#aspec dyke

[genderqueerdykes]

how do i try to put this for people who get confused about aromantic lesbians and gays. not every aro lesbian is like this so disclosure: i am talking about my experience as an aro lesbian, but i feel like it's still important to discuss. lesbians can be aromantic and asexual, and even both- i am on the ace spectrum, so i can be considered an aroace lesbian. the thing is, i still experience lesbian and sapphic attraction even if it's not necessary romantic.

the way i try to phrase it is i have a deep attraction toward all dykes: butches, studs, bulldykes, femmes, lesboys, transbians, non binary dykes, intersex dykes, transmasc, ftm & trans male dykes, transfem dykes, genderqueer dykes, male dykes, bigender dykes, genderfluid dykes, two-spirit dykes. and sapphic identifying women, men & people. i'm dyke oriented. i want to be around other dykes of any identity- i want to live in domestic environmnets with other lesbians & dykes, taking care of one another, making sure we're alright.

i want to be there for other dykes in my community. i want to come visit to check on how they're doing when they're sick. i wanna be there to listen to the stone butches when they feel estranged. i want to give them groceries that i didn't end up liking but i know they would. i want to laugh and joke and goof off with other dykes. i want to be there to listen when they have gender or identity dysphoria. i wanna go bowling with the butches. i wanna workout at the gym with the bulls. i wanna go clothes shopping with the lesboys & boydykes to find them clothes that make them feel like themselves. i want to give other dykes a place to stay when they're going through hard times. i want to befriend with the weird "crazy" "ugly" dykes who are freaky. i want to be there when something scary happens so i can provide comfort and support. i want to help give resources and aid to other poor dykes who need it.

there are a lot of ways to be a dyke, lesbian, or sapphic. whatever you want to call yourself under this umbrella, there are a tons of ways to express it. i don't have to want to cuddle, kiss or hug other dykes in a romantic fashion. maybe i like surrounding myself with other dykes. maybe i just really prefer the company of other dykes. it's not that hard to wrap one's brain around once you break it down like that. there's a million other ways to be in someone else's company and spend time together. i assure you there is more to adult relationships than sex and romance. those are wonderful things for the people who enjoy them, but for those of us who are aromantic and/or asexual, there are many other ways to enjoy the company of other folks in a very queer fashion.

happy pride to every aromantic spectrum lesbian, dyke & sapphic person, you deserve to be seen and heard just as much as every other dyke. you matter

[vampjasper]

Sometimes I get really happy thinking about women (because I'm gay as fuck) and then I get really sad thinking about how I'm AroAplAce (and omniaspec too) and don't actually experience the attraction to actually be in a relationship with a woman 😭

Yes, I know QPRs and alterous attraction exist but I'm aspec for those too which really complicates things 💔

[aholotte]

happy international lesbian day to aspec lesbians trans lesbians nonbinary lesbians intersex lesbians mspec lesbians lesboys straight lesbians bigender lesbians he/him lesbians butches femmes studs dykes et al! we are so kewl

[love-ardour-anarchism]

She’s never felt as queer and she has never felt like any label fit her

and since I was a child I have been seeking to explain the ways I’ve felt to put in words exactly how I’ve felt I’m unlike all the other kids at school, at church and later at the parties and I had to get drunk to tolerate that sharpest feeling in throat near everytime that someone does remind me that the way I feel is not the way most people do

despite my best and brightest efforts and despite my obsession that led me then to poetry as my idea of a career I’ve never felt that how I felt felt quite the way that others said they felt when speaking of their love, relationships, connection, sex and all these other things and all the normativty has made me feel alone like I’m unlike all of the others and now aged 28 I still don’t get what “romance” is and I’m not sure if aromantic is the way I feel cause I love all the things that people think are “romance” when stripped off their compulsive nature and off the normativity and I get lost for days and hours at a time just trying to define the ways I’ve felt but failing everytime

