#monster donks

[dailydeltarune]

reminder i take requests and also answer asks in character! feel free to specify a character you'd like to answer as well!!

[inhumaninterest]

That giant ass ribbon, just... either they found a giant ribbon or they went through all the effort in making one and both just raise more questions for me.

[bryan360]

While September is here, GameXplain still kept going for Smash Blog update on Week 12!

Fighters: Ness, Princess Peach, and Wolf O Donnell

New Assist Trophy: From Monster Hunter series and boy he’s big like “Ridley” sorta big.

New stage: New Donk City Hall with Mayor Pauline and band members

New song: Main Theme from Yoshi’s New Island from 3DS

[creek-ink]

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR VERSION OF SALLY WILLIAMS PLEASE PLEASE PL

AHHH!! an ask!! i never get these!! >:D

anyways- uh!

ok so, tbh my versions of the crps (esp the gals) r a jumbled mess of headcannons just floating around in my head. so forgive me if this is unreadable- (I plan on making details ref sheets in the future!!)

I've always loved the character of sally williams but I find her story uncomfortable and even a little triggering. (I experienced violent SA at a younge age) bc of this I basically changed everything abt her character. so here goes- buckle up!

sally's origins:

if ur sensitive to child death do not read the bits in red

to cut to the chase- sally williams was a 10yr murder victim of a cold case from the 70's or 80's. her body was found in the woods long after the initial murder, leaving it nearly unidentifiable. it was believed to be a crime of passion, due to the brutal nature of the attack. there were stab wounds, minor broken bones, blunt force trauma, and most curiously, a large, deep wound to her sternum.

bc of the decayed state of her body no DNA evidence of her attacker was recovered and, bc of the times, not much was looked for as DNA testing wasn't as advanced yet.

her case will remain cold- bc well, her attacker wasn't some creepy or horrendous serial killer, it was a creature~

"gasp! wow! how creative!! never saw that coming!!"

(lol)

I haven't decided which monster, either the rake or maybe seed eater (which would explain y EJ feels so obligated to watch over sally's spirit)

speaking of! (awesome segway- fuck ya)

her spirit:

sally's soul was left to wonder the forest dazed and confused abt what had happened to her. urban legends of a younge girl calling out from the woods surfaced in the following years, no doubt being linked to her case.

instead of a run-of-the-mill apparition, sally is more of a "thing"

I like to play around w the traditional depictions of common monsters and myths, so ghosts r no exception.

she isn't a glowing, transparent mist that takes the form of a small girl. instead she looks just how she did that night, suspended somewhere between life and death.

the more care her soul receives the more her appearance improves. her physical state is able to be altered, (ie. bodily changes like wieght or injury. as well as cosmetic changes like clothing and hair styles.)

-although things like age, body temperature, and height will always stay how they were when she died.

as for any ablities she might have, here is a small list:

- visions (past, present, and future)

- breaking things with her mind ~wo0o0oo~

- and a sort of soul connection w ppl she cares abt (ex. if EJ gets donked she'll be like "ow" or some shit)

personality and relationships <3

sally is a rather rambunctious and rebellious child, making her a uh- "acquired taste" look- either u love her or u hate her.

she can turn nearly any neat room into tornado ally. as u can imagine, she's extremely hard to keep undercontrol so most pastas don't even try lmao. either completely avoiding her in the first place or outright fueling the fire.

her main man is EJ, he's quiet and patient which is a perfect foil to her outrageous character. they enjoy exploring the outdoors, learning, and yes- even playing w dolls. on some rare occasions sally will be convincing enough to get EJ to play house w her <3 often assuming the mother and daughter roles respectively. hehe

