#more like our shared fandom is the first one in which I'm comfortable enough to actually write fanfiction

[lotus-ignis]

The worst part is that this fic is for someone that I would like to consider my friend (not that it takes much for me to consider someone my friend) and I don't want to accidentally massacre their favourite characters!

[jevilowo]

MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS TF2 SHIPS

For funsies

SCIENCE PARTY:

fun ship, but they're GodComplex4GodComplex and I fear that would only end in disaster

TOASTED SANDVICH:

if there is one heavypyro fan on this stupid baka planet it is me. shout out to menacing quiet individuals who like violence but have a soft side fr.

BLOODY SUIT:

literally The Original toxic yaoi rivals to lovers red blue combo ship. speeding bullet and napoleon complex fans WISH they had our shared update and corresponding voice lines

BATTING HELMET: (scout n solly)

i just think it's really funny trust me on this one guys. have you seen them in the fourth comic it's a constant "yes, and" bit between the two of them. soldier's love language is choking people out.

HIT AND A MISS: (scout n pauling)

like most ms pauling ships, i'm only into it if scout's a cool lesbian. which he is not most of the time.

RED OKTOBERFEST:

AAAAAAAAAAAAA literally the ship of all time save me heavymedic save me. if they don't smooch in the next comic i will become jay pinkerton's personal sleep paralysis demon.

SPEEDING BULLET:

my feelings on it are Complicated. twas my first love (otp) in this fandom, but the overabundance of twinky uwu scout and daddy dom snoipah has built up some resentment on my part. call me back when people stop making up imaginary life problems for sniper to comfort scout over.

NAPOLEON COMPLEX: (Spy n Engie)

literally just rarjack if they were boys and not horses to me and i'm not even an mlp fan. it's alright, just doesn't really stick out to me.

SPYMA:

LITERALLY THE POWERCOUPLE EVER TRULY A LOVE STORY FOR THE AGES or at least the version that exists in my head is. i have so much made up spyma lore it's crazyyy. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with sniper it's quickly becoming my favourite genre of fanart (i have seen at maximum three)

SUPPORT SANDWICH: (spy n sniper n medic)

in my opinion, it is healthy for everyone to have at least one ship they just like bc they think it's hot. for me, that is support sandwich. not much else to say on that the fics are all banging go look them up.

SNIDOS: (sniper n GLaDOS)

hell yeah.

ADMINPAULING:

i used to like it a lot, but timelining implies ms pauling's been working for helen since her mid teens at the latest so i no longer like it. 4chan leaks my beloathed pleaseee don't make them kiss i think it would kill me in a bad way

URINE SAMPLE: (medic n sniper)

there's a lot of werewolf and vampire stuff for these two on ao3 which is pretty fun. and i'm way more likely to find sniper angst under the medicsniper tag than sb and bs which is always a plus.

FRENCH TOAST: (spyro)

have you seen that one animation where pyro gives birth to spy's child and gordon freeman is there at one point. yeahhhh. the ship's pretty cute tho spy would be sooo soft for pyro they'd light his cigarettes for him.

BOOTS AND BOMBS:

THE FORBIDDEN RED/BLU ROMANCE GOES CRAZY I ADORE IT. same team bnb is pretty banging too. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with zhanna.

SPYPAULING:

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. imagine. spy x pauling. yuri. that will be all.

SWORDVAN:

SWORDVAN MY LOVE!!! idk what it is about demo and sniper together but HELL YEAH TOP 5 SHIPS FR FR. shout out to the guy still writing monsterous intent, they're like single handedly carrying the swordvandom.

TEXAS TOAST:

I used to think "this is cute" but then my friend got really really into it and that hyped me up into "THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHIPS OF ALL TIME" territory. bonus points if they're yuri! shout out to Technicolor California, my current favourite fanfic of all time (it overtook running blind in the interal rankings). oh yeah insert mandatory "no hate to engie and pyro father son dynamic preferers" message here lol.

Ok that's enough I will cover more at some point maybe.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi there!

I had some questions (or statements I wanted to discuss I’m not sure what to call them) because I genuinely don’t know much about the subject. I’m on anon right now but I may comment on my own account later. Also don’t feel obligated to answer if this makes you uncomfortable.

So I was wondering if you could articulate any thoughts on proshipping in the kotlc fandom? I wanted to know your thoughts as from my understanding (and please correct me if I’m wrong) you see it pretty positively, and I wanted to better understand the ‘issue’ (idk what to call it)

Anyways I thought I should include what I already know.

So I understand that when people participate in proshipping it does not reflect their actual worldview.

I understand that it is fictional and really doesn’t affect real life.

I think my issue with proshipping has to do specifically with it happening in the kotlc fandom, and this has to do with Keeper of the Lost Cities being a kids series. My problem isn’t specifically with that, but mostly with the amount of “kids” participating in our fandom space (not actual kids like ten year olds but from my understanding we have an array of people from ages 13-16 who I would consider pretty young)

I just worry about when people make posts about, for example, one of the main cast and an adult in the series, because the Keeper casts ages may closely reflect the actual ages of people in the fandom, we’re creating an unsafe environment and these posts may affect what these ‘kids’ think is okay in real life or for themselves.

Anyways, I wanted to share my thoughts but I really mean it when I say I want to hear your thoughts, I don’t think I know enough about the ‘issue’, especially from the other perspective.

(Also, this isn’t really about your call out post about call out posts, I’ve just seen you liking some pro shipper stuff so I thought you might be interested in that sort of thing)

Hi! Thank you for being respectful about this. First, I avoid labels like "anti" or "proship," as they tend to create an unhelpful us vs. them dichotomy. Especially when, like these terms, they have strong associations and generate strong reactions upfront. It's not, in my opinion, conducive to productive conversation

I believe that all fiction, including disgusting, depraved, uncomfortable fiction, should be allowed to exist without restriction. Whether that's incestuous, predatory, or otherwise.

We don't have to read/watch it. We don't have to like it. Or be comfortable with it. But it needs to be allowed to exist.

It's existence does not harm us (the most that happens is we realize, we are uncomfortable, and then we stop watching/reading/etc. and move on), and there is no way to reliably moderate fiction. It will always be arbitrary, and those arbitrary distinctions will always be enforced by the privileged with power, who will use it to create their narrative and silence others.

The issue many people get stuck on, like you, is about children. Now I'm not saying this is what you're doing, but I'd like to bring up the Think Of The Children logical fallacy. It's a more recent one, so it's less known, and I'm just linking the wikipedia.

What it does is switch to emotional thinking, creating this idea of these helpless little things in danger we need to protect. It creates moral panic, because what are you gonna do? Argue against the children? You monster! It can shut things down.

And while children are young and still learning and need guidance, they're also people. They have their own thoughts, reactions, and choices. They use their childhood to practice that, which is aided by fiction. Fiction is a practice run for the real thing; it can be that learning and guidance

Children take what they see in fiction, where no real people are hurt or in these scary situations, and react. They form opinions, determine what they think is right or wrong, and they have more room for error. For example, it is safer for them to misjudge an actually malicious adult in a story, learn what the warning signs were, and be more cautious going forward with no real life consequence than to make that mistake for the first time with a real person.

This is just a general overview. To specifically address this fandom and its ships, I'm going to start with this: when you were 14, did you think it was okay to date an adult? Did you ever see incestuous art/fic and start wondering if it was okay to date your sister?

Yes, consistent, repeated exposure of concepts from influential places can normalize them. Is that a genuine risk here, or what is happening? Have you seen it happen before on a wide enough scale to be generally applicable? I, of course, cannot speak for everyone, but I already knew those weren't okay by the time I joined the fandom at 13. Yes, 13 is young, but 13 year olds are capable of complex thought and reasoning. Their minds aren't going to be changed that easily, and a lot of them would probably resent the implication (even if unintentional, this is nothing against you) they couldn't figure it out for themselves. At least I would've

And more specific to keeper again: we have maybe a handful of these "weird" and "gross" ships/aus/etc. Posted by a number of people I could likely count on one hand, incredibly infrequently. This is a genuine invitation to think it through: what is that going to do?

Is that from enough places with enough power to normalize these ideas? Who is seeing it? How impressionable are they? Have they already formed ideas of right and wrong? Will this change that?

The conclusion I've come to is: 13 years old is young in the grand scheme of things, but at 13 years old you are capable of complex thought. I don't think the limited number of these "objectionable" topics and posters, which/who can be easily avoided, is going to normalize or make people think it's okay irl. It didn't happen with us, did it?

And I think, to some extent, limiting exposure or controlling media access takes away agency and choice, and that young people being able to experience difficult concepts in fiction before seeing them in real life is beneficial. This often then leads to "but what if they read something really icky they hate!" to which I say, kids aren't going to do things they don't want to. They won't watch movies, shows, or read books about things they're uncomfortable with or disinterested in. I simply put the book down and read something else.

And if they're being forced to, that's a different problem, and the solution is not to make sure the media doesn't exist or they can't access it.

This has been long, broad, sometimes specific, and more all in the attempt to be thorough. What it boils down to is: I don't think what you're worried about is going to happen, or is even slightly likely enough to genuinely plan for or worry about (not that you're unreasonable for worrying, though), and I don't think there's any trustworthy course of action that would separate the "good" from the "bad" and reliably, fairly decide who can see it and when.

