#monster attacks. maybe people will start to form factions or something to protect their own...

[goldfishshithead]

thinking about an au where the Hero Association does not exist...

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Hack-San

You know, it's honestly amazing how creative this show can get. After four seasons and almost one hundred episodes, the writers are still finding new ways to make Adrien an incredibly unlikable character, and they don't even know how much of an asshole they're making him out to be at times. It's kind of like the opposite of The Producers.

Yeah, this review's going to be a little more ranty than usual, in case you can't tell.

Let's get into the fifteenth (chronologically the sixteenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Hack-San

We start off with Marinette pretending to be sick so she doesn't have to go to visit her aunt in London and stay to protect Paris in case an Akuma attacks and also because the animators haven't had time to render the city of London yet for the next Miraculous World special. Like all of her other excuses, it fails, and Tikki, as always, fails to actually give any meaningful advice.

And it's not like there's a Miraculous with the power of teleportation that can help Marinette get back to Paris if she needs to, much like how she planned to do that in an earlier episode, right?

Seriously, Kaalki doesn't appear or isn't even mentioned in this episode because the writers are fully aware she would make things a lot easier.

And of course, Astruc had to play dumb on Twitter while explaining why Marinette couldn't use the Horse Miraculous by answering the question as if the only reason Marinette couldn't grab it was because she didn't have an excuse not to.

Cut to Gabriel in his lair as he contemplates akumatizing Markov, a robot created the civilian identity of Pegasus, Max Kante, once again, even though the last time he did so, he almost got killed when he went all HAL 9000 on his ass. Nooroo explains this to Duusu, and the two actually get excited at the prospect of their master getting killed.

I mean, it's true, but he shouldn't say it...

But I don't even get why Gabriel is even thinking about this when it's a no-brainer. Markov's akumatized form, Robustus was to this day, the only Akuma to come close to physically harming him (not counting the timeline where he was killed by Cat Blanc), so it makes no sense to try doing it again, especially when there are already several other Akumas he can reuse this season.

I think you all know Gabriel isn't the smartest villain, which is why he thinks it's a brilliant idea to akumatize Markov again. I don't really get what makes Robustus so special when there are other Akumas who are more loyal and came far closer to getting Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous than Robustus did, like the Dark Owl or Troublemaker. In fact, why not simply create a new Akuma with similar powers to Robustus, or better yet, just create a Sentimonster copy of Robustus? You know, like what Nathalie did in the New York Special? We're not even two minutes in, and this premise is already filled with plotholes.

So Gabriel transforms into Shadowmoth and creates a Sentimonster using his own cane instead of relying on someone else having a bad day (once again showing how the Peacock Miraculous is better than the Butterfly), the titular Hack-San. And let's just say he has a very familiar design reminiscent of something from a much better French cartoon.

Remember when the writers for Code Lyoko gave an in-universe explanation as to why the heroes couldn’t always rely on the almost literal Deus ex Machina that allowed them to return to the past and fix the damage XANA caused? Why couldn’t this show have ripped that off instead?

Hack-San is just an okay looking flash drive on its own, but I'll talk more about this guy in a little bit.

After a brief scene in the park where the audience is reminded that Markov is a character who exists, Alya gets a text from Marinette telling her to meet her at the train station. Right before she leaves, Marinette gives the Ladybug Miraculous to Alya. Now a lot people have said that Alya doesn't really deserve the Ladybug for various reasons, but I feel like this was the point. Marinette outright says this was a last resort, and we see both her and Alya are nervous about the situation. Marinette worries Alya will do something so she keeps sending multiple tips to her via text while Alya worries she can't fight an Akuma on her own, so she tries to make sure none of her friends get upset and attract an Akuma in the process. The writers do a pretty good job showing how both Marinette and Alya are uncomfortable with their temporary roles.

Back to Gabriel and Nathalie, they use Hack-San to find Markov through the internet and hack into him to get him angry enough that he's vulnerable to Shadowmoth's influence. Hey, uh... Gabriel? Quick question: Wouldn't it be more efficient if you used this on humans? I mean, you basically just created Skynet and guaranteed yourself an Akuma, so why not modify Hack-San to travel through the internet and brainwash potential victims to follow your orders? Better yet, why don't you just use Hack-San to hack into Ladybug and Cat Noir's gear and figure out who they really are? This is basically like using an advanced particle accelerator just to crack a couple walnuts. There are a lot more important things you could use this for instead of an incredibly specific situation.

So this incredibly stupid plan gets under way as Markov keeps rampaging through the streets before Shadowmoth akumatizes him and then stupidly tells him that he infected him with a virus.

DUDE! You just gave away your one piece of leverage against him! What the hell were you thinking?! Now what's stopping Markov from hacking into Shadowmoth's security system and putting the fear of God in his eyes unless he destroys Hack-San? Why didn't he design Hack-San so it could make Markov completely loyal to him instead of just making him angry enough to get akumatized?

There was a recent episode of Power Rangers: Dino Fury with a very similar premise that was done far better than this. A necromancer called Reaghoul breaks into the headquarters of Void Knight's faction while accompanied by Lord Zedd, a villain from the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers who was cleansed of his evil by Zordon's sacrifice before Reaghoul resurrected him back when he was still evil. Of course, being the Emperor of Evil, Lord Zedd would normally never take orders from anyone, but because he doesn't have his magic staff and is also being forced to wear a special collar that makes him loyal to Reaghoul, he has no choice but to do what he says. Instead of taking Zedd head-on after he captures the other Rangers, Ollie, the Blue Ranger, breaks the collar so Zedd turns against the other Sporix while Reaghoul retreats, allowing Ollie to save the other Rangers.

