#most of these clips are mine but some aren’t so if u want me to take this down please let me know

[dontcrybecauseitsoverr]

update

Im about to graduate omggg, as usual, no one knows about this tumblr in my life, so that’s cool. Kaylee can know idc lol. But, somethings in  my life just don’t add up. I have a gf who I do love, and adore and all of this, but man our communication sucks, on her end, she just doesn’t text me or snap me for hours sometimes… for no reason lol, but snap score goes up but she doesn’t reply? Hurts a bit, I don’t feel like a priority in her life, she isn’t open with me about things, I have to fight to get answers out of her, and she just doesn’t tell me stuff. We’ve been dating for 5 months! Like what! Lol! I just don’t get it.so like what do i do...were not going to see each other for the entire summer. this is my longest relationship, as yall know they dont go too hot lololol. so many posts on here about gf’s and shit, i would be ruined if anyone found this, but this name is not associated to anything else of mine, unless someone like reverse searched the image, who knows. this is just my thoughts as they are thought of on paper, im sitting here listening to taylor swift, deciding about big things in my life. im going to maine for the summer month and a half or so, either i can have all the sex up there with my ex, a threesome, my bff cas who ive all fucked before lol, so thats funny. BUT, 3 months without her :L i wont even be able to see her at allll her dads a dick. i swear to god if we aren’t able to FT like 1-2 times a week, that is really gonna take a hit. theres no reason to not be able to ft me with airpods in, and all this shit, like come onnnnn do u really not want to talk to me. i just feel like this is going to end up in a text break up, i really dont want it. but shes stuck with me and my quirks and issues for 5 months! thats a long time! so who knows, i want it to work but it just may get so unberable at some point, im gona talk with her tho at least. also i just was reading up about how the brain processes near death experiences, and how wack the gamma rays are or something. and i recalled the time in senior year, when my friend was driving and making a turn into school across a busy road. (two years later a family of 4 got killed in the crash, actually by someone i knew in the dmv auto club, he went to jail, my friends and i did the math on the car crash - guy was going 125 mph when he hit them. 1 girl survived out of the family of 4. terrible) but, a car was really going fast coming towards us, and i thought it was gonna clip us, and i was in the backseat, i swear i had a marvel intro style play in front of my eyes, just flashing through life events, i couldnt even see the car coming per say, just the images that i cared about most in my life. and then we passed...and it was like nothing happened. this got off topic, but so do all my other posts. i just dont know what to do. she failed out of her student teaching this semester, and i felt i was at cause, but i dont think so. she said her mom was very upset with her, after the school stuff, and failing the driving test. but all she does all day is sit and watch tvvvvvv mannnnnn, ive tried so hard to get her to do things, and be productive and get her out of the dorm because i know what that life is like, failing out, and having no prospect, because ive been there so many times. ive been to 4 colleges! and she just doesn’t want to involve me, or just seems like she cares about me. i want it to work, i mean god, what breaking up for a month and a half just for a crazy sex summer? seems like an issue to meee lolol. not really looking forward to maine, but gotta do whatcha gotta do. fucking hell i graduate in 10 days what the hell its taken so many years im just numb to it i feel, everyone else cares way more than i do, and its gonna be a shame to try and express happiness and joy when im more just like thank god lol. anyway thats my late night talk i guess, lol goodnight?

[failedthetopikexam]

My Top Korean Resources [2020 edition]

I have been discussing resources with a few people on private message and have been thinking a bit about what resources were the best on my journey.... so here’s my final (maybe) compilation of resources for the year that will hopefully be helpful for anyone who is looking at resources between the beginners and upper intermediate levels.

NB. This list is based off materials I have used in the past and is not an exhaustive list of ALL the resources I have used - it is just a selection of some of my favourite. There are so many Korean resources out there so there might be some that work more for you that I haven’t even looked at.

Course Texts

In my opinion, the perfect course text isn’t going to teach you everything you need to know, but a good course text will at least give you a clear framework to chunk up and guide your studies. I have used a few but the most user friendly one is definitely:

Talk To Me In Korean - they set things out clearly so nothing feels overwhelming and provide a sensible framework to follow for self-study. Other course books tend to be better suited for in-class settings and not great for self-study.

Grammar

The course texts will teach you about grammar but I think they don’t teach you how the grammar structures are related to each other. So I think it is key to look at one or more of these books:

Korean Grammar In Use: Beginners

Korean Grammar In Use: Intermediate

The above series is incredible and a serious MUST for all Korean learners. They clearly and concisely set out the grammar points and show how they are all related to each other. There is an Advanced book as well which I have yet to use and will teach quite complex structures.

Basic Korean: A Grammar and Workbook (I have linked the forthcoming version being released in Dec 2020!)

Intermediate Korean: A Grammar and Workbook

The above Routledge series is great for its workbook feature. The layout is a little academic so it’s not super appealing but the way they explain grammar is clear and relatively detailed. The number of examples included in the workbook is fantastic, providing a lot of opportunity to practice. I haven’t used the Basic book but if it is anything like the Intermediate, it will be a winner.

Vocabulary

The part that people often miss out when learning Korean is vocabulary, because it can be so easy to just follow course texts and grammar books, but those will never teach enough words. To learn more vocab, it is really important to read around. There are so many Korean language books that you can pick up, but here are some books and resources that are catered specifically for language learners that I have loved:

Korean Culture in 100 Keywords - they give a paragraph on different cultural aspects of Korea in both Korean and English and highlight all the new vocabulary for you. The texts are graded from easy to more difficult.

News in Korean - lots of short news stories with translations in English and comprehension questions. Might be targeted more at intermediate learners

Mind Map TOPIK VOCA 2300 - this book sorts vocabulary into categories and shows them as mindmaps. It also gives readers sentences in context and has mini quizzes, HOWEVER it is written in 98% Korean so this is a book that is definitely more pitched at upper intermediate levels and above and teaches vocabulary that is a little less common 

Anki - my most used resource. Everyone has their own favourite for flashcards and this is mine. Anki do spaced repetition meaning that it will constantly test your knowledge on vocabulary, spacing the quizzes/tests depending on how difficult you find the word. It is more efficient than other flashcard platforms, but it is a little tricky to get started and create your own cards. If you want to download pre-made decks, you can, but this works best when you add the words you have learned yourself so that you get decks that are full of vocab that is relevant for you

Beelinguapp - This is an app that has some story books written in both Korean and English. It also has an audio function so you can listen to someone reading the stories in Korean. This is neat for pronunciation and listening, and also identifying new words, however the range of stories are limited.

Gloss - Gloss have a set of online lessons pitched at different levels which takes you through articles or texts (or audio and video), then asks a lot of comprehension questions. It follows a lesson format so it is far more engaging than your regular book, however it is a little on the difficult side.

[EXTRA] Your First Hanja Guide - you might not want to learn vocabulary this way and it is absolutely NOT an essential, but for me it is helpful to visualise the Hanja character when seeing the relationship between words, so if you like learning words like that, then this is the book for you

Listening / Watching

Like with reading, there are multiple resources that you can use to listen to native Korean, but here are some that are specifically targeted at learners

여보세요 - this app/website has a few short video clips and goes through slowly to examine the meaning and new words, then has a number of test quizzes through multiple choice or through speaking (via microphone). There are different clips graded by levels and the app tracks your progress and gives progress reports.

Real Life Korean Conversations: Beginners / Intermediate - this IS a book, but it is best used in conjunction with the audio files. The book gives the script, as well as the vocabulary, and also looks at key grammar points and structures used in the conversations

Speaking

There aren’t many resources that I find great for self-studying speaking - generally you need someone else to do that with you, but here is one that I thought was quite neat:

Teuida - I just did a very quick run through this app as it is definitely pitched at beginners, but I thought that it was a smart way of learning some basic conversational Korean. It teaches you phrases and you have to repeat them back through the microphone feedback function. Then to test your retention, they take you through a mock situation and you have to speak your answers - there is quite a strong focus on getting pronunciation correct. My biggest downsides of this app are that the free sections are really limited, AND they seem to have geared the lessons towards the idea of dating, which I just find so awkward and embarrassing hahaha!

Writing

I’m in the market to buy some writing books and have my eye on some but am waiting until I have the time to work on them, but this book is quite neat for learning different sentence structures and how to construct meaningful answers:

Korean Q&A Sentence Patterns - this book poses a question and looks at different ways of answering it. It also shows variations of the question, then examines form. It gives an example long answer and prompts you to think about how to construct your own response using the grammar and vocabulary given

[kanmom51]

I wouldn’t say that JK was uncomfortable in that clip but he did look like he wasn’t in the mood to me & that’s ok imo !!! lol I’m a hardcore Kookmin lover and that’s what I saw in his face. Everyone can see and interpret different things. Couples or people that are super close with each other are allowed to be annoyed with each other every once and a while.

I’m a firm believer that small instances like that don’t disprove anything for me as much as the super close moments they have-often might I add- don’t necessarily prove anything for some other people.

I, for one, still think they have a really close relationship that goes beyond just friendship & a 1 second clip of Jungkook looking like he wanted to say ‘Really Jimin??, we’re doing this right here and now???’ does not mean that they aren’t close or that Jungkook is ‘uncomfortable’ with Jimin touching him or being close to him. Now THAT narrative is absolute bullshit.

I have received many asks like this or similar to this or just all up about JK's reactions, so I will answer them all in one ask, because I don't want to repeat myself. These are the asks I received (all your voices will be heard):

Ask2:

u cant blame people for thinking jk is not comfortable with jimin because everytime jm does something with him he looks annoyed as hell

ask 3:

Look I've been a supporter since 2017 and Jikook has never once made me cringe or feel awkward. JK has literally almost kissed JM and brushed lips with him and just smiled and never looked awkward. Whatever is happening with Jikook the last several months JK looks stiff and odd anytime JM interacts with him. If he is with JM, then they need to have a talk, cause All I've seen all day long is people calling JM an assaulter and homewrecker and they all say its because of JKs reactions every time.

Ask 4:

If they are broke up, JM needs to learn boundaries. If they aren't, then JM needs to have a long serious talk with JK, cause new army's coming in are already convinced JM makes JK uncomfortable. JK shouldn't have to change to please others, but if JM is his boyfriend, he needs to stop acting repulsed or annoyed or stone faced when JM touches him, cause people feed off his reactions. He fuels it. It really looks like he doesn't want JM touching him if thats the case he needs to leave JM alone too

Ask 5:

JM has looked like an extremely clingy boyfriend lately and usually I love that, I love it even more when its JK being bold and clingy, but the last several months JK's reactions make me cringe for JM. I definitely think JM is over the separation shit, the way RM rolls his eyes or they have to lie and he's probably over everyone shipping his boyfriend with his best friend, but JK isn't going a long with his boldness cause he probably is worried. I just hope this doesn't cause them more problems.

Ask 6:

Either they broke up or JK has become more private about their relationship, because there is no more excuses for JK's reactions toward JM anymore. He KNOWS JM is being hated on every single time they interact, esp here lately and he is doing NOTHING to change the narrative. Therefore its either cause they really aren't together and JK really is uncomfortable or the company told them to tone it down and JK's worried and stiffens up around JM. Its not funny anymore JM is getting formal complaints

Ask 7:

I'm tired of jikook interacting thing when it's only jimin interacting with jungkook and jungkook looks like he's in a funeral. I believe jm likes him but the narratives y'all create about jungkook are so different from his actual reactions and everyone can see that and it's the only reason jimin gets so much hate.

Ask 8:

JM deserves someone who treats him equally. Its clear JK has tapped out of whatever they have and JM isn't letting go. 2017, 2018, 2019 JK would not treat JM this way. In fact, it seemed like JK was ready to tell the world he was dating JM. His boldness in front of cameras, then. He never shunned/made JM look bad. If I did not know Jikook's relationship, I would think JM was an aggressor who makes JK uncomfortable cause that is how it reads no matter how hard we defend it. JK doesn't deserve JM.

Ask 9:

i cried so much today, honestly fuck jungkook. i hope jimin realizes how their "interactions" look on camera and sticks to his word of not even talking to him

ask 10:

JM is telling us one thing, JK is telling us another. Every time something happens with Jikook, its usually because of JM and JK looks uncomfortable, then JK will wear green & purple. JM leans on JK butter pic, JK wears green & purple shirt next day. JM trying to have moments with JK at muster, net day, JK wears purple & green earrings. I'm guessing JK will wear purple & green together soon again. JM deserves better, cause that's not cool if JK is his boyfriend and its not cool of JM if Jk's not

Ask 11:

It's not the same anymore with Jikook and Jk is the main reason. His actions towards Jimin is why its hard to continue defending Jikook. If they're together, then JK needs to treat him better period. I'm not saying he has to kiss his boyfriend in public or shout he's mine, but stop flinching, cringing and sitting there with a pissed look when he interacts if he's your boyfriend. If he's not, set boundaries and leave JM alone and stop leading him on. I'm scared for JM. BH might let him go.

Ask 12:

Genuine Q, why does everyone say jungkook is clingy with jimin? Even always behind the scenes is jimin clinging to him, looking for the tiniest way to interact with him and jungkook is always a passive receptor of all his affections. I like them together but seeing so many people say things I have never seen makes me confused and it's frustrating. Even lee hyun hugged jimin today more friendly than jungkook ever has. ANd I don't mean a 'backhug'.

Ask 13:

If he's going to be fond of JM, I'd rather he show it rather than leave JM out to dry.

So, here we go.

First thing I have to say is, please everyone take a big breath, let it out and lets start talking here.

I will start by saying that neither JK nor JM ow us a thing!! JK doesn't have to prove to us he likes or loves or wants JM, and visa versa.

If they choose to show us, every once in a while, it's their prerogative, not our right.

So, if JK loves JM, if they are in a relationship, it's JM he has to show he loves him, not us.

Where were all of you when JK was practically forcing his arms around JM to hug him after the recording of the Black swan performance? JM clearly didn't seem pleased at that moment. Were you discecting his reaction then? Either way, if your answer to the question is yes or no, you need to stop for a second and think why you were.

Moving on.

JK is not impassive to JM. JK is not hating what JM does. JK is being JK.

I have said this soooo many times before. JK in control of a situation is not the same JK caught off guard or surprised.

When JK is caught off guard he goes into a panic mode of sorts. Many times it looks like a total shut down. Freeze mode, if you wish to call it that. Resting bitch face is also good here.

When JK is in control of a situation he is happy, he is bold, he, in his mind, knows what he’s doing, where he is taking things and f**k the consequences, as far as he is concerned (at least for that split second he decides to do his crazy).

When JK is not in control and caught off guard he loses it. This is a shy introvert that suffers from anxiety. Please don’t let his stage persona confuse you.

JK isn’t uncomfortable with JM. He loves him. And even if you don’t believe they are a couple, I’m sorry, but that is something no one can deny, JK’s love for JM.

JK is an adult, he can be pretty assertive when he wants to. Yes, there is the age hierarchy, but he has shown us on more than one occasion that if he doesn’t want someone to hug him or touch him, he will push them off. We need to understand this. If JK didn’t want JM to touch him, he would push him off. If JK didn’t want JM to jump on him, he wouldn’t have caught him, it’s not like JM would have fallen on the ground. Do I have to remind just how many times JK has lifted JM and loved every single time he has done it.

But you ask, why a big smile on his face then and not this time?

Again, he knew what was coming then, he had control over the situation. He wasn’t caught off guard.

That’s JK, that’s who he is, and you cannot expect him to change who he is, how he reacts, how his face looks just because it doesn’t look good on camera to you, just because fans will dissect it to pieces and then go all nasty and turn it against the one person he loves most.

You can’t turn it on him.

It’s on the fans that as far as I am concerned shouldn’t be even called fans. The haters that instead of loving BTS and all their members are busy trying to break them down.

I will say this both to JM and JK stans:

Those are your bias, each one of them. And you bias loves the other one, JK loves JM and JM loves JK (no matter the level of love, friend, boyfriend, partner, they love each other).

You claim to love them, so how can you point so much anger and hate towards the one person they love so much????

If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say it. Because, saying something bad about the one your bias loves, well, don’t you think it would hurt them too???

Your bias, the person you claim to admire, care for, support, he chose to love this other person. Why don’t you give him some credit that he knows what he’s doing? That if that other person was treating him badly, he would no longer be with him, no longer gravitate towards him. No one is forcing him to always, always, be by his side, rub his neck, hug him, talk about him (always positive things, at that, unless it’s giving us information we didn’t really need to know about the other, like how long they shower, how loud they snore, who they were with at 4 am etc.).

PLEASE give your bias the well deserved credit that he knows what his wants and needs are. If JM didn’t want to be with JK, if he felt his needs weren’t being met, he wouldn’t be with him. Same said about JK.

They know how to disconnect, how to distance themselves and still stay professional, and yet, they choose to be at each other's side. That should say something to you.

So, my suggestion to you is to just leave them alone. Yes, I said it.

Let them be who they want to be. We cannot impose our needs for JK to show TKK’s he likes it when JM goes on the way he does on JK. He is who he is. If JM is unhappy with it, well he won’t put up with it, believe me. He is not a damsel in distress and doesn’t need the fans to save him from mean ole’ JK. JM is a strong ass man, I’ve said this many times before. He can take care of himself, and believe me, if he had a problem with JK’s reaction, the boy knows how to deal with it without fans coming to his rescue.

Fans need to stop inserting themselves into these young men’s lives. We are spectators, no more no less.

If you can enjoy them while understanding that, great. If not, well maybe the right thing is to take a breath, re-evaluate things and then come back.

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] Chenle & Jisung’s interview with ELLE June 2020 issue!

It's the first time for Chenle and Jisung to do a magazine shoot together. Both of you seemed to have given your fans spoilers ahead of the shoot. Jisung: Really, the time went by so fast. Rather than a shoot, it felt more like I was just playing around with Chenle. Chenle: <ELLE> is a magazine known by many people. I've known it since long-ago too. So I was even more excited about the shoot. Jisung: Me too! Ah, but how old is <ELLE>? 28th anniversary this year? Wow...

We are much older than you two, aren't we? Is this year your 5th summer together? Jisung: We've known each other since 2016, so yes, that's right. Chenle: We should stop seeing each other (laughs).

Although you get along as friends [same-aged friends], Chenle is in fact born in November 2001. He is one year older than Jisung who was born in February 2002. What was the reason to become friends [to drop formalities]? Chenle: Our birthdays are only two and a half months apart, and since we get along so well, I felt like there was no need for formalities [a hyung/dongsaeng relationship]. Of course, I regret having made that decision now. I mean it. (laughs). Jisung: I jokingly said, "Can't we just be friends?" but he took it seriously. Thanks to this, we can now comfortably talk with each other like this. Chenle: It's definitely more comfortable. In Shanghai, where I grew up, we don't mind much if there's a one or two year difference. And since the NCT team has a lot of members from overseas, the atmosphere is a bit more open. 

Still, it must have felt weird to see your friend Chenle become a legal adult a year earlier than you. Jisung: I've seen the older members of NCT DREAM become adults one after another so I felt relatively indifferent. It's not like people suddenly change when they turn 20 years old. But, since we all debuted as teenagers, it is kinda weird that I'm the only minor left now.

How did the YouTube content 'ChenJi's This and That', that you two do together, start? Jisung calls it 'JiChen's That and This'. Jisung: Thank you for acknowledging it (laughs). It started from the thought that it would be great to make content that uses the advantage of us two who are like real friends. We make gifts for the members, stack dominoes, and also make menus that are popular on SNS Chenle: Although we also bring up ideas here and there, the staff ideas are always more fun. Ah, it was our idea to visit my home in Shanghai.

Chenle went to a lot of rides alone at the amusement park right. Chenle: He says he is too scared to go on rides that are hard, but thinks rides that are easy are lame. Isn't it really funny? Jisung: The easy ones don't look cool (laughs).

You just finished the promotions of your 4th mini album <Reload>. You have achieved many good results such as ranking first in the domestic music chart and music shows, ranking first on iTunes in 51 countries, and selling over 500k albums. How do you feel looking back? Jisung: I always have regrets whenever we finish promotions. Even though I have worked hard and had fun, when I look back, I feel like I could do better? Chenle: I'm completely the opposite. When the album promotions finish, I think 'It was really fun this time again, I'm satisfied!' I think especially for 'Ridin'' the stage was very exciting, and it was even better because I had fun with the members.

'Beyond Live', a live-streamed concert and video call fan signings are promotions that were not imaginable last year. Jisung: I'm glad that we can do something, but it's a shame we can't meet the fans in person. Chenle: It was a new and very exciting experience. Although it was through a video, you could clearly hear the voices and see the faces of the fans like this.

You also performed solo stages on ‘Beyond Live’ Chenle: I prepared our song 'Best Friend' on the piano, but the staff made the stage really cool. On the stage the moon was floating over the sea, it was very pretty and I'm really grateful and satisfied Jisung: I danced but I don't think it was to the extent of 'Awesome~ I did a great job!'.

With you two being the youngest out of NCT’s teenage team NCT DREAM, your growth is bound to be the most impactful. You must be surprised when you watch videos of when you just debuted. Chenle: Actually, as soon as we met today, Jisung had watched an old video of mine and said 'You were so cute back then but why are you like this now?'. Jisung: It was videos of him during promotion interviews for our debut song 'Chewing Gum' and 'My First and Last', and he was so cute. It was also when Chenle hadn't been in Korea for that long yet so he was still bad at speaking. Chenle: I couldn't watch the videos at that time. Still, when I look at the other members, I think everyone was so young and cute.

I heard that Jisung played a significant role in the fast improvement of Chenle's Korean. Jisung: Yes I was Chenle: I admit he helped. Although it's a problem that my weird Korean skills are also improving (laughs).

You have done TV shows and stood on stages before debuting at 15 and 16 years old. When did you feel like this is something you're good at and wanted to do something music-related? Chenle: I love to sing, so I released my first album when I was 7 years old. However, at that time, I thought it was a hobby and an experience rather than thinking of wanting to be a singer. After coming to Korea, I knew for certain that this was the path I wanted to take. Jisung: Rather than realizing it at some point, I think the expression 'right now' is right. While watching sunbaes at SM, my desire to be like that grew and I've come here doing what I wanted to do.

For broadcasts or special stages, Jisung has danced with the hyungs of SM's 'Dance Line' such as Super Junior Eunhyuck, SHINee Taemin, and EXO Kai. Jisung: They are really good at dancing and have a lot of experience on stage so it's really helpful when they watch me dance and talk to me [about it]. It felt like I was taking years of dance lessons all at once. Chenle: For me, I learn quickly thanks to Jisung. These days, Jisung is working hard on learning how to sing so I try to help a little too. I would say things like "I think this would be better?'. Jisung: Don't you tease me when I sing though. Chenle: Me? No, not me.

What song would you like to perform if you were to do an NCT stage together? Chenle: Since there are two of us, how about NCT U's 'Baby Don't Stop'? that Taeyong and Ten hyung did together. Jisung: Uhm, that's kind of a sexy song, don't you think we should do that in a few years? For me, I would like to do NCT U's 'Without You'. I think it's a good song to sing for us together.

NCT DREAM members have often said they still lack the skills and think they can do better. Where does that ambition come from? Chenle: There are times when I feel like I'm not good enough when I watch a video clip [of myself]. Other people might not see a big difference, but I do. In that case, I really concentrate and work hard. Jisung: I think everyone has that kind of desire because we debuted at a young age. When I watch the stage of the sunbaes, I feel like that even more.

How does it feel to be the youngest in a big group called NCT? Chenle: It's so good! Originally, I'm the type to prefer when it’s crowded. It's also fun to chat and play together when we practice. Jisung: I don't have a lot of friends from school. [NCT] is like a replacement for those relationships so I feel reassured. It feels like I have a bunch of people or hyungs who are close to me. Though the dinner costs are enormous (laughs).

What's the reason that two people with different personalities can be good friends and teammates? Jisung: Oh, now that I think about it it's really interesting. We're really the opposite Chenle: I think we get along so well because we are so different. The thing we have in common the most is that we like to play around with each other? And we're the noisiest. My voice is loud and Jisung talks a lot. A while ago he was talking to himself in the car while watching the night view. It's really funny to see it from the side Jisung: If you say it like that it makes me seem kinda weird, doesn't it? (laughs) I love to fantasize. What would I say if I were to go on a program like that? I think I was playing around while thinking about those kinds of things.

Are there any aspects of your friend that you want to be more known? Jisung: There are a lot of people who think of Chenle as a bright mischievous boy with a lot of laughter, but he also has a lot of serious conversations with me. He also has a lot of ambition. Unlike the introverted me, he is cool and outgoing so I learn a lot of things through Chenle. He is much cooler than he looks. Chenle: I'm a chic person (laughs). Jisung is the type of person who worries a lot about himself, and he is also evenly worried about the members' concerns. After taking care of this and that he proudly says 'Ah, why do I look like a leader'.

There are many adults and role models around you. Since you achieved your dream of debuting early, you must be worried about growing up well. Chenle: Instead of following someone with the burden of having to grow, I want to grow up naturally while keeping what I want to protect. I can learn good things and keep regretful things to consult, but I think my own standards are important. Jisung: When I first made my debut, I wanted to be a good adult and a good influence, and I still feel the same now. Sometimes I feel sorry for someone's behavior or words, but I don’t think that anyone can be perfect. Regardless, I try to absorb the good and positive aspects only.

When do you feel like you've grown? Jisung: When I have serious conversations with Chenle and the hyungs. The spectrum of the conversations has widened. I also think I have grown when I'm able to objectively look at myself without being too biased. Chenle: When you're going through puberty, you don't know that you're going through puberty. If you think you're grown up, I think it's because you're still young. I think you've grown up when you can admit to your shortcomings and immaturity.

How will the summer be for you this time? Chenle: First of all, Jisung will have 6 ice creams all at once. Jisung: (Back then) I had them throughout the day!

Translation: Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: ELLE Scans — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

[hayjeon]

Practical Tips on getting your fics out there!

I’ve gotten an influx of these types of questions here recently, and the more i thought about what i was gonna add, it became really long :(  

disclaimer: a lot of the things i bring up are just from personal experience as a writer on this site, what my followers have told me they appreciate, and what i tend to look for when im looking for fics to read! If you don’t like these tips then pls move on :) 

although i’ll mention them, i’m also not going to be focusing on cliche tips like “write for yourself” or “grammar issues” cause those are pretty obvious!

1. accessibility of your blog 

when you’re trying to get your name out there, make sure that you’re creating an inviting experience for any potential followers! this includes:

a memorable url! be creative!

have some fun designing your blog’s aesthetic! (i love cute blogs because it reflects a bit of the writer’s personality), and (i prefer blogs with white backgrounds because it’s easier to look through/read, say, in contrast to a pitch black one where the words need to be white!) 

put your masterlist link in your bio (even better if you can link most recent fic! found this most helpful when i revisit authors that i like and can easily see if they’ve updated or not)

an organized and easy-to-navigate masterlist (personally, i prefer masterlists organized by band, instead of types of fics ie. i hate when i have to choose between drabbles, oneshots, and series masterlists; i really prefer to see them altogether!) --> see section 3 

organized tags (if you’re going to be posting a lot of non-fic-related content like pictures or videos, tag them properly so followers can sort through and find your fics easily!), or (if you’re going to be writing in different mediums like drabbles, or answering asks, make sure to use a unified #mine or #writing or #fics to centralize your content) 

2. get your name out there!

write write write! once you have some fics that show your talent, don’t be shy! 

join writing groups: when i first started out, I joined a bunch of groups that would reblog my fics in the midst of the content of much bigger writers; these blogs developed a following, and as a result of my content mixing in with bigger blogs’ content, so did my own tumblr! there’s been a stigma recently with these groups, but im sure you can find one thats supportive and not clique-y! 

send your fics to rec pages: what’s the harm? the only bad thing that can happen is that they ignore you! who cares! get out there! 

if you can do the above, i really encourage you to ask your fave writers for advice/to read your fic: again, the worst that can happen is that they say no or don’t respond or don’t have enough time, but it’ll be a good opportunity to get some feedback! i for one read (or try to read) every single rec that falls into my inbox. if i like it, i’ll #rec it, and if i don’t, unless the writer asks me for feedback, i move on!! 

utilize your tags!!: i’m not entirely sure if this is still the same or not, but from my memory, it’s the first 3-5 tags that matter the most? so utilize them well; push back the tags that aren’t really relevant (ie. #writing, #fics) and push more the main subject line of what you wrote (ie. jungkook fluff, bts smut, namjoon angst). these will populate your fics into the tags better!

headers!: when i’m scrolling through an infinite page of fics, the headers catch my eye the most; try being creative! you can find a lot of info out there on how to make ur headers super aesthetic, but i can share my tips too! --> see section 3

3. your masterlist 

here are some practical tips! 

organize by band, not type of fic/member/centralize your masterlist: i went onto a blog recently and clicked their bio mlist link to find a page full of 20~ish “JUNGKOOK MASTERLIST”/ “JAEHYUN MASTERLIST” and when i clicked on each one, they only had like 2 or 3 fics per member. i think it would’ve been better if she’d centralized all her fics! that keeps whoever is looking interested and more likely to click on another fic while browsing

add info about the fics!: when scrolling through a masterlist, it’s easy to get lost; try to add some snippets of info (ie. a short sentence you liked from the fic, a quick summary, a description of the au/scenario, or even a header!) this all gives some info about the fics you have tagged! 

headers: this isn’t a requirement, but i personally love a good header on fics i read and i love making them myself as i finish up a fic and get ready to upload it; here are free sources: unsplash for HQ stock pics, crop/edit/filter in VSCO, and then add aesthetic script with fontcandy) 

try to fill it up!: after i visit a blog after reading one good fic, i usually browse through their mlist to see if there are any more that i’d be interested in. if there’s a lot to look forward to, i’ll almost always follow; try to write as much as you can in the first few months to try and fill up your mlist and give blog viewers a reason to visit your blog again, follow, or even reblog your content!) 

