#mistress au

[sea-owl]

Ya'll can blame my best friend for this. I wasn't even gonna originally post this, I just wanted to practice writing smut. He's a bad influence.

Warning: Church smut

AO3: Link

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Colin tore open the letter.

"Oh my god," Colin said, falling into the pew. "Oh my god."

Damn! Damn, damn, damn, damn! Penelope's mind raced. Colin knew she was Lady Whistledown now, the secret she has safely guarded from the families of the ton since her debut.

What was she to do? What was she to do? She couldn't count on him being quiet, couldn't rely on their friendship. He had just proven she couldn't when she begged him not to read her private correspondence and he tore it open anyway. For what reason Penelope couldn't fathom.

This is a completely different Colin than the one who was kind enough to allow her to kiss him-

Penelope's thoughts drifted back to something Gen once told her.

There is little that a man won't do if it earns him the pleasure of a woman's body.

Well Colin seemed at least somewhat attracted to her body if how tight he held her during their kiss in the drawing room said anything. She's also doomed to be a spinster according the whispers of others, so there's no one keeping track of what she does like they do the young debutantes. At the very least she could try it to get her letter back.

Taking advantage of his already seated position Penelope came closer. Her hands reached out to cradle his face while her thumbs the traced along his cheekbones.

"Penelope-!"

Penelope crashed her lips onto Colin's.

Colin was stiff underneath her.

Please work, please work. Penelope never needed such a crazy plan to work like this one now.

Colin's hands, which were by his side, found their way to her hips. Then it was as if Penelope had awoken a beast, she found herself being yanked forward on his lap, her legs on either side of his hips.

Colin's tongue licked at her lips. Penelope granted him access and Colin wasted no time in exploring her mouth. His tongue pursuing her own. Penelope's hands went from cradling his face to running through his hair. Colin's hands traveled as well, one seemed to pull up her skirts, while the other tried to pull down her bodice.

"Colin," Penelope gasped, breaking the kiss. She rose up on her knees to help assist him in his mission to bunch up her skirts.

At the lose of her lips Colin started tracing the curve of her neck with open mouth kisses. Nipping and sucking at her pulse point.

"Penelope," Colin moaned. "Oh Penelope."

"Colin," Penelope moaned.

Penelope glanced down; her letter now laid forgotten about a foot away. She could grab it now and run; he would have no proof she was Lady Whistledown without that letter. But . . . Penelope found she did not want to leave her current position. She may be committing a sin at this very moment, but she found it felt too good stop. Besides, there was a confession box somewhere in the church if she felt the need to ask for forgiveness later.

Penelope was taken out of her thoughts when Colin pulled her hips back down. This time her skirts were no longer in the way as her sex rubbed against Colin's freed erection. Penelope wrapped her arms around his neck for support.

"Oh!" Penelope moaned. "Oh god!" She began to rock her hips against his, creating that delicious friction that had both of them moaning.

Colin brought Penelope's hips back up only bring them back down. This time slowly entering her until their hips met. Penelope has never felt this full before, this was not like when she used her hand in the past. Using the hands on her hips Colin guided Penelope in a movement that had them both moaning.

"Oh god," Colin growled, his voice vibrating against her throat. "You're so wet. You feel like heaven."

Colin's mouth had left her neck and now sucked on her breasts that he had freed from her bodice. Licking and nipping until her nipples were hard. Sucking marks on each one.

Colin's hips rose, meeting Penelope's and somehow sinking even deeper into her. He found that one spot that was guaranteed to make Penelope scream.

Penelope's moans grew louder and louder. No doubt both heaven and hell alike could hear her.

"Penelope, Penelope," Colin whispered her name like a prayer.

The pressure inside of her kept building up and up. When Penelope felt like she couldn't take it anymore she fell over the edge into ecstasy. She could feel herself clench around him right before he himself came inside her.

She'll have to talk to Gen about getting some of those special herbs, and where to find a supplier if her plan moves forward.

Colin rested against the pew, catching his breathe. He stared up at her with a blissful smile on his face. Using the momentary rest Penelope pulled up her bodice and rose on her knees, that wonderful feeling of fullness disappearing. She leaned closer to whisper in Colin's ear. "I have an offer for you."

Before Colin could say anything, Penelope hopped off his lap, snatched her letter, and ran for the door.

"Penelope!"

Her hack was gone, but that was okay, she was going to tell him to leave anyway. Colin's carriage, the one she was looking for instead, was still in front of the church. Perfect.

Penelope climbed inside, folding her letter and stuffing it into her bodice. Colin came scrambling in after her not long after. Still closing the door Colin knocked on the roof signaling the driver to go.

Once they were moving Penelope began speaking before she could lose her nerves.

"I have an offer for you."

Colin narrowed his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but Penelope continued on. She knew if she allowed him to say anything before her she would not be able to bring herself to say it.

"Keep my identity as Lady Whisteldown a secret, and I will be your mistress."

Please take the offer, please take it.

Penelope stuck out her hand. "Do we have a deal?"

Colin only stared at her. His eyes taking in her form like it's the first time he's ever seen her. After what felt like an eternity he took her hand, only to pull her in his lap once more.

