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convenientalias · 2 years ago

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Eve vs. City of Streamer--Who Wore It Better?

Since this year I happened to watch two shows that came out in 2022 about a woman seducing someone in order to avenge herself upon the person's family, I thought it would be fun to make some comparisons and see which show comes out on top. The two shows in question being:

Eve: A 16-episode kdrama. Contemporary thriller genre. The protagonist seduces the son-in-law of the family she's targeting with the aim of learning the family's secrets but also breaking her love interest's relationship with his wife (one of her primary revenge targets), hopefully resulting in a humiliating divorce and mental breakdown for both of them. Except then, oh no, she falls in love for real!

City of Streamer: A 40-episode cdrama. Republican era setting. The protagonist seduces the young master of the family she's targeting, mostly with the aim of maintaining her place in the family (which she joined as a tutor to the young master and the family's two daughters) so she can gather information on them as a spy for someone else who also is after revenge. Except then, oh no, she falls in love for real!

So right off the bat there are some similarities and some obvious differences. Further comparison will be under the cut bc there will be some spoilers ;)

Female Leads

So I'm giving ratings out of ten for each of these sections and I'll just say beforehand that Seo Ye-ji and Jing Tian are both perfect to me so there's no real competition here but the differences are still interesting.

Eve: Lee Ra-el is highly melodramatic. Her character single-handedly gives the show its kind of dark and sexy vibe. She is obsessed with revenge, loves (and needs) the tango, has self-destructive tendencies (including a tendency to self-harm, but also a general lack of self preservation instinct), and wants not only to destroy her targets financially but break their very souls. Kind of a disaster. Her love interests would like to protect her. Good luck with that, guys. I would like to say her soft spot is children but frankly I'm not even sure that's not an act on her part (and sometimes it pretty clearly is). Incredible fake smile. 10/10.

City of Streamer: The first word I associate with Feng Shizhen is "calm" and the second is "competent". Feng Shizhen wants revenge, but given that the incident she's avenging had a somewhat lesser impact on her life, she's pretty clear-headed about it and it's not the only thing she cares about. She still has a family, and sometimes gets invested in the lives and troubles of the Rong family too. Her revenge target is Rong Dingkun--well, also his business, but mostly just Rong Dingkun, head of the family she's infiltrated. She has an excellent poker face but can also play a pretty good wounded gazelle when called upon. Watching her, you have a sense of confidence she can solve whatever predicament she's landed in. Her love interests would probably like her to step on them and honestly same. 10/10.

Male Leads

No one here is going to live up to the female leads' energy but do they try??

Eve: Kang Yoon-kyeom is the most boring part of this show. Okay, I don't hate the guy. He's clearly in an abusive relationship with a controlling, manipulative, and homicidal woman. But you just don't get to see much emotional depth in him until towards the end of the show--until then it's kind of a "just trust me, he's deep" kind of situation. I have limits with how much stoicism I can enjoy. That said once he and Ra-el are together he does get more fun and I enjoy his eventual breakdown but not his ending. Since I'm only giving moderate spoilers here I won't get into that but seriously what the fuck. 4/10, I didn't hate him? I just think Ra-el has more chemistry with. Basically everyone.

City of Streamer: I actually expected to dislike Rong Jiashang based on prior experiences with the actor, but Rong Jiashang's actually pretty fun. It's all about the journey from stoic to simp in this kind of show and Jiashang really devolved pretty fast. That said, he has things going on outside his romantic life. He has conflicted feelings on his family and the family business and works to make changes based on his moral qualms. He loves his sisters. He has actual friends. He has dreams of becoming a pilot and collects model airplanes. Generally more of a three-dimensional human being than Kang Yoon-kyeom and a pretty good character. 7/10.

Did We Get Second Male Lead Syndrome?

Eve: Seo Eun-pyeong IS cooler than Kang Yoon-kyeom but that isn't really saying that much. He blocks a knife at one point! He tells Ra-el she can count on him! He's also a politician with possibilities of becoming the future president but the instant Ra-el shows up she is his Number One Priority, to the extent that he's willing to compromise all his idealistic politics (or at least put them on hold) for the sake of helping her with her revenge plans. I'm ambivalent on this--yes we love obsessive love but we also love a dude with other things going on. I honestly would have preferred if Eun-pyeong's attraction to Ra-el remained ambiguous or if they stayed platonic tbh, bc they met when she was still a teenager and I kind of preferred his initial protective and almost parental vibe towards her. Like he once watched her dancing the tango and the music playing in the background was just kind of heartwarming and calm. That's the unsexy relationship I was enjoying between the two of them but I wouldn't be against shipping them except that being the case I would prefer her to actually like him back. His unrequited love does very little for me. 6/10 I still liked the dude but I wanted either "selfless protective (possibly platonic) love" or "actual relationship" from them and it's not what I got.

City of Streamer: Meng Xu'an is UNHINGED. A complete delight. When you first meet him, you're like, "huh this dude is kind of shady, but he's Feng Shizhen's boss so of course he must be working for the greater good." Later on you're like, "Oh hm. His methods can be a little immoral and he seems VERY smug about the chaos going down here (which is also affecting innocents) but it DOES look sexy on him and there's no serious harm done so?? good for him I guess." and slowly you roll downhill towards the realization that this man is absolutely down for murdering innocents if it will help him achieve his revenge plans and is much more deeply invested in this revenge than our actual protagonist, and you know what? It's still sexy. Did I ship him with Feng Shizhen? Yes and no. They have a great vibe and yes it is hot when they scheme together AND when they yell at each other and throw things but I have a hard time seeing Feng Shizhen be into him. But in a sense that doesn't matter. The important thing is I liked what I got. 10/10, this dude drives at least half the action of the whole show.

The Central ~Seduction~ Dynamic

Eve: High melodrama to match Ra-el's melodramatic energy. Ra-el's INITIAL APPROACH is contriving to have Yoon-kyeom accidentally see her and her husband (yes, there's a lot of infidelity in this show) having sex in a dressing room. Then she tells him they must be "twin flames", something akin to soulmates/fated lovers. It's all very intense but I have a hard time buying it bc her tactics are so blunt and forceful all the time; it's not surprising Yoon-kyeom is initially suspicious. Equally I have a hard time buying that Ra-el would actually fall in love with Yoon-kyeom bc behind all that passion, where's a core of honest affection? The show offers a couple moments of ~vulnerability~ between the two, but... Idk. 4/10.

City of Streamer: Feng Shizhen doesn't initially plan to seduce Rong Jiashang at all; it's mostly something she stumbles into in order to keep him under control while she does her spywork, and then uses so that she can keep his love for her as her in with the Rong family. Her tactics are very bait-and-switch. First she'll praise Jiashang's skills as his tutor and offer him some very hands-on lessons, and then she'll go cold and say there's nothing between them if he tries to approach their mutual attraction directly. I have an easy time believing Jiashang would fall for it, and I can also believe she would fall for him, mostly bc he's actually a pretty nice and likeable guy. But sometimes she can go a little far--while Ra-el will declare love at first sight, Feng Shizhen strings Rong Jiashang along for so long it can get very frustrating. 7/10.

My ratings for these relationships are almost the same as my feelings on the male leads, I guess!

Fashion

It's important to look good while getting revenge. You have to look good while your enemies are suffering, basically. At least that's how I feel about it.

Eve: Impeccable. Ra-el in particular is just look after look. Showing up at her enemy's daughter's birthday party in a dress that looks like a green rose. Wearing a simple black and white suit during some final confrontations as the truth boils closer to the surface. Never going anywhere without stiletto heels. Ra-el's fashion is part of her mask, part of what allows her to infiltrate high society and entrance those in it--not only Yoon-kyeom but Han So-ra as well, and many others. 10/10.

City of Streamer: The fashion is very generic. I try to remember outfits from this show and I can't. I just looked at a bunch of pictures from it and my main takeaway was, I can see why I forgot them. Lots of solids, lots of simple dresses. They suit Feng Shizhen's calm and simple image but they do not appeal. Now, Republican era fashion is not my favorite in general but I've watched shows set in this era that still had some memorable outfits. Winter Begonia has most of its characters in generic suits but the MCs still had their own distinctive look--Shang Xirui's being uniformly bland to contrast his look on stage, Cheng Fengtai's distinguished with a little flamboyance. Granting You a Dreamlike Life has Luo Fusheng, whose outfits are all over the place but always enjoyable and noticeable. City of Streamer just is not doing it for me. 2/10. I tried looking at Meng Xu'an's outfits bc I figured they might be more interesting and they're basically just suits :( Two points bc I do like the hair. If you want to see Jing Tian in a show with showier and more interesting fashion, watch Rattan.

Homoeroticism

It's all very well to have sexual tension with the guy you're seducing but what about having homoerotic tension with some random other character???? I think we have to keep this in mind.

Eve: I loved Ra-el and So-ra's dynamic. It's terrible, of course. It starts out with a kind of high society mean girl and henchwoman dynamic that would be catnip to me already and eventually transitions into archnemeses-going-off-the-deep-end territory. Deceptive friendship to blatant, outright loathing. I need more f/f ships like this in my media. 10/10, I only wish Ra-el had actually seduced So-ra instead of Yoon-kyeom but I guess that would just be a different story entirely.

City of Streamer: I'm gonna be real with you, guys, there is not much here. Feng Shizhen does have some nice friendships with various women, especially one woman who she helps escape the Rong household early in the show, but... there's no real tension there imo. There are two other female characters I love in this show (one being Jiashang's fiancee, the other being one of Rong Dingkun's concubines), and neither really gets to know Shizhen--their primary relationships are also with men. I don't really see any great m/m ships here either tbh. Personally I would OT3 Shizhen/Jiashang/Xu'an, but there's no real basis for this, I just think the chaos would be interesting. 2/10, I can imagine it but there's nothing really there.

DID THEY GET REVENGE THOUGH?

The most important question.

Eve: Yes. Can't say they didn't. I do wish the court case that the show built up to had been more important but it played its role, and the mind games playing a larger role in the final denouement makes sense given the kind of overall game Ra-el is playing. 9/10 for revenge bc I personally wish the fallout had been different but it was very revengey.

