#most cruel thing marvel has ever done to me

[arrumiekookie]

[revserrayyu]

3.1 Amphoreus thoughts [part 2]

***Spoilers ahead*** for everything up until the rematch with the Flame Reaver, so turn away now if you don’t wanna get upset. At the time of writing this I’ve completed the full story quest so be wary if I mention any details that may happen later.

Starting off nice and calm with the ladies heading to the hot baths for some fun and sweet lord how did Aglaea become even prettier?? I’m in awe.

This whole splitting of the souls chatter reminds me of Harry Potter horcruxes. Becoming a demigod doesn’t seem like the most fantastical job in the world if it comes with such a big drawback, such as this or having your emotions slowly fade (as seen with Aglaea). I can only wonder what Mydei will have to deal with now.

The teasing just never ends between these two and it’s giving me life. Every interaction they have is such a joy to listen to.

Dang, no wonder our boy couldn’t overcome the trail. He was faced with the most tragic day of his life and all the trauma that came with it.

Okay thank heavens someone said it! Every time Mydei would mention how fear/fleeing/romance or any other word that shows weakness isn’t in the Kremnoan language I wanted to ask him like, okay, so what words are there then??

Mydei speaks so fondly of his fallen comrades. Being immortal really is cruel, and it hurts even more that we walk past all of his buddies again in a memory where they’re so excited to see him return.

At some point, Mydei’s teacher infiltrates the vortex by sorta kinda kidnapping Trinnon to do so and after going through this long spiel about the future of Mydei and the Kremnoans that I truthfully wasn’t paying that close attention to, Aglaea decides enough is enough and doesn’t hesitate to most likely execute him.. until Trinnon speaks up. I can’t lie, I genuinely find it a bit comical how quick this woman is to just end anyone who dares break any rules in this city.

So.. this image. First things first, I love that he uses such language at his father. Secondly, can I trade places with him? I’d love to open my eyes and see this marvelous man looking down on me. Step on me, king~

Poor guy has every one of his people wishing to return home to Kremnos someday with him as their king and yet he’s terrified on letting the miserable traditions continue if he decides to take the crown. It really is a difficult decision. Do you keep everyone safe and unhappy, or allow them to thrive in a world of danger?

Oohhh buddy, why must everyone on this planet be gorgeous?? Her mom is looking like a long lost cousin of Argenti and Himeko.

Not gonna lie but this whole scene with the dolls felt so Sparkle coded that it scared me. I honestly jumped the first time everything glitched out.

Well that’s a bright, red death flag if I ever saw one. Some trailers already gave me bad feelings regarding Tribbie, but this worsens it.

Pfftt, Aglaea has no chill and I’m here for it. Protect your people, queen!

I mean, sure, choosing how you pass on individually on your own terms may be better than losing every part of yourself all at once, but Aglaea has a point too, that seeing the many Tribios clones perish over and over again is a lot harder than having it happen just once and being done with. It’s not an easy situation to be in for either side.

It really is incredible how powerful these century gates are and it kinda reminds me of Finral’s spacial magic (Black Clover) the way it’s able to teleport others and redirect incoming attacks or enemies.

If I wasn’t already panicking then I sure am now! Look how upset and scared these cuties are! They know Trianne’s pushing herself too far for their sake and there’s truly nothing that they could do to stop what happens next, especially after seeing how much weaker she’s been getting recently.

Aaahhh, I knew it.. seeing this scene from the Song of Divine Silence trailer gave me such bad vibes from the moment I saw it! And after learning the whole meaning behind “see you tomorrow” just makes everything hurt twice as much!! Trianne was definitely my favorite out of the trio too.. this is such a bummer!

We interrupt the sudden heartbreak to bring you an adorably surprised Trailblazer.

I do love that Mydei trusts Phainon with his one and only weakness. I dunno how thrilled I’d be if such a literal backstabbing does take place in a future patch though.

Anaxa, the renowned scholar, using his gun as a shield against the Flame Reaver.. he’s doing his best. Forgive me but I do not remember much of this cutscene to know if he ever used the weapon the proper way. I was in a mix of tears and hype at this point.

Bro look at how relieved Phainon is when he noticed that Mydei has arrived to help them with the fight! That’s such a wonderful smile.

Sir, your confidence! It’s extraordinary! And I’m also very pleased with your sudden assistance!

Just two bros, ready to go knock some sense into a common enemy. What could possibly be better than that?

Okay, so I dunno about everyone else, but how did we feel about this fight? I personally had no trouble at all, even when we first fought him at the grove. The way they showcased him during the 3.1 livestream, I figured he was gonna be serious trouble, but I think the Nikador boss offered a tougher challenge. I didn’t even get the chance to see this dude’s big, fancy attack animation.

Look at him, protecting his man. What a good lad. We still dunno anything about what Phainon’s path or element would be, but for some reason he gives Preservation vibes? like I know he wields a giant sword and is quite capable of using for offense, but seeing him defend Mydei like this makes me think he can use it as a sort of counter I guess? Maybe give me a taunt too? Who knows. We definitely need more Preservation units though.

All hail the new king successfully securing another win for all.

I feel like a whole lot just happened in such a short amount of time. Next post should cover the rest of this patch.

[achaotichuman]

What's the best tamcien smut fic would you recommend to me? Also are you open in being sent a tamcien smut fic as a gift 👀

HIHIHIHIHIHI

You have come to the right place for recs, I am the resident rec dealer, here are all the tamcien smut fics on AO3, all of them I have read at least multiple times.

I am quite tired at the time of compiling this list, so there is a chance I have missed some, so I would reccomend looking through the Ao3 Tamcien tag to see all the marvelous works all the Tamcien creators have made!

And YESYESYESYESY I AM VERY OPEN TO BEING SENT TAMCIEN SMUT AS A GIFT, YESPLS!!!

Am I making you feel sick? by @yaralulu

Lucien wasn’t a fool. He'd seen the hatred in Tamlin’s eyes, the confusion and disgust vast as he looked him up and down. And yet after the treaty meeting, he seeked him out in his tent anyways. He wasn’t foolish enough to beg for forgiveness.

my lord (and only mine) by @yaralulu

Lucien takes care of his High Lord after he comes back from a rather stressful meeting with his council. “Why not? You’re my High Lord. It seems fitting it, doesn’t it?” Cruel, teasing words, Lucien knew, but he couldn’t help himself. It was just too much fun having that kind of power over Tamlin. It felt too good to see him crumble all because Lucien wore his shirt and called him a certain nickname. Too fun and too easy. “I’m also your friend. Do friends call each other such things?” “Friends.” The corners of Lucien’s lips twitched up unwillingly at that word. “Is that what we are?”

The Fox and The Hound by @samhatch

Every Fire Night since Lucien joined Spring Court, Tamlin has always sought him out to help release the last of the spirits that possessed him. But now that he's mated with Feyre, Tamlin won't need Lucien's help anymore... Or will he? ********************************************************** “I thought you wouldn’t come.” I admitted. I tried to keep my heart from beating too quickly, knowing his heightened senses could hear it. He said nothing in reply, and walked slowly toward me. As gently as the morning dew, he pressed his lips to mine, but I could feel the hunger behind it barely kept at bay. His scent filled my nose, trampled moss and lilac. “What about Feyre?” I asked. “She’s asleep,” he said as he crawled into my bed.

The Wolf and the Fox by @tsunami-of-tears

Alpha Tamlin/Omega Lucien Tamlin is having a rut at the most inconvenient time. Lucien is a cocky shit and not helping the issue.

The Rite of Spring by @nocasdatsgay

Day 6 Poly Week: Celebrations A Calanmai fic. Tamlin and Flora complete the rite, going to find their loves once it is done and the next day help with cleaning up the festivities

Edging || Lucien Vanserra x Tamlin by @sharksscripting

Oct. 21st 2033 — Kinktober Lucien returned to the Spring Court for a visit when he sees it in a worst state than ever, after talking—arguing—with Tamlin feelings evolve and they end up making love.

Cockwarming || Lucien Vanserra x Tamlin by @sharksscripting

Oct. 28th 2023 — Kinktober Part Two of: 𝐄𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 || 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐓𝐚𝐦𝐥𝐢𝐧 — The Spring Court has been regrowing and that causes Tamlin’s workload to triple. Lucien finds a way to help.

A sunbeam shining bright into the night by @nocasdatsgay

After the Great Rite ritual is completed, Tamlin always goes back to the Manor to see if Lucien is waiting for him. This year he is. Tamlin Week 2023 Day 3 Possessive

Play With Fire by Sam Tinnesz by @trshtffc

Calanmai fire just got a bit too hot (Bonus chapter/prequel for In This Peace) (pre ACOTAR)

And an NSFW Tamcien fanart series by @samhatch

Not Safe For Tumblr

Below are all the smut fics I've written.

Hedonism

Tamlin has never been good with words. Much less relationships, of any kind at all. He doesn't know how to fix this; he doesn't know if there's any possibility of this being fixed. But he has to try, for the man that is everything he's ever needed. He will try.

A Proposition

The High Lords meeting is being held in the Night Court, and Lucien is bored out of his brains, but when he realises the Heirs of Night and Spring have slipped off, what would have once been a very boring day suddenly becomes the opportunity for something he'd never even thought of.

Naked Poetry

The Seasonal Courts are gathering for an annual meeting. With tensions growing between the Courts, they aim to settle what they can and allow the magic to return to harmony as it was before the Curse of Amarantha. But after so long away, the magic of each Court is writhing for its sister. From Spring's weakened magic, the power of the Seasons is demanding rejuvenation. Magic comes with a price, and this is theirs. Title from Naked Poetry by SKYLAR would recommend listening to whilst reading.

If you want to see more Tamcien content, I would also recommend checking out my main fanfiction rec masterlist and my personal masterlist

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

that being said, my actual biggest issue w/ the bnha ending is Deku being a quirkless hero with an armoured All Might-esque supersuit.

now heres the thing, I don't hate Deku ending the story as quirkless. I, like loads of other people, assumed from fairly early on assumed that bnha would end either with Deku going back to being quirkless or, if not that, back to not having any of the OFA vestiges' quirks and just having that 'base' OFA super strength/speed, with which he could still continue being a pro hero

the thing is, I had always assumed that if bnha did go down the 'Deku loses OFA entirely and goes back to being quirkless' route then as a result of that, the whole 'this is the story of how I became the greatest hero' thing from the beginning of the story would take on a new light. the reveal would be that we, the audience, already saw Deku become the greatest hero over the course of the 2 wars and defeating AFO/Shigaraki, and/or that he would become the 'greatest hero' but not the kind hero that the audience assumed, instead working as a quirkless teacher/villain outreach worker/quirk analyist/hero assiant/etc.

and that would be pretty poignant endind would it not? a re-emphasising of this idea that its not just the pros who are heroes, but that everybody in society who 'reaches out' and works to make the world a better place is a hero too, regardless of how 'strong' they may or may not be, that it was never truly about having a powerful quirk and being a pro superhero, but by stopping those who want to do harm, and saving people, that's what truly made Deku the greatest hero

and like bnha's finale did kinda do that a bit with Deku being a heroics teacher at UA for eight years but then it, in my opinion, ruined that by having Deku become a quirkless-with-a-supersuit pro hero.

the thing is, if Deku couldve been a quirkless pro hero this whole time, then there was no reason for All Might to even give him OFA, and for the story as a whole, to happen. and I'm sure some people will counter that point by saying like 'oh but the suit cost LOADS of money' or 'but they were only able to make the suit after analysing the data from All Might's fight with AFO', but to me that just further proves why Deku getting a supersuit so he can be a quirkless pro hero is dumb.

