#moe's soap box

[pseudolife-archived2]

headcanon drop: molly owens & roach

If at any point in time, if either of them have to pack a lunch for their s/o(s), the quality of the food depends on their behavior the night before. Moe is a spiteful bitch, and Roach is just like that.

[stars-tonight]

hihii! :D

I recently got sucked back into the haikyuu rabbit hole, and I've been reading quite a few of your matchup series. They're so well written and thoughtful! If it's possible, I'd like to have one long romantic matchup too (and a short platonic one as well, but if it's too much, then just a couple one would be amazing!!)

1. no special preferences, I like surprises

2. female, any pronouns, would like to be matched with guys please

3. Ideal partner: caring and observant, comfortable to be around. Would tell you if you're making a not so ideal decision. Would sometimes partake in stupid ideas. Gap moe 🤭. A bit possessive. Intelligence is hot.

4. Personality traits: quite clumsy, quite forgetful. Shy and quiet around strangers, talkative and clingy around the (few) people I'm comfortable with. Very easy to make me admire someone. Absolutel useless in social settings. Somehow does well in school despite basically being an idiot. I've also been told I'm silly so that's that. I would try my best for other people. My internal energy depletes real quick and I get tired easily.

5. Hobbies: Drawing (I can draw for you if you want ;;; Which character do you like ;-;), gaming, collecting notebooks and stickers but never using them, reading fiction books and manga, cosplaying. For sports, I like playing volleyball, badminton, and ice-skating

6. Giving: acts of service, gift giving (e.g. random rocks I find) | Recieveing: any and everything, I'll take what I can get ;-;

7. study date!!

8. INFP :D / Likes: chewy foods, sour foods, cats, chinchillas, whale sharks!!! / Dislikes: big crowds, noises, foods that are too sweet or too salty, bugs that are not in cages, cilantro (I don't think it tastes like soap, I just don't like it)

I hope you have a nice week!! congrats on 100 followers and take care ^ ^

headcanons

🥛 i feel like while tsukishima can be satirical and sometimes rude, he's not overly intense (in fact he's almost too passive sometimes) and thus wouldn't be nerve-inducing to be around

🥛 especially if you're already friends or partners, moments with tsukishima will just be spent often in comfortable silence

🥛 but he'd definitely tell you if you were making a stupid decision lol

🥛 and ig what really made me lock in tsukishima for you was that "a bit possessive. intelligence is hot" statement

🥛 because you can't tell me tsukishima isn't intelligent or wouldn't be possessive of his partner

🥛 he'd always scold you for being clumsy or forgetful

🥛 but he'd do things to help you silently

🥛 for example, if you constantly forget a hair tie, he'll start bringing one in his pocket when you hang out together in case you needed one

🥛 you're both introverts so you'd probably spend most of your time indoors and alone together

🥛 or at least somewhere private like a quiet library or a corner of a coffee shop

🥛 he'd definitely like it if you came to his games (he's not about to beg you though) and he'd definitely pull the "i'm not coming to your game i have better things to do" but then show up at your game

🥛 oh my goodness if you ever drew him and showed him he'd be such a blushing mess!

🥛 lowkey charmed you thought he was worth drawing and is impressed at the amount of time and effort you spent on the drawing

🥛 of course, he will say none of this out loud

🥛 he pretends to not care about gifts you give him (like your rocks) but secretly keeps them all in a box in his room

🥛 since you're both pretty good in school you'd definitely have study dates often

🥛 tsukishima would definitely tutor you if you ever asked, although you'd have to suffer some sassy remarks

runner up for you was iwaizumi hajime!

A/N: hi! i ended up doing a lot of matchups today so i was able to get to yours :) also thank you so much for offering to draw for me! no rush at all but i'm super excited lol your platonic matchup came out in a different post

[meowburgerz]

ur blog is propagandizing me into a bailey lover 🙏🏻🙏🏻 pls share ur fav things about bailey :) -propertyofkylar

HOORAY!!!!!! BAILEY GAP MOE INFLUENCE IS SPREADING !!!!!!

me personally i love how shitty stupid he is. like he has such a power trip over everyone its hilarious cuz hes just a silly little guy.

more under cut!

i also love how we barely know anything of him... its fun to theorize and assume things ^_^ me personally i think hes kind once you get to know him. hes definitely super fucking defensive but once you get to him like bobby has he gets a teensy bit more friendly.

i love the scene at christmas where theres one present left for him... hes so cute. who got it for him. why cant we watch him open it!!! maybe he got legos. or a teddy bear. or a box of chocolates BUT I NEED TO SEE !!!!!!!

hes so gap moe. so fucking gap moe he looks tough and scary and hes like nearly 200cm tall but i know when he gets home he says hello to all his plushies and he smokes while he waits for his rosewater face mask to sink in and then he watches soap operas in the dark before sleeping with his favourite teddy bear (it has its own striped pyjamas and sleeping cap)

hes basically mr bean but evil in my mind ouggggg

[nedflames]

Kinda tired of people citing the fact that Danny and Cody went to prestigious universities as evidence for their intelligence. They're also in high postions of privilege (which absolutely plays into their acceptance to those schools and their means to afford it). It's not that important. I think they're smart but I think Drew and Noel are just as intelligent and both of them dropped out of college.

I also think its annoying that people are surprised Danny and Cody are smart (only with their college ed as proof mind you) because they're comedians and ya know, the implication there is that comedy is a low-skill, low-quality, mass-apeal, low-tier art and therefore their intelligence is wasted on it.

[eirian-houpe]

The Library Beneath the Clock Tower - Chapter 43

Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Belle/Gaston (Once Upon a Time)

Characters: Belle (Once Upon a Time), Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Red Riding Hood | Ruby, Widow Lucas | Granny, Grumpy | Leroy, Maurice | Moe French, Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Merida (Once Upon a Time), Jiminy Cricket | Archie Hopper, Gaston (Once Upon a Time), Le Fou, Mad Hatter | Jefferson, Prince Charming | David Nolan, Gus | Billy, Huntsman | Sheriff Graham, Mother Trude (Fairytale Character)

Additional Tags: Bookshop On the Corner, slightly AU, Cursed Storybrooke (Once Upon a Time), Alternate Universe - In Storybrooke | Cursed (Once Upon a Time), Eventual Smut

Summary: Storybrooke has no library, and neither does Belle, not since the library where she worked in Boston discovered her past as an inpatient at a mental hospital. Taking her future into her own hands, Belle travels to Storybrooke where her intention is to open up the town library, but all does not go according to her plan. Obstacles and false starts, and diversion along very wrong pathways interrupt her journey toward fulfilling her dream, as well as taking her rightful place and becoming a part of the Storybrooke community.

Winner of the 2020 Espenson Award, Best Book AU.

Read previous chapters on AO3

Chapter 43 - Determination.

In comparison to how long it took Belle to fall asleep the night before, it took her almost twice as long to wake the following morning. She felt as though she were prying her eyes open with a wet noodle as successful as she was, which wasn’t very, and although she had mentally promised herself a bath for this morning, she decided it would be more prudent to take a shower. One she hoped would wake her up.

She also decided on coffee and not tea as was her usual habit, and set the coffee pot to percolate before heading back to the bathroom. As she passed through the bedroom on the way, she caught sight of the dress, hanging from the dresser door, and everything from the night before came flooding back.

The dancing, the anticipation for the lighting of the fire; the sudden rush of light and heat as the bonfire lit, reaching for the stars that seemed to burst overhead as the fireworks flew skyward. The touch of hands - Golds and her own - and the absolute certainty in her heart, in her belly, that the flicker of thoughts and images, the nonsense that raced through her mind as memory, were absolutely true.