I hope this helps answer your questions :). I'm happy to talk about it more, though I don't want to devolve into arguing, so if that starts to happen (with you or anyone else), I will likely end the conversation.

[hallowpen]

Why are there fences around the trees in all of the dramas? I know that there are better pictures but this was the only one I could directly find from memory.

I also use they/them pronouns. Have you talked about/would you be willing to talk about navigating the linguistics of a gendered language like Thai? ARE there really no neo pronouns outside the ค่ะ/ครับ binary? A lot of times actual queer lived experiences dont make it through the search engine algorithm no matter how hard you look for them.

Do you have a patreon/buy me a cup of coffee etc? I'm willing to tip for your labor. (Not much, sadly because I am very very poor, but still I appreciate anyone who is willing to help with translation/questions.) It can be frustrating when you are a self learner and there is literally no one tgat you can ask a question.

I think you're the first person to ask me this! It made me smile.

It's a sort of dual-faceted protection. Like other places, it's mostly to protect the soil from being trampled on so that it stays as porous as possible and can retain water (especially for newly planted trees). The more cultural reason is that certain trees hold auspicious and spiritual value to us, so we would want to preserve them by limiting disturbances (though most of those won't be found in urban environments). There's a big movement in certain cities to revitalize green spaces for both cultural and climate reasons.

As for your second question... I've spoken a little bit about gendered language in Thailand [X] The problem, for me, doesn't really exist in what you could call language 'norms'. Because pronouns/particles (ฉัน/ผม | ค่ะ/ครับ/จ๊ะ) are, more increasingly, used interchangeably OR what are classified as "female" pronouns can be used as 'acceptable' gender neutral identifiers. The problem is how certain people react to the use of gendered language in more modern expression. Does that make sense? Collectivist views and traditionalism look down upon non-adherence to gender correlated language, in a lot of instances. The fact that our culture was established from patriarchal perspectives doesn't help.

I don't know if I'm comfortable or ready to talk about my personal experiences (some of which were very unpleasant) living as a non-binary transgender person in Thailand, especially in online spaces, but I hope that I can get there one day.

Please don't feel pressured to compensate me in any way!!! I'm not asking or expecting to be rewarded for sharing my cultural insight. Some might see it as generous, and I'll accept that, but the reason behind it is very self-serving...in a way. Because I desperately want to combat the false information and discriminatory views that exist in fandom spaces about my culture. So really...

Thank you to anyone who refrains from making generalized assumptions about a culture that you do not belong to. It's hurtful to to see a lot of the misinformation that exists, not just here, but in other social media spaces. Coming to terms with interfandom has been a struggle... because Thai voices are often disregarded when discussing media that originates from their own country. And I hope that I've created an environment where you'd feel comfortable enough coming to me for any sort of clarification. All I have ever asked, is that you be respectful.

[anxious-witch]

This post specifically goes for my mutuals/followers who have been struggling lately. I see you and I don't always have something encouraging to reply, but if you have been feeling down recently, I hope this will help.

TW for mental health talk, mentions of suicide (this is an encouraging post, but please don't read further if anything of the sort might trigger you. Keeping your mental health intact is more important ❤️)

It's so very easy to get in the spiral of "I am not doing enough, all these people that I love would be better off without me". And convincing yourself those same people would forget you and move on quickly.

It's not true. I understand the sentiment, I really, really do. I used to fully believe that myself. But that's a lie. Mental illness reshapes the way we think and perceive things. And our brain and wired to remember bad things more than good ones. But when you'd write down everything that happened every day, I'd honestly be surprised if all of it was bad. Of course there are bad days, but even then, depression tend to focus on things you did wrong instead of those you did right.

But I am here to talk about the fact that I'd miss you if you were gone, too. Which seems ridiculous. "Rio, you follow 1000 blogs, you wouldn't notice". *loud incorrect buzzer* wrong! I would notice. As long as we ever interacted, as long as you liked and/or reblogged my posts, I'd notice.

When someone gets busy and I don't see them in my notes for over a week, I hope they are okay and just doing something more fun irl. I am not always great at remembering usernames, but as soon as they like one of my posts again I'm like yes!! They are back! I am glad you are okay!

"But I don't even contribute to the fandom!" No? Do you think creating content is the only way to contribute? Even just lurking and liking stuff counts. And I know some of you send really lovely anon messages that have made my day more than once. It DOES matter. Notes help other people as encouragement to keep posting. That absolutely counts.

"We barely post about the same fandom anymore" ah! But I still see you! I have a mutual that I have been following since 2016-2017, I believe. I have no idea what the hell he posts about these days. I can't rven accurately tell you why I originally followed him in the first place, it was either LOTR or Twilight, but fuck if I remember, because neither of hs posts about it!

And I still care. Because his journey ended up helping me. Seeing people's posts about their little achievements always makes my day. And even if you don't feel like you achieved anything in awhile, that doesn't mean you won't in the future. My point is, you are loved more than you know.

And this is only about online stuff. People notice when you walk down the street. Maybe someone likes your hair, or some detail of your outfit. Maybe someone saw you feed a stray and thought how nice you are. Maybe someone takes the same public transport as you every day and takes comfort in the fact you share the same path, if only for a few minutes.

This tumblr post perfectly described it, actually:

So please, if not for your own sake, for the sake of all the people who love you silently, keep going. It will get better. You might be just a bit further away from getting better. But you won't know unless you keep going.

So let's find out together, shall we?

[adidastain]

i have something to tell you

90s matt stone x ftm reader (blurb)

a/n: this is something i whipped up real quick for my own comfort cus i've felt so shitty the past few days. i'm actually really glad i wrote this cus not only did it make me feel better but i also don't hate it and it's my first time writing ftm reader (i'm ftm. idk if you could assume from my prns (he/him) despite the fact that i primarily write fem reader fics but yes i am ftm) so this is for all my t-brothers in the mattrey fandom <3 obviously if you're cis you can read it all you want i love u all no matter what :) enjoy

other notes: some suggestive dialogue at the end, all lowercase, 2847 words

--

“hey,” matt said to me. i was standing in the kitchen, washing dishes from the night before. i hated touching the food grime stuck to the porcelain, but it needed to be done.

“hi,” i said, putting on a small smile and leaning sideways to accept his kiss to my cheek, which he held for a few seconds. i felt my face grow warm. he was so good at making me blush. 

my smile quickly faded, however. something had been on my mind all day that kept me constantly terrified. i just hoped that he would make me feel better, enough so that my gloom would go away and i wouldn’t bring his mood down too. 

matt set his coat and stuff down on the kitchen table, before coming back over to me and wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. i leaned back against his broad chest, tilting my head as he kissed the crook of my neck. 

“how was your day?” he asked me. 

“fine,” i hummed, scrubbing the inside of a plastic cup. 

“not,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows. “you know i know that ‘fine’ means not fine.” 

“it was fine,” i insisted, looking at him. “just uneventful.” 

“m’kay,” he said, still suspicious. “i missed you a lot.” 

“i missed you too,” i sighed. that was true. i missed him more and more every day. nothing in our lives had changed, i just felt like he was slipping away from me solely because i was the distant one. i just tried to cherish what i had before it would all go to shit. i was terrified. 

“wanna watch a movie tonight?” he asked, kissing my ear. i felt matt’s hand travel down my waist, rubbing over the swell of my ass and giving it a light squeeze. 

i giggled, pushing him away with my back. i was relieved that he was still able to make me laugh and feel all warm inside. i loved him so much. 

“hm?” he hummed, pushing his question. 

“sure,” i said, washing the dish germs off my hands before drying them off with a towel. 

…

we ended up choosing a pretty depressing movie. neither of us knew it would be such a rough watch, but we got through it and i felt pretty shitty. matt pulled me closer as the credits rolled, most likely able to see that i was troubled. 

no words were said; he just caressed my face with both hands and looked into my eyes. i stared back, taking in the feeling that it gave me to share that contact with him. it would be gone soon, i was sure of it. that look of love he gave me would soon turn into one of betrayal, disgust, disappointment. 

of course, the thought brought tears to my eyes, which he immediately noticed. 

“i’m sorry,” he apologized. “i didn’t know the movie was like that. i’m sorry.” 

“it’s okay,” i exhaled, swallowing harshly through a tight throat. “i’m okay.” 

i giggled slightly, hoping to rid him of his concern and make myself feel a little better too. matt buried his slender fingers into my hair, holding my head close to his shoulder. for a moment, i sat there, letting him hold me. my hands tentatively made their way around his neck, pressing him against me as i felt a sob threatening to escape me. 

“i don’t think you are,” he sighed, his voice cracking. that pushed me over the edge. i broke down, tears soaking spots in his shirt as i buried my face in his shoulder. 

matt adjusted so that his arms were wrapped completely around my waist, holding my body flat against his. his lips pressed against my neck and cheek periodically, warm and soft. 

“talk to me,” he told me, his hand trailing up and down my back. “you haven’t been yourself lately.

i didn’t understand what he meant by that. i guess he could tell that i had been feeling down, but it was ironic. i’d been feeling down because i was terrified to tell him what i’d discovered about myself. how everything i hated about myself throughout my entire life was all because of one thing that i was absolutely petrified to share with him. it was myself, yet he had no idea. 

