#monamorial

[songsofsappho]

Getting ready for bed...

[astridthevalkyrie]

it’s polygamy and polyamory so what’s the companion word to monogamy 🤔

[transamus]

It's like. The average "bad about monamory" polyamorous person is just kinda cringe. The average "bad about polyamory" person is straight-up parroting conservative ideology lol. Like for every secondhand embarrassing "polyamory is better" comment there are 1000 "polyamory is abusive and evil" comments. It's literally just another form relationships can take.

[phoenixyfriend]

I'm having thoughts about the Jedi and romance and UGH

Listen to me

Listen

(This is a shitpost, please do not reblog to argue with me, it's not for that. This is me, an a-spec individual with a lot of feelings on how society affects the things we view as important, venting in stream of consciousness.)

"Missing out on love" isn't something that matters as much when your society isn't amatonormative

"But they aren't allowed to get married" what if they don't want to?

"But they aren't allowed to romance" what if they don't want to?

When your culture is one that emphasizes compassion for all, and the most important bond is that of child and teacher... Don't you think that people might just not think of marriage as something worth striving for?

And from @jebiknights:

Honestly the only reason it bothers Anakin is bc he already met Padmé when he became a Jedi tbh i bet it wouldn't even bother him as much if he hadn't met her and already had visions of marrying her In general though yeah lol, that's one of the things i kind of miss about legends, is they didn't always deal with the attachment/romance/marriage thing well but you consistently had obi wan exes even before satine where they were like yeah we love each other and always will but we have no need or desire to get married or continue this

When the world around you doesn't emphasize marriage and romance and all that, then wouldn't you view cultures that do as a tad odd? Not weird in a bad way, just different.

I just keep thinking about the real world and how so much of the obsession with marriage and so on is a sociocultural thing. You don't want a big white dress because it's a bit white dress: you want it because it is the symbol that your culture has been pushing on you since you were two. Girls are taught to fantasize about weddings and marriage and to like A Certain Look for it, sometimes to such a degree that they can spend decades in denial about things like their sexualities.

And we're unlearning that as a society, people are being more critical of the institution and how they engage with it, are starting to question what it is that our media teaches us, asking 'why is marriage the most important thing in a girl's life, or in anyone's life' and generally moving towards a world where marriage exists but is not treated as a universal life goal

But the Jedi are just. Already doing that. They are already Not Teaching their children 'you should want this.'

And when you aren't pressured into wanting something like marriage... why would you be offended that your community says "you can have that Legal And Religious Status, but not with us. We'll still be your friends, but we as a community are not compatible with that legal and religious status barring a handful of specific and necessary exemptions."

Just

Marriage is not an inherent human/sapient want

Companionship is! We are biologically wired to be social creatures! We are biologically wired to, on the average, want sex, as well! That's how a species continues!

But marriage? A signed sheet of paper? That's not... inherent.

Fidelity and monamory? Sure, maybe. Plenty of species mate for life. But... humans have been proving that's a choice for most of history.

Other species are other things but anyway

Even if we remove marriage, specifically, and go to discuss attachment as being fidelity and exclusivity and devotion to another...

IDK how to talk about this without just going "devoting your life to a single person for companionship, romance, and sex is not only not necessary, but actually kind of mentally draining and a bad way to support yourself, we all need support systems and if you value one person's friendship or companionship more than others, that's not inherently a bad thing, but if you define yourself around each other or start doing shit like Covering Up Major Crimes That Hurt Real Innocent People (or committing said crimes) then. Uh. That's a problem."

[mountainofhistory]

❣ for Udeki! What is it like dating your right arm!

@gensokyogarden @warriorsofcrimsonrealms

So against all normal reason, Udeki, of all people, was the one who was the most popular. I've been saving her for last, mainly because I don't think I'll actually be able to come up with nine pros to dating the evil arm of Ibaraki-Douji. But I will try to come up with as many pros and cons as I can. So, let's go.

Pros:

While there's certainly no guarantee that Udeki will treat you nicely, even if you've somehow managed to romance her, you can be damn sure she isn't going to let anyone else treat you badly.

Being a large fragment of Ibaraki-Douji, it probably shouldn't be surprising that she has a bit of a flair for poetry, at least when she feels like it. Who doesn't like flowery flattery said about them?

Being romantically linked to Udeki will likely go a long way in the way of gaining respect among other oni in the Underworld - and it's likely, if you're trying to date her in the first place, that you could find a use for that.

