#most hilarious part of this exercise

[silviakundera]

BBC Merlin and Kinnporsche: My Thesis

Kinn/Arthur was raised as the heir of a powerful dynasty that is a dubiously moral leech on society (thai mob/british monarcy).

Near everyone wants him dead.

Porsche/Merlin is selected by King(pin) Daddy to be Kinn/Arthur's servant. Power dynamics make it very hard to say no.

At first Arthur/Kinn uses the power imbalance to be a raging asshole. He gets better. (ok Arthur struggles with this a bit longer)(but to be fair, outside of fic Arthur is also not getting frequent orgasms from his bodyguard manservant)

Porsche/Merlin never becomes great at his official bodyguard manservant job. Being a manservant wasn't his dream career, it's something that 'happened' to him. Stays disrespectful, sassy forever. A survivor who retains an assertive personality & won't bow by route to hierarchy.

Kinn/Arthur would obviously be happier and more well adjusted if he could abandon what he has been raised to see as his "birthright" and live like a normal commoner, but in canon it's too central to his identity for him to leave it all behind.

For Arthur/Kinn, part of pull of Merlin/Porsche is in how he demonstrates & encourages the possibility of embracing levity, unfiltered thought & body, personal expression even when living a life of duty. With Merlin/Porsche beside him, he can uphold his responsibilies but not have to coldly perform every aspect of his life. The prospect of trust & loyalty with someone whom you can be imperfect & impulsive with.

Merlin and Porsche ultimately get caught up in the cycle of violence inherent in the Pendragon/Theerapanyakun dynasty and end up with blood on their hands. After developing an emotional connection to the heir, they resign themselves to the practice of killing the enemies of the royal family.

Porsche/Merlin is Destined to be Arthur/Kinn's #2 - at end of arc, grows into being his "right hand" and most trusted person.

There is a whole segment of fanfic where Merlin/Porsche (1) never gets hooked into being a lacky of the mob/monarchy OR (2) he breaks away mid-canon to have a separate life away from serving the royal family.

Major flashback past reveal is about one of their moms, a secret King(pin) Daddy was keeping from them

Ultimate big bad showdown is between family. (Gun/Vegas, Morgana) Beloved minor charcters bite it in the chaos.

King(pin) Daddy does sketchy shit because of powerplays & personal obsessions that get people killed.

King(pin) Daddy tried to murder & exiled Merlin's dad/at min an accessory to the murder to Porsche's dad.

Porsche and Merlin figure out the dad is trash but ultimately don't have the heart to kill him and would never be able to ask his son to do it. Strategy: wait for the old man to die

HOWEVER. KP:ts did not kill Kinn on Christmas. So they are actually completely different.

[xoxoladyaz]

You're My Heaven, Angel (Paramedic Steve x Rockstar Eddie) - Part 2

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 (Coming Soon)

AN: I just wanted to say a quick THANK YOU to everyone who has been so kind and so supportive of Part 1! I hear you and I, too, want to create a whole series based around this idea. It's a lot of pressure following-up something that's so beloved, but I'm going to give it my best!

Robin must secretly hate Steve.

She must be the most incredible actress in the entire world. She must be the most prolific conman that’s in the business of conman-ing people or whatever. She must have made a blood oath with an elder god during a full moon that no matter how many days or weeks or months or years it took, she would one day make Steve Harrington’s life absolutely miserable. There’s no other reasonable explanation for why she insists on taking the scenic route to Eddie’s room - a scenic route which adds on two additional minutes of travel time instead of heading straight down the hallway (which maybe adds forty seconds tops). 

A route which means Steve has to bear two additional minutes of Eddie loudly introducing him to every single doctor, nurse, patient or family member that they come across on the way to his suite. Never mind that Steve’s worked with most of these doctors and nurses for years now, never mind that he actually goes to Sharla’s poker group when he has Thursdays off with the other fifty-something moms on staff (which Robin never ceases to find absolutely hilarious); no, Eddie is all smiles and arm flourishes, loudly – too loudly – proclaiming that they are now in the presence of his angel, his baby, his angel baby, the love of his life, the apple of his eye, his amor, his partner, his husband – 

“Congratulations, Steve! I didn’t know you got married!” Sue laughs as the entire production passes by. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve rolls his eyes. Eddie blows her a noisy kiss before clearing his throat. He takes a deep breath, and – 

“I’M GETTING MARRIED IN THE MORNING - ”

“Robin, he’s singing again!”

“I know, dingus, I can hear him.”

“DING DONG, THE BELLS ARE GONNA CHIIIIIMMMEEEEEEEE - ”

Steve turns back, risking a glare at Robin mid-step. “Remind me why we’re going the long way around?”

Robin snorts out a laugh, shit-eating grin firmly in place. “Come on, Stevie, we all need the exercise.”

“ – GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIMMMMMEEEE – Stevie? Stevie,” Eddie turns and sighs at Steve and okay, Steve can’t tell if Eddie’s eyes are super dilated because of the probable head trauma or if there’s a weird reflection from the fluorescents, but his eyes are, like, legit sparkling up at him. “Steeeeeevieeeee - ”

“Yep, I’m still here.” Eddie grins, flopping to the side so that their joined hands are resting up against his head. He sighs happily, his feet wiggling under the shock blanket, and it’s not cute Steve stop thinking it’s cute – 

“Steve!” He pulls his eyes away just as the gurney comes to a stop in front of Brenda, one of the intake nurses currently on shift. Brenda’s blonde and cute and ethically non-monogamous, but Steve is more of a one and done sort of guy. That doesn’t mean they don’t flirt like crazy anytime they bump into each other, though. (Hey, he’s gotta stay in shape somehow.)

“Looking good today. Is that a new shirt?” She asks with a smirk, her eyes running over his biceps. (It’s not a new shirt, Robin just ran it through the dryer, so it shrunk. Really, he should have gotten rid of it, but it makes his biceps look amazing.)

“Nah, it’s - ”

He has a line. He has a great line. But as soon as he opens his mouth to speak it, he’s cut off by a very loud hissing sound coming from his left and – 

Yep, it’s Eddie. Eddie, who’s glaring at Brenda like they’re mortal enemies. Seriously, it’s a good thing he doesn’t have laser eyes like that one superhero guy because if he did, Brenda would be at risk of getting too tan.

“MINE!” Eddie snaps at the end of his hiss and then, all while still maintaining eye contact with Brenda, he yanks Steve’s hand to his mouth and licks it. And not, like, a gentle lick that you’d get from a puppy. No, Eddie licks his hand like he’s trying to give Steve a tongue bath.

(His first instinct should be to pull away, but instead all Steve can think about it Eddie giving him an actual full body tongue bath - )

“Dude!” Steve exclaims when he does finally pull his hand away. (He hears Robin snort under her breath, clearly having caught onto the fact that his brain broke at the whole licking thing and shit, now he’s thinking about it again - )

“No, MINE!” Eddie growls, and Steve barely has a chance to wipe his hand on his pants before Eddie is grabbing it back, clutching it between both of his hands like it’s his special or something. (Special, was that the word that the guy used? The little creepy guy in that one movie? He needs to text Dustin and ask.)

“Aww, I’m glad to see you’ve finally met someone!” Brenda teases.

“Uh, yeah,” Steve replies distractedly, trying (and failing) to shake one of Eddie’s hands off of his hand because now that they’re actually at his suite, he’s going to need them. “Brenda, this is - ”

“The concussion patient from Lollapalooza, Sarah clued me in,” Brenda says, snapping her gum. “Eddie, right?”

Eddie pauses from wrestling with Steve to sniff at Brenda and honestly, as someone who spent way too much time at country clubs as a child because of his parents, Eddie has the whole I’m-better-than-you-you-poor-person-wearing-Adidas expression locked down. “That’s Mister Eddie to you, Briony.”

Briony? “Who’s Briony?”

Robin kicks the gurney forward with an eye roll and suddenly they’re moving into the suite. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, dingus.”

Eddie finally manages to tear his eyes away from Brenda. He perks his head up at Steve and once Steve’s face is in his line of sight his expression softens, the sparkles coming back in full force. “And it’s such a pretty head, baby.”

Such a pretty head SUCH A PRETTY HEAD – 

“I’ll show you – ow, Robin, seriously?” Steve yelps at Robin’s pinch.

“Stop being horny and help me get him on the bed.”

“I’m - ”

“Don’t listen to her baby, please, please stay horny, and lose the shirt while you’re at it!” Eddie sits up and starts frantically grasping at Steve’s sleeves. “Christ almighty, these arms, arms of heaven, arms of an angel - ” 

“Steve!” Robin barks and shit, he needs to focus. He takes advantage of the fact that Eddie let go of his hand to grab at his shirt and darts down to the other end of the gurney. They lift on a count of three, placing Eddie onto the bed and kicking the wheeled cart out of the way. (Eddie makes a loud WHEEEEEEEEE sound and then immediately goes back to demanding that Steve get naked.) Sarah, who’s followed the procession the entire time, grabs the empty cart and wheels it out of the room just as Brenda steps in.

“Well then, Eddie, let’s get started on intake,” Brenda nods, bringing out her iPad. “Are you ready to answer a few questions?”

“No.”

Robin groans and steps to the side, energetically fluffing and reorganizing Eddie’s pillows so he’s seated up. Somehow Eddie is able to lean around Robin’s wide-armed movements and fix Brenda with yet another piercing glare.

Brenda shoots Steve a look before nodding her head at Eddie.

Right.

“Hey, uh, Eddie, we really need to ask you a few questions - ”

“Hand!” Eddie snaps to look at Steve and sticks his hand towards him. He wiggles his fingers a few times before making a grabby motion. “Hand!”

It’s not cute. It’s totally not cute.

Steve sighs but walks back around from the foot of the bed and places his hand gently in Eddie’s. Eddie links their fingers and squeezes tightly. “Uh, how about now, is now okay to ask a few questions?”

Huffing, Eddie looks at their fingers for a few moments before looking upwards at Steve. Their eyes meet and he grins. “Hi angel,” he lets out a pleased sigh. “I missed you.”

Don’t say it don’t say it DON’T SAY IT - 

“I missed you too, Eds.” 

FUCK.

“Awwwww, my little schmoopers are being all schmoopy-moopy!” Robin sings in her best baby voice. (That’s it, he’s eating the rest of the Chunky Monkey.)

“I’m eating the rest of the Chunky Monkey.”

“Uh, like fuck you are.”

“I'd rather have you eat me,” he hears Eddie whisper and yeah, okay, that’s one he’s just going to choose to ignore for the sake of what little sanity he has left.

“Right, okay,” he hears Brenda try to get things back on track. “About those intake questions - ”

“Oh, don’t worry Nurse Brenda,” the lilting voice of Dr. Suzie Henderson floats into the room. “I can take it from here.”

Steve turns just in time to see Suzie strut into the emergency suite. She shoots Brenda a grateful nod and Brenda, with one last wink to Steve, hands her iPad off to Suzie and heads out of the room. 

“Bye Steve!”

“Bye Brenda.”

“Yeah, bye Brittany!”

Suzie has the best laugh in the world, and she lets it fly on her walk over. “Hey Steve,” Suzie grins at him as she makes her way towards the foot of Eddie’s bed. “How are things going today?”

“Oh, good,” Steve replies quickly before turning to look at Eddie. “Eddie, this is Doctor Suzie Henderson, she’s my sister-in-law.”

Eddie slowly scooches his butt backwards so he’s sitting up more. “No, she’s our sister-in-law,” he huffs before turning and smiling at Suzie. “Hey sis!” 

“And you must be Eddie! I heard you were thinking about marrying into the family.” She lets out a quick giggle at those words but then clears her throat and throws her shoulders back. “Well, if you are serious about joining our Steve in holy – or unholy – matrimony - ”

“Fuck yeah,” he hears Eddie whisper.

“ – then I’m going to need you to answer a few questions.”

