#most of my characters happen to be masc because im a man

[mr-orion]

I can't believe I self-identify as hetero but am out here writing the gayest, queerest, characters in my freetime. It's not like I premeditated this. Like I'm not even attracted to men past the "He's cute" phase but the self exploration be hitting hard. I know men, so I write men, and what does this man want to do? Kiss others sensually. Obviously.

If anyone opened up my google docs they'd be like "this is the most homosexual fucker on Earth." Not that I mind being called gay. I wouldn't be scared to fall for a man, I just don't forsee that ever happening for me. Have you seen men? If it does though, we can point to this post as an I told you so.

Itsjustthatmytwoocshappentohavealotincommonandtheymeshsowellandthenoops18pageslaterthey'reinloveorhavingthesteamiestconnuptialsever!notthatipersonallywanttodothatwithmascpeopleatthemoment...!itsaboutthepersonalityright?!

[shjiyemis]

Warning!!! Gonna mention topics like racism and transphobia, and internalized versions of them. Heavy subjects that we know are going on with these characters are not being ignored just not going into them fully!!!

----

Ok guys get ready for trans guy Bro Strider concept with a side of Dirk and Dave, it is a novel so look out LOL

This is an interpretation and concept I made up for fun with my headcanons, a theory even. So don't put words in my mouth. None of this canon nor am I saying it is. (but it's definitely canon in this head of mine, leave me be GJVFHCHF)

This is not me making excuses for Bro either, I am simply giving him a backstory and more layers.

---------

I headcanon Bro Strider as a trans guy (bc I headcanon Dirk as trans-masc), but like a trans guy who's lives in the down-low about being gay but completely hides that he's trans. I imagine he strayed away from any family he had before transitioning and was like, never gonna go back lol. Im pretty sure Bro was like a young adult around the 70s or 80s too so like we all know what was going on around those times tbh, plus the general prejudice that happened during those times (and to this day) can definitely imagine him dissociating from that in general.

IT ALSO ADDS ON BC I HEADCANON HIM AS BLACK SO LIKE black trans gay guy, pls that'd be a monstrosity of trauma whether it was indirect OR direct. 😱😱😱

My whole idea is that Bro was dissociating from most of that, probably met Mom Lalonde at some point in the past (like not romantically or sexually or anything of the sort). He's always been smart and a strong guy and able to work around shit but I think later on he actually starts becoming successful in the p0rn industry. Kind of where he was at his high but yeah, after he started gaining such popularity and success during that time is where Dave comes into the picture.

Uses training that he's seen in anime (stupid idiot) and as well as like Lil Cal guidance,,, let's not forget that puppet possessed in the beta universe... (And honestly I wouldn't be surprised if Bro Strider had an already general idea of extreme physical training before hand btw) Also like.... Bro is an asshole btw,,,,, A HUGE ONE!!! empathy is low, just cares about solutions but not really process, as long as it gets good results it doesn't matter.

Generally a shitty guy who won't give most people the time of day, unless he's getting something out of it.

~---~

I skipped a lot of things that are like more important to Homestuck bc I'm mostly talking about Broooo rnnnn so if you were like "there's stuff missing" it's bc I skipped it GJCGJVGVJGVJ

~---~

I also headcanon Dave as a trans guy, which is funny because all the striders really hopped on the trans ur gender train lololol

Dave's transness is way more different from Bro's though, more through experience. Dave was simply raised and he believed himself to be a boy because Bro was a boy and he also liked the stuff aligned with it. He never went to public school, he was homeschooled but he walked in the city alone alot, probably made a few friends in parks or near school grounds but was never IN school.

He was a boy no one really questioned it, so it only came up that he could be societally aligned with girls later on, like probably 10-12. But was probably pushed out of any traumatic shock by Bro about it and Bro was probably giving Dave a lot of like "man up" mentality. He was never actually able to process it much so it just never bothered him until later on in his life (probably mid-meteor ride).

-----

Like the trans Bro kind of came up one day when I was hyperfixating on Dirk (whom I headcanon as trans-masc, not a trans guy persay but he definitely leans into man label, I've been playing with his dislike for labels and kind of putting him under queer haha!) which is also fun and interesting to play with Bro because that also implies he's non-binary but like doesn't understand that label on the slightest nor cares enough to identify as anything else but as a guy!!

(Also quickly wanted to add that a good label that aligns with Dirks gender /for ppl who need it/ would be nonbinary guy/demi-guy/trans-masc nonbinary, Dirk just doesn't strictly label it, nor does he want to)

Like a few friends I've talked to said Bro would definitely be a transmed and honestly he probably is but more to the degree of not understanding ppl that go against the transmed ideology but like not caring bc it's not business (in my whole concept anyways), he's not interested in it or most people so he doesn't really blurt out about it. He'd probably think people like Kalvin Garrah and ppl similar to him are dumb as hell bc like, "cis ppl have always hated us wtf are you on?" But he also doesn't involve himself in any LGBT politics/problems, at most keeps up with stuff so he gets his down low business done safely.

----

Dave would be considered to literally be a stud if he was known to be afab, he also has small breasts like Dirk/Bro too so a compression shirt would do the trick easy. He never actually medically transitioned until probably post-game, as an adult.

Upon actually going through puberty Dave was simply given the pill. Bro didn't raise Dave as a trans kid, he raised him as a boy without transness in mind!

Bro didn't educate Dave about trans ppl or anything of the sort, he simply raised him. Dave was a boy and still a boy, just not the same way as Bro, expression-wise and in experience.

----

Will also definitely say this too, Dave did not know that Bro was trans.

Bro was like literally living and identifying as a cis man and his down low life was more about being a gay black man rather then a TRANS gay black man.

There's definitely a possibility he ran into a few trans men/trans-masc ppl and felt more comfortable with exposure with a few of those individuals but like yeah he kept his transness in the down-low bc even gay who were cis looked down on trans gays

Especially as someone who grew up in the 70s-80s where's trans ppl in general were seen as weirdos even within the lgbt community in certain areas AND racism. Both of those existed inside and outside the trans community.

So yeah, like. He couldn't really hide the fact he was black (though can't say he was ashamed of being black the same way he was ashamed of himself being trans, but he probably does have some slight internalized racism in general), but it had gotten "better" atleast a couple years prior of Dave arriving. His transness tho is very easy to hide. He did not need any top surgery bc he had already had small breasts and testosterone can make your breasts decrease in size as well, along with his very heavy increase in muscle? All of that made it so he didn't really need surgery at all and he made his own bottom prosthetics for himself for easy hiding during any possible sexual encounters.

-----

Hope y'all enjoyed feel free to send asks about this if you want 🥺

[molanobessivenerd]

my gender

This is gonna be a long rant abt my gender so you do have to read it. I just need to say it.