“No,” she told herself aloud, even stamping a foot as her eyes filled with tears. “This is ridiculous, it’s all rubbish!”

She tore herself away from the bedroom, from the sight of the dress and into the bathroom, shedding her night dress as if it caused offense and stepping into the shower even before the frigid water had begun to turn warm, then hot. The captive tears fell, and her body shook with sobs she didn’t understand.

“We never met,” she told herself through the sobs, “Not until I came to Storybrooke, how could any of that…?”

She trailed off, standing under the cascade of water as she willed the thoughts away, as if she could slough them away with the soap she stripped from her body. She wouldn’t think about it any more. There were other, more practical; more worrying things she’d learned from Gold before the events of the festival.

She snapped off the water, and grabbed the nearest towel as she stepped out and began to dry herself, looking around as she did at the apartment that she called home, and felt comfortable and happy doing so. What would happen if the library apartment came to be owned by Jones? What would that mean? A less than forgiving landlord who would expect rent on the place separate from the rent she paid to Gold for the Library? Would he simply want her to leave and evict her, leaving her no place to go while he moved in his latest conquest? She had no idea where that thought came from, but it felt very close to the truth, at least in her eyes.

It was as though everything were coming unraveled again, and this time she would have to leave Storybrooke and find a new start somewhere else. Though the thought made her belly lurch again, it might not be such a bad thing to put some distance between herself and Mister Gold after all, but… what if she didn’t want to?

She growled at herself as she toweled her hair dry and chased herself round and round in circles with her thoughts. She needed to keep busy. She needed to stop herself from over-thinking everything and so, almost on a whim, she decided that she would open the library today after all, even if everywhere else stayed closed.

She wasn’t wrong about thinking that either. It was a bright, beautifully sunny day and so she propped the library doors open to give the place a good airing out. Through the opened doors as she stood at the circulation desk she could see the closed doors, and the lack of the usual foot traffic up and down the town streets. She opened the returns box, and checked in, repaired and shelved the books even before the first hour of the day was passed, and so her plan of keeping busy to prevent herself from thinking was scuppered even before it began.

She found herself standing at the circulation desk, idly making notes on a blank piece of paper, of all the places she might try to start over in much the same way that someone might doodle as their mind wandered. Most places were on the East coast, but a few were flung further afield, even to foreign countries.

“Miss Belle?”

The voice made her jump, and on instinct she dropped the pencil and screwed the sheet of paper into a ball in her hand, ashamed that she’d even been contemplating leaving Storybrooke, let alone making a list of where to go.

“Paige!” She gave the girl a smile, which the girl returned, but the smiled did not even get close to her eyes.

“Surprised you’re open today,” Paige said, and she even sounded glum. “I can stay though, if you need me.” Belle shook her head, about to tell the girl that she really didn’t need the help today, but before she could utter a word of it, Paige went on. “I don’t mind the hard work, nor the dirty work, you know I don’t. I can—”

“Paige, it’s all right,” Belle told her kindly, and then came around the desk to gently cup her fingers around Paige’s cheek. “I know you’re an excellent worker, it’s not that I doubt that - ever. It’s just that there really isn’t anything to do. Even I’m bored.” As if to both prove her words, and to hide what she’d been doing she held out her hand containing the crumpled paper and showed the ball of it to Paige before using both hands to be sure it couldn’t be easily opened and read, before tossing it into the trash can in the corner. “But you’re more than welcome to stay and read… if you’d like. Actually I’d like the company.”

Paige smiled, genuinely this time, and threw a hug around Belle’s waist before a murmured ‘thank you’ accompanied her footsteps toward the quiet corner. The smile fell from her face a moment later, though, when the heavy tread of Miss Trude, rolled like thunder over the library entrance.

“I thought I might find you here, my girl,” she virtually spat in Paige’s direction. “Shame on you, with so much to be done.”

“Excuse me—” Belle began, but Trude paid her no mind, riding rough-shod over both her words, and Paige’s obvious fear.

“It’s not like that, Miss Trude,” the girl began, “You always tell me a girl has to keep her promises, and it being Saturday, I—”

“…Dare you quote my own words back at me!” Trude snapped. “Get you home, right now, and see to your family, and your chores.”

Paige practically dropped the book she had been holding ready to read, and fled from the library even before Belle managed to find the words to reassure her, to stand up to that bully of a neighbor.

“And you!” Trude rounded on her. “You just keep your nose out.”

“Now, just a minute!” Belle spluttered with all the indignation of the last few weeks, but Trude ignored even that, and with her nose in the air, turned and stomped out of the library twice as loudly as she had entered.

Belle stood for a moment almost reeling and uncertain what it was she had just witnessed, but the more she thought about it, the more she grew uneasy, and the more her unease grew, the stronger her determination - in spite of Trude’s warning - to find out just what was going on. She nodded and then, before she could second guess herself and change her mind, walked around the circulation desk, and used the computer to look up Paige’s address which she scribbled on a piece of paper that she slipped into her pocket. She grabbed the sign that she had taken off the library doors scant few hours before, and affixed it to the doors again. Then, she took a deep breath, locked up the library, and set off toward Paige Grace’s house. She was determined that she would speak with her parents and get to the bottom of everything once and for all.

It wasn’t far, and after only a few twists and turns she found the street and started down it, looking for the number on the mailbox or the door. When she saw the tumbledown excuse for a dwelling behind the number 117, first she gasped, and then double checked the number she had written for Paige’s home.

The yard was overgrown, wild with weeds and in among them hints of broken pots and other discarded household items; a wooden chair, one of its legs broken and tied together with twine sat propped up against the peeling blue siding that covered the front of the house, and - Belle feared - hid a multitude of sins beneath. There were cracks in one or two of the windows, and all of them were dirty, grimy as though they hadn’t seen a cleaning cloth in years. Several of the shingles had come loose from the roof and were hanging precariously from gutters that seemed stuffed with leaves and debris, and Belle loathed to think what it was like in the rain. In fact, it looked as though the two storey building should have been condemned many years ago.

She was not, generally, one to judge, but Belle couldn’t help but wonder what parent in their right mind would let things get so bad when there were children involved, and with a breath, she set off down the broken path towards the front door, resolute in her intent to discover Paige’s sorry situation, and hopefully, to help.

Stopping on the porch that was broken underfoot, she raised her hand and knocked.

[deepdarkwaters]

Finger sucking, thigh biting, very tiny underpants Hartwin filth

Eggsy unfastens the ribbon and flips up the cardboard lid, eyeing the four eclairs lined up inside like perfect little jewels. "So what's what?"

"Dark chocolate and Earl Grey," Harry says, fingertips hovering over each in turn. "Raspberry and rose. Blackberry cheesecake. Salted butter caramel."

"They're so pretty," Eggsy croons in the same voice he uses when he's praising a passing stranger's extremely tiny dog, then looks vaguely embarrassed with himself and laughs a bit, taking a self-conscious swallow of beer. "Almost don't wanna eat these, seems rude to put your mouth all over art like that. Like sucking off the David statue for instagram."

"People don't do that, surely?" Harry asks, fascinated and horrified, caught somewhere extraordinarily painful between being disgusted at the idea of such sacrilege and knowing he's still going to spend the next several nights picturing Eggsy getting off with a very pale giant now the idea's been planted. Eggsy just grins and shoves the box closer to Harry.

"You pick first."

"No, you, I insist. They're a gift, after all."

"Yeah, but how am I meant to choose? They're all fucking masterpieces." His hand hovers over the box for a moment, fingers twiddling in a way that makes Harry wonder whether he's doing a silent eeny meeny miny moe, then he carefully lifts the blackberry one, gives it a hungry inspection from every angle, and takes a bite. Pink cheesecake cream immediately oozes out of the sides, clinging stickily to his fingers and thumb, and he takes his merry time licking it all back off again making lush little mmm noises the whole way.

