#mod note: failed step one

[miscretis]

Discord Mod!Ronin x Discord Kitten!Reader (G.n) [PART 2 OF A CRACK FIC TAKEN SERIOUSLY]

WRITER'S NOTE:

Here's the awaited part two of a crackfic taken seriously! I hope you guys enjoy!!

CW:

- Mentions of Murder

- Cringe

“Breaking news: 3 new dead bodies were found at the Purgatory, an alleyway that the known Serial Killer, The Butcher, roams in. The government has sent out a notice for all citizens to go home safely with another friend.”

Clickety clack

You spiral down the world of words through the immersive writing of your serial killer novel. However that concentration was then interrupted by a ‘ding’. You stared down at the notification from goreboy.

This is my chance. My time to shine.

I swiftly slid into his DMs.

<goreboy> rise and Shine darlin’, How's The Server?

<User> morning to you too, the server was really something to get used to (TvT)

My hands quickly retracted away from the keyboard after sending that text. I felt elation welling inside of me, soon exploding out with a big laughter.

I can't believe it, I did it!

<goreboy> that seems Good, Hope to See More Outta Ya

<goreboy> so don't Disappoint me

Oh, he seems to not care about the typing style, I need to step it up to a level.

Maybe I need my profile to be more ‘discord kitten’

At this time and moment, I'm already mentally rolling on the floor with absolute joy filling me up with giggles. I reached for the mouse, quickly changed my status to add cute emoticons, and put my profile picture with a catfishing selfie and placed a picture of Cinnamoroll as my banner. Now I'm officially a discord kitten, ready to tackle Ronin!

<User> alright!!! I won't disappoint ÙwÚ

<goreboy> alright then, i expect More than just Bark.

One month quickly passed and you were having a blast writing your novel. You managed to craft a perfect serial killer protagonist. Brash, charismatic and manipulative. It was pretty obvious who it was based on. During your past time, you would lurk around the server, occasionally replying to some texts.

You decide to slide into Ronin’s DMs.

<User> hi ronin!! OwO

<goreboy> oh look Who's Here, it's our server's Enigma.

<User> yeeeppp! It is I, the server’s enigma! ÙvÚ

<goreboy> how amusing You Are. Well, let's play a game.

You raised your eyebrow.

<User> what game?

<goreboy> You'll see

@goreboy is calling you!

You picked up the call with no hesitation. Right in front of you was a man with wine red hair, a devil beanie and piercings. He also wore a black jacket over a skull printed shirt. He looked young— but definitely not ‘teenager young’. He looked like an adult, possibly in his mid 20s.

<User> sorry my mic is broken.

Ronin’s piercing eyes stared across the screen, his smirk crept up his face, stifling a laughter.

“Oh please! To speak the truth! I know you're trying to be a discord kitten. It's honestly so amusing to see how pathetic you are.”

“As expected of the devil, you find amusement in me trying to be a discord kitten.” You scoffed as you leaned back on your chair, “So what is this?”

“We'll be playing truth or dare. Now, pick your poison and we shall see.”

“Dare.”

Ronin leaned back on his chair and starting chuckling loudly, the audio glitches a little.

“Alright darlin, I want you to tell the server that you're in love with me.”

You felt the heat rush up to your cheeks

You tried to hide it but failing to. This made Ronin chuckle again, “What is it darling? Cat got your tongue?”

You sighed as you replied, “ Alright, bet.”

You toggled off the calling screen and went to the main channel, typing in…

<User>I've danced with the devil and now I'm obsessed.

<hitmeuppp> Omg does that mean…

<Angelic> …

You went back to the call just to see Ronin’s expression twisting in absolute euphoria.

“Alright then, my turn but I'll play it in my own way. Truth or dare.”

“Heh…dare.”

“I dare you to send me nitro and make me your discord kitten.”

Ronin smirked again, “That's two in one!”

You frowned, “I said I'll play it in my own way. It's counted as one sentence. One sentence, one dare.”

“You're one feisty little kitten. Alright darling, I'll send you some nitro.” his shit setting grin still on his face.

A second later, you received nitro from goreboy. You were surprised that he even did it however it brought joy to your heart. You could finally customise your profile to the fullest extent and use emojis from any server you're in.

“Well, thanks for that I guess.”

“Okay, my turn. True or dare.”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to give me a kiss.”

“Bet, sending you air kisses.”

You pout up your lips and fanned your hand towards the screen. Now that's an air kiss. Now it was my turn, I felt a little bolder.

“I say…dare.” Ronin leads back to his chair again.

“I dare you to tell the server that you're OBSESSED with me.”

Ronin lets out another shit eating grin and after a bit, he replies, “Done and dusted.”

You check the main channel…

<goreboy> im Obsessed with @user

<Angelic> what?

<hitmeuppp> OMG ITS TRUE

Oh my gosh, their reactions are priceless.

At this point, you were thoroughly satisfied with the outcome of the game. You decide to save the rest of the fun for another day.

“Well, that wraps it up. Bye Ronin.”

“Heh, well then. Cya soon, my darlin’ kitten.”

To be continued...

[aziraphales-library]

Hello! Thank you so much for all your amazing work! I’m looking for fics where Crowley has a lot of baggage from a previous relationship. But he’s trying to work through it to make a new relationship with Aziraphale work.

I loved Car Trouble by SummerOfSpock and I’d love to find something that hits the same emotional beats as that one.

Hi! I'd suggest checking our #crowley/lucifer tag, as that relationship doesn't usually go well. And here are fics where's Crowley is moving on from bad relationships. Mind the tags on a few these!...

Indelible Marks by Augenblickgotter (T)

Anthony Crowley is a successful antique dealer moving from a messy breakup. Feeling the urge to prove to himself it's over and he can do something he's held off for years, he goes for his first tattoo. The fear of trying to move on is topped by a crippling fear of pain. Yet he discovers that everyone and everything leaves indelible marks, and it's up to each of us the ones we chose to take, cover, or bare and where to find our wings.

In Which the Flower Grows by Snowfilly1 (M)

"The car's too fast suddenly; Crowley doesn't want to be swept along into another new place and he thinks about stopping, pulling over somewhere for a coffee he doesn't need and won't like but that won't help. Nothing ever does." Crowley's always been a good teacher but the rest of his life is a wreck and he doesn't think moving to Tadfield and a new job in the secondary school there will be any different.

A Devil set aside for Me. by DarkAngel2891 (T)

Human AU, Aziraphale is sitting down for some reading time when a troubled young man appears in his shop.

Safe Haven by McRaider (T)

When Anthony Crowley stepped back into Aziraphale's life for the first time after eight long years missing, it became exceedingly clear with him came a world of trouble and heartache. But Aziraphale never could say no to his beloved Crowley. Can he help Crowley heal after a failed marriage, a gas-lighting ex-wife with an evil plan?

Rearrangements by sheendav (E)

Aziraphale, a lonely anxious bookseller from Soho, walks in St. James park every Wednesday and Sunday. For nearly nine months he has had various, wordless, encounters with a very handsome red-haired man with sunglasses. They have never spoken, but a strange and lovely intimacy has slowly grown between them as they share the same space, and feed the ravenous ducks by the pond. It's all been rather lovely... and then one day... the red-haired man says 'hello.' UPDATE: Rated 'E' for chapters 13 and 16, see beginning notes for warnings on all other chapters. Reads as an ACE-friendly story through Chapter 12, though acknowledges the existence of sexuality in earlier chapters.

Lavender, Chamomile, and a Rather Permanent Arrangement by southdownsraph (M)

Crowley owns the flower shop across the street from A. Z. Fell's tattoo shop, and can't help but be intrigued by the slightly eccentric, yet incredibly friendly tattoo artist. When Crowley does finally pluck up the courage to talk to him beyond the occasional pleasantries, he kicks off the beginning of a friendship that could so easily drift into something else entirely.

And the one you mentioned...

Car Trouble by summerofspock (E)

Aziraphale's car breaks down so he takes it to the first mechanic he can find. From there, his mundane life changes drastically as he finds himself befriending the man fixing his car.

- Mod D

[opal-owl-flight]

Gonna be interrupting the ongoing Neo3 saga for a bit, because something serious needs to be addressed.

Its come to my attention that there have been some serious allegations against me and another member of the Magoverse server. The posts were brought to us by someone in said server and that’s how we all found out.

Im here to provide proof against them.

TLDR: There has been a person lying about some very serious matters. I will discuss and provide proof against their claims below.

A former member of our server, giyagas-strikes-back, has claimed that I have been generally harassing them while they were there. They have stated that they have no proof of their accusations. There is no evidence of this because it did not happen at all.

I did not abuse or harass them. All I did was address the behavior that was making other members of the server uncomfortable. We were not once rude to this individual. We had spoken with them regarding their disruptive behavior multiple times, including their disrespect towards our members when they had asked them to tone things down and failed to regard such wishes.

 Seen below:

For this next series of screenshots, they were involved in an rp involving sudden angst/violence that made members in the server uncomfortable. I was not the one who addressed the concern, but I did agree with the point of the one who did.

Another event where they commented something negative about something and someone else talked to them about it. Again, I was only agreeing with someone else, I did not speak harshly to them at all:

We never held a grudge against them, and only spoke to them in this way when they made someone uncomfortable.

Additionally, they told us that they were at least 13 (minimum age for joining the server) when we talked to them. We all thought we were speaking to an individual who would handle criticism we gave them seriously. We found out later that they were lying about their age:

Because we weren't notified, it only came to our attention much later into their membership, as is shown here. (Edited Discord notifications do not provide an "unread message" tag, and with a massive influx of members coming in at that time, this message was quickly buried.) We do not accept members under the age of 13 in our server. Every member under the age of 18 must inform us that they are a minor (no specific number required, just that they're under 18), and they are given a tag indicating that they are a minor. Additionally, we have multiple guidelines in place regarding minors and VC manners. We all mind our distance. To note: Before we could confront giyagas-strikes-back they left the server. We are unsure if they left because they caught wind we knew about them lying about their age, or if they left because of the multiple times that members of the mod staff had been forced to step in to handle behaviors or statements made by them that made other members uncomfortable.

An extra note to add, giyagas-strikes-back claimed that all this happened in a server where the “mod was always away”. We are the mods, and they were fully aware of this. The status of our mods is very apparent and in no way shape or form secret. Even our nicknames are given a specific color to indicate that we are the mods of the server. We only ever interacted with them on the specific server that we mod, so I am unsure if this is another lie, or if they legitimately didn’t realize we were mods and that is why we kept addressing their behaviors with them.

They also mentioned that I associate with Blaze, who they claim said weird stuff to them/is grooming them. But doing a quick search on a statement they made proves otherwise:

I believe these allegations are an immature act of retaliation due to our addressing their ill behaviors.

Theres one more thing I need to address. It was also brought to my attention that someone is claiming I stole an AU. I was never approached about this, neither has Blue as far as I am aware, and honestly have no idea what AU they're referring to, so I'm going to assume it is CtyH (Close to Your Heart, the au where Mags marries a god). We first discussed this au last January 26, 2023 -- here are screenshots of the first discussions about it. This AU started off as an offshoot to my interp and evolved from there. If anyone ever felt I had stolen something, it was never brought up with me or Blue, and I never wrote this AU with anyone elses in mind.

In closing: A healthy reminder. When people are accusing others of something, never take just their word as fact. Always look into it before making your own decision about the person in question, even if it comes from someone you trust. Never let anyone's opinion be your opinion. Always, ALWAYS, find the facts and discern for yourself! Make your own choice. Don't allow others to choose for you. Take this evidence as you will, but please, if you know those responsible for damning our names and making these baseless claims, we ask that you do not harass them on our behalf. We will not tolerate anyone speaking ill of them in my name. Yes, what they are doing is bad, but would any of us be better if we reciprocate in the same manner? That helps no one. Instead, simply inform and educate others. Be peaceful, be respectful. Be polite. Do not attack these people under any circumstances.

[cherliin]

the sims 4: elemental legacy challenge

🔥💧🪨⚡💨

note: i will add more to this challenge if i gain more ideas for other elements, and if requested, change goals around for already existing ones.

generation 1: water ˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🌊🦈˚˖𓍢ִ✧˚.🪸

you've lived your whole life underwater, told of the dangers that came from the surface. upon adulthood, your curiosity got the best of you, and you wound up washed on shore in an unfamiliar, tropical place. even stranger? you have legs!

required mods: expanded mermaids 2.0

traits: child of the ocean, vegetarian, socially awkward

aspiration: soulmate

world: sulani

goals:

your sim must be a mermaid

explore the cave in sulani

lover must be a human conservationist

gain at least 3 mermaid perks

reach level 5 mermaid rank

must make all money from diving underwater

must have a beach wedding

must try for a baby at the waterfall in sulani for your first child

have three children

generation 2: ice ❅❄️🧊✧˖°⛸️･:*:｡

your parents were always a little weird. they were secretive, often kept to themselves, and insisted that you and your siblings were different from others. but you didn't understand. when you touched water, it didn't hurt you or turn you into a fish. you moved away not long after reaching adulthood, seeking something more. that was when you discovered snow. it was just like water, but mushy and super cold. you love the cold!

required mods: figure skater career

traits: wiggly (infant), insider, adventurous

aspiration: extreme sports enthusiast

world: snowy escape

goals:

earn the adrenaline seeker lifestyle

reach level 5 in the figure skater career

have the iceproof reward trait

max out the snowboarding skill

max out the skiing skill

max out the rock climbing skill

frequently visit an indoor ice-skating rink (link) and get good at skating

have three failed relationships

one of your failed relationships should end after an engagement. during this relationship, get pregnant by woohooing at the ice cave.

generation 3: fire ⊹₊🔥⋆｡°✩

you're a pretty hot-headed person. you've actually always been rowdy, even as an infant. you're upset with your parents for splitting up and forcing you to stay in different places every week. and honestly, you're tired of the cold and the long trips to the mountains. you quite like the sanctity of being home, and you've sprouted a newfound passion for food, too.

traits: intense (infant), neat, hot-headed

aspiration: master chef / restauranteur

world: oasis springs

goals:

start cooking from a very young age and max out the cooking skill before adulthood

have the heatproof reward trait

max out the gourmet cooking skill

max out the baking skill

open your own restaurant and reach 5 stars

get married to one of your own staff members

have two children

cheat on your spouse, get caught, and divorce

remarry as an elder

generation 4: earth ˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚🍀

you were the witness of...a lot of violence early in your life. you couldn't stand the sight of it. you run away from home as a teenager and decide to move into the countryside where you hope to find relaxation and start something of your own without the help of anyone else. you love plants and animals equally, and hope to build up a massive farm to call home.

