#mostly bc it just defines my life
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tbh its a little darkly funny to me that my misophonia is so bad that even my family who usually refuses most explanations for why im Like That and go "no no no youve got absolutely nothing wrong with you and youre a perfectly neurotypical abled person" heard me say i might have misophonia and immediately went "yeah that sounds about right"
#sometimes it gets watered down and i dont really think they Get It and think its more abt me refusing to get past it#but its wild how this is the one illness i am just like 100% sure about and do not have any paranoia that im faking whatsoever#mostly bc it just defines my life#i mean all that other stuff does too but this is the one thing that just rules over me and makes day to day stuff so difficult#and just sorta. informs me as a person i guess.#i could get into how lonely and shitty it feels to have it and how it feeds into my paranoia that im a disgusting person deep down#and makes me worry ill never be able to live with people or have people want to stay with me once they realize how debilitating it is#but i wont do that for now. lol
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ruminating on 'the vees died despondent nobodies' thoughts
velvette interrogates vox after she hears him give various conflicting and bombastic accounts on air. a selection of these include: blew his brains out on live television, administered the death penalty for killing his "bitch wife," a tragic accident involving two shetland ponies, dubiously legal iranian yogurts, and a whole lot of cocaine. the actual cause was shockingly ordinary- a heart attack in front of the television, alone, his corpse only recovered after two weeks passed. he was watching a game show and his last mortal regret was never even learning who won, because he died during the commercials.
#vox#velvette#haven't settled on what i think is a satisfying cause of death for velvette#running on 'a fight that escalated with her shitty then-boyfriend while trying to film something'#mostly bc i'm thinking of her recounting this to vox and telling him the thing she most regrets is that he was ugly as sin#and now his mugshot is permanently stapled to news of her death#but i'm not mega attached to this or anything#(the thing she ACTUALLY most regrets#is that the people she knew probably took more interest in how she died than who she was alive#that the most notable thing about her was something she didn't even do#and even the tragedy of her death to those who heard about it is in how bitterly commonplace it is)#wait this is actually thematically perfect. because in hell she's STILL in some ways defined by her proximity to two men#/yes/ her followers and fans are captivated by her separate from voxval. but she's inescapably regarded through the lens of the vees#both in the 'what's the niche velvette fills in the vees' sense but also through her relationships to val and vox#she's velvette. but she's never Just Velvette. she is always One Of The Vees#who she is to vox and valentino is what Velvette(tm) is#she can play every role to the public. their beleaguered 3rd wheel. their Sane Friend. partner (business). partner (romantic/sexual)#how do i fit that alongside:#'the people of hell like velvette because she's unfiltered. raw. authentic. mean girl who says what she wants w/o caring'#with a hammer and a lot of grit#i do think that's usually what she thinks of herself. at least consciously and these actually aren't mutually exclusive#you know how i said i'm not super attached to this backstory. whoops i have convinced myself of it!#if not the above specifics the 'the most remembered thing about velvette's life is how she died' angle#as it turns out this post is actually about velvette. i need to think about my evil babygirls Themes#i had something to say about vox and gameshows but thats enough footnotes for now i think
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back to self-analyzing what the fucks going on in my brainium
#txt#i need to go back to a therapist methinks#cuz why am i only now reading about OSDD-1a#bc errrmmmmmmm.........................#i know C-PTSD is very comorbid with dissociative disorders#but like given things ive experienced and struggled with its always felt like there's something More going on idk#idk it's like...i can see OSDD CPTSD or even...BPD i guess#but its just like i dont feel like ONE of those fits me its like i relate to a bit of all three#mostly so CPTSD but thats bc DUH I HAVE CPTSD#my lifes been trauma after trauma there's definitely not simply ONE traumatic event that's defined me#also wondering in another area if it's just adhd autism overlap#or maybe i AM autistic afterall just VERY VERY good at masking it or compensating for it#or if i have the same subcategory of Bipolar a former friend had that commonly gets misdiagnosed as the former two#which is likely bc all my blood relatives have gotten diagnosed with a form of bipolar and im not joking#idk man i just wish i knew wtf is wrong with me and how to like...do something about it but like actually#and not just focus on the depression or anxiety because that's CLEARLY NOT HELPING#yes im depressed and severely anxious but dont u think they might have a ROOT CAUSE#i'm definitely convinced and have been for years that they stem from something else#deeper and more of an issue than anyone trying to study wtfs wrong w me has figured out including me
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its p funny when lady alistair romancers talk about him doing the ritual like its the default
like sorry my friend it was MY pc who had the guilt ridden, coerced magic sex with morrigan
#its mostly harmless i know hes the most popular bc due to societial conditioning women care about the romances more lmao#its just so funny to me. doing the ritual is one of my wardens defining life moments its legit traumatizing for him#dao#dont need mega tags but i do womder of other ppl experience this#sa mention#sa tw#i dont know a better tag. i know its consensual for some just not my guy
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saw the "who's your most underrated Kleypas hero" question getting bandied about (again) today, and I must say, the only answers I'll accept are:
--John McKenna/Again the Magic (I'd argue that AtM is not the DEEP CUT newer Kleypas readers think it is; before I read it, it was definitely upheld as a classic of hers, but people who want the softer boys she writes in the Ravenels... may not like this one; however, McKenna fucks RIDICULOUS lbr)
--Alex, Lord Raiford/Then Came You (yes... he calls her a bitch.... and I'll be real this made me love him more... he carried her over his shoulder outta Craven's and bought her a bear I'm VERY confident in this choice)
--Kev Merripen/Seduce Me at Sunrise (thought he'd kill Win with his massive dick, tied her up and took her to his fuck cottage, is Heathcliff if Heathcliff wasn't horrible basically)
--Leo Hathaway/Married by Morning (fun bout wounded king, "haha" in the streets and "oh shit" in the sheets, notable for making Catherine ask him to touch her pussy in explicit and specific language)
#romance novel blogging#besides rhys winterborne............ ravenel heroes are kinda mid! i'll be honest!#'but what of five feelings tom' his book bored me i'll try it again someday#west ravenel is the greatest disappointment of my life#gabriel and keir struggled under the weight of their father's slutty slutty legacy#devon was fine. but only fine.#don't even talk to me about ethan#mostly bc i don't remember a single defining feature#i just think the ravenels is a perfectly fine series#but to me it is truly dumbed down kleypas#it's kleypas for people who can't handle sebastian kidnapping lillian#or derek craven fucking that sex worker#or derek craven doing a minor stranglehold on a very bad lady#or alex calling lily a bitch (THERE ARE REASONS)#or kev refusing to take responsibility for tittygate bc he was very down on himself and also bc his dick might kill her#or mckenna spending literal years plotting aline's downfall lmao#leo is honestly p normal but he WAS a sad alcoholic!!!#(never mind westcliff being like 'well she seems into when she's blackout and that's good enough for me')#i just think the ravenels was written with the idea of appealing to people who don't go hard w historicals basically#and that doesn't mean you can't like it! i like several! including the one everyone hates!#but even the ones i like.... aside from MW i feel like there's some magic missing#and i think the magic is a lack of inhibition#and don't get me wrong lol she published bad books before the ravenels#books much worse than the ravenels#but like. idk. i just don't know how you can read like the ravenels#then go back and read the wallflowers or DoY or AtM#and not notice... a quality difference
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Free story idea I'll probably never write but am kind of obsessed with: Scott and Lightray role reversal where Scott grew up on New Genesis and Lightray was traded to Apokolips.
Basic set up: Scott, as a little baby child, was supposed to die when Steppenwolf killed his mother. He survived, narrowly, but Izaya hid that from Apokolips in fear of retaliation. So when the pact happened, Izaya's son, presumed dead, wasn't on the table; instead, (quite literally) the brightest child on New Genesis was traded.
So Scott grows up hidden on New Genesis as the son of Highfather, with his big brother Orion. And the thing is, he loves his home, his father, his brother, but by the time he hits young adulthood he's positively gnawing at the bars. He's going stir crazy from his limited movement; even in New Genesis he has to be careful, because after all these years, he's still hiding from Darkseid, who might change the pact if he hears Izaya's son is still alive, or even flat out kill him, breaking the truce in the process. It's not something anyone is willing to risk, least of all Highfather and Orion.
But Scott is not the type to accept limitations on his freedom, and on top of that, the longer he hides away, the more guilty he feels. He's not stupid, he knows that he should have, by all rights, been the one traded in the pact. But Highfather prioritized his safety and took the out that him being presumed dead offered, and another kid took the fall instead. How is that fair? It's not like Lightray is any less important than him. Scott may have been too young to make informed decisions or understand what was happening when the pact occured, but now, as an adult, he's becoming increasingly dissatisfied with being protected at the cost of other peoples lives.
If only he could help in some way – he's no fighter, but he's crafty and creative. Surely, even if he wouldn't he terribly useful on a battlefield (and has no real desire to enter it to begin with), he could at least do something for the kid that got traded in his place? Help him escape, perhaps? He's already capable of giving even New Genesis the slip, Apokolips can't be that much harder...