“i don’t want to make you upset,” i sobbed, gripping the fabric of his t-shirt as if he were trying to get away and i didn’t want him to leave. 

“baby,” he said softly. he smiled, looking into my eyes. “i don’t want you to be upset either. whatever it is, it’ll be better if we talk about it.” 

maybe he was right. maybe we could work it out. maybe he would be willing to give himself a different label and call me by a different name, if we could work it out. 

i sniffled, staring into his eyes and wishing he could just read my mind so i didn’t have to put it into words and fuck everything up. i could ruin my entire life with my next words.  

matt sat patiently, looking at me with concerned yet infinitely loving eyes. i spent my last few seconds with those eyes taking in their beauty, relishing the feeling they gave me when they peered into me with dilated pupils and relaxed lids. just a few more seconds, and i may never get them back. 

“i hate myself,” i choked, practically whispering. matt’s face dropped, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“you-“ 

“i’m not finished,” i squeaked, my voice wavering as i felt tears welling again. “please believe me when i say… i-i love you more than anything, matt. you are so important to me a-and-“ 

i cut myself off when i felt his thumb wipe a tear away from my eye. that only made me cry more. 

“you’re killing me,” matt swallowed. “i’m getting really worried.” 

“i’m sorry,” i said, nearly gauging my eyes out with how harshly i wiped my tears away. 

“i’m listening, baby,” he whispered. “i promise.” 

i took a deep breath, picking my fingertips as my entire body trembled. here we go. 

ruining my life in 3, 2… 

“i’m tired of being… of being a-a girl,” i mumbled, my voice faltering. yep. it was over. gone. finished. 

i first noticed his eyebrows furrow deeper than i’d ever seen them. he cocked his head slightly. he did that whenever he was confused. 

“what are you talking about?” he asked cautiously, meeting my eyes. concern still lingered in his gaze. i still felt the love there, but i hadn’t said entirely what i needed to say. 

“i don’t wanna be a girl anymore,” i sniffled, looking down as i spoke. “i don’t think i’ve ever wanted to be a girl.” 

silence filled the space between us as matt seemed to be deep in thought. “so…” he pondered out loud, not entirely sure what he was going to say, just as i was. 

“i’m… i’m trans. transgender. i-i think,” i said, swallowing harshly. my eyes burned from drying tears. my body just shook, saving the rest of the tears for later. 

i noticed matt’s expression relax for the most part, one small wrinkle still sitting between his subtly furrowed brows. he always sort of had a resting angry face, but now he looked frustrated for real. he was staring into space, just sitting there, thinking.

i looked away from him, pulling away slightly so that i wasn’t sitting on top of him anymore. i felt cold; i’d ripped myself away from his warmth before i gave myself the chance to cherish it. 

there it was before me. my life, broken and shattered into millions of pieces. 

“can… can i ask you-“ he started. 

“yeah,” i exhaled. i didn’t realize that i’d been holding my breath. 

“how, um, how do you know that?” matt asked softly. “i just mean-“ 

“it’s fine,” i swallowed. “i-i just… i don’t- i don’t know how to explain it. i-it’s… you know how i like wearing baggy clothes and overall just, y’know, men’s clothes?” 

matt nodded, staying quiet. he had his listening face on. jaw clenched shut, chewing on the inside of his cheek, eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. 

“it’s like, i don’t… i don’t wanna be a girl dressing like a man. i wanna be a man dressing like a man. even as a kid i wanted to wear boy’s clothes,” i explained. my voice cracked towards the end of my sentence, tears filling my eyes once again. 

i knew matt had little, if not zero experience with this, and to be honest, i barely did myself. and based on some of the stuff i’d seen and heard from his work, it didn’t seem like he ever wanted to have experience to begin with. 

“so… would you… change your name and stuff?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck. 

“mhm,” i hummed, sniffling. i wiped my eyes, cringing at the stinging sensation. 

“what name are-… w-what name would you prefer?” he asked, his voice softer than i’d ever heard it. 

did he really want to know? part of me didn’t want to tell him. part of me felt scared to death that he would tell his friends and they would mock me. 

“i, um… i like y/n,” i mumbled. i felt a small smile trying to creep up my face. it felt good to finally say that out loud. “feels good. i’ve always liked that name.” 

“y/n?” he repeated. 

i nodded, swallowing. i finally worked up the courage to look at him again. i felt better, but i still felt dread over what he was going to say next. 

“come here, y/n,” he said, beckoning me over with his index finger. good god. it felt unbelievably good to hear him call me that, regardless of whether what was to follow. 

i climbed back over to him, melting in his arms. matt ran his fingers through my hair. i could feel his heartbeat, racing nearly as fast as mine. he still felt just as warm as he did a few minutes ago. 

i let one hand caress his back while my other hand played with one of his curls on the back of his head. he let out a heavy exhale, his body relaxing under me. 

“i love you so much,” he said quietly in my ear. “you know that.” 

i nodded, pulling him closer. i said “i love you too,” but it was practically silent and only came out as a breath.

“i wish i knew more about this,” he said, his own voice starting to waver slightly. he placed a small kiss on my ear, moving my hair out of the way. 

“it’s okay,” i choked. i closed my eyes and pressed my face against his hair, letting his soft curls brush against my skin. “i understand if you… if you don’t wanna have to- …y’know.” 

“have to what?” he pressed. “call you my boyfriend?” 

i nodded. matt looked at me, wiping my tears away again. i could see his own eyes watering slightly, even through his glasses. my lip quivered as i remembered why i was so scared in the first place. 

 “i was so scared,” i laughed slightly, gulping. 

matt held both of my hands with one of his, the other reaching up to caress my jaw as he slowly leaned in and placed a soft, passionate kiss on my lips. 

even after letting go, his face lingered close to mine. we remained still, breathing each other in for a moment. his hand slipped away from my face, lowering to meet the rest of the bundle of hands that sat in my lap. 

“i didn’t want to lose you,” i whispered, barely audible. “i didn’t want to tell you ‘cause i was so scared that you would leave a-and-“ 

“i still love you,” he said. he gave me a small smile, showing off his dimples. “i don’t want to leave you. ever. not in a million years. you’re the brightest part of my entire fucking life.” 

i started crying again, hiding my face from him. i really thought he was going to be upset. i was so sure he would push me away. i guess i just didn’t read him correctly. 

“and who the fuck cares if i’m gay?” he laughed, pulling my hands away from my face. “everyone pretty much already believes that i am.” 

“but are you?” i asked, still sobbing. “there’s a difference between saying you’re gay and actually being gay.” 

“yeah, i mean-“ 

“it’s not a joke,” i swallowed. “are you attracted to men?” 

matt’s face dropped slightly. i didn’t mean to, but i had snapped at him a bit. my arms and hands were still shaking. i felt bad for interrogating him like this, but i would have preferred to get my heart broken now than later on, after thinking that i might have been spared of it. 

“i…” matt choked slightly. he cleared his throat. i saw tears welling in his eyes again. “i don’t know.” 

i sighed, looking away. i put my face in my hands again, taking a deep, shaky breath to keep more tears at bay. 

“but that doesn’t mean i can’t try new things, right?” he said softly, running a hand through my hair. i lifted my head up, tucking some stray strands of hair behind my ears. 

“i guess,” i squeaked, swallowing harshly. i looked at him, unintentionally giving him somewhat of a puppy-eyed look. i reached towards his face, carefully removing his glasses so that i could wipe a tear away from his cheek. matt turned his head to kiss the palm of my hand, before grabbing it and pressing it against his face. 

“i’m not going anywhere,” he mumbled, his words muffled by my skin against his mouth. smooch. “whether i’m gay or not, you can’t get rid of me.” 

i smiled slightly, looking down as i felt heat rise in my cheeks. “i don’t think it works like that,” i said. “but okay.”

matt smiled and let my hand rest on his cheek. i swallowed, scooting a little bit closer so i could lean forward and softly kiss him. 

the kiss lasted a few seconds, breaking every so often to we could just breath each other in and look into each other’s eyes. i still held his glasses in my hand, resting in my lap as my arms and legs stopped shaking so much. 

matt’s fingertips grazed my jaw. “i love you so much, y/n,” he said softly into my lips. i smiled at the sound of my name in his voice, speaking so softly yet passionately. 

“i love you more,” i said, trying not to grin from ear to ear. 

“is there anything else you wanna tell me?” he asked, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “anything else on your mind?” 

i shook my head, pecking his lips. i curled up in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. 

“okay,” he hummed. matt pushed my hair away from my face. 

“can i tell you who i wanna look like?” i asked, grazing my fingertip back and forth on his neck. 

“who?” he asked, putting his glasses back on. 

“george michael,” i mumbled, grinning slightly. 

matt giggled. “he is a beautiful man.” 

i laughed, shoving him playfully. matt just grinned, caressing my chin and pulling me in for another, much deeper kiss. 

i exhaled, relaxing my body for the first time in weeks as he kissed me over and over. it was dizzying, but i loved it. all the fear i held inside for so long about never being able to feel his lips on mine or his body pressed up against me ever again was behind me. that was the best thing i could have asked for. 

i let him slip his tongue between my lips, taking his time exploring the inside of my mouth and feeling my own tongue against his. i heard him him slightly into the kiss, leaning deeper into it. 

suddenly, he pulled away, causing a string of saliva between our lips to break. 

