#molly’s death is such a huge turning point and caduceus is! so! important!!!

[acepalindrome]

I think the ideal way for the first season of the Mighty Nein to end would be with the introduction of Caduceus. I was so broken up when Molly died, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to continue watching. I was sticking around to see Taliesin’s new character, but I didn’t want a new character, I wanted Molly back!

And then Caduceus Clay opened his front door and looked out at these broken strangers, did some mental math, and said ‘I only have three cups.’ And it felt like things would be okay after that.

[your-turn-to-role]

alright i've got an hour on the train with nothing to do time for caduceus meta

i'm just thinking about how this is gonna affect our boy going forward, like, even best case scenario where they get him back and he's fine, this whole day has to have been really shaking him up?

caduceus has a +9 to wis saves, he really shouldn't fail them ever. he's probably never really had to worry about them before, because that's his strong suit, and also taliesin's usual luck, it takes a lot to mess with caduceus' mind and ability to center himself. but he didn't just fail one wis save last episode, he failed every single one (never rolled higher than a nat 5), except fjord's last command spell - something that it would have been better had he failed. and the memory thing, while it's still a mental influence he wasn't resistant against, that one's not that bad, caduceus doesn't put a huge amount of stake in his ability to recall things, he'd rather trust in what he's currently feeling and what he currently knows.

but what happens when that gets fucked with? because that's the worst part, this thing took what caduceus uses to ground himself - the faith that he's always moving in the right direction - and completely twisted it for its own intentions. matt's always excelled at possession and mind control narration, because he gets what motivates the characters and personalises it. when caleb was influenced in episode 55, that played on his trust issues and paranoia due to his past - his friends are working against him, they've been trying to take him down the whole time and he was an idiot who trusted them, he should have realised they were out to get him earlier, and now he has to fight for his life.

whatever this entity or influence is this time, though, is playing with cad's sense of destiny and purpose. this is where you need to go, this is what things have been leading to, this has the answer to all your questions, that thing you're searching for? it's here. this is more important than everything else because this is what you were put here to do. he doesn't attack fjord, because that's not who he is - he's not caleb, who's still always waiting for a fight he sees as inevitable. caduceus believes fighting is a last resort, if you can reason, do so, and don't step into a fight you don't have to - sometimes they're just trying to distract you.

which is exactly his approach here. he knows where he has to go, and he has to do that first. he's aware fjord has concerns, but he'll get to those later, he can coach someone after he has his answers, after he's fulfilled his purpose. fjord's trying to stop him and fjord means well, but he's still got a lot to learn, he doesn't know these things as well as caduceus, who's been preparing for this his whole life.

nothing about these thoughts are fundamentally different from how caduceus is normally. be it his own plan or the wildmother's (and really, there's not much difference), he absolutely trusts that when he has thoughts like that, he's doing the right thing.

but not this time. this time what he thought was destiny led him unequivocally down the wrong path. and while i don't think caduceus is going to lose faith in the wildmother over this, it might definitely shake that faith in his own rock solid judgement.

like, all of taliesin's characters have different facets of that kind of naive arrogance? the lowkey judgementalism buried in the idea that the things they believe or trust in are definitively right. (and all of them have had high wisdom/insight to back it up, which feeds that more). percy didn't trust himself to always act morally good, but he trusted he was always the smartest person in the room, and made snap judgements of people accordingly. molly didn't know a lot about the world, but he trusted that the social tools learned in the circus were the best way to deal with people, even if people tended to react badly to that. caduceus isn't an evangelist, he doesn't need people to follow the wildmother, but he does believe he knows what's best for them. all of them are the "we're all about to learn a valuable lesson" type (i.e. seeing someone about to cause their own downfall, and watching because they knew not to do that, even if the person in trouble didn't, and because it wasn't serious enough to cause the person's death, they felt no need to interfere).

how's this for a valuable lesson: sometimes you're wrong. sometimes the things you trust in will fail you. sometimes you fail yourself, or your friends, and it leads to disaster. and sometimes, despite what your usual wisdom would suggest, sometimes that's not your fault.

caduceus might be able to square this away as destiny if it leads to something good, but what if it doesn't?

i know the caduceus is gonna die theory is floating round the fandom, and i really hope it didn't happen, not just because i love caduceus, but because it would be the second time taliesin loses a character right before we could get a potentially really interesting turning point in their character arc. and this might be that for caduceus. he can resolve any amount of tragedy with "it was supposed to happen", but can he resolve this?

[mapleandgingeroatmeal]

CR2E76-Refjorged

HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE HAD EVERYTHING. WHERE DO I EVEN START?? This is gonna be a long one for sure.

The spontaneous Mead Pong game was so fun. I love how they all just went for that, and Caleb getting a perfect shot only when nobody was watching? Priceless.

They haven’t really done a heist w/ Caduceus. have they? Unless you count boarding that one ship, but I don’t think you can since that wasn’t a stealth thing. It’s weird, but that detail felt like almost a mark of how far the Nein have come already

I’m sure people have written a lot about this (I’d love meta recs if anyone has ‘em), but that makes me think about what may have changed about the m9′s path if Molly had stayed alive. Clay has been such a huge force in pushing the nein to do good in the world, and although he has plenty of his own issues, I think the fact that he believes in everyone’s ability to be good people has really had a huge impact. This may be a Hot Take, maybe I’ll regret this cause idk what Molly fans are like, but I really don’t think the group would have made nearly as much moral and emotional progress w out Caduceus. They would probably be at least a lot closer to crossing over that line into Bad People.

