#mostly because i'm not sure where my flats are if i still have them around

[dredshirtroberts]

...i think for the first time in recorded history the outfit i was thinking about wearing and planning out to wear is in fact the the outfit i will be wearing. Normally these pants give me more trouble and self-confidence issues but today they're the only ones i can make work with the rest of it and honestly? I feel kinda good about it.

[justagalwhowrites]

Undone

After a stressful week at the office, Joel knows just how to take care of his wife. AKA Joel Miller doms the stress out of you.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: No Outbreak AU. Established relationship, husband and wife. Dom!Joel x Sub!Reader (light). Tiny little age gap (like 5 years? I'm picturing Joel at 44 and reader at 39?) Unprotected P in V sex. Oral sex, F receiving. Creampie. Overstimulation. Aftercare.

Length: 5.4k

A/N: This is totally self indulgent. It's also like... entirely smut. Sorry. But not really. OK love you bye!

Joel knew what you were after the minute you kicked the door closed. 

It was Friday and it had been a hell of a week for you. Joel had done his best to support you through it - he’d finished up one big job on Tuesday and didn’t start the next one until Monday - so he’d taken the lead on keeping the household running while you put in extra hours and came home frustrated and exhausted every night. 

He knew it wasn’t going to magically be better just because it was Friday, so he’d spent the day trying to make the end to your work week as good as he could. He went to the HEB and got your favorite snacks, picked out flowers for the kitchen table, even went by the liquor store on the way home to get everything you’d need to unwind at the end of your day. He started smoking ribs early that afternoon and was outside to sauce them when he heard the door slam behind you. 

Joel didn’t need to see what happened, he knew from the sound that you’d thrown the door open and then kicked it shut behind you. He’d bet the check from his next job that you’d be face down on the couch, your shoes and briefcase a little trail from the front door to the living room. He shook his head, taking a swig of Shiner before closing the smoker and heading inside to find his wife. 

You were exactly where he thought you’d be, taking up almost the entire length of the couch, flat on your stomach, blazer still on but your heels and bags scattered between you and the front door. 

“Aw baby,” he said sympathetically. “That great a day, hm?” 

You made a sound that was caught somewhere between a grunt and a groan. 

“Want to talk about it?” 

You made the sound again and Joel tried not to laugh at it. 

“Here,” he said, coming and adjusting your legs so he could sit beside you on the couch. You groaned as he did but he guided you from lying on your stomach to sitting up to leaning on him, your face in his chest. He put his arm around you and gave you a squeeze. “Tell me what melted down.” 

“We have our quarterly earnings release going out in less than two weeks,” you sighed. “And it’s a shit show. Legal’s been reviewing that shit for what feels like an eternity and I need to issue the goddamn release announcing the date of the full release but I can’t do that until I actually know that legal and financial are going to have stuff sorted in time and the CEO has emailed me twice a day about it the whole week because sure, the legal team definitely falls under my department…” 

Joel held the still mostly full bottle of beer in front of you and you took it from him, your fingers brushing his and you were quiet for a moment as you took a sip before handing it back. 

“Also, HR is going to be the death of me,” you continued, on a tear now. “I swear, it shouldn’t be that hard to find a qualified entry level candidate but here we are, still short staffed 10 weeks after I got the OK to hire. They’ve sent me two resumes, Joel. Two. I called them today to ask how many they’d received and they’ve had 226 candidates apply and they’ve sent me fucking two! I refuse to believe that just one percent of applicants were remotely qualified so I asked them to forward me all the applications since, apparently, recruiting can’t do their damn jobs so I’m going to have to do it for them…” 

Joel nodded along, handing you the beer periodically when he felt you getting too worked up. He found himself, not for the first time, awed by what you did for a living. He didn’t understand much of it, really, and he was thankful he didn’t need to. He wasn’t cut out for that kind of shit. You, on the other hand, had jumped in with both feet when you’d started at your company seven years ago when the two of you had just started dating, You’d risen up the ranks quickly and you now had a team of several dozen people reporting up to you. As gentle and sweet as Joel knew you to be at your core, he knew you were also unflinchingly driven at work. During the COVID shut down, he’d gotten a glimpse of it, listening to you take people - mostly men who seemed to think you weren’t as capable as you clearly were - to task and get things done. He was eternally grateful that, when the two of you fought, you didn’t take him down the way you did people who crossed you in the office. Though that stood in sharp contrast to how Joel heard you talk to the people who reported up to you, with you seemingly always happy to lend an ear or provide guidance or take the heat if they fucked something up that was going outside your department. 

Unfortunately, that meant you had weeks like this one, where plenty went wrong and you had no one to pass the buck to. And he knew as well as you did that you wouldn’t just let something fall apart, not if there was a damn thing you could do about it. Even if that meant working yourself into the ground. 

After a while you just deflated against him and he handed you the beer again. You took a long drink, emptying the bottle, and Joel took it from you to set on the side table. 

“Feelin’ better?” He asked, his nose brushing your hair. 

“Kind of,” you sighed, pressing yourself closer to him. 

“Somethin’ more I can do?” He asked, trying to make sure that he wasn’t nudging you in the direction he was hoping this would go. 

“Yeah,” you said, something shifting in your tone when you said it. No longer frustrated and fed up, instead needy and wanting. You sat up from him and looked at him through your eyelashes, practically pouting. “Turn my brain off for a bit?” 

Joel’s heart picked up, heat and tension already gathering low in him. 

“Aw, my baby need me to fuck her stupid?” He asked, reaching out to cup your face in his hand. His thumb traced along the arch of your cheekbone as his eyes locked on your blown pupils. “You need me to make that big brain of yours slow down for a while, that it?” 

“Yes please,” you breathed. He could feel your skin getting warmer below his touch. 

“Please what?” 

“Please sir,” you said, holding your hands up with your wrists together, like an offering. “Please fuck me stupid. Please sir.” 

He quirked his jaw before he smiled, dark and low.

“Good girl,” he growled. He got up and closed his large hands around your wrists before pulling you sharply to your feet, looking you up and down as he did. There was something that drove him wild, seeing you like this. Dressed in your armor of the business world, a place where lesser men had to go to you for permission to do a goddamn thing, and you came home to him, begging him to strip you down to something small and vulnerable and easily consumed. 

He wasn’t sure why you’d picked him of all people. When you’d met almost eight years earlier, his first thought was that you were way out of his fucking league. A friend of Tommy’s then girlfriend now wife, you were a few years younger than him but had clearly kept your life on the right fucking track the whole time instead of driving it into the ground for a while first. You’d gone to college, built a damn impressive career, had goals and dreams and plans for yourself. You were beautiful and smart and funny and kind and the first time he’d taken your clothes off he was still not entirely sure why you were letting him do it. 

He’d been even more surprised the first time you’d shared with him that you wanted him to take control in the way he was now. 

“I just have to make decisions all the time,” you’d said, folded into a corner of his couch with a glass of wine in your hands. “I just really want to have someone else take over for a while, you know? Not have to make any plans or take care of anybody else, just enjoy and be enjoyed.” 

That, Joel had thought, he could give you. 

It wasn’t something the two of you always indulged in but there were days like this one where you seemed to crave it. Maybe even a step beyond that - you needed it. You needed the safety of Joel’s guidance, the comfort of his control, the ease of his pleasure. He liked to give you those things. More than liked it, sometimes he lived for it. 

Today was one of those days. 

He led you to the bedroom and stood you at the foot of the bed, your wrists still firmly in his hands as his eyes searched yours. 

“You just want to be my little doll, is that it?” He asked, his thumbs brushing the inside of your wrists. Your pulse was heavy and hard. “Want me to take control so all you have to do is feel what I let you feel?” 

“Yes,” you breathed. 

“Yes what.” 

“Yes sir,” you were practically squirming. 

“What are your colors,” he said more than asked. 

“Green, yellow, red,” you answered quickly. 

“Where are you now?” 

“Green.” 

“Good girl,” he guided your hands so they hung at your sides. “Don’t move until I tell you.” 

He watched you resist the urge to nod and he slipped his hands below the lapels of your jacket, running his hands over your skin for a moment before shoving the sleeves down your arms and leaving the blazer in a pile on the floor. He watched you swallow, your throat working and he tried not to think about making you kneel and taking his cock into that pretty throat of yours. He knew just how good it would feel while you sucked him, how fucking good it would feel to come down your throat. 

Maybe later. Right now, he needed to take care of you. And that’s exactly what he was going to do. 

*** 

When Joel touched you like this, it was like something unspooled inside yourself. There had been a knot in your stomach for days at least - maybe longer - and nothing had worked to untangle it. Not crossing things off your to do list at the office, not the yoga class you’d skipped lunch to take, not the iced latte your assistant had ducked out to grab you that afternoon. But Joel’s hands on your skin as they slipped the slender straps of your satin top down your arms were better than anything else, especially when your mind wasn’t going a mile a minute thinking of ways to please him in return. You watched as he moved to undress you, his eyes heavy and hot and hungry as your top pooled around your hips. He reached around your body to unhook your bra, casting it aside before cupping your breasts in his large palms, groaning as he did. 

“You feel so good,” his thumbs brushed your nipples. “My soft, pretty fuckin’ girl.” 

“Joel,” you whimpered, clenching your hands into fists to keep from reaching out to touch him. He’d told you to stay still and you had to obey. If you didn’t, you knew he’d drag out your first orgasm for what felt like an eternity, bringing you just to the edge of it but never letting you fall into your climax until you were a desperate, dripping, squirming mess. 

“What, baby?” He almost cooed at you, just a hint of a teasing edge to his tone. “What’s my baby need?” 

“More,” you whined. “I need more, please, I need…” 

He took his hands off you then and looked you in the eye and you almost reached for him before you caught yourself. 

“Who decides what you need right now,” he said. You moaned and he ignored you. “Who. Tell me, pretty girl.” 

“You,” you said. 

“That’s right,” he nodded. “And I’ll give you more when I decide you need more and I decide I’m done enjoyin’ the parts of you I’m enjoyin’ right now. So. You stand still like a good little doll and we’ll see when I’ll let you have more. Got it?” 

“Yes,” you said. 

He took your chin in his fingers, forcing you to look him in the eye. 

“Yes what.” 

“Yes sir.” 

His crooked smile dimpled his cheek. 

“Good girl.” 

