#mostly bc it just defines my life

[maid-of-the-golden-deer]

its p funny when lady alistair romancers talk about him doing the ritual like its the default

like sorry my friend it was MY pc who had the guilt ridden, coerced magic sex with morrigan

[ame-to-ame]

Life is weird as arospec asexual bc there's no good way to use words to describe what I feel and my experience that properly conveys it to allosexual alloromantic people

Even if I use vocabulary meant for this there's no way to grasp what it truly feels like, what the lived experience is like for me, because the allosexual doesn't experience it doesn't understand it

And so it's like trying to convey colors to someone with a different perception of color. They experience a reality different to mine. And maybe perception and sensation is the wrong allegory to use, even. Maybe the stimuli we experience is different in the first place. Maybe the sensation is different. But perception is definitely different. And it's hard to tell at which point do things start to differ.

But either way it's hard and I find it increasingly hard to explain myself or want to explain myself. It's so much easier to adopt that language and that culture aside from the gaping feeling that it's not exactly what you're experiencing. I can co-opt the term crush but what I feel. I know. Is not romantic attraction. Maybe some elements are the same but it's definitely diverged somewhere. But is there really a point in explaining the differences or clarifying that it's different? As long as the final goal is achieved does it really matter? Why am I doing this again.

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

OMG I have an idea

What if a villain hit reader with a love potion and the Yandere JL has to deal with reader being obsessed with one of them until it wears off🙏🙏😭(I LITERALLY LOVE YOUR YAN JL WORKDGHBJB)

A Day in Life: Love Pollen

Synopsis: A day in your life where you get hit with love pollen, get kidnapped, and are rescued by the Justice League.

Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Assistant!Gn!Reader

Tw: 18+; PDA; Dry humping; Kinda public sex bc they're in a deserted island’s beach, so it's basically out in the open but no one’s around; Dubcon/noncon bc, you know, love-and-kinda-sex pollen; Also maybe drugging bc of that; Writer is the Justice League's weakness; Hal Jordan is a little shit; Needles; English is not my 1st language.

Word count: 2,1k

Requested? Yes.

Extra notes: I imagine the League’s marketing will have a hard time after this little stunt, I mean, there's no way no one caught that on camera

General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist

The Legion of Doom had a plan. They invaded a political event in Metropolis, with the presence of the Justice League as the president’s security team, the League being the target. First, Poison Ivy release pollen throughout the whole city, as a distraction, making people hallucinate that they were in love with one another. Crazy in love. It would be okay, if her experiment didn't cause chaos. All over the streets, some people were having sex out in the open, some were fighting and killing because of jealousy and cheating, some were committing robberies to give their “loved ones”. It was pure chaos and only the quick reflexes, powers and gadgets from the League spared the team from getting hit.

Half the team went to deal with the distraction, saving and restraining people, giving them the antidote, etc. The other half, took care of the villains. After a few hours, the Legion of Doom was taken down and the city’s security and health workers took over the job, the chaos being a lot easier to contain since they were spreading the antidote through the air, it would take at least an hour to spread it throughout the whole city, and then the ones who somehow weren't able to breath it, but mostly, just the mess left behind was the real issue.

You were standing with the rest of the crew on the event, watching the League and the politicians discoursing for the press and TV. When the mayhem started, for the first few seconds, you got startled and froze. Looking between the League, the scared crowd, and the villains invading the place. Suddenly, you breathed some thick smoke and your eyes shot to the heroes, silently urging them to do something, when your eyes locked on Green Lantern’s, the pollen’s effect kicked in. You got dizzy, something snapped, and then everything changed.

Wait, when did Green Lantern's jaw got so sharp? And his muscles so defined? Oh, and he was so big and tall. Did he do something to his hair? Wow, his ring is glowing now and he's flying. He's so cool and powerful. A true hero. Shit, he's coming in my direction. Hehe, he's using a construct to lift me and my coworkers to a safer place as if it was nothing. Imagine flying with him every day. How does he look without the mask? Ugh, must be perfect, if his jaw and lips were anything to go by. I can't even see the color of his eyes! And- and please stop looking me in the eyes and touching my shoulders and asking me if I'm okay, of course I am, I'm with you. No. Nooo. Come back here! Let the others deal with the bad guys, I'm right hereee! Nooooo!

You were depressed and deflated the whole time your soulmate was away. A journalist team from outside the city arrived at some point and you were able to watch the fight — Normally, Lois Lane would do the transmission, but she's too busy making out with her cameraman, she was in the crowd too. —. You started crying watching your lover fighting with Sinestro. When he won, and everything was fine, was when you finally calmed down and just started anxiously waiting while ignoring your colleagues strange antics, one of them even hitting on you. Didn't she know you and Green Lantern were in love?

When the League was back, the paramedics were starting to give the crew the antidote, you were next in line, however, as soon as you saw the heroes, you broke into a sprint.

— Green! — You yelled, catching everyone off guard. Even more so when you jumped and hooked your legs around the brunette’s waist, your arms around his neck, and kissed him passionately.

Hal was so shocked that it took him two seconds to reciprocate the kiss, ignoring completely the gasps from his friends. You moaned against his lips, mumbling a jumbled mess of “I love you”, “I missed you”, “was so worried”, “so glad you're back”.

Someone groaned.

— Batman, just give them that damn antidote before I lose it. — Batman grunted and Hal struggled but managed to separate your faces for a moment. You tried to push your face towards his again, but he grabbed your jaw. You kept forcing your face against his hand and whining. It was really cute, and your willingness and the previous sensation of your lips ignited something in his belly, yet, he looked to the side just in time to see Batman preparing the needle, the rest of the League sulking on the side and glaring at him.

His mind worked rapidly, ignoring the texture of your soft lips pampering kisses against the skin of his hand. When he felt the tip of your tongue, he made a decision.

A bad one.

— Yeah. I don't think so. — Green Lantern conjured several chain constructs, chaining the League's arms and ankles to the ground. It wouldn't hold off the ones like Superman and Wonder Woman who were strong enough to break it, and Martian Manhunter who could just invade his mind or use his intangibility, Flash was also pretty capable of taking him on, but Hal was smart and sagacious. Still holding you, he made a rocket construct around you both and took off.

Really, a terrible idea.

Superman and Wonder Woman, in a cry of rage, broke the chains. Diana unsheathed her sword, her feet not even touching the ground anymore, flying, ready to go after the traitor. Martian passed through the construct, while Superman went to break Batman and Aquaman free, Flash vibrated fast to rearrange his particles and also escaped.

— We need a plan. — Batman’s voice stopped the amazon warrior from going in a hunt for blood. He was already stressing over what the marketing team could do to fix this.

— A plan? We can defeat the enemy and retreat my darling if we go now! — Wonder Woman barked.

— Green Lantern is impulsive. If we go now we can destroy the whole state and hurt (Y/N) in the process. He won't give them up easily.

— Batman's right. — Superman agreeds. — Flash, follow them and see where they’re going. — The speedster nodded and took off.

Barry shook his head, cursing his idiot best friend the whole way.

Between the whole team, Hal was clearly the only one who would be okay with you falsely loving them. The rest wanted something more genuine for you. Some of them would settle for you not loving them as much as they loved you, some wanted you to feel exactly the same amount of what they felt. Hal still loved you just like them, but he always had that certain level of insecurity that craved to be better than anyone, to impress, making everything a competition, and the sensation of being the only one to have you could certainly cloud his judgment and accept your love, even if fake. He just thought he could compensate by treating you the right way, and not just using that opportunity to do whatever he wanted with you, just because he could and you wouldn't complain. He could make this about you both, and not just about him.

