#mormons kinda

[mistyeyesofthemountainpeaks]

So funny little story that I randomly remembered, is this one day I’m rambling at work about LoTR, and then as a chatty rambler does I ended up switching topics because “oh that reminds me [insert new topic here for next half an hour]” anyway, at some point i mentioned I was gay and my coworker just basically makes this “finally” gesture and says that she couldt tell if I was gay or not because of how much I was rambling about LoTR earlier because apparently, in her experience nobody loves LoTR more than the gays, to which I responded that the Mormons might. And she laughed, and said that it was funny because she’s both(okay technically I think she’s an ex-mo, but that’s not the point) and then I laughed because guess what? I am too!

[jamesrambles]

seeing everything about the secret lives of mormon wives is so weird to me because

1. I didn’t grow up in Utah so some of the more cultural vs. doctrinal societal norms weren’t really prevalent

2. I have very chill parents who love the religion but also know that the church institution itself is fallible and religion/practice are personal above all else

so it feels almost alien??? Like I grew up in the church, and even though I’m pagan now I still enjoy going to church with family when I’m in town and I feel up to it. I have ties there. I love a lot of the people in the ward I grew up in.

it feels like this show is talking about something I’m barely even familiar with. Idk. It’s also frustrating because I really want someone from outside of the church to take us seriously enough to do an actual deep dive into the cosmology/culture/structure and general history of the church without affirming or outright condemning all of it. There’s so much nuance in people’s relationships with church and it makes me kinda sad that we never get that.

idk I maybe need to start incorporating some Mormon characters with actual nuance into writing projects ‘cause… I’m sad sometimes lol

(also if I have to explain one more time to someone that an institution can be bad/have serious flaws without being a cult I’m going to lose it. SOME BRANCHES OF THE CHURCH FIT THE BITE MODEL. SOME DO NOT. STOP USING CULT AS A BUZZWORD. I grew up with people saying Mormonism was a cult. I also know someone who was raised in an actual cult, and trust me, the cultish-ness of lds religious practice is based on a wide variety of factors and where you live. I personally think it’s pretty rude to just tell someone you barely know that they’re in a cult with no research or sensitivity around it.)

[geekcentre]

Time for the funtimes!

(click for better quality)

[phoneyboris]

just me and the imaginary version of edgar I made in my head

[smiley-mcdoggington]

"Pines." A voice barked. "Up."

Ford dragged himself off the bench on numb legs. He didn't dignify the officer with a glance while he rolled open the cell door, brushing past them just slow enough they could keep up.

His brother stood at the front desk of the precinct, looking about as sour as usual. "Ford, what the hell." He said, like he'd said a dozen times before.

Ford rolled his eyes. "She was the one that stole from me. I appreciate my visits here about as much as you do."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just get in the fucking car, Six." He said, and Ford strolled out of the building to the old El Diablo while his twin asked more about his charges.

When Stanley finally got out, he had some papers in his hand and a scowl on his face. He got into the passanger seat and threw the papers on the dash. "You wanna know how much you cost this time? Twenty fucking grand, Stanford! What kind of horseshit are you pulling here?"

Ford started his car without a word.

"What the hell did she even steal from you? I coulda replaced it, woulda taken less than your lawyer I'll tell you that."

"She took my batteries, Stan, what was I supposed to do? The government won't give me a patent for the damn things, she could have sold my work."

"You damn near killed her, Ford! You know if you need money I can--"

"It's not about money, Stanley! You wouldn't get it!"

"Oh alright asshole, you're right I don't get why you assaulted a college kid in her apartment for stealing your batteries because it was fucking stupid!"

Ford pulled over into a curb. "Well you'd know all about stupidity, wouldn't you Stanley?!"

"That's it! This is the last time I'm bailing you out, Ford! I'm sick of fighting Carla for you, I'm sick of risking my career for you, I'm sick of paying for defense lawyers for you, I'm sick of--" Ford grabbed him by the front of his sleezy button-down and pressed their lips together.

