#mix of got a job so i do the quests on the weekends

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

What did you think of Cynos quest?

i'll get back to you on this one once i've actually played it lmao

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello,

I need help. Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I need someone to tell me to stop worrying? Oh let’s be honest I have no idea what I need, that’s why I’m writing in.

See, I have a perfectly ordinary job during the week. I work in an office. It’s nice. Spreadsheets, cake on birthdays, quarterlies. It’s a boring existence but my afternoons and evenings are my own and the pay’s good. Sapio-Liminal relations are improving, but by bit. Honestly I’m just impressed my coworker got the time off when they wound up expecting in two of their three dimensional shifts.

So that’s during the week and you’d be forgiven for thinking I’m just about the most sapio a sapio can be. My liminal properties tend to activate on Friday afternoons, when I- travel.

Teleport?

Move. I move. To the same general area of a whole new plane of existence. It’s a known family trait- I’ve got a grandfather who became king of a small nation in my secondary plane, and my sister’s the apothecary for the capital city. She sells the really good potions, by the way, so if you’re in the area of Spirits and Sundries or someone gives you a radiant quest to bring ingredients to Amaranthia in the Bronze Quarter, just be polite and she’ll fix you right up.

Ah, but this isn’t about my sister’s business, it’s about me and what I do. See, this shift is so regular that I went and got myself a weekend job, just to have something to do. So if you’re sent to the Caves of Madness just north of the Foresaken Forest, be ready for the Riddle Master!

I’m in the first room of the dungeon, just after you pass the initial key puzzle. I keep my uniform in a chest in there, and there’ s a nice break room off the back. I like the work a lot! I see lots of new people and I’m always gathering riddles- there are some chat standards but I like to mix it up sometimes. They aren’t supposed to be hard, or else what’s the point of trying to conquer a dungeon? So sometimes, I admit, I give hints. There’s always the rude adventurer who attacks me first but when you take a job like this you don’t die, it’s in the fine print. I don’t like cleaning the blood off my stuff, though. Takes ages.

Anyway now that we’ve walked halfway around the block, my point.

I look very plain. Humanoid, two arms, two legs, a beard. It’s never bothered me but I am very distinctly ordinary which tends to be recognizable and last weekend I was in the village during my break and I saw a coworker. Not from this side, not from the Caves of Madness, no. It was Tina, from accounting. She was picking up a quest by the stocks.

And I realized, she might wind up at the Caves of Madness. She might make it through the puzzle door and be faced with the Riddle Master only to realize this Riddle Master is Jeff. From the office.

I don’t have hangups about my two worlds meeting- it’s hard to, when your sister pops in for Christmas still dressed for the Winterscratch Festival, or your brother’s filing out taxes for a whole kingdom over lunch. I just really like my job in the Caves, and I like to think I do it well. Our rating as a starter dungeon’s quite high, and I’m proud of that. What if my transdimensional adventurer coworkers encounter me and just- aren’t impressed? That’s not the Riddle Master, that’s Jeff. He has a rubber band launcher on his desk. His mug says ‘party naked’ with a balding chicken on it and he won’t let HR throw it away.

I don’t want to disappoint adventurers, especially not ones who work with me in my primary plane. I also don’t want to cause harm to my dungeon’s reputation. But aside from the whole ‘moving planes’ thing I am utterly dull. What do I do if my performance isn’t enough to make up for not being fantastical like Mordrath the end room boss or Reyala the sidequest kobold queen?

Is it okay to just be Jeff the Riddle Master?

Thank you for writing in, reader. Your letter serves as an excellent example of quite a common genre of letter we get through the inbox here at the Nightfolk Network and I think it might be rather illustrative for other followers.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but what you've done here is make up a scenario in your head based on the worst possible interpretations of everyone involved, and then worried yourself sick about that scenario coming to pass.

This may sound a little blunt, but please understand, I don't mean that dismissively. I only hope to offer you a little perspective, and to help you come to a more accurate understanding of the situation as it actually stands.

You enjoy your work in the dungeon, and are clearly doing a good enough job to keep your managers happy. None of your previous visitors have expressed any disappointment at your relatively mundane appearance, and it hasn't been an obstacle in the job so far.

Perhaps your co-worker will end up in your dungeon. Perhaps she'll make it to your section, and perhaps she'll recognise you. So what? I don't see any reason why she should be any more likely to be disappointed by you than any of your other visitors.

And even if she is disappointed, that doesn't have to mean anything to you. She's a co-worker, not a treasured friend whose opinion could make or break your self-esteem. You owe it to her to be a conscientious, respectful colleague. That's all. What you get up to outside of work, and whether she enjoys your efforts, is irrelevant.

You haven't let down your dungeon so far, and I see no reason to believe you will in the future. Stop borrowing trouble from the future, and concentrate on having fun and being the same old Jeff the Riddle Master you've always been. He seems plenty interesting to me.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[bittenrabbit]

what a weekend!!! its feb 11th

(mtg draft, pretzels, life stuff)

the biggest thing on my mind at the moment is how the suns rays lit up my girlfriend over the course of the morning. i'm struggling to find the words to explain but it was breathtaking waking up next to her?¿?¿ wow. her hair shimmers like bronze its crazy

ok so to the week

it was so jam packed! I went to get a new bank account, took on a quest for candy, met up with riley and got up to shenanigans + got some drinks and caught up with her.. it was really nice! after all of that, i had a few celebrations to do (pj got the job!) it was nice seeing the whole gang back together

over the weekend, we played magic, more magic and i watched her play dave the diver until i fell asleep haha

saturday we went to go get hot chocolate @ edelweiss village. what a hectic store! felt like 6 stores crammed into one small building, it was a lot especially with the lack of clear spots to order & the amount of people (some of which that for some reason wanted to talk to me and others around me)

the hot chocolate was SO GOOD though. Felt like two completely seperate drinks! (+ a pretzel :)) the top layer was a really delectable and rich hot chocolate and the lower layer was an extremely salty caramel drink. you'd have to assume they were supposed to be mixed but i tried my hardest and they didn't seem to want to haha. highly recommend tho

the draft we went to before hot cocoa was really nice too, i sat next to nico and had to pass him soooo many cracked white cards bc i wasnt in those colours lmao... he ended up going 3-0! my deck wasn't too shabby either thouugh, saw 5 fanatical strengths over the course of the draft alongside a whole lot of really good creatures (loxodon eavesdropper my beloved)

deck pictured below!

other than that, pretty chill week :) till next time journal

[charbear177]

8 Shows To Stream Right Now

What to watch next? In the era of endless streaming options and almost too many choices, we can often find ourselves stuck trying to figure out what to watch next. Well, I’ve got some pretty options for you on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, and Apple TV.

Even here in southern California, it's cold outside and the perfect time to curl up on the couch, your favorite chair, or snuggle in bed and enjoy some screen time.

8 Shows to Stream Right Now

Fool Me Once

Widowed mum Maya is disturbed by an image of her late husband captured on her toddler's nanny cam. - IMDB

I had mixed feelings about this series. There are some plot twists and turns and a surprise ending but also some bumps that may make you say hmm. If you enjoy suspense, Fool Me Once may be for you. With eight episodes, it’s an easy weekend binge. Available now on Netflix.

The Bear

A young chef from the fine dining world returns to Chicago to run his family's sandwich shop. -IMDB

Filthy language, intense, anxiety-inducing scenes, and just so good. Seasons one and two are now available on Hulu. Watch now and you can thank me later.

May/December

Twenty years after their notorious tabloid romance gripped the nation, a married couple buckles under pressure when an actress arrives to do research for a film about their past. - IMDB

The movie is a little odd and uncomfortable to watch at times. Still, it will seem familiar to you if you remember the news coverage of Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau. Although the characters are changed slightly, the similarities are obvious and disturbing. The cast does a great job of showing the viewers what we could all imagine as the behind-the-scenes dynamic of a relationship that started with a crime. Watch on Netflix.

Percy Jackson

Demigod Percy Jackson leads a quest across America to prevent a war among the Olympian gods. - IMDB

Based on the Rick Riordan book, Percy Jackson is a family-friendly adventure that you can watch on either Disney Plus or Hulu.

Criminal Record

Follows two brilliant detectives in a tug of war over a historic murder conviction, dealing with issues of race, institutional failure, and the quest to find common ground in a polarized Britain. - IMDB

I am only two episodes into this show, which drops new episodes on Wednesdays on Apple TV, but the premise is promising and the reviews are great. I’m invested in seeing how it ends.

Gran Tourismo

Based on the unbelievable, inspiring true story of a team of underdogs - a struggling, working-class gamer, a failed former race car driver, and an idealistic motorsport exec - who risk it all to take on the most elite sport in the world. - IMDB

The fact that this is a true story is fascinating. The movie is fun, exciting, and family-friendly viewing. You can catch Gran Tourismo now on Netflix.

Saltburn

A student at Oxford University finds himself drawn into the world of a charming and aristocratic classmate, who invites him to his eccentric family's sprawling estate for a summer never to be forgotten. - IMDB

I found this movie strange but entertaining. It is most certainly not family friendly but it is worth giving a watch. It is currently available on Amazon Prime and is free for Prime members.

Reacher

Itinerant former military policeman Jack Reacher solves crimes and metes out his own brand of street justice. - IMDB

Reacher is a great show with a lot of action and excitement and is perfect for a binge day since season two recently dropped. Watch it now on Amazon Prime.

I think I have given you some great options. Enjoy!

[moldy-mold]

June Blog Gotta spice up my life.

Tried out new boba places that have started to open up in Atlanta and I feel like life is worth living again!

-

Plant Saga I swear this is probably the most eventful part of my life.

Hubert the monstera has many new leaves, one successfully became a split leaf but he’s got a ways to go. He’s too small now to create completely split leaves. I think maybe next year...

- I got Lorenz a rose gold planter and it made him more bougie. NICE. I don’t know if anyone cares about mini rose plant care but he did get infected by spider mites because of course he freakin did. I mixed dish soap and water and sprayed him once a week and they disappeared. Every day I have to monitor him for signs of stress and any other possible problems. I think he’s the most high-maintenance plant I currently have and it is very fitting lool.

- Rokurou the Venus Fly Trap keeps eating things. Very typical. I saw him catch a moth that nearly escaped with half of its body still caught in the trap. It was gruesome but I was really psyched to see him catch something other than ants. He is so happy now he even created a flower bud which I had to unfortunately destroy before it bloomed. It really weakens the plant to let it produce flowers. :( Apparently they’re pretty boring and smell bad anyway loool. I need to get him a planter too... - Say hello to Riki the parlor palm! I was trying to think of which character was pointy and tropical. This is a pretty easy plant to care for, I just water him once a week.

My next goal is to get my hands on a pothos! Time to think about names...

-

Projects Last month I began planning out a complete comic series about Rokurou and Eizen. Listen... I am very enthusiastic about their bromance. I work on it every day for a little bit before bed. You can say I was inspired to do this because of the amount of Webtoons I’ve been reading. If they let us post fanart maybe I would have given it a shot haha. Sadly, my only usable social media platforms are not comic-friendly but it’s alright. Based on my progress I’m happy to say that I will be finishing a comic series for once (I’m 95% done). And I never finish anything! I want to launch this project in two weeks but I’ve told myself that I must finish all of my comic pages before I post a single thing. Soon. - I don’t think I’ve shared visuals of what I do at the stationery company I work at. We occasionally get orders for chalkboard bar menus for wedding receptions. I’ll show you the one I illustrated for the client of their pets! I actually met the bride and groom that day (it was also my birthday) and they thanked me like 1000 times and even gave me a huge tip. T_T

Otherwise, my duties include laser cutting and wedding assembly! I would love if this were a full-time job like the old days... - The bakery... I am bros with the cafe owner’s husband. He helps out on weekends and we have synergy. He is very... DAD. For some reason he likes to give me a new life lesson every week I see him. He’s not my dad but I’m still going to tell him Happy Father’s Day. Here’s a text:

-

The Berseria Journey (I will be vague in my commentary) Made a new friend thanks to Berseria! Crying over fics really do bring people together 🥺.

After playing for 6 and a half months, we finally beat the main story... To be fair, we went around the world doing all side quests and optional content. My favorite mini-game was Character Cards!

My roomie and I play together so during the finale she took on the “short one” as Velvet - while I, playing as Rokurou, had an EPIC one-on-one sword fight with the “tall one”. Dodging attacks and countering with Vengeful Stance, the delicious stun attacks. MMM! It was so good. Finished it off with beautiful lvl 3 mystic. *chef kiss*

Uhhhhhh I need time to process that ending because so much was happening in the last 10 minutes of the game. I am still kind of confused but you know what, that’s okay. Maybe my brain will catch up when I do post-game activities.

I wish I had more interesting pictures but we’re having such a hard time getting PS4 recordings to work. Please accept my Snapchats.

Last but not least, to end the blog:

He said wanted the towel. To wear nothing but the towel. It is very much canon, so who am I to deny him?

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia CH.12

It's late Friday night or very early Saturday morning depending on how you want to look at it. You're just laying on your couch playing Stardew Valley when your phone goes off. Without looking you answer it.

“Why are you even up?” comes Kirby's exhausted voice from across the line.

“Medical condition, wbu?” you place the phone in between you ear and shoulder but don't really change your position as you continue with your game.

“Jesus fucking Christ you did not just pronounce 'wbu' like 'wah-bah-u'.” he's ranting a bit and you know from experience this is the tired slap happy ranting where he sets himself off every five minutes on new topics. So, you wait it out and continue your quest in learning the wizard's secrets.

Kirby finally calms down after a few moments to get to the point of why he called. To remind you that Saturday Night Dead was canceled tonight due to the Pride Picnic tomorrow.

“I know.” you said plainly barely paying attention to the ginger on the line.

“You're a little shit.”

“I know that too.” a smirk graces your lips and you pause your game.

You listen to Kirby's rant for three minutes before asking if anyone else still “needed” a reminder. And when he said 'no' you sent him off to bed and said you'd see him Sunday morning. With a cranky man toddler dealt with you went back to your game.

Contrary to what you had originally thought, this week had been pretty chill. Everything had been going great, no drama in the town, no set backs with the picnic, your stalker had been keeping a low profile, and sure you were on day three of no sleep but that's just a you issue really. You didn't even have a foreboding feeling about the picnic. Everything was going great...at least it would be had Jo not   specifically requested you wear something red, to her recital in a few weeks.

It's going to be so hard to thrift something school appropriate, red, and in your size. You thankfully have three weeks but unfortunately you're limited to weekend trips since you work during the week and wouldn't be able to go a few hours out to larger thrift stores to drive a few hours back home.

Your do nothing day is turning into a do something day. And you definitely can't get any sleep tonight because now you know you have something to do at five AM and you just wouldn't be able to rest peacefully at all. Scared that you'd fuck up the shopping trip you had planned. God you hate executive dysfunction and the anxiety it gives you, even for something like sleeping.

Thursday evening you spent all night googling the towns within a five hour radius and their second hand shops, after Jo had made her request to you. Your big ticket shops were two closer to the border of Pennsylvania. They were in pretty medium to high income neighborhoods so were the most likely to have formal wear on hand. Your plan was to drive there and get to the closer one by eight maybe get some breakfast while you waited for the shop to open. Then go to the second, and if you still hadn't met the requirements for an outfit you'd go to the town an hour away from there. Just to rinse and repeat until you went to all eight locations on your list. Making one big circle back to Kepler.

You really hoped you find something to wear at the first two. Seriously you don't want to be out shopping all day but you'd rather have a buffer of looking for things now than rushing the night before her recital.

Checking the time you see it's just a little after one in the morning. You've been playing Stardew for a few hours and are starting to get bored. Maybe you should switch games? Exiting out you ruin any progress you've made for the day, but you couldn't remember so it probably wasn't important progress. And you are now scrolling through your games looking for something to play.

Spiritfarer? No you don't feel like crying right now. Undertale? No you really don't feel like crying right now. Onion Boy Commits  Tax Evasion? Hmm, possible...but it's a quick game and you'd be done and back here in thirty minutes. Sally Face? Yea! You've been meaning to replay it for a while now and this seems as good a time as any.

Loading the game you settle deeper into the couch to become a teenage ghost detective. And you stay like that for the rest of the night until your alarm goes off mid way through chapter two. You'd been so focused on trying to get secrets that you hardly noticed the time going by. Okay, you were looking at Gizmo and taking pictures of the silly furball.

Stretching you get up and make your way to your room to grab a change of clothes, neck snapping to the side as you went. When you enter your room you're met with a white face with blocks of black for the eyes and black lipstick as its only facial features looking at you from the corner just feet away from the door. Even though your heart jumps into your throat at the sight you notice the figure doesn't get closer to you. Noting that and its immobility you figure it's a really weird and specific hallucination.