Either way, every one of them (thought) they deserved their fair chance at winning you over.

— Manhunter, can you still read his mind and tell what he is thinking? — Manhunter nodded and his eyes started glowing, there was a second of silence before he spoke.

— It's getting weaker as he gets more distant. It's purely impulsive thinking. Green Lantern isn't considering the consequences and means no harm against Earth or us. — Batman nodds.

— That's a shame. I mean harm. — Wonder Woman mutters, Batman glared and Superman side-eyed her. Batman turned his communication on.

— Flash, tell us when they stop moving.

— If he touches them, I will personally kill him. — Aquaman darkly states. Superman took a step in his direction, facing him head on.

— No, you won't. — The two stared at one another intently, until Batman broke the silence.

— Focus. We don't have time for this. — The dark knight stated.

— We need to be collected and work as a team to act smoothly on our plan. — Martian reminds them. Wonder Woman steps down again and sheats her sword. They all form a circle and start planning.

The sky was never this blue and the sand never this warm and soft. Even with the warmth of the sun being so intense, you were laying on a palm tree's shadow, and the air was flowing just fine. What was actually making you sweat was the dry humping you and your soulmate were doing.

You don't remember ever getting so aroused in your whole life, and can't remember ever desiring someone so much. You could kill someone if they dared to try and steal him away from you.

Hal felt you carding your fingers through his hair and pull slightly, giving him shiver, and he squeezed the flesh of your hips. You moaned against his lips at a particularly stronger wave of pleasure. The clothes were a curse, stopping you from feeling the real him, so you desperately started clawing at his clothes. Green Lantern breathily chuckled.

— Relax, hot stuff, we have time… — He whispers with a smirk. The man held your hands and laid them on the ground, above your head. You just moaned, more needy, and pushed your hips against his, eliciting a hiss from his red and swollen lips.

His hands started unbottoning your shirt and freeing the fabric out of your pants. You kept your hands were they were and watched, eyes wide open, when he descended kisses from the middle of your chest, going south, only pausing at your waistband.

As much as you wanted to feel his mouth more, seeing him so covered and not being able to properly touch him was making you restless, so you sat up, surprising him, and started pulling up the fabric at the back of his neck. Hal chuckled and shook his head, humoring your needs. He helped you take it off, then pushed your own shirt down your arms, until it was off.

You paused, admiring his adonis body. Your heart raced and eyes watered, never having seen something so perfect your whole life. Even his scars were beautiful. His chest hair and happy trail looked really soft and somehow he looked even more muscled, strong and beautiful. You wonder why you rejected him before.

Hal Jordan basked in your amazed gaze, loving to show off, especially while doing nothing. He frowned weakly, and gave a reassuring grin when you pouted, slumped and frowned.

— What's this, sweetheart? I thought you were enjoying this. — To lift your mood, he started running his hands up and down your sides.

— I wanted to see your face… — Hal remained silent for a few seconds. They would tell you their identities eventually, and that fact kept being brought up on reunions. They all knew at some point, you would have to know, to really start a relationship, yet, Batman, and his paranoia, kept them all from telling you. Sometimes, it felt like a sabotage, but mostly, it made sense, since the guy had a bunch of kids, who could be in danger if the information somehow got leaked, still, you couldn't trust to let them in, if they didn't let you in. That was the only reason you didn't trust them, of course.

Also, a face was not a name. Hal wasn't famous, so how bad could it be? Especially if it would turn you on so much, and when you looked so damn cute. His own lust was also influencing his critical thinking, which was already second place to his impulsiveness.

Hal bit his lower lip and brought his face closer to yours, a few centimeters away from having your noses touching.

— Okay… Take it off… — You let out a happy squeal and reached up with both hands. Your heart pounded with anticipation, making you go slower to savor the intimacy even more. Hal closed his eyes when he felt the gentle tug, against his wishes to watch your eagerness and your lip biting in anticipation. His heart was also pounding.

You saw his right eye closed and his thick eyebrow, when suddenly, a loud noise rang out, scaring the shit out of you and prompting Hal to fix the mask again, get up and assess for danger.

He finally fell to his senses and realized something.

He just took the worst decisions ever.

Everything happened too fast. Flash was on your side, holding a needle to your arm, and Green Lantern was being thrown around by a red and blue blur. Only the feminine rageful scream gave you the hint to who it was.

You got up, ready to die for your soulmate, when the antidote kicked in.

You threw up.

Comment, like and reblog 🥰

DC Taglist:

@wandalfnation @vadersassistant

[basketonthedoorstepofthefbi]

“hungover” - hotch x fem!reader

after a girls’ night in, you wake up next to your boyfriend.

1380 words - FLUFFY FLUFF

cw; mentions of alcohol and food, implied age gap?, typical hangover, jemily agenda (sry not sry)

a/n: I wrote this on my phone on vacation bc I have a serious problem

———————

The first thing you notice when you wake up is that you are not in your clothes.

You aren’t in your clothes. And you only realize it because of the scent wafting up your nose. Sea Salt Breeze - the cologne you’d gotten him for Christmas last year - emanates from the t-shirt that envelopes your upper half. You dip your chin for another whiff, breathing him in deeply. You want the smell inscribed into your brain.

You feel the bed dip and creak and you instinctively shut your eyes, playing possum as Aaron pads into the bathroom. The door whines as he shuts it most of the way, not totally closing it because he thinks you’re still asleep and that the sound of the door shutting will wake you.

Each of your senses turns on one at a time, like your brain waves run on dial-up Internet. You open your eyes and the room is mostly dark, save for the sliver of light creeping in through the outline of the curtains. You run the palm of your hand along Aaron’s sheets and marvel over how soft they are - Egyptian cotton, he’d told you once before.

Your head hurts, but only mildly. You’d certainly been drunker before, but last night was still up there. Penelope made her mojitos strong.

You slowly sit up in the bed as Aaron opens the door, flicking the bathroom light off in the same motion. Your eyes meet his and he cracks a small smile. “Thought you’d still be asleep,” he muses. You love his pale blue boxers and seeing the hair on his legs. His calves are crazy defined - he’s a runner, after all, but still. You rarely see him in anything but a suit and tie, so it’s always a treat. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

You shake your head, wincing slightly at the movement. Maybe you’re a little more hungover than you thought. “I was already awake,” you mumble, running a hand over your face. “Did you put me in your own clothes last night? I have pajamas in my drawer,” you point out, gesturing to the second drawer of Aaron’s dresser, the one that contains your set of pajamas, a few spare pairs of underwear, and a couple of emergency outfits, just in case you end up sleeping over at his place.

It happens more often than not, so you keep the drawer decently stocked at all times.

“You insisted,” Aaron climbs into the bed, reaching for you. He tugs you to him and you roll over onto your side, and then halfway onto your tummy so that your leg drapes over his and your palm rests flat on his chest.

You can hear his heart beating. It’s like a metronome, steady and guiding and calm. You feel his pointed chin nuzzle into your hair and then, his lips, quick yet effective, against your forehead.

Flashes of last night run through your head. You, Emily and JJ, over at Penelope’s apartment. A symphony of girlish giggles, talking about Emily and JJ’s upcoming wedding date, drinking at least three pitchers of mojitos among the four of you. Watching Dirty Dancing and gabbing the entire time, realizing it’d be a bad idea to drive yourself home, and calling Aaron to come get you.

