#mlem yapping their ass off moment

[themlemever]

I'm sorry, but I have to yap about this Sam & Max Fullmetal Alchemist AU (Freelance Alchemists I guess) or I'll die <3

WE'RE ANGSTING THE SHIT OUT OF THE GAYS WITH THIS ONE.

Essentially it's Sam & Max characters in the FMA universe, so everything takes place in Amestris.

Instead of them being brothers who fucked up because they wanted their mother back (they have to be gay married in every universe I don't make the rules.) they're in their twenties and depressed as fuck. Basically, they were raising their daughter, Darla, (She probably wouldn't go by the Geek in this au but maybe I'll change my mind later.) but eventually she became ill like Ed and Al's mother.

Then she died. Sorry Geek fans but it's for character development.

Sam and Max are obviously grief-stricken and turn to Alchemy. Human transmutation happens and badabing badaboom Max is left with two missing limbs and a dead husband bound to a suit of armor with his blood. Romantic? Now they get to travel to find a Philosopher's Stone because they can't live without each other.

Girl Stinky and Grandpa Stinky take the place of Winry and Granny, I enjoy the concept of Sam having to watch his husband argue with his automail engineer because he fights like a feral animal.

Sybil would take Izumi's place, I think her learning/teaching alchemy with them would be cute. Until it's not and she dabbles in human transmutation to bring her kid back too. (Have you learned nothing?) Idk about Abe though, I might replace him with Superball because no one likes Abe.

Flint Paper could take Maes Hughes' place, two silly guys that get along with the main characters. I'm sure nothing bad will happen to him :)

The Commissioner would be Roy Mustang, it just feels right. That would also mean he'd be the Flame Alchemist and I don't know how to feel about that.

The short Ed jokes becoming short Max jokes and Sam being mistaken for the state alchemist between the too, it makes too much sense.

Some of the FMA cast would still stick around, they'd just be a bit more unhinged. (Not too much tho.)

I think they would both feel guilty about what happened but Max more so. He'd end up trying to cover that up by acting more cynical/sassy, (think of his Hit the Road characterization) and he'd be a bit smarter than normal due to having to be good enough at alchemy to become state-certified.

Sam would be somewhat the same, mainly to keep Max under control otherwise he'd wreak havoc with the ability to transmute without a circle. I say only somewhat because he'd be more protective of Max after the incident, touch the bnnuy and you'll get hell from both of them. He'd also be the one to convince Max to wear clothes, the state wouldn't let him be an official state alchemist if he just paraded around naked. ("Facist oppressors."/ref)

And yes, Sam would take great offense to the term; "Dog of the military."

Thank you for coming to my yapping session, I'll add more if I feel like it.

Give me suggestions too and I'll judge/insult them./j

[themlemever]

Sam and Max: Can't have shit in this house/j

This sounds like the makings of a really good fanfic. Of which I will not write because I'll probably fuck it up. I also never thought about Asian-decent Max before. (I headcanon him as Hispanic) Also, burning down the tree with the cat in it, I'm deceased.

Sam and Max dreams: Extra long yap edition

I had a dream where Sam and Max had a new game coming out. This was the plot:

Sam's egregiously stereotyped Irish parents and Max's very abusive (and equally racistly depicted) Asian parents came to visit their boys one day, out of the blue. Sam and Max panic. Why? Because their parents are horribly homophobic and don't know Sam and Max are married. The two sets of parents refuse to leave their respective son's side, to make sure the other doesn't "try anything funny" (and by that they mean they suspect the other child to be gay, but not their perfect child. Oh no, not them. They raised them to be better than that) they come along on every mission and make it two thousand times harder than it needs to be just by being themselves. Cat stuck in a tree? Max's mom sets the tree on fire because she hates cats. Presidential debate? They're both sharing their respective kid's greatest fears and weaknesses the candidate can exploit via embarrassing stories from their son's childhood.

Anyways, the ending of the game has Sam and Max in a life or death situation, where out of fear for their incoming demise, They announce their love to each other. After surviving the encounter, their parents are so moved by the display of true love that they decide for the good of their children they'll try their best to be less homophobic. The end.

I would love to see what name for this game y'all come up with. Sam and Max: double the trouble? Sam and Max: a queer catastrophe? I'm sure y'all will do a much better job than I could

[themlemever]

I can't listen to music without thinking of Sam and Max, the brainrot is consuming my soul.

Especially Mitski, I don't know why they feel so Mitski coded.

Me and my Husband - So trying to cope with the events of 305.

Francis Forever - Max fixing the elevator.

I Want You - It gives off 305 vibes, not much relation lyrics wise but I saw an edit with the song playing and I've associated the two ever since.

Carry Me Out - Same thing as the last one, but it was fanart

I Bet on Losing Dogs - Swap 305, I do not need to explain why. If you've heard it then you know.

[themlemever]

Ok, I have to complain before I go to sleep because fuck you that's why/j

Consider this a Fox family lore drop.

So I've mentioned a few times that my mother sucks, like, she's the most awful human being I know. This year, she got divorced, for a second time actually. She was being a dick about it and one of the dumb things she did was take my phone.

My old phone was under my ex-step-father's name and she had to give it back because of the divorce, HOWEVER 💥💥 It wasn't supposed to happen until I got a new phone.

