#mostly angry but also. other things | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jingyismom · 2 years ago

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planning a nice trip for yourself is all well and good until you take a bit of a dip and remember that at the end of it you'll have to come back to a place where you just hope and pray every day you don't get sick or injured because it'll put you into massive debt

#sorry for woe-posting on main its just. sometimes i fail in my efforts to Not Think About It #obviously there are much worse situations one could be in but wow is it bad for the brain to feel trapped in this one regardless #mostly angry but also. other things #this isnt a hunt for sympathy so dont Worry just. u gotta vent sometimes so u dont stew as much u know

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maretriarch · 8 months ago

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Just in time for 4/13 here's the second line of my r63 dolls, this time CREEPover themed with bonus accessories! in an ideal world they would come in adorable recuperacoon shaped packaging. and probably a sopor slime making kit because kids love slime. which one are YOU picking up from your local Goreget today?

#my art #homestuck #tavros nitram #sollux captor #gamzee makara #karkat vantas #equius zahhak #eridan ampora #sorry this took literally over a year to draw i was extremely ill with a brain parasite #i would do a lot differently now but dhdhdhdhshs whatever #a deluxe set would have like sollux with a bunk bed type recuperacoon or maybe an eridan lagoona hydration station type thing #or tiny lusus pets i almost did that for eq a tiny knee height sized aurthour carrying like milk and cookies on a platter on his back #other playsets would include a giant bee hive mainframe/90s clunky home computer desk for sollux a very fancy bathtub playset gamzee would #have a little kitchen set that made sopor pie like those diy chapstick playsets #also the packaging i was picturing it would be like flap style like those halloween rainbow high ones but with a little green tinted window #where the recuperacoon holes are so you can see the doll through it #a teeny polished marble style weight lifting set for equius would also be really good....maybe half marble half like the decrepit robotic #aesthetic he has going on #peep the little details but also not too much. mostly please laugh at karkats pajamas ive been laughing at them for a year also the pizza #was supposed to be an angry karkat face

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barbieaiden · 9 months ago

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when you're the main character's little brother and doomed by the narrative because the author decided that the cult trauma wasn't enough. rip aaron

#ts4 render #aaron #aaron is a curious case as a character because i think in the very first thing i wrote about aiden and sam #aaron was not a nice person he was still in the cult and aiden and aaron never had a good relationship #but aiden still felt guilty about you know. leaving aaron at the cult because aiden still recognizes that aaron is just mimicking their #parents etc etc #then i think i changed it so that aaron and aiden did have a good relationship but aiden did leave aaron at the cult #so then he very understandably feels guilty about that but the thing is aaron is. dead in this version too #so aiden very much feels responsible for aaron's death and he also theorizes that the people in the cult literally killed aaron #which i'm pretty sure wasn't actually the case but aiden's like trying to find someone other than himself to be angry at. you know #and THEN came the versions where aaron does run away with aiden #but now aaron instead dies under aiden's care and their relationship is like pretty complicated before aaron's death #mostly because of aiden's addiction so aiden very much feels responsible for aaron dying. so yeah

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thedreadvampy · 6 months ago

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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

#red said #recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis #like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes #and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not #for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening #i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine #as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital #as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin #ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes #some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am #bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me #like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD #there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife #but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't #tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us #like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well #i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point #anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also #been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them #i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it #most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables #honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk #is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry

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alagaisia · 2 months ago

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Hey if you’re still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me 😊 please and thank you

Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (“She was writing kids books!” They said. “She didn’t know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didn’t examine it closely. It’s a mistake anyone could make,” we said. “She would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,” we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.

That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of “maybe she doesn’t realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERF” and then “how could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things she’s retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her work” and finally “oh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.”

Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasn’t trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. It’s weird to discover that there’s a room in your house that’s rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you can’t live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending it’s still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadn’t yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because what’s going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.

JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic children’s books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.

#mine #Harry potter cw #yeah I don’t want to see or think about this shit either and I’m sure most of my followers are on the same page of just like. let’s wipe it #from the public consciousness and do our best to just completely ignore it and forget it existed and in doing so take away JKRs platform and #influence and also stop the continued harm the series will do by propagated hateful biases in people who continue to read it #but despite heavily culling my feed over the course of the past several years and thankfully mostly not seeing HP fandom things anymore #I’ve been seeing a lot of responses today to people defending it and honestly I forget that there are still people out there doing that who #think they are just fine and normal fandom people with non-hateful and terrible interests and it makes me so angry #maybe more so because like. I was there too! I was annoyingly obsessed with Harry Potter from the ages of idk seven? up until whenever JKR #started being openly transphobic. I have so much fucking knowledge about this book series that will never leave my brain. and yeah it was #weird and hard to have to rethink things and realize that no actually it does feel bad and uncomfortable to continue to be a fan even #passively of these books. it was a big part of my childhood and several of my friendships. I fully get it. I was the weird kid also.#it was weird and hard to say oh actually this sucks and I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. but I did it! I got there! because it was #more important to care about real actual things and people than it is to fondly remember a book series for children.#and at the time it felt like maybe I did hang on a little longer than I could have and was a little later than some people and figuring out #my feelings and moving on from the whole thing. but it was still fucking years ago. and you’re still here?#because you like the color of the wallpaper in this shitty rotten broken down tacked on room? because we used to spend time there together?#buddy the room was giving us lead poisoning the whole time and the rest of us have accepted that and we are all outside doing other things.#you will find connection and community in so many places in your life. I promise. get the fuck out of that terrible awful room #and for gods sake stop bring out handfuls of mold you found under the floorboards and shoving it in our faces #nobody fucking wants this. we did it. we’re done.#so yeah I think I have an extra level of disdain because I know from personal experience that it’s not *that* fucking hard to care more #about real life trans people than about antisemitic children’s books.