He returned to touching you, running his large and callused hands over your shoulders to your chest, holding and massaging your breasts and you could tell he was taking his time less for himself and more because he knew what it was doing to you. That it was making you achy and desperate and the thoughts that had been weighing on you all day at the office were slipping out of your mind, drifting far away into the ether. 

“Think I remember you sayin’ something about more?” Joel said, his voice low and gravelly as his hand slipped over your stomach, below the bunched fabric of your shirt, below the waistband of your pants until his fingertips were brushing your bare mound inside your panties. You whimpered. “How about I give you some more, hm?” 

His index finger reached out and brushed the top of your clit, sending a shiver through you, all the heat you had inside yourself pooling low in your stomach. 

Joel chuckled. 

“Think she likes it.” 

He pressed a little lower, a little firmer, working your sensitive nub in slow, languid circles. 

“She like this too?” 

You nodded frantically. 

“Thought I told you not to move,” Joel said, stern. 

“But…” 

“No buts,” he cut you off. “You wanted to give me control so you give me control. Otherwise, you won’t get what you want. Got it?” 

“Yes sir.” 

“You’re lucky,” he said as he went to open your pants. “Got me all worked up, too. Too worked up to draw this out the way you deserve, squirmin’ the way you are.” 

He got on his knees in front of you and gathered the fabric of your shirt, pants and underwear in his hands and pulled them all down in one go, the sudden exposure of your skin to the air making you gasp and goosebumps scatter over you in sharp little pin pricks. 

“Fuck, there you are,” he groaned, his hands coming to grip the thick swell of your ass, his fingers digging into the meat of you as he pressed a kiss to your stomach just below your belly button. You moaned, wanting nothing more than to tangle your fingers in his curls. You clenched your fists tighter, nails digging into your palms, acutely aware of where he was touching you because of the absence of him everywhere else. 

He trailed his mouth down to your slit, his tongue dipping into you there, brushing against your clit, the heat of his mouth in sharp contrast to the cold air against your wetness. His hands slipped up your back, finding your waist before Joel stood, his still clothed body so close to your naked one. 

“Lie down for me,” he said, a little breathless. “Middle of the bed.” 

You rushed to obey and watched hungrily as Joel undressed himself, his black t-shirt coming up and over his head, his jeans opening to reveal his tight boxer briefs with his thick, hard cock straining the fabric. He took off everything before crawling up the bed over you and, for half a moment, you thought he really was going to give into you that quickly, give you exactly what you wanted that fast. But instead of settling between your thighs with his heavy length brushing against your slit and his mouth on yours, he fell to the side of you, the weight of him jostling the mattress. You turned your head to look at him, confused, and he laughed, dark and low. 

“You didn’t think you were gonna make me give in that fast, did you?” He asked. He slid one arm below your ribs, his hand coming up and around the back of you to hold your breast while his other hand teased a feather light path down from your throat, over your chest, your stomach to your slit. “No, not done with this yet.” 

“But…” 

“You just lie still and let me worship you,” he said, his palm cupping your mound, his middle finger settling between your lower lips as he put gentle pressure against your clit. The tip of his finger circled your dripping entrance but didn’t slip inside where you were aching and desperate for him. “Want to enjoy you for a while.” 

He didn’t give you a chance to protest, his mouth finding just the right spot on your throat at the same moment he added pressure to your clit, grinding his hand against your most tender place and making your back arch below his touch. 

Joel kissed and licked and sucked along your neck, your collarbone, your breast, his cock brushing against your thigh as he manipulated your body and you could feel his precome on your skin when it did and you were desperate to touch him there, to feel just how hard you’d made him, make him start to unravel the way he was doing to you. 

“Don’t even think about it,” he said, a finger sliding inside of you, making you groan. 

“But I want…” 

He pulled back from you to look in your eyes and you could tell from the glassy look on his face that you probably already looked like a fucked out mess. 

“You tryin’ to make me feel good or you want it for yourself?” He asked, brows raised. You tried to find the words but couldn’t. He nodded. “S’what I thought, you sit still like I fuckin’ told you. You try to touch me and I won’t let you come, got it? This is about you, not me so you’re gonna lay there and take it, understand?” 

“Yes sir,” you whimpered. 

He went back to working you over, adjusting so that he could fully kiss down your body until his head was between your thighs, two fingers buried inside of you as he looked up your body to your face. 

“New rules,” he said, pressing his lips to your clit for a moment and sucking it into his mouth before continuing. “Want you to come and I want you to come hard. You’re allowed to touch my head to put me where you need but you do anything else with those hands and we’re startin’ over. Understood?” 

“Yes sir.” 

“Good girl.” 

He practically dove into your pussy, his thumb working your clit, his tongue licking deep into your channel. The fire in your belly burned brighter and it was like you could feel all the blood in your body pulling into the center of you. Your hands flew to his head, the thick of his hair and the heat of his scalp almost sharp against your fingers after having felt nothing but your own palms for what felt like forever. You rocked your hips against his face as he ate at you, a finger slipping into you alongside his tongue, working the inside of you deftly so that you were never empty but never lacking the friction of him moving in you. His fingertip curled into the soft, sensitive place inside of you that he found so easily now, adding the perfect amount of pressure as his thumb and nose worked your clit and you felt your pussy get so tight and hot you worried, for half a second, that it would hurt him before every worry flew out of your head entirely, your entire body flooded with waves of pleasure as you came on his tongue. 

Joel worked you through your orgasm, never letting up as you moaned and panted, your grip on his hair easing as your body started to go limp. Your pussy was so sensitive when your climax eased but Joel didn’t pay your little whimpers any mind. He pulled his mouth from you but added another finger, fucking into you with his hand and adjusting so his palm was grinding against your clit as he did. 

“There you go,” he panted, wiping your slick from his mouth before taking his cock in his hand and working himself with it. “That what you needed, pretty girl?” 

“Yes sir,” you whimpered. 

“Good,” he said, his eyes ranging over you, dark and hot. “Because now it’s my turn.” 

He pulled his fingers from you and spread your thighs a little wider, lining his cock up with your still weakly grasping hole for half a moment before thrusting deep into you in one devastating go. You gasped at the stretch of him filling you like that, the inside of you still soft and tender from your orgasm. Your fingers scrambled at the blanket below you, your back arched and taut and you tried to hold onto something - anything - in your head beside how he was splitting you open. 

“I say you could use your hands like that?” He asked, his fingers finding your wrists and clamping around them. He pressed deep inside you and folded over you, bringing your hands with him, pressing your wrists down into the mattress over your head. “Didn’t think so. You’re my little doll right now, ain’t you? Mine to do what I want with and I want you to take it.” 

“Joel,” you whimpered. 

“That ain’t my name right now, is it?” 

“Sir,” you corrected, resisting the urge to rock your hips up against him. “Please!” 

“Please what?” 

You couldn’t put words to what you wanted to ask for and Joel just smirked before releasing your wrists and sitting up, looking down over your body to where he disappeared inside of it. 

“What I thought,” he said, his hands pressing your thighs wide before his thumb trailed over where you were split open on him to your clit, teasing you in a slow circle that made you jerk involuntarily below him. He took it away, his hand on the soft flesh of your thigh again. “You leave those hands there and take it. You can take it, pretty girl. Know you can.” 

With that, he pulled back, slow and aching, before fucking back into you, hard and fast with a forceful grunt. You watched him fuck you, his cock slamming into you with enough force that it jerked your body up and down the bed. You were lost in it, the way you could see his muscles flex, the way his eyes ranged over you - watching the place he was spreading you open and the way your tits bounced for him and up to your face to meet your eyes and back again. It was almost hypnotic, like there was nothing else in the world that existed outside of him. He was controlling you totally, fucking into you with enough force that you couldn’t even breathe out of sync with his thrusts, your body just something he could manipulate and pleasure and use however he saw fit. 

You weren’t sure how long he fucked you like that before his hands ran over your thighs to your core, his thumbs brushing along your clit, pressing into you there and working you in hard little circles as your channel started to tighten around him again. 

“There we go,” he panted. “Got another one right there don’t you? You’re gonna give it to me, aren’t you pretty girl. Gonna give me everything, ain’t you?”

“Yes sir,” you whined, your fingernails digging into your palms as you fought to keep your hands still. 

“Good girl,” he pressed himself deep as he worked your clit and returned to his same punishing rhythm, the head of him finding the place inside you he’d claimed for himself. He left one thumb on your clit, his other hand stretching up and over your stomach, fingers splaying wide on you until it was in the middle of your chest where you knew he could feel how your heart was pounding behind your ribs. The feel of him everywhere was overwhelming, the tight spool of pleasure that had never fully relaxed after your first orgasm already wound unbearably tight again. 

“Want you to come for me,” he said, voice needy. “Want you to be a good girl and come. Give it all to me, baby, want you to just let go and give it all to me, let it all go, c’mon and come for me, make me fuckin’ feel it…” 

You cried out as you obeyed, your channel fluttering over his cock as he kept fucking you deep and hard. You could feel your orgasm in the very center of you, in every muscle and every nerve, your climax taking hold of you so firmly that you felt a gush of liquid rush out of you. 

“Fuck, there you go,” he said, not letting up. “Fuck baby, love when you squirt for me, such a good fuckin’ girl…” 

The wet snap of his hips into you was obscene and, as your orgasm eased, your body was already drawing tight again. Your heart raced and you could feel everything, everything, so sharp and harsh and overwhelming. Your head swam, your skin prickled. 

“Love feeling you come for me,” Joel was still fucking into you, hard and bruising like he was trying to climb inside your skin and claim a place for himself there. “Love when you get all tight and desperate, love making you all needy…” 

You let out a fucked out little whimper, tears pricking at your eyes, not able to see straight through the haze of your already building orgasm. Joel leaned over you, his cock buried deep but going still. 

“You with me, pretty girl?” He asked, his hands sliding up your arms to find your wrists, holding you gently in place. You couldn’t seem to find the words to answer, too overstimulated to think of anything beyond how he was filling you and surrounding you. “Gimme a color, baby.” 

“Yellow,” you managed. 

 He took your limp wrists in his large palms and guided your hands to his skin, resting them on his broad shoulders. 

“That help?” He asked. “You can nod.” 

You nodded quickly, your breathing evening out, body still tight and strung out. 

“Color?” 

“Green,” you said, the tears that were in your eyes slipping down your cheeks but not being replaced by new ones. 

