#mostly I find him not very interesting and I don't want the show to take away screentime from characters I like to make him more interestin

[the-sprog]

Caving and writing a plot bunny because I have ideas and now this is too flashed out not to write a fic for it, and I'll forget if I don't write it down somewhere

Timeline I've come up with:

Nicky AU where Sonic has been, for years, telling his parents that he (as Nicky) is part of team Sonic, but he only does coding (like for robots and their communicators) for them and never fights in the front lines.

What happened is that after a few months of Sonic taking over Nicky's body to save the day, Nicky started to take care of the issues himself out of spite. Done with the fact that everyone liked Sonic more than him. It came to a point that Sonic didn't show up anymore, making Eggman (who went to Hedgehog village for Sonic) lose interest with the place.

When he turned 6, he moved away to go live with Uncle Chuck, so he could study somewhere more challenging. He an Amy barely talked anymore, as she would turn every conversation into Sonic praise, worsening Nicky's inferiority complex. During his stay in the bigger city, Eggman attacks and Nicky figures out he's been Sonic all along. And running? Oh, he LOVES running.

However, he starts getting severe social anxiety fueled by a really strong impostor syndrome, causing the start of his selective mutism. For a while, Uncle Chuck is the only one he talks to as Sonic (Nicky still goes to class without issues).

That's when he meets Amy again. She left home shortly after Nicky to go find Sonic and join in his adventures. I imagine that her relationship with her parents wasn't all that great, so she decided to run away when Nicky, her only safe space, left.

Meeting her really hammer in that he's not good enough to be Sonic, as Sonic used to have no issues beating Eggman and his robots to scrap metal.

Not too long after, he meets Tails, who had actually been to Hedgehog village for Sonic as well and knew Nicky and Sonic were the same person. He explains to Nicky (while fixing up the Tornado (who is actually Uncle Chuck's)) that Sonic told him he was from the future and that he couldn't explain what had actually happened in fear of messing up the timeline and creating a paradox. He said that everything will be explained in due time and that he's sure Nicky will figure everything out.

At first, Sonic talked to Tails, too. But it was clear that Tails, just like Amy, had a very specific idea of how Sonic was. Scared of disappointing Tails by being too much like Nicky, he stops talking with him as well. When Uncle Chuck dies, they take the Tornado to start traveling and fighting Eggman. This is when he tells his parents that he joined Team Sonic, saying that he wanted to repay them after they helped him stop Eggman. In exchange to letting him come, he gave them the Tornado.

He continues his studies remotely, still as Nicky if course.

It isn't until the end of the whole Angel Island Death Egg situation that Sonic speaks for the first time in forever. The whole adventure, the emeralds, helping Knuckles, it all made him feel... like himself. Like for the first time he actually was Sonic. Knuckles never learns that Sonic used to not speak, because he was under the impression they were just busy with Eggman and that Sonic was simply a hedgehog of few words until he got closer to people.

Shadow only learns about it when he meets Classic Sonic. The time shenanigans is also how Nicky was becoming Sonic.

Until his mom, Brenda, and his sister, Anita, come surprise visit them. The team had kind of settled down, mostly to give Tails an actual workshop. Afterall, between the Tornado, Shadow's chaos control, and Sonic's running they had no issues getting to wherever was getting attacked.

When Amy opens the door to see Brenda, she's confused, but excited. Before she can say anything wrong, Sonic invites them in, telling them he'll go get Nicky, and pulling Amy to the side to ask her to just go along with whatever Nicky says. She doesn't get the chance to ask how he knows where Nicky is and why his mom thinks he's at their house, but she agrees.

Sonic goes to tell Tails, warning him about Any possibly blowing their entire cover.

As Nicky, Sonic puts on glasses and an oversized sweater. He changes his iconic shoes (with a non small amount of reluctance) and takes things slow.

Amy is... Conflicted. She's happy to see Nicky, truly, but she's not happy that he's lying to his mom and sister. She doesn't understand why he's doing it, as to her it doesn't seem like him. She remembers him a lot... Meeker. Smart and nerdy, but kind of a coward. She'd always thought he'd have gotten along with Tails if they'd had the chance to properly meet, and there they are. Acting like they've been friends for years.

When Shadow shows up, Sonic thinks he's going to fuck it all up. Amy accidentally saves him by introducing him as Nicky, to which Tails explains he's the one that deals all their tech related problems and needs.

Shadow sees through it, raises an eyebrow, and asks if they're fucking with him. They assure him not. Then Brenda and Anita introduce themselves and Shadow takes Sonic aside to get a better explanation. Which he gets in the form of panicked rambling. Shadow agrees not to rat him out, but he also doesn't agree to cover for him.

Shadow tells everyone that he was supposed to meet Sonic for a run, but that the hedgehog bailed on him to go help the Chaotix. Internally, Sonic cusses him out because he knows he'll have to pay then for their silence.

Amy tries to get him to stay, as they'd made plans with Knuckles to have a picnic nearby, but Shadow claims to have some GUN paperwork to deal with. Sonic knows it's bullshit. He knows Shadow doesn't do paperwork.

But she convinced Brenda and Anita to join them.

Nicky meets Knuckles, gets his hand fake crushed (which he lets his mom bandage and ice) and yells at Anita when she says she wants to be part of Team Sonic, too.

Of course, that's when Eggman attacks. Seeing Nicky, Eggman immediately targets him. For old times' sake, he says.

Any tries to contact Sonic but he's not available, so she contacts Chaotix, but they say he's not with them. Tails tells her to call Shadow, and she -reluctantly- does.

Shadow helps save Sonic, making it clear that he's going to hold this over his head forever.

Anita is distraught.

Amy asks Shadow why he said Sonic was with Chaotix.

Sonic tries punching Shadow for his shitty lie. He doesn't succeed, as he's determined not to use his speed, and Shadow gets him in a headlock. Calmly, he says he doesn't know why Sonic would lie to him, but the hedgehog is not his problem. He lets go of Nicky, who gets fussed over by his mom.

Tails, who's been keeping this secret for years, decides that throwing Sonic under the bus to save Nicky some grief is justified. So, he tells them that Sonic has severe social anxiety and does do well meeting new people in these kinds of circumstances. And that he's never met parents of friends he's made, and he couldn't face them.

On the one hand, Sonic gets upset at Tails for telling everyone about it because yeah it's kind of based on the truth. But on the other, it's his mom and sister (and Amy but she kind of already knew. Shadow also knew but not the reason behind it all. So he knows he's going to have to answer questions about it) so he pushes it down.

This is all I have for now actually lol idk how this fic would continue, but I think this start is kinda good. Maybe Eggman fucked up too much and Sonic reveals himself. Idk.

[needlepointgrizzly]

lowkey I find the whole tommy thing pretty funny. on one side he's this fandom's drake, they hate the way that he talks the way that he walks they hate the way that he dress, literally beating his ass and hiding the bible if god watching. on the other side he's blorbo from their 13 episodes, they want him in an endgame romance, they want to make him a main, they want bobby with his dying breath to name him captain of the 118. I saw these two completely opposite opinions take over my dash for a year before I finally caved and watched the show and it turns out? he's just some guy?? good at helicopter bad at dating??? amazing experience. this whole cyclone of fervent emotion and at the centre of it all I find the televisual equivalent of store brand potato chips.

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

Omg, I read and reread your fitness influencer x chubby cooking influencer like five or six times already! Would you consider writing more parts to it, please?

Omg i would love to, lemme cook for a sec sksksk

CW: chubby fem cooking influencer reader x fitness influencer fave, fluff, smut, mentions of internet trolls being mean, not proofread i am sorry sksksk

So, chubby cooking influencer reader and fitness influencer

A match made in heaven tbh sksksk

But it's very normal at first! Like i said in my original post, reader and fitness influencer (i.e. your fave) just start the relationship with simple conversation

Your likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, you chat about it all on social media!

His instagram has a lot of tagged photos of your recipes that he tries, as well as photos of him at the gym

His youtube is mostly vlogs of his days as an influencer and workouts and all that

He's always very good about tagging you, even if he just mentions your channel in passing, he's tagging you in the description AND comments

And you always thank him in his dms for tagging you

He starts expecting it now, seeing your notification and it brightens his day

He plays it cool tho, always thanking you in return and asking how your day is going

Which of course leads to conversations about other things (what did you do today, what did you eat, what are you up to)

He likes you, he really likes you

But he tries to be suave, just being nice at first, but he's always thinking of you tbh

At the gym, at home, when he's eating, in the shower, in bed 😏

He ends up jerking off to you quite a bit, though he won't admit it, he's too shy for that sksksk

He does ask about the general area you live in and gets excited when he finds out how close you are

Takes a lot of guts but he ends up asking you on a date, offering to pay for a nice meal and a movie if you want

Does a fist bump and jump when you accept sksksk

He dresses nice for your date, opting to wear dress pants and a tight button up shirt to show off his muscles

BUT YOU?? OMG YOU LOOK SO CUTE

You've got on a yellow sundress with flowers and white heels and a sun hat and he is just UGH so obsessed with you

Date goes well. He's happy to see you eating freely and without a care about how he may think, plus you get dessert and you lick cream off your lips and he has to excuse himself to go to the bathroom and calm himself down bc he got a boner 😔

Before the date ends, he asks you if you two can do this again, and you turn bashful

"You really want to hang out with me again??" you ask with big doe eyes

"Of course I do. I wanna date you, Y/N. And fuck you the way you deserve"

....is what he wishes he said sksksk

But instead he just nods, screaming inside bc you are honestly just so precious

You go on a second date, and a third, and a fourth and a fifth and honestly he is getting a little frustrated bc you have not even tried to hold his hand yet

He tried making the first move, but you're always just out of reach, just a little too far away from him to do anything

He agonizes over it a little bit, asking his gym bros what he should do

"Maybe she's just not into you dude"

"Just grab her and kiss her dude"

"I don't know man, i like men, not women"

They're no help tbh sksksk

He just decides to ask you on your next date and figure out why you won't initiate things with him

When he asks you, your eyes go wide and he thinks that if you could blush, your whole body would turn red

"What?! This whole time we've been going on dates?! I thought you just liked food as much as me and wanted to share it!"

He feels like he's gonna bang his head against a wall sksksk

TO BE FAIR! When he asks you out, he always refers to it as "hanging out" so you can't be blamed for getting confused

You decide to sit down with some ice cream and talk about how you both feel

He admits that he's been crushing on you for a while before you met and that he wanted to date you

You shyly admit that you find him very attractive but thought he was out of your league so you never considered that he could have feelings for you he's gonna crack his head open on the pavement omg sksksk

He reassures you that he genuinely likes you and is attracted to you and wants to have a romantic relationship with you

It's hard for you to believe, he's just so handsome and big and strong, is this real life or a dream??

You decide to let him prove it to you with more dates uwu

You start getting closer to him, letting him put his arm around around you, holding your hand

You're very anxious when he tries to kiss you, but once it happens it feels like fireworks are going off in your brain

You really like kissing him, just because he's always so gentle and he's so close and he's warm

You really, really like him 🥺

But don't worry sweet love, he likes you just as much if not more sksksk

He's so obsessed with you it's honestly kind of silly sksksk

He thinks about you all the time! And he wants to be with you all the time! He feels like he's gonna explode every time you show up to a date in a cute outfit!

He wants to make the relationship official and exclusive, so he asks to make a vlog with you

You agree! Not only do you think it would be good traction for your channel, but it would be nice to spend the day with him :)

You both bring your cameras on the day of the vlog!

You start by getting breakfast, showing off your coffees

He gets annoyed that you JUST have a coffee, but you swear it fills you up and he lets it slide as long as you eat a good lunch

Then you go to the gym together! You just hang out on the treadmill while he does his weight lifting

Tbh he's very distracted by your outfit, your leggings make your ass look so fucking good, and he would've been fucked if he didn't have a spotter

Then you go to lunch and you gush about the food and the restaurant and he's infatuated with you 💕

You turn the camera towards him and he's just got a lovesick look on his face

Then you go to a movie and then you go to his apartment for dinner!

You cook dinner together, making a meal that the both of you can enjoy, one that is nutritious AND delicious

You finish the vlog by showing off your finished plates and talking about what a fun day you had :)

You're ready to pack up your stuff and go home, but he asks if you'd like to stay and hang out a bit more

You oblige. You're dating now so it makes sense for yall to spend more time together

You decide to cuddle up and watch a movie, but 20 minutes in, you guys are making out on his couch sksksk

Things get hot and heavy pretty quick, and now his hand is going up your shirt and he's squeezing your waist and you start getting shy 😔

Does he really want you? Is he really interested in you? Is he sure that he wants you and your body?

But then your leg moves and rubs against his crotch and good lordy you can feel his boner 😳

Ok, goodbye insecurities, he's def into you and you're gonna get your man 😏

You go to the bedroom, undress, and oh boy he is enamored by you

Your breasts, your thighs, your BELLY?? You're gorg and he's obsessed

But he's not the only one drooling sksksk has he seen himself lately? He's sculpted like a god, you can't believe you scored a guy like him

AND NOT TO MENTION HIS COCK SKSKSK like that thing is long and thick, you're genuinely wondering if it's gonna fot

The two of you spend a good five minutes just staring at each other and complimenting each others' physiques

Eventually you get to the sex part sksksk but there's a lot of praise along the way

He's so cute the way he kisses down your body and spreads your legs and nuzzles into your mound

He's not too bad at giving head. You have to give him a little direction but he gets the hang of it and makes you cum

You admit that you're a little scared of sucking his dick so he doesn't make you, you just go to the main event

You're not sure if you should let him hit it raw but you're too impatient to let him get a condom, you're on birth control and you need that dick NOW

He slides in very easily, you are unbelievably wet and oh my god, if he doesn't focus then he'll cum so easily

He fits inside you so well, filling you up just right without any pain

It's such a good fit, his cock feels soooooo good inside you

And then he starts thrusting and all bets are off

The sex is so fucking good, oh my GOD

He just keeps hitting your sweet spots and rubbing your clit and oh god you're cumming already

Your cunt squeezes him so deliciously and you're so pretty and cute when you cum and holy fuck the noises you make are just sinful and he needs to slow down bc if he doesnt he's not gonna last long

He makes you cum three times before he pulls out and cums all over your tummy

Thinks you look so cute covered in his cum 🥴

He ends up cleaning you off with his tongue which just makes you needy again and you ask him oh so sweetly if he can fuck you one more time and whoops now his cock is hard again, guess he's gotta fuck you 🤷‍♀️

You guys go at it all night, eventually showering and going to bed around 4am

Of course you sleep over, ain't no way in hell he's letting you leave after all that

You sleep in together and when you wake up he makes you breakfast 🥺💕

He uploads his vlog after editing it the next day, and you upload yours

Your comments are very sweet at first, congratulating you on your new relationship with this other influencer

But then they turn mean :( people start to say that you're not good enough for him, why is he even with you, he should be with this other fitness influencer instead :(

He is pissed. His fans are attacking you on your page 😡

He makes a video the next day and posts it where he explains that he loves you and is happy with you and that until the hate comments stop, he will not be posting on his page

He helps you delete and mute and block and filter comments and users

He's very upset about this entire experience

"I guess you don't want to be with me anymore, huh?" you ask

He's offended and hurt!

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, you saw what they said. Maybe you should be with someone better..."

"What are you talking about? I love you, Y/N. You're perfect for me and I don't want anyone else. Do you just not want to be with me?"

"No! I do! I just... worry that I'm not good enough for you..."

He grabs your hands and makes you look at him

"Y/N, you are perfect to me. I couldn't ask for anyone better. I love you and I want to be with you. Please don't let these trolls dictate your life."

You're still hurt by the comments, but your feelings for him overpower the negative things you're feeling

You keep dating, and as time goes on, you care less and less about the comments that were made about your relationship

You continue with your channel and vlogs with him and enjoy your life

You still get backlash every now and then from obsessed friends, but when that happens, you just turn your computer off and go on about your day

Negativity can really affect your life, but he's always there to cheer you up and fuck you stupid so you forget all those mean comments sksksk

You become the "it" couple in the fitness and cooking communities, everyone thinks you're so so cute together and such a good match, so fuck those online trolls! Your cooking besties and his gym bros love you two together and that's all that matters 💕

I imagine he proposes after a year of dating, not wanting to waste any more time without you

He proposes at your favorite restaurant, but you say no :(

To be fair, your reasons are justified. You guys have rarely had arguments, you haven't gone through many trials in your life, you don't even live together! How can you be sure that he's the one when you haven't truly struggled with him yet?

