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casspurrjoybell-26 · 1 year ago

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Made of Steele - Chapter 30

*Warning: Adult Content*

With everything prepared for tonight, there was just one last thing I needed to do, before my family and Kit arrived.

Laurent had sent me a text an hour ago asking to meet me and given how I ended things, I owed him that much.

With a knock on the door, I knew it had to be him, as I wasn't expecting anyone else.

Once I go over to open the door to see who it was, I look at Laurent and without a word, I open the door wide and step aside and watch as he comes inside.

Shutting the door behind him, I don't miss the way he looked at me, with an expression I've seen only once.

The day I yelled at him and left France and him behind.

"Thank you mon... Jamie, for meeting with me," he said, as he smiled at me and then checked out what I was wearing from head to toe.

"You look handsome. I take it you have plans?"

"Yes," I spoke quietly. "With my family."

"And... Kit."

I watched as his smile sunk at the mention of Kit and I didn't need to be a genius to realize how fucked up this situation was.

"I'm sorry," I said, rubbing the back of my neck as he turned his head away from me. There was silence, then Laurent turned to me and smiled sadly, with a shake of his head.

"No... I am sorry, I thought all this with your ex was behind you, and it really was a beautiful story Jamie," he said, as he went to stand inches in front of me.

"I talked to my editor in chief and she has agreed to take it down, of course for my undying loyalty," he smiled. "I checked on my way over, it's gone."

I sigh and take a step back, feeling a weight off my shoulders as the words 'it's gone' leave his mouth.

A month ago I had completely lost my mind knowing that what I was for myself was now in the hands of a publisher, no other person than the guy I was seeing.

It broke me more ways than one, the betrayal was deep and I just couldn't look at Laurent the same way anymore.

I hated what he did but most of all... I hated that I still had feelings for Kit.

"Does he know how much you love him?" Laurent asked, filling in the silence.

I looked at him then shook my head, an uneasy sinking feeling in my stomach at the mention of 'love'.

Kit only made me feel like this, this anxiety I feel, this emotion I hated with passion, yet craved when during those two years apart.

Love... hah, it was the reason I feel so messed up these days.

"Not yet," I swallowed hard, feeling that sensation intensify. "I'm going to tell him tonight. I know you don't want to hear this but it's always been him... I'm sorry Laurent," I said sincerity, looking at Laurent in his eyes.

I had half expected him to whack me, scream at me at least but instead he steps forward until he has his arms wrapped around me, surprising me completely.

"I wish you luck Jamie, truly I do," he whispers gently as he squeezes me before letting go and standing back. "He's a lucky guy, I hope he realizes that... and..." he pauses, his eyes searching mine as a smile raises to his lips. "I really did love you, before I screwed this up but I always knew you didn't love me and I regret what I did and I just hope... we remain friends at least."

A month ago I couldn't look at him... now when I look at him I see just how much he put up with my shit, more than anyone else ever has and for that, I really did regret treating him how I did.

I said a lot of shit, especially when he did what he did.

That was then and now I realize that nothing good comes from holding onto grudges, I have Kit to thank for that.

"Just don't do it again," I joke lightly, holding my hand out. "Friends?"

He smiled and then shook my hand, clasping his in mine he nodded his head, whilst tears started to form in the corner of his eyes.

"S"Sorry, Jamie. I'm just so sorry for what I did," he rubbed his face, before sighing than smiling as he looked at me, a pained, yet confident smile. "I shall get going, I have a flight to catch and I really can't take another day off or Sheri will be lost without me," he laughed, as I smiled and watched as he walked to the front door.

"You really do look great Jamie and if this Kit does not see you for how I see you..." he paused. "There is always Paris."

There were no words as I watched him open the door and leave behind it, without looking back at me, I watched as the door slowly closed until it clicked.

I was even more sure now of what I needed to do tonight and even though I was nervous to the point of feeling like I needed to throw up, I wasn't going to back out.

Stepping away from the door, I walk further into the studio and notice a piece of paper folded up in the spot where Laurent once stood and as I bend down to pick it up, once I unfold it, I freeze.

'What was this doing here?'

The letter I was suppose to send to Kit, was now in my hands.

Laurent.

Did he bring it here to persuade me to show it to Kit?

He probably wasn't expecting me to say what I said and then he just left this here as a reminder, nothing else makes sense.

I sigh and look at the letter for the first time since I wrote this... I smile and then crunch the paper up in my hands.

Kit was now here,and everything on this piece of paper I can now finally say to his face.

I can tell him how exactly his leaving had made me feel and how badly I wanted to forgive him for leaving.

I was young, fuck, I still am young but now I see that despite that pain and the hate I felt, I could never hate Kit.

The first time I met him, I had always thought of him differently and before I knew it, I realized something important.

I had always liked Kit, yet I didn't want to admit it because... I was afraid.

To the one who ran

You came into my world as messy as you left it and for that betrayal, I couldn't forget it.

Even though you're gone now and I'm still here, I still wait for you, your voice and your touch to grace my ear.

Right now I'm sitting, thinking of you here, telling me that everything will be okay and that you are near.

Nevermind, fuck you, I hate you, so how can I drop it?

When you're not here, how can I stop it?

This feeling, this pain that you left in your wake.

Come back, come here, just say the words, I'll believe anything you say as long as you say...

'I'm sorry, I love you, I'm coming for you.'

You were the one who ran and I didn't forget it, so make it up to me and I'll just forget it because...

'I love you, I miss you, I need you here too.'

To the one that ran, you know who I am and if I'm right about this and the touch we shared, I'm not going anywhere, so please come back and let's talk about it.

I'm here right now, no doubt about it, waiting, yearning, for you to come, so what are you waiting for?

To Kit,

I don't know why I wrote this and now that I look and it on paper, I feel like an idiot. If one day I do send this to you, I just want you to know I'm sorry for the shit I said. I don't hate you for leaving, I only can't believe you left without saying bye to me or giving me a reason for not coming back, I fucking hated you for the longest time but now I'm slowly accepting you had your reasons.

Life has changed since you left, I didn't go to college, I couldn't and it's not your fault, I just needed time away from it all and this place, it became toxic and because of that, I need to go away. Everywhere I go, I see you and in the past I'd probably call you a dick for haunting my mind but now I see that it's because I was too blind to tell you how I really felt. And how bad I took you leaving.

I'm going to travel for a while, you won't be able to reach me at home, so if you're ever in the states... call me and we'll talk. I'm thinking of France or Italy... I haven't made up my mind yet, my Spanish is shit but my French... Well, it's not the worst. I'm going to pursue art. I know it's clique and a one in a million chance but it's something that I've always wanted, I felt at ease drawing things on paper, making them come alive with.

I never told you but I've drawn you more than once, even before we spoke. I was too embarrassed to show you or admit it out loud but since you're not here, I'm free from that teasing, right?

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, forget it, it's in the past. Hope you are well... and if things change, hit me up, I didn't change my number. I'll be waiting for your call.

Jamie.

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i-smell-nell · 2 years ago

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A͓̽ ͓̽Y͓̽e͓̽a͓̽r͓̽ ͓̽A͓̽b͓̽r͓̽o͓̽a͓̽d͓̽ - Chapter 4

I helped Kalie get her bags into the flat and then shut the door. her hair was all blown about which looked pretty funny. mine was too but i was not slaying. she took her chicken nugget coat that she probably got on amazon for thirty bucks bitch in 2018 and was featured in a vlogmas video and threw it down next to the door where she kicked off her balenciaga croc heels.

"Holy shit. are those the balenciaga croc heels??" i exclaimed.

"Yeah!" she replied, more bubbly than i would have expected given the circumstances, "I got them at the goodwill for like fifteen dollars a couple months ago. Ab. solute. STEAL!!."

"Oh my god, I'm so jealous. Anyway, welcome, hi, Lets get your stuff into your room so you can crash and I can too. I spent way too long playing animal crossing last night." I said.

Kalie laughed and we moved her things into her room. It didnt take long to get her set up. We gabbed for a bit before we both fell asleep in my room. I was on the bed and kalie was slumped backwards in my beanbag (it was not $300).

a couple of hours later, i was woken up by the loudest sound i'd ever heard in my life. I thought someone was being shot up outside or another big ass tractor was driving down the main street again but i looked around and kalie was still Asleep. It was kalie. she was snoring! I would have said it was cute but even that one crossed the line. My moms chihuahuas at home werent even as loud as that...

I decided to sneak out. As i glanced quickly at the clock it said 9:04 am.

Perfect. Coffe time.

In the kitchen, I put the kettle on and leant against the rugged looking old table that was one of the only pieces of furniture we had. It was left when I moved in, clearly bc people who were here before didnt wanna take it home. I took the only 2 mugs I had from the cupbrads and filled them with some coffee. then water. i huffed the steam as it rose from the cups and i felt the shiver all the way down to my juicy bussy. God the smell gets me high.

I added milk, even though i have ibs (i love the challenge of going about my day beating the odds after trying my luck with darey. My aunt Shery says it builds character... she's weird.)

......

Later on, I had finished my coffee and had some breakfast (i had cereal which looking back i shouldnt do that again cause that was a lot of milk) and i noticed the helicopter snoring had stopped. All felt at peace.

Until i heard a slam on the ground from the other room. I ran in and found kalie on her back flat on the ground wiggling like a tortoise that had been flipped upside down. She must have fallen off the beanbag! I went and helped her up.

"Oh my god.... thank you so much. That was really EMBARRASSING!!" kalie joked to mitigate the shame she felt from being flipped like like a tortoise. I felt bad for her. we needed to go out to ikea and ger her a bed that she wouldnt fall off of.

"What time is it?" she asked, "I need to feed-" she froze and went karen white. " OH MY GOD!! WAFFLE!!" she screamed, running out of the room, almost smacking her face on the door frame as she went.

What the fuck is a waffle? i thought. She wants breakfast?? is it like a medication?

#my fic #hashtag nell

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years ago

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"....So I Married A Monster" *Chapter 8*

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

OHEMGEEEEE!!! A new chapter!

