#monthly fic recap

[sparkagrace]

It's spooky season! I read so much this month (I didn't even realise?) and as much as I'd like to list every single fic, I bring you a very small shortlist because otherwise this post would be super long.

september

510,986 words read over 53 fics (average of 9,641 words per fic, not including wips) 📈 75% from August

current total for the year: 2,842,383 words

a handful of fic recs

steve x bucky

Tinder is the Night by @rohkeutta stucky | E | 6.8k

brooklyn boys by @flyandfall-updates stucky | G | 1.8k

Self Service by dewystars stucky | E | 1.3k

Baby, Lay Your Burden Down by @voylitscope stucky | E | 2.8k

buck x eddie

Pick your poison, babe by @dreamsinthewitchouse buddie | E | 3.8k

ripples all the way down by @fcntasmas buddie | E | 57k

just know you'll taste me too by @littlefreakbuckley buddie | E | 12.4k

The Christopher Diaz Reddit Takeover by dylaesthetics buddie | M | 7.5k

it's leading me on, every time we touch by lightyears buddie | E | 5.6k

whatever you like by @clytemnestraaa buddies | M | 6k

all my little words by @maddiebuckettebuckley buddie | T | 11.4k

all you're giving me is friction by @henwilsons buddie | T | 8k

you ruined my life by not being mine by @coldbam buddie | E | 8.7k

glass on the pavement under my shoe by @doitbuckley buddie | T | 9.4k

Love Me Most by @unlifeira buddie | T | 11.3k

the evan buckley matchmaking agency by @mmtions buddie | M | 28.6k

a couple of author recs

cloudydaisies

ice cream before dinner buddie | T | 58.5k

if you leave the light on buddie | G | 27.8k

JJK @trenchcoatsandtimetravel

No One Loves Me Like You buddie | T | 7.6k

Love & Other Surprises buddie | T | 4.6k

ameliahart

i'm gonna knock you out buddie | M | 4k

every dead-end street led you straight to me buddie | T | 5k

you want some trouble (ooh, come and get some) buddie | M | 1.8k

[thefootnotes]

Do you read any one direction fic/have any recs?

*chanting* FIC RECS FIC RECS FIC RECS

as we know there are so many incredible 1d authors out there. first off, just any works by @enchantedlandcoffee (same url on ao3) are my favourites, as are the works of @louisthiccsexyglitteryass (again same ao3 url) who has also done some betaing for me.

i mean....i obviously write 1d fics if that floats your boat too......

but i've got some individual recs from authors who i havent read a lot of their work; some of these are long, some are quite short, all of them are good, and they're all on ao3!

COMPLETE WORKS:

No Good Deed (Goes Unpunished) - JasTheLarrie (168k, larry, enemies to friends to lovers, kidfic au.... just beautiful writing)

Heart Beat - @allwaswell16/same ao3 url (35k, larry, advent fic, kidfic au, harry's had a crush since they were in high school. very very good plot, a little angsty around the edges. great christmastime fic.)

Now I've Got You In My Space - unscattered_horizons (160k, ziam, my all time favourite fic fs. genderqueer characters, slow burn, college au.... enemies to lovers but beautifully done. angsty but not just about the relationship, and so well written. truly couldnt pick a flaw in this fic, i love it so much.)

Pieces Of You - JamieJam93 (280k, larry/niam, a pretty old fic. very much centred around eating disorders so take care. everybodys traumatised! we love it.)

i'll knock on your door, it will save me from calling - @hl-obsessed/same ao3 url (5.8k, platonic zouis, larry, very angsty. written for round one of zaynsalbumsficfest, based on good years. very poignant. lovelovelove.)

All In - series by JasTheLarrie (120k, larry, flower shop au where louis' ex is absolutely awful. lots of platonic zouis. very cute fics, angsty in parts)

Bloom - Goldenhazandlou (48k, larry, 1950s au where harry and louis were in a secret relationship, and louis' granddaughter finds old diaries and photos of them. beautiful and poignant and tragically sad. makes me cry every time i reread it.)

Fix My Heart - SchwarzwalderKirschtorte (6.4k, mostly gen but also larry. sickfic, zayn comes back to the band, lots of angst. touches on a lot of mental health stuff, so take care. probably my favourite ever one shot tbh.)

Stars over Amsterdam - @hellolovers13/same ao3 url (4.7k, larry, enemies to lovers. the BEST eras tour au i have read in this fandom. hands down. you don't need to be a swiftie to appreciate the storyline here (although i am!))

And I'm Okay (With What I'm Not) - red_panda28 (6.6k, larry. for the 1d aroace fest, a very beautiful work based around asexuality and the sexualisation of the industry. really kind of made me rethink the way i view aspec people, for the better. incredible read)

WIPs I LOVE:

Shout Out To The Old Me - Strawberries_And_Cigarettes28 (15k so far, larry, internalised homophobia, café au, involves gemma a lot as a friend of louis. angsty but also quite funny. awesome fic)

Meet Me In Montauk - series by make_this_feel_like_home (94k so far, larry, amnesia au. tragically sad, absolutely fucking broke me; happy ending though so.)

this is absolutely *not* all of the 1d fics i love - this is just a selection of my favourites, ones that i've found myself coming back to time and time again. i hope you enjoy, anon!!

[fellow-travelers-fic-recs]

Fellow Travelers Fic Recs | Monthlyish Recap (Part Two)

Some of the favorite fics read by FTFR and/or newly posted in May and June! This is a big one, friends... So, I'll be breaking it up into two parts. (Part One: Here)

😇 🍕 This time around, we have not one, but two very special afterlife AU’s, a pizza delivery driver AU and a few other fantastic recent updates in some ongoing WIPs you might already be keeping track of. You can the most recent chapters posted here: Featured WIPs Rec List

💦 May wasn't so much of a collection as it was a trio of prompts, with “missing years”, “May I…” and “International Wankers Day” being on May 28. You will find them mixed throughout this month's rec list.

🧁 Of course, June 6 was our beloved Catholic boy from Staten Island’s birthday, and there were a couple of fics to celebrate! 🎄 Mary and Tim celebrate Christmas in the 1950s, while 1980s Hawk makes good on a special wish Tim made long ago. ✍️Hawk breaks his promise not to write… While Tim breaks his vow not to give into unholy temptation. 🙏 ☀️ Kenny and Leonard forge a summertime bond before the war ... While Jackson reconnects with dad’s special friend from the cabin, out in San Francisco. 🚗

These are just a few of the many great new fics posted in the past two months. It's been hard to keep up with them all! Check out the links below.

📚 More fic recs can be found at the fic register, here.

Not quite what you're looking for? Tell us what you had in mind, here! → 💌

✨ Show our amazing authors some love with your comments and kudos on the fics you enjoyed after reading! Likes are lovely, but please reblog this post to share this content with your mutuals! ✨

Happy Reading!

🧁 A Wish Your Heart Makes [G, 1K] @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) “Happy birthday,” she wished, the final notes of the traditional song sounding in his ears. She set the cake on the cleared table, unapologetic about how much she had to have spent on making it. "Make a wish."

Tim stared at the trio of flickering candles marking his twenty-fifth birthday. Maggie's patient gaze rested on him, as knowing as they had always been. She knew what Tim's heart had automatically wished for, what he knew was impossible. But this was his birthday, and birthday wishes were magical.

A snippet of Tim's birthday.

🧁 Happy Birthday, Mr. Laughlin [E, 1K] by @beyondxmeasure | Cyantific Hawk tries to make it up to Tim for missing his birthday. Tim's only wish is a gift they can both enjoy.

A missing scene, of sorts, of the Rehoboth Beach weekend getaway.

🧁 Bring Love's Dreams [G, 3K] @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) The morning and evening of Tim's birthday in San Francisco, 1957

Canon divergent fluff.

☀️ Only The Lucky Ones Come Home [M, 1K] by @jesterlesbian | captainquint It didn’t make sense. Kenny wasn’t in Italy, he wasn’t in Europe. He was sent somewhere in the Pacific, Hawk wasn’t quite sure. That was the last he had heard. So how could Kenneth Willard be bleeding out at his feet in Velletri?

“You did this.”

The blood in Hawk’s veins turned to ice at Kenny’s words.

Or, Hawk has a nightmare about his time in the war.

⛱️ My Composure Sort Of Slips [E, 4K] by @bre1995 | bre_thomas, @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar)

It all started at the Nomad Bar when Hawk left Tim on his own.

Based on their weekend getaway trip, with a filler scene of what happened in the hotel room before dinner.

☀️i'll set fire to the whole place [G, 500] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup Lucy sat at Hawk’s desk, looking at the envelope, signed with a painfully familiar handwriting. She swore to herself she will never repeat a mistake of reading letters from that man, but with years passed she began to suspect that in that marriage she was bound to make the same mistakes over and over.

⛱️ Nobody gets to heaven if they don't go through hell [E, 5K] by @doodlingawaits | DoodlingAwaits In the past, I held two truths. My love for you and my love for God. One was real and one was a fantasy. It's 1968 and Tim is hiding out in Hawk's hunting cabin. He struggles to reconcile what he truly feels as he finds himself surrounded by reminders of Hawk's betrayal and his love. All the while, he cannot control his more primal desires... and neither can Hawk.

Part 1 of Man's Second Best Friend

☀️ritual and liturgy [M, 525] by @redmyeyes | redmyeyes It’s stress relief, nothing more.

Part 8 of Fellow Travelers 

Part 2 of Man's Second Best Friend

⛱️i'm only alive when i'm dreaming of you [E, 918] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup Hawk spends the afternoon picturing Tim kneeling, but not exactly in prayer.

Part 3 of Man's Second Best Friend

☀️ in the night when I start to miss you [E, 2K] by @alorchik | alorchik One night, a shared fantasy, and two souls, entwined across time and space.

Part 4 of Man's Second Best Friend

⛱️ Don’t Pull Your Love Out [E, 5K] by @beyondxmeasure | Cyantific Hawk visits Tim in prison, and it stirs up a lot of feelings, and a lot of memories.

Part 5 of Man's Second Best Friend

☀️ Five Tim Laughlin Recipes by Hawkins Fuller [E, 3K] by @alorchik | alorchik After 35 years together with Tim Laughlin, Hawkins Fuller unveils his collection of recipes.

Or, Hawk shares his notes (written mostly for himself because he would never let anyone touch Tim)

⛱️ Might Drive Me Crazy [NR, 1K] by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) Hawk helps Tim get ready for a party. More or less.