Ok so ive been question my gender/sexuality for like 3-4 years now and i this was kinda it

Oh i'm a bi girl -> im pan girl -> lesbian -> pan she/they still a girl but queerer

Then like i was more worried about trying to figure out my sexuality right cause like i wanted to be kissed before my 16th (that didn't happen) 

Then like maybe mid 2022 i started thinking about gender and i knew 2 trans people but i was kinda like no that can't be me flashforward to march 2023 i got in to will wood and i was like ‘no way i'm in anyway trans but if i could be him i would’ and i like said to myself that i just thought he was attractive?? Then the same thing happened with the character jesse st james from glee which was even weird because there was no way i would want to date him, so thats when she/they pronouns came in i put it in my bio. Then kids from my class found out and made fun of it so i changed em back to she/her. 

Then since like september last year it feels like minimum weekly i’d either not be able to stop thinking abt gender or take way too many ‘what's my gender quizzes’ 

And like i feel its alway been in the day of my head, but its becoming more prevalent since then ive been like could i be non binary, genderfluid pintrest boards. At the beginning of the year i cut my hair again, which felt so good,.

So now somedays im having thoughts like ‘oh my fucking god why cant i drink something and be a guy’ ‘please for fucks sake’ though im nor sure id like to be a man im not 100% sure im a girl (im moving further from that). But like if there was like a magical thing i could drink do idk that would turn every inch into like robert smith between 1983-2004 id do it so quickly omg. 

And like it kinda hurts that i'm not idk (and ive never felt this for any girl celebrities)

And i kinda think they are also there those thoughts but some days theyre less i thinks thats just cus im distracting myself though i dont know i could be fluid. 

But i dont want to be any guy like the men in my family most of them are big i cant think of a better word then buffheads more so my dad but i could just not want to be like them i dont have a good relationship 

I dont think i HATE being a girl- i don't love it i like some parts but i dont think its things exclusive to girls say cause gender norms n stuff. 

I dont know if i have dysphoria because that fluctuates but im vision impaired so if i dont try and look at my body i forget some of it exists i really dont like my boobs or how clothes sit on my body think i like okay with having a cups (that i could easly hide if i wanted to  i dont but that cause also be cause by the pain they cause me.

My waist i like but only because that's the part of my body thats skinnest like my body was less shapely but that skinny id be elated.

But especially o the days i think abt it more but also all the time i do wish for more masc features eg adams apple more angular face bigger hands etc etc.Voices of weird one because my voice is in mezzo soprano range my speaking voice however in chest voice is kinda low  but I was self-conscious about it growing up because it made me stand out in different even though really it wasn't I think I just thought people were staring at me for no reason.  I think I only like my voice when I'm singing when I'm acting because I can imagine myself playing characters who aren't me but idk but if it was lower like high baritone or tenor id be like so fucking happy.

And like i Kind of want to try dressing differently but I can't because a I don't want my family to know certain pieces of clothing would be mens Not that they have a problem with it I'm assuming they could though but they probably just want to talk about it and I would not but also like  I remember one time I was at the shop called Factorie  and I wanted to get the Black Parade t-shirt but it was a mens shirt  and my god the amount of anxiety I had and the amount of people that I felt were staring at me I almost had a panic attack. 

And like I feel like if I ever did do anything about gender irl  I'd run away from everyone I know and cut of connections again not because I feel like they'd be bad about it but just I've built this thing around myself so long and I don't think I could even my queer friends like i dont know  my parents I'd feel like I'd be letting them down, and like 

But also so much for my childhood makes sense

Like when I was about 8 I got eczema for the first time and my first thought was ‘oh im turning into a boy… shit what am I gonna tell my parents’  which I don't even know why my brain made that jump but i hated my boobs sometimes more then others Once they got past a certain size,  when I had a pixie cut and a couple people in the street would mistake me for a boy felt exposed ‘like shh don't tell’ 

But I was also such a girly todder/ child  from like ages four Tube8 I would pride myself on being the girlest girl never wearing pants  because I kind of think it was trying to win that competition but I don't know         

I don't think anybody read this whole thing but if you did help me out or don't I don't care but I just needed to vent this 

m

[kaeyachi]

Ngl, since November I've been like. Praying/manifesting (?) That kaeya becomes like. At LEAST a little bit transfem coded (the enchantee thing was the happiest day of my life btw), and my friend says I'm being delusional but I do not CARE ! 🙏🏾 anyways ik if Hoyoverse does actually trans code her, they'll probably be transmisognistic and constantly make jokes about her being a "man", or do it SO subtly so ppl would argue for years over whether she's mtf or a gnc dude; but tbh? In my brain, I feel like it would be nice if Kaeya felt comfortable enough with the player, to hint at one of her "secrets" or for the traveller to overhear Kaeya talking to someone (probably a random npc from Sumeru or smth) about her gender. Idk I doubt Hoyoverse would outright label one of their most popular character as trans (and they definitely wouldn't do a good job on it), but a girl can dream yk? :'•)

Thanks for the ask! Sorry I took so long, some stuff happened irl...

Before I start, I need to remind everyone that genshin is a game from china, and china is not quite open yet to LGBTQ+. MHY actually got a lawsuit for a certain scene in HI3 (leading them to remove said scene). Unlike other media that blatantly stated that they will be showing gay stuff (yes the bl manwha), MHY did not have that initiative, trapping them with a larger fan community that will include those not as open to the idea (and china has a ruling about LGBTQ+ and how they would be treated there as well that I think others should research before talking about genshin and the possibility of LGBTQ+ rep)

HOWEVER

MHY does not fall short on LGBTQ+ rep. They just can't directly say it.

Good examples I can think of for genderfluid/trans/enby are Wanderer (subtext in which he was supposed to be created in the image of Ei and is now walking around visually looking more masc), Zhongli (has stated he can change forms and has spent some time as a woman in the past), and Venti (essentially genderless and if the nameless bard were a girl, he would have looked like one too). These 3 get a free pass on the gender thing because they are essentially non-mortals.

We have also had several NPCs that are a bit more fruity as of late (blatantly at that).

As for Kaeya and their potential gender, while I wouldn't keep my hopes up on MHY being more direct on it, they could always do things lowkey, just like you have suggested! (I'd willingly be delulu about this too so im taking every hint and grabbing it with me coz there are far too many coinkidinks in my opinion hehehe)

[sentientgopro]

Alright, later today will be the one week mark since cracking, and its wild how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. Sure, I still can't actually transition for quite a long time, but just the realisations and understanding this has brought me has been life changing. To focus less on the trans part for a second, Its fucking shocking how much having something to look forward to has affected me. I never noticed how bad shit was before until its gotten better. To see the extent to which a lack of positive reasons to Carry On actually affected me on a day to day basis. But I don't wanna dwell on that, Im getting shit done and am catching up with where I should be academically. Reaching Uni keeps looking easier and easier. And yes, I still have times where I feel how I felt before. i make a small mistake, get berated for it, and wonder why I fuckin bother Carrying On. But even at that time, I know its temporary, I know itll pass, and it does. That wasn't happening before, it just stuck.