Stan's hand trying to push him off relaxed after a moment, before grabbing a handful of Ford's coat and pulling him closer. The stick shift dug into Ford's stomach, he didn't care, reaching over to tangle his fingers in Stan's hair.

Ford pulled away, Stan almost followed him. "You need a haircut." Ford muttered.

"I like it." Stan said, barely paying attention, eyes pointed downward shamelessly.

Ford hummed, leaning forward to put his chin on Stan's shoulder. "Suppose it would make a good handle." He mumbled in his twin's ear, tugging a little for emphasis. Stan grunted. Ford ran his other hand up Stan's thigh. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Just letting yourself be pulled around, right to where I want you." He slipped his thumb under Stan's pants, just too far away to touch. "That's why you always come back, isn't it? You want me to grab you by the hair like a mutt, take the choices away from you."

Stan swallowed his saliva, close enough for Ford to hear.

"You want me, Stanley?" He tightened his grip on his hair. "You want to be good?" Stan made a low rumble of a noise at that. Ford leaned back, and Stan leaned forward until it was Stan with the stick shift digging into him - it might have slid out of park to give Stanley room, it was probably fine.

Ford used his grip on Stan's hair to shove his face into the crotch of his old jeans. Stan froze for a second before reaching his hands up. Ford swatted them. "No." He said, and Stan's hands returned to half-propping himself up.

Stan looked up at him, confused.

"Just your mouth."

Stan immediately got the zipper between his teeth and pulled it down. The broken button didn't last a second without his fly up, and Stanley looked like he was about to say something about the state of his clothes. Ford gripped Stan's hair tighter and pulled himself out, shoving the tip in his mouth.

Stan's jaw immediately went slack. He looked up at Ford with anticipation.

Ford shoved him the rest of the way down - rutting into his face until his chest started seizing trying to inhale, before dragging him up and back down again with half a breath to sustain himself. "Good. God, Stanley, that's good. So good for me."

Stanley made a short whine in the back of his throat, his own hips rutting into nothing but air. Spit leaked down the corner of his mouth, his eyes struggling to stay looking up at Ford.

"Disgusting." Ford murmured. "You wanna come, don't you, baby?" He asked, before pulling him off for a breath.

"Ye-yeah. Stanford--" Ford pulled him back down.

"Just a little longer, I'm almost done." Ford said while Stanley's eyes watered.

Ford set a fast pace that left Stanley struggling to cough, but then he twisted his hand in Stan's hair and Stan's moan sent him over the edge, riding himself out in the back of Stan's throat before pulling him off and up.

Stan looked dazed, like he barely knew where he was. Ford dragged him forward into a kiss while a hand reached down to pull him out, jerking him quick and dry while Stan groaned into his mouth. Stan came after only a few seconds, staining that awful button-down and leaving him holding onto Ford's shoulders for dear life while he shuttered.

Ford let Stan breathe for a second.

"You gotta stop doing this, Six..." Stan panted after a minute or two.

Ford hummed. "You seemed to enjoy yourself."

"Not this part."

"But you'll take care of it, won't you? The charges?"

"Yeah, yeah." Stan's voice was wrecked. "I gotcha, Sixer."

"Good."

[enbydaysaint42]

Man I wish the church would affirm MY identity

[junpeijackflash]

Playing TGAA has gotten me into reading Sherlock Holmes, and what I’ve taken away from it so far is that this guy is apparently a fucking Mormon

[genderfuckingaround]

Probably the most evil thing about this cult is that it thrives off of children. Most of the people in this cult were born into it and groomed to stay in it. Even if we don’t want to go we have no choice because our parents make us go. I feel so fucking trapped here and I want to rip Nelson’s fucking throat out

[icannotgetoverbirds]

buckle up, this one's a doozy

Idk if it's actually a doozy, but this is the story of how I deconverted from a cult and got my egg cracked at approximately the same time, all thanks to... weed.