“Good,” he shifted inside you, pulling back a little before thrusting in again. “Because I ain’t done with you yet. You keep those hands right where I put ‘em and just focus on coming one more time for me, need you to milk me dry, baby.” 

But his pace eased, less frantic and more desperate, working you slow and firm from within. He buried his face into your neck, his mouth finding that place that sent shocks of pleasure through your whole body. His hands ranged over you, fingers hungry and grasping at your skin, his hips working against your clit as his cock found its home deep within you. 

“Know you’re close,” he said against your skin, lips still close enough to brush against you as he spoke. He kissed along your neck, nose teasing along your throat. “You got one more in you, baby, I know you do.” 

“Sir,” you whimpered, pleading, not sure if you wanted to come or wanted to just dissolve. 

“You can come,” he fucked you slow and deep. His public bone pressed against your clit and your back arched. “Want you to come, want to feel you come. Make me feel you, baby. Be a good girl and make me feel you.” 

You dared to let yourself move, just enough that you could rock your hips up against him, working yourself with his body as you felt him grow impossibly thicker and harder inside you. Or, maybe, you were just tightening further around him, body clinging to him in one last desperate push for closeness as your climax hit again. You cried out with it and you couldn’t just leave your hands on Joel’s shoulders, instead latching onto his hair and sliding down his back, pulling him flush against your body so the only thing left in the world was him and his skin and the thick of his cock as he started to pulse inside of you. 

Your orgasm almost hurt it was so intense. You could feel every inch of Joel’s cock in you, the heat and softness of his skin against you, every muscle in your body going rigid and tense for a moment before relaxing. Your vision went spotty and you got light headed and you lost track of time. 

The next thing you knew, you were in Joel’s arms, cradled against his chest, his fingers trailing a gentle path along the edge of your hairline and jaw, thumb brushing the plush of your lips. 

“There you are,” he said softly and pressed a kiss to your forehead, his large hand coming to rest against your cheek as you turned your head to look at him. His eyes were soft and warm and there was a gentle smile on his face. “How are you feelin’ love?” 

You took stock of your body for a moment, everything feeling light and airy. 

“I’m good,” you smiled a little. 

“Yeah?” He said, his thumb brushing your cheek. “Take a deep breath for me, OK?” 

You nodded a little and did as you were told, only realizing then just how little your lungs had been inflating before. 

“How’s that feelin’?” He asked. “Good?” 

You just nodded, still smiling. 

“How about this for the night,” he said, going back to tracing an easy trail over your skin with his fingertips. “In a few minutes, I get up and get you water and a cocktail while you put on that pretty little swimsuit of yours. You float in the water while I look at ya and finish those ribs in the smoker…” 

“You’re making me ribs?” You almost pouted, your brows going up. 

Joel chuckled. 

“Yeah, that OK?” 

“That’s my favorite,” you said, feeling like you might be about to cry. 

“I know it is, baby,” he said, kissing your temple again. “S’why I made ‘em. Got that potato salad you like, green beans, cornbread too. Even got that chocolate cake you like so much…” 

“The Oreo one?” You sniffed, tearing up. 

“The Oreo one,” he brushed your hair back. “You still with me there baby?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded, crying a little. You weren’t entirely sure why, just every emotion you’d had over the past week seeming to bubble up at once. “I think so…” 

“You’re OK,” Joel said, pulling you closer, his lips gentle on your skin. “I’ve got you.” 

You just nodded against him and focused on how his skin felt on yours, his warmth and strength grounding while your mind was still swimming. 

“What about after dinner?” You sniffed. 

“We can watch one of those movies you like so much,” he said. “I know the ones that’ve been on your list, you don’t gotta pick unless you want to. Sound good?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “But… can we just stay here for a little while first? Please?” 

“Course baby,” he said. “Whatever you need. I’ll take care of you.” 

You nuzzled into his skin and breathed deep and you didn’t really know why you’d been so stressed when you got home to begin with. You just knew that you had Joel and that, as long as he was there, everything else would be OK.

[omaano]

SW Hades AU August Update

Links and previous updates: May - June - July, everything else in this AU

In contrast to the July update, I didn't make as much progress in August as I'd intended, but all the same I'm quite happy with what I get to share with you here:

In the previous poll I only promised to get Echo and Fives to lines and flat colours by this (more than a bit belated) update, but thanks to @lesquatrechevrons keeping me company while I was working on them I managed to get the Domino Twins character art to a state of "almost finished". (I had posted them as "finished" but that was before I realized that I'd forgotten to add the little specks of neon colour to them, but oh well, I hate that stage anyway XD)

I also did some brainstorming with the amazing @elwinged about all the characters, as well as the various weapons and their aspects for this AU. They had some great theories and ideas, and also made me actively think about these things, which was real fun!

Before I go into some ramblings about what went into Echo and Fives' art and design (gotta pad this update with something, and some of you seemed to enjoy it with Omega last time), let's have another poll for next month! I've looked over my table of characters and plans, and I came to the delightful realization that I've made far better progress than how it feels on a day-to-day basis. So maybe it's time to work a bit on the boon-giver characters for a change:

Also would anyone be interested in a taglist for these updates, or are you all fine with me just putting these out whenever and let tumblr do its thing in getting them to you? (send me an ask or reply here if yes, I know my tumblr is a mess XD)

Now on to some thoughts on Echo and Fives:

Depicted but not illustrated in its fullest is that Rex has been a constant presence next to Echo and Fives (and to Cody, too, previous to that). It bears repeating that I really wanted to make sure that the clones are the same in size, and share as many colours as possible (so Cody also stood around as moral support when it came to Fives' hair). So you can also see how the shading on their faces are very similar in their shapes, except for the shadows in that part where nose, cheek and mouth meet, because I wanted to make the Dominoes look a bit younger.

Same with how Rex still has that wrinkle in his forehead that I oddly fixate on so much (don't ask), but Echo and Fives very clerly don't. I'll claim that it had been a completely conscious decision, and not just time passing between the two designs - well over half a year - during which I got it into my head that I should depict the clones during wartime as close to their barely-20-ish age as possible.

One thing I didn't commit to enough though (because I chickened out) was to make Fives look a bit more "dead" and ghostly before I put the blue-green soft light adjustment layer on him was the deeper and darker circles under his eyes, and I fully intended to leave out the light reflection from his eyes... but in the end I went back and added a duller shine to them because I'm weak, it's barely visible and he looked too grumpy and mean already T^T I also didn't want to make his cheeks more hollow or anything, because then I would just feel bad and weird about taking away the roundness from their shapes that I've worked so hard to put on them.

As I was working on this piece I've also thought a lot on the style that I've been trying to mimic through this project.

The thing that gave me pause is that I see more and more of my own style slipping into these pieces, I allow my lines to round out more... and I can claim that it is mostly because that's the compromise I can make with the clones, but I open up and look at Hades references less and less, and I just go freely with what's stuck in my brain while I'd tried to wrap my mind around the style when I first went at it.

I've also always had trouble with grouping my shadows and shapes, and this is exactly what I should be pushing more from now on forward. I keep letting myself get distracted by all the tiny details that I so enjoy to put into my work (case in point all that scarring on Echo, and even Fives' hair - as well as Cody's previously, but I didn't know how else to convey the texture of their hair in less and larger shapes). Hades character designs always feel so rich with detail, but at the same time they are a lot more streamlined than what I'd do if i let my own instincts and desires run wild. I'll try to work with that in the future!

Last but not least a few words on Echo's armor:

I'm slowly but surely stretching my artistic muscles a little and going a bit off-model for the characters, so I wanted Echo to wear armor that is a mix of his ARC and Bad Batch commando armor. So he's got the old plates on his arms (where he still has one LOL), all the straps and pouches (and both blasters!) and old kama hanging from his belt, as well as the hand print paint (because that is personally very very important to me that he has it). Then, beause I desperately needed some other colour in my characters that's not blue or black or grey, he's got elements of the red and orange paint he wears later in TBB (I really wanted him to have that orange stripe down the middle of his chest piece too, but I couldn't make it work with the handprint :() I'm real happy with this balance, and particularly with the shades of blue in his worn paint ^^

I also really wanted to give him a hand (I'll never not be frustrated at how Echo was kept literally handicapped with only his left hand to shoot and grab things (and people) with. It's good that he'd been an ARC and trained in dual wielding, but in a world where people keep losing their appendages (and sometimes half of their bodies) as if it was np big deal at all, it couldn't have been too difficult to get him a hand!! ANYWAYS. I'd first learned how to draw mechanical prosthetic hands/arms during my time in the Overwatch fandom, and I don't think I could draw them any other way (especially the fingers and the lights showing through in their joints) than how I'd done for Cole Cassidy way back when he still had a different name XD

I know there is a relatively limited way in how and what parts you can use to build up a hand/forearm, but I just cannot unsee it, and I thought I'd share this tidbit fun fact as well XD

I hope you enjoyed these ramblings, and I promise to try and keep to the normal mid-month-ish schedule for September!

[heavyhitterheaux]

A fluffy request I can think of is something where jack tells reader ‘ur kisses taste like heaven’ 🥹🥹

Has a sprinkle of angst involved, but mostly fluff!

It was your first night at home after being released from the hospital and Jack had been on edge. He kept watching you like a hawk and barely left your side. The only time that you were able to have a moment to yourself was if you escaped to the bathroom for a few minutes. But all in all, you couldn't blame him.

You died in front of him twice and that had been his biggest wake up call. Knowing that at that point he was so close to losing you and losing you forever, he vowed to make sure every single day that the two of you had left on earth, he would make sure you knew how much he loved you.

The two of you had been downstairs for the majority of the day and when 10 PM rolled around, you found that your eyes were getting heavy and thought that making your way upstairs was probably a good idea.

As soon as you moved, Jack jumped up right behind you.

“Are you okay? You need anything?”

“No, babe. I'm okay, just getting a little tired. I just want to lay down.”

“Okay, I got the bed all ready for you.”

“Sounds good. I'll probably take a shower first.” You replied as you put your hair up into a ponytail.

“Should you be standing up that long? Do you need me to help you?”

Knowing that it would probably make Jack feel safer and you as well, you quickly agreed.

“Could you just sit in the bathroom with me so I won't be by myself?” You asked as you looked up at Jack and wrapped your arms around him.

“Of course, baby. Anything to keep you safe.”

