#most of it gets drowned out by the music tho
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eru-iru ¡ 2 years ago
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bedman victory screen no bgm and voice volumes
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messylustt ¡ 3 months ago
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 ݁   𓂃 ៸៸៸ deer in headlights — rafe cameron + reader ( obx ) : when trying to help your sad friend at a party leads to an unexpected kiss from rafe.
contents : slight dick!rafe. nsfw intentions (not full on sex tho). slight dubcon (not heavy or roughly forced) tittie licking/sucking. tittie grab. kissing.
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your eyes scanned the party mess. it had only been an hour or so. but more than likely people came drunk way before. most go from party to party, trying to find one that won’t get busted. we’ll see how long this one lasts.
girls yelping, some giggling, most a boy crazy mess. guys hollering, others giggling themselves, nearly twirling their hair at the bent over girls “enjoying” their drinks. you couldn’t help but smile. even though you never found yourself in the centre of it all, you were far from hating the experience.
but that’s when you spotted your friend, scarlet, bolt upstairs, pushing her sleeve down to her fingertips to wipe the mix of tears and mascara from her face. you stood up, tilting past the edge of the couch to reach her.
“scarlet!” you call, trying to quicken your steps. what had happened? she either ignores you or simply can’t hear over the drowning base of the music.
you follow her upstairs. “scarlet?” you call again. and this time she shifts her gaze, her head turning towards you.
“hey..” you smile softly reaching her side. “what’s wrong? why the tears?”
scarlets bottom lip quivers, even if she trying to force it down, while her brows remain furrowed and bent with hurt. she looks as though she wishes to say something, but then she gulps. her expression pales as she rushes into the bathroom, but not before she shuts the door stopping you from entering.
scarlet was always a little complicated. easily embarrassed despite her confidence.
there’s a moment where all you can hear is puking as you try to turn the handle finding that the door is locked. “no. don’t come in.” she says, breathless after a moment.
“scarlet—“ you say in protest, wanting to help. “no! please.” she replies, cutting you off.
you sigh, knowing she hates anyone seeing her puke. “i just wanna help.” you try.
“no I—“ you can hear her hiccuped breathing. “i don’t want him to know…” her tone is almost pitiful.
“who?” you ask standing by the door.
“kelce…”
“kelce?” your brows furrow before thinning out. “is he the boy you kept telling me about?”
she sniffles. “maybe..”
“scarlet…” you say softly “what happened?”
“it was a joke. all of it. ‘sleep with the slut’.” she scoffs. “just because i like boys…a lot of them doesn’t mean i’m some…look liking dick shouldn’t be some god awful issue.”
your brows furrow again, but this time in anger. you hadn’t known kelce that well. only through living on this island, like most. but you had thought he was merely a guy looking to stay ‘cool’ or ‘popular’, not an outright dick.
not like his friend, rafe. rafe cameron. now, if anyone was to easily be called a ‘dick’ it would be him.
“are you sure i can’t come in?” you ask. “please just…” she replies, to which you ease her. “it’s okay. just relax…let me go get you some water.”
you rush back downstairs, squeezing past the out of tuned drunks, and high teens. you head to the kitchen. but as you do, you catch a conversation going on in the hallway.
“i fucked her over man…” the voice, you can identify as kelce’s. “i…why did i do that?”
“hey, calm down. don’t get worked up alright?” the other voice…rafe’s.
“nah man..” kelce sounds stressed, almost on the verge of tears.
“listen to me man. it was a stupid joke. she shouldn’t have taken it to heart, yeah?” rafe’s tone is dismissing towards scarlet, which honestly doesn’t leave you very surprised.
“fuck..” kelce mutters “but now she doesn’t…want me…want anything to do with me most likely.”
“then move on.” rafe replies, speaking as though that concept is a breeze.
“move on…” kelce mutters, repeating slowly.
“yeah, move on. you’re at a party for christs sake. have fun. plenty of girls around.” rafe replies, hitting kelce’s shoulder by the sounds of it.
you peek slightly round the corner to watch them.
kelce sighs rubbing his head roughly.
“go get ‘em man. go on” rafe pats kelce’s back as he slightly pushes him towards the heat of the party. you quickly return behind the doorway as he passes.
you wait a moment before looking back to where they were talking to find rafe staring straight back at you. you pause, blinking. rafe’s head tilts, his expression not one of surprise, as if he had spotted you the moment your head poked out.
“you always eavesdrop?” rafe takes a swig from his beer. you step out, darting your gaze slightly.
“i was just getting some water…for my friend.” you reply as he begins to head over to you.
“yeah?” he hums nodding, as he stops a few step distances from you. “does that water trip include spying?”
“i didn’t catch much.” you reply.
“yeah, how much did you catch, deer?” he asks, his gaze darting over your face and down your body as if he’s trying to place you.
your brows furrow. “didn’t know you were one for…names like that.”
rafe scoffs “i meant ‘deer’ as in a deer caught in headlights, not the other ‘dear’.” he says tapping his beer bottle on your nose, gesturing to your round eyes.
your nose scrunches in response as you lean back, rubbing it. “i’m not ‘caught in headlights.’”
“no?” he replies. “or maybe you’re just starstruck.”
“by you?” you ask raising your brows. “i’m sorry, but you don’t have that ‘wonder’ to you, rafe.”
“a lot of girls think different.” he replies. “you’d look at me with ‘wonder’ if you’ve been seeing stars all night.”
you pause, staring at him, before his words register. “ew, rafe.”
“ouch.” he replies, completely unbothered, taking a swig.
“the majority of people who you make see ‘stars’ are those who have a ‘your-shaped-fist’ indent in their face.” you say edging back into the kitchen, preferring that this conversation ends sooner than later.
rafe scoffs, his face dropping, as he steps after you. “you’re not clever.”
“you seemed affected though.”
“re-size your brain, it ain’t that big”
you raise your hands in innocence, as you turn towards the sink, grabbing a clean empty glass. rafe leans up again the kitchen island, his legs planted in a slight spread.
you glance back at him, wondering why he’s still here.
he watches you.
“look, i’m sorry for eavesdropping. i only cared because…” you pause instinct telling you not to talk about your friend with the likes of rafe. but he clearly already knows.
“oh you got a reason? you’re not just simply…nosy?” rafe gives a fake-surprised look, as you stare blankly at him.
“you’re talking as if you know me.”
“i do know you.” he replies simply.
“no, um…you don’t.” you look confused.
“yeah…i do.”
“maybe we’ve had like…one proper conversation…” you say.
“nah, more than that.” why rafe is saying such simple sentences is a bother to you.
“alright, well…just because we’ve talked a couple times doesn’t mean you ‘know’ me.” you say filling the glass up with water looking back to the sink.
“you think I pay no attention to the people on this island?”
“yeah, sure, briefly. i do the same.” you reply shrugging. “you’re acting as though you know my favourite colour or something.”
“orange.”
you look to rafe, staring at him. “what?”
he crosses his arms, placing his beer to the side. “no, obviously i don’t know your favourite colour. i’m talking about behavioural observations, not stalker material, doll.”
“i thought you weren’t one for names like that.”
“i’m not.” he replies so simply again.
you look back to him seeing that he’s not going to explain any further. “okay…” you mutter moving past him with the glass of water.
“that for kelce’s fuck buddy?” rafe asks staying against the island.
you pause “I’m sorry?”
“what’s her name again?” rafe hums. “sophie?”
“scarlet.” you say with a frown. “and she was never kelce’s fuck buddy. she liked him.”
“yeah, most do like who they fuck.” rafe turns to you.
you narrow your gaze. “your buddy kelce may have thought of it like that, but she never did.”
“hearts break.” rafe states stepping closer “big deal.”
“yeah, it is a big deal. she’s hurt. and fair enough, cause if I got treated like that I’d react the same.”
“would you?” rafe asks. “have you?”
“gotten treated like that? luckily no. but it’s because she puts herself out there way more than me. she’s confident. actually gives it a go.”
“what a star.” rafe mocks.
“you’re all talk, rafe.” you say “because if a girl hurt you like that, I’d think you’d be worse.”
“really?” he looks down at you. “and what happened to not knowing each other that well?”
“you’re a loud bully. i’d have to be deaf not to easily hear about the things you’ve done.”
“you make it sound so dramatic.” rafe scoffs.
“you are rather dramatic.”
“look, doll,” rafe begins leaning down to level with you. “you can nurse sophie back all you want, comfort her, but you’re really not helping.”
“how so? do you have a better idea to help?” you ask raising your brows.
“yeah.” rafe says darting his gaze “enjoy the party. let them deal with it.”
“deal with it? you told kelce to go scout the girls here.” you say.
“yeah, and you actually think he listened to that? kelce is a bleeding heart. sensitive like a fucking kids movie.” rafe states. “no, he’s gone to talk to her. she’s crying in the bathroom right? i guarantee he’s there too.”
“and what makes you think she’d want to see him?”
rafe shrugs. “not our problem.”
“she’s my friend. of course it’s—“
but rafe cuts in, grabbing your shoulders. “not. our. problem.” he states slowly. “you think you rushing in there is going to help? they need to talk. kelce needs to talk.” rafe chuckles. “though if I were him, I wouldn’t bother, find someone new.”
“well thank god she didn’t sleep with you.” you mutter.
“jealous?”
“oh yes.” you nod sarcastically. “wouldn’t want her stealing you away.”
rafe’s lips quirk up. “yeah?”
“you look way too happy that i said that.” you eye him.
rafe grabs his beer off the kitchen island, bringing it between you both. “drink.”
you look at the bottle then back to his face. you shake your head. but rafe just nods, bringing the bottle to your lips. you lift your hand to protest but your glass of water spills a fraction making your hands pause, and giving him enough time to tilt the beer into your mouth.
you’re instinct is to swallow, before you step back, wiping your lips. “ew, rafe.”
“do you find everything disgusting or just when it involves me?” rafe asks taking a sip of his own from the beer bottle.
you meet his gaze staying silent, as he frowns.
“i’m not some troll.” he scoffs.
“could’ve fooled m—“
but rafe cuts in. “don’t finish that.”
you press your lips together, almost smiling, despite yourself.
“don’t smile either.” this time rafe looks disgusted. “you look demented…” he then pauses. “…or pretty, hard to say.”
you scoff “great save.”
“i try.” his lips quirk up again. he looks around a moment before his smile fades, finding a certain spot behind you.
you look behind you also seeing a girl who’s gaze is hardened on you both. you shift your gaze back to rafe but he’s far closer then before. you instinctively lean back.
“don’t be annoying now.” rafe says.
“i’m just moving back.” you reply, not seeing the problem.
“hm.” rafe hums, rolling his eyes. though that action doesn’t seem to be for you, but for the girl staring.
“katie, right?” you say in reference to the girl.
“ew.” rafe replies.
“ew?”
“i thought you were well aquatinted with that word?” he steps closer to you, glaring at the girl. “what a pest.” he mutters.
you look back to katie, who’s gaze hasn’t shaken. “you with her or something?”
“don’t ever say that again.” rafe says harshly. “little bitch doesn’t know when to quit.”
“it must be that ‘wonder’ you possess.” you say shrugging.
rafe looks to you, deadpanned. “funny.”
“i’m just saying. which is why i’m confused that you’re bothered.”
“when I kiss someone, i want to like it.” rafe states blandly. “i didn’t like it, so that’s why she’s not over here and instead over there.”
you stare at him. “okay. then have you talked with her about that?”
“uh huh.” rafe says. “in one ear and out the other.”
rafe then focuses fully on you, an idea almost displayed in his eyes. you look back at him confused, your eyes darting a little nervously at the intensity of his sudden attention.
“are you a good kisser?”
rafe’s question makes you pause, even more confused, your eyes widening a fraction. “what?”
“c’mere.” he murmurs, his finger curling into one of your jean loops at your hips.
“wow, wow—“ you rush out placing your hands on his chest as he tugs you closer.
“look convincing.” he hums tilting your chin up. his lips reach yours, stepping against you.
your eyes flutter shut at the closeness. his mouth moves against yours, finding your bottom lip as his tongue drags. the suddenness of it all makes your head spin.
rafe begins to smile against your mouth, either at katie’s reaction, or potentially yours. his tongue doesn’t let up as it slides between your lips, reaching your own. his hand grabs your glass placing it aside before he reaches for your hair sliding his fingers between the strands.
your lips feel wet now, swollen, as you clench at his shirt to breath. he lets up leaning back a fraction. you’re blinking, licking your own lips in shock. you knew they were now red.
“what…what was that?” you whisper. you pause then glance back to katie who’s gaze is like thunder but she finally looks away, heading outside to the busy pool. “oh...” you say. “to make her jealous? really?”
“no, to make her leave.” rafe replies, his tone almost distant, as his gaze is stuck on your mouth. he then leans down and kisses you again, stopping your tongue from dragging along your lip repeatedly. he was far too eager this time around.
and this time you step back.
rafe nearly follows your lips.
“rafe…she’s gone, you can stop now.” you mutter fixing your hair.
rafe then murmurs. “didn’t I say if i don’t like it leave?”
“which is rather rude when you’re actually kissing a girl.” you reply, a little flustered, as you reach for the glass.
rafe slides it away. “you kissed back.”
“i was surprised.” you say.
“glad you have that instinct then.” rafe muses. to which you turn away aiming to leave the kitchen.
but rafe steps after you. “what, going back to sophie?”
“scarlet.” you say. “and yes. I’ve left her for too long.”
rafe blocks your exist. “you don’t like me, i get that. but if you want to help your friend, let them talk. and in the mean time, enjoy yourself.”
“so you’re suggesting I go outside then? maybe to the pool.” you say, as he shakes his head.
“no idiot. here. with me.”
“now that’s the kind of name i thought you’d prefer saying.” you reply. “and…no…thank you.” you say trying to move past him.
“you’re a good kisser.”
“how sweet. move please” you say.
“my god, you really hate me, huh?” he chuckles
“i dont know you enough enough to hate you.” you say “but i do dislike you…so….close.”
“at least I’m not at the far end of the spectrum.” rafe hums, getting closer and fiddling with the end of your shirt.
“you’re close.” you say trying to move his hand away.
“but not there.”
“rafe, what do you want?” you sigh, looking up at him.
“i wanna see if you look more like a ‘deer’ when my hand is actually doing something.” he murmurs for your ears only.
“I’m sorry?” i stare at him, surprised as if he hadn’t just randomly kissed you before.
“relax.” rafe murmurs, pressing against you. “ease up, baby.”
all you manage to do is stare as your body registers the feel of his.
“yeah…” he hums, tugging at your hair slightly. “like that.”
“rafe…” you say, still confused by his actions.
“come on,” he chuckles lowly. “it’s a party. don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it?”
“i do, it’s just—“
but he cuts you off, his breath hitting your cheek. “then left your shirt up, lemme see…”
your stomach fills with butterflies, your eyes darting over his face.
“listen, I’m bored.” rafe says his lips now pressed to your ear, his hand squeezing your waist. “and…i liked the kiss. so I’m thinking I’ll like the rest of you.”
“you’re—you’re just overly horny.” you say.
“and who’s fault is that?”
“hey, you were the one who kissed me.” you say.
he smiled as his hand sunk under your shirt to your stomach.
“rafe—“
“shh.” he hushed, looking down at your shirt and his hand underneath. he lifted the material. you move to grab the shirt, embarrassed at the exposure.
“please, doll, just a quick look.” he says. “none of this has to mean a thing, i promise.” his hand grips your shirt.
and strangely, as he tugs you to a darker corner of the kitchen, his hands lifting your shirt to reveal your bra, and the hum that follows, makes you wonder if he really means that promise.
because as soon as his finger traces the cup before slipping inside, and brushing right over your nipple, the look in his eyes changes.
you can’t pinpoint what it changes to, but his following action, with the grip in your hair is clearly a new promise.
if he doesn’t like it he leaves.
but what happens when he does like it?
he grins nearly cooing at your concentrated face. “don’t think too hard.” he hums as he rubs your nipple and breast making your breathing hitch. “keep that head small for me, doll. you’re a very pretty deer when caught in headlights.”
