#most of the time celebs are just terrible people who look nice and have nothing good to offer to the world and are clearly out of touch | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

finelinevogue · 3 years ago

Text

he’s so vogue

Description - you are the journalist for the new Harry Styles December Vogue Issue

A/N - how is everyone doing? hope you enjoy! if you have any requests please feel free to ask. love you all and have a lovely rest of the week!

warnings: swearing

[masterlist]

Being a journalist for Vogue was probably the biggest flex you could ever make.

After 3 years of studying English Literature at Surrey University, you never thought, only a year after, you'd be working as an apprentice at Vogue UK. If it weren't for your Aunty, who worked in the fashion design section at Vogue HQ, then you'd no doubt still be a broke-ass, single, lonely student. Ok, lonely you still were but your job was so full-on that you didn't have time for a relationship.

Two years into your apprenticeship you were promoted to an official member of the team, and then another two years later you got promoted to team leader in your department of journalism, and editing; The Media - or as you like to call it - "The Celeb Goss". You were beyond happy with your job and found such passion in every article your wrote. Whether it be about a new celebrity romance or the collapse of one, you found a way to story-tell in such a meditated way that everyone loved your pieces.

That's why the Harry Styles had requested you to be the one to interview him.

Of course you'd written about A-list celebrities in the past, producing articles on pregnancy rumours, or engagements, or breakups, but you'd never met them before authoring an article. You'd met plenty of D-list celebrities who thought they were mega famous, but if you mentioned their names people would turn around and ask "who?".

This is why interviewing Harry Styles was a massive thing for you.

Not very often did you get to do work out in the field, especially in these covid infested days, but nevertheless it was your favourite part of the job. Getting to meet the people you were writing about was completely refreshing, allowing you to obtain a clearer outlook on which direction to take on your journal piece.

You were asked to go to Stonehenge, where the photoshoot was being filmed, as your office of interview. Even though you'd lived in the UK all your life, you'd never actually been to Stonehenge. It wasn't really on your bucket-list, but it was a pleasure to get to see it all the same.

Being the prepared interviewer you were, you'd prepared an array of questions that you were set on asking Harry. You'd never met him before, but after much googling and youtubing of him prior to meeting him today you would already be confident in saying he's the most brilliant man to ever exist. You were really nervous that you were going to screw this interview up and make a terrible mess in front of Harry Styles.

"Lisa! What if I accidentally say something I shouldn't?" You ran your stressed hands through your hair.

This whole morning had been frantic. It had started off by you waking up late, no thanks to Lisa, your best-friend and co-worker, pressing snooze on the alarm. You wanted to look professional today so you'd put on your best shirt - only to spill coffee down it ten minutes later. So now, you smelt of coffee and were wearing what was left in your wardrobe - and it wasn't much. The only things left clean were a pair of pink corduroy flares and some, pastel coloured, graphic t-shirt to go with it.

"You won't. Stop being so negative." Lisa rolled her eyes, probably fed up with the amount of winging she'd heard from you this morning - and you'd only been awake an hour.

"My outfit is hardly professional either." You huffed, pouring the rest of your, second, coffee down the drain.

"Well I think you look gorgeous." Lisa stated, whilst putting her breakfast bar wrapper in the bin.

You and Lisa were back and forth about you stressing, and such, for about half an hour before you had to leave. You had a great panic about losing your glasses too. You could see without them up close, but for long distance viewing and reading you were practically blind. You were taking Lisa's car, since she didn't think you were emotionally stable enough to drive. Lisa was the creative director on the set, and thank goodness she was so you could at least ramble to someone.

After a two hour drive up from London, you arrived at Stonehenge and it was freezing. Although the sun was out, it did nothing to keep your body heated. The journey up had been nice because you sat in your nicely heated car, chatting away with Lisa and blasting some Harry Styles out of the speaker. You'd made it through the first album, and the second one up to Canyon Moon before reaching your destination.

Upon arriving you could just about, without glasses, make out about 15 other cars, arranged at the bottom of a hill. There was an array of Audis and BMWs, a few Range Rovers, which you placed your bets on one was Harrys, and a green, vintage, Jaguar which was most likely belonging to the fashion editor or something. There was also a modern barn, perched at the foot of the hill, which was where Harry would be getting changed in to his various different outfits.

It took you a moment to register that Lisa had parked and was already clambering out of the car, making you look a little idiotic still blankly staring at the beautiful scenes in front, and around, of you.

But it was still bloody freezing.

You jogged a little to the boot and whipped out your white cardigan. Originally you'd thought that this would've been enough to keep you warm, but now you were starting to think otherwise.

The atmosphere here was amazing. People were rushing around left, right and centre loading, and unloading, various pieces of equipment and clothes. You caught sight of brightly coloured fabrics being carried to and from various places. There were the camera crew, and presumably director, all chatting amongst themselves. The smell of the very fresh air was so lush that you'd forgotten what it smelt like - especially after years in London.

You grabbed your bag from the boot, which had your notes, recording kit and laptop stuffed inside, before locking the car and following Lisa in to the barn.

It was lovely and warm inside - a completely different climate to than the outside. It was as if it was Bali inside and Antarctica outside. Better Bali than Antarctica though.

"Ok. Let's put our stuff down over here and then go find people we need to meet and such." Lisa instructed, you still too in awe of the place to fully comprehend what was going on.

You followed Lisa and you two ended up dropping off your stuff next to some other bags. You took a liking to the purse next to your stuff. Next to your bag, it made yours seem ancient - like it was worth nothing more than a penny. It was luscious and a beautiful baby blue colour. You softly ran your hands over it, finding satisfaction in how smooth and subtle it was.

"Hope you're not planning on stealing that, love." A manly voice appeared from behind you. You whipped around to see who's bag you'd been messing with, and it was just your luck that it was to be Harry Styles'. Of all the people's it could've been it had to be his.

Perfect.

He looked dashing. He was in black flares and his iconic 'But daddy i love him', t-shirt, along with a huge green anorak. His hair was prettily clipped back with a pink clip, presumably placed there to gave his curls greater volume. In his hand he had a pink toothbrush and you guessed he'd come back over to put it away in his bag - only to find you caressing it instead.

"Oh - no, no. Not at all. I - uh - I just thought it was beautiful." You stammered over your words, choosing them carefully to try and make you look less like an active criminal.

"Mhm." Harry nodded whilst looking you up and down, most likely judging why a peasant like you, in comparison to him, was touching his expensive property. "Well, I love your flares darlin'." Harry looked down at your trousers, his compliment making you blush a little.

"Thank you. That wasn't professional, and neither is my outfit, I know, and I apologise." You added, because you knew that if your boss knew you turned up today the way you did she would give you a right bollocking - and potentially even fire you.

"Never apologise for flares. You look amazing." Gemma perked up, making you feel more self conscious surrounded by all these other beautiful women. Gemma was in a slouchy, knitted, jumper and basic jeans - no doubt all from shops beyond your budget - and yet she looked like a model fit for the runway for Vogue.

"Okay, sorry." You apologised again, to which you, creepily, got the exact same, stern, look from the Styles siblings at the same time.

"My stylist, Harry, introduced me to big pants. He offered whether I wanted to try a pair of flares, and I was like, 'Flares? That's fucking crazy'!" Harry laughed as he told his story, earning a laugh out of you too. "Now they're my favourite item of clothing. Have a whole wardrobe dedicated to them."

"I wish he was joking." Gemma laughed at her brother and his flare obsession.

"Well you do look handsome in them, so I understand why." Your words rolls off your tongue before you could even comprehend what you were saying. Only after you finished your sentence did you completely intake what you'd just said.

"Good start." Lisa giggled to you, before turning to walk over to the coffee station. It was a help-yourself coffee bar and you knew that you were going to bed at least five cups to get over the last five minutes alone. You'd probably drain the station before letting anyone else have any.

"Oh god." You awkwardly mumbled, not daring to see how weirdly Harry would be looking at you, before walking off outside.

You had spent less than 10 minutes here and yet you'd never felt like a bigger clown. Joining the circus had never been so easy.

The outside wind hit you like a powerful leaf blower, and your hair blew around like crazy - most likely compiling into a birds nest on the top of your head.

Today was supposed to be the start of something great. Your hopes were set on a promotion from your written masterpiece, whilst enjoying the company of one of the most handsome, most lovely, most talented men of this century. Those hopes seemed a little too distant now. They seemed to mock you, as if to laugh at how you ever thought you were going to be any more successful. You'd completely, in more ways than one, made a fool of yourself in front of your interviewee, you were so underdressed, you were caught fondling his Gucci purse and you were still bloody cold.

It all felt too unprofessional for a job where professional was practically the driving force of the company.

You leaned against the barn, taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself. You were a master in over-thinking, but unfortunately that wasn't something you could add to your resumé. You let your eyes close and the other senses come alive for a few moments. The sounds of distant sheep and the smell of the cold wind were just two of the senses that allowed you to take a step back for a minute, and breathe.

"Thank you." A voice interrupted you from your attempt of quick meditation. You looked to your left and noticed Harry standing there, still in the same outfit as before.

"I'm sorry?" You asked confused, taking a step away from the barn to considerately pay more attention to him.

"Thank you - for saying I look handsome in flares." He repeated, smirking when he added the second part.

"Oh." Was all you could respond, feeling too embarrassed to take the conversation any further. "I should—" You pointed back to the barn, using it as an excuse to leave before yet screwed up anymore.

"Lisa told me you're the interviewer." Harry added, and it only occurred to you that you'd never actually introduced yourself. "So it's lovely to finally meet you Y/N." He stuck out his hand for your to shake, which you did willingly. His hands were a lot softer than you'd expected.

"Ho... You know my name?" You asked surprised.

"Of course. I also know you're the best writer in Vogue right now." He flattered you, which made you blush. You had a feeling he'd make you do that a lot today.

"Sure." You rolled your eyes as you spoke sarcastically.

"Well I chose you for a reason, didn't I?" He rhetorically asked.

"I mean.. I, well.. I don't know?" You stumbled over your words, making yourself look like a larger fool than you did already. Today was just turning out to be exactly what you didn't want it to be. "Sorry."

"Stop apologising. You do it too often." He told you, nearly making you apologise again but he gave you a jokingly stern look, as if he knew what you were going to say, and so you decided otherwise.

"Harry!" You both turned to see there was a man waving towards you both, but specifically to Harry. "Come get changed!" The same man shouted. Harry lifted his thumbs up, as if to signal he'd be there shortly.

Harry turned back to you and noticed you shiver a little.

"I'll start the interview after I come back from the dressing rooms, yeah?" Harry asked, taking off his, khaki green, trench-coat in the process. He handed it to you before you could oblige against it.

"Wait what?" You confusedly looked down at the coat and back up to Harry.

"Gives me a piece of mind knowing my interviewer isn't going to die of hypothermia before actually interviewing me." He smiled, obviously attempting to crack a joke and you have to admit you did laugh.

"Thank you." You say, before he runs off to where he's being called to.

••••

You'd been sat inside for a little while, waiting for Harry to come back. It gave you time to perfect your questions though.

Thinking up questions to ask Harry had been a challenging task, but one that you'd been fully invested in. You loved creating questions to ask him that were going to get to understand him on a deeper level. He was a very private man, and you completely respected that. If you crossed any boundaries, with the questions you'd ask, you would write them out of the interview. You liked to think you hadn't thought up a question that would make him feel uncomfortable though.

Pissing off Harry would be on another level of shame.

"Coat kept you warm?" Harrys voice disengaged you from your notebook.

"Hm?" You asked then replayed what he'd just asked in your mind. "Oh, yes. Thank you very much." You stood up, from where you'd been perched on the floor, picking up your nearly finished green tea as you did so.

Only when you stood up did it come to your realisation that Harry was now in costume. He was dressed in luxury. Each item looked like it cost more than your rent, and that was saddening. He looked rich and luxurious. To be quite honest, you were finding it rather difficult to take your eyes off him.

"You think the outfit is Vogue enough?" Harry asked, striking a few poses, which made you laugh. It was refreshing to see him act so relaxed and carefree, rather than a stuck-up-prick you knew some celebrities to be.

"Completely. I love it!" You exclaimed, appreciating the twirl he did for you.

He was wearing a kilt-like skirt and he looked beyond beautiful in it. Fuck toxic masculinity. Fuck being a manly man - like what does that even mean? Harry was embracing gender fluidity and experimenting the ways in which there was no definitive line between men and women's clothes anymore, and you thought it was marvellous. Revolutionary, for times as politically and socially troubled as these.

You started removing the coat in attempt to give it back to him, but he refrained you from doing so by holding on to your forearm.

"Keep it. I thought we could go outside to start the interview, so you'll be needing that." Harry told you, and you agreed - however reluctantly that was. You couldn't really complain though, because the coat did kept you warm and, what's better, it smelt divine - just like you'd imagine Harry to smell.

"Okay. Thank you. Do you want to go now?" You asked hesitantly, not knowing whether he was busy for someone else right now.

"Whenever you're ready, love." He answered, making you feel more relaxed. He was going at your pace and was making you feel settled - he was even more of a gentleman than people described him to be.

The two of you had walked around the backside of the barn in silence, enjoying the comfort of each other's presence. Well, at least you were. It was a blessing no one was back here. It was just you, Harry and the scenery that surrounded Stonehenge.

You approached a bench and you plopped yourself down on one end, whilst Harry sat on the other. He respected the fact that there was a pandemic going on, and didn't want to make you uncomfortable in any way. You still had your mask on, so Harry had taken that as you were very conscious about the virus - which he admired.

You pulled out your glasses, from the depths of one of the coat pockets, and placed them on your face, probably making yourself look even geekier than you already felt. Today was just one of those days you wished you had good eyes...

You opened your spent notebook, musty pages practically falling apart, and turned to the section of questions you needed for that interview. You were so nervous already and you hadn't even asked anything yet, all because of the previous interactions with Harry today. Your shaky hands shuffled through the pages and you cursed under your breath when you struggled to find what you needed.

"Shoot. Come on." You mumbled quietly under your breath, hoping it would make this terrible situation end faster. You mustn't have been as quiet as you thought though.

"Y/N." Harry's name broke through your clouded mind of self-disappointment.

You looked up at him to see him softly smiling at you, blowing all worries away from you away with the wind. "Yes?" You timidly asked, pushing your wind-swept hair out of glasses - where it'd gotten caught.

"You’re alright, love. You don't have to be professional around me, alright? We're just two strangers having a conversation, to get to know each other, okay?" If his words didn't calm you enough, the soothing sound of his husky voice certainly did.

"But that would mean you asking me stuff too?" You replied, confused at his implications of the phrasing 'getting to know each other'.

"Mhm." Harry nodded his head.

"Oh I don't know Mr Styles, i'm not a very interesting person." You answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, pushing your glasses back up the bridge of your nose from where they'd fallen.

"I refuse to believe that." Harry chuckled, making a quick smile appear on your face. "And please call me Harry. Just Harry." He begged, obviously finding it weird you calling him by his professional title. All you wanted, ever, was for your interviewee's to feel comfortable and safe, so if Harry wanted you to call him Harry then so be it.

"Ok, Harry," you sarcastically said, earning a shake of the head on his behalf, "you can ask me a few questions throughout the day." You told him, but you knew he'd struggle to find even two questions when he realises how bland you are.

"Does that mean you only get to ask me a few as well?" Harry smirked, already knowing the answer to that question. Unlike Harry, you had to write an article about today when you got home and so he knew that you'd have to dig as much dirt as possible from him.

"No, sorry. I don't particularly want to lose my job." You paused to look down at your notes, squinting a little as you did to see better. "Okay. Tell me your experience with corona virus."

"Sorry I didn't quite catch that, love." Harry apologised, leaning in slightly to see if he could hear you a second time around.

"Sorry." You looked down to fiddle with your fingers - a habit you'd undertaken when you're embarrassed. "Um..," you cleared your throat, "would you mind if I took off my mask?"

Your timid voice sent tingle down Harrys spine. He didn't think anyone could ever be this sweet. "Not at all, ‘course you can." He replied, again, wanting to make you feel as comfortable as possible.

You hesitantly took off your face mask, feeling like you were in some dramatic movie where they face revealed someone. You kind of liked having the mask on, because, for one, it kept you warm, and for two, you were a little self conscious with how you looked compared to all the other women here today. You shoved the mask in your pocket, with trembling fingers, before looking back down to your notes.

"Woah." You heard Harrys voice being mumbled under the wind. You eyes shot up to his and you noticed him staring right back at you.

"W-what? Is my acne playing up? I knew I should've—" You self-consciously run your hands over the areas you know you got acne. The masks really didn't help when it came to skin care.

"Hey, stop. No. You just... You look beautiful." Harry complimented you, and a roaring blush arose on to your cheeks. You'd never been called beautiful before, and so you were taking the compliment like such a 13-year old.

"Oh, uh, thank you." You awkwardly answered, not really having any other words come to mind in that moment. Harry chuckled under his breath, still keeping eyes on you for some reason.

"Would you mind repeating your last question, I didn't quite catch it?" Harry asked politely.

"Sure. Um, tell me how you've experienced corona virus." You repeated for him, gripping ahold of your pen to start copying what he says and pressing start on your recording device in case you needed it later.