'Fucking weird?' you think as you ignore the hallucination and start rummaging through your closet.

It wouldn't be the first time a source of media has either triggered or inspired one of your hallucinations. But the face isn't exactly Sal's mask but it is mask like. Maybe Sal mixed with a panda. That's a fun thought. But overall nothing you need to worry about. Just have to get sleep tonight so you could enjoy the picnic tomorrow without any issues.

When you turn back around with your clothes in hand the hallucination is gone. You shrug before going to your bathroom to change. In a blink you are out the door and on the road by five after five. You hope you pass a Dunkin' in an hour or so, you'll need a little energy boost to get your day started. But pushing that thought aside you turn up your radio and turn off your thoughts.

Just vibes for right now, just you and the empty road.

Making it to the first thrift shop you are pleasantly surprised to see a string of old ladies shopping today. Wonderful, they'll look at knick knacks and you'll look at clothes. Looks like there won't be a need to guard clothing with your life. However when you get into the store it becomes incredibly apparent that the only thing to look at here are in fact the knick knacks.

Sighing you figure it'll at least be worth it to comb through skirts and shoes. Skirts are very limited to paisley prints that give you middle school dance flash backs, and long khakis. Neither are really what you're looking for right now so you leave them be. They'll find their homes with some home schooled kid eventually. Shoes are a bit more promising as you find a pair of red kitten pumps in your size immediately, they're a little worn but nothing a little shoe polish and leather paint can't fix.

That is until you think you see something grab at your wrist.

When you jerk back a shoe drops from your hand and the heel pops off. Again a very easy fix, plus this may get you a discount. Dropping to your knees you try to grab the heel from under the rack and when you do you notice a pair of boots that look like they've been hidden behind several pair of knee high riding boots. You grab them, they're reddish brown suede heeled boots. They're in pretty good condition and the price tag says thirteen, not bad. And they're in your size! Best find of the day, calling it now. You quickly collect your shoes and make your way to the register. While you may not wear the kitten pumps often you for sure have just found your new favorite boots.

Getting back in the car with one of three pieces for your outfit and one store down you make your way to the next town over for its store. The second store had a much wider selection of clothing however you didn't find much of anything this time. But there was a cute mini pencil skirt that had a tiny orange heart on the left side hem. You couldn't resist it when it was only two dollars.

Third times a charm or so they say. But as you're looking through the racks of dresses and skirts you start hearing whispers. Briefly looking up to see if anyone was actually around to where you'd be able to hear them you see no one. It's weird that you'd get auditory hallucinations without a visible one or without being asleep. That puts you on edge but you ignore the feeling to continue your shopping.

You've just turned to go have a look at the blazers when a voice pops into your head.

'He's here.' there's an edge of static following the words and the buzzing is enough to cloud your own thoughts.

Neck snapping to the side twice before cracking on the third time, “There we go” you say as you look around  only see families with kids in the store with you. No one is on their own or even looking your way.

'That you can see.'

Your heart is pounding harshly against your chest and while every fiber of your being is saying run. You can't it'd be obvious or it'd make you look like a whack job. So with a sharp intake of air you steady yourself and being to walk calmly to your car.

It's broad daylight and you would definitely be making a scene if your stalker tried anything. If anyone even came near you right now you'd probably scream in self preservation.

But it turns out you didn't need to worry as you got into your car, locking the doors without hassle. You didn't bother turning your radio on as you drove to the forth store. There wouldn't be a point not like you could focus with your nerves so frazzled. And that frazzled feeling doesn't go away as you arrive at the store.

Staying in the car a moment you wait to see if any other car near by seems familiar. Or any persons exiting seem familiar, like you've seen their faces in passing. No one does, and while that puts you at ease you'll still be vigilant of your surroundings.

The store's much smaller than the previous three and you decide to start with the blazer section this time. It seems like a good choice, even though it looked like a sea of black ¾ sleeve blazers and jackets you caught a glimpse of red from inside one coat. Pulling the hanger off you notice it isn't a richly colored lining but that someone shoved a red Chinese inspired silk skirt into the blazer. You aren't sure if they were judging the compatibility of the items as an outfit or if they were trying to hide it, but either way it's ended up in your hands. It's beautifully decorated in golden swirls and a dragon pattern embroidery. Putting it up to you it curls around your waist. Could mean it'd be a bit big for you, but nothing a little sewing couldn't fix.

You're pretty sure you had a black turtleneck tank top that would look great with this, and still be appropriate for hot late July weather. But maybe an additional red blazer or shawl would be a good idea. Looking at the sea of black before you you think it'd be best to continue this hunt another week.

Right now your nerves are fried and the sun is already starting to set. With thoughts of getting caught alone in the dark with your stalker you can't help but want to get home as soon as possible or at least get to a town where people would know you if your body showed up in a ditch.

Checking out with your skirt you once again find yourself in your car driving along the highway.

You get back to Kepler a little after nine, gas tank near empty so you drive on to the mini mart rather than stopping at home. You notice another car, which isn't strange for a gas station but very rare that more than two customers are here at the same time. Getting in to pay for gas you're stopped by Ronnie's pissed off voice.

“Leave Dave or I'll ban you from the shop!” she seems to seethe at the man in front of her.

“You don't have that kind of power Veronica.” gross it's David.

Whatever feeling of uncertainty you had before vanishes instantly at seeing the slime ball try to “flirt” with Ronnie. He continues to pester her and the two don't even register your entrance. Unfortunately for Ronnie she really can't do anything to stop these advances without getting in trouble. Fortunately for you, you have no such qualms.

“She said fuck off.” you push past the man shoulder checking him as you get to the counter to start talking with Ronnie.

David stumbles away not expecting the rough push. He glares down at you and you ignore him now that you're in a setting with another person. A person who has access to a silent emergency police button if things go sideways. You have back up this time and an escape plan, there's no way David can harm you right now.

“Hey, I'm gonna need thirty on pump four.” you said hoping you could just ignore the man and stall by talking about useless merchandise in the store to get him to leave. But that was before you're interrupted.

“Oh did someone grow a back bone while I was away?” you roll your eyes and pause before you lie.

“...anyway is Tim on break yet?” hoping she caught the look in your eyes to play along.

Tim was a new hire that David probably didn't know since he just got back into town. Easiest one to lie about and make excuses for why there wasn't a fourth car in the lot. The boys only seemed to have the RV and the sedan so perfectly reasonable that he got dropped off because one of his roommates needed the car.

The way Ronnie's eyes widen at you aren't out of relief but more out of realization. She shakes her head slightly, and you want to smack her for being an idiot and ruining your attempt to scare David off when she turns and yells towards the back.

“Hey Tim! You have a visitor!” you jump a bit at her volume and notice that David tenses by your side as well.

'...is she bluffing...' if she is this is the dumbest fucking bluff in the world and so easy to catch on to. You'll have to get her acquainted with true crime podcasts and shows so she can be better prepared in the future.

It isn't until you hear muffled swears and the sound of thudding from the back room of the store. It isn't long before the door to the back opens and you hear Tim's hushed voice speaking to Marigold for a second, “can you please not walk in front of me.”, and you see Tim walk through the door.

Tim's brown eyes scan the store clearly trying to find either Brian or Toby. His gaze barely passes over David but when it settles on your form leaning away from said creep and Ronnie shifting from one foot to the other the situation seems to click.

It was such a subtle change in his eyes, something you're sure that had you not been trying to catch his gaze to get your message across you would have missed. The way the highlight died before picking back up. It was probably just a trick of the over head lights, maybe he shifted a bit and it caused the light to hit differently. Something you could brush off...something you would have brushed off had you not heard a different voice speak when he opened his mouth.

“YN hey, did'ya need somethin'?” it was a notch lower than normal and somehow the tone was smoother than his usual rumble. For a moment you think he put on a voice for bravado.

Something inside tells you that's not Tim. But right now you need someone who looks like Tim. Someone who despite their “short” stature has an obvious muscle mass to them. One that confidently says “authority” to scare off the creep next to you.

You wrack your brain for something anything to say that would seem normal in this situation while you could try to assert the discomfort of Ronnie and yourself in your current situation. Just as you go to speak David begins to talk over you as he greets the man in the room.

“Hey there, name's David. Nice to see a new face in this place, how long you been here?”

Tim slides his eyes away from you and back over to David. He seems to straighten out his posture and looks over you and Ronnie before staring back at David.

“A while, is there a problem up here?”

“Oh no 's nothing like that!” David says jovially as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. You jerk from the contact. “Just talking to these nice ladies.”

'Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting' plays over and over as you squirm out of his arm.

There's an emotion you can't quite place running through you as you heart rate picks up. You feel sick as if you can feel the bile rising to your throat. Are you having a panic attack? No that's not it you're too conscious and your thoughts aren't a jumbled mess. You're probably just over stimulated. You want to calm down.

'Do you' the whispered voice is back, 'Do you really?'

It's mocking you and the strange emotion from before spikes. Is this...is this rage? Are you so upset at being touched that you're experiencing genuine rage? One with such a burning passion that you can feel your body grow warm all over.

But what did the voice ask 'do you?' do you what? Do you want to calm down?

….no....

No you didn't you can feel it in your veins, in your bones, in your entire being. You didn't want to calm down you wanted to hurt David. You want to tear him to pieces. You wanted him to give you  a reason...any reason at all. Any reason to fucking destroy him.

You aren't entirely sure where these thoughts are coming from. Maybe you're just overstimulated, your  nerves fried from the weird feeling at the thrift shop today and then paired with someone you hated very much, touching you out of no where seemed to be your ultimate breaking point.

It's Tim who brings you out of your thoughts.

When did he get so close to you?

“I think you should leave. I know for a fact YN's boyfriend won't take kindly to you upsetting them like this.” he stresses the 'them' and it seems you've missed a few key points...like when the hell you got a boyfriend?

“Oh right, what's that scrawny kid gonna do twitch at me.” when did David start taking that tone with Tim and why was he talking about Toby? What did Toby have to do with this? How did David even know about Toby?

Seems David's taunt and knowledge of Toby unsettled Tim as well, if the hand on your shoulder gripping tightly had anything to say. Has that been there this whole time? When did he put it there?

“Trust me the kid's bite 's lot worse than his bark.” there's humor in Tim's voice as he says that but it's like an old joke no one else has context for.

'Fuckin' dick...is that suppose to be a joke about his mutilated mouth?' it really does sound like it. Maybe you're reading the clues wrong...maybe you heard Tim wrong.

Thankfully whatever the fuck is building up comes to an end when Pigeon walks through the doors. Oh she's on duty, Deputy Pigeon. She looks at the four of you and your positions. And although she has a pretty good idea what's happened from Ronnie's texts she can't help but ask.

“Al'ight, what's going on here?” it's clearly been a long day for her.

“Harassment. We've asked him to leave the store but he's refused and keeps bothering our customer and us.” Tim's fast response had you and Ronnie stumped.

Did a white cis male actually come to the aid of two decidedly not male people...instead of the other white cis male? Has Hell frozen over?

It's like he knew just what to say to the officer. And he didn't try to tiptoe around it to save the other man. Tim clearly didn't want this dragging out any longer than it already has. Even David himself seems a bit taken aback by Tim's, accurate, claims. Meanwhile Pigeon looks around the room and sighs. While she knows her younger sister wouldn't have texted if this wasn't serious she was the only one on duty tonight and would only be able to take the other three's statements.

“Al'ight I'll grab y'all's statements starting with you Nychn c'mon.” the tired looking woman took David outside so he could tell his side of the story. But even with two against one he'll probably end up getting a ban from the store. Especially since he did harass a customer and not just an employee.

After getting his statement and watching him drive off from the establishment Pigeon returned back inside.

“I swear tha' boy's head has never been on right.” shaking her head.

Pigeon asked for both your and Tim's sides of the story taking you a little ways away from each other  to “prevent compromising the other's story”.

“So... looks like I've got everything, I'll have the station call Monty in the mornin' and let 'im know that he's got a new ban.”

“What about Ronnie's statement?” Tim asks as Pigeon put away her pocket pal.

“Oh Tim, Pigeon's my sister.” it's the first time Ronnie's said something since calling for Tim.

At least you think it is after all you did have a little spell after being touched.

Tim nods and Pigeon heads off after warning the three of you to stay out of trouble. Now with just the three of you in the shop you turn to Tim.

“Thanks for the save Tim.” He just nods again.

“No problem, but you really should'a said somethin' sooner.”

“I don't know what happened I like blanked and forgot you went on break before he came in.” Ronnie pipes up looking flustered.

Weird. You've noticed that does tend to happen when David's around. Maybe you should look into memory stealers. Might be why David's vibes are all off. That or he's a fucking serial killer and your instincts are trying to warn you but there are so many red flags your brain glitches instead. Whatever the reason may be you'll have to keep your guard up when he's around. It's super sketchy he left when Bambi went missing and it's a strange time to come back to town after “helping” your sister after her divorce. Two months isn't enough time to find a new routine or settle court battles.

Tim leaves to clock in and continue his break for another twenty minutes. You aren't sure that's right but Ronnie doesn't seem to complain and you've got to admit he did save you guys from that creep unpaid so he kinda deserves it. You go to pay Ronnie for gas and for some of the frozen taquitos that they normally have on the rotation cooker. But she puts thirty dollars on your pump and then just hands you a pack of the taquitos.

“Thanks for...y'know.” she might be a bitch but Ronnie can be nice if the situation calls for it.

Plus you can see by the expiration date that she'd have to just toss these out at the end of the night anyway. Who are you to turn down free food?

You head home and take your clothes and taquitos inside. You toss the clothes in an arm chair in your living room. And fall asleep on your couch shortly after eating. You are thoroughly exhausted and you had actually been tired last night. Had it not been for errands you'd have slept last night. Now you definitely have to sleep early to wake up early to finish cooking for the picnic.

[thehikingviking]

White Mountain and Whitecliff Peak from Chango Lake Road

Kathy Rich was on a quest to finish the Western States Climbers list, and I got an invite to join her on one of her few remaining peaks. To my knowledge, there is only one person who has finished this list at the time of this writing, so even getting close to finishing is quite the achievement. The peaks on this list were haphazardly chosen, but it does a good job of mixing peaks from various different regions throughout the West. There is a lot of overlap with some of the more popular Sierra Club lists such as the Sierra Peaks Section and the Desert Peaks Section, so if you finish those, you will probably be more than 80% done with Western States Climbers. For that reason, I personally am not really focusing on this list because I feel I will make progress on it by sticking to my normal routine. My main criticism with the SPS list is the clear L.A. bias, and this was one of the main issues that the creators of WSC list were trying to resolve. The peaks of the northern Sierra Nevada are poorly represented, however the Western States Climbers list addresses this by including many peaks unlisted by the Sierra Club in Yosemite and further north. Among these is a patch of peaks north of Sonora Pass on the east side of the Sierra Crest. In this patch were White Mountain and Whitecliff Peak, and I was happy to try them as a day hike from my cabin in Sonora.

Kathy invited Greg Gerlach and Larry Grant while I invited Mike Toffey, David Dully and Colin Gregory. Toffey is open to climbing any peak on the planet, so I expected him to join. However, I was surprised that Colin accepted the invite since he is quite picky with regards to choosing peaks. It seems that available weekends trump quality of peak now that he is a father. We were all set to spend the night at my cabin in Sonora and do the peaks as a day hike, but Kathy changed her mind at the last minute and decided to backpack. If I would have known this earlier, I simply would have chose to do a better peak, since social reasons motivated me to join this outing in the first place. With this change of plans, I expected to see the others only for about five minutes on the day of the hike, and that ended up being the case. I had planned the trip to the cabin with my family, so I couldn’t change plans so easily. At least I still had Toffey, Colin and Dully who were willing to join me.

Colin and Dully arrived at my cabin really late on Friday night, but at least PG&E didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night. It was a two hour drive from my cabin to the trailhead. We took Dully’s Jeep since I wanted to leave mine with Asaka back at the cabin. We passed through the gate at the Marine Corps Mountain Warfare Training Center. There was some confusion at first when they learned we were only passing through to go hiking. I guess we all look of military age. We then continued along the graded Forest Road 059 until our turnoff at Forest Road 062, which I believe is unofficially named Chango Lake Road. We got a little confused when we passed through a ski area, and some of the road was a little challenging for Dully’s 4WD vehicle, but we were able to drive to 9,400 feet due east of White Benchmark. Here there was a fork in the road, with one branch heading towards Chango Lake and the other leading to the ridge. We decided to start hiking here. We followed the road for a short distance and then it ended abruptly. We climbed up a steep section of forest and emerged on the open ridge above. Off to the south was Tower Peak, which Colin, Dully and I planned to climb less than a month later.

We found several shell casings throughout the day. I guess the Marines come up here sometimes to hone their skills.