As I uncover more about myself, Im noticing more and more dysphoria, beit feelings I didnt notice before or things I did notice and found other explanations for. I know this is gonna get worse, but fuck it, I can actually recover from things now. Ill manage. Things aren't actually changing right now, I cant safely transition yet, but as I said, things also have changed.

So far this has primarily been a wider reflection on the past week but I do have something new to add. Ive noticed that, at times, I have felt like being masc is right, that having a deeper voice is right, etc. And I wondered, is it some kinda fluidity? NB? Its only certain situations, most of the time I do feel fem, so what's up with that?

And then I think about a show I'm watching right now, Gen V, and it all makes sense.

Jordan Li's powers aren't exactly clearly defined, but basically, they switch between a man and woman at will (Its not full shapeshifting, the power is binary), as well as having other general superpowers depending on which they are, making for some cool fight scenes. But outside of the fight scenes, the way the show explores which they choose is interesting (and the show DOES explicitly state what Im about to say.)

Its made clear that Jordan is more comfortable as a girl, which their parents hate. Theres a decent chunk of one episode clearly about "HES our little boy, what happened to HIM" while Jordan, originally a guy in this scene, switches infront of their parents to be more comfortable.

So why, outside of combat, do they choose to be masc?

They do it when they try to make a point. Appear authoratative and/or respectable. When interacting with people who they don't think would like them as a girl (e.g their girlfriend, Marie the protagonist, who isn't explicity bi, atleast not yet, and Jordan says they would rather be comfortable as a girl with Marie but they don't know if shes okay with it.)

And I can't help but think that makes TOTAL sense. I feel more masc at work when I want to appear strong, capable, and, dare I say it, "cool". When I'm talking to people I wish respected me more. When I'm with friends, people I know are allies and some queer, I feel more fem. I don't think I'm fluid, I think this I feel the same kinda way as Jordan.

The key takeaway from this for me is that genuinely, representation, especially in the most random places, is so good. Its interesting watching it with my parents because its a world where superpowers are very real, and this person CAN switch at will on every level. And they have to drop the "not a real man/woman" argument and struggle to find a different reason to hate what they see. The representation characters like Jordan provide says "Okay, if we play by your rules and portray what a """real man/ woman""" looks like, this is the REAL situations queer people face and the way they are treated. And you still agree with the people treating them that way. Your problem is NOT how much they are actually like their chosen gender." And its good being in something unexpected. My parents would not watch your standard kinda "queer media", yknow, stuff like heartstopper or whatever (idk, I dont either so idk what Im talking abt.) But putting good, well written rep in a spin off of a show where a dude in a trench coat shoves a bomb up an invisible dudes ass and he says cunt alot exposes them to things they would not otherwise be exposed to.

And thats only talking about the minimal effect this rep has on people who disagree with it. Much more important is the exposure for queer people who don't know it yet, or don't know how they feel, and it provides understanding, something to look at and say "thats me". Honestly, Im gettin a little tired of writing this rn, anything I could say about that aspect of representation has been said a million times already, So Ill leave it there.

So, to conclude, with the absolute hardest line ever said in a show, from Jordan Li:

"Tag team cocksplosion."

Okay maybe not the best choice.

[phoenixislost]

(1/3) Hi! I just wanted to say that I’ve been thinking about your fic again. You manage to write the topic of trans pregnancy so well, how do you do that? There’s probably a certain level of authenticity because of your experience a trans man, but I also notice a lot of thoughtfulness being put into this story. Trans pregnancy might be considered as a hard or taboo subject, but you manage to portray it as any other experience that some people go through.

(2/3) It’s written as equal parts beautiful and also difficult. Also, were you worried on how others might received a topic like this? from what i get from the story is that its not so much as pregnancy/having a child itself that bothers xiao but more so the changes from his ideal body image and having to correct others regarding the terminology (correct me if im wrong), and also the possibility of them having more kids being implied (which i honestly feel excited about!) (3/3) how do you approach the topic in a positive light and be mindful that it’s not a one-size-fits-all situation? and whats the correct terminology thats okay for the readers? i see other authors use strictly masc/feminine/interchangeable terminologies in regards to a trans character’s position as parent, so what do you think is the correct way to address them especially when considering the different types of trans perspective? (sorry if my question seems super duper lengthy :'))

My answer ended up a bit long, so read it under the cut ;A;

So, the biggest thing about writing History for me was that it was very much just for me at the time. With that in mind, I went about it the way that I personally would have wanted to be approached in such a situation. I wanted to explore this topic as a way to explore my own feelings on the matter, and maybe rationalize them. But where I could not pull from my own personal experiences, I researched others' experiences. I read articles and case studies, sought out public interviews, and looked for medical resources (that are slowly being compiled, which is awesome)! And the thing is - trans pregnancy is something that some people go through! More often than many realize, even. It's just simply pregnancy, but with parents who happen to be trans (and therefore might have some extra baggage to work with).

When I did finally decide that I would share the fic, I 100% worried about how it would be received. This fic was (and still is) my baby, and was written with only the best intentions. But there will always be the concern that I misstepped somewhere, or did not approach something delicately enough. (And particularly with the darker topics). I also worried that fellow trans men might have issue with the story. Not everyone in the trans community is particularly open to these topics in fiction, for one reason or another. But, so far, I have only had one anonymous person harass me, and everyone else who has approached me has been lovely about the story - some even found some relatability in it, which brought me so much joy to find out!

Regarding terms and the "one-size-fits-all" issues - my motto is to go by a case-by-case basis. I cannot speak for other writers, or even other trans people, but I go by what the person prefers. In Xiao's case, he has presented as a man for most of his life and for all intents and purposes is a man. For him, it was important to be seen as a father, and not a mother. That is the case for a lot of trans fathers, from my experience (and it is my own preference, as well). But gender is a spectrum, and our experiences with it vary even amongst cis people. So what might fit one person, might not fit another; and that is also perfectly valid. Any story that might take a different approach is okay, as long as it is well-intentioned (in my opinion, at least). There is the question of some tropes, like A/B/O, where gender is usually cis-normative, and I will say that it does personally squick me when a father is referred to as "mother" if they birth the children; but these are not intended to be trans stories, so I would never say that they are transphobic or otherwise problematic. To each their own, honestly. Tldr; just ask what the person prefers!