Harry stares very hard at the tiny print on the label of his beer bottle, willing the sweat at his temples to get back inside his skin and stop causing a scene.

"Oh my god it's actually cheesecake on the bottom, it's biscuit crumbs." Yes, Harry thinks despairingly, I can see that, your cursed tongue is chasing every single spilled one around and around your fingers. "You didn't have to go fucking nuts, I woulda been more than happy with some limp soggy Greggs offering."

"I've never been in a Greggs and I certainly don't intend to start now," Harry says, eyes still averted, although he can't block out the sloppy sounds of Eggsy's greedy tongue cleaning up the last of the spillage. "You deserve—"

He stops abruptly before he can embarrass himself further. So does Eggsy, hesitating with his first two fingers lodged in his mouth to the middle knuckle then sliding them out wetly, glistening with saliva and the last traces of leftover cream. "What?" he asks, giving Harry a bit of teasing side-eye and a nudge in the arm with his elbow.

"Nicer things than that," Harry manages.

"Well, first of all fuck you because Greggs is the actual bollocks and you're a snob." Suddenly Harry finds the eclair in front of his face, held up so close to him that his eyes can't focus on it and it blurs into a pinkish smudge. "Let's half and half these, I don't wanna miss out on any of them."

Too taken aback to do anything else, Harry obediently takes a bite of the eclair. Again, the filling oozes out the sides as the layers compress, coating Eggsy's sticky fingertips anew.

"Huh," Eggsy says softly, turning his hand this way and that, inspecting the mess of cream and crumbs. He's crept closer, the warmth of his leg pressed right up to Harry's. "You missed a bit."

Perhaps more than most people a Kingsman agent should understand the value of a good long hard think before you go barging into something foolish, but Harry's never really been very good at that sort of thing. He can fixate and fret as well as anyone, but still there's that impudent little gremlin somewhere deep down in his brain that springs shamelessly to life the moment it sees a monumental opportunity open up that didn't seem to be there before. It's the thing that gets him flinging himself up the outside of a house without permission to steal vital information. It's also the thing that makes him look Eggsy brazenly in the eye and suck both offered fingers between his lips.

Eggsy makes a beautiful, unspellable little noise in his throat. Voice trembling, very quietly, he says, "Good, right?"

"Wonderful," Harry murmurs, holding Eggsy by the wrist to turn his hand over and clean off every speck of cream with his ravenous tongue.

"You want some more?"

"Yes, please."

Eggsy gives a startled, hushed little giggle, as though he'd expected a different answer and is absolutely blindsided to have received this one. He squeezes the eclair gently in his other hand, scooping a fingerful of bulging cream filling from the side and bringing it back to Harry's mouth, where the flat of Harry's tongue meets the underside of Eggsy's finger and curves up on either side to lick it clean with a starving swipe. The sweetness and tartness of the blackberry cream floods his mouth—then Eggsy's tongue is there as well, it's his tongue that touches Harry's mouth before his lips do, which is such a beautifully backwards approach to a kiss that a galaxy of goosebumps shivers right up the length of Harry's spine to explode like fireworks in his brain. He sits perfectly still, unwilling to move in case it shatters this tentative little soap-bubble moment, and lets Eggsy explore him: Eggsy's tongue, careful and uncharacteristically timid, flickers tiny hesitant touches to the sugar traces on Harry's lower lip, and when he swallows audibly the shivering little breath he lets out after falls as warm as a kiss on Harry's mouth, although it's still not a kiss, not yet.

"Harry," Eggsy murmurs, then makes that shaky little laughing sound again when he feels the tip of Harry's tongue tracing the line of his cupid's bow in return. "I think we got it all."

"Yes," Harry agrees. Their noses bump gently. Eggsy sighs again, a quivering lovely hopeful little sound.

"I'm gonna sit on you," he says, then repeats it more decisively, his jaw set the way it is when he's talking himself up to do something brave out on a job. "I'm gonna fucking sit on you for a bit. Right on your lap."

FULL THING ON AO3 HERE

[theleastcarefulofgamedevs]

hehehehehehehehe ur turn. overshare pals

hehe im lov u ceec :)

---

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles and soda cans!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate.... im lov it

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

hardworking, earnest, and honestly? they gave me too much credit ebagweaganegioawnegew

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

somewhere between boho, goth, and grunge hehe

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones!

8. movies or tv shows?

movies,,

9. favorite smell in the summer?

you know that wet pavement smell after it rains? love that

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dodgeball hehehe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

nothin tbh. i don’t wake up early enough for it

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Writing Music! i made it hehehe

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

GUMMY BEARS AND JELLY BEANS

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“A Child Called ‘It’“ by Dave Pelzer

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cuddled up to someone in blankets,,, im lov anything with my s/o tbh

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

i have this beat up pair of blue slip ons that have bloodstains on em bc i got a nosebleed one day bwaeiugbaweugbaweubguaw

18. ideal weather?

post-raining, or like. just before it starts raining

19. sleeping position?

anything with my s/o or bein wrapped in like. a billion blankets

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

on my home pc in my room!

21. obsession from childhood?

dice and video games!

22. role model?

i know it’s gonna sound dumb but like. a lot of characters from media have influenced me a lot, like sans/komaeda etc. another one from my real life would be my aunt on my mom’s side!

23. strange habits?

i bounce my leg while listening to music or stressed,, that’s abt it. OH and i like twirling a small blanket around on my arm bc... acrobatics of sorts

24. favorite crystal?

amethyst, but anything clean cut and rounded looks rlly nice imo,,

25. first song you remember hearing?

the first day i remember in my life was christmas at my grandma’s when i was 4, so probably random christmas music ubwegebwgwebgoibgweg

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

sometimes when i get tired of sitting around at home i like to walk down to the dog park by my house! 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

cuddle,,,,,,,,,,, wrap up in a blanket with some freshly baked cookies n just. be there

28. five songs to describe you?

megalovania, medley rush 2 from the sonic rush ost, the promised neverland english op, metal crusher from undertale, metal scratchin’ from sonic rush

29. best way to bond with you?

just talk to me! im godawful at starting convos but i love talkin to ppl! 

30. places that you find sacred?

every person’s room feels that way, as well as obvious places, like churches n whatnot. we went n visited my aunt’s old house so my mom could pick up some stuff and being in her room after she died in 2015 was just like. an emotion i can’t rlly describe

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

hoodie, trackpants, n sneakers hehe

32. top five favorite vines?

back at it again @ krispy kreme, ADAM, they were roommates, two dudes in a hot tub, my croissant

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either “be there soon” or “ily” 

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none tbh. i don’t watch much tv so i don’t see ads often

35. average time you fall asleep?

either 10:30 or sometime after midnight. no in between 

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

it was a rage comic

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade, but i LOVE tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

LEMON CAKE....

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i was walkin in the halls with my friend and someone dropped a styrofoam cup of pasta on my friend’s head from the second floor awbegiuawbeguiawbguaewg

41. last person you texted?

the person who sent this ask heheheheh

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie!

44. favorite scent for soap?

anything really, but i like whatever my s/o uses bc it would remind me of them!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

underwear tbh. like. that and a tshirt or just underwear is the only way i can sleep

47. favorite type of cheese?

sensory issues say i have to hate all kinds of cheese outside of like. grilled cheese so let’s go with that/cheddar

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

dragonfruit! 

