#mordi moment

[autixel]

MASTERLIST OF STUFF I'VE MADE WITH MY CHARACTERS

Making this bc sometimes I post videos and tumbles won't let me edit tags on that for some reason

I have many, many ocs and some may only show up once, others will show up frequently.

The older tags are still active due to the properties of tags on videos that I haven't subverted yet, but from now on the tag will be oc tag: [insert character]

Some videos/content are not posted on Tumblr because I wasn't crossposting oc content at the time or I've since deleted the files used and cannot obtain them without reconstructing the entire video from scratch.

📽️ - video

🖼️ - image

✉️ - text

📷 - posted to instagram only (link)

The Moth Burns

CANON/SOMEWHAT CANON

✉️ 2023 edition The Moth Burns Chapter 1 "The Room"

✉️ 2023 edition The Moth Burns Chapter 2

✉️ Mordi introduction

✉️ Thalia introduction

🖼️ Badass Lueja

🖼️ Alles in the evening

📽️ "The Start vs The End" ft Mordi, Wendare

📷🖼️ Lueja in the beginning vs an end

📷🖼️ Another Mordi introduction

📽️ "Sleeping Dragon" ft Mordi and Original Defect

🖼️ Formal Alles

🖼️ The Day the Bomb Goes ft Morkla, Kailuen

🖼️ Two Robots (cw: artistic nudity, back only)

📽️ "Sister Interaction" ft. Mordi, Kailuen

🖼️ Hiding ft. Mordi, Alles

🖼️ It's Still You ft. Mordi

NOT CANON

📽️ "Patrick Bateman" ft Mordi, Kailuen

📽️ "Broom Closet" ft Mordi, Alles

📽️ "Calm, Reasonable Person" ft Mordi, A.95

🖼️ Corgi sitting at table

🖼️ Badass Mordi ft 2021 Mordi concept

📷📽️ Narrator Alles Games Ending (I think?) ft Mordi, Alles

📷📽️ Mordi does not like being alone with her thoughts ft Mordi

🖼️ Mordi gets caught in the rain ft Mordi and Wendare

🖼️ Mordi in the Evening ft Mordi

🖼️ Saiki K. X Mordi Kelgerin ft Mordi

📽️ "Objection" ft Mordi

🖼️ Thanksgiving 2023 ft. Mordi, Alles, Lueja, Fox, Wolf, Firebird, Wendare, Morkla, Kailuen, A.22

🖼️ Mordi drawing

🖼️ Mordi's Birthday 2024 ft Mordi

OTHER

🖼️ Wip of Calm, Reasonable Person

✉️ Wendare as the "your boyfriend" meme

📽️ Edit of Mordi and Alles

🖼️ Kailuen practice

📷📽️ Mordi spins around

📽️ wip of Sleeping Dragon ft Mordi and Original Defect

🖼️ Scrapped Mordi Birthday sketch (screenshot)

🖼️ Original Defect practice

Me infodumping in the tags about my stories, may not be fully cohesive

Parallel between Alles and Mordi

A difference between Alles and Mordi

*see ✉️Mordi intro for whole run-down on The Moth Burns

Unsorted

Stardew Valley

🖼️ Cat Ears ft Farmer [74] [337], autixel

🖼️ sdv pet "Crow"

Miscellaneous OCs

🖼️ concept art for Seynar, Casey, Robbykins, and a witch

🖼️ Adult Thalia ft. Thalia

🖼️ Sadie (Mecha magical girl) concept art ft. Sadie

🖼️ Angel and Hellcat: Interaction ft. Hellcat, Angel, Archangel

✉️ Character Introductions ft. Brightline, Daystrider, Vihreä

[snikt111]

I HATE THIS GAME (i love it) I HATE TMHIS GAME (i love it) I HATE THIS GAME SOOOO FUCKING MUCH (im so obsessed) I WISH THE DEVS A VERY NEVER HAVE EXISTED (im kissing them on the mouth)

[roachzrivia]

I was going to spend my day off playing final fantasy but instead I played the tutorial, spilled my coffee, and spent the rest of the afternoon crying in the dark because apparently I can't handle anything at the moment.

[alastors-radioshow]

He remained silent, simply attempting to will himself to relax. Oh, it was hard. His anger being heightened by the situation he found himself in at the moment made it mighty hard for him to regain composure.

He just stared out the window, teeth gritted, claws digging into his own palms.

"..."

@axcat

Mordecai had gotten home not too long ago and is now reading a book while sitting on the couch, one ankle resting on the other leg's knee. He looks up when he hears and smells blood. "...you're making yourself bleed, dear."

@alastors-radioshow

[fuckingfrenkismyfuckingname]

.1 celestia

.2 give em hell pony

.3 to the park

.4 you know what they do to pony's like us in Tartarus

.5 I'm not a simp ( I promise )

.6 the ghost of dude

.7 the alicorn life is gonna kill you

.8 mordy moments

.9 thank you for the friendship

.10 bird-like guy

.11 it's not a fashion statement, it's my emotions, darling

.12 park walk

.13 I never told you what I wished for in the beginning

Guys please this took so long please

[paperdice]

Mordecai (lackadaisy) x male black cat reader who’s autistic(the awkward but good at math/science kind)?

𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐢 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬)

"Will you keep it a secret? don't let them have it."

small note, reader being male isn't as heavily influencing in the hcs, it leans more into dating hcs

৻ꪆ There's a lot things Mordecai is, he just never showed an interest in becoming a future lover to someone, or for anyone rather. The thought has crossed his mind, only due to others trying to invade his personal business.

৻ꪆ Doesn't mean its not possible, you snuck and snuggled your way into his heart, a fellow male black cat with quite the train of thought. But with impressive math and science skills, your awkward self landed a total babe real tough catch.

