#miss piggy isn’t monster pig
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the-mystical-aquatic-gay · 1 year ago
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i like to think that in the tma universe, jim henson was actually an avatar of the stranger who just really wanted to make tv
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xruiningth3sh0wx · 2 months ago
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Does it make you feel
Like a man? To know by your
Hands, a disadvantaged
Creature dies? Does it
Make you hard, you fucking
Scumbag, that you got to show
This miracle of creation how much,
By you, it is despised? I bet you
Were aroused as you stared coldly
Into its frightened eyes.
 
Walk among us, you get to, without
Any consequence. Taking you out with
Shotgun justice, that would be deemed
Terroristic dissidence. But fuck it,
If that’s what it takes, then it is
You that’ll be slain. Day by day, your
Numbers will drop; their deaths shall not
Have been in vain. Upon those racks you’ll be
Placed, and you’ll get your own
Doses of pain. Let’s see how you will
Like to have been driven completely insane.
 
Grab you by your legs,
I’d like to do. Slam you into
Pavement over and over again
Until you’re black, dead, and blue.
You’re one of the dregs,
And hope someone
Someday fucking kills you. Psychopathic
Monster, I hope your contaminated
Innards are twisted and construed.
 
No love in your heart,
Just possessed by only hate.
 
Boy, oh boy, I bet, to you,
It feels so fucking great.
 
Do you think of doing
The same to your
Wife and kids? Nay, I don’t
Imagine you think
Of doing it, but actually
Act, bashing them against the
Hard surface when you’re pissed.
 
Pray and hope, I do, that no one
Would ever wish to mate with a
Machine such as yourself. May chains
Bound you ever so tightly as armies
Of wicked things drag you off
Right into Hell. Where you must
Abandon and all hope, and every time
You die, once again, you must
Face the goddamn rope.
 
Can you feel?
 
Not a chance; I hope your skin
Is slowly peeled.
 
And it still wouldn’t be enough
For all the babies’ lives you steal.
 
The families you butcher and maim,
Because to you, it’s just a sick, demented game.
 
Once you started, your feat was forever sealed.
 
Violently stop their beating hearts,
And let the beatings start.
 
Dig into their chest, tear open their
Ribcage, and make sure they’re torn apart.
 
“There is a practice in the meat industry. PAC, it is called. Which stands for…pound against concrete. You may ask yourself, with uncertainty and terror welling up in your heart: what does “pound against concrete” entail, exactly? To pound against concrete means to take a pig that isn’t viable for consumption by the masses (the fucking masses…), typically a baby, a piglet…grab it by its hind legs, like some kind of metal chain, and whack it against the cold, hard ground repeatedly. Over and over. Until it is dead.
 
Now, I don’t know about you…but these don’t sound like beings that are alive, to me. Nay, these sound like what I’ve once referred to as…dead flesh walking. “Dead flesh walking” are those bastards who have no soul. Their blood is just liquid ice in their veins, and their hearts do not beat. Matter of a fact, if you were to cut them open (which you absolutely should…), they might not even possess a heart. Famous examples include Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Kemper, Gary Ridgeway, Richard Ramirez, John Wayne Gacy, and many others. What did they all have in common? A distinct knack for the bludgeoning, burning, dissection, beating, torturing, psychologically tormenting, and general murdering…of animals. Of course, those who practice the sadistic art of pounding little piggies against concrete are not regarded as serial killers, or, at least, adjacent to them. Why’s that? Because it serves an economic function. It feeds the ever-gluttonous population of human scum that has overfilled planet Earth. It’s useful, it’s utilitarian. I bet many consider them heroes. Probably revered in their local communities.
 
I bet they get off on it. I bet it makes them absolutely tickled, these pieces of shit. I bet they can’t wait to tell their fucking family and friends. Hell, I bet it isn’t just pigs they do it to. Why do you think they get so good at it? It starts with critters…and then next thing you know, kids go missing. Entrails drag out, with the evidence of unspeakable acts having been committed against them.
 
A part of me…a large part of me…would like to, in the name of those poor bovids, get some revenge. Place their teeth against the nearest street curb. Like that infamous scene in the movie American History X, where Derek Vineyard loses his shit, shortly before going to prison. Pound their skulls against concrete with the heel of my boot.
 
The law has always protected those who least deserve it.
 