As promised, Jack stayed with you the entire time in the bathroom as you took a quick shower. It felt good to be back in your own house and in your own bathroom with familiar territory surrounding you.

As you stepped out, he immediately handed you a towel and helped you dry off, making sure to pay close attention to your incision and making sure he was extra careful.

“Does it still hurt?” He quietly asked as he was slowly wiping away the water droplets surrounding it.

“Not as much anymore. They told me to take Tylenol if it does.”

After putting on lotion and Jack getting you a fresh set of pajamas, he helped you get settled in the bed before making his way to the other side and laying down next to you.

You immediately cuddled into him and he quickly embraced you and kissed the top of your head.

“You have no idea how much I missed this and missed you.” You quietly confessed as Jack rubbed small circles along your back.

“Right back at you.”

“It feels weird to have a somewhat flat stomach and no children in the house.”

“Soon enough, baby. They just need to get stronger and all three of them will be home before we know it.”

You started playing with Jack's beard and he simply closed his eyes as you two held onto each other.

Lifting your head, you lightly kissed him as he eagerly kissed you back. Jack cupped your face with his left hand and gave you a few more kisses before pulling away from you. He rested his forehead against yours as the two of you laid in a comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Your kisses taste like heaven.” You quietly said as a few tears slipped out and Jack was quick to kiss them away.

“I didn't know if I would ever be able to feel your lips against mine again. You know how much I love you and I'm sorry if I ever took you being my wife for granted.”

“Baby, I'm okay. Promise. They wouldn't have let me leave the hospital if I wasn't. And I love you more.” You told him because at this point, the both of you were in an upset state.

“I know but I'm still going to worry about you. I mean, you're my wife. How can I not?”

“But you know if it was left up to me that I wasn't going to leave you or them.”

“With your stubborn ass, I know.” Jack replied as you both laughed.

“I'll let that slide one time and one time only. But give me more kisses so I can sleep.”

Jack granted your wish as he gave you several more before you laid your head on his chest hoping to fall into a deep sleep.

Once Jack heard your breathing slow down, he still kept an eye on you making sure that you were okay.

He finally fell asleep around two in the morning, but was jolted back awake around four. Looking down and making sure you were okay, he slipped out from the bed and made his way into the bathroom splashing water on his face and peered in the mirror.

In a whispered breath, he muttered “fuck.”

His nightmares had returned.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Can I just say I love how like, into revisiting and analysing this dumb show’s scenes you still are — with the rise in popularity of streaming (I’m sure this has something to do with it, anyway) it’s become more and more commonplace for people to consume a piece of media, enjoy it, get bored of it after a while and never touch it again after moving on to the next new thing. It’s so wholesome and refreshing to see people still be so passionate and always find something new to talk about a show that, for all many of us care, ended 8 years ago. I do move in and out of being obsessed and disinterested with the media I’ve enjoyed, but in a world where I’m constantly seeing people say “oh you’re a fan of [X]? But that’s old :/“ (mostly about something that finished like last year lol) your blog is a breath of fresh air :)

Well thank you 🥹

The thing is, I get it. I get why and how people move on to different fandoms so quickly, and I don't really think poorly of that or anything. It's been almost a decade and it's easy to fall out of love with something after so long. Hell, when you think about it, this fandom has outlived the lifespan of a lot of entire relationships people have had 🥴. People find new things to get excited over and the *gasp* feeling of finding this new /thing/ is always fun. So I do get it.

But for me, it's just not that way. It's not that simple. Not because I think I'm somehow special (maybe a lil deranged 😬), but rather that's just how I operate. Before Clexa the only other ship I ever really cared about was Willara from Buffy which I watched when I was a goddamn teenager lol (RIP to my fellow gays always falling for girls who get shot ✊😔). I just don't get attached much to characters and ships. Usually ai like them in passing, enjoy watching them, and then that's... it. Tibette from the L Word. Wayhaught. Brittana. I like them and I follow them, but there's no real desire to delve deeper beneath the surface.

And then something like Clexa comes around and just absolutely fucks me up. It hits me and connects with me in a way that I just can't shake. Watching the show isn't enough. Thinking about it isn't enough. I have to discuss it and dissect it and fill in the gaps that we didn't see, and read and (now) create more stories for them just to understand everything about them to a deeper degree.

So few characters really elicit that kind of connection, but Clexa do. Even for a lot of the people who have moved on, at one time they felt that connection. Clexa was a fuckin madhouse for years and I think the fact that even still to this day people keep discovering and rediscovering them and falling in love with them all over again speaks volumes about just how wonderful that relationship and those characters actually were.

Especially Lexa.

Now, I love Clarke. I make it known that thiiiisss is a Clarke Griffin apologist's blog. That feral little kitten has never done anything wrong in her life. Ever. Including all of the terrible things she's done, as well as the many, many things that were flat out wrong. She is still innocent. She is only a baby. A murderous, tormented, compassionate, complex babygirl. So never get it twisted that I'm saying Clarke is somehow lesser than, but when push comes to shove when we're talking about baseline complexity, there is no character like Lexa. There's just not.

This woman was definition of doomed by the narrative. A child stolen away to be used as a glorified sacrificial lamb for her people. A toddler wielding a sword made of wood taller than her own tiny body, trained to accept her own life as expendable for the greatest good of her people before even learning her ABCs. She took the throne at 12 bby slaughtering her only companions and made her death mask out of kohl and fallen tears. Every person she ever loved as a mother, father, brother, either died for her, or by her own hand. The only two people she ever dared to be weak for were torn from her in the name of politics and the weight of her own bloodied crown. Under all the regalia she was just Lexa. Heda, always surrounded by her people and yet eternally just a lonely soul. Born here on Earth, raised to eventually die for others, left to rule over the people on the ground as best she knew how.

And yet through the pain, she was strong. So fucking strong it emboldened the warriors around her. She was brave, and lethal, and unyielding in her pursuit of peace. Meeting every push against her forward march to change head on, never flinching in her own brutality along the way. She knew that she was born for this; believed the black of her blood to be every bit as much of a blessing as it was a curse. Even when people doubted her and did their best to end her reign, Lexa always came out swinging.

She loved hard and kicked ass even harder, is what I'm saying. And the fact that they took a character like that and ended her so fucking carelessly? I just... I'm gonna be pissed off about that for a very long time. And until I'm no longer pissed off about that, I'll be here running mouth about it 🥴 probably still trying to make it better by writing her and the love of her life in as many stories as I can, so they can finally get the happy ending that was robbed of them in canon 🫡

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I sent a complaint about my upstairs neighbors to our buildings management despite never having communicated with them directly? Okay so I live in an apartment building. My upstairs neighbors regularly have loud parties (?) It doesn't always sound like it, but at least loud music playing, and sometimes that includes stomping around (assumed dancing) and loud talking/laughing or rarely fighting. This usually occurs on weekend nights, from friday to saturday or from saturday to sunday (most common I'd say), and can last for hours. Sometimes it's just during the day/afternoon, which, annoying, but sure, it's day, can deal with it while just being annoyed.

At some point, this was mainly an issue when I had sleepover guests, since they would sleep in the living room, opposite side of the flat I sleep on, and usually where all that originates (assuming they are also doing this in their living room) But I feel like it has been getting progressively worse, both in volume and times this happens at. It's currently 3.45 am on a Saturday, and they've been going since at least 3, probably earlier, but that's when I woke up/became aware enough to actively notice it. (Proofreading and it's now 4.10am, still going strong up there-) Now, I'm not one to call the police, especially when there is no actual danger or physical harm that can't be dealt with otherwise effectively, bc ACAB, but I've taken several clips with audio tonight because I'm fucking tired and am heavily considering sending the management company for our building a complaint about them. The issue I'm not clear on is mostly...that I never really talked to them directly. I know they've gotten complaints and stopped before, and I've left a note together with a guest of mine in front of their door before. Yet it remains a recurring occurrence. I've never actually knocked or rang the doorbell to directly ask them to stop. I live alone and am afab in my 20s, all I know about my upstairs neighbors is that it's two men (though there's definitely sometimes people over, as I said sometimes these occurrences are definitely parties). At most I will have one friend over who's also afab on these occasions. (We are both trans/nb but p much present as our assigned gender in current circumstances) I also have social anxiety, though I don't think it's particularly unreasonable to be worried to confront unknown men, who will know where I live as well, about literally anything considering we live in a society TM. (Obviously I don't know that it wouldn't just go over very easily however, exactly the issue that you can never rly know that- like ik most people would probably react chill or at best annoyed I'm interrupting them or whatever but there's always a chance to run into the exceptions TM)

I don't need to work on the weekends (though other people in flats around us might, idk) but I still gotta like, maintain my sleeping rhythm ideally, and you know. Generally pleasant to be able to sleep at night if you would like to- I do not know what actions they would or could take if they do consider the complaint at all, but I'm not really assuming they'd like, cause them serious issues regarding their living situation, it's more likely at most they get a letter/some shitty little flyer to not loudly party in the middle of the night get put up in the hallway/at the building doors. But again that's my assumption and not a fact I know for sure, I could be completely wrong about that, and I don't know if there's potential other complaints.

So, WIBTA if I sent clips of the loud music in the middle of the night and a complaint to our building management without knowing potential consequences, even though I have not tried to communicate with my neighbors except a singular note one time?

What are these acronyms?

[dailypokemoncrochet]

Hey! Love your work, love this project, it’s super inspiring 😄

I’ve been crocheting for about 8-9 months now and I’ve made a whole bunch of amigurumi from patterns of varying degrees of quality, but the concept of freehand crocheting with no pattern is still just an absolute mystery to me. Spatial reasoning is a real challenge for me and I just straight up can barely visualize anything, so I’m not really comfortable at all with the idea of just crocheting without any kind of plan or guide to make sure that things end up lining up… but I’d like to start at some point, since there’s some stuff I want to crochet that no one else seems to have ever made a pattern for!

I’m sure a lot of it is just trial and error, but like, what advice would you be able to offer for someone who’s comfortable crocheting from a pattern but who has noooo idea where to even start with freehand stuff, please and thank you?

Hi! Thanks!

At its most basic, a lot of amigurumi are the same kinds of shapes (ball and ovoid), and you can use patterns for separate parts to make a different whole. Frankenstein the pieces. For example, head shape from pattern A, legs from pattern B, body from pattern C, etc.