“you just like me dumb.” you say, understanding his words.
his grin merely grows, as he pushes your bra cup aside completely holding and grabbing your breast. “well, when you’re smart you’d push me away.”
you nod, as he nods too, chuckling. he then forces you to arch against him, as he leans down, keeping eye contact.
he swirls his finger around your nipple. “should I turn this red too?”
the moment his tongue reaches your nipple, tingles run up your spine. and as he begins to suck, the tease in his voice leaves him as he murmurs a simple “fuck.”
your stomach churns, as he nods, almost answering himself with a name he claims to dislike. “yeah…baby, don’t move”
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meteor752 ¡ 3 months ago
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Epic the musical side story where Hades and Persephone get really invested in the story during The underworld saga, sorta small talk about the strange man for the next couple of years, and then freak the fuck out in the audience during god games when they find out not only is the guy still alive, he’s managed to piss off like half the pantheon
Just
“Hey babe?”
“Yeah Perse?”
“There’s like, a bunch of mortals here”
“Mortals? What, how?”
“Idk, they’re like, on some ship”
“Huh. Should I call Thanatos, have him take care of it, or should we just wait it out”
“Call Thanatos, best to rid the garden of any pests before they manage to kill your flowers”
“Pfft, alright. I’ll be right back”
“Okay- wait. A bunch of the dead are singing to him”
“What?”
“Yeah like a bunch. Who are they?”
“Uhh, most of them drowned, a few killed by a cyclops. One broke his neck?”
“They’re singing about a cyclops, about how he let one live or something”
“Probably one of Poseidons. Should I still call Thanatos?”
“No wait, I wanna see where this goes.”
“Alright.”
“An infant, what infant?”
“Maybe the cyclops?”
“OH NEW GUY! He seems important!”
“Also a cyclops victim. They seem close, what do you think friend or lover?”
“They’re Greek, it’s probably both”
“I don’t know how he managed it, but this guy brought down like, the entire vibe of the entire underworld. That shouldn’t be possible”
“Yeah. Oh who’s this lady now?”
“Suicide by drowning. Not sure. Maybe a relative”
“Yeah may-THATS HIS MOM”
“OH MY GODS. OH HE DIDNT KNOW OH LORD”
“Hooooooly fuck, what a way to find out”
““Here in the underworld the past is always close behind”. Think we should make that a slogan?”
“Then we’d have to credit him and stuff tho”
“Yeahhhh. Well, seems like this guy is sticking around for a few hours. Should I grab some popcorn?”
“Yeah I’ll grab the fainting couches”
~~~
“Okay what’s happening now?”
“He just stated speaking to Tiresias”
“Tiresias? He went all the way to the underworld to speak with a prophet?”
“Well he is quite good”
“Wait did Tiresias just reject him?”
“I think so? Oh wait predictions”
“Past romance, sacrifice, betrayal, and some final battle? Who the fuck is this guy?”
“Dunno, but he’s not going home that’s for sure”
“Palace? He must be a king of some kind then”
“Do we know the names of any mortal kings”
“Nope, so that didn’t help at-wait his wife is doing what”
“Ohhh, that must be rough, hearing it from a prophet”
“Okay this chanting is getting intense. I think I heard the word Scylla”
“I heard lightning bolt”
“That doesn’t bode well”
~~~
“He’s just, sitting there”
“Is he done? Should we-oh. No okay new song, let’s see what’s going on”
“Man this guy has it rough. Should we like, do something?”
“I mean, I’m not really the “bless the mortals” type of god. I mean I let a guy borrow my helm once, and I haven’t seen it since. I should probably check up on that actually”
“Yeahhh. They killed a friend of the cyclops?”
“That explains all the cyclops victims”
““Witch turn men to pigs”, you think that’s Circe?”
“Sounds like he-WHAT WAS THAT THIRD ONE”
“You don’t think-?”
““God comes down and makes a fleet drown”, I am most definitely sure!”
“Damn. Wait wooden horse? Oh, I know who this guy is!”
“Really?”
“Yeah he’s one of Athenas warriors! Ody something. Odyssen? Odyssa? Whatever, I remember the horse thing was a big deal when it happened, Ares was pissed, Hermes spread the word to all of mount Olympus”
“One of Athenas eh? Interesting. Oh yeah, the god was definitely Poseidon”
“How are you sure?”
“That line he just sung, “Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves”, Posy is always fucking saying that crap”
“500 men? Damn”
“Penelope, presumably the wife. Don’t know about the other guy tho”
“Either a son, brother, or lover. Or maybe just a friend I dunno”
“Another infant? What the fuck is wrong with this guy, pulling a fucking Hera”
“Gotta appreciate the determination of him”
“Yeah, but I think we’ll see him here again soon. If he’s pissed of Poseidon, and soon to be Zeus if Tiresias is to be believed, I don’t think he’ll get much further when he gets out of here”
“So we are letting him go”
“Yeah. Partly because I want to see what happens next. When he gets here we’ll ask him to tell the full story, from beginning to end”
“Alrighty then”
~~~
“I swear if I get dragged out of the underworld for one of Zeus’ little games one more time this year I might actually start a war”
“Mum keeps staring at me…fuck she’s probably gonna try and talk after this, fuck meeeeee”
“We can escape in the middle of it, no one will know”
“Oh she’ll know. Do you know what this is about like, at all?”
“No, but I think Hermes might launch into the fourth dimension if he keeps vibrating like that in his seat”
“Yeesh”
“Hmm, odd. I don’t see Posy anywhere”
“Maybe he’s competing?”
“Nah, he always declines when Zeus asks, he hates it”
“Why were you not invited?”
“Dunno, probably has nothing to do with me”
“Oh it’s starting, it’s starting”
“Athena’s challenging eh? Interesting”
“Would love to know what any of this is about”
“Mortal lover? Demi-god child? Those are the usual subject”
“Yeah but that’s not Athenas thing. Probably something to do with one of her “warriors” or whatever”
“Apollo, of course. Always has to be apart of these things”
“The drama queen”
“Truly”
“Hephasteus and Aphrodite? That’s a little awkward”
“Weird lineup so far- fucking Ares? Yeah shes not winning this one, sibling spite is stronger than any argument she can give”
“Why would all three of them be included. I can feel the tension from here. I’m uncomfortable”
“And Hera? Yeah no she’s loosing for sure, Hera like not care less about any mortal, unless they’ve offended her”
“She might be convinced, just to spite Zeus?”
“That just sounds unhealthy on so many levels”
“Alright let’s see what this is about”
“Hold up, Ody?”
“Oh my gods. You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Well he was one of her warriors. Was he not?”
“I can’t believe he’s still trying to get home. It’s been like ten years, how the fuck”
“Well, if he pissed off Poseidon then he probably has something to do with it, the pissy bastard”
“Killed sirens. Why would you do that, so unnecessary”
“Sacrifice??? What the fuck is this man up to????”
“Didn’t we have a few Scylla sacrifices a few years back. Think that was him?”
“Holy shit we did. Yeah, Posy stays away from Scylla to the best of his ability, travelling in her domain to avoid him is not a bad idea”
“‘Phro is mad that his mum died? Girl you are grasping at straws, even more than the previous two”
“Hold up, why the fuck was I not invited?! He traveled through my domain, disturbed my souls, he even woke up Cerberus with his monster wailing, I should be apart of this!”
“I mean it’s a bit weak”
“I have more grounds to be down there than fucking Apollo. Like sirens? Come on man”
“Oh ‘Phro refused huh? Only got two, that’s kinda weak coming from Athena, she usually gets at least four”
“Is that cheating? Her quick thought thing. That cheating?”
“Are there any actual rules?”
“Just, try to win, I guess”
“Oh Ares turn. Wait she lost Aphrodite, this should be over”
“I think this is more of a personal thing. Like I said, sibling spite”
“Oh yeah, Scylla! Fuck this guy is getting around”
“Oh damn, that pissed her off”
“Guessing that the guy other that Penelope, Telemewhatever was his child then”
“Oh wait they yielded?? Huh, never thought that would happen”
“And, Heras turn”
“Yeah like I said she does not give a fuck. But it was a good run”
“Yeah, keeping her four out of five streak”
“Wait what the fuck was that”
“She- she actually yielded?”
“And for not cheating! Man I love this guy, I can’t wait for him to die”
“Only you babe. Wait holy fuck she won?”
“Oh Zeus won’t like- oh, just like I said. He’s pissed”
“Is he gonna kill her?”
“If he does I’ll just resurrect her probably. She deserves a better end, even if she is annoying”
“Well, should we go then?”
“Yeah I have some paperwork to- do I hear boss music?”
“OH SHES STILL ALIVE!!”
“She took a lightning bolt to the face and lived, holy fuck. Gotta respect it”
“I think, she’s actually convincing him? Never thought I’d see the day”
“Well, she’s his favourite child. I think if Ares tried something similar he’d just get struck by another lightning bolt”
“Well, that was fun. When I come back up for spring I’ll have to check with Hermes more about the details of what’s live, actually going on with this Ody dude”
“Yeah. Wanna stop for applebees before we head on down?”
“Yeah, but let’s go now cause mum is heading like right for me and I don’t wanna deal with that until another few months”
This was dumb lol
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frankoceanfanpage ¡ 8 months ago
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"my honeybee, come and get this pollen!"
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synopsis : hc's of leo valdez and his gf !!
pairing : leo valdez x daughter of apollo!reader
warnings : swearing / cursing, intentional lower case writing, kissing, nothing crazy tho!
requested ? yes! by the amazing @sunnitheapollokid 😚
masterlist : coming soon!
nai yapps : HI BABIES 🤭 first time writing hcs, hope ya like!! it turned out longer than expected so yeah haha, not proofread so please don't mind the grammatical errors 😭
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on the radio . . . "espresso" by sabrina carpenter
in my opinion, leo is kinda insecure (just like percy) so it took him a while to realize that you liked him back !!
in the meanwhile, he would fangirl about you to his friends
oh and trust me, they were SICK AND TIRED of that boy
"guys, did you see the way she looked at me at dinner??"
(which he told them like for the 1293858th time that week)
#delusionalking
and don't act like you didn't do the same thing as well, because we all know damn well you did
yapping about leo to annabeth, silena and piper at the cabin 10 sleepovers is a weekly (almost daily) occurrence
like i've mentioned in the beginning, leo's probably really insecure, so he uses his flirty and cheeky personality to cover it up!
which has you giggling and kicking your feet
because that boy flirts with you more than anyone else
oh and when he found out that you work at the infirmary with will solace?
it was his most visited place other than bunker 9
leo is naturally a really clumy person (me too lmao) so he injures himself on accident quite often when working on something in bunker 9, but one way or another he'll find an excuse to come visit you there (even if he's not hurt) and say shit like
"you come here often?" or "can you kiss it better?"
with a shit-eating grin as you heal one of his injuries
since you're a child of the music god, you have AMAZING taste in music
so every once in a while you'd come over at bunker 9 and play some of your music while leo works on his projects
you'd be on his bed, painting away or even working on poems
speaking of poems!
you once wrote a poem about leo and after building up courage (with the help of your girlfriends) you read it out to leo!!
and let me tell you, that boy turned as red as a tomato
and he couldn't stop thinking about that poem FOR DAYS.
like girl you had that boy wrapped around your finger 😭 (hence the song i choose for this blog)
after that, he decided it's time to ask you to be his gf!! (screaming)
him and his friends (percy, jason and frank) have been planning and scheming on the best way leo can ask you out
since percy has a big mouth, he told the news to his girlfriend, annabeth.
your and leo's friends were pretty much one big friend group, so you guys hung out quite often
soon enough, piper and silena found out about leo's plan too
SOO HERE'S HOW I IMAGINE HOW'D LEO WOULD ASK YOU TO BE HIS GF!!
basically, the group decided to hang out at the beach is Montauk
"LAST ONE IN THE SEA IS A ROTTEN EGG!"
percy yelled, all the boys racing to the sea, except for leo.
"boys." annabeth muttered, rolling her eyes, causing piper, silena and you to giggle.
you had your beach towel spread out onto the sand, your tote bag to your left and a book in your hands.
leo sat at your right hand side, applying sunscreen onto his arms and upper body as he watched the boys splash and attempt to drown each other.
"could you please apply sunscreen on my back, y/n?"
you look up from your book you're reading and place your bookmark between the pages. a smile grew on your face as you nod, signaling leo to turn so his back faces you. he obliged and did as you said, he pulled his knees closer to his chest leaned his head onto his arms. (kinda like this I'm bad at explaining haha 😭)
hours pass by, the group has all been at the sea having a splash fight, then also played volleyball. now they wanted to have some snacks and drinks
and of course the group decided to pick you and leo to go get the snacks
you, oblivious to their intentions, started putting your flip flops on. as you weren't looking, leo shot a look at the smirking teenagers he calls his friends. piper and frank were showing thumbs up for support. while jason and percy gave him a knowing look. leo saw annabeth mouthing "now or never" to him.
"lee, you ready to go?"
he put his attention back on to you and nodded, heading to the corner shop with you next to him. he glanced back to his friends one last time, seeing them look at the pair walking off and cheering for leo, but silently of course, so you wouldn't suspect anything.
after you two have bought the snacks and drinks the friendgroup wanted, you head back to the beach.
leo noticed the group playing volleyball again, and used to opportunity to confess now. He stopped walking, standing at this area.
"hey, y/n. could we talk for a sec?"
you didn't think much of it and nodded, walking closer to where leo was standing.
then, his nervousness got the best of him and that boy just started rambling.
"so i just wanted to say that Iive liked you for REALLY long time. like a i like you A LOT and I really want to be together with you but i'm not sure if you feel the same and i really don't want to ruin this friendship. but i've never felt this way about anyone and–"
then he got interrupted with kiss!! (by you of course)
he froze, definitely not expecting that. but quickly kissed you back. his hands on your waist, pulling you closer as your hands wrapped behind his neck.
you soon pulled away, both of you catching your breaths.
"i like you too, leo."
a bright smile appeared on leo's face, him leaning his forehead onto yours.
"can i be your boyfriend, y/n?"
you act like you're thinking about, rubbing your chin jokingly, but ultimately day yes.
he kisses you again, but pulled away quickly as you two heard screaming and cheering from the back.
the pair turn around to see their friendgroup being the cause of this loud noise.
piper, annabeth and silena were the ones screaming, holding each other's hands as they jump up and down like little girls. While the boys were cheering and clapping, Percy even started jumping up and down with the girls. (LMFOAOA DON'T TELL ME HE WOULDN'T DO THAT)
anyhow! that's how i imagine it'd happen
leo and you are both you clingy mfs, even before dating. but now you two are glued to the hip.
he definitely calls you cute nicknames in spanish (#latinoking)
"mi amor" , "cariĂąo" , "mi vida" , "hermosa" , "mi corazĂłn" , "mi sol", "mami/mamas"
he loves, and i mean LOVES when you help him with his projects (cough this fic cough)
whenever a piece of your jewelry (earrings, necklaces, ect..) breaks, you already know your boyfriend is there to fix it for you.
despite being the daughter of the sun god, your hands were always FREEZING. that's why you had your fire boy to warm you up
that boy is basically your human heater. while you two would cuddle in the summer, you would get so hot while being in his embrace, but you just suffered, because his grip is strong as steel.
your guys' dynamic is sunshine x sunshine protecter!! (the protecter being you because leo doesn't do shit to stand up for himself)
#1 princess treatment giver!!