and since the day I gifted it last spring she's worn a rainbow pin with holding hands depicted there upon her jacket’s collar for everyone to see and I feel damn near drunk when we hold hands just walking down the street in public

when she and I first met she wasn't one for labels and I don't think she'll ever be but she has mentioned some along the way and when she says that she feels so unwomanly I cannot help but tear myself in two between the adoration I feel for the way she is and all she does and how she thinks and acts and walks and talks and all the pain I feel alike there in her place, to be unlike the way that people think you ought to be and to be seen in ways that they don’t think that you are meant to be and to see things in ways that they don’t think you’re meant to see

and last night we were walking, in freezing cold, in some forsaken and industrial place were going to the store to get me sober drinks to take back to a party that had none she said that she thinks her classmates know shes queer and I spoke of the way they looked at me when I said I’m her girlfriend

Much later we got home and sat and talked for hours heads resting on each others shoulders were speaking of the fears we'd faced together

and the next morning I found on my bathroom mirror written there in lipstick smudged yet clear two colors and four characters

I <3 U

and I don't think I've felt as queer as when she called herself the same and there my heart grew corvid wings the feathers black and white and grey and fluttered right away a magpie nesting in my throat my voice becomes so soft when I just speak of her

last night I cried and then we held each other I told her that I'm always seeking labels and she told me she knew am trying to define, find truth and rules and piece together who and what I truly am and all these words escape me and looking at me from inside that bathroom mirror is myself aged ten or so and in her eyes I see the fear that none will love me like I love Yet in her arms I'm babbling brook and wings with softest feathers am broken-bawling-sobbing, bold and brave, am breathing softly there bereft of my most infant fears I’m everything at once and I cannot explain but when she kissed my forehead I felt sunlight in the dark of night that I am everything at once and cannot explain and I cannot find words in order to contain

and looking at me with her gaze so soft and gay she asked me why I think I have to and I think that I felt attacked at first but in her arms I'm starting to believe that maybe I don't have to and we can simply feel the way we feel can live and love each other in ways that none but us will ever truly understand and that perhaps I'm capable of learning to feel just okay with that

.SCRR

[crucified-bloodhound]

fags and dykes on the asexual spectrum i love you

[dragonboything]

It’s that time y’all 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[anentitee]

loveless aromantics who are basically in limbo being told to turn to platonic love or familial love for today, i’m here for y’all

[eclipsecrowned]

j*swit as a genuine romance: no. j*swit as qpp combined slay: feed it to me like grapes.

[closingtime1973]

Thinks about our identity for more than two seconds and a health bar appears above our head

[leikeliscomet]

The gag is I was always expecting some type of acephobia on here to happen at some point. This place is the OG ace exclusionist site after all. But I never expected it (and maybe I should've have done) to come from predominantly the asexual community. I've experienced it from a non-asexual queer person like once. I've experience it from non-aspec cishet people plenty of times (but it's hard to measure sometimes cus I didn't ID as ace when the moments happened and it wasn't based on that reason but if I wasn't ace it prolly wouldn't have happened so at the bare minimum it was some type of compulsory sexuality). But being told specifically that asexual people need to go to therapy to unpack sex repulsion, aversion and indifference, that ace people are puritans or more puritan than other identities, that I'm a puritan (because puritans love Black dykes don't they lmaoooo), that sexless ace people are stereotypes that inherently harm aces that have sex and experience sexual attraction and shouldn't be represented or centered in asexual activism, that asexuality doesn't need representation or pride, that people don't need to come out as ace because sexuality should be private didn't come from the kinky horny allo queers™, it didn't come from the cishets™, it *all* came from ace people. On here.