In some small regards to future children in this series: I cannot confirm nor deny. c: But I am currently writing the sequel, and have the third story planned and outlined as well. So - you'll just have to see!

Asks like this always make my day ;A; Thank you so much! (And so sorry for the long-windedness, omg).

[necrophilemagpie]

pinned post sort of until i have a better one

names magpie, he/him, trans of gender, gay of ass, adult, kinda crass and blunt but dont usually mean much by it, if i sound mad its just the autism and im not im white slavic yes but dont ask me to speak russian i have like, complicated immigrant feelings about it or some shit integra gave me autism and a gender crisis, alucards neuroses fascinate me, id love to go to a rage room with seras it sounds like great fun ship wise i think they all have something much weirder going on than romance but if sex, sexual overtones, or weird allegorical scenes of weird tension happen, then they do, why not? Did you forget how horny this anime is or something?

mostly interested in post-canon content

the prominent oc for my writing for this is a funny dragon with no real name because they're pretentious and didnt want one, i'll append their design for this here soon but enjoy a sketch of their default look for now

they're a version of a character that exists in my big boy work, i just realized one day that they'll give everyone in this anime a headache and couldnt resist.

they dont do gender so i rather you dont call them a man, most any neutral set of pronouns will do, they just dont personally enjoy being called 'it.' if you're struggling to pick they/them will just do fine.

Yes, they're dressed rather masc but its not really up to them right now. tag masterlist #necroart - drawings. may be sparce, im a full time bastard #necrowriting - writing. can and will contain themes at least as heavy as canon #dragonshapedpuzzlebox - the overarching narrative of my oc shenanigans for hellsing, a sort of imaginary next conflict of dubious canon compliance that starts with taking a weird snake hostage. If you like hot women in red dresses that abuse their henchmen you'll like the villain of this one.

Note to self - write something pretentious about the relationship between being victimized and monstrous or whatever in the final version of this post.

[gwaaaaar]

Having finished Hyde and Seek like 3 days after release here are some of my thoughts. There's gonna be some stuff implied so read with caution, i wont say outright but ill talk abt the implications. Sorry most of this is Alan rambling I have brainworms and I'm ill.

-Alan is literally my malewife. Love at first sight, if Noah is my little meanwhore Alan is my malewife. I love their big boobs.

-Pollie>Sally. My heart dropped when Alan tried to ask Sally out like out of all people, Sally? Good news though hes single by the end.

-Pollie is literally that one tumblr post where its like let women be pathetic little meow meows too. She is the definition of a pathetic meow meow and i love her for that.

Hey Alan, Alan, how old were you when this happened. IF YOU WERE LIKE 15 AND IF SHE WAS LIKE YOUR BABYSITTER IM CONCERNED. Its between this and a joke MazM made that his siblings were his secret lovechildren, thing is Alan is 21, his siblings are 7, that is a really dark implication. You can't just say that Alan.

-Yasssss Pollie and Kate are girlfriends, they we're LITERALLY ROOMMATES. OH MY GAH.

-After reading Sallie backstory I feel sorry for her, she can join the Kate polycule.

-M I H I R. mihir. Just mihir. I called him a DILF and my friend was like "hes 25" 👁👄👁. The stress and his monocle made him look older.

-He represents my culture very well! A little fun fact, the sun pin he has is a religious symbol, ironic considering hes a criminal. My friend said its the equivalent of a mafioso boss wearing a cross.

-The fact that he used to write poems but his dad called them shit. The true asian experience, having your parents disapprove of your hobbies.

-I actually love the subvertion of stereotypes and tropes here. I have personally never heard of this stereotype till yesterday but there's one abt Irish people where they are redheaded lazy drunks. Then there's Alan who's such a hard worker and a good boy and and and ehwbhsgrnehehsneghsha. The stereotype that Indians are either stupid or h word. Mihir is none of those things, he's eloquent with his words, witty, and very respectful. The trope of cute dainty maids gets subverted by Pollie and Kate.

-The Kate and Pollie duality. Now I'll be talking abt tropes here but do not take it as my opinion on gender expression, I'm just using things MazM has done b4 + popular media.

Pollie constantly calling herself a lady and dressing in fem clothes, bonus points for the blue. Although she would technically be the more masculine one because she loves to fight and gamble. Her face is also somewhat masculine, similar to Daejin Park in MazM Pechka!

Kate crossdressing and having to live as man would technically make her the more masculine one. But she's also the most feminine one with her soft face and for some reason media associates education with feminine? Idfk brawling is seen as more masc. But mazm rated these hands E for everyone.

-In Alan's introductory tweet he is stated to be a good fighter that holds back. In game the explaination for that is he doesn't want to get injured. I would've thought this was a set up to fighting Alan at one point. I'm a little dissapointed it didnt go that way qwq.

-That scene where Alan starts taking the drugs to stay active and assaults a customer was kinda terrifying. Well it's the scene after they mention that. But his angy face when he talks abt how much hes had to endure for his family, how he sometimes wished they were dead. Only for him to recoil in shock because that wasn't Alan. Hits me in my feelies.

-Mihir says trans rights, he asked his father to address Kate like a man bc she was living as one and he called it stupid. Mihir actually respects her though wjhejehehnehenejej.

-Alan if you keep complaining about my pants I'll shove you in a maid dress. Then youll realize how nice it is not to be constrained by gener.

-If you can't tell from my blog banner, I love older brother characters. The fucking angst but also hehe cute older brother type that cares heehoo im trash.

[pandapupremade]

i bit and did the tumblr year in review. ill put it under a cut shits long

I posted 5,307 times in 2022

That's 860 more posts than 2021!

3,760 posts created (71%)

1,547 posts reblogged (29%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pandapup

@pandapearls

@penisbees

@myscaramouche

I tagged 5,288 of my posts in 2022

#kermit.txt - 3,153 posts

#ask to tag - 1,031 posts

#oc talk - 589 posts

#fave - 417 posts

#srb - 368 posts

#eye contact tw - 365 posts

#negative - 262 posts

#other art - 260 posts

#kermitart - 249 posts

#🐰 maria tag (familial) - 219 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but she's so fun with ryuo and i cannot and will not take away such a dynamic they are in love and they are both in love with me your honor

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

im abt to go to bed but i needed to drop the new story of seasons s/i. their name is bee and they are absolutely bonkers . completely off the walls. and so they are a match made in heaven for daryl <3 she's his assistant

52 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#4

was watching episode 7 and had a realization

72 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

#3

See the full post

114 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#2

im sorry to be harsh but if you make f/o imagines about any serious irl events or tragedies i don't want you to interact with me. i understand people have good intentions but it's horrifying to see someone take devastating things happening to real people right now in real life, and put them into fiction in some cute support way. its not fictional, and should not be treated as such.

if you need a way to cope with what is happening, then this is not how you do it. This is not the right way to cope, nor is it a good way to show your support. there's places to donate to or support to give to people in other ways besides a fictional prompt. It's hard times and I get it - our f/os bring us comfort. But now is not the time for comfort through fictional prompts inspired by the irl situation. Now is the time to focus on the irl people who are affected, or at least to find and create prompts that aren't based on current events.

tl;dr please stop making selfship imagines based on serious, tragic, and or dangerous irl situations, whatever those situations may be. the events aren't fictional, and there is better ways to deal with your feelings and to support others.