All Might is the no.1 hero in Japan and is globally renowned, if he wanted to secure the funding to make Deku some kind of supersuit he couldve done that right when he met Deku as a quirkless middle schooler, but he didn't. in fact, when explicitly asked by Deku if he could become a hero, even without a quirk, All Might told him that being a quirkless pro hero was impossible. he didn't say that to be cruel or because he's fantasy-ableist or whatever, he said that because he genuinely believed it to be the truth, and he was right.

the fact that support items are not replacements for quirks and actual hero-ing skill/talent is established fairly early on. All Might mentions, some time around the sports festival if I remember correctly, that he's seen heroes who are overly reliant on their support items become useless/a liability once those items break. its a nice and tidy in-universe justification for why every hero isnt walking around with robot armour and ray guns and what have you. and okay, sure, bnha's finale is set eight years in the future, it could be reasonable to assume that in that time, plus with all the funding provided by class 1-a and All Might, that the support industry has really developed and Deku's supersuit is some absolute top of the line technology.

even then, there's still a glaring issue. we saw the exact scenario All Might described play out, WITH All Might. his supersuit was technological marvel, it let him get some genuine damage in on the most powerful villain ever, but ultimately it broke, and without it All Might was unable to fight, and became a liability that had to be rescued. and I'm not saying that to trash on All Might or anything, that is literally just how that quirkless-hero-with-a-supersuit scenario worked out for him.

and okay, sure, you could argue that Deku's supersuit, developed in the eight years since the war, using the data from that fight, and likely with even more money put into it, is a lot better than All Might's supersuit was, and also that it took AFO to wreck All Might's supersuit and its unlikely that there'll ever be a villain that powerful ever again so Deku doesn't have to worry about his own suit in the same way. and sure, you could even argue that non-quirkless pro heroes still have times when they're unable to use their quirks for one reason or another, and just have to rely on their own strength/skills/etc the same way Deku would if his supersuit broke or malfunctioned

but even with all that, my problem is is that it was established, multiple times, why it wasnt a viable option for Deku to just be a quirkless pro hero who used support items, and if the narrative wants to roll that back and go, no, wait, it is actually a totally viable option, then it just begs the question of why don't all pro heroes have supersuits, why is Deku the first quirkless person to become a pro hero in this way, and why, if this was an option, did the story even have to bother with Deku inhereting OFA and learning to make it his own power?

i get what they're going for here, having Deku be a quirkless pro hero with a supersuit is trying to play into the whole 'it was never the power, but rather who midoriya izuku is as a person, that makes him a great hero' but if you ask me its just such a cheap and deus ex machina-y way of doing it???

i genuinely think Deku either being quirkless and instead working in some other way that helps people and/or helps pro heroes help people OR keeping OFA (minus the vestiges' quirks) and going on to a pro hero, and in either scenario, having a moment with All Might and/or Bakugou where they emphasise to him that he is, and always was, a hero, regardless of a quirk, would just be infinitely more narratively coherent and satisfying

the bnha ending isnt terrible, and im certainly not saying people can't like it or trying to drag them if they do, but i am say that me, personally, i dont like it all that much, AND i think its bad writing

[cookinguptales]

Y'know, I post a lot on tumblr about what a shit Guillermo is, and I stand by that. He is a marvelous little shit. But honestly I only talk about it so much because people on tumblr and AO3 send me so many messages about how he's never done anything wrong in his life. When I'm presented with the opposite, that Guillermo is uniquely awful and selfish and he victimizes the poor uwu vampires (thinkpieces that you saw a lot more often during s3) I am fully like "I STAND BY EVERY DECISION THAT FOOLISH MAN HAS EVER MADE."

Being real with you, I feel like talking about Guillermo like he's totally blameless and put-upon or like he's totally selfish and wholly evil flattens a really complex and interesting character. He's selfish and self-involved and cruel and sweet and insecure and giving. He's all those things, and I love that about him.

I love Guillermo as a character because he has these carefully constructed categories in his head, these rules and boundaries that he sticks to like glue. He contains multitudes, and it's because he carefully follows the rules he has in his own head, even when they don't make a lot of sense to others.

I think the best way to think about Guillermo's actions is to think about him having two very different sets of rules for in-groups and out-groups. He will bend over backward for people in his in-group, will be the kindest, most patient, sweetest man in the world -- but he can be downright vicious to people in the out-group.

This is a pretty common occurrence IRL, though not always to the degree that Guillermo does it... I mean, you're going to treat your best friend's birthday differently than you're gonna treat a stranger's, right? When you start seeing it happen the way Guillermo does it, though, it's often to create and preserve power. You see it in politics, high school cliques, religion, etc.

For example, let's take new religious movements (or NRMs, i.e. "cults".) They are famous for this behavior. When you create distinct in-groups and out-groups and can behave very differently towards both, you give your followers a strong incentive to stay in the in-group. It makes them feel like they're the "good" ones, the superior ones, the ones with power. The ones that belong. And when they see out-groups being mistreated, well. No one wants to be in the group with no power who's mistreated, y'know? It simultaneously gives people in the in-group a sense of community, belonging, and social superiority and makes them afraid to leave.

But really, you see it all the time. If you have a "good" group that you can never harm and a "bad" group that you can do anything to, that really helps prop up power structures in a lot of ways. Look, I'm not going to get into this too much more because you don't want a freaking academic lecture on your dash, but suffice it to say that I think Guillermo is largely using his in-groups and out-groups in this way, mentally speaking.

He has in-groups (his friends, his family, his boyfriend, the vampires he lives with) and out-groups (literally everyone else, including other vampires) and he badly mistreats the out-groups because he does not want to be one of them. I've noticed he's particularly awful to human prey that reminds him of himself (nerdy, socially awkward, powerless, virginal) and I think that's because he wants to distance himself from them. He wants to make sure no one mistakes him as being part of that group, so he very strongly pushes them into his out-group by not only killing them, but making fun of them and often making sure they suffer before they die.

And then he's even more slavishly devoted to his in-groups, partially because he does truly love them, but partially because he desperately wants to stay in those groups. Or because he's trying to protect his own hide.

I don't mean to say that every kind thing he does is calculated -- I do think he very genuinely wants to make the people he loves happy -- but there's a sort of desperation to it sometimes. When he does these kind things, sometimes it's this desperate bid to be valued and accepted by others in his in-group, which makes him feel like he's earned his place there.

I've noticed that Guillermo has a tendency to do things for people to stay in their good graces (buying his mom a fridge, doing chores for Nandor, giving Derek money) when what they actually want is his time and attention. There often is a vibe that he's trying to earn his way into a group he doesn't quite feel entitled to when actually he's already very much a part of the group and he just needs to maintain those relationships. It's insecurity, frankly, and a nervous sort of self-preservation.

In fact... I'd say that Guillermo's greatest emotional struggles often come when trying to reconcile (and protect) different members of his in-group because he's trying to reconcile (and protect!!!) the different parts of himself.

Like... when he protected Jeremy, he was protecting a friend, but also the idea that some weak, virginal nerds are not prey. He had to protect this member of his in-group, partially because he loved him, but partially because he had to protect himself by extension. If Jeremy could be an exception to the predator-prey dynamics, so could he. Some humans could be valuable.

When he protected his fellow familiars during the familiar fights, he was protecting fellow humans whom he thought had "earned" a better life (and death) than prey humans, but he was also protecting the idea that a familiar could be loved and valued. He was protecting himself and the hope that Nandor would love him.

When he protected his family, he was protecting his beloved family members, but also the idea that vampires and slayers could coexist. Of course he doesn't want his family to die, but he's also doesn't want his hopes that he can have it all to die with them.

Let's all be real with each other here. Guillermo kills humans, and he does so without compunction. He is able to utterly dehumanize prey humans because he has a vested interest in emotionally distancing himself from them. But he gets kind of freaked out when the humans that he has mentally removed from that prey group (his friends, his family, people "like him") are not placed into that same exempt group by others. And this is definitely because he wants to protect those he loves!

But it's also because it means that he isn't special, either.

Let's talk about Freddie, who I think is probably the most complicated example of all this in the entire show. (Save perhaps Derek, who could probably get an entire post to himself because he went from out-group to in-group without Guillermo's consent.) When Freddie first arrived at the house, Nandor mistook him for prey. This understandably freaked Guillermo out, partially because he wanted to protect his boyfriend and partially because it was violating Guillermo's group dynamics.

(Insert meta here about Freddie representing Guillermo's ability to have a happy life outside of the weird, insular one he'd created for himself prior to s4.)

Freddie ended up being kind of special, though, because Guillermo considered him to be part of his in-group and Nandor considered him an out-group until he realized that Guillermo valued him. And then Nandor wanted him to not just be part of his in-group, but a portion of it separate from (but simultaneously representing) Guillermo. It's complicated!!

So we had Freddie 1 who was Guillermo's and Freddie 2 who was Nandor's, but... in the end, Freddie really belonged to no one but himself, right? In the end, he very literally chose himself. He left the -group dynamic altogether.

So Freddie is moving in and out of these groups like a fuckin' oiled-up eel that Guillermo cannot keep a hold of, and that really challenges his control issues as well as his ability to feel like he belongs in the in-groups he's created. It challenges his ability to feel worthy and loved and like he belongs anywhere. It challenges his ability to have faith that he'll ever become a vampire. Suddenly he does not control these groups anymore. If anything, they're controlling him.

While a lot of Guillermo's angst at the end of s4 was about, y'know, normal heartbreak... I think a lot of that was happening, too. He was really seeing the abrupt overturning of the carefully established rules and groups and boundaries and power differentials in his head, and that made him just want to be free of the whole thing.

So he took a step out of all of his preconceptions about what he did and did not have to do to belong in these groups, and took hold of his own destiny.

...unfortunately.

Guillermo's decisions in s4, both regarding his family and his turning, really did permanently shake up a lot of the group dynamics in the show. For better? For worse? (FOR GOOD...? lmao) It's hard to say, honestly. But I'm eager to see how he irons it all out in his head!

Our able-to-self-justify-literally-anything bitch. 💜

[doctorpandorica]

So Fanfiction, Deadpool and Wolverine, and Logan, made have a fucking epiphany about my mental health. PART TWO,

HERE IS A LINK TO THE FIRST HALF!!!

JUST WANT TO FIRST ACKNOWLEDGE (I'll stop all caps soon) THESE MOTHER FUCKING ANGELS!!!!

As well as this talented Mother fucker, Artist Jack Kirby who helped create X-men

with this literally Angel,

After being inspired by the Civil Rights movement. Particularly Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcom X, which absolutely shows. Especially when you watch the 1992 Animated series, pleased do, which I am at the moment.

ssss

So...on to this grumpy bestest boy

He lived through so much pain, snarky little fuckable fuck. However, he never let it make him cruel, he did the right thing, even if it pissed him off. And didn't deserve to die in Logan, nor did Charles especially as he did.

Which really quick, Ian McKellen made a off handed quip about wanting to know why he wasn't in the film. And I demand to know why as well, Magneto was pure sass and spite, he would not go gently into that good night. And even if he did, we deserved to see it, even if it destroyed us. Even though it wouldn't have made sense because, he is able to beat that alleged cure but, not this virus? Which makes me question, if Charles was still capable of those long lucid moments, why not transfer himself into a new body like before? Also most importantly, picture Logan during that dinner scene, addressing them as his two dads. Erik squirming socializing with ...Homo Sapiens, having to content with the faults in his crusade.

Anyway then I saw, Deadpool and Wolverine, please go see it!!!!! The very end with the delightful complication of the original Franchise, wrecked me emotionally and at first I didn't understand. To Understand that beyond the crushing heart ache I associate with nostalgia, as opposed to contentment as it should. And started the long process about a week of asking myself why?