"Well, it's been tedious that's for sure. However, I just want people to be safe and for life to return back to normal, so therefore i've been very MIA for a lot of the time. Keeping to myself mostly. I only went out for hikes or bike rides. All my meetings were online, so it's been very lonely." Harry kept eye contact with your figure the entire time, and if it weren't for you concentrating on writing what he was saying then you'd probably melt away under his gaze.

For such soft eyes he sure was intimidating.

"I presume the loneliness sent you crazy at times." You laughed, because you sure felt that way through lockdown. Curse being single.

"You have no idea." Harry laughed along with you, making you, slowly, feel more at ease.

"Actually, you'd be surprised." You looked at him unsure, before returning down to your notebook.

"Okay then, first question from me," Harrys words made your head shoot up, "How can someone as amazing as yourself be lonely?" He asked and you made a mental tally of how many questions he'd asked.

"Could ask you the very same question, Harry." You slyly replied, avoiding the question by answering with another question. It was a tactic you'd learnt, throughout your years of journalism, when you wanted to dismiss something .

"That's cheating." Harry pointed at you and raised his eyebrows, but you couldn't take your eyes off the big, cheeky, smile perched on his face. You shrugged you're shoulders in defence and returned to your questions. "But you did just call me amazing, so I think i'll let it slide this one time." You blushed, again, when you understood what he meant.

He was amazing though - that was the truth.

"You were in L.A. for the majority of quarantine, am I right to say?" You already knew the answer but your manager had just wanted confirmation.

"Yeah, but L.A. feels like holiday, whereas London feels like home." He answered, which you appreciated. He hasn't got lost in the way that Hollywood could let people. He'd stayed grounded.

"So what did you entertain yourself with during quarantine?" You asked curiously, slightly side-tracking from your pre-written questions - just because you were intrigued (nosey).

"Not much, not to be boring. I ate a lot of bread. I worked out pretty much every day. I wrote quite a bit actually." He used his fingers to pinch his bottom lip, something you'd noticed he did in interviews.

"Does that mean a new album on the way?" Your inner fangirl was screaming at the thought of HS3.

"Can neither confirm nor deny." Harry smirked to himself, like the cheeky bugger he is.

"That's a yes then." You joked, pretending to write it down in your notes.

"You're impossible, you." Harry laughed and shook his head. It made you feel all funny the way you could make him smile like that. You were the source of his happiness for just that moment, and that was enough to make you feel happy for a lifetime - not that he felt the same.

"Next question," you stated, moving swiftly on because you knew you had limited time, "How's your experience with Vogue been so far?"

"Wonderful. Everyone has been so welcoming and that makes it so much easier for me to have fun. It's daunting going at things alone, but i'm getting slowly used to it now." Harry sniffled a little, probably due to the freezing cold weather here.

"Must be strange, not having four best friends around you, all the time, anymore." You stated rather than asked him, sure that he was missing his bandmates. I mean, you were - so he definitely would be.

"Brothers." Harry replied, making you look up at him confused.

"I'm sorry?" You asked, giving him your full attention.

"You said four best friends. Well, actually they're my brothers." His words actually caused a rift in your heart. You could feel it being pulled apart and torn in to two. If you wrote this in to the magazine the fans would have a worldwide passing-away-party.

"Harry." You said softly, slightly tearing up at his words. "God, I swear i'm not normally this emotional." You chest your throat and try to establish your dignity - however there wasn't that much left anymore.

"Oh shut up." Harry looked away obviously trying to hide the fact that he was tearing up too. You laughed at him but didn't draw any more attention to it than you guessed he would've wanted.

"They mean a lot to you then?" You asked, hopefully not treading on any unwanted territories.

"Much more than a lot, yeah." Harry nodded his head, turning it back to face you. He could tell this conversation was now off-the-record because of your closed notebook, your undivided attention towards him and the fact you’d turned off the recording device. He liked being able to look at you, rather than the top of your head. He swore you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.

"You still see them often?"

"Not as often as i'd like. Niall did come around the other week to drop off some old guitars he didn't want anymore, and then we ended up playing around with some music for a bit." He admitted, which stitched your heart back together.

"So does that mean a Narry collab?" You teased, biting your bottom lip in anticipation.

"Narry? You so are a directioner." He laughed along with you.

"And you just avoided my question, therefore there is a song out there written only by you and Niall." You concluded, which shut him up.

This conversation was going a lot better than expected. Certainly a lot better than earlier. You will be permanently scarred by the way you spoke to him and handled his belongings. It was going to haunt you forever - and yet he'd forget about it by tomorrow. Or maybe he wouldn't, which is why you felt the need to apologise.

"Harry?" You asked, clearly indicating this was still a conversation away from the interview.

"Yes Y/N?" He watched you intently, listening to your every word.

"I, um, just wanted to apologise for my behaviour earlier. I was just really nervous to meet you, and to be honest still am. I didn't mean to touch your stuff without your consent and I certainly didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with any of my comments. So, i'm sorry. I can only imagine the awful, yet true, things you must think of me." You rambled really quickly, that you were uncertain whether Harry even caught one word of what you'd says.

"Do you know why I asked for you to interview me Y/N?" Harry asked, which wasn't the first thing you expected him to say after your apology.

"No. I...well Lisa told me it was because I can write well or something." You suggested, not wanting to sound egotistical.

"I mean you do write perfectly, but no." You were intrigued now. "I asked for you because I, and this is not for your magazine, have a secret - but not-so-secret - crush on you." This time it was Harrys turn to blush.

"Harry... you don't have to say that to—"

"I'm not saying it for anything. I sincerely think you are the most delightful, most prettiest, most fucking sweetest person i've ever met." Harry exclaimed, which you were taken aback by. Never, ever, did you think that Harry Styles would proclaim his likeness towards you. Ever.

"Harry don't mess with me, please." You shyly spoke, tilting your head down in disbelief that the Harry Styles was smitten about you.

He shuffled along the bench, stopping a little way from you but close enough to reach out for you. Your heartbeat increased when you noticed his hand move closer towards you. It didn't stop till he reached your face. He took his time, courteously, pushing your hair behind your ear before removing you of your glasses. He held the right-eye frame and slowly pulled the glasses off your face.

Once he'd successfully taken them off he folded them up and placed them alongside your closed notebook.

"Can see those pretty eyes now." He whispered quietly, but loud enough for you to hear.

"Don't lie. They're so dull." You mumbled, lifting your head up slightly. His face was still away from you.

"Not to me they're not." He retaliated, looking deep into your eyes as you did his. "I hate this corona virus."

"Why?" His words were so out of the blue sometimes, it gave you whiplash.

"Because I can't be as near to you as I want to be." Harry told you. And yeah, you hated corona too. It was getting a little laborious now.

"Smooth, Styles." You chuckled. You wondered how many new and weird pick-up lines could be made from covid.

"I know." He winked, which honestly would have made you throw up if it were any other man on the planet. Somehow, though, Harry just made it seem attractive - along with every other thing that man ever did. "After this, would you like to come back to my house for a cuppa tea?" He asked sweetly, like a five year old asking whether you wanted to play together.

"Okay. Lisa was my ride though." You said more to yourself than anything else, debating on how you'd even get to Harrys. Uber? Taxi? Lisa? Walk?

"I'll drive us, it's fine. I have to drop Gem off, but i'd be more than happy to chauffeur you." Harry kindly offered, to which you were internally screaming about. You were literally, and metaphorically, having a field-day with all this Harry content and interview.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a burden." You question politely, not wanting to overstep any boundaries - especially in these covid infested times.

"Of course. I wouldn't have offered otherwise." He protested, waving his hand at if to say it was no bother. You were already trying to work out, in your head, how much petrol money you were going to owe him.

"Then i'd be honoured to have a brew with you Harry." You giggled at how cringe you were being, even if this was just your normal self speaking.

"Great." Harry genuinely smiled, teeth and all. "My shoot should take a couple of hours, but feel free to continue to write and journal. I'm looking forward to reading this particular article." He winked at you before standing up.

"Wonder why?" You sarcastically asked, knowing full-well it was due to his exposure of his own feelings towards you. Even though you'd never says anything back you were quite in agreement on how you felt about him, like he did you. He would be a narcissist to say he knew you liked him the same, out loud, but he knew. And you knew that he knew.

"Wonder why indeed." He gave you one last smile before he'd disappeared for the rest of the afternoon, leaving you to digest and relive the past half an hour or so.

Being Harry Styles' crush was probably the biggest flex you could ever make.

••••

After Harry had finished up his shoot he was quick to come find you again.

You'd watched parts of his shoot and he looked magnificent. There wasn't a good enough word to describe how amazing he looked. Harry, his stylist, was probably the best stylist out there. His fashion choices were unmatched and you wanted him to be yours. You were not rich enough nor fashionable enough, ironic for working in a a fashion company, to hire a stylist, but you would if you could.

You were so proud to see what he was achieving now as the person that he was. Harry was just being Harry, without the devilish control of shitty managements or ridiculous amounts of PR stunts. Harry was more free than ever, and it definitely showed just how much he was enjoying it.

You were certain that this Vogue magazine would break the internet - his fans were good at doing that. This could be a turning point for many people, with their outdated and ignorant views. There was no room for people with racist or homophobic or transphobic or xenophobic - and the list does go on - views anymore.

You were waiting by the front door of the barn, to catch Harry as he walked past. You caught sight of him in a white robe, presumably to get changed back into his everyday clothes. He looked really pretty in the robe - very domestic actually.

Today had been a good day.

Harry asked you to send over the more specific Vogue questions to him via email, so he could devote more time in to answering them in a lot more depth. You thought he meant you'd be sending them to some PA in his team, but you were shocked to understand he'd given you his personal email.

People were walking back to their cars and packing away the filming kit. You saw Lisa and the director talking to one another, no doubt discussing some in-work gossip.

"You ready?" Harrys voice reminded you that you'd been waiting for him. You looked to see he was back in the same clothes as this morning, only this time without his coat.

"Here?" You offered, having him over the coat once again but he declined.

"Looks better on you anyways." He winked at you, before walking through the car park and to his car. You were very surprised when you found out Harry was the one to own the green Jaguar. You assumed all celebrities drove the Range Rover, but no. The vintage car added to Harrys immaculate vibe and just made him that little bit more hot.

Harry properly introduced you to Gemma, who was equally as lovely as Harry. They were both amazing people and they were crazily alike. From the way they looked, down to the way they phrased their words, they were mistakingly twins. Gemma explained how Anne, their mum, didn't know they were doing this photoshoot and that it was going to be a surprise, which you thought was so cute.

Gemma spilt a lot of gossip on Harry, to which he got very embarrassed over. You learnt that Harrys first word was Cat. You learnt that Harry is godfather to multiple children, which you found heartwarming. You learnt Harry used to be a baker - which was something he elaborated on for a good half an hour. Harry was just a fountain of memories and Gemma was the one sharing them all with you.

The drive back to London was relaxed. You sat in the back, listening to Harry and Gemma pointlessly argue whilst an Arctic Monkeys album played in the background. You forgot that people like Harry drove, and listened to music, just like other regular people. You often misplaced celebrities in society, thinking they had everything done for them but in reality that (often) wasn't the case - at least not for Harry.

Gemma was dropped off quickly before Harry drove to his. It was no surprise that the Styles siblings didn't live too far away from each other. Harrys house was beautiful. Bigger than anything you could ever dream of buying. It was a palace compared to your cupboard-sized house. You were unbelievably jealous. He gave you the tour of the house, showing you where the toilets were, and even his panic room if necessary.

You migrated to the kitchen for a bit, talking about anything and everything. Getting to know the minuscule pieces of information that no-one else was trusted with, made you feel special. Harry made you feel special - even if he weren't meaning to.

Every moment held a spark. Every touch set off a firework. Every laugh was an electric burst. He made you feel so alive.

"We can go to the living room after this has boiled." Harry said, pointing towards the streaming kettle. He wanted to show off his fancy tea collection he had, and let you have a try if you wanted to. Harry was boring and chose the basic green tea, but, after much deliberation, you chose the cranberry green tea. It intrigued you and it sounded delicious.

"Why the extensive tea collection?" Not even you, a certified caffeine addict, had this much tea in your house. Coffee was a different story and one in which you didn't want to talk about.

"They help me with my meditation." He took the teabags and placed them in his glass mugs. They had a delicate Gucci stamp on them, and you just imagined that they probably worth the same amount as your daily salary.

"You meditate?" You were slightly surprised that he did.

"I try to yeah." Harry nodded, focusing on pouring in the boiling water into the mugs. "I've got very tight hamstrings and so it helps if I meditate twice a day."

Harry finished making the tea, in the light-filled kitchen, before showing you around to the open-lounge area. Everything was modern and chic. It was exactly how you imagined it, but better. The open, red-brick, wall was a beautiful feature and one that you were a whore for! It reminded you of New York and the memories you'd made there one summer.

The sofa was a beautiful velvet, green, sofa. It was soft and gentle, a lot like Harry when you thought about it. The whole house was an architectural masterpiece and you'd be lying if you said you weren't jealous. You sat on one end and Harry went to go and sit on the other end.

"I don't bite you know?" You joked, self-consciously wondering whether he didn't want to be sat near you.

"I know, I just don't want to step on any of your covid boundaries - which is perfectly fine by the way." He added, apprehensively taking the spot next to you.

"No, not at all." You ushered him to sit next to you, as you took a sip from your steaming hot cup of fruity tea. "If I smell though, do tell me!"

"Yeah, you smell bloody awful!" Harry sarcastically remarked, but laughing afterwards to assure you he was joking. The atmosphere went quiet for a minute, only the sounds of passing cars and deep breaths being heard.

"Y/N can I ask you something?" Harry turned the tone of the conversation. It sounded like he wanted to be more serious than you two were being beforehand.

"Anything." You encouraged him to continue. You placed the cup of tea down on the table, deciding it was too hot to drink right now, and gave him your full attention.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" Harry questioned. You didn't think you'd be having a conversation this intense - especially if you had different opinions - on your first day of knowing each other, but here you were.

"I believe you can love someone at first sight. I don't believe you can be in love with someone at first sight. Why?" You were curious as to how his brain had journeyed to this particular topic. You'd never really had this conversation with anyone before, mainly because you were unaware of the true power, and meaning, of love.

"It uh... It doesn't matter." Harry shook his head and you could tell by his body language that he was shutting you out. Maybe you'd made him uncomfortable.

"Sorry I didn't mean to—"

"No, no. Please don't apologise. It's just - I like you a lot more than you may think." Harry shyly told you, which made you all soft inside. He was being vulnerable and that was something you admired in a partner. You didn't just need love, affection and trust in a relationship. No. You needed vulnerability and heartbreak too, and Harry was revealing that part of him to you.

"I like you a lot more than you think too." You repeated, not because you felt bad for him but because you truly did like him a whole lot. Love was a weird yet wonderful thing, and if you were to hazard a guess you'd say you loved Harry.

You couldn't wait to be in love with him.

"Does that mean I get to crown you my girlfriend?" Harry excitedly asked. Harry happy was something that should be made a constant, and you were more than happy to be in control of that.

"At least take me out first." You bargained, wishing for nothing more than to go on a date with Harry. Where you'd go, you had no idea. Everything was closed right now and there was still the chance of becoming sick with corona, but no doubt Harry would think of something not only clever, but special.

Of course you'd love to be Harrys girlfriend. However, you wanted one more, official, opportunity to really get to know him - unprofessionally. You wanted to make sure that you knew, and he knew, that you wanted to be with him because he was the charming Harry you've come to love, not because he was Harry Styles.

"So you're allowing me to take you on a date?" Harry smirked like a little child, your heart fluttering at how excited he was to be able to treat you to dinner.

"Yes, Harry. Yes I am." You answered sweetly, offering him the cutest smile you could.

You can't believe what a turn of events today has been. You've gone from nearly writing yourself on Harrys enemy list to writing yourself on to his 'people he's dated' list. Who knows what the future would offer you. At the start of the day you had wished this whole day to end and for the ground to just swallow you up, now you never wanted it to end. It was too perfect to be true and yet it was.

Harry was the most wonderful human to exist and you were beyond surprised to be the one to catch his attention. You didn't understand why you were so special, but it was nice to feel like this for a change. It was nice to feel wanted.

••••

A few months later and you were officially Harrys girlfriend.

It had been such a crazy few months. Harry religiously took you out on dates every week. Whether it be to grab a hotdog at a local diner, a coffee from a quaint cafe, a walk in Hyde Park or a late-night drive around London - which normally ended up with you falling asleep before you could make it back to yours. On sleepless jet-lagged nights he'll still drive through London's quiet streets, seeing neighborhoods in a new way, just as an excuse to spend time with you.

Harry often stayed over at yours. Even though you looked like you lived in a shoebox compared to Harry, he liked it. He liked the subtly and normality of it all. He wanted your life to remain as normal as possible and, apart from the occasional paparazzi incident, it did. You never had anything to complain about. Of course the online bullying created emotional wounds, at the start of your relationship, but it was nothing that Harry couldn't repair with a bit of love.

Lisa has nominated herself to be maid-of-honour when the day comes - if the day comes. Harry has already pinky sworn that you are it for him. The one, as some may say. You were utterly flattered, but you certainly unsure of what the future help for you both.

You loved Harry, you do love Harry and you will forever always love Harry.