I appreciate the patience this week/last week guys, It's certainly been-- challenging. And it's not over yet, but I did want to get you a chapter since you all have been so understanding and lovely.

That being said I really am here just to break your heart with some good ol' angsty angst. MWAHAHAHHAAHA.

Enjoy.

I may try and put out another chapter tonight, but we will only be getting to 10 with this one I'm 90% sure so I want them to be good chapters.

Tag List

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@milkshqke

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@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

@word-scribbless

@storiesofsvu

@believinghurts

==========

“Sir, I’m going to need you to calm down,” An officer told him.

“No!” William screamed. “That man kidnapped my wife--”

“She’s NOT your wife!” Rafael cut him off. “You can verify that, she’s his ex-wife,”

“How ‘bout I verify my foot up your ass, dickhead?!” Lewis screamed.

“Lovely, Lewis,” Rafael rolled his eyes with a sarcastic laugh.

“You son of a--” Lewis lunged for Rafael but an officer held him back.

“BOTH OF YOU, GET OUT,” The nurse escorted the two men to the waiting room. “Family only!”

“But she’s my--”

“EX” Rafael finished. “And I’m her--”

“BOYFRIEND,” Lewis snarled. “Not HUSBAND,”

“I’m more concerned about the you're blood covered in, Mr.--” A female officer interjected.

“Barba,” Rafael finished.

“It’s my wi--” Lewis started, but saw Rafael’s eyes glaring at him. “Y/N’s blood, my ex wife,”

“And exactly why are you covered in her blood Mr. Barba?” The officer continued to question him.

“Because I--” He began to explain how he had rescued you from that monster.

“BECAUSE HE RAPED HER!!” Lewis screamed again.

“Alright, Mr.--”

“Loomis,” William stuck out his hand. “Billy Loomis,”

“That is BULLSHIT,” Rafael snapped. “His name is William Lewis, look him up,”

“Alright, you come with me, you go with Cooper,” The woman officer instructed her partner to take Lewis the opposite direction.

“Fine with me,” Rafael grumbled as the other cop dragged Lewis away.

“Alright so why don’t you start from the beginning, Mr. Barba,” She pulled out an iPad from her back holster.

“....How far do you mean, officer?” Rafael asked as they sat down in two waiting room chairs.

“Why don’t you call me Sherrie,” She softened her tone with a small smile. Ah, so she was going to play good cop with him.

“How far do you think will help me understand this?” She continued.

“Well,” Rafael rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s complicated,”

“....How so?” Sherrie raised an eyebrow. She had that look on her face; the same one Olivia got when she didn’t believe a word a perp was saying. Great.

“Well first of all, that man is not who he says he is,” He pointed towards where Lewis had been taken. “His name is William Lewis, and he is a wanted rapist and murderer in several states, including New York,”

“Ah, New York,” Sherrie nodded. “Is that where you're from?”

“Uh, yes, New York City in fact,” Rafael clarified. Why did she say it like that? She used a tone that he should be using. That disdain, that condescending tone. That just pissed Rafael off even more.

“I see,” Sherrie nodded as she jotted down things on her iPad.

“Look just because I’m from New York and you people--”

“Us people?” Sherrie gave him a glare.

“...You all,” Rafael changed his tune. “Think ‘down’ of us New Yorkers--”

“Oh I believe it’s the other way around, Mr. Barba,” Sherrie scowled. Well, she did have a point.

“....Lewis lives there too,”

“Really?” Sherie raised an eyebrow. “Because I just searched his name in our database and Mr. LOOMIS is a non-offender, born and bred New Jersian.

“That is a load of shit!” Rafael stood up. “I am telling you, he is a psychopath. He has several identities across the god damn country, and he’s--”

“Not on trial here, Mr. Barba,” Sherrie finished.

“And I am?” Rafael scoffed.

“We’ll see,” She gave him a look.

“Por el amor de Dios....” Rafael muttered, along with a few other obscenities in spanish. “Look just call the NYPD. Talk to Sergeant Benson of the SVU Unit” Rafael instructed her.

“SVU hmm?” Sherrie raised an eyebrow as she typed.

“Yes!” Rafael cried. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you! I am the Assistant District Attorney of New York City! I would never, ever hurt anyone. Especially not Y/N. I love her,”

“Right,” Sherrie nodded. “Alright well I’ll call her after we’re done here, okay?”

“Sure you will,” Rafael muttered with a roll of his eyes.

“Do you really wanna start an attitude with me, Mr. Barba?”

“Rafael,” He exhaled. “My name is Rafael,” The more she used ‘Mr. Barba’ the more he felt he actually was on trial. “And I’m sorry, I just-- I’m scared,”

“For you or for her?” Sherrie questioned.

“For her!” Rafael got excited again. “Lewis raped her and tore her rectum, then went and took a shower after haphazardly bandaging her, like it was no big fucking deal!”

“And you know this, how?” She asked in a suspicious manner.

“Because she called me,” He continued. “She called me earlier and told me he had her hostage,”

“He was holding her hostage?” Sherrie continued to use a suspicious tone.

“Yes! And I can prove it!” Rafael suddenly remembered the picture Lewis had so cockily sent him.

The one of him holding a gun pressed to your back. The image would haunt him forever. He went to get his phone, but it wasn’t in his pocket. Shit, it must still be in the car. He had hastily dropped it as soon as he told you he was coming in to get you.

“Shit,” He muttered.

“Is there a problem?” Sherrie asked.

“I have a photo on my phone, but I must have left it in my car,”

“Conveniently,” She nodded.

“NO!” Rafael stomped his foot. “Look if you’ll just let me go get it--”

“Right,” Sherrie scoffed sarcastically with a laugh. “Let me just let you ‘run out to your car’,”

“You can follow me, escort me, whatever,” He huffed. “I have nothing to hide,”

“Alright then,” Sherrie followed Rafael outside the hospital doors, but his car wasn’t there.

“Shit,” He muttered. “They must have towed it because I just parked in the ambulance bay and got Y/N help,”

“Oh, mmhmm, I’m sure that must be what happened,” She rolled her eyes.

“This is insane,” Rafael half laughed at the absurdity of the situation. He felt like he was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. He was being treated like a convict while Lewis was the golden boy of Jersey. This was a nightmare.

“Can we just--” Rafael ran his hands through his hair, trying to think of something, anything that would clear his name.

“Can you just call the NYPD, please?” He begged Sherrie. “I swear to you, Olivia Benson will clear my name and tell you all about William Lewis,”

Sherrie looked at him for a long moment, debating whether to cut him some slack. On the one hand, he was covered in your blood, and had brought you in. Also, he was from New York City, so God knows how slick he was. On the other hand, he did look genuinely scared and pitiful, and if he had the balls to ask her to actually call the NYPD, maybe he was telling the truth.

“Alright Rafael, I’ll humor you,” She finally nodded, typing NYPD into Google. She got the number and began dialing it, waiting for someone to answer.

“Hi, yes this is Officer Reagan of the Jersey PD-- Is there an Olivia Benson there?” Sherrie asked as she gave Rafael a side eye. There was silence for a moment, then she began to speak.

“Hi yes, Sergeant Benson. This is-- Right. Do you know Rafael Barba?”

“Mmmhmm, well he’s here at Jersey County Hospital having brought in a woman who had clearly been assaulted, and he--” Sherrie stopped as Olivia began speaking very fast and loudly.

“Look ma’am there’s no reason to-- Yes her husband-- alright her ex husband, Billy Loomis-- Alright allegedly this ‘William Lewis’. Whoa there ma’am-- Sergeant, there’s no need to get hysterical,” Rafael chuckled to himself as he watched Sherrie get chewed out by Olivia.

“...Well yes he is here, but I really don’t feel comfortable having you take him into custody, Sergeant. This isn’t your jurisdiction, so I’m sorry but you have no claim on Billy, or William, or whoever,” Sherrie was getting fed up with Olivia’s attitude.

“Uh yes, that is so, sergeant. If you’d like to take it up with my sergeant, feel free to come down here and-- well fine! Good, we’ll be here. No I will not be letting Mr. Barba go, he’s still a-- you know what, I’m sick of this. You wanna come down here and raise a fit for your man here, go right ahead,” Sherrie hung up the phone and looked at a now smirking Rafael.

“I told you,” He smirked.

“Yeah well you’re not going anywhere until this ‘Olivia Benson’ gets here. Which I assume will be pretty soon,”

“Your assumption is spot on,” Rafael chuckled to himself. If there was one thing he could count on, Olivia would come running to his defense at the drop of a hat.

-----------------

Meanwhile

“Look I’m telling you, that man abducted my ex wife in the middle of the night and raped her,” Lewis was scrambling.

“And how do you know this, Mr. Loomis?” Officer Cooper asked.

“Because I was there,” He explained.

“And why were you at your ex-wife’s house?” Cooper asked skeptically.

“We--” William was thinking on the fly.

He was still fuming from the balls on Barba trying to rescue you, and agitated that he got the male cop who wasn’t so easily manipulated as a woman would’ve been.

“We were reconciling,” He lied.

“Reconciling?” The officer raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“I told her earlier today that I had made a mistake leaving her and my family, and that I wanted to come back home,” He explained. “And then I offered to pick up our girls from school and meet her at home, while she broke it off with that bastard,”

“Broke it off?” The officer questioned him. “So they are in a relationship?”

“...Yeah,” He muttered.

“So how exactly did her boyfriend kidnap her, if she went to him willingly?”

“....He got pissed when she tried to break it off,” Lewis was spinning a thread of lies now. “He called me and told me that if he couldn’t have her, nobody could,”

“I see,” Cooper nodded, typing on his iPad

“So when she came home to me and the girls, he followed her. We didn’t know until he broke in and kidnapped Y/N,” Lewis now focused on keeping his ‘concerned husband’ act. He was pretty sure he had a good story going.

“Mmm hmm,” The officer nodded as he continued typing. He wasn’t even acknowledging him; that was making Lewis’s blood boil. He liked being in control; he hated being ignored.

“Look can I check on my wife, please?” He tried going for the sympathy card again, knowing he wasn’t getting anywhere with this guy.