4. try not to reproduce cliche fics: 

honestly tumblr’s writing community (and armys) has grown insanely these past few years and, unfortunately, even from my perspective, in the past 3-4 years, all the writers have sort of become blended together in my brain. but, i can say that the ones who consistently stand out are the ones who produce consistent content and think outside of the box! 

i tend to gravitate towards fics that have really interesting plotlines (ex. btssavedmylifeblr’s VOID is always a surprise to read because it’s sO unique! i usually don’t read ot7 fics but this one is legit my fave) 

I know it’s tempting to try and just write typical smut fics to try and gain some traction, but tumblr is already too overloaded by that kind of content; try to write something that’s special and unique! this will set u apart from the thousands of other writers here --> see next section

5. create unique fics: 

this is also personal to my writing style, but i get so bored writing just casual fics about the members, and it affects the fics i choose to read too; i prefer unique fics which you can achieve through: 

circumstance/au: create a fun au!; don’t just create an arranged marriage, create an arranged marriage in joseon dynasty, or between a werewolf and a hunter! (shameless self plug); don’t just give me friends to lovers, but give me spiderman!jungkook friends to lovers! (ie. cupofteaguk’s exchanges)

jobs: give them out-of-the-ordinary jobs; don’t just give me enemies to lovers, but give me rival!anchors who end up loving eachother! (ie. jimlingss The Newscasters)

fun dialogue: create good back-and-forth, (something i’m still working on!)! this will help your characters develop personality, and that way, readers will start to develop that themselves as well (ie. dad!yoongi from insemination wars by prolixitae is such a specific character that i love so much!, or obiwrites’ garden characters were so memorable!)

create memorable personalities: don’t give me a flat character, try to develop 4d personalities in all of your characters! (im still working on this too!) this way you can really make an impression on your followers! a great way to practice/recognize this is: “Ask my Character.” Can your followers ask a specific character a specific question, and would you be able to deliver an answer that is very specific to that character’s tone/voice/personality? If yes, then ur doing well! If not, try to think of ways that you can make tht specific character from a specific story, really unique and separate from your other characters.

6. some practical writing tips

be yourself, write for your own pleasure, blah blah blah; yeah you know already haha but here are a few more practical tips! 

grammar check: if you can, try and hone your grammar! makes for an easier read 

write like you: i personally LOVE this by obiwrites, but even the way she writes exudes her personality and is so specific; try not to be caught up in adding hundreds of synonyms and exquisite language; in fact, simpling it down and being more concise and honest with your writing is better than a superfluous sentence; this will also give ur characters so much more dimension and funk

use those commas/sentence variation: try to use more commas; this will feel like you’re the narrator to your own story; it also makes it more fluid to read in my opinion, over those short. clipped. sentences. (ie. “he came over, sitting down on the corner of your bed with an expression you’d never seen before” over “he walked over. he sat down, looking sad.���) 

half-half dialogue/narration: a fic with too much dialogue can get confusing, and a fic with too much narration can get dry; try to balance them out, and weave in and out of each! 

quality over quantity: don’t feel burdened to write a 30k word fic. in fact, i think some of the shorter fics (ie. any of versigny’s stuff) made a bigger impression on me over the longer fics because they were short, left me wanting more, and were just so high-quality in such small quantities. try out your hand at drabbles and one-shots, and don’t feel too burdened to try and develop a series right off the bat! 

abandon pigeon-holes: i’m guilty of this; i start series and then end up with no vision for the stories and they end up giving me writers block. its okay. just stop or discontinue them or leave them on a hiatus; it’s okay. your priority is yourself, and if abandoning certain works are part of that, then go ahead. it’ll help you progress more. 

and finally.......

i’ll add more as they come up! but if you liked this, then pls lmk! i’d love to give more tips and tricks; i think i started this blog 3-4 years ago when there weren’t as many writers here, but im glad you’re thinking of starting out/wanting to grow more! don’t feel intimidated! it’s not all about the notes/followers but creating a blog you’re proud of. 

so write what you’re proud of, or interested in, and keep going. i truly thoroughly had so much fun writing this post. if there are any writers who read through this and have some more advice, pls msg me! 

all the best to you! 

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

hiii this might be too specific but do you have any fics where they fight, get mad and / or one doesn't talk to the other? Like precisely where one ignores the other, and it's kinda angsty or the one being ignored tries to make it better.. Thank u for your great work

we have some for you!

Just The Facts - austinflowers (ozzymandias) | E, 27k, Complete

Shane's belief system has always served him well. Demons aren't real. Ryan doesn't want to bang him. But when something goes wrong during an investigation, suddenly all bets are off.

Your Heart Inside of Mine - MiraclesofPaul | M, 51k, Complete

They're placed into the Witness Protection Program after a bomb was found on the set of Unsolved. The only way to stick together is to lie and say they’re engaged. Years go by. Things change. Things transform.

Beyond Love - allredpen | E, 10k, Complete

“I think I specifically asked you to stop pushing me.” Shane’s voice was quiet and deadly and Ryan swallowed against a flood of saliva. There was a flush that started high on Shane’s cheekbones and spread across the bridge of his nose, and a bead of sweat trickled down his jaw and Ryan was thinking he might lick it off.

-

Ryan’s only asking for a little faith.

Say You Want Me, Too - sequence_fairy | M, 5.9k, Complete

It’s too easy, Shane thinks, to love Ryan; too easy to get caught up in the swirl and eddy of the light he projects. Too easy to lose yourself in the whirlwind of an A-list romance. Too easy to fall for who someone is on the red carpet and to find out they’re not at all the person you thought.

Ryan’s not like that, though. He’s hard-working, dedicated, and devoted to his craft. Shane loves him for that and more. Loves him for the way Ryan reaches out when they’re on the red carpet and the crush of people is too intense, loves him for the way Ryan redirects the far-too-personal questions that get hurled their way when they come out into the spotlight for real.

Where Shane’s career is mowing along at a steady clip, Ryan’s is a rocket rising up out of the desert. Shane knows the saying about tides, but more than anything, he just wants Ryan to succeed, and he’s thrilled to death by the meteoric lift of Ryan’s star.

theft by finding - varnes | E, 26k, Complete

Shane looks down at the medallion in his hand. He doesn’t know why he’s kept it, all these years. He doesn’t know why he’s kept it so close, always on hand. He should have sold it years and years ago, but he never quite managed to get around to it, and now here he is, in the burning building that is his whole life, with nothing else.

Over the groaning of collapsing wood, he hears Ryan’s voice: “Shane? Shane? Shane!”

He sounds breathless, like he’s been running. Shane kicks down the cracking front door and exits to the street, tucking the medallion into his back pocket. Ryan is standing right in front of the door, as if he had been about to run inside.

“Tell you what, Ryan, you really know how to make an entrance,” he says, brushing ash off the front of his shirt and hoping that he’s managed to keep most of the bitterness out of his voice. “So was ruining my life once just like, not enough for you?”

OR: don't lie to me, you wanted an Indiana Jones AU.

Lost a fic? Check out our fic found tag, and if you still can’t find it, send us an ask!

[ckret2]

how tf do u write sir pen and alastor

Step one: rewatch this and this a million times specifically to focus on how they talk—the way they emphasize words, the cadence and flow of their sentences, pace, sound effects, mood, pitch, tone, etc.

Step two: reread their lines here or here (each one handles the transcript a little bit different—the first one is more comprehensive, the second one more objective, and they disagree on a few words) so that you can more fully absorb things like their vocabulary, length and complexity of sentences, etc.

Step three: keep those pages open constantly so that every couple paragraphs you can refer back to those pages to refresh their voices in your head when you get nervous about drifting too far off the accurate voice of a character who's got less than three total minutes of footage, which will be often.

Now you have their voices in your head.

Step four: Go write their voices!! Here are their voices:

Sir Pentious is pretentious. Alastor sounds like a radio host.

I know, I know, that sounds super obvious.

Sir Pentious will occasionally use vocab & sentence structure that makes him sound old-fashioned and dramatic on par with a parody of a Shakespeare villain. He uses phrases like "[they] dare not hinder [me]" or "the likes of I" or pronouncing "striped" as "stripéd." His vocab isn't wildly complicated—you shouldn't be sending readers running to the dictionary—but nevertheless he sounds intelligent.

Pretend that in his heart he's constantly on the verge of giving a villainous monologue about how his evil plan will let him effortlessly conquer the world, and anything else he's doing—whether it's trying to impress a crush or ordering lunch at a fast food restaurant—is either a practice run for that villainous monologue or a distraction from being able to give it. His casual conversations will have that hint of grandiosity. He's going to be mildly irritated at anything that undercuts his grandiosity—it doesn't have enough style, doesn't have enough class. He'll jump on opportunities to gloat, to talk about his goals & plans, to talk down his enemies—to try to make himself sound good, basically.

And—this is super important—remember that he thinks he's evil and is proud of it. He's not one of those villains who believes he has a just or justifiable cause. He's also not one of those villains who is villainous out of spite/anger/vengeance. He says that he is evil and he is gleeful about it. Don't feel the need to give him sympathetic/understandable/justifiable motives for his actions, because he doesn't think he has any and he doesn't care. He's power-hungry and he's bad and he's having fun. He embraces it. Embrace it when you write him.

Alastor is 100% performative at all times. Imagine that at every moment he's speaking he sees himself as a radio talk show host sitting behind his desk with a packed studio audience and the knowledge that thousands more people are listening live. He's animated and exuberant because he's trying his damnedest at all times to be an entertaining host for that imaginary audience. That's his job: put on a good show for the audience.

So every comment is snappy and interesting, he always sounds upbeat and energetic. When he talks about himself and his own emotions, it never sounds confessional, intimate, or sincere; even if he's talking about something that's genuinely been a heavy psychological weight on him, he doesn't present it like that. He presents it like a guest on a talk show telling the host a funny anecdote about his life, or a comedian telling a story to the audience: even if the anecdote is about something miserable, it's presented as an interesting/entertaining story for the consumption of the audience.

(See: the jokey way he says, "Hahaha, why does anyone do anything? Sheer! Absolute! BOREDOM!" The woe-is-me faux drama when he says "My work became mundane, lacking focus, aimless!" Those straight up sound like two depression symptoms. His voice does not sound depressed.)

So he speaks in anecdotes, one-liners, punchy comments. There's going to be very little "uh-huh" or "mm-hmm" or grunts or sighs or other such wordless sounds—everything he says is going to sound crisp and carefully enunciated for the audience at home trying to listen in over the radio.

(And you can play with that as appropriate: I have his performativeness go down when he's having an actual intimate sincere moment, and I have it crank up wildly when he's uncomfortable, secretive, feeling vulnerable, etc., and he wants to hide that.)

Step five: remember their weird speech quirks!

Hiss! Sir Pentious has got his hiss. Now, listen to me very carefully: if choossse to write Sssir Pentiousss'sss ssspeech ssso that every sssingle sssibilant isss emphasssized jussst like ssso, I ssshall sssneak into your houssse in the middle of the night with a Sssharpie and ssscribble an angry faccce on your forehead.

This is the best essay I have ever read on writing accents. And one of the most important points in it is: don't misspell every word to phonetically match how the character sounds, because it's incomprehensible, silly, and gives readers headaches. That applies to Sir Pentious's hiss.

Now, I feel like you can give him SOME hissing. If there's a word or phrase HE's trying to emphasize—if he's talking Extra Fancy, or if he's spitting an insult at someone, or if he's just being more pretentious than usual. Example: if a hero sneaks into a villain's lair and the villain captures them, the villain might sarcastically say "so nice of you to join us!" When I hear Sir Pentious giving that line I hear his voice jump up on the first word, "so nice of you to join us!" So I could write that as "ssso nice of you to join us!" for that extra emphasis. I wouldn't write it as "ssso niccce of you to join usss!"

Also: you can just not write his hiss at all. That's valid, we'll still hear it in our heads. I don't write his hiss when I'm writing inside of his perspective because he doesn't hear himself doing it.

If you DO write his hiss though, remember that it's not just on the S's. Sometimes he over-emphasizes his H's as well or inserts them where they don't belong. ("hhell will be mine, h'and everyone will know the name of Sir—") That's harder to naturally write into dialogue than the S's, but if you're looking out for opportunities you might naturally stumble across one or two. At least remember to carry the hissed H's in your head.

Radio sounds! Alastor's dialogue is loaded down with radio sound effects—studio audience applause (and different kinds of applause for "applauding a stellar performance" versus "welcoming a guest onto the show"), studio audience laughter, little trumpet sounds, snatches of music, xylophone scales, telegram beeps, drum rolls, the screams of the damned—you know, normal things you might hear on the radio. And less clear things too: a thousand different static sounds, muffled voices like you might hear when passing through stations and getting near but not actually on the right station, garbled humming, little second-long clips of songs he heard earlier.

You don't want to CONSTANTLY talk about the sound effects he's making; but like, also, constantly talk about the sound effects he's making. Strike a balance. Good luck.

Get familiar with sound effects—listen to the radio and pay attention to the sound effects used in bumper messages, listen to the sounds in old game shows, listen to radio dramas, find guides by people who work on sound effects for radio and see what they do, browse sound effect sites to see what kind of categories are listed and that people look for. Alastor shouldn't sound like a radio drama, but you can steal sounds from that. If you can hear a sound but aren't sure what to call it, try looking up lists of similar sound effects for sale and just look at what terms they use in the file names to describe the sounds. (Obviously you don't want to buy a $50 folder containing 500 radio sound effects, but oftentimes you can still see the names of the files.)

And—again, from that essay I linked earlier—the characters don't complain about each other's voices in canon. If someone's going to comment on Alastor's radio noises, there has to be a good reason for it, because it's a divergence from the norm. (Like, I have Sir Pentious commenting on and asking questions about Alastor's radio sounds to show he's curious about/interested in Alastor and how his abilities work on a deeper level than just "oh yeah of course the radio demon makes radio sounds" and to show that he's absolutely not too intimidated by him to risk annoying him—and that's intended as a deliberate exception from the norm, to the extent that Alastor comments on it once.)

Musical numbers! Occasionally Alastor will burst into song. Unless you're desperate to try your hand as a lyricist, I recommend against actually writing full songs for him, for this reason: when we see Alastor's full song in the pilot, it sounds like he's singing, because he is and we can hear it. When we see a full song in a book or a fic, it sounds like somebody's reciting poetry, because we don't know the tune and we can't hear the song in our heads. And "giving a poetry recital" is a very different vibe from "singing a song."

What I do to get around this is, when I think Alastor oughta be singing, I just take a song that actually exists and have him sing that one, and then I can fling the link at readers. Go get familiar with pre-1933 popular songs. I recommend vaudeville and musical theater as easy sources to draw from because it more often tends to be snappy, energetic, and oftentimes humorous, which fits Alastor's vibe. I also don't quote the entire song, just a couple of relevant lines—so that within the fic itself it comes across like dialogue rather than like a poetry recital. If you HAVE to include the whole song, mix it in with actions, description, narration, etc, so that it can still be read as dialogue rather than like a solid block of poetry. He's not just standing in one spot unmoving while he sings, is he? No of course not, he's Alastor. Have him dance and do dumb stuff.

Step six: remember their weird accessories, mention them from time to time.

One of the streams that I don't feel like digging up says that Sir Pentious's hat's facial expressions mirror whatever Sir Pent is currently feeling, even if Sir Pent's own expression is less honest to his true feelings. Personally, I go with that—his hat is always showing his genuine emotions—unless it's off his head, in which case it can have its own separate emotions for a moment (such as: reacting to the fact that it's fallen off its owners head). It's completely psychically connected to him and so it's never going to have a separate/independent reaction to what's goin on, just mirror Sir Pent's. There are other ways to headcanon his hat and so other ways to write his hat but that's the way I do it.

Alastor's microphone cane occasionally talk. In the show we see it do that when Alastor specifically prompts it. We don't know if the cane is its own person or if it's more like a magic ventriloquist doll Alastor talks through in order to banter with himself. I treat it as like, 1/2 a person: it's a direct extension of Alastor, and it's got some low-level intelligence, but like intelligence on the level of a chat bot programmed to try to have conversations with people but that doesn't really think for itself. Since it's an extension of Alastor it doesn't really have any thoughts/knowledge that he doesn't, but it's got a slightly snippier/crankier personality, and it might on very rare occasions say things that Alastor like, knows on a subconscious/instinctive level but is consciously denying. Its primary function is to give Alastor the reply he's looking for when he says something he wants a reply to, or to set him up for a snappy one-liner he wants to make but is unable to make unless someone else says JUST the right thing first. Again, there are other ways to headcanon/write his cane, but that's the way I do it.

Also Alastor has living shadows, one of which might be his own shadow, but like, I always forget about them so I don't do anything with them. It's fine it's cool it only shows up during musical numbers anyway.

Step seven: remember their body language.

Sir Pentious's overall body language is, unsurprisingly, pretty serpentine—he's got some wiggles, he's got some dramatic bends that show off his flexibility—and also rather elegant, or at least making a show of looking elegant. At least when he's busy posing in between doing actual work. And he likes playing with his bow tie.

Alastor's gestures are big and theatrical and his arms are always going everywhere.

However, that's not the part of their body language I want to talk about! That's the normal stuff! I'm here for the weird stuff!

Hood! Sir Pentious's hood is basically always flaring out and flattening down and flaring out and flattening down. (And I do headcanon it as a hood—just fraying along the bottom—not as hair. Every time I see fanart that treats it as hair and they braid it or put it up in a bun or whatever I have a moment where I picture his hood shredded up the length into strips and go "OH GOD, OH GOD.") Like, do not constantly describe every single time his hood flares, because it's every five seconds. But don't leave it out by any means. Pick important moments. Make sure it actually adds to the scene.

Eyes! In canon there's a few shots where we can see that Sir Pent's many many eyes move and blink, and they ten to look toward whatever Sir Pent is focused on. It seems likely that they work. If you want to say they work you totally can. I say they work. If you're gonna say they work, keep in mind what kind of field of view that gives him, and keep in mind what you can do with that knowledge. Like, if he's sitting at a dinner table with someone to discuss some kind of skeevy underground business deal and the other person slowly pulls out a gun under the table and points it at him, he's going to see that gun with his knee-height eyes and be able to kick that dude's whole chair over with his tail. 

Smile! Alastor's single most defining character trait is the fact that he's always smiling. The terrified sinners that named him the Radio Demon should've named him Smiley McSmiles. Therefore, there is no need to tell readers that he's smiling. They'll be like, "of course he's smiling. He's Alastor. We're not stupid." However, it's a good idea to mention from time to time that he's smiling, because like, Alastor's single most defining character trait is the fact that he's always smiling. And when it's that constant, it helps to occasionally bring it up to like, maintain that continuity, maintain that sense of the fact that his smile is always there. So you've gotta strike that balance between "don't just keep telling the readers that Alastor is still smiling because you don't need to tell them that" and "mention his smile from time to time." The way I do that is like, mentioning his smile in conjunction with other things, usually as an indication of his mood. Whereas with other characters you'd show changes in their expression by going "he smiled," "he frowned," "he grimaced in disgust," with Alastor you'd say like "his perpetual smile stretched wider into a more genuine one" or "he pressed his lips together as his smile thinned" or "he fought to keep smiling through the disgust"—that way, you're not telling readers that Alastor is smiling, it's something you're mentioning in the process of telling readers something different and more important about his mood.

Step seven: remember this ain't TV. Keep in mind the difference between how they sound when they’re talking out loud on screen and how they’ll sound when they’re just text in a fic.

To get their voice across, you might have to exaggerate some things in written dialogue that you wouldn’t in spoken dialogue. For instance, Sir Pentious doesn’t always have vocab that makes him sound like a pretentious, sophisticated supervillain. Sometimes he says “No other demon can compare to the likes of I!” but then sometimes he says “You wanna go, missy?” When he says that the latter line in the show, he still sounds pretentious, because his VA is still using his pretentious-sounding voice. In writing, there is no voice. Most readers KNOW what his voice sounds like, and if you’re writing close enough to his voice they’ll be able to hear it; but it’s going to be harder for them to hear it if you have him saying words that go against what his voice sounds like and they aren’t actually simultaneously hearing his voice IRL saying those words.

So, while “You wanna go, missy?” works on screen when we can hear the contrast between his voice and the dialogue, if that scene was written instead, it’d be easier to get his voice across with “Do you want to go, missy?” because it still has the unexpected/humorous casualness of “missy” in there but making the rest of the sentence very formal preserves Sir Pent’s pretentious speaking style.

Step eight: keep in mind that the question I'm answering is "how do you write sir pent and alastor," not "how should sir pent and alastor be written," so feel free to toss out anything that doesn't work for you.

[purplesurveys]

1047

What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? I can think of a few things. There’s 9/11 though I was barely conscious then, Osama Bin Laden’s death, the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, 2011 Japan earthquake, and the H1N1 and Covid pandemics. In my country, there were typhoons Ondoy and Yolanda, the Manila hostage crisis, and the Hello Garci election corruption scandal. Out of these, though, I’d say the heaviest ones to bear have been 9/11 and Covid.

What happens in your country regularly that people in most countries would find strange or bizarre?

We use a spoon and fork to eat and only really fancy shmancy restaurants give you a knife and a fork. Many eat with their hands as well, though this is way more common in provinces.

Everyone is late to everything and punctuality isn’t a thing, which is a big culture pet peeve of mine and I still like arriving early/on time anywhere.

This applies to Asia in general lmao, but shoes typically aren’t allowed or at least frowned upon if they go beyond the main entrance of houses.

We start Christmas as early as September, and we end it by the last week of January

When families get together, aunts/uncles will usually greet their nieces/nephews by asking if they already have a boy/girlfriend and/or telling them that they got fat. Horror relatives will greet you with both.

People generally like to keep to themselves, so striking a friendly conversation with strangers even if you have the pure, genuine intention to be simply friendly will just lead them to think you’re being a creep lol

What has been blown way out of proportion? The effects of video games and the question of it increasing violence among kids. Sure there’ve been gruesome accounts and no one’s invalidating those, but the overwhelmingly vast amount of people who play video games end up okay. I had so many killing binges on GTA but to this day I can’t even look at a real gun without shuddering, lol. When was a time you acted nonchalant but were going crazy inside? This is me every morning at work. 9 AM-11 AM is always the busiest period and it’s a lot of shit happening at the same time and a lot of morning deadlines to meet, but unlike college I can’t exactly call for a timeout whenever I want and have panic attacks anymore.

What’s about to get much better? I hope my fucking life is next in line. I’m tired of being tired of being tired.

What are some clever examples of misdirection you’ve seen? Probably all the times WWE would mislead viewers on a rumored return or debut of a big name by saying they’re in another city, implying that there’s no way they’d be appearing on a WWE show. This happened with Ronda Rousey and it was so fucking exciting when she finally showed up, haha.

What’s your funniest story involving a car? I don’t know, really...I don’t try to be funny when I’m on the wheel lol. Probably the time I let Angela use my car on campus, and when she needed to make a u-turn she ended up doing an awkward 90º turn and had an SUV nearly crash towards us. She had only driven a handful of times at that point so she was a little clumsy, but neither of us had any idea she’d fuck up a simple u-turn as badly as she ended up doing lmao.

What would be the click-bait titles of some popular movies? I can think of more clickbait posters than titles, but I can’t seem to remember what those films are called right now.

If you built a themed hotel, what would the theme be and what would the rooms look like? Themed hotels generally make me cringe. The most theme-y place we ever stayed at was the lodge in Sagada and it was really just more homey than anything. I’m not into themes when it comes to hotels as I find it a little cheap lol and I’ve always preferred a straightforward experience in the places I stay at for vacations.

What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered? A way to live forever. < This is a good one. Also, maybe a huge asteroid or meteor bound to hit the planet that will make widespread extinction a certainty? I can’t even begin to imagine the panic that will rise from something like that.

Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? I doubt it. It sounds difficult especially when you realize we’re 7 billion in total.

What would your perfect bar look like? As long as there aren’t any annoying younger college kids, who are almost always the loudest crowd and not in a good way, I’m okay with any kind of bar.

What’s the scariest non-horror movie? Some shots in 2001: A Space Odyssey are freaky as fuck. There were several scenes that included sudden HAL shots, and I did not enjoy those. How the fuck Kubrick managed to make a computer scary is beyond me. I’ve also always skipped the vortex scene with the creepy face shots after seeing it once.

What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? This is a really vague question... a few months ago I watched this video diary of parents who had a child born at like 25 weeks. Just way too early, basically. And they recorded the kid’s weekly progress, how she kept fighting, and her journey of being transported from one machine to another while she still needed them. It was beautiful to see her get bigger and plumper with each week that passed and it was just such a feel-good story to watch. I was so relieved when they showed footage of her as a normal, healthy toddler by the end of the clip.

What’s the grossest food that you just can’t get enough of? I know balut is pretty unpopular in the Western part of the world, but I’ll gladly eat a dozen of them in one sitting. In general Asian street food is usually considered gross - pig intestines, chicken intestines, chicken feet, pig ears, etc., but all are normal in the culture I was raised in.

What brand are you most loyal to? It’s annoying and I can’t help it, but Apple.

What’s the most awkward thing that happens to you on a regular basis? I try not to make it regular, but sometimes a mistake on my end will slip through in an email I’m sending and I have to send another email correcting myself and apologizing for the oversight. One of my least favorite parts about work.

If you had to disappear and start a whole new life, what would you want your new life to look like? I’m not wishing for much. I just wish it was easier to remove any trace of me on social media sites and have it be as if I never existed because I think that would make it easier for me to move on from...well, you know what. I still have trouble verbalizing it and I don’t feel like mentioning it tonight.

But idk, I like staying connected to my family and friends, so idk if I can ever achieve that. And that said, I think I’m bound to always keep seeing her around.

What movie or book do you know the most quotes from? I memorize a pathetic amount of dialogue from Love Actually, Twilight, Titanic, and The Proposal.  What was one of the most interesting concerts you’ve been to? I guess Coldplay? They gave assigned lightsticks for each section and the crowd looked amazing when the production crew activated the lights for certain songs. I still have some of the clips because I posted them on Snapchat, so I’m really glad I did that; otherwise I would’ve lost the videos forever.

Where are you not welcome anymore? I’ve felt pretty unwelcome around her. How she could do a 180 and just not be interested in having anything to do with me is really soul-crushing.

What do you think could be done to improve the media? Fact fucking check, please. Also keeping sources balanced, avoiding clickbait headlines, being more objective than neutral, and don’t fucking sensationalize. How timely that this landed on a journalism graduate, hahaha.

What’s the most recent show you’ve binge watched? Start Up but I haven’t continued in the last two weeks :/ I think it’s because I know I’m nearing the finale and I subconsciously just don’t want to run out of Start Up episodes to watch lol but yeah, I still have four episodes left and I have no clue when I’ll watch it again.