It was ridiculous to think that all this stemmed from you working at Vogue. From you studying English Literature in a city away from London. From you dedicating you extra hours gaining work experience and money to be able get in and afford university. So many moments in life have you stopped and said 'i wish i hadn't have done that', but now you were convinced that they were the best things to have happened to you - because they lead you, all, to Harry.

And, being Harry Styles girlfriend was probably the biggest flex you could ever make.

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imnotrevealingmyname · 3 years ago

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hey there! i read your recent open letter post and i found it very interesting! i definitely share your grief and sadness because of Loki’s character demise and the series itself. and i found what you said about Tom interesting too cause his behavior and change of opinion about Loki had me questioning what was happening behind the scenes. i do have some theories and bits and pieces from the past i can connect to try to understand what exactly went wrong! (this message is long so if you don’t wanna read this it’s totally okay! just thought it would be fun to share <3)

flashback. i was 13-14 when i got into TH, this was also around the dark world era of Loki, i was more of a fan of Loki than tom but i did watch videos and looked at memes of him. id say i started to become a fan of tom for a year and a half before i caught myself and said “this sounds like im forming a parasocial relationship and that’s very unhealthy” so I pulled back and stopped intaking tom content (celeb content in general, it made me feel icky in my own opinion), (i stopped right before the whole TS thing began, got away safely!) and focused more on Loki. when i stopped looking at TH content i just knew him as the dude that dances, loves Loki and is nice to people. Ragnarok came, it was fun (i won’t give my opinion on the movie here since that’s a different topic), i didn’t pay attention to tom during that time but i definitely noticed something was off when i saw an interview. i was a goofy 17 year old kid, even a goofy kid could tell something was wrong with Tom. but then i thought nothing of it and then sort of abandoned Loki content until the series began. we all know how the series went, terrible. very very offensive to so many different communities. what was even more jarring was toms comments towards Loki and his mannerisms. i was shocked, but then i decided to go on a little treasure hunt and try to retrace the steps to figure out HOW EXACTLY WE GOT HERE!

my most simplest answer, the media is partially to blame. this might be a hard pill to swallow for some TH fans but…he made quite a few big mistakes in his career that cost him a lot of roles and new movies. the TS thing, the GG speech, certain interviews, apparently he was “too goofy” for parts of Hollywood and he was advised to “tone it down”. which honestly is SAD imo cause i understand his excitement and im a goofy, animated person too and love to show off my talents, but i think there’s a time to simmer it down and i think tom wasn’t simmering down to “hollywood standards” (he even said he wasn’t allowed to do impressions anymore) so he really had to change. i personally didn’t mind him being excitable and talk 2637382 miles an hour about Loki, but a lot of professionals didn’t approve and unfortunately I think he had to pay consequences for that. :( because of that he had to change how he behaved and started to become more mild, quiet and observant. even though i wasn’t invested in tom all the way, as someone who watched some stuff about him as a kid it was pretty sad to see the media sorta force a man to change. there’s nothing wrong with being mature but this was definitely a whole personality switch for me.

anyways, i think the reason he’s become so quiet about speaking out about loki is because of the media advising to change his approach on his persona. for some reason they did not like that and i think that’s one of the reasons why tom seems almost robotic in a way? i have a feeling Disney feeds him comments to make during interviews and he can’t fully say what he wants to say. basically my opinion is that it is partially his fault and partially the medias fault on how Loki was handled. (more so the media i believe). he made mistakes, the media silenced his upbeat opinions on many things including loki and …i think that’s how we got here. now of course i could be wrong! since i don’t know tom personally, this is just a speculation of mine and i sorta did a deep dive over the summer and came up with this conclusion. tom seems to be doing better and looks happier, but, because his persona is also being run by the media, we might truly never get his full opinion on matters and his full personality back to the public. it’s pretty tragic. let me know your thoughts on this! it was fascinating to research.

Right on. I feel like he's been rebuffed so much that he's resigned himself to it. Maybe he feels that at the end of the day it's just a character, and regardless of how strongly we feel about that, he doesn't want to jeopardize his career for a character anymore especially given the way the wind has been blowing and it's kind of seemed like Tom Hiddleston's Loki will be a thing of the past for quite a while now. I guess he doesn't want to entirely ruin the last few years he'll probably be allowed to play the character, because in light of the way Loki has been treated I doubt there is an hope of salvaging what remains of the original character. Maybe he thinks it's too much effort and too much trouble for too little gain. And honestly, I can't blame him for that. Like you said, his career has had some pretty rough blows and he's decided to just go with it instead of fighting it anymore.

I respect that, in a way. While I (like so many others) feel a deep sense of betrayal at how our beloved character was treated and how he condoned that treatment, I understand the sentiment behind wanting to not risk his chances anymore and boost himself forward as much as he can in the next few years. I did consume quite a bit of TH content (other than Loki, I mean) back in the day but I don't think it's at the stage of a parasocial relationship. But I still can't help but feel robbed.

#inrmn.txt #nonny #hey nonny nonny #loki series criticism #loki series critical #anti loki series #anti lokius #anti loki x sylvie #anti loki show #sylki shippers dni #sylki dni #lokius dni #lokius shippers dni #tom hiddleston

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bluefirewrites · 3 years ago

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not sure if u are still taking this but, celebrity/fan au for JUKEE 🤭

Okay this one's a little involved but I got you!

Rated T for mentions of sex and maybe some language

SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A SHORT FIC

******

Julie tugs against the rather short dress Flynn had squeezed her in, not caring for how much she looks like a glorified candy wrapper in the shimmering gold.

She feels like she's some Ferrer Roche, waiting to be devoured.

Which seems to be her intention for tonight because she's insane, and so is her bestie Flynn, because she's supposed to grab the attention of a certain someone in this club.

Her motives for tonight sound like they come straight out of a Wattpad story, but her boyfriend- or well maybe an ex boyfriend now'- forced her hand.

So a year ago, right around the time they started dating, they both disclosed their 'hall passes'. Just a list of celebrities they were both 'allowed' to cheat on their partners with. It was fun. Just to see who the other person would pick.

It was harmless because the whole point is that these people are so famous, so far out of reach, that the odds of hooking up with them would be essentially impossible.

Nick's was the lead singer of the world famous pop group Dirty Candi. And Julie remembers drunkenly applauding the choice ("She's pretty! Wowww you like them Bubblegum Pop girls?")

They had a laugh that night and Julie doesn't really consider that hall pass conversation all that much since then-

-Until fast forward to last week when Nick disclosed to her that he ran into Carrie Wilson at an event. And then promptly disclosed to her that he invoked his 'Hall Pass' rights.

His rights?! She had exploded at him, and he claims that its no big deal. That he thought she would understand that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, a crazy set of circumstances, and that- 'Holy shit Jules, she was actually into me. Like what?'

Understandably, Julie stormed out and has been staying with Flynn for the time being. And it must have been the haze of crying and watching a lot of true crime series to cheer herself up that she and Flynn concocted this... plan.

One fueled by spite and pettiness.

Get back at Nick, make him jealous, make him feel how she did- by invoking her own 'Hall Pass' rights-

-which so happens to be Sunset Curve frontman, Luke Patterson...

"There he is" Flynn whispers from their corner of the club and Julie gulps.

"I don't think I can do this," Julie hisses at Flynn, when they spot him at the bar, nursing a drink with his bandmates like he usually would (they did their research).

See, Julie’s been a fan of Luke’s for a long time. Ever since she heard ‘Now or Never’ in freshman year of high school, she’s been hooked onto their music- especially Luke and his voice and playing.

She had their posters on her bedroom wall and had been that girl who would (when no one’s looking) press her fingers to her lips then press them against Luke’s image before going to bed.

It was that bad.

And Julie had probably fantasized on more than one occasion of meeting him and all the other scenarios you would picture in a typical Celeb x Reader scenario.

And she’d like to think she grew out of it, now she’s in her mid-twenties and just casually listens to Sunset Curve, following up on their careers every now and then.

But you can never really shake your first major celebrity crush. Hence he had been on her so called ‘Hall Pass’ list.

(”You into rockstars, Jules?” Nick had teased her that night.)

Seeing him there, in the same place as her, is so surreal, but Flynn’s continued pinches to her arm remind her just how real this is.

“This is ridiculous,” Julie crosses her arms, ready to bow out because what is she thinking? Why would Luke Patterson pick her up, of all people, at the bar? It’s like a supermodel runway in here, filled with girls more accomplished and famous. Her confidence is shaken a bit and she rethinks everything.

"Nick didn't seem to have a problem when he did it," Flynn points out, “And girl, you look great. He would be blind to not want you.”

The mention of Nick still boils her blood, which only reaffirms her plans for revenge. She’s still nervous but they both stand up from their booth and walk over to the bar.

“You’re just saying that because you’re my best friend,”

“No. You’re musician extraordinaire, Julie Molina! The world may not have heard about you, but they will one day. I bet that’s something you can talk to him about. Music? Lyrics?”

Julie could use her songwriting credentials to her advantage, “I mean I guess-”

“Quick, he’s getting up!”

“Flynn, wait I’m not-”

With a forceful push, Flynn sends Julie into the path of Luke Patterson, colliding into him and effectively spilling his drink all over her dress.

“Oh my god,” Luke gapes at her, “I am so sorry-”

Julie fans herself, shaking slightly from the fact she’s drenched and also that her freakin’ high school celebrity crush is looking at her, actually talking to her.

But she recovers quickly, and she speaks, “It’s fine. Really. I guess I’m just... clumsy.” She shoots a glare at Flynn, who merely winks and retreats to their booth.

Luke grimaces and takes her by the hand, leading her somewhere, napkins in his other hand, “Here, let’s get you cleaned up. Again, I’m sorry. Hate to ruin a pretty... dress.”

It’s the way he eyes her that catches Julie off guard. He’s... not talking about the dress, is he?

Julie reels it back in tries her hand at a joke, “I wouldn’t call this a dress. I feel like fancy leftovers in this thing.”

Luke stifles a laugh, “Okay, I mean I wasn’t gonna say anything but yeah. I guess it’s a bit tin foil-y.”

“Not your style?”

His gaze drifts over to her one last time, “Well, any way to take a meal back home is fine by me. I mean-” Luke scrunches his nose, wincing, “I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like that. Shit. That was too... much. Are we-” he laughs nervously, “Are we still... talking about food?”

“Unless you just called me a meal. Then no.”

The look in his eyes say that he’s absolutely mortified, “...yeah. I think I did. I was hoping that was a nightmare.”

“Nope, it definitely happened,”

“Feel free to slap me,”

Julie giggles, somewhat delirious because she hasn’t tried to flirt with him but here Luke is, flirting with her. Or trying. And failing. Like a far cry from the suave rockstar she had pictured him to be.

“No need. Just, can you-?” she points to the napkins he’s holding hostage.

“Oh yeah. Here,” They stop in front of the coat check, and he hands her the napkins so she could try herself off with the best she can.

Suddenly, a weight falls onto her shoulders, she looks up and sees Luke draping a jacket over her- his presumably.

“You looked cold,”

Julie wraps the jacket tight against her, relishing in the warmth, “Wow, thanks.”

Luke smiled and stepped back, “Just so you know, if I made you feel weird in any way, I’d like to throw out my third ‘sorry’ of the night. Nothing has to happen though. So, just say the word and I’ll leave you alone.”

Whew. Um, okay. Julie stands there, faced with this decision.

The compliments aside (she will revisit those later), Luke’s giving her an out. Any reservations she has about moving forward with this plan, this is her chance to leave.

She could just treasure these amazing few minutes for the rest of her life. This could be a story to tell friends at a dinner party, about the time a rockstar lent her his jacket. Would be up there with the time Jack Black passed her on the street and said “Nice hat!”.

But-

Maybe she wants to see where this goes.

“All this talk about food is making me hungry though...” she says and Luke lights up, “I could go for a bite to eat.”

Luke snaps his fingers, “I know just the place.”

*******

Half an hour later, Julie and Flynn are in a smelly alleyway with the guys from Sunset Curve, in line for a street dog cart just a couple blocks away.

“An Oldsmobile?” Julie gawked after hearing Luke and the guys describe the delicacy, “Are you trying to poison me?”

“I swear by it,” Luke insists, taking her hand and moving them up in the line. Flynn sees this and doesn’t comment, but Julie’s starting to get used to Luke doing that, “You have to try!”

Julie doesn't know when she got over her initial starstruck, but by now its so easy to treat Luke like a regular person.

Well, celebrities are all regular people in the end, but more so now that he and his friends, have their sleeves rolled up, smiles wide, ready to dig into what may be the most disgusting hot dog she has ever seen.

Julie takes a bite out of hers and her eyes widen. Wow. It's not terrible.

"Ayy! We got another one, boys" Reggie laughs, noting her reaction.

"Told ya" Luke needles her sides and she giggles, ticklish. Her knee jerk reaction is to playfully shove him, but in the process accidentally smeared some mustard onto his face.

Luke goes to lick it off with his tongue, making funny faces as he did which amused Julie even more.

"Here," she takes a napkin and wipes at his cheek, "Now we're even."

The whole group gets to talking over by the couches, while Flynn chats up the other boys, Julie and Luke are sequestered in their own corner, and yes, eventually the topic switches to music.

"Wait, so you know Rose and the Petal Pushers?" Luke chokes out, "Like everyone I talk to hasn't heard of them!"

"Yup. Have their record actually" Julie beams proudly, censoring out the part that its her mom's band and hence she has one of the few records ever released.

Luke is floored by that and continues to poke her brain for music and Julie finds that their spiels go on naturally, that she could probably talk with Luke for hours and hours.

Which ends up happening. Flynn had already made her escape, having texted her to come home safely, the boys had gone too, leaving them in the nearly empty lot.

When the food truck closes down for the night, they end up taking a stroll down the streets of L.A, talking and getting to know each other.

Julie learns so much about Luke, things she's never heard about from the press- like his songwriting practice, that he cries at Finding Nemo, and that he can do a cartwheel only when drunk.

And in return Julie shares with him her crazy college stories, how she misses her mom sometimes, and that she is encyclopedia of commercial jingles (a fact Luke exploits by rapidly quizzing her at random moments)

Somehow they end up near the beach, with Julie pointing out the different stars she could see, but finds that Luke isn't looking at the sky.

"Hey, Julie..." He gets her attention, "I had a really good time tonight."

"Me too"

"So... would it be alright, if I kiss you?"

Julie's mouth parts, speechless. It happened. Holy shit it happened or... is happening. She has Luke exactly where she wants him.

She could only nod and Luke takes it as the sign to lean in, but just as his lips is about to brush against hers, she freaks-

"Wait" she steps back. Luke opens his mouth, "No. No more 'sorry's from you. This one's one me. I'm sorry but... this- this" She sighs, "I have to be honest with you."

Then she tells Luke everything- Nick, The Hall Pass, her plans for tonight- basically admitting to using him.

When she's done, she expects for Luke to get angry, to leave in a huff and never want to see her again.

That's not what happens.

"This Nick guy sounds like a piece of work" he says.

Julie nods slowly, "Yeah... I guess he was. So maybe that's why I did it. But I don't think I could have gone through with it. Like I don't think we're together, me and Nick but-"

"You wouldn't want to do what he did. Because you don't want to hurt people," Luke surmises, understanding, "And by doing that, that means you're a better person than he is."

"I guess"

"No Julie, you're a good person" Luke insists, "Man, I think that makes me like you even more."

Julie laughs, "God, if my high school self could see me now..."

"You were a big fan?"

"I'm not having this conversation right now with you,"

"Okay cuz now you got me curious-"

Julie swats his shoulder but it doesn't deter the guy from snickering.

On a more serious note though-

"I think..." Julie hums, "I think this means that I got some stuff to work through. Before I could start considering... this."

"I understand"

"But thank you... Luke. For tonight"

"It's been real, Julie,"Luke smiles and pulls her in for a half hug, "And you should keep the jacket. Looks better on you anyway."

****

Julie goes back to Flynn's that night and her bestie's still awake, wanting all the deets. But there's not much to tell. Nothing happened.

She shrugs off the jacket and resigns to the couch, not caring that her makeup is still on. She's about ready to pass out.

Her phone dings.

She pulls it out and sees two notifications.

luke_patterson is now following you

luke_patterson is requesting to message you.

Curious, she accepts the request.

'here if you want to talk, Tin Foil :P'

Julie rolls her eyes and collapses onto the couch, sleeping with a smile on her face.

She doesn't know it now, but the oncoming years would be filled with more messages back and forth, meetups with their friends for more shady street food, building a solid foundation of friendship and eventually, when Luke asks again if he could kiss her, Julie would eagerly prop herself on her toes to close the gap.

Yeah, Julie's high school self would definitely be screaming...