If you can't freehand, I recommend starting by 1) finding a pattern for whatever specific thing you want to make, 2) identifying the parts that you would want to change, 3) find a different pattern for anything that has parts that look like how you would want to change the previous, 4) crochet the specific parts that you need and put them together. For example, you find a Squirtle pattern that's mostly what you want, but you wish the tail or limbs were different, so you find a different Squirtle pattern with the kind of tail you want, and a random turtle plush that has the limbs you want. Crochet all those pieces.

Another thing that might help is if you look at the patterns you have and figure out why they increase/decrease in certain ways and how that is reflected in the finished product, so you can begin to recognize individual techniques for shaping.

More detailed explanation of how I personally freehand below the cut to help conceptualize the process.

For how I personally do it though, I take my reference picture, visualize each part separately, consider how each part would be constructed in the round, and then make them. Helps a lot more if you have a 3D model to reference to see the depth and whatnot, but I'm going to use flat images for this because they're easier to doodle on. Squirtle for example:

Head, 2 arms, 2 legs (slightly different from arms), body, tail.

I'm going to focus on designing small amigurumi since I don't make big ones and I couldn't give much advice on those.

Head would be broken up something like this, maybe not specifically 11 rows based on the actual finished size, but the idea being that you break it up this way. From the top/starting point, make concentric circles going down. In the image, note that I use curved lines and not straight lines to make each row around the same width.

With a quick overview, I know that my magic ring will be 6 single crochets in it as my personal preference, then the next 5ish or so rows will be a little bigger than the previous ones. Eyes will be somewhere in or on rows 4-6. The mouth will jut out near the start of the lower half of the head, and then the whole thing will decrease in size.

Note: Because this is 1) amigurumi, and 2) basically a small ball, you can generally go in increases of 6 (magic ring of 6 sc, 12, 18, 24, etc) when making rows bigger. You can repeat the same number of sc if you reach the widest part and want more length.

At some point (around row 7 or 8 in the ref image), the mouth juts out compared to the rest of the head. For that part, on that row, you could do a cluster of increases, next row(s) would be maintaining the same number of sc, then a cluster of decreases as you make the overall head shape smaller.

Again, I don't make big amigurumi, but I assume that it's the same principles if simply sizing up yarn/hook size. If staying at the same size yarn/hook, maybe imagine even more concentric circles and fewer dynamic changes between rows (like increasing by x stitches every other row instead of every row).

The body would be broken up something like this. It starts off in the whitespace where there is no actual body design showing, because in real life, that's where you would attach the head and it needs to have something there to attach to. One difference from the head is that the body gets wider faster, and then keeps widening a little bit for the middle rows. That means more increases in earlier rows to reach *almost* the widest part, then a small number of increases in following rows to the reach the actual widest part, then decreasing in reverse to how you increased. (row stitch number would be like a mirror 6 12 18 24 32 34 36 36 34 32 24 18 12 6).

Also there's a color change there so around the halfway point of each row you would switch color. Not the exact halfway point because crocheting in the round means the stitches and design slant, so you have to eyeball it or do some tricks for color changing at those spots to mitigate the effect. (I have another post where I talk about that that I'll link here later [link to color changing tips])

BUT actually since this is a shell, you could be a little more lax about switching from tan to brown and vice versa and just crochet a ring of white around the color change line. Or be even more extra and color change from tan to white to brown to white to tan and slip stitch a ring of white afterward between the tan/white change. Technically you could also imagine the rings going the other way with the shell on top so you'd only have to color change once.

The arms are going to be mostly tubular. Magic ring, increase for like 2 rows, maintain that size for a few rows since the width is pretty consistent for the majority of the arm, then decrease to a close and sc some nubby fingers on top afterward (literally something small just like a sc for each finger).

Legs I would work from the bottom because I like to make the feet by crocheting a chain then sc around that (so it can stand flat), increase to width of foot, decrease to ankle (which Squirtle doesn't really have much difference) increase again to general width of leg, maintain that for a few rows, close off. Assuming row 1 here is the width of foot, you would do uneven decreases to make row 2 with the ankle (bigger decreases at the toe part, no decreases around the heel). You could crochet little slip stitch nubs for toes at that part afterward.

Tail is actually just a long thin tube that you roll over itself afterward to make the squirrel-y design. However long you make it, roll it up, then use the yarn end that you would use for attaching to first go through and secure the tail to itself so it holds that shape.

Then it's a matter of pinning the parts to each other and sewing them together.

To summarize: Break down the whole design into distinct parts. Break down each distinct part as if it were made of stacking concentric circles. Crochet accordingly.

[marzbix-crystal]

[Image ID: A page of annotated and fully-coloured digital drawings featuring an interpretation of the character Apophyllite from Land of the Lustrous, on the right is a full body drawing of the character facing the right, they have grey-blue hair that reaches their chin with one side partially covering their face, they wear the winter uniform with a shirt, tie, puffy sleeves, flared shorts, and flat shoes with bows on them, they also wear white knee-socks and elbow-length gloves, In the lower centre is a headshot of Apophyllite looking towards the left with their hair obscuring their face, in the lower left is a stylized drawing of them with one hand on their hip and the other holding a broom, finally in the top left is an image of Apophyllite crystals, and a Manga screenshot depicting a Lunarian mentioning the gem, with a red circle and arrows pointing to the name. /End ID]. Annotations will be rewritten below

APOPHYLLITE She/Her Pronouns Mohs Hardness: 4.5 Nicknames: Phyll or Poppy The Fourth Elder Gem. She pulled everyone together when Kongo Sensei lost consciousness. She's a lovely gem, but very strict on how she runs things- she's always fussing the youngsters about their uniforms, sleeping quarters, and even their posture. Apophyllite is a jack of all trades, she can teach, fix broken gems, mend clothes, she can even make quality paper. But she prefers cleaning above all else- dirt and clutter beware!! Some stuff I didn't write on the drawing: She is the Head Cleaner, and while she has a team of cleaners to keep the school tidy all year-round, she begins rallying every gem to get things (mostly) spotless before winter hits.

[Image ID: A page of annotated and fully-coloured digital drawings featuring an interpretation of the character Pink Fluorite from Land of the Lustrous, on the right is a full body drawing of the character facing the right with their head turned to the left, they have long, sleek, reddish pink hair that hangs around their shoulders like a scarf with a strand of hair drooping from the top of their head, they wear a suit with a waistcoat, shirt, tie, rolled-up sleeves, trousers, and high-heeled shoes, In the lower centre is a stylized doodle of Pink Fluorite from the waist up, they have their hands on their hips and they have a disgusted expression on their face, the word "disgusted" is written in bold letters on their left, in the lower left is a bust drawing of the character facing the left while looking over their shoulder at the viewer, their hair is tied into a bun, finally in the top left is an image of a Pink Fluorite crystal, and a Manga screenshot depicting a strategy board where the character Phosphophyllite mentions them, a red circle and arrows point to the name. /End ID]. Annotations will be rewritten below PINK FLUORITE She/He Pronouns Mohs Hardness: 4 No Nicknames: Use their full name or refer to as "Sir" A total etiquette freak, far too strict to be a Mediator, but she still does her best to uphold the rules to the best of her ability. He was once the Delinquents' worst nightmare, but he started to mellow out a while ago. She had a weird one-sided rivalry with Labradorite, but she has mostly grown out of it. Mostly. Several-hundred years shy of Elder Gem status, but he still pulls the age card like it's a badge once in a while. She's weirdly agile for a gem that doesn't fight. He often ties his hair up into a bun, a very prim and proper gem. Some stuff I didn't write on the drawing: Pink Fluorite is actually quite elusive nowadays, he's usually holed up in the Library, making sure everything is in the right place. Despite her cold demeanour, she gives pretty good advice to those looking for it. --------------------

ALRIGHT OK ALRIGHT!!! I'm so happy with these I posted them together because I didn't want to just, idk bloat?? my profile?? I don't know how to say it but ANYWAY I realise these are a bit messy but I don't really mind it? I got my thoughts down and that is what matters. All three of these gems (Sphalerite, Apophyllite, and Pink Fluorite) looked VERY different to when I first thought about them, it's a shame I didn't draft those out, but I' so so happy with how they ended up. Although it's been very hard not to write "Pink Floyd" instead of Pink Fluorite I will be doing some proper art soon ish, I have several ideas, but not not all of them will be pretty rock related, so if you're tuned into my other blogs you can keep an eye out if you want :]

[fairuzfan]

It’s “vote blue no matter who” but then you get Dems like Kyrsten Sinema, Joe Manchin, and John Fetterman or people like Tricia Cotham and Jeff Van Drew who switched parties and then it’s every excuse in the book as to why Dems can’t get shit done and just “vote harder.”

Dems did know that embracing disenchanted conservatives would push the party further right, and that’s precisely why centrists and the upper middle class liberals were all so excited to join ranks with “never Trump” republicans.

The issue is that voting is great and all in theory. Some of my family is residing in a country where you can't vote so like, having a say in your government?! That's great!

But I don't *really* have a say in my government when all the standard forms of calling and emailing are being flat out ignored. Sure I voted. But now what. Fetterman is a racist asshole that pretended to be "on the side of the oppressed" to get his position. Sinema is.... like that. Manchin is annoying as hell. And what, you're telling me "just wait til next election and they'll be gone"? Like at what point will this endless spiral of "it could be worse" honestly start benefiting anyone.

And people are saying "join unions or organize" as some sort of gotcha... Palestinians have been organizing for 75 years. The whole reason people know so much about Palestine is because we've been organizing for YEARS, have been participating in the system for YEARS. Sure I can unionize. Sure I can organize. But when absolutely no one takes you seriously in your government?? Then what are you supposed to do??

I still am an advocate for voting locally, but I honestly don't see the point in voting higher than that. I remember a comment in the "can't vote out fascism" post was saying "actual physical fascism is worse than passive fascism" and I'm like.... yeah for you maybe? I'm disabled and I've been mostly in my house for the past 3 years because I want to avoid COVID at all costs. Disabled people around the states have as well. People have been dying well before the past couple of months. Are you saying you'd rather have silent deaths than loud ones?

And another comment that really annoyed me and felt severely disconnected from reality was "Trump's Foreign Policy is the same if not worse than Biden..." Worse than funding a genocide...? Like I hate Trump so much and would never vote for him. But I also won't ever vote for Biden.