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lemonduckisnowawake · 10 months ago

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Me, today: I will not get angry about people slandering Jesus. I will not lose my temper seeing yet another post throwing His character in the garbage as some politically woke or politically conservative people pleaser. I will not stab my hand with a fork when I see people poking fun at his friendships as homoerotic - *sees a post like that and slowly steps out of the internet*

No seriously. I am shaking the screen and BEGGING people to remember that even though Western Christian traditionalism has deep, *deep* wrongs, There Are Literal People Dying And Being Tortured Because Of Their Faith In Christ In The Modern World. And the way I see people making light of faith and outright mocking it or "dumbing it down" to appeal to their own moral worldview is sometimes kind of painful

#lemon duck quacks #i need a salt tag so people can block that....#I'll think of one later #anyway yeah....sometimes the things i see western folk doing to Christianity makes me sigh #what is it about humanity's need to make a mockery out of the things we disagree with?#I've caught myself doing it sometimes too and it's just sad #like I've seen people make mockery out of Eastern spirituality and religions or Islam or something #and it DOES make me mad #especially when I see adherents of those religions trying to placate people by going #'oh our worldview DOES actually support yours! we're friendly to your political stance :)'#when no. NO. you guys don't have to defend your worldview like that???#worldviews are called such because they're different and there WILL be times when moralities clash against each other!#DRAMATICALLY #and it's up to you to see if you can keep being friends/interacting with someone who has a drastically different moral standard than you #and if you can't there is no reason to try and make their religion/worldview fits yours or whatever #this is aimed at Christians too who try and force non-Christians to see things through their perspective btw #also just because you hate someone's viewpoint because it's objectively wrong to you doesn't mean you have to mock it or them #by all means try and deconstruct it if you want but stop making fun of it or pretending you know eeeeeverything about their worldview #sorry you guys i am VERY salty #maybe a tad bit angry but mostly salty #anyway you religious people who have studied your texts and persist in living it out even if it doesn't conform to the western world's #political worldviews (whether liberal or conservative in the us or uk or etc sense) have all my respect and 'hwaiting's #stars I'm so salty i could perseve my own meat with it

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dewvorce-flowers · 1 month ago

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Self affirmations to myself : You started this blog so you could have a fun archive of stuff from the new fandom you just joined(that'sover a year now btw, been A Ride). Don't overthink stuff like seeming too online or how much you can reblog before it becomes annoying just because a small handful of people follow this now.

(Btw sorry if I ever ignore DMs I either forgot or my brain decided that actually answering will take too much energy)

#just got too into my own head again because I noticed just how much more stuff I reblog compared to others #just how much time is spent online #but like even if there's better ways to spend my day #that doesn't change the fact that I'm ill and mostly homebound atm #like sure I could be beating myself up over how little i do and how much more I used to be able to do (I do that too but I shouldnt)#and instead appreciate that I'm privileged to have the ability to just be at home sick and enjoy my time recovering as best as I can #but it gets tiring when the chronic illness doesn't improve even after months or rather years tbh #and why am I able to reblog so much on here but still haven't replied to RL friends #I'm also mourning what I could do in this fandom #like I'm a decent photoshopper with a ton of ideas just wasting away in my draft file #or I have soooo many fic ideas and while I'm a horribke writer I would still love to take a crack at them #instead it's lying in bed with pain and brain fog reblogging funny stuff #this isn't a knock on the funny stuff it's literally one of the few things keeping me from sliding into very bad depression but y'know #sometimes which there was a way to voice call with people about their post cause on some days even typing gets too much #okay this is enough self pity #delete later #abi rambles #I can't ever be truly angry at having gotten into hockey cause this fandom has so many cool people and actually got me to jump over #my own shadow and DM people on my own for the first time!!!

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redrobin-detective · 1 year ago

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Who needs a diary when I pinpoint my exact thoughts and mental state when I read over my old writing?

#I havent read glory since posting #mostly bc I moved on from bnha rather quickly lol #got a review which made me reread and uhhhhh ma'am were you ok 6 months ago??#I still think Glory is a good fic and I really loved exploring baku's relationship with himself and others #but alsooooo #work was super stressful in december #hospital kept demanding we work more and more with heavier patient loads #I was also helping orient a new nurse who was er not picking things up quickly #I just felt this huge weight of responsibility I was failing to meet #guilt over not being good enough #angry at being forced into this shitty situation #all with a lingering awareness that I would turn 30 in 2023 #and I can feel alllllll that and more through bakugou in the fic #I put so much of my current self into the story when I write #that uh I can feel it when I reread #sorry but MGM will likely never continue despite having ideas bc the lingering ANXIETY from covid makes it impossible to write

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oathofkaslana · 11 months ago

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yk it is a certain type of anger when the only chinese character w a non-mandarin name is being mocked for his name. i can only imagine the anger canto players have right know, knowing that a large portion of them are in the U.S.

