#most old stuff i've gotten

[fuckyeahscienceparty]

https://at.tumblr.com/featheredcritter/that-tumblr-post-that-i-cant-find-anymore/rt8p3gxz2uyr

Have this guys art of Medic and Engineer been here? They obviously draw some but dont tag it as such

yup! i have a few of his posts floating around here somewhere, that specific post is right here!

[eggsistential-basket]

man the struggle of going back into my old art and trying to see if i've improved or not

[keeps-ache]

ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]

[xcziel]

i seriously think maybe covid DID do something to my brain, but it was ... somehow winding back the clock to the time when i cared about music??????

cut bc of personal rambling

like i haven't listened to the radio in YEARS

i used to be all up on everything popular music as much as i could in my teens (no internet) and then in my 20s i had subscriptions to spin and alternative press and i worked in a store where i could access rolling stone or billboard at will etc.

(this is after i went through a period of being desperately poor, so like the mid 90s was just radio i had no money)

but like in the last ten, fifteen years i had just gotten ... tired of everything i heard, couldn't be bothered to look for more music really. i still lived my favorites but i hadn't added more than maybe ten songs to my library (other than cdrama tracks lol) in as many years it seems like

and then for some reason last year i started picking up the occasional new song i liked again

maybe it's having a place to live where i can play music out loud? but i lived the the same place back when i enjoyed music and dancing around the apartment and then when i didn't ...

i really don't know, but this spring/summer i have downloaded and *listened to* more music in six months than in the last twenty years probably

stuff that i *could* have heard the first time around but only now am i interested - i just don't get it.

maybe the thing about covid messing with the brain and memory storage is right and for some reason it like, cleared the cache on my music storage in my brain and now there's more room?

like i am still incredibly picky and not all listening to like *everything* but i am still enjoying it a LOT

it's just weird for me personally to hear a song and go 'oh hey i LIKE that i need to hear it again' and i find i worry that my interest will just ... turn itself off again

so far though it is SO nice

[victorluvsalice]

Valice Calendar In Honor Of 15 Years

Yeah, you read the title right -- as of 2023, I will have been shipping Victor Van Dort from Corpse Bride with Alice Liddell from American McGee’s Alice and Alice: Madness Returns for FIFTEEN YEARS. I actually went back into my old LiveJournal/Dreamwidth entries some time ago to see if I could pinpoint when the hell I actually started shipping them -- turns out it was June 22nd, 2008 when I first mentioned having shipping thoughts about them (in response to a TV Tropes binge apparently). Granted, it was in the context of “what the fuck, me, you know they’d be a terrible pairing,” but -- yeah. We see how long that attitude lasted. XD And that means that next June, it’ll be 15 years! Holy hell.

So! Given that 15 years is a bit of a milestone, I thought I’d set up a “Valice Calendar” for the next year so I know which dates I should try and acknowledge as Important Valice Dates. :) Some of these should already be familiar to my regular followers, as I’m already in the habit of doing something special for them, while the rest are from that deep dive into my journaling past:

January 27th -- the date that I posted my first Valice fic, “Suffocating,” on my LiveJournal! Which was obviously in 2009, not 2008, but still a momentous occasion! Also, conveniently, the birth date of Charles Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll.

February 14th -- Valicetine Day, obviously :)

May 4th -- the historical Alice Liddell’s birthday, and thus my Alice’s birthday!

June 9th -- Johnny Depp’s birthday, and as I have a habit of using actor birthdays if a canonical one is not given for a character, thus my Victor’s birthday! (Also, amusingly, the birth date of Michael J. Fox, and thus also my take on Marty McFly, which comes up in “Secundus.”)

June 14th -- release date of Alice: Madness Returns in North America! (According to Wikipedia, anyway, but I can confirm because I got my copy from GameStop the very next day.)

June 22nd -- as stated above, the first time I mentioned thinking about shipping Victor/Alice back in 2008! Even if I thought at the time it was also a pure crackship. XD

JULY 7TH -- Victor and Alice’s wedding anniversary! Which I picked because a) I liked the idea of a summer wedding and b) it’s easy to remember. *facepalm*

September 10th -- first mention in 2008 of me associating songs with the ship (I believe it was “Love Me Dead”); the entry indicated I’d already started associating any vaguely romantic songs with them, but this was the first time I mentioned a specific one, so we’re going with this.

September 23rd -- release date of Corpse Bride in the United States! (According to Wikipedia again, but I’m inclined to believe them.)

October 6th -- Mad Hatter Day (because of the date -- 10/6 like on his hat) and thus just a general Alice day of mention. (I’ve also seen it stated as a release date for the first game, but I’ve never been able to fully confirm that.)

