#mm nation DESERVES IT

[super-license]

QATAR GP 2024 | Marc Márquez after finishing P4 in the race

[hgfictionwriter]

Unwind

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie’s been under so much stress lately. You help her unwind.

Warning: Smut. Strap, oral, language.

A/N: Jessie taking strap request. I’ve been writing softdom!Jessie for so long, it was a shift writing bottom!Jessie lol. Based on this.

Jessie sank into the couch with a heavy sigh and rubbed her face tiredly.

“Long day?” You asked as you settled in next to her, brushing her hair out of her face before rubbing the back of her neck.

“Mm.” Jessie’s eyes closed and she leaned into your touch. “Yeah. Lots of analysis and just so much to prep to do before we head to Europe. Defending gold, first Olympics without Sinc. It’s just a lot of pressure.”

“The team’s in good hands with you,” you assured her. “You know everyone will give it their all. You’re taking this time to prepare, train, you’re all doing as much as you can.”

You knew Jessie would never feel like it’s good enough, like she was doing enough, but she forced herself to give you a nod of acceptance.

“Thanks babe.”

“Anytime, baby,” you told her as you leaned in and started massaging the taut muscles of her upper back. She groaned and sunk into her touch. “My poor baby,” you cooed as you kissed her temple. “You have so much pressure on you. Club. The national team and everything in between. There’s so much going on in your mind all the time.”

Jessie exhaled tiredly, eyes still closed.

“I’m okay,” she assured you as she opened her eyes to look at you and crack a smile. “I have strategies and plans and I just need to stick to them and bring the team along.”

“You know,” you spoke slowly as your gaze fell to her neck. You laid a soft kiss on her jaw then dipped further down with a feather light kiss to her neck. You felt her shiver at the contact. “You don’t have to be so in control all the time.” You smirked at how you felt her breath catch in her throat. “It’s good to let go sometimes.”

Jessie let out a slow, shaky breath and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she gave you a sidelong glance. “Is that so? Easier said than done.”

You snuck a hand under her shirt and exhaled against the sensitive skin of her neck.

“I know it’s hard, baby. But I can help.”

You languidly dragged the tip of your tongue from the base of her neck to her ear. She tensed up at your touch, one hand balling into a fist on the sofa and the other digging into your thigh. You gently pulled her earlobe between your lips, giving it a soft flick.

“You’re always taking care of everyone else. You have so many responsibilities all the time. But tonight, you don’t have to think. I’ll take care of you.”

“Babe.” Jessie tone was partially complaining, but by the subtle shift and rotation of her hips off the couch, you knew this was working. You placed a finger to her lips to silence her.

“Tonight, you’re not Jessie the captain. You’re just Jessie, my gorgeous girlfriend, my lover, and I’m going to take care of you.” You moved your hand to her chest and leaned in, kissing her deeply. “I’m going to make you feel so good your worries will be a million miles away.”

When you broke the kiss, she gave a breathy laugh, a crooked smile on her face as her hand rest on your waist.

“What’d I do to deserve you?” She asked with that grin.

You gave her a wink and stood up from the couch, offering her your hand. She took it with a smile and let you lead her to the bedroom. You turned and grabbed her by the shirt, pulling her into a heated kiss as one hand cupped the side of her face and the other snuck up the back of her shirt and your fingers trailed down her spine. She broke your kiss with an airy gasp. You took this as an opportunity to lift her shirt over her head. Her bra was quick to follow.

You tossed the garments on the floor and caught the way Jessie eyed them. She hated clothes laying on the floor or any kind of mess in general. You reached up with a soft hand, your fingers delicately grasping her chin and turning her face towards you.

“Eyes on me.”

She smirked and leaned in to kiss you once more. As her lips fell upon yours you grabbed her by the waist and swung the both of you around before you pushed her down onto the bed. She collapsed into the duvet and propped herself up onto her elbows as she watched you with a wicked grin.

You gave her another wink and took off your top, tossing it to her. Her grin grew into a bright smile as she caught it.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” she said before you climbed onto the bed and pushed her down onto the mattress, which she readily allowed.

You kissed her deeply, hand resting at the base of her neck and her hands immediately came up to grip your waist. Your tongue grazed her lips and she parted them to invite you in.

As you continued to kiss, you nudged her legs apart and nestled your leg between hers, the top of your knee resting against her core. You gave a subtle flex of your leg, causing Jessie to let out the quietest moan into your kiss. You bit her lower lip and a louder moan escaped her.

You started slowly grinding your knee against her through her pants. Jessie breathed soft moans into your mouth as her hips rocked against you in search of greater friction. You teased her a while longer before reaching a hand down and massaging her over the fabric.

“Mmm, baby, I can feel how hot you are.” Jessie dug her head back into the covers and you smiled into the kiss. “Can’t wait to feel how wet you are.”

You sat back on the edge of the bed, Jessie’s eyes now open and blinking as she watched you inquisitively. You nodded to the pillows at the head of the bed.

“I want you up there. And these,” you gave a single tug at the waistband of her pants, “off. All of it.”

Jessie’s curious look morphed into an impish grin and she wordlessly removed the rest of her clothes and moved up to the top of the bed. You gave her a smirk as you crawled up towards her. You pushed her legs apart, and she bit her lip as you did so. You could see her arousal glistening in the dim light of the room and you looked up at her with hooded eyes as you dug your fingers into the shapely muscles of her thighs.

You moved your way up her body, trailing soft, fleeting kisses from her hips up to her mouth. Her breath was heavy with anticipation and her dark eyes followed your every move.

As you kissed her, your tongue starting to explore hers, you reach down with a hand and grazed the skin of her inner thigh with your fingers. She squirmed under your teasing touch and you had to hold back a pleased smile.

Small, barely audible whimpers crept up Jessie’s throat and you leaned down to kiss her neck, pulling a light gasp out of her.

“Patience, baby,” you told her.

She grunted, half wanting, half complaining.

“I want you,” she confessed as her fingers dug into the back of your arms.

“I know, love. I want you, too,” you said as you returned to her lips and gave her a long kiss.

It wasn’t often that you were the one in control, so you wanted to savour this switch. Not only for you, but to really let Jessie relinquish her need to please others and be in control. This was about her pleasure.

You started trailing kisses back down her body, taking your time as you relished her taut muscles.

You kissed along her hips, down on one side and then the next. Each time, her hips lifted off the bed, pleading you for more but you kept her waiting.

Your kisses then lined the inside of her thighs, slow and languid until you kissed the lips of her core, your tongue slipping out to get a taste of her dripping arousal. A tight moan immediately filled the room as her hips jerked off the bed to meet your mouth.

“You taste so good, baby,” you said as you dipped your tongue inside of her and trailed upwards to kiss her clit. She moaned softly and you spied how fingers dug into the fabric of the duvet.

You traced your tongue up and down between her folds, pulling them into a kiss and suckling them teasingly now and then before flicking her clit.

Her thighs flexed around your head and you began sucking on her clit while lapping at it, pulling a low moan out of her. Her hips ground against your mouth and you followed her movements whenever she lifted off the mattress.

You shifted higher up on the bed so you could delve into her more fully, and you grinned at how she spread her legs wider to make more room for you and invite you in.

Your head rolled from side to side as you continued to taste her and with every moan of hers that filled the room, your grip on her firm legs tightened.

Her hips started gyrating up and down into your face faster, her whimpers rose in pitch and her thighs now started to flex tightly around your head. You remained steady, knowing she was close.

Soon, you heard a strangled gasp come from up the bed and her legs locked around your head, hips raised and her fingers dug deeply into the covers. You smiled as you continued to lap up the juices flowed from her as you helped her ride out her orgasm.

Her hips jerked into your face a couple more times before her whole body fell lax and she sunk back into the bed. You waited a couple of seconds before sitting back on your heels and wiping your face.

Jessie looked up at you with hooded eyes, her cheeks red, and she gave you a shy smile before averting her gaze.

“You’re amazing,” you told her as you crawled up her body and kissed her chest and then up her jaw. She wrapped her arms around you and kissed the side of your head.

“That was so good,” she told you. “I needed that, thank you.”

“Oh I’m not done yet,” you said as you ground your hips into her and suckled on her earlobe, causing her to subtly writhe beneath you, her fingers digging into your back. “Wait right here.”

You went to the nightstand and retrieved the strap. Just seeing it made the arousal between your legs even stronger as your body was brought back to the countless times Jessie dicked you down so good with it. It wasn’t that often she was on the receiving end, but tonight you were going to make her feel as good as she made you feel. She didn’t need to be in control tonight, you had it covered.

