#mootilda the cow

[shyduckmiracle]

When the creator kills off your favorite character:

Rip mootilda the cow you will be missed 💔💔 (I had to make a clip of this xD)

(Creds: @magebunkshelf their stream!)

[pastafossa]

Confirmation of life. Moderate improvement in symptoms. Period cramps came in with a steel chair, but that's temporary.

In the meantime, the only game I've had the energy or brainspace to play is Stardew Valley, and my sick af ass has been blearily showing the family my farm like

[bovineblogger]

What is your favorite cow of all time? (A breed of cow, or a specific individual cow, your choice)

@mpreg-jesuschrist's beautiful mootilda..

mootilda my love mootilda

[fuck-customers]

I had this lady come up to me, and before I could do the “hi, welcome to <store>” she slams this jug of milk on my counter. Turns out the people who bottle the milk have changed to a more eco-friendly plastic for the bottles, and this lady claims it makes the milk taste bad. She’s complaining to me, I tell her “I’m sorry about this. I’ll pass it along to my managers and they can pass it to the manufacturer. I would also suggest you send your feedback directly to them, since we do not bottle the milk ourselves.” And she keeps going. And going. And going! She makes it sound like it’s my fault her milk tastes bad.

Eventually she leaves with her milk after saying she’s going to switch to a competitor of ours. Like…they’re more expensive and sell the same milk from the same brand in the same bottle we do, but you do you.

The lady who was next in line said I handled it very well, and we both laughed a little at the absurdity. What, did she think we have a cow in the back and I’m there milking and bottling it myself?

You mean not every store has their own cow? I guess Mootilda is more special than I thought.

-Rodney

[simsandgiggles]

When the cow-shed is a-rockin ....

Bunny: Mootilda! I'm pregnant again! Mootilda: bitch I know. I heard the whole thing. it happened in my house. the fuck.

[strixessabre]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting me. My precious cow skull, Mootilda, found a home, so many of you took home buttons and goodies, so many of you commissioned me.

Every penny goes to moving and back to my store. I appreciate you all so much. This recent sale has made me cry with joy. Thank you so much, truly.

[not-logan-paul]

I'm playing Hortensia in Matilda the Musical , so here's Matilda Characters as things I've heard during the first week of shows

Nigel: What's the opposite of emitted? Deported?

-

Matilda: *Walks into the room* Now what the spruce is going on?

-

Ms. Trunchbull: If worse comes to worse, shove the children

-

Ms. Honey: What- what is that?

Lavender: *Holding up a stuffed cow* Mootilda

-

Hortensia: *To Amanda* Don't go outside, there's a fist fight.

Hortensia:

Hortensia: Scrap that. You should definitely go outside

-

Ms. Honey: You cannot compare a child with a whistle to Hitler

-

Tommy: We just danced with the pizza man and our principal

[punnpeak]

Why did the farmer name his cow "Mootilda"?

Because she was always a-moo-sing!

[southjerseyweb]

Remember MOOtilda, The Rogue Brown Cow From Upper Township, NJ?

It was only a few years ago that the brown cow on the loose in the Marmora section of Upper Township captured the hearts of so many South Jersey …

[rjhamster]

Escaped Cow "Mootilda" Captured and Slaughtered 💔

Support Our Mission Escaped Cow “Mootilda” Captured and Slaughtered An escaped cow lovingly nicknamed Mootilda has been captured and killed after spending months on the run. ​​​​​Read her story. Farmers Convert Chicken Farm into Animal Rescue These farmers used to raise close to a million chickens a year for Pilgrim’s Pride. Now they are focusing on opportunities that save lives rather than…

[blindingechoes]

You did that in Mootilda’s barn!? In front of her salad!? The nerve!

[elisabettasims]

I’m told I have to give you a tour of the Hell House. Fine, but on my terms. I can’t show you everything, we have to keep some things a mystery after all, but follow me. 

Looks cozy, doesn’t it? One thing you will notice is there are no sofas or love seats anywhere in the house. The reasons for that will be revealed after I show you the bedroom. Yes, you heard that correctly. The bedroom.

But first, the kitchen. We’ve removed the stove and oven and left only the fridge and the cheap microwave you see behind me there. No cooking for our daring contestants. They’re going to have to get by on snacks and microwave meals. Now, follow me upstairs.

Here we have another sitting area. There are several such areas around the house. We are not total sadists. Well. Maybe we are.

Now we have the bedroom. It may require some rearranging once our contestants arrive but here is the fun part. There is one bed too few for the number of contestants. A bed will be taken away each time a contestant is ... eliminated. That is the reason for no sofas or loveseats. Can’t have them napping in the seating areas, can we?

Back downstairs we have a seance room. The rest of the basement is attached but I can not show it to you just now. You’ll have to wait and see it. Follow me back outside, if you will.

This is Mootilda. Who’s a good cow plant? You are! Yes, you are! Don’t worry, we’ll feed her. And now for our piece de resistance.

It’s full of piranhas. Isn’t it great? I’m certain our contestants will just love it. There are more surprises in store for them, of course. The house is haunted among ... other things. Thank you for following me on this brief tour. We look forward to seeing you again soon. 

