#more than words mieko

[wlrsna]

the beauty of aroaces characters that have SO MUCH love, that irradiates care on they own special way, that love the people around them SO SO SO MUCH that they can't barely say a word about it-

[starrgaziinggg]

all I need is you

Hyunjin x reader, established relationship, fluff

-> 1.4k words

You almost don't notice the space beside you being filled. It had been hours, just staring at the city below you as the wind forced goosebumps to rise on your arms. Being alone had never bothered you much until today. Watching groups of friends gossiping around campus on your first day back only fuelled your desire to have a friend group of your own.

Girls you could talk about anything with. Guys that teased you lovingly. A firm body of people around you. It wasn't as though you'd never had friends, it was more so you couldn't find the place you naturally fit in. You were never any good at long term friendships, finding the forced nature of them disconcerting.

Hyunjin drops a hoodie on your lap before nestling in beside you, the make shift outdoor sofa you'd created one bored night being the only source of comfort on your rooftop. Until Hyunjin, of course. His warm aura brings you comfort even on your darkest days.

"Figured you'd be freezing to death up here," he chuckles, grabbing both of your hands in his to warm them. His freshly dyed black hair (a shame to you, since you'd loved the red, but his boss did not) blows into his face as he turns to give you a lopsided grin.

It's almost comical how at ease you feel now he's by your side, your feelings of loneliness evaporating almost instantly. He was a stroke of luck, Hyunjin, seemingly finding you when you needed him most. An art student, working long shifts in a local cafe to get by, who'd become a recluse voluntarily.

The bookstore you'd first met in was always desolate. You'd no idea how the small gem managed to stay afloat, since you were almost always the only person that bothered to give it time. It was one of your favourite places, the sole owner knowing you by name.

Six chapters into rereading your favourite book and there he was, nudging your foot with his as he flopped onto the beanbag beside you.

"Heaven, by Mieko Kawakami," he read aloud, tilting his head at you inquisitively. "Any good?"

A couple seconds after the shock of a gorgeous man interrupting your evening routine, you nod slowly.

"It's my favourite," you had replied in a small voice, confused as to why this god crafted human being was in a run down bookshop behind your apartment block, and why he was giving you the time of day.

"Tell me about it," he's said, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back, patiently waiting.

So you delved into a ramble about the basis of the book and why it meant so much to you, the premise of morality and why people do the things they do. And the whole time Hyunjin, as you'd come to discover his name, sat listening intently, nodding along without interrupting once.

When you'd concluded, realising you had been speaking much longer than you probably should have been, he raised his eyebrows.

"You know, I was never any good at English in school. I slept through every book analysis my dull ass English teacher ever attempted. And, I actually only came in here because it's one of the only stores in the area that has this art book I need, but I could probably listen to you talk about how to tie my own shoelaces and still be entranced."

The shellshock of Hyunjin's immediate interest in you took weeks to dissipate. You'd talked until the owner of the bookstore told you (lovingly) to beat it, and then some. The next day, you'd completed your summer university coursework in the cafe he worked at until his shift finished and then walked aimlessly around the area, never running out of topics to discuss.

And that was that. Within months you knew everything about each other. He took you to his favourite museum one day, explaining the intricacies behind every painting, and all you could do was watch him in awe. He walked you home, told you you were his favourite person in the universe, and kissed you because he meant it.

You'd never thought of yourself as a lucky person, but in that moment it was as though all your good karma had willed itself into existence.

"What's going on inside that head, pretty?" He says now, tilting your head up with his finger to meet his gaze.

"Nothing majorly substantial," you reply lazily, kissing his nose lightly and making him laugh. You tug on the jumper he'd brought you, a thick hoodie he'd bought recently, as he pulls an arm around your shoulders.

"Every thought you have is substantial," he says matter-of-factly, turning back to look at the view. The city noises dulled as he spoke, car horns and music white noise in the distance. "Even the ones about cats and why they're better than dogs."

"They are," you glare at him, which he just rolls his eyes at. You sit in silence for a couple minutes, enjoying his company as he traces circles on your bare legs absentmindedly. "How was your shift today?"

"Same old," he replies, pulling a hand through his disheveled hair. "You should come in after your classes tomorrow, sit with me behind the counter."

"You're lucky your boss likes you," you chuckle, bumping his shoulder lightly with yours. "I'm there every other day."

"Chan doesn't care," Hyunjin assures with a smile. "He likes you. He actually invited you along to our work night out next weekend."

"He did?" You ask, your attention piquing.

Hyunjin hums in response. "Yeah, but it will be a whole lot of Riki terrorising everyone and risking getting himself fired," he laughs. "That kid is a menace."

"Do you want me to come?" You ask sincerely, doe eyes blinking up at the man you were wholeheartedly in love with. He looks back at you with such adoration your heart physically swells in your chest.

"Of course," he answers instantly, his brows furrowed. "Everyone I work with probably likes you more than they like me. In fact, they've stated it more than once. Plus, I'd get to show off my pretty girlfriend, and I need you for morale support against Riki."

The grin appears of your face quicker than lightening as you nestle your head into Hyunjin's shoulder.

"Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have you in my life, you know," you mumble. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

You feel Hyunjin shake his head above you, before reaching for your face with both hands and making you stare at him.

"You're perfect, love," he smiles, rubbing his thumb against your cold cheek. "You can be a stubborn thing, but I love you for it. If you could see yourself through my eyes you'd understand why I'm so infatuated with you."

You can't help but to roll your eyes, a natural instinct to any compliment you receive. He shakes you gently as you laugh, as if attempting to rid you of all your negative thoughts.

"Now, get your ass inside your apartment. It's fucking freezing out here, and I'm shattered," he groans, standing up and pulling you along with him.

"You're staying over?" You ask excitedly, knowing he was going to classes early in the morning.

"Duh," he says sassily, leading you through the fire escape after intertwining your hand with his own. "I missed you like crazy at work today. Chan's new no phone rule is kicking my ass and I need a cuddle."

You laugh, following him down the stairs in your apartment building like a puppy. "You're cute today."

"I'm cute everyday," he counters, turning to tilt his head at you. You stop for a second, just staring down at him.

"I love you, you know?" You say, as if he's not already aware of how deep your feelings run for him. He just grins back at you, tugging you down the stairs and into his embrace.

