#more often than it should
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hey um queer desi people if you think you're alone, i promise you're not. i'm here, we're here, and we exist. i love you.
#desiblr#lgbtqia#desi queer#queer poc#you are not alone okay?#it's going to feel like it#more often than it should#but it's not true#weirdly specific but ok#asmi#maggots
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Have some Replica Leo for Round 2 of the @tmntfashioncompetition! This time the theme is: "Traditional Garment." I’ll be up against @villainleoau and I’m nervous cuz that’s a STELER crew and some of the most talented artists in the fandom (also their fashion sense is off the charts)!
For the art I decided to lean into some traditional Japanese attire and a prosthetic more befitting of the era. Originally I was just going to have Leo's missing arm be covered, but if he wants to be truly capable with a katana he'd need something to help keep the sheath affixed when removing his sword. This is especially necessary for duels, since the speed and pressure applied from the drawing of the sword are imperative. I imagine he has several more varying tools he can screw onto his arm in the little side pack. Also note, the Kanji means "ninja" or "ninpo" and the finer hiragana text is the infamous "You are not alone" line. I had a lot of fun with this one, trying to decide if maybe I should put it up for print.
Some of my inspo under the cut:
#yes I know he’s wearing attire more akin to samurai than ninja#pretend he’s under cover#blending into his surroundings#blind spots#all that jazz#I’ll be honest I wanted to do three colors because I didn’t want to take the time to render him fully#but I’m pretty happy with the outcome#should use a minimum color palette more often#tmntfashioncompetition#traditional garment theme outfit#fashion propaganda#traditional fashion#rottmnt#rottmnt replica#replica#TMNT#Leonardo#kathaynesart#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#unpause rise of the tmnt#save rottmnt#unpause rottmnt
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they are talking shit (or flirting?)
#dragon age#zevran arainai#warden surana#zevran x warden#zevran x surana#dragon age origins#dao#dragon age fanart#their dynamic is zevran insulting people and kelwyn going youre right but not so loud#kelwyn (internally): what a tool. we should just kill them.#zevran leaning over 2 seconds later: what a tool right. do you wanna kill them.#i imagine kelwyn doesn't emote very strongly#and he stares people down a lot lmao#amazing poker face.#i imagine zevran tries to get him to crack in public#(he has been successful more often than kelwyn will admit)#itseart
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The Wizard Cowboy War (Wizboys VS Cowards) continues on.
#Wizard#Fourfold soul#fitch#nobody#Digital art#Well! Kind of! This one is actually mixed media -the lines are traditionally done with ink#then scanned and coloured digitally. I like the look and the feel of this method a lot.#In case anyone out there was wondering what the original doodle the Cowboy Wizard Jousting comic was - it was this!#I had indended it to stay a sketchbook doodle but I kept thinking about it - and figured 'why not also use it to do an art experiment?'#The funny thing about using existing characters for this is that this isn't even that far off from what they actually are.#The original pitch for the setting of FFS was 'Cowboy Exorcists'. Which sort of just makes them Cowboy Wizards in a way.#Design wise all I really did here was give them sillier hats.#Fitch isn't boy enough for the boy to be more than a carry over from 'cowboy'#But our Nameless Nobody? Yeah. They earned that Coward Badge good and true.#I have a few more doodles from this (AU? I guess?) That I may post if I'm low energy this week.#I missed drawing these little fellas. I should budget my art time to draw them more often...
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thoughts filled with pickles
#i think about pickles moaning for it in rehabklok more often than one should#daekiyu art#metalocalypse#nathan explosion#pickles the drummer#nickles
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Decided to color a Ninjago coloring book page!
Here's the original line art if anyone wants it:
#my art#ninjago#lego ninjago#lloyd garmadon#ninjago lloyd#lego ninjago fanart#this was more for training than anything#sometimes a girl just wants to color yknow?#turned out pretty well#this gi is so iconic as well#I really should draw pre movie lloyd more often I draw alot of season one and after season 7 but never really the in-between
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Okay but like. Real talk. 'Their son died and they didn't even notice' sounds real bad, but can we like- Danny was still living with them. It is reasonable to assume that your kid that is still living with you is not dead. It is not like he just disappeared one day and they didn't notice.
