#more paintings bc this is how i cope with living

[neurodiversequeer]

"False Righteousness" acrylic painting by yours truly

(also thank you to @eldrytchcryptid for giving me the advice to take pictures in natural light, it helps so much)

[oh-god-a-four]

okay so 30yo virgin helena eagan.

she was raised in a fundamentalist religion-adjacent cult. we know this but like… that can fuck you up. that kind of thinking paints actions and people as good or evil with absolutely no nuance, and you’re taught to accept that what you’re told is the way things are. and if you engage with anything evil to any extent, you are deeply shamed and over time that builds and it lives in you for YEARS. so you get to whatever age and learn about sex and you’re told it’s only for procreation with a spouse, otherwise it’s a sin. PLEASURE is a sin. and you keep hearing that repeated throughout your key developmental years until it’s burned into your brain. it IS an escapable mindset if someone is pushed to question it, but I highly doubt helena eagan, the heir to the eagan throne and likely attending some kind of eagan boarding school for girls, was questioning it. and the guilt and shame and the repenting that comes with that is awful. the break room torture the innies do? that to me is essentially reciting the rosary or some other long catholic prayer cycle that says nothing of substance but succeeds in making you feel like shit. and you avoid those feelings by avoiding the sins at all costs and repressing the hell out of any desires. and helena is SO repressed. the way she watches the security footage of helly kissing mark outside the elevator screams repression to me bc she’s suddenly feeling this spark of desire and jealousy (also a sin) and she doesn’t know how to cope.

also. her total lack of bodily autonomy that I know we’ve discussed a million different ways. well this is another one of them! and I could argue that helena finding some rando to fuck would be a good way to take back her bodily autonomy but again, I dunno if miss ceo-to-be ever had that mindset. I don’t know if she even knew she was CAPABLE of that mindset until she saw helly try to take control of her body over and over via self-harm. also the fundamentalist idea that you need to “save yourself” for a future spouse as if you belong to someone who might not even exist. or another way I was taught to view it: you have to save yourself for god. and helena has to save herself for kier. AND. if helena hooked up with someone and got pregnant? then her body becomes a vessel for yet another eagan that will be just as controlled as she is.

in short: helena eagan I’m sorry you had to take over your innie’s body just to get your rocks off but I get why you did it ig

my credentials: raised catholic (in a weird way), now live and work in an even more catholic town, spent 11 of the last 13 years in therapy (largely to do with how catholicism fucked me up), love to project

[wordy-little-witch]

Dropping random One Piece ideas bc this is it now. This is how I cope.

Buggy focused bc I love this little blue haired buffoon

Buggy

• AuDHD

• BPD

• gender is a performance and he LOVES THE SPOTLIGHT BABYYYY

• Buggy is actually a year or so younger than Shanks, and they both use this as an insult point for arguments. Buggy calls him old man, Shanks calls him a teeny tiny little clown baby, Buggy punches Shanks, Shanks cries dramatically, the works.

• in my perception between them, their relationship could go either way - I love the interpretation of them seeing one another as brothers, I love the interpretation of them being lovers, I think either one fits them and it's precious and depending on the Shuggy flavor of the day. It's never both at the same time though. One or the other.

• Buggy has always been terrifyingly flexible. It was waved off when he was very little, but it was only around the time Crocus joined the crew that he noticed Buggy was much more flexible than most kids his age. Turns out baby blue has hypermobility syndrome. The Roger pirates helped him learn wrapping techniques to help stabilize his wrists and knees and hips, his biggest problem areas, but after the Devil Fruit Fiasco, he can and will just drop a limb. Floating is so much easier on bad pain days.

• Buggy still wraps and braces his body when he can, but he also hides most of them beneath his clothes. Few have seen him freely in braces. Cabaji and Mohji are the most familiar with that. Ritchie takes his role thereof as a living, furry weighted heating pad.

• kinesthetic and visual stimming Buggy my beloved.

• sometimes he's just. Touch Alvida. Not in a weird way, just... her Devil Fruit makes her skin and hair feel absolutely DIVINE and he can spend hours just. Playing with her fingers or brushing her hair. He's embarrassed by it.

• he has a very meticulous skin and hair care routine. It's one of very few routines he keeps to. Not even being in prison stopped it.

• he's actually really damn good with money and running a business. The situation with the Cross Guild was a Bad Time, Bad Place, Bad Luck situation, which is honestly just his brand at this point.

• He was a warlord for all of a few months, but in that time, he did, in fact, have to attend a few meetings, and he did, in fact, make a friend! A friend nobody ever expected.

• Boa Hancock and Buggy are the most underrated Mean Girls Squad ever and I'll die on that hill, I think they'd be so funny as friends. Ask me more on my Boa Buggy Besties ideas please I am begging I love them so much

• Cross Guild happens, and it goes fairly similar to Canon, but Buggy quite literally within that three week time frame got the entirety of his loan back AND the interest and was like "hey so like. Did you still want this or-?"

• the mercenaries at Karai Bari are all very progressive. Buggy is a lax ruler, by most standards, but he puts his foot down firmly regarding bigotry, racism, sexism, etc.

• Buggy is not actually human, but he doesn't know that. He was orphaned at a VERY early age, was adopted by Roger pretty young, and he doesn't really remember much pre-piracy. He does know his genetics are a little weird, #ThanksCrocus, but not much beyond that. This may be Important later on if anyone wants some silly little concepts

• demisexual nblm, but once he catches feelings, he becomes a harlot harlequin

• once took off a limb and forgot where he left it. Has genuinely devoted microchipping his limbs.

• some people have comfort activities like hiking or painting. He makes bombs. It's very soothing and he likes the BOOM

• has a multitude of explosives btw; everything from large range, highly damaging, lethal weapons, to flashy, mildly inconveniences. He once made a batch of mini muggy balls full of itching powder just to see if he could and now it's his favorite thing to prank people with. ((Yes, he designed those while a Warlord. Yes, he tested it on the Navy. No, he was never definitively caught.))

• when he's busy, he ties his hair in a bun and puts pens, pins, etc in his hair, ends up looking like a porcupine or sea urchin.

• he has a really bad habit of hyperfixating for hours upon hours on end. Galdino, Alvida, Mohji and Cabaji have a rotation system to check on him if he hasn't been seen for 5 or more hours. They'll drag him away from his work (some more gently than others), make him eat, drink, etc. ((Alvida huffs and puffs about it, but she's also among the first ones to wipe a grease smear from his face, look him over head to toe and determine whether she's pulling the Girls Night card. She will die before admitting that she adores this bastard.))

• Buggy is allergic to pineapples.