When ready, you returned to the bed to see Jessie watching you wordlessly as she bit her lower lip.

“You ready for me, baby?” You asked as you climbed up, stroking lube onto the strap though you knew she was still dripping wet.

“God, yes,” she said, her voice hoarse as she watched you jerk the strap up and down in preparation. “I want you inside of me.”

“Mmm, you know just how to get me going,” you said with an appreciative smile, your eyes fixed on Jessie. “On your knees, baby.” Though affectionate, there was no denying the command in your voice as you pointed to the space in front of you.

Despite how quiet or nice Jessie appeared to people, she didn't like people telling her what to do. Unless it was you. Even when Jessie was on top, it was in service of you.

She didn’t hesitate. She sat up and leaned forward to give you a kiss. She went to move, but you brought a hand up to the back of her neck, holding her in place to give her another, deeper kiss before releasing her. She smirked at you as she flipped over onto her hands and knees in front of you.

“Like this?” She asked as she glanced over her shoulder at you. She knew what she was doing to you. You shook your head in wonderment at the vision before you.

“Mm. Just like that, babe. You look so fucking gorgeous,” you praised as you leaned forward and ran your hands along her well defined back until you reached her firm ass, giving an appreciative squeeze.

You grabbed the strap and rubbed it through her slick folds a few times before settling it at her entrance. You rubbed her ass as you slowly moved forward and slipped inside. You both moaned.

You sunk in to the hilt and Jessie braced herself on the mattress, arms folded in front of her as she rested her head down in pleasure. You chewed your lip as you took in her honed physique.

Drawing your hips back, you pulled out to the tip, eliciting another small moan from her before you steadily drove back in. You did this a few times, your pace slowly increasing with each thrust.

Soon, you shifted your hands forward and gripped her waist as you began to pump in and out of her, using this angle to your advantage and making sure to hit her sweet spot with each thrust. The way Jessie’s body shuddered just so with every thrust confirmed it for you.

The sounds of your hips slapping against her filled the room, accompanied by her low groans and whimpers. The way her back arched as you fucked her, riled you right up.

Her forehead was still buried in the mattress and she reached out, gripping the covers tightly in her fists. You knew she was getting close.

You stopped. Within a moment a disappointed and wanting moan came from her and you pulled out completely. Before she could question you, you gently guided her onto her back.

“Come on, babe,” you instructed as you lined up at her entrance again and kissed her tenderly. “I want to you to finish in my arms, my lips on yours.”

She wrapped her arms around your shoulders and you pushed your hips down into her. She broke the kiss momentarily as her mouth fell slack at the sensation of being filled once more.

You picked up where you left off and soon you were driving into her with deep, angled thrusts that pulled renewed moans from her throat as her legs wrapped around your waist and her fingers dug into your skin.

“I love you so much,” you panted as your rocked above her.

Her response was preceded by a moan. “I love you, too.” She rolled her hips up to meet each stroke. “Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” you promised as you kept your pace steady. Sweat was beading on your forehead, but you wouldn’t let her down.

It was only moments later that a strangled cry came from Jessie’s throat and she tightened around you like a vice. It was challenging to keep your pace as she did so, but you held on. You adored the way she breathed and whimpered into your ear as she clung on.

As her grip on you relaxed, your hips slowed until you pushed in one final time. You rest inside of her, collapsing on her, your sweaty bodies intertwined as you both fought to regain your breath.

“Jess, you are so incredible. I love you so much,” you said in adoration as you kissed her shoulder. She panted a while longer, her fingers mindlessly running through your hair before she gave a slow nod.

“I love you, too,” she said breathlessly, eyes still closed.

“You’re my favourite person,” you told her with another kiss.

She chuckled and gave you a tight squeeze. “You’re mine. You always know exactly what I need.”

[dark-frosted-heart]

When the Holy Beast Falls - Azel

An “If you were lovers” story. As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

If Prince Azel and I were lovers…

Sometimes the Living God of Tanzanite would visit the befriended nation Benitoite.

On those occasions, he’d always have me go with him.

I’d never hear something cute like “I’ll miss you” from the two-faced god who apparently brought me along just to push me around.

But I know his true intentions.

--

Emma: Prince Azel, I’m back. 

Azel: You’re late.

Emma: I brought everything you asked me to buy since you can’t go into town, so please forgive me.

Azel: That’s not the issue.

Prince Azel, who waited by the entrance, took the packages from me.

However, it didn’t seem like he was considering the packages and studied me.

Emma: …Are you hurt?

Azel: You can see I’m not.

Emma: Then what is it?

Azel: You’ve kept me waiting because you’ve been having fun in town.

Emma: H-how did you know? Is this God’s power— 

Azel: It’s all over your face.

(I guess I was grinning)

At my honest confession, Prince Azel pinched my cheek.

Azel: You got some nerve. I’ve been waiting for you to come back—

Emma: You’ve been waiting? For me?

Azel: …Don’t get the wrong idea. I asked you to get something for me.

Emma: That’s too bad. I thought if you were waiting for me, I’d rush back the next time.

Azel: Hurry back even if I’m not waiting. That’s a debtor’s responsibility. I’ll add this late fee to your debt.

Emma: Is that okay? The more debt you add, the more you won’t be able to let me go.

Azel: …You’re getting defiant.

(You’re so awkward, truly)

With a grim look on his face, Prince Azel turned his back on me and placed items he had me get on the table.

He went to check its contents, but his hand immediately stopped.

Azel: Emma…What is this?

Emma: It’s cute, isn’t it? I made a stop along the way to buy it.

Prince Azel held Benitoite’s popular “Living God doll” in his trembling hands.

It was a small doll in Prince Azel’s likeness that was said to bring many blessings, including luck with money, love, health, etc.

(It took me a while to buy it since there as a line)

Before he could throw it against the wall, I snatched the doll from Prince Azel’s hands and held it dearly.

Emma: I bought this separately from the money you gave me. I’m not giving it to you.

Azel: Get rid of things that aren’t wanted or needed.

Emma: I refuse. He’s cute, isn’t he?

Azel: Cute?! I think you mean repulsive.

I moved the doll out of Prince Azel’s reach as he tried to steal it back and stepped away from him.

Emma: Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of it.

Azel: No one’s telling you to take care of it. I'm telling you to throw it away.

Emma: Throw away my beloved Prince Azel? I could never.

Azel [polite]: …I see, I see. Even with the real God present, you chose the doll and casted me aside. How cruel…This is a slight toward God. This blasphemy deserves divine punishment.

(Ah—)

Prince Azel deliberately covered his face with his hands and began sobbing.

I knew it was a trap, but it hurt my conscience to ignore him.

Emma: That’s not it. However, with this doll, I can be with Prince Azel even when I’m out running errands. It’s my way of showing how much I love you.

The instant I approached the god to butter him up, Prince Azel stopped his crocodile tears, took the doll from me, and tossed it into some corner of the room. 

Emma: Ah! That’s cruel—Mn?!

My eyes widened when he stopped my protest with a kiss.

Azel: Who’s the cruel one here? Cheater.

Emma: …Even though it’s a puppet of you.

Azel: If you want my blessings so much, I’ll give it to you. You’ll have to deal with it.

A large hand grabbed my chin and our lips met again.

The kisses of a holy, unrelated god were always so greedy, greedily exploring deep inside that it made you feel like you were going to fall.

(Why is every kiss so lewd…)

Even when I nipped his lip to tell him he was going too far, the two-faced god didn’t stop and instead started tickling my ear.

Emma: Mm…Mmm!

Azel: Don’t need the doll anymore? That’s wonderful.

Emma: Wro…ah

The fingers that were tickling my ear slid down my neck and under the collar of my blouse.

I hastily grabbed the hand that was going to defile me and looked into his mysterious, starry eyes.

Emma: I can’t return to my room anymore, can I?

Azel [polite]: A message from God. You should not be alone tonight for there are bad omens.

Emma: …A lot of good things happened in town though?

Azel [polite]: It will happen, and it will surely be a misfortune.

Emma: Specifically…

Azel [polite]: Divination is an ambiguous thing. You won’t know until it happens.

Emma: Then let’s test out if Prince Azel’s divination is really correct.

Azel: Why would you do that? Are you stupid?

He cupped my cheeks and squished them.

Emma: Because lately, you’ve been saying the same thing. That when I’m alone, misfortune, bad luck, or a disaster will happen to me… So I thought I’d try it out just once.