৻ꪆ Mordecai compliments you on your math skills, specifically Geometry (he loves geometry), he's more impressed on that aspect of you than the science side.

৻ꪆ His compliments sound a bit dry naturally till it comes to the Geometry talk, but since he's not a science guy himself he does get impressed over your science skills too.

৻ꪆ The slight difference in compliments towards you and others is that you receive a bit more than others. However these compliments sound normal, he doesn't get in the lovely dovey, puppy eyes in amazement kinda way.

৻ꪆ For you to be in Mordecai's likes already, you need to be extremely clean, he has a phobia he'll never admit, being germophobic. So when you guys start dating, physical contact is especially rare. He hates the risk of germs

৻ꪆ You need to be very patient and accept this factor of him before you began dating, so you know the rocky road ahead without overthinking he doesn't care for you.

৻ꪆ Your appearance deeply matters too, hes seen as a very presentable cat himself you know, so he would also look out for your appearance as well. Sadly, he wouldn't be too sweet about it, but he's not rude about it either.

৻ꪆ "You should fix your hair. It's asymmetrical and improper looking." Something like that would come out of his mouth, would he go out of his way and fix it for you himself? A one in a million chance he would, so far luck hasn't come your way.

৻ꪆ As expected, his line of work forces him to keep your relationship a secret. It's better not to let anyone have even a hint of his relationship with you. It'll only put you in danger of enemy gangs.

৻ꪆ This could also put him in danger as well, he does NOT let anyone see he has a vulnerable side and that your his lover. Having gained such a looked upon reputation only means he needs to keep it up to its given name.

৻ꪆ Though don't let this bring you down, he does show his care for you, one method is through letters. He tries to be romantic when writing to you but he executes it in a very creepy way. I mean have you seen Tracy's valentine art piece of mordy?? yeah bro..

৻ꪆ If your ever sick it'll be one of the only times he'll physically touch you (knowing full heartily you got germs) to tend your sickness. He'll first make you food that he used to make for his sisters when they were sick.

৻ꪆ Brew some tea as well as not minding to drag you to bed and tuck you in himself. Blankets piled up on your warm body, times like these is what reminds you he truly does care.

৻ꪆ One of his own ways of looking out for you is memorizing your routine. He keeps a sharp eye on every one of your tracking moves, this is so he knows of your safety.

৻ꪆ Every step you make has been written down to Mordecai's mind, in case you need him, to know what you're doing in that specific moment, the spots you go frequently is sewn to his mind.

৻ꪆ This keeps him at some ease, that your safe while he's free. Though you're not supposed to know this, it's something he keeps to himself. This also helps when you lose something too.

৻ꪆ Ever wonder how he always knows the spots you constantly lose your things in? He memorized those too to save both of your times.

৻ꪆ Have you seen the piece Tracy drew for a comm? It seems that Mordy likes it when his partners read with him. He'd like it when you're sitting next to him, resting your chin on his shoulder while he reads away. If only you could see the faintest of smiles laying on his face.

I kept pushing this one aside cuz I wanted to nail mordys character accurately. While I was writing I noticed the lack of reference to the reader being male so I wanted to add the note in the beginning. Thank you for the request, come and roll again if you're thinking of doing another!

[silversodas]

The Tornado vs The Glass Cannon

Rocky and Mordecai’s interactions in the side comics have painted them as pretty interesting foils for each other

Mordecai surprised me in this comic, I expected him to write off Rocky like everyone else does whenever he says or does something weird. But Mordecai just questions his actions and engages in an honest not to bad conversation with Rocky. (They seem like the type of people that have conversations that take 20 different directions and no one can follow) They have the potential for a pretty interesting dynamic and I am interested to see if they get one in the animated series especially with how the pilot turned out. And yes, they didn’t interact in the pilot, but Rocky was the only one to surprise and get the drop on Mordecai, also I need to talk about Mordecai’s questionable quick draw skills. Let’s start closer to the beginning

People have already noticed that Mordecai was shocked and recognized Ivy

But he also makes an effort as discreetly as he can to divert the twin’s attention away from Ivy and the others

“Can we not prolong this? We have more pressing matters to attend to”

His eyes dart away from them while saying this, showing he is not being genuine. I am on board with the observation that he left to try and find out who killed Atlas, and at this point I think he was of the mind set that he didn’t want to hurt Ivy but would if he had to. He spectates until Serafine warns him they might be thinking he doesn’t want to kill them and this is my first “do you just not shoot fast?” Moment comes up

When trying to shoot Rocky, he takes so much time that Rocky notices him and gets Ivy to make a hard left, but maybe the audience is just viewing it slower then it’s actually happening? Because when Rocky is able to dodge the bullet it hitting the radiator instead gives Mordecai pause

He slowly lowers his gun and raises an eyebrow, almost like he is thinking “huh, that wasn’t supposed to happen” like he was surprised he was able to dodge the bullet

The second time with Calvin is really weird because he gave Calvin enough time to stop being dizzy, look around, and then notice that a gun was in his face

Like are you planning to shoot him sometime this year Mordy? You could have head shot him three freaking times in the time he was trying to get up. Are you giving them opportunities to get away?

This is also when our Tornado Rocky gets the drop on our Glass Cannon

This is the first time his facade drops and is truly shocked, even looks around dumbly. A glass cannon is pretty much what it sounds like, something or someone vary dangerous or powerful but also vary fragile. Mordecai has delicate senses being incredibly OCD, he can improvise but only within the perimeters of how he thinks everyone works

And Rocky was a literal tornado in the pilot

Mordecai is no longer relaxed and indifferent, he is alert and wondering WTF is happening. He attempts to get closer to shoot Rocky just like Serafine and Nico are, but none of them can get close or land a shot

Rocky’s part in this fight feels like he is symbolically acting as a tornado, large, destructive, and Serafine nearly gets killed trying shoot him. I am interested to see how that ability gets used in the future, because not only does he make a grate distraction, he is a distraction you can’t touch.