Also something that "Vote Blue" people don't realize.... Biden's already lost. I'm not saying this to be smug or anything. Many Muslims and SWANA immigrants vote PRIMARILY based on foreign policy. Like that's one of our main concerns. Every single election, we consider which person would be "better" for people overseas — this isn't me projecting, we talk amongst ourselves about it to make a decision. And these people live in major cities and swing states like Michigan in Dearborn and Detroit. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Illinois turns red next election. Many Palestinian refugees after the Nakba and Naksa settled in Chicago and the greater Chicago area. I've heard that people hate Fetterman so much that they're not voting for him next election or wanting anything to do with democrats anymore. Dems have completely neglected the Muslim and SWANA community and that will come back to bite them in the butt.

Like at this point, you should be thinking of what to do when Trump becomes president lol. Actually think about it. Because honestly, you can yell at me all you want and call me stupid or an idiot for not voting/doing a write in — but I'm 10000% sure that Trump is going to win next election. What more are you going to do other than vote?

[bengaly]

Can you tell me more about Jiji and his species? I love their design!

Hello!! Yeah sure! Jiji is a meao-ixuí! They're those guys:

Jiji being the white one here:

Meao-ixuí are a species I'm revamping from some really old concepts I used to draw. I LOVED long eared, flat faced creatures and I made a thousand of them - some were their own species, some not. Heres some ideas from 2008/2009:

They're more recognisable as meaos in 2010:

Since they weren't really a single species but a set of features I enjoyed drawing, I never really wrapped them up as a single thing. So back last year 2019 or so I decided to turn those concepts I been drawing for over a decade into a species, the name being "meao" which is a silly way of writing "miau" (meow in portuguese) because thats what me and @mirtiloart called everything in our teens. So I'm kinda honouring my teenager self with that name. Theres more than one way to draw meaos - long and flat faced, and thats where the -ixuí suffix comes. Meao-ixuí are long faced ones, and meao-xatpan are flat faced ones. Heres a flat faced one from 2009 btw:

So! Their current design and lore isn't fully developed yet. I have thought a lot of little things about their culture and species, but its not a complete puzzle yet. I can for sure say so far is that they're from the tropics, are sentient, they're from a world with multiple sentient species and they're kinda the oddball there for being the only one around whos gynandropmorphic. They're marsupial-like, having pouches, and have some cool thylacoleo-like teeth:

This one is from 2019 and I've since then tuned the teeth a bit down but its still a fun way to draw it! (I've also noticed I didn't post this here which I will do after this ask) They're not very widespread in their world and often keep close to their traditional territories. Traveling around the world is a bit dangerous for them as certain things that are common in sentient communities is toxic to them - mostly things other species like to smoke so they can't really avoid it. Jiji travels as a nomad merchant with that yellow xoywren in the chibi picture, his name can be either Little Bee, Igutsak or Mayanga. Jiji is very skilled with weaving and embroidery, and since certain gatherings are dangerous for her health, its often Igutsak doing the negotiations. Personality wise, Jiji is a very chill meao. Shes often observing things in the background, but will jump in any conversation - invited or not - if she finds an opportunity for profit. Shes often the one giving ideas while Igutsak executes them. She and Igutsak adopt a human kid in their story (which is a very fun way to develop how different species deal with their offspring), and she was the one who noticed an abandoned baby hidden in a dense forest area. Igutsak is the one who nurses the kid, so heres again she being the brains while hes the action. Oh also, their world doesn't has currency. Negotiations are done by trading time, services and items. Jiji is often carrying a thousand things around in her basket backpack, which is what she is wearing in the chibi. Also the red markings on her are make-up! Meaos do that to protect bare skin areas from the sun, and also to look cool.

[sozzledjuja]

Pappy and The Staff: Thoughts on the Twins' Past

Following up on my previous post,

This scene in Lucky Star was super short and not that meaningful, but it was literally the ONLY time in the show where the twins mentioned something about their past or family (if you don't count the time Mephisto got hit in the head by a lobster crystal monster, and started asking "mommy" when they were going to the merry-go-round or whatever)

So they got a special powerful artifact in their family that is only passed down to the men. mmhh

Which could mean nothing, I know. Maybe it has nothing to do with misogyny, and it's simply a "harmless" family tradition. Maybe the female line in their family also has stuff they pass down, and this was just a regular Praxina moment because for once she couldn't have something her brother had. Which is a very sibling thing to do actually. Also, she was definetly jeaulous in this scene. And maybe a bit mad (hurt??) he didn't tell her about it.

Or maybe not. Who knows.

Plus, Mephisto rubbing salt in the wound, you gotta love him.

Still, this moment is definetly giving "Whoever Pappy was, he liked Mephisto better, and Prax is still bitter about it" vibes.

I think I heard somewhere that Pappy was their uncle (did he just visit sometimes?? did he live with them??? who knows) and if he has the staff, he's probably their mother's brother, or their father's older brother, who didn't have sons. That would make Mephisto the heir of the staff.

Totally unrelated to the original point of this post but that man was definetly the fun uncle (he was a court jester, c'mon) and he DEFINETLY preferred Mephisto over Praxina. Like, 1) the boy was gonna get the staff from him so it's obvious he would want to teach him and spend more time would him, 2) as a court jester, I'm assuming he preferred Mephisto's more bumbling personality, and 3) homegirl Praxina was not happy at all when Mephisto talked about the staff's origins, and she spoke about the man with a lot of disdain (mostly because of his position. which could also be her rejecting her family's "lower" or "unbecoming" status). also she was clearly jeaulous. So definetly not a big fan of him.

We know she's "always been an overachiever", as Mephisto put it in Home Pt1, while being yeeted into the stratosphere by Amaru, so i imagine she was already pretty good at magic when she was younger (good for her age, and better than Mephisto, at the time). And I headcanon she also wanted Pappy's approval at some point, and he... well- didn't care for her that much/as much as Mephisto.

To be fair, Praxina definetly strikes me as being that one child that works really hard to be impressive, but the adults around her are just like "Eh- that's nice. Anyways look at the other one who just did a cartweel and fell face flat into the concrete, omg awwwwww, so adorable and fun".

I don't think she was ever very "socially adept", I mean we saw Forget You!Praxina, and she was a social disaster. Maybe she didn't really know how to connect with people very well or people found her to be too abrasive or difficult to get along with, so she just- convinced herself she didn't need anyone else anyways.

Nothing too dramatic, but it can really shape a child.

And then Gramorr came along and their family went POOF somehow, and suddenly magical ability was all that mattered and not how "likable" or "sociable" you were, and it made her feel validated in a way. Maybe that's why she seems more interested in taking over Ephidea than Mephisto.

Maybe deep down she thinks that she's just naturally "unlikable", so it's easier to be "evil" on purpose, because then at least people have a reason to dislike her. She doesn't want to acknowledge the fear that if she did ever try to be nice, or to genuinely be herself without filters, she isn't sure she would ever good at it or accepted.

Or maybe this is just cause she gives me Azula vibes and I'm trying to project my Azula obssession onto her but whatever. MOMMY ISSUES. And UNCLE ISSUES. FUCK YEAH.

And the opposite goes for Mephisto, who Gramorr seems to have less patience for, despite him seemingly being at an even magical level with his sister.

Because while I think Praxina's struggles and insecurities come from a difficulty in forming connections, I think Mephisto's own issues also stem from comparing or being compared to her in terms of magical ability, cunning and ruthlessness. Which could've come from the parents (though we don't know anything about them or what the family dynamic was like while they were alive), or just one of them, or only started with Gramorr himself.

Honestly, the twins' backstory has got to be one of the most well kept secrets this show has.

Welp- that's it for today, i'm all out of brain power. Super interested to learn more about Ephidea and the twinss

[simplepotatofarmer]

saw your reply to the ask about black dog/rivals, so here's some questions! i'm not the person who sent the ask, but i have a bunch of questions anyways. sorry if you've answered them before

general:

what are their favorite forms of affection?

favorite plants, if any

who gets nightmares more (and how they help each other!!)

how do you think they'd react to the other betraying them

black dog:

(i haven't read that much of the stuff about your black dog au so sorry if some of this is just flat out wrong)

does anyone figure it out before techno

does punz know beforehand (assuming staged duo are still allies in this)

is...is there a grave for dream?? a pyre? a funeral? something of that nature??

do dream's former friends miss him at all. sapnap, george, anyone

does dream get any pets as laelaps

okay that's it

hope you are well! and good luck with nano!

(ps what does auhdh4auhdh mean? for a completely unrelated post. i know t4t is trans4trans but what does the acronym auhdh stand for. i have been wracking my brain to figure it out and....i just cant)

sorry this took so long for me to answer!! <3 <3

for general:

techno is pretty affectionate with his friends! he loves to hug them and sniff them and snorf them. he's a cuddle person. he loves to nap and hold onto his friends. he does try to play it cool sometimes but techno is a dork and he loves his friends. he loves to make grand gestures of gifts or declarations of friendship. dream isn't as obvious with affection. but he sometimes leans against techno or rests his head on techno's shoulder for a second. mostly though it's just the fact he's there and he'll always be there, y'know?

dandelions for techno, roses for dream!

dream. they're not very vivid, it's more like bits and pieces that makes it hard for him to sleep in the first place. he's a very light sleeper because of that. but the upside to having a large piglin friend is that he can basically act as a weighted blanket (phil also learned this, back in the day). having techno there helps.

this one is really hard for me because a main part of rivals duo is that they haven't betrayed each other. like, that is a key point. dream and techno both mention it, more than once. so if either of them ever did? i think it'd be a lot of complete denial. i think they'd try to come up with a reason as to why the other betrayed them. then techno would just. be sad. how did it end up like this? while dream would probably try to hide his sadness by saying he should've seen it coming.

okay, black dog questions!

techno is the first one to figure it out. he spends the most time around laelaps and he was also the one to spent the most time around dream out of all the people who are in consistent contact with laelaps.

punz doesn't know. that was kind of the whole point. no one knew dream wouldn't come back except dream. and dream wasn't planning on ever coming back. he wanted his death to be permanent but his limbo got to him after awhile.

there is! techno and punz bury him. only they know where it is. it's small. it doesn't have a name (they were afraid if anyone found it, they'd vandalize it). but it's there.

yeah, they do. but in the sense they've mourned him before this. to them, they've already lost him. they lost him before the prison, really. or at least during the prison arc.

he doesn't. or i'm not sure yet! but he's really focused on his job and he just doesn't have the time. i might give him something, though. i think he deserves to have a cat.

oh! and auhdh is just a shorthand way of saying that someone has both autism and adhd! both techno and dream canonically have adhd but i also headcanon them as being autistic. i just get that vibe from them!