traits: sensitive (infant), animal enthusiast, loves outdoors, peaceful

aspiration: freelance botanist

world: henford-on-bagley

goals:

move into a 50x40 lot in henford-on-bagley as a teenager and start from nothing

befriend birds and rabbits as you grow your farm

max out the gardening skill

raise cows, chickens, mini-goats, and llamas

adopt a large dog breed to protect your animals in the farm and always have a dog in the household

make money exclusively from farming

find love as a teenager and get married as a young adult

have four children

by the end of your life, live in a grand farmhouse and have a large greenhouse

generation 5: wind 𓇢𓆸°❀🍃⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🌪️

the farm life was never for you. you wanted to smell anything but cow poop every time you stepped outside. you wanted education, you wanted...the city! that's right, there's a city! you want to explore, and see all that the world has to offer! of course, life in the city isn't always the easiest, and you struggle to make ends meet as a young author fresh out of college...what does life have in store for you?

traits: creative, outgoing

aspiration: archaeology scholar

world: san myshuno

goals:

graduate from high school early and enroll in university to study language and literature

go out often with friends, at least twice a week

become a freelance writer and move into san myshuno upon graduating university

max out the writing skill

visit selvadorada and explore the jungle to find ruins

max out the archaeology skill

get married to a sim from selvadorada

have one child

write 10 books about your archaeology and have at least two bestsellers

generation 6: lightning .｡ﾟ🗲..｡ ⚡　ﾟ..🗲｡ﾟ🎧

your parents pampered you a lot. unfortunately for them, you have a snarky personality and absolutely live for attention. you hope to become an actress and share your talents with the entire world, and you want to be richer than anyone in your family could ever be. you always thought it was strange that your parents didn't seek the treasures of selvadorada more, so you'll make your own!

required mods: actor overhaul

traits: self-absorbed, art lover

aspiration: world-famous celebrity

world: de sol valley

goals:

max out the painting skill

max out the acting skill

to gain fame, become an actress and sell your artwork

open your own art gallery and sell your work for the highest prices possible

become a 5 star celebrity

become engaged to another 5 star celebrity but never marry

have two children with your fiancé

adopt two small dogs and name them after gemstones

live in a massive multi-million dollar mansion before your death

generation 7: aether ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

you and your sibling never really saw your parents much. they were too busy filming television shows together and attending interviews. the nanny who raised you was a strange middle-aged woman with special abilities. you wanted to be just like her, so one day, you packed your things and snuck out of the house to follow her. that was when you discovered magic!

required mods: untamed magic is untamed

traits: loner, ambitious

aspiration: spellcraft & sorcery

world: glimmerbrook

goals:

visit the magic realm and become a spellcaster as a young adult

collect all magical artifacts

learn all spells

learn and create all potions

woohoo with one of your teachers and have a child with them

kill the teacher that parented your child using magic

upon mastering sorcery, become a medium and make money off of exorcising spirits

bring an evil spirit back to life and have a child with them

marry the spirit you resurrected

[wehaveimagineshere]

Hey I don't know if either of you would be comfortable with doing this (totally chill if not) but could I request something for Carlos Oliveira comforting his s/o through an anxiety episode? My doctor is moving around my medication and the adjustment is making my anxiety attacks/depressive tendencies worse and im also scared to go to sleep due to nightmare issues.

iirc the Ren (the RE mod) only does scenarios but if I'm wrong any format is fine. Thanks for reading. You two have a nice day.

Anxiety and depression sucks, anon. I hope your new medication works soon and the demons are pushed back. I'm proud of you for fighting through it, for waking up every day <3

You're my first Resident Evil request! :D And for Carlos no less! Thank you so much, and I hope this scenario helps you <3

You didn't specify gender or pronouns, so it defaults to AFAB and she/her.

~*~*~

Your grip on the bathroom sink counter turns your knuckles white, your chest squeezing as you stare at your pajamas heaped next to the sink. Next to the toothpaste, that you inevitably have to use. Next to the toothbrush, your first step in this nightly ritual.

Maybe skipping all of this for one night wouldn't hurt. Maybe, maybe you could just go to bed with the clothes on your back, jeans and bra and socks included.

The familiar acid behind your eyes burns, throat constricting as you grip that counter for dear life. A short inhale, a whooshed exhale.

You don't want to do this.

Pressing your lips together to hide their quiver, you crouch down to escape the mirror, to escape the evidence as tears slip past. You grip the counter so hard it hurts, but the pain doesn't register as the tide erupts, filling your chest and lungs and limbs and--

Did you do anything productive today? Did you do it all the right way? Your hamper is full, why didn't you do your laundry? That lunch meat in your fridge is about to go bad and all you had today was toast instead. You need to eat or you'll feel worse, but what's the point? Every day leads to night and night leads to--

"I'm home!"

The call cuts into your thoughts, pausing them for just a moment before they shift direction.

Inhaling feels like swallowing glass as you rise, loosening your white knuckled grip to wipe at your wet face, to rub at your red eyes. Fingers tangling in your shirt, you almost whimper as your arm gets stuck in the fabric and you almost rip the seams in your haste.

Tossing the shirt onto the floor, you fumble as you regret the decision, trying and failing to grab it. Chest heaving, your fingers can't stop shaking as you try desperately to unlatch your bra, to be seen as being at least half way into getting dressed like a normal person.

"Honey?"

He's in the bedroom now and your fingers can't grab the hooks, they won't bend like you want them to and they won't stop shaking shaking shaking--

"Hey. Hey hey hey." Warm hands gently grip your upper arms, turning you to face him as his brown eyes dart. You know he notes the redness in your face and eyes, your inability to take a damn breath, the movements you can't stop as you choke down the tears--

"Hey," he breathes again, running his hands down your arms to guide your fingers away from your back and into his palms. "Take a deep breath." You nearly choke, and he squeezes your fingers, thumb running along your knuckles. "Inhale." You try again. "Good, good. Now exhale."

You do, feeling that damn lower lip quiver again and trap it between your teeth.

"One more time. Good."

This is ridiculous, you're ridiculous, why can't you just be normal like everyone else?

"Hey." Laying one hand on top of your other, his free hand cups your cheek, a thumb brushing away a stray tear. "You're safe, you're okay, I'm here. What do you need?"

You need to have normal dreams. You need to be able to plan your day without worrying about the wildest, stupidest things. You need to be able to make your breakfast without worrying if you're putting the correct things in the recycling even though you've put them there a hundred times already.

All that comes out is a broken sob.

"Can I hug you?"

A sniff, a small nod, and your cheek is pressed against his chest as he wraps you in his warmth. One arm snakes around your waist as another goes around your shoulders, his hand resting lightly against the back of your neck.

The tears come fully then, sobs wracking your body. Gripping him tight, Carlos your pillar in the storm, you break apart. Know you can shatter and he'll help you pick up the pieces, loving every shard put back into place, no matter how crooked the final picture becomes.

Fingers play with your hair soothingly as you ride out the panic, as it drains you so completely, as you soak Carlos' shirt with your tears. It could've been minutes or hours but eventually the river dries up, your lungs can take a deeper gulp of air, and your fingers can relax their death grip on his shirt.

"'M'sorry," you mumble out.

"For what?" His voice rumbles in his chest, against your cheek. "For being the biggest badass I've ever known?"

Trying to scoff but only achieving a small huff of air, you croak out, "'M'not."

"Of course you are." He rests his chin on the crown of your head. "You're the bravest person I know."

You roll your eyes.

"I felt that." You feel him pause. "Hey, do something for me." Turning you both so your eyes are directed at the mirror, he continues, "What do you see?"

Weakness, stupidity, uselessness, futility--

"I see a woman who got her pajamas ready even though she doesn't want to sleep." His fingers graze against your neck, knowing the movement will keep your eyes focused on your reflection. "I see a woman who woke up not feeling well but got out of bed anyway."

"I can't stay in bed all day," you mumble.

"That's what I'm talking about. You could stay in bed all day, but you don't. You could just drink a shit ton of coffee to stay awake, but you don't. You could call out of work, but you don't." He rubs his cheek against your head, presses his lips in for a quick kiss. "It's easy to do what I do and shoot things, but what you do? I don't know if I could do that."

A few more tears slip out, but this time accompanied with a small smile on your lips. Strained, pained, but a smile nonetheless.

"And to still look stunning doing it all?" He smiles wide, giving you a wink through the mirror. "Strong and good looking."

That smile pulls just a little wider. "I look like shit."

"You look like you just beat the hell out of some demons and walked away the winner. That's sexy. Hell is literally a part of a demon's make up."

The scoff sounds a little bit more like a scoff now. "Looking like I just climbed out of a ditch is sexy?"

"Hell yeah it is. I ever tell you the color of your eyes pop after you've cried?"

"No."

"Well, the color of your eyes pop after you cry." He cups your cheeks and turns your face to his, his nose brushing against yours as he squints. "Beautiful."

"You're so cheesy."

"Does it work?"

You press your lips together and squint in faux contemplation.

"I'm taking that as a yes."

Rolling your eyes, the smile finally breaks free.

"There it is," he smiles back, giving a peck of a kiss on your nose. "You'll be okay?"

Wiping a hand across your eyes, you exhale heavily. "I'll be okay."

"So..." A hand leaves a cheek to snake down your shoulder blades, and you raise an eyebrow as he asks with a light, playful smile, "Need help with this?" A finger slips under your bra strap, right against the clasp.

"Aiming to practice, are you?"

"I don't need practice, princess. Taking off a bra is easy."

"Y'okay, big guy." Sharing a smile, you shake your head. "I'll be alright. Thank you."

That smile morphs into a genuine one. "You're welcome." Stepping back, he gives you a long, searching look before flashing a relieved smile and padding back into the bedroom. "Hurry up and get dressed!"

"So bossy!" you call, turning back to your pajamas. Your hands rests atop the fabric, muscles threatening to lock again.

"I wanna cuddle!"

A huff of a laugh escapes your nose, taking with it the rest of the tension running through your body, and you hurriedly free the girls before slipping on your pajama shirt.

[pearlsephoni]

To Paint a (Still) Life

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: T

Fandom: Psycho-Pass

Pairing: Gen

Characters: Tomomi Masaoka, Nobuchika Ginoza, Akane Tsunemori

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: In a world that grows bleaker with every passing year, Masaoka does what he can to immortalize the little joys.

A/N: This was written for In Time: A Psycho-Pass 10th Anniversary Tribute zine. It was such an honor to be included amongst so many incredible creators in this tribute to an incredible series! Thank you to the mods @/temporarilyunstable and @/shikkokans for organizing everything! The zine site went live on November 12, 2022, and this fic was originally published on AO3 on June 26th, 2023. Further author's notes can be found on AO3.

———

Every good still life must first have a subject.

The flowers on the bedside table were starting to wilt, the edges of their petals turning brown and brittle despite the still-vibrant colors clinging to the rest of the satiny surface. Masaoka let his fingers brush the dry edges, a wry smile curving his lips.

“I’ll have to remember to bring you new ones next time, hm?” he asked.

He received no response, nor did he expect one. These visits usually found him speaking into the air, his words falling on unhearing ears.

But still, he came. There was no fixing their family now, he knew that, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do…something to ease the damage. And he wasn’t the only one.

“I wonder where Nobuchika found these tulips,” he mused, his fingers wandering back to the red petals. “They’re awfully pretty. I’m glad he still appreciates beauty in the little things.”

A soft sigh came from the wheelchair parked at the large window. The sound drew Masaoka to its side, where he took a look at his wife’s—former wife’s, he corrected himself sullenly—blank features. To his surprise, there was an almost-imperceptible upward curve to the very edges of her lips. The small difference was enough to bring some light to her face, and for a single bittersweet moment, she looked like the vibrant woman he had fallen in love with all those years ago.

“You always did love red flowers,” he murmured, unable to resist the urge to brush a wayward strand of hair back behind her ear. “I never would’ve expected him to remember. Our son is more thoughtful than he likes to let on.”

Another soft sigh, and the feeling of her leaning just the slightest bit into his gentle fingers. “He got that from you, Sae.” There was a hitch to his voice, almost imperceptible to his own ears, but the sight of her thumb tracing a small curve along the back of her clasped hands told him she’d heard.

His eyes wandered from her gentle features back to the flowers, the source of her quiet joy. Perhaps he should immortalize them somehow.

———

Draw your chosen objects onto a canvas, taking care to get their shapes accurate.

“Ah, Ginoza.” Masaoka tried and failed to keep his surprise out of his voice. He had more success in biting back the smile that nearly rose to his lips at the sight of Ginoza’s mouth twisting. “To what do I owe the honor?”

“No honor, just news.” Ginoza’s green eyes flickered over his shoulder before snapping back to him. “Well? Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

That was more like it. Masaoka never knew what to do with the brief glimpses he caught of his son’s deep-buried insecurity, and the quiet manners it brought out. This, though, this show of superiority and power that he’d put on ever since he entered the PSB as an Inspector, was something Masaoka was much more familiar with. “Of course. Come in.”

He didn’t wait for Ginoza to step in, simply left the door open behind him as he made his way back to the windows, where he’d set up a new canvas and his sketching pencils in front of a chair. He sat just as he heard the door clicking shut and Ginoza following him. “Well then,” he said as he took his pencil back up, “what is this important news?”

Silence fell where he’d expected a curt answer. He looked over his shoulder, and found Ginoza staring at the photo of Sae’s flowers that Masaoka had taken and was now projecting from his communicator. “…Ginoza?”

“Ah.” Ginoza blinked as though he’d been dragged out of a dream. Masaoka could easily read the way he shoved his glasses back up his nose, knew that it was a way to stall, but he didn’t say anything. He simply turned back to his canvas, and sketched.

“…Our division has been issued a new Inspector,” Ginoza finally announced. “She will be starting in a month, after she has completed her pre-work training.”

“I see.” Masaoka finished sketching out the petals of the second tulip. “And have the other enforcers received this news?”

“That’s none of your concern.” Ginoza’s voice sounded tight, and Masaoka almost felt bad about his gentle teasing. “What matters is that you will all know when she gets here, and you will all treat her with the respect that a superior deserves. I’ll have enough on my hands showing her the ropes as the only other Inspector. I don’t need to worry about your basic manners.”

With his face safely turned to his canvas, Masaoka finally let a small grin pull at his lips. “Understood, Inspector.”

“…Good.” Another beat of silence, then the sound of business shoes clicking back to the door.

“I’m sure she’ll be an excellent Inspector,” Masaoka suddenly spoke up, just before Ginoza reached the door, “especially under your instruction. You don’t have anything to worry about, Nobuchika.”

“I don’t need an Enforcer to tell me how to feel about this,” Ginoza bit out, “I know I’m capable of doing my job.”

That was about the response Masaoka expected to get. What he didn’t expect was the soft, “…I’ll see you Tuesday,” that came right before his door opened and closed.

His small grin broadened into a smile as he sketched out the smaller branches of leaves. “You’re welcome, kiddo.”

———

Paint in the base colors, working from the darkest colors to the palest.

Akane Tsunemori proved to be a little bundle of contradictions. Where Masaoka had expected a no-nonsense Inspector, he saw the walking embodiment of nerves and an eagerness to please. Where he anticipated her to crumble under the pressure of having such a gruesome first case, she instead stuck to her morals and shot down their most intimidating Enforcer. And where he expected her to flee the PSB after a hellish first day, she instead dug her heels in and worked to adapt. And she did so remarkably well. He just wished that didn’t include her stubborn attempts to understand one Shinya Kogami.