nina is another one of sallys friends btw <3 dress up all around! and lots of makeovers.

~~~

unlike most depictions of they're relationship, sally and the slenderman do n0T get along. it sees her as a distraction and often tries to get her out of the manor.

(I do not cannon slenderman running or enhabitting the manor, instead I see it as a puppet master of sorts. i can go into this furth if u would like lol)

despite the threat of slenderman, the pastas collectively disobey him in order to keep sally around. they take pitty on her situation, and at the end of the day just want to provide her with a (somewhat) stable environment to put her soul at ease.

pic from a few months ago- just 4 visualizing purposes<3<3<3

ALRIGHT!! that wraps things up! I wrote wayyyyyy more than I was planning to- but I thought id go ahead and flesh her out, for future reference ofc ;)

if I forgot anything just lemme know in the comments <3

I hope u enjoyed reading this and I'd love to hear ur personal hcs! even if the conflict w my own. also let me know what u think of these,, ideas(?) I'm always open to constructive criticism!

ALSO MY ASKS R ALWAYS OPEN!! PLZ!! IM FUCKING BEGGING U!! I WILL NOT POST THIS KINDA SHIT UNLESS SPECIFICALLY ASKED!! BC IM INSECURE ABT MY WRITING!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

About Mario and Samus...

*Samus is with Link in her ship, going over a mission report*

Samus: According to a map of radiation in the atmosphere, Robotnik has a new lab in New Donk Tower. How he’s paying for the plutonium is still a mystery.

*She glances back at Link, who’s suiting up*

Samus: You don’t need to come. You’re not my sidekick.

Link: Of course I’m not. I’m your partner.

Samus: I don’t need a partner.

Link, with a smile: I know.

- Meanwhile -

*Mario and Peach are being driven in Peach’s royal carriage*

Peach: Stone says he has to meet Robotnik tonight, but he’ll testify if I come alone.

Mario: I’ll stay outside the door and-

Peach: You don’t need to be there.

Mario: Peach, that radiation monster or whatever that attacked me, Stone’s connected to it. Please, let me protect you.

Peach: I don’t need protection.

Mario, with a smile: I know.

- -

- -

*As the two parties move towards what they don’t know is the same destination, they begin talking about each other*

- -

- -

Mario: Her parents died when she was so young. Butchered right in front of her.

-

Samus: His whole planet was destroyed. He’s the last of a holocaust.

-

Mario: She was raised alone, a girl in the ruins, with her memories of mom and dad.

-

Samus: He grew up in the dirt, finding out slowly how different he was. A stranger, discovering every day how strange he was.

-

*Mario and Peach approach the entrance to the building*

Mario: She had love and they took it from her. She should be a killer. She should want to tear the world apart for what it did.

-

*Samus and Link land on the roof.*

Samus: He has the power to tear the world apart, and he could with a pinkie. It’s not his world. We’re not his people. We should be ants to him.

-

Mario: And yet she took that pain, that shock of death, and turned it into hope.

-

Samus: Imagine that. The pain of always being on the outside. And yet, he took all that and became a symbol of hope.

*Samus begins to unlock the ventilation system*

Samus: I’m just another orphan. I knew my parents, who I was, who I had to be.

-

*Mario takes Peach’s hand as they approach the elevator*

Mario: I had the love of family, Luigi and Yoshi. I had a childhood full of laughter and love.

-

Samus: I didn’t have any choice but to be who I am. He had every choice, and he became who he is.

-

Mario: I’m a Starchild. I have to do this. All she has are her suit and her will. And she chooses to do this.

-

*Link and Samus begin to climb down the elevator shaft*

Samus: Every kid is inspired by him.

-

*Mario and Peach get in the elevator*

Mario: Everyone wants to be her.

-

Samus: He’s a better person than me.

-

Mario: She’s just a better person than me.

*The Elevator door closes and they begin going up*

Mario: She and Link got engaged. They didn’t tell me. Okay. That’s her way of telling me... we’re not friends. Not really.

-

Samus: You can’t be friends with him. Not when you’re... he doesn’t need to congratulate me. Look at me. Who am I compared to him?

-

Mario: She is who she is. She’s not... she doesn’t need a friend. She doesn’t need... she isn’t like me.

-

*Samus forces the elevator door open*

Samus: He’s Super Mario.

-

*The elevator dings open*

Mario: She’s Samus Aran.

-

*Both parties get out of their respective elevators, coming face to face with each other*

Mario: How- how didn’t I see you?

Samus: You’re not supposed to see me. And you- you took the elevator?

Mario: If I flew here- I’d- to get in this floor... I’d have to break a window.

*Awkward silence*

Peach: Princess Peach, at your service.

Link: Sir Link Greenlief, my lady.

*they shake hands as Mario and Samus awkwardly regard each other.

[redwineconversation]

In re: privacy

I really hate talking about a player's personal relationship but I saw something on Tumblr re: van de Donk's relationship with Carpenter and it genuinely bothered me, so I am going to talk about it. I'm not going to link to the actual blog I saw it on because I don't believe in witch-hunts, and also because I like to think I am a morally good person. Which is more than can be said for certain other individuals.

Anyway, the anon messaged this particular blog and was basically along the lines of "van de Donk has changed and that's why I can't support her relationship with Carpenter even though my opinion has no weight but admitting that I never go outside."

The thing is, they're actually right. Van de Donk has changed in terms of social media content. But they're glossing over a very, very important fact.

The thing that changed? She's with Lyon now, a team that goes to considerable measures to block fans from doing super invasive shit.

Lyon just isn't going to shove a camera into one of their player's faces and demand they vlog their day-to-day activities. It's just not going to happen, because Lyon doesn't operate like that. Lyon doesn't belong to the fans and as such doesn't market themselves as such. They've never done that before and it's just not something that is going to change. Lyon gatekeeps the shit out of their own players. They're trying to loosen their stranglehold a bit, in that even monsters say they're sorry in their own way, but the core principles aren't something that will be put up for debate.

And those principles go something like this: treat a player the way you want them to see ... yourself.

Lyon wants to be seen as the best team in the world. It genuinely, genuinely bothers them when another team gets fawned over in the media, when Lyon's success is dismissed as being anecdotal at best. It's a weird mentality, in some ways: the more Lyon wins, the less accessible they are seen to the public, so Lyon feels they have to win to prove they still can, and so the access becomes more restricted, and so Lyon wins ...

Anyway. Let's get back to van de Donk.

Yes, she has become less accessible since moving to Lyon. But let's be real: that's the only thing that has changed. She's still the same person. The only difference, really, is that she is on a team that is allergic to social media content. Instead now you're only seeing what she personally, and the club professionally, wants you to see.

Anything she does outside the club is up to van de Donk's own discretion to post on social media or not.

Because here's the thing: Lyon respects the line in the sand. They want van de Donk, the professional player. That's who they signed and that's what they want: a player who will show up to work each day and just does their job. The rest is just background noise.

We don't know the intricate details of van de Donk's day-to-day life now that she is fully integrated into the Lyon team. But we don't deserve to know, either. Who she's with, what's she doing - do you really think that kind of information is something Lyon feels the public should know?

More importantly - does it really make that much of a difference to you?

I think that's really what I find so bewildering. And, to a degree, offensive as well. Certain individuals are basically saying that they can't support van de Donk unless they get a free voyeuristic insight into van de Donk's private life.

That's gross and invasive as shit.

You don't have a right to know any of her private life. Who she is with, what she is doing, how she talks to her partner in private - I mean this in the most genuinely sincere manner possible. Why the fuck do you think you deserve to know any of that?

Anyway. As I was saying, I don't think van de Donk has changed at all. She's the same person she was before. The difference is the accessibility to her private life has changed.

And so now it's a lot harder to "like" someone when you realize that given the choice, they never wanted you to be a part of their private life in the first place.

[stickytrigger69]

My inbox is open, so feel free to request. I will mostly write for Transformers, and reader inserts will always be cybertronian reader, and reader will be gender neutral unless specifically requested to be otherwise.

Since the beginning of this year I've really gotten into Transformers. I have seen the original '86 film and I've been watching the hell out of G1, I binge watched Prime, I've seen Beast Wars, I haven't watched much of TFA, nor have I read the comics yet but I will be sure to do my research on what I don't know, I swear I will go FBI mode and find out everything about a character or certain au or what have you. I really like to write a lot so my fics have a good chance to be long. I have good grammar and always try to have equal quality spelling.

Now, onto what I will and won't write.

I will write nsfw and or sfw.

Platonic and romantic.

I will write character x character fics.

I will write gender neutral, fem, masc, transmasc, and transfem.

My go-to is Cybertronian Reader but I can write Human, alien, and monster/cryptid reader fics.

I am a furry supporter so I can definitely write furry fics for the bois.

I can write plot or plot-less fics, though I usually prefer to write with a plot, but the customer is always right, lol.

I can do platonic, romantic, and sibling fics.

On the whole platonic subject, I can write sparkling fics.

I can definitely write angst.

Angst can be anything from yandere to even abuse but same as non-con rules it will be vague.

I can tolerate almost everything, it will be a struggle but it can help me cope to write abusive fics.