October 31st -- Halloween! Not a specific Valice date, but this is the holiday that sees the biggest spike in interest in the two fandoms, sooo. . .

November 27th -- first mention of me starting to seriously think about fanfic for Valice! Seems weirdly appropriate I’d publish the first one exactly two months later. :p

December 6th -- release date of American McGee’s Alice in North America! (Again, according to Wikipedia -- as stated above, I’ve also seen October 6th cited, and November 22nd on at least one site, so -- I’m just going with this!)

December 8th -- the first time I had one of my RP Alices (”save_us_alice,” though she didn’t have her journal at the time) call one of my RP Victors (”deadgirlsliekme” -- the proper spelling had been taken!) her “boyfriend.” While I’d obviously started genuinely shipping them before that, this is the first date that I saw anything about the pairing being Official, so again, we’re going with this.

December 27th -- my birthday, which -- as the person who came up with this ship -- I feel deserves to be recognized. :p

So yeah, that’s kind of the official Valice Calendar! :D Except -- well. You guys know that a certain OT3 has become very popular around here as well, huh? So yeah, because I know me, here’s also a handful of Valicer dates --

January 8th -- the actual creation of Smiler Always, the sim that informed the look of all my human/humanoid Smilers for my AUs, and their insertion into the Chill Save.

May 31st -- the actual opening date of The Smiler roller coaster! (It was supposed to open earlier, but delays in the final construction meant that it missed the first two dates.) Meaning this is the birthday of my own Smiler!

December 27th -- yes, doubling up with my birthday, because -- well. December 26th of 2021, I watched “One Night In - Alton Towers” with my parents, which led to us looking up a bunch of the rides on YouTube so we could see what they were like. Which included one called “The Smiler,” which I found myself very intrigued by the next day. . .meaning you can trace my Smiler obsession and the eventual creation of the OT3 to me binging Smiler videos and lore posts on my birthday last year.

December 31st -- the date four days later where I realized that the “private hypnokinky AU with Victor and Alice using the coaster’s theming for private fun times” had somehow become “I have made a human Smiler, a vampire Smiler, and a robot-run-by-an-eldritch-abomination Smiler for three different AUs VICTOR WHY DO YOU WANT TO FUCK A ROLLER COASTER” XD AKA the more EXPLICIT creation date of the OT3.

Okay, that should cover just about everything. XD Next year, we celebrate Valice (and Valicer) in style! :)

[princepipper]

have you ever played BG3?

I haven't!! I'm not very good at tactical RPGs or tabletop games like DnD. I was, for a month or two, very interested in BG3 because of Astarion. He's very charming and I love Neil Newbon, he's such a fun VA!

[fingertipsmp3]

So currently my problem is that I don't know how to do my homework so I end up copying the code of people who did it correctly. But then I'm like "are my instructors going to notice and be mad" so I fuck up the code a bit so that it's less obvious. And then it breaks

[femmehepbvrn]

I think it's so much easier to be religious in a place like this

[alithographica]

As promised, welcome to

Fun biology in TOTK’s designs

I'll keep this post updated as I go through the game. I'm going to skip the more general identifiable things like apples (they're based on apples!) because there are tons of more unusual species to talk about.

Overall, the really interesting thing I've noticed is that many of the more unique Earth-based lifeforms in TOTK are super ancient, like predating dinosaurs ancient, which is a really cool tie-in to the overall time-hopping plotline of TOTK. Specifically, they're found in the new areas (caves, depths) while the surface remains a bit more normal.

(There will be no plot spoilers in this post, and also I've barely gotten into the plot because I'm spending all my time wandering, so shhh no spoilers in the tags for like a month please.)

Most recent additions: More lilies, irises, wild ginger, spiny bones, pigeon extravaganza, plus added some more real photo comparisons to old stuff.

PLANTS

Bryophytes my beloved. Bryophytes are among the earliest land plants, waaaay predating flowers and even seeds. In our world, they’re small by necessity—they lack vascular systems to help move water around like other plants, so they have to stay small and moist (hence their frequency in caves in TOTK—though they do need some light in real life.)

In TOTK they’re quite large and I think that’s very sexy and art directors should give us big bryophytes more often

Anyway, there are three types of bryophytes: mosses, liverworts, and hornworts. First image pair is a moss, second is a liverwort. Those red-brown and palm-tree-like structures, respectively, are their reproductive structures.

Real liverwort photo © Graham Calow, NatureSpotUK

Not yet spotted: Hornworts! Did they forget the third bryophyte sister :(

I think these next guys are probably lycopods (specifically club moss, which is not a true bryophyte moss, thanks science.) Very old, but vascular, so they're a bit more evolutionarily recent than bryophytes.

Real photo © Gloria Hanley Schoenholtz, virginiawildflowers

All the enormous curly-topped trees in the depths: Ferns! They curl like that until they unfurl. Another very old plant, though younger than bryophytes and lycopods.