“Proceed, milady.” Eddie starts gently caressing Steve’s hand with his fingers. Steve shoots a look at Robin, who makes exaggeratedly sappy faces while glancing between Steve and their intertwined fingers.

(Forget the Chunky Monkey, he’s eating all of the ice cream they have left tonight.)

“Full name?”

“Edward Anthony Munson.”

“Age?”

“Thirty-one.”

“Name of your emergency contact?”

“Oh, that would be Uncle Wayne and Chrissy! Baby, you’re going to love Wayne,” Eddie says, turning to gaze lovingly up at Steve. “And he’s going to love you! Not as much as I love you though, that’s impossible.”

(Steve’s pretty sure that Bambi eyes here is the impossible one.)

“Great, is Wayne and Chrissy’s contact information in your medical file?”

“Uh huh,” Eddie replies dreamily, still gazing at Steve. 

“Okay, speaking of your file,” Suzie taps at her iPad, “any major events in your medical history that we should know about?”

“Hmmm?” 

He can feel it on his face, he can feel his stupid grin on his stupid face, but he chooses to instead focus on helping Eddie pay attention. “She wants to know if there’s major health events in your past that we need to know about, Bambi.”

“Bambi?”

“BAMBI?!” Robin squeaks after Eddie.

Shit shit SHIT -

“I mean - ”

“Bambi,” Eddie hums, blinking rapidly as he slumps back against his pillows. Once he's settled, he tosses his free hand across his forehead and moans happily. “He loves me. He loves me, he loves me, HE LOVES MEEEEEE - ”

Don’t blush DO NOT BLUSH BODY STOP BLUSHING

“Oh my god that was amazing, I have literally never seen you this red, you look like an actual tomato. Oh my god, I have to tell Nance, like, now.”

“Right, yes, okay Bambi,” Suzie interrupts with a snicker, “like Steve said, is there anything we need to know?”

“Well, we’re in love,” Eddie sighs, pressing a quick kiss to the top of Stevie’s hand. “I think I’m still a little high but it’s only weed, I’ve definitely stopped doing cocaine since, like, five months ago. No need to worry about that, angel,” Eddie pats the top of Steve’s hand.

“Yeah, no, I definitely won’t worry about that.” (He’s definitely going to worry about that.)

“Well, thank you for your honesty, Eddie. I’m going to take a closer look at your files once we get them just to get a better picture of your overall health before we run our tests. Now, second set of questions,” Suzie loudly taps and drags a new window on her tablet open. “What is your annual income?”

(Huh. That’s weird. Steve’s doesn't think he's ever heard any of the nurses ask that question before.)

Eddie snorts out a laugh. “God, I make so much money. A fucking stupid amount of money.”

“You have something in way of a retirement plan then?”

“Doc, I could retire for, like, the next five hundred million years.”

Susie hums as she makes a note. “Do you have anything against sharing resources with your romantic partner?”

(Okay, Steve definitely hasn't heard anyone else ask these questions before.)

“Nah!” Eddie scoffs before gently tugging on Steve’s hand to get his attention. “You’ll be the hottest trophy wife, babe. Do you have an apron? I’m going to buy you an apron.”

“And what are your feelings on children?”

“Kids? I love kids. Is he good with kids? I bet he’s good with kids,” Eddie rushes out. “Fuck, you’re going to look so hot pregnant, baby.”

Robin makes a loud barfing noise which Suzie naturally ignores. “What exactly are you looking for in a relationship?”

“Suzie - ”

“Him! My angel,” Eddie slumps to the side so he’s leaning up against Steve’s hip. “I want to wrap him up in a warm towel and keep him forever and make sweet, sweet love to him under the - ”

“OKAY, next question please,” Robin loudly cuts him off.

“So what you’re saying is you’re looking for a committed relationship with Steve,” Suzie ignores Robin's dramatics. “Are you prepared for lifelong monogamy?”

“Absolutely.”

“Suz - ”

“And you’ll work every day to be deserving of Steve?”

“For the rest of my life,” Eddie proclaims and fuck, he actually sounds serious. He actually looks serious too.

Huh.

Suzie quietly observes him for a moment before her face relaxes into a warm smile. “I believe you. Now, dealbreakers. What are your opinions on outdoor weddings? Steve gets scared in churches.”

“What?!” Eddie gasps, snapping back to Steve.

“SUZ – what, no, I’m not afraid of churches - ”

“Uh yeah you are, you said that every time you visit one you get nightmares about being sacrificed on an altar,” Robin chimes in.

“Gee, thanks, Robin.”

“Baby, baby, don’t worry, I’d never let them sacrifice you,” Eddie tries to comfort Steve, but everything that’s happened in the last thirty seconds – hell, the last thirty minutes – is starting to finally sink in and yeah, okay, there’s an obscenely hot and rich and famous rockstar telling Steve that he loves him and sure, he’s partially concussed but the joke isn’t ending, he’s acting like he’s serious and they’ve only exchanged like maybe twenty words total but he’s acting like this is actually happening and what if it actually could – 

“Shoot, we’re going to have to wrap it up here, loverboy,” Robin waylays his runaway thoughts as her beeper goes off. “We’ve got a fainter with a broken nose."

“Okay, okay.” Steve shakes his head and tries to gently extract his hand from Eddie’s grasp but Eddie lurches at the feeling of Steve moving his hands and whines, digging his finger into Steve’s hand.

“Eddie, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to get back to work.”

“But – no, angel, please,” he blubbers before turning his eyes on Steve and –

Oh.

Oh no.

They’re even bigger and shinier when he’s crying.

“I’m sorry, Bambi,” he replies totally deliberately, “but I’ve got to go finish my shift. I’ll come back when I’m done, okay?”

Eddie sniffles, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay,” he whimpers sadly, and – look, this joke isn't really joking anymore so if Eddie's gonna go all the way, he might as well go all the way too.

He leans forward and presses a quick kiss to the top of Eddie’s head. “Be good for Suzie, okay?” As he draws back, he glances back down at Eddie. Eddie is blinking dazedly at Steve, all glassy-eyed and rosy.

“Wow,” Eddie whispers, and while the smile that appears on his face is small, it’s the warmest one Steve has seen yet. “Whatever you say, baby.”

“Right, right.” Steve nods and then pivots, making a hasty retreat out of the room.

“Later, Bambi,” Robin sings behind him, and then she’s quick on Steve’s heels. The hall’s crowded, though, so they aren’t fast enough to escape the start of Suzie and Eddie’s conversation. 

(“So, outdoor wedding? Maybe in spring?”

“Can it be in Hobbiton?”

“Uh, it better be in Hobbiton!”)

“I’m kinda surprised to see you staking your claim already, dingus,” Robin says, thrusting the portable gurney mat into Steve’s arms as they walk. “I was worried I’d have to make you.”

“I shouldn't have done that. I mean, he’s a patient, Robin!”

“Not anymore, he’s not!” Robin gently bumps his hip. “He's not your patient anymore so now we need to start planning your next move. I mean, he’s obviously going to say yes when you ask him out, but it still needs to be smooth.”

“What – I’m Steve Harrington, I’m always smooth.”

Robin is purposely silent.

“Okay, first of all, rude,” he says after giving her plenty of time to politely agree. “Second of all, even if I did decide to make a move, there actually isn’t a guarantee he’d say yes. Even if he wasn't just doing this because he's heavily concussed, I’ve hardly talked to the guy!”

“I know, he has no idea how much of a dork you are, it’s great.”

Steve offers Robin a hand as he climbs into the ambulance. (Not without shooting her a look once they're both seated, of course because again, rude.) 

Robin shrugs Steve's frown off. “Look, dingus, I know you think that you have all these great lines or whatever - ”

“Uh, I don’t think, I do have them - ”

“ – but they’re, like, obviously lines. Whatever you say to him has to be more real. He needs to know that if he says yes, he’s going to be going on a date with a guy that has the ooiest, gooiest, squishiest little itty bitty heart!” She squeezes her hands together like she’s holding Steve’s heart in her hands (which definitely isn’t concerning given the fact that she’s technically a medical professional who knows just how vulnerable that particular organ is.)

“Robs - ”

“ITTY BITTY!” She kisses the tips of her fingers. “And that’s why we gotta plan, doinkus. Edward Anthony Munson needs to be constantly conscious of the fact that he’s dating the best guy on the entire planet because you are, Steve, you are the best guy on Earth and you deserve a Prince Charming even though the Prince Charming archetype is totally outdated and part of a patriarchal initiative to establish systematic gender dynamics - ”

Well, shucks. Maybe Robin doesn’t hate him after all.

“ - doesn't exist, its still what you deserve. But more importantly than that, if Eddie does start dating you, then I have a better shot of getting him to introduce me to Chris Hemsworth.”

“Chris Hemsworth?"

“Uh, yeah.”

"Chris Hemsworth - Chris Hemsworth? Out of every famous person Eddie could hypothetically introduce you to, you'd want to meet Chris Hemsworth?"

"Well, yeah," Robin takes a brief sip of her water before shooting Steve a playful smirk. “I mean, as great as you are, I wouldn't be opposed to upgrading my emotional support himbo.”

Never mind, she’s evil incarnate.

(And she’s going to be out of Chunky Monkey in about five hours.)

Tags list: @piratefishmama @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @noxturnallyevermore @little-trash-ghost @justforthedead89 @mmmmwaffles94 @omletlove @lostonceandneverfound @sweetwaterangel @punctualhowell @sapphirecobalt-1 @kedtheduck @lunesispunk @mrs-dr-reid @clockworkballerina @stayonmars @maya-custodios-dionach @kahri1 @renaissan-vvitch @xwildangel @sweetarts116 @musical-theatre-gay @ladylokilaufeyson5 @ellietheasexylibrarian @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @designatedgrape @steddiesoulmates @starlightshadowsworld @inmoonywetrust @hellfire--cult @singmeyoursimpsong @sleepdeprivedflower @loserhotline @m-owo-n @magpiemuseum

[im-just-a-br0adway-baby]

Hazbin Hotel Headcanons

I thought I'd do a couple of my own Hazbin Hotel headcanons that have been stirring in my brain for the last few months. Some of these may have made an appearance in some of my previous fanfictions.

Charlie and Angel Dust both have the biggest stuffed animal collections at the hotel. They like to get into friendly, sibling-like competitions to see who has the bigger stuffed animal collection.

Building onto that, KeeKee and Fat Nuggets love to bury themselves in their respective owner's stuffed animal pile to see if they notice.

Alastor's favorite part of the nighttime routine is telling the everyone else stories about his childhood and when he was alive. Everyone else love his stories.

THIS ONE'S A BIT ON THE DARK SIDE, FAIR WARNING: Vaggie was a victim of the 27 Club

Angel's biggest turn-on is someone who is super passionate. The first time Husk kissed his neck, Angel got an instant nut.

Speaking of, the only reason Angel was acting so sexual around Husk during the first half of the season was because he didn't know how to flirt (or even talk to his crushes) properly. Since he's been working for Valentino for a while, all he knew was over-the-top sexual innuendos.

Angel is the only one that's allowed to pet Husk, but he's only allowed to do it when they're alone. Also, petting Husk behind his left ear knocks him out after a while.

Charlie and Vaggie love to spend time alone in the lobby when everyone else is asleep watching some of Vaggie's favorite telenovelas that she used to watch with her abuela when she was a kid. Vaggie would translate for Charlie so she would understand what was going on.

This version of Heaven and Hell have all the same stores, restaurants, business, etc. that we do here on Earth, however, it can differ quite a bit. For example, there's not a single Chick-Fil-A in Hell, but Heaven has a Chick-Fil-A on every other block.

Lilith, Rosie, and Carmilla all have the stereotypical "mom cackle." They're already super loud apart, but if they were ever together, it would be OVER for Charlie and Vaggie and they would want to hide in a hole forever.