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #juke #julie molina #luke patterson #luke x julie #julie x luke #this one turned into an actual fic wtf #lol #i got carried away #long post #blue answers asks #celebrity/fan au

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romanceboys · 4 years ago

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(interview) cosmopolitan korea november issue 2020 — shining visual, shinee key

1. agreeing to have a magazine photoshoot scheduled a week after discharge must not have been an easy decision. i tried my best to not look like the military had changed me during my service. people don’t notice when you’re in a good condition, but when you come out in a poor state, they notice right away. this will probably be my last schedule for the month of october. i want to rest for a bit. 2. that's understandable. how was your military life? what i gained from the army were health and people. while i was in the military band, i came across many non-celeb friends, especially young friends who did music. it was an opportunity to learn about what people like these days. though adjusting was hard, it was fun. 3. some say that the mandatory service is like a vacation for workaholic idols. would you sympathise? vacation doesn’t seem like the right word, rather i was able to live a planned life. there was time dedicated to resting, training, sleeping, etc., a daily routine. i liked having to live doing things regularly. 4. for key, dancing and singing are a given, but you do more than the usual with acting, variety tv, musicals, etc. i’m curious about whether you tend to showcase only what you’ve gotten good at on your own, since you’re smart, or is it the result of your ceaseless efforts? besides music, i think the rest is just packaged well. though i can’t make it look like i’m doing really well when i do things poorly, it’s got to do with good marketing too. i also think i have a good grasp of how to look like i’m doing well. 5. it’s said that people who are lively and can express themselves definitively end up incurring the public’s wrath at least once, but over the course of 13 years, there was no such happening. others might not know, but i was aware of many of my failures. there were several shows that i didn’t stand out in, or many times when neither talking nor singing worked. through such experiences i think i was able to cultivate my judgement. 6. all celebrities showcase themselves, but they don’t do so without hesitation. comparatively, key tends to express himself naturally. and so, ‘naturally-talented celebrity,’ one with many talents, comes to mind. had i stayed still and not shown myself, i don’t know what would have happened. i probably wouldn’t have been able to shoot for a photoshoot like today’s either. i’m the type of person who has to do multiple things simultaneously. for instance, i was able to do <amazing saturday - do re mi market> after 10 years of debut. through this program, there were many who most likely saw me and my personality for the first time. but had i not done it, would there be many people curious about me when i’m not in the public’s eye? of course not. though there are people who can arouse the public’s curiosity just by staying still, i don’t think i’m one of them. 7. your objective assessment of yourself is quite cold. i learned that the more you keep denying yourself, the more uncomfortable it gets. there are those who set an absolute standard for themselves and even improve by working towards it, but i don’t think i fall into that category. i came to a realisation by trying out things this way and that way, and then by staying still. in the end, i learned that being passive wasn’t the answer. even if i like my career as a celebrity, it’s meaningless if the people don’t like me. 8. what’s your judgement criteria for making choices? back in the day, i would do things people would like even if i disliked it. but now if i’m unsure about it, i don’t do it. i realised that forcing myself to do something in such an ambiguous state would not make a huge difference to my life. but you never know. i’m saying this now but then i might end up taking on many things randomly. however, what’s certain is the need for something new. 9. in the ‘solitary chatroom’ fans asked about your plans following discharge, to which you replied “i’ll probably be doing something?” have you not found something new to do yet? i’m troubled over whether to start youtube or not. i doubt people will be curious about my unbroadcasted, ‘off’ (-camera) appearance. the problem isn’t whether to start youtube or not, it’s the how that is important too. i haven’t found the answer to whether i can do it unabashedly. while competing with professional youtubers, i don’t even know if my content will be competitive enough. i’ve been deliberating for a long time. 10. after seeing you and your fans converse like friends in the ‘solitary chatroom,’ i felt that you adore each other. it took a long time for me to reach the point where i could show myself to the fans to my heart’s content. the fans must have waited for a long time too. in the past, i was focused on presenting myself to the public. i did take care of my fans back then too, but i thought it was more meaningful for me to show new people new things. whereas, now i know that if i continue to tread in the right manner, people who like me will continue to like me. it seems more proper to deliver high-quality content to those who are waiting for me. 11. it’s your 13th year of debut. i think you might feel beyond colleague camaraderie for the shinee members. whether we like it or not, i think it’s affection. it's all inevitable and natural. it’s difficult to answer questions that ask about how much i love the members or how close we are. it’s like asking one how much they love their mother. neither colleagues, nor friends, nor family; it’s a relationship that is hard to describe. 12. one idol vented, “it’s upsetting that idols are given secondhand treatment despite being young for the years of experience they have.” have you ever had these thoughts? of course. but i do get why people think that way. it’s because they must have seen them working as idols for a long time. if that’s the case, then they (idols) should switch it up; towards something different, something that’s enjoyable to the public. on that note, rain and lee hyori seniors are quite cool and amazing. while continuing to dance and sing, they’ve chosen to keep up with the times as well. 13. it seems like key possesses the perspective of a content creator rather than an artist. i think the duties of an artist seem to be gradually increasing. youtube has become as popular as the television these days. that’s why i believe one should be able to adapt. 14. is there an unexpected side to you that people don’t know of? i have a simple side to myself, but people don’t seem to know about it. haha. i mentioned this to my military juniors as well that i prefer receiving a letter over presents. i feel like people are burdened by the idea that it’s a must to buy me something nice. of course, since they only see me on sns or tv, they might feel that way, but i’m truly a simple person. 15. what is key’s definition of a break? it’s thinking no thoughts. when i’m having fun or sleeping, i don’t think about work. that moment itself becomes my break. in our line of work, i believe we can change the quality depending on how much we involve ourselves in the process. and so, obviously, you end up with a lot to think about. when i watch a movie, i end up projecting myself onto the character; when i listen to music, i wonder about the song. back in the day, i couldn’t watch audition survival programs at all. because my hands and feet would tremble. this happened so naturally. that’s why i don’t have a tv at home. i only watch what i want to watch separately. 16. when do you feel that you’re a pretty decent person? (there has been) many a time when i like myself but the word decent is making me quite worried. haha. honestly, i’ve had a group of friends for 10 years now. they come running whenever i call them, even if people curse me out i feel nothing when these friends are around. going by the friends i have then, i’m not that terrible of a person, am i? i actually feel the sorriest towards the people who work with me. i can’t help but say things they’d dislike since it’s necessary for work. but seeing how i’m concerned over this itself makes me a pretty decent person, doesn’t it? haha. 17. as i listen to you talk, you seem very simple-minded but also a deeply complex person. being simple-minded is the easiest thing yet the hardest. you have to give up on a lot but can’t because it’s hard and scary. i came to this realisation naturally without any wake up call. 18. do you feel burdened by the fact that your future as shinee key depends on the choices you make now? no. it’s been a long time since i set goals for myself. i believe i will continue to find more work if i do the things i’m assigned without disappointing others. when i was young, i never once thought i’d become the key i am today. it’s just that now there are more people who favourably view my choices than before, so i expect it’ll be the same in the future. 19. only a confident person would be able to say that. i’m easily frightened but i don’t dread. i worry thinking ‘is this right?’ but when it comes down to making a decision i do it conclusively. people who dread a lot don’t take risks, but those with fears don’t run away.

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

#shinee #key #kim kibum #cosmopolitan korea november issue 2020 #interview #translations #e:the story of light epilogue #key:enlistment hiatus

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 5 years ago

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honestly over the years that i constantly watched the E! celeb channel and read celeb mags like “grazia” and “People”, “Ok!” etc etc or women’s mags like women’s day or new idea.... the one thing i could never fucking stand was the fashion panels that were either at the beginning (if it was awards season) or near the end of these mags.... where they’d judge the women far more harshly than the men.

like let’s say judge frida bonhelm (not a real person), fashion director at grazia rates the following real stars:

• sandra bullock at the golden globes in idk alex mcqueen (a high out of 10 ranking in my books bc i know nothing about fashion, but not so for these panellists).

• jake gyllenhaal at the oscars and golden globes, and for the sake of this post he’s either rocked up looking like he’s rolled out of bed with tousled hair etc but still in a suit (just without a tie, bc ala casual tre magnifique! a hot fashion tip: any random french makes you sound classy in fashion and makes Total Sense™️), at the oscars. or let’s say of shits and giggles he’s rocked up shirtless but in a kilt to the golden globes (“he’s going through a hard role guys, let him be!” says fellow panelist Gead mulhern, stylist for new idea). also forget what fashion designer/label JG is wearing, bc who the fuck cares when it’s a man???? amirite??? bc what man is meant to remember that supposedly vital information? none of them. not a single one them. that’s who.

now the reviews go like this:

frida on sandra bullock’s outfit:

sandra, sandra, sandra. you WOWed us last week with your appearance at the *insert random movie title here* premiere! but this. this is absolutely terrible! it doesn’t fit the event at all! that dress doesn’t fit around her waist, the tailoring is fuckin shabby! get a new tailor, sandra! the shoes don’t match, the bag is awful, her hair is fucking awful and the dress again, does not match her skin tone! why did she not get the memo on tanning if she’s wearing a salmon colour???? an absolute bloody shocker for me! -5/10! TRY BETTER NEXT TIME SANDY! (also remember to tan next time, booboo!)

frida on jake gyllenhaal at the oscars:

oooh jakey boy!!!!!!! looking all sexy and tousled boy next door, i see!!!! 😍 absolutely stunning, original, so damn melting sexy that i could just gush all day 😜 and the no tie thing! we all say “BAH!” to that sort of thing! screw the formal attire requirements of the oscars! ugh jake, 100000000000%/10. oh shit, that’s off the charts bc my cat stepped on my keyboard. i meant 10/10! absolutely no thirst here!!!! 😂😉 jakey stuns again!!!! soooo dreamy! *sigh*

frida on jake gyllenhaal at the golden globes in a kilt:

ooooof showing off that ripped bod as a superhero character huh?! what a good way to do it by being shirtless in a kilt! you just never stop stunning people, do you mr. gyllenhaal???? egad, i think i’ll faint looking at this photo for too long! someone get a me defibrillator or something to revive me if i do!!!! 😉☺️ another 10/10 for jake! what a brave and stunning idea!!! 😫 a visionary, really! 🙃

the other panellists generally end up having the same views as frida, but mostly differing on a few points and and final scoring. like jake in both instances basically just rolled out of fucking bed and threw something on (or that’s how it’s styled at least) which looks like it took like 10 minutes at the most to do..... while sandra (and every other female actress they critique) takes like literally 8 hours or more of hair and makeup getting ready for these major events and they get the low rankings????

like this pissed me off so so so much when i read/watched these panels. i was ready to fight every single one of them. and i was so happy when some of the women started fighting back a few years back now...... like elisabeth moss flipping the bird at the E!’s nail cam thing at the oscars i think... cate blanchett getting angry at the camera men for panning up her body in her dress. then there was emma thompson walking up on stage at idk the baftas or whatever carrying her heels and then she threw them over her shoulder. like god. i LIVED for that. and also there’s tiffany haddish turning up in the same alexander mcqueen dress to everything she can bc the goddamn dress is $4,000. like i’d do that to, girl. rock on.

like i hope we consistently get more of this as time goes on. because i’m so sick of male stars getting to turn up in jeans etc and being lauded as “casual, laidback and sexy next door hunk” and getting rated in the high out of ten (/10) range. while the women at these events are turning up looking like superstar material but getting rated like a 2 and get called “fashion challenged” or some other horrendous bullshit (half of them at the very least)..... all because one of these shitty overly judgemental fashion panelists doesn’t like one tiny detail of the woman’s outfit.

it’s ultimately why i stopped purchasing fashion/celeb etc mags and stopped watching E! and stopped engaging with other celeb news material. because it’s exactly where women learn to be catty, overly critical and bitchy.... instead of nice, supportive and non-judgemental. like watching fashion police back in high school made me super fucking bitter for ages... while also making me simultaneously hate myself bc i knew that i could never look like a hollywood star.

actually the worst segment on fashion police and in fashion mags was “starlet or streetwalker” (or something similar) where i remember female stars like kesha and britney spears were constantly labeled as “streetwalkers” which was like a nicer way (in their words) of saying “whore”. i’m pretty sure joan rivers/guiliana rancic called kesha a whore quite a few times actually.... bc of the way she dressed back in the late mid2000s/early 2010s because of her party girl image. like that got on my nerves so much that i was ready to fucking break the tv because they were calling my role models (once i found out kesha wasn’t a literal party girl all the time really lmao) whores while blantantly stupid but totes relatable & quirky/awkward Hot Girl Of The Minute™️ jennifer lawrence (at the time during 2011-2014) was touted as a starlet along with other young female stars.

anyway fashion panels are fucking venom and should fucking stop pitting women against each other. they should also stop lauding men when they turn up with tousled hair and just barely fucking dressed for a red carpet events. everyone is fucking over it. like start being nice to each other y’all. like why is it so fucking hard????

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona actually shares her life with her followers for once lol #ilona tries to be funny and relatable #a tl;dr post for people who hate reading longform posts on this hellsite

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manabingu · 6 years ago

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How the Grinch SUCKED at Stealing Christmas 🎄😒

I honestly never thought I'd ever make one of these but I have never felt THIS salty over a film adaptation. I am a huge Suess fan & I love the previous Illumination retellings of Horton Hears A Who & The Lorax. I also really enjoyed Dr. Strange. And the song "Happy" by Pharell is a bop. BUT THE 2018 Grinch movie is one of THE most disappointing film I have ever seen.

Like?? Starting from the top, WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PLAY "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE INSTEAD OF THE STEALING PORTION OF THE FILM??? LIKE?? WHO GREEN LIT THAT IDEA??

When the stealing scene happened, it was incredibly boring, uninspired and the regular bland score took away from such an iconic scene. How could they mess the best scene up THAT bad??

•They added unnecessary characters like Fred the Reindeer (literally the sub plot of this character could have been scrapped & things woulda been JUST fine). They made Cindy Lou Who have this squad she hangs out with & showed some shenanigans of her and her friends plotting a way to trap Santa?? Like WTF ?? That ALSO was unnecessary, I just wanted to get to the main story. The creation of these new characters that added NO substance to the story just made it feel like it was a movie about going on meaningless tangents.

•They added unnecessary "relevant ™" things. Like ok as a person who grew up in a single parent environment. I appreciate the "representation" of Cindy Lou Who's family. But it made her sub plot feel so forced? Like it was just tossed in there for the sake of B Plot so that the movie could be longer. It didn't make me care about her character motivations either :/ and her relationship with the Grinch was SO weak compared to the original cartoon and the live action version. Like? They are supposed to have this friendship dynamic that is heartwarming but they BARELY interacted AT ALL throughout the film that when the stuff at the end happens, it doesn't feel believable :/! It just felt slapped together like we're supposed to accept it :/....sorry but no. Plus it derailed from showing what the ACTUAL moral of the Grinch story is?? About showing that the holidays aren't about commercialism and materialistic desire, it's about spending time with loved ones. But they didn't make that the main focus of the film 😡

•The score was not memorable & didn't make me feel the spirit of Christmas. And was too washed out with trendy radio tunes that felt SO out of place it was ridiculous. My sis fell asleep in the middle of the film lol 😂 they just... oh boy... I can't even.

•The character design of the Grinch was honestly REALLY disappointing for me. He looked the the Mayor of Whoville from Horton except green. HE LOOOKED 👏🏼 TOO 👏🏼 CLEAN 👏🏼. This is THE GRINCH WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. The iconic song describes how creepy he's supposed to look? Why were his teeth and eyes not yellow? Or if like the special features of the DVD implied, that they wanted to capture the original book. WHY NOT MAKE HIS EYES PINKISH RED? THE GRINCH IS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY LOOKIN. And be portrayed as a villian to Whoville or an anti-hero.

•WHICH BRINGS ME TOO MY MOST IMPORTANT POINT.

DISCLAIMER: I like Benedict & think he is a fantastic film actor! I don't hate him. I genuinely love his live action work !

But I hate to be blunt. Him and Pharrell are NOT voice actors.

Please 👏🏼 stop 👏🏼 hiring 👏🏼 celebrities 👏🏼 to do a PROFESSIONAL 👏🏼 VOICE 👏🏼 ACTOR'S 👏🏼 JOB 👏🏼!!!

I apologize if I'm being too picky but I care about voice acting WAY too much. People don't take it seriously and this goes to show that they REALLY should. It's not about hiring trendy celebs. Give jobs to VAs who do this for a living & deserve those jobs & are GREAT at it 👏🏼I can LITERALLY name 10 non celeb VAs off the top of my head who would have NAILED the vocal performance for the Grinch & would have brought that depth that the character requires.

I would rather watch that whole film (even tho I hated the plots they threw in there) but dubbed over with say someone like Steve Blum playing the Grinch. I bet he would be 10x more fun to watch & listen to & he would nail all the nuances & give me an emotional performance. The Grinch is supposed to sound mean & scary the whole film up till the end when his heart grows 3 sizes? THEN after that, I can understand him sounding a bit kinder. THIS GRINCH SOUNDED WAY TOO NICE ALL THE TIME. WHERE WAS THE SASS? THE SNARK, THE SINISTER EVIL LAUGHS? l didn't feel ANYTHING from this Grinch. Literally like?? Nothing? And I wanted to REALLY bad cuz I ❤️ the character. Jim Carrey knows how important the voice is when it comes to portraying characters not only in live action but in animation as well. THAT is why HIS Grinch is way more believable & WORKS than Benedict's. HIS BACKSTORY WAS SO WEAK TOO??

Ben's Grinch was an orphan who grew up w/o anyone to share Christmas with. But he would go to town and EVERYONE WAS NICE TO HIM. He didn't have any bullies. No enemies, he just didn't talk to people so he thought he was "alone" BRUH. NO OFFENSE. BUT SHOWING A BUNCHA CLIPS OF A TINY GRINCH SADLY LOOKING OUT A WINDOW DOES NOT EQUAL "TRAGIC BACKSTORY". I didn't sympathize at all. Plus that's a plothole. Aint no way an orphanage is Whoville "the happiest town ever" would have an abandoned orphanage. They are all jolly people and would surely notice a kid Grinch living by himself. They would help him. The live action version made his backstory 10x more interesting and dynamic imo.