Azel: Being fearless isn’t good. God’s words are absolute, so you must heed His warnings.

Emma: I get it Prince Azel. You just really want us to be together, don’t you?

Azel: ……I didn’t say that.

(You’re so easy to read)

Azel: I don’t care if you’re here or not. I prefer being alone.

Emma: Then— 

When I tried to shake his hands off and turn away, he hugged me tight.

Azel: You don’t believe in God’s good will?

Emma: You just need to be honest and say that you want me with you.

Azel: Aren’t you the one that wants to be with me?

Emma: If I’m the only one that wants this, then I’ll only bother you so I’ll head back to my room—

Azel: Try to go back if you can.

(Ugh…He’s so strong that I can’t shake him off!)

Even after saying all this, Prince Azel still won’t admit it.

But when I turned to look at him, we kissed for a short moment.

Azel: Ah…

It seemed like he didn’t mean to and his brows furrowed.

(He never wants to admit it, but…)

Emma: You truly do love me, Prince Azel.

Azel: Don’t be so conceited.

A blush spread across his grim face.

(...God’s blessing was real)

(Because it’s possible to make Prince Azel look like this)

With a dramatic sigh, Prince Azel rested his forehead on my shoulder.

Azel: What am I even doing?

Emma: It's love.

Azel: No. I’m in no way in love with you. Damn it…

(There’s still a long way to go, but I’ll definitely get it out of him one day)

(An “I love you” from Prince Azel)

[gfdazai]

Combing his hair. ♡

Dazai is implied to have a negative mental health episode, established relationship, blah blah blah. GN reader. 750~ish words. I still don't know how to end fics.

Dazai feels broken. Useless. He still hasn't gotten out of bed, and it's 11am. He should've been at work three hours ago, yet he can't find the will to.

He's lying there, wanting to move, but he can't. He can't bother even rolling over to get a drink. The bottles from the previous night lie by his bed, some knocked over, some still standing up.

He forces himself onto his side, trying to ignore the stinging pain of his back, and the pounding, repeating pain of his headache. His groan goes quiet when he hears the front door unlock, open, and shut.

You're here... Again. He did say you could stop by whenever, but he doesn't want to see you right now. Not when he's like this — not when his apartment is like this. He wishes he could shove you out, deep clean and then let you back in.

"Doors open." He barks lazily once he hears you approaching the door. He wants to turn and get up, give you a kiss; but he can't find it in him to even roll over and face the door.

He can barely spare a blink when he hears the door creak open — he's been meaning to get you to fix that. "Osamu?" He slowly blinks, forcing his gaze away from the wall and to your form.

"Bad day?"

"Mm." He hums blankly as an answer, his eyes slowly following you as you get on the bed beside him.

"Wanna talk about it?"

He doesn't answer, feeling you move him a little. His head isn't on the pillows anymore, now on your lap. It's a bit of a distraction from him feeling his clothes on his skin.

"...You wanna take a shower?" You question softly, feeling his forehead to check for a fever. He seems colder, rather than burning hot. He shakes his head a smidge.

"Well, uh... I'll admit, I don't know what else to offer." You chuckle, and he melts a little at the sound. You're always so sweet and gentle to him, it makes him nauseous. He doesn't... Deserve this.

"...Can I brush your hair?" You ask softly, placing your hand gently on the back of his head, rubbing your thumb against his messy, greasy hair.

He blinks slowly, forcing himself to nod a little. "Mhm.." He swallows, trying to wet his dry mouth. "Please." His voice is weak... Broken, and shaky. Like he hasn't had a drink in the past week... Or maybe that's because he hasn't water in the past 24 hours.

You smile a little, "okay." You say softly, looking over at his nightstand. You grab a dark blue comb, gently sectioning off his hair, before starting to comb through it.

A few minutes pass, and you're onto the next section. "I bought you more crab. Some of it is canned, but I got some of that fancy stuff that you said you wanted last time we went out together." You say. He blinks a few times, clearing his throat halfheartedly.

"...Really?" He mumbles softly. "That's... Too much. I can pay you back." His finger twitches as he starts to force his hands to move, but he stops when you press him back down.

"No, it's really nothing. Think of it as a late, uh... Present for national crab meat day?" You smile a little, and he smiles a little back.

"Oh?... Thank you." He sighs softly, feeling you move onto the next section of his hair.

A few moments pass... "...Are you mad I didn't stop by last night?" He mumbles, his eyes fluttering closed, not wanting to see if he hurt you. He hears you sigh, and his heart drops. This is it — he fucked it all up, he's gonna be alone again, and you'll move on, and he'll end up —

"Of course not. You did say that you might be too busy to stop by." He blinks, opening his eyes and looking up at you.

"...Oh." He mumbles. "I didn't think you'd be so... Okay. About it." He swallows, eyes falling back down to his mattress.

You finish combing his hair, grabbing a hairtie from your pocket and gathering as much of his hair as you can, tying it up. "Ta-da." His heart melts at your giggle.

"Mhm..." He yawns softly, closing his eyes. "Love you." He mumbles, exhaling gently...

"Love you too, 'samu." You press a gentle kiss to his forehead, before leaning back against the headboard, letting the silence play for the both of you.

Please don't steal my work, nor feed it to any sort of AI. Thank you! ♡

[pinkeos]

AFAB! Neuvillette x AMAB!Reader || 18+ MDNI

Warning/s: SMUT, they have seggs in a lake

Notes: *drops this and scampers back to play swarm cause ive been procrastinating*

In a secluded lake, somewhere in Fontaine only known to two, was the Chief Justice. His horns glowed a translucent blue, tail swishing in the water as he relaxed his body.

Neuvillette seldom took breaks, often drowning himself with piles of papers, working tirelessly for the sake of his nation. However, he needed a break. He deserved a break.

And being a good partner, you decided to take him out for a late night swim, knowing well it would help him clear his mind off of his troubles. That, and you also wanted to finally spend time together outside of the very quick lunches you shared.

The surface of the water rippled when you entered, the man turning to face you with the softest smile on his face. The moon was bright and high up in the sky tonight, the way its light shone down upon your lover only made him even more ethereal than he already was.

You returned his smile, leaning forward to press a soft kiss on his forehead while he instinctively wrapped his arms loosely around your neck. You felt him shiver in your arms at the way your fingertips gently traced his spine, going down until your hand settled on the fat of his ass, earning a gasp from your beloved.

“You look so perfect.” You murmured against his cheek, placing kisses against his cheekbone, adding with a chuckle, “As you always do.”

Neuvillette smiled, “You flatter me, my love.”

Your kisses on his cheek traveled downwards, reaching his jaw and then his neck. In compliance, the white haired man tilted his head to the side, giving you more room to place loving kisses on his skin.

He could feel your hands roaming his body, groping, caressing with adoration. You’d been intimate with him a number of times, but nowadays, with the sudden rise in the number of cases he had to deal with, you could only sneak in a few kisses and sometimes make out that would ultimately be cut short due to his busy schedule. He sighed in pleasure, slowly feeling his knees grow weak at your affectionate touches.

Your naked bodies pressed against each other when you pulled him closer to you, the water flowing softly at the sudden action as his tail wrapped around your waist. It was quiet, with nothing but the sound of nature surrounding the both of you, coupled with Neuvillette's whines when you nipped on a sensitive spot on his neck.

“It’s been so long. I need you, sweetheart.” You groaned into his neck, snaking a hand between the both of you to take a hold of the base of your cock, inserting it in between his plush thighs to rub against his throbbing pussy.

The Chief Justice whined, hand coming up to hold onto your bicep as you continued grinding, your length rubbing against his folds, the veins stimulating his clit just right, “Then— ahh!— t-take me.”

You didn't need to be told twice, really. Your hands immediately grasping his thighs, mouth devouring his own with a sense of urgency, so thirsty and deprived of him. His tongue danced with your own, his hand running through your hair while the other held onto your shoulder as you wrapped his legs around your waist.

“Mm!” He whined into the kiss, feeling your fingers rub his nipple, twisting and pulling. The stimulation along with your tip pressing and teasing against his clit drove him nuts.

You pulled away from the kiss, panting as you caught your breath, staring lovingly into his eyes while your hand guided your dick near his entrance, pressing into him slowly. The man’s lips parted, forming a small ‘o’ at the sensation of the stretch.

He could feel your eyes linger on his face, intently watching to see if he was in pain. It was a simple action, but it did make his heart flutter with how attentive you are. As much as you wanted to pound into him with everything you have, especially with how good he felt around you, you still prioritized his comfort and feelings first. You weren't going to lie, though, taking the hydro dragon in a secluded lake was hot.