Lilith is just as silly as Lucifer and Charlie, she just doesn't show that side of her in public

Charlie, Lucifer, Niffty, and Sir Pentious are all autistic, however, in the case of Niffty and Sir Pentious, they were never diagnosed when they were alive given the time periods they lived in

The girls and Angel love to do sleepover nights in the lobby every month. Their sleepovers are filled with the most unhinged stuff you can imagine

The sleepover nights were Angel and Cherri Bomb's idea and Charlie loved it so much she followed through

Speaking of bonding, the crew's favorite bonding exercise? Improv nights! Everyone loves to play improv games, and it gets the energy up and everyone is super hilarious!

Although Vaggie is the one that volunteers to host because she's the only one that's not super big on being funny on the spot

[turtletaubwrites]

My Needy Girl ~ Part 4

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3,707

This is part 4 of the Series 'We've All Got Needs,' linked below:

We've All Got Needs Masterlist

Ao3 Series Link

Summary: You’re starting to question how safe your arrangement with your crewmate is. Zoro really wants to be the world’s greatest ‘swordsman.’ Someone on the crew might have heard you last night. Zoro might be taking it badly.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Fem!Reader, 18+ Only, MDNI, Mildly Dubious Consent, Reader-Insert, Smut, Flirting, Accidental Exhibitionism, Mention of Masturbation, Rough Sex, Penis in Vagina Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cock Warming, Dom Zoro, Swearing, lil angst, Casual Sex, Possessive Sex, Possessive Behavior, Hair-Pulling, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Condoms, Shameless Smut, Friends with Benefits, Crewmates with Benefits, Relationship Discussions, Zoro's a straight to the point kinda guy, and we love that, but now he needs to figure out what he wants

A/N: Oops, I accidentally wrote way too much again. Some character stuff, more crew interactions, lil angst?, and some build up to future installments. But there is smut at the end, I swear! I hope you enjoy, I'm excited for what's up next! 😊⚔

Somehow you’d managed to stay awake while Zoro slept easily, resting his head on your lap. You would have left on your own, but you couldn’t leave without waking the sleepy swordsman. He carried you, and he would brook no arguments.

All that time sitting there had driven you a bit crazy. Your body was still sore from the mind blowing abuse, the orgasms he’d ripped from you. But your mind was still reeling from your brief discussion of boundaries, followed immediately by the most possessive sex you’d ever had.

That’s just sex. He told you he wanted to stay casual, you agreed you could see other people.

Not that you wanted to. He was right. You couldn’t imagine going to anyone else when he’d be here, waiting to tear you apart like that again. 

This is dangerous.

What if I fall for him? What if he actually is that possessive, and it causes problems? What if I get hurt? What if I have to leave the crew because we can’t keep our shit together?

These fears had kept dancing in your mind, taking turns with your shivering memories of his rough hands on your skin.

You didn’t want to have these worries. You wanted to trust that he was honest with you and himself, and that you both could keep this strictly casual.

You wanted to keep space between you. 

How can I be sure he can keep his own distance? Keep that possessive nature just during sex?

You’d managed to fall asleep at some point, til Nami stuck her head into your room.

“Come on, sleepy head. You’ve gotta get breakfast before Luffy eats everything.”

Groaning, you looked in the mirror. Surprisingly, you only looked half dead. You did what you could quickly, then traipsed to the galley. 

Sitting yourself on the end of the table next to Luffy, you gratefully poured coffee into the mug that was waiting for you. Luffy scooted over to give you room before leaning over the table, and speaking with his mouth full. 

“Hey Zoro, have you been exercising in your room lately? You’ve been extra noisy.”

Nami narrowed her eyes at Zoro while you took a sip of your coffee, pretending you hadn’t heard Luffy’s hilarious question.

“Yeah, actually, I’ve uh, been working on some extra core strengthening exercises lately.”

Usopp chimed in after chugging some tangerine juice.

“Mind not doing them in the middle of the night, green guy? Some of us can’t nap seven times a day like you do.”

You joined the group in laughing, and kept your eyes away from Zoro’s.

Sanji appeared next to you, setting a plate down, the delicious scent making you sigh as your eyes fluttered closed. Having Sanji as the ship’s cook made you feel spoiled.

“Good morning, sweetheart. I made some cinnamon syrup for your pancakes, I know how much you enjoy it.”

“Oh, um, thank you Sanji.”

His smile deepened, and you looked away from his bright eyes.

Then the whole group went quiet as Sanji sat at the table next to you.

Normally, Sanji didn’t eat until the rest of the crew was finished. He’d never sat beside you during a meal that he'd cooked before. 

He reached across you to grab the coffee pot. The whole length of his thigh pressed against yours while he poured himself a drink. 

“Can I have some cinnamon syrup, Sanji? 

“You already ate 12 pancakes Luffy. I’ll make you cinnamon syrup tomorrow.”

You looked down at your tantalizing breakfast, body tingling from the heat of Sanji's firm leg still pressed against yours. You risked glancing up at Zoro, but he was too busy scowling at Sanji to notice. 

You spent the day cataloging the seeds and dried herbs on the ship. There were a few that you’d had to argue with Sanji about, agreeing to split whatever you found for kitchen use.

Thoughts of the cook this morning made your cheeks flush, and you shook your head. Sanji’s just being Sanji. 

You avoided the kitchen for lunch, enjoying a few snacks and tangerines on deck with Nami.

“Do the boys seem extra obnoxious lately, or is it just me?”

Your eyes widened at Nami’s words. You wanted to tell her everything, but didn’t want to risk her judgement. 

“It’s hard to tell, aren’t they always?”

“I guess.”

Nami picked at her nails before eyeing you again.

“Find any cool plants on the last island?”

Feeling a soft smile hit your lips, you leaned toward her, and shook your head.

“Nope, just picked up some rosemary and chamomile. We’re always running out.”

“Ohh, did you make more of that rosemary hair stuff?”

Chuckling, you nodded. 

“I have enough, I’ll make you some tomorrow. Chopper uses it too.”

“I can tell! He’s like a walking air freshener when he washes all that fur.”

Still giggling with Nami, your laugh got cut short when Zoro came out on deck with rage in his eyes.

“Someone didn’t get their beauty sleep.”

Nami had given a stage whisper, and Zoro scowled at her before starting his training routine. 

You had to go inside, otherwise you would have been drooling on deck while you watched him. 

Your work always had you bouncing between studying with Chopper, and making salves and tinctures in the kitchen. You chose Chopper today. 

“Hi Chopper!”

“Oh, hi, Y/N! What are you working on today?”

“I was going to ask you. Are we stocked up on salves?” I’ve got more aloe for burns if we need it.”

“We’re all set! I’m so glad we have you on board, it really helps me focus on learning more with you helping me make such good supplies!”

You grinned at Chopper, his cute, sweet face had been planted into medical books when you interrupted.

You decided against spending the rest of the day in the kitchen. They can wait on their rosemary oil for another day.

By the time dinner came around, you were feeling more yourself. Until you walked in and saw both Zoro and Sanji look at you. Rushing to your seat, you knocked over your glass while reaching for the carafe of water. Luckily Robin’s many hands caught it. You thanked her, but she just tilted her head at you inquisitively.

There’s no way we can keep this secret for long. 

You fought again not to glance at Zoro, afraid that one look would make everyone see what you’d been doing together. 

Sanji appeared next to you again, and you startled.

“Apologies, beautiful. I was just checking that what you have is enough to satisfy you. If not, I’m sure I can provide something more to your liking.”

It sounded like normal Sanji banter, but your pulse raced when you met his eyes. They’d dilated a bit, making them dark, and you realized you hadn’t responded.

Sanji winked at you, and now you were sure he seemed a little more forward than even he normally was. Nami interrupted, saving you from your stunned silence.

“Ew, gross, Sanji. Quit making Y/N uncomfortable, and go bring us dessert”

Sanji kept his smirking eyes on yours for another moment before bowing, and excusing himself to the pantry.

You flicked your eyes toward Zoro, and caught him staring after Sanji like he was about to pull out his swords in the kitchen.

You made a face at your tea, and Luffy poked you with a stretched finger on the forehead.

“You okay, Y/N? Your face has been red a lot lately. Do you have a fever?”

You held in a laugh as Usopp scooched away from your potential illness, while Robin sent hands across the table to touch your forehead.

“Y/N’s fine, you boys just need to stop bothering her. Nami, why don’t you raise their interest if they don’t?”

You laughed at their outrage while Nami grinned at you. 

Glancing at Zoro, you saw that his jaw was still clenched as he watched for Sanji’s return. 

As the group stretched, some yawning and heading to bed, Sanji cleared his throat behind you. 

“Y/N, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind helping me. I’d like to stock up on some infused oils so I don’t have to make them daily. Would you give me the honor of assisting me?”

You felt Robins calculating eyes, and Zoro’s penetrating gaze, but couldn’t think of a reason why you shouldn’t help out.

Sanji beamed when you agreed, and you busied yourself grabbing the tools, avoiding everyone’s eye contact as they left.

Zoro seemed to be acting possessive, but you couldn’t tell if it was just his general dislike of the cook, or if he would be this possessive around anyone you get close to. Or if he would want more from you.

You didn’t like the thought of testing it out. 

I need to stop this now if he can’t handle being casual. I can’t risk that.

Sanji’s warm presence beside you was so calming. You worked together, talking softly, laughing at jokes, and grinning at his praise. He’d always been too much, and the way he hits on every woman in sight made your eyes roll. But he really is good company.

Finishing up, you carefully labeled each bottle with the date and ingredients while he started on the clean up. You joined him at the counter to dry the dishes, shivering when his fingers would touch yours for too long.

“Thank you so much, Y/N. Can I make you some tea?”

You returned to the table, watching him work after you agreed.

Sanji sat across from you, and the air seemed hot, not just from the steam of the tea. 

“Y/N, I need to be honest with you.”

“About what, Sanji?”

He pulled back, looking ashamed.

“I, um. I heard your conversation here last night.”

Your mouth fell open as you remembered. Trying to get Zoro to talk about boundaries. Zoro rubbing your hand along his cock before dragging you out of your seat to go fuck in his quarters.

“Wh-Why did you listen?”

You felt very still, not sure what emotion to feel.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I was coming back to prep for the morning meal. I should have interrupted or left. But I heard, and I had to make sure you were okay. I didn’t like the way he spoke to you.”

You watched the muscles in Sanji’s jaw clench.

“Are you going to tell anyone?”

Sanji’s eyes went wide, leaning forward.

“I would never, Y/N! But I will kill him if he hurts you.”

You stared, realizing that he was completely serious.

“Thank you, he’s not hurting me, Sanji. We just have an arrangement.”

Sanji scoffed, and you raised your brows.

“I’m sure that Mosshead is perfectly happy with his arrangement. Happy to take and take.”

Sanji set his hand on the table next to yours, a few fingers trailing along the edges of yours. Chills ran up your body as you looked back into his darkened eyes.

“You deserve someone who will give and give to you. Someone who values your pleasure more than their own.”

“How would you- You listened to that too, didn’t you?”

He pulled his hand back, and ran it through his hair. He sat back from you, lighting a cigarette. I’m actually starting to enjoy that smell. Fuck.

“I know, it was wrong. But he was so rough with you in the kitchen. I was worried he would hurt you too much.”

Your breathing got heavy at the thought of Sanji listening in while Zoro fucked you into oblivion. Of him listening to your muffled moans and screams, hearing you beg for Zoro’s cock. 

You met Sanji’s eyes again, feeling heat pooling between your legs. His eyes were trained on your parted lips, your breathing hot. Your brain seemed to shut off as other parts of you took the wheel.

“Did you touch yourself while you listened to me?”

“N-No, Y/N, I...”

His eyes looked panicked, and you watched his tongue push forward slightly to wet his lips.

“Please don’t lie.”

Your words came out strained, and Sanji glanced at your breasts as they heaved with your breathing.