That's all I got rn okay ily byyyeeee

[spaceboyden]

ask box is open 👀 time for you to tell me more about artist Nicole headcanons

LETS GOO ok

She’s a charcoal girly bc color theory pisses her off. She knows it but she prefers to play with shadows

Nicole has painted on the walls of every single house/ apartment she’s lived in, no matter how many times her mom yells at her about it. Even if she doesn’t unpack her bags, she’s painting on that wall

She’s one of those people who draws on her converse. Also chronic “I’m gonna draw on my hands in class” syndrome

She designs all of her tattoos because she doesn’t trust anyone else to execute her vision

More of a Nicole’s dad hc but it’s art related. Even though she didn’t talk to him often, he sent her a mixed media art kit every birthday and she thought it was stupid but she’d use everything inside

I have so many, her using art and music to cope is so real to me

[heartmatic]

core of andre and rovers relationship........... v important to me (LONG rambling under cut! ig sorta explanation of their initial beginning relationship)

hi. whats the core of them. what actually brings them together.. take a while guess from my millions of post abt it

asian-american immigrant* trauma 😁 its not ever so defining for them as a couple, esp andre (i think hes generally moved** past it, as much as you can when youre main coping mechanism is That). Anyway, i think its what originally brings them together

*quick note. sterotypical asian-american immigrant life. you probably know. the whole: parents moved here for a better life for You, high expectations and wants for you to grow up and be successful. if you dont its like youre personally failing them for all theve done. youve seen jokes abt it all, yada yada. its not how everyone whos an asian immigrant is, its a sterotype after all. but its still how a lot of them do...... me included, i hc andre to aswell based on the info from the show. its canon in my heart. religion also plays a part but we'll get to that maybe ("i was raised by hardcore christians", kinda wanting to be a screenwriter- moreso that whole scene and him panicking abt what hes become. failing out of med school, you get the idea. ive talked abt that sooooooooooo much...)

Rover is a clone in canon.. i did this for a multitude of reasons but rlly quickly you can kinda imagine its for that whole- feeling like a diff person bc of the highhhh specific expectation life that is forced upon you. its a biggg part of his character. he still struggles with the whole "living your life for other people" bit

true androver fans know abt their initial reactions towards eachother. Rovers kinda uptight mean manager when he meets everyone (reagan 2.0 ig?), andre dislikes him for this. Andre is. Andre. rover at first is always work-oriented so hes kinda pissy that andre feels like some slacker who doesnt deserve his job. > just realized this is kinda a timeline of their relationship too..... at least the start, not everything is set in stone tho but this is what i generally think of for this era.

eventually... idk.. at some cognito (chirstmas?) party... atp brett is still trying to get rover to open up to everyone (theyre buds* already). he eventually convinces him to come under the guise that Rand is gonna be there, since Rover is wanted to drop of transfer papers to a new management job (hes Done!!! with the gangs messiness). Brett. Didnt Not lie, he could never do that butttt welllll rands not there, omission of the fact. rovers kinda Wth, but its all part of bretts master friendship plan. cause now Rovers here, its a party, why not get a drink n all? he gets too many drinks. kinda just sits down at a wall in some darkish not populated area to chill out. Andre, well doesnt care much abt what everyones doing buttt hes a party-er n all, he practices normal morals lmao so sees rover kinda fucked up and goes to check up on him. WAIT pull out the fake wiki didnt i write this there

ok sure. less info but quick summary! idk if im keeping the whole friends with benefits thing but it can paint a better picture of their dynamic. full wiki if youre curious, not fully up to date and weird writing but hurray rover character! anyway. andre goes up to check on him. theyre kinda annoyed at seeing andre but whatever theyre too idc. in fact rovers a very curious "needs to know everything" person, so in his drunk mind goes and asks andre a bunch of personal stupid question "how do you do it? be so stupidkly carefree and idiotic" ok. chill. yada yada they actually have a heart to heart..... i mean andres kinda high or whatever too but its a weird pivot for them. andres not totalllyy asnwering his questions, still enough to have a connection, but hes more concenvered abt rovers current physical being so just makes sure hes ok first. Maybe brings him somewhere else like to his lab n whatnot, not 100% sure

Those first impressions? Andre realizes well first- he's right, rover is stuck up; but he's also wrong and understands more so Why hes like that... it intrigues him. (like how he tried to get glenn to do mushrooms LOL, its a similar vain of hmmmm you were like me. let me try something for that) Rover also realizes (a little before cognito christmas too) that andre Isnt dumb.. or some full slacker.. he respects that he actually knows his job, and gets Rlly Rlly interested in him in general. esp after learning he had a similar childhood- that first question he asked was genuine. "how do you do it....?"

ok. idk where im goign with this LMAO IM SORRY core of how they got more interested in eachother..... its a whole thing. the biggest effect is that Understanding tho... that yea. i lived that life... no one else takes it rlly srsly- or no one else cares- or no one else WHATEVER. but they do with eachother yk.. Andre kinda helps rover deal with his whole . thing. Rover hates it all, he still struggles with it so internally but through andre and kinda everyone else he learns to eventually get past it. Rover helps Andre deal lesser so with this all, like i said hes Kinda over it; but he offers to andre to be that person to actually take him seriously.. to actually listen to whatever the fuck he has to say and see him past as jsut some druggie.... someone who sticks by him no matter what (hes loyal to a fault lol)

anyway. whatever. theyre not even perfect bc after party b4 theyre srs they have this whole attachment problem arc LMAO rover helps him out with all that too... hashtag uhhh mutual helpings. that transfer form to move departments n whatnot does come back btw.... he files it after their fucked up talk

ok. sorry i wrote that all so bad but i hope you got the idea. important context of their whole dynamic and relationship? now you get pieces like this lol I HATE ANDROVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wolfex126]

Max from Sam and Max for the character ask meme

Max for this ask meme!

I'm gonna be so honest I got DEEP in the paint here and I'm writing this after having finished answering everything - and. Yuh this need a cut LMFAO so the answers are under the read more! Ain't wanna clog your page without warning - and my most sincere of apologies in advance for yappin as much as I did but. What can I say. Special interest fun.

I have to thank you regardless for having me think about these, because this was super enjoyable!! Plus I find any opportunity to pour my heart out really cathartic ☁️🩷

How I feel about this character

LOVE im. Love im to bits it's quite incredible actually LMAO. As with both parts of that pair they're stronger characters put together, but I think Max has way more nuanced personality as an individual than people tend to think about him!! In Sam's bio in the original Save the World, it states they've known each other all their lives and "speak a common language" - and I think that fact, about specifically Max, goes to show he's more detailed than it appears :] More than their hijinks and playful taunting, they do speak a common language: and it's supporting the other how they need case-by-case 🥺

I don't know, I always appreciated how Max was a deeper character than was outwardly demonstrated most of the time. At the end of TDPH, the moment where Max is recalling what happened in his timeline with nonchalant humor in the face of pretty horrific circumstances (whether used to cope or not), but then sees Sam visibly disconcerted, and Max immediately changes how he approaches the conversation with more tact, is beautifully subtle in showing Max is capable and willing to be gentler with Sam when their usual joking doesn't work.

Maybe it was or was not intentional, and I'm reading way too much into it, but long story short Max is a wonderfully comedic, yet nuanced character, and even as more of a Sam fan (by a mere margin, mind you), I would be remiss to deny that the pair are interwoven pretty inseparably - and Max being any other way wouldn't make their dynamic work nearly as perfectly. Good rabbity thing character 10/10

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Sammy Hound Dog is my only ship for him 🐶🐰I couldn't imagine those two being with anybody else. "In every life, I will find you," type beat y'know?