“I love you too, angel,” he replies whilst wrapping his arms tightly around you.

Maybe you would never have the amount of friends you’d always desired. Maybe those deep rooted feelings of loneliness would never fully dissipate. But with Hyunjin by your side, you felt as though you didn’t need anything more.

I wrote this last night and wasn’t going to post it but I think it’s cute so here you go :) sorry for the inactivity, I am swamped rn but I’m trying my best!

[saburaii]

              サブ — the living dead, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐬𝐞 - 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐡.

                                     can't you see that i'm busy .

                                        — 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

                                        english - speaker, 21+.

                                   high - activity & high - muse.

TRIGGER WARNING: nsfw & violence; blood will be present.

SABU IS SHIPPED WITH MIEKO @tsunoii.

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄.

✞ ( FULL NAME ) - saburai ito. ✞ ( NICKNAME ) - sabu. ✞ ( AGE ) - 18 - 43 ( verse dependent ). ✞ ( SPECIES ) - human. ✞ ( GENDER ) - cis-male. ✞ ( BIRTHDAY ) - october 13th. ✞ ( OCCUPATION ) - yakuza heir.

✞ ( HAIR ) - deep, crimson red - dyed, spikey & longer on the top, short on the sides mohawk. REF. ✞ ( EYES ) - golden - brown. ✞ ( HEIGHT ) - 6'6". ✞ ( OTHER ) - full body yakuza - style tattoos, lion - themed. including the back of his neck, down the knuckles, ankles and all else. multiple ear piercings, gauges on the lobes. three jacob’s ladder piercings. severe facial wound, ripped from the lip to the top of his jaw on the right side, will only keep uncovered around people who he trusts. otherwise, covered with a face - mask, or a bandana - depending on the day.

raised from birth in a family of yakuza, sabu is considered a yakuza prince. he has no real want the lead the group that he was born into, despite having all the rights to its assets. prefers to be a silent leader, rather than an up - lifting, present one. very off - putting to those who talk to him. not apt to give away personal information, he holds the rights to all of the riches his family passed off to him. will only give his name as SABU .

early life, high - school.

in youth, sabu was less of a quiet, level - headed person. filled with lots of rage towards his family, especially his father for the way he was raised; constantly thrown into ever - growing dangerous situations. as the second - oldest son in the family, he held little worth in their eyes, lacking the potential to become the next head of their family business. being tossed into underground fighting rings, learning to fight for himself at a young age - his anger was constant. lashing out in different ways, whether it was wreaking havoc on the maids or picking pointless fights at school. he acquired a love for all things violence - filled, horror movies, rock music, degrading pornographic imagery - occult paraphernalia.

when he was nineteen, his face injury occurred - the product of an illegal underground fight; where his opponent used his teeth to rip the skin from sabu’s face. tearing on the right side, from the top of his jawline to the chin, ripping half the lip. the worst pain that he had ever felt in his entire life. with a family that did not believe heavily in the support of doctors or hospitals, he was left to at home remedies, with little care from his parents if he lived or died. relying on heavy pain - killers & incredibly painful methods to ensure that it scarred up enough to keep from infecting.

soon after his facial injury, he became reliant on the painkillers - taking them more often than he didn’t; mellowing out his personality a great deal. a relief to anyone that had to withstand him working at his parent’s mansion.

the death of his older brother became the conspiracy that had many thinking of him as a monster. convinced that he would kill his own sibling to solidify his place as the heir to the family business, giving him all of the rights to the family fortune. the truth behind his brother’s murder remains a mystery, and he refuses to say a word on it; his younger sister taking the side of believing that he had a hand in it, but he remains apathetic.

present.

after many years, sabu still retains his favored gothic aesthetic; considered to be quite extra about it. his home is decorated in blacks & reds; his two favorite colors. most of his business remains a mystery to those who are not involved - only keeping few close acquaintances.

his only real close friend is a single right - hand man, with a child who he quite openly treats as a niece. estranged from his own family, the yakuza that he maintains is closer to a family than his true blood to him; not that he openly admits to such.

at forty - three, he no longer possesses the same aggressive personality that he once had. becoming someone a lot more cold & calculating over the years; be - fitting of a leader

[johnnyraine]

Top Shows I Watched in 2023 (not of)

SPOILERS!

7. Loki (Season 2) - 6.5/10

I don't have much to say about Loki other than I loved the final episode, Natalie Holt deserves some kind of award for her music and it makes me cry.

6. One Piece (Live Action) - 6.5/10

As everyone has already said, this should not have worked. I didn't have much faith in it, but I chose to watch it anyway. And I'm glad I did.

Though there were moments of stiff acting and/or line delivery, I still like it overall.

Though I still liked Roger's anime death more than here.

5. My Beautiful Man/Utsukushii kare (Season 2) - 7/10

I don't remember much considering I watched this months ago. But I do recall wanting and waiting for this for a WHILE. I was not disappointed and Utsukushii Kare stands as my favorite BL series. Minato's Laundromat would've been on the list, but it failed me, Utsukushii Kare hasn't. So yeah.

4. Jack O' Frost (2023) - 6/10

I have issues with the whole "an MC has amnesia" plot and considering this has happened 3 times in the same year is crazy to me.

But do recall I Fucking LOVE the music! OOOOHHHH, Shit! I love it. As soon as "Winter Days" started playing during episode 2 or 3, I immediately started looking for the soundtrack.

I also have yet another celebrity crush in Kyoya Honda.

3. Taira no Kiyomori - 8/10

This is unfair given the fact I started this last year and left for a month, making me finish this in January or February. But I still finished in 2023, so it counts!

As per my previous review, I was fucking bored with the first 6 to 9 episodes. After them, however, I loved this show. I love the music, I love the characters, and I like some of the comedy. There are so many great moments that I absolutely love.

Despite knowing how it ended, historically, I was still upset at the characters' deaths.

2. More Than Words (2022) - 6/10

I heard this was a Japanese BL, my favorite type of BL, and I guess. But as others have said, it's mostly about the relationship between Makio and Mieko. Though perhaps not for the second part of the story...

Anyway, I loved this show. It fucked me up, but I did stay up all night till 12 or 1 am to finish it, and I couldn't stop thinking about it for a month. So yeah, despite the score, I am putting it up here.