City of Streamer: Yes? At various points? Feng Shizhen's revenge contributions are at their peak in the first half of the show, I'd say. From there the conflict is driven by other players, while Feng Shizhen's plotline focuses more on the question of whether she and Rong Jiashang could ever be together. Towards the end she steps back into the game, but never quite with the same clear focus, and ultimately, the ending feels a bit random. Still more revenge than many revenge dramas have offered me though. 7/10.

THE GRAND TOTAL:

Eve: 53

City of Streamer: 45

In the end, Eve wins with the power of homoeroticism and fashion! I personally liked City of Streamer better overall and am now wondering if I should have weighted the various categories differently but oh well! It's all part of the game! If we knew how it would end, what would be the point of playing it! Eve really did wear revenge seduction drama better but I do recommend both because they both were really good!

#review #eve kdrama #city of streamer #lols

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mewberii · 4 years ago

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Streamer!Scaramouche [2]

thanks for all the support in the first part! i wrote a second part where scaramouche plays genshin + the reader comes in (i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible, so let me know if there’s something off!). you’re a close friend of scaramouche and also a voice actor!

i had been planning this since i wrote the first part, but because i was busy and uninspired i couldn’t finish it. but here it is and it’s actually pretty long (over 5k words...)! i hope you guys will like this!! obviously he’s a little nicer than he is in game but,,, for the sake of the plot + it being a modern au, it had to be done sjnfdskjf

He was selected to play the beta for genshin because of his popularity and tbh he really wanted to play it

The game hadn’t really caught his eye all that much when he first heard about it but he saw how everyone online went crazy over it (plus other streamers who also were selected to play it in early access kept talking about it) and he became more curious to know what it would be like and if it’d live to everyone’s expectations

However he couldn’t really play it until it was officially released because he had a very busy schedule, and when he saw other streams of people playing it he was,,, lowkey jealous because it did look fun

When it was finally released and the game finished downloading and installing, he went live right away

And since so many people were looking forward to seeing him play plus the game was getting so popular so fast, that stream of when he first played hit his biggest milestone of live viewers ever

ANYWAYS skip forward to further into the game

when it comes to the gacha,,,

we’ve established that this boy is loaded. he won’t hesitate to throw some big amounts of money at the game to get every single character and weapon he wants and get their constellations to the max

i feel like he’d make little bets (and it works as a way to thank the chat for the support) like “if i get (insert newest character) in the first 50 pulls, i will gift 50 subs”

he’d be SOOOOOOO LUCKY it’d make everyone who doesn’t play think that it must be very easy to get the 5 stars or that the drop rate must be very high,,,

so in the end he’d have to gift the subs and it’d be funny to see the chat go absolutely crazy because everyone is commenting at the same time trying to see if they got lucky too and got the sub

but the chat goes so fast that they can’t even see their own comment after they send it sNDJGDJSK

he’d end up turning subs mode on for a while because it goes crazy

and that’s when he’d see people going “I GOT THE SUB-” all excited and he can’t help but chuckle and congratulate them for being one of the lucky ones

probably another game he can use to play with some subs once in a while! they could play co-op and when he’s a very high level he’d go to the worlds of some of his subs with lower level to help them with whatever they need

SO, LITTLE SKIP HERE

this is where i want the reader to slide into the picture

you’d be a voice actor, and also you have been a friend of his for a very long time

he met you even before he started streaming and you were always so supportive of him, as he was of every and each of your dreams

in fact, he would have invited you over more than once to stream with him

people don’t say anything bc they’re afraid of scaramouche banning them (it’s happened before) + they understand it can be disrespectful... but…

some people lowkey ship you two a little bit,,,,,, you didn’t hear it from me. scaramouche don’t ban me----

so one day he’s making another livestream playing genshin (sponsored by mihoyo to promote the newest update and event) and they’re going to release a new character

AND he has told everyone that you are the voice actor of the new character, who will be introduced in the event and is also getting their own banner

so everyone is very curious of what they’ll be like, if scaramouche will try to get them (obviously he will, he has every single character…. the amount of money he has put into the game…. just thinking of it gives me the heebie-jeebies)

could he even,,, main them,,,,

spoiler: he won’t because he’ll stay honest till the end (and no hard feelings) but there are other characters that he has built up to the max just like them and still work better with the way he plays but he’ll still find a chance to use them often

he didn’t know anything of what the character you voiced would be like because you wanted to keep it a surprise and he knew his audience would enjoy seeing his first reactions

I think the character you voice in the game would have the role that Scaramouche has in the actual game, and their design would be fairly similar (maybe similar color palette) to the design fans made for him as a genshin character (the one i mentioned that he uses for popup notifs of subscriptions and all!)

needless to say he’d absolutely love their personality and the charisma you showed in their lines

of course when he finally gets them he shows everything about them including all their voice lines and he compliments y/n’s voice acting… that was the first time people suspected that....

mayhaps… scaramouche….

has feelings for you....

it’s in the soft gaze in his eyes,,, the gentle smile on his lips,,, his soft voice when saying “I think this one is my favorite line of theirs”

and just how BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL his laugh sounds when someone comments he should invite you and ask you to do that voiceline live for him and everyone else

he’d jokingly reach for his phone and be like “should i call them? i could”

(but he wouldn’t because he doesn’t want to disturb you, you may be busy, considering you still hadn’t replied to the messages he sent to you before he started the stream a few hours ago)

if anyone dares be mean to you saying you got the chance to voice act for genshin just bc of scaramouche

or implies that he did something to get you there he’ll get quite mad even tho he won’t speak up about it (he might if enough people say it)

people can see something shift in his gaze,,,, and he bans them permanently right away

it’d be kinda funny when he does those “reading unban requests” streams and he goes past immediately rejecting people who said those kind of stuff, not even reading the apologies JSNKJFNDSJKGNSDK

some people say he’s too strict about it but literally his stream his rules. people who don’t like him should just not watch him

and people who like him should NOT speak badly about you or doubt your talent and effort, which is what brought you that opportunity in the first place

one day he’d be streaming playing the game, he had been using your character and gathering materials to get their last ascension

and at one point he’d grab his phone and look at the screen for a second before putting it back down and saying he had planned something else for tonight besides playing genshin for a while

then, the doorbell would ring (before he could even close the game-) and it’d be heard from his setup room so people in the chat heard it and they’re all like???

it’s definitely not takeout because scaramouche never orders takeout when he’s on his own, he usually cooks for himself and just orders it when he’s with friends and they all feel like eating something different

actually, offtopic, but i have a feeling he’d be very responsible when it comes to food and like he’d cook himself proper meals all perfectly balanced and all- he could afford having someone cook for him but his house = his privacy and personal space so he’d rather do it himself

it’s like, past 10pm, so no way it would be a package or mail at that time

and then he says “we have a visitor tonight”

and then the chat goes crazy saying “CHILDE” “HARBINGERS” but mostly “Y/N!??!?/PLEASE LET IT BE Y/N”

AND IT WAS YOU!!!!

and omg you brought takeout--------

it had been a while since they had seen you in scaramouche’s stream and you didn’t have your own channel (even though there were many people who encouraged you to open one)

SO everyone was very excited

i feel like scaramouche wouldn’t be the biggest fan of eating on camera so you guys would put the food away so that you can eat it later on your own without an audience

and you two would just spend a while talking to the chat, watching videos

AND reviewing fanart and fanmade content together!! it’d be so cute especially fanarts of the two of you together, little animatics or comics of funny clips or memes from his streams of you two,,,

someone made a little felt plushie of the genshin character you voiced and the way you COOED because it was SO cute

only those who were truly paying attention were able to notice the soft smile on scaramouche’s lips and the way he looked at you as you gushed over how cute the little plushie is and how talented the person who made it is!!

also you’d tell him you saw signora make a stream where she talked to some of her fans on discord individually to give them advice on their life/problems (nothing too serious) and it was very funny and you wanted to do that with him someday

and he’s like “that… could be a huge mess. people could say some crazy stuff” and you’re like “NO but i talked to her about it and she said she got her mods to talk to them first and approve them before they moved them up to the channel where she was to talk to her”

and he’s like “still…….. what if people lie and then when they get to talk to us they say something-”

and you’re like “BOY!!!! DO YOU NOT TRUST YOUR FANS *GASP*” and everyone in the chat is also going “GASP” “HE DOESN’T TRUST US…” “IS THIS YOUR IDOL…..?” “SAY SORRY” (all good fun, obviously he’d love to talk to everyone if he could make sure there won’t be anything disrespectful said)

SO!!!!! you two say you’ll plan to do something like that soon and everyone is very excited, they can already tell it’ll be both super cute and hilarious

before he ends the stream, you two watch some videos together

some are about some upcoming videogames and he talks about them and what he knows and explaining things to you... he is.. so knowledgeable…

the way you look at him as he goes into a little rant about it… cinematic parallels with the way he looked at you before

ONCE AGAIN, people aren’t blind. they notice. but they keep it to themselves bc scary scara (the way i had to resist overusing this one joke with his name-)

so the stream ends and you two walk out of the setup room to go to his living room and eat the takeout you brought while watching something on tv

he apologises because the food is cold now, but you brush it off saying it’s ok, you had missed being on his streams and you two can just heat up the food again

he doesn’t look at you in the eyes as he mutters that you know you can join his streams whenever, and instead just says it as he makes his way to the kitchen to heat the food

you join him in the kitchen soon after and tell him you also bought something for dessert and put it in the fridge already before

and honestly he didn’t know how much he wanted to eat that dessert until it was in his fridge, so he can’t stop himself from sighing and saying “god, i love you”

there’s silence for a second, right as the microwave beeps as it finished heating the food

it feels eternal to him, but you immediately started laughing and said jokingly “of course you do! you’re welcome!”

he’s happy you took it as a joke because that’s not how he planned to confess (he didn’t plan to confess anytime soon in the first place) but at the same time ?? he’s lowkey offended inside because? you took it as a joke?? is it so unrealistic that you wouldn’t even think that he meant it romantically?

it’s at that moment that he realises that if he didn’t want to confess before, now he does.

he wouldn’t want anyone to know about how he let that slip because he’s sure no one in you two’s friend group even knows he likes you

but you,,, actually,,,,, were actually caught off guard too because scaramouche wasn’t precisely one for words of affection and he showed his care for everyone with his actions

in fact, you had never heard him say those words before but well- it was kinda nice- if only he meant it as you feel it- but he couldn’t, right? who’d confess their feelings so casually while looking at a dessert in the fridge with desire-------

that night, it gets pretty late and to be honest he’s a little too tired to drive you home as he usually would, so he asks if you’d like to sleep over

it wouldn’t be your first time doing so, not even the first time you stayed unplanned, and he had a couple guest rooms that you could use so you accepted

also, staying for longer meant you could keep watching some more of that series with him without worrying about it getting late

or,,,

“actually” you said in a low voice, almost a whisper, since it was getting late and you two had been in complete silence while watching the series “i lowkey still wanted to stream some more”

he scoffs but then lets out a short chuckle, replying in the same volume

“it’s past 2am, who’s going to watch me stream now?”