[gyuluttony]

Focus

Heads up as this is a feederism fic and features weight gain, mutual gaining, breaking of clothes, and some smut. Don't like, don't read.

It wasn't really a surprise to the rest of the members when Mingyu insisted on sticking to Wonwoo after all of them moved out of the dorms. There was a little melancholy in the air following them all packing out of the space that they had called a home. A place where they shared everything was now going to be nothing more than a memory that grew more distant. But, it was going to be easier since he wasn't going to be on his own.

All of the group was aware of just how Mingyu attached himself to his hyung's side and they fully expected the way he gave into Mingyu's begging with a smile after pretending like he was going to say no. If anything, the rest of the members were happy that they decided to finally get this mushy energy out of their faces and contain themselves to one unit.

They had danced around the topic for years. Mostly because Mingyu seemed to be unaware that his pure dedication to Wonwoo was something more than a compulsion he felt for him but something so much more different. And Wonwoo... had a lot more complicated tastes than he was ready to admit.

It was one thing to have a crush on his groupmate. Any member would have disagreed saying crush because he was in love with the younger member. But, it was another thing to be in love with the idea of him being bigger.

Mingyu had filled out well from his awkward teenage years and put on an amazing amount of muscle. There was a shameful amount of times that Wonwoo used the photos fans took at concerts for some more enjoyment for himself. But, that wasn't the bigger he was thinking of.

The bigger that Wonwoo wanted to see was something that was complimented by Mingyu's ravenous appetite. When they would eat dinner together, he saw the way the other man shoveled down bowl after bowl into his mouth and packed each bite away, ready for more.

"It's fuel for my workout! That's how I got all these muscles after all!" Mingyu flexed for Wonwoo and it took a lot to not just admit how attracted he was. He watched as Mingyu patted his flat abdomen even with everything packed in as he looked at him, staring with thousands of emotions swirling behind his gaze.

"Make sure you eat too! I made sure to make your favourite."

One perk that Mingyu seemed to have was the fact that now that he lived with Wonwoo, he could make sure his eating habits weren't atrocious and he usually made sure he was eating a good amount each day. The first couple of months, it had taken a while to get used to but he was starting to get into the swing of it.

They had fallen into this trend of eating together, Wonwoo getting incredibly horny at Mingyu stuffing himself in front of him, and neither of them putting on weight. It was at times like this that Wonwoo cursed the idol lifestyle that they were in as it worked directly against the kink that was drilled into him for some godforsaken reason.

There was no reason for him to have a weight gain kink in a profession that requires people to be at their physical best.

However, there was a lull in their schedule for a couple of months. And Wonwoo nearly flipped the table in shock one morning while talking to Mingyu.

"You're still here? I thought you were at the gym around this time." A yawn left the older member as he sat on the couch next to Mingyu.

"I don't feel like it right now. We don't have anything coming up so I think I'm just going to relax for a little while."

Wonwoo knew better than to get his hopes up but then, in the following weeks, he noticed more things around their shared living space that were only feeding into his fantasy. Heavy cream replacing the skim milk in the dishes that Mingyu made, larger portion sizes and more plates as Mingyu settled into the table, seeing his roommate sit on the couch with a bag of some treat next to his side.

If he thought it was bad before, it was hard to not live without popping a boner at the sight of Mingyu passed out at 3AM, some random movie playing and his belly peeking out of his shirt.

Yes, gone was the defined abs that every one of their fans knew and loved because it had expanded out into a healthy tummy. Something that would press against the tighter shirts Mingyu liked to wear and Wonwoo felt his brain going smooth when he saw the way it lifted, revealing even more mass than the following days.

He tried to pay it no mind when he saw Mingyu's hand rubbing his belly after eating enough for about half of their group by himself. Mingyu groaned, a large burp leaving him before his gaze turned to the other man's plate, "Are you going to finish that?"

Wonwoo slid it over with a smile, "Enjoy it. You did really good on this dish." And every other meal that ended up in that growing body.

The company was letting them enjoy their free time and Mingyu was certainly doing just that. He tended to walk around their space shirtless so Wonwoo was gaming on the couch when he saw the way his roommate was jiggling with each step, gut now leading the way when he walked.

"Wonwoo hyung, do you want to buy some food? I don't feel like cooking tonight." Wonwoo gulped, using his peripheral vision to perceive the empty bags from earlier in the day as he pulled out his phone.

"Sure. What do you want?" Mingyu eagerly bounded over and it made Wonwoo close his eyes to catch his breath. The footsteps in the apartment were so heavy as he felt Mingyu plop down next to him, the couch dipping further than before and creaking at the pressure from the heavy idol.

Looking at him from the side, it was hard to believe that he ever had abs at this point. He was putting on weight at a breakneck pace and his gut was pressing comfortably into his lap. His thighs had exploded and filled out every pair of basketball shorts that he loved to wear and his ass was no slacker as it definitely got growth as well. Mingyu always had nice tits but now, it almost felt like obscene with how heavily they rested on his gut.

The order was massive. Something that was not nearly meant for two people. It was a lot for thirteen people as well. This would be something that they order for the group after a dance practice. But, Wonwoo managed to stay calm until the food got there. Watching Mingyu eat as if he hadn't eaten a day in his life was always one of the best sights for Wonwoo but seeing how much his gains had exploded in fat on his body definitely was making it even better.

When they were about to finish the meal, there was a popping sound and a metal object was heard clattering on the floor. Both of them stopped eating as Wonwoo looked at Mingyu, who was staring right back at him.

Looking at the pants the other man was wearing, Wonwoo was a little puzzled considering Mingyu was wearing sweats before he heard the other man speak up, "Wonwoo hyung, you've gotten big, haven't you?"

He felt his face heat up as his hand found his gut. Had he really gotten that massive and not realized it because he was focusing his attention into Mingyu? It's not like his eating habits weren't affected. He was the type to eat as long as there was food in front of him and considering the increasing portion sizes, there was always plenty.

His gut, easily his most prominent feature, was even pressing into the table and he didn't notice because he was too excited by Mingyu stuffing himself, not even realizing they were growing at the same pace basically. His hand moved under his belly, feeling the angry stretchmarks along the way before they became aware of the missing button and the fly of his jeans that went down.

Mingyu stood up and walked around the table, bracing his belly with one hand and making sure to stay balanced with the other. "I thought you would have noticed me getting bigger clothes for you... or how you play games with your controller on your belly now. I didn't think you were that into me gaining."

Wonwoo sputtered for a moment, "How did you- I didn't say anything-"

The smile that came from the heavy idol was sweet as if Wonwoo wasn't caught in a haze that lingered between horny and embarrassed, "Woozi told me."

Wonwoo was making a silent vow to fight that little guy and considering he had the weight advantage now, he was going to make sure that mouth stayed shut. Feeling Mingyu lean against him, his eyes widened at the puppy look Mingyu was giving him. "But, hyung, I didn't know getting big would feel this good."

Their guts were kissing each other as Wonwoo groaned in enjoyment and how stuffed he was. They had both gotten fat and Wonwoo hadn't even realized until he physically broke his pants. He felt himself grow hard and he felt Mingyu's erection on his gut, grinding it into him.

Grabbing some more pizza on the table, Mingyu's quiet whimpers of pleasure were silenced as Wonwoo shoved it into his mouth and watched him chew while he continued to pleasure himself off of Wonwoo's belly. Mingyu mirrored the action as Wonwoo moved himself to rut into his gut and Mingyu made sure his mouth was just as busy.

Their pace grew sloppier as they were reaching their limit and Wonwoo felt the way his shirt was stretched to its limits trying to contain his fat body. A glance at Mingyu, seeing his fat ripple as he tried to pleasure himself using Wonwoo's fattened body was enough to send him over the edge.

Considering he got this big with his focus on Mingyu, he was excited to see how much bigger they could both get now that he knew.

[bluemoonperegrine]

"The Out-of-Towners" Ch 3 WIP

Here's at least half of chapter three since I'm not sure when I'll get the rest finished. This is the entire initial scene, then it's off to find Stinky Hulk Ted.

Chapter Three: A Helping Hand

Layla peered up the rocky hillside, trying her best not to admire her best friend’s partner’s ass. It was difficult with Jack in the lead and crouching periodically to follow Captain June’s scent trail.

“Ahem,” Marc said.

Layla glanced to her left and found Marc grinning, which seemed to be his default now. It was a welcome change of pace.

Marc’s grin became a smile. “You’re not subtle, you know.”

Layla chuckled, and Marc joined her. “Can you blame me?”

“Not at all,” he replied while glancing at the rear end in question. Then Marc looked back to her with a smirk.

“Still not used to you being flirty,” Layla said while bumping his arm with her shoulder, “but it suits you. It’s good to see you happy.”

Marc smiled broadly, like Steven often did. “It’s good to be—”

“Whoa!” Jack shouted from ahead. He stood at the edge of a large, flat boulder looking down with his arms out to either side in warning. A quiet rattling noise carried to Layla’s ears. “Bri?” Jack called over his shoulder. “You’re up.”

As Layla and Marc moved closer, Bri and Robin shrugged off their packs and rummaged inside. Robin pulled out a small, woven grass basket with a matching lid. Bri produced a ziplock bag containing a glass jar with a rubber band securing a sheet of plastic over its mouth. 

“Look like he’s about to shed,” Jack said as he hopped off the boulder. A few feet in front of where he’d stood was a mottled, reddish snake that perfectly matched the rock. Like the sidewinders Layla had encountered in her travels, this snake’s rattle was hidden by its mostly coiled body. A forked tongue darted from its triangular head as it peered at Jack with milky eyes.

Bri moved closer with the glass jar in one hand, but didn’t climb on the boulder. “Yep,” they agreed. “I think she’s having trouble, poor thing.”

Layla heard Marc gulp beside her. “How can you tell it’s female?” he asked as Jack moved to his other side.

“She’s pregnant,” Bri said with a delighted smile. “Really gravid.”

Marc’s shiver prompted a chuckle from Layla and Jack. 