“You feel so tight.” You grunted, slowly grinding your hips against him as you waited for him to fully adjust.

With red cheeks, Neuvillette buried his face against the crook of your neck, “I-It’s been a while…”

A smile spread across your lips before you drew your hips back until only the tip was left, and thrusting back into him. You kept a steady pace, eyes closing and eyebrows furrowing as his warmth clouded your head, feeling nothing but his walls clenching around your cock.

“Mmm-ahh! Aaahh! F-faster… go faster…” He whispered through pants, gritting his teeth as you placed your hands on his hips, bringing him to meet your every thrust. He could feel your tip kissing his cervix, tears gathering in his eyes at the immense pleasure.

“Keep clenching around me and I might just come inside you.” You groaned, speeding up your thrusts, your movement creating waves and splashes.

His sharp nails scratched your back, desperately trying to ground himself from the overwhelming ecstasy brought by your onslaught of pumps into his pussy, pulling at the knot in his stomach to cause it to tighten and tighten.

From the way he only tightened even more at your words, you could tell he wanted it. He wanted your cum to paint his insides white, for you to breed him without a care in the world.

Neuvillette tilted his head upward, hearts in his eyes and tongue lolling out. He looked adorable like this, all dumb on your cock.

Without warning, his eyes widened, a loud gasp falling from his parted lips as his legs shook, hold on you loosening as his climax tore through him, his pussy spasming. You had to hold him tighter, making him lean against your figure as you continued to chase your climax.

“Cum… inside me.” He panted, biting his lower lip, “Breed me. Please, please…”

Who could refuse when he chanted and whined in your ear, meeting your thrusts and coaxing you to do as he told you.

“Fuck, that's so hot.” You grinned, finally stopping still, groaning into his neck as you spilled your semen inside of him, directly into his cervix.

He whined, ignoring the cool water the both of you were in, instead focusing on the warmth of your seed inside him.

You held him against you still, rubbing his back and placing soft kisses on his shoulder, whispering how good he was for you. He remained silent, however, and before you could ask what was wrong, you felt a drip of water against your cheek.

Slowly, droplets fell from the sky, clouds now blocking the full moon as rain took over. With wide eyes, you pulled back just enough to show him your worried face.

“My love, are you alright? Were you hurt—”

Neuvillette shook his head, nuzzling closer towards you, “It just… it felt too good.”

You worry dissipated, instead chuckling softly as you cupped his cheek, “You’re adorable.”

Ending note: i love neuvillette sm (totally didn't skip his rerun for a 4* in 4.7🤡)

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

w.count: 1.7k - i am such a pile of mush for this guy

kaeya has always been the type to never admit what he wants. not to the people around him: his friends or family at the winery, not to the wind when he's by himself leaning on the sturdy stone bridge leading into the city, and especially not to himself. or maybe, it's not that he doesn't want to admit he wants something, but more so he firmly believes he deserves less than 'wanting'.

too many things had piled up since he was younger that his conscience had dulled and yearning for things was an action he couldn't bring himself to do. but there are things kaeya alberich wants- yearns for so deeply it makes him anxious.

a stable relationship with his brother. a break from the ever-pressuring uncertainty of his role in this life. a clean break from his homeland he hardly remembers and hardly cares about. hell, sometimes he even wanted to throw his whole surname away. kaeya alberich wants-

"kaeya!"

-you.

kaeya had finished up his tasks for the day and his head was so clouded that some fresh air would do him some good. he found himself leaning over the stone wall of the bridge connecting mondstadt to the wilds of the nation. one of his arms lay across the stone barrier with his hand dangling off the edge. his other propped up to hold his chin as he lazily zones out, shutting his mind off while the wind brushed his hair across his face, and neck, and chest.

then, your voice calling his name zoned him back in, brought him back into the here and now as you jogged up the slope of the bridge. he had to fully twist his body since the obstacle of his eyepatch kept him from giving you his fully brought back attention. his arm still rested on the stone of the bridge, and his back was fully straightened by the time you came to a stop in front of him with your hands on your hips. your lips were pursed, cheeks puffed like a fish. he had to contain his snickering- which he failed at by his twitching mouth you noticed.

"what's with the face, sweetcheeks?" opening your mouth in offense, you swat at his arm. he flinches away, not in fear or in pain but in jesting fun before laughing at your huffing. he could see puffs of smoke with each exhale of your nostrils in his imagination. finally letting go of the bridge, his arms come to rest on his own hips, mirroring you.

"kaeya!" the way you could say his name in all sorts of tones- it all rivals his favorite songs. this one... this one was definitely agitated.

"alright, alright." he relaxes his body and crosses his arms over his chest instead of mimicking you. "what's the urgency about?" kaeya watches you speak with body your body and mouth. he's not entirely focused on what you're saying- something you'll probably scold him for- but more so focused on your whole presence.

"kaeya," you hiss and he blinks before leaning his hip against the side of the sturdy stone. this tone was a warning- a light one. his eyebrows lift before he shuts his eye and nods like he is agreeing with whatever you had just said. "you didn't hear me, did you?" you accuse.

"mm," he tilts his head mockingly before he chuckles with a shake of his head. "not entirely."

"you're unbelievable."

"oh? complimenting me are you?"

with a huff, you take a half step closer to him and miss the quick intake of breath he does at the loss of proximity. reaching up, you shift through the thick, blue hair on the left side of his head and find his ear before pulling on it. jumping away from the wall he was leaning on, his knees instinctively bent- his hands coming up to hover over your grasp- to follow the downward direction his head was taking as you pull.

"owow-!"

"timmie came running into the city gate huffing and puffing that you coming out here and just standing in the middle of the bridge scared off his birds." you nag before releasing his ear. his hand comes up to rub the side of his head, palm cupping the small limb and his hair tangling between his knuckles in the process.

"i don't see how that's my fault," he whines. "those birds would fly away at the faintest gust of wind."

"i know that," you sigh before pinching the bridge of your nose. with your face hidden under your hand, kaeya couldn't see you well. you were still well within his bubble, but he didn't mind. leaning down, he tried to look under your hand to find your eyes again. when he's about what he guesses is eye level, your hand falls away from your face and you're smirking. "i just told timmie i'd scold you for it."

kaeya's stuck in bewilderment for a moment before he starts snickering, snickering that soon evolves into laughing that has him wrapping his arms across his gut. you stand in front of him proud at both your performance and the jolly laugh you pulled from the captain.

calming down, he witnesses you huffing in pride. your hands are on your hips again and although it's the same pose as your irritated expression from before, this version is so very different. you were like a coin of mora that had been flipped from heads to tails.

"oh!" your hands come up in front of you as one of your fists land softly into the palm of your other. "i did come to find you for something though."

"oh?" he mirrors. "curious minds want to know."

digging around in the small pouch you kept slung over your belt- a gift he got you a long time ago- you come to stand beside him. squeezing yourself between his right side and the bridge, your shoulder pushes just lightly into his arm and his body experiences a wave of warmth at the sensation. from your pouch, you provide his one good eye with two small cut-out cards.

"which one do you think klee would like more?" kaeya blinks his eye before looking at you.

"for klee?" his voice cracks lightly in confused and curiousity. "is there a reason... or?"

"no," you shake your head, "not really. getting her a little something from time to time isn't a crime though. kids need enrichment- plus it'll distract her from getting too bored for a while at least." you bring his attention back to the cards. one depicts a pryo and cryo slime stacked on top of one another. the other is a classic dodoco card. they had clearly been hand drawn and kaeaya wonders if you asked lisa for pointers. "now, help me choose."

kaeya crosses his arms again and leans in to get a better look.

"wouldn't it be a no brainer with dodoco in the running?"

"see, i thought that too. but like... isn't that too predictable?"

"sweetcheeks, she's 8."

"okay? and?"

kaeya sighs before taking the slime card from you and moving it up and away from your grasp.

"ah-! hey!"

"just go with that one. trust me, the fact you're thinking of her 'bestest friend' will absolutely thrill her." with an unoriginal sigh, you yield to his words. you gently place the winning card into your pouch again, careful not to wrinkle it. you offer your closest hand palm up towards him and kaeya just stares at it. when you don't feel anything put in your palm, you look at him expectantly.

"the other one, please."

"hmm," his arm moves to bring the card down behind his back. " no, i don't think so. i'll personally take this one as my payment."

"wha-?" your brow wrinkles at him as he pockets the slime card before you can start some sort of counter to get it back.