THE BREAD. This is another famous joke that I new existed, but had no context or knowledge for. I was so excited when I heard it come up! Caleb and polymorph is such a delightful combo. The dumb brain really lets him escape his misery I think, and he had such a gleeful face and relaxed posture for that whole scene.

“Last time we did this, you put a sword to my throat”. Whatta callback! Despite how much everything has changed, Fjord and Caleb still have this interesting intensity to their relationship. The moment when they start a mysterious blood ritual and Caleb’s accent confrontation come to mind. I hope we get more in the future about how these two interact in a more casual setting, tbh, because at this point I have a hard time pinning down their dynamic. The trust is definitely there now, and all the Nein obviously love each other, but in many ways it feels almost delicate? Like in the scene from this ep, I think both of them probably reflect on that day thinking they were in the right, even if they’ve moved on. Interesting stuff!

The reactions when Nott murdered that guard were so priceless. Little moments like that are kinda sobering reminders of how broken she is. Since probably the moment that Veth killed that Goblin leader with a vile of acid, she’s led a life that seems to have been very much kill-or-be-killed. Empire people aren’t taught to see Goblins as much more than kill-on-sight monsters, and in a self-defense situation Nott is so small that she would really have only one chance before getting overpowered. It’s upsetting and definitely bad, but I think it makes a lot of sense that her first instinct when panicked is to go for the throat.

Caduceus is truly such a dummy and I love him for it. The man knows two things: Death and People. Nothing else. Strategy? Never heard of her. High-stakes stealth mission with an important decision to make? “it’s always nice to see my friends :)”. 

Whats in the book they stole! We didn’t find out for the entire episode if I’m not mistaken! Caleb just gave to Fjord with some cryptic comments! Wtf kind of book isn’t useful/ interesting to Caleb? This is going to drive me insane.

The pack-rat elf lady wearing Reani’s crown finally was v sweet. She was a character that Matt seemed to hint at a lot of depth for. I wonder if we’ll ever get back to Uthadorn? I’d like to see her again

The dusts are also a bunch of npcs that I kinda wish we’d gotten more time with! The way that Matt had the whole family and their personalities mapped out makes me feel like there was a lot that didn’t get explored there. Clay has a tendency to minimize his own priorities and as much as it’s a neat character choice, I wish it didn’t mean that we see less of the neat stuff around his arc!

Fjord’s dream sequence had me tearing up. Matt’s writing is just so emotionally intelligent and deep. The specification that the Wild Mother can ease the pain but the wound will always be there? That hit me so goddamn hard. I love this character. 

If I think too much about what this sword-collecting arc means for Fjord I’m gonna start crying again. Here’s a guy that grew up unloved, with nobody that ever cared enough to give him anything. He was so recently convinced that the Nein only cared about him while he was useful. And what happens once he looses all utility to the group? They give him magic weapons, and circle around to protect him, and face down a fucking ancient white dragon, all just to get him a gift from the Wild Mother. What does that feel like to a man who’s never ever had a family before? Can he even really recognize the kind of devotion the m9 just displayed? I hope once he has a quiet moment he can do some reflection and appreciate how much he is just unconditionally supported now. I want him to understand that he is loved.

Beau and Reani! I did remember right! They are adorable and everyone’s reaction at the table was priceless. That moment had a neat meta-level feel to it w/ the addition of Mica as a guest character. I could tell she was feeling out if this was a role-play boundary or not, just like Reani was feeling out if Beau was interested. Beau going in for the kiss out of nowhere was also Marisha signaling “yes please bang my hot gay monk”. A perfect ending for a wonderful character!

Jester and Caduceus almost judgy convo was actually fascinating to me, because it kinda highlighted one of my favorite things about Beau in that she breaks the norms arounf sexualy agency that you usually see with female charecters. She’s an action movie protag, casually banging hot ladies and hiring sex workers, and she’s celebrated for it like you would celebrate that behavior in james bond! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a female character that does that before.

I could talk about Caleb and Nott’s conversation here for fucking hours, and I think I’m gonna actually do a whole separate post about it so this doesn’t get too long. Why is every interaction they have just the most poignant beautiful incredible moment ever committed to film?  What did the world do to deserve this? Nothing. We do not deserve them. 

Fjord getting his powers back and celebrating and the callback to Nott turning into a tiny Fjord and Eldritch Blaaaaaaayyyst returning and being wrapped up in seaweed and awkwardly objectified by Jester and Caduceus big goofy grin and all of it was such a joyful, hopeful note to end on! More than ever the Nein are feeling like a family, with all the wonderful messy things that entails, and I couldn’t be happier about it. I’m going to go watch Nott and Caleb and cry again.

[princessamericachavez]

Let’s talk about Fjord

This has been a long time coming, especially given how most of the fandom tends to overlook the depth of Fjord’s past and current trauma or downright vilify him for it... but I’m not here to talk salt, I’m here to talk about all the sweet little tidbits about Fjord we learned tonight in Talks.

So let’s review:

a. Fjord feels more comfortable in the City of Beasts than in the Empire/Menagerie Coast: 

Now, hey, let’s take a break and consider this, yeah? Because Fjord has spent all of his life fighting and denying the “monster” side of him, to the point of self-harm. He’s crafted himself to look and act as an exemplary human (when he doesn’t even know if the non-orc part of his blood is human at all). Only in the past few months with the Mighty Nein has he started to accept himself. Letting his tusks grow —under Jester’s gentle watch— has been a huge step for him and his self-image. 