He understands, although he's diappointed 😔

On the bright side, you suggest moving in to an apartment together once your leases are up! And he's very happy about that :)

You guys adopt some kitty cats after you move in together! You adopt two kittens from the same litter and you love them so so much, they often appear in your vlogs and sometimes you do cat reviews like on cat trees and toys and stuff

He encourages you to go to the gym for health reasons, but he doesn't push it. He just wants you to take care of yourself so you can be around for as long as possible 💕

He's gained a little bit of pudge! He's still strong as hell, but he's got a little layer of fat over some of his muscles like his abs, he's just not as sculpted now

It's bc he can't resist your food sksksk

But you're still very attracted to him so he doesn't care so much

Overall, beautiful love story, match made in heaven 💕

[griffonsgrove]

Hiiii!!! See your doing writing requests for Hazbin, Its my hyperfixation so I am in need of more content 👀 so I'd like to request maybe Vox general or NSFW headcanon ( either one is good lol-) with a afab reader maybe? This is my first time requesting something like this so sorry if I'm a little nervous or bad at requesting. I think this is how people are supposed to request? XD

General Dating Headcanons | Vox

a/n: You're totally alright dear! You said everything just fine! As I've stated before, I got early access to the first two episodes, and it's been so interesting to analyze vox's character! I hope I can do him justice!! He's starting to grow on me now. I'm gonna stick with a gn!reader just because these are general headcanons and I want them to be suited for anyone!

fandom: Hazbin Hotel

wordcount: 1299

cw: SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL, swearing, vulgar content, stalking, death and mentions of death/murder., toxic/absuive relationships.

(PLATONIC):

Vox’s got eyes EVERYWHERE in hell. There is no escaping his line of sight unless you go completely off the grid. Which is pretty difficult to do when the entirety of pentagram city is covered head to toe in VoxTech.

However, if you don't pose a threat to him, he really doesn't give a shit about you otherwise, and won’t pay that much attention to your life.

When you first fell into hell, you were mostly confused as to how you wound up here in the first place. That quickly subsided into fear as you noticed the large variety of demons and sinners casually walking down the sidewalk like it was an average tuesday. 

You’ll never forget the sight of seeing a demon gnaw off the arm of another and swallow it whole, like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. 

You wander aimlessly down the streets, keeping to yourself and being very cautious of those around you. Your clothes were in tatters, and you didn't have any form of money whatsoever, what were you to do??

You had two options: Somehow find a job in this new horrific realm, or, die.

You didn't care too much for the latter.

This is how you stumble across one of the largest studios/clubs in hell, owned by probably the most feared overlords in pentagram city. The V’s. 

You get hired to be nothing more than a waiter/waitress, to serve the patrons of the club, mostly serving them their drinks.

You weren't too fond of the work uniform either. It left nothing to the imagination, and exposed alot of skin, far too much to your liking. The job actually paid somewhat decently though and it was enough to be able to sustain a living. You were quick to rent out the nearest apartment.

One day, while you’re out on the main floor, making your rounds, your eyes briefly lock with the TV demon across a sea of sinners. Call it cheesy, but it was almost like a spark went off the moment he laid eyes on you. Which is something that doesn't happen often with the tech-savvy overlord. Who were you??

He lazily beckons you over with a claw, to which you obediently follow, although it doesn't hide the sheer nervousness written all over your face, He gives you his drink order in that sultry, velvet voice of his, eyeing you up. You gulp slightly and are quick to bring him his order. He thought you were so cute trembling for him.

He begins to stalk observe you closer after that. If you have any electronic devices he’ll watch you through your screens, trying to get a glimpse into what your life was like outside of work. The things you enjoyed doing in your free time, favorite shows, foods etc.

He def goes through your search history.

He would start showing up more in the sections you worked at, oftentimes minding his business, but occasionally striking up a conversation with you.

You did have to admit he was quite the charmer, his smooth voice was hypnotic to you.

OBSESSIVE TENDENCIES. If he notices some creep won't leave you alone while you're working, he’ll take care of them personally, it’s never a pretty sight afterwards. He cant have anyone taking what's his.

You're oblivious to his stalking and possessiveness, you don't think much of it, maybe that's because he puts on a friendly face when you’re around him.

But after some time of getting to know you, He’s the one that eventually asks you out on a “date”. You’re skeptical at first, but decide to accept his offer. And also partially because you were afraid of what would happen if you said no.

(ROMANTIC):

Ngl it’s kind of a situationship in the beginning.

Vox is a busy man, it’s constant work maintaining the studios (especially valentinos temper) and managing the entirety of hell's technology. So, he may ghost you at first.

That being said, He will still keep an eye on you. He often watches through your phone while you sleep, just to make sure you’re safe. Hell is a dangerous place after all.

Speaking of, you’re now under the protection of the V’s, so that’s a plus! You never have to worry about another demon laying a finger on you. They usually never get close enough to anyways.

He very easily gets jealous. He won't show it on the outside because he has an image to uphold, but you can tell every time from that crazed look in his eyes.

Vox is a possessive lover; he wants to keep you all to himself. If he could, he’d keep you locked up by his side all day.

CONTROLLING. He HAS to know where you’re at, at all times, and who you’re going to be with (lest you face one of his tantrums). Also dictates what you wear, He likes to dress you up to his liking, like you’re his own personal doll.

Insecure much?

Say goodbye to privacy btw. He constantly has you in the back of his mind and a watchful eye on you. It can be kind of suffocating at times. The two of you have gotten into a few arguments because of this.

Valentino gets jealous of you too. How dare you take his boy-toy away from him? He’s often giving you the stink eye and will threaten you behind vox’s back. You’re too scared to tell Vox, because you don't want to face Val’s wrath.

You know briefly of his and Val’s “relationship” it all had seemed very one-sided and completely unhealthy.

You're often having to calm Vox down. The man has a very short temper and is easily provoked. 

Imagine you pressing little kisses to his screen after he found out about Alastor’s return. He remains stoic, but secretly enjoys your affection.

Some of the pet names he loves to call you include; Doll, Dear, Darling, Sweetheart, Babe.

Pretty old-fashioned ik, but he's a classy man alright?

He tends to be pretty touchy, always having a clawed hand on the small of your back, or an arm wrapped around your waist. It’s more of a possessive trait of his, to keep what's his close.

He loves having you sprawled on his lap while he’s in his screen room, you stay nuzzled into his side, often taking naps while he does broadcasts.

He TOTALLY spoils you btw. He’s one of the most powerful overlords in hell, ofc he has the money to show it. Whatever dingy apartment you had before, forget about it bc this man has you living in a penthouse suite in one of the most expensive apartment buildings. He sees you looking at something in a store or online?? Boom, it’s yours now.

He loves buying you clothes, as I’ve said before, you're his “doll” and he loves playing dress up with you.

And if you buy him something?? He’s taken by surprise at first, he’s never really been on the receiving end of that affection, so whatever it is you give him he’ll cherish it.

If you ever have someone bothering you, or want to get rid of, you just say the word babe. He’ll be feeding them to his sharks >:)

The man is emotionally constipated, ok?? All he’s ever known from relationships is what he shared with Val (and trust me that was a train wreck). He’s rough around the edges, short-tempered and isn't always easy to get along with, and he’s incredibly possessive which can be suffocating to deal with at times. This probably stems from him not wanting to actually be alone, He doesn't want you to slip out of his grasp, so he keeps a tight leash on you. But underneath all these flaws, he really does love you and care about you. At the end of the day, He just wants someone that will stay.

[sinsofnivan]

hiii thank you so much for writing carlos

eumm can I ask for another Carlos x reader fluff and nsfw

pleaseee im begging

Have a nice day!

divider gif belongs to kdanie.

CARLOS OLIVEIRA HEADCANONS .ᐟ

A/N: ask and you shall receive. :smirk_cat:

SFW/fluff.

⟡ ── a gentleman through and through. every door you come across—an entrance to the mall or shop, your car door, he always opens and holds it for you.

⟡ ── he also switches to the side closest to the street when you're out on walks, your bag slung atop his shoulder. you will never get the chance to hold your own bags, because he always steals it from your hands. don't try to argue or reach for it. because if you do, he'll just raise it above his head and tease you for being too short.

⟡ ── always goes along with whatever you wanna do. you saw this trend on tiktok where men's girlfriends wrap ribbons around their biceps? bet. that trend where girlfriends cover their boyfriends with lipstick kisses? fucking bet. make him wear a ghostface mask? consider it done.

seriously. as long as it seemed fun and was safe and consensual, he'll do it.

⟡ ── fucking looooves to flaunt you off. especially when you're wearing a dress that he bought? or when you do your nails the colours that he suggested? it's his own way of branding you, letting everyone know that you were being treated right by him.

⟡ ── carlos also loves the way you smell. he always finds himself burying his nose in your hair when you cuddle. it soothes him. when you're not around, he cuddles your sweater so it feels like you're with him.

⟡ ── not the jealous type. he's very confident.

⟡ ── lover of all bodies too, by the way. he doesn't care if you gain weight. he benches your body weight ( and more. ) just so he could show you that he can carry you in his arms.

⟡ ── also dates to marry.

⟡ ── your number one supporter. if you have zero fans, he's dead. he's always pushing you to pursue your dreams, encouraging you to take risks.

⟡ ── loves to make you laugh. your laugh is his favourite sound eveeeerrrr.

⟡ ── also, carlos is a romantic.

⟡ ── he's the greenest of all green flags.

NSFW/lewd.

⟡ ── always goes along with whatever you wanna do. you wanna be on top? sure. interested in trying this bdsm shit? kinky, but sure. make him wear a ghostface mask? dang, you're so freaky, but alright, bet.

"babe, what do you mean you want to wrap a ribbon around it?"

⟡ ── does not give a shit if you shaved or not. he'll eat you out no matter what. he's also pretty hairy. sometimes trims his bush, but you don't seem to have any complaints with it.

⟡ ── has good head game. you can't tell me otherwise. he would be orally fixated too, always sucking on your nipples or your clit as a past time.

⟡ ── yes, he always finds your clit.

⟡ ── used condoms when you first started exploring your sex life. the first time he goes in raw, he literally just spills his cum with just a few thrusts.

carlos swears that he's never using condoms again after that day. and it's a memory you both still giggle at.

⟡ ── loves to 69. he really just loves the feeling of your warm throat while he gets to taste you too. he's just addicted to your taste of your cunt and cum . . literally he can cum just by jerking off to the thought of it.

⟡ ── sometimes dirty talks to you in spanish. especially when he's really immersed in the moment.

⟡ ── literally loves every position. as long as he gets to bury his cock deep inside you, he's happy. he's not a titties man or an ass man or even a thigh man, he's an i love my girlfriend's body man. so whatever position you want him in—doggy, missionary, cowgirl—it didn't matter. he's always gonna end up rutting his hips and vigorously ramming your creamy cunt.

⟡ ── both a degradation and praise connoisseur. it's just the perfect mix of both, and he does it so well, too . . .

⟡ ── also, he doesn't mean to but he loves leaving hickeys on your body. mostly on your chest and on the inside of your thighs. he also loves it when you mark him or scratch him.

⟡ ── loves to edge himself so he can cum a thick, fat load into you and watch his cum leak from your pretty cunt.

⟡ ── has a stamina of a god. he can go for a few more rounds after he's reached his peak. especially when you're still horny and want more, he's more than eager to shove his fingers into you while his tongue lapped up your clit.

⟡ ── loves to cuddle and kiss you all over when you're both spent.

⟡ ── you didn't hear this from me but he also loves cockwarming. something about keepin' you plugged and stretched makes his brain go brrr . . .

end.

[sulkenswan]

SUCKER — CHAPTER ONE, so close to what

fanart by nrmav , edited by me

vampire!dealer!ellie williams x fem!reader

↫ prologue masterlist next ↬

info: your first day goes surprisingly well, despite the unwanted attention, your mind is mostly bothered by the auburn haired girl who cant seem to stand you, despite you doing nothing. you find peace in being alone and decorating, waiting until the day you see her pale face once more, and when you do, she seems to have much more interest in you than before. MOODBOARD + PLAYLIST

cw: mention of eating disorders, underage smoking (r & e are 17, r soon to be 18), men, stalking (e), readers pretty down and empty, trying to fulfill it, shes clumsy, she wears a skirt, bella swan coded but not really, follows the plot of twilight, near death experience, ellie's a dick, still just mainly fleshing out the story, barely edited, Imk if smths missing. men and minors dni.

wc: 8.5k

note: thank you for reading & for your patience i apologise for the rush in advance x

maybe cat’s confidence isn't as comforting as you thought it would be. it seems as if all of her friends have picked up the same, fairly loud habits as her. but she was helpful, guiding you to the office and ensuring you had all the right forms and slips, including a pass you had to get signed at every class.

your first two classes went fine, thankfully. you shared both with cat, and as soon as maths finished and the lunch bell rang, her first move was to invite you to sit with her - an offer you very happily accepted, and an offer that she seemed even more thrilled that you had accepted. not like you were going to complain, surrounding yourself with people meant you didn’t look lonely, and not looking lonely meant you were not going to become a social piranha.

“hey guys! here she is, your shiny new toy,” cat jokes, introducing you to her group while she pulls you out a chair and then herself, placing her tray of cafeteria food in front of her.

you shyly wave a hand and sit down besides cat, your chair making a terrible scratching noise as you pull it back in, wincing at the sound.

everyone's heads are on you. there's four people whom you don't recognise, cat being the only familiar person at the table. thankfully, the one sitting directly in front of you takes the chance to introduce everyone.

“i’m thomas, this is jackson.”

he takes a minute to jab jackson's arm jokingly, who hits him right back smiling, thomas feigning hurt and rubbing his arm, pouting snobbily, trying (and failing) to hold back a smile. jackson has bright blonde hair and some kind of surfer vibe going for him, meanwhile jackson has dark brown hair, wearing a red flannel and skinny jeans.

“ignore them. i’m crystal,” the girl sitting diagonal to you continues.

she looks kind, soft. her blonde hair cascades down her shoulders, fresh blowout styling it perfectly. she has light shimmer on her eyelids, and you want to ask her where she managed to get such pretty pigment from, as well as where you can find a cute dress like that in a place like this.

“and that’s stevie.”

she nods her head beside her towards the final unnamed person. she smiles at you, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes. she has dyed red hair that's pin straight, dark lipstick and eyeliner suiting her perfectly, her outfit far more stylish than the others, a dark red shirt with a lace layer overtop paired with a mid length skirt and boots.

“hey, guys. thank you for letting me sit with you,” you kindly express your gratitude, smiling at them, “it's nice to meet you.”

thomas laughs at your formality, leaning forward in his seat to show you have his full attention. “don't be silly. where’d you move from?”

stevie continues looking down at her food, seemingly uninterested in welcoming a new person and it makes you feel bad - you don’t want to mess with their group dynamic. everyone else is paying attention, even if they're eating, eyes wide, looking at you expectantly.

“uh, i just moved here from seattle.”

you can tell you're self-conscious by the way you keep tugging your sleeves over your hands, trying to shield yourself from the attention. it's not only your newfound friends that are looking at you, as people keep turning towards you then murmuring to their friends. you feel like you’re going crazy.

stevie laughs sarcastically, eyes on her food. “why are you so pale then?”

your face falters, “oh, i-”

“stevie,” crystal warns, her tone stern but still somehow friendly. gentle parenting at its finest.

“sorry,” she mumbles, but it doesn't help from your face flushing with embarrassment.

she seemed cool, you wanted to get to know her better but it seemed like she would rather do anything but sit here at a table with you.

crystal sighs, but her attitude switches up quickly to try and welcome you more as best she can, hoping you don’t let the red haired girl make you feel too much like an outsider.

“so, how was seattle? i bet you’re missing the sun, huh.”

the group continues to pile on top of crystal's initial question, “why did you move here? where do you live around? is that your chevy truck out the front? who have you met so far?”

it felt like it went on and on, but thankfully they eventually let up, turning to conversation amongst each other, tom and jack going off to talk to people they hadn’t seen since the holidays started, leaving with a promise of ‘returning home to you’.

her friend group being loud in nature proved to work in your favour pretty well. you didn't have to talk too much, but you still enjoyed their presence and jokes. it gave a good balance to your life and didn't exhaust you, treating you like you had all been friends for years. stevie’s dislike bothered you, but you were sure it was only due to the attention you were being given. you were determined to get rid of it and discover a way to help flip it on her instead. she seemed like she thrived off of attention, you did not.

“there’s nothing new about the newspaper here, just another one about eating disorders,” crystal complains from beside you. her whines about the poorly written newspaper she was reading from over your shoulder that she had just given you making you laugh.