'Their son died and they didn't notice' is a FANTASTIC line for characters to torment themselves and each other with. Danny can lay awake at night and think about it. Maddie can rip her hair out over it. Sam can throw it at them in a spiteful rage.
But like. It's definitely not an accurate summary of what happened there. And I think the author should maintain a careful awareness of that.
#maybe i'm swatting at shadows here#but i see this SO MUCH in fics#often in a way that seems to be making a point of it?#which is to say: it is not a point#it is an angst line#danny phantom#jack fenton#maddie fenton#danny fenton#i know 'the author should know that' is always kind of sketchy#because i'm not saying The Author Must Make A Moral Statement#it's more of a quality statement?#like. authors can write abusive relationships all they want! no one real is getting hurt!#but you have to UNDERSTAND that you are writing an abusive relationship#because otherwise you will put weird subtext in by accident#and that's kind of what i'm saying here#the characters can make all the accusations you want#but You The Author should understand that it's more complicated than that
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crazy this guy can kill anyone with a thought
he’s just a silly billy
he don’t need to mind control me to do anything sign me up to be a child soldier get me in the field
#it really is a 50/50 of what posts the internet pay attention too#waiting patiently to see what people think of ready player one cherik au 😁#anyway i love it when fics display how powerful charles is#need him to kill half the population again 💔#i get excited whenever he does more than just read surface thoughts#also i’m just showing off new pictures i saved lol#if you knew me you would know i don’t save pictures of stuff very often#my cat just dug his claws in my bare leg ow#trying to decide if i should read more comics today or watchs movies#kinda wanna watch stuff#charles xavier#cherik#x men#professor x#wish does not shut up
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hello everyone please accept this as my apology for disappearing off the face of the earth for a second time <3
NO SHIP HATE IN THE NOTES PLEASE this is meant to be silly
#i know creek is more popular than style but i simply HAD to put them as random canon yaoi because that’s literally what they are#and kyman isn’t really tragic or canon but it made me laugh to put it there soooo#NO HATE TO HEIMAN the ship is actually so interesting and i know there are people who enjoy it#never seen a tolkole or bunny hater but i could be wrong idk#don’t mind me casually pushing the revin agenda#i know i used their breakup picture BUT ITS THE ONLY ONE I COULD FIND#matt and trey should make them stand next to each other more often#i actually love firkle x ike and karen x tricia but it is objectively silly#i don’t even know what i mean about cartman and butters but i know i’m right#stendy#style sp#sp style#fike#sp fike#kyman#heiman#tolkien x nichole#karen x tricia#sp bunny#scyde#sp creek#revin#sp revin#cartters#sp buttman#south park
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*But it wasn't funny.
Chara Week Day 3: Laughter
[Image Description: An Undertale comic that takes place in the True Lab. Panel 1: Frisk and Chara stand side-by-side, looking at something off-screen to the right. Frisk looks scared and is hugging themself while holding a stick. Chara, a ghost, is translucent and has a similar look of distress on their face. Panel 2: The amalgamate that resembles Snowdrake stands at the opposite end of the room, saying "Sn...o...wy..." Panel 3: A close up of Frisk's face. There are tears in their eyes. They hold their stick in front of themself as they open their mouth to speak, but Chara cuts them off with a laugh from off-screen. Panel 4: Chara holds a hand up to their face, smiling with their eyebrows knit together. They say, "...hehe. You laugh, and keep laughing." Panel 5: Chara is laughing in the foreground, hovering with their knees curled up to their chest and their arms wrapped around themself. They say, "It's SO funny, you can't stop." Frisk is in the background glancing sideways at them with concern. Panel 6: A closeup of Chara's face on a black background. They're laughing even harder and covering their eyes with their hand as tears run down their face. They say, "Tears run down your face." Panel 7: Chara looks to the side at Frisk, hand still covering one side of their face and still smiling, but their laughter dies out. They say, "... What?" Panel 8: Chara floats on a black background, alone, beside Frisk's red soul. They ask, "You didn't do that?" /End ID]
#posting this late at night because I just finished it and if I wait a second longer my impatience will overwhelm me#this took way longer than I thought it would........ but I'm satisfied with how it turned out at least#i love drawing comics I should do stuff like this more often. i'm really proud of the composition and everything#chara week#chara week 2023#undertale#safeutdr#chara dreemurr#frisk#chara#amalgamates#undertale amalgamate#my art#frisk dreemurr#comic#undertale comic#true lab#frisk undertale#chara undertale#undertale chara#undertale frisk#EVERYTHING about the true lab is so interesting to me..... especially this part. i have many thoughts.#aughhhh#but basically here it's like. Frisk is very afraid and stressed out but they're being super brave about it. and Chara's kinda freaking out#for a lot of reasons. seeing the amalgamates. thinking about them 'losing themselves'. all that on top of coming across the tapes...#lots of Bad Feelings and distress yknow?#etc etc this is just how I'm interpreting it#edit: added an image description. this is my first time writing an image description so please let me know if i need to change anything!#i can't tell if i overexplained or underexplained but i tried my best!#🌼
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"Huh."