Which resulted in the essay, you hopefully didn't suffer too much through before and I just had to get it all out. Which is why there are so many grammatical errors, never been my strong suite.

Also Marvel Jesus' journey of self worth and Ryan Reynolds seeing that motherfucker as the wonderful man that he is

Seriously going to make a list of all the amazing things he has done

, showing that what never fails in good old fashion story telling ands opposed to money grubbing. That movie

That is how you give the people what they ACTUALLY WANT and more importantly what they ACTUALLY NEED. Imagine what would've happened if Disney let them do what ever he wanted,

Aside from Wolverine never putting his greasy tits away. Seriously hate myself when I get feral for him, because Hugh Jackman has the sweetest face and I hate myself.

Thank you and Goodnight....

I need to eat before I post Some funny ass, at least too me, Deadpool shit I just thought of

REMEBER.....

 IT IS NEVER TOO LATE !!! EVEN IF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE TOMORROW!!! HAPPINESS MAY NOT BE A CHOICE BUT THE PATH TO IT IS!!!

[againaweasel]

001 wolfbucks

Omg thank you for the ask!

when I started shipping it if I did:  I don’t know when I started shipping them, it must have been at least a decade by now. They come and go.

my thoughts:  I love them I love them. Although I prefer it in an AU if it’s reciprocated. 

I said this on Tiktok a while ago, but to me Wolfbucks/Moonchaser are what a lot of people want Wolfstar to be. It has a similar dynamic to the fanon wolfstar - popular, intelligent, good-looking James who doesn’t care about Remus’ lycanthropy and desperately wants to help and is overall rather lovely to smart, funny Remus. Except wolfbucks is like that right out of the gate, whereas with Wolfstar it takes ignoring their existing dynamic to get to that point. James and Remus are Anderperry (Dead Poets Society) to a fucking T.  

What makes me happy about them:  James often goes out of his way to step in to protect Remus. when Sirius betrays him, it’s James who stops it ruining Remus’ entire life, when Sirius believes Remus is a Death Eater it’s James who doesn’t.  And James is canonically Remus’ sugar daddy. 

These aren’t “poor little Remus can’t protect himself” moments but James seeing something he could do and doing it, whilst battling against a world that’s undeniably cruel to Remus.  In my mind, Remus deserves a soft place to land in his relationships. The world is toxic enough to him already, give him snippets of peace. Even if it’s messy or far from perfect like wolfbucks is. 

What makes me sad about them: In canon, I think it’s unreciprocated on Remus’ end. Remus is in love with James, and James is just like that with everyone. He doesn’t even notice and Remus doesn’t tell him. He tries to be happy for James and Lily, but he doesn’t talk about Lily much after their deaths because the feelings are too complicated and so, whilst Sirius will bring up Lily, Remus can’t. 

And I think James would pick Sirius in canon if he had the chance to pick [Sirius would pick James even without the choice].

things done in fanfic that annoys me: There are so few wolfbuck’s fanfics that I can’t pick something for this, I will take anything even it annoys me. 

things I look for in fanfic: Aus Aus Aus. 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:  For James it’s Prongsfoot or Jily.  For Remus, it’s always Tonks. Although he had a fling with Benjy Fenwick. 

My happily ever after for them:  Living? James has to be the one to figure out that Remus likes him, I think he’s secure enough to do that, and Remus becomes a quidditch journalist so he can go to James’ matches (who is obviously a quidditch player) 

who is the big spoon/little spoon: James is the little spoon most of the time, he demands it. But Remus is the little spoon around the full moon. 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity Chess. James has a brilliant tactical mind and Remus likes to marvel at it. 

[ashilrak]

20 Questions Writer Meme

I was tagged by @skywalking-through-life! This is super fun omg, thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

210!

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,670,384 words, which feels insane

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, Percy Jackson! I tend to be pretty one fandom at a time, but in the past I've written for Hamilton, Harry Potter, and Marvel to name a few.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Electing Strange Perfections (1,951)

If You Ask Me For My Fire (1,842)

See The Beast You've Made Of Me (1,769)

On Each Other's Team (1,656)

Come Loaded With The Safety Switched Off (1,604)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I'm a huge believe in fandom as a community, and fanfiction as an avenue for that community vs just 'content'. I love answering questions and talking about the fics, and I've honestly made some amazing fandom friends in comments on fics. I think commenting is a really valuable part of community-building in fandom, and I think that replying to comments helps with that :)

6. What's the fic you wrote that has the angstiest ending?

I think this is all a matter of perspective, but I definitely have a few that are regarded as angsty even if I don't necessarily see them that way? Picking one, I might have to say See The Beast You've Made of Me.

7. What's the fic you wrote that has the happiest ending?

This is harder to answer lol, a lot of my happier fics are more moments, rather than a having an ending with build-up. But, Love Has A Way To Find Ya (Sneaks Up Right Behind Ya) is the first one that comes to mind!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have actually been very fortunate in this regard! I've had a few negative comments for sure, but most are more along the lines of "stopping reading here" or just poorly worded. I have several fics I've been more worried about, but locking the fics has seemed to discourage anyone who wants to be senselessly cruel! A lot of what I write isn't to everyone's taste, so some less than perfect comments come with that territory.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I absolutely have lmao. I haven't been in the mood for it recently, but I have my fair share. As for what kind, it depends on the ship and dynamic, and how seriously I'm treating it lol. I've written daddy kink to casual pegging to sweet losses of virginity.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not really? I have a few ideas that have broached crossover territory, but I don't make a habit or it!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, though not recently. I'm sure there's a lot more out there in all honesty, but I've only stumbled across it once or twice on random websites when I've had the thought to google my username.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I've been fortunate to have a couple translated, and it's always the most amazing feeling ever.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I've co-written quite a few! I've done round-robins as well as more formal collabs where both authors are working together and writing together throughout the process. I really enjoy doing them and have written some of my favorite fics with others! They're definitely challenging, but I think I have the benefit of being pretty adaptable.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

So one thing you need to know about me is that I'm really bad at favorites. I think my favorite canon ship amongst my fandoms would be Percabeth, but my favorite ship for reading fanfiction for would, historically, be Tomarry/Harrymort/whatever you want to call it.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

I am actively determined to finish the ones first coming to mind, but honestly the one I doubt I'll ever do anything with is the AU lovingly referred to as Percy French Whore lmfao

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think my adaptability is my greatest strength. I definitely have themes and patterns I fall into, but overall I try to keep an open-mind to ships, aus, and more. I've gone back and forth between past and present tense, I've written over 25 ships for PJO alone. There's very little I look at and think I can't write, even if it takes some time to come around to it/make it work for me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think my biggest weaknesses have to do with managing a story as a whole. I have these grand ideas, but I struggle to bring them to Completeness. I'll have dreams of showing a realistic development of a character from the one we know and love to something twisted and taken advantage of and miss a few beats, and drop a few characters and plot points along the way. I'm also not the best at worldbuilding. I'm a pretty low-context type of person, and it's highlighted in a fanfction type of environment. I'll get questions about worldbuilding in fics--and they'll be GOOD questions--and I'll sit there with my head tilted at the screen wondering why anyone would think of that 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I like the idea of it, but would definitely need help from a native speaker. I got overly confident with my high school Spanish classes and made an attempt and I will never be doing that again.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Twilight. First fandom I read for, first fandom I posted for. Twilight was how I discovered fanfiction.net and started me down this path.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This is almost impossible to answer just because there are so many factors at play, but the first two (very, very different fics) coming to mind are both collabs: HAUNT ME, THEN— with @mrthology and The Murder Monologues with @theinevitablesense

I tag @sappho-of-space 💛

[voidtouched-blue]

[ flower hc meme ] anemone, forget - me - not & zinnia

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ?  where does that world view come from   (what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .   ) ?  

Excellent question!

Cyra sees the world as both a heartless hell and a place to be marveled at. If it weren't for the ingenuity of man, then the land would be far more peaceful than it was. From the moment she was born, she had been treated as though her very existence was a burden. Being brought into the world under a new moon (or an empty one as her tribe refers it as) has rather important social and practical implications in their society. Being born without the light of the moon meant that her role in life was useless. Her only benefit to their clan was to be sold so that the island could prosper. It's the cruelty of man that she resents, and it was only perpetuated when the Garleans spent the entirety of her life performing experiments to forge her into a weapon of their own. There were few things during her imprisonment that kept her from losing herself to the violence committed against her. One of which was the decision that she would not allow herself to be like them. She would use her hands to heal, and not to harm as the Imperials intended. Yet, even then, she still struggles with the vengeful rage built up within her as a way to protect herself. She very much struggles to try to view the world in a brighter light. After all, it's difficult to understand peace and a gentle breeze when she was born into the dark of the world.

forget - me - not :   has your muse ever forgotten something that is or was important to them ?   are they afraid of forgetting things like that ?  

There is a point in her life where she does forget the morals and values that she tries to live by. Lost in her grief after the death of a beloved friend, she ignored all else in favor of a study that would end up being a curse. She forgot the whole reason why she became a white mage in the first place. She lost her sense of belonging and purpose the moment she realized she couldn't protect her friends from death. Having few people in her life that knew about her past made her feel isolated, and without the understanding of having someone she can truly rely on, losing that one person absolutely broke her.

In another point, she is afraid of forgetting herself. She's afraid of losing herself to that wrathful anger at the world for what its done to her. That anger is only amplified by the experiments done on her by the Imperials as they wanted to tap into a rage they could control. But since she escaped before their research and testing was finished, she is an incomplete product with a delicate trigger. She's afraid of losing control and harming others, which she has absolutely done before.

zinnia :   how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ?   has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ?

I somewhat answered this in the previous one, but I'll go into more depth.

As incorrect as the lesson is, Cyra has learned that forming bonds with others will only lead to pain. It's really quite dramatic if you look at it this way, but she genuinely believes that creating friendships is a death sentence to those she comes to care for. The only two people in her life (up to the point in the story that most people choose to interact with her at) have disappeared or died. Both of which, she had what she considered a really strong connection with. They were the only two people who knew about her history with Garlemald, and they didn't pity her for the suffering she had already lived through. They encouraged healing, and provided her with that sense of security and confidence in her own abilities. They gave her the strength to push back against the fear that constantly ran through her as her own blood.

Losing them meant losing everything. She didn't care about the peaceful life she now had, or the freedom that was hard fought and earned. She didn't care about how impressive it was for her to learn not one, but three methods of healing to further secure the health and safety of her companions and any who seek her aid. Of course this is only covering the story up to Shadowbringers, and she does eventually learn Sage as well as dabbling in Alchemy only for the purpose of having a method that doesn't entirely require the use of Aether to aid others.

If anything, losing loved ones and comrades has pushed her to self-isolate more. If she can't form connections and friendships with others, then it won't hurt as much when they die or leave as fate decides. Though, this has also lead her to become close with a handful of people on accident. She craves having someone she can tell her fears to. She doesn't want to suffer through her painful memories alone. And on occasion, she's accidentally stepped out of that cold fortress only to realize she's become too close to someone. The process of building that wall back up again in itself is painful, and it leaves her conflicted. This heavy contradiction of wants versus needs in her heart and soul are what drives her actions. She wants to be comforted. She wants to be cared for. Yet, in the same strand she cannot allow it for the sake of her own sanity. The constant tug-of-war with her desires has left her rather frayed. She's more likely to lash out at people or have heavy mood-swings the longer she takes to realize that she's let someone in on her life. And then the comfort of another becomes a sword in the chest, twisted slowly the longer she takes to push them away.