Simply climbing White Mountain first would have shortened our day’s effort by a bit, but we wanted to climb White Benchmark as well for the sake of completion. The benchmark stood about a mile south of the peak, and looked to only require a very reasonable extra effort. For the first time in a while, I was not the most obsessive compulsive person in the group with regards to turning red dots green, so it was easy to convince the group to take my proposed route.

The ridge had a small rise which we had to climb over. Some light bushwhacking was needed in places, but this probably could have been avoided. Dully and Toffey took the lead up the mountain while Colin and I hung back. This gave us the opportunity to talk about our kids, but also to test a theory. Colin has a bad habit of getting very sick while hiking, so he tried talking less and hiking slower than usual. I supported this vocal moderation since it's a nasty thing that I’ve witnessed him deal with. Looking back, he did not end up getting sick on this particular day, so maybe we are finally onto something.

Dully and I started talking politics as we emerged out of the pine forest. Dully was strongly in support of forgiving all student loan debt. I challenged this proclamation by stating that such an act would be unfair as it would mostly benefit middle and upper class white people. Per EducationData.org, Caucasian students have the most cumulative student loan debt. Additionally, 45% of student loan debt is from graduate schools. I was accepted to UC Davis MBA program, but when the tuition came back at over $100k, I considered the return on investment versus the amount of debt I would be straddled with and decided not to go. Even after they came back with a $20k scholarship, I still felt that the tuition was not worth taking on, and passed on the opportunity. Perhaps I can consider graduate school if tuition prices get under control one day, but I refuse to go into unnecessary debt.

The last several hundred feet was a boring slog.

The others would beat me to the summit, but I was content to hang back and take my time. We had a long day ahead of us.

We had great views from White Benchmark. To the south were Tower Peak and Forsyth Peak.

To the southwest were Leavitt Peak and Sonora Peak.

To the northwest was Stanislaus Peak.

To the north was White Mountain.

To the east were Lost Cannon Peak and the Sweetwater Range.

With the higher summit still a mile further north, we took only a short break and continued along the ridge.

We went over an intermediate bump then continued to the true high point. There was a lone backpacker slightly ahead of us. We guessed he was section hiking the PCT and Colin was eager to ask him a million questions. By the time we arrived on the summit, he was nowhere to be seen. It's almost as if he vanished into thin air. Looking back towards the south was White Benchmark.

To the northwest were Stanislaus Peak and Disaster Peak. 

The rock formations were very interesting on this summit. A lot of flat granitic rocks were piled on top of a base of red volcanic rock. I found a good sitting rock slightly below the summit and took a long rest by my lonesome. I felt fat and tired, and worst of all, we had a lot of off trail hiking ahead of us.

After our break, we continued north along the ridgeline. On some sections we eliminated unnecessary elevation gain by sidehilling, but this was slow and tedious. We found some gear laying around here, and I believe this is where the other summit party of Larry, Greg and Kathy camped the night before. We would find no running water along the ridge throughout the day, so I assume they had to melt snow in order to get water. The only time I’ve ever had to melt snow was on Mt Rainier.

We reached a broad plateau about a mile north of White Mountain. I did a time check and calculated that we would not catch up to the other group on the way to the summit of Whitecliff Peak. In addition, we would most likely be done very late in the day. I expressed my concerns to Dully, explaining that we still had 5 mountains to climb. There were two unnamed peaks with over 400 feet of prominence between us and Whitecliff Peak, and we would have to climb the unnamed peaks twice. At least we had long daylight hours.

Stanislaus Peak

After the long plateau we dropped into a little saddle. Another section of elevation gain for the return, I thought to myself. I picked my way through the trees, clearly lagging behind the others. I thought about the tortoise and the hare. In this case there were three hares ahead of me. They were full of spunk, and were even climbing the unnecessary subpeak of Point 10821. I considered reminding them to conserve energy, but as the slowest person, it felt improper for me to share advice. It was a long gradual ridge to the top of Peak 11000, and then an almost rude drop down to the saddle to the north. 

I hiked up some sandy slopes to the top of the ridge, again finding myself in the back. The others met Larry Grant near the summit of Peak 10990. They chatted with him and then continued to the summit. At some point Colin voiced to the others that I looked like I was struggling, and conversely he was feeling great. A few minutes later I met Larry and learned that he was still recovering from Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and he decided to turn around since he was still rehabilitating. The good news was that Greg and Kathy had made the summit and were on their way back. I met Toffey, Colin and Dully on the summit of Peak 10990. We could finally see Whitecliff Peak about a mile further north.

The peak looked super cool and I was excited to be so close. I spotted Greg and Kathy down below cutting across the white section of ridge beneath us. I had to use the little boy’s room, so I ran ahead to find a nice bush. On the way I stopped to chat with Greg and Kathy. Unfortunately, our conversation lasted only a few minutes since my biological situation was getting dire. Toffey and I said our goodbyes and continued down the ridge. With shrubs all around and soft sand beneath my feet, I finally picked a spot to dig a hole and fill it back in.

By the time I was finished, Toffey had made some distance ahead of me, but Colin and Dully still hadn’t passed me. I looked back up the ridge and saw them both sitting next to each other staring at Whitecliff Peak from above. They are quitting, I thought to myself. This was very bizarre. Just a few minutes ago they were telling Toffey how strong they felt, and they were within a mile from the summit. At least Toffey was still getting after it. I followed his footsteps through the sand, trying my best to catch up to him.

I watched Toffey power up the steep sandy slopes ahead. He yelled down to me asking what Colin and Dully were doing, and I yelled back saying they were bailing. I looked back again and they still hadn’t moved from their perch. Toffey was speechless. Rather than dwell on negativity, we turned our focus back to Whitecliff Peak, which stood beautifully above us.

The next section looked intimidating, but I was ready to tap into my reserves. I powered up this section, putting all of my concerns about being too out of shape to rest. I caught up to Toffey on the upper portion of the peak. He was kind enough to wait for me. We examined the day’s turn of events, but remained puzzled. At least we would make the summit. To the east of the peak was Whitecliff Lake.

We transitioned from white rock back to red rock. The hike culminated with an easy class 3 chimney to the summit of Whitecliff Peak.

The ridgeline remained multicolored as it continued further north. Somewhere in the distance was Mineral Mountain.

To the east were Antelope Peak and Fish Valley Peak.

To the south was the flat top of Peak 10990.

To the southwest was Stanislaus Peak. It looked pretty cool from this perspective.

To the west were Dardanelle Cone and Disaster Peak.

To the northwest were Round Top, Tryon Peak and Highland Peak.

I felt pretty good. It was after 2pm but we were only a week away from the summer solstice. We decided to head back. Only two peaks left, I thought to myself.

The boot ski down the white, sandy section was done in a matter of seconds. Then we powerwalked along the ridge, trying our best to find the most optimal path.

I told Toffey that I would be intentionally slow on all the uphill sections, but he was kind enough to stick with me. Colin and Dully were gone by the time we reached Peak 10990. Toffey and I were still a little speechless about the earlier occurrence. We exchanged theories and made many comments in jest. I guessed that upon meeting Larry who had turned back, they began to question themselves and lost confidence. The main difference is that Larry was a 70 year old recovering from a serious illness while the others were two perfectly healthy young men in their primes. Climbing down and back up Peak 11000 was a bear. At least it was my last peak. I had a patch of service here and was able to call Colin. They decided to return with the others and were heading back to the car. I asked them if they could pick us up at the Silver Creek Meadow Trailhead and they agreed. That lifted my spirits.

We had one last little bit of uphill before reaching the large plateau from earlier. Toffey was seriously considering climbing Wells Peak as a bonus peak. I urged him on but in the end he decided against it. I called Asaka and told her to expect us at a later time. Needless to say she was unhappy. From the plateau we dropped down into the Silver Creek Drainage, hoping to pick up the trail at the bottom of the canyon.

We found a gentle cross country route down. There was a lot of bear sign, but we didn’t see any critters. Once at the bottom, we picked up a faint trial, however this disappeared as we continued down the canyon.

We would pick up the trail several times and then promptly lose it again. There was clear sign of human activity. I guessed it was mostly from ranchers running cattle up the canyon.

I must say that it was a very beautiful canyon, and I’m happy to have experienced walking through it.

We followed rocks in a line and blazes on trees, but there was not much of a method to their construction. In some locations these markers appeared genuinely random.

My feet started to hurt as we hiked the last couple of miles. My legs were also feeling pretty heavy.

We finally emerged at what I assume was Silver Creek Meadows.

We crossed the creek and finally picked up a proper trail. Towards the end of our hike, we ran into some pack outfitters.

It was a 16 mile effort from car to car for Toffey and me. To our delight, we found Colin and Dully waiting at the trailhead. I was a little concerned that they would be late or might not find the right way. Unfortunately we never saw Kathy, Greg or Larry again. It was a long 2+ hour drive back to my cabin. I was literally starving. Colin was insistent upon buying a soda, but every store along Hwy 108 was closed. Nonetheless, we had to stop at almost every convenience store, even if they were dark from the inside. To make matters worse, we took a wrong turn trying to find the cabin, adding an extra 10 minutes to our drive. When we finally got home, I was so weak and famished. Thankfully, Asaka had prepared lasagna for us, and I scarfed this down like a pig at its trough. It’s amazing how quickly I recover with a full belly. Daryn beat us back to the cabin. He did his own hike that day to Relief Peak, Molo Mountain and Kennedy Peak. As we sat on the porch, Colin was thrilled to report that he had no altitude sickness throughout the day, and for the most part felt great. Daryn subsequently asked why he decided to turn around then. The reason seemed to be that they were okay with their day and they can always come back and get Whitecliff Peak from the north. We didn’t really understand this reasoning, considering they were less than a mile from the peak, had only easy terrain remaining in perfect conditions and were physically fine. I guess we’ll just chalk this up as a peculiar circumstance.

[fiction-in-my-blood]

Obey Me! Brothers x MC’s Job HC

So this is a headcannon based on each brother’s MC having a job or experience in a field that would be somewhat benefit to them the most in work and play ;). Ya girl just wants to feel useful TT 