#as with every game with some human mind stuffed into a machine i need to ask if he still has human instinct left in there somewhere#also i don't really think ordan would eat elegantly like some royalties anyways#you know the more i read about ordis the more i like him#i mean i never thought his talking is annoying like some people do apparently#but after going through the cephalon fragment thingy my thoughts about him-#-turned from “ominously happy” to “murderous but also kinda cute happy”#and you'd think it should be the other way around#hey if he has erased his memory a lot of times and probably has gone through the same reasoning-#-every time he chooses memory erasure rather than self destruction because he would probably also remember the previous attempts#will he someday choose the other option instead because of all the pain he endured?#(hopefully not i actually like him it's not destiny 2 i hope DE don't just yeet characters off their game that frequently)#also i like how he can take up some ordan karris knowledge by treating it as some stories / facts about others but not about himself#neat but he probably would have to erase his memories more often because it's still about ordan karris i guess#warframe#warframe operator#warframe ordis#ordis#my art
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ive said this before but it's hard being an lgbt malaysian and listening to western lgbt people freak out over things that have been our reality the entire time. i've had to come to terms with the fact that i'll likely never be able to legally transition in malaysia, will never be able to change my name or gender on documents and it will probably remain illegal for me to use public bathrooms, seek medical care, exist in public, do literally anything as a trans person there for the rest of my life. i am not happy about this and i am luckier than most having the ability to medically transition in canada but i'm always hyperaware that this can be taken away from me at any moment (and is likely to in the near future with the slow death of liberalism in canada as well), that whenever i return i'm at risk of imprisonment if i'm caught by the wrong person, and i know the reality of what life is like for people back home who do not have the privileges i do. but the thing is that even in malaysia trans people use the bathroom and exist in public and have jobs and fall in love and see the doctor and it is possible to carve out a life that is not wholly built upon despair. it's really really fucking hard and scary but we do it anyway because we have to. so it's just really hard to stomach white people in like california freaking out like it's impossible to live in these circumstances or no one else could possibly understand, sorry
#i want nothing more than to return home and be able to live in peace but my family knows it isnt safe for me#when you grow up understanding that to be lgbt means to be a literal criminal and people get caned killed imprisoned for it#but unfortunately mentioning any of this makes white people go well we should bomb you and do nato invasion because youre evil#rather than pulling themselves together and recognizing shared struggle. not always but often enough
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I know it's for a functional purpose but... Sam and Dean have matching tattoos. They share the same permanent marker on their bodies, same design, same placement. And it's addressed by the narrative as Totally Normal.
But do you think Dean felt some pleasure at the idea of Sam being marked in the same way he was? A concrete thing to tie them together? Did some part of Sam feel claimed by his brother? Did it feel special to them, or was it just another normalized, everyday iteration of their weird ass dynamic?
Also, thinking of the tattoo artist that did it. How hard did Sam and Dean attempt to convince them that no, it's not a couple's tattoo, it's uhhhh... a job thing. What job? Uhh, Uhhhh. Can't say. Either the artist was baffled or like... yeah right, sure, totally :/
And did they have to get giant ones on their chest? Over their hearts? Why not tiny ones on their ankles or something? (I mean afaik there's no supernatural rule suggesting that it had to be there, or a certain size.) Those boys are not beating the romantic implications of a couple's tattoo at all.