Meanwhile, Darkseid was fully planning on pulling the same basic gambit with Lightray as he would have with Scott: torment him until he decides to escape at all costs, breaking the pact. So Lightray was put in Granny's Orphanage, ostensibly a normal student, with Granny reporting back on him to Darkseid. And things would've gone roughly like they went for Scott, if it weren't for one thing: Lightray's intelligence.
Where Scott was, as far as we can tell, a perfectly average student, Lightray quickly proves to be exceptional. His fighting is largely mediocre (relatively peaking, of course), but he still wins a vast majority of sparring matches, even when his opponents far outmatch him in skill, resources, numbers, or all three. He does this by simply outsmarting them, figuring out positively brilliant strategies even under the effects of Granny's mind-altering drugs. Granny reports this back to Darkseid, baffled and annoyed, lamenting about cowardice and rebellion; children in Granny's Orphanage are not supposed to think, after all.
But Darkseid quickly realizes that the pact handed them far more than just a symbolical light, an easy way to end the truce; it handed them a weapon. Child of New Genesis Lightray may be, Darkseid reads Granny's reports of cunning, manipulation, underhanded and even ruthless strategy and sees himself. On New Genesis, Lightray may have been a formidable enemy, but now, Darkseid has the opportunity to mold him into a surprise weapon. A cunning strategist, perhaps even on a similar level as himself, completely loyal to Apokolips, but easily able to win New Genesis' trust if necessary. A perfect potential spy. Lightray still has some of that pesky New Genesis kindness, but nothing a little careful manipulation won't fix. But the brute force of Granny's Orphanage won't bend him into the right shape; a little more subtlety is required here.
So Darkseid takes Lightray from Granny's Orphanage and only lies to him a little bit. He tells Lightray about the pact, about how he was traded for convenience's sake; Darkseid even graceciously admits that he'd originally planned to use Lightray much the same way, but had realized his mistake and decided to give him a chance instead. Darkseid sees how special Lightray is, how much more he could be than just a bargaining chip; Darkseid could make him great, give him power and, more importantly, a place to belong. Lightray could be important, and important things aren't easily traded away, are integral to their home and respected as peers. He could have a place here if he just listens to Darkseid, and why shouldn't he? What has New Genesis, what has Highfather given him? At least Apokolips, Darkseid is giving him a chance, believes he can be more than a bargaining chip. Highfather sees him as nothing but a tool, but Darkseid gets him, believes in him, believes he is more. Between the two of then, who has earned Lightray's loyalty?
So Lightray grows up as Darkseid's adopted son, favored even over Kalibak for his merit, risen above his origins as a bargaining chip, and only feels a little weird about it all. Just a little bit. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there is an instinctive part of him that cringes when a hunger dog rebel begs for mercy while being tortured to death, but that's just his New Genesis weakness, and he's long since overcome it. It's nothing Darkseid holds against him, as long as Lightray fights it. His origins don't define him, and he's grabbed the knife and chosen Darkseid's strength over New Genesis' weakness.
They were planning on having him 'escape' Apokolips and slotting him into New Genesis as a spy, but a golden opportunity drops straight into their lap. A New Genesian manages to sneak straight into Lightray's room, in the heart of Darkseid's home. The only one they know with the skill to pull that of is Himon, but this is clearly someone else.
This is Highfather's son, remarkably alive despite all information to the contrary, and doesn't that just reinforce everything Lightray's ever been taught? Highfather had been unwilling to sacrifice his own son, as Darkseid had done, and had instead cowardly offered up Lightray as a sacrificial lamb. Well, joke's on them, this lamb has grown into a wolf, and is ready to earn his spot in the pack. Highfather's son is called Scott Free (which is really just salt in the wound, isn't it) and is here to break him out, take him back to New Genesis, and it's a little before schedule, but they can't possibly pass up this opportunity.
Scott returns home to New Genesis, having successfully rescued Lightray and feeling pretty good about himself, not understanding why Orion is so spitting mad at the whole thing. He knows this means war, and that's awful, but this truce was never going to last, and they all know it. And now that he's seen the horrors of Apokolips for himself, he can't help but want to do something about it. He may be no fighter, but he thinks he can work with Himon; Himon's methods seem to fit very well with Scott's strengths. He can help, but his father still forbids him to leave New Genesis, and Orion insists that Darkseid is planning something, that it's too dangerous. Scott is inexperienced, naive, and must be protected at all costs, and if they think they can actually successfully keep him in one place they're idiots. It's only a matter of time before he gives them the slip.
Orion knows this damn well, but that's not going to stop him from trying to keep Scott from walking straight into an enemy trap. He doesn't trust Lightray, not even a little bit; he still remembers what Darkseid is like, and he knows, knows that Lightray would never have been allowed to live as his son if he wasn't useful to him in some way. Orion would bet his astro harness Lightray is a spy, but what can they do? Highfather refuses to lock Lightray up without concrete proof that he's a traitor, and they obviously can't send him back to Apokolips. If Scott goes through with joining Himon, he'll be in the middle of enemy territory, with a spy to report back to Darkseid on it. Orion can't allow that to happen, no matter what. But he can't just babysit Scott, even if Scott would've allowed him to do that; with the war starting, Orion is needed on the front lines. He doesn't know how to balance the need to protect his brother with his duties towards New Genesis and the universe at large.
Lightray, meanwhile, is having a bit of a culture shock. New Genesis is, for the most part, exactly what he'd been told to expect: bright, soft, holier-than-thou, all-around fake and weak. But it's still a shock to go from dark Apokolips to bright New Genesis, and to his alarm he can feel the effects already. In the sunlight, he is physically stronger and much more comfortable. He settles in easy, feels content in a way he rarely (never) felt on Apokolips. No matter how much he tries to remind himself that these people betrayed them and he's here to destroy them, he fits on New Genesis in a way he never did on Apokolips, and that scares him, a little bit. Because he knows he'll never have a place here; he'd be a tool at best, and an interloper at worst. Orion's hostility, though a significant hurdle in the plan, is almost welcome; it's familiar, and makes it easier to remind himself that he does not, in fact, belong here.
And then, there is one more complication: Scott Free. Scott Free, Highfather's hidden son, for whose sake he was traded, who is naive and reckless and easy to manipulate, and genuine in a way that completely throws Lightray for a loop. Highfather lies, pretending to trust Lightray despite obviously agreeing with Orion's suspiscions, apologizing for trading Lightray even though he'd surely do it again without hesitation, claiming to respect New Genesis' youth above all despite how obviously untrue that is. It's easy to look at him and see confirmation of everything Darkseid told him about New Genesis.
But Scott tells Lightray he never should've been traded in his place and honestly seems to believe it. He defied orders to come 'rescue' Lightray because he believed it was more important than the continuation of the pact. He's weak, in many ways, but he sees the world how it could be, not the way it is, and has a bright resiliance to him, which Lightray stubbornly refuses to compare to anyone he's met, especially not one Aurelie, the Fury who'd been revealed to be part of Himon's rebels. Scott Free will either die painfully or waste the rest of his life away imprisoned, and Lightray finds himself making just a few too many excuses for why that bothers him.
When Scott Free finally escapes Orion and Highfather's watch to go join Himon, Lightray does not immediately report to Darkseid. He contacts Big Barda instead. It's not treachery, he tells himself. Big Barda is wholly loyal to Darkseid, the leader of the Furies, and will get the job done; besides, he'll report to Darkseid soon enough. He still refuses to think about Aurelie, and how closely Barda stuck to Lightray's side afterwards, drawn to him for reasons they both knew but refused to acknowledge. When he hears back about Barda's defection and her and Scott's escape to Earth, he is obviously very shocked and not even a little bit relieved the plan he didn't have worked.
Then the anti-life equation is discovered on Earth, and suddenly Lightray is told by Darkseid that discovering its location should be his top priority. Orion is sent to look for it as well, to protect it, and Lightray, seeing an opportunity, insists to go along. To his surprise, Orion actually agrees. Orion, for this part, just wants to get Lightray as far away from New Genesis as possible, and is working on a 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer' logic. So off they both go, on the universe's most high-stakes and hostile buddy road trip.