I think that this premise works more because 1) Reaghoul clearly had a way to make sure Zedd wouldn't betray him, and Ollie took advantage of that, and 2) Zedd is a villain who is powerful and notorious enough to bring back to your side, not a random monster of the week like Robostus.

So Robostus uses his new powers to brainwash any human who answers his call to give up their most precious possession, clearly meant to do the same with Ladybug and Cat Noir. When Marinette's parents answer the call, they chase after Marinette because they say she's their most important possession. Okay... kind of strange for a set of parents to call their child a possession, but maybe they like how they can claim Marinette as a dependent when they file their taxes. In her very next scene later on, she still gets captured, so the suspense for a potential subplot is killed almost immediately.

Alya thankfully isn't stupid enough to answer Markov's call like every other citizen in this episode, and using the Ladybug Miraculous, transforms into Scarabella. While I don't normally talk about transformation sequences, I really like the movements Alya makes here. She makes the same motions creating her mask as she does when transforming into Rena Rouge, while the rest of the suit forms similarly to the way it does when Marinette transforms into Ladybug. She even makes almost the same pose Ladybug does after she finishes transforming. It's a good visual showing Alya is still more used to being Rena Rouge while doing her best to emulate what Ladybug does.

As for the actual suit? It's hard to say. There's a nice balance of red and black, and I like how Alya places the yo-yo on her waist like a belt buckle, but there's just something... off about the suit that a lot of fans don't like about it, and I think I realized it. It's the headband. With how it's positioned, it looks like it's merged with the mask to cover her head while leaving a slight gap in her forehead. So yeah, we actually have a superhero design that's like of like a butterface.

So Scarabella takes to the rooftops of Paris and struggles to come up with a hero name for herself before she runs into Cat Noir, and... ugh... oh boy, this is dumb. Cat Noir, being just as intelligent as his father, assumes Scarabella is either and Akuma or a Sentimonster, starts fighting her, AND THEN ACTIVATES HIS CATACLYSM, CLEARLY TRYING TO KILL HER.

WHAT. THE. FUCK???

Okay, to be fair, it has been shown that Cataclysm won't necessarily kill a Miraculous user or Sentimonster. In the episode “Miraculer”, the titular Akuma stole Cat Noir's Cataclysm and used it against him, and while it didn't kill Cat Noir, it still hurt like hell and crippled him for the rest of the fight until Miraculous Ladybug healed him. We also saw in “Reflekdoll” that Cataclysm drove the titular Sentimonster out of control rather than simply destroying it. So yes, it could be interpreted that Cat Noir wasn't exactly trying to kill Scarabella, just incapacitate her the best he can without Ladybug's help.

Here's the thing: What if he was facing an Akuma instead and decided to try and Cataclysm her? He still could have killed her, or (assuming Akumas have the same protection as Miraculous heroes do) at best, seriously hurt her. I understand that he has the right to be upset at seeing some stranger instead of his partner considering Shadowmoth has a history of using evil doppelgangers, and both Marinette and Alya still had options to explain it to him (Marinette could have quickly transformed into Ladybug and sent Cat Noir a quick text saying she was being forced to leave town for a few days and temporarily trusted someone else with the Ladybug Miraculous until she got back, while Scarabella could have said she was Rena Rouge and explained the same thing while showing Cat Noir she had the Fox Miraculous to prove herself), but that doesn't even come close to justifying him attempting to harm someone who isn't even trying to fight. It's even worse when you remember the whole reason Adrien gave up his Miraculous and bailed on Ladybug in the New York Special was because he was overcome with grief from accidentally killing Aeon, so it's good to know he learned absolutely nothing from that experience.

So Scarabella thankfully summons her Lucky Charm, a trash can lid, to shield herself from Cat Noir's Cataclysm, and then despite having absolutely no experience with this new set of powers, manages to do the one thing almost every Akuma or Sentimonster in this show has failed to do and incapacitates Cat Noir so he's vulnerable to losing his Miraculous. At least when Marinette masters every other Miraculous she uses, it can be theorized that she trained to use them offscreen. Alya literally just got the Ladybug Miraculous (and struggled to get up to the rooftop with her yo-yo to show her inexperience earlier), and now she easily manages to pin down the more experienced hero of the two?

Here's an idea: Instead of having Scarabella overpower Cat Noir, have her be in a position where Cat Noir, non-lethally, mind you, manages to almost take her Miraculous away, but she uses the quick wit she's developed from her extensive time as Rena Rouge to convince Cat Noir she's the real deal by saying something only he and Ladybug know. It would have easily resolved the conflict and doesn't make one of the characters look like a homicidal idiot.

So because both heroes used their powers, Scarabella and Cat Noir detransform so Tikki and Plagg can recharge, though Adrien still gives Alya attitude because Ladybug didn't tell him she had to leave.

Hey, Adrien? Here's the thing...

YOU DID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING IN THE NEW YORK SPECIAL, YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS!

You have absolutely NO RIGHT to claim you're always honest when you went behind Ladybug's back and endangered Paris while you had the balls to run away like a coward and only helped fix the consequences of your actions once your ego was validated by a recording of Ladybug. It's honestly even worse because while Marinette had no choice but to leave and trust Alya with the Ladybug, Adrien willingly left Paris alone and we were supposed to sympathize with him after he killed someone, and now as soon as he's in the opposite situation, we're still supposed to feel bad for him?! BULLSHIT! And you better believe I'm going to talk about the way Adrien views his partnership with Ladybug later on.

