#modern au bio
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formosusiniquis · 1 year ago
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any cosmo girl would have known
“Oh she did it for sure.”
“Steve!”
“Ten bucks, Bobert, don't give me that look last time we agreed double or nothing.”
“No,” Nancy insists. “This isn't Murder, She Wrote or Scooby-Doo or Columbo-”
“You saw who did it in Columbo at the beginning,” Eddie reminds.
“I know it's an awful show.”
Robin and Steve remain in sync enough to each get a hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting on the coffee table to defend the only good cop show in existence.
“I'm only pointing out,” she rewinds the VHS taking it back the two or three minutes they'd talked over before stopping it completely, “that this is a movie, not a drama with a repeated format that Steve can pattern recognition into predicting.”
“You haven't seen it already, right?” Robin asks. “The one rule of Monthly Middle-Aged Movie Night is you have to pick a movie none of us have seen.”
“No, I haven't seen it already. If you'll all remember when I asked you each to go see it with me I got,” he points to each of them in turn. “‘Wouldn't you rather see Tomb Raider?’ from double VHS, prestige cinephile and ‘That's too much pink for me, baby, you know I have that intolerance, maybe Rob or Nance will go?’ from my emo-isn’t-a-phase husband. And ‘I'm a little busy with this new story, Steve,’ from Nancy, the only one of you with a real excuse.”
“Some feminist you are, Birdie.”
“I don't want to hear it from you. I watched two of the blandest men alive pursue Renee Zellweger while the screen writers tried to convince us she was homely because you ‘forgot’ you had band practice.”
“You said you liked it!”
“It grew on me, but sometimes you just want to see a woman in a tank top. And I won't be shamed by the same man who cried during Beauty and the Beast.”
“I went with my sweet baby Lucy Joan, you miserable hag,” Eddie says, “and they turned that hot werewolf into a boring looking man.”
“You weren't into that? Look at who-”
“Why am I getting made fun of? Can we finish the movie?”
“No, I'm not going to let this be another Sixth Sense situation,” Nancy says, holding the remote hostage, she knows no one will try to take it from her.
“Ugh don't even bring that up,” Eddie groans, “Dustin still mentions it in at least one letter a year.”
Nancy nods, prim and proper, “Exactly, so tell us right now why you think she did it, then we'll play it again.”
“Chutney, the daughter,” Steve corrects, “have you even been paying attention? Her hair's permed.”
“And press play,” Eddie shouts.
“No,” Robin smacks his hands as he makes his ballsy play to reach around her for the remote. “Show your work, Dingus, even I didn't follow that one.”
“I don't always like the movies everyone else picks but I at least watch them. Her hair is permed, she said she was in the shower. She would have had to have been washing her hair if she didn't hear the gunshot and she has a perm.”
“You can wash your hair with a perm,” Nancy points out.
“You would know.” Eddie snarks, fingering the ends of his own hair.
“You can't wash a fresh perm, you'll fuck up the ammonium thioglycolate. Then you're out forty bucks and you've got limp hair. She killed her dad and lied about being in the shower.”
“Press play,” Eddie decrees again, leaning in close to Steve's side to purr, “it's pretty sexy when you go all hair care detective.”
His hand starts to slip below the blanket. “This is how we ended up with Lucy in the first place,” Steve reminds him, just under the sounds of the courtroom drama picking back up. It doesn’t stop Eddie’s hand from wandering until the movie’s climax starts getting closer, and Eddie’s attention is captured just like Robin’s and Nancy’s.
“Unbelievable,” Robin says, when Elle cites the perm salt.
“Never again,” Nancy swears, when Chutney screams her confession.
“Lucy’s been asking for a brother or sister,” Eddie flirts, as Elle reveals that any good Cosmo girl could have solved it.
No more movies with mysteries or twist endings for a while, they all agree, Robin can’t afford to keep betting against Steve.
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akuma-tenshi · 7 months ago
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back on my bullshit
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~interaction loosely based on a real event between my cousins and their mom~
Kiri, from the couch next to Jake: If you don't hand over the popcorn, I'm telling Dad.
