#monthly eyes looking like a cross eyed cat

[salt-volk]

god, anjis art looks like if you made AI art into your art style .

.

[choiseungcheolprincess]

Monster In Me// Choi Seungcheol

NonIdol!College!SeungcheolXBlackFem!Reader

WordCount: 4.9k

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞

Summary: For the last three years Y/n has been close friends with the 12 men that have come into her life by chance. She's not as close with one of them, and that's Choi Seungcheol. It's not that she hasn't tried, when she did try he'd get all stiff and ignore her. When Y/n finally had enough of him and enough liquor in her system. She decides to confront him about his behavior. She doesn't expect the answer that she's given.

“How the hell am I gonna get through this semester?” I looked at the dramatic scene unfolding in front of me. Hansol just sat there with his eyebrow raised. At the same time, Seungkwan freaked out about whatever things he had to worry about for this semester. 

“Kwannie, I don’t know why you’re freaking out. You got this,” I said editing my monthly planner and looking up to meet his glaring gaze. 

“Says the girl who’s taking a social worker and psychology course.” leaning back in my chair and stretching my arms out, then sipping my coffee. “I don’t know how you make everything look so simple Y/N,” Hansol said. Honestly, I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about. I’m far from being calm about everything. I can’t even look at a syllabus without my eyes going cross-eyed. 

“What do you mean I make everything look so simple?” I asked, genuinely confused about what he meant by that. He shrugged and then gestured toward my iPad. 

“You just always seem so composed and focused. Like you done figured it all out” I laughed not at him, but at the fact that I seemed like I figured it out, because I do not have it all together. 

“Hansol, would you believe me if I told you I do not have it all figured out? Because I don’t, you know who has it together, Xu Minghao and Moon221

“Seungkwan! Hansol! Y/N!” Someone yelled. I saw Chan running over while the others walked behind him. When I first came to Korea I met Hansol, I accidentally ran into him at the airport, and then on campus. Once he opened up, he introduced me to his huge group of friends. They all accepted me. Well, I think they all did.  Chan, Hansol, and Seungkawn were my closest friends in the group, and they always made sure to keep me company. They were like brothers to me. They always looked out for me and made sure I felt safe and comfortable. Minghao is quiet, but not in a bad way. I realized that he just lives in the moment. Very observant and brutally honest. Mingyu and Seokmin are like rays of sunshine. Mingyu is a fantastic cook and that’s how he shows his love (I’m not complaining at all) sometimes Mingyu is clingy, but I love him anyway. Seokmin is just the most lovable person I ever met. He’s kind and gentle, the kind of man your parents will want you to bring home. Then you have Jihoon, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and Jun Jihoon is a music producer and doesn’t leave his studio much. Wonwoo, he’s a game streamer and a very popular one at that. He’s a great person, nice, and caring, he also doesn’t talk much. Unless it’s about a game he finished the night before. Jun is a quiet man, but he’s very strange sometimes. Simply put he’s a cat in a human body, but I wouldn’t trade him for anything in this world. Last, but not least are Joshua, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol. Joshua is a gentleman, that you don’t want to get on the wrong side of because he can be very petty at times. Jeonghan is a very cunning, mysterious man. Who just so happens to know everything before any and everyone. Now Seungcheol, that’s a little difficult I’m not as close to him as I am to everyone else. Matter of fact I never actually held a long conversation with him. Every time we near each other he gets stiff and rushes to leave. That kind of makes me think he doesn’t like me. Also raises the question did I do or say something to make him so skittish around me? All I know is that he’s on the University’s basketball team and is the captain of the team, and he’s the most attractive guy I’ve ever laid my eyes on. No, I haven’t ever said that out loud before, At least I don’t think I have said it…Anyway, that’s beside the point. The point is what the hell have I done to the man that he acts like that this? 

“Are we still hanging out Friday?” Mingyu asked. Everyone hummed in agreement I just sat there silently. Until Mingyu nudged me. 

“Y/n?” I glanced up looking at him before looking at everyone else. Seungcheol and I  made eye contact before he glanced away. 

“O-oh yeah, I’m free Friday,” I said smiling softly. They all cheered. I glanced back at Seungcheol giving him a soft smile, he gave a shy smile and turned to talk to Joshua. Jeonghan on the other hand was just smirking at me. Confused I ignored it and kept talking to Mingyu and Seokmin about plans for Friday. 

For the next few days, I did the same routine. Class, hang out with the guys, and then do my homework, then go to work. Then home to do it all over again, but when Friday comes I meet up with Seungkwan, Hansol, Chan, and his girlfriend Gracie. 

“Did I do something to Cheol? I mean every time I try to talk to him, he seems to completely ignore my presence like it’s a real inconvenience or something.” When I asked they all got quiet. 

“I don’t think it’s the fact that he doesn’t like you Y/n. Maybe he’s shy?” Seungkwan said placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. 

“Three years shy? Kwannie let’s be serious. He just doesn’t like me and I don’t know why. Or want to know why at this point..” I sighed and realized we got to Jihoon’s house and walked in going straight to grab a cup of whatever sinful liquid I could get my hands on. 

After an hour I’m sitting in the backyard with Joshua, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, Seokmin, Seungkwan, Mingyu, and Seungcheol. We were currently watching Soonyoung and Seungkwan playfully bicker. That was until the four of them left leaving me with Joshua and Seungcheol. Who was surprisingly sitting in the chair next to me? I sat there in silence looking at the clouds and the moon and not paying attention to the conversation the two men were having. 

“I’ll be back, I have to go to the bathroom,” Joshua said getting up and jogging back into the house leaving me with Seungcheol. At this point, I had maybe 3 cups of mysterious liquor that Chan had made and handed to me so I was feeling pretty bold. Yes, I know exactly what I’m doing, but my brain and my mouth are not on the same page because the words leave my mouth before I can even realize it. 

"Do you dislike me or something?" I asked seriously making his eyes widen. We wouldn't be having this conversation if Joshua didn't leave us out here alone. Drinking. I possibly wouldn't have asked this stupid ass question. You know how in school they say there's no such thing as a stupid question? Well them fuckers lied. Cause I just asked one.  Seungcheol just looked at me for a few then at his drink. Lifting the cup to his lips and drinking the whole thing. before standing up grabbing my hand and pulling me toward him chest-to-chest.

"I don't dislike you. It's just hard for me to be near you." He whispered his lips softly brushing against mine. I didn't back away. I was anticipating his next move.

"Ever since you became one of the most important people in my life, I just didn't want to mess anything up. So I stayed away from you. I guess I should've thought it through, but since you wanna know so bad." His hand ran down my side stopping to grab my waist and pulling me closer. His head dipped down to my neck, Nose running over my skin leaving goosebumps on my skin.

"I crave you Y/N, I can't think straight when you're near me. I want to do so many things to you that just a taste won't even satisfy me. So if you don't want that, I have to stay far away from you, because if not, We'll be locked in my room for as long as possible so I can get acquainted with every inch of this beautiful body. I wanna break you and put you back together again, and make sure the only name you remember is mine" He kissed my neck. I sighed, but before I could say anything he walked away, which left me confused.

  "What the fuck was that?" I asked myself. Before walking after him. I caught up with him and grabbed his arm. "What was that?" I asked. He didn't respond just smirked. I bit my lip staring up at him.

“Cheol, you can’t just ignore me” He smiled. 

“I’m not ignoring you, baby. Just want to give you some time to think about what I said” He leaned down hand on my cheek, then gently placed his lips on mine. Before I could even kiss him back he pulled away. 

“When you’re ready..you’ll know where to find me” He whispered then walked away. Leaving me standing there in Jihoon’s driveway shocked.  When I walked back into the house everyone looked at me. 

“Where’s Cheol?” Joshua asked I simply said that he went home, and nothing else. Not even a summary of what happened. I told Seungkwan I was gonna go home, then bid my ‘see you later to everyone and their partners. 

“I’ll come with you,” Crystal, Wonwoo’s girlfriend said looking at the rest of the girls. They all nodded in agreeance. Walking over to me smiling. 

“Let’s know when you get there yeah?” Minghao said We hummed our answer grabbed our things and walked out the door. The walk started quiet, my brain on overdrive. Still thinking about the feel of Cheol’s lips on mine. Bonnie and Tara looked at me 

“Wanna tell us what’s going on?” Tara asked me. Shaking me out of my head 

“Huh?” I said 

“You and Cheol were the only two people that were outside. Only you came into the house, through the front door, when you both were in the back. What happened?”, I shook my head. "Nothing," I lied. They exchanged a look but didn't say anything. We continued our walk in silence, my heart still pounding in my chest. 

“I asked Seungcheol if there was something that I did for him to dislike me, and the answer I got wasn’t what I expected it to be. When I asked him what that was he told me ‘When you ready, you’ll know where to find me’ What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I said they all stopped and looked at me. 

“What?” I asked looking at them. 

“We need to get you home so we can all have some wine and talk this out,” Bonnie said. 

It’s been a few days since the hang-out at Jihoon’s and the girls spent the entire weekend with me. I told them fully what Seungcheol said to me and they were flabbergasted, just like I was. When I asked them what should I do. They said and I quote: “After three years and the way he made you feel, he can wait a few more days for you”  Now I know they are right, but here’s the thing I’ve been dreaming about the man ever since that night. I dream about his lips and hands on my body. Him telling me that I’m a good girl and makes me cum over and over and over again until I can’t take any more. It’s so bad that my fingers aren’t even enough to satisfy me. I haven’t even kissed the guy and my body craves him more than anything else. I was walking to my lecture and bumped into him. 

“Y/n are you okay?” He asked steading me his hands on my waist. I nodded biting my lip he looked at my lips and leaned in my ear whispering. 

“Stop biting your lip, before I bite it for you baby”  I froze on the spot, my heart pounding. I soon pulled away and waved at him walking away. I obviously can’t avoid him since we are in the same friend group. Can I? Shit when did I get so down bad?  I took a deep breath and tried to keep my head up. I had to face him eventually. I just kept walking and tried to focus on getting to my lecture.

When my lecture was over I went to the cafe for a cup of coffee before I went the rest of my day, Until Mingyu, Wonwoo, Minghao, Tara, Bonnie, Seungcheol and Crystal walked in. 

“Hey, Y/n,” Bonnie said smiling standing next to me I smiled back at her. Feeling Cheol’s eyes on me. Trying to ignore him I strike up a conversation with Bonnie and Tara who just raised her eyebrow at me.    

I slightly shook my head and she frowned. Tara is supportive of me just giving into the temptation and just bending over for Cheol to have him fuck me 200 ways from Sunday. We all sat down at a table with our drinks and started talking about Seokmin’s play that was opening at the end of next week. 

“And he’s the lead male? I know he’s excited and working hard to make sure he puts on one of the best performances.” I said smiling at everyone, picking the straw up to lick at the whipped cream. I felt Cheols eyes on me the entire time. I tried my hardest not to look at him but glanced in his direction. His eyes are blank and dark with want. His eyes sucked me in and showed me how desperately he wanted me. His eyes scanned me until they landed on my l, making me bite on my lower lip. His eyes narrowed and he pouted. I chuckled at the cuteness. 

“Oh, Cheol don’t you have a game this Friday?” Wonwoo asked He looked away from me looking at Wonwoo. 

“Yeah, win this one, and off to the championships,” He said. I looked back a Bonnie and Tara who just looked at me. 

“I uhh, I need to go study. I have an exam tomorrow and unfortunately, Professor Park is a major ass” I said getting up leaving the cafe, and walking home. Once I was a few blocks away I heard someone call my name turning to Seungcheol. I stopped waiting for him. 

“You are such a fucking tease baby girl,” He said to me once I was within earshot I smirked, but didn’t say anything back. Just continued to walk. He followed me, and not a word was spoken. That was until we got to my place. Once inside with the door closed it was like a switch flipped on because he grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the wall.  His lips were on mine and his hands were everywhere. He was rough and forceful, and I welcomed it. I felt my body come alive as I felt myself getting lost in the moment. He grabbed my neck, his thumb stroking one side. He pulled away looking down at me. 

“Fuck baby, you're killing me,” He said. I looked at him through my eyelashes, biting my lip again he groaned, his finger pulling my lip from my teeth leaning down and biting it making me gasp. 

“You even make the most pretty noises, fuck pretty,” He said  He pulled me closer, his lips crashing against mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth. I moaned into his mouth, his hand traveling down my body, unbuttoning my jeans, he put his hand in my pants. 

“Take them off,” I said against his lips. He smiled.  He slowly unzipped my jeans and pulled them off, leaving me in just my panties and a shirt. Kissing me again, his lips left mine and trailed down my neck, his hands cupping my breasts. He groaned in pleasure as I moaned in response. Still moving down my body, I glanced down seeing him on his knees, I spread my legs as he started to kiss up my thighs. 

“Cheol” I moaned. 

“I meant what I said about wanting to break you and put you back together, make you forget about everything else and remember my name only.” He said before sliding his tongue over my clit. I gasped my hand reaching down and pulling his hair making him groan.  His tongue circled my clit as my body trembled in pleasure.  Cheol continued to work his magic with his tongue, expertly teasing and pleasuring me. Every flick, every swirl of his tongue sent waves of pleasure through my body, making me moan and squirm against the wall. It was as if he knew exactly how to drive me wild, and I couldn't help but surrender to the overwhelming ecstasy he was giving me. I was close. So. Fucking. Close. That was until he pulled away. Making me whine. 

“Cheol I was so close..” I whined he spanked the inside of my thigh making me gasp at the sudden action.  He smirked and whispered in my ear “Not yet baby. I’m not done yet.” He stepped back and left me trembling against the wall, wanting more. I couldn’t move. The wall was the only thing keeping me up. Standing in front of me looking me up and down I spread my legs, My fingers sliding down as I held eye contact with him 

Cheol's eyes darkened with desire as he watched me, his breath becoming more ragged. The anticipation in the air was electric, and I could tell he was struggling to maintain control. I continued to tease him, slowly running my fingers along my inner thighs, feeling the heat and wetness building between my legs. Sinking my fingers into my cunt, I moaned he just watched. His breathing picked up as he balled his hands into a fist. 

“Fuck, Cheol don’t you wanna fuck me? Can’t tell you how many times I thought of you fucking me on every surface of this place.” I said fucking myself with my fingers. He took a small step towards me. “Always wanted to know how your heavy cock will feel in my mouth” I whimpered. That was enough to get him to grab my wrist and take my hand out from between my legs, up to his mouth sucking the arousal from my fingers and pulling me towards him in the process. 

“Who told you, you can touch my pussy baby girl?” He said, sucking my fingers. Muttering how good I taste. When he was done he dropped my hand grabbed my thighs picked me up and kissed me.  I moaned into his mouth, feeling my pussy getting wetter. He carried me to the bed and laid me down, then leaned down and kissed me again. He pulled away and looked at me, his expression intense.

“Your pussy? If it’s yours why haven’t you filled it up hmm? Why have I had to fill it with my fingers instead?” I said kissing down his neck 

Cheol's eyes burned with desire as he devoured my words, his grip tightening around my thighs. With a wicked smile, he whispered, "You want me to fill you up, baby? Well, tonight, I'm going to make you beg for it. And when I finally do, you won't be able to handle the pleasure." His words sent a shiver down my spine, fueling my desperation.  We got to my room and he dropped me onto the bed. Sitting he reached for my shirt took it off then reached for my bra unsnapping it. He sucked in a breath, putting my feet on the bed and spreading them while playing with my nipples. My eyes darted down to the bulge in his pants. I made my way off the bed kneeling in front of him and unbuckling his pants. His dick sprung out  I slowly took him in my mouth, savoring the sensation as he moaned in pleasure. His grip tightened on my hair as he felt my expert touch. I continued to work my way up and down his shaft, feeling him grow harder with each movement. He sighed, touching my hair when I finally took him into my mouth. I continued to work my way up and down his shaft, feeling him grow harder with each movement. The taste of him filled my mouth as I savored his pleasure, my tongue swirling around him. 

“Fuck Y/n” His grip tightened on my hair, guiding me deeper, and I eagerly obliged, taking him in as far as I could. The sound of his moans of pleasure spurred me on, my desire growing with each passing second. I couldn’t help but slide my hand between my legs and rub my clit making me moan against him. He pulled me off of him. 

“Aht, aht, I didn’t say you can touch that pretty pussy did I?” He said I shook my head, 

“Words baby,”  He said. 

“No, you didn’t say I can touch myself,” I said moving my hand onto his thigh he smiled. Guiding my head back to his cock. I opened my mouth and took him in, my lips and tongue exploring every inch of him. His moans of pleasure echoed in my ears as I worked my way up and down. His grip tightened on my head, I looked up at him, Cheol's eyes darkened with lust as he pulled me closer, his hand still tangled in my hair. "Open wide," he commanded, and I obediently complied, parting my lips and allowing him to slide his length back into my mouth. He began to thrust, his pace steady but insistent, each movement pushing him deeper into my throat. Tears welled up in my eyes as I gagged slightly, but the sensation only seemed to heighten his pleasure. 

“Fuck, so pretty like this baby, ” He said as my nose hit his lower stomach, I gagged again, drooling. He pulled out of my mouth and thrusted back in hitting the back of my throat. Breathing through my nose he looked down at me mouth dropping open. 

“Shit, can I cum down your throat baby?” He asked I made a noise, saying yes. He moaned at the vibrations coming from me  He smirked as he watched me choke and gag, his thrusts becoming faster and more intense. I could feel myself getting wetter with each movement, my breathing ragged and my body trembling. Finally, with one last thrust, he came. I swallowed as much as I could before he pulled out. Licking the rest from his tip making him shiver in pleasure. 

“Such a good girl…” He said bending down and kissing me. I moaned “Good…fucking…girl”  He pulled me close and whispered in my ear, “Now, it's my turn.” He picked me up and took me to the bed, I spread my legs he looked at me like a predator ready to eat its prey.  Cheol's eyes darkened with hunger as he knelt between my legs. He leaned in, his breath hot against my sensitive skin, and placed a gentle kiss on my inner thigh, making me shiver. Slowly, he traced a path of kisses closer to my core, teasing me with each soft touch. Finally, his tongue flicked out to taste me, sending a jolt of pleasure through my body. His hands gripped my hips, holding me in place as he delved deeper, his tongue exploring every inch of me with deliberate, skillful strokes. Moans escaped my lips, my fingers tangling in his hair. 

“Oh fuck,” I moaned out. His fingers joined the fray, sliding into me with ease, curling just right to hit that perfect spot inside. The combination of his tongue and fingers sent waves of ecstasy crashing over me, my body arching off the bed. Cheol's pace quickened, his free hand gripping my thigh to keep me still as he devoured me with unrestrained hunger, my moans filling the room as I teetered on the edge of release.

“Yes, yes, yes! Fuck!” I screamed toes curling, he didn’t let up, and our eyes made contact, as he put his lips on my clit and sucked making me give into the pleasure. I was lost in a whirl of pleasure, my body trembling as I reached the heights of pleasure. Cheol's lips and fingers continued their assault on my body, pushing me closer and closer to the ultimate release. Finally, my body exploded in pleasure, my orgasm washing over me in waves. Working me through my orgasm, My thighs closed around him, but his hand spread them. He pulled away his thumb on my clit fingers still hitting my g-spot. 

“Give me another baby,” He said kissing my thigh, then placing his tongue on my clit.  Cheol didn't relent; his relentless fingers and expert tongue continued their assault, driving me to the brink of madness. The intensity of his touch sent shockwaves through my already sensitive body, my breath coming in ragged gasps. I could feel another orgasm building, even stronger than the first, as he pushed me beyond my limits, making me cry out in a mix of pleasure and desperation.

“Please Cheol!” I moaned, He didn’t move, 

Tears of overwhelming pleasure streamed down my face as Cheol's relentless assault on my body continued. His fingers curled inside me with perfect precision, while his tongue flicked my clit with agonizing skill. "Please, Cheol! I can't... it's too much," I whimpered, my body trembling violently. He looked up at me with a glint of determination in his eyes, his free hand stroking my thigh soothingly. 

"You can do it, baby. Just one more for me okay?” I felt that familiar tightness in my core again my back arched as I had another earth-shattering orgasm 

“Seungcheol!” I screamed out gasping. Working me through it. When I was finished he pulled away kissing up my body. 

“Good fucking girl” he kept repeating he got to my face and kissed me. Sliding his tip between my lips hitting my clit. 

“Please fuck me…” I whimpered out grinding against him. He hummed kissing my neck and making sure he left his marks on me 

“I wanna mark you until there’s no space left on your body..” He whispered his voice rough, I couldn’t help, but grind against him again making him slide in me. Just the tip, he looked down. 

“So needy aren’t you baby?” he said, I couldn’t say anything, just tried to pull him into me, He stopped me. 

“No baby, beg. Beg me to fuck your pretty pussy” He said slipping out of me and spanking my clit with his cock. I whined. 

“Please Seungcheol, please fuck me..” 

“You could do better than that princess can’t you?” He said teasingly, Pushing into me slightly, and pulling out again. 

