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stinkysam · 3 months ago

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Choi Subong “Thanos” - Just boyfriend.

Warning : Dysphoria

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : “Thanos x ftm reader?” -anon

Reader : male (he/you)

A/N : bold is in English. // reader is taking testosterone and has done top surgery but is not out to his parents. // kinda short ;-;

Thanos knew there was something going on with you. Your hair, clothes, your voice, actions. Sometimes you made him think you were more of a boy than a girl.

But you weren’t close enough for him to worry about it and for you to explain everything, until your friendship deepened, spending more time together.

“T, I’m gonna be serious for a minute or two, and your reaction will really matter for the future of our friendship.” You announced one day.

“Okay ?” He replied with a frown, more confused than anything.

“Because I’m doing some spring cleaning in my friendships and I have something to say.”

He looked with wide eyes, waiting for you to continue. Stop creating so much tension.

“I’m trans.”

“Huh ?” He chuckled, confused. You bit down a nervous smile.

“I’d like you to gender me as a man.” You added. “Stop viewing me as a chick and start using he/him when referring to me.”

“Huh ?”

“Huh ?” You imitated him. “Did I stun the great Thanos ?”

“Fuck you mean you’re not a chick ?! Since when ?”

Cue to a long discussion about how you’ve been feeling for a long time and your visits with a lot of professionals.

It took him a bit of time to use your right set of pronouns. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he constantly had to watch his mouth to not accidentally out you to random people, and he loves to yap. Which happened a couple of times. Luckily they just looked at him weirdly before moving on, thinking he just mixed his words up.

So you had an idea. You told him to use your chosen pronouns no matter the situation you were in, and if someone asked something, you’d reply it’s just a private joke between you two. It worked well, but not that much with your parents.

“He ?”

“Yeah… ?” Thanos replied looking at your mom with a confused expression. Did he say something wrong ?

“Yes, sorry, it’s an inside joke. ” You quickly added with a smile, grabbing Thanos by the back of his neck like you would grab a cat doing something it shouldn’t.

“An inside joke ?” Your mom asked, still not understanding.

“Yeah, she’s just so used to calling me a ‘he’ that she does it naturally now.” You flashed her a smile, hoping she’d bite and leave you alone. “Right Subong ?”

“Uh, yeah…”

“Maybe if you looked less like a man that wouldn’t happen. Did you stop putting the padded push up bras I bought you ? It looks like your boobs completely disappeared.” She approached to put her hands on your chest but you pulled away, taking a step back.

“I’m old enough to buy my own.”

“Put them back on and that man will stop calling you a ‘he’. He’ll easily remember you’re a girl.” She said, walking away.

You blinked slowly, grimacing, lightly squeezing Thanos’ neck. You felt like you were back in school.

“I’m sorry.” Thanos whispered.

“Shut up.”

He’s met a couple trans people here and there, mainly fans who corrected him when he addressed them wrong. He just looked at them confused and moved on. Okay, whatever, next.

“Weird, I met a dude who told me he wasn’t one.” He says in a voice message a few minutes after leaving said fan.

“It means that person is probably trans.” You sent back with a laugh.

“What, like you ?”

“Yeah but the other way around.”

“Can’t he… Mh… She ? Should I say she ? Can’t she donate her dick to you ?”

“Yes, she. And no it doesn’t work that way. And maybe she already got rid of it.”

“What do they do with it ? Once the dick is detached ?”

“How do you think they make dildos ?” You replied laughing before continuing. “No, the dick isn’t detached, it’s just heavily modified so it becomes a vagina. The rest that’s useless is discarded. Into the trash can~”

“Wait- so you can’t give her your boobs either ?”

“Ah, this hurts, T. I got them removed a year ago.” You whined. “Didn’t my mom speak about them in front of you one day, talking about how they disappeared ?”

“It wasn’t because you didn’t put on the bras she gave you ?”

“No ! I had boobs you could see even without bras, come on !”

“I never saw them.”

“You perv.” You laughed. “Stop looking for people’s boobs.”

“No~”

“Anyway. I used to alway put on a binder so I guess you couldn’t see the difference once I got them removed.”

“How was I supposed to know, then !? You tell me nothing !”

“Ah, fucking bastard, now it’s my fault ?! We weren’t big friends back then, why would I tell you ? Huh ?!”

“Because we’re best friends now ! We tell each other when we take a shit, no ? So tell me when you do something.”

You send him a voice message of you just sighing very loudly.

“Okay. I’ll tell you when I get a dick, then.” You added in another message.

“Send me pictures, okay ?”

“Fuck off.” You replied, laughing.

He’s really great and supportive but he makes mistakes by thinking too much sometimes.

“What’s up my girlboyfriend ?” Thanos asked, waving his hands in the air, approaching you.

You slowly looked away from your laptop, turning to him, looking at him in confusion.

“What ?” You asked calmly.

“My girlboyfriend.” He repeated confidently.

You slowly shook your head.

“No.” At his lack of response you continued. “Why the fuck- why would you call me girlboyfriend ?” You leaned closer, trying to understand his thought process.

“Because you were a girl… and now you’re a boy.” He stated, as if it was the most logical thing.

“What ? Why-” You rubbed your face. “Why would you mix past and present ? And I wasn’t a girl, I was still a boy, I just didn’t know it ? Were you really straight before realizing you were actually bisexual ?”

He looked at you then to the sides, thinking while pouting.

“Boyfriend ?” He finally asked, making you chuckle lightly.

“Yeah !”

“Okay.” He nodded, throwing his hands in the air again.

There are times where your mood is at an all time low. Dysphoria kicking your ass as you can’t find what to wear to ease it a bit. It wasn’t your chest the problem, but your overall appearance. Though you had a packer on, you knew it was fake and your brain refused to not think about it.

You’d sometimes refuse to hang out or go on dates because of it. And each time you mentioned why, Thanos quickly rushed to your place, ringing your doorbell constantly till you finally opened him, ready to hype you up.

He sometimes brings a bag of his own clothes so you could wear them. You already buy yours in men’s sections either on the internet or physically but wearing his baggy clothes does help a bit.

He’s not the type to gently hype you, coaxing you into feeling yourself manly enough. He’ll literally yell at you.

“What are you on about ?! Are you some type of dumbass ?!” He’s already yelling as soon as you open the door.

You glared weakly at him, already wanting to kick him out.

“Quickly feel normal again ! You’re a man, so man up !” He strongly patted your arm, nearly making you stumble to the side.

“Hey, you wanna fight ?! Why are you yelling at me like that ?! You come into my house and dare insult me ?! The fucking nerves !”

“I’m not gonna pick you up piece by piece ! Are you crazy ?! You’re a man, what part of you screams the opposite ?!”

He had touched a sore spot.

“So many parts of my body are screaming it ! Are you fucking blind ?! My pussy, my scars, my muscles- my… ” You sighed, tired, letting yourself fall onto the couch with a groan. “Everything.” You added, your arm covering your face. You've had enough.

You loved being able to take testosterone, going to the gym to define your muscles, watching YouTube videos to change your voice, but it wasn’t going fast enough and you wished you didn’t have to do that and more. It was so slow and you’d have to take testosterone all your life, a constant reminder you weren’t a biological man.

He stared at you, disconcerted. Generally you’d yell back at him, arguing back and forth till everything that frustrated you was out the window. But sometimes it didn’t work, your thoughts and anxiety getting the best of you.

Sighing, Thanos approached you, unsure if you wanted space or not. He decided to try anyway, squeezing himself between you and the backrest of the couch, wrapping his arms around you.

“Come on. You’re still a man.”

You hummed, trying to get a hold of yourself. Though you had already cried before him, you didn’t like doing so, feeling too weak.

“You should-”

“I don’t want problem solving.” You quickly said, cutting him off. You already knew what he was gonna say anyway.

He rubbed your back with one hand, the other one pulling your arms away from your face, letting him plant a kiss on your forehead.

You moved closer, as if it was possible, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, his fingers now tapping rhythmically on your back.

“Keep being patient. Your bottom surgery is already planned, anyway.”

“I know.” You replied quietly, sighing. “But it’s so far away.”

“When you go back to Thailand I’ll follow you, okay ? Don’t want you to feel too much at home and never come back to me.”

You smiled weakly, closing your eyes.

“Ah… How will I get rid of you then ?”

“Can’t and won’t.”

#male reader #m!reader #thanos squid game #squid game x m!reader #squid game x male reader #squid game 2 #squid game #choi su bong x m!reader #choi subong x male reader #choi su bong x male reader #choi subong #choi subong x m!reader #choi su bong

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akula-blue · 1 month ago

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Ok so we've talked about mech dysphoria and dysmorphia before yeah? Your body doesn't feel the same when you climb out of a mech, doesn't feel 'right' anymore.

Too few limbs, not enough sensors, everything feels too big, now that you're not? There's no more combat stims and pleasure chemicals either, you're down to just your stock standard dopamine, which you have a clinical deficiency of now, btw. You struggle to pick objects up, your hands an unfamiliar shape, with not enough strength. You struggle to get out of bed sometimes because you can't tell what proportions things should be anymore?

Yeah, all that has been discussed to death.

What about communication?

What about pilots who, just, can't talk outside of their mech? Become socially inept without all the assistant systems they plug themselves into within the cockpit?

Think about it, mech combat becomes very disorganised very fast if it's allowed to. We are talking clashes of potentially dozens of war machines, the size of buildings, with enough guns to level cities. Orders need to be direct, easily understandable, followed immediately, actually projected onto the pilot's vision.

Every order, every report, every sentence, is punctuated by hundreds of layers of feedback. Tactical simulations and overlays, attachments for battlefield plans, every order having many implied conditions transmitted to the pilot through code and dictionary references to make sure a pilot cannot POSSIBLY misinterpret it in the few seconds before the command should be executed. On top of that, each order can also be wired to project a different cocktail of stim/pleasure chems/whatever have you, ensuring a pilot knows exactly what to feel about the order, establishing the priority of it through the pilots own brain chemistry.

And the same can be true about communications between squad mates! So much of it would be sending those same simulations around as sit reps, or enormous data packets containing not just the words the pilot is trying to say, but also links to relevant information and mountains of meta data, establishing tone, intention, context. Within the cockpit, a portion of the onboard AI is delegated to parsing this metadata, projecting it into the pilots consciousness, speeding up the process of understanding these mountains of digital documents to mere moments.

Now put a person used to that in a social setting. Where they are not made instantly aware of what someone is talking about or referring to. Where they cannot just query an AI and receive every piece of relevant info at once. Where they have to understand the subtext of what that person is saying without any metadata to indicate sarcasm, annoyance, disinterest. Where they are unable to understand the many nuances of communication and body language and expression without the helpful hand of their mech's processors. Hell, where they don't know how hearing certain things should make them feel without the presence of the chemicals to guide their response. Imagine them seeming lost outside of their mech, unable to talk or connect anymore, the social, human part of their brain having atrophied from disuse much like their neurotransmitter production. Imagine them scurrying back to the safety of their mech where, in the digitally overlaid world, everything is so much clearer and understandable and-

HAS THIS BECOME AN AUTISM METAPHOR???

#mech posting #mech #mecha #mech pilot #mechsploitation #autism #autism metaphor #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #lancer #lamcerrpg

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separatetheyolk · 2 days ago

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I need need neeeeeed headcanons of a trans!reader and Lewis Hamilton featuring Isack Hadjar, they’re little selfie moment is living rent free in my head rn

Lewis Hamilton X Trans!Driver!Reader

ʚɞfeaturing: Lewis Hamilton & Isack Hadjar

ʚɞ Trans!Driver!Reader headcannons

ʚɞ contents: mentions of needles, surgery, media, dysphoria obvs

ʚɞ word count: 1,135

ʚɞ note: trans man reader intended. He/him pronouns used.