And yet. When they were traveling across this other lands, we never really saw Fjord complain. He never brought up that he felt watched, that he felt judged, that he felt out of place. That’s just how good his mask is (and part of his “no one cares” mentality that we will touch in a moment). 

He might not even fit in here entirely either —he’s destined to be forever a half-blood no matter where he goes— but the fact that he feels more comfortable here than he ever did before talks about just how deep-rooted his trauma is. As Travis put it “it’s having an interesting effect on him” and hopefully it will be one of further self-acceptance. We already saw him comment to himself that the stubby tusks had helped him intimidate Umanon. The very same thing that ostracized him as a child, is a powerful asset here.

b. Fjord is desperate to connect with his bloodline. 

Now, we’d seen hints of this longing before. On a meta-level, there was Travis complaining that Fjord didn’t get to meet the lonely half-orc on their way North, but we’ve also had several IC hints. Consider how Fjord found an orcish tusk in Lorenzo’s bag of teeth and kept it. Think about the value he puts into family. Think about him saying, of course, Jester would want to meet her dad. Think about the weight and importance he puts in the family. Think about how set he is in reuniting families —be it Jester with her mom or Nott with her son or even Beau with her estranged parents. Think about him choosing to name himself Captain Tusktooth of all things and despite his lack of them.

The way Travis put it tonight, though, wasn’t just curiosity, it was desperation. It was the need to sit down and ask “are you a monster, for real? Am I really a monster, too?” It’s just the need to be acknowledged. It’s the need to understand what it is in his blood that has made him a target all of his life. It’s getting some damn answers for once. It’s being a part of something. 

And how heartbreaking is it that his first proper encounter with his own species had to be this three drunken assholes that tried to hurt his friends and disregarded him as a weakling? And, yet, how satisfying is it that he got himself and his friends out of that problem, not by force but by outwitting them? By taking this side of him that he’s carefully crafted through his painful youth and using it to get the upper hand?

c. Fjord’s “tough love” and understanding of the world. 

Listen, as much as the two previous things were sad, I think nothing broke my heart as hearing Travis talk about Fjord’s perspective of the world. It makes sense, though. Of course, it does. He grew a nobody in an orphanage where he suffered at hands of other children and was probably never aided or defended by a single caring soul. What does it do to a child, to grow knowing no one is going to come to your rescue? That no one cares? That no one will?

And then Vandran, the one person that has apparently shown Fjord the most kindness in his life, reinforcing this idea, telling him “yes, no one cares, no one is going to care about your problems, so you just deal with them and keep pushing forward”. Of course, Fjord grabbed that ideology —that already aligned with his perspective of the world— and held on to it, turned it into a shield with which he could face an uncaring world. As “tough love” as it is, Vandran gave him a tool to turn his pain and anger into a way to keep moving. Was it the most emotionally healthy advice? Probably not, but it kept Fjord alive.

We’ve seen the side effects of this attitude come and bite Fjord in the ass, though. From not sharing his Uk’otoa dreams at first because they are his problem to deal with, to taking in the responsibility to deal with Avantika and the whole pirate deal... it’s made his allies distrust him, thinking he withholds information out of shadiness rather than a sense of sole responsibility for his issues. Like, think of being sure that the M9 would not come and rescue him from the slavers. After being rescued, he tells Beau and Caleb that he did not expect them to come. Why would he. No one ever has. No one has ever cared. He tells them he expects better of himself because that’s the only person he’s ever really been able to rely on. 

Until now. Until the Mighty Nein. After being rescued, he tells them that he hasn’t had many kindnesses directed at him in his life, and as much as it sounds like a “cool guy” line, really, really, really think how real that is, how much pain there was in Fjord’s shaky breathless laugh as he said it. I don’t care what anyone says or thinks, Travis is fucking BRILLIANT roleplayer that has been planting the seeds and hints of Fjord’s trauma and pain, playing the subtle long game, really thinking deeply about how his past affects him and it’s all slowly boiling to the surface and it’s perfect.

Going back to how the M9 have changed Fjord’s perspective, though, think about how much they care. They do care, and they show it, and they help, and show up, and go out of their way to help and protect Fjord in a way no one ever has before. 

Jester bribing someone to get Fjord a recommendation later just because he said he wanted to get into a super fancy magic academy. Beau, Caleb, Nott and Molly risking (and giving) their lives to rescue him and the others from the slavers. They spent months out in the open see and surrounded by pirates and death threats just to help him get answers about his powers and his mentor. Jester yelling “don’t worry Fjord, you’re going to be okay!” or “I’ll protect you, Fjord!” and assuring him “I’ll heal you if you start to hurt”, keeping his secrets about his past, constantly asking about how he feels and what he wants and what he needs. My dudes (forgive me as I get momentarily shippy) but when Travis says Fjord is in awe of Jester’s light and happiness, how he’s never met anyone like her, how her light is contagious... the more we learn about the shadows in Fjord’s past, the more apparent it becomes how significant her light is to him (platonically or otherwise)

And speaking of light, fourth and final matter

d. Fjord is looking for an out. 

And not just any out. Fjord is looking for a higher power to help him stop Uk’otoa or, at the very least, break his connection to the serpent. 

And here is where I throw a huge HAH to anyone who claimed Fjord to be evil, shady, power-hungry or willing to betray everyone or some shit. 