Abuse when reader or character is young and considered to be a child will have very little description and be more of a small shadow that follows the character or reader into adulthood.

Any character, give me the name of 'em, I'll do research and write them as best I can.

As for non-con:

I don't mind writing it in terms of kink, cause I know it's a role play thing. So I can definitely do it in a kinky context.

Dub-con. Reader might not say yes but they didn't say no, right? I can do that too, especially if afterwards reader or the character feels conflicted like it wasn't what they actually needed or wanted but they hadn't felt like that in the beginning.

Actual non-con will be written very vaguely and only as a point of reference. Like as a Flashback yknow for those deeply traumatizing angst fics. If you want a full blown non-con fic you will have to find it on my AO3 account that I will make a post about soon. (I made one but haven't posted on it yet)

Non-con is often very violent and I understand that it makes others very uncomfortable, myself included, thus, it will be written in moderation on this blog whereas on my AO3 it will be descriptive for those who can stomach it I suppose.

I like to curse a lot so you have been warned.

Bodily fluids of any kind that are not coom, spit, or blood are a no go.

Anything sexual involving children or minors is a no unless it's, as mentioned before, past trauma that is resurfacing.

Necrophilia, no-fucking-go.

I can do kinks though I'm sure there are some I will not do once I do my research.

Kinks I will write for:

Breeding

Overstimulation

Consensual non-con

Role playing

I am also a certified monster fucker so I can do that stuff too, tentacles, predacons, insecticons etc 🤭

Bondage

Masochism/Sadism

Pet play

Corruption-innocent tainted by evil

Master/Servant play

Size difference

Blindfolds that counts as sensory deprivation right ?

Edging

Eggs/Ovipostition

Denial

A/B/O - Alpha/Beta/Omega stuffs (a personal favorite)

And whatever else I can think of or if something else pops up I will let you all know.

If anyone at all sends in a request and I donk it up, please tell me asap just don't be rude about it and I'll fix it. If you have an opinion on how a character should be written or if you want me to write them a certain way tell me, I don't care if your ask turns out really long, give me a whole ass essay of what you want and I will give it to you. If you only give me small details or just a two sentence ask I'm doing what I want with what you gave me.

Questions or concerns? Feel free to send an anonymous ask or even dm me.

[charnelhouse]

I love you honky donk dick ❤️😌

Bahahahaha

Love you too my smut monster

Last nights threesome smut convo is living rent free in my head rn

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Friday, October 21

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Broken-Hearted (Ensemble, PG) by badly-knitted

Exploring the horizons (Buffy/Satsu, NC-17) by R4ik3n

all that you ever wanted from me was nothing (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by spuffysmixtape

Popcorn (Buffy/Spike, R) by ladyemma42

Last Kiss (Angel/Buffy, PG-13) by TheCrowandNightingale

Kamen Rider Will-O (Cordelia/Willow, Kamen Rider Den-O xover, PG-13) by LadyBelltara

Welcome to New Donk! (Buffy, Super Mario xover, Not Rated) by JessicaSnow

[Chaptered Fiction]

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Shadowed Suspicion Chapter 358 (Ensemble, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure xover, PG-13) by madimpossibledreamer

A New Family for Buffy Chapter 2 (Buffy/Faith, Charmed xover, PG-13) by BrennaLynn

Fix My Heart Chapter 4 (Buffy/Faith, R) by fxithsjackal

House of Monsters Chapter 21 (Giles/Ethan, R) by InMyOwnHeadItGoesLikeThis. COMPLETE!

The Time We Had Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Dusty87

The Sun Chapter 19 (Tara/Willow, PG-13) by heckate

Dawn of the Future Chapter 5 (Buffy/OFC, PG-13) by BrennaLynn

Once Upon A Slayer Chapter 24 (Buffy/Mulan, Once Upon A Time xover, PG-13) by BrennaLynn. Author also archived a number of other stories

Plastic Hearts Chapter 5 (Dawn/helmut Zemo, MCU xover, R) by patriciatepes

A tale of Vampires and Slayers Chapter 7 (Ensemble, The Vampire Diaries xover, PG-13) by Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen

Aphantasia Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, A Nightmare on Elm Street xover, R) by TheClowniestLivInExistence

It's Easy Time, Until It's Not Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by hulettwyo

Learning To Be Love's Bitch Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Desicat

Ties to the World Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by The Danish Bird

Bound Chapter 20 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by RavenLove12

The Footprints Left Behind Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Willow91

Orvieto Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by TuesdayGirl

Needs Must Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by EllieRose101. COMPLETE!

1922 Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Desicat

Did You Ever Know Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by violettathepiratequeen. COMPLETE!

The Road to Hell.... Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by All4Spike

Got Your Six Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

Waiting On My Spaceship Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Chelle

Xander Harris and the Eye of Ra Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by SlayrGrl

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: I drew Buffy and Faith by missmisery8

Podcast: Pop Culture Role Call 300th Episode Spectacular (RPG one-shot set in the Buffy universe) by popculturerolecall

[Community Announcements]

Buffyverse Top 5's 2022 Session Has Begun! at buffyversetop5

[Fandom Discussions]

If I had to write a Buffy movie not a new slayer by SarahAlicia

Inconsistencies in the lore (AtS) by missxfaithc

The Big Bads of Buffy and Angel and whether I'd sleep with them by JamesTheIceQueen

Video: Buffy's 'Worst' Episode Is The Government's Fault by Sarah Z

S7 Rewatch - discussion on First Date continued by Stoney

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

CBR.com: 10 Scariest Buffy The Vampire Slayer Monsters

GameRant: 8 Creepiest Buffy Episodes, Ranked

[reddish-green-personality]

Track #BrushYourTeeth

This track was one of those where the stupidest inspiration snowballs into something relatively good’.

I’ve been making too many slow tracks, so i thought to experiment with a groovy, dance-vibe type thing

Taglist  @mango-pickle @some-major-ishues @ineedbackgroundmusicinmylife @wannabe-santiago @awesomeuvinthings @grace-k-sterling @apocalyptic-saboteur @holding-infinity-and-a-book @fleventes @damnicourmysunshine @stars-triumphant @starry-tea-party @ineffable-akira @dead-potato-monster @moon--bug @didyouputyournameinthegobi @aadya-said-chal-be @strudel-and-creme @sherlocksacchimesamlaingiknamhai @blizzard-witch @silent-nerd-deactivated20201202 @screechingnightchild @i-love-books-and-i-cannot-lie @rustycoffemachine @daughter-of-poseidon-97 @whythefuckdoiexist @rainbowsnowflake @percabeth-ish @cementcinema @amandaanubis @calltothewild

Hope you like it !

\/ Deconstruction \/

the first sound on this was a DONK from a bottle, whcih was sampled into the keys. then the light percussion from my tooth brush

bass guitar loop(because i dont got one)

vocal sample from internet, chopped into the pockets

went for the funkiest snares i could find, kindah analog, with a off-grid clap

some tonal and white noise risers,  and some vinyl crackle for sauce

the reverse tool was very helpful on this track. 

the last vocal groove was a happy accident when i consolidated to sped up vocal clips randomly

thats about it

[allykakamatsu]

Danganronpa V3 Smash Bros Tournament!

•Monokuma decides a good way to get everyone to kill each other is a Smash Bros Tournament, I mean, with all the salt someone’s bound to snap.

•No one kills each other, aside from Maki attempting to kill Kokichi, but it does become a weekly tradition despite the rage.

Kaede Akamatsu

• Get’s into a heated debate over who gets to main Rosalina with Kaito, but after a bit she caved and agreed to pick someone else.

•She end’s up picking Peach after Tsumugi makes a comment that they kinda look alike.

•Little did anyone know that Kaede is actually kinda a monster with Peach and frequently does really well in the tournaments.

•Favourite stage is New Donk city, and every time she gets to play on it she sings Jump up Superstar the entire match.

•Nobody is sure if they love or hate it.

•When not singing, she’ll make the stage music anything that has a dominant Piano.

•Favourite item is the Star Rod

Shuichi Saihara

• Acts like he’s never played before and decides to main Chrom due to him seeing easy enough to play and liking his personality.

•In actuality has played on and off for years and is a proud Dedede main but is too embarrassed to admit it.

•Also plays Pikachu but cause it’s Miu’s main he doesn’t usually use the electric mouse.

•Usually middle of the road in the tournaments.

•Prefers to fight on Battlefield but so long as the stage doesn’t move he can live with anything.

•Likes to keep items off.

Rantaro Amami:

•Good with all three Link forms, but has a bias for Toon Link.

•Can’t remember when he started playing, but given how he’s the only one who doesn’t panic by tripping they assume it’s Brawl.

•They also assume this because whenever someone picks Meta Knight he gets visibly distressed.

•Tournament wise he Can either do really well or really s**t depending on the day.

•Doesn’t have a favourite stage but tends to pick the Zelda stages cause he likes them the best.

•The only one who’s happy when a warp star shows up.

Ryoma Hoshi:

•At first played Incineroar cause its the only cat.

•After realising how bad his recovery was though, he kinda just tried anything to see what would work.

•Found a few semi-mains, namely Snake, Link and Villager

•Usually doesn‘t try to hard in tournaments so comes in last, or will even sit out, but when he wants to win, he will.

•Moral of the story, if he picks Villager, panic.

•No stage or item preference, but when it’s his turn to pick he tends to go with Shadow Moses island cause he likes the look.

Kirumi Tojo

•Mains everyone and is good with all of them.

•Like, can beat Mario with Little Mac good.

•Does have a slight preference towards Shiek though due to her admiring the ninja’s loyalty.

•Due to her skills, she tends to sit out with Ryoma to give everyone a chance.

•When she does play though, well, try not to loose too fast.