What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Being close with their mom and considering them as their rock.

What are some misconceptions about your hobby? I don’t know enough about embroidery to know misconceptions about it.

What did you Google last? 2001: A Space Odyssey because I needed to be sure of the scenes I planned on citing in the question above that made me mention the movie.

What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Not being able to find a restaurant to eat at. The backstory is a little complicated but it’s the same fight that led my younger brother to slap me across the face, and what subsequently led me to stop speaking to him.

If money and practicality weren’t a problem, what would be the most interesting way to get around town? Probably a tank.

What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? It’s always the ones on Wikipedia lol. I find weird and interesting articles on there all the time; there’s always something new to read.

What odd smell do you really enjoy? The rain, though sometimes it can be too overpowering when the humidity has been high. I like it for the most part, though.

What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh every time you see it? Streetwear is so fucking dull to me. I never saw the appeal.

What’s your best story of you or someone else trying to be sneaky and failing miserably? Hahahaha this happened just a few weeks ago actually. My parents and I were headed out to have some ramen, and I opened the car door to hop onto the backseat. They didn’t prepare beforehand and they left the Christmas gift I asked for - a corkboard - in the backseat, so I was able to see the whole thing, unwrapped and with price tag and all. Their mortified faces knowing that their secret’s been blown were hilarious. They had no choice but to just give it up, and the corkboard has been on my wall since.

If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? I guess the stability of our relationship, their general mood for the day, and erm how badly they need a hug because I’m always willing to give some.

What’s the best way you or someone you know has gotten out of a ticket / trouble with the law? My mom fake-cries her way out and it’s always been hilarious to see a grown ass woman do it and pull it off every time.

Tear gas makes people cry and laughing gas makes people giggle, what other kinds of gases do you wish existed? I don’t really want to manipulate people’s action in this way, so pass.

[szopenhauer]

What one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about? I won’t even have kids...

What is your least favourite thing about your full name? it’s long, it’s polish, it’s feminine, it starts on a letter Z that is rarely used, people don’t know how to write my surname down, it reminds people of a stupid song that I hate etc. 

Do you like sunglasses? it’s complicated Do you think dreams can give us insight to things? sorta, sometimes Besides your computer, what else is cluttering your desk? what isn’t...

What is your favourite glass to drink from? prefer a mug When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? they were born in Poland where we still live What time is it in the country you get the most of your heratige from? 14.42 Would you rather live in the 1960’s or the 1910’s? 60s  Is the computer your only current light source? window/sun too Do you think you look good with a hat on? I’m ugly no matter what so...

Do you have anyone you fully trust? not fully, not even myself, some I just trust more than others  When did you last talk on the phone with someone? yesterday with M.

Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? kinda When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? mom, this day Was the last movie you watched a horror film? noooo Do you own a lot of tee shirts? shitload Do you handle pain well? been told  Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? I never threw up out of stress, I can feel nauseous though Do you enjoy your hairstyle? not really atm but it’s not the worst How much make up do you wear on a daily basis? none, ever Do you have a leather jacket? fake

What is the worst insult someone can call you? I’ve already heard everything I suppose... Do you write on your hands a lot? not anymore Do you think hugs are awkward? often Ever play Angry Birds? flappy bird only How late did you stay up last night? till mornin’ Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? mhm Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? they would have to be really stupid to choose mine tbh Is there a place you’d rather live right now? on my own... Do you go out often? lately Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? my current partner, I don’t deserve her If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? I’m not reading anything Do you have a job you like? I don’t have a job How many scarves do you own, if any at all? uh oh :x

What is one way in which this year is different from last year? where should I start... Do you feel like you have too much on your plate and your life is too hard? for me it is too hard Did you do anything you regret within the last 24 hours? probably What is your favorite day to go grocery shopping? I don’t have a favorite day to go but I don’t shop on Sundays and Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays are usually the hardest to get anything  Would you follow God even if it meant losing your home, your source of food, all of your friends, or even your life? jeśli byłabym 100% pewna, że Bóg tego chce i co mam robić Who’s death has affected you the most? my brother’s Have you ever grown sunflowers? they didn’t turn out well Are you scared to stand up to a police officer? no idea What is your doctor’s first name? which one?

Do you hate political posts on facebook? when there’s plenty, especially wrong  How many pictures do you have stored on your computer? omg  Which type of camera do you prefer: digital or Polaroid? hard to tell Have you ever had a camera that took film? we had when I was still a kid Do you ever squirt whip cream onto a plate and then eat it by itself? disgusting Have you ever had a hot flash? common Are you ok? my heart hurts badly Would you rather wear purple glasses or black glasses? black If you’re a girl, do you ever shop in the boys or mens section? absolutely If you’re a guy, do you ever shop in the girls or womens section? I’m a woman What do you think of when you hear the word “Christian”? religious person lmfao How many pullover hoodies do you own? bunch Which do you take more: videos or photos? pics What is the most embarrassing thing you can think of happening? my imagination is vivid What are two names you used to get mixed up when you were younger? for example - Ada and Adrianna What do u think of the quote “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” I disagree Do you wear earmuffs when it’s cold out? I don’t own any

If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? on my phone, not computer What do you smell right now? luckily nothing much If you were an instrument, what would you be? smth annoying? Do you hate the usual 100 questions surveys? EX: Eye color boring Does your house have a doorbell? of course Do you know someone who has dropped out of high school? my classmate  If you were to get a pet turtle right now, what would you name it? mine was called Bob and I don’t want a new one  What’s your most hated commercial to watch? most of them are shit What was the last thing you charged? cellphone When you were younger, did you believe you could fly? if I did I would be dead by now (jumping out of window or smth) Favorite farm animal? chicken What’s your favorite name that begins with B? I don’t like polish names starting on B letter If someone payed you $500 would you take a bath in milk? why not Do you enjoy having time to yourself? :3 Can you do a cart wheel? still but crappy Do you like Ed Sheeran? blergh Would you rather become an author or teacher? author How many people are you currently texting? just 1 This time tomorrow, what will you be doing? hopefully spend time with @jonasz-cat Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? money Have you ever been inside a recording studio? I have not Would you rather visit Mars or Neptune? Neptune Does it bother you when people keep talking to you and you want to leave? very Have you ever texted a landline phone by accident? my sister did Do you like quotes about love or life better? love is part of life What color is your garage? not applicable Do you like it when people give you compliments? they’re lying Was your hair straight today? my hair is wavy Do you ever share things on Facebook? quizzes from buzzfeed, music link from yt and selfies Do you pick out your outfits for the next day the night before or the AM? am What color was your swim suit this year? bluish Do ladders scare you? I’m cautious

1 through 10, how would you rate your day? low Any specific reason why? how I feel physically and those mirror demons mostly + some minor things

Salt or pepper? salt If you look to your right & then look down.. What do you see? bag Did you use swear words today? sigh... What did you buy today? food

If you had the choice to meet three famous people, who would you choose? dead or alive? Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? dog is domestic ;)

Do you think people under fourteen should have sex? hell no How old were you when you had your first alcoholic beverage? 20+ What is something most people think of as lame, but you don’t? my interests? Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? just my teeth, fingers or eyes Do you like gore? no thx Would you rather receive a kiss on the cheek, or on the forehead? neck :P Have you ever had a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend flirt with you? someone who seriously tried to become my friend’s bf flirted with me and her sister and that’s one of reasons I say that you can lie with both actions AND words Where is your biological mother at the moment? kitchen Do you enjoy going places with your mother, like running errands? ... Do you have any annoying siblings? she indeed annoys me  How many people are in your immediate family? I count my parents and eventually my sister as immediate family Would you say you have good or bad luck? bad Do you like your laugh? uh... Do you hate it when people ask you how their survey was at the end? because they should do better, be more unique, sorry not sorry What are your plans for the rest of the day? we’ll see

Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? ... buttons? not zipper?... What does your last text say? it was the link to the article

Do you ever think about the past? I’m nostalgic and an overthinker Is math your favorite part of school? even in middle school when I was getting high grades for math I didn’t like it that much Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? yesterday  You’ve taken fifteen shots of vodka, what are you doing? exactly, WHAT AM I DOING?! Do you regret any of your relationships? yasss but I guess I learned yadda yadda yadda Whats the last taste in your mouth? stomach acid :(

What are your countries staple dishes? (Italians - pizza, pasta etc) *shrug* What was the last thing you felt disappointed by? my very own self Do you play games on your phone? nothing else but Choices Do you have music on your cellphone? spotify Name three black things that you can see? necklace, cellphone, calculator Do you like your best friends parents? Could you even tell me their names? I liked my elementary school’s bestie’s mom - Mrs. Krysia she was like an aunt to me and still recognizes me on the street, I miss her  Are you more of a mums kid or dads kid? dad’s Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Marilyn Monroe forever anything silly that annoys you? (i hate hearing nails being clipped) for example - someone scratching their plate with a fork, jak ktoś sztućcem zgrzebuje resztki jedzenia mam ochotę go zamordować >.<  would you perfer to do the dishes or hang washing? dishes

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Truth Pt. 9

Truth Master List

Request:

What’s up sug! sorry you’re struggling right now but I’ve come to help you If you could bring this to light for me I’d absolutely love for YOU TO DO JT So basically Bucky X Enhanced reader who are fuckin enemies. Hate each other to every last fiber of their beings bc Bucky is rude and she calls him out on it. AnywHs, they get drunk, truth or dare (go crZy baby) and LOTS LF dirty talk if u wanna do smut but if u don’t then buck taking care of her while she’s drunk cause she admitted her feelings

Pairing: Bucky X Reader (Enhanced)

Summary: Since The Avengers gave you a home the only blight has been Bucky Barnes, a ghost from your past that you can’t seem to shake. It makes you hate him. The feeling, it seems, is mutual. But… a simple game reveals that maybe things aren’t quite so simple. (Post Winter Soldier AU)

Warnings: NOTHING BUT FEELS FLUFFY FEELS

A/N: Like the warning says. We are cozy and soft with these two this week. Hope you’re enjoying it. 

Tags are open!

@midnightdream83 @mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415  @peachthatdrinkslemonade @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @handplucked  @buckysstar @sam-jae @marauder–harder @for-the-love-of-the-fandom   @meg-asaur @jewelofwinter @fairislesheets @animegirlgeeky @lydklein1 @katecolleen @siriuslycloudy2 @zannemes @catvader1o1

The sun is setting when your eyes open. Bucky lies on his stomach next to you, breathing steadily. You don’t want to wake him but you can’t help yourself. Gently you trace the arch of one of his dark brows.

Thankfully he doesn’t wake. For a few minutes you just kind of stare at him in awe, a feeling of warmth growing in your belly. You can’t quite name it, this certain breed of peace and comfort but… you like it.

Suddenly, you’re pulled from your gawking when you realize you just how thirsty you are. Slowly, you slide out of the bed. Slipping back into the boxers and hoodie, you sneak out of the room.

You down a bottle of water in about 30 seconds and crack open another, sipping it slowly. Looking around the kitchen you note the little pieces of personalization scattered around. A pithy dishtowel on the oven, the mismatched collection of dishes in the cabinets, some silly magnets on the fridge. It’s endearing and makes your place look stoic and sterile by comparison.  

To the left of the kitchen is a little office and you wander in. A plush rug covers the stained concrete floor. The wall across from the door is pure windows with a view of the city. Reds and oranges blaze brightly over Manhattan and while there’s a similar view from your own place, it’s still breathtaking. A desk sits up against the window with one of those big comfy desk chairs pushed up to it with a blanket draped over the back. This place oozes warmth and comfort. Very Bucky.  

The wall to the right is stuffed floor to ceiling with books. Damn near every best seller in the last century is here along with poetry, history, prose, fiction, and non. Some look new, some well worn and you wonder if he got them used. There’s even a scented candle tucked into one shelf. Leather and tobacco, it actually smells incredible.

Across from the bookcase the wall is covered in photos. After a second you realize… these are his photos. A slightly younger version of Bucky smiles that stunning smile with his arm draped across the shoulders of a smaller boy… of… Steve. You stare for a minute trying to find your 6’ 2” friend in the features of this slight person. He’s there, in the thoughtful eyes and crooked smile.

Your eyes wander to the left. Bucky stands with three young girls, all in Sunday best attire, smiling posed smiles. They have the same thick dark hair and you wonder if they’re related. A woman with a vibrant smile, so much like his, standing in a kitchen. Your lips pull up at a photo of Bucky with three men, all in some kind of military garb, cigarettes in their mouths smiling; WWII you suspect.

A little farther down your heart constricts. Bucky, in full Service Uniform, posed for his photo, smiling. He looks so much like the man sleeping in the other room and yet… different. That’s when you notice the shadow box filled with damn near every military honor that can be granted to a fallen soldier and the flag. It’s folded in that recognizable triangle, the little plaque with his name, James Buchanan Barnes, rank, date of birth and… death.

“Steve thinks it’s morbid to keep it,” his voice cuts through the silence like a knife and you jump, a touch of power pulsing under your skin.

“Jesus,” you gasp laughing a little.

“Sorry,” he’s holding up his hands, a little grin playing at the edges of his lips.

“No,” you shake your head, “I’m sorry, I kind of invaded your space.” Bucky takes a few steps forward hands resting on your hips pulling you to him. His expression is soft, still sleepy.

“You’re not invading,” his eyes search yours, “I’ve got nothing to hide from you.”

His words nearly suck the breath from your lungs. For two people who lived a normal life this likely would have been a passing thing but for two who had spent decades of their lives in the clutches of Hydra… these words speak volumes.

Your right-hand curls around the back of his neck and you pull him to you. The kiss is soft, not hungry or desperate. When you break away he buries his nose in your hair for a second before taking a deep breath.

“Did you get enough sleep?”

He snorts a little laugh, pulling away a touch, “Never.” Metal fingers caress the side of your face, “I noticed you were gone, just wanted to make sure you were ok.” Worry flashes in his eyes and you melt a little.

“I’m great,” you hold up the water bottle still in your left hand, “just parched.”

Turning back to the wall leaning into him you can’t help but wonder, “How did you get all these?”

His arms wrap tight around your torso, pressing you flat against him, “After Steve and I… well… died so to speak, our personal effects went to my family. Steve didn’t have anyone left.” You can relate.

“My youngest sister,” he points to the picture of him with the girls, “Jo. She has a son who’s still alive, Eric. He inherited it all and when they found Steve, S.H.I.E.L.D. contacted him.”

Your eyes scan the wall, taking in all these pieces of him. A past and a family you’ll never know or really understand. “You still have family…”

“In a way, yeah.” His right fingers tangle with your own, “It’s… strange.”

“But, Bucky,” you turn to face him, “that’s amazing. I mean… I’d be happy to still have…” Anyone, but you don’t say it.

His eyes study the photos behind you, his mouth a hard line, “It doesn’t feel like mine.” When his eyes meet yours, they’re stormy, “Not anymore.” He takes a shaky breath, “But I feel lucky that they kept this stuff for me and Steve’s sake. Eric even gave me some albums.”

He pulls away and walks to the book case. One by one he takes four old photo albums from the bottom shelf and sets them on the desk. They’re all clearly from different eras.

“This is one my Ma,” his voice cracks as he opens the oldest one. You set your bottle down and wrap an arm around his waist.

“You don’t have to show me,” your eyes look up at him, cheek pressed to his left shoulder.

“I want to,” his smile is melancholy but there’s light in his eyes when he looks at you.

Clearing his throat he flips to the first page, “My Ma had one of these for each of us kids. She kept everything.” There’s clippings, notes, drawings, a few photos. Some things are carefully paced while others are held in with rusted paperclips. You notice it’s not just Bucky here but Steve too.

“Your mom must’ve liked Steve,” you laugh.

“Like he was her own,” Bucky nods pointing to a photo of her beaming with Steve in Captain America garb. You reach out and flip closer to the front. A gangly boy with shaggy dark hair and a megawatt smile holds a woman’s hand. It’s adorable.

“Is this you?”

“Mhm,” he plucks it from the worn corner pieces that hold it to the page. “James, 1924, so I was about 7 here.”

“May I?” You reach for it and he hands you the old square photo. He’s there in that smile, the way the nose scrunches. “You were so cute, James,” playfully you pinch his cheek.

Bucky pulls back laughing, “Oh god, please don’t call me James,” he groans snatching the picture from you.

“Who started calling you, Bucky?”

He shrugs, “My parents always called me, Bucky.”

You look back to the wall, to the photo of the woman in the kitchen, “So, is this your mom?”

“Yeah, in ’55 I think.” So after she lost him.

“You look like her.”

The look on his face is so tender, “Really? I think I look like my Pa actually.” He flips through the album and points to a picture of a teenaged him and a hard looking man. The man’s beard is full, tiny tufts of grey by the chin like Bucky’s. Other than that though you don’t see it.

“Nah,” you look up at him, touching the soft laugh lines by his eyes. “You’ve got a face for smiling, like hers.”

[Bucky]

There’s no way for you to know what those words mean to him. He can’t say he agrees. His Ma was the kindest person he ever knew… He can’t see that in himself. It’s a nice sentiment though.

“I sit in here a lot… looking at everything.” He sighs heavily, “Still trying to get it all… all of me, back.”

It had only been a little over a year. The team’s medical staff was shocked at what he managed to recover given the time he had been with Hydra. He felt like most of it was back but there were still little things he’d suddenly remember, or a story Steve would tell him and he’d realize that there were still parts of him missing.

Your brows knit, “Yeah, I get that…” You turn back to the wall of his memories. He sees the tension in your shoulders, the way you try to stand straighter, hold you head higher, anything to steel yourself against whatever it is you’re feeling.

Worry settles like a stone in his gut. He doesn’t know much about your past before Hydra. All he really knew when they were about to go after you was that you, like him, hadn’t been a willing participant and that according to Fury your father was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. He reaches out and gently takes your left hand in his right, he can feel a slight tremor passing through you. Your eyes lock onto his and he smiles.

“Who’re these guys,” you point to the picture of him with the Howlers.

“The Howling Commandos,” a touch of sadness squeezes his heart. “Mine and Steve’s unit in the war.”

“Tell me about them.”

A little laugh trips over his lips and he looks at you questioningly. “You really want to hear war stories from an old man?”

The smile you give him takes his breath away, “I really do.”

-

A few hours later the two of you have built a nest in the small office. Couch cushions, pillows, every blanket in the place all culminating into a soft warm pile up against the wall. It’s not that the apartment is overly large but there’s something about being in this small space that seems to comfort both of you.

There’s a stack of pizza boxes, you’ve both torn through two large pies already with little signs of slowing down. Photos and other bits of memorabilia are scattered all around like pieces of a puzzle. Bucky brought his record player in along with his boxes of records.

He’s surprised how much he’s enjoyed talking about his past. Telling you these stories is different than reminiscing with Steve or the forced shared moments with his therapist. He want’s to give you these parts of him. You can’t help but be endlessly amused about stories of Steve before the serum, when he was just a scrappy punk with more bark than bite. And the picture he paints of Brooklyn and New York in the early 19th century fascinate you.

Glen Miller is playing right now, the sound of the brass sending him back almost a century. He loved to dance to this music once. You’re nibbling a slice kneeling in front of one of the boxes of records. You bob along to the music as you flip through to select the next one. A small noise comes from you as your hand freezes over a battered orange album cover.

“Sinatra got big after my time but damn if he doesn’t have a great set of pipes.” You don’t respond, just stare. Faint tendrils of light swirl under your skin, the air in the room getting a touch cooler.

“Doll?” He leans over resting his right hand gently on your shoulder. Your mouth is open just a touch and tears glitter in your eyes. “Hey,” he plucks the slice from your hand, laying it inside the open box.

You snap back shaking your head, “Sorry. I, uh…” You slide Sinatra’s Songs For Swingin’ Lovers out of the box, holding it in both trembling hands. “This… this was my Dad’s favorite. Well one of them. He loved Sinatra…” A tear slides down your cheek, Bucky brushes it away. “I… I would groan every time he put it on but… secretly I loved it too.” A few more tears sneak out but you briskly wipe them away sniffing hard.

“Let’s put it on,” he says softly. You bite your bottom lip hard, not making eye contact and nod. He takes the record from you and stands up walking the short distance to the desk to change the record.

The first song, You Make Me Feel So Young, seems strangely poignant. You were younger than him, hell he was old enough to be your father. But neither of you looked close to your true age. You looked it, sure. Inside though… As Frank croons the first line he turns to you, your chin resting on your knees, staring out into space.

Bucky heads back to your nest. He sits with his back against the wall, holding his arms open, “Come here.” You look back and crawl over, settling between his legs, pulling a blanket from the pile wrapping the two of you in warmth. The feeling of you pressed against him, in his arms, is damn near too good.

After a few songs, you lean your head back onto his left shoulder, looking up at him, “Do you like to dance?”

“I used to,” his eyes wander to where your hands connect, “I loved dancing.” Suddenly you’re up and out of his arms.

“Dance with me,” you’re holding out a hand smiling bright.

“Seriously?” He looks around the crowded space, “In here?”

“Yeah,” you move by the door, “there’s enough room. Come on.” You wave him over. Laughing he shakes his head and follows your orders.

You take his hands, “Wait, not this one.” The opening notes of I’ve Got You Under My Skin start. “Now.” Effortlessly you two fall into a tight foxtrot, giggling as you bump into things or stumble over the steps a bit.

Near the end, Bucky spins you, unintentionally, straight toward the blanket nest. You lose your footing and both of you tumble down, laughing.

“Color me surprised,” he leans up on his left elbow looking down at you, laying on your back giggling.

“Why’s that?”

“I didn’t expect you to know that dance.”

“I will have you know I am an excellent dancer,” you laugh mirroring his position.

“Yeah falling down demonstrated that perfectly,” he teases.

“Hey!” You toss a small pillow at his face, “I wouldn’t have fallen if my partner didn’t spin me toward disaster.” He laughs.

You shake your head, “I swear I can almost hear my Mom scolding my form,” your accent turns softly germanic, “‘Well liebling if you were paying attention to your feet…’”

“Was your Mom German?”

“Austrian,” you sigh and fall to your back, “and I was going to be her perfect little All American Girl. Dancing, sports, music, academics, I had to be the best. Always.” You turn your head to him, “So, any dance you throw my way. I guarantee I can kill it.”

“Maybe I’ll put that to the test.” He does like the idea of dancing, dancing like he used to, with you.

You spend the rest of the evening listening to music. He tells you more stories from his life, even remembering details he had forgotten. Eventually, you drift off in his arms, snuggled in the little blanket nest.

For a moment he thinks of carrying you to the bed but it’s comfortable and warm here. He feels… safe he realizes. Happy even. Instead, he buries his nose in your hair and follows you into sleep.

[gukyi]

broken rings & queens and kings | kth

⇒ summary: to make a long, long story very, very short, you and kim taehyung have been sworn enemies ever since childhood, that is, until you find out that you’re betrothed to each other for the good of your kingdoms, and everything comes crumbling down.

⇒ a long (and quite frankly, unnecessary) mixture of enemies to lovers!au, royalty!au, and arranged marriage!au

⇒ pairing: taehyung x female reader

⇒ word count: 24k (ahhhhhhhhH!!!!!!!!)

⇒ genre: fluff, light angst, light smut

⇒ warnings: hate sex and strong language (when will i ever stop w/ the hate sex)

⇒ a/n: u guys don’t know how much this took out of me. dedicated to the one and only @guktwt, without whom i wouldn’t have even written this. this one’s for u, lara!! 

The hustle and bustle of the town center is overwhelming to a princess any day of the week, but especially on Saturday. The center is a flat, dusty square surrounded by buildings on three sides—crumbling apartments and tiny side stores—and the park on the fourth, the most vibrant part of the city. In it lies the marketplace, the most active place in the entire area, where every day merchants and tradesmen and artisans gather and sell their goods to the rest of the town. It’s always busy, for there’s no rest for a salesman, but on Saturdays it’s outrageous, people pushing and shoving to get the best prices, old women haggling for a better deal, young children shouting for their parents and orphans scurrying around to get whatever drops on the ground.

To you, crown princess of this little kingdom, it is nothing like what you’re used to.

Everyone always gives you your damn space in the palace, servants and maids staying a respectful few steps behind you, tutors moving away to let you do your work, chairs distanced a good meter apart from each other during meetings. The personal bubble is not to be invaded while you’re in the palace, not even when you’re outside, accompanied by soldiers, but when you sneak into the marketplace, it pops before you even step foot in it.

Oh, how your mother and father would chide you for doing such a common thing like sneaking off to the marketplace, wearing old servant’s clothes and tying your hair back so no one will recognize you, going bare-faced to play up the disguise even further. Everyone always says the best hiding spot is in plain sight. The marketplace is no place for a princess, they would tell you, but when you’re in the marketplace, you’re not a princess. You’re just another customer, a girl seeking her hidden treasure.

Today, you are not looking to buy anything special. No gift from the marketplace would be an adequate gift for a royal, nothing you could buy here would ever match the palace’s unrealistically high standards, but you have money to burn and time to spare on days like these, days where your parents are too busy dealing with their own royal affairs to keep watch over you.

As you walk, swinging your basket in your hands and whistling some mindless tune you hear the stable boys singing to the horses, a little girl and her brother stumble across your path, stepping on the hem of your dress as she chases after him, squealing. You’re caught by surprise as you see them rush past, jumping back a bit before you catch their mother following them, brows furrowed with worry.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologizes to you, but you shake your head, insisting that it’s no big deal.

She manages to wrangle up her two kids within the next thirty seconds, and not long after that they stand guiltily at your feet as she orders them to apologize to the “nice young lady” they ran over. The boy sulkily says his sorry before bounding off, but the girl stays behind. In lieu of an apology, she holds out a daisy, likely plucked from the park nearby, already a little crushed in her hand.

“For you,” she tells you softly.

You lean down to take the flower from her hand, immediately resting it above your ear as you smile. “Thank you.”

Soon, she’s being whisked away by her mother, lost amongst the crowd. Even the small gesture, the daisy in your hair, has made your day.

That’s what you love about the marketplace, what your parents will never understand. Innocent acts of kindness like that don’t exist among royalty. Everything is a deal, everything is a bargain. Nothing comes free when you have a kingdom to take care of, nothing is given when so much is at stake. Little girls giving you daisies only exists in the marketplace, because commoners don’t have the weight of the world resting on their shoulders. That little girl will probably never remember that she gave a daisy to a young woman in a bustling marketplace, but you will.

You keep walking, strolling along with that empty basket of yours, when the sight in front of you makes you stop in your tracks.

He’s at the jeweler’s stand.

The jeweler is a burly man who looks something like a lumberjack, towering over most of the people in the marketplace with his frame, beard past his neck. He looms over everyone, but he makes some of the finest rings in town, from what you’ve heard. But there is one thing you know for certain about him, and it’s that he’s got one price and one price only, take it or leave it. His rings are expensive, to say the least, the price emulating the effort it takes to craft such finery, and you haven’t exactly heard very good stories about people who do him wrong.

Even Taehyung cowers under his gaze.

He looks like he’s in a sticky situation at best, and you can see the glass of the watch in his hand glinting in the afternoon sun. You take a tentative step forward to gauge the situation.

“You scratched the gem, son,” the jeweler grunts. “Pay up.”

Taehyung smiles awkwardly, hands pulling his pockets inside-out. The only thing that topples out is what looks to be a wad of tinfoil and a paper clip. Typical. You snort. “I don’t have any money.”

The jeweler looks like he’s about to snap Taehyung in half, and you have no doubts that with that large of a frame, he could do it easily. Steam practically shoots from his ears as Taehyung takes a step back, clearly worried.

“Now, you listen here, son, these rings cost me blood to make, so you better fucking give me some money or you won’t enjoy what happens next.” The man roughly grabs Taehyung by the arm before he can escape, and he almost loses it at the touch.

“I don’t have any money on me,” Taehyung pleads, practically shaking. “I can come back later and give you the money, if you just let me go.” Not even the classic Taehyung Charm will work on a jeweler with a taste for vengeance.

“No,” the man grunts, and people around you are actually beginning to go out of their way to avoid getting dragged into the conflict. It’s Taehyung’s problem, anyway. “You will pay me now.”

“But I can’t!”

This is getting unbearable. You storm up to the jeweler, a little (a lot) intimidated by his massive build, and pull out the bills in your pocket.