For all her malevolence, it's very easy to have a good time when she's around, as long as she hasn't decided to attack you for some reason. Partying and drinking is as much in her blood as fighting is.

You are likely going to be (at least one of) the primary recipients of her gardening hobby - and if gardening is something you like, you can join her! She'd love that.

I won't go into detail here, but, uh, the bed will not be cold.

She will be more than happy to support you in whatever your goals are, as long as they don't conflict with hers. Even if they lead to people getting hurt, that's not a problem with her.

(7 of 9 isn't bad, right?)

Cons:

She's not just an oni, she's the malevolent side of an oni. The odds of her staying faithful to you for a long time are not very high.

Similarly, it's doubtful you'll be able to have her all to yourself. Udeki is not one to stick to strict monamory. Expect to have to share, at least somewhat.

She loves to fight, and if you don't, that's going to cause problems very quickly. On the other hand, if you do, this would actually be another pro. However, even if you both love to fight, you still might not be a fan of the way she doesn't hold back, even in a spar. She will expect you to try your level best to kill her too.

She is not very well liked by the powers that be in Gensokyo, and for very good reason. If you date her, you probably also won't be very well liked by them.

Just as she is happy to support your goals, she will expect you to support hers. And her goals, while long-term and difficult to achieve, would not be good for Gensokyo as a whole.

She will almost certainly drag you into all sorts of things whether you actually want to or not. Your approval is not exactly her greatest concern.

She is the type to get moody, and she's also the type to take out her moodiness on her partner. You'd best be ready to either avoid or stop her during these times.

If you're dating her, chances are that you'll probably be stuck in the Underworld, which isn't exactly the nicest place to live - though it's better than people give it credit for, that's mostly because of how little credit they give.

If you're not an oni yourself, it's going to be very hard to try to keep up with her drinking, and she's not going to be too concerned about your health. In her eyes, you're the one in charge of that. Try not to be pressured.

[so-called-yokai]

The Anavri

A basic (but probably still overly detailed!) overview of Eshra's species. This was originally written with the Mass Effect universe in mind, hence my efforts to keep it... biologically believable, as well as a few references to ME-specific things. It's also still something of a work in progress as I decide on or discover more aspects of the species. :)

Most of it is under the cut because as I was creating this post I realized holy hell, it's long.

SPECIES: Anavri HOMEWORLD: Laethis, Corus System, Heleus Cluster

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: The anavri are a bipedal dromaeosaurid species, with a coat of short downy feathers, feathered crests, and long tails. Their upper limbs are unique, with a structure somewhere between Earth's bats and birds: like bats, they have five digits, with their opposable thumb and first two fingers forming a hand, but like in birds, the bones of their fourth and fifth digits are fused and form the structure supporting a feathered wing. Anavri never had the ability to truly fly, having evolved from a terrestrial ancestor akin to Earth's ancient dromaeosaurs, but they can glide proficiently on planets with lower gravity, such as their own. Their lower limbs are digitigrade, and each of their four toes, including the dew claw, is tipped with a sharp claw to assist with grip both on the ground and when climbing trees. They are a lightly built species in general, and average between 5-6 feet tall, with only exceptional individuals ever breaking 6 feet. Their shorter body feathers are various shades of white, black, gray, or brown, while the longer feathers on their crests, tails, and wings can be any of a wide variety of colors; most anavri tend towards bright jewel tones, aside from those few hailing from polar climes, where neutral colors are more prevalent.

Anavri are ultraviolet-sensitive thanks to a color receptor in their eyes that humans lack. Compared to humans, they have incredible vision, particularly for movement; an above average sense of smell; and average hearing. Anavri evolved to rely mostly on their vision, which allows them to both track their small, quick-moving prey, and to better read others' body language, particularly from a distance. While their sense of smell does help them to more easily forage for the nuts and fruit that make up part of their diet, its main purpose is to identify other anavri, in particular to avoid inbreeding in a culture where blended and overlapping families are common.

As Laethis is mostly tropical or subtropical, anavri evolved to be well-suited to hot, humid conditions, and for the most part they dislike climates that are dry, cold, or both, although they are perfectly capable of operating or even living in such conditions.

BEHAVIOR: Life on Laethis is dextro-amino-acid-based. Anavri are omnivorous with a preference for fish, insects, birds, eggs, fruit, and nuts. Laethis is primarily covered by oceans and massive forests, meaning a distinct lack of space for both agriculture and larger animals the anavri might prey on, although the latter isn't unheard of. A higher oxygen level also means invertebrates grow quite large; among forest-dwelling populations, arthropods often make up the bulk of an anavri's diet. As such, anavri have remained primarily a hunter-gatherer species, although the encouragement and tending of natural groves of fruit and nut trees is common.