#My posts#infodumping#Lightray#Orion#Scott free#Fourth world#I like this au bc it does what role reversals do best: force you to question which parts of a character are innate#Lightray is characterized as the kindest of new genesis but this is tied heavily to his sheltered upbringing on new genesis#We also see him mostly prioritize orion as his personal friend; this is unlike highfather and orion who are both big picture thinkers#Don't get me wrong lightray has a strong sense of justice but he's a little more prone to ruthlessness than you'd expect#And this au would rlly bring that out; some of his kindness is innate I believe but itd be duppressed like orion supresses his anger#On the other hand Scott's most defining attribute of fucking bailing on everything is still there its just twisted#Bc Scott in canon almost never seeks out danger and doesnt really feel responsible for fighting apokolips#But thats easily read as being bc he went through hell already so he jus wants to get away now#He already has a strong sense of justice in canon and is incapable of not helping ppl if they're in front of him#So in an au where he grew up on new genesis i DO think he'd be inclined to join himon in a way he didnt in canon#Bc that sense of justice would've been nurtured and never had to be stamped out or overridden for the sake of survival#Also sidenote I think a cool way for the plot of this au to go would be for barda + scott to join with the forever people#And find shilo norman as having the anti life equation#You could also have scott getting the equation if you want#I personally like the idea of thaddeus brown passing it onto him#Obvs both of those directions would be more AU than just the role reversal but I think they're Neat
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had a locked tomb dream in which one of gideons lowkey-only-bc-she-glosses-over-it-in-her-narration powers was teleportation as in she fucking kept teleporting and didnt seem to notice or think it was weird and when people called her on it she was like ‘yeah its called flash-stepping i read about it in some ancient-ass comic books i dug up in a back corner of the library on the ninth’ and everyone is like ‘???’ bc she says its not a necromantic technique bc everyone who did in it the ‘comic books’ (only the sixth know what manga is) she read was a warrior and most of them used swords so clearly its a secret advanced cav technique. and, she says, its not like it uses any spooky necro stuff, its ‘just a matter of honing yourself until you can move really fast’ so it might look like ‘teleportation’ to all of them but clearly that just shows that she got really good at it and is better than all of their fancy smancy ‘properly trained’ cavs. anyway, it turns out that using flashstep as the framework is the only reason why its been short line-of-sight bursts for her until now, once the penny drops she can straight up pop between planets. also she at one point mentions how ‘the wind’ roars really loudly in her ears while doing it and it turns out thats the sounds of the feral river ghosts bc she is, and i cannot stress this enough, constantly taking brief dips into the river.
#also this time canaan house was derailed by a teleportation accident and they all ended up in bayou country#which in my brain was only at like. somewhat apocalyptic levels of having rotted and been reclaimed by nature rather than 10k years worth#i assume my brain drew some l4d connection here bc gideon ended up stealing a white suit from a dusty wedding store which didnt quite#achieve the full tower prince look but which did passably reach 'nick l4d cosplay' a#also yes the rest of the planet was still pretty haunted. not canaan house mad science lab levels of haunted but it was definitely#more active of a haunting by which i mean there were zombies and creatures and ghosts and during the first of the regular possession checks#that the canaan house crew ended up instituting after a few incidents it was discovered that gideon and harrow#were both possessed at least a little by wake and alecto respectively and possibly counted as being lyctors bc like. gideon just by existin#had ended up tying wakes soul to the conglomerate pile of earth-ghost souls that constituted johns lyctorhood with alecto and that by#maing a connection to harrow like she did alecto also tied harrow into the same. when john showed up towards the end he defended his#sabotage of other attempts at lyctorhood outside the technique defined and oushed at canaan house as being bc it gets 'way too complicated#and messy (both necromanticly & in terms of personal drama & trying to keep track of who is where) to allow multiple bodies running around#as part of the same soul network#also to escape the first gids had to take everyone one by one to the ninth#bc its the only other planet shes been on and thus knows how to get to#and 1) everyone is like damn yall live like this? 2) the secrets of the ninth are exposed to the whole canaan crew by this 3) everyone is#severely adversely affected by going through the river like this and gideon is mostly like 'dont be a baby lmao just walk it off'#4) yes its still cytheria and yes she is having the time of her goddamn life. whatever the fuck is going on with *gestures at the ninth* is#both something shes possibly the only one equipped to fully understand how insane it is and also revealing to her so much about potential#ways to kill john that she is just rolling with it despite the fact that dulcie latched ontoher when gideon took her through the river and#is fully attempting to possess her with the full support of the sixth
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I hope ur having a good day today. I always respect and admire your art and efforts to be good in other things. I wish you the best of luck on your apps and everything else you're working on. I'm mentally sending you good vibes, my dude
Aw thanks :-]
#after 11hr of traveling im now home so at least theres that. id say im in a better place but ya kno rural Ohio lmao#i feel so so bad tho bc i left my boss to submit our manuscript and most of it she would have had to do anyway but i feel like i just#like ditched her so i was stressing abt it literally thr entire time :-P but whatever its done now#it's funny. i was thinking abt it and id say most ppl kno me primarily as a science person like thats my defining thing but here im#primarily an art person. idk i guess in daily life its just embarrassing to say i like to draw bc i feel like to say that i have to b#perfect at drawing so i tend to be like. yea i like to draw and thrn offer no info so no one asks lol. but i guess i downplay science stuff#too. bc i feel like i cant say it unless its something hard and science is mostly just boring tedious tasks. not really that hard. idk im#just a lil crazy like that. sigh.#but im home now so i should try to chill a lil. lol my mom when she picked me up: yay u can watch depressing shows with me!#bc my dad hates that stuff and i eat it up lmao#unrelated
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do you mind if i ramble in the tags about my weird relationship with making art in fandom for a second
#as someone who is studying art as a career one thing i have realized and also been explicitly told by various teachers#is the fact that having a 'consistent' art style is so overvalued sometimes that it ends up limiting you as an artist#literally i'd say 99 percent of the stuff we do in uni doesn't require consistency. it's actually valued when there isn't one#after all it is about learning and honing skills isn't it#so it has kind of put my personal conflicts in a different perspective#because before i started this degree i used to struggle so much with creation in non-academic spaces (which is pretty ironic. i know)#because the ppl and art i admired was mostly composed of art in fandom spaces#and the most appreciated artists in these spaces tend to be the ones who have a nice defined unique style#which isn't bad. i actually do still wish i could reach something like that#but it made me not want to create as much as i desired because i felt 'inconsistent' and i took that as a negative quality in my art#and it was so frustrating because nothing i tried seemed to 'stick'#which was also due to the fact that none of the varyingly different styles of drawings i posted seemed to reach many people#and yes i have heard time and again the whole schpiel of 'creating for yourself is better and quantity of likes/notes shouldn't mean as muc#to you as long as you're satisfied with your art blah blah blah'– c'mon. we all want our creations to be admired i'm tired of pretending#like i don't. i put it out there for a reason and it is for people to at least acknowledge it. it's the point of fandom. it's community#it's interaction. or at least it should be. that's another conversation though#so anyways since i started uni some time ago this frustration has been receding but it's very much still present#even more so when i get excited about doing/drawing something and then halfway through i get that pull in my chest of like. i'm actually#starting to hate it bc i can't reach what i want to#and so there's this disconnect that happens because i have many ideas and desires to create but i feel (even if it might not be true)#that i don't have the skillset to meet those ideas#which literally happens to almost if not everyone i know i'm not alone in this. it still sucks though#so i end up with about a dozen unfinished works monthly bc i start it/i reach halfway and hate it/i look at art and get inspired bc artists#in fandom are SO talented/i go back to it/i still can't reach the skill level i desperately want/i abandon it indefinitely#it's a horrible cycle that i really haven't been able to escape lately#it's also worse when you're at a time in your life when you don't actually have the opportunity or the time to try to achieve consistency#because you really just physically don't have the time to practice. which is the number one advice every good artist will give you#i am running out of tags but the point is. i hope we stop subconsciously putting consistent art styles in a higher pedestal bc it can be#very stressful for artists who struggle to find that in their creation#art related
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“hungover” - hotch x fem!reader
after a girls’ night in, you wake up next to your boyfriend.
1380 words - FLUFFY FLUFF
cw; mentions of alcohol and food, implied age gap?, typical hangover, jemily agenda (sry not sry)
a/n: I wrote this on my phone on vacation bc I have a serious problem
———————
The first thing you notice when you wake up is that you are not in your clothes.
You aren’t in your clothes. And you only realize it because of the scent wafting up your nose. Sea Salt Breeze - the cologne you’d gotten him for Christmas last year - emanates from the t-shirt that envelopes your upper half. You dip your chin for another whiff, breathing him in deeply. You want the smell inscribed into your brain.
You feel the bed dip and creak and you instinctively shut your eyes, playing possum as Aaron pads into the bathroom. The door whines as he shuts it most of the way, not totally closing it because he thinks you’re still asleep and that the sound of the door shutting will wake you.
Each of your senses turns on one at a time, like your brain waves run on dial-up Internet. You open your eyes and the room is mostly dark, save for the sliver of light creeping in through the outline of the curtains. You run the palm of your hand along Aaron’s sheets and marvel over how soft they are - Egyptian cotton, he’d told you once before.
Your head hurts, but only mildly. You’d certainly been drunker before, but last night was still up there. Penelope made her mojitos strong.