✰ Coming out:

He was a little blind sighted at first

Initially, you took that as he was against the whole thing

He quickly cleared that up

If over text/phone call, he'd go over the very basics with you. Name, pronouns, if there were any plans on coming out publicly, who knew, how should he address you to others, that kinda thing

He'd save the more in depth topics to talk about in person. Whether that would be in a few hours or a few weeks

Transition goals, coming out to the public/family/friends if you haven't by the time he's home, things he can do to make your life easier, how he should address transphobia, so on so forth

This man would RESEARCH

Like im talking what would usually be a minimalist phone/laptop with about 4 tabs open at any one time would turn into an absolute shambles of about thrity tabs and 4 separate notes

Would absolutely buy a new notebook JUST for writing down what he's learnt

If you learnt about this he would turn into a blushing, stuttering mess

Would absolutely help you come out to the rest of the drivers/crews if you needed. Would tell them for you if you decide that's best

Would absolutely drive home his support for the LGBT community, support/fund charities, create spaces for them in racing, stand out against injustices

✰ Transition:

The first thing that would be discussed in regards to your transition would be what would you want done

He'd make a list

Though obviously would leave it open for you to add or take away things

Take things at your pace

With your permission, he'd probably take care of the forms side of things such as name changes, gender markers, new passports, visas, paddock passes

Would help you to plan your transition around the F1 seasons

For the sake of easiness on my part we'll say you want top surgery and testoseterone a short haircut and all the things that come with a social transition

Would help you find a barber you like and would make sure they're LGBT friendly and do home visits. Partly for your comfortablility with not wanting to be stared at by other clients but also because media, fans, photos, big nono

Would help you gain your diagnosis of gender dysphoria

Then would help you with getting testosterone

Obviously, because of going on testosterone, the question of kids/egg freezing would come up

Essentially, it came down to Lewis is 40 now, you're both focusing on careers, but you never know so best to just freeze them. Just incase

If you don't use them? Eh, oh well.

If he's afraid of needles (?? The guy shits himself at the sight of an onion but drives f1 cars and scares tigers so i really dont know?? He also has tattoos? But so do I and i'm still scared of them so??) he'd get over them to help you with T shots

Sit there and massage your thigh if it started to hurt after the shot/if your nerves start to get shot from the injections. Would not stop unless you say your uncomfortable or the pain dies down

Would wait on you hand and foot after your top surgery.

Absolutely advocate for you medically if you needed him to. "He's struggling to keep down food" "He said he's in pain. Can you up the pain medication or no?" "Hey, just calling to ask if we can loosen the bandages at all? He say's the drains feel like they're cutting his skin"

Bad dysphoria day? "Here babe, take my hoodie" "You need some privacy?" "Come on, lets get you away from these cameras" "I know you don't like wearing the race suit but you can't race in your binder" "Lazy day? Sure, we can do that"

If and when you're comfortable, he'd 100% worship your body. He might not 100% understand why you dislike it, but damn he's gonna help you to like it even if it's just for an hour

He'd either stand in front of wind to block it or direct you out the way of it to stop it from showing your waist and chest because he can't have you feeling uncomfortable :(

Just small things like that. Things that most probably wouldn't even think of but he does

✰ Fashion:

He would defo help you explore mens fashion

I mean, this is Sir Lewis Hamilton afterall

He'd keep mental notes of what styles you liked, the different cuts, the fabrics, even ones you'd shown intrest in but too scared to try on

He'd also probably take mental notes of what shirts you liked but didn't want to buy due to lack of top surgery

And then would buy them for you after you've had it and healed

Ofc, lots of baggy clothing and hoodies on standby too

Would probably start wearing them more often for you incase you ever needed it

If he's not wearing one it's probably in a bag

Would teach you how to layer clothes to hide your waist

Notices how your jeans are too long length wise but fit your waist so offers to get them tailored

Quickly learns what colours hide shadows of your chest better

When bad dysphoria days fall on hot days and you're wearing thick clothing, this man is reminding you to drink more than a race engineer

Would sneak off to help you put your binder on before any podium celebrations regardless on weather your up there or not

Because sweaty, binder sticks, get stuck if you attempt to put it on alone

Eventually FIA had to stop fining you for being late after your team and fans threw the word "discrimination" around

Defo have like 5 different binders

✰ Media:

Lewis isn't typically one for confrontation in public. Though would absolutely stand by you in boycotting from races in *cough*certain*cough* countries.

If you're in a photo and you decide you don't like it, photo will immediately be deleted and another will be taken without you in it if thats what you want. Zero questions asked

More recently the selfie with Isack. He knew immediately you hated it. He prompted Isack to delete it then encouraged him to take a new selfie without you in it

He was a little confused

Lewis let you explain in private

Say no more, first photo deleted

Doesn’t take a single "joke" photo of you, doesn’t post any photos online with you in them without your permission. Even if you're barely recognisable in the background and it's on his private accounts

Honestly, Isack would be an absolute sweetheart about it all

Lewis would block you from cameras if needed

Tbh most of the grid would do that

Basically, the guy would be your absolute rock.

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snalsupremacy · 11 months ago

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12 MANGA BY LGBT+ CREATORS

Happy pride month!! My time has come. Years of seeking lgbt manga lead me some great finds, and here's all the ones written by openly LGBT mangaka!

1- Our Dreams At Dusk by Yuhki Kamitani, an asexual x-gender creator!

A classic in the lgbt manga niche. Literally google "lgbt manga" and you'll find this one in the top results. It's popular for a reason! Starting Tasuku, a gay teen, the manga deals with members of the queer community from all walks of life living in a small town, and how being queer impact their lives. Yuhki Kamitani's poetic and abstract story telling abilities enhances a simple story line into one of the best emotional roller-coasters you'll ever ride on. TW: Attempt suicide, mentions of said attempt, groping of a minor, lots of homophobia

2- I Think Our Son is Gay by Okura, a gay creator!

An ADORABLE story about a progressive mom trying to learn more about how to support her closeted gay son without making it obvious that she knows. Super sweet and adorable, and the author's notes were so touching! queer joy all around

TW: Discussions and verbal displays of homophobia

3- Boys Run The Riot by Keito Gaku, a transmasc creator!

Another classic in this niche. The story follows a trans boy named Ryo who bonds with the trouble student Jin over men's fashion, and together they decide to start a fashion brand. It's refreshing to see the struggles of a trans boy portrayed so genuine and authentically.

TW: Gender dysphoria, outing

4- My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Kabi Nagata, a lesbian creator!

Kabi Nagata is an biographical essayist that publishes all her work in manga form. In one of her most popular works, My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness, Kabi tells the series of the events that led her to sleeping with a lesbian sex worker. Bold and authentic, Kabi has no fear to portray the ugly and fucked up parts of mental illness, in turn crafting an intimate and touching story.

TW: Self-harm, eating disorder, lots of discussions of mental illness, sexuality, and gender.

5- The Bride was a Boy by Chii, a transfem creator!

The biographical tale of the author, Chii, from realizing she's trans to meeting her husband, all told through 4-koma stories! The adorable chibi art-style and light-heartedness of this manga is sure to warm anyone's hearts! It's great to see the story of a trans woman told in such an optimistic and happy way. Details like the pop-ups of information about LGBT and Trans issues to the game-board illustrating her transition journey really show how proud Chii is of her identity, as she should!

TW: None that I remember

6- My Brother's Husband by Gengoroh Tagame, a gay creator!

The #1 non-sexual Bara, made by the #1 bara author. Tagame may be more known for his NSFW works, but his first SFW serialization shows the experience he's gained through the decades working on manga, even winning multiple awards (-) . After single father Yaichi's estranged brother passed away, Yaichi gets visited by his Canadian husband, Mike. A beautiful and sweet story of dealing with loss and overcoming homophobia, ft the cutest little child character and a very healthy divorced couple!

TW: Nudity (Technically non-sexual, but Tagame is a bear and it shows), Grief and loss of a loved one

7- To Strip The Flesh by Oto Toda, a transmasc creator!

An anthology book of various stories by Toda. The first of which, To Strip the Flesh (Where the manga gets its namesake) is inspired by the author's experience with dysphoria and coming out as a trans men. Toda was the assistant of Tatsuki Fujimoto (Chainsaw Men) during the serialization of Fire Punch.

TWs: Gender Dysphoria, gore, mutilation (no blood shown), house invasion, nudity, hunting and skinning of animals, gunshot wound, mysoginy

8-Gay Fuuzoku no Mochigi-san - Sexuality Is Life - by Mochigi, a gay creator!

Originally published on Twitter, Mochigi tells of his experience running away from home and coming to work in the bustling Shinjuku Ni-Chome, Tokyo's gay neighborhood. Through his sex work and work in gay bars, Mochigi tells an authentic story of the ups and downs of the gay culture in Tokyo.

TWs: Though not visually graphic, it goes into a lot of details about gay sex work

9- Vassalord by Nanae Chrono, a transmasc creator!

Y'all aren't ready for the synopsis... ok so this cyborg vampire who works for the Vatican is frenemies with this fuckboy vampire. They fight then make up then kiss and break-up (YOU!). Together they go on missions set by the church. Extremely emo and edgy vampires, actually really great action, and all the charm of early 2000's BL, now with extra blood! Nanae Chromo came out on twitter as trans only recently, and many news sources including Anime List still lists him as Female unfortunately.

TW: Bloody fights, enough homoeroticism to make your teeth rot

10- X-Gender by Asuka Miyazaki, a X-gender creator!

Miyazaki (AFAB) realizes at age 33 that they not only are X-gender, but like woman as well! The relatable and awkward biographical story of the author's experiences and new discoveries about their identity and the community. The manga also takes the time to explain all the terms used in the LGBT community, making it very accessible to those out of the loop! Also, the art-style is very cute.

TW: Lots of talks about sex and gender, possibly other things as I have not read it yet

11- Why I Adopted my Husband by Yuta Yagi, a gay creator!

The cute auto biography of Yuta and Kyota, a gay couple who have been dating for almost 20 years. The manga talks about not only their relationship, but also what it's like to live as a gay couple in Japan, and the draws and benefits of adoption as a way to seek the same legal rights of straight couples.

TWs: None

• Final Word •

I made this list to celebrate all the brave people who are open about their identities, but I also wanna point out that there are incredible LGBT manga out there written by anonymous or even straight creators!

Happy pride month to everyone but specially all the people living in places where it's not safe to be openly LGBT, everyday that you breathe is an act of rebellion, and we should be proud of that!

Here's a quickie of some other LGBT manga that didn't make the list for some reason or another- hmu if u want more details on them or just wanna talk about lgbt manga in general!

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genderkoolaid · 1 year ago

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i feel like ive been seeing more posts about packers (at least jokes about them) which is really nice. i feel like there really isn't a lot of discussion around bottom dysphoria wrt Not having a penis (mostly because i think people are uncomfortable dealing with ideas around small/impotent/otherwise "non-functioning" penises) & as someone who no longer binds but always packs it's just nice to see it acknowledged & normalized

#m.

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genderqueerdykes · 11 months ago

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how do i try to put this for people who get confused about aromantic lesbians and gays. not every aro lesbian is like this so disclosure: i am talking about my experience as an aro lesbian, but i feel like it's still important to discuss. lesbians can be aromantic and asexual, and even both- i am on the ace spectrum, so i can be considered an aroace lesbian. the thing is, i still experience lesbian and sapphic attraction even if it's not necessary romantic.

the way i try to phrase it is i have a deep attraction toward all dykes: butches, studs, bulldykes, femmes, lesboys, transbians, non binary dykes, intersex dykes, transmasc, ftm & trans male dykes, transfem dykes, genderqueer dykes, male dykes, bigender dykes, genderfluid dykes, two-spirit dykes. and sapphic identifying women, men & people. i'm dyke oriented. i want to be around other dykes of any identity- i want to live in domestic environmnets with other lesbians & dykes, taking care of one another, making sure we're alright.

i want to be there for other dykes in my community. i want to come visit to check on how they're doing when they're sick. i wanna be there to listen to the stone butches when they feel estranged. i want to give them groceries that i didn't end up liking but i know they would. i want to laugh and joke and goof off with other dykes. i want to be there to listen when they have gender or identity dysphoria. i wanna go bowling with the butches. i wanna workout at the gym with the bulls. i wanna go clothes shopping with the lesboys & boydykes to find them clothes that make them feel like themselves. i want to give other dykes a place to stay when they're going through hard times. i want to befriend with the weird "crazy" "ugly" dykes who are freaky. i want to be there when something scary happens so i can provide comfort and support. i want to help give resources and aid to other poor dykes who need it.

there are a lot of ways to be a dyke, lesbian, or sapphic. whatever you want to call yourself under this umbrella, there are a tons of ways to express it. i don't have to want to cuddle, kiss or hug other dykes in a romantic fashion. maybe i like surrounding myself with other dykes. maybe i just really prefer the company of other dykes. it's not that hard to wrap one's brain around once you break it down like that. there's a million other ways to be in someone else's company and spend time together. i assure you there is more to adult relationships than sex and romance. those are wonderful things for the people who enjoy them, but for those of us who are aromantic and/or asexual, there are many other ways to enjoy the company of other folks in a very queer fashion.

happy pride to every aromantic spectrum lesbian, dyke & sapphic person, you deserve to be seen and heard just as much as every other dyke. you matter

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heyiwrotesomethings · 9 months ago

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Metamorphosis

Shinobu Kochou x Trans She/Her Reader

A/N: Sorry for the insane wait! I’m gonna take a nap now! Hopefully the typos aren’t horrible. Warning: Misgendering both intentional and not, gender dysphoria, coming out, brief discussion of potential surgery and use of medication. If there is more I should mention, please let me know. Thank you for reading! Word Count: 5,518

Shinobu was a very busy woman, countless slayers passed through her doors, many of which she wouldn’t even see during their visit, taken care of by one of the other residents while she was on missions or furthering her research.