Anavri mate for life, and polyamory is as common as monamory, with bonds being cemented and reinforced by the instinctual creation of a unique song. They are oviparous and lay a single, large egg at a time. While some anavri have come to prefer incubators, most still practice traditional nest-sitting, a duty shared by both (or all) of the egg's parents.

SOCIAL GROUPS: Having evolved from highly social pack-hunting predators, the anavri are a group-minded species. An individual anavri (the plural and singular forms of the name are the same) is part of what is still called a pack, usually made up of 6-12 individuals - although larger ones can approach double that - and consisting not only of family but often close friends as well. Packs living together usually end up forming a colony, which can be considered analogous to a human town or city. Colonies send representatives to the central Senate, and the Senate in turn is led by a small Council of members elected from the colony representatives.

The anavri are equally at home on the ground or above it, and this, combined with the lack of open land, means their colonies tend to grow up, rather than out. In addition, with the advent of space travel almost all of what little open land there is on Laethis has been devoted to ship construction and spaceports. As a result, the anavri population has stayed relatively small compared to other spacefaring species.

THE HAAN: Inside a pack, a few members might form a haan, a very close knit group of 3-5 individuals who are typically the same age and have often been together since fledgling-hood. The bonds usually last their entire lives, and any children born to members of the haan are considered children to them all. Thus, anavri routinely have more than two parents. Not all anavri become part of a haan, but it's common enough that the children of haans are as commonplace and unremarkable as the children of only a bonded pair.

When an anavri is the offspring of a haan, they use body language, such as feather position, to indicate which specific parent they might be talking about. This often creates confusion when communicating with species lacking understanding of anavri non-verbal communication.

(Eshra, for example, has three parents: his mother, who laid his egg; his father, who is pair-bonded to his mother; and his other father, who is the other member of their haan. His biological father happens to be his mother's bondmate, but that isn't always or even often the case, and Eshra certainly doesn't care which of his fathers actually sired him, nor does any other anavri child.)

CULTURE: A combination of Laethis' hot, humid environment and the anavri's need for freedom of movement has resulted in an overall preference for light, loose clothing that doesn't restrict their range of motion. Some species tend to view anavri clothing -- or lack thereof -- as unseemly, or even scandalous; humans in particular often have a negative reaction to anavri fashion, much to the confusion and amusement of the anavri themselves, for whom clothing is usually an expression of individuality first and protection second, with "modesty" rarely being on the radar.

TECHNOLOGY: Technologically, anavri are on par with the other species seen in Mass Effect, minus interstellar travel: they are a spaceflight species, but the Scourge appeared not long after they achieved it, cutting off their system from the rest of the cluster. As such, while they've managed to colonize two worlds and various moons in their own system, they haven't been able to venture further. Interplanetary travel is common.

While not common, it isn't unheard of for anavri visiting other planets to employ personal mass effect fields to account for higher gravity.

INTERACTIONS WITH OTHER SPECIES: Once introduced to the cluster at large, anavri discover they have a harder time communicating with the other races than average, because so much of their communication is built around body language that most other species can't mimic: hands, tails, feathers, and even head position are all key parts of anavri communication. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this means they get along very well with the elcor, as the elcor's similar use of subtle body language allows them to pick up on it more easily than other species, while the anavri's keen sense of smell lets them read elcor pheromones with impressive accuracy.

Anavri also get along well with turians. While the anavri are far less militaristic than the turians, both species have similar group-minded cultures. Much common ground is also found thanks to anavri and turians being dextro-based lifeforms in a universe that prefers levo-amino acid.

[mousegirlheart]

hey uh yeah as a poly system we'd like to bring up the diff between polyamory and polygamy/monamory and monogamy bc its important dont stress! Just know they are subtely different.

ah i dont know the words, sorry

[gatesofember]

new Dionysus in the clichecore au 👀

“Marriage is a sham that was created to regulate sex, discourage homosexuality, and pressure people into having children, but I do enjoy a good party.”

“You’re married,” Will pointed out.

“That’s different,” said Dionysus. “My wife is my world. Also, we aren’t bound by society’s rigid standards of cisheteronormativity and monamory.”