You slowly sit up in the bed as Aaron opens the door, flicking the bathroom light off in the same motion. Your eyes meet his and he cracks a small smile. “Thought you’d still be asleep,” he muses. You love his pale blue boxers and seeing the hair on his legs. His calves are crazy defined - he’s a runner, after all, but still. You rarely see him in anything but a suit and tie, so it’s always a treat. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
You shake your head, wincing slightly at the movement. Maybe you’re a little more hungover than you thought. “I was already awake,” you mumble, running a hand over your face. “Did you put me in your own clothes last night? I have pajamas in my drawer,” you point out, gesturing to the second drawer of Aaron’s dresser, the one that contains your set of pajamas, a few spare pairs of underwear, and a couple of emergency outfits, just in case you end up sleeping over at his place.
It happens more often than not, so you keep the drawer decently stocked at all times.
“You insisted,” Aaron climbs into the bed, reaching for you. He tugs you to him and you roll over onto your side, and then halfway onto your tummy so that your leg drapes over his and your palm rests flat on his chest.
You can hear his heart beating. It’s like a metronome, steady and guiding and calm. You feel his pointed chin nuzzle into your hair and then, his lips, quick yet effective, against your forehead.
Flashes of last night run through your head. You, Emily and JJ, over at Penelope’s apartment. A symphony of girlish giggles, talking about Emily and JJ’s upcoming wedding date, drinking at least three pitchers of mojitos among the four of you. Watching Dirty Dancing and gabbing the entire time, realizing it’d be a bad idea to drive yourself home, and calling Aaron to come get you.
When he arrived, you called him Hotch and apologized for him having to come get you, and he reminded you that he was Aaron and he was your boyfriend and he would pick you up anytime you needed it. You were determined to play the Dirty Dancing soundtrack on the ride home, fumbling with his phone until you found it.
You belted out (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life and demanded Aaron sing along. He admitted that he didn’t know all the words and you gave him a stern lecture until you started laughing so hard that you were in tears. Traffic lights reflected Christmas ornament colors in Aaron’s brown eyes as he drove, occasionally glancing over at you.
You swore you saw the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as you berated him for not knowing the words to such a classic song.
And then, once you were back at his place, you sat on the edge of the bed and stared at your shoes dumbly until Aaron offered to help you take them off. “Laces too hard,” you mumbled, and Aaron just hummed in agreement before kneeling down to help you.
And then he helped you out of your clothes. He went for your drawer, and you threw a pillow at him. “The college t-shirt,” you demanded with these Bambi-esque eyes.
“Arms up, baby,” Aaron said as he slid his law school t-shirt onto your upper half. He saved that specific term of endearment for times like these, when he was taking care of you, when he himself was exhausted. You could tell he was, too, not only because he kept yawning, but because of that glazed-over look in his chestnut eyes.
You glance down at the words George Washington University, printed over your chest.
Aaron’s arms around you tighten for just a moment as he embraces you, and you dig your face a little further into his chest. “No Jack today?” You ask, your voice coming out croaky.
“At his grandparents’,” Aaron murmurs, and you yawn. He strokes your hair. “How’s your head?”
“I haven’t had any complaints so far.”
Aaron’s hand freezes in your hair, and you lift your head, smirking at him. His mouth has formed a straight line, but you snicker and you can tell he’s trying not to smile at your dirty joke. “Degenerate,” he calls you.
“Prude,” you tease back, inching closer to kiss his jaw briefly before laying your head back down. “It hurts,” you answer his question. “But not as bad as it could.”
“That’s good,” Aaron comments, his hand running through your hair again, gently, the world’s most relaxing and least effective hairbrush. It feels nice, but his hands are so big that his fingers snag on the tangles, accomplishing nothing but making you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Nothing wrong with that, though.
“Do you want some Tylenol for your headache?” Aaron asks, and you just curl up into him even more. He’s so warm, and sturdy, and it’s so rare that you get mornings like this. Either you’re both working or Jack has a soccer game or there’s something else going on. It’s nice just to lay around with him, to be mildly hungover and pretend like that’s the only thing going on in either of your lives.
“That would require getting out of bed,” you protest, and feel Aaron’s arms tighten around you. He’s a very doting boa constrictor.
“How about I get it for you, then?” He offers, and you shake your head and shift all your weight onto him. He chuckles, a deep, throaty noise you know you’re only privy to for about twenty minutes right after he’s woken up. “So that’s a no.”
“That’s a no,” you confirm, settling back in to your original position.
You lay like that with him, in comfortable silence, for a few minutes. Until it feels like you’ve melded into one being. Then Aaron finally shifts under you. “Honey, my arm’s asleep,” he whispers, as though he’s afraid to disturb you.
You slither off of him, then clamber out of bed with no amount of grace, going so far as to trip over the corner post of the bed. As Aaron sits up, you exclaim, “I’m okay!” and hold your hands out to steady yourself.
Aaron stifles a laugh and you watch him stand from the bed and he walks towards you, steadying you with one of those gargantuan hands on your shoulder. He then lifts that hand to tip your chin up. You step forward in a silent dance, wrapping your arms around his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him. “Oh, shit,” you murmur. “I bet I have really awful morning breath.”
He just blinks a few times, and then offers you a shit-eating grin. “Yeah, honey, you kind of do,” he admits. You lightly punch him in the pectoral and then head to the en suite to brush your teeth.
#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#hotch fluff#hotchner x reader#hotch fic#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner fluff#hotchner#hotchner fluff#basketonthedoorstepofthefbi#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fic
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OMG I have an idea
What if a villain hit reader with a love potion and the Yandere JL has to deal with reader being obsessed with one of them until it wears off🙏🙏😭(I LITERALLY LOVE YOUR YAN JL WORKDGHBJB)
A Day in Life: Love Pollen
Synopsis: A day in your life where you get hit with love pollen, get kidnapped, and are rescued by the Justice League.
Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Assistant!Gn!Reader
Tw: 18+; PDA; Dry humping; Kinda public sex bc they're in a deserted island’s beach, so it's basically out in the open but no one’s around; Dubcon/noncon bc, you know, love-and-kinda-sex pollen; Also maybe drugging bc of that; Writer is the Justice League's weakness; Hal Jordan is a little shit; Needles; English is not my 1st language.
Word count: 2,1k
Requested? Yes.
Extra notes: I imagine the League’s marketing will have a hard time after this little stunt, I mean, there's no way no one caught that on camera
General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist
The Legion of Doom had a plan. They invaded a political event in Metropolis, with the presence of the Justice League as the president’s security team, the League being the target. First, Poison Ivy release pollen throughout the whole city, as a distraction, making people hallucinate that they were in love with one another. Crazy in love. It would be okay, if her experiment didn't cause chaos. All over the streets, some people were having sex out in the open, some were fighting and killing because of jealousy and cheating, some were committing robberies to give their “loved ones”. It was pure chaos and only the quick reflexes, powers and gadgets from the League spared the team from getting hit.
Half the team went to deal with the distraction, saving and restraining people, giving them the antidote, etc. The other half, took care of the villains. After a few hours, the Legion of Doom was taken down and the city’s security and health workers took over the job, the chaos being a lot easier to contain since they were spreading the antidote through the air, it would take at least an hour to spread it throughout the whole city, and then the ones who somehow weren't able to breath it, but mostly, just the mess left behind was the real issue.
You were standing with the rest of the crew on the event, watching the League and the politicians discoursing for the press and TV. When the mayhem started, for the first few seconds, you got startled and froze. Looking between the League, the scared crowd, and the villains invading the place. Suddenly, you breathed some thick smoke and your eyes shot to the heroes, silently urging them to do something, when your eyes locked on Green Lantern’s, the pollen’s effect kicked in. You got dizzy, something snapped, and then everything changed.
Wait, when did Green Lantern's jaw got so sharp? And his muscles so defined? Oh, and he was so big and tall. Did he do something to his hair? Wow, his ring is glowing now and he's flying. He's so cool and powerful. A true hero. Shit, he's coming in my direction. Hehe, he's using a construct to lift me and my coworkers to a safer place as if it was nothing. Imagine flying with him every day. How does he look without the mask? Ugh, must be perfect, if his jaw and lips were anything to go by. I can't even see the color of his eyes! And- and please stop looking me in the eyes and touching my shoulders and asking me if I'm okay, of course I am, I'm with you. No. Nooo. Come back here! Let the others deal with the bad guys, I'm right hereee! Nooooo!
You were depressed and deflated the whole time your soulmate was away. A journalist team from outside the city arrived at some point and you were able to watch the fight — Normally, Lois Lane would do the transmission, but she's too busy making out with her cameraman, she was in the crowd too. —. You started crying watching your lover fighting with Sinestro. When he won, and everything was fine, was when you finally calmed down and just started anxiously waiting while ignoring your colleagues strange antics, one of them even hitting on you. Didn't she know you and Green Lantern were in love?
When the League was back, the paramedics were starting to give the crew the antidote, you were next in line, however, as soon as you saw the heroes, you broke into a sprint.
— Green! — You yelled, catching everyone off guard. Even more so when you jumped and hooked your legs around the brunette’s waist, your arms around his neck, and kissed him passionately.