“I-I’m sorry. It was so wrong. I just… the sounds you made…”

Your eyes flew back in your head, a small moan escaped your lips. You felt the table shift, as if Sanji had thrust toward you at your sound. 

His eyes were heavy lidded, his mouth hanging open, but he pulled himself together.

“Let me show you, beautiful. Let me give you what you need. Let me take care of you.”

Sanji’s pleading made your skin hot, and you felt wetness seeping through your clothes at the thought of him taking you right now on the kitchen table. 

But you managed to keep your head enough, trying to keep a fucking handle on something. 

“I-I can’t. Not yet.”

Sanji stared, waiting. The word ‘yet’ seemed to hook him.

“I made an arrangement. I have to make sure that’s okay first. Then we can talk.”

You traced one finger along his hand, pulling it away before you pulled him toward you. 

Sanji looked like part of him wanted to be angry when you mentioned the arrangement, but the rest of him seemed to be practically drooling.

I wonder if he’ll listen in again.

That thought sent you shivering as you went to find the swordsman.

You didn’t have to go far.

Zoro was waiting for you in the hall. Your breath felt trapped in your throat at his expression. He nodded toward his quarters and you started moving, his body radiating heat behind you. 

When you made it inside, he closed the door quietly, then shoved you against the wall. 

“Zoro, I- Zoro!”

You cried out as Zoro shoved his hand down the front of your pants, fingers slipping into your folds from how wet Sanji’s confession had made you. 

Zoro pulled his fingers from you, and you slumped against the wall as he shoved them into his mouth. 

“Zoro…”

“It’s all good, Needy. Go fuck the cook if you want to. I know he won’t be enough for your tasty, needy little cunt.”

You moaned, but tried to pull yourself together. Your voice came out high and breathy.

“I don’t want what we’re doing together to cause issues. Tell me if you’re not okay with this.”

“I’m okay, Needy. You can fuck everyone on the ship if you want. I know who you’ll be begging for.”

You moaned again as Zoro started trailing his hand down your stomach, crawling back down to your center.

“But Zoro, why? Why are you claiming me? We shouldn’t be doing this if it’s already causing prob- unf…”

Zoro had shoved two fingers inside of you, and was curling them right against that needy spot. 

“You want me to stop, Y/N? You want me to stop giving you what you need?”

His fingers went faster, and you were panting, hanging onto the wall. 

“Tell me you want me to stop making you feel good.”

You moaned, your body so close to the brink already.

“Well, what do you need me to do?”

“D-Don’t stop, Zoro, pleease.”

Your desperate whine made him groan, thrusting against your thigh while his fingers kept going.

With his free hand he dug through his pocket, and shoved a condom at you, before pulling himself out of his pants.

“Put this on my dick now, before I take you without it.”

He groaned again at the feeling of your pussy clenching his fingers at that threat. 

“You’d fucking like that wouldn’t you?”

You scrambled to open the wrapper, crying out as you touched him, smoothing the condom down his length. 

Gasping as Zoro withdrew his fingers from you, you whined pathetically, begging for him. 

“There she is. My Needy girl. Come here.”

Zoro tore your pants off, then sat with you straddling him on his chair. 

He made you lift up, gasping as you hovered over him. Smirking, he pulled your panties aside, and forced you to slam onto his swollen cock. 

You felt tears stinging your eyes as you fought your scream. 

“So good at staying quiet, huh, Y/N. Just a hungry little kitten, crying for some attention.”

You were lost, the feeling of his long cock hilted within you, but not moving, was making you feel feral. You tried to move your hips, to fuck him, but Zoro laughed and held your hips in place. 

“Nuh uh. You’ve gotta earn it now. Just sit still, and keep my cock warm, Needy.”

You slumped against his shoulder, twitching with every slight movement. He was so long and it almost hurt, but you knew if he just moved a little it would take you there. You continued struggling for friction, but he just gripped you in place and chuckled at your distress.

“Wh-What do you want Zo-Zoro?”

Digging your nails into his arms to stay steady, you watched his smug face. 

“I just want you to remember how it feels to have my cock inside you. I want you to think about it, all day everyday.”

You couldn’t help your whimpers as he leaned forward to breathe the next words along your neck.

“I want you to crave my cock, even when he’s fucking you. I want you to remember that no one can fuck you like I can. The cook will just warm you up for me.”

He laughed then, and bit your ear.

“Maybe I should thank him. He’ll get you ready for me. All warmed up, your hungry cunt dripping wet, so I can fuck you even harder than I have been. How does that sound, Needy?”

Zoro had thrust up into you to emphasize your nickname, and you were a desperate mess. 

All you could do was drag your drooling lips along his neck and shoulder, scratching uselessly at his arms while you begged, practically sobbing.

“Please, Zoro. Yes please, fuck. I need you, pleeease.”

His hand gripped into your hair, and you stopped breathing as he stared down at you. 

“That’s right, Y/N. I’m the one who can give you what you need.”

If you’d known how to respond, you couldn’t. Zoro used the fingers in your hair, and the hand at your waist as leverage to start shoving you onto his cock, over and over. You came so quickly, and he growled, invading your mouth with his tongue. Tears kept streaming down your face as he kept thrusting up into you through your orgasm. His rough hands and mouth kept you trapped on his cock, his tongue muffling your screams.

He pulled away from your lips, leaving you gasping. 

“Tell me you need my cock, baby.”

You moaned for him, your body almost taking you there again for him. 

“Finger yourself, and tell me how much you need my fucking dick.”

The demand in his words made your eyes roll back. You reached for your clit, slippery with your overwhelming pleasure. 

“I love your cock Zoro. I-I need to feel your cock in me everyday, it’s so fucking good!”

Zoro groaned, his eyes clamping shut as his thrusts slowed, erratic. You could feel him start to pulse inside you, it sent you screaming while you came again. Zoro managed to cover your mouth with a hand while he fucked into you through his own orgasm and yours, until he collapsed against the back of the chair, your body slumped onto his. 

Thoughts were out of reach as you convulsed in his arms. 

Then you gasped as his warm palm started smoothing along your spine, then rubbed in gentle circles. 

He kept twitching inside you, and you kept clenching around him, so he stood with a grunt, lifting you and settling you into his hammock. He cleaned himself up while you closed your eyes, still not back to reality. 

Then Zoro was leaning toward you, running a hand lightly along your arms. 

“I’m sorry I keep interrupting you when you want to talk.”

You choked out a laugh, and had to clear your throat a few times before replying.

“I have enjoyed the interruptions.”

His satisfied smirk made you grin. 

“But we’ve got to be clear on this. As much as I love what you’re doing to me-”

Zoro bit his lip, eyes filling with heat again.

“-we can’t keep this up if it’s going to affect how we act as part of the crew.”

He furrowed his brows, taking a breath. You pushed through, trying to say everything before he distracted you again. 

“I don’t think starting a romantic relationship would be smart. It could end very badly for everyone. I think a casual arrangement to fulfill our needs could be perfect, but only if we don’t let our feelings get in the way.”

He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms. 

“You just want to fuck the cook.”

You choked again, wanting to laugh, but not sure if he was joking or not. 

“I want us to be very clear about what is and isn’t okay. What do we do if one of us wants to fuck someone else, or starts falling for someone else? How do we handle that, talk about it? What  if one of us starts feeling serious about each other?”

Your face felt hot, but you kept going. 

“I can’t risk losing my place on this crew. Even if it means I don’t get to enjoy our time together again. I need you to seriously think about what you want and need, and what your boundaries are.”

Zoro looked serious, almost sad.

"Zoro, I want to know if how you treat me when we, uh- I need to know how you feel about me, and us right now. Before we get in too deep."

Struggling to get yourself off the hammock, his rough hands helped you steady yourself. 

You pulled your pants on, still wobbling a bit, before you placed a hand on his chest and looked up at him. 

“Let me know when you figure it out. I can wait.”

You left Zoro’s quarters, and didn’t look for eavesdroppers as you snuck to your room. 

Thank you for reading! 💜

TurtleTaub Fanfic Masterlist

Part 5

Buy me a coffee ☕🙏🏼

[anotherhumaninthisworld]

Who are Camille's siblings? Do we know their names or anything about them?

In total, Camille’s parents Jean Benoît Nicolas Desmoulins and Marie Madeleine Godard had nine children, four of which died during childhood:

Lucie Simplice Camille Benoît (March 2 1760 — April 5 1794)

Henriette Aimery Angélique (21 February 1761 — 17 June 1770)

Marie Élisabeth Émilie Toussaint (November 1 1762 — December 20 1839)

Stillborn girl, buried at the day of her birth (January 15 1764)

Armand ”Dubocquoi” Jean Louis Domitille (May 5 1765 — 1793)

Anne Clotilde Pélagie Marie (June 20 1767 — ?)

Lazare ”Sémery” Nicolas Norbert Félicité (June 6 1769 — January 1811)

Clement Louis Nicolas (November 23 1770 — April 16 1778)

Charles Maximilien Yves Nicolas Reignier (June 17 1772, probably didn’t reach adult age)

We know Camille was the only one of the siblings that was given a higher education in Paris. Something we might find an explanation for in a letter to him dated January 23 1791 (cited in Hervé Leuwers’ Camille et Lucile Desmoulins: un rêve de république (2018)), where the father places his oldest son on a higher level than the rest of his children:

Your brother Dubocquoi has always had a rather limited peak, he has just acknowledged it to you; but it is not his fault. In the portion of nature and in the lot of the spirit, why have you exercised your birthright so copiously and taken such a great precipitate, to leave your siblings’ afferent share so small?

Camille expressed himself in similar terms in a letter to his father dated October 8 1789. I’m just gonna let this part of this hilarious comic by @theorahsart illustrate the passage:

Camille spending the majority of his time away from his family seems to have ended up in him not knowing his siblings all that well, as we in 1792 find a letter where his father has to tell him the name of his brothers as well as their occupations (cited in Camille Desmoulins, a biography (1909) by Violet Methley):

You ask me, my son, for the name of your brother, Du Bucquoy, as well as for that of Semery. The former is called Armand Jean Louis Domitille, who was born on May 5th, 1765. For the past seven years he has served in the late Royal Roussillon cavalry regiment, or the 11th Regiment of the Army of the Midi, and which I believe is either in the interior at Saumur or at Saint-Jean-d'Angely, for I have had no news of him for the last twelve months. The latter is named Lazare Nicolas Norbert Félicité, born on June 6th, 1769, and for the past two years in the loth Battalion of Chasseurs, late Gevaudan, with the Army of the North, in which he shows much zeal. He tells me in his last letter that he is a forlorn sentinel in a wood, and congratulates you on the birth of a son. As for me, I also am married. My wife is a musket, and I take greater care of her than of myself.

On February 8 1793 Lucile has written in her diary: ”C(amille’s) brother came. We had dinner at Madame Brune’s.” In a letter dated July 9 1793 Camille shares more details on his brothers, who by now are both serving in the revolutionary army. These parts got censored when the letter was published for the first time in 1836, and restored in Hervé Leuwers’ biography:

I have received unfortunate news of my brother, who has been lost to drunkenness and expelled from his regiment. I don't know if he wrote to you about his mishap. He has not dared to write to me about it, and he is right in not to. It is most unworthy that I should take an interest in him, and I am really angry that he has taken my name, which he has sullied in the army. Nevertheless, I had advised him to pour water into his wine. I don't know what has become of him since he was forced to resign as an officer. His conduct might have caused you grief under the old regime, but it is a duty that a family of republicans and good men consists of nothing but those who are republicans and good men. […] I am very sorry that Sémery was killed. I would have had no reason to be ashamed of him, and I would have procured for him a speedy promotion of which he proved himself worthy, for things are going well and will be better.