And then there is where he spared Ivy, which is the most interesting. I do think Victor is part of the reason he didn’t want to hurt Ivy, this is his third, taking his sweet time to shoot shot. But this one feels more like an exchange and leads me to believe that he has his own dynamic with her

Ivy notices Mordecai point a gun at her, but says nothing and doesn’t even alert Rocky or Calvin

She has time to duck, to warn the boys, but doesn’t, she could be frozen in fear, but I doubt it. Actually she doesn’t even look that afraid, almost like she is staring him down. As if she knows she doesn’t have to duck because she knows he won’t shoot her, she doesn’t even drive any faster. She is proven right in the end

He doesn’t even seem insulted at her sureness that he wont shoot her, if anything the sigh he lets out is more like a “you could at least act like I would shoot you” it seemed like he thought he was willing to hurt Ivy if he had to, but isn’t really surprised to learn he was wrong

But this is just how I read all of this, I can’t be sure if he was shooting slow intentionally or if I am just missing something

[writeblrfantasy]

I finished my wip!!!

i just wrote a climax i've had in my head for over two years, and it turned out more brilliantly than i could've hoped! i never thought this wip would be finished, but even at its very rough stage, it's done! it's on paper!

THE FLAME AT THE END OF THE WORLD is clocking in draft 1 at 106k, 365 pages! onwards we go towards editing, but i would love to see some celebration emojis in the reblogs!

and, a quick blurb about the premise, because i haven't been posting about it lately:

a prince (elys) with the gift of divine flame was chosen at birth to end the world and sculpt something new from the ashes. after the cataclysmic massacre of his home, his family, and his peace, he and his loyal bodyguard (mordi, the pov character) set out on a fated journey to collect nine rare ingredients that will make elys stronger, wiser, and powerful enough to wield the flame and end the world when the time comes. none could be more faithful or protective than mordi, a mage of shadow and moonlight. after growing up with elys and spending every moment of their adult lives guarding his door, mordi can safely say he's been in love with elys all his life. his loyalty conflicts with his unrequited love as he helps elys toward the rebirth of everything they've ever known.

[labratboygirl]

HAAAIIII GUUUYYYSSSSS im pax but i also go by ren + argos ^_^ ((ihave more names too ……..on here)) iuse he/it as well as licherally Any neos . i dont care you can go hogwild

i post a lotta art ((can be found with #my art)) BUT for the most part this blog is me just .screaming into the distance

fictionkin otherkin and objectum btwwwww :3333 dont like it then too bad brotherrrrrrr

im a minor BUT i DO post suggestive shit occasionally so like . you can do that kinda thing too as long as it isnt Off The Rails

i am autistic about many many things but at the moment im EXTRA autistic about::

miitopia

kinitopet

cult of the lamb

in the lives of puppets

drive45

machine girl

ashur gharavi

no Specific dni outside the basic criteria but there is a block button in my hand and im not afraid to use it

FAIR WARNINGS:: i tend to post vent shit ((tagged with #casually spills guts)) gore ((NOT IRL GORE DW also tagged with #gore)) and once again suggestive thangs ((tagged with #suggestive , #nsfw text , or #nsfw depending on the intensity))

other socials r yt insta cohost and discord ((labratgurlzz))

other blogs r @kanditopia ((miitopia blog)) @happystarzarchive ((twomp blog)) @icymoonzexpl0rer ((17776 blog)) and @kinb0x ((kin blog)) most of these are inactive except the kin blog LMAO

@r3drashii @ballpit-bakery @mordi-mord @idiot-mage-cloudie @chill-vibes-but-rainbow-panic @spoopy-chipster <- SILLYSQUADDERS‼️‼️ ((also first one is my wiifee btw ifyou even caaaarrrrreeeee)

have fun i guess

[wyldblunt]

It is I, the previous anon unmasked. I have questions about the Mordrem Daimhin post: what caused them to give in to Mordy :0c

(the mordrem dav post in question, since i'm answering this late!) OKAY SO.... i initially intended for this to be a quick doodle answer but then as i started chewing on it i realized to answer this question i have to talk about. basically dav's entire life story. and i'm incapable of brevity. so oops, here's an illustrated essay about daimhin's entire life story?

let's talk it out. let's start with this.

let's say you awake a valiant of the wyld hunt, entwined with another -- same day, different cycle. you wake up promptly at midnight, go straight to his pod and sit outside it. he takes his sweet fucking time, sleeping WAY in, and only finally ambles his way out a few scant seconds before daybreak, yawning.

you've seen the same things, and neither of you know what any of it means; none of the images in your entwined dreams seem to actually crystallize into a task. but you glimpse a symbol that matches one day on a banner, find out it's the emblem of the order of whispers, and know that must be where you need to go. so you start training.

he trains half as hard for twice the results. he cares half as much and gets twice the rewards. there was an assumption, when you first woke, that the two of you would stay in lockstep forever -- you must be absolutely equal, if you share a destiny -- but it doesn't hold true for even a moment.