I adored Bendedict as Dr. Strange. And Pharrell sings lovely but I'm terribly sorry to say that they are NOT voice actors. They sounded like they were just reading a script. There was no nuance. No depth. They were just there for a paycheck,& it shows in the vocal performance :/ I WANTED TO ROOT FOR THEM SO BAD. But I LITERALLY COULDN'T CUZ THEY SOUNDED ROBOTIC AND STATIC. I wanted to hear emotions but OMYGOD it was just all so uninspired. And not just them it was the rest of the cast too. Literally the ONLY GOOD VA WAS MAX AND HE IS A DOG. ALL HE DOES IS BARK. That... omfg thas sad.

This movie has no "rewatchability factor". I'll just stick to the Jim Version. That's the only one that characterized everyone accurately.

But tea ☕️ THAT was the tea of how the 2018 Grinch sucked at Stealing Christmas. Thank you for coming to my TED talk gnight.

#mana blabz #The Grinch 2018 #Dr. Suess

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canaryatlaw · 5 years ago

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Alright, it’s currently 8:53 pm Illinois time (we’re still in Indiana so my phone thinks it’s 9:53, it didn’t transition for the whole day until like now apparently and is probably supposed to have changed back by now but here we are), we’re in the car on the way home from the con and I’m starting to write now because I need to go to bed ASAP when I get home because I once again could not fall asleep FOR MY FUCKING LIFE last night and of course I had to get up early so we could road trip to the con so I got like an hour and a half of sleep??? The last time I remember looking at the clock was at 5:08 am and my alarm was set for 6:45 am, so....it wasn’t good. But yeah, today was really good despite my lack of sleep. I did wake up when my alarm went off at 6:45 am, I had a message from Jess saying to give her like 10-15 more minutes than we initially planned so I got ready and waited for her to come pick me up. We got gas and then McDonald’s, breakfast sandwich and coke if I wanted to stay awake all day lol. And so we were off to Indiana for the con. The drive there was fairly unremarkable, we stopped at a rest stop for a minute but that was about it. We made it into Indianapolis around like 11:30 their time, parked in the parking garage next to the con center and got to the con. Our drive through Indianapolis revealed that today was definitely their pride parade and with a little more research we probably could’ve done the parade and the con, but oh well, not much we can do about it now. According to the online schedule the photo op for the guy Jess had a photo with was at like 1:20, so when we arrived we had to wander through the giant con center at first and then redeem our tickets and actually get to the main hall, where we located the photo op people and asked about the schedule.

It’s a good thing we checked, because he was not in fact at 1:20 anymore, he had gotten to what was first 4:45 and would then move to 5:45 in not too long. So obviously this was a bit of a curveball, since according to the earlier schedule we probably would’ve headed out a lot earlier. So now we have some time to kill. Well we wanted to see the guests anyway, and the first I wanted to see was the kid from Shazam, Asher Angel, mostly because I wanted to go on about how much positive depiction of foster children in media means to the kids out there that are constantly thought of as a problem and nothing more. He was sweet, definitely a teenage boy lol you could tell it was one of his first cons, but he was doing alright and was nice to talk to. He definitely looked bored at other points throughout the day which I can’t really blame him for, he is a teenage boy and the amount of attention the celebrities were getting at this con was definitely less than expected. Like, there were pretty much no lines for everybody....the entire con was a lot smaller than expected. So that was interesting to deal with. After that though we went and said hi to the guy Jess wanted to see from Shield and she got a selfie with him, he was really nice too. At that point we wandered the show floor for a while, Jess unsurprisingly found some kpop merch (it’s generally among the anime booths at this point) so she bought some of that which was cool. We ended up leaving the con center to get some food because con food is always trash and overpriced, and we didn’t have anything else better to do lol.

So we ended up going to steak and shake, which was a giant joke because the last time we went to a con in Indiana we got into a fight that kind of climaxed in us ending up going to steak and shake for dinner despite my request that we go literally anywhere else because my acid reflux was really bad that day, but that’s a whole other story we won’t go into, just know the fact that we ended up there was a giant fucking joke. I got a cheeseburger and a strawberry shake, and we killed some time there for a while before finishing up and walking back to the con. We returned to the main hall and ended up saying hi to John Wesley Shipp, this con was like prime for just getting to say hi to celebs because so many of them were standing around lol. He was cool, we got back to the Shield guy to get an autograph for Emily, and right next to him was Dot-Marie Jones, and I recalled that she had been at Clexacon and afterwards her wife had posted about how awful the con had been to them on Instagram and she was free so I was like if we approach this correctly we could get some quality tea about Clexacon out of this interaction lol. She had stickers that they were selling for $5, so we bought a sticker (they ended up giving us two) and were like “oh we just wanted to say hi, we wanted to see you at Clexacon but we heard it wasn’t great for you guys?” and that basically worked perfectly and launched a like, 20 minute conversation that consisted of all the terrible shit Clexacon had done to them and like, it was bad. The biggest revelation was definitely that the con wasn’t paying any of the celebrities to be there (I realize a lot of people aren’t privy to how the financial arrangements for cons work so that might not seem like a big deal but it is HIGHLY unusual and I couldn’t believe they got that many guests without paying any of them) and on top of that wanted a cut of their autograph money and shit which is just.....wild. It was a really good conversation though, not just about Clexacon but on how the voices of actual queer women should be the ones being centered, not just straight actresses that portray them but don’t live the stories (and we all know I adore my actresses, but it’s not the same) and like Clexacon had just been so shitty to her when she was one of the only actual queer women there and they could’ve had so much more but they were clearly only motivated by greed. She’s a super lovely person too and it was just overall a great conversation and it was really a pleasure to talk to her.

After that, or some time around then, the timeline might not be perfect here but I’m doing my best lol. We basically had nothing to do but I wanted some water so we walked over to their food court area and got some water bottles with the intention of just sitting at the table there for a while, which we did, but they ended up doing some like, pre-podcast launch media session with these three ladies who are launching a cold case podcast about this case from Indiana where this little girl was killed and I mean I only listened to their info about the case but I’m pretty fucking sure the abusive stepfather’s the one who did it (let’s be real, if the kid of an abusive parent dies, there is an extremely high chance the parent did it, and that chance actually goes up further by the fact that he was a stepparent, this is the reality of child abuse that I work with) so idk how much of a cold case there is to investigate there but Jess found them on twitter and they currently had like 18 followers lol so I mean maybe they’ll find their stride and build up a fan base. After their presentation and a little while of more time chilling out we ended up going back to the con area and seeing John Glover, whom we paid $20 to get a selfie with, he was again so delightfully bizarre and just absolutely hilarious to interact with and talk about Shazam with. So that was cool, and after that we chilled outside the main hall for a bit until Jess decided it was time to line up for the photo op, at which point I wandered for a bit and eventually ended up at Vanessa Marshall’s table who I kinda wanted to meet, she’s a voice actress who’s been in a ton of stuff but most relevant to me was that she did Black Canary for Young Justice and recently did an interview with the young justice podcast I listen to that was just fucking amazing about self-acceptance and that really just made me want to meet her so I paid $20 for a selfie with her and ended up having a lovely conversation with her.

After that I wandered a bit more and ended up buying a $5 “damaged” piece of Wonder Woman fan art (it was in the damaged pile but I couldn’t see anything wrong with it and it was a damn good deal) and ended up buying an adorable print of Goose the cat that was $10 and is going to go great on my Captain Marvel closet door. After that I reunited with Jess after her photo op and waited a little while longer waiting for the print while talking with a nice couple we’d previously spoken to at a con at some point lol. Once we got the photo we headed out, left Indianapolis and headed straight to the Cracker Barrel we’ve definitely been to before lol. There was a little bit of a wait but we got in in like ten minutes or so. Got our classics but they sadly we slightly less quality than we’ve previously had, but still mostly good. After dinner I raided their candy section very lightly and Jess acquired a giant stuffed goat I said I’d buy her so we paid the bill and bought that and headed out.

From there we’ve been driving, stopped once to go to the bathroom in the rain, but it mostly stopped raining so we didn’t have to deal with too much of it. The highlight of the drive home was definitely realizing Jess’ nemesis who was at the con was actually in the car behind us, and we proceeded to cut her off like three different times and it was great, I’m pretty sure she was still behind us when I started writing this and she was behind us until we hit the greater Chicago area but now we’re pulling up to our neighborhood that’s having it’s massive Nordic fest right now (“midsommarfest”) which looks pretty wild right now, but I’ll be home in a second and probably finish this off right before I go to bed, after I shower. My phone now said it’s 10:47 pm, though it should say it’s 9:47 pm Chicago time, so we’ll have to see for how much longer we’ll have to deal with that. But I’m about to get out of the car so I’ll leave this here.

Okay, it’s 10:54 pm currently, though my phone still says 11:54 pm lol. But I’m all showered and ready to go to sleep, and boy am I sleepy, so I’ll be going to bed now. Goodnight my friends. Hope you had a lovely Saturday as well.

#daily journal #June 2019 #Jess tag #Rachel’s con adventures

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dwtsfun · 6 years ago

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Dancing with the Stars Season 27 Week 4: It’s Time to Dr-Dr-Dr-Dr Dr-dr-dr-dr-Drag

That’s a Yu-Gi-Oh! reference in case you were wondering. Anyway, I’m going to get through this quickly and get to the real reason why I wanted to get this up tonight. I should also say that having the trio round be this early was not a good idea. It also might have been better if they had chosen celebs that were more available. Also, picking outside celebs only really worked in one couple’s case. But yeah. Let’s just go.

Juan Pablo, Cheryl and Melissa R.- Cha-cha (Score=24)- The song for this was not good. I mean the dance was alright, but nothing special. I saw mistakes from Melissa and JP. And Cheryl really didn’t seem all that into it.

Tinashe, Brandon and Amy- Tango (Score=26)- I really enjoyed this dance. I’m sad that this is going to be their last dance though. I thought Brandon’s choreography was really good. This dance showed just how much potential he has to be a very creative and innovative choreographer. Tinashe was fantastic. To be honest, I thought she was slightly underscored. And Amy was great too.

John, Emma and Joey- Argentine Tango (Score=21)- This was a good dance after the first part with the botched lift. I thought it was underscored though. I would have given it at least two 8s. John and Joey handled it extremely well. And Emma is a brilliant choreographer.

Evanna, Keo and Scarlett- Salsa (Score=24)- This was the only dance that I thought that the outside celeb worked. Evanna worked it out and Scarlett was actually pretty good for the most part. I liked the choreo and thought the balance was just right. There were fast moves but there were also moments where they could breathe, feel the dance and really live in the moment.

DeMarcus, Lindsay and Rashad- Paso Doble (Score=22)- This was a ridiculous score for this dance. In no way should this have been less than a 24. These judges are really working hard to keep DeMarcus down and I’m worried that it may actually backfire like it already has this season. All it was lacking was refinement. And that was clear because Rashad is so refined that it made DeMarcus come off as almost wild. That’s it.

Mary Lou, Sasha and Nastia- Charleston (Score=26)- It was nice seeing Nastia in the ballroom again. Charleston is her dance. Now I thought this was good. But was it 26 worthy? Ehhhh. I could see a 25 at the most. It wasn’t bad. Just not as good as the judges were making it out to be.

Milo, Witney and Riker- Salsa (Score=29)- This was a showstopper and should have been a perfect score. But of course Len had to spoil it. Of course. Even though Juan Pablo got an undeserved standing ovation from him last week. Moving on.

Joe, Jenna and Jordan- Salsa (Score=15)- What an awful dance. It was the worst trio that we’ve ever seen and may have been one of the worst dances in all of DWTS history in my opinion. They should have gotten no higher than a 12. It was cringey, neither one could dance, Jenna looks like she is crying out for help and yet y’all won’t put her out of her misery and stop voting for this dude that don’t even wanna be there. Please, just let him go. Please. This is getting difficult to watch at this point.

Alexis, Alan and Maddie- Tango (Score=25)- This outside celeb didn’t really work well either. Maddie is such a great dancer and putting her up with Alexis showed just how soft Alexis moves. It didn’t come together well. It looked like if you were to take Sabrina Bryan dancing at her hardest and put her next to Melissa Rycroft dancing at her softest. It just doesn’t work.

Bobby, Sharna and Lindsey- Cha-cha (Score=20)- This wasn’t all that great. The performance was high energy but the actual technique was terrible. I’m sick of Bobby acting half his age. He’s 38. But he acts like an immature 19 year old. Heck, Milo is mature than him. And Milo is still a minor. But I truly am sick of him. Truly.

So yeah. We move on to the end and Evanna and Keo and Tinashe and Brandon were put in jeopardy. And as we all know, Tinashe and Brandon were sent packing. Yeah I’m upset. I’m even shocked. The last time I was this genuinely shocked because of an elimination on this show was never. Tinashe wasn’t even in the bottom 6 the first week. What happened to all of those votes? Why did y’all drop off that much? I can’t even drag anyone else before I start with the fans. That is ridiculous. The fandom knows that this is possible. We’ve seen it happen. And I, along with countless other bloggers, always tell y’all stuff like this happens when you get complacent and you don’t vote. So I’m extremely disappointed in you all. If you didn’t vote for her and you had the ability to, you don’t get to complain about this result. You contributed to it.

Next, Tinashe stans suck. Y’all just refuse to be there for ya girl. Or maybe Tinashe’s fanbase isn’t as large as they act like it is. Regardless, her stans oughta be ashamed. You didn’t even have to buy an album this time around. You just had to pick up a phone and dial a number and make a bunch of email accounts and go vote on ABC.com all night. Y’all couldn’t even do that. What good are stans if you can’t even get your fave past the halfway mark of a reality show competition. Get it together. Tinashe deserves better.

I am so sick of having to beg the Bachelor fans to let their faves go out when they see that they don’t like the show. You all are weird. There’s been at least three bachelors that very clearly wanted to go home and they literally put their pros through hell. You can see it on those ladies’ faces. They just want the season to end so that they can be put out of their misery. And you fans just love to torture both of them and the rest of the viewers just so you can get a kick out of your fave dancing badly. Stop it. I usually don’t shame people for voting for who they want to, if the person wants to be there. But they don’t. Both are over it. So let them be. Please. We’re all begging you.

As far as everything else, I’m going to make another post. I told one of you that I was observing things regarding Tinashe and Brandon. I thought they would be on longer, so I wasn’t prepared to make this so soon. But since we’re here, I guess I’m going to have to make a post tackling how race and gender affected these two this season. There, I will talk about the show as a whole and how the judges reacted to them and how that more than likely added to this situation. And I have a lot to say. Especially about Len.

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pofcroyalfanfiction · 6 years ago

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Chapter Fifty Four - Somebody Elses Party

Soon the garden was packed with guests, all dressed in their summer finery. Her birthday party had become one of the Queen’s palace garden parties, except it was even more exclusive. Where were the casual outfits? Where’s the rocking music and kids running around? Most importantly, where were any of her friends from Marlborough?

Ellie tried to be as polite as possible with everyone who spoke to her, grateful for their time and efforts in their charities, now without Charlotte to help keep conversations going, but all the while she was on constant lookout trying to spot at least one girl from her dormitory. It had been at least two hours and she’d had no luck, even Taylor Swift had been swept away by the grownups.

She would know a thing or two about best friends.

At least the family was still here, tactically dispersed throughout the garden to talk to as many people as possible and push the royal brand. Savannah and Isla were there, hiding by the bushes with the other teenagers and kids, keeping to themselves. They beckoned Ellie over, noticing her discomfort in the middle of the crowd, the center of attention, but as soon as she made a move to reach them, she was swept aside by her grandmother, Camilla.

“Eleanor, darling, are you enjoying your party?” she asked sweetly.

“Yes, granny, it’s lovely.” Ellie lied. Half lied. Mostly lied.

“It’s a wonderful gathering, so many bright minds come to see you. You should feel very special.”

She hated being told how she should feel, but felt bad for feeling anything but special.

“I do granny, I do.” Ellie reassured her, feeling even more guilty.

It’s not that I’m not grateful for them, I can be charitable, I’m a nice person. I just… don’t want them here. Shit, that sounds terrible.

“Have you seen any of my school friends?” Ellie asked hopefully, even though she knew her grandmother had no clue who her friends were. As sweet as she was, Camilla still thought she liked Take That, even though they were before her time.

“School friends, dear? Camilla seemed confused. “This isn’t really the right place for that sort, is it?”

“That sort?” Ellie pressed her. Thankfully she was well practiced in disguising her irritation. Camilla didn’t pick up on it.

“Yes, the rowdy sort. I imagine your school friends are rather less refined than yourself. Marlborough has been going downhill for years. I did argue for you to be sent to Queen’s Gate and then Mon Fertile, but your mother insisted on Marlborough.”

Ellie ignored that jab. Camilla had always been clear, either outright stating it or via a veiled remark, that she felt Ellie had had too much of a ‘common’ upbringing that was not fitting of a future queen. This was no different.

“It is where she went, granny.” Ellie reminded her.