However, there were times when her intervention was crucial, or she simply took an interest in those who happened to cross her path and give a little more of her time and consideration where she could. Case and point, Tanjiro and company, but without the rambunctious quartet chasing each other around the mansion at this early morning hour, her attention was caught by another.

The slayer waiting for assistance in her infirmary today appeared perfectly healthy, though maybe a bit nervous and sleep deprived if the bags under each eye were anything to go by. Being nervous was common enough amongst patients, even if they were only there for a run-of-the-mill check-up. However, those check-ups usually weren’t at five in the morning. Shinobu could have left it to one of the other girls or a Kakushi to handle, but something told her to take on this patient herself.

“My, you’re here early, good morning!” She spoke pleasantly as she began her approach, startling the patient out of their thoughts. Shinobu noted that he seemed to become more agitated and on edge.

“Good morning, Kochou-sama.” The slayer spoke softly, then gave Shinobu an abrupt bow, his long ponytail nearly cracking like a whip from the force.

Shinobu hummed in amusement and took a seat beside the cot her patient had chosen as a tentative perch while waiting for assistance.

“Well, I will say you look perfectly healthy from where I’m sitting. If you’re here for a physical or something minor, we usually ask that you make an appointment, but as you can see it’s one of those rare, quiet mornings so I’ll let it slide just this once, okay?” She informed, throwing in a playful wink for good measure.

The patient seemed conflicted, and to Shinobu it seemed that he had something he really wanted to say, but he managed to swallow it down for better or for worse, looking down at his tightly clasped hands.

“I’m sorry, I should have thought about that.”

“No harm done.” Shinobu assured, gesturing with her hand towards her office, thinking a more private space would be appreciated, “Come along and we’ll see how everything is going, alright?”

The patient seemed to hesitate again, but eventually replied with a hoarse, “Alright.”

Shinobu led the slayer to her office and motioned for them to sit as she closed the door behind them. She then began to carry out the standard exam. She pulled out the slayer’s medical history file, saying the name aloud to make sure she had the right one. The patient seemed to tense, but nodded stiffly in confirmation. Shinobu had chalked it up to more nerves and continued on with the exam.

Well, as much as she could since he was stubbornly insistent on keeping his shirt on, but Shinobu worked around it. It was actually a bit refreshing considering most men that walked through her doors couldn’t wait to show off. Once she checked over all she could, Shinobu sat back in her seat.

“Well, Ln-san, everything here checks out. Nothing to worry about, you’re a perfectly healthy young man, congratulations.” Shinobu lightly joked and smiled reassuringly and put in a few finishing notes on the record. “You’re free to go.”

“O-kay.”

Shinobu’s pen froze mid-stroke upon hearing how the slayer’s voice cracked, she glanced up with a slightly startled look upon her face. Her patient seemed to be breathing heavier, his eyes shined with a wet film of held back tears, causing Shinobu to sit up straighter in her chair, more alert.

“Oh dear, is something the matter?” She asked innocently, unaware of just how heavy the answer to that question would be.

The slayer’s bottom lip trembled as he tried to put on a brave face. Shinobu noted how his shoulders shook, the inhales of air when he tried to speak were noisy and abrupt. Shinobu kept calm and attempted to coax him.

“I don’t know what to do, Kochou-sama…”

“About what?” She asked gently.

A sort of watery, abrupt guffaw left the slayer’s mouth, a shake of the head and a frustrated toss of the hands.

“See, I couldn’t sleep for months because it was all I could think about… I thought about what I would do and how to explain… but now that I’m here… I- it’s all slipped my mind! It’s been slowly eating away at me for years, and now that I’m finally trying to say it out loud to someone, I can’t do it!”

“For simply slipping your mind, you sure seem to be intimately aware of your troubles. You’re just dancing around the issue for whatever reason that may be, but not quite saying it.” Shinobu leaned forward in her chair. “As insurmountable as it may seem to you, I cannot help if I don’t know what is keeping you up at night. You need to take that step yourself. The words don’t have to be perfectly articulate from the get go. You can always refine it once you get something out.”

The slayer continued to be conflicted, earning a sigh and a firm stare from Shinobu. She could clearly see this was a sensitive issue, but she truly could not sit here all day even if she wanted to. She could send the slayer Aoi’s way and maybe check on the situation later, but for now…

“I apologize for rushing you, but I do have other engagements—“

“I’m a woman!” They blurted hastily, hands tightly pressed together.

“…O-Oh!” Shinobu blinked in surprise, then reached for the slayer’s file again. “I’m sorry… whoever drafted your papers must have made an error.”

“Yes! Well, no, but yes. Um, it was ‘right’, given how I was born, but as I got a little older and thought about it more, the more it felt like it didn’t fit.” The slayer swallowed thickly, “I’ve been raised male, but that never felt quite right and… I know what I want now, what feels right and, and makes me feel like I can breathe and makes everything feel a little less suffocating. I just… there are some things about my body and how people perceive me that make me uncomfortable on the good days and like I could just about die on the bad days and I don’t really know how to do anything about it and I need help, please.”

Now that the slayer had divulged her plight to Shinobu, the slayer felt a strange weightlessness, but also like she might throw up from the stress and uncertainty of how Shinobu would process this information. They were practically strangers, she was taking a huge risk confiding in her.

Shinobu wasn’t going to let that look of dread quickly growing in the slayer’s eyes continue, she laid the file flat on her desk and dipped a pen in ink. After pushing her sleeve up, she smudged out the gender and swiftly replaced it. The slayer focused on the motion, lips parting in surprise. Shinobu smiled reassuringly, tapping the paper.

“Anything else that needs to be edited?” Shinobu inquired warmly, “It looks a little messy now, but once the proper corrections are made, a new one can be drafted.”

The tears that had weld up in the slayer’s eyes for a myriad of reasons in the past twenty-four hours finally bubbled past the dam and streamed down her face. She hurriedly tried to wipe them away.

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright, take your time.” Shinobu offered a handkerchief that was graciously accepted. After a minute, she pulled herself together, still a little weepy, but able to better communicate her wishes.

“M-my name. Could you change that too?” She asked, hopefully.

“Easily.” Shinobu affirmed. “Do you already have something in mind already? If not, I’m sure I could come up with something good.” Shinobu’s mind was already turning through a list of possibilities, even recycling some of the unjustly rejected names she had chosen when they had taken Kanao in.

Unfortunately for Shinobu, but fortunately for the slayer, she had already thought about this extensively and had a name at the ready.

“Yn.” She had answered, Yn had said the name to herself before, whispered it under her breath some late nights when she could not sleep, along with others that stood out to her, finding this particular name to be her favorite. Saying it aloud to someone else, someone she hoped would continue to be as accepting as she seemed to be right now, it felt even better.

Shinobu hummed and nodded, striking out the discarded name and putting the proper one in its place.

“And so it shall be.”

***

Yn was nervous, so so so nervous, but also excited. After having her latest late night crisis that had brought her to the steps of the Butterfly Mansion a week ago, she was coming back with a proper appointment. Shinobu had told her she would need to do some research on the science-y end of things, which had surprised Yn a bit.

She didn’t really know what to expect when getting Shinobu involved, but knowing she was packing extra specialized research into her already busy schedule just for Yn really blew her away. She couldn’t have been more grateful, which was why she was bringing a basket of treats as a thank you.

She wasn’t really sure what Shinobu liked… so she made a little bit of everything. Worst came to worst, at least the other residents might enjoy it. Though she really hoped Shinobu would like at least one thing she baked to make sure the extra hours she spent late last night were not used in vein. Not that she would have been able to sleep anyway.

She weaved her way through the garden and left her shoes at the entrance, making her way through the winding halls until she made it back to Shinobu’s office. After a couple of deep breaths, she knocked on the door before she could lose her nerve.

“Come in.”

“Pardon the intrusion.” Yn slid the door open and took pause upon seeing the amount of books spread around the office. There had been plenty of books before, but they were all neatly tucked away in their proper shelves. Now the quantity had appeared to noticeably increase and was liberally spread across almost every surface.

Shinobu was in between two precarious stacks at her desk, hair a bit mussed and a somewhat irradiated look in her eyes as she skimmed the page she was hunched over. She didn’t look extremely disheveled at all, but from what Yn knew of Shinobu’s reputation, appearing even a little out of sorts seemed unusual.

Something about it was highly attractive though.

Yn shook her head of the thought and gently knocked on the doorframe to remind Shinobu of her presence because even though she had invited Yn in, she had yet to look up.

“Aoi, I expressed…“ Shinobu’s gaze flickered upward and she seemed to freeze momentarily before she tried to side-eye the clock she kept on her desk. Tried to, because it was somewhere behind a wall of books.

“Oh!” She cleared her throat and stood from her desk. “My, is it that time already? I was just getting ready for you. Pardon the mess.”

It was pretty clear to Yn, that Shinobu had not at all been ready to receive her, but it was unnecessarily cute by how much Shinobu was trying to downplay just how caught off guard she was.

“It’s no problem. I uh, I like to read too.” Yn twirled the basket in her hands as Shinobu started slinging books back into their proper place in the shelves. “…Can I help?”

“Don’t trouble yourself, have a seat and I’ll be with you shortly…” Shinobu inhaled, smelling a sugary scent that reminded her she had neglected to eat breakfast, and lunch for that matter. She shoved a couple more books into place, the sound overtaking the sudden grumble of her stomach. She glanced curiously at the basket on Yn’s lap. “What do you have there?”

“I made some things as a thank you.” Yn looked down at her basket, her cheeks feeling a bit warm. “I don’t know what you like, but I wanted to bring something.”

Shinobu strode back, glancing over Yn’s shoulder into the basket. She blinked in surprise.

“You made all of this? For me?”

“Yes, please take it.” She offered Shinobu the basket. “If you aren’t a fan, please share them with the girls. I’d ask if you could please tell me your preferences so I can try to thank you again properly.”

Shinobu was so hungry at this point, she would eat a slice of stale bread if it was available, but this basket of treats was nothing less than immaculate. She graciously accepted.

“No, this is a lovely gift, thank you.” Shinobu said, graciously. “I can’t say I feel like I deserve such an opulent assortment just yet, but I will give you my best.” Her stomach reminded her of its existence yet again. “Would you find it terribly rude of me to indulge as we speak?”

“Absolutely not, go ahead.”

“Thank you.” Shinobu eased herself into her chair and retrieved a sweet bread roll that was calling her name. “Please help yourself as well if you’d like.”

“That’s alright, I’ve had my fair share.” Yn laughed, sheepishly.

Shinobu bit into the roll and felt better the instant she swallowed the first bite. She really needed that. On the second bite, she actually took the time to taste and she mourned the quick departure of the first.

“This is very good, Ln-san.” She praised. “You are really quite skilled.”

Yn felt a weight lift off of her shoulders, so much so she might float away from the praise. “Thank you so much! I’m so glad you like it!”

Shinobu finished the roll in a couple more bites and resisted the urge to pick through the basket for something else to sample. There were important matters to attend to after all and she had already been more frazzled than she would have ever liked to be in polite company.

She still had a couple books of her desk, certain pages book marked and ready to be referenced. Aggravatingly brief and scarce pages, to be precise. Better than absolutely nothing, she supposed.

“Let’s get the ball rolling then, shall we?”

Yn felt the nerves and excitement bubble within her once more. She couldn’t believe she was actually here, talking to someone. Not just someone, but a person who had the means and know-how to… to do what exactly, Yn wasn’t sure, but she was ready to hear her options.

“Alright,” Shinobu exhales, “what you’ve disclosed to me, it’s not unheard of. Unfortunately, my collection is lacking on in depth information. I do apologize for that, but I am getting my hands on a few works dedicated to the topic, it’ll just take some time for them to arrive.”

“It’s already beyond my expectations that I’m talking to anyone about this at all. I really can’t thank you enough for going through all this trouble for me.” Yn tried to put as much gratitude into her voice as she could.