(of course, you don't know he feels the same exact way about you; you don't know about the gnawing bitterness, the envy, that you can learn anything by trying hard enough, while he feels hopeless about anything that doesn't fall within his raw talent. he hides it well, and you never ask.)

he makes it into the order on his first try. but they don't want you.

you're devastated. he's not. "there's no time limit," he says, breezy as always. and it's not like he'd leave you behind.

but it takes two more years. two years, for you to hone yourself into something the order of whispers wants. as little as donner ever seems to care about the hunt, how can he suppress the itching it when it comes, the agitation? how can he outrun the resentment, when you're holding him in place?

you don't talk about it. you just keep your head down and work harder. the fear of his impatience morphing into contempt is a stronger motivator than anything else you've tried so far.

when you get through, you get through, and then, finally, it feels like you'll be rewarded -- because almost immediately, you run into the next symbol from your dreams. the dark and terrible thief, towering, wreathed in smoke, and FINALLY things are going right because he takes a professional interest in you immediately, mentors you, assigns you to his own personal task squad (and this, alone, is enough to make up for everything you've suffered so far). but.

holding the lightbringer's attention is difficult; pleasing him is impossible. to impress him? a complete fantasy, one you can't even daydream about for too long without hurting your own feelings.

this is when everything was meant to even out, and instead you're competing again. not just with donner, either; even with the stupid necromancer he already had, the one who can barely keep herself alive and seems to have NO formal training whatsoever.

worst of all -- as humiliating as it is to put this particular juvenile grievance into words -- he doesn't even seem to like you.

you keep your head down. you work harder. if anything, that makes it worse; the squeaky wheel gets the oil, after all, and you never make a sound.

then he replaces you.

("no, he didn't," donner insists, one night shortly after merrit's introduction, when you're complaining about it; "replacing you would be if you were kicked out of the squad. there's just a second mesmer now, that's all.")

but that's not all. you're watching.

it's not even that glyndwr is any less strict with the new mesmer, any less harsh towards her; but he's attentive. at times, he even seems concerned about her. you hear him call them his "charge," once, to one of his contacts at the vigil; he has only ever called the rest of you his "agents." the first time he slips up and calls them his son, you realize the enormity of the gap between you.

and it's incomprehensible. you have learned, quickly, that merrit is cowardly and self-absorbed. his mesmerism is disorganized, improvised, unflattering, concerned only with survival. he takes the easy way out in missions, over and over, always without hesitation and seemingly without shame; worse than that, he seems baffled by your disapproval when you confront him about it.

donner can tell how unhappy they make you. maybe that's why he's always so cruel to them. you're selfish enough not to do anything about it, to even be a little pleased by these scraps of locker room vengeance.

you keep your head down. you work harder. acceptance of your position grows around your ribs and down your throat like a strangling vine.

eventually, you're all dispatched to maguuma.

it's horrible, but so was orr. it's lonely, but so is everything else in your life. but the commander is twitchy, agitated, scattered. he jumps at shadows. he lashes out at comrades. is he thinking about what his behavior brings on all your heads, when he acts like this?

is he thinking about you when rytlock brimstone calls him a liability, and he snaps entirely?

obviously not. because after brimstone bests him and spits in the dirt, calling this outburst just another piece of evidence --

he leaves.

he leaves you here.

he leaves you to die in the fucking jungle.

("no he hasn't," merrit insists, even though she's been crying and panicking just like the rest of you. he goes on and on about how it's not fair to call it abandonment, about how it must be part of some greater plan, all that bullshit, and now even damage can't stand him and there has to be some scrap of satisfaction in that, that you're not the only one who's sick to death of the commander's precious favorite, but there isn't, there's just--)

this can't be him. this person cannot be the one who took up so much of your dream, the one who's supposed to be your destiny. unless that's all your dream was ever meant to be. can a wyld hunt be so awful? can your purpose be to die horribly, thousands of miles from home?

(until now, you have been very, very good at ignoring the call.)

(it hasn't known you well enough to tempt you.)

but... couldn't it be, that the commander's role in your story is now complete?

maybe this is exactly where you need to be. and if so, he brought you this far, safe and sound.

you can forgive him for this. after all, how could he have known...? how important it was, how vital, to bring--

[tavi-calypso]

Who's your least favorite Vault Hunter and your least favorite non-VH Borderlands character

Ooh. Tough question as i havent played that many VHs, (only Zer0, Mordy, Fl4K and Tim) so im gonna go character wise.

Character wise, my least favorite VH is PROBABLY Aurelia. I just dont like her character at all, she hasnt given me *good* character vibes in the moments ive seen her (BL3)

And my least favorite nonVH character is either Shade or Claptrap.

[autixel]

Mordi and her sister Kailuen :D

(Mordi is the one in the turtleneck)

[snikt111]

AHHHH CONFESSION SCENE IN SEASON 10

[tyrantisterror]

Wizard School Mysteries Book 3 Soundtrack

It's that time again! Another book published, another official unofficial soundtrack I made to listen to while working on it and am sharing for your listening pleasure. I know last time I waited until the first two Wizard School Mysteries books were both published to do a combined "Freshmen Year" soundtrack, but I'm not repeating that now for two reasons: first, the only reason I did that in the first place is because I had forgotten to post the book 1 soundtrack and didn't want it to get lost in the shuffle when I went to post book 2's, and secondly, there's a good chance I might work on Maude and Mordi and/or Dark Chivalry before publishing Book 4, and that would make for a very long wait, which would be a shame because after a year and a half of listening to it on and off I can confirm that this WSM soundtrack is a fucking banger.

There's the playlist for your listening pleasure, and after the cut I'll list the tracks and what they correspond to in the book! WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Chapter 1: How the Youths spent their Summer Vacation - Vacation by Vitamin C. We start the book with a mostly low-stakes chapter about our young adult heroes returning home (well, for about half of them anyway) after their first semester at college to enjoy summer vacation, and so out songtrack starts out with a peppy, fun song about vacation whose tonal dissonance with the rest of the soundtrack feels very appropriate to me.

Chapter 2: A Haunted Start - Season of the Witch by Lana Del Ray. As we get into the story proper and see things develop, we set the actual tone of the book with an appropriately spooky song about witches.