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Does Flint Paper count LMAO? I think they'd be rather close (whenever they have free time between cases really JWBFKSN) and I'd imagine Max still has a bit of an idol thing going on even post Night of the Living Dead :]

Maybe a cheating answer but truthfully my gut answer was Sybil!! She's the pair's bestie imo so sure maybe obvious person to say but all the same I think she and Max could be a hell of a lot closer than it appears (⁠´⁠∩⁠｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡⁠∩⁠`⁠) I think she'd be a deeply trusted confidant, and he thinks to go to her first concerning things he couldn't ask Sam about/for - not that that'd be. Very much. Considering the little to no filter he's got But for dates or to surprise Sam with something and he knows he's gonna need help with it she's his first thought. Though I'm sure the end of TDPH probably went to show how much deeper Max cared for Sybil than what showed on the surface 🥹🩷

My unpopular opinion about this character

PG opinion? Now I am The Number One, Uno, Un, Ein, Énas, Yek crossdressing fan wholly and truly I've never known myself without that passion But I would probably say as far as the content I see, I'm way surprised that Max is the most chosen of the two to do so!! Immediate disclaimer bc one will always be Grateful to be fed and the work is always SUPER delightful regardless but just from what I hear in dialogue and have seen in the cartoon I was always under the impression Sam was more willing and even eager to crossdress, while Max was pretty hesitant and/or did not do so very often :0 At the end of the day this is a huge nothing-offense but it's more something I found interesting in the fandom! Clothes aren't gendered just in case I have to say that but I'm quite fond of the term and the history so it's just how I call it :]

Adult opinion? Max prefers to top and Sam prefers Max tops too. Sure they'll switch off on occasion but I think after that dog does all the work and talkin all day there's a dynamic shift (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)👍🏼 That's all I've got for now I would further elaborate with great love but being that I'm not sure how you feel about this sort of thing I'll leave it out of courtesy!! But it was an honest gut answer I had so I didn't want to leave it from my rambling

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

That he gives Sam a big ol kiss right on that snout of his and then rehashes that line about his warmth being alarming

If I can't answer that then I'm also cool with a peek into their actual bedroom!! I was always under the impression they lived right in the office, but I've also seen iterations from other fans of them having a house or an apartment!! Regardless of depiction, I think having a concrete bedroom visual for them would be super interesting (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠) Though it is fun as fans to be able to speculate and show off our own ideas, so it isn't upsetting or anything of that sort - just something I think could realistically be done!

Sincerely I don't have any specific wishes for Max specifically - I think he was handled very well in all the media he's in, and anything that wasn't directly shown or written is very easily remediable with fanon and community ideas!! I don't find anything wrong with the stories serving their purpose as is, and the people being left to interpret and add onto what exists 🩷

Though, if I can give a more dramatic answer to this, however unrealistic, then I'd say I wouldn't at all hate a musical motif for him (or all the main characters really!!) I understand that hardcore story-telling is not really a Sam and Max special, but if I can be self-indulgent and shamelessly passionate about music, then I'll say especially for a game like TDPH something during more emotional or intense moments including character musical motifs in the background a la God of War reboot style would make things a hell of a lot more impactful.

Like Max's motif could be something lively, something typically with drums and violin or harp, or even flute, and changes depending on the progression of the story - during his initial power sequence, it's powerful and upbeat and smooth; during his beast transformation, it's chaotic and defeaning and gritty; during Sam's departure from the lab after finding out they couldn't bring Max back, it's quiet and drawn out and almost sounds like a lullaby before Sam takes to the streets and the motif stops playing to transition into Sam's sole motif, which would be equally quiet and solemn, to imply Max being left behind and Sam left alone. Maybe Sam and Max while they're together also have a motif that's both of their individual ones combined - and when it matters most, their motifs can be separate like when Noir Sam happens or when Max is trapped in the ship.

There's a lot of potential in music being powerful for this series, and while I think the sound direction is good as is (I mean, "That Rainy Neon Glow" is a pretty damn good Noir Sam track), I think a little extra care to make motifs to consciously and subconsciously recognize themes would be tremendous. I mean shit maybe they're gonna do that for the upcoming remaster and I'll be taken aback but I'm more of the belief that this is something only in a wistful dream ☁️🩷

[bilbotargaryen]

Get to know your mutuals!

Thank you for tagging me @abby118!! And yes I am catching up on tags rn I hope you don't mind. xD Love to be tagged!!

What's the origin of your blog title? It's a bit of a crack title. I just asked myself how could Bilbo Baggins survive Smaug if he's not secretly a Targaryen and here we are xD

OTP(s) + Shipname: I have so fucking many, oh dear. My absolute OTP appears to be Hvigon (Hvitserk from Vikings and Aegon from House of the Dragon) which is one I try to contain on a separate blog xD Then I have a lot connected to my MCU AU (which will soon also be featured on a separate blog xD) so I'll keep it short and to the Main Ones: Starlight (Peter Quill x Balder (OC)), Deaniel (Dean Winchester x Daniel Turner (OC)), Catlokion (Caterína (OC) x Loki x Astarion). I have other ships too but I don't think I can call them OTPs :/

Favourite colour: I always thought I couldn't decide myself on one but then I started painting with watercolours and I really love yellow...so...yellow!

Favourite game: Red Dead Redemption 2. ARTHUR. I love this game so much and I cannot wait to play it a third time all the way through (and get my heart broken once more)

Song stuck in your head: First of, prev, Check is soooo good ugh but currently I keep coming back to Hot To Go by Chappell Roan <3

Weirdest habit/trait? I love to listen to music on my headphones and dance in the dark while daydreaming. I need that like I need air to live.

Hobbies: Writing, Reading, Drawing, Playing Video Games, Listening to music and Dancing, Going for walks, and a few that are on break atm xD

If you work, what's your profession? I have a completed job education so I technically could work in a pharmacy, however, a 40hrs/week job made me so ill that I don't know how I'll ever work again :( Currently I am studying Scandinavian and English studies.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically? Honestly? I wish I could just exist because that is a lot to do at times. But realistically I wish I could be a writer. Doesn't matter if books or for shows/films.

Something you're good at: I am really good at planning things, sticking to that plan however...

Something you're bad at: Socialising (I'll keep that prev), anything society related honestly

Something you love: Writing

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: My fandoms (<- again I am stealing that hehe), animals

Something you hate: the current political situation in Germany, but in a lot of places actually

Something you collect: I also used to collect a lot, but rn the only thing I collect is illne- sry I cope with humor. I think I am kinda collecting the magazine my Tolkien club is bringing out every couple of months. (Honorary Hvigon fanart mention xD I sure do collect that)

Something you forget: Ages, Birthdays, anything that is not on the forefront of my mind honestly

What's your love language? I know that the love language model is deeply flawed and one needs all love languages to thrive. I'd say I value Quality Time most.

Favourite movie/show: I am really bad at picking favourites but if I had to pick one I could watch over and over again it's Captain America - The Winter Soldier. Love that film. And I think my favourite show gotta be Vikings bc I am unhealthily attached to that piece of media (It really is kinda bad but the vibe and the potential is everything to me)

Favourite food: Cauliflower Tikka Masala (Had it today. Still love it.)