Losing others has taught her that she is too weak to process the loss of that comfort. She learns that it is better to bear the pain alone, to become strong through the weight she stacks on her own shoulders, than to allow another to be crushed by the same gravity that all living things share.

Thank you so much for this! I had a blast writing it all out!

[wanderingsentiments]

An Ever-Shifting Understanding of Love

a letter to my beloved, who has the only personalized version of this poem

Love takes the form of many things, my darling. To some love is a heated blanket on a frightfully cold winters night. To some, it is a mug of tea and a quilted blanket after the night of an accident on a frozen road, with a bandage on your head from when you hit it on the steering wheel. Sometimes it is a hand holding yours during a difficult moment of conversation, meant to comfort and ground you when you feel you may be lost at sea.

Sometimes love is a hand upon your shoulder, which is meant to comfort. But sometimes a hand upon your shoulder is not a gesture of love. It is a method of control, a way to force someone’s will upon another.  Sometimes love is a set of arms wrapped around you from behind, meant to comfort you after a difficult day. But sometimes arms around your shoulders intend to throw you to the ground, and take control over your body brutally. sometimes these arms squeeze those within them meaning to comfort and create joyful connection, but without realizing it we separate the ribs and destroy the backs that hold up the smiles of those we love.  Sometimes love is singing somebody to sleep, to melodize a common theme, hymn or song to help the one you cherish most relax so they may sleep. But sometimes songs that are intended to comfort are sung in ways that are haunting and cruel by those with only the wickedest intentions. A song of the one I love most haunts my ears now, a memory of intimidation and suffocation rather than a remembrance of one who loves me dearly.

Sometimes love is a blanket, that is laid upon your shoulders meant to warm and comfort you. But sometimes, without intending to, we lay sheets of concrete upon the shoulders of the one we love.  Intending to comfort and provide shelter we build houses of marvelous marble and wrought iron, so that they may withstand the storms of life and the cruelty of an invader. But without realizing what we have done, we sometimes create prisons of cold inescapable stone and metal, that terrify, imprison, and torture the one we only mean to protect and comfort. Sometimes love is a warm mug in your hand, filled with a liquid meant to soothe and comfort you after a difficult day. But sometimes, all we have ever been handed mugs full of is poison. When some have learned to give love in mugs, others have only intended to fill the stomachs of their victims with misery and sorrow. 

Love is a confusing and fluid thing. What has been love to one individual may have only ever been a method of torture to another.  What may be only grasped to hand off as love in one person’s hand may be seen as a cruel tool of torture by another.  What some see as love has only ever been an experience of torture to another. What some see as terrifying, others see as a sanctuary of peace. When some offer space and the freedom of solitude as a manner of understanding and care, others only see abandonment. When some only intend to offer space others see a cruel isolation that was forced upon them in ages past.

To those of us who have been forced to lick love off of a scalpel’s wicked edge, the giving of a blade feels like a gift of love and devotion. But we forget the blood we shed learning to lick love off of blades, and without realizing it we lacerate the hearts of the ones we love, without even realizing we have separated flesh from bone.  We have eviscerated the hearts of our beloved without realizing we have even pricked the skin and drawn blood.

Love is complicated. Love Is only capable of being perceived through 5 keyholes and the sensations of our flesh. Our understanding of love is based in how love has been given to us or how it has been withheld from us in the past.  Love is patient, but our capability to perceive love may not be which can be damning. Love is kind, but what is kind to some may be only experienced as cruelty by another, which is an unintentionally destructive experience.

My darling, Love can be confusing. Love can be difficult to understand, because each and every person has a plethora of differing experiences. Even what may be loving at one day can easily be weaponized by one with cruel intentions, and stain our perceptions of love forever. This is a knowledge that has been burned into my bones and etched into my brains. But I have plenty of space left to learn more about what love means, to slowly teach myself what it means to cherish each and every person I should choose to love, but one day I hope to have softly written in my heart the instructions to your love. For each and every letter to be softly engraved upon my eager waiting heart by your gentle and loving hand.  I only wish to delicately learn to love you, even though I will have to continue to learn what that may mean for the rest of a lifetime. I do not mind, I honestly yearn to become a student of your heart, a researcher of the almost silent but pulsing and alive yearning of your soul. My heart waits eagerly, the pen is poised on the tables of my heart.

I’ve finally come to understand that you are seeking serenity rather than punishing me with silence for a crime that I do not understand that I've committed. Now that I understand one of the last hidden reasons for your desperation for solitude, and I understand that to you solitude is comfort and peace rather than forced isolations and a weapon of humiliation and shame. All that is left is for you to grab my hand and lead me in that way, but only when you decide that the time is right again. When the sun shines upon us yet again, may we journey through the pouring rains that life will force upon us with patience and the desire to understand each other’s heart. May the love that we dearly desired together be built anew upon a respecting of each other’s needs and understanding of the differences that a cruel life has brought upon us. When the time is right, I hope we can walk side by side alongside each other, even if we can’t walk hand in hand all the time, I just wish we could walk side by side with each other. I’ll freely give you the space you need whenever you need it, and I won’t call out to you when you are simply out of sight.  I’ll learn to simply wait until you’re ready to walk side by side again, and then continue having allowed you to regain your peace and comfort. And together may we walk, in peace, comfort, gentleness, and understanding of the other.

~WanderingSentiments

[it-me-ari]

Echoes of the Void: The Diary of Theseus Nightshade (pt 1)

Prologue: The Void is calling

When I was a young boy my father left me and my mother.

That sounds more dramatic than it is, so I should probably explain.  He didn’t exactly leave us. Leaving implied suitcases in the hall. Late night shouting matches. It implied that he was somehow unhappy with me and my mother. None of these criteria fit in my case. When I say "he left us" I didn't mean he had enough of being a husband and father, he did plan to return to us when he was done with his mission. You see, he was- is- a cartographer and his mission was to map The Void.

The Void is a kind of dome of shimmering colours that move in unpredictable patterns, I've been told it's quite mesmerising to look at by people who claim to have seen it. Nobody really knows what it is or where it comes from and most people are too afraid to find out.

There have been expeditions inside the void, so we know that inside are stars, moons, suns and even planets, it's like the night sky is trapped inside a bubble. All we know about its age is that it's really fucking old since we found records from our ancestors that report it's been there for all their lives.

The first successful expedition came back about 50 years ago, and since then multiple teams of scientists and historians have been trying to find out its secrets and probably how to exploit them.

That being said, it is really dangerous to go there. It starts with the fact that you need a protection spell to even breathe since there is no air. We learned that the hard way.

As I explained before, my father was one of the few elves studying The Void™️, which caused quite the ruckus, since we're high elves and that's not what society demands, like he ever cared about that. My family was already disgraced anyway.

He sometimes told me stories about his work and the terrors he faced, just enough to scare the hell out of me. I always admired him for being so brave and strong and that he managed to survive such a cruel environment. When I asked how he could do it he would smile and tell me that it was the thought of my mother and me that kept him going and made him come back every time.

Until it didn't.

It has been 8 years since that fateful expedition and I still cling to the hope that he will return to me and tell me all about his adventure. But every day a little bit of that hope is chipped away, The Void is highly dangerous under the best circumstances. Being alone and without supplies are certainly not the best circumstances.

It doesn't really help that everyone who knew my father marvels at how much I look like a younger version of the great Timotheos Tiberius Knightshade. The same fiery red hair, the same green eyes, the same bronze skin. The only difference is that he's a famous adventurer and I'm not. And that he's not here anymore.

I'm so lonely. Every Time I see a shooting star I wish that he would return to me and that we can be a family again. So far no luck.

It hurt so much to see other people living the life that was taken away from me. I longed to have that father- son connection that I saw between my friends and their fathers. I wanted my father back so bad and do all the things sons typically do with their fathers, even if I didn’t exactly know what that was. I was so young when he disappeared.

I am filled with rage when I think about the people who sent my father on this stupid mission to his doom. Sure I know that he chose this and that he liked his job, it just feels good to blame someone for what happened. I know it's wrong to feel that way, Dad wouldn't want me to be revengeful, he always was a very calm and peaceful man. He never got angry.

As I was thinking about what my dad would want me to do I suddenly had an epiphany.  It doesn't help my dad when I sit around all day, moping and waiting for his return. I made the decision to get a grip and get on with my life. Make him proud. He always wanted a good life for me and I was planning to have one, for him.

The very next day I enrolled at the university to study the Septem Artes Liberales to become a teacher, like my grandfather was.

At least that was the plan.

Said plan came to a sudden stop when I met Bob. Bob, short for Bobiamus Malitus, was an old colleague of my dad who bumped into me when I was on my way home from my first lesson. He immediately recognised me and offered to talk a bit about my father, tell some stories, and keep him alive in our memories.

My mom never told me much about my dad, it was too painful to speak about her lost husband, so I immediately agreed to meet with him.

"So you're old Tim’s son huh? It's remarkable how much you look like him" were the first words Bob said to me after we sat down in the pub he suggested. I was slightly annoyed at the cliché but I nodded, I do look a lot like my father.

Bob was short and fat, a typical dwarf, and he clearly spent a lot of time on his appearance, typical for rich people.  "Correct, I'm Theseus" I then answered.

The dwarf nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but I was faster. "What can you tell me about my dad?" I asked and looked him directly in the eyes, not giving him the chance to waste time with small talk.

His reaction was a small chuckle and he took a sip of his tea before he answered my question. "Ah yes... Before we come to that, I have a proposition to make." I repressed an eye-roll and nodded impatiently "Yeah? What is it?"

I didn't expect his next words at all. "I'm putting together a mission to find your father and I think as his only son you have a right to be a part of it."

I could only stare at him, unable to process what he just said to me, not in a million years have I ever thought about following my father's footsteps. "You want me to go into The Void?" I finally found my voice again and it was full of disbelief.

I was 18 years old, barely an adult and he asked me to join a dangerous mission into an unknown and vicious realm where only the most skilled sorcerers and adventurers dared to venture. "I don't even know the magic" I added when he didn't say anything and just looked at me with a knowing smile.

I knew I had a talent for magic and I could perform a few simple spells but I was nowhere near ready for a mission of that scale.

"Don't worry, we have a solution for that" Bob finally started talking again. "A pair of highly trained soldiers will be part of the team to guarantee your and everyone's safety. On his arrogant, bearded face was a friendly smile, designed to gain my trust.

Still, I hesitated, it wasn't like he asked me to go on a walk in the park, plus if The Void wouldn't kill me my mum would. But I was also tempted, I was curious about the mystical realm bordering our land but even without that, I would give everything to get my dad back.

That was the reason I finally nodded, accompanied by a deep sigh. "Alright, I'll come." Part of my brain was already busy with the question of how I would tell my mum, but mostly I was excited, finally I could actually do something to help my dad!

Bob grinned widely and pulled a few sheets of paper from his fur coat as if he already knew my answer. He placed the documents, I could now identify them as a contract, in front of me along with a beautifully crafted pen and a small bottle of ink.  "Splendid! You just need to sign these and then it's official!" He pointed to some areas of the contract where I should place my signature.

I started to read the document but frowned almost immediately, it was written in beautiful, hard-to-read letters and I didn't understand a thing. "Oh it's just the usual, you're doing this at your own risk, payment in case of death and so on" he waved dismissively and smiled at me, trying to be reassuring.

I stopped abruptly and looked at him, a drop of tint fell on the paper. "In case of death?" I repeated and my mouth suddenly felt dry. I mean, I knew it was dangerous but up until that moment I avoided thinking about my possible death, which seemed rather naive in hindsight.