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

GOD pretty much every quote from monomi or chiaki in danganronpa 2, but mostly “if you learn to love yourself, that love will continue to carry you for your whole life! love, love...”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

OH HERES A FUCKIN STORY OK so i was at my friend’s house with a bunch of others bc we were doin a sleepover type thing and we were eating raising canes in his attic at like 3 am and some guy high on like. 3 different drugs at once got impaled through the leg on his fence. nobody saw him but we knew he was there and the cops were there in like 3 minutes. that very same friend has some of the most wack stories ngl

51. current stresses?

just doing well in school and making sure my s/o is happy!

52. favorite font?

comic sans.......................... im sorry

53. what is the current state of your hands?

my palms b sweaty but my fingers are dehydrated tbh. typin

54. what did you learn from your first job?

work.... difficult

55. favorite fairy tale?

probably the princess and the frog!

56. favorite tradition?

christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

probably my most noteworthy traumas tbh. gettin therapy for em, too

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

writing, my ability to overcome obstacles, being able to help ppl as well as i can, and making friends fast!

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Not dead yet.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Probably either shounen, romance, or moe,,,,

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“It’s a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... should be burning in hell.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

sans, komaeda, makoto naegi, komaru naegi, toko fukawa, chiaki nanami, and chihiro fujisaki!

63. five songs that would play in your club?

they’d all be fall out boy tbh. that and videogame osts

64. favorite website from your childhood?

armor games hehe

65. any permanent scars?

i don’t think so? at least, not yet

66. favorite flower(s)?

roses and anything blue!

67. good luck charms?

my dice sets!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

vanilla york peppermint patties... gross

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

pikmin in pikmin 1 who are underneath a bridge when it’s completed are killed because they get pushed through the ground

70. left or right handed?

right handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

probably the hellish bumpy pattern all teachers have all over their fuckin classrooms

72. worst subject?

math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

chicken nuggets in milkshake... good. or frankly just like. cooked chicken mixed with anythin cold like ice or ice cream

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like. 3 or 4

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i was eating a crunch bar and it fell out hehe

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

I WOULD DIE FOR FRENCH FRIES.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

any small blooming plant, like a single rose or flower!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

hrm. coffee from a gas station tbh

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

NEITHER LOOK GOOD LMAO and i don’t have a driver’s license. that’s just like. a prediction

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

lightning bugs!

82. pc or console?

either works but i spend more time on pc!

83. writing or drawing?

writing, but i like both!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio, but i love podcasts like TAZ or Critical Role! 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither? but probably barbie bc it’s more well known? idk

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes all the way b

87. your greatest fear?

me being the last person i know alive. i’d rather die than outlive everyone

88. your greatest wish?

i hope that no matter what there is after we die, i get to be with the people that are most important to me. 

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my s/o and family tbh

90. luckiest mistake?

buying danganronpa bweguowabguawebogbaweibg

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights!

93. nicknames?

i go by wes, dev, bines, anything rlly

94. favorite season?

spring!

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr hehe

96. desktop background?

it’s the ddlc cast! it’s a greyscaled image of four of the events cut together and their eyes glow hehe

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only one, and it’s my dads bc i have to call him every time i go to my grandparents’ hehe

98. favorite historical era?

probably the one we’re in now tbh, but like. also hate it

[elitemindshiphop-com]

Reposted from @rekshiphop @stlgld x @slainesworld x @rekshiphop Brought to you by @leedzedu Movie by @sandofilmsproductions (REKS MASSIVE VERSE): Rumble in the jungle Hannibal Barca The author with elixirs for the  listeners/ The opposite of cognitive dissonance/ Moe and me motions be poetry vocally/ that's harmony with harmonies insomnia these zombies be/ wide awoke to your anecdotes Don't dare poke the bear wrote/ murder Mr Christie don't compare notes/ Heru em akhet on the set sun glistening/ Deck not fully full that's a bully fool/ Dipping in the deep/ spit unique/ idiosyncratic speech/ here we go with that old heat/ 1880 radiators no hiatus on the beat/ Mentally you caught the vapors/ That's the Biz for the papers a mule and forty acres/ wake and bakers hit the trees I be in my yoga pose by the trees/ Using breeze as my respiration ease Buddha/ tribe Yoruba with a fully loaded ruger/ Brain computer hulla hooping your medulla/ Oblong (gata) face like the Omek race/ Go and trace lineages the images of soap box ministers/ serpent power not venomous/ Send tenements my sentiments Synonymous with imminence/ The ending is ill as the beginning is/ As above so below Rapid flow overload Had to slow it down Hey yo/ 3rd rail dialogue Spit vs Ramo/Spit vs Ramo #massive #reks #hiphop #rumbleinthejungle #thetown #slaine #stlgld #leedzedu #bostonhiphop #Boston https://www.instagram.com/p/CcqamnrJaoW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[solarbird]

talon sends a message

A local MS-13 cell made a very, very big mistake - they stole from a Talon research lab. Lena "Venom" Oxton and Amélie "Widowmaker" Lacroix go to retrieve the stolen goods, leave a message, and decide to bring along a lunatic with explosives just to make the point a little more emphatically. And also because it's fun.

This is the mission mentioned in Chapter 13 of Old Soldiers ("feeding the spiders"), and is canon in the on overcoming the fear of spiders continuity. But all you need to know really is that Lena and Amélie are both with Talon.

All dialogue in «chevron quotes» is translated from the Spanish. [AO3 link]

Venom laughed despite herself as the little truck with her bomb on it plowed into the garage and exploded, sending MS-13 enforcers flying for cover - at least two of whom were dead, and three of whom were on fire, which was, of course, absolutely hilarious.

"Steering's overrated!" she quipped in a terrible Australian accent, as she teleported after one straggler - finishing him with a single round of fire - and Amélie took the others before they even landed. That weird little Aussie's enthusiasm, she had to admit - it was contagious.

"Discipline, cherie," she heard in her comms, and snickered. Amélie's voice didn't entirely hide her own amusement, even if she did have a point. These guys may've been stupid enough to steal from Talon, but that didn't mean they couldn't be dangerous.

"Acknowledged," she said, in her best imitation of her spider's voice, before giggling. "No. No. Yes. Right. Discipline. You're right. These guys do have guns. Even if they don't seem t'be so good at using 'em."

Said weird little Aussie's voice joined in the mix. "You two sheilas always this much fun? IiiiiiiiiiiI love it! FIRE IN TH' HOLE!"

"Woah!" Venom had just enough time to jink away as one of Jameson's motorised tire explosives spun into the motor pool and detonated, briefly lifting the building up off its concrete-slab foundation. It stood just long enough for one survivor to come stumbling out the front door, before it fell, landing on said survivor with a flump, crushing him to death immediately.

"It's the little things..." said the explosives expert, and Venom giggled and giggled and giggled.

"Don't do that to the main building," came Widowmaker's voice, stern. "We have stolen material to recover."

"I know, mate - I'm a professional! That's why I did it here!" replied the Aussie, and she heard Venom laugh again.

Widowmaker shook her head from her vantage point in the trees above. Well, we needed to make a statement... "I see no signs of life. Are we all clear?"

"Think so, love," responded Venom, from the ground, snapping back to seriousness. "Nobody left but the bunker."

"Y'know," said the Aussie, "if whatever you're grabbin's not too fragile, I could toss one of those over their HQ, make an air burst. It's real disorientin'. They'll never know what hit 'em!"

That... thought the spider, ...is not a terrible idea.

-----

There they are, thought Venom, finding the last three guards hunkered down behind a metal desk. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, who'll be the last t'go? Oooh, they've got a turret!

"Got 'em," she subvocalised over comms. "End of my hallway. Three and a turret. Junks, back off, we need one of 'em alive."

"But I've got another rip-tire ready!" Jameson protested. "This one's a beaut! "

Venom glanced towards Widowmaker. "It would be hilarious..."