Favourite animal: Orca <3

What were you like as a child? I cannot remember too much from my childhood but I hear I was quite a happy and open child bc most things went over my head lol I was concentrating on my favourite things a lot

Favourite subject at school? Oh that switched. First I liked biology best, then chemistry (and I chose that as my major which was dumb bc the teacher sucked) and because I hated said major I started to love English (also because I was good at it xD), I also liked art but not the projects that were forced on us

Least favourite subject: Geography. Because I was unreasonable bad at it. I quit it in the 10th class (which was the first possible time to do that xD) Otherwise I have some other strong contenders for that category but lets be real it was Geography.

What's your best character trait? I don't know. I don't feel like I can be the judge of that. You tell me <3

What's your worst character trait? I think for that one I can say it's my impatience. It messes with my life most.

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? I would like to have a male body. (Does this count as a detail?)

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? No one honestly. I don't think I could handle that kind of conversation.

No pressure tags:

@errruvande @lord-aldhelm @juanasunfall-blog @holy3cake @kingslionheart @paula-in-dreamland @supervillainarchaeologist

[fruitytrollroll]

Hello! I’ve been advised to ask you about how you would plan to write the sequel “yet i do fear thy nature.” How would you say you would go about it? - void

omg hiii hello :) @mouseyblue-ao3 and i looove collaborating on writing (see our robo scarab collection including our latest scorbo rp, our spades slick/bec noir fic, etc)! i've had the privilege of beta-ing for them several times, and they've been kind enough to make several unofficial sequels listed as "inspired by" some of my work... but I think this is the first time I'm writing a proper sequel for something of theirs?? so i'm SUPER EXCITED!!! 🤩✨

SO!!

My initial thought, when yet i do fear thy nature was still in the planning stages, was that I could have Orbo let Scarab stay at his home as a kind of witness protection situation, with Orbo somehow getting permission from the Boss to have his home taken "off-the-grid", so to speak--that way it would be unable to be monitored from the Time Room, and Scarab didn't have to worry about Prismo spying on him all the time after escaping his clutches. 🥺

Then, Orbo could give Scarab his own room, while telling Scarab he could "do whatever he wanted" to Orbo as revenge... resulting in some pretty spicy reclamation of agency on Scarab's part with Orbo as his willing victim~ 😊💞

But in that situation, I had imagined Orbo only as Scarab's rescuer with a long-time crush on him... So when mousey finally wrote it out, and they made Orbo not only haplessly complicit in Scarab's rape, but a fellow perpetrator, that added some interesting complications...! Most crucially, it hadn't occurred to me that Orbo might have a mancrush on Prismo--but not only did mousey make a compelling argument for that being the underpinning motivation behind Orbo saying "Prismo? Nah, that guy's cool. He wouldn't do that! <:)" they went and made it a PIVOTAL ELEMENT OF ORBO'S SUSCEPTIBILITY TO PEER PRESSURE IN THE ORIGINAL WORK!

so I'm just sitting here thinking, like... okay... I can't NOT address the Prismo thing, right...?!??!

So maybe Orbo has always been crushing on Scarab AND Prismo (this heightens the tragedy of Orbo believing he was getting everything he wanted from Prismo's deceit in yet i do fear thy nature 🥲)... Let's say his crush on Prismo was absolutely obsessive. I'm talking fanboy levels of maladaptive, parasocial admiration. MAYBE Orbo asked for his home to be taken off the grid a long time ago, citing reasons of "privacy"... I mean, it's one thing for Prismo to be a cosmic voyeur of all mortalkind in every dimension, but it's another thing to have to go to work with a guy who might have been watching you sleep or shower or masturbate while calling his name, right? Nothing unusual with Orbo wanting to keep his work and home lives separate!

But maybe with the added security of knowing his home is truly beyond Prismo's sight, he was able to feel more comfortable indulging that crush with somethingl ike, a room full of custom Prismo merchandise... painted the same sunshine yellow as the Time Room, Prismo area rug, Prismo body pillow, Prismo-themed bedspread. Obviously after rescuing Scarab he has to toss it all... But maybe Scarab catches him in the act and demands to know what he's doing with all this garbage. Orbo is mortified, bites his lip and scuffs his heel on the carpet, but he swears he's trashing it... Never meet your heroes, haha...! But y'know. Maybe Scarab snatches the gigantic Prismo plush/body pillow and takes it back to his room and locks the door... Orbo feels a little culpable for handing over such a patently maladaptive coping mechanism, but well... if anyone needs a safe stand-in for Prismo to cope with his unwilling desire and lingering trauma, it's Scarab, right? 🥺

So basically it's Orbo and Scarab living in the most fraught domestic bliss known to man (I love crippling Orbo with guilt 😇), while Orbo tries to respect Scarab's boundaries (and fails half the time bc he wants him so bad), while Scarab copes with his NEWLY ACTIVATED LIBIDO and having PRECIOUS FEW OUTLETS (he doesn't even know how to masturbate 😭) (but then, Orbo is right there...)

so like the highlight of all this and the part that's living in my brain rent free rn is the thought of Orbo knocking on Scarab's door and telling him to come down for dinner or sth, and when Scarab doesn't answer he opens the door and sees him riding the giant Prismo plush... 😵‍💫 but Scarab is so frustrated... poor thing doesn't know what he's DOING... Scarab gasps in scandalized humiliation and Orbo flushes and hastily apologizes and slams the door shut. and then thinks. well. Scrabby didn't lock the door, did he...?

so Orbo comes BACK INSIDE and gets astride that giant prismo plush behind Scarab and gently guides his hips to show him how it's done 😵‍💫 😵‍💫 😵‍💫 hi im unwell!!!

anyway that's the plan--a few more awkward scenes like that as they orbit around each other, grow closer, orbo taking such good care of scarab... 🥺 then wrap it all up with the most disgustingly sweet domestic bliss you've ever seen in your LIFE after they get over all their hang-ups, live happily ever after, the end!! :)

[hamiltonconfessions-but-better]

confession time here’s what I got:

really long yap sesh sorry

Ten things, one thing has more weight (for the duel itself) but the world was wide enough is better narrative-wise, which is why i’m glad it is the one that lin went for! but im afraid ten things, one thing is extremely slept on, that song is so good

burr’s verse is practically the same except some small bits, and then the addition of hamilton’s perspective with the reverse is incredibly creative i adore it so much (maybe if we cope hard enough its a callback to angelica’s rewind in satisfied idk)