"Well it's obviously a possibility" Bob scoffed and frowned, he seemed to think I was an idiot and I sheepishly turned red. "Of course" I mumbled and hurried to sign the papers, too ashamed to ask any more questions. Afterwards, I felt relieved but also very very scared, now there was no turning back. This was happening.

Bob clapped his hands enthusiastically and congratulated me, it felt a bit inappropriate, considering everything that could go wrong on this mission. This was a huge life decision and could very likely be my last, not everyone comes back from The Void. The best example is my dad, but he's also the reason I agreed to do this so I did my best to push my fear aside and focus on hope.

I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if we actually found him. I could be the one to bring him back from this cold, empty land and back to his family. The thought of that happening filled me with excitement and not even the knowledge of the deadly residents of The Void could shake this feeling.

Bobiamus and I said our goodbyes and I went home with a heavy heart, the conversation that was ahead of me would not be easy. But it was unavoidable to tell my mum about my decision.

At first, she was mad and yelled at me, then she cried and begged me not to go, to not leave her all alone. Her pleading almost made me change my mind, but I had already signed the contract and there was no going back.

It took some time but eventually, she calmed down and we hugged. "I'll come back, I promise" I tried giving her a reassuring smile, but she just looked tired and my smile faded. "That's what your father always said.. and look what happened" she sighed and shook her head. "You're just a child..." I didn't know what to say and just hugged her again. "This will be different, you'll see." My voice was solemn, I was determined to survive, so my mother wouldn't be alone. "Just.. be careful..." She gave me a weak smile, but at least it was a smile. We talked some more and then called it a night, we both had some stuff to think about.

Two weeks after I met with Bob, he finished the preparation for the mission and contacted me to meet him at Snowtooth, a fortress at the outermost border of my country, Rionnag Mara. My mum accompanied me until the Gate, where we hugged and said goodbye. I took a deep breath and stepped into the dark, frozen building.

Inside I was greeted by Bob, who seemed to be in a pretty good mood. "Welcome! Let me show you around! You'll sleep here tonight before you leave for The Void tomorrow." I could only nod, fear lay in my stomach like a stone. Bob sighed, but then gave me a tour of the fortress, which didn't help with my nervousness. It wasn't a very nice place.

The last stop of our tour was the dormitory where we all would sleep, the rest of the team were already waiting for us there. Our leader was a high elf named Sylwanin, who barely even looked at me when Bob introduced me and my heart sank a bit. This was not a great start. The two human wizards, Kiowa and Sal, seemed nice enough though and smiled at me. The last two members were two Sidhe Warriors- to keep us safe apparently- named Cinder and Thorn, they were even more seclusive than Sylwanin.

I didn't get much time to talk with them anyway because Bob ushered me forward to get me fitted with my gear. They got me a magic cloak that would allow me to breathe and keep me warm in The Void, since I couldn't really use magic that was the best solution. I also got a sword, a backpack with rations and a sleeping bag.

At that moment I was very grateful for the sword fighting lessons that my best friend Fergus forced me to attend with him, at least I wouldn't be completely helpless. Then I put my gear away and followed Bob outside again, he wanted to show me the vessel that would take us to the void. I was a bit distracted though, I was thinking about Fergus and wished he could come with me, the whole thing wouldn't be as scary then. But Bob refused that, even before I could ask him, he said it was risky enough to bring one inexperienced elf along and that we didn't need a Púca causing chaos.

He had a point, of course, Púcas are known for their chaotic energy and Fergus was no exception. In his human form, he looked almost innocent with bright blue eyes and fair, blonde hair but once he starts shapeshifting into a cat or goat the illusion fades quickly. I chuckled at the thought of our shared adventures that didn't always end well.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice the ship until Bob came to a halt right in front of it. It was a small sailing ship placed on logs that was, as I was told, enchanted through and through and as we got closer I swore I could feel the magic inside the ship. Her name was 'Queen Mab', which told me a lot about who was sponsoring our mission as if the two sidhe warriors weren't obvious enough. A little detail Bobiamus forgot to mention, I just didn't understand why the queen had any interest in saving my father. For now, I didn't question it but I would keep it in the back of my head, something wasn't right about this.

My guide finished showing me around the fortress and together we entered the 'war room' where the other members of the rescue team were waiting. The room was small and narrow with maps hanging on every wall and candles burning in regular spaces to light the dark room. In the middle stood a table with seven seats which were usually for the commanders of the Queen's army when they were making a battle plan. But today the table was reserved for us and a large illustration of The Void lay on the table, it was almost like a real map but it showed certain star formations that where discovered on previous expeditions. When we arrived everyone except Bob, who positioned himself at the front end of the table, sat down and waited expectedly.

Bob cleared his throat for dramatic effect and started speaking: "As you all know we are attempting to rescue Timotheos Tiberius Knightshade, a great researcher and scientist who got us a lot of the knowledge about The Void and went missing 8 years ago. He was a good friend and for years I have tried to get the funds for a rescue mission, but no one wanted to risk it. They all said that the chances for his survival were too low." He lowered his gaze for a moment and paused his speech and I couldn't tell if he was actually grieving or if it was just for show. "But everything changed a few weeks ago when we found his journal at the edge of the void. The entries were up to date and indicated that he is still very much alive! With that proof, I was able to convince our benevolent queen to sponsor the expedition to save him!" Hearing that made my heart race. They found his journal! My dad really was still alive and out there somewhere! And I was going to find him! Bob talked a bit more about our journey and the dangers we would face but it was hard for me to concentrate, if it were up to me we would've left immediately.

After the meeting a simple dinner was served and I got the chance to get to know Sal, one of the human wizards, a little bit better.  He was not as arrogant as Sylwanin and was actually quite funny. Talking with him made some of my anxiety go away and I could enjoy dinner, although I got the feeling that everyone thought I didn't really belong with the mission. I didn't blame them.  Shortly after dinner, we all went to bed, but it took me a long time to find sleep.

I woke with a start when I felt ice-cold water on my face. I jumped up and wildly looked around, I was staring into the amused faces of the rest of the team and then met the cold gaze of our leader, Sylwanin, who apparently was the one who splashed the water on my face. "What was that for?? Wasn't there a nicer way to wake me?" I asked her with a harsh voice, not realizing how disrespectful I was being. She didn't seem to care, since her expression didn't change one bit when she answered me. "This was the fastest way, it's your own fault for not waking up sooner." That was all she said to me and then turned away. "Get dressed, we leave in an hour" she added, not bothering to look back. A bit taken aback by her nonchalant attitude I just nodded and started dressing.

The other members of the team, except the two sidhe warriors who were nowhere to be seen, were all ready to go and waiting for me. I was embarrassed for sleeping so long so I hurried to get ready.

It didn't take long and soon the four of us left our quarters and headed for the magic ship that would take us across The Void. In the courtyard, the two Sidhe joined us again and followed us silently to our vessel.

Before we could board the ship the corpulent figure of Bobiamus appeared in front of us and greeted us with a large grin. "Good morning brave adventurers! A few last words before you depart!" I could see how annoyed Sylwanin was with him and I could relate, I didn't particularly like Bob either and right now I couldn't care less for his attention-seeking. But he was the one who put this mission together so we all waited patiently for what he wanted to say.  "You're about to embark on a very dangerous journey and I just wanted to wish you all good luck. May the gods watch over you and make sure you come back safely with Tim. Be careful out there." He smiled and shook hands with each of us before he cleared the way and we could finally board the ship. I could barely contain my shaking, I hated it but I was scared to go into The Void, I had heard too many stories about the dangerous creatures lurking within. Sal saw my pale face and leaned over with a reassuring smile. "It's going to be fine, we are all experienced Void travellers, don't worry about it." I looked at him and smiled back, there was a warmth in his brown eyes that helped me calm down a bit and I was able to control the shaking. "Thank you," I answered but he just ran a hand through his short, brown hair and shrugged. "Don't mention it." With that, he walked over to Kiowa, who was looking at us with an unreadable expression.

I looked at the two of them and thought to myself that they were pretty much exact opposites. Sal had honey-coloured skin, dark brown hair and eyes and a short, well-trimmed beard while Kiowa had long, silvery hair that hung tangled from his shoulders and no beard. His appearance looked a bit worn but his grey eyes looked kind. My observation was interrupted when Sylwanin silently walked up to me, startling me back to reality. She was your typical high elf, with a slender figure, long auburn hair that was braided beautifully, pale, flawless skin and sapphire blue eyes that never showed any warmth. "I hope you are prepared for this. The Void is no place for children." She didn't look at me and her face stayed emotionless but I still got the message that she disapproved of me joining this mission. "I know. But I won't let you down." I promised her with a firm voice, that under no circumstances did I want to show her how scared I was, although she probably already knew. As a response she just nodded and walked away, leaving me wondering if she believed what I said or not. I sighed and turned to look at the shimmering wall of colours in front of the ship, The Void. It looked almost alive, the way the colours moved around and swirled into each other in a mysterious pattern that seemed to always be changing.

[yhwhrulz]

Charles Spurgeon's "Morning & Evening" Devotional for October 14

Morning

“Lord, remember me when Thou comest into Thy kingdom.”

Luke 23:39-43

Luke 23:39-42

Dr. Hanna has beautifully said: “Here, amid the triumph of enemies, and the failure of the faith of friends, is one who discerns, even through the dark envelope which covers it, the hidden glory of the Redeemer, and openly hails him as his Lord and King. Marvellous, indeed, the faith in our Lord’s divinity which sprung up so suddenly in such an unlikely region. Are we wrong in saying that, at the particular moment when that testimony to Christ’s divinity was borne, there was not another fill believer in that divinity but the dying thief?… And what a tenderness of conscience is here; what deep reverence for God; what devout submission to the divine will; what entire relinquishment of all personal grounds of confidence before God; what a vivid realising of the world of spirits; what a humble trust in Jesus; what a zeal for the Saviour’s honour; what an indignation at the unworthy treatment he was receiving! May we not take that catalogue of the frui ts of genuine repentance which an apostle has drawn up for us, and applying it here, say of this man’s repentance: Behold what carefulness it wrought in him; yea, what clearing of himself; yea, what indignation; yea, what fear; yea, what vehement desire; yea, what zeal; yea, what revenge! In all things he approved himself to be a changed man, in all the desires and dispositions and purposes of his heart.”

Luke 23:43

The dying Saviour reigns on the cross, and allots a place in paradise to his companion in death. Here is no hint of purgatory, the pardoned thief is with Jesus that very day. So also shall all believers be with Jesus immediately they leave the body.

Matthew 27:45-49

Matthew 27:46

A cry in which every word is emphatic. Read it over as many times as there are words, and see a new force of meaning each time. Jesus cried in this manner, that none of his saints might ever need to do so.

Matthew 27:47

Thus jesting at his prayer. Oh, horrid cruelty!

John 19:28-30

John 19:28-30

What a grand utterance! Now are we safe, for salvation is complete.

Matthew 27:51-54

Matthew 27:53

These were early proofs of his resurrection power. These firstfruits prove that the harvest is sure.

Evening

“They shall look on Him whom they pierced.”

John 19:31-42

John 19:31

The men who could commit this murder without shame were, nevertheless, great sticklers for every point of ceremony, whatever cruelty it might involve. This proves that riles and ceremonies leave men as dad as they find them. Romanists, with a thousand pompous performances, yet rejoiced in the burning of pious men and women, and invented racks and tortures for them. Let this teach us to mind most the spiritual requirements of the gospel, and remember that the religion which does not change the heart and teach us to be merciful is good for nothing.

John 19:32

This was done to hasten death. Verily, the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.