Hal was so shocked that it took him two seconds to reciprocate the kiss, ignoring completely the gasps from his friends. You moaned against his lips, mumbling a jumbled mess of “I love you”, “I missed you”, “was so worried”, “so glad you're back”.
Someone groaned.
— Batman, just give them that damn antidote before I lose it. — Batman grunted and Hal struggled but managed to separate your faces for a moment. You tried to push your face towards his again, but he grabbed your jaw. You kept forcing your face against his hand and whining. It was really cute, and your willingness and the previous sensation of your lips ignited something in his belly, yet, he looked to the side just in time to see Batman preparing the needle, the rest of the League sulking on the side and glaring at him.
His mind worked rapidly, ignoring the texture of your soft lips pampering kisses against the skin of his hand. When he felt the tip of your tongue, he made a decision.
A bad one.
— Yeah. I don't think so. — Green Lantern conjured several chain constructs, chaining the League's arms and ankles to the ground. It wouldn't hold off the ones like Superman and Wonder Woman who were strong enough to break it, and Martian Manhunter who could just invade his mind or use his intangibility, Flash was also pretty capable of taking him on, but Hal was smart and sagacious. Still holding you, he made a rocket construct around you both and took off.
Really, a terrible idea.
Superman and Wonder Woman, in a cry of rage, broke the chains. Diana unsheathed her sword, her feet not even touching the ground anymore, flying, ready to go after the traitor. Martian passed through the construct, while Superman went to break Batman and Aquaman free, Flash vibrated fast to rearrange his particles and also escaped.
— We need a plan. — Batman’s voice stopped the amazon warrior from going in a hunt for blood. He was already stressing over what the marketing team could do to fix this.
— A plan? We can defeat the enemy and retreat my darling if we go now! — Wonder Woman barked.
— Green Lantern is impulsive. If we go now we can destroy the whole state and hurt (Y/N) in the process. He won't give them up easily.
— Batman's right. — Superman agreeds. — Flash, follow them and see where they’re going. — The speedster nodded and took off.
Barry shook his head, cursing his idiot best friend the whole way.
Between the whole team, Hal was clearly the only one who would be okay with you falsely loving them. The rest wanted something more genuine for you. Some of them would settle for you not loving them as much as they loved you, some wanted you to feel exactly the same amount of what they felt. Hal still loved you just like them, but he always had that certain level of insecurity that craved to be better than anyone, to impress, making everything a competition, and the sensation of being the only one to have you could certainly cloud his judgment and accept your love, even if fake. He just thought he could compensate by treating you the right way, and not just using that opportunity to do whatever he wanted with you, just because he could and you wouldn't complain. He could make this about you both, and not just about him.
Either way, every one of them (thought) they deserved their fair chance at winning you over.
— Manhunter, can you still read his mind and tell what he is thinking? — Manhunter nodded and his eyes started glowing, there was a second of silence before he spoke.
— It's getting weaker as he gets more distant. It's purely impulsive thinking. Green Lantern isn't considering the consequences and means no harm against Earth or us. — Batman nodds.
— That's a shame. I mean harm. — Wonder Woman mutters, Batman glared and Superman side-eyed her. Batman turned his communication on.
— Flash, tell us when they stop moving.
— If he touches them, I will personally kill him. — Aquaman darkly states. Superman took a step in his direction, facing him head on.
— No, you won't. — The two stared at one another intently, until Batman broke the silence.
— Focus. We don't have time for this. — The dark knight stated.
— We need to be collected and work as a team to act smoothly on our plan. — Martian reminds them. Wonder Woman steps down again and sheats her sword. They all form a circle and start planning.
The sky was never this blue and the sand never this warm and soft. Even with the warmth of the sun being so intense, you were laying on a palm tree's shadow, and the air was flowing just fine. What was actually making you sweat was the dry humping you and your soulmate were doing.
You don't remember ever getting so aroused in your whole life, and can't remember ever desiring someone so much. You could kill someone if they dared to try and steal him away from you.
Hal felt you carding your fingers through his hair and pull slightly, giving him shiver, and he squeezed the flesh of your hips. You moaned against his lips at a particularly stronger wave of pleasure. The clothes were a curse, stopping you from feeling the real him, so you desperately started clawing at his clothes. Green Lantern breathily chuckled.
— Relax, hot stuff, we have time… — He whispers with a smirk. The man held your hands and laid them on the ground, above your head. You just moaned, more needy, and pushed your hips against his, eliciting a hiss from his red and swollen lips.
His hands started unbottoning your shirt and freeing the fabric out of your pants. You kept your hands were they were and watched, eyes wide open, when he descended kisses from the middle of your chest, going south, only pausing at your waistband.
As much as you wanted to feel his mouth more, seeing him so covered and not being able to properly touch him was making you restless, so you sat up, surprising him, and started pulling up the fabric at the back of his neck. Hal chuckled and shook his head, humoring your needs. He helped you take it off, then pushed your own shirt down your arms, until it was off.
You paused, admiring his adonis body. Your heart raced and eyes watered, never having seen something so perfect your whole life. Even his scars were beautiful. His chest hair and happy trail looked really soft and somehow he looked even more muscled, strong and beautiful. You wonder why you rejected him before.
Hal Jordan basked in your amazed gaze, loving to show off, especially while doing nothing. He frowned weakly, and gave a reassuring grin when you pouted, slumped and frowned.
— What's this, sweetheart? I thought you were enjoying this. — To lift your mood, he started running his hands up and down your sides.
— I wanted to see your face… — Hal remained silent for a few seconds. They would tell you their identities eventually, and that fact kept being brought up on reunions. They all knew at some point, you would have to know, to really start a relationship, yet, Batman, and his paranoia, kept them all from telling you. Sometimes, it felt like a sabotage, but mostly, it made sense, since the guy had a bunch of kids, who could be in danger if the information somehow got leaked, still, you couldn't trust to let them in, if they didn't let you in. That was the only reason you didn't trust them, of course.
Also, a face was not a name. Hal wasn't famous, so how bad could it be? Especially if it would turn you on so much, and when you looked so damn cute. His own lust was also influencing his critical thinking, which was already second place to his impulsiveness.
Hal bit his lower lip and brought his face closer to yours, a few centimeters away from having your noses touching.
— Okay… Take it off… — You let out a happy squeal and reached up with both hands. Your heart pounded with anticipation, making you go slower to savor the intimacy even more. Hal closed his eyes when he felt the gentle tug, against his wishes to watch your eagerness and your lip biting in anticipation. His heart was also pounding.
You saw his right eye closed and his thick eyebrow, when suddenly, a loud noise rang out, scaring the shit out of you and prompting Hal to fix the mask again, get up and assess for danger.
He finally fell to his senses and realized something.
He just took the worst decisions ever.
Everything happened too fast. Flash was on your side, holding a needle to your arm, and Green Lantern was being thrown around by a red and blue blur. Only the feminine rageful scream gave you the hint to who it was.
You got up, ready to die for your soulmate, when the antidote kicked in.
You threw up.
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DC Taglist:
@wandalfnation @vadersassistant
#yandere dc#bruce wayne x reader#diana prince x reader#hal jordan x reader#clark kent x reader#barry allen x reader#yandere clark kent x reader#yandere diana prince x reader#yandere hal jordan x reader#yandere bruce wayne x reader#yandere justice league x reader#yandere arthur curry x reader#yandere martian manhunter x reader#yandere justice league x assistant reader#justice league x assistant reader#masterlist#yandere batman x reader#yandere green lantern x reader#yandere wonder woman x reader#yandere superman x reader#yandere batman#yandere superman#yandere wonder woman#yandere flash#yandere barry allen x reader#yandere aquaman#justice league x reader#yandere justice league#justice league#dc comics
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𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 [ 𝐊Ö𝐍𝐈𝐆 ]
𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎 | 𝗲𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵 + 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗹𝗲𝘀 |
cw: suggestive, non-human/hybrid könig, slightly dubious consent, fem!reader
notes: an eldritch is a horrific monster, often of otherwordly origin, in this case, a sea monster.
𝐕𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 by the sea, after a hectic chapter of life, was more than the word 'relaxing' defined. you sat at the beach, having woke up to early due to jet lag, but there you were, watching the dark shy turn morning yellow.
watching the strange figure form in the corner of your eye.
you jerked, looking over to your right, curious. that shadow that made no appearance when you looked. sighing, you turned back, bringing your knees to your chest the cold air making the san a little colder under your bare legs.
it was strange, you almost remembered this moment before. maybe when you were younger, maybe when you came to this very same beach after a previous stressful moment.
but you knew he was with you.
freezing cold, yet you didn't flinch, your skin crawled with goosebumps as those same snakes slithered up your arms.
"you are back, meine frau."
his voice was low, right against you ear, a comforting murmur as more of him wraps around you. tentacles, they were tentacles, but you didn't mind, they were soft, a bit wet, but at least not slimy. they slipped under the thin cotton of your night top, slithering up to wrap around the plush flesh of your breasts, twisting to gently pinch on your nipples, making you moan in pleasure.
you whimper, whine, moaning softly as his human appendages wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you into his lap.