Hamilton’s number 3 and 4 are just so good idk, he recognizes here, he needs to slow down, he needs to throw away his shot, it really shows how much act 2 has changed him especially reynold’s pamphlet and it’s quiet uptown, he finally understands burr philosophy somewhat unlike his clear mocking of it during the start of the room where it happens, but its kinda ironic since when hamilton finally gets a grasp of burr, burr drops this mentality of waiting for it

anyways hamilton’s number 4, which parallels burr’s, he is getting first position, while burr believes this is hamilton showing aggression, “like a man on a mission”, while in hamilton’s view draws first position to (in his eyes) save both of their lives by aiming at the sky and shooting first and instead of what burr thinks is hostility, hamilton is at peace, looking over his city

but imo the best part of Ten things, one thing has to be number 8 with the additional hamilton perspective on things, and realizing that hamilton thinks burr is only approaching this politically while burr is actually thinking of his daugther, also at number 8 where hamilton wears his glasses to understand burr better, while burr thinks hamilton puts on his glasses to aim at him better IT MAKES ME SO SICKKK AAAAA

and especially at number three burr says “just apologize, we have worthier pursuits!”, like this all could’ve been avoided, its all a tragic misunderstanding and lack of communication that is so in character for these two characters, like realizing the tragedy unfold from both perspectives

and hamilton’s number 9 “my last thought is of Eliza… …god i can’t wait to see her again” but we as the audience already knows he gets shot bc this is after the rewind which just makes this line hurt even more, also just shows hamilton’s trust in burr too or it also shows confidence in knowing burr’s character (as he has been doing since the room where it happens), even if its sometimes wrong, he fully believes that burr will not shoot, burr is still that man that will not confront, the man who will simply wait for it

and in the end, we are back to the same narrative as the world was wide enough, where hamilton throws away his shot and burr does not wait for it, but the additional story after burr shoots hamilton is what makes the world was wide enough so much more fitting imo, and like it also has one of the hardest lines from burr, “history obliterates every picture it paints, it paints me with all my mistakes”, so, worth ittt

thanks if you read all of this, hope i converted some of you to ten things, one thing enjoyers like me but the world was enough is a top hamilton song for me 💯

.

[chiangyorange]

Are there any lines or scenes in WMAS that you're really proud of that you wanna shed a spotlight on?

this is a hard question bc wmas is smth i like to call an ensamble fic (its literally just pov alternating) so it kiiiinda doesnt narrow ANYTHING down for me in terms of specific scenes.

hm. you know what? lemme show you smth.

(taken from ch 1) Uncle Michelangelo said that the old New York could be really pretty. There were so many lights that made the fog glow a brilliant color that makes everything magical. Quieter, he told Casey that there was always a person behind those lights. Someone was always adding to the beauty.

(taken from ch 2)

He takes his time turning around in place, seeing the tall battered buildings covered in bright colors of paint. Greenery of plants overtake the sides of buildings, framing the bright formless graffiti, the dull grey of concrete to something colorful. It clings to the bricks in a relentless enduring grasp of life. From the windows of the buildings shine lights through them. Multicolored, like they are the LCD screens from Times Square. It’s bright. There are no people, the city is in shambles, but it’s still alive. 

oh yeah the dreamscape is a fucking call back lads. and let me tell you there are more in the fic

(taken from ch 4)

Raph lets out a breath. “That’s going to be hard to find. Some of dad’s old stuff is still in the old lair and we haven’t really… cleared it out the first time.”

(taken from ch 8)

“Is there a reason why Dad and April came back into the lair covered in debris looking upset?”

i keep a lot of details in my brain (dming dnd for my friends trained me whether i liked it or not)

(taken from ch 1)

“Never will the Hamatos continue to live to be sacrificed, not if I have anything to say about it.” Splinter pokes a finger to April’s chest, right above her heart, “I will hold our family close and never let go.”

(taken from ch 3)

Splinter had to think about death a lot recently. Forced to, really. He’s had to think about death a lot in his life in general! It clings to the very fiber of his being in a way where every bad coping mechanism looks just a little too tempting to take up on. Then the Shredder happened, something he thought was complete and utter bullshit that took his mother, seemingly, for no reason. The Hamato legacy he grew up to resent came back to haunt him with a ferocious force, and it hurt his boys. 

(taken from ch 4)

Splinter was so adamant about giving her a second chance after the fight with Shredder. He saw himself in Cassandra in such a personal way that no one else in the family would get. He was willing to let Casey stick around close too. He saw himself in the Joneses that she can never really understand. April doesn’t know the full weight of what it’s like carrying a legacy. She shares that burden with the boys, but to bear it alone like Splinter did, like Casey has been, like Cassandra is doing now?  Fuck, man. How lonely does that feel?

(taken from ch 7)

The hovering and the mother-henning was annoying, sure, he'll give you that. The fact that he had to see how each of his family members grieve over the choice he had to make to save the world? Absolutely hellish, would not recommend. He can see how much it haunts Dad. He can see how much it weighed over his siblings. They all know that it was do or die. It doesn't make the choice any less harder to bear.

something about fucked up legacies, something about generational trauma, something about trying to break a cycle when everything in the world is not letting you

[and a little bonus line for a chapter in the future ;] <3]

[waters-and-the-wilde]

HEY @kyliebyelie I had a weird couplea weeks but I did say I would yell about Nureyev and Vespa some more so *launches enrichment pumpkins*

also OG post thread for anyone who wants context it was just getting a little unwieldy

First off! re: Nureyev still being willing to bet on the hope that Juno would still vouch for him – I’ve also been thinking about how he had to be willing to bet that it wouldn’t backfire on Juno. Like, ‘you have no idea how much I did to keep the Kanagawas off you’. The fact that tying Juno’s name to his own work could have very easily painted a target on him. Even if he couldn’t have known that Buddy and Jet were going to pull a ‘come with me if you want to live’, the fact that he put Juno on their radar suggests that he trusted Buddy to begin with. To not threaten Juno, or to use Juno to threaten Nureyev. Jet talks about how the criminal reputation informs a potential employer that their prospective is reliable, but it also must work in reverse – that a potential boss won’t screw you over.

re: Nureyev being a fan is something I think about A Normal Amount

You’ve absolutely nailed the whole vibe of their communication styles, the chain reaction of politeness/rudeness → perception of emotions and control → measurement of honesty → how that exacerbates the friction, like that is such a good breakdown goddamn.

to add to that since I am constantly frothing like the cappuccino about the concept of 'solid coping mechanisms that backfire in the wrong situations' so for your consideration: one of those pesky little first rules of thieving being 'don’t rise to the bait’. Oh it was intended for Being In Situations with weird rich people or standoffs with other criminals, but when it's his default setting for responding to things, it's just gonna just drive the wedge that much further every time Vespa questions his integrity and he doesn't show where he keeps his Give A Damn. (And it's probably even harder to untangle as a 'no that's for jobs not your personal life' thing when it still has its legitimate applications in his personal life, bc Juno’s own survival reflex MO is ‘how fast can I piss somebody off to find out what I need to know’ and that ability to stay focused and letting him know when that's uncalled for is probably extremely necessary for the both of them)

‘Vespa is terrifying’ – okay so funnily enough! i'd been telling @one-joe-spoopy (pssst hey come look I've got enrichment pumpkins!) about my headcanon of 'ranked order of members of the Carte Blanche crew by how much they scare him and why number one hands down goes to Rita,' which is a whole post in itself but long story short, I think out of everybody he gets the most sense of security around Vespa (though she probably still does terrify him, like, a normal amount and for the exact reasons you described, especially pre/during Man In Glass.)

Basically the concept I’ve been toying with (and I think moreso in a later, probably post-Cyberbots context given some time to settle in) is that her opinion of him is decided and earning her approval under the circumstances is What We Call A Non-Starter. When he's reflexively trying to manage everyone's expectations and invested in their approval, and realizes in no uncertain terms that he can't win Vespa over as long as the name thing is a going concern, the pressure’s off a bit there. Though not in the healthiest of ways, necessarily, if he’s just more comfortable with letting her believe what she wants about him because that’s how he usually deals with people.