Real photo via The Cosmonaut, Wikipedia

Brightblooms and some of the other giant plants in the depths: Possibly based on a cycad? Again, a very ancient plant lineage. At this point, evolutionarily, they've developed seeds—that giant cone in the center is called a strobilus, and that's the seed structure.

These next few plants are angiosperms, meaning they produce flowers. Angiosperms are a more recent evolutionary lineage—still many millions of years old, but it took a while to develop flowers as a reproductive tactic.

Sundelions (left) are a fun recolor of a lily. There are also some scenery lilies (right) in various places—there are yellow ones that spring up when you turn on a lightroot (which gives them literal and thematic connection to the surface) and several other varieties, including tiger lilies, throughout Hyrule. Fun note, the sundelions appear to only have 5 stamen, while other lilies in the game (correctly) have 6. Seems to be an intentional decision to make it a more distinct fantasy species.

These next ones are Peruvian lilies/Alstroemeria, just used as a scenery plant but a very fun inclusion. Fun fact, not true lilies, so they're not deadly to cats like true lilies are.

Real photo © Dick Culbert, Wikipedia

Plum trees: These are also called out as plum trees in game! There's a journal in Kakariko that refers to the plum orchards.

Okay I'm a little proud of figuring this one out. Bomb flowers blend a few botanical references. Superficially, the fruit resembles a type of seed pod called a capsule—specifically it's very similar to a poppy capsule. The little red thing in the center is a nice addition to resemble both a flower stigma (reproductive part that leads to the ovary) and a bomb fuse. Now, poppy capsules disperse their seeds via wind, but there are other plants who do explode their seeds outwards as a dispersal tactic! This is called explosive dehiscence.

There is one tree in particular called the sandbox tree, AKA monkey-no-climb or dynamite tree (yes, really.) Their capsules look more like little pumpkins, but are known for violently exploding when ripe—they can launch seeds at 150 miles per hour (250 km/h) and spread them roughly 200 feet (60 m) away. The photo comparison is a poppy capsule but you should def go look up dynamite tree videos.

Real photo © PommeGrenade, pixabay

Fire fruits (and the other elemental fruits) grow on the same generic plant that looks kind of like it has grape leaves. Fire fruits resemble a specific botanical thing too though—the black netting is a papery calyx (part of the flower) seen in a nightshade genus, Physalis (golden berries, tomatillos, etc.)

Real photo © Helene Rogers, Alamy

I think this stuff is an Asarum, AKA wild ginger. I was actually puzzling over it until I walked past some today and went HEY

Not sure of the exact species but they're very green and heart-shaped and love being dense and low to the ground.

Real photo via David Stang, Wikipedia

Irises: Love irises, one of my favorite flowers and words, very happy to see them in game.

MISCELLANEA

Cup lichen! Lichen is not a plant, but a symbiotic structure of an algae + a fungi. Cup lichen is just a type of lichen formation that has a kind of vertical cup-like structure.

Real photo via Bernard Spragg

Geology crossover! Go look carefully at some of the whiter walls in the depths—they look like they have fossils of coral and other undersea hard-structured animals in them.

ANIMALS

Sticky lizards: Based on Diplocaulus, a very early (now extinct) amphibian! Their skulls are wacky. We're not sure whether the long sides stood out separately or were smoothly connected to the body by skin flaps, but the separate arrow-like shape is the most popular rendition.

Deep firefly: Might be a stretch because it could just be a multi-winged fantasy critter, but I think the "wings" and antennae are very reminiscent of Anomalocaris, an ancient aquatic arthropod.

Update: Other folks in the notes/tags have pointed out that they're probably based on a cryptid that's especially popular in Japan: skyfish AKA rods! They show up in photos and people think they're an alien lifeform. In reality, they're an optical blur created when a lower quality video captures intermittent flaps of an insect's wings, leaving sort of a many-winged smear in the photo. Thanks to all who left info!

Little frox: Another stretch because it totally could just be a Hinox-like frog, but every time I see the little ones I can't help but think of like...Ichthyostega, Mastodonsaurus, Eryops, and other early amphibians. They were pretty hefty—little frox size or bigger—and had with little waddling legs. This is less "I think it's definitely this" and more "it makes me happy when I picture frox as primitive amphibians."

I haven't detailed many of the scenery animals around Hyrule because most are identifiable with the camera function—it'll tell you that a certain animal is a heron or porgy, for example, and those groups are real, even though the exact species is made up. But I think the pigeons are fun because they're all crested pigeons. Pink-necked green pigeons may have also been the inspiration for the color palettes on the wood and rainbow pigeons.