☀️that light was too alluring and in your radiance i shook [E, 1K] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup A missing scene between the undressing and the hand job parts.

⛱️ Life Is Just A Memory [T, 1K] by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) Sometimes, Hawk remembered the small things. Flashes of memory, impressions. Sweetness. Gentility. Tanned skin and a bright grin across the tennis court. The shine of the sun in his hair and the way it had lit up his eyes just right. The curl of his smile. The flush on his cheeks as he held their trophy. The way he felt under Hawk's arm the only times Hawk could risk touching him in public.

Hawk lets himself remember Kenny.

☀️ look at me, i'm too far gone [E, 765] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup “What is it?” Tim nods at the dark fabric in Hawk’s hands.

“A blindfold,” Hawk answers, enjoying the way Tim’s face goes from confused to excited as it clicks in his head.

Or, a blindfold smut we all deserve.

⛱️ Together As One Let us come [E, 1K] by@ jiuselvtizidaren💠 What happened in the hotel room, in this temporary sanctuary enclosed within those four walls? Hawk had his own plan, but improvisation is the spice of life.

☀️ It's Rude To Speak With Your Mouth Full [E, 1K] by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) Hawk was playing with fire, he knew, but the minute Tim had walked into his office, eyes lighting up just from the sight of him, Hawk had been powerless to resist. Whatever his boy wanted, he would have. And when Tim stepped between Hawk's legs, dropping to his knees with the grace of a lifetime of devotion - well, there were definite perks to working late.

Yet another office sex fic.

⛱️ The People who Loved Hawkins Fuller [NR. 2K] by SourLeminade💠 The conversation between Tim and Lucy goes longer than what the show aired. Lucy needs to know what happened and Tim knows he only has so much time left to give her that closure.

☀️ i'll set fire to the whole place [G, 500] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup Lucy sat at Hawk’s desk, looking at the envelope, signed with a painfully familiar handwriting. She swore to herself she will never repeat a mistake of reading letters from that man, but with years passed she began to suspect that in that marriage she was bound to make the same mistakes over and over.

⛱️ And in a dream I'm a different me With a perfect you, we fit perfectly And for once in my life I feel complete And I still want to ruin it. [E, 404] By @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes “That's not what I'm afraid of.”

☀️ Never be enough to fill me up [E, 537] By @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes He'd been everything a lover should be but never loved the way he should have.

I come along, but I don't know where you're taking me. [E, 551] By @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes But when the tremors subsided and she lay there smoking her cigarette, she was left feeling empty and hating herself for the weakness she felt—for needing Hawks touch so desperately. She knew she should have left him and found someone else who could truly love her, but the thought of losing him, even with everything, was too much for her to bear.

⛱️ It Can Wait 'Til Morning [M, 1K] by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) Hawk calls Tim late at night.

1950s era almost phone sex.

☀️ god bless all petty thieves [G, 2K] by @thewindyoubargainedfor | thewindyoubargainedfor Tim meets Jackson at the hunting cabin. Years later, he gets a call.

⛱️ stay awhile (baby, you won't regret it) [E, 1K] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup “It’s something I work on,” he says, for some reason sounding apologetic. “I said it’s not a good time.”

“I can help you with that,” Tim offers. “Or, I can do something that will help you focus.”

“You’re not helping me focus on work, for sure,” Hawk murmurs, stepping closer and putting his hands on the desk, bracketing Tim between it and his body.

Or, an inappropriate use of the desk in Hawk's apartment.

☀️ with your hand you kept the real world outside [T, 964] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup “I’m sorry,” he hears himself saying. Tim's eyes open wide, like doesn’t understand what Hawk is sorry for, either. “I’m sorry that I can’t give you what you want. You want to be able to kiss in public, like that couple in the restaurant. You want to stay the weekend and leave whenever you want, not afraid that people will see. Maybe you even want to live together, so you don’t have to leave at all.”

Or, a little fantasy after the "Hit me" scene.

⛱️ No more hiding, Hawkins Fuller. Not today. [T, 1K] By @carnivalrow | nightfall_in_winter Hawk can't bottle up his feelings for Tim any longer...

Check out the May/June Recap Part One Here

💠Authors: If your tumblr (or other socials) isn’t linked, and you'd like it to be, let me know and I'll be happy to add it! Or, if you’re linked already and would prefer not to be, please contact me to remove it.

[ilikereadingthisiswhatilike]

September

Sour Times @1980shorrorfilmCSummary: in which…you confront your not-so-great relationship with abby after she had stolen your best friend from you. Warnings: None Special Tag: Soft Ellabs x Reader

The Invasion. @obsessivevoidkitten Summary: Cat Man Alien Yandere x Gender Neutral Reader Warnings: Painful noncon, reader gets smacked, biting, collaring, owner/pet, pet reader, reader tied up Special Tag: OC, Alien, Yandere Oc x Reader

silver heart; clouded judgement—. @zevrra Summary: after the heist mission, upon hearing the bad news about how their life is going to go; V is comforted by Vik who wishes he could do more. Warnings: None Special Tag: None viktor x Reader

Misbehavior —. @moonlit-imagines  Summary: No matter what you did, none of your deeds went unnoticed. Good or bad. Warnings: None Special Tag: Muilt Part Jason Todd x batkid!reader

Tolerate It —. @space-cowgirllll Summary: You sit alone at the table wondering how you ended up here. Warnings: Angst Special Tag: Muilt Part Abby Anderson x reader

werewolf!ellie x vamp!abby x fem!reader @abbysbug (X)Summary: The most difficult times of the month were full moons and blood lusts. Naturally, they had to fall on the same date this month. Warnings: blood drinking Special Tag: none Ellabs x Reader

Orc x reader. @ozzgin (X) Summary: "What are you doing, step bro?" Warnings: None Special Tag: Monster fucking. Oc x Reader

Stupid Adoration @ripleysream (X) Summary: "You look nice," Y/N whispered, wrapping her arms around Rhea's waist. Warnings: None Special Tag: None Rhea Ripely x Reader

leave it to her. @jinxificada Summary: for once, you were taken care of. Warnings: None Special Tag: None. Jinx x Reader

Oath —. @girlrotterr Summary: In a kingdom on the brink of new leadership, tensions run high as a coronation draws near. Warnings: None Special Tag: Knight AU Ellabs X reader

Pretty Please. @r3starttt (X) Summary: None Warnings: None Special Tag: Shower Sex Caitlyn x Reader

Decent...? @redr0sewrites (X) Summary: Praise n Mommy kink w/ Service top Caitlyn x fem reader? Warnings: None Special Tag: None. Caitlyn x Reader

Caitlyn kiramman x female reader @reaper2187  Summary: None Warnings: None Special Tag: None. Caitlyn x Reader

leave it to her. @jinxs-gf Summary: it’s your first night working at The Last Drop. the stories of jinx being an…interesting customer are true Warnings: None Special Tag: None. Jinx x Reader

Light Underwater. @spoonguy (X) Summary: Shipwrecked on an alien planet, miles underwater, you are rescued by a lonely alien. Warnings: Claustrophobia, emetophobia, thalassophobia Special Tag: Alien Oc x Reader

Domming the alien. @monstersflashlight (X) Summary: Alien has a mate for life/soulmate situation and can be pretty pathetic Warnings: None Special Tag: Alien, Dom Reader. Oc x Reader

Yandere Socialite. @iwriteyanderes2023 (X) Summary: You regretted agreeing to this. Warnings: Violence, drama between friends, profanity usage, yandere themes, name-calling, sexual harassment, power abuse Special Tag: Sapphic Oc x Reader

Twisted Affections @st4rg8te (X) Summary: The lessons that had been instilled in you since birth resurfaced in your mind: ‘The Mother of the Nation should be dignified, elegant, and composed. She should never show any sign of weakness in front of her subjects.’ But you couldn’t help but break in her embrace. Warnings: Cheating Special Tag: Sapphic Oc x Reader

ellie's breeding strap @mystellenia  (X) Summary: ellie tries out the cum filled strap with you for the first time. Warnings: None Special Tag: None Ellie Williams x Reader

Feminine Reader x Mermaid @agirlandhersweetdelusions (X) Summary: Mermaid who is infatuated with your legs and wants to be in between them. The encounter is by chance, but it ends in something deeper than friendship. Warnings: None Special Tag: Sapphic Oc x Reader

HE APPLE'S ROTTEN STRAIGHT TO THE CORE! @andersonfilms (X) Summary: ellie williams, sporting 88’ on the back of her jersey, the world renowned football player from the united states. the overly competitive blood runs through her veins, passed down from her father, just as well as an overpowering ego the size of texas. she has the girl of her dreams, the most important game of her life in sight, but what happens when one drummer threatens to wreck it all? Warnings: Cheating Special Tag: College AU Ellabs X reader

YOU’LL ALWAYS BE MINE @abbyromanoff (X) Summary: None Special Tag: None Wanda Maximoff x reader

Please, I'm really sorry @yolli-es Summary: None Warnings: None Special Tag: None. Jinx x Reader

𝖜𝖊 𝖍𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖑𝖉 @mamisripley (X) Summary: when a blizzard hits and traps you and your wife into your new house, you both find the perfect opportunity to christen the whole house. Warnings: None Special Tag: None Rhea Ripely x Reader

rhea x jey x reader smut @damiansgoodgirll (X) Summary: None Warnings: None Special Tag: None Rhea Ripely x Reader x jey uso

Ghost @themidnightcrimson (X) Summary: in which you move into an old house and find that you might not be its only occupant. Warnings: dubcon, mentions of death Special Tag: Haunted House AU Wanda Maximoff x reader

I Could Be Enough @dumblilb Summary: They weren’t super close as children, but running around in the same crowd kept them in the know of each other. But years later she might be all Vi’s got left Warnings: alcohol, mentions of physical violence Special Tag: None. Vi x Reader

A Dragon’s Treasure @yandere-writer-momo (X) Summary: Yandere Lesbian Dragon x Shy Princess Reader Warnings: None Special Tag: Sapphic

bloodlust—. @illovehaileesteinfeld Summary: None Warnings: None Special Tag: Vampire AU Ellabs X reader

ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏ���ᴜ ᴀ ᴍᴏᴍᴍʏ @mamisripley(X) Summary: Spending time around Becky's kids gives her the biggest baby fever. Warnings: None Special Tag: None Rhea Ripely x Reader