And another aspect of this sense of security dovetails with your previous points about how Vespa and Juno are more reactive than performative, how they wear their principles on their sleeves and others recognize them as genuine. I bet Nureyev absolutely knows better than to make the comparison in her earshot, but I can see him just sorta unable to help liking her for the same reasons he’s drawn to Juno – he can brush off a little belligerence from someone whose integrity speaks for itself. Vespa abides by her own codes as well as visibly aligning herself with Buddy’s – she’s pissed about not knowing his name but won’t coerce it out of him even when the requisite leverage is right there – and like you said, she would be insulted by the idea of using underhanded means to get him fired. He knows where he stands and possibly figures that trying too hard to fix it is just going to piss her off further. And it's not like he's gonna stop being dramatic and making his gay little jokes and smooching Juno in the mess hall, he just needs to focus on comporting himself as a reliable crewmember and establishing himself the hard way with time and Buddy's family bonding activities (and yeag he wants to Get A Good Grade In Crewmate which is Normal To Want and Possible To Achieve).

oooh also I’m a little fucked up on the idea of him on bedrest with his broken leg and getting filled in on what he missed during Shadows, realizing that Vespa thinks he’s got it in for her right around the same time he’s having an epiphany that he trusts her to keep him alive and patched up even if she never likes him as a person and that the shapeshifting robot impostors don't stand a chance with her around. like not only is she not the thief she was twenty years ago, she's even tougher and smarter and cooler and doing it all with the brain horrors on top.

ALSO in light of Next Page I now think about ‘hey what if he’s Inherently Suspicious of Medical Personnel due to The Trauma and did he spend a bunch of his broken leg recovery time fretting that she was going to try to wring his name out of him while he was on painkillers only she never does??’ (god there’s this one fic where he and Juno get MacGuffined into kids and she’s like. ‘well shit. yeah I could find it out but goddamn. that’s a line I just can’t cross. Not Looking At It I Do Not See It’)

gah it's just. Nureyev's trust issues are so goddamn multifaceted, like. local baby boy too trusting, gets his only security ripped out from under him, tanks his shot at happiness bc the trauma gave him suspicion, becomes the suavest charlatan in the galaxy so he doesn't get taken advantage of again, craves genuine connection but hasn't actually had a chance in the last two decades to figure out what he's like around other people for any stretch of time, also still literally paying the price for the last time and can hardly bear the thought of confiding in his new connections because there's nowhere truly safe in the galaxy he's terrified of putting a target on them.

But I think about his little 'much more so than usual these days' to Juno's sarcastic 'happy now??' and that maybe he was a lot closer to an honest version of himself on the Carte Blanche. That he was getting places, that he was trusting them with as much as he could. something something 'Peter Ransom' wasn't intended for putting at least half the truth under their noses the whole time but he kinda let it turn into that the moment he let Buddy start calling him Pete.

Handful of miscellaneous thoughts on things they have in common:

- the debts thing. Vespa of all people is the most painfully, intimately aware of what it feels like to have a life that isn't one's own, so the way she approaches Nureyev being in massive scary debt with suspicion made me go huh. so I've been thinking about that one and tbh given how she internalizes shit and doesn't entirely trust herself (and god I have to imagine that she's really messed up about how close she came to killing Buddy in Time Gone By), I think seeing her situation in Nureyev's wouldn't engender sympathy because is that because she also knows exactly what she was prepared to do to get out from under it. and is just expected to tolerate the fact that they're taking their goddamn chances on him. there's this sense of 'even if he cares. even if he thinks this is real. even if he tells himself he wants to be a part of this. who's he gonna be when push comes to shove. probably not even Steel is safe.'

- They are both extremely functional under pressure and in more in their element in full on crisis mode, and are probably spending S3 figuring out what the hell to do now that they have access to things like reliable meals. privacy. affection. (pretty sure Juno is also experiencing a similar kind of 'things... getting better? after being. really bad all the time???' and having a lot of midmorning scuffles about it)

- Also they both have their shitty dads living in their brains rent-free!! and they are never ever going to talk about it but one (1) time Nureyev hears Vespa yell 'shut the hell up old man!' from another room and. sometimes thinks that very hard in her voice when Mag's advice is being unhelpful

re: feral kittens in towels - I want them to get into it that day after Heart of It All where Juno isn't getting out of bed and isn't there to get all protective, and for once she's in a half-decent place brainwise and he's riddled with eight kinds of guilt and half on the edge of a nervous breakdown and having all of his defenses shot is actually a good thing for him because she's not actually going to do anything with the upper hand except cuss him out a little bit. Like 'I was gonna cut your throat without hesitation yesterday and you're all fine and dandy about being in the wedding party? no shut up I'm not saying you can't. it's whatever. Bud thought it would be nice and I'm not against it. I am saying. the fuck is wrong with you.' hurt can sniff out hurt in-fucking-deed. I am dying inside like the fact that Nureyev himself would prevent any closure we might have gotten between him and the Lighthouse Crew after S4 is very him and also it hurts me and I need to pick it all apart with a seam ripper and see what spills out

likewise it’s hard to picture them ever reaching an actual rapport but I can’t even tell you how many times I pictured the prison break with all of them converging before Clean Break aired, where it’s like finally sunk in that he’s on their side and she goes ‘Ransom watch my goddamn back I need to kiss my wife’

also. does anybody want. some fic? I have some job interview/Man In Glass missing scenes where i am gnawing on this at all times

[pineapplerightsideupcake]

maybe kinda random but you give good advice so I wanna hear your thoughts. I feel really lonely due to living in a small town, not being able to make friends in hs bc my toxic parents never let me go anywhere. I have 2 irl friends that I love and appreciate but they work a lot so we rarely text or see each other bc they’re always so busy/tired. I wish I had more friends so I wouldn’t feel so lonely. I’ve tried dating apps, online spaces, etc but nothing worked. And if I made a (online) friend they’ve ghosted me for whatever reasons. I’m trying so hard to stay positive but I really hate my life (being stuck in a toxic household tryna save money in this economy…) not having anyone to have meaningful connections with makes it worse. Idk what to do. These days I’ve been thinking a lot about s*icide even tho I’m a coward and won’t do it. The only thing that makes me feel better is disassociating and pretending like I’m someone else or in a different situation. But I can’t do that forever…. I could go more in depth but I don’t wanna burden you. I’m wondering how can I make friends and actually feel like life’s worth living?

If you’re in your early twenties, I have good news! No part of your life will ever be as hard as it is right now. I’ve been right where you are. Depressed and lonely and suicidal. I felt like there was no escape. But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

My first bit of advice is that nothing external is going to fill the emptiness in you. It’s a wound that needs to heal and self love and fulfillment have to happen before anything else can. And those words look big right now because we don’t do a good job of talking about how to achieve them in little ways. Ways you can start today.

First pick the easiest thing to motivate you to do something regularly. Therapy is a good start, but for me my healing began when I started cleaning my (actually my dads) house. Cleaning was something I kinda liked and it wasn’t scary because I didn’t have to leave the house. I started by just picking a shelf to organize. Then one thing to scrub. Eventually I was proud of my spotless house and wanted to do things like cut fresh flowers for a nice table. I wanted to go to the store and get a fancy snack or a nice candle. I walked my dogs everyday and being in nature was profoundly healing for me. I picked the things I could do even when I was miserable.