“Legally she’s not your wife anymore, Mr. Loomis,” The officer finally looked up to Lewis once more. “So technically you have no legal right to see her right now, as you’re not her current family,”

“I AM HER FAMILY GOD DAMMIT!!!” Lewis screamed, losing his cool. He quickly panicked and dialed it back. “I mean, she’s always going to be my family. Her and my precious girls,”

“....Right,” The officer nodded, not amused by his little temper tantrum. He had seen guys like this before; controlling, hot tempered husbands. He had grown up with a man just like that; it was one of the reasons he became a cop.

“And where exactly are your ‘precious girls’, Mr. Loomis?” He added. Guys like these, they lost their heads when they felt cornered. Lewis probably hadn’t even remembered they existed.

“...They’re at home, asleep,” He said softly.

“Alone?” Cooper raised an eyebrow.

“We live like two blocks from here officer,” Lewis lied again, having indeed forgotten about the girls. “I didn’t want to scare them, they’re asleep in their comfy beds, totally oblivious to this nightmare,”

“And exactly how old are they?” Cooper gave him a look.

“...Old enough to be alone for a bit,” Lewis shrugged, hoping he’d take that as an answer.

“Well, at the risk of ‘worrying’ them, I think I’d better send an officer over there to check on them, don’t you think?” The officer asked in a accusatory tone.

Lewis really did want that, he was actually starting to worry about them. He actually had told Maggie that you felt sick and were in your room, and he was going out to get you medicine. But this guy was already clearly skeptical. If he told this officer where you actually lived, he was going to accuse him of child endangerment.

“...Mr. Loomis?” The officer called to him, but he was busy plotting an escape route.

Lewis glanced around the room, gauging how many people were in the vicinity. It was a bunch of pathetic patients with random injuries and illness’s waiting on a doctor, some ER nurses, a receptionist, the two cops, and him and Barba. Then he glanced at the gun in the officer’s holster, a plan formulating in his head. He wanted you all to himself, that was for sure. But you and your fucking white knight might have just outsmarted him for that to happen. Unless... the line you had said earlier about the girls being leverage. He hated the idea of exploiting the girls like that, but he was not going back to prison, and he was not losing those girls.

“Mr. Loomis!” The officer repeated in a louder, angrier tone. Lewis finally looked at him with a very sinister smile, eerily calm.

“...Ah officer, maybe you should take care of that first,” Lewis pointed to something behind him. As soon as the officer turned to see what he was talking about, Lewis yanked the gun from his holster and fired two shots into his head.

--------------

Across the room, Rafael and Officer Sherrie immediately flinched and ducked at the sound of the loud bang from the gun. People began screaming and running around in panic, most of them heading out the front doors of the hospital. Rafael’s eyes widened in horror as he realized Lewis had gotten a gun and had just murdered an officer. He turned to Officer Reagan who looked at him in shock, and a bit in remorse. She knew she had gotten the situation wrong, and now her partner had paid the ultimate price for it.

“Lewis, look just calm down--” Rafael tried to reason with Lewis, but the manic look in his eyes showed him he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

“Why don’t YOU calm down, counselor?” Lewis smirked as he raised the gun to Rafael. If there was one sure fire way to ultimately punish you for trying to run off with the do gooder, it would be getting rid of him altogether.

“No, Lewis don’t--” Rafael barely got out a plea for his life before Lewis had shot a bullet into his chest. More people screamed, and Officer Reagan rushed to help him.

Lewis took this opportune moment to run out of the hospital. He sprinted into the parking lot and picked the first car he saw to break into and hotwire, speeding out of the parking lot back to your place. He had to get the girls before cops found out where you lived. He’d figure out where to go from there.

From inside an examination room, you had started to come to as the IV bags of blood began to fill your system back up. You had barely had a chance to sit up before you heard the first shot go off. You immediately knew it was Billy, he had found you. You saw the doctor and nurses that were in the room with you slam the door shut to keep you all safe from Billy. You could see through a window into the lobby just enough to see Rafael with his hands up, before Billy put a bullet in him. You watched in horror as Rafael slumped to the ground, and a woman officer rushing to help him.

“NO!!!!!!” You screamed, trying desperately to get off the table.

The doctor and nurses held you down and slapped hands over your mouth to keep you quiet, terrified Lewis would come in there next. But to their relief he dashed out the door, and the hands were removed from your mouth. However they kept you pinned down so that you wouldn’t pull your IV’s out, inadvertently letting blood gush out all over the patient room.

You watched helplessly as nurses swarmed Rafael and rushed him off to another part of the hospital altogether.

What kind of nightmare had you woken up to?

#rafael barba #rafael barba angst #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfiction #william lewis x you #william lewis #william lewis x reader #svu fanfiction #law and order svu fanfiction #william lewis fanfiction #so i married a monster #rafael barba imagine #william lewis imagine #william lewis angst

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scottfuckingreed · 4 years ago

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Love Drug - Jeff Atkins

@anisiamoisa SAID: ‘I wanted to request a Jeff Atkins imagine where they take the love drug (season two episode 7 I think) with Clay, Hannah, Alex and Sheri. Maybe some smut too’

Warnings!: Just some cute smutty shit really, and mentions of drug use!

Sometimes when being around someone, you start to feel exactly how they feel. In this case, being with Clay makes me anxious as hell. He’s walking with his hands twiddling through each other, and he’s made his body look incredibly small. “Are you alright Clay?” I giggle. By the look on his face, I’d say no. “I’m fine,” I look across to Hannah, who was walking the other side of him. She shrugs, which makes me laugh. “It’s okay to be nerv-” “it’s just that we don’t know where these drugs have come from. We could die!” He explodes as we get outside Jeff’s house. “I don’t think Jeff is tryna kill us Clay,” me and Hannah laugh along together. “If you die, at least you can haunt him,” I add, nudging him on the shoulder. “You are NOT helping!”

“There she is!” Jeff woo’s as I walk in. The ‘pointing’ makes me blush massively. Huge arms wrap themselves around my waist, pulling me in as close as he can. About three or four kisses get placed in several places on my face, before turning to Clay and Hannah. “Hey guys, welcome,�� he says ‘normally’. “I see how it is; favouritism,” Clay mutters, which makes me laugh too much. “Oh Clay’s jealous!” The grip is removed from me, and I witness his arms wrap around Clay, lifting him up slightly. “Do you want one, Hannah?” He offers once he lets Clay’s feet touch the ground again. “I’m good, but thank you,” Jeff doesn’t care, and gives Hannah a hug anyway. I swear my boy is too pure for this world.

Once Sheri and Alex arrive, we sit in a circle-ish. Hannah sits next to Clay, then Alex, then Sheri, and Jeff sits between my legs. Playing with Jeff’s hair is honestly one of my favourite things. Once again, Clay is twiddling his thumbs. “Clay-” “isn’t sugar and caffeine a kind of high, right?” he blurts out. I watch Hannah out her hand over Clay’s, which makes his eyes widen. Seeing Clay all caught up with Hannah is so cute. He should honestly just go for it. But then again, this is Clay we’re on about. Never gonna happen. “Jenson, would I ever lead you astray?” I lock hands with Jeff, intertwining our fingers tightly together. He raises them. My heart melts more as he places a kiss on each of the backs of my hands. One on each. I smile to myself. He loosens his grip, letting my hand slid away as he stands up. Reaching into his pocket, he takes out a small clear bag with white pills in there. He passes on to each of us, leaving Clay till last. “This peer pressure.” He shakes his head. He takes the pill anyway, but you can see the clear uncertainty in his face. And his voice. And his everything really. “I’m not gonna force you Jenson,” Jeff sits back with me, but hints me to shuffle forwards instead. Once he places himself behind me, I decide this is my chance to take the comfiest seat there is... Jeff Atkins’ lap. “But it’ll be good for you.” In no more - or less - than a ‘three, two, one’, each of us had swallowed our drug. Clay hesitated, as if he was seeing if we were all gonna take it, but he took it nevertheless. And now we wait.

It was a fast turn around this time. I almost felt it as soon as I gulped it down. And now we sit laughing and giggling about shit that isn’t really funny. “You’re friends,” pause, “with Justin Foley.” Jeff cries in laughter to Alex. I’m not sure why it’s funny, but we all laugh along anyway. “He’s an asshole,” Alex shakes his head with a massive smile. “He is...” I look over to Sheri, who you can tell is thinking. “He’s kinda hot though?” I shake my head, which makes Jeff nudge me in the side. “You don’t think Foley’s hot?!” He gasps. I turn to him, locking eyes. I put each hand on either side of his face. Pause. And... “nope.” I say simply. He raises his eyebrows, as if it’s totally unbelievable that I don’t find him attractive. “But, no one compares to you, my love,” I cringily whisper into his ear. I feel his smile widen across his face. I turn to gaze into his eyes, face to face. “You two are disgustingly adorable,” Hannah throws a pillow our way.

We continue to laugh for what seems like a long time, but it’s actually only 10/15 minutes. The drug makes you just feel entirely positive. Like this is where you’re meant to be, right in this moment. I am with the right people in this basement. And I’ve hardly ever hung out with Sheri, or Alex, or Hannah. Clay though, Clay’s around a little bit. I get pulled out of my trance with a poke in my back. Fiercely, I snap my head around to face Jeff. “What are you thinking about?” He whispers, touching my face with his nose. Feeling his breath against my face sends my body in a whole other place. Somehow, even in my high state of mind, I swivel myself a bit too smoothly so I’m facing him. Now I’m straddled against his body. “About how cute your’s and Clay’s friendship is,” giggling, I bury my head into his shoulder. When he moves his hands across my body I feel the enhancement of that happy little pill. They cross from my thighs, to my hips, to waist in one very swift movement. That’s all. And it feels incredible. “He’s obsessed with me,” Clay’s voice sounds distant, although he’s just over 2 metres away. All I’m focussed on is the way Jeff’s hands feel on my body. I just want him close. Closer. “You love me though Jenson,” Jeff turns his head back to mine, and they are instantly practically touching. All I can seem to do is gaze into those beautiful eyes. If I was sober, I’d be cringing at myself. But I love this guy. “What are you thinking about now?” Shivers get sent down my spine by the whispers that flowed into my ear. A small smirk appears and disappears off his face. “You,” I smile, and blush, and try not to go into a giggle mess. “Me?” I bite my lip slightly and nod. “You’re too cute,” he kisses my cheek, then on my jawline, then once on my neck. And that’s all I needed. When our eyes lock once again, and our noses touch ever so slightly, I just can’t take it no more. I’m so in love with this guy. “I think we should-” is all I can say before he hops up, takes my hands, and we start walking upstairs.