"baby, i can get out of the car myself–"
"shh, don't worry about it mami."
wow this is getting way too long woopsie
in conclusion, leo valdez is the best boyfriend ever and you two are the power couple of chb!!!
THE END!!
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— 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐍𝐀𝐈.
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taglist (pls tell me if I should remove / add you!!) : @thesnshinee @graceslcver @gentlehue @ssparksflyy @coolestgirlintheworld112 @ghostlyloversworld @percyslcver @lovely-calypso @woodlandwrites @brainsofseaweed @mershellscape @hopelesslyromanticshark @canonfeminine
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fruitmins ¡ 3 months ago
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FRI(END)S | taehyung
➭ summary: in which Taehyung has some big shoes to fill after his hyungs went to the military. The stress of it all and utter loneliness causes him to make some grave mistakes. Like paying a girl to be his friend. But after months, he starts to feel something more. He doesn’t know if he’s just over pretending because she’s obviously just doing her job.. or if something more is there. And after a rough night, he finds out.
➭genre: short oneshot, slowburn-ish, angst, friends au
➭warnings: unedited properly, talk about depression, a couple bad words, he can kinda be seen as creepy but he’s just awkward i swear
➭note: i actually like this. chat i like writing, i wish i could do it more. Agust Dad is in the works tho..
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Taehyung knew the members entering the military would affect him.
Sure they had moved out of the dorm and stopped living together ages ago, but he was saddened to see his hyungs go after being in contact for almost decades. They had watched him grow up and helped him through the complications of being an idol.
And now that he was making music and doing it all on his own? He felt the effects of their absence hardened.
He tried staying close to the other maknae’s but they were doing their own preparations for their solos and didn’t want to be a burden. He tried smoking but it would only stir up trouble and was too risky. He tried going onto Korean tv shows but it only felt like more work.
It started to get worse the more he worked on his music and the longer his hyungs were away. He’d stay day and night at the studio, working tirelessly on his album. And when he did venture to his apartment suite, it was cold and empty. The Bangtan group chat dry.
Alone.
He hated the feelings of being alone. After 2020, the tour being cancelled and not being able to see his new fans, being forced to stay inside. He had his members at the time, making English songs that blew up. But he wasn’t happy. He was alone.
And whenever he walked in the door of his apartment after a long day or night, he felt the same feeling. Dread, hopelessness. Empty. And then, the military would come and sweep him away as well.
He didn’t want to feel like that. Didn’t want to spend the time he had before the military being things changed for good, feeling like that. He wouldn’t put out good music for his fans and he wouldn’t do good for himself mentally and physically. He needed something, anything to give him comfort. He couldn’t go down that rabbit hole he once been in.
Sugar.
Your brain's reward system is activated, which releases dopamine, a chemical that signals pleasure.
In this case, Sugar, is a sweet caring friend. A paid friend. Ironic to the fake name she gave Jimin, she was a sugar baby. You are sugar, in every meaning of the word.
He felt weird at first, when Jimin gave him Sugar’s number when he reluctantly told his hyung how he felt one night while drinking together. But after texting for weeks and a shiny NDA contract, Sugar was his temporary paid companion.
They’d text regularly, and when he was feeling his most depressed he’d pay her to come to his house before he got there. They didn’t have to talk, she just had to be there so he didn’t feel like he was drowning in his pity and loneliness. So he felt like people still cared.
As much as he hated it, it was working. The text turned into meet ups at his house. The chilling turned into cuddling. And hell, he felt good waking up in the mornings. Music felt less like work. Life felt like, life.
But working on music, and releasing it were two different battles. And doing it with a group, and being solo, were two different battles.
Taehyung put on a smile as he went backstage, the chilling sound of his fans feeling his ears as his earpiece now silent as his sound ended. It had been a while since he preformed at a Mcountdown, and he had forgotten how many strangers there were backstage as they started profusely congratulating him.
He put on a shy smile as people started handing him a small fan and wiping off his sweat. Before anyone else could crowd him, he grabbed his phone and excused himself to the bathroom.
He could feel his hands shaking, the pressure of being on stage by himself bringing back that some feeling of loneliness. He had forgotten about it because of the fans, but being backstage was much more awkward. He remembered how he used to cool down backstage with his members.
He missed them, dearly.
His fingers shook as he pressed against his phone screen, going to his messages and clicking the top person. He knew it was Sugar, he had only talked to her recently. He asked her to come over, and even sent the money in advance while also tripling the amount. He was vulnerable, and scared. He needed his fix. He needed comfort.
When he was finally able to escape the stage and was able to home later that night, he half expected for Sugar not to be there. The day had been so draining he had completely forgotten.
His eyes widened when he saw her in his apartment, lying on the couch all comfy. Her breathing soft and her hair in front of her face as she slept.
He quietly sat down his things and took off his shoes and socks. He had already changed out of his performance outfit and was in a baggy hoodie and jeans. He walked over to Sugar, brushing her hair out of her face and even that calmed him down from all of the chaos in his mind.
She had looked so comfortable in his space while she slept. So peaceful. Like she belonged there. He hadn’t realized how attached he had gotten to her until that moment. Her beautiful soft skin and playful hair. Her kind natural beauty and caring nature. It has been a while since he met a girl as innocent and sweet as her and the comfort she brought didn’t make it better.
He blinked out of his trance when he saw her blink, as if sensing his everlasting gaze. Her eyelashes fluttered as she slowly opened her eyes, Taehyung smiling when he saw the familiar pearls.
“Oh, you’re back.” She said she yawned and sat up slightly. “How was filming the.. song?” She asked, sounding so unsure and confused in her half awakened mind.
He chuckled, being aware for some time now that she knew nothing about the idol life or even listened to his music, and it was slightly refreshing.
“It was good, Sugar.” He said, his voice tried and raspy from singing and talking all day. The word coming out as more than a pet name more than it being the name she actually went by.
He picked her up, hands gripping her waist tightly as he easily held her up so he could sit on the couch and set her on his lap. His large hands, so soft and masculine, gripped her thighs tightly, situating them around his hips.
His body relaxed and his eyes closed slightly as he felt her soft figure against his chest as she wrapped her arms around her neck, playing with the back of his hair.
“Thank you.” He said breathlessly, eyes still closed as he relaxed and let himself feel her soothing touch. “You’re too good for me.”
”Are you okay?”
He didn’t except to hear her voice, considering she just woke up and that speaking to him wasn’t mandatory or anything. Her voice was as soft as ever, extra quiet from the sleepiness.
Fuck, he was getting attached. He was being too vulnerable, it was getting too intimate. To real.
She was paid to do this. To act caring and sweet so he could keep coming back and she could keep getting money. But God, it felt real now. Much more real than the first few months.
He tensed for a minute, his heart telling him to spill out everything but his brain winning, like most days. “I’m fine, Sugar.” He assured, his hand moving to her hair, gently stroking it. There was a moment where he considered actually telling her about his day, but the thought of it made his chest tighten. He didn't want to burden her with his problems, wanting her to stay shielded to the harsh reality of his life and riches.
"It's just been a long day, and I'm not used to things being this way." He admitted, his voice a bit more strained than normal. It was silent for a minute before he spoke again, not knowing why. “Thank you, for being here.”
“I’ll always be here for you..” she replied softly, looking up at him as she laid her head on his shoulder. “It’s nice here.”
He smirked, a small genuine smile played on his lips before letting out a chuckle. “Is it?” His eyes flickered away from her and to the idle big tv screen.
“I was watching you.” Her voice came through as he looked down at her once more. “Your music video, I mean.” She corrected herself with an awkward chuckle.
“Oh.” Taehyung didn’t know how to feel about it. Of course he was proud of his music, but slightly nervous for her opinion. “What’d you think?”
“It was.. beautiful.” She said, her eyes sparkling as their eyes met. “It was slow and sentimental..” his face reddened as she continued, the words making him antsy.
“I loved it. And you looked all dolled up and cute.” She giggled as she thought back on it. “I’ve never seen you like that.”
“What you look at me differently now? You see me as the big popstar like else everyone does?” He said, trying to play it off as a joke even though he was actually wondering.
“No.. still just Taehyung. My friend.” She said with a smile and his chest tightened slightly as reality set in.
No matter how many nights they’d spent on the phone, no matter how many ranted texts he sent.. No matter how many late nights and cuddles. They were friends, paid friends at that.
He was delusional for thinking it wasn’t anything else other than a girl taking care of her client in order for him to keep coming back later and get more money. Even knowing this—
“You wanna.. stay the night?” I’ll pay you extra.
He wants to say, but maybe if he didn’t bring it up she’d forget that that’s what she was there for. For money, not him..
“Sure!” She said excitedly, making his heart flutter. He hadn’t felt this way in a while. Relaxed and comfortable with someone outside of his group.
She giggled when she saw his almost shocked reaction. “I told you it’s nice here.”
He chuckled, shaking his head at her. “Eh, I’m used to being here.” He gestured to his nice apartment penthouse with the view of the city. Expense brands to cook with and soft nice couches and clothes. He didn’t know why he was trying to act so cool with his grand house when she’d already seen him at his most vulnerable.
He knew from the first few instances that she couldn’t have come from a rich family, judging by her reactions and lack of knowledge with certain gadgets and such. Just looking at the things she did for money, he figured she hadn’t come from the best of the bunch.
“I mean, I already fell asleep on the couch so I might as well sleep there.” She said with a chuckle.
“You don’t want to go to the bedroom with me?”
The words fly out of his mouth before he could even stop himself and he’s surprised by himself. Surprised that he keeps trying to push his luck with this girl. God, he’d given all the hints but couldn’t take one himself.
“I—“ she paused with a nervous chuckle. “Oh wow.” In an effort to get rid of the sudden tension that came over, and to not feel like a creep, he quickly spoke. “I mean— we cuddle anyways. Why not just cuddle each other to sleep. That would help me, don’t you think?”
He felt like an asshole just saying it, but as a miracle would have it, she started to contemplate before shrugging. “Sure, okay!” She said with a small smile.
“Y-You don’t have to! It was a stupid thing to say—“ Taehyung quickly said, sweating as he tried to make it all go away.
“No, no! It’s fine.” She said quickly, the two looking like two teenagers. “I think it’d be good for me too.” She stated and Taehyung softened.
Taehyung turned off all of the lights, taking her hand gently in his as he lead her to his bedroom, a place she’d never been before. There were posters of the group and artwork on the walls. Glimpses of his hobbies scattered around the room.
He took off his hoodie, revealing a plain white shirt underneath before he crawled onto his king sized bed. The quality of it, like everything else he owned, pleasant. She hummed when she laid down next to him, sinking into the mattress as she closed her eyes.
She took a minute to relax before turning on her side and looking at him, who was already staring at her while on his side. The two faced each other, heads on soft pillows with the lights dimmed. “You’re different today..” she muttered her observation softly.
“I know.. that’s why I sent you triple.” He said with a soft chuckle, he knew he would be more clingy, more of a pain. He hoped she was okay with it. That maybe it would become a regular for the two.
“I don’t mind it, Tae-Tae.. It’s peaceful with you.” She said with a soft smile while stroking his hair as Taehyung let out a breath of relief. He had felt the same, at peace. Maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way he did about each other.
He wrapped his arms around her small waist and pulled her closer to him and his heart raced as he took in her features, copying every detail into his brain. She was so beautiful, inside and out. His eyes traced over her face, before landing on her lips. So pretty and pink.
He couldn’t stop himself. He had convinced himself that he would rather try to see if something was there than sit months worrying and dreaming about could have been. So he leaned in closer to her as he licked his lips, and gently pressed his lips onto hers in a soft kiss.
She smiled against it immediately before responding, pushing herself flush against his chest as he tilted his head slightly to deepen the kiss. His hand went to her back, gripping it tightly as he held onto her like his life depended on it.
He pulled away after a while, breathless and his heart souring. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while..” he whispered, nuzzling his nose against her face.
“Me too..” she squeaked out, swallowing as she closed her eyes and kissed him again. His eyes closed as he relaxed into the affection, his feelings deep as they drifted off to sleep on each other’s arms.
~~
To his horror, Taehyung woke up alone the next morning. He could smell her candied, sugary scent but she wasn’t there. He could feel her sweet sugary lips still on his from the hours before. But she wasn’t there.
He sat up quickly, looking around and fearing the worst. What if she got lost in the complex? Or some crazy fan took her?
He raced to get his phone to do something, to figure something out. Only to be greeted with a notification that was received an hour ago.
Let’s stay friends. Just for now :)
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chocsra ¡ 1 year ago
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general chuuya hcs bc hes bbg
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he has long ass natural eyelashes and gets insecure cus of it (since he feels uncomfy bc of his height and feminine proportions), so he tried to rip them off once but koyo stopped him
i think its canon but genuinely practices in the mirror for anything and EVERYTHING AND ITS SO FUNNY
his smirk is 50/50, its either really attractive or really cringe (isa joke)
wears robes at home
hes awkward w kids
when he watches movies he overexaggerates everything and is extremely overdramatic
self conscious ab his fashion will ask for advice all the time
hes really fun to be w and most of the time he asks like an ass (affectionate)
^^ likes calling friends/subordinates affectionate insults like "dumbass" as u can see w dazai and mackerel
sometimes he can get rly mean tho 😒
hit him w the "why are you so mean to me"/"dawg what did i do to you 🙁" and he'll instantly feel bad
enjoys banter and finds intelligence attractive
wears elevated shoes
i feel like the way he talks can come across as flirty to some people, so like hes not a womanizer hes just being nice in a cocky way so its like, "hey ya look nice in that, wear that more, yea?" so sometimes yall just be talking and ur like "what are we"
his music taste is either romantic jazz or rock.
cracks his knuckles a lot
also always has back pain from his horrid sleeping positions??
hes a messy and chaotic sleeper
likes taking pictures of the sunset
his social media account is surprisingly normal - he def posts the most on instagram
^^ his captions to his posts would be smth corny like "what a wonderful evening"
sings when hes drunk to you
knows how to moonwalk
teen chuuya hcs:
tried to be a streamer when he was 15
collects jordans
caresses his motorcycle randomly
told everyone he was gonna start collecting wine and noone believed him
prefers calling over texting
before koyo knocked some sense (and fashion) into him he gave frat boy energy
genuinely loves guitar (electric or acoustic)
WILL SERENADE YOU
music is like one of the only things that can calm him down
but not like just the calming music, yk how sometimes theres sm noise so you need to put really loud music to drown it out? thats him
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yangkitties ¡ 5 months ago
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bros before hoes ✰ chapter 21: three's a crowd
wc: 0.6k
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Sunghoon can’t help how he feels. 
Jealousy simmers at the tips of his fingers, bubbling away in his chest. He thinks he might explode if he has to see Chaemin next to you for another second more. 
You’re laughing, and it’s the most wonderful sound in the world, but Sunghoon wants to smash his head against the wall, because you’re laughing, and it’s not because of him. 
Sunghoon was gone for one week, maybe just a little bit more, but he comes back to see you all over Chaemin, and he can’t help but want to throw up on Chaemin’s pristine black shoes. 
Sunghoon scowls as he watches you both, passing comments and acting like you had known each other forever. He was sure at one point Chaemin pointed at him and then proceeded to whisper something in your ear. 
Or maybe Sunghoon was just going insane. 
He watches as Chaemin doubles down in mock pain, an over exaggerated reaction to you lightly punching him. You roll your eyes, making your way towards Sunghoon. 
Your eyes meet, and suddenly the world stops spinning. Sunghoon swears he could get lost in your eyes forever and never complain. 
He knows he has the most dopey grin on his face, ‘goo-goo eyes’, as Riki would describe, but he can’t care, because you’re making your way towards him with the most gentle expression on your face. 