Where you can start is the easy places for you. Maybe you’re more like my sister and need to pour that effort into your job. Or maybe you need to build things like my other sister. Maybe you’re close to a grandparent and can schedule a weekly dinner. I have a friend that started writing fanfiction, then her own novel. I have another friend that works on cars. That started with just tinkering with his own.

And none of those things have to be huge on day one. If you paint, just swirl colors or doodle on day one. If you write, write a paragraph. Do a 100 piece puzzle. Listen to music. Cry if you have to. Forgive yourself for the days you can’t do anything. If you’re self medicating with alcohol/weed/cigarettes try and cut back a tiiiiny bit.

But kids from disfunctional families are set up to fail. Children have very little autonomy to begin with and we spend the first 18-21 years of our lives having life be something that happens TO us. This is even worse in dysfunctional families where you have to sort of float with the current just to survive. Then they push us out the door and say “go live” without any instruction. All your skills and coping mechanisms are built around enduring life and not around building one.

And that’s the big secret. You have to build your life but you also get to. Fill it with things you love and enjoys and prune out the things that stress you out.

And lastly, the way to make friends is the same way you ask someone on a date. Luckily unlike a date, most people are JUST AS DESPERATE FOR A FRIEND AS YOU! People have never been lonelier. My secret is I go out, I do activities. I tell friends to invite other friends, then befriend them. If I run into an old childhood playmate, or college pal or old classmate I follow up on those half baked plans to “get coffee sometime”. Family can be included here too. Maybe you have a chill sibling or cousin.

DnD has been great for me. People hear I DM and so many people are like “oh I’ve always wanted to play” so I invite them! A low stakes way to find a new friend is to talk about a really fun thing you’re doing around coworkers/acquaintances and when someone makes this face 🥺 you say “why don’t you join us/me!”

Or do what my autistic best friend did and I quote “find one really loud but nice extrovert and don’t blast their huge social group with your autism until after you’re their party healer” which is a silly way for me to say that making one friend leads to others.

I could go on and on here but this is an essay already. Hope this helps and isn’t just a stream of consciousness.

[ondaspectrum93]

Do you have a diagnosis of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) & love to paint/draw/sketch/collage/sculpt/collect various visually pleasing objects/create online visual media/mixed media/sing/dance/write/participate in any medium of creative expression as a means to communicate as a person with an intellectual disability? WELL I DO & YOU WILL DEFINITELY ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DO FOR I AM LEARNING TO BE PROUD OF THE BEAUTIFUL CREATIONS, CONTENT, PHOTOGRAPHY & THE PROCESS OF REPETITIONS INVOLVED IN MY TRANSFORMATIONS FROM RAW PAPER OR BLANK PIXEL SLATES TO WHICH I AMPLIFY THE BEST SENSATIONS OF COMPLETING THE SELF STARTED AND CHOSEN TASKS TO WHICH I COMPILE AND SHARE WITH MY STRANGERS WHO STUMBLE ACCORDINGLY TO MY TAGS ACROSS MY PAGE. I want to discover other humans, specifically people above the age of 18 who are either intellectually or learning disabled or co-morbid the way I am, at this point in their life, I’d love to hear about their experiences & struggles & random thoughts that pop to mind as shared along with their own thoughts about how they relate to each other’s creations… what circumstances led to this artwork being made & published & what is your name/handle/identity in your own words as the artist? I’m hoping for this page to be a place to make friends, especially even if you don’t create any art or writing or videography for yourself by yourself just yet, but plan on doing so in the first opportunity coming up with something inspiring you to go ahead and bite the bullet & stop letting people/places/things/because/but/fear driven overwhelming thoughts setting fear inside & preventing the accessible pathway from dipping your toes in the water & making a mess of mistakes bc they are so much more important to make than it is to be practiced in perfectionism’s which nobody succeeds at in this universe with or without the idiosyncrasies known to our community! This is a judgemental free space which has been made possible by the low functioning highly sensitive empath named Jacqueline Mae Gutwilik who has been going through worst heartbreak of her life post missed miscarriage12/22 & subsequent trauma caustic to her husband who is afflicted with opioid & crystal meth addiction which is now the scariest thing she is grieving on a daily basis for the past two years now (when she noticed his soul was not compatible with hers any longer for she started slowly catching up to the social cues, anxiety and pressure driven by her partner to make decisions about life that were harmful to her poor health problems in retrospect causing her Wilson Disease to deteriorate & displacing her from her comfort zone/stability by moving back to her childhood abuse/abandonment home & wound up w/o anyone b/c she had been living in an isolated domestic abusive cycle for 7 years before aware of it & her environment is NOT safe STILL to date; No matter how much she is a positive helpful, healthy, supportive to others around her, she cannot seem to make any progress or difference in her own life as per she is broken from her entire life lived trusting in the monsters who took/take advantage of her [as they victim shame her & cry wolf & dictate her life by making false reports to the police against her to try & control her or make her forced into homelessness] so she has no choice but to make her own artwork as she is doing the best she can to cope with the tremor from Wilson Disease symptoms that truly makes her feel unable to tolerate living alone in suffering while being unable to be as productive or professional or socially responsible for her own needs because she has changed exponentially from her trauma & ptsd & day to day problems that she cannot control anyone but herself & do her best to make better choices, which involves creating as much mixed/multi media prompts & writing snippets for sparking ideas for other people to join in & share their projects & play along with me, as well as hopefully find comrades with similar experiences in life through the process of learning w/their ASD diagnosis as transitioning from childhood to adulthood).

[imanes]

Dear Imane, hi! I would like to ask how you stay afloat in times of stress? I was invited to be a part of a research team in (redacted) late last year and we’ll be here until October this year. What started out as a dream job is now… well… the stakes are higher, there is little to no room for errors bc things can’t be easily fixed as we go further into the project. I am also stationed with two other nationalities we have nothing much in common but it’s my only form of socialisation for now bc we are located in (redacted) where only planes come like twice a week for supplies. Now I know all I have to do is hang on til October and I’m not a girl who breaks easy, but this is taking YEARS off my life. Constantly worrying about something going wrong and not so much other forms of recreation bc of where we are situated. Girl HELP 😫

hi angel! first off i'm so sorry you're experiencing so much stress at the moment :( this sounds like a really extreme situation like complete isolation for months at a time... i have a lot of admiration for your strength!!

i can't tell you what i do to relieve stress in my normal life bc the difference of context is too wide but if i were in your shoes i'd definitely rely on alternate modes of communication, i.e., talk to friends and family and just people in general online. like it might seem out of pocket but to channel some of that stress i feel like i'd try to learn chess in order to set my mind on something completely different and rather consuming brain-power wise (the learning of a new skill) and play online with other beginners. it doesn't have to be chess it can be digital painting, writing, ... something that makes sense to you and that takes your mind off of how much pressure you are under due to the nature of your project. i don't know how stable or sporadic your access to internet is but make the most of it as a communication tool!

