#moron dog therian
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POV i am a dog and you are talking about me and i have no idea what you're saying but i heard my name and now i have jumped into your lap. i am on your ribs
#moron dog therian#caninekin#dogkin#therian#canine therian#dog therian#alterhuman#nonhuman#canine kin#alterhumanity#dog kin#belgian malinois therian
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Housamo Fic - Two Dog Warriors Walk Into A Cafe
Ding-a ling~
Shinya Tennoji is picking up empty cups and plates from the tables when he sees a small pink and a large brown Therian enter his cafe. Hazelnut strawberry and matcha dark chocolate. They make a rather charming pair, he thinks.
“Oh my, Tanetomo and Yasuyori! It’s so nice to see the two of you again!”
Yasuyori beams. Tanetomo scoffs.
“We’re just here to use the coupons you gave us. We happened to be close by, so we figured we’d scope your place out.”
Shinya’s glad to see them, and glad they hadn’t shown up until a good amount of time after the Valentine’s Snowball Fight Shinya had met the two at had passed. Days after an absence of his at the cafe were always busier than normal, to speak nothing of a missed Valentine’s Day shift.
“Aw, I’m happy to hear that! Yes, see what on the menu you’d like, and order at the front when you’re ready.”
“Shinya Tennoji. I hope for your sake that what you just said was a simple case of you automatically rattling off whatever generic customer greeting phrases first popped into your brain when you saw us, and not you assuming me to be so moronic I never learned how to order from a cafe.”
“Ahaha, it was most definitely a case of the former, Tanetomo.”
“Well, perhaps Yasuyori might have needed the assistance, so good on you for being such a diligent and attentive employee.”
“Counselor! You have seen me function perfectly well at the plenty of other establishments we have been to together before!”
There are some minimally subdued rumblings from the regulars about the fresh faces who have entered the cafe.
“At least...not fawning…Shinya, but…” “Treat… more respect…holes…” “...think they’re …type?” “… are pretty cute…”
Tanetomo’s ears twitch at the last comment. He does a hair flip and a whimsical 360 degree twirl for the crowd as naturally as he draws breath, which is to say: effortlessly yet with intention, before returning to scanning the menu.
Taromaiti is at the cash register. She observes this action without judgment or reaction. Hermes isn’t here today, but it’s what you could call a slow day, so Shinya doesn’t particularly mind. Kalki is busy preparing food and cleaning dishes in the back, so he does not get to witness this 10s-across-the-board maneuver.
Cafe Asterism’s patrons tend to get upset when Shinya isn’t the server or cashier, but he wishes he could be on cooking duty during cafe hours more often sometimes. Oh well. He wishes for a lot of things that can’t come true. He returns to what he was doing before hand, and Tanetomo and Yasuyori make their order.
“Iced coffee. Grande. And a bread pudding.”
“Could I have… a venti sized matcha frappuccino? Five Monte Cristos, and two shortbreads, please.”
Yasuyori pays for them both, and they take a seat.
“Oh, 1 hour seating?” “Well, we won’t be staying long. Anybody who could find something in here even remotely interesting enough to justify spending over an hour in this place (aside from the presence of yours truly, of course) would have to be quite the simple minded kook.”
It’s a subtle dig at Shinya, and the corners of his lips curl up a little. But, for somebody whose goal was to win over Shinya’s “adoring throng of fans to show them who was truly worthy of their love”, as Tanetomo had put it, Shinya wasn’t quite sure if…ah, what was it called? If, “negging”, was the right direction to take.
The people seated nearby Tanetomo and Yasuyori smile upside down. There are definitely some unsavory feelings to be felt in the air, but romantic rival nor direct threat to Shinya’s life/ego (it’s the same thing to them really) Tanetomo does not yet appear to be, so they keep to themselves.
Shinya drops off crockery in the sink, and Kalki has already completed the preceding order for Shinya to serve. Kalki’s insane multi-tasking skills are one thing, but that combined with his four, rugged, heat-resistant arms puts him on a whole nother level when it comes to cafe work. Shinya could sing his praises about Kalki all day long, but not out loud. Kalki would explode the world from embarrassment before any of Shinya’s fans could do it for him in a fit of an envious rage. So Shinya settles for a simple ‘thank you Kalki’ and serves Moe-chan her order, who smiles and says thanks.
When Tanetomo and Yasuyori’s orders are completed, Shinya brings their food over.
“Wow! It looks so good! Thank you, Tenn-”
“Taste test for poison.” Tanetomo spoons a scoop of pudding into Yasuyori’s mouth, and then a strawful of iced coffee.
“Gulp. Delicious! No poisons identified, Counselor.”