Your face looks over his own, smiling brightly at him. He sees your lips move, vaguely making out what you’re saying. He can’t really hear anything, too immersed in trying to memorise your face. 
It’s not until you snap your fingers in front of his face does he realise you’re calling out to him, telling him something. 
‘Hoon, you good? You’ve been spacing out a lot recently…’ You pout, and Sunghoon thinks his heart just burst into a billion butterflies. 
He laughs, shaking his head lightly. He can feel the heat crawling up his neck, blood rushing to his ears. 
‘Just tired… All the travelling is catching up a little.’ He leans back, head bumping the wall. You nod in understanding. 
‘You should come officially meet Chaemin! I bet that would give you some energy!!’ The thought of meeting Chaemin made Sunghoon want to rip his hair off, but you looked so hopeful, how could he ever say no to you?
He nodded, standing up beside you. You cheered, clapping your hands as you lead Sunghoon to where Chaemin was. 
Your smile is intoxicating as you introduce the both of them to each other, trying your best to break the ice. Sunghoon almost breaks out into a smile, keyword being ‘almost’. 
He can’t help but scowl every time you giggle at Chaemin’s actions, frown deepening ever so slightly. 
The introductions are cut short by the director’s yell, calling you to your places. The 3 of you rush to your places, stage faces taking over. 
Sunghoon would love to say that emceeing went smoothly, he really did. 
It started off fine, the 3 of you introducing yourselves, laughing as if you were the world’s best friends. 
It really was fine until the interviews began, and Sunghoon’s eyes landed on the script. His eyes almost roll out of their sockets as he reads the script, raging at the amount of banter scripted for you and Chaemin. 
The rest of the interviews seem awkward and heavy, Sunghoon’s tensed speech changing the mood. 
Thankfully it gets over quickly. Sunghoon rolls his eyes, exasperated at the result of the interviews. 
He finishes packing in record time, leaving the building as soon as he could. Sunghoon scowls all the way back to the building, drowning in his own head. 
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prev | m.list | next
synopsis > with the help of fukutomi tsuki, park y/n finally gains the courage to face their long time crush, the one and only, park sunghoon. park sunghoon thinks it's love at first sight when he sees her. paired up as the new mcs of music bank, shenanigans ensue when y/n learns about sunghoon's crush...
note: brah lowk dont know what im doing... hope y'all are enjoying tho bc i love making this smau so much 🥹 enjoy this humungous chapter as an apology for going ia randomly 😔🫶
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©️ yangkitties 2024 do not copy, plagiarise, or repost
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adallinda ¡ 27 days ago
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Headcannons BEN Drowned.
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Starters first he died at the age of 14 and I do personally think he is the same case as Sally, he does not age nor physically nor mentally. We all know that Ben basically "controls" the electronics. I always liked to imagine that when he wants to be alone he just goes inside an electronic and hangs out there.
When it comes to personality, he is very bubbly but sarcastic as hell if that makes sense. Extroverted, very extroverted. Likes to pull harmless and actually funny pranks on the others in the manor.
His appearance will always be the one of a 14 year old. I think he has blonde hair but with faded dark green ends, that would look so cool. For fashion sense literally dresses for comfort not style. T shirt and jorts and some cartoon socks (can you tell that this is how I dressed at 14 yrs)
For friends he would totally be best friends with Jeff and silver. I think the whole fandom settled down on that one. I also the relationship between him and Sally brotherly. Shipping them is fucking weird. Also unpopular opinion, best friends with Nina. Like I totally see Ben being into scene/emo stuff and Nina just telling him about the politics and style. (I feel like everyone would be friends w Nina, can y'all tell I have a fav girl)
Spends time playing video games but every time someone says he's addicted to them and angel loses its wings. I feel like he would print posters and put them up his wall while listening to music or just draw. Likes to go to random trees and carve things into them like his name or anything to be honest.
When it comes to interest, forgive but my little pony... I'M SORRY BUT LOOK STRAIGHT INTO MY EYES AND TELL ME HE WOULDN'T LIKE MY LITTLE PONY LIKE. (Fav is rainbow dash) He also likes horror games like silent Hill or OMORI but still MLP better
I think his very short since hes only 14 like when I was 14 I was 5'6 so idk I think he would also be 5'6. Idk Americans heights I only know centimeters so that would come around 165-167 😿
His fav animal are definitely dogs. Has a ton of fun with Smile dog. Plays catch with him and honestly everyone in the manor loves smile dog, who wouldn't. Totally prefers dogs rather than cats, I still feel like his fav pet would be a parrot tho, I don't know why, maybe I'm just going insane writing this.
His favorite season would totally be autumn. He just seems that kind of person where you look at them and instaly know their fav season, autumn. He likes to see how the leaves fall and change color, likes to make those big piles of leaves and just jumps in it.
When he was still alive I think he would get sick on a regular basis, he's happy that now he can't get sick or go to the doctor to be treated or do those vaccines that you do at a specific age.
Most of his time is spend playing games but he really likes spending time with friends too. He likes to talk with silver about Pokemon and games in general, he likes to draw and gossip with Sally and he also really enjoys just talking with Jeff in general. There isn't really that much to do with Jeff rather than to talk shit about people or train.
Since he is a ghost I do think he is capable of going in the city whenever he wants to. I mean most proxies are but they don't do it that often due to the risk of being recognize but since he's a spirit he doesn't have to worry about that.
Speaking of music he is totally into Pierce the veil, like I do view him as the type of person to listen to electronic music but Pierce the veil goes with anything. I don't know ANYTHING about music genres so I'm gonna name any electronic bands😿
When it comes to killing I think he would drive his victims insane but when he wants to do it quick I just think he would electrocute them.
Never liked being a proxy but there isn't anything he can do about it. Honestly I don't think anyone likes being a proxy but most, like him, accepted their fate but still dream that one day maybe they'll be free.
How is he treated in the fandom?
From the very beginning when I joined this fandom in 2016 I saw people going crazy over Ben drowned. And I understand, it was 2016 and everything was very unrestricted, not a safe space for kids and teens and you would see some fucked up shit on the internet on a daily basis but I feel like now that we grew as a fandom and grew mentally we can all agree Ben isn't treated how he should be. He is a great character and very good written. His original story, BEN, where he gets stuck in Majoras mask and it was an ARG and nobody knew it wasn't real was so well done. But ts clear that Ben and BEN are both children, no matter of which one we speak.
The ships
First, he's a child, he shouldn't be shipped with anyone. It first started with Sally. There are so many wrong things here, in Sally's original story she dies at 8 years old and Ben at 12 (in my AU he is 14, no big difference) , that's a huge gap. Secondly why ship minors.
After the Sally incident it went along with Jeff which is more fucking worse. Not only that Ben is 12, Jeff is 20+. That is wrong on so many levels and I'm sure you're mature enough to know and I don't need to list down every fucking reason.
After Jeff, came silver. Which I don't know much about silver so I don't know if this is problematic or not. I'm not gonna put my opinion on this just wanted to include him too since he is apart of this too.
How people viewed him
Literally nothing changed when it comes to how people view him. There are only 2 ways, you either see him as k1nk1 and perverted or as a stoner and a crack head. What the fuck. I don't think I ever met someone who does NOT think of him like that, it's trully sickening and weird. And it has always been like this. It's a huge problem that sadly the people in the fandom choose to ignore rather than speak about it and try to fix it. A problem won't fix itself if no ones speaks no one speaks up about it, and not just one person, more.
Excuses
Many people use excuses when talking about why they go crazy over Ben. I don't believe there is any excuse, you're just weird for doing that. The only excuse that seems KINDA valid is being the same age as him, I can't say anything at that but 15+ and still having a crush on Ben? No. Just no.
When you're the same age as the character, I can't say anything but older than that specific character? It's just wrong, in any way. People, especially adults, need to stop having crushes on characters younger than them or that are literally minors.
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ultimateloserboy ¡ 2 years ago
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I’ve been holding back this ramble forever but the food episode makes me tear up and i NEED to talk about it.
The food episode was the only episode I really couldn’t watch as a kid. I remember being horrified by it. to this day i still feel uneasy thinking about it, even though it doesn’t scare me in the slightest anymore. the reason i feel uneasy now isnt because im scared, its because to me its the saddest episode of the whole series and makes me want to punch walls. when i was younger i didnt notice a lot of the things ive noticed now, and every time i watch the episode i notice even more.
a lot of people talk about this episode as if red guy ran away and wants nothing to do with the house, that he’s trying to save the other two by bringing them to his world. while i dont think this is a wrong or bad interpretation, considering it’s understandable, id like to talk about my own interpretation. i dont think red guy even knew how he left. keep in mind he just exploded and then woke up in an office. there’s absolutely nothing suggesting he ran away on purpose. all he wanted was for colin to shut up, he wasnt intending to find the room he found. this itself isnt an interpretation, its a fact, BUT how he feels about it and what he does in the red guy world is completely up to interpretation! mine is that he wants to go home instead of trying to get the other two out of it. lemme explain ok hear me out:
throughout the entire food episode red guy is constantly popping up in the background somewhere. hes drawn behind windows and his head is in the microwave in one shot. when duck knocks the camera over for a split second you can even see his legs as it falls. the leg thing is what really got me, because most other times he was simply drawn. but those were his actual legs standing in the kitchen. to me it represents the fact that he isnt actually there but is “haunting” the other two. they dont really remember him but they can see him out of the corners of their eyes. hes blurry and far away but they KNOW someone is there (or WAS there, i should say). but on his end i think it could represent how hes still there in his head, how hes still singing songs and shit like that despite being out of that world. he says he hated that world, that hes allergic to music, but now that hes gone from it its stuck in his head. he misses the music. he misses his friends. hes still there in spirit.
before i continue id just like to say that, no, the main three INCLUDING RED GUY dont always want to leave the house. especially when they have to leave the others behind. whenever theyre off somewhere they usually want to go back home, yellow guy even said “i want to go home” word for word once. but he also said “no more songs” these things can exist at the same time guys. they can not want to drown in oil but still want to live in their house, yall realize that right? thats a huge theme in the show, that the house and the main three have a very complicated relationship. they dont want to leave their home they just want it to, yaknow, NOT EAT THEM. so i think red guy wanting to come home isnt at all out of character. and he doesnt like the red guy world anyway, why would he take his friends there when theyre wacky as shit and wouldnt fit in there or enjoy it at all? also id like to make the point that he doesnt know what’s happening in the house (at least not the seriousness of it) until he sees the machine. so him trying to save the other two from getting munched makes no sense to me personally. AGAIN THO THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION!! YOURS IS VALID TOO AND I LOVE YOU!!!
But anyway continuing on, ducks reaction especially makes me insane. whenever i see how duck acts in episodes like “jobs” when he starts freaking out and trying to get the first aid kit for yellow guy im reminded of this episode. duck really does love his friends at heart. he doesnt want to leave the house, he sees no point, but to me the reason he doesnt want to leave is BECAUSE of his friends (or at least one of the reasons). in the tv series duck has a whole argument with red guy about leaving, and while some people say this duck is different than webseries duck i have to disagree. i think duck wouldve always argued about staying, but i also think hed always want to leave if red guy did. duck always switches up as soon as something is “wrong”. he always wants to stay until one of his friends is acting weird/hurt/missing and then suddenly the world isnt right and he doesnt want to be there. not only that but he will do everything in his power to fight against the things keeping him from his friends or hurting them, even if it means risking his own life. he knew some weird shit was going on every time he answered the phone, but despite that he continued answering anyway. he interrupted the songs and pushed things away and kept running to the phone, being disobedient and not giving a damn. this isnt unusual for duck, but it makes me especially ill, because he acts very confused as well. hes very upset, not mad like he usually is but genuinely upset and worried. most likely because of how hazy his memory is. my favorite scene of the series is when he pushes over the camera and says “i dont want to do this anymore” it rips my heart apart hes just like me fr. it also comes back to the transport episode, where hes like “well the song wasnt that great but at least it was funny. nobody gets TOO hurt by these songs and stuff so who cares? why leave?” i think hes always thought this way, the reason he says “i dont want to do this ANYMORE” is because suddenly the world has shifted. suddenly things are much more sinister and make even less sense. suddenly he is in genuine danger, and he isnt coming back this time. things have gone too far now, and he tries tearing down reality itself to get out, but unfortunately hes just not strong enough.
i also like to think that the food is singing about red guy the whole time, not actually food, and how he deserves punishment, and if you end up like him youll be punished too (which is exactly what happens to duck for answering the phone) “the bad, not-healthy foods are very rude! and must leave through the catflap!” isnt that what red guy did? he wandered too far and saw what he shouldnt have so he was sent away. also the steak says “you need to know whats right from wrong” which doesnt go with the rest of the song at all and seems to be directed at duck specifically. it seems more like theyre trying to keep duck and yellow guy in line rather than teach them about food. when they say “you shouldnt eat food from a strangers plate” considering the previous lyrics and the context before the chanting i think theyre talking about not believing what youre told by “strangers” (aka the non-teacher characters) theyre saying not to listen to whatever red guy is trying to say, to not answer the phone, to not end up like him. or at least thats what i think anyway.
lastly, the ending. yellow guy sitting in the kitchen alone, in the dark, covered in blood while the phone loudly rings is probably the most haunting part of the series to me. remember what i said about not being scared? well i LIED. this scene specifically still scares the fuck out of me. it fills me with genuinely painful dread. the scene where he looks over at the phone, hearing it but not getting up to answer it and letting it ring until red guy gives up is heartbreaking. im not sure if yellow guy even knows what’s happening in this scene, but hes been taught by now to NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. so he doesnt. and the teachers leave him alone with the phone because theyre confident he wont answer it. and theyre right. it breaks my heart just looking at it. in the next episode he ends up fighting back just like duck did, but just like duck, he cant truly do anything. it really puts into perspective how powerless all three of them are. god it ruins me. all they wanted was to know what the biggest thing in the world was, and now theyve been torn apart for wandering too far. cries and sobs
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ffauthor ¡ 2 years ago
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Kinda new to this whole requesting stuff so please forgive me if it’s confusing
Could you possibly write a Michael Afton x reader in which reader is Henry’s eldest daughter? Maybe Michael and reader might be kissing and Henry catches them in the act? I'll leave the rest up to you! :D
Hey! Thank you so much for requesting this! I'd love to write this! :D
It's not confusing at all!
Sorry if this isn't due to your expectations, I loved writing this.
y/f/f= your favorite flower,
In which reader is Henry's daughter/son.
Cw: Cursing, bestfriends with.. benefits?
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''No! Just, please. y/n.'' Michael has been walking around the room quickly, craving his hands over his face and covering his eyes.
''Please, just hear me out.'' You have been hearing him out, that's the whole problem. You always heard him out, and even now with your hands playing with the guitar strings and your sight glued to his. You never did anything else but hear him out, because you cared about him. You truly cared about him to the point you would be damned if anything ever happened to him.
Michael was your best friend, and you hated to know that you might lose your best friend over a stupid thing he did.
You couldn't blame Michael though, you were nothing more than friends. You weren't even together, but it hurt seeing Michael smile at a girl in your class, the girl you spend all your breaks with and do all of your school projects with. She became one of your closest friends.
It still hurt seeing Michael put effort into getting to know her. It hurt seeing him become distant from you to hang out with.. her. But what hurts the most is that you had no reason to hate her, because she was everything you wished to be. She was perfect, for Michael. She was perfect for everyone around.
So when you saw Michael, looking at you with this saddened expression and his fingers intertwined with hers you speeded out of the cafeteria. You didn't care where you were going, all you wanted was to get as far away from him as possible. You were afraid that after not talking to him for weeks would cause you to break down, to maybe be weak in the knees again, for him.