#gi #sinophobia cw #i know i mostly hyphenate his name for clarity but god part of me wants to take that away and force people to recognize his name as it is!!!#and it makes me so sad and angry that we have to see this happen all the time!#the thing is! even w racist players making fun of chngyun’s name it wasn’t like he was the only chinese character!!#he lives in a region full of cgaracters with chinese names!!!!!#and we can at least find some solace in that!#but you can’t do that w mingming bc he’s the only one w a non-mandarin name #and again: respectability politics doesn’t and will never work #but i also know that if he were using any other dialect that was lesser known #we’d be dealing w even more mf’s making jokes abt how they didn’t even know that dialect existed #(even now though i still see people not understanding or respecting canto)#f criti

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2024skin · 4 months ago

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1 month ago today my exes mom died is it too soon to tell him I unfriended him and ignored his message because I kind of think he raped me

#i never planned on telling him cuz honestly even tho i dont want him in my life anymore i dont know if what happened was actually rape #theres been a lot of debate over whether or not my specific situation was rape or what the feminists like to call “maintenance sex”#so it feels rather cheap of me to call it rape when our collective idea of rape is so much more sinister than what happened to me #but anyways i didnt want to talk to him about any of this because i dont know what to say about it and i think hes too sexist to listen #but i Did get a very funny and wholesome snap memory of him and one of my besties so i sent it to him #and thats how i found out he reached out to me exactly a month ago to tell me his mom died and to ask for support #which of course i cannot provide cuz i feel too conflicted about him to put aside my ego + i feel that he doesnt deserve that from Me anywa #see also my resistance to cutting him out of my life to the point that i didnt block him or delete all of his pictures #i didnt even get rid of all of his things i kept the sweater his mom gave him cuz i Knew she was going to die too soon #and i knew he would miss wearing this sweater which is the one from his favorite picture of him and his mom together #so not only is the context of this situation very ambiguous but also i dont really feel the way i think a rape victim is Supposed to feel #i mean i have my moments when i really think about it where im hurt and im angry and i cant help my reaction to it even years later #but otherwise im fine and even when it comes to him i was mostly chill and stayed with him for a year after it happened #so i dont feel i have any right to call it rape and yet it was definitely not consensual sex #and theres just no other word to describe ambiguously nonconsensual sex

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eclaire-went-bam · 8 months ago

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ngl character ai is really boring

on one hand, yeah it's ai and it's steals from existing writing and ouuugh ai is bad we all know this but i do see a lotta people even from creative spheres talk about it positively a lot — which i'm not tryna get on a high horse about, mind you. i really liked it at first too

but it's like...so;; boring? everything misses that human aspect, or there are small subtleties it doesn't understand or whatever. sometimes it's funny for trolling, but for characters and world-building and roleplays, imo, it's soooo boringggg. it says the same things half the time and obviously doesn't know where to go. nothing's ever interesting. it really does feel like junk. which it is. but like. how did it get so popular. i don't get how most my friends are still so extremely attached to it

#anti ai #there's also this one thing that's mostly me-specific #i dont mind the 18+ filter. i'm not interested in that. however istg they also block violence #idk if it's officially part of their terms of service now as i haven't kept updated in months now #but i remember when violence was pretty free on there #then it started to get softblocked #and tonight when i tried again i literally couldn't even get a bot to so much as Threaten me without the message being flagged #and it wasnt even a serious conversation or roleplay or anything. i was literally just trolling a bot until it got that angry #i think that doesn't help. like at all.#for me at least. i know there's others like that too but ykn #anyways

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flickeringflame216 · 9 months ago

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💬

#being a hermit is ever more attractive like every day honestly #listen. In theory I would love to be Informed and Involved in Discourse but in reality there are several problems #the first of which is me. I'm neither patient nor self aware enough especially recently #the second is other people and again its also maybe a me problem but I Do Not Wish to engage with angry people who can't have a discussion #rather than a full on fight.#then there's the problem of having opinions in general. I care very deeply about a (relative) few things and outside of that #I don't care strongly enough to come to an informed opinion. And sometimes this is Bad.#as someone who usually enjoys looking at a topic with other people who see it differently and forming an opinion and all that #I'm just very weary of discourse.#not just on tumblr or even mostly here. It's in my real life and somewhat unavoidable. But I think getting more comfortable with saying #“I don't have an opinion on that subject but I'm interested in your perspective anyway”#would be good.#that or leaving civilization forever.

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concerto-roblox · 2 years ago

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i spend a bit of time on twitter for fandom stuff bc there are some really talented artists and writers but oh my god i have to limit my time on that app so much compared to tumblr bc one tiny thing will happen and suddenly there'll be the most despair-inducing discourse ever and i genuinely want to die