When he arrived, you called him Hotch and apologized for him having to come get you, and he reminded you that he was Aaron and he was your boyfriend and he would pick you up anytime you needed it. You were determined to play the Dirty Dancing soundtrack on the ride home, fumbling with his phone until you found it.

You belted out (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life and demanded Aaron sing along. He admitted that he didn’t know all the words and you gave him a stern lecture until you started laughing so hard that you were in tears. Traffic lights reflected Christmas ornament colors in Aaron’s brown eyes as he drove, occasionally glancing over at you.

You swore you saw the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as you berated him for not knowing the words to such a classic song.

And then, once you were back at his place, you sat on the edge of the bed and stared at your shoes dumbly until Aaron offered to help you take them off. “Laces too hard,” you mumbled, and Aaron just hummed in agreement before kneeling down to help you.

And then he helped you out of your clothes. He went for your drawer, and you threw a pillow at him. “The college t-shirt,” you demanded with these Bambi-esque eyes.

“Arms up, baby,” Aaron said as he slid his law school t-shirt onto your upper half. He saved that specific term of endearment for times like these, when he was taking care of you, when he himself was exhausted. You could tell he was, too, not only because he kept yawning, but because of that glazed-over look in his chestnut eyes.

You glance down at the words George Washington University, printed over your chest.

Aaron’s arms around you tighten for just a moment as he embraces you, and you dig your face a little further into his chest. “No Jack today?” You ask, your voice coming out croaky.

“At his grandparents’,” Aaron murmurs, and you yawn. He strokes your hair. “How’s your head?”

“I haven’t had any complaints so far.”

Aaron’s hand freezes in your hair, and you lift your head, smirking at him. His mouth has formed a straight line, but you snicker and you can tell he’s trying not to smile at your dirty joke. “Degenerate,” he calls you.

“Prude,” you tease back, inching closer to kiss his jaw briefly before laying your head back down. “It hurts,” you answer his question. “But not as bad as it could.”

“That’s good,” Aaron comments, his hand running through your hair again, gently, the world’s most relaxing and least effective hairbrush. It feels nice, but his hands are so big that his fingers snag on the tangles, accomplishing nothing but making you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Nothing wrong with that, though.

“Do you want some Tylenol for your headache?” Aaron asks, and you just curl up into him even more. He’s so warm, and sturdy, and it’s so rare that you get mornings like this. Either you’re both working or Jack has a soccer game or there’s something else going on. It’s nice just to lay around with him, to be mildly hungover and pretend like that’s the only thing going on in either of your lives.

“That would require getting out of bed,” you protest, and feel Aaron’s arms tighten around you. He’s a very doting boa constrictor.

“How about I get it for you, then?” He offers, and you shake your head and shift all your weight onto him. He chuckles, a deep, throaty noise you know you’re only privy to for about twenty minutes right after he’s woken up. “So that’s a no.”

“That’s a no,” you confirm, settling back in to your original position.

You lay like that with him, in comfortable silence, for a few minutes. Until it feels like you’ve melded into one being. Then Aaron finally shifts under you. “Honey, my arm’s asleep,” he whispers, as though he’s afraid to disturb you.

You slither off of him, then clamber out of bed with no amount of grace, going so far as to trip over the corner post of the bed. As Aaron sits up, you exclaim, “I���m okay!” and hold your hands out to steady yourself.

Aaron stifles a laugh and you watch him stand from the bed and he walks towards you, steadying you with one of those gargantuan hands on your shoulder. He then lifts that hand to tip your chin up. You step forward in a silent dance, wrapping your arms around his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him. “Oh, shit,” you murmur. “I bet I have really awful morning breath.”

He just blinks a few times, and then offers you a shit-eating grin. “Yeah, honey, you kind of do,” he admits. You lightly punch him in the pectoral and then head to the en suite to brush your teeth.

[coffinshaped]

I was gushing about CapoVib with friends yesterday and I just had to draw themmmmmm!!! If u wanna hear me ramble rq....

I just wanna talk about why i like this ship so much!!!

I mostly see them together post canon. In my insane delusional mind, I think that Vibiano could always see how truly insecure Capochin was under his confident ficade. He knows this man needs tender love and care, someone to love him the way he deserves to be loved. Someone who can reciprocate his devotion. I think Vibi is usually very self interested and doesnt go out of his way to make people feel good but, Capos different. He wants that man to feel good after all hes been through, he wants to build him up. So in their relationship, I think he'd be very loving and affectionate, No hollow compliments either, he means what he says and wants to make Capo feel loved and handsome! QvQ Capochin, I feel, may be reserved and probably pretty scared to give his heart to anyone else after Inspekta/Hector but again, in MY CRAZY FUCKED UP BRAIN, I think Vibi becomes someone he can trust bc they also have history together. Vibi knew Capo before Inspekta, before all the responsibility and before the tragedy. Vib also seems like he's level headed and laid back. Emotionally mature and nurturing (when he wants to be lol) so Capo can feel at ease with him for fuckin once in his life. He feels safe (he still has reservations tho, hector/inspekta rally fucked him up. He's got trust issues) and develops real feelings for Vibi. The have to take things slow at first, not defining their relationship for a while but once they find their footing and establish their relationship BABYYYYYYYY!!! They become the most obnoxious couple bc theyre both like "WERE SUCH HOT SHIT! YALL HOES CANT TAKE UUUSSSS!!!"

Anyways, rambling over LOL! I JUST LIKE THEM ALOT OKAY!!! I could say more, maybe another time :3c please forgive any poor grammar and lack of punctuation im not a writer lol

[str4ngr]

𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 [ 𝐊Ö𝐍𝐈𝐆 ]

𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐��� | 𝗲𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵 + 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗹𝗲𝘀 |

cw: suggestive, non-human/hybrid könig, slightly dubious consent, fem!reader

notes: an eldritch is a horrific monster, often of otherwordly origin, in this case, a sea monster.

𝐕𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 by the sea, after a hectic chapter of life, was more than the word 'relaxing' defined. you sat at the beach, having woke up to early due to jet lag, but there you were, watching the dark shy turn morning yellow.

watching the strange figure form in the corner of your eye.

you jerked, looking over to your right, curious. that shadow that made no appearance when you looked. sighing, you turned back, bringing your knees to your chest the cold air making the san a little colder under your bare legs.

it was strange, you almost remembered this moment before. maybe when you were younger, maybe when you came to this very same beach after a previous stressful moment.

but you knew he was with you.

freezing cold, yet you didn't flinch, your skin crawled with goosebumps as those same snakes slithered up your arms.

"you are back, meine frau."

his voice was low, right against you ear, a comforting murmur as more of him wraps around you. tentacles, they were tentacles, but you didn't mind, they were soft, a bit wet, but at least not slimy. they slipped under the thin cotton of your night top, slithering up to wrap around the plush flesh of your breasts, twisting to gently pinch on your nipples, making you moan in pleasure.

you whimper, whine, moaning softly as his human appendages wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you into his lap.

"i have missed you so dearly."

his voice was a sweet coo, lips dragging down your ear as the tentacles traveling beyond your collarbone. you sighed as you felt the thin tips of rolling flesh push past your shivering lips, a warm welcome coming from you in a sigh,

"you're so warm, könig."

he chuckled, petting your hair, his tentacles wrapping around your tongue, the suckers doing as their name suggests,

"the sea is not warm, engel."