“i would” have mercy for his poor heart- “but i’d be the streamer too this time so it doesn’t count”

“what even would we do”

“can we play that co-op game you played with childe? it was so much fun”

had you not brought it up, he wouldn’t have offered that ever because? if he had recently played it with childe he didn’t want to stream it again and make it feel repetitive for his audience

(jokes on him because when genshin came out they put up with it being the only thing he streamed for over a week. they’d rewatch any game if it’s you two playing it)

but to be honest, he didn’t really want to stream anymore that day and just wanted to be with you, just you and no one else

he got up from the couch and walked towards the hallway, making you look up to him in confusion for a second, but then started getting excited knowing this meant he was going to let you play it with him

“i don’t really feel like streaming anymore today, but we can still play it. let’s go”

the next day, you two wake up around the same time and make breakfast together

scaramouche i feel is not very talkative in the mornings

in fact, i feel like he’s just not the most talkative in general. he’s more the type to listen, but it’s different during his streams because he’s doing what he loves and talking about what he loves

and when it comes to you and he talks more it’s because he’s talking to who he loves----

before you’re going to leave and you’re standing at the door about to say goodbye to him, he suddenly speaks up before you can

“do you want to go somewhere tomorrow?”

you raise your eyebrows in curiosity from the sudden request, but then smile at him and nod

“yeah sure! what do you have in min-”

“it’s a date” he said, interrupting you, which was weird enough of him (since he would never interrupt you), but his words were even weirder-

“h-huh?” you felt the heat rising to your cheeks, and scaramouche just repeated his words

on the outside, he looked so casual and just, confident- bUT INSIDE he was actually panicking a little bit

but just a little bit.

After a moment, you smiled at him again, this time somewhat more shily but also excited for your date!

“I look forward to it”

Just with that, you two knew you had made the first step

You weren’t just friends anymore

You two had hung out on your own many times before, in fact and as it was mentioned before, you two had even slept over at his house or yours many times before

but it had all always been purely platonic, and you guys had never even questioned that aspect of it even after realising you had romantic feelings for each other

he’d spend the rest of the day thinking of what you could do the next day, as if he hadn’t been brainstorming for ideas all night either

i feel like he hasn’t gone in many (if not any--) dates before

solely because he has never been interested in romance plus he had never liked someone or at least, not as much as he liked you

and even when he found out he felt something for you, he just always told himself he was okay with how things were, because he’d never experienced anything beyond friendship and didn’t feel the need to try and maybe ruin the friendship

SO he didn’t have many ideas of what a good date could be

he definitely didn’t want a cliché corny date, but he really didn’t have any idea of what was good enough for a date

(and if for future dates you want something he’d consider a “”cliché corny date”” he’d do it for you and actually enjoy it)

the last thing he wanted was to have to ask you what you could do for your date

1- because he didn’t want to show you any side of him that didn’t look like he always has everything under control and he’s always composed (as if you wouldn’t want to see every side of him, even his most vulnerable sides- you’d have to work on that with him when you two become official)

2- he… kind of wanted to surprise you…..

but it really got to the point where he really didn’t know what you’d like the most (or what he’d like the most too) and what he wanted most over anything else is to not disappoint you in you two’s first date

SO he finally texted you asking if there was anything special you wanted to do (and therefore indirectly admitting he……….. just really wanted to ask you out. so much he did it without thinking of what he’d do if you said yes--)

you didn’t seem to mind, and in fact you were happy he asked for your opinion

overall, scaramouche was very independent so he wasn’t one to ask others for advice, opinions or anything, much less for help regarding anything

“how long has it been since we last went to the arcade? we could go there! i heard from childe that they added new games!”

and he’s like !?!?!?? THAT…. is…….. the perfect idea

“that actually sounds perfect” he admitted, and the message brought a big smile to your face

“just don’t get mad at me when you lose at all of them” he sent right after, teasing you, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh out loud

“the last time i won in your favorite game” you reminded him, and even after he read your message, he took a little bit to reply

(he needed a second to put the pieces of his pride together SJNFKJDS)

“don’t get used to it, it won’t happen again”

“we will see about that” the more you two joked like this, the more excited you got thinking about tomorrow

scaramouche was sure now that it’d be a great first date that you’d both remember forever

the next day, it was almost the time for the date and scaramouche was going to pick you up at your house

i feel like scaramouche would be very fashionable and even in his style he doesn’t try to hide that he’s loaded…

not that he cares about buying cheap clothes, literally he’d say if he likes it and it’s good (aka it’s not cheap because it’s made of something that won’t make it last longer than 3 weeks) he’ll get it

but it just so happens that many times… the clothes he likes most are from famous brands…

AND THIS DAY!!!!!! he’s putting together one of his favorite outfits because it’s a special day

it almost hurts me just how nonchalant he’d look on the outside, making it a little hard to know exactly just how much this date meant to him (because as i said he’s not one to be very vocal about his feelings or even his thoughts)

BUT i trust that you… since you know him well…. can see past all that and you know that this is not just anything casual to him. this is special.

STILL!!!! he’d try his best to not let the blush rise to his cheeks and show, as well as to not let his voice shake when he complimented that you looked very good

ANYWAYS i think i think Scaramouche wouldn’t be one for big pda

the most he’d do where anyone can see is hold your hand or put his arm around your waist

WHICH IS WHY he’d try to be all smooth (and he would manage) reaching for your hand and lacing his fingers with yours

he wouldn’t make eye contact because then he’s sure it’ll show on his face that he’s getting somewhat flustered, but he’d still ask if you’re okay with it, to which you said yes

the area where the arcade was is always somewhat crowded so when you two were getting there, scaramouche would tighten the grip on your hand a little bit to make sure you wouldn’t let go and you’d be pulled apart by people trying to walk past however they can

you know that if you two got serious about your relationship, he would want to be the first person to share the news with his fans

BUT since he was so popular now, you two lived in a pretty big city and now were at a popular area (+ scaramouche wouldn’t be the type to try and hide his identity because he’s never had people make a fuss when they recognise him)

you were a little worried someone would see you two and maybe take a picture and post it online and it’d go viral before he can admit it himself

because of that, you end up throwing back to him the question he had asked when he held your hand

“are you sure this is okay?”

your question confused him because he didn’t know what you mean, so he finally looked you in the eyes and waited for you to explain further

“it’s just- what if somebody sees us and recognises you?”

he looked away from you and back at where he was going, taking a few seconds to answer before he just shrugged

“i don’t care”

you softly let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you waited for him to say something, and almost missed the way he whispered

“as long as it doesn’t affect you”

for someone who seemed and actually tried to seem to self-sufficient, who appreciated his friends but was also okay on his own because he was absolutely comfortable with himself, he was actually…

more selfless than people would ever know, especially when it came to you

you two would have SO much fun in the arcade, trying every single game many times

this time though, scaramouche won in his favorite game so he lived up to his words

you two won so many tickets you literally didn’t even know what to do with them once you got the couple prizes you were interested in

you bumped into a couple fans of his, so you talked for a while

once again, you were met with suggestions of opening your own streaming channel, and even scaramouche said “i’ve told them that many times too, but they always say they think their streams won’t be fun enough”

and the fans are like “NO!! literally everyone thinks you’re super nice and fun!! of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but we’d love it!!”

one of the fans (exaggerating a little as a joke) said “i’ll be your number 1 fan i swear” and the three of you laughed, except scaramouche who just scoffed and smirked

“i am ALREADY their number one fan. but good try” <- scaramouche in his head. say it outloud u coward.

but at the same time it was a joke scaramouche chill pretty much everyone knows you’re their number one fan……. even though you think you’re so smooth………. they just don’t say anything

they were very nice and fun to talk to and you knew scaramouche and you didn’t really want anything else from the prizes, so you offered you two’s tickets to them

“we don’t really need these anymore so maybe you’ll have more use for them!!”

they got SO excited, the way their eyes lit up :( scaramouche is convinced you’re an angel but he’s also very happy to see how joyful his fans got because those were more than enough for the prize they really wanted-

so after that cute little interaction and having used up your energy for competition, you two leave and think of buying some ice cream or a milkshake or something to end the date nicely and to enjoy while you walk back home

the arcade was not exactly very close to where you two lived (it was far from your house, but even farther from his-) so he asked if you were okay with walking back or if you two should get an uber or something, to which you said you were okay

walking back with him meant!! a little more time you could spend with him

and he was happy you said that because he was feeling the same way and still didn’t want the day to end

we’ll see more about the kind of things he likes and dislikes if he’s released as a playing character BUT FOR NOW i really get this vibe that he’d LOVE boba tea

i even think he’d?? enjoy tea in general??? classy boy…

SO you two would end up going to get some boba

it was very touching how, when reading the flavors they had that day, he suddenly and casually went “oh, they have your favorite” and you looked at the one he was pointing at and !!! indeed it was your favorite!!!!!!!

he remembers this kind of details very well

you take the chance to talk some more as you’re walking home

scaramouche asks about your job with voice acting and you tell him that you actually have been recording some new lines for your genshin character lately because in the next update there’ll be an event involving them

he’s looking forward to it but he teases you a little asking if it’s okay for you to spoil him with such information

but it’s okay because it’s not like he’d tell anyone, especially knowing it could get you in trouble

when he drops you off at your house, he has a hard time saying goodbye

literally you’re standing at your door and he’s in front of you, a couple steps away, looking away from you

you don’t say goodbye either, mainly because you know scaramouche is working the courage to say something, and you can also sort of guess what he wants to say

you think of saying it first, but then think that it would make scaramouche proud to be honest about his feelings and confess first

“i’ve liked you for a long time”

you can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your face, unconsciously reaching a hand up to slightly cover it