Warnings: The SLIGHTEST reference of NSFW in some of the HCs

~~~~~~

Lucifer: 

Okay, maybe an elementry school teacher wouldn’t directly help Big Brother Lucifer the most, especially when you were just out of supervised training, but you sure as hell can help keep some of his more troublesome problems at bay. 

Having to deal with overexcitable, emotionally unstable, and honestly frequently hyped-up-on-sugar children just out of infancy has given you a backbone, not to meant a glare that’s strong enough to stop everyone still, but not scare. 

Unless you wanted it to. 

Not to mention that voice. 

The range of your vocal cords could be heard even by Diavolo in his castle. 

You needed it, dealing with crying children and sometimes parents who thought their child couldn’t possibly bully the girl they ‘crushed’ on when you had seen it with your own eyes.

And even after grabbing everyone’s attention in a room full of strong personalities, you’re more than capable of turning it down a bit to explain what the issue is.

“Levi, you can’t chop off Mammon’s hands to stop him from stealing your things.”

“Don’t you laugh, Mammon! You’re not off the hook just yet. Give Levi his figurine back before I put Goldie in the microwave, hm?”

“Asmodeus, you can’t go around stealing my underwear! What would your mother think of this?”

“Beelzebub, you can’t eat other people’s food without asking. How would you feel if I went along and ate all your blackbelly newt legs and your monkey brain pudding?”

“Mammon, this is your last warning. Put the money back where you found it.”

“Belphegor, you need to stop sleeping on the floor. Mamo keeps tripping over you and I don’t think we can afford any more screaming in this house.”

“Mammon! Do I need to send you to the quiet corner again?”

“Satan, clean up your books or they’re going back on the shelf out of order.”

Your use of their full names definitely felt like their were being reprimanded by a teacher.

Even if you sometimes treat the younger brothers like children, which will often cause a few snickers, you can’t really help it when they act the way they do. 

Sometimes you get a little too carried away, on instinct threatening to cancel the end of year pizza party unless they start behaving, but Lucifer appreciates your attempts to restrain them all the same while chuckling along with everyone else. 

You may act before you think, but you’ve brought his family closer together. 

Mamo: 

Being a professional pocker player would be just too easy. 

That’s why it’s your weekend gig.

Besides from your backers and frequent trips to pocker tournements, you spent your nights, and sometimes at day parties, as a mixologist. 

It may not seem like much, but bartending has helped you nuture a skill to read people and help them talk out their problems.

Which is the only reason Mamo hasn’t been thrown into the fiery pits of hell when a revengeful witch comes knocking every now and then. 

You hear out his fraud victim’s troubles and show your understanding, wondering in the back of your head why, in Diavolo’s great Devildom, Mammon would agree to give away some of Satan’s incantations for a credit card that looked similar to Goldie?!

You manage to talk her out of taking his liver as payment and agree to help mix some potions you recently learnt at school, being a mixologist has helped in that regard as well.

A few times you’ve had to play some other demons in a game of cards in order to get Mammon back home safely. 

It was only when you beat Soloman that Mamo first noticed your professional-grade talent. 

You didn’t really want him knowing, you knew he wouldn’t be able to help himself but use you to his advantage, so you first said that it was a natural skill humans had- which no one believed and only made them all curious.

Eventually, you gave in to Mamo’s pestering and it was then you said you weren’t going to give him money. 

At first, he was a little offended you’d think he would use you like that, but, for once, he listened to everyone’s harsh words and understood why you had that idea. 

He was the Avatar of Greed, after all.

Ever since, he’s been working hard to show you he would never use you again.

Unless it was a life or death scenario with that one witch he conned a dragon’s egg from. 

Levi: 

It was impressive when you picked up Ancient Languages so quickly, but the otaku didn’t question it, at that time he didn’t have that much interest in you. 

Then you were able to annunciate those words better than Satan or Lucifer or Diavolo, but maybe you were a quick learner?

It was only when you nonchalantly offered him the latest, unreleased, series of a longer-than-necessary-anime-title did Levi think to ask. 

You were a translator in the human world. 

Had more interest in the words than the story, but that was enough for him to start treating you less of a normie and more of a fellow recluse like him. 

It didn’t take long after that when he realised you were THE MC. 

The MC who had translated most of the anime he watched, even though he didn’t need to read subs, you were stil famous, and not only for translating. 

You had dabbled in voice acting, mainly due to one conference call you had where the client asked you to voice for a minor character that would only be in for a few episodes of TSL. 

It was a disasterous when the character died, having been quite a noble and vicious knight to the Lord of Shadow- who, of which, the lord also liked.

You weren’t going to tell him the character was booted off because you weren’t comfortable voice acting anymore. 

However, he will have you read aloud lines he had found on a certain website where many like-minded fans wrote their own stories about the characters. 

Lucifer caught the skript-like paper when he saw the word ‘master’ printed next to a less than savoury subject the eldest brother would not allow you to be tricked into saying. 

Levi wasn’t too happy about that, ranting and raving how it was unfair and he needed to hear the Shadow Knight confess to the Lord of Shadow the way the fandom, and most of all, he, deserved.

You may have little clue what the animes your translating are about, but you never again reject the offer to have one of your own, walking to Levi’s room the second it reaches you in the mail and you spend practically all night binging on every word you wrote for him.

Satan: 

When you first came to Devildom, you were particularly overly-curious.

Maybe it was because you were in a knew place, surrounded by beings you once thought only existed in stories? 

Maybe you had that same respect for knowledge as Satan did? 

Well, it would be easy to think that if it weren’t for the types of questions you asked each of the brothers, as well as the angels, Soloman, Barbatos and even the Prince of Devildom himself. 

“What do you like to do on your days off?”

“Are you a tits or ass guy?”

“What’s your relationship like with your family?”

“Do you like men, women, or a bit of both?”

Every demon, witch, angel and whoever you met at RAD had the pleasure of being interrogated by you, your gracious smile and genuine concern for their answer coaxing them to tell you more than they would think to like.

When you wrote in that little journal, stock full of flyaway papers, the victim of your inquisitive nature would worry, for some reason, what you thought of them. 

Still, you never let anyone look, not until you had the perfect match for the client.

A matchmaker, that’s what you were in the human world.

You paired couples, looking for marriage or a short term thing, with their perfect better half. 

And you had been struggling to pair Satan with anyone.

“You have no interest in either of the sexes. How am I meant to find a girl for you when all you care about are dusty old books?” You muttered dismissively, speaking directly at the pages of your book, the two-page profile you had on Satan spread across the fine lined sheets. 

You had been so enraptured in you quest for love that you didn’t notice the warmth looming over you. 

“Who’s dusty old books?” The familiar teasing whisper graced your ear, way too close for comfort. 

You turned, slamming the journal shut, but it was too late. 

He had discovered your plan. 

You quickly explained that you were a matchmaker back home and it was hard to hold back. 

Even when you were with your human friends, you got carried away, pairing them with nice guys you met in the bar when you went on your weekly girl’s night. 

Satan laughed at first, who couldn’t find their own mate? 

Until he realised you couldn’t find anyone for him. 

You’ve never seen him combust into flames so quickly. 

You would be scared if you weren’t so annoyed. 

“This is exactly my point! No one will want to be with you if you get this angry all the time!” You pouted, not realising the brothers that had run in at the drop of the proverbial hat, frozen in the doorway as they watched you, a human, talking smack to a demonic Satan.

They had come to save you once they heard him roaring in anger, but you seemed to be coping just fine on your own.

It took both of you a few weeks to realise, the reason you couldn’t find him anyone is because you wanted him.

Asmo: 

You and Asmodeus had surprisingly philosophical conversations when you had only just met.

You would answer his teasing comments with very deep and personal questions, asking about his past relationships and how it made him feel to flirt with everyone he laid eyes on.

You had caught him off-guard a few times with your out of left-field inquiries.

One time, after you asked about any childhood trauma he may have had that could lead to his sexual nature, he actually got a little angry, losing his cool and throwing your question right back in your face.

He usually seemed to enjoy the strange back and forth, so you watched him devole into his demon-form with a startled gaze.

“I-I’m sorry, Asmo, I shouldn’t have asked that. Force of habit.”

You were blunt, distant and sometimes rude with your short questions, but when you told him those questions were something you were so familiar with they were a large part of your vocabularly, he had to know.

“How could that possibly be a habit?”

You were a relationships councillor. 

You spent your days with arguing couples, coworkers who just couldn’t get along, and the odd friendship that had been torn apart thanks to one sleeping with the other’s partner.

You weren’t used to dealing with overly-friendly cilents, most would be crying about how sorry they were or silent with stubbonness, so you wanted to put that professional gap between the two of you.

But you never intended to hurt him or rehash memories you had no right to know.

“I’m meant to help people, but I can’t even treat the people I care about right.”

Before you had arrived in Devildom, you were pretty much a loner.

You were ambitious, pretty much a recluse outside of work, mainly because anyone you talked to would also get your brain shrinking questions. 

“No human likes being asked if they really trust their partner.”

The self-deprecating laugh that left your down-turned lips in that moment pushed Asmo right back down to his usual laidback demeanor, imploring you to explain what you meant by that.

It was only right, you thought, you had been far too invasive for too long.

Asmo respected the work you told him about.

Even if long-term relationships weren’t his thing, or they hadn’t been until he met you, he understand that not everyone could live off the joys of primal lust. 

Most people needed a lifelong partner that understood everything they were, ever the dark, twisted parts of them.

But, he didn’t like you tales of the threats you received when certain couples didn’t make it through your counciling sessions.

One too many times had a brick been thrown through the windshield of your car or had been generously gifted a death threat in the mail.

They never worried you, you were used to people finding you odd and anti-social, but it did hurt.

You had only ever wanted to help.

From then, Asmo learnt the psychologist tricks you had up your sleeve, intending to use them on his brothers if they were being particularly secretive.

Especially when you were the subject of their conversation.

He would often bring you to parties, pointing out couples on the dance floor or groups of people who were meant to be friends, asking you who had sexual tension and who were on their last straw with their other half.

You told him time and time again that it didn’t work like that, that you couldn’t just look at someone’s face and defer they were a serial killer.

But body language is a hell of a thing.

Beel: 

Being a chef, you were often in the kitchen during the day, trying out recipes Mamo, Satan or Asmo had suggested to you.

Of course, they would often be pranks, potion recipes that would literally blow up in your face the moment you added the frog’s leg or eye of newt. 

But, even the smell of the fire place blazing brought the Avatar of Gluttony sniffing around.

At first, he didn’t care what you made, he always cleaned up the mess of your failed experiement made.

When you actually started acting sad when his brothers pranked you again, it was his time to step in.

Instead of leaving you to do your own thing and reap the rewards of your failures, he sat in a wooden chair much too small for him, bearing with the emptiness of his stomach so he could really teach you about the ways of his world.

He told you what you actually needed to make his favourite meal, which he had overheard you ask Mammon one time as you walked to class together. 

It was gross and difficult to learn how to cook with a cauldron and entrails of creatures, but you dealt with it because the look of pure, yet subtle, joy on Beel’s face when he ate what you meant to make was far worth the displeasure you went through to cook it.

When you got a couple days vacation from RAD, you somehow talked Mammon into taking you to the human world so you could buy real ingredients you were used to cooking with.

You wanted to prove to them all you weren’t as useless as you seemed when you first got there.

Of course, you would have to alter the recipes to the demons, but it shouldn’t be too hard. 

You were a trained professional, after all.

And you definitely proved them all wrong.

Plates of fine dining, fresh vegetables, cakes and sweets.

Abundances of foods of varying cultures and spices. 

It took you a whole day to make it all, but the stiffness in your back as you watched the demons, angels and Soloman alike walk into the banquet hall with looks of awe on their faces was enough to ease that pain.

You were exhausted and didn’t want to eat anything yourself, but that went unnoticed by everyone else.

Everyone else but Beelzebub, Avatar of Gluttony.

He pulled his attention away from the amazing food in his mouth long enough to see you sitting in your chair, hugging your legs to your chest and eyes closing a little longer every time you blinked.

You had never looked cuter, but he had never been more worried about you.

“You’re not going you eat anything?” His mouth was full of the fruits of your labour as he leaned over to grab your attention, continuing to shovel food into his mouth as he waited for you to reply.

“The best thing about my job is watching people enjoy it. I’m not hungry.” You yawned through a smile, letting your head rest on his shoulder as your heavy eyelids almost completely restricted your view of the show. 

Everyone finally seemed to be getting along.

Diavolo noted to himself he would have a few words with you once the dinner was over. 

Belphie:

“You’re a barista.” 

Soloman smirked as you two sat together in class, waiting for the ending bell. 

“No, I develop energy enhancers, which does include coffee. I literally make new, healthier products that help boost energy and motivation.”

Sure, your part-time job was in a coffee shop, but that was only to pay yourself through college. 

The course was nutrionism, paired with a course in chemistry. 

You had hoped to use your degree, when you did graduate, to make a product that didn’t cause heart attacks with the sugar content or make people stressed beyond belief on addictive caffeine. 

You were a tired teen and survived high school on coffee, but that didn’t do well with your heart. 

Now you had a medical condition and got even more tired than you did back then. 

Since you couldn’t have coffee anymore, your research was mainly for you.

That’s why, when you hung out with Belphie, sleeping, ironically, you couldn’t be more jealous. 

He slept and slept and slept, not a care to the centuries he was wasting doing so.

When you two got close, closer than he and Beel, you somehow managed to get him to test a prototype you had developed with the help of Solomo. 

Being the only other human, he actually understood your aims, even if no one else did.

The brother teased you about the fagility of man until you told them about your condition, showing them the medication you had to take everyday to keep your heart beating. 

The ones that did bully you, take a lucky guess, first unbelievably guilty, but you got them to pay you back by being your test subjects.

Often, they wouldn’t work, you were still trying to figure out what all these new potions meant and trying to work with the differences between demons and humans. Not to mention the strongest demons there are. 

When Belphie did get tricked into drinking the energy concoctions you made, and when they finally worked, he wouldn’t be off the walls like Mammon and Asmo.

He remains docile, talking for a little longer than usual, actually showing interest in what his brothers, and you, did.

It’s not like he was a completely different person, he was still your Belphie, but he had just that little more energy he needed to seemed interested in life as a whole.

When you did admit to him that you had been esstentially drugging him, he took a moment to compute.

MC, the first human he had trusted in so long, had been tricking him to stay awake longer?

To ignore the sin he repesented?

You quickly explained that you had tested it hundreds of times, several times on yourself, like a true scientist, and that you just wanted to spend more time with him, he managed to calm down, just a little.

He jokingly second guessed every drink you handed him from then on, but, honestly, he was happy you had used him like that.

The reasoning for it, for you two to be able to spend more time together, getting to no each other when he wasn’t half asleep or yawning at your every other word.

Mammon had invested in your business venture, but Belphie would be your top customer.

[starrybethany]

Matthew Tkachuk . 1 . Outrunning Karma

Word count: 3K

Song: Outrunning Karma by Alec Benjamin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4vD2S5vQMM

Today marks one month since I began working at this school. One month of teaching at a public school for the first time- one month of dealing with some of the best and worst kids I have ever met or taught.

“... but let me tell you guys, no matter what your previous English teachers might have told you, colors don’t always have to have symbolism. It could just be the author wanting you to visualize the object or situation more,” I explain, leaning back on my desk.

Despite this being a required sophomore English class, all of the kids look engaged and interested in the material. I’m not one to brag, but some of my previous students have told me that I’m the best teacher they’ve ever had because I talk and create activities that peak the students interest so that they want to learn the lesson.

I never tell them it’s because I spend hours scrolling through Pinterest, considering if each student would like each activity.

The bell rings signaling the end of the day and I glance over at the clock in surprise. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in whatever I’m teaching I don’t even notice the time passing me by. “Okay, well have a good night, everyone! There’s no homework tonight.”

I watch them leave the classroom, getting up to sit behind my desk and grade some homework and exercises I made the students do. I’m reading one of the essays about the book they read over the summer when the sound of heels clicking on the floor make me look up.

Anna Turner and I met in college. We had the same major, secondary education, but different minors because she teaches math and I teach English. When she found out that I was quitting my job at the all-girls Catholic school I used to teach at- for reasons I’d rather forget about- she begged me to apply at the public high school that she teaches at. As you can see, I got the job and decided to take it.

“How’s it going?” She asks, leaning over my desk.

“Good. I don’t have any students that have a grade lower than a C.” I do a fist pump in the air and she laughs at my antics.

“That’s good. So, Mr. Wright wants you in his office right now,” she tells me.

My eyes widen in surprise. At my last school, whenever you got called to the office you knew something bad was going to happen. I was only there once and for the reason that I was called in there for, I quit.

“Did I do something wrong?” I question.

“No, no you didn’t,” she reassures me. “Just go.”

So I follow her orders, making my way through the hallways with “hellos” to my students on my way to the small office at the back of the school. I knock on the door before opening it, immediately thrown off by the dim lighting in the usually well-lit office.

I’m startled by the sight of someone who is not Principal Wright behind his desk. Instead, it’s an attractive man who appears to be my age or maybe even younger. It’s obvious that his borderline-blonde-borderline-brown hair is naturally curly but he has it cut into a way that he can control it.