My guys, Fjord is willing to give up the very power that —for the first time in his life— has allowed him to defend himself and those he loves, just to do the right thing. Fjord is actively thinking of ways to fix his situation. Fjord is step by step turning his back on the dark promise of rewards and reaching for the light like a drowning man.

How will that look, you ask? Well, Travis did bring up a significant word tonight: Paladin. 

From a purely ttrpg point of view, all Fjord needs to multiclass to Paladin is a couple extra strength points that he could easily get the next time he can up his stats. 

From a narrative point of view, though, how wonderful would it be? This boy, this man, who grew up being shunned, hated, attacked, disregarded as a monstrosity... This kid who everyone called an evil shady monster, who people distrust on sight, who didn’t think himself important enough to be helped by anyone... 

I would KILL for paladin Fjord. Like, shutting up every single person (in and out of game) that called him evil or a monster by becoming a god's champion, a paragon of good, literal knight in shining armor, tusks and all. TUSKS AND ALL. 

Jester seeing Fjord in full armor, shining like the sun with a light of his own, blessed by a deity of his own, tall and proud... and her just being filled with pride, telling him “see, Fjord? I told you, you’re just like a knight in shining armor!”

I’m curious as to which god Fjord would choose to follow, though. 

The Wildmother might seem like a far fit given how different Caduceus’s approach to, well, everything is to Fjord, but reading up on her she’s “the goddess of wilderness and the sea. She watches over nature, good harvest, grants protection from washing away in storms, guides the passage of ships, and protects smaller folk” which seems like SUPER fitting given Fjord’s backstory. 

The Moonweaver would be an interesting nod to Molly’s faith, but also a good fit to Fjord’s tendencies towards hiding his true self behind a perfect mask since she “is a chaotic good deity of moonlight and the autumn season, as well as the patron of illusions and misdirection [...]  she is largely considered to be the deity of love and protector of the trysts of lovers. Those who work in secrecy and trickery often ask for her blessing.” (also Fjord needs all the luck in love he can get)

The Changebringer is an interesting option too, I think, since she “is the goddess of freedom, trade, travel, and adventure. She encourages her followers to venture into the unknown” and we all know how curious and impulsive Fjord can be, it’d be fun for him to have a deity that encourages his thirst for adventure now that he’s enjoying his new life and getting to know and do more than he ever dreamed.

The Stormlord is a weird mix since he’s the god of war and fighting but also worshipped by sailors of the Menagerie Coast, which Fjord could feel closer too. 

(also either the Stormlord or the Wildmother might have some kind of direct interest in Uk’otoa not rising again, so they seem likely to help)

I —for one— would love to see Fjord as a paladin of the Traveler, just because the idea is hilarious and I have no idea how it would work.

Either way, though, Fjord has a super interesting road ahead. His past and present are coming to the surface and this arc his subtly giving us a lot of what will shape his future.

Tl;dr: Fjord is a good boy who has suffered a lot and I will fight the next person that calls him evil. 

[disasterhumans]

All the posts about Nott, Caleb, and Beau flying around this morning have me thinking more generally about the growth and development we’ve seen from various characters throughout the entire group. I think in some ways Beau and Caleb are both the most different now than they were at the start of the campaign. Beau actually softens to people pretty easily, but she’s gone from person with a lot of self-professed moral apathy, to one of the only people in the group with a moral framework she consistently works at, and reminds the others of. She’s also worked really hard both to open up to the group (even if she still has to do it on a one-on-one basis for now), and to be someone dependable that people can come to with their own baggage. She’s gone from broadly being considered a liar, to genuinely being one of the most trustworthy members of the group. Caleb has gone from being incredibly self-centered and ready to leave the group at the moment, to the person to most frequently call the group a family. His selfishness hasn’t disappeared by any means, but it is far more often subsumed into the needs of the group, and he will sacrifice his own desires in order to further the wellbeing of the group. He’s gone from being extremely withdrawn and tight-lipped about himself, to being the most open and vulnerable member of the group.

But it’s really interesting to think about how Beau and Caleb both got to that point. Because while it definitely took time for them both to get where they are, it also didn’t quite happen organically. Caleb—at various turns—has been pushed into his openness and vulnerability. First with Beau in episode 18, but also by Nott in episode 27 (where she tries to get him to admit he loves the group), and again by Nott in episode 48. The confrontation between Nott and the rest of the group in episode 13 also contributed to a lot of Caleb’s early changes in how he interacted with the group. Without those big, specific moments (and also a lot of tense Team Human conversations along the way), I don’t think we’d have the Caleb we do right now. I imagine/hope Caleb would have slowly come to a similar place of loving and caring for the group so intensely, but without the big moments where he was challenged and backed into a corner, I don’t know if he would have ended up as open as he’s starting to be.

Beau, meanwhile, had her foundational sense-of-self rocked to its core by Molly’s death. She walked away from her conversation with Molly in episode 26 realizing just how much she’s willingly caused other people harm, and then after he died she made a strong executive decision to change that. As with Caleb, I think that she naturally would have ended up at that point on her own. Beau has always been good at apologizing, has always sought to seek self-improvement, and has always actively listened to the people around her when they offer constructive criticism. But I don’t know if she would have adopted such a strident moral code without Molly’s death. Not a quotable one, at least. Not one that she uses as an overt guide when she’s not sure what to do. And likely not one that she would consistently repeat to a group as a whole. That big moment propelled what might have been natural development further a lot faster.