“You’ve done more than enough thanking for one day and probably for the duration of however long it takes you to get to a more comfortable place in your presentation.” Shinobu assured with a kind smile, sliding a book over to Yn. “Let’s see what we know so far…”

***

So far so good… Yn couldn’t complain, she just wished she could feel a difference with the little pills she had each morning. Shinobu said they could possibly up the dosages later, but she wanted to start small and monitor for any negative side effects.

Her other option, though a quicker result, would be a highly experimental surgical procedure. Just listening to Shinobu explain how she might accomplish such a thing made Yn feel more than a little faint. Shinobu assured she would study the logistics of such a procedure before attempting it herself, but Yn wasn’t in a hurry to go under the knife so she could live with her little cocktail of estrogen pills and testosterone blockers that Shinobu and Aoi cobbled together.

Okay, that was unfair choice of words, Shinobu had worked tirelessly researching hormones and how to stimulate and stagnate them. It only took her about two months before she had something she was confident enough in to prescribe to Yn and she couldn’t have been more grateful, truly, again, she just really wished she could notice even the slightest change.

She sighed and put the pill bottle down, noticing a very light clinking sound as she did so. Curiously, she picks up another one of the bottles and gives it a little shake. She would have to get those refilled…

A warmth buzzed in her chest, an excuse to go back to the Butterfly Estate! Shinobu had said she could stop by anytime… but it never felt right to invite herself over, especially when Shinobu was always so busy. There wasn’t a guarantee that she would even be there at all.

However, her medication running low was the perfect excuse to test her luck and find out if Shinobu was around. If nothing else, it was always nice to see the others and seeing the younger ones smile when she came bearing treats was always a delight. So, she packed up some dango she had made yesterday and set off.

She was greeted as soon as she made it to the gates, Sumi, Kiyo and Naho running over from the garden. They tried not to look too hopeful about the contents of Yn’s bag, but Yn could plainly see how eager they were for a treat and she was happy to oblige.

“You’re going to spoil them, you know.” Aoi said, coming out of the mansion with a basket of laundry. She set the basket down and brushed her hands down her front. “We were wondering when you might make an appearance. Shinobu-sama was getting antsy, you shouldn’t wait until you’re down to the wire on your medication before coming in for a refill. You never know what might come up.”

“Sorry,” Yn rubbed the back of her neck, “I didn’t think about that.”

Aoi sighed and shook her head. “No harm done. Come with me and I’ll refill your prescription. After that, Shinobu-sama will want to check you over. It’s a little unfortunate that she’s in the middle of entertaining right now.”

“Entertaining?”

Before Aoi could elaborate, Shinobu happened to turn the corner, chatting with the Love Hashira beside her. Shinobu looked up and smiled warmly, making Yn’s heart flutter.

“Hello there, Ln-san, I was starting to worry about you.” Shinobu scolded jokingly.

“I’m sorry, Kochou-sama, I didn’t realize I was being missed.” Yn smiled sheepishly.

“Shinobu-chan!” Mitsuri, the Love Hashira, tugged on Shinobu’s haori, “Introduce me, will you? Who is this? A friend?”

“Yes,” Shinobu held out a hand in Yn’s direction, “This is Ln Yn, she’s also a patient of mine.”

Shinobu was sure Mitsuri would be endlessly supportive and kind as always if she had explained the situation, but it wasn’t her place to do so, it was Yn’s, if she saw fit.

“Oh!” Mitsuri pressed forward, hands clasped in front of her chest. So close that Yn instinctively took a step back from the sudden proximity. “You aren’t terribly sick, are you? That would be just awful! You know what always makes me feel better when I’m sick? Soup! Soup and dumplings and roasted vegetables and fish and—“

“Kanroji-san,” Shinobu put a hand on her back, “Ln-san will be just fine. It’s mostly just consultation.”

“Ah—“ Mitsuri blushed, a couple beads of sweat gathering oil on her brow, “That’s… that’s good! Very good!” She clapped her hands on Yn’s shoulders, making the other slayers almost wince at the overuse of force. “Stay healthy, Ln-san!”

“I- I will do my best, Kanroji-sama.” Yn promised, rubbing one of her poor shoulders.

“Mm! Mm!” Mitsuri nodded, her arms crossed. She opened her mouth to speak again, but instead a low rumble was heard from her stomach, renewing the intensity of her blush. “Ah! So embarrassing!”

“We were about to make lunch.” Shinobu shared, “You should join us.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose…”

“The more the merrier!” Mitsuri insisted. “Aoi-chan, you too!”

“I already ate.” Aoi refused, but then gave Yn the side-eye, “I wouldn’t mind a bit of dessert before it’s gone, however.”

“Oh! Yes, here you go, Aoi-san. Here is Kanao-san’s share too.” Yn presented Aoi with a few wrapped dango.

“Thank you, I’ll make sure she gets it.”

Yn felt an intense stare as Aoi walked away and slowly turned her head to see Mitsuri staring at her with big, hopeful eyes. Not very unlike how Kiyo, Sumi and Naho looked at her upon her arrival, actually.

“Is that… dango? It smells so good.” Mitsuri sighed wistfully.

“You can have some too if you want, I made a lot.” Yn offered, the sweetheart that she was.

“You made it yourself? Homemade is always the best!” Mitsuri danced foot to foot, “I can have some? Really?”

“Of course—“

Yn found herself in a crushing embrace, a few of her lumbar vertebrae made a dull cracking sound.

“That’s so nice! Thank you!”

“Kanroji-san, Ln-san isn’t used to your hugs be careful with her.” Shinobu gently reminded.

Mitsuri drew back, concerned and sheepish, “Sorry…”

“I’m okay.” Yn wheezed, handing a couple wrapped dango over to Mitsuri. “Here you go.”

Mitsuri exclaimed in excitement, accepting the offering. “Thank you!” She eagerly dug in, humming happily,

“You saved enough for me too, right, Ln-san?” Shinobu creeped up beside her, a sly smile on her face, “I would feel so left out if everyone got to enjoy a treat besides myself…”

“I have more!” Yn assured, a bit too panicked, making Shinobu chuckle.

“It’s alright, please breathe easy.”

“You’re so mean, Shinobu-chan.” Mitsuri whined, her mouth full of dango.

“Sorry, sorry~” Shinobu waved her hand, not looking very sorry at all. “Lunch will make up for it, I promise. Kanroji-san has a new recipe from the west we’re going to try.”

“Yes!” Mitsuri clapped, dango already devoured.

“Then I can give you a quick check-up and make sure everything is good to go.” Shinobu promised, already guiding Yn towards the kitchen.

***

It hadn’t taken long for Mitsuri to worm her way into Yn’s heart and earn her trust. Having Mitsuri to confide in was huge. A friend, a confidant and a sister, giving her all sorts of tips and tricks about makeup, clothes and even how to carry herself. There were even things she would ask Mitsuri about that she felt too embarrassed to ask Shinobu about, something that the Insect Hashira noticed and felt a bit jelous about… not that she would ever admit it.

She did, however, interrogate when she felt it necessary, which is how she found herself heading to one of her least favorite places on the planet.

“O-oh, Kochou-sama,” Maeda wrung his hands nervously, sweating in the Hashira’s presence, “what a�� pleasant surprise. Do you have a uniform that requires mending?”

“I’m not here for me.” She spoke curtly, making Maeda flinch.

“I- I see… then Tsuyuri-sama, or Kanzaki-san…?”

“No. Shinobu drew closer like a lion circling prey, “I’m here for Ln Yn, she asked for a uniform alteration and I was informed that you turned her away. Is that correct?”

“Ln-san…” Maeda swallowed thickly, “his request was ridiculous, a- a joke I’m sure…”

Shinobu’s eyes flashed, giving Maeda a quick taste of the fury nestled just below her skin, “Masao-san,” she spoke, in an overly sweet tone, “you amaze me, truly.”

“I, I do?” The poor fool almost looked hopeful, but Shinobu quickly shut that down.

“Just when I think you can’t go any lower, you find yourself a shovel.”

Maeda cowered, had he been born a turtle, he would have retreated into his shell as Shinobu proceeded to rip him a new one.

“You know how I loathe your designs… a uniform that’s supposed to protect one from the slashes of the lowest levels of demons, yet you purposefully leave some of the most vital spots bare. Do you know how many women in the corps have been injured, killed, because they were too polite to reject your perversions?” She asked heatedly, not giving him time to answer,

“I loathe it… however, I respect those who feel empowered showing a little skin, if that is truly what they desire. Imagine my surprise when you had not leapt at the chance to give Ln-san a skirt.”

“Kochou-sama, please understand it’s because h—“

“She.” Shinobu cut him off. “You will make her a skirt, about knee length, as she desires or we can guess how long it will take for me to set your base of operations ablaze. It was a little tricky burning that trash you tried to pawn off on me those few short years ago, but I’m confident I still remember how I did it…”

“K-Kochou-sama, please! I don’t even have the measurements!”

Shinobu presented a piece of parchment from her breast pocket, nearly shoving it in his face.

“I took the liberty of getting them myself. I know you already have uniforms on standby, it shouldn’t take long to fix one up to the proper perimeters I’ve set for you. Finish within the hour please, it’s quite chilly today and who is to say what I might do to ensure I stay warm.” She warned, a chilling smile upon her lips.

Safe to say she had a lovely skirt in her hands half an hour later. The unrestrained hug of gratitude Yn had provided upon her return made dealing with the unpleasant tailor all the more worth it. Not to mention… the skirt did look quite good on her and that was only the beginning of Yn’s new wardrobe.

***

Entering the boutique with Shinobu and Mitsuri, Yn felt almost giddy. A girls outing, Mitsuri had suggested excitedly when they had all found themselves together with some rare free time. Well, Shinobu never truly had free time, but she’d be damned if she missed out on seeing Yn try on some cute clothes.

They did run into a little trouble early on, a small group of gossiping women following them around the store, causing Yn grief with their scrutiny. Shinobu wouldn’t let that last for long. To this day Yn still didn’t know what Shinobu had said to those women when she approached them, but she’d never forget how they paled and quickly left the shop in a flurry, getting tangled up in the entryway as one tried to make her hasty exit before the other.

“What did you say to them, Shinobu-chan?” Mitsuri had been the one to ask, while rubbing Yn’s back comfortingly.

Shinobu only smiled, raising a finger to her lips, making Mitsuri and Yn chuckle nervously. She then held out her hand to Yn for her to take and pulled her towards the fabrics for more formal occasions.

“Let’s continue to enjoy our outing, shall we? Kanroji-san, help her pick something nice, my treat.”

Mitsuri wasted no time pushing Yn through the rows of kimono. Shinobu smiled fondly, waiting for their return. She wanted to be surprised, and surprised she was upon their return.

“What do you think?” Yn asked shyly, doing a little spin when Mitsuri enthusiastically prompted her to.

Shinobu’s eyes greedily took in every detail and she sighed inwardly. Of course Mitsuri just had to put her in purple. She had to wonder if Mitsuri could read her mind and was trying to force Shinobu’s hand to finally make a move… Shinobu shook off that idea rather quickly, she had done well to hide her attraction and Mitsuri wasn’t that perceptive. It was a very good unintentional attempt, however. Her instincts managed a direct hit on Shinobu’s heart and now she had to attempt to be casual in her approval instead of foaming at the mouth.

“You look lovely. It really suits you.” Shinobu allowed her eyes to wander under the guise of appraising the outfit and nothing more, soon finding an excuse to get a bit more hands-on because she just couldn’t seem to help herself.

“Just have to straighten out the obi a little.”

“Thank you.” Yn murmured, feeling a little tingly from the gentle tugs and smoothing of fabric. “Are you sure it isn’t… too much?”

“Not at all, I can easily afford this.” Shinobu assured.

“No, I mean, does it really suit me?”

“Ln-san,” Shinobu gripped her bicep, squeezing it in warning, “do you think Kanroji-san or I, would lie to you?”

“No!” Yn squawked.

“Do you think Kanroji-san and I don’t know what looks good?” She pressed.

“No!” Yn rapidly shook her head. “I- I don’t think that at all!”

“Excellent. Pay no mind to what a couple of uninspired, uneducated women who can’t tell you if water is wet without asking their husbands have to say about what you can or can’t wear. Understand me? You’re beautiful.”

Yn felt herself tear up a bit. Shinobu was just too kind. How could someone so amazing exist at the same time as her, let alone be in such close proximity, comforting her? As lovely as the kimono was, she was starting to feel a little too warm with Shinobu staring at her so intently, her fingers still curled around the edge of her obi.