"i have missed you so dearly."
his voice was a sweet coo, lips dragging down your ear as the tentacles traveling beyond your collarbone. you sighed as you felt the thin tips of rolling flesh push past your shivering lips, a warm welcome coming from you in a sigh,
"you're so warm, könig."
he chuckled, petting your hair, his tentacles wrapping around your tongue, the suckers doing as their name suggests,
"the sea is not warm, engel."
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
okay just something i wanted to talk about. first of all, i'm not someone who's super involved with other creators on tumblr, mostly bc im a lazy person, so the author i'm talking ab is not someone i'm close too. @frogchiro is a writer that i really look up too, and she was being harassed by an anon and i genuinely am irritated by the kind of behavior the she received because she wrote about octo! könig.
if you don't like something, scroll.
as of right now, I believe she is completely off tumblr, and i hope the best for her.
translation
1. angel 2. my wife
༒︎ 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫; 2023 ༒︎
directory
#art by killion yang#ao3 author#ao3#drabble#suggestive#cod#cod mw2#konig x reader#könig#kinktober#cod könig#könig smut#könig x reader#könig cod#könig mw2#könig call of duty#mw2 konig#konig cod#konig mw2#konig call of duty#konig smut#konig x you#konig#konig modern warfare#konig fanfiction#cod fanfic#cod modern warfare#cod mwii#cod x reader#modern warfare 2
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Thoughts on Echo as amputee/disability representation
First and foremost, I am not disabled or an amputee and I don’t claim to speak for those communities (and if I was I couldn't speak for everyone). What little I do know mostly comes from this youtube channel (@oakwyrm), this post, and other research I’ve done for my writing (and like one amputee I kinda knew in passing). By all means correct me and add to the conversation, I just have some thoughts I want to share because I haven’t really seen this discussed anywhere
Overview
So Echo is interesting. He is a triple amputee which is pretty rare in media. His disabilities come from extremely traumatic circumstances: injured in a near-death experience, imprisoned and dehumanized as an experiment with no autonomy over what happened to his body.
There are a few moments in the shows where Echo is treated… questionably. Like this bit where Rex uses him as an example of the Separatists' evils to convince the locals to fight back:
To be fair, yeah Echo’s treatment does prove that the Techno Union is not neutral like they claim. The modifications that everyone is gasping in horror at here obviously weren’t made with comfort and accessibility in mind, nor with Echo’s consent. But you still just want to be sure that “They took away his freedom, his humanity, they tried to turn him into a machine” is about using him as a living computer, not the fact that he is missing limbs.
The Batch is also pretty insensitive toward him and his trauma imo, which is weird considering they've supposedly also faced discrimination for their mutations
Disabled people do have to deal with stuff like this in this day and age so I guess it can speak to those experiences. I think especially him being mistaken as a droid (and Hunter going along with it (bruh)) might resonate with some people.
Aside from that stuff, Echo isn't really treated any differently as a character/person which is really good (as low of a bar as that is).
We get this moment in CW where Echo contemplates that yeah things are gonna be different now
While also (imo at least) showing that he is still the same person regardless, evidenced by the fact that he just echoed Rex :,) I also think it's significant that he joins the Bad Batch on his own terms and we're given a really emotional scene to specifically show that he's not just like 'lumped in with the other misfits' but that it is his choice to go where he feels his place is.
A lot of people, myself included, are disappointed that TBB didn't have more time to explore Echo's PTSD, but I think the one panic attack scene we did get is really good. Even thought it's minor it at least is an appropriate reaction from a guy who was medically tortured (which is more than I've come to expect from Star Wars shows lol)
And it's really sweet to see Omega showing Echo some empathy and consideration.
It would have been nice to see more of his adjustment period, and other side effects like chronic pain and maintenance, but there’s a lot of daily life stuff the show never had time for (i.e. we don’t know if he removed his prosthetics to sleep, but we also never saw him sleep anyway). His disabilities might take on a background role (much like the character himself sadly) but for the most part they aren’t invisible or erased, nor do they define his character and arc.
Physical Appearance
Okay this one is bit dicey, bc on the one hand, yes complaints that Echo’s paleness (most likely caused by burns from the explosion or chemical burns from the cryo-chamber) is whitewashing are totally valid. But I also think you can draw comparisons to real life conditions that affect pigmentation/complexion (like you know burns). So while I understand why a lot of fanart will depict him with his original skin tone and with hair, consider that there are real people who have to live with temporary or permanent changes to their appearance, and the idea of “fixing" him by making him look more like his old self can be problematic.
It's also interesting to note that Echo could act as a reversal of the 'disabled/disfigured = evil' trope. He's pale and bald and wears black and red, which is so often visually associated with villains, but we all know Echo is the bestest boy��
The Headpiece
Echo’s headpiece is interesting because within the show we don’t actually ever learn much about it (idk if there is more info in books or whatever bc i don’t have them so?). He didn’t have it in CW so we know it didn’t come from the Techno Union and therefore Echo probably had more choice with it. We don’t know its exact purpose but it’s most likely related to his scomping abilities. When he is hacking with his scomp in CW, before he has his headpiece, it’s clearly very mentally straining:
We don’t see him struggling like this in TBB once he does have it (though that could be bc he got more used to it over time). There doesn't seem to be much of an impact when he removes his headpiece in s3 ep14-15, except that he gets stuck in the ports every time he uses his scomp which is not something we’ve seen before:
There might not be an exact real-world equivalent, but the headpiece is some kind of accessibility aid. It means that someone specifically designed a device to help him adapt to the changes the Techno Union made, as well as a helmet that integrates it. It’s removable and visually very present, much like a cochlear implant would be. (A lot of people actually headcanon it to act partially as a hearing aid, since it makes sense that Echo’s hearing would have been damaged in the explosion, but there isn't really any indication of this in canon.) The headpiece is never really acknowledged in the show, but I think that's a good thing. It's something he needs/wants and it just exists, completely normalized, and that's pretty cool 👍
Legs
Sigh... So from the very first episode of TBB I was really disappointed that the animation team or whoever completely visually erased Echo’s prosthetic legs (I think we all were, honestly, if fanart is anything to go by). It’s one thing when he’s in armor because he would probably want to protect his prosthetics, but we literally see him in his blacks and there is no indication whatsoever that he lost his legs even though it was not left up for debate at all in CW:
Like ??????!?
This is just really strange to me! Idk what went on behind the scenes with this decision but I don’t really see why it would be that much harder to animate or anything since it’s 3D and they've done it before. We do see some pretty sophisticated cybernetic technology in Star Wars canon that mimics real limbs:
But Luke’s fancy hand is technically 20ish years from now, so Anakin and Maul are more of a representation of what level we could expect here
So yeah, for no apparent reason, his leg amputation is effectively, visually and narratively nonexistent. Which is not great 👎
Arm!
The scomp on the other hand (uh lol!) is the complete opposite and I kinda love it!
At first I, like many others, thought it was a bit odd that they didn’t give Echo a prosthetic arm. Losing hands is basically a Star Wars tradition at this point, so robotic arms/hands are well established within the worldbuilding:
We aren’t necessarily given a canon reason for why Echo doesn't get a cybernetic arm (again unless it's in some lore book I haven’t read, sorry). General fanon explanations I’ve seen are that he either couldn’t because the Techno Union wired the scomp too far into his nervous system, and/or the resources to give him one were deemed too expensive for a clone (what about his legs tho?), or that he chose not to, usually because he thought the scomping was useful.
Regardless, I actually really love this choice (and it's the whole reason I made this post), because here's the thing: There’s a lot of problematic tropes out there that either erase/cure disabilities or compensate them with perks (like how pretty much any blind character is actually not blind by some sort of magic power). With amputees that is done with robotic arms. The character is still an amputee or course, and there is still value in that representation, if this story from Mark Hamill that makes me tear up is anything to go by:
but for the most part these characters function like anyone else, just with a limb that looks a little different. It’s no more than a video game skin, an able-bodied actor with a green screen glove. It “cures” the disability, or it actually makes the character even stronger than usual:
It usually makes sense within the world of the story, but the reason it’s not so great in my opinion is that in the real world we just do not have technology anywhere close to that yet. Prosthetics can more or less replace any mobility from lost legs, but not for all the complexities of a hand (and even if they could the average person wouldn’t be able to afford it).
So
I think it's actually really super cool that Echo’s scomp bypasses the canonically-established amputee erasure and functions much like a stump would irl. He integrates it into his movements and everyday life and it’s (as far as I know) a lot closer to an everyday amputee’s experience.
It doesn’t define his character, it doesn’t hold him back, he lives a full life, the other’s don’t treat him any differently, and he’s still a total karking badass
The only additional thing is that he sometimes uses it as a weapon (which given his story, I think it’s cool to see him taking back autonomy in a way, and we only see that like twice)
And also the scomping, which could be seen as the 'added/compensating superpower' trope. But narratively it's no different than if he was plugging in with a hacking gadget of some kind (he didn't necessarily "need" to lose his arm for it) and it’s not like Echo is completely defined by this skill. Personally, I think it's well worth the positives of him actually having a visible and realistically impactful amputation.