[femboy-catgirl]

bi lesbian because I prefer dating women over men and saying lesbian when asked about my preferences because it is easier to explain my attraction to women that way. bi lesbian because men are cool and awesome and I'm not opposed to dating one but liking girls is more relevant to my identity. bi lesbian because I'm bi but my attraction to women is the highlight. bi lesbian because I'm a raging dyke. bi lesbian because I'm more comfortable in lesbian spaces yet I'm still proudly bi. bi lesbian because I've only gotten crushes on women or people who thought they were women at the time. bi lesbian because I like men while being a dyke. bi lesbian because saying lesbian is easier than saying bi dyke. bi lesbian because I LOVE genderfucky people. bi lesbian because I also like genderqueer non women.

I'm bi, aspec and a lesbian.

I'm a dyke, a torta (south american spanish for lesbian/dyke, technically a slur) even.

I love women.

[shrimpmandan]

It's always been so weird to me that people are all about ideas such as "language is made up, words evolve, everyone has a unique sexuality!" when it comes to lesbians and asexuals, but when it comes to bisexuality, the conversation suddenly becomes "actually this term has a rigid definition and if you identify with it, you're transphobic and behind the times"

And like, bi history is a massive interest for me, right? I'm not gonna claim to be a historian, but the amount of people who say shit about bisexuality that's just plain incorrect is insane.

Bisexuals have always shared spaces, terms, and community with lesbians and gays. Many bisexuals called themselves lesbian or gay prior to coming out, and many of them hold onto both labels-- thus bi lesbians and bi gays. Hell, I fucking identify as bisexual and gay simultaneously. I think I always have. The fact that I would only get significant flack for this if I was a bisexual woman identifying simultaneously as a lesbian is fucking insane. "Dyke" and "fag" and everything in-between has always been inclusive of bisexuals. Bisexual butches, femmes, twinks, bears, and everything in-between have always existed.

Bisexuality has MULTIPLE definitions. Not just historically, but person-to-person. I know bisexuals who are attracted to people regardless of gender or sex. I know bisexuals who only date cis men or cis women. I know bisexuals who have fucked women but only date men and vice-versa. I know bisexuals who have even more esoteric and specific orientations, such as only dating men and trans women, or only dating women and trans men. And regardless of how you feel about any of those, they are still bisexuals. Those are still forms of bisexuality. It is an orientation that is inherently varied, and has become increasingly so as the arbitrary, rigid lines between male and female have been weathered by the sands of change.

Hell, people LOVE that one post about a bi trans man identifying as both a butch lesbian and a gay man-- and I get it. I could never personally-- it'd make me VERY dysphoric-- but I never much cared for the dynamics of opposite sex relationships. It's something that's very awkward to navigate as a bi trans person. Subconsciously, I've always entered same-gender relationships. Back when I still identified as a bi woman, I dated and preferred women. Now, as a bi man, I largely date and prefer men. And yet, being aspec, I'm also indifferent to most people sexually. Simultaneously, everyone is hot and everyone is meh. Not repulsive, just meh. It's a weird reality to live. Effectively, I fuck or date people regardless of gender. If I'm feeling fancy, I define my bisexuality as being attracted to both types of sex characteristics regardless of their configuration-- explicitly inclusive of intersex and trans people.

And yet people still refuse the variance of the bi experience, whether it's bisexuality as neutrality, bisexuality as "every relationship I'm in is gay", bisexuality as in "I don't even really think about the gender/sex of who I'm attracted to", or anything in-between. Bisexuality is oversimplified as "attracted to two or more genders", or "attracted to both genders/sexes", as if those definitions fully encapsulate the bi experience when they don't. Plenty of bisexuals absolutely fit into those two definitions, but to act as if ALL of us do, to deny the rich history and variance of bisexuality, has been a deep-rooted and recurring problem that loves rearing its ugly head every damn year.

Happy Pride Month.

[mudoranbutchh]

Welcome to my blog!

Introducing myself…

My name’s Butch. I’m a trans guy, a butch dyke, a bi/pan menace, aspec—whatever’s convenient for the plot. My identity transcends simple labels. I’m also neurodivergent (I have OCD). This blog is a safe space for queer folk and other marginalized groups.