Bring The Pain @daddynattt  (X) Summary: An unexpected surprise awaits for you at home after a long day at work. Warnings: manipulation, breeding, blood, knife play Special Tag: Ghost Face AU Natasha Romanoff x Reader

[roblogging]

August Fic Recap

a slower month than usual with a lot of rereads, and mostly wolfstar <3

Total fics: 29

Total wc: 1,379,151

New Fics

The Road Not Taken - MollyMaryMarie (88,278)

Aging Gracelessly - orphaned (13,280)

Light in August - orestesfasting (21,104)

we'll keep the king - BlueSundayCake (26,000)

Solntse - lumosinlove (61,997)

Your Baby Grows A Tooth - wulfstars (71,140)

Chasing Dreams - thelunaloos (28,031)

Sometimes We Stumble - SunMoonStar60 (32,021)

Laughing all the way - Wheat_marten (17,870)

A Cure For Nightmares - picascribit (36,083)

Boot Scootin' Baby - cancerravenclaw (20,972)

Beneath a Big Blue Sky - eyra (68,298)

snapshots from a campground near mystic peak, alberta - eyra (17,172)

a memory stolen, a memory gained - maladaptivewriting (30,376)

Chasing Glory - YumeNouveau (8,844)

Highland Fling - picascribit (38,369)

The Last Trial of Peter Pettigrew - sleepstxtic (20,779)

Uncharted Territory - Thealmostrhetoricalquestion (12,444)

Drifting - Eniaos (44,000)

Discards - picascribit (76,033)

die young, stay pretty - veridity (72,080)

Rereads

Sweater Weather - lumosinlove (156,108)

A Wolf's Heart - mizdiz (87,051)

Liebestraum - lunchbucket (101,369)

Bird Set Free - MollyMaryMarie (70,984)

what's it gonna be - industrations, alarainai (9,060)

Sorry I'm Late - I Was Searching For You - EuripidesTrousers (84,203)

that's the art of getting by - sarewolf (40,459)

Under the Eucalyptus - xinasvoice (24,747)

[fredficaccount]

MARCH FIC RECAP

I read 32 fics in march and reread 1.

From several fandoms : larry, rwrb, tarlos, drarry, athelnar, cmbyn, sterek, obikin.

As always, I'm infinitely grateful to all the authors for their gifts and to AO3 for being this space for sharing.

Apart from my re-reading, which I'll talk about at the end of this post, I particularly enjoyed 6 of these fics.

***

2 Larry :

Landslide, by @aimmyarrowshighaes, spibsy (lucy_and_ramona)

Explicit, 143k words, completed 2014-02-19

Historical AU, 70s AU, Strangers to lovers

Summary

The year is 1976. In November, Jimmy Carter will take control of the White House. Americans are meeting Laverne & Shirley at their apartment in Milwaukee. Hotel California diverges from the reign of Kool & the Gang. And the FBI is still reeling from the repercussions of Watergate, the tragedy at Wounded Knee, Operation Family Secrets, and the strategic terrors of the anti-cult movement.

That's what Special Agent Harry Styles has been told is the basis of his mission to an abandoned farmhouse in rural New Hampshire.

With his hair grown out long and his shirt untucked, he's going undercover to do reconnaissance on suspected cult leader Louis Tomlinson, who has led a group of people out into the middle of nowhere, leaving no record of the life he'd had before. All Harry knows is what the agency gave him: Tomlinson's name, and instructions to figure out what he's doing with the eleven people he brought with him.

In the year that Harry spends undercover and under Louis Tomlinson's wing, he learns more than he ever expected.

What I liked :

This story is perfect : masterful scenario, well crafted characters, and a very special and absolutely unique atmosphere, all to achieve about how a remote place can help you find in someone the home you were looking for...

@louisbumpenguin did this superb cover :

With blood and soft stitches, by @bravestyles

Not Rated, 57k words, completed 2020-07-30

Established relationships, suicide attempt, hurt/comfort

Summary :

After a failed suicide attempt and a three month long coma, Harry wakes up.

What I liked :

Suicide, depression… It's not an easy subject… And yet the author comes up with a story that is all sensitivity and emotion. They describe perfectly what it's like to go wrong, even when you love your husband, even when, from the outside, everything seems to be going well. The distress of Louis, the husband who almost lost his love, is also palpable and poignant.

Both characters are amazing, and it's literally impossible not to fall in love with Louis, who reminds me TTS Louis, a marvel of solidity and devotion to his other half.

***

2 Drarry :

Life lessons, by @bixgirl1

Explicit, 68k words, completed 2019-06-04

Enemies to friends to lovers

Fic post

Summary :

On the cusp of a promotion, Harry needs a little help with his image. Enter Draco Malfoy — who doesn't really do that, Potter — to whip him into shape… and make him feel things he hasn't for a very long time.

Featuring: odd jobs, surprising chemistry, lots of accidental kissing, the Prophet living up to type, owls exhausted by the carrying of dirty letters, a secret no one can talk about, a merry band of Slytherins (none of whom really approve), and an enchanted mirror (who really, really does).

What I liked

This is another one of those drarry fics where I fall in love with both characters and their stories, each so different yet so compatible.

The Cabin Trip, by @gallifrey1sburning

Explicit, 23k words, completed 2021-02-22

Friends to lovers, Sharing a bed, Pining

Fic post

Summary :

When Harry decides to swap his house in London for a cabin in the Catskill Mountains for a week, he’s excited for the chance to take a vacation with a group of his closest friends. He’s positive that his long-standing crush on Draco won’t be a problem; he’s been handling it just fine for years, after all. Unfortunately, he wasn’t counting on those tiny swim trunks. Or the way Draco licks melted chocolate off his fingers. Or having to rescue him from a rogue shower. And he definitely wasn’t counting on Draco deciding to sleep in Harry’s bed. But it’s going to be fine. Right?

Featuring: gender fuckery fashion icon Blaise Zabini, Greg Goyle as “the dad friend,” Luna Lovegood petting wild animals that she absolutely should not be petting, and Harry and Draco not being nearly as subtle as they think they are.

What I Liked :

This fic is a sort of grand epilogue, set against the backdrop of a beautiful cabin in the Canadian woods, with a lake, obviously a shared bed, pining and a great bunch of friends. A lovely serotonin moment. I could have gone on for pages and pages.

***

1 Tarlos :

No rules in breakable heaven, by @strandnreyes

Explicit, 75k words, completeted 2023-07-27

Private chef AU, friends with benefits

Fic post

Summary

Carlos doesn't know what to expect when he takes a position as a private chef in the Hamptons for the summer. All he knows is that he needs a job, and one that puts a roof over his head, gives him a chance to practice his craft, and will look great on his CV is more than he could ask for. Turns out he has no idea what he’s in for.

What I liked :

I sincerely hope that the author continues to write for a long time to come, because every time, it's a joy to read. Carlos and TK are beautiful, moving and touching, no matter what reality they find themselves in, and this AU private chef is no exception.

***

1 Athelnar (Vikings) :

Uppsalir, by @gwylliondream

Mature, 66k words, completed 2019-02-01

Strangers (Or Enemies ?) to lovers, slow burn

Fic post (kind of)

Summary :

In the raid at Lindisfarne, Ragnar takes a blow to the head and is knocked unconscious. Thinking Ragnar is dead, his kinsmen leave him behind on the beach. When Ragnar awakens, he suffers from amnesia. He cannot remember why he sailed west, or what transpired at the monastery. Athelstan discovers his bruised body on the shore, and they embark on an adventure that challenges their faiths, their lives, and their love.

What I liked :

Years ago, I was really into the Vikings series. And all my interest collapsed when Athelstan died (I don't suppose I'm spoiling anything for anyone?), because G. Blagden was due to join the Versailles series. Here we are in 2024, I'm discovering Uppsalir on AO3 and omg it's a gem! It's a shame that such perfections don't have more readers, for lack of a more popular fandom…

***

My monthly reread :

We cant take the long road home, by @pinkcords

larry fic

Explicit, 45k words, completed 2020-07-09

Road trip AU, strangers to lovers, pining

Fic post

Summary

Late afternoon seeps into the cab, just shy of too warm, and the breeze that crosses window to window tosses their hair in their eyes, around their faces. They ride in pleasant silence, the radio humming softly in the background as they speed down the coast, and when Louis looks over, Harry’s smiling to himself, a private happiness born from whatever’s going on in his head. Louis likes to think it has something to do with him, or at the very least, this adventure they’ve embarked on together, chosen to see through to San Diego.

Or, Harry and Louis fall in love down the coast of California.

What I liked :

I finished March by rereading this fic after watching a TV documentary about the Seattle area with my mum (Easter weekend). This is the third time I've reread it, and the third time I've loved it! It's got some of my favourite ingredients: road trip, pining, a lonely character whose heart gradually opens up, beautiful landscapes, pining, emotion… Really, We can take the long road home is one of my all time favourite fics.

What's more, there's a lighthouse and a sea glass found on a beach…

[queerfictionwriter]

Writing Update: October 2023 

October was touch-and-go, writing-wise—i did, in fact, get things done, but as almost always: not as much as I wanted. (I consistently, I am learning, aim high.) I accomplished some of the goals I set out to achieve at the end of September, but even of the ones I didn’t fully accomplish, I still made progress on. 

Total wordcount: 11, 052

Highlights: 

Posted the first three chapters of the BDSM AU, Paradigm (which is here)

Made significant headway on chapter 5 of the BDSM AU; the final scene is about half-done

Whipped up December’s batch of Patreon content

Worked on the next chapter of the arranged marriage fic, In Parts and Pieces (here)

Made a shocking amount of progress on the Demon Eskel AU I’m writing with @piceuscelus (here)

Made enough progress to be almost done the paid writing piece I’m working on

Goals for November:

Finish that paid writing piece 

Finish and post chapter 5 of the BDSM AU

Start—and hopefully finish—chapter 6 of the BDSM AU

Finish and post the birthday fic I’ve got started

Edit and schedule December’s Patreon content

Start working on January’s batch of Patreon stuff

[nostalgia-tblr]

okay i'm gonna do a thing

I have been doing monthly fic recaps Elsewhere for a good while now, and it's not so much a thing on tumblr but fuckit I shall do it anyway.

So anyway, here's all the fic that I wrote in the month of August. (Be sure to heed the tags on these things, some of them are more fucked up than others but this wasn't really the most wholesome of months for my fic output.)