“How much?” You ask roughly, avoiding Taehyung’s gaze.

“What?” The jeweler asks.

“How. Much.” You repeat again, clenching your teeth.

The jeweler rattles off the cost and you hand him the money before grabbing onto Taehyung’s wrist and tugging him out of the town center. Over the screams and shouts of the townspeople, you hear him trying to explain himself, but you couldn’t care less.

Eventually you’re on a random side street, panting heavily as you stare at him with an unforgiving gaze.

“Y/N, listen,” Taehyung begins, but you cut him off instantly.

“I don’t wanna hear it, Taehyung. You think you can just waltz around the marketplace, trying to swindle the artisans of my kingdom, prancing around like you own the damn place—”

“For the record, the scratch on the diamond was an accident,” Taehyung says, as if that makes the situation any better.

“Okay, your point being? I just gave up nearly all of my funds to save your ass, and you don’t even thank me?” You ask incredulously.

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Thank you ever so kindly, Y/N,” he says melodramatically, pretending to bow like the prince he fucking should be. “How ever will I repay you?”

“You’re such a prick,” you say, frowning. “Why are you in my damn kingdom, anyway? I thought you were supposed to be back in yours, trying to charm your way into all of your maids’ pants.”

Taehyung looks affronted. “How dare you think I do that. I’ll have you know that I’ve only slept with half of my staff.”

“My mistake,” you remark.

“In any case, I’m here because my parents made me come here. They had some sort of official meeting with your parents and I was let out to have the day free to myself, so here I am.”

“Scratching the diamonds of the most skilled artisans in my kingdom, no less,” you comment to yourself.

“Hey, it’s not his diamond anymore. It’s mine.”

“It’s mine,” you correct him, snatching the ring from his grasp. “I paid for the damn thing.”

“Fine, you want it?” Taehyung asks, a single eyebrow raised. “Take it. A ‘thank you’ gift from me to you.”

You pretend to vomit in your mouth. “Ew, a gift from you? No thanks,” you say, stuffing it back into his palm. “Go give it to some poor girl in the local brothel instead. I don’t want it anymore.”

“You always think so highly of me, Princess Y/N,” Taehyung sasses.

“Aren’t I supposed to?” You retort. You reach a hand out and flick the collar of his jacket over. “God, you’re such a little asshole. Not even wearing your damn crest. You could have saved me all of that trouble if you just wore your fucking crest and told the jeweler that you were a prince.”

Taehyung points to your chest as well. “I don’t see a crest on you.”

“I had no plans on destroying marketable products today,” you tell him.

“Mistakes happen, alright? Jesus, it’s not like I was trying to scratch that diamond,” Taehyung says, exasperated.

“Sure got yourself into a sticky situation anyway.”

“Obviously.”

“Don’t you have better things to do than be rude to the crown princess of this kingdom?” You ask him, hands on your hips as you glare at him.

Taehyung scoffs. “Of course. I’m headed off to the tavern. Care to join me?”

Your mouth drops open in shock at his offer, and he bursts into laughter at your reaction to it. “Excuse me?”

“I kid, Y/N. You really think I’d want to take care of drunk you? I don’t even like dealing with sober you.”

“Fuck you.”

“You wish.”

With that, Taehyung sends you a wink that makes you want to make like the jeweler and snap him in half before sauntering off, headed in the direction of the only tavern in the town center. The fact that he knows where it is despite not even being from this kingdom has you disgusted and insulted. Like he knows this kingdom better than you do.  

You compose yourself after the whole ordeal, shoving your hands into your now-empty pockets with the basket resting on your wrist. As you pass the tavern on the way back to the castle, you see the daisy from your hair fall to the pavement.

Despite the fact that the gods seem to be against you on this certain Saturday, Taehyung is thankfully not present to greet you once you return to the palace and change back into your formal dress, not there to gloat in your face about God-knows-what like he does every other time you see him. It’s as if ever since you met him, he’s just been a rash that you can’t get rid of, a fly constantly buzzing around your head. He’s a minor inconvenience at most, a couple of royal dinners here and there, a few shared formal affairs, but every time he has the pleasure of seeing you he can’t help but drive you up the wall, pushing all of your buttons along the way.

You sneak in through the back entrance, out of view of your parents, scurrying up to your room and stripping yourself of your commoner clothes, tugging on the formal outfit laid out for you on your canopy bed. It’s not long before you’re hurrying down to the main hall, still tripping over the one shoe you haven’t completely put on your foot, where your parents and Taehyung’s parents are waiting in the grand entrance, talking about trivial things.

“Y/N,” your mother chides once she notices your presence. “It’s unlike you to be late for greeting guests like this.”

“Apologies, I was caught up reorganizing in the palace library,” you fib, curtsying politely in front of Taehyung’s parents, king and queen of a neighboring little kingdom. “The books on the shelving cart had yet to be placed back in their rightful homes.”

“Always so well-read,” Taehyung’s father says, chuckling heartily. “She’s grown up well.”

“She will be Queen soon, after all.” your mother reasons, pulling you in for a side-hug. The mere thought of ruling the kingdom has your insides churning. In no way are you mentally, physically, or emotionally prepared to be Queen.

“Where’s Taehyung, Taegyu?” Your father asks, and you can’t help but smirk to yourself. You’d love to see what kind of reprimanding Taehyung will get for not being here like he should. How could he not come to greet the royal family hosting him?

“I gave him the day off today,” Taehyung’s father says, and you resist the urge to let your mouth drop open in surprise. He won’t get in trouble for this? If you weren’t there to greet the family hosting you, your mother would go into anaphylactic shock at the mere notion of freedom. “So I suspect that he is wandering about town, as kids your age do. He gets out a lot, you know,” he continues, nudging your shoulder and making you smile politely. “I think it’s good for him. A ruler must get to know his citizens.”

The fact that Taehyung gets to just meander around town like a commoner as if it’s nobody’s business is beyond you, but Taehyung’s parents have always been blessedly ignorant to the shenanigans that Taehyung seems to get up to. They don’t know that Taehyung doesn’t go out and do good deeds for others, they don’t know that Taehyung, more often than not, ends up tangled in another person’s bed, drinking until he can’t feel his own fingers.

“Still,” Taehyung’s father continues, “I do wish he were here right now. Our princess has no one to converse with.” He pats a heavy hand on your shoulder, making you jump.

“Oh, no, I’m perfectly fine,” you say as nicely as possible. “Prince Taehyung need not be here in order to maintain my happiness.”

“But surely a prince as educated as he would be intellectually stimulating?”

Intellectually stimulating? Taehyung? Just earlier today he told you that he’s already slept with half of his staff, and he’s not even twenty-five. You stifle a laugh as best as you can, muffling it by pretending it was a cough.

“I’m sure indeed, but I am content without him. We see each other so often, regardless,” you say, hoping to get the message across that you don’t really feel the need to spend time with him. In fact, if you could go the rest of this visit without having to deal with that insufferable prince, you’d be pleased. But you’re too intelligent to wish that might actually happen.

“I will ensure his return before supper,” Taehyung’s father bows to yours. “We must all sit down together and eat, like true allies.”

Your father shakes his head. “No, like friends.”

You grin as the greetings come to a close, your parents beginning to wander off with Taehyung’s to talk about matters concerning the relationship between the two kingdoms, most likely. It’s politics that you’ve gotten enough of a history about from your countless tutoring sessions, dozens of textbooks that line the bookshelf in your bedroom, and some things are just meant to stay between adults. But the mention of the word ‘friends’ makes you laugh, because in what alternate universe out there in the world are you and Taehyung anything closer than mortal enemies?

The first time you met Taehyung was likely when you were babies, two young royals forcibly shoved together by their excitable parents, overjoyed by the fact that their children basically have a built-in friend.

But the first time you remember being with Taehyung was much less pleasant than that.

He is five and you are four, nothing more than mere children, having both just grown out of the toddler phase, and it is the Royals Fair. You go every year, a festival held for all of the royals in your area, from kingdoms high and low, with divine food and carnival games. It’s such a shame that you had such an unpleasant experience, because you really enjoyed going.

You’re at one of the booths with your father—still a young king at that age, one that has yet to show the signs of true aging—as he helps you, kneeling down on the ground with his hand on your arm. With one fluid motion, he helps you land the ring on the peg at the other end of the booth, making you squeal with joy as the man working the stall grins down at you, handing you your prize. It’s a teddy bear, one with a red bow wrapped around its neck, and you love it the second your hands touch it.

He begins to walk you back to where your mother is speaking with some of the other dames, duchesses, and queens, when he hears his name called. Within the next few moments, he’s leaning down and telling you that he’s going to go and speak to the people who wanted him, and that you should just keep walking back to your mother on your own. You nod, still beaming from winning the bear that’s currently in your hands.

You start to stroll back to your mother, tiny little footsteps on the freshly mowed grass, when a boy whizzes by you, making your hair blow from the breeze. He sticks out a tiny hand and snatches the toy from your arms, making you gasp.

“Catch me if you can!” The boy taunts, dangling the bear by the ear with a devilish smirk. Before you know it, he’s off, leaving only the dust from the ground behind him.

At four years old, you’re something of a little terror, according to your mother, never able to sit still and always wanting to move, so a challenge like this is nothing. You’re darting after him without a second thought, your little legs taking you as fast as they can. You weave through the people, educated royals nursing glasses of champagne as they mindlessly chat, their children running amuck just like you.

Eventually you come to the edge of the fair, where the clean-gut grass meets rambunctious wildflowers, and the boy is nowhere to be seen. The only thing in front of you is a large oak tree with a branch that extends to right above your head.

When you look up, you catch the end of a bright red ribbon, waving in the wind.

If this is some sort of challenge, then so be it.

You immediately begin to climb, the sensation hardly foreign to you, already feeling this wondrously expensive lavender dress of yours getting dirtied. You reach the top successfully, swinging your legs over the branch as you grab onto the bear, holding it tight. Take that!

Four-year-old you never had the best foresight, and even now your rash-decision making process is a bit unbounded, so it doesn’t occur to you until once you’re up the damn tree that you don’t actually know how to get down without injuring yourself.

From up here, the height is terrifying. It’s as though the ground is a whole three stories away, the drop frighteningly large for a child your size, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d camp out on the tree branch and begin wailing.

But you do know better—or, at least, four-year-old you does—and you have a sneaking suspicion, that uneasy gut feeling, that that boy is waiting somewhere, hiding amongst the trees, for you to start sobbing, and you refuse to let him hold that over you.

With the bear held tightly in your grasp, you swing your legs over the branch and find yourself in the precarious position of clinging onto the tree trunk and the tree branch, dangling your legs over the ground and ready to jump. You take a deep breath and push yourself off, totally unprepared for the ground to come up as fast as it did.

You hit the grass with an ugly thud, palms and knees landing on the greenery first, almost like a cat, before the rest of your body collapses from the pressure. When you sit back, your hands sting as blood trickles from the torn skin, and the whole front of your dress is covered in muck. Now is when you start crying, bawling your damn eyes out from the pain as your mother rushes over to you, concern lacing her features.

“Y/N! What happened to you?” She exclaims, gasping. “How did you get your dress so dirty? That’s no way to act like a princess.”

From the corner of your swimming eyes you spot the boy standing in the middle of the grass, rocking back and forth on his feet and grinning cheekily.

You decide then that you will never let anyone walk all over you like that anymore. Especially rude boys who tease unsuspecting girls like you.

So, sure, you and Taehyung didn’t get off on quite the right foot, but the grudge you held from that point onwards was so bitter that by the time you were both old enough to look past it, you already hated each other too much to do so.

Even as the years wore on, your relationship never did get much better, despite your parents’ best efforts. Taehyung grew up exactly as you expected him to from the moment you saw him. Cocky. Smug. Bothersome. Condescending. And worst of all, attractive. Nothing angers you more than the fact that Taehyung is not only uncouth, he is also good-looking. And damn, does he know it.

You probably would have known who he was even if you weren’t royal, if you were just a commoner in the streets instead, because word gets out. No one can seem to shut up about his good looks, his masculine charm, and God help you if you fall for that trap as well.

But you know Taehyung better than any of the other girls he’s slept with, better than any of his secret admirers and lovestruck maidens that he has across the many kingdoms that decorate this part of the world, and if only people would believe you when you said that he wasn’t really that much. What’s a pretty face without an intelligent, responsible mind to go with it? Why does his being handsome matter when he is completely and utterly unprepared to rule a country? Good looks don’t charm foreign diplomats like they do university students.

There are many things you don’t like about Taehyung, but most of them boil down to the fact that you are well aware that you will probably have to spend the rest of your life dealing with him, especially considering the close alliance your people have with his. Great.

You’re contemplating the meaning of human existence on your bed, silk sheets unmade and messily shoved to the edge of the mattress, when you hear something pelt your window. Thinking it might have been a poor little bird, accidentally crashing into the glass after seeing the sky reflected in it, you rush up to the frame, opening it.

Next thing you know, a rock the size of a fat blueberry comes whizzing past your head, narrowly missing your ear as it lands on the hardwood floor behind you. Two stories down, standing in the garden that your room overlooks, is a grinning Taehyung. His hair is matted and his clothes are carelessly strewn over his body, his entire figure emanating that just-had-sex kind of aura. From where your head is peering out of the window, you see that his hand is filled with little pebbles he likely picked up from stone path that winds its way through the yard, and he’s got one ready to pelt, probably at your head.

“Miss me, Princess?” Taehyung calls from below.

“You’re gonna break my window if you keep doing that!” You shout back, frowning.

“That’s kind of the point, you know.”

“Can’t you just go back to your own kingdom and bother the people there? Why do you have to come all the way here?” You politely request, expression bitter.

Taehyung simply grins back up at you, smug and teasing. “Bothering other people is not nearly as entertaining as bothering you.”

You can’t help but scoff, too speechless to say anything else. “Just don’t break my damn window, okay? I don’t have any time to arrange for a repairman these days.”

With that, you’re shutting your window and storming back to your bed. As you walk away, you hear another little clink, forcing you to sharply turn back around and practically yank open your window. When you look down, Taehyung is staring back up at you with a smile, casually throwing a pebble straight up in the air and catching it over and over. You shoot him a glare and the middle finger before slamming your window shut once more, turning around and looking down at the stone on your floor. Picking it up, you head back to your bed, collapsing on the mattress. You hold it in front of your face, staring at it, and wondering why Taehyung, despite your best efforts, just can’t seem to leave you alone.

It’s customary for, on the first night of having guests, the hosts to hold an extravagant dinner for the visitors, and your parents have spared no effort. This massively elegant dinner is always the best part of any Kim visit, mostly because you get to stuff your face with delectable food without your parents criticizing you on your diet of the day. It’s also the worst part of any Kim visit, because it’s the one time where you have to deal with Taehyung’s snarky passive-aggressive comments and pretend like they’re nothing but banter in front of both his and your parents, and it makes you want to slowly dislocate all of the bones in your body. But hey, this is typically the only time where you have to deal with him like that, so you win some, you lose some.

The maid knocks on the door to your bedroom, making you jump as you pull on one of your finer dresses. Your parents always chide you for never dressing nicely in front of the Kims, especially for the celebratory first dinner, so you’ve made the executive decision tonight to get all dolled up, just for them. With one of your arms failing to stuff itself into the short, balloon sleeve, you call out to the maid. “Yes?”

“Her Majesty, the Queen is requesting your immediate arrival to the dining hall,” the maid shouts through the door, knowing better than to come inside—not that you care, as the maids have seen you in more precarious situations before—and disturb you. After pulling on the rest of your dress, you quickly tame the mop you call your hair and grab your tiara, fixing it atop your head. You slide into your flats (fuck heels) and scurry downstairs, knowing you’ll probably get some sort of reprimanding for not being perfectly punctual, but live and learn.

When you stumble into the dining hall, a little out of breath from the rush down the stairwell, you are met with a feast. Sitting around it are your parents, Taehyung’s parents, and of course, Taehyung. He looks much more put together than he did this afternoon when he was pelting stones at your poor window, silk button-down shirt ironed and hair styled perfectly, smooth and shiny. You think you can make out a couple of silver earrings lining his lobes as well. He’d probably be very attractive, if it weren’t for that ugly smirk scrawled all over his face, the one that makes you want to tear your own eyes out.

“Apologies for my tardiness,” you say, quickly curtsying before walking over. “I had prior engagements.”

“Oh, you probably just got caught up in one of those books of yours,” Taehyung’s father jokes heartily. You’ve always liked King Taegyu, a great ruler and a friendly, welcoming man. Nothing like his son. He has also saved your ass from getting lectured by your parents multiple times. “You’ve hardly missed anything.”

You crack a small smile before making to sit down in the only open seat left (next to Taehyung, no less!), softly taking a seat as the conversation picks up.

The feast in front of you is absolutely divine, and much more elaborate than the bulk of the dinners you’ve shared with the Kim House, which has all sorts of alarms going off in your brain. There’s always a reason behind anything that happens in the royal household. No things are done just on a whim. But hey, you’re not complaining as you pile on the servings of filet mignon, rainbow trout, caprese salad, pudding, gnocchi, and escargot (among other things). It looks like the meal stretches for miles, even on this smaller table, and with the constant flow of chefs and waiters in and out of the dining hall, it seems never-ending, too.

“How have you been, Prince Taehyung?” Your father asks between bites of ribs and steak. “Healthy, I hope.”

“Very well, your Majesty,” Taehyung responds. “I’ve been kept quite busy with my thorough investigation of the mechanics of my kingdom, from a commoner’s point of view. We spend so much time on our thrones that it should do us some good to explore life from a different perspective.”

The words nearly make your eyes roll right out of their sockets. What bullshit, you think. Taehyung doesn’t sneak out of the palace to get a better feel for how the lives of his people are, he sneaks out to get drunk and sleep with maidens like there’s no tomorrow.

“Very well said,” your father responds, nodding thoughtfully. “I’ve never thought about it that way.”

Taehyung grins your way, and you fight back a sneer. He knows that all it took were a couple of eloquent words and his charm for him to get away with sneaking off like that, meanwhile you are consistently berated for doing the exact same thing. For God’s sake.

“Taehyung here has developed something of a fascination with common life,” Taehyung’s father says, patting his son roughly on the back. “If I were any more concerned, I’d think he’d abandon his kingdom just to go life live in the city streets.”

“Oh Father,” Taehyung says, and he sounds like such a little asshole, a Daddy’s boy, “I would never want to give up all of this.” He looks you directly in the eyes as he does so, and you send him back a sickeningly sweet smile.

“How are you, Princess?” Taehyung’s mother interrupts, changing the subject. Thank God, you didn’t want to listen to the rest of the parents here bolster Taehyung’s ego any further. “Not too busy, hmm?”

“I’m quite occupied these days,” you reply honestly, avoiding Taehyung’s gaze. You have no doubt in your mind that he’s probably rolling his eyes at your response. “My parents are bequeathing upon me a somewhat hefty amount of political affairs to sort through. They’d prefer it if I was already experienced in handling diplomatic matters when I become Queen.”

“I should hope that those affairs are not treating you too poorly,” Taegyu interjects. “They’re very much a large workload for a young princess like you.”

“I can handle it,” you say quickly. “Actually, I find them quite interesting. It’s as if I’m reading a novel still being written.”

Taehyung’s father shakes his head fondly. “Always with the books, aren’t you?”

You beam. Taehyung stifles a laugh.

This is typically how these dinners tend to go.

The conversations break off again, Taehyung’s father talking to your mother and your father talking to Taehyung’s mother, leaving you and Taehyung to relatively your own devices. It’s moments like these where you hate sitting next to him (like you always do), because all he does is whisper rude things in your ear that make you want to get up and leave.

“‘They’d prefer it if I was already experienced in handling diplomatic matters when I become Queen’,” Taehyung mocks, voice all high-pitched to imitate yours, or, at least, that of a stuck-up princess. “You’re so fucking full of yourself, you know that?”

You scoff, brows furrowing. “Look who’s talking, Mr. ‘Busy with My Thorough Investigation of the Mechanics of My Kingdom’,” you sass back. “I’ve never heard such a load of shit in my life.”

“At least my parents don’t care if I sneak out of the palace,” Taehyung taunts like a child, boasting about his privileges.

“At least mine actually trust me to run a kingdom,” you retort. “When was the last time you picked up a damn book and actually retained the information that you read?”

“When was the last time you actually got your nose out of a fucking book and had some fun?” Taehyung asks back. “No one wants a stick in the mud as their ruler.”

“No one wants a reckless young adult as their ruler either,” you say, frowning. “Learn to grow up a bit before you decide being King is worth your while.”

“Princess,” Taehyung says, voice all honeyed and smooth. He leans back in the velvet chair in which he sits, silk shirt unbuttoned just enough for you to be able to get a glimpse down that toned chest of his. He always knows how to push every single one of the buttons on your dress, and it’s sickening. “What’s the point in being a young adult if you aren’t reckless once in awhile?”

You can hardly bear to look at him like this, how he looks at you like you’re another one of the girls in the local tavern, poor ladies he sleeps with just for fun. You’re not some treat, some prize to be won, you’re a princess. A princess that’s going to kick his ass one day, mark your words.

“You two always get along so well,” Taehyung’s mother comments innocently as she looks over at the two of you. Taehyung’s still grinning his infamous grin, and from an outsider’s perspective, it must look like nothing but old banter between two long-standing friends, but neither you nor him know that that’s actually true. His mother elbows your father. “It’s so nice to see our two children are friends.”

You and Taehyung both crack fake, guilty smiles.

Taehyung’s mother continues, and you and Taehyung can do nothing except blink awkwardly, expressions stiff. “We’re all very pleased that the two of you get along so well. It’s so crucial to the future of both of our kingdoms that you work together and treat each other well, especially in this time of general political turmoil across all nations, all lands. Even little things like this are important.”

“Taehyung,” your father bellows, catching his attention. His back straights and he adjusts his shirt so that it’s less provocative, nodding solemnly at your father. “You are twenty-five this year, am I correct?”

“Yes, your Majesty. My birthday is at the end of December.”

“Very good,” your father says, and you do not like the path that this is going down. Not one bit, “That means that the responsibility of King will soon be bestowed upon you, will it not? Perhaps within the next couple years.”

“I believe that is customary, your Majesty,” Taehyung says, head bobbing. He looks just as concerned as you do. “Though I do believe that my father is one of the best rulers our Kingdom has seen throughout its short life.”

“You are well aware, I’m assuming, of the importance of alliances between rulers of smaller kingdoms?” your father asks, a bushy eyebrow raised.

Taehyung nods again. “Yes, your Majesty.”

“Good. As you will soon be inheriting your throne, as my daughter will mine, one of these days, I believe it is important for the two of you to build upon the friendship that you have already established with each other.”

You and Taehyung look at each other, eyes wide and brows slightly furrowed. Neither of you have the slightest clue what in God’s name your father might be alluding to, but judging by the expressions on the rest of your parents’ faces, you have a feeling it might be a thing you won’t be able to refuse, for better or for worse.

“Father,” you interrupt hesitantly, “what are you implying?”

“Your mother and I have discussed this topic heavily with King Taegyu and Queen Shinjong, and we collectively believe that it would be in all of our best interests to establish something of a personal alliance between our two lands,” your father tells you sternly.

“A personal alliance?” Taehyung and you ask at the same time before looking to each other, almost as though the both of you were offended by the fact that you both said the same thing.

Your mother’s always been the straightforward one. “A marriage, dear. That’s what we’ve decided upon.”

You almost choke on the sip of the drink you just took. You sputter, coughing inelegantly as you pound your chest, setting your glass down roughly on the satin tablecloth. Out of the thousands of things that could have come out of this royal feast, you did not expect marriage to be one. Despite how close in proximity you are with Taehyung, seeing him several times each year—if not, more—and having to waste away your precious hours next to him for the sake of your parents, you had always just assumed it would be something of a lifelong alliance, just to keep the peace.

In a way, you suppose, a marriage is sort of a lifelong alliance. Just, in a different context. A very different context.

“Marriage?” Taehyung asks, just as damn shellshocked as you. “When—when was this decided upon?”

“Last meeting,” Taehyung’s father says, beaming, and it’s clear from the get-go that he is probably the most pleased out of all four of the rulers at the table about this arrangement. “We did not want to spring it on you right then, just in case it appeared that you two stopped getting along.”

You knew there was something sketchy when you sat down at this table.

“Is it wrong of me to think that we may be a bit young for all of this right now?” You interrupt, trying to salvage any chance of calling off the wedding, cancelling it and just sticking to diplomatic alliance instead. “We both still have over half a decade to thirty.”

“Despite your age, both of you are perfectly capable to handling a wedding,” your father says sternly, and there goes your last-ditch effort to worm your way out of this engagement. “We trust you.”

Taehyung’s mother pipes up, a small woman with a very large presence in the right scenarios, “This wedding will be good for all of us, will it not? You two get along remarkably well for two young royals, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t see an issue here.”

“Perhaps, what Princess Y/N was trying to convey, is that we may be rushing into this a bit too quickly?” Taehyung asks, and this is the only situation under the sun, moon, and stars in which the two of you will band together and actually fucking agree on something. “I do not see why you felt the need to keep this from us. We still have our entire lives ahead of us.”

“Lives as rulers of your respective kingdoms,” your father reminds the two of you. “You two are under a great deal of pressure as future leaders. Once you are married, you will be able to share the responsibilities and address matters together, as equals.”

“Still, do you not think this is all a bit sudden?” You ask, turning to Taehyung with a hesitant gaze.

Your mother waves off your concern, as if it’s nothing more than a piece of dust on the fabric off her gown. “You two are, above anything else, friends.”

You and Taehyung share a pained glance at each other.

She continues. “I cannot fathom why you would be against this union, especially considering your current relationship. Even so, it’s not as if we are setting up the wedding for next week. It will be a large, public affair, and will require a hefty amount of preparing. We were thinking in the spring of next year.”

“March is hardly three months away!” You exclaim, eyes wide.

“Y/N!” Your father bellows, making the table shake. “Unless you can provide me with a legitimate explanation as to why this union is illogical, unreasonable, and unnecessary, then I want to hear no complaints from you. This is not only for our benefit, but for the kingdom’s. Both of them.”

All of your worst fears come rushing to you at once, your worrying thoughts and sudden realizations. Marriage to Taehyung. Being tied down to the man who sleeps with four people in a single day. Being tied down to your worst enemy, your arch-nemesis, for the rest of your life. You know that divorce is out of the question, especially considering the relationship between your two kingdoms. Fuck. Marriage? You’re not getting out of this one.

“I am incredibly thrilled with this arrangement,” you say as you look at your father dead in the eyes, and the words taste like bile in your mouth. “My apologies for my overreaction. It was all quite sudden.”

Everyone seems content with your statement.

You turn to Taehyung, making the daring move of taking those soft hands of his in yours, calloused in all of the right places. You’ve never touched him like this before. You look up at him, and the expression on his face is something of worry, stress, fear, and interest. He’s got the smallest smirk dancing on his lips as he looks at you, hair hanging in front of his face in thick, silky strands.

“I could not be more pleased to hear that I will be wed to you,” you say, grinning and bearing it, because that’s all you can really do right now.

Taehyung lifts your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the skin, a move he only pulls when he’s really got someone to impress (and it’s never you). “Please, Princess,” he says in that honeyed tone of his, the one that sends shivers down your spine and makes your smile turn down, “the pleasure is all mine.”

It’s going to be a long rest of your life, that’s for sure.

Post-dinner, you decline the invitation to take a stroll in the botanical gardens that surround your palace, as the adults often do after a hearty meal, and you make a beeline for your bedroom.

In hindsight, you probably should have seen this coming. Your parents have mentioned Taehyung an awful lot these past few months—more than usual, at least—and the feast should have been a dead giveaway, but here you are, utterly astounded at the fact that you will be wed to none other than Kim Taehyung. You knew you should have just been frank with your parents back when you were thirteen and said no when they asked you if you enjoyed Taehyung’s company, because now the lie has only catapulted into something a lot more serious than just mere accompaniment.

You kick off your shoes, letting them fly to different places on your hardwood floor, flopping down on your mattress for another time as the weight of the world presses down on your shoulders. You have never felt more of an impending sense of inevitable doom than this current moment. It’s as if the universe has just decided to collapse in on itself and you’re the sucker right in the middle of it all.

Nothing tops off an elaborate royal dinner like the news that you’re marrying your least favorite person on Earth.