•Also usually the one who has to stop Maki killing Kokichi if he beats her.

•Always goes random when stage picking time comes, but also puts all the stages in battlefield mode in case it lands on something BS.

•For similar reasons tries to ignore items

Angie Yonaga

•Everyone expected her to pick Palutena, and while she does have her as a sub main, Angie usually plays Sephiroth. •Why? Angel (kinda), kick ass theme, and loves watching the others panic when they see him. Plus, Atua told her to pick someone unexpected.

•Also tried Pit and Dark Pit, and while she likes their personalities she isn’t big on their gameplay.

•To this day the only one who’s beat Kirumi in a match, and outside of that time she’s still good in tournaments.

•Atua told Angie to pick Big Blue one day, and ever since everyone dreads her turn on stage select.

Tenko Chabishira

• Always plays as a girl no matter what.

•Plays Min Min more often than not, but occasionally surprises everyone by whipping out villager.

•Why? “She’s Himiko cute!!”

•Pretty good at the game, but super competitive. Unless you’re Himiko, be prepared to get yelled at at least once if she looses.

•One day while everyone was playing random, she got Ken and kinda hated that she likes it so she occasionally plays him in private. •Shuichi caught her doing this while he was playing Dedede, and they both promised to never tell a soul.

•Punch Out stage or bust!

•Doesn’t have an opinion on items, but when she plays villager she hopes for the bunny hood cause she thinks it’s adorable.

Korekiyo Shinguji

•Lucario or bust (he likes the aura theme) though he’s also kinda a monster with Lucina

•Strangely though, whenever he uses Lucina he acts... different? (the class is convinced he’s possessed when this happens.)

•Outside of that though, tends to be one of the worse players.

•Second to none at recovery though.

•Hyrule castle has been his favourite stage since day one And that’s never gonna change.

•Always has items on, he likes the surprise factor (he and Shuichi are never allowed have a one on one fight)

Miu Iruma

•Has probably been playing the longest aside from Kirumi.

•Has played all the games, and cause Of this is decent with all of the OG 8, but will always pick Pikachu.

•Will only ever pick someone else if it’s a random match or someone makes her give Shuichi a turn, and in that case she picks Pichu as a backup.

•Despite her boasting, is usually in the lower end of the group.

•Doesn’t stop her from rubbing it in when she wins though.

•Tends to go for Wily’s castle for her stage, if for no other reason than she’s the only one who can handle the yellow devil.

•Super Hammer or bust!

Gonta Gokuhara

•Likes Donkey Kong the best, but also tries to learn how to play Joker from Kokichi cause he looks like a gentleman.

•Also likes all the Pokémon even if he isn’t the best with them.

•Honestly, aside from Olimar he likes everyone, and he only really dislikes Olimar cause he’s bullying the bugs!

•Everyone agrees to never touch the pikmin rep when he’s in the room.

•Tends to come in last with the only one he can beat kinda consistently is Ryoma without villager, but he still has a lot of fun.

•Tends to pick whatever stage everyone likes best, and has no clue how to use items.

Kokichi Ouma

•Always plays Joker because who else is a phantom thief going to pick.

•Actually he plays Villager in his spare time but Kaito is the only that knows and that was a mistake so shh.....

•Begrudgingly teaches Gonta how to play, if only from the horror on someone’s face when they get cocky only to loose to the guy who didn’t even know what a Smash Bros was a few weeks ago.

•Peak troll. Camps with gun, let’s people *cough* Kaito and Miu *cough* Hit fake smash balls, always picks the auto scrolling stages, he just loves making everyone groan.

•Only thing that makes him visibly salty is Miu on stage select cause f**k yellow devil.

Kaito Momota

•A proud Rosalina main. A badass space princess that protects the stars, what’s not to love?

•First time they all play, they all expect him to suck..... so you can imagine their surprise he‘a one of the best players in the class, especially at edge guard

•Despite that, is the most susceptible to stage hazards and bad items, especially fake smash balls. He has gotten better at recovering from them though.

•Never asks anyone to turn them off though, cause it’s worth it for the black hole and the assist trophies.

•Whenever Kiyo plays Lucina, he makes sure to sit at the other end of the couch.

•Always tries to give people pointers, though since he really only plays one character he’s not the best at it.

•Will ALWAYS pick either the Mario Galaxy stage or the Star Fox stages

Tsumugi Shirogane

•Tends to pick Kirby for A, the cute hats, and B, it gives her an excuse to rant about the lore. You know those Kirby fans who obnoxiously push how the series is super deep? That’s Tsumugi.

•Rants the whole match, leading to people preferring Kokichi obnoxiously joining in on Kaede’s singing to it. •Knowing they’re not safe when she’s not playing either, they all agree that unless it’s random’s to never pick a Kirby stage or character (another reason for Shuichi to hide being a Dedede main)

•She’ll occasionally rant about other series too, but Kirby is the biggest example.

•Despite this, she’s actually a pretty good player, even if she can be a bit to sadistic with down special sometimes.

Kiibo

•Refuses to touch ROB or MegaMan to avoid falling into the stereotype of the robot playing the robots.

•Instead picks Pyra and Mythra cause they’re great characters with a bit of computer theme that only Tsumugi knows about mercifully hasn’t ranted on yet.

•Plays very predictably, but just because you know a Lightning Buster- Prominence Revolt is coming doesn't mean blocking it is easier.

•As such is usually in the middle of the pack tournament wise. •Refuses to use side B as Pyra because one time he did and Kokichi did a stupid combo which took him from 30% to death so he’s not taking any chances again.

•Tends to put The stage on random, which he occasionally regrets if he rolls a side scroller.

Himiko Yumeno:

•Mains ALL the magic users. •Robin, Zelda, Hero, Sephiroth, so long as they have a big focus on magic she’s all in.

•Tends to use Hero the most, specifically Eight, because she likes the MP gauge.

•Despite seemingly never practicing and only doing okay with most moves, is the fastest thing in the freaking world at picking the right spell. If she gets magic burst or Kamikaze, prepare to die.

•Everyone assumes she’s probably played Dragon Quest cause of this, but she hasn’t confirmed and just chalks her skill up to magic.

•The only one who can make Tenko stop raging.

•Keeping with the theme, will usually pick the World Tree stage.

Maki Harukawa

•Messed around with everyone a bit but was only super good as Zero Suit Samus.

•Even then she’s mostly middle of the pack, but she doesn’t mind too much.

•Unless she looses to Kokichi, then it’s a struggle for Kaito and Kirumi to stop her from killing him.

•Tends to handle snacks cause Kirumi has to be in the room to keep order and she usually gets knocked out early. •The most frequent subject of Kaito’s tips, which range from helpful to ”Kaito I don’t have a f**king Luma”

•Tends to pick Shadow Moses island cause she likes the look, and though she won’t tell anyone she loves the music

[hopeaterart]

Mario Odyssey: Paper Kingdom AU

Or: The AU where I adapt Paper Mario characters into a kingdom in Mario Odyssey because while my brain is small, it has a big mind that keeps thinking up new ideas. This tackles the kingdom’s backstory, it’s travel brochure, why Mario ends up going there, and the frankly ridiculous political context he stumbles into. I might tackle the characters in another post.

Backstory

A long time ago, a creature made out of shadows and thin as paper rose out of an island. Calling itself- or herself- the Shadow Queen, the malevolent spirit could wield the power of seven stars, and her heart was pitch-black and full of chaotic hatred. She reigned over the land with an iron fist, terrified painted shadows at her command.

Until one day, a small faction of her own people turned against, led by four heroes and eight mages. They studied her magic, and turned it against her, folding themselves like paper get close to her and stealing her stars to destroy her body, the eight mages using their magic to separate her heart from her spirit

Enraged, her spirit lashed out, cursing the four heroes into suffering the same fate as her, reduced to spirits enclosed in coffins just as she unleashed the full power of her heart. But before she could turn her wrath on the other rebels, the eight mages sacrificed themselves, turning their souls into pure energy and setting it on the Shadow Queen’s heart, ripping it out and sending both the heart and the soul of the Shadow Queen into a deep sleep.

The only thing left was a prophecy- a warning. If a cruel monster and a gentle maiden marry each other in a farce, the Chaos Heart will rise again. If this happens, the Shadow Queen’s rise is imminent, and she will take over the body of the maiden. The only way to stop her is to find her Seven Stars, and use them to destroy her soul once and for all.

The throne of the Paper Kingdom is left symbolically empty, and the country is ruled by a council.

-

Travel Brochure

Population: Sparse, but plentiful

Size: Wide

Locals: Shapeshifters

Currency: Paper fortune teller shaped

Industries: Construction, stories

Temperature: Average  73 °F

A craft for the ages

Multi-level: The Paper Kingdom is made of multiple levels carved within the plateau, and all of them have something to offer. From the charming beach town of Rogueport to the looming Castle of Chaos, this place is vibrant and full of carefully crafted layers.

Rich History: The Paper Kingdom’s history is something for the ages: A demon rising out of the earth, her own people standing up against her, a battle ending in tragedy, and a prophecy! And they know it too! Their own history is so rich and captivating, they transformed telling people about it into a spectacle. If you’re ever in the need of someone to give a grandiose speech, a Paper Kingdom storyteller is what you need!

Origami Festival: If you visit the Paper Kingdom during their fall season, you might bear witness to the Origami Festival! While considered unorthodox and dangerous, Shapeshifters recognize origami as an incredibly powerful type of magic, allowing one to become anything their heart wish. As such, they have festivities centered around this concept that lasts a week, where they put up tons of different and incredible origami displays celebrating the concept.