Soon thereafter, Camille does however find out the information regarding his youngest brother’s death is false, whereupon he writes a new letter to his father:

I am very sorry to have written to you that my brother Sémery would have died fighting for his homeland. I had no other certainty of a loss so grievous to you than the indication of his long silence, and I eagerly laid hold of your doubts of his death to fix my hopes upon them. May he be returned to you by the enemies into whose hands he may have fallen captive. I feel even more now, when I see my son, how sensitive this blow must have been to your heart.

Sémery had indeed not died in battle, but been captured at the siege of Maestricht. According to La jeunesse de Camille Desmoulins (1908) he was released after three years. In 1802 he was admitted to the 27th legion of gendarmerie on foot, and was serving in Piémont à la Chiesa as gendarme of the Stura company when he died by an accident in January 1811. The other brother, Dubucquoi, did however die in Vendée in 1793, I’ve not discovered on which date.

As for the two surviving sisters, we seemingly only know that they got married. According to geneanet, the eldest sister Marie Élisabeth Émilie Toussaint married one Théodore Morey in Guise, December 25 1793, while Anne Clotilde Pélagie Marie married Simon Isidore Lemoine in the same town on June 5 1794. Leuwers cites a document showing the two couples were still together by March 4 1797. He adds that both husbands were gendarmes and their wives left Guise to be with them at their posts. Somewhere after 1797 Marie Élisabeth Émilie Toussaint got remarried to one Théodore Lagrange before dying in Paris on December 20 1839, with one Antoine Nicolas Desmoulins as witness. When and where Anne Clotilde Pélagie Marie died I’ve not been able to discover.

[luna-rainbow]

idk if you've seen that post, it's from years ago at this point, where someone is surprised to hear that Bucky has a disability. i think it's in an ask with a response like HE'S MISSING AN ARM. remembering that left me thinking,,, what are your thoughts on Bucky's own comprehension of his disability? like, i'm sure he experiences chronic pain, and he's aware of his disability *especially once he has a metal arm that can be detatched as we see in tfatws* but i also feel like he might feel guilty taking the title of disabled because he has the serum and is "super" plus he doesn't feel like he deserves the support/help that can and should be given to disabled people when they need it. ALSO he hasn't had all that much time to process as a human rather than a controlled weapon that he is missing an arm. his prosthetic has been welded into him,, with probably less sensation,, but it functions like an arm,, idk i just feel like it probably hits him out of the blue, too 🥲

Oooh thanks for the interesting ask nonnie! And yes I do remember that hilarious post.

Here's my usual disclaimer that this is just throwing out ideas and that canon lends itself to many different interpretations.

I think the first thing to consider is Bucky's relationship with disability as a concept. He was good friends with Steve, a chronically ill person, but sometimes people have a different bias when it comes to invisible illness versus visible body difference. I have seen people, including disabled people, who are more accepting of one type than the other. He had grown up during a time when disability was considered a "defect" and there was talk of eliminating them from the gene pool, so there might be some inherent fear of being seen as "disabled". At the same time, he had also fought through one of the bloodiest wars of human history but also post the antibiotic era, which means a lot of major injuries became survivable compared to WW1. He likely saw many people around him become physically marked in one way or another. I have a feeling that that experience would have reconciled him with the fact that the value of life is greater than physical wholeness. So overall, I think Bucky probably had a fairly accepting view on disability and illness back when he was able-bodied, and while he needs time to process the loss, that acceptance is probably somewhat protective against self-hatred.

The second thing is the curious subject of Bucky's bionic arm. I have met (lower limb) amputees who reject the "disabled" label, because to them once they put on a prosthesis they could walk and run and work and exercise. I think worrying about being "deserving" might be a small part of it, there's a bigger part of worrying about social perceptions of disability -- they didn't want the "handicap" label to be used to hold them back. I suspect you are right, in that Bucky probably sees himself as very capable, even super-humanly so, with the (very high-tech) prosthesis. He most likely feels that being a soldier is a big part of his identity and sense of worth. I suspect also...going back to what Bucky's relationship with the word "disability" means, his interpretation of that (given he came from the 1940s) might mean something that has a profound impact on function, and he may feel that he doesn't fit that mark.

The third thing is Bucky's relationship with body image, which has varied from movie to movie. The Winter Soldier had no qualms flaunting that arm, but then the Winter Soldier had no mind of its own, and its handlers knew the metal arm was intimidating. In both Civil War and TFATWS, we see Bucky wear gloves and long sleeves to hide his arm, which he removes when he starts a mission. It could be that he doesn't want to scare people or draw attention to it day to day, or it could be that he associates the arm with the soldier part of himself and he doesn't want to see it when he's trying to return to a normal life. Interestingly, in Wakanda, Bucky had been quite content to walk around without any sort of prosthesis at all. This might suggest that he's less bothered by the missing arm than he is by the need to wear a weaponised prosthesis.

But you know, people are fickle creatures, and I am sure when he's hit by PTSD or a bout of anxiety or depression, his views on body image and his physical limitations would take a very nasty turn and he would have to work through all the stages of grief again.

[mrspasser]

Sweeping the room

Call of Duty fanfic Read it on A03

It all started relatively innocently. They pull pranks on each other all the time and retaliation is part of the deal. So when Soap taped Kyle’s niftily constructed shack (not a Jack Shack - he’d been pulling night shifts that whole week and when sleeping in a bunk room with ten other soldiers you had to get creative to get some sleep) completely shut last month, forcing Kyle to cut himself out with a knife and ruining a perfectly good sheet, he knew he’d find a way to get back at the guy. He hadn’t gotten a chance while they were shipped out, but now they were back at their own base he had every means at his disposal. 

So that’s why he’s leading a small unit of soldiers down the hall towards Soap’s room, all armed with the contents of the broom closet around the corner. Kyle commandeered an old fashioned wooden broomstick for himself, letting the cadets divide up the flimsier plastic ones. One cadet ended up with a mop.

It’s perhaps a bit unfair that Kyle enlisted the help of his training unit for this prank, but again: all is fair in love and war. And he loves to pull pranks on his friend. He’s also fairly certain Soap won’t hold it against the guys too much; at worst he’ll make their practice drills a little harder, or something. The cadets that signed up for this little job are all aware of that risk and willing to take it.

It’s about an hour before lights out and most people at the base are either hanging out in the common rooms or chilling in their own bunks. The 141 task force has the luxury of private rooms; they’re about the size of a shoebox, but it certainly beats having to listen to your bunkmate’s snores. Soap’s room is squat in the middle of the hallway, one of few closed doors at this hour. Kyle knows his friend is in his room, he’d texted him before to ask him what he was doing and the answer was ‘watching a movie’.

He directs his small unit towards Soap’s door in near silence, using hand signals and whispered commands to get them in the right position. The cadets are playing along nicely, holding their broom sticks as if they’re real rifles and sticking to the walls for cover. Kyle considers pulling his phone out for a moment, to film the whole thing, but he’s been with the 141 long enough to be wary of possible security breaches. He’ll just engrain the whole - hopefully hilarious - event to memory. If anything, it’ll make for a funny story the next time they’re going out for a drink.

The broomstick armed unit plays their role perfectly, directing curious soldiers that they encounter along the hall back into their rooms with harsh whispers and pointed broomsticks. There’s some laughs and token protests, though everyone falls in line pretty quickly. As they reach Soap’s door, the soldiers line up according to regulation. One to open the door and provide cover, two cadets on each side, ready to breach and Kyle and the other two remaining cadets for additional cover and assistance. 

The cadets look back to their sergeant for the signal and Kyle counts down from three on his fingers. On his ‘go’ signal the first soldier opens the door with a shout and he points his broomstick at the entrance. The room is quite dark, Soap must not have turned on the overhead light for his little movie night. He might even be asleep already. 

The two other soldiers move in, mop and broom at the ready. Despite their awkward ‘weapons’, they move fluently and had this been an official training exercise, Kyle could’ve ticked off some boxes with a positive result. 

At that point, multiple things happen at once. There’s shouting from within the room, mostly from the soldiers that just breached the door. There’s a scuffle, presumably from the soldiers surprising a prone Soap on his bed. And out in the hallway, Kyle has to order a couple of privates to put away their phones, because their little stunt has gathered an audience by now. 

The noises from inside the room turn worrying, because there’s more than one pained grunt audible. Kyle hurries to the door, bumping into one of the cadets that suddenly steps back from the doorway with an audible ‘Oh shit’. Before Kyle can ask why the man is backing away, the answer presents itself when he gets an unobstructed view of the room.

Oh shit, indeed.

“Gaz! Ye radge wee shite! Is this your doing?!” At the back of the room, only his bottom half illuminated by the light coming in from the hall, is Soap standing, dressed in gym shorts, socks and a hoodie, his handgun pointed straight at Kyle. 

Being held at gunpoint by his fellow sergeant isn’t what worries him, though. No, he’s more scared of the sight on the floor between him and Soap. 

Because to one side, half underneath the small desk that takes up valuable floor space, is one of the cadets that breached the door. The poor guy is looking out of it, the stick of his mop weapon broken clean in two and strewn over his prone form. There’s a thin trail of blood running down his forehead that might explain his dazed look and the broken mop handle. However, he might be the lucky one, because the other cadet is getting strangled with his own broomstick by none other than their resident fright, Ghost.

Ghost, who has the neckline of his T-shirt pulled up over his nose, because apparently they caught him without his mask. A rare occurrence.

Ghost, who effectively pins the poor cadet to the floor with one knee placed right besides his groin and two large hands holding down the broomstick over his throat. 

The room is silent for a beat, just the sounds of the cadet struggling for breath to be heard.

Then Soap steps forward, putting his weapon away in the waistband of his shorts and placing a hand on Ghost’s shoulder. “Stand down, Lt,” he urges in a quiet voice.

The effect is instantaneous: Ghost lets go of the broomstick and surges to his full height, impressive as it is. The lieutenant holds one hand up to his face, fixing his makeshift mask into place. It doesn’t diminish his menacing stare. 

Yeah, Kyle is man enough to admit he fucked up on this one.  He lowers his broom and straightens his back. “I’m sorry, sir.”

The room is silent.

“I didn’t know you were back already,” he adds, resisting the urge to drag his hand across his face and draw in on himself. He’s a battle hardened soldier, for fuck’s sake.

“Aye, and where is my apology?” Soap stands half behind their lieutenant, the room not big enough for the two men to stand next to each other. Still, he crosses his arms across his chest and puts on an impressive glare. “Why does he get a nice ‘sorry, sir’ and I don’t?” 

“Because you’re not my superior officer,” Kyle shoots back. And because you have just your standard bag of army induced issues, he thinks, nothing like the flaming bag of dog shit the other man carries with him. He doesn’t have the security clearance nor the kind of trust he needs to know all about Ghost’s horrid past, no matter how much they trust each other with their lives on and off the battlefield. Kyle doubts there are people besides Ghost himself who know the full story. Price might come close. Soap probably too. All Kyle knows is not to touch it with a ten foot pole. And now he went and hit it with a broomstick. Yeah. He’s fucked.

“And because you couldn’t stop fucking about with my sleeping arrangements,” he adds.

Soap grins widely, the anger disappearing completely. “Your Jack Shack!” 

“It was not a Jack Shack! No matter how many signs you made to call it that.” At some point Soap had even unearthed Christmas decorations from somewhere to decorate Kyle’s bunk with. It was just a shame he used the tinsel to spell out Jack Shack in large letters across the sheet that hid the bunk away from daylight. With their shifts at the Mexican base alternating off each other, Soap had had ample time to mess with his friend’s sleeping quarters, until Price finally ordered him to knock it off.

“Ah, sirs?” One of the cadets on the floor finally found the courage to speak up. With the way Ghost is still glaring, the poor man might even deserve some chest candy for his bravery. The trickle of blood on his forehead is dried up, smeared across his eyebrow. 

Ghost levels the man with one look. “You’re dismissed, Pradhan,” he says in a low, icy tone. “Take private Wen with you and get yourself checked out by medical.”