“i feel the same way” you replied to him in a soft voice

he took a deep breath and exhaled it softly, finally lifting up his gaze and making eye contact with you

it was already dark outside, so you couldn’t appreciate the faint rosy blush on his cheeks well

“can i kiss you?”

your eyes widened for a second, not expecting him to ask and if anything, thinking he’d just step forward and do it

so you were a little embarrassed and caught off-guard to reply properly, so you just nodded and put your hand down as he took the last couple steps and his face was right in front of yours

he’d cup your cheek in one of his hands, feeling the warmth of your skin

you closed your eyes, and he looked at you for a second longer before he finally leaned in and closed the short distance that separated your lips

at that moment you both knew that you had been missing on so much more when you two just settled and were content with your friendship

but!! that was about to change now, so it was all worth it

after that, scaramouche would make clear that this would be the first day of your relationship!! and even if he didn’t say it with words, you could just feel his happiness!!

so!! after that, because of work you two got a little busy the next couple months so dates weren’t very frequent

or at least, they weren’t dates like the one you first had

but still whenever you two were free he’d go over to your house, or you’d come over to his to play, stream together, or literally just spend time together doing anything

he wouldn’t let people know you two had started dating straight away (if anything, only his other streamer friends -aka you two’s friends in common- knew)

but the day he said it, he wanted you to be there

SO one day you two were streaming and you were currently reacting to one fanart of you two together

so he looked at you and you made eye contact and it was like you two spoke with your eyes like

“do we tell them now”

“let’s tell them.”

so scaramouche would clear his throat and without closing the fanart, he’d say he has something he wanted to announce

everyone was excited thinking it’d be some new project, maybe involving you

maybe some merch??? and the fanarts had reminded him of it???????

BUT THEN he straightforwardly said

“y/n and i are dating”

and everyone goes aBSOLUTELY CRAZY

amidst the chaos, you two catch a comment saying “will you unban the people who shipped you two” and you laugh

and you look at each other like “did you read that one?” “yeah”

and scaramouche is like “yeah, i guess i will have to unban some people”

and when some get unbanned they’re like “fREEDOM!!!!”

and jokingly they’re all like “APOLOGISE!!!!!!!! SAY SORRY!!!” so he just laughs and you join them being like “!!! apologise!!! you banned them for it and!! look at you now!!”

so he ends up trying to hold in another laugh as he mutters a halfassed ‘sorry’ and everyone starts commenting claps and hearts and celebrating that he apologised. now justice has been made.

the rest of that stream suddenly feels livelier and brighter!! you two are laughing a lot and so is everyone in the chat!!

and also the new genshin event would’ve already just been released that same day so you can talk about some of your experiences with recording or what you thought of it

and scaramouche would let you play it yourself!! (he still hadn’t played it) and it was also the first time you played genshin live!! you’d show people the characters you have and everything and tell them some anecdotes

people would be SHOCKED because you!? don’t have the character you voiced!? D:

and you’re like “yeah… i pulled for them and used up all my primogems and… didn’t get them”

and your banner is back because of the event, so scaramouche won’t let this slide!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL GET YOUR CHARACTER.

your luck is terrible compared to his so at one point you’ll literally feel bad for how much he’s spending for you to get it

but he doesn’t mind at all and everyone is having fun so!!

and once you finally get them you’re sO HAPPY and everyone in the chat is celebrating

and you think it’s over but scaramouche is like ???? what are you doing?? open the wish page again. you’re going to get them c6.

and you’re like oh my gOD PLEASE NO DON’T SPEND MORE MONEY ON ME FOR THIS

but he won’t listen and he’ll do it

so!!! he’ll always do his best to be the best boyfriend he can be for you!! so you better give him your heart!!!!

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshim impact headcanons #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche scenarios #scaramouche headcanons

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smolfailure · 4 years ago

Text

FUCK IT, DREAM SMP HOMESTUCK AU

but it's only half shitposts and there are actual Thoughts in there.

You don't need to have read the comic to understand because I tried not to spoil anything major, but it'd help if you knew basic stuff about classpects, SBURB and the hemospectrum.

disclaimer: i'm not a good pixel artist and this is my first actual sprites ever so please be kind to my weird pixels

The Kids:

Tommy

Fundy

Techno

Tubbo

tommy, tubbo and fundy one of the kids because they're the kids in dream smp canon (with fundy being son of wilbur)

techno's there because i want to make a dave strider reference (haha get it because techno's name is also da-- *gets shot) and also because they are both coolguys except instead of using irony, techno has adhd

The Trolls:

Wilbur Soohte (fuschia)

?????? Ehrret (violet)

J????? Shlatt (purple)

Nihacu Niikki (indigo)

Skeppy Diamon (cerulean)

Quacki Tthiey (teal)

Philza Myncra (jade)

Dreame Wastkn (lime disguising as olive)

George Notfou (gold)

Sapphe Nahfpe (bronze)

Badboy Haelow (burgundy)

don't come at me saying only females are allowed to be jades and fuschias; gender is fake and this is an au

more of the AU and the talksprites are under the cut:

Tommy

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Red

chaotic. the first person to be introduced.

when he gets introduced instead of the “Zoosmell Pooplord” bit, Tommy is initially going to be the name inputted but then backspaced it and decided that Tommyinnit was better and he was fuming until he’s named Tommy.

Gives me big Blood/Hope vibes. Blood because a lot of the conflict of the dream smp connected to someone breaking his trust or harming the things he cares about, Hope because a lot of the plot of the dream smp stems from Tommy starting shit based on his ideals and what he thinks is right.

the first to instigate fighting against the trolls

bbh contacts him once and tommy keeps cursing until he disconnects from frustration rip

wields Gunkind and his only strife weapon at the beginning is the Vlog gun. He has Gunkind as his strife specibus mainly because he looked up at schlatt and he imitates him.

Fundy

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Orange

it was his idea to play SBURB but only through Dream.

he talks to dream the most among the other trolls fwt stans getcha juice this is the rosemary of the session

dream’s the one giving him exposition about the game so that’s how he knows how to play SBURB.

wilbur trolls fundy once and instantly adopts him.

“You’re my son.” “How does that even work??” “I was one of the people who created your universe. It’s basically the same thing.”

Fundy relents anyway.

Techno

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Pink

dave strider but dead-inside voice + rose lalonde english major vibes

he slices the text box when you try to name him "Dave " like in

techno gives me time player vibes (contantly on the move. his skyblock series, his “stays in the pit” monologue,) but also rage vibes (anarchy, the “theseus” monologue, political alignment is Chaos) alas i am not sure what class

uses Tridentkind and claims "it came from god"

it was dream, he accidentally transportalized one of wilbur’s weapon while he testing the transportalizer.

Tubbo

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Green

the jade harley of this session. the only thing keeping them from going apeshit. where would they be without him.

but also jade harley in a sense that he seems nice and wholesome but also don’t fuck with them they can mess you up

Heart/Life vibes??? someone good at classpecting help

i put them in prospit bc of the "tubbo third eye" instead of tubbo having a sixth sense or smth, they see the future from the clouds of skaia when they sleep

wields Stress-relieverKind at some point

bonus: everyone’s actual hair colors

Ideas about the Trolls

no i haven’t done their sprites yet bc it would take so much time and i’m not even sure if people wanna see more of this au skjdkdsakdfkl,, but i have Design Ideas.

events of the dsmp revolution are just a FLARP session drawing parallels to how the homestuck trolls had a FLARP session that spoiler alert: destroyed friendships. dtrio, eret, will are involved. eret betrays will's faction and wilbur's still Bitter over that.

on the context of alternia (highbloods and lowbloods) lmanburg and dreamsmp have their roles SWAPPED. the emancipation theme thing is completely gone since highbloods are in more power than the lowbloods (the dream team) .

wilbur made a faction called l’manburg because he wants a place where he and his fellow highbloods could make drugs vibe.they take a piece of land that was owned by the dream team. in normal circumstances, they shouldve stood down because lowbloods aren't supposed to start shit with highbloods (especially a group of highbloods that has the alternian heir among them) but dream turned it into an activism thing about lowblood rights. the story plays as close as possible without tommy or tubbo in it (which is pretty hard ik but this is the best can do).

like in the dreamsmp revolution, dream kinda let wilbur do what he wants but this time he has more reason to because he’s in a lower caste. dream really only fought back when wilbur announced that he’d be building lmanburg on their land and calling it theirs.

eret betrays wilbur by supporting the lowbloods and wilbur and co. technically won but only because he finally called the drones in, as a reference to how lmanburg absolutely got crushed by the dream team in the smp but technically won. l’manburg keeps the piece of land and the dream team scatter away to find a new home.

wilbur soot's a fuschia because a) he's in a position that has a lot of power, b) yknow how he wrote a song about squids and his thing with sally… yeah.

eret's a violet because nobility!! dream looks down on him because he's ambivalent on fighting for lowblood rights when he's in a power to do so "you just sit there, and you look pretty that's it"

also like eridan he has a minor aesthetic mutation (herobrine eyes) that won't classify him as a mutant.

jschlatt is purple because it makes sense thematically because of the gamzee parallels (a. substance abuse b. if you know what happens in act 6, you know this already but spoiler alert, he ruins the main protagonists' lives) also he's a funnyman he deserves the clown caste

quackity's a teal because he’s a law student. moving on--

ok but for real it also makes sense thematically because he's the one who wrote the thing that tricked schlatt into agreeing also he gets manipulated by schlatt which also draws parallels to certain events in the comic

skeppy and bbh are BEST FRIENDS despite being highblood and lowblood respectively. initially, skeppy just wanted to bother bbh but they grew to be good friends in time. y’know like how they actually becane friends :D

philza minecraft is a jade because dad friend. also works thematically, because spoiler alert he gets to murder a seadweller for going batshit crazy.

he also god tiers early. he dies fighting his quick undead denizen (haha baby zombie) but the consorts of his land carry him to his quest bed because he’s treated them all so well.

dream was initially going to be another caste but then i realized that means i have to make his hoodie something other than green which is unacceptable so its a good thing the fact that he's a lime works out

dream was the one who thought of playing sgrub in the first place- initially only planned to have gogy, sap, and bbh in the session but then realized that they four won't be enough so he invited more into his session

he’s also the first to go godtier ez clap blind speedrun not sure what classpect tho

the only reason why dream avoided being culled at birth for being a limeblood is because his rng is That Good. he quickly picked up the fact that he’s not supposed to exist and masqueraded as an oliveblood and kept mostly to himself to avoid suspicion.

george is still colorblind but he has lazer eyes along with it instead. dream lives with him in the same hive since being a mutant means dream doesn’t get a lusus of his own (dnf fans getcha juice “and they were roommates”)

despite living in the same hive, he never really figures out that dream is a limeblood. possibly because a) he’s colorblind and when he sees dream bleeding he just sees yellow b) he’s just that fucking oblivious and it’s so valid of him.

sapnap’s a bronzeblood mainly because i know he’s the instigator of the pet war with tommy also because i associate him with the color orang in my mind so bronze it is

that’s the end of this long-ass post!! if you have other ideas PLEASE i want to hear them. i don’t know the other streamers i mentioned in here very well so if you have ideas that would be fitting to them like with classpect or lunar sway that would be GREAT.

the only thing i’m confident about in here are the kids’ lunar sways. i’m not an expert in classpects and homestuck lore so there’s that too!! i just wanted to make this post because adhd means that the idea wouldn’t shut up until i finished it. This initially started as a single shitpost edit of tommyinnit talksprite but then the hiveswap 2 trailer came out and that means i have to combine my two hyperfixations.

also i have ideas about potential quadrants but idk how much of that is breaking some streamers’ boundaries about shipping (even the non romantic quads such as kismesistude, morallegiance and auspisticism) so i decided not to include it.

edit: apparently people want more so i made a discord server as a place to brainstorm!! please pm me to join!