John 19:35

And he that saw it bare record that is to say, John himself

John 19:35

He was sure of what he saw, he was under no delusion, he asserts it with the utmost confidence.

John 19:39

The two secret but true followers of our Lord now came out in their true colours. The cross is the great revealer of the thoughts of men’s hearts. Blessed are they who are not ashamed of Christ Crucified.

Matthew 27:62-66

Matthew 27:62-64

Their jealous hatred led them to mar their own Sabbath and Passover by appeals to a heathen ruler. Little did they know of that spiritual Sabbath-keeping, which makes us lay aside our cares and even our own thoughts upon the hallowed day of rest.

Matthew 27:65-66

Thus, unwittingly, helping to secure testimony for the resurrection such as none could gainsay. It was now impossible for his body to be stolen, and if he came forth it must be by supernatural power. Oh, blind Jews, thus to ensure their own confusion! Blinder yet are they who believe that Jesus rose, and yet do not put their trust in him.

Copyright Statement This resource was produced before 1923 and therefore is considered in the "Public Domain".

[just-french-me-up]

it was so hard to pick just one!! but:

10. "You don't know what you do to me."

Fandom : The Sandman

Pairing : Dream of the Endless x Fem!Nameless!Reader (3rd person, no (Y/N))

Rating : M/E (more suggestive than outright smut, but it has its moments)

Tags : Established relationship | PWP with feelings | 1.3K | Angst and comfort

The King of Dreams and Nightmares was a cold, distant creature. Or at least that was how he had been described to her on many occasions. Her own experience had proven those detractors wrong. There was nothing cold about Morpheus, except, perhaps, the spot he left in her bed once he returned to his duties, the memories of his hands and his mouth keeping her warm.

No, the Lord of the Dreaming was not the aloof being some liked to whisper about. Or so she thought.

Lately things had been... different. Upsetting was the word she would use, should she let herself think about it for too long. Ever since he let her in the heart of the Dreaming, she had barely even seen his shadow. At first, she told herself it was the order of things. King he was, and king he remained, with all the duties that came attached to the title. But then, there had been other instances. Avoiding her eyes. Barely looking at her when she stood in the same room as him. Exchanging but a few terse words whenever he failed to avoid her altogether.

It was no wonder to her, then, why the rumours about his nature were so grim. His indifference was not cold. It was glacial.

As a consequence, she spent most of her time alone, exploring a palace she had been let it without a guide. The library was by far the most comforting place she had found so far. She would spend her time there, browsing, marvelling at the sheer endlessness of it. She could have sworn that each night brought a new row of shelves which was not there the day before.

She had taken to reading every unwritten poetry book she could get her hands on. Words scribbled on a restaurant napkin. Half-written confessions. Cries for help. Songs of kinship. She was engulfed in her second volume of the night when footsteps echoed around her and, eventually, stopped.

"I trust you have found the Library to your liking."

Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice. That was more words than he had given her whole week. Standing a few feet away, Morpheus was looking at her, his impassive demeanour in keeping with the rest of his recent aloofness. The first few days, she'd been saddened by it. Now, her melancholy had soured, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth.

"I have," she said, trying and failing not to let resentment colour her words.

He looked, no, observed her from far. Whatever his thoughts were, his face let nothing through.

"I shall leave you to it."

Morpheus had almost turned his back when she snapped her book closed.

"Have I done something?" she asked, standing up from her seat.

He turned around to face her, his brow twitching slightly. His beauty was almost cruel.

"My love?"

"Have you grown tired of me? Do you regret bringing me here? You have barely looked at me since I set foot in the palace."

Something in his expression changed. The stoic mask slipped somewhat as he held her gaze. He did not look angry. He looked hurt.

"You don't know what you do to me."

His words hung in the air between them, almost like a confession. She could have sworn the light filtering through the windows of the library had dimmed.

"Everything here came from me," he continued, looking around them. "Every wall, every stone, every detail was but a thought at first. I made it all. I can feel all of it, for it was once part of me. Nowhere is it more true than here, in the palace. Its entirety could shift, with a single thought of mine."

He took a hesitant step closer, his eyes still gazing deeply into hers. A warm breeze blew against her, although no window was open.

"I did not anticipate how much my thoughts would... wander, once I brought you here."

Although she never averted her eyes, her vision was overwhelmed with images. She saw herself, her back against a bookshelf, hair tangled and cheeks flushed, Morpheus standing between her legs, her thighs held against each side of his hips. She could feel it all, the bite of the wood against her shoulder blades, the fingers digging into her flesh, his hot breath blowing against her neck, the warmth of him against her, inside her.

The vision was gone before she could draw another breath. Behind her, a full shelf of books fell on the floor, making her jump. When she turned back to Morpheus, the heat on her cheeks was no illusion. The room itself felt warmer, almost unbearably so.

"My thoughts rule the Dreaming," he continued, a slight rasp in his voice. "Your presence tends to make them more difficult control."

Another vision struck her. The bookshelf was gone, replaced by the table on her right. Her dress was a mess, fabric hanging from her shoulders, her skirts gathered at her waist. Her hand was lost in a mess of wild hair as Morpheus, knelt on the hardwood floor, worshipped at her altar. Another flick of his tongue overwhelmed her, making her thighs shiver with pleasure. A real, audible moan echoed the vision's, filling the silence of the library.

She slammed her hand against her mouth. Morpheus was closer now, within reach.

"Is it like this all the time?" she asked.

"Whenever you are in my presence," he confirmed.

An onslaught of images flickered before her eyes, mere glances into what she understood to be broader, more consuming fantasies. The feeling of wood against her knees and the salty taste of him. The sensation of soft sheets and his warm skin against her back. His fingers bringing her to completion. His tongue teasing hers.

The echoes of pleasure left her wanting, her breathing short and her knees weak. Morpheus seemed the farthest thing from indifferent now, his gaze studying her intently, as though coming up with other fantasies tailored to this very moment.

"Forgive me, my love," he murmured. "I have neglected you, trying to keep these thoughts from ruling me."

"Will it always be like this? Will you always keep away?"

A faint smile danced on his lips.

"No. I will master them soon. It is only a matter of time. I merely wish to keep my subject from experiencing them until I do. It would make carrying out my duties rather... embarrassing."

"I see. I did not know the Lord of the Dreaming could feel embarrassment."

"Some things are better left between the two us. I do not need the entire realm to know what we sound like in the throes of pleasure."

"Is that a possibility?"

"Very much so."

Morpheus ran a hand through her hair. The touch was accompanied by a phantom kiss in her neck, the hint of unseen teeth teasing her skin. How unfair it was that she could not retaliate. Then again, if she felt him this way, how much did he feel himself, the catalyst of every unconscious thought? The frustration of it had to be unbearable.

"I shall have it under my control soon," he assured her. "Do not deprive yourself of all the Dreaming has to offer in the meantime."

"I did not intend to. Morpheus?"

"Yes?"

She took his hand and kissed his palm, her lips purposefully insistent. He was warm against her, never cold. There was a shift in his eyes, and the light of the room dimmed further, almost plunging them in the darkness.

"Do not just show me, next time, yes?"

"I'm afraid we would need eons for me to put it all in practice, love of mine," he chuckled softly.

"We've got nothing but time."

send me a smutty prompt?

[maple-the-awesome]

We'll Meet Again...I Know When || Chapter 10

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN Reader

Words: 2,651

Overview: Given your old-fashioned personality and obsession with all things 1940s to 1980s, it’s no wonder that most people refer to you as an ‘old soul’ who would’ve rather lived back then than in the modern era. Little do they know, you already did, but with your previous life as Hollie Stark cut short, you’ve been left with some…unfinished business, to say the least. Top of your list? Finally getting to marry your thought-to-be-lost fiancé.

Series Masterlist 🤎 Marvel Masterlist 🤎 Fandom Masterlist

CHAPTER TEN: NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE, SAME GOALS

Winter in Romania sucks...at least when you have a super cheat apartment that lacks any decent heating sources. Each day, you wake up and shriek at the feeling of cold floorboards beneath your toes, a problem eventually solved by wearing thick socks and fluffy slippers just about everywhere inside, but is still isn't rare for you to wear layers upon layers of clothing just to keep yourself from turning into a human ice cube.

Having already been there and done that, Bucky has never complained throughout the entirety of this terrible season. Unlike you who stubbornly refuses to leave the blanket cocoon you've created in front of the space heater, he's up strolling around with bare feet and a simple long sleeved shirt as if he's on vacation in Hawaii.

"It's not that bad," he'll state, sipping on pitch black coffee.

"Not that bad my ass," you'll reply, shivering like a leaf in a hurricane.

Needless to say, you can't wait for winter to be over (even if January’s only just started). Cuddled among worn cotton and fleece, you dream of a day where snowfall decreases and the temperature has increased which will surely brighten your bitter mood. That's when Bucky can expect your lazy annoyance to melt away with the ice, once again allowing you to have some pep in your step even if you'll still wear cozy socks with slippers for at least three months afterwards.

"We should visit Old Town."

"How could you possibly suggest such a cruel thing? Do you hate me that much? And after all I’ve done to help you, too!"

Bucky smirks against his mug, peeking through the torn newspaper plastered against the windows for a sneak peek at the white wonderland outside.

"Is it pretty out there?"

"I'm looking at a building's roof."

"So?" You grip the blankets to ensure they remain tightly around your body when you turn his way. He's leaned against the counter, mocking you by wearing only jeans and a red shirt rolled up to his elbows. You’d be angrier if it weren’t for how gosh darn good he looks.

"We should've moved somewhere that at least has pretty winters where the snow's actually white and not a slushy, black mess everywhere we go. I mean, what's the point if you can't make a proper snowman without some kids killing it seconds later?"

"Like out in the country?"

You pout, turning back to face the heater while tugging the blanket further over your head," yeah, like in the country…Haven't you ever wanted to live there far away from the burdens of society?"

Bucky hums, but doesn't respond otherwise. You refuse to peek at his reaction despite your strong temptation to.

"...It isn't too late, you know?" You mumble quietly nevertheless," we could probably find an affordable fixer-upper somewhere. Make it all nice and livable. ‘best part is we could be left alone. No more needing to go to the grocery store 'cause we'd grow our own food, no more neighbors asking what we do for a living-"

"-Except for Rosetta. I like Rosetta."

"Except for Rosetta. Yeah, she's sweet," sucking in a breath, you finally find the courage to stand up, although you still bring all the blankets along for the ride as you wobble into the kitchen," I'm not going to Old Town today."

He takes another sip of his coffee, thinking," what about a movie?"

"Now you're talking, Barnes!" Shooing him away, you try to gain access to the coffee maker yet he purposefully moves at the speed of a slug to your annoyance. At least he makes up for it by reaching over your head to retrieve your mug from the cupboard above,” and I know the perfect one, too!"

"Oh no."

"Oh, stop acting as if I've ever steered you wrong," rolling your eyes, you avoid taking the mug from him, instead swooping out from under his arm to pad across the room," be a dear and fill it for me? I gotta find the DVD!"

It's Bucky who rolls his eyes now, not that he takes any real offense. While he fills both mugs with fresh coffee, you hurry to search through your boxes of belongings, knowing for a fact you bought the specific DVD before the cold set in.

Usually you refrain from extra purchases since there's always a risk of having to leave everything behind if discovered, but you and Bucky have had good luck in Romania so far. While it isn't wise to let your guard down too much, breathing easy once in a while won't hurt anyone and when you saw this DVD at the local charity shop, you just couldn't pass it up; not when it reminds you of such a happy time.