DNI if you are a:

TERF

Transmed/truscum

Zionist

Racist, homophobic, ableist, any type of bigot honestly

Person who doesn’t respect my faith (it’s alright if you disagree with me, but I’m not really looking to debate with others about whether or not my practice is valid or real)

This is a SFW blog, but I kindly ask that you not DM me if you are a minor.

So… what’s this blog for?

This is my pagan blog! I recently started getting into paganism, specifically Mudoran (LoZ) paganism. I have taken an interest in following Lady Hylia and am working on a shrine for her.

Expect to see the following on this blog:

My personal contributions to the community (logging my spiritual journey)

Reblogging other Mudoran posts

LoZ content in general

Pagan content in general

Occasional posts relating to paganism and OCD/anxiety (I’m diagnosed)

That’s all from me!

May the Goddess smile upon you…

[t4tsalmon]

happy lesbian day to mspec lesbians, lesboys, boydykes, dykes, he/him lesbians, lesbians who don't use she/her, multigender lesbians, multigender lesbians who are also men/have masc genders, genderfluid lesbians, genderfluid lesbians who are men and/or have masc genders, nonbinary lesbians, genderqueer lesbians, transmasc lesbians, bear lesbians, hairy lesbians, fat lesbians, butch lesbians, futch lesbians, femme lesbians, aro lesbians, ace lesbians, aroace lesbians, aspec lesbians and all the other lesbians that the community tries to erase from existance because they hate it when lesbians identify in a way they don't like or aren't appreciated enough

You are cared for and more people support and accept you than you think, exclusionists are just a very loud minority, don't feel disencouraged to identify as you please, you have a place in the community, you have history, you always belonged and always will

[saltlickmp3]

theres a certain brand of like. generic 2014 cishet girl fangirling attraction towards peter capaldi that is so befuddling to me like?? not to hate or anything im sure youre having lots of fun with your. apparently very romantic parasocial relationship but maybe i really am just more of a dyke or more aspec than i thought because admiring the bone structure of his face is DEFINITELY not what some people are doing

[crimeronan]

How did you figure out you were polyam and aspec. Cause I’m having suspicions about myself and your outlook on relationships is pretty similar to mine

my answer is not going to be very helpful i'm afraid because to a point i've just...... always known. i did have crushes when i was younger but a lot of that was just projecting a life i wanted, rather than a real relationship with the other person. i've been in an open relationship (then turned polycule) since i was 16 because vi and i established extremely early that neither of us experience jealousy or care if the other fucks other people. figuring out my asexuality was a later development but prior to that i'd been having sex and doing sex work because it felt like something i Should be doing, so i might as well get paid for it. as a kid i always thought of relationships as friendships that include cuddling and/or sex, i didn't even realize that romantic desire was a real thing, i just didn't know there was a word for it. my romantic "crushes" have all really just been really deep admiration and excitement and desire for closeness with someone. maybe that IS what romantic feelings are?? but i don't fuckin know. i felt the same way about close friendships.

perhaps a more helpful answer is that i'm less invested in polyamory and aroaceness as definitions of who i Am, they're more definitions of what i Do. other people have their own views on their sexuality and relationships but! this is mine. i'm polyamorous because i've created a queer family of life partners and we all use "dating" and "partner" terminology for each other, even though some of us don't fuck or get romantic butterflies. i'm aroace because i don't particularly want to fuck or get romantic butterflies. i'm a lesbian dyke for gender reasons and also because i say so and because i always have been.

like it doesn't matter who you Are, on the inside. it just matters how you want to conduct your relationships and what language you want to use to define you. i have some aroace friends who structure their families similarly to me but use "sibling" or "friend" to describe their people instead of "wife" "qpp" "partner." doing it that way would squick me out because of my relationship with my actual siblings, but calling their friends/siblings their spouses would similarly squick them out bc they do not want that kind of relationship!

like. words mean whatever you want them to mean with queerness. you can do literally whatever you want forever.