The main thing was that I finally finished my longest ever fic, hurrah! I started posting it in I think December of last year so it took A WHILE and then the final chapter was written surprisingly quickly, accidentally in time for it to be posted on the anniversary of An Historical Event that I can't specify because it'd spoiler the ending but like. I think we should all clap for that achievement anyway.

An Heir And A Spare (The Extended Version) (MCU, Loki/Sylvie, Explicit, 46,261 words)

The second fic of the month was Elementary fic, the one thing that isn't MCU fic this month so Come On, Eileen WELL DONE, IRENE.

Victory Lap (Elementary, Holmes/Moriarty, Teen And Up, 500 words)

Then I returned the MCU and wrote incest fic. Obviously. I can't really blame the selfcest-is-incest people for this, though they did slightly encourage me to just go ahead and write it if I was going to get accused of writing incest fic anyway. So well done them, I suppose.

but your lips are venomous poison (MCU, Loki/Thor, Mature, 1202 words)

Then, having missed Sifki Week by a month, I belatedly posted this thing that I wrote for Sifki Week:

Bitter/Sweet (MCU, Loki/Sif, Explicit, 3723 words)

Final fic for the month was 'frostmaster' (see, I am getting better with remembering the pairing names!), which I insist is not more problematic than most of the fic that already exists for this pairing.

Entertain Me! (MCU, Loki/Grandmaster, Mature, 1802 words)

So there, now I have done this thing and hopefully I will remember to do this thing in future months when there has been fic production on my part.

[gellavonhamster]

monthly media recap: march 2024

(embarrassingly short this time)

read:

The Daughter of Doctor Moreau by Silvia Moreno-Garcia - I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of the original Island of Doctor Moreau, but I really enjoyed this retelling set in the 19th century Mexico. Loved how the story is woven into historical context, and how, while there is a love story, the plot doesn't revolve around it and the heroine's relationship with her family is a bigger motivation for her. Would've loved other hybrids aside from Lupe and Cachito (who were my favourite characters) to have had more personality; otherwise, a great book

+ currently reading: W.I.T.C.H. comics Volume uhhh 25 (I think), The Prisoner's Throne by Holly Black, and Raffles and Bunny short stories by E. W. Hornung through a Substack book club

watched: nothing to report here, alas

[sapphire-wine]

January 2023 Fic Recap

Hello everyone, each year I try to incorporate something new in my writing process (last year was a tracking excel sheet) to motivate me to write more. This year I’ll be trying to make a recap at the end of the month for the fics I’ve written complete with the title, summary, and some extra little thoughts on it. Since these might end up being long, they’ll be under the cut separated by rating.

Monkey brain: need to write each month so have more on list

Fics written Somewhere the Culture's Clever (G) Vocal Exercises (G) Got drunk on you and now I'm wasted (I'm gonna dream of how you tasted) (E)

General

Somewhere the Culture's Clever

“Kristoph asked me to marry him.” Phoenix reaches up to put a dried plate into the cabinet. He keeps his tone light, like he’s talking about the mail that came in that day. “About two weeks ago.” Miles doesn’t falter from his spot in front of the sink, sleeves pushed up to wash the dishes. He responds with casual curiosity. “Oh? And what did you say to him?” “‘What’s in it for me?’”

This was a fun little proposal fic that I used to get a lot of banter out of my system, Phoenix is a little shit! I had the idea for that dialogue exchange as an opener for a while so I was happy to finally get the rest of the fic written. You can tell where it just kept extending past what I originally thought the end would be because there were just so many more quips to write they wanted to keep talking. This fic actually did way better than I thought it was going to I wouldn’t be surprised if it stayed my most kudos’d for this year.

As per the endnote: if you didn’t know where the fic title was from, it’s from Paris from the 3am version of the Midnights tracks and the line before this is ‘I want to brainwash you into loving me forever’ which is a Very Feenie-Phoenix sentiment to me but I didn’t want to give the wrong impression of this fic by titling it that

Vocal Exercises

“That’s you. That’s what you sound like.” Phoenix dropped his tone and sighed. “‘Honestly Wright, do you truly expect me to believe this absolute drivel?’" Miles glared at him. “And who is that supposed to be?” “You! It sounds just like you!” “No, it doesn’t.” “You just don’t know what you sound like then.” “I can assure you I have the utmost knowledge of my diction.” “Those are just words. You’re just saying words right now hoping I’ll agree with you. But I won’t, because that sounded exactly like you.” What an idiot. ~~ In which Miles tries to navigate the fact that he is having feelings at work, Phoenix's "hidden talent", and almost breaking the man's nose, all before 1 pm.

A fic I had in my WIPs for over a year (I started it in December 2021) that I left alone for months because I could not figure out the beginning of it. This is another fic I used to just have a lot of back and forth between Narumitsu that is them at their most powerful to me. In the very first version of this idea it was a getting together fic, where all of their awkward interactions would have been a pining version instead of seeing how they are going to fit together as a couple. I think this version is much more fun to work with and people seemed to like the take on the early stage of their relationship (though I’ll admit I was not really thinking of that when I was writing it). I like seeing what people pick up on in my writing that I haven’t paid much attention to as I’m doing it. I will eventually finish chapter two.

Explicit

Got drunk on you and now I'm wasted (I'm gonna dream of how you tasted)

"Welcome home." He murmurs. Phoenix looks up at him and smiles. "I should be saying that to you, when did you get back?" "Around three." "You should have told me. I would have come home." "You were in a trial, if I recall correctly." "I could have found someone to cover for me. I missed you." ~~ When Miles gets back from a trip abroad, Phoenix takes the opportunity to ask for something new. He gets exactly what he bargained for, perhaps a little more.

Not much to say about this one, don’t look at me…

This was a gift for the lovely Samioli, because one of the things that fuels my writing is love for my friends (and also spite but that wasn’t involved here). I did in fact feel out of my element writing this but that’s how you improve. Thank you to all the people who said it was hot, I hope you followed Phoenix’s example.

And if you’ve gotten this far, a little WIP preview (from another fic that’s been in my WIPs for almost a year - a sequel even):

So, he didn’t make it home the night before. That much he could gather. He also had clothes, if the dulled rub against the sheets was anything to go by. Well… win some, lose some I guess. He was alone, judging from the lack of body heat in any direction next to him. In these conclusions, he was fairly confident he could take whatever came next. It was when he opened his eyes and saw Miles Edgeworth standing by the open curtains that all of that shakily built confidence left him.

[pedrospatch]

do you have any joel miller fic recs?

so i only just started having time to really read now that my schedule has opened up slightly, i want to make a fic rec list once i get semi caught up but most recent fics that I have read can be found under the tag vee’s recs (they aren’t all just Joel tho) and I also have a few of them on my list which you can find under tbr shelf

but until I can get a proper post going, here are some fics that i have enjoyed in the past and that live rent free in my brain

Soft & Sweet, Neon Moon, and Burlesque by @cavillscurls (all her work is great though so go snoop that masterlist)

Ghost of You by @thetriumphantpanda (also has a ton of great work, once again, go snoop that masterlist)

In My Hometown by @swiftispunk (if i remember correctly a little bird aka han teased on she might be working on something related to this universe so it’s been on my mind)

Honeyed by @softlyspector (I need to catch up on all parts, but the first one had me head over heels)

bloodshed, crimson clover by @morning-star-joy (this was an amazing story, you’ll blow through all 12.1k so fast you’ll be like wait it’s over?!)

one more cup of coffee by @cupofjoel (also a masterlist worth snooping tbh this piece is so beautiful and if your favorite color isn’t brown, it will be after you read this)

Seams by @fuckyeahdindjarin (this series can cheer you up no matter what, i am willing to bet my life on that)

June by @atinylittlepain (i advise that you read this with a box of tissues in hand)

so these are just a few of the fics that i have read before and think about often, again, i want to make an effort into making either a fic rec post or doing some kind of weekly or monthly recap like so many of my mutuals do, so hopefully i can figure that out soon. 🤍

[castielsprostate]

day 59 of asking misha to put his hands around my neck and choke me lightly

day 1 of asking misha to put his hands around my neck and choke me lightly

[fellow-travelers-fic-recs]

Fellow Travelers Fic Recs | April Recap

Some of the favorite fics read by FTFR and/or newly posted in April. This month we’ve got some stormy winter cuddles and lots of domestic bliss, old men in love, an awkward first date, plant POV, fics featuring Maggie and Estelle, Father Skippy, water sports and shower sex, office sex, fuck him on the floor sex, and threesome sex in this fandom’s first RPF fic!

Also, check out the latest fics in these collections:

🌼 Angstpril Prompt Challenge Masterpost

🌼 Promise You WILL Write Masterpost (Updated w/April fics) If you're feeling inspired, please visit the collection to leave a prompt for someone to write or take one for yourself... All are welcome!

Check out their page @promiseyouwillwrite for more info.

📣 April’s Features of the Month:

Fic of the Month: do these teeth still match the wound by @brokendrums | brokendrums

Author of the Month: @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup

April Featured Collection: Old Men in Love Collection

April Featured WIPs

📚 More fic recs can be found at the fic register, here.

Not quite what you're looking for? Tell us what you had in mind, here! → 💌

✨ Show authors some love with your comments and kudos on the fics you enjoyed after reading! Likes are lovely, but please reblog this post to share this content with your mutuals! ✨

🌼 Within The Heart of Me by drabbleswabbles💠 [NR, 9K] Lucy goes to the hospital to talk to Tim. When she arrives, Hawk is already there.

Otherwise known as a prompt fill that wanders a bit off the mark, but is close enough in spirit to give credit where credit is due as far as inspiration goes.

🌼 Something Out Of Reach by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [T, 1K] Before the phone call, Hawk knows.

🌼 Shut Up and Drink Your Milk by @bre1995 | bre_thomas & @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [E, 4K] It all started with Hawk's "shut up and drink your milk" and then whispering how he wanted Tim to "fuck him". With those words alone, Tim doesn't hesitate.

This is an extension on the Episode 8, '57 sex scene.

🌼 Catching A Breath Of Moonlight by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [G, 1K] One lazy evening, Tim tries to find the perfect endearment for Hawk.

🌼 After Hours by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [E, 2K] “That’s it,” Hawk praised, petting through the soft strands of Tim's hair. “Good boy.”

Tim moaned softly around him, swallowing him deeper into the blissful pressure of his throat.

Or, the office sex fic that no one asked for.