His eyes are a gentle mix of blue and green- it’s hard to tell what it actually is. His mouth parts, revealing a gap in between his top two front teeth which makes me swoon at the boyish vibe that he gives off.

When a smirk covers his face I snap out of my daydream about our seven kids, realizing that I’m probably drooling all over the floor at how hot this guy is.

“Oh, sorry, um, I’m supposed to be meeting with Principal Wright,” I stutter through, cursing myself for the lack of confidence.

“No, you’re not.”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion and nervousness rushes through me, both because of the confusion this situation is bringing and the fact that such a good-looking guy is staring at me right now. “I’m sorry?”

“Come sit down, Y/N.”

I’m immediately thrown off by the fact that this guy knows my name. How does he know me yet I don’t know him?

“Um, I’d rather not,” I deny as politely as I can, taking a step back. My back touches something and I freeze, my blood running cold. I turn around slowly to find a tall, looming man behind me. He smiles at me but it’s obvious by the gesture that I need to do whatever this stranger is telling me.

So I turn around, ignoring the fact that the smirk on this stranger’s face has grown, and reluctantly sit in one of the arm chairs in front of Mr. Wright’s desk. Or this guy’s desk, who knows anymore?

“How was class today?” He inquires.

I give him an odd expression, unsure of his intentions. I don’t know him and the fact that I’m pressured to talk to him in such a weird setting makes me unsettled. It’s also weird that he would pressure me into talking to him just to ask me about the students. That can’t be the only thing that he wants to know from this conversation, but I don’t know what else he wants to know.

“Good,” I answer simply, not positive of what to say or how much to give away.

“So, let me introduce myself. My name is Matthew, this school and I have a deal and since you’re going to stick around for a while, it’s time to inform you of, uh, what’s going on,” he begins. I grow more and more anxious with every word. “We provide protection to this school, since you know it’s not in the safest area of the city, and in return the school allows us to use the facilities and resources for our, um, how do I say this, activities.”

I raise my eyebrows in question to the ‘activities’ part but quickly shove them back down. By the way that he phrases it, the situation isn’t anything good, none the less legal, so it’s best to know as little as possible.

But really, the school allows this to occur on campus? With kids around? What if the kids see someone getting murdered or using cocaine, will the school pay for their therapy bills or can it afford court bills if they get taken to court?

“Now that you’re a part of the crew-”But I’m not-”You might have to do some things in order to keep your protection.”

From the way he says it, I know it’s not just protection from muggers or rapists on the outside. Now, it includes him and whatever gang or mafia or mob he’s a part of.

“Like what?” I find myself asking.

He grins at me, showing me that gap again. This time, it doesn’t make me swoon. Instead it makes my heart beat ten times faster. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, sweetheart.”

He stares at me and I stare back at him. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what he wants me to say. I’m afraid to say anything in fear of saying the wrong thing- one wrong thing and I could get my head blown off. And I know if I open my mouth I just might start crying.

“Any questions?”

I shake my head silently.

“Okay. We’ll call you when you’re needed then. Or maybe stop by your apartment, depending on the time,” he responds, playing with one of Principal Wright’s pens. “Milan, show her out.”

The big man from earlier guides me back into the hallway all the while I can feel Matthew’s eyes on me. I take deep breaths to steady my breathing and it’s like I’m just going through the motions, packing up my stuff and driving back to my apartment.

My apartment. They know where I live. And I bet if I packed up and moved, they would figure out my address then, too. The mafia never lets you go once it gets its hold on you.

Troy: FaceTime?

I’ve never rejected a FaceTime call from my boyfriend. These days, those calls are too far and few between and I miss him more than I can put into words. It’s only been a year since he was transferred to Toronto but comparing that one year that he’s been away to the two and a half years that he’s been by my side, I can easily pick which one I prefer more.

Y/N: Not feeling well tonight, sorry.

I make my dinner, ignoring my phone vibrating beside me with an incoming text. I check it as I begin to eat.

Troy: What’s wrong?

I don’t respond to his text. It’s not like I can tell him the truth, that the mafia owns my work and threatened me. He would tell me to go to the police but it’s not that easy, Matthew probably has tons of people in his pocket, including the ones whose job it is to enforce the law.

I clean up my dinner, sitting down at the kitchen counter to grade an exercise I made the students write about an interesting thing they found out about their home city of Calgary.

The city of Calgary is run by a mafia called the ‘Calgary Flames.’ They’ve been around since 1972 and have had several leaders over the years, previously Mark Giordano and currently Matthew Tkachuk. You can recognize a mafia member by a tattoo all of the members have to get, which is a C with flames shooting out from it on the inside of their left ankle. They are famous for crimes like drug trafficking, money laundering, corruption of public officials, murder, and kidnapping just to name a few.

It feels like all of the air has been sucked out of me. This can’t be about the same person I met earlier, right? Sure, they share the same name and that Matthew does seem to be a part of something sketchy, but that’s just a coincidence. The Matthew that I’ve met and that I’ll have to be interacting with for who knows how long can’t be a part of something so- so vile.

I can’t imagine anyone doing any of those things listed. Those are all horrendous crimes and to do those around kids would make those people awful human beings. Well, there’s only one way I can tell if this is the same Matthew or not.

I need to see his ankle.

~

It’s a while before I see him again. The next time I see him I’m scanning through the pile of copies in my hands, frustrated by the fact that the copy machine didn’t staple the papers automatically once again.

“Hey Ms. Y/LN, was there any homework for the weekend?” The familiar voice of one of my students asks.

I lift my head to make eye contact, my blood running cold and I freeze in my place as my eyes meet Matthew’s. He’s standing next to Tanner, a student in my eighth hour, who asked the question, and it’s clear that he interrupted a conversation he was having with the older man to ask the question.

I know Matthew does business here but I didn’t expect him to actually communicate with the students. That seems like a boundary that he would know better than to cross, but I guess if he’s in the mafia he doesn’t know any boundaries.

“Um, I just wanted you guys to read chapters eight and nine of your novels for Monday,” I answer, crossing my arms protectively over my chest.

I watch the blonde’s eyes flicker down to watch the movement.

“Okay. See you Monday.” The sophomore shuts the locker, giving a lazy wave to the mafia leader before heading down the hall.

It’s like I’m stuck in place. I know I should move, I know I should avoid as much contact with Matthew as possible, but for some reason my feet won’t listen to my brain’s screaming.

He nods at me in greeting. “How are you doing today, Y/N?”

“Good,” I shift on my feet. I know I have to confirm whether he’s actually a mafia leader or not. If he’s not, he’s just some shady guy doing shady business at my place of work. If he is- well, I don’t even want to think about that.

The plan formulates in my head and I go to move forward, purposefully tripping over my feet and landing on the floor with a ‘thud’, all of the papers in my arms scattering throughout the hallway.

Just as I expected, as any person with an inch of compassion in their heart would do, he bends down on the ground to help me pick up the papers. I watch carefully as I pick up the sheets, eyes connected to his left ankle.

And there it is.

The student described it well in the writing, but it’s much more intricate and detailed up close. It’s a nice design, I’ll give him that, but knowing the terrifying meaning behind the symbol sends shivers up my spine.

All of my fears and worries are confirmed. The city’s mafia leader is standing in front of me, reaching out and expecting me to take his hand so he can lift me off of the ground. He wants me to touch his hands- hands he’s probably used to kill people with before.

He’s talking to me but it feels like I’m underwater. I can’t hear what he’s saying, all I can listen to is the thud of my heart and the static that my brain is creating with trying to think of a logical thought or reaction to this situation.

“Y/N?”

My body turns on it’s fight-or-flight instinct, and as I usually do, I decide to listen to the flight part. I take the papers out of his hand, being careful to not touch him, and mumble a, “Gotta go.”

I take off down the hall before he can react, reaching my classroom and practically slamming the door shut behind me.

Breathe, think.

“What happened to you?” Someone inquires.

My eyes snap up from the tile floor to see Anna sitting at a student desk. I know it’s not fair, but I can’t help but blame her. She’s probably known about the mafia’s involvement here all along and yet, she told me to get a job here. And she’s the one who sent me down to the office to meet Matthew.

I’ve been avoiding her for the past week, always making sure that I’m talking to a student or too busy to chat with her whenever I see her. I feel disrespected and hurt that she would put me in a situation like this.

I thought we were better friends than that.

I narrow my eyes at her, knowing that if I say anything it won’t be that nice.

She sighs. It takes everything in me to not sock her in the mouth because of that sigh.

“Listen, Y/N, I know you’ve met Matt now and-””How could you ever do this to me?” I snap, interrupting her.

“It’s deeper than you think-””Of course it is, he’s in the fucking mafia, Anna!” I can’t help but yell. “I want you out. I want you out of my classroom and out of my life.”

I can see the hurt burn in her eyes at my words but I no longer care. If she doesn’t care about me enough that she’s willing to risk my safety and well-being, I don’t want to continue a relationship with her.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” I yank the door open for effect. “Get out. Now.”

She drags her feet as she leaves, like she thinks that I’ll end up changing my mind and suddenly decide that what she did was okay. I won’t.

~

“Hey,” Troy greets me as I answer his FaceTime call.

“Hi. I miss you,” I grin sadly, wanting nothing more than to be in my loving boyfriend’s arms right now. Having a long distance relationship is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done.

“I miss you too. I wish we could’ve FaceTimed the other day,” he states, bringing up the fact that I left him on read when all he wanted to do was talk to me.

I sigh. “I wasn’t in the mood, Troy. And I’m not in the mood to talk about it today, either.”

He nods. “I can respect that. So… day…?”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. Even though we are separated by three thousand miles and are in two completely different provinces, our calls usually have great connection with problems only if it’s raining outside. And judging from the clear skies in both of our backgrounds, that’s not a problem.

“What? Sorry the connection cut out,” I respond, deciding that it must be the wifi or something.

“I said… your…”

“Ask it again,” I request.

“How… today?”

I bite my lip out of frustration. After the rough day that I’ve had today and the unknown that’s coming tomorrow, poor connection when I’m just trying to rant and catch up with my boyfriend is the last thing that I want.

“The connection is just not working, Troy, I can’t hear you,” I admit.

“... not… fault!” His voice raises and the screen freezes, one frame replacing the other every couple of seconds.

“I don’t know why you’re yelling now.”

“Because…” The sound completely cuts out. Exhaustion hits me, from finding out that Matthew is in the mafia, to yelling at Anna, to getting into this argument with Troy. All I want to do is sleep and become refreshed for tomorrow.

“Troy, I’m getting tired, I’m going to head off to bed. Hopefully this connection will be better tomorrow.” I hang up the phone before he can say anything, knowing that I won’t be able to hear it anyways.

I know one thing. And that’s that I’m not ready for what’s coming tomorrow.

[ineffably-effable]

good omens fic recommendations

If you’re looking for coherent reviews you’ll be disappointed, but if you want a list of quality recommendations - with excerpts & some vague ramblings as to what the reader should be in the mood for - enjoy!

29 recommendations underneath the cut.

(17k) Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak by triedunture 

Crowley and Aziraphale learn to move in tandem.

Mood: beautiful slow burn, misunderstandings, heartache that would be solved if someone taught these besotted idiots to communicate.

Paradox: Crowley has never risen from his seat and gone to stand behind someone at a counter, never put his arms around their middle and pulled them tight against him. Has never apologized with a touch, with a closeness, with the thin line of his body. So why does it occur to him that he might do that now? Might press up against Aziraphale from behind and rest his forehead on Aziraphale’s nape and ask silently to be forgiven. As if it’s the most natural thing in the world when he knows, intimately knows that it’s not.

(51k) how deep the sand by Handful_of_Silence

After the Apocalypse, and with characteristic slowness, both Crowley and Aziraphale think there might be something they need to sit down and talk about.

And then Aziraphale disappears.

Mood: tragic twist of fate, separation, hurt/comfort, guilt & devotion.

He thinks about the picnic they’d have had. He’d have pulled the top down from the Bentley and let the wind tussle his hair, the weather of a glorious August now gone warming his skin. They would have chatted, sitting carefully on a tartan blanket, and they’d have made their own plans.

They might have even found the right time to talk properly. Honestly. About everything that’s been, about the possibilities that could be now that everything’s different.

About maybe not going back to London. Going back to their Jobs.

About leaving it all behind, together.

The words Crowley didn’t say are clogging up his throat.

(14k) Made Flesh by rfsmiley / @redfacesmiley

AU in which Crowley is two entities, and Aziraphale isn’t sure how he feels about either of them.

Mood: oblivious idiots, daemon!fic-if-you-squint, pining & tamed desire.

Eleven years pass, attended by another marked change; the creature cannot bear to be out of the same room as Aziraphale. The angel, isolated and frayed as he is by the fear of the coming war, has no problems with this development – he needs the company – although sometimes he looks into the yellow eyes and feels the spear of a nameless sorrow. If it comes to it, Heaven will win, of course; the certainty, however, is bitter. He tries not to think about what will happen to Crowley, or to this small being that runs at his heels as he moves, gripped by a contagious agitation.

(8k) Ad Astra by drawlight / @drawlight

Some things can only be said in the dark.

Mood: beautiful prose, longing, ruthless inner-voices & insecurities.

Aziraphale swallows. His eyes hold Crowley’s. Crowley stands very still, wretched. Terrified. Watching Aziraphale’s very wide eyes, the open of the mouth. There is a softness in Aziraphale’s look, in the swallow of his throat. It could be? (It might not be.) He wants to scream it; he wants to say nothing at all. Let me stay in this bit of maybe. Maybe is not no, maybe means perhaps, someday. Maybe means you might feel the same. (You might not.)

(13.3k) Alegría by drawlight / @drawlight

After the End That Wasn’t, Heaven and Hell are leaving them alone. Entirely alone. (This is a story with nothing of miracles.)

Mood: beautiful prose, longing, ruthless inner-voices & insecurities + domesticity

(Yes, I know the mood is almost the same as above, but honestly this is @drawlight, what were you expecting? Read it if you want a Crowley that will absolutely wreck you & leave you heart-broken.)

Aziraphale is a touch-strong man. He touches everything (Crowley knows, he always watches). Aziraphale loves and he likes to love through his skin. His fingers on a particularly fine leather binding, dipping into the embossed author, the tooled name of the title. His hands breaking apart a loaf of Italian sourdough, fingers coming away with residual flour. Dipping his hands into sacks of grain, rubbing a fine weave of silk through. He touches Crowley too, in his usual and gentle way. The touch on the arm to still Crowley’s whiplash self, to make a point during an argument. Aziraphale who thinks nothing of oh, my dear, you’ve got an eyelash just there, let me get it for you. Crowley has a good memory. He catalogs them all, cross-examines them. Six-thousand years of maybes and what-ifs and what was thats ? But Aziraphale is just as easy with his touches on glass bottles while pulling out his favorite vintages. He touches his favorite fountain pen far more often than he reaches for Crowley. No, in context, it means nothing. It’s just Aziraphale as usual. Don’t look too closely, it doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t.

(13k) small infinities and all that by JustStandingHere / @billypotts

Crowley and Aziraphale are turned human. This is the aftermath.

Mood: slow burn, domesticity, best friends falling in love & all the beautiful awkwardness that entails.

And there it is, isn’t it? Something they’ve known for a long time, but haven’t named it. Have been too scared to name it. Something that speaks in their bones, in the space between them.

(12k) the deft, sweet gesture of your hand by deadgreeks / @mortuarybees

Crowley arrives injured at Aziraphale’s door. He takes care of him, reads him an awful lot of Mary Oliver, and knits elaborate metaphors for his insecurities (literally).

Mood: beautiful writing, mixed signals, feeling unworthy of the millenia-long object of your affections, unable to create gifts that are good enough for the people you love and being in love with a complete idiot.

Aziraphale has tended to the sick and injured during periods of plague and war many times throughout his long life, and he tries to adopt the same kind-but-impersonal detachment as he carefully washes Crowley. It is slightly harder, Crowley being the sole object of six thousand years of repressed desire, but he’s also Aziraphale’s closest friend, and a person besides, so he does him the courtesy of not ogling his bare legs or torso as he goes.

(9.3k) Slow by write_away / @theirdarkreturning

Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves somehow married. Crowley fears going too fast. Aziraphale forges ahead. Neither know how to ask questions of each other.

Mood: Miscommunication, with a hefty side order of pining and the urge to yell at your screen in the vain hopes of getting through to these two idiots.

For Crowley - that was the demon’s name, and it’s best to memorize it quickly, before he changes it yet again - knew that the angel would love him if he just asked, and Aziraphale - the angel, though there’s no rush with him, there never really is - knew that the demon would take him in with open arms if he just asked. It’s just that neither of them were good at asking things of one another.

(14.7) Lead me to the banquet hall by obstinatrix, wishwellingtons

Crowley loves taking Aziraphale out to eat almost as much as Aziraphale loves eating, but it’s always a bit of a one-sided affair. Aziraphale has never understood why. Crowley planned on keeping it that way, but best laid plans…

Mood: wonderful footnotes, pining, creating a shrine to the object of your longing and then submitting to the mortifying ordeal of them finding it.

The thing about Aziraphale is quite simply this: Crowley can never have enough of him. God, Satan, everyone knows he’s tried. Crowley has spent centuries glutting himself on the sight of him only to be empty again days later, wondering whether it’s too soon to show his face in the bookshop. Aziraphale drifts from brasserie to bar in his quest to indulge in the best of human culinary expertise; Crowley follows after, because he knows Aziraphale will be there. It isn’t enough, but it’s something, and the only thing Crowley can ever expect.

(14.2k) all i need, darling, is a life in your shape       by deadgreeks / @mortuarybees

After everything, Aziraphale and Crowley, by unspoken agreement, begin sharing their lives.

Mood: domesticity with pining, chosen family, acts of love, boyfriend sweaters & idiots in love.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes indulgently, passing out the rest of the gifts and sneaking little glances at Crowley as he struggled with the box. He’d worked so hard on it, searched all the best yarn shops in London for the perfect skeins. He even had to sit on hold for hours with the manufacturer of the yarn he chose because he needed another skein from the same dye-lot, knowing that Crowley would want only the best, and he’d notice even a minor inconsistency in the coloring.

(27k) Long Is The Way, And Hard by Kate_Lear