Then Mitsuri scooped her up in an all encompassing hug that made it nearly impossible to breathe.

“Shinobu-chan is right you know! So forget them and let’s have a good time. I know a thing or two about people like that, and it’s really for the best to not acknowledge them at all.”

“Or you could put something unpleasant in their tea.” Shinobu smiled ominously.

“Shinobu-chan!” Mitsuri gasped, hiding a giggle behind her hands.

Yn looked between the two giggling women and couldn’t help but join along, she couldn’t believe what a difference six months could make.

Mitsuri had been called off to a mission just as they were wrapping up dinner in the city, leaving Yn and Shinobu on their own.

“You should stay in the Butterfly Mansion tonight, it’s getting late.” Shinobu spoke up when they came upon the crossroads where they would have to part ways normally.

“That’s alright, Kochou-sama, I—“

“It’s not imposing if I’m actively inviting you over, Ln-san.” She interrupted. “Besides, you look so pretty in your new kimono that I couldn’t possibly leave you on your own to fend off any unwanted advances.”

Yn felt her face heat up, only getting warmer when Shinobu took her hand and pulled her in the direction of the mansion.

“And I have something I’ve been meaning to give you anyway.” She added softly.

***

Upon arriving at the mansion’s gates, Shinobu prompted Yn to wait at the garden’s edge, the sunset provided the kind of ambiance she was hoping for.

Yn rocked from her heels to her toes, waiting anxiously for Shinobu’s return. To be honest, she had something she wanted to tell her. She wasn’t expecting much, she just hoped at the very least, it wouldn’t change their relationship in a negative way.

“Boo.”

Yn jumped as high as the sunflower stalks when Shinobu snuck up behind her, poking her between the shoulder blades.

“Kochou-san! Don’t do that!” She whined, making the Hashira giggle.

“I’m sorry, you just make it too easy sometimes. Anyway,” she presented a thin box to Yn, “for you, it actually matches your new kimono.” She smiled, waiting for Yn to open the box.

“Thank you.” Yn murmured, gasping softly when a butterfly hair ornament, not too dissimilar from Shinobu’s own was revealed to her as soon as she opened the box. “Kochou-sama, this is really for me?”

“Who else would it be for, silly?” She grinned. “Let me help you put it on.”

Yn let Shinobu guide her to a nearby bench and fix the clip into her hair.

“Beautiful.”

“Like a chivalrous knight…” Yn spoke aloud softly, gently bringing her hand up to touch the butterfly’s wings.

“What was that?” Shinobu chuckled, a bit of pink gathering in her cheeks.

Yn yelped, bringing her hands to her mouth.

“D-did I say that out loud? I- I just meant, well, you are kind of like a knight. Helping me, protecting me… I really appreciate everything you do.” She babbled, freezing up when Shinobu hugged her from behind.

“If I’m the knight, then you’re the princess.” She spoke near Yn’s ear, making her shiver. Shinobu chuckled and squeezed her a little tighter.

Safe to say, what Yn wanted to tell her would be very well received.

#shinobu kocho x reader #shinobu kochou x reader #shinobu x reader #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #requests #anonymous

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willothewish · 1 month ago

Text

While the following refers to therianthropy and more animalistic identities, it can apply to other alterhuman identities as well. I only choose to focus on animal identities because that is what I experience.

I have found that there seems to be a lot of black and white thinking within the community. Either the experience of being an animal is inherently negative or positive, but I believe it’s essential to recognize the full spectrum of who we are.

Since joining the community, I've often heard, “You can't like being a therian.” While I understand this perspective, which often relates to the dysphoria and discomfort that can come with being in a human body, I find this statement narrow-minded and unhealthy.

Firstly, it implies that dysphoria is an essential part of being a therian when it is not. The only requirement to be a therian is identifying as a non-human animal on some level; experiencing species dysphoria is not mandatory. This kind of thinking is dangerous because it invalidates different experiences. Therianthropy is not a box you have to fit into; rather, it is a spectrum of diverse experiences, which I find quite beautiful.

Second, therianthropy is an identity. Saying you cant like being a therian is akin to saying you cant like being who you are. I am by no means trying to undermine the struggle some of us have adapting to the human world, but it is also essential to acknowledge the lighter side of being a therian. I know personally, I love going for nature walks and having shifts. I love playing with my pets. I love making cozy nests and cuddling with my plushies. I love being able to see the world through the perspective of a fox. While I do experience awful dysphoria in my human body it does not diminish the love I have for being a therian. It's part of what makes me, me! warts and all.

That said, if I take a closer look at these “warts” I find there is more than just dysphoria that makes my life as a fox challenging. While I love being a therian, I believe it’s important to also discuss what it genuinely means to have an animalistic identity—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Nature is beautiful, but it is also cruel. Most of an animal's habits and instincts are rooted in survival. Some of my most prominent shifts have been when I was anxious, angry, or scared. This isn't inherently a bad thing; it's just my brain's way of processing these emotions, which everyone has. I rarely see discussions on how therianthropy plays a role in these heavier emotions. When I do see them discussed, it's usually in concern if these shifts are a “normal” part of therianthropy. While I doubt it is a universal experience amongst therians, again, it is a spectrum, I suspect it's pretty common. We are animals; we can't pick and choose which traits apply to us and which don't. However, we can choose how we respond to certain instincts and urges.

Being a therian is never an excuse to act against morals. It is important to be the best selves we can be. That also means acknowledging the parts we don't like so much so that we become self-aware and put a stop to harmful habits.

As a fox, I've noticed a lot of instincts rooted in survival. I become anxious around people I don't know and struggle to trust others fully. I am always acutely aware of my surroundings. The fact that I don't have a sharp sense of hearing and smell to be better aware is nerve-wracking. When I am in a crowded space, I'm always making sure I have a route to escape if need be.

None of these things make a lot of sense in human society, but to a fox, they do. What's important is that I'm now aware of these things, so I can make better choices going forward, set boundaries with others, stay on the outside of crowds, and seek professional help when needed.

In the end, I feel like it's important to focus on the full spectrum of what it means to be an animal. We need to stop trying to fit our experiences into boxes. Being a therian will never be entirely “good” or “bad.” It's essential to look at and reflect on our experience as a whole rainbow rather than a single color.

📷 David Brooke Martin on Unsplash

#alterhuman #therian #otherkin #alterhuman community #nonhumanity #therianthropy

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the-fiction-witch · 8 months ago

Text

The Morning After P2

Media - House Of The Dragon Character - Jacaerys Velaryon Couple - Jacaerys X Reader Reader - (OC) Princess Elaena (Daughter of Viserys and Alicent, Arranged Marriage) Rating - 15+ Word Count - 2032

Warning - discussions of body dysphoria / body hatred / low self-esteem

Requested -

oh shit 😦 .can we have a part 2 please xx

Jacaerys was momentarily stunned by her confession, his eyes widening at her words. He gently wrapped his arms around her, tightening his grip around her frame. "You didn't...? Even when I..." he asked, his voice low and filled with a hint of hurt and confusion.

Elaena shook her head "I... Was only afraid. And in pain"

Jacaerys's heart ached at her words, a pang of guilt and regret stabbing through his chest. He should've been more gentle, more patient. He gently stroked her hair, pulling her closer against him. "I'm sorry, Elaena. I'm sorry it hurt. I didn't want to hurt you... I didn't want you to be afraid." He cupped her face in his hands, looking deep into her eyes. "I shouldn't have pushed you so fast. I should've taken more time, gone slower. I just... I wanted you so badly. I still want you so badly."

"I just... I knew it would hurt. My mother told me so. I was so scared I wanted to cry ... But I know you had been so excited and I didn't want to deny you. I know our marriage had to be consummated and... I didn't want to deny you on our wedding night, or make you feel unhappy for not giving me pleasure."

Jacaeryl's heart ached with a mixture of guilt and tenderness at her words. He gently caresses her face, his touch gentle and soothing. "Elaena... I don't care about my own pleasure," he said, his voice soft and sincere. "I care about yours. I don't want you to just lie back and let it happen. I want you to be comfortable, and pleasured. I want you to enjoy it." Jacaeryl's heart ached with a mixture of guilt and tenderness at her words. His hands gently ran over her body, tracing the curves and contours beneath his palms. "I never want you to suffer for my sake, ever. If you're not ready, if you're not enjoying it - please, tell me. I don't want to hurt you."

"but... What if you are enjoying it?"

Jacaerys paused at her question, his hands stilling on her body as he pondered for a moment. His first instinct was to say that he would stop if she asked him to, but the thought of her bearing through it, letting him take pleasure while she suffered... He couldn't stomach it. "No," he said firmly. "I... I would rather suffer myself than cause you pain. If you're not enjoying it, if you want me to stop, I will. I promise."

she nodded "thank you jacaerys"

He gently cupped her face, his touch gentle and loving. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead, trying to convey his sincerity with his actions. "You don't have to thank me," he murmured. "It's what I should do. Your comfort and pleasure are important to me, and I don't ever want to hurt you like that again."

she nodded and laid her head on his chest still clutching her knees to her chest to conceal herself

Jacaerys wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his chest, his hand rubbing gentle circles on her back. He felt her body against his, the heat and softness of her skin sending tingles through his body. He gently tilted her chin up so that she was looking at him, and his gaze softened. He gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and spoke, his voice low and soft. "You don't have to hide yourself, you know. You're beautiful."

she shook her head "I... I don't like... Being like this."

Jacaerys's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at her words, and he gently turned her body so that she was facing him, perched on his lap. He gently tucked her head beneath his chin, his arms wrapping firmly around her slender waist. "Like what?" he asked, his voice soft and curious.

"exposed..." She answered doing her best to conceal herself "I .. I don't like seeing myself. Or... Other people... Seeing me"

Jacaerys's heart ached at her words, a mixture of worry and sadness filling his chest. His hands gently caressed her back, rubbing soothing circles along her skin. "Why don't you like seeing yourself? Or having others see you?" he asked. "You are beautiful, Elaena. Your body is beautiful." He gently moved one hand up to cradle her face, his thumb gently stroking her cheek. "There's nothing bad about your body," he whispered. "It's perfect, just as it is. You don't have to hide from me. I love every part of you."

"b-but... ..." She rattled off every detail about herself all the things she didn’t like, but after a while clearly stopped herself before she completely ripped herself apart in front of him

All the while she spoke, Jacaerys's heart ached more and more with each word, as if he had been stabbed with a dagger. When she finished, he gently grasped her chin with his hand, making her look him in the eyes. His gaze was gentle but firm. "Stop," he said. "Just... Stop. You're describing yourself like you're a monster, when you're the exact opposite. You... You're perfect." he told her, "You have the most stunning eyes I've ever seen," he continued, his voice gentle yet firm. "You’re hair is so soft and sweet. And as for the rest... Your body is soft and warm, the most perfect thing I could possibly imagine. When I look at you, all I see is beauty." he explained true passion in his tone, "I love every inch of you, just the way you are. you're just... You." He leaned in, peppering soft kisses over her face. "Please, stop seeing yourself like this. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

"I don't understand how anyone could like... this." She said glancing down at her body,

Jacaerys gently took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers together. With his other hand, he gently caressed her skin, his touch soft and loving. "Do you know how incredibly beautiful this is?" he murmured. “My own little pillow,”

she scoffed out a little laugh

Jacaerys smiled at her little laugh, pleased that he could get even a small reaction from her. He continued to gently caress her, his hand gliding over the soft flesh in a gentle, soothing motion. "I'm serious," he said, his voice low and serious. "I love your body. I love feeling your body against mine. You're... Perfect." He leaned in, planting soft kisses along her neck and jawline, his lips gently grazing her skin. "You're soft and warm, and just the right size for my arms perfect for holding and cuddling," he murmured between kisses. "I don't ever want you to think that there's anything wrong with your body. You're perfect just the way you are."

"you wouldn't change it if you could?"

Jacaerys pulled back slightly, "Not in the slightest," he said firmly. "Why would I want to change anything about you? You're perfect exactly as you are. If I could change anything about you, it would be the way you see yourself. I want you to see yourself the way I see you - as beautiful, and desirable, and perfect in every way."