The mere thought of having to deal with the unbearableness that is Kim Taehyung has bile rising in your throat, an ugly taste on the tip of your tongue. Oh, how many girls would kill to be in your place. How many people you would kill just to get out of it.

All this worrying has your body heating up, nerves aflame at what is to become of you once you’re officially Taehyung’s wife, so you tumble off of your bed, hitting the floor inelegantly before opening your window.

That breath of fresh air feels like that eerie calm before the storm, that sense of peace you feel right before a massive exam, that moment where everything is good, but only for a moment. That’s what the night sky feels like against your skin, brisk breeze blowing back your hair. You take a seat at the cushioned windowsill that you’ve got by the window, hand resting in your palm as you stare out into the darkness. It would be something straight out of Romeo and Juliet, if it weren’t for the disgruntled look on your face and the fact that you are very much not excited to be marrying some guy.

A pebble whizzes by your head.

You snap up, the sight shaking you straight out of your resolve, and you look down to see Taehyung, still all made-up in his outfit from the dinner, staring at you from two stories below in the garden.

“Are you trying to take my eyeball out?” You shout down to him, accosted. You can’t believe he would have the damn gall to pelt a stone at you when you are at your windowsill, but then again, you can’t say you should be surprised. “Because if so, try harder. I don’t want to have to look at you anymore.”

“Please,” Taehyung comments crassly, “I’m quite the sight, aren’t I?”

“To your reflection, yes,” you remark to yourself, just loud enough for him to be able to faintly make out. “To others, that’s debatable.”

“Don’t act like you’re the only one who’s disappointed with this arrangement, alright?” Taehyung yells, exasperated. “This isn’t all about you.”

You scoff. “Look who’s talking.”

“Listen, Y/N, I know you’re pissed but there’s no reason why you should be taking it out on me,” Taehyung says, and even from two floors up you can see him rolling his eyes. You admit you’re being marginally unreasonable, but you’re angry, alright? Who are you going to project onto if not Taehyung? “It’s not as if I’m any more pleased than you are.”

“Thank you for confirming the fact that the dislike in this relationship is mutual,” you say sarcastically. “I was worried it was a one-way street, but I’m very glad it’s not.”

“Will you just shut up and let me finish?” Taehyung asks, clearly annoyed. “God, you’re always like this. You always have some witty remark on the tip of your tongue. I don’t wanna hear it, alright?”

“Oh, so it’s fine when you do it, but when I do it, it’s rude? Alright, fine,” you say, dropping the topic. You’d rather not deal with this today. “Continue.” You sit back, motioning for Taehyung to keep talking.

“What I was trying to tell you is that we’re going to have to learn to work together despite our massive, massive differences for our parents and our people, so we’re both going to have to suck it up and deal with it, okay? Can you do that?”

You heave a great big sigh, well aware of the fact that now you’re just being immature. You know you’re not getting out of this marriage at this point, and that even the notion of escaping and moving to the countryside is out of the question, so you can’t even say no. “Yes. If you can, I can.”

Taehyung nods, securing your response. “Good. Because we’re going to be living together until the wedding, so get used to it.”

It would take a zombie apocalypse for this day to get worse, and even that has you a bit skeptical.

At least your parents aren’t forcing you to room together. Well, not yet, anyway. The arrangement is as follows: you and Taehyung will stay at your palace until week’s end, before you go to stay at his palace for the rest of the engagement. Reason being, the wedding we be hosted in the botanical gardens of your own palace, and your parents need all of the time they can get to prepare for such a celebration. So, no matter where you go and what you do, you’re stuck with Taehyung.

Your parents expect life to go on as fucking normal, like they didn’t just spring an engagement to the one man you cannot stand and totally change your perspective on life. But if Taehyung’s willing to make things work, you suppose you are, too.

You’re in your bedroom, furiously studying one of your older books—Beowulf, it is—when your mother knocks on your door. She doesn’t really wait until you respond, simply opening up and walking in.

“Y/N, are you busy?” She asks softly.

Avoiding her gaze, eyes trained on the words of the book as you finish the four-page literary analysis your English tutor is requiring of you, you say, “A little.”

“If you aren’t, King Taegyu and Queen Shinjong came up with the lovely idea of you showing Taehyung around the town.”

Your pen drops from your hand, the ink dragging along the paper and messing up all of your hard work.

“N-Now?” You stutter out, brows furrowed in concern.

“If you’re free, yes. He’s currently in the training room. He told me he wished to have access to it to practice his fencing,” your mother says before bowing out, leaving you to contemplate your choices.

You could say no. If you really wanted to, you could say no, make up some ridiculous excuse on the amount of schoolwork you have or the royal chores you have to attend to as Crown Princess of your small kingdom, but you won’t. There are too many expectations on you now, too many things people insist on you doing, and it is unlike you to let people down. Besides, you’ll have to redo that whole page you were working on anyway, due to the ink, so you might as well just give yourself a break now. If your tutor asks, you’ll say you were busy with the wedding.

Opening your closet, you pull out your commoner garb from the corner in which it’s shoved. This is perhaps the only time you will ever be officially permitted by your parents to disguise yourself and go into town, for if you were to show Taehyung around as Princess, then you would need your bodyguards and a cavalcade and all that nonsense. Taking off that scratchy princess dress of yours, you instantly relax at the feeling of the drab cloth on your body, smiling as you remove your tiara from the crown of your head and let your hair out of its tight hold. You exchange your stubby little heels for some muddy slip-ons, and leave your room.

In the training room, Taehyung is not fencing. In fact, he’s not even doing anything remotely athletic. Instead, he’s lying with his back to the mat lining the floor from wall to wall, tossing a ball straight up into the air and catching it over and over.

“And here I was, thinking you were actually practicing your swordship,” you say as you stroll into the room, catching him by surprise. He sits up quickly at the sound of your voice, but immediately collapses back down when he sees the clothes you’re wearing.

“Oh, I thought we had something official to do,” Taehyung says casually, not even bothering to look at you.

“We do, asshole,” you sneer, going to stand at his feet. You lean over and snatch the ball mid-air before he can catch it, dangling it above his head like a prize. “As suggested by your parents, I am here to give you a tour of my kingdom.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Why would I need a tour of your kingdom? I already know it better than you do.”

You scrunch your nose. How dare Taehyung have the nerve to say that he knows your kingdom more than you do. “Excuse me?”

Taehyung sits up again, this time looking right at you, dark brown eyes boring into your soul. “That’s right, Princess. You think you know your kingdom? Think you’ve explored every nook and cranny, seen every person and walked every step?”

Your mouth opens to defend yourself. Taehyung has no damn clue what he’s talking about.

Taehyung gets up, pushing himself off of the floor and stepping towards you. The proximity makes you want to move back, keeping yourself at a comfortable distance from him, but he roughly grabs onto your wrist, trapping you in place. He takes another step, body almost pressing entirely up against yours, eyes still locked on yours.

“You don’t know your kingdom like I do,” he whispers, and you feel his breath hit your ear and send shivers down your spine. It sounds sensual, that smooth, honeyed voice he probably uses with all of the girls he charms in those taverns, but it also sounds like a challenge. A challenge you will not back down from.

You press your palms against his chest, feeling how thin his damn silk shirt is, feeling the smooth skin beneath it. You push him off of you, frown ever-present on your face. “You better get changed, Taehyung,” you hiss at him, “because I know this kingdom better than you ever will.”

It’s the first time you’ve ever walked through the streets of your land—bustling sidewalks and crowded roads all filled with shouting merchants and tradesmen—with someone by your side. Only now do you begin to pay attention to the overwhelming amount of couples throughout the town, girls and boys holding each other’s hands as they stroll through the city, giggling to each other. It gives you this weird urge to hold Taehyung’s hand, prove that the two of you are also worthy of being together, but for your own damn pride’s sake, you refuse.

Taehyung thinks he’s a genius, a seasoned expert of your kingdom, when he only visits a few times a year, when he doesn’t take the time to not only learn what is in your kingdom, but why.

He doesn’t know that the woman by the stall on the corner of the sidewalk who sells bread by the loaf built her oven by herself. He doesn’t know that the crumbling, grey building that hides right behind the pristine new elementary school is a classroom as well, as there were more students than anticipated this year. He doesn’t know that every year the daisies planted in front of your castle are put there by the first graders for a school project in April. He only knows bodies pressed up against him, bartenders that slide another drink across the counter.

You continue weaving your way through the masses, eager to get this damn thing over and done with so you can stop having to spend time with him, when you turn around to find him gone. Immediately, you have to force your way against the current of people as you struggle to find him, looking at the top of the crowd for a familiar face. How the hell can he just disappear like that?

After two minutes of fruitless searching, you stop under the balcony of a store, moving out of the line of people and catching your breath, when the crowd seems to magically clear out and Taehyung is standing right in front of you, a rose in his hand. This all feels too contrived for you to trust it.

“Where the hell did you go?” You ask, ruining whatever falsely-romantic mood there was as you storm up to him. “I was looking for you all over the damn place.”

“There was an old woman selling roses on the side of the street,” Taehyung says casually, twirling the flower in his hand.

“And you bought one?”

“You know, Y/N,” Taehyung says, avoiding your gaze as he teases the petals in front of your face, letting them drag along your nose and lips. You sputter, purposefully trying to spit on him. “Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the roses.”

“Wow, you sure taught me,” you reply sarcastically. “Way to go.”

“You’re so damn tense all the time,” Taehyung says, the flower falling limp between his fingers as he frowns at you. “You never know how to just relax and have fun. Isn’t that why you took me out of the palace? To have fun?”

“Your definition of fun and my definition of fun are very different, in case you weren’t aware,” you point out, reminding him that his version of fun tends to end up in some sort of bar. “I’m having fun just like this.”

Taehyung puts his hands on his hips, a skeptical single eyebrow raised. “It doesn’t look like it.”

“You don’t know what the hell fun looks like unless it kisses you on the lips,” you remark.

“If you think I kiss all of my hookups then you’re dead wrong,” Taehyung interrupts, pointing an accusatory finger your way. “Kissing is too intimate for a hookup.”

“Wow, that’s not what I wanted to know,” you say immediately, hands up in surprise. “I don’t care what you do or don’t do with your hookups. Come on. I have to keep showing you around.” You turn on your heel and continue walking, a destination soon coming to mind. Before you take more than a couple of steps, however, you immediately wheel back around, glaring at Taehyung as he brings his hands up in surrender. “And don’t wander off.”

A couple of blocks later, the two of you are stepping into the only bookstore in the heart of the city, a small wooden shop that looks like it’s about to burst open from the weight of all the novels, plays, and anthologies. When you sneak out of the castle, you visit often, always eager to see what new things the owner might have in stock. This is mostly how you’ve amassed such a collection of books in your room, all littered with notes in the margins, underlined words and arrows and comments. You’re not allowed to do that with the books you get from the palace library, because, you know, regulations. You’re something of a regular in this store, one of the few inhabitants of this kingdom that actually spends their time reading.

“Back so soon?” the owner asks from the top of the ladder where he stands, trying to stuff a couple of the thicker books onto the higher shelves. You were here less than a week ago, right before you ran into Taehyung and rescued him from getting his ass kicked by the jeweler.

“I can’t resist,” you admit sheepishly, strolling in. “Have you got anything new?”

“Just a couple of books, but I think you’ve probably read them already,” the owner says, finally stepping down from the ladder and meeting you at ground level. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is—”

“Tae,” Taehyung says quickly, holding out a hand for the owner to shake.

“He’s never been here before,” you say, not wanting to give away either of your true identities. None of the townsfolk ever know that they constantly come in contact with royalty, and you’d like to keep it that way.

“Do you like reading, son?” The owner asks.

Taehyung blushes a deep red. You already know the answer to this question. “I don’t do it much, but I’m trying to get back into it.”

“Well, this lovely lady is a wonderful place to start. She’ll tell you everything you need to know about every single book in this store, so take your time,” the owner assures him, patting you on the back before leaving the two of you to your own devices.

Taehyung looks around the little store in awe, amazed at how many books can fit into such a tiny space. His mouth is open the smallest bit as he turns in a circle, scanning the bookshelves that surround him. “Have you read all of these?”

You shrug casually, going over to pick up a book, flipping it around to read the imprint on the back cover. You finished this one last year. “Most of them.”

Your response leaves Taehyung speechless as you wander around the shop, grazing your fingers over the covers of the books on display. Nothing here really appeals to you today.

“So this is what you do in your free time? Read?” Taehyung asks, eyebrows raised.

You turn to him, a frown on your face. “Yes. Why? Are you against literature or something?”

“No,” Taehyung says, expression morphing from shock to something else, “I think that’s kind of neat, actually.”

There you stand, staring at each other from several steps away in the middle of an otherwise empty bookstore. Your hand’s limp as it touches the spine of a random book on a shelf as you gaze at him, piercing eyes looking into his, and you think that maybe, in the grand scheme of things, marrying him won’t be so bad.

That awkward half-moment you shared in the bookstore means almost nothing. Immediately after your trip throughout the city, you and Taehyung are back to your regularly scheduled bickering, snarky comments made under your breath as you begin to deal with all of the affairs both of your parents have decided to involve the two of you in. Often times, you end up wildly debating in meeting rooms, arguing over every little thing, pulling out all of the stops to ensure that you beat each other.

But it’s not long before the week is up and you’re forcibly being sent to Taehyung’s land, to reside in his castle as his goddamn betrothed, because this is your life now. You pack up a couple of suitcases and meet Taehyung and both pairs of your parents in the entrance hall of your palace. Just outside waits the carriage that will bring you and your soon-to-be-in-laws to his neighboring kingdom. You’ve packed lightly, as Taehyung’s parents have assured you over and over that they have clothes and makeup and whatnot already there for you, which just goes to show how long this whole marriage thing has been in the works. It’s unbelievable how easily they’ve kept this from you.

“Ready to go, Y/N?” King Taegyu asks as you come down the marble staircase, lined with red carpeting to prevent scuffing from those ugly heels of yours (it’s happened before). Behind you are the servants carrying your very limited number of bags, scurrying by so that they can pack them onto the carriage.

“I couldn’t be any more prepared,” you respond, coming up to stand next to Taehyung, his large, obnoxious frame overpowering yours instantly. Even his hands are huge.

“And you, son?” Taegyu turns to Taehyung, an eyebrow raised.

Taehyung nods. “I am overjoyed to be taking Y/N home with us.”

“Don’t get too excited,” you mutter under your breath, only loud enough for him to hear. In response, he elbows you in the side when nobody’s paying attention. You scrunch your nose up as you turn to him, unimpressed.

“Just because you will no longer be in our kingdom doesn’t mean you are absolved of all of the matters you have yet to take care of,” your father reminds you sternly. “We trust you to complete all of your tasks in a timely fashion along with your responsibilities as an engaged princess.” It’s the closest you’ll get to an “I love you”.

“And have fun!” Your mother adds excitedly. “I have no doubts that you and Taehyung will get along just as well as you do now, so I want you to enjoy yourself while you’re there. Spend time with him,” she suggests, motioning to Taehyung as he stands beside you. “It’ll do you a lot of good. You are getting married to him, after all.”

You and Taehyung glance awkwardly at each other, smiles too filled with teeth to look natural, forced grins in front of your parents so nothing seems out of place. This is how it’s always been.

“We’ll see you soon, alright?” Your mother says, going in for an embrace as she wraps her arms around you. “It won’t be long until we’re discussing the first batch of wedding plans!” She cries excitedly, making you awkwardly chuckle in response.

“Ready to go?” Taegyu asks as the servants begin to usher you out of the palace and onto the marble staircase that overlooks the pavilion below, two carriages waiting to take you to his kingdom. You can already see your bags strapped onto the carts behind them.

As you reach the bottom of the steps, you turn around to wave goodbye to your parents, and feel strangely at peace with the fact that you will hardly be stepping foot in this kingdom for the next few months. Your parents smile heartily in response, hands up in the small, royal wave that all rulers inevitably use, and Taehyung’s mother approaches you from behind.

“You and Taehyung shall take the latter carriage,” she informs the both of you, lips right in between yours and Taehyung’s, “and your father and I will sit in the first one.”

It seems pretty typical until, wait! You and Taehyung in one carriage? Alone?

“Just the two of us?” You ask hesitantly, trying to disguise the displeasure in your voice. Already, these next few months aren’t looking so hot. If you know you won’t be able to handle a simple carriage-ride next to him, how are you supposed to deal with the rest of your life?

“Of course!” Queen Shinjong says, clapping her hands together. “The new couple needs all of the privacy they can get.” She places a soft hand at the top of your back. “I know this is a big step for the both of you. We all want you to work it out as best as you can.”

With that, Queen Shinjong is gracefully marching off to her own carriage, where Taegyu holds his hand out for her to step inside before following suit, leaving you and Taehyung, speechless, outside your own.

He’s silent, too unsure of what to say, but he eventually makes to open the door, holding a hand out for you to take to lift you in. The little red devil on your shoulder is telling you to breeze right by him, refusing his offer and storm inside, but you suppose that you’re going to have to be diplomatic if you want this whole marriage thing to work out without you wanting to to gouge your own eyes out, so you gratefully take his hand as he gently lifts you into the carriage. Taehyung then hops inside himself as the footman closes the door behind the two of you, leaving you, once again, in silence.

Best case scenario: you make it through this carriage-ride without saying anything. Worst case scenario: you don’t. The best case scenario was already off the table the second you turned your head and saw who you were sitting next to.

“You know,” Taehyung says, breaking through the ice with that honeyed voice of his, “I really didn’t think you were going to let me help you get inside this thing, Princess. Thought you were going to blow me off and step inside yourself.”

“I had half a mind to,” you mutter as your reply, avoiding his gaze. “But I’m trying to make peace, here.”

“Me too,” Taehyung says. “That’s why I’ve decided that from now on, I will not sleep with anybody else, though I’m afraid that I’ll leave a trail of broken hearts behind me with this choice,” he says as if it’s something to be proud of, like it’s an achievement to be saying that he’ll abstain from the casual hookups he engages in so often.

“Shut up,” you frown, scrunching up your nose. “That’s so cocky of you. You might as well just draw a dick on your forehead now to get it over with.”

“Oh, Y/N, you never fail to humor me,” Taehyung says, laughing smugly. “Your wit alone would be enough to have the whole damn population on their knees for you.”

“Wow, hearing that from someone who’s definitely had half the population on their knees for him certainly means a lot,” you chide. “You sure know how to compliment a girl.”

“Only the best for my betrothed,” Taehyung muses. “It’s a real damn shame it had to be like this, you know.”

“‘Like this’?” You ask, seeking further clarification.

“I mean, to put it short, we hate each other,” Taehyung reminds you (as if you need reminding). “Not exactly how I pictured spending the rest of my life.”

“That makes two of us,” you comment, snorting slightly, It’s funny how the fact that neither of you wants to get married to the other is the very thing that the two of you can finally reach an agreement on. Strange how the world works, sometimes. “But we already agreed that we’d stick through it, right?” You ask, eyebrows raised as you turn to him.

“I guess we did,” Taehyung says, thinking back to the conversation the two of you had, with him two stories down from your bedroom window, and you, your head peering over the ledge that stood right above where he was, in the grass. It seems like such a distant memory for you, even if it was hardly a week ago. “I mean, we’ll get there eventually, right? Whether it’s before our wedding or ten years after, we’ll learn to live with each other. We have to, don’t we?”

You nod. “That we do.”

Taehyung goes back to staring out the window of the carriage, and there are so many peculiar things about this situation right now. You and Taehyung just had an actual conversation without any rude interruptions or bitter bickering, no rolled eyes or thinly-veiled threats, and it went well. Taehyung’s silent now, something he’s been a lot more, ever since news of the wedding dropped, something you never thought you’d begin to dislike. Strangely enough, you prefer it when Taehyung is boisterous, loud, uncouth, because it gives you something to lament about aloud, rather than the silence that leaves you trapped within your own thoughts, your own mind. Silence is so much louder than noise.

The journey hardly lasts more than two hours, two hours much too long when they are spent in a carriage next to a man that you hate but have to learn to love, no matter how impossible the task may seem. When you finally pull up to his palace, much bigger, more elegant, and better architecturally designed than yours, you are eager to escape the tension of the carriage, a stuffy air that weighs down on your shoulders along with the rest of your responsibilities.

The Kim’s castle has always been much, much nicer than yours ever will be, but it looks different when you approach it with the knowledge that this is your new home, rather than just a guest house. There are things in the palace you never knew before, secrets that will become revealed once you settle in your room, and for some odd reason, all of them seem to revolve around Taehyung.

“I’m sure you are extremely familiar with our abode,” Taegyu says to you as you walk inside, servants following close behind with your few bags in tow. “So please, Y/N, make yourself at home. I should have Taehyung show you the library, once that rascal gets inside, though I’m sure you’ve probably read all of the titles by now.”

You look back to the open door and see Taehyung outside, jumping off of the ledge of the carriage and hitting the ground with a soft thud. He’s still silent, but his mouth is the slightest bit open, and you watch his eyes trail their way from the dirt to the steps to the train of your dress, right up until he meets your gaze.

More than a hotel, a temporary living space, the Kim’s castle is your home away from home, you realize, the recognition hitting you once you find that you never really feel out of place within the walls of this palace, like you’ve belonged here all along.

In this castle, your room overlooks no such garden, no ground where Taehyung can stand and pelt rocks at your window at the most inopportune of times, but that’s never stopped a man like Kim Taehyung. There’s no need for him to try and catch your attention from outside the castle when he has total free reign inside of it. Over the past two days as you’ve settled into what appears to be your brand new life, Taehyung has pestered you, hooted from the hallway, knocked and pounded on your door more times than you can count on both hands. He’s always known how to push every single one of your buttons, like a child playing with a toy for the first time. He’s asked you for tea, made snarky comments about your reclusive habits, moaned and groaned about his day, all outside your goddamn door, and yet every time you hear that familiar knock, you open it.

You’d think you’d have learned by now.

You’re lying flat on your back in nothing but your undergarments—a thin, silky slip dress that clings to your figure and doesn’t leave very much to the imagination—reading one of the books King Taegyu had dropped off at your room especially for you (that you’ve already read four times) when the knock sounds, reverberating off of your walls. Taehyung likes to switch up the way he taps at your door, trying to deceive you into thinking it’s someone else, a maid or a servant, before you open up to reveal his wicked face, and this time, he has you fooled. You get up, soft bare feet on the hardwood floor, and smooth out the creases in your dress before approaching the entrance to your room, a hand on the doorknob as you turn it, not even bothering to look through the peephole to see who may be on the other side.

Tough fucking luck.

The moment your door cracks open, Taehyung is shoving his foot in between the gap and pressing the door back to reveal himself, dressed in commoner garb. He looks like the son of a craftsman, an apprentice artisan, dirt on his cheek and brown patches of mud on his clothes.

“Whoa,” Taehyung says instantly, mouth dropping open at the sight of you in nothing but your undergarments. It doesn’t take a genius to guess what he’s probably thinking. “I was not expecting this.”

You suddenly feel very self-conscious under his gaze, wanting to kick him out of your room and crawl under your covers, curl up into a ball until the sensation subsides. He’s never seen you so open like this, so exposed, dress resting at your mid-thigh and hugging every bit of skin it touches along the way. But you refuse to show your insecurities in front of him, willing yourself to stand tall and lean against the doorframe like his presence isn’t the slightest bit bothersome. Even like this, you won’t let him catch you off guard.

“What is it, Taehyung?” You ask stiffly, avoiding his gaze.

“Do you always walk around like this when you’re alone?” Taehyung asks, clearly avoiding the original topic he was coming to talk to you about as he shoves his way past you and into your room.

“Like what?” You ask, feigning ignorance.

Taehyung turns around from where he’s standing, his fingers glossing over the pages of the open book spread out on your mattress, looking at you sharply. “Like that,” he says, moving his hands up and down, tracing your silk-covered body. His eyes look like they’re practically bulging out of his head.

“Does it bother you?” You ask, a single eyebrow raised as you fold your arms over your chest. You may or may not be purposefully trying to push your breasts up, but if anyone asks, you’ll deny it. Taehyung’s gaze falters. Mission completed.

“It’s very unbecoming of a princess to be dressed in such clothing in front of royalty,” Taehyung berates you, but you could honestly not care less about what he says.

“Look who’s talking,” you say, motioning to him. “You look like you just waltzed right out of a pig pen.”

“For your information,” Taehyung says, coming close to you and pressing an accusing pointer finger at the top of your torso, right between your collarbones, “I’m dressed like this for you.”

You scrunch your nose up, pulling away. “For me?”

“I’ve been instructed to show you around my kingdom,” Taehyung tells you. “Just returning the favor, I guess.”

“So is that why you’re trekking dirt into my room dressed like a farm boy?” You ask snarkily, a smirk growing on your face.

Taehyung collapses back on your bed, clearly not getting the message about how he’s screwing up the cleanliness of your room with every move he makes. “Yes, very much so, Princess. Better get dressed before the evening rush in town.”

It’s clear that Taehyung is making no effort to leave your room, eyes locked on your as you change into the peasant clothes you brought along with you from your own castle—you had a feeling you’d be sneaking out once in a while—so you pay him almost no attention. Unwrinkling your bunched-up pile of commoner garb, you begin to pull on the dress, stretching up just enough for Taehyung to catch a bit of your underwear under your slip dress. Just enough to tease him, just enough to make him want more. Besides, you’re going to have to make a child eventually, so better get the awkwardness over and done with now.

Once you’re set, you hop over to Taehyung as you’re pulling on your other shoe, knocking on his forehead and expecting to hear a hollow sound in return, space where his brain should be. It shakes him out of whatever trance he’s in, bringing him back to reality as he stands abruptly.

“Ready to take on this town, future wife?” He asks, holding his arm out for you to link with your own.

You frown, unimpressed, and walk three steps ahead of him, just out of his reach. “If you say so.”

Unsurprisingly, you never really got the chance to explore Taehyung’s kingdom like he has yours, always needing to stay behind and deal with fucking diplomatic affairs like you’d been taught while Taehyung pranced around town, charming every human being he made eye contact with. You’ve only ever rode through his town in carriages, looking down on the people rather than looking at them.

By the time you reach the floor of the city that his palace overlooks, the sun has just started to set over the horizon, the sky turning a darker shade of the vibrant light blue it is during the day, and the streets are packed. This must be the evening rush Taehyung was talking about, the scramble to get home after a long day’s work and perhaps pick up a couple of groceries on the way, merchants and tradesmen trying to make their final sales of the evening before closing up shop, children running back to the calls of their parents after being let out to play for the afternoon.

It’s not unlike yours, this town is, same groups of people, same clockwork schedule. Taehyung acts like your kingdom and his are vastly different, can hardly be put in the same damn category, let alone be compared to each other, but it doesn’t feel that way. Sure, Taehyung knows this kingdom better than you do, better than you ever will, most likely, but from the surface, everything feels the same.

Taehyung is daring, and in order to keep him from losing you in the herds, the booming masses, he holds your hand. Not in a romantic way, like hand-holding should be. His touch doesn’t feel romantic. There are no sparks, no skips of your heartbeat. Holding his hand just feels like him.

“Your kingdom looks the same as mine,” you tell him as you reach a stopping point on the corner of the sidewalk, out of the crowd’s way. Taehyung looks up at you at that comment. “At least, it feels the same as mine.”

“Does it, now?” Taehyung asks like it’s a challenge, looming over you menacingly. “Princess, I don’t think you’d know what my kingdom feels like even if it kissed you on the lips,” he murmurs, and you are both repelled and attracted to the way his lips hover over yours.

You don’t have a snarky retort to fire back at him, and Taehyung looks pretty damn satisfied with the fact that he’s rendered you speechless, turning around with a smirk and dragging you along to whatever he wants to show you.

Taehyung manages to catch the local baker right as he’s closing up shop, a hearty old man with a thick beard standing on the inside of the store window, switching the sign to the display the words ‘CLOSED’ in bold, cursive lettering. Taehyung waves at him through the window, other hand still tightly holding yours, attracting the man’s attention. The warm smile the baker gives Taehyung in response has you doing a double take—has he enchanted everyone in this damn kingdom?

Apparently. The baker lets you and him into the store after hours without batting an eyelash, welcoming you in like he wasn’t just about to go home and take a (probably) much-deserved rest. The smell of baked goods, bread, muffins, cakes, and everything in between wafts through the air even though it’s likely been a while since the ovens were on, like the scent is just perpetually there.