“what do you say we wear that name in?” he purred, biting his lip and stroking my jaw. there it was, that look of love. the one i was so sure i would never see again.

i rolled my eyes, feeling myself blush heavily. i made an “ugh” sound and pushed his chest away. 

“i’m serious,” he grinned. “i told you i would try new things.” 

“i know, i know,” i said, standing up. it had been quite a few days since we last… had fun. i’d been so distant and down in the dumps that i never really felt like it and i guess he could kind of tell that was the case. “c’mon.” 

i could have sworn i heard him giggle in excitement as he too stood up from the couch and followed me towards our bedroom, barely able to keep his hands to himself during our short walk down the hallway. 

[allwaswell16]

Hi lovely and thank for your sharing and caring in this fandom!

A bit finicky question, I'm here with. Don't know if I managed to mention different perspectives enough and contextualize it the way I wanted to, but anyway, do feel free to ignore or maybe just leave some tags:

What are your thoughts, your two pennies and just today (tomorrow is another day and maybe a new perspective), about the conversation going on about the commenting culture (nowadays in AO3):

the lack and/or decline of it

the urgent need for community, engagement, participation and positive feedback loop for authors

but also the growing and changing audience for fanfic

the growing idea that a fic is not a gift (it most certainly is) but some "factory produced and guaranteed content that keeps on coming and you are entitled to it"

the lack of reading comprehension skills

and the lack of skills to figure out the appropriate time and place for giving critique

but also the small but growing portion of authors who demand only certain kind of praise, worded in a certain kind of way and if not delivered accordingly attack brutally on everything and everyone

the cultural differencies as a player in participating, giving positive feedback and even using foreign language words

and of course the ever growing and spreading comment anxiety on "both sides"

and so on...

So how do you see it? What's your perspective? You are both an author and a reader. But then again, you are a reader who writes, so you actually know, what a writer likes to see in their comment field...

Hi, anon! Whew, well this is a lot, but I'm going to answer as much as I can haha. As you said, this is just my own perspective on things. I'd say I also have a little added perspective of being a writer who reads and writes in more than one popular fanfic fandom. So I can't help but compare my experiences in both.

I don't think the One Direction fandom has ever been overly generous with the kudos and comments to be perfectly honest. I think if you talk to writers who are active in other fic fandoms of similar sizes/popularity, they'd likely agree with that.

I want to be clear to start with here that I feel like readers have been very kind to me over the years. I've been here a long time now though, so I get the benefit of the doubt with some long time readers and those who subscribe to my ao3. But I also think that in part I have encouraged comments in a way that not every writer can or wants to do.

I answer every single comment. I answer them in a way that mirrors back the comment that was made. If you leave a long comment, I answer back in detail. If you send me something shorter, (which is fine and I love any and all comments!) I will answer back in a similar way. I also answer back pretty quickly. There are times I get behind, but I rarely get behind more than a month or so. And the day my fic posts, I try to answer every comment that gets posted on that first day.

Am I saying everyone needs to do what I do? Absolutely not! It takes a lot of time and energy to do that! But I do think there's a correlation to be made there. Readers see all the comments, see they're being answered quickly, and feel comfortable or like it's okay to leave one, too. OH, and also I want to say that me answering back (maybe obsessively) quickly is something that probably isn't possible for people who have a fic explode in popularity. I might have some popular fics but none of them were like overnight explosions in popularity. They've all been slow burners lol.

As for concrit with fic...I think it depends on the fandom. It is not something that is looked upon kindly in ours. There are definitely writers out there who ask for it which is fine, but the etiquette in our fandom is not to offer it unless asked for it. In my opinion, this makes a lot of sense for our fandom. Since writers are not getting the numbers of kudos and comments that are given more freely in other fandoms, it's a bit of a hard pill to swallow that we'd then expect them to also take unsolicited writing critiques.

Just using my own fics as an example, by the time I publish a fic multiple other writers have already read it. It's been proofread and betad by a writer with an MFA in creative writing. I'm not going to be taking concrit seriously from someone whose background in writing I don't know. When I publish the fic, it's done, I'm happy with the result, and I'm not going back to it to make changes. So there's not much point in telling me what I should have done differently with it.

Your point about some writers being perhaps overly sensitive about some comments...I wanted to say a few things about. There are a few common comments that immediately came to mind that writers have differing views on, and I think it's worthwhile for readers to think about.

One is something like I wish this was longer or please write more of this. If you comment this on any of my fics, I'll smile and consider it a compliment that you enjoyed it enough to want more. If you go through my comments, you'll see this is indeed what I've replied back to comments like that. There are other writers that are going to be exasperated by that comment or even offended by it. And even though I'm not one of them, I would say try to see it from their perspective.

What if that writer has spent months on that fic the reader considers "short"? I think readers sometimes forget just how much TIME goes into these fics. Just because a fic is 10k, 5k, whatever doesn't mean it didn't take a long time to write. And someone who spent months of time on something who likely didn't receive a whole lot of comments in the first place, and then one of the few comments they get could be interpreted as this wasn't enough. That's disheartening, you know? I think if you have the urge to leave that comment, maybe think first about the writer you're leaving that comment for. Or even think of a different way to say it like, "I could have lived in this fic forever" which is what I like to think is what most readers are trying to convey with comments like that.

Another one is who tops? Just don't, I'd say for that comment. I simply don't answer ones like that. But I'd say check the tags. If it's not tagged, either choose to move on if you have to know to read it or ctrl+F the fic yourself for the word "cock" or whatever. If the writer doesn't tag it, it means they didn't care about that. Or they got annoyed with their fics being reduced to that too often. PWP eh fine, but my 80k amnesia au I had a nervous breakdown writing that has one sex scene...eff off that's not what the fic is about. I once wrote a fic about grief. GRIEF! (well, and Antarctic scientists) that people argued over whether it was bottom Louis. And I resolved to never tag it again after that.

As for the fic as a gift vs not a gift I agree with you...I don't know what else you'd call something that is given for free. That's the definition of "gift." If someone reads the fic, a kudos is like a verbal thank you and a comment would be like a thank you card.

The comment anxiety thing I don't have an issue with myself, but I know writers who do and can't bring themselves to answer their comments. One of my friends feels so badly for not answering but when she tries she says her replies don't feel like enough. It's too bad that she can't answer due to actually loving her comments TOO much! Anxiety is a bitch for sure. For anyone who wants to leave a comment but is worried about it, I promise that super short ones or even keysmashes or emojis are very welcome! I have a mutual on tumblr who leaves the same comment on every one of my fics that simply says she loved the fic and I promise it makes me happy every single time because now I know she read it and enjoyed it whereas I might have missed whether or not she left a kudos. And when I see her on my dash, I think that's the one who loves my fics! :)

I swear I'm gonna stop rambling, but I want to end with one more thing. I think it would be interesting for readers and writers to experience a different fandom sometime if they're only in this one. It's not always a better/worse thing, but it might make people more open to trying new things like commenting/replying more or in different ways.

[quietasides]

Hi love, first I want to say you don't have to answer me with a long essay or something, but I just want and need your opinion on something since you have been here since 2013 which means you're a veteran larrie. Could you please answer in private :)

There aren't many larries from those days left and I completely understand why. The fandom is becoming a mess. I would just like your opinion on one subject/aspect of Larry.

I have been back and forth analyzing stuff before but mostly after 1D took their hiatus. Louis' and Harry's lyrics, behavior, and signaling and I just don't understand it anymore. The new influx of larries think L and H broke up multiple times and had other relationships, but I don't know anymore.

Something inside me tells me that isn't what happened, but with their lyrics and everything else (stunts), I feel like I'm in the minority. That's why I would like to ask you one question, you can simply answer with a yes or a no. I'd love it if you could share your ideas or elaborate more, but I know not many larries like and feel comfortable sharing their ideas anymore....so please do so, if you can.

Do you think Louis and Harry have taken breaks/broke up since 2010 (with taking breaks I mean L and H still have a relationship but taking time apart and breaking up is self-explanatory)? And do you think they have slept/been with other people since 2010?

Hello! Thanks for your ask. I don't have a problem stating my opinion publicly. Do I think Louis and Harry have taken breaks or broken up over the past thirteen years, and do I think they have had a monogamous relationship throughout that time?

I think it's absolutely 100% impossible for any one of us here on tumblr to claim we know what's going on with Louis or Harry, together or separately, never mind open-to-interpretation clues and lyrics and imagery. It seems to me that it was a strategic business decision to utilize "Larry" signaling, and it serves a dual purpose of both promoting interest and offering a sort of smokescreen for whatever sort of private lives Louis and Harry lead. I think they're very smart to keep ambiguity around the situation, because I think it allows them a lot of privacy.

I've lived for enough years to know that people grow and change, relationships evolve, partners stay, partners go, deeply committed relationships fail for all sorts of reasons and thrive for just as many—so, really, hell if I know what's gone on behind anyone's closed doors, much less a couple of artists I've never met! I haven't been active in fandom since 2019, when I entered graduate school to get my masters in counseling, so I can state with absolute confidence I have no idea what's going on with their relationships and that really any stance is JUST AS VALID.