Lo'ak, standing up and withholding popcorn: HA, jokes on you, I'm not afraid of Dad.
Jake: Ow.
Kiri, snuggling into Jake: It's okay Dad, I'm afraid of you.
Jake: Wow, thanks, babygirl.
Lo’ak, watching them: .... scooch over, I wanna cuddle with my dad.
Kiri: NO, I'm cuddling my dad! Get your own dad!
Neteyam, from the other couch: That whole conversation gave me whiplash.
Spider, next to him: I actually think I'm having a stroke.
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raykat · 3 months ago
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unloading some old annas and angels
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chaos-has-theories · 7 months ago
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Hunith leaned on her rake and watched as the car swerved into the driveway. It had barely come to a halt when the passenger door opened and Gwen climbed out. She looked tense. She was also drenched from head to toe. The hem of her jeans sagged, the rest of it looked damp and clammy. Her shirt must have dried during the drive home, but it had bits of seaweed stuck to it. Her hair was eighty percent frizz. When she saw Hunith at the fence, Gwen smiled unconvincingly, and sped towards her house just slow enough that it couldn’t be called a run. The driver’s door slammed loudly and Arthur came stomping around the car. He looked no better than Gwen: If anything, he was wetter than she had been. He didn’t even grab anything from the trunk, much less wait until he could lock the car. He just marched into the house and slammed that door behind him, too. Just as Hunith thought that scene couldn’t get any stranger, the back door opened and her son climbed out. The greeting died on her lips before it could escape. Merlin looked like a storm warning. Hunched shoulders, pursed lips, flashing eyes - oh, and he was wearing a dress. Not even a good dress. It was an oversized grey monstrosity and looked like it came from the garbage bin of a secondhand store. It was definitely not one of Hunith’s. Merlin had bunched it up at the hips in at attempt not to stumble over the long skirts, and he stomped past her and into the house with no sign that he had seen his mother at all. She could hear him all the way up the stairs, and then the slam of his bedroom door. Alright then. All the noise must have roused Gaius from his afternoon nap. He stuck his head out the door, looking exactly as bewildered as Hunith felt. „Was that Merlin?“, he asked. Hunith nodded. “And... a wig?” Another nod. „Hm.“ With a final puzzled look up the stairs, Gaius retreated to his study. Hunith turned back just in time to see Mordred clambering out like the smallest clown in the clown car. He was dry and dressed normally, but he was wearing an expression of utter defeat. With his towel held in front of him like a terrycloth shield he walked towards Hunith as if he’d much rather write a difficult math test. He dithered at the gate for a moment, and then met Hunith’s gaze only to sigh the world-weariest sigh she had ever heard. (Which was saying something. Hunith had lived with Gaius for most of her life, and would have previously named him world champion of sighing. Somehow this was still the most normal thing that had happened in the past ten minutes.) „My dads will pick me up in a few minutes“, Mordred told her morosely. „Can I wait here?“ „Of course“ Hunith hurried to say. „Do you want something to drink? Bal made cookies, if you want any. They’re in the kitchen.“ Mordred gave the door Merlin had stormed through a long, dubious look. „I think I’d rather wait out here.“ „Alright.“ Hunith watched as he settled himself on the doorstep, towel in his lap. With a deliberately casual air she picked up the shovel and continued weeding. „I probably don’t even want to know“ she said conversationally, „but what exactly happened at the lake?“ The child behind her made a noise like an upset mouse. „I don’t know“, he whined. „Merlin doesn’t tell me anything.“ Hunith looked over her shoulder to see Mordred scuff at the earth with his shoes, a frustrated expression on his face. „But I had to help Merlin put on a costume and Gwen and Arthur fell into the water and they both cried and everyone shouted and I think they broke up.“ „I see“, Hunith said faintly. That would fit with what she’d seen, but - she’d thought Gwen had broken up with Arthur a week ago? And anyway, none of this explained the costume, or really anything, but she’d decided to ignore that for now. „I’m sorry that happened. It sounds uncomfortable.“ „I’m sorry it happened too.“
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bluegekk0 · 1 year ago
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⇾ PINNED POST ⇽
Hi! You can call me Gekko. I make art, primarily for my Hollow Knight AU, named Feral PK AU, but you'll also find occasional dragon/dinosaur art or maybe even fanart from other media. I also reblog posts from various other things, so it can get a bit chaotic.