🌼 Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned by @bre1995 | bre_thomas [E, 2K] Based around the episode 6 cabin conversation and scene, but with a little twist.

🌼 A Disaster, Beyond Measure by drabbleswabbles💠 [NR, 30K] Hawkins Fuller is a campaign manager with a PR disaster on his hands. The solution involves pretending to date none other than Timothy Laughlin.

Featuring: unrealistic portrayals of the life and job of a campaign manager for the sake of the fake dating trope.

🌼 the life of the world to come by @thewindyoubargainedfor | thewindyoubargainedfor [NR, 5K] Maggie flew to San Francisco to take care of her brother. She didn’t expect it to involve so many visitors.

🌼 Chances Are by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [G, 3K] After a family Thanksgiving, Estelle and Hawk talk. Then she meets Tim.

🌼 Control and desperation by @mailboxbutterflies | mailboxbutterflies [E, 3K] Now Tim was really confused. "H… Hawk I really need to pee—" "I said no. You want to be a good boy for me, don't you, Skippy?"

Tim nodded slowly as he started to put the pieces together. "Then hold it," Hawk repeated coolly.

Tim saw a familiar fire behind Hawk's eyes. The kind that suggested he would be rewarded if he obeyed. "Okay, fine." And then, "Or at least I'll try."

Or, Hawk makes Tim wet himself and then rewards him with shower sex.

🌼 Only Himself To Blame by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [E, 1K] An evening out leads to some fun on the floor.

🌼 this time imperfect by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup [M, 16K] 1986. Marcus arrives at Hawk's house and gives him a box. Marcus doesn't know that paperweight in the box is a time traveling device. Will Hawk change anything, given the chance? We'll see.

🌼 you lookin’ like a present by Saturn💠 [E, 5K, RPF] “You fly all this way just to fuck me?”

“Not just to fuck you,” Simon teased and pressed a kiss to Matt’s forehead. “And actually,” he added, tone suddenly a touch more serious, “If you want, I won’t be the one fucking you tonight.”

Matt’s eyes widened, and he scanned Simon’s face for any indication that Simon was joking. Finding none, he raised his eyebrows and said, “I’m listening.”

Simon visits Toronto for Matt’s birthday.

🌼 🪴His great consuming lovage*🪴 by @carnivalrow | nightfall_in_winter [T, 3K] Tim's potted plant has a story to tell...

🌼 Hold You In My Arms Again by @timothydavidlaughlin | mauralabingi [NR, 977] Old(er) Men Tim and Hawk (who are in love) at the gay club.

🌼 the coming of night by @alorchik | alorchik [E, 3K] March 1957. Hawk, exhausted from grappling with his own thoughts and emotions, seeks solace in alcohol at the Cozy Corner. What other thoughts might cross the mind of a desperate man?

🌼 Might Drive Me Crazy by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [NR, 1K] Hawk helps Tim get ready for a party. More or less.

🌼 So On We Go by TigerLilyBlue💠[G, 589] Maggie leaves for vacation, but it isn't easy.

🌼 forbidden joy by @redmyeyes | redmyeyes [NR, 440] Fellow Travelers drabbles.

🌼 Lost In A World Of Our Own by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [G, 1K] A stormy winter's night is the perfect excuse to stay home and cuddle.

🌼 Guide your light in by @cinnamoncountess | CinnamonCountess [M, 21K] A new patient, Hawkins Fuller, has been admitted to the neurological diagnostic clinic at San Francisco General Hospital. The circumstances of his hospitalization are harrowing and raise many questions. The patient's tragic story and the man himself quickly arouse the curiosity of young nurse Timothy Laughlin.

🌼 Friday Night I'm in Love by @doodlingawaits | DoodlingAwaits [M, 7K] Lucy Smith was a very busy girl.

She was meeting Danny, the cute bartender at her favourite watering hole, the Bell and Bird, on Monday.

It was going to be another date night with Jake on Tuesday after work, but she was thinking of ending this one.

On Wednesday, she had a “tutoring” session with Yannis at the café near the library.

Thursday was free, but she was sure her friend Katherine would confirm soon that her brother, Tim, was up for a date with her.

But Friday, her favourite day of the week and reserved only for the really lucky ones, was going to be the one night she had been waiting for since she was fifteen.

After a misunderstanding, Lucy accidentally double-books her date nights with Tim and Hawk. She tries to find a way around it, but it seems fate has other plans in store for these three.

🌼 Worship at Your Altar by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [E, 2K] Hawk visits Father Tim Laughlin.

💠 Authors: If your tumblr (or other socials) isn't linked, and you'd like it to be, let me know and I'll be happy to add it. Or, if you are linked, and you'd rather not be, please contact me to remove it.

[mcytblrsource]

MONTHLY MCYTBLR RECAP: MAY 2024

CHECK PERIODICALLY FOR UPDATES!

REBLOGS ENCOURAGED!

We are currently shadowbanned and we don’t see when we’re tagged in posts. Send us an ask or message mod tides if your post doesn't appear on the blog within two days.

EVENTS:

Mar 22-May 31: MCYT Underdogs Event hosted by @mcytunderdogevent

May 1-31: Hermit-A-Day May hosted by @hermitadaymay

May 1-7: HideDuo Kiss Week hosted by LazycatthingCat on twitter (cross posted to tumblr via @iridescentpull)

May 12-18: Fish Donna Week hosted by @fish-donna-week

May 16th: Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Duo Month hosted by @sixteenth-day-event

ZINES & MAPS:

May 10: Hermitcraft Coloring Book @hermitcoloringbook

UPCOMING EVENTS FOR JUNE:

May 12-Jul 7: Hermitcraft Guess The Author @hermitcraftguesstheauthorevent [Check blog for more details]

May 26-Jun 1: QSMP AU Week hosted by @ender-princee

Jun 1-30: MCYT Omegaverse Month 18+ hosted by @mcyt-month-of-omegaverse

Jun 1-Aug 31: Niki Nihachu Summer hosted by @niki-nihachu-summer

Jun 16th: Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Pre-Canon Month hosted by @sixteenth-day-event

Jun 26-Jul 2: Scarian Summer Smooch Fest hosed by @scarian-smooch-fest

Jun 30-Jul 6: MCYT Subversion Week hosted by @mcytsubversionweek

Jul 1-7: Gem Pearl Week hosted by @gem-pearl-week

Jul 1-31: MCYT Musical Bingo hosted by @mcytmusicalbingo [Check blog for more details]

Jul 12-18: MCYT Aspec Week hosted by @mcyt-aspec-week

Jul 15-24: RedScape Week hosted by @redscapeweek

Jul 22-28: Hot Scarian Summer hosted by @hot-scarian-summer-2024

Aug 4-Sep 21: QSMP Month(s) hosted by @qsmp-month

—-—

TBA:

@mcyt-nonpovs [Interest check open until June 5]

CLOSED APPLICATIONS:

MCYTBLR AU Fest- WRITERS: @mcytblraufest Jun 3 [Check blog for more details/Reverse Big Bang]

Survivor Smp - PRODUCTION STAFF: @mcytblrsurvivor Jun 4th [18 and up]

MCYT Playwriting Festival- ACTORS: @mcytplaywritingfest closes Jun 15

The Heart of the Ouroboros - Lifesteal SMP Zine: @lifestealzine closes Jun 16

MCYT Prompt Exchange- MODERATORS: @mcytpromptexchange closes Jun 21

OPEN APPLICATIONS:

MCYT Yaoi Exchange- MODERATORS: @mcyt-yaoi-exchange closes Jun 24

MCYT Prompt Exchange: @mcytpromptexchange closes Jun 30

Colourful Crafters Colouring Book - MODERATORS: @colourfulcrafterscolouringbook closes Jul 1st

Coloring with Hermits: @coloringwithhermits closes Jul 12th

Bread Hermitcraft MAP: @dailygtwscar - Back-ups open

—-—

MCYTBLR Fluff Exchange: @mcytblr-fluff-exchange Jul 1-31

MCYT Fic Fight: @mcytficfight Jul 12-15

MCYT Yaoi Exchange: @mcyt-yaoi-exchange Jul 21-Aug 7

TBA:

@iridescentpull - QSMP Zine Interest Check

@colourfulcrafterscolouringbook - Opens in July

ZINES & MAPS:

Jun 1: Boatem Village Zine @boatemvillagezine

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

chapter twelve: sunshine baby

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 6.7k

warnings: NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is 7 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), feeling familial and self-pressure, established relationship, spanish cause joel is latino, oral (m receiving), dirty talkkk king joel miller, soft joel, possessive joel, mentions of depression and symptoms, struggling with self, discussion of parenting, angst, arguing, i'm sorry </3

a/n: everyone go give @northernbluess all the love for always helping me with beta-ing AND cause we are gonna be writing a fic together :)))) more info on her monthly recap posted the other day xx love ya bestie! y'all enjoy this chapter (i have a feeling it will be RIP to my notifs)

Mid-week, your usual nanny family lets you know that they won’t need you for the day and to take the day off. With no other plans, you decide to visit Joel at his work site for the day to bring him lunch. You throw something together and head out from the neighborhood, calling him on speakerphone. It rings a few times before the line clicks and his voice projects from the small speakers on your cell phone.

“Hi, Mari baby. What’s going on? Is something wrong? You never call when you’re working.” Joel’s side of the line is filled with background noise, men shouting, and construction sounds of hammers, saws, and machinery.

“Hey, J. Nothing’s wrong, I actually have the day off. Kristie called this morning after you left to say she was staying home for the day so I’ve got nothing to do,” you hold up your phone as you come to a stoplight, “So I thought I would come to visit you for a little bit. I made you some lunch. Where are you at today?”

Joel’s smile is evident throughout his response, his voice getting louder to be heard over all the noise, “We’re at the Maple Avenue site. Right at the corner of Lake St. Not too far from home, so I guess I’ll see you soon?”

“I will see you in, like, ten minutes. Already on my way.” The two of you make a bit more conversation before Joel has to hang up, saying that he has to go tell someone ‘how to correctly install a support beam’.

“Alright, gotta go, sweetheart. Love you.”

“Love you too, J. See you soon.”

Exactly ten minutes later, you’re pulling up outside of the work site, confronted with the vague shape of a house with the framing up. You grab the cooler bag from your passenger side and climb out of the car, crossing the road and walking up to the younger of the two Miller brothers that you see standing in front of a table of plans and chatting with an employee.