Every time they have sex their lover gets to see The Codependent Brother Tattoo front and center. No matter how good the sex is or how deep the relationship gets, a girlfriend will never claim him as much as his brother has. The first time she compliments the tattoo he's like "oh yeah my brother's got one too" with zero self awareness or sense that it's weird. God forbid she suggests they get matching tattoos too and she's met with a blank stare.
Do they have the tattoos in Heaven, for eternity? At some point they don't functionally need it anymore, but there's no reason it wouldn't stay. At a certain point it's just a part of them. No threat to prevent, no world to save, just cute lovey dovey matching tatts. I'm so normal about this.
#I'm high writing this#and starting to think I should get high more often#cooler post ideas than when I'm sober#god I'm so obsessed with these brothers#i feel feral#wincest#weirdcest#samdean
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Over the centuries, many poets, writers, painters, and sculptors were suspected of having Hanahaki. It seemed appropriate for an artist. A disease as poetic as it was tragic.
That's why, despite its rarity, Hanahaki was a famous disease.
Books, movies, plays, songs. It wasn't uncommon to find some portrayal of Hanahaki in the media. Everyone had some romantic and silly idea of what it was like to have Hanahaki.
Usually, this knowledge was limited to emotional triggers and the fact that the sufferer lived with a chest full of roots. Sometimes, people believed that Hanahaki could be cured through love.
Steve hated that idea.
Because he knew nothing would cure him. He could get a lung transplant, a heart transplant, a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, or any other organ that failed. The most likely outcome was his lungs. He would probably need a lung transplant one day, considering how much scar tissue he had accumulated in his chest. Pulmonary fibrosis was a bitch.
But he wouldn't be cured, he would just have more time.
His mother had managed to improve her quality of life by following Mr. Harrington around the world. They even seemed quite happy sometimes. Steve figured that staying away from him, having few feelings for him, helped too, after all, he was one less thing for Mrs. Harrington to worry about, since she put most of her feelings into her husband.
And if not even his mother, who understood him better than anyone else in the world, was capable of truly loving him, who would be?
Hanahaki could not be cured through love, and Steve preferred it that way, or he would have to face the reality that he was not loved as much as he wanted.
But Hanahaki could be controlled as long as he was on medication, treating the complications, monitoring the disease, and having a support network. People who would take care of him, who would not hurt him so easily. Being loved so intensely helped, because his body would understand love. It would not cure the disease, but it would ensure a slower progression, giving his body more time to recover.
The positive side of the Upside Down was this. Steve gained the children, Robin and Eddie. With Eddie, came Wayne. And even Joyce and Hopper cared immensely for him, even if they were more busy being the parents their children deserved. Nancy and Jonathan were a more complicated subject, and yet they were trustworthy.
Steve found himself surrounded by more love, loyalty and protection than he could have ever dreamed of.
The negative side, besides all the trauma, was that having so many people close to his heart meant that each of them had immense power over Steve, and, except for Robin, none of them knew it.
So when Eddie and Wayne left, he smiled and accepted it graciously. He tried to help them move, but his health had become increasingly declining and they rejected any help. Instead, he simply wandered around their new house, watching as the people he had grown to love, who shared so much of his pain, fears, and traumas, helped make it a home.
When he got tired, Steve decided to sit in the garden and eventually fell asleep there.
That was another thing Steve had learned to hate: it seemed like the disease had decided to finish him off. Even though he had been sick for most of his life, everything was manageable, easy to hide except for the flare-ups. When the flare-ups were over, he would bounce back and be his old self again. A tired, aching, constantly medicated young man. Not anymore.
He would have terrible days, get a little better, and then have a worse day. It was like taking 3 steps back, 2 steps forward, and then 2 steps back again.
It had become impossible to go a whole day without taking at least one nap.
When he woke up, restless and with his heart racing, it was still light out, so it couldn't have been that long. Robin was there, staring at him intently through her hair, her eyes a little teary.
"You scared me, Dingus." Steve blinked, still feeling a bit of the brain fog that was becoming more and more common. "Your parents still pay for your health insurance, don't they?"
For the next three weeks, Steve and Robin were absent from activities and meetings with everyone else a lot. Steve because he had to go for tests, Robin because she wanted to be with him through it all.