“sup chief heiress!” jackson teases, coming back towards the group and yanking the newspaper from your hands, dragging an empty chair beside yours, stealing cat’s spot.

“chief heiress?” cat blandly says.

“very new perspective, jackson. thank you.” stevie’s sarcasm slices through you, she does not seem to enjoy the attention jackson is giving you, and neither do you. mentally, you put together the pieces. you planned on staying as invisible as possible, but everybody here seems to have made it their personal mission to draw as much attention to you as possible.

“i think it suits her,” thomas runs up, “don't you think?”

he asks you before kissing you on the cheek and yanking jackson’s chair from underneath him, causing the boy to fall and drop as well as the paper as the perpetrator runs away, jack chasing after him while yelling profanities. you shake your head, eyes falling back onto the discoloured table.

“wow. they are all over you, aren't they?” stevie kids, but its clear there’s bitterness lingering behind in her voice, malice. you can tell she’s trying to sus out your non-existent intentions. both crystal and cat eye her.

you sigh, picking the newspaper from the ground, putting it back on the table and standing up from your seat.

“not my type,” you disentangle, hoping it gives some clarity to the girl, and that she’ll pass the message on to the boys. it’ll do for now, but you’ll be sure to clear up the confusion later, having no energy for enemies, especially on your first day. your plan was to breeze through school, but you were really liking your friends, and you hoped it would stay a more permanent thing. only being able to hope that stevie’s resentment would die down as well as the attention, anticipating it already.

you forgot to bring your own lunch, thanks to your haste, so you’re forced to grab a piece of fruit from the cafeteria. it looked like a safe bet as seemingly being the only edible option they provided, especially after taking a quick glance at cat and stevie’s tray. you decide on an apple that looked surprisingly juicy, a deep shade of red making it seem extra appealing to you. you rejoin your friends and slide back into silent conversation with them, taking small chunks out of your apple while you pay attention to their intense talking, chiming in every now and again but not overstepping. thomas and jackson are still nowhere to be seen, but you’re not fussed about it. you hear the cafeteria doors open, automatically turning your head to see who walked in wondering if it could be tom or jack, but you forget all about them and your heart stops once you lay your eyes on three of the most stunning people you’ve ever seen.

the couple catches your attention first, someone lingering behind them. all are unfamiliar to you, and all are fairly pale, almost sickly. they walked as if they owned the place, and it frightened you a little, their confidence sending chills up your body. within the couple, the girl had dark, thick hair pulled up into a bun that framed her face perfectly, a brown jacket, maroon v neck cut t shirt and skinny jeans causing her to look as flattering as possible, her tan like skin adorning freckles wherever you could see them. she looked impossibly kind. meanwhile the guy she was holding hands with had some kind of mullet haircut going for him, an outfit similar to hers thrown on, boots squeaking ever so slightly against the cafeteria floors. they looked incredible together. striking. nonchalant attitude plastered on. the girl behind them, however, had caught your attention too. she had dark skin, amber eyes, and hair pulled back into a ponytail, long braids running down her back with a headband at the forefront. she and the freckled girl appeared to be matching outfits. before you can even process it, you realise they aren’t immune from resisting to look at you either, or maybe they could just feel your eyes, one by one catching your stare. you have to turn your head all the way around to see them properly, yet you don't look away, don't cower in fear, too entranced by the trios magnetic energy they hold even while simply walking and sitting down. but eventually, you lose eye-contact with them as they become engrossed in their own conversation, forgetting about you immediately and unbothered by your presence. it is unbelievably refreshing.

“who are they?” you ask your new friends, cat pausing her eating and following your eyes behind her towards their table on the far side of the cafeteria.

she doesn't pay any mind to your question, going back to her food, you face her, back turned to the trio.

“the millers. the dark haired girl with the boy? that’s dina, and jesse. both really weird, both dating. the other one is riley. they mainly keep to themselves. they moved down here a couple years back, their dad is some sort of doctor slash matchmaker. i’m surprised the other one isn't with them.”

your face contorts into confusion.

“how can they be dating if they’re part of the same family? and the other one?” you question, and just like clockwork, you hear the doors behind you open once again, turning to face it, you see her walking through them.

time seems slow as you watch her walk towards her table. she’s tall, fairly lean, far more pale than the rest. auburn hair cut just above her collarbone, tied into a half up half down. some wispy bits fall from her oddly flattering side part, a silver lip ring and eyebrow piercing taking place on her also freckled face. she was dressed in converse, like you, baggy jeans, a jacket and a deep green shirt.

she seems to be the edgier of the trio, smirking to herself for no reason when passing your table, making her way to join the rest of her family. you can't take your eyes off of her.

“that's ellie miller. total heartthrob. apparently nobody here’s good enough for her. not like i care, you know…” you silently nod your head, indicating you were still following along

stevie clears her throat then continues, “dina and jesse can date since they aren’t technically related, although it's still weird. joel miller adopted the four of them ages ago, apparently after he lost his own daughter.” she continues cats logic, whispering the last part. your simple sentence from before denying attraction for the boys evidently lightening up her perspective on you, thank god.

“huh.” you mumble, taking the final bite of your apple, still turning your head just to stare at the pale girl sitting at the table far across from you, you can really see the appeal for it now. she's busy in conversation with dina, manspreading and leaning back into her seat comfortably, hands tucked into her jacket pockets as if she owns the place, she looks extremely relaxed, and good doing it.

you get lost in thought, blanking out while you stare, the last thing you expected her to do, however, was to suddenly look up and lock eyes with you. panic coursing through you as you look away from her, praying she didn't catch you. only for a moment though, your body instinctively looking back up to see if she’s still staring.

and she is.

a confused, almost lost look having replaced her previously cocky features, leaning upright in her seat ever so slightly, analysing you. but not for long, she pauses for a moment before peeling her eyes away from you, resuming her previous position. warmth floods to your cheeks and you look around and down at your finished apple in shame.

cat, apparently having previously caught your stare, sighs. “seriously, don’t waste your time. i mean it,” disappointment held in her voice.

you shake your head gently, turning around and looking up to face the pale girl once more, hoping to see her facing you once more. she’s not. “wasn't planning on it.”

the bell rings and all of your friends go their separate ways. you shared biology with thomas, who decided to rejoin your table just as the three of you were grabbing your stuff to get to class.

your feet drag as you make your way to the labs, thomas talking to you about his extravagant lunch adventures, but you weren't fully paying attention. when you arrive, he apologized profusely to go sit with another friend of his, saying he wishes it was you but that he had made the mistake of promising them. you don't mind, waving him off with a polite smile and soft eyes to indicate it was alright. everybody else had already taken their place as you enter the class, in their own duos, leaving you little choice. you analyse the room, a fan blowing directly behind you and you can feel your hair move from it. that's when you see her, again, her eyes already on you. you hadn't even noticed her leave the cafeteria before.

but this time, when the papers fly up nearby her thanks to the fan behind you, her hand flies up to her nose while she inhales deeply, shutting her eyelids as if she’s trying to regulate herself. your face twists into confusion, instantaneously feeling self consciousness as you shyly grab your hair to smell. vanilla. nothing new. nothing disgusting to inhale, unless maybe she just really, really hated vanilla. but from the difficulty she’s finding to even breathe, you highly doubt that. she’s staring directly at you now in sheer disgust, breathing in heavily, tense as she could be as if she’s smelt something absolutely rancid ‘cause of you.

lost in thought, you don't notice your teacher talking to you, until you lose eye contact with her and he takes your slip away, signing it then handing it back with a textbook. then, he points straight to her, and that's when you realise she’s the only one without a lab partner.

regardless, you still try to make light of the situation. flashing a faint smile and taking your seat beside her, the stool out to get you as you almost fall backwards the second you try to sit, hurriedly regaining your balance and trying to play it off, dropping your book bag beside you.

she doesn't speak to you, hell she doesn't even look at you directly. her eyes wide as she keeps her head down, eyeing you from the side, hand still covering her nose and mouth.

it only worsens your paranoia, skeptically raising your sleeve to your nose to see if she's being dramatic or not, and again, you only smell like vanilla. you didn't walk through shit on your way to bio, thank god. how come ellie looked at you as if you were dead was unknown, but you still wanted to give her a chance.

you just couldn’t find it in yourself to talk to her. she's made it very clear with her piercing gaze and inability to say hi that she has zero intentions of talking to you, so there was no point to it anyways, and you didn't want to cross a line, especially with her strange gaze at lunch. you opt to pay attention for once. but it's proving to be a challenge when the stools are so uncomfortable, when ellie’s intensely staring at you, hand no longer near her mouth, inhaling deeply, like she wants more. looking at you like she wants more, not paying attention to the teacher. just you.

mr. brown’s mouth is moving, but you’ve blocked him out. ellie seems to be trying her best to make you notice her, to look at her. and its working, proving to be incredibly difficult to not give into temptation and look at the pale girl beside you, and you just about do every second you’re stuck in that classroom.

you distract yourself by counting down the seconds, imagining ellies life outside of school, how you can adjust your routine in the morning to no avail. your mind wandering back to the girl beside you each time.

the clock is ticking but nothing is changing, you think you’ll be stuck in this classroom forever.

somehow, eventually, the bell rings for everybody to go to their next class, but part of you is disappointed. you were enjoying the attention ellie was giving you, even if it set off warning bells in your head. i mean, your friends had even explicitly told you she didn't have eyes for anybody, even stevie. and you certainly are not better than stevie.

you blink and ellie's gone, dashing out of the classroom, old backpack clutched tightly in her right hand, running away from you as if her life depended on it.

you hate it, but deep down you're offended, and a little sad. someone else's opinion has never bothered you this much until now, and you have no idea even why. you convince yourself your friends got into your head about the mysterious girl. you haven't even spoken to her, yet the effect she has on you seems to be an issue, one that you hope doesn’t last.

you don't see ellie for the rest of the day and it disappoints you, that meant you only had biology with her. after a gym class that you surprisingly don't do terribly in, and another lunch break where you once again gained unwanted attention (thankfully, limited from jackson as you started a conversation between him and stevie), you make your way back to the office, marking the end of your first day.

opening one of the double doors, you’re surprised to see her right in front of you, but she does not look happy. posture tight, back straight as she leans over the counter, just like she had in biology.

“there has to be something, anything at the same time as bio that i can switch to, lady. literally, anything.”

“i’m sorry dear, but all of the classes have been filled,” she responds apologetically, holding a hand up to you to signal she’ll be with you in a moment, and you weren’t even sure if ellie could get any more rigid than she could, but her body language surely signals it, proving you wrong. turning around slowly to face you, face angry. it shocks you, but doesn’t scare you, looking directly into her dark eyes.

“i’ll just deal with it then. thank you,” she grunts, taking her backpack off of the floor and storming away from the office, less than an inch away from bumping into you, barely avoiding your touch.

bothered, but honestly more annoyed, you go through a series of emotions in a matter of seconds, trying to make excuses to how she could be so mean to you when she didn't even know you. sadness slowly turning into anger, you wanted to know what made her hate you. not even bothering to go return your slip, a flurry of emotions overtaking your being, leading you too to storm out. telling yourself you’ll confront the tall-girl tomorrow, challenge her even. if she wanted to bite you, you would bite back.

but she didn’t show.

not the next day either, or the day after that. all hope you had of confronting her slowly fading away, as well as your anger by the time the week finished, and you were left to your own devices. you would be lying if you said dismay didn’t consume your being everytime you walked into biology only to find the seat next to yours empty, often finding yourself looking at her siblings during break, you hated it, but she had made an impression on you.

you tried your best not to let it bother you. turning your focus to school and friends, but not much had changed, and you knew it was only a temporary feeling of fulfillment. half the school seemed to have taken an interest in you, asking discreet questions to see who you might have eyes on, telling them the same thing.

“nobody. i'm good on my own.”

and you really weren’t lying when you said that. sure, ellie drew you in and magnified your curiosity by far more than anybody else, but she had issues with you for some unknown reason, and you had no plans of chasing after someone, no matter how badly you wanted to. anybody who had asked you out romantically you were sure to turn down as politely as possible, because they didn't know you.

there was no difference between them and you when it came to ellie. you really didn't understand the appeal when it was about you, and you were certain it was only because you were the first new person in months.

the week finished far slower than you thought it would, each passing day adding more and more weight to your shoulders, the feeling of fulfillment fading away faster until you were alone, and it vanished completely.

weekends gave you freedom, but they also left you with too much time on your hands. you found yourself doing something, anything that would distract you and keep your mind off of the pit that had formed in your stomach.

first, saturday. you had blocked off half the day to complete schoolwork, and the other half to unpack and hang out with your dad. he didn't have the day off, but you made sure to go to the station and hang out at the diner for lunch after you had managed to complete your work in a matter of hours.

he did a good job at keeping your mind occupied, telling you all about what his duties had been involving recently. strange animal attacks being the centre of his occupation currently. all it proved to you was that jackson was boring, but at least your food was delicious, and you did meet some more familiar faces who claimed they last saw you when you couldn’t even form a conscious thought.

when you drove home, saying goodbye to your dad, the first thing you spotted were four brown moving boxes sitting on your porch waiting for you, and you knew what two of them contained. your music. something you felt like you had been missing for years.

you hurriedly moved all the boxes inside, albeit struggling while doing so, especially when trying to get everything up the stairs. but you managed, and you wasted no time, ignoring your panting breath as you ripped open all the boxes, visualising how you wanted this to go.

deciding you would go out to town and buy some new shelves and a stand to hold your record player and vinyls, you call your dad quickly to check what the best place would be, to which he recommended some vintage thrift stores around that were bound to have something similar to what you were looking for. jumping in your truck and peeling out of the driveway, deciding you would get all your furniture first before unpacking further so you didn't have any unnecessary clutter. you had gotten a pretty good feel for the town and had a general idea on where you were going, eventually finding a good spot right in the middle where you could shop, making a stop at the library to print out your resume first, a process that had been tedious, to say the least.

every store you went to, you handed out the piece of paper that had your name in bold letters at the top. you figured it would be a good idea, useful. having something to take up your days while simultaneously getting paid for it, applying mainly in the hopes of getting hired at the record store that very conveniently had a sign in bright bold letters practically screaming at you that they were hiring, and the person whom you handed your resume to had taken a liking in you, especially after seeing that you were the chiefs daughter.

it didn't stop you from having a look at their options, they had much to choose from. paramore, bon iver, and you couldn’t leave without at least one thing from there, you had been saving up and declared it a present for yourself. hoping it would decrease the emptiness within you somehow. deciding on among my swan by mazzy star, it felt only fitting, and you planned on showing your dad the correlation between the pillow and the record. it would kill two birds with one stone. he would think you felt perfectly fine, and you had something new to listen to.

you visited a couple more shops, handing in your resume at every single one, always ensuring to have a wander around, too. you were sure to not overspend tho, buying two new shirts and a skirt with some tights, some more long sleeved stuff as you were running out of outfits, small trinkets from local antique stores that you wanted to support, checking their furniture options each time. each store didn't have quite what you needed, that was until the second to last. a dark wooden shelf catching your eye instantly, it was perfect. the same type of wood as your other furniture, four squares beneath to hold the vinyls flawlessly and the perfect width on top to hold your turntable and speakers.

you bought it without a second thought, the shop attendant helping you load it out into your truck after you drove it up out front their store, them doing most of the work due to you almost dropping it from your inability to see two feet ahead of you. you decided to end your day there, satisfied with the purchases you had made, feeling a little better, you had been productive at the least and that brought some comfort to your overcrowded mind.

it was sunset by the time you arrived back home, your dad already relaxing on the couch before you interrupted his silence and begged if he could help you unload the new, heavy piece of furniture. he accepted without a second thought, bringing it up to your room effortlessly, almost tripping over the mess you had made on your floor of suitcases and boxes.

by the time you had rearranged your furniture, fatigue had overtaken your being. a lack of motivation to continue your newfound career in interior design made you instead decide to call it a night. rushing down the stairs to reheat your leftovers from the diner, eating at the kitchen bar with your father standing in front of you, it was nice to have him genuinely care about your day. this was time you two had reserved to update each other on your days, no matter how boring. telling him how you applied to a few stores and excitedly explaining how you had bought a matching vinyl to the pillow he had gifted. something that made his day a lot better than you thought it would.

washing your dishes and stacking them, you said goodnight to your dad before lazily walking back up towards your room. he calls out a reminder to call your mom and check when you can go down to see abby, you don't pay any mind to it. already having made mental plans to go down on the firefly reserve next weekend. having a quick shower and crashing on your bed, you close your eyes for a couple moments, content with the day.