Jeff walks into his bedroom first. I follow, pushing my entire body weight onto the door for it to close. It’s not heavy or anything. When I turn I see my beautiful boyfriend sat on the bed. I watch as his eyes scan my body from top to toe. My body sways as I walk towards him, and his gaze doesn’t change. “Stop! You’re making me embarrassed!” I push him on the shoulder. Soft hands embrace my still clothed hips. “You’re so beautiful,” whispering, he guides my body onto his, into a straddling position once again. My index finger goes to his lips, shushing him. The problem with pretty boy over here is he doesn’t shut up. So even when I shush him, he continues being absolutely fucking adorable. “I could look at you all day,” he shrugs. “Oh you could?” I question, pushing his chest down so he’s with his back against the bed. His hands proceed to smooth up and down my thighs as I’m leant over his with my clothes crotch on top of his. When they connect, Jeff’s face looks almost pleasured already. “You’re literally like a work of art,” he leans up to mutter into my ear. Before I can even reply, he rotates us so he’s on top. A kiss gets placed on my cheek. Another on my jawline. And another on my neck. A shockwave of pleasure gets sent through my body as I feel his tongue press against a very nice spot. Jeff knows my body better than I do. My hands go to the back of his neck. And then I realise that this isn’t what I want. Gently lifting his head, our eyes meet once again. Then I attach my lips onto his... finally.

Sometimes foreplay is a bit long. Sometimes it feels a little dirty. Sometimes you just wanna actually have a sensual moment. I wanna make love to my boyfriend. Especially in my cloud 9 state. His tongue glides along mine effortlessly. His hands smoothing from my waist to my hips to my thighs feels better than it ever has. Euphoria x100. In motion, he slips a hand to the front of my jeans, unbuttoning them and throwing them off. I giggle against his lips as they launch onto the floor. In a minuscule moment where his lips aren’t fix onto mine, I tug at the end of his tee. My hands magnetise onto the abs on his stomach with haste. The smile on Jeff’s face grows, but he presses his lips together in attempt to contain it. “What?” I whisper. “That kinda tickles,” my face: crimson.

In another supersonic action, my thong was on the floor. As was his joggers. All that remained between us was his boxers. And within seconds they had vanished too. “I love you,” I kiss him once. “So much,” I add, placing my lips against his in a lengthy kiss. You could hear it scream with passion and desire. Excitement rushed through my body as I finally feel his penis start to go inside me. My mouth widens to inhale a slightly deep breath of air. Having Jeff this close... I just know he’s mine. The pining kiss continued until he was fully inside. Eye to eye, nose to nose, I gaze up to him and smile. I get lost in the moment. This. This is perfection. There’s no place I’d rather be. No person I’d rather be with. This is it. Before anything, he stamps my forehead with a kiss. One, two, three. “You are so enthralling,” I look at him and frown with the biggest smile. “Enthral- what?” When I begin to giggle, he actually begins to blush. “Clay taught me it. It means, like, fascinating,” he explains. Which just makes my heart melt. I stick my bottom lip out in a sad motion. “What?” He nudges his nose against mine. “You’re just so cute,” I pin my lips back against his. Deep feelings of just pining for the godly specimen on top of me oozes through between the connection of our tongues.

My mouth widens as he begins to thrust himself out, and back in. He proceeds to place wet kisses against and around my lips. The heaviness of my breath correlates with the hand sliding up and down my thigh. Every touch sends an unexplainable feeling through my body. It must be the perfect blend of adrenaline, that love hormone and whatever the fuck drug I’m on. But I can’t focus on that. I can’t focus on anything but the fact that I’m in love with this boy. I’m making love to the boy that I love. The way he squeezes my thigh and my waist. I almost completely come undone when he lifts my right leg up slightly. “Fuck,” I moan against his tender lips. My fingers spread through his hair, pulling slightly more at every inch of pleasure pumping through my body. I know that I’m completely under his spell. I like it here.

I wrap my legs around his body more and more. Even though he’s as close as he can get, I’d try anything to get him closer. With every thrust I find myself not only a moaning mess, but falling for a boy that I’ve already fallen hard for. It’s like that excitement you get when you see a boy for the first time. And I don’t know what comes over me, but I flip us around so I end up being on top. My chest: flat against his. All I can do is smile cheekily. The thing with us is, we know each other. So I begin moving up and down on his manhood. Both of his hands go to my waist, guiding me at a steady pace. “Oh my god,” he rolls his eyes back. It’s nice to know I have some sort of hold on him, as back as that probably sounds. “You’re so beautiful,” kisses are placed all over my face, but mainly on my lips. Our tongues dance to the rhythm of our own beat. “Fuck Y/N,” this does it for me. His words send my body over the edge, pushing my insides to climax. As if it was in sync, Jeff reaches his too. I ride out both of our highs.

I throw myself down next to him. “You’re incredible, you know that?” He presses my body close to his. He feels like a dream. Or maybe it’s the very slightly delay of these drugs. Everything is just... more. “I think I just fell in love with you more,” he whisper into my ear. Every breath I cherish. “You’re so fucking cute, you know that?” Is what I find to respond with. I look up to him and see him thinking. The concentration on his face was quite full on. “I don’t think we should go back to the others,” when he turns his head, our eyes immediately lock. “Whyyyyyy?” I cock my leg up onto his abdomen, turning to face him fully. “I just wanna cuddle.” The beautiful Jeff Atkins.

#13 reasons why #13rw #smut #13 reasons why jeff #jeff atkins #Jeff Atkins x reader #Jeff x reader #Jeff smut #Jeff Atkins smut

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13dollz · 3 years ago

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hello guys, every now and then i like to watch things to make sure i still hate them so today i rewatched the pussy mv for the first time since actually investing myself in this band and boy was it an experience. instead of texting all my thoughts to my best friend who doesn't care i will post them here so they dont kill me

obvi nsfw warning

in chronological order, made as i watched the video

oh my god schneider looks so bad i had to pause for 30 seconds

all these women look like sherie moon zombie

flake weirdly looks the best here- and oliver

FUCK IT UP FLAKE go for it babes

oh my god paul’s a little baby this is wrong

omg i remembered flake as being the sub boy, but ITS OLIVER HE’S 6’7 how can u do that to him??

lol oliver has a nice fake O face

he’s terrible at this tho, the acting i mean

oh my god i remembered there was actual bratwurst and sauerkraut but it was so much worse that it thought ydcgbvGHJKJSDGHVKHGJK

PUSSY ON DUTY?!?!?!?

oh no richard- it hasn’t even started and i dont like this

oh my god was that his tongue. that was disgusting and i was unprepared (if i was more prepared it wouldn’t have been disgusting probably just saying)

this is definitely not appropriate for my cat i should put him outside

RICHARD IM LOOKING (type cast mf, it works though)

is he wearing a choker in this?

flake as WHAT NOW? (that didn’t age well, i had to google what it meant, he is the main result btw. thanks google)

why is my cat in the video now

*italizied oh* im not mad at flake getting his “p*ssy” eaten?

that girl has a nice butt

wow lots of tiddies okay

what the fuck is till doing, thats not dancing homie

the german FLAG???? i forgot about that, im not german or patriotic in any way but it still feels wrong

we know you have dick dude. you wont let us forget

i audibly yelled “NO” when he did that hand thing, it was compulsive

“girl on girl action?! This is gonna blossom into chaos!"

…..is that flake?

Schneider no

i just screamed and woke my cat up

wow that was the worlds worst pause moment (i screen shotted) also ooh shiny chest in next shot

zipper shot, classic

no no no no no no no NO PUT THAT AWAY TILL

okay that was a penis

also….again not mad at Schneider getting head

thats a lot of horrible O faces in quick succession

SCHNEIDER NO (part 2)

okay then ive accidentally paused on flakes tits. joy.

were there??? no dicks?? did i watch a censored cut or did i remember it wrong?

okay well then

rewatching without pausing in case i missed something

was still not prepared for the tongue

i like (hate with every fiber of my being) when paul looks dead at the camera with no emotion

if flake has a ***** how is he ******* that lady? i dont see a strap

the screenshot: muppet lookin ass

okay thanks bye

#plz dont rb #under any circumstances #brain rot posting

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 5 years ago

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What You Deserve

A/N- This is not actually part of the story, its a unused story that I spent a couple weeks writing so I didnt have the heart to delete it although I scrapped it from the original story line. So please know that I did use some of these scenes in my rewrite.

Summary- 5.7k Curtis Evertt and Y/N. Early Years. You sit with a dying member of the train and listen to her talk about her late husband, and the idea of Soulmates crosses your mind. Do they exist?

Warnings- Death, Almost a Non Con situation. Curtis having doubts that hes good enough. Boom, got them all I think.

You sat with the older woman, Sheri for some time that day, perched on the end of her bunk, one leg folded underneath you and one dangling over the edge, her hand interlaced with your own. Sheri was dying your mother informed you that morning, and you simply couldnt let her pass off all alone. Your fingers interlaced with hers in that moment, yours young soft and supple, to her knobby jointed ones, age spots sprinkled across what felt like paper thin softness, like you press to hard it would fall apart. Every now and then a weak wet cough would spring forth, and you would lean forward to pat her mouth softly of any spittle that happened to escape. It was the least you could do for her, try to let her keep her dignity.

“Child, you shouldnt be here watching this.” Sheri would sputter, hazy eyes narrowing at you, knowing you wouldnt leave even if she was to send you away.

You shrugged, and resettled the blankets. “Where else would I go Sheri? Mom and Dad have everything all set in the medic bay, and I got lonely. Who better to keep me company?”