"my services can't always be free you know," he teases. "the unpicked option has to go to someone after all."

you let out a defeated sigh with a wave of your hand to signal he can have his way this time. flowers could've bloomed around his head at the glee of winning so easily and taking something you had made in the process.

your arm falls back to your side and suddenly your spine freezes your whole body when a weight pushes against your shoulder. twisting your neck, you feel kaeya's hair against your cheek before you see it. straightening up a little against his weight, his head wobbles where his forehead rests on your shoulder.

"kaeya?" that tone was sweet. sweet yet softly wondering what he was doing. hearing it so close to his ear sent a shiver down into his very core. his hand searches for your dangling one and he locks his pinkie with yours.

kaeya can't bring himself to hold your whole hand, but he can make himself lock your promise fingers together in this moment where it was just you and him. he lets a deep breath out of his body that feels like it came from the bottom of his feet all the way up his limbs. it was heavy.

kaeya's eye shuts softly when he feels your pinke link tighter against his a silent permission that what he's doing is okay- even if you don't understand fully. chances are you just think he's exhausted- and in a way, you're correct.

you were too sweet for your own good. god, you were so bad for his fractured conscience and heart.

kaeya has always been the type to never admit what he wants. but just this once, just with you, he can admit wholly to himself that kaeya alberich wants you so badly.

"mx. y/n!" little timmie on the bridge calls for you the next morning. "did you scold captain kaeya like you promised?" his little fists were balled in front of him like he was asking for some sort of secret information. you kneel and look playfully side to side as if looking for overlistening gossipers before waving him closer.

"just between you and me, captain kaeya was properly scolded by yours truly."

"good! he needs to be more careful!" you chuckle and while timmie runs off to feed his pigeons, you stand and feel kaeya's stare on your back before you see him, feel him grabbing onto your pinkie again and bringing your hand up into the air between you both.

"promise to take it easier on me next time, oh-harsh-scolder."

[lyrinsluv]

9:39pm

timeskip! kuroo x [coworker] reader

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

wordcount: 706! :D

you and kuroo worked in the promotion department together. it wasn’t unknown that you both have had your ups and downs. from fighting about which volleyball player was more popular on the mens volleyball national team to fighting about where the stapler on your desk was placed in the office, your coworkers never fail to chuckle and gossip at both of your antics. 

it was night. you typically worked overtime whereas kuroo didn’t. sitting at your desk, scrolling through which player amassed more views and likes on the social media account for promoting the team aimlessly, you got bored. the office was half empty, thankfully pretty quiet. until it wasn't.

of course he had to show up. he just had to come in, murmuring something about how he left his jacket here. some of your coworkers greet him and wave him a good night, considering it was almost ten at night. everyone in the office loved kuroo for some reason. maybe it was because he had some relations to the actual players on the team, causing him to be quite literally amazing at his job? “no, he doesn’t deserve to be put on such a high pedestal like that.” you think to yourself. you yawn at your desk, typing down some stats into your laptop. turning your eyes to the time on your laptop and to him, it still read ‘9:39.’ would these six minutes pass by quickly? you just wanted to go home, no more kuroo, no more typing stats. 

and that yawn turned a head. an unwanted head. kuroo’s jacket was the least of his worries right now. it's not like you weren’t; he always craved to bother you every time he saw you. you blink tiredly as you watch him creep up to your desk. the sigh that escaped your mouth spoke numbers. 

“what, kuroo?” you ask in an annoyed tone, clearly tired from the long day of work. staring at a laptop was not for the weak. 

“why’re you still here? it’s pretty late, y’know?” he asks, using his provocative voice in the midst of the sentence. you roll your eyes at his tone. oh, how you love that tone. 

“maybe some of us work overtime, dumbass.” you mutter, accompanying it with a groan. you wonder why he annoyed you so much. was it his attractive voice? the way it made your skin shiver every time you heard him talk? or god, maybe his good looks, his messy hair, his everything? 

“aw, that must suck for you, no?” you look him up and down with a scowl. you hated this game of cat and mouse, but he just so happened to love your bantering sessions. 

“shut up, kuroo.” you mumbled, turning back to the laptop. what you didn’t expect was for him to lean down and ask you something. 

“you keep on staring.” he whispers into your ear. your shoulders raise at this, his hot breath creeping down your ear, trickling down to your neck. has he no office etiquette?

“what the hell, kuroo? not everyones in love with you, you know?” you quip back in a half annoyed half tired voice. but oh, how he loved that voice. 

“mm, but you are. i see the way you stare everyday, the way your ears perk up at my voice,” he mumbles into your ear. god, it was so hard to resist him right now. you turn to him, facing his body. 

“so what?” you ask back, coincidentally making eye contact with him. the way his gaze bores into yours makes you sink into your chair. the few blinks you let out make his lips turn up into a smile.

“so what? so you’re admitting to my accusations?” he asks coyly, not caring about where he was anymore. the way his head tilted to the side made you melt. maybe in a good way, or in a bad. 

“you're so annoying.” you mutter. his quiet laugh made your ears perk up. ugh, why’d he have to be so observant..?

you hated this. and you were supposed to get off a minute ago. too bad kuroo just wants to keep you all to himself tonight. 

:3

[sid471]

Ellie Disventure Camp also needs a time out 😶

Ellie fans, I’m sorry, no I’m not, but I’m coming for your girl. But let me start by saying, I LOVE a villain. Especially a bad ass female villain. That’s why I like Fiore and Riya. But Ellie… is not bad ass. She’s just plain petty 😶 and, listen, petty villains have their place in my heart too. But Ellie is not just petty but also spiteful. For no reason .-. And yeah, yeah, I know she needs money, she’s relatable, you would do the same for a million dollars, blah blah shut it >_> Now, let’s begin with Jake ☺️

Now, imma just say, I love Jake, I’ve been team Jake since season 1, but I’m not gonna deny that Jake is annoying. He is sometimes 🤷🏻‍♂️ but he does not deserve the fuckin… psychological torture by Ellie ._. Y’all love to say JAKE is petty and obsessive but ELLIE is the one who’s pissy at Jake for being, RIGHTFULLY, upset for ruining his relationship 😶 and it looks to me like she’s been like that… the whole time? .-. Last episode, episode 6, She made Tom and Aiden kiss for NO reason other than to fuck with Jake ._. Like, she says that verbatim 😶 Her exact words are “I suggested the idea of the kiss, but the reasoning we just made up. This might be evil, but I can’t pass up the opportunity to see Jake lose his mind again. Hey, with no tv out here, it’s the next best thing.” Like, girl! This is… just ridiculous ._. What did Jake do to you? Rightfully get angry at you for betraying his trust and completely ruining his relationship? Not even Season One Grett would stoop this low 😶

And THEN, in episode 7, the latest episode so spoilers sorry, she again uses Tom and Aiden just to fuck with Jake .-. Granted, this one gets half of a pass because it WAS an actual game move and it worked out 🤷🏻‍♂️ But was it necessary? Mm. Debatable. Speaking of unnecessary. Let’s talk Tom 😊

Ellie dislikes Tom. For what reason? I couldn’t tell ya 😶 SHE fucked HIM over, SHE trash talked HIM on national TV. Not the other way around .-. Why is SHE mad at HIM ._. And why is she surprised that Tom is generous? He was a great guy, all things considered, in season 1 .-. Know what it smells like to me? ✨Projection✨. SHE’S gonna use the money for self fulfilling reasons, so of course everyone else is too 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think Ellie can dish it but she can’t take it, know what I mean? She can trash talk Jake, Tom, Miriam, AND Alec and that’s fine, she needed the money 🤷🏻‍♀️, but if any of those people are angry at her for the things she said? All hell breaks loose 😶 You can dislike Riya, but at least she owns her mess 😊 She knows she’s a villain and she owns it. She doesn’t do Villain Things, then try to revert back to her early season 2 self, no, Riya owns her shit.

Now, let’s talk about Gabellie. They’re very cute :3 I like them together, they’re sweet. However… Ellie, Gabby is your ONLY friend and only true ally. She HAS Tess… but like she also doesn’t, Tess could be swayed by Aiden, I feel, and especially could be swayed by Ally if they both make the merge. Ellie’s only guaranteed number is Gabby right now. So, what does Ellie do for her only ally, and, y’know, her girlfriend? Lie to her 😶 Now, listen, I understand lying to Tess, Aiden, and Tom about the villain alliance. That’s just smart gameplay 🤷🏻‍♂️ But lying to Gabby? No .-. Pull her to the side and tell her the truth 😶 Show that you trust her >_> because it’s very clear that Gabby adores Ellie with all of her heart, she wouldn’t have said a word 😊 but no 😶 Ellie lied to her. And now Gabby knows Ellie lied to her. And now Gabby could very well turn on Ellie because if she lied about the villain alliance, what else could she lie to her about ya know?