That being said, the AU is the main focus of this blog. It is a slice of life AU for my favorite characters which mostly takes place in Dirtmouth, though over time it also evolved into a personal worldbuilding and character driven project.
Just a heads up, it does stray quite a bit from the canon and many popular fanon interpretations, so please approach with an open mind! If you have any questions, check the FAQ below first and don't be afraid to send me asks about it!
»»———-   ———-««
Other places to find me:
» twitter // 🔞
» bluesky
» ko-fi
Art tag: #gekko.art
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╚══AU LORE PAGE (WIP)══╝
╚══AU SHORT SUMMARY══╝
AU RELATED TAGS:
#feral pk au - the main AU tag, contains all related art, posts and ask responses
#modern fpk au - tag for the modern spin-off of the AU; same as above
#dragon fpk au - tag for the dragon spin-off of the AU
#au designs - tag for all the AU character design sheets and other related posts
#au character bios - similarly to above, this tag includes written down descriptions for the AU characters
#au worldbuilding - tag for all posts/ask responses related to the general AU worldbuilding headcanons
#au character posts - for separate text posts about the AU characters
#save - this is how I tag AU related posts which I find to be worth reading for a better understanding of the characters, or anything else I want to easily access in the future
#ask stuff - tag for all ask responses. If you only want those related to the AU, I recommend browsing through the main AU tag instead
#art guide - tag for any art tips and guides that I posted
CHARACTER TAGS: #vyrm / #fpk ● #grimm / #nkg ● #lewk ● #asta ● #milo ● #hornet ● #holly ● #zote ● #white lady ● #brumm ● #divine ● #bretta ● #lurien ● #ogrim ● #cornifer ● #iselda ● #elderbug ● #jiji ● #jinn ● #mato ● #quirrel ● #lemm ● #tiso ● #radiance
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(disclaimers about the blog and the AU below)
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DISCLAIMERS:
» Please do not reupload my art anywhere. I'm okay with people using it as their icons/banners, but please remember to credit me.
» Since this is a primarily AU related blog, anything I say about the characters is from a headcanon lens. A lot of my headcanons are quite different from the most popular fanon interpretations, so please be aware of that before you respond, especially in regards to fandom jokes and character hate.
» A large chunk of my drawings and posts features the ship Pale Nightmare, so if you dislike it I would not recommend following my blog. It's the only ship I'm invested in, and while I avoid ship discourse, there are some that I find uncomfortable, particularly those between the characters that I consider family within the AU (Grimm/Hornet and Grimm/Hollow being the primary ones).
» Although I might occasionally touch upon topics that are in the suggestive or sexual territory in regards to some characters, this blog is otherwise still meant to be SFW. I will not be posting any explicit artwork, and I try to keep the suggestive topics tasteful. If you are interested in my NSFW art, do not ask me about it here, instead head over to my Twitter private alt. I try my best to keep the two places separate.
» Additionally, some of my art includes blood and very mild gore, though I try to tag it whenever there's excessive amounts of it in the artwork (I use the tags #blood and #gore). There may also be very occasional mentions/depictions of pregnancy, please block the tags #pregnancy (for art) and #pregnancy mention (for text posts) if you would prefer not to see it/read about it. Please let me know if there are any other things that you would like me to tag!
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AU RELATED DISCLAIMERS/FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
» The AU takes place after the Embrace the Void ending, and so The Knight/Ghost is not present. Here is a post detailing what happened to them (and the other shade siblings in the Abyss).
» Feral PK's name in the AU is Vyrm (an alternate spelling of Wyrm that he uses as his name), though I occasionally refer to him as FPK. Also, I headcanon him as gay (demi-gay to be more precise). At the current point in the AU he and The White Lady are separated.