“Seungcheol, f-fuck.. Please fuck my pretty tight pussy, I wanna cum around you, Fuck don’t you wanna cum in me, please fill me baby” I begged. He smiled thrusting into me and filling me up. He groaned out, not giving me a chance to get used to him. He started slow and deep, taking my legs in his hands and kissing my ankle. 

“Cheol, don’t hold back” I moaned out he raised his eyebrow, and I nodded 

“Fuck me…fuck me,” I said repeatedly each time I said it he sped up, Dropping my legs down. My hands on his arms nails digging into his arms. He groaned at the pain leaning down to kiss me. I bit his lip and he moaned. 

“Fuuck, princess,” He said against my lips. He grabbed my hips and told me to wrap my arms around him. Listening to his words he flipped us over. His back on the headboard me on top of him, He didn’t have to tell me what to do I leaned back got on my feet, and started bouncing on his cock, He met every bounce with a thrust. Moaning his name like a mantra he wrapped his hand around my neck cutting off the blood flow, making me even wetter. I couldn’t even think about anything, but him. His other hand spanking each thigh then playing with my clit. 

He has me seeing stars. My core once again tightened, my walls squeezing him making him whimper. 

“Ahh shit, you gonna cum on me baby?” He said the circles on my clit getting faster, My eyes on his vision blurred. I nodded. 

“Cum for me, be a good little princess, and cum for me.” He said, My body shook and my eyes closed tears falling from the pleasure. My body tensed and I let go. Which triggered Cheol’s orgasm. His thrust picked up, breath hitched, he let out a grunt then gasped. 

“Shit, you feel so fucking good baby…So fuck beautiful” He grunted out. I collapsed on him still writhing. His arms wrapped around me hands running up and down my back. 

“You were so good, baby..” He said whispering sweet nothings in my ear. When I caught my breath I looked at him he smiled kissing me. Then said. 

“Baby, I’m not even close to being done with you.” I laughed. 

“Give me a few” Kissing him again resting my head on his shoulder. He kept his promise that night, he broke me and put me back together multiple times that nigh

[sixofpomegranates]

The Dove and the Agent | Ch.14

✨My Main Masterlist | 18+ | AO3 | Wattpad✨

🕊Masterlist | Soundtrack | Aestethic Trailer🕊

✨previous chapter✨

Chapter CW: Mentions of canon typical violence/bullying/emotionally abusive mother/TOXIC family/anxiety/mental illness/children/college, books, clumsiness, cooking/eating, pining

**********

"Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives." — Lemony Snicket

After coming home on Wednesday evening, Emily had given us the days off until Monday — as long as there weren't any emergencies of course.

Penelope had yelled at me and Professor Reid when picking me up from the hanger, lecturing me about not going on solo missions and the Professor about watching after me better.

Once her original anger and worries were gone, she had hugged me and quickly realized that I had come home from my first case with an injury. After almost starting to cry and smacking Professor Reid's injured chest, she had calmed down and since then and fully taken on her role as my 'Cat Mom'.

I admit, it confused me and weirded me out but she was actually being like an older sister or mom to me. Right now, she was bandaging my left arm and wrist with, a little stiff, neon-pink bandages to make me a little more immobile.

It was now Friday and I had nineteen times in the last 48 hours cried out in pain. I would grab a book or twist my arm while stretching and quickly regret the day I was even born. Then I'd just simply forget I was injured about an hour later and make the same mistakes again...

"You're cutting off my blood circulation.", I told Penelope but got shushed.

Nodding happily with herself she started to pack away her first-aid kit while I stared at that eye-catching pink color. I knew Penny loved pink but I wasn't a fan... Mom loved pink when I was younger, always forcing me into pink clothing, painting our walls pink, and having pink furniture.

It was like 'Fifty Shades of Grey', just with pink colors and psychological torment instead of sex. My brain couldn't even focus on the color. I swear, I went cross-eyed every time I tried looking at it.

"So. Now get dressed.", I looked at the bully blonde confused. "We're going to Rossi's for our monthly dinner.", she told me extremely happy, and I shook my head.

"I- I don't know... I- Can't I just stay home and read?"

Penelope tossed one of my plaid skirts and a tight sweater at me... I guessed that meant no.

*****

Rossi lived in a Mansion. Not a big house, a giant Mansion. One that reminded me of my stepfather's in Miami.

As much as I wanted to have my own place though, I wasn't envious though. Big houses were worth nothing when all alone. I preferred sleeping on Penny's couch and having company over getting lost in my own four walls at times.

Still impressive though.

When we arrived I felt like something was off. Having anxiety, I always felt like something was potentially wrong in most given moments but this time I was very sure something was up.

Penelope was tapping away on her phone, her neon green nails making dozens of small sounds during it. She also didn't let me out of the car, trying to distract me with music she thought I'd like given my Spotify playlists she forced me to share with her weeks ago.

When she then, after four songs, got a message, we were finally going inside. My astonishment at what was awaiting me, let me react by having a loud giggle escape me.

"Surprise!", the entire team yelled as Penelope dragged me inside the large, open living room area that was probably bigger than any of my future apartments would ever be.

There was a huge banner saying 'Happy Birthday Dove' hung up, surrounded by clear balloons filled with colorful confetti.

Penelope started to happily shake and hug me from the side while I just stared at them, my brain already preparing me to have them say 'Sike'. There was no way they wanted to celebrate my birthday with me. Except for Aunt Celia and Ellie, nobody had ever wanted to.

"Oh no. I think we broke her.", Derek chuckled, having me realize that he was here with Savannah.

"Hi.", I replied to the entirety of people I'd love to consider my friends, and they laughed, greeting me in the process.

As my eyes looked around the happy people, Penelope was quick to hand me a glass of sparkling wine and pull me more into the group since my introverted self had still stood right there where I had been surprised.

"I- I don't understand...", I mumbled in disbelief, eyes locking with Professor Reid's hazel ones.

"It's your birthday party, Dove.", he explained as if this gesture was the most normal thing in the world but seemed to understand my brain being unable to comprehend it. "We always celebrate our friends' birthdays."

An almost inaudible "Thanks..." left my lips, almost crying because they seemed to think of me as a friend, and I was escorted into the kitchen where some pasta and ingredients were awaiting me.

"A little family tradition is that every single one of us had to prepare their own pasta dish once.", Rossi clarified. "You're one of us, Principessa."

Me cooking wasn't much of an issue... But cooking with people watching what I did let me start to shake like crazy. My anxiety quickly made me feel something I could only describe as stage fright.

"You don't have to, little bird.", Professor Reid whispered over my shoulder while I earned sympathetic smiles. My shaking seemed to have become too obvious.

"Yeah, zero worries. Spence never cooked either.", I looked from JJ to my Professor, and he shrugged and nodded for an answer. "I only saved you guys from food poisoning.", he laughed, and I looked at him.

"But it's a family tradition.", I repeated Rossi having Professor Reid grin cockily.

"You'd be surprised about all the things you're able to get out of if you only know how to." "I really don't work well under pressure.", I whispered in his direction, hoping nobody except him would hear it. His eye wandered down and focused on my bandaged hand.

"Does it still hurt?", my shaking of the head was not taken seriously. My Professor pulled me to the stove and kneeled down pulling out another pan. "I'll help Dove.", he announced to our friends, Emily being quick to throw a packed cheese at him, which he caught.

"That's against the rules, Reid.", she lectured him, having him carefully lift my arm. "She's hurt and therefore I won't take any criticism.", he said, then looking at me as he let go of my arm. "That's quite a color.", I nodded at his objection. "Penelope.", I giggled, having him nod. "My brain can't even focus on it."

"Pretty boy is breaking the rules for pretty girl. Now that's new.", Derek chuckled, having the Professor blink at me. I, of course, knew he was 'Pretty boy' in Derek's vocabulary but the unfitting 'Pretty girl' for me seemed to have come as a surprise.

"Pretty girl, huh?", he asked me jokingly while I gave him an awkward, closed-lip smile and nodded. "And I don't break the rules. I'll just... bend them a little. I'll help when Dove needs me and meanwhile I'll cook the dish I was supposed to make years ago.", Derek lifted his arms at that, rendering himself defeated.

"You don't have to.", I whispered to Professor Reid, him leaning closer to hear me.

"I don't mind it but I'll have you taste it.", he assured me. "Now c'mon. The faster we cook, the faster we eat and can give you your presents.", I blinked at him confused.

"Presents?", I asked, and JJ laughed. "It's your birthday, Dove.", while the Professor started to heat up the two pans in front of us, I nodded.

"Y- Yeah. But-", I must've looked anxious since Matt quickly tried coming to the rescue. "Don't worry. We let Spencer take care of that.", Tara nodded agreeing. "Yeah. Not like he would've let us done anything without his supervision anyway."

At Professor Reid's nudging, I quickly put some oil into the heated pan in front of me, adding some small diced bacon and onions.

"Just for the record, I was a little overprotective and worried about this evening since I didn't know how your anxiety would handle it.", he told me, mirroring me with the oil and the onions.

I didn't like surprises normally but this right here seemed nice. Once the first scare was gone and I would get used to this scene, I bet I was going to enjoy it.

"He annoyed the crap out of Emily because she wanted to buy you a leather jacket.", Luke chuckled, and Emily nodded, emptying her wineglass.

"Yeah, he was all like 'Oh, Emily. Actually, technically, we don't know if my precious little bird likes leather or not. I also don't want you to buy her clothes either.'", Emily began mocking, and I could see my Professor starting to blush as I put some pasta into my pan.

"I- I did not call her that.", he tried stuttering, quickly changing the subject as he looked at my pan. "H-How are you so fast?"

"I'm not fast, you're slow.", I replied unnecessarily sassy. "Sorry. Didn't mean to-" "She's right, Reid. You're slow.", Rossi laughed. "And your onion is burned."

Professor Reid cursed under his breath and tossed some ground beef and tomato sauce into his pan, once more mirroring me as I put some parmesan into mine. As I then cracked an egg into the pan and mixed everything together he gave me an angry glare.

"You don't even need two hands to crack an egg open.", he muttered almost insulted, and I started to laugh, turning off my place on the stove and started cleaning up the plates I had used. "And there I was trying to help you. Could've told me you know how to cook."

I stepped next to him, watching him cut a little chili, thinking it would save the mess in his pan, and throwing it in before almost touching his face. I quickly clawed into his arm.

"Hands. Wash them first.", he nodded, turning his back to his pan and doing as I suggested. "Uhm... Professor?", I asked, and he turned back to me. "Yeah?", he looked down at me, tossing in the rest of the pasta and stirring around in his slightly off-looking pasta.

"I- I often had food poisoning as a child.", I stated, earning some laughs. "You trying to imply something about my pasta?", nodding at Professor Reid I handed him a fork.

"I- It has black specs in it.", I whispered, and he nodded. "Those are the onions.", he explained, making me look at him. "They are black." "Just a little darker.", he waved me off.

"A little darker than what? Coal?", I giggled as he turned off the stove. "I'm sorry that not everyone can single-handedly whip up a five-star dish.", he countered, handing me the fork back.

He looked at me hopefully, obviously wanting me to taste whatever he had planned on making. I hadn't been joking, there were pitch black little pieces of coal in his food. Suddenly I understood why his fridge had been empty and he wanted to order out when I stayed at his place.

My smart Professor with all his Ph.D.'s and BA's couldn't cook.

"You don't have to try that disaster.", Rossi joked, Emily joining the jokes and Professor Reid just standing there and taking it. Nobody meant it with any ill intent and my Professor made some jokes himself but I still felt a little bad for him.

"You have to taste mine too.", I told him, taking a fork full and praying that the meat was at least no longer raw.

It was.

Yeah, that was bad. I chewed a while, holding back the gagging while our friends just waited and Rossi even handed me a small bucket.

"You know you can spit it out, right? I won't be mad.", Professor Reid told me but I shook my head. I swallowed the food and grimaced my face, quickly emptying my glass of sparkling wine.

"She didn't even gag. Pretty girl is hardcore.", Derek laughed in surprise, while I wiped away a tear.

Oh, that had been bad. I greedily emptied the glass of water I was provided with by my Professor too. This taste was going to haunt me for a while.

"I'm okay.", I assured everybody, putting my fork into the sink. "You got a little green.", Professor Reid noted but I only smiled. "I can handle it. Come on, don't hold back."

"T- The raw meat really- It really balanced out the charcoal onion taste.", I said lastly, and he nodded. "Was still raw... Kinda forgot that that could happen. Sorry I made you eat it."

Puppy eyes. This man seriously gave me puppy eyes. This was definitely the cutest thing I had ever seen and for a second I believed my heart to skip a beat. Blinking a little and shaking my head I forced myself away from this look.

"I-I'm fine. Just- Just taste mine.", the Professor nodded, grabbing a fork and a full bite.

His eyes went wide and he made a very happy and surprised sound, nodding at the food as if having a conversation with it. As he was swallowing his first bite he already took the second one.

"This is amazing.", he just quickly stated.

"You think?", I asked while he wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me to the pan and feeding me the already ready fork. "Oh, wow. For improvising that's really good."

"Uh-uh. Just admit you knew what you did.", Professor Reid chuckled, eating some more. "The bacon is amazing. God, that's good."

"Technically you should eat your own, Kid.", Rossi said, having my Professor shake his head in protest.

"Dog food.", he told the team as Tara tried to convince Luke to take a bite from it and the rest of the team tested my pasta.

"More pepper. I should've used more pepper.", I told myself, but everyone decided to tell me in unison that I was wrong and it was great.

"I'd pay money for that.", Professor Reid said louder than the others, and I giggled.

"Good to know but that was pure luck. I had a 50/50 chance that this would flop. When I have a bad day I even mess up ramen in a cup.", he pointed at his pan.

"That's what I cook on a good day."

"The walking single-man-cliché, huh?", I joked back but he nodded very honestly. "Given that romance novels, these days, have men making heart-shaped pancakes and romantic candlelight dinners... I will probably starve alone, chewing on a can of Campbell soup. All I can offer are PBJ's."

"What's that?", I asked, and got a bunch of surprised looks. "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.", Tara said as I frowned.

"I have literally never heard of that.", I admitted, given the looks I got I really seemed to have found a hole in my knowledge.

"Your mom never made some for you when you were little?", Matt asked, having me shook my head. "It's such a classic thing to make for kids. Mine eat them all the time." "Same here.", JJ agreed.

"M- My mom never really cooked much when she was even at home and her family is from Germany, maybe that's why I don't know it. Is- Is that even good? I really can't imagine it to taste good.", I frowned.

As Professor Reid's hand left me and he stepped away, quickly making me miss his warmth. I followed him with my eyes to the fridge.

"Dave, can I raid your fridge?", he asked, and as Rossi nodded began smearing two sliced of toast. One with peanut butter and one with jam.

"I thought the J was for jelly?", I asked, and my Professor shrugged. "Potato, Potahto.", I nodded giggling. "Oh, okay. Tomato, Tamahto.", he laughed at my answer.

"Crust or no crust, Sweetheart?", he asked me, sticking the slices together, knife ready to cut. As childish as it sounded, I loved when he called me 'Sweetheart'. It was nice, I had never had a so sweet nickname. Pun intended.

"No crust. Crust is gross.", with that Professor Reid cut off the crust and ate it while handing me the heart-shaped remains.

I took a bite from it and looked at these hopeful puppy eyes again. This was really good. A little salty, a little sweet, and easy to eat. I could see why children seemed to like that.

"I like that.", his eyes lit up with that. "Really?", the Professor asked.

"Better than pancakes and way better than your pasta.", taking another bite I grinned at him. "Then there is the tiny percentage chance of me not dying alone."

*****

I couldn't wrap my head around it but when talking to Dove it always felt like it was just the two of us. I wanted to actually kick myself a little because of it.

There I was, telling myself not to see Dove as anything else but a student and friend, and the next second I called her Sweetheart and made her a heart-shaped PBJ. Treating her this sweetly was just so easy and the way she smiled and continued to stay at my side made it seem like she enjoyed getting this attention.

To be fair, she probably deserved being a little spoiled. No chance in hell that her family ever pampered her, called her nicknames, or handled her with care. She didn't even know what PBJs were. Having never eaten one was one thing but she had looked at Tara as if she had made a bad joke when telling her what it was.

Dove was precious. Even without thinking of my skipping heart, I wanted to give her the world. Pure-hearted girls like her deserved it.

We had eaten before Dove's arrival and Penelope had made sure they had eaten too. So when the kitchen was cleaned, the pasta was eaten — the one I made, being safely stored away in the garbage — we sat down in the living room.

Everyone was talking to each other, just Dove looking a little out of place, staring a little at her glass of white wine, and listening to the others talk. I sat almost across from her on the white, large U-shaped couch our glances meeting sometimes and awkward smiles exchanging.

"Sweetheart, huh?", Morgan asked chuckling as he sat down next to me, handing me a glass of whiskey. "I don't know what you want from me.", I quickly said. "You call her 'pretty girl'." "But for me it's platonic." "For me too."

Morgan raised his brows and laughed at me.

"Yeah, that's why you shared a fork with her and Emily said she was even allowed to drink from your coffee.", I knew this would come back to be used against me. "B- Because... She's a friend.", I stuttered, trying to explain myself.

Derek was quick to look right through it, he hopped up and tried pulling me close.

"A friend, huh? If that's how you treat your friends...", he puckered his lips and tried forcing a kiss onto me. "Well then give me a kiss, lover boy." "Stop that.", I exclaimed, trying to get away and he began laughing. "Scared your little bird sees us?" "Don't call her that.", I now hissed at him, and Morgan quickly let go of me.

"Okay, chill. For someone not fancying her you sure are whipped.", he chuckled, and I shook my head. "I just like caring for her. She's very sweet.", Morgan nodded. "Totally whipped."

"Don't let him annoy you, Spencer.", Savannah said, sitting down next to her husband, hand on her baby belly. "He's all over Dove when she's at our place. He and Penny basically adopted her a few weeks ago."

"Because she's a little like a smaller, blonde version of pretty boy here. Not talking much, hiding behind her books... I just want to socialize her as I did with him.", Derek said, resting his hand next to Savannah's on her stomach.

"Does she spend a lot of time with you?", I decided to ask carefully, and Savannah shrugged. "The training with Derek, she's with Penelope all the time, and sometimes she falls asleep on our couch while learning and crashes in the guest bedroom."

Derek nodded agreeing as I just imagined her falling asleep while going through the massive amount of study materials I gave her. The first thing on Monday was to cut that down by half. I had been way too petty when I gave her them.

"Kid is light as a feather. Two more years and Hank can carry her to bed. She's scared of kids by the way.", I looked confused at Morgan. "What?" "She avoided Hank at first most of the time and got super anxious when talking to him. They get along now since we used the squirrel tactic.", Savannah saw my look and smiled.

"When you want to befriend a squirrel you hand it tiny pieces of food to gain its trust. Hank brought her 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' and asked her to read it to him, armed with gummy worms."

"Weird. She has three little brothers.", I mumbled after her explanation.

"H- Hi.", I looked up to Dove standing in front of me, holding a book. "Can I annoy you a little? Emily is talking about... Sex-stuff and her ex and I kinda felt out of place."

"You're not annoying us at all.", I glanced at the book in her hands. "You brought 'Lolita'?", she sat down next to me. "Penelope said you'd be here and I thought we could talk- that was stupid I-" "No, no, no. Not stupid. Really good idea. I love talking about books.", she smiled at me, handing me her book.

As I flipped through the pages pink, heart-shaped sticky notes caught my eyes.

"Are you already done with it?", Dove shook her head. "Only halfway... It's kinda gross and I want to smack H.H. every two sentences."

"I know, he's awful.", I chuckled. "I like your sticky notes." "In a few chapters, I switched to flower-shaped ones because the hearts made all of it a little grosser. Then I remembered the artistic double meaning of flowers and got grossed out even more, and starting at chapter fourteen I just used regular square ones.", Dove grimaced her face a little, and I nudged her a little.

"Ready for this book to be over, huh?", the little bird giggled in response. "I can't believe my generation romanticizes that story." "Because they never read the book or are too ignorant, Sweetheart.", scrunching up her nose, she nodded. "Stupid youths."

"So young and already so bitter.", I chuckled, having Dove nod approving. "Gotta start early. I plan on becoming a crazy cat lady when I'm old."

"No partner and kids?", she shook her head. "Kids don't like me." "Hank likes you."

"At the moment.", my white-blonde student began to mumble. "And in the next one, he scratches, hits, and bites me, telling my mom I hit him to have her yell at me and all just because I read while watching TV with him."

Funny. I had questioned why she was fearing children when she had three little brothers. Turns out that that was exactly why. As terrible as it sounded, I couldn't even blame her brothers for their behavior. They probably just treated my little bird like they saw their parents treat her.

"Just unlocked a childhood trauma, huh?", I asked a little forward, and she nodded.