"Deal," Colin said, sealing his lips over her's.

[thespeedywagon98]

Some quick Mistress Smoothie sketches because I like her a lot. I imagine she’d still have Shake’s voice but with more of a lisp and it’s higher in pitch.

She doesn’t like being compared to Shake, her twin, even though they share the same personality, and thinks she’s better then him because she worked a job for about 3 weeks. She was fired for being horrible to the customers but acts like she did absolutely nothing wrong when Nuggetring and Patty, pretty much just Frylock and Meatwad, bring it up.

[sadlynotthevoid]

Crack idea here: LCF modern AU with magic where og!Cale accidentally gains a swordmaster aura after way too many hours of playing beat saber.

Cale: *intensely playing the same game for 74th time this (new) year*

Cale's body: *starts exuding glowing mist*

Cale:

Hans, who just opened the door: Excuse me, young mas— Hhh...

Hans: Madam Violan!!!

[non-newtonian-id]

more eternally 12 shen yuan au by @rarepears fanart

gongyi xiao and xiao gongzhu chibis inspired by notes on the first post from @achromaticbibliophile :33

i actually did the marker versions of these last week while I was camping but i didn’t have signal so i couldn’t post them ૮ TㅅT ა

they’re here now thooo bc i’m currently never not thinking abt this au it’s so silly

[paepaerest]

"life on the inside ain't what it used to be... Well it's a drag I know, there's only one place to go, baby back where I come from, I'm comin' home!"

i still love superjail with the bottom of my heart but i cannot for the love of god create awesome fanart so this is all u get

very unfinished doodles of the misfits au by @violetsees & @cattowersjails

[yuwuta]

gojo assistant to gojo househusband is EVERYTHING to me he’d be so good at it. packing up bentos before work, visiting u for a lunch break, visiting u for a shoulder and neck massage. hes just so cute. i bet that even when he gets to a househusband role he’d still do some assistant duties and he absolutely is against u getting another assistant bc he’s been that guy and he knows u are too easily fallen in love with. he’d probably only give up that role to someone that he trusts 100% and knows that won’t fall in love with you like yuuta and even then he probs gets a tiny bit irrationally jealous when yuuta knows a lot about your schedule and habits bc that’s HIS job but a lil smooch from u will have him too flustered to even remember what initially ticked him off

when he finally makes it out of the work husband territory, he’s already wildly insufferable as a boyfriend. but when he finally becomes your husband? all bets are off—if people thought satoru couldn’t be louder or prouder of you they were so, so very wrong. he was born for this. 

sends you off with a bento and a kiss every single morning, and then calls you right before lunch time to remind you to actually take your lunch break and eat—and maybe because he wants compliments on the food he made you. when he can’t send you off with lunch, he has yuuta deliver it for you, or he drops it off himself, which is always a welcome surprise, not just for you, but everybody in the office. it’s nice that he’s remembered so fondly, and some days he does miss it, but he wouldn’t trade in being your husband for the world. 

so true about yuuta being his replacement—satoru was very, very thorough in the vetting process of hiring your new secretary. he knows how easy it is to fall in love you, he knows what it’s like to be the work husband and he refuses to hire anybody else who might think even slightly like him. so, call it nepotism or call it favoritism, but yuuta is one of maybe three people satoru actually trusts with the job. turns out yuuta is best suited for it anyway, which brings satoru even more relief. on the days he really misses you, it makes him pout when you recount all the times yuuta saved your ass, but a kiss or two really is he needs to be brought back to reality. 

he’s always calling or texting you with paint samples or fabric samples, and you’ve learned to not try and make sense of satoru’s interior design priorities. you really don’t think that the guest bathroom needs new wallpaper, but he does and if he wants to install it, who are you to stop him. so many days you come home from work and he’s like, “oh, babe, my mom called in a friend of a friend and turns out her husband can make us our own version of that vintage couch you saw in the museum display last week,” which is. absolutely insane because that’s easily a $25,000 couch, but he just waves you off about it and asks you what color you want it in—he’ll handle everything else. 

[spotsupstuff]

even more ocs except this time they are only joke (crows 'n pan) or bg characters. i'll prolly do quick designs for the rest of the Children of Eo group at some point too tbh 🤔

[redtippedfox]

RUN

[blondeaxolotl]

Cute Grellthello moments in the red butler au :3

A demon, and "her friend" as they referred themselves to her

You're a demon, so why are you reacting like this over a human?

[libby-for-life]

Inspired by @talesfromawannabejournalist, who's more than welcome to join in and turn this into a Role Play.

Lucifer let out a weary sigh as he slouched in his chair, surrounded by a mountain of paperwork. As the ruler of Hell, he was burdened with endless administrative tasks, particularly because he governed over a horde of sinful souls who were constantly attempting to exploit loopholes in his decrees. A low, menacing growl rumbled in his chest as he contemplated the audacity of certain Overlords who had grown increasingly bold in their defiance of his authority.

He found some solace in being the ruler of Hell, knowing that it afforded him the ability to provide his daughter, Charlotte, with anything her heart desired. The thought of his cherished five-year-old daughter brought a rare smile to his face. Amidst the darkness and suffering of his domain, she was the sole source of light and joy. The only one who could get him to feel something other than hate.