» As you probably noticed, most of my designs stray very far from insect-like interpretations. That is very much intentional. In the AU, I see "bug" as a general term for "people", not an implication that they are all insects. While some characters do have more insect-like anatomy, there are others which possess reptilian, mammalian or even plant-like traits. I go a little more in detail on how I see that term in this post. So while I'm not bothered by people referring to for example, Grimm or Vyrm as insects, keep in mind that this is not how I personally view them.
» Additionally, I see the characters as much larger than real life insects. As a reference point, Vyrm is similar in height to a raccoon standing on two legs. For this reason, most of the characters have skeletal structures to support larger body mass. There are some exceptions, notably characters such as Unn.
» Please keep in mind that the AU originated as something I found comfort in, and it remains that way. There may be inconsistencies, I might retcon things on the go, and some things may simply not be well written. I also have no plans to turn it into a fanfic or a comic.
» I'm always open to answer questions about the AU and the characters! So if you have any, please don't be afraid to send me an ask, I absolutely love responding to them. 💖
» I am currently working on a WorldAnvil page for a more detailed, wiki-like AU info, link at the top of the post!
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futurealchemy · 5 months ago
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modern au odysseus except he has the worst internet safety known to man bc he canonly doxxed himself in front of a cyclops anyway
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pizzapasta23045 · 2 years ago
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Kaeya (one random day, pulling up to the office in an expensive ass fur coat from *insert luxury brand here* that he'd shown jean a couple days prior):
Jean: Oh my gosh! What did you do? Diluc will be so pissed! Didn't you say this was like 5k?
Kaeya: My, why would Diluc be pissed? I haven't even touched our trust fund [from Crepus].
Jean: What? Did you spend a whole month of your salary on a jacket?
Kaeya: Nah, my old man kicked the bucket. Used the inheritance.
Jean: Ah... Well, I do understand that you don't like him but... Was it worth wasting most your inheritance? Especially since you don't use the trust fund.
Kaeya: Oh no I have like a bunch left. My bio family's, like, crazy rich.
Jean: You... You actually never mentioned that. Like how rich are we talking about?
Kaeya: Oh, more than double the Ragvindrs. They're an old military family, plus they were, like, regents of Khaneri'ah for a while.
Jean: Oh....
Jean: wait they were WHAT?
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aphemera · 3 months ago
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modern day asoiaf au where jon gets scammed into joining my school’s aviation academy that barely anyone takes and is located at the sketchy dark hallway at the back of the school thats guarded by doors for some reason
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cru5h-cascades · 7 months ago
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Mini character bios for a possible Mat3 modern au (since I already made some modernized character designs for the main 5). Don't really have an idea for the au's plot as of writing this, but I'll figure something out soon. Also these bios might be subject to change btw some of this stuff isn't final.
Maya
Ended up in a super rough fight that ended up with her left arm having to be amputated
Likes playing field hockey & doing martial arts (uses hockey stick while fighting sometimes; she'll make modifications to her hockey stick if in a real bad fight)
Overall, she's a bit of a tomboy
Comes from a rich family
Found Zatz to be kinda creepy in her first few encounters with him but eventually warmed up to him
Rico
Artist (specifically likes painting)
Typically uses spray paint while fighting (basically acts as support for his friends by making enemies more volnerable via spraying paint on them)
Does gaming on the side (typically plays games that allows him to be a bit creative with stuff like Animal Crossing and Minecraft but also enjoys Jet Set Radio & Splatoon mainly because those games have a focus on art in some way)
Chimi
Part of her school's archery team (she's one of the best archers on said team) (weapon of choice is pretty obvious)
Social outcast (only friends are the prothecy crew)
Lives with Rico at his place (Chimi was homeless prior to meeting the prothecy crew)
Although pretty brutish, it doesn't mean she's unwilling to get girly (Chimi loves doing Maya's makeup when she gets the chance to do it)
Pichu
Part of his school's football team but doesn't really like hanging out with the rest of the team members
Has trauma from an abusive relationship (parallel to what happened during the village raid from the OG show)
Acts all tough when with the football team but is super caring for his friends
Is more of a hand-to-hand fighter because of his sheer size & the fact that he's had to tackle countless other teams while playing football
Zatz
Aspiring musician (plays guitar)
Is on his school's fencing team (weapon of choice is pretty obvious)
Sort of a social outcast but people aren't willing to admit bro's pretty hot
Huge simp for Maya (eventually goes on to live with her after his dad gets killed)
Listens to MCR, The Killers, and Radiohead
Bullying incident ended up causing Zatz to lose his right eye
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coycorry · 1 year ago
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My favourite Lucky Strike ambassador
I’m 100% positive that in modern au Deidara could’ve smoke A LOT, and irritate Sasori, who’s at his 30’s trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle here!!! (after he actually fucked it all at his 20’s by being way TOO MUCH EXTRA, and let’s just all admit that Sasori at Dei’s age was ten times worse. I always found funny the fact that Orochimaru had SO MUCH patience with Sasuke who was… Sasuke, and that’s all after being Sasori’s partner)
Also I definitely gonna get his “simp” t-shirt I mean that’s brilliant.