You’ve never visited a bakery alone like this. Well, you’re not technically alone, as reminded by the sound of Taehyung accidentally knocking over one of those cafe chairs, but you’ve never been in a bakery without the hustle and bustle of a morning crowd. You only ever visited yours when you snuck out, pretending to be yet another young girl perusing the streets, quickly grabbing a bite to eat or sitting down to read a novel in the corner, a cupcake on the plate in front of you. Never like this.

“It’s been several days since you’ve visited, hey?” The baker asks Taehyung as you wander around his shop, paying them little attention as you take the place in.

You can hear Taehyung respond. “Yes, I got caught up. I’m glad to be back, though.”

“A new girl?” The baker asks, and it doesn’t take much of a genius to know that he’s talking about you. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see him motioning to you as he continues speaking. “Just two weeks ago you came in with that other girl, the one with the laugh, right?”

The mention of another girl has you slowly turning to face them, wanting to catch Taehyung’s response without him knowing that you’re listening in.

“Oh, her,” Taehyung replies awkwardly, clearly not wanting to be caught up in this conversation in front of you, the woman he’s engaged to, no less.

“Yes, I liked her,” the baker admits. “It’s a shame, but the new one seems nice. What’s her name?”

“Y/N,” Taehyung responds before you can open your mouth to tell him that maybe giving your real name might not be a good idea, depending on how well the baker knows his foreign leaders’ daughters. The thought seems to instantly strike him afterwards, his eyes widening slightly as they meet yours, frantic.

“Ah, very nice,” the baker nods, clueless. “Hopefully she’ll stick around longer than the last one, eh? Though I can’t count on it—it doesn’t seem like you stay with one girl for too long.”

Taehyung visibly winces at the statement, eyes locking with yours as your amicable smile immediately deflates into a frown. You raise a single eyebrow, the universal sign for ‘you’ve got a shit ton of explaining to do’, and he quickly turns back to the baker.

“No, I think she’s a keeper,” Taehyung says rapidly. Normally the words would sound romantic, a lovesick man musing about his significant other, but this time, they sound forced. Forced because you aren’t getting out of marrying him, forced because neither of you are joining together in holy matrimony out of love. He rushes over to you, bidding a quick goodbye to the baker before taking your hand and tugging you out of the bakery, only coming to rest a block away from it.

It’s interesting, how Taehyung waits for your reaction with baited breath, pausing with his mouth parted as he braces himself. He’s expecting the worst—you can tell from his expression—ready to take whatever lecture you’re about to give him.

Instead, you say this: “I didn’t peg you as a bakery boy.”

Taehyung looks, first and foremost, shocked. He sputters. “Um—”

“You know, in all of the time I’ve known you, you’ve never talked to me about dates,” you continue, acting like he hasn’t said a thing. “You’re always talking about girls, and sex, and alcohol, but never dates. You never seemed like a ‘romantic outing’ type of person.”

“I’m not,” Taehyung says quickly, beginning to defend himself. “She wasn’t anything special.”

“She was special enough for you to take her to a bakery,” you mutter.

“It was after we had met at the tavern,” Taehyung says, skipping the lurid details you know are shoved somewhere in between his words. “She had something to pick up at the bakery and I was headed there myself. We just talked for a bit.”

“Did you like her?”

“Not enough for me to stay.”

Letting his words sink in, carve a memory into your brain, you take a step closer to him, closing the gap between the two of you without ever taking your eyes off of him.

“Do you ever stay?” You whisper, more to yourself than to him, but he seems to hear you anyway, hear the questioning of your voice, the bitter tone leaving your mouth.

“I’ll stay with you,” Taehyung says, and it’s not a promise, like it should be. Nothing is a fucking promise when you’re a royal, you can’t promise shit unless you have something to back it up. Promises are made to be broken, and broken promises are costly when you’ve got a crown on your head. This, Taehyung’s words, they’re not a promise. He has no choice. He will stay with you or he’ll give up his crown, his life, his kingdom.

“That doesn’t mean anything to me, Taehyung,” you tell him coldly, harshly. Your voice is bitter and resentful and you fucking know it. “Staying with me isn’t a choice.”

“Isn’t it?” Taehyung asks, mouth downturned. “I don’t have to do all of these things. I don’t need to show you around my kingdom, accompany you to dinners, try and make peace. We could just be married on paper. We could be separate rulers joined together legally, but not physically. I don’t need to do this.”

“You don’t show me around places and talk to me for me,” you snap. “Your parents? Mine? The royal officials? They can’t catch onto this. You and I both know that we’re only pretending when we kiss each other in public.”

“Do we?” Taehyung asks, and before you can say something back, rebuke his question and scowl, he’s pressing his mouth to yours in a kiss.

You make a noise of surprise at the sudden action, soft lips on yours as his hands reach out to grab you by the waist, angry and rough, but you don’t reject him. There’s this attractive fury in his touch, an intoxicating taste on his tongue that keeps you wanting more. Taehyung feels like fire, tastes like it, too, and it leaves you breathless, senseless, speechless.

His hands rake up and down your body, the sandpaper fabric of your commoner clothes mixing with his smooth skin, but it doesn’t stop him. Yours stretch up to wrap around his neck, just tight enough to make his hot breath catch in his throat before it mixes with yours.

You’re kissing him.

You’re kissing Kim Taehyung. Your betrothed. Your enemy.

And he’s kissing you, too.

There’s a red hot burning in this kiss, a rage that both of you seem to possess, and it only ignites you further as you lean into each other, hands rough but mouths rougher. When you part with heavy pants, lips a dark red from the movements, your gazes are locked together. You look into Taehyung’s eyes and see this spark, the same one you assume must be there for every girl he sleeps with, a devilish glint that hints at a lot more than you think it should. His hands are still resting on your waist, possessive and taunting, keeping you right in front of him (where you belong).

“You never answered my question,” he says, voice thick and smooth, like honey. “Are we still pretending?”

You don’t like thinking about this. You don’t like thinking about what he’s asking you, what it implies, what it really means. You can’t seem to keep your mind straight, and Taehyung’s lips are warm and inviting and right in front of you, swollen and cherry red. And so you don’t think, turn your mind off, let all reasoning leave you, and kiss him.

This kiss is messier than the last, more teeth, more tongue, hot breath down your throat as his hands move from your waist to your neck to your cheeks, keeping you in his arms. You don’t care who’s watching, workers walking back from their jobs with their noses upturned at the sight of you two, making out on a corner street. All you can focus on his him, him, him.

It’s not long before you’re moving, running down the roads back to his castle, pausing every three seconds to push each other up against window displays just to get another taste on your lips. He’s rough and unforgiving, fury and rage rattle in his bones and you can feel it from the way his lips meet yours. In return, you’re sneaky and teasing, dodging his touch every now and then and keeping him just out of reach sometimes. It excites him further, ignites him as he takes the challenge as his own, one to finally catch you, trap you.

You dance this dance all the way back to the palace, bounding down roads as the evening rush dies down. Once you’re inside, you’re giggling as you scurry up the marble staircase to his room, trying not to get caught by maids and servants and staff alike but stopping every five steps just to press each other against a wall or a pillar or a table, kissing down each other’s necks and jawlines, tongues meeting skin.

You’re at his room, you realize as he jerks open his door with such great force that it almost makes you jump, if it weren’t for the way you’re melting into him. When he’s got you inside, he switches on the light and kicks his door close, the sound of it shutting echoing throughout his bedroom. You can’t keep your hands to yourselves, refusing to let your bodies part, taking every opportunity to explore. Taehyung wrenches the ribbon tied around your waist loose, your dress subsequently falling to the ground, leaving you only in the slip he caught a glimpse of earlier today. You’re not feeling very self-conscious anymore.

You coax him onto his giant of a mattress, taunting him with the promise of your lips, your body, and he finally caves. When he’s near you, you begin to take off this old dress shirt of his, shaking fingers undoing each button as he presses kisses to your neck and jawline, the exposed part of your chest. Eventually you collapse onto the bed together, half-naked, desperate and wanting.

Taehyung tugs off the slip dress, revelling in the sight of your exposed body in front of him, and he wastes no time getting a taste of exactly what he wants. As he licks a stripe down your chest, his fingers make their way to your core.

Within no time, his pants are off and his silk sheets are pushed down to the edge of his bed your bodies tangling up in each other. You’re teasing, he’s rough, and you clash in a perfect nightmare. There’s a fire in his room tonight, lightening and thunder mixing together in one hell of a storm.

Taehyung fucks hard, his hands press down on your body so tightly you know you’ll wake up with bruises, but you don’t care. With every moan, every gasp, he speeds up, breaths getting quicker and quicker until you’re both hitting your climaxes, crying out to each other. Taehyung comes with a groan, hot white spilling out onto your chest as you come down from your high.

When you return to his room after quickly entering his bathroom to clean yourself up, you find Taehyung totally conked out in his bed, wet towel hanging over the foot of it to dry out and the sheets nestled comfortably up to his chin.

You’ve seen Taehyung in a lot of different ways, devious smirk on his face as he greets you right after having sex, silk button down shirts and earrings and the fakest fucking smile, mouth opened slightly, involuntarily as he fucks into you, but not like this. Taehyung sleeps like a fucking baby, you realize, soft snores and fluttering eyes as he curls into himself. He reaches out mindlessly, helplessly, hand grazing over the empty side of his bed, and your heart sinks at the sight, like he wants something that’s not there. Eventually, he settles for one of his many pillows, wrapping an arm around it as he curls into it.

You can’t help but feel like you’re intruding. Gathering your clothes, strewn over the floor, you tiptoe out of his room, shutting the door softly behind you as you scurry back to your own abode.

The next morning, nothing changes. You and Taehyung sleep in separate beds in separate rooms, leading two different lives only joined together on paper. When you meet him in the dining hall for breakfast, his hair is brushed, falling in smooth waves over his forehead, his clothes are ironed and expensive, and he’s just as unbearable as he always is.

You’re sitting at the table, awaiting whatever staff that is bringing out your breakfast meal on a silver platter, when he flings open the swinging door that leads to the palace kitchens, a bagel with a huge bite out of it in his hand, crumbs gathering at the corners of his mouth, falling to the floor. He’s shouting something to one of the girls inside, voice sickeningly sweet, a smirking thank you to whoever sneaked him some subsistence. As he turns to face you, mouth grinning wide, you roll your eyes.

He takes a crass seat down across from you, not even bothering to lean over the china plate in front of him as he takes obnoxious bites of his bagel. A servant, not a moment later, emerges with a full fruit salad bowl on his tray, placing it down in front of you with a flourish and a bow before scurrying out. When you look a bit closer, you notice that it’s all of your favorite fruits. How kind of them.

Before you can use the serving spoon to scoop some onto the small salad plate in front of you (etiquette can die), Taehyung’s reaching a giant hand over to scoop out a couple of chopped pieces with his goddamn fingers, no less, popping them into his mouth in between bagel bites. You immediately recoil at the sight of it, how inelegant he’s being, hesitant to reach that serving spoon in and eat some for yourself. Who knows what the hell his hands have touched.

“Relax, Princess,” Taehyung says, sensing your distaste. “My hands are clean. Unless you’re against bagel crumbs.”

“You disgust me,” you say blankly, finally caving in and starting to help yourself to your fruit salad.

“I believe you mean ‘enchant’,” Taehyung corrects you cheekily, making you scowl as you stuff a chopped up piece of melon into your mouth.

“Don’t get your fucking hopes up, you know,” you spit.

Taehyung only chuckles, low and rumbly as he shakes his head. “Princess, don’t lie to me. We both know you weren’t thinking that last night.”

So, yes, nothing’s really changed. Only now, Taehyung’s got another thing to tease you about. Great.

It’s a month later when your parents finally summon both you and Taehyung back to your palace, where your wedding will be held in April, among the blossoming flowers as a symbol of rebirth, new beginnings, and love. All things that you couldn’t care less about (especially with Taehyung) even if your life depended on it. The worst part about this, however, is the fact that they’ve called for only you and Taehyung, not his parents, which means you will be spending the entire journey there in the same fucking carriage with no protective barrier (see: his parents) to prevent you from clawing at each other’s throats and wanting to toss each other out of the moving vehicle. But duty calls, and so does wedding nonsense, so you and Taehyung clamber into the car with spats and bickers.

“I just wish my parents could plan this whole thing and leave me out of it,” you complain as you’re on your way, collapsing in your seat and letting all notions of good posture fly out the window.

“Well, don’t you think it’s important that you have a say in your wedding?” Taehyung asks. “I mean, it’s kind of like, a binding deal. At least make it enjoyable, while you’re at it.”

“That’s exactly it,” you huff. “We’re getting married and this entire thing was set up by our parents, so why does my opinion matter now? It didn’t matter when I was trying to protest our engagement. I don’t see why my parents would think I want anything to do with this wedding.”

“Still,” Taehyung says, attempting to make you see reason. “It is your wedding.”

“It’s yours, too,” you add softly, another reminder that you’re not the only sucker in this deal, that life is a two-way street. “I’m not the only one getting married.”

“But you’re half of the couple,” he tells you. “Your opinion matters just as much as mine does. This wedding is for us.”

“No, Taehyung,” you say sternly. “This wedding is for our parents. Our kingdom. Our people,” you tell him firmly. “It’s not for us. I’m not getting married to you to have a good time. I’m not willingly participating in this wedding to make a night worth a memory. Don’t you understand? I don’t want to remember this night.”

Taehyung looks speechless, eyes wide before he sinks into his seat, trying to make himself smaller. He opens his mouth, something else to say on the tip of his tongue, but he recoils and turns away from you. Maybe you were being a bit harsh.

“Taehyung,” you say, a hand on his shoulder, “I didn’t—that’s not what I meant.”

“No, it’s okay,” Taehyung says, shrugging you off. “I get it. You don’t wanna marry me. That’s cool. I know this wasn’t necessarily your choice.”

“Taehyung—”

“You have every right to say those things,” Taehyung cuts you off, continuing to talk. “I don’t blame you. This is sudden and strange and unwanted. I get it, I really do.” He turns away from you again, the brief moment of you meeting eyes gone within a cold flash as he directs his attention towards the landscape. Perhaps you were being a bit much.

You sigh, not knowing how to resolve the tension in this stuffy carriage without making a deeper cut. Eventually, you take a deep breath, letting it leave your body and calm you down. “If there’s anything I want to remember from our wedding, I want it to be you.”

You reach your kingdom in a timely fashion by avoiding the market center most foreign chauffeurs always tend to drive straight through before getting trapped in the daily crowd, hopping out of the carriage with time to spare before your parents are expecting you.

“Miss this place?” Taehyung asks as he steps down from the carriage, a hand coming to rest on your shoulder.

You exhale. “Not really.” For some reason, nothing about your castle feels like home anymore.

Eventually, the palace doors open and your parents stand regally at the top of the entrance staircase, smiling warmly at the sight of the two of you, next to each other as though you were already married. You and Taehyung respectfully bow, tipping your heads to the rulers of this little kingdom, before approaching them as they invite you in.

“Enjoying yourself so far, Y/N?” Your mother asks hopefully.

You turn to Taehyung, whose hand is tightly holding yours as you enter your castle, walking down long hallways to get to where you need to go, feet stepping on the soft red carpet. “Yes, very much so,” you respond. “Taehyung is wonderful company.”

“That’s all I want to hear,” your mother muses, pleased.

“We missed your birthday, didn’t we, son?” You hear your father bellow as he converses with Taehyung, who looks so small in comparison to him. You remember Taehyung’s birthday. It was a mere couple weeks after you had arrived in his kingdom, and as a birthday gift, you gave him a battered copy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, a reminder of your conversation in the bookstore. Taehyung always did want to get back into reading.

“I promise that it was not in vain,” Taehyung responds. “You are very busy with the wedding, after all.”

“I suppose you’re right. The wedding must be our top priority, now that you’ve reached twenty-five. We do not want to keep you waiting much longer,” your father says, assuring the both of you that the wedding must proceed with speed, but not haste. April is only two months away, after all.

Taehyung gives your hand a squeeze, causing you to glance up at him, and he merely smiles. An unreadable thing, it is, the way his lips turn up, not devilish, rude, sneaky. Just a smile, just a grin your way, and even after he turns to face forward you’re left gazing at him, brows furrowed with confusion.

When your parents are presenting you with all of the options for your wedding, rather than standing back and letting them make the decisions, you and Taehyung pick together. He will suggest something, and you will agree or disagree, typically prompting some sort of compromise. Every time something is decided, something that you both like and both will find yourself enjoying come your wedding day, Taehyung looks at you, pleased and dare you say, proud. It is your wedding, after all, and while Taehyung is admittedly more the groom of your nightmares rather than the groom of your dreams, you deserve to enjoy each moment, at the very least.

And if, on the off chance that your wedding won’t even be able to indulge you, perhaps he will, instead.

Valentine’s Day was never a big deal to you until you realized that you had one of your own. Technically. The palace gardeners always grew red and pink roses during this time, cultivated in greenhouses to shelter them from the biting cold of winter, and there they were, lining the hallways in vases to celebrate your parents’ love. That was what Valentine’s Day was for you, a reminder that royalty doesn’t equal loneliness, and that love can be found even when it seems impossible.

Now, Valentine’s Day means something else. You’d never celebrated it before, paying no attention to the way the whole world seems to stop and fall in love, even with the moment, just for this one day, yet here you are.

Here Taehyung is, too, knocking on the door to your bedroom just as you rise from your beauty sleep, sun already above the horizon as its rays peek through the curtains attached to your window. You know for one hell of a fact that his parents have given you two the whole day off—unsurprisingly so, King Taegyu and Queen Shinjong have always been hopeless romantics—which equates to the two of you being forcibly shoved together to do couple-y things as bonding exercises, preparations for the rest of your life.

Taehyung’s seen you naked, so you don’t even bother getting dressed, only tugging on a loose sweater over that blush pink slip dress you always wear (how fitting for today, really, a soft pink silk pressing against your body) before opening the door. He’s standing right outside, dressed in a fantastic wealth, gold and silver littering bits of his body here and there, a ring on a finger, a choker around his neck, earrings dangling under his locks. Today, his silk shirt is a cool blue-red, soft and dark like his lips, like the blush rising on his cheeks, like the single rose he holds in his hand.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess,” Taehyung says, voice warm and low, holding out the rose in front of you, making you jump at the sudden action, stepping back with your mouth open in surprise. This is so… Taehyung of him. “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Romeo and Juliet? Taehyung’s really pulling out all of the stops for this. You scrunch your nose up. “I don’t even think you know what that line means.”

“I try to be romantic and you shoot me down, yet again,” Taehyung says, shaking his head in disapproval. “No wonder my mother told me to get you a rose. You’re beautiful, but you’re covered in thorns.”

And, there it is, the classic Taehyung line that you were waiting for. You knew there had to be some sort of catch. You frown, swatting his shoulder with your hand as you pluck the flower from his fingers, thoughtfully twirling it in your own. The gesture is nice, but this is Taehyung you’re dealing with, and there’s always something to read between the lines.

“Ah, yes,” you muse to yourself, sauntering back inside your room as Taehyung follows, the cracks in your curtains making his gold choker glint in the sun, “you always know how to sweep a girl off of her feet.”

“Only the best for my fianceé,” Taehyung responds.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure of your company at—” you glance up at the clock on your wall, “—eight-fourteen in the morning?” The rose has been cast onto your crumpled sheets, bits of its petals catching in the sun that filters through your window. You’re curling into your sweater, detesting the way Taehyung lets a draft in by not closing your door. He had one job.

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Taehyung says, like that’s a good enough excuse for this nonsense. “Does there need to be a reason behind me wishing to visit my future wife on the day dedicated to love?”

“Yes,” you deadpan, unimpressed at his attempts to woo you. He does this on purpose, these sugary tones and charming lilts, taking the parts you can’t stand about him and amplifying them. “We don’t love each other.”

Your words catch Taehyung off guard, leaving him standing right in front of your open door with his mouth open, his next sleazy remark evaporating from his lips as he processes your words for a brief second, letting them sink in. It almost looks like he’s about to challenge that statement.

“We could.”

Now, it’s your turn to be speechless. Taehyung doesn’t utter these words like he does the rest of them, a teasing tone, a smooth honey. He says them sincerely, and it’s one of the few times whatever he says doesn’t travel through one ear and right out the other. He tells you this not because he wants to taunt you, elicit a reaction from you like everything else he says does, but, perhaps if you’re going the slightest bit mad, because he wants to mean them. Who’s to say falling in love with each other is out of the question?

(Who’s to say it hasn’t already happened?)

“Is there any other reason why you’re knocking on my door with a wilting rose in your hand?” You ask, acting like you didn’t even hear him. It will do you no good to dwell on such things like that, not when you’ve got more than enough on your plate already.

“Dinner at seven,” Taehyung says, and it’s not an offer, it’s an order. “A really fancy one, too. Meet me in the entrance hall?”

You nod in agreement, almost positive that you couldn’t turn this down even if you were allowed to. For some peculiar reason, you don’t find yourself dreading this date like you would. Like you should. Taehyung smiles, pressing soft hands on your shoulders as he gently places his lips on your forehead, kissing the skin ever so slightly before standing back, blushing as red as the rose that rests on your bed.

“I’m looking forward to it,” he says before leaving, turning on his heel and closing your door behind him, hand lightly tugging on the doorknob until it clicks, leaving you standing in nothing but a sweater and a slip dress, the sun warming your back as it rises in the sky.

Being punctual is second nature to you, so it comes as a great surprise to see Taehyung already standing in the foyer of his castle, waiting for you, as the clock strikes seven. He’s handsome always, you’ll admit that much, but especially when he’s donning such a suit as he is tonight, a dark navy that brings out the caramel in his hair and the brown in his eyes. It fits him perfectly, and his jewelry, scattered along his body from his ears to his neck to his wrists, matches it impeccably. He’s been preparing for this, you can tell, from the way he’s brushed his hair to the way he’s standing, watching you come down the marble stairs with a hand gripping the railing. You were always good at walking in heels, but stairs have always and will always be Enemy Number One.

Finding a fancy dress on such short notice was mildly challenging, considering you had to fish through the belongings you brought with you and ended up coming short. In your room, you mentally berated yourself for not bringing a dinner dress like you thought you had, but you soon reminded yourself of all of the clothes the Kims so thoughtfully provided you for the duration of your stay. In the closet, stuffed at the far end, hid an electrifyingly red dress, satin and silk, frills on the one strap the dress has, the entire thing littered with exquisite gold detailing. The perfect Valentine’s Day dress.

Taehyung’s eyes are saucer wide when they see you fast approaching, slowly descending the staircase with a stiff smile on your face. When you reach the bottom, you walk up to him, heels clicking on the marble flooring, and shrug.

“Seven, you said?” You ask awkwardly, trying to make do with the small talk.

“Precisely,” Taehyung says, and you can tell he wants to say more, has so much to tell you on the tip of his tongue but he holds back, presses his lips into a thin smile as he holds out an arm for you to take.

You don’t really know what you’re expecting from this date, to be taken in carriage to an elegant restaurant in the city, brought to the dining hall for an extravagant meal accompanied by a small orchestra, but you certainly aren’t expecting Taehyung to lead you out on a balcony overlooking the botanical gardens his castle boasts, starry night and moon high above you, illuminating your features and the little glass table sitting in front of you.

Taehyung pulls a chair out for you to take a seat, and you do so gladly, taking all of this in. You’ve never had a date like this before, if that’s even what this is. He sits across from you, settling down and adjusting his uneven collar before you fall into silence. There’s a single rose in the vase on this table.

“Do you do this much?” You ask jokingly, trying to break through the ice you hadn’t even realized had settled. Since when did it get so stiff between the two of you?

“You would be the first,” Taehyung muses. “Taking girls out on a fancy date under the stars on the balcony of my multimillion dollar palace isn’t necessarily a pastime of mine.”

“I’m honored,” you chuckle. “I’ve never done this before, you know.”

“I had a feeling.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, mouth dropping open in indignation.

Taehyung chuckles lowly to himself at your objection. “I meant, I don’t necessarily think many boys would take you out on a date like this very often.”

“Boys don’t tend to take me out at all,” you say, sighing to yourself. You’ve always been too busy, too engaged and obligated, to date anyone. There’s never been time for it, before, but now, it feels as though you have all of the time in the world to spend beside him.

“I’m honored to be your first,” Taehyung says, and you can hear the truth in his words, how much he means what he says, You find that’s become quite the trend, these days. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess,” he wishes you, and god, Taehyung’s always been readable but tonight his face is hazy, expression blurred and indistinct. You’ve never seen Taehyung like this.

Dinner arrives shortly, a modest meal of fish and vegetables so as not to distract you from the scenery. The flowers below you shine in the daylight but glimmer in the night, in the gleam of the moon as she looks down on them, on you.

“We’re getting married in less than two months,” Taehyung says, reminding the two of you of the real reason why you’re here, why he’s set up this elaborate date for Valentine’s Day. You’re getting married. You’re marrying him. He’ll be yours, and you’ll be his.

“Can you believe we’re getting married?” He asks, seemingly shellshocked from the realization. It’s as if it’s just hit him, the weight of it finally falling onto his shoulders as his mind reels. He’s yours. You’re his.

You shrug, sighing helplessly. It’s not like you can do anything now to change it. “I guess so. I kind of figured it would always end up being someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“I guess I should have known, really,” you say, looking back on all of these years you’ve spent by his side. There was never a time you could remember when you weren’t next to him, always Taehyung rather than any other royal you knew. Always him. “That my parents would want you as my husband.”

“Why, because I’m the son of your parents’ closest allies?” Taehyung asks, more to himself, a bitter remark because he knows just as well as you do that that’s why this wedding is even happening.

“That, and because I know you best, I suppose,” you mutter mindlessly. Taehyung’s head snaps up at your sentence. “Even if we hate each other, I don’t know any other royal like I know you.”

Taehyung leans back in his chair, mind mulling over every syllable that leaves your mouth. “It’s always been you,” he says like it’s just dawned on him, this final recognition of your constant presence.

“It’s such a shame it had to be like this.” You shake your head sadly, melancholy and wistful.

“Like this?”

You look up at him, gaze into those eyes that look even richer when paired with the navy of his suit and the twinkling of the stars. He looks back at you, eyes blinking. Desperate. “Taehyung, we’re a lie.”

It takes him a second to respond. He always has so much to say but recently you’ve been rendering him speechless, and it’s so frightening to see him when he’s about to say something, unable to come up with the right words to articulate every thought of his brain, tug of his heart. Waiting for Taehyung’s response is always the worst part of any conversation with him.

He nods, looking down and avoiding your watching eyes. “That we are.”

When the meal is long over and the moon is high above your heads, signaling the lateness of the evening, Taehyung walks you back inside before the night becomes even colder, noticing you already shivering and deciding that your time would be better spent indoors. You wrap your hand around his arm, interlocking your bodies as he leads you back to your room, marking an end to this chapter. He’s been silent this entire time, and god, if you don’t hate that feeling between the two of you, tense enough to have you worried but open enough to have you concerned. There’s a fine line between friends, enemies, and lovers, and it seems that you and Taehyung are dancing along all three, dipping your toes into each one with every passing day.

“I had the most wonderful time tonight,” Taehyung says, and you can’t figure out if he’s lying or telling the truth (or both). “Thank you, Princess.”

“The pleasure is mine, Taehyung,” you curtsey as you open your door, ready to take off these heels and call it a night. “I’ve never done this before.”

He hands you another rose, likely the one from the vase on the table on the balcony, and you smile gratefully as you take it from his outstretched fingers. It smells like him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess,” Taehyung repeats, voice low and promising and warm, and you want to envelope yourself in it. With that, he leaves you, walking down the hallway with soft steps until he disappears past a corner, leaving you standing in your gorgeous red dress with a rose in your hand, and a mind that buzzes like never before.

The weather is finally warming up, the cold biting of February turning into the mildly warmer March, lflower buds beginning to decorate the botanical gardens the Kims maintain as everything slowly shifts from a biting grey to a mellow green.

There is less than a month until your wedding.

A week, actually.