So I was supremely pissed when she knocked on the door one day and told me to factory reset the phone without giving me the option to tell her to wait a damn minute. I went like a week without a phone and almost lost my email with fucking all of my accounts attached to it but eh. My aunt got me my current phone (half of the money spent was mine)

But with the old phone went my VENMO ACCOUNT. Without access to that I couldn't see how much money was on the card, and I didn't want to give my mother my new number to fix that issue (and that turned into a whole thing the day before my birthday)

I still have the card itself but it's pretty much useless.

I don't think i even had the thing for a full year like bro-

[themlemever]

So I'm sitting on the toilet and I just heard this "plink" sound, like a metal ding or a weird guitar string being plucked the wrong way.

Wtf?

[themlemever]

I wanna post about my au I'm cooking but my anxiety and depression riddled brain is like "nono don't do it no one cares✨️"

Like bitch I already have a reference sheet for the character I made cuz I was fucking bored

I have a Google doc just to contain the lore/plot

I hate the lizard that lives in my skull

[themlemever]

Bros wait

I've been posting about Eight & Four: Freelance Agents, and have completely forgotten about the au I've been secretly cooking

I'm so sorry, my son 😟

And Freelance Alchemists is trapped outside because I forgot they were there and locked the door-

[themlemever]

Me watching all of my moots doing silly cool moot things while I'm dying from leprosy (really tired and struggling to find the motivation to finish anything I've been working on)

[themlemever]

GUYS OMG

I'M REWATCHING BROTHERHOOD AND ED ACTUALLY SAYS "It's none of your damn business." OMG OMG MAX AS ED FITS TOO WELL

I'm sorry, but I have to yap about this Sam & Max Fullmetal Alchemist AU (Freelance Alchemists I guess) or I'll die <3

WE'RE ANGSTING THE SHIT OUT OF THE GAYS WITH THIS ONE.

Essentially it's Sam & Max characters in the FMA universe, so everything takes place in Amestris.

Instead of them being brothers who fucked up because they wanted their mother back (they have to be gay married in every universe I don't make the rules.) they're in their twenties and depressed as fuck. Basically, they were raising their daughter, Darla, (She probably wouldn't go by the Geek in this au but maybe I'll change my mind later.) but eventually she became ill like Ed and Al's mother.

Then she died. Sorry Geek fans but it's for character development.

Sam and Max are obviously grief-stricken and turn to Alchemy. Human transmutation happens and badabing badaboom Max is left with two missing limbs and a dead husband bound to a suit of armor with his blood. Romantic? Now they get to travel to find a Philosopher's Stone because they can't live without each other.

Girl Stinky and Grandpa Stinky take the place of Winry and Granny, I enjoy the concept of Sam having to watch his husband argue with his automail engineer because he fights like a feral animal.

Sybil would take Izumi's place, I think her learning/teaching alchemy with them would be cute. Until it's not and she dabbles in human transmutation to bring her kid back too. (Have you learned nothing?) Idk about Abe though, I might replace him with Superball because no one likes Abe.

Flint Paper could take Maes Hughes' place, two silly guys that get along with the main characters. I'm sure nothing bad will happen to him :)

The Commissioner would be Roy Mustang, it just feels right. That would also mean he'd be the Flame Alchemist and I don't know how to feel about that.

The short Ed jokes becoming short Max jokes and Sam being mistaken for the state alchemist between the too, it makes too much sense.

Some of the FMA cast would still stick around, they'd just be a bit more unhinged. (Not too much tho.)

I think they would both feel guilty about what happened but Max more so. He'd end up trying to cover that up by acting more cynical/sassy, (think of his Hit the Road characterization) and he'd be a bit smarter than normal due to having to be good enough at alchemy to become state-certified.

Sam would be somewhat the same, mainly to keep Max under control otherwise he'd wreak havoc with the ability to transmute without a circle. I say only somewhat because he'd be more protective of Max after the incident, touch the bnnuy and you'll get hell from both of them. He'd also be the one to convince Max to wear clothes, the state wouldn't let him be an official state alchemist if he just paraded around naked. ("Facist oppressors."/ref)

And yes, Sam would take great offense to the term; "Dog of the military."

Thank you for coming to my yapping session, I'll add more if I feel like it.

Give me suggestions too and I'll judge/insult them./j

[bbloveseevees]

THE MLEM VENT

IT’S HERE

Ok, I have to complain before I go to sleep because fuck you that's why/j

Consider this a Fox family lore drop.

So I've mentioned a few times that my mother sucks, like, she's the most awful human being I know. This year, she got divorced, for a second time actually. She was being a dick about it and one of the dumb things she did was take my phone.

My old phone was under my ex-step-father's name and she had to give it back because of the divorce, HOWEVER 💥💥 It wasn't supposed to happen until I got a new phone.

So I was supremely pissed when she knocked on the door one day and told me to factory reset the phone without giving me the option to tell her to wait a damn minute. I went like a week without a phone and almost lost my email with fucking all of my accounts attached to it but eh. My aunt got me my current phone (half of the money spent was mine)

But with the old phone went my VENMO ACCOUNT. Without access to that I couldn't see how much money was on the card, and I didn't want to give my mother my new number to fix that issue (and that turned into a whole thing the day before my birthday)

I still have the card itself but it's pretty much useless.

I don't think i even had the thing for a full year like bro-