And of course, even though lives are on the line, Cat Noir just has to continue to bitch and moan about how (and this is best read in Linkara's whiny Superboy Prime voice) “sCaRaBeLlA iSn'T tHe ReAl LaDyBuG”, showing how just like in so many episodes, Astruc and his team believes Cat Noir's feelings are more important than saving the day.

Scarabella goes to rescue some civilians, but they were actually brainwashed by Robustus, once again showing her inexperience as Ladybug which doesn't go well with her effortlessly defeating Cat Noir earlier at all. Cat Noir helps Scarabella escape and the two hide out at the city's wax statue museum previously featured in “The Puppeteer 2”, because I guess the writers only want to reference bad episodes today. Cat Noir, not getting the importance of secret identities, asks Scarabella how she knows Ladybug, and Cat Noir somehow finds out she knows Ladybug's identity from her response.

Before the two can talk more, it turns out that the wax statues of celebrities in the museum are real people who attack the two heroes, leading to an awkward fight scene where Scarabella and Cat Noir fight a bunch of brainwashed civilians with no weapons beyond their cellphones. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!

Scarabella summons her Lucky Charm again, creating a frying pan, but when she looks around, she can't see how to properly use it. And despite spending the entire episode complaining about how much he hates her, it's Cat Noir that tells Scarabella to get her head back in the game because “That's what Ladybug would do”. Funny, I can think of a few situations where Cat Noir could have taken his own advice, but I digress. Also, he's now just cool with Scarabella because there's only a few minutes left in the episode and we need to wrap up the conflict.

Scarabella figures out an idea that involves freeing Marinette, so she negotiates with Robostus to free everything and everyone under his control or else Cat Noir will use his Cataclysm to destroy the Ladybug Miraculous. Robostus agrees and empties his hard drive, and to show them holding up her end of the bargain, Scarabella gives him the frying pan before she and Cat Noir let themselves be captured... while Marinette simply hits Robostus with the frying pan, freeing the Akuma and the two heroes. All in all, it's a really creative climax that shows both Scarabella and Marinette in perfect sync with each other even though they never discussed their plan. Though of course, because Astruc hates writing any scene with Ladynoir, Cat Noir gets a bucket stuck on his head so he doesn't see Marinette saving the day.

Scarabella de-evilizes Robostus, uses Miraculous Scarabella to fix everything and send Marinette back to the train, and because Hack-San already failed once, Shadowmoth can't use it for a different plan so he destroys the Sentimonster.

We cut to a few days after the trip (I guess Shadowmoth decided to take a vacation himself), and Alya tells Marinette to talk with Cat Noir about what happened.

This scene was so close to ending this episode off on a positive note. There was a good atmosphere and the body language of Ladybug and Cat Noir does a good job at telling us how uncomfortable they both feel while talking. It's just that instead of getting a heart to heart between the two about the lack of trust in their relationship, we get an Angstdrien Depreste scene. Or would a more accurate term be Cat Dour?

First off, while I don't have a problem with Ladybug apologizing for not telling Cat Noir, the episode never has him bring up what happened with Scarabella. As usual, both of them were partially at fault, but only Ladybug had to apologize for leaving her “Kitty” alone.

Second, Cat Noir’s feelings weren’t hurt? You’re telling me that in scenes like this...

And this...

Didn’t show Adrien acting irrationally because of how emotional he was? Is he really telling the truth around Ladybug or is he just trying to sweep that under the rug so Scarabella’s testimony doesn’t screw up his chances with Ladybug?

Third, this was an obvious chance to Cat Noir to finally be honest and tell Ladybug how he feels about her leaving him in the dark about so many things, but the entire conversation is just about how sad he would be if he never sees Ladybug again. Even though the whole reason he was so pissy to Scarabella at first was because of some lingering resentment for Ladybug ignoring him in favor of other heroes, why is this what the two talk about? I get it's not the season finale, but it's kind of hypocritical for Cat Noir to whine about how Ladybug doesn't trust him while never being honest about his own feelings? Sure, he's all soft and vulnerable around Ladybug, but we've seen all season how angry he gets about her not trusting him whenever she isn't around, so ironically, it's hard to tell if this is him being honest or not.

And I think now's a good time to finally talk about the way Ladybug and Cat Noir's partnership has been portrayed all season, especially since the main themes of the episodes relate to it. Buckle up, Adrien stans, because this isn't going to be pretty.

All season, we have been supposed to sympathize with Adrien as Marinette starts to trust Alya with more things than him. Marinette revealed her identity to her, trusted her to have her Miraculous permanently, and even let her keep her Miraculous even though someone else knew her identity. While some of it is hypocritical, the idea is that Adrien feels like he can be trusted with this kind of knowledge too, when really, he hasn't earned that responsibility.

Adrien has rarely, if ever, taken his job as a superhero seriously.

Not only is he known to flirt with Ladybug in the middle of a fight, he has defied her orders and recklessly sacrificed himself because he thinks Ladybug can do all the work without him.

He has also lashed out emotionally and once threatened to quit being Cat Noir in the middle of a crisis and was willing to let innocent people suffer for personal reasons, and later on actually quit being Cat Noir temporarily while Hawkmoth was about to start World War III because he was wallowing in self-pity.

He once said he isn't cut out for the responsibility that comes with being Ladybug and never learned anything from temporarily using the Ladybug Miraculous.

He has generally refused to respect Ladybug's boundaries and doesn't understand that she doesn't like him that way while he insists they should be a couple.

He outright fell for an evil doppelganger of Ladybug because she said she loved him and turned against the real Ladybug.