"It's good that you have such a great girlfriend, Steve." The doctor, who had known Steve for years, commented almost too happily. "It'll be good for your health." The look of pity she usually wore when she met Steve seemed softer.
He had some blocked bile ducts, and they put in biliary stents. His platelets were low, and he received a transfusion. Since there were too many remnants of roots in his chest and throat, Steve had to stay in the hospital for two nights, dissolving and aspirating everything, to make sure he would be okay to go home.
He was also given a vitamin supplement, his medication was adjusted, and he discovered that he would need beta blockers to slow his heart rate and reduce the chances of having an upper gastrointestinal hemorrhage.
They also discussed the possibility of another surgery. Steve refused.
On the way home, Robin tried to convince him to accept it, to remove all the roots, every single one of them. “I don’t want to. With each surgery, there are more scars.”
“Who cares about a few scars? Steve! You… You never did, why now? Nobody gives a shit about that, and if some girl complains about it, she doesn’t deserve you!”
“On my lungs, Robin. I don’t think it’s worth another surgery right now, because it’ll just give me more scar tissue. They’re too deep, so it’s probably better to wait for them to get worse rather than dig through my chest to rip them out. Eventually, I’ll need a transplant, I guess, and I figure it’s better to put off unnecessary risks until there’s no other option. I don’t know. Does that make sense? I don’t want to have another surgery, just to delay the inevitable. Maybe it’s stupid, but…”
He paused, trying to find ways to say what he wanted to say.
“Sometimes I think if I keep doing all this, I’ll be so patched up that there won’t be anything left in the end. It’s stupid, isn’t it?” Steve laughed self-deprecatingly.
After that, they sat in silence until they reached Steve's apartment, and before they went in, Robin grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes with such intensity that he wanted to squirm.
"I'll be your donor, Steve. I have two perfectly healthy lungs."
"Robin…" She swung her arms so aggressively that she almost hit the door, and Steve's hand, which was still between hers, froze in midair. Robin's eyes widened even more, and she pulled his hand again desperately, as if letting go would make him disappear into thin air.
“If I’m not a match, I’ll steal it, Dingus. I swear I’ll steal all the organs you need with my own hands.”
Steve laughed and hugged him, because what else was there to do?
They spent the whole night snuggled up on the couch, watching movies until they fell asleep. Steve, who spent the whole day taking naps and had insomnia at night, woke up after a few hours, as usual, and almost went to Eddie’s room, before he remembered that Eddie wasn’t there anymore.
Steve coughed, just a little, with longing.
He looked at Robin, illuminated by the soft glow of the television, then looked out onto the balcony and, despite his better judgment, woke her up, who was alarmed until she realized he was smiling.
"I’m in love with Eddie."
#I wanted to write more about the romantic side of things#But I think it's fair to focus more on dealing with the illness#even if that focus is superficial#I think chronic illnesses are often poorly portrayed and that's kind of annoying#Anyway#I'll try to focus on the steddie in the next part#But I'm bad with dialogue#so it should be more about describing what's being said than actually writing what they say#Yes#Eddie will be here in the next part
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I'm feeling like trash rn because I'm sick, so I've made it my blorbo's problem. (...Ignore the fact robots can't get sick, just pretend he's low on battery or whatever lmao)
#Borb's Scribbles#Ramattra#Overwatch#i didn't put much effort into this as it was never intended to be more than a doodle#and honestly? that mindset has been freeing#not having to worry about getting everything perfect like my perfectionistic idiot self would usually yell at me about#also this was REALLY fast#just one drawing session and boom#I should probably do these silly in-the-moment doodles more often for my sanity-
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haha albino ass 🫵
#he looks like when you halfass peeling an orange and a bunch of the middle skin is left over#yeah I’m not rendering those nips chief#male presenting nipples!!! might I add#this was fun I don’t often get to add texture and different shades to skin#I should do that more often#he’s a lot paler than the ref pic cuz I want him to suffer :)#slap his exposed lobster skin with your cold hand#next I should learn how to draw backgrounds -w-#digital art#my art#fanart#hetalia#hws prussia#aph prussia#gilbert beilschmidt#honk honk mfer :o)#call that a built in stress ball#you could also take your stress out on other ways with him ;)#I always end up posting my thirstiest art on sundays…#hetalia fanart
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