Both pigeon photos via JJ Harrison, Wikipedia

Spiny bones: Not a specific critter, but those spiny bones that you can find lying around Eldin Canyon are vertebrae—possibly from the same thing that left those big rib cages around? The top spike is the spinous process where muscles attach, the littler spikes on the side are the transverse and articular processes. The dark O in the center is the spinal cord.

Also I made a friend who finally recognizes my purpose in Hyrule.

That's all I've got for now! Will add more as I keep playing.

[haveateadude]

hi there! would you mind writing ellie x reader who are still in a semi-new relationship, but it's the first real relationship reader has ever been in and she's so touch starved & afraid of asking ellie for affection? you can add on whatever you'd like. thank you so much!!

touch starved

summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ you're touch starved, but ellie loves cuddling and kissing.

warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ none, just fluff :)) like, it's so sweet it makes your teeth rot so maybe that's a warning

author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ to the person who requested this, i hope u like it!!!! i tried my best :)) i haven't gotten a request since i was twelve years old and writing on wattpad, so this is kind of exciting. anyway, love youuuu, hope you're having a wonderful day!! btw sorry this is short and late, life's kicking my ass lately

Ellie and you have been dating for a while, but this doesn't mean you still don't get insecure about some stuff. You've never dated anyone, and dating her—the most perfect woman to ever exist—makes you question if you're doing the right thing sometimes. Like, is it okay if you ask for a hug? Or maybe ask for a kiss? Do people even ask that? Or do they just do it, no questions involved?

You sigh, rubbing your hands on your thighs as you look at Ellie, who's taking pictures of the field you're both having a picnic in. She has her hair up in a half bun, her hands holding the camera, slightly squinting her eyes while she's sitting on her toes. She looks beautiful as you sit next to her, and you can't help but feel a pang of anxiety in your chest.

It's not just anxiety, though. It's a deep, aching need that you can feel in your bones. You've always craved touch, even from a young age. You remember being a kid, sleeping on your childhood bed, hugging your stuffed animals, hoping someone would hug you like that—hoping your mother would come into the room and say nothing but hug you. She never came into the room, though. You would lie there for hours, loneliness your only friend.

Now you've got Ellie, but you don't know how to ask for affection. What if she calls you needy? The fear of rejection creeps through you.

Ellie snaps a picture, then looks at you. Her gaze lingers for a second before she's smiling. "You okay?"

"Yeah," you reply as she crawls over to you, "I'm just enjoying the view."

"The view is nice," she agrees, setting the camera down, then sitting next to you. She brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, a small gesture that makes your heart skip a beat. "But I like this one better."

Your breath catches in your throat, feeling like you're starved for this type of intimacy as you lean into her hand, her fingers now resting on your cheek, thumb caressing your cheekbone. You press a kiss into her hand, hoping she doesn't notice how nervous you are. Is this the right time to ask? Well—

"Can I ask you something?" you ask suddenly.

"Of course," she responds, her hand leaving your cheek to rest at your hip. "You can ask me anything."

"Is it okay if I ask for a hug? Or... a kiss?" You cringe at your words as soon as they leave your mouth. You shake your head as you force a laugh, avoiding her eyes. "It's a dumb question, sorry."

"Hey, that's not dumb," she says, taking your chin and gently making you look at her. "It's okay if you want to ask, but you don’t really have to—you can just come up to me and give me a hug. I will hug you back and I won't mind. Same thing with a kiss."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... you're doing great, you know that? With the whole relationship thing, I mean. I love you, and I love having you as my girlfriend, so if you want more, you can just say it."

You smile as she kisses your forehead. "You're the best."

Ellie chuckles, then opens her arms. "C'mere," she says. You lean into her touch as she holds you, her hand rubbing up and down your back in a soothing manner. This is the best hug you might've ever gotten. You feel as if your heart is about to burst open from all the love you're feeling now.

"I think I've always wanted this," you admit quietly, your voice muffled against her shoulder. "Ever since I was a kid, I've dreamed of being held like this."

"You're lucky you have me, then. I love holding you like this."

As you sit there in her arms, her words sink into you, and you realize that maybe asking for what you want isn't as scary as you thought it'd be. With Ellie by your side, you feel like you can handle anything. You pull away slightly and press a soft kiss to her lips, feeling the tension melt away as she kisses you back.

When you finally pull away, you see the understanding and love in Ellie's eyes, and it reassures you more than words ever could.

[noxtivagus]

I HAVE WRITTEN SO MUCH IN MY NOTES IN THE PAST HOUR OH MY of today n then to-do dump n other stuff too 🫣

[n30nwrites]

hiya neon <3

How you been ? ໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡

hope you're having a good day ~ ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Anyways, can you write something fluffy about poly!141 and male reader

Just...cuddle piles bro...hhfjsjsk

-- 🪸anon

Like Real People Do (Poly!141 x Male Reader)

Sorry this wasn't long, a lot has happened in my life lol.