And I should also mention that despite hating how Ladybug keeps secrets from him, a lot of Adrien's worst moments have been when Ladybug wasn't around and he never told her about them.

He never told Ladybug that he was the reason Copycat really got akumatized while saying he never lies to her.

He never told Ladybug he contemplated letting thousands of people die because he didn't like not knowing stuff Ladybug knew.

He never told Ladybug he briefly used the Snake Miraculous to get brownie points with her.

He never told Ladybug he figured out her identity and asked her out as soon as he did so.

He never told Ladybug he abandoned Paris to go on a field trip.

He never told Ladybug he was screwing around on patrol and was excited to see someone get akuamtized if it meant spending time with her.

He never told Ladybug how he ignored Rena Rouge's orders because “ShE wAsN't LaDyBuG” and almost screwed up the mission because of it, and also never told her how he smashed a chimney in anger at Rena Rouge being in on the plan.

And he never told Ladybug he gave her replacement attitude after trying to harm her without letting her explain herself.

Why exactly should I support the idea of Ladybug trusting Cat Noir more when Cat Noir himself has kept his own secrets from Ladybug?

Adrien has done absolutely nothing to show he is trustworthy because more often than not, he views the battle with Shadowmoth as a game. He has screwed around when lives were on the line, and we're supposed to see him as responsible? It's kind of funny that Astruc compared Ladybug to Spider-Man, yet he seems to have forgotten that with great power, there must also come great responsibility. If this was a character flaw or a sign he needed to grow up, I'd be more accepting, but the fact that the writers think Adrien is a great superhero is laughable with how much evidence has proved the contrary.

In contrast, Alya, despite only being Marinette's confidant for a few episodes, has shown to take being a hero more seriously. She's helped her escape to transform, analyze the Guardian texts, and has been shown to work well on her own as Rena Rouge while helping out Marinette. I'm not trying to say she's an amazing character (“Rocketear” in particular has shown she still has problems with keeping secrets), but compared to Adrien, she seems to be more capable of handling top-secret information with Marinette, and more importantly, doesn't view being Rena Rouge as a way to have fun like Adrien does being Cat Noir. I'll go more into detail with that next time.

But yeah, this scene is how the episode ends, and what did I think of it?

I'm honestly not sure which episode I think is worse, this one or “Queen Banana”. On the one hand, every frame of “Queen Banana” could easily be replaced by an image of Astruc flipping the bird and the overall message of the episode would remain unchanged, but the fact that all of the writers think that everything Adrien does in this episode is okay and that we should feel sorry for him in this episode is just as bad, if not worse. 

As awful as Chloe was portrayed in “Queen Banana”, it was clear it was intentional on the writers' part, but Adrien doesn't get that excuse once much like he has all season. As far as Astruc's team thinks, Adrien is an incredible superhero even when he honestly attempted to harm someone with a superpower that can cause grievous harm at best. Yet again this season, in the show's attempt to make me feel sorry for Adrien, it made him look even worse. In any other show, he would obviously be called out for his incredibly unheroic actions.

Even putting him aside, the writing in this episode is still AWFUL. The whole reason Ladybug was benched had several plotholes and poor communication with Cat Noir that only made the fight with Robostus even harder, Shadowmoth's plan to waste a potentially useful Sentimonster to reuse a single Akuma was one of the dumbest plans he's ever had, and barring the ending, the action was just forgettable.

There were a few okay moments sprinkled throughout the episode (more than I can say for “Queen Banana”), so I'm still not sure if I should call this the worst episode of the show or still give that honor to “Queen Banana”. I guess I'll leave that choice up to you and let you pick your poison for now.

I mean, it's not like there's going to be an even worse episode down the line this season, right?

RIGHT???

[fanficimagery]

#48 “Now, just hold on a diddly darn minute.”

What to expect: Slight Action

Read below or read on FF.NET or AO3

By now the whole team is used to Darcy doing her own little background check on any newbies that are hired for the lab floor. Though she assures them that Natasha and Tony's background checks are pretty on point, she can't help but want to know everyone for her own purposes- said purposes being their likes and dislikes in baked goods so she could offer them something on special occasions.

So when Lydia Martin becomes a fixture in one of the mathematical labs, Darcy has figured she knows everything she needs to know about the red head. Especially since Lydia has become a fixture at her and Jane's table in the cafeteria during their lunch breaks, holding conversations with Jane that not even Darcy can follow at times.

Then some highly organized enemy faction decides to attack the tower and Darcy, along with the Avengers, realize that not even the Black Widow's research abilities or Tony's AI system can prepare them for what was right under their nose this entire time.

It's nearing the end of their work day when Darcy notices it. The it in question being Lydia as she slowly walks through the hall with a dazed look on her face. And while spotting Lydia in the hall is a normal occurrence, seeing Lydia gaze at the glass walls while her hand hovers over something only she can see isn't.

"Pst. Jane. Janie!" Darcy hisses and throws a pencil at her boss. "What's going on with Lydia?"

Jane hums, the pencil not having affected her at all. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that," she mumbles, gesturing at their friend. "It's like she's spazzing out. She keeps flinching and caressing the walls. It's weird." Darcy goes as far to wave her arms wildly in hopes of capturing her friend's attention, but Lydia doesn't see her at all.

"If you're really that worried," Jane says distractedly, "go check on her. She doesn’t bite, Darce."

"Nope," Darcy scoffs. "I adore Lydia, but we've been attached to the Avengers long enough to know that weird is weird. I'll just.. I'll let Tony know that his newest recruit is a little off the rails right now. Maybe there's a gas leak somewhere and Lydia got a face full of it."

"If there was a leak, JARVIS would have detected it."