the pit wasn't so overbearing anymore, you felt okay, not incredible, but good enough to not spiral. hoping to hear back from at least one of the many places you applied to.

you wonder if you would run into ellie in town someday, especially if you started working there.

groaning at yourself, you refuse to let someone like ellie steal all your thoughts, she was probably just having a bad day that didn’t have anything to do with you. i mean it was the first day back, so she was probably missing the liberty of doing whatever she wanted during the day, explaining her sudden absence.

but you were more upset at her for leaving you alone in biology. you suck at biology. and you didn't want to lose all progress you had made with stevie by asking one of the boys to tutor you since they were the only other two who also did it, just in separate classes. stevie, crystal & cat doing chemistry, a science you were somehow worse at, choosing to suffer in silence instead, asking your dad for help that didn't really help when he doubted his skills more than your own.

opening your eyes and peeking outside, you decided now was the perfect time for your typical nightly routine. opening the lace curtains then your window, grabbing the jumper beside you once the cold air hit you immediately, somehow forgetting about the cloudy breeze waiting for you outside despite the countless times you’ve done this now. before bed, or in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. even when you got home before your dad did.

opening your pack, you come to the realisation you only have six left, you would be out in the next week or so. cat seemed like the type of person who would know who dealt, maybe even stevie, making a mental note to ask them later if they knew anybody.

taking one out, you grab your lighter from its hidden spot beside the pack underneath the pillows. assuming your regular position of your back leaning against the side wall with your legs spread straight across, you put your cigarette in between your lips and purse, cupping your hand to shield it from the wind and effectively lighting it, but burning yourself in the process, sucking in a pained breath and involuntarily dropping the hot object. you moan at the feeling for a moment clutching your finger with your other hand before assessing the damage, nothing terrible. it would fade within a day or so, focusing back on the cigarette and inhaling, content with the relief it gave.

you take the cigarette from your lips pinching it between your index and middle finger, exhaling towards the outside of your room. grabbing your phone, you dial your moms number. you haven't called her since thursday, it completely slipped your mind last night, so you wanted to make the effort to talk to her now.

one ring, then another, then another, and a few more but she doesn't answer. you give up, putting the cig back in your mouth for another inhale and throwing your phone on your bed. looking outside instead.

your heart skips a beat as you swear you see something from the treeline, standing completely still right in direct eyeliner to your house, jumping in your spot and leaning out the window further, seizing the cigarette from your lips once more and blinking a few times. it was probably just your eyes playing tricks on you, as when you open them again, nothing is there.

nobody would be able to get away that quickly, so you dumb your fears down to an illusion, but you're still shaken up from it for an odd reason, calling it an early night.

reversing your steps, and closing your window, making sure to lock it this time just in case, then your blinds and finally your curtains, you settle into bed. the warm glow from both the lamp beside you and the fairy lights granting you comfort as you lull yourself to sleep, plans on decorating at the forefront of your mind.

sunday goes by far quicker than you would like. you woke up fairly late and was focused on laying out your room the way you would like. it was the first time you had complete freedom with somebody who didn't insist on keeping you their baby forever, so you were savoring it. your mom still hadn’t called you back, you weren’t worried, chalking it down to her enjoying the company of her husband. you begin your journey of meticulously moving things around, carefully choosing what would go where and ensuring you were making it as cozy as possible.

your vinyl shelf being the first thing you set up, you put it beside your desk, stealing the spare outlets beside it for your turntable and then attaching your speakers to the record player itself. displaying them neatly on top, deciding some small figurines and crystals could also make home there.

playing the first vinyl you pulled out of your box, that being ‘all we know is falling’ by paramore, you began to arrange and organise the rest of your collection, a process that took longer than you expected it to, a couple hours at most, but you were extremely happy with the result, you still had a few cubes empty, your collection on full display.

the rest of your room thankfully went by pretty easily, it came naturally for you to decorate. cleaning out your desk, not adding too much to it as you knew your constant schoolwork would clutter it enough, your bedside table not as empty as it previously was, a lamp, book & other small trinkets making a home there. your purse lay resting on the floor beside it.

your wardrobe took the longest, the other two boxes, and two suitcases mainly occupying clothes and some miscellaneous sentimental items you wanted to bring along. spending a majority of your day folding and hanging up clothes, far more than you remembered you had. over half being clothes you wouldn't even be able to wear 90% of the year because of the weather, but you were determined to find a way you could style them while staying warm. about half way through the day, cat sent you a message wondering if you wanted to meet up with the rest of them for lunch, and although you were busy unpacking, you thought some food wasn't a bad idea, and neither was strengthening your connection with the rest. hoping to god that they were the cure to the emptiness you had been feeling, pouring all your energy into the group, just for a chance of feeling normal; content.

but they didn't. you were hoping it was just because you haven't spent enough time with them yet, but you couldn’t spend too long with them anyways, emphasizing how you had to get back to complete your unpacking duties, in a hurry to do so before monday rolled around. cat, jackson, crystal & thomas all offering to tag along and help, an offer you had to politely decline. you were good doing it alone, music playing softly in the background. enjoying it much more than you thought you would have. maybe you could call abby when you got back. saying your goodbyes and tripping on your way out of the cafe, recovering and turning back to see if any of them had noticed, they all had.

offering them an awkward smile and wave goodbye, you turned away and allowed your cheeks to burn, rushing home.

by the time you arrived back, however, your dad whisked away your car instantly and had it taken out to get new tires, explaining to you how they would be safer on the slippery roads. you being sure to thank him profusely for the surprise, comfort settling over you as to how you didn't need to be so worried about crossing the rain with your car.

the day was moving by as if the hours were seconds, and you wanted to savour every last one. you had it to yourself. no worries of the outside world or friends, lost in your own room.

you were sure to call abby that night, cigarette pursed between your lips, talking to her about your recent endeavors and how your first day back went, briefly touching on ellie, a name she seemed to know but refused to explain further, suddenly needing to go. it infuriated you. abby was supposed to comfort and maybe distract you, just a little, the discreet flirting she was giving feeling worthless now.

monday came before you knew it, your room fully decorated and cleaned out. you had developed a morning routine over the past week that didn’t leave you running and dying making your ride, calmly making your way down the stairs, hands gripping the porch railing while you calmly walked to your car, not rushing into anything that would inevitably end up with you slipping and falling flat on your ass, climbing in and turning the heater on immediately. you were wearing something more fashionable than usual for once, wanting to feel good about yourself. the new outfit you had bought yourself on the weekend, a babydoll top paired with warm tights and a simple skirt, same worn chucks as always, not bothering to change that up. you felt good.

you drove to school in silence, no radio in your car meant no music at all, giving you time to sit with your own thoughts. you didn’t know where you stood right now. you really liked your friends, but they could be a bit much sometimes, and you preferred something softer. ellie still occupied your thoughts more than you wanted to admit, although you had been distracting yourself as much as you could throughout the few days you did get to yourself, your thoughts constantly wandered back to her. wondering if she would ever come back to school at all, or if she really just couldn't stand to be around you. you doubted she would return anytime soon. your feet move on their own accord out of your truck and through the courtyard to your first class: biology. it was especially rainy and cold, and in an effort to not ruin the work you had gone through, you threw on your thick oversized jacket and mittens, hauling your bookbag hurriedly out of the open weather.

going to your locker first, you tucked away your mittens, collecting your textbook and holding it to your chest, navigating your way to class. you had grown used to the empty seat beside you, not bothering to check and hanging your jacket up on the hanger at the front of class, facing towards your seat only to see-

her.

you certainly were not expecting her to make her reappearance today. she somehow looked even more appealing than before, an oversized button up shirt with a long sleeve navy undershirt and jeans being her simple outfit, same starry freckles, same shoes, same piercings.

your heart stops as your movements stutter, now feeling very out of place and lost, far more than usual in this class. that was usually in academics and paranoia of people thinking you were a loner, now it's because the one girl you feel like you’ve been waiting centuries for to return is right in front of you, looking straight at you. no hand over her mouth, but no smile either, just curiosity.

pride swells in you, then anger. she still was rude to you, not talking, acting like you were disgusting then practically begging to switch classes away from you, but the anger subsided just as quickly as it had previously, and you made your way to your aisle seat beside her. dropping your bag to the side, almost slipping off your chair for the sixth time, and pulling it in.

after weighing your options, you decide not to speak to her unless she takes the opportunity to talk to you first. you didn't want to force her to be friends with you, she's not looking at you but shyly looking at the table in front of her, the complete opposite to last week, as if she's contemplating what to say. you cross your arms and lean on the bench, looking straight ahead.

“hey. i’m sorry i was unable to introduce myself last week. i’m ellie miller, and i know who you are, but i’m guessing you're tired of people telling you.”

there goes your heart again, your brain short-circuits as her velvety rough voice cuts through you, deep. you stumble over your movements, elbow falling off the table, turning your head but not your body to see her face.

“mhm.”

she gives you the faintest of smiles, breathing in deeply. she genuinely seems to be trying, despite the little she’s spoken to you, it's better than the running away.

her green-amber eyes appear to be more welcoming this time, although you could have sworn they were a dark, almost soulless shade of black the last time you saw her.

you want to ask her what her deal was last week but stop yourself, your teacher frantically running up the aisles, explaining what the practical he had planned would consist of. something about onion cells and differentiating different phases, and that whoever finished first would get a golden onion. exactly what you wanted.

she shifts the microscope over to you once mr. brown finishes explaining, “ladies first.”

internally, you freak out. while you're fine with this unit, you still have fear lingering within you that you’ll answer wrong and look stupid in front of ellie, something you really didn’t want to do.

hesitantly, you take a look into the microscope, identifying the onion root to be in a phase of mitosis after a couple seconds.

“mitosis.” you confidently answer to your lab partner.

“do you mind if i check?”

shifting the microscope over to her, you allow her to have a look for herself.

“mitosis.” she agrees, writing it down on the paper in front of her.

you don't intend on intruding, you really don’t, but your curiosity gets the better of you in a matter of moments, not thinking twice when you question her whereabouts before reality catches up to you and you regret it instantly. “you were gone. where’d you go?”

she switches out the plate, looking down, not answering you for a couple moments, murmuring an answer under her breath and writing it down before looking at you. you don't question the answer, trusting her judgment far more than your own. “i’m sorry about that… i had also meant to apologise before. there were some personal things i had to deal with. i hope everything was okay without a lab partner, though?”

a lab partner. you think. sighing dramatically, “it’s fine i guess, this is only my worst subject anyways” you attempt to joke, hoping it will lighten the mood further. she lets out a low chuckle, averting her eyes from the microscope before piercing you with her gaze once more, opening her mouth to respond before shaking her head, looking back into the microscope.

“what?” you frown “do you want me to have a look? you’ve been doing a lot of work.”

“are you sure i can trust you with getting us the golden onion?”

“hey! i'm not that terrible, i got the first one right.”

she smiles, biting her cheek to stop it from widening. even though her head is down you still see it, her pretending to take so long to identify it to not make you feel as silly.

“how have you been liking jackson weather then?”

you stare at the girl in disbelief, “you’re asking me about… the weather? here?”

her face falls as she seems to realise the uselessness of her own words, smiling at herself, not holding it back this time. “yeah, i guess i am.”

you shudder at her, “it's been okay. it's just so cold all the time, i can't help but miss the heat. the sun, at that.”

“it's supposed to be sunny thursday, i think.” she's gliding through the questions with ease, and you do feel terrible for letting her do so much work, but she doesn't seem to mind one bit. asking you more questions, questions that would be impossibly annoying if they came from anybody else, but from her, it's more personal. she’s actively listening and following up. it's a revitalizing change. “but your outfit is nice. did you get it for this weather?”

she noticed.

“yeah, actually. i got it this weekend.” you smile fondly at her, looking down at your outfit timidly. the emptiness within you is no longer as noticeable, it's not overbearing with ellie.

“how come you went into town?”

the rest of class went like that, time flying by as ellie asked you questions upon questions about your life, getting more personal as time went on. you two won the onion, leaving class side by side with it clutched tightly in your hand while you walked to your locker, questions still coming. you honestly didn't know if she would ever run out.

“so you moved here to make your moms life easier? that doesn’t sound fair on you.” she interrogates, voice slightly rougher now while she learns about your reasoning for leaving your home and coming here instead.

you don't answer her query. “you're full of questions, aren’t you?” you flip it back on her, opening your locker as she leans off to the side, head resting on the metal, looking at you.

pausing, she contemplates her next words, you don’t feel another question approaching though, wondering if she was upset at your sudden change, even though you meant it light heartedly. “i’m just trying to figure you out. you’re a very… difficult person for me to read.”

closing your locker, onion shoved inside, you look at her on instinct. her eyes catching you, pulling you in, making you drown within them.

“are your eyes a different colour?” the comfortable nature of the constant chatter you two had been having didn't make you need to second guess your words around her, but you should know better than to let your guard down.

the question seems to catch her off-guard, though. for some unknown reason. you already know you’ve blown it.

“it's… it’s the fluorescents.” she defends, staring at you for a couple moments, opening and closing her mouth to say something else but deciding against it, marching away from you, watching her back while she strides down the hallway you two just came from, a jacket clutched in her left hand.

slowly turning back towards your locker, you flop your head on it, metal clanging while you close your eyes. all the progress you had just made with ellie was lost, the hole in you reappearing.

you had cursed yourself by having biology with the girl first, the rest of the day going by at a snail's pace, the people around you becoming white noise.

when the final school bell rang, you made no effort in being quick to go, you had nowhere to be anyways. but when you got to the carpark and saw ellie already there, eyeing you as she leant against her car, talking to dina. you walked quicker. you didn't appreciate the back and forth she was giving you. the car park was at its peak population, and you were solely focused on going home.

tossing your back onto the hood of your car, you open it up to try and find your car keys, digging around for a couple seconds, and that's when you hear it, car tires screeching, really close to you. whipping your head around just in time to see jackson and his black van sliding around the carpark, out of control. right towards you.

everything moved in slow motion as you realised you were going to die.

die in this school, in front of hundreds of kids, being squashed by an out of control vehicle. there was no saving you, jacksons panicked face in the driver's seat being the only thing you saw as he frantically tried to swing his wheel away from you to no avail.

you closed your eyes hard, bracing for impact, heart palpating out of your chest as you can hear it in your head. but impact never came.

instead, somebody had taken hold of you, knocking you down to the concrete. you opened your eyes, ellie williams looking back at you, clutching your waist and looking down at you.

you feel like the wind has been knocked out of you, emotions overflowing. you were supposed to die, and she was all the way on the other side of the car park, so how could she have possibly gotten here in such a short amount of time? and how did the car not hit you? a strange dent made behind ellie on your car, and in the car ahead of you.

wordlessly, she stands up, away from you. jumping over your truck and away from the crowds that are surrounding you. people yelling over one another, crystal declaring she had an ambulance on the way while cat wildly scanned you, grabbing your face and looking around to see if you were okay, telling people to back up, it didn't help. your mind was far away, nowhere near this reality.

you have no time to bury yourself deeper into your thoughts, being whisked away into the back of an ambulance, truck abandoned in the school parking lot while more questions were being thrown at you, lights in your eyes, temperature reader in your ears, you weren't sure how much more you could handle.

but you had a few questions of your own, all of them having to do with the same person, ellie miller.

next

taglist, thank you all so much for reading i truly appreciate it beyond words ♡

@daughterofthemoons-stuff @angrybirdsmaster @st0nerlesb0 @cheriedivine

[wall-maria-around-ba-sing-se]

Things you learn by reading the Xenoblade X pre-story short stories that were never officially translated:

The gravity on Mira is 0.94 that of Earth

The Planet Mira was named after a woman from Earth named Mira Torrez. I think it's possible to learn this in-game but I've never seen it personally

The literal first thing you learn about Mira Torrez is that she was Protestant. Which I'm sure she could be but, statistically speaking, with that last name she probably wasn't lmao

Mira was considered the "emotional backbone" on the Earthlife Colonization Project and helped bridge the communication gap between regular citizens and the more military/governmental sides of the project. She was simultaneously a clergywoman, an educator, and a scientist. Without her, many normal people perceived the project as too concerned with preserving national interests rather than life on Earth. Mira was focused on steering the plan to be "free of racial, national or religious motives"

Mira chose to stay behind on Earth as it was attacked seemingly to help board people until the last second 🫡

Most of the people in current-NLA worked in heavily-fortified sectors of the ship like the Habitat Unit and the bridge. Meanwhile, the escape pods (like the one the player is found in) were for crew members who worked in less fortified sections of the ship

The Ghosts are called such not because we don't know anything about them, or because they disappeared suddenly, but because they phased through the hull of the ship when attacking

Tatsu got captured trying to get his shut-in friend to go outside and Touch Grass. He also got captured by the Prone RIGHT as the White Whale was crashing onto Mira.