So, I’ll end this with a quote from an Irish playwright I greatly admire…
 
“Whilst we, the conventional…were wasting our time on education, agitation, and organization, some independent genius has taken the matter in hand…”
 
Pure terror.
 
All they know, and all they understand.
 
Why not give them something in return?”
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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago
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Survey #444
“the monster you made is wearing the crown  /  i’ll be the king, and you’ll be the clown”
Do you take off from school, or work for your birthday? Ha, I used to try to talk Mom into letting me stay home from school... It only sometimes worked. Have you ever created ‘open when’ letters for someone? No. That'd be cute for an s/o, though. What is the best thing about being in the relationship you’re in right now or about being single? Not having to fear my partner leaving because of the struggles I'm going through. Not having to worry about not being enough for another person, because I'm not even enough for myself. Do you have a favourite painting? Not by a historical artist, no, but there is a piece by a deviantART artist called "Denialism" (by NukeRooster/Tatchit, if you're interested) that I adore so much I've actually gotten her permission to get it tattooed one day when I can afford a brilliant artist to do it. What are some of the best life hacks you know? /shrug What makes you smile without fail? MARK LAUGHING laj;sdkafjwlk;erj Do you know what you’ll be getting your loved ones for the holidays this winter? No clue. That's still a whiles off. What is your biggest short-term goal (within the next month)? Just lose a decent amount of weight for a month's time. What will your next tattoo be of? It depends on what cash I have available, really. As much as it sucks, I think my next tat is a whiles off because I just have more pressing things to pay for. Has anyone very close to you ever died? Besides pets, the closest human to me that's ever died was Jason's mom. If you were throwing your significant other/best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? Uh, Frieza-related, obviously. Do you feel prepared for the apocalypse? I don't believe in the apocalypse in the biblical sense of it being determined by an ultimate power, so this isn't something I really think about. Whenever humanity ends, it ends. I don't have a say, so I may as well not obsess over it. Do you think you will have children naturally, adopt, or forgo having children altogether? I'm not having kids, but if I did, I know that either I'd have to give birth to them or my hypothetical wife would for me to feel *properly* connected to them as a mother should. Oh, or if my male partner had a kid from a previous relationship, but I'd have to be REALLY in love with him to feel like that child is also my own. Do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? Oh god no. Do you believe in angels? No, but rather just spirits. Is there anything in your past that you used to regret, but now you don’t? Hm, maybe? Does your knee hurt? My knees always hurt. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Yes. Do you like raisins? omg nooooo What is your favorite bug? Butterflies! :') Do you like Scrabble? Sure, it's fun for a board game. Do you have a printer? Yes. What is your favorite food? Cheeseburgers or pizza, probably. I know, so American. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? Yes. Do you like ants? They are very fascinating when you really think about it, but I still find them incredibly annoying. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. Have you ever drank goat milk? No, I don't believe so. What’s your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Do you like cats? I love kitties!!! :') Are goldfish your favorite fish? No. I think my favorite is probably the lionfish. Do you like vanilla pudding? No. I only like chocolate pudding. What is your opinion on gay marriage? I 100% support it and would fight to the death for it. What is your opinion on gay adoption? Don't even fucking look at me if you see a problem with a parentless child finding a home with two people in love. Who was the last person you had a crush on? Sara. What’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own? I have zero clue. Why do you drive the car you have right now? I don't have my own car. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Omg yes and it sucks. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. What is your current desktop picture? One of my favorite pictures of my late pup, Teddy. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains! Does your neighbor have any pets? *shrug* Have you ever swam in a mountain lake? No, but that sounds VIBIN'. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed? alksdjflk;a;jdfalwe yes Have you ever had a concussion? One or two. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Not currently, I think? I want a fat-tailed gecko, though. :( Would you ever go bear hunting? I wouldn't dare hunt ANY animal. Have you ever seen two movies at the theater in a row? I have not. How many teenagers do you know who have babies? I know no teen personally that has a child, but there were some pregnant students in high school. If you could keep your parents or trade them for other parents, which would you pick? I would NEVER change my parents. Is there a piggy bank in the room you’re in? It's not a "piggy" bank, per se, but my sister got me a skull one that she says is for my tattoo funds. :') How many sets of twins do you know? Two, off the very top of my head. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? Yes. No one fucks with her for as long as I live. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not especially. Who is your favorite Disney Channel person? Uhhh, maybe Raven Symone? How many pets do you have? Just two. Do you think you will be successful in life? No. :/ What do you have pierced? My earlobes, twice, and my bottom lip. I have been dyinnnnggg for some new ones lately. :/ Does techno annoy you as much as it annoys me? No, I actually enjoy quite a bit of techno. What’s your comfort food? Ice cream. Do you like paranormal stuff? YES. Do you have a favorite stuffed toy? Rebel, my adorable meerkat plush from Jason, and Brownie, my moose from Cabela's. What’s the most exciting project you were given? In a way, my senior project since you got to choose your own topic, but I dreaded the presentation. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not at ALL. What are your favorite colour for a cat? Orange! If you had to live your life carrying a shield, what would its design be? This is gonna sound super, super cheesy, but probably a heart to symbolize how love should and could block the effects of hate and general evil and that we should pursue that instead of violence. Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Oh god, they all do. If I had to pick one though, it'd be one of the inevitably fatal kinds, like pancreatic. What are your general afterthoughts when you’ve finished a book? I feel accomplished for actually reading to a story's completion. How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned? Two, I think? What color is your flash-drive? Hot pink. Have you ever built a sand castle? Yeah. How many houses have you lived in? Six. One I have no memory of. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes. What video game should everybody play at least once? Amnesia: A Machine for PIgs for the symbolism. It blows my mind how most horror fans hate it; it's like they totally miss the point. 100 years from now, what modern things will people look back on and say, “WTF?” Hopefully things like homophobia, racism, misogyny, concepts like those. What is impossible to understand until it happens to you? Mental illness, to name only one thing. What fictional food item from a television show, cartoon, movie, or video game have you always wanted to try? Hm. There's a lot that has looked super good, really. What’s something that gets much more hate than it deserves? Nickelback, lmao. What phrases or sayings drive you crazy? "Everything happens for a reason," "it could be worse/some people have it worse," "it's all part of God's plan," "just think positive"... a lot of stuff. Do you have a deviantART? I do, even though Eclipse made it fucking suck. I only really stay because I cling to the dying hope of being at least somewhat successful on there, and I enjoy keeping tabs on the artwork of the hundreds of people I watch there. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa, even if he doesn't last long in the movie. :''''''( Have you ever been to Germany? No, but I'd love to! What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. Have you ever been ice skating? No. The blades on the skates scare me. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Do you have any nieces or nephews? I have a lot, if you include my half-siblings' kids. Do you own an Xbox? Nah, I've always been a PlayStation gal. Would you date someone who’s well-known for cheating? Nope. Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? No. I'd consider their reasons, but ultimately, it's about me loving the person. Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yeah, sure. It's not ideal, but I mean if the other person is just very opposed, I'm certainly not forcing them. Emotional intimacy is more important to me, anyway. Have you ever been “friendzoned”? Yep. :') Briefly, anyway. Jason tried for my sake, but it was VERY short-lived by no one's fault but my own because all I know how to do is fuck shit up when it comes to him. Which “famous couple” is your favorite? LOOK Mark and Amy are FUCKIN GEMS Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? Pretty fucking much. Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? I'm submissive by nature. Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? No, I think it's a cute holiday. Which do you feel is worse of the two to smoke: weed or tobacco? Well, weed has more carcinogens, but at least it has actual health benefits. Who did you last see that you haven’t seen in ages? *shrug* Are you photogenic at all? God no.
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solarsyrup · 6 years ago
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Well people sure enjoyed that Bokoblin post, so by popular demand here’s a ranking of the Moblins in the Zelda games
The Legend of Zelda (NES)
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A good start! Very round. They’re a nice balance between “monster that would definitely eat you” and “schoolyard bully”
7/10
The Adventure of Link
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WHYYYYY OH GOD WHY. Just LOOK at this thing. The round nose. That creepy stance. The weirdly large butt. This thing looks like someone accidentally enrolled a holiday ham in clown college