It's totally fun to speculate and enjoy analyzing stuff, and it's fun to gather "proof" etc.

People in a successful relationship have determined between them what works for them. Any relationship has its own course and only the people involved know what goes on. Ethical non-monogamy is perfectly acceptable; it's open and honest and no lying is involved. With cheating, there's lying and concealment, which damage a relationship and make it unsustainable without a lot of work to regain health.

I have no idea what's gone on between Louis and Harry, and where things stand between them in 2024. I do know that when they met, in 2010, Harry at 16 and Louis at 18 were not even halfway through their adolescence, which the latest research shows doesn't end until our mid- to late-twenties. Now, almost 14 years later, they are both adult men with a fair amount of life behind them. They now know themselves in completely different ways than they did then, when they were just beginning the journey of growing up.

I hope for each of them, both of them, that they are enjoying living contented lives in just the manner they would like, that they feel healthy and loved and okay just as they are, together, separate, whatever.

I hope that you, dear ziamswitchcraft, enjoy speculating and interpreting symbols and choosing for yourself what you think is true, with the kind understanding that it could only ever be partially true, and could well be false.

[masked-and-doomed]

NEW ME NEW INTRO!!

Hello, I'm Kat/Kats (or Yomotsu), welcome!! I am so normal about my boyfriends.

Please feel free to ask me about my OC, UG!! Hell, even cooler if you do it in a roleplay kinda way.

Other places you can find me:

@katsdoodles - art blog/archive.

Discord: thatonekats

👆 just in case. Tumblr explodes. Talk to me if you wanna ig (I am not good at conversing. So. Keep that in mind.)

Ao3: ThatOneKat2

👆 Might as well have it here. I've been more in a writing mood this year.

Twitter: @ThatOneKats

I have a twitter now I fucking guess. A bit of bonus content there (a little bit more of unhinged thoughts) but you're not missing much if you don't go there.

--

Suspected BPD, have been diagnosed autistic. I will feel things very intensely either forever or feel nothing about it in the next hour max. You may see vent posts. Every now and then. Check the tagging system to block em out.

I am deeply in love and sickly affectionate for my 4 darlings. They're my boyfriends, girlfriends, besties- our relationship? Is uhh whatever man. It's love. It's love. (Also not the best fathers but hey I take what I can get)

First two being Yomotsu Hirasaka (pfp), and Takao Hiyama. They are my most intense hyperfixation of 2 years.! They are from Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. An anime/manga which I don't really like.

The next beloved is Pocketcat! He is from Fear and Hunger. He's. A silly :) There's so much intrigue of him aaaghhh ough he is so sad.

Last one !! Faust. From Guilty Gear. He's a. He's somebody. Got him on Valentine's Day. He makes me a different kind of ill. Alas, this doctor cannot cure me.

They're 💙 just like me fr. I love them. URL is them btw. Masked men, doomed.

(comfortable with sharing and gushing together with everyone. I don't mind if you send or @ me in stuff that has Faust shipped with someone, (I like appreciating art of Faust in any form :] ) just know I'm uncomfy with all (canon x canon) Faust ships except Happy Chaos, meaning that I won't talk about them (eg., fau.slayer) together.)

I am. Also obsessed with my lambs as well. (The Conclave, consisting of Axus, Libraria, Baldias, and Chronus) They mean a lot to me. I wish to give them happiness they didn't have the time nor place for. You will see me reblog lambs and tag it as them. Feel free to send me lamb pictures, effectively beaming Conclave to me.

NOTE! I do sometimes post about needing my darlings to kill themselves, or wish great harm upon them. I will not always have positive things to say about them. I am a hater as much as I am a lover. (Not the "I want him dead" (lovingly) (though I do have sadism and would enjoy killing them for the fun of it), I have genuine hatred towards them all (Libraria the least) and I loathe their existence.

(if I had to guess, this is the bpd doing its thing)

--

Yayaya tagging system time!

#ah rambling - general yapping tag

#[MN/funger] rambling - ramblings of MN or funger

#[MN/funger] bangers - memes/shitposts of that fandom

#oc time - posts about the little OCs I have (currently empty. DW about it)

#unnamed girlie - posts about my self insert. (UG for short)

#UG spoilers - in case you wanna go through the UG tag but not be spoiled about the endings and such.

#guy in my head - headcanon posts

#doodle tag - stuff not high effort enough to put into my art blog goes here

#reblog moment - reblogs! So you can filter them out

#lovesick - yandere / obsessive behaviour

#gatito - kitty tag.

#belalang beloveds - grasshopper tag. Belalang is grasshopper in Malay :)

#art save - images I wanna draw (typically memes I wanna draw with my guys)

#art reference material - reblogs of posts with helpful art stuff

#general reference material - reblogs of posts with whatever that isn't art. Not really 'general' perse but I don't have another word

#epic meowtual art - art by the meowtuals!

#ask game - reblogs of ask game posts

#ask game answer - answers to asks abt the ask game

#hello asker - ask tag

#tag game - reblog of posts that are meant to have you tag other ppl to continue the chain

#negative. And #/negative are used for vent posts. Make those sometimes.

#hxrny aroace on main - (mind the x) epic posts where I feel feelings for some characters (carnally)

#fanfic shit idfk - posts related to fanfics I'm reading (or something like that)

#girl what you on?? - posts where I'm in some sort of delirium, talking to my beloveds. And being ill about them.

#shit I send to fictional guy - posts I'd send to fictional characters. Will prob have their name tagged too.

#unnamed oc core - wow it's just like him fr. Many things will be tagged this btw. They are not okay. (Same person as UG jsyk)

#pocketkitty - for posts I don't want in the pocket.cat tag or reblogging posts that are like pocket.cat. (only applies to him everyone else gets tagged with their name in posts that are like them)

#robot nephew - similar to pocketkitty just that it's. Mr robo.t K.y

#silly doctor man - I fell into gui.lty g.ear and now I'm in love with this bozo. When I don't want it to be in the main tag. Yes like pocketkitty and robo bo.

#mister omelette - guy that asks which came first the chicken or the egg. Answers himself, it's omelette.

#mask quartet - fucking stupid masked bitches trying to save humanity gone wrong

Liveblog tags:

Guilty gear: #pride in my gears: sign, #pride in my gears: rev, #pride in my gears: overture, #pride in my gears: strive

--

Tag me in stuff you think I like!! I don't mind! Or like tag games.

There's also a *cough cough* side blog. For degenerate thoughts of mine. If you want it just give a DM ig.

--

Pictures i want here

(This applies mostly to Faust. Sorry not sorry Faust. I will give you the worst horrors.)

(This is me any time someone mentions Conclave. I wish I could say I was exaggerating. I'll just say that Conclave has spiked my libido and I've been the fastest to draw suggestive art of them and write smut of them than of any other character I've fallen in love with. I need them carnally. And I tell you, it is a need.)

[naranjapetrificada]

Consider this your opportunity to be an Astrology Bitch and go off about Leo Stede!

(signed, a Virgo sun, Cancer moon, Capricorn rising who simultaneously is and is not an Astrology Bitch, more of a Tarot Bitch tbh)

Okay! You asked for it lol.

I should start by saying that I'm an August Leo sun. Stede is a July Leo, as confirmed by the show:

July Leos are...different somehow? It's not a bad thing and it's not their fault, and if anybody else comes for them we August Leo's will throw down for our siblings, but there's something about the vibes! Maybe it's the Cancer proximity, idk. If anything my anecdata suggests that they're more well adjusted than the rest of us. 🦁❤️🦁

Anyway, I immediately sat up and noticed when they cut to the gravestones because it's second nature for me as an Astrology Gay. Obviously I didn't know Stede at the time and I don't actually know what went down as the character was developed, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if I learned that at least one person in the writers room was a fellow Astrology Gay.

So I completely forgot about his birthdate because a) ADHD and b) swooniest romance I'd ever seen, but I started thinking about it again when I showed up like a year late to the fandom and saw people talk about whether they were Ed coded or Stede coded. I am heavily, heavily Stede coded for neurodivergent reasons, but he also exhibits certain Very Leo traits that I recognized immediately.

Leo stereotypes:

Let's get the stereotypes out of the way because while they do apply sometimes (especially for Stede), there's no need to rehash them in detail.

Leadership, which he struggles with at first but a) takes up the mantle of it anyway and b) improves enough that by the end of the season the crew that wanted to mutiny saves his life.

Good hair. Nuff said.

The man has an auxiliary wardrobe for fucks sake.

His "theatrical instincts are finely honed" and while Izzy says it to encourage the fuckery, it's not a lie.

The Revenge

If an 18th century Leo was going to custom build a pirate ship and money was no object, they would 1000% build the Revenge. I could see arguing that a Taurus might build something similar, but honestly I'm not sure a Taurus would become a pirate by choice. Maybe a Taurus might build like, a pleasure yacht or something. A Libra might build a ship that's as good-looking as the Revenge but sharing expensive tastes isn't enough to convince me either. Stede's money allowed him to build and decorate luxuriously, but plenty of rich people used to comfort didn't have ships like the Revenge. As Nigel says during his tour, it's just so incredibly him.