-

How it fits in the game

For it’s location, it would be a decently sized island between the Luncheon Kingdom and Snow Kingdom, and would be the last place you go to before Bowser’s castle. From above, it would look rectangular, and most of it would be very elevated (think of a plateau, but in the middle of the ocean.) While it would seem small at first glance, the truth is that most of the earth is hollowed out, and there’s a lot of communities that live underground. You would be able to visit the two surface ones (Rogueport at the base of the plateau, and Castle of Chaos (Equivalent to Castle Bleck) on top of it) from the start, and at least one additional area under Castle of Chaos would unlock after the main story.

As for it’s place in the story, a wedding needs an officiant, and Bowser decided to get a storyteller from the Paper Kingdom because they’re known to give quite touching speeches. Bowser was originally planning to make his announcement of his marriage to Peach, take someone by force if he got denied, and leave the kingdom in disarray as punishment for denying him.

So you can imagine his surprise when not one, but two storytellers volunteered to be his officiant: Dimentio, royal jester and local agent of chaos who’s starting to find the current situation in the Paper Kingdom boring because it’s stagnating (albeit because they want to stop the hostilities temporarily for the upcoming Origami Festival), and the Beldam, eldest of the shadow Sirens and actively trying to resurrect the Shadow Queen. 

Let’s be clear, here: Neither of them are really interested in Bowser’s marriage, but both are after the power of the Chaos Heart, which has the potential to arise from this union: Dimentio to create even more chaos, and Beldam to harness it’s power and bring the Queen back to life. He picked the storyteller who had actual experience with being an officiant: Dimentio, who officiated multiple noble weddings- and left a fuming Beldam behind. In her rage, she decided to make the King of Koopas not choosing her as an evil marriage officiant everyone else’s problem and promptly started freezing everything in sight.

And that’s where Mario and Cappy come in, looking for Power Moons...

-

What’s going on?

A few weeks before Bowser shows up, the wedding of Blumiere, the son of an important count, and his human girlfriend Timpani (I don’t know from where she could be, probably New Donk CIty), was happening. However, in part due to a sinister prophecy that foretold the rebirth of the Chaos Heart if a furious monster lord (Blumiere is not human, and he has quite the unstable temperament) and a fair and lovely maiden (Timpani is a bit shy, cares for everything around her, and is nothing but kind) got married, and in part due to being a racist fuck, Blumiere’s father tried to stop the marriage by lethally attacking the bride.

Big mistake.

Blumiere ended up flying into a rage, messily killing his father with his bare hands and the assistance of a surge of magic, and destroyed the wedding venue. He then took Timpani, who was dying, to the origami craftsman, who earned himself a reputation of defying nature’s law by creating Olly and Olivia for an Origami festival, which was. Not planned. He then more or less forced him to heal his bride. 

The craftsman was absolutely able to say no: Olly brought to life multiple office supplies and all of them are ready to attack on sight, but he still went and healed up Timpani, albeit altering her physical appearance permanently due to having to heal her up using Origami Magic. Olly does not take his father being threatened into helping someone well, and barges into Castle of Chaos two weeks later and self-proclaim himself king with the assistance of the office supplies, which he dubs his Legion of Stationery, because of a perceived disrespect toward his family.

He is twelve.

Blumiere- who renamed himself Count Bleck following his father’s death- is understandably outraged, and denounces Olly with the support of his companions. Said companions are: his wife lady Timpani whom he (and most of the kingdom) adores, a small bat-like woman and his spokesperson Nastasia, the strong but dimwitted warrior and champion O’Chunks, the robotic but emotional Mimi who works in banking, and local shit-bastard jester Dimentio. This is due to Bleck being a direct descendant of one of the eight mages that sacrificed themselves, and he’s forced to make a claim to the throne to be taken seriously in trying to stop Olly.

He does not want to take the throne.

So now, there’s a twelve years old and a pissed off count who murdered his father in a blind rage fighting over the throne of the Paper Kingdom, neither of them know what they’re going to do next, and no one is happy about this situation. The instability allows a third party to make an appearance and grab for the throne: The X-Nauts, a race of robotic aliens led by the tyrannical Sir Grodus. Their goal? Resurrect the Shadow Queen and use her power to remake the Paper Kingdom, and eventually the planet, in their image.

The good news is that neither Olly nor Bleck want the X-Nauts to succeed. Bleck because he knows they’re planning on resurrecting the Shadow Queen and he does not want that to happen, and Olly because Grodus’ second in command was mean to Olivia once. This means that they are able to put their difference aside, which means there’s still hope an all-out civil war can be avoided.

Speaking of Olivia, poor girl think her brother went evil and wants to reign over the Paper Kingdom like a tyrant. This is understandable, as he’s a irritable twelve years boy with six killing machine at his command and also starting his emo edge lord phase, and she’s a literal ray of sunshine. As such, Olivia decided to find other people willing to stop Olly, Bleck and Grodus from burning the country to the ground in their squabble, not realizing that, as the leader of this group, she is also making .a claim for the throne.

She is also twelve.

And now, there’s Beldam losing her shit over being turned down and freezing everything into unmoving sheets on the walls. Ironically, this common enemy might just be what’s needed to calm everyone down.

[kbstories]

impression//expression

“It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone.”

(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)

Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Domestic Fluff, Bakusquad, An Extended Scene About The Joys And Pains of Dyeing Hair

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. No additional content warnings apply. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.

***

⚡💖⛰️🎸📼

You have added Best Bakubro 💣💥!

You have changed the name from “⚡💖⛰️🎸📼” to “⚡💖💣⛰️🎸📼”!

hehehe we’re all set (sent 12:10)

welcome baku!! 💪🏻 (sent 12:10)

- 

God 💡: 👀 (received 12:11)

Simply Mina: 👀👀 (received 12:11)

MT Tape: 👀 (received 12:11)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: shitty hair (received 12:13)

- 

you promised!!! (sent 12:13)

no take backs 👀 (sent 12:13)

- 

Best Bakubro 💣💥: fuck (received 12:13)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: okay two things (received 12:13)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: one i’m muting this so @ me or fuck off (received 12:14)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: two give me your names (received 12:14)

God 💡: wait srsly?? (received 12:15)

God 💡: c’mon bro it’s been months :( (received 12:15)

Simply Mina: yea wth blasty that’s so cold :(( (received 12:15)

MT Tape: answer the people explosion man @Best Bakubro 💣💥 (received 12:17)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: fine you’re staying random numbers then (received 12:18)

God 💡: OH (received 12:18)

God 💡: kaminari denki here!! (received 12:18)

MT Tape: this is sero 🙏🏻 (received 12:18)

Simply Mina: mina!!! (received 12:19)

Simply Mina: @Guitar Hero is kyoka 💖 (received 12:19)

* 

Best Bakubro 💣💥

who? (received 12:19)

-

jirou!! (sent 12:19)

-

? (received 12:19)

-

🔌 (sent 12:20)

-

ah (received 12:20)

* 

⚡💖💣⛰️🎸📼

Best Bakubro 💣💥: k (received 12:20)

God 💡: anyways (received 12:22)

God 💡: this is the best day of my life (received 12:22)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: shut it jolteon (received 12:22)

God 💡: dude i didn’t even @ u asdfkjsfk (received 12:22)

God 💡: wait omg is that an upgrade?? (received 12:23)

God 💡: did i get upgraded from pikachu to jolteon omg omg (received 12:23)

MT Tape: DIBS ON UMBREON (received 12:23)

MT Tape: we’re picking eeveelutions right? (received 12:23)

-

!!!! pls pls flareon pls!!! (sent 12:24)

-

Simply Mina: espeon or sylveon (received 12:24)

Simply Mina: espeon or sylveon??? (received 12:25)

Simply Mina: GUYS (received 12:25)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: this is a nightmare (received 12:25)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: and wtf espeon of course (received 12:26)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: better stats and none of that affection shit (received 12:26)

Simply Mina: the council has spoken (received 12:26)

-

what about flareon??? (sent 12:27)

plsplspls (sent 12:27)

-

Best Bakubro 💣💥: kirishima (received 12:27)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: it’s red. (received 12:28)

-

HELL YEAH ❤️ (sent 12:28)

-

Guitar Hero: hi what the HELL are you guys spamming about (received 12:30)

Guitar Hero: oh hey bakugou (received 12:30)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: plugs you’re glaceon (received 12:31)

Guitar Hero: i’m cool with that (received 12:31)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: good (received 12:31)

MT Tape: ok kiri i think i get it now (received 12:34)

MT Tape: putting every decision thru the baku filter is so much more fun (received 12:34)

- 

right??? (sent 12:34)

-

Best Bakubro 💣💥: don’t fucking start (received 12:35)

Simply Mina: too late <3 (received 12:35)

God 💡: our trap card activated the moment you stepped into this chat man (received 12:36)

MT Tape: Bakugou Katsuki has been designated Chief Executive Brain (CEB) of the squad, effective immediately. (received 12:36)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: i’m leaving (received 12:37)

-

:( (sent 12:37)

-

MT Tape: … 👀 (received 12:40)

MT Tape: he ain’t leaving huh? (received 12:44)

God 💡: kiri’s puppy eyes once again confirmed as world’s strongest force (received 12:45)

Simply Mina: it’s kiri so we’re all safe tho <3 (received 12:45)

-

<3 (sent 12:45)

-

Best Bakubro 💣💥: for the record i hate all of you (received 12:46)

*

⚡💖💣⛰️🎸📼

Simply Mina: hey hey blasty (received 14:48)

Simply Mina: which eeveelution are you? (received 14:48)