1/10
A Link to the Past / A Link Between Worlds
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Oh!! So good!! They’re cute pig demons and by gosh they’re gonna let you know it! I just wanna pinch their cheeks before they pincushion me with spears.
10/10
Link’s Awakening / Oracle of Ages / Oracle of Seasons
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Also good! These ones have more of a gruff ‘n tough look that really works for them. I bet they ride motorcycles and talk about smoochin’ all the time. So cool!
8/10
Ocarina of Time
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I... hm. These dudes. They kinda took the tough guy look too far. Losing the shirt was a big mistake, guys. They look like they’re really hoping someone asks about their workout routine.
5/10
Wind Waker
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See, now this is how you Moblin. Pig? Check. Spear? Check. Comical overreactions and general silliness? CHECK. I do have to dock a point, though. Sneakin’ around ‘em always gave me the willies.
9/10
Skyward Sword
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Nipple rings. I’m sorry, I literally can’t comment on anything else. These Moblins have nipple rings and we all have to deal with that.
0/10
Breath of the Wild
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GOOD! They’re so frickin tall! These Moblins play basketball without a doubt. I do miss the pigginess, though. These guys have sort of an elephant-ogre thing going that just isn’t the same.
9/10
BONUS: CDi Games
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oh sweet jesus someone please put this thing out of its misery
FEAR /10
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owenshire · 4 years ago
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Robert Muhlbock (virtually) Inducts Nine Inch Nails into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 2020
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Nine Inch Nails. One band, and often one man, with a computer (and guitar) against the world. Oh yes, Nine Inch Nails have added members for live performances and gained members (well, a member) for studio compositions, but from this “band-like-musical-entity’s” earliest days, it was just one person—one person who combined pop-hooks with industrial whirs, and harrowing rage with uncomfortable vulnerability. And his name is Trent Reznor.  
No one should claim that Nine Inch Nails invented a genre. They didn’t. But they sure as hell popularized and perfected it. Electronic, Industrial, ‘Disco Death Metal’—whatever you want to call it, the labels don’t really matter.  In fact, I think the genre should just be called “sounds like Nine Inch Nails” which is compliment enough on its own, right?  
Nine Inch Nails are one of the most important, vital, inspirational, talented, and unique of musical artists. I love them. And now I’m going to tell you why…in a lengthy video essay, so settle in.  And if you don’t have the fandom or attention span for what I’m about to say, go back to consuming shitty tweets and dumbfuck Instagram posts because you’re not wanted here anyway.
                            _______________________________
My first introduction to NIN began like so many others: by catching the iconic video for “Head Like A Hole” on MTV—the band rocking out amidst electrical wires and magnetic tape, until it seemed like the entire writhing mess would consume them whole.  It’s an image as potent today as it was some 30 years ago.
However, my real introduction to NIN was originally steeped in urban legend. I was in grade 10 and I heard Pretty Hate Machine played on my school bus on the way home. The owner of this cassette tape, a “cool girl” who shall remain nameless, told me that the album was “out of print” and “unavailable.” In short, she assured me that I would never be able to find a copy, but, guess what, I did.
In a trade with former MMA coach Shawn Tompkins—and in my grade 10 art class no less—I swapped two ninja stars for a box of his old cassette tapes, and Pretty Hate Machine was one of them. This was my own NINJA moment, if you will—does anyone get that reference—anyway, upon witnessing said trade some random guy in my art class immediately offered me $25 for the Pretty Hate Machine cassette tape—a king’s ransom in 1990—but of course I wouldn’t sell. I knew it was valuable—and in more than one way. Instead I played the hell out of the cassette in my Walkman. I was 14 years old. “Terrible Lie” was my favourite song from the album. And it still is.
And then—poof—like that, NIN dropped out of my life. Where’d they go? Well, I guess they were making a name for themselves during Lollapalooza 1991, white chalk dust and all. Not that I knew any of this. Pre-internet I had no idea what was going on.  In fact, I wouldn’t hear any new NIN music until almost a full year later when one of my friends with a penchant for industrial music introduced me to the Broken EP. As he handed me his CD for borrowing, he warned me that it was “pretty extreme.” And he was right. The Broken EP is why album warning stickers were invented: it was a fist to the face, a kick to the face—it was even an ass to the face.