A story of Crowley’s thoughts about Aziraphale, from the Beginning to the present day.

And also of temptation, and want, and whether - for a Fallen Angel - redemption is possible after all.

Mood: slow burn, denial, temptation, jealousy, lust to love, character growth.

Aziraphale hasn’t shared his bed with anyone. He can’t have done, because if he has then Crowley is going to hunt down that mortal – in this world or the next – and enact something creatively and comprehensively bloody upon them. Possibly involving methods from the Spanish Inquisition, that have scabbed over in Crowley’s memory and that he shies away from picking at.

(25.7k) your weekend lover by witching

Mood: miscommunication, mutual pining, ineffable idiots who are on the same page but reading a different damn book

It was purely physical, they had agreed on that from the beginning. Aziraphale couldn’t quite remember why he had agreed to that, but he suspected it had something to do with not ruining their friendship, or some such nonsense. At any rate, that was the deal. The new Arrangement. Purely physical.

(16k) I’ve Got You To Help Me Forgive by Kate Andrews (k8andrewz)

Pt1: Crowley deals, more or less, with the Fall. Also, Crowley has feelings. The angel doesn’t help with that. Also, sunny rocks are very nice.

Pt2: In which tea is made, a story is shared, and a leap of faith is taken.

Mood: Lust, first times, innocence, ineffable sex, memory wipes, Aziraphale showing initiative and being a bit of a bastard, overwhelmed Crowley, Gabriel is a total dick. Fair warning this isn’t PWP, it has loads of plot and feelings too and fantastic characterizations.

The air in Crowley’s lungs took leave of him all at once. Memories he hadn’t given a good look at in ages resurfaced. Memories he’d quite ably buried, thank you very much and he sat up abruptly, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees. He set his sunglasses on the table, then pressed his face into his palms and gave it a good scrub. After a sidelong glance at Aziraphale who sat there patiently watching him, he asked, “What am I supposed to do with a question like that, hmm?”

(13.9k) The Lightness of You by Rend_Herring

God should not have built them with such discrepancy, made them need for love, and long for wholeness, then left them to their own devices.

Mood: When you want to mix up your pining & angst with a bit of humour, sex and a praise kink.

The jasmine vine actually tries brushing up against Aziraphale’s cheek and he blushes, says, “Oh, you,” all indulgent and sweet-like.  It leaves a fragrant white blossom behind his ear.

“Thank you,” Aziraphale says sincerely, and Crowley glares openly at the traitors. “That’s very kind of you.” His smile really is a beacon of otherworldly radiance. An orchid blooms on the spot, the epiphyte whore.

(7.2k) summer and his pleasures by witching

absence makes the heart grow fonder, and crowley and aziraphale’s hearts were plenty fond to begin with. a story told through phone calls while they are separated for work-related reasons.

Mood: drunk dialing and dirty talk, idiots in love

Something clicked in Aziraphale’s mind, and he held back a curse word threatening on his tongue. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, he found himself just in that sweet spot of intoxication where he was cognizant enough to recognize that he was doing something he absolutely shouldn’t do, but not quite enough to stop himself. “I would, you know,” he said, full of newfound confidence. “I’d – if you were here, I’d make it… very much worth your while.”

(3.6k) Birds of a Feather by idiopathicsmile

Aziraphale nests. Crowley relearns some crucial facts about angelic courtship rituals.

Mood: Jealousy, lashing out, withdrawal, oblivious idiots slowly learning how to use their words.

Is Crowley jealous of a musty old flat above a used book store? In the millennia he’s spent slowly twisting his own heart around Aziraphale’s little finger, it’s not the weirdest thing he’s been jealous of, to be honest.

(11k) A Touch Like Sunlight    by goodomensblog / @goodomensblog / @just-quintessentially-me

When Aziraphale is threatened by angels who seek justice for Aziraphale’s crimes against Heaven, Crowley comes up with a plan to keep him safe from harm.

Mood: PTSD from witnessing the attempted murder of your husband, it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you, self-sacrificing idiots & badass idiots protecting eachother.

“Right! Brunch!” Aziraphale says, bouncing up on his toes - as if they hadn’t just been discussing the murder of archangels. “Do you think they have crepes?”

(13.6k) These Things Were Here by MajorEnglishEsquire

Crowley, following times of overwhelming distress, resorted to the snake form as a means of finding comfort and solitude.

Mood: displays of affection, love shown through care-taking, using your ineffable boyfriend as a security blanket.

Nothing like it happened again for years. The pattern, however, was too recognizable to be mistaken when it did reoccur.

When commended for some catastrophe of which he was no part, Crowley became a completely disconsolate mess, but he still actually handled those occasions better than when he was, in fact, party to such disaster.

If he was blamed, but not actually at fault, Aziraphale may find him on the verge of discorporation due to alcohol poisoning, but at least he would say what was wrong. It was worse when he had an assignment he couldn’t breathe a word of. It was worse when he would smile bitterly and leave silently, haunted beyond expression.

(4.6k) let sleeping snakes lie by kythen / @kythen

The world doesn’t end. Crowley falls asleep. And Aziraphale stays by his side, waiting for him to wake up again.

Mood: acts of love, comfort, warmth, home

To some extent, he understands Crowley’s need for sleep. It had been an exhausting decade for the both of them, what with the end of the world business, and it had culminated spontaneously in them cutting off their ties with both Heaven and Hell rather dramatically, which were the only ties that either of them have ever had since the Beginning. Just as Crowley had sauntered from the ranks of Heaven to Hell, he had finally found his way out of Hell and into something that finally felt like freedom.

(6.4k) All The Dreams We Had by ImpishTubist / @impishtubist

This time will be different, Aziraphale thinks. This time, Crowley will remember.

Mood: amnesia, groundhog day - but centered on a single relationship - and with more angst

It takes a year for Crowley to fall for him again, a year until the air raid and the church and the books; a year before Aziraphale finds himself pressed up against a brick wall and exchanging desperate, burning kisses.

Crowley’s forgotten again by morning.

(70k) The Place You Need To Reach by Zetared / @zetablarian 

When Crowley is forcibly recalled to home office, Aziraphale conspires with a denounced saint and strikes a deal with the agents of Hell to get him back.

Mood: sacrifice, loss of self, trauma, love, tenderness and fantasy-novel-esque world & character building

“I have a journey to complete,” Aziraphale reminds the Adversary, primly. “May I begin?”

“In good time, Aziraphael. In good time. Tell me, do you recall the rules correctly?”

Aziraphale grits his teeth at the purposeful use of his forgotten name, but he doesn’t mention it. “Yes, of course. Using no miracles or ethereal influence of any kind, I must walk through the circles of Hell and complete an unknown task in each to earn passage to the next. I must not look behind me, where Crowley will walk. I may speak to Crowley, but he cannot speak back. I will not hear him or see him or feel even a hint of his presence. I will move forward, and, God willing, he will follow me.”

(1.9k) Kissing, Accidentally. by skybound2 / @skybound2

The one where Crowley gives in and kisses Aziraphale while he has him pinned against a wall.

Mood: hilarious footnotes, brilliant Crowley internal monologues and ineffable kissing against a wall.

No. No what actually happens is that when Crowley slams Aziraphale up against a wall in the middle of a hallway at a former-Satanic-hospital-turned-paintball-complex to express to him how very not nice he is, his hindbrain, forebrain and all other portions of his brain, decide that while denial has been a lovely place to reside for the previous six millennia, they are rather due a relocation at this point. And “Oh! Would you look at that! Here’s the oh-so-very soft mouth of an oh-so-very-beautiful angel right in front of us! And all we have to do to get there is to just…lean forward an inch. Less than an inch, in fact! How fantastic!”

(9.3k) Build Our Kingdom by Mackem 

Mood: : ineffable dates, promises kept

“Ready for lunch?” Crowley drops to his knees to start unbuckling the straps on the basket as though this is something they do all the time; as though he hasn’t just effortlessly catapulted Aziraphale back in time almost fifty years.

“You remembered,” Aziraphale breathes as wonder courses through him. He mentioned something once during an awkward moment, half a century ago, and now here kneels a demon atop a picnic blanket.

“Hmm?” Crowley barely shoots him a sidelong glance as he concentrates on opening the basket.

Aziraphale’s eyes do not move from him. “You remembered,” he repeats, no less stunned. “Crowley, you really didn’t have to.”

Crowley’s hands still. Eventually, his eyes still on the basket, he murmurs, “Well, we did The Ritz, didn’t we?”

(9k) On The Matter Of Touch by Somedrunkpirate

For two ineffable husbands, they don’t really touch each other much. Here is a story on why that might be.

Mood: touch-starved idiots in love, heart-breaking internal monologues, misunderstandings, miscommunication, protective idiots.

Crowley had decided long ago that curiosity should have been a sin, because it has been the one thing consistently tempting him in his existence. He’s done everything he can think of and more, just so see what it was all about. But this, with Aziraphale, feels more than just an experience he can add to his endless tally

(8.2k) dum memor ipse mei by NeverNooitNiet

There is something, Aziraphale thinks, that is inherently selfish— unangelic, even— about grief. But then of course, the same could be said about love.

Mood: identity angst, calling Aziraphale out on his bullshit

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous ,” Crowley snaps. “Of course I don’t— angel, do you have any idea just how much more straightforward my life would be if only I were able to hate you?”

(5.6k) bent to the very earth by Ark / @et-in-arkadia

Use me, please, Crowley had said, so Aziraphale takes him at his word.

Mood: tenderness & kisses & sex against a wall

Aziraphale kisses him back because that is what makes sense, kissing Crowley, why, the thought crosses his mind often enough—he just never had the sort of momentum that seems to fire up Crowley now. Crowley whose hands are shaking before they ball up as fists on Aziraphale’s lapels, Crowley who keeps kissing him and kissing him like otherwise he’ll drown.

(40k) Lit in the Darkness by ToEdenandBackAgain / @toedenandbackagain​

Mood: Aziraphale and Crowley sleeping together through the ages. Mutual pining.

Aziraphale, despite being nowhere hear as gangly as Crowley, is somehow still all arms and legs when he sleeps. Crowley takes an elbow to the face three times before he wedges the angel between the wall and his body with an angry growl, making sure to trap the flailing limbs tight beneath his own.

Works In progress

this gorgeous ineffable wives snippet by @mia-ugly

Mood: beautiful writing, emotional vulnerability, submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known,

“Whatever happens tomorrow -“ And something will happen, they won’t walk away from this. They’d never be allowed. “Darling, you should know -”

the bucket list

  by darcylindbergh / @forineffablereasons  / @watsonshoneybee​

If you’re going to go native, you might as well go all the way.

Mood: saying the absolutely wrong thing at the wrong time, reaching your breaking point, miscommunication and heart break.

“You know, we are the way we are,” Aziraphale said slowly, pressing it a little, brushing his wing up against Crowley’s, “but we can also change, Crowley. We have done, over the years. We’ve changed quite a lot, since we first met.”

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #472

Top Ten Suggestions for Future Star Wars Games

Concluding an accidental trilogy of Top Ten lists that feature the word “Star”, here we journey back to a galaxy far, far away. This is also one of those lists that’s been bubbling under for quite a while, since the announcement (feels like ages ago now) that Disney have shopped the Star Wars licence around to a number of developers, and we’ll get future games from companies other than EA. But really it goes back even further, because for me Star Wars and gaming are inexorably linked. I associate my teenage PC gaming phase very closely with Star Wars, because it occurred in the mid-nineties, when Star Wars games were truly ascendent. In a run that I would argue stretched from the release of X-Wing in 1993, right through to Knights of the Old Republic in 2003, it felt like just about every genre was getting a nod from the House of Skywalker, and generally speaking the games were excellent. This time also saw the resurgence of Star Wars as a multimedia powerhouse, with the films getting reissued on video (and in Widescreen!) before the 1997 release of the Special Editions, the subsequent DVD releases, and then in 1999, the beginnings of the Prequel Trilogy with The Phantom Menace. You could argue that that’s when the wheels fell off, because even with the “Han Shot First” controversy and mixed reaction to some of the new effects shots, the late-nineties releases had been warmly received, Star Wars felt cool and exciting all the time, and anticipation was building to fever pitch at the thought of new movies. Amidst the Jar Jar hatred there was, I think, a bit more antipathy towards stories set in the Clone Wars, and although there were still some very good games being released (the first LEGO Star Wars came out in 2005!), the spark of the Golden Age was mostly absent.

Could we be entering a new Golden Age, or at least a Silver Age? Maybe; hopefully! I really, really enjoyed Jedi: Fallen Order and Squadrons, even though neither are perfect and both have plenty of rough edges. Now that the Skywalker Saga is out of the way and the franchise as a whole is spreading out into new areas (check out the number of Disney+ shows on the way), perhaps we’ll see all different facets of the galaxy explored in games too. And that’s what this list is: ten possible games, set in the Star Wars universe, that I think would be cool.

For the most part I’m not trying to invent a whole game; rather, it’s “Star Wars in this genre” or “Star Wars with this hook”. There’s probably an exception or two here and there, but you’ll get the drift. Some of these have been in my mental wishlist for years, from right back to when I first played X-Wing on my mate’s Mac, or when I installed a friend’s copy of Dark Forces from floppy disk (we, er, did that in those days). One of the best things about Star Wars is that it contains multitudes; George Lucas really did create a whole galaxy full of weird side characters, intriguing backstory, and funky-looking locations (aided and abetted, of course, by a bevy of talented collaborators). What corner of the universe couldn’t support a game of some kind?

So here’s to the future, to the newly-rechristened Lucasfilm Games, and to ten titles that could all benefit from beginning with those classic blue words on a black background.

Jedi Padawan RPG: I’ve wanted a game like this for about twenty years: a third-person action-RPG where you play a Padawan. You create your character and build your lightsaber, and then follow your master on missions around the Republic, learning the ways of the Force and developing your character. In a way, Fallen Order has adopted some of these ideas; the fact you only use a lightsaber and Force powers, for instance. But in my mind this is more similar to something like the first Fable, or maybe Mass Effect, where you’d have a hub to return to (the Jedi Temple) and then go off on missions that you could choose. All the while there’d be a plot bubbling up, and an arc to follow, and all sorts of quasi-open-world Jedi shenanigans. It’d be cool if they could make lightsabers feel like the really dangerous one-hit-kill weapons they are in the films, or if you could use them to, y’know, open doors and stuff. Maybe this could be set in the “High Republic” era we’re starting to explore.

Deus Ex-style first-person RPG: I suppose this one could be reductively called “Cyberpunk on Coruscant”, but the idea is you’d play someone – not a Jedi, in my mind – going on quests or solving some kind of mystery, shooting people in first person whilst also upgrading your body and abilities in typical RPG style. I wouldn’t want it to be too dark; I don’t like it when people try to make Star Wars “edgy”. But that Mandalorian or Rogue One tone of seriousness interspersed with Star Wars’ typical melodrama and weirdness would be good. I see your character as a small-time crook or maybe a minor mercenary who by circumstance is forced to take missions for either the Rebels or the Empire (or maybe First Order and Resistance); perhaps mirroring Poe Dameron’s journey from spice smuggler to X-Wing superstar. It’d be cool if there was Fallout-style hit-modelling on characters, and if your arm or whatever got damaged, you could have it replaced with a robot one.

Star Wars meets Elite: I even have a title for this one: “Scoundrel”. Basically, like I say, it’s Elite but in the Star Wars universe; you have a ship, you fly from planet to planet, you trade goods or offer passage, you spend your money on upgrading your ship or buying a new one. You’re Han Solo, basically; hence “Scoundrel”. In my mind it’s set at the dawn of the Rebellion, so you can choose where your allegiances – and your ethics – lie. Take on official Imperial assignments? Help their war effort? Stay neutral but legal? Stay out of the politics, but, y’know, smuggle a little bit? Run a bit of spice? Or do you go all-in and work for the Rebellion – even take part in military action? Maybe it could even run all the way up to Return of the Jedi and give you the chance to fight in the Battle of Endor! C’mon, this one has “hit” written all over it.

Clone Troopers turn-based “Tactics” game: by “Tactics” I mean like X-COM or, well, Gears Tactics; turn-based team combat games. I think of all the groups of military characters most suited to this style, it would be the Clone Troopers; they’re a well-organised military force that functions as part of a team. We know there are loads of types of Troopers, with different uniforms for different jobs, so there’s lots of room for customising your team, as well as experimenting with different classes. Plus if they die there’s more to come, they’re just in vats! Get Temuera Morrison to voice them all for added authenticity.

A point-and-click adventure: this was the first ever idea I had for a Star Wars game, because at the time I was really, really into adventures. This could be anything; I’m not too fussed on the plot. Some kind of mystery obviously lends itself to the format. Whether you play as the same character all the way through or switch protagonists (a common genre trope), I don’t mind. But I want it to be a fairly straightforward, old-fashioned point-and-click game, with no action or QTEs. Make it look like Thimbleweed Park, make it look like Clone Wars or Rebels, make it look as real as possible, it’s all fine; just give me a slow-burn narrative adventure story in the Star Wars universe please.

Lemmings, but with porgs: yeah, there’s nothing more to add to this. Maybe you play one of the Space Nuns, or even Chewbacca, and you have to help out all these crazy porgs? They’re just wandering around, getting into mischief, chewing on the Falcon or playing with a lightsaber, and they’ll kill themselves if you don’t help. That’s it. That’s the game. Lemmings, but with porgs.

Rebel base construction/management game: my template here would be stuff like Evil Genius or Two Point Hospital: real-time games where you build different rooms or services in a given play space. So, the Rebels are constantly darting all over the galaxy, setting up shop temporarily and then evacuating when the Empire comes a-calling; here, you have to kit out the different bases, often to service different aims (a recon base, an aerial support base, a training centre, etc), and in different planetary conditions (think Hoth, Yavin, or Crait). Obviously there are essentials: communication, power, accommodation. Then you can build starship docks, weapons arrays, bacta tanks, astromech services, even Jedi training rooms. Instead of attracting “customers” the idea is to be recruiting new Rebels, so the bigger and better your base, the more troops you have. Maybe there can even be some kind of meta-game where the progress of the war is smoother if your bases are better? But there’d be virtually no combat, apart from maybe shooting probe droids or scaring away wampas. Anyway, I think it sounds cool.

Rebel Commandos cover-shooter: I guess this could also be a Clone Trooper game, but we’ve already had a Clone FPS, and I just invented Clone Tactics up the page a bit, so let’s spread the love. It’s basically Gears of War but with the Rebel Alliance. Think about the Battle of Endor or the Battle of Scarif; teams of well-trained and battle-hardened troopers up against superior odds but still kickin’ ass. Unlike the rent-a-clone nature of the Tactics game, this would be more story-driven, with a small team (four, maybe, as it’s a good number for co-op) who have to infiltrate and/or assault heavily-fortified enemy positions. I think this could be good with a nice narrative behind it, fleshing out the Star Wars universe, and maybe offering a bit of those Rogue One-style shades of grey.