She snorted and coughed once more, raising her hand to wipe at her mouth before you could. “Hmmm, well Curtis comes to mind.”

You blush a bit and look away, which she grinned seeing your lovesick reaction. “Uh huh... Sheri, hes just a friend. And hes got better things to do. Like getting ready with McGregor.” Sheri rolled her eyes at you, and shifted to make herself more comfortable. “Child, ive see the way you two look at one another. I might be old, Im not blind. If you two would just admit your feelings are more then friends, then who knows. Might be the best thing you ever experience. I remember when I told Nathan how I felt. He was all stumbling over his words, spilling it as well.”

You chuckle at her memory, remembering Nathan well when you first came on the train, he was fiercly protective of his wife, and doted on Sheri, loved her with his last breath. You encourage her to speak more of her past, how Nathan and her had a whirlwind romance that ended with the two of them eloping. How when her father found out, he banned her from the house, and the first home she shared with Nathan was nothing more then a room with a bathroom, it was all they needed to start. “It got better, he was accepted to a university, and worked as a janitor at night, I was a waitress in a small off the interstate diner, along with babysitting. It was hard, but we appreciated all that we had.” Sheris eyes slipped closed and she mumbled. “Okay, Im gonna nap now, come back later Y/N, and we will talk some more.” the womans head tipped to the side, and you stayed long enough to be sure she was sleeping.

Drawing your way out, you are sure to slide the curtain closed for her privacy, and start making another round to see to other people, chat with them, just see if they need anything in general. You dont notice the wandering eyes following you, weaving through the people till you got to a quiter part of the tail end. You didnt notice, not until its to late when an arm shoots out in front of you, making you pause momentarily as it blocked you. “What the... Eric, what do you want?” You try to duck under his arm, but the mans grasp on your arm pauses you. A glance his way showed a handsome young man, blond locks curling around green eyes, that glinted coldly at you, and he firmly without any choice of your own backed you against the wall. “See youve been playing little home nurse again Y/N”

“Just helping mom and dad, can you please let go?” You try tugging your arm from his grasp and his other hand came up to your face to trace the curve, obviously not ready to loosen his hold, for whatever reason you would clam up around him, your heart fluttering and your breath quickening. Some would think it was innocent attraction. But it was more fear of what he would eventually do to you if given the chance.

“When you going to let me kiss you huh? I dont see why you keep fighting me on this.” He hovered closer, his breath washing over your face and you wrinkle your nose at it. It was hot and sour to you, you tried to pull back but there was no where else to go, so the back of your head would thump against the cold metal wall.

“Im not, I dont want to and you cant change my mind.” You wriggle once more trying to get him to stop digging into your arm. “So how about you go find one of the other girls? I know there are plenty who want to be with you.”

“To easy, I rather like the one who denies me” His voice dropped deeper, making you panic sightly. His eyes, you hated the way he would stare at you, following you from wherever he was, like you were a prize to be had. "I figured it's about time I change your mind about it though." You strain out of his touch on your face and go to push against his chest to stumble him back.

"I said no! Fuck no would I ever be with you, let alone kiss you" you snap at him, turning to leave, put distance between you two, back in a crowd. Eric was to coward to try to anything with people around. He snarled though, wrapping an arm around you.

Effectively he pinned your arms helpless and your back against your chest, falling back harder then you expected, making you helpless, his hand clasped over your mouth, effectively muffling any protests you had. "What you think your to good for someone like me sweetheart. If your good enough to get Curtis's dick wet, think you can mine as well without this much of a fight." Your eyes widened at his words. I haven't, were not, stop... Your panic is washing over you, and he manipulated your head to fall back to his shoulder, lemmegolemmegolemmego, you try twisting out. Then he pressed his face in your neck, and bit you, what started as a sloppy kiss turned into a bruising bite, screaming at the shock of pain and you try kicking him hard enough in the leg behind you to drop him. The tread of your boot slid down the inside of his leg, and he pushed you away from him to crash you against the trains wall, hard enough to bounce you off, making you groan from the harsh impact.

Erics hand whipped you around, effectively pinning you with his body. No way to leverage a kick again, and hands pinned your arms down to keep from attacking. "Fucken shit head!" Your voice raised into yelling at him, where was everyone? It was eerily quiet and no one around, he smirked at your struggles, dawning on you when you saw how turned on, felt how turned on. That foreign bulge dug into your belly. "Keep struggling Y/N, just makes me hard for you, so cute thinking you don't want this."

"Your vile Eric, like those front end pigs" nothing but disgust dripping from your tone, trying to hide your fear. But he knows, it just widens his predatory grin knowing your words were masking the fear coursing through your veins. His lips hovered so close, mocking tone as he brushed them barely against yours, as you tried tilting your face away. “Come on Y/N, just one little kiss for me. Do it and I will let you go.”

You glare at him and spit, right in the fuckers face, it runs down his eyes and nose, and you smirk at him as he starts cussing and wiping his face on his sleeve. “You little fucken cunt whore! Nasty pig think you can get away with that shit?!” His hand releases you and goes to hit you when a grasp catches his wrist, wrenching it back. Both yours and Erics eyes go wide in surprise, and you see Curtis glowering behind him, firmly twisting Erics arm hard, then harder again he snarls out. “She sure as fuck is gonna get away with it. I think she told you no”

Curtis jerked Erics arm further and a crack was followed by Eric screaming and letting you go, you slid away from his grasp, Curtis jerking him forward to take where he had you pinned before. They were evenly matched in size, but Curtis had him crushed between his body and metal, his face distorted as you glanced up. It struck you in this moment just how opposite these two men were. Curtis never once raised his voice in the time youve known him,but he had to raise above Erics squealing out in pain and anger. “When a person tells you no, It fucken mean no. You owe Y/N an apology.” He pulled Eric off the wall, and kicked at the back of his knees to drop him in front of you.

Curtis loomed over him, his arm still firmly twisted up between his shoulder blades, and growled in the mans ear. “Say it, or Im going to wrench it right off your body.”

“Im sorry!” you could see the effort it took Eric to say it, but Curtis clearly wasnt satisfied.

“AGAIN!” This time he really roared, Eric cowering a bit, and remorseful, he started again.

“Im sorry Y/N, I promise to never touch you again!” Curtis glances at you and nods that its okay, he had him firmly and you stepped forward, grasping the mans hair, and tipping his head back.

“Touch me ever again, or ANYONE on this train, your dead, do you hear me Eric? I will have no problem watching you die, either by my hand or another. Am. I. Fucking. CLEAR?”

“Yes! god yes, just let me go, it wont happen again.” Eric pleads, and you step away from Eric, and circle around to Curtis’s side. Shoving him harshly away, Eric rolled to a stand and clutched his arm, racing away as fast as he could. The coward, would probably make up some lie to cover face when he made it to your father went to reset the arm. You stood next to Curtis, still fuming. Your fear from earlier forgotten, now you were just enraged watching where the coward disappeared.

“Hey, he aint gonna try messing with you again.” Curtis let his hand rest against your shoulder, looking down at you. He couldnt help but admire you in your rage and fury. Your cheeks were flushed red, and whisps of your hair curled around your face, your eyes bright as you dragged in air sharply to blow it out. Then you turned your gaze, softening just looking at him, and could see you start to loose that edge of your temper. He did that for you.. Curtis gaze softened in return and you turn into him, sliding your arms around his waist and pressing your face in against his chest.

“Thank you for looking out for me Curtis.” his hands braced against your back and seemed to envelope you. If possible he would just hold you like that for alot longer, but you pulled away, keeping it just friends. Maybe you noticed the way his heart jumped, or the way his throat caught in his throat. And it had been that way for monthes now, seeing you in this whole other way. Since that night you fought him, trying to defy that you would ever eat again. Something shifted that day, and yet he held back from telling you, mentioning it. Honestly he didnt deserve someone like you, for all the blackness in his soul. It was better you two just stay this. Stay friends.

“Your welcome Y/N, I came to let you know Sheri, shes asking for you specifically. Your mom asked me to come get you.” Curtis was about to walk you back, but your eyes widened, and you sprinted up the aisle and out of sight before he could even think to catch up. Unsure of why you were rushing, he followed along behind, and hovered nearby, seeing glimpses of your hair as you were ducked in the bunk, and worried about intruding, he inched forward a bit enough to hear you, make sure it was all okay. Your voice was soft, almost sorrowed as you spoke.

“Im here Sheri, Im sorry I didnt come sooner...”

Unintelligible to Curtis at the moment, it only sounded older, raspier and you gave a small chuckle at whatever was said.

“I already told you, were friends, Curtis and I.” your voice seems to be teasing at this, and guilt at eavesdropping, Curtis turned away from the two of them, those last words echoing in his minds. Friends. Thats all they were, and all they would ever be. He had to accept it. You werent really his, and he needed to stop feeling responsible for you. The thought alone made him feel slightly depressed and heavy in his chest, hollow. It made him feel hollow, and he fell right in line with the others shuffling to the front to collect there daily rations.

You curled up near Sheris side, in the time you left her, she just gotten worst, and the both of you knew it really was just a matter of time now. For a while Sheri fell back into stories of the past, mixing You and Nathan up, once in a while she will talk to you like you were her husband. Her soft knobby hands grasping yours, and a smile etching on her tired face.

“Im so tired Nathan, whats it like?” She would say with her eyes closed, and you with your head slightly bowed, trying not to let your tears fall yet, you put on a smile instead and nod softly.

“Yea Sheri Dear, its nice. All love and kindness. You never hurt, your always warm and we can be together.”

“But is there Hershey Bars Nathan? And dont you lie to me, cause I always know.”

You laugh slightly at it, barely remembering them yourself, but you do your best. “Of course, every day I will get you all the chocolate you want.”

Sheri hums as if happy, and her eyes open, looking up at you. “Oh child you dont have to stay.” Back to herself again, she folded her hands around yours and patted them softly. “Thank you for sitting with me, Nathan told me hes waiting for me, and Im ready to go... Im ready to see him again, My Nathan.” She slowed her movements and drifted off to sleep. At some point your mother checks in on you. “Want me to sit with her and you go get some sleep?”