Yasha also fits this pattern—it’s a bit harder to track her development due to Ashley’s absences (curse you, Blindspot), but she’s gone from being flighty and avoiding forming interpersonal bonds to sharing her story more-or-less willingly with the whole group. This happened after a couple very intense Stormlord-induced confrontations that forced her to acknowledge the strength her friends lend her. It has forced her to confront her feelings and fear about loss head-on.

But the big moments Fjord, Jester, and Nott have experienced haven’t quite cut into the crux of their personal flaws in the same way. And the three of them all have very similar flaws. Namely, they’re to people in the group most likely to lie, deflect, and obfuscate their feelings. I think Fjord started working through exactly what he wants (at least as far as his pact is concerned) during the Pirate Arc, but so much of the circumstances of that arc forced him to lie about how he was feeling (e.g. with Avantika), and deflect. This is especially true given he was predominantly experiencing a lot of uncertainty during that time. Fjord likes looking like he has his shit together, and so many of the big scary things that have happened with him have happened out of sight of the group. In the recent past he’s been getting better at opening up to Caduceus, but even this is because Caduceus has seen the aftermath of his dreams, and because there’s now a tie between them that plays into Fjord’s god-curiosity. I’m hoping this will grow into Fjord being more open with the rest of the group, especially now that Caleb has also confronted him, but this all remains up in the air.

And while it’s not as though no one has asked Jester how she’s doing, or talked to her about her tendency to obfuscate her feelings of sadness, she also hasn’t really been pushed. When she’s feeling distraught and questioning her faith after the Iron Shepherds Arc, the Traveler reassures her, but also does so by directly referencing her joy. Aside from her conversation with Beau after the blue dragon fight, there hasn’t been a huge external moment that challenged the way she hides behind her happiness. 

Nott’s big moments have also prompted her to double down on the ways she deflects and obfuscates. Nott deflects to cope—she has a hard time dealing with big emotions, so she plays them off. Nott was moved and clearly deeply affected by Molly’s death, but it didn’t get at one of her flaws in the same way it did with Beau. Nott has never had trouble admitting to loving or caring for others. Discovering Yeza had been captured prompts her to reveal her backstory to the group, but unlike with Caleb, keeping her past secret wasn’t really the thing holding her back with the group. Her biggest thing has always been that she tends not to be honest about herself in a more fundamental sense. The group certainly knows more of her and her complexity now, and being in Xhorhas has made her more comfortable with some aspects of herself, but she’s still not really being open and honest about her fears. She’s tried with Caleb, but she’s also in a place where she just wants him to fix it, more than trying to have a conversation about what her specific fears are and trying to have an actual conversation about that. 

And another problem, is that while Caleb and Beau are starting to get pretty good at interpersonal conversations—especially with each other—they are both also people inclined to deflecting and holding back. When someone comes to them they are good at having an open conversation. They’re both—especially Beau—getting pretty good at checking in with people. But they’re both also likely to let someone to deflect, or to wait for someone to return to them instead of following up on a difficult conversation. In some ways that’s good—I think it would be more of a detriment than anything for Caleb to try to push Fjord again—but in others it means that everyone is generally keeping up with their typical patterns.

And then there’s Caduceus, who falls outside of this in a lot of ways, but who also has his own trouble opening up. Part of Caduceus’ thing is that he is almost too easily comforted by the concept of destiny. I’m really genuinely happy that he’s not experiencing any trauma over literally dying. But the extent to which the Wildmother’s vision comforted him means that we also lost out on what might have been a productive conversation between him and Nott. Jester comforting him during the Pirate Arc was important and sweet, but it also meant we didn’t get much of an idea of what Caduceus wants from the group. The fact that Caduceus—for whatever reason—seems to be reluctant to open up to the group means that even while he is an important steadying and nurturing presence in the group, he feels at a remove from the rest of them in a lot of ways. And while his judgy-streak isn’t overt in exactly the same ways as Molly’s or Percy’s, he tends to carry himself in a way that can make him come across as a kind of moral authority that I imagine might make it difficult for people to feel like they can come to him with the uglier bits of themselves.

Every week we’re all exhorting the group to just talk to each other, but even when they try to, they’re all so frequently lying and deflecting—and believing each other’s lies and deflection. And I’m so fascinated by how everyone’s gotten to the places they are at, and where they’ll all go from this point on. As always, I hope that this bout in the tomb will prompt a larger group talk with Nott, but I’m nervous that it will take something in the drastic range of, say, Nott’s recklessness killing her or a (different) party member before that happens.

[critical-analysis]

Trust and the Mighty Nein

The big theme of this week's episode of Critical Role seemed to be trust. We started out with the Mighty Nein agreeing that they couldn't go it alone in the way they have been and that they needed to put their trust in a people and be honest in their search for help with their problems. And we saw them doing that, first with Essek, then in their decision to consult Yussa and their immediate trust of Allura.

The Mighty Nein has, for awhile now, been very selective with where they put their trust, playing things close to the vest and not really ever trusting anyone with all the information of what they know, what they’e done, and what their goals are. They’re turning a corner now, as a bunch of stressful disappointments have left them in need of a new way of doing things, as well as in need of someone else to help carry the weight a bit.

Their trust issues don’t come from nowhere. As a group, they’ve experienced a number of difficult experiences that, while strengthening the bonds between them as a group, has also made them somewhat insular, with an anxiety about letting in outsides. Individual members of the group also have their own experiences in their backstory that have a huge impact on their ability to trust.