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stvpidinlove · 3 years ago

Photo

[ OLIVIA HOLT, SHE/HER, CIS WOMAN ] — [ REGAN MORGAN ] is a child of [ MORPHEUS ] with the power of [ PRECOGNITIVE DREAMING ] . they were born in [ 1995 ] and have been in nemean lion since [ 2019 ] . with the change, they [ ARE TRAINING IN ] the [ AMBASSADOR ] role which makes sense since they’re usually [ SCROLLING HER CURSED TIKTOK FYP & CONFUSING HER FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER ] . if you’d like to meet them try the [ MOON ] building .

tl;dr she’s a deranged menace to society

BASICS

hometown: milford, pennsylvania

eye color: brown

hair color: blonde

height: 5′3

sexuality: bisexual

birthday: january 19, 1995 ( capricorn )

BIO

regan’s mother was never the type to settle down. before meeting morpheus, her longest relationship had been three months. so when the guy seemed commitment-phobic, that was perfect for her. until, of course, she found out she was pregnant. she didn’t want to get married but she was at an age where the idea of motherhood...didn’t repulse her. so she wanted to keep the baby, at which point the father of her child didn’t get down on one knee, he started to explain the kinds of responsibilities she’d face as the mother of his child.

having the child of a god in her womb inflated her ego, which was pretty impressive considering how big it already was. see, regan’s mother was a southern belle without any of the class or manners. she’d breezed through the pageant circuit as a teen, winning a number of titles with minimal effort. her talent was essentially crying on demand and looking pretty while doing it. knowing she’d slept with a god, like an honest to...god felt sort of fitting. like, duh, who else would she have her first child with?

this also led to a brief but intense fixation with shakespeare, who name dropped gods like it was his job, which led to her choosing the name regan from king lear.

she moved to pennsylvania with regan when her daughter was only four years old, because some guy practically begged her to let him take care of her, and she had nowhere better to go. until, eventually, she did, thanks to the world of avon. her mother started selling out of boredom but then it turned out she was good at it, so good that she could easily buy a place once she got bored of her rich boyfriend, and move out with regan.

thankfully, her mother got out of the pyramid scheme before she got in too deep. she was hired by an actual, reputable cosmetics company and given a desk job to work in sales, which she was still a natural at. because she had a full time job now, regan spent a lot of time with nannies...and that’s nannies plural because regan was one of those kids who drove her caretakers to quit on a regular basis.

but not because she was a handful. she was pretty self-sufficient, actually, and totally well-behaved, she was just kind of...weird. she’d leave her room for dinner with all of her clothes suddenly on backwards and say nothing as if it was normal and act confused when her nanny asked about it. she’d stare at the tv when it was off, she’d spend one day only speaking in whispers, she’d write vaguely threatening messages on the mirror with her mother’s red lipstick.

all of this was because regan knew it was scary to adults, which made it fun for her. she wasn’t, like, actually disturbed. well, aside from the dreams she had sometimes. she’d have a dream about a baby bird falling from a nest, she’d watch its chest move for minutes before it died, then she’d wake up the next day and find a dead bird outside the sliding glass doors to the backyard.

for a while she thought they were coincidences. then she thought she was making things happen in her sleep, and that it was her job to stop bad things from happening, to save every baby bird that asked for help in her dreams. it took her a few years to accept that just because she sometimes saw the future didn’t mean she had any power to change it. she was warned so she could prepare herself, which only made her feel more powerless.

but being regan, she chose to cope with this aspect of her life with avoidance and humor. she doesn’t want to pick and choose what she worries about and what she doesn’t, so she decided a long time ago not to take anything seriously.

for reasons unknown, regan’s mother actually decided to have another child after regan. but she was unconventional, too, hence regan being...the way she is, so she never actually married the father of regan’s half-brother, but they have been together for the past 15 years, so.

her brother is eleven years younger than she is, so in regan’s mind, a baby. whenever left with the task of babysitting him while the two were growing up, it would be regan who suggested ice cream for breakfast and sock sliding around the living room at dangerous speeds.

RANDOM FACTS

i want to v*mit saying this but.....she’s kind of like........the female version of stevesuptic. except for she’s cute <3

her entire twitch account is kind of satirical, like it’s very hard to gauge what her actual personality is. i don’t think her viewers bully her the way they bully steve bc she would bully them back LMAO but they ask her a lot of random ass super weird sometimes borderline disturbing questions and she answers them like it’s normal

she def has weird/creepy drawings whenever playing gartic phone tho /:

ig you could say her channel is like shit posting but make it a streamer. she has a really nice set up and she always looks made up in her streams but then the content is her playing like a cat dating sim for four hours

she’s actually pretty shit at most games that require any level of skill and her following comes entirely from her personality and her Brand ig, she’s just entertaining to watch bc she says and does the most ??? things. like she’s not a gamer girl and doesn’t say she is she just has a twitch and plays games for the attention

also she has a cat named muffintop (best part of the muffin, not the offensive term for a woman’s stomach, though she will say that’s what it means if someone asks) who she regularly posts memes of and like most of her twitch emotes are her cat. you can find examples on her pinterest board lmao

i think it’s pretty hard to get an actual vision out of regan? she mostly keeps those to herself and just lies about her dreams. she’ll just be like, “yeah actually i had a dream you were gonna choke on some oatmeal so stay safe out there.” she’s also only partially sure when a dream is actually about the future.

her like <3 symbol that represents her is butterflies, she has a ton of butterfly shit

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

idk if i am requesting a roommate for once, idk if i wanna subject anyone to that

someone naive who believes her any time she says something is Going To Happen, no matter how stupid it is and no matter how many times things simply do not happen??

a bestie because...............................i just feel like she wormed her way into someone’s inner circle and they’re just stuck with her now

#idek how to describe her so this is not helpful actually #nlintro #𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 ( 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐 ) * regan #this is such a fever dream

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symptoms-syndrome · 3 years ago

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Talking about therapy. Under a readmore bc...I think it would make some people mad. Unsure of TWs, I guess "fakeclaiming" and denial.

I didn't really realize how much the recent drama in the DID community (the one relating to that streamer/YouTuber, I won't elaborate in this post bc gd forbid it shows up in the tags somehow) effected me until I talked about it in therapy.

I know I can't stand the way a lot of people talk about DID online. Whether they're legitimate or not, I don't care, though I do know for certain it is something of a "trend" right now, that's undeniable. It's popular, it's fun, people get to take kinning to the next level, what better way to get TikTok followers than leech off the fame runoff by claiming to be people that people already love?

It just makes me feel so...icky. It makes me ashamed of my experiences that aren't like theirs, because they're different and weird and not what people expect from what looks on TikTok like a fun cute thing, but it also makes me ashamed to have anything in common with them, because I don't want to be associated with that kind of image.

I don't know what I want. I don't want to be a sad pitiful thing drowning in struggle but I don't want to be a cute fun spectacle either, at least not because of DID. I want to not have parts at all, but I can't deny that some of them are helpful and nice.

A lot of this was triggered by what, in retrospect, is likely a part that was present before, the one that came up during vacation. Pieces make sense that aim towards that being a part that was present in probably middle school.

Weirdly enough, the thing that disturbs me most about this part, that makes me embarassed by them, is how normal they are. They're seemingly...normal, for the most part. Not wailing in trauma or mired down by the past or even blissfully ignorant or a workaholic. But they have wings. Or they believe they do. And that just feels so...absurd, to have a part that's normal except for one thing like that.

I have another part with wings, but they're, and I say this with as much compassion as I can muster, a mess. They're very trauma stuck, and their wings are connected to some deep traumas. They have a wildly inaccurate sense of self. They have a lot of strong negative emotions. They're mostly present when in extreme distress and they act noticably different from me, in a negative way.

But this part isn't like that. They're mostly normal. They almost pass as just another person, except for the wings and "memories" (or maybe just immersive daydreams?) About flight. And somehow that feels worse than the previously mentioned part.

Anyway all this to say that I couldn't even tell my therapist the bit about the wings for most of the session. It feels so embarrassing. It feels like the sort of out-there wish fulfillment I see a lot of teens doing when they talk about introjects of their favorite characters. Even though it isn't that out there. It's bad enough having an anime introject from something I was into when I was like, 12. But now this. I know it isn't that much. I just wish my DID stuck to the regular menu. Give me TV DID before TikTok DID.

I tell my friends that DID isn't like TikTok, but I don't share a lot about my parts with them. Feels too personal, and too cringy. I'd rather talk about my parts with regressive, conservative beliefs than talk about some kid with wings in my head.