138 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i know there's a lot of weight ppl feel to make their self inserts very like gender conforming but in the end I feel, as someone who makes so many s/is who look feminine or use different pronouns despite being trans men or at least masc leaning, that you should just have fun with your designs no matter what. like. I don't like dresses irl, they make me extremely dysphoric and upset...But I love putting them on my s/is, masculine or feminine appearing or even androgynous etc. so i do that. similarly, i only like he/him in real life, but whos gonna stop me from making she/her trans men? nobody. people could try, but fuck those people because its all pretend and is a good way to explore identity. I also have SO much more fun making "feminine" characters than I do masc, and I feel my s/have more life when I don't force a masculine look. but im still a trans man, my s/i is still a trans man, etc. selfship is about being free to explore yourself and also your funky little characters you feel so strongly for, who would accept you no matter what. be free

tl;dr pronouns and clothing and stuff are fake design your s/is how you want and what feels fun and comfortable for you whether or not it appliesto your irl self

139 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[prettyboykatsuki]

Aristotle, this was an older take you mentioned on your blog that I literally completely forgot to ask you about, but I just remembered as I was looking for the ask so here goes: I’d love to hear more about how you link queerness with disagreeing with common fanon characterizations/not being into hard mean dom characterizations because I am queer and fall in the camp of disagreeing with a lot of them and I’d love to hear your thoughts. I’m sorry if this comes off as creepy or out of nowhere, I swear that wasn’t my intention asdfghjkl

i could honest to god write a thesis on this like i think about it so much with a lot of examples in peoples im mutuals with (btw mutuals i may adress u in here if u want me to take u out pls let me know)

cw for fetishization, gender stereotypes, and general discussions of toxic masculinity / gender roles

this is super long because the subject is really nuanced and i could probably go on and on about it. please ask me abt it dsjhfkds

disclaimer! write characters however. this is me just observing stuff. no worries.

in my experience on tumblr and in the general fanfiction writing community - there is a very, very big difference in how specific types of people, specifically queer / openly queer people, interact with characters and characterization on this app. i dont think most people even really notice or know that it happens but it's something i've observed over time.

one of my biggest gripes with fandom and particularly the self-insert community, is how people tend to characterize male characters by divying them up into these two boxes of submissive and dominant.

being brutally honest - i think a lot of the characterizations of many male characters have largely to do with how many of the people in the self-insert community are femme presenting cis women.

and that presentation and gender identity + in addition to sexuality have a lot to do with how men are written in this app. in a way, it's almost a given because if you don't fall into being a cis, femme presenting women, your relationship to things like gender and what role you play in relationships is very very different.

i find this mostly to be in how things how certain characters are written as inherently more submissive vs how certain characters are written as inherently more dominant. i'll use baku but there are several characters i find this to be true.

tanjiro, yuuji, hinata vs inosuke, megumi, and kageyama.

bakugou is a character i get a lot of.. commentary on when i write him to be a submissive person in the relationship and this rlly only happens when i write him in the context of reader-insert. people will openly disagree with the characterization of bakugou that is clingy, submissive, and needy especially when i write it with fem!self-insert

but he's not the only character. any male character that aren't extremely emotional or upbeat get a degree of this treatment. kageyama, sasuke, megumi - i could go on and on.

and i think there in lies the inherent link between how queerness effects your role in a relationship and how that impacts how you see male characters and in what way you see them. how much vulnerability you're willing to write in for them etc.

when you're a queer person - you are very comfortable with the idea that a man can be a vulnerable and submissive kind of person in a relationship because you, yourself, do not have a lot of orthodoxy in your relationships. and your "level" of queerness is especially important because well, if you're a femme presenting bisexual woman who has only ever dated cis men, you've probably got a rather set role in how you perceive men and male characters.

you're probably more likely than a cishet femme woman to be okay with vulnerable and submissive male characters, but it's unlikely that you stray too far from dominant men.

where on the other hand, if you're a masculine cis woman, or a trans man, or a femme presenting lesbian or a masc nonbinary person or really anyone that is openly and outwardly queer - your views of how men can be and how men are a lot more broad almost inherently.

because you yourself do not fit an orthodoxy in relationships. you yourself cannot afford being part of any heteronormativity so your perception of a character is completely.

there's a lot to it - like how people are also comfortable writing someone like deku as submissive but someone like bakugou as dominant.

is it bc maybe you perceive anger and stoicism as dominant masculine traits and you perceive emotion and vulnerability to submissive feminine traits?

just some food for thought about how fandom sometimes accidentally perpetuates heteronormativity.

[marcfrenchie]

Jack wbn and moon knight system for ask meme

Sexuality Headcanon:

jack: gay as hell. he likes men

moon knight: jakes bisexual with a heavy prefrence for men, marcs heterosexual, stevens aromantic and pansexual

Gender Headcanon:

jack: cis :( but his gender is also heacily informed by being a gay autistic man whos also Not Human. puts no effort into outward appearance he has other shit to worry about but tends towards masc presentation

mk: theyre all trans men!! marc, being the one who identifies with the body the most, is the only one who like has a deadname and stuff, but they all call themselves trans. mostly masc presentation-wise but i can see jake doing drag for a halloween costume. that typa guy

A ship I have with said character:

jack: holds jake lockley/jack russell gently i love them,,,

mk: see above but heres a rating of every canon marc spector ship because i dont have anything specific

- marcmarlene: nightmare toxic mess but i do get sad about them sometimes

- marctigra: sweet but tbh more interesting platonically. i am not immune to sun/moon ships

- marcfrenchie: nightmare toxic mess x2 its gay and unrequited and not toxic because theres abuse happening theyre just kinda awful. i am so mentally ill about them. i told you time and time again that i loved you,,,

A BROTP I have with said character:

jack: i like him and elsa bloodstone a lot :) gay people gossiping in the back of the midnight suns meeting. mlm wlw solidarity

mk: theyre besties with wade wilson im right. mentally ill immortal mercenaries :). their friendship is mostly sparring because theyre both violence addicted weirdos