"One time, the twins got mad at me and threw all my books on the ground peeing on them. Had to throw them away.", then, within a second, she quickly shook her head, trying to blame herself. "Sorry. I- I don't know why I told you that. I'm so whiny, making it sound like I'm Cinderella. I have too many books anyway."

Heartbreaking that she was convinced to deserve that treatment. Having her things destroyed and not having the right to complain about it.

"Printed friends.", I answered. "That's what I call them."

"I have five moving boxes full of books and only two with clothes.", she admitted almost shyly, and I grinned at her.

"Men love well-read young women." "No, they don't. They like cheerleaders and preppy girls.", Dove countered, having me laugh. "I said men, not boys."

A pretty and smart girlfriend that loved to read and talk to you. Only a child or a complete idiot wouldn't be able to appreciate someone like her. Her hurt face let me however assume that she only knew those types of the male species.

"Wanna see a magic trick?", I earned a sassy little grin. Apparently, she was a little cheeky once she got used enough to someone. "Does it involve making my trauma go away?", I rolled my eyes, licking my lip.

"Magic trick, not therapy, little bird. But it will make that frown go away.", clapping her hands, she smiled at me. "Then show me, Houdini."

Sitting up in looking directly at her, I quickly pointed to her right.

"Look over there.", as she did so, trying to figure out what I wanted to show her, I pulled a little box out of the pocket of my cardigan. Dove looked back at me and directly at the box. "Happy birthday.", I whispered and she took it.

After opening it, her glance fell upon a delicate, golden belcher bracelet.

"A bracelet?", she asked as I took it from the box and clasped it on her left arm, over the hideous bandages. "A lucky charm bracelet.", I corrected her, making her frown.

"B- But there is no charm on it...", she almost whispered, not sure if she was sounding too greedy or ungrateful.

I looked at her for a second and played confused, patting down my trousers as if I was looking for something.

"Oh my... You're right. Now, where is...", I looked at Dove as if I was a little annoyed at her. "Dove, c'mon. You could've said something.", I lectured and pulled the little, golden bumblebee from behind her ear.

"The bee-pin!", she exclaimed as I chuckled and clasped it on her bracelet. "I had it made to a charm. A little replacement for your coin and wrapped around your arm it's harder to lose."

As she looked at it I knew she liked it, these ocean blue eyes couldn't hide anything. Yet, there it came. A wave of guilt as she didn't believe to deserve a gift.

"Thank you... But it's too much.", she mumbled as I waved her off. "Just a lucky charm."

"You don't even believe in them." "Wear it and prove me wrong then.", I answered, winking at her, and a true, lovable smile spread on her lips. "Thank you."

I had spent the whole of yesterday talking to the police station in Miami and to the crime scene cleaner. Nobody had seen her quarter and even if, they had probably thought I was crazy. So I had come up with the lucky-charm bracelet.

She seemed to believe in luck and little talismans, so who was I to ruin her naive purity?

Parting with this little bee had been the easiest thing in my life so far. Dove radiated a happiness that was worth more than a pin on my tie... And the bee suited her better anyway.

"Wanna have me tell the others to prepare your cake? I told them to play it safe and so we have a simple one with vanilla frosting and a bunch of toppings to put on the pieces yourself. I wanted to make sure you wouldn't get worried about having to pretend to like it should it not be your taste.", thankfulness reflected in her eyes.

"Thank you. I- I really worry about things like that a lot.", 'Oh, Sweetheart, I know.', I thought to myself.

"Do you like candles?", I asked gently smiling, and she nodded. "How about fountain ones?", quickly she shook her head. "I'm scared of them.", glad that I had been a little overprotective, I nodded. "Already figured but JJ bought some just in case."

*****

Note to self, my little bird loved fruits like cherries, strawberries, and grapes. This was important knowledge as I was now able to have her snack a little over the day, making sure she ate enough.

She also liked sprinkles and everything sour. Gummy worms, sour patch kids, little lemon cakes. She had completely forgotten her piece of cake, snacking her way through the plates in front of us.

"You know you're supposed to eat some cake too and not just the toppings, right?", I asked as she bit from yet another strawberry.

"Sorry. I just like strawberries and grapes and everything else. This is really great. Thank you.", she exclaimed to the entire table while Emily began laughing. "Fuck, you're so polite."

"You're very welcome, Dove.", JJ told her smiling as I quickly pulled Dove's piece of cake close since Luke had eyed with it for a few minutes now. "Yeah, I love birthdays.", he chuckled.

"Can we give her our presents, Spence?", I nodded, forcing a piece of cake into Dove's mouth, making her giggle appreciative.

Tara handed her the birthday card we all had signed with the 250$ gift card inside it.

"We wanted to buy you some books first but Reid pointed out that we don't know which one you already have... So a gift card seemed like a smarter choice.", Savannah explained, having Dove look at us bewildered.

She truly never seemed to have a real birthday party.

"That's- I- Are you sure that's for me-" "Nah. It's actually for the other white-blonde Dove that just turned twenty-two.", Luke chuckled.

A crying little laugh escaped Dove as she hid away her teary eyes with a smile. This evening had officially been worth every penny spent. Looking at our friends, they thought exactly the same.

"I just got really excited about all the books I'm gonna get to buy. Thank you guys so much.", she cried, and Penelope shoved a tiger-striped present in front of Dove.

"That's the second one. Here.", she told Dove who already played with the neon-orange bow. "I wonder who packed it.", she whispered sarcastically, and everybody chuckled. Garcia's style surely was one of a kind.

Inside the eccentric packed present were tons of pens, journals, sticky notes in all shapes and colors, and a planner with stickers to decorate it with. All was themed cohesively with paintings from artists like Van Gogh, Rembrandt, and Monet on it.

This had been Penelope's idea, so I hadn't seen any of it yet but Dove seemed very ecstatic.

"You're always taking notes so stationary was a given. I also remembered that you almost majored in art a year ago so-", the bubbly blonde began but got cut off by me. Had I just misheard something?

"Wait. You almost majored in art?", Dove nodded. "Then — and please ain't get me wrong — what were you doing in my classes?"

"Mom let me pick my majors when I first started college and I was a little quicker than expected too but then she read an article about art majors being just hippies and people without a future so she wanted me to switch majors. I actually would've only needed to take the finals and would have gotten my BFA — Can you imagine me as a Bachelor of Fine Arts? That would've been so cool.", Dove giggled and then shrugged as she married her own wish for her mother's.

I had seen her drawing, knew she was smart and talented... But my little bird had almost been Bachelor of Fine Arts. Given her smile, she would've probably been very happy about it. It seemed to have brought her joy.

God, her mother made me sick.

"But yeah. I looked for new majors and already liked psychology. You were one of the most recommended Professors and after auditing your class once I booked my classes. No biggie."

"I'm recommended?", I asked flattered and surprised, Dove giggling and shaking her almost white curls.

"Yeah... I- I just later figured out that the whole auditing your class thing was just a scheme for girls to check you out and recommended actually means nice to look at. Which is a shame because your classes were by far my favorite."

Feeling myself starting to blush, Emily whistled.

"Reid has fangirls.", she chirped, and I shot her an annoyed look before looking back at Dove.

"What was your auditing class? I- I really can't believe I didn't see you.", she smiled at me. "There are always about one hundred students. No chance I would've at stood out."

"You look like a Game of Thrones character.", Tara blurted out, eating a grape, and Matt nodded. "Spencer would've definitely remembered you."

Dove let her head fall back and groaned a little pained.

"Not the Game of Thrones thing! Ellie always made me dress up as Daenerys when she went to conventions with me.", Savannah laughed at that. "Probably made some fanboys really happy, Pretty girl."

"Ew... I never even watched Game of Thrones. I didn't even get through the first book without being bored.", my student tried to save herself from the implied topic.

Once the laughs had ebbed away, she looked at me again.

"By the way, the one with the pictures of the Black Dahlia, Elizabeth Short, and what the way she was mutilated said about the killer- unsub. That was my auditing day."

Oh, I remembered that chaos of a day. It was awfully fast to see who had just dropped by to hear me talk and who was actually studying to work in the field.

"I made some girls throw up that day...", I admitted while Rossi laughed. "And that made you enroll in his classes?", Dove nodded.

"I loved it so much. Ellie actually had to listen to me for the rest of the day about it because I got so invested. I really wanted to come to the next classes too but then I found out about these other girls auditing and thought it was kinda weird. So I just waited for my classes to begin.", she told the table and I admit I felt a little proud.

Seemed like not everybody auditing came just to stare at me.

"The Decan actually forced me to make my class a little tamer after that day.", I laughed, Dove shrugging. "Total shame. I still have my notes from that day." "You were only auditing." "So?" "You didn't need to take notes." "It was super interesting."

"If you want, I'll lend you some books about the case. I made a bunch of notes in the margins though.", I offered, watching her eyes grow wide. "Pretty please. I'm actually more excited about the notes now."

Tara handed out the next round of wine while messing up Dove's curls laughing.

"Dove, I love you but you're a nerd.", she started, making the little bird blush. "I know... But I could listen to Professor Reid rambling about cases for hours. It's the coolest thing ever."

"So I'm cool?", I inquired, and she nodded happily. "Totally." "Huh. Took me almost forty years but I'm finally cool.", I told our friends, Luke laughing the loudest at that.

"Reid, you can never let her leave. She's literally the only one willing to sit through all your rambling and still thinks it's cool." "Because it is.", Dove told him, and he winked at her. "Whatever you say, Princessa." "It really is.", she tried saying more convincing, looking at Luke like an angry kitten, ready to scratch.

That was when Rossi leaned forward a little, hand wrapped around a glass of scotch, looking like a grandpa getting ready to tell a story to his granddaughter.

"Have you ever heard of Tommy Yates aka 'The Womb Raider'? Reid and the rest of the team helped me writing the book about him.", Dove shook her head, instantly invested in his words. "Yates targeted Caucasian women, having a pattern of targeting high-risk victims such as prostitutes and drug addicts, then shifting his focus to low-risk victims like college students and soccer moms, with the victims always in the same age range as him."

The table went quiet as we all remembered Yates, Dove's voice breaking the silence.

"I know it's a wild guess... But does he have that name because he stabbed the victims in the... You know... Lower regions?" "Pretty good guess actually.", Rossi chuckled. "Who did he substitute these women for? His mom?" "Grandmother.", he corrected as she nodded. "If you want, I have some copies of my books in my office. You can have them."

Dove looked at him me and then at Rossi surprised.

"Really? I- I avoided them til now because I didn't know if it was weird when I..." "I only came to the FBI because of his books.", JJ told her, and Rossi got up. "And I feel very honored if it contributes to your education. Come on."

Walking to his office Dove almost bolted after him, almost tripping over her own feet and giggling at her own clumsiness.

*****

While Dove was out of the room the looks on me became rather irritating. When Morgan once more made kissing sounds I rolled my eyes.

"Stop that.", I told him, while Tara chuckled. "She is so fascinated by you. It's really cute."

"She just likes the subject.", I answered while Luke jokingly punched my arm. "Then you're her favorite subject."

"You guys are annoying.", I stated while JJ smiled at me gently. "You know they're only doing that because you get so defensive about it, right Spence?"

Of course, I knew that. I had an IQ of 187. I was a genius. Even with my lack of social skills, I knew that me getting angry just egged them on more. Childish.

"I just don't want you to think of her as one of my groupies.", I now confessed, Luke, being quick to mumble. "We don't... But the other way around..." "I already told him he's whipped.", Derek blurted out, Savannah hitting his chest but the other laughing.

"I think you two would make great friends. She seems to have a lot of the same interests as you and you feel comfortable talking to each other.", JJ smiled, and Penelope began hoping evidently on her place. "Oh my God. Yes! Imagine you both just hanging out and talking about books or actually going out on the weekend. That would be so healthy for you."

"You treat me like a nursing case.", I groaned but was defeated at Emily's following question. "When did she last leave the house just for fun after breaking up with Max?"

Oh great. I had stumbled into the hermit-talk again.

"Define fun.", I answered cockily but Emily was quick to shut me down. "Not just book shopping and going straight home to read them." "I like buying books.", I grumbled, Matt laughing at me.

"Please, you only go outside to buy them because you refuse to learn how to use Amazon.", shaking my head, I argumented. "I want to support the local bookstores... And yesterday I was at the mall."

"Why?", Penelope asked, and I shrugged. "Just for fun." "Bullshit.", Emily barked, making me answer nonchalantly while fixing my tie. "If you really need to know, I bought a birthday gift for Dove."

I earned a couple of 'What a surprise'-looks and Emily continued to interrogate me.

"And before that?", hitting the desk I barked back at her. "Fine. I don't go out much. Happy?"

Dove's soft giggle as she walked through the archway with a couple of books instantly switched my mood again.

"I don't go out much either. What are we talking about?", she asked putting the books and her presents on a neat pile on the desk.

"Spencer being a hermit.", Penelope snickered, having Dove nod approving. "Oh. Same. I'd love to live in a house far away from others. Just me, a bunch of books, and some cats.", as she walked up to her seat next to mine I noticed her walk was a little off.

"See? Perfectly normal... Hey, why do you have a limp?" "It's nothing.", she waved me off but Rossi came in handing her a bandaid and a disinfecting wipe, enlightening me on her clumsiness.

"She tripped over two stairs while reading."

My eyes snapped at Dove who looked up from disinfecting her right knee and gifted me an apologetic smile.

"You shouldn't read while walking.", I lectured her as she looked away again, sticking the bandaid on her knee. "I know that now...", she mumbled as I leaned down to, to take a look at her knee.

"Did you hurt yourself badly?" "Nope. Just hit my knee. Will probably be another few bruises for my collection.", she giggled shrugging, probably hoping I wouldn't worry too much.

Even if I'd wrap her up in cotton, my little bird would probably still find a way to hurt herself.

"Your kinesthetic is so messed up.", I chuckled, looking at her, at the knee ripped, tights and she nodded. "Another reason to take you to a gun range. Next time you maybe accidentally shoot yourself."

"That would be bad.", she snickered in reply, opening the book she had still with her and pointing at a word.

"Hey... Uhm... What's vivisecting something?", she asked me, and I wondered if that had been what was going through her mind when she tripped.

"Dissecting a human or animal while they're still alive.", she scrunched her button nose. "Ew." "You asked.", I chuckle, and she nodded. "Still gross."

As appalled as she looked, there was still an interested spark in her eyes. The type of spark probably needed to survive in a job surrounding death... Technically, we were all a little weird.

"There are pictures of the cases in the middle of the book.", I told her, and she was instantly flipping through the pages. "No way.", she exclaimed, and her nose turned again at the pictures. "Ew.", she whispered leaning closer.

I pointed at some of the pictures, enjoying this rather weird bonding moment, but sadly we weren't alone.

"Okay. Okay. Dove?", Emily grabbed our both attention. "We're celebrating your birthday. Put the books aside and drink with us.", she told her motherly, Dove instantly closing the book and me feeling a little mad.

"Oh. Yes. Sorry. I- I'm not good at the whole socializing thing.", Tara waved her off. "Don't worry. Now tell us something about yourself, so we can get to know you a little more."

"There's not much to know about me. I mean, the interesting stuff you guys already know."

I already prepared to jump in and help Dove. Her fingers were playing with her book and she struggled to keep eye contact. Should her anxiety start acting up, I'd be there.

"What about the books you're reading? You know, the romantic ones?", Garcia threw in, seemingly wanting to help just like me. "Penelope...", Dove whispered a little embarrassed.

"You read romance novels?", JJ asked, everyone seeming more aware of her struggling to talk than I'd thought at first. My little bird nodded. "Not the tacky ones though... And mostly it's not even novels it's more like... I don't know..."

Her voice became small again, probably thinking we would think of it as boring or embarrassing. Maybe even bullying her for liking something. God, had her family messed her up.

"What's the last thing you read?", Matt carefully asked, everyone, smiling friendly at the fragile girl. "I- I'm still reading it... It's 'Love Letters of Great Men'. I always read one when I feel like bleaching my eyes after 'Lolita'."

"And it's just letters?", JJ asked, having Dove nod a little more confident. "Yeah, a collection of love letters through time. Like letters from Napoleon, Voltaire, and Beethoven."

Penelope patted Dove's shoulder calming while chatting and taking some pressure off of the small white-blonde.

"She's a Pisces. That's why she's so romantic.", oh, the zodiac discussion. If I wasn't careful Garcia would pull out my birth chart again and drag me for being a Scorpio.

"I'm not romantic. I just think that it's a shame that we, as a society, stopped appreciating written letters confessing true, deeply felt love and are okay with replacing them with a heart emoji.", Dove said, this time even without stuttering.

"True. Men ain't shit anymore.", Savannah agreed, Morgan, widening his eyes at his wife's words and then looking at Dove. "You better change the subject."

The laughs at the table seemed to really help Dove to adjust and feel welcomed to openly talk

"Do you have a favorite letter?", Rossi asked her, and that sweet smile popped up on her face again. "Beethoven's third letter to his eternally Beloved."

"You're a dramatic romantic then...", I noted, faintly remembering the letter. Dove nodded at that. "Pisces.", Penelope started once more, Emily shaking her head confused.

"Beethoven wrote three letters to a woman he only ever referred to as 'his eternally Beloved'.", Dove began to explain to our friends. "They were found between his things after his death. They were not addressed to anyone specific nor were they dated with a year. It is unclear whether or not the letters were ever even sent, or if they were sent and might've been returned."

"What do you think?", I asked my little bird, making her chew on her bottom lip while thinking.

"Given what he wrote, I think he never sent them. It's clear that whoever he was falling for was younger than him and he was very aware of the age gap. I think he was very much in love with her but chickened out of sending the letter because he was too scared of the response."

"So you don't think she sent the letters back?", pure heartache spread on Dove's face. Yeah, totally not a romantic.

"That would be so sad. Why would she do that?" "Because she didn't feel the same?", my argument made her shake her head.

"I would've still kept the letters." "But that would've just kept him in suspense, thinking that she felt the same.", a whiny sound left her lips as she frowned at me. "Don't ruin this for me.", Dove cried out, and I lifted my hands surrendering.

"God, I want a love letter.", she added giggling. "Doesn't even have to be a good one. Just having someone put in the effort and try... People rarely make an effort surrounding me."

Looking around, into the faces of our friends, she smiled.

"Thank you for this whole birthday party. I- I really appreciate it... I- I mean, my mom didn't even call or sent a text, and you guys even got me a cake and a banner with my name on it... I never had one of those and- and- I'm sorry. I'm so depressing. Must be a sugar low."

This pretty, happy facade hid so much loneliness. When I looked at our friends, I knew they had seen it slip too. All of them painfully aware that this little bird had just been shoved out of the nest, no one ever caring if she was even able to fly.

"Dove?", she looked up from her hands, at me saying her name. "Hey, would you mind getting hugged?"

When she shook her head I pulled and her chair closer, arms wrapping around her.

"I want too!", Penelope protested, and I pulled Dove a little away. "You think you're ready for a group hug?"

.

Give me your feedback [also anonymous!]

.

.

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed)

@sweetandsunny @krystalynn-kelly​

[selene-tempest]

It’s our Kayo’s birthday, and to celebrate I dragged her up to Five to participate in another Live From Five.

Selene: Aahhh, we're back! Look at this! John, look, look how long it's been since we last broadcast. 

John: Why break the streak now, I'm sure we can go another few months… 

S: Hush your mouth, we've got a job to do. The world is still chaotic, Gordon still hasn't found the source of that smell in the hangars that he swears wasn't to do with him but is starting to permeate the house, and it's just nice to get away from it all for a bit. Go on, admit it. 

J: I admit nothing, we could have just hung out up here, watched some movies, eaten some snacks, took some time to properly relax, all alone…think about it. 

S: That…is very tempting, do we still have that bottle of mass-

Kayo: *loudly clears her throat* 

S: Oh, sorry, forgot you were here for a second, you're like a ninja cat that had its bell taken away. 

K: I'm not sure how to respond to that. 

J: She means you're quiet and that she's sorry that she started to bring up the Knotty But Nice blackcurrant-

S: I think that's enough explanation, babe. 

K: *grins evilly settling herself more comfortably in her chair* I don't know, I think I need to know more about this. 

S: No, you really don't. 

K: But I might be wanting to purchase some for myself. 

J: I think I still have the link somewhere…*pulls out his phone*

S: *covers his screen with her hand* Can we just get on with this, please? 

J: *smiles innocently* What's the rush? Normally you like to chat for hours and tell me off for trying to hurry things along. 

S: Because your idea of hurrying things along is to skip the questions entirely. 

J: A foolproof method, I've found. 

S: *gives him a squinty eyed warning look and turns back to the camera lense of EOS and its slowly blinking light* Hello, and welcome back to Live From Five, the monthly-

J: Sometimes. 

S:- the sometimes monthly, but more at random times, podcast where I force my darling husband to sit down with me and talk to you all about the goings on of International Rescue and the other organisations that help keep the world safe. 

J: When the world hasn't slowed down because of a pandemic that is. 

S: Ordinarily, yes. But now is the time when we should all do our bit to make life a little more bearable and so we have another of the team ready and willing to answer your most burning questions. 