“I know, I know, it’s a family thing. I still feel you would have done better at Queen’s Gate, at least then you would have made friends we could actually invite.”

“What does that mean?” Ellie was now struggling to hide her anger.

“Darling, did you honestly expect your mother to send any invitations to Marlborough? This was always going to be a formal event, although between you and me, this seems far too casual.”

Ellie was seething. She turned away from Camilla and watched the party, soaking it all in. The party atmosphere had vanished and all she could see was money. The posh and the wealthy, the upper class. She was growing more and more uncomfortable by the second. Why would her mother let this happen?

This isn’t me. She knows this isn’t me.

Camilla seemed to pick up on her frustration, “Don’t worry dear, it’ll get more formal as you get older.”

“I’ll speak to you later granny. Thank you for coming.” Ellie kissed her on the cheek and made a quick escape before Camilla started talking about bringing back the 60’s and arranging her debutante ball.

Ellie made her way through the crowd, thanking everyone for coming. She briefly shook hands with Idris Elba and talked about his new film, then he introduced her to even more acting pals. Ellie remained polite throughout, but kept trying to navigate her way to her mother who was holding court in the middle of the garden, with George and Charlotte holding onto her legs.

“Mum, can we talk?” Ellie asked quietly.

“In a minute sweetheart, you need to meet Danielle and Willa here.” Kate put her hand on the small of her back and ushered her towards the two women.

It stayed that way for the next hour, being introduced to practically every guest present by her mother, who kept her hand on her back throughout as if she was showing her daughter off. Ellie felt like a piece of meat, being auctioned off to various charities that wanted her to become a patron. Kate was trying to get her to show an interest, tactically introducing her to charities she thought Ellie would be interested in.

The trouble was that Ellie wasn’t interested in any of them, not strongly enough to pick one as her first ever patronage. She liked horses, yes, but hadn’t had much time to ride whilst at school. Music was great, but the most musical related thinking she’d done recently was what to add to her studying playlist on Spotify.

It’s not like I’ve been allowed to go to a concert before, either.

She was only fifteen, and yet she was expected to be strongly supportive of a cause close to her heart, but what?

She’d tried to ask her mother about her friends, but all the talk of her future had drained her energy.

“Mum, I need to pee.” She whispered in her mother’s ear.

Kate gave her a squeeze and kissed her on the forehead. “All right, come right back poppet. Lots more people I want you to meet.”

Instead Ellie snuck her way out of the party, using the same arch way that her great grandparents had used hours before when they arrived. She knew that all eyes were on her anyway, including the cameras, so there wasn’t much point in sneaking, but she did so anyway. It wasn’t like anyone was going to stop her.

The atmosphere was much quieter outside the garden, with no guests milling around and just the caterers and staff busy carrying trays in and out of the party. They all gave her space, and didn’t complain when she picked a few cocktail sausages from a plate and dipped them in tomato sauce. She hadn’t eaten in hours and the hunger pains were hitting hard, only noticeable now that her anxiety had been lifted.

“We can get you a sandwich if you’d like, ma’am.” A freckle faced young woman told her. She was one of the masses of staff that had been hired to cater the party, and someone who seemed just as tired of the guests as Ellie was.

“Oh please! That’d be amazing.” Ellie gushed, wiping her mouth with her hand. Etiquette be damned, she just wanted to eat.

Ellie told the woman what she’d like, and while the other caterers gave her shifty looks, she quickly prepared a cheese toastie especially for Ellie.

“This feels like my first birthday present.” Ellie spoke with her mouth full, savouring the flavour. She’d almost forgotten what the whole party was for.

The woman frowned at her. Ellie immediately worried about how that came across, and so to not sound like a spoiled little girl she continued. “Fourteen birthdays before this, none have been as formal as this.”

Nice, Ellie.

The woman appeared slightly uncomfortable, unsure what to say. She smiled at Ellie as she enjoyed the sandwich, then finally spoke. “To be fair, this doesn’t feel like a fifteen-year old’s birthday party.”

“It doesn’t?” asked Ellie, wanting to hear the answer from somebody else.

“Nah, I’ve worked those too. Nothing like this.”

“What does this one feel like?”

“Kinda posh.” She spoke with a thick Geordie accent. “Fanciest gathering that I’ve worked.”

One of the woman’s colleagues came over, curtsied to Ellie, and took the woman aside. Ellie listened to their whispering, apparently the other servers thought that the woman was avoiding work to chat with celebs.

“I should get back.” The woman said, grabbing a tray of freshly cooked sausage rolls and rushing off.

“Thanks for the toastie!” Ellie yelled after her.

So, this is what her life had become. No longer having fun, joy filled birthday parties with friends and family. Instead having quiet, respectful ‘gatherings’ with a bunch of unfamiliar faces, which would get even more tightly controlled if Camilla was to be believed.

Ellie retreated further, wandering behind the catering trucks, past the hustle and bustle of the staff and guests that were leaving early. Occasionally she’d pass by a few guests she didn’t know who had left to find more secluded spots to escape the party, just as Ellie was doing. They bowed to her, tried to apologise and said they were “just about to head back inside.”

They all seemed to think she’d come out there to ruin their escape plans, and she rushed to reassure each one of them that that was not the case. They didn’t really believe her.

“We’re sorry, Your Highness.”

“Happy birthday, Your Highness.”

Grumpier than ever, she found her secret spot. It was a little space between the hedges that nobody knew about, just next to the woods and not far from the nearest river. It was the perfect place to hide from everyone at the party, even her family, all except the cameras. It was a good spot to have one of the CCTV cameras as, from up high, it offered a view of the whole garden. Ben also happened to know it was one of her spots.

She bent down, her knees rubbing in the dirt and no doubt muddying her dress. With a little testing of the hedges, she found the spot where the twigs weren’t so dense and pushed them aside, revealing a hole in the hedge that she could crawl through.

She made more noise than she normally did getting through the hole, all the twigs and leaves rustling as she squirmed past, a sad reminder that she wasn’t a little girl anymore. The sound of the party was still dominating her ears, yet even when she stopped moving to remove a branch that had caught on the sash of her dress, the rustling of bushes continued. Ellie listened closer, the sound wasn’t from anything she was touching. It was coming from her hiding spot.

She crawled faster, doing her best to be sneaky. The noise of the party helped mask her movements as the rustling up ahead hadn’t stopped, but now she could hear new noises. Soppy and sucking sounds, like two wet fruits being grinded and slapped against each other.

“Eugh” Ellie whispered. She watched as two guests sucked face in her favourite hiding spot, forever tainting it. This made her even more grumpy, but at the same time she couldn’t help but watch them.

Their faces were obscured, but the two sparkly dresses and sets of high heels made sure that whoever they were, it was going to be controversial. Ellie couldn’t stop herself from audibly gasping and interrupting the pair when one of them finally turned towards the light.

“Your Highness, uh, we’re so sorry.” Hailee Steinfeld said to her, blushing a deep crimson as she tried to fix her lipstick with one finger.

Dakota Fanning just smiled awkwardly, hiding her hands behind her back and bowing her head slightly. She let out a nervous giggle.

The two women towered over Ellie in their heels, but having them both nervous around her, seemingly unable to leave, was unsettling. Two of the biggest actresses in Hollywood caught making out in front of her, grown women, and yet they were apparently waiting for Ellie to relieve them.

“It’s okay.” Ellie finally said, remembering to say something. The two women visibly relaxed.

The last thing Ellie wanted to be in that moment was a Princess. She wanted to gossip. This was huge. An utter scandal, and at her own birthday party! Hailee was supposed to be with Jason from the Bass Boys, Dakota was apparently sworn off relationships forever.

Both women apologised again and made their escapes quickly. As soon as they were gone Ellie spun around, completely blown away by what she’d seen. She wanted to tell her friends, to laugh, to theorise, but nobody was there. She spun around again and then collapsed onto the floor, breathing heavily and realising how much she’d tightened up in front of them.

“That was huge!”

Ellie shot back up to her feet. Taylor Swift appeared from behind the hedges.

Is everyone sneaking through these hedges now? And is this why Taylor is always making headlines? Because she’s hiding behind the bushes during all the big scandals?

“You scared me.” Ellie clutched her chest, slowing down her breathing.

“Sorry, Your Highness.”

She’d had enough. Ellie’s mask slipped.

“Please don’t call me that. I don’t want to be called that. Not today” The words stuck in her throat.

Taylor stood there, watching for a moment while Ellie sat back down again. After a long awkward silence in which she could tell Taylor was debating whether to stay or go, her idol finally sat down next to her.

Ellie couldn’t speak, stunned by how surreal everything was. Sitting in seclusion, stars starting to appear in the sky whilst the party droned on behind them. Not to mention that star studded make out session. She had no doubt it was these sorts of moments that inspired a lot of Taylor’s songs.

Oh God. “You’re not going to write a song about this, are you?” Ellie asked.

Taylor laughed. “No, probably not. Hailee’s a friend.”

“You haven’t written about friends before?” Ellie probed.

“Well yeah, just not by name. Didn’t you ever listen to Bad Blood?”

“It’s one of my faves, I listened to it a lot when Alex stole one of my games.”

They both giggled. “That’s a valid reason.” Taylor nudged her arm.

“Cause now we got baaaaad blood, it used to be maaaaad love!” They sang it together.

The awkward silence came back as they sat together, listening to the party.

Taylor leaned back, her hands in the grass. Ellie could feel her eyeing her up from behind. “So, what do I call you, if not Your Highness? Gotta say I’m used to your cronies telling me to stick to the titles.”

“They’d also tell you to curtsey.” Ellie added.

“Do you want me to curtsey?” Taylor asked, moving to stand up.

“No, please don’t.” Ellie quickly put her hand on Taylor’s knee. A curtsey from her would ruin the day even more.

“All right.” Taylor sat back down, then edged closer to her. “So what can I call you?”

“Ellie’s fine.”

“Ellie, then.”

More awkward silence. Taylor watched her closely, then started rubbing her back in a caring, motherly sort of way. Ellie was in dreamland. Surely this was every Swifty’s dream.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Taylor asked.

Ellie could feel her emotions boiling over, tears gathering in her eyes. With all the fear and anxiety the party had caused her, now to top it all off was embarrassment. To be so emotional in front of a stranger was so foreign to her, so unbelievably different to how she normally was.

“I hate that I’m crying.” Ellie felt her skin warm up as she said the words.

“It’s okay to cry.” Taylor soothed her.

This is so weird.

“I just wanted a normal birthday party, okay.” Ellie struggled to explain herself, stuck between wanting help and not wanting to sound spoilt. “Instead this happened.”

“Not what you expected?”

“Sometimes a celebrity will be there, but its normally just friends and family. It’s never about work.”

“Nobody wants to work on their birthday.” Taylor gave her a comforting squeeze. “You know, I remember coming to your sixth birthday party a few years ago. You were adorable.”

“You were at my birthday?” Ellie asked, blown away once more.

“Yea-aaah.” Taylor told her, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Your dad and I did some karaoke together. He’s not a bad singer.”

“Ugh, don’t tell him that. He’ll be singing for days.”

They laughed together, making the tears roll down her cheeks. Ellie went to wipe them away but Taylor did it first. “Ellie, we’re friends, right?”

Ellie nodded eagerly. Yes, yes, yes!

“I know our lives are so, so… different, and the amount of pressure you must be under is just… insane. I see you every day in the news and you handle it so well, it’s inspiring.”

“Stop, you’ll make me cry even more.” Ellie pleaded.

Taylor pressed on. “I feel like I’ve gone through some of what you’re experiencing. This expectation to be someone for everyone, it’s tough to keep up. You’ve gotta have time to be yourself, have friends you can be yourself around.”

“They weren’t invited. Not classy enough.” Ellie said bitterly.

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

“It’s true, Mum didn’t invite them.” Ellie looked around, aiming to glare at her mother before realising that a dozen hedges blocked the way.

“The Kate I know wouldn’t do that.” Taylor told her, her eyebrow raised.

Ellie just shrugged and didn’t respond, her mood turning sour once more.

“When I was a lot younger, just starting out, I had to go to a lot of parties like this. Ones where I had to impress strangers, practically sell myself. It was stressful as hell and sometimes I just wanted to run away.”

“Sounds familiar.” Ellie said sarcastically.

“Sometimes I did run away.” Taylor shook her slightly, gazing intently at her. “Right out the front door. Just walked down the street for a bit, or found a nice place to sit and zone out. It was the best feeling in the world.”

Taylor stood up, then turned to Ellie and grabbed her hands to lift her up onto her feet as well. “I hear there’s a nice little river nearby.”

“Yeah, just through the woods.” Ellie pointed into the thick woodland, away from the party.

“Go on then.” Taylor urged her, a beaming smile on her face.

“Go on? What?” Ellie just stared at her, wide eyed.

“You need this Ellie, I’m looking out for you.” Taylor dragged her up to the edge of the woods.

“You’re serious?”

“I am!”

Ellie bounced on her heels, getting excited. Should she really do it? Just leave just like that?

And never come back?

Taylor kept urging her on, turning her to face the forest every time Ellie spun around in circles.

“Just go be yourself for a bit, breathe, have a nice walk. You’ll feel so much better.” Taylor nudged her forwards with a hand on the small of her back. “I promise.”

Ellie stood frozen as she felt Taylor step away, moving back towards the party. It was so exciting! She couldn’t think straight, her hands were trembling, her feet itching to move. She could sense Taylor a few steps behind her, watching, waiting.

Her ears perked up, a strange whirring noise high up above her brought her out of her reverie. She looked up, following the sound all the way up to the camera. It was staring right down at her, following her every move.

Fuck.

Ellie stared up at the camera, knowing exactly who was watching her. She could feel them politely asking her to return to the party, in that way that sounded like a suggestion but was most definitely an order. Ellie didn’t move. She felt guilty, but she wanted this, she needed this.

She mouthed the word please, then desperately looked to the woods, to freedom. The camera kept watching her, as if it was waiting her out. Expecting her to back down, but she didn’t want to.

“Please Ben.” She whispered. Surely he’d understand. He’d know she’d stay safe. Staying at the party was the more dangerous option.

#royal fanfiction #fanfiction #kate middleton #prince william #pofcroyalfanfiction #royals #british royal family #emma watson #creative #royalfanficcollection #royalfanficcentral

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throwingideasatthewall · 4 years ago

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The Clone Wars Senate Murders

(Season 2 Episode 15)

Ack .... So are we going to address the guy that got killed? . . Oh This is a new one . . . Oh No . . . The Bab ies - Will Only Pro Long

Oh good

[I was worried I was going to have to pull out The old “Amidala kills children,” Thing,]

Any way, That’s Good I like babies not getting hurt, [Cute things in general]

Oof That’s Not-

[pretty sure that’s the point]

Whelp

Well I have teased Amidala pretty unmercifully, Regarding That Episode, I do still give her a bit of slack (Age appropriate) Because she still has a chance to un-feck the situation [In the story]

Least we know it isn’t her getting poison ed this time,

Oh, never mind,

That actually did apparently help (slightly) (in the unaccountable) (Slightly less toxicity in air)

Smooth

Hold Up Wait, Wasn’t Ready (Sus Pect- Ing- Animation That smooth,

I think that was Sa- tine - Good ref (erence) Picking up right where he left off

C-3PO

Nice

Whelp

-Windows -

Okay, Minor Issue?

Oh it’s a whole bunch of them

That’s nice-

Senator Stonk

“what will the public think if I don’t want to make child soldiers,?”

-Boomer

(Probably)

“But he wants to know how very sorry he is,”

Haha

That is the correct tone

“Sorry-”

Sorry doesn’t get you anything

It’s an attempt to control the narr- ative

And nothing else

(If you screw up just fix the problem don’t keep dragging the tox,”

Votes

That’s nice

This is a very non-toxic healthy tea

(I know he’s kind of assuming authority here

But they seem to be pretty close friends-

Who are covered under the friend- ship rules

“ A.k.a. not doing it to a random stranger who doesn’t like it,”

Good rule

Oh God It’s

THAT

fucker..

With the line about convincing other people of good?

I-

Nope-

Note; this isn’t an official X

It’s just a show my venomous hatred of this guy..

And the episode he Spawned from

Which was the first one to earn a strike from me...

For normalizing abuse...

With that in mind I give this episode the benefit of the doubt...

Even with that concerning opening line

So I will acknowledge I am slightly doubtful

[not quite putting on the SWAT gear, maybe just a bat]

With that- in mind- let’s continue...

... .

Mistakes ...

Em- That at least counts as one tox

Bring up the previous things you did wrong does not fix it

It’s guilt tripping

And an attempt to get the other party to validate your toxicity

Dude’s Towing..

Just after a joke about how sorry doesn’t do anything

I hope the writers can see the irony in that

(Utilize It)

Peace - Dick

Hey-

[Repeat generations/friends can be friends with older members, just Weird,] - Any ,Way-

Aight

Ni’ gh t’

Ah- did they skip over to it or they going?

“exciting isn’t quite the word I would use,”

Toxic, authority assuming, enabling,

Authority assume is not ok regardless of what generation you are

[Dude’s going to be a Traitor, Isn’t he?

They focused on him

Might be actually a good bit of tension if he didn’t (Former Separatist)

Terri-fying

Yeah surrounded by a bunch of toxic boomers who will feel free. To be as doubting distrustful. negative and overall unhelpful

As you allow

And they feel like pushing the boundary...