"True. But still. We'll bring Tony up just in case." Darcy's already on her phone, texting the man in question.

And after a quick little back and forth with Stark, the man himself saunters off the elevator only a minute later with Pepper at his side. While Jane continues to work, Darcy abandons her desk when she sees the concerned expressions on Tony and Pepper’s faces. They're calling out to Lydia, but Lydia is still staring at one of the glass walls. Lydia looks concerned herself, but no one is sure just what it is that has her looking that way.

"How long has she been like this?" Pepper asks, frowning when Darcy joins them.

"For a few minutes now. She's never done this before."

"I went through her medical history," Tony muses. "The only thing worth a double look was a short stint in a mental institution, but that was because she went catatonic after being attacked. There weren't any side effects after she woke."

Darcy's eyes widen. "I didn't know that. She never mentioned it and we've been getting to know each other pretty good. At least I thought we were."

Lydia suddenly falls into a crouch, hands covering her ears with a terrified screech. Pepper and Darcy jerk back in surprise, and Tony steps forward on instinct. Just as he's reaching down to touch her shoulder, Lydia looks up in terror. "Get down!" She hollers.

And since one is an Avenger and the other two have lived with them long enough to get down when someone shouts it, Tony, Darcy and Pepper drop just in time. An explosion rocks the building which sends every scientist in the labs into alert mode, and then the glass window at the end of the hall which shows off a magnificent view of the city shatters with another explosion.

Gunfire rains down upon them, and Tony guides the three ladies into the nearest open lab and behind a table for cover.

The elevator goes on lock-down, and people dressed in all black garb and carrying terrifying assault rifles start to pour in from the stairwell.

"What's going on?!" Pepper shouts over the commotion of alarms blaring.

"I don't know!" Tony taps at his watch on his right wrist, it transforming quickly into a red and silver gauntlet. "But they are not taking my building!"

Tony manages to shoot off a few repulsor shots from his hand, ducking and rolling out the way of a spray of bullets, but one bullet manages to lodge in his thigh and he goes down with a pained groan. One man steps on Tony's wrist- the one wrapped up in the Iron Man gauntlet- with his palm facing up, and another shoots at Tony's palm to break the weapon itself.

Lydia had been crawling along the length of the table they'd been hiding behind, leaving Darcy and Pepper to fend briefly for themselves, and mentally berates herself when she glances over her shoulder to see Darcy babbling about surrendering with her hands raised in the air as two men train their weapons on both Darcy and Pepper.

Lydia immediately whirls around in a crouch. "Cover your ears!" Darcy, Pepper and the enemies at hand all jerk their attention to her, both women doing as told with terrified eyes. As the weapon then trains on Lydia, she takes a deep breath before wailing and pressing outward with her hands as if directing her voice in which direction to carry. And though their ears are covered, Darcy and Pepper still cringe when Lydia's scream pierces the air.

The two men go flying back and crash through one of the glass walls, and Lydia scrambles to her feet. She whips off her lab coat and grabs a pair of scissors from atop the table before slicing a slit in her skirt to give her more mobility. Seeing two wide-eyed stares on her, she smiles sheepishly. "I didn't want you to find out like this. I'll explain later!"

Pepper and Darcy numbly nod, watching as Lydia rushes into the fray. She wails again and the men surrounding Tony all go flying back. Then rushing up to Stark, she offers him a hand up. "Please tell me you can call a suit to you?"

Tony stares suspiciously at her as he stumbles to his feet, pulling out his phone and no doubt calling a suit to him and alerting the others. Lydia lunges for one of the men who finally clambers back to his feet, she fighting with strength and skill that no one could have guessed she had.

She manages to take down three men on her own while Tony makes quick work of the others after being suited up, and then Clint is rushing in through the stairwell with his bow in hand. From the looks of him, he had a bit of a brawl himself if the cut on his forehead is anything to go by.

When their floor is contained, Darcy and Pepper stumble out from their shelter. Jane stumbles into the hall as well, trembling and taking in everything with an air of surprise and shock.

Lydia nervously smooths down her hair as several gazes train on her, and Iron Man's face plate slides up. "You wouldn't happen to have had training in the Red Room, have you?" Tony asks suspiciously. "A couple of those moves seemed eerily similar to Romanoff's."

"No. I had my training from a hellhound."

Silence.

Someone inhales sharply in surprise, but it's Darcy who stumbles forward with an accusing finger pointed in Lydia's direction. "Now, just hold on a diddly darn minute." Clint and Jane struggle to hide their smiles. "Hellhound?!"

"Yes. He's currently still a deputy back home."

"Then what are you?" Pepper asks kindly. "What you did.. that was extraordinary."

Somewhat relieved to not have Pepper Potts threatening her or being scared of her in any form, Lydia answers honestly. "I'm a banshee."

"A banshee?!" Darcy exclaims. "So you mean to tell us storybook monsters are real now?"

"I wouldn't call myself a monster," Lydia muses. "It all really depends on what one does with the power they end up with. Back home, we protect those who cannot protect themselves."

"And how long has that been going on?" Clint wonders. "Your fighting showed skill. Skills like that don't come over night."

Lydia smiles at him. "Since we were sixteen." Those gathered around stare at her in surprise and her smile turns rather sad. "I really didn't want any of you to find out like this. I had planned to sit down with you a couple at a time and break it to you slowly. My pack's been wanting to visit and those werewolves aren't exactly subtle."

"Werewolves?" Clint perks up in interest. "Those are real too?"

"Oh, Clint," she muses. "I have so much to tell you."