there are also live reading sprints on youtube all the time, like you can read a book collectively (not the book itself but the time spent) and then have 15 min breaks to talk to one another in the chat. when I'm under a lot of stress and i don't have the intellectual capacity to actually read a story i usually turn to mangas and webtoons. check out what's popular on mangadex and give it a try! the perfect distraction for brain-fried people

another thing i'd do is HIIT training or something intense like that (basically not yoga) like whatever i have bad knees but i need the post-workout boost of endorphins MORE

and honestly when it gets stressful you can treat my inbox as your brain dump! i won't publish the messages if you don't want an answer but if you need to talk shit about your coworkers and detail the ways in which you're losing years of your life know that I'll read your messages and that basically there's another person who cares on the other side of the line

you got this!! do check in regardless of whether or not you actually want to talk to me ajdlfg I'm invested in your continuous well-being now. and sorry for the lousy answers honestly i wouldn't know how to cope under your circumstances either so props to you

[bisluthq]

Smoked a joint with husband after a really good faith analysis of taycaptalism he sent moi and we both got to the bottom of joever. 3 hours discussing joever and we were both pulling up sociology books 😭😭😭

But like ok, (i poisoned the man and now he thinks joe is a bebe that cant do mistakes but w/e) they both did whatever people do when the relationship turns shit and you want out ofc, but put all that aside, this is the closest thing to civilian megxit.

royal famz like their miney too much to be happy just throwing dinners, shaking hands and getting gifts. They're there to be the perfect nuclear fam (with that one pedo uncle) and the more they speak, the more unpleasant and "off with their heads" the people get.

civilians bilionaires are different though. Taylor has no problem yielding her power in her industry (and good bc she changed some real stupid shit), but the girl was dry heaving to daddy over coming out as a Democrat. I love that woman but I could not marry into that.

Like, they were mostly living with a veneer of normalcy because fame aside, she's still outrageously rich and the only way to cope with that is through disassociation. If they married or whatever, I can't imagine opening any news paper and not dying inside a little for not doing anything? No wonder he was dragging his feet the second the rerecording project started lol girlie doesn't like saying how much she has on the bank after that for a REEEEASON - she knows how it comes across.

And I'm not saying it like he's a bleeding heart saint that should get a Nobel prize (mr. husband is close to saying that tho), but again, fame aside, people that are THIS RICH can only be really happy with someone also happy just being THIS RICH. The end of Notting Hill is her giving up her career to live quiet and pop out a bebe 😭.

Tayvis working out or not working out it's whatever, him or the next person, she can't be with someone that will pearl clutch or eye roll if she ever wants to drop 8 figures in some vapid pretty jewelry. And if joe goes for the next most popular person in the world again, it needs to be a paul newman type that actually loves that type of normalcy and will still drop 8 figures in a rare painting but hang it in their house in the middle of nowhere (and then raise kiddos that will donate it to charity when the time comes ofc)

And like, she can do all the important shit Elizabeth Taylor did in life too! COVERED IN DIAMONDS TOO! I dont get what she's so freaked out over having opinions and being poised all the time. Even in her current rebellious METAL era, she's such a complicated messy darling to me 😭😭😭

(Pls tumblr don't eat my ask, pls nat, I need your go off queen 👼 I'm in too deep)

my sister my queen ur still stoned af lol which I don’t judge but idk if I can meaningfully contribute to your thoughts. Just here to say you are valid lol and your relationship sounds awesome lmfao. Find u a person who’ll get stoned with u and discuss Joever and sociology 👸🏻 Queen shit.

[away-ward]

I would love to read KO’s post about Will but I can’t seem to find it 😭

I don’t understand why we gotta read dark romance, expect only the MMC to ruck up, and suddenly had to paint em as this innocent girl or woman or something, as if she did not had a fair share to will's ruin?

I’m not saying that Em didn’t hurt Will because she did I think that has been very obvious. But how he chose to cope with losing her is not on Em. Also Em can do no wrong in my eyes 🤷🏻‍♀️ yes she was bitchy but I support women’s rights AND wrongs! And I happened to love her bitchy attitude.

But finally when we meet emory and we saw her hurting will, we wanna change up her characterisation now?

I never said she didn’t hurt Will? What I meant was even after everything Will went through he was still close minded in viewing Em’s trauma and still refused to see that some people are forced to make tough choices. Idk maybe it’s because he has never been in a situation where he was forced to make a hard decision but for him to say

“I didn’t give a fuck about the why anymore.” — the why in question being about her abuse … is just a very weird thing to say. or for him to say “I know you know how to take a beating,” —ABSOLUTELY insane. Which is why in my eyes why should Em (which she does care bc she has held tremendous guilt for it but I feel like she shouldn’t) care about what he went through when he clearly doesn’t care about her trauma.

Em is a better person than me thats for sure. How she can easily forgive people is beyond me.

I also live in willemmy delulu land but I can do that and still hate Will 🤷🏻‍♀️

hey there again, Anon.

I also live in willemmy delulu land

At least this is something we all have in common.

I would love to read KO’s post about Will but I can’t seem to find it

The best way to read anything I posted about a specific character is to go to the character’s tag. I’ll tag this for will, so all you’ll have to do is click/tap his name and scroll to the bottom to get to the first posts. Start there and read what interests you. Tumblr’s search function is pretty horrendous, so it's understandable that you wouldn’t find anything if you just type 'will' into the search bar.

Or you could use the asked and answered. But I really like my will grayson tag.

Too bad there isn't a ways to filter tags, so you could look up asked and answered plus the will grayson tag.

The tag is #will grayson iii, by the way.

You didn’t really respond to anything I said, so I guess I’ll leave those alone. But I do think it’s interesting that the two quotes you pulled from were when Will was in the depths of his anger, not at all thinking about things rationally, and fighting his love for Emory with everything he had. Of course he’s going to say some of the worst things at that time. People say the most awful, hurtful things when they’re angry.

Not that it makes it right.

In reply, I’d offer:

“I dreaded dealing with her because even still – after the betrayal – I hadn’t wanted to lose her.

‘I should have come to you,’ she finally said. ‘I wish I had come to you and explained and faced you then.’

I swallowed the lump in my throat, knowing it wasn’t her fault. I wasn’t a passenger in all of this.”

And

“I should have stayed. She hadn’t needed a boyfriend. She needed a friend, and I’d been selfish and arrogant and spoiled. I should have been whatever she needed, whenever she needed me. She didn’t owe me her heart just because I wanted it. If I’d cared, I would’ve been more patient.”

And

“I love you,” he said again, “But I’ll let you go.”

And

“I’m sorry for everything,” I said.

“Me too, baby.” He kissed me. “I should’ve stayed. I’m sorry I walked away. I’m sorry I left you that day in the hallway at school.”

(had to include this one because I previously posted that he never said this directly to her. I usually skim over this scene, so I forgot it was there. I’m sorry, Will.)

My point is, Will very much did recognize that he was wrong, he recognized her trauma and that she didn’t owe him anything. He just didn’t do it right away, and let anger and resentment cloud his view of her.

You can hate Will. You may not think his words after the fact carry any weight at all, and that’s fair. I’m not demanding people love him. To me, his growth as a person is the most believable out of all the guys, and his love and devotion for Emory is the most obvious when taking the entire story into account. Which I really enjoyed (after several rounds of reading because he can be just the most insufferable person sometimes).

But that’s just me. Thanks for listening.

-KO