Because as much as you wanted it to not be true, you liked him. You actually caught feelings for him, and although it hurt, it felt too damn right.
And that brings you here, stuck in one of the music rooms with your 'best friend' only inches away from you. He's now fidgeting with his fingers, making you wonder if he's as nervous as you are right now, stuck in a position you wished to never get in.
Confrontation.
''I'm listening Michael... I have been listening!'' you get ahold of the sudden raise of tone as you feel your eyes burn slightly, your heart raising. ''Please, If I knew you... liked me, I wouldn't have treated you like this.'' you held your breath, afraid to bust your cover even tho it has already been blown.
''I- Michael, I don't like you. I mean.. not like that.'' you looked away, you wouldn't dare to look at him any longer. Not after those few words, not after damn well knowing you weren't only lying to him, but to yourself too.
And maybe Michael knew, or maybe he didn't, whatever it was, he would never like you back.
Michael started to chuckle as he rubbed his hand on your chin.
''Don't lie to me, sweetheart. Come on, I can see the lie written on your face.''
''You get shy when you lie, you look away. I can read you like a goddamn book y/n.''
''Don't hide from me, please.'' His voice was so desperate yet so passionate and.. truthful. He tilted your head a little bit so you were looking him in the eyes, those goddamn blue eyes that would let you drown right there at the moment.
You were desperate for his touch, maybe to even feel his lips burst onto yours but you couldn't help but push him away. ''This... This is wrong Michael.''
His hand gets lifted off your chin, and he takes a step back to keep some space between the two of you. Michael would lie if he said he didn't feel a little taken aback by you pushing him away, maybe because he didn't want anything else but to hold you and tell you a thousand times how sorry he was, in multiple different ways.
''Y/n..''
''No, Michael. We- You, can't do this. You have a.. a.. girlfriend.''
''Even though- I wouldn't want anything else but this-... It won't.. work.''
''You should probably go... if she sees u-'' Lips crashed straight onto yours, his lips. His soft light pink lips against your reddened ones.
It formed butterflies in your stomach, it caused you to widen your eyes and have your hands hang loosely, while he made its way in your hair, holding the side of your head and cheek cupped.
It is that he pulled away, otherwise this kiss would probably.. have turned into a make-out session. I mean, it's not like you would have minded tho. You already forgave him the moment his hand touched your chin. The feeling was magical, and the kiss really finished it.
''These flowers, these y/f/f's you love the most? they were for you, okay? I wanted to give them to you. I wanted to give them to the most beautiful girl right here in front of me. But I was a coward because I was too scared to give them to you because I was scared I was gonna ruin our friendship, and so I wanted to ask F/N if they could give them to you.''
''But I couldn't even ask it because she got the wrong idea... and so she kissed me. And - And I know that is not an excuse... I really know that but- I swear I pushed her away, okay? you just ran away t-''
He gets interrupted by a hard smack against his cheek, coming from your own strength. You had a tear roll down your cheek as a smile formed on your face. Michael's face was priceless to see, you have to admit.
''You really are a goddamn asshole, Michael Afton,'' you mumble, intertwining your fingers with his as you press your lips back against his. You could feel him smile against your lips as he took you by the waist and deepened the kiss a little bit, mumbling in between.
''I deserved that.''
The door of the classroom opened with a slam, making you both flinch and end the kiss in a heartbeat. The loss of his warmth makes you groan.
''You've got to be fucking kidding me.''
''Seriously? my best friend's son out of every guy you can get?'' You hear the voice of your father saying, his figure in the doorway matching it completely. He threw the well-known bouquet of flowers that Michael meant to give you on the floor just in front of you two.
''I think you forgot those'' Before you placed your head on Michael's chest, Michael's arms wrapped around your body.
''Hey- Mr. Emily.''
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joey-smack ¡ 3 months ago
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review of “the end is not the end” by house of heroes for @ismashedkasso666 !!
the cover made me giggle btw
intro - not rating cause pointless ya know
if - i give this one a 9/10 cause i like it a bunch :P. these lyrics making me ponder things too … ESPECIALLY “if you were mine, i’d have the world” cause like word!
lose control - 7/10. i like it, but it doesn’t particularly stand out. “i have no future and i have no past” i fw that haaard.
leave you now - 8/10. for some reason, my favorite part is the bass LMAO. i also want to comment that this album is mixed very well… everything is the perfect volume and sounds very nice. “i can’t leave you now / i got nowhere to go anyhow” luv it.
dangerous - 10/10. i reaaaally like this one. i can’t even put lyrics here cause i love them all!!!! this one is def going on a playlist of mine. i am thanking you for making me hear this.
in the valley of the dying son - 9/10. at first i thought i wasn’t gonna like it but i reaaally do. i like the little solo part & honestly the whole song. literally just “i’m thinking of you” yes dawg i am always thinking of u 🙏🏼💔
code name : raven - 8.8/10. these cats are cookin! LMAO. this one is pretty good, i like his vocals a bunch. “you’re the only reason i stayed” / “i’m on your side until my body drains of blood” this dude GETS it.
by your side - 100/10. i looove a good sappy/acoustic song. this one is good as freak like i’m feeling it for real !!!!! “just to see your face for a moment, i’d cross the ocean again” uhh yeah most certainly … i feel like this guy just stole all my internal thoughts or smthn >_<. this song hurts, but i love it regardless.
journey into space (pt.1) - 7.5/10. i found it a liiiittle boring … don’t hate me pls 💔. it wasn’t bad, tho. the lyrics are a bit repetitive x_x.
sooner or later - 9/10. i like this one a bunch. “we never had a chance but i’m happy we that we tried” DO YOU WANT ME TO KMS!? guh. this one is super super good.
baby’s a red - 11/10. WHY IS THIS ONE MAKING ME EMOTIONAL????? okay listen i feel music harder than literally anything so like. good lird. i love this song, it’s so sweet T-T. “i will testify that i loved you” / “only that i loved you until death” YOU’RE KILLING ME!
drown - 8.9/10. this one is pretty good. “sacrifice your pride to find a new beginning” very, very true…
faces - 9.2/10. siiiigh… again, he gets me. “i only want what’s bad for me” girlll me too LMAO. i can’t properly convey my thoughts here for some reason, but i quite like this one.
voices - 6.8/10. guhh… i didn’t care much for this one </3. it could’ve been better i think.
field of daggers - 8/10. very pretty ^_^. seems religious in a way? i may be a little stupid and interpreting the lyrics incorrectly, but that’s how it sounds. the outro is very nice.
new moon - 8.5/10. “i feel the aching of an old bruise healing” gguuuuuhhhh!!! lyricism is off-the-charts. i am still taken aback at how well this album sounds, i’m seriously impressed.
ghost - 9.8/10. :-(. this one just hurts zawg… sigh. i think it’s a very fitting closing track for the album. i really like his voice, it’s versatile and fits the lyrics well. “i got my freedom, but it feels like emptiness” / “i wanna fade away driftin’ out your life” good lird. i cant even. do u want to see me cry brotha …
WE HAVE REACHED THE END!!! overall, i think i give it an 8.9/10. i did not expect to like it so much, but i really do ^_^! thank you for showing me this, i WILL kiss u on the mouth 4 this cause it is srs great. i hope my review is sufficient 💘!!!
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r-0-x-4-s ¡ 4 months ago
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epic: the musical ranking to my likings (to be updated every album release!)
God Games - i think i died the first time i heard Aphrodite, all the gods, its such a fun song, i love Athena
No Longer You - prophecy song and foreshadowing 🔝 just my vibe
Just a Man - the man, the legend, the myth, would feel like a crime not putting it in the top 3
My Goodbye - i can feel Athena's and Ody hearts break, i love singing along, "You're Just a Man" chorus... chills! i love Athena pt. 2
Scylla - i love evil women doing evil shit "Drown in your sorrows and fears!!!" 💃YAS QUEEN, Eurylochus' coming out+ "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES" yeah epic survival song
Suffering - i love evil women doing evil shit pt. 2, the love Ody has for Penelope>>>, such a funny song to sing along, "Penelope, why, You know I'm too shy 👉👈"
Done For - CIRCE!!! i love evil women doing evil shit pt. 3, i love circe
Wouldn't You Like - every God song is such a banger, hermes is a delight and i love his zany laughter
Ruthlessness - finally the Ocean Saga shows up! (no i totally didnt fear to write down this word *hides in dyslexic cave* i feel always proud if i can pronounce it right first try) this song is very much a slay
Remember Them - chills
Survive - yeah epic survival song pt. 2, aot vibes, i love how this one and polyphemus are attached, true epicness
Keep Your Friends Close - silly song i love with my whole heart, Aeolous is so cute!!
There Are Other Ways - CIRCE!! i love her!!
Little Wolf - why does Antino sound so good and suave, i always imagined him like a disgusting pig <3, i love Athena pt. 3
Thunder Bringer - Zeus has such a distant regal vibe, the "But we'll die/ I know" HEART BREAKING
Warrior of the Mind - a classic, maybe The Classic, i love Athena pt. 4
The Horse and the Infant -SUCH A GREAT OPENING OF THE ALBUM!! first look at zeus and so many greek "heroes" mentions!!
We'll Be Fine - Athena and Telemachus!! just this, she's not the Step-Aunt... she's the Aunt who stepped up!!! i love Athena pt. 5
Open Arms - Such a hawaiian shirt song fr fr
Puppeteer - it took me some time to warm up to it (cus of the rap, i don't listen to it usually) BUT ITS SO SILLY!!
Polyphemus - I really like the middle to end part, when Ody tries to talk his way out of the cave, and the end connecting to Survive its what we call a slay
Luck Runs Out - maybe i just dont really like the Ocean Saga lol, tho this song is very very cool, (remember seeing it in lmk video and thats what forced me to listen to the epic musical in full) before anyone comes for me THIS SONG IS GOOD BUT I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOVE IT MORE
Love in Paradise - CALYPSO IS SO GOOD!??? tho apart from her verses i don't really like anything else :(
The Underworld - everytime i get reminded Full Speed Ahead exists a part of my soul dies, tho right after "Bye, Mom" THE SONG BECOMES ONE OF MY FAVES
Monster - i think this is the song i quote the most irl, i think its low just cus its too fast for me to sing along 😭 and also its less iconic than The Underworld
Legendary - i like this a lot! such a good "I Want" Disney type song!
Mutiny - now im wondering if i should put this higher, but the problem is that (apart from the last 3 and the top 4) EVERY SONG IS INTERCHANGABLE, THEY ARE ALL GREAT IN THEIR WAY
Full Speed Ahead - the bane of my existĂŞncia, i skip it 50% of the times, still has great moments like Polited and "Penelope is waiting for me"
Different Beast - the bane of my existĂŞncia pt. 2, always a skip, unless im in the shower, then i would sing along while >:(
Storm - the bane of my existĂŞncia pt. 3, ALWAYS A SKIP, IF IM IN THE SHOWER I GET OUT TO SKIP IT, IF STORM HAS NO HATERS IM DEAD
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happypeaceperson ¡ 2 years ago
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Innocent
Mickey Altieri x male reader.
Takes place around the time of the party and Cicis death in scream 2. I wanted to write a jealous Mickey so i threw this together. I also gave a motive towards Cicis death because getting killed because of your name is wild 😭
(If you sent me requests for other stories I promise I'll get to them soon. I just wanted to do another Mickey fic first! )
Anyways Enjoy!
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The lunch hall was filled with chatter. Your own thoughts being drowned out by the noise around you. You felt someone grab your arm. Looking down you see Cici. She gets up from her chair, smiling. "Hey" She pulls you into a hug. It's a well known rumour that Cici has a crush on you. Many don't even call it a rumour with how well known it is. This doesn't stop you from talking to her though. She's been a great friend to you, you couldn't ditch her for some dumb rumours. 
Anyways, Cici knew about you and Mickey. She wouldn't try to take that away from you or him. "Omg hey" you said, pulling away from the hug. Your hands rested on her shoulders. "We haven't talked in ages" You added, smiling back at her. You had been so distracted by your college work and life in general that you forgot to catch up with most of your friends
"I know," She said, laughing. "How have you been?" 
"I've been good, been pretty occupied with school work that's all." You moved your hands to cross over your chest. 
Hallie looked over from the table where all your friends sat "Oh look at that, Cici trying to make her move again" She said sarcastically, eating her lunch. Mickey turned to see Cici pull you into another hug before you went to walk over to their table.
"Hey" You said to the group, pulling out the seat beside Mickey. You leaned in, planting a kiss on Mickey's lips. In front of you sat Hallie, Sidney and Sidney's boyfriend, Derek. "How's everyone been?" You asked, stealing a bit of food from Mickey's tray. 
"Where the hell have you been?" Hallie asked, leaning over the Table. You looked at her, a confused expression on your face. 
"Um, I had work to catch up on?" You said, looking around the table. 
"For a week?" Sidney asked,joining in on the conversation. 
"Yeah I went a bit without doing much work, sorry" You put your hands up defensively. 
"Mhm" Hallie sat back down in her chair. "You had time for Mickey tho." Mickey turned his attention back to the conversation. He had been looking over at Cici,he hadn't stopped looking over since he saw you two talking. 
"Well if a guy climbs in through your window, it's gonna catch your attention." You elbowed at Mickey. He laughed. The three in front of you went on to talk about something you didn't care about. Instead you turned to Mickey, he looked distracted. "Hey" You put your hand on his lap. "Is everything ok?" You asked. 
He turned to face you. "Yeah" He muttered "Perfectly fine" He smiled at you. 
Your attention switched from Mickey to Sidney. "Are you going to the party tonight?" She asked you.
You laughed. "Yeah, if i didn't i think he'd kill me" You motioned towards Mickey, getting a laugh from the group. 
Time skip to after the party. 
You stood by Mickey for most of the party, both of you dancing around. You drank every beverage you could get your hands on. You only stopped when Sidney came to get you. "Y/N i think it's time you go home" She said, her hand on your shoulder looking up at Mickey. 
"What?" You said, the music blocking any other form of sound to enter your ears. 
"I think we should head home now." Sidney said, a bit louder. 
"Ahh, ok." You replied, relieved you were finally leaving. You didn't hate the party, it was fun but you don't like being in a house with a hundred or more students all drunk or high. You, Sidney and Mickey walked out outside, meeting with Hallie and Derek. 
"We're heading home," Sidney said to the other two. Derek offered to give everyone a ride back.Mickey declined,suggesting that you and him just walk home. You agreed. You only lived a bit away, a 15-20 minute walk. 
You said your goodbyes to your friends before heading home. "Oh shit" Mickey said, his hands moving over his pockets. 
"What?" You asked, turning to look at him. 
"I forgot my.." He paused. "My lighter, I gave it to someone back there." You didn't remember Mickey having a lighter, he didn't even smoke. You brushed it off, Mickey always had the most random things with him so it wasn't that strange. 
"You want me to go back with you?" You asked, walking forward. 
"Uh no, it's fine. I'll just run back by myself. I'll meet you back at yours." He leaned in, giving you a kiss before heading back towards the party. You looked at him for a moment. He was acting weird. You shook your head,thinking to yourself that it was probably the alcohol. You began to walk home. 
Time skip to the next morning. 
You lay in your bed, Mickey's arm's wrapped around you. You felt his bare chest raising on your back. You loved this feeling, his arms over you, his breath brushing against your neck. You felt safe, like nothing could hurt you. 
You sat up, accidently waking Mickey in the process. "Good morning," He said, rubbing his eyes. 
 "Oh shit, sorry." You apologised. "I didn't mean to wake you" 
"It's ok" He sat up at the edge of the bed, climbing out of it. You watched as he went into your bathroom. You got out of bed, heading towards the kitchen. You grabbed a glass cup before filling it with water. You took a sip from it as you heard the phone ringing. 