While being dragged back to the Prone camp, Tatsu wished on the White Whale like a shooting star which, to me, felt very much like:

The Nopon did not know they lived on a planet until these weirdo aliens showed up and told them they live on a big ball in space

Nagi is the one who decided that Tyrants are called Tyrants

Nagi's the one who named it New Los Angeles/NLA

Nagi is the one who got rid of the ranks (recall in the beginning of the game, Irina is used to calling Elma "colonel" but Elma corrects her saying they're all the same rank now) mostly because he didn't actually want to be the chief defense minister lamo

Nagi ended up being defense minister anyways because Vandam called him a chicken about it

It was already obvious based on his in-game dialogue and battle lines, but the short stories really drive home that Nagi really really would rather be in the field commanding a small squad than be stuck at a desk doing paperwork

He tried to get Vandam to take the job but when that fails he ends up making it so Vandam has to be head of BLADE

Before the reorganization, Elma outranked Vandam

Nagi is the one who named it BLADE, seemingly based on something Elma had said a long time ago

Nagi is constantly going "man.... if only Elma was here" and I think it's so cute. They're besties your honor.

Maurice was the only "passenger" awake on the White Whale while it was in space. Everyone else was crew.

Maurice was supposed to be loaded into the lifehold alongside the president (unclear if Of The US or of some other organization) but the alien attack started and the president and the other aides fucking died(?). He woke up on the ship alone and he was depressed with survivors guilt for a few weeks until he resolved to start building connections with people, which ended up getting him a lot of ears up the chain of command

Maurice ended up running the government because everyone else thought it was a boring job

Nagi muted Maurice's comm device because he was sick of his nagging lmao. This made it harder to find him after the crash though, unfortunately

Maurice looks up to Mira Torrez and wants to "carry on her ideals"

Maurice was the one who suggested the planet be named after Mira

Lin saves Maurice's life by using herself as bait to lure a Tyrant away from him with flares

While all of the characters agree it is an unfortunate necessity that they have to fight the indigens, Lao seems to be the most against fighting native fauna, rolling his eyes and scoffing at retroactive justifications like "sorry, but it was me or you"

Nagi notes that Lao used to be more cheerful "before all this". I did not know that Nagi knew Lao before the destruction of Earth

Elma does not make an appearance until the end of the final short story. Unsurprisingly, Irina is the happiest about Elma resurfacing and is described as "clinging" onto Elma "with tears in her eyes" (👈 👀 🏳️‍🌈❓) while Elma explains where she's been this whole time (fixing her Skell after the crash so she could meet up with the others)

[sirfrogsworth]

I had no idea you're a professional photographer! I mostly follow your other blog for Corgis - if you posted your work there and I missed it, I apologize.

Your photography is AMAZING and thank you for sharing tips on light!

Bonus if you have time: when did you develop (haha!) interest for it and what's your favorite thing about this medium? ☆

Thank you. I have been trying to go back to my older work and edit things with my current skills and I have been posting that on occasion.

I also have an Instagram which is sort of like my current portfolio until I have the energy to create a proper website.

It's funny you mention corgis because Otis was the reason I got a proper camera. My followers helped me raise the money to get him and I felt like he belonged to everyone. So I wanted to make sure I took lots of photos of his shenanigans for people to enjoy. If they couldn't have a corgi of their own, I wanted them to live vicariously.

I never do anything halfway. I always go quite overboard. I filled my brain with everything I could possibly learn about photography so I could take the best possible photos of Otis.

In the process of doing that, I realized I loved the art form. So even though Otis isn't around anymore, I owe him for giving me this wonderful creative outlet.

I took a long hiatus from photography when my parents got sick and I had to take care of them. Even though I stopped taking photos, I would watch photography education to help me relax. And it felt a bit like that meme of the dude studying the blade. I was learning some very advanced stuff.

Once my parents both passed I found myself with a giant hole in my life. And photography called me once again. I was a bit rusty operating the camera for a day or two, but because I had continued my learning, it all came back pretty quick. And I realized I was orders of magnitude better at photography, lighting, and post processing than I used to be.

My first photoshoot after 7 years was of my aunt and uncle. I didn't have much in the way of lighting equipment (I sold it to help my family), so I bounced a little flash off one of those science fair trifold thingies.

These shots made me realize I definitely needed photography back in my life. I figured if I could do that with cardboard I found at Walmart, I would have great potential with proper equipment. So I'm in the process of building a new studio and getting some new gear so I can show off what I'm capable of now.

I ran into a little medical hiccup a few months ago which put everything on pause. While I'm recovering I'm not really able to take any photos. So I've decided to try and write some photography education and help others with their photographic journeys as best I can. And I am still continuing to learn and planning what I want to photograph when my health is in better shape.

I really want to do high quality animal portraiture. Not just cats and dogs. I want to find other exotic pets too. And I also want to do an art project where I help people take high quality photos of their parents. One of the things I was most grateful for after my folks died was the photos I took of them.

And also this one I took of my grandmother.

Having a really high quality photo of people you love is so important. And I don't think everyone realizes that. So I'm hoping I can help folks capture these important memories.

Oh, my favorite thing. I almost forgot. I would say it is the problem solving. Every photo is a new puzzle for me. Especially if I am working with artificial lighting and modifiers. I enjoy imagining a photo in my head and then going through the process, solving problems, and realizing what I imagined in real life. It's a great feeling.

This photo of my friend Ryan comes to mind. I just had this vision of someone reading in the middle of a forest. And so we dragged lights to my neighbors yard and I taped a flash inside the lampshade.

[muqingslover]

[ I absolutely adore Caleb and recently I've entered my Zayne era so today I want to talk about their relationship. (not based on canon just the voices in my head) ]

Yes they might have their issues but I wouldn't say they outright hate each other's guts. I believe they would actually be really good friends if their feelings for you wasn't part of the equation. Their dynamic works out sooooo good for one another if it wasn't for the conflict of interest it actually pains me that we won't see them getting along GRAAAH Infold I beg of you give me content of them together

Like I've mentioned before I like to think that their beef is mostly one-sided which, to me, means Zayne would be the more "mature" of the pair. He has a naturally caring nature so despite being aware Caleb doesn't like him (and they're technically competing for your heart) he can't help but worry about him, especially because you care about him.

Each time boy wonder showed up with bruises and scratches from practice or some other endeavor Zayne would force him to sit down and let him take a look by using the argument of "Do you want them to worry? Then sit. I'll make it quick."

Another sweet thought is Zayne coming over after his classes and finding you and Caleb dozing off while studying together. He would cover both with a blanket and remove anything that could interfere with your or his sleep (music playing, turning off the TV, glasses ECT)

Meanwhile Caleb reads him better than anyone. He may complain about how Zayne is so "stone faced" the whole time, but he KNOWS exactly what he's thinking and feeling for most of the time without even really trying. It's a skill he picked up while growing up — He always paid so much attention to the details for your sake that at some point he ended up getting very good at reading people in general.

What this means you may ask? Well my lovelies, Caleb is much more confident in expressing himself and he knows how to refuse requests he feels uncomfortable with or simply don't want to do (safe it for when they're about/from you) but Zayne not always can do that. In fact, during his early years, he was absolutely terrible at it and guess who came to rescue? That's right, our boy wonder.

"Please Zayne, just cover for me one more time?"

'...Oh, alrig—"

"Whoa whoa hold your horses! Sub-Zero has plans with me so no can't do, man."

"We don't—"

"Shush. Grab your things, let's go!"

He tells himself it's only because if Zayne worked himself to death then you would be worried about him and Caleb doesn't want to share any more attention than what he already has to. It's true of course, but not the full truth.

Caleb will pick up where he can't fully express himself by understanding what he wants without words while Zayne will be the rock he could lean on even if he is too stubborn to admit he needs the support because he doesn't feel the need to be the "perfect gege" like when with you.

[ I will continue to push the Zayne and Caleb agenda so come along for the ride pookies 🤭 ]

[h4ndwr1tten]

neighbor!toji x reader

this went on longer than i had planned...

cw: mentions of having a boyfriend, mentions of sex, mentions of cheating, mentions of violence, strong language, kinda suggestive? also toji seems very ooc, he was the first person to come to mind when i thought of this. pretend he has money :D

neighbor!toji who is the only person to not welcome you to your new apartment. he only ever comes out at night and returns at the crack of dawn, so it made sense.

neighbor!toji who shut the door on your face when you tried to introduce yourself to him with the intention of asking for some eggs.

neighbor!toji who was so confused as to why you'd still flash him smiles or greet him good morning or goodnight when he had shown no interest in befriending you.

despite that fact pissing you off, you still tried your best to show no hostility in hopes of at least gaining some mutual respect. you valued your neighbors, you never know when you'd need them.

neighbor!toji who is surprised to see you bring a guy to your apartment. he wasn't surprised that you pulled someone—no, you were absolutely gorgeous, so it made sense. he was surprised by the nasty feeling that crawled into his ribcage after seeing you and him.

he figures it's your boyfriend, as he's been coming to your place for a good two months now. moreover, he's heard the moans (mostly male), groans (also mostly male), and the banging of the bed against the wall every few days.

the sound pisses him off. he becomes irrational and stops functioning.

neighbor!toji who, as he's stepping out for the night, sees you struggling to jam your key into the keyhole. he hears your sniffles and choked back sobs, watching you grow frustrated over the door. the keys fall from your shaking hands, which cover your eyes as you can no longer stifle your cries.

he walks over to you and picks up the keys, opening your door and carefully leading you in. you can't even manage to thank him, but he doesn't mind.

neighbor!toji who realizes he despises seeing you cry. he wasn't even your friend, but hearing and watching you only fed that nasty feeling that made its home in his chest, the one that would only ever come out around you.

he knocks on your door the next morning, a bag of groceries in his hand. he doesn't know what compelled him to buy things he thought, hoped would make you feel better. he's never made any move to speak to you, and he prays that you don't find it weird or turn him down now.

a click sounds from the other side of the door before opening, revealing a puffy, red-eyed you.

"toji?" you mutter, wiping your pink, tear-streaked cheeks. "what's going on?"

he stares at you, figuring out what to say without sounding like a desperate weirdo. what was he even desperate for?

"uh... i got ya snacks," he hands you the bag. "thought it'd make y'feel better."

you look down at the bag, seeing some of your favorite chips and sweets. did he notice those frequently being in your grocery bags every time you went shopping?

you tear up and bite your lip as you take the bag from him, attempting to smile out of gratitude.

"thanks, toji."

from then on, neighbor!toji offers you things every time you're upset. when he hears you cry through the thin walls, he'd bring you ramen or a movie he'd think you'd like, because he doesn't want to see you cry.

and because his heart sinks to his ass when you do.

neighbor!toji discovers one night that your boyfriend had cheated on you. he didn't mean to eavesdrop, but how could he not? you were crying again, but this time, it was over the phone with your best friend, and he finally understood your tears.

neighbor!toji who drops off some dinner for you, before stepping out for the night to who knows where.

he returns the next morning at your doorstep with breakfast, offering to eat with you. you gladly accept, the fact that he used to be so cold and unapproachable long forgotten.

when you switch on the news, a gasp escapes your lips as your ex-boyfriend is on the screen. it was reported that he was found brutally beaten in an alley, but there was no evidence pointing to who had delivered the blows.

"oh my gosh, toji! look!" you tell him, shock written all over your face. "who the hell did that?"

he stares at the screen, admiring his handiwork. he left him beaten because he believed that death was too peaceful for the man who deserved anything but. but for your sake, he acts equally as surprised and oblivious. "no idea, doll," he mutters.

neighbor!toji who, from then on, vows to never let anyone hurt you, vows to make you feel better when you're down. crying for the 26th time this week? no problem, he's right there holding you and sharing dinner with you. wanna talk shit about your shitty ex? of course, he was never worthy or good-looking enough for you anyway.

after a month and a half, neighbor!toji musters up the courage to ask you out to dinner. you blush as you take up his offer, and toji is internally running a marathon.

neighbor!toji shows up at your door on a friday at 7 pm, donned in a black button up and jeans, carrying a gorgeous bouquet of roses for you. when you open the door, you practically see hearts in his eyes. you blush—you've found that you blush a lot more around him—and take the bouquet, setting them in a vase before rejoining him. he adores you and how beautiful you look. not that he believes you are much more attractive when you're going out to dinner, he just finds himself thoroughly enjoying different sides of you.

boyfriend!toji who has ever since treated you way better than your shitty ex, or any shitty exes, ever did. he makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, makes you smile so much your cheeks are sore. plans dates that are so creative or relaxed, always leaving you excited for the next. fucks you so, so good, that you become the louder one in bed, rather than being silent (shitty ex reference). he patches you up and gifts you in a way no one else could; toji fulfills you.

you're glad he used to be cold.

[two-white-butterflies]

slowburn

Description: Harvey refuses to take a sick leave. You teach him the importance of staying home and resting while unraveling feelings towards each other that have been kept hidden for ten years.

Pairing: harvey specter/reader

There were a million adjectives that you could use to describe Harvey Specter. Dedicated was one of those adjectives. He is the type of person to put in more work than he was getting paid for - oftentimes, it gets him into trouble but the fucking genius always finds a way out.

You suppose that is half the reason why you hate his guts.

His actions never have any negative consequences. He just marches into the room with a self-absorbed smirk and wiggles out of trouble. Matter of fact, you are surprised to see that he hasn't been sued for any workplace-related incidents before. You can think of at least three charges off the top of your head.

"He stole another one of my clients. I've been buttering up Mr. Pritchett for three months now and he just swoops in and finds his missing dog!" Phoebe rants while pacing back and forth, her heels clicking against the marble floors in a manner that you pray does not leave marks. Phoebe was hired at about the same time as Mike. She's been working as your associate for about half a year now.

Phoebe was at the top of her class at Harvard. She marched to Pearson Hardman with a laminated copy of her recommendation letters, all the professors were singing praises about her, almost as if they kneeled on the ground which she walked upon. On paper, she is leagues better than Mike Ross - but in reality, it seems like Harvey's associate is too much like him. Thief, you thought to yourself.

"There will be other clients," you reminded.

"We need Pritchett's Closets!" Phoebe sighs.

"- and Blinds." You gave her a teasing smile.

You have been trying to build this marketable image to your clients, opting to stay on the side of paperwork when it comes to technical cases mostly concerning patents, copyright claims, and all those boring things that actually bring the most money. After that case with Montgomery Co. with the missing ballerina and the murdered grandmother - it had all been too much, leaning more towards the black than the usual grey that you were suited with.

Phoebe knew that Pritchett's Closet's (& Blinds) endorsement would mean cementing that newfound niche that you've burrowed into, but with Harvey grabbing into Mr. Pritchett's proverbial golden tits. He is making that very difficult for you.

"I don't get it, why do they always steal our clients? Louis always gets the second most interesting cases." Phoebe regains her composure, opting to sit on the chair in front of you - watching as you drafted through a thousand-paged contract about some thingamajink. Phoebe just couldn't understand why Harvey of all people was hellbent on stealing your clients.

He is renowned for the storm, not the calm rivers.

"Our cases bring in the most money," you answered. It is very difficult to remain composed in front of your associate, but Jessica emphasized the fact that you were here to teach Phoebe about law. Rule #1 - never show any emotions. The first to react is the first to lose. "I don't think that Harvey is that desperate for money," she says.

You glance up from your laptop, an eyebrow raised in intrigue.

The way that her lips are curled right now. She's thinking about something unorthodox (which is not the appropriate adjective to use but you cannot think of another word to describe her mischief).

"I don't have time for this," you groaned hearing her giggles.

"Do you ever think that maybe Harvey is doing this to get your attention?" She leans a little closer, her eyebrows wiggling insisting that a connection existed even though it wasn't there. "Why would he want my attention, huh?" You asked expecting no decent answer.

"- because you are the third most fuckable woman in this office." She says in a hushed whisper. If there was water inside of your mouth, you would have spit it out by now. "Who's the first and the second?" Your voice comes out louder than you anticipated.

"I mean this with absolute adoration, but Jessica and me, respectively." Phoebe shrugs and a laugh forces its way out of your lips, for someone who answered her interview with professionalism, Phoebe is not acting very professional right now. "Jokes aside. I understand why Harvey would want to want you." She points out.

"You seriously have to stop reading those books," you roll your eyes.

