#missed an event at work today

[packitandgo]

gets stressed

lies down about it

[disfrutalaisla]

I feel like we brushed right over cucurucho saying that ANOTHER person was going to be sent to replace Forever in his nether mission since he’s gone missing

[fantasykiri5]

Day 6 of @hermitadaymay and it’s the one and only Sans Undertale!!

[22plus15]

had to get ready and leave in 40 minutes this morning but i still opened instagram the second i opened my eyes just to make sure it wasn’t a dream 😭

[ninja-yogurt]

Thinking about how as a kid I was pretty convinced my cat was kind of apathetic to me because I would pick him up and drag him to my room when I wanted to cuddle with him and he didn't approach me on his own very often, especially compared to his brother who would happily demand attention from anyone and everyone. And how my brother and I got little rubber mice one Halloween and I lost mine and was devastated and kind of bratty about it, and went to cry on the floor of my room for reasons I don't really remember. And my cat, who never approached me in his own, comes up to me with the mouse in his little mouth and drops it next to me.

And I don't think he understood why I was upset but the fact that he saw me upset and decided to bring me something to cheer me up, and came up to me of his own volition, I was convinced for the rest of his life that he was one of the most emotionally intelligent cats I'd ever met, and that he loved me more than anyone else in the world. I swear nearly every expression of love he had was something he picked up from me. He loved being picked up like the person petting him was too impatient to wait for him to approach them. For years he'd come running at the sound of my fingers rubbing together in an attempt at a snap, but when I figured out how to actually snap he ignored it. I wasn't very good at petting gently, and his favorite thing was when somebody used all their strength to push against his head while they pet him. I read a book on cat communication when he was still a kitten and spent an evening headbutting him because it said that's how they say hello and communicate affection, and I don't remember him headbutting everything and everyone in sight before that but he sure did enjoy it afterwards.

When I came home from college he would frequently be standoffish towards me until I, allergic to him, would sneeze for the first time, and then he would demand attention like it took that to be sure I was who I said I was. He would get cuddlier when I sneezed, probably because I would frequently turn to him after and say in a sweet, fond voice, "yes! This is all your fault, yes!" Sometimes he'd make eye contact with me before he sneezed. I think he thought the sneezing itself was affection. Once when I came home I cuddled with him until he was half asleep on my lap and at 1 am I started trying to move him without waking him up, or annoy him into moving himself, because I didn't have the heart to just abandon him but I needed to go to bed. He must have been more awake than I thought because when I fully lifted up one leg so it was next to him instead of under him he just readjusted on the other one, and then did the same with the other leg. It was pretty impressive for a cat who once accidentally rolled off a couch because I was standing across the room and he got too excited about trying to convince me to approach him that he forgot where the edge was.

I took so many pictures of him and asked my family to take and send so many pictures and videos and video chats with him that he also got excited by smartphones, because a camera pointed at him meant he got extra attention. It was so hard to get good pictures of him; if he noticed the camera he got very wiggly.

He had a fang taken out when he was starting to get older, because it was infected, and he figured out how to eat without it but he never quite figured out how to close his mouth consistently. He's always had a remarkably expressive face; i swear he used to smile when he was happy and I never needed to see the rest of his body to tell when he'd been startled. But for a cat who frequently looked confused before, sometimes having one lip snagged inside his mouth really improved the look. My mom started saying he had an Elvis face now.

Losing the tooth did not stop him from stealing a piece of toasted turkey ham from a plate on the table once. I was walking back from the kitchen, trying to help my dad prepare breakfast, and as I approached he decided the best thing to do when caught red handed with a piece of meat about a full quarter of your size is to sprint off with it, which might have worked better if it wasn't a quarter of his size and he didn't have a missing tooth. He made it most of the way across the room with it hanging from his mouth, somehow swinging slightly and dragging on the floor at the same time, before he gave it up. I wish I'd gotten it on camera, because I was the only one who saw the whole thing.

He stopped meowing as much and couldn't really purr by the end. What he'd do instead of meowing was squeak like a rusty wheel if he wanted food and wail like he was dying if he wanted attention and nobody was in the room with him. Occasionally he'd go into my parents' room when there were people around and wail because nobody was in his extra special cuddle spot. For about fourteen years of his life the only time I heard that meow was when he had bladder crystals and had to be rushed to the vet, and when he got stuck once hanging from one of those scratching posts that could hang from a doorknob, flipped his head back so it was upside down in relation to the ground and he was staring at me, and gave one of the saddest meows I've ever heard in my life. (Unfortunately for him it took me a few seconds to stop laughing my head off to actually come help, but he was fine). I came home when he was older and suddenly he'd realized that that wail meant immediate attention, and why not abuse it in exchange for more cuddles.

I miss him a lot. It was my first birthday without him this past week. Last year my favorite present was handmade by my brother, and when it arrived I got extra pictures of it before it was shipped out lying on top of him (cat, not brother). I dreamt about him a lot, for a while, but I haven't since a dream where I spent a bunch of time cuddling with him and he purred like a motorboat. I like to think it was him telling me he'll be ok, even if I don't dream about him again for a while.

[seedlessmuffins]

ney didn’t post his usual « allez psg » story today which means he only watched the games for leo and now that leo’s gone he won’t watch

[cinewhore]

Stumbling out of my emails today

[supercantaloupe]

technically the contract for my new internship (signed & submitted, but i haven't actually started yet or turned in my payment info or anything) states that i'm supposed to start on monday. so strictly speaking i haven't lost hours on the job due to being sick this week, i guess. but in communication it was agreed that i would start this past monday for a lighter possibly part-time week of mostly onboarding and getting-to-know-the-office type work. which obviously i've missed due to hacking my lungs out in my house for the past eight days...it's not the end of the world for me to start next week, my boss is totally fine with it and wants me to be okay before starting, and it's not like i will have missed anything terribly important like a performance or something. and missing one week's worth of a paycheck is not going to ruin me financially, thankfully. but still, y'know, disappointed to have lost a week of productivity, especially in such a lucrative (job experience wise not necessarily money wise. but the money isn't terrible either.) internship i'm super lucky to have gotten in the first place. very much looking forward to finally starting on monday and putting this shit behind me

[chi-arts]

I only found out about Chuuya-week on the weekend and I'm devastated that I didn't know earlier q.q

I'll still try to get at least one or two sketches done, I love him and I want to do something. But I simply don't have the time for more than that and that sucks

[garoujo]

omg i got an interview for a new job i applied for!!! eeeeeee i am nervous but also excited ૮꒰っ´༥`ς꒱

[0wnw1sn]

hey guys just watched la la land i’m gonna do something really impulsive

[bio--exorcist]

"I've seen The Exorcist 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it!"

(He/him)

[mikesbasementbeets]

bought tickets to see live music for first time in about two years life is ok again maybe

[deus-ex-mona]

aw yeeeeeee all ft4 5☆s get!!!!!!!!!

[frecht]

kind of annoyed at my friend :/

[awkward-smirks]

tw for this diary entry: v brief mentions of suicide and maybe some depressive thoughts ??? idk

(don't comment on this post please)