And you and Taehyung have visited your kingdom so many times during the past several dozen days that you might as well just move back already. Everything is almost done. Your dress is sitting on a mannequin in the room of your castle, a beautiful thing, hand-sewn specifically for your body and your body only, lacy and frilly and soft, like a cloud. It’s not the princess gown you had always dreamed you’d have as a kid, a poofy, bouncy dress that would emulate the ones you saw in storybooks, but then again, this isn’t exactly the wedding you thought you’d have either.

You’re almost there.

Both of your kingdoms are buzzing with anticipation, eager to see their worlds join together as one when you and Taehyung both stand at the alter, staring at each other as you utter the words, “I do”, excited to see what new changes will be brought from your union. Where will your kingdoms connect? What will you make different? What will you keep the same?

More than anything else, however, is that your union is only symbolic of your shortening time as heirs. With the wedding almost certainly comes coronation, and that is an event you are wholly unprepared for. Sure, you know your way through more diplomatic affairs than you’ll ever need to worry about, you are educated and well-spoken and revered, but that doesn’t make you ready for it.

Thinking about becoming Queen makes you queasy, but don’t tell your parents that.

You and Taehyung have somewhat drifted apart these last couple of weeks, always too involved with your own responsibilities (at least, you are. You don’t know if you can say the same for him) for you to spend much time together. You have the rest of your lives for that. Even for wedding preparations you separate, needing to go to your own clothing fittings and the like. Nowadays, you and Taehyung only see each other during meals and the off-chance that he’s attending your daily lessons.

Everything feels normal, but nothing feels the same. There’s always that sense of dread in the back of your mind, an itching feeling under your skin that just keeps managing to remind you that even if nothing feels different, it is. Reminding you that you are, in fact, getting married next weekend.

It’s a binding agreement. A promise of eternity to him.

You wonder how Taehyung feels.

It’s a week until your wedding and you’re sitting at the table with the tutor the Kim’s have provided you with, lazily writing an essay on a topic you aren’t paying the slightest bit of attention to, winging your way through each paragraph, when you see something pelt the window across from you.

When you look up suddenly, it happens again. There’s a rock, and it smacks against the window before falling away. Narrowing your eyes, you continue to attempt to write when, out of your peripheral, you see a tuft of hair, and then a devious smile.

Taehyung’s standing behind the window, mud on his cheek and grass on his clothes, and he’s staring straight at you. Once he knows he’s got your attention, he motions for you to come and join him, a Cheshire Cat grin spreading across his face. He makes it seem urgent, like you have to be there because your life depends on it, but you know he’s got ulterior motives. Still, this essay is a drag and you’re pretty sure you’re just vomiting onto the page at this point, so you make up some bullshit excuse and dash out, acting like you’ve suddenly got somewhere very important to be.

You bolt up to your room, quickly changing into your peasant garb and meeting Taehyung outside, where he’s casually resting in the grass of the gardens, staring up at the April clouds.

“You summoned me?” You say as you jog up to him, trying to act like you didn’t rush to join him, eager to escape the clutches of your tutor and spend time together.

“You got here fast,” Taehyung comments as he sits up amongst the greenery, looking at you.

“Tutoring is a bore.”

“That’s why I skip it,” Taehyung says happily.

God, you hate that he can just get away with things like that. He skips class all the damn time and nobody bats an eyelash his way, he prances around town charming girls and bakers and merchants alike without a single head turning toward him.

“Why did you need me out here so badly?” You ask, crossing your arms as you look down at him, foot tapping on the ground impatiently as you wait for a reply.

“I wanted to take you out,” Taehyung tells you like it’s no big problem at all.

“I thought you didn’t do dates, Kim,” you say, smirking as you raise a single eyebrow, a corner of your mouth lifting. “What happened to that?”

Taehyung pushes a palm into the dirt to lift himself up off the ground, coming to stand in front of you as he pushes a bit of loose head from the side of your forehead. You’re still smiling smugly at him, but the small action makes your expression falter the slightest bit, mind reeling for a brief moment in time as you take everything in.

“You did.”

He doesn’t give you any time to respond before he’s grabbing your hand and running, through the gardens and past the servant’s quarters, all the way until you’re out of the palace’s view, nearing the city. It’s strange, how you feel your heartbeat increasing with every step you take, the thumping sound only growing when you look down to see your interlocked fingers. You’ve always been like this around him.

“Where are we going, Taehyung?” You ask when he slows down, approaching the entrance to the city, the hubbub of his kingdom. “Where are you taking me?”

He looks back at you and doesn’t hesitate. “Everywhere.”

Everywhere mostly means around the city, the industrial center of the land with bustling streets and crowded sidewalks. He doesn’t let go of your hand, keeping you close to him as you weave your way through the masses, akin to the first time you did this together. He’s got a marketplace just like yours, stalls and stands and tables littered with goodies, secrets, hidden treasures, and it’s the first place he brings you.

“Do you come here often?” You ask, walking next to him.

“Sometimes,” Taehyung responds, the stall with flower bouquets catching his eye. You’re surprised to see such beautiful displays so early in the season, but you suppose anything is possible. He immediately turns toward it, bringing you with him, as he ogles the many colors and arrangements.

The old woman who runs the little thing looks up at your arrival, and from the expression on her face, you can tell that she doesn’t get very many visitors.

“Looking for a flower?” She muses, catching Taehyung by surprise.

“Just browsing,” Taehyung responds shyly. Jesus, you’ve never seen him like this before.

The lady plucks a soft violet flower from one of the bouquets, pulling it out with expertly nimble fingers and handing it over to Taehyung, who blushes profusely as he takes it from her, other hand fumbling in his pocket for payment.

“Bellflower,” the lady tells you. “For her.” When Taehyung holds out some money, she shakes her head, refusing his hand.

Taehyung turns to you, handing over the flower as you smile awkwardly, taking it without a second thought. Twirling it in your hands, you bring it up to your nose, letting the aroma float around you like a hazy cloud. As you’re leaving the stall, Taehyung sneaks some coins the lady’s way, placing them in the small metal watering can by the corner.

“Bellflower,” you repeat when you’re both far from the woman’s stand, still looking down at the flower between your fingers. “That’s what she said.”

“I wonder why she picked it,” Taehyung questions aloud.

“It’s a beautiful color,” you comment, smiling lazily as your mind remembers the act of kindness. “I guess she knew I liked it.”

“It brings out your eyes,” Taehyung says randomly, as though he’s been staring into your irises all this time, like he’s been paying attention to you.

“You are acting strangely romantic today, Taehyung,” you say warily, still with a cheeky grin on your face. “I feel like I’m being played.”

“Just getting in line with the wedding, and all,” Taehyung replies, shrugging. “We’re going to have to deal with it at one point or another.”

You lose track of time in the marketplace, slowly strolling along the dirt paths made just for customers like yourselves. There are so many hidden gems amongst this town, little wooden figurines made to decorate humble homes, dogs and cats and elephants alike. Worn out books, too used to be sold in an actual bookstore, aged and archaic. Dolls, surrounded by eager girls begging their parents for just one more. Rolls of different fabrics, so many more than the constant flow of silk and satin you’re used to in the palace, different prints that your parents would faint at at the thought of you wearing them. You could spend all day standing here, flower in your hand, Taehyung by your side.

Eventually, somehow, Taehyung manages to coax you out, bringing you to the bakery you had visited so many months prior, when the weather was turning cold and you could see people’s breaths leaving their mouths, the smoke that leaves the store every time someone opens the door. Today, it is warmer, but not enough for you not to relish in the warmth you feel from the ovens when you walk in.

Taehyung brings you up to the counter, where his baker friend stands, placing a batch of freshly-baked loaves into a basket. The scent is dizzying, electrifying.

“Back?” The baker asks, looking up. “It’s been quite a while, Taehyung.”

“We’ve gotten busy,” Taehyung says, looking to you as you smile stiffly.

“You’re the one from last time, aren’t you?” The baker says when he meets your eyes, pointing your way with something of an impressed look on his face.

“I told you she was a keeper,” Taehyung says, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close, and for some reason, this time, his words don’t sound forced.

You end up sitting at a corner table, fresh muffins in front of you, still soft and crumbling onto the plates. Everything seems so serene here, the white noise of people coming in and out, like this is a coffee shop instead of a bakery, the blur of people walking outside of the glass window. It’s a scene straight out of a book, a filler chapter right before the big event, an inciting incident or the beginning of the climax, and it has your mind whirring and silent at the same time.

“I thought you said you didn’t date,” you say as Taehyung takes an obnoxious bite of his blueberry muffin. Some things never change.

“I don’t,” Taehyung says, mouth full, crumbs dribbling down his chin.

You scrunch your nose up in confusion. “Then, what is this?”

Taehyung swallows the bite, Adam’s apple bobbing as he scarfs it down. His other hand, the one not covered in muffin dust, is still holding yours as they rest atop the table, thumb rubbing your skin. “A promise. From me to you.”

“What kind of promise?”

“A promise that no matter what, no matter what we go through, no matter where we’ve been, I will always be by your side.”

This feels wrong. Unnatural. Taehyung shouldn’t be telling you those words, stroking your hand with his thumb like it’s second nature to him. He shouldn’t be giving you purple flowers and promising his life to you, like he is. Like he always has. He shouldn’t be taking you on dates and buying you muffins and giving you roses on Valentine’s Day. You hate each other. You always have.

“That’s not a choice,” you mutter to yourself, biting and cold like the winter, unforgiving like a tempest.

“What?” Taehyung asks, mouth full again.

Your muffin is untouched in front of you, turning cold. “You don’t get to promise me that,” you tell him, avoiding his wide-eyed gaze.

“What do you mean, Princess?”

“You don’t get to promise me that you’ll stay by my side. It’s not a promise. It’s a rule.” You can’t bear to look his way.

“It’s not a rule, Princess,” Taehyung says, and he reaches his hand out to keep you close but you’re already backing away. “I want to be by your side. Not because we have to be.”

“We’re not real, Taehyung!” You exclaim, much louder than you wish, voice cracking at the seams, eyes beginning to drown. This is all too much and not enough and you wish this wedding wasn’t a thing, wish that you could live your life without Taehyung constantly interrupting it. “We’re a creation. A fabrication forced together for other people. We aren’t supposed to be like this.”

You’re standing now, muffin forgotten on the table. It’s as good a time as any to dart out, so you begin to turn, heading towards the door. You don’t wait for him, don’t want him to catch up and see you, so once your feet hit the pavement you begin to speed up.

He reaches you anyway, grabs your wrist in the middle of the sidewalk, and time slows down as the two of you meet eyes for a brief moment, but then everything rushes back.

“What’s wrong with us?” He asks, eyes pleading. “Why can’t I tell you these things?”

“Because you don’t mean them!” You cry. “They’re just lies, implications of this fuckup of a marriage.”

“We’re not fucked up, Princess,” Taehyung says, hand grasping yours tightly, keeping you there despite your efforts to wriggle yourself out, go back to the castle and lock yourself in your room for the rest of eternity. “We’re okay. We’re better than okay, actually. We’re us.”

“You don’t mean that,” you whisper to yourself.

Taehyung tugs on your hand, forcing you to look up at him, stare into his deep irises and see them shifting, gold flecks catching in the dimming light of the sun. “I’ve meant everything.”

It’s the final straw, hearing those words. Your resolve snaps in a single break, clean and swift, as does your heart. You feel it tremble within its cage, shaking with every step. You manage to break away from Taehyung’s grip, freeing your hand, and you look up at him with regret and apology and worry, hating the way he looks at you like you’re his fucking world, and you turn on your heel.

“Princess, no,” Taehyung says, reaching out to grab your wrist once more. You hear his voice break, and it makes you want to move faster. “Stay, Princess, please. Don’t leave me just yet.”

It’s too late. You can’t will yourself to stay, look him in the eyes and hear him talk to you like you’re the only thing he cares about, the light at the end of the tunnel, his life right before him. You hear him calling out to you but it turns to haze as the tears freely fall down your cheeks, and you don’t look back as you dash to the castle.

You don’t stop hiccuping until your door is closed behind you, and you sink down against it, hitting the floor with a thud as the world around you seems to cave in.

How can this happen to you? To him? When did the line between hate and love become so blurred, unclear and indistinct? When did he start falling for you?

(When did you start falling back?)

Kim Taehyung has always been attractive, but he’s crass, spoilt, smug. He gets away with murder just because he’s got a crown on his head, spends his free time charming his way into getting what he wants in the town. He pokes and presses every button you have, always able to get under your skin in the most annoying way possible. He’s teasing and taunting and never gives you a break, always got something to complain about. He’s unequipped to run a nation, never sits in for foreign meetings and always debates the topic at hand. He can’t do what you can.

But he’s kind, treating the staff with the respect they often don’t receive from other nobles and royals alike. Generous, sneaking the lady some money even when she insisted she didn’t need it for a single flower given to him. He’s endearing, well-spoken, always got the perfect thing to say on the tip of his tongue. He cares when he needs to. He’s reading again, every so often picking up a book at your recommendation, giving it a chance and actually finding himself enjoying it.

Kim Taehyung is exactly that, and it terrifies you. Things were never supposed to end up this way. You were never supposed to fall in love with him like you did, like you always have. For fuck’s sake, you’re trapped in an arranged marriage with him. Nothing about this should be exciting, yet, here you are.

You wonder where he is. He hasn’t followed you back, you know that much, he’s not in his room, contemplating the same things you are. Perhaps he’s back at the bakery, drowning his sorrows in carbohydrates. Or at the marketplace, letting himself get lost amongst the trinkets. He might even be at the tavern, getting shitfaced wasted, downing drink after drink, trying to schmooze with any girl that catches his eye. The mere thought has you sick to your stomach, leaning over on the floor as you stop the nausea. Taehyung wouldn’t do that to you, you tell yourself. Not a week before your wedding.

You don’t go to sleep that night, only lying in your bed, tears sliding down your cheeks but no cries leaving your lips. Every now and then, Taehyung’s whereabouts cross your mind, but you push the thoughts away, not wishing to think about the girls he might be with right now, the damage he’s doing to his body with every shot he takes.

Your wedding’s in a week, and you wonder how the hell you’ll ever be able to look him in the eyes and say, “I do”, when you want to give him so much more than those two words.

If Taehyung wants to tell you anything, he’s made no effort to do so as the date of your wedding draws nearer and nearer, still avoiding you at all costs even as the night before it fast approaches. You and Taehyung have hardly seen each other this entire week, busy with last-minute wedding preparations, throwing yourself into your work so you don’t have to worry about anything else.

It’s a foolproof plan, keeping your mind occupied so it doesn’t have time to dwell on the conversation you had, the way you left him pleading and begging for you to stay. It’s foolproof, but only until the night before, when everything is in order, not a hair out of place, and your only job is a to get a good night’s sleep to be well rested for tomorrow.

You haven’t had a good night’s sleep since that night.

Is it wrong of you to say that you’re dreading what tomorrow will bring? Lying in wait, anxious beyond belief at what will change once that ring is on your finger, what won’t. Your future is entirely unclear, a thick cloud of unknown in front of you, one you’re hesitant to face, but the only way to go is forward.

At least your parents haven’t caught onto the tension between the two of you yet, the stiffness significantly higher now more than ever before. As long as you smile for the cameras, kiss him whenever and wherever necessary, everything should go as planned. You’ll be married. You’ll be his. He’ll be yours.

The bellflower sits in a vase on your nightstand, beginning to wilt with age, cut off from its food supply. Even so, the petals are as vibrant as always, a brilliant soft violet that lights up your room.

It’s midnight, and you’re getting married today. In no less than twenty-four hours, you will be a new person, a new wife, a new queen.

There’s a familiar knock on your door that shakes you out of your hazy trance, your mind trapped in thought, in worry. You almost don’t want to answer it, but you can’t will yourself to ignore him.

Hesitantly, you reach for the doorknob, hand shaking as it touches the cold metal, trembling as it turns it. When the door creaks open, there he is, there Taehyung is, standing on the other side, staring at his feet, not wanting to meet your wide eyes.

“Taehyung?” You ask, getting his attention.

He glances up carefully, slowly, meeting your gaze, and only then do you see the toll your relationship (or lack thereof) has taken on him. His hair is ruffled, unkempt and messy unlike it normally is, his cheeks are sallow, hollow, and the bags under his eyes are more pronounced than you’ve ever seen him. Has he been like this, all this time? Just like you?

“Princess,” he says softly, and the word is music to your ears. To him, it’s as if a weight is lifted off of his chest, finally letting him breathe again.

“Taehyung,” you repeat, unable to bring yourself to say anything other than his name. It feels like home. He feels like home.

“You didn’t stay, that day,” he says, and the pain in his voice has your heart crumbling, quivering. What kind of a toll has this week been on him? “I was going to give you something. Tell you everything.”

“What were you going to say?” You ask.

“I mean it. All of it,” he tells you firmly, and the certainty in his unfaltering words has tears threatening to tumble from your eyes, drip down your cheeks like they do so often these days. “Every last word.”

“Taehyung?”

“If you give someone a bellflower, it means that the person on the other end has the giver’s unwavering love,” Taehyung informs you, glancing over to the dying flower on your bedside table. “I love you, Princess.”

They’re words you never expected to hear but somehow, always dreamed of. They stick in your brain like honey, but they have yet to sink in, you have yet to feel the weight of them upon your shoulders.

“Tell me again.”

Taehyung wastes no time following your request. “I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you, Princess Y/N. I always have, and I always will.”

Finally, finally, finally, you breathe out a sigh of pure, unadulterated happiness.

“I love you, too,” you murmur.

Taehyung’s whole expression brightens, and God, if that doesn’t light up your world like a thousand fucking suns. “You do?”

“More than I can say with words.” You nod, tears falling freely anyway, only this time, they’re joyful. “More than I will ever be able to express to you.”

“Then don’t,” Taehyung says quickly.

“What?”

“Don’t tell me with words.”

With that, Taehyung is pressing his hands to your cheeks and pulling you close, placing his lips firmly on yours, and nothing has ever felt more right than this moment, here in the darkness of a sleeping castle on the night before your wedding, where you and Taehyung are one. He doesn’t let go, doesn’t even give you time to fucking breathe (not that you would, anyway—he takes your breath away), moving his lips over and over and over, keeping the two of you locked together. Your hands make their way to his chest, palms pressed flat against the silk of his shirt as he brings you closer, closer, closer.

Eventually, the two of you have to part, breathing heavily with your foreheads pressed up against each other. Your hands make their way around his neck as you stand there, catching all the breath you need, only for him to take it away with a single glance.

“I have to give you something,” Taehyung says, stepping back to fish through his pockets. “I wanted to give it to you, um, back then, but I never got the chance to.”

You rack your brain for anything he might have hidden from you, any gifts he bought in plain sight just to give to you, but come up short. Instead, you watch him as he sinks down on one knee, opening a little velvet box. Inside rests a ring with a scratch on the jewel.

“Princess Y/N,” Taehyung says, clearing his throat and making you giggle, “I have loved you for as long as I can remember, but I only managed to work up the courage to confess to you now, in the dim light of the palace corridor. You are my sun, my moon, my stars, and all of the planets, my night and my day, and I will love you forever more. Will you do me the honor and marry me?”

This is how it’s supposed to be, you think as you furiously nod, too speechless to say anything, overwhelmed by every emotion in the book. Taehyung stands up with a beam on his face, taking your hand and placing the ring on your finger, the extra scratch on it making it glint, even in the faint hallway light. Everything feels strangely complete now, even with your whole lives ahead of you.

“Who’d have thought, huh?” Taehyung asks, looking from you to the ring on your finger to the Bellflower in your room.

You muse to yourself, letting him envelope you in his arms once more. “Who’d have thought.”

You’ve never been so excited to see what tomorrow will bring you.

⇒ talk to me and hmu with feedback !!

[juunshua]

Oh dw about it love - i've been recovering from surgery so I wasn't sure if I sent in the ask or it it was a part of an elaborate pain-medication-induced dream. Def agree with soyang because I feel that same way whenever I listen to that performance. I was expecting support but not fucking resonance on nearly every! fucking! note! (pls excuse my language), like she needed to in order to breathe. Fuck man that song touched my soul and made me walk around holding it. The percision, the ease (1/)

The agility, the clarity. Just. Fuck. As for jeonghan, I think it's a mixture of both. Even back in 17tv, he had a decent sense of rhythm and how to not hurt himself. There's a clip of Joshua teaching jeonghan choreo and jeonghan does it with better distributed strength. From what Ive seen every member's technique has gotten better, just that some of them seem to be more focused on the final shape whereas others are focused on the movement, which is why Jeonghan stands out because he (2/)Seems to have gone for both and boy does it pay off. Seungkwan too also has a good understanding of the fundamentals. Maybe because he has spent so much time with Vernon and hoshi but nevertheless he is a vocalist who is more comfortable than not with dancing. Idk of he can freestyle an eight count yet but definite improvement from where he was in adore u. As for choreo like thanks, idk if there is one bc its a mixture of many genres and styles characteristic of certain choerographers (3/).There's Paula Abdul in the transitions, Bob fosse in the staging, KK Harris in the speed and smoothness, and a little of Fred astire in the grace. Then underneath all of that is the physical movement with modern, contemporary jazz, and soft hip hop. Quite a few formally trained dancers come to mind. Victoria, Fei and Jia (formerly of miss A) Winwin (NCT) Cheng Xiao (WJSN) in traditional Chinese dance. Daisy (Momoland) Yein (Lovelyz) in ballet. Gayoung and Junyeol (Stellar) in jazz (3/)Woosung (Snuper) Kyungil (formerly of History) Hwall (The Boyz) and Momo (Twice) all did contemporary. Sinb (gfriend) was also heavily involved in the jazz dance scene in her youth. Im sure I've forgotten some people but there has been a definite increase in the number of idols with studio training. Before it used to be only Stephanie and Lee Joon. Thats not to say theyve kept up with technique but it comes through in how they prepare themselves for certain moves or phrases (5/).Foot over knee isn't ideal but a stylistic decision. If you want to see a performance taht combinds good technique with artistry, I encourage you to check out the six flying dragons stage at ultra dance festival. Banging choreo, song is a tune, and everyone does well. Believe it or not, JYP and SM actually have had some of the most well balanced groups in terms of dancing. More so in the past but pretty reliable in making sure their dancers don't get hurt because theyre doing something wrong (6)

ahhh i hope everything went well with the surgery!and yes she is an absolute queen!! technical approach + thinking about something musically + putting a lot of emotions in a song isn’t! impossible! to do! all! at once!!!ooh movement vs final shape, what’s the difference? like the transition to the move verse making sure the final pose looks nice? ooh are hoshi and vernon the better dancers in the group or? also yeah i don’t know much about the technical aspects of dancing but boo, to me, seems to at least have some control over his body when it comes to dancing? alskdjf idk what im trying to say. like idk if he’s doing things technically right, but i do like how his dancing looks like to my eyes but hooray! im glad that all the members have been improving at least in their dance! i went back and rewatched a lot of jeonghan fancams, and although i cant see anything personally in terms of what he’s doing right and what he’s doing wrong, watching him was a real pleasure!! ohhh thank you for answering the question about thanks!! i should look into those choreographers bc i quite frankly have no knowledge about them! and ahh ur kpop knowledge seems to expand vaster than mine. i do know a lot of these groups but i didn’t know a lot of them had people actually formally trained, nor that there were significantly fewer people in the past. but i feel as though bc the market just keeps getting more saturated, ur bound to find more people formally trained in dancing of some sort? and im sure having formal training is an asset when companies do pick trainees so ? and alsjdf i was about to ask that, that whether or not any of them maintained what they learned in the studio, esp since a lot of ppl become trainees at such a young age, they may not necessarily continue those more private dance lessons? im not sure how trainee life works but. i just watched that performance and it was absolutely gorgeous!!!! its really amazing when groups can come together and put together spectacular performances like that one wow that was really good...the girl in the beginning (stephanie i think?) stole the entire performance but thats just me. i couldnt leave my eyes off her she was the highlight for me. oh jyp too? im not surprised about sm since they’re pretty ok with voice technique, so it would make sense theyd be good about dance technique too, but jyp hmm thats so interesting! although i guess compared to singing, dancing is a bit more, structured in society’s eyes? im sure people realize the importance of not overexerting and damaging ur actual physical body (whereas it wouldnt be /as/ obvious with ur voice i suppose?) so maybe they realize that at jyp but laksdj im glad like the big three at the v least i think should have the money and resources to make sure their trainees and idols aren’t hurting themselves while they do their job (idk what ** is doing but you know) 

[rkroyalsurvival-blog]

Episode start.

Like most bittersweet moments, it begins with the good. Lucky viewers with their volumes turned up are hooked in by the catchy tune of “Team” as the intro VTR plays in at the start. Thirteen girls with hopes and dreams are seen on screen, each one beautiful and each one talented in her own right. But, when ‘Royal Survival’ appears at its conclusion, it’s a reminder that not all endings can be purely optimistic. Despite the good feelings of friendship developing behind the scenes, despite the talents that are seen onstage and the performances that will rock a nation, in the end it’s about survival of the fittest.

The audience is reminded of the previous episode’s events when a familiar image of So Jisub inside the performance venue appears. “Your second challenge is going to show me exactly what you’re capable of,” he tells the gathered girls with a handsome smile upon his face. “Idols need to be able to perform well as a team. I will personally be sorting you and you will be asked to perform one of Royal Entertainment’s past hit songs in front of an invited audience. For many of you up there, this will be your comeback opportunity to be placed on the Major team.”

It’s the shining goal of all. For those who want to take a spot, as well as those who want to protect theirs. As soon as the girls are dismissed from the stage, the preparations for the next phase begin in full onslaught. The audience gets to see Yoo Jaekyung pulling out the groups one by one to teach them the choreography. Jo Eunae is seen barefoot by the studio’s mirrors, her feet visibly in rough condition as she attempts to sing along to an unheard melody. Her group member, Lee Jihyun, equally practices hard on the choreography. Anyone familiar with “Goodbye Baby” might recognize the iconic moves of the song but, to those who aren’t, all they see a female trainee forced to the point of exhaustion as she goes over the dance repeatedly.

“Honestly, I think I’d like to see myself or Jihyun finally make it into major,” Nam Dawon is heard speaking as she’s pictured inside the interview room. A smiling girl with a quiet aura, she continues on with an honest tone, “But thinking that way is kind of scary because I also feel like she’s my strongest competition to get there.” A clip is shown of Dawon being aided by Lee Jieun as they both practice their group choreography together. Missteps are frequent and so is the determination on Dawon’s face as she repeats the steps again. “Even when I was little, I knew that I wanted to become a singer. Singing is all that I’ve ever known. It’s what I’m best at… which led me to realize my dream of becoming an idol. My family and I have gone through so much just for me to reach this point, so… I have to debut, no matter what.”

As the girls rehearse separately, the preparations for the filming continue on elsewhere: So Jisub is seen meeting with his producers to speak about concepts, as well as with Yoo Jaekyung to discuss the choreography progress, and once, he is even seen silently watching a rehearsal through the practice studio’s window as the third group is taught the dance to “Be My Baby.” Admittedly, this is the group he’s the most concerned about, and Jisub watches Manoban Lalisa with a critical eye as she asks numerous questions out of Jaekyung: “Is this right?” “Do we tilt our head during this part?” “What count is this on?” Her attention to perfection doesn’t go unobserved; rather, it coaxes a warm smile out of Royal’s CEO. He watches the group dance for a few moments longer and then departs.

October 1st, 2017, the day of the filming.

Staffers clothed in their professional blacks move quickly backstage to add lights where needed around the stage. The stage manager barks out orders and So Jisub is seen conversing with a clipboard-holding producer beside one of the cameras. An anonymous audience has filled up most of the venue’s front rows of seats, their faces alternately excited and anxious to see who’s about to appear onstage for the first time. For many, most of these trainees are still unknown to the public, while others have already worked their way into viewers’ hearts. Handmade signs cheering for Kim Yubin and Lee Jihyun are seen held by several teenage girls and boys. Another one, for Jegal Seoyoung, is glittering and pink.

“For me, being a singer is the only thing I ever wanted to do!” Jegal Seoyoung admits inside the interview room, throwing up her arms in excitement as she speaks. “Honestly, people never noticed me that much in school, but… I was always happy when I was on stage. Eomma and Appa in Daegu, my cousin Jaebum here in Seoul… and all my other cousins, thank you. I hope you’re all watching. I love you!”