Fallout Shelter-style Jawa Sandcrawler management game: utini! Jawas are great aren’t they? Whether it’s electrocuting Artoo, cheering at podracers, or just eating the shit out of a great big egg, everyone loves a good Jawa. How can you make a game about Jawas? Well, what about if you’re this tribe or group or whatever of Jawas, and you’ve got your own knackered sandcrawler. And as part of the game you have to develop it, tart it up a bit, recruit new bands of Jawas, and then, y’know, rob droids and flog ‘em. Like Fallout Shelter, you have to build and maintain different rooms in the sandcrawler to grow your people and earn more cash from droids, but you’re constrained a little by size. The sandcrawler can’t be expanded too much, and although you could upgrade to bigger ones, you have to make strategic decisions about where to allocate precious space. I see this as being quite low-fi and stylised (bring back Yoda Stories!), and working as a kind of chilled-out time-wasting game on Switch or something.

Homeworld, but in the Clone Wars: and we’re back to the Clone Wars again! But here, we kind of have to, as it’s the only war in the Star Wars wars that features two huge and evenly-matched armadas (Rebels vs Empire and Resistance vs First Order are both very much “scrappy underdogs up against vast organised militaries”). Playing as the Republic or the Separatists, you have to maintain huge fleets of capital ships, support craft, fighters and bombers, and go on missions to attack, defend, or escort. It’s probably the best way to recreate the feeling of that absolutely vast battles we see in the opening minutes of Revenge of the Sith. Maybe an add-on could even give us ground battles too, recreating scenes such as the Battle of Geonosis. Anyway, sounds cool don’t you think?

Incidentally – and speaking of the Star Wars of it all – this is the first week that we’re not watching a War for our family movie night. We’ve done ‘em all! All the episodes of the Skywalker Saga, the two live-action spin-off movies, and even (well, me an’ the eldest) the animated Clone Wars movie. I might do another Top Ten ranking them, based on the kids’ opinions; that’d be interesting. Although – of course – we’ve only got a couple of weeks to wait until the two Ewok movies hit Disney+. What a time to be alive!

Now, the Ewoks – there’s a good idea for a game there…

[rubyredsundae]

Mass Effect Trilogy Tag!

I was not tagged by anyone, I just really wanted to join in. If you see this and want to as well, please do! I've been loving reading through everyone's :)

I am a fan since… 2011ish? Definitely at least a year before ME3 came out. I remember watching my brother play ME2 and thinking it was so cool. While he was away it was a huge comfort for me to play it in his room, kind of like a bonding or cathartic experience for someone who wasn't there at the time.

When ME3 came out, me and him went to the midnight release at a gamestop like 40 minutes away or something, wearing clothes we threw together to kind of fit the N7 color scheme. Even though we don't talk anymore, those memories are still really precious to me. Also, the nostalgia of playing ME1 after-school or on the weekend, running to get my easy mac from the microwave during a cutscene, stuffing too hot mouthfuls while speeding the Mako towards the conduit on Ilos.

Favorite game of the series: It's a tough call between ME1 and ME2, but I'd say ME2. It's the game I get the urge to replay the most.

MaleShep or FemShep? Femshep all the way. I only play MShep when I want to do his exclusive romances. No offense to BroShep, but ME was the first game I ever played that let me not just be a girl, but customizable. Not just to be the already generated token girl character in a pack of boys. And not only can you play Femshep, but every game you are surrounded by smart, funny, tough women as squadmates. It was such a huge deal to me, and still is. Femshep represents so much. As Jennifer Hale put it, FemShep was a military grade boot to the video game industry glass ceiling.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer? I personally tend to lean spacer in-game, but I tend to use Earthborn when I'm writing fics.

Paragon or Renegade? Usually Paragon, but Renegade playthroughs can be really interesting, especially if I have a detailed background about why Shep is the way they are. My first Renegade, Krystle, is pretty bigoted and anti-alien until she meets Liara. Krystle is naturally guarded and quick to anger, so meeting someone who seemed to accept her and listen to her without judgment really opens her mind.

By the 2nd game, she wakes up in the cerberus lab with new biotic powers, having previously been a regular foot soldier. This makes her seeth, having someone completely take her agency, agreeing with the illusive man on the surface but plotting against him the entire time. She starts to lean more Paragon, if only to piss him off. She has the biggest smirk on her face when she blows up the collector base.

Biotics or Tech? Oooh, this is hard. Maybe biotics just the tiniest smidge because of Jack/Samara biotic bubble throw during the suicide mission. I don't know if we'll ever get a screen adaptation but THAT is a moment I would pay to see done with a big SFX budget behind it.

Favorite class: Sentinel! I don't know how much this reflects on my class preference in gaming in general, but I love the 'jack of all trades'ness of it. By the time I get an assault rifle, I don't really feel the need for anyone else to make up for something I lack. Also, tech armor in ME2? Where your shields regenerate automatically when it breaks, and the cool down is when you initially active it, instead of when you detonate it? Chef's kiss. I understand why it was nerfed in 3 but I'm still mad.

Favorite companion: Ho boy. This is obviously very difficult to choose but I'm gonna say Miranda. I've always loved and identified with her character, I love the accent, and she's always useful on missions. I was so happy when I learned she could be a squadmate in the armax arena.

Honorable mention to Ashley in ME1. Her character is rarely used to exposition lore, so she just gets to have her personality fleshed out. I don't always agree with her but she does seem genuinely willing to listen. ME3 tosses her out the airlock though; partially because her content was bugged and never restored, leaving her inclusion feel half-baked, and partly because Ash and Kaidan have to be able to serve the same plot function as each other and it negatively affects her character more than his. This could also be intentional on bioware's part, to try to flesh out kaidan's personality and tone down Ashley's as a response to criticisms of them from ME1.

Least favorite companion: Also difficult, because I don't really hate anyone as much as I am just less interested in some. I didn't like Zaeed for a long time, but I think he's much better and really funny in ME3. James was pushed on me too much at the beginning and it made me really dislike him, but I think he's greatly improved and also pretty funny in Citadel DLC. I'm also pretty indifferent to Jacob; I don't think he's a bad character, just disappointing because there was a lot of potential.

Not that every character has to go on and do some grand quest to be interesting, but I don't feel like Jacob every really got a big hero moment like everyone else. He is a very calm and introverted person (imo) who doesn't really share his feelings, so it's always been hard for to to connect with him on anything.

My squad selection: Depends on the game, but it usually involves Garrus lol. Typically it's Liara/Garrus in ME1, Miranda/Garrus for ME2, and Liara/Garrus again in ME3. I am very boring and predictable! If you have any suggestions for me to try out and mix things up, let me know!

Favorite in-game romance: Also depends on the game. ME1 it's Liara, hands down. It was the first game, really the first piece of media, where I was told two women could fall in love and be happy and that was okay. The amount of enlightenment and comfort in figuring out that I was bi these games brought me is kind of wild to look back on.

ME2 is a toss-up between Garrus and Thane. They are both wonderful but in completely different ways. I tend to now romance Thane on characters I don't plan on importing to ME3, or if I do, to just have a really depressed fucking Shepard lol. I hate how much Thane was brushed off, especially if you romanced him.

Other pairings I like: l love Miranda so much, but I'm a gay girl so I ship her and Femshep. Same goes for Tali, Jack, Ashley... damn I'm just really gay for straight girls huh :/

I don't really have any other ships for non-Shep related pairings.

Favorite NPC: Shiala is really cool to me, I wish we got to see her in 3. Emily Wong is also cool, also wish we saw her in 3. There's probably a lot more that when I come across them next I'll be like, "you! I love you! You're my favorite."

Oh also Joker! And EDI! But not together. Idk I feel like ME3 threw a curveball at me with "do you support organic/non-organic relationships?" Like m'am please don't ask me, I accidentally drank turian liquor last year, I'm not qualified to be an expert on this.

Favorite antagonist: Tbh I really dig Saren. I think his reasoning is super fascinating, both to set up how someone who's indoctrinated can rationalize to themselves that they are still in control; and as a foil to Shepard, to show what can happen when you become too isolated and the ends justify the means. I think his VA does a great job of walking the line between desperate survivor and madman. He's also the only antagonist in the trilogy that we ever fight 1 on 1 (ignoring squadmates) and it feels more personal. I think he's such a fantastic foe for the first entry in a trilogy and I don't think he gets enough credit.

Favorite mission: Is it cliche to say the suicide mission? It's honestly close to perfect. The stakes, the sequencing, the cinematics, the score. Everything works so well.

Favorite loyalty mission: Kasumi's and Tali's are really cool, as we all know. Samara's is also cool because it is entirely non-combat based. Shepard has to prove they can accomplish what seems impossible without a gun or biotics.

The confrontation at the end with Morinth always haunts me a little, because they are both right in their own way. Morinth's final line, "and they say I'm the monster", as you let Samara kill her, watch her scrambling backwards in fear... I know that she's a remorseless killer, but it gets me every time.

Favorite DLC: It's Citadel, obviously. Turns out what I really wanted was quality time and a party with all my friends. I love mass effect for many reasons, but simulating friends and affection when I had none has always made me bond to this series like other games don't. Is it sad? Sure! But I don't think love and affection for fictional characters should ever be shameful until it makes you hurt other people.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy? I'd say destroy. If the other options were presented earlier and we had time to stew with it, maybe I'd be more split. But all of this in 5 minutes? It's not like the collector base where the implications are obvious and the choice is just down to what Shepard believes. The 3 choices all seem like space magic out of nowhere, and none of them seem to really offer any insight on what Shepard should believe. So I say destroy, just because it's what Shep has intended and is most consistent with their character and their admiration of Anderson.

Favorite weapon: The spectre level assault rifle in ME1. Never have I felt more powerful.

Favorite place: Idk why but I just thought of the creepy lab with all the scientists during the leviathan DLC. I really love when Mass Effect leans into the Lovecraftian horror aspect of things. Talking to Sovereign and Vigil in ME1 gave me goosebumps my first few playthroughs.

A quote I like: I have hundreds, but the one off the top of my head is, "After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began." I have a poster of it up on my wall right now!

[bearpillowmonster]

Onward Review

The biggest complaints that I've heard about this movie were that the ending is better than the actual movie and that it's not as funny as most Pixar films. This was okay for me, I don't see Pixar movies for the comedy anyway, I originally saw the trailer and thought it was just alright, looked average, then I got super excited for it, then more trailers came out and then reviews and I just kind of fell out of it, wasn't sure if I wanted to see it in theaters...well I didn't, corona made sure of that, there was actually a plan to go though, what corona also made sure of was that it ended up on Disney+ so I could see it anyway...

In the end I expected a fun movie, but not much beyond that and what I got was pleasantly good, my least favorite thing was the trailers (other than putting Magic by the Cars in there) because they make it seem dull and spoils some things that I was expecting by the end of it, it's a movie where I don't think you can explain, just experience. And while I do like Chris Pratt, Tom Holland, and Julia Louis Dreyfus, that doesn't sell me on the movie because that's a good bit of stars, sometimes they let that go to their head and think that alone will sell a movie but I stand corrected, they do a very good job.

Mixes with the world, I like how orderly it is but it's so much so that it's a bit too easy to pick apart and be like "Well that's going to happen later on." predictable with its teases. They basically structure it around learning the spells and creating memories with dad, who is actually pretty cool, we see his legs (obviously) but they give them a lot of character, and sometimes it's like "how can he hear?" but the body language says it all, there are points in this film where he straight up stands up for his sons...Get it? As a pair of legs. The top half they give him just reminds me of Weekend at Bernie's, luckily they don't try to make him talk but Barley acts like he's always been there "Check it out Pop, Ian's still a bit naive." it's pretty charming the kind of relationships they build on their journey and it makes the world they live in blend in that much nicer. The dad is also an accountant which is what my grandfather was, who also died of an illness, who was more of a dad to me and I also have his grey college sweatshirt (wearing it as I'm writing this review actually) but my brother 'did' get to see him, he was an infant so he won't remember much so I can connect to this plot a decent amount and it did give me feels throughout but it's not like when I heard "bring your dad back for a day" I was like "This is for me, this is genius, I wish I could do that." That's whatever, it's not the concept that interested me or made me see this or even made this movie for me, it was the delivery and it did so pretty well.

It conveys that convenience can come at the expense of wonder, interest and excitement. I think they could've taken this one step further with Barley. Throughout the movie, he's seen as this, well, "dude" but sometimes it seems a little over the top and annoying (on purpose I'm sure), the mom even flat out says at one point "One is afraid of nothing, and the other is afraid of everything." that is literally the dynamic. What I think would make it better and make Barley more interesting overall is if they had him bored, actively looking for something to entertain himself with, practically begging for a quest, to see that he's desperate, that everything in the town is the same old, same old and give him a reason to be obsessed with this nerd stuff. Which they don't really explain where the dad got the staff but that's no big deal.

Is it the best Pixar movie? No, but it's nowhere near the worst either, I'd put it right in the middle, above Cars and Planes and all that but under stuff like Inside Out, Toy Story, and The Incredibles. There's this one scene that I call "the training wheels" which has nothing to do with it but you'll understand when you see it why I dub it thee, I can't get that scene out of my head and is kind of the point where everything started boosting and climbing its way up, I'm not sure what people meant by "the movie is bogged down because the ending is better than the actual movie." I mean yeah, it has to build up, that's obvious enough for any movie but it's not diminishing the rest of the movie either. I certainly see this as a literal meaning, "Onward" is kind of like Pixar saying "more original films" after a slew of sequels, a new era if you will.

[cnrmrphy-blog]

life as we know it 5

title: baby steps  warnings: weed mention, implied depression summary: a tiny bit of effort can go a long way, right?  author’s note: i had this done for a hot second, but things have been busy and school’s starting soon so we’ll see if i can keep some semblance of consistency lol part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

--

Connor Murphy had a complicated relationship with his little sister.  

He told you one day when they were both little, they would play in their backyard.  Zoe was obsessed with the Backyardigans (the best kids television show in her own personal opinion, but you learned Connor was more of a Pokémon kind of guy) and she would make him go on various adventures with her, sometimes even throughout their neighborhood if their mother was feeling particularly generous.  

They actually had fun.  Connor would come up with these crazy quests, and they would have to complete them before dinner or else the world would be destroyed.  He seemed like such an incredible storyteller, even if he was only seven years old.  Zoe idolized him. 

But then one day he just… stopped talking to her.  He stopped talking to everybody.  He never smiled, never laughed anymore.  At first, it was just loud, angry music that he would blare to drown out any noise (whether it was his father’s shouts or his own thoughts, it was impossible to tell.  Everything was too muddled together for him to make sense of it all)—but when he turned thirteen he became eerily silent.  Connor retreated into his room, sometimes with the smell of weed wafting from underneath the door, sometimes without.  

He stopped eating dinner with his family (he seemed to have stopped eating in general).  He stopped joining his family to watch television at night.  He refused to leave his room whenever Zoe and their parents went out on the weekends.  By the time he turned fifteen, he almost effectively cut off any sort of relationship he had with his family (his mother was stubborn as shit and wouldn’t give up on him.  It pissed him off).  

You actually have never met Zoe.  It wasn’t like it was a big deal to you or anything—she didn’t run in your admittedly small social circle and Connor definitely wasn’t close with her anymore.  It wasn’t as if he wanted it to be this way—he’s just been on a whole other planet for so long he didn’t know how to connect with his family anymore. 

But at least one thing was going to change today.  

You’re not quite sure how this even happened in the first place.  One moment your English teacher was assigning partner projects (she let you pick your partner?  Oh hell yes.) and the next you were making plans with Connor to meet up somewhere after school. 

Originally, you were just going to carpool to the Panera near by and to work, but then he cursed, saying that he was grounded and wasn’t allowed to stay out after school (which you were surprised he’d even care from what you learned about him, but you were not about to question it).  So then you suggested doing it at his house without thinking. 

He wasn’t… thrilled.  He almost convinced you to just put it off and work on it later, maybe during lunch tomorrow or some other day.  But you gave him your puppy dog eyes and he begrudgingly caved. 

So now you were waiting for Zoe, keeper of the car keys because apparently Connor lost driving privileges too. You two leaned against the wall in silence and you had yet to determine if it was uncomfortable or not.  You were leaning towards uncomfortable. 

You bit your lip as you gave Connor a sideways glance.  He was more broody than usual ever since you made your questionable suggestion.  He did agree, but it was clear his relationship with his sister was rocky at best.  You prayed you weren’t a catalyst for some sort of blow out because you definitely couldn’t handle that right now.  

You trained your focus on the ground.  “I don’t have to come over if you really don’t want me to.”

“It’s not—you’re not the problem.” Connor bit the inside of his cheek, “You already know everybody in my family fucking hates me.  They’ll have a field day when they find out someone’s willing to work on a project with me, let alone actually be my friend.” 

You snapped your gaze at Connor.  “Bullshit.  That’s not true.” 

“Yeah well,” Connor smiled mirthlessly, “I’m not exactly an angel.  Zoe has every right to hate me.” 

And what was that supposed to mean? 

“...It’s never too late to make amends.” You bumped his shoulder with your own, “Maybe nothing will be fixed right away, but at least you tried.  Baby steps.” 

Connor grunted, acknowledging you but said nothing more.  You sighed, “You are not a bad person Connor.  Whatever happened before doesn’t dictate your future.” 

It was subtle and quick, but Connor’s face fell and his eyes grew a little more dull, and it broke your heart.  The bags under his eyes were more prominent than usual—he was so incredibly tired.  