In conclusion: Ellie is a try hard villain 😶 She wants to be Fiore, Season 1 Grett, and Riya so bad and it’s embarrassing 😊

[velvetvexations]

I'm glad you got something out of it!

The piss-on-the-poor website does it again.

It's honestly kinna hilarious how pissed off that one asshole stoner made yall, Velvet Nation. Dude got lit and walked into a bear trap.

Mm, I'm sorry, anon. You absolutely deserve your own places.

They literally think trans men are cis.

[girlboypersonthingy]

WELCOME, YA’LL ✨

Mm heeyyyy 😘 Welcome to the shit show. I write for Voltron, Sally Face, Helluva Boss (only Blitzø) AND Hazbin Hotel. I NO LONGER WRITE FOR ARCANE SORRY. Requests will always be open, just plz be patient with me. This is just for fun and I have a life outside this ❤️‍🩹 Feel free to send ideas or ask questions, too! I love hearing from yall. All my random shit posts are under the #jamielovesyou 🖤

MASTER LIST AND REQUEST INFO BELOW!!! (Updated 4/18/24) 🫶🏼

🚨MINORS DO NOT INTERACT🚨 18+ material will be labeled as (NSFW) 18+ 🚨 Trigger Warnings (TW) will be on all posts!

✨MASTER LISTS✨

FANDOMS/CHARACTERS I WRITE FOR:

VOLTRON

Lance 💙

Keith ❤️

Pidge 💚

Shiro 🖤

Hunk 💛

Allura 💖

Matt 🧡

HAZBIN HOTEL

Angel Dust 🕸️

Husk 🃏

Charlie ❤️‍🔥

Lucifer 🍎

Vaggie ⚔️

Sir Pentious 🐍

Vox 🖥️

Valentino 😎

Velvette 💀

Alastor 🩸

HELLUVA BOSS

Blitzø 😈

That’s it~ ❤️‍🔥

SALLY FACE

Sal Fisher 🎸

Larry Johnson

Ashely Campbell 💜

ARCANE

Sorry! I no longer write for Arcane 💔 if you requested something for Arcane, I won’t be getting to it. I really do apologize, I’ve just lost my motivation to write for this fandom. Thanks for understanding 😌

WILL DO:

-NOW WRITING SMUT* 😏 (I’ll write smut for all characters besides Pidge VLD)

-fluff

-angst and dark themes

-x reader

-most ships

-gender bent characters

-specifics- if you want to request some ultra specific shit, plz be my guest. Be as specific as you want

-different AU (just specify in your request if you want an alternate universe)

WON’T DO:

-rape or non con**

-any ships that are between a minor and an adult. Plz don’t ask thank you.

*when requesting anything involving smut, plz specify gender/gender identity or I can write two separate fics, one for AFAB (assigned female at birth) readers and one for AMAB (assigned male at birth) readers. Idk I’m new to writing smut so just lmk what exactly you want

**while I will not write rape or non consensual smut, I have no problem writing about s*xual assault in the past tense. As someone with a ton of past sexual trauma, I wish there were more x reader fics about reader having sexual trauma, being comforted, dealing with their triggers, ect. We all deserve to feel validated.

Side note: I try my very hardest to not only write the reader as gender neutral, but I also try to avoid putting any details about skin color/race/nationality, height, weight, hair type/length, ect. unless it’s specifically requested. I don’t mind writing fem!reader or like a drastic height difference or even a plot pertaining to body type or skin color if it’s specifically requested. I want everyone and anyone who reads my stuff to be able to imagine themselves in the story, regardless of what they may look like or identify as. PLEASE correct me if you notice any kind of detail that makes you feel excluded as the reader. WE ARE ALL ABOUT INCLUSIVITY ON THIS PAGE ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🤎🖤🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈✊🏻✊🏽✊🏿

Thanks for reading and supporting!

[wellntruly]

M*A*S*H (not that one)

I went to Manderley again--rewatched the Altman M*A*S*H. Completely worrying pattern, being nearly exactly one year after the first time I saw it. If I end up watching M*A*S*H (1970) in the last weeks of August every year that’s going to wind me up on some sort of list. By women. And they’ll be right.

I hadn’t known at first, but the eventual realization was as inevitable as anything in the movie, a sort of regrettable slide of “no, I’m gonna.” Why does anyone do the things they do in M*A*S*H. Why does anyone do M*A*S*H. Both of these questions don’t have question marks because it’s just already happening.

There are some attenuating circumstances, sure. War, weather, Robert Altman, a friend, a kind of numb seeking for the sword of time that will pierce your skin. Elliott Gould, probably, also. 

If you embark on a Hot ‘70s Summer, you don’t actually leave it. Winter just falls, and you go into that mode of the ‘70s, bundling up in inadequate materials against the cold, and still somehow, feel cozy. But before that turn, those still, hot weeks hanging hazy at the top of the year, the most Hot ‘70s Summer, 1970, the most ‘70 movie to ever exist: Robert Altman’s M*A*S*H. 

I was an hour and thirty minutes into it before I remembered with a little twitch that at some point, in the beginning, this was set in the 1950s. Hilarious to recall. Maybe it’s the 1950s in Richard Hooker’s book about his time in a Korean War field hospital, also titled M*A*S*H; I do not know. I simply know it is not the 1950s here, it is well 1969 precisely, at filming, and America has just achieved its dismal high water mark for the number of troops currently deployed in Vietnam. This is Vietnam. It’s not Korea, it’s not Japan, it’s the crest of the Vietnam War in a mountain park in California, and a nation knew that immediately, knew that with everything they had, which was mostly nihilism. 

M*A*S*H (1970) dir. Robert Altman is probably the most historically specific film object I have ever seen. You cannot navigate, valuably, anything this movie is doing outwith its historical and cultural context. Some works of art are timeless, and on the other end there is M*A*S*H, made OF time, yanked out of the fabric of it with film cameras rolling and a sound mix that says: all of it, and that act winds up changing what will happen--historically, culturally--as time continues on.

M*A*S*H is its time. It meets America head-on, and leers. It’s not that it breaks something in the culture, it just reflects back something that was already broken, the people already scarring over. M*A*S*H only works if you’re watching it knowing that. Not to be didactic. Something the movie resolutely refuses to be, at any moment, which causes audiences today, removed from the milieu, to question, alarmed, do they know? Do they know that they're awful? Oh yes. Do they also take delight in their being awful? Oho yes. We are all broken. :).

The tagline of this movie, still on a lot of the posters you’ll see, was “M*A*S*H gives a D*A*M*N.” This is so curious to me. It is either a straight up lie, or a key. This would appear a movie predominately peopled with characters who seem, in kind of post-modern incongruity with their surroundings, almost implacably non-committal. Removed, irreverent, careless. Sure it turns callous, sure in trying to deflect the stupid brutality of war they often just end up turning brutal stupidity onto others. A catalog of non-definite acts, something to mask the desperation.

I think a lot about this one Chris Fleming video where he said something like, “ever since my parents grasped that a movie can still be good even if it doesn’t make you feel good, they’ve been going absolutely ham at the independent theater.” Realizing this really does open up your world, and also gets you on lists (I deserve to be there!!). This is how lightly sweating in a slowly turning fan at the end of summer you think, mm, gonna watch M*A*S*H… 

Why? Vibes. But the vibes are bad. Yeah I know. But they’re also….I think the phrase I used in a message to the friend I first watched this movie with, as soon as those opening credits started playing over me again, was “badly enchanting.” There’s something about the way it looks, the way it sounds. Khaki-colored sunlight and dirt and those Japanese covers of old standards playing through a PA system. That Altman calling card layered up dialogue where they somehow arrange it just-so so that you still hear the parts you’re supposed to, god.

This is how you end up saying, oh this movie is not like, a nice time, I occasionally quite dislike the sensation of watching it, and yet also, sometimes it's just what I want to watch. I don’t know, it’s AltM*A*S*H. One minute I’m thinking, incredible that you thought this was funny, and then the next I’m like, you are the only people who understand this particular thing I think is funny. Primarily in that though it’s three things: 1. unhinged heavily metatextual opening and closing pacing & especially this narrating voice at the end just being like “welp, that was that” and rapidly rehashing clips of the cast at ever increasing speed, 2. two Bud Cort moments, 3. GaryBurghoffRadarO’Reilly.