K: I wouldn't say willing exactly. 

J: You'll soon learn that resistance is futile, she's like a steamroller-

S: Excuse me, sir! 

J: A pretty steamroller. 

S: That's better. 

K: I love how she didn't even try to deny it. 

S: *shrugs*

J: She can't argue the truth and we made vows never to lie to each other. 

K: So you finally told her that you don't like those new tie-dye leggings of hers? The ones you said made her butt look like a Rorschach test? 

S: EXCUSE ME, SIR!! You said they looked good with that black shirt I stole off Scott! 

J: The shirt hides your butt. 

S: First my beloved T-shirt, now my leggings? Is there anything in my wardrobe that you actually like? Or should I throw it all away and just go about naked? Would that please you? *throws hands up in frustration*

J: *quirks an eyebrow*

S: *scowls at him* We’re done with this conversation.

J: *scowls at Kayo* You just had to go there. 

K: What? You said you never lie to her. I was only asking. 

J: What's the first question the viewers sent in? *scrolls frantically on his tablet* Paul asks if your name is short for Knockout. 

K: Yes, it is. 

S: *still scowling, has now advanced to sulkily crossed arms too*

J: Care to elaborate a bit so she doesn't smack me? 

K: Elaborate how? 

J: Maybe how you got the name?

K: *sighs* I was ten years old, so was Gordon, there was a sparring match, his face got in the way of my fist. 

J: You aimed at it. 

K: He was supposed to duck and deflect it, that was the point of training and sparring. 

S: Is that why he can only breathe out of one nostril? 

K: Yes. 

J: Kath asks, how does it feel to be a strong female role model? 

K: I don't really see myself that way, at least I never intended to be one. But, I suppose that if young people want someone to look up to I'm glad that I can show them the truth about a few things and hopefully inspire them to try things for themselves. 

J: Such as? 

K: I'm proof that you don't have to be the biggest or the strongest on the team to make a difference. I might not be as actively involved in rescues like the rest of you are but I have my area of expertise and that's just as good. People shouldn't try to be someone they aren't or to match up to others, being yourself is just as good. You can be strong and successful without compromising who you really are. You don't have to compete with the rest of the world, as long as you can honestly say you're doing your best. We all have different skills and different weaknesses, none are more important than the other. Life shouldn't be a competition, it should be about being the best person you can be. Sure you're going to mess up sometimes but that's how you learn and grow. Oh, and that girls are just as good as boys. 

*S & J just staring at her*

K: What? I can be deep. I do have some insightful things to say now and then, you know. 

S: Oh, we know, we never doubted that. 

J: We just doubted you'd ever actually say them. 

S: *swats at him with the back of her hand*

J: Hey! No hitting. 

K: Are there any more questions or can I make a break for it in the space elevator? 

S: Of course there are more. *steals his tablet off his lap* Yoink. Next question. Isabelle asks if your training includes other sports or activities other than martial arts?

K: Yes.

S: *gives her a look that says she’s trying her patience*

K: *rolls her eyes* I was not told that this interview process would be so intrusive, I’m head of security and this is not very secretive.

S: It’s a question about your training, how can that be a bad thing?

K: Is that another question on the list?

S: Don’t get cute, just answer the training one.

K: I used to be on a Parkour team at university, I found that I had a natural affinity for it and I still practice it now and then, just basic wall and rooftop runs, that sort of thing. I also do some weight and strength training, like pull-ups and planks on objects, you never know what you might run into in the field and we should always be prepared. 

J: Natural affinity for it. I think you’re forgetting one thing you used to do that you haven’t mentioned…

K: *narrows her eyes dangerously at him* Don’t you dare.

S: What? What am I missing? Share with the class.

K: *huffs, admitting defeat* I used to do gymnastics when I was younger, lots of tumbling and balance work mostly, which yes *glares a pointed look at John* did contribute to my affinity to Parkour.

J: *smiles evilly* There were ribbons involved-

K: *lunges for him*

J: *drags wife onto his lap to use as a human shield* and twirling!

S: *attempts a very crap version of defensive karate hands* I can wax on and wax off, don’t make me use it. *demonstrates, protecting her man even though he is an ass who is laughing behind the safety of her back*

K: You have to sleep some time, Tracy.

J: I’m protected then too. *peeks over her shoulder to look at Kayo, very tempted to stick out his tongue* What’s the next question, love?

K: I don’t think I want to answer anymore. *crosses her arms defiantly*

S: *continues regardless* Emma asks what is it like living with Five Tracy brothers and who is the biggest pain in the butt?

K: John.

J: Hey!

S: Come on, you don’t mean that. No way is he more annoying and hard to live with than Gordon or Scott. No way in hell.

J: Thanks for the support.

S: You all have your moments, I’m not gonna lie. *pats his hand* Come on, Kay, just give me a decent answer, please. Show these boys how it’s really done, they have just been complete nightmares and we might have Brains next.

J: Wait, we what?

S: Have Brains next, by popular demand. It’ll be fine.

J: Have you met Brains?

S: *deadpans* On a number of occasions, yes. 

J: So you know that he likes the spotlight even less than I do, preferring to hide away in his lab and never see the light of day?

S: You make him sound like Victor Frankenstein. Which would definitely make the place more interesting.

K: *sits quietly looking smug, they have once again forgotten her*

J: I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. Kayo, what’s it like living with us all?

K: Well, that peace lasted a long time. *straightens from her slouch* It’s noisy, chaotic, and sometimes a little overwhelming.

J: *nods along, and they wonder why he spends so much time in space*

K: You can’t keep anything to yourself. Food, drinks, snacks, magazines, toiletries, everything is up for grabs as far as they are concerned. 

S: Truth. But they do have some good points. 

K: Yes, while it’s sometimes annoying, it’s not all that bad. When you’re having a bad day there is always someone there to talk to if you’re so inclined. You’re never alone and while that’s not always a positive thing, it means that there is always someone there for you when you need them most, you never feel lonely. I know that, whatever happens, there is someone there that has my back.

S: And who is the most annoying?

K: Scott, closely followed by Gordon.

J: Why Scott?

K: Because he’s too up in my business. He always wants to know where I am and what I’m doing.

S: That’s because he cares.

J: I always know where you are too.

K: But you don’t ask me about it and I don’t tell you, we’ve got an understanding. Scott also knows almost all of my snack hiding places and raids them when he’s annoyed with me, which is often. I have nothing left but a couple of Japanese kit-kat bars left, and only because he doesn't like Lychee flavour.

S: Sounds reasonable. He does that to me too, I think he’s just looking for any excuse to eat our snacks.

J: Why do you think I keep all mine up here?

S: Because you’re a genius?

J: Yes.

S: Ready for another question?

K: Do I have a choice?

S: Well, yeah, I mean, you can always say no or refuse to answer one.

J: We’ll let you have one veto.

K: That’s appreciated. Fine, continue.

J: *eyes scan the list* Let's keep it simple, Lauren asks where your dad is?

K: He’s at home *shrugs* He said he was fed up with constantly being on guard and suspicious all the time and that it wasn’t doing his blood pressure any good. So, he retired, moving permanently to his childhood family home so that he could concentrate on his first loves of gardening and cooking. The boys despaired the day he left and they realised they only had Grandma’s cooking to come home to.

S: That brings us nicely to one of Rebecca’s questions. She says, and I quote ‘Spill the beans, is Grandma’s cooking really that bad’?

J & K together: Yes.

S: Elaborate please.

J: * Looks nervously at the camera, he knew from experience (so did Scott) that Grandma had ears like a bat when her culinary skills were being disparaged* 

K: *cares not if she gets caught, continues confidently* She is easily distracted, so loses track of her timings and often tries to compensate. Like if she forgets to put the food in she’ll turn up the heat as far as it will go and cook it for a shorter time. Which leads to it being burnt on the outside and raw on the inside. But sometimes she does it the other way around, where she puts it in too soon and it starts to burn so she turns it off and it goes cold, so it's burnt and cold. 

J: *watches impasively as one would a stupid person about to make a very big mistake, like touch a hot plate without oven mitts* 

K: She loves spices too, hates bland food and thinks that everything needs to be full of flavour. But she’s not too concerned by the amounts the recipe, if she even uses one, calls for. Much like with heat, she thinks more is preferable. Recipes are not something she’s good at following, she tends to just scan it and trust she’ll remember it when she really won’t. 

J: Overconfidence is a family trait.

S: At least she tries, it’s how she shows her love.

K: I’d prefer she showed it with take out, but OK.

S: Sounding a little ungrateful there, Kay.

K: You haven’t lived with it for as long as we have.

S: Next question, before we accidentally start an Island kitchen revolution. Robyn asks ‘ before you got your own ship, who gave you the most rides or how did you get about’?

K: Probably Alan, I tended to have to go along to babysit him a lot at first and I’d make him drop me off on the way home. That or Scott, I couldn’t handle too much of Virgil’s flying.

S: She also asks who was the best pilot from a passenger's perspective.

K: For skill level, probably Alan, but in general, Scott. Alan is technically brilliant, as is Scott, but Alan was under far more restrictions, whereas Scott had less and is more to my tastes.

J: You mean he’s as reckless a pilot as you are and you kept complaining that Virgil was too slow and was boring to ride with.

K: He was and still is. His craft is far too slow, nowhere near as slow as Four, which feels like it’s crawling, but still slow, and he drives like an old lady. Actually, scratch that, Grandma drives faster.

S: Well then, I mean, I’d actually prefer to ride with Virg but...

K: Is that all?

S: *shakes her head and nudges John*

J: *checks the list* Rebecca also asked how you unwind after a tough mission.

K: How does any woman unwind? I quite enjoy a hot bath and a magazine, maybe watching a few shows in bed after. I also like to listen to some soothing music and eat some ice cream.

*S & J look blankly at her*

K: What?

J: *clears his throat* Nothing.

K: *glares at them* 

S: *shifts uncomfortably* We just...we just thought that you would do something a little less…

K: Girly? I am a woman you know.

S: I was going to go with depressed dumpee in a Rom Com, but OK.

J: *snorts out a laugh, then immediately stops when Kayo shoots a warning glare at him*

K: I didn’t have to come here, you know, especially not to be insulted.

S: You’re right, I’m sorry.

J: That was totally my bad *holds his hands up in surrender*

K: *eyes flick to the tablet and she waves a hand to indicate for them to continue*

S: Isabelle wants to know if there is anything you wish you had more time to do or something you want to learn?

K: *thinks about it for a moment or two* That’s actually not a bad question. I wish I had more time to travel.

S: You go all over the world.

K: I know, but that’s for business, not for pleasure. I never get to sight see or experience any of the culture. I’d like to visit some of the places that are significant to my family history, the land of my ancestors, just like Father did when he was younger. I’d like to know more about my roots. As for something I want to learn *pauses to think some more* cooking. *Nods firmly*

S: Cooking?

K: Yes, cooking. Father is a good cook and I’d like to have the time to spend with him and learn some of his favourite traditional dishes, like he used to make when I was a little girl. Family recipes always have little tweaks that you don’t find online or in recipe books, every family is different and they often aren’t written down, I’d like to learn some of them.

J: I’m sure we’d all love for you to learn too, so we could eat them, just to test them for you, obviously.

K: Obviously.

J: You know, to be helpful.

K: Of course.

S: *side whispers* She doesn’t sound like she believes you, babe.

J: *side whispers back* She never does.

K: I can hear you, you know.

S: Two questions left! 

K: Good.

J: Does that mean you won’t be allowing a quick fire round?

K: Whose questions are they?

S: Mine, one minute on the clock, one word answers, you say the first thing that comes into your head.

K: I’ll think about it. 

S: OK then. *checks the list* Steeve asks who spends the longest in the bathroom getting rescue ready?

K: Virgil.

*S & J stay silent* 

K: He’ll say it’s not him, he’ll point the finger at Scott, but we all know the truth.

S: *nods sagely*

K: Scott likes his hair super shiny, but Virgil likes his super high. So he will be there blow drying for up to an hour. 

J: *nods* I watched him once. Brush it out, product, lift it up, blow dry, more product, blow dry, more product, blow dry again, smooth the outside, more product, final blow dry then pat it into place. I got bored just watching him.

K: Says the man who’s got hair like that. *points at John’s front curl*

J: Hey! This is mostly natural. All I use is a little gravity paste to hold it in place so it doesn’t flop about everywhere. I’m enhancing the style, not creating a whole new one.

K: *grins triumphantly that she managed to get him to defend his hair*

S: Your hair is perfect, my love.

J: *self consciously smooths his hair, realises what he’s doing and stops, looking annoyed at himself* What’s the last question? *yanks the tablet closer, scans the list, then freezes* 

K: Well, get on with it.

J: *swallows* I really don’t think we need to do any more, do we? *turns the screen off*

S: What do you mean? We can’t just not read out a question that someone took the time to send in…* takes the tablet* oh.

K: *rolls her eyes* Just read it out.

S: *slides a side eye glance at John who shrugs back, then nudges her to continue* Steven asks who do you secretly have a crush on?

K: *one eyebrow lifts* 

J: You can use your veto for this.

K: No, I can answer. There might be someone that doesn’t annoy me as much as everyone else in the world does. He’s good at his job, he’s handsome and we get on very well, we have things in common and we are comfortable enough to tease each other and enjoy a friendship that has the potential to be more but that we’re happy with either way. *shrugs* That’s all I’m going to say.

S: That could literally be anyone.

K: Yep *buffs her nails on her top and stretches a hand out to examine them*

S: Well, that was somewhat enlightening. I think the listeners have definitely gotten to know you a little better.

K: Then I have to kill them.

S: Ya wha?

K: I’m joking.

S: I knew that.

J: Did you really, though? 

S: I had high hopes she was joking, OK?

K: Is that it? Can I go now?

J: Unless you’ve decided if you want to answer her quick fire questions.

K: *sighs* She’s going to pout at me if I don’t, isn’t she? 

J: Highly likely, but I didn’t think that sort of thing affected you.

K: I can get annoyed as much as the next person.

S: *mutters under her breath* Sometimes more.

K: Fine, ask your silly questions.

S: *grins and sits up straighter* OK, remember the rules, say the first thing that pops into your head, one word answers, feel free to say skip. Babe, time me.

J: *sets a timer* And...go.

S: Favourite colour?

K: Black. 

S: On a scale of one to ten how good are you at keeping secrets?

K: Eleven. 

S: Do you snore?

K: No. 

J: *snorts out a laugh* Forty seconds

S: Texting or Talking?

K: Texting. 

S: Nickname your parents used to call you? 

K: Tin-Tin. 

J: Twenty seconds.

S: If you could travel back in time, what time period would you go to?

K: World War Two. 

J: Ten seconds.

S: If you were an ice cream flavour what would you be?

K: Chilli Chocolate.

S: Are rats cu-

J:Time

S: I was going to ask if rats are cute.

J: We are not getting another rat, Alan already has Fuzz Aldrin. Besides, I already said no to the hamster.

S: But if Kayo got one I could help look after him and cuddle him and stuff.

J: No.

K: Yes.

J: Pardon?

K: Rats are cute.

S: Yessssss!

K: *smirks*

J: I think we’re done here.

K: Finally.

S: You’re both as bad as each other, I swear.

J: Yet you continue to force this ordeal upon me.

S: Yep. *turns back to the camera* That’s it from us here on Five. Thanks for tuning in. Next time we’ll have the little seen in the wild creature known only as the Brains. 

K: *sniggers* He’ll love that.

J: EOS, cut feed. 

If you want to read the rest you can find them here on A03.

[herether]

Noragami chapter 89.2 thoughts/theories/word vomit PART 1 of 2

Today...... today is another long post day for the Noragami manga fandom!!! :)

I think we should just jump straight into this, because during these stressful monthly chapters..... its better not to waste time

As you can see, this’ll be split into two parts! There are too many images ><

Before this panel, I made sure if Yukine was already transitioning into his other form, and the answer is no—he wasn’t.

I think it’s probably the jump of emotions, confusion, sadness, rage, betrayal, numbness, all of these things meshed into one 14 year old boy— that is causing his transformation, which seems like it was triggered by his words in this panel.

“She’s my real family, right?!”

I actually feel like we’ve heard that line before, “we’re your real family,” or “come back to your real family,” or something similar? sadly my mind is betraying me on who actually said it and when it was, but i think those words, especially to the ‘inner’ Yukine, was like a switch in his head.

Here, he’s transforming into a feline creature, black ears, paws, sharp nails, black hair. Now, the reason i’m actually not surprised he’s becoming similar to that of a cat, is because we’ve repeatedly seen images of a black cat not only in the manga, but in the anime too. I don’t think this was a random thing they put in there, especially when we talk about the anime itself.

Here:

In the anime ending:

In the anime, when Yato first finds Yukine and sees flashbacks of his past:

At first, I think most of us assumed that the black, blue eyed cat was there to simbolize Yato, because.... you know, black hair, blue eyes, sly and quick on his feet, knowing more than it shows. While it could be one of the cat’s meanings, could this have been foreshadowing this very moment in the chapter?

It might be a bit of a stretch, but depending on where you’re from, black cats may have different meanings. In Europe, they are considered bad luck—if you see it crossing your path, it’s an omen for death. In Japan, I looked into it and it seems to be the complete opposite, spiritually, they believe these cats are good luck and even have charms for them. This is where it gets confusing, because in Noragami, this cat type has been littered throughout the entire series with little to no explanation. Especially when you think about it being in Yukine’s past. We haven’t seen any pets so far, but he has said he loves them before. This is me just putting out whatever’s on my mind, but let’s assume Adachitoka decided to use the European superstition rather than the Japanese one. Let’s combine the two theories: Yato, in the form of a cat + bad luck. Doesn’t this make sense? Sadly, Yato has consistently been mentioned as someone who can’t make people happy, who ‘ruins’ good opportunities for Hiyori or is “only good at destruction.” Yato himself knows this, because he consistently reminds everyone that if there’s one thing he wants to do right, it’s that he wants to make Hiyori happy and stay by Yukine’s side as a father figure and give him a better ‘life’ than he had.

And now, let’s face it. The reason this has become such a mess, is because Yato sucks at dealing with problems in a healthy way, he didn’t tell Yukine anything and left him behind, which in Yukine’s eyes, who has gone through this in his past life and is left with the fear of abandonment just like Yato is—considers it another betrayal. Yato left him behind before, too, without telling him the reason why, and once he found out he was with Nora, he snapped. Do you see any parallels? They’re breaking each other because of how they’re dealing with their problems, but I will say this is much more Yato’s fault than it is Yukine’s. After all, he’s just a teenager who wants to be loved, he just wanted a caring family who wouldn’t betray him, and with Yato consistently disappearing on him, he felt he wasn’t giving him that and went a-wall.

This panel BROKE me. “No, he’s actually crying, isn’t he...”

Yato knows that Yukine is still in there, that his name isn’t broken and that there’s still hope to bring him back. As I mentioned earlier, Yukine just really, really wants someone to love him and be by his side. 

I’m curious to see what you guys think about what Yato was planning to do here? Was he going to sever their ties? I initially assumed it was something like that, but considering how hard he’s fighting for Yukine, and how far he’s willing to go for him and get him back, it just wouldn’t make sense.

THIS. IS. THE. ANSWER.

Trash dad seems too witty to actually win against in a fight, especially now that Yukine is on his side. If they find his grave, though, maybe that’ll do the trick?

The question still stands, however. What’ll happen to Yato?

I also think this was the perfect place to put a little bit of comedy relief because we’ve been crying our eyes out as a fandom for far too long.

I ALSO just hit the 10 image limit so,,,, part 2

[baskervilleshound]

Her Cookies Were to Die For (PART 4)

Snatcher’s eyes narrowed, and he began to wring his claws. He looked agitated���and confused.

“You…looked inside me? Kid, that’s a little screwed up, I have to say,” the ghost finally said. “I didn’t know your mask could look inside people.”

“It can’t!” Hat Kid squeaked. “But you’re not listening to me- something is literally strangling you in there! The spiky thing is stuck, and then there’s these strings that are squeezing your insides. We…we have to take it out…?? But I don’t even know if that’s possible….PECK!”

Snatcher was taken aback by how frantic Hat Kid was getting. He had seen Hat Kid disgruntled, sure. When he had made her clean that haunted outhouse, the little pipsqueak had been disgusted, and furious! She had been so mad at him for that- he could see it on her little face. Oh, he could almost smile at the memory. But not right now.

The kid was freaking out. Over something inside him. Was that even possible? Apparently, according to Hat, it was. But honestly, he didn’t want to think about it, and decided he wasn’t going to.

“Listen kiddo, that mask probably just…messed up or something. Or maybe you’re just losing your mind. That seems to be more possible, given your track record of willingly falling to your death out of my trees all over something as silly as yarn.”

Snatcher laughed and shook his head, yawning.

Hat Kid stamped her foot, barely missing the mask on the floor.

“No, I’m not crazy! I saw it, Snatcher! It moved! I saw--!”