"I don't see myself like that... I just see ... Marshmallow"

Jacaerys chuckled softly at her words, his hand still gently caressing her stomach. "A marshmallow, huh? Well, you're the most beautiful marshmallow I've ever seen," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "And for the record, I love marshmallows. They're soft and sweet and perfect for cuddling."

she giggled

Jacaerys's heart skipped a beat at the sound of her giggle, a feeling of joy and tenderness washing over him. He continued to caress her stomach, his touch gentle and loving. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her shoulder, his lips lingering on her skin. "There's that beautiful sound," he murmured, his voice low and affectionate. "You should giggle more often." He continued to place soft kisses on her shoulder and neck, his hands roaming over her body, tracing over every curve and contour. He wanted to show her how beautiful and desirable he found her, through his words and his touch. He pulled her closer, his arms wrapping around her in a tight embrace. "I want to make you laugh and smile every day," he whispered, his lips brushing against her ear. "I want to see you happy and content in your own skin."

"... Perhaps you should just give me a new skin" she sighed

Jacaerys's expression darkened at her words, pain and frustration coursing through him at the way she spoke about herself. He pulled back slightly to look at her, his gaze intense and earnest. "You don't need a new skin," he said firmly. "You're perfect just the way you are. I don't want you to change anything, because there's nothing wrong with you. I just want you to see yourself the way I see you - beautiful and desirable and worthy of every bit of love and appreciation that you deserve." He gently grabbed her hand, lifting it up and placing it on his chest, right over his heart. The rhythm of his heartbeat was steady and strong, a steady beat beneath her palm. "Can you feel that?" he asked, his voice low and intense. "That's how you make me feel. My heart races every time I look at you, and every time I touch you. You're the most beautiful thing in the world to me, and I don't want you to ever forget that." His hand gently moved up to cup her face, his thumb tracing over her cheek. He pulled her closer, pressing his forehead to hers, their bodies flush together. "Please, Elaena," he said, his voice soft and earnest. "Don't talk about yourself like that. Don't think that you're anything less than perfect, because you're not. You're everything I could ever want or need. You're my world, my everything."

"... How your heart has such love for me... I don't understand it"

Jacaerys sighed softly, his fingers gently tracing over her cheeks, her jawline, her lips. "I don't know how to explain it," he admitted, his voice soft and sincere. "I just know that when I look at you, my heart swells with love and awe. You... You're everything I've ever wanted in a partner. Every time I look at you, my heart skips a beat, every time I touch you my skin tingles. I don't know why or how, I just know that I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything before."

she briefly smiled

Jacaerys felt a pang of sadness in his heart at the briefness of her smile, but he clung to it as a small victory. He continued to gently caress her face, his touch soft and gentle. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her forehead, wanting to convey all of the love and affection he felt for her in that one gesture. "Do you believe me when I say that I find you beautiful and perfect?" he asked, his voice low and earnest.

"... I... Believe that you believe that”

Jacaerys let out a soft sigh, a mix of frustration and sadness welling up inside of him. He wanted so badly for her to see herself the way he saw her, to realize her own beauty and worth. He gently wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against his chest, holding her tight. "I wish you could see yourself through my eyes," he whispered. "You would see just how beautiful and perfect you are. You would understand just how much I love and desire you."

"no, then I'd have to take your pretty eyes out of your head"

"You would," he said, a hint of a smile in his voice. "And I would happily carve out my eyes and hand them over if it meant you saw yourself as I do,"

"Jacaerys?" She asked her hand stroking his hair softly almost frightened to touch him

Jacaerys gently leaned into her touch, his head tilting slightly to nuzzle into her hand. The feeling of her fingers softly stroking his hair sent a shiver down his spine, and he let out a contented sigh. "Yes, love?" he asked, his voice low and soft.

"... May... May I kiss you?"

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voidoftheotherside · 2 months ago

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PLEASE READ MY WHOLE POST UPDATE BEFORE FORMING AN OPINION. i don’t love getting into discourse but I haven’t seen anyone share this perspective so I thought I might as well, I am open to good faith discussion though.

I feel like what confuses me about the whole transandrophobia /transmisandry/ etc debate is that some people are thinking it’s the axis of misandry (not real) + transphobia and rightfully criticizing that concept, but I was under the impression it was about the intersection of sexism (based on agab & perceived “real” sex) + transphobia. And because transmisogyny is already taken and may induce dysphoria it ended up needing a different name, so the gender affirming but not perfectly descriptive transandrophobia (transandro + phobia not trans + androphobia) and the questionable transmisandry (yeah I don’t like and won’t defend this one) came about. This is why I think transandrophobia IS a valid term, HOWEVER I also agree that it’s definitely used wrong very frequently in an oppression olympics type way to minimize transfems experiences and even attack transfems. Which I do not support. But I feel like cutting out the term completely isn’t the answer because it can be used to describe, for example: certain types of malgendering, and issues around trans pregnancy care.

I’m gonna end this with another disclaimer in case the text was too long: NO “transandrophobia” is not transfems oppressing transmascs on a systemic level

YES there are people using the term transandrophobia to perpetuate harm against transfems, and that should absolutely be addressed, (I’ll try to find posts elaborating on this to tag in replies)

that just doesn’t necessarily mean the term itself should be thrown away. just like every form of oppression can be weaponized to exclude/shift the blame to other marginalized groups.

UPDATE: the above was my opinion at the time of posting but a very nice commenter linked to the coiners definition of transandrophobia, which explains a lot of what I’ve been seeing. Needless to say it’s not the above, and is imo more of an intercomunity phenomenon (that exists in various ways with various forms of oppression) than a form of oppression. So I’m now not sure what term should be used to describe the discrimination I talked about in my post, but I can agree it’s not transandrophobia. Maybe if I can’t find one I’ll coin it myself, who knows? But basically sorry for any confusion and thank you for the consideration.

#tags for reach/context #trans #queer #transandrophobia #transmisandry #discourse

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maybe-boys-do-love · 2 months ago

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What's with the discourse around whether Great Men Academy is a BL or not? Fully legitimate question for which I'd love for people to offer their perspective. I'm giving my two cents below, but they're not the end-all-be-all.

I've seen some people define BL with an emphasis on how central romance is to the plot. Since Love's wish to be lucky-in-love is the inciting incident, seems like romance is pretty central. The plot doesn't fully revolve around Love and the guy she ends up with, but ending up with the second comedic option instead of the initial romantic crush is actually a pretty established trope in romcoms (While You Were Sleeping comes to mind).

Is it a matter of whether we're witnessing gay love? People often refer to this show as QL, and in truth, it's one of the few shows that can fully fit that bill with its gender-variation. I guess, though, I get bothered by people sorting out ql and bl for a few reasons. 1. BL is just a more established tag and search-engine term for this genre, and gatekeeping the labels has real impacts on viewership. 2. Gender-variation seems to have been a part of Thai BL since its foundations with kathoey and tom characters in shows like Love Sick, Make It Right, and SOTUS. 3. Do we need more than one pair of boys to be explictly gay for one another to make it a BL? Ignoring the fact that we've kind of got four boys who have some kind of romantic entanglements with one another in GMA, that's gonna eliminate a few well-established shows from the canon. 4. In the translation I watched, Tangmo states that he has feelings for Love because he's a boy. People are calling him bi in the tags, but that sounds much closer to a description for 'gay,' and Love I believe uses the English word 'gay' when denying him to say "he's not 'gay.'"

As a guy who happily uses the term 'gay' to define himself (I think it's a pleasant non-sociological word that has important effiminate and campy connotations that align with my presentation and sense of self), a gay guy who dated and loved a trans-woman through and after her transition, I think it's interesting to see the kind of 'pearl-clutching' that happens around definitions when BLs decide to get complicated, especially on tumblr of all places. The words we have to define ourselves are limited. Transness throws a wrench into sexuality models, which makes beautiful exploding fireworks of what we think about ourselves. My gay identity didn't make her less of a woman because I was attracted to her. Her womanhood didn't make me less gay. At least it didn't for us, despite some heated discussions and fair fears, but you'll find your own versions of this story.

As a guy who literally has a diagnosis of 'gender dysphoria' and started HRT before deciding transition was not for me for a slew of personal reasons (props to everyone who's thinking about, starting on, or 4lifers on that journey though!), Love's story and desires are so potent and rare to encounter in media anywhere. Trans* allegories get reserved for horror, but this show is a trans* fairytale, with a cottage, a magic wish-granting lake, and full-on duels to prove it. And its elements line up with transness in a way few stories honestly admit. Many people only start to experience gender dysphoria after the start of puberty, for example, when adult sexual traits and hormones start to kick in, aligning with the age Love’s unwanted gender-swap occurs. And there’s plenty more of the less well-known sides of trans experience tucked into the show.

The rigid lines between sexuality and gender are a lot less rigid than some would have it. There was a current in American queer discourse where it became important to delineate gay men and trans women, but some gay men might relate to women internally more than men, some might harbor real desires for womanhood that they don't live out and some might just want the diva-upped drag-version of womanhood without the everyday lived experience. Is there a kind of trans-exclusion we BL fans might perform when we try to parse out ~ t r u e ~ gays in gender-swap BLs?

The gender-swap at its core seems to address the full-extent of patriarchal limits: the self-imposed limits on cis-men, the societally constructed limits on cis-women, the pain assumptions of heterosexuality can cause, and the aberration transition brings to the all those proceedings. From Twelfth Night to Some Like It Hot to Great Men Academy, well-done gender-swaps worm their way out of the grips of limiting categories. Is GMA a BL, yes, and its more than that, too. Two boys kiss in the sun to cap it off after saying 'Love is Love' and promising to love each other no matter the gender. If that's not enough to convince you, and the bitchy unicorn narrator didn't make it gay-enough, well, idk if you even deserve to get picked by the robot statue principal for the great men hunger games!

Great Men Academy is not simply a BL, for me, it's one of the great BLs. Its got a singular premise and setting--few Thai shows work so hard to look vaguely filmed in Europe (check the tree types in the forest if you don't believe me). The casting and performances across the board elevate it beyond the camp it could've been, with both versions of Love played with deep sincerity, Jaylerr turning in the sweetest gay-panicked goofball in Tangmo, and Sean along with his sister/alter-ego radiating a pained cold beauty that took my breath away and got me fully fixated on Captain (Noh in Love Sick) for an evening. The dialogue is sweetly naturalistic even as the plot miraculously lands heavy-handed allegorical like when the boys literally battle against themselves. Really, it has more in common with Revolutionary Girl Utena or Ouran's High School Host Club than any of its contemporary Thai BLs, perhaps, and personally I think that's a compliment. But either way, make no mistake. These boys be loving in Thai, and along with the general consensus of both the BL-truthers and deniers, I can't recommend it enough.

#great men academy #gma #thai bl #jaylerr #transness in bl

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wangxianficfinder · 1 year ago

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In the mood for...

Jan 16th

LINK LIMIT REACHED (please look in replies for more recs ^^)

~*~

1. Hello, looking for fics that discuss or focus around wy being in a different body and yeah kinda just focused around that. thanks!

the soft animal by cafecliche (T, 5k, wangxian, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, the physicality of moving on: the fic, LWJ is the best husband, Podfic Available, (the presence of) MXY, and a whole bunch of Baby Lans)

a better world by ilip13 (G, 1k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Slice of Life, Soft WangXian, mild body dysphoria, Hopeful Ending)

a kind of emptiness by ScarlettStorm (E, 11k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Eating Disorders, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorder Recovery, low angst, Happy Ending, seriously in spite of the tags this fic is very soft, Tender smut, Frottage, Praise Kink, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

~*~

2. hopefully something similar to this

thank u!! @/weiwuxianfan34

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

3. Hi, for the next itmf, do you guys have and lwj/wwx/lxc recs? Like with the three of them together in a relationship. It can be cannon era or modern era, I don't really mind either but I would prefer cannon era. Thank you for the help.

our close and kindred ties by exmanhater (E, 41k, WangXianXi, Pregnancy Kink, Incest, almost incest, Post-Canon, Gender Changes, Always a Different Sex, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Sex, Riding, Vaginal Fingering, Established Relationship, Situational Incest Only, POV Outsider, Pregnancy, Family Feels, Fluff, Incest Adjacent, Threesome - F/F/M, Relationship Negotiation, (slight) Pregnancy Kink, Kid Fic, Parenting, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Double Penetration, LWJ is a service top, Strap-Ons, Anal Sex, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Restraints, Parenthood) has f!wangxian but otherwise i think it's post-canon-ish setting?