Simply Mina: @Best Bakubro 💣💥 (received 14:50)

God 💡: 👀👀 (received 14:50)

- 

👀 (sent 14:50)

-

MT Tape: 👀 (received 14:51)

Guitar Hero: ^ what they said (received 14:53)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: eevee, duh (received 14:56)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: i don’t need a type advantage to win (received 14:56)

-

😭 bro so manly (sent 14:56)

also (sent 14:57)

You have changed the name from “⚡💖💣⛰️🎸📼” to “🦊 Eevee Squad 🦊”!

-

Best Bakubro 💣💥: fucking fantastic. can we shut up now? (received 15:00)

*

Best Bakubro 💣💥

see? told u it’s fun 💪🏻 (sent 15:01)

-

i guess (received 15:02)

-

like i said u can just ignore the chat if ur not feeling it (sent 15:10)

they’re cool, they won’t mind (sent 15:10)

+ i’ll text u stuff directly if it’s important (sent 15:12)

-

kiri (received 15:12)

-

ok ok hhh just saying (sent 15:12)

- 

i know (received 15:13)

you got that shit for ectoplasm yet? (received 15:17)

-

ummm (sent 15:17)

-

fucking knew it (received 15:17)

you coming or what? (received 15:22)

-

!!! o7 (sent 15:22)

*

Bakugou is staring.

Eyes on the page, Kirishima tries to focus on the function he’s been struggling to get for fifteen minutes now. Something about tangents and right angles? No, cotangents, which is different from a non-cotangent tangent because–

Bakugou has stopped writing a while ago, the fabric-covered pen resting loosely in his hand, his head propped up on a fist.

–the cosine does… something with the sine of X. Division? Maybe? X pops up in a bunch of places, actually, and Kirishima longs for the days math still featured numbers and not whatever nonsense this cos-sin-tan stuff is–

Bakugou is staring right at him, has been for ages now and Kirishima can’t help it. He looks up, only to catch Bakugou looking away, and huffs a nervous chuckle.

“Bro, c’mon. What’s up? Is there something on my face ‘cause you’ve been–”

“It’s black.” There’s a pensive twist to Bakugou’s brow. He breezes through the part of the problem Kirishima’s stuck on like it’s nothing, scribbled down in permanent ink like the monster he is. “Your natural haircolor. It’s black, right?”

“Uh, yeah?”

Kirishima picks his head up from where he’s slumped across Bakugou’s desk, the bean bag he’s sitting on shifting under his butt. Since when does Bakugou care about his hair? It hasn’t been black for over a year, anyways, so what does that have to do with…

“Wait, why do you–”

Bakugou’s eyes wander back to him, landing on Kirishima’s hair for barely a second but it’s enough. With a mortified noise, Kirishima slaps both his hands over his forehead – or more specifically, his roots.

Because Kirishima completely forgot he’s overdue on a redye for a good week and styled his hair as he usually does: gel evenly spread into carefully towel-dried strands, quirk on until it dries, done. He hadn’t looked into a mirror before heading to class or he would’ve seen his tips straying from cherry red to berry pink.

And that jet-black line where it’s growing back out. The roots that are the bane of Kirishima’s existence and that Bakugou saw.

Kirishima groans, curling into himself until his head hits wood with a dull donk. “How bad is it? Don’t spare me, bro, I need to know.”

That rhymes, the part of his brain not burning in the hellfire of shame chimes in. Kirishima firmly tells it to shut up.

“Your hair?”, Bakugou asks from an unknown realm beyond the bit of desk Kirishima’s staring at, a beat late. Probably to treat him to a glare he can’t see.

Kirishima rubs his forehead across his math homework in a miserable nod.

“It’s not more or less shitty than usual, Shitty Hair.” Bakugou scoffs. “What’s the big deal?”

“Oh, nothing”, Kirishima shrugs, his voice a fake-cheerful mumble, “Just that I’ve been walking around like this all day. A whole ass day. Kill me, now.”

“Nah. Wasn’t the idea to ‘die like a man in chivalrous battle’?”

Kirishima shoots him a dirty look. Bakugou doesn’t even bat an eye; he flashes his teeth in a bright smile and knocks his fists against each other, whispering “manly” under his breath and okay, why does Bakugou have to be good at everything, including impersonating Kirishima?

“I hate you”, grumbles Kirishima. Bakugou breaks character to cackle, only stopping after Kirishima balls up his pitiful attempt at math to throw it at his head. Bull’s eye, right on the forehead.

“Oi! That’s your homework, moron.”

“You started it”, Kirishima points at him with his pencil. His notepad is pulled closer with a deep, long sigh. “Now I gotta do this stuff again and stress about my hair. Amazing.”

Ah, the God-help-me eyeroll. It’s been a while. “Just go fucking dye it and come back if it bothers you so much. Can’t be that hard.”

“Says the blond guy”, Kirishima huffs. “Dude, do you even know how long getting rid of this” – a gesture to his roots – “takes? Black hair is a pain to bleach. Literally.”

Bakugou considers his hair with a frown. “…How long are we talking here? Like, an hour?”

A laugh, louder than Kirishima intends. “Try three. Sometimes more, it depends.”

“Three hours?!”

“Or more.”

A little smug, Kirishima watches disbelief bloom on Bakugou’s face. When it comes to this, destroying the innocence of the uninitiated is the only joy he’s got. There’s really nothing fun about sitting through those hours every six weeks, give or take – just plain, boring routine. At least he isn’t anxious about making mistakes anymore, not like his first few times.

It’s definitely worth it, though. Kirishima loves his red hair.

“And it, what. It hurts?”

Bakugou is still processing it seems, a hand going to his own hair. (It looks so soft, that even light color Kirishima has envied since the beginning of time. Such a nice base for any type of dye, especially bright ones or pastels.)

Kirishima scrunches his nose. “The developer does, yeah. Anything over 9% makes your scalp burn like crazy so I stick to 9% and do multiple rounds. I can’t go light enough for the red I want, otherwise.”

“And then the dye?”

“Then you dye it, yeah. Roots first, then the lengths in small strands, let it sit for twenty more minutes or so, rinse it out and then you’re done.”

It’s weird to explain things that have become totally obvious to him step by step, but Bakugou looks strangely fascinated by what he’s hearing. He does likes things to be more complicated than simple in basically any regard, Kirishima muses with a private snicker. Perhaps it’s not that surprising, after all.

“I use pure red on everything but you can mix colors, too, there’s a whole science behind that. And if you decide ‘Hey, I haven’t suffered enough!’, you can do individual highlights as well. But that’s a production all in itself! Ask Kami, he does some wild things to get that lightning bolt just right.”

Bakugou slowly shakes his head. “You people are crazy. That can’t be worth it.” He squints at Kirishima, hums to himself and starts nodding, instead. Vaguely terrified of what’s brewing in that brain of his, Kirishima waits for him to finish thinking.

“Let’s do it.”

There it is, a suitably terrible idea. Also: What?

“Color or highlights?” Kirishima sputters. “Wait, you or me? Bro, I can live with my own mistakes but dyeing your hair is too much pressure. Like, I’ll do it if you really want me to but, um–”

“Color. And you, obviously. Who of us is freaking out about hair, huh? Sure as fuck ain’t me.”

I’m not freaking out about it, Kirishima wants to say. Okay, he had been freaking out a little. Maybe. Not anymore, not with the mental image of Bakugou with Riot-red hair sort of making his braincells implode.

It’s impossible to imagine. Kirishima tries to anyways, fails, shakes his head. Focus!

“But…”

He draws a blank. Actually, Bakugou helping him with his hair does sound kind of fun. Until his patience inevitably runs out and he explodes the pot of dye, or something. Which could be hilarious, too.

“…Homework?”

(Not that he particularly wants to go back to puzzling over non-tangent cotangents – Ectoplasm always seems to know when he didn’t do the thing, though, and Kirishima hates disappointing his teachers more than he does the variable X.)

Bakugou sparks off in his direction. “We got three hours. 'nuff said.” He snatches up the math book they were sharing, Kirishima’s notepad and even the pencil out of his hand, and is out the room before Kirishima has fully registered they’re doing this.

“Shitty Hair!”

Kirishima jumps to his feet.

“Coming!”

*

“This is so damn messy. How’s your bathroom not stained to hell already?”

Coming up on their third round over his bathroom sink, Kirishima feels little sleepy as he blinks up at Bakugou. That expression of intense concentration hasn’t budged all three rounds, Bakugou’s hands steady yet gentle where they’re starting to dab red dye over freshly bleached roots.

There’s a dot of crimson on his cheek already. After forcing gloves on Bakugou and explaining to him how red pigment is the hardest to wash out – on clothes, skin, hair, wherever it lands – Kirishima isn’t inclined to point it out to him just yet.

“I asked admin about it. They said everything in our rooms is practically indestructible, including the sinks.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah, right? They thought of everything, it seems.”

Bakugou continues. Kirishima dozes.

“Your hair is dry as fuck, by the way.”

Kirishima shrugs with his eyes closed, following the nudge to turn his head so Bakugou can get to the back. This is so much more comfortable than doing it by himself.

“Can’t be helped, man. The dye by itself is fine, actually, it’s the bleach that’s causes most of the damage. Oh well, with the gel it’s hard as concrete, anyways.”

“Mhmm. You’ll go bald by the time we’re outta here.”

“Hey!”

“Bald Hero: Red Riot”, Bakugou muses out loud, easily evading the kick Kirishima blindly aims at his shin. “Stop it, you’re gonna fuck up my hard work here.”

He’s smiling though, Kirishima can tell. It’s all in his voice, roughness replaced by warmth when it’s the two of them in Kirishima’s tiny bathroom.

“Stop dissing my hair, then. Besides, I know your secret.”

This Kirishima wants to see. He opens one eye and yup, Bakugou’s brows are doing the thing where they twitch and pull together. Not exactly a frown, more caught off guard than anything. Bakugou’s lips press shut, stubbornly silent as he brushes dye on every inch of Kirishima's hair.

Then: “I’m done. What am I s’posed to do with this shit?”

Kirishima glances at the pot Bakugou holds out to him. There’s still some of the thick liquid left.

“Just pour it on top. Can’t hurt and it’s better than throwing it away.”