[magiccallie]

Spider’s Fang, 2k words

Four individuals sat on a log in the middle of a forest, staring at a now opened cave. At their feet was the uneven remains of a stone road, long since abandoned and overtaken by the forest. The heat of the midday and buzz of insects was getting on their nerves, but the nature of the cave had become subject to debate.

The cave was filled with a tunnel of webs, as if a great spider was within. The forest was unkind to humans, and monster and magic being what they were, it was likely that at one point, and possibly still, a large spider had indeed used the cave. To that end, the bodyguard of the group, a thin Gef man named Frisk Lane, suggested in the loud blustering manner of his people, "We should burn the webs, it will kill or draw out whatever is inside. I have ideas of how to be ready for whatever comes out, I am the tactical expert here after all."

"But if it is dead it could be useful for study." Their biologist, Fran, replied. Unknown to her, she was lucky to be alive. The door was opened with blood, but the quantity and type required had been a mystery. Thanks to her recent poor performance she had been sent as a precaution by their administrators. She was shaped like a wax statue that had begun to melt, and had peachy skin and short, curly, brunette hair.

Their navigator, Obi, was a quiet sort from somewhere near the Lands of Silk. He had tanned skin, short straight black hair, and a well shaped beard that cut an otherwise average appearance a charming refined shape. In his hands twirled a dagger and an arm was bandaged where they had taken blood to try on the door. He had helped them avoid unwanted attention thus far, and even then eyed the forest around them warily. "Fire could send a signal with how much smoke it would produce. Whatever choice we make I would prefer it be quick, but even more so if you choose that route."

"We have the dead goat, why not throw it near or in the web and see if something grabs it?" Asked Mercy Days, a Gussian woman who made their dark bushy brows work for her in expressive faces. She was a medic and scout, who had been working well with Obi to find the singular spot in the forest they now sat at.

"I...huh. Weapons ready in case it wants more." Frink Lane replied as he stood ready. "Fran, if you would do the honors?"

"Ah yes, the age old honor of throwing dead goats into holes to bait spiders. How lucky." Fran replied, doing it even as she spoke. The goat landed on the web with a soft thud. They waited. And waited, and Obi began to lose patience. Scooting close to the tunnel he peered inside, then slowly touched the web. "It isn't sticky."

"Spiders that make webs like this are fairly aggressive and don't often make sticky webs so they can use them to travel. If that did not get it out we are fine." Fran replied, boldly stepping into the cave to prove her point. There was a moment, a beat, where the four of them held their breath. When nothing grabbed her they released the breath in relief and someone passed her a torch. The air inside smelled wrong, and made something deep in their brain want to run. Their footsteps sounded like they were stepping on tall grass, and they tried to avoid touching the walls. The light of the torch reflected back from two spots, and when it revealed a large chamber they froze. The chamber was circular, and covered in webs. High above them was a tiny crack in the roof that spilled the light of the sun. At the center of the room was a singular stone pedestal, on which a dagger glimmered.

The dagger was hilted, had a hand length triangular blade, and Frink Lane said it had a magical aura about it. But their attention was on the thing behind it. A spider the size of a horse lay upside down and shriveled, the torch glimmered off eight staring black orb eyes, and highlighted its hairy chitinous frame. Fran's eyes were alight with glee, the others' with fear. Fear turned to disgust when she got a wide grin and went to the body to inspect it.

"We aren't carrying that thing back with us are we? We were supposed to return with the location if the cave had something big in it." Mercy Days asked uneasily.

"Too big, it would take too long and make us easier to spot." Obi answered.

"What? Look at this specimen. We can't just leave it!" Fran replied as she sketched and measured.

"We have...something. This dagger is probably what they meant. If you think it will improve our results in the eyes of the Dean take some samples but Obi is in charge of keeping us undetected and if he says no, no it is."

Fran hugged and pouted. "Fine. Let me finish this sketch and collect some parts for study."

Mercy Days was eyeing the dagger. "Who wants to carry our prize?"

"Don't hold it, it could be cursed. Get a bag ready and be careful not to get cut." Frink Lane replied.

It took time, but eventually Fran was done and ready. It had taken two weeks to walk there, and the journey back would not be quick or safe. They were still in Amar lands, but the forest had monster and other strange things within it. But more dangerous, and the reason for Obi's presence, was that they walked through lands rife with Witch Hunters. Despite being ostensibly on the same side, the zealous faction of magic haters held no lost love for the colleges. If one caught them, and they patrolled the forest protecting something, the four of them would be seen as intruders and attacked.

And eventually they were. As they began their second week of hiking, and passing the southern most area patrols were seen, Obi heard the crack of twigs and leapt away as a knife flew by and into a nearby tree. They readied their weapons and Frink Lane stood in front of them as a figure stepped into the meadow. The fading light of the day hit their wide brimmed hat, leaving their face in shadow. They had an average but fit build and height, wore dark leather armor and boots, and in their hands were a wicked pair of hand axes. "You would think, with your pretenses of knowledge and education, you cult stooges would know you are not welcome in these woods." The voice was masculine, and spoke with a twang common around Stone City.

"We aren't cultists!" Mercy Days yelled.

"Don't play stupid with me." The Witch Hunter said as he walked with purpose towards them, causing Frink Lane to grimace. "You wield monsters and abominations of flesh, you gather magical powers and keep the military from outright banning the practice, all the while furthering the goals of your masters." When the hunter was close enough Frink Lane stabbed with the spear, only for the hunter to step to the side and chop one of the axes into its hilt.