"Remember that time when you brought me to the company gala? You were wearing that random dress from an atelier in Paris. It wasn't even a revealing gown, cloistered nuns wear clothes more revealing than that gown you wore but Harvey was staring at you with hearts in his fricking eyes." Phoebe exaggerates with her grand hand gestures. You suppose that you didn't exactly pay mind to Harvey during that gala - he did try to speak to you before leaving, but at that point you were far too tired - you just got into a cab.

You didn't even stop walking to hear what he was saying.

Oh, don't let Phoebe's words get to you. You thought to yourself.

She's nothing but a fresh graduate student who (swears) that she has never had a boyfriend her entire life. What does she know of love?

You pried your attention away from your laptop, staring at Phoebe straight in the eyes - in a tone that you have used with witnesses. "Even if Harvey Specter likes me in the way that you're pointing out, it doesn't matter because I don't care." You lied.

"- and you should go back to work." You pointed at the door.

And she stands up with a huff.

"Close the door on your way out!"

"Whatever!"

Goddamn, Phoebe!

Her words echoed in your mind, memories of that gala keep repeating - it was three months ago for Christ's sake. You still remember every detail albeit a little blurry.

Harvey was trying to reach out to you, but at that point, you had already drunk too much whiskey, everything was happening in slow motion. It was raining, your car was nowhere to be found and Phoebe already called a cab to get you home - at that time, you didn't have the capacity or sanity to discuss a case with Harvey, so you just left.

You prayed that Harvey would just think that you didn't hear him. It would hurt his ego, yes, but he always deserves a little humbling.

But now your mind is just repeating that scenario.

What if he wanted to talk about something else?

What if he wanted to be friends? More than friends?

"What the fuck am I talking about?" You mumbled to yourself while fishing for the car keys inside of your purse. It was already twelve midnight. You were probably the last person inside the damn building. A yawn escapes your mouth as you walked through the dark corridors of Pearson Hardman, but to your surprise the lights to Harvey's office are open and his door was slightly ajar. 

Phoebe's words come crashing towards you again. There is only one way to know, and that is to ask. Well, not ask but most certainly try to feel around, you argued with yourself.

Your feet taking you towards the direction of his office.

"Harvey, are you still there?" You knocked on his door.

"What is it?" He inquires while blowing his nose.

You paused for a second. Your eyes trailed back and forth between Harvey and the tissue in his hand presumably filled with snot. You have been working together for ten years and this is the first time that you've seen him sick. "I was about to leave but I saw that you were still here, so I'm just giving a heads up." You informed.

He sneezes once more, and you tilt your body towards the side - dodging the pathogens. "Are you sure that you're capable of going home?" You inquired with concern. He probably has a driver...

"Why wouldn't I be?" He shakes his head, his tone a little kinder.

"You look like you're about to die." You answered bluntly.

His eyes were puffy and his nose was red. On top of that, he was pale as a ghost - haunting you with his whiteness.

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" He chided.

You began to march in his direction, placing a hand on his forehead. The sudden proximity a little intimidating but still somewhat normal.

"You're going down with a fever," you said with certainty.

Your eyes trail towards his features, watching as his lips press into a thin line and his eyebrows merge together in frustration. It must feel horrible being sick during Q3 (which was the most important quarter in Pearson Hardman as all of your clients seem to get sued this season of the year). "You should take the day off tomorrow," you advised, almost surprised to hear these words escape your tongue.

You haven't had a decent conversation with Harvey for years. Well, you haven't spoken to him at all beyond business.

"As far as I'm concerned you're not Jessica and you can't tell me what to do." He shoves your advice down the drain, opting to return to the piles of paperwork sitting on his desk.

Oh yeah, stubborn is also a word you would use to describe him. Once he has his mind focused on something, it takes unstoppable force to pry him away. Heck, Phoebe calls him an immovable object referencing a reel that Donna sent to her. God, reels are awful.

"Suit yourself," you shrugged while turning around to leave.

"Goodbye," his voice is surprisingly soft.

No, this is just my mind playing tricks on me!

"Bye," you forced yourself to reply before shutting the glass doors behind you. Hopefully, he'll be better tomorrow - or else Jesicca will begin to realize that you aren't doing that much in the office.

You chuckle at the thought.

It was a stressful Friday in Pearson Hardman.

All Fridays are stressful in Pearson Hardman.

It was the last week of the month which meant that the accountant was going to come and audit the entire firm. Of course, the firm wasn't doing anything illegal per se but the accountant's presence did rattle Louis who would otherwise not be bothering you. "You didn't tell me that the check bounced," Louis barges into your office.

Jesus, you should really hire a secretary.

"I told you that we received an NSF Check but the client came and paid their dues in cash." You groaned. He isn't even the company accountant and he's going crazy over these small details. "You should have listed that down with the bookkeeper." Louis reminds.

"I did, that was two weeks ago!" You argued.

"Wait, two weeks ago?" Louis halts in his tracks.

"Yeah, and they sent me an email to confirm." You confirmed.

"I'm talking about the Fulgencio case," Louis repeats himself.

Oh right, that case that you made in collaboration with Harvey. It was about the inheritance of his illegitimate child yada yada. "Harvey was the one who handled the payments." You informed. Those checks should have been cashed in yesterday.

Normally you'd be the one dealing with the financial aspects of the case, but given the fact that Harvey was paired up with you - you threw those responsibilities to him. "Which means that you have to talk to him or I'm making Jessica write up a memo," Louis says.

"Why do I have to talk to him? You're the one dealing with the financial things." You complained. Seriously, Louis? Right when I'm about to start writing another contract with fucking Microsoft?

"You're the one who's supposed to co-sign the checks. You carry half of the blame." Louis reminds, and for someone who is Junior Partner - he sure as hell drives a good argument.

"Yeah, sure. I'll get it done Louis." You reassured.

Two things were for sure. You needed to talk to your co-workers with more decorum and that Harvey is seriously in trouble for not cashing those checks in. A groan escapes your mouth, already imagining all the paperwork that you were about to do - on top of that Mr. Fulgencio was probably sipping margaritas in Brazil, unreachable.

yourname@pearsonhardman.nyc Did you forget to cash in Mr. Fulgencio's checks? 11:29 pm

yourname@pearsonhardman.nyc We have to cash those in because we already recorded them in our books. Please reply with an electronic receipt ASAP. 12:00 pm

yourname@pearsonhardman.nyc Good afternoon, just messaging to check in with Mr. Fulgencio's checks. Cash them in ASAP before the weekend. 12:11 pm

"Harvey," you knocked on your co-worker's door.

After dealing with three back-to-back meetings, you expected at least a reply from Harvey, but he hasn't even seened your messages. "Come in," he replied hoarsely. For some miraculous reason, Donna was nowhere to be found in her desk.

It was a little uncharacteristic, concerning even...

"I sent you messages about the checks," you waltzed inside of his office. Momentarily taken aback by the sight of him. He looked bad yesterday and he looks horrible now. He looks like he hasn't slept the entire night - he was basically sleeping on his desk. It's a miracle that an associate has not stumbled upon the sight of him. Well, then again they probably already have. "I'll check it," he mumbled.

"Harvey," you said in a voice that was a little firmer.

You're not a sweet person. You're not the type of person who speaks in a concerned tone, catering to each and every problem that your co-workers face, but Harvey's was a different case. Ten years ago, he marched back into this office as an associate with his own legal secretary and he set the court ablaze. You were going to lie if you said that you didn't feel a tinge of attraction towards him - it was there, flickering like an almost dying star.

Nope, actually, not a dying star because that would mean that the attraction would have blossomed into something else and then died. More like a seed planted on loamy soil - and then someone trampled on the saplings before they grew into fully-formed trees.

Harvey was an almost, an almost turned rival but now he's a maybe?

Again, what the hell are you talking about.

Putting it in simpler terms, you simply cared about Harvey.

"Harvey," you repeated his name again, the realization beginning to settle. You're not the type of person who cares easily, so why do you care about Harvey so much? A real workplace rival would have rejoiced at the sight of him being this sick during the most important day of the most important quarter. But you weren't.

"I'll fix it, whatever it is." He says with certainty, his attention straying.

"You know that resting is not a bad thing, right?" You asked rhetorically. "I'm alright, I'm not sick," Harvey argued while fighting through the sneezes that threatened to make their way.

"Yes, you are," you replied bluntly.

"I have to work, I need to get these papers finished." Harvey rambled.

"It isn't selfish to put yourself first," you told him, taking another step closer until you were standing in front of him, leaning over his desk. "- and let's face it you're not getting any work done. You're only putting the people of this workplace in danger of infection," you persuaded, using words that you knew he'd be persuaded with. He stares at you.

Harvey wouldn't hurt a fly.

He wouldn't even dream of putting anyone's life in danger.

Harvey is a good person. (Bam, another adjective!)

He keeps staring at you, the sunlight casting a glow on his blue irises, and for a moment, you contemplate risking it all... He looks so handsome, basked in the warmth of the sunlight, that you forget everything that happened before. There are only thoughts of him. Harvey's golden curls were kissed by the gods of the sun and his aquamarine eyes proved to be beautiful in contrast to his lips...

His lips that you once dreamed of pressing kisses upon (in the caprice of your youth). Harvey looks like he's thinking of you too, but that thought is snapped away from your mind when he reaches for the telephone on his right, pressing a number that would connect to the phone on Donna's desk. "Yes, Harvey?" You hear Donna's voice from the other side of the call. "I'm going home," he informs.

A smile paints your lips.

How easy he was to persuade.

"Hi, Ray, please take Harvey home." You helped a very sick Harvey into the backseat of his car.

"Of course miss...?"

"(Your Name), oh here's my number - just call me if you need anything." You reached for your pocket, handing him a call card.

"Goodbye, safe driving." You waved.

It was already early morning when Ray Benghazi called your phone. "Hello, who is this?" Your voice was hoarse and your throat felt dry. Your eyebrows merged together in confusion, this was your personal phone number and not a lot of people knew about it.

"Atty. (Your Name) this is Ray Benghazi. I'm Harvey's driver, and I just called because Mr. Specter hasn't replied to my texts. He's supposed to attend a conference in the Hamptons, but his car needed some repairs, so I'm tied up in the mechanics. I was wondering if you could check up on him? I'm sorry, I just don't know the phone numbers of Harvey's other friends." Ray rambled off.

From his tone, you could make out his embarrassment and concern.

"Oh sure, just send me his address." You agreed.

"Thank you so much, I will text it to you, ma'am." He responded.

Harvey Specter, the things I do for you.

The sun was already beginning to shine when you reached Harvey's apartment. This will be your first time seeing him beyond work and work-related events and the circumstances were strangely domestic. Harvey is not the type of person who befriended people outside of work - and yet, here you were. You stopped at the threshold, your hands dancing against the metal button of his doorbell.

Is this a good time? You found yourself asking.

Ding dong! The doorbell echoed from inside his apartment.

Maybe he's still sleeping - or maybe he has company. He's probably fine, I shouldn't have come here. But, he could also not be fine and that would be a bigger problem -

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Harvey's eyebrows merged together. He was wearing a blue Eagles T-shirt paired with red sweatpants. It was seldom that he wore anything other than his silk-pressed suits. "Ray called me and told me to check up on you," you informed while raising your phone to show him the shadow of a text message.

He presses a hand to his face, chuckling. "Sorry, I wasn't able to reply to his messages but I decided to not attend the event. No need to worry," he whispers the last sentence. "I'm not accusing you of worrying about me," he is quick to correct and his phrase makes you laugh. Oh, you wouldn't be here if you weren't worried about him. You wouldn't have even woken up to Ray Benghazi's phone call at 4am if you weren't a bit worried about Harvey Specter.

"Why would I worry about you?" You tease and his face falls slightly.

"Do you want to come inside?" He offers. "- I was sick, so don't come in unless you have a fear of microbes." He opens the door slightly, prompting you to follow after him. "I don't care about that. I only mentioned the infection thingie because I know you'd care," you say.

"Good, I've never seen you wear a mask before." He says sarcastically.

"Please, I've never been sick before." You scoffed while sitting on the stool beside his breakfast nook. "Yep, the sniffling you were doing in January was just allergy season." He rolled his eyes.

"I didn't think that you were the one to keep score, Specter." You bantered while watching him make coffee. Your eyebrows merged together - you don't really drink coffee. You were more of a matcha person (ever since your aunt who had a vacation in Japan came back with matcha, you were hooked). "I don't keep score?" he scoffs.

He places a purple mug in front of you.

"I don't drink coffee," you gave him a polite smile.

"It's hojicha. It's not matcha but..." he shrugs and you freeze. How the fuck does he know about my hyperfixation on matcha? "Jessica brought those back when she came from Japan, but I'm not much of a tea connoisseur." He continues speaking.

"You don't look like the type," you mumbled while taking a sip of tea. "Your ancestors did throw tea on some river, or was it the ocean?" You pretended to be clueless about American history and he replies with an amused chuckle. "Whatever you say," he takes a sip of his coffee. His eyes on the city skyline in front of him.

"I hope that I don't owe you one - for checking up on me." He stops to look at you, his eyes trailing back and forth between your eyes and your lips. He met you ten years ago inside a cramped office in Pearson Hardman, clawing your way to the position that you have now - and he always admired you. Always found you beautiful, educated and interesting but way out of his league.

"Please, you owe me for another thing." You smiled.

You know almost everything about every topic in the world. You're able to connect with Jessica and her love for watching tennis. You're able to connect with Donna and her love for fashion - almost everyone is absolutely engrossed in you, including him.

"Other thing?" He tilts his head.

He doesn't even purposefully do it, but he overhears your conversations with other people, and suddenly, he remembers all your likes and dislikes. Sometimes, he uses that information to tease you - but oftentimes it just sits in his head, stagnant, waiting to be used. He doesn't even know what to call your relationship - more than co-workers but less than friends? More than friends but less than lovers? He knows that he cares though.

"The checks. You forgot to cash the checks in." You lightly remind him of the checks with Mr. Fulgencio. "Oh, shit." He winces.

"How will I ever make it up to you? Patron saint of checks?" He teases. "Hmm," you pressed a finger to your lips.

"- I don't want to cash in that check yet." You winked.

Just as you said that word, it began to rain.

"Oh shit," you cursed, watching the strong blip blop of the raindrops. "Did you walk here?" Harvey asks.

You answer with a nod, mentally cursing yourself.

"I'll take an Uber home, it was nice hanging out with you." You smiled. Goodness sake, who says hanging out? You cursed yourself again.

"No, you should stay," Harvey insists adamantly. "It would be rude to send you home; it's raining cats and dogs outside." He points at his open window. It is pouring heavily, and you are wearing sandals. That sensation, along with the dirty stress of NYC, must be awful.

He forces a thin-lipped smile on his face.

"Just for a little while," he argued.

"Fine," you relented.

The both of you tiptoed in the direction of his home theater. It wasn't a grand home theater per se, but there were about eight couches all sitting in front of a big screen. The room was dark, only illuminated by downcast lights - and the room was cold, like you were inside of a freezer. "I didn't know you were this rich," you teased.

"We have the same salary," he rolled his eyes, both of you sitting down on the couch farthest from the screen. "But not the same bonuses," you argued. "Yes, you get more." He banters, earning a giggle from you. "I do not," you shook your head.

"Louis told me," he reaches for the remote, handing it to you.

"I'm gonna sue him," you mumbled.

"Choose a movie," he says while leaning down on the couch. "If you have a home movie theater that must mean you're real picky in the movies that you watch." You made an observation.

Heck, this streaming platform was the one worth $10k. Does Harvey know anything about fiscal responsibility? "Choose one and see if I'll judge you," he breathes, pulling a blanket over his body - the blanket which he must've accidentally also pulled over your lap.

"I feel pressured," you say.

"Princess Bride?" you asked while hovering over the button.

"Sure," he agrees while opening a pack of chips, offering them to you.

You Hey, thank you so much for today!!

Harvey Specter (cell) I thought I was supposed to say that Thanks for staying in and watching movies with me Seen. 12:22 pm.

Harvey Specter (cell) I was thinking that maybe we should have dinner sometimes? Seen. 11:11 pm.

You And when exactly is *sometimes*?

Harvey Specter (cell) Tomorrow, 5pm. Carrizima's? I'll pick you up. Seen. 11:12pm.

You Sure, I'll give Ray my address.

There were many benefits to having a stable job, one of them included luxury shopping - and boy, did you do that a lot, to the point that your sales associate had you on speed dial for limited edition items. "You're going on a fucking date? We cheered!" Phoebe chided.

"I guess it is kinda a date." You agreed.