Anyway circling back to the original point, any time I have any sort of obvious DID symptom my brain just has such a visceral negative reaction to it because of all this bad representation. I don't want people to know I have DID. I don't want to be associated with people who practically riot over the idea of not being able to roleplay their favorite person in said person's space. I don't want to be associated with childish shit and cute alter convos and downloading entire animes into my brain. I honestly would prefer everyone thinking I'm some crazy killer over that. At least my mental illness would be taken seriously. I'm afraid that maybe my psych also has the popular TikTok/Twitter idea of DID, though I don't know what solid evidence I have yet, if any. Just vibes, or maybe paranoia/hypervigilance. Hard to tell the difference. I just wish everyone would stop. I'm ready for the fad to be over. Maybe once the fad is over and my illness doesn't go away, I'll finally be fully convinced I have it. Of course, I got diagnosed before this all became as big a fad as it is, but still.

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moogghost · 3 years ago

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hmm you know what

been thinking a bit more about Coda lately (modern day relative of Holt's who does get involved in the yellow streamer stuff in my pmtok au). tbh i feel like she could actually be a sort of alt. Hole Punch in this au? like not replacing Holt or even just being for an alt los (though i might consider making one at some point? they'd sort of just be relatives of my current los and just a more 'what-if' scenario but perhaps). she'd just flat out be a second Hole Punch in this scenario

more rambling about pmtok hidden below - i am so sorry for how long this is i did not mean for it to be so long :') /lh

like she joins Olly and the others mainly because 1) she's literally never met another demigod in the Fire Vellumental's line who still has their powers and 2) she just wants more out of her life, especially as she's a demigod but since the Vellumentals drifted further away from most of society (for a lot of reasons, a good chunk of it can be attributed to Holt, Robin, and Taniel and very unfortunate circumstances), it's kind of affected them as well. so naturally because of the first reason she's mainly introduced to the others via Holt, likely by complete accident because xe would not intentionally bring someone with xem to the others

at first she's just very clingy around Holt solely due to not knowing the others as well (like. she does know Taniel and Jean bc they were there when Holt and Coda first met and she's a little more comfortable around them as time grows on due to Holt's eventual enemies-to-lovers thing going on with them but it still takes time). but she does grow closer to the others, mainly Harlow because they're both around the same age (15 years or so) and because he does not have as much work as the others, per say (like he still does he just. most of it is Saxen's work that she refuses to do for whatever reason). Coda and Harlow becoming friends is what usually motivates him to even head to the castle since he does not like staying there. eventually this extends to everyone else

except Saxen? sort of? partially because honestly i've genuinely been thinking of pairing them together but also because i want to see Saxen have a more negative relationship with someone within the los (like...Jean sort of counts but she's more neutral with him and has mostly moved past what happened between them during their past lives). mainly since oddly enough Saxen gets along fairly well with everyone and it'd be interesting to see her have more negative clashes with someone who. eventually becomes her friend and eventual queerplatonic partner

like i've actually been writing a few things between them and like. Coda's dynamic with the others is interesting because she's the only one who isn't revived or is very close to death's door (sort of? this is only in the case of Staples who has this because of a relation to a faded Vellumental so he's just depending on Olly atm). and she would not know certain things about this or even like. realise this until much later due to context clues. i can imagine this would lead to several, and i mean several fights between Coda and Saxen partially due to a lack of understanding, miscommunication, and the both of them just being extremely stubborn people in general

and in the context of the current pmtok au i'm writing about like. she'd be able to work more as a spy or smth, not sure how she'd be yet but she'd be able to make more reoccuring appearances with more ease than the other characters. like i plan to do this with Saxen because 1) it honestly makes sense for her character up until the green streamer arc hits and 2) i really enjoy writing her honestly idk why i don't write her more often. but with Coda it's also very easy for her to fulfill a similar role at the same time. in the context of a gameplay status she'd probably be a sort of miniboss if that helps explain things

but anyways yeah Coda is. i love her and she's probably going to end up being this second Hole Punch or smth mainly for character reasons since it does make sense for her character. that and i do adore this idea of a Scisspunch dynamic so it's very likely <3 (how would you tag that within my stories that also involve Coloredpunchtape you might be asking. i have no clue either probably just oc so it isn't as confusing)

#pmtok #paper mario #pmtok hole punch #pmtok au #long post #Coda was originally just going to be involved in the ys but. yeah this slaps too #plus i also really enjoy the concept of Harlow having a genuine friend his age #(outside of his sister ofc)#if you read the whole thing i appreciate you greatly and you deserve a kudos for that #i could've and would've made this longer but. i am sleepy and i should probably split my ramblings up a bit more-#ghost whispers

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fromhasun · 4 years ago

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( mercy, 21+, she/her, gmt-4. ) — yoo hasun ( & jung wooyoung, ateez ) is a twenty-two year old dreamer dreaming a dream of sparks who has been part of the Collective for ten months. he works as an ice skating instructor and is known for being trenchant and grudge-bearing. look closer, however, and you may find that he reminds you of ghost towns, a cutting gust of wind, and holding your breath for so long that your eyes burn with tears.

PROFILE :: BIO :: PLOTS :: STARTER IDEAS

hey streamers it’s mercy, here 2 introduce hasun, ur local washed up ice-skating-prodigy-turned-part-time-skating-instructor, nefarious speed demon, and hater of haters of pineapple on pizza. under the cut is a quick rundown of his personality + plot ideas & if you like this post i’ll come over n say hi!!

this is a muse who’s gone thru quite a few iterations tbh *smacks his head* this baby can pack so many au’s in him!! anyway, for self care, he pretends his past before the collective doesn’t exist. he’s unlikely to have deep past connections because he basically cut everyone from his past off rip (unless someone wants to plot some estranged siblings or smth bc id be so down), so if u want to just assume a basic connection through the collective and start a thread based on something from my starters page/another idea, lemme know hehe

personality:

[furious skating to rock bgm]

cool front but psychic: *looks in his brain* his brain: *is this* psychic: what the fuck

expert ghoster, has burned all bridges from his past and willing to do it again if necessary. joined the collective somewhat to figure out what was going on with the dreams (read: make them stop), but mostly because he felt so suffocated in his old life -- not that he’ll ever say much about it, and certainly nothing about his past as a gifted ice skater.

has Repressed energy but in a weird contradicting way bc he can be closed off but is VERY expressive with negative feelings (aka anger, complaints, dislikes, pet peeves). ice skating his one Love and the only way he can vent everything he’s feeling properly, even if it means staying out on the ice until his entire being’s numb and sore

his job is actually one of the few things he genuinely enjoys, but ironically, tragically, his resting bitch face leads people to believe otherwise

destructive but polite about it. like he’ll only wreck stuff that belongs to him or the government, not other people’s, ok

definitely knows he can be A Lot so he tries to minimize himself around other ppl he has no beef with. again, very polite. but if u irritate him....by god he will let it be known

kind of feral....like...very likely to get into a fight. unlikely to win but will go down swinging

kind of hates that he’s having these dreams and meeting others in them? because it feels v intimate and he’s one of those ppl who believe dreams are like....manifestations of ur deepest inner thoughts and stuff and he hates that others can access that part of him. so his fellow dreamers of sparks....if he sees u in his dream, he will probably bend over backwards trying to avoid u irl

he’s so lost? has absolutely nothing in mind about the future except “go forward,” and tbh, his personality has become so intense because of how hard he’s tried to pour himself into that one goal--because without it, what the hell does he have????

plot ideas:

lessons at the rink bro.... either people who hate him because of his stinky attitude or people who fear him LOL (not that theres really anything to be afraid of imo but ur muse can take this how they will ^I$$(#*)

ROOMMATE!! any gender!! i havent made anything canon abt where he lives except that it’s off campus, so if anyone needs a roommate hmu

someone who riles him up just as badly as he riles them up and it’s all snark and venom

fellow dreamers <333 he’s tamer in dreams and MIGHT EVEN SMILE OR LAUGH A LIL but he’d avoid them so bad irl TT

or get him drunk, he’s more fun then

someone who bails him out of fights he gets into

the actual person he almost gets into a fight with.........

someone who drags him out of the rink bc WHY is he still there at 1am

the Happy Optimistic One who offsets his attitude and somehow their dynamic works even tho on paper it sounds like a mess

someone who constantly sees him loitering around the butterfly house but never sees him go in bc he is scared of bugs LMFAO

if u read this far ily but if u didnt i still love u because i know it was kinda a lot gi990i43

#tdc:intro #i havent written properly in like a MONTH n thats way too long i cant wait to be hereee #intro

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mariaiscrafting · 4 years ago

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bro as someone with adhd this sounds very much like a hyperfixation? ik you've said you think you might have adhd, so if you do, maybe some of this will help you? this is mostly advice coming from experience tho

if you're trying to get rid of a hyperfixation, in my experience the best way to do it is so slowly replace it with something else. i, for one, scour the internet for cute male characters with neglectful parents, and start putting time into enjoying the fan work and original content of that topic, only occasionally darting back to my previous fixation before going back to the new one. if you like fanfics, boy do i have some recs.

but also keep in mind that while hyperfixations are kind of unavoidable, they aren't necessary unhealthy. they're only unhealthy when you find yourself consistently putting so much time into it that you neglect eating, sleep, your regular responsibilities, etc. that said, they can also provide a very important mode of escape for people. it's really up to you to figure out if you're being healthy about it or not. hope this helps!!

I mean, it might be, I don’t really know. I’m still tossing around the adhd theory a bit, and though I likely won’t talk to a psychiatrist at least until 2022, I’ll bring it up then to figure it out for sure.

I’m not really trying to get rid of my mcyt... let’s call it obsession, for now, bc I don’t wanna co-opt words that are meant for ND people (like, so many people call everything a hyperfixation nowadays, even things that certainly aren’t ones, and it’s diluted the meaning). I kinda just have lost interest in mcyt, and now that all my free time is no longer spent watching streams or videos, catching up on Twitter trends/notifications, answering the newest bit of drama to drop in the fandom, or scouring Tumblr for good art and fics, it’s just... very unfulfilling lmao. I just don’t have the same urge to be obsessive about it anymore.

One of the best things about mcytblr to me was that I’d get so many asks or posts I wanted to reply to or direct replies, so I’d always get a chance to type for hours everyday about this thing I really loved, and I really fucking like typing and writing and articulating whatever point I was trying to get across. Plus, yk, the dopamine hit from making discourse/theory posts that’d get, like, 100 notes every hour was probably addicting in some sense. I never really had a social media addiction until I got into mcyt... I guess the addiction part was actualyl pretty much like how you described an unhealthy hyperfixation; like, I wouldn’t notice that I hadn’t eaten in a long time or that I had an appointment I’d missed/almost missed because of mcyt...