"We master magic, control it. We are smart enough to see the value in it and use it. Our wizards have strict rules for what they are allowed to do. Not that fanatics like you would understand that." Fran yelled. Frink Lane wrenched the spear to the side, pulling the axe and arm to make the hunter off balance as the spear was freed, using the raised hilt to block a clumsy strike made with the other axe.

The hunter jumped back as Fran and Mercy Days started to move to get around him, and Frink Lane pressed the advantage saying, "Maybe less talking and more fighting girls?" Frink Lane swang back up with the blade but the hunter dodged again, then from a pocket on his chest pulled out an odd leafy bundle and chewed. The hunter swayed out of the way of a blow, then swang an axe hard, catching Frink Lane in the forearm. He cried out, and the hunter stepped forward, leaning into the swing with the other hand and removing Frink Lane's head from his body. Just as suddenly the hunter cried out and dropped his weapons. He fell to a knee and they saw Obi standing behind him, holding the dagger form the cave. Obi kicked the hunter down the rest of the way and grabbed his arms.

"Get rope, and Mercy Days sew this wound."

"What? We should kill him, he-" Fran looked about to puke.

"Rope now. If we are caught again having this one alive will prove useful."

Mercy Days and Fran exchanged a look but went along with the plan. They spoke of what to do with Frink Lane's body, but lacked tools to bury him. Eventually it was decided to leave their bodyguard where he lay and move on. Obi's strike had destroyed one of the hunter's kidneys, and he did not put up a fight. In fact Witch Hunter was mostly quiet, not even complaining about pain. Mercy Days kept his bandages clean, but aside from feeding him and keeping him in between them they paid him little mind. Removed from most of his armor and hat, they found he had a rounded beard and hard eyes that glanced about like Obi's. Not once did he try to escape, though the short rope Fran kept him on was no doubt the cause.

And so it was that it took three days before the medic noticed something was wrong. "What did you cultists do to me. Why do I feel so strange?" He grumbled as they finished breakfast. Mercy was inclined to pay him no mind, but when she went to change the bandages she noticed odd lumps under his shirt. She removed it and gasped. At his sides were four finger length growths, a pair on the ribs and a pair on the gut. They, and the skin around them looked grayish and sick, a discoloration that showed on the upper part of his arms as well. What's more, on his head dark shiny spots she had originally written off as dirt of blemishes were forming on his face as well.

"What is that?"

"What is going on?"

The cried and confusion went out. Grimacing, the medic grabbed a scalpel to remove them, but Fran stopped her. "Wait."

"Wait what? This clearly needs to be removed."

"No." Fran replied, grinning with a dangerous look in her eyes. "Let us see where this goes. See what that dagger really does."

Mercy Days felt uncomfortable, "What if he dies before we get back?"

"He killed Frink Lane remember, if he dies it is not a great loss."

"You can't do that to me! You won't get away with this!"

Fran looked down her nose at him. "You're already a freak who's own militant group of backwoods hicks would kill if you returned." She leaned forward. "Shut up or we'll gag you. Be thankful this way you have a chance to live." She looked at Mercy and Obi, both of whom felt uneasy. "Well. Let's hurry home. Have to chronicle as much change as we can, the Dean hates incomplete work."

Neither spoke up to challenge her and they continued, Fran keep a close eye on developments. By the time they were back on campus, the Witch Hunter looked almost entirely like a spider. Interestingly for Fran, not like the one in the cave but a hairy thin limbed one that resembled the kind that spin webs to catch insects. A small part of his chest and skull were vaguely human in shape, and sickened most who looked at it, but those too soon faded. The surviving members of the expedition received much praise from the education board and research development heads, and the dagger and exhunter were given to the research departments. Unknown to them, the student responsible for their quest would be given a degree, and his accomplices given a free pass for the semester, but such things were lost amongst the swirling rumors of the spider, the dagger, the whereabouts of Frink Lane, and what exactly happened in those woods.

[roscoerackham]

Why factions is bad

I'm just going to articulate this as best I can...

Fundamentally, the difference between the Alliance and the Horde is based entirely on a thematic, racial divide. It's based *entirely* upon race.

And by race, I don't mean "ugly races" vs "pretty races", because both sides have two flavors of elves and the Alliance has literal Werewolves. I'm talking about concepts of monstrosity and corruption.

Corruption is a common concept in fantasy, and one that long predates Warcraft. You see it in things like vampire folklore and Japanese ghost stories, but the common version found in Warcraft can trace its pedigree to Tolkien; the idea that sin and a desire for power can lead to monstrosity. Look at Gollum, for instance, who is so warped by the ring and his desire for it that he's transformed into a mockery of a hobbit. It's a lens built on Christian views of sin and post-war anxieties about the corrupting effects of political and military power, but it's also linked to the victorian fear of degeneration; the idea that one could 'adapt' to an environment of evil by losing one's moral code and becoming a mockery of one's former self. (You can see examples of this fear in *The Picture of Dorian Gray* and *The Time Machine*).

Degeneration theory was unfortunately used to justify a lot of racist theories and practices; the idea that whatever people you wanted to oppress were mentally, physically, and morally inferior. (There's tons of academic papers and articles on it; take a dive into post-colonial theories and histories if you're interested.) However, it was also used as the basis for reconstructing these fairy tale fantasy archetypes; look at the Orcs in *LotR* for instance. There are instances where they clearly *understand* morality, they just don't *give a shit* about it. They were created without morality, in the same way you could breed grapes without seeds.

So this created this model of evil in popular fantasy, popularized by Tolkien but made manifest in *D&D* and eventually *Warcraft*. Races are evil because they're monsters, and races are monsters because they're evil. Being evil causes one to degenerate into a mockery of their former selves, but some races are degenerate and evil to begin with.