1. Kamakura dono no 13 nin/13 Lords of the Shogun - 7/10

HERE COMES THE MAIN MAN HIMSELF, KŌKI MITANI!

The main man himself, the man who wrote my favorite Taiga Drama, SANADA MARU! No wonder I was fucking addicted to this show. For first time in A WHILE I watched and finished this entire show in a week.

I was drawn into this show by the fucking neck. I just was.

I remember seeing You Oizumi as Minamoto no Yoritomo and thinking, "Nah." I couldn't get behind him, I simply didn't see it at first. Then he died and literally episodes later, I was missing this man.

All my favorite characters died. ALL! And since I don't know much about the Heian nor Kamakura period, I was taken out. Fucking Kazusa, dead; Minamoto no Yoshinaka, I knew this was so it's my fault, but dead; fucking Wada Yoshimori, I fucking loved him, and I didn't know it! DEAD!

They killed my pathetic twink, Minamoto no Sanetomo. And he was gay! FUCK! I was heavily upset.

And the fact that it ends with Yoshitoko's death via his sister not giving him his medicine and watching him die! Gods dammmmmnnn!

Kōki Mitani you heavenly fucker! Ah!

I also love the music, one of my favorites Taiga drama themes.

Now, that wasn't all I watched, but simply all I felt should be on the list. I refuse to put ten shows up here if I don't care enough for them.

Here's to another year.

[night-dark-woods]

2023 Book Recap!

i really figured out this year what i like and don't like in a book i think, at least for scifi/fantasy books.

that ursula le guin quote about genre: "Ignoring all this, our novice is just about to reinvent the wheel, the space ship, the space alien, and the mad scientist, with cries of innocent wonder. The cries will not be echoed by the readers. Readers familiar with that genre have met the space ship, the alien, and the mad scientist before. They know more about them than the writer does."

& something one of the boys on the stephen king podcast said, where he described being familiar with a genre or medium as seeing the seams, and then a bit later as being like an erector set, where you can see all the pieces.

and that's really it, like bc i have read so much scifi and fantasy, every novel is an erector set. i know what the pieces of the kit are, and what they're supposed to build, so i can recognize when its built well and when its built poorly, and i can recognize when someone does something really cool and different with those kit pieces. but if someone doesnt do anything good or interesting with them, its just a pile of pieces, and that's not enough for me.

so, in descending rating order, books i read this year:

5/5:

The Broken Earth Trilogy by N K Jemison: spectacularly original worldbuilding, heartwrenching story, delightful narrative devices. getting added to the favorites shelf with Baru.

The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin: very fun hard scifi book. if i don't have to google a math concept while reading your scifi book im not interested. i have not yet read the sequels but will.

Machineries of Empire Trilogy by Yoon Ha Lee: great military space opera with REALLY cool novel worldbuilding (the technology of the empire functions because of a high calendar maintained by ritual sacrifice!!!) and very neatly executed plots.

4/5:

How The Light Gets In by Louise Penney: perfectly enjoyable mystery novel i read to bond with my mother. old ladies who saw it sitting next to my register at work were at first delighted i was reading it and then aghast that i was reading one from the middle of the series out of order.

Dead Silence by S A Barnes: fast-paced scifi psychological horror, delivered exactly what i was expecting.

Mistakes Were Made by Meryl Wilsner: doctor mechanic fic with the serial numbers scrubbed. also exactly what it says on the tin.

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M Danforth: fun gay story that jumps around in time and has several cool narrative styles including whatever it is where there are in-universe texts included with the story narrative.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling: scifi cave-diving survival horror with a homoerotic relationship between the caver and her handler. loses a star for an underwhelming ending but overall it ruled i love survival books.

Blindsight by Peter Watts: this book made me the maddest a book has made me since i read The Word for World is Forest in high school and got so upset at one of the characters that i made myself nauseous. on the one hand the worldbuilding was very intricate and interesting and its a truly fascinating first contact story, and on the other hand i want to fight the author in a parking lot for how eco-fascist and misanthropic the thesis statement is. this book pissed me off but its also going to be something i will reread and also think about for a long time, and for that it can get a 4.

3/5:

The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon: cool far-future post-apocalypse with ai gods, about bodily horror and autonomy when youre dealing with high tech divine possession. good book but not for me.

This Is How You Lose The Time War by Max Gladstone and Amal El-Mohtar: fine, underwhelming. novel equivalent of a montage and the prose didn't wow me.

Acceptance by Jeff Vandermeer: made me realize what i want from him is an actual ecology book i would love that but i hate his fiction.

The Cartographers by Peng Shepherd: would have been higher if it had a stronger conclusion, fun concept though and it was fun to see the ways it referenced Hill House. speaking of:

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson: alright, i havent read enough horror to know what i like but this wasn't it, im glad i read it though.

2/5:

Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang: fine, none of the story concepts were compelling to me so it was hard to like any of them, though the Tower of Babylon was fun.

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers: no stakes, boring, no thought put into the politics of the setting or the plot.

Authority by Jeff Vandermeer: absolute fucking slog of a book with a boring protag.

She Who Became The Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan: i dont like historical figures rewritten to be lgbt, i think the pacing and tone was inconsistent, and if youre going to write a book about a military campaign you need to actually care about writing military engagments and logistics. also as my friend Jake said. for a novel trying to do something with gender, there sure arent very many women.

1/5:

none apparently!

[artandpunishment]

listennnn i know haruki murakami is not a great guy. the interview he had with mieko kawakami did not help is undermining women streak (which he has practiced in 99% of his written works). but god damn does he have a vision and sticks to it!!

to be completely honest, killing commendatore was a much better approach to creativity than 1Q84. 1Q84 is definitely one of his more disgusting works. at least in killing commendatore there was no actual sex with a minor and any explicit discussions of doing so. yes, there was a dubious dream pregnancy, but at least it was more ominous and didn't sideline and be little the only female protagonist in the novel.

novelist as a vocation was an amazing insight into writing. finally, a book about writing by an author that didn't read as gimmicky or fucking pretentious. the essays were comprehensive and well structured. and his words, don't write unless you can no longer fight the urge to is incredible. i read the book a year ago, maybe slightly more than that, and i have written a solid amount. i am much more confident and secure with my writing as well. days of stagnancy will pass. i will bite my tongue, beat my thighs, and begrudgingly sit and begin to type. and now I am writing this with admiration and surprise.

i have become so overwhelmed with enamor and awe at this surge of thoughts splaying out. it is suffocating and motivating.