You didn't even want to sugarcoat Harvey's invitation, the both of you are grown humans and it would be uncharacteristic to tiptoe like teenagers. But, that didn't mean that you were going to drape yourself all over him, it was just a date - meaning, the both of you want to test the waters. If there's some sort of compatibility.

"I guess that means my shipping days with Harvey Specter are over," Phoebe sighed. Yes, you learned that the word 'shipping' meant creating a romantic pairing of two people in slang. Phoebe says that she has been shipping you with Harvey for quite some time now. When she finds out that you are going on a date with Harvey, she is going to freak out - but, you don't have to tell her.

Phoebe and Donna know everything about everyone. What's the problem with withholding this information from her? It'll be funny and she'll find out about the date soon enough. "Tell me about the guy that you're going on a date with. Is he handsome?" She asked.

"Oh yeah, and he's not like those boys on social media that you like. He has a real job," you teased your associate. "What job?" She continued prying as your sales associate, Georgina, placed a stack of dresses on the clothes rack. "He's a lawyer," you confirmed.

Hoping that Phoebe would be able to piece the two things together.

"Damn, he's handsome and a lawyer. Harvey will be so jealous." Phoebe giggled. "You should wear this dress," she pointed at the white dress that reached past your knees. "- you should be very demure in your attack." She advises.

"Spoken from the mouth of a girl who has never had a boyfriend," you rolled your eyes while stepping inside of the dressing room. Thank you, Georgina for getting me a private room, you say.

"I have read a lot of books!" Phoebe defended herself.

The restaurant that Harvey chose was spectacular. It had the perfect aesthetic of Venice, curated with each decoration in beautiful taste, it felt real and authentic, not like the restaurants in Times Square which were obvious tourist traps.

You wearing a white floral Erdem shirt dress with cute Bresson lace sleeves, merging in with the restaurant's aesthetics. On your right, two young French couples were looking longingly into each other's eyes, and on your left, there was an older couple - doing the exact same thing. Your gaze returns to Harvey.

Where does that leave you and Harvey in this visual metaphor?

"I've never been here before," your eyes trailed against the restaurant's beautiful interior. "- ten years living in New York and not once..." you chuckled, wondering how this beautiful restaurant was able to eclipse your radar. "It's a hidden gem," He replies.

The first time that Harvey visited this place was with Jessica, where she begged him to return back to the firm. After that entire scandal in the D.A.'s office with Cameron Dennis, he hasn't really had the opportunity to revisit this restaurant - the restaurant that marked new beginnings for him. "I'm sorry about forgetting to take care of the checks. I already sent an email to Fulgencio's assistant, and don't worry I already talked to the accountant." He explained.

"Everybody makes mistakes, and you were sick, which meant that you weren't exactly yourself." You comforted, taking his apology.

The waiter places both of your dishes on the table, and you mumble a quick thanks. There was a moment of silence between you, only broken by the sound of jazz music playing in the background.

"I like your dress," he compliments shyly - reminding you of young love. A type of love that you missed out on in your youth due to the pursuit of greatness. The sound of him is refreshing. "Your tie doesn't look so bad," you teased while taking a sip of your merlot.

He places a hand on his tie.

"This is a special tie," his eyebrows merged together in mockery.

"I've never seen you wear that tie before," you scoffed.

"I've never had a special day," he defends himself while twirling the strands of pasta around his fork, taking a bite of bolognese. "- and why would today be a special day?" You raised an eyebrow.

Harvey freezes, but just for a split second.

He has thought about this scenario almost a hundred times. When he's washing his hair in the shower, he can't help but imagine what it would feel like to make this real, to confess feelings of attraction that he has kept buried for the past decade, masking it up with banter and stealing each other's clients. But now sitting in front of you, sandwiched between a young and an old couple - he cannot help but feel taken aback. What if you end up being like his mother? What if he loves you so much, he ends up like his father?

"- because we're having dinner together." He replies automatically.

You are not going to be like his mother. He's spent ten years in an office with you, kept his feelings hidden, settled with banter because he is terrified. Harvey Specter is terrified of confessing his feelings and losing one of the only friends that he has. He's terrified of you feeling the same way and watching you unfold under the weight of his anxiety, and he doesn't know if those fears hold no merit now.

He's scared, overthinking a simple sentence - overthinking this dinner, and on the outside - overthinking is not Harvey Specter's brand. He's confident, smug, aloof, but he is not. He's tired of being called smart, he's just scared. He's scared that without his law degree, without his work in Pearson Hardman, he's just a nobody with divorced parents who'll probably never experience real love.

"Harvey, are you alright?" Your voice suddenly sounded airy.

He takes a deep breath, feeling his chest constrict for a second. He continues staring at your face, allowing the light to lead him to peace. "Yes," he answers with a smile on his face.

He takes another deep breath.

In. Out. In. Out.

His heart is thumping furiously, he cannot think straight, but he knows exactly what he is supposed to do. "I'll be straightforward," he cleared his throat. "Yes?" You raised an eyebrow, the world continued happening beside you - but your attention was only focused on him.

The sound of the jazz band playing, the taste of the wine on your tongue, the casual conversation happening behind you - it all got drowned out because Harvey was the only thing worthy of your attention right now. "The thought of you makes me smile. I wake up everyday anticipating your morning remarks, because I find you funny and beautiful and interesting. I like you." Harvey confessed, he sat tall and confident, not for once second doubting himself.

There was another round of silence between you.

His face changes slightly, merging into confusion when you began laughing.

Laughing hard and uncontrollably.

"Is this funny to you?" He returns back to his cocky self.

"No, no, I find it - hilarious." You wiped away tears of joy.

"I planned this entire thing with a helicopter, and I was about to tell you that I liked you too." You professed a shocked smile paints his lips. "Damn," he leans on his chair.

Damn indeed.

GIRL'S GROUPCHAT

Phoebe Ya'll will never guess who (Your Name) is dating.

Donna who?

Phoebe Ya'll will never guess

Rachel You dunno, do you?

Phoebe Uhh no but I know he works in Pearson Hardman She sent me a picture and I swear he was holding a folder A YELLOW FOLDER WITH OUR FIRM'S LOGO

Donna seems like this is a mystery we're supposed to solve

Rachel It's intriguing ...

Part Two >>

[yakichoufd]

Is it weird that I don't feel excited for the Deadpool and Wolverine movie?

I feel like X-Men 97 already scratched that X-Men itch and obsession in my head. Plus I feel satisfied with artists like you making Wolverine polycule fanart and fancomics.

Is something wrong with my head???

I think your feelings are valid cause you don't need to watch something else if you already feel satisfied. I am hype for that movie because I enjoyed the first two Deadpool movies. I am not expecting to fall in love of Logan there, or the other x-men we might see. I am expecting to watch a ridiculous movie with silly jokes and funny action scenes. I am hoping Scott will have a cameo but I think it won't happen. I've never been a super fan of Logan movies. He is fun and interesting (plus the actor is very handsome so my eyes are always happy when he is on screen), but his big lone wolf energy was a bit too much for me. Maybe he is too handsome and awesome and in the animated serie, he is a grumpy short king who has a lot to say and his lone wolf personnality seems more understandable to me. I really enjoy how unhinged he is in the 92 show and how he was in 97. It satisfies me a lot. I think you can take whatever please you in any adaptation and play around that. You don't need to enjoy every new adaptation from a franchise you like. There are some X-men comics where I find Scott really boring and not interesting at all. I enjoy very specifics things about him and therefore it makes me very picky about how he is portrayed. I still think I am a fan. I am a picky fan, but a fan regardless. Even if I mostly know the animated shows. I am tired of that childish fight "Oh I am a better fan cause I read the comics!" it is not a competition lmao! Enjoy whatever you want!! I personnaly read the comics cause I want more Scott content. That's my personnal reason. I want to know everything about him haha! I think we are many to be tired of the Jean/Scott/Logan drama ( where they are rivals instead of lovers) cause that rivality, usually, has a layer of misogyny and sexism. Jean is the prize and the 2 males love interests can't think straight and have to claim her. As if Jean has no choice but to accept the one who fight the hardest. I'm sorry but that is really stupid, and not how feelings work imo. That kind of relationship is based on something so weak, it will break at the first issue they would meet . I personnaly find that kind of writting insulting for every character involved, and it breaks the sincerity and depth of the romance. It removes all kind of feelings, character development and personnalities. It makes them so immature too. The polycule road on the other hand shows they could build something different. They could break the rules and be free to make their own. And as mutants, they don't care about humans society stupid rules. The can write what works for them and gain maturity over their relationship and sexuality. I am not saying every couples have to become a polycule to be mature. But for Scott, Jean and Logan it seems like a better fit for them. They can still act silly and fight over randoms things, but removing that very unhealthy incomplete love triangle and make it an actual love triangle, where each individual have romantic feelings for each other is better for them imo.

[inumakis-boo]

May I have some dating Toge Inumaki headcanons? Both sfw and NSFW... If you're comfortable.

TOGE INUMAKI ♫₊˚.🎧 ✧💬

headcanons 𓍢ִ˖ hello and thank you for the requests! i am current rediting all of my posts, so if this looks a little different than when you first saw it, thats the reason why!

anyways, i hope all of you enjoy! and if course, NSFW will be tagged and is written for a female perspective.

safe for work headcanons

- would probably not notice each other the first time you meet, maybe an interested glance but it doesn't really hit until the second or third time that he really sees you

- probably asks for your number just so yall can talk better, and once you do, its an instant connection. he literally wouldnt be able to stop, staying up all night to text you

- texts you out of the blue, and although probably feels embarrassed to double text, he is just that interested in you

- would totally deliever a bag of goodies he bought at the store for you, and additionally maybe offer to make you a lunch to try before he makes it for everyone else

- you comment on one of his t-shirts he wears and he puts it in one of the goodie bags he buys you, doused in his cologne because he wants you to think of him

- would totally send annoying memes and tiktoks and bully you over text, also play 8-ball COMPETITIVELY cause he aint gonna lose to you (he doesnt even pity lose to you)

- shows up unannounced just to kiss you in the door frame of your dorm room as a goodnight and then leaves you there

- that is until you invite him over to your dorm at night and he brings post-it notes and teaches you his semi-bilingual language for easier understanding, and utterly loves you for it

- the talking stage would be him just pining over you cosntantly, writing it all down in journals or in his notes app

- after yall started dating, it is very much a no public affection mostly because he doesnt want anybody to be in your business. especially with his noisy ass friends

- but no matter what, he is going to hold your hand, especially when going on dates and walking around campus at night (would definitely talk u into sneaking out)

- he would be hesistant to kiss you even after yall became offical, probably go a few weeks before you just say it straight that you want him to kiss you and you dont even get it all out before hea pinning you to a door and giving you the best kiss of your life

- would absolutely use his speech on you so you cannot resist it when he tickles you or when you are beating him in a game

- he is not the sappiest guy, but if you start to get sappy over a movie or a sad book, he will rub your back and give you head-kisses to help you feel better

below is not safe for work content. mdni.

not safe for work headcanons

- you find out very quickly into the relationship that he cannot resist a challenge of any kind. therefore, using that to your advantage always works out

- challenging him through text to sneak out of his dorm will work, but ofc he wants a prize at the end (you are on your knees for the next hour)

- the benefit of his speech is that you don't feel any fatigue whatsoever during its use, so that makes it really easy to make your body endure while you deep-throat him over and over.

- it doesn't diminish the pleasure though; being told to stay still while he fondles your chest takes away nothing from the experience, and he knows how much you like having no choice.

- not that even if it was tiring, you wouldn't let him throat-fuck you, the noises he makes are heavenly for someone who can't speak straight, the struggle of watching him grip the bedframe and biting his lips so he doesn't utterly ruin you is SO worth a bruised throat.

- he might be nervous to use his speech on you the first time, but after you make sure that you can handle it, its becomes so much more confident in using it

- he loves making out with you, he loves making your lips red with all the biting, he wants to see them glossy and wet right before he puts his fingers in your mouth (you know where they are going next)

- sexting is so fun, yall thought it might be cringy, but its literally the best when he calls you with a command and he gets to listen to you whimper and moan as he jerks off to it, can be totally unexpected

- "Ride me."

- hand on your thigh when nobody can see, and his pinky is awfully close to your panties that it makes you nervous.

- ofc he can easily make you cum, but will he always let you? not without a cute little 'please' hes not. begging is fun, isnt it?

- lets be honest, the dick game is so good he don't even have to tell you to go to sleep after

- ofc he would definitely lay it down on you exactly how he described through text, and then clean you with special wipes he bought from the store because he aint a dickhead, duh.

I have so many more, especially for different situations, so lmk if you want more! Thank u for all the support as of recently!

bye pookies!

[jelliewrites]

Rec List — The Adult Industry Edition!

That's right, all the below fics feature Harry or Draco (mostly Draco tbf) working in the sex industry. Please mind the tags for any fic you click on.

You always open (petal by petal) by birdsofshore

Explicit | 65 214

Summary: Harry’s not the kind of person who pays for sex. He really isn’t. Until he is.

This is one of my favourite ever fics featuring Down and Out Draco and an obsessed but delightfully oblivious Harry.

Fantastic Flip Fuck with Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy! by @hoko-onchi-writes

Explicit | 10 898

Summary: Draco fucks Harry. Harry fucks Draco. They are porn stars. That's it.

This is a hugely fun fic where Harry and Draco are porn stars.

Another Mask Behind You by @letteredlettered

Explicit | 116 557

Summary: Draco is a high-end prostitute who hides his identity. Harry unknowingly hires him. And then there is porn, questions about identity, domestic bliss, more porn, and truth as seen through a web of lies. (And then more porn. Seriously, if you don’t want sex scene after sex scene you probably shouldn’t read this. And please read the warnings.)

Another of my absolute favourites, Draco is an escort in disguise hired by Harry. Draco is a fantastically unreliable narrator and the smut is epic.

Nonymity by @shewhomustnotbenamed

Explicit | 11 304

Summary: Anonymity and Harry Potter rarely went hand-in-hand. When he learned about a sex club that hid both the patron's and the sex workers' identities, he knew he had to try. Little did he know that the club had a dark secret.

I came across this little gem while compiling this rec list. It's refreshing to read a first person fic and it handles consent really well.

Freedom to be by @quicksilvermaid

Explicit | 169 560

Summary: Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived.

12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends.

Only nothing feels perfect.

Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place.

Don't want to give any spoilers on this one but there's a BDSM club!

Unhook the Stars by Jad

Explicit | 70 587

Summary: For HP Sexstars 2012. - "Love is like a Rubix Cube: there are countless wrong twists and turns, but once you get it right, it's perfect no matter how you look at it." Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words. Guest appearances by Pansy Parkinson, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, Teddy Lupin, Gregory Goyle, the Weird Sisters, ex-wives, several Weasleys, a Boggart, and a Honey Badger.

Another of my top favourite fics and an absolute classic, Draco is an escort hired by Harry.

Camboy Draco by A_LoveUnlaced

Mature | Art

Summary: Draco is living in the muggle world, working as a cam boy. And he's very, very good at his job.

Some top quality art next. Sadly the fic it is inspired by is no longer in A03, but it kind of reminds me of...

Come As You Are by @its-the-allure

Explicit | 35 016

Summary: When Harry Potter visits a sexy internet chatroom site, he does so with the hope of answering a niggling question: Am I interested in men? He finds more than he anticipated when he stumbles upon a free strip show starring a very familiar person. Just what is Draco Malfoy doing on a Muggle pay-per-view site? And when did he get so fucking fit?

... this super fic which also featured Draco on webcam and stunning art by @itsphantasmagoria

I'm in Love with a Stripper by @kbrick

Explicit | 79 576

Summary: Harry's life is a bit of a disaster across the board, but it's particularly messy when it comes to love. Because Harry might have feelings for his best friend, and he definitely has feelings for his best friend's brother, and he sometimes sleeps with his other friend, for whom he has no feelings whatsoever. Then things somehow manage to get even more complicated when Draco Malfoy twerks his way back into Harry's life one night at a muggle strip club.

Because as it turns out, Draco's a stripper. And he's gotten really, really fit. And his sugar daddy is a married club owner.

What could possibly go wrong?

Draco Malfoy is a stripper! Nuff said 🩷

Embers by @shiftylinguini

Explicit | 25 195

Summary: Werewolf Alphas aren't meant to be alone, or to suppress their ruts indefinitely like Draco has been since he was bitten eight years ago. He needs company, companionship, to knot ― he needs an Omega Heat Companion. At least, that’s what the Healers say, and even Draco can admit contacting the person they’ve referred him to might be nice.

Of course it turns out to be bloody Potter.