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

okay just something i wanted to talk about. first of all, i'm not someone who's super involved with other creators on tumblr, mostly bc im a lazy person, so the author i'm talking ab is not someone i'm close too. @frogchiro is a writer that i really look up too, and she was being harassed by an anon and i genuinely am irritated by the kind of behavior the she received because she wrote about octo! könig.

if you don't like something, scroll.

as of right now, I believe she is completely off tumblr, and i hope the best for her.

translation

1. angel 2. my wife

༒︎ 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫; 2023 ༒︎

directory

[craziertogether]

I have a doubt. Yall always say that mileven is bad because:

1- Mike has hidden insecurities

2-El needs independence

But in the monologue Mike finally talked to El about his insecurities and El heard that he loved her for exacly who she was. Why can't El be free if she is in a relationship? It is said that the monologue made them closer.

hi! thanks for my first anon response! i want to make it clear that my argument isn’t mileven is bad because of the fact that mike has insecurities although he definitely does, mike is loaded with mountains of queer coding. and while i agree that el needs independence, i agree more that el’s journey is about accepting herself and finding love beyond male validation.

so with that clarified, i want to attack this as kindly and factually as possible. to begin, what we know about mileven:

established in season 1 w/ mike’s out of place kiss. i want to make a bold claim here but season 1 is the most mileven centric season because of the absence of will’s character. will being gone for the majority of the season is a huge set up for mileven, but even that set up is very weak and centers around mike’s desperation to find will & the pressure from lucas, nancy, dustin, & remarks made by his father. to break it down, mike’s affection towards el doesn’t develop in a natural and romantic manner like we see with other endgame ships (jopper, lumax, & jancy), instead their relationship in this season is defined by mike’s almost paternal/pet owner instincts to help protect el mixed in with his desire to find will. he never actually says anything about her that shows he cares about her romantically and her character that isn’t superficial or in reference to her powers (she looks pretty and then he says they need her bc she is a “weapon”, something he contradicts later in season 3 but it’s not coming from a place of romantic love). we finally get to the kids which does NOT leave el feeling excited and giddy, she actually looks pretty confused and unsure, because a moment ago mike was suggesting she could be his sibling? (foreshadowing 101)

season 2 they spend the entire season apart have a semi-sweet reunion then immediately just kiss again @ the snowball. we left off season 1, with mike being forced to watch el “die” in front of him, but is then given back will who becomes his primary focus of season 2. el’s “death” does NOT make him realize he is in love with her, it instead gives him the strongest case of survivors guilt seen in the show (greater than nancy’s bc nancy got closure through her report mid season). now season 2 remains mostly in mike’s perspective, we see how he is protective of will and cares most about will out of everyone in the group. something that is undeniably debatable, we watch him formulate a plan for will, all because he doesn’t show up to school for one day and then he spends DAYS & NIGHTS with will at his house and at the hospital. now i want to reiterate something, mike ABSOLUTELY cares and cherishes el, but it is not on the level that he does will. mike reached out to el for that entire year and yet even when given signs of life, he doesn’t rush to find her nonstop like he does with will in season 1 (recall will’s breathing that forces mike to even befriend el and lead the party to search for him). when el does return to him, he is overjoyed and angry with jopper for lying. but it’s interesting that he doesn’t hold himself to the same level of anger when he could’ve easily searched for le on his own, but as we recall from season 1, when will is dead (deleted scene but he cries riding his bike home and then sits there and genuinely GRIEVES will and reflects on his drawings). there’s so much to dissect about the snowball scene and how mike is actually yearning for will, but if we ignore that. the dance between them is awkward (same way will’s is), there’s no genuine romantic connection that we really feel, especially since lumax was also just set up in that same season. strangely enough, mike and el’s dance is a combination of the awkwardness of will’s and the friendly nature of dustin & nancy’s. it’s sweet when platonic but is then forcibly reminding the audience that oh yeah they’re romantic when they kiss.

woohoo, season 3! unfortunately this begins the active dismantlement of mileven from the writers. eleven has been safely with hopper and the gang knows that she’s safe. mike and el are established to be dating, but man is their relationship completely lack luster and inconsistent when compared to two canon ships in the show at this time (jancy & lumax). they are not only not even somewhat mature like jancy, fine they’re kids. but they lack depth like lumax, and they’re the same age? the only romantic aspect of mileven at this point is that they kiss, they show signs of physical intimacy and yet none of emotional intimacy. jancy have literally done it & yet we don’t focus on that aspect of their relationship at all this season, why? lumax have also kissed at the same dance last season and yet this season they’re shown bickering and having romantic moments, but el and mike cannot why? it’s clear why, mike and el lack any real connection romantically, they are both bringing in their preconceived ideas of a heterosexual romantic relationship (el thinks this because of the soap operas she’s watched, and mike saw nancy kissing boys growing up and thought that must be what all couples do). aside from superficial kissing, mileven ends up broken up for the majority of the season, which ironically leads to their best work together. though tensions are there, mike holds onto and looks out for el the most when they’re not a couple (the same way he does with his friends lucas & dustin). speaking of breakups, if you don’t see the insane contrast between byler rain fight and mileven mall breakup, literally ONE episode apart, mike’s in the same position of being called out for his shit behavior. and yet only one time does he apologize with sincerity and show his genuine apologetic nature. you mentioned that mike has insecurities but i think the more interesting part of this is that starting from this season we lose mike’s POV ENTIRELY. we only see it 4 times. when el dumps him, when will and him fight in the garage, and when el tells him she loves him and kisses him, and when the byers are gone and he comes home and hugs his mom. we are only shown his genuine vulnerable nature at these 4 critical moments and in those moments it’s interesting that only two is he genuinely sad, and the two containing el show genuine confusion and uncertainty.

season 4 sets up a love triangle (V) between mike, will, & el for ONE reason ONLY. p.s. this season basically disintegrated mileven as a ship. now i’ll get to the monologue soon i promise. but i have to say this, even if you don’t ship byler, you have to admit that the writers are setting up something strange with a love triangle. every other love triangle in the show has been set up for one purpose and purpose only, to put a character in an uncomfortable position and force them to choose between the two interests. in s4 mike is INTENTIONALLY set up to be this guy who struggles to tell his girlfriend that he loves her. (WHY? when last season he was able to scream it and she responded positively to it) and then is set up to be the LOVE INTEREST of his best friend and have MULTIPLE heart to hearts and literal episodes apart arguments/apologies (s3 callback) between el and will. WHY do that again unless you are trying to show how conflicted your character is? (reminder this is a fictional show where every word and prop is intentional). now onto the monologue. i first want to say that if you have proof from writers or netflix that say that the monologue was acc helpful to el, please provide them! but i won’t break down the entire monologue there are much better analyses out there. what i will say is, it’s impossible to say that monologue came from mike alone. most aspects of it came from 2 other monologues, will’s from the van (aka a literal love confession from will to mike) and eddie (his little boy crush who is trying to motivate the hellfire club to defy the social norms). if you rewatch the monologue, you’ll see that mike saying “ily” to el, each time it does not help her. instead each time it causes vecna to get a better hold onto her and max and her face does not look relieved. el’s memories with max LITERALLY plays right before she finds the strength to break free. showing that she finds strength through others yes, she doesn’t need independence so much as she needs lasting bonds. interestingly, she also finds this strength as a result of mike’s monologue, but not the “ilys”. it’s actually because mike calls on her to fight. platonically his push to get her to fight works but when he tried to romantically get her to fight, she’s weakened even more. and finally, if that monologue was actually helpful. why did eleven not talk to mike ONCE after they arrived in hawkins? he instead ends the season having a heart to heart with will about WILL’s feelings, reaches out to touch will, and stays by will when they’re in top of the hill. he feels comfortable and safer with will than he does with el.