The poor cadet quickly nods with a ‘sir, yessir’ and scrambles to help his colleague off the floor.  

So much for the soldiers hoping Ghost didn’t recognise them. 

Kyle might have to apologize to them later, for leading them on a mission with faulty intel. It’s one thing to help prank your jovial, Scottish superior; pranking the Ghost is a whole other ballgame, with much higher stakes. For now, all he can do is move away from the door so the cadets can enter the now suspiciously empty hallway, taking their misused cleaning supplies with them. 

He watches them disappear through the double doors at the end of the hallway, wondering what they will tell the nurse on duty. He’s sure they won’t be mentioning the name Ghost. But what will they tell? It’ll be interesting to sort out that paperwork. However, that’s for tomorrow-Kyle. Today-Kyle still has to face his superior officer.

“I’m sorry, Ghost,” he says again, turning back to the room. The man has dug up his balaclava from somewhere in the room and is once again covered up. The tousled blond locks from before are hidden from sight. “We were just trying to get the jump on MacTavish.”

“And look whatsit got ya, ye fuckin’ bampot,” Soap mutters from where he’s sat back on his bed shaking his head. He’s winding the cord of his headphones around his fingers, the white cord having come loose from the laptop that still lies on the floor. It’s laying on its back, the keyboard side sticking up in the air. On the screen the movie is paused on a scene with flashy cars. Kyle guesses it’s one of the The Fast & The Furious installments. The use of headphones might explain the reaction of the officers, if they didn’t hear their ‘assailants’ coming.

“When did you get back, sir?” Kyle tries to spark up some semblance of a conversation, anything to get past the awkwardness of this situation.

“This afternoon.” He takes the short answer he gets as a good sign. Surely if Ghost was truly mad, he wouldn’t even answer. From his bed, Soap follows the conversation, keeping his eyes trained on Ghost’s back. There’s a slight pinch to his look, a sign of worry perhaps.

Ghost had been off on a solo mission, having left at some point before Soap and Kyle came back from Mexico three days ago. He doesn’t know any details, just that the lieutenant was shipped out to somewhere in the Middle East. “Good mission?”

A short grunt from behind the mask, Ghost’s eyes staring at the wall behind Kyle. “Job’s done.” 

Kyle catches Soap’s gaze, who jerks his head minutely towards the hallway. He takes it as the sign it undoubtedly is to leave the two men alone. Something he should’ve done from the beginning. “Right. Well, I’ll leave you guys to your evening. Good night, sir,” he says to Ghost. “And once again: I’m sorry for what happened.”

Ghost predictably doesn’t react. From behind the big guy, Soap mouths ‘kiss ass’ at Kyle. Also predictable. 

Kyle leaves the room and closes the door behind him. He sets course to the on base med bay, meaning to check up on the two unfortunate cadets. On his way, he wrecks his brain for ways to make it up to Ghost. He might have to consult Price on that one, something he’s not very much looking forward to, especially not combined with tonight's paperwork. 

He’s not too worried about Soap, resigning himself to be on the lookout for another horrible prank coming his way sometime soon. It might do well to come up with some ideas to retaliate. Just to be prepared.

[sometinysludge]

Me, speed running a character sheet? More likely than you think. More rambling beneath the cut heem heem. (Carnival AU by none other than @sm-baby).

TRIVIA 

Zest was, hilariously, horrible at chess. Frequently loosing to Kinger in most of the games involving any level of traditional chess strategy. Suffering especially during jousting, but, he always came back. Being a very competitive player who didn’t know when to give up, and as a result he prevailed in most of the levels overtime. Although, secretly, his recurring appearances in Kinger’s boss level were not always out of competition alone — he liked talking to Kinger when he was in a pleasant mood, even if he sometimes forgot him. His frequent visits earned him the title “fruit fly”. 

Zest was convinced by a few other players to try out Jax’s levels, since he was exercising a bit of favoritism. Ironically, he quickly became interested in Jax, enjoying the lessons and playful jests, even if he suffered a few pranks here and there. Zest was a better artist than a chess player, but he didn’t use the skill as often. Once things within the game began to become a bit strange—especially with Jax—he stopped visiting his level. Of course, this wasn’t enough at all,and he quickly became paranoid and frightened, frequently seeking refuge with his favorite character. His biggest, and last mistake. 

The same above occurred with Gangle, revisiting their level on account of suggestions from other players. There were often large intervals of time where he simply went to either watch ongoing plays between the other AIs (often being pulled in as part of the general design), or participating himself willingly. He always thought Gangle was sweet and extremely creative, and constantly tried to do his best in pleasing them and fulfilling their creative vision.

Zest smelled very strongly of oranges, or at least, he was told this by the other AIs.

Despite his classy appearance, Zest was something of a brawler. Even if he continuously loosed most of the time, his effort at least, granted him a bit of strength. It didn’t matter in the end though, of course.

[neonponders]

Part 7 for @wrecked-fuse ‘s pocketverse 🧁

~ Part 6 ~

~ on ao3 ~

• • •

Billy had his assignment, and getting the smaller Billy’s head measurement was the easy part. He had to use a strip of paper to mark the circumference of the large noggin’ on the little body, and then measure that before he went to the most expensive store for tiny clothing.

“Okay, chipmunk. I’ll see you at the music store.”

“Bwing the hat!”

“They might have to make it if it’s not available,” Billy warned on his way out of the video store.

Big Steve sighed heavily, inducing Robin to scrutinize him. “Are you afraid of the doll store?”

“Only the woman who runs it. Can we close already? I’m ready to be a person again.”

“Music Stowre!” little Steve shouted with his hands in the air. Big Steve set their finished shoebox room on the counter and waved them in.

“Get inside, you two, and hold on tight.”

Billy charged through the cardboard flaps they’d cut like doors and pushed the button on the battery pack shoved under his bed. The little fairy lights around the room bloomed with warm light as they landed on their beds, ready for their ride.

Robin carefully tied shoelaces over both of them like seatbelts while Steve closed up the back of the store. She carried their precious cargo as he moved the register money bag to the safe and turned the lights off. With the front door finally locked, Steve heaved a breath of relief and ripped his vest off. “Okay, let’s go.”

Little Steve and Billy sang movie tunes on the way to the record shop. Robin couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she held them on her lap and said to big Steve, “Getting Billy to go to the doll store is a test, isn’t it?”

Steve shrugged. “B wants a hat. It’ll be nice for someone else to use a credit card for a change. If I can get Hopper to buy anything, he’s getting a list.”

However, he felt Robin’s gaze on him and peeked at her before admitting, “Yeah, Billy Hargrove, lifeguard extraordinaire, in a doll store sounds hilarious. Sue me.”

“What’s wife gward?” small Billy exclaimed.

“He’s not a wife guard,” Robin sassed, rocking from the nudge Steve gave her. She rerouted, “Billy works at the Rec Center, little man. So he teaches exercise classes, swimming lessons, and makes sure people stay safe in the indoor and outdoor pools.”

“Biwwy’s a knight?” small Steve exclaimed in wonder.

Robin’s eyes narrowed as the car turned into a new parking lot. “I don’t know if that’s the right word for it, but it is technically his job to protect people.”

“Wow,” he breathed. “Big Biwwy, is so cool! But who keeps Biwwy safe?”

Robin and big Steve exchanged a loaded silence as he turned the car off. The latter reassured, “Billy can take care of himself while he’s gone. Are you ready to hear some music?”

“Hell yeah!” Billy declared.

Reggae played over the main speakers of the store, and an underlying aroma of marijuana wafted up from the carpets. Steve and Robin understood without saying anything that they needed an empty nook of the store. Robin set the box on a shelf between cassette and vinyl racks. She looked at the tape left in the player and set it aside before giving the shoelaces a tug to free the little ones. “You need to stay in there, okay? It’s too easy to get lost in here.”

Steve appeared and held up two small LP’s. “Do you want a little spicy or a little soul?”

“Spicy!” Billy demanded.

Robin placed the headset on the box as if the shoebox were a head, and Steve got the record player going. “You Spin Me Around” by Dead or Alive started up and Robin’s nose wrinkled.

“You’re going to give them a heart attack. Soul, soul, soul...” She started switching the LP’s, only to corner, “Steve, Boney M. is disco.”

“It’s groovy,” he smiled over a rolling shoulder. He put the other record back and set the needle down on the right song.

As music began to trickle over the shoebox bedroom, little Steve began to sway his hips. “Gwoovy,” he said experimentally.

Steve and Robin place the other headsets on their heads, the latter nodding along as Steve shamelessly danced in the store. “Let it out, lil dude. Let the music wiggle through you.”

Little Steve smiled shyly as he looked at Billy sitting on his bed and kicking his feet. “Gwoovy, Biwwy!”

Robin laughed, “Can you imagine how many complaints we’ll get if we play this at work?”

“Yeah, from Keith, if he ever bothers to actually come into work. Everyone else will thank us. How long until the GM realizes Keith is at the community college instead of Family Video?”

“Depends on when I need a raise,” she finished, letting more of her body move to the music.

Steve laughed and watched his smaller self coax Billy off the bed and do little hops and wiggles to the music. Robin encouraged, “Woo! Shake that wittle butt, Billy Boy. You’re rocking it.”

They both laughed as Billy did just that, bending his knees and throwing his butt back and forth while little Steve clapped his hands to the music.

A deeper voice warned, “Don’t throw your back out.”

The little ones gasped at big Billy joining them with his own box under his arm. Flicking the lid open, he withdrew something and twirled a familiar hat over his finger. “How about a summer jacket instead of that winter one? It’s not in season yet.”

Little Billy jumped up and down. “My hat! Will it fit? Gimme!”

Steve marveled, “They had a whole Indiana Jones doll?”

“I’ll mail you my fees,” Billy retorted, and shoved the box against Steve’s chest. Steve held it while Billy disrobed the doll and passed down the thinner jacket. Next came the hat -

“Don’t show him that,” Steve warned quietly when he gripped Billy’s hand inside the box.

Billy held his gaze a moment before he assured, “Relax, Harrington. It’s not a real whip. It’s just a string.”

“I don’t care. A bird will take these guys away if we’re not careful. B tries to belly flop off my bedside dresser every morning. Don’t let him see it.”

Billy’s brows reached for his hairline as he removed his hand from Steve’s grasp, holding it up defensively. “Your call, daddy Harrington.”

Robin pointed a mild grimace over Steve’s shoulder. Billy didn’t draw attention to it and instead looked down at little Billy putting the hat on smaller Steve’s head. “Stevie! We need a miwwor in here.”

Little Steve giggled and looked up at them, holding the wide-brimmed fedora on his head. “How do I wook?”

“Like a million bucks,” Steve congratulated.

Little Billy blushed. “Gwoovy.”

The corner of larger Billy’s mouth crooked up.