Shinya wonders if this is Tanetomo’s roundabout way of sharing his food with Yasuyori, some sort of twisted display of dominance, or if poisoning attempts really are frequent enough to be something they actually needed to watch out for. Regardless, it’s a somewhat endearing scene, in a darkly comedic sort of way.
They are in dangerous territory too after all, Shinya acknowledges. He smiles at the two and leaves them to go attend to the other customers.
Yasuyori takes a small sip of his frappe before setting it down on a coaster. The drink is now already half empty.
“Give me some of your drink.”
Tanetomo has already snatched it before his sentence is even finished and tries some. He drinks a quarter of it, and Yasuyori nibbles on one of his cookies before giving it to Tanetomo.
The two of them efficiently dine and chat. As Tanetomo consumes the bread pudding and his drink at a surprisingly fast yet visually refined pace, Yasuyori piles three Monte Cristos on top of one another to impressively bite down on all at once, and then hands the remaining two to Tanetomo who proceeds to do the same.
Wow. Shinya can already feel his jaw locking from just looking at them, but it also kind of makes him want to try it out as well.
Yasuyori finishes his sandwiches and cookie first, and then stares at the one he had given to Tanetomo. Tanetomo purses his lips and tells him to go buy some more for the both of them to-go. Yasuyori complies.
To Shinya’s surprise, Tanetomo calls out to him.
“Don’t think I haven't been seeing you side-eye us the entire time, Shinya Tennoji.”
Oopsies. Looks like Shinya Tennoji got caught. He wasn’t bombastically ‘side-eyeing’, as Tanetomo had verbally interpreted it as, but he really thought he was doing good about not being that obvious observing them. He hopes the other customers haven’t been as perceptive and paranoid today as Tanetomo is in general, but he’s been pretty good about personably interacting with everybody so he thinks it’ll be okay.
“So was the entertainment of our dining in your establishment to your satisfaction?”
“Aha, sorry, sorry. It’s not like I wasn’t looking, but the two of you seemed like you were having a lot of fun. I always want to see my customers having a good time at Cafe Asterism.”
“Hmph. Is that so.”
Well, yes. That is so, Shinya thinks. He most certainly does not like to see people having a bad time at Cafe Asterism, when the reasoning for most everybody gathering here tending to be because of him.
“Ahhh… could it be that... that wasn’t the case for you two today?”
His hands come up to his chin. It’s an endearing pose that he finds tends to quell agitated customers, but it only serves to scrunch up Tanetomo’s expression even more. Shinya holds back a smile.
“The atmosphere here is not to my standards. The interior design doesn’t help either.”
Shinya’s proud of his quaint little cafe, but he knows it’s just that. A quaint little cafe. That also attracted a lot of… rather strong-willed habitué . So he can acquiesce to that opinion. And besides, Tanetomo was not saying Shinya’s decorating was making the atmosphere worse! He can take that part as a compliment.
Anyways, the only opinion on his cafe that truly mattered was Retail Food Health and Safety Code’s opinion, and Cafe Asterism was up to snuff.
“Aww…. Tanetomo, I’m so sorry to hear that. I’d love for you and Yasuyori to come again sometime… but if you’ve lost all interest in returning to Cafe Asterism, then I completely understand.”
He doesn’t want them to never return again. But it’s not a bad thing to let people run while they still can either.
“I’d be significantly more incentivized to return if I had some more coupons to use at a next visit. The food is up to par, I can at least say.”
“Hehee. At least that can be arranged.” He pulls some from out of his apron pocket. “Here you go, Tanetomo.”
He smoothly plucks them from Shinya’s fingers and looks them over.
“You just give these out to whoever asks?” “When I feel like…I have extra, I guess.”
Shinya feels a presence behind him and turns around. Oh, it’s Moko.
“Sh…Shinya… sorry, cuz’ I overheard…but could…. I have a coupon, too…?”
Moko gets the words out just audibly enough for only Shinya to hear, but Shinya knows it’s only a matter of time before people will begin to gather round, and Tanetomo seems to sense this looming phenomenon as well.
“My, one’s heart can't help but be tugged at by such pitiful displays of desperation…”
Yasuyori returns with a paper bag of confections in hand, and Tanetomo gets up to leave.
“I’m off.” He spins, his hair elegantly following in a curve, and heads to the exit.
“Farewell Shinya!” Yasuyori gives a friendly wave goodbye, and Shinya turns around to reciprocate.
When he turns back to respond to Moko, and Sumael, Amon, and Rue who have also begun to crowd around Shinya, he hears the bell of the exit door ring as it is opened and Tanetomo calls out from behind.
“Customer service wasn’t bad either. Give my regards to Miss Taromaiti and the chefs.”