This unwillingness to trust other people hasn't always been quite as present as it is now. While they took a very long time to come to fully trust each other, earlier on in the campaign they were more willing to trust people outside of the group. They became tight with Bryce very quickly, despite the fact that they're a member of the guard and many in the Mighty Nein have serious issues with authority. They were also very quick to trust Shakasta without much question.  Even the Gentleman, someone they knew to be a criminal, was met with at least some level of trust pretty quickly. There were certainly times here and there that they were suspicious of people and didn't trust them, but these tended to be instances where a person did or said a specific thing that made them suspicious. For awhile in the beginning, the Mighty Nein seemed to open with trust far more often.

It wasn't until after Yasha, Jester, and Fjord were abducted and Molly was killed that they started to be less trusting by default. The first people they encountered following the trio's abduction and Molly's death, respectively, were Keg and Nila, and they - very understandably - were quite suspicious to start with, though they obviously developed a trust with them. But their immediate instinct was to not trust them. Then came Avantika, who they, again, very understandably, had good reason not to trust, and they spent some time in a situation where they had no reason to trust the people they were running with, and where they knew they weren't trusted in kind. They were then thrust into a war that was far bigger than them, where one side was the Empire, which at least a couple of them had reason not to trust, and the Dynasty, who they'd been told for a long time were the bad guys and who, when the group initially started on their path to Xhorhas, had kidnapped one of their husbands. Even people that they came to trust, like Twiggy, was met with suspicion initially (and it does have to be noted that players are naturally going to be more willing to trust other PCs than not, and it can be hard not to let that impact how the characters behave).

I think this, all added up together, really goes a long way in explaining how their reluctance to trust people developed. They had a long while there were they had very, very good reason not to trust people. They spent a significant amount of time stuck with people they knew they couldn't trust. And then they ended up in a situation where they had no choice but the align themselves with the powerful Dynasty, who had kidnapped Nott's husband. They also knew that they weren't trusted. While the specifics of the situation aren't similar, their experience with the Dynasty was pretty similar to the situation with Avantika in terms of how they ended up allied and the lack of trust the was given and received. Like with Avantika, they tried to manage the situation in a way that was unsuccessful, ended up with their lives on the line as a result, and were forced to align their interests in order to survive. In both situations there was very little trust between the two groups. They went from one high stress, low trust situation to another. They'd become used to working to their own means from within a group that had their own goals, and trying to do while establishing a trust they know they didn't have with people they didn't trust themselves. So when presented with a similar situation, that went to what they knew. It wasn't something that came out of nowhere.

A lack of trust in general also makes sense for a lot of the characters. While Jester and Caduceus have, just in general, shown more of a willingness to trust people, probably largely due to their more sheltered upbringing, everyone else in the group has demonstrated issues with trust, and they all have very good reasons in their backstory for that.

Beau's issues with trust are interesting, because while there are definitely things in her backstory that suggest reasons for it, we still don't know all that much about the specifics of that backstory, so there's a lot we can't know for sure. To start with, it's pretty clear that her parents, or at least her father, didn't trust her much. Whether that lack of trust started before her criminal career and was unearned or it didn't start until after she started to steal from his company and sell it on the black market, either way, there was a clear lack of parental trust, and that can have an impact on how a person develops in terms of their ability to trust, for several reasons. Not having their parents' trust can make kids feel very alone and isolated, and it can make them assume that people aren't going to trust them (something I think Beau has demonstrated more than once). They can then start to project that onto other people by not trust them, even if a person hasn't done anything to earn that lack of trust. Not having a parent's trust can make a child then feel like they're not worth of trust, which they might, again, then project onto other people.  Even if trust wasn't a particularly sore spot in a parent/child relationship, kids can learn not to trust when they don't feel secure in the idea of their parents' love and support.

There's a chemical element to trust. Oxytocin, what some call the "love chemical", is released during all kinds of intimate and close interactions between people, and it's one of the main hormones at play in establishing not just bonding, but trust. If a child doesn't have an intimacy with their parents, if they don't have those moments that establish that bonding and closeness, then they don't get the release of oxytocin that helps to solidify the trust that exists between parent and child. Not having those hormones release when they're young, not having the brain learn how to trust and having the pathways and hormone releases established makes it harder for the brain to trust in the future. The amygdala and caudate nucleus also come into play, as the amygdala has a lot to do with our emotions and fear learning, while the caudate nucleus is involved in our brain's responses to rewards and has been shown to play a significant role in how we learn to trust. (x) (x) Not having relationships that foster and teach us to trust while these parts of the brain are developing (when we're children) means that a person learns to be more fearful than trusting and to not have the same reward-association with trust that people who grow up with positive trusting relationships have. So a person like Beau, who clearly grew up in a home not just where she wasn't trusted, but where she didn't have a close, intimate relationship with her parents, is naturally not going to have the positive trust-based experiences that help their brain develop a positive reaction to the idea of trust.

Fjord's situation, when it comes to his childhood, was similar to Beau's when it comes to a lack of a trusting parental presence, but it's very different due to the lack of any kind of parental presence in his young life at all. He didn't know his parents, and he spent his youth in an orphanage. As far as we know without any close relationships. We've heard of no adults with whom he had any significant relationship, and he was bullied by a lot of the kids. So while he didn't have a parent who was actively creating an insecure situation that specifically created a lack of trust, like Beau did, not having someone to create that kind of trust with can have a very similar impact in the way the important parts of the brain don't develop with that learning and knowledge of how trust works. So while Fjord doesn't have the intense trust issues that someone like Beau, who specifically had at least one parent creating a situation where she not just didn't learn trust, but learned not to trust, not learning to trust as a child can definitely make trusting later more difficult. Also, being bullied by other kids could have had a more general impact on his interpersonal relationship with other people and the walls he'd have put up to protect himself. There are a lot of walls of that sort, and one of them is not trusting them to treat you decently, so you put up walls and refuse to open yourself up to anyone.