[where-the-water-flows]

character asks—hit me up with your hottest jiao liqiao takes

JIAO LIQIAO my best beloved nightmare failgirlboss. she cannot malewife for very long but by god can she manipulate and murder.

favorite thing about them honestly I love that she has a goal and she fucking goes for it, zero hesitation. is it a good, reasonable goal? well no. she would have been better finding someone to fixate on who was not somewhere on the utterly asexual to entirely homosexual spectrum, but y'know, can't win them all. A+ dedication, F- execution.

least favorite thing about them the laugh the laugh I know it is like, the most standard trope signifier thing but the high pitched ahHAHEHEHA laugh is always so jarring in a 'pulls me right out of the narrative' kind of way, I know it is petty but also oh my god please. please you sound like a second rate cartoon villain. please. On a more character less shallow note, bestie babygirl please stop playing with your food. it literally never works out for you, for the love of god. please learn your lesson after the eighth time it bites you in the ass. (also like on the one hand, I would love for her to not have a plot centered around how she is deeply unhinged for/about a man. but on the otherhand, like, idk, I think she's fun. terrible awful etc, but also, she's putting the fun in extremely dysfunctional <3)

favorite line look I love so much every unhinged word out of her mouth, especially the argument she has with snow master when he's like 'girl that man is gay/ace the magic incense amnesia did not make him suddenly not gay/ace he is Manipulating You' and she is like 'lalalala not listening he loves me also we both know that man can't/won't lie to save his life, also also if he is lying I'll mutilate him and keep him like a purse pet <3 but he's not lying. because he loves me.' I recognise that is not a line but like. you know what I mean.

brOTP uhhh I don't really know that she... has... bros. like I guess granny blood (rip), who is basically always full 'yes girl get your man he will def love you this time' in the manner of someone who knows that her friend is lusting after a guy who is 1)not ever going to be interested even if he wasn't 2)very gay/ace and is 3)probably mid at best in bed no matter how much her friend is like SEX GOD. like the most 'yeah girl go get your man!!!! (why that man though have you considered any other man literally there are so many other men) oh no, def the red lipstick, he'll love you in that (but why him for the love of god just buy a vibrator)' that said, I do think the wildly divergent au where li xiangyi ends up 1)aware of nanyin bloodline like. Early On 2) jinyuan alliance aligned, he and his cousin jiao liqiao would be a hilarious pair of nightmares. absolutely ends in disaster for everyone, including them and definitely including di feisheng, I have an entire stupid au vaguely plotted out about this, it is purely nonsense. compels me though.

OTP no<3 that said, like, obviously I do not want the boys to be mmmmm torture mutilated noncon wifed as the otp of my heart, but also, I think jiao liqiao deserves a harem of moderately to severely brainwashed/mutilated/etc malewives! as a treat! god forbid women do anything. I contain multitudes, the dirty joke here is left as an exercise for the reader.

nOTP shan gudao. I just. I think it would be a mess, and not even a fun one. like as an actual relationship I mean, not proxy fighting spy vs spy manipulation But With Sex kinda bullshit, that's fine and fun, but they are not romantically compatible except as a triad where the third part of it is the idea of the man they are individually personally psycho/sexually obsessed with. which I guess makes it like. a weird poly U, with two theoretical ends. weird poly u with them mostly egging each other on in their dysfunction, 100% fine, any sort of Actual Healthy Relationship, no. also, therapy. I think therapy would only make her worse, but on the off chance it did not, I don't want that for her. she's a nightmare! again, god forbid a woman do anything.

random headcanon she was literally never expected to take the throne, nor expected to be the primary way that her particular fork of the nanyin royal line passed down. which means she likely has at least one sister and probably a brother. I don't know if this is backed up or contradicted by canon, but also, she was raised knowing she was nanyin royalty (??) but also was allowed to just fuck off into the jianghu at age [mlc timeline is nonsensical]. like if that is your single heir of the bloodline you have been carefully keeping alive and aware of how they were The True Imperial Family, you are not letting said heir go out and get their ass killed playing with swords. therefore. youngest child jiao liqiao. no further questions, you know in your heart I'm right. less world logistics based, I think she absolutely can't fucking cook, but, crucially, feels that she is fucking aces at it. does she cook? irrelevant, also no obviously not, she is a lady of rank, we have servants for that. but, crucially, she feels in her heart that she is a great cook. not that she cares about it. but again, she is great at it. this is never challenged because 1)di feisheng, the one person I can see her lowering herself to actually cook for, does not pay attention to the taste of food unless he has amnesia, and thus he's certainly not going to be like 'you suck at cooking, ew'. 2) if you are not di feisheng are you going to challenge fucking saintess on her bad cooking? no! she will stab you in the eyeball with a chopstick.

unpopular opinion honestly I don't know that I have that many unpopular opinions on her. other than that she's fun. a nightmare and like, deeply uncomfortable as a character with how incredibly rapey she is, obviously. but fun! she is a problematic queen. terrible woman who really sort of stands out as one of the few of the main cast who uh...doesn't really seem to have any reason behind the terribad decisions she makes other than there is something Wrong With Her, but again, god forbid, etc.

song i associate with them Girlfriend, by Avril Lavigne; the early 2000s angry brat pop is just. so on brand. see also, so much for my happy ending. (also, this has given me the image of idea of early 2000s scene kids jinyuan alliance, which is the funniest fucking thing in the world to me. I don't know what sigu sect would be, but it's just so fucking funny.)

favorite picture of them quick and nasty screencap bc this response has already taken me two days, but like. the whole turn on li lianhua when he's in chains and she's like 'oh you're dangerous to talk to', I just. I feel so abnormal about it. she is so hot and scary.

[spywhitney]

Thoughts on ships in The Bear

Sydcarmy (Sydney x Carmy)

I filtered out the tag weeks ago and I haven't undone it yet 💀.

98% of posts on my page in the last 6 months or so is to do with this ship- I've had a lot of thoughts about it.

S3 soured my opinion on it, and I've seen some eyebrow raising opinions emerge after s3 that are kind of wild, but sobering I guess?

But unfortunately I've hyperfixated on this ship now so I won't let go until it's over. So yikes for me I guess.

Like I've invested so much attention to it and the odds are looking terrible, but I hope it works out anyway?!?!

Sydrichie (Sydney x Richie)

It's the older man/younger woman trope. That's all it takes for me lol.

I read these fics when I'm tired of the above ship lowkey.

Their dynamic is so interesting to me.

If there weren't so many ****** **** ball sucking/suit licking on Richie while simultaneously trashing on Syd I'd like it a lot more (probably).

I was going to say how Richie treated Syd in s1 is what turns me off too, but I ship Syd with Carmen so, welp.

If they got together it would piss so many people off. Like the hater in me is cry-laughing thinking about how upset certain people would be lmao.

Wish we saw more of them in s3, it would've made so much sense too.

Sydmarcus (Sydney x Marcus)

Um, are the sydmarcus shippers even alive?

Y'all were done dirty. Y'all didn't deserve that man.

I never got the impression Syd liked Marcus however, but still.

If she did, they would've been so cute, like omg.

Marcus has had Syd's back the most and is arguably the only friend she has.

He treats her like a friend/overtly asked her out as more than a friend too etc etc.

The fact Syd didn't even acknowledge the fact Marcus made a dessert and named it after her is wild though.

Their dynamic has a healthy balance of reciprocation, exercised respect and care.

Obviously there are some that insist they should('ve) got together because they don't want sydcarmy which is ridiculous.

Then there's the "Syd deserves better" crowd which while I understand and somewhat agree, I also believe people choose what they deserve, so that's her business lowkey.

Saying all that I'd be all over Marcus. He's passionate, fine as hell and he's super chill?! Already climbing that man personally.

Claircarmy (Claire x Carmy)

I don't care about Claire, so it's hard to care about the relationship.

As much as the Claire hate is entertaining to me (and very valid points have been made about her), I'm pretty neutral on her for the most part.

I will say, the fact that their relationship has been shown to be perfect up until the s2 finale and Carmy calling her a waste of time was all it took for her to walk away is hilarious.

Like, if you can't deal with Carmy saying one mean thing about you, you're not ready to be with him girl lol (especially when compared with--)

The show pushes this a lot so if they're endgame fine, I just want that plot point to be done my goodness.

Carmrich (Carmy x Richie)

I've read a couple of fics and woah?

I like this quite a bit.

Their dynamic is so engaging in the fics I've read.

I almost feel like I don't appreciate their relationship enough in the show.

Sydluca (Sydney x Luca)

Kind of yummy if it was endgame, eh if otherwise.

I'm being dramatic, see my post here for more context.

The actor is british so maybe my bias is showing with this ship ngl.

He's one of the few actors I recognised also.

They look kind of cute, or whatever.

Fak x Richie

They have moments for sure.

I get it.

Marcus x Luca

I never saw this honestly.

To me, it was feel-good to just see a black man eagerly learning in a healthy environment.

I want Marcus for me though, like I said so lol.

Nat x Pete

They're canon.

They go well together, though I will say I don't have a strong opinion on them.

I guess since we don't see any significant conflict with them/they're very stable there's not a lot of emotional weight?

Nat x Richie

I felt some vibes here and there, you know?

They're sweet.

Richie x Jess

It would make sense as a part of Richie's arc.

Funny how some people that ship them based on a couple of looks hate sydcarmy with 3 seasons worth of interactions though.

Michael x Richie

I feel like I'd like this like camrich, but also it might break my heart, so idk if I want to see what's up.

Marcus x Chester

Chester was chill, shame he only got two seconds in s3.

Knowing Marcus had someone outside the restaurant who's supportive was comforting.

Tina x David

They were adorable in "napkins".

Makes sense they're married irl.

Tina x Michael

Felt a vibe for a split second when she talked about him in s1 ngl.

If she didn't have a husband atp--

Sydney x Claire

I think I saw a fic with this on ao3. Don't care about Claire, so you know.

Richie x Tiff

Clearly there's still love there, shame with what happened to them.

Carmy x Luca

I don't see why not.

Carmy x Chef David

😳 I mean, I get the appeal but in the context of the show, yikes. (Not that I haven't shipping something "worse").

[symphonybracket]

YouTube Links: Mahler 5, Dvořák 9

Comments:

Mahler 5

Debatably Mahler's most widely liked symphony, Mahler's 5th is full of romantic, sweeping solos. The especially famous 4th movement is often performed at large funeral or memorial events. Personally I'm in love with the 2nd movement most! The third movement is also famous for it's "corno obligatto" (like a fancy solo horn that stands throughout that movement). Also please watch this hilarious 1 minute long youtube video of a dog who is anti-mahler 5:

[Video Description: a trumpet player playing various excerpts and exercises next to his dog. The dog howls when Mahler 5 opening bars are played. /end Video Description]

Dvořák 9

I know it's gonna get nominated a hundred times, but I have listened to it four times in a row in the past week so I gotta mention it. Exquisite bliss from first to last note.

it slays <3

When I heard the first movement for the first time, I was GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT because of how much I loved it. LIKE THIS IS SO YUMMY (link opens to the timestamp)

it's got everything. the interplay between minor and major. themes from the early movements that come back in the finale. the most iconic english horn solo in all of classical music. dvorak wrote it while traveling across the US and was directly inspired not only by his native czech/bohemian soundscapes but the musical languages he heard from black and native americans. there's a tuba part but it only plays for like five measures. fantastic orchestrations, making full use of all the different colors of the orchestra. the start of the finale sounds kinda like jaws. it is physically impossible for me to feel upset while i'm listening to it it's the first symphony i ever played in orchestra and i'm so normal about it that i want to get that EH solo tattooed on my art and also i wrote a paper about it for a university music history class and i got an A on it so it should definitely win the bracket or i'll cry

[sutherkins]

what dating peter sutherland is like part two 💌

• be prepared to have everything done for you whether you ask him to do it or not

• did you offhandedly mention the list of chores you need to do? dont worry about it, peters got it covered

• he likes to cook for you

• before he started dating you, he actually had no clue how to cook anything that wasnt super simple like boxed pasta

• in the early stages of the relationship he took cooking classes to get better and while hes not a professional, he can make you some pretty good homemade meals

• in return, you like to exercise your hobby for baking and make him a lot of sweet treats

• he loves watching competitive baking/cooking shows and no one can tell me otherwise

• you both love to watch them together and will wait until both of you are free to catch up on any episodes you missed

• he’s extremely supportive

• going to a pride parade? he’s there to support you (and everyone there) and have fun!