Chapter 3: Spirit Glue - The Vampire's Ghost by Jimmy Bower. I found this song on a big ol' set of Halloween soundtracks called Kandy Coated Kackles, and it inspired/named the character of May Shade well before Wizard School Mysteries was even a sparkle in my eye, so it felt kind of like a given to tie it to the chapter that introduces us to May proper.

Chapter 4: Resident Assistance - Float On by Modest Mouse. One of the great songs of my teenage years, I felt Float On was a good pick for Ladislava's character theme, being a list of anxieties followed promptly by how each one fizzled out and became manageable with just a short amount of time. Lad's arc in the books is focused on finding a way to relax and take things as they come which, in my experience, is one of the more valuable lessons to learn in your college years.

Chapter 5: Freyasday the 13th - Black by Toby Fox. Ok, I guess... I guess I have to explain a bit of Homestuck to you all now. So, right, Homestuck begins as this goofy adventure where teenagers play a video game that alters their own reality, first by adding monsters, and eventually giant meteors that threaten to destroy the world. Every now and then it cuts to one of those monsters, a living chess piece named Jack Noir, and his frustrations with the leadership of the monster army. Then, in one of the big moments of the story, Jack Noir kills the queen of the army, steals her empowering ring, and becomes a terrifying threat that alters the course of the story so severely that it changes from "goofy comedic adventure" to "adventure with now very real and terrifying stakes for our heroes despite the goofy elements still being present." It's the entrance of what TV Tropes would call a "Knight of Cerberus," a character who raises the stakes so quickly that the tone abruptly shifts to be noticeably darker than before. Or, in short, a perfect theme for when Buddy finally runs into the Meddlesome Youths.

Chapter 6: The False Necromancer - Witchcraft by Frank Sinatra. This is less a theme for chapter 6 specifically and more for the book as a whole - it's where I got the book's title, "Wicked Witchcraft," from after all. But it also provides a nice break in the tension that's been building in the soundtrack, the way this chapter provides a brief break from the drama that's been building since the end of chapter 1. Plus I have to save the Lord Dhenregirr themes for Book 4.

Chapter 7: Finding Acheron - Soldier At War from Anna and the Apocalypse. Surprise, it's a Polybeus theme! This was the first song I chose for him back in the early pre-writing days of WSM, and it became so ingrained in my mind that I ended up planning a setpiece where he fights zombies in tribute to it. It's a fitting song, though - the character of Nick Saint in Anna and the Apocalypse enters the story seeming like a fairly one-dimensional cocky braggart, singing a song about how he's an uber-masculine badass who will save the day. But as the movie goes along, he reveals he's actually got a pretty good head on his shoulders and more heart than he'd admit, to the point where his reprise of the song - which occurs during a genuinely heroic sacrifice - has you hear lyrics that you thought were ironic and realize they were, in fact, genuine. That was all stuff I was planning for Polybeus's arc at the time I was putting together it together, and it stayed in the plan for him as the books so far have shown, so it's a really good fit for him even without the zombie fighting scene.

here's a weird break tumblr forced me to add for some reason

Chapter 8: Slashing Stones - Hellbent by Mystery Skulls. This song is specifically for the Buddy chase at the end of our chapter, as well as the slasher vs. gargoyle fight it explodes into. One of the reasons I assemble these soundtracks is to help me get a flow in mind for writing important action scenes, and I think this sets the tense and chaotic tone of Buddy's invasion of the AAAM really well.

Chapter 9: Remedial Demonology - Paint It Black by Versaemerge. It's a Gretchen theme, to no one's surprise since this is the Gretchen book! Well, perhaps there's a surprise that it took us nine chapters to get to a Gretchen-specific theme given the book's plot, but this is where it fit soundtrack-wise, and I do think this is kind of a crucial chapter for Gretchen's character development. Like Polybeus's theme two chapters up, I picked this song for Gretchen early in the planning stages of the series as a whole, before I even had the specific books figured out. Well, ok, tell a lie - I picked out the Rolling Stones version initially, but it didn't sit right with me to have a song with male vocals being used for a trans woman character, so I spent... a long time looking for covers of the song that 1. had a lady vocalist and 2. kept the elements of "Paint It Black" that I like, namely its almost hypnotic rhythm. There are some songs that feel like whirlpools to me - they sweep you up at the start and spin you faster and faster around as they get more and more intense, until you finally crash into the center at the end of it. "Paint It Black" is one of those songs, and while I listened to many interesting covers of it by lady musicians, this cover by Versaemerge is the only one that kept that whirlpool quality of the Stones's original take. And that's important to Gretchen's arc in this book particularly - she is a person with a pessimistic worldview, one who sees bright colors and can't help but paint them black, and in this story she's slowly sucked down into despair thinking she can never escape thinking that way. Book 3 is about saving Gretchen from that spiral, to get her to finally see the colors all around her.

Chapter 10: The Boy Behind the Mask - Baby Boy by Worthikids. Ironically, despite this chapter being a riff on the song Alex Cooper wrote for Jason Voorhees, I chose a different Friday the 13th inspired song to represent it on the soundtrack. Baby Boy is sung from the perspective of Pamela Voorhees, Jason's mother, and highlights the tragedy at the core of the series that's kind of overlooked by the movies themselves - namely that Jason was a child who drowned because of negligent child care workers, and that all the murders that spiral out of that negligence come from a place of grief and, weirdly, love. Which is, ultimately, what this chapter explores through Buddy - a very similar character to Jason that's being explored in a story that, unlike the Friday the 13th movies, can actually step back and explore the tragedy at the core of him. He's a child who's suffered a great deal of cruelty and neglect, and beneath the horrors he's committed there's grief, love, and trauma that needs to be dealt with.