He did experience some what some people might consider betrayals, with Sabien apparently blowing up the ship and later learning that Vandren had been a follower of Uk'atoa at one point, but I don't think much has happened that shows that either of these things has had much of an impact on his overall ability to trust. Fjord didn't get along with Sabien, and he pretty clearly didn't trust him even before the explosion on the ship, so while what Sabien did was a betrayal of the crew in general, if Fjord didn't trust him, then psychologically speaking what he did wasn't even actually a betrayal. As far as Vandren goes, Fjord doesn't seem to really consider the idea that Vandren as one point, probably before they ever met, followed Uk'atoa, as a betrayal. Nor does he seem to feel betrayed by the fact that Vandren is still alive. So while some people may look at these things as betrayals, Fjord doesn't seem to (though, honestly, he might if he took some time to consider the what it could possibly mean that his mentor followed Uk'atoa, got away, and then by some horrible turn of events HE ended up with Uk'atoa as his patron), so it hasn't really shown any impact on his relationship with trust. That he's been more likely not to trust than the other way around seems to come more form just having a childhood where he didn't learn trust one way or the other. Which makes sense, because while he's definitely shown a reluctance to trust people at time, it's not nearly as extreme as Caleb or Beau.

Caleb grew up in a very stable household with parents that, but his own account, were very loving and supportive. From everything we've been told, he had a solid, healthy, trusting relationship with his parents that would have produced no issues with trust. It wasn't until he went away to the Academy and became involved with Trent Ikathon that he had an experience that would hugely impact his relationship with trust. It makes sense that he would trust Trent so easily. As far as we know he wasn't brought up with any sort of trauma or negative experience that would impact his development in a way that would cause trust issues. There's also the fact that, as Liam has said, his parents were very "pro-Empire", nationalistic people. So the people he trusted taught him to trust the Empire and everything and everyone that supported its interests.

The previously cited study on trust and oxytocin found some really interesting things regarding the result of betrayal, people's likeliness to forgive and continue to trust, and oxytocin's role in how trust is adversely impacted by betrayal. They found that when something had been done to re-earn the trust (in the study, giving back the "fake" money that had been taken), people were more likely to still be willing to trust, but in cases where nothing was done to re-earn trust, the reaction to the betrayal was far worse, going so far as to a development of revenge-based behavior. That occurred largely in women, and it was hypothesized that it was because women tend to have more oxytocin than men. (x) So that would suggest that the higher the level of oxytocin, the more negative the reaction betrayal. Which makes sense, as the more oxytocin, the stronger the bond and the stronger the trust. When betrayal occurs, the same oxytocin that fostered that trust and closeness takes a turn. It's a hormone that makes your resulting actions based very much on emotion rather than logic, so when you're betrayed, when that bond is broken, it triggers your brain into emotional decisions based around protecting your from painful emotion. In extreme cases, that can mean seeking revenge. In less extreme cases, it can mean damaging your ability to trust in future situations. (x)

From what we know, I think it can be assumed that Caleb had a very trusting relationship with Trent, one that was fostered not just by the mentor/protege relationship that existed between them, but also by his trust in the Empire that he learned from his parents, with whom he had an incredibly close and trusting relationship. So the relationship and trust he had in Trent was based on just on their relationship alone, but on the trust he had in the things that came before. A strong bond and trust like that would be fostered by high levels of oxytocin, so when that trust was betrayed and that bond was broken, Caleb's brain went into protective mode, making it harder for him to trust people. And because of the specific situation he was in, learning of the deception of larger organizations like the Academy and the Empire itself, and the trust he had in those things being broken, he's more likely to be distrustful of similar groups and things.

Nott is interesting because while she has said she was made fun of by other kids for not being pretty, her childhood has seemed to be otherwise stable (though, admittedly, she hasn't talked much about it). She then went on to have a very stable marriage with a man who, even now, is still loving, faithful, and trustworthy. Like Caleb, it wasn't until she was a bit older (though older than Caleb was at the time of his trust-breaking incident) that she went through anything that would have a negative impact on her ability to trust. Unlike Caleb though, it wasn't an individual event that effected her. No, it wasn't being turned into a goblin. She already distrusted goblins, so being hurt by goblins wouldn't have an effect on her ability to trust.

It was the way she was treated by the rest of the world for being a goblin that seems to have had such a negative impact on her ability to trust. Goblins are generally hated throughout the world, and most people have no problem openly showing that, so not trusting people had to have become a means of protection. She'd experienced that most people were going to be awful to her, so she quickly became unable to trust that anyone would be kind and decent to her. There's a similarity to Fjord and his childhood here, although she doesn't have the same experience, as far as we know, of having no parental presence to help them develop a learn trust and what it means. Nott's issues with trust seem to be much more recent, and they have sadly impacted her relationship with her husband, as she has, at points, not trusted that he wouldn't treat her the way everyone else does.