A gentle shake of your head and smile, youve done this before... the silent wait, the death watch. “No, its okay. I will see you in the morning.” Your mother nods with understanding, life on the train, these past 10 years made you grow up faster then you should. It did for all of you.

You sat there with her, refusing to leave this time, still holding her hand, that was limp and warm in your own, tracing over her knuckles and along the top of her hand, aged, weathered. Nothing really last forever, and in these thoughts Sheri drifted away, in her sleep. Just as she wanted.

When you felt her just, become a body once more, you let your tears run free now, falling in the womans blankets, while you readjust her to cover her completely, shifting to a stand a bit weak legged from the hours you were there. You went to find your mother, but see shes sleeping, both your parents are. Looking up and down the aisle, you really dont want to be alone, not now. Not after having to say goodbye. It was moments like these you missed your little brother, having someone to hold in your arms and remember all the good memories through your sorrow.

Without even thinking about it, you wander, and soon your standing in front of a bunk youve never been into, but you knew who was there. You could hear him snore softly, and shift in his sleep. A soft rustle of his coat, a shadow in the darkness. Your heart catches, and it aches. It aches for your friend, for how excited she was to see her husband again. How you dont know if she really was though. “Curtis?” Your voice is soft, your not even sure you said it. But within seconds he sleepily stuck his head out, and hand wiping at his eyes and brows coming together in concern. “Y/N? Whats wrong? Are you okay?”

You nod softly and maybe you shouldnt, it was such an odd request but it bubbles right out of your throat into words. “I dont... I dont want to be alone, please?” Your gaze lifts and it takes him a few seconds to register what your asking for, when it clicks, he doesnt even hesitate, his hand reaching out to grasp yours and help you up. Maybe he should send you home, send you back. But your looking so fragile in the dark, alone.

When you settled in, Curtis felt the bunk warm up between you two, and you laid curled up near his side, not touching , but nearby. Your breathing was fast paced and uneasy. Nervous... Fuck shes nervous. He turned to his side, and reached out to grasp your chin lightly to look up at him, since you had your face tucked down. “Y/N, want to tell me whats going on?” Curtis figured it was best to get to the bottom of what was bothering you, why you came to seek him like this.

“Do you believe in soulmates and such Curtis?” You start to loosen up, folding your hands under your head as you roll to your side as well, looking back at him. Curtis brow furrowed a bit at the very odd question from you, and gave a light shrug at it. “Im not entirely sure Y/N, I never thought about it honestly. My folks werent exactly the most loving towards each other, kinda like... “ He tried to think of how to compare them to that you might remember. “Al and Peggy Bundy from that comedy. I dont know if you would even know what Im talking about. But anyways, always kinda mean to one another, but they just stayed together. Soulmates? I dont know if they exist. Why?”

You vaguely recalled what he was talk about, the theme song playing a bit through your mind, you remembered your dad watching it, but you never paid attention to what he was watching. “Yea I know what your talking about Curtis. I was sitting with Sheri during her last bit, and she thought I was her husband. It just... she talked to him like they hadnt missed a beat, although its been years. I did my best to give her answers for him. I just, think I witnessed what that would be.” Curtis reached out and wrapped you up in his arms, understanding now that you were saying Sheri was gone. Doing that sit was never easy. Clearly this one effected you. But certainly not in the way he fully expected.

You let him pull you in close, twisting to lean in against his chest while he held you, his hand was rubbing up and down your back in a comforting manner. It lulled you to close your eyes, and after a few moments, you heard him speak. A rumble in his chest making you stir to look up at him. At this angle, you couldnt see his eyes. “Before this, did you believe in that notion? Soul mates, think they could find each other in a life like this?” Curtis question made you pull up to sit next to him, so you could properly see him. See if he was teasing you, although he didnt have that tone he did when he was, or if he was being serious in his question. Crystal blue eyes stared up at you, with nothing but seriousness, and maybe hope?

You studied Curtis for a few moments, and as sometimes happened to you, your heart seemed to speed just a bit, and you smiled at him softly, nodding. “I do Curtis, call me a hopeless romantic but we have to have hope right? Why not hope that we can find something so complete in even this hell.” You shrug and tip your head against your shoulder in that optimistic way before dropping your shrug. It was then he pushed up to sit as well, and he pulled at his lip with a drag of his teeth, seeming to think. You waited him out, your hands folding in your laps and looking at him wide eyed.

Why do you look at him like that. His resolve weakening. You were so innocent looking up at him, patient as always for him to find the words, for him to decide, for him to get rid of that guilt that he doesnt deserve you in a way more then this. You were probably the reason he hasnt done anything to reckless and gotten himself killed. Fuck it Curtis... Resolve sliding over his face and his hands cupped the sides of your face, so soft under his touch, just as he knew you would be. Soft for him, he only wanted you to ever be soft for him like this, wanting to feel you press against him, the warmth of your breath whispering into his ear that you needed him. How many times had he thought this, wanted this. And now, you were staring up at him just waiting for him to tell you all this.

“Can I kiss you Y/N?” He asked, ready to pull back the moment you looked appalled by his request, and you never utter those words, nothing changes but a quickening of your breath, and a nervous lick of your lips. Curtis wonders, have you ever been asked before? He was patient, he could wait, would wait till your ready. Its something you never admitted to yourself, but yes... you really wanted that kiss. A dip of your head and a soft “Yes” was given.

Thumbs circled over her cheekbones, and you held your breath, waiting with anticipation. His features grew soft looking at you, raking over your face for a moment, searching for a no from you before he lowered his head and pressed his lips to yours, they were softer then you been expecting, and a bit lost in what to do. But Curtis started a light nibble, a press of his tongue made you gasp in surprise. A tentative touch of his tongue against your own, and you finally started to relax into it, exploring in your own way. Although Curtis controlled your first kiss, you felt free, a rush of your senses making you pull in closer, your hands sliding up his chest and around the back of his neck.

Your fingers buried into the back of his shirt, and his own hands slid off your face, and down to your hips to pull you in closer, flushing you into his chest, and a rumbling moan crept from him. You were everything he knew you would be and more. Already it was rushing to his head, feeding a deep seated hunger he had been ignoring for the past ten years since arriving on the train. If he wasnt careful, he was going to do something he might regret, and pulled away, leaving you stunned, and giving a whimper at the loss of his lips against yours. How flushed you looked, shocked, even dare he say a hint of pleasure dazing your eyes. Your lips were swollen from his kiss, and that made him pleased he could make you look like this, just a simple kiss.

Staring at one another, it was apparent that there was no going back now, no more just best friends. You were still slightly in a daze and Curtis laid back down, his hand circling your arm to tug you to join him. “We should get some sleep.” in which you stretched out next to him. You wanted to say something, but didnt know what. The kiss, unlike anything youve ever experienced and in the dark, your fingers moved to touch your lips, smiling at the memory of it now. The feelings you had for him, had been there a long time, and until now, you never let yourself believe it was a true possibility.

Curtis on the other hand, well he was cursing himself out for what he just done. You were far to good for him and he should have known better then that. He didnt deserve you, not your honey sweet kisses he just got lost in, or the way you were so sweetly curled up next to him, trying not to intrude. Oh he was fucked... completely fucked. Why did he have to kiss you? He groaned inwards, waiting, just waiting for you to come to your senses. He was a baby murderer, it would happen soon, he was sure. You would remember what he done, and push him away, shut yourself off from him, and then in that moment, Curtis would be all alone on the train. Long after you fallen asleep, Curtis laid wide awake with his thoughts poisoning his mind.

That next day he had disappeared before you could talk to him, and kept expecting to see him, but you never did. Which was odd, cause he had a habit of finding you at various points in passing. Only place he could be was Gilliams, and that alone made you worry. Not that Gilliam was necessarily bad, but people plotted with him, talks of trying to escape was always so sush around the man, like a man of many secrets. You scolded yourself at your thoughts, knowing Gilliam was a good man. Hes helped all of you so many times, was the leader of your people. If anyone knew you felt this way, your throat closed at the idea of what could happen to you.

You were soon distracted by a 5 year old named Joey. “Hey, Its almost time, right Y/N?” he said excitedly as he ducked into the medic bay as if he owned the place, pulling on your coat and looking up with a glimmer of hope passing his face, you wink down at him, and take care of the last of the supplies. Whatever was going on with Curtis was going to have to wait. And you pushed the thoughts from your mind.

“Of course, whenever Minister Mason announces that we are passing over bridge, that means its a whole new year, and every new years what do we get?” tapping your finger on your chin, you pretend to ponder. “Oh what is it. They are white, and inside is all that yummy goodness. Hmmmm.... Frog eggs? No way to slimey! maybe a dog egg? Wait dogs dont lay eggs... Maybe a... “ at this point Joey is just about bouncing excitedly, finally bursting out.

“Chicken? Right Y/N Chicken Eggs?! I think they lay eggs.” a slightly confused look crossed his face. “Im not even sure what a chicken is.”

“Oooh! Thats what they are. And chickens run around on two legs, flap there wings and are big fluffy butts.” You cross your eyes at Joey and mimic flapping your arms, making him laugh.

“Like Miz Scarlett?” He asks, and he says it so innocently, you have a hard time not laughing, pressing a finger against his lips. “No no, she certainly doesnt look like a chicken.” Although she did that one time her nice feather down coat split down the back and feathers scattered through the tail end. You all still found the occasional feather fluttering through the aisle. Plus the woman had the tendency to be a bit over dramatic, flailing her arms around whenever she had to prove a point. Joey always had been an observant kid.

The two of you chatted about what else New Years brought, while heading out into the aisle to return him back to his mother. “were gonna have a cele-celebratition?” You chuckle and repeat the word properly. “Celebration, and it will be something like that yes.” It wasnt much, usually just a bunch of people sitting around the gate, waiting for there only treat Wilford ever gave them on the train. But it always turned into a good time, people sharing stories, and once in a while a game or two was played. “Gilliam is gonna tell us right?” Joey asks, now looking concerned.