"No," said the senior assassin, flatly. "We can't risk collapsing the building. Jameson, stand down."

The junker made a little frustrated "nnargh!" sound over the comms, and Venom tried not to giggle - she could almost see him rolling his eyes and flumping down along the floor, instantly relaxed. The man could sleep anywhere, honestly.

"Jameson, if you like, you may blow up the building when we leave - but not before. Venom - I have them in my sight," said Widowmaker, as she brought tactical up, both for herself and in Venom's vizor. She snorted. "Too easy. I'll take the turret and disarm its operator. Venom, I'm sure you can handle the other two."

"Done and done," said Venom, and the two women leapt into action, Widowmaker silencing the turret and destroying its operator's right shoulder with a single round, Venom teleporting between the other two fighters and unloading one full clip from each pistol into each of their heads. Blood and viscera splattered everywhere as the last survivor dragged himself into the corner, panicked, trying, desperately, to grab his pistol with his left hand.

«Ah ah ah, none of that,» Venom said, smiling, pistol to his forehead. «You're our lucky winner! Don't be stupid, and you get to live.»

He dropped the pistol. Venom kicked it away, and backed off a bit. No reason to take chances. «Wh... wh... what do you want?» he said.

«Not much, luv - we just want our stuff back. That's all. Well, that, and a message delivered.» She looked back and grinned as Widowmaker walked menacingly down the hall and into view.

«What?» Already pale, he spotted the Talon insignia on Venom's collar, and went even paler.

«...don't you know who you stole from, luv?»

«Oh no.»

«Oh - yes. You stole from us. You seriously didn't know?»

«I swear, we didn't! None of us!»

«Fair enough. So, where's the stash?»

He shut his mouth and shook his head.

«Oh, do not be tiresome,» said the Widowmaker. «Let me guess - 'It's worth my life!'»

«It is! And my family's!»

«You don't think we know how MS-13 works, mate?» Venom fired a single round to the left of his head. «You don't got family close enough to care about, you took care of that - and we know it.»

«This is not a negotiation," Widowmaker said, gold eyes coldly fixed on the last survivor. «You tell us, immediately, and we bind your shoulder and leave you here, alive, to tell your compatriots what not to do in future. Otherwise, we will find it anyway...» - she looked around at the bloody mess everywhere - «...and I think our message is clear enough without you.»

«Bored now,» said Venom, raising her pistol to the man's forehead. «FIVE. FOUR. THREE. TWO.»

«BASEMENT! Hidden door.»

«Pathetic,» scoffed the senior assassin, as Venom smiled and flipped her pistol back away.

«C'mon, then!» The smaller assassin hoisted the man up off the floor, and he sucked in air, trying not to scream from the pain. «Let's get that shoulder stabilised, then we'll go get that door open together.»

«...together?» gasped the man, afraid.

«Aw, it's trapped? That's fine. You can disarm it for us!»

-----

"That," said Jameson, as he stepped down the gangway, "was a corker. You ever need anythin' else blown up, you just give me a call."

Widowmaker nodded politely, and handed Jameson the keycode to a small deposit box in La Barona. "I believe you will find everything to your satisfaction."

"Your reputation precedes you," said the Junker, and he handed Widowmaker a small gold token. "Courtesy of the queen 'erself!"

"An honour," the Talon assassin said, taking it into her hand and bowing, just a little, "Thank you."

Venom watched as the weird little Australian outbacker roared off on his motorbike. "Y'know... he reeks, but... I kinda like him."

"I think he is allergic to water," said her wife, stepping over to wash her hands, and the token she'd been handed, before removing her nose filters. "Certainly to soap. I can barely be in the same room. And not at all, with his partner."

"Hoo, got that right!" exclaimed Venom, as she set the flyer's air system on flush, before hopping over to hug her wife tightly. "Thanks, love. After all that Overwatch mess, and Morrison... this was exactly what I needed."

The elder assassin smiled, dried her hands, turned around, and held her lover tight before leaning back to kiss her gently on the nose. "Happy birthday."

[rubiaryutheroyal]

MGSV Story Study Sequel

@aireyverkhovensky submitted:

hey rubia are you feeling ambitious

(i’m kidding, i just want to know about the little comics and charts included, not the huge walls of text!)

Thank goodness. I sure wouldn’t want to have to explain the entirety of MGSV’s story here in one post. It’s an in-depth analysis of the story, characters, plot, etc., compiled into 73 pages, counting table of contents and preface.

As it goes without saying, spoilers abound. Also, a few mentions & pictures w/ adult themes, but nothing explicit.

Sorry that it took so long. I couldn’t find the time to finish up until now.

P1: Cover

P2: Intro & argument for why BB didn’t betray Kaz or Venom

P3: Table of Contents

P4

“The (Grossly Oversimplified) Character Relationships Chart 1”

Top box: main characters of this game

They all love BB and want to help him.

But M. Zero calls BB “his possession”, and BB: ((((;゜д゜)))) -> ( `;ω;´ )

So they all want Zero dead. (bottom right: only Venom is playable, so he doesn’t know that Zero is directly involved in the story)

And Zero wants them all dead. (bottom left: while another Snake is being made, Miller’s plan is to “get” Jack as he’s killing ’em)

left note: Code Talker is Zero’s henchie, and so was Huey until he got jossed.

P5 - 6: MC introductions

P7

“The (Still Somewhat Complicated) Character Relationships Chart 2”

top: TPP is about Venom tracing back to BB’s last mission. MGS3 ended with killing The Boss. Venom’s version of The Boss is Kaz.

Zero: “Crush them all”

BB, Ocelot –blue–> Kaz: has to keep this guy alive (hence why his limbs are cut & eye scarred, as per Zero’s objective…)

Venom –red–> Kaz: “Kill” // Zero’s final objective succeeds //

Skull –green–> Venom: Since Venom catches onto him, Skull has no choice but to kill him (he’s sad, since they’re supposed to be allies) -> Expecting Venom knew about the source of the vocal parasites, he had to kill him anyway… Once he learned the truth, all was good.

BB –gold–> clash: “Stop that”

BB – Venom: precious friend, lover

BB – Skull: from bottom of heart, want to be bros

BB, Ocelot –gold–> Skull: keeps him alive, get Zero’s whereabouts from him “I’ll leave it to you.” “John’s counting on me, I’ll do my best!!”

BB –green–> Kaz: doesn’t want to worry about the truth

BB –red–> Zero: trying to find where Zero is to kill him

bottom: “But Ocelot doesn’t do anything this time?” you’d think, but he may actually be moving behind the scenes.

P8 - 10: Facts & FAQs about Skullface

P11: Eli

P12: Sahelanthropus

P13: What Eli has to do with it

P14: The whole lotta digs on Kaz (following pages are numbered by these questions)

P15 - 20: 1. Venom

P16 - 20: Ties b/w Chico’s reports in GZ & TPP’s untold scenarios

P17, right: shojo manga depiction of angst comfort

P20 (on character relationships by distance):

Kaz: Hey! This isn’t some kind of ero corner! Why are we heading for this kind of horror? And the background’s all pink!

Venom: It’s fanservice.

P21: 2. Soldiers (minor chars)

(right) Boy who ends up getting gang-raped

(left) Woman who completely crushes all TNK attempts at rape

P22 - 24: 3. Boss

P22, top:

(right) Quiet: Snake ♥

BB: …

Ocelot: ?

Quiet: Not you!

(left) Kaz: Boss ♥

BB: !