I've been okay, everything is turning up.

I debated on doing more but if It did it would've turned to angst so.

You were always tired, work didn't have to be stressful and you would still be tired. You think it had to do with interacting people, just talking could make you tired.

The only thing that could make it better, were the people that greeted you at your home.

Gaz is cooking. The smell swallows you and your stomach turns, growling for the food. You can tell its Gaz simply because of the smell of seasoning, something you were still helping the other three boys on. Soap and Ghost either did Microwavable dinners or take out, and Price thought that the only seasoning he should use is salt and pepper.

He's such an old man.

Your knees ached, as did your ankles and back. It was usually hurting, but you never got it checked out, didn't consider it important too.

The solo mission lasted 3 months, you know they had each other for company and some part of you questioned if they really needed you. If they could last without you for 3 months, what's the rest of their life?

Then Soap opens the door and grabs you like his life depends on it, and all that doubt disappears. He holds you, his arms wrapped around tight and your bag of items drops to reciprocate the hug. He feels like home.

They are home.

You attempt to let go and take a step forward but he still holds on, and you kind of just awkwardly shuffle into the door.

Ghost calls out your name and announces you're home. Price comes through the door wearing your favorite pair of sweatpants (that looked so good on him) and a tanktop, Ghost is in similar wear, and you could take a guest that they just stayed home all day.

"Soap you gotta let him go at one point." Soap is buried in your chest, pushing himself further so his words come out mumbled. "What is Gaz cooking?"

"How do you know it's Gaz cooking?" Price asks.

"Cause I can smell how good it is, you left the window open." You tell him which causes Ghost to go over and shut it, locking it as well.

"He's making some rogan josh-"

"Oh god..." You moaned, most of the food you ate was dry crackers (that tasted like cardboard) and some bad lasagna. You had always loved food, that was one downfall to being the governments rat. "God I'm starving."

"Thankfully you're home just in time." Gaz comes in wearing the stupid apron you got him, it's pink and frilly, a stupid gift because that was just the tradition on Christmas. Soap had gotten you a shirt that said 'Don't Bully Me I'll Cum :(' on it, which unironically became your favorite. You got Simon a shirt that said 'I Identify as an American Patriot and this is my Pride Flag' which the Brit hated but everyone else had a great time.

"Tell me you have naan."

He did

----

You ate like you hadn't before, the dinner was delicious and it brought you all to the bedroom to rest like never before.

You laid against the pillows set up on the wall, Gaz was laying in between your legs and on your chest, Price was laying on your right side, his head resting on your shoulder as Ghost laid on the opposite with Soap on top of him, though with the way Soap was laying, he was on top of everyone. Soap was holding your hand as you rested your head on Ghost, the tv is playing a show called The Maid, it was interesting so far, you were going in and out of focus on it, more focus on your boyfriends next to you.

Eventually husbands, hopefully.

You took a glance to the side where the bedtable sat. You each got a drawer for your stuff, and in yours were five rings that took 5 paychecks to get. You were just waiting.

There would be a right time.

Soap's loud snores fill the air, and you laugh a little at how sudden it is, as does Ghost. The bed was crowded but none of you cared, it was perfect.

They were perfect.

"I love you guys." You mumble, and Price leans over to you, causing you to turn your head and kisses you. It's soft, not leading to anything and it's not holding expectations, it's warm and soft and everything to you. And when he stops, you just smile, because this was it.

[zephyrchama]

Post Masterlist

(*not currently being updated because this post won't let me add any more links. Am looking for a workaround and will hopefully update it shortly!)

Headcanons and Silly Ideas List

Groupchat without MC High Pitched Noises When the HoL is too dirty Angrily using their full titles MC and alcohol MC's schedule Mammon's Nightmare Levi's Room Password Satan and Goncharov Sneezing Solomon in Nightbringer but based on WandaVision Brothers & Long haired MC Outside their Comfort Zones Soap Cursing False Eyelashes Chin on Palm Challenge Diavolo's Events Morning Routine Fasting MC April Fool's Sleeping in the HoL's shared space Luke learns slang Different Tastes Unnoticed :D Jobs Fridge Art Hatsuharu Belphegor Fall in love again

Cursed Chips Overly Expectant Asmo Asserting Dominance Mammon's First Grimm MC and periods Reluctant Thirteen Lucifer's Portrait Mammon's Wallet Would Lucifer still love you as a worm? Welcome Home Hugs Your foot feels hot Waking Mammon Up RAD's Uniforms Confident Levi Your Favorite Song House of Lamentation MC's Phone Background Laundry Master Something on Beel's face Diavolo's Pen Pal Barbatos' purse Language (Lucifer & Mammon) Satan & non-booksmart MC