Your brows come together, and nod, giving his little hand a squeeze. “Of course Buddy, were not gonna miss out on the best day ever, right? I will come make sure your there with everyone else.” You smile at him to assure, and he pulls up, leaping into a lower bunk to crawl over to his mom. “Mom! Y/N said its almost new years, and we get chicken eggs and maybe we get to hear stories and... “ he ended up running out of air and took a deep breath. “and Miz Scarlett doesnt look like a chicken.” You end up covering your mouth,while his mom puts him on her lap and shakes her head.

“Now Joey, you cant be telling anyone they look like chickens! Jeeze child, what am I going to do with you?” She tickled his side and he went sprawling across the bed, and rolled back up, the excitement tinging his face. “I wont, I wont... I promise!” The PA systems crackles, and you put your finger up to your lip to sush Joey, all of you tipping your head to listen. Minister Masons nasal voice crackled and stated.

“We just passed the bridge, and another year on Wilfords Miracle Train. How lucky we have all been to be here for this miraculous day. Mr.Wilford is providing everyone a treat to celebrate, be sure to come up to the front in a ORDERLY fashion, and be sure to thank him for his bountiful grace hes bestowed upon us.”

You roll your eyes to yourself for the fucking dramatics, but you tilt your head and sound excited for Joey. “Come on Kiddo! I bet hes got something real good for us.” The child looks to his mother for permission and she nods, sending him flying out of the bunk to grasp your hand and practically tugging you down the aisle, since its quite a walk for his little legs, he wanted to hurry. “Slow down Joey, we will get there” You laugh, and then Curtis sweeps past you and hauls the kid up in his arms, grinning at you as he turned around, and walked backwards, Joey, wrapping his little arm around his neck. “We got places to be, Dont We Joe?” The little boy gave a very serious nod and looked down to Curtis. “Yes sir we do.”

“Okay, okay... Im coming!” You pull up alongside Curtis with a sigh like they were being ridiculous, and once they were in sight of the front, Joey started wriggling to get down. “Put me down Curits, I want to go get in line!” in which hes swung down and as soon as his feet hit the grate, he bolts away from the two of you. The both of you hang back while others crowd to form a line. You let yourself lean against his shoulder and look up to catch his attention. “Feels like youve been hiding on me Curtis.”

“No, just been busy.” He glances at you and away, watching to make sure Joey doesnt get lost in the mayhem. Liar, hes always been a bad liar. You see right through it, and you dip around to stand in front of him. “Say that again Curtis, and mean it this time.” Your mouth curls up in a grin, and he growls a bit under his breath that he had been caught.

“Listen, yesterday...” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck and looking down. “I took advantage and I shouldnt have.”

“Curtis Everett, when have I ever done anything I didnt want to do?” You fold your arms over your chest and shake your head.

“Well...”

“That doesnt count and you know it.” Giving him a silent warning and he snapped his jaw shut. You step in closer and take a hold of his jacket, fiddling your fingers in it. “Listen to me closely, You didnt take advantage, okay, and Im not going anywhere. It wasnt bad, right?”

His eyes widened and a shake of his head to get rid of the notion, he couldnt help but touch you again, his hands moving along your arms, up to cup your face again. “Absolutely not, it was... the best kiss ive ever had.” his face softened when he said it out loud.

A slight blush crept in your cheeks, but to hear him say that, just made you more bold, knowing you werent wrong. You were ready for this moment, and never thought it was possible. “Then why do you fight it?” You asked as you slid up against him, and move to your toes to reach him, cupping the back of his neck, you bring him down to meet you, and more confident this time, you kissed him slowly. This one was yours, and the people started cheering around them at the announcement of the new year. But for Curtis, his world narrowed to the woman in his arms, nothing else existed or mattered for him. You fit in his hold, like you were meant to be. the soulmates questioned flashed through his mind and then you moaned into his mouth, and all thoughts went away for good.

He knew in that moment, there wasnt going to ever be anyone else. He might not deserve someone like you, but he wasnt going to let you go.

#curtis everett #curtis everett x y/n #snowpiercer #kinda some non con #death #trauma #chris evans

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yoruzumy0 · 4 years ago

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A slip of the tangue

As everyone is doing the slap thing with their oc I decided to do the same but as a very short story!

As everyone was discussing what to do after the tall people group failed, a young lady creeped out of Mr. S's shop. The weird arrangement of students attracting her attention. She slowly inched closer, the only one noticing her being Lilia. The two exchanged a small nod as a salute and the conversation progressed. Soon enough, the conversation came to an end, but it was too late, Sherley's interest already appeared.

Right before the group started moving, she spoke, startling the students and the principal: "I will join in too!"

"Oh, It's just you Miss. Klein!" Spoke Crowley with a shaky voice, addressing more to himself rather than to the girl.

"I'm afraid you cannot, as you can clearly see, you are a girl, and the Bride is looking for a prince!" He continued his shaky voice disappearing.

The girl chuckled and answered, "Well, if she's getting married, then she must need a bridesmaid!"

"Oh my! Shery-chan must want to save Leona-kun!" Cater interrupted, causing chatter to spurt among the group, but the girl started laughing wholeheartedly, surprising everyone.

"Oh please, no one wants to save that lazy bum! I just want to see his slapped face!" She said, amusement being clear in her voice. This caused a short silence that was soon followed by a "Fair enough" from the boys, said in unison.

The group accepted the girl and went to the cantine.

As they entered the now decorated place that was once where they would spend their lunch break, the Ghost girl turned her attention to them while a struggling Idia was screaming in the background relieved.

The slapping began and yet, the Bride didn't notice the girl that was enjoying herself while poking fun at the slapped and now paralyzed boys. When Eliza was about to approach Lilia she finally noticed the girl.

"You there, the girl with striped hair, why are you here? I wish for a prince, not a princess! Or do you perhaps have other plans?"

"I just could contain my excitement when I heard my dear friend, Idia there, was getting married! And besides that, unfortunately, I am also stuck between those ungentlemanly boys, and so, I came to offer myself as your future bridesmaid!" She spoke with honeyed words.

"Oh my~ I am flattered that you came all this way but I already have enough bridesmaids!" The ghost spoke, almost like playing a role.

"Well shit." Sherley slipped, causing the rest of the boys to face slap mentally.

Eliza's facade faded and, as she became angry, slapped Sherley across the face.

"You insolent girl! What kind of lady swears! Hmpf! You don't have any right to be my bridesmaid!" Eliza said as she carried on, leaving a red-faced Sherley behind, angry that her plan didn't work.

#twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #cater diamond #leona kingscholar #crowley #twisted wonderland eliza #eliza #ghost marriage

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shepherds-of-haven · 1 year ago

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if the shepherds survive (please survive!) to an older age, how do they feel when they spot their first few gray hairs?

Blade: I think at first he wouldn't register/care about it too much, but then one day his knee would creak more than usual and he'd suddenly be like, "❗️" ...But it'd be a momentary blip, he doesn't care about the appearances part of it at all but the thought of aging to the point of having to retire from active duty is so galling that his brain just goes "no" and he carries on stubbornly as if nothing had happened...

Trouble: he'd go running to MC, like "!! I'm turning into a silver fox... Do you find me more or less attractive now" As long as MC isn't bothered by it, he isn't, either! He'll turn it into a rueful joke and take it with good grace soon enough!

Tallys: not applicable really, I don't think Elves get gray hairs until they're like insanely old, if at all... and at that point, she's past the point of worrying about anything like that 😂

Shery: at first she would just sort of brush it off, but after a few days the existential dread would start to set in, like, "oh my god... am I old?? Is it happening already?? 😭😭" Basically it would be silent panic that no one would ever know about, followed by resigned acceptance, lol

Riel: I'm going to be real, he spotted his first gray hair when he was like 17, so he just doesn't acknowledge it anymore... (outside of plucking the pesky little strand out). It's going to be a bad time when they become so numerous that he can't pluck them out anymore, though! (Not really. I imagine he'll age with indefatigable grace)

Chase: he'll be glib about it! He'd probably point to his first cluster and tell MC: "see these? you did this. this is your fault. if you can't love me because I'm an old geezer now, you have only yourself to blame"

Red: ".....ah." Frankly, he's surprised he didn't get them sooner, considering all of the bullshit he gets put through/does to himself

Ayla: "ugh, wtf?" staring at the end of her braid like it briefly transformed into a snake's head and she's waiting for it to do it again... She'd probably be in a low-key bad mood for a few days without telling anyone why, and then would probably resign herself/accept it once the next big thing to make her forget about it came along!

Briony: wailing, tears, outright screaming: "noooooooooooooooooo!!! 😭😭😭" She'd be quite morose and melodramatic for a day or so and have an aging crisis, melting on the floor like "am I growing old? will I soon be too old to do [x youthful thing]? Will you still love me when I'm a hag?" 🥺🫠

Lavinet: brisk and smiling denial. she didn't see anything, and neither did you. :) a gray hair? on her head? not since the earl of murtaghon's old cat jumped on her shoulder at his birthday party! what do you mean, you see it right there? :) it must be a trick of the light... 🔫 :)

Halek: Hunters don't get gray hair!

#Shepherds of Haven #silly #gray hair #gray hairs #aging #hair #all characters

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j-elaine-hyde · 5 years ago

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Pablo En Français

Pablo Schreiber / Reader 💗

(Not the update you wanted or needed, but a quick little taste for fun)

You and your work teammate had finally taken a break from work. You had decided to take advantage of the cheap tickets and fly to France.

You were two days into a two week long trip. You were enjoying the picturesque scenery of Provence as you crossed the cobblestone street. You started walking downhill, catching up to your friend, who was two blocks away shopping in a street stall. Without paying attention, you stepped forward to cross the street when a pair of giant arms wrapped around you pulling you back. Thanks to these giant arms you narrowly escaped being hit by a truck that came careening around the corner.

You let out a small scream as it rushed passed in front of your face, the wind from it blowing your hair over your eyes. You were shaking and breathing heavily, slowly processing what had just happened when the giant arms spun you around.

His massive hand swept the hair off of your face, cradling your chin, lifting it so he could look into your eyes, as his other arm was wrapped around your waist holding you upright. You most certainly would have collapsed had he not held on to you.