A NOTP I have with said character:

jack: jelsa in a romantic way thats a gay man and a lesbian

mk: ive seen people shipping them with badr and i think those people deserve to die those are siblings!!! it tends to be a shitpost but i have seen people shipping marc and konshu and uhhh He Calls Marc His Son Dude. people who think marcmarlene is healthy

A random headcanon:

jack: allergic to a crap ton of things because of the werewolfisms (pretty much everything a dog cant eat). really into old romanian b-horror. watches far too much x files.

mk: okayyy uhhh. marc still regularly eats mres because hes mentally ill. they have curly hair. they still keep kosher. they have tattoos!! marc got their first one back in his teenage rebellion phase and the collection has grown since then (he knows full well that his dad would scold him for having them (from my understanding tattoos are generally frowned apon in judaism) but the 48 year old man can indulge in some petty rebellion. as a treat)

General Opinion over said character:

jack is my bestest friend and my fun uncle and i want to study moon knight under a microscope and force them to communicate better

[i-did]

hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.

Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go: 

CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia

I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.

So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).

Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.

To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight. 

Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc. 

These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn. 

Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair. 

Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves. 

Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them. 

And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn. 

Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums. 

Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)

“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)

 but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one. 

Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)

I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.

Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation. 

Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so. 

A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.

An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene. 

Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read. 

Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t. 

Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive. 

Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol. 

Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”

This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else. 

When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.

what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing. 

[axemetaphor]

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

[secretsandwriting]

This is what won as well as responses to almost if not all the comments left.

After this I'll make the new one to go over some of the options you guys brought up to refine it.

Ok, so first here are the things that are done and will be in the next one.

Y/n will be a vigilante. (83.3% voted yes)

Enemies forced to work together (76.7% voted yes)

Enemies to lovers (76.7% voted yes)

Dating to stay undercover (53.3% voted yes, 23.3% voted its fake dating, thats always an option)

Fashion (76.7% voted Fashion)

People might die. (36.7% voted just not the batfam and co, 26.7% voted no please let everyone live, and 26.7% voted maybe as long as I don't like them)

Angst response is easier to show then to type out.

So now were on to the three questions where you could type your answers.

Things you don't want.

+ means there different requests I put together

Stalker ex boyfriends + SA and yanderes + Crazy ex + Allusion to s*xual *ssault + dark themes, r@pe, abuse, cheating + S**ic*de. It's a really bad trigger for me. If it ends up in play, trigger warning in advance.

First off, I don't really want to do any of these and I know I've done some of them before so I get why you're bringing it up. I'm actually trying to avoid them more now because its not the best for me to be writing them and all that.

As for the dark themes, its based off DC so I can't promise that not coming up as for trigger warnings, I'm not the best at them but I do try to put them before any part that has things in them so that's a given. But for the most part the only ones of these I see happening is the dark themes and those would mostly be the normal Gotham things.

Pet’s Dying, My pets dying lol

I mean, I figured out a way to help stop that so you don't have to worry about it.

Really gritty violence?

The nice thing about smau is that people don't normally post that type of thing on social media, escpecially if your trying to keep your identity secret. Also I don't like how I write things like that so I try to avoid it. There might be mentions of it happening but I doubt I'll ever go into too much detail on it.

SLOW BURN LIKE NO SIS I CAN'T HANDLE THAT

Well, since undercover dating won there won't be too much to slowburn.

If it is enemies to lovers, please don't make them too antagonistic

No this would be my favorite version of enemies to lovers. They may be enemies but they know that the other isn't actually that bad but they have pride so its really just petty in general.

IF YOU KILL THE MAIN CHARACTER AGAIN IM COMING FOR YOUR KNEECAPS

Jokes on you I took my own knee caps

jason being a whore

I love this but you don't want it which almost makes me sad but ok anon. I'll try not to make Jason a whore.

No kids: just everyone being young and living it up without being too idk domestic?

Ok, idk how to avoid making it too domestic but I'll try.

Anything you do want?

Having to live together. Cohabitation

Easy. I got you anon.

Titus and co as well as Jason bestie + bat cow 💕 + reader may be enemies with dick but reader and damien have a brother-sister bond

These three kinda go hand in hand and I like all of them.

Soulmate au? Secret dating?

Probably not soulmate au and secret dating would have to be a side relationship because Dick and Y/n would be fake dating. So I could do it, but I need another couple to do it with.

Stupidly cute fluff + happiness maybe + Some sweet domestic fluff is always nice :)

Already wanted all of these in it, so you three are thinking on the same wavelength as i am.

SASSY PET RACCOON LIVING HIS BEST LIFE , FAKE DATING where maybe ONE of the batfam still don't believe that they are dating and try everything to prove that they aren't which leads to Dick and reader to try absolutely anything to convince everyone

I love it. Thank you. However the pet raccoon isn't confirmed yet as there were a bunch of other options people put in so I'm going to have that one run again.

john mulaney quotes

THE FACT I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS I TRULY SAD. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME!! THIS WILL DEFINITELY HAPPEN

Flustered Dick, even if lowkey + Dick's ass

I'm combining these simply because together, they give me some great ideas.

y/n having literally EVERYONE wrapped around her finger (maybe one exception idk)

Ok, but really. This is a great idea. Everyone just loving her but one of them sitting in the corner like. "Idk man, something about her isn't right..." Proceeds to sip drink.

CAR CHASE CAR CHASE And maybe slowdancing in the rain

So these were sent in by the same person. I like both! I like both a lot. I just figured out how to do a car chase in smau so its all good!!!!

Soft, moonlit whispers as one of them bleeds deeply + Dicks reaction to love interest being hurt, badly. I always love that. + fluff, and angst (maybe reader getting injured really badly)

I might get in trouble for this, but I do like the ideas... A lot...

More action

I'll try! I've found it a little hard with smau and I'm not the best action writer but I do want to add more action so I'll try to figure out how to do more.

Anything else or is it all covered?

pls for gods sake, for my sake, for your sake, don't kill the pets

Ever since I got this, it was one of the first so its been a little while. I keep wondering if its a threat? But again, pets dying isn't planned. I should have enough to go for plot so that there is no need to kill pets.

A lil bit of CRACK just batfam crack in general oh and maybe BATCOW making an appearance

The only problem with batcow, is pinterest doesn't have many pictures of cows that look like they could be pets because there are rarely people with them so thats why batcow hasn't shown up. Since I have more time to plan this one, I'll look for more options and see if I can find any.

what if, and hear me out, we made it gay🌈? or, at least, masc fem reader?