i hope this better explains why we don’t see mileven as the endgame ship, it’s just been beaten down and shown to be superficial since the beginning. even without byler, the ship mileven just lacks depth like others do. thanks again for the ask! (i love anon asks please feel free to ask if you’re a mileven, open to byler, or ever have byler doubt)

[t1oui]

my headcanons for the sexualities of the 7 & why

percy - queer. he's had people labeling him his whole life, so something more vague that he can define for himself makes him more comfortable. he's the gay dad of camp halfblood btw

annabeth - bisexual. mostly bc i love love love percabeth but can totally see annabeth liking girls & i love lgbt4lgbt percabeth

jason - pansexual or aroace. aroace bc i don't strongly ship him with anyone and pansexual for when i am shipping him - pan specifically bc i'm aro and i used to think i was pan lol.

piper - sapphic. this is pretty much just canon but i like it for a similar reason to percy - it's a more fluid label than lesbian or bi

leo - bisexual. he's such a romantic that i'm automatically like "give him more options!!" even tho i don't really ship him w anyone. bro is bi himself

hazel - heteroflexible & ace. i think she is mostly into guys but occasionally feels a lil something towards a girl (like annabeth... or piper... or both)

frank - demiromantic. i couldn't think of anything for him and then was like oh he's friends w hazel before he dates her! arospec moment! so yeah.

[nights-at-crystarium]

i just wanted to pop by and gush about how incredibly well written vivi is because GOD. his story unfolding has made me reconsider several story beats about my wol and thats an amazing thing

theres two things that i think uve done especially well with his storytelling, being that vivi feels like an almost complete enigma to the reader, despite how intimate this story is, and the fact that vivi feels incredibly human - almost TOO human to be comfortable with

so to elaborate on the first point - i think a lot of us (and certainly i can) echo thancreds sentiment that he doesn't know vivian rell, because as intimate as this story can get with his pov, in the end, much like someone you'd meet in real life, we don't know much about him before the point we meet him, and any glimpses we get just signal that theres so much more to him than we get to see. and as much as we DO know about him, i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering. to that end i really like how enigmatic uve made him from a storytelling perspective, because it makes him feel so much more real!!! i honestly look forward a lot to learning more fragments (heh) of him and slowly piecing together a puzzle of him as the story goes on. i just want to rotate him in my head lol

but also, this does segue into my other point really well, which is the fact that vivis position as wol really seems to wear on him, and he seems for lack of a better word, completely exhausted! i know (myself included) write their wols with a trait of an almost unbreakable, iron will, which is very much still true in vivis case (again, anyone who gets to the point of shadowbringers without flat out giving up is incredibly strong by default) but showing him at his wits end, exhausted with the burdens of a hero, someone just so throughly *done* with what is, realistically, a pretty shit job is well... yeah! of course he is! he's only human, and he's what, saved the world 3 times now? seen countless die before him, powerless to save them, of course he's numb. the fact that the most defining experiences of the first for him are filled with mostly such... benign experiences, and that the major, climatic moments of shadowbringers get as much fanfare as a forlong gaze, or a like. him hanging out with his fairy bestie is such a cool storytelling decision. (also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot) basically, what i've been gushing about is the fact that vivi feels very much like a whole person, and is probably one of the most well realised wols ive ever read about. and his relationships with the world leaders, and this impossible burden hes forced to shoulder has gotten me to reconsider how i write my wol, because yeah! any hero might be strong-willed and resilient, but theyre still human, and the burden of a warrior of light is maybe, a little too much for anyone to bear.

i hope u could at least make something out of my rambles, but honestly to sum it all up i am incredibly captivated by vivi. i originally read fragments because i like ANY wolgraha content but now, i come back almost exclusively to see how vivi's story unfolds, and how graha eventually comes into the fold too. hes such a fascinating character, and i think youve done an incredible job of creating a well rounded hero, full of humanity!!! (also, if you want, feel free to post this on ur blog!!)

I think I shat myself like 5 times while reading this (positive)

Vivi being an enigma wasn't really part of the plan. We have a pool that's his lore, things I wanna tell, and a bottleneck through which it has to go. The comic format forces me to consider what bits of info to deliver when, there's only so much I can tell at a time. One deliberate choice I made is completely burn the bridge between ARR and ShB, skip, leave it empty. That already sparks questions when we see a different Vivi at the beginning of ShB (and gives me leeway, time to write with more nuance, I didn't Think about HW-SB in such scrupulous detail as ShB).

I wanted to tell a primarily ShB story from the start, but had less ambition, and planned to condense the angsty bits that you're reading nowadays into an infodump told by Vivi to no one (to the reader). Changing the receiving party to a tangible character who's eager to learn (Exarch) made the info easier to digest and anchored it in the world. This change, fwiw, happened in like 2022 while I drew the ARR arc, saw the warm reception, and got more excited about my thing. I constantly learn and try to improve, writing's a new toy that brings me tons of fun.

So, when I learned the new trick - telling things through other characters - I thought, why not make everyone slightly wrong, or rather, with a specific snapshot of Vivi in their head. Same happens irl, people only know the version of you that they're exposed to, the only person who knows the full and real you is you.

That brings me to the next point, why Vivi feels so human: I made him not as a wol/hero, but a guy I wanna ship with Exarch, his foil. Obligatory note it was dumb of me to ignore Emet's existence in that case, but that's already changed. Exarch denies himself the simple human joys, he plots his own fucking death, so I thought I'd give him a guy that teaches him how to enjoy being alive again. That was THE foundation of Vivi, his core. He's a manic pixie dream boy.

Then I started asking how and why: why he falls for Exarch specifically instead of ARRRaha? He's confident, selfish, casual (these traits are what Exarch lacks), emotionally intelligent, where did that come from? He must've had an utterly normal life and loving family before he became a hero. He grew up being appreciated and happy. OH, then his ass must LOATHE the current situation because he can't go back to that normal life! So on, so forth.

i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering.

This's me carefully dropping the breadcrumbs and hoping that you notice them, and you go HOLY SHIT BREADCRUMBS, this's so validating ;w; <3 This's overtly called a story hook, though I prefer "door". So far this story's only opened doors, as in hinted at more stuff without immediately showing it. I love it when questions get delayed answers, when you get time to stew on it and build up anticipation, then, when the door finally closes, it's much more satisfying. I keep in mind all the doors I've opened, if something provokes a question, it's by design.

(also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot)

You're 100% correct!! I'm not retelling the canon ShB story from a default wol pov, this's a custom thing focused on ships, therefore anything that doesn't contribute to said ships gets cut. You may read what's NOT shown as what Vivi doesn't pay attention to.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, this gave me so much motivation like you wouldn't know ;//////;

[ellstronaut]

Going back to this debate

I know Ellle is a multifaceted individual that much is obvious she’s not one dimensional she has many elements to her personality. Additionally, it’s important to remember that even on the spectrum of masculine and feminine, Ellie isn’t completely one or the other. She exists in some sort of grey area between them, embodying both masculine and feminine traits. She’s not defined by one end of the spectrum, but rather by the interplay of these two extremes.