This time it's Harry providing his services to Werewolf Draco 🐺

I'm looking for a man in finance. 6'5". Grey eyes by @vukovich

Explicit | 7 728

Summary: Harry's a part-time sex worker. Draco's a piece of shit.

I will read anything this author writes, even a shopping list. This is a great fic which constantly challenges the readers' expectations.

In the Red by @bixgirl1

Explicit | 45 629

When Harry goes looking for a vampire at a Creature club, the second-to-last thing Harry expects is to find Malfoy working there.

The last thing he expects is to fall in love with him.

And finally we have Vampire Draco working in a creature club.

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

Hii if your requests r open can i ask for hcs for the om casts with an mc with inverted nipples? Like would they find it cute whenever they tease mc until it peeks out? Maybe mc is hyper sensitive around there and they can't handle the teasing

How interesting I think they all would love it regardless but let's play around with the idea ☺️

The brothers react to a inverted nipples Mc

Lucifer

When he first saw Mc nude he of course was beyond overjoyed. But something he took notice of was MC's nipples. They didn't peek out as he's seen before. He asks carefully not wanting to make MC uncomfortable and once they explained he had an odd grin on his face. This little sadist will try everything in his power to get them to peek out now. Overstimulating MC's chest until they come out. Using toys such as a vibrator to lure them out as well. He leaves them sore and MC can definitely feel his touches after his sessions with them. He doesn't mind them. He loves a challenge.

Mammon

When he first saw Mc naked he was eyeballing EVERYTHING. He made mental notes but asked MC if they had anything they wanted to tell him. When they told him of their nipples he looked a bit confused "I don't see anything wrong with 'em?" He states. He thought they were normal everyone is built differently. He does however enjoy getting them to come out. He likes using his mouth and hands more than anything else. He knows when he wears his rings they help as well bringing a nice cold sensation to MC's chest. His tongue prodding them out then sucking enjoying his time wayyy to much. His greedy ass tries to do this without even relieving himself he just wants to keep doing it over and over. Another one who overstimulates them but not on purpose.

Levi

Seeing MC's naked body was already a shock enough as is. He analyzed as much as he could of MC's body without passing out from losing too much blood out of his nose. MC told him about their body and their nipples was something that stuck with him. He used his tongue the most since it was a snake-like type of tongue. He wondered if it would work and oh boy did it. He now only uses his tongue and feels prideful when he got Mc's nipples to come out.

Satan

When he and MC shared their bodies to each other he was very mindful as to what MC disliked about themselves and what they did like. They didn't necessarily say they didn't like their nipples just that it takes a bit to have them come out fully. He had no problem with that whatsoever. He used his hands mostly. He massaged and groped MC's chest until they became horny enough that their nipples would show. He enjoyed watching them slowly rise. He was so rough he infact left finger print indents on MC's chest for them to look at later.

Asmos

He knew immediately what type of nipples Mc had all he had to do was look. He has his own unusual grin as well. He had nipple clamps that he oh so desperately wanted to try out. He knew many ways to get Mc's nipples out and used many of his toys to do it and once they were out he used those nipple clamps almost all night.

Beel

He was already mesmerized by how beautiful MC looked naked but immediately perked up and listened when they told him of their nipples. He of course didn't mind but wondered how to get them out. He used his strong tongue usually but he found himself suddenly using ice cubes. It was by accident that he found this information out that ice cubes work well for this situation. But now he moves from his tongue to ice cubes leaving Mc's nipples sore but not in a bad way that's a little too overwhelming like the others do.

Belphie

He wanted to see MC naked for a while he wasn't gonna lie. He knew regardless of what MC says or thinks about themselves he would love each and every part of them. He did listen of course but just chuckled a bit at Mc's words. "You think something like that would bother me hm?" He was slow as is but he did also take his time to ease out MC's nipples. His hands ontop of his mouth on MC's neck seemed to do fine. Once Mc's nipples were out he tugged on them a bit and leaves gentle bites and kisses along Mc's neck. He takes his time happily.

[lemotmo]

Thoughts on 911 8x17...

Disclaimer: I am operating on 2 hours of sleep, because I watched 911 live and it airs at 2 am where I am. So please, do forgive any incoherency or inconsistency.

Okay, where to begin?

First things first: This truly felt like an episode of the 911 TV show I fell in love with all those years ago. It was THAT good. It NEEDED to be THAT good as well. The last two episodes were bad and we needed a winner. We got it. YAY!

There are so many things to talk about here.

One of the first things I noticed was that this episode was made up of family and found family.

We had 4 clear distinctive family groups:

1. Athena and the kids, with some Karen & Athena and Hen & Athena thrown into the mix.

2. Hen, Karen and the kids with (again) some Karen & Athena and Hen & Athena thrown into the mix.

3. Maddie, Chimney and the kids (no Jee, but their unborn child was there) with some Hen & Chimney thrown into the mix.

4. Buck, Eddie, Christopher and aunt Pepa with some Hen & Eddie and Karen & Eddie thrown into the mix.

(The rest of the post is under a cut, so I don't clog anyone's dash)

All of them were struggling with Bobby’s death in their own way. I’ll talk about all of them briefly, but I’ll dive deeper into the last one, since it’s about the Buckley-Diaz family and I love them:

1. Athena was trying to stay strong and she mostly succeeded, but she couldn’t hide her irrational anger at Chimney.

To be fair, I completely understand where she is coming from. It has to hurt to see Chimney running around, doing perfectly fine, when she lost her husband because he wanted to save his friend.

It isn’t fair to Chimney, but it’s understandable why she reacts that way.

I love how we saw her with Hen and Karen and how great their friendship is.

I love Athena when she has to respond to silly calls like the laundry call. Angela shines in scenes like that.

2. Hen is struggling with the whole captaincy thing. Part of her wants it, but another part doesn’t. I know she called the Chief that she doesn’t want the job, but I wonder if she won’t call him back to tell him she has changed her mind in 8x18?

Because if it isn’t Hen, then who?

Unless they find someone from outside of the 118 or Bobby comes back somehow? (Which I still believe is a big possibility.)

I don’t know…

I still think it might be Hen in the end. Even if Bobby does come back. He won’t want to be Captain anymore.

3. Poor Chimney. He didn’t ask Bobby to save him, but he feels guilty anyway. That has to hurt.

To be honest though, I think Bobby would have saved him even if he had been single with no kids. Bobby is just THAT kind of guy.

I love how we got to see Maddie supporting Chimney in this episode. This was something 8x16 lacked completely.

4. Ah. Wow. This episode really brought home once again just how magical and real the chemistry is between Buck and Eddie. Nothing feels forced which it did with other pairings this show has thrust upon us in the past.

Let’s break down the Buckley-Diaz family scenes chronologically:

A. The episode opening with Buck’s flashback. The way the lighting changed as soon as we flashed to the now. It went from warm and cozy to cold and sterile.

It’s interesting how this flashback was mainly focused on three people: Buck, Bobby and Eddie. Buck of course because he was the one daydreaming. Bobby for obvious reasons and Eddie because he hadn’t been in the fire station for a while, even when Bobby was still alive. They got most focus, which means that Buck isn’t just struggling with Bobby’s death, but also with Eddie’s imminent departure back to El Paso.

It also seems that a lot of the scenes in the fire station were cut. There was no talk with Gerrard… thank god. There was no grocery shopping and lots of take out in the fridge scene. It was definitely the right choice to cut those scenes.

B. Next up was the Hen, Karen and Eddie scene. This was very interesting. We opened on them talking about Buck. The way Eddie talks about Buck and how worried he is, has Karen asking the right questions here. He briefly touches on how he hadn’t spoken to Bobby in two weeks and there’s a bit of that Eddie guilt peeking through. It’ll explode in that later scene with Buck.

I also liked how Hen tried to reassure him that he was building a whole new life in El Paso and that was okay. It was obvious that Eddie didn’t want that at all. Being back in LA, being back ‘home’ as Karen repeated. (Which… I love Karen so much. She is soooo perceptive.)

LA is Eddie’s home, yes. But the way he talks about Buck all the time? This scene definitely implied that Eddie’s home isn’t just the city, the people and the 118. It’s specifically Buck.

C. The Buck confession scene was something all right. I was so surprised that it was Buck in that confessional though and not Eddie. But I guess it does make sense since Buck is trying to find Bobby in everything he does.

I love how he had his phone at the ready, because he had no idea what to say. Typically Buck! The way he felt so much like the Buck we know from previous seasons was so refreshing. He is struggling, but he is still very much the Buck we all fell in love with.

His ‘talk’ with Bobby was so beautiful. It felt so honest and raw. Oliver’s acting was on point here.

The way he is trying to honour Bobby’s last wish, trying to take care of everyone. And then Bobby’s sign! It’s such a Buck thing to believe that Bobby sent him the earthquake sign.

D. I love how Buck recognised the ‘dentist’ lady from that previous episode where she was blue. He has such a good memory.

E. Then we get to THAT Buddie scene. First of all, they are living the domestic dream together. Making arrangements on who is doing what, like going out for groceries. Love that!

The way Buck is obviously upset over Eddie going back to El Paso and the job offer. He is trying hard to be supportive, but by the tone of his voice we all know (Eddie included) that Buck isn’t all that happy about it.

The way they got into this argument, because Eddie didn’t tell Buck about the job offer and Buck found out through Ravi. It’s poetic. Eddie’s guilty little face and his ‘I was going to tell you.’ was sooooo husbands coded.

I love Eddie lashing out at Buck and using the same words from their previous fights: “You make it all about you.” It’s some kind of a defence mechanism, so he doesn’t have to deal with his own emotions. So he focuses on others and tries to hurt them, so he can forget about his own hurt for a while. It’s a classic avoidance technic. We’ve all been there.

It’s something that Eddie has done before with Buck, so no matter what happens on 911, we can always count on Buddie continuity.

Eddie knows that Buck has been spiralling, but he didn’t know how to break through. He’s upset, so he lashes out. It’s a human thing to do. So I better not see any people talking trash about Eddie and how he is evil and abusive for hurting Buck.

I already saw a few of those bad takes on Twitter. Mainly from the BT people though. Most of them want Eddie to stay as far away from Buck as possible, for obvious reasons. With Eddie there, T doesn’t stand a chance. So it’s mainly about that. But still… such a terrible take.

Have any of you ever been in a fight with someone you love before? This is the way it goes! You lash out to hurt the other person, because you are hurting as well. Eddie has no malicious intent here. He is just frustrated with himself. He doesn’t want to go back to El Paso, he wants to be in LA. He doesn’t really want the El Paso job either. He worries that Buck will spiral out of control when he’s gone. So what does he do? In true Eddie style, he lashes out.

What follows then is an absolute masterclass of acting by Ryan Guzman. Oh my fucking god! That man can ACT! He is so good! I’ve always known he was good, because we have seen flashes of brilliance like this before, but this one took the cake. He is waaaaay up there as one of the best actors on 911. Not even kidding about this. He is sooooo good. 😌😌😌

That hidden anger and guilt and the way he grabbed Buck, his face filled with despair and rage and… so many emotions all at the same time? The tears, the bending over the table, the hand gestures and him unable to look at Buck for too long… it was brilliant.

It was helped along with the wonderful writing, direction and cinematography of the scene. Oliver and Ryan both went with it and their natural chemistry shone. It was such a great parallel to the BT scene in 8x11, in the same kitchen. The way Tommy seems to avoid the confrontation by running away every single time things get real and how Eddie stands his ground, unwilling to leave and giving back to Buck as good as he can. It was poetic cinema. And in the same exact spot in the kitchen as well.

The flashback to Eddie getting that phone call broke me in a thousand tiny pieces. The way he broke down crying and how he explained the terror of having to tell your child another loved one died. Trust me… I’ve been there. Telling your kid that someone they loved died? It is even worse than having to deal with the grief yourself. You worry and fester on how you’ll tell them and how they’ll take the news. You just want to protect them from harm and you realise you can’t. It’s a terrible feeling. I felt for Eddie in that scene.

The way Ryan just broke down in tears and his ‘He saved my life’… man, so good.

And Buck just standing there, realising that Eddie was hurting as well, but he hadn’t shown it because that is what Eddie does. Oliver’s acting here was also on point. His facial expressions when Eddie broke down were so good.

And of course his ‘If I was there, could I have made a difference?’ triggered Buck’s guilt again.

Oh these beautiful idiots. They are made for each other.

But what a great scene. I understand why Kat (journalist) said that this was her all time favourite scene in the entire series of 911. It is mine now too. Ryan Guzman, the actor that you are…

F. The morning after, when Buck walked into the living room, only to find the room empty, blankets folded with a little note on top? That was so Eddie and Shannon coded. The difference is that Eddie came back. He had always intended to come back to Buck while Shannon didn’t come back to Eddie and Chris.

Buck’s ‘jerk’! EEEE! It was sooooo good! I love how they decided to add that scene. It was perfect! It fit so well in their narrative.

Side note: how did Eddie even fit on that couch to sleep on it? It looks so much smaller than the previous couch and he is a big guy.

G. The way Buck saved that woman from her bathroom? The way he seems most at ease and happy in those kinds of situations? This makes me feel pretty sure they won’t go for Captain Buck anytime soon. The man loves those dangerous calls waaaay too much. As a Captain he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore.

H. Buck arriving home and Eddie just standing there WAITING for him!!! AAAAH! That was such a great scene. A clear call back to the ‘detour on sunset’ scene.

Again… this scene is so husbands coded. The way Eddie clearly realised that he had been an asshole to Buck the day before and when he woke up that morning he knew he had to make it up to him. So what did he do? He made sure that Buck’s favourite kid ever came back to LA!

Once again the parallel to Tommy walking out and never coming back, while Eddie -even if he does walk out- always comes back to Buck. Just… perfection.

That Buck & Chris reunion made me cry so hard! And Eddie looking on so fondly! I mean… that is a man in love you guys. I think that, on some level, he already knows it. It’s all there on his face.

Chris and Buck man! Pfffff… they look so alike when they are next to each other. It’s uncanny! The show knows this and they are using this to show us just how much this family belongs together.

Aunt Pepa!!! Complimenting Buck for his cooking in THAT kitchen, heavily implying it’s still the DIAZ KITCHEN and Buck has a spot there! Evancito!!!! Carinõ!!!! WHAT IN THE FANFIC HELL IS GOING ON IN THAT SCENE???!!!!!

And Chris looking at Eddie in the end, him looking back with that smile? This just screams domesticity and love. Eddie and Chris love Buck so much.

The way we see Buck smiling and obviously feeling so much better. Eddie knows that Buck needed to get outside of his own headspace and gain some perspective, away from his Bobby spiralling. It worked so well.

Especially that aunt Pepa talk did wonders for him. The way Buck was staring at Eddie and Chris and Pepa automatically using ‘our Eddie’ in their conversation, including Buck into their family? Perfect!

Aunt Pepa talked to Buck the way his mom should have talked to him. Telling him he should face his grief head on and own it. They are a family your honour!

Some miscellaneous stuff:

I still don’t really like the way this show redeemed Gerrard, but I do like him in this episode. He has finally understood that it’s important to respect the firefighters under his command. Bobby’s influence in action, no doubt about it. His proud look when the 118 figured out a way to bring the water to that burning building was interesting.

Spiritually? Bobby was everywhere in this episode.

That last scene with the building exploding and that piece of rock falling onto Athena’s police cruiser. That was so well done!

In conclusion:

This was such a good episode that harkened back to the 911 we all fell in love with. Even the calls and emergencies just felt right. The dentist call, the laundry call from Athena? They were all so good and wholesome! Call backs to previous people they saved as well!

It was just a really good episode. And I know that IMDB ratings don’t really mean anything, but I still love how we went from the 3.2 for the last episode to the 8.9 for this episode. Good times!

As for that trailer for 8x18?

Chimney and Athena stuck together? That will be soooo interesting to watch unfold. Sparks will fly! They can’t avoid each other now. They’ll have to work together to get out of there.

As for Buck and Ravi stuck as well? With the bts of Eddie in his white henley? Yeah, Eddie will get that phone call, realise that he is not losing anymore family (especially not his partner) and he will walk right into the fire station, ready to assist.

I’m expecting something big Buddie-related. Maybe Eddie’s realisation that his home is LA and especially Buck. Or maybe Buck realising that Tommy was right about him being in love with Eddie.

Or hell, maybe both at the same time!? What do I know!?! 🤷‍♀️

And Hen will be there coordinating and finding a way to get them all out safely. I really think she might just realise that she’ll want the job of Captain anyway.

Who knows? All I know is that we’ll have lots to talk about during hiatus!

I’ll be sat though. I’m so excited!!!