Ocelot: …

P23: Paz’s reports on Kazuhira Miller - “His adoration of Big Boss is obvious”

top panel: cigar (right) [true adoration] lights his cigar for him (left) [adoration…] ignores his attempts at lighting it

mid panel: way of calling (right) [true adoration] “Boss (respectful)”, “I’ll be there for you!” (left) [adoration…?] “Boss (resentful)”, “Zadornov disappeared again. Go find him.” “And get me a hooker while you’re on it.”

bottom panel: how they’d show off their bods (imagined) (right) [true adoration] “…Alright… If you wish, I’ll happily show it to you!” ”May I rest in your room tonight…?” (left) [anything but adoration] “Aw, Boss! You’ve been waiting on me? Well, I guess we can’t help it!” *strips*

A/N at bottom right: ^ What Paz imagined was probably like this

Paz: It was a report from the beginning of Peace Walker…

P24, center: Three-way deadlock

[T/N: For the top & bottom, I’m not exactly sure what scenes the author is talking about. What’s “MSF”? And some episode where Kaz & Ocelot are arguing…?]

Kaz: strong to BB, weak to Ocelot

Ocelot: strong to Kaz, weak to BB

BB: strong to Ocelot, weak to Kaz

BB -> Kaz: says whatever

Kaz -> Ocelot: ‘fesses up

Ocelot -> BB: loyalty & adoration, “John’s the best”

P25: 4. Liquid

Meryl: Hey! Stop messing around! Ahaheehee! What, you call this torture!? This is just sexual harassment! *blah, blah, blah*

Ocelot, Liquid: (Shut up already…)

A/N, bottom: Captive female soldier, “Quiet”-type

P26: 5. Zero (imagined)

[Setting: Kazuhira Miller, age 12]

Zero: You may not know this, but it’s a Japanese school uniform.

Paz: (What the heck is this play…?)

[T/N: Namely, it’s a uniform for boys. The author goes on to explain the episode about Paz and Zero’s wiretap.]

P27 - 32: More FAQs about Zero

P27

Zero: Look, Jack~ It’s (my and) your kids!

BB: Waaaaaahh!!

A/N: So he filled up his entire bedroom with flowers to cleanse himself of the dream.

P29-30: Seeing BB x Kaz from BB’s & Zero’s relations

[T/N: I guess this is a scene that happens in-game, where BB tries to snap his neck, but decides against it?]

P33 - 34: comics

P33: “I thought a ‘sauna’ was like this”

Swan: Oh, while we’re using the soap, let’s add the vihta too. Okay, Armadillo, if you please.

*Now you can slap the subcommander on the ass*

Kaz: Whoa, wait a sec. It’ll make me seem like I’m in a S&M relationship…

Swan: Huh? Did I get it wrong?

Gazelle: But wouldn’t it be great to **** the boss?

Elephant: Right to the sexual harassment!

Puma: The boss is **** so wouldn’t **** **ing her be ********?

Dolphin, Cotton Mouse: *w*

Puma: Besides, ****… and then ** and *****…

Kaz: Stooop! This game is rated CERO C!

Armadillo: (Women are so rough…)

[Ending]

???: Clean the sauna for a year.

Kaz: Yes, sir…

Elephant, Puma: (He’s done for.)

Gazelle: (I guess he won’t.)

Swan: (Thank God I don’t have to clean the sauna! Lucky break!)

[Thinking about it, women on the battlefield wouldn’t be so weak.]

P34

Venom: When will I get to see Kaz’s smile…?

Kaz: *mmph*

Quiet: *push push*

Venom: What, Quiet? Huh? Those are…

Kaz: Ahahahaahahahahaaahaha!!!

[Electric tickling rods] * used by Ocelot

Kaz: *huff huff*

Venom: I didn’t mean by force… And he’s not used to it, so using those shock rods can be dangerous.

Quiet: Okay.

Kaz: Ahahahaahahahahaaahaha!!!

[Analog tickling rods] * used by Ocel…

Kaz: Damn it! Stop tickling my nipples!

Venom: Hehe. (Quiet’s making a calm face, but maybe she’s got a grudge…?)

[Boss smiled. Mission complete.]

Kaz: Hey, wait. Why are you ending this like it’s a happy ending? Hey!

P35-36: Quiet

P36: On Kaz & Catherine

(lower right)

Kaz: “That’s no way to treat your mother!”

??: “Ah, it’s fine.”

Kaz: “Dear!”

[Parents]

[T/N: below is a quick chart of their relations]

P37-46: More about Eli

P43

[End of chapter 1] * screenshot trace

Kaz: (I have the feeling it’s not over yet…)

P44

[Zero.]

Zero: (I’m watching you…)

P47-50: Review/Summary

“MGSV’s story is full of misleads and false info to trick the players, and this is the real S3 Plan (MGS2).”

[T/N: Welp, I wouldn’t have been tricked because I’ve been lost since the first page. :D ]

P49: “VR Boyfriend”

Genre: virtual reality boyfriend simulation Developer: Illusion

A/N: So MGSV:TPP has been from Zero’s point of view.

(just below) “Become Venom Snake and get real close with Miller!”

*insert facts about Kaz*

Zero: We can have a spiritual conversation!

Skull: Leave it to the Major to keep up with the latest tech. (This eroge nerd is hopeless. Use it properly already…)

VR Snake: >_<;

P51-64: references & homages made in-game

[T/N: There is way too much to cover here, so I think I’ll just skip over all the text and some comics. I’ll list the names of the sources, though.]

P53: Berserk

P54: Silent Hill 2, Blade of the Immortal

P55-56: Siren

P56

Kaz: Boss, Ocelot shot me in the face.

Ocelot: Don’t give them the wrong idea!

P57-64: Yakuza

P59: [T/N: Apparently in the JP version, when Venom puts on the Golden Armor, he starts talking in Kansai dialect.]

P60: [T/N: I feel like I’m missing a lot here, since I don’t know much about the Yakuza series, but it’s basically the characters from each swapped into the other game.]

P65: “No Way He Wouldn’t Finish Manga With That Moe Poster in DD’s Lounge”

Kaz: Hm? What, you like manga, Ocelot?

(books) “Weekly Shonen: Champion” “Japanese for Beginners”

Ocelot: I’m only reading them to better understand other countries’ culture. But, these ‘mangakas’ come up with some interesting ways to capture other people’s attention. (Hmph. This is for kids.)

By the way, did you find the next issue?

Kaz: Oh, the series I was reading ended, so I didn’t buy it.

Ocelot: What!? Don’t screw with me! Go get it already! NOW!! GET GOING!!!

Kaz: So you are addicted.

[20 years later, roleplaying]

Ocelot: L-Liquid! I beg of you!! My hand! My haaand… My right hand Liquid has been captured–! I wasn’t betraying the Patriots! It was Liquid’s fault!

Zero: What!?

Snake: Liquid!?

AI: Liquid!?

Wolf(?): What.

P66-70: More on Liquid & Ocelot, spanning MGS1, 2, 4

P71: Character relations across the games

P72: MGR: SOLIS & Kaz?

P73: Conclusion (feat. pun with Peacewalker, how Kaz ties into everything, and extras with Hideo Kojima)

And with that, I am officially done with this post. Not done like “I’ve covered everything I could”, but done like “My brain needs rest”. Thanks for your submission…

[lalka-laski]

What did u have 4 dinner last night?: Moe’s. That I ended up vomiting in the parking lot of my apartment as soon as we got home. FUN TIMES! 

Do u own a rolling pin?: Nope. I just use a bottle of wine anytime I’ve needed a rolling pin. 

What’s your ideal indoor temperature?: The colder, the better for me. Low 60s is my ideal, but Glenn claims he’s “freezing” so we settle for around 65 I think. 

Does your kitchen have a theme?: The color scheme of most of my linens and appliances is a cheerful yellow. But no, otherwise there’s no theme. 