oh we have moved forward in pain by rainbowshoes (E, 47k, WangXianXi, past 3zun, past Niecest, Incest, Post-Betrayal Depression, Severe depressive episodes, Bruises, Bite marks, Consensual sexual injuries, Self harm through sex, self harm ideation, Nightmares, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Excessive Drinking, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Scars, Past Child Abuse, implied ace jc, Explicit Sexual Content, Guilt, Canon-verse version of safe-wording out, Canon-verse version of subdrop, Child Abuse, discussion of death and murder, Discussion of wwx’s first time in the burial mounds, Broken Bones, Starvation, eating corpses, Insecurity not-so-accidental child acquisition, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sort Of, Sibling Incest, mix and mash Mashup of cql verse and novel, anti-lqr)

set my soul alight Series by Skadiseven (E, 42k, WangXianXi, Modern AU, Jadecest, Sibling Incest, Toronto, Halloween Costumes, Halloween, Canada, Jade Xianwich, WWX POV, Power Play, LXC POV, Rough Sex, Intercrural Sex, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Aftercare, Sort Of)

take this weight of mine by soliloqui (E, 84k, WangXianXi, Post-Canon, LXC in Seclusion, Depression, touch starvation, Self-Harm, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation, Canon-Typical Violence, Unreliable Narrator, Dual Cultivation, mild fuck-or-die, Mild Consent Issues, please check end notes of chapter 2 for more information, Sibling Incest, Hurt/Comfort, gentle smut, Healing, demisexual LXC, demisexual lwj, Protective LWJ, Protective LXC, Protective WWX, lqr's a++ parenting, Angst with a Happy Ending)

🔒Embers by xantissa (E, 38k, WangXian, XiXian, WangXianXi, Jadecest, Angst, drama, Fluff, Falling In Love, sex pollen trope (curse), dub con, Comfort, Grief, Forgiveness, Happy Ending, Sibling Incest, Switching, Flirting, Learning to live again, Magic, Curses, Everyone is Badass, lwj has a sense of humor, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Threesome - M/M/M, Slow Burn, Angst and Hurt/Comfort)

🔒Magnificent by Anonymous (E, 36k, WangXianXi, Post-Canon, Sibling Incest, Threesome - M/M/M, Deepthroating, Mutual Masturbation, Nipple Play, Blow Jobs, Jadecest, Light Angst, Past NieLan, Sharing a Bed, Canon Compliant, Top LWJ, Switch LXC, Switch WWX, Spitroasting, Face-Fucking, Come Eating, Snowballing, Facials, Praise Kink, over-stimulation, Ass to Mouth, Intercrural Sex, Laughter During Sex, Rimming, Come as Lube, Magical Healing Cock, i guess, Come play)

给我再去相信的勇气 // the courage to believe by howodd5ever (E, 55k, WangXian, WangXianXi, Threesome - M/M/M, Jadecest, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Undernegotiated Kink, Choking, Spanking, Dom/sub, Rough Sex, dub con but trust me wei ying is into it, Polyamory, Getting Together, First Times, porn with a tiny bit of plot if you squint, Bottom wwx, bratty WWX, Marks, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, mostly cql canon timeline but otherwise franken-canon, angst but not about the poly stuff, Cockwarming, a little rimming as a treat)

Fraternal Fissures by Foregone_Shadow (E, 33k, Jadecest, WangXianXi, Angst with a Happy Ending, Threesome - M/M/M, Dual Cultivation, Healing Sex, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Sibling Incest, Explicit Sexual Content, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Somnophilia, Reference to relationships between 3zun, POV Alternating, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Tender Sex, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Care and aftercare, Bondage, dom!lwj, Sub!lxc, Top / Bottom Versatile Characters, LWJ is canonically huge, Size Kink, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot, Light BDSM, Voyeurism, Depression, Dubious Consent, LWJ talks dirty, Marathon Sex, switch!WWX, Lots of bathing, gagging, Blindfolds, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Belly Kink, Orgasm Denial, Prostate Play)

~*~

4. hello! this is an itmf request. i would love:

A) recs on good case fics - i have a soft spot for those that take place during the cloud recesses study arc, but any and all case fic recs welcome :)

B) recs on de-aging/age regression fics - whether wangxian or other characters. thank you thank you! @/potatokunst

4A)

see you yesterday by glyphic (M, 138k, WIP, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Ghost Hunters, Time Loop, Case Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn) if OP is open to modern AUs

🔒 Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down by KizuKatana (E, 63k, wangxian, WQ & WWX & WN, Modern Cultivation, weapons-grade thirst, Getting Back Together, Trying REALLY hard to not still like your Ex, but failing, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Canon Divergence, Case Fic, LWJ’s canonically big dick, sort of a ‘thirsting for your co-worker ex’ vibe, it eventually gets worked out, Mutual Pining, Guest-starring LWJ’s canonically poor communication choices after romantic cave encounters, novel canon relationship dynamics, basically this fic is about escalating sexual tension)

🔒 Vagabond by xantissa (E, 65k, wangxian, Slow Burn, Mystery, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Frottage, Case Fic, murders, Supernatural, Angst, Fluff, those two are so in love it hurts, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, badass LXC, Canon-Typical Violence, topLWJ, Bottom LWJ)

build me no shrines by occultings (microcomets) (M, 54k, WangXian, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, First Time, Getting Together, Confessions, Sharing a Bed, Hair Washing, Sentient Burial Mounds, Case Fic, Post-Canon, CQL Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Light Angst, Flashbacks, mild body horror, foot washing, Happy Ending, Non-Sexual Intimacy, …then sexual intimacy, [Podfic] build me no shrines by flamingwell)

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie (E, 68k, WangXian, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror)

in your skin by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Horror, Body Horror, Blood and Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Non-Consensual Body Modification, kinda??, Reflections over death and self-worth, mentions of canon suicide, Near Death Experiences, [Podfic] in your skin by flamingwell)

there was recently a whole event about casefics! Not all of them are wangxian but a lot are so maybe one will catch your interest

💖 I’d be the one to hold you down (kiss you so hard) by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf & tardigradeschool (E, 85k, wangxian, JGY/LXC, NMJ/LXC, modern, leverage au, canon-typical violence, unhealthy relationships, depression, heists, found family, murder, hurt/comfort, angst w/ happy ending)

🧡 moonlight caught in mutton fat by Raitelzen (T, 45k, WangXian, Case Fic, Curses, Curse Breaking, Transformation, mild body horror, Hurt LWJ, Ghosts)

Your Hand in Mine by cerbykerby (T, 20k, WangXian, Humor, Comedy, Pining, cursed to hold hands, Light Angst, Sharing a Bed, First Dates, Embarrassment, Fluff, bathing together, Canon Compliant)

Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground (T, 39k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Case Fic, Intimacy, Curses, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Romance, Sexual Tension, Scent Kink, m.. maybe??, its not as intense as a kink, Fluff, Scars, Sharing a Bed, Nonverbal Communication)

this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending)

4B)

grow by cafecliche (T, 14k, WangXian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Character Study, Post-Canon, podfic available)

home is where we are by halfdemonvash (T, 17k, wangxian, JC & WWX, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng are Bad at Communicating, JC & WWX Reconciliation, but only somewhat because these these things take time, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst and Feels, Hijinks & Shenanigans, accidental baby acquisition but it's actually your older brother, references to wwx's past being homeless, and also his past food insecurity, rated T for jiang cheng's language, and light sexual content in the beginning, Post-Canon, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Junior Trio Shenanigans)

Bringing Up JC by Mikkeneko (T, 31k, JC & WWX, JC & JL JL & WWX, JL & LSZ, Kid Fic, Age Regression/De-Aging, Fluff and Angst, anticipate about one part kid cuteness to two parts angst, Reparenting, reliving trauma, unpacking JC's childhood issues, no therapy in the jianghu so this will have to do, Take Care reveal, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, JC & WWX Reconciliation, WWX Is Good With Children, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Golden Core Reveal)

🔒 Silver & Gold by beeswaxing (E, 162k, wangxian, post-canon, de-aging, fluff & angst, happy ending, fix-it of sorts, family bonding, established relationship, non-sexual intimacy, BAMF WWX, pining, protective WWX)

found your writing on my wall by howodd5ever (T, 25k, WangXian, JC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition, De-aged WWX, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Referenced Child Neglect, discussion of parental loss, child food insecurity, Case Fic, kind of, Nightmares)

🔒suddenly an old song fills my heart with home, my eyes with tears by RoseThorne (T, 724, WangXian, JC & WWX, Curses, Rebirth, Memories, Memory Loss, Age Regression/De-Aging, Recovered Memories, POV Third Person)

~*~

5. Hi, I am looking for fics in the canon-ish setting where characters undergo major injuries or illnesses that disable them but they are still bamf? (Last part added to a FF)

we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club) WWX loses a leg & continues fighting the SSC with no-one being the wiser

🔒 no new age by everythingispoetry (M, 146k, wangxian, LSZ & LWJ, LXC/JGY, LXC/NMJ, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Permanent Injury, Recovery, Disability, Parenthood, Character Study, Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, Growing Up, Family Dynamics, Self-Discovery, Mental Health Issues, Grief/Mourning, Families of Choice, Developing Relationship) LWJ is left disabled by the 33 lashes punishment, & pushes through it, which I would think qualifies for BAMF status

🧡 Company by WithBroomBefore (T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, POV LWJ, Fix-It, Pre-Canon, at least to start, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, But Not In The Usual Way, fear of character death, Everybody Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, good teacher LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, brief discussion of past minor character suicide, Kitten, Not YZY Friendly)

🔒 a star called sun by thelastdboy (E, 120k, wangxian, SL/XXC, JC & JYL & WWX, JYL & LWJ, WWX & WN & WQ, JYL/JZX, Canon Divergence after Xuanwu Cave, Fall of Lotus Pier, But worse!, Power Imbalance, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Not Everyone Dies AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Loss of Limbs, Chronic Illness, Seizures, WWX's Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Wēn Remnants Live, Wēn Remnants Deserve Better, WWX Creates a Sect | Yílíng Wèi Sect, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Hurt/Comfort, Selectively Mute LWJ, Service Animals, Crows)

Obscuring the Sun by Karmiya (E, 24k, WIP, WangXian, WWX & WN, the sunshot campaign, Past Domestic Abuse)

~*~

6. ITMF a fic where preferably wwx is an amputee but lwj is okay too and I’d also prefer it in modern setting but again cannon timeline is fine as well @/zerokogane

🔒some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending)

Work in Tandem by MimiSpearmint (E, 23k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Single Parent LWJ, when you just want disability-led sword lessons for your child, swordflight instructor!wwx, swordflight instructor!lwj, Fluff, give lwj friends agenda, Protective LWJ, Getting Together, Intercrural Sex, Choking, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Implied off-screen D/s negotiations)

~*~

7. Hey! Do have any recs where wwx never loses his golden core? Like the Just Say Yes series? Could be an au, or anything. Thank you!

Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing)

Until The World Embraces Me Home by azri (T, 5k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ LWJ, LWJ Has No Golden Core, Role Reversal, Not LXC Friendly, Not JC Friendly, Not cultivation world friendly overall tbh, Sunshot Campaign, Friends to Lovers, Temporary Character Death, WangXian Get a Happy Ending) LZ loses his core but WY keeps his

A Thousand Things by tickertape (M, 108k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX is not adopted by Jiangs, develping friendships, miscommunication, misunderstanding, nightmares, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, slow burn)

~*~

8. Hi, itmf recently completed wips. What's new and good is ready for the binge reading. Thank you! @/best-before-end

pale shadows of forgotten names by Chrononautical (T, 56k, wangxian, Madam Lán Lives, Madam Lán Deserves Better, Good Sibling LXC, Badass LXC, He gets there in the end it just takes a while, Not particularly JGY friendly, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Canon-Typical Behavior, Unresolved Sexual Tension, the universal fear of growing up to become one of your parents, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives AU, Except WN but he's very polite, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, Imprisonment, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, not between wangxian, Drunk LWJ, to lighten the mood, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Traumatized WWX, though he will not admit it, Taking time to heal, canon-typical communication skills)

~*~

9. Hello! I am in the mood for a wangxian arranged marriage fanfic. I would prefer a longer story (over 50k words, if possible). It can be canon or even AU. I would like the story to focus not only on the relationship between LZ and WY but also on the politics behind it. It can also be omegaverse. It would be great if their relationship is rocky at first and then becomes better. If there's more fanfics like this, I would be grateful for all of them. Thank you very much. @/broodyelii

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

🧡 a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 179k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage) Definitely meets the length criteria, though its been long enough since I last read it that I don't recall how much it went into the politics of the marriage

love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriages)

❤️ A Myriad of Blossoms by Itszero (E, 56k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, YLLZ WWX, Hurt LWJ, Cruel wwx, he's cruel until he's not, Protective WWX, Caring WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Dark WWX)

The Scarlet Lotus by rainbowninja167 (M, 137k, WangXian, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Identity, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical war crimes, Yunmeng Bros, the mortifying ordeal of getting seduced by your own husband, nonlinear chronology we die like cql, just kidding nobody dies in this fic, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication)

~*~

10. Itmf wangxian fics with WWX in peril (happy ending only please).

pitfalls of greed by glitteringmoonlight (T, 3k, wangxian, post-canon, outsider pov, BAMF WWX, kidnapping, violence)

❤️ kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

~*~

11. I am currently reading "Get it right (mdzs time travel) Series" by AmiraAlzilu (AO3) and now I'm ITMF for a time travel fic where LXC and LQR are specifically called out for their lack of trust in LWJ witness testimony (aka child/elders in the Burial Mounds) and believing a sworn brother over family. Bonus for a) apologies or b) digging a deeper hole aka surely LWJ is mistaken, Meng Yao would never, I'm looking at you chapter 15 to 17 of this fic LXC (yes I'm salty). Bonus bonus for consequences on LXC's loose lips telling things to others he was asked to keep in confidence.... @/mreisse

I'm #11, and you know what? Recs calling out LXC and LQR is also fine :)

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ's emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole) Okay so this isn't a time travel fic, so feel free to disregard, BUT! Does have LXC coming to WWX for help & seeing the truth, & characters calling him tf out on how it took him this long, so requester may still be interested

~*~

12. this is an itmf ask!!

fics where wwx is in his full yiling patriarch glory, I want to see scary yllz, possessive yllz (for lwj ofc) anything. longer fics pls but anything is fine, just no wips please haha!!