• a protest perhaps? he’ll stand right next to you with his own sign

• he loves dogs

• he loves being in nature

• any time he gets hurt he recites the names of his favorite basketball players to distract himself from the pain

• his favorite place to be is with you at his cabin

• he loves to give you gifts every once in a while especially if he notices that you’ve been eyeing something specific but havent gotten it for yourself yet

• staying in with you is his preferred way to have a date, hes not fond of being around people too much

• he’ll 100% take you to a restaurant, fancy or otherwise, if you want him to

• most of the time theyre diners or small businesses

• peter knows what having a panic attack is like so he for sure will help you out and have techniques and methods for you to try when you’re having one yourself

• this is inspired by @underoospeterparker wonderful period comfort fic that i requested and its that he will literally take care of Everything

• he’ll put a pad in your underwear for you so it’s all ready to go when you need it

• he’ll warm up a heating pad as soon as you ask

• buys you your favorite snacks and some extra pads or tampons (or whatever you use) when you start your period

• peter is like a human furnace so you like to lay on top of him like he’s a living heating pad for your tummy — he enjoys it very much

• he drives you to your therapy appointments and waits in the car until youre done

• he never asks what you talk about in therapy but you usually tell him anyway

• there arent really any secrets between the two of you

• there might have been some things neither of you wanted to talk about at first but eventually you both share them with one another

• peter is actually really funny and always tries to make you laugh

• playing against you is the only time he feels like he’s good at basketball 😭

• “you’re the one who didnt get into the nba!”

• “at least im tall enough to qualify!”

• he pokes fun at your short stature whenever he can

• peter is 6ft tall so he towers over you

• as hot as he thinks you look when you’re wearing his clothes he also finds it hilarious because theyre so long on you

• shirts? they reach your knees

• pants? always have to be rolled up at your hip otherwise you’ll step on the fabric at the bottom and trip yourself (you did this once and peter was very concerned but also couldnt stop laughing)

• he doesnt look after himself the way you think he should, so you’re always paying attention and making sure he’s eating/hydrating when he needs to and getting enough sleep

• i feel like one year for halloween you make him dress like spiderman because they have the same name and you dress as mary jane and do the iconic upside down spiderman kiss

• you’ve basically christened every single room in his apartment

• he might not like every single hobby you have or everything you have an interest in but he’ll always participate if you ask and you do the same for him

• you own skin safe markers and sometimes when you get bored you like to color in his tattoos. he actually really enjoys it and finds it relaxing

• speaking of tattoos

• when he realizes that you’re the one for him and that he wants to be with you for the rest of his life, he gets a tattoo of your initials on his arm

• when you find out about the tattoo you immediately book an appointment for yourself so you can get his initials tattooed on your hip or maybe your wrist

• when he sees it for the first time he thinks its so sexy that you have his initials permanently on your skin that he makes you orgasm like 5 times

• he knows you love homemade personal care products (soap, bath bombs, things like that) and will buy them for you all the time

• you always call him on your way home from work or whatever it is your doing that day and if you’re stressed he’ll set up a relaxing bath for you for when you get home

• and he goes all out

• he goes through your stash of products and even has new ones ready to add to your collection, a nice lavender bath bomb, some rose petals, ect

• he sets up a speaker to play relaxing music and even puts a small table next to the tub thats got some of your favorite snacks on it along with a bottle of water

• he loves to cuddle

• he is literally so needy when it comes to you and just wants any kind of affection he can get from you

[rinsuniverse]

Hello! I saw your reqs were open and couldn’t stop myself from sending you this. Woozi’s talked about how he goes to the gym every day, so what if he and the reader had gym dates? I can’t get the image out of my that when he’s doing push ups, you’d be underneath him and each time he gets closer to the ground you give him a kiss 🥹 OR you hold on to him like a koala (kinda how he’ll hold onto the other members) and he does pushups with you on his back

gym dates with woozi! ✧˖°.

hmm, to be honest with you, anon... i RARELY go to the gym

i exercise through lots of walking and home exercises, but gyms are so scary for me sometimes

and i feel like woozi wouldn't want to do anything with you in his actual gym he frequents besides gently spot you

but with that aside, i do think HOME gym dates with woozi would be fun..?

like if the gym was closed and he was just getting his workout in at home? ya know? so his pt wont be there?

(tbh if i was with someone like woozi, i'd just be like "ooh, good for you, go do your thing!" and just stay home and do my thing 😭)

i think woozi takes his workouts very seriously for the most part!

but if him and his s/o are alone and they have a weird suggestion (that he's comfortable with), then i'm sure he'd go ahead and fulfill after some persisting

i'm sure it'll start out more subtle, tho!

"oh, jihoon, you're about to do sit ups?"

"mhm. wanna join me?"

"i can hold your feet down."

"i know this kind of scenario... are you gonna make me kiss you every time i sit up?" he asks, laying down and propping his knees up

"i mean, the option is there for you!" you say, placing your hands on his shoes and leaning your body weight on his feet

he shakes his head before doing his first sit up

he looks at you with a stale face as you sit there with a proud smile

instead of kissing you, he bonks his forehead with yours, making you let go of one of his feet to rub your head

"ouch! hey, i'm not going to help you with this if you're gonna be like that!" you say, in complete disbelief

he's dying laughing on the floor as you sit there and scowl at him

he finds small inconveniences to his friends HILARIOUS

he regains his composure, and you both finish all the reps normally

when you're lazily sitting there, saying the last number, he leans closer and gives you a small peck on the nose before laying back down and relaxing

guys am i just desperate for small instances of love? because i want this so bad pls lord give me a woozi

"want to compete with me?" he asks as you fix your gym shorts

"as if i have any chance of winning," you counter, rolling your eyes. "i can challenge you with something."

"like what?"

"do a pushup with me on your back"

"pshhh," he scoffs, shaking his head with a bewildered expression on his face. "and if i fail, you're going to get your feelings all hurt."

"but you won't fail, right? because you're super strong?"

he shakes his head at you as he gets into pushup position

"what are you doing?"

"what are YOU doing? come cling onto me or something," he says, making you almost giggle out loud

you cling on to his body like a koala, and he stays there in the resting position, not being able to control his laughter

"this is how i have to do it? really?" he asks between laughs

"your ears are red!"

"don't look at my ears! you're touching a lot of me at once!"

"haha! i can get off if you want-"

"no, no, let me stop laughing. i'll try," he says, taking deep breaths

he finally manages to do two reps before falling back into the floor, breathing hard and laughing

you get off of him and kneel down where his face is turned

his face is all pink and you can't tell if it's from him feeling flustered or from the workout

"are you okay?" you ask in between laughs

"you're gonna be the death of me," he says, sitting up so he can bury his pink face in his hands. "why can't i say no to you?"

after that, he persists that you do some of your workouts

when you're doing weighted squats and lunges, he checks your form, ghosting your legs and upper body with his hands as he guides you

he softly corrects you and tells you it's important to do exercises in correct form in order for it to be most effective and keep you from injuring yourself

"you know you can actually touch me and move me so i can get into proper form, right?"

"huh?"

"you're barely touching me when you're correcting me. we're dating. i'm yours."

"oh," he says, nodding at you slowly. "wait, what did you say?"

"i'm yours..?"

"hmm," he slowly nods, but you watch him try to push away the smile growing on his face

he's definitely yours, too, but he'd never say that out loud

after that, whenever he wants you to make a micro adjustment, he gently takes your body and moves it in the way it needs to be, trying to touch you with the most respect

after you complete your workouts and you're sitting on the floor with him, you look at him with an evil smirk

"why are you looking at me like that?" he asks, pretending to be scared

"i have a new idea for you"

"uh oh"

"pushups!"

"we already did pushups."

"like 2!"

"ugh, you're right. what is it this time?"

"i want to lay under you as you do your pushups."

"won't that be uncomfortable for both of us?"

"it'll be romantic!"

"i'm not a romantic guy."

"but you're a gym bro with a gym s/o, so you have to deal with it."

"ugh."

"i mean, we don't have to."

"get over here, dummy," he says, pointing towards the floor

you lay down, trying not to laugh

he gets into push-up position on top of you and he CANNOT make eye contact with you

every time he looks at you, he starts laughing, and he cannot control it whatsoever

"just hurry and do one!"

"well, i can't get low to the ground like i'm supposed to!"

"then just go as low as possible!"

he does one pushup with his eyes closed, and as he lowers closer to you, you take the chance you give him a peck on the lips

he immediately gets off of you and walks to a corner, his jaw dropped in disbelief

"i'm sorry!" you say, laughing

"you're evil! let me do my pushups!"

"okay, you can do the rest normally."

"thank you so much. seriously."

and you both finish your workouts, helping each other every so often

thank you so much for requesting, anon! i know i kind of changed the prompt around a bit to make it seem more realistic to me, but i hope you like it nonetheless! feel free to request many, many more prompts for me! ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧

(p.s. requests are still open! i specialize in woozi stuff, but i don't mind writing about other svt members! i can also do some nsfw if you want! so request whatever and as much as you want! ς(>‿<.))

[fastfur07]

The Fruit Pops

Introducing a true feast for the eyes: the Fruit Pops! This team of Popplio is a clown alley like no other - they fit an entire circus performance (and themselves) into a bite-sized package.

The Fruit Pops use special collars in their act that shrink whatever goes down their throats, allowing the whole cast to pack away into one member's stomach (and create some hilarious physical comedy). Their show is divided into six acts, each led by a different member who swallows up the others.

Long post ahead ↓

Raz 

Raz is the daredevil of the group. Every time the group performs, he leads them through another spectacular stunt. Trapeze, high dive, human cannonball - with Raz at the helm, the group will do them all. And occasionally, he’ll double as a safety net. Despite their fearless appearance, Raz admits to stage fright occasionally.

Tan

Tan plays the role of a timid tightrope walker. His part of the performance carries tension as well as humour, as they guide the others across the tightrope, and leap in to save anyone who’s about to fall. When not performing, Tan is the most caring member, looking out for everyone in times of stress.

Lem 

Lem is outgoing, constantly full of energy, and a master of comedy. They lead the group in a traditional clown act, with witty setups and slapstick in equal measure - and Lem always finds a way to chase the others down into their belly at the end. Although it's a silent act, Lem is very talkative offstage, and often handles public relations.

Pep 

Pep is the group's juggler, and onstage they're insatiably curious, poking around and getting involved in everything that's going on. They’re also ambitious with their act: catching items in their mouth and juggling the other members? Why not! They love to experiment and often suggest new ideas for the rest of the group.

Blu

Blu is laid-back and casual, so their stage persona is a sleepyhead. He takes centre stage in the balancing act, and when the group inevitably tumbles, Blu is always there to catch them (in his mouth). They help the rest of the group to relax from performances - and incidentally, are the hungriest of the bunch.

Fig

Fig is a magician, and acts smug and confident while performing. Their repertoire never fails to wow the audience (sometimes even surprising the other group members), but Fig's favourite trick is always making their friends "disappear". In their spare time they love to exercise their mind, and always take care of chores.

Final notes:

The Fruit Pops are a freelance group; none of them had any circus experience before.

They aren’t comfortable with eating anyone outside their group yet.

They have Everstones, in case anyone was concerned.

[deusvervewrites]

Not to jump on the Eraserhead hate train (except I totally am, this shit is hilarious)

It really says something that, both in fics and small parts of canon, Izuku has done more to help 1-A with their emotional and quirk development than Aizawa has. Sure, main character syndrome and all, but how much has Eraser actually done in between doing the bare minimum as a teacher and sleeping under his desk?

And people will argue the exercises done during the summer camp arc as him helping with their quirks, but most of these are just things they either could have figured out on their own, already do, or just make sense if you look at their quirks and their drawbacks.

He also makes them run an eight hour march through the woods while being attacked by earth monsters and skipping their lunch, for some reason.

Hell, for most of them, the training is just "Use your Quirk as much as possible as quickly as possible."

I'm willing to be a bit lenient on Aizawa on this point because MHA's pacing is unrelenting and despite being a school we never see any classes or lessons, so it's probable that he's meant to be training them during time skips, but I do think it's very telling that when Midoriya flashes back to all the times Aizawa's been a good teacher... it's a panel invented for that flashback, and it's so generic you can't even tell what he's supposed to be doing, while Aizawa's flashback is instead to a very specific scene--"You can never be a Hero with that power."

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