Mind

Or- gana

Dick move

It’s her personal opinion - and it ain’t tox?

People can have dislikes

Not like she called you an Overinvolved boomer — or held you to any accountability (Yet) ...

Who order-

[This is getting really tox

and I don’t trust the writers ✖️ Just putting it over there in case I need it .....

You

.. [Grooming isn’t cool

Self deprecation isn’t either]

Aight

Also there’s a process you need to go to to speak?

Money doesn’t matter -

Killing - and hatred but the pacifistic bitch vilified

*Spoken in complement

She kicked ASS last episode

*sorry for the vulgarity I’m excited . . Also, so is this Padme’s episode.

Cause Neat.

Good

But are votes casted by clapping?

(I’m not sure)

Okay

Whelp

That’s either a bad guy or damn good red herring

I’m intrigued

Also, whatever happened to Clovis?

Like, he still a senator?

He get kicked?

Uhm

Dude,

False appreciation

Also yeah what was with that dude earlier?

[Uncle what’s his name apologize to him for Padme’s comment despite Uncle what’s his name being the one who made it, implying dude took a serious issue with it,]

Also, Oo, is this working of the previous quote about the line between friends and foes being blurred.

[I like consistency]

So it has to be one of those guys,

The ones in the room with her,

I’m putting a guess on Senator-

The one uncle what’s- his-name apologized to

That guy

[Or it could be that guy that]

No actually he’s probably abstain ed for that reason

Sorry I’m getting ahead - But it does say “Murder,”

And I am curious . Really going over - Also why is that guy bowing?

[Tran-slation?]

Right . obvious villain .

Also light bullshit..

There’s no- way guy could’ve made it over there

The thing is still in session

We saw him less than a minute ago

And she just came in directly

[He’d be halfway down the hallway]

For likely scope

Yeah, this dude is totally a Red Herring - He’s way too over the top ... I’m putting my bets On that human Senator Guy . CHILD SOLDIERS ARE BAD! [sorry I just felt the need to say that,]

Okay, Uncle-what’s his name-

Other person

That guy-

Drink -ing!

Nice

Vi-ctory

Oh, this looks like a problem

Child groomers In- corporate-

Off

Second Red herring!

(It’s that guy and I’m sticking with it)

Private

Yeah, like how did he even get into the room without a key card?

I know Amidala’s a senator and by that, A public servant, But you figure if they’re bringing out the alcohol, they’d shut the door

-Declare off hours

-For the celeb ration-

Separatist Con Spiracy-

She has a point-

You did a hundred percent enable his behavior

(No argument there)

Pro- separatist

Ah, uncle back stabber there would contradict you

Not sure if you’re the same species

But, you do know about his bullshit,

Don’t assume accountability free snarking Territory (They’re all enablers so I’m not even going to bother with the math, About who screwed up more, All the elders here are held to the same standard, About,

Uncle Backstabber a little more

*Since I know what he did,

Account

From the most bastard, of the group,

Who’s the next Red herring?

It’s that dude I swear Soon

Yeah child soldiering is a bitch

As is enabling

But she has no idea what’s going to happen being the past.

Dick, whelp,

Poor Frita (I think)

He’s going he’s going to get roped into this too isn’t he?

“ We you must be doing something right,”

Nah, enabling abusers never a good idea

But then again there’s no rules for dealing with trauma individuals because they aren’t supposed to be any

How long that takes and what it entails

Is down to who ever is asserting accountability (Excluding the actual accountability, cutting Them off)

That’s unnegotiable

(And it can’t involve death)

Too. harsh-

No you haven’t-

Well, yeah

But that’s accessory at best ... Ono you’ve done a wonderful job

No he hasn’t

Don’t coddle the abuser

He’s screwed up pretty consistently

Pretty sure it’s more than five

And was leading to let the future get hecked ...

Very Likely

He wasn’t hurt

The other lady spent a lot more time defending

She should get the ‘don’t listen to them’

If anything just ‘reflect the bitch’ (Neutral) Aight

Too Late!

Can someone stop playing the sad music?

This isn’t sad

And you can’t make me sympathize for the abuser

(I- don’t trust this writer)

That Dude sus

Aight

Faker-

He’s dying you dumb ass

(Having a heart attack probably

All the stress of denial)

Whelp

Call!

Please

Whelp

-Oh wait bitch is dead?

Uhm.

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD the WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!

(I know that seems really harsh- But dude- deserved it

And I never have to deal with that character anymore!

So,

Al- right the funeral;

Um,

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD the WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!

(I’m sorry I really hated that character-)

* In reality the loss of life is a very serious thing and I don’t mean to make light of it

But no one is required to feel sad about their abusers- Nor toxic individuals Nor anyone else Yes the loss of life is a serious thing But it should not And could not control a person’s life

I’ve always played accountability over death Or death penalty ...

“...was is a flawed man,”

He tried to sell someone into slavery...

The fact that Amidala was an adult and could get out of the situation Doesn’t forgive how terrible that situation was.

Un-healthy And Wrong

“Own mistakes”

And he tried to guilt trip everyone into giving him validation

Specifically Amidala

Every occasion

[Also flawed Some one breaking the code once or twice, (Under five) Is flawed,

This dude tox,

He should’ve been sentenced to accountability along time ago

For trying to make the world a generally terrible place for someone

Multiple times-

That’s not okay

[and he clearly didn’t learn his lesson]

[Note; whether a person “learned their lesson” or not, Is irrelevant

[They already knew the rules before]

But he never compromised his principles-

HaHAha,

What?

That’s because dude didn’t have any principles

He broke them long before,

Also why the frick does Master Yoda care?

Dude was a politic,

The Fuck,

He engaging this propaganda?

Why?

Why does he care about any of this.

Why does ANY one

[Satine, alright, hermen got murdered and she might be looking for evidence on who-done-it That’s fair

Oh says it’s an everyone event

That makes sense

Guessing the Jedi are required to come or else the branded as that asshole

Fair

Eyes

Aight

What- ever-

Why the guard?

Like cultural customs

Aren’t honor guards for veterans (And possibly extremely high positions, Like Chancellor?

As technical commander of the army?

Like, Explain?

That guy-

Sus

Very Sus-

Pas- sed

I’d say to find his killer

But yeah I can’t really blame anyone for not caring that much about that dude

Specifically Amidala

(Though accountability law..

Frita is honestly my favorite character

I don’t know why.

Possibly his relation to the chancellor and how he still a good natured guy,

Aight

Yeah he was a dick,

Hope those aren’t memories [also totally the Kamooin B- Right?

[Like I’m totally still after Dude, ]

But she’s the only one that touched the bottle]

That we saw?

Dude did suggest it

Still heavily sussing him . No Face . Also is that his wife?

(Don’t think it was ever established)

I-

Mentor

How old is this person?

I’m gonna assume adult

So.

He toxically asserted authority over me.

Or wrong choice of words and they meant like “best friend”

Cause that’s kind of tox,

Me?

- -

This is getting Hella tox

You’re a person

Yeah you might miss him and that’s totally fine

But-

You’re still a person completely able to self determine.

‘ take his place,’

Oh no

Shit

Just what she needs overinvolvement

Right

Not threatening at all

Oh Red . We never see them enter . Right . Well this turned from a private party to a Conference

I thought he was just calling to offer condolences.

Questions.

Oh, Did you not tell the loud ones what happened to their loved one?

(Like normally I’m all for no one should witness anyone else’s death Or that news be public

But this is assumed authority. And that stuff is pretty normal

Regardless of how terrible. Senator Fa

This guy seems like a drip

[Guessing that’s the reason why Amidala is going to end up taking charge,]

Because the Chancellor hired a sham detector Whelp

Dick way to put it

True, the protocol for murder isn’t cutting and clear

Dragging random people into it, isn’t

You see it you’re immediately accountable,

(Only by view of the body, Not by word of mouth)

Because this kind of approach is super in-effective,

Whelp Great

Also there were thousands of senators in that building that could screw up the thing

Only five

(I’ll give the murder mystery It’s Dues, And let it continue, But (im-probabilit- ies is not a good thing)

Might Want To Avoid

(Also if that’s the qualification; I’m sussing Amidala, Dude was a dick to her)

THOUGH I’M STILL- SUSS -ING DUDE IN Blue? dude with the beard

That one.

Build-ing <—- He Sus

Him

—-

Ha!

Here

Hey that was almost emotion, Nice

(also, dang how frequent are murders?

Him

<—-

He Sus

He didn’t take a seat like everyone else

[Also, it was purple Dude wearing purple that’s who I’m talking about]

Also are you going to introduce him as the detective ?

‘cause you’re kind of screwing with these people

Not telling them what’s going on

Answering in vague Snark

Him. ...

For no reason

Considering he was an uncountable toxic frick who allowed it lots of people to get hurt-

I’m mad,

A ight

Right..

And

Okay, He’s got a point

Immediate accountability is the case murder for good reason

Surprised they didn’t start this right after the murder

When it happened

Dude- [i’m not going to criticize the spatial awareness]

Him

<—-

Right there

Murder

A good point since they really haven’t explained anything?

Okay, Right

Or anyone stealthy

Though yeah I guess politicians

[just don’t like the generalization]

Someone good With he rbs..

Okay.

Neat.

Insult.

Poor. Frita

He didn’t deserve this,

(Well yeah he’s an enabler,)

But He’s the least toxic..

[Also poor Frita, Always getting sucked into these mysteries

He’s the shaggy of this damn group

[Likes food and hanging out with people, Gets dragged into bullshit,

Rip

Insulting the whole damn room ..... This character is obnoxious

But in a fun way

The narr -atives- clearly having fun

Ono yeah he was an open dick

[Seriously they’re treating him like-]

No it couldn’t possibly be because he was an ex separatist,

Open book Case,

Con-troversial

Politicians arguing over basic human decency

And common sense

‘Do we really.. Ok that’s enough politic jokes

The movie started it so I had to finish it.

Now on with.

Dude drunk

Dick

“ I’m totally-”

Um, this is delicious corruption

How long until Amidala figures what’s going on?

Whelp

He just left?

He really is a quack

Did you find him on fakedetectives.com?

Palpatine?

Crud

Okay,

That guy,

Target

Good

Aight

Also it’s that guy Authority ass- umer sus,

No No,

Good plan

Ono

Good plan

Evil.

Aight

Good

In-vestigation

Yes- Good

Let’s Do It ...

It’s that guy

Him

He -a dick

Also not to claim authority over him

Not, not to be cu- rious- -

No-pe

Authority figures don’t

He was an ass

Also yeah just put all the possible suspects in the room - That Guy

Uhm

Ty-pho

Agana!

That fricker

Onu looked at him before his death - He came back last to the party-

He was the first to suggest opening the drinks - Also the thing with the detective and him just trying to get over as quickly as possible

He sus,

Aight,

Right, - Don’t - get stabbed

Um-

Aight

Wha-

Ha, such a red herring-

Okay-

Oh, Red herring Co-nference

Didn’t notice the snake lady (Kamoin) Empty Chair - Also they know each other?

Good, evil for them,

Fair

Aight

Also yeah the boomers here didn’t do it - More likely someone from the Present Gen.. .

Theory

That Guy..

Guy’s like damn

Like just give her your time and your place and your alibi.

Whelp, Aight

So I’m pretty sure if I had paid attention to the bottles, That wouldn’t have matched up ...

Yeah he was a separatist

DAMN

Like I saw the hand on the dock But I thought it was an assassin or team up

But

DAMN

I feel verified

Until it played music victory music Over the arrest of a distressed and less toxic person

*While painting the toxic person as a saint

Which I cannot condone

As such;

it earns my most regretful strike;

Official;

For attempting to excuse a toxic person’s actions

* I want to emphasize that this is not ok, a person does not get off for un- accountable actions, simply by apologizing, never mind the fact - that it is an attempt to guilt-trip Invalidate And Gas- light The Recipient, But also should not apply to someone that has repeatedly attempt to Gaslight, guilt trip and sell a person into slavery; (Crossing more than five accounts)

[never mind the selectivi ty of what it is applied “Ano” getting away With slavery, be -cause he Was “So- rry,” gun held to (-near) his Back While Lolo doesn’t just mummer sorry)

That once you commit harm against another person.. it can not be taken back, the victim owes you no sympathy, no right to their emotions, and certainly, no un accountability- Forgive Ness- From what you have done.

You must live with what you have commit

Regard Less

0 notes

ssimagines · 7 years ago

Text

A long road Ahead || Legolas

Pairing: Legolas Greenleaf x PlusSized!reader

Word Count: 1429 (kinda short sorry)

Summary: You are a human from Gondor who in love with an elven man. Not only is your loved looked down upon because of your difference in race, but people also take up issue with your size

Warnings: Fluffy, some terrible people fat shaming (but the reader rises above their petty hate and rocks like the badass she is), minor swearing... ()should have said that first

Request: Hello I was wondering if you could do a Legolas x human plus size female reader Request? Kind regards Class 5 Mutant171

Note: Because you didn’t specify when you wanted this to take place, I just set in between the hobbit trilogy and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

I honestly don’t know if this is what you wanted, but here. Sorry it took so long.

Masterlist

Human. Your race. It was so simple, yet it was something that separated you from the elf that you loved. The people of Gondor weren’t known for their tolerance for different things, so when Legolas first started courting you, you got a lot of stares. You figured that it was just the difference in your race and you were able to ignore it.

It had been nearly ten months since you started seeing each other and you were happy. Beyond happy. You were over the moon. You fell in love with Legolas. You fell hard and he had caught you. Nothing could be better.

The people of Gondor had moved on from their distain of your relationship. They had grown to accept the two of you together. It was unusual for them to readily accept something, but you were grateful because the stares had worn down Legolas down. You were glad that that weight was no longer on his shoulders.

Legolas had been away lately. He was working with Strider which you had been told was actually Aragorn II, son of Arathorn II, the rightful king of Gondor. He had told you that he would be back today and you were now awaiting his arrival. You were out running your flower cart looking toward the gate every once in a while.

“How much for this beautiful rose, Melamin,” The voice was music to your ears. You whipped around to see the man you loved holding a single rose. He was wearing a clock to conceal himself. He had probably walked right past you earlier without you even noticing.

“Neled celeb,” you respond in elvish (three silver). It was your way of showing him that you knew it was him. His face lit up when you spoke. Slowly he removed his cloak from covering his head fished out coins from a small bag he carried with him.

He placed them in you had with a smile. Without saying another word, you took the coins from him and placed them with the rest of your day’s pay. An older man’s voice caught your attention. You turned to look at the man and help him buy flowers as well. He told you that he was buying them for his wife’s birthday. He had a wide grin that warmed you as you listened to him speak so enthusiastically about the woman he had been with for forty years.

Your mind wandered to you future as you listened to the older man speak. You couldn’t help but think of your life forty years from now. Your aging body being held by Legolas forever young figure. Your children coming to visit you. As you thought about it you realized just how truly much you loved Legolas. You felt Legolas’s presence beside you. He had walked over to you during your time daydreaming.

The man paid and departed with his bouquet of flowers. You turned to meet Legolas eyes with your own.

“When will you be done?” His voice seemed to float on top of all the sound in the very busy square. “I need to properly greet you.”

“I only have a few more flowers to sell for today,” You said gesturing to the cart in front of you. When Legolas looked, he saw that there were indeed only a few single flowers and two bouquets left.

“I will return to your home,” he said. “Meet me there when you are finished and I will take care of you.”

You smiled at him and nodded.

“I will see you later,” you said. You took a moment to press a chaste kiss onto Legolas lips. When you pulled away, you saw him cringe slightly. It hurt, but you brushed off as he walked away.

It didn’t take you too long to sell the rest of the flowers you had picked that day. It seemed that there was some sort of love bug in the air as everyone was buying flowers left and right all day. You made your way down the cobblestone path to your home while pushing your cart. Along the way you heard the familiar whispers and saw the common looks of distain on the people’s faces as you walked past.

As sad as it was to say, this was nothing new. You had dealt with this reaction your whole life. Growing up in a position of power, your parents never had any trouble with keeping you and your sisters feed. Often times, you had “overindulged” as you had plenty of food. This cause you to be larger than many of the other children growing up. The weight you had was maintained now, but you were still larger than nearly all the common people. This caused them to treat you harshly, but you knew that it didn’t define who you were so you had grown to ignore the prying eyes.

You reached your small, quaint home. You pushed your cart to its place outside and made your way to be greeted again by the man you loved.

“Nae saian luume',” Legolas said (it has been too long). His voice was barely above a whisper as he wrapped you in his arms. The feeling of the embrace was comforting and one you had definitely missed while he was away.

“Vedui’ a'maelamin,” you said as you pushed your face into his chest (greetings my beloved). You breathed his woodland smell as he buried his face in your long hair. The two of you stood their together wrapped in each other’s arms for what could have been an eternity. When you pulled away, it still wasn’t enough.

“I have missed you gravely during my travels,” he said. “All my thoughts were of you here. Being apart from you, burns wholes in me that only you can heal. I want you to come with me.”

To say you were shocked would have been an understatement. You pulled away from him further as you tried to understand what was going on. When Legolas had started courting you, you had asked several times to come with him, but he had always said that it would be too dangerous. Now he was asking you to come along.