🔒hold me fast, fear me not by cicer (M, 16k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fairy Tale Elements, Mpreg, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, YLLZ WWX, brief reference to abortificants, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, may be interpreted as noncon by some)

curse of the dragon emperor by lulu_kitty (E, 96k, WangXian, Dragon AU, Canon Divergence, Mythology References, Identity Porn, Cursed WWX, Trans LWJ, Trans Male Character, Misgendering, Canon-Typical Violence, Gender Dysphoria, gender euphoria, Phoenixes, Dragon WWX, Fox WWX, Double Penetration in Two Holes, Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Dirty Talk, Submissive LWJ, Trauma, WWX Has PTSD, Minor Character Death, Prince WWX, Emperor WWX, Soulmates, Arranged Marriage, Mpreg, Trans Male Pregnancy, Size Difference, Dragonxian has two dicks, YLLZ WWX, technically!, It's more like YLLZ adjacent)

your darkest roads by comefeedtherainn (E, 76k, WangXian, YLLZ WWX, non-yunmeng wwx, Kinda, No Golden Core Transfer, Dark WWX, d/s dynamics, No noncon, playing with subverting some tropes/expectations)

~*~

13. I swear the only reason I can still consume Wangxian content daily is because of your recommendations.

There’s a couple fics I’ve been craving for a while and haven’t been able to find any I really love, so any help/ recommendations would be much appreciated!

A) Lan Xichen focused fics. It’s so hard to find fics that centre him.

B) Lan Sizhui focused fics. Mainly him with his dads/ family, but also him remembering his past would be great! Baby or adult A-yuan.

C) Wangxian being parents. Wei Wuxian being single parent. Just them being amazing dad’s content.

I’d appreciate any of these prompts 💞✨💫 @/jinxedjaz

13A)

Chapter 2 of Every Mother's Son by Chrononautical (T, 11k, Madam Lan & WWX, Madam Lan & LWJ, Madam Lan & Lxc, wangxian, Madam Lán Lives, Madam Lán Deserves Better, Madam Lán Leaves Cloud Recesses, Madam Lan rescues women from abusive husbands in feudal Japan and honestly that's so valid of her, mentions of rape/non-con between Madam Lan & QHJ, Give Madam Lan a name of her own, let Madam Lan find out that QHJ died in a fire as a treat, now with bonus Lan Xichen!) chapter 1 is more focused on LWJ and WWX, I recommend both :)

i told you when i came i was a stranger by Caramelized (M, 50k, OFC/LXC, minor WangXian, Isekai, Transmigration, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Amateur cartography, Butterfly Effect, Sunshot Campaign, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, No Golden Core Transfer, Dimension Travel, Politics, LXC the politician, Self-Insert, Foreknowledge, Angst with a Happy Ending) it's SI/OC but heavily features LXC (including some chapters from his POV). also has one of my favorite characterizations of LXC i've seen in fic

To Love What Is Mortal by treemaidengeek (T, 22k, LXC/SL, Post-Canon, Grief/Mourning, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, [Podfic] To Love What Is Mortal by flamingwell) as well as most of the works in this series.

Gentle Exile by rynleaf (E, 9k, LXC/SL, Post-Canon, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, References to Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Character Study, Epistolary, Post-Canon Exploration, [PODFIC] Gentle Exile by flamingwell, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

13B)

When You Wake, 怎能当梦一场 by acertainrogue (T, 39k, WangXian, WWX is in a coma, Angst with a Happy Ending, Modern AU, Single Dad LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Parenthood, YZY's A+ Parenting, JFM's A+ parenting, wangxian family) this is completely from lsz's pov

this blood in my mouth by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Post-Canon, POV LXC)

The Living Looked That Day by violettressed (T, 19k, LSZ & WN, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Ritualistic Self-Harm, Mild Gore)

🧡 Lan Sizhui Sees Dead People Series by darkbrokenreaper (T, 30k, WIP, WangXian, LWJ & LSZ, JC & LSZ, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, lsz sees dead people, Paranormal)

as i stumble homewards by the_pretzel (T, 27k, wangxian, canonical character death, found family, food issues, trauma, LSZ pov, angst w/ happy ending, fluff) LSZ raised by ghost!WWX

Symmetry by Vir_Abelasan (M, 13k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, One-Sided ChengXian, One-Sided ChengZhui, Canon Divergence, LSZ is raised by wwx, Wwx still dies sorry, Revenge, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dark LSZ, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Torture, Not JC Friendly, JC’s Canonical 13 Years Murder Spree, BAMF LSZ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LSZ Gets to Go Apeshit) LSZ gets to have a lil revenge, as a treat

Remember, Remember by Izzyaro (Isilarma) (G, 1k, LSZ & WN, LJY & LSZ, Character Study, Post-Canon, Family, Families of Choice, Grief/Mourning, Angry LSZ, LSZ Needs a Hug, not for jc fans, LSZ gets a hug) LSZ remembers a few things, & gets to be angry

the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser (M, 39k, wangxian, after yiling date, sick child) LSZ is sick for a chunk of this but is still the central character

keeping score by hauntedotamatone (T, 6k, LSZ & WWX, Background WangXian, the opposite of reconciliation, Protective WWX, Duelling, Grief/Mourning, not for jc fans, Swordfighting, Resentment, LSZ centric, No JC & WWX Reconciliation) featuring protective dad WWX

Would You Come Home? by s6115 (Not rated, 46k, WangXian, Junior Quartet Centric, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Junior Quartet Dynamics) being a coming-of-age type story as LSZ discovers his past with WWX

13C)

emergent properties by luckymarrow (E, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Family Fluff, Trans Male Character, Trans LWJ, Queer Families, Queer Youth, Adoption, Baby LSZ, Teen MXY, Crossdressing, but not as a kinkgender expression, Dilf4Dilf Wangxian, Penis In Vagina Sex, Blow Jobs, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Smut, gender euphoria, Cunnilingus)

at no other time by luckymarrow (M, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Queer Families, Queer Youth, Child LSZ, Family Fluff, Non-Explicit Sex, farming, Wangxian Run an Organic Farm as God Intended, Found Family, Families of Choice, Adoption, Trans Male Character, Married WangXian, Established Relationship)

Across the street to another life by danegen (M, 99k, WangXian, Modern AU, unleashed au, Family Fluff, Set in America, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Addiction, Crime, Amnesia, Ableist Language, another fridged mother, POV Alternating, past wwx/ofc, past wwx/omc, Medium parent YZY, A-Yuan is wwx’s biological son, Musicians, Happy Ending) this one also has WangXian being great parents, but it's not the main plot of the story.

my little love by mellowflicker (T, 54k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, kindergarten teacher!lwj, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Pining)

box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

❤️ Seen and not heard by eatmyass (E, 51k, wangxian, case fic, no sunshot, kid fic, dadxian, strangers to lovers, found family, LWJ pov, pining, fake/pretend relationship, first time, falling in love)

❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste for williedustice (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, [PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)

~*~

14. thanks for your hard work admins! itmf darkji fics :) once again, ty!!

~*~

15. Can you please give me all the Fic Recs you can find on A) WWX getting his body back? Post canon. I’m struggling to find them. And also B) post canon reconciliation docs with JC and Jin ling, and/or C) post canon fica where wwx night hunts and gets injured, and nearly dies? And worries everyone. Please and thank you. @/the-daydreamer

15A)

Touch That Body, (It's Not Mine) by brrrrrRawr (T, 3k, WangXian, WWX in WWX's original body, Fluff, Pet Names, Blushing, No Smut, Genius WWX, yunmeng bros reconciliation, endgame lotus pier, big bro wwx rights, also dad wwx rights, BAMF WWX, Bad Writing, Body Dysphoria, So OOC)

15B)

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 63k, WangXian, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Protective WWX, Protective JL, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Reluctant Matchmaker JL, [PODFIC] Rotten Work by sakizar) qualifies for both 15B and 15C

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) this fic works for both b and c I think

Imprints by Lisa_Telramor (G, 47k, WangXian, accidental puppy adoption, Humor, Panic Attacks, phobia recovery, Post-Canon, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Poor Life Choices, Self-Acceptance, Developing Relationship, fluff with a side of anxiety lol, WWX adopts a puppy, Dogs)

other side of paradise by blueseam (T, 12k, JC & WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Platonic hair-washing, excessive amounts of communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

singing through the dark by twigofwillow (G, 13k, JL & WWX, WangXian, Post-Canon, Yunmeng bros reconciliation if you squint, angst with a tiny bit of fluff)

everyone else is spring bound by Lise (T, 18k, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Post-Finale, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Minor WangXian, Yunmeng bros Reconciliation, JC Needs a Hug, POV JC, Family Feels, Light Angst, Reconciliation, Awkward Conversations)

some good mistakes by Lise (T, 18k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Road trips, rescue Missions, Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Conversations, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, [Podfic] some good mistakes by kisahawklin )

an aging wound by Lise (G, 7k, JC & WWX, POV WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng bros Reconciliation, Awkward Conversations, Light Angst, but mostly just the awkward conversations, Dysfunctional Family, Post-The Untamed (TV), Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels)

With Absolute Splendor by Lise (T, 43k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Wedding planning, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Complicated Relationships, Angst with a happy ending, [Podfic] With Absolute Splendor by kisahawklin, [PODFIC] With Absolute Splendor by Gwogobo)

Jiang Cheng goes Traveling Series by gbuzy12 (G, 11k, JC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Light Angst Post-Canon, yunmeng bros reconciliation)

Reeds in the Wind by merakily (T, 26k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Yunmeng bros Reconciliation, Rabbit Therapy, Sewing Therapy, PTSD, Emotional Baggage, Hurt/Comfort, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC Needs a Hug) 15C)

let the yoke fall from our shoulders by occultings (microcomets) (G, 2k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Character Study, Mentions of Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Happy Ending, Family Feels, Established Relationship)

~*~

16. Any fanfiction about the xicheng ship.

Audience of One by WinterDreams (T, 181k, XiCheng, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, Celebrities, Inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Singer LXC, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Slow Burn, Family Feels, Family Bonding, past emotional abuse, Post-Betrayal, Venerated Triad Feels, Yunmeng Duo Feels, Nightmares, Fluff and Angst, Babysitter Ā-Qìng, Domestic Fluff, SongXiao mentioned relationship, Soft XiCheng, Eventual Happy Ending, implied MingYao)

~*~

17. pls rec some post canon fluff :)

with such a suffering, such a deadly life by cqlorphan (T, 7k, wangxian, post-canon, curses, curse breaking, getting together, angst w/ happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort, affection, touch-starved LWJ, LWJ whump, cuddling & snuggling, love confessions)

Continuation by thefaceofno (T, 13k, WangXian, Canon Continuation, wwx builds a lotus pond in cloud recesses, Hair Brushing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Angst, Pining, gay disaster lwj, Post-Canon Fix-It)

Deeper grows my longing by feyburner (T, 4k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, First Kiss, Deeper grows my longing [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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