[quadriplegic-pup]

So I recently decided to give polyamory a try. My brain feels so hardwired to loving a single person intensely, and trying to go about a polyamorous relationship with monamory as the default relationship/romantic template feels so awfully wrong. I want my experience with polyamory to be more light and sassy, but it’s incredibly difficult for me not to give 100% of my attention and emotional capacity to 1 human, making the early stages of this ‘light and sassy’ fling wayyyyy too heavy and serious. I want to change, I want my current romantic anxieties to be a non-issue, I want security in my relationships. I understand that a lot of these can be addressed by focusing inward and checking my expectations, but is there anything else I can try to both slow my romantic pacing or wash away the anxieties/insecurities that are undoubtedly making me a less attractive date?

[herateleia-blog]

And since I’m already on the salt bar, I am so fucking annoyed with the whole “I have too much love to give to stay with one person” narrative re: polyamory.  Monamorous folks aren’t being stingy with their love or have finite stores of love because they’re choosing to be with one partner instead of many.  

Every type of relationship model has their specific set of circumstances and needs involved, and people should go with what suits their wants and needs best.  No one is more or less loving or enlightened for wanting and needing either polyamory or monamory.  

What matters is how you treat the people you’re in a relationship with.  

[songsofsappho]

Extremely happy with how my nails turned out~

[catsnuggler]

Horny rambles semi-related, to the other horny rambles, under the cut

Anyway, that post was about threesomes, specifically. I'm not sure whether I'm a monamorous or polyamorous individual, but I've wondered for a while. I'm straight, so, if I am polyamorous it'd be boring tbh, but while I'd love to be in... try, anyway, a triad with 2 women, especially if they love each other and not just me, I could also go for one where another man and I share the same girlfriend, although he and I would just be bros, hard limit. However, I'm also very clingy and possessive, but I'm not sure that's inherently part of me, so much as it is a personal issue I need to resolve and finally lay to rest. Another thing, though, is as I mentioned before, the prospect of getting with even one woman is one that makes my heart sink, and my body freeze or flee, from embarrassment, stress, and a host of my unresolved issues. So I really can't be sure if I'm polyamorous if the thought of even monamory is too much for me, lmao.

[crackling-dab]

Blargh

[h2t]

Monamory Charm Bracelet

[zoetbelgies-blog]

be honest - is arthur the most attractive man you've ever been with?

Define attractive?

Because a want to give physical affection, a sense of humor, personal independence, and his monamory make him the most attractive man alive.

[songsofsappho]

Fellow Sailors on the Sea of Life...

Howdy! I go by Mona.

28 y/o, East Canada, femme-leaning sapphic. Still finding my way, but to be described as a riot of colour is a goal of mine.

I write fanfiction, I play video games, I enamour service staff with my rabid love of coffee. Things my brain is incapable of being normal about: Warhammer, Wednesday (2022), women, ttrpgs, incense, and mythology.

I am taken and monogamous. Switch/verse (sub/bottom leaning). I'm not just a sickly sweet romantic, I'm Lauryn Marie's The Romantic. Also kind of a gremlin. I blame the ADHD.

I would love to chat with more sapphics! Asks open, DMs for mutuals. 23+ if you want to flirt, but I've only got eyes for one girl.

DNI: bigots (the -isms), minors, men, """MAPs""" / pedos, TERFs (duh), and zionists.

Claimed Anon: 🦋

(Continue for some boundaries and stuff...)

Terms: I haven't had a partner since Sappho found me, but I'm pretty sure good girl / kitten / sunshine / princess would make me melt or giggle and kick my feet. I prefer Miss and Maestra in dom head spaces. Lets get to know each other before talking about my bits maybe - unless you have trans questions? Then um. I mean just genitals maybe. We'll figure it out.

Pretty much all of my kinks go both ways due to all the switchy stuff.

Green Light: Marking / biting, impact play, scent, restraints, praise & degradation, brattiness / teasing, body writing, shibari, breeding, spit / drool, choking & handling, and worship.

Yellow Light: (Most of this is yellow due to lack of experience or the need to build trust with a person first). Somno, pet play, soft CNC, cum, overstimulation & edging, ownership / possessiveness / collaring, intox, primal play, voyerism (?) (doing sneaky things in public), strap / cockwarming, and subspace.

Red Light: detrans (I just fucking got here), feet, gore, scat / piss, gas-lighting / psych manipulation, feeder/feedee, age regression, and incest.

Tags: This is probably going to take some tweaking, but #MonaMumbles for original, non-spicy thoughts. #MonaMuses for when I inevitably get the writing bug. #MonaMorial for pics. #MonaMoans for spicy posts. #MonaMemos for replies to asks!

Wow, you read the whole thing! Thanks darling~✨