[bovineblogger]

The first two are baby Mootilda and the last two are current her

She's a mini cow, she keeps my mom's friends mini horses company

I LOVE YOU MOOTILDA

i just want everyone here to know that. mootilda is the best i think about her all the time

[finding-an-angle]

Newsies As News Stories -- Part 2

Part 1

Loosely inspired by this:

Disclaimer: I don't know if cows are actually like this, but for the sake of this AU, let's pretend they are... Enjoy 💕

The Manhatten Newsies are just hanging out at Medda's on a Friday night, watching Disney movies

Obviously, they're singing along and boy, oh boy, do they sound amazing

But there are some of them (Jojo) that sing terribly off-key

No one tells Jojo to stop (especially since they feel bad for leaving him at Home Depot)

Jojo is currently singing 'Almost There' from Princess and the Frog bc the movie needs more love

"And I'm almost there, I'm almost there, People down here think I'm-" Race's phone started to ring, making Jojo stop singing. "Dang it Race! Next time make it ring during Albert's turn!"

Race answers the phone

It's Spot, inviting them all to a party across town

They excitedly get ready for the party

Jack and Davey do a head count before leaving

"Race why are you wearing a cow onesie?"

"Because I can. Plus, I think it's very amoosing!"

They defy all laws of physics and cram into one car

Jack is driving, Davey is in the passenger seat & everyone else squeezes in the back

"Finch get off my lap! Don't make this gayer than it already is!" Albert exclaims, trying to push away Finch.

"Well, are you wearing socks?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"Then it's not gay!"

The Newsies check to make sure they're all wearing socks before leaving Medda's

"My socks don't match," Elmer gulped.

"That's fine, Jack's don't either!" Davey responded.

"Not true!" Jack growls. He glares at Davey before turning to the rest of the Newsies. "Before we go, do we have Jojo?"

"I'm here!"

"Cool, I don't want a repeat of Home Depot. Katherine gave me a lecture about how 'immature and irresponsible' I am, which is totally not true. Anywho, let's go! We have a party to go to!"

The drive goes pretty well

Until a large cow runs out in front of the car

Jack slams the breaks, causing Race to fly forward bc be wasn't wearing a seatbelt

Race lands in between Jack and Davey

The cow sees Race's cow onesie, and assumes he's a cow

He backs away from the car, and then run towards it, ramming into the front bumper

"Race take off the onesie! It thinks you're a cow!!" Ike yells.

"Sheesh, at least take me to dinner first."

More cows start to come onto the road, some attacking other cars

One cow tries to poke it's head through Crutchie's slightly open window

It steals Crutchie's cap and runs away

"Cutchie, your cap!" Davey exclaims.

"It's alright he can have it. I have another at home!" Crutcie responds.

Jack glares at Race, "Take off the onesie, or I'm sacrificing you to the cows."

"Fine," Race huffs as he takes off the top half of the onesie, revealing a red, sleeveless shirt underneath. The cow gets angrier seeing the red, so it puts more force into ramming the car.

"Race!" multiple people yell.

"What?"

"Really, a red shirt? Take that off too!" Jack commands.

"Why don't you do something about the cow issue aside from having me strip, okay?"

"Wait a minute, the car has a horn. It could scare off the cow," Specs suggests from the back of the car.

"Specs, you're my new favorite!" Jack exclaims as he aggressively honks the horn. The cow gets a bit jittery, so it stops ramming into the car. It follows another cow off of the road.

The Newsies cheer as Jack speeds away from the cows

But the car runs out of gas

Some of them start to panic as the rest of the group gives suggestions

"Maybe Katherine can come pick us up!"

"Nope. I don't want another lecture."

"How about Spot? We could call him and have him pick us up."

"Eww no he's worse than Katherine's lectures!"

Race was abt to throw hands at this comment, but he noticed smth moving near the road

It was a large cow

Summoning all of his courage, Race zipped up his onesie and walked up to the cow

"Race, what are you doing?"

"Communicating with my kind."

"That's it. He's gonna die," Albert mutters.

The Newsies go back to what they were doing, ignoring Race

A few minutes later, Race (riding on the cow) approaches the Newsies

"My new cow friend, Bic Mac, says he can take us to Spot's party."

"I don't think we can all got on Big Mac," Mike observes.

"Of course we can't! I'm too pretty to share a cow with you plebs. That's why we brought reinforcements." More cows showed up behind Big Mac. "Fellas, I'd like you to meet Angus Beef, Beef Stew, Beyonce, Meatloaf, Mootilda, and Mooana. Pick your steed, and let's get mooving!" Race finishes with a smile.

"Y'know Racer, when I said I wanted to be a cowboy, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind," Jack jokes.

Davey quickly grabs Jack's hand. "We wanna ride Beyonce!" He exclaims.

The rest of the Newsies climb on their cow of choice

They all ride to Spot's in style

Spot was very confused bc he would've picked them all up if Race called

Spot was just happy to have Race their

And he did think the onesie was very amoosing

Bonus:

The Newsies (without Race's knowledge) secretly voted to leave Meatloaf behind at Spot's

They led Meatloaf upstairs and into a room

Cows can't walk down stairs (this is a fact) so Meatloaf would not be able to leave

Hotshot found him the next day and thought he was hallucinating

Spot was angry at first, but let Meatloaf stay

He is now property of the Brooklyn Newsies

Meatloaf now has beef with the Manhatten Newsies (minus Race)

[simsandgiggles]

It may seem like a normal farm, but this is the Normal Family so they do have a golden chicken with a fez and a sassy milk cow

Mootilda: girl, I can't believe you are pregnant by your teenage crush Bunny: I literally married him Mootilda? I'm pregnant by my husband? Mootilda: how embarrassing for you, honestly

[strixessabre]

Cute lil cow skull looking for a good home!

Take Mootilda home dang it!