Bakugou does exactly that. He tosses the empty pot and the thoroughly stained brush into the sink. Kirishima helps him wrap his hair in cellophane and a towel to reduce the possible mess, relocating to the closed lid of his toilet so Bakugou can take off the gloves and wash his hands.

“Okay, I’ll fucking bite. What secret?”

Lingering on the tension between them, Kirishima grins with all the confidence in the world. “That you like my hair.”

Bakugou barks a laugh. “After I went all Van Gogh on it? You better believe it’s good.”

“Nope, I mean before that”, Kirishima challenges.

“Proof?”, Bakugou shoots back without hesitation.

“Oh, I can give you proof.” Kirishima’s arms cross over the ratty shirt he always wears for this, its fabric dotted and streaked in interlacing shades of red. “One, it’s the first thing you noticed about me, hence ‘Shitty Hair’. Two, you were distracted by my roots growing in so you pay attention to how it looks–”

“I don’t–”

“–and three, you just spent hours dyeing it for me.”

Bakugou’s mouth snaps shut. He growls in his throat, grabbing an additional towel and drying his hands. Kirishima wasn’t aware those are actions that can be done aggressively but hey, he’s learning something new every day.

“Maybe”, Bakugou finally concedes. The towel is thrown in Kirishima’s face when all he does is smile. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

Bakugou’s cheeks are dusted pink. Still, Kirishima shows the guy some mercy: Bakugou spent all afternoon fixing both his hair and his math homework, after all.

“Hey, Baku?”

“… What?”

“Thanks, man. You’re a good friend, you know that?”

Somehow, that makes Bakugou look even more flustered. “Whatever, Shitty Hair.”

Because Bakugou is Bakugou, namely a man who doesn’t know when or how to quit, he sticks around until Kirishima can rinse out the dye. He emerges from the shower feeling fully restored, a towel wrapped around his waist and his shirt draped over his shoulder.

“And that’s how you do it.”

Bakugou throws him a look from his sprawl on Kirishima’s bed, manga in hand. His gaze flicks to his hair immediately; his lips twist upwards, obviously satisfied.

“Told ya, it ain’t hard.”

Kirishima chuckles, shakes his head. “You’re so full of shit, dude.”

Now that the hair situation is under control for a few weeks, he realizes how hungry he is. The evening has barely begun, too, which means there’s time for a movie before Bakugou’s ridiculous sleep schedule comes a-knocking, either taking him out or making him cranky. Each scenario has about a fifty-fifty chance of happening.

“Hey, you wanna–”

Out of nowhere, his door bursts open to reveal one Kaminari Denki, out of breath and clutching a very familiar book to his chest.

“Kiri! Please tell me you guys figured out the–”

His eyes fall first on the splattered shirt on Kirishima’s shoulder, the trails of watery red dripping from his hair to his naked chest – and then on Bakugou, hands stained a faint red despite the gloves, that smear of color on his cheek Kirishima forgot to tell him about still very much there.

“Is that blood? What happened? Oh my–” Kaminari gasps. “Did you kill somebody?! Oh fuck, we have to hide the bo–”

“Kami”, Kirishima tries between bouts of laughter, “No, what the hell!”

A familiar cackle behind him does absolutely nothing to help their case.

>>Chapter 8.

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Pointlessly pitching my idea for a Super Mario movie to people on the internet to make myself feel better after watching the Monster Hunter trailer.

Okay, so, here’s the shit.

So this movie actually begins in the live action “real world” where we meet Pauline who is running for mayor of New Donk city against local crazy man Ronald Rump. Pauline has been having weird dreams about being a little girl and kidnapped by a giant gorilla and rescued by a midget in a red hat and overalls.

One day though, Pauline is going about her business at home when a giant green pipe bursts out of the floor of her bathroom and Mario and Luigi, who are animated, jump out.

So M and L are like “Paulie! Is that you!? Wow, you’re all grown up! We need your help!” And Pauline is like “OMG you’re real! This’ll prove to my therapist I’m not crazy!”

So it turns out that when Pauline was a little kid she fell into Mario and Luigi’s world and fell into the middle of a kerfuffle between Mario and DK. Her dreams are actually memories.

So Mario and Luigi are like, “Bowser is planning to attack this world!” and Pauline is like “He knows we’ve got shit like nukes right?” and M and L are like “Bowser operates on Toon Physics.” And Pauline is like “good point.”

So they travel to the Mushroom Kingdom and they have a bunch of adventures travelling to Bowser’s Castle, teaming up with Peach and Daisy and DK who apologizes for the whole child kidnapping thing. Anyway, Pauline is on a time crunch because she’s got to get to the final debate between her and Rump.

When they finally get to Bowser’s castle they fight the big turtle guy but its too late and Bowser invades New Donk City. The heroes chase him but Mario gets captured and Bowser clibs to the top of the tallest building in New Donk. Pauline has to essentially do what Mario did for her with the help of her new friends and jump up the tower and defeat Bowser.

Anyway, Pauline uses a Power Star to defeat Bowser, everyone celebrates, and Pauline gets elected Mayor of New Donk City, the end.

(Also there’s an aftter credits scene where Wario and Waluigi bust Bowser out on a mysterious employer’s orders.)

[redwineconversation]

Sara Bjork Gunnarsdottir vs. Olympique Lyonnais Legal Case Analysis

I'd ask certain blogs to stay in their lane next time but why do that when they can just trash a team they know nothing about for a case they don't understand?

So let's do a recap of the case: Olympique Lyonnais ("Lyon") signs Sara Bjork Gunnarsdottir ("SBG") in August 2020. This is in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, which is a factor later on. SBG learns she is pregnant early March 2021, tells the team in April 2021, goes back to Iceland, gives birth there, and returns to Lyon January 2022, plays her first game back with Lyon in March 2022. Upon her return she is faced with significantly reduced playing time. She leaves at the end of her contract (June 2022) for Juventus.

In the meantime, we have the following timeline: after her return to Iceland, Lyon starts withholding her paychecks before eventually paying her a decreased salary. In the interim, head coach Jean-Luc Vasseur is replaced by Sonia Bompastor in April 2021. Lyon signed midfielders Catarina Macario and Damaris in January 2021, Danielle van de Donk in June 2021, and Lindsey Horan in January 2022. This is also relevant later on.

SBG goes to FIFA/FIFPRO and argues that Lyon deliberately withheld her wages allegedly out of spite for becoming pregnant. There were also allegations of being mistreated by the staff. She argues that Lyon failed to abide by FIFA regulations. Lyon argues that they are bound by French law, not FIFA, since Lyon is a French business entity based in France.

SBG wins her case, Lyon pays her the remaining amount of her salary, and this is settled in May 2022. The ruling however becomes public in January 2023 and SBG writes a scathing article laying out Lyon's shortcomings in full.

Now it's easy to look at SBG's essay and be appalled. Lyon did withhold wages! From a pregnant woman at that! She returned and was faced with reduced playing time! The board was hostile! Really, Lyon comes across as monsters in that essay. I'm not going to sit here and pretend I wasn't appalled.

But I was also surprised, because her accusations didn't sound like Lyon at all. This is the most successful women's club in the world. Aulas is very explicit in his support for women's football. And yet Lyon did all that? Just seemed really odd, and concerning.

So I dug a little deeper and it turns out that Lyon basically lost on a technicality. Even the ruling noted that Lyon wasn't actually wrong, and if it wasn't for the FIFA mandate which came into affect January 2021, Lyon would have won their case instead.

Now keep in mind what I said earlier: Lyon's argument was that they were a French entity whose business operations were based in France and therefore were bound by French law. That meant that SBG's paycheck was determined, in their eyes, by French employment laws.

And let's go back over the timeline: SBG learns she is pregnant in March 2021 but only tells the board and the team in April 2021 (the medical staff were made aware in March 2021 but kept it confidential). Claiming legitimate fears of COVID, SBG returns to Iceland in April 2021 but doesn't give birth until November 2021.

Lyon argued that the period of April 2021 to November 2021 was not maternity leave but simply leave, which, under French law, meant that they did not have to pay. It was only her actual maternity leave that they would have to cover in full (November 2021 - January 2022). Lyon also argued that she hadn't been at the club for 12 months, meaning that she wasn't protected by "statute" protecting longterm players.

Where Lyon lost the case was on the technicality of employment. Lyon argued that SBG since (1) never asked for a form of alternative employment (eg communications) immediately after the pregnancy was confirmed [she only did so in August 2021, 4 months after the pregnancy was confirmed] and (2) went to Iceland, the FIFA regulation which came into effect January 2021 could not be applied, and therefore French law would dominate.

FIFA ruled in SBG's favor because they determined it was Lyon's "duty" to have informed SBG of the financial repercussions, which they failed to do. FIFA argued that the club's duty to inform the player is predominant over the player's duty to inform themselves. FIFA also argued that SBG was negligent in her own duty to inform herself of the statutes in question. The FIFA regulations set forth in January 2021 stated the protection for pregnant players kicked in once the pregnancy was officially confirmed to the club.

Lyon also contested further allegations in the dispute. SBG argues that there was radio silence from the club; Bompastor said in an interview that was inaccurate, that both Abily and Segui had followed up with SBG during her time in Iceland.

Bompastor also argued that the reduced playing time was a coaching decision and reflective of Lyon's roster rather than retribution towards SBG. She points out that Lyon's midfield was significantly more stacked than when SBG had left on (maternity) leave and there would be increased competition for playing time. Bompastor also confirmed that she was the one who decided not to extend SBG's contract and remained firm it was for sporting reasons, not a personal vendetta.