Tommy looks up and grins when he sees you, clapping the other guy on the back to grab his attention, “Look who it is! Y’know, George, you better tell the guys that they better thank this woman right here — she’s the one who’s made Joel less insufferable.”

With a roll of your eyes, you stride up to Tommy and give him a hug in greeting before stretching out your hand to introduce yourself to George. He excuses himself to get back to his task at hand, leaving you with Tommy and waiting for Joel.

“So what d’ya bring me, sis? If you bring a treat, better have enough to share with the class.” He grins mischievously and reaches for the cooler in your hand.

“Eh, none of that, Tommy! If you ask nicely, I’ll give you the food I so graciously brought for you.” You smile and set the bag on the makeshift table of folding saw horses and a plank of composite. Unzipping the bag, you pull out the extra food you made for Tommy and pass it over, laughing when he pulls you in for a squeezing hug.

“God bless you, Posey, I was gonna have to have a gas station lunch today with the amount of shit we have to get done.”

“Quit squeezin’ the shit out of my girl, Tommy.” Joel’s voice fills your ears and you laugh when Tommy pulls away, happily picking up his sandwich and unwrapping it to take a large bite out of it.

“Hey, just thanking her for feeding me, too. Also, this is good as fuck.” He points to the food in his hand while Joel sidles up next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head.

“You’re welcome, Tommy,” you reply, grinning before turning to your side while Joel gently squeezes your shoulder. “Do you have some time for lunch now? Or should I wait around for a bit?”

Joel shakes his head and smiles, leaning down to press a chaste kiss on your lips, “I’ll make time for you whenever, darlin’. Think everyone can survive for a bit without me.”

“Y’all are too much. I’ve never seen my brother like this, Posey. Please continue to keep him happy cause he’s a much better boss these days.” Tommy laughs loudly when Joel shoots him a look of annoyance, the younger Miller turning to head into the framed home to check in on the rest of the work being done. Joel picks up the cooler bag from the table and takes your hand, nodding toward the street.

“C’mon, Mari, we can eat in the truck bed. Probably better than a construction site.”

The two of you sit on the edge of the truck bed, eat, and chat about the day. Joel mentions how much work he has left for the day, clearly stressed about getting enough done before he has to leave to get Sarah. You offer to pick her up from camp and bring her home, planning to make dinner so Joel can stay longer to get some extra tasks checked off his to-do list before the weekend.

After finishing up your meal, the two of you walk back up to the site, Joel taking you on a tour through the bones of the house. He explains the vision for each room and the finishes he’s going to propose to the family building it. You follow along with him, smiling at his enthusiasm as he gestures about bay windows and oak flooring.

When the two of you are standing alone in what will at one point become a bedroom with a view of the tree-lined backyard, Joel pauses and turns to you. Taking your hands in his, he looks down at them as he laces your fingers together before meeting your eyes with a tender smile.

“Y’know, I could build somethin’ like this for us one day. We could find a piece of land we love, maybe a little bit further out of the city to get some more space. Really make it our own…”

A squeeze of his hands reassures him in the moment, matching his sweet smile with your own, “That sounds wonderful, J. But I have to say, I like our house now.”

Your smile grows wider when Joel’s does, his brown eyes catching the midday sunlight and creases at their outer corners deepening along with his dimple. He pulls you into a tighter embrace, kissing you gently before nudging his nose against yours.

“Te amo, mi Mariposa.”

“I love you too, J.”

Music is playing from the CD player when Joel walks through the door later than he usually does. His shoulders are tense, his back is aching, and all he wants to do is sink down onto the couch and relax with you and Sarah. Toeing off his work boots and tossing his keys onto the entryway table, he bites back a smile hearing the slight commotion that is you cooking — some of that noise contributed by Sarah messing around with everything, too. 

The next song clicks over on the tracklist, the beginning notes of ‘Sara’ by Fleetwood Mac, a favorite in the Miller home since his little girl was born. He remembers singing it to her when she was an infant, letting her dance on his toes when she was younger. It’s been a while since he heard it, and walking to the doorway into the kitchen, a wide grin stretches across his face. The deep, dull ache in his muscles lightens at the sight of you dancing with Sarah, singing all of the words to her and her singing along with what she knows.

“Said Sara, you're the poet in my heart…Never change, never stop…” your voice carries over the stereo, Sarah’s popping in on the last two lines. Joel stands to the side, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches the two of you twirl around the island. At one moment, you catch his eyes and beam brightly at him, waving him closer and reaching out a hand for him to join.

He does just that, scooping up Sarah with a grunt to hold her in his arms while you rest a hand on his shoulder and one on Sarah’s back. The three of you move and sing together, the butterfly in Joel’s chest rapidly pounding its wings and bouncing against his rib cage.

This is all that matters, this is what he envisions for his future. Small moments like this, altogether, his girls — and maybe another baby or two.

A simple life.

The next couple of weeks are packed with nights spent between all three of you, weaving your unit tighter together. Board game night with Sorry and Monopoly, and a sore loser Joel who insisted that the official rules be read aloud, even in the instance that his own daughter was the game winner — only just pushing him out of the top spot.

There was another evening spent at the arcade and bowling alley, a rainy day that washed beyond sunset. All of you ran from the truck into the building, shaking off the droplets before weaving your way through the games until the bag of quarters you and Sarah had gathered dwindled completely. A round of bowling was played, Joel being ‘generous’ (his words) to allow the bumpers to be put up for Sarah…and you.

The latest evening, Friday night, was spent alone with Joel while Sarah was at a sleepover. Your parents were out of town with friends for the weekend, and Chris was out with some college buddies who were visiting Austin, leaving the house free for you. Joel came over, crawling into bed with you after another long day at work, and the two of you languidly spent the evening shifting between random conversations, lying together quietly, running ghostly touches over each other until the tension snapped. Intermittently, the air between the two of you would heat up, leading gentle touches to be filled with more pressure and building up until the room was filled with breathy moans and begging.

Joel unravels you once with his hands, another with his mouth; the third time he reaches for you, soft and low pleadings to fill you up, you flip him around onto his back. Trailing kisses down his bare torso, you stop at his waistband and peel away the cotton of his boxers from his sweat-sheened skin. A long sigh deflates his chest when you take him into your mouth, his precum and your saliva mixing in slick as you work your head up and down at a steady pace. He’s propped against your headboard, pillows shifted behind him, and a mesmerized, open-mouthed, and heavy-breathed look on his face as he watches you. His voice hits your ears in your focus on his pleasure, the things he’s compelled to say flooding between your legs all over again.

“Fuck, Mari…”

“Tu puta boca perfecta…(Your perfect fucking mouth…)”

“Such a good girl, a perfect fucking girl. Bet you love this, don’t you, mi zorrita? Love sucking my cock and makin’ me feel so good.”

“Gonna come — oh fuck, sweet girl, gonna let me come down your throat? Let me see you swallow it all, Mari baby?”

Your name leaves his lips in a breathless moan, his come shooting in thick ropes and spilling onto your tongue as he finishes. Lifting your head off of him, you show off the pool of it on your tongue before swallowing it and giggling as he quickly pulls you up for a sloppy kiss.

At the stroke of midnight, the two of you are treading water in your pool, only illuminated by the bulb string lights running across the pool deck. The water is warm from the sunlight simmering over it all day, the perfect bath temperature surrounding your bare bodies as you mess around. Evading Joel’s arms, teasing him as you swim away before he corners you, a satisfied smirk on his face when he stalks up to you and towers over you, tilting your head back with a dripping wet hand. He leans down to kiss you deeply, stealing the air from your lungs with its delicate intensity.

The light bounces off the surface of the water, reflecting in his eyes as you hold his gaze and silence falls over the two of you for a handful of heartbeats.

He speaks in a hushed voice as if any louder would shatter the moment, “M’gonna marry you. Gonna give you whatever kind of life you want — a house, babies, I’d move across the world with you if you wanted. Middle of nowhere. Whatever you want, Mari.”

A smile grows on your face, droplets littering your face as you match his volume, “The only life I want is one with yours.”

It’s morning on a Saturday and you’re rushing around the kitchen, sloshing coffee in your half-full mug and waiting for your toast to pop out. You have only about twenty minutes until you had promised to meet Joel and Sarah at his truck in his driveway, the time counting pressuring you, especially considering you’re still wearing your pajamas and have a bad case of bedhead.

There’s a brief moment to breathe as you take your finished toast out of the toaster and stand in front of the island to butter it, reaching for the jam as your mom walks in from the living room. You glance up at her before continuing your task, passing her a greeting that she returns while refilling her coffee mug.

“Oh, sweetie, I’ve been meaning to ask you about something.” Your mom turns toward you, leaning back against the counter. Your stomach flips at the statement, nerves at the ready to start to hear something along the lines of ‘So you and Joel…’ But that doesn’t come; instead, your mom continues with a different line of questioning. “You know Sherri’s son that was about a year older than you all throughout school?”

“Um, yeah, I think so. Isn’t his name Ollie?”

“Well, he goes by Oliver now, according to his mother, but yeah that’s him.”

Another look is exchanged when you glance up at her, picking up a piece of your quick breakfast and taking a bite. You speak with a mouthful, “Okay, so what about Oliver?”

There’s a look that your mother has given you over the years of being her daughter. It’s a smile, but not any old smile that she gives out willy-nilly. No, this is a smile for specific situations. When she really wants you to hear her out, to do what she’s suggesting — if you can even call it that. Most of the times she’s used it on you, it’s left you no choice but to follow through on what she wanted.

The look on her face is exactly that right now.

Along with that persuasive face, she stands from her place at the counter, striding over to you and resting a hand on your shoulder while she looks you in the eyes.

“Well, sweetie, you have been home for nearly the entire summer and I haven’t seen you with anyone but your college friends a couple of times or Joel and Sarah. And I mean, they’re lovely people, but you probably shouldn’t be spending your entire free time with a nearly ten-year-old girl and her dad…”

Inside, you find yourself flipping straight to anger, ready to defend those two with your life, to defend your actions by telling your mother everything. How Joel isn’t only Sarah’s dad, how he’s the man you’re in love with and have been in love with for the last few years. How Sarah isn’t your ten-year-old next-door neighbor, how she isn’t only a little girl you nannied for a summer. She’s a light in your life, a wonderful addition that you’ve received on top of your love for Joel. Sarah’s become like — like a daughter to you.