Now for some feelings stuff:

Leos love it when other people are happy, and when we can be involved in fostering that at all for people we care about we are ON IT. Stede wants to create space for others to get what they need to make that happen. Literally in the first episode he talks about the Revenge as somewhere for his crew to work on their trauma and communicate their feelings.

The above is also an extension of Stede's instinctive generosity. Canon doesn't tell us where Ed got his clothes for the French boat party in episode 5, but given that Stede has an auxiliary wardrobe (which he shared with Ed almost immediately) the most likely scenario seems like he loaned (or maybe even gave!) it to Ed. Another possibility is that it was on the ship where Frenchie found his and Oluwande's outfits, but the purple jacket in particular seems very extra in a way that says "Stede" to me.

Speaking of episode 5, let's talk about the party game. Obviously the main takeaway is that Stede has enough of a handle on passive aggression to make the French assholes tear each other apart, but it's not just the passive aggression, it's in the delivery. With sufficient motivation (Ed's hurt feelings, if not his own) we see Stede command the room with confidence. He chooses his targets well. He knows just what to say to get them to agree to play the game at all. The fire wasn't part of the original plan but it shows just how powerful those hard-won skills are when he wants to apply them. (This doesn't feel like it merits its own bullet point but Leos are protective, ride-or-die friends, something else we see in this episode.)

Stede's love language, imo, is quality time. There are arguments for others (there's also a really good meta about his love language causing miscommunication with our touchy-feely boy Ed, if I can find the link I'll edit) but quality time seems the most appropriate to me. Another part of the whole generosity of spirit thing is that he seems to enjoy what a friend of mine called "engineering experiences" for people i.e. crafting activities and jam sessions for the crew. The most obvious of these is the treasure hunt for Ed, which of course comes out of his fear of Ed leaving, but it's also a way for them to spend time together. I'm not at all surprised that a lonely, bullied kid would grow up to value quality time.

I would also extend this to the clearly routine (but still extravagant) breakfast for two that we see Calico Jack crashing in episode 8. Not to mention the first breakfast he and Ed ever share up on the maintop in episode 4. It's not fancy, but he wakes Ed up to share in that moment because he's enjoying the sunrise and the marmalade, and I can't think of anything more Leo than enjoying something then immediately wanting to share it because someone else might enjoy it too.

Stede's not perfect of course, despite all those seemingly positive things I just said. In the way of some Leos he is frequently thoughtless, up to and including when he didn't make to the dock. I can't speak for every Leo but I have definitely accidentally flirted with/been read as flirting with people before, whether I was attracted to them or not. And yeah his quarters are nice but he could have used some of that space for more crew quarters, right? And how could a Leo possibly misread "what makes Ed happy is you" as badly as he did?

Well I may be an Astrology Binch but I mostly like it (and anything else that puts personalities into discrete groups) as an analysis tool. It's just a fun lens to examine behaviors through, IRL and with fictional characters. Also, the show is clearly trying to examine things like trauma and self-loathing in ways that are gonna inform character behavior way more than a hypothetical astrology enthusiast in the (admittedly pretty queer) writers room. But the vibes? The vibes are so there.

[jen-with-a-pen]

If people aren't comfortable reblogging fics to their blog (which I am not, due to a personal history of being doxxed and humiliated to my irl friends and family), are comments sufficient enough engagement or would you rather that reader not engage with your work at all?

I feel like that came out sounding passive aggressive but I truly mean it as a genuine question and am just not sure how to rework it to sound less snarky! I see this discourse on and off from different fic writers and respect both opinions and think everyone should be able to curate interaction with their fics as they see fit.

Hi, anon.

I've been thinking carefully on how to respond to this. I can tell you're not trying to come off as snarky– which i say as someone who can't read tone for shit most of the time and whose own tone can come off aggressive or bitchy when I don't mean it to be.

I'm gonna address your ask as thoroughly as I can, if that's cool. Sorry if it's a long response. I'll put a cut in so I don't interrupt feeds ✂️

First, I want to pose a question to your question, which I mean genuinely with no spite whatsoever: why are you on Tumblr if you're not reblogging or don't even reblog?

As I've stated in other replies to the post I made a few weeks back, from the way I see it, Tumblr is literally built upon the foundation of sharing creations and content. There is no dead-set algorithm here like there is for Instagram or TikTok. Sharing is, quite fucking literally, caring here. We are able to form communities of all sizes because we share things. Reblogging is essential to the upkeep, and quite frankly the existence, of fandom and communities. Without sharing, our communities crumble and become ruins. We are actively seeing this as we speak: many mutuals and authors I follow are starting to quit writing due to passive, demanding consumption patterns and 0 engagement.

I know you probably know this, but I thought I'd restate it for answer's sake.

To answer the meat of your ask, I will pull from both personal experience and mutuals' experiences and input.

In my own personal opinion, if you are solely commenting on fics and are not engaging in anything else (no likes, no reblogs, etc.) then I personally think that Tumblr is not the site you should be on and, frankly, you should go sign up for AO3 if that's all you're going to do.

And I mean this earnestly. If all you want to do for engagement is commenting, then AO3 needs you because sharing does NOT affect authors nearly as much over there as it does here. In fact comments on AO3 are the literal equivalent to reblog on Tumblr: we don't get any and when we do it's like finding an oasis in a never ending desert.

Now in terms of what mutuals and other authors have said on the matter, it seems the consensus is that commenting without reblogging is a case-by-case basis. I'm going to quote a mutual of mine here:

"...if someone is commenting on my work but not reblogging… I'd say it's case by case. If it's just MY fics they aren’t reblogging, then it'd be a problem, but if they don’t reblog ANY [fics] I'd be more okay."

Another mutuals also put it this way:

"... I feel like there *is* both sides in this sense; yes comments are nice and engaging even though they aren't the preferred and most helpful way to boost writers..."

I feel like both of them put it into words where I struggled to. I will also say that I do agree with the point being that if you're not gonna reblog ANYTHING– no art, no content, no photos, no other fics, nothing– AND your profile adheres to the guidelines set forth in basic Tumblr etiquette (not looking like a bot and not a minor) then sure, comment away.

The verdict, in summary with my opinion and mutuals': it depends on your behavior and your interactions with other works and content.

I hate the word content but I couldn't think of another one.

But, my question still stands: why are you on Tumblr when you don't even participate in the basic fundamental function of this site?

I also wanted to take the time to address the other part of your ask regarding the doxxing and people finding out your identity.

It has been very widely known for (close to) two decades now that Tumblr is the place where you can have an anonymous identity. Truly. I've been on here for the collective half of the last decade and have been on the Internet for a little more than half my life, now, and Tumblr and fandom are literally the biggest and best places where you can be someone else. You can be completely anonymous.

The common denominator, however, is you.

The amount of information you have on your blog is what you choose to put on it. If you state your real name, your state and city, have one of those (imo stupid) carrd things or whatever, then honey– and I mean this in the nicest way possible, truly– that is on you. I know for a fact (from good and bad experiences) that you have all of the power in the world to annonymize yourself while still maintaining yourself on the Internet. That make sense?

A couple of mutuals made very excellent points regarding this:

"...I have a best friend irl who has Tumblr and is so close to the fandoms I'm in, and she doesn't know I write here. I am anonymous on here. I'm suprised she hasnt connected the dots because my aesthetics are the same in real life..."

"...I personally think its pretty easy to be anonymous on tumblr. Especially since usually all we ask is you have that you aren’t a minor at the top of your blog..."

"...it's really easy to be anonymous on the internet [...] you can be an ENTIRELY different person on the internet..."

From that last mutual, I'll paraphrase and go off of another point they made: the fact that you do want to participate and comment negates your ENTIRE arguement because someone– anyone– can find you and your blog through said comment(s).

Your digital footprint is what you leave behind. So if you have your city and state and grade and real name and all this other shit in your blog or carrd or whatever, then you are the only one who is responsible for having put said information out there.

Hell, I've been mutuals with some people going on 2-3 YEARS at this point and the only other things they know about me is my state, general city vicinity, my cat, and what I do for a living. That's it. And we span from early twenties to married with a kid or two.

We are in charge of what we share and I implore you– as someone with a certification in legal information technology– to please educate yourself on your Internet privacy and digital footprint. Please take the time to think about your actions and the information you have online. I STILL do this to this day, even after getting certified and being on the Internet for half my life.

I am sorry that you've gotten doxxed in the past. Truly, I am. It's a horrible act and I hope you never have to experience that again. Please know I am not being dismissive of that nor trying to blame you for said acts.

But it all comes down to you at the end of the day. In general, it's you, your actions, and the consequences of your actions. And if you happen to be a minor, then I strongly urge you to rethink your decisions and maybe step away from social media and utilize critical thinking in order to asses your situation and who you surround yourself with, both online and offline. I wish I had someone to tell me that when I was 14– fuck, even when I was 18.

And I mean it when I say AO3 might suit you more than Tumblr. If any fandom site has more capabilities to be anonymous than Tumblr itself, it's AO3.

Anyways, I think that's all I have to say for you. My DMs and ask box are always open and I am open to more commentary on the matter and related ones so long as it is civil and respectful. I refuse to stop having this conversation.