I see a lot of posts or comments out there that say stuff like “how come Echo doesn’t get a hand?” or fanworks that do give him one and I just think it’s a bit of a shame. If he did get a robotic hand, it just would have disappeared the same way his legs and Anakin’s arm did (aside from that one time he got yoinked by a magnet). When Echo did “get a hand” in the last two episodes there were comments like “yay he finally got a hand! but it doesn’t even work” but I was actually so relieved that it didn’t! Bc for one thing that wouldn’t make any sense, he grabbed it off a droid, it wasn’t designed to implement with his scomp, that would be really complicated. But more importantly because it again refused to erase/cure his disability! It functioned like a real-world cosmetic prosthetic (useless beyond appearance) which is exactly what he needed it for, so that he could blend in better with his disguise.
And he continually took it off throughout the episode and ditched it at the end. He only used it for the necessity of a stealth mission, he doesn’t feel the need to visually “fit in” in his daily life.
And, last but very much not least, he made a dad joke and from my intel that is very accurate representation!
TLDR: Echo’s scomp is actually really cool from an amputee representation perspective, especially within Star Wars, and I think that deserves some appreciation
#man i just love him so much!#this post ended up ten times longer than i was expecting lol#its so strange to me that the same team that completely noped his prosthetic legs also gave us such good arm amputee represention#like whats up with that?#echo's scomp appreciation#also so glad those weird mod arm attachment things from the action figures never happened#representation matters#disabled lives are worth living#disability representation#amputee#disability tropes#robotic limbs#ableism#star wars#clone wars#the bad batch#sw tcw#arc trooper echo#tbb echo#tbb season 3#unwhitewashtbb#long post#accidental essay#analysis#thoughts#imo#rant#character analysis#writing disabled characters#writing
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Going back to this debate
I know Ellle is a multifaceted individual that much is obvious she’s not one dimensional she has many elements to her personality. Additionally, it’s important to remember that even on the spectrum of masculine and feminine, Ellie isn’t completely one or the other. She exists in some sort of grey area between them, embodying both masculine and feminine traits. She’s not defined by one end of the spectrum, but rather by the interplay of these two extremes.
Yet at times the characterisation of Ellie is laced with internalised misogyny. And highlights the way “masc presenting” lesbians are treated in real life tied down to the “man” in the relationship why is Ellie mostly written as the dominant one especially when coupled with fem reader why do we head canon her as a top when it’s literally canon that she’s a switch? Why is there an infinite amount of “ellie taking care of the reader on her period” scenarios outnumber “Reader taking care of Ellie on her period” Ellie written as tall towering over fem reader and not like she’s literally 5’5
The fact is that there’s a heteronormative slant to the way people write her. Like I said almost never written as a switch, but a top. To some extent been portrayed as tall and dominating, never small or vulnerable. And Santa Barbara Ellie is often sexualized even though she is deeply traumatized and emotionally tormented. The problem is that people are viewing her through male-centric lenses, reducing her to an object of desire rather than a fully fleshed out woman with a complex, nuanced personality which includes many dimensions, some of which may be considered feminine.
There is no specific way to be a “masc lesbian” a woman nor feminine and express your femininity. Nor should that separate her from her womanhood/femininity. in a way it’s her way of showing how feminine she is. maybe not stereotypically through outward appearances, but her general identity. she’s a woman who experiences the same struggles that women do, Obviously she doesn’t waver just on the lines of black and white, she’s all rounded. In between. Grey area. The point I’m trying to make is that she’s all and above, you can be both masc and fem. I would add that Ellie's femininity is often overlooked or even belittled by people who only focus on traits that appeal to them. Not her emotional intelligence, her caring nature, her resilience, her dedication to her loved ones. Fuck she’s also a soft heart and a tender soul. These aspects of her are just as important to her character, she is a whole person ffs, exceptionally fleshed out
So fuck
“the hot wife and her hot boyfriend”
Why not
“The hot wife and her hot wife”
“She’s so boyfriend
Uh
“She’s so girlfriend”
Santa Barbara/Seattle is literally at her most vulnerable, disheveled state that girl is literally plagued with trauma, stuck in a limbo of “do I seek vengeance in the name of losing my family and absolutely everything or stay and suffer in silence (at who’s expense?? Hers) Yet we sexualise tf out of her, the most vulnerable pinnacle of existence—glorified and romanticised bc it’s “hot”
this is not a dig at anyone you’re free to write whatever tf you want bro it’s your platform but pls let’s not bs and pretend as of this doesn’t occur
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i think if be okay to write jwon smut / suggestive things bcs he is of age so wheres the wrong in that?
Hickeys - Yang Jungwon
A/n : Hello everyone! Some of you were asking me to write something 'smutty' for Jungwon, but since he's just turned 20 I'll let is sit for a while and start off with some mild 'smut', but mostly suggestive. This is my first time giving it a shot, so I rly hope you enjoy reading it!
Also, Thankyou so so so much for the love you guys are showing on my previous posts!! A big thanks to everyone who liked, reblogged or even followed! I appreciate you all sooo much <333
Pairings : Bf!Jungwon X Fem!Reader
Warnings : fluff, slight angst, suggestive, mentions of grinding, kissing, making out, neck kissing, hickeys, marking, feeling one another over clothes, both inexperienced tbh, mentions of food, reader is stressed at beginning, comfort, hugs, kinda has a shitty ending.
Word count : 1294 words
Masterlist - Tips
It was the worst time of the year; exam week. You always stressed so much about your grades, studying till morning and even forgetting to eat, all for nothing. When your report cards came back, your heart shatters into a millions pieces. No matter how hard you try, your best isn't good enough.
You were honestly feeling like a big failure, and didn't know what you were going to do in your life. Unlike Jungwon, who wasn't only successful with his music career, but also graduated with amazing grades.
It's not that you were jealous of him; not at all. It's just that you constantly compared yourself to him and soon realised that you don't deserve him. He deserves a better person. Someone more intelligent perhaps, someone who could flex their grades and collages to his parents not someone who can barely pass a simple exam.
You were so clouded in your thoughts that you didn't even realise that he had entered inside your house, took off his shoes and coat and walked to your seat.
"Y/n?" he calls out for you and waves his hand in front of your face in a teasing manner. You blinked your eyes and looked up at him, smiling in an instant. He was such a comforting person to you, yet you felt bad because your thoughts told you that you weren't good enough for him.
"H-hi" you let out, running a hand through your hair as he placed a bag over the kitchen counter. "Have you eaten yet? I got food" He announced, placing the take out on the counter.
"Mm, no" you admit, sighing. He sighs as well as he walks over to you. "Aww y/n. You overwork yourself too much on some unimportant grades" he says, his warm hands coming up to your face "Look at you, are you even sleeping?" he asks worriedly, his thumbs caressing your dark eyebags.
"Kinda" you reply shortly, looking up at his worried expression. "You shouldn't stress too much baby, grades don't define you" he leans down and presses his lips to yours in a soft kiss. But it's not a normal kiss you notice. His lips kiss yours for a longer time than usual.
"Perhaps you need a break?" he asks you gingerly, grabbing your hands and pulling you out of your chair, leading you to the sofa inside the living room.
He sits down first, pulling you on top of him. Your knees are on both sides of his thighs, and your hands are on his shoulders, his on your waist.
You look into his eyes and he looks into yours, admiring each other with loving gazes. He smiles and pulls you into an unexpected hug, his hands wrapping around your figure and yours around his neck.
You breathe in his comforting scent, sighing in relief. He's here you think to yourself, relaxing in his warm embrace. He knows you needed a hug, being too stressed about exams and barely interacting with anyone. It's like you've zoned off to yourself lately.
He pulls back after a few minutes, his lips immediately landing back on yours. His hands move back to your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your hands move from his neck to the back of his head, deepening the kiss.
As your mouth moves against his, his tongue darts out to lick your lips, asking for entrance. When you wouldn't get the message, his hands grind your hips on him, making you let out a muffled whine, taking the opportunity to slide his tongue into your parted lips.
You gasp at the sensation, his tongue meeting yours and exploring your mouth, all while his lips massage against yours. After a while, he pulls away out of breath, breathing heavily trying to catch his breath; just like you.
"Fuck Y/n, You're driving me crazy-" he almost cuts himself off as he leans in again, too addicted to your kisses. You part your lips again, and your tongues collide once again, he sucks on your wet muscle, trying to suck it into his mouth.
It's your turn to explore his mouth now. Saliva mixes together as you two become literally tongue-tied; Your tongues in each other's mouth, tasting one another.
You subconsciously grind on his crotch, too aroused with the feeling of his mouth on yours. His hands reach higher till they're situated under your bra-less breasts, subtly feeling them on his palm.