Anyway, the Broken EP was my real introduction to the seemingly bottomless rage of NIN. When I heard Broken I was just starting to get into so-called “heavy” music, but nothing could have prepared me for the lyrical and musical brutality of “Wish.” While Reznor’s litany of profanity was extreme—at least to my sheltered 16 year old ears—what truly staggered me was the song’s main riff (you know the one I mean) the one that is so distorted, so disturbing, that it sounds like a guitar being burned alive while flailing in a wind tunnel.
I’d never heard anything like it before—it wasn’t cock-rock; it wasn’t fake satanic rage done for laughs, theatre or to impress--no. Instead it was the audio embodiment of complete destruction and utter despair. And 30 years later, it’s lost none of its power.
                          __________________________________
These same sentiments must be applied to The Downward Spiral, Nine Inch Nail’s career defining work that launched the band into mainstream success. Too often discussions of the record get bogged down by emphasis on “Hurt” or “Closer,” or, to some extent, “Heresy.”
Yes, “Hurt” is the perfect album closer and expression of pleading vulnerability, and, yes, “Closer” and “Heresy’s” choruses were brutally raw and shocking in 1994 (and, it should be said, still above average shocking  in 2020), but I feel the album is best presented as a whole. This was the beginning of NIN’s discovery that (to paraphrase one rock critic) just as much tension can be generated with a whisper as with a scream.
Dynamics have always been a huge part of NIN’s’ sound, and The Downward Spiral stands as a defining moment.  The album, as all of you know, begins with “Mr. Self Destruct” (well, that’s not entirely true—the album actually begins with the audio of what appears to be a man being beaten to death while submerged underwater)—but anyway, “Mr. Self Destruct” was as sonically astonishing to me as “Wish” was two years prior. As I listened to the verses of “Mr. Self Destruct” I kept asking myself “Is it supposed to sound like this? I can’t hear what he’s saying”—it was such a cacophony of meticulously detailed and layered noises, but of course not without substance or a melody: its quiet refrain of “And I control you” buried so deep in the mix, it mirrored the subconscious itself.  
“Mr. Self Destruct” gives way to “Piggy”—again a haunting track that’s almost tender and such a shock in sequence given the song that preceded it. Again. Dynamics. Surprise. Making the atypical typical in the best non-traditional way. Does that make any sense? Anyway, I felt the same way about the mini-piano solo/ lyric pairing of “now doesn’t it make you feel better” before the dramatic pause in “March Of The Pigs”—I don’t think any of us saw THAT coming. I was literally shocked when that phrasing appeared out of no where, emerging like a tiny ironic rainbow out of the whirlwind of thrashing drums, crazy guitars, and “stains like blood on your teeth” screams the preceded it.  
Speaking of screams, the title-track of The Downward Spiral still stands as a monument to vulnerability, despair, and pure abject horror. It’s the only song I’ve ever heard that I am afraid to listen to. When I listen to The Downward Spiral, I wait for the song the way a child hides behind a blanket awaiting glimpses of a film monster: I know it’s coming, and I know it’s going to be horrifying…and it always is. So why do I subject myself to it?
                                     ______________________
That’s a fair question. Let’s be frank here: Nine Inch Nails isn’t for everyone. It takes a certain personality to fully appreciate the band’s complete package of black, blue, and bleeding, “but you can dance to it!” Still, NIN is more than mere nihilism and hopelessness. Those who label the band in such ways, kind of miss the point. To me, NIN has always been—lyrically at least—about catharsis: I suppose ALL music functions as such—a tool of understanding, and a mechanism for coping. Trent Reznor once commented on the vulnerability of his lyrics, saying in an interview with NPR that his topic of choice was less about vanity than it was about delivering a performance with honesty and integrity. The only topic that mattered—his emotional struggle—was the only subject he could speak about with authority and with conviction.
However, it just so happens to be a struggle that millions of other people share. When Trent Reznor sings “Now you know/ this is what it feels like” on The Fragile’s “The Wretched,” he is inviting his audience to share in his pain. Whether he intended it this way or not, his is a gesture borne or isolation but ending in comradery: many of us certainly know what “this” “feels like.” And many, many more of us can certainly relate to the words “Dear World, I can hardly recognize you anymore.”
In short, Trent Reznor’s lyrics, as personal as they are, speak for us: his fans. He speaks for me. He still does.
Interestingly, themes consistent in NIN’s best work offer a type of almost emotional ambivalence: caring, but not caring; wanting to be helped, yet rejecting help; and most importantly, wanting to be alone, yet desperately wishing to connect with others. The songs “We’re In This Together” and “The Fragile” perfectly illustrate these sentiments.   To me, it is no coincidence they are sequenced side by side on the “some-critics-didn’t-like-it-at-the-time-but-have-since-come-to-their-senses-album” The Fragile.
                                      _________________
Musically, however, NIN is best known for three distinct styles of music: computer chaos, groovy beats, and symphonic soundscapes. I’ve touched on the first—and will return to it—but for now, let’s discuss the second. I’m not a