“Are you ok?” His hazel green eyes searched yours. They were all you could focus on before tightly closing your eyes.

“Hey baby...you really are out of it...” he led you away from the corner, bringing you to sit on his lap on the stairs of an apartment building immediately behind you.

You started blinking and trying to focus, again his eyes drew you in.

“Thank you.” You unintelligibly stammered.

“What?” He asked, unsure of what you had said.

“Thank you. You saved me.” You flung your arms around his neck.

“Of course. I couldn’t let a beautiful woman like you become roadkill.” He laughed softly into your hair.

You felt your body get hot. There was a fire building and it spread quickly. You released your arms, unconsciously settling back into his lap. Your eyes immediately locking with his, your face getting hotter before very obviously blushing.

As soon as you realized who he was your hands flew to your face, covering your shocked surprise and dropped jaw. You squeaked simultaneously, eyes wide in disbelief.

He laughed a little and looked away blushing before looking back at you.

“Pablo!” Was the only thing you could say.

“Guilty... what’s your name?” His warm smile melting me.

“Y/n.”

He slowly slid his hand behind your neck. Your heart was pounding out of your chest. He pulled you towards him as he leaned in, kissing you. Your arms flew back around his neck, passionately grasping onto him. You lost track of how long you sat there making out.

“Y/n?” Your teammate was clearly confused and a little concerned to find you in the arms of a giant stranger, sitting essentially on a street corner, making out. “Y/N!!” She shouted.

You had a hard time pulling away from Pablo’s gorgeous face, but unfortunately somehow managed to.

“Yea?” You turned around to see her wide eyed staring at you, hands on her hips. “Hi...” you sheepishly said suddenly realizing the scene she walked up to.

“I see you made a friend...” she looked at you with a smirk.

“Sheri... this is Pablo Schreiber... he just saved my life.” You looked back at Pablo as you said this.

“And I’d do it again...any time. Maybe I should just go everywhere with you to keep you safe.”

You and Pablo locked eyes again, and the unequivocal charge between you continued to grow. You bit your lip as you stared at his handsome face, trying to make sense of the undeniable connection between you.

You couldn’t stand it any longer, you lunged. You once again wrapped your arms around his neck as we began kissing. His arms wrapped around you, one hand clutching your back, one on the back of your head holding you close.

Sheri stood there, phone out, googling who Pablo was.

“Ohhhh! THAT guy. Oh my god...You love him!” Sheri blurted.

His smile momentarily slowing your kiss. “You love me, huh?” He nudged the tip of your nose with his.

“Now more than ever.” You smiled, leaning back in for more.

A little old woman walked by shaking her head at the scene.

“Ummm guys... we’re getting mean looks from little old ladies. Why don’t we go back to the house and you guys can do this, there.”

You smirked and pulled back from Pablo, staring at his gorgeous face, your fingers still tracing around the back of his head and neck.

“Marry me?” He asked.

“What?!” You shook your head trying to understand what he had just said.

“Marry me. Be mine. I don’t know what it is. You’re still on my lap and I already want more of you. I want to feel this way for the rest of my life. You caught my eye blocks back. I just started following you. I don’t know why. I’m just drawn to you. I need you. Marry me.” He was serious. What he said brought happy tears to your eyes. “Say yes baby... please Y/n.”

You bit your lip harder this time, it was a small attempt at “pinching yourself” to make sure this was real.

“Am I dead? Sheri? Did I die?” You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his.

“Nope. That just happened. Say...yes?! I guess...” Sheri was just as shocked as you were.

You started nodding your head, “Yes?”

He leaned in kissing you. “Baby I know this is crazy, but I’ve never felt this way in my life. I’ve never wanted anyone or anything more than I want you.”

#pablo schreiber #romance #fanfic #fiction #fanfiction

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gothbeech · 4 years ago

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Killer Crit: The Devils Rejects

There’s nothing I love more than a gory cult classic than a gory cult classic sequel. First of all i would like to begin with saying if you haven’t seen “House of a 1000 Corpses”, I recommend that you get off your ass and do so just for extra backstory on some characters plus it’s just a bad-ass film. Anyways The Devils Rejects (Directed by the beautifully twisted mind of rock star Rob Zombie) was always one of those movies you were not allowed to watch as a child, but after watching the opening a couple scenes of this movie you can tell why. Following the story of Otis Firefly, Captain Spaulding & Baby Firefly the iconic Scream Queen (Played by Zombie’s Wife, Sheri Moon Zombie) after a morning raid at the firefly house, which provided a violent shoot-out opening scene that prepares you for the comedic raunchy gore you’re about to witness. Overall this sequel keeps the crazy and adds more of the funny murderous hillbilly you never asked for.

#horror movies #film review #the devils rejects #rob zombie #movie review #sheri moon zombie #captain spaulding #baby firefly #KillerCrit

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erosjock · 4 years ago

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27 Ways to Get Over a Breakup, Like, Right Now

Going through a breakup is low-key the best time to rebrand yourself. You can be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to do, and try anything you want to try without having to consider anyone but yourself.

But considering breakups = losing someone who was consistently in your life, it can be easy to dwell on the past instead of looking at what your future self can bring to the table. Completely understandable.

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So to help you cope with all things breakup (since, hi, your future best self is waiting), we’ve sourced a bunch of tangible, practical ways you can actually get over someone according to experts who want to help. Because yes, sometimes buying yourself flowers at the grocery store is a lil start.

Sex Expert Reacts to Iconic Sex Scenes on RIOT TV

How You Get Over a Breakup, by Zodiac Sign

1. Shower daily. I know this seems small, but trust, it makes all the difference. “Prioritizing your hygiene and taking pride in how you look can often make you feel better inside,” says licensed clinical psychologist Kristie Norwood. So get yourself a morning and nighttime routine that requires a rinse in the shower. After all, shower thoughts are the best kind of thoughts, and it might be super therapeutic. Small wins are the best wins.

2. Create a vision board. Yup, it’s time to paint a badass picture of what your future is about to look like. (Time to get on that manifesting kick). “After breakups, it’s important to figure out what your life will look like without the relationship as it was,” says Norwood. So pick up some magazines—yes, full permission to grab some Cosmos— and cut out images that you put into art your life goals and desires.

3. Treat yourself to a new sex toy. Luckily for you, vibrators come completely drama-free (and in some cases, are better than the real deal). “Cleanse yourself of any negative energy through an orgasm,” says sex educator Yael Rosenstock Gonzalez. An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away (...that’s the saying, right?).

4. Go to therapy It’s time to make an appointment for therapy, suggests licensed clinical social worker Amalia Miralrío. Especially considering an unbiased perspective could offer you insight that you weren’t able to process yourself. Get started with some free options here.

Benefits of the No Contact Rule Post-Breakup

5. Buy yourself a big bouquet of pink roses. Put them in a vase, water them, and wait for them to wilt. When it’s time to throw them out, check in with your feelings. Guess what? By the time those roses die, you’ll already feel better. Then, keep buying yourself roses, recommends Veronica Yip, a San Diego resident who swears by this hack.

6. Visit a rage room. It’s…a legit thing. “Get out all your anger and smash objects to your heart’s content,” recommends Lauren Cook, who holds a master’s in marriage and family therapy.

7. Go on that vacation you’ve been dying to—even if it’s by yourself. “Getting away to an exotic location or somewhere peaceful is a potent source of distraction,” says therapist Rev. Sheri Heller. What’s better than lounging beachside with a good book, frozen drank, and the ocean waves? Talk about self-care.

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8. Rearrange your home. Get rid of all those bad memories. “A new look creates space for new memories. Out with the old, inviting the new,” recommends Krysta Monet creator and founder of The Feminine Truth.

9. Purge your relationship junk drawer. Yes, this includes that ticket stub you’ve kept from your first date. “You don’t need the reminders of a relationship that is no longer,” says Robyn Koenig, professional dating coach and CEO at Rare Find.

How Long It Actually Takes to Get Over a Breakup

10. Write hate mail to your ex. But don’t actually send it (and tell your sister not to either, à la Lara Jean). “The caveat is not to mail the letter but to do a ceremonial burning to get rid of the toxic energy,” recommends Samantha Gregory, author of No More Crumbs: How to Stop Dating for Crumbs and Get the Cake You Finally Deserve.

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11. Say yes to everything. “This is especially useful if you’ve been in a long-term relationship where you’ve compromised and negotiated what you ate, where you went, what you watched, and who you socialized with,” says Trish McDermott, CEO of Meetopolis Dating. “Who are you and what makes just *you* happy? Now is the time to find out.”

12. Eat alone. Whether you take yourself out to your favorite Thai place or make a home-cooked dinner, sit at the table and eat in silence. “Becoming comfortable with newly found silence is part of the recovery process,” says Megan Cannon, owner of Back to Balance Counseling.

13. Sign up for a boxing class—or any other type of fighting class. “Sometimes you need to find an outlet to divert the negative energies you get after a breakup,” says Celia Schweyer, dating and relationship expert at DatingScout. Trust, punching the eff out of something will *def* help with this added stress.

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14. Block them from your Instagram/Snapchat. If the temptation to see if they’ve been paying attention to your Stories is too much, just block them. This way, when you do start to get out there and share your day-to-day activities again, you’ll know there’s zero part of you that’s performatively “acting over it” in the hopes your ex will see it.

15. Don’t shit-talk your ex too much. Sure, it feels good to trash-talk your ex with your besties, and hearing that you were better than them from the start feels like a drug, but don’t rely on it. Hearing your friends bring down someone who made you feel shitty feels like it should be justified in the grand karmic scheme of things, but your health and happiness need not be contingent on someone else’s pain and suffering.

16. Don’t immediately suggest to “stay friends”—and if they do, tell them you need to think about it. This is an impulse because you don’t want to seem like you care too much about the breakup. Because you’re so chill. You’re so chill that your heart isn’t beating. Aaand, you’re dead. But truthfully, during this stilted, awkward breaking-up period, it’s hard to tell whether you’ll be able to be friends. Generally, one person wants to be friends and the other wants to be more. Gotta work that shit out before it can be a healthy friendship…if it ever can be. You’re not admitting defeat by not staying friends with them.

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