Lyon also put out a statement: their support structure remained the same for both SBG and Amel Majri ("Majri"). Lyon argued they did offer to pay the full costs of a nanny and would allow the infant to travel with SBG during away games. But they wanted to do a test first to see how it would work and what adjustments would need to be made. SBG objected on the grounds that she didn't want to be an experiment; Lyon argued that same structure remained in place for Majri, and it was a question of logistics, not discriminatory. There is nothing to suggest that Majri's away trip with her daughter was anything other than Lyon trying to sort out the same logistical issues they had anticipated with SBG's case.

So it comes down to this: Lyon lost the case on a technicality. FIFA regulations, put in place in January 2021 (3 months before SBG knew of her pregnancy and 4 months before SBG alerted the club), said that it was the club's obligation to notify the player of any economic ramifications of going on maternity leave and the club's obligation to offer "alternative employment". Because they didn't, SBG was therefore entitled to her normal salary.

Had that ruling not been in effect in January 2021, Lyon would have won their case.

So I think this is important: Lyon wasn't being the vindictive sociopaths so many WSL blogs are suddenly claiming. It came down to a case of jurisdiction which ended up being won on a technicality.

EDIT - added the important part of the ruling for all the Tumblr JDs out there.

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e3a: tokyo grows

episode summary: inexplicably existing in post-war japan, brain hijacks a shrink ray he just found laying around in order to make it a growth ray. he intends to dress pinky up as terrifying local monster gollyzilla, and pretend to defeat him, so the japanese people... elect him... president. of. japan.

all i’m gonna say is shinzo abe’s replacement has a hell of a lot coming to him if that’s a job requirement.

the rundown:

IT IS TOKYO IN 1956.

you can tell because it says “tokyo 1956″ in big letters at the bottom of the screen.

as we take a detour into acmeshito labs, senior-ly produced by tom ruegger,

we see a fellow sacrificing his shoes to the shoe gods. (sorry about that weird line at the bottom. vlc player has just decided it’s doing that now, i guess. nothing i can do about it.)

inside, some other lads, who have all been produced by peter hastings (my, the man gets around) are shrinking tvs for fun and giggles.

“at last! professor mifune! you have perfected the process of shrinking electronic devices, so we can sell them to americans for a lot of money!”

hm.

“yes, shimura, and now i say to you! miniturisation will be very,

BIG.”

and then they both shuffle over to stand in front of each other and laugh in a weird stilted way.

HA. HAHAHA. HAHAHA. i’m not sure if this is making fun of japanese people, or a common trend in japanese media (or voice acting?) at the time, but, um, i’m uncomfortable.

thankfully, the newly miniturised radio advertises that Legendary Prehistoric Monster Gollyzilla has been spotted, and apparently

the emperor wants mifune’s scientific opinion on gollyzilla

GOLLYZILLA

so maybe it’s best for mifune and shimura to get the fuck out of dodge.

so the two of them make a hasty retreat - after toeing their shoes back on, of course.

but who are these two!

brain looks pensive. i don’t know what’s in that waterbottle, but he’s having a tiny mousie crisis. pinky is narfing at him with little to no concern for his mental state.

still, crisis or not, brain has a world to take over. he mentions to pinky that the scentific equipment before them will be “invaluable for his plan to”

“TAKE OVER THE WORLD.” we really do get one per episode, huh.

“you mean you’re going to shrink down all the electronic so only mice can operate them?”

which is a reasonable idea, i think. brain counters it with “don’t be absurd, pinky, there’s no future in minaturisation,” and clarifies that is is big things that strike fear into the hearts of humans.

like that ridiculous legend of gollyzilla. <gay little hands on hip pose>

as pinky ponders whether Kay Ballard is In The Union (sorry, pinky, she’s dead) brain explains that his intent is to alter the shrink ray into a growth ray, to “become a four hundred foot tall mouse and save the world from gollyzilla.”

“but you just. said there was no such thing as gollyzilla, brain.”

“there is now, pinky.”

did we really need another closeup for that line, guys? really? is it not enough to have the mouse say his lines without shoving the camera into his face? must the man deepthroat the camera every time he has things to say?

anyway brain’s plan is to dress pinky up as gollyzilla and “save tokyo” from him. you can tell because the camera angle makes it look like his head is on gollyzilla’s body.

this random man takes a toke from his old timey pipe. “yes, i see.” he says. this is not explained.

as brain reverses the shrink ray into a growth ray, pinky makes his debut.

TADAAAAAAA POIT.

“what do you think, brain? pretty scaaaaaaary, eh?”

“yes, pinky. terrifying. stand by.”

boop.

there probably won’t be a lot left of the lab when brain is done, unfortunately.

but hey! check this out!

“narf.”

“where are you, brain? i can’t see you.”

“i’m down--”

bonk.

well, he’s clearly dead, so i guess that’s this review over.

jokes, of course. lucky for us, brain is still alive, and he has brought a little megaphone with him! awwww.

“now, go on your rampage, gollyzilla!” he’s very hype for that, it appears. pinky tries his best not to disappoint.

NARF POIT I AM PINKZILLA KING OF THE MONSTERS

AARGHGGHGHH RAAARGHGHG ARGH.

it’s this random man again. “yesss, i see.” i don’t know who he is, or why he’s here, and i am scared.

but never mind him. we cut to this adorable straight couple chilling on this bridge.

“i love you, fumiko.”

“and i love you, hershel.”

awwww.

unfortunately, famously heterophobic legendary monster gollyzilla is here. “hello!” he says, cheerily. “i’m on a rampage. narf.”

fumiko and hershel get the fuck out of dodge.

still, pinky’s having fun, and that’s what matters.

though bits of his costume are coming off.

“oooh, i can’t see through this thing!”

“oh.”

“oh no! the giant monster is moulting!”

rip that guy, i guess. upon attempting to recover his lost glove, pinky accidentally spikes his tail on a nearby building in the process.

“egad. i’m all a tangle!”

he gives it a yank, for good measure,

and ends up catapulting himself into the abyss.

the random man is back. “yesss, i see,” he says. what does he want? what is he doing here? please don’t smoke in front of me, sir. i have real bad asthma.

meanwhile, brain is making himself “the largest mouse on earth, and hero of the planet.”

donk.

this frame is terrifying so obviously i’m making everyone look at it.

“people of tokyo! do not fear! i, brainodo, have come to save you!”

i’m not sure they’re convinced. the army have shown up, by this point.

“it’s another giant monster! even more ugly than gollyzilla!”

rude.

brain suggests that, perhaps, he is actually an artificially enlarged labmouse here to save them from gollyzilla, and maybe they could thank him by making them emperor.

the military do not agree.

so, yknow, maybe it’s best that he goes to look for pinky.

“how can i save the city from gollyzilla with no gollyzilla!” yells brain, as he steps on a school bus and either, 1, kills like 40 children, or 2, ruins the setpiece for melanie martinez’s 2019 music video “wheels on the bus.”

(no one’s watching us don’t give a fuck wheels on the bus ou ou)

anyway it’s a good thing that pinky has decided to spontaniously burst out of this lake. man’s really commiting to the role, huh.

again, he’s having fun.

brain is less impressed.

after admonishing pinky for running off,

brain reminds him to “make the battle look realistic”. their plan, of course, depends on it.

TAKE THAT, YOU HORRIBLE BEAST

ouch.

pinky sure is putting a weird amount of effort into this battle. and pyrotechnics??? yeah.

bonk.

bonk.

yeet.

as brain unflomphs himself, and prepares to strike back, pinky comes over to see what’s going on.

“scuse me, brain.”

“go away, pinky. can’t you see i’m fighting with pinky?”

“oh, but. wait.”

“how can you be fighting with me over there, if i’m over here?”

“it’s a very simple principle, pinky! it’s because!”

“that’s the real gollyzilla.”

and by the looks of things, he’s not very happy.

conclusion:

pinky’s first instinct, upon seeing The Real Gollyzilla (please stand up, please stand up) brandishing a building at them, is to pick brain up and flee in terror.

it’s very cute. he just scoops him up and nopes him away. not today, gollyzilla. not today.

gollyzilla, unfortunately, seems pretty bloody determined to make it today.

unfortunately, in his quest to deliver brain to safety, pinky walks right into a pylon.

bonk. they fall over. ):

and unfortunately, they fell directly onto what was once acmeshito labs, which activates the growth ray in the process.

it’s this guy again.

who are you??? what the fuck do you want?? why are you just smoking your pipe and looking at me like that and saying yesss, i seeeee. what do you see??? did the newslady send you??? what do you want from me??????

he gets shot by the growth ray. good. die.

the mice, as you can imagine, are not having a great time of things right now.

gollyzilla is fully prepared to bonk them on the head.

but oh! what is this?

random man? is that you? are you our hero, random man? is this your redemption arc?

do you see now, random man? what do you see?

well, he just yeeted a building, so jot that down.

he seems to be preparing himself to yeet gollyzilla, too.

same.

the mice duck out of the way as the fearsome creature is launched like an olympic sport. good thing tokyo 2020 got cancelled, i guess.

air lizard. nyoom. unfortunately they land on the remains of acmeshitu labs,

and nudges the growth ray in the process.

it goes a bit haywire.

the mice look on, perturbed, as it starts firing at random objects.

like this building.

and that fire hydrant.

and that building.

and this, uh.

city?

um????

oh dear.

at least acmeshito labs is going back in for repairs.

“it’s a shame we’re not giant any more, brain.”

“we are, pinky. unfortunately, so is everything else. our relative smallness remains.”

alright. that’s the end of that one, i guess. that’s going down as a solid outside influence.

brain: 5 ½ pinky: 6 ½ outside influence: 11

brilliant, brain!

but oh, wait, no. is earth like, 400 times its’ previous size, now? surely that can’t be good for the universe????

what are your thoughts, bbc science focus?

well. that’s not good.