Where did u buy your tennis shoes?: We call them sneakers. And I don’t really wear them. I think I have one pair of Nikes (?) that I use for working out but they don’t get much use clearly :P 

What cylinder is your vehicle?: I don’t have a car 

Are u a pack rat?: Not really. I’m a minimalist and I like to have as little belongings as possible. The only exception are sentimental things- usually handwritten cards and letters, and photographs. Those I always save. 

What’s the grossest thing u have found in your food?: Hair is always disgusting

Are u a flip flop lover?: Oh yes! Though my top choice is just to be barefoot. 

What namebrand dishwashing liquid do u use?: Dawn or Ajax I think 

Do u like ice cream sandwiches?: Actually, no. Unless it’s the cookiewich kind. I fuck with those.

Do u prefer hard or soft shell tacos?: Soft.

How do u like your popcorn?: Super salty & buttery! 

Last thing u bought at a grocery store?: I bought some diet ginger ale & deodorant from Target the other day

Fave show on Nick @ Nite?: I don’t watch it anymore (if it even still exists?) but as a kid I loved The Brady Bunch and I Love Lucy. And as an adult I always love me some Full House.

Ever worn a flower in your hair?: Mhm

Name 5 random things in your kitchen?: -A flamingo tape dispenser -A tupperware container of slime -Approximately one million empty wine bottles that I haven’t taken to recycling for some reason? -3 teeny-tiny loaf pans that I mistakenly ordered online thinking they were normal sized (I don’t know what you could possibly use them for, they’re SO small!) -A little plastic baby that I won from a king cake on Mardi-Gras. It’s good luck!

Name 4 things in your fridge?: -Diet ginger ale -Boxed wine -Leftover Chinese food -Vegetables that have since expired because we always forget to eat them

Name 3 things in your meds cabinet?: -A box of Disney Princess band-aids -Teeth-whitening strips -Various forms of heartburn/acid reflux meds

Name 6 things in your family room?: (I’m gonna use living room for the sake of this question since I don’t have a family room)

-An overflowing bookshelf, and dozens of other shelved books waiting for a home -Way more gaming systems & games than I ever wished to have in my home (thanks, Glenn <3) -A massive David Bowie portrait -Tons of throw pillows (I’m desperately trying to add pops of color) -An aloe plant (real) -A lavender bouquet (fake) 

Name 3 things in your bedroom?: -3 really cool pieces of artwork that have yet to be hung on the walls -The pink teddy bear Glenn got me for Valentine’s Day, appropriately named “Valentine” (pronounced Valen-teen) -Fairy lights

Name 3 things in your yard?: i don’t technically have one. But on the lawn/courtyard of my apartment complex there are trees, bushes and various plants

Name 2 things in your bathroom?: -Flamingo soap dish -Framed positive affirmation that reads “I hope you feel beautiful today”

Do u have a web cam?: On my chromebook, yeah.

What surgeries have u had?: I had my tonsils and seven teeth removed. Just not all at once :p 

What health problems do u have?: Acid reflux/GERD, anemia, and too many mental health problems to list. 

Do u have an IPOD?: Not anymore

Fave namebrand of water?: Poland Springs

Do u have a trampoline?: Nope 

Fave color of cottoncandy?: Pink & blue!

Last hot beverage u drank?: I’m drinking decaf coffee right now

Last cold drink u had?: Water

Ever been to Dollywood?: No but that sounds fun

Fave horror movie?: I can’t do horror movies anymore. I got enough nonsense going on in my head and I don’t need to add to it.

Fave chick flick?: Legally Blonde is my favorite movie of all time. But chick-flicks are my favorite genre so I could list dozens more

Do u like cilantro?: I might be one of those rare middle-of-the-road people. I know cilantro is a very polarizing subject but I don’t have a strong opinion on it. I don’t mind it, but I don’t love it. 

Fave Bath & Body Works scent(s)?: For body products I live for Lavender & Cedarwood, Eucalyptus Tea and Honolulu Sun (coconut). And for candle scents OH LORD so many... Champagne Toast, Rose Water & Ivy, Hibiscus Waterfall, Eucalyptus Rain, Crisp Morning Air, White Winter Woods, French Lavender, Bergamot Waters, Winter Sage, the list goes on. 

Do u like to sleep in?: It’s my dream come true 

Describe your cosmetic bag.: I have several. But my favorite is pink with a pop-art portrait of Princess Aurora. It’s so me!

[nedflames]

My thoughts on "Random" humor (motivated by Danny's last video, of course)

In college, I learned about this theory of humor called "benign violation" which explains that a joke needs to surprise the audience (violation) but it also needs to stay within certain boundaries so it doesn't go over heads or anger an audience (benign). There needs to be a balance.

There is also a theory of "tension and release". Jokes need build up (tension) and then they need a punchline that sparks shock and laughter (release). That's why comedy is so close to horror (tension of fear that sometimes stays or can be released by shock, conclusion, or laughter). I'm gonna make this sexual, because why not, but it's also why comedy is similar to an orgasm; there needs to be a peak of tension that gets rewarded with catharsis (what the French call "La Petite Mort" aka "The Small Death"). The act of laughter, not always spurred by a joke becuase laughter can also come from fear or stress, is the body's way of releasing tension. There can be no release WITHOUT tension.

(I really wanna carry on about how comedy and horror can use this tension and release to combat cognitive dissonance in an audience. Like, they provide comfortable space for being uncomfortable and that's a powerful way to communicate certain social/poltical ideas both for the good or the bad. Comedy and horror, like rhetoric, are AMORAL tools of communication/art and can be used to dismantle social/poltical dogmas OR support them. This is one of the many reasons why I wish people would respect comedy and horror as art forms because as soon as we value them enough to analyze them we can use them for good and understand how they ARE used for bad. I just had to say all of this irrelevant stuff. I HAD to.)

Guava's problem is that he thinks he's reaching for the violation side of the "benign violation" spectrum but in reality he's abused it so much that the violation has become benign. That's how "random XD" humor works. Another problem with that brand of humor is when someone thinks they're being funny because their punchlines are "shocking" but when punchlines are too inaccessible and weak they're just too benign. There is no build up of tension so there can be no release.

Good random humor should be used sparingly or else it loses it's violating/shocking nature. And good random humor needs to be accessible to an audience.

(Here's where I should've ended the rant but keep reading if you want to see this spiral into some philosophical/ethical stuff)

Of course this all hinges on one thing I've been mentioning a lot: audience. Humor, like all art forms, is subjective. What is benignly violating to one audience can be too violating or too benign to another audience. Guava's audience is very young and...well, stupid. Young and stupid enough that they can't grasp comedic concepts past "I just said the word CHEESE loudly aren't I a silly goose??". So, they may find his content funny because they don't have the critical thinking skills or cognitive powers to want anything more challenging from their entertainment. It's all mindless nonsense.

Which is...bad imo because children should be exposed to content that DOES challenge them in some way (hell, EVERYONE should be exposed to content that makes their brain interact with it). Am I saying we shouldn't enjoy some mindless content every now and then? Absolutely not. But I think if that kind of content is all that a kid watches then that's fucking damaging to their cognitive and critical thinking skills.

Hate to get all Frankfurtian here, but anti-intellectualism is rampant in the U.S. and that's PARTIALLY because we're too comfortable consuming mindless art, we don't value art, and we don't interact with art in meaningful ways. If we aren't thinking critically about art, if we aren't interacting with it, that makes us so much more susceptible to negative propaganda (propaganda is also amoral, guys). It numbs our brains, turning them to on/off switches instead of the mechanical wonders they should be. We cannot let this keep happening. We can't let children have their brains get destoryed by mind-numbing media.

While the Frankfurts were hella classist with their views on high vs low art, they had some good fucking points! (Look at the state of the U.S. after we voted for a fucking celebrity who relied on ignorance to get where he got.)

Kids should not be consuming mindless content! (At least mindless content should not be in their main diet! It should be equal to like...a snack every once and a while.)

Wow, I did not expect this rant to go in this direction but here we are. It started off as a rant about comedy and turned into a rant about the moral issues behind mindless children's content. It got REAL soap-boxy up in here. Oh well!

[ifkinghatefacebookyyyyy-blog]

Why I hate Facebook....

Because of how it tears families apart! and brings strangers closer togther!!!

My mom is obsessed with Facebook. She calls someone who she has never met her sister... Like WTF is tat??? and being on social media with her head phones on blast has made her deaf in one ear and with vertigo. So not only do I work to pay bills, I gotta cook clean and take care of my new born s because she get too dizzy. I can tell Facebook head quarters is hacking my blog because its lagging and of course they track everything on the internet in real time that has the words Facebook in it.... Or maybe its the FBI..... and......

Anyways, based on the Facebook movie, Facebook was built not by Mark Zuckerberg, but stolen by him and hes the richest millennial alive?!?! By G-d, why can’t I just become a heartless fuck and plaigerise some old art work or art wor from other people, publish it and become famous and have a movie made out of it years later???

I never really wanted a Facebook.... I knew it was tracking my every move just by teh t because they asked me for my rel first and last name when siging up. Myspace said I didnt have to do that..... I only did it to stay in contact with my best frined Nikki because hse moved on from MySpeace early, and yeh..... Thats why.

To me Facebook was liek my soap box. Not only did I talk about conspiracy theories, I kept adding more and moe fi friends, till i had to delete some. I was very proud of myself for adding only people I actually met in real life. Then I started adding poeple from my neighborhood and shit just gets worse. I cant say what I really want to say because these people dont really know me. They only know what they see when i walk by. ANd now they are in my “life“. My Facebook is real personal. And yet, I have been using it the worng way.

When I vent I tend to scrae people becuasue of my wicked split personality I tend to put out there. and I have a lot of family watching me out there. My frineds I dont care. Its my family I am worried about. They must really acre about me , and even though we live far apart and rarely talk.... but they must be scared for me. I worry about that sometimes but because they never really comment I dont think about it often. And there thhe void of who is really reading and watcing and why I cant put certain things on social media because it never comes true!

So not only does Facebook control the planet and maybe universe.... but some people take Facebook way too sriously. Like its a game of life.... and I am too much of a realist to bog myself down to Facebook being my sole source for getting my voice heard. Or my only purpose in life is to mkae other people think I hve the perfect life, when I don;t. I stresses me to know I have frines who go trough so much n and mkae it worse by putting in social media for the world to laugh at.

A litle about me. I am a new mom. My son is 1 year and 5 monhs . Not that new, but im still a new mother everyay. Just older..... What ever. I love to write. I love education. Formal education where I can sit with he teacher and i grasp the lecture better, but I am still a successful online student. I have done it before. I can do it again. I want to be rich, and wwealt hy, but I doubt that may happen with hard work because I am just too lazy andnever finish what I start Lik t  Like the plans I have for this blog.

I plan on talking about my beliefs and my mind. What I learn when I am on this spiritual quest  because certain things just dont kake snese to me, an I need to figure this shit out...... Well, Thats it! Hope you like my first blog on why I hat Facebook, and please ry to undertsand the typos. My computer is way lagging and I type real fast. I tried the best I can. I bet you can figure it out.

OODBYE!!!

[nedflames]

You know, I'm not super in to Danny's stream content. I really find his chat annoying as hell and it's hard to watch one of his streams and ignore them because he KEEPS THEIR COMMENTS ON SCREEN. Also, he just doesn't have a lot going on like the other streamers I watch but I'm sure, with time, he'll have a smoother interface that fits his personality better.

That being said, I love when he's streaming with his friends because they're all very good at improv and building bits into stories, silly lore, and callbacks. When Danny is streaming alone there's almost a nervousness? to his comedy? I dunno I can't really define it but it feels a little forced.

And why are fans so fucking mean to him? I hate fandoms who think they constantly have to be roasting and trolling creators. TMG's fandom and Watcher have similar issues. I don't mind a well placed roast, but god it's like watching a bunch of children trying to be the biggest-dicked bully on the playground. HIS CHAT IS SO OBNOXIOUS. And this isn't the case with every chat because Julien and Chris have great chats filled with people interacting with EACH OTHER and not constantly vying for the streamer's attention with unoriginal "jokes".

On a tangential note, fandom involvement is one of the worst things about internet culture. I just dont think fans should have a say in the creative decisions. Like, so much media is destroyed by fan pandering. Look at season 4 of Community! It's filled to the brim with fan pandering and it HAS NO GOD DAMM SOUL! Children slamming their fists on tables and demanding their way should not motivate the creativity of others. Creators should listen to GOOD ideas, not popular ideas.

[nedflames]

I gotta say I really disagree with some of Danny's interpretations of Bo's music in that second channel vid, ESPECIALLY his interpretation of "White Woman Instagram". Like, I don't get how someone who is so familiar with Bo's work would think the song is JUST making fun of white women on instagram because I agree that that is low hanging fruit but he really missed the point of that song. I guess Bo could have been more clear but I also guess the only people that really get it are going to be well...women---or, at least, women-adjacent people (like me) who understand what it is like to be a woman on the internet---because it's a song written for and about us. It's incredibly sympathetic, especially compared to his actual satirical work, and I guess I'm just surprised (and a little angry) that that message just flew over so many people's heads.

[nedflames]

Tumblr mobile fucking ate my post about this and now I'm even MORE PISSED

Circus is a fun, catchy song and all but I am furious that some people in the comments are saying it matches Danny's writing style. His vocal performance matches and THAT was what gave it away, but those lyrics are NOTHING compared to his actual lyrics.

Like, ya gotta be fucking kidding me with this patronizing, smug, bullshit I am seeing with some of these comments. A couple of forced qUiRky lines about crocs, clowns, and hos and bitches be acting like it's a Danny Gonzalez classic. The fuck? The only song that is remotely comparable in terms of lyrical talent is Spooky Ho (which, while still enjoyable, is one of Danny's worst written songs sorry not sorry @ me I do not care).

Circus is empty and mindless fun! It's catchy and that's all it has going for it! It is not a Danny song!!

Danny's usual lyrics have depth and wit and nuances and double entendres and satire and personality! Danny's music weaves pictures! DANNY'S MUSIC IS CREATIVE AND IT IS ART. CIRCUS WAS ONLY MADE TO BE COMMIDIFIED SIMPLE TREND.

Jesus, this is like people comparing a fluffy fan fic pumped full of every popular trope to an original work with a nuanced and complex plot/characters.

You know who is even more of an authority on Danny's writing style than me (a person who listens to all of his music constantly and has English majored the fuck out of "Bag Tho")? DANNY FUCKING GONZALEZ.

Sorry you fucks in the comments trying to correct Danny about HIS OWN MUSIC STYLE, but in this case he does know best. He didn't even feel okay with the song until he created someone else for it to belong to! Thats how much he KNEW it wasn't his style! If this were a matter of legitment criticism instead of a dumbass attempt to act superior and smug my anger wouldn't be so strong right now. But the fucking waaaay these people just act like they KNOW more about Danny's writing style than he does just SENDS ME.

And it's SO TELLING TOO. It tells me that they think Danny's comedy music is just about stringing quirky, relatable, empty lyrics over a decent beat with a good vocal performance when his comedy music is SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. AAAAARRRRGGGG.

I'm sorry Danny. I'm sorry that this is what these people think you do when you write your songs. I'm sorry these people think comedy is just that empty, pandering, and soulless. It's really not fair.