No, simply because I'm not comfortable writing it as the main relationship/character. I've tried before and I didn't like it in the least and scrapped a week work. So If I tried I doubt I would finish it, if I did, it wouldn't be good because I would probably just give up part way through. So I can definitely do ships and all that that aren't the main but for some reason every time I've tried to do it as a main relationship, I hate it. Sorry!

it would be cool to have more poc or lgbtq rep

I'm actually planning for more poc to happen in the current one. I noticed lack of poc not long ago and confused myself as to why so there will definitely be more representation.

As for lgbtq, I'll try. I was planning on trying to have at least one ship or something because I haven't. But as long as its not the main relationship I can do it so that I'll at least post it.

kiss ily muah

I love you too! muah! I really needed this, thank you!

NO KIDS PLEASE AND THANK U

Ok, No kids and you're welcome.

If there is an instance of fashion, could they help each other get ready, and laugh and joke a lot?

You genius you! Of course I love it!

Nope everything’s perfect! love from yours truly fuzzycloudsz <33 + All covered + All good! + We good + That's all. I love your stuff. + its covered !!!@ cant wait!!! + All good

I'm glad I got everything then! Thank you guys! I'm glad you like my stuff and that your excited for the new one!

[normal-thoughts-official]

Oooh yeah the first time I was playing as a female mc because I wanted to romance ava and I usually go male mc if I want to romance a man and female mc if I want to romance a woman (and I think there was one book with where mc could be non-binary so I picked that one but I didn't finished the book), and Stacy's brother felt Hetero™ in a way, like Hollywood ish (? Honestly like cinematographicly bad hetero) but I ended up really loving Andy too, and Stacy felt a little flat but also I really liked her potential, like go crazy girl, and the mom issues.

Apart but holy shit you're 10000% right about that teacher like who inmediately threatens expulsion just like that for something not violent ??? And to an honor student with way too much on his plate ??? Obviously it would have been bad with any student, but you have literally the reason of why he's doing it and as a teacher HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HELPED WITH IT ??????? Like something teachers can't really help students because it's a family thing only or is a financial struggle or etc but it was literally because of school (and his family, but the teacher could have heloed him with the school part)

(Identity thief anon (also I go by any pronouns ahhshs))

ur valid! that's lowkey what i wish i'd do (picking female MC if my fave LI is female and the other way around, i mean) but unfortunately i always go into the stories blindly having no idea what i'll find </3 so i cant really do that doiajdiosa and then i get attached for the MC i picked so i feel bad about changing their gender/name/appearance when i replay. so what i usually do is that i pick a male MC when i get the option because A- u don't always get the option, so i end up being male half the time and female half the time either way; and B- i feel slightly more comfortable with a male identity than a female one. like i'm still nonbinary and i wouldn't consider myself male aligned or within the gender of Man, but like... when i first came out i went by any pronouns but then because im afab everyone was like "cool, she/her only it is" so i was like fuck that and stopped using she/her. so i feel slightly more comfortable with a masc MC and end up going with that

there's also the fact that it always feels slightly genderfucky to have a male MC because choices is so sexist and also always writes the stories assuming ull pick a female MC, even when they give u the option not to. so when u pick a male MC he's very like not toxically masc and some things they add to make a QuiRkY MC that are very white woman and would feel annoying are actually kind of subversive for my black and brown male MCs. so like another win for queerness /j

ILITW MC in particular i feel has HUGE nonbinary vibes like no reason at all he just does <3 maybe it's just that for once the male clothes for ILITW actually fUCK. i wanna dress in that goth outfit <3 so gorgeous ugh. i love him even tho he's a fucking dumbass

also there's a book where an MC can be enby? worm? ive only ever read one book in choices with any enby characters at all (america's most elligible, books 2-3) but they weren't even a LI which is disappointing cuz they were a billion times superior to any of the LIs. sorry america's most elligible LIs fans

also oh connor IS the epitome of white cistraight man even when u play as a man tbh, like he was just so cistraight to me daouhdsaojdasij he kind of annoys me but also i forget that he even exists until he shows up onscreen and choices starts trying to push me into his lap and i'm just like, ugh, not again

and yeah i think i feel a similar way about stacy. i don't dislike her as a character and i don't feel like she as a character felt flat, her growth was very interesting and i loved seeing her start to challenge her mom like YESSS GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING, she just felt flat as a LI to me ig? like idk i didn't feel chemistry between her and my MC personally, but also like, stacy girls are valid u know

right exactly. like i don't think ppl really understand that a school that doesn't drive people to cry during finals week and feel absolutely crushed by having to be there and that makes ppl feel like they're stupid, not enough, and overwhelmed IS IN FACT POSSIBLE and actually pretty easy to make when we stop treating students like statistics that will get the school more clients/funding (depending on whether it's a private or public school). and like as a teacher getting my degree in brasil it just feels completely surreal to me that anyone would see a student who's so overwhelmed by the amount of extracurriculars and responsibilities he feels like he has to take that he starts taking drugs to help his performance despite it affecting his health, and see that as like... something morally reprehensible? like it is bad that it happened but it's not the student's fault, what's morally reprehensible are the circumstances that led to his decision, not his decision

and like it is very much a systemic problem, more and more kids are taking focus pills to be able to survive the pressure of school and have a shot at a future, either on their own or because we are actually medicalizing not existing to be productive. and if it's a systemic problem then the fault is at the system?? and like holy shit i legit don't understand why choices gave us options like being like "it still isn't enough" when lucas gets rid of his pills, what do you mean it isn't enough??? enough for what??? to FORGIVE him???? for something that only hurt himself??? for something that is very much a systemic problem and therefore NOT HIS FAULT????? literally what the fuck even is this, lucas doesn't have to "make up" for a single thing, he needs to be HELPED is what he needs

like idk i know that the school system in the US is...... extremely backwards lmao which is not a term i like to use because it usually implies imperialistic views but the US is the height of world imperialism so like actually idc. brasil has a pretty progressive constitution and as a teacher my whole education was focused on being critical of the school system, particularly the productivity obsession, and drilling into us again and again that we aren't supposed to just be teaching subjects, we are also supposed to be teaching how to be a citizen, be a critical human being, work towards building a better future, and learning and growing AS A PERSON to be healthy and happy are values of the school system

like that's easier said than done when schools are under insane amounts of pressure by companies in practice to be productivity-driven, and most teachers who actually want to do a good job end up having to live at the edge of the knife and constantly fighting back outside pressure, but at least it is very much a mandatory part of our education to become teachers and also like literally part of the constitution. so i just... i can't fathom reacting the way mr cooper did? like as a teacher i felt BETRAYED, i felt like he shat all over my profession because that is the opposite of what we should be doing, this is a kid who needs help