You walked over, answering it. "Hello?" You asked, taking another sip from your glass. 
"Turn on the news right now." It was Hallie, she sounded worried. 
"Oh um ok?" you said confused. You went over to the couch, grabbing the TV remote. "Is everything ok?" You asked. 
"Just watch it." You sat down, looking at what was happening. You watched the news report. It was outside on of the college houses. You watched in horror as you heard them report a death. You felt your heart drop when you heard Cici's name. "What the fuck?" You said, still on the phone. 
"I know, it's awful," Hallie replied. "I've got to go, Sidney's probably going crazy over it." She said before hanging up. 
You heard footsteps behind you, seeing Mickey. "What's wrong?" He looked at you. At the tears forming in your eyes. 
"Cici was murdered last night." You got up from the couch. You walked towards Mickey as he took you in for a hug. 
"Oh my god. I'm so sorry." He said. His voice sounded off to you, something about it felt weird. 
You pulled away from the hug. "Where did you go when you left me?" You asked, looking at him. 
"What?" He looked at you, his eyes not leaving yours. "I went back to the party. You don't think I did this, do you?" 
"I don't know." You said a tear falling down your eye. "You were acting strange last night." You looked away from him,turning back to the news report. 
Mickey grabbed your shoulder. "I was drunk, that's all" He said. He pulled you in for another hug "I wouldn't do such a thing" He added. Your head rested on his shoulder, looking behind him. You felt uncomfortable. He was definitely acting weirder than usual. You pulled away, heading towards your room to get dressed. 
Time skip to the police office. 
You sat beside Sidney, waiting to be called into the office. Everyone who had any relations with Cici was called in. Mickey was in the office. He looked calm,too calm for what just happened. You watched as he got up, walking out. They called your name. Sidney rubbed at your back as yiu stood up. 
You walked past Mickey, he gave you a smile, one you didn't return. You sat down on the seat that sat in front of the desk. There were 2 officers in there with you. 
"So, where were you last night?" One of them asked. 
"At the party, like everyone else." You said looking in between them. 
"And after that?" the officer sat on the desk. 
"I went home." You looked up at him. "With Mickey." You motioned out the window, towards Mickey. 
"You two went home together?" He asked. 
"Well kind of. Mickey forgot his lighter so he went back to get it." You said, not realising how suspicious it made Mickey look. 
"So you two split up than?" You nodded. "And you went straight home?" 
"Yes." You sat up in the chair. 
"How far is your house? You didn't get a ride home from someone?" The other officer asked, leaning on the wall. 
You turned to face him. "It's like a 15 minute walk, and I was offered a ride but Mickey suggested that we should just walk." 
"Mickey suggested that?" The officers looked at each other. "It's a strange coincidence he suggests that just to forget something and want to head back huh?" 
You looked at them both. "Officer, I don't know what your trying to say but Mickey wouldn't kill anyone." You said. You didn't fully believe your statement, but you also didn't want Mickey to get into trouble. 
"And you're sure of that?" The officer unfolded his arms. 
"Yes. He's a nice guy, he wouldn't have a reason to kill anyone. Especially Cici." You looked at the officers. 
"We were told Cici had a crush on you?" The officer said, getting up from the desk. "And Mickey, he's your boyfriend, correct?" You nodded. "I think that could be a very valid reason to kill someone." The officer turned to face his partner, pointing to him. "Don't you think? Jealousy is one of the main causes of murders" 
You sat there staring at the two. You never thought of that. Was he jealous? Why would he be? He knows how much you love him. "He wouldn't." You said. You felt anger rise in you. You couldn't sit there as the officers accused Mickey right in front of you. You looked out the window, catching eyes with Mickey. You turned away, you couldn't look at him. 
They both looked at you. "Ok." He went to open the door. "You're free to go" He motioned towards the door. 
You stormed out the room, muttering a thanks under your breath. You headed towards where Sidney and Mickey sat. "What did they ask you?" Sidney said, sitting up. You sat down beside Mickey. 
"Nothing just the basic questions of where I was" You didn't want to go into detail, all you could think about is what the officers said. Mickey placed his hand on your leg, rubbing it. You looked at him, providing a weak smile. You didn't trust him. He was your boyfriend and you loved him but the officers had a point. You rested your head on his shoulder. All you could do right now is wait. Wait for them to find out who did this. Wait to see if your suspicions towards Mickey was just you overthinking or if he really was a killer. 
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somejazzinthemorning ¡ 2 years ago
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tightrope. 03
Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Original Female Character Warnings: Language Word Count: 7.241 Previous chapter: 02.
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Drowning myself in work is my go-to coping mechanism for more than half of my problems.
I'll either resort to racing or tracing brand strategies in an attempt to avoid having to face whatever problem throws my way and, that night, being 11 pm on a Wednesday, my laptop and the small whiteboard on my desk became my saving grace.
Despite the burning eyes and my aching back, after hours sat at my desk, my mind was still racing, high on whatever feelings the brush of his lips had evoked in my body. I fell asleep to the memory of his eyes and the velvet lips.
There was no way to escape it. We were already falling.
I woke up late, the next day.
My phone had a full wall of notifications ready to present me. A single text in the middle of the dozens of work-related emails, most of them answers to the ones I’d written during the night and scheduled to be sent in the early hours of the work day. I only realised I was smiling, probably high on my own expectations, when I felt my smile drop, after seeing who sent the text. Amanda. Not him.
“those updates on the project at 3 am??? r u okay?”
“sorry! i remembered to schedule the emails, but forgot about the notes on the project.” "got some good work done, tho”
"need to take a moment to reread all of your incoherent notes” "all that rambling is… wow” "BUUUUUT come to the office” "the things from the berlin store just arrived, you will love them”
"can’t make it today” "send pics!”
"come tomorrow, then! ill get churros for breakfast”
My phone went back to the nightstand and I pulled up the comforter, wrapping it around myself in an attempt to find some security and calm of mind. I peered out from under the comforter, staring at the dark room, only lightened by some streaks of light created from a gap in the blinds. I was still tired from the night, and my mind scrambled from everything we had shared.
Eventually, I left the bed. My mom was downstairs, and a copy of Shadow of the Wind rested on the kitchen counter while she cooked lunch. Frank Sinatra played on the old record player in the living room and the music continued to stretch around the house as we ate together. Luckily, her birthday party was keeping her busy; busy enough that she didn't remember to ask me about the dinner from last night.
Truth be told: I'm a terrible liar. I would never be able to escape her questions.
At the end of the day, I met Rocco for a workout, in a nearby gym. He was waiting for me, leaning against the reception counter, teal Puma t-shirt paired with an amused smirk; I knew he was more than ready to put me through my paces. And I was right. It only took me a couple of exercises to lay on the floor, panting and sweating."Have you thought about what you're doing next season?" I looked up, in the direction of the voice. Rocco was standing in front of me, holding my water bottle.
I sat up straight and extended my hand to grab it. "Not yet," the water was cold and refreshing. Just what I needed. "Maybe a third year in the Challenge and," I paused to breathe. "You know, the reserve seat. Not ideal, but yeah."
He frowned, sitting down on one of the plyo boxes near me. "But yeah?"
"Yeah. Works." I answered, laying back down on the green turf. The small fake grass ticklish on my legs and arms. "Not much, but it's racing."
"I think I'll pretend you didn't say that."
"Why? It's just how it is."
He cleared his throat, the deep sound making me open my eyes and stare at him again. "Up," he commanded, refusing to help me get up. I brought the hand I'd just held up to the floor, to help me get up.
"I thought we were done," I said. He didn't even need to say anything to make me understand that we were, in fact, not done. "Are you mad?"
“Annoyed,” he turned back to me. “What the heck was that answer? Of course, a third year in the Challenge and a reserve seat in WEC are not ideal. I was hoping for a real answer, not some… whatever that was.”
“It’s the reality,” I shrugged. Instead of turning back and going back to do whatever he was about to do, he just kept looking at me. Not the conversation I was hoping for today.
“You had a plan. What happened?” He asked.
“Nothing happened. I had a plan. And it’s going as it’s possible.”
"Excuses, Eva," Rocco exclaimed. He stepped forward and looked me in the eye. "You have a plan. You know what you want. And you have the talent."
“Congrats, you just solved gender inequality.” I gave him an ironic thumbs up, my mind still scrambled from the efforts of the workout and the encounter from last night. This kind of conversation was not what I wanted.
“You’re more than capable of getting a decent seat next year.”
“As we know,” I wiggled my finger between both of us, “It’s a tough path. Being capable won’t get me a seat. ”
“Locking yourself in an office keeping track of TikTok trends will?” I sent him a look. He held up his hands in defence. “You’re making excuses. There are other drivers fighting for the same things as you are and they are not taking no for an answer.”
“Neither am I.”
"Come on," he chortled, eying me carefully. I could tell that he wanted the best for me, but I was not really in the mood to discuss this at the moment. "When was the last time you actually planned something for yourself, and not just some new fashion designer or boujie vegan chef?"
I felt a little bit of annoyance creeping its way up my spine. I had been pushing myself so hard for the last few months, and I was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with all the pressure.
“Can we focus on the races I have left to win?” I asked, my voice taking on an exasperated tone. “We can talk about this after I win this championship?”
“Sure.” He bent down to grab a 15 kg power bag from the floor and dropped it off at my feet. "This wasn't planned, but that self-pity is annoying me."
“A punishment?" I took my hands to my hips, a light chortle abandoning my lips. "Burpees and never-ending lounges? That's what you think I need right now?"
"No, no burpees," he said, his grin widening. "But maybe a few extra lounges wouldn't hurt." He was clearly enjoying this. I rolled my eyes and glanced down at the power bag in front of me.
“It was not—”
He cleared his throat, cutting me off, and I went silent. Then, looking at him, I saw that he was grinning at me once again, content. Yeah, it was self-pity. Yeah, the future is scary, especially when you’re a 25-year-old woman in motorsports and your career seems to be stuck.
I took a deep breath and bent over to pick up the bag, the cold weight of it dragging my body down to the ground. Rocco took a few steps back and then motioned me with his head to start.
"Andiamo," he said. “20 steps back and forth. Three series.”
So I did. I started lounging with the bag, back and forth across the green patch of turf on that side of the gym, trying to keep a steady pace. With each step, the pressure of the bag weighed me down. I kept going, pushing forward and gritting my teeth against the pain. When I finally reached the twentieth step, I dropped the bag and breathed out, my body aching from the effort.
By the end of the third series, I had pushed my body to its very limits and back. I sunk down onto the cool grass beneath me, feeling the relief of the softness beneath me—my muscles aching and my body dripping with sweat, my hair matted to my neck and temples.
Rocco sat near me, guiding me through a couple of moves, helping me to loosen my tight muscles and stretch out my body. Despite the big (and somewhat threatening) muscles he had a gentle touch.
“What’s on your mind?”
"Hm?" I frowned, my eyebrows furrowing together as I closed my eyes, feeling his hand pressing down on my thigh, pushing it firmly against the hard floor. I could feel the pain radiating through my body, but I tried to focus on the sensation of his grip.
“You always complain this hurts,” he said. I opened one eye. Now, I could feel the pressure from his grip. Probably something shifted on my face because he instantly asked, “Now it hurts?”
"It hurt before, I was just distracted." I shook my head, closing my eyes again and focusing on the sensation of his grip. “I’m free to feel like shit when things go badly." I let out.
“Things are not going badly,” he sighed, leaving my leg and switching to the other. “You’re simply letting yourself fall behind.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, my head falling back against the floor. I stayed there for a few moments, my heart pounding against my chest and my thoughts racing a million miles per hour. When I finally opened my eyes again, I looked up at Rocco, this time because I felt my thigh burning with discomfort, he was still looking at me, waiting for an answer.
"Too much." I glanced below while patting his arm. He raised an eyebrow, implying more pressure. "Ei!" I scrunched my nose. He just arched a brow. Sadistic fucker. “What? Are you going to hurt me until I hold someone at gunpoint and ask for a seat?”
“You talk like you don’t have good offers, Eva.”
“What is a good offer? Driving against 19-year-old boys in Formula 3? It’s humiliating.”
“W Series?” He suggested.
“I want to race with men and show people I can win against them.” I sat down. Rocco took his hands from my legs. My muscles tingled with the same intensity my thoughts did. “I like the Challenge because I’m showing them I can do it. But the team does not have a budget to race in other series. And I can’t be a reserve forever. So I can do another year and hope things change.”
“See? You’re choosing to fall behind.” He took a deep breath, understanding my frustration. "You can always look for sponsorship," he said, his eyes focused on the floor. "You have the talent, the connections—"
“I spent my teenage years sending letters and desperately trying to talk to people. You saw how that went.”
“You have results to show them, now. In two weeks you’ll have a championship.” I dragged my hands over my face. Instant regret. Both my hands and face were tingling with the same intensity my thoughts did. “W Series will give you exposure. Will give you points. You need points..”
“Why are you so interested now?” I arched an eyebrow, feeling a bit suspicious. “The year is long. Anything can happen. A lot can change.”
“I just don’t see you planning ahead.” He deadpanned, his expression unreadable. “What if you can’t do another season of the Challenge? Will you be content with just being a reserve in WEC?”
“Why so many ifs?” I asked, still feeling a bit apprehensive.
“Motorsports are unpredictable,” he replied, his voice steady and sure. “I’ve been around long enough to know that. And I’m your coach, not just a trainer. It’s kinda my responsibility to do this.”
“Nah, I’m not having it.” I paused, still not entirely convinced. “Do you know something I don’t?”
Rocco just shook his head. The dark strands of his hair moved in unison. “Eva—” He shrugged. I could see the wheels turning in his mind. Whatever he was about to say, it seemed like it wasn't completely true. "One," he continued; his tone shifting. "I don't want to be left without a job when you get bored of racing." I threw my towel at him, though I knew he was only joking. Unfortunately, he dodged it. "Two," he continued, "you're racing like a pro. You should race with the pros."
At least, in one thing he was right. I was racing like a pro.
On the other hand, I was not acting like one.
My team and my dad, the main sponsor, were the only support I had. Despite having other offers, none met our expectations. I had been a third, fourth, or fifth driver for too long. I had spent too much time in the garage, running simulations, and taking part in test sessions. Years of it. Each of these experiences had demoralized me.
Racing in the Challenge, learning with my team, taking time to understand the car and driving it to a podium made sense to me. Standing in the garage and hoping for someone to get food poisoning or COVID was not only morally wrong but also quite dull.
“Did you make this whole drama when Rio told you he wanted to stop racing and just go to college and become an engineer?” I asked, getting up from the floor and picking up my towel, still lying on the ground.
“It was worse actually,” my trainer said, following me. “I think I almost killed him when he told me.”
“We make quite the pair, don’t we?”
He smiled and nodded. “Yes, you do. Your poor father has his hands full with you two.” We stopped walking when we reached the locker room. “Go have a shower and get some rest.”
The second I reached my locker and opened the wooden door, I reached for my phone, looking for a message that hadn't arrived. Pathetic. A part of me considered taking the initiative and being the one to call or text him but, to be honest, what was left for me to say?
I had already told him everything by asking him not to kiss me and I might have told him even more by refusing to let go of him.
The office smelled of churros, so I knew Amanda was around. Either that or someone else had the same idea as her.
Familiar faces smiled back at me as I crossed the corridors and the work areas until I finally reached the common area and took one of the available seats. Since I had chosen to work remotely, and only visited the office casually for occasional meetings or when I needed a place where I could focus, I wasn't given an office.
The room was filled with the buzz of people chatting and the occasional laughter, making me feel a bit out of place. I knew most of them (read: I knew their names and which projects were under their purview), but rarely talked to any of them. Amanda, one of my friends from college, and the one who had introduced me to this agency was the only one I regularly talked with.