Yet at times the characterisation of Ellie is laced with internalised misogyny. And highlights the way “masc presenting” lesbians are treated in real life tied down to the “man” in the relationship why is Ellie mostly written as the dominant one especially when coupled with fem reader why do we head canon her as a top when it’s literally canon that she’s a switch? Why is there an infinite amount of “ellie taking care of the reader on her period” scenarios outnumber “Reader taking care of Ellie on her period” Ellie written as tall towering over fem reader and not like she’s literally 5’5

The fact is that there’s a heteronormative slant to the way people write her. Like I said almost never written as a switch, but a top. To some extent been portrayed as tall and dominating, never small or vulnerable. And Santa Barbara Ellie is often sexualized even though she is deeply traumatized and emotionally tormented. The problem is that people are viewing her through male-centric lenses, reducing her to an object of desire rather than a fully fleshed out woman with a complex, nuanced personality which includes many dimensions, some of which may be considered feminine.

There is no specific way to be a “masc lesbian” a woman nor feminine and express your femininity. Nor should that separate her from her womanhood/femininity. in a way it’s her way of showing how feminine she is. maybe not stereotypically through outward appearances, but her general identity. she’s a woman who experiences the same struggles that women do, Obviously she doesn’t waver just on the lines of black and white, she’s all rounded. In between. Grey area. The point I’m trying to make is that she’s all and above, you can be both masc and fem. I would add that Ellie's femininity is often overlooked or even belittled by people who only focus on traits that appeal to them. Not her emotional intelligence, her caring nature, her resilience, her dedication to her loved ones. Fuck she’s also a soft heart and a tender soul. These aspects of her are just as important to her character, she is a whole person ffs, exceptionally fleshed out

So fuck

“the hot wife and her hot boyfriend”

Why not

“The hot wife and her hot wife”

“She’s so boyfriend

Uh

“She’s so girlfriend”

Santa Barbara/Seattle is literally at her most vulnerable, disheveled state that girl is literally plagued with trauma, stuck in a limbo of “do I seek vengeance in the name of losing my family and absolutely everything or stay and suffer in silence (at who’s expense?? Hers) Yet we sexualise tf out of her, the most vulnerable pinnacle of existence—glorified and romanticised bc it’s “hot”

this is not a dig at anyone you’re free to write whatever tf you want bro it’s your platform but pls let’s not bs and pretend as of this doesn’t occur

[cbrownjc]

Hi! Love all you have to say abt dm & theories for the show. I was wondering, do you think its possible for armand to turn daniel seemingly out of spite, but actually of genuine love? And for that to still be accurate to the heart of their book relationship?

I like the theory of marius being the one who wiped daniel’s memories and therefore being harder to recover than when armand did it. if 2x05 is the reason daniel is doing the interview like rj hinted at, it feels like an introduction of just how much daniel’s own gaps of recollection really plague him. Especially with the end of 2x05, daniel saying he fucked up his daughters and two marriages but kept up his career, he’s realizing the amount his life has been influenced by altered/erased memories.

Daniel’s feelings towards sex & personal relationships are either shallow or regrettable (sex as entirely transactional, stealing playboy magazines to sell, “save it for rent boy”, “my side of the social contract”, “i could be on my knees”, fucking the girl w a bag on her head, alice being pregnant and daniel not gaf, daughters no longer speaking to him etc) After revealing Armand’s true role in the trial, I could see it trigger a spiral in Daniel’s selfhood- maybe not right in that moment but eventually, how much of himself has been manipulated? How much of him has been defined by time he cant recall? He didn’t accept louis’ s1 offer to be turned bc that was before he realized the magnitude of his unknowing, and now he Needs to know. And the more he reflects the more holes he finds.

Armand knows daniel’s Parkinson's is getting worse and is now watching him die tortured by all his own inconsistencies, and in reviewing his life he’s coming face to face with how intimacy was always little more than transaction- his career of interviewing itself being example. He’s watching daniel lose function believing he never had meaningful connection, meaningful sex, and never truly loved or was loved. Because he can’t remember having it with armand.

Quite the opposite of an easeful death. If armand meets with him I’d imagine daniel would be quite angry and aggressive, setting the tone for a layered scene. I dont think show armand could stand letting daniel die suffering emotionally and physically, and daniel isnt going to accept “rest” with the truth of his past unknown. So if armand turns him before daniel has his memories, it could very well be so daniel has the capacity to remember how loved he is. I honestly can’t see how their turning could happen accurate to their show characters without love as the main drive

Thanks for reading :>

Hello,

So first of all, I want to apologize for taking so long to answer this ask. It has basically been almost a year since you sent it, so you might not even care for the answer I have to give at this point. But I always wanted to answer it, but my personal life was just taking up too much time and energy for most of the second half of last year (mostly dealing with a surgery I was having).

And I will say, all the time that has passed before answering this has given me more time to reflect on the answer to the question you asked.

And the answer is that no, it absolutely is possible that the show could have had Armand turn Daniel out of spite. But if the show did really have Armand do so for that reason, then they have not only gutted Devil's Minion, but they would have also seriously gutted Armand's character. And will have gutted it all in a way that there would be absolutely no recovery from. None whatsoever.

However, I don't think the show has actually done that. And that the "spite" thing is a total misdirect. And I don't think my thinking so is just wishful/hopeful/copium thinking.

So first, let's look at the definition of the word "spite":

To deliberately hurt, annoy, or offend (someone).

If Armand really turned Daniel out of spite, then who was he trying to hurt by doing so? (Or annoy, or offend?) The quick, easy answer is, of course, Daniel himself.

And, ignoring what we know from the books, the context for why Armand would want to hurt Daniel is all right there, over the course of Season 1 and 2. We know he never wanted the second interview to happen. We saw what Armand did to Daniel after the first interview back in 1973.

And we saw Daniel destroy the whole house of cards that Armand and Louis' relationship was built on. How did Daniel put it? "77 years based on a seismic lie!"

And then, of course, we know very well that Daniel rejected Louis' offer to become a vampire in the present day, back in Season 1. Something Daniel asked, almost begged for back in 1973, Daniel appears to not want at all in any way anymore.

And, again, ignoring the books for now, Armand is presented as being a big manipulator by the final episode of Season 2. One of the highest order, having orchestrated Claudia's death and (from Daniel's presentation of it) also trying to set up Louis to die with her. And then erasing both Louis and Daniel's memories after the first interview in 1973.

All of these are things that give great context as to why Armand -- as we see him up to the end of Season 2 on the show -- would see turning Daniel as a spiteful thing to do. Why turning Daniel would be a hurtful thing to do to Daniel, and why Armand would have a reason to want to hurt him.

However, this is where knowledge of the books comes into play. Because while Armand did give us a bit of insight into how he feels about turning someone into a vampire on the show -- that it disgusts him, the very idea of it does, and that he's never done it ever before because of that (which all lines up with his character in the book) -- there is even more, specific insight he gives in the books about his thoughts on turning someone into a vampire:

"I would not do that to those whom I find to be despicable, whom I would see burning in hell as a matter of course."

Hating someone, wanting to hurt someone he hates, would never be a reason for Armand to turn them. Not if the show, in any way, plans to stay true to Armand's character.

We must remember that it was Louis who declared that Armand had turned Daniel out of spite. Daniel didn't agree or disagree with that comment from Louis about it, and, of course, we've heard nothing of Armand's POV on the subject.

The passage I screenshot and quoted from above comes from the Devil's Minion chapter, from right after Armand lets Daniel out of the cage he locked him in for 3-4 days, after Daniel came stumbling into Lestat's Garden District house. Right before Armand and Daniel's cat-and-mouse chase is set to begin. Something that we have yet to see on the show, but I feel 99% sure did happen in the past between the two of them, given all the context clues the show has sprinkled through its first two seasons.