“Who’s ready for breakfast?”

Both Snatcher and Hat Kid turned to see Cooking Cat in the doorway once again.

“Come on. That’s enough bickering then. You’re probably both just a little hangry.”

Hat Kid let out a huff and crossed her arms before turning her back on Snatcher and walking out her door. Snatcher caught a whiff of the bacon, and immediately pulled himself out from under the pillows and blanket. If the kid was mad at him or not, he wasn’t missing out on such a delicious, greasy treat.

Hat Kid sat alone at her large captain’s chair, a plate of blueberry pancakes on her lap. She simply stared at the planet revolving below her ship through the gigantic glass window. Snatcher coiled himself on the floor cozily, munching on a rather copious amount of bacon. He was a rather large creature, and Cooking Cat had certainly been aware of that fact as she cooked for him.

If Snatcher wasn’t so full of pride, he would have admitted that he was very thankful for the consideration. However, he was. So no one would be getting any thanks. Not today.

Cooking Cat looked at Hat Kid, who was still turned out and staring at the sky, and then Snatcher, who seemed to not have a care in the world.

“What did you do to her, hm?” questioned CC as she suspiciously eyed Snatcher. “Do I need to take that plate away from you to get an answer?”

“I didn’t do anything. No contracts, no chores, nothing. I just took a nap. That’s all,” Snatcher said nonchalantly, pouring the rest of the bacon in his mouth and swallowing it whole so Cooking Cat wouldn’t even have the chance to take it from him.

With a cocky wink, he handed her his empty plate.

“If you weren’t sick, I’d step on your tail,” said the cat.

“He thinks I’m stupid, and won’t listen to me even though I saw something spiky hurting him in his tummy,” Hat Kid finally cut in as she slowly spun around in her chair. “He’s a big meanie.”

“Kid, I’m not even bein’ mean! If you want, I could write up a few chores for you to do in my forest again- now that would be mean.” The Snatcher laughed, hard, before wiping a nonexistent tear from his eyes.

“Now those were good times- we should do it again!”

Snatcher didn’t get a response from either Hat Kid, or Cooking Cat. But he didn’t mind. Honestly, he needed to get back to his forest, anyways.

“Welp, I’ve got lots of stuff to do today. Gotta recount my minions and make sure they’re all doing their jobs. Smell ya later, kid!” Snatcher cackled before vanishing from the ship.

“Ugh. Bye,” Hat Kid grumbled, spinning in her chair once more as she poked at her pancakes.

---

Once Snatcher was back in his hallow home, he picked up the gift box that had been sent to him by Vanessa, along with the note, and disposed of it. He was mad that he even dared to eat those cookies. They made him sick!

He should have known better than to eat anything sent by her. He should have known better, especially after what she had done to him years ago over the bacon. She had undercooked it, so badly that it made him very ill. Snatcher had a horrible feeling that she had done it on purpose- she always acted so weird whenever he enjoyed his breakfast.

Vanessa would sigh and watch him with a cold distant look in her eyes. Almost a look of hatred at the fact that he found so much pleasure in his favorite food…and not her in that very moment, instead.

So, she made him ill. He remembered being ill for days after that breakfast. By the time he had gotten over it, he had lost a good amount of weight- so much so that his pants were loose by the end of it. He had needed a belt.

And then…when she learned he still did enjoy bacon even after being incredibly sick from it, she banned it from the castle entirely.

All because…Vanessa hadn’t wanted him to like that food, more than her…

Well I still like bacon very much, so there. Joke’s on you, Vanessa.

Was it just his mind playing tricks on him, or was thinking about that time bacon made him sick making him queasy?

Immediately, Snatcher grew angry. Still feeling ill, yes, but also angry. How DARE he still let Vanessa’s memory taunt him so. He wasn’t weak- he didn’t care about her! So why was he suddenly starting to feel so…oh god, so nauseous…?

Quickly, the ghost darted out the door of his home. As expected, his minions were stood in line for their monthly counting.

“Hey, boss!” a few of them chimed the moment that Snatcher showed his face outside.

“All of you. Go away. Scram! You get the day off, shoo!” Snatcher barked, urgently waving the minions away as he floated past them.

“Boss, what’s wrong with your face?”

“You’re turning blue, boss!”

“Haha, you told the kid you can’t turn blue! Such a kidder! You sure showed her!”

“I swear- I will eat every single one of you if you don’t go away right now,” Snatcher hissed.

Nearly the entire army of minions shrugged before disbanding, cheering about how they had a day off.

Thank heavens.

Snatcher immediately made himself scarce. He went to hide in the best place that he could think to go. The place where no one would willingly go unless they wanted to die by the hands that came up from underneath ominously black muck- the bog. It was already disgusting there. Not a soul would be close by if he were to get sick again- and Snatcher felt at this point that it was extremely likely that he would.

Floating above the muck, he watched as one of the hands from beneath the water dared try to touch him. In an instant, he had given it a hard smack, sending it splashing back down into the muck.

Carefully, the ghost made his way over to one of the rickety docks, and finally lied himself across it. Maybe if he lied still enough, it would just go away. Ignoring it would make it stop, right?

[monbeauloup]

my love language is quality time, words of reassurance. i'm enfp-t, scorpio, hufflepuff, i'm french muslim pansexual nonbinary they/he/she, i use any pronouns but this is the order i prefer. i have long curly light brown hair, almond shaped hazel eyes and a few beauty marks on my face. i'm 163cm/5'4ft. i have a wide smile with dimples. i'm chubby and will start a diet for myself and only myself. my favourite colours are lavender (or most shades of purple like russian violet and midnight purple), green sage, canary yellow, light grey blue and brick red. i'm open minded, would defend anyone i think is being right but judged. i really hate unfairness even in the littlest things, as well as toxicity in any form, it triggers me. i'm a people pleaser. i'm an affectionate person. i show my love to my friends by making fun of them (i never cross the line though) or of myself. i am funny and creative. if I can make someone laugh even if i have to embarrass myself in the process i get really happy. i am clumsy (trip on air and hit myself against furniture constantly also almost drop anything i hold). i'm sarcastic and humorous. i often quote vine or audios on tiktok i find funny. i am basically a walking meme i guess. i have a funny laugh and laugh a lot. i am a happy person. i can be loud one moment and suddenly really calm. i am an ambivert. i'm stubborn but patient. i'm sensitive and prefer to talk things out, i'm pretty calm but can get scary when annoyed or really angry. my biggest pet peeve is when people talk to me but when someone will try to get their attention they will right away go to talk to them as if i wasn’t talking in the first place and what i was saying is meaningless, so when people interrupt me and don’t listen to me. i have this habit of cracking my bones constantly, it relaxes me.

i am always listening to music with earphones, dancing and making choreographies. i enjoy listening to kpop. i like to write and when i do i like to put in as many details as possible. i have two cats. i like learning languages, i can speak french, english fluently, italian and spanish moderately and i'm starting to learn korean seriously. i dress in multiple aesthetics. i own 'quirky' earrings. i like makeup. i want to experience a lot with my hair, i would love to bleach and dye it in multiple colours. i believe that family doesn't necessarily mean blood for personal reasons and from experience. i am the kind of person who likes to do multiple things though i often stop something and never or later finish it. i'm overly confident yet extremely self-conscious. i often need reassurance because of trauma i have and trust issues with my family with transphobia and homophobia. my favourite series are alice in borderland and the umbrella academy. i like animes. i get scared easily but laugh and scream when i get scared. i speak with my hands a lot and i am really expressive. i use the finger guns too much and the word period too haha. i zone out a lot and talk to myself constantly. i would like to become an english teacher and still dance in the future. the perfect date would be either chilling in my apartment, going out to the amusement park or a picnic. i get slightly shy when i first meet someone but warm up to them fast. i get shy with people who are interested in me romantically even if i knew them for a while.

~*~

i ship you with dorcas meadowes! ♡

power couple.

leo and scorpio. when you put these two together sparks will inevitably fly.

you met for the first time, while she was on her way to the great hall and you bumped straight into her.

having been writing, you weren’t watching where you were going and bumped into her on complete accident.

she sweetly assures you, that everything’s fine and that she’s glad, you didn’t hurt yourself.

you meet again through a mutual friend and she asks you out.

having a lovely picnic at the black lake, while the sun is beaming down.

you’re both the happiest when you’re together. never ending laughs, glistening eyes and smiles.

same sense of humor and sarcasm.

when she asked you to be her partner, she follows it up with “should i call you my partner? significant other? do you have a personal preference?”

the black lake is your favorite place. just you and her slowly stepping down to the soft murmur of the water, the smell of flowers, picnics, braiding each other's hair and just spending some quality time together.

“i have something for you,” she says and holds out her hand, revealing a large shell. the spirals are perfectly formed and colored in lavender and all possible shades of purple. “a gift,” she continues.

you take the shell, fingertips brushing against dorcas' palm as you do. “thank you” you say. “it's beautiful.”

gestures like that to show you how much she cares.

deep talks about everything there is in life. she’s the one who understands, listens and gives you lot of reassurance.

feels like she needs to protect you and be with you always.

you dye each other’s hair with spells you found in a book from the library.

the magic seemed to flow fairly naturally, quite instantly beginning to yank at your hair, slowly recoloring it.

being bilingual and interested in languages, she loves that you’re french.

“what means doe (her nickname) in french, love?”

from that moment on, you're calling her "ma biche" and she gets all teary eyed.

the ESFJ / ENFP-T match is an interesting one.

attracted to each other's warmth, sensitivity and kindness to each other’s needs.

many subjects to discuss, a common sensibility, humanity and a very big envy to share and talk.

invites you to dance parties in the gryffindor common room and she regularly comes over for the monthly hufflepuff sleepover and helps you loot the kitchen for midnight snacks.

when she looks at you, she really looks at you.

always makes sure to make you feel you have her full attention.

loyal to a fault. she will stand by you until the very end and she'll do the same with what she believes in.

you both have a soft spot for the younger black brother regulus and make it your personal mission to befriend him.

“he always looks so sad y/n, his eyes hold so much pain.. is he okay? i mean obviously not, but is he good?”

like the gryffindor she is, she finally takes up the courage and approaches him, with you at her side.

taking the right approach being slow and letting him set the pace.

you three slowly become friends, even though you have a closer connection to him than dorcas.

his smile was something remarkably extraordinary to you bc you had not seen him reveal much emotion since the very beginning.

it feels as if some deeper connection has been established now - a closer one and it made you return his smile.

right now, the world seems okay. every moment, you love and support the people close to you.

⊱ ──── ˗ˏˋ✧*♡*✧´ˎ˗ ────⊰

for the lovely @chishiyas-backstory ! 💫✨

thank you for your request. it was a genuine pleasure to write this for you!!

[thosequeenboys]

Love Is Love Is Love - Chapter 4 (Ben Hardy x Joe Mazzello)

Summary:  Ben, Joe and Alex prepare for Ben’s departure to film a movie in London, with all related emotions.

A/N: The next chapter will be cheerier, I promise, as the boys reunite - with some London surprises! Thanks to: @jessahmewren​ for your recent encouraging words that helped me reunite with my muse and work through this intense chapter!  You’re the Bee’s Knees! Thanks also to: @heybuddy-drabbles​ for ongoing support and listening to me kvetch while writing this chapter.  You’re the Cat’s Pajamas!

Warning:  This chapter has smut. I mean, the guys are about to be separated! It has an 18+ Only warning and a fire emoji on my Masterlist.  Some cursing too.

Tag List: @warriorteam1924​ @cardyandy​ @watercolouredreams​ @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​ @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​ @queensilveryrog​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @marianaletosnape​ @the-baby-bookworm​ @honeymazzello​ @igotsuckedintothevoid​ @oniriquex​ @roger-hardy-taylor​ @doctorqueensanatomy​ @chocolatekisses8​

June was the best month because summer was just starting, and it stretched out carefree before them. The spring perennials had dried into brown stalks and were now replaced with hearty hydrangeas in blue and pink hues.  The neighborhood’s evening rituals prolonged the seemingly endless days:  tonguing ice cream cones before they dripped from the evening heat, racing scooters on the sidewalk, chalk drawing on the pavement, telling jokes on the stoop.  The fragrant rose bushes arched over the iron fences that framed the small front-yard gardens.  The evening activities extended into the darkness.  Finally in bed, Alex found it hard to unwind despite Ben’s patient efforts.  Lots of chatter and three books later, he finally fell asleep.

This June would be remembered for preparations surrounding the inevitable separation. While Ben put Alex to bed, Joe ventured upstairs to the ‘extra room’ where infant clothes in plastic bins and baby paraphernalia were scattered among items they seldom used. Walking through the maze of random possessions, Joe found and hefted a large suitcase and duffle bag on wheels and carried them down the steps into their bedroom.

Ben was stretched on their bed reading a script, his long legs crossed at the ankles.  He raised his eyes at Joe’s entrance.

“I kept wishing these would magically appear, but….” Joe said, easing the luggage onto the racks he had set out.

Ben nodded and resumed reading.  

“Ben, Baby, you have to talk to him.  Start preparing him. It won’t really sink in until you’re close to leaving, but… You need to get him ready to separate from you.”  Joe said.

The phrase ‘get him ready to separate from you’ made Ben feel like he was punched in the stomach. Finally, Ben spoke. “I’ve been putting it off….I didn’t want to think about it. Just focusing on the script.  Compartmentalizing. I never thought the travel, being away, would have negative implications.  It seemed par for the course and even glamorous.  An Actor’s Life. I wasn’t thinking of a family. Now, it’s tearing me up to think of being away from him…and you.” Saying it made it real.   Images of his upcoming destiny started to come into focus: he pictured being on the outskirts of the city, working on set for grueling hours every day and then alone in his London flat at night, managing the basics-meals, laundry – under a fog of exhaustion.  It was as if he had to picture it to make himself accept it. Denial can only take you so far.

Joe climbed on the bed next to him. He could tell Ben was off in another place, anticipating the trip as he hadn’t until now. “Hey,” Joe said. “Don’t think about it tonight. Be here with me.”

Joe took the script tenderly, moving the Post-it stuck on the back to the open page.  He leaned over Ben and placed it on the side table, then opened the drawer to retrieve the lube. He kneeled in front of him, tossing the lube next to them.  He slid Ben’s t-shirt up, and with a combination of mouth and hands covered every inch starting at the waist band, pushing the garment upward to access more of that delicious, toned body.  Ben raised his arms and the t-shirt was removed and tossed as Joe straddled Ben, gliding his hands softly now over the smooth, bare chest.  “Joe…” Ben said, “Just…I want to feel you in me.” Joe pulled off his own t-shirt and removed his bottoms.  Next, Ben’s sweatpants and boxers were eased off and tossed.  Sitting back on his knees between Ben’s open legs, Joe’s strong torso arched back slightly.  It exuded a perfect combination of intensity and softness, confidence and vulnerability, as would their lovemaking.   The two naked partners eyed each other. Joe grazed Ben’s thighs, easing them apart, and the blonde closed his eyes, releasing an anticipatory moan, as Joe moved his hand to his husband’s hardening manhood. He worked it a bit as Ben gasped and thrusted to Joe’s rhythmic pulls.   Joe moved his other hand tenderly along Ben’s jawline which caused his lover’s eyes to flutter.  “Look at me, Baby.” Joe said. “I want to imprint your look – your passion and lust and love for me - into my brain.” He flipped the cap of the lube open, and Ben bent and spread his knees wider to allow full access. 

Joe rolled next to Ben and started to ease his dripping fingers into him, one at a time, feeling the resistance and grasp, followed by the release, allowing him to enter deeper.  Finally, Ben whispered, “Joe… God, feels so good.  I’m ready.”

Joe kneeled in front of Ben and pulled him toward his own hardness, which he lubricated generously.  He entered Ben slowly, propping himself on an arm, his other hand on Ben’s thigh easing it wider.  They moved so right, so easily as one, each advance joining them, sealing their love deeply.  Joe resumed stroking Ben, now fully erect, as their rhythmic thrusts quickened.  “I love you, Ben,” Joe panted.  “Love you,” Ben said.  They both moaned as they released, their smooth movements becoming jerky.  They disconnected, Joe rolling next to Ben, as they faced each other and kissed passionately.

The next morning, upon waking, Joe ran his fingers through his hair, last night a glimmer and reality looming harshly. “I need to get the apartment ready for Mariel. She’ll be here in a week.”  With Ben’s extended absence, single parenting would be challenging for Joe, especially with his Netflix consultation requiring monthly trips to LA.  The baby’s eventual arrival would add a layer of complexity. They hired Mariel, an au pair from Peru eager to come to NY, who planned to eventually study graphic design.  Her references boasted that she was a warm, loving and responsible caregiver.  While Ben knew this was a necessity, he was unsettled that their triad was vanishing. Sands would be shifting over the next year as a new normal emerged-a desired and exciting new normal, indeed. They would have to carve out a new family life with the arrival of the baby. The guys decided to hold off telling Alex about the baby until they reunited in London, figuring he could only process one big change at a time, the most imminent one needing to be addressed first.

After breakfast, Ben called Alex over and hoisted him onto his lap as Joe cleared the table, his eyes trained on the two of them.

“Hey, Buddy,  I’m going to be leaving for London in a few weeks for work.  I’ll be gone over the summer, but you and Papa will visit me in the middle, so it won’t seem like that long.  And we’ll FaceTime in between, so you can tell me all about your summer.  Alex listened.  “And, the exciting thing is you’ll have someone special to keep you company-a woman named Mariel.  She’s super nice and she can’t wait to meet you.  She’ll live in the apartment downstairs. She’ll take you to gymnastics and music, and she…”  

“ I don’t want ‘she.’” Alex said matter-of-factly.  Why would he? “I go to Lon-down. Papa too.”

“I know you don’t want someone else.  But, Papa has to work and go to LA sometimes.  I’ll be working so much and wouldn’t be able to spend time with you if you lived with me in London. So, Mariel will help take care of you.  It will take some getting used to, but I know you’ll like her.” Ben encouraged.   Alex had said his piece and didn’t see a need to prolong the discussion.  In his child-like fashion, he quickly scrambled to higher, more familiar ground. “Gymnastics.” he said, sliding off of Ben and proceeding to the foyer where he sat on the bench and waited for help with his sneakers.

“That went rather well,” Ben said eyeing Joe, not trying to cover his sarcasm. He knew this was the first of many discussions, and as the day of his departure approached, there would be more emotions all around.  For now, he packed a water bottle and some snacks and joined Alex to prepare to leave.  At the kids’ gym, Ben peered through the window in the parents’ waiting area. He gave himself permission to bask in Alex’s unrelenting joy as he raised and lowered the parachute with his mates, and ran into it when it was his turn, retreating to his spot before it fell upon him, his feet moving in time to his giggles.  Ben hoped the reality of their imminent family changes would land just as gently upon him as the parachute would have, had he not escaped its billowing descent in time.

So, it went like that leading up to the separation.  They’d mention it, Alex would listen and then deflect.  Joe, meanwhile, dealt with his own onslaught of emotions by pouring his energies into helping Mariel acclimate to their routines and home, the details of which he documented copiously.  She joined their excursions and began to get comfortable with them and dote on Alex.  Ben showed Alex images of London:  double decker buses, the London Eye, Big Ben (not named for Daddy), The Princess Diana Memorial Playground-hoping to build his enthusiasm for their reunion, while reinforcing that Ben would be in another place. Alex gradually registered the images and the impending reality.  He couldn’t ignore the clues that Ben’s departure was lurking: Ben’s sudden shopping trips to pick up last-minute items and Joe throwing items into the suitcase, packing and repacking.  Then there was the vocabulary associated with travel and separation.  The worst word, Alex decided, was ‘gone.’ It was concept he couldn’t fully wrap his head around, but it had a finality and a sadness.  He knew it meant that Daddy wouldn’t be with him.

Four days before Ben’s departure, Ben and Joe woke suddenly to loud wails. “OHMYGOD,” Ben bolted out of bed in his boxer briefs and tore down the hall to Alex’s room, where he found him sitting up in bed, tears falling off his face. “Alex, are you sick??”  Ben practically dove onto the bed and wrapped him in a hug.   Joe appeared at the doorway.  “You left and didn’t say bye-bye,” Alex said through tears.

“You had a bad dream! Of course, I’ll say good-bye and I’ll hug you…..I won’t leave without saying bye-bye. I promise,” Ben reassured.