It was unnerving how much she reminded him of both Kogami and Ginoza when they first began working as Inspectors. She was determined to make a difference, wanted her work to be for the greater good, and not just the preservation of Sibyl. And just like before, Masaoka could already see the signs of their work hardening Akane’s skin like armor.

But there was something else. She wasn’t becoming tough to the core. Somehow, she still held on to her sense of justice, still wanted to believe in the inherent good of both the people and the system she worked to protect. Her determined optimism was achingly familiar to Masaoka—he remembered seeing it light up his son’s eyes when he was first assigned to the PSB, remembered seeing it flicker behind Kogami’s smile back when he was still an Inspector…remembered feeling it burn hot in his own chest when he was still a detective with a happy wife and a newborn son.

It never lasted long, not in this line of work, and especially not with Sibyl breathing down their necks. He knew it was only a matter of time before it faded from Akane as well. And yet…he still found himself wanting to protect it—protect her—for as long as he possibly could. If that meant discouraging her from lingering too long on her fascination with Kogami, then so be it. He’d seen first-hand the way Kogami’s dangerous mix of charisma, intelligence, and focus could tempt those around him into the same destructive habits.

“If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you,” he told her, only to earn furrowed brows and a small frown in response. Ah, he realized, she really is cut from the same cloth. It didn’t matter what he said to her—she’d already made up her mind. Her wide eyes and gentle voice couldn’t hide her fierce curiosity and immoveable stubbornness.

Well…if he couldn’t convince her to protect herself, maybe he could find some way to keep her safe himself.

———

Add details to the foreground and background, deepen the shadows to add more depth. This will help your subject stand out.

The door shut behind him with a soft click. Just like that, he was alone, isolated in his own home—or, cell…he really couldn’t tell the difference anymore—and left with no distractions from the mess he’d just made.

He’d thought he was so much older and wiser, thought that he had left behind the wide-eyed idyllicism that had drawn him to this god-forsaken career. But here he was, down one pistol and one set of keys to his safe house. He had just sent Kogami on what was essentially a suicide mission, and now he would have to face Tsunemori and Nobuchika and all the others, and watch them figure out what he’d done.

He knew giving Kogami a gun and refuge was a mistake. He knew it. And yet…he couldn’t find it in himself to feel any regret. The fool was always going to pursue Makishima, no matter the personal cost. At least Masaoka could tell himself he’d done what he could to lessen that cost, just a bit.

His eyes burned with exhaustion and his stomach burned with bourbon, but he didn’t move towards his bedroom. He instead found himself wandering into the moonlit living room, flicking on a lamp on his journey to the easel that was still set up by the windows. There was no way he was going to sleep. He might as well get some other work done while he could.

———

At last, you can add the final details to your piece, such as brighter highlights. But be careful—less is more.

“Thank you for helping me with this.”

“Of course, Ginoza-san.” Akane was growing used to the grief that had settled in her chest like a rock. It felt like her days were a never-ending parade of sorting through the things her loved ones had left behind—Kagari’s vintage tech collection, Kogami’s books, and now, whatever secret interest Masaoka had stashed away.

And yet, for all that she was getting “used to” the process, she still felt her eyes sting when she stepped into Masaoka’s old living quarters and breathed in the familiar scent of bourbon and paints. She could see the effects of being surrounded by his father’s presence weighing on Ginoza, and no amount of wry grins could keep her from noticing his curved-in shoulders.

“No need to use ‘-san’ with me,” he chuckled as he led her further into the salon. “You’re the superior, now.”

“I still learned everything about this job from you.”

“Not just me.”

The quiet words pulled her eyes from wandering around the room back to Ginoza. He was standing by a covered easel near the window, holding up one edge of the fabric to peer at the painting underneath with a small, sad smile. “He never finished.”

“Finished what?”

“This.” It was surprising, seeing how carefully Ginoza unveiled the painting, but not as surprising as what awaited underneath. Akane’s breath caught in her throat—she...she knew that painting. She could distantly remember watching Masaoka lay down the base colors so many months ago.

And the strangest thing was, it looked finished to her. The vase looked almost real from how detailed the reflections were, and the flowers looked like they could bloom straight from the canvas. “It looks done to me.”

“It’s not. The flowers, they…they look too alive. They were starting to go brown at the edges when he started painting them.”

“How do you—?”

“I gave these flowers to my mother. He must have taken a photo of them and painted them to let her enjoy them forever.” Something around his eyes hardened, and his fingers tightened in the fabric he was still holding. “He…he had plans and projects and now—”

His voice broke. The next thing Akane knew, the fabric was fluttering to the ground as Ginoza pressed his hands to his eyes, shoulders drawn up tight around his ears.

Akane had never seen anyone in the PSB cry. In fact, the last person she’d seen cry was Kaori at Yuki’s funeral. So she did what she’d done for Kaori: she stepped up to Ginoza, gently wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and didn’t let go, not even when she felt him stiffen. “Don’t,” she murmured firmly, “don’t apologize. We have to grieve for him. We have to remember him. We’re the only ones who can, Ginoza-san.”

He was frozen for a moment, his only movements coming from his shaking sobs. Then, like a drifting boat in search of a mooring, his hands fell from his eyes and clutched at the back of her shirt as his forehead came to a rest on her shoulder. “...Thank you, Tsunemori,” he whispered, his voice rough from his tears.

“Of course.”

Ginoza gave himself a few more breaths before he pulled away, granting Akane a look at his reddened eyes. “Um,” he murmured, rubbing at the lingering tear tracks on his cheeks, “would you…be willing to help me take this to my mother? I don’t know how well she remembers him, but…I think he was painting this for her in the first place. She should be the one to have it.”

“Give me the time and place,” Akane agreed with a smile. “I’ll be there.”

[nova--spark]

Thea's Relationship w/ Team Prime Pt.2

I had previously talked about Anthea's Relationships with Team Prime [ Here ] ,and I wanted to try and write about her relationships with the secondary members of team Prime.

Without further ado, here we go.

Smokescreen , being so young, and a bit reckless, Anthea thought of him being a bit like Bee at the start.

But after a while hanging around, she noted how he also seemed to be living up to great expectations, with how he tried so hard to impress others, or be the 'star player' of the team.

She feels a bit of a kinship in that, having dropped from her college program online after the loss of her legs, feeling she'd failed her own expectations. When she has the free time, she offers him a chance to see around Jasper, and some lesser known spot where he can try out his speed, as well as just helping him understand a bit of Earth culture here and there.

And if she's snuck him out to the race tracks, under the guise of recon, or because she 'needed a ride somewhere', well that's her scolding to take.

Wheeljack and her get along quite well, the former scientist turned Wrecker being very curious on how it is her situation works, though less on the medical sense like Ratchet, and more on the 'Wanna test X idea that will end up with BOTH of us in trouble?'

The answer to that question is often Yes, and they've gotten an earful from Ratchet more than enough times to last them well over 5x their lifespans. Wheeljack is to thank for quite a few of her legs upgrades actually, and she genuinely likes to talk to him, since she can run her ideas by him, and he will help out with his own knowledge to make them a reality.

Wheeljack is to thank for at least the following mods to her legs:

Magnetic Soles

Detachable blades

Shock Absorption

Climbing Hooks

Ankle jets

He is also responsible for helping in some of her plans relating to her weaponry, but ya didn't hear about that.

Ultra Magnus is a...difficult person to categorize for Anthea. His mannerisms, stickler for the rules type is something she was never really a fan of, especially with how Thea herself tends to throw caution to the wind, and refuse to follow a chain of command as others would.

But...she's noticed a good bit of how he does care. In quieter ways, how his reprimands are firm, but that at the same time, the compliments are genuine.

Magnus has however, commended her for her efforts in missions. She has every excuse to step back, leave and never return, but she's run right into the fray if it means protecting the kids and making sure those she cares for make it back in one piece.

She gives him a hard time, often sassing back the stern and no-nonsense commander, but has noted he gives her space. Anthea is grateful, as he does check in on her.

She's asked him a few questions here and there as well, concerning the Forge which he wields and he has at the very least, offered a chance to speak about it, and perhaps offer to teach her as well.

[just-a-random-person24]

Stark's Mind notes episodes 7-12 :)

Episode 7

• wishes he'd have a grappling hook but thinks he'd fall into the water below if he did have one

• acrophobic!

• still uncomfortable with being in vents. Vent sharks and the possibility of the facility collapsing on him

• doesn't know how the grating held his weight

• would rather be dehydrated than drink Black Mesa's water

• thinks of the aliens of a hindrance

• doesn't know why he's the only one trying to get help. Thinks the resonance cascade couldn't have killed *that* many people. He complains like a parent who doesn't get any help around the house

• would rather be the one to end the resonance cascade cause he caused it

• thinks about jumping down the edge for a moment

• seems very happy about having to jump across boxes

• lots of pep-talk for himself <3

• “Up is right! But then left would be down…” taking that phrase very literally ~~cough ♾️ cough~~

• wonders if the Houndeyes are actually dangerous and if they just want to play

• actually I lied in ep 5. He seems happy to finally be getting to the office complex :)

---

Episode 8

• tries to get the other scientist in the room to open the door, fails

• why can't the HEV suit go through the electrical hazard? it's a *hazard* the *hazard* suit should be designed for

• thinks him being alive even though he's gone through shit that should've killed him is convenient

• says the Barnacle he just killed is repulsive

• he talks a lot for a series that's a *mind* series /loving

• “That should stop the leak.” that’s… a power switch

• EAS broadcasting the disaster at Black Mesa, telling people within the affected area to get out

• tries to come up with a scientific name for the headcrab zombies

• apologizes to the guard for his dead friend

• “I never meant to bring you to this word, but I can assure you, I will dedicate every single breath in my body to taking you out.” Okay, you can be cool *once*

• he gets a Colt Python here instead of the regular Spas-12. Probably cause it's an earlier version of the game or maybe modded?

• calls the guard a friend :)

• attributes his knowledge of reloading the magnum to watching enough Clint Eastwood movies

• “Now we can safely traverse.” Sir you are alone, who's ‘we’?

• guard shot the houndeye watching TV :,(

• willing to believe Black Mesa installed ceiling turrets just to be evil

---

Episode 9

• needs a helmet :(. Also no vents

• asks a guard if he wants to experience a near-death experience with him

• thinks the guard doesn't believe him about the turret gun

• “Fuck- that was too close!” There is blood on the wall behind him

• thinks the turrets guns were Black Mesa's way of dealing with the recession

• wants to try to save as many people as he can

• FELIX MENTION! STUPID ASS SECRETARY /loving

• tries to help the scientists getting dragged into a vent by a vent shark. fails :(

• gets to the other living scientists! Very offended when the male scientist told him they would die out there

• “step side to side to dodge their attacks!” npc moments

• more turrets! he is *not* getting the achievement :(

• Tells the last remaining survivor with him to stay down

• definitely not doing well after seeing people die right in front of him. Blames himself for their deaths

• apologizes to the hurt scientist

• “Just don't let up, Stark. Don't give in.” Someone *besides* himself should give him a pep talk

• notices the amount of corpses in the room :(

• thinks the guards and scientist are ignoring the amount of stress the whole situation has put on him

• “Why am I shaking? I can do this. See? I can do it, I can deal with this. Well, it doesn't matter if I *can* deal with it. It's that I *have* to. Because people… people like Dr. Vance, or Dr. Kleiner, people like them are counting on me. And I swear… I will get through this, I will. I *have* to. ‘Cause it's my responsibility.”

---

Episode 10

• contemplates getting snacks from the cafeteria. Doesn't because it'd be too awkward

• tells the scientist in the freezer that they're a headache to work with. Still tries to get her to leave the freezer

• takes some bullets from a dead guard despite it being in a pool of blood

• “The only thing this place could give me is a cold because of how cold it is in here.”

• can do a pull-up :(

• lots of meat in the freezer

• MR WHISKERS <3. says the name makes any animal objectively cute

• very confused why the scientist is still in the freezer

• stacking things to avoid things!

• doesn't like being in the vents. Unhygienic and vent sharks and spiders :(

• doesn't like spiders. Doesn't like insects in general

• corrects himself insects *and* arachnids

• that explosion and fire got WAY to close to his face

• thinks this is now the 20th time he's almost died

• lists off all the ways you could die. Very normal things

• “I concur.” I need you to shut up /aff

• the guard left with the other living scientist is gone :(

• checks the stairway for any turrets before going forward

• g-man spotted!

• again thinks the survivors with him are ignoring how he obviously feels about the whole situation

• first death he doesn't blame himself for! Good for him

• thinks it's good the scientist just fell to his death instead of any of the horrible ways you *could* die in Black Mesa

• “it's only a matter of time before the soldiers get to us.” moments taken right before disaster

---

Episode11

• has a lot to deal with when he gets out :(

• “Charming physicist saves entire facility.” Okay Mr. Ego

• realizing that the actual headline would be ‘Rouge physicist commits corporate sabotage’ he instead focuses on not dying

• once again has the opportunity to eat and doesn't

• worries he's stuck after the fire doors closed before realizing there's a button

• easily recognizes a laser tripwire

• Fails multiple times at using the grenades to blow up the turret. Doesn't understand he should save those

• gets shot somewhere he could feel (ear?)

• mentioned before, he usually resorts to his magnum before pistol

• says the fire doors closing is worse than his fire alarm

• questions how vortigaunts teleporting can shatter the glass

• doesn't use the first aid station despite being shot

• no more magnum ammo :(

• feels like Indiana Jones

• jokes about the scientist staying in the freezer

• tries to make small talk with the two scientists

• g-man spotted!

• when hearing the announcement system is under military command says it's a good thing

• “The military is here and we can go home safe and sound.” Oh buddy

• not sure if Breen is aware he was the whistleblower

• the military is not here to help :(

---

Episode 12

• absolutely doesn't want to confront the soldier. Thinks he's overthinking

• just wants to get out and help others escape

• goes around the body to avoid getting blood on his suit

• thinks the rescue team wouldn't believe he killed the soldier in self defense

• MP5!

• going to assume the best and that the rest of the rescue team doesn't know, says that's a bad thing to do

• “My other ear!” your ear got shot before??

• reaffirms that him killing the military is self-defense

• he's a felon/domestic terrorist now because he's killing soldiers

• not closing the fire door because he thinks others should see how incompetent the military is

• tries to climb up boxes to see through the fence. Still can't see much

• falls off the boxes and says that doing that was stupid :(

• prefers the aliens over marines. They don't know what headshots are do he has a 70% chance of living

• still upset about no helmet

• 2 bleeding ears! ouchie!

• runs straight into a bunch of soldiers to try and protect the scientists. Fails

• blood on his suit? Or maybe just a bunch of bullets hitting his suit??

• tries shooting a marine far away with the magnum *without* looking through the iron sight

• his ears are bleeding again :(

• certain he can't negotiate with the military anymore

• has no clue how he's able to even kill the military for being a no-body

• “I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. And yet somehow… heh, I really shouldn't dwell on that kind of thinking too much. Usually that kind of thinking actually leads you to your death.”