Clues that, if you had no idea that The Chase was even a thing (let alone their romance that came from it), you could easily miss.

However, the idea of Armand turning Daniel out of spite works as a very good, very believable misdirect if all you know about Armand's character comes from the TV show.

And yeah, you could have Armand turn Daniel out of spite, and then have them fall in love later. But to do so would be to change Armand's character in a pretty 180-degree way from what he is in the book.

It also changes the whole heart of Armand and Daniel's relationship into something that is the antithesis of what it was. Which was a reverse of the vampire-falls-in-love-with-a-human trope. Yes, the vampire learns more about the human world via the relationship, but in the case of Devil's Minion, the human in question -- Daniel -- lost his humanity over the course of the relationship. Therefore, making either his death or turning, by the end, inevitable.

Armand turning Daniel before any of that happens? Armand turning Daniel out of a desire to hurt him? Armand turning Daniel in order to hurt him, not loving him in any way, but maybe falling in love with him later, afterward? No. That is an entirely different story with two entirely different characters.

I'm actually in a place now, almost a year later, where I'm okay if Daniel doesn't remember a past relationship with Armand at the moment. I'll think it's weird and off-book if Daniel really doesn't remember a past relationship after having been turned, since -- in the books -- Jesse Reeves very much remembered everything her mind had been clouded over with by her Aunt Maharet, wrt vampires after she was turned. And Maharet is not just a Child of the Millennium, but a part of The First Brood, even older than Marius.

So the fact that Marius might be the one who altered Daniel's memories (and yes, I do still think that Marius is the one who did it) really shouldn't have much bearing on whether Daniel remembers anything of a past relationship with Armand after he's turned, going by the books. He should remember it. If he doesn't, then I'll be slightly worried that a past relationship actually didn't happen (which I've already laid out what the problem with that would be) unless Armand himself fully clarifies otherwise later on that yes, one did (and we finally get flashbacks to it).

So, yes, this basically all boils down to whether the show is going to stay true to the heart of the characters, particularly Armand's character, when it comes to the very idea of him turning someone out of "spite."

And, at the moment, I do think they are, and the whole "spite" thing was strictly Louis' -- and Louis' alone -- read on the whole situation, based on very little that I think Louis actually knows about it all. (I don't think Louis knows anything about Armand and Daniel having had a relationship together in the past, nor do I think Daniel was turned in Dubai and then was just left there for Louis to find him after Armand did it.)

And that, most of all, it is all a misdirect being played for the sake of the general audience who only know of Armand what has been shown, framed, and presented on the TV show up to this point.

And by the end of Season 2, with everything that has happened and been revealed up to that point, the show presenting the idea that Armand would do something like that out of spite is not only believable, but possible.

But, in the end, I very much think it will be revealed not to be true at all.

Again, I'm so sorry it took so long for me to answer this. 😊

[zuzuelectricbugaloo]

Toffee got me on a writing kick for Epic so let's go: Zuzu rambling commence! (I'm sorry)

Epic adoring kids and being good with them is one of my favorite expanded and elaborated upon iterations of his character. Epic's personality is warm and welcoming, a people-person who knows and just gets people far more than most, and that's both an innate characteristic and one he'd cultivated over time as well.

It's born out of a genuine care, to make others happy and be this goofy "larger than life" persona he'd meticulously cultivated, but the reason why Epic is so caring and part of his love language is acts of servitude and physical comfort is mostly because of how Gester would both physically abuse and emotionally neglect him through the experiments and Gester and his followers' belief that Epic wasn't a true monster and was a mere "thing" for them to use right from the moment of his creation.

He's learned to be as smart as he is in reading others emotionally bc he'd have to know cues in case he'd be threatened physically or emotionally. Such as the way Gester's face would be impassive, giving the look of someone bored, when his tense shoulders and the harsh grind of his jaw would betray his true fury, and the experiments that day would be cruel and harsh and Epic would have to appease or amend Gester's mood if he wanted his treatment to at least be somewhat eased.

It was ingrained into Epic from the moment of his creation that his worth is defined by his productivity and or how he could help others. With Gester and the followers, it was how well he performed on their tests and soon on their experiments and complex machinery. With Mettaton and the ghosts, albeit not quite intentionally, they'd reiterate this same principle in responding to Epic more when he'd have assisted them somehow or were productive to society because as ghost monsters, were aligned with Epic in that that was how they'd been treated by other monster species and carried on that harmful belief onto Epic.

Epic's high emotional intelligence and adoration of kids all correlate and circle back to his trauma and how he was shaped by it and adapted to it. Epic craving love and affection while simultaneously believing himself to be undeserving of it, that he had to earn it. That being cared for and taken care of wasn't a right, it was something Epic had to bargain and prove himself for.

He's learned to be as smart as he is in reading others emotionally because he'd have to know these nonverbal cues to protect himself in the likelihood that he'd be threatened physically or emotionally. He adores children just because, but also in part because he wants to give to them what he lacked as child himself.

And I feel like the first time he got genuinely frustrated while raising Packs--because no matter how much you adore them, the truth is kids are so much work, they take a huge toll on you, regardless on if you have a "well-behaved" child or not.

Epic yells at Packs, unintentionally repeating what Gester had said and done to Epic "I need to work! Why can't you stop being useless and leave me alone?!"

And poor Packs is terrified and sobs, still reaching to Epic for comfort even when he flinches when Epic gets close because Epic is a source of comfort, and Epic realizes in horror what he's done.

"Oh. Oh, stars. I...I'm doing the same thing he did..." He slowly moves, opening his arms, and Packs jumps into them. Epic hugs him tight as he sobs into his coat, gently rubbing his back and rocking them both as he tries to soothingly murmur and calm him down passed the wedge in his throat.

"I'm sorry sweetie. I'm so sorry. You did nothing wrong. You're just...You're literally just a kid. I'm sorry." He kisses his baby brother's forehead and silently promises to never, ever let this happen again. Studying ever parent book and website he can, being a gentle but firm parent to Packs and not once letting himself ever fall into harmful behaviors. Determined to never hurt Packs or any child, be it emotionally, verbally, or physically. That is how Epic can be helpful and worthy of caring for others and being cared about.

[freyafrida]

rilla of ingleside, chapter nine

Ironically, many actual German Canadians at the time were Mennonites and pacifists. (Not that that helped them -- even if their pacifism proved that Germans weren't inherently violent and militaristic, people's suspicion that they were loyal to the Kaiser was amplified by their refusal to enlist and prove their loyalty to Canada/Britain instead.) The anti-German sentiment in this book -- and WWI in general -- is like...morbidly compelling to me, probs bc my mom is Japanese-American and being classed as enemy aliens and interned is the defining Thing that happened to everyone's older relatives growing up, so I'm v. fascinated to see it happen from the other perspective here -- the characters very quickly and casually start thinking of Germans as like, a concept; they fret over Canada becoming Germanized seemingly without knowing that there are already Germans there and what they're actually like; Canada would be interning people (mostly Ukrainians bc they were from the Austro-Hungarian empire, and some Germans) as well, not that it ever comes up. In total fairness, not that Susan would probs ever meet a German person in her life -- although Halifax historically had a decent German population, I think that's as close as it would get to PEI?