Now, I still get the pull to check up on Tumblr, but there’s just nothing I want to fill up my time with when I’m on here, anymore. Doesn’t help that all the streamers I used to fucking love listening to at all hours of the day can’t grab my attention for more than a few minutes anymore...

Eh, so yeah, not really a matter of getting rid of the mcyt bug, more just that it’s already left over the course of the past month, and now I’m left feeling rather empty lol.

#asks #what in the world to tag this with uhhhhh #Anonymous

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sunwritten · 5 years ago

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hi guys 😁 i am ur girl mimi ( she/her, mst, 22 ) and all u have to know about me is that i do nothing but keysmash , cry , listen to redvelvet and arianagrande, talk spanglish since spanish is my first language AND that i love sonic the hedgehog . now let me introduce to u to my boy 😁

̗̀ ✰ ― 〔 cha eunwoo, cis male, he/him ）― ❝ have you seen mason choi walking around the town square in the afternoon ? if you’re close enough you might even be able to hear in your eyes by the weeknd blasting through their headphones. they’re twenty-four and are currently working as a piano instructor / songwriter. once you get to know them, you’ll be able to find out that they’re very candid and reserved, but also can be very lackadaisical and blunt.

statistics .

name: mun-hee “mason” choi .

age: 24 .

dob: january 1st , 1996 .

gender + pronouns: cis male , he/him .

zodiac: capricorn sun , libra moon , pisces raising .

orientation: bisexual , biromantic .

religion: heavily raised under catholic influences . he doesn’t care , though .

hometown: olympia , washington .

residence: novan , south carolina .

occupation: piano instructor, but he can be a tutor for anything if he does some investigation the night prior. singer and songwriter in hopes to make it big one day. streamer and influencer on twitch, youtube and instagram.

about .

THE JACK OF ALL TRADES: a person who is not content learning about just one thing only , developing a sense to learn something efficiently so they can be good enough at whatever they choose . raised under a strict household , mason craved to learn and experience more than what was taught under the roof of his house and church . spent most of his life reaching out ( sometimes suceeding , sometimes not ) to everything to have some kind of experience under his belt: some of these being both noticed by his parents and some others not ( and for the better ) . a quick learner and adaptable , and when he knows how to approach new skills properly , no mountain is too high for him .

the only child to a priest and a lawyer . mun-hee , eventually introducing himself as mason because he was tired of repeating his name over and over , was brought up in a wealthy and strictly catholic household in olympia , washington . he was forbidden from doing anything out of the ordinary since he could remember ; from dirtying up his sunday clothes to not attending his best friend's birthday party because his parents had the suspicion that substances were going to be involved at the party , and they didn't want him to fall into that hole . if only they knew .

was pushed into the church's choir against his own will when he turned eight , weeks later he was not only praised by his voice , but he fell in love with music . he learned how to play the piano and guitar by himself , and he was later taught by his parent's friends on how to play the violin , the flute , the drums and even the saxophone . he is currently learning how to play the cello and the harp . he specializes on piano , guitar and drums only while the others are one of his multiple , but not so developed , skills .

wrote his very first song when he was eleven ( something that got him the first place at his school's talent show ) , since then he has been writing and creating his own music . he’s currently working on trying to produce something good enough to put out one day . his passion on music caused some tension between him and his parents because , although they didn't disown him or anything , they didn't approve of it---- mostly because they had plans of having him replace his father's position at their church . this caused mason to simply not talk about music with them . it was when he graduated high school when he decided to move out to new york to attend columbia as a mathematics major with a minor on creative writing . after graduation , he moved to novan at the age of 21 because he wanted a new change of scenery .

jason has his own youtube channel , filled with vlogs about literally everything: archives of his past gaming streams on twitch , guitar/piano/bass/song covers that have gone viral on twitter and instagram time to time so he has somewhat of a following fanbase .

tidbits .

despite that i know nothing about mason so im going full force on development with him LKSJKLSJSLKJSLKJS

a himbo . he’s a really nice guy ... kinda dense .. kinda slutty ....... but at the same time he’s v reserved and doesn’t speak until someone is speaking to him bc that’s juss how he was raised U know

he’s not as religious as his parents think he is . he doesn’t... really care but that’s the religion he was raised with so . but that won’t stop him from wearing this sexc necklace with a golden cross bc he thinks he looks hot with it Mwah .

mason has a good relationship with his parents actually !!!! something that is sexc despite of the lil music tension because not only he adores them and they adore him , but he’s lowkey living off their money but at the same time he has gotten a bunch of MONIESSSS because rich people keep giving him money so he can teach their kids to play ( insert musical instrument here ) hehe .

u kno on parasite how the kim family started to do the things the park family wanted or whatever..... kinda like that . sometimes uses his skill of being a quick learner to come up with something quick and make it believable and get the monies KJKLSJSJS

a piano , guitar and drums prodigy . sings like an angel and has the voice of my man’s baekhyun with some lil justin bieber undertones u kno..... probably v popular at karaoke bars . and he’s a songwriter too and produces and mixes his own music and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

he wants to put out music sometime but for now....... he just makes random covers on his youtube channel , a channel that became popular bc oooooooooooooo cute boy who can sing and play the piano and is funny on his videogame streams . lets subscribe and tip him ten dollars so he can sing a song to me on his next stream <3 !

has gone viral time to time bc of his covers and bc hes really funny on twitter ngl . but if someone recognizes him he gets rather shy LSKJSLKSJKSLJ

fucks around with alcohol and some drugs but it’s nothing too wild . he has been toying w these habits since high school and he still thanks god that they never found out about this ldjldkjdkldjd

idk what else to say

he knows how to do card and skateboard tricks but please dont ask him to do wild things on the skateboard please he just can do the basics and doesn’t fancy the idea of getting his nose broken again LKJLSKJSLKSJLKSJ

a whole ass gamer when he’s not scratching his head trying to come up with the perfect sound for a new song . will ignore phone calls and messages until he’s done . he is also one of those bitches who will make u cum and then will get up to continue his game SLKJKLSJSKLJSKLSJ

he has a white cat and a cocker spaniel: phat and kiwi! aka the loves of his life

a hopeless romantic who has like 289739873 failed relationships . he was a puppy heartbreaker when he was in college ngl

wanted connections.

best friend or someone he’s super close with ever since he moved in

unlikely friendship

partying buddies

PARTNERS IN CRIME

maybe he can be a cornerstone to someone just kno he’s not good with advice LKSJLKSJSLKJSKLSJ

maybe someone he teaches piano??? or maybe he taught them something else IDK

maybe a muse... someone who gives him so much inspo for his music/poems mmmmm this could be multiple because he finds inspo on everyone basically

exes ( good / bad terms ) kinda want three exes so he could say ONE TAUGHT ME LOVE , ONE TAUGHT ME PATIENCE AND ONE TAUGHT ME PAIN !!!!!

one sided crush ( them @ him or him @ them )

MUTUAL CRUSH ???????????????????

someone he spoils just bc ( this should be talked abt i guess )

frenemies

mutual annoyance

maybe someone who joins him on his vlogs u kno..... like when they r together his followers (or theirs if there’s someone out there who was a youtube channel too) are like o shit hell yeah

fwb(s) because he’s a slut -________-

bad / good influences are also good

one night stands

idk

fuck

pokemon go buddies

neighbors? he lives in an apartment complex and his apartment is sexc ngl

i like to brainstorm tho

please plot with me thanks

#▐ ╰ * 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒅𝒔. › ooc.#novanintro #i have a discord if ANYONEEEE wants it hehe

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bcketts · 5 years ago

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INTRODUCING...ALLIE BECKETT. ( @gallagherintro )

OK, I’M VERY EXCITED AND NERVOUS BC...what a weird time to bring in a new character ! i hope it works out, who knows ??? i guess i’ll be plotting with you all for a bit while allie is confined to the 5th floor with no phone lmao, but i have lots of plot ideas and muse so i can talk your ear off forever. so at least there’s that.

if you’d like to plot on tumblr LIKE THIS POST and if u want to plot on discord, hmu at #kati7600 for a good time ( or just comment or something and i’ll hit u up )

click here for her stats page & here for her pinterest !

⌠ VIRGINIA GARDNER, 21, CISFEMALE, SHE+HER ⌡ welcome to gallagher academy, ALLISON “ALLIE” BECKETT! originally hailing from POINTSETT, ARKANSAS they were exposed to too much during the protest, and the academy is now in charge of their safe care. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( warm chamomile tea on a winter morning, a collection of polaroids stacked in shoeboxes under your bed, bare feet running through an open field, laughter until your sides hurt. ) when it’s the ( virgo ) ’s birthday on 8/28/98, on the bad nights they request their HAWAIIAN PIZZA from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re safe in witness protection. ⌿ kati, 23, est, she/her ⍀

hi i’m sorry her bio is long and in 2nd person but at least u have lots of time to read it while she’s on lockdown ??

you come into this world silent. from the moment you are born, jeremy, your twin brother, does all the screaming for you. both blonde-haired with blue eyes, things will come easy to you – but even easier for him, because red-faced and screaming, he knows how to make his mark. katherine and richard beckett are thrilled to welcome two perfectly happy and healthy babies. and as your brother screams beside you, develops colic and obstinance, you are deemed the favorite – he is deemed the problem. people underestimate how important those early years are.

it’s your first day of kindergarten and you bury yourself in your mother’s skirt, scared. jeremy runs in the room with confidence, introducing himself to the other kids and settling in the corner near the firetrucks. but you cry so much that your mother takes you home and when you finally come back a week later, all the children stare at you, like you’re going to explode at any moment. but children are resilient and within time, you make friends and you excitedly tell your mother about each new day in the car.

you go to church with your family on sunday mornings and your parents dress you up like a doll. you love the pink ribbons though, the way your parents dress you up and introduce them to all your friends. your brother is a lost cause and gets to play his gameboy on the pews but you are your parents pride and joy and you are paraded around – people love a little blonde girl and you smile widely at everyone you meet. it’s all a show though, you know that as you listen to your parents from the top of the stairs at night, yelling. they’re not happy. you clutch the railing, listening in, and you fight back the tears that threaten to stream down your face.