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drowmoment · 6 months ago
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Finally made a Tav meetup image to match my Durge one, also after finally resolving my lag issues i could play a little farther into my Misfortune save (one day i will finish Act 3. It's just so much) which led to us finally being able to break Wyll's pact (yay!) but it also illustrated just how much Mizora gets bullied on her save. I imagine she absolutely loathes appearing in camp because of it.
I also finally get to introduce you to Baphomet! My third Dark Urge whom you might have seen before as a cameo in my Durge meetup art. For the longest time i barely had any art of her, but i've caught the bug i'm afraid so even if it's not a lot it's still enough for an introduction! (And more is certainly on the way)
(Can you tell i have a lot of difficulty drawing her? Because i do.)
Baphomet is a Way of the Four Elements (Fire spells only) Monk good Durge who is, on the surface, the most normal one out of the three. She was raised in a Lathandarian monastery as a star novice, the balance she was taught was what kept the Urges at bay for an unusually long time. This, however, was a double edged sword as when she finally snapped as a full-fledged Monk she was ten times more dangerous. Her killing of a Dawnmaster and several other novices led to her being banished from the monastery, and that's when she set off for the Temple of Bhaal. Yadda yadda main story stuff happens.
As a person Baphy is very stoic, being even less expressive than Tav; she's quiet and generally regarded as almost unreadable by her companions and instead lets her good actions speak for her. Internally there are a lot of things going on in her head though, most of them being her trying to grapple with The Urge. She's a very considerate person and tries to pass fair judgement to everyone, though can be lenient on those that show her kindness. She may not be good with words but she will do all in her power to support you.
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billybabyy · 7 months ago
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modern au!frat boy!billy hargrove x modern au!sunny miller (oc)
“i can't give you up yet 'cause your kisses taste like american spirit.”
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katimanki · 1 year ago
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An AU where they grew up as upper class rich kids going to fancy charity events and banquets every weekend.
Mike hates them and is dragged to them against his will, but at least Max is also forced to attend with her family, so they don't have to suffer at these stuck up formal parties alone. The Byers-Hoppers are new in town and are attending their first charity event as members of the rich people community of Hawkins and Mike has a bi panic moment when he spots the family's twins in the crowd. (at first his silly ass almost mistakes them for a couple until Max corrects him)
The Wonder Twins(as Max calls them) seem like an intimidating pair, they are in their element at the fancy events, and Mike is very much not. But when he catches the twins pulling pranks on the sidelines of the events, he gets the courage to try and befriend them.
(this had a companion piece of Mike and Max, but anything I made would just not look even close to what the sketch did, so I just put the sketch under the cut)
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roseofdarkness0 · 2 years ago
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Soap: exists
Fandom: Hmm yes, perfect
Soap: ?
Fandom: dumps 4 masked dudes on top of soap
Soap: !
Fandom: Here you go boyfriends <3
This is call out post for me specifically but also just at this point Soap is going to get all the masked boyfriends and I for one am not complaining
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thecraftgremlin · 2 years ago
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I’m a simple man, I see a Pyrrha Raises Gideon AU and I fucking cry at this daughterless mother and motherless daughter getting to love each other.
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