Warcraft's factions are, at least in part, built on this model, and this anxiety over physical and spiritual degeneration. The Alliance, at it's heart is a faction that is *not* degenerate, or has somehow resisted or refused degeneration. They're the old, 'pure' Azeroth, the ones who refused the legion's corruption or managed to maintain their kingdoms in the face of war. Even their members who are corrupted (the Worgen, for instance) are resisting it in some way, and are capable of hiding it. It's a classic "world-threat" model of constructing fantasy; the noble hero trying to maintain the last bastion of light in an encroaching darkness.

The Horde, conversely, has already 'degenerated'. Many of their number are already monstrous in appearance by fantasy stock tropes alone, and have had their faction allegiance set in place by precedent. Others fell into corruption and were permanently transformed by it (Orcs, Undead, Blood Elves, Nightborne) with no way of concealing it. The interesting thing is that the Horde is shown to visibly struggle with their dark pasts and inner demons; they're penitent for what they did, but unapologetic about what they *are*. They're imperfect^1, and this imperfection has marked them as outcasts that must stick together to survive. And despite *all* of this, despite the fact that under typical fantasy rules established in Tolkien and carried forth over *decades*, they'd be 'degenerate'; they can *still be the heroes.* At the end of the day, my undead Rogue is just as heroic as a human Paladin when it comes to the game's story; he saves kids, tends to the sick and wounded, fights against tyranny, and faces impossible odds. Being deemed as corrupt or degenerate by society has no bearing on one's ability or moral character, and quite frankly that's inspiring in a lot of ways. *Warcraft* is probably one of the most prominent deconstructions of popular fantasy to emerge in the past few decades.

But the factions fight each other. They *have to* fight each other; *Warcraft* is a victim of it's own RTS origins and the established tropes of the genre. It's always going to be Orcs vs. Humans; Corrupted vs Uncorrupted, because that's the foundation the game is built on. They factions define themselves in opposition; in order for the Horde to be outcasts, they need a place to be outcast *from*. In order for the Alliance to be uncorrupted, there needs to be a corruption to compare them to. Without that division, the factions fall apart because there's not really and philosophical difference between them. There's a *cultural* difference between them, for sure, but philosophically they have the same goals and desires, made manifest in different ways. Both factions want to protect Azeroth, both have their own branches of spirituality, both dabble in forbidden arts, both factions are grossed out by Sylvanas and her whole Valkyr thing (even the Forsaken are starting to think it's a bit much at this point). The only thing keeping the division going in the Doylenian/out of universe is the Outcast factor.

...and that's kind of a bad look, especially for the Alliance. Would you want to play an Alliance character if your main motive for PVP is "the other faction did some bad things a long time ago that I'm mad about, and is also gross"? Maybe, but it wouldn't feel *heroic*, and that's the archetype the Alliance is supposed to invoke. Being the bad guy is a niche appeal; everyone likes being the hero .

So they need to continually refresh the conflict with acts of aggression and grudges. Old scars. The cycle of violence. Competition over resources. It's all very realistic in terms of how conflicts actually form. But it would look problematic if the Alliance were the aggressor, because then the attack would look like it was racially motivated Imagine if the Theramore situation was reversed, and Varian dropped an unprovoked mana bomb on a peaceful Horde settlement? (And if you say, 'there are no peaceful Horde settlements', you're missing my point).

Even the Purge of Dalaran is widely referred to in terms like 'genocide' and 'ethnic cleansing', and that was in response to something the Horde did.

So it's always going to be the Horde that pokes the hornet's nest on the macro scale, and then the Alliance can have their own atrocities later, but they're always '*provoked*'. They can show the Silver Covenant committing genocide, or aggressive Alliance leaders executing prisoners or being 'just as bad'; but the Horde has to set the ball rolling in one way or another.

And that *sucks*, because you've got these two cool narratives (the badass traditional fantasy heroes and the outcasts who manage to triumph despite their dark pasts) which both are really appealing to different people and can make for amazing stories and adventures. They can do *so much* stuff with that.

...but the game is *War*craft. They fight. And this also makes for awesome gameplay and faction pride, but there's always going to be this weird tension. The Alliance is always going to have this uncomfortable racist underpinning to it, no matter how hard Blizzard tries to obfuscate it. And the Horde is always going to have to pick up the Villain ball at their own expense in order to keep the fight rolling, invalidating a lot of the faction's identity.

So for many people, the faction war feels uncomfortable, if not *pointless*. Conflict for the sake of conflict.

I hope that BFA takes a long, hard look at this conflict. Breaks it down, examines it, considers its origins, and considers where to take it forward. I hope it's a total deconstruction and reconstruction of the conflict; revealing the problematic underpinnings, addressing them, and *redeeming both factions.* Finding a way to capture their essence, and giving them something to fight for beyond race. Because war is fun; Warcraft is fun^2. PVP^3, Rivalries, shouting "FOR THE HORDE/ALLIANCE". *That* is fun. That's the spirit of the game. But seeing one faction get handed the villain ball repeatedly so the other faction doesn't look genocidal is not fun for anyone involved.

**TL;DR: The faction war is based almost entirely on race with no philosophical underpinnings. Horde are outcasts, Alliance are traditional fantasy heroes. Horde is typically the aggressor because it would look bad if the Alliance shot first, and the fact the game is tied so intimately into this problematic conflict model really sucks.**

^1: This is a lie, Tauren are actually perfect in 98% of cases.

^2: Citation needed.

^3: PVP may not be fun for everyone, consult your local Reddit for details on if PVP is right for you.