[saburaito]

care, sender takes care of receiver when they're sick.

HE DOESN'T OFTEN SHOW WHEN HE IS SICK, disliking the idea of having to show his symptoms of being human. not being able to move from his bed is something that he finds to be more of a hassle than anything else. he has work to be done, he can't put it aside because of illness. work never rests, and neither can he. despite being in his bed, he still has an array of papers scattered around him. sitting up as much as he can to look at them. MIEKO DOESN'T SEEM TO TAKE 'NO' FOR AN ANSWER, she wants to show that she cares for him. he finds it demeaning more than anything else, but he can't appear that he is rude. feeling the need to be accepting of her help. though, he would much rather hide himself away & be alone while he is sick. the last thing that he wants is for someone to witness it. hiding is so much more difficult when the person in question lives with him. she caught on from the moment that his patterns changed; because SABU is a creature of habit. the moment that he is not out of bed like usual, she knew that he was feeling unwell.

looking up from his paperwork when she enters the room, in her hands: a hot drink. it's TEA. for his throat, and to soothe his stomach. he reaches out with both hands to take it, bringing it up to his lips. he tilts his head cautiously, not wanting to spill it all over his bed in the process of drinking it. he can only take cautious little sips. ❝ thank you, mieko. ❞ his voice is raspier than usual, struggling out the words with his throat agitated. pulling away a pile of papers, he makes some room for her on the bed, in case that she wants to stay. it is the closest thing to an invitation that she wil receive from him.

[winter-cheshire-writings]

Echoes and Experiments : Chapter 14

Mieko stood over her uncle with a deadly look in her eyes. “If you continue to force the issue in front of me, Uncle, I can guarantee that I will absolutely not hold back.” she stated. “You are NOT the head of the family, and therefore you are in no position to ‘force’ any marriage contracts.” She added, tilting her head to the side. Klee and the other children had been taken outside by Traveler well before this started. “And how dare you insult me by saying I'm no longer the first daughter. My parents never disowned me.” She added, Amane sitting on the side, eyes wide in surprise. “Another thing. Stop grasping at straws. Calx owes you nothing.” she added. 

“Mie, dear, calm.” her aunt said, pouring tea for her niece and the others. “He's been drinking. It was a slip of the tongue.”

“Are you condoning him trying to force all 3 of your daughters to marry? And his attempt at swindling my darling out of mora?” Mieko asked, the woman looking up at her. 

“No. But you're clearly upset.”

“Azusa is 16, Aunt Saku. Emiko is only 13. Amane may be 24, but she's also busy working. Are you saying a woman's worth is only in the worth of the husband she marries? And are you saying that we owe you anything?” She asked, tilting her head. “Because if you are, you're just as bad.”

“Now, now.” The woman chuckled. “Calm down before you ruin your kimono. Your partner bought it for you.” She said, Mieko stopping instantly. 

“I honestly don't mind if she does ruin it, but I find it highly inappropriate for a child not much older than my own sister to be propositioned for marriage.” Albedo stated, Ayato smiling at the answer. 

“Agreed. Ayaka is only 19, but I would never force her to marry.” he added, causing the house patriarch to freeze. “Do watch your words, Akazawa-san. You might offend our very special guest.” he chuckled. 

“M-My apologies, Kamisato-sama.”

“Very good. Mie. I think you should go.”

“Gladly.” She said, offering her hand to Albedo before heading for the door with Ayato. Albedo had never seen Mieko get so upset before, but he supposed she had good reason. He walked out with her, telling Traveler to get Klee back safely before walking with Mieko in the opposite direction of the place they were staying, to allow her to calm down. Finally, when her anger settled after they had walked for a while, he turned her to face him. “Forgive me, Albedo… I didn't mean to-”

“It's alright.” he kissed her cheek. “I agreed with you fully, a child of 13 should never have to start accepting proposals of marriage candidacy.” he stated. “Your Aunt just wanted to keep the peace.”

“Still…” she leaned her forehead against his. “I snapped at Uncle… I caused a fuss infront of Ayato…” she sighed. “What's wrong with me?”

“You're irritable from your insomnia and your exhaustion is causing your temper to have a short fuse.” he said honestly. “But you notice… It's only in the heat of the moment that you have trouble controlling it.” he kissed her cheeks more, lifting her face with one hand. “It's alright.”

“It's not…” she replied, letting him move in and kiss her lips slowly, leaning into him. “I'm a mess…”

“You're beautiful, even if you think you're a mess.” he smiled, cradling her cheek. “Once I'm done with work, let's go on a date around the festival, okay?” he smiled. “I want you to try and rest in the mean time.”

“I… I'll try, for you…” she replied, Albedo nuzzling her and allowing her to relax. She really was falling apart in his hands, but all he could do was comfort her. The potions and remedies only did so much. He hoped a date and lots of affection might mitigate the issue, but he also knew she was burning out. There was only so much he could do for her there. 

“Once we go back on the way to Mondstadt, would you like to do me a favor?”

“A favor?”

“Let me work on a business plan with you, for Echoes.” He stated. “I want to help, even if you won't accept my financing.”

“Albedo…” She stared at him, biting her lip. “You… Would do that for me?”

“Of course I would.” He smiled. “And if it fails, then you don't have to shoulder the burden alone.”

“You spoil me.” She smiled, tears flooding her eyes. “Ah, look at this, I’m such a crybaby…” she closed her eyes, laughing a little.

“You're fine, Mie.” Albedo leaned in and kissed the tears away. “Everything will be okay.”