All of these words die in your throat, fearing the outcome — disappointment, possibly resentment from Joel, and confusion and likely anger from your parents for keeping such a secret. Instead, you continue to listen to your mother’s request.

“I was talking to Sherri about you, and she said that Oliver moved back from Chicago to Austin this summer, about a month ago, and he’s been looking for some people his age to hang out with — is that what y’all young people call it now? Basically, she said he’s been looking for a girlfriend. I thought, knowing he’s a sweet boy, that maybe you would be interested in meeting up with him?”

“Uh—um, I don’t—” you ramble, feeling your cheeks heat up in the scramble for a legitimate excuse.

“I mean, you don’t have to say anything now. But I got his number from Sherri so I’ve got it if you want to reach out to him. She said she chatted to Ollie—I mean, Oliver, and he said he remembered you and would absolutely be interested in gettin’ reacquainted.”

That same smile paints your mom’s face, tilting you in the direction of simply agreeing to get her to stop. But then your mind flashes you an image of Joel, laying next to him a few nights ago in bed with his boyish grin, giddy like a schoolgirl when you casually said ‘I love you’ to him before going to sleep. That is what you’re thinking of when you address your mother again, a smile of your own on your face from imagining your man.

“I’ll think about it, Mom,” you say, a flat out lie to appease her. You finish up your breakfast and down the rest of your now lukewarm coffee, rushing around her to the basement door leading to your studio. The answer is enough to satiate your mother, her returning with her filled coffee mug to the living room and leaving you to finish your mad dash to get ready for the day.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry! I woke up late and then I was trying to eat breakfast quick and my mom came in and was trying to talk to me and I still had to get ready—” you ramble as you rush across your yard to Joel’s driveway where he is awaiting next to his truck with Sarah already seatbelted in the back row. Joel holds his hands up and laughs, interrupting your train of explanation.

“Woah, woah, slow down, Mariposa. You’re like a minute late, we’ll still make it on time.” He nods to the truck, leading you around to the passenger side and opening the door for you, lending a hand for you to get up. While Joel rounds the front of the car again, you turn around in your seat after belting yourself in, smiling at Sarah.

“Hey, sweet pea. Excited about your softball game?”

“Hi, Posey! I’m excited, but also I know that Daddy’s gonna get annoyed about something the umpire does or the other team, so I’m sure he’ll get yelled at again.” Your head snaps to Joel when he climbs in, guilt all over his face as he cringes. The engine rumbles to life as it turns over, and the three of you start the drive across town to the tournament fields. 

You shake your head and roll your eyes, turning back to Sarah. “Don’t worry about him today, I’ll keep him in line so y’all can have one game without him gettin’ too competitive for you all. You just have fun with your teammates and do your best.”

“Hey, I always want her to jus’ do her best. And I want the other team and the umps to do their best and not make poor calls or crappy plays.”

Sarah laughs at your playful back and forth, the two of you resigning the conversation to listen to the radio. Joel reaches across to take your hand in his, resting them both in your lap while the breeze from the open windows blows your hair around.

Before you know it, Joel is pulling into a parking spot at a park district site, the screams and laughter of children melding with the clink of metal bats and soft thuds of softballs landing in leather gloves. It pulls you back to your childhood, endless summer weekends spent across the state of Texas for your younger brother’s baseball tournaments.

Sarah whips off her seatbelt and scurries out of the car, running across the grass to meet her teammates at the dugout of their assigned field. Joel chuckles to himself and shakes his head, cutting the engine and turning to you.

“Ready to witness some riveting sportsmanship?”

“Well, from what Sarah said, I think I’ll have to keep an eye on you for your sportsmanship. Are you really one of those dads?” You lift an eyebrow, a smirk held back on your face.

“Maybe…”

With a shake of your head, you reach over and pat his thigh, warning him, “Be a good boy, and we’ll get some ice cream after. Deal?”

His thigh tenses under your touch, a quiet puff of a sigh leaving his parted lips. He shakes himself out of the daze, licking his lips and holding your eyes, “Do I get something else if I’m a good boy?”

“Maybe…” You throw his response back at him, peeling your hand from his leg with a satisfied smirk, and climb out of the truck to follow him toward the bleachers. Joel makes a detour to drop Sarah’s bag at the dugout, wishing her luck while you send her a wave from the seating area.

Climbing up a few rows, you shoot a friendly smile to the other parents there, all of them giving you a curious look. Settling on the bench, you rest your hands on either side of you, gripping the bleacher out of anxiety. The sun is beating down on you this afternoon, but it is nothing compared to the scorching stares you can feel from everyone around you, especially the mothers. A cool relief only comes when Joel makes his way over, stopping halfway up to you to chat with a couple that greet him cheerfully. You watch the umpires prepare the field, popping the rubber bases into place. The next moment, you hear your name called, following the sound to see Joel waving you over with a grin.

Carefully climbing down, Joel reaches out a hand when you’re close, helping you down to stand on the aluminum beam in front of him.

Introducing you to the couple seated in front of you, you share a smile with them while Joel’s hand rests on your waist, “This is Adam and Maria, they’re the parents of Sarah’s friend, Katie. Adam and Maria, this is my partner…”

You tune out the rest of the quick introduction when Joel uses your name, feeling a flip of your stomach when he drops the title so nonchalantly. You haven’t heard him say anything but ‘girlfriend’ in a lighthearted manner to Sarah or Tommy, and this feels way different. The word is definite, solid, and much more committed than the flippant terminology.

Getting out of your distraction, you make light small talk with Adam and Maria before Joel excuses the two of you as the game is about to start. He follows you up to the same spot you were holding before, sitting down next to you and tuning into the game immediately. Nothing more is said about how he introduced you, the tiny, one-word difference saying much more to you than any explanation could.

As Sarah’s team takes the field, Joel raises his hands and claps loudly, calling out encouragement, “Let’s go, Comets! Y’all got this!”

Sarah’s positioned at third base, with an ideal view of her from where you’re at on the bleachers. The game’s start is delayed from a change in the other team’s lineup being sorted, the pause in the fanfare causing Joel to turn to you and wrap his arm around your lower back. Wordlessly, he leans in for a chaste kiss, smiling sweetly when he pulls away and pushes his sunglasses back down on his nose.

“Didn’t get to give you a kiss when I first saw you.”

Instead of responding, you lean into his side when the umps break from the circle with the two head coaches and both of your focuses turn to the field with the first batter up.

It’s a fairly standard game until the top of the fifth inning. The field umpire called a batter safe at third after Sarah tagged her first, Joel standing up immediately and gesturing wildly as he yelled toward the field.

“What are you blind, ump? She clearly landed the tag before number twelve’s foot was on the bag. I could see it clear as day from here and I’m way older than you are, kid!”

The umpire crosses his arms, giving Joel a warning look as he strides over. Sarah stands at her base, shifting her weight back and forth uncomfortably as the girl running the bases gives her a glare. You can tell Sarah’s turning into herself, the unwanted attention making her second-guess in the moment. Every young girl has been there before, and it makes your stomach turn knowing the feeling she’s having.

“Sir, I’d appreciate it if you keep your thoughts to yourself and take them up with the head coach at the end of the game. We’re all trying to play a fun and fair game, and I’m calling everything how I see it.” The umpire stands at the fence in front of the bleachers, projecting his voice up to Joel. He can’t be any older than nineteen years old, likely a college kid with a summer job. And definitely not one that pays enough to fight with a man like Joel.

“Calling ‘em how you ‘em? You really must not have great eyesight then, son, ‘cause that was a horrible call. I’ve got reading glasses in my car, d’you think you need ‘em?” The last line gets a few laughs from surrounding parents, and one glance over to Sarah again and you see her talking to her coach, shoulders slumped and arms limp. Her face tells you she’s asking for something, a gesture toward her father standing on the bleachers.

“Sir, if you keep this up, I’m going to have to eject you from the field area.”

Reaching up next to you, you wrap your fingers around Joel’s wrist and tug harshly enough to draw his attention. One look into his eyes with a subtle glare — invisible to most bystanders but communicating everything it needs to in the moment to Joel. He resigns with a sigh, waving his hand up in understanding as he takes his seat again.

Speaking only loud enough for him to hear, you give him a playful pinch and roll your eyes, “We’re leavin’ if you pull shit like that again, ‘cause you’re mortifying your daughter and it’s not a good look to be kicked out of your kid’s little league softball game, J.”

He rolls his eyes in return, the reprimand getting him riled up again, “But that was such a bullshit call, Mari. I couldn’t let the ump—“

“You can and you will. Sarah’s here to have fun, and you’re here to watch her have fun. If she gets serious about wanting to play softball and wants to join a league outside of the park district, have at it arguing with umpires and coaches. Cause you’ll be surrounded with other parents doin’ the same shit.”

“And how d’you know that?”

“I was a witness to the dramas of travel baseball for, like, seven years of my life. Dragged to tournaments for Chris every weekend over the summer. And saw plenty of dads like you.”

Joel laughs and shakes his head, leaning closer to speak low in your ear, “Sweetheart, I don’t think there’s a dad out there who’s like me…At least I hope there isn’t, ‘cause then what’s my appeal to you?”

You snort out a quiet laugh, shoving him away lightly before jesting, “Convenience. Barely had to walk fifty feet to find a hot dad. Didn’t need to prowl the baseball games anymore.”

“Convenience? Is that all it was?” He fakes shock and disappointment, a slow shake of his head until he breaks out into a cheeky grin, “Should’ve moved sooner.”

“Well, not that much earlier, manther.”

“Manther? Enlighten me, Mari.” Joel gives you a curious stare while his arm makes its way around your back again, resting at your lower side next to your ass.

“The male equivalent of a cougar. You’re a manther.” Beaming up at him, you laugh as he pinches your side, acting offended all the while he presses a kiss to the side of your head.

“Only for you, Mari baby, only for you.”

The Comets, Sarah��s team, won the game 6-4. To celebrate, the team agreed to meet at the Tastee-Freez nearby to hang out and get some ice cream. The drive there was filled with Sarah and Joel recapping her plays, and a strong scold from the younger Miller about the older’s argument. You kept to yourself, smiling along with the jokes shot between them, sitting back to admire the two of them.

You never could have expected this kind of life with them when you saw their small family moving in from your front living room window. 

Joel reaches over, takes your hand, and links your fingers together with a soft squeeze. When you turn to him, attention focusing away the road in front of you while the truck rolls to a stop at the red light, Joel meets your eyes with a tender look. His mouth lifts at the corners, pursing his lips as he brings your hands up to kiss the back of yours. The small gesture and the glint in his eyes fill your chest with a warm rush of syrupy ooze, enough heat to spread to the rest of your body and between your ribs, and leave you with tingling nerves.