The door closes shut.
“I was still right here to give regards to, you know,” Taromaiti remarks amusedly from the front register.
Shinya proceeds in the distribution of coupons to his patrons who have circled around him.
#my art#housamo#housamo shinya#yasuyori#tanetomo#housamo tanetomo#housamo yasuyori#shinya tennoji#housamo fanfic#tokyo afterschool summoners#sorrryyy not too sure how accurately i wrote Tanetomo and Yasuyori here but i really was trying#edit: F WORD. coffee and matcha are toxic for dogs#gahhhh idc idc
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🌹Me? Turning out to be a hound dog therian after all of these months of crazy strong "cameo" shifts? More likely than you think!🌹
#this just in!#im a dog#which explains a lot#and a hound dog#which explains more#i imprinted with them at a very young age as i uses to go english horseback foxhunting all the time with my mom#we didnt actually hurt any foxea dont worrg#but i adored the hounds!!#the baying and the barks spoke to my soul yall#i always loved hounds#makes perfect sense that i am one#boy im a moron#therian#hound therian#therianthropy#floppy ears and belly rubs have just been my life
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as a Malinois i would absolutely not do anything with full effort haha, all dogs are different
i will however say that doing those things make me happier!
Sometimes being a dog IS my motivation for things
Yea we could sleep in OR we could do our stretches so eventually we can curl into a ball and scratch our ears with our back legs
Wanna quit our run early? Yea but do you see Malinois?? A Mal would do this with full effort 10000%
#moron dog therian#dogkin#dog therian#therian#caninekin#therianthropy#canine kin#belgian malinois therian#belgian malinois kin
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are you guys telling me that you are SUPPOSED to sleep in ONE DIRECTION in your bed for the REST OF FOREVER. i will literally change sleeping directions every single night what. just spin in circles until you get comfortable what. this is not barbie dream house ?? sleep how you want in your own bed. what
#moron dog therian#canine therian#caninekin#dogkin#dog therian#therian#alterhuman#canine kin#nonhuman#alterhumanity#dog kin#belgian malinois therian#belgian malinois kin#police dog therian#police dog kin
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I may be a dog but i really like the term Werewolf and Weredog
Reminder that your terms dont have to make sense to everybody else. they're yours, not theirs
#canine therian#caninekin#dog therian#dogkin#therian#alterhuman#nonhuman#canine kin#dog kin#alterhumanity#belgian malinois kin#belgian malinois therian#moron dog therian#weredog kin#clinical cynanthrope
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I love how when people think Belgian Malinois they think about those dogs who can climb walls and do backflips and stuff. and then they meet me and the most talent I can give them is sneezing into my food bowl
#moron dog therian#caninekin#therian#canine therian#dogkin#dog therian#alterhuman#canine kin#nonhuman#alterhumanity#dog kin#belgian malinois therian
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I found an ACDC dog collar at the dollar store and you already know my punk rock dog ass got that. its so comfortable too, no scratchy plastic pieces or anything, and fits me perfectly. Score for the punk dogs!
#caninekin#dogkin#therian#canine therian#dog therian#alterhuman#canine kin#nonhuman#alterhumanity#dog kin#belgian malinois therian#punk therian#punk rock dog#moron dog therian
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UM??? GUYS??? LOOK AT THIS ART FROM @murdermortician OF MY THERIOTYPE ???? i am. going insane actually. i am going so crazy no you guys have no idea. literally everybody go send them money do it now empty your wallets into their bank account (/j)
#moron dog therian#i love my friends what#therian art#canine therian#caninekin#dog therian#dogkin#alterhuman#therian#nonhuman#canine kin#dog kin#alterhumanity#belgian malinois kin#belgian malinois therian
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"What did you just lick off the kitchen floor?!" literally mind your business. its gone now wtf do you care damn
#moron dog therian#canine therian#caninekin#dog therian#dogkin#therian#alterhuman#nonhuman#canine kin#dog kin#alterhumanity#belgian malinois therian#belgian malinois kin#police dog therian#police dog kin
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you're telling me the sticky shit you put on my paws for me to lick off was MEDICINE???? betrayal. Always, from you people.
#caninekin#dogkin#canine therian#therian#dog therian#alterhuman#canine kin#nonhuman#alterhumanity#dog kin#belgian malinois therian#moron dog therian
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UM 100 FOLLOWERS ???? WHAT ??? WHAT??? HOW. HOW. ILY GUYS SO MUCH /P WHAT
#canine therian#caninekin#dog therian#dogkin#therian#alterhuman#nonhuman#canine kin#dog kin#alterhumanity#100 followers#moron dog therian#belgian malinois kin#belgian malinois therian
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