Chapter 11: All Hallowed Eve - The Guide to Success by Joe Iconis. This song is for the coven and their benefactor, Shax, as the collective antagonist of the book - a song that demands a young worker server all social ties and devote themselves solely to advancing in the workplace by kissing the asses of their superiors and throwing away any notions of compassion and morality. A song about selling your soul on behalf of a company that doesn't give two shits about you, basically, i.e. a perfect summation of the villains' philosophy in this book.

Chapter 12: The Land of the Dead - Land of the Dead by Voltaire. I think it's pretty self explanatory how a song called "Land of the Dead" fits a chapter called "The Land of the Dead" that's about people exploring the land of the dead.

Chapter 13: The Devil and Gretchen Pappenheimer - Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance. In the early planning phases of this series, I knew I wanted Gretchen to have a Faust arc, and that I wanted it to resolve with a Devil and Daniel Webster style afterlife trial scene, and the rest of this book's plot all kind of fell in place in service of reaching that moment. So it's kind of funny to me that I had trouble finding a song that did the scene justice - one of my first attempts was "The Trial" by Pink Floyd, but it didn't feel quite right. I finally found what I was looking for during a different but related WSM soundtrack task - I was looking at songs from my college and high school years to add to the developing series soundtrack, and revisited the entirety of MCR's The Black Parade. That album was so important to me in college, and the ending of it, "Famous Last Words," is this beautiful finale where the protagonist of the album decides whether or not to keep on living or give in and die. Which, again, is kind of what Gretchen's story about - will she succumb to her own low view of herself, or will she realize there are people who love her and that she has a reason to fight for her right to exist? The increasingly passionate chorus of "I am not afraid to keep on living/I am not afraid to walk this world alone" "Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven" "Nothing you can say can stop me going home" fits this chapter so well, and I like to think of the two verses - nearly identical but different in slight ways - are sort of figurative Shax and Helseng using the same facts about Gretchen to argue different perspectives on her morality, while the build in the second half of the song - "I see you lying next to me/with words I thought I'd never speak/awake and unafraid/asleep or dead" - as the part of the chapter where Stinkbaby and Buddy provide the crucial soul-saving testimony on Gretchen's behalf. Man that's entirely too many thoughts on this, let's move on.

Chapter 14: Doom Defied - Death Is Not the End by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. I view this as a joint theme for both Gretchen and, oddly enough, Helseng, who doesn't appear in this chapter but was crucial for it being as happy as it is. In Gretchen's case, it shows the progress her arc has made since it began in the first book by being an inversion of her first theme, "Paint It Black." While "Paint it Black" is about feeling sorrow and grief even when surrounded by happiness and joy, "Death Is Not the End" is about finding hope and optimism even when facing a worse case scenario. Gretchen is no longer a person who assumes the worst about herself and how others view her, because she's face the worst fate she could imagine, and not only did her friends stick up for her, but Death herself argued that Gretchen deserved another chance. As for Helseng, well, "Death is not the end" is very much the message of the Death Arcana she represents, and the mechanical reality of what death is in the world of this story - and, by proxy, what her role is as a grim reaper. She is not the end of people, but the one who brings them to the next step of their journey, and a guide who loves her charges even as they face dire peril.

[nichenarratives]

Frozen Hearts 3

[Atlas talks to Mordecai about recent decisions.]

3. Regrets

Consciousness returns slowly, trickles of sensation flowing into a scattered mind, confusing and jumbled as Mordecai drags himself from the numbing comfortable blankness. At first, he's aware of very little; a roaring heat in his face and a heaviness around his body that seems to echo in his head; his thoughts are sluggish, his throat is thick and unresponsive, and an unusual leaden quality lingers in his limbs.

It's a chore to simply open his eyes. He squints, pince nez absent, but a raging fire is unmistakable in the old, familiar hearth as yellows, oranges and reds scald his retinas. Mordecai hisses and cringes, narrowing his eyes to slits in an attempt to lessen the sudden migraine they encourage, dragging the blanket wrapped around him over his face for a moment to allow his brain to catch up.

He soon wishes he hadn't, as he becomes aware not only of a deep cold in his bones but a sharp pain in his right arm - numerous sharp pains peppering his flesh, in fact. There's a radiating ache through the same shoulder too, spreading between his shoulder blades and sending sharp twangs up his neck. An attempt to move his arm sends fire down the length of it and he inhales sharply, squeezing his eyes shut with a low gasp, wishing he'd just stayed unconscious.

"Easy, Mordy. Try t'breathe normal, get that air in ya head." The advice goes mostly unheard, though Mordecai makes a concerted effort not to gasp again with someone else in the room. He inhales through bared teeth as the warm air sends another shudder rolling through his aching body, his left hip and right leg now throbbing in rhythm with his racing heart. He feels like a popsicle, refusing to thaw. "Quack's comin', an' I made a cuppa tea. You wanna sit up and drink it?"

Sitting up sounds like an awful idea. He tries to shake his head, but moving his neck sends a shooting pain down his entire right and Mordecai groans. Bare feet pass his head as Zib sets a china cup down nearby, then sentiments lost in translation, the tuxedo is little more than a painful ragdoll as the musician slips his arms under the triggerman's armpits and with a grunt of his own, hauls Mordecai off the rug and across to an armchair, legs dragging useless on the wooden boards. "C'mon… Heller. Help me out, would ya?"

Mordecai isn't in a state to help. His limbs won't comply and his brain remains fuzzy, distracted by the immense pain now apparent in his ribs and face. Grunting when he's deposited roughly into a chair, he finds himself left awkwardly angled against the backrest. Having staggered under his meager weight and not entirely sober, Zib sighs with relief and wipes a bead of sweat from his brow once he's done.