-

After the whole fiasco of the missing books, Mieko was better rested. Thankfully her family had left her alone the entire time, she assumed Ayato gave an order, considering he had come by to see her twice. She thought, at one point, she had seen her parents while outside with Albedo as he worked. However, she hid behind his canvas, and he didn't say anything. She had also been experiencing dizzy spells when she moved too fast, but she hoped that was just the exhaustion catching up with her. She got herself ready in the outfit Albedo had purchased for her, sighing as she did her best to replicate Albedo's hairstyle, a little embarrassed by the thought. He had taken to, while they were here, doing her hair for her in the morning. So she hoped this would be a nice surprise for him. She took a deep breath, checking herself in the mirror. She had put on the nice set of lingerie underneath this, since she knew Albedo would appreciate it, even if he hadn't been doing much to her because Klee was around. Albedo was waiting, so she took her pouch and headed to meet him outside. When she arrived, he was talking to someone from the publishing house, so she waited for a moment. The publishing house worker noticed her and smiled, motioning to Mieko and had Albedo turn around to see her.  His eyes went wide and he walked right to her, taking her hand and lifting it to his lips. “My Mie… You look stunning.”

“Do I?” She smiled. “I'm glad you think so…” she held his hand after he squeezed it, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “I'm looking forward to spending time with you properly.” 

“Oh… I look forward to it as well.” He replied, staring at her for a moment, in mild awe. She seemed more confident, like how he wished she could feel all the time. But the feeling she was giving off also made his heart race so intensely that his legs felt weak for a moment. Albedo lead her down to the festival area, but once there Mieko took the lead. They enjoyed the night together, soon coming across a little booth. 

“Care to tie your string of fate tonight, young ones?” An elderly woman asked, smiling at them. 

“Oh? String of fate?” Mieko asked, smiling. “Now there's something I haven't heard since I was young.”

“Oh? What is it?” Albedo asked. 

“The red string of fate is one that ties you to your destined, your soul mate.” The old woman smiled at them. “You two look like good candidates.”

“Do we?” Albedo chuckled. “I do recall hearing about this during one of my previous trips, however… The version I heard was more… Intimate.”

“Ah, so you have heard the version the younguns started telling more recently in their novels.” The old woman chuckled. “A very superficial version.”

“Yes, I recall.” Albedo smiled, Mieko tilting her head at him. “I think I would like to try anyway.”

“Very good. Your hands, dearies.” The woman said, tying their hands with a special know together, Mieko smiling. “If you two can manage to not break the string until morning, then you two will be bound together until death do you part.” The elderly woman said, smiling. Albedo handed her some Mora and Mieko bowed to her before they went off, walking hand in hand. 

“I didn't think people did this anymore.” Mieko said, cheeks pink but a smile still on her face. “Most people see the red string as just a fairy tale.”

“It's a very interesting story. The original was a little more harsh, but…” Albedo squeezed her hand as they headed back to their lodgings. “I think… We should try the more… Superficial version for ourselves.” He chuckled, pulling Mieko against one of the walls outside of the building and holding her against him. “You really are stunning in that outfit…”

“Oh… But my dear, wait till you see…” she chuckled, leaning against him and pressing their hips together, Albedo's cheeks coloring at the sudden show of initiative from his partner. “What I'm wearing underneath.”

“Oh?” Albedo smiled. “Then let's go.” He lead her inside and right to their room, pinning her to the wall upon entering the bedroom. “Mie…”

“Yes, Albedo?”

“You're beautiful.” He said, holding her hand tight before kissing her, helping her slowly out of her outfit with one hand. Albedo felt her tangling her fingers in his hair, gladly leaning further into their kiss while undressing her. 

-

The next morning, Mieko was still asleep when Albedo awoke, the ashy blonde smiling as he noticed a few marks he had left on her. “Sorry, Mie… I didn't realize how badly I wanted you.” He said, petting her head with one hand. He glanced down at their hands, which were still tied with the red string, his heart feeling lighter than air again. “Ah… It stayed intact.” he smiled, playing with her hair as she slept, admiring her sleeping face. “Does that mean you're mine, forever?” he asked. “Or at least until death comes for one of us?”

“Albedo…?”

“Yes, Mie?”

“Nnn, you're up early.” she rubbed her eyes, blushing as she realized they were still tied together. “Oh…? It's still tied…”

“It's not a bad thing, is it?”

“No, not at all.” She smiled at him. “It's… Nice…”

“You don't sound too pleased.” he clung to her hand a little. “Are you still tired? You should try and get more sleep.”

“I'll try.” They took their time getting up, finally undoing the string and packing it away to take home with them. Albedo made sure they took their time, and tied up her hair once she got dressed. They spent the morning with Klee, then handed her off to be watched over by traveler at their insistence after lunch. 

“You two need to spend more time alone.” Traveler said simply, giving them a sly smile. “Go have fun. Go on a walk or something, away from all the crowds, since there’s no Dragonspine for you two to go escaping to.” They took the opportunity after thanking Traveler and telling Klee they would be back, walking hand in hand towards the main island of Inazuma. They chatted about small things, mostly enjoying one another’s company and the chance to have some quiet time alone. They stopped a few times on their walk to take in the view and sketch, or just to sit with one another. 

“We should get something for Traveler, to thank them.” Mieko said as they began getting closer to the city.

“Yes, we should. Perhaps we'll find something in Inazuma city?” He lead her on the path over to the City, but along the way they encountered a situation. A group of ronin were bothering an elderly couple, but not just any couple. They both had some traits that made Albedo stare a bit. The woman had purple eyes, and though her hair was blackish-blue, it was strangely familiar. And the elderly man, though his hair was greying, had a familiar gradient to his hair and a disposition of protectiveness that Albedo recognized even at this distance. “Are those perhaps…?”

“My parents.” Mieko said as she began walking over, drawing out her weapon. “Don't interfere, Albedo.”

“Whatever you say, darling.” He smiled, watching her walk right up behind one of the ronin, slamming her weapon into the back of his knees. When they turned to confront her, she slashed at them and took them all down quicker than Albedo had ever seen her go after any other enemy. 

“Mie?” The woman asked, Mieko taking a deep breath before turning to look at them with a small smile. 

“Hello, Mother. Father.”

“You were here. I assumed you would be, if your favorite artist was here.” Her mother smiled kindly, reminding Albedo of his darling when she was happy. Her father's face was stern, and he could see where Mieko got her usual expression from. He walked over, clapping. 

“A stunning job, Mie. I don't think I've ever seen you fight so well.” He smiled. “6 ronin all at once is quite a feat.”

“Please, it wasn't…”

“Oh? Isn't this Calx, Mie?” Her mother pointed out, chatting with Albedo a bit as Mieko stood on the side. 