• again doesn't acknowledge the first aid when he really needs it

[unofficialgayawakening]

hi, thank you for your work in trying to help keep gay awakening updated! Question: is there any way for someone to individually remove specific support options from the mod? I’d like to use it but would very particularly like to remove the chrom/Frederick option for my own playthroughs because Frederick is canonically stated to have helped raise chrom and lissa according to the drama cd so it makes me uncomfortable :’) if it’s not something that can be done I understand, but if it is id very much love to know how to do that!

Hey there, sorry to hear that Chrom/Frederick makes you uncomfortable! This is the first time I'm hearing about this part of the drama CD-I should really listen to/read that one of these days.

It's actually really easy to add/remove support options nowadays, you just need a program called Paragon and a full dump of the vanilla game's romfs (what the folder containing all of the game's files is called). I'll include instructions here below the readme. If you get stuck or can't get things working, feel free to join the discord and we'll be able to help you more directly!

Step 1 - Get a clean dump of your game's romfs.

Citra users: Right click on your game and select 'Dump RomFs'

Luma users: Launch your 3ds while holding Start to run GodMode9. (note: this guide was written for version v2.1.0 of GodMode9 and any older or newer releases may have different wording) - Physical: Select 'GAMECART' - Digital: Select 'SYSNAND SD' and go into 'title' folder. Open the '00040000' folder to find your games and select FEA's title ID. NA: 000A0500 EU: 0009F100 - Open 'NCSD image options…' and select 'Mount image to drive' then press A. Open 'content0.game' and press R+A while hovering over the romfs folder. Copy to 0:/gm9/out. This is the filepath you'll use to find it when you move to your computer.

Step 2 - Now that you have your romfs dump, you're going to download Paragon and start a new project. The project name can be whatever you want it to be, but make sure you select the right language and game. Your Extracted RomFS Directory is the vanilla romfs dump that you just grabbed, and the Output Directory is going to be UGA's romfs folder. The filepaths will be different when using Luma or if you move anything around for ease of access, but it should look something like this when you're done:

Step 3 - To remove the support options itself, you're going to open the Characters module in the section labeled "Core Data". From there, go to Chrom's name and switch to his Supports tab. Scroll down until you see Frederick's name, and change the Support Type from Fast to Non-romantic. Do the same thing for Frederick- select him and look for Chrom in his support tab to change the Support Type from Fast to Non-romantic. If the support type doesn't match for both characters, they won't be able to gain any support ranks at all, so make sure you change both of them!

Step 4 - The previous step removed the ability for them to support, but you probably want to remove the S support from the support log as well. In the main Paragon menu, you're going to look at the left side where it says "Nodes" and look for the option called "Support / Reliance List". From there, go to both characters and delete their last support (the one that says Support Level 4, with 0 as the Support Number). Make sure to select the correct Delete button as shown in this image:

For Frederick, you're also going to want to delete his PC supports with Lucina, so scroll down and delete all three of the Fredrick x Lucina posts that have the Support Type set to Parent/Child. Now, make sure you also go to select the first support in these lists (the first support with male robin) and select the Regenerate IDs option furthest to the right (not the one on top!). The automatic 0 it gives you is fine, this step is to ensure the game reads the edited support log correctly- failing to regenerate IDs may cause issues. Now that that's been done you're finished in Paragon, so you can go to File > Save to save those changes!

Step 5 - The last thing you can do (if you so desire) is delete the actual supports themselves. You can find the support files in romfs/m/E, where you'll see a ton of files named with Japanese characters. Chrom and Frederick's modded supports are named "クロム_フレデリク.bin.lz" while Lucina and Frederick's PC support is named "マルス_フレデリク_親子.bin.lz"

Step 6 - After that, just make sure your romfs folder is where your mods go and you should be set! You should be able to see the changes both in-game and in the support log now.

Lastly, here are a few things you should know when it comes to updates:

The two files you've edited are the static.bin.lz (this controls many things in the game, including support options) and the RelianceList.bin.lz (the support log)

Unless the support options in the latest update change, or there's a bugfix regarding support gain, you will not need to replace your static.bin.lz! Just keep the one you edited when you update, everything will work perfectly fine. I don't expect the static.bin.lz to be updated frequently, but I will be tweaking support options for the Spotpass characters later down the line so you will have to redo Step 3 when that happens.

The support log for UGA has not been finished yet, so the RelianceList.bin.lz WILL get updated in the next major release, so you will have to replace your own edited one. When that happens, you'll have to repeat Step 4 again, but that doesn't take too long so hopefully that's not an issue! When I finish the support log, you won't have to do this ever again.

And that should be everything! I hope it wasn't too confusing- after you set up Paragon for the first time it's honestly really easy to make changes to the game. It's a super friendly program, and you can do all sorts of silly things with it. Like I said though, you're welcome to join the discord for more direct help from us! We're friendly, I promise :P

[prismatoxic]

rereading the story of that time in skyrim's development where the opening couldn't play bc the cart was being sent into the stratosphere by a single bee and remembering i experienced something marginally similar while modding the game

it's been a few years... but for some ungodly reason, i was going through the cart intro again instead of just loading into unbound (an alternate start mod). i guess i wanted to do the real intro again but didn't have an autosave after the ride ends? don't remember.

so, anyway, i was doing the cart ride, and about halfway into it, the game crashed to desktop. now this isn't terribly unusual for skyrim, and i was willing to move past it if it didn't happen again, but it did. and again, and again, and again...

so obviously i started futzing with my mods. i mean, clearly, that was the issue. i don't remember if i had 200 at the time but if i didn't, i still had a number well above 100. that's a lot to go through, and neither vortex nor LOOT indicated any issues, and SKSE wasn't showing me anything of use either. so what the fuck?

(fwiw, modding skyrim does involve multiple programs, but as the game was made with modding in mind, it's way easier than the majority of games that came out around the same time, let alone earlier.)

i think around this time i tried to load into unbound again, but the game crashed immediately when trying to do so. i had to find this issue if i wanted to play skyrim with my current mod loadout.

so i had a few options:

split my mods into batches and test each one until the crash occurred, then narrow it down until i knew the culprit

learn how to actually understand SKSE a little better and find the problem through it

load the game with NO mods and try to pinpoint what the issue could be to narrow it down immediately

believe it or not, i did all 3.

i started with the first, but iirc i only split my mods in half, and the way vortex works and the way things are divided made it a bit hard to do even that in a non-time consuming way. you can split up your mods but you also have to make sure each half has all relevant dependencies, you see, or the game's going to crash anyway. so i narrowed it down to half of my mods (the other half ran fine), and went from there.

this is where the last option comes in. frustrated, i loaded into the vanilla game, taking note of the setting right about where the crash always happened. i noticed that just when it tended to occur, a rabbit ran across the road. was that it? was that my culprit? i combed through the borked half of my mods, and sure enough, rabbit mod. except it was just a mesh restructuring that a different mod i actually cared about was dependent on. but hey, mods are weird, so i disabled it and ran the game.

nope. still crashed. not the rabbit.

now, i'd been hunting through reddit and the skyrim modding discord and nexus threads the entire time i was going through this ordeal. NO ONE was having the same issue i was. but there are a lot of troubleshooting tips out there for skyrim fuckery, and when several other steps had already failed, i turned to one i'd never tried before: coc riverwood.

"coc" means center on cell, and it's a console command to teleport you instantly to any cell in the game. notably, you can activate it without loading into a save. (i'm sure plenty of other commands can also do this, but i don't mess with the console much).

so riverwood is usually the location people use to check and see if the game is running well otherwise when the intro is bugging out. now, i'd been messing with this CTD issue for hours. i was convinced my game was just irreparably borked, somehow; maybe my computer simply couldn't handle the mod load. but i did try coc riverwood anyway, inputting it at the start menu, which either loads you into a default character or a character from one of your saves, i don't remember which.

and... the game ran fine. VERY fine. better than i was expecting. i wandered around riverwood, interacted with things, and saw no issues at all. so what the fuck? clearly, the crash wasn't a skyrim-wide issue, it was an issue with the cart ride.

and where is the cart ride going? helgen, of course.

so, on a hunch, i backtracked along the path i'd walked a dozen times with other characters, out of riverwood and towards the caves you use to escape helgen. i think i was just barely in view of the start of the reverse of that path when the game crashed.

so, problem (sort of) located: the helgen cell. (which would explain why unbound also didn't work: it loads you in on top of a tower in helgen when you're selecting your file options.)

so here's where that middle option came in. removing mods i knew for sure affected helgen didn't fix the issue, and i didn't even have that many of those, because why would i? helgen is destroyed and there's not a ton of reasons to go back to it outside of morbid curiosity, which i'd done enough times in other saves. that meant whatever file was the problem did not openly or obviously affect helgen, which in turn meant i would need to comb through the half of my mods that crashed the game in SKSE to figure out what was doing it.

this was at least easier than going into SKSE blind; i knew what i needed to look for. so i started looking. by loading all of those mods into the program and then looking specifically for effects or changes to the helgen cell, i could figure out what the issue was.

SKSE is color coded; i don't have it on my current desktop so i can't open it to look right now, but i know for sure that scripts causing no issues at all are green, and scripts causing issues are red. (there are also yellow/orange and grey ones, i think, but i don't remember what those mean.) usually red scripts mean conflicts, which can range from "negligible gameplay impairment" to "crash to desktop when the scripts meet for any reason", because modding is cool and fun.

so i think what i did was keyword search "helgen", and the results i got were largely just confusing for me, because i cannot wrap my mind around how SKSE works. but there was a very clear conflict in there. i just wasn't sure what it meant, or if it was actually my issue.

the script in question was from a mod that i cannot actually recall, but what i DO remember is that it was a mesh/texture optimization mod of some kind. like, the sort you install to make your game run better. it wasn't one of the big ones, i was just overcompensating for my poor old windows 7 desktop that had long since become obsolete for modern gaming, so i had a lot of them.

the specific script i was getting a conflict error on was some texture or mesh in helgen, likely an insignificant one based on what i remember... so i was unsure if it was the issue, but aware that it 100% could be.

and it was.

disabling the associated mod allowed me to enter and exit helgen as normal, with no crashes. i'm reasonably sure i did post about this issue in that mod's comments, or on r/skyrimmods, or... something. can't remember. i was also liveblogging it on twitter but no part of me wants to try and find that again (if it was even on my currently existing twitter and not the old suspended one)

i'm not sure if the mod itself was the issue or if my download of it had gotten corrupted in some way, but i never did try to use it again, so who knows.

skyrim modding is super fun when it works! and when it doesn't work, maybe take breaks while going through the arduous process of troubleshooting your obscure issue

[tardytothesimspardy]

Back Again

After only a month

For the record, Demi and Shawna are very much in love and like being together, no matter what those dumb fear blurbs keep saying.

Anyway, I've been working to have Demi graduate so that I don't have to continue playing through the least interesting aspects of university, and I'm glad to say that she's graduated!! She finished all the schooling, has a degree, and can get a job where she is immediately boosted to level 8 right off the bat.

But not before trying to nudge her position in the spirit club by getting at the dumb Dragons,

and then trying to make a robot and almost dying.

While that was happening, I decided to try to give more of a focus on Eva and Ali, since they are both carriers of the short end of the stick (they fight over it). Ali is increasing her computing knowledge by learning to hack things, simply modding games isn't enough for her anymore. She doesn't bother changing her grades, a C is fine, right? Besides, she wouldn't get 100 smackaroonies from cheating her grades.

She tries to brag about it to her family, but she's really the one computer-savvy person. Things are somehow less impressive when you have to elaborate so much.

So far, both Ali and Eva have one friend each, who are not connected to the Brokes in any fashion, and that's okay with me. Ali usually facetimes her friend, but Eva's friend tends to come with her after school.

Oh yeah, side note, I gave Ali a bit of a makeover, I felt like she looked too,,, old? She feels a little bit more like a teenager to me now. Eva also got a makeover.

Slight reason for concern, because it seems that someone is out to get the Landgraab's, after Ashlee (Shawna's sister) and Eva (Shawna's step-mother) are killed in quick succession. Fortunately, Shawna doesn't have the name or fortune of the Landgraab's, only the face of one. And that's not a crime.

After hearing news of Ashlee's death, Shawna visited the Landgraab mansion, and met her brother, Nick Landgraab.

He has an unfortunate hairline.

Around the same time, Demi's final term of school was coming to a close, and she was really stressed about it.

I had her go to an office hours for one of the classes, and it said that she would fail it if she didn't shape up (which was concerning for multiple reasons), so I had her use the research machine that Shawna has for work, and it seems like it did something, because she didn't get anything below a B for her final grades!

After she got her final grade, she took herself out on the town, and worked on her comedy (definitely needed some work).

The next day was her graduation ceremony, where, like Shawna before her, she celebrated with people she did not know at all, went into a rabbit hole, and is officially done with school! Hooray for Demi!!

[nexusnox]

Assassin

BASICS

Name; Alexis Daher Species; Human, at first (Arabic) Age; 800+ Gender; Male, he/him Sexuality; Demiromantic bisexual Spouse; Mal Riviere, they/them Callsign/Alias; "Alerio"

Please note; the backstory will contain spoilers for several of the games.

-

APPEARANCE

Physical Basics; Tan skin, olive green eyes that gleam golden when he uses the Sight, and slightly curly jet-black hair worn fairly short. He only really combs his hair if he's in disguise, and that plus wearing a hood all the time means it's incredibly messy. He's short, 5'5", and lean to average. He has a parkourist's build, and he's missing his left ring finger. Tattoos/Scars; He has far too many scars to list, but the ones that matter are; nasty scarring all down his back, from his right shoulder to his left hip, from the fall that killed him the first time; and a particularly bad one just above his right knee that gives him a slight, perpetual limp. These two are the worst, but there's also one that rakes over his left eye, a splash of burn scarring over his right hip, a smattering of whipping scars across the few areas of his back devoid of scars from the cliff, and what's very visibly scars from a bite mark on his right forearm. I'm disregarding the numerous bullet and knife scars. In terms of tattoos, he has a bird over his heart, a soaring eagle done in crosshatching. Posture; After so many years of living as an Assassin, Alex is very, very good at making himself into whatever he needs to be, including his posture, the way he talks, and his apparent personality. The thing he can't change is the way he moves; always a little too quiet, a little too smooth, absolutely sure of himself and where he's stepping. Like a wolf or a big cat.