Catholicism mentioned \o/ Also legitimately dickish behavior from Whiskers unrelated to his pacifism, but again, he's so obviously contrived to be Wrong About Everything that it's hard to take seriously, you know?

Assuming she heard it from Jane, but the idea of Anne even knowing what Billy Andrews is up to is killing me. Fascinating that all of Anne's friends ended up so far away from each other!

God, just...gutted for Mrs. Anderson :( I don't think I ever thought much of Jim Anderson upon initial readings, but this is really driving home that he was the worst.

“Rilla was presiding over Jims’ afternoon siesta upstairs”

I know siestas have been around for ages, but referring to a nap as a "siesta" sounds so modern to me that I had to pause for a moment.

also ngl the first few times I read the book I actually skimmed the part with Doc and didn't get it 😭 I wanted to get to the character/war stuff and it wasn't until like my fourth reread that I was like "wait. the cat has his head stuck in a can." Absolutely amazing.

glossary! Mainly did not know that "hydrophobia" meant rabies:

Readying Rilla bits:

It was originally written that the old Rilla would have rushed "upstairs" instead of "off to Rainbow Valley" to cry.

The pudding Susan is going to make is originally mentioned to be Jem's favorite -- I want to say that's replaced with another food later in the book?

Cut line from Susan saying "As long as I can handle a pitchfork" after she says it will take more than that to make a German of her. Am curious if she's like...suggesting she'd make a final stand with a pitchfork?

"keep a cat" is replaced by "keep a Satanic animal" lmaooo.

[mosaic-briar]

Magnis Archives Fear Disection!

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TW: gore, animal violence, parental death, murder, road kill, paranoia, my own typeos and spelling errors

I'm curious if ppls real fears changed or stayed the same after mag.

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Does anyone else have an ick that over powers their fear ? Like, with the Magnus Archives, I dont ever skip any content unless it really forces me down. There are maybe 4 or so episodes I've never listened to despite running the full podcast through 3 times (including interviews!)

But it isnt my deeply rooted fears that break me its the stuff that is too gross to handle visualizing, like the animal violence. Its crazy I'll never know what happens to meat on the killing floor and that British man cannot make me! The moment he starts going on about collective animal anguish across the planet I am reaching, fumbling for my phone.

Which leads me to one of my favorite questions to ask other fans!

1. Do you find one of the fear categories to be the worst ? Did it change over the run of the podcast ? How do you define one fear as greater than another ?

I assumed issues dealing with mental health, feeling dirty, or the literal episodes that mimic symptoms from my disorders but it turns out I find it irrational to consider anything scarier than just striaght up being gored or burned alive. I thought the horrors of my mind were the worst, but after Mag, you can lock me up and play bad doctor any day. Just keep that cow murder shit away from me !!

I always go back and forth on if this means my fear of physical violence is greater or just more pratical? Where do you guys fall? *tw! Ive always found the mag fandom to be nothing but safe and friendly so I'll overshare a bit so you can really see the riddle here: my mental health symptoms make visual images a real danger to me so I cant ever FULLY decide if its the fear of the gore im seeing or the upsetting implications. Road kill is very common but if I can't look away from it while driving it can be enough drop me down. If you have general anxiety, imagine trying to tell yourself not to think about something because it'll upset you. Probably won't work, and if you think it is mostly visuals, that means you keep pinging the picture back to the front of your mind. For me, road kill is gross and but its also tragic and triggering because of the real and horrific murder of my own mother. For me, the fact that we are driving past something we know is dead and is left open like that just cannot be handled. As you can imagine thats no good if you are trying to keep up with functioning in real life bc it just isn't possible for society to accommodate your level of sensativity to stimulation. (which , lol, yeah thats just what it means to be mentall ill) My point is just that examining the show is really enjoyable because it lets me disect the cross points of fears safetly.

Also, I got to be a random named background character from supporting the paeron and I!!! didnt!!!! die!!! to!!!! bugs!!!!!!!!! So its a victory !!!! I can tell you which episode if want I ended up with a crazy fun random imo.

Actually, after some reflection I dont mind the spiral people who dont want you to sleep, but I'd actually firmly like the bitch who burns people until their bones melt to leave my house asap.

[gaylittlebillionaires]

the terror characters as songs from the white album (the beatles by the beatles)

inspired by the hickey playlists both having a beatles song on them and also by my own terror playlists (which i’ll post at some point i’m sure), i started thinking about it and then couldn’t stop until i made this

john irving

starting off strong, this song is what made me make this post mostly just bc i think it’s so fucking funny as a jirv song. but it also does tie in with his moral superiority complex and deeply-seated repression (and JACKO MENTION ‼️ ofc)

francis crozier

i think one of the most defining aspects to francis’s character is the sheer exhaustion he feels from the overwhelming weight that is on his shoulders. this emphasises his frustration of his position in society, of being rejected by sophia, of being overlooked. also ties in with his alcoholism and self-hatred.

cornelius hickey

famously, the song that supposedly inspired the murders of charles manson. while my guitar gently weeps is also a Certified Hickey song ofc but i wanted to use something that wasn’t on dave’s playlist. honourable mention: piggies - also very him and his disillusionment with authority.

james fitzjames

for the uninitiated, julia was written about john lennon’s late mother julia who he was estranged from for a long time (having grown up with his aunt and uncle) before meeting her again as a teenager and then having her tragically die shortly. i feel this ties in with a lot of james’s conflict over the nature of his birth very well. also OCEAN MOTIF!!! :) honourable mention: cry baby cry - i almost made this the jfj choice for “can you take me back where i came from, brother can you take me back?”

harry goodsir

if anyone on the expedition is the son of mother nature it is goodsir. his deep devotion to and unending appreciation of the beauty of the natural world (even in the face of horror) is so definitive to his character to me.

edward little

i apologise for giving ned one of the suicide songs on this album but it’s so him i had to i’m sorry. even just for the line ‘lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime’ alone. also the concept of ‘needing a fix’ ties in with him aiding crozier’s alcoholism by stealing the alcohol for him.

thomas jopson

now this is THE jopson death scene song to me. the juxtaposition of the descriptions of the overindulgent english desserts and the imagery of pain, sweat, and rotten teeth is very fitting. i have sooo many thoughts on this one actually and jopson’s internal conflict over and resentment towards his position.

john bridgens

objectively the sweetest love song on the album and the one that i think best encapsulates bridgens and his deep devotion to peglar.

thomas blanky

of everyone in the show, blanky definitely encapsulates the ‘life goes on’ attitude the most, even in death. also pretty certain this man is the only one on the entire expedition with a happy marriage (besides franklin.)

silna

i feel like this fits w silna’s struggle to control tuunbaq and the concept of ‘waiting [her] whole life for this moment.’ also giving this to her just because she deserves something nice and it’s a lovely song.

[nitrochrome]

Clickbait Title: SONIC SPINDASHED INTO MY LIFE 5 YEARS AGO AND CHANGED EVERYTHING

march 9th is an important date for me bc that's when my sonic hyperfix started. it may be silly and I might not be the biggest sonic fan out there, but the influence both this character and the series had on me is just incredible and I can't describe it because of how awesome it is!! sonic literally pulled me out of a depression back then, gave me a million positive emotions, new friends, and defined my future path in creativity and life in general.

I'm mostly nostalgic about it because 5 years is a LONG time and hyperfix didn't last THAT LONG, but somehow it feels like everything is still ahead. both for me and for the series. at least right now, there's a lot of new and really good Sonic content coming out (like the 3rd movie or frontiers), and that makes me genuinely happy!!