Once locating the DVD and getting it prepared in the player, you crawl across the bed eagerly, making yourself extra snug with a stack of pillows behind your back and the blankets nuzzled high against your face. Bucky smiles at your antics, handing you your mug before turning towards the couch a full four and a half feet across the room.

"You won't be able to see the screen very well," you point out, blowing on the coffee.

"I can see it fine."

"You'll be looking at it sideways."

"It's fine."

Pouting at both his stubbornness and the fact that the coffee burns your tongue after taking even the tiniest of sips, you set the drink aside to cool properly while patting the space beside you," sure, but it'll be much better if you sit here. I promise I don't bite...usually."

He almost smirks at the 'joke', however your humor falls flat with his inner demons. You're no stranger to the concerns that plague his mind, having encountered them enough to have developed a talent for noticing even the smallest hints of insecurity he lets past his stone gaze. It's always disheartening, but you pride yourself on knowing how to help.

"James..." you let his name roll off your tongue softly, fully aware he heard you regardless of him not giving any acknowledgment," how about you move the couch over at least, hmm?"

He doesn't respond instantly, keeping his eyes aware except towards you while dwelling on the suggestion. At last, he stands which is soon followed by the sound of the couch being dragged across the wood floor. The move is effortless with his strength, completed with only one hand as he continues to nurse his drink in the other. Dropping it a mere foot from the edge of the bed, he takes a seat stiffly in the middle.

"There; a compromise," you grin, finally taking your attention off of Bucky to watch the opening credits play. All the while you maintain a glitter in your eyes, the memories flooding back to you nearly clear as day despite it having been over four decades.

"...What are we watching?" His voice is quiet, timid even.

"The Aristocats."

He scrunches his nose at the title that you joyfully announce. You're clearly a fan," the aristocrats?"

"C. A. T. S. Cats. It's a play on words."

"Is it for kids?" It's not so much of a question as it is a whine. The movie already confirms his fears by the screen being overtaken by cute little cartoon cats," you chose horror last time, now we're going to watch drawn cats?"

"This movie's special."

"Why?"

You give a reminiscence sigh," because when I first watched it, it was when my nephew had brought it over for a sleepover. He was so excited I could barely get him to sit still or keep quiet. We made popcorn and milkshakes and cuddled inside a massive pillow fort; it was the last animated movie I saw."

Bucky raises an eyebrow at this," we watched one two weeks ago.”

You merely hum at his confusion," I meant the last one I watched with him. It's been awhile."

There's a bit of silence before Bucky breaks it again,"...I didn't know you had a nephew."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Barnes," you wink, which is the last thing either of you say, allowing the rest of the movie to be viewed in peace.

Surrounded by warm blankets and armed with a mug of fresh coffee, you begin to feel much warmer than you had earlier. The pleasant memories are likely helping, too.

Throughout, you steal peeks at Bucky who relaxes more and more over time, eventually being comfortable enough to lay his head against the armrest closest to you while kicking his legs over the opposite end. You would've loved to have him next to you, head resting directly on your lap as your fingers brush through strands of hair, but this is fine, too. So long as he’s nearby, you’re more than thankful.

The movie isn't unbearably long, running for a far shorter runtime than most you’ve forced Bucky to sit through. By the time the end credits roll, you're dragging your blankets around humming 'Everybody wants to be a cat' while preparing some microwavable dinner as Bucky collects both mugs to wash.

Given the small kitchen (which is really just a section of the entire one room, one bathroom apartment), you stand with only about an inch between the two of you; a distance you're mindful of by keeping your arms close to your side.

Intensely staring at the numbers flashing on the microwave as if that will make the countdown go faster, you only glance at your partner when he clears his throat suddenly.

Despite having purposefully gained your attention, he leaves you waiting for a moment which is used to rethink his own words,"...you don't talk about yourself too often..."

"Well, we're not really here for me, we're here for you," you then chew on your lip, deciding the wording sounded wrong, thus you reiterate," I'm not too great at sharing personal details about my life. You know, being an agent and all, I'm accustomed to keeping my lips sealed on that front. That and I never thought you cared either way.”

Bucky nods, taking your answer as a polite way of telling him you'd rather not talk about it. He's prepared to let the topic die off, but you let it live.

"Why?" Leaning your arms against the corner, you cock your head to the side and smirk," curious about my tragic backstory, Barnes?"

"No, it's just..." He looks at the ceiling with a twisted face. It seems like he might deny your assumption altogether, only for him to quietly do the opposite,"...You've done so much to help me remember myself, yet I haven't done anything to get to know you. I feel like...like I should know at least something. I don't even know what you gave up to be here…”

Pushing yourself straight, you give a dramatic sigh," ‘hate to burst your bubble and all, but it wasn’t as if my life was perfectly put together before you came crashing in, so you stop acting guilty about it, will you? I still talk to my parents once a week and call friends from time-to-time to let them know I'm not dead in a ditch somewhere."

"Where do they think you are then? I can't imagine they know you're helping the Winter Soldier."

"I actually have one friend who knows who I'm with," you confess, putting your back against the counter and crossing your arms. Noticing the look of uncertainty in Bucky's eyes after this revelation, you wave a hand," don't look so worried. She's known since the beginning and while I can't say she's necessary ‘cool with it’, she's a trustworthy friend sworn to secrecy. Everybody else just thinks I'm on my honeymoon in Costa Rica."

A tint of red dusts his cheeks," and they believe that?"

"Of course. I'm a gifted liar," you laugh before adding softly," 'been doing it my whole life.”

"Duly noted," Bucky leans his own back against the corner now, his arm brushing against yours. He doesn't jerk away from the slight touch per usual, although he might've if it had been his metal arm instead.

"...So, what do you want to know about me then, Barnes?"

He gives the question some serious consideration as if his life depends on his choice,"...what was your childhood like?"

If Bucky had a hard time asking a question, then you have a harder time answering. It's a simple inquiry most people would smile at while easily explaining the earliest years of their life, however it's far more complicated with your case.

Your childhood...Which one? You've had good moments in both. (Y/n)'s childhood is most recent and the safest option in the case that someone tries to confirm the details, but Hollie's had been equally important if not more so. You were Hollie first, after all. Everything she was paved the way for who you are now.

"It was...a little rough," you confess, giving a hollow chuckle. Turning away to the window, you pretend you can see tiny snowflakes dancing in the sky, refreshing the layers upon layers covering the streets below," family life was fine, area was nice, and I excelled in school, so I managed to skip several grade levels until I was the only baby faced kid in a classroom filled with acne-ridden teens. It's just...Ugh, how do I put this...?

"I guess I've always been pretty mature for my age and that made it difficult fitting it. Kids didn't hang around since I behaved too much like an adult, adults didn't hang around since I was still technically a kid and it's probably off-putting to have an eight-year old criticize your life choices."

Bucky's eyebrows furrow as he considers how to respond," that does sound rough."

"Yeah, well, I got over it," you announce, suddenly pushing yourself away from the counter only to sit on the wobbly table across from it," things got better when I joined SHIELD. 'kinda hard to call yourself an outcast when surrounded by trained assassins, the jolly green giant, a guy who can bench press a semi, and Tony who deserves his own warning label after all the weird shit I've walked in on him doing."

Bucky gives a distant nod while starting at his feet," now that SHIELD's gone, what-?"

"-Whatever I decide, I guess," you cut him off," Natasha's been pestering me to join the Avengers, so I might as well give that a try eventually. Of course, there's still the personal goals of mine I want to check off the list, too, now that I'll have the time for it.”

"What goals are those?"

"Glad you finally asked, Barnes, because I have three," you hold up the same number of fingers, lowering one for each item," first up is making sure we get you all sorted out. I want to make sure you get to live the very life you deserve-"

"-You don't-," he begins with a frown, however you don't give him the chance to finish.

"-No, I don't have to. I said I want to. Whether you like it or not, you're my mission and friend. I never give up on either; don’t ever forget that.”

Once again, the same red tint returns to his cheeks yet he attempts to ward it off by stubbornly crossing his arms and changing the subject," second?"

"Second...Hmm...I think I'm going to buy a house in the country second. One with a big orchard, livestock, and perfect winters! Also heating that actually works."

That goal makes Bucky smile," third?"

Pausing with a glance his way, you smirk while lowering your last finger," finally marry my fiancé."

“You're actually engaged?" He blinks, his frown much deeper than it had been before with a flash of concern in his eyes.

"Yep...'have been for a looong time," resting your face in your hands, you let your cheshire grin melt into an adoring smile you sometimes wish would just give this poor clueless man a heavy hint," our relationship is a bit difficult like everything else in our lives, and I’m not entirely sure how I should approach it, but I refuse to give up on him now. I’ve waited far too long and after everything fate has put us through, it would be a tragedy not to marry him."

NEXT CHAPTER➡️

⬅️PREVIOUS CHAPTER

[erineverly]

“not that i’m complaining, but i wouldn’t mind if things settled down and got a bit more boring,” the curly-haired brunette muses with a laugh, doubting they’ll ever be boring, but hoping they’ll one day be less crazy. “mr presley, is that really you? back from the dead? and sounding better than ever!” gushing as she puts on her best starstruck fan act, she clasps a hand over her mouth and still lets out a squeal of sheer excitement. “alright, boxers it is.” she nods and kisses the top of his head, picking her fights wisely and deciding there’s really no point in trying to convince him to wear something else to bed. she wants him to be comfortable and able to fall asleep easily, not tossing and turning all night because his pajamas are driving him insane. “i’m so sorry, axl. i feel like a lot of what i said that day was unnecessary and i could have kept it to myself, but… guess that’s why i need to see a professional. this idea’s finally grown on me. i don’t want to lash out and hurt you when my emotions get the best of me. and it’s silly, but i need someone to show me how to do it, how deal with what i’m feeling without hurting others.” the least she can do now is assure him that none of those cruel words are true. “i didn’t really give up on you either. well, at first, i wanted to but then i realized that i couldn’t — i can’t live without you,” she shyly admits, glancing over her shoulder toward the bathroom in hopes of meeting her husband’s gaze. “oh, so you have a type, huh? has to be a brunette?” teasing, a faint laugh escapes her lips but then quickly dies down when she takes in her surroundings. gosh. this room has never looked so bad, she thinks, but can’t really blame axl. he’s been trying his best to survive, one day at a time.  “well, i might be wrong but i think pam is naturally a brunette. they just dye or bleach her hair because apparently most men in hollywood disagree with you and believe blondes are hotter.” trailing across the room, she begins to pick up dirty dishes, bottles, plastic wrappers, tissues and whatever else she can find. she takes it all downstairs and squeezes it into the trash can. 

when she returns, she does so with a vacuum under her arm, figuring a little noise at four in the morning won’t bother any of their neighbors because they’re too far away to hear a thing. the biggest advantage of living in malibu, she thinks to herself, no more gabriella’s. it takes her about fifteen minutes to clean every speck of dust and another ten to change the sheets — it’s a bit of a struggle at first but then she gets the hang of it. it’s her first time changing the sheets on a bed as big as this all alone. she simply lacks experience and technique. “remember when i said that i wanted a huge, huge bed? well… if i knew how tough it was to change the sheets, i’d suggest we buy a twin.” laughing, she folds the dirty sheets up and carries this gigantic pile of fabrics straight to the laundry room. she comes and goes several more times, bringing in one item and leaving with something else, but when she’s done, she just stands in the doorway for a moment, hands on her hips, marveling at her work with pride. she feels so horrible, thinking about her husband spending the past few weeks in a filthy room, rotting away, and so this is the least she can do for him. “what a charmer you are, husband o’ mine,” she giggles, thinking about his comment on being a baywatch fan. she shakes her head in amusement at how smooth it was. she trials to the closet, steps in and swiftly changes out of her clothes once she knows the other can’t see her from where he’s sitting in the tub. she easily finds the muscle tee that they’ve been talking about and nuzzles into the soft material, breathing it in before she’ll put it on. after a moment of consideration, she also takes off her shorts. the combination of tears and snot has already dried up, but it’s still there. she grabs a pair of black calvin klein boxers for axl to wear and trots to the bathroom. “well, so would i. david hasselhoff ain’t got nothing on my man.” she’s a little out of breath but there’s a dazzling smile on her lips as she places his folded boxers on the counter and sits down on the closed toilet lid. “that’s the only thing that matters, what you think of me,” she coos, carefully dipping her hand into the tub to see if the water hasn’t gone cold yet. but now that he’s brought this subject up, she wonders who really made her doubt herself and comes to the conclusion that it must have happened during her teenage years, in new york, while she was trying to be a model and her body and face were the main subject of every conversation. she wants to blame her mother for letting her go to auditions when she was still so young and impressionable, but it would be unfair — she begged her mother to take her to a modeling agency, there were crying spells and endless arguments about this. she eventually got her way. “that’s your own spit. you don’t mind exchanging spit and other bodily fluids with me, but you draw the line at spitting toothpaste into the tub?” she giggles because for some reason his line of thought is beyond amusing to her. “well? did you wash your peach and richard while i was gone like a good boy?” she playfully inquires, pressing her lips together to keep from laughing again.