A quiet hush descends over the crowd as the lights go dark. The camera operators are ready with anticipation, their cameras’ red lights blinking as the first group comes out to take their places on center stage. The live audience will get two chances to see them but, for the viewers at home, they only get to see the best of what this selected group of girls can offer. Lee Jihyun, Lee Soohyun, Jo Eunae, and Kim Seolhyun all take their opening position on the floor and then the music begins. It’s “Goodbye Baby” by the Brave Girls in all its glory.

Throughout the performance, Jisub maintains a neutral expression as he watches. The viewers can see that he’s been joined by Yoo Jaekyung once again but both are careful to keep their faces free of bias as they watch the repeated performance back to back. When the first group has finished, the CEO takes a moment to converse with Jaekyung quietly before writing down some notes on a pad in front of him. He waves to the producer, who in turn tells the audience to remain quiet as the girls are called forward to the stage.

Jisub takes a microphone that is handed to him and faces the first group with a warm smile. “Hello, ladies. How did that feel?” The lines around his eyes crease with a pleased appearance as he continues. “Overall, this was incredibly impressive. When I picked you four to group up together, I did so while knowing all of you are good enough to work well together -- and to boost up those who might be further behind.” He glances at Lee Jihyun and the camera follows, making it clear about which girl he’s referring to. “That being said… Jo Eunae.” Jisub turns to face the rapper with a more solemn gaze. “You’ve been a favorite of mine so far, yet it’s clear that you still have a long way to go with improving your onstage performance. Your rap is good -- could be better, but still good -- as well as your dancing, yet it appears to me that you struggle very clearly when you’re asked to do both together.” Jisub pauses, his face betraying his reluctance as he continues. “Unfortunately, it’s too amateur-looking for what I require. Eunae, you’ll be going to the ‘Bottom Three’ tonight.”

“Lee Jihyun,” he addresses the girl next. “Congratulations, you will take her place in Majors along with both Seolhyun and Soohyun, who are both safe in Majors as well. All three of you displayed an excellent show of talent as well as being able to keep up with the vocals and the choreography at the level I want to see. It’s a good sign, and all three of you should feel very happy with this performance.”

Jisub sets the microphone aside as the girls are asked by the producers to leave and make way for the second group. Nam Dawon, Kim Yubin, Jegal Seoyoung, and Lee Jieun join the stage and the previously shocked audience erupts into cheers as fan favorites appear. The staff waits for Jisub’s hand signal before the music and the performance begins. As before, the CEO watches the repeat performances with a critical eye for the condition of all the singers, the main rapper, and the overall group synchronization as “Over U” is performed twice for his observation.

When it’s over, the male exhales slowly and sits back in his seat. The audience murmurs loudly but no one can hear the exchange occurring between Jaekyung and So Jisub as they debate over these current four. It’s not until the girls are in their judgment positions at the front of the stage that the CEO picks up the microphone to speak for the second time. “Admittedly… this went a lot better than I thought,” he confesses with a small chuckle. “I meant for these concepts to challenge you all and, for some, I see it did.” He eyes Nam Dawon in particular, in which the camera also follows. “Dawon, as I said before: your voice is probably the best in this competition. Not everyone in a group needs to shine as the most charismatic, but you should at least have a great talent in order to make up for it. Dawon, every time you open your mouth to sing, I don’t think anyone can possibly focus on anything else but where it’s coming from. Because of that quality, it’s your right to join Major group.” He lets that sink in, to the answering applause of the audience, before switching his attention to the other girls.

“Jegal Seoyoung, you are also safe for this challenge. Your singing and dancing was well done, and I compliment the energy I saw onstage.” He hesitates again, wanting to delay the inevitable until Jaekyung gives him a meaningful look to continue. “Kim Yubin, I told you last week that I admired your experience in performing in front of a camera. Dealing with a wardrobe malfunction counts and I doubt many others actually noticed what went wrong there,” he notes with wry amusement. “That being said, you need to improve on your ability to dance while you perform a vocal part in a song. Breath control can be improved and I suggest you do so if only to better yourself as a performer. Until then, you may stay in Majors for now.” He looks to Lee Jieun next, and the choreographer sitting behind him visibly tenses in her seat. “Jaekyung insists I keep you here, Jieun, but… in all honesty, I can’t see a place in my girl group for a trainee who can only dance and nothing else. You’re good at what you do, without a doubt, but you must have another skill you can show me, Jieun, as your singing is not the level where it needs to be. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to ask you to be in the ‘Bottom Three’ tonight. Please wait with Eunae until later.”  

Shouts of dismay follow his announcement but it’s soon swallowed up by louder cheers and applause when the third group of Jung Soojung, Park Chaeyoung, Ahn Hyojin, Yang Jiwon and Manoban Lalisa appears. The show keeps moving, staff buzzing around to prepare the stage and the signal given by the CEO when he’s gathered himself and is ready for the last group to take the stage. The music begins and there’s no hiding the concern on Jisub’s face now as he watches this final lineup do their best on perhaps the most energetic pick of the songs. H.A.M. is iconic for their feminine charm and energy and the girls he’d picked for this concept are quite the opposite: some are dull with their stage presence and others struggle with the quick-step choreography that takes them all around the stage.

By the time he picks up the microphone for the third time, So Jisub has already made peace with his decision. This time, Jaekyung doesn’t bother to interfere as the male leans forward to address all the girls with a polite smile. “I was perhaps the most unfair to you five,” he admits to them with a quiet laugh. “H.A.M. is a hard act to cover and I chose it already knowing most of you can’t dance well, or even sing at that level. Still, it was fun to try, right?” He turns his head to address Jung Soojung and Park Chaeyoung first. “Soojung and Rose, while you both still lack stage presence on a regrettable level, it’s undeniable to me, after watching this performance, that you both deserve to be in the Majors consideration. Not only can you both sing well, but I have also witnessed a noticeable improvement in your dancing for this stage. You are listening to my critiques and improving upon your weaknesses, which is something I appreciate greatly. Congratulations, you two may join the Major group.” Jisub switches focus to the last three and considers them all at length before finally continuing. “Jiwon, you are safe in Minor this week. While your singing was very good, you  lack the ability to do so while dancing at the same time. Multitasking is hard for anyone, I know, but idols cannot do without this skill, Jiwon. I’ll ask you to continue working on it.”

“Elly, your rap part was very good this week,” he tells Ahn Hyojin kindly. “Despite lacking the fundamental basics of dance, it’s hard to ignore how distinct your voice is when it comes to your solo verse. No doubt you are the best-sounding rapper here and I’m inclined to keep you on because of it. You are safe in Minors. That means, Lisa,” he tells Manoban Lalisa with a regretful glance in her direction, “I’ll be seeing you in the ‘Bottom Three’ along with Jieun and Eunae. All three of you, please gather at the front of the stage.”

A break is given in real time on the filming day for the staff to clear out the studio audience for this private elimination. During this time when the cameras aren’t recording, the girls are allowed to be on stage together while adjustments are made by the crew in preparation for the “elimination” segment. No one at home gets to see the way the lights are changed behind the scenes, nor do they get to see the private moments the girls have with one another before the “five minute warning” is called. The stage manager tells the girls that only the remaining three contestants can be on the stage while the rest will be allowed to wait backstage in order to hear the results. When everyone is ready to continue, the lights of the cameras flash back on to focus on the trio of Jieun, Lisa, and Eunae. These three are positioned at the very front of the stage where they can see So Jisub clearly as he speaks to them from his familiar table in the center.

“This… is a decision I’ve wavered back and forth on for quite awhile,” Jisub confesses in a sincere tone. “I like all of you for different reasons. Each one of you brings something to the table I can’t find anywhere else: Eunae, who raps as well as she dances and possesses a natural charisma that’s hard to find elsewhere; Jieun, whose dance skill eclipses many and who has so much potential as a performer; and you, Lisa, who is the epitome of star quality. I’ve seen all three of you rise and fall to these past two challenges and it doesn’t make my choice any easier.” The CEO inhales deeply and then exhales on a quiet sigh.

“The one going home tonight… is Lee Jieun.” He looks directly at her and keeps his tone comforting, while controlled. “Jieun, right now, you are too focused in dance and, while I appreciate the level of skill in that you possess, it has unfortunately limited you on what else you can provide for a group’s balance. I don’t need just dancers, I need dancers who can also sing or rap or contribute something to a performance other than a few seconds of a dance break. Jieun, you have done well to make it this far and I know you will continue to improve yourself as a trainee in the future.”

Jisub looks to Lisa and Eunae next. “Lisa, you are safe because you already have made great strides in improving your stage skills even in this short time. I appreciate that kind of determination to change and I will be observing whether you keep up with it or not. Eunae,” he calls to the other and nods shortly, “As I said before, you have great potential, but you are lacking with your overall performance technique. Both of you will go to Minors this week and will hopefully come up with a way to win yourself a place in Majors after this next, even tougher challenge.”

The staff urges the rest of the girls waiting backstage to come out once So Jisub has finished his declaration. The CEO waits for them to gather together as group at the center of the stage before he stands up to his full height and addresses them all with a serious intent. “The producers have told me that many of you have grown fond of each other in these past few weeks, with budding friendships and becoming closer as teammates. I’m glad to hear it, of course, as the girls who survive this show will be friends, teammates, and colleagues who will have to weather the storm of public scrutiny together as soon as they debut. However…” Jisub looks at each girl in the eye before continuing firmly, “... you must remember that you are also competition here. Working together for this last challenge was fun as well as necessary, but now you must prove to me why you, and not another singer, or another rapper, deserves to be in the final group lineup. For the next time, you will go head to head in a one-to-one battle to take each other’s spots in the Major and Minor groups.”

End of episode.

EPISODE 3, Writing Prompt:

As So Jisub explained at the end of the episode, the time has now come for the contestants to prove their individual worth in a one-to-one battle challenge. With the numbers now even among the girls, each contestant will be assigned a competitor she will have to face off against for the next episode. Each contestant will have the total span of 3 minutes to perform whatever she would like to for her challenge performance. Singers aren’t limited to singing, rappers aren’t limited to rapping; no matter your skill-set, you may choose a variety of skills to show off or even just your strongest for So Jisub to decide how you measure up against your opponent. Regardless of current placements, only one girl in each pairing gets to Major while the other will go to Minor.

The assigned competitors are as follows:

Kim Yubin vs. Ahn Hyojin

Kim Seolhyun vs. Manoban Lalisa

Park Chaeyoung vs. Yang Jiwon

Lee Soohyun vs. Lee Jihyun

Nam Dawon vs. Jung Soojung

Jegal Seoyoung vs. Jo Eunae

You will be allowed to prepare for your challenge as you see fit in the days leading up to the filming to October 15th. You will only get to perform once for the cameras on that day but there will be plenty of time before then for costume fittings and a dress rehearsal prior to the filming time on the 15th. You will perform in the above chronological order, with Yubin being the first to perform her challenge, and Eunae being the last to perform. Also, as a special reward for having worked through the Chuseok holiday for the last challenge, the girls will be allowed two free days, October 12th-13th, to have their loved ones visit them at the dormitory complex.

For this episode’s writing opportunities:

Required: write a 300+ word performance solo about your muse performing her battle challenge. Optional: write a 300+ word preparation solo about any event leading up to the battle challenge. This can include rehearsals, costume fittings, dress rehearsals, etc. Optional: write a 250+ word interview with your muse reacting to the events unveiled during this episode. As before, you do not have to answer all of these, and you are allowed to come up with your own questions for this interview. However, all questions for this episode’s interview should relate to these following topics:

How do you feel about the results of the last episode?

What do you think is your biggest strength? Your biggest weakness

What do you think of your competitor? What would you like to say to her before your challenge?

How do you plan to show your skills better than your competitor?

The reward for writing the required solo is +10 SKILL POINTS TO BE DISTRIBUTED AS YOU WISH, +10 CHARISMA POINTS, and +5 DEBUT points, as well earning +1 week of a RELEVANT ACHIEVEMENT. Additionally, all girls will automatically receive +1 week VARIETY achievement for being present during Episode 3. Point forms will always be due the Wednesday after a deadline passes; this means for Episode 3, verification forms should be submitted after the Activity Check post on Wednesday, October 18th. These form dates have been added to the writing schedule, so refer to it periodically to make sure everything is being submitted on time!

ROYAL SURVIVAL EPISODE 3 (for the Oct 18th form)

[ x ]  *one 300+ word performance solo

+10 ____ POINTS

+10 CHARISMA POINTS

+ 5 DEBUT POINTS

+1 WK RELEVANT ACHIEVEMENT (CURRENT LEVEL + NUMBER OF TIMES TAKEN)

+1 WK VARIETY ACHIEVEMENT (CURRENT LEVEL + NUMBER OF TIMES TAKEN)

+ NEW DEBUT POINTS TOTAL:

The deadline for all solos is midnight EST at the end of October 15th, and please tag each solo (including the interview) with #royalsurvival3. If you have any questions, feel free to send them to the Royal Survival inbox!

[jeongyeon]

gif tutorial!

this is for u anon! and anyone else that was wondering how i make gifs, i’m not really good at explaining but i’ll try to make it easy! gifs really aren’t hard once you get the hang of it! So, first you need photoshop, I use cs5 and i downloaded it from here. they have lots of tutorials and things for gifs like actions/psds. Next i’m not really sure....I use avisynth now so I don’t need any like..clip cutters or anything but here are some good resources for those i think. if you DO want to learn avisynth these are the ones i used to learn/how to install it (1 , 2). either way you need a way to get the specific part you want to gif! For me trying to import video frames to layers with the full video in photoshop and choose a small part is too hard/slow, so I think these are the best ways. basically once you have ALL that the actually gif process is a lot easier, once you get the clip you want to use!  so when you have your clip, open up photoshop, go to file, scroll to import and then click video frames to layers

depending on the video it might have duplicate layers, it might not, mine usually do so I click limit to every 2 so it deletes the extra ones, then click OK and it will load all the frames 

when it’s all loaded you can delete all the frames you don’t want/need in your gif to make it smaller, this one was about 85 frames, which is fine since the size is only 178x260 if it’s a bigger size like 540 or 268 you’re not gonna be able to have as many frames! next what i do is i click the little drop arrow, then click select all frames so I can set my timing 

I usually click other and set the timing to .07, the timing changes depending on how many frames I have but this is the timing i use most 

when I get the timing set I go into layers and right click, select similar layers, then I click the little button that  says convert to timeline, I circled it with red jkfhg

after converting it to timeline and selecting all layers, right click layers again and choose convert to smart object 

after that it makes it into one layer basically where I can put my action/sharpening on it, I got this action from yeahps, I really only use Action 01 for everything, so you click the action then press the little play button (circled in red) and your layers should look like this 

here it is without the action

here it is WITH the action, it’s not a huge difference but it looks better

next is the coloring/psd! if you have a psds, for me I already giffed this before so I saved the coloring for it, all you do is click file, then open

then you choose the psd that you want to use and click open again

next all you do is just grab the psd and drag it onto your new gif

for every scene/clip...the lighting might be different so you might have to adjust to make the coloring look similar, just play around with each layer until it looks good! then you go to save it, just go to file again, and click Save for Web & Devices...when you do that the whole thing will pop up and to the right it will have all this, these are my settings for almost all my gifs, for live performances i might change pattern to diffusion, sometimes that works better but I use pattern like 99.9% of the time

after all that you just hit save and....save it, then upload it to tumblr or wherever! but they usually look best on tumblr, here’s what my finished gif looks like! 

*also an important note, if you’re making gifs for tumblr make sure they’re the right size! A lot of people still use the old dimensions 500 for one, 245 for two, 177 for 3. I use the updated sizes which are 540, 268, 177/178 for the middle of a 3 set. and the current size that a gif can be is under 3mb it will tell you the size in the bottom left corner when you go to save

[earlybeck]

tell me, is that love?” she cast him a blazing smile. “It sounds like it.” “then I love you, my wonderful, sword-wielding, tart-tongued angel. I want you to be my wife. I want you to preside over my table and accompany me to balls and share my bed.” a most uncharacteristic happiness surged through him.

“Suppose he really is in love. What about her? She never has anything good to say about him.” “Yet she blushes whenever he enters a room. and she stares at him a good deal. Or hadn’t you noticed that, either?” “as a matter of fact, I have.” Gazing up at him, she softened her tone. “But I do not want her hurt, Isaac. I must be sure she is desired for herself and not her fortune. her siblings had a chance of not gaining their inheritance unless the others married, so I always knew that their mates loved them, but she…” She shook her head. “I had to find a way to remove her fortune from the equation.” “I still say you’re taking a big risk.” He glanced beyond her to where Celia was talking to the duke. “Do yo really think she’d be better off with Lyons?” but she doesn’t love him…If you’d just give her a chance “I do not know,” Hetty said with a sigh. “I do not know anything anymore.” “then you shouldn’t meddle. Because there’s another outcome you haven’t considered. If you try to manipulate matters to your satisfaction, she may balk entirely. then you’ll find yourself in the sticky position of having to choose between disinheriting them all or backing down on your ultimatum. Personally, I think you should have given up that nonsense long ago, but I know only too well how stubborn you can be when you’ve got the bit between your teeth.” “Oh?” she said archly. “Have I been stubborn with you?” he gazed down at her. “You haven’t agreed to marry me yet.” her heart flipped over in her chest. It was not the first time he had mentioned marriage, but she had refused to take him seriously. until now. It was clear he would not be put off any longer. he looked solemnly in earnest. “Isaac…” “Are you worried that I am a fortune hunter?” “do not be absurd.” “because I’ve already told you that I’ll sign any marriage settlement you have your solicitor draw up. I don’t want your brewery or your vast fortune.  I only want you.” the tender words made her sigh like a foolish girl. “I realize that. but why not merely continue as we have been?” his voice lowered. “because I want to make you mine in every way.” a sweet shiver swept along her spine. “We do not need to marry for that.” “So all you want from me is an affair?” “No! but “ “I want more than that. I want to go to sleep with you in my arms and wake with you in my bed. I want the right to be with you whenever I please, night or day.” his tone deepened. “I love you, Hetty. and when a man loves a woman, he wants to spend his life with her.” “but at our age, people will say-“ “Our age is an argument for marriage. We might not have much time left. Why not live it to the fullest, together, while we’re still in good health? Who cares about what people say? life is too short to let other people dictate one’s choices.” She leaned heavily on his arm as they reached the steps leading up to the dais at the front of the ballroom. he did have a point. She had been balking at marrying him because she was sure people would think her a silly old fool. but then, she had always been out of step with everyone else. Why should this be any different? “I shall think about it,” she murmured as they headed to the center of the dais, where the family was gathering. “I suppose I’ll have to settle for that. for now.” he cast her a heated glance. “but later this evening, once we have the chance to be alone, I shall try m ore effective methods to persuade you.  because I’m not giving up on this. I can be as stubborn as you, my dear.”

She bit back a smile. Thank God for that.

Sabrina Jeffries, A Lady Never Surrender

Y-You love me ?”

gazing down at her pert nose and the freckles that made him think of an adorable pixie, he felt his throat constrict. “I want you every hour of the day. I can’t imagine a future without you in it. the idea of returning to my empty house alone is so hellish that I’d rather wander the world at your heels than be without you. tell me, is that love?” She cast him a blazing smile. “It sounds like it.” “then I love you, my wonderful, sword-wielding, tart-tongued angel. I want you to be my wife. I want you to preside over my table and accompany me to balls and share my bed.” a most uncharacteristic happiness surged through him.

a sudden understanding lit her face. his clever love didn’t miss the fact that he was offering her not just himself, but everything else he’d neglected, as well. Everything that he wanted to put to rights. that he needed to put to rights.

“Not filling every room, I hope,” she teased, even as tears shone in her eyes. “there are three hundred, after all.”

“then I suppose we’ll have to get started right away,” he said, matching her light tone. his heart near to bursting, he reached again for the buttons on the back of her gown. “these things should never be left until the last minute.”

as a laugh of pure joy bubbled out of her, she began to untie his cravat. “I can see you’re going to be quite the lusty husband, aren’t you ?”

he stripped her gown from her, then turned her around to undo her stays. “You have no idea,” he murmured, and filled his hands with the breasts he’d freed. moaning, she pressed her bottom against him. “I have some idea.”

Sabrina Jeffries, The Truth About Lord Stoneville

06.21.26.04 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

06.21.26.04 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

clip upload : 18.07.21 pm **in memories to both. - witty, piquant, minded and exquisite women in my life. ** ok. take care. miss u. on 15.11.2009 | **yes on t way - message on 01.12.12 ** at **** ***** .. taking u turn. message on 10.11.2012.

06.21.26.04 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

clip upload : 18.07.26 pm **in memories to both. - witty, piquant, minded and exquisite women in my life. ** ok. take care. miss u. on 15.11.2009 | **yes on t way - message on 01.12.12 ** at **** ***** .. taking u turn. message on 10.11.2012.

06.21.26.04 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

clip upload : 18.11.21 pm **in memories to both. - witty, piquant, minded and exquisite women in my life. ** ok. take care. miss u. on 15.11.2009 | **yes on t way - message on 01.12.12 ** at **** ***** .. taking u turn. message on 10.11.2012.

06.21.26.04 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

clip upload : 18.11.26 pm **in memories to both. - witty, piquant, minded and exquisite women in my life. ** ok. take care. miss u. on 15.11.2009 | **yes on t way - message on 01.12.12 ** at **** ***** .. taking u turn. message on 10.11.2012.

06.21.26.04 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

clip upload : 18.14.26 pm **in memories to both. - witty, piquant, minded and exquisite women in my life. ** ok. take care. miss u. on 15.11.2009 | **yes on t way - message on 01.12.12 ** at **** ***** .. taking u turn. message on 10.11.2012.

06.21.26.04 am | a happy new day wishes - I want morning and noon and nightfall with you. I want your tears, your smiles, your kisses. missing you and no. 2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. one love, one heart, one destiny.

You - m i S S

#3645

to them - listen adequate music : c - d - s - k - k - a

post time : 06.21.26.14 pm

VW - NS - us being in fervent love.

pic : www.katchsilva.com

pic : www.thekitcheners.co.uk

the greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. - Bob Marley

[earlyback]

“because I want to make you mine in every way.” a sweet shiver swept along her spine. “We do not need to marry for that.”“So all you want from me is an affair ?” “No! but “ “I want more than that. I want to go to sleep with you in my arms and wake with you in my bed. I want the right to be with you whenever I please, night or day.

Y-You love me ?” gazing down at her pert nose and the freckles that made him think of an adorable pixie, he felt his throat constrict. “I want you every hour of the day. I can’t imagine a future without you in it. the idea of returning to my empty house alone is so hellish that I’d rather wander the world at your heels than be without you. tell me, is that love?” She cast him a blazing smile. “It sounds like it.” “then I love you, my wonderful, sword-wielding, tart-tongued angel. I want you to be my wife. I want you to preside over my table and accompany me to balls and share my bed.” a most uncharacteristic happiness surged through him. 

a sudden understanding lit her face. his clever love didn’t miss the fact that he was offering her not just himself, but everything else he’d neglected, as well. Everything that he wanted to put to rights. that he needed to put to rights.

“Not filling every room, I hope,” she teased, even as tears shone in her eyes. “there are three hundred, after all.”

“then I suppose we’ll have to get started right away,” he said, matching her light tone. his heart near to bursting, he reached again for the buttons on the back of her gown. “these things should never be left until the last minute.”

as a laugh of pure joy bubbled out of her, she began to untie his cravat. “I can see you’re going to be quite the lusty husband, aren’t you ?”

he stripped her gown from her, then turned her around to undo her stays. “You have no idea,” he murmured, and filled his hands with the breasts he’d freed. moaning, she pressed her bottom against him. “I have some idea.”

Sabrina Jeffries, The Truth About Lord Stoneville

“Suppose he really is in love. What about her? She never has anything good to say about him.” “Yet she blushes whenever he enters a room. and she stares at him a good deal. Or hadn’t you noticed that, either?” “as a matter of fact, I have.” Gazing up at him, she softened her tone. “But I do not want her hurt, Isaac. I must be sure she is desired for herself and not her fortune. her siblings had a chance of not gaining their inheritance unless the others married, so I always knew that their mates loved them, but she…” She shook her head. “I had to find a way to remove her fortune from the equation.” “I still say you’re taking a big risk.” He glanced beyond her to where Celia was talking to the duke. “Do yo really think she’d be better off with Lyons?” but she doesn’t love him…If you’d just give her a chance “I do not know,” Hetty said with a sigh. “I do not know anything anymore.” “then you shouldn’t meddle. Because there’s another outcome you haven’t considered. If you try to manipulate matters to your satisfaction, she may balk entirely. then you’ll find yourself in the sticky position of having to choose between disinheriting them all or backing down on your ultimatum. Personally, I think you should have given up that nonsense long ago, but I know only too well how stubborn you can be when you’ve got the bit between your teeth.” “Oh?” she said archly. “Have I been stubborn with you?” he gazed down at her. “You haven’t agreed to marry me yet.” her heart flipped over in her chest. It was not the first time he had mentioned marriage, but she had refused to take him seriously. until now. It was clear he would not be put off any longer. he looked solemnly in earnest. “Isaac…” “Are you worried that I am a fortune hunter?” “do not be absurd.” “because I’ve already told you that I’ll sign any marriage settlement you have your solicitor draw up. I don’t want your brewery or your vast fortune.  I only want you.” the tender words made her sigh like a foolish girl. “I realize that. but why not merely continue as we have been?” his voice lowered. “because I want to make you mine in every way.” a sweet shiver swept along her spine. “We do not need to marry for that.” “So all you want from me is an affair?” “No! but “ “I want more than that. I want to go to sleep with you in my arms and wake with you in my bed. I want the right to be with you whenever I please, night or day.” his tone deepened. “I love you, Hetty. and when a man loves a woman, he wants to spend his life with her.” “but at our age, people will say-“ “Our age is an argument for marriage. We might not have much time left. Why not live it to the fullest, together, while we’re still in good health? Who cares about what people say? life is too short to let other people dictate one’s choices.” She leaned heavily on his arm as they reached the steps leading up to the dais at the front of the ballroom. he did have a point. She had been balking at marrying him because she was sure people would think her a silly old fool. but then, she had always been out of step with everyone else. Why should this be any different? “I shall think about it,” she murmured as they headed to the center of the dais, where the family was gathering. “I suppose I’ll have to settle for that. for now.” he cast her a heated glance. “but later this evening, once we have the chance to be alone, I shall try m ore effective methods to persuade you.  because I’m not giving up on this. I can be as stubborn as you, my dear.”

She bit back a smile. Thank God for that.

Sabrina Jeffries, A Lady Never Surrenders

04.26.21.06 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

04.26.21.06 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

clip upload : 14.09 pm **in memories to both. - witty, piquant, minded and exquisite women in my life. ** ok. take care. miss u. on 15.11.2009 | **yes on t way - message on 01.12.12 ** at **** ***** .. taking u turn. message on 10.11.2012.

04.26.21.06 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

clip upload : 14.14 pm **in memories to both. - witty, piquant, minded and exquisite women in my life. ** ok. take care. miss u. on 15.11.2009 | **yes on t way - message on 01.12.12 ** at **** ***** .. taking u turn. message on 10.11.2012.

04.26.21.06 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

clip upload : 14.18.21 pm **in memories to both. - witty, piquant, minded and exquisite women in my life. ** ok. take care. miss u. on 15.11.2009 | **yes on t way - message on 01.12.12 ** at **** ***** .. taking u turn. message on 10.11.2012.

04.26.21.06 am |  blame it on the sun or the blazing desert heat.the most disciplined of women and the most reckless of men are about to clash in the most impossibly irresistible way.- missing you and no.2 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love. ** i miss talking with you.

clip upload : 14.18.26 pm **in memories to both. - witty, piquant, minded and exquisite women in my life. ** ok. take care. miss u. on 15.11.2009 | **yes on t way - message on 01.12.12 ** at **** ***** .. taking u turn. message on 10.11.2012.

04.26.21.06 am | a happy new day wishes - I want morning and noon and nightfall with you. I want your tears, your smiles, your kisses. missing  you and no.1 virtually matter till we meet again - for us being in love.

You - m i S S

#3645

to them - listen adequate music : c - d - s - k - k - a

post time : 14.26.21.14 pm

VW - SN - us being in fervent love.

the greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. - Bob Marley