On Your Shoulder MC on a sports team Movie with Mammon Asmo's MC scarf Beel & Grated Cheese Hand Holding (Barbatos) Belphegor's wake-up call Sweaty Beelzebub Demon Sayings Hand holding is magic (Solomon) "Whatcha got there, Satan?" Necklace (Mammon & Lucifer) Lucifer Charging Station Can't be trusted in MC's house (+ Diavolo's part two) 6 o'clock (Beelzebub) Do you know where your human exchange student is? Inhuman Abilities (Luke) Barbatos' Birthday Invites

Mini Fics

From Sheep to Human Free Massage Tickets Movie Night with Diavolo and Barbatos Church Wedding Back cracking Lap Pillow (Mammon and Belphegor) Rushed April Fools Day 2024 piece (boop) Levi needs a break Is Simeon's fridge running? Paper cut (Satan) Punching Bag Going Away The Cuddle Pile Knowing Everything Water Wrinkles A New Game Hide & Seek Sunshine (Mammon, Levi, Belphegor) Late Night Activities (Lucifer) The Most Popular Book The Problem with Naps (Belphegor) Dark Past Barbatos Birthday

Ask Requests (that I've gotten to so far)

Wasp fear Vampire MC A crumb of Leviathan fluff Follow-up to MC with Periods Birthday

Info about the blog owner:

Hi! I've very recently gotten into writing and wanted to give it a chance, in vague hopes of writing an original story some day. I've been playing Obey Me! since literally the day the OG was released. I don't read much fanfic or do fandom stuff much at all, but it seemed fun and I wanted to try getting closer to the fandom. I am a hardcore cosplayer so whenever a convention is coming up this blog will get slow as I focus on sewing. I'm close to 30 years old, I'm ace which is why this blog has suggestive content but won't really get more intense than that. My asks are open but expect a really slow response because I am so shy hkgahkj. I take requests but no guarantee I'll write them, or it may take several months. Am also very open to constructive critique! Thanks for reading.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not putting a bell on my cat?

Cw for discussion of animal death and injury in vague terms.

So I live in a neighborhood with a lot of stray/outdoor cats. In fact, it's sorta that way all over the city. A few weeks ago as of writing this, I picked up a stray because I saw that it had an open wound on its neck; since it was amicable to being handled I decided to take it to the vet to be treated (and neutered, since I'd already gotten hold of it and obviously we don't need more strays.)

Recently, my cat of 15 years (we had him for 15 years, he was about 17-18 though) passed of old age, so I wasn't expecting my family to be willing to take a new cat in so soon. We even still have most of his stuff, so I figured it would be a matter of keeping the stray indoors until it was healed, then letting him go about his business. We all ended up getting attached over his two weeks of recovery though (if anyone is curious, it was a burst absess. While he was there we got him vaccinated and checked for other problems. Aside from ear mites, he was fine) so we got him a microchip, named him, and that was that.

My previous cat was also a rescue, though we picked him up from a shelter. At the time we also had a dog and a dog door, so keeping him inside would have been a logistical struggle we just... didn't care to bother with. By the time the dog passed, he'd had access to the outside for years and we saw no reason to suddenly cut him off from that. We obviously had to keep this new cat completely inside while his staples were in, but the plan was always to open up the dog door once he was healed and let him decide where he wanted to be. I don't like taking care of a litter box, my dad doesn't like the smell of cat, 3/4ths of the house is allergic (though that didn't stop us before), and this cat is much younger than our previous was, and has much more energy (vet estimated him at 6mo-1yr). At the beginning of last week (again, as of writing this) I got the go-ahead from the vet to let him outside and gladly did so. He hasn't gotten the hang of the dog door yet (our previous had the advantage of watching the dog go through to learn how to do it) but will go through open doors/windows and will return to the door or enter through the window if it's still open.

With context out of the way here comes the trouble: our neighbors. Our house is on the corner of the block and to our left is a house that takes tenants every so often. They've been here for as long as I (22m) have been alive and have been a nucance for probably longer than that. Their yard is atrocious, they planted bamboo that grew under the fence and into our property, and the woman who owns the house (presumably. Her husband might but I've never spoken to him) apparently has some moral issue with outdoor cats.

Sometime into owning our previous cat, she suddenly became very concerned with the bird population and insisted that we collar our cat and get him a bell so that he wouldn't catch birds. I'd like to point three things out: 1) our previous cat only had one eye, 2) we had tried to collar him before and he lost every single one so we gave up (breakaway collars so he didn't choke, 3) he caught birds despite both of these facts. Needless to say, I was not fucking thrilled about unsolicited advice from a woman I'd never spoken to, who let her unmitigated mess of invasive plants invade my garden, but whatever. She spoke to my little (10yro) sister about it at the time, only once, and never to me, so it wasn't an issue.