The parking lot is packed when you arrive, Joel opting to park along the side of the road in the mix of grass and gravel. Hopping out of the car, Joel is quick to get around and take your hand again, pressing his lips to the top of your head as the pair of you walk behind Sarah up to the snaking line filled with her teammates and their families.

“Remember our first date here?” Joel inquires, tilting his head with a growing smile.

Chuckling, you nod and reciprocate his smile, “How could I forget? You got a butterscotch-dipped cone, weirdo.”

“Hey, if I remember correctly, you’re the one who polished off my cone and I took yours. So quit knockin’ the butterscotch dip, Mari,” Joel’s voice is dripping with nostalgia, the date you two had two years ago feeling like a lifetime ago. While the line moves forward, you lean back against his chest, and his hands find your sides, skating up and down along the fabric of your sundress. In front of you, you reach out and rest your hands on Sarah’s shoulders, smiling when she leans back into your touch. Her tiny frame sways drowsily in your arms, one of your hands reaching up to play with her curls gently.

“Feelin’ tired, Sare Bear?” Your chin tucks into your neck to look down at her and she looks up, nodding slowly and stretching her arms in front of her. Reaching your arms around her shoulders, you hold her comfortably against her chest, the three of you in a tight-knit row in line. “Well, you’ll get a sugar high from the ice cream and then you can crash at home after you hang with your friends. You just give us the word and we’ll head home, yeah?”

Joel orders for the three of you at the front of the line, refusing your offer to pay and shooing you off to find a spot to sit. Sarah eyes a table of her friends and you nudge her side, nodding and telling her to go sit with them, “I’ll survive with your dad myself, I promise.”

Sarah giggles and jogs off, leaving you to find a spot at a small table for you and Joel. He drops off Sarah’s sundae to her before he makes his way over to you, handing off your chocolate-dipped twist while he keeps his butterscotch cone. It’s always easy conversation for the two of you, discussing plans for the next morning about when to leave to take Sarah to the aquarium and what to do for dinner when you’re home.

Things are simple. Reminiscing on old memories while making new ones, watching Sarah laugh and smile with her friends.

“So, what are you gonna do when she’s a teenager?” You inquire, taking your attention away from Sarah’s posse and focusing back on Joel.

“What am I gonna do? I think you mean what are we gonna do? I’m gonna need all the help I can get, and well, you’re the one who’s been a teenage girl before.” He gestures to your cone with his, and you reach it out to switch with him. Continuing to snack on his vanilla and butterscotch, the two of you talk about what you were like as a teenager and what you think Sarah will be like.

Before you know it, your cones are completely gone and you’re left with a pile of sticky paper napkins. Sarah walks over, plopping down next to Joel on the bench of the picnic table. The three of you chat for a bit longer before heading back to the car, en route to home for the evening.

Sarah’s tucked upstairs in bed, Joel’s sock-covered feet bouncing down the stairs that you hear from your place in the kitchen, finishing up your wipe-down from cleaning up dinner. Joel plops down on the couch as you walk back into the living room, greeting you with a sleepy smile and an arm-lifted to invite you in.

Happily, you cuddle into his side, giggling quietly as he pepper kisses across your profile while you flick on the TV. Mindlessly channel searching, you’re reminded of the conversation with your mother from this morning, and remember how you wanted to tell Joel all about it.

Sitting up and turning to him, you laugh quietly as you start to recollect, “Guess what I forgot to tell you this morning?”

“Hm, what, baby?” Joel answers, trailing his fingers along the bare skin exposed from your camisole.

“My mom came into the kitchen as I was makin’ breakfast and she told me about this kid, well, I guess he’s not a kid anymore, but anyways, this kid from high school that was a year older than me and is my mom’s friend’s son. And she was saying how good he’s doing, how he just moved back here from Chicago and is looking for people to hang out with, and then she gave me this look — oh my god, if you could see this look she does, it’s like she’ll completely shatter if you don’t do what she’s asking of you — and she tells me that she got his number. For me,” you guffaw, shaking your head before continuing, “And I mean, that look, I just couldn’t say no and so I told her I would think about it—”

“You would think about it?” Joel interrupts, sitting up straighter and brow knitting together as his voice grows half a decibel louder.

You squirm in your seat, cringing at the harshness in his voice and inching away to look him in the eyes, “Um, yeah. I mean I couldn’t just come right out and say ‘no’, she would ask me a million questions why.”

“Okay? And?” Joel removes his arm from around your shoulder and tilts his head in disbelief, exhaling out a laugh as he shakes his head.

“And what, Joel? Was I just supposed to tell my mother about us?”

“Well, no, but you could have said somethin’, Mari. That’s not very fair to me—”

“What would you have wanted me to say? You aren’t ready, Joel, or at least that’s what you said, and I have been more than willing to wait but I know my mom and I know she would have picked up on something if I said no.”

“What am I supposed to think when you’re telling me this, too? Like it’s some joke, ‘Ha ha. Isn’t so great and funny my mom tried to set me up with some other guy?’ That’s not funny to me.”

“Oh my god, are you serious right now? It’s not like we’re a joke to me, I just thought it would have been a little bit of a chuckle for us. I don’t want anyone else, Joel, and I thought you would have known that by now. If anything, I should be the one feeling some type of way about having to lie to my mom about my relationship status cause you don’t want to tell them yet.”

“I’m sorry I don’t have the capacity to deal with your parents right now, I’ve got my own business to run and my daughter to take care of and you've got your own shit—”

“Don’t. Don’t even start with that, Joel. You’ve had the same business and daughter for the last two years and you’re still not ready when I’ve fully committed myself to you and been as vulnerable as I possibly can with you. I am trying really fucking hard to get better for you, going to therapy and possibly starting medication. I don’t know what else would make you feel ready. Us being married? We kind of need to tell them before that point. And also, you seem more than ready to tell everyone else in the world. Your daughter knows, your brother knows, random parents at Sarah’s softball game know. Why can’t I share you with the people in my life?”

Joel groans and leans his head back, reaching his hands up to press the heels of his palms against his eyes. You can’t help but roll your eyes, standing up and crossing your arms over your chest as you look down at him on the couch. After a moment of silence, he drops his hands and opens his eyes, looking up at you with a dead stare.

“I can’t do this anymore. Not right now.”

“And when are we supposed to do it?”

“I don’t know, Mari! I. Don’t. Know. But I do know that I can’t do it right now, and I don’t want to do all this right now.”

“Oh, so everything in our relationship is operating on the basis of ‘when you’re ready’.”

“Quit bein’ ugly, this isn’t like us.”

“It doesn’t feel like it right now. I don’t know what else you need to be ready to be fully a part of my life, Joel. We're always going to have shit going on, life is never going to get to a perfect place.”

“Mariposa, I love you, but I don’t want to do this right now. I’m going to bed.” Joel shakes his head to himself again, pushing up from the couch and rounding the coffee table. He brushes against you, hand bracing on your side while he gets past you and heads up the stairs, leaving you in the dark.

Only the glow of the television illuminates the room, tightness in your chest as you glance around the otherwise empty room. Tears fill your eyes, a trembling hand reaching for the remote to turn off the screen and the sound, punishing yourself in the lonely silence for a few minutes before tiptoeing up the stairs. At his open doorway, you tentatively linger within the threshold, Joel’s form slumped on his side but adjusting its position and breathing unsteady — still awake.

Without a sound, he sees you standing there before he lifts the covers, a normally welcoming invitation with a smile and a ‘C’mere, Mari baby.’ Instead, you walk on eggshells to the bed, slipping under the covers before he drops them on top of you, his arm tucking against his side. When you open your mouth to speak, he rolls over, back facing you. As you fall asleep, you study his broad shoulders and the curls at the nape of his neck, itching to reach out and touch him, show him your care, tell him about your love. Apologize for everything, promise to continue the seemingly endless wait until he’s ready. But you tell yourself you have to stand your ground on this and just discuss everything later like he wants.

Later. Always later.

taglist:

@beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholic @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissaaa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @brittmb115 @anoverwhelmingdin @spishsstuff @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @harriedandharassed @decemberdolly @laiisleitte @fierce-bab @vickie5446 @tbniarq @vee-bees-blog @thereaperisabitch @spidermanfrog @belliezz @joelsflannel @cartoon-garbage04 @bianqueee04 @nostalxgic @xyzstar @cumberpegg

[fredficaccount]

APRIL FIC RECAP

I read 13 fics in april and reread 1,

from several fandoms :

9 Larry

2 Drarry

1 Tarlos

1 Rwrb

1 Sterek

I can't express my gratitude and admiration enough to all the authors.

I particularly loved :

2 Larry fics + my reread

Symphony Hall, a series by @helloamhere

Night out + Saving Symphony Hall

Explicit, 134k words, completed 2018-01-27)

This is obviously my reread. I love everything about this story: the non-traditional character dynamics (the omegas are omegas, but that doesn't mean weak), Harry's devotion to Louis, this orchestra to be rebuilt, the idea of resilience, of daring to reach out to others...

A masterpiece

Here is a fic post…

Birds in Gilded Cages, by graveyardwitch

Mature, 157k words, completed 2015-06-21

Here is the post from my reading

Let's just say right away that this story isn't for everyone. There's violence, lots of violence, cruel and almost unbearable scenes, in keeping with the subject matter: sexual slavery.

Don't read it waiting for a comfortable fic... but read it for the courage, the strength, the love that defies the worst.

Where the tide takes you, i will follow by @pinkcords

Explicit, 53k words, completed 2022-12-27

Summer AU, american small-town atmosphere, with the tick-tock of September squeezing hearts and souls...

A sweet and beautiful pleasure fic.

Here is the fic post

1 Drarry fic

The Star Splitter, by @oflights

Explicit, 219k words, completed 2024-03-22

A long, beautiful story with great characters and a masterful script.

It's impossible not to fall in love with this Draco and this Harry.

So much so that I'm almost sad it's the end! I could have read on and on!

Here is the fic post

1 Tarlos fic

A Wash of Color, by @orchidscript

Explicit, 44k words, completed 2023-11-04

Artist Carlos Reyes, Journalist TK Strand

Strangers to lovers

Another beautiful small-town story about finding love and finding yourself

The fic post is here.