But then he sucked in a breath and straightened his back, and any evidence of emotion was wiped from his face.  He glanced at you and quirked a smile—one you couldn’t really tell what was behind it. 

“Quit worrying about me, nerd.” 

You scoffed, kicking his foot, “Says the guy that reads Catch 22 for fun, you nerd.” 

“Because it’s funny!” 

Voices interrupted you, and you looked over to see two girls walking towards you—one with a guitar slung over her shoulder and the other one wearing glasses with a handful of textbooks in her arms.  

The one with the guitar looked your way and stopped mid sentence.  Her eyes flicked towards Connor, but snapped back to you.  She smiled, albeit empty.  

“Uh, hi!  You’re Y/N?  I’m Zoe.” 

“And I’m Alana—I don’t recognize you, are you from around here?” Alana cut in, and you weren’t quite sure if you even caught all of it. 

“Um yeah, that’s me!  Just moved here a few months ago.  Nice to meet you.” 

Your discomfort grew tenfold.  You didn’t loved people pointing out the fact that you’re not from the area.  It made you feel like an outsider, and Connor knew that.  He opened his mouth, but then closed it.  He crossed his arms tight around his chest, trying to restrain whatever it was he wanted to say.  

At least he’s trying to be civil, right? 

“Sorry, the car’s kinda far back.  We got a late start this morning.” Zoe wouldn’t look at Connor, but the scowl on his face told you that was very much a passive aggressive dig. 

You shrugged, “It happens.” 

You began your trek to the back of the student lot, Connor trailing behind.  Alana bit her lip and looked between Connor and Zoe, and locked eyes with you. 

Okay okay okay, maybe she’s chill.  She understands how awkward this is. 

“So Y/N, you said you just moved here?  Where from?” 

The redirection of conversation was a godsend, even if it was at your expense.  “I moved from Y/HT.  My dad got a new job so here I am.” 

“I personally never moved, but I can totally imagine how hard it is.” 

That’s a stretch, but I appreciate the sentiment, I guess. 

“It’s was rough. sure.  But I’ve met some cool people that made it easier.” 

“I’m glad!  You’re a senior right?  Because you’re in AP with Connor?”

“How do you know that?” Zoe and Connor said in unison, and it was uncanny how they had equal levels of incredulousness in their voices.  Zoe was more so surprised while Connor grew defensive.  Oh no. 

Alana was less confident than she was before.  “...Um.  I’m an office aid… I helped organize the schedules and I saw Connor’s, and Zoe said Y/N is his partner for class earlier so I just figured...” 

You reached the Murphy’s car (a black SUV with a giant dent in the back bumper, and you really wanted to know the story behind that), and Zoe fumbled with the keys.  “No it’s okay Alana!  I just… didn't know Connor was in that class.” 

The car beeped, and you climbed into the back seat with Connor sitting on the other side.  The silence was deafening while Zoe threw her guitar in the trunk.  She climbed into the driver’s seat, the tension in Zoe’s body was tangible (even if you could only see the back of her head).  

Connor’s jaw was clenched and he refused to look anywhere except the back of the headrest in front of him.  Alana surprisingly chose this moment to stay quiet (as she should, she was at least that much aware of the situation).  You kind of wanted the world to swallow you right then and there. 

There was another beat of silence before she turned around to face Connor. 

“Sorry.  It’s cool that you’re in that class.  I didn’t know.” 

Connor blinked and looked down.  His the tension in his shoulders dissipated, if only slightly.  

“S’okay.” He paused, then spoke again.  “You wouldn’t have known, I didn’t show anyone my schedule.” 

Zoe released the breath she was holding and turned back around.  She backed out of the spot, and hesitated before speaking again.  “...Do you guys want some food?  Mom doesn’t keep anything good in the house.” 

“Sure.  I’ll buy.” Connor cut in before you were even able to think.  

“Wait no, it’s fine—!” 

Again, Connor interrupted Zoe, “You’re really questioning my generosity right now?” 

His tone was clipped, but there was no malice in his voice.  Zoe laughed, a mix between disbelief and slight relief.  “Right, I’ll shut up now.” 

“Oh if Connor’s buying, then I’m getting the most expensive thing on the menu.” You turned your head towards Connor with a wide, playful grin.  

“I will literally shove you out of the car.” 

Your smile grew wider, “Do it bitch, you won’t.” 

“Try me.” Connor lunged at you, causing you to shriek.  Zoe and Alana giggled at your expense, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t thrilled that this wasn’t a complete disaster. 

Baby steps right?  Maybe everything will be okay.

[writingonjorvik]

Can We Discuss Solutions To Star Coin Bloat?

So a while ago, I ran some analysis on your opinions on price of Star Coins, which is where my 70% of players think Star Coins are overpriced number comes from. Around this, there was a discussion on the Riders On Jorvik Discord around the new Andies being 950 SC/$30 USD, and some solutions to combated price bloat. Which is what I wanted to expand on today.

Ok, I want to start off by pointing out that $30 for a digital horse is a lot of money. You can buy model horses for waaaay cheaper than that, and in terms of video games, $30 is the standard price for high quality 30-40 hours games, like Rimwold and Slay the Spire. Pokemon Let’s Go Eevee and most Harvest Moon/Story of Seaons games are $30 at release, and most triple AAA games drop to $30 once their sequels come out. And in terms of MMOs, is roughly the price of expansions. So for SSO to charge $30 for one horse is outlandish and waaaay overpriced by industry standards. Most games will sell mount skins for $5-$10, max.

I want to go over the one excuse SSO keeps using in reference to this issue: they charge more for newer models/special features because more time went into them. Well I fucking hope it did! It’s SSO’s job to make a better game, which means spending more time making their product better. But that does not justify them adding an “improvement” tax on players because they’re taking a while to figure it out. That’s like if I charged extra on my next book because I became a better writer since I published the first, and not base my pricing on production and industry standards. It’s a bullshit excuse because improving the game is SSO’s job to begin with, and it’s not our responsibility to support that. It’s also incredibly dangerous because it causes extreme bloat, which we’ve seen. 

However, horses are SSO’s main and only real big skins and they don’t do expansions, so we can’t completely compare apples to apples here. So what are some SSO types of solutions we can apply?

1. Just Make It Cheaper

This is the easiest and most obvious. The prices for Star Coins should drop. It’s been proven over and over again that lower prices do better in sales. Dropping Star Coins so that $10 is 1000 SC will make horses more accessible and make it more likely people will make money sinks in the game. It costs SSO nothing to make Star Coins, so there’s really no reason not to outside of extorting players because they don’t know better.

2. Make More Horses At 500-600 Range

This goes back into that excuse I talked about earlier, but since the newer gens started coming out, SSO has continued to regularly price horses at 750+, mostly at 950 SC on account of the “special features” or “newer art style.” Again, bull reason, but it also creates a scenario of bloat. Whose to say that the next gen horses won’t be over a 1000 SC? What’s going to stop them? More horses need to be released again at the 500-600 range to prevent price bloat (and generally prevent going over 1000 SC).

3. Currency Conversion

Some MMOs do have higher prices on their pay currencies, but you know what they have to compensate? Conversion options. You can convert ingame currency into paid currency, which as a lot of benefits. It encourages people to play your game more and it also prevents those premium items feeling like a premium since you can work/play to get more. I honestly would prefer this system over the allowance, though I understand why it may not work for SSO since a lot of players will likely only be able to play on the weekends. I think 10,000 shillings to 100 Star Coins in fair though if they did this, since it’s roughly the equivalent already when comparing shilling prices to Star Coin prices on clothing.

4. More Content With Purchase

This one got a mix reaction in the Discord because I think a lot of people look at SSO as a single player game with other people running around and not an MMO. But as an MMO, I think this is fair, and with either the above or first suggestion, would be pretty fair. I think if they’re going to charge $30 for a horse, then you should get an expansion’s worth of content and not five days of busy work training. Things like mini quests that teach you about your horse’s special abilities (like the cold resist or special movements), or full on expansions. For example, you buy a Jorvik Wild Horse and unlock this side quest with a scientist where you get to learn more about the magic in Jorvik and what causes the transformations and work on tracking wild horses with a special collection daily that has you exploring the map. Or you buy a cold resist horse and unlock a quest with Nic about being able to travel in the cold easier and get extra dailies to help him speed up building his camp. The point is, if we’re going to be paying the same amount as a whole new game or expansion, we should get additional content as well. I know this irks completionists, but MMOs aren’t supposed to be completable, and, again, with one of the previous charges and/or the ability to pick up the quests on their own at a discount, this means the prices could stay roughly the same.

5. Expansion Discount

This is one of the ones suggested by the Discord that I wanted to expand on. The idea requires SSO to switch to an expansion based system. I think if SSO did switch to expansions, they’d need to do it for a whole quarter of the island (so like all of the current map is the same size as the next expansion), but considering SSO’s release style, I doubt that will go over well. But the idea is if you have an expansion (or we’ll say lifetime for the base game), then you get a discount on all Star Coin purchases in the area, which I think is pretty fair. I think for it to work, it means that major areas just need to be open, with smaller areas requiring expansions to unlock, otherwise there’s no point having a discount if you can’t buy the horse at full price. 

Like, as an example, let’s say the map we have now is an expansion area. Everyone gets access to some base quests in Silverglade, but in order to progress, you need to buy the expansion to unlock Harvest, Mistfall, Golden, etc. Or using north western Jorvik as an example, everyone can get the quests to explore Rockville and Sunnyville, but you need to buy the full expansion to reach Coyote’s Ranch, Herman Castle, or get into Pine Hill, at which point you’ll also get discounts on horses in the whole region.

6. Rotating Discounts

I think with horses already rotating in Fort Pinta, this would be a great way to make more horses accessible. Don’t drop the level caps, but horses will appear in Fort Pinta for a week as a significantly discounted price (like 500 SC discounted). The next week, a new horse shows up and gets the discount. They have to be at least gen 3 horses, but I think that’s a great rotating sale SSO could have to make more of their newer horses accessible and it’s a proven marketing tactic. Free estimate, 50% off your first meal, samples. Companies offer something for free or significantly discounted, and that encourages buyers to come back to buy again because they already got a really good deal. While I don’t think a punch card would work very well, I do think this rotating discount could help.

7. Increase Allowance For Lifetime

There’s not really an incentive to buy lifetime. I mean, you should, because you’ll save money in the long run, but as far as SSO’s listed incentives are concerned, there isn’t really one. Woah, you get some free clothes that don’t have any stats, big deal. But, what if lifetime got you 200 Star Coins in your weekly allowance? I think a lot more people would see that as an upgrade and it would cut down on bloat.

8. Log In Rewards

SSO doesn’t have login rewards. I think a great way to both cut down on bloat and encourage people to get on more is to having daily login rewards, where logging in for a month gets you a nice Star Coin bonus, like 500. It’s not enough to buy a horse in a month most of the time, but it’s a nice bump, and if you have membership, then you could definitely get one horse a month. Not to mention it gets players logging on every day!

I think, end of the day, there’s no clear cut solution to this, but there are loads of ways it can be changed so it’s not as abusive as it currently it. Patchworking a couple of these suggestions in could encourage players to get on more often instead of waiting until they’ve saved up enough Star Coins every two months for a new horse. Just, make the game accessible for kids. Most kids don’t get $30 to spend every month on their new horse game. Most adults aren’t willing to pay that either. Something needs to budge, and sooner or later, the players will realize they’re the frogs in the water on SSO’s price bloat.

[belugalord]

sarah’s spirit, part 1

I wake up in a bed. I see a woman sleeping next to me. I sit up and feel something cold pass through me. Hm. well. That’s unsettling. Must be a draft in here. I look closer at the woman lying next to me. I should remember her, right? Wait, come to think of it, what do I remember? Okay, let’s take stock. I'm Sarah. I know that. And I seem to remember how to think. That’s good, I'm not a fruit. 

I like the girl sleeping in my bed. That tracks. You usually don’t end up spending the night in the same bed as someone unless you like them a good deal. Or at least like how they look. But I like her a lot more than just that. I like her quite deeply. I don’t remember why, but I know I do. Getting up out of bed, I discover that I remember how to walk. Delightful. Very good. I get up and walk around the bed, to get a better look at the woman lying in it. She has beautiful blond hair, with little streaks of slightly darker colors mixed in. her face is soft and warm. I find myself wondering what color her eyes are when I notice something glinting from her finger. It seems to be a wedding ring. It doesn't seem very fancy, but it is quite beautiful. It has a small little sun on it. I look down at my own hands and find my right hand has a ring of its own, with a small moon carved into it. The two rings are clearly meant for each other.

So… are we married? Is that what this is? It would explain why she’s sleeping in the same bed I was. It does not explain why I remember very little.

Wait. She’s my wife, right? Why don't I just ask her? Wouldn't she know at least something? Well, it’s worth a shot anyway. Time to see if I remember how to talk.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” okay, I think I just talked. That doesn't seem to have been me thinking.

“5 more minutes,” she grumbles. Okay, that was talking. Good. also, she’s not a morning person it would seem.

“No, you have to wake up.” I look at the clock on the bedside table. “It’s almost noon, you sleepyhead.”

“Huhhmbjl… it’s the weekend Sarah, leme lone,” she mumbled incoherently.

“No, I’ve got to ask you something”

“Hehhe… you already proposed to me dummy” she starts laughing “and I said yes. Leme sleeeeeep”

“No, that wasn't the quest-” I'm cut off by her snoring. Wow, really not a morning person. Or I guess midday person. Should I make her breakfast? No, no, no. Priorities. Even though she looks really cute sleeping there. I guess I won't wake her for now. I'll just try to figure this out on my own for a bit. Give her five more minutes.

This room is familiar. I live here I think. It wasn't always where I lived. But I’ve lived here for a few months. Out that door is the kitchen, and over there is the bathroom. I look down at myself. I'm wearing a love is love t-shirt and some denim shorts. Huh. there is a picture of me and her on the dresser, her in a tux, me in a fancy sundress. Written in sharpie on the frame are the words “just engaged!” well, I knew that already. Still, it's nice to get some confirmation. Looking at our calendar, I don't see a wedding date though. So we probably got engaged recently. Our closet is filled with thrift store clothes. That’s a shame. I would’ve loved to be rich. I look at the clock again and see that my fiance’s five minutes are up.

“Hey sweetie, rise and shine! I'll help you make breakfast,” I say, in as soothing a voice as I can manage. Truth be told, I'm starting to freak out a little. Why can’t I remember anything?

“nuhuoOOOO” she grumbles. “Five more minutes!”

“I already gave you five more minutes!” I snap, the anxiety creeping through to my voice. She sits up with a start

“Hey hey, Sarah, I'm sorry! Is everything okay? Don’t be mad, I was just…” her voice trails off. “No no don’t cry! It’s okay, it’s okay. What's wrong?” she’s standing up now, and all of the tiredness she had before is replaced with worry.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just… I don’t remember anything? That sounds crazy but I just… I don’t even remember your name.” the tears are coming full force now. Why have I been so calm until now? This is terrifying!

“Your cold…” her voice is tight and controlled like she’s trying not to upset me. She hugs me really hard, and I can tell she’s freaking out too. “Lie down okay? We can call the doctor or-

“What’s your name?”

“Jackie. My name’s Jackie. Just lie down, I'll call a doctor and we can figure this out okay? There has to be something they can do, there must be.”

I sit down on the bed like Jackie asked, and I try to hold back tears. “What happened last night? Did I just get drunk or something?” I asked.

“Well as long as I’ve known you, you’ve never touched a drink. So probably not? You got up and said that you were going to get some milk from the store, but anything past that I must have slept through.”

She heads out to the kitchen and after a few minutes, she comes back in with some scrambled eggs and a cup of water. Jackie takes a deep breath, then says in a shaky voice, “so there wasn't any milk in the fridge. And the car isn’t in the driveway.”

“What? WHAT?” I feel short of breath, and the ground feels like it's spinning. “How did I get home?” I get shakily to my feet, my breath coming in spurts. Everything is crashing down on me. I don’t remember anything. Why can’t I remember anything?

“Calm down, there has to be a reason for this.” Jackie looks at me, and I can tell she’s trying really hard to not sound afraid. Hell, if she wasn't my fiance I would think she was fine. But even though I don’t remember much, I can tell she’s just acting calm. Still, it helps to see her acting okay.

“Okay. I guess. We should find our car. That might be good, right? I mean we need a car.” I'm calming down again. This probably isn't a permanent thing. And even if it is, fear won't help me. I pick up my fork and start eating. “Tell me things about me while I eat. Like, do I have a job? How old am I? How did we meet?”

“Okay… well, you're a writer right now. you've been looking for a more stable job, but right now that’s all you have. I work at the KFC a few blocks down. you're turning 23 in a few weeks. wait, was the last question?”

“How did we meet?” I say through a mouthful of eggs.

“Oh! We’ve known each other for a long time. We both grew up in this town, had a few classes together, but never really got to know each other until junior year of high school.”

“What happened then? And can I get some more eggs?” I say. I'm very hungry. Must have not got any food when I went for a drive last night. Oh god. I still don’t know what happened last night. I push down my fear. Fear won't help me now. 

“Okay, I'll  get ya some more food.” She wanders off toward the kitchen, and I'm left alone with my thoughts.

Okay… plan. yeah, that would be nice. a plan. what first? Probably find the car. then drive to a doctor. I can't be the only person who's gone through this.

"Hey baby, come on out. We can watch some Brooklyn 9-9"

seems like Jackie is addressing the emotional problems first. but that's okay. I need to destress. Honestly, I'm barely holding it together.

"He was last seen at-" is all the local news anchor has time to say before Jackie switches over to Netflix.

"Should we start from episode one?" Jackie looks at me, making the question as innocuous as she can, and gesturing for me to sit next to me.

"No, I'll figure out what's going on." I slide my arm around Jackie.

                       *                                *                                  *

After a few episodes there's a knocking on the door. Jackie gets up and unlocks the door. on the other side, I see a short, round figure with a serious look on her face.

"Oh jackie, child, I'm so sorry. This must be so hard for you," she says. her chin quivers a moment before her calm expression gives way yo almost comical amounts of tears. 

"Woah susan! deep breaths, try to tell me what's going on." Jackie says, putting a hand on Susan’s shoulder. Jackie shoots a quick look my way, as if hoping I somehow know what’s happening, but I shrug. Unless this Susan lady knows about my memory problem, then i have no clue what she’s talking about. 

After a few moments of sobbing, she manages to pull herself together long enough to say “So you don't know? Sarah’s dead!”