“I’ll protect you, bebé,” Jack said quietly.

A grin softened Marc’s eye roll. “No need, because I’m not getting anywhere near it.”

“Her,” corrected Bri, who’d crouched beside the boulder. The ruddy rattlesnake now in arm’s reach had most of their attention.

Robin stood a short distance behind her spouse with the basket tucked under one arm. She asked, “Need anything, hun?”

“I’m good,” Bri replied, keeping their eyes on the snake. Murmuring something Layla couldn’t make out, they inched their free hand toward the unhappy reptile.

Layla’s stomach clenched as Marc inhaled sharply.

“It’s okay,” Jack whispered. “Bri knows what they’re doing.” Grinning, he added, “Keep watching.”

The rattling stopped, and the snake moved toward Bri’s hand. After a few flicks of her tongue, she slid on to their open palm. 

Marc and Layla exchanged astonished looks as Bri smiled broadly, continuing to talk to the snake in an unfamiliar language. Their fingers closed around the snake’s tawny body. The rattlesnake must have welcomed the touch because she slowly slid through Bri’s hand. Dry, paper-thin skin sloughed off, revealing the snake’s rich tan, rose, and rusty hues.

“Mon dieu!” Layla breathed.

Bri, who hadn’t stopped smiling, said, “That must feel better, huh, girl?”

The rattlesnake twisted around and seemed to look right at them.

“She understands you?” Marc said in a near whisper.

Bri looked his way long enough to nod. “Yes,” they replied, moving their fingertips toward the snake’s head. “Snakes are my tonal animal.” Their smiled dimmed before continuing. “They’re not evil. They’re just like you and me.”

Robin snorted softly. “‘Just like,’ babe?”

Bri’s smile returned. “In a ‘doing our best to survive’ way, yes.” 

They switched back to the unfamiliar language as the short nail of their index finger caught something near the rattlesnake’s left eye. Layla felt her jaw drop as a hard, white covering pulled away from the snake’s eye. “There you go,” Bri crooned. “You can see better now.”

Again Marc shivered beside Layla. She glanced at her best friend, who was studying the rocky ground at his feet with Jack’s arm around his shoulders. He whispered something that Layla couldn’t make out, but Jack apparently could.

“Okay, bebé,” Jack said quietly. Then he grinned at Layla and said, “They’re eye caps, a normal part of shedding. She needed a little help.”

Layla smiled at Jack helping not-quite-snake-phobic Marc and from memories of the times she and Marc had helped each other. “Everyone does sometimes.”

Movement from Bri and Robin drew Layla’s attention. They handed the shedded skin to their wife, then held the covered jar near the snake’s head. The clear-eyed rattlesnake opened her mouth wide, pierced the plastic membrane with her fangs, and squirted venom inside.

Blinking at the sight, Layla said, “Voluntary venom donation. Impressive.”

“Humane, too,” Bri grinned. The rattlesnake pulled back, and Bri ran their fingers down its back. “Milking snakes is rough on them. It’s harder for them to hunt and defend themselves while their venom is replenishing. I asked her to give what she can spare.” Bri held the jar up and swirled the small amount of cloudy fluid at the bottom of it. “She gave a lot.”

They returned the jar to the ziplock bag and handed it to Robin. She put it in the grass basket, murmuring as she set the matching lid on top. 

Layla looked from Robin to Bri, who was watching the rattlesnake slither away, and back again. “You two have the same sort of magic?”

“Owl!” Marc blurted.

Layla frowned at him as Robin and Bri chuckled and Jack guffawed. Marc had said something about Jack being friends with an owl as well as crows, but didn’t see what that had to do with Bri’s tonal animal magic.

Robin grinned from ear to ear as she and her spouse zipped up their packs and donned them. “Yes. My tonal animal is the owl.”

Layla smiled with her, hoping that the two would share more about their magic. Marc, however, was trying not to stare at Bri and failing miserably. She lightly shoved her friend’s shoulder to get him to lighten up. “It’s not like they’re going to turn into a snake.”

Marc gulped again as Robin and Bri grinned and Jack sniggered. The werewolf leaned in close, saying, “I’ll protect you, bebé.”

Layla blinked at him, then turned to Bri and Robin.

The couple nodded.

Layla grinned at them, then at Jack and Marc. “Never a dull moment with you, Spector,” she teased. “Let’s find ourselves a hulk so we can get to campfire stories that much sooner.”

The round of chuckles she got in reply said they agreed.

[mistahgrundy]

Okay, so I'm effort posting about something that has been slightly bugging me, art-wise, for a bit here.

To preface this: I am not trying to make anyone feel bad, or judged, or attacked, this is just something I have observed, it felt wrong to me, I looked it up, it is wrong. If your response to my post is to be a jerk or mean or what have you, perhaps just… like… move on? Don't do that? I know in the art world we tend to get heated about stuff, but this is sincerely not something to get heated about. Disagreements and conversations A-OK, but being an asshole about it? Nah. Let's not.

I, too, am trying not to be an asshole about it. Let's just be cool, okay?

I'm talking about pupils!

Seems simple enough, little black dots inside of colored dots inside of eyes. A few years ago I started noticing people drawing them… strangely. As though the eye was a concave surface, and from the side the dot would appear to be nestled inside a little eye cup.

Have a quickly drawn example of what I've been seeing.

I've seen tutorials floating around that assert as such, and I took that at face value. Like a lot of tutorials you just accept it and move on, surely that person did the research? But… I'm not sure they did. Or maybe they misinterpretted something? I have no idea.

Here's the thing, the iris doesn't dip down inside your eye like that, The iris is mostly flat. There's a slight dipping inside right in the center where the pupil opens at the sphincter (lol) but's VERY slight cuz you know, it's not a hard edge, it's a rounded edge. It actually mounds up a little bit towards the center before dipping inside. There's a round (biconvex) lens behind it! But for the most part the iris is pretty flat.

Anyway, even IF it did cup inwardly like a little concave depression it still wouldn't appear concave from the side because of the cornea over the top of the iris and pupil. The cornea is a positive meniscus (convex/concave) lens filled with aqueous fluid. It has a magnifying effect. Think like a water drop on top of printed text. Or, if you have a pair of glasses (which are also [usually] convex/concave), the way that distorts things behind it. If you hold your glasses and look at them from the side you'll notice that anything behind them gets distorted and flattened out a bit. It takes the image behind it and fills the space with that image, in this case your iris.

(Sorry about how gross my glasses look up close, they're old the metal finishing whatever is starting to come off them, I need new ones)

Anyway, that's my treatise on why I think that tutorial about pupils was wrong. Feel free to disregard if you prefer the way it looks with the pupils all cattywhompus from the side, it is after all, just art… Realism ain't the end all be all, and all that. I just don't believe it is anatomically correct as I've seen people assert.

I took a photo of my own eye from the side. You'll notice the pupil is smack dab right in the center and not offset at all because of the distortion of the cornea.

[thewildchild13915]

Sibling grief is weird.

With sibling grief you're grieving more than just the loss of your sibling.

You're grieving the life you had before you lost your sibling.

You're grieving the loss of who your parents were before your sibling died

You're grieving the loss of the future you'd prepared for

You're grieving the loss of the family unit as you'd known it

You're grieving the loss of who you were before they died

You're grieving the loss of your best friend

Before my brother died, I had plans for how the future would be. Family holidays with our kids, major life events being celebrated together, family vacations, so many memories to be made.

All of those were lost when he died. An entire future full of plans just.... Gone.

Finished.

Now I'm only left with the haunting visions of watching him go, with the sounds of our parents sobbing and begging for this to not be happening, with hearing the love of his life begging for more time and promising to make the rest of his life everything we'd always dreamed for him, with remembering both the feeling of his warm hands AND the feeling of his lifeless, cold hands.

Before my brother died, our parents were mostly happy.

Parents change after the loss of a child, regardless of the age of said child. That change can go 1 of 2 ways and it is usually to the extreme of whichever way they go.

Way 1: they're going to be extremely clingy with their remaining child(ren). They will want them close.

Or

Way 2: they're going to become extremely distant with their remaining child (ren).

My mom quietly went with way 1. She tries to not show it, but I know it. She still has her moments where she's distant, but she won't even entrain the idea of us being far away from her. She wants all of us near her.

My dad went with way 2. I've always felt like my dad absolutely hated me. There was no proud father moment when I got married, no "you look beautiful" comments, or any heart touching moments really. It's always been he was there, but quietly wondering how quickly he could leave. Sure there were moments when he really came through and made me feel like he cared. I can't say there weren't ANY.

But after losing my brother, I feel like I completely lost my dad. He barely acknowledges I'm there, he flat out ignores me when I say "I love you", but he will say it to everyone around me, he doesn't even try to hide the fact that he does NOT want to be wherever I am. In my heart I feel that he believes the wrong child died and that it should've been me. I have never felt like more of a burden than I do now.

Before my brother died, my mom always told us "nurture your relationship with each other because when your dad and I are gone, you're only going to have each other". That was the future I'd prepared for. Now, when my parents are gone I will be alone. I'll have no one to grieve that loss with. Our future was supposed to be long and fruitful, with so many memories to be made... I was not prepared for the future I'm going to have.

Before my brother died, we were a family of 4. He was my big brother. Sure our family expanded as we got older. We had significant others and kids, but our family unit was 4. Now, it's only 3.

I'm no longer the little sister.

I'm the surviving sister.

Before my brother died, I was happy. Sure I dealt with some mental health issues, but he always helped to keep my grounded. He was who I called when I felt like I was losing my grip. He was my rock. He was my best friend. He always made sure I was ok, that his nieces and nephews were ok, that everyone had what they needed. He was my go-to person for everything.

I used to get so irritated because he'd always call me when bad weather was moving in. He'd give me all these instructions on things I needed to do to be prepared, he'd make sure I was making sure the kids had everything they needed.. it could be so exhausting sometimes.

God how I miss those phone calls.

Now that he's gone I find myself riddled with anxiety and anger. I have no idea who I am anymore because I do not feel like me anymore. I feel like a part of me went with him. The strong part went with him.

Now that he's gone I feel so alone, even with the rest of my family right beside me.

I try to grieve quietly. I try to do it alone as much as possible so that it doesn't make those around me sad.

Sibling grief is weird..

It's lonely

Unless you are the surviving sibling, you could never understand.