He lets out a whimper when you place pressure on a particular spot, alerting you of what you are doing. You pull away, looking at his state, messy hair and hazed eyes.
"Would it be okay if I kissed your neck?" he questions hopefully, out of breath. You hum positively and nod your head, giving him the greenlight. He hesitantly leans in, his soft lips making contact with your neck. Goosebumps decorate your skin at the contact, a shiver running up your spine.
Not long after you feel his tongue on your skin, licking a stripe up your neck. You hands grip his hair, pulling at it when he kisses a particular sensitive spot on your neck.
"Mmm yeah Wonnie, keep going" you encourage, your hands gripping harder on his soft hair and your hips rocking desperately on his hardening length.
You feel him get harder, but you don't say anything, now wanting to embarrass him. He continues abusing your neck, sucking harshly and reddening your skin. You would even feel his teeth sometimes, gently biting love marks on the side of your neck.
Suddenly, he pulls back "Why'd you stop?" you ask him, disappointed. "It will leave a mark if I continue" he explained "There are red marks already"
You smile at his concern "They're just hickeys Jungwon. It's fine, I know how to cover them up" you mumble, petting his hair. "So how about you give me some?"
He looks up at you as he leans down again, this time not holding back and fully marking you as his. His hands that were on your waist snuck under your shirt, feeling your warm skin.
He sucks desperately on your neck, reddening marks blooming on there. "How about I give you some?" you ask him "Will you let me kiss your neck?"
He leans back to admire his work and nods at you once he considers the question. He stands there awkwardly till you lean into his neck, starting off with a few gently kisses, almost in a teasing manner, pecking his skin.
He starts whining the second you lips meet the skin right below his ear, his sensitive spot, kissing it a little bit harder just to make him squirm. You suck it and gently nip at it, not wanting to mark him in such an evident area since he's not allowed.
Your tongue licks a stripe down his neck and your lips land on his collarbones, sucking and gently biting at the pretty bones. He whimpers softly, bucking up into you and holding your waist tighter, surely leaving a mark.
"Mm Y/n" he throws his head back to give your lips more space to work on as his hands guide your hips to grind on him at a decent pace, not too fast but not slow either.
You hands also make their way up his sweater, resting on his abs for support. You lean back and admire the red blooming marks on his collarbones, where they can be easily hidden.
"You're so pretty Wonnie" you worship, making a blush creep onto his cheeks. He smiles at you "So are you" He leans in again, but just as he's going to stick his tongue into your mouth (for the nth time) you hear the main door unlock.
"Shit, my parents are here"
Thankyou so much for reading!
Tbhhhh I don't really know about this one. It's clearly not my best work since I'm not used to 'mild smut' or suggestiveness in general. Butttt I do hope that I can write better fics for Jungwon in the future.
Also a lot of you have been giving me the go ahead to write smut for Jungwon (Tysm for sharing your opinions!) so I might consider it!
If you enjoyed this post, you can help support my blog by tipping me here! Anything is highly appreciated!
#enhypen#jungwon enhypen#enhypen smut#enha#jungwon x you#jungwon x y/n#jungwon x reader#jungwon fics#jungwon scenarios#jake enhypen#jay enhypen#heeseung enhypen#enhypen jungwon#enhypen masterlist#making out with jungwon#sub enhypen#enhypen hyung line#sunghoon enhypen#sunoo enhypen#niki enhypen#jungwon suggestive#boyfriend jungwon#yang jungwon#heeseung#sunoo#sunghoon#enhypen jake#jungwon#yang jungwon smut#jungwon smut
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i just wanted to pop by and gush about how incredibly well written vivi is because GOD. his story unfolding has made me reconsider several story beats about my wol and thats an amazing thing
theres two things that i think uve done especially well with his storytelling, being that vivi feels like an almost complete enigma to the reader, despite how intimate this story is, and the fact that vivi feels incredibly human - almost TOO human to be comfortable with
so to elaborate on the first point - i think a lot of us (and certainly i can) echo thancreds sentiment that he doesn't know vivian rell, because as intimate as this story can get with his pov, in the end, much like someone you'd meet in real life, we don't know much about him before the point we meet him, and any glimpses we get just signal that theres so much more to him than we get to see. and as much as we DO know about him, i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering. to that end i really like how enigmatic uve made him from a storytelling perspective, because it makes him feel so much more real!!! i honestly look forward a lot to learning more fragments (heh) of him and slowly piecing together a puzzle of him as the story goes on. i just want to rotate him in my head lol
but also, this does segue into my other point really well, which is the fact that vivis position as wol really seems to wear on him, and he seems for lack of a better word, completely exhausted! i know (myself included) write their wols with a trait of an almost unbreakable, iron will, which is very much still true in vivis case (again, anyone who gets to the point of shadowbringers without flat out giving up is incredibly strong by default) but showing him at his wits end, exhausted with the burdens of a hero, someone just so throughly *done* with what is, realistically, a pretty shit job is well... yeah! of course he is! he's only human, and he's what, saved the world 3 times now? seen countless die before him, powerless to save them, of course he's numb. the fact that the most defining experiences of the first for him are filled with mostly such... benign experiences, and that the major, climatic moments of shadowbringers get as much fanfare as a forlong gaze, or a like. him hanging out with his fairy bestie is such a cool storytelling decision. (also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot) basically, what i've been gushing about is the fact that vivi feels very much like a whole person, and is probably one of the most well realised wols ive ever read about. and his relationships with the world leaders, and this impossible burden hes forced to shoulder has gotten me to reconsider how i write my wol, because yeah! any hero might be strong-willed and resilient, but theyre still human, and the burden of a warrior of light is maybe, a little too much for anyone to bear.
i hope u could at least make something out of my rambles, but honestly to sum it all up i am incredibly captivated by vivi. i originally read fragments because i like ANY wolgraha content but now, i come back almost exclusively to see how vivi's story unfolds, and how graha eventually comes into the fold too. hes such a fascinating character, and i think youve done an incredible job of creating a well rounded hero, full of humanity!!! (also, if you want, feel free to post this on ur blog!!)
I think I shat myself like 5 times while reading this (positive)
Vivi being an enigma wasn't really part of the plan. We have a pool that's his lore, things I wanna tell, and a bottleneck through which it has to go. The comic format forces me to consider what bits of info to deliver when, there's only so much I can tell at a time. One deliberate choice I made is completely burn the bridge between ARR and ShB, skip, leave it empty. That already sparks questions when we see a different Vivi at the beginning of ShB (and gives me leeway, time to write with more nuance, I didn't Think about HW-SB in such scrupulous detail as ShB).
I wanted to tell a primarily ShB story from the start, but had less ambition, and planned to condense the angsty bits that you're reading nowadays into an infodump told by Vivi to no one (to the reader). Changing the receiving party to a tangible character who's eager to learn (Exarch) made the info easier to digest and anchored it in the world. This change, fwiw, happened in like 2022 while I drew the ARR arc, saw the warm reception, and got more excited about my thing. I constantly learn and try to improve, writing's a new toy that brings me tons of fun.
So, when I learned the new trick - telling things through other characters - I thought, why not make everyone slightly wrong, or rather, with a specific snapshot of Vivi in their head. Same happens irl, people only know the version of you that they're exposed to, the only person who knows the full and real you is you.
That brings me to the next point, why Vivi feels so human: I made him not as a wol/hero, but a guy I wanna ship with Exarch, his foil. Obligatory note it was dumb of me to ignore Emet's existence in that case, but that's already changed. Exarch denies himself the simple human joys, he plots his own fucking death, so I thought I'd give him a guy that teaches him how to enjoy being alive again. That was THE foundation of Vivi, his core. He's a manic pixie dream boy.
Then I started asking how and why: why he falls for Exarch specifically instead of ARRRaha? He's confident, selfish, casual (these traits are what Exarch lacks), emotionally intelligent, where did that come from? He must've had an utterly normal life and loving family before he became a hero. He grew up being appreciated and happy. OH, then his ass must LOATHE the current situation because he can't go back to that normal life! So on, so forth.
i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering.
This's me carefully dropping the breadcrumbs and hoping that you notice them, and you go HOLY SHIT BREADCRUMBS, this's so validating ;w; <3 This's overtly called a story hook, though I prefer "door". So far this story's only opened doors, as in hinted at more stuff without immediately showing it. I love it when questions get delayed answers, when you get time to stew on it and build up anticipation, then, when the door finally closes, it's much more satisfying. I keep in mind all the doors I've opened, if something provokes a question, it's by design.
(also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot)
You're 100% correct!! I'm not retelling the canon ShB story from a default wol pov, this's a custom thing focused on ships, therefore anything that doesn't contribute to said ships gets cut. You may read what's NOT shown as what Vivi doesn't pay attention to.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, this gave me so much motivation like you wouldn't know ;//////;
#with your help i wrote The Official Vivi Post it seems#vivien rell#replies#fragments feedback#fragments talk#text post
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