Not even her mother could do that.

Lilith Morningstar was a remarkable figure. Not only was she considered the First Woman, but she also held a special place in his heart when she was first created. It's possible that he truly loved her for a while. However, it became evident that she had evolved into someone quite different from the woman he initially fell in love with.

They remained in a relationship for the sake of appearances; Lucifer believed he was in love with Lilith and didn't want to face ridicule for divorcing after going through so much to be together in the first place. Ending their marriage would have felt like admitting defeat, so despite Lilith having multiple lovers, they chose to stay together to avoid gossip and judgment.

He let out another heavy sigh, his eyes lingering on the ornate clock hanging on the wall. Extermination Day was looming on the horizon. It was a day designed to prevent the forces of Hell from ever mounting a challenge against Heaven. Once a year, angelic beings descended to eradicate the Sinners. Lucifer couldn't help but feel a sense of indifference towards the fate of the Sinners. He resented Heaven's interference in his affairs, yet begrudgingly accepted it and turned a blind eye.

As he strolled to the balcony, a sense of anticipation welled up inside him. He knew that before long, the familiar portal would open, allowing the angels to enter his kingdom. His brother had assumed the role of the leader of the Exorcists for quite a while now, and every time he beheld the leader in all his majestic splendor, Lucifer couldn't help but feel a surge of resentment. Despite the physical distance between them, his status as the Devil endowed him with formidable power, enabling him to perform feats that surpassed the capabilities of ordinary demons and humans. For instance, his ability to perceive events transpiring over vast distances was a testament to his extraordinary prowess.

As he gazed at the figure adorning the majestic armor that belonged to Michael, he couldn't help but notice the subtle yet distinct differences in appearance. The way the light reflected off the intricately crafted armor only served to emphasize the fact that this new angel was unlike any he had encountered before. With a sense of intrigue and suspicion creeping into his thoughts, he carefully concealed himself within the shadows and silently took flight from his balcony, determined to closely observe and scrutinize this enigmatic new leader.

This one was beyond different and when he took off his helmet, most likely to get some fresh air on his face, Lucifer's eyes widened. No, it couldn't be. But he would never forget that face. Not even in the millennia that has passed. The new leader of the Exorcists was none other than Adam, the First Man.

And Adam looked so different than when he was in Eden. Lucifer couldn't help but tilt his head in wonder as he gazed at Adam’s beauty. He looked like he had gotten softer, especially in the thigh, stomach, and ass department making Lucifer hum in approval. He certainly looked like a snack...

As he stood there at that moment, he couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of possessiveness and greed that consumed him as it took over. The thought of Adam crossed his mind - what would it be like to be with the First Man of creation? He couldn't help but ponder the idea that no one could truly understand and appreciate Adam the way Lucifer had in Eden, and certainly not in the present moment.

So, without giving a chance for Adam to fly away, he flew out and pinned Adam to the floor of some alleyway. "What?! Let go!" Adam yelled as Lucifer materialized a strong rope to tie Adam's wrist together. "No!" He yelled when his ankles joined him. Lucifer hummed and whispered into Adam's ear. "Hello, Adam. It's been a while."

The angel lied frozen, a flicker of recognition crossing his face as the voice of Lucifer reached his ears. A sense of triumph filled the demon as he watched the angel's reaction. Why wouldn't Adam remember him? Perhaps he still harbored resentment over the incident when he had run away with Adam's wife, but deep down, Adam would always carry memories of their time together before Lilith had even come into existence.

"No...no, not you." Lucifer chuckled in amusement. "Yes. Me." He picked Adam up but not before gagging him. He didn't need to be noisy. He was well aware that Michael would try to make Lucifer give back Adam but they wouldn't dare do it themselves. Not after Lucifer makes a deal to never get involved with Extermination Day or the angels involved with it.

He threw Adam onto his bed and watched as he struggled, glaring at him. He really was cute to be doing that. Lucifer was much more powerful than he was, and if he so desired, then he could destroy him. Adam was lucky that Lucifer was content to just admire.

"Oh, Adam. It really has been a while!" Lucifer said with a smirk, watching as he heaved. Now, all he had to do was wait for his brother to call him so they could negotiate. But, while they were waiting, Lucifer could always see what was under all that armor...

[nikysavi]

I'm creating post-Termite ending AU, where 10 years have passed, so here's some designs - Capella and Clara

[gojoest]

lowkey had a very scandalous idea earlier this week, still very undeveloped though

[dailydegurechaff]

Today's Daily Degurechaff is... Regular Tanya is on vacation day 5 - Nobility AU

[hetagrammy]

Madonna Máire and her eldest three illicit holy children reading a letter from their papal father circa 1498

[quequeishere]

shen mei wakes up as a Huan Hua Palace disciple! missions: finding her brother! return back to their world together! seduce the head disciple and little palace mistre- wait what

[fromtheseventhhell]

High-key want Arya and Varys to cross paths again at some point, like I need Varys to know that he was spied on by a 9-year-old Arya and that his plans could've potentially been foiled by her