Thank you for listening ❤️

[quipxotic]

A couple of thoughts about c3e78; spoilers below, obviously:

First of all, I loved it so much! Story is always the thing that hooks me, which is why, even though I like fights in D&D, it's RP that lights me up. 4 hours of professional actors leaning heavily into the angst? Yes please! Sign me up. (As an aside, this is also part of the reason I love Candela so much.)

So many people have said it, but I missed Orym. It'll be fine, Liam will slay us all when he comes back and in the meanwhile it's free space for fan fiction writers to dream up conversations as much as they want. Still, I wish he'd been able to be there.

I've always wondered why I identified so hard with Ashton because on the surface we are nothing alike. But this episode? It made it all clear. The low self-esteem, the intense love and care for other people without the ability to express it in a way that anyone could understand, the awkwardness, the being misunderstood by the people you love most and not even fighting it because of course it's what you deserve, the burning all-encompassing desire for a family who loves you coupled with the knowledge that you may never get it, the suicidal ideation - it's not an exact mirror of a younger version of me, but it's close enough. And it's so cathartic to see it outside of yourself in a fictional space.

And that is part of why some of the fandom's reactions to Ashton are so painful. Look, I don't care if people don't like Ashton - they're a complicated character and people can like or dislike whoever they want. I don't have a problem with characters I like experiencing the consequences of their actions, because that makes for interesting storytelling. I don't have a problem with the reactions of the characters in-world to Ashton's choices. I don't think they're all healthy reactions, but I also don't think they were meant to be. What I do have an issue with is folks being so gleeful about another person's pain, particularly given Ashton's background and mental health issues. And yes, Ashton is a fictional character, but so many of us in the fandom also share those feeling and qualities, if not the same choices, in our real, actual lives. It feels like people punching down, rather than punching up, if that makes sense.

I rarely cry at anything Critical Role, the notable exception being EXU: Calamity which makes me bawl no matter how many times I watch it. But that scene with Laudna giving Ashton the doll completely blindsided me. It was so well done.

So many juicy narrative choices in this episode, I can't wait to see how they cause ripples (or tidal waves) through the rest of the campaign. Laudna's conversations with Delilah. Imogen confessing to FCG (but no one else) that she and Fearne had seen Delilah manifest. Chet comforting people and challenging them in a mix of endearing uncle and manipulating asshole energy. Fearne's anger, at herself as well as Ashton, and her praying at the Raven Queen's temple. Gwen breaking windows! Ashton and Percy's talk. Just so many good moments.

Getting to visit Nana Morri again feels like a present just for me. I love her weirdness and her funky house, it's all just the right kind of creepy to delight me. And the fact Allura is there with Bell's Hells is a bonus.

I'm also thrilled because I think Ashton taking the shard, it rejecting them, and the aftermath has defused one of the potential time bombs that Taliesin's been hinting at for months, mainly Ashton trying to take down the gods as a means of finding someone to blame. I am not particularly attached to any of the gods of Exandria, but that wasn't a plotline that interested me at all.

I'm sure I'll have more useful, detailed thoughts later, but for now I am just so pleased.

[bluravenite]

You can totally ignore this if you want, i just saw that poat you added to about fandom bullying and idk, I am just... gah, i wish this fandom wasnt so cruel. I had so much fun here when i first joined and i didnt really know what i was getting into except for the fact that I loved ghost! now i still love ghost, but i am in the process of de-ghosting my blog. I feel like every day I see people bullying one another in this community, and I feel like every time i post my writing, I risk drawing attention and being bullied. Congratulations to those assholes! they'll kill the fandom because folks will be too scared to share work.

I know fandom always has some drama, but none of the others I have been involved in have been this cruel. I dont know if people are just getting crueller, or whether Ghost somehow just attracts cruel people. I hate to think the latter, because the band is drenched in love. But i fear to think the former, though i worry it might be so.

I don't think it's the band itself Hun, I think definitely it's the sort of bubble the fandom itself has created.

Cruel people exist everywhere and it's unfortunate when they end up finding each other in a bubble, ghost has gotten so big that its really hard to regulate and you will have lots of unregulated environments where people don't feel comfortable.

You as a member can do what you need to endure YOUR safety, but that sometimes isn't enough or as effective when other triggers (i.e. hate anons) are still present in the environment.

I completely feel you and I am so sorry that you've been through this and feel like this as well... Ghost used to be my comfort fandom, and I am still so in love with the romanticized idea of it, I miss talking about our OC ghouls with friends, writing and reading about them and siblings of sin life in the abbey, about ghouls going on tours and being so silly with each other. About the love and romance that allowed people in the fandom to find new ways to love themselves and explore their sexuality and even bodies. I still think that was beautiful.

Unfortunately we lost that energy at some point, maybe with the hate anons to the writers, attacks to artists, maybe with the hypersexualization of presenting gay male ghouls and dislike for the female presenting ghouls. Maybe with the over-sexualization of unmasked members of the real band, which should've never happened.

The other day I found this clip from a Neil Newbon stream (voice of Astarion in BG3 and Heisenberg in REV) where he goes on to say some headcanons are just.. wrong, and you have to learn to separate fact from fiction. These are ultimately characters that the original creators wrote, while you as a fan artist have free range to give them physical designs and traits you also have to be aware that you need to keep a somewhat level of separation, AND decency between your own headcanons and the real canon.

I think ultimately that's where this fandom goes wrong... There is no separation because people get so fucked up into their headcanons in their made up mutual bubbles that I feel like they never go out to touch grass and maybe take a minute to evaluate their content.

Not that I'm saying it shouldn't exist. Just that it's important to understand WHY it was made, WHY, it exists. Is this ghoul hypersexual?? Okay well BUT WHY????? Who are they, how do they feel about it, when did they realize, how did it affect them??? That's never talked about, it's always "ghoul has lit of sex with same sex ghoul again!!!!" It's like plotless porn at that point, fetish. It becomes gross.

I ended up kinda ranting here but I made some good points so I hope this at least helps invite more discussion about what the frick has been happening here lately..

Lots of love and encouragement to you anon, and to anyone else who has felt this way at least once in the fandom. We deserve a decent creative space💀

[tealenko]

mShenko appreciation post...

So... I usually (ejem... better said always, if I'm being honest XD) choose femShep in Mass Effect.

Long story short, I like to play characters in my own gender... Kinda helps a lot with the immersion, despite the fact that I look nothing like my main Shep. And, in the wise words of my brother: "If I'm gonna have to stare at an ass for hours of gameplay, I prefer it to be a woman's ass" (Nothing against men ass' on my part though... I mean, I'm a Kaidan stan 😳😳😳 but I'm week when it comes to females curves ehehehehehe sue me XD)

Anyways... Butt thing aside, I always play femShep. And the same femShep, Mio Shepard. Because I got the fanfic writer disease back when I was like 13 years old and I haven't found the cure yet, so... All I play, write and draw (because I didn't have enough obsessions already lol) related to the main ME trilogy is about my main shep and Kaidan.

I swear I'm about to make my point, stay with me for a little longer XD

Thing is, with the launch of MELE, I decided to see the mShenko romance for the first time (yep, first time... I imagine you can already tell, but I'm that kind of person that once she likes a game, she plays it a 1000 times but always in the exact same way and making the same choices in every single run).

So here we are, a year later, and here's the post about it 😅😅😅

As I told you before, I tend to focus on fShenko. I love the Shenko fandom as a whole, but from what I've seen and from the people I follow, fShenko is in need of more help, support and content than mShenko (I may be wrong here... but the moment your femshep likes dudes people tends to scream at you why you shouldn't be with Kaidan and my mission in life is to always be there to reply that idgaf about how many aliens they think I should bang XD)

Said all that, mShenko.

It's fucking awesome.

Period.

Like... Truly amazing.

Mesmerizing.

(sorry... I had to XD)

I may be biased here, because Kaidan's arc with his sexuality is very similar to my own, but, the whole "At the end of the day, I'd love you no matter what gender you were" is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole life.

I was also very surprised by the amount of differences there were between both romances... Both of them top tier. And, against all my expectations, I can comfortably say that they are equally good. So if you love Kaidan and you've only seen one side, I really recommend you to check the other (learn from my mistakes ehehehehe although I think I've enjoyed mShenko 10 times more than I would have before making a few discoveries about myself... so I'm kinda happy it took me so long. Now it feels more special to me <;3)

fShenko has all the young, pure~ish, forbidden, cute and heart-racing vibes in ME1 *chef's kiss* and then (after a bit of angst) you have the mature, long-lasting, I'd die for you romance that we all deserve.

mShenko, on the other hand, is more Kaidan focused in my opinion, which I truly like, and his realization of what is love (🎵) and what Shepard really means for him, which I find extremely cute and beautiful.

And I'll admit, I'm the first to complain about Bioware (perks of being a forever resident of the shenko vortex) but I have to congratulate them on the way they wrote mShenko in ME3.

I really thought it would be ultra cringy and forced, because that kind of evolution is not the easiest to write, but I was sooooooo wrong and I'm sooooooo glad that I was. So yay~ to Bioware on this one!