Part of you was happy that he wanted you beside him, but the other part of you knew there was more to this than him just missing you.

“Legolas, what is wrong?” you spoke gently laying you hand on his arm. He looked down to place you were connected with love and concern filling his gaze. He slowly placed his hand on top of yours. His thumb calloused ran along your smooth skin, but you enjoyed the rough feeling that it provided.

“I worry for your safety here,” he spoke quieter than he ever had before. “You are my world, and here they look at you like the scum on the bottom of their horse’s feet. They speak ill of you and call you names when you cannot hear them. They call you large and ugly. They are awful to you and yet you still are so nice. I worry that they will cause you to lose your brilliant shine.”

You offered him a warm smile and moved to wrap your arms around the elf again. He eagerly took you into his arms.

“I mind not of their words and their looks,” You said. “I know better than their words who I am. I will always be stronger than anything they can say or do to me. The weight that I carry matters not to who I am. If it matters to them they are not important. I am better than that. They cannot break me.”

A single tear ran down Legolas’s left cheek and fell between you. You brought your hand to his face to wipe away the tear that was trying to make its way down his other cheek. The love his tears signified was one that was strong than anything that had graced Gondor in many years.

The two of you stood in silence just enjoying being with one another. Legolas relaxed the longer that the two of you stood their together. Slowly you lead him to lay beside you on your bed. You still held each other.

Legolas started telling you stories of his most recent journey. He told you of the secret romance between man he considered his brother and the Lady of Rivendell, Arwen. He told you everything until he slowly drifted off to sleep.

“Amin mela lle,” you whispered as you slowly fell asleep in his arms.

TAGGED: @class-5-mutant171

#legolas imagine #legolas greenleaf #legolas #legolas greenleaf imagine #the hobbit #legolas x reader #legolas greenleaf x reader #the hobbit imagine #lord of the rings #lord of the rings imagine #legolas fluff #plus size #plus sized reader #plus sized imagine

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01sentencereviews · 7 years ago

Text

this bryan singer exposé (i mean, it’s not really an “exposé” since it’s been pretty well documented over the past several years that singer is a man who is not to be trusted…) has me reflecting a lot on my own experiences working in the industry…

(mind you: i’ve never experienced anything quite as dehumanizing or as abusive or as painful as the dozens of brave survivors of genuine abuse who have spoken out recently both publicly and privately. however, these stories are definitely and scarily recognizable, so please know i am in full support of every silence breaker.)

i’ve been a PA on a network television show for about 15 months now, and while (thankfully?) the vast majority of my stress and occasional unhappiness has been totally “work” related, thanks to all the typical bullshit most people experience when they begin working full-time in entry level positions (constantly feeling undervalued, feeling pressured to enable and excuse terrible behavior simply because you’re “supposed” to, having to almost daily hear people tell you how “wrong” you are and point out the most minute of “mistakes” you make solely to make themselves feel better), i am very familiar with the type of behavior several victims are finally beginning to feel comfortable talking about publicly.

i’m a gay 23 year old person (22 when i began working full time), who only began feeling comfortable being “out” once i finally graduated from school and began working in the industry, finally feeling like a “real adult.” i’m apparently very young looking, which people, particularly older (gay) men, LOVE to point out… which makes me uncomfortable (tho, thankfully, i wouldn’t say any of them have “crossed the line”). the industry is clearly “open” when is comes to anything sex related, which, to be frank, was sort of exciting in the beginning because it was the first time i felt comfortable, “safe” being an openly gay person and talking about sex and men in any type of romantic or sexual way. that being said, i definitely see older man pry on younger employees, particularly young women. i selfishly and loathly recognize the juvenile positive response to having a more “important” person show interest in you, so i clearly understand why people put up with such inappropriateness.

i’ve only had sex with one coworker. in an industry where this supposed hierarchy of people is so highly regarded and followed, he is obviously considered a much more “important” person than me within the production (granted, as a PA, everyone is technically “above” me and considered more “important” simply because “that’s the way it is”). he is older (the first time we hooked up, he was 30 and i was 22), and he did offer me drugs in the middle of the first time we were having sex. admittedly, this was a new experience for me and it confused me and even scared me slightly, but i was very thankful that when i said no, he didn’t try to pressure me whatsoever and never once asked me about it again. the experience was very much consensual, so i don’t want this to be literally compared with other people’s stories of assault and abuse. i was extremely lucky. we’ve hooked up one other time since and that experience was honestly very nice. i still really like this person, perhaps way more than i’d like to officially admit, to the point where it makes me sad to realize nothing will, or maybe should, result from these possible very one-sided feelings.

i’ve been to industry parties where drugs are clearly prevalent and in abundance. i work in an environment where drugs are clearly being used during work hours. i mean, i’m no narc… but i do realize this isn’t “normal.�� it’s very hard to explain… everyone in the industry is essentially “working” well over 50% of their conscious livelihoods. we’re at work constantly. at least 12 hrs/day. the work never “stops.” people, especially those in higher positions, need to always be thinking about the overall production because so much money ($$$) is always being spent at absolutely every level, and we all know how people react when it comes to money… it’s a LAX work environment, but a stressful one. i’ve seen grown adults (men) throw extreme and sometimes frightening tantrums, throwing objects and furniture across their offices, for something as rudimentary as the internet working slowly. i’ve know people who have been fired for sexually inappropriate behavior and for violence against other coworkers. we’re always encouraged to be a “family,” that we’re all in this together, but that clearly means people think they’re allowed to talk about whatever they want whenever they want with whomever they want. it’s exhausting. being around people for that long every single day is exhausting. i can easily see how people can become victims to such manipulative, inappropriate, and sometimes intimidating behavior from people who have zero issue with letting them know how much more “important” they are. at our wrap party last season, the underage actors were partying with us at two different bars. i don’t think they were “partying” in the same way the other adults were, but i also realize i was definitely under the influence while i was around them, and that makes me very uncomfortable in retrospect because i don’t feel like i should be in that state when i’m around teenagers. but at the same time, because they are cast members, part of the “family,” they are clearly expected to be there.

the entertainment industry is one where everyone is expected to “grow up” immediately (one of the first things a coworker said to me on my very first week of work was that i had “a lot of growing up to do”), yet it’s also an industry where literally no one ever “grows up.” maybe every adult feels this way in this world. maybe it’s not just those that work in tv and film. but, either way, working in this particular industry, where my coworkers are constantly talking about these silence breakers and how they themselves are coming to the realization that their experiences with other coworkers sometimes mimic the experiences of the silence breakers, it’s hard to not be constantly reflecting on all of this. it’s overwhelming. it’s sad.

i don’t expect for these stories of abuse in the industry to slow down any time soon. i think more and more “important” people will be “exposed.” it seems that most young people like me who are just now entering this business simply aren’t willing to put up with this bullshit. i’ve had my direct boss pull me aside multiple times now to tell me that i’m too “combative” in the office and need to literally dwindle myself, my newfound voice, in order to be considered a more cooperative, “better” employee. these conversations, while somewhat reflecting truth, are still nonetheless condescending and make me feel like literal shit.

i’m very inspired by everyone speaking out. i think it’s brave and important and provides genuine hope for a better future. obviously, there’s some hypocrisy within the industry itself. obviously many celebs are jumping on board with this movement while still actively supporting literal predators. in some ways, i feel like i’m doing something similar by simply working in this current industry… but i refuse to stay silent. i find great confidence when i, a little, “unnecessary” PA, tell one of my “superiors” when they’re being terrible. i refuse to feel bad for telling adults, my literal peers, when they’re being shitty, mean, hurtful people. it’s important. it holds people accountable. i need to be even better at it. i promise to be even better at it, even if it potentially gets me fired.

i feel like i’m not explaining myself well (do i ever?)… it’s all just A Lot to be saying…

no matter what, have a great night, everyone :)

and thank you for reading.

#personal #do not reblog

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praphit · 4 years ago

Text

UnKempt Gems: Rant or Review? Fight or Cuddle?

For a while, everything has felt wrong. Everything still kinda feels wrong, but we’re moving more towards normalization now. Kinda like a stanky smell in the room that people notice when they first encounter it, but after being around it for a while, they don’t notice it anymore. But, things are still very wrong.

And people are on edge! - as well they should be.

Every gesture, every word, every post, someone can find a reason to say that your attention towards what's going on in our country right now is insufficient and or offensive:

For every inspirational word, there are people who want to stay angry and aren't ready for that type of talk (which is valid). For every negative word towards the police and their life time of brutality, there are cops or families and friends of cops who are up in their feelings about it.

For any post that is humorous (not about life destroyed, of course) there are people who will want to dictate when you're allowed to laugh again.

One must be careful of any post not in tune with certain sensibilities to what's going on right now, because people are quick to call you tone deaf. So, keep the posts concerning your cute kids, your less than bright pets (or vice versa), and your weight loss selfies to a minimum.

For every word about other serious stuff (like COVID-19), people don't want to pay attention (if only the crappiness of life only hit us in one area at a time) For any post about what you're doing to help the cause (BLM), people will say that you're not doing enough (and maybe they’re right).

If you say nothing, people will judge you. Even when we were posting black boxes, people were still divided on THAT.

Remember that scene in "The Dark Knight", when the Joker set Gotham up?

(if you haven't seen this movie by now, put it on the quarantine binge list):

The Joker caused chaos in Gotham City (though honestly, that city was already chaotic). Part of his plan within this chaos was to play a game with two boats full of people - both boats had explosives on them. Each boat had a detonator. Each detonator went with the bombs on the opposite boat. Decisions had to be made, and if the people on the boats didn't decide which boat of the two would blow up, the Joker would step in and make things horrible for everyone.

It feels like that right now... TENSE. Everyone seems to be part of a group, you're trying to survive, you're hoping that other groups don't do something terrible, and hoping that you won't have to do something terrible, but times are crazy (#apocalypse2020).

You've got people who want to defund the police. You've got the police doubling down, as if they're the victims here. You've still got people peacefully protesting. You had secret groups causing all kinds of trouble (which we've oddly not done much about). You've got people just trying to work - not everyone in Gotham City was part of the chaos; some people were just trying to get through their shift. You've got people taking matters into their own hands. And with all of this, we've got a "leader" who only has three moves (like an old school fighting video game) - lying, dividing, and bullying. Feels like we have to pick a team, and just hope that it works out for us. Idk.

You've got people hiding under their beds, hoping that if they wait it out long enough, it'll all blow over and get back to normal. I hate to burst your comfort bubble, but "normal" has been gone and dead for a while now; there's no going back to that.

For black people, we've been in this fight forever. For us, it comes down to whether or not we want to believe that this current installment of the movement will be any different.

For white people.... well, I've seen some white people who look at me with MORE distain now (their true colors are evident) But, other white people have been extra nice to me... it’s awkward, but I appreciate the sentiment.

Meanwhile, other white people are doing stuff like this -

.A group of random white actors apologizing to all black people - say that sentence out loud... it doesn’t even sound right.

I still haven't been able to get through it; it's too cringe-worthy. I couldn’t even bring myself to add a link (but it’s still online, if you’re up for the challenge). Celebs, hear me, don’t make anymore videos until we’re done with the quarantine. It's not so much tone deaf as it is useless. It only serves their own guilt. Sarah Paulson is up there with her serious glasses on. Jesse Pinkman blubbering throughout the vid, looks like he’s is up there praying for us. And some of them said some things that made me think “What the hell did you actual do? Are some of these criminal confessions?” - Just totally useless.

Imagine if we were still riding on the METOO movement, and a bunch of random men put out a vid:

"I'm sorry for every time I went to reach for a bag of chips, and brushed up against your butt, and said it was an accident... it wasn't."

"I'm sorry for every time I laughed at demeaning, sexual jokes at your expense... they WERE kinda funny though."

"I'm sorry that every day, at work, I stared at your chest. You'd catch me. I'd apologize, you'd walk away, and then I'd stare at your butt."

"I'm sorry for all of the unsolicited pics of my junk that I sent you during our first and last date; for calling you derogatory names once you declined my advances. Getting drunk the next night, when I would send you more junk pics, and ask you out again."

“I’m sorry for not taking my young daughter to see Wonder Woman in the theatres. I wasn’t in the mood for a comedy about a woman saving the world. My bad.”

"We hear you. We believe you NOW. You matter. So... we're good right?"

We don't need to make announcements about the changes that we're making. Or how “woke” we want others to believe we are now. If you’re going to change, just change.

And then there's this guy...

I... I just can't...

Of course there's what's happening with other races and cultures, and other life stuff (did I mention COVID-19? I have a feeling it's getting jealous, and that's not good for us).

Oh, and did y’all hear about Officer Karen? (here’s the link)

Pretty much, she had to do some waiting for an Egg McMuffin, and after all of the waiting, she didn’t get it (the food... but also, you know... IT), and then she cried because of all of the anxiety and tension that she has had to endure recently, due to all of the protests. When criticized she replied that people were missing the point.

I’m not heartless. Normally, a person breaking down like that would be my kryptonite. But, in this case, there is some funny behind those tears.

Let’s see - feeling anxious, threatened, forced to be patient when you deserve better treatment (and leaving unfulfilled), crying, ridiculed, and when you voice your perspective people shout you down, while you feel like people are missing the point - hmmm.

Plus, cops are supposed to be bad ass and dangerous! Keeping us safe from all of the scary people out there. How am I supposed to have confidence in you and your badassery, once you post a vid of yourself crying over some McDonald’s?

It’s gonna be aiight, Karen. I’m sure someone will solve the case for you. But, in the meantime, pull yourself together.

I (not unlike our friend Karen) was emotionally drained, so I watched

"Uncut Gems"

I had actually written a complete review, but... you know... I did this instead:)

This movie, "Uncut Gems" is about a degenerate gambling jeweler named Howard (played by Adam Sandler). Howard is a hot mess. Howard's professional life is a hot mess. Howard's family life is a hot mess. Howard's hot mistress (yep, MISTRESS) is a hot mess. You get the idea; that's the whole movie. I look at jewelers totally different now; I've stereotyped them all. That's how you do it, right? Here's a person who's different than me. I'm not going to ask many questions. I'm just going to assume things about him, as well as assume that all of his people are the same way All jewelers are high-risk-gambling degenerates.

Gambling is a vice that I've never quite understood. An addiction to ice cream makes total sense. An addiction to my lovableness is completely understandable.

I guess I've never had the money or the patience to be a degenerate gambler. Every now and then, I'll venture to the casinos, but once I lose for the first time, I'm ready to go. I'm a starving artist. You don't hear about too many artists struggling with gambling. Drugs and alcohol, baby! Those are vices that I can respect!

This is the most stressful movie that I've ever watched. It didn't even feel like a movie. It was like following the IG stories of the most stressed out person that you know. Considering the stress that's already in the world right now, this was the WORST movie decision I could have possibly made. It IS technically a good movie, but I can't say that I enjoyed it.

Grade: a very stressful B

Kevin Garnett is in this movie.

He was my favorite basketball player before he retired. He played for the Boston Celtics. Pretty good in this movie... though playing himself.

Boston is notorious for its racism. The realm of sports has amplified this fact in the past. But, KG has stated that he didn't experience much of that, BUT he was also an amazing player, who was a big part of a championship team.

Food for thought:

Imagine if he had stunk up the joint. He could have very well have just been a tall black man, who stunk up the joint in a racist town. In this rare case, we have KG here who had lessened experiences of Boston’s racism, but he had to be exceptional in that particular industry for that to be a possibility. We can’t all be KG.

In the beginning of the movie, a question is asked to Howard by his hot mistress - "Do you want to fight or cuddle?"

I didn't know that cuddling was an option.

All I want to do right now is fight. (Side note: White people, you're going to have to be ok with the black people in your life that are more hostile right now than you're used to)

Someone recently asked me if I'm ok - not because of the racial tensions on the incline, but because they're not used to me being this unsettled... it makes them uncomfortable.

We've gotta hold on, and keep fighting.

(btw #justiceforbreonnataylor)

But, there are also times when you have to take flight. Not, run, necessarily, but regroup and think things through. Try fighting fire with water instead of more fire.

(former Atlanta police chief listening to protesters)

I'm trying to think of any times when one should choose the cuddle option.

Though I suppose, if I had that same hot mistress that Howard had, I'd choose to cuddle as well. You gotta take care of your mistresses.

Though if your hot mistress is TOO hot, she’ll eventually end up cheating on you with The Weeknd

I don't think it would work in reverse, for me. People always seem to want to fight me. Am I not cuddly?

Perhaps in politics, where we have fought for so long, and are still screwed up. Both sides stink!

Picture the Left and Right having a giant sleepover. Trump and Pelosi in their pj's. Do you think Trump has pj's? Or does he go nothing but tighty-whities?

They’d of course have to take some precautions - Idk if ANTI-COVID-19 Snuggle Gear exist or not, but it should. Perhaps we should try to scrub-up and snuggle it out, until we make some progress.

Idk.

I also don't know what my future movie review posts will look like. Like most black people, these events have stirred something monumental in me. Something has changed in me, and I can't nor do I want to go back. But, like many, I need a lil escapism.

I can compartmentalize with the best of them, so I could see myself giving my normal praphitic review as soon as next week. I could also see myself trying to review some animated family flick

- and out of nowhere, start ranting about systemic racism.

I guess we'll find out together :)

Power, peace, and love.

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