“What took you so long to come home?” Her father asked.

“Why were you out here with mother with no escorts?” She retorted. “You aren't young anymore… Stop trying to show off.” She added, her father not replying to her. Albedo noticed and moved to take Mieko's hand, making her cheeks burn. 

“I think we should tell them properly, don't you?” he smiled, Mieko staring at him, biting her lip. He turned to her parents and explained that they were dating, giving them his name rather than his alias and thanking them for allowing her to stay in Mondstadt after everything that she had gone through. “If she hadn't stayed, I wouldn't have met her.” He smiled. 

“Oh, no need to thank us for that.” Mieko's mother chuckled. “Mie would have run away if we had tried to bring her home. She loves Mondstadt.” They talked while walking towards Ritou, Mieko hanging back and keeping an eye out on the surroundings. She was tuning out most of the talk, just chiming in when addressed by Albedo or her mother. But when they arrived, they said something to Albedo that made Mieko freeze in place. 

“Please take care of our daughter.” 

“Of course.” Albedo smiled, waving them off. Mieko just stood stunned until they walked away. “Something wrong, darling?”

“Ugh…” Mieko held her face in her hands. “I can't believe them…”

“What's wrong?”

“That's essentially them asking you to take care of me for the rest of our lives…”

“And?”

“Meaning they want us to get married.”

“Oh?” Albedo took her hand. “Does that trouble you?”

“It does… I can't burden you like that.” she shook her head. Albedo just held her hand and let her grumble to herself. “What are they thinking?”

“Perhaps… They're just worrying about you in a way that doesn't impede your personal goals?”

“Is… That what it seemed like to you, Albedo?”

“I cannot say for certain. But it is clear that your mother, at least, just wants you to be happy and write to her more.” He smiled. “You weren't paying attention during the conversation, shall I fill you in over some dessert? Or are you not hungry?”

“I… I'll eat if you do.”

[darkwithasharpenededge]

A Disappointed Review of Star Wars: Visions: Ronin by Emma Mieko Candon

Rating: 47/100

Summary: I really hesitated to review this book at first, especially because I didn't like it. I've read some of the Goodread reviews, which are negative for a variety of unfair reasons (most notably the use of they/them pronouns for a character, which I didn't find to be nearly as confusing as some people sure thought it was), and I hesitated to add another criticism to the pile, but I did set a goal of reviewing (almost) everything I read in 2024, and so this book too must receive a review.

This Book Was Poorly Served By Being A Licensed Star Wars Novel

My main takeaway is that the author would have been better off with an original fantasy setting of her own. One of my main issues with the book was that it seems to alter the way the Force works in Star Wars, but then it never explains those alterations to the reader at any point during the story. An entirely original setting that forced the author to actually explain her magic system probably would have served the story better than trying to twist Star Wars' existing (and extremely well known by anyone curious enough to pick up a tie-in novel) magic into something more original.

I was interested in the alternate concept and view of the Jedi and Sith, but these organizations seemed like Jedi and Sith in name only. I might even go as far as to accuse the author of having played too much KOTOR and letting it warp her perception of both organizations, and that's coming from a die-hard "KOTOR is the best Star Wars story ever told" girl who's veryyyyyy Jedi-critical. I could have liked this book. I wanted to like this book. But it just didn't feel like Star Wars to me, for reasons unrelated to its exploration of an alternative timeline.

The Ending: The ending lowkey sucked. I didn't see it coming at ALL, and it was the kind of thing I really would have preferred to see coming. I like to feel smart, let me figure it all out at least a few pages before the characters do haha. Not that there was anything to figure out, because the ending actually didn't make much sense. I found myself very unfulfilled. I suppose the whole story was like that, that wasn't just a problem with the ending.

Characters: None of the characters are really truly gripping. Star Wars fiction works best with a strong core cast, people I can root for (or not root for) and none of these characters are really it. Even the (various) betrayals didn't get a reaction from me, since I truly did not care that much about any of the characters.

Final Verdict: I feel bad about this, especially because I'm about to give a probably worse book a higher rating, but the only reason I even finished this book was because it was my last read of the year and I wanted just one more to improve my 2024 stats.

Review Word Count: 506

[reviewsthatburn]

THE ARCHIVE UNDYING by Emma Mieko Candon hits my brain like an achillean version of THE TIGER FLU by Larissa Lai or THE ALL-CONSUMING WORLD by Cassandra Khaw, combining viscera and technology to create liminal immortality in an ongoing negotiation, tenuous and vital. 

I love stories with worldbuilding that is immersive, not waiting for the reader to catch up, but just letting the story unfold; only explaining things that someone in the world would need stated, more explicitly. THE ARCHIVE UNDYING provides explanations late, intertwined with regret. 

Full review at link

[alightinthelantern]

Tried reading Heaven by Mieko Kawakami. America has no shortage of stories from the 1980s and ‘90s about bullies dunking boys’ heads in toilets and forcing them to eat disgusting things and beating the shit out of them, but that’s not what bullying looks like in real life, and I have no patience for this kind of gross exaggeration to make main characters pitiable and therefore sympathetic. The author’s story is no more realistic than these lazy American 1980s films, and the fact that the main character’s bully is a gorgeous straight-A star athlete who’s the most popular guy in school is even more unrealistic. If his bully is so popular that everyone hangs on his every word then how come no one but his cronies are ever around whenever the main character is getting bullied, which is day in, day out? How is it the bullies never leave a mark despite kicking him as hard as possible? It’s lazy writing. I don’t recommend the book, it sucks.

[fizzingwizard]

Also stopped in on an English book sale at Kinokuniya.

It was fun, but I struggled to find something to buy. Modern trends in literature treat any sentence longer than eight words as purple prose. I'm so sick and tired of writing that just states and never conveys. Let me feel something! Let writing be artistic.

I feel like so many modern writers rely on first person POV to do all the emotional heavy lifting. There are many very good books in first person that I love. But I think some writers who use it don't know why they're using it: they just know it's trendy. There's more to first person than just writing "I" a lot.