"Or don't," Zib mutters a touch sourly, then cringes as the usually snippy tuxedo does little more than reposition with his left arm as leverage, hissing quietly in pain. His right arm notably stays protectively to his chest, rigid and unused. Zib runs a hand through his hair guiltily. "Sorry, man. I'm not good at this shit. I just wanna play the fuckin' sax an' call it a nigh', you know?"

From what Mordecai has experienced, it's generally better not to become proficient at getting injured. To onlookers, he seems to have an affinity for it though; this is his third injury requiring a doctor or surgeon in two years, with a multitude of minor injuries between. He has scars in the double digits, if you know where to look for them, most over precariously vital organs or important blood vessels and a fraction of an inch too shallow to cause disaster.

By all accounts, he should be dead a half dozen times over, as if he wants to die in a mundane skirmish over liquor.

Survival instincts stronger than willing submission, Mordecai also has a flair for pulling through with honest reflexes, snap decisions or simply by the skin of his teeth on sheer grace of fortune. He's cost Lackadaisy more in medical bills in his twenty-four months tenure than any coworker before him - he's personally doctored the fees out of company ledgers - a concerning amount, if Atlas weren't fond of him, but repeat offenses eventually might cost the hitman such allowances.

His work history has always been tumultuous; his boss back in New York City paid for the Heller family's new house, the funds skimmed off the criminal syndicate's profits not long before Mordecai fled the state. The young tom had taken advantage of their disjointed hierarchy to embezzle funds, a tactic that worked flawlessly for over a year. He managed to accrue almost seven thousand dollars in eighteen months and had been on the cusp of spending it when his scheme fell through.

It had been hard to respect a mob who's key players were more gullible than a child. Hiding the money laundering had been easy. Maintaining a façade of obedient mediocrity far less so. He'd had to pretend to be just intelligent enough to be useful, without drawing suspicion or focus from those he needed to avoid. It was a balancing act, one he played well until some nosy middle manager took a closer look at his cooked books on a whim, fracturing his success.

Mordecai wishes his could find joy in his work, but he does not. Whether it's clean assassination to clearing out a warehouse, interrogations, torture or mutilation, he's only disgusted by what he's willing to do for this charming man, a soul he's known only a few years. He's been sucked into the very same world he fled from and been crafted into a finely honed weapon, one so deadly, even coworkers fear him.

His heart may be of ice, his soul corrupted, but a sharp mind remains in turmoil, recalling all he's done for Atlas May.

Raised by a traditional Jewish mother and following all the teachings of his faith until adolescence, Mordecai Heller is not the man he was destined to be. If Hashem destined his life to be this way, then his faith had been misplaced, and he cannot believe the deity his mother so adamantly believed in could be so cruel. By extension, his corruption - and his failure to rectify it - are his own, and with that clarity comes a deep self loathing that can't be put into words.

"Drink this." He's snapped from introspection by the gravelly voice, just in time to have a test cup and saucer placed in his lap, the latter scalding on his legs. A cold hand comes to touch the delicate porcelain, but he doesn't raise the drink to his lips, simply stares down into the cup with distant eyes, another shudder rippling through his thin frame with the new heat on his skin. "I put a drop of whiskey in it. Mitzi says it'll help with th'shock. You in shock, Mordy? Can ya hear me? Cause you ain't even insulted me yet, an' that's worryin'."

A door opens and closes, but Mordecai doesn't look up from his tea. It's got milk, an unsettling pale brown concoction that smells far too sweet to comfortably ingest, but he doesn't complain. He doesn't even notice Zib straighten beside him, the voices in the room becoming hazy and indistinguishable as a ringing starts in his ears. He's vaguely aware of the broken glass in his arm, of the swelling turning the right side of his muzzle into a balloon, but it's all inconsequential as the world fades from focus and seems to tilt like it had when he crashed.

"Go wait for Doctor Quack outside," a deep, level voice cuts through the haze cleanly, filling Mordecai with nausea and relief all at once. He doesn't need to look up to know Atlas has entered the room. Zib's absence is finally noted, as is a thickness in the air. Olive eyes glance up and immediately meet stern, narrowed yellows. Mordecai shudders, but not from the cold, and averts his gaze. "And send Mitzi to bed. She doesn't need to see any more tonight."

The musician mumbles his affirmations and heads out to the cafe beyond, closing the adjoining door softly behind him. For the briefest of moments, it's silent beside the crackle of the fire. The tom cradles the teacup in his good hand as his tail wraps around his left ankle, large ears folding back and shrinking into the armchair in submission. For some reason, he feels an inordinate amount of shame, but can't pinpoint the cause by the time Atlas sighs and rubs his temples.

Slow steps pad closer but Mordecai doesn't look up, eyes fixed on the fire, body intermittently shivering as the last of the cold leaches from his bones. His skin is still icy, but his core has warmed considerably since waking up, slowly reinvigorating his brain. He wishes it was still dormant as Atlas pads behind the chair and stops, staring at dancing flames over the tuxedo's head.

"You're done," the man finally says in a quiet tone, a crackle of burning wood almost swallowing the statement. Sick to his stomach, Mordecai finally looks up to find the striped businessman already blandly staring down at him. Yellow eyes hold no apology, his expression set into a grim frown. The triggerman flattens his ears and sinks further into his seat as Atlas continues."Once Quack's fixed you up, you're to clear out your room."

"Mr. May-"

"Viktor has agreed to house you until you're recovered," the tiger-esque man continues, looking back to the fire as he slips a hand into his robe pocket and withdraws a cigar, the end already clipped for swift ignition. A box of matches soon follows, one extracted and struck, then cast into the fire after the cigar smokes in fine lips. "I'll write a glowing reference for your bookkeeping skills tomorrow morning."