The day before his departure, Ben brought Alex to the couch.  He took two small blue microfiber pouches from his backpack.  “I got us some things to help us look forward to seeing each other and remember our times together when we’re apart.  Want to see what I got?”  Alex nodded enthusiastically.  Ben handed him a pouch and helped him loosen the strings and open it.   Alex reached in and took out a puzzle piece.  Ben retrieved a puzzle piece from his own pouch, which he inserted into Alex’s, forming an octopus.  “When we see each other, our pieces will join.  But meanwhile, each piece is waiting for the other, just like we are waiting to see each other.”  Alex nodded. He reached into the pouch and took out a little whale statue.  Ben took out a sea turtle statue.  “We both have a sea animal.” Ben noted.  “When you come to London, we’ll go to the Aquarium!” Alex smiled.  Next up were a pair of small model airplanes. “When you visit me, you’ll get to fly on an airplane, and this one,” Ben said, retrieving his own, “will bring me home to you.”  Finally, Alex reached in and pulled out a glittery firm heart.  Ben took his out too.  “These hearts remind us that even though we’re not with each other walking or talking or laughing or playing or reading, we’re still together -- in each other’s hearts.”  Ben lined his red heart up on Alex’s chest, while he eased Alex’s hand that clutched his red heart against his own chest. They smiled.  Then, Ben put the items into their respective pouches. He leaned over and kissed Alex, who wrapped his slender arms tightly around Ben’s neck. That feeling was the most important thing he wished he could stuff into his pouch.

The final morning Joe’s eyes opened at 5:45.  They had 15 minutes before Alex usually woke up and a little over an hour until Ben’s departure. He rolled over and draped his arm over Ben, who was curled up on his side facing away from him.  Joe’s other hand stroked his blonde hair.  “Hey, pretty boy, how about a treat to start the day right,” Joe cooed in his ear.   Ben rolled toward Joe onto his back and Joe’s hands followed, draping one over his chest and the other on his forehead, fingering the blonde tresses.   He moved on top of Ben, letting his weight press into him.  Ben beamed up at him, wanting to take that feeling - the heaviness, the warmth, the familiar, perfect fit - with him.  They moved together urgently, clothed in boxer briefs, kissing as soft moans escaped.   Joe latched onto Ben’s neck, sucking him slowly, leaving fresh marks, the ones from the prior night had started to fade. Ben’s mouth found its way to Joe’s neck, leaving marks as well. Time of the essence, Joe slithered down Ben, taking Ben’s boxers with him.  

“Hey,” Ben crunched his abs with a raised head.

“Are you protesting?” Joe asked.  

“No, I mean, What time is it?? Alex will be getting up….” Ben glanced sideways at the clock.  

“I’ll make it quick. Lie back. I want you to leave you with a memory of me, showing you that I love you.”  Joe took in Ben eagerly, with focus and passion.

“Oh. God. Fuck. Joe.” Ben’s voice was low, and steady, his hips rising slightly in time to his quickening heartbeat.  “Yeah, like that. Fuck. Harder,” he directed. His clipped exhales were punctuated with a rhythmic chant, “Joe. God. Harder. Joe…” Ben felt himself so close to release, his hands tugging on Joe’s auburn locks, when the unmistakable voice called out.

“Daddy? Are you leaving?” It was a sad question, with a known answer.

Joe detached himself from a heavily panting and pink Ben, who held his breath to stop making any noise, his heart beating into his throat, his stomach in a tight curl. After a deep breath, Joe uttered firmly, “Alex, we need a few minutes to get up. Go downstairs and play.  We’ll meet you soon..”

“Ok,” the soft voice padded away.

Joe glanced at Ben eager to finish him.  “I can’t, he needs me….I won’t be able to…” Ben said breathlessly, his head raised.

“You can and you will, if I have anything to do with it.” Joe said.  He wanted to please Ben and have a few more moments of intimacy, delaying the inevitable. Joe knew it was time to pull out the big guns. “I want you to come for me, with my lips wrapped around you…sucking you hard, taking all of you in.  I’ll look up at you as you thrust into me, and release into me, looking so beautiful. Can you do that for me?” He didn’t wait for an answer. Ben crashed his head into the pillow, aroused again, and Joe resumed his skillful pleasuring.  He added a gentle massage of Ben’s balls, causing Ben to resume his chant between moans. Ben came, Joe’s name on his tongue as the gestures slowed, and a final kiss was granted.

“Mission accomplished.” Joe smirked, easing next to his husband.

“God, you’re amazing.” Ben said panting. Then turning to Joe, he asked, “Do you think he heard? You know, when he was outside the door?”

“Heard you cursing?  Moaning? Telling me how to get you off? Chanting my name?  Probably. Look, he’s good in math.  Eventually he’ll figure out that you cursing PLUS you moaning my name over and over TIMES you sounding slightly bossy EQUALS you having an extra spring in your step.” Joe smiled, very proud of the audible results of his handiwork.

Ben looked horrified.

Joe winked. “Don’t worry-at this age, Nah.”  He switched gears.  “I’ll duck into the bathroom quickly and then go downstairs.”  

“Joe,”  Ben said.  “I can…”

“You don’t have to….I have last night as my go-to.” A vision of their prior evening’s passion that started in the shower and ended in bed flashed before Joe’s eyes. “I wanted to give you something special to remember me when you’re away.” Joe whispered.  

“You’re imprinted in me.  All of you.  I love you so mu…” Ben stopped, overcome with emotion.  He swallowed. “We better get moving. I’ll take a quick shower.”

Joe’s hand reached for Ben’s jaw and a kiss enveloped his beautiful full lips.

There wasn’t much talking over breakfast, each of them consumed by their own emotions.  Alex ran a small car back and forth on the table, the movement distracting and soothing him.  Ben kissed his head before he made a final trip upstairs to finish his ablutions and pack a few final things.  He returned with a backpack slung over his shoulder, maneuvering the heavy suitcase. “I better call the Uber,” he said, moving the luggage to join the full duffle bag, already by the door.  Joe wiped the counter with a sponge, yet again, trying to distract himself from his own emotional onslaught.

Ben went over to Alex and sat down.  “Hey, Buddy, come here.” he tapped his knee.  Alex came over and Ben picked him up under his arms. He brought him back against his chest and wrapped his arms around him.  “I have my blue pouch in my backpack, so I’ll always have it close by. You have yours on your bedside table, yeah?”  Alex nodded; his distress evident.  

“Good.  I’ll miss you and I’ll think of you every day.  We’ll FaceTime…”  Ben’s phone lit up.  The Uber was two minutes away.

Joe sidled behind Ben’s chair and rubbed his back as he stood up, easing Alex off his lap. They walked to the entry foyer and Joe took the suitcase down the stoop.  Ben grasped the backpack and duffle bag and Alex’s hand. The car pulled up just as they arrived on the sidewalk.  The driver loaded the luggage and opened the passenger door.  The three boys hugged.  

“Text me when you land,” Joe said.  

Ben nodded and then kneeled bringing Alex in for a final hug and “I love you.” Rising he brought Joe into a hug and kiss. They both uttered “I love you,” at the same time. They chuckled, and Ben peeled away.  He eased into the car and shut the door.  Joe and Alex waved to Ben who turned around and waved out the back window. 

Joe stood behind Alex and placed his arms on his shoulders. “C’mon, Babe. Let’s get ready for playgroup.  Now we’ll start counting the days until we see Dad again in London.”  Alex nodded.  He placed his hand on his chest, soothing the emotions that collected there, causing a metaphorical ache.  He didn’t need any words or pictures.  He now understood the meaning of ‘gone.’

[atruththatyoudeny]

MONTHLY READS | June

Thank you so much to all the amazing authors for sharing your stories with us! »Top 5 stories + 7 more under the cut «

Heading for Limbo

by FullOnLarrie | friends to lovers | friends with benefits | sexuality crisis | 100k Childhood best friends who’ve fallen in and out of touch with each other since Louis’ family moved away when they were thirteen, Harry and Louis find their paths crossing again and again. Each time, no matter how many miles apart or how many years it’s been, it’s as if no time has passed. They fall back into their easy friendship, until life intervenes and sends them on their separate ways once more. When Harry discovers some life-changing things about himself, Louis is there for him, however he needs. But it’s all temporary because Louis has plans that will move his life from New York all the way to L.A. and the distance isn’t the only thing between them. The pieces of their twice broken hearts are scattered from the Atlantic to the Pacific.

Red hands

by reveries_passions for One Direction Big Bang Round 1 | post-war | angst | World War III | enemies to lovers | slow burn | minor character death | injury | guns | violence | mentions of sexual assault | homophobia | PTSD | panic attacks | vague elements of torture | major character injury | 128k “I’ve never told anyone,” Harry murmurs, voice so soft no one else would be able to hear, if it wasn’t just the two of them. “But you’ve told someone,” Louis tells him firmly. “And that’s not gonna fucking happen around here. You don’t speak a word of it, or someone’s going to kill you, and we can’t let that happen.” * A dystopian au in which harry, an ex-soldier who’s escaped from his government run camp, accidentally stumbles across the biggest rebel movement in the country, and louis, one of the rebellion’s mysterious leaders who appears to hate him, seems to simultaneously have an obsession with keeping him alive. or: harry is wanted for treason, niall hasn’t changed in four years, liam is always smiling, and louis is angry. like, really angry.

To Carry Love

by lovelarry10 & wander723 | Part of the The Mason-Verse series | mpreg | fluff | childbirth | parenthood | 21k Picking up a few years after Piece by Piece, we catch up with the Tomlinson-Styles as they celebrate the arrival of Liam's first child, and make a few choices of their own...

Evocatio

by lapoesieestdanslarue | fluff | 13k Evocatio; a latin word, referring to the method of how an army would try to tempt out a god or goddess from a city in order to ransack it. or; Louis is torn between the dead-end life he'd had in Doncaster and left long ago, and his new life in London. Mostly he's just confused by and halfway in love with the farmer that has long hair and green eyes.

Accidentally On My Way To Loving You

by larrymylove | partying | mistaken identity | Ping-Pong | banter | 5k “So,” H said, “Who are you.” Louis froze. The fork nearly slipped from his hand. So this was it then. The jig was up. Louis would have to admit that he’d stumbled into the wrong party and that, after seeing H, hadn’t wanted to leave. Louis would be kicked out, never to see H again. And who could blame him. He sounded like a total creeper. If the roles had been reversed....Louis wouldn’t blame H for never wanting anything to do with him ever again. Louis arrives at the wrong party, and finds he never wants to leave.

Cool Cats

by Anonymous for Marcel Fic Exchange | hybrids | light angst | fluff | humour | 16k There’s a gorgeous boy sitting there, staring at him. His hair is longish, tucked back by a cloth headband, his eyes are a brilliant blue that make Marcel question if he’s ever actually seen real blue before or just cheap imitations of it. And his lips, thin and pink, are just slightly open, almost as though they’re inviting Marcel’s kiss. “Oh,” the boy breathes in surprise and the tone is enough to wake Marcel from his momentary stupor. He realizes that the boy is staring at his ears and suddenly kisses are the furthest thing from Marcel’s mind. Marcel exhales harshly and pulls out his chair, sinking into it and crossing his arms over his chest. He lifts his chin defiantly. “Alright, let’s have it.” “Have… what?” The boy asks wide-eyed and, fuck, even his voice is beautiful. It’s got this delightful rasp to it that makes Marcel wanna purr. “Whatever jokes or insults you’re gonna say. Let’s just get them over with now and out of the way,” Marcel says. The blue-eyed cutie just sits there, staring. Or Sometimes, Marcel can have nice things.

Learning to Eat

by photo41 | chefs | 28k Celebrity chef Louis Tomlinson has a problem. He’s opening his first restaurant in 9 weeks, and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s ‘standoffish’ and ‘rude’ and ‘quick to temper’. Whatever. He ends up saddled with an annoying, happy-go lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. His tv presenter and pop star best friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting Julia Child?! Kitchen AU where Harry helps Louis re-learn how to eat. (METAPHORICALLY)

Delight in Masques

by kassio for One Direction Big Bang Round 1 | urban fantasy | magic | shapeshifting | fae & fairies | 27k Popstar Louis Tomlinson has been pulling one over on the mortals for years. In the five years since he put on a human illusion and tried out for the X Factor, none of them have realised that he’s one of the Fair Folk – a cat shapeshifter, to be precise – and he’d like to keep it that way. When he returns to the X Factor as a guest judge, the last thing he expects is for some half-Siren fool to use magic on the judges. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what Harry Styles does. Now Louis has to track down some rogue changeling before he exposes them all. Even worse? Apparently, Harry doesn’t even know what he is. (An urban fantasy adventure, set in the world of - but not crossing over with - the October Daye book series. No need to be familiar with those books; I just want to give credit where it's due on a lot of the worldbuilding.)

London is well worth a mass

by dolphinaaaa | a/b/o | royalty | arranged marriage | 93k Louis is an Omega prince of France. When he is 13, he is betrothed to Harry of England for politics. The wedding will seal the alliance between the two coutries. This is their story.

No Harm, No Fowl

by rainbowslovehl | bad puns | fluff | 6k “He’s here again,” Louis hissed at Niall, his co-worker who was scraping chips into a paper tray and on top of the fish. The guy passing by was distracting but according to Niall, he wasn’t an unusual sight for him. But he could indulge Louis, at least. “He’s just walked past the shop for the second time, probably on his second lap of the neighbourhood. What do you think he wants? What does it mean?” “He’s looking for his lost farm?” Niall supplied before sniggering at his own joke, handing over the order. “Don’t make that face and just stop obsessing over him. He’s just a guy.” Louis finds himself obsessed with figuring out why Harry roams around the neighbourhood in a blue robe. Featuring Geraldine the hen, bad bird puns and too much ketchup.

Until You Remember

by Throwthemflowers | amnesia | mythic elements | 21k Harry lowered his head a moment, then whispered, “It hurts, Lou. If you kissed me, it wouldn’t hurt so much.” Louis set his mug down with a clink on the coffee table. “What wouldn’t hurt so much?” Harry closed his eyes. “I don’t know.” “Fooking bloody hell…” Louis cursed under his breath as he brought his hands to his face and rubbed roughly over his cheekbones. “Harry, do you know what… what…” “What is wrong with me?” Harry finished in a soft, small voice. Louis’s heart dissolved into a mass of pulsing shame. He pulled the man to him and gently pressed his lips to Harry’s forehead. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Harry. You’re kind and sweet and good, and I don’t understand you at all, and I don’t know if I ever will, but there’s nothing wrong with you, darling. Nothing at all.” Louis breathed in his scent, swallowing hard. --Talented London pianist Louis Tomlinson moves to a small coastal town to escape the elites of his job and the mundanity of his life. Through the music of Debussy he finds a charming, wonderful friend in Harry Styles, the fiancé of the town's mayor. Louis thinks his pining is in vain until he discovers that all may not be as it seems....

I See the Ice in His Smile

by photo41 for HL Summer Exchange 2015 | hockey | figure skating | homophobia | 22k In which Louis is on the verge of becoming a professional hockey player, while Harry, (a figure skater who is way above this, thanks) just got roped into being the team's new mascot- leading to flirting, skating showdowns, hockey brawls, misunderstandings, and of course- ice, ice baby.

[cocoarosalia]

Searingly Sweet (Marichat/Adrienette)

What do you do when one of paris’ most superlatively handsome heros comes knocking on your balcony door? You would panic first, right? Like, what does he want; why is he here; should I prepare something? Any and all those thoughts might run through your head I’m guessing. But what does Marinette Dupain-Cheng do when a certain leather-clad feline comes a knocking?

She gets pissed...cause duh, right?

And it wasn’t even like she was pissed at him exactly. It was more just that he happened to appear at the apex of her shitty day. Every single client the 23 year old had that afternoon was completely and utterly shitty human beings. And she gets it, a lot of schools in the area were picking up the american custom of having end of the year dances, for socializing and shit. But if she had to hear another shitty 17 year old complain about how the applique on her dress doesn’t absolutely “shimmer” in the moonlight and how the dress doesn’t make her ASS look like that american rapper Nicki Minaj’s (Which by the way if you’re gonna use french in your stage name PICK A REAL FRENCH WORD). She was ACTUALLY going to cut someone.

So it wasn’t his fault that he happened to knock on the balcony door to her apartment. Also wasn’t his fault that she happened to be in the middle of her 3rd alteration of the SAME dress at the time. But that didn’t stop her from viciously slamming open her door, rage blazing in her eyes.

“WHAT?” She roared

Her attitude instantly vanished, however, as Chat Noir collapsed into her arms. She grabbed onto his waist to keep him upright but his harsh hiss kept her hands at bay. She felt a wetness on her hand, it wasn’t raining out so it couldn’t be good. She looked down and sure enough Chat had contracted a sizeable cut above his hip and in different places along his torso.

“Holy shit!” was all she could really comment “Adrien, what happened!?”

They had long since found out each other’s identity. 21st birthdays mixed with intimate truth or dare and too many margaritas will do that kind of thing to you. But the lucky part was that nothing ever really changed for them. If anything, it made their civilian lives that much easier. Now, if anything went wrong they knew exactly where to go for safety.

Guess this was one of those times huh?

“Mari” Chat groaned out pitifully, body slumped over her petite frame

She didn’t allow him to say anything else as she carefully helped him onto the couch. She laid him down gently and rushed to get a bowl and some cool water. Returning back he didn’t look too good, hair matted from sweat and eyes squeezed shut in pain. She gingerly picked up his head and laid it in her lap. She pressed the wet cloth to his biggest cut and pressed down, shushing him softly to soothe his pain.

She looked into his eyes for an explanation “What happened? Was it a really bad akuma?”. Her heart only sank as he remained silent.

“Oh god it was, wasn’t it? Fuck, if I wasn’t so swamped with work I could’ve been there for you. You wouldn’t be like this. Adrien I’m so sorry” He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek. A gentle smile graced his features and she felt like bursting into tears that very moment.

“Please don’t cry, Mari” He said, his voice warmer than a summer’s breeze “I didn’t lose to an akuma. Just to a very old cat and a very sturdy tree.”

At first it didn’t click, she was far too wrapped up in her guilt ridden emotions. But then, ever so slowly, the words sunk in further and further

“Could you say that again for me please?” She said a little too sweetly “I just want to make sure I heard you correctly”

“Oh! I just said that these cuts are from me saving a pretty old cat from a tree” He scratched his head bashfully “old beast was not too appreciative and scratched me up pretty good and the tree kinda finished the job”

She stood up abruptly, knocking chat off the couch and onto the floor.

“Noooo” Chat whined as she stormed off “Don’t leave me here to perish in the cold!”

A blanket, quite unceremoniously, pelted him in the face “BUNDLE UP BITCH”

“Someone’s got their chiffon in a knot” He pouted “what? You missed your monthly ‘designer’s digest’ issue?”

Marinette sat back on the couch wordlessly, only speaking to ask him to drop his transformation so she could patch him up. Her speech was so...professional that he dropped it immediately, worried that he might’ve pushed her buttons a little too hard.

“Hey Mari, you know I was only kidding right?” this silent treatment was a bit of a first for him, he hadn’t meant to offend her, only poke at her a little “I didn’t mean all that stuff I said. I really am sorry”

He tried putting on his best sad face, nudging his head into her in the hopes that it’d melt her heart enough to forgive him. She sighed and put his head back into her lap.

“I’m not mad chat.” She said, preparing a disinfectant cloth “there’d be no point in that”

He breathed a sigh of relief, he wasn’t totally convinced but at least she wasn’t gonna kick him out of the house

“That being said, you tear up the shirt I made you. Sooooo, you deserve this entirely”

Adrien’s eyes shot open wide as a stinging, searing pain shot through his whole side. He moved to shoot up in his seat but, surprisingly, Marinette was pretty strong and held him down, giggling the entire time. A disinfectant cloth slapped to the cut would teach him a lesson or two

“OH MY GOD THAT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD” he howled out

“I know right? You must be so sorry for playing with my emotions and tearing up that shirt aren’t you?”

“I WAS ATTACKED!?!? GET THIS SHIT OFF ME!”

“That’s interesting cause, see, that doesn’t sound like an ‘I’m sorry’ to me”

“YOU ARE SADISTIC”

“And you’re still screaming. I do have neighbors you know”

Adrien gritted his teeth as he tried to bear the burning sensation traveling all through his body “I’m sorry for tearing up the shirt and playing with your emotions even though I did nothing of the sort”

She pressed down on the cut harder

“I’M SORRY I’M SORRY YOU’RE RIGHT ENTIRELY MY FAULT. PLEASE SWEET MERCIFUL CHRIST LET GO!”

She took pity on his poor soul and finally released him. He rolled back onto the floor and scattered away behind her curtains

“I COULD HAVE DIED YOU PSYCHO”

Marinette was hardly perturbed “1.) I checked the bottle before-hand it was gonna sting regardless of what I did and 2.) you still have like 8 more lives, you’re fine”

Adrien was now in full pout mode “I’m not an actual cat you know. The american phrase ‘YOLO’ does actually apply to me”

“You’re so dramatic” she laughed. Scooting over on the furthest side of the couch, she stretched out her arms to lure him back to the sofa. He turned from her, refusing to even acknowledge her offer.

“Oh come on, kitty. I still have to wrap up your other cuts before they get infected”

He wrapped the curtains further up on his body “Better than dying from the shock of the pain!”

She rolled her eyes “I promise I’ll be gentler this time. And, I’ll make sure to tell you when the sting is coming”

He eyed her cautiously, coming out from behind the curtains and inching closer “I want free cuddles the rest of the night”

She sighed “fine, whatever you want”. It was like telling him he’d won the lotto, his perfect white teeth gleaming in a cheshire like grin. Adrien tossed himself on the couch, instantly slipping up her body and snuggling closely to her chest.