I sat down in my chair and pulled my laptop out of my bag. After talking with Rocco yesterday, I decided to take action on my career and spent last night looking at emails and reading my dad's notes on the sides of those he considered important enough to print. So, when I opened my laptop, my screen showed me my Notion board, which honestly felt like a showcase of my own failures. Not the first thing I wanted to see that morning.
A knock on the glass divider of the office made me lift my head up and find Amanda on the other side of it. A beautiful purple jumper highlighted her beautiful curves; her hair was pulled up in a ponytail. In her hands, a white box.
I waved at her.
“Vamos,” she motioned with her head. “Before anyone tries to steal these from me.”
I smiled and grabbed my laptop, zipping it up before getting up and walking towards her. “You know I have an important weekend ahead, right?”
She laughed, opening the box. “A churro won't weigh you down, don't worry.”
I took one of them and walked near her to the cafeteria. The morning light was soft, and the day was not too warm. Ideal to sit on the balcony and talk for a while. So, that's what we did. I grabbed coffee for both, while she walked outside.
The sunshine on my skin was just a slight warmth as I leaned on my chair, and the smooth breeze of the morning cooled off my skin. Traffic sounds in the background, the ruffle of chairs and the occasional bark of one of the dogs playing on the balcony of the start-up that shares the building with us.
While having a sip of her coffee, I noticed Amanda's eyes widening, and I could practically see the bell ringing in her mind. Instantly, my brows were drawn together. Brace yourself, Eva.
"So, I heard on Twitter dot com…" I rolled my eyes at the last part, and despite provoking a small chuckle from her, she didn't stop talking and her gaze still remained twinkling mischievously. "Carlos was in Mugello last weekend."
Oh, for fucks sake.
"If that's what Twitter says, it must be true."
"Yes. So," she paused. Her head tilted slightly, honestly looking like a pup who saw a threat in the distance. "Did you two talk?"
I shook my head; my fingers busy on the handle of my mug, desperately trying to seem unbothered by the question. "Nah, we didn't talk."
"You sure?" She asked, her eyebrows raised in suspicion.
"Yes, I'm sure," I said, my voice steady. "It's not like we're friends or anything."
"That's too bad," she murmured, a hint of disbelief in her voice. "It's not like Carlos and your brother are still like, the best of friends and maybe— maybe he went there to visit him and you end up talking?"
I sighed. "Stop it."“You're a terrible liar, Eva.” Amanda said bluntly, her gaze intense.
“Amanda,” I said, my voice stern and my eyes piercing. "Stop it."
“So, you talked.” Amanda gave me a knowing look. "I knew it. I saw those tweets and I realised we had barely talked this week, and that only happens when you're too busy overthinking. And then boom, I woke up to dozens of notes made at 2 am? You always go to bed early." She crossed her arms, her gaze still intense. "Come on, just tell me what happened. If it’s not him, it’s anything else. That worries me too. I'm here for you, no judgement."
I sighed. "Fine," I said, setting my mug down and leaning back on the chair. "We talked. A lot. We actually had dinner."
Amanda's gaze softened, but then she frowned again. “Dinner? The three of you?”
“The two of us.”
"Just the two of you?" Amanda's eyes widened in surprise, lips smiling brightly. I nodded to her question. "What did you talk about?"
A part of me wanted to end it there. The other part of me needed some guidance. And Amanda was a friend, she always had good advice. On the downside, she loved to gossip. But we were friends. Guidance. But gossip.
I shrugged. “Just normal things. Racing.”
“Okaaaay, that’s good.” At this point, her lips were curving up like she was the one having dinner with him. I couldn’t decide if her reaction annoyed me or made me happy. "So, what now? Are you going to keep in contact with him?"
I shook my head. "I don't think the dinner changed anything.” Liar.
“Eva,” she propped her elbows on the table. “You’re a terrible liar. Spit it out. What happened? If you don’t want to talk about it, tell me that. Just don’t lie.”
Talking about it would make a big deal. A bigger deal, actually. I dragged my hands over my face, tired and confused. Thinking about it was challenging enough and I truly didn't want to transform all my confusion and emotions into words. Amanda, on the other hand, couldn't hide the fact that she wanted the truth, her gaze so strong it almost made me melt over the iron (and obnoxiously red) chair I was sitting on.
So I told her. Every single detail. From the glorious vision of him under the bright lights of my garage, which for a second made me feel like I was living in an alternate world, through the call at dawn, to his gauze under the beautiful sunset glow. His warm, velvety lips brushing against mine. I told her about the “I think I might have loved you, too”, and the way that even in my dreams I couldn’t seem to forget his scent when he hugged me goodbye.
I felt so exposed, so vulnerable, as I spilled my heart out onto that small table, and when I finished all I could hear was the sound of her sigh. A ridiculous rom-com kind of sigh.
“I just feel like we messed it up because of pure desperation,” I said, crossing one leg over the other and looking around. “He messed it up. I think we just missed each other so much we… I don’t know. Got confused on the feelings?”
“He messed up?”
“I didn’t kiss him back. I just asked him to please, don’t.” It was more ridiculous saying it out loud now than when I recalled the moment in my mind.
“You’re even stupider than I thought,” was her answer. I arched my brow. “The guy cooked for you, at his place, told you he “thinks he loved you too” and tries to kiss you and now you’re mad because he didn’t text you?” She paused. “What the hell will he say? Of course, he won’t text you. What would you say to someone after being denied a kiss? Text him yourself.”
“No.”
“Why not?” Why not? I asked myself the same question. Because I can’t trust him to stay. Better, because I can’t trust him to not leave. “Don’t be stubborn, come on. Just by looking at you, I know you’re dying to get that kiss.”
“Can’t we go back inside and talk about work?”
“Oh, no, missy.” She shook her head. “Those AB tests can wait. I want to talk about you and how you’re so dumb you might lose the chance of your life.”
“You’re exaggerating. As always.”
“Eva.” She was stern, her eyes burning on me. “He was your best friend. At least try to mend that friendship. Even if you don’t want anything else. Whatever the reason.”
I sighed, bowing my head in defeat. Amanda had a way of making me see sense, even when I didn't want to. "And if I can’t see him as a friend but still can’t give a step in the other direction?”
“Then, you give it time. Just don’t give it too much space.” She got up from her chair. Mug on one hand. The empty white box on the other. “Remember how that worked up last time.”
Fact one about Amanda: she was probably the most curious person I knew. Any arguments in the office, celebrity rumours or gossip of literally any kind she knew by heart, down to the last detail. And while that was remotely irritating, especially at exhausting times, like during Amber and Johnny’s trial, or when (especially when) the news broke about Pique and Shakira's divorce, it could also be a blessing. At least from my point of view. Perhaps all the stories contributed to her having a broader view of relationships and, as a result, being so good at giving advice. Fact two: there was no one more insistent than her, so, evidently, she couldn’t leave the office without reminding me to text him.
It was 5 pm, and I was utterly absorbed in the presentation for the new restaurant. I was head down, consumed by the details of culinary and marketing analytics, and, to tell the truth, my mind was so focused on this project that I couldn't really think of anything else.
Amanda was getting ready to leave. Jacquemus purse over her shoulder and a strong pink lipstick on the place where a less saturated one had been during the day.
“You stay?” She asked me.
“Aham,” I briefly made my eyes leave the screen to look at her. “I need to finish this. Next week I’ll be too busy.”
“You leaving for Italy on Monday?”
“Tuesday,” I corrected her, my eyes going back down to the laptop. “Don’t want to leave this to the last minute.”
“Okay. I’ll try to have a look at it before you leave. Also,” my eyes went up again. “Send the man a good luck text.”
I sighed, rolling my eyes at her. "He doesn't need my luck text.”
Amanda nodded, her eyes still twinkling mischievously. "Okay, send him a whatever text, then. An emoji. Like his Instagram story.”
“I’m afraid liking his story won’t work.” I leaned back on her office chair, which I had taken in the middle of the day when she needed to leave for a meeting and left me to use her small office.
“Text him, then. Anything. I wouldn’t let Carlos Sainz escape, but you do you, babes,” she shrugged, turning her back to me to walk to the door.“Enjoy the weekend. Besos!”
“Bye!”
I didn’t text him. Of course. In the same way, she was insistent, I was stubborn.
Actually, let me rephrase it.
I didn’t text him then.
Mid-afternoon, Rio had called inviting me to dinner, and when I asked about the kids, he told me he had booked a nanny, so they would stay home. It was either business or pleasure. I didn't need to ask; as soon as he mentioned my dad was invited, I knew we'd be discussing business. And after Rocco's worries last night, I knew it was partly my business, too.
My nerves were on edge as I prepared to leave the office. They only worsened as I neared the restaurant - a way too fancy place for a Friday dinner with the family.
Crossing the sidewalk, my heels clacking on the cement, my head spinning from the long hours in front of my laptop, and the anxiety building in my chest, I looked inside. My dad was seated at the end of the table, with an empty seat to his right - the seat I was supposed to take. Marjorie was already waving at me. Smiling politely to the man standing at the door, I said, "They're waiting for me." He nodded and let me enter.
My eyes drifted to their table, and I allowed myself a few seconds to study the mood. They were laughing, but my palms were still sweating as I settled in for what would surely be an uncomfortable conversation.
"Sorry, traffic," I said, punctuating my apology with a kiss on each of my parents' cheeks. "Am I too late?"
"No, no," my dad said, his voice warm and comforting. "Your brother was about to tell me something, but you just distracted him. Go ahead, Fabrizio."
I turned to him, curious.
"I'm sure we can wait a bit more. Just... after the food," he said.
"Why are you so nervous?" Marjorie asked, her violet fingernails softly laying over his arm in a gentle caress. "It's something good," she said to me. "Don't worry."
"Are you pregnant again?" my mom asked.
"No! No, no!" my sister-in-law responded quickly, her voice almost echoing in the room. Even Rio seemed surprised by her rapid response. "It's Rio's news. Not mine."
“After the food, then,” my father said.
“I hate it when I do that,” I muttered to my brother, grabbing the menu from the table and letting my eyes drift through the print. “You haven’t ordered yet, right?”
My dad shook his head. "We were waiting for you.”
I glanced at the menu one last time before setting it back down. My dad's hand called for a waiter and, after the young man left, the conversation resumed. As usual before any Grand Prix, the race weekend was the matter on the table and, that night specifically, Carlos' penalty was the urgent matter. Ferrari had the pace and Carlos had the skill, but as I sat there, hearing my brother and dad's input on how wise the choice had or hadn't been, my attention diverged to the DNF he had suffered in Austria, less than two weeks ago. Vivid images of the flames engulfing the car, the heartbreaking words on the radio, and the cheers that echoed through the crowd as his teammate stepped onto the top step filled my mind.
One feeling the glory, the other one consumed in ruin.
“Good luck out there this weekend.” "Don’t pull another Austria. That one was scary.”
Done. I’d texted him. For better or for worse, it was done. And I didn’t have time to put the phone back in the purse before it vibrated again in my hand.
“Thank you. I really need it.”
I checked the time.
“Shouldn’t you be resting?”
“I’m resting." "Listening to my teammate rant about food, but resting.”
“Why? Did you tell him about the cheese-less pasta you tried to feed me?” “If I expect Leclerc to teach you something is how to cook pasta."
"He’s a terrible cooker.” “I’m better learning it from you.”
"I’ll be sure to give you a lesson someday."
"I'll hold you to that."
  "What are you smiling about?" Marjorie asked, my attention immediately being grabbed from my screen to the table.
"Nothing, sorry," I said quickly, tucking my phone back into my purse. "Amanda just texted me about the work I was finishing.”
"Ah, Eva, if you put that effort into racing…" he said, as the waiter came back with our food. I tried to ignore him, especially because there was no use fighting back his comment.
Even with the food on the table and the anticipation to find out about Rio’s news tugging on my chest, the conversation didn’t go further from Formula 1. My dad, a lifelong Italian Ferrari fan and a very biased Carlos supporter was ranting over the lack of professionalism he was sensing from the team and how the choices they repeatedly made ruined not only the drivers but the prestige of the team. Nothing new. Rio and I have been listening to the same tirade for a long couple of years and nothing seemed to change, even after the amazing start to the season the team had.
“I had my reservations at first, but you could be a nice fit for the team, actually”, my dad said, pointing at Rio, with the knife he was using to cut his steak. Rio looked confused at him, and then, at me. “Have they given you an answer?”
What?
For a moment, I felt like I’d fallen on a different table, a completely different conversation. My gaze shifted from one to the other, confused by my father’s question.
“Who’s they?” I asked. Marjorie was biting her lip; her violet fingertips on my brother’s arm, once again.
“Ferrari,” my father responded, clearly stepping over my brother’s feet. Rio seemed bothered; clenched jaw, restless fingers that Marjorie tried to calm by positioning hers over. “Are those the news?” He asked him.
Rio nodded, his jaw unclenching and his lips transforming to a slight grin. "Yep. They offered me a job." He looked around the table, his gaze caught mine for a second but quickly left again. “I need to let them know my decision until Monza.”
“You applied for a job at Ferrari?” I asked. Honestly, I was so confused I couldn’t piece all the things together. “We’re doing so good at the Challenge, you could have waited for just one m—”
“Eva.” My dad interrupted me. The strong stern voice pulled my attention. The authority value of his words over the sweet comforting voice of the beginning of the dinner. The mood had definitely shifted “Wait? You’re the one that’s always urging the team to aim for higher heights.”
"Exactly. The team won't do that without Rio."
"But your brother will. And so will you." I tried to interject but with no success. He continued before I even had the chance to talk. "You can't possibly think your brother would stay with the team knowing he could have this huge opportunity."
"I didn't know about any opportunity." I was replying to my father, but my eyes were directed to Rio. "What about the team? And the Challenge?" I inquired.
"In less than two weeks, the championship will be over. I have no doubts you will win it. You're just losing time there," my father's tone was bothering me, but the fact that he was still cutting his steak as he talked was really aggravating my temper.
Rio, on the other hand, didn't react. His expression didn't even shift. He remained silent, eyes shifting between mine and dad's face. In his silence, though, he was telling me much more than he thought.
"This is not a formality," I said to my father. "Can you please look at me while you talk about our future?"
Finally, he put down his cutlery and remained silent for a few seconds. Deep blue eyes looked up at me, cold and serious.
"There's no future for you if you're afraid to take a serious step," he said finally. "I won't let your brother get stuck in the Challenge when I know he can do so much more. I won't let you make him fall behind because of you."
"Because of me?"
"Why else would he stay at the Challenge?" I stayed silent, feeling my fake sense of confidence being stripped away with the weight of my dad's question. The answer that my conscience gave me was selfish and I refused to say it out loud. I was afraid of staying alone, rather, I was afraid to see Rio flying solo in the higher aims I ambitioned for me and not being able to carry along. Only if he waited, we could jump up together. "Why would he choose anything less than Formula One?"
"So, you have it decided, then?" I asked Rio. "How did that even happen?"
His tongue crept in between his lips, eyes wandering on my face, afraid to reach my eyes. It was making me nervous. Not just because he was about to leave me, but because he didn't tell me about it, prior. My dad knew about it. He even thought that I knew about it. And like a lightning bulb lighting up on my head: Rocco knew it, too.
"It was proposed to me. The job. At Silverstone, a few weeks ago." Even though Rio was stuttering, and his words barely constructed a sentence, piece by piece it all fell together. "Apparently, Carlos talked to someone about you. About the Challenge. And he mentioned me, my results..." he explained. "Carlos invited me there for the Grand Prix and surprised me with an interview."
Why didn't it surprise me? Carlos. The “right time”, of course.
"Your results? Why hide this from me?” I asked, looking around the table. “Clearly, everyone else knows.”