Let's set the scene, shall we?

It is December 22nd, 2021. The pandemic has been raging for nearly two years at this point. I am, at this point, still a believing mormon. That said, my attendance to church meetings has been incredibly spotty, with the most reliable method to get me to worship being choir practice.

I am laying in my bed in the evening, and of all possible things, I am thinking about weed. Namely, the church's policy about weed, and the absolute failure that is the war on drugs, and my personal belief system (and also about whether or not I should try weed for my anxiety disorder).

What's mormonism's policy on weed, you ask? Well, it's surprisingly liberal for a whole-ass cult, but still has enough nonsense for the events of this story to play out. To put it simply, you can absolutely use weed for medicinal purposes, but recreational purposes is a big no-no.

This, of course, presents a dilemma: where do you draw the line between recreational and medicinal use, especially in the case of, say, using it to medicate an anxiety disorder? I'm sure that the Church-Approved™ conclusion is "That's between you and The Lord, figure it out yourself, good luck!" I don't remember if I came to that conclusion or not, but I know for a fact that my "prove beyond a shadow of a doubt before you make an important decision based off of Feelings Supposedly From God Or The Holy Spirit" ass would not have been satisfied with that answer.

So I think about it in terms of politics, and logic, and science. After all, science is just our frail and minuscule way of comprehending all that Our Father Who Art In Heaven has created, right? So if Our Father Who Art In Heaven can't give me a straight answer, science surely can.

I come to a few conclusions. First of all, there are very few people, if any, who are qualified to draw that line. I am not included in that group of people. Secondly, nobody in their right goddamned mind would so much as try to draw that line unless they have some serious qualifications in the variety of fields that it applies to. Third of all, and this is where shit starts to unravel very fucking quickly: who in the goddamned fuck are a bunch of old white men who've probably never seen a gram of weed in their entire lives to think themselves qualified to draw that line?

The shelf cracks. The prophets are fallible, even in this day and age. Not only are they fallible, but whoever made this decision is a FUCKING DUMBASS. God must be looking down at them and shaking his head disapprovingly, huh?

So I think to myself, yknow what, this is a stupid fucking rule. And my autistic-disregard-for-stupid-fucking-rules-having-ass was not about to tolerate it. So what do I do? Metaphorically speaking, I chuck it out the window. Who cares? I'm gonna do weed for my anxiety, and if anybody tells me that I'm disobeying god, I can tell them that god doesn't fucking give a shit about weed if he's as kind and loving as the prophets say he is.

A moment passes.

Now wait just a goddamned second! If I'm chucking this rule out the window, isn't there something else I should re-examine? If I'm disregarding what the prophets have said for my own pleasure and recreation, isn't there something regarding the lives, livelihoods, and joie de vivre of countless other people, myself included, that I should be looking at?

Suddenly, the years of (pent-up and suppressed) sheer fucking indignation of the way queer people have been othered by the church hits me all at once, full fucking force. I am angry, angrier than I have ever been. Abso-fucking-lutely not. No. If the prophets are wrong about weed, then they're DEFINITELY wrong about queer people.

And in this moment, I make a decision. "Until the mormon leaders get their shit together, I'm out! I'm fucking done! I'm gonna go live it up and get blazed out of my gourd for shits and giggles, and maybe I'll try a tiny sip of beer, and by god I am going to transition-"

"HEY WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED SECOND"

[Plain text ID: Text in a large, bold, italicized red font that reads "HEY WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED SECOND"]

Shelf shattered, omelette made of my egg, life ruined for the better.

The next morning, I come out to my mom and sister. I still believe in god and mormonism and yadda yadda, I just think the leadership needs to get their heads out of their asses.

Not long after, I decide to finally check out exmormon spaces. Yknow, get the full experience.