“You are so unbelievably spoiled you know”

“You know I think I can still feel the pain of the disinfectant. I wonder why?”

She laughed warmly and let him stay there for a while.

There was no way to really describe the relationship they had. On the one hand they were definitely friends; they had the occasional coffee meet-up with Alya and Nino, popped in on one another if they had a bad day and, duh, saved one another from certain death every now and again. They could go out and see other people, sure, but then they did things like this. Cuddle times where they just stayed silent and share body heat, sleeping in the same bed because one couldn’t be bothered to stay up enough to make the trek home, and even spending whole weekends just vegging out at home watching Totally Spies reruns on TV. It was a weird set up but if you asked Marinette if she would change anything, not a single second would be unmissed.

“Ok mon minou, let’s get you patched up before I have to clean your blood off my couch...again”

He begrudgingly agreed and left her warm hold, sitting with legs crossed and patiently awaited her medical care. She returned back with her famous “Chat almost died today” first aid kit and something thin and white sticking out from between her lips. It caught the blonde’s attention and his feline instincts began to flare up again. Nevertheless, he sat still,only moving to remove his shirt and give her space to wrap his body in bandages.

“There, all done” She said, ever so slightly proud of her work “You were a very good patient this time around kitty. Usually you’re so squirmish”

Even as she scritched his favorite spot behind his ear adrien still couldn’t get his mind off of whatever was occupying his lady’s mouth

“Uh Adrien? You ok?” She said waving a hand in front of his eyes. He blinked back to reality and smiled apologetically

“Sorry Mari guess I’m a little distracted” He laughed nervously. She shrugged it off as no big deal and left to warm up some leftovers for him.

Adrien watched her with childlike curiosity, he didn’t wanna be a real bother to her but it killed him not knowing what it was that was in her mouth. Even still, he hesitated on bringing it up, choosing instead to stuff his face with honey mustard glazed chicken and pasta.

It was maybe 20 minutes into their third episode when Adrien just stretched himself out flat onto her lap. She remarked on his keen ability to make “make himself at home” but it only went in one ear and out another as he watched her cheek poke out with the offending object.

He poked it

She switched it to the other side

He poked it again

She sat it in the middle while looking at him with a strange look on her face

He didn’t even notice as his long fingers kept poking around her face, expecting to flush it out from behind her lips

“Adrien!” She commanded, swatting his hands away “Will you please stop tha-”

“My lady, what is in your mouth?”

The question came out so abruptly that it caught her completely by surprise. She blinked confusedly at him. There was not a hint of joking attitude in his eyes so she took it out.

“It’s just a lollipop. See?” she placed it back over her tongue, sucking on it hard “Nothing special. Cherry flavor I think”

Adrien didn’t exactly know what to feel. Yes, he got the answer he’d been looking for but, at the same time, a cherry lollipop? Really?

“Why didn’t you say you got one?” He fussed

“Why do you care? Kitty, it’s just candy”

He didn’t really have a witty retort to that so he kept silent, rolling over in her lap and facing the TV. Marinette assumed he’d finally gave up so she settled back in her seat.

“I want one”

She groaned, rubbing her temples soothingly

“No, Kitty you may not have one”

Adrien poked out his bottom lip “Why not, you have one”

“Ok, And?”

“Where do you keep them?”

“If I told you that it wouldn’t be a secret stash would it?”

He almost took offense to that “Why would you keep it a secret from me? Do you not trust me?”

“To not eat all my candy without me knowing? No”

“I’d replace it”

“Adrien the last time you ‘replaced’ my candy stash it ended up being more expensive than my rent”

He pulled her into a face squishing hug “Maaari let me have one”

She struggled to push away him away, he was stupidly strong when he wants something “No dammit let me go!”

Adrien finally released her and suddenly stood up. If she didn’t know any better she would’ve assumed that she got the hint. But, sadly, she did and, without remorse, glared him down.

“Chaton, don’t you fucking dare”

He shot out of the living room and into the bedroom down the hall. She chased after him, knowing exactly where he was going and for what. Just as she suspected, Adrien was making quick work of her room, sifting between the sheets and crawling beneath the bed.

“Quit it you fucking sugar addict!”

“Let me have my fix and I will!”

“No!”

“Then the hunt continues!”

Her room was becoming an utter mess. Clothes were being tossed everywhere, it was like a horror movie. She forced him into a corner to maybe try and talk things out somewhat civilly but the blonde bastard just carefully scooped her up and tossed her onto the bed, breaking out from the corner to just fuck up her room even more.

They were on the floor now, huffing and wheezing as they tried to catch their breath. Adrien looked everywhere, the sheets, under the bed, in the closet. He even took the ultimate risk and went through her drawers (The kick to his gut proved that that wasn’t too good of an idea). But still no sweets for a little blonde boy named Adrien

“Please tell me you quit” She huffed out

“It’s not fair” he whined “all I wanted was something sweet”

“I just fed you”

“Dessert is an important part of every meal”

He clambered up onto his feet and stumbled back, knocking into the wall behind him. There was a clamor from the top of Marinette’s closet. She prayed that he didn’t hear it….it was a stupid prayer let’s be real here.

“Hey Marinette”

“Yes Adrien”

“What’s in your closet”

“You looked in there yourself...nothing”

She didn’t dare move from the floor as he stared her down

“If I go over there right this very second, you’re not gonna move”

“I see no reason to do so”

The millisecond he moved toward that closet door she raced in between him and the doorway. A dark smile stretched across his lips. He moved in close and she could hear his heartbeat in her ears. He leaned down, his breath tickling her ears.

His voice made her knees weak “It’s in there, isn’t it my lady”

She sucked on her cherry blowpop harder and harder as she shook her head vigorously

“Then what did I hear in the closet. If it’s not what I’m looking for then what’s there to worry about?”

Her eyes looked everywhere but his own vibrant green ones. He knew what that tone of voice did to her and did it anyway.

Adrien snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her away from the door. His stares were so paralyzing she couldn’t say that she even noticed. They walked over to the bed and gently pushed her onto its soft sheets. He climbed atop of her, smoothing his hands across her skin

“Be a good girl and stay here, ok?”

This man could’ve told her to commit murder and all she’d need was a spoon and a name

He moved back over to the closet and rooted around its dark shelves. Eventually he noticed that the side wall was uneven. Sure enough, when he pressed down on it the panel fell away to a secret hole in the wall, complete with its own neatly painted shoe box.

“Hello my sweet”

He was a kitten on christmas coming out from that closet. Pressed close to his chest the box clearly said ‘Keep out, especially you kitty!” but he couldn’t care less, soon he would indulge himself in a sugar sweet paradise.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, THIEF”

Or at least he would if she didn’t break out of her lust induced trance

He bolted out of the room, eyes darting left and right for any kind of hiding space. Alas, it was no use. Marinette had him stuck in the kitchen corner with nowhere left to run. She took a cautious step toward him and he grabbed the first thing he could, a deluxe chocolate bar that she’d been saving for a super shitty day

Much like this one actually

“S-stop! Kitty, just leave the box on the counter”

“Fine! I’ll just take the chocolate bar then”

“THE CHOCOLATE BAR TOO!”

He tore off the label, never once taking his eyes off hers

“Put it. Down”

A corner of the aluminum wrapping hit the floor and her mind went into a blind panic. He was really gonna eat it if she didn’t come up with something!

He opened his mouth comically wide and brought it to his teeth

‘ThinkThinkThinkThinkThink!’

And as he brought his teeth closer together for bite she decided that she had no choice

Marinette ripped the candy from her mouth and pressed her body roughly against his, grabbing a fistful of his hair and bringing their lips together.

That alone would be seared into his subconscious for the rest of his life but what followed would follow him for as long as time stood.

Cherries, the syrupy sweet taste of artificial cherries flooded his tastebuds as her tongue slipped between his lips and into every corner of his mouth. His mind couldn’t take it to the point where he just dropped the box in his hands altogether, grabbing tightly onto her hips and savoring the flavor as much as he could.

But as soon as it started, it ended. She backed away from him, face redder than the candy in her hand.

“Never touch my stash again”

He tried to speak but she shoved the red sucker into his cheeks

“And I’m sure you’ve probably earned that”

She gathered up her box and walked out the kitchen, grumbling something about ‘Stupid cats’ and ‘putting it in a safe next time’

Adrien’s favorite flavor used to be chocolate

He was fairly certain that’s not the case anymore.

[arthurtristankingsmen]

Off the Bat

providentially-demonic submitted:

A short Harry Potter/MSA AU for you!

They had pooled their money, counting Galleons and Knuts and Sickles to be sure they had enough, though Lewis had assured her that if they came up short, his folks would be more than willing to help out. Vivi was determined they could afford it on their own. Arthur deserved the very best and if she had to shell out every single bronze Knut she had, she would get it for him, she’d declared defiantly.

It had taken some time to get away from Lewis’s parents, the Pepper’s considering the three of them under their guardianship during the shopping trip to Nation Alley, just off of the Bloody Angle, through the back wall of an old Chinese Laundry. It was Vivi’s third trip, Lewis’s second and Arthur’s first. Arthur had been unnerved and had clung to the back of Lewis’s shirt until Mama had taken his hand, leading him through the wall of moving machinery into the wonders of Nation Alley. America had all sorts of immigrants, not all of them of the muggle kind, evidenced by the centaur in a plaid shirt with a handcart, selling enchanted arrows. His thick greek accent stood out clearly over the babble. Brightly colored pigeons darted back and forth between buildings, like feathery fireworks. A witch on a battered Nimbus was trying to get a mangy tabby off of an awning, cursing in something that sounded like Chinese. A woman whose outfit seemed to consist of nothing but layers of colorful scarves that moved in an unseen wind held court at a sidewalk cafe table, attended by dozens of varied Kneazles, who watched everyone with intelligent eyes.

Arthur stayed attached Lewis’s mother, taking in everything but saying nothing, his amber eyes wide as saucers. Their first stop had been for new robes, Arthur’s old ones far too short and shabby now, and the old ones of Lewis’s getting shorter. Arthur was hitting a growth spurt and was already several inches taller than Lewis, and Mama had insisted with the winter quarter coming up, he needed ones that actually reached his ankles.

While he was being measured by the fussy seamstress and her assistant who looked suspiciously like a Brownie, Vivi had pulled Lewis away and they had snuck out of the shop. Vivi had unerringly lead the way to a brightly painted shop with a elegant sign depicting a white owl perched on the horn of a dainty unicorn. “Flit’s Fair Familiars” scrolled in looping letters under the hooves of the unicorn.

Lewis looked dubiously at the sign… “Can Unicorns be familiars?”

Vivi elbowed him sharply. “Does it matter?” She headed for the door.

Lewis followed her, but not without one last sideways look at the sign. “Kinda, yeah?”

Vivi rolled her eyes. “Hurry up. We don’t have much time before they notice we’re gone.”

“Can I get some owl treats while we’re here?”

Vivi pulled him away from the rack and past a basket of humming puffskeins. “Depends on how much this will cost first.”

Lewis followed her tugs to a darkened corner of the store, where she peered at a cluster of brown bats hanging from a rafter.

Lewis squinted. In all honesty, he didn’t think they looked anywhere near as cute as Page had, but he agreed with Vivi, Arthur needed a familiar, and one with a longer life expectancy than a rat. He’d wanted to get an owl, like his sweet little Poblano, but Vivi had pointed out that with his propensity for rats, mice and other rodentia, Arthur would not care much for a creature that made meals of them. Lewis frowned and backed up a step, hoping a change in perspective would make them look somehow more appealing.

He bumped into something solid and warm. “Now, what would the two a’you be doin’ in here without a keeper, eh?”

Vivi yipped and jumped a foot in the air. She whirled. “Professor Calder!”

Professor Calder regarded them both down the length of his nose. He’d forgone his robes and was dressed in a charcoal-gray cable-knit sweater over blue jeans, His black dress shoes contrasted sharply with the casual look of his attire. His long black hair was pulled back in a neat queue, unlike the usual braid. He tipped his head to one side, the corner of his mouth pulling down in a frown. “Well, I’m waitin’ for an answer.”

Lewis bit his lip, trying not to shrink back behind Vivi. He really didn’t want to get in trouble with Mama. and he just knew the Professor would remember this when classes started after break. “Um, I— um— I need— needed s-some owl treats f-for Poblano,” he stammered uncomfortably.

Vivi sighed and reached back to thump his shoulder. “You can’t lie for beans, Lew.” She squared her shoulders and looked up at the much taller man, meeting his green eyes squarely. “We want to buy a new familiar for Arthur. He’s been really down since— since Page died.”

Calder’s stern expression softened. Arthur had holed up in the classroom several times after the rat’s death, despondent, and Calder had helped the three of them chose a final resting place for the much-beloved creature, helping a crying Arthur make a headstone for the makeshift gravesite. “Ah. Dontcha think Arthur should have some say in this?”

Lewis started to nod, but Vivi shook her head fiercely. “No. It has to be a surprise, because if he tries to help us choose, he’ll start thinking of Page again and be sad. I want him to be happy again. And it has to be something that lives a lot longer than a rat. I can’t see him go through this again in just a few years.” She looked defiant, but her hands were shaking. She knew how much trouble they would be in if Calder took it upon himself to take them back the Pepper’s.

Calder’s shrewd gaze slid over the cluster of bats in their roost. “You were thinkin’ a bat then? Knowin’ the lad’s got a soft spot the size of an ocean for squeakers.” He reached up and scratched one of the tiny bats under the chin.

Vivi’s shoulders relaxed and she heaved a sigh. “I read up on them, They live between twenty and thirty years in the wild, and wizard-breds always live longer than no-maj kinds. And they look cute, which he’d like.”

Calder laughed, a rolling sound of amusement, startling the bat he was petting. “Clever Vivi, always readin’ up. Careful, lass, if you’re not careful, folks’ll start thinkin’ you’re in the wrong house.”

He glanced over his shoulder at the proprietor, “Bundle my order, then, there’s a love, Aislin—  and have it sent on up to the school. Charge my classroom account and keep a couple o’sickle’s back for each of the courier owls. They’ll ha’e earned it.” He waved at the young woman behind the counter and turned to the door. “You two come with me.”

The two students warily followed him across the cobbled street to Porlock’s Potables, a wooden building that smelled of fresh hay. He grinned at the serving girl and ordered two warmed butterbeers and “A glass of the usual, love.”

He ushered Vivi and Lewis into a booth in the back corner and sat across from them. “So you were thinkin’ a bat— did you have any ideas on what kind?

Lewis hunched his shoulders and cupped his hands around the warmed mug the serving girl set in front of him. “Something big and clever. It need to be to carry things.”

“An’ t’stay safe from the school owls, eh? Good thought, lad.” Calder tossed back his glass of something dark and potent-smelling before pulling a small mirror from his back pocket. “I might be able to help with that. Ptero, answer your mirror, wouldya?”

A lean, tanned face appeared in the mirror, large glasses giving brown eyes an owlish look. “Ello, mate. What ya needing today? I just—”

Calder laughed and waved a hand. “Nothin’ for me, friend, but I ha’e a couple of friends here lookin’ for a bat for their friend. Needs to be fairly large, so the owls hereabouts don’t think lunch. Any recommendations?”

“Course! I have some flying foxes I been breeding for the local nightwatch witches, lovelies one and all, and I ain’t just talking about the bats.” The face on the mirror offered a broad wink.

“Spare me talk of that. You think one of them might do?”

“Oh, better even. My roosts are smart as whips and clever as Kneazles with their wing-claws. I got a couple rares that the watch canna use. Too noticeable-like and easy as one-two-three to spot on a dark night, so’s the witches can’t use them.”

“Rares? There somethin’ wrong with ‘em, Ptero?” Calder leaned forward, his easygoing smile slipping away. “You wouldna be tryin’ to pawn a sick beastie off on me students, wouldya?”

Ptero paled under his tan. “No, all my roosts are healthy as can be. I have them checked monthly by the local wizarding council. No, I got me a couple of piebalds. One of my roosts threw a couple of pups with leucism. Whiter than white with black mottling. Smart as or smarter than their roostmates and in good health, I swear, just too easily seen for nightwatch. But that wouldn’t be a bit of a problem for a student, now would it?”

“Can we see one?” Vivi demanded, up on her knees in the booth so she could see the mirror.

Ptero nodded and stepped out of range of the mirror, though his voice still came through. “Here now, spotty-gal, might have a place for you after all.”

He came back into sight with a bat the size of a small cat clinging to his shoulder. He hadn’t lied, it was mostly white with black patches on its thin wings and a small patch like a cap on its white head. It had bright intelligent eyes and squeaked softly at them through the mirror. “She’ll be getting a bit bigger, she’s not quite weaned yet.” Ptero added, scratching the white chin inil the bat went all but cross-eyed with bliss.

Vivi was instantly in love, Lewis could tell by her expression. “She’s perfect. How much?”

Ptero looked crafty for a moment until Calder cleared his throat. “Um, for you nine Galleons and seven Sickles; that’s at cost. Course there’s still the matter of getting her from here to there. Shipping costs, even by floo network.”

Before Vivi could look sick at that, Calder waved a hand. “I’ll worry about transport for her.”

Lewis spilled out their money pouch and was counting out coins with care, one at a time. It took nearly everything they had managed to save, but they had enough.

Calder watched him count and nodded to Ptero. “We’ll be takin’ her then. I’ll contact you with details later.” He tapped the frame of the mirror and it went dark.

Vivi squealed and hugged Lewis and then, to Professor Calder’s surprise, attacked him with a hug as well. He tossed his head up like a startled horse but warily patted her on the back.

“Alright, then. You two should be gettin’ back. I’ll send an owl with pick-up details. I should like to be there when you give her to the lad, though.”

Lewis nodded and handed him the money before grabbing Vivi’s hand and hauling out of there. He hoped Mama hadn’t missed them yet!

“Lewis Pepper!”

Oh no.

[amazingstories]

#gallery-0-5 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-5 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Analog

Apex

Asimov’s

Aurealis

Beneath Ceaseless Skies

Black Static

Clarkesworld

Fantasy & Science Fiction

Forever

Galaxy’s Edge

Interzone

Lightspeed

Perehelion

Strange Horizons

Uncanny

          Current Issues is an occasional feature (mostly monthly) that provides a round up of the content of periodical SF, fantasy and horror.

Periodical logos link directly to that publication’s website. Active links within the body of the text link to the story or article in question (there’s an awful lot of ‘free’ stuff out there).

We will tend to feature the paying markets here, but are more than happy to include additional publications that are offering fiction in our fields; if you would like your publication included here, please contact us directly.

Fiction Wither And Blossom | Oka Ja Kukinto By: Suvi Kauppila I have outlived my parents and my little brother. My memory isn’t what it used to be.

Oka Ja Kukinto | Wither And Blossom By: Suvi Kauppila Olen saatellut lepoon vanhempani ja pikkuveljeni. Muistini ei ole enää entisensä.

Faces and Thoughts | څېرې او اندېښنې By: Abdul wakil Sulamal Translated by: James Caron He had commissioned one of those mansions that people have nowadays, furnished with marble and stone, that he had just moved into two weeks ago.

څېرې او اندېښنې | Faces and Thoughts By: Abdul wakil Sulamal دا چې خداى ( ج) څنګه پرې دا هر څه لورولي وو ، دا اوږده کيسه ده ، خو صاحب چې اوس په کومو شنو او سروکې لوبېده ، هر سړى ورته ګوته په غاښ او هک پک حيران و . نه يې د پيسو شمېر کېده او نه هم د راز راز موټرو ، بنګلو او نورو حسابونو کتابونو … داسې ماڼۍ چې نن سبا دى په کې دېره و او پوره دوه اونۍ د مخه يې نوې رانيولې وه ، کله په خوب کې هم نه وه ليدلې او نه خو هم له ده سره کله داسې تصور

Reprint Shira | שירה By: Lavie Tidhar Nur remembered a paragraph from one of Tirosh’s poems, from the single book he published, two years before the twentieth century came to an end: “The morning rises: another train station…”

שירה | Shira By: Lavie Tidhar נור נזכרה בבית אחד משיר של תירוש, מהספר היחיד שהוא פרסם, שנתיים לפני סוף המאה העשרים: “הבוקר עולה; עוד תחנת רכבת. השמיים בכחול כהה ופנסי הרחוב דולקים; אנשים, כמו תיבות טבועות של אוצרות עתיקים, יושבים במצולותיהם. מוקדם מדי להתחיל בפעולות חילוץ: לשעה קלה, לפני שהשמש תזרח, אנחנו לבד.” היא לא אהבה את הדימוי, לא מצאה בו את המקוריות הדרושה כדי להפוך את השיר למשהו מעבר ��משני, אבל עדיין… היא חשבה עליו עכשיו, מכיוון שבדרכו שלו, תירוש תפש, בשיר, מהות מסוימת של מסע. לתחנה היה שם רשמי בו לא נעשה שימוש; עבור תושבי העיר, לפחות, היה לה רק שם אחד, שילוב

Poetry Celestial Nirvana—written by the Curiosity Rover upon landing on Mars | 星球湼槃─為好奇號登陸火星而寫 By: Ko Hua Chen | 陳克華 Translated by: Annie Sheng I traveled eight and a half months to finally pay a visit to / Earth’s brother, separated and scattered a distance away

星球湼槃─為好奇號登陸火星而寫 | Celestial Nirvana–written by the Curiosity Rover upon landing on Mars By: Ko Hua Chen | 陳克華 走了八個半月終於得以拜見

Podcasts

Podcast: Wither And Blossom Art by: Suvi Kauppila Podcast read by: Anaea Lay Translated by: Suvi Kauppila In this episode of the Strange Horizons podcast, editor Anaea Lay presents Suvi Kauppila’s “Wither And Blossom.”