"Atlas-"

"You're fired." The response is sharp and loud enough to make the tom flinch. Atlas doesn't seem to care, continuing on in the same vein. "Our contract ended when you totaled one of my cars on a whim, Mr. Heller. You attempted to drive in a snowstorm, without a license or prior approval. You're fortunate to be alive, more so I'm covering damages and medical fees, and you will clear out your room and be gone before the Little Daisy opens tomorrow. Am I clear?"

His chest feels tight, ribs aching as he inhales. "Perfectly so, Mr. May."

He doesn't respond but stares back intensely, a smoldering cigar pinned between pale lips until eventually, he drags on it, takes hold of the bulbous wrapping and draws it away to exhale the smoke over the tuxedo's head. Only then, as the choking smoke descends on Mordecai, does he finally turn and exit the room without another word, leaving his former prodigal triggerman to wallow in a mess of his own design.

[1ore]

rotating blighted trahearne in my brain so that i can do basically anything but what I'm supposed to be doing.

one of the funny consequences of doing story missions on Yuri Six-Cants is that Trahearne is relegated to b-plot nonsense. The last one was Knight of the Thorn. now it's been the Season 4 Skyscale stuff.

as we know, everything that ever happens to blighted Trahearne in-game is canon, so my justification for this is that Mordy has been reading about Tyrian psychology to better understand the minds of heterotrophs. He is... hmmmmmm... a better mastermind at the macro scale than he is at the interpersonal scale. For him, this is like trying to have a dialogue with your body's individual cells. Anyway, he's learned about the concept of "self-parenting" and is taking it a little too literally.

Previously, it seemed like Trahearne and Mordremoth were becoming mentally "integrated" to the point of indistinguishable from one another... Or maybe Mordy was retreating from the conscious sphere and into the subconscious instead. Despite being better brain-roommates than they were six years ago, Trahearne is still not terribly enthusiastic about the idea of harboring a Dragon, and he keeps Mordy (or what he thinks of as Mordy) on a tight leash. Maybe it's easier for the Dragon to get what he wants if Trahearne thinks it's all his idea, or maybe the divisions between them are completely artificial, and what "Trahearne" conceives of as "Mordy" is just whatever thought/feeling he happens to dislike in the moment.

This whole Kralky business has driven a rift between them, though. The sparknotes version is this:

During Commander Six-Cants' ill-fated mission to kill and eat god defeat Balthazar, Mordy and Trahearne's interests align enough that the divisions between them dissolve. Yuri's death kind of seals the deal, because any uncertainty that Trahearne has about whether Mordremoth actually gives a shit vanishes when they involuntarily turn into a big dragon and have a dragon tantrum about his death.   (Incidentally, this is when Trahearne is the least opposed to the idea of trying to use his weird dragon powers for good, and also the most well put-together he's been in years. Involuntary dragon tantrum is humbling, but weirdly affirming. Since this happens in Elona, where nobody really knows who he is, he's not sinking under the weight of anyone's failed expectations but his own. Elona also has precedent for two (2) whole dragons that are sympathetic to Tyrian life, so this is like "yeah this might as well be happening" for the people around him. It Could Be Worse!)  

Things start to fall apart after Balthazar's death, when Kralky enters the picture. There is cognitive dissonance between what Mordremoth thinks of Kralkatorrik vs. Trahearne thinks of Kralkatorrik, which they can't reconcile.   Mordremoth feels empathy (or the closest thing a Dragon can feel to empathy) for his brother, who--like him--was betrayed by his own creations. And like him, there is a possibility that Kralky is about to experience the same incomprehensible sense of smallness that Mordy experienced at the hands of the Pact. Or death. Probably death!   Meanwhile, Trahearne has learned nothing from the past six years and wants to throttle that stupid purple lizard, because Kralkatorrik branded Commander Atropos. this is a whole thing we can't get into right now, but she's going to be ffffffffffine. probably  

This leaves them as two distinct minds again. Mordremoth pulls away to try to reach out to his brother, while Trahearne returns to his old marching orders. They are briefly reunited after Aurene's death (dragon tantrum.........2!) but this falls apart after the Pact's final campaign against Kralky.  

Which brings us back to Season 4 Skyscale b-plot: Mordy and Trahearne are baffled that things seemed to be going relatively well, and then fell apart in such confusing ways. Mordy doesn't get why it's such a big deal that there is a division between them again (didn't you hate the idea of assimilation?) and Trahearne is still reeling from the whirlwind of emotions (his own and Mordy's) that colored every interaction with Kralky.

Mordremoth's concern for his brother dredges up Trahearne's unresolved guilt about being estranged from the Pale Tree, the other Firstborn, and the Sylvari at large. Recognizing this, Mordy is like. Ohhhhhhh. I see. My errant root saddled you with impossible expectations. I know how to fix this. <- about to make it worse

The Dragon's bumbling efforts to unpack Trahearne's baggage are rebuffed until, I think, Mordy accrues enough energy to manifest on his own, physically apart from Trahearne. He might be a useless little dough creature at first, but in Trahearne's mind, this is a complete disaster and he has to contain it. Things really start to fall apart when Mordy takes more elaborate shapes in response, under the mistaken assumption that Trahearne's engagement in this means it's "working."

Trahearne ends up going down that old "I am alone and I am a failure and I can't even be the prison of an Elder Dragon correctly" spiral. The only thing more mortifying than having a psychic breakdown in front of the Dragon (who is also you) is having a psychic breakdown in front of the Dragon (who is also comforting you.)

something something this nugget of Pale Tree dialogue:

Now do you see? The Pale Tree's voice was faint and distant, but it snapped Ceara back to viewing the tree from a distance. If you are not one with what you were born to be, you are lost. Worse, you are dangerous.

if you can't find unconditional love at the Grove, homemade is fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