ATTITUDE

Personality; When he's not pretending to be someone else, Alex is mostly just tired. He is so tired and done with literally everything. He's also an incredibly grumpy bastard, because seeing the worst of the world most of the time will do that to you. However, he always has a kind word for children, and he's genuinely kind, even if he's very gruff about expressing it. If he's relaxed and he likes you enough, you might even get a genuine smile. On the other hand, if he's angry, he gets very quiet and cold. He's ruthlessly protective of those he considers to be his responsibility. Likes; He likes being left alone and the quiet. He's fond of anything that reminds him of places and people he's left behind, and he has a certain affection for deserts and roofs with red tiles. He likes libraries, birds, and the night sky. And, of course, knives. Dislikes; He absolutely loathes gods, politicians, and generally those who feel entitled to other people's respect without doing a damn thing to earn it. He doesn't much like people in general, honestly. He also dislikes loud environments and absolutely hates the cold. Strengths; Anything to do with stealth, deception, or misdirection. He can climb just about anything, even things that really seem like they should not be climbable. He's also very good at thinking clearly under pressure. Weaknesses; Anything to do with interpersonal skills. Sure, he can fake it well, but he is so bad at people. He also has an unfortunate self-sacrificial streak, in that he knows he can survive more than most people (and technically survive anything, if one counts 'dying and coming back' as surviving) and so he's fairly easily baited into traps if he thinks it'll protect someone else. More physically, his bad leg acts up the colder his environment, worsening his limp, which slows him down and reveals an obvious weak point. Motivations; He's motivated by his Creed, primarily, but he's also motivated by a deep hatred for Isu and everything they've built. He considers them a curse, and wants to find a way to destroy all the Pieces of Eden- or, failing that, collect all of them and hide them away from the world.

KIT

Dress; He's worn a lot of things across the centuries, but his modern ensemble is fairly simple; dark grey jeans, dark brown combat boots, dark brown fingerless gloves, a black tank top and a white overcoat with a pointed hood. He also has a red scarf he wears in colder environments. More casually, he prefers a loose t-shirt, sweat pants, and converse, all in neutral colors. Weapons/Tools; Given what he does, he carries a large variety of equipment on his person, everything from lockpicks to throwing knives to an extendable crowbar and a length of rope. Most are kept in various hidden pickets, but he keeps the crowbar and a swiss army knife on his belt. He also carries a gun, but he dislikes using it. And, of course, he has his hidden blade on his left arm. He used to wear two, but replaced the one on his right with a grappling-hook launcher when buildings started getting too far apart to jump across. Skills; Again, anything to do with stealth, deception, or misdirection. Also, thievery and parkour. He's become fairly adept at wilderness survival, finessing government information databases, and forging various documents. He's relatively new to hacking, but is picking it up quickly.

BACKSTORY This is so long. I apologize in advance.

He was born in Masyaf, the year of 1163. Like most children born there, he was raised and trained to be an Assassin, and advanced quickly through his training.

He was on track to become a Master Assassin the year of 1191, at 28 years old, when Al Mualim used the Apple to try and control all the Assassins in Masyaf. This resulted in Alex's first death, as he fought the effects of the Apple, and the activation of his previously dormant Isu heritage. -> This is why Alex looks perpetually like a very tired 28 year old.

Altaïr, once he assumed the role of Mentor, granted Alex the title of Master Assassin.

Alex stayed with Masyaf for several more years, until Altaïr's death in 1257, after which Alex had nothing left tethering him to that place, and so he wandered.

He traveled through Turkey and Greece, eventually arriving in Italy in 1451. Those nearly two hundred years of traveling were very rough, as Alex learned the limits and benefits of his new abilities.

Though Alex was in a pretty rough state by the time he reached Italy, he met Giovanni Auditore by chance, who helped him out. This is why Alex stayed to help Ezio even after Giovanni's death; he felt he had to repay that debt of kindness, even though Alex was Giovanni's friend and didn't know Ezio all that well yet.

Alex and Ezio only really started bonding by the time of Brotherhood, when Alex could finally get it through his head that Ezio'd come into his own and grown past just being 'Giovanni's son'. Alex really came to respect Ezio as a Mentor and as a friend.

Despite this, when Ezio gets ready to travel to Masyaf, Alex says his goodbyes and leaves, because he can't bear to go back to Masyaf again. This takes place around 1511.

Once more traveling, he journeyed through France, Spain, and Morocco, eventually ending up on a ship bound for the West Indies around 1712.

Shortly after arriving, Alex encountered a ship carrying slaves, and rather objected to that by murdering the captain, then helping the slaves break their chains and take over the ship. There was some awkwardness at first, both parties side-stepping around each other, until Alex made it clear that he had no desire to be a Captain or in command at all, that this ship was theirs, not his. After that, things were a lot more comfortable, and they offered him a place aboard her so long as he was in the West Indies. -> They also asked him to name her, and he chose Huriya, feeling it apt. Any vehicle he owns after, he also calls Huriya, in memory.

The Huriya became a rather infamous pirate ship around the West Indies, sailing the seas and freeing slaves wherever they could. This was how Alex met Adewale, and, later, Edward Kenway, somewhere around 1715.

Alex and Edward did not get along at first, and it was only Adewale vouching for him that kept Alex from killing Edward outright. Later, however, they did develop a mutual respect, though it never really developed into a friendship. Later still, this mutual respect would keep Alex from killing Edward's son, Haytham Kenway.

By 1754, the Huriya had traveled far and wide, becoming something of a seafaring legend, but Alex had grown tired of life at sea, and so she and her crew dropped him off in Boston.

Alex and Haytham met here, which was very tense but did eventually lead to a rather productive conversation that had them forming a very reluctant and begrudging mutual respect. -> This was also where Alex started unlearning his black-and-white worldview, and what prompted him to reevaluate his principles.

Eventually, that mutual respect grew into an actual friendship, if a rather unconventional one that involved occasional attempted murder and weapon theft.

Connor threw a wrench into things, a bit. On one hand, Connor's presence was a way to start reviving the Colonial Brotherhood, but on the other hand, Alex was friends with a Templar... and Connor's father. That complicated the situation. -> Alex is the reason Haytham knew he had a son.

At first, things seemed to be going well, and Alex started to hope for an alliance between Assassins and Templars, or at the very least a more long-term truce, a pause or even an end to the ancient war. When that started falling apart, Alex started to crumble with it.

With Haytham's death in 1781, Alex- having lost faith in himself, his beliefs, and his Creed- left America entirely, ending up back in France just in time to get caught up in another Revolution, in 1789.

Through watching Arno Dorian's journey to Mastery, Alex gradually regained his confidence and sense of self, and over time the two formed a casual friendship. They'd started to drift apart by the time Arno arrived in Saint Denis in 1794, however, and after an explosive fight over what to do about the Apple, Alex left again. -> This was about where Alex started to realize the dangerous draw that Pieces of Eden could have on him.

As had become a habit when trying to reorient himself after being metaphorically beat over the head with a worldview adjustment, he went traveling, this time up through England and Scotland, over to Ireland, and then back around to England, arriving in London in 1868.

Inevitably, he met the Frye twins, and he followed them as they crashed through London like a tidal wave. As he became closer with them, he began to regain his drive to live. -> He ended up teaching them a lot of what he knew, which was where he discovered a new reason to keep going; mentoring.

He left again as things started going bad, unable to bear what he'd built for himself collapsing around him again, and left London in 1888 to travel back to America.

He kicked around America and Mexico during the last days of the Wild West, and when he started realizing that another era was dying, he was tempted to run again... but he was tired of running, and he made a promise instead; no more leaving.

So he stayed in the Americas, watching them grow and change, training new Novices and doing his best to be true to his calling and himself.

In 2012, he could feel the Temple activating, and he traveled there just in time to offer to take Desmond's place using the Eye. Desmond, who knew Alex from seeing him in his ancestor's memories, agreed.

Alex assumed that using the Eye would finally kill him for good, and he could think of no better way to go out than protecting others. He had hoped he could finally rest and be reunited with those he had left behind in what comes after.

As we know, though, nothing ever really works out how you expect.

As for what happens next... who knows?

[cyberbenb]

Investigation: EU inability to ramp up production behind acute ammunition shortages in Ukraine

Editor’s note: This investigation is a collaboration between the Kyiv Independent and partners, including The Investigative Desk, Lighthouse Reports, and Follow the Money (Netherlands), El Diario (Spain), Delfi (Estonia), and Libération (France).

Key findings:

Over a year into Russia’s full-scale war, neither Ukraine nor the EU has implemented any solid plans for ammunition production ramp-up

EU member states' governments hardly sign any long-term contracts with producers, while the “wait-and-see” arms industry is reluctant to take financial risks

Ukraine’s arms makers also complain about a lack of state support yet scale up production under existing capacities anyway

Ukraine uses from 3-10 times (depending on the intensity of fighting) less ammunition than Russia does, but its ammunition expenditure is still several times higher than Europe’s production rates

National protectionism of member states and the bureaucracy of the EU prevented rapid decision-making to tackle ammunition shortages

The lack of unified ammunition types in the EU forces soldiers on the front line to alter their ammunition and adapt weapons, which can delay or jeopardize operations

As Ukraine was throwing all its forces into counteroffensive operations in northeastern Kharkiv and southern Kherson oblasts last fall, soldiers defending the eastern front struggled with ammunition shortages.

When long-anticipated military aid arrived at one brigade stationed in Ukraine’s eastern Donbas front, the soldiers were over the moon. But disappointment soon followed when they realized that the supplied ammunition was useless: The Finnish 120mm mortar bombs wouldn’t fit into the Italian Mod. 63 mortar, despite them being of the same caliber.  

Taras, the commander of the brigade’s mortar battery, was tasked to find a way out of the situation. Ten people used grinders to manually trim all eight tail fins on each mortar bomb to fit the Italian mortar. There were 400 bombs to trim.

“My infantry was relying on me. At the time when we received these bombs, we had nothing else from the brigade artillery left,” said Taras, who doesn’t reveal his full name due to fear of retaliation for publicly complaining about the supplies.

Taras’s story points to two major issues the Ukrainian military has been facing.

One is the lack of consistency of arms across the European Union. Ammunition from various producers of the same caliber differs to the extent that soldiers call it a “zoo” for how messy it is.

Since Ukraine gets arms from various countries and suppliers, it creates ammunition chaos and affects the performance of the military: Soldiers have to make time to weigh incoming munitions and manually grind them to fit their launchers, which can get in the way of military missions.  

The second problem is a shortage of ammunition on the front lines. Austerity forces Ukraine to save up munitions while defending or building up for an attack by giving soldiers less than usual, multiple high-level sources close to Ukraine’s military leadership told the Kyiv Independent.

Ukraine’s ongoing counteroffensive started later than planned due to weapons supply delays, President Volodymyr Zelensky told CNN on July 5.

Russia is steps ahead of Ukraine in ammunition capacities. According to Ukrainian military and government sources, Russia can fire up to 10 times as much ammunition as Ukraine does during high-intensity fighting. On average, Russia fires 60,000 rounds of ammunition at Ukraine a day, whereas Ukraine fires 20,000, according to Ukrainian officials' public comments and off-the-record conversations with them.

While Russia makes use of its large stock of ammunition, both Ukraine and the EU have so far failed to scale up ammunition production to meet battlefield demands.

The Kyiv Independent and its partners spoke with dozens of insiders, arms producers, diplomats, the Ukrainian government and military sources, and soldiers on the front line.

This cross-border investigation found that national protectionism, misjudgment, and indecisiveness among EU countries have obstructed the bloc from finding a swift and collective approach to tackling ammunition shortages which had a direct impact on Ukraine’s performance on the battlefield. Both governments and their defense industries have proved reluctant to take risks investing in arms production, including jointly with Ukraine.

Ukraine’s own defense industry started producing ammunition only about two months into Russia’s full-scale war.

And it faces similar problems to those of the EU: it’s too slow, the government and the industry blame each other for failing to take the lead in scaling up production, and a strategy for future ammunition programs is still a work in progress.

While Ukraine and the West fail to produce more, Russia is trying to disrupt Ukraine’s production and destroy what it already has in stock by targeting ammunition depots.

The inability of officials, both domestically and internationally, to ensure Ukraine has enough arms and ammunition leaves the soldiers on the ground with an impossible task: meeting the world’s high expectations of Ukraine’s counteroffensive without the means to do so.

Caught by surprise

The fact that ammunition would eventually run out in the EU warehouses has been self-evident to anyone paying attention from day one of the full-scale invasion, according to officials and experts the Kyiv Independent spoke to.

Ukraine, a country that inherited most of its arms from the Soviet Union, had ammunition of calibers most NATO countries didn’t have. Some Eastern European countries had Soviet-style munition but in limited volumes.

Ukraine’s own stocks were only enough for up to about a month of active fighting, according to multiple top-level sources in Ukraine’s Defense Ministry and Armed Forces. They claim to have informed Western allies about the state of things as early as day one of the full-scale invasion.

Once comprehensive, Ukraine’s stocks had dried up due to a series of explosions in ammunition depots between 2014 to 2018 in Ukraine, as well as the Czech Republic and Bulgaria, countries Ukraine bought Soviet-style ammunition from. The Czech government has openly blamed the explosions on Russia. Ukraine’s State Security Service and Prosecutor General’s Office have investigated the blasts in Ukraine in connection with sabotage, murder, terrorism, and military service negligence. None of the investigations have resulted in convictions yet.

In Ukraine alone, around 210,000 tons of ammunition were destroyed in the attacks – that’s three times as much as the country had used defending itself against Russia’s war in the Donbas and on military training combined in 2014-2018, according to the Royal United Services Institute (RUSI) think tank. It’s unclear whether any of the lost ammunition was replenished, or how much was rescued.

Ukraine tried to launch the production of artillery ammunition in 2018, four years into the war in the Donbas. That attempt failed, due to suspected corruption.

Back then, Bezpeka, a state enterprise then operating under the Economy Ministry, was tasked with buying ammunition production equipment for state factories. It sought to buy equipment for Ukroboronprom, Ukraine’s state-owned arms manufacturer, recently rebranded as Ukrainian Defense Industry as part of corporate reform. The equipment would allow Ukroboronprom to start producing 152mm shells.

Bezpeka ordered the equipment from an American contractor, Gray Fox Logistics, that never delivered the order. Ukraine won arbitration against the company in 2020 and is yet to receive the $8.3 million it prepaid for the order – but it lost valuable time. Law enforcement opened a probe into the head of Bezpeka, alleging he and a deputy economy minister plotted to give the contract to the U.S. company while knowing it couldn’t deliver the equipment. Bezpeka’s head is suspected of treason, abuse of office, and theft.

While waiting for the American equipment, in 2018, Ukraine ordered 152mm shells from a Ukrainian private company Rubin. It delivered low-quality products, which weren’t approved by the Defense Ministry. These were Ukraine’s only attempts to launch mass production of ammunition before the 2022 invasion.

So when Russia started its all-out war, Ukraine didn’t have reliable ammunition production pipelines and had little left in stock.

Meanwhile, the closest possible sources of ammunition – the EU and the UK – were also short on it.

After years of defense budget cuts and a strategy of keeping ammunition stocks low ever since the Cold War, the EU had little to offer.

According to Admiral Rob Bauer, chairman of the NATO military committee, he told member states' foreign ministers in mid-March 2022: “We deliver from half-empty warehouses. You have to refill it very quickly.”

“NATO won’t be able to provide Ukraine with lasting support if the war goes on for long,” he recalled saying back then.

Officials and experts in the United Kingdom and Germany later admitted that their own countries only had enough ammunition to last for mere days of high-intensity fighting.

Reluctant to start helping

The West did not rush to start sending arms to Ukraine to help repel Russian aggression. It took days for politicians to decide and weeks to deliver the first batches of Soviet-style military aid to Ukraine, according to diplomats and military sources.

There were a few reasons for the delays.

One was the fear that Ukraine would quickly fall and the arms and ammunition provided by the West would end up in Russian hands, said two high-level Ukrainian diplomatic sources.

Additionally, they said, the EU was scared that Russia would see Europe as a party to the conflict.

“That’s why they didn’t want to help us for a very long time, despite the fact that Russia immediately accused the West of being a party to the war,” according to another source close to Ukraine’s Defense Ministry.

The EU defense industry proved to be more farsighted than politicians.

Nexter, a French munitions company, claims to have bought a few hundred tons of gunpowder a few days after the full-scale Russian invasion.

“We were in constant talks with the French government, especially with its Defense Ministry, which was well aware that the need for ammunition would increase,” said Gabriel Massoni, a spokesperson for Nexter.

According to NAMMO, a Norwegian-Finnish munitions company, it bought extra raw materials days after the invasion. They also claim to have alerted authorities how difficult scaling up production quickly would be, given supply chain issues caused by the Covid-19 pandemic. The company got its first ammunition production contract only about a year later.

Camille Grand, who served as NATO’s assistant secretary general for defense investment until November 2022, said: “We were under the impression that the war would not last long."

Taking a lifetime to act

Even upon realizing the scale of ammunition shortages, the leadership of the EU and its member states proved to be slow in tackling them.

At the first Ramstein summit, a Ukraine-focused meeting of allied countries at an air base in Germany, on April 26, 2022, the allies decided to give the first big batch of weapons to Ukraine.

“It was very tough before the Ramstein talks, and only after did it start moving at least in some direction, and we started receiving the first pieces of (U.S.-made and provided) M777 and M119 howitzers, which came in together with ammunition,” a Ukrainian military source said.

However, it is not known whether the looming ammunition shortage was addressed at the summit.

The first notable attempt to find a solution came two days later, at NATO’s semi-annual meeting of national armaments directors. There, some member states, for the first time, aired concerns that ammunition stocks could run out, according to Grand, a former top NATO official.

Around that time, it finally became clear to Western leaders that modern warfare still requires high volumes of ammunition despite advances in military technology, according to a source close to Ukraine’s Defense Ministry. “That was a shock to them,” he said.

EU unable to keep up

Soon after the start of the invasion, it became obvious that Ukraine was using ammunition much faster than EU countries were able to produce it.

According to the Kyiv Independent’s calculations based on publicly available information and sources, Ukraine is using at least five times as much ammunition as the EU members are able to produce. By mid-April, it became clear that the European defense industry could not keep up with Ukraine’s growing battlefield demands.

Meanwhile, the demand on the international ammunition market was growing as EU member states rushed to buy ammunition to replenish their emptied stocks.

This led to longer delivery times and rapidly rising prices. It also made Ukraine compete for ammunition and industrial materials like gunpowder on the European market.

“The current peak capacity of the ammunition-producing industry will probably be reached soon,” Dutch Defense Minister Kajsa Ollongren wrote to the House of Representatives on April 29, 2022.

On Sept. 27, 2022, arms producers were, for the first time, invited to meet arms buyers at NATO’s headquarters.

Jens Stoltenberg, NATO Secretary General, participates in a meeting of the Group of the Progressive Alliance of Socialists & Democrats in the European Parliament, on Sept. 27, 2022. (Credit: NATO)

“This war could go on for a long time,” NATO Chief Jens Stoltenberg told the audience. “That is why we must be prepared to continue to support Ukraine for the long term. That is why we also need to increase production."

The meeting took place seven months into the full-scale war, in the middle of Ukraine’s attempt to push Russians back from Kherson Oblast and following the successful counteroffensive in Kharkiv Oblast.

By September, ammunition stocks in Ukraine were rapidly coming to an end. At that time, Ukraine’s mortars and artillery fired two rounds for each 100 shots by Russia, according to a high-level source in the army.

And yet, there was still no political solution among EU member states to ammunition shortages.

The November inventory of the ammunition stocks of NATO countries found shortages in 155mm and 120mm calibers – the two most-used ones on the battlefield in Ukraine. It also revealed chaos in the member states' warehouses.

“Some member states had no idea how much stock they had and had to count it manually,” said an official who was involved in the inventory.

Forced to save up ammunition

Artillerymen in Ukraine say they have to use their artillery like sniper rifles, firing precisely at targets, instead of as intended – with sustained barrage artillery fire that can hit multiple targets at once.

“It is normal to attack a group of enemy infantry with 15 to 20 shells. But if we do it this way, we won’t have any ammunition to strike the next group,” said an artilleryman with the callsign Haiduk. He operates a Soviet-era D-30 howitzer, which uses 122mm shells, the ones both the West and Russia are chasing after around the world.

Multiple soldiers told the Kyiv Independent they receive up to 15 shells a day when they are in defense, which is only enough to effectively repel one Russian attack.

In their turn, NATO officials believe Ukrainian soldiers use up way too much ammunition by operating new, modern, and precise artillery in an old-fashioned manner, a source in Ukraine’s Ministry of Defense said.

NATO artillery is indeed more precise than the Soviet ones, which is supposed to save up a fair portion of ammunition. However, Western weapons constitute only around 30% of Ukraine’s arms, according to Ukroboronprom’s spokesperson, while the biggest shortages are experienced with Soviet-style calibers.

A Ukrainian serviceman carries a Soviet-style 152 mm shell to fire a Msta-B howitzer towards Russian positions near the frontline town of Bakhmut on March 2, 2023, amid the Russian invasion of Ukraine. (Photo by Dimitar Dilkoff/Getty Images)

Soldiers on the ground say they can’t spend less ammunition. One reason is that Western arms often arrive in Ukraine without automatic fire control systems, sights, or navigation, which could save up to around 20% of ammunition, according to the Kyiv Independent’s soldier, volunteer, and expert sources.

“We receive weapons without access to technology,” said Daria Kaleniuk, co-founder of Anti-Corruption Action Center (AntAC), which, since Russia’s full-scale invasion, has also been advocating for arms supplies. “They are very much afraid that these technologies will be received by the enemy, that we won’t protect them."

Western ammunition also often comes with temporary shooting tables or none at all, which means soldiers have to do the math themselves. Moreover, the weight indicated on ammunition is often incorrect, which is why soldiers are forced to weigh munitions themselves.

Taras, a mortar battery commander, bought industrial scales and started a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet to calculate the ammunition’s trajectory.

“I will be frank, here on the front line, we don’t have much time for these kinds of things,” he said.

Yet they have to make time for calculations. Otherwise, soldiers risk hitting their own infantry when supporting their advances.

A ‘zoo’

The fragmented standards in the EU in arms and ammunition make soldiers struggle to navigate through dozens of ammunition types.

EU ammunition and arms are often not compatible: A 155mm shell for a German howitzer won’t fit the Italian launcher of the same caliber, for instance.

Europe produces a total of around 170 different weapon systems, from aircraft to air defense, according to Admiral Bauer, chairman of the NATO military committee. There are 16 different 155mm shells in Europe alone.

Ukraine receives ammunition from everywhere, and it’s extremely difficult to navigate through it, soldiers say, calling the wide range of ammunition a “zoo.”

Mortar battery commander Taras says he has so far received 30 types of 120mm caliber ammunition: “They all differ in their tactical and technical characteristics.”

Once the soldiers run out of one type of ammunition, they have to change the settings for their mortars and artillery every time they receive a new batch of munitions, which causes delays or disruptions in military operations.

“I wish it was more or less unified and systematized,” Taras said.

EU members' self-centrism

EU member states' fixation on protecting their national interests has also gotten in the way of Ukraine getting prompt ammunition supplies.

When NATO initiated inventories, some countries were reluctant to share information about their ammunition stockpiles. Political and diplomatic sources said that one reason was the low level of trust in certain fellow member states and failure to meet ammunition stock benchmarks set by NATO – something they allegedly didn’t want to reveal.

Some countries also prioritized making shells for themselves, rather than for Ukraine, according to a diplomat source.

Shells are stored at the workshop of the “Forges de Tarbes,” which produces 155mm shells, the munition for French Caesar artillery, in Tarbes, southwestern France, on April 4, 2023. Caesar self-propelled howitzers are being actively used on Ukraine’s frontline. (Photo by Lionel Bonaventure/Getty Images)

One good example is France.

In June 2022, four months into the full-scale war, French President Emmanuel Macron ordered his country’s defense industry to increase production – but not for Ukraine’s benefit. The move was mainly intended to shore up French stockpiles, said a French diplomat who spoke on condition of anonymity.

“France’s policy is similar to that of the Americans. First, we take care of our own supplies, then we help others,” he said.

What also didn’t help the joint EU effort is that each state protects and promotes its own arms companies, which are often fully or partially state-owned.

In mid-February, Estonia’s leadership lost their patience.

Four officials locked themselves in the Defense Ministry and didn’t leave for a couple of days until they had come up with a proposed solution: EU members should jointly purchase ammunition, like they did with vaccines during the coronavirus pandemic.

“If we hadn’t come up with this idea, Ukraine would have run out of ammunition,” said policy director of the Estonian Defense Ministry, Tuuli Duneton, a co-author of the plan.

Based on the Estonian pitch, the European Commission drew up a three-step plan. First, give Ukraine 1 billion euros in ammunition from their current stocks. Then, jointly purchase ammunition for Ukraine worth another 1 billion euros. And finally, pump up industries with investments to produce 1 million rounds of ammunition within a year.

On March 20, more than a month and a half later, the EU set the plan in motion. A larger flow of ammunition to Ukraine seemed within reach.

“And then nothing happened,” said Nico Lange, a former official with the German Defense Ministry.

France wanted to keep the money within the EU and only buy locally. It would have been a reasonable approach in peace time, said a source in Ukraine’s arms industry, but not in wartime.

“The war is here and now. A soldier doesn’t care…he needs a shell,” he said.

Germany, Poland, the Netherlands, and the Baltic States disagreed with France and were ready to buy from wherever they could get it the quickest.

In early May, Europe finally reached a compromise: Ammunition must be bought collectively from producers in the EU or Norway, but may also come from elsewhere.

On July 7, after two months of negotiations, the EU decided to invest an additional 500 million euros to boost European ammunition production capacity.

This should help the European industry produce 1 million shells by March 2024, according to the EU's Internal Market Commissioner Thierry Breton. That also won't be enough – in March, Ukraine's defense minister asked the allies to provide at least 250,000 artillery shells per month to aid critical shortages.

Though approved, the plan is facing backlash. According to a diplomat who spoke on condition of anonymity, most member states are against it as they see it as an attempt to transfer the members' national defense competence to Brussels.

EU industry’s outcry

Governments aren't the only ones who aren't happy.

European munitions makers refuse to scale up production without state guarantees. They say they are afraid to have to shrink back if the war ends soon. Thus, they demand 10-year-long contracts – something officials are reluctant to give.

According to annual reports of arms giants NAMMO, Rheinmetall, Saab, and MBDA, they invested hundreds of millions of euros in 2022. They mostly spent it on improving their capacity: buying more raw materials, machine maintenance, and hiring new staff.

The German arms producer Rheinmetall moved to expand its capacity and build new production facilities, according to a spokesperson.

But most companies claim that to build new production lines and factories, they need long-term contracts with their governments.

"The industry can't pay for it all, then there's no profit left over. We can't produce on the speculation that somebody will buy it," said Morten Brandtzaeg, the director of NAMMO.

The reasons why EU member states are reluctant to sign long-term contracts vary from the unwillingness to increase military spending to the belief that the governments are already helping the industry enough, to the yearly nature of state budgets that make it difficult to make longer-term deals.

"This is a failure of policy, leadership, and will, more than anything else," said General Richard Barrons, a retired British Army officer, criticizing European politicians' ability to mobilize the industry.

"They do not feel like they are at war. They are just working in the bureaucratic machine," Andriy Zagorodnyuk, defense minister of Ukraine in 2019-2020, told the Kyiv Independent.

Ukraine’s industry struggle

The problems Ukraine's arms industry faces are similar to those in the West, but combined with the risk of Russian air strikes that target defense industry sites.

Several Ukrainian state and private companies managed to launch mass ammunition production around April 2022 and then scale it up. But it wasn't due to a centralized effort from the government.

There were no ammunition procurement contracts with the state ahead of the launch, said Vladyslav Belbas, director of private company Ukrainian Armor, which produces 60mm mortar bombs. A source in Ukraine's state-owned arms manufacturer confirms it: "It was our own initiative to start production."

​​Due to the regulations imposed by martial law, the Kyiv Independent can't reveal the exact number of rounds of ammunition produced by Ukraine monthly. It covers less than 15% of what Ukraine's Defense Ministry claims the country needs to meet its battlefield needs.

"Do we meet the needs of the Armed Forces? Of course not. Because it is impossible to launch from scratch and immediately deliver the amount needed by the military," a source in one of Ukraine's arms producers said.

Ukrainian soldiers of the 80th brigade fire artillery in the direction of Russian positions in the temporarily occupied Bakhmut in Donetsk Oblast on April 13, 2023. (Photo by Diego Herrera Carcedo/Getty Images)

Ukrainian ammunition producers, both state-owned and private, told the Kyiv Independent they want at least three-year-long contracts to ramp up production. Their current contracts last until the end of the year.

The Defense Ministry hasn't replied to the Kyiv Independent's request for comments for this story as of publication time.

In October, Ukrainian Defense Industry (former Ukroboronprom), together with private producers, anti-corruption NGOs, and analytical centers, drafted a law on prioritizing the defense industry.

Among other things, it creates preferential bank loans and state subsidies, government investment into renovation and modernization projects, tax and customs benefits, and cancellation of debts and fines, according to the draft document seen by the Kyiv Independent. The bill is under consideration by the parliamentary committee on national security.

As part of the bill, the industry wants the Defense Ministry to prioritize buying locally-produced ammunition over importing from abroad. Currently, even the small amounts of ammunition produced domestically sometimes end up sitting in storage waiting to be delivered to the battlefield – often due to poorly organized procurement and logistics, according to the Kyiv Independent's sources in the industry.

Production revival

Both Ukraine's state-owned and private enterprises are working around the clock to try and meet the military's demands.

State-owned Ukrainian Defense Industry is seeking alliances with European companies to produce ammunition jointly. Some firms did jump in, but their input is very limited, according to a high-profile source in Ukraine's government.

To scale up ammunition production quicker, Ukrainian Defense Industry is striving for full-fledged joint ventures with Western companies. In May, Rheinmetall announced plans to create a joint venture with Ukroboronprom and co-produce selected Rheinmetall products in Ukraine.

This idea, however, does not yet have broad support. Due to the ongoing war involving Russian targeted air strikes, investing in Ukraine is a high risk few companies are willing to take.

"We're not involved at all in moving any production or knowledge to Ukraine, and we have serious reservations about this mode of operation," said a spokesperson for Nexter.

Ukraine's state arms manufacturer has another idea: It wants the West to include equipment for ammunition production in military aid packages. Ukraine wants to use it for both its own and joint production with foreign partners.

"It's the eternal dispute between giving a man a fish or teaching a man to fish. Give him a fish, and he will always be hungry," said a source in the Ukrainian Defense Industry.

Even if Ukraine gets the equipment it asks for, the source said it won't arrive until at least next summer since it takes substantial time to produce it.

Meanwhile, mortar battery commanders like Taras need ammunition here and now.

This project was supported by a grant from the Investigative Journalism for Europe (IJ4EU) fund.

Note from the author:

Hi there! It's Anna Myroniuk, the author of this story.

Together with colleagues from Estonia, Netherlands, France, and other countries, we have spent a few months looking into the causes of ammunition shortages in Ukraine. We found that the European Union's inability to ramp up ammunition production dramatically affects Ukraine's performance on the battlefield.

We have been digging into one of the world's most regulated and secretive industries to answer the question: Why, despite all efforts to tackle ammunition shortages one year into the full-scale war, there are still no working solutions?

I hope this story provided you with insights into where the interests of the EU's leadership, its member states, and their industries lie, how they clash, and what can be done to fix problems and make it work for the sake of both Ukraine and the West. If you like this piece, please consider supporting the Kyiv Independent.

[full-of-malice]

for those who might need a screen readers or cannot access the images here's the text from each image

image description [First off, Sarah’s handling of ML issues have always been poor. Toxic MLs were left unchecked. As a mentor I had several mentees who were being bullied and abused by their co-MLs. As did other mentors. When we urged them to contact Sarah, when we warned her ourselves, the bullied MLs were told to get along or ignore it. “Mediation” happened that boiled down to “just play nice everyone”. The abusive MLs were allowed to stay, no consequences, no oversight. Often ending in passionate hard working MLs dropping out because they could no longer take it. Leaving the bullies in their place.

At least twice I had wrimos contact me about their region being run into the ground. When I put them in touch with Sarah, HQ’s answer was “just organise your own events and apply to be a co-ML for your region next year”. Co-ML. Not replacement ML. They were expected to work with someone who had proven to be unreasonable and tyrannical.

Mentors who pushed too hard for Sarah to step in got a verbal smack down and forevermore no longer got direct answers if it could be avoided or any reply would be underlined by hostility. Once more pushing good people to quit because they felt severely impacted by how HQ treated them.

Criticism of HQ and NaNo were not allowed. While the rules did not state MLs and mods could not have a dissenting opinion, that is how they were carried out. Mention any even mildly frustrated opinion on the forums at large and you would get a reprimand and your post deleted. Even on the ML forums behind closed doors it was barely allowed. Often meeting with ire and closed threads. Or direct orders to play nice or get out.

In fact in my entire time I was active. The only time an ML was depowered was if they directly insulted HQ or Sarah herself, often rather mildly I might add. MLs who were toxic, who were proven not to have even looked at their region all month were left to return the next year. But “insult” staff and you were out the door within the hour. Either with no explanation to the rest of us or with the cookie cutter “we decided they were no longer suited to the task”. With a very clear unspoken vibe of, if you are seen defending them you could be next.

IF YOU READ NOTHING OF THIS POST, READ THIS. Lastly I’ll go into the mentioned PR nightmare. TW for terrorism and bombings. If either of those topics upset you please skip the next bit. For everyone else

The Ivan the Icy incident. In 2017 the staff decided to roll out an in-office game they had apparently played amongst themselves to the wider public.

This game was a treasure hunt type activity, where one had to stop a terrorist called Ivan the Icy from blowing up NaNo and the world.

This hunt included a now removed video of a very convincingly dressed man monologue at the camera about how he was going to bomb NaNo. So convincing in fact it took very long into the video before signs of it being fake emerged.

Several faked emails sent to you, in that same vein that eventually led to a hidden page on the site where you had to disarm a bomb. Failing to do so would make it explode. Granted, upon exploding it filled your screen with penguins, but until then it was far too realistic.

Some key points

This was not communicated to MLs prior to sending out. Nothing had been mentioned. If it had we could have told them why this was a bad idea. The game might work in office where everyone knows each other’s sensitivities and humour (although even then one can wonder why this topic), but on a global scale this is tone deaf at best.

MLs were the ones who raised the alarm and contacted HQ as quickly as we noticed. We had to explain in detail the potential ramifications, after which action was taken. We then helped NaNo cover this up. (Something I’ve often wondered if it was the right thing to do.)

Note that at this point we had already lost so much faith in HQ that we were actively brainstorming how we could potentially flag it to youtube and facebook to get the video taken down if HQ would not respond to us as they often didn’t.

. To explain just how tone deaf this game was.

The very convincing video was posted (not used) on 9/11.

This was the year after the bombing in Brussels during NaNo. Two years after the bombing and shootings in Paris that had the Parisian Wrimos stuck in a write-in near the bomb site and active shooters for hours. And the same year a bomb had been detonated in the Manchester arena.

After it was taken down, HQ barely offered an apology. The ML “apology” of which I have records, was one paragraph in an entire mail about donation day. There was also the offer to voice our feelings as MLs to HQ via video call. But the times offered were that very same evening. Meaning few could free up time on such short notice. Me and several others did, culminating in us offering to write them a comprehensive document with suggestions and ideas and point out problems.]

End image description

what a lovely day i bet everything on the nanowrimo forums has been resolved and there's no wild new information that's going to make me hate the staff even more...

[trigger warning on the last two images for bombing and terrorism]

here's some screenshots of brand new info and a testimony that came straight from the nanowrimo forums. this is only one part of the testimony. there is so much more.

each day the staff is revealed to be more and more corrupt. we're not gonna go down silently.

i'm going to spread the word as much as possible because everyone who has been part of nanowrimo deserves to know

[i will be updated this with text version for each image later, i'm currently unable to but i will later]

[redditnosleep]

P is for Prey

by kmcooney

Pretty prey, pretty pretty little prey

Welcome to How to Pick Your Prey: The Step By Step Instruction manual where you have the honor of learning from the master on how to, well, you read the title! But before we get into the nitty-gritty, let me introduce myself.

My name is Kate and I guess you could say that I have a peculiar hobby. You guessed it, baby! I absolutely adore killing people. Oh I crave the blood that seeps out of their veins, the air that escapes their lungs and that oh so charming way they beg for their lives (as if that has ever worked before). Especially with Darren, he sure loved to beg for help! Of course, he was my first “kill” but I guess I can’t really take too much credit for him considering he already had a knife sticking out of his chest by the time I met him.

I was a sixth grader just minding my own business when I stumbled upon Darren’s embarrassing pleas for help. He was SO loud and just SO pitiful. His squawking ruined an otherwise peaceful walk through the woods. As soon as he saw my little frame slide into view, I swear he shit himself from excitement.

“Please, please help me. I’ve been stabbed. My name is Darren…” he gurgled, struggling to get up.

He was making quite a mess. Blood everywhere, intestines poking out. Whoever stabbed him really did a number on him.

“Please go get help. Call your parents, the police, anyone. Please.”

But I didn’t call anyone. No sir. I just smiled and cocked my head to the side. His blood was darker than I thought it would be. It looked like oil—I wondered if it felt like it too…

“I need help…” the man said slowly. He must think I’m dumb. I’m not dumb.

My sneakers crunched over the fallen leaves, slick with blood. I was closer now; I could hear his lungs struggling for air. The stabber must have punctured a lung. Smart man. But he obviously didn’t do a good enough job.

I knelt before Darren and smiled. “Let me help,” I whispered.

Relief flooded his face right before the blood did. The knife was lighter than I had imagined, so easy to remove from the chest. And his neck, well his neck was thinner than paper—so easy to slice a neat line across. But I didn’t stay to feel the blood, no matter how much I wanted to. It would have gotten all over my jeans. And that would have made quite the mess.

It’s a shame Darren never got to see what I did to him. But you can see! Oh yes, you can see ;)

Step One: So you’ve decided to kill someone, that’s great! Trust me, it’s an awesome feeling. First things first, every hunter needs their territory, right? So find your territory, Simba.

Bars work the best. The dim lighting and the abundance of social lubricant usually make people trust strangers quicker than they normally would if, let’s say, you were at a park or somewhere normal humans go. The bar you pick should be seedy but not TOO seedy. Something right in the middle. A place that doesn’t have cameras, obviously.

Step Two: Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER pick the same bar twice. It doesn’t matter if you like the $2 draft special they have or if the chicken wings are simply to die for, you NEVER go to the same bar twice to pick your prey.

You may be recognized. You do not want to be recognized.

Step Three: Even though you don’t want to be recognized, you do want to look good. Put on a tight skirt, do your hair and paint your lips red. Look pretty, very pretty. Oh, and don’t forget to put the girls on display, they will be needed later.

Step Four: Ok, so you’re at the bar, you look hot as hell, now what? Well now it’s time to pick your prey! Set yourself up by a table by the back of the bar, somewhere where you can sit and wait. Grab yourself a drink (just one) and try to appear natural.

While you’re waiting, don’t read a book like a dumbass. Boys don’t like smart girls. They like to have the upper hand; they don’t like to be intimidated. So play on your phone like a good little girl. Personally, I enjoy reading this subreddit while I wait.

Step Five: Pretty prey, pretty pretty little prey. Who should you choose? Not the man surrounded by a group of friends, that’s for sure. You don’t want anyone to wonder where he has gone off to….or who he has gone off with.

How about one of the three men at the bar? Yes, yes they look all alone now don’t they? One of them will be perfect for you.

Pretty prey, pretty pretty little prey. Who should you choose? Not the fat, ugly one, that’s obvious. He would be easy, there is no doubt about that. He would simply adore the attention you give him, fawning over your every word and greedily eyeing your breasts with hunger. When you suggest taking him back to your place, he will eagerly follow like a little lap puppy. But he will be a bad lay. And he would be far too heavy to drag down the stairs later.

Pretty prey, pretty pretty little prey. Who should you choose? Not the handsome one, darling. It’s obvious you want the handsome one. And why wouldn’t you? He could make any girl’s panties drop to the floor with a simple wink, a caress of the arm. He would be a great fuck too; you wouldn’t even have to fake the grin spread across your face, the wetness between your thighs, the hungry moan escaping your lips. But you can’t have him, no matter how much you want him. His pretty little face would be splashed across the news the next day. Humans always mourn the attractive ones, always notice when they are missing. So you can’t have the handsome one. No, you can’t.

Pretty prey, pretty pretty little prey. Who should you choose? Ah, the one just right! Not too handsome, but not entirely unattractive either—right in the middle. He will appreciate your attention but he won’t embarrass himself fawning over you. He will have a typical office job (they always do), a typical life, a typical house, a typical dick.

He won’t be missed.

Step Six: Stalk your pretty little prey. Watch what he drinks, when he drinks, how he moves his hands. Watch him for 20 minutes—no longer, no less.

Step Seven: Looks like you finished your drink! It’s time to get a new one, yes? Head to the bar and squeeze in next to him, touching his shoulder lightly. He will notice you (they always do).

Step Eight: Grab the bartender’s attention but ignore your prey. Ask for a beer, a cheap one. Then lean back slightly, giving your prey the perfect chance to check you out. If he’s not already checking you out by now, adjust your bra strap. That usually gets the guys going.

Step Nine: Grab your beer and fumble for your wallet, making a big show about how you can’t seem to find the $2 you need for your beer. Look sheepish, embarrassed, like a damsel in distress. Your prey will notice, of course he will notice. And he will wave the bartender down and tell him that he’s got you covered like the little hero he is. Because, of course, he wants to talk to you. They always want to talk to you.

Step Ten: You oblige for one hour.

Step Eleven: Don’t shit where you eat! Meaning: don’t kill your prey at the bar. That would be downright silly (and messy). Also, don’t actually shit where you eat. That’s just disgusting. Where did that term even come from? People are sick.

Tell your prey that you should be leaving soon, that you have SUCH a busy day tomorrow but he’s really made your night enjoyable. Your prey will look disappointed; he thought he would be getting lucky tonight. That’s when you smile and ask him if he would like to head back to your place for a little nightcap. His face will light up, his dick will grow hard. You’ll leave hand in hand.

Step Twelve: Take him to your “apartment.” Though it’s not really your apartment, of course. It’s really your landlord’s apartment. But it’s ok, she won’t find out. Her body is buried in the backyard under those petunias she always loved so much.

Pretty prey, pretty pretty little prey. It’s almost time!

Step Thirteen: Lock the door behind you both and offer him a drink. He will say yes. Leave him in the living room while you fix two drinks. One will have a hefty dose of roofies (among other things). Don’t drink that one.

Step Fourteen: Make sure he has finished all of his drink, down to the last drop.

Step Fifteen: Seduce.

Step Sixteen: Undress.

Step Seventeen: Fuck him.

Step Eighteen: He will finish before the roofies kick in, if you’ve timed it right. He will try to get up now, try to leave. But you don’t let him. You will push him back on the bed. He will feel dizzy, he will feel guarded. He will be confused.

Pretty prey, pretty pretty little prey.

Step Nineteen: Enlighten the poor dumb bastard. Tell him that you are going to kill him. Watch as his laughter fades to fear when he realizes you are serious. Watch as he dimly struggles against the haze taking over. It’s pointless to struggle, it’s pointless to beg.

“Why are you doing this to me…” he whispers.

Don’t answer. You don’t owe him anything.

Step Twenty: Straddle your pretty prey and reach for the knife under your pillow. You prefer a long blade, something sharp. But you don’t want it to end it quickly. No, you like to take your time. You love the feeling of digging that blade into his flesh, hearing him moan in an entirely different way than you heard him moan before. Pleasure and pain, pleasure and pain. You love watching him struggle to move, to breathe. Skin is so easy to tear apart, especially the belly. Slice him like a fish, unravel his intestines, keep him alive long enough to wish he wasn’t.

Pretty prey, pretty pretty prey. Time to die.

Step Twenty-One: Oh my, what a mess! Your prey is a bloody puddle on your sheets. How rude. How messy. It’s time to clean.

Strip the bed, snatch your clothes, grab him (well, what’s left of him). Throw the clothes and the sheets into trash bag (good thing you have a spare change of clothes!) Wipe him down and wrap him in plastic, careful to tie up the loose ends. You don’t want any blood to get out! Wash your floors and dust anything that he touched. Take a shower, a long one. You earned it!

Step Twenty-Two: Time to dispose of the body! This is the fun part. Take your prey down to the basement. A tub of acid works well on pesky bodies. You can find anything on Amazon.

Step Twenty-Three: After an exhilarating night, don’t you think you deserve a little fresh air? Grab the trash bag full of the bloody clothes and sheets and head out. Oh, and don’t forget his phone. You’ll need that too.

Step Twenty-Four: Take the bag and the phone to your coworker’s house. Yes, the coworker who is just SO annoying. They never seem to shut up, do they? That’s why they make a great safety net—someone to blame. Bury the bag of bloody clothes deep in their backyard. Still on their property, of course, but far enough away so they won’t notice. Paul is never one to notice the obvious.

Step Twenty-Five: Remember that cell phone? Good girl! Take it out and go through your prey’s latest messages. Usually, there is at least one friend he has been texting unless he is some sort of loser. But you don’t choose losers, do you?

Shoot off a text that looks something like this: “Met this guy named Paul O’Connor at the bar. Dude said he had this sick TV for sale! Hoping to buy it off of him tonight. I’ll send pics!”

If the police ever find the phone, Paul looks mighty guilty. Serves him right for calling you “sweetie” at the company meeting.

Clean the phone. Turn it off. Throw it in the woods. Give Paul’s window the middle finger. Leave.

Step Twenty-Six: Pick your next prey ;)

[sumeru-academy]

Puppy love.

synopsis: they get jealous over a kid that has a crush on you.

character(s): ganyu, shenhe, eula. (separate)

warning(s): mild jealousy, cuteness, fluffiness, they love you so much <3

note(s): female reader (salmon are such respectable animals. they swim about 900 miles and climb nearly 7,000 feet upstream just so they could lay their eggs! isn’t that amazing?? i sure think so).

⎯⎯mod angel 🎐

GANYU

“Ganyu! My wife! My beautiful wife! I missed you!”

You grinned up at the building that your beloved Ganyu worked at for most of her days, and watched as her face exploded into a fiery crimson that rivaled even the strongest of pyro users. She smiled bashfully and timidly made her way down the stairs whilst covering her face in embarrassment. Taking slow, leisurely steps before inevitably failing to conceal her excitement and rushing down the last few in order to fly into your arms. 

“Y/N!”

Although not one for PDA, Ganyu was more than happy to indulge in your touch after a long day from work. Smothering her face into the crook of your neck while sighing, “I missed you too...” in a whisper that was quieter than a summer breeze itself.

“Let’s go home now, hm? It’s getting late and I don’t want you falling asleep mid-walk again...like last time.” Teasing her lightly with the flick of a finger, you watched your wife’s face burn pyro again before fizzling out like a fire extinguisher. “I...I am still sorry about that.” Your wife mumbled before turning away in embarrassment. “I don’t know what came over me that night.”

Chuckling at how shy your wife had gotten even after all these years of being together, you held onto her arm and nudged her shoulder. “Don’t be. I still love you no matter what. Even if I have to carry you on my back all the way home.”

She went quiet after this and the two of you enjoyed a comfortable walk home together in the atmosphere of chirping crickets and dimly lit lanterns. The night being a peaceful way to spend time with your beloved, only for something --or rather, someone-- to collide into your stomach with a force compared to that of a tiny child. 

Maybe...because it was a tiny child. 

“Ah!”

“Woah--” the little girl before you nearly stumbled back in surprise if you hadn’t caught her in time. The two of you now kneeling on the floor as your wife gasped in surprise at the sudden situation. “Are you two alright?” she asked, kneeling down with the two of you and watching as you gently checked the girl for injuries. Her eyes slowly blinking open and adjusting to her surroundings. 

“Uh...yeah...I think I’m alri...” when she finally opened her eyes fully and caught glimpse of you worriedly staring back at her, she paused and sat there with wide, unblinking eyes in a mixture of awe and amazement. “I...wow. You’re pretty ma’am!”

She suddenly grinned whilst the two of you were caught off guard. 

“Oh, why thank you! I moisturize daily,” you smiled, helping the little girl to her feet and dusting off any dirt on her dress. “Where are your parents little one?”

“At home. Can I take you with me?”

“Uh--”

Both you and Ganyu were both confused as to what this little girl was talking about. Take you home? Like a pet?

“Ah...I’m afraid she can’t do that--” your wife was interrupted when the girl suddenly grabbed your hand, her face showing that she definitely did not anticipate that. “I...what’re you--!”

“Please come home with me misses! You’re really pretty and I’d really like to keep you!” the girl started tugging you away by the sleeve towards what you assumed was the direction of her house, but wasn’t really doing anything considering that well, you were an adult and she was just a child. “We can have tea parties, play with my dolls, and we can even get married in my princess castle!”

“M-Married?!”

You suddenly felt another tug on your other arm. Ganyu now pulling on you too and basically making you into a human tug-of-war rope. 

“G-Ganyu?!”

“You can’t take her!”

Her cheeks puffed up in frustration as if she were a toddler refusing to share a toy. You had never seen such childish jealousy coming from your wife before, and it was cute, but you could see that it was taking a toll on her energy as she was starting to get tired just from getting so worked up. 

“Ah, Ganyu, let me handle this, okay? I promise she won’t take me away. I promise.”

“...Alright.”

Reluctantly letting you go, you were pulled to the side of the little girl’s, and kneeled down in front of her calmly. “Hey, little one...I’m afraid I can’t go home with you right now. You see, I belong with someone else.”

“Huh?”

You smiled and gestured to your wife behind you, who was still puffing red and fizzling with jealousy. “That’s the person I belong to. She’s already taken me a while ago, so I belong to her and will go home to her. You are a very beautiful young girl however, and I’m sure you will be able to find someone when you’re older.”

Patting the top of her head, the girl huffed and nodded reluctantly. “Okay...” she mumbled, backing up before bowing in apologies. “I’m sorry miss, and I’m sorry miss’s taker. I...I hope you have a nice night.”

Bowing once more, the child scurried off and after a few more seconds, didn’t seem too bothered by the rejection. Relieving both you and Ganyu as you didn’t want to deal with a crying child this late into the hour. 

“Ah, phew, are you alright now Gany--” you stumbled to catch your wife as she fell over onto you in drowsiness. The woman murmuring with sleep-deprived eyes while trying to keep her wobbling legs upright. 

“Yes...I am alright now, but...” she huffed shyly and struggled to stand up, “It seems that I have exhausted all of my energy into anger. I am sorry, my love...”

You only giggled into her hair and pressed a soft kiss to her temple, turning over so that she could effectively slouch herself onto your back. “That’s okay, because like I said before,”

Ganyu sighed and murmured the rest of the sentence against the skin of your neck. A smile planted on her sleepy lips. 

“You love me no matter what.”

SHENHE

“Y/N. It appears that someone is at the door.”

“Oh I’ll go get it. That must be Qianfan!”

“Qianfan? The guest?”

You suddenly opened the door to you and Shenhe’s shared residential space to reveal a young boy that appeared to be around 6-7 years old. His --what Shenhe assumed to be-- mother standing right beside him with her hands squared upon his shoulders. “Thank you for agreeing to take care of him, Miss Y/N, I’ll be back in the afternoon.”

“No problem! Your son is in great hands, ma’am!”

With the two women shaking their hands at the door and discussing all the proper essentials to taking care of the young boy, Qianfan wandered about inside the house. Looking at all the various weapons and knick knacks the couple had scattered about their home, before eventually locking eyes with the adepti student herself. 

“Who are you?”

The question cut through Shenhe like a knife through butter. Caught off guard by the sudden questioning of this young child, and having no experience in dealing with such fragile and innocent youth. 

“I...I am--”

“Shenhe!” her head snapped towards the voice of her beautiful partner, “I’ve already told you about this yesterday, but this is Qianfan! He is the son of a family friend and I agreed to babysit him for the morning while his mother went out for work.”

“Babysit? I’m not a baby!” Qianfan frowned, crossing his arms as if that’d help his case. 

“Oh but Qianfan you’d always be a baby in my eyes,” you teasingly pinched both his cheeks and laughed when he started fussing over how embarrassing it was. “Miss Y/N! I’m a man now! A whole six and a half year old man!”

Shenhe tilted her head at this statement as she did not think a six and a half year old boy would classify as a man. 

“Ah alright, then you’re a little man Qianfan,” you teased, ruffling his hair. “Shenhe, I’m going to go start preparing breakfast now. Why don’t you and Qianfan get to know one another while you wait.”

You blew her a kiss causing the adepti prodigy to smile, only to stop once she felt Qianfan start to play with her weapon from behind. “Is this a sword?” he asked curiously, poking at the handle like it were some kind of bug. “Polearm.” She responded, casually shifting the dangerous weapon away for fear that the child might injure himself. 

“Polearm? Your arm isn’t a pole!” Qianfan then prodded at your girlfriend’s arm as she looked somewhat confused as to what this young child was doing. 

“That is not what I mean--”

“Oh!” 

Suddenly distracted by something else, Qianfan rushed over to a little jewelry box you had in the corner of the living room and popped it open to see all the pretty jewels inside. 

“I don’t think Y/N would like you touching--”

“Ooh a ring! Hey, do you know if Miss Y/N is married yet?”

The abrupt question caused Shenhe to freeze in place. The young boy suddenly pulling out a Ring Pop from his sweater pocket and raising it in the air as if it were some sort of blessed object. “Because I plan to ask for Miss Y/N’s hand today! She’s so pretty and kind and and--”

The rest of his words blurred out as all Shenhe could think was...

Someone else wanted to marry you.

‘No, I will not lose Y/N to a mere child.’ she rushed over to Qianfan and stood tall over him. Bitter jealousy overcoming her and showing in her glossed over eyes. ‘I will gladly fight to the death for Y/N’s hand. You will not stand in my way.’

“I want to marry Y/N too!” she suddenly blurted out, now blushing since she was overcome with emotion. “If you want her hand in marriage, you’d have to fight me to the death!”

“The death?!” Qianfan gasped. 

“What’s going on in here? I heard shouting...” you suddenly hurried into the room and saw Shenhe standing over Qianfan like an aggressive giraffe. “Shenhe?”

“Qianfan has revealed that he intends to marry you but I refuse. I want to marry you as well.” Shenhe rushed over and grasped your hands. “Please marry me.”

“Right now?!” this was not how you expected she’d propose. “Ah...he’s just a child, Shenhe. I would never accept a proposal from someone so young.”

“I’m a man!” Qianfan called from across the room. 

“Ignore him,” you spoke softly, intertwining your fingers with Shenhe’s. “If you are jealous, my love, then just say so. I will not be upset.”

“Jealous? Over a child?” Shenhe frowned. “I could never be.”

“Oh but you do sound like it,” you giggled, “But for clarification, there is no one I’d rather be with than you.”

“So...is that a yes then?” Shenhe’s eyes sparkled with hope, causing you to chuckle. 

“Despite catching me quite off guard, yes. I will always be with you, Shenhe.”

EULA LAWRENCE

Eula sneezed when the two of you passed by a particular pot of Mondstadt flowers being sold near a flower stall. The aristocratic woman looking bashful for a moment after doing something so “unladylike” in front of her prized lover. 

“Bless you, darling.” You smiled gently. 

“Thank you dearest,” Eula looked away for a moment in shame, “I apologize. It seems that there is some pollen in the air which triggered some springtime allergies.”

“Don’t worry too much about it Eula, your sneeze is cute.”

“Wh-What--”

“Excuse me!” you suddenly felt a small tug on your sleeve and looked down to see a young child. “I bought these for you, pretty lady!”

They shoved a small bouquet of flowers from that particular flower stall, and Eula started sneezing like no tomorrow. “P-Pardon me-- a-achoo!” she covered her mouth in embarrassment and turned away to try and keep the noise to a minimum. “Excus-- achoo!”

“Eula--!”

“Do you like them miss?” the child tugged on your sleeve again and you had no choice but to accept the flowers. “Ah, yes, they are very beautiful. Thank you.”

“Hehe, I’m glad! Our wedding will have these everywhere then!”

...whAt.

Eula’s eyes snapped open and she whirled her head towards the direction of the kid. “I beg your pardon?” She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. “I said our wedding will have these everywhere then! But...you seem to be allergic to them miss...hm...” the child hummed in thought as Eula tried her very best to repress her sneezing, “Oh! I know! You can wear a mask to our wedding! I’ll allow it.”

“Your wedding?” Uh oh. Eula sounded annoyed. 

“Well...who else would this beautiful woman be wedded to? You?”

“You don’t even know her name!”

Eula’s voice was getting higher and higher, attracting the attention of ongoing bystanders. “E-Eula!” you gently wrapped your arms around hers and pulled her away from the child for a moment. Handing them the bouquet so that Eula could stop sneezing for a few precious moments. “It’s not worth getting riled up over. They’re just a child, they don’t know any better.”

“I...” Eula paused for a moment before realizing what she had just done. “Oh...oh dear. Please pardon my childishness Y/N, I was a fool to get so worked up.”

“It’s alright darling, as long as it doesn’t escalate--”

“Are you her wife?” the child pointed to Eula in a sudden yet blunt manner. The two of you caught off guard as you had assumed that they would’ve left by now. “Er...no. Not yet...” Eula blushed at the accusation and seemed to be regretting not putting a ring on you sooner.  

“Not yet? So Miss...Y/N was it?” Oh no. They’ve figured out your name. “Your hand is till open for marriage?”

“I--”

“Yes, and it is mine for the taking,” Eula interrupted, trying to keep her irritation under control. 

“Not for long!” The child suddenly whipped out a stick from nowhere! “I challenge you, Miss Eula! To a duel for Miss Y/N’s hand in marriage!”

WHAT.

“I accept.”

W H A T .

Suddenly, Eula produced her own stick from nowhere and brandished it as if it were a sword. “You stake your claim and I wish to defend my lady from it. A duel to the death for this maiden’s hand!”

“Eula this really isn’t necessary--”

And then the two rushed at each other with raised sticks. Batting at each other like untrained knights since the child was well, a child, and Eula was trying to hold back on accidentally stabbing the kid. 

“I shall protect my lady from any and all suitors who wish for her hand! Only I shall have that hand!”

Now having attracted a small crowd, everyone watched as one of the Knights of Favonius dueled with a young child with nothing more than pairs of sticks found on the ground. It was, so, so ridiculously cute, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at how dorky Eula was being. 

“Haha! I’ve made the maiden laugh! She clearly favors me then!” Eula smirked confidently at your sound of laughter and put her hands on her hips. Leaving an open opportunity for the young child to run around Eula and strike her in the back with their stick. 

“Gotcha!”

“Gah! I’ve been hit!” Falling to her knees in front of you, she smiled and watched as the child whooped around in victory. “My lady...I am dying...please revive me with a kiss of true love!”

“Okayyy Eula, you’re overdoing it.” You giggled and kneeled down in front of your lover, kissing her temple for her brave efforts, “But, for my brave knight. I shall indulge in your victories as a reward.”

“I lost on purpose in case you couldn’t tell.”

“Yes darling, I could tell,” you chuckled and helped her up to her feet, “Even though you lost, my heart will still belong to you.”

“Good.” Eula turned around to catch a glimpse of the child still whooping and hollering, chuckling to herself before bringing you close to her chest. 

“Though, perhaps I should marry you soon before the others get to it.”