So I let this new cat out, right? I opened the dog door for him and he waltzed right on out, but I wasn't convinced he really knew how to operate it. About an hour or so without hearing him come in, I head through the back door to look for him. I got him from a different neighborhood, across town, while visiting a friend, so I figured I was allowed to be a little worried about him getting lost or overwhelmed. As soon as I step out onto the porch, the neighbor-lady calls over and asks me if my cat got out or I let it out.

I tell her I let him out. She asks me to put a bell on him. In an attempt to remain civil I ask her why. She says something about it being stupid, I ask her why it's stupid, she says cats eat birds and the bird populations are declining. I instantly want to call bull on cats being a leading reason of bird population decline, but I just tell her that I'll have to look that up, and ask her if she saw which way he went. (I'd like my restraint during this interaction noted, thanks.)

Anyway I don't find the cat but I get a good few patrols around the block, and eventually he comes back to the house sometime in the late-night early-morning. He does not use the dog door and waits for me to open the door instead (back door is on the way to the bathroom, I saw his stupid little face pressed against the glass when i went to piss).

I look up bird population decline articles. Most of them mention cats as a factor, along with clear windows. Primary factors are listed as deforestation and invasive species, pesticides, etc. I don't consider getting my cat a collar because I don't appreciate my neighbors input, especially when she's going to be hypocritical and ignore that planting native species may help bird population more than putting out fifty fucking feeders and complaining that the stray cats see her yard as a buffet. Anyway.

I let him out again yesterday, this time through the window in my room, which leads to the back porch. I felt comfortable leaving it open since I work at my desk and would hear if anything not-cat came inside. (Allergies were a problem, but I'd really rather he have a way to get inside if he wanted/needed, and he STILL will not open the dog door on his own. Obviously I'm not helping by continuing to give him alternatives but I am soft-hearted.) Sometime in the evening my dad comes in and tells me that when the cat next comes back, I should keep him inside because "The neighbor lady is being a bitch and I don't want to deal with it." I assume she said something to him, so I agree and when the cat comes in for the night I close the window.

This morning I saw what had ACTUALLY got him.in a twist, because not only did she say something but she printed out and taped a note to our door. Oh, how I would love to send a picture of it here, but I don't know how to embed photos in asks so you'll just have to deal with my transcription:

CAT FACTS

Cats kill birds. Cars kill cats.

Here's some links to look up.

[I won't type the links out. First one is an article titled "how long do outdoor cats live indoor vs outdoor cats" and the second is "faq cats and their effects on birds". I have not read either of these.]

Ask Kelly about Dixie. Ask Jean about Madeline - wait don't - she ran over her with her own car and broke her pelvis because the cat was older and couldn't hear well.

You have a very beautiful young cat. He deserves a safe loving home. Act like you care for your cat or give him to a home that will. I have four indoor cats - three are orange boys. I have a soft spot for orange boy cats. They are very happy as inside cats.

Be responsible.

[Handwritten at the bottom:]

Your cat is sleeping in my backyard. Why are you forcing him to be an outdoor cat!?

[End]

The amount of violent rage this fills me with is unreal. Kelly is our across-the-road neighbor, I assume Jean is another neighbor (I'm bad with names) and I CANNOT imagine that either of them appreciate being. Used like this. Also, I'm very glad her cats are happy indoors but this cat is not, he wants to go outside, he has been crowding the window all morning waiting for me to open it. (I respect me father so I won't, but I disrespect my neighbor so I really, REALLY fucking want to.)

So AITA for disregarding the safety/happiness of my cat and the decline of the bird population by not putting a collar on him and heartlessly forcing him outside? I'm no further inclined to force him indoors or get a collar, especially with her continued insistence, and in fact I'm so far making an active effort to restrain myself from going over and talking to her because I just want to turn it into an argument.

[rafesgfs]

Strauss asking reader into her office to talk about the tiktoks reader made about Hotch? 🤭

You haven't even greeted the team before Strauss sends you an email, asking you to meet her in her office as soon as you get in. You can't help but feel annoyed at the message, dropping your stuff off in a huff on your desk.

When you knock on her opened door, you see Aaron sitting in one of the chairs across from her, eyebrows raised when he sees you enter. "You wanted to see me?"

Strauss nodded, gesturing to you to come inside. As you shut the door behind you, she continued. "I wanted to talk to you and Agent Hotchner about a few videos you posted that are questionable."

Immediately you know what she's talking about. Glancing at Aaron with fear in your eyes, you saw his lips twitching, fighting back a smile. You don't know whether to be embarrassed and mortified or annoyed he isn't as worried as you.