And I don't need to be slammed in the face with flowery emptiness, but I do hate the current popularity of the minimalist approach. It can be useful when the purpose is to create distance between readers and characters, or reflect the characters' apathy for life. But I swear it's just everywhere now. I read a book jacket and it's some version of "After losing her job, Sarah is forced to move back home to quiet Nowheresville, Washington, but her world turns upside down when upon arrival she's accused of murder." And then I start reading and can't care about Sarah at all. Midway through she could disappear from the text and I wouldn't even miss her. Too bland to remember. A murder can't make a character interesting. Only the text can do that.

Speaking of murder. The other reason I struggled to find a book was because everything was about a murder! Or a war, especially a fantasy war. Even books that weren't thrillers had some deadly "thrill" involved. I love action stories and thrillers, and most stories need a plot, but my gosh, can no one think of anything else to write about it? Once again it seems like a go-to "This will hook the audience!" but it fails to hook me. Every hero is jaded, every heroine is strong, every dead person is more interesting dead than alive, and all are forgettable to me.

So what I ended up buying was Heaven by Kawakami Mieko. And the reason I bought it was because I opened it and instantly felt I could relate to the characters. Their emotions hit me on the page without melodrama. I know your capacity for that is a matter of taste, trend, and culture. It's not like there's a true right and wrong in terms of how much emotion is too much (or too little). And while it might be tempting to say it's because "women's writing is emotional,and men's writing is about action," it's clearly not true. No one can read Goethe or Kafka - let's not even get started with poets - and come to that conclusion. If anything, it's about trends in men's writing, which are no more than trends. It's incredibly silly to say women's writing is bad because it doesn't follow the trend in men's, especially since when things trend the other way, we'll get some variation of "men have more emotional depth than women who are just hysterical." Seriously, there is nothing you can do as a woman to "win" through the lens of patriarchy. Don't even bother.

I've just begun the book, so I can't say for sure what I'll think of Kawakami in the end. Obviously, this book is translated, but a good translation reflects both the skill of the translator and the artistry of the writer. I also found this article in the New York Times about Kawakami, and there were a few bits I wanted to share.

I'm a fan of Murakami Haruki. He's popular for a reason, and it's nice that that reason isn't that he writes bland, toneless stories. There's so much individuality and voice and deep characterization in his books. But he does get critiqued for his one-note female characters. According to the Times article, Murakami praised Kawakami's work, and Kawakami is a fan of Murakami's. They had this interaction:

This sort of thing is the exact point where men and women find they can't understand each other. For so many straight male writers, a women is sexuality, because that's what women meant to them growing up as men and what effect such a comment from a woman could have. And women are left to wonder what these female characters do when there isn't a man around to make strange sexually-charged comments at, because they don't seem to have any other traits. A woman in men's writing is often more symbolic than she is human. It's not inherently wrong. Anything can be a symbol. But it is noticeable (to women anyway) when a writer uses female characters over and over in the same way without also offering women characters who clearly exist as themselves even when men aren't around.

When you read a romance novel, written by straight women for straight women, you'll probably find something not too dissimilar: a male lead who is more a symbol of the female protagonist's desire, both in a romantic/sexual sense and also in a practical one: if he isn't able to offer her emotional support at first, he learns how to. He fills the gap. He's something of a fantasy more than a human, and he may have interests outside of his lover... but he'll certainly pick her first.

But that's romance novels. They tell you right off the bat that they are a fantasy. They aren't pretending to be deep, raw, philosophical studies on society and the human condition. Novels which aspire to something so lofty should have a higher standard for how they depict their characters, regardless of gender or any other supposedly distinctive descriptors attached to them. You can have your symbolic Sexy Woman, fine, but only if you're clear that that's what you're doing and have other robust female characters who aren't the literary equivalent of the statue of Venus de milo.

The article goes on to say that Kawakami wanted to distance herself from the label of "feminist writer," and to do that she created a male protagonist. It's hard to miss the parallel: Murakami writes male protagonists and leaves symbolism to the females, while Kawakami writes female protagonists and generally avoids male ones. It's only natural that a man would write mainly from the point of view of a man: it reflects his life and growth. And equally, it's only natural that a woman would write about her life and growth as a woman. Neither Murakami nor Kawakami are at fault there. The difference is that Murakami's works don't get labeled "the male perspective" - instead they're held to be intriguing and enlightening to anyone. While Kawakami's works have been called "the female perspective," interesting only to feminists, and garner comments from men such as this beauty:

I think it's important for women world-wide, regardless of where you live or your culture or your privilege, to know that there are men like Ishihara. And that they may be politicians capable of legislating against you. Many men are wonderful and as able to admire a talented female writer as they are to write captivating, reflective novels themselves. We can love them while also being wary of the ones like Ishihara, the ones who throughout history have wielded sexuality, pregnancy, and motherhood as tools to keep our perspectives anything but mainstream.

Many a timeless male writers has written with love and eloquence for humans. Women writers, even when they write exclusively about women, are just the same.

Finally, a slightly unrelated quote, but one that made me smile:

like my goodness, isn't this the point of art? To have Breaking Bad as well as "Breaking Bad but not a macho drama." What's art if you can't break it into pieces and put it together again and have it come out completely different? Th experience of gender isn't immaterial, but is no more than an experience. Not a wall. Why do people limit themselves in what they read (or admire) because someone's "experience" isn't the same as their own? I still remember the revelation to me that was a la mode. Always loved pie, so I thought, what does it need ice cream for? One bite opened up a whole new world. Whenever I hear of people like Ishihara, I figure they must hate pie a la mode.