So, yup... I wanted to do a quick post and here we are now, an hour later ehehehehehe 😅😅

Anyways, and to wrap this up, just sharing an opinion (or ten) here... I was just thinking about it today and I felt like writing a post about it (there's always room for more Kaidan appreciation posts <3).

If you ever wanna talk with me about our beautiful canadian marshmallow pm me, tag me, etc. If you respectfully disagree, feel free to tell me how you feel about all of this in a comment. And if you disrespectfully disagree (I don't think that's a term that exists but I'm gonna use it anyways XD) feel free to ignore me and go on with your life, it's not that difficult.

That's all, I think...

Hope you have a lovely day/night.

Imma go to bed and read some fanfics before I fall asleep.

bye bye!!

~~tea

[bikananjarrus]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

finally getting around to this, thank you @astromechs for the tag!!

::

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

29

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

327,391

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mainly star wars and marvel! though i don't write marvel as much anymore (the mcu really burned me too many times lol and just took away a lot of my inspiration/motivation to write for it). so mostly star wars nowadays, but occasionally i will sprinkle in a fic for a different fandom!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a. we find ourselves when we lose everything else - 519 kudos

b. our time in the dark - 518 kudos

c. risk everything we have (and just let our walls cave in) - 426 kudos

d. if loves elastic (then were we born to test it’s reach) - 391 kudos

e. revelations (come to us in recovery) - 388 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

no 🙈. weirdly enough, i was a lot better about responding years ago on my ff. net account. but i don't really do it on ao3, honestly because i'm just a little lazy about it lol. but i promise i read every single one and know that if you've ever left a comment, i appreciate it so so much!!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably broken things. it's a romanogers soulmate last words au which ended in a major character death. but you know. last words au, death. it made sense haha.

i've also written a couple canon-compliant character study type fics, including one for natasha romanoff, one for cassian andor/rogue one crew, some for leia organa (post-tfa), and well, none of those end very happily sooooo.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhhh why was this so hard asdffglkhglj. i write a lot of agnst and hurt/comfort lol. but my fic, the weight of your love, is just pure kanera fluff. and these two kanera fics that i've posted on tumblr (but not on ao3 yet), are just silly and fun and fluffy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully. i mean, i've gotten some not-so-nice comments in the past (again, mainly on ff.net) but i've never gotten anything super aggressive or confrontational, so i'm grateful to be in nice corners of fandom!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

occasionally yes. typically i insert my smut scenes into longer fics though. (i do have a bunch of unpublished half-written smut fics that i haven't gotten the courage to finish and post yet, bc i'm not always the most confident in my smut writing but maybe one day!)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not really. i'm not even the best at coming up with AUs, much less crossovers lol. i think the closest i've gotten to a crossover is an agents of shield/mcu crossover, which shouldn't even BE a crossover, but considering that the mcu never acknowledged AoS, it kinda feels like it is. anyway, wrote a fic where daisy johnson and bucky barnes are bffs, and i'm quite fond of it!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah :/ i had somebody take one of my fics and (related to next question) translate it and put it on wattpad. i couldn't message the author and my attempts to contact wattpad got me nowhere so i kinda just let it go.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

looking at last question, technically yes. but other than that, not yet! i would be very honored if someone wanted to translate one of my fics though, and would have absolutely no problem with it! (so long as they asked and didn't steal it asdkfsjd)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

only bits and pieces of shared aus with friends for fun, but haven’t published anything.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

kanera and romanogers, hands down. kanan and hera are more recent, but i fell in love with both their characters and them as a couple so fast, and i absolutely love writing for them. they're going to stick with me forever. and steve and natasha.... my loves. fell in love with them when i saw catws the first time and haven't looked back. they've stuck with me the longest, i think. and even though i don't write marvel as much anymore, i still think about them a lot, and there's a lot of stevenat wips i have that i still hope to finish one day.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

whew ummmmm. there's a couple of romanogers fics (specifically finishing our time in the dark and the follow-up to revelations which is an endgame fix-it) that i have told myself i will finish. and i want to! but it will really take a major push to get me back into the headspace to write for marvel again. genuinely, endgame drained so much of the love and inspiration i had so 😔 i hope i can prove myself wrong one day!

i also have ambitions to do a star wars sequels rewrite, but it feels so big lol, so idk if i'll ever actually get around to finishing it. but the bits i have written for it i have so much love for.

16. What are your writing strengths?

digging deep into character emotions and their headspaces. that's something i really like exploring. also i think i'm pretty good about including small details, particularly with using the different senses and using those to help set the scene, and whatnot. in short, description and emotion are my strong suits!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

humor. i think i can be funny sometimes in my writing, but i definitely don't think i'm as good at humor as other people. and especially funny dialogue and banter, that's something i feel like i have to think about more. so still working on that!

i also don't know if this is a true weakness, but i literally don't know when to stop writing asdfljgldkj. i feel like lately it's so hard for me to write short fics (unless i do it in a mad burst in one sitting). but if i'm thinking a lot about a fic, chances are it's going to be 5k MINIMUM.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i'm not real comfortable with it, especially if i don't speak the language. if it's a very short phrase or a singular word, i will try to use a translator and other online investigating (and then nicely ask people to correct me in the comments if i'm wrong lol). but if i want to have the character speaking full sentences i will usually type it out in english and then use "they said in [insert language here]" as the tagline.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

if we're going wayyy back, technically the first fic i wrote was a bones fic when i was in middleschool lmao. i wrote it in a notebook, never published it online. but i first posted fics online in high school (as a freshman i think), and i think the first fics i published were for percy jackson and supernatural lol.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

probably revelations. looking at it now, there are certainly things i would change about this one, but i wrote it on and off for 3 years, so i was just really proud when i finally finished it. and there are still a lot of character moments i wrote into this one that i still love.

also you are my solid ground. plot does not really exist in this fic, but i had the best time writing the steve/nat/sam dynamic. literally dream trio.

(real talk, some of my fave fics are ones that i haven't finished yet/haven't published yet. i think my newest favorite fic is the kanan character study one i'm working on now. i still have a little bit to go, but i'm really close to finishing it, and i'm just so proud of it. there's so much about it that i love and i can't wait to share it (hopefully by the end of the year!)).

::

no pressure tagging: @effie-trinket and anyone else who would like to participate!

[starlight-write]

🔥🧠Welcome to Braindump Central™🧠🔥

❤️ Welcome to my own personal Hell! ❤️ Here is where I store all my weird thoughts and writing projects that would have my neurodivergent ass shunned by my friends and family if revealed to the real world.

Originally, this blog was meant solely for writing tk fics (tw btw!). And while that is still our primary focus here, you can also find some regular-ass fanfics on my AO3 account, (which will be revealed soon enough) as well as sleep deprived ramblings, a shit ton of reblogs, and all sorts of other nonsensical shit.

The current annual hyperfixation that haunts my every waking moment is Hazbin Hotel, if that wasn't already obvious enough. So most of what I write will revolve around that.

Other fandoms I will write for are My Hero Academia, The Amazing Digital Circus, and The Owl House. (I live under a rock and don't know much else.)

Requests are Open and here are The Rules™!!!!

1.) Story Prompts, Character Headcannons, Character Pairings and similar ideas are all free game. (Also if you just want to talk, please I'm so lonely.)

1.5.) Requests aren't limited to fandom or tk fics! I love a good challenge so if you got a good prompt you wanna hit me with, I'm all ears!

2.) Obviously, I reserve the right to deny any requests if I can't vibe with it but don't think that means I appreciate your inputs any less!

3.) I will not write anything NSFW. (Dude, there are children here!)

4.) Requests will NOT be answered in a timely manner as I have the time management skills of a narcoleptic seahorse and run off of hyperfixation and spite alone.

5.) I'm not comfortable writing anyone's OCs for fandom fics, sorry.

6.) Keep it silly. Keep it fun. Don't be an asshole.

About the Author: (over sharing)

Here's some personal details about me that I feel like have a significant affect on my perception of reality and therefore my writing as a whole.

First things first, my irl pronouns are she/her. But let's be real, we're on Tumblr so call me whatever you want. Get creative with it.

I'm a 21y/o software engineering student diagnosed ADHD. (I keep praying to God but he's not answering) But y'know, that double homicide clearly wasn't enough and I got nerfed with a chaotic and relatively unstable living situation so if I go ghost for a hot minute that's probably why.

I identify myself as a sapphic-oriented AroAce abomination who ironically, is in a happy relationship with a man... (It was an accident I swear!) I'm just as confused as you are don't worry. So needless to say the pairings I write are going to be affected by that aroace lens but hey, if you're like me and enjoy exploring platonic dynamics a lot more then you've come to the right place!

Your girl also has a condition known as Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MaDD), as if my pea-brain wasn't screwed enough already. Pretty self explanatory, basically means I have this dumbass condition where I have to disassociate into my fantasy worlds for hours and hours on end instead of actually contributing to society. Fun, right? I mention this not only to spread a little awareness but also to *cite my sources* in a way. Pretty sure it's forced me to become a better writer in a way, too. So it's not all bad ig.

If you want any more personal information out of me you either gotta hunt down my FBI agent or fill out my friendship criteria form on Github.

Now scroll and enjoy yourself.

Also if I get one more dm blasting me for the badges I probably won't do anything but IT WAS FOR THE BIT!!!!