“it definitely has to be.” according to how many ups and downs they have. “you’re the devil in disguise, oh yes you are,” he sings in a deep voice, playfully smiling then it turns into a sweeter one when she hugs his head. “boxers will work.” it’s more comfortable for him that way, some people prefer more clothes and some don’t to sleep in. he’s always been the latter. “yeah, i remember. cause it hurt more than anything. but i’m glad to know it wasn’t true after all.” since it made him feel like he had done a lot to make her hate him. “i didn’t give up on you, i thought it was the other way around and i couldn’t really blame you though.” “well, i don’t. i like those brunettes. you’re gorgeous too. it’s crazy how you don’t see why i think you’re the prettiest woman in the world. just crazy.” shaking his head, especially when he can’t believe he even got a wife as beautiful as her. “i would be if you were in it.” he replies, smiling cheekily. “i love you too. i don’t know who didn’t tell you that you weren’t beautiful growing up, but it’s really sad. you’re so beautiful and naturally beautiful. i know i’m not crazy on that.” crazy about a lot of things, but not this one. “no it wouldn’t, the paste would still be all in my water and that’s fuckin’ gross.” shaking his head, chuckling and squeezing the paste onto his toothbrush. “i’m good, babe. go ahead.” nodding, he starts brushing his teeth until a few minutes later when he’s finished that and spits it out into the trash can. places his toothbrush on the ledge then lies back, crossing his arms over his chest and rests his eyes for a second.

[zodiakuroo]

pierced

idk what to tell you this is just 2k of pussy eating (don’t blame me blame eren brain rot)

18+, minors dni

part 2

“What did you do?!” You say, incredulously. It’s a rhetorical question, you can see exactly what he’s done. Eren stands in front of you, shamelessly, with his pants and boxers dropped to his ankles as his flaccid penis hangs between his thighs. Your attention is mainly focused on the brand new, shiny titanium barbell that goes through the head of his dick.

“Do you like it?” You can tell by his posture and the shit-eating grin on his face that he’s incredibly proud of his newest body modification.

“Why on earth would you get a piercing there?” The bulbous head is just few shades of pink darker than the rest of his pale shaft. You wince in your seat, imagining what it would feel like to stick a needle right through your most sensitive parts.

“Well, it was a dare and Jean bet that I wouldn’t so I had to.” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, fully aware of how silly it sounds as he says it out loud.

“Of course.” You mutter. What other chain of events would lead to your boyfriend coming home with a fucking Prince Albert. “Does it hurt?” You lean in just a little closer and notice the little bit of dried blood where the jewelry pierces his flesh.

“Nah. Didn’t feel a thing.” He says with a wink and begins dressing himself again before dropping down on couch next you, throwing his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his chest.

“You’re such an idiot.” You giggle, nuzzling your head into his neck, inhaling the heady scent you’ve come to associate with him.

“There is one thing though.” His voice is softer, lacking it’s usual self-assured tone. He can’t say that he’s happy about what he’s about to tell you. In fact, had he known about this small detail beforehand he might not have gone through with that stupid dare.

“Hmm?” You respond noncommittally, too preoccupied by your current task of leaving gentle kisses on his jaw and giving him the soft affection you know he loves but will never ask for.

“No sex for a month. Piercer’s orders.” His eyes drift down cautiously to gauge your reaction.

You stop in your tracks and frown up at him. At first you think he’s kidding but no such luck. “Oh my god.” You groan. “You’re such an idiot.”

Three days.

A grand total of three days.

It’s sad really, but you should have seen it coming. Like Eren Jaeger’s libido would ever let him go a whole 30 days with no sex.

He blames you and the way you prance around the apartment in those tight, short shorts. How is he not supposed to want you when he has to spend the day watching your tits bounce around in that white tank top, nipples just barely visible through the fabric?

It’s not like you put up much of a fight anyways. The way that man has you wrapped around your finger, all it took was a few well-placed touches and whispers of how much he misses the way you feel and the way you taste. Just like that, Eren has you naked, legs hanging off the edge of the bed with his face buried in your cunt.

“Love this pussy.” He murmurs, nipping at the soft skin of your inner thigh. “Can’t live without it.”

He knows that he can’t be inside you. He knows. And yet he continues to torture himself because this is as close as he can get to what he really needs.

The rough pads of his fingertips massage your wall making you buck into his hand, silently begging for something deeper. He laps at you with his tongue, running it from your clit all the way down to your hole, licking up the slick that leaks out around his knuckles.

You feel the sparks of pleasure heating up your abdomen and you squeeze your thighs around his head, weaving your hands through his long, mahogany locks. ‘Eren’falls from your lips over and over in breathy mewls that only encourage him to keep going. His fingers put in double time hitting the special spot deep inside you while he seals his lips around clit and pulls it into his mouth. You dig your heels into his back to give you leverage to rut into his face as he pushes you closer and closer towards an inevitable orgasm.

You’re so hot and wet inside, squeezing so tight around his fingers. His mind conjures up memories of how good it felt to have your gooey walls clamping down on his dick and the soft cries you let out as he split you open.

He’s rock solid in his sweats right now and his cock hurts, sensitive tissue swelling and pulsating around his still fresh piercing. But he can’t think about that right now. All that’s on his mind is how badly he wants to be inside you right now. Any of your holes, it doesn’t matter which. But they’re all off limits.

Quite frankly, it pisses him off.

There is no choice but for him to take his frustrations out on your body. He slowly drags his fingers out of you, marveling at the way your needy cunt tries to pull him back in.

Before you can even protest Eren presses his fingers, still warm from your pussy and covered in your cream, against your lips.

“Open up.” He practically growls, voice thick with arousal.

You part your lips in response, letting him clean his fingers off using your tongue. Reflexively, you close your lips around them and begin to suck, moaning at the taste of yourself.

“God, princess.” He pants with his jaw slack. “Want your mouth around me so bad.”

It only motivates you to take his fingers deeper. Deep enough to make you gag as your drool runs down his knuckles while you swirl your tongue around his digits.

The way you look at him doesn’t help either. Usually you’d shy away from eye contact when he makes you do something embarrassing like this, sucking on his fingers like you’re sucking on his cock. But tonight is different. You stare straight at him with that heavy-lidded gaze, eyes glossy and full of want. The frustration is killing him, he can’t stand to look at you anymore so instead he gives his undivided attention to your cunt.

“Babe you wanna know something?” His breath fans over your soaked core, making you twitch in his hold. Something gives you the feeling that he’s not really talking to you, he’s talking to what’s between your legs. Although he’s not even looking at you, you still nod your head yes, so wound up you’ll take anything from him at this point.

“I read online,” He goes quiet for a moment, distracted at the way your weeping hole clenches around nothing, almost like it’s begging for him to fill it. “That dick piercings feel real good in pussy. I promise it’ll be worth it.”

Eren bends down to lick at your dripping hole, he slides his tongue all the way down, making sure not waste a single drop, stopping just above the tight ring of muscle making your squeal in surprise.

”Can you imagine it?” He drags is fingers from your lips, leaving a path of saliva down the valley of your breasts, across your stomach until he reaches your clit, rubbing the sensitive numb in slow, steady circles with his thumb while you fist the sheets trying to swallow the sounds he’s coaxing out of you. “How it’s gonna feel inside you? How it’s gonna hit that spot that makes you go dumb?”

Sure, he sounds composed but when you look down at him and see the way his pupils are blown wide, pretty pink tongue hanging slightly out of his mouth, you know he’s imagining it too.

“Gonna drive you crazy.” His calloused fingertips dig further into your pudgy thighs, clipped nails leaving little crescents indented in your skin. “Make you even more crazy for my cock than you already are.”

“Yeah ‘ren.” You gasp as he runs his tongue through your folds. “Wan’ your cock.” You babble mindless agreements at whatever filth he’s spewing, too fucked out and desperate for his cock to care.

Like the bastard he is, he chuckles at your response, satisfied with knowing that you want him just as bad as he wants you.

He leans forward and presses the flat of his tongue against your entrance, telling you (wordlessly) what he wants.

Beg

He wants you to beg for it.

And of course you oblige. You chant out ‘please Eren, please Eren, please Eren’ over and over again as if you’ve forgotten every other word.

He rewards for your obedience by pushing the slippery muscle into your hole, nice and slow savouring the way your tart essence covers his taste buds.

“Fuck- more please.” Your back arches off the bed in response but his left hand splays across your abdomen keeping you in place.

His right thumb is still rubbing you, pressing harder, going faster while he drives his tongue even deeper licking up all of your juices like a man starved. He devours you shamelessly, the sloppy sounds only drowned out by your pornographic whining. He thrusts in and out, in and out, in and out, fucking you with his tongue, making sure to taste every inch of you.

Your flavor is addictive, he can’t get enough. He grunts against with his face shoved against you, sending vibrations from your core, right up your spine. His fingers and tongue assault your pussy mercilessly, setting every single nerve on fire.

“Baby- ah- I- I’m close” you whimper, feeling tension brewing in your core, threatening to burst at any second.

“No.” The hand that was playing with your pussy comes down hard on your puffy clit, the sound of the smack echoing in the quiet room.

You let out a cry, so high pitched you can hardly believe it’s your voice.

“Can’t come until I do.” Just like that, he’s off of you completely, leaving you trembling without his touch.

The pain and frustration have tears brimming at your lash line. How cruel of him. To dangle an orgasm right in front of your face before yanking it away. You begin to stammer out pleas, begging him to touch you again, but they fall on deaf ears.

“C’mon princess. ‘S only fair right?” He looks up at you with the sweetest, emerald puppy dog eyes, juxtaposing the lewd way he licks the remnants of your arousal from his swollen lips.

It’s not fair at all. You weren’t the one who decided to get their dick pierced on a whim. Why should you have to suffer? But there’s too much blood in your throbbing cunt and not enough in your brain so you can hardly put together a coherent sentence, let alone argue with him.

“Gonna edge you like this every day yeah?” He shifts his body to hover over you, using his arms to hold himself up so that his nose barely brushes yours and stray stands of his messy hair tickle the sides of your face. “Till I get to fuck you again.” He dips down to kiss you on the lips. It’s barely more than a peck, far too chaste and gone far too soon.

“Christ, I can’t wait to fuck you again.”