Podcast: Wither And Blossom – Finnish By: Suvi Kauppila Podcast read by: Suvi Kauppila Translated by: Suvi Kauppila In this episode of the Strange Horizons podcast, editor Anaea Lay presents Suvi Kauppila’s “Wither And Blossom – Finnish.”

Podcast: Faces and Thoughts By: Abdul wakil Sulamal Podcast read by: Anaea Lay In this episode of the Strange Horizons podcast, editor Anaea Lay presents Abdul wakil Sulamal’s “Faces and Thoughts.”

Podcast: Faces and Thoughts – Pashto By: Abdul wakil Sulamal Podcast read by: Abdul wakil Sulamal In this episode of the Strange Horizons podcast, editor Anaea Lay presents Abdul wakil Sulamal’s “Faces and Thoughts.”

Podcast: Shira By: Lavie Tidhar Podcast read by: Anaea Lay Translated by: Lavie Tidhar In this episode of the Strange Horizons podcast, editor Anaea Lay presents Lavie Tidhar’s “Shira.” The original Hebrew language version of this story was first published on the Israeli SFF Society website, by editor Nir Yaniv. It is also a reprint of the English version, originally published in The Del Rey Book of Science Fiction and Fantasy, edited by Ellen Datlow, 2008.

Reviews

Monday: Orbital Cloud by Taiyo Fujii, translated by Timothy Silver By: Rachel CordascoScience Fiction StoriesThe Worldless by Indrapramit Das Author spotlightDeath Every Seventy-Two Minutes by Adam-Troy Castro Author spotlightCome-from-Aways by Julian Mortimer Smith Author spotlightFantasy StoriesPhantom Pain by Eileen Gunn Author spotlightThe Debt of the Innocent by Rachel Swirsky Author spotlightThe Stone Lover by Marta Randall Author spotlightLa Peau Verte by Caitlín R. KiernanSoccer Fields and Frozen Lakes by Greg Kurzawa Author spotlightNonfictionEditorial, March 2017 by John Joseph AdamsTV Review: March 2017 by Joseph Allen HillBook Reviews: March 2017 by Amal El-Mohtar

Interview: Nnedi Okorafor by Christian A. Coleman

Exclusive Paid Content

NOVELLA: Proving the Rule by Holly Phillips

NOVEL EXCERPT: Orbital Cloud by Taiyo Fujii

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: Holly Phillips by Robyn Lupo March/April 2017 Vol. 41 Nos. 3 & 4

NOVELLA

Tao Zero Damien Broderick

NOVELETTES

Soulmates.com Will McIntosh

Three Can Keep a Secret Bill Johnson & Gregory Frost

Kitty Hawk Alan Smale

The Wisdom of the Group Ian R. MacLeod

SHORT STORIES

Number Thirty-Nine Skink Suzanne Palmer

The Ones Who Know Where They Are Going Sarah Pinsker

Invasion of the Saucer-Men Dale Bailey

Cupido Rich Larson

A Singular Event in the Fourth Dimension Andrea M. Pawley

After the Atrocity Ian Creasey

Goner Gregory Norman Bossert

We Regret the Error Terry Bisson

POETRY

Mount Rushmore Marge Simon

Small Certainties Sara Polsky

Almost Certainly a Time Traveler Jarod K. Anderson

Surreal Axioms Bruce Boston

Note from Olympus Mons Robert Frazier

Rock, Paper, Scissors Robert Borski

DEPARTMENTS

Guest Editorial: Things Change James Patrick Kelly

Reflections: Forty Years! Robert Silverberg

On the Net: Screen Dreams James Patrick Kelly

Next Issue

On Books Peter Heck

The SF Conventional Calendar Erwin S. Strauss

Words from the Editor-in-Chief by Jason Sizemore

“Luminaria” by John Hornor Jacobs (Novelette)

Interview with Author John Hornor Jacobs by Andrea Johnson (March 8th)

“Waste” by Mary Elizabeth Burroughs (Short Story)

“Jesus Christ, Reanimator” by Ken MacLeod (Short Story)

Interview with Cover Artist Caroline Jamhour by Russell Dickerson (March 28th)

Books Worth Your Time by the Apex staff

Words for Thought: Short Fiction Review by A.C. Wise From the Story Vaults: Paperclips and Memories and Things That Won’t Be Missed by Caroline Yaochim

Podcast Fiction

NOVELLAS

Nexus Michael F. Flynn

Plaisir D’Amour John Alfred Taylor

NOVELETTES

Europa’s Survivors

Marianne J. Dyson

Host Eneasz Brodski

The Human Way Tony Ballantyne

SHORT STORIES

Eli’s Coming Catherine Wells

Time Heals James C. Glass

Shakesville Adam-Troy Castro & Alvaro Zinos-Amaro

The Snatchers Edward McDermott

Unbearable Burden Gwendolyn Clare

Grandmaster Jay O’Connell

Alexander’s Theory of Special Relativity Shane Halbach

Concerning the Devastation Wrought by the Nefarious Gray Comma and Its Ilk: A Men in Tie-Dye Adventure Tim McDaniel

Ecuador vs Bug-eyed Monsters Jay Werkheiser

SCIENCE FACT

Sustainability Lab 101: Cuba as a Simulation of Possible Futures Stanley Schmidt

PROBABILITY ZERO

Hidden Intentions Mary E. Lowd

POETRY

Barriers J, Northcutt Jr.

Hypothesis/Assertion Daniel D. Villani

DEPARTMENTS

Guest Editorial: Future-Propfing the Near Future: Design Fiction for Global Education Nickolas Falkner

The Alternate View John G. Cramer

In Times to Come

The Reference Library Don Sakers

Brass Tacks

Upcoming Events Anthony Lewis

ISSUE 126, March 2017

FICTION

Two Ways of Living

by Robert Reed

Real Ghosts

by J.B. Park

Waiting Out the End of the World in Patty’s Place Cafe

by Naomi Kritzer

Crown of Thorns

by Octavia Cade

Goodnight, Melancholy

by Xia Jia, translated by Ken Liu

The Discovered Country

by Ian R. MacLeod

At the Cross-Time Jaunter’s Ball

by Alexander Jablokov

NON-FICTION

SF Short Fiction Markets in China: An Overview of 2016

by Feng Zhang

Howling at the Lunar Landscape: A Conversation with Ian McDonald

by Chris Urie

Another Word: Reading For Pleasure

by Cat Rambo

Editor’s Desk: Recognizing 2016

by Neil Clarke

PODCASTS

Two Ways of Living

by Robert Reed, read by Kate Baker

Real Ghosts

by J.B. Park, read by Kate Baker

Waiting Out the End of the World in Patty’s Place Cafe

by Naomi Kritzer, read by Kate Baker

Crown of Thorns

by Octavia Cade, read by Kate Baker

Goodnight, Melancholy

by Xia Jia, read by Kate Baker

The Discovered Country

by Ian R. MacLeod, read by Kate Baker

ART

Jungle Deep

by Sergei Sarichev

Fiction

No Regrets on Fourth Street by Lauren C. Teffeau

Shell Game by Tom Jolly

proLong by James Van Pelt

Defensive Posture by Eric Del Carlo

Real Rachel Winterbourne by Tim Jeffreys

Short on Thought, Quick on the Trigger by Dave Creek

Last Times by Jez Patterson

Natural Eyes by Benjamin Sonnek

Shorter Stories

Floating Rocks by L.L. Hill

Goddamn Marvel by James Wesley Reid

Ligeia is Waiting by Russell Hemmell

Articles

Drones in the Daffodils by Wyss Institute

Mapping Time Travel by Daniel M. Kimmel

NOVELLAS The Man Who Put the Bomp – Richard Chwedyk

NOVELETS Driverless – Robert Grossbach

Ten Half-Pennies – Matthew Hughes

The Avenger – Albert E. Cowdrey

SHORT STORIES

The Toymaker’s Daughter – Arundhati Hazra

A Green Silk Dress and a Wedding-Death – Cat Hellisen

Miss Cruz – James Sallis

Daisy – Eleanor Arnason

POEMS Spacemail Only – Ruth Berman

DEPARTMENTS Books to Look For – Charles de Lint

Musing on Books – Michelle West

Science: Robots in Your Pants – Pat Murphy and Paul Doherty

Films: The Language of Loss, Trust, and Heptapods – Kathi Maio

Coming Attractions – Curiosities – David Langford

CARTOONS Arthur Masear, Arthur Masear, Nick Downes

COVER Bryn Barnard for “The Man Who Put the Bomp”

From the Cloud Editorial

When I tried to go to England by Sarah Hart

Wind Farmers from Outer Space by Robert Cox

Hyter and the House That Stands by Steve Toase

Dissecting SF: The Enduring Influence of Kafka on Speculative Fiction by Lachlan Walter

Not Born of Woman—Artificial Wombs in the Vorkosigan Saga by Renée Turner

More Fiction

Auspicium Melioris Aevi by JY Yang

Rising Star by Stephen Graham Jones

With Cardamom I’ll Bind Their Lips by Beth Cato

The Red Secretary by Kameron Hurley (available Apr 04, 2017)

An Abundance of Fish by S. Qiouyi Lu (available Apr 04, 2017)

And Then There Were (N-One) by Sarah Pinsker (available Apr 04, 2017)

Poetry

time, and time again by Brandon O’Brien

Protestations Against the Idea of Anglicization by Cassandra Khaw

The Size of a Barleycorn, Encased in Lead by Bogi Takács (available Apr 04, 2017)

The Axolotl Inquest by Lisa M. Bradley (available Apr 04, 2017)

Editorials

The Uncanny Valley by Lynne M. Thomas and Michael Damian Thomas Essays

Act Up, Rise Up by Elsa Sjunneson-Henry

Resistance 101: Basics of Community Organizing for SF/F Creators & Consumers, Volume One: Protest Tips and Tricks by Sam J. Miller

Thank You, Patreon Supporters! by Lynne M. Thomas and Michael Damian Thomas

Fandom in the Classroom by Paul Booth (available Apr 04, 2017)

A Work of Art Is a Refuge and Resistance by Dawn Xiana Moon (available Apr 04, 2017)

#beautifulresistance by Shveta Thakrar (available Apr 04, 2017)

Interviews

Interview: Stephen Graham Jones by Julia Rios

Interview: Sarah Pinsker by Julia Rios (available Apr 04, 2017)

The Editor’s Word

FICTION BRAGGING RITES by Samantha Murray

THE TRAGEDY OF THE DEAD IS THAT THEY CANNOT CRY by Sunil Patel

THE LOYAL ORDER OF BEASTS by Kay Kenyon

YOU CAN ALWAYS CHANGE THE PAST by George Nikolopoulos

IT TAKES A SPECIAL-SPECIAL PERSON by Andrea G. Stewart

LOCKED ROOM by Kevin J. Anderson

GOLF TO THE DEATH by Alex Shvartsman

MY MONSTER CAN BEAT UP YOUR MONSTER by Brennan Harvey

THE OBSERVER by Kristine Kathryn Rusch

YOUR GRIEF IS IMPORTANT TO US by Yaroslav Barsukov

DO NOT CALL ME BENTO by Tina Gower

IN THE GROUP by Robert Silverberg

INTERVIEW Mike Resnick by Joy Ward

SERIALIZATION Double Star (Part 2) Heinlein’s First Hugo Winner by Robert A. Heinlein

COLUMNS From the Heart’s Basement by Barry N. Malzberg

Science Column by Gregory Benford

Recommended Books by Bill Fawcett & Jody Lynn Nye

Issue #222 — Mar. 30, 2017

The Shark God’s Child

Jonathan Edelstein

Nightshade

J.W. Halicks

Audio Fiction Podcast:

Nightshade

J.W. Halicks

Forever magazine

Forever has reprints by Ian McDonald, T.R. Napper, and Ken Liu.

Fiction: The Influence Machine by Sean McMullen illustrated by Richard WagnerA Death in the Wayward Drift by Tim Akers illustrated by Richard WagnerStill Life With Falling Man by Richard E. Gropp illustrated by Richard WagnerA Strange Kind of Beauty by Christien Gholson illustrated by Martin HanfordThe Common Sea by Steve Rasnic Tem

Guest Editorial by Steve Rasnic Tem

Future Interrupted: #Resistance Jonathan McCalmont

Time Pieces: The Voyage Home Nina Allan

Ansible Link David Langford

Reviews: Book Zone Peter Tennant, Maureen Kincaid Speller, Jonathan McCalmont, Stephen Theaker, Elaine Gallagher, Duncan Lunan, Jack Deighton, John Howard, Lawrence Osborn

Mutant Popcorn Nick Lowe

  CURRENT ISSUES: Periodical SF, Fantasy & Horror Current Issues is an occasional feature (mostly monthly) that provides a round up of the content of periodical SF, fantasy and horror.

[atruththatyoudeny]

Monthly Reads | March 2017

❤ THANK YOU TO ALL WRITERS FOR YOUR HARD WORK AND FOR SHARING YOUR STORIES! ❤ Top 5 + 11 more stories under the cut:

Feels Like Coming Home

by phdmama  | exes to lovers | alcohol abuse & recovery | trauma | mental health | 60k The last thing Harry Styles expects when he's hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that's exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn't heard one word from Louis, and he's moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he's a chef, isn't easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he'd left turn out to be not so easily forgotten. This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives.

Riptide

by FlyingAlwaysInColor | grief/mourning |light Dom/sub | hurt/comfort | mention of rape/non-con | 91k AU in which Louis loses his amazing mum, and is sent on a forced holiday to a luxury spa resort where he meets a green-eyed butterfly-angel and an adventurous Irishman who help him start to heal by administering equal doses of love and laughter.

Perfect Storm

by cherrystreet | fake relationship | 80k What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding. Harry and Louis choose the latter.

When We Were Younger

by waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee | Catfish AU | 76k About a week after Harry started visiting this particular chat room, he was watching some kid argue with the whole room about football, personally disinterested as he tipped a bag of crisps into his mouth. He happily chomped on the crumbs, taking a swig from a glass of Ribena to wash them down, glancing at the screen and very nearly spat the squash back out again. His heart was pounding wildly. The display icon of the argumentative newcomer had caught his eye, and not in a good way. He gulped as he clicked the picture, and when it popped up in full resolution, his heart nearly fell right out of his arse. - Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

Catch Me I'm Falling

by FeelsForBreakfast | The Fault In Our Stars AU | Major Character Death | 72k I don’t know if you get to choose who you fall in love with, who ends up taking a little piece of your heart with them when they leave. If someone had asked me, I don’t think I would have chosen Harry Styles, and I don’t know if he’d have chosen me. But standing here, looking back through the crystal clear lens of hindsight, I like my choices. A fic inspired by The Fault In Our Stars.

Them Butterflies

by momentofclarity | First Love | homophobic language & harassment | 68k To sum it all up - Louis is beautiful. Breathtakingly so. And Harry can’t find it in himself to even question the fact that he thinks so. Louis is mesmerising, nearly magnetic with all the energy bouncing off of him. Harry doesn’t know what to make of it, but he knows he doesn’t want this night to end. This is the extraordinarily ordinary AU where Harry falls in love for the first time and Louis learns how to fall in love all over again.

For Angels To Fly

by ithinkhesalwayswonderful | sex worker | 76k Louis isn’t in love with a guy and Harry doesn’t need saving. Neither of these things end up being entirely true.

Far Afield

by QuickedWeen  for the 2017 HL Prompt Challenge | witch!Harry | fluff | 11k Harry Styles is a witch who owns the best flower shop in Manchester. Lottie Tomlinson is planning her wedding, and brings her brother along to her first appointment. Both men have been having a bad day and sparks fly.

Resist Everything Except Temptation

by Lis (domesticharry) | pirates | violence | 100k The lethargic sound of heels clicking against wood resonated across the sea. Footsteps descended the staircase, every assured step creating a menacing aura as it grew closer. Perspiration gathered along Louis’ palms as the rhythmic sound halted in front of him. “Captain,” Malik greeted. Louis watched out of his peripheral as Malik’s boots shuffled back a few steps. Sweat matted the hair along the nape of Louis’ neck as he waited for something to happen. He felt as if a sharp blade was twisting his gut as the silence became tangible. There was a metallic slide of a sword being pulled out of its sheath, the sound startling Louis out of his cocoon of sterile shock. His shoulders jumped as the tip of a blade flattened underneath his jaw. Louis’ distorted reflection stared back at him in the polished metal. Engraved rose petals twisted his appearance as they crawled up the length of the sword. The sword lifted and took Louis’ chin with it. Standing in front of Louis was Captain Styles. OR The one where Louis is the commodore's son who is forced to become a part of Harry's crew when he is captured.

With A Broken Heart And A Ticket Home

by orphan_account | 12k “So, Louis,” Harry turns to him properly now, posture completely at ease, “You seem like an agreeable fellow. How do you propose we entertain ourselves until such a time as we can get on a plane, and get the fuck out of Knock?” Harry and Louis' flight is delayed, and they're the only ones to not get the memo. Cue a night spent in a tiny Irish airport with only each other for company, and the hand of Fate delivering a swift smack on the wrist and a demand to try again.

Elysian

by wonderlou | Beauty And The Beast AU | 81k “What could be it, Niall?” Harry asks gently with a sigh. He slouches down further into his chair, crossing his arms lazily across his chest. He is bored. He has been bored for five years straight, but even more so now that his one interest has shut himself out entirely. Harry had not even heard from Louis, not since last night, not since he had gotten on his nerves so much that he was torn between knocking him out and smiling in surrender to the slight awe he felt. Louis is opinionated like no one he’s ever seen, but his voice is honeyed; high-pitched and indignant. Harry is nothing short of entranced. Or, Harry is running out of time to fall in love, but with Louis, it seems as if there’s all the time in the world.

Like Vines (We Intertwine)

by turnyourankle | Alien AU | 8k The "Roswell" AU where Harry is an alien, Louis is not, and they've both been pining after each other for far too long.

Can't Start A Fire Without A Spark

by larrymylove | enemies to lovers | paparazzi & celebrity | 22k Louis Tomlinson is the pop sensation with his first new single out since taking a personal hiatus from the spotlight. Harry is a paparazzi hired to photograph him during promo. Louis hates paparazzi with a passion, but there’s just something about the pretty young pap with wide green eyes and chocolate curls that Louis can’t shake from his head.

More Or Less

by Saori for 1D Aro-Ace Fic Exchange | 10k “There’s… I’m not in love with you,” he admits, and sees Harry open his mouth to say something but Louis cuts him off. “No, wait, listen to me, okay, I’m not breaking up with you, I don’t want to, I just… I don’t know what I want, not really, didn’t really think about it. It’s… it’s not you; it’s not that I don’t love you, I love you very much. But… I’m not in love with you, I think,” he sighs, frustrated with himself that he can’t say it the way he explained to Lottie. or Louis and Harry have been dating for years when Louis realizes he's aromantic, and have bit hard time with it.

Nora

by waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee for the 2017 HL Prompt Challenge | 8k He made a quick phone call to his mum but it just wasn’t enough to dispel the sad feeling of loneliness in his heart. He’d been used to having someone around these past few years, and the silence was unbearable. Maybe he should get a dog? No. That wasn’t fair, working eight hours a day. Maybe a fish? Don’t be stupid, he told himself. Fish don’t make good company. He giggled to himself at the thought when he was on the bus coming home from work the next afternoon. Loneliness was on his mind again as he prepared to head back to a cold, empty flat. He glanced out the window, sighing, and that’s when he saw it. Cats Protection North London Adoption Centre A little van in front of the centre had a picture of a cat on it and wore the slogan, make your house a home. Louis rang the bell at once and hurried off the bus at the next stop. - Harry works at an adoption centre and lets Louis adopt his favourite cat.

On The Open Road

by MoonlitLarrie | enemies to friends to lovers | 24k Harry and Louis grew up together, they shared childhood and teenage memories, but they never really got along. What happens when they reunite after four years of not seeing each other, and they find out that the person they hated so much is not the same person anymore? Or a short roadtrip!au in which Harry and Louis have to travel together across the US, deal with the past and of course, share a bed.