Clearing your throat, you turned back to your boss's boss, slowly sitting down in the chair next to Aaron. "What videos?"

You see Aaron cover his lips with his hand when Strauss pulls out her laptop, a video you made from your TikTok account on the screen. Without a single word, she hits play and Umbrella fills the office as you lip sync to it with Aaron in the background looking up after a second and a smile forming on his face.

In the caption you've written, "When he's a 6'2", 45-year-old criminal profiler in a suit and tie." while lip-syncing the "Come into me" part of Rihanna's song. When the video ends, you look over at Aaron and see he's expressionless. You start to panic.

"Oh ... That one. I see." you said, inwardly slapping yourself for the answer. Strauss

raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"There's more," Strauss replied, ignoring your question as she clicks on another video.

You can't help but cringe as the sound plays very loudly. When the video finishes, she raises an eyebrow. "Now what did you mean when you said 'catch me on that dick tryna ride like a rodeo' with a picture of Agent Hotchner?”

You can't help the awkward laugh that escapes you because despite not knowing if you're in trouble or not, Strauss saying dick made you giggle. "Technically, I didn't say it. It was the song."

"You wrote it in the caption, didn't you?"

“. .. Yeah."

Silence fills the room and before you can ask, she pulls up a video of you filming

Aaron-who was well aware of the video, by the way, with the caption "Him in a beard >>" and the sound of dogs barking as the audio. You hear a nearly inaudible laugh from the man sitting next to you but you don't dare look.

Strauss clicks on another TikTok, but instead of a video, it was photos in a slideshow. You had to bite your tongue when the "Get destroyed or get destroyed" caption showed up along with a picture of Aaron with his tie undone. This was truly the weirdest, most embarrassing, and funniest shit you've gotten in trouble for.

When Strauss doesn't continue showing you videos you made about how hot your boss is—there's so much more, so much that someone might think you're dating—you meet her eyes and give her an apologizing look. "I'm sorry, I didn't know this was against policy."

"It's not," Aaron answers, speaking for the first time since you entered the room. "What did you want to talk to us about, Erin?"

She sighed, closing her laptop. "Aaron, I've told you before, there's no reason to hide this relationship. It's better to tell me what's going on other than have someone else find out and have another sexual harassment meeting again."

"Oh, he and I aren't—" you start to say, gesturing between you and Aaron.

"No, but you'd like to be." Strauss cuts you off, eyes narrowing at Aaron. “There's no policy against coworkers dating but there are rules if you start dating your subordinate."

Aaron nods, glancing briefly at you before speaking. "And what are those rules?"

"You must BCC your emails to each other to someone in HR, and complete the sexual harassment training segment again," she responded.

"Alright," Aaron replies, nodding once again.

You're dumbfounded when she dismisses the both of you, eyes flickering back to Aaron as you walk out of her office. Once you're back at your desk, you turned to him. "Well that was embarrassing.

He snorted. "Not as embarrassing as Bob from HR will be when he reads our emails."

You blinked. "What?"

Aaron smiled, slowly backing up from your desk as he made his way to his office. "We'll have to BCC him in our chats, honey."

[naamahdarling]

Years and years ago I was at a Walmart in the middle of the night and a couple had almost gotten through checking out an enormous cart of baby stuff when the computer system crashed and they had to go to the back of the long long line I was already in and they looked so tired at the idea of doing it all again. I turned around and saw that they had the baby WITH THEM.

No no no I was not having that.

I called them up and insisted they take my place in line so they could get home. They were so relieved I thought the mom might cry. I stayed there to talk to them as a buffer between them and the people behind us in case anyone got kind of mad that my two items had turned into like 50, but nobody did.

I was dumbfounded when the mother full-on handed me the baby to hold. Like "There is no other way to show gratitude so I will give you a few minutes of holding the most precious thing in the world to me." The baby was very new? I know nothing about babies, I've held maybe 5. But I remember the mom telling me how old the baby was and me thinking someone shouldn't have to be up and around so super soon after giving birth, so probably only a couple of weeks old. And the baby was so, so sleepy and so small, not crying, just nodding off, and she was so incredibly perfect in every way. I was holding a whole-ass human being I had never met and she was asleep and not even looking at me, but I was looking at her? Wild. Then they were done and I gave the baby back and wished them well and moved to the back of the line and that was that.

And I say all this not because I did a good thing and want to be told I am good or whatever, I think lots of people would have done the same if they had noticed this happening, but because I think about that baby so often. At least once a month. I don't know why.

And I have spent most of the time since then trying but unable to remember her name. Tonight I finally remembered it, and I just really really hope Dakota Riley is doing okay.

It's weird what sticks with you. It really really is.