on your tenth birthday, your parents throw the two of you an elaborate party and you have a bouncy castle and everyone brings swimsuits for the pool. your parents can’t stop smiling. it isn’t until late that night after all the streamers have been taken out with the trash that you hear them yelling again. you listen in from the corner of the kitchen. you hear a glass shatter and you race upstairs to your brother. “i think they’re going to divorce,” you tell him. he laughs. “they’ll never do that, no matter what. we’re catholic, allie.” he flashes you a wry smile and you find yourself wondering what to believe.

your best days are spent at pointsett park. your parents often take you there after church, on sundays, and you and jeremy run around through the forests pretending to be wood nymphs with sticks in your hair. as you get older, the magic starts to fade and you feel less like a fairy princess and more like a moody teenager, but you and jeremy fill a shoebox full of things from your childhood and bury it, deep in the park, by the ugly tree. “if i were a tree, i’d be this one,” he jokes, as if all the girls at pointsett middle haven’t just sent him candy grams. “shut up,” you say, shoving him, “or put you in the ground instead of this shoebox.” he grins wryly at that. “clever.” you always were the clever one.

it’s the first day of high school and you feel like an outsider, everyone’s getting their first kisses and jumping in cars and you have to be home in time for curfew. you have friends from church, but with every glass your mother breaks, you wonder how much you really fit in with them at all. in an attempt to try something new, you go to cheerleading tryouts, but of course, you don’t make the team. at least you won’t have to beg your dad to let you wear the uniform. you trudge home and expect to be greeted by yells - you’ve come home late - but your parents are in the kitchen, berating your brother. he smells like marijuana. he gives you a lazy wink from the kitchen as you sneak upstairs.

a boy asks you on a date, a real one, your first real date ! you’re only a sophomore and wade matthews is a senior and you’re really nervous when he picks you up in his car. he tries to kiss you throughout the whole movie but you’re nervous and really, you want to watch the movie. when he pulls the car in an overhang near the mountains and kisses you, it’s rough and unwanted and he goes in with tongue. it’s hardly the enchanting first kiss you imagined and you pull back. is that what kissing’s like? really? he goes in again, saying he’s really turned on, asking if you want to have sex. you say no, but he tries to kiss you again. you push him back so hard his head hits the dashboard. “take me home,” you say. and he does. he obviously doesn’t call.

you have a few girls over for a sleepover and you’re sitting around in your pjs watching grease and passing around thermoses filled with rosé. you pass it on to the girl beside you without taking a sip. you start to raise the volume on the tv as you hear your parents fighting downstairs ( you think your mom might be sleeping with her doctor, which is all kinds of weird. ) when the thermos comes back to you, you take a swig.

you’re sitting in the basement with jeremy, head in your hands. “that’s it, i’m never drinking again.” he laughs. “allie, it’s your first hangover. you’re gonna be okay. and you’re probably going to drink again. it’s okay.” you shake your head, “this is exactly why it’s wrong, i’m so stupid.” your brother sits on the bed beside you, wraps his arm around you. “you’re allowed to be a stupid teenager, you know? fuck up a bit? mom and dad are…they’re crazy. i love ‘em, but they’re so obsessed with consequences, with image. if you don’t quit overthinking shit, you’re gonna wind up just like them.”

“COMING SOON: POINTSETT MALL” the poster is covered in icons, like a dunkin’ donuts and a macy’s. lots of people in the town talk about how excited they are, but they don’t talk about the fact that they’re tearing up pointsett park to build it, the park that holds all your best memories, all the ways you and jeremy would disappear into the woods growing up, skipping rocks in the pond and catching glimpses of magic creatures in the trees ( creatures that mostly turned out to be squirrels, ) where you buried your time capsule. you and jeremy sneak into the park late at night to dig it up, ducking under the caution tape. while you stand there digging, you get the idea: “we have to save the park!” you say, and it starts out as bake sales, town meetings, the twins who think they’re going to save a couple trees from corporate capitalism. but you make a video of the two of you, the history of playing in the park, and you talk about your dreams and memories. that’s what goes viral, and that’s what garners attention. suddenly, hundreds of people are showing up at your town hall – not because they love the park, but because they used to love their own special place, the one that’s now a walmart, a target, a gas station.

they build the strip mall. of course they do, because in the end it comes down to money. but the social media campaign that spirals, everyone sharing their own special places and what became of them, has made an impact. your project – Save Pointsett Park – is enough to get both you and your brother the interest of several prestigious schools. you have nearly the same SAT scores, even though you took two prep classes and studied for weeks and he nearly forgot about the test entirely, walked in with his shoes untied and a blunt in his shirtpocket. in the end, you both choose georgetown together, because despite your differences, you always do everything together.

you opt for a degree in global health because it combines your interests – biology and helping people, and you have dreams of working in healthcare and bringing it to parts of the world that don’t have it. you might have something of a complex, maybe something to prove. you’ve always had a diminished interest in boys, opting to put your studies first, until you meet him – richard hudson, the sort of boy you daydream about even though you stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago. he’s the second boy to kiss you and it feels so much different than wade matthew’s sweaty car at the drive in. he’s gentle and sweet, and he makes you feel uncharacteristically special – you wish you’d had the patience to wait for a first kiss like that. jeremy only teases you a little bit when you toss your purity ring – and he never even owned one.

you’re comfortable with him in a way you’ve never been with anyone else, and his attention has you falling hard and fast. you’re obnoxiously perfect at times, all over each other and always laughing, but like most fairy tales, things end. you notice the way he looks at her, the way he talks about her, and the way his eyes linger. you’re reminded of your parents, stuck in some unhappy farce when they’d really rather be anywhere else, with anyone else. you don’t want to be like them – you don’t want to trap him like that. so, you step back where you’re supposed to, even though it hurts, and your saving grace is jeremy, who holds you through the night through your first heartbreak. you experience all your sadness together.

until you don’t. here is the first sadness you’ve ever had to process without jeremy by your side, and it happens so fast. one second, he’s alive, and the next he’s blown into nonexistence, leaving a gaping ache in your chest that doesn’t seem to sooth itself. until now, your life has always been cushy, perfect, and smooth sailing. now, you toss and turn with nightmares, a ghost of yourself, trying to understand why you’re the one who gets to survive and why you matter at all. you’ve never existed in this world without him, and you thought you’d never have to.

you don’t sleep well now. you wander the halls at night, you act a little more recklessly. after all, jeremy broke rules all the time. maybe it’s your turn.

HEADCANONS.

sweet and pampered, maybe, but she’s still from arkansas. allie is extremely capable with a firearm and has pretty keen survival skills. she’s never actually shot anything, but she’s gone to the shooting range with her dad enough times, and she has been on frequent fishing trips. her family used to go camping quite a bit.

really a terrible driver. she’s really easily distracted and cannot focus, she’s a bit of a disaster behind the wheel, but it’s almost comical – as long as you’re not in the passenger seat.

is bisexual, although she’s never had the chance to explore that. growing up in a strictly catholic household and then spending most of her college years dating a boy, she’s never really thought about. finding girls pretty and thinking about them like that is what everyone does, right?

bakes when she’s stressed or upset. she’s got treats for everyone right now.

currently plagued by night terrors and is having a lot of trouble sleeping, so find her staying up until all hours or wandering campus with some dark circles under her eyes. she’s trying to cope, but it isn’t coming easily right now. it’s pretty disorienting, and anyone who knows her will notice the difference in disposition.

has traveled a lot for mission and/or service trips. uganda is where she usually goes, she’s been spending summers volunteering at the same women’s clinic for the past three years.

pineapple pizza advocate and WILL fight you on that

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

someone at gallagher she has a crush on. Basically, someone at gallagher who has really caught her eye and she’s stuck daydreaming about. The purpose of this is because she’ll be super nosy about them, trying to learn more about them, and that’s probably going to make this character nervous.

a dare/challenge??? This is so cheesy of me, but I’d love a plot where a Gallagher student has a dare or something to hook up with one of the WP kids and they make Allie into their sort of conquest. Things probably won’t go as planned for them.

brother’s ex/best friend. I might submit this to the main, but I’d love a WP character who was allie’s best friend & was dating her brother. All this grief and sadness and not knowing who to comfort who, but also getting over the loss together.

crushing??? I feel like all the WP kids are pretty paired off, but...it might be fun to have a WP character that’s had a crush on Allie all those years she’s been obsessing over her ex...you know, for pining & angst

any brother connections?? Idk, I’d love WP kids to also be connected to her brother, who was also in the club, so we can probably stem something spicy off of that too. Maybe they were his best friend, or more interestingly, maybe they fucking hated him.

someone from the past. someone at gallagher who knows her prior whether from school, volunteering, etc.she travels a lot and her parents have too, so there’s some flexibility, but maybe someone she knows or used to be close to and they grew apart, but they have the chance to rekindle things now. she probably really wants to.

a close friend. they have been at gallagher for a hot minute now, and I’d love for her to have bonded with a few of the people there. from my understanding, shit’s going to hit the fan, so a few close relationships would be spicy. people at gallagher who were actually really there for her about her brother, probably could relate to losing a loved one, and probably opened up to her. people at gallagher to worry about her safety now.

hook up? she’s really going through it, and although hookups aren’t typical, ithink it wouldn’t be weird for her to look for a warm body or seek comfort in the first person to smile at her at gallagher...not to mention she’s rooming with her ex and his crush, so a distraction is super welcome. i would also imagine that it’s against the rules for a gallagher student to hook up with a WP kid, so. the drama !

^ on that same vein, maybe a repeated hookup.

a girl to help her realize her sexuality.

someone totally lying to her. a gallagher student practicing their skills and getting to know allie using a totally fake backstory and identity, blatantly lying to her about things. and she’s naively playing into it? and maybe your character is realizing they’re actually fond of her and like hanging out with her, but they’ve lied about legit everything lol.

someone she’s suspicious of. there’s something off about this person, and allie is determined to find out what it is about them that just doesn’t fit.

someone to help her solve her problems by denial. someone who wants to break allie out of her shell and believes that the best way to get over it is to have a good time ! someone to be a bit of a bad influence on her, basically, get her partying, introduce her to some unhealthy coping mechanisms.

someone who recognizes how sad she is? aka someone who’s been in that same position and can really tell she’s faking it every time she says she’s “fine.” this person probably has a sort of fondness for her and keeps reaching out when she pushes away because they know what it’s like.

#gallagher:intro #intro

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