Jester and Caduceus haven't had the same sort of experiences that would cause those kinds of trust issues. Jester had a very positive and present parent with whom she obviously has an incredibly close and trusting relationship, and we've also seen that she has close and trusting relationships with people who work at the Lavish Chateau. So prior to her experiences with the Mighty Nein, she'd never had an experience that would give her issues with trust. (Which makes me hope very, very hard that the Traveler is good and exactly who Jester thinks he is, because she trusts him so much and having that trust shattered, when it's such a strong bond, could be absolutely devastating to her). She has been, for the most part, extremely trusting of people in general. I think she's become more wary for awhile now, which probably stems from having been abducted. While she wasn't kidnapped by someone she trusted, because of how sheltered she was Jester just kind of trusted people and person-kind (I don't know if that's the right term or a good term. It wouldn't be "humankind" because not everyone in this world are humans, so I don't know what the fantasy version of "humankind" would be) in general, and finding out how dark and horrible people can be, and how it can hurt her, has impacted her ability to trust. But still not to the point that the previously discussed characters have.

Caduceus doesn't really seem to have much of an issue with trust at all, and it looks like he only distrusts people when they've really given him a reason to, like Avantika. I think this comes down to a few things. We know he had a large family and that he was close to them, which means several positive trust-fostering relationships, and while it would be easy to dismiss him as overly trusting due to being sheltered until recently, I think that's a little dismissive of his bonkers high wisdom/perception. I think he has a relatively healthy relationship with trust, and that if anything he just kind of goes with the flow with the rest of the group when it comes to their reluctance to trust and be open than any of it coming from his own stuff. I think he was sheltered, and that it had an impact on his relationship with trust, but not in a way that it made him naive, as I think could be said for Jester. It just kept him from being put into a position where he gave his trust to the wrong person/people and had it betrayed. Now, he wasn't as perceptive/wise as he is, that could absolutely have caused a naivety. But thanks to how perceptive he is and how well he's able to read people, he's able to make decisions about who to trust and who not to trust in more informed and less emotional ways.

I think Caduceus’ influence has actually gone a long way in helping them to trust people, but I think that so much of their willingness to trust has a lot to do with each other. It took a lot of work, but the Mighty Nein learned to trust each other, and while some difficult times made them develop a sort of “us against the world” mentality with their trust for each other, they’ve reached a point now where they’ve helped each other learn to trust more than they ever have.

One of the things that I find really interesting about their willingness to trust, especially in their choice to choose to be so open with Essek, is that the choice was made in the same episode that they discovered for certain that they weren't trusted by the Dynasty, and that they found their trust was, in a way, being violated by the higher ups scrying on them. Yes, they said when they moved into the house that they were probably being watched the whole time. But it's pretty clear that as time has gone on they'd grown comfortable and complacent in the house, not really thinking much about the idea that they were being watched, considering some of the discussions they've had there. While they used Caduceus communing with Melora to figure out who was doing it, I was surprised that they were so quick to use the answers as definitive confirmation that they could trust Essek, considering the question was just "was it Essek" and not about whether or not he knew anything about it. I think it's a safe assumption to think that he probably does, but I'm not sure if the group thinks the same thing and have just decided that it's okay, or if they haven't even considered that he might be aware of it. The former would say a lot about their willingness to trust.

I imagine so much of the group's willingness to trust Allura so quickly was because while the characters weren't already familiar with her, the players were. Some might call that metagaming, and it might be, but I think it's okay. Really, I think Allura was put there on purpose by Matt for specifically this reason, at least in part. The group has had a rough go of it lately. They've been bested twice by Obann, losing Yasha in one encounter (and it could be argued in both, as it would be understandable if at least some of them thought that they might be able to save her the second time around). And both of those situations were made worse by the fact that both times they had pursued Obann after convincing the Dynasty (or at the very least, a representative) of how important it was that they go, only to lose and allow - in their minds - yet another great evil be brought forth. Even small things, like their banning from certain branches of the Cobalt Soul, have taken a toll on the Mighty Nein and their confidence in themselves. Their stress at essentially playing two sides and their reluctance to really open up to allies about it has also been mounting. As a player, that can become upsetting and frustrating. Maybe not in a "ruins the game completely, this isn't fun at all anymore" way, but definitely in a way that can effect how fun the game is in the moment. And while giving a group a more fun, traditional adventure to go on to break up the stress and the feeling of constant failure is something that can definitely help, that can turn out to be something of a short term solution that. It helps bring the fun back for the players and relieve some of the stress, but once they finish the adventure it usually means going back to the other story. Inserting something more permanent into the story, though, can be a huge help. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what Matt was going with Allura. It's not just a temporary reprieve of joy at being able to see a character they loved from the first campaign. It's a character that the players know from the start that they can trust, someone who can become an ongoing ally. The players might not know that, but when you're in a situation where you have players who are stressed out because of things that have been going on in the game, especially when the game has them in a situation where they don't know if they're safe trusting people, giving the players someone they KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that they can trust can be incredibly helpful. Some might say "okay, as long as they don't metagame and have them immediately trust them." But I would argue that ultimately being able to decrease the stress of the group and making it enjoyable for them is more important than the idea of metagaming is, and if the worst thing that occurs in order for that to happen is that the characters immediately trust a character they wouldn't otherwise, then it's worth it. (/DM rant over)

If an important step for many of the Mighty Nein to take, choosing to start to trusts people, share what they know, and ask for help openly, and the fact that they did so in an episode where they discovered for sure that they weren't being trusted by their most current allies, and where they had, in a way, had their trust broken. It's been a long time coming, and in a way I think they were rewarded with Allura, an ally that we know can be trusted. This whole "playing things close to the vest" and not trusting people has defined the Mighty Nein for so long, it will be interesting to see if they're able to stick to being more trusting and what kind of results they get from it.