“I wanted to tell you, but didn’t get the chance to do it.”
“But what?” I asked, half defeated, half annoyed. Angry, even. There was so much going on inside me, I couldn’t think straight. “You just said you had the interview in Silverstone. Weeks ago. You had plenty of opportunities.”
“I knew you would snap and react like this,” Rio tried to justify himself.
“Snap? I’m not—” I paused and took a deep breath. At this point, I was seething with anger. “I’m asking questions. I’m not… snapping.”
“You should be happy for me,” I would if I didn’t feel betrayed. “I know you well enough to know that you would react… badly to the news. Especially if you knew Carlos was involved**.**”
Even though his name was blinking on my head, in bold red letters, I tried to set apart his involvement in this story. So, I carried on,
“And you’re just going to do it? Leave the team, the whole project and ditch us? Without even consulting me?”
He shrugged. “I’m consulting you now.”
“This is not a consultation, Rio. Please.” A pause. “This is you telling me what you’re going to do, without even considering my opinion or the team that’s behind your great results.”
“Go ahead.” He made a gesture with his hand. “What’s your opinion, then? You are the one that’s always telling me to aim higher. This is my dream. Always has been.”
“What? Formula One? I thought your dream was to drive in Formula One. Or was that before you noticed you’re a shitty driver? Enlighten me.”
“Eva, enough,” the deep voice cut me off.
I felt like I was going to burst. I wanted to scream, to cry, to express my anger somehow. But my dad's stern gaze kept me in my place. I felt completely helpless and unheard.
“You’re being ridiculous,” said Rio, cutting through the silence. “Childish, even. Ungrateful.”
“Ungrateful? I’m not the one leaving.”
“Why does leaving need to be bad?” The question settled in for a second. “Grow a bit, and maybe you’ll get some good opportunities too.”
“Sure, maybe then my friends will get me jobs, too. Is that what you mean?”
“Enough.” My dad's fist hit the table, loud enough to silence us, but not to the point of attracting too much attention.
My gaze lingered on his clenched fist on the table. I nodded, forcing myself not to say anything else. I placed my napkin on the table and got up, making sure my chair wouldn’t make any noise when pushed back. Before turning around, I paused briefly, my gaze now resting on my brother. “Good luck with your new job.”
  *
  It didn't surprise me when I saw Carlos fly through the track the next day, setting amazing times in the qualifying session, despite the penalty waiting for him for the race. He was dancing with the car, tracing beautiful lines within the colourful ones Paul Ricard was known for. Carlos would start P19 the next day, only ahead of Magnussen, who also had a back-of-the-grid penalty.
I traded the interviews for a dip in the pool and lingered there for the remainder of the afternoon. Perhaps because I was not the best person to have around that day, my parents had left just before lunch and didn't get back until after dinner. Alone, with music echoing throughout the house and the crippling anxiety the events that week had provoked, I felt myself get lost in the doubts and uncertainties.
My phone rang when I was already getting ready for bed. On my nightstand, the name Carlos appeared over an old photo of both of us. Like I couldn't control it, I walked to the phone and sat on the bed. I let it ring a few times before picking it up.
“Hi,” he said. I just looked through the window, to the dark backyard. “No good luck text today?”
“Guess not.”
“And why's that?”
“Did you know Rio had an interview to work at Ferrari?”
“Yes...?” He paused. “Is that a problem?”
“Did you know he got a job offer?”
We both fell into a moment of silence. A long sigh stretched through the line. I closed my eyes, not sure what to expect from the conversation. The next time his voice was heard, it was more serious.
"Can we stop asking questions instead of answering them?"
"The timing is funny," I said. "Just that."
"What do you mean?"
"You coming to Mugello? Was that a coincidence?"
"Eva, what?" Carlos was silent for a few seconds. "Don't make this into a drama," he said. "Rio is talented and if he got a job offer it's because he earned it. The things are not remotely related."
"I'm not complaining about him getting the job."
"Then what are you complaining about?" Carlos asked.
"That it took you years to finally come back and talk to me and it happened just when he got a job in your team. Did you really want to talk to me or did he make you do that?"
"I didn't do it for him," Carlos said. "I did it because I wanted to see you."
"I wish I could believe you."
"And why don't you?"
"It's been three years. Coincidences don't just happen."
I could hear him breathe. Silence weighed down my chest. He wasn't denying it. He wasn't telling me why he was there, that night. "Can I see you this week?" He asked me, before a long sigh.
"No."
"I'll be in Maranello for a few days." I bit my lip, shaking my head to the void. "You'll be in Imola, right? I can go there—"
"I don't want to see you." I talked over him and then paused for a brief second. "Don't show up there, please. It's an important week and I don't really need more distractions."
“Eva, por favor.”
“Good luck tomorrow.”
I put my phone away and let myself sink into the bed, feeling nothing but the warmth of the comforters on my skin and the instant sense of security that came over me. I allowed my eyes to close and my mind to drift away, and before I knew it, a prayer for Carlos came into my thoughts.
I prayed for strength for both him and me, for us. I knew that, whether we were on or off the track, we would need to find a way to get through whatever was to come.
Next Chapter: 04.
Thank you for your support in the previous chapter! Carlos will become a more present character in the future. Pinky promise. Don't abandon me until that happens, please! <3
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blackghostm2o ¡ 1 month ago
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Lil stupid story time . Pfft, hahaah. (Plus ramblings about the series itself)
So… My fried and I were trying to watch And “Then there were none” or “10 little Indians” she remember watching a rather new movie about it (probably 2017/2018) but we couldn’t find it neither in Italian nor in English (even tho now that I think about it, at least me, it could have been confused this with “Murder at the Oriental Express” which actually came out in 2017).
And, a bit desperate, I was: “Do you know any actors? We could look up their name and we could search it between their movies.” She clearly didn’t (understandable) and was looking at the cast of the 2015 BBC miniseries and slowly read “Charles Dance”. And I repeated the name and then it clicked, the actor that was Erik in the 1990 miniseries! So I was “CHARLES DANCE!?!? YOOOOO!!! I wanted to see something else in which he was in!” And now I was much more eager to see this version of it, heh.
THIS MINISERIES IS REALLY GOOD THO, you should check it out.
SPOILERS AHEAD (I need to yap about this a lil). BIG YAPPING SESSION, BEWARE.
The miniseries has 3 episodes, each 1 h long.
I haven’t read the novel (my friend did) and the only thing that I know is that everyone dies (I asked her), but not who’s the killer.
I love how right from the start there’s this atmosphere of uneasiness: the place is gloomy, the music is ominous, the guests seem to barely tolerate each other (which is true) and the circumstances of how they where invited are a bit strange. Also really like how you see all the characters slowly going mad (some more than others), abandoning all their nice facades and giving in to their more unpleasant characteristics, also slowly accepting what they did and confessing to it (not everyone obviously, but the endgame people sure do)
Basically the 10 people here are all guilty of something (the 10 lil Indians or soliders) and get killed based on a nursery rhyme, by the same name, tho some actions are more dire than others and the order of the killings are based on that (my friend made me notice that).
The ten little soldiers and how they are killed (not in order):
- Mr and Mrs Rogers: the keepers of the house. He killed a wealthy woman in her sleep (basically pulled a James Sunderland) and his wife didn’t denounce it. The man got slaughtered with an axe (foreshadowed by a long sghot (?) of the axe) (chopped himself in a half”) and the woman killed in her sleep (probably with the pillow) (“overslept himself”)
- General MacArthur: General during WWI. He discovered that his wife had an affair with a good friend of his so he shot him in the head and… Yk… He was counted as a victim of the battlefield. Well… His wife died shortly afterwards, because of the Spanish flu so it was all useless. Gets his head cracked open outside the house. (Stayed in Devon).
- Dr. Armstrong: a doctor who was specialised in female neurosis (how lovely), he obviously was a fucking misogynist. He failed (really badly) a surgery… Probably was too drunk for it? He is shown drinking to alleviate the shaking of his hands, so probably did the same in that occasion. Medical malpractice, yay! I really find it amusing how the was one of the first ones to loose his marbles… He really went crazy and paranoid, didn’t trust Philip and especially Vera (they heated each other’s guts a lot, making jabs at each other right from the start). He was the most fragile of the guests and the most unbalanced, really ironic considering how he treated people with neurosis. Found outside near the coast all wet and with seaweed on him, probably drowned. (“A Red herring swallowed one”)
- Anthony Marston: the first to die. Your average rich young man that could do whatever the fuck he wanted with daddy’s money. Was obsessed with cars (he treated his own like his wife, my god). Always speeding, run over 2 children, says that it was their parents fault, because they have let the children out at night (it was in the countryside and they had some lamps). This mf, who doesn’t feel guilty, only got his license revoked for 6 months, no jail time no nothing… Really annoying mf, used to take “stimulants” (drugs, but our good gentlemen obviously cannot use that rude and unstylish word). Killed with Cyanide (“chocked himself”).
- William Blore: a pig (policeman). As pigs do, he has beaten a criminal to death, he should have let him go, but didn’t do it. One of the last standing ones, he breaks down when left with Philip and Vera and confesses, he also reached the deeper end and was “What if we are all already dead and this is just Hell?”. Him talking about his lil piece of land, gives him some humanity and makes us almost feel bad for him. Stabbed to death (“A bear hugged one”)
- Emily Brent: I’m a bit confused about her character… She’s into those teaching circles, about what a good woman should do and whatnot and had taken a girl “under her wing” to teach her… My confusion comes from here… There’s a scene in which she is sucking the bleeding finger of the girl, so sexual tension… Does that mean the she SA the poor girl and then abandoned her when she wanted to tell everything? Then the girl threw herself under a train… She got stubbed at the neck with a crochet hook (“A bumblebee stung one”)
- Philip Lombard: a mercenary, killed 21 men for some diamonds (your average white colonialist). In his case I was pretty sure that he wasn’t the killer, it would have been too obvious, he is the only one that immediately admits his crime. He is a sick mf for what he has done, but he is in peace with himself, really nonchalant about it. He gets shoot by Vera Claythorne (multiple times), because she didn’t trust him, as I said he was the obvious choice (a gun for hire, man with no morals) and the “only other left” besides her. (“Frizzled up”)
- Vera Claythorne: a secretary. So… The series wants you to believe that she’s the one last standing, there are many shots in which she is seen with a noose (like at the start when she was in the train) or something related (the hook on the ceiling)… So you are like: “Everyone has to die, so she’s killing everyone and then herself.” Tho towards the end Bill gets killed and she is following (not closely) Philip and this throws you off a lil bit: “It couldn’t have been her. Are they just killing each other, because they cannot trust anyone???”. It is shown her true story, how she wanted to kill Cybill so Hugo could get rich and then live a happy life with Vera (what a bitch… Poor child) and this leaves you a bit shocked (a pretty big twist, am I right?), because throughout the whole thing she seems the more guilty ridden of everyone so you don’t expect that shit. She goes to hang herself (obviously). (“He went out and hanged himself”).
NOW THERE’S THE REAL BIG PLOT TWIST! SPOILER!!!
You might say “Hey! What about the 10th person?” LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT MF, MY FRIEND.
THE REAL LAST PERSON IS THE JUDGE LAWRENCE WARGRAVE!… (Charles Dance, btw)
This man was a judge and was really well known for the fact that he watched every hanging of the people he sentenced to death, so we are lead to think that this is another sick fuck that enjoys this shit. His crime is convicting a dude (don’t remember his name) who apparently was a serial killer, but the way this is shown and the fact that he refused the hood makes us think that in reality he was innocent. While watching this I wasn’t really convinced by his mannerisms… He was too calm, too collected for that situation, everyone was going mad (even Philip) and it is mentioned that he had cancer (tho HE tells us that he was able to get rid of it)… So I obviously was: “Ok… It has to be him, he doesn’t have anything to loose, probably the cancer will come again and is TOO collected. I don’t trust this mf.” But then HE GETS SHOT TO THE HEAD!!! So obviously we all are: “Oh… So it wasn’t him… He’s dead… Huh.” And you are still left to wonder who is the killer. The thing is , AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS, HE IS NOT DEAD!!!! HE MADE AN ALLIANCE WITH THE DOCTOR (who was too paranoid of the others and already had shown trust to the judge “we are both fine and intelligent men, not like these other people”) TO FAKE HIS DEATH WITH SOME LIVER AND OTHER ORGANS (previously shown missing in the fridge). THE DR CHECKED AND PRONOUNCED HIM DEAD AND EVERYONE BELIEVED HIM. Those 2 met outside at night and Wargrave killed Armstrong…
The scene in which he appears made me loose my shit: we have Vera trying to hang herself and then we hear rustling and THE FUCKING JUDGE OPENS THE DOOR!!!! Then they talk, she is slowly dying of asphyxiation because she lost her balance on the chair and is barely touching it and begging Wargrave to help her and to give the blame to Philip. After calmly sitting next to her he starts listening to her (while watching her dying) and hen explains everything and how that specific hanging (of the serial killer, who, btw, was NOT INNOCENT) made him realise how similar they were, tho the dude killed innocents and he only guilty people. He also says that the cancer was spreading (so he really had nothing to loose). Listens to Vera’s pleads for help in such a cold way, probably used to it and most likely finding her revolting (for what she did and for how quickly she wanted to betray Philip, they had sex the previous night and were being together a lot). He’s also pretty sassy here, because she was asking why and he was “I have a strong sense of duty (he explained previously in the 3rd ep to the remaining people.) I thought that I made that clear.” She was also saying that he couldn’t kill himself because the gun was empty so to help her, then he shows one bullet “You forgot the bullet that killed me” and gets up AND NONCHALANTLY TAKES HER CHAIR AND GOES AWAY AFTER CLOSING THE DOOR.
The last scene is him going to the dining room setting 2 glasses of wine and 2 tissues at the opposite ends of the ramble, cleans the gun and shoots himself and the gun slides to the opposite end of the table. He is smiling.
I loved this miniseries so fucking much, that’s why I’m blabbing about it. Oh, Wargrave’s character is fantastic. This is a very well written story, the tension… The uncertainty… The twists, I should try to read some of Agatha Christie’s novels.
The actors did a good job :)
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tranakin-skywalker ¡ 1 year ago
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ask for u: if anakin skywalker had a spotify what playlists wld he be making?
Oh this is a good one.
Well obviously he's got to have something for when he's doing anything machanical, be it working on droids or ships or whatnot. I imagine the music on it is very very loud. He does repair work to drown out everything else so I think the music he listens to would reflect that. Not sure what it would sound like aside from maybe very industrial. Maybe almost screamo, at least as far as the instraments are concerned. I don't think he likes listening to screaming vocals, tho the lyrics (if there are any, Anakin kind of pegs me as an instramental guy) are incomprehensible to most people.
He's got an almost identical playlist for lightsaber practice and katas. Anyone who listens to the two thinks they sound exactly the same, but Anakin insists that they're totally different.
If you can actually understand the vocals, you'd realize that all the songs on the machanical playlist are about rebuilding and hope and the like. The lyrics for the saber playlist is... a lot more depressing.
I cannot imagine him having a sex playlist of any sort but he absolutely has several for different romantic gestures toward Padme. He’s got one that's just Naboo wedding songs. When he gets home from a really bad campaign him and Padme will practice wedding dances in their bedroom, just to remind them that there will be an after and it will be a happy one.
He's got a playlist of songs that remind him of Padme to listen to when he misses her. It’s filled mostly of space Lana Del Ray, because Padme likes it even if Anakin isn't a huge fan himself.
All his playlists have incomprehensible titles that sound more like snippet of poems than anything else. You'd never be able to guess what the playlist is about based on what it's called, not in a million years.
Also I think Anakin likes the gffa version of k pop.
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