I am bombarded with "HOLY FUCK IT'S A CULT. IT RUINED MY LIFE. IT RUINED YOUR LIFE. IT TORE MY FAMILY APART. IT'S NOT EVEN REAL. READ THE CES LETTER, CHECK MORMONISM AGAINST THE BITE MODEL. THINK FOR YOUR GODDAMNED SELF FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE."

I check the sources provided. Well, I'll be damned. They weren't kidding, that mormonism sure can cult started by a con man. At this point, I am now beyond the point of no return. There's no going back. I have seen the light. I want out forever, I want my records removed, mom pick me up I'm scared.

My family never looks at me the same way again :>

[wilcze-kudly]

Bolin and Opal's interactions are so much more enjoyable and funny if I tell myself they're both gay and they're bearding for each other.

[lady-ika]

hi have some scenes from a fanfic/comic i probably wont make

this is my X-men oc, Spellbook.

she can copy (simple) powers out of (fictional) books if she understands them but she can only carry three at a time before she has to switch the oldest one out

[somesecretpie]

Oh by the way, for anyone that isn’t aware, I’ll be at Salt Lake City FanX tomorrow (Thursday) from 2-5pm). I got a little table and everything. Come say hi if you can.

[theater-goul]

First mcpriceley art uhh YYIPPEEEE

[cheesymorgue]

i am...so normal about them...

[milkwithalittlebitofsadness]

Guys hear me out

Tbom sequel/spin-off which follows one of/a couple of the elder pairs from Salt Lake City (the ones that appear in hello and two by two)

[taffywabbit]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit personal of a question, but I was in your stream last night when you were talking about dreams and mentioned being raised Mormon, and I'm curious: do you find yourself avoiding people who go to that church, or do you have friends from that time who still go that you keep up with? Do you find yourself in good company who respect your decision to leave or do you encounter mostly hostility?

honestly I'm not really sure! as someone who mostly socializes online these days as an openly queer leftist furry, I can't say I really run into any active church members very often haha. we don't really run in the same circles at all. the only ones I do still see are at family gatherings or whatever (most of my extended family are mormon too, and tbh I'm not even quite sure how many of them actually know i quit church 5 years ago - I get the feeling my parents didn't go around announcing it to everyone lol)

I do definitely avoid people I already used to know through church though. my old FB messages are full of unopened "hey how are things?" messages from former missionary companions and ppl from the young adult congregation I used to attend at the start of college, because (at least with the latter) i know my name probably came up in a meeting and they got assigned to reach out to me and figure out why i left church and how to get me back. I don't really bear ill will towards those people themselves, but I was in that church for 20+ years and I know EXACTLY how much persistence and borderline stalking the members are tasked with under the guise of "outreach" and "service". I've been on the other side of those meetings and efforts enough times. people talk about it being hard to leave for a reason, so I didn't take any chances. removed my contact info from the church directory, ignored any calls and texts I got, ghosted the guys I used to play D&D with, and obviously didn't tell anyone when I moved. I do think about some of the people I knew as a missionary or in that YSA branch fondly sometimes and wonder how they're doing, but I simply can't risk letting myself become known to the church again or I'll have missionaries showing up at my door to use all of their specially-trained 18yo guilt-tripping abilities to bring me back.

(all of this being said, my immediate family is at least a lot more accepting of my decision nowadays than most extended family members or other mormons who know I left the church. they were pretty upset when they first found out - tbf I HAD been openly lying to them for a few months before I decided to break the news - but I think at some point after seeing me in person again after a few years had passed, they saw i hadn't immediately become a meth dealer or whatever and seemed happy and stable and decided not to push the issue. they don't ask me to pray with them or attend church when I visit anymore, but they do still talk openly about their responsibilities in church because they know i understand what they're talking about, and I'm fine with that. as long as they don't put my current address and phone number back into the church directory, we're cool for the time being - at least until I come out to them, which might make things more complicated lol)