and just like hOLY SHIT HE DID NOTHING WRONG, what are you punishing him for??? it's not even a like, stealing bread to feed your family situation, because what he did HAS NO VICTIM OTHER THAN HIMSELF, and therefore HE IS THE VICTIM NOT THE CULPRIT. he doesn't have to repent or atone or answer for a single fucking thing, he didn't victimize others, he doesn't have to apologize, there's nothing to punish him fOR??? like i don't believe in punishment anyway cuz im a prison abolitionist but doDAUSDJADASIJDAS???????????? HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY IS THIS WHOLE GAME ACTING AS IF HE WAS IN THE WRONG. OH MY GOD

it's like saying that someone needs to be forgiven for self harming????? like how is it that someone has been hurt continuously until it led them to hurt themselves and then they have to? make up for it to a bunch of other ppl? my god it makes me so mad and i genuinely don't understand the logic, like usually when i see someone doing fucked up shit i can see the logic but i don't agree with it, but this time i genuinely DON'T SEE THE LOGIC. my USan friends said it was because he was technically doing drugs but like i legit still don't understand

anyway any school that drives a student to do something like that needs to rethink their entire curriculum and the psychological effect it's having on kids, because lucas is 1- not even the first one according to mr cooper; 2- even if he was, that'd be the only one who got CAUGHT; and 3- even if there was really only one singular student who went tHIS far, i doubt the others weren't feeling that same pressure and dealing with it in other similarly unhealthy ways

i know that's probably easier in brasil than in the US even if it's by no means easy here because here at least in public schools the curriculum and political-pedagogical plan has to be agreed on by the school community (teachers, parents, students, workers, and anyone who lives in the area of the school) and it's updated every year, so like, you have more means to do something to change the school in a deeper way, altho of course that still has to mean swinging the rest of the community, but still. but at the very least he could have looked for counseling for him? tried to find a way to take some of the workload off his shoulders? given him some more time on assignments? motioning for all the clubs he was the president of to have co-presidents so he was less overwhelmed?

like there was just daodsao he could have done so many things and he justs DIDN'T he chose to not only punish him instead but quite literally THREATEN HIM WITH DEATH because that's what calling the police on a latino student over a drug charge is. like he might've survived but the possibility that he would fucking DIE was very much there, and i know choices didn't think of that because they'd rather die than think about the racial implications of anything but holy fucking shit. and im not even getting into how mr cooper is BLACK because then ill just start biting people like thanks for putting that threat on a black character's mouth choices. if u need me ill be foaming at the mouth

anyway SORRY god why is it that i always get to the salty part within 2 seconds of joining a fandom i promise that i actually like it lives and the way they handled most of their plot, i genuinely think it's a very well written and actually worth ur time story but i just doadosaida like i said particularly as a teacher in the context where i'm being taught, plus with all my political beliefs, i just can't let it go aaaa

also ty for telling me ur pronouns! idk if i assumed them at any time, i don't think so but i might have done so without realizing and if i did im really sorry. also sorry for the gigantic salty reply daojdsaojdaisjsajdoadsaodasj rip me i never shut up

[icarus-showmethemoon]

im bacc nmbcb cxb, for the ''weird asks that say a lot'': 2,5,7,8,14,16,18,19,21,23,30,31,32,36,38,40,42,43,44,45,52,56,62,67,69, 72,84,90,98. i lov these oneS And i guess you noticed

jesus fuck i was almost done and it went back adsghjkfas ok gonna speed run it

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ch o c o la te

5.do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Straight from the can or from a wine glass. Bottles have the weird suction that makes you stop drinking (but on several occasions people have thought i was drinking alcohol even though i was blatantly holding a bottle of coke bc of how i drink it so thats a plus), and unless its a fancy cup its not worth transferring bc it loses the fizzy

7.earbuds or headphones?

headphones!! way comfier and less sound-leakage

8.movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! movies dont give you long enough to grow attached to the characters

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

blue raspberry suckers

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

on the floor, cross-legged. In a chair, with one leg pulled up and folded under the other. I can’t sit either for very long because it kills my knees but its more comfy than any other position oof

18.ideal weather?

snow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

19. sleeping position?

half between side and stomach, top leg bent, the other straight, one arm under pillow and supporting head, the other with the hand loosely covering my mouth and nose

21.obsession from childhood?

I was weirdly obsessed with cats. Like, I read everything I could get my hands on about them. I hated non-fiction books, but if it was about cats suddenly i didnt mind it

that obsession never actually stopped oof

23. strange habits?

I stick my tongue when im concentrating, as i mentioned earlier

ok but another, i guess, is that i always have to have my mouth and tongue occupied, be it by talking to myself, singing, or chewing on some random thing (mostly the wire from my headphones oops) and if i dont have something to do with my mouth i get really anxious and restless and also my brain completely stops lol

30.places that you find sacred?

......no where, im pretty sure. No specific places have much value to me.

31.what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Masc: Leather jacket, combat boots, button up black shirt, camo skinny jeans

Fem: Leather jacket, black dress with a really short skirt and neckline and chest lapels like a black parade jacket, the highest heels i own, dangly jewelry, lots of rings.

32. top five favorite vines?

the one with the piano “SAIL”

uhhh road work ahead? yeah i sure hope it does

What the FUCK is up kyle

yee

CHRIS is that a WEED??

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

fuck, i dont know. probably a grumpy cat one bc my dad showed it to me. or fuckin..... i dunno man i have no concept of time

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade, but i do really like tea

40.weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i havent been to a public school since 4th grade but like

people deadass were 100% convinced i was a vampire or some kind of supernatural being all throughout elementary school lmaooo??? 

another weird thing is that i was the most popular kid in school which like..... hilarious joke lol

42.jacket pockets or pants pockets?

fuckinn jacket pockets!!!!!!!! not as ugly and bulky and they dont weigh your pants down and theyre at a way better height for my arms to comfortably reach in and make sure my stuff is still there!!!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

leather jacket babeyy

i have three (3) leather jackets they are bomb

44.favorite scent for soap?

natural scents: the ocean

perfumes: white musk (specifically body fantasies brand)

soaps: im allergic to most hand soaps other than lemon, but body soaps i like anything with lavender or jasmine

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy, hands down.

52. favorite font?

you know the typewriter one that hipsters get tattoos done in? that one

56. favorite tradition?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dont like traditions except in my witchcraft tbh and those are classed more as rituals than traditions

62. seven characters you relate to?

i dont...........................know..............

Virgil sanders?? thats the only one.

67.good luck charms?

i dont believe in luck lol oof

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

uhhhhhhh

the female black widow spider doesnt actually kill the man after sex all the time. If she’s well fed before, he lives.