[saburaito]

𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒, she would have never gotten him to admit to being jealous over a mere story from her day. mieko talked about the cashier in high esteem, just like she would have any one else who helped her out. the fear that she felt in public over the most minor of situations was not shared. SABU didn't fear having to approach someone who was simply doing their job. he lacked the ability to get so frightened over minor social situations. his voice didn't often shake, nor did it crack. he spoke at one baritone level, and he never tended to raise it when he got angry. that was one of his most frightening qualities, his ability to maintain a calm head when he was pissed off at someone. listening to her adoration for the man who had helped her during the day, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. having wished that he didn't have such a busy day. if that was the case, he could have been the one that was there for her, instead of some random cashier at a store. they were programmed to be polite to any one that entered the door, but for some reason, the impression that it left on her had him feeling some type of way about it. squeezing his stomach tightly, making him feel nauseous as he read her texts.

she must have picked up on it, from whatever change of tone - or simple lack of ability to answer as quickly, because she had felt the need to apologize for her wording. he had already denied that he was jealous about it. though his words might have been more defensive than they were anything else, he was doing his best to seem as if he was content with her speaking on for longer than she needed to about a random boy that influenced her day. SABU never liked when she could catch onto his emotions, even if it was through text. he tried to keep everything as emotionless as he possibly could, even if it came off as rude when talking about her day. fumbling over his texts back, he knew he had been caught here. don't be dumb, i'm fine. it was a busy day is all, i'm tired. he stops for a moment and considers the rest of his reply, knowing that he is simply making up excuses here. keep telling me about how your day was, i was listening. his day was truthfully far from over, it was only about five p.m. at the moment, which meant that he had plenty more to deal with, depending on how competent that his men felt like being for the night. if things went off without a hitch, he wouldn't have to do anything, just a bit of paperwork. if they decided to make errors left & right, calling their boss for the solution, he would have a night full of talking on the phone, sorting out the details.

❛ you think i’m jealous? ❜

𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒? 𝐇𝐈𝐌? the idea of it seemed so silly to her, she shouldn't have dared even bring it up. mieko loved to tell him about her day, that was nothing new between the two of them. it was every day, whether he asked or not, he got an in-depth story about how her day went - only today, it might have been more annoying to him than anything else. the long rant about the nice man at the store who had helped her went on for a little bit longer than she had meant, though it was really because she was glad. in public, doing things on her own, mieko always tended to be a little bit overly anxious. he had gotten long talks from her before about being happy over a particularly talkative cashier - but his tone had changed some when she was texting him now. it was always hard to tell with sabu, considering how bland he always was over text. at first, it was impossible to tell when he was mad at her & when he wasn't, when he had never been mad at her before. now, something just seemed off.

maybe her accusation that he was jealous was a little bit extreme, but she hadn't expected him to react so strongly. shooting the question back at her over giving her just a simple no - that was how she was all too aware she was correct. no matter how stupid it felt to assume he may have been jealous, it really seemed like it. when mieko was always so quick to respond to him, the amount of time she was taking now only proved he had intimidated her with his answer, but it wasn't even really that. any time he showed emotion through the way he usually acted - it was so shocking to her. she saw it as him being vulnerable with her. if she reacted the wrong way, he was going to pull away from her & she would never get to see this part of him again. getting emotional over her - even if now, it seemed a little scary... it was a good thing. what she wanted. i'm sorry, finally comes her response to him, likely the exact one that he expected from her. she was always quick to apologize, especially when it came to him. i must have been mistaken, you just seemed upset. how was your day? did something happen?

[whilereadingandwalking]

Breasts and Eggs by Mieko Kawakami, translated by Sam Bett and David Boyd, is a vivid, honest look at contemporary womanhood. It centers on Natsuko, a young woman whose sister Makiko and niece Midoriko are visiting her in Tokyo. The two are in the midst of a fierce mother-daughter battle, and Natsuko is caught between them. In the second part of the novel, we jump forward to see Natsuko as a writer, coping with adult friendships, and quietly thinking about motherhood. 

Single women cannot adopt or use fertilization methods to become pregnant in Japan. And yet Natsuko's life is saturated with strong single mothers, all doing their best to provide their daughter with a good life. It's an honest text, that investigates whether we can actually judge a child's life by their potential parents or parent. Is it a given that a couple will provide a better life for a child than one parent? Does a child have a right to know if the people who raised them aren't their biological parents? 

Natsuko, interestingly, seems to be asexual (she could also, with some imagination, be read as queer). She is averse to sex with men. It makes her desire to be a mother even more complicated, and she talks about the other difficulties—of other people not understanding, of her desire for a romantic but not sexual relationship. It was a compelling addition in a book that dwells quite a bit on bodily autonomy and how we inhabit our bodies as women, from Midoroko's terror at the idea of getting her period, to the dizzy dreams Natsuko has while drunk, to Makiko considering breast implants. 

It's the small touches and connections of the book, Natsuko's tendency to let words wash over her, and her struggle with her past and her future, that make this novel so well done. The themes of sisterhood, motherhood, and female friendship were explored by a cast of real-feeling, vivid characters. Kawakami's writing had me completely hooked—I couldn't put this one down. 

Content warnings for mentions and/or discussion of domestic abuse, sexual assault, child abuse, pedophilia, suicide, cancer, and substance abuse, as well as for transphobia (misgendering) and depiction of sexual harassment.

[questionableholidayreally]

everyone shut the fuck up everyone holy shit everyone shut up

hmmm just some kids nothing to see here

(yes there is Go ahead and click on the image ;D )

@questionableholidayreally

[saburaito]

you're the first person who ever took me seriously.

𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃, knowing that he was the first who ever listened to her about her past relationship. her own father was blind to the torment that her daughter was going through, blinded by the fact that she had a fiancé. sabu is not so easily wooed by the promise of a relationship, and he could tell when something wasn't right. he never regretted giving mieko his phone number the day that they had met each other again, listening to all of her complaints about her supposed fiancé. if she needed someone to rely on, there was no one better than himself. he considered himself a man that got things done. if someone needed to be abolished, he was fully capable of making that happen. the treatment that she had received from him was below sub par. it was downright abusive, and he had listened to every bit of it. while, he may not have been the type of man who was capable of determining whether someone was a bad person or not; he could decide if they were hurting someone that was close to him. an enemy of his friend was an enemy of himself. as the yakuza believed.

❝ you don't believe that if you had been truthful to your father, he would have listened? he's a decent man, ❞ having met him a few times by now, he had his own ideals of what kind of man that her father was. the kind who had taken care of his daughter, and expected care in return. he wanted to see her with a man that had the means to provide for their entire family. not to say that he didn't care about his daughter; but he might have cared more about what his daughter could bring to their family. ❝ don't think too much on it. ❞ the last thing that he wanted was for her to consider her family to be someone negative to her. she hardly had anyone left; which meant that she had to make do with what she had. ❝ family will get you through everything. ❞ his own definition of family was warped. not those that he was related to, but those that answered to his words. the ones who worshipped him, hung on his every command. the ones who did what he asked of them. sabu had no real concept of family.