This is the juncture where I get off actually, because if I keep going in this mode about the completely insane thing that somehow happened next, to M*A*S*H and to me, M*A*S*H (1972-1983), we'd be here 10 years and I would die, whichever comes first.

But I will tell you one thing! Just one thing!!! If I’m in what, 1972, much like I was 2022, and they’re like, there’s gonna be a M*A*S*H TV show, and the one person who will be the same is that kid Radar, I’m like oh, of course, the most character who can travel between worlds performance of all time.

[official-batwoman]

IT'S NATIONAL ENCOURAGEMENT DAY‼️‼️

You are...

FUCKING AWESOME ‼️

You saw life's challenges and you said "yeah I can take that"

TAKE TODAY WITH STRIDE AND GET A CHOCOLATE MILK SHAKE BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT.

It's also National chocolate Milk shake day

Wow this was some aggressive encouragement, I like it!

Thank you this means a lot to me- you know I think I will treat myself to some choclate milkshake today, mm yeah sounds delicious.

[amostimprobabledream]

My quick thoughts on the newest episode:

I know The Deep is an idiot but I'm kind of enjoying these little moments of petty torments he's getting this season. Chase Crawford is just so charismatic he makes The Deep so fun.

I feel really bad for Ashley - I have a feeling A-Train is going to get her killed just like he did Popclaw.

Also...the writers remember Homelander can tell when people are lying, right? Like, I feel like he must have some suspicion that A-Train isn't on board, you'd think that he'd heard his heartbeat going crazy when he mentions finding a traitor. I'm pretty sure Sage knows.

I LOVE the hate-hate dynamic with Butcher and Starlight. Like, they've interacted before but the only thing they can agree on is that Hughie deserves to be protected at all costs. But it's so fun to watch, especially since Butcher needs someone who doesn't lie down and obey him like Hughie, Frenchie and MM do and tbh Starlight needs knocking off her pedestal. (They've really dialled up the self-righteous righteousness from Season 3, haven't they? Her going "You are a MONSTER and I will STOP YOU!" was wild.)

I do like that Butcher was defending Kimiko to his definitely real friend though. Remember in Season One when he was the most vocally opposed to her joining? Now he considers her one of them.

Oh? What's this? Ryan actually doing something interesting on his own for once? Well, better late than never, I guess.

The flying animals thing was so fucking stupid. I know this show plays fast and loose with physics and the suspension of disbelief but that was like something out of The Little Vampire.

I refuse to believe Stan Edgar actually genuinely loves Victoria and/or Zoe - he just sees them as useful tools so it behoves him to not be overtly abusive like Vogelbaum was to Homelander.

Kind of enjoyed Starlight and Victoria's little catfight too.

The scenes with Hughie and his dad were heartbreaking. Like, Simon Pegg did nothing for like two seasons, then came in and knocked it out of the park.

I want Firecracker to get to do something cool. Or fuck Homelander. Either or.

I hate Hughie's mom.

Where the fuck is this storyline with Frenchie going? I'm glad he and Starlight had a conversation and they touched on both of their religious roots, I feel like Starlight growing up in a religious home kind of got pushed to the side midway through Season 2. I'm also wondering if her mother is going to reappear, they brought back Hughie's family subplot and they made a point of mentioning her after Firecracker aired Starlight's laundry on national TV.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Tanya Gold has a Guest Essay in the NYT today that has me seriously wondering who is this person and how exactly she is connected to Harold and MM.

Tanya Gold has a Guest Essay in the NYT today that has me seriously wondering who is this person and how exactly she is connected to Harold and MM. Entitled Harry Is a More Interesting Prince Than We Deserved https://ift.tt/6xrLoN8 reads like something written by a true believer who has drunk frequently from the well of Harry and Meghan Kool Aid. Here are some examples: Like his mother, Princess Diana, Harry has been an instrument all his life. The Windsor family is Britain’s national pantomime and he was cast at birth — long before he could give consent — to be the shade to the sunlight of his brother, William. Harold walking behind Diana's funeral cortege was because his presence [was] necessary to protect his father’s reputation. It incorporates the "leaking and planting" theme: As a teenager and young adult, Harry’s every error was noted or leaked. When he smoked cannabis, his father arranged for a visit to a detox center for heroin addicts as a “short, sharp shock,” and then the story was leaked and his father spun as his rescuer. [BTW, drugs are an "error."]It repeats narrative that M was "abused" by the racist UK press: when she was abused by the British media — which happens to all women who marry into the family, but this was a racist, classist and xenophobic variation — he did something sensible and loving for his new family: He left Britain. It characterizes the Oprah interview, NF, Spare, and his litigation portfolio as "redemption."I read “Spare” as a portrait of an abusive childhood and an act of whistle-blowing. [Abusive childhood? Is she talking about the King? Diana? Act of whistle-blowing? Better to whistle blow the bullying allegations of Palace employees if you ask me.]And the coup de grace: But Harry is brave, and he has found his battlefield. I think if he could, he would bring it all down — the monarchy, the media, the whole awful dance. We did not have his consent. [This sounds a lot like Jenny Aifa vis a vis the security litigation: He "inherited a security risk, at birth, for life" etc.]How very disappointing it is to see the NYT still affirmatively taking up for Harold and his wife at this point. One might think with all the unmasking that has happened, the NY would at least sit on the sidelines quietly while these 2 continue to self-destruct. But no. ​​ Submitted June 11, 2023 at 11:50PM by Von_und_zu_ https://ift.tt/LmEZnOb via /r/SaintMeghanMarkle

[fangirleaconmigo]

I finally started watching The Boys.

It’s been on my “to watch” list for years but I was just standing on the precipice wondering…is it actual satire? Is is intelligent? Or is it try-hard-edgy-bois using a flimsy excuse to create the thing it’s satirizing? It’s peoples’ responses to it and some of the marketing that had me wondering.

But my sister and my son started watching it and told me I’d love it so I did.

And it’s really really good.

I got through S1 in a matter of days. I just finished the season premiere of S2. Here are my spoiler ridden thoughts:

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Wow it is addictive and bingeable and the characters are all flawed and infuriating in such REAL and HUMAN ways that you are like psychoanalyzing them and super super into all of their lives and dramas. It’s good ass food and compelling storytelling.

The themes of private companies involved in national defense and criminal justice are appropriately fucking dystopian.

Yes. Ok. There are many disturbing bits. I almost didn’t keep watching because of what happened to Annie. I just don’t trust people to write that shit well. But it has surprised me that it has. It has focused it all on her growth and what that means for her. It’s not reveling in her pain or sensationalizing it. But she’s very human and it focuses on her growth in a way that feels authentic. I was raised by fundamentalist baptist (a much more hardcore version of how she was raised) so I feel it every time she is disillusioned. It’s so real.

And as for the gore and violence it is just campy enough to be fine (you can’t take it too seriously when Butcher is using an infant to shoot at people 😂)

And as for the anti-supe crew (I am sure the fandom has a name for them):

Was there ever a more precious crew of violent murderers and criminals?

Frenchy is just unbelievable and sweet. They get busted and gassed and there are armed men pouring in to fuck them up and he runs to the door where the immortal supe is setting up camp (Kimiko is like, you’ll get the bathroom back when I’m done looking adorable and she was so right for that) and puts a towel under the door so the gas doesn’t get to her. Just stuff like that. Unbelievable. Perfect. No notes.

MM, (i can’t call him mothers milk after seeing Homelander chug the breast milk) is SO FUCKING GORGEOUS AND HUGGABLE and loves his family and helps struggling kids as his job. He is firm but kind with Hughie. I’m obsessed. I just stare at him with my little heart eyes.

And speaking of Hughie

Oh god I usually could not give a shit less about the romances but Hughie and Annie are so precious. It’s because it was not initially based on romance or attraction at all. Hughie was grieving but he was attracted to how honest and vulnerable and good she was. He palpably admires her and respects her as a human being and it’s so touching. And when she got her moment to rescue him and the sparks were going from the ceiling a la Castiel in Lazarus Rising I was like Ahhhhh Bahahhahaha 😍😍 I’m rooting hard for those kids.

Ok shorter thoughts

I love the kind of bastard Butcher is. The kind of character that has an understandable obsession but who loses himself in it to the detriment of others.

I love how many compelling, hardcore, older women there are in it. One role I notice people have a hard time envisioning women in, is the older, flinty, world weary advisor, so I loved Mallory.

I’m sad the MILFs are dropping like flies (Jennifer Esposito I am free on Wednesday but also Thursday and Friday and really any day just call me pls) but it is what it is.

Holy shit the guy the plays Homelander is so good and creepy and terrifying and he makes my skin crawl.

Maeve baby leave him. You are tired I get that but pls go to your girlfriend. I want to hug this woman so badly.

I hope Kimiko gets a bigger role soon. Her character has so much potential and deserves to take up more of the narrative.

Ok that’s it. On to S2.

[yutzen]

Reminiscing by Candlelight

(Another from the archives, back to two of the earliest members, having a quiet moment adrift. Prompt by Impressions of Detail back on Cohost)

Candles in paper boats, set adrift on the blackness of an undergroud sea.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come right onboard, Ziv. More than big enough for the both of us. Yes, right over there, to keep it balanced- no, right over there, you're not that heavy and you know it. Don't start. Mind the candles, the idea's to light them deeper in."

"Surprised? ...Yes, I've never been much of a traditionalist, haven't I? There's reasons for that. But this... this I can respect. Long story."

"...you sure about that, then? You're asking for the full story, you get the full story, you know I got Vel beat at rambling with the right topic."

"Lending an ear like yours, you sure spoil me, Ziv. Alright, where do I start... One thing about history, usually when you look into how a thing got started, how a given custom or group was founded... it hacks at the mystique of it. You get these beginnings that are stupidly mundane at best. And at worst? You find origins you should be ashamed of. Feats of heroism that inspired entire holidays, you look into it and you find exaggeration and fabrication. Entire people invented from whole cloth, and those who did exist were barely worth noting, if not outright cowards, or even thugs with cleansed names. You look at families that brag of their lineage, and you ever so rarely find anyone close to decent, with the biggest braggarts having their ancestors slathered in lies. And that is disheartening enough, mm?"

"Less than the Western kingdoms, but it still happens, yes. I get the feeling they're trying to make up for how little they have to brag about in themselves when they do that. Now, me, I don't have that problem... don't look at me like that, the Consortium isn't a kingdom and I barely even know who your mom is, let alone any of your ancestors. Do Vezarym just not look back...?"

"Anyhow, back on track. Lineages, events, holidays, and all the fabrication to go with them, that's problem enough. But those are just pieces of the whole matter. After that, you look at the whole. You look at your own country, the nation you're told you should be proud of... and you find that it began with a cataclysmic fuckup that all present should've seen coming. You find ancestors that were either so idiotic, or so awful, that they invited a horror to ruin everything they had. You find their mistake is haunting you and everyone you know to this day. You look over the horizon - that exact horizon right over there in fact - and see the consequences, looming right over you and everyone you know. And you think... did they even deserve to make it this far? To found a nation all around fleeing their own self-inflicted ruin? And asking that when you're nominally a part of said nation, and definitely one of their people... it takes the wind out of your sails, you know?"

"You don't need to- ...alright, fine, come here. Only because no one's seen us here. Just mind the balance. I'm fine, I've made my peace with it so far. It's why I'm doing what I'm doing... is this just an excuse to squish me? Don't-"

"Okay, good. I was getting to that, in fact. This encroaching, toxic darkness the East is infamous for, you know that one, yes? It's right over there... And, in fact, we could row to it right now if we wanted to. No, we do not want to, because we have better things to be doing than smashing every source of light we see, don't we? The thing is, said darkness wasn't always here in these caverns. It followed us here, after my ancestors tried to run from it. After calling it to begin with, mind you... And that last part is important, because it meant they also knew what they were dealing with."

"Mm~. It has everything to do with it, Ziv. You all keep forgetting that regular old darkness is just a lack of light, while whatever is spilling out the Exit to our old lands is something beyond that. Something that actively fights the light, even as it's fended off. Get deep enough and you can see it smother it out like someone pinching a candle's wick... which is a really appropriate metaphor now that I said it. Except that this darkness can't chose not to try and put the light out, because it's a force in itself, and like just about every tutor in Ishiss will tell you, forces will always mindlessly do what they do... that sounds better in my language, by the way."

"Good, you're catching on. The thing is, it's not steady: sometimes it pushes forwards, and it's good to be forewarned when that happens. So this all started, long ago, with some sentries that wanted to see it coming and have time to retreat and sound the alarm. So all around the edges of our territory, the border sentries would space out slow-burn torches, one after the other, and see when they flickered and died to know when it was time to raise the alarm. Hence the saying, Ushir-Ruq, "flame in the dark", when you've got something that's meant to fall first and act only as a warning..."

"...you've heard that one before?"

"Ziv, you have a talent in adding people to my shitlist, you know that?"

"Let's just leave the thoughts about toasting to me, mm? And leave them for later, I meant this as a wind-down. So, where was I... flames in the dark, right. So, the thing with Ishiss, it's got water borders too, and this particular lake is enormous. And the sentries couldn't just plop a torch in the middle of the lake for obvious reasons, and so, they instead resorted to setting candles afloat. Back then they were propped with cheap, light fungiwood, because they didn't need that many, just a few that'd stay put in this place..."

"Yes, the paper came later, right with those that weren't sentries themselves, it was cheaper for them after all. Some of the fishers and moss-farmers that lived by the lake saw these displays, these lights in the water, and for one reason or another started to add their own. Maybe they wanted their own warnings... or maybe they thought it was a pretty sight, watching these flickers of flame drifting in the still waters. Can't blame them if that's what did it... but soon enough, everyone who set out into the waters pitched in their own little paper boat with a candle of its own. And since we're Ifchi after all, everyone sets out into the water at some point or another, and so found these lights, and added their own..."

"It's a big lake, but I guess it did get crowded around the shore, because the border guard put some limits on it all, from what I could track - they got lifted ages ago, but still, it stuck. One candle per name, it was... and since this was paper, they kept track by simply writing said names on the boats. And then those that still wanted to keep the dark at bay or just look at a horizon full of candles, they started laying some for those that weren't there. Maybe it was an excuse at first, "you can't prove they didn't come and laid theirs down" while turning around and telling their pals, "all those lights are mine". But maybe it did start out laying a candle for someone who couldn't take to the water that day, and someone had the idea of laying one out for an old friend that couldn't take to the water, because they were too far away... for one reason or another. Maybe they aren't Ifchi, maybe they've moved to the other end of these caverns... or maybe they passed on to whatever comes next, if anything. Whatever the reason, you lit a candle in their name, and set it to sail in the dark. Because you hadn't forgotten them. Because you knew they'd be there with you if they could."

"Hand me a few, we're right in the spot for it. They're prettier up close, mm?"

"I don't go into Ishiss a lot anymore, you know exactly why. But the lake's big enough to get lost in, and what attention is just another boat gonna draw? Another one adding to the layer of lights that keeps the dark at bay, or at least under watch? No, it's peaceful here. No one's ever given me trouble out here, boat or not. It's... quiet, here. I've spent hours just looking at the ceiling, watching the quartz crawlers passing by, shining down on me... And honestly, adding a candle of my own, it's something. A little help to everyone down here, and a spit in the face of this darkness that tries to threaten us. Someone's gotta tell it to go fuck itself. And one for everyone else, mm? It's... well, more insults in the face of this stygian nightmare, sure, but it's... nice, to set out a pretty reminder. A light for memories' sake. A little acknowledgement for those that aren't here..."

"'Usherrimi Neshi Anei Var'... And that's mine. Yes, that's the whole thing, before you ask, you know how we are, but I feel if there's any place to use the whole name it's here... Now, I've been adding one for you for a few years already, care to do the honors this ti- GHOUF"

"TOO TIGHT-"

"Gah! Lords below where the fuck did you get a grip like that!?"

"Right, right. Look, I just... knew it's something you'd want to do if you weren't running all over the underground all the time, mm? It's the least I could do, like a bare minimum. It was about time you joined in on it, don't you think? Plus, I was never sure if Ziv-Ziri was the whole thing or not. And besides... I know you have a far more names to set afloat than I ever would. "

"Yes, that is in fact why I brought this many. I wasn't sure, so I overdid it just in case. Set as many as you can think of, it'll answer a few questions of mine. Here, a pencil... And a light~"

"You know me, Ziv, I wasn't about to not show off. And besides, looking into the water like this, with my gills like their own candles while the lake's still as a mirror like this... it's a treat of its own, mm? Still, take as long as you need, I can do this for hours if I want to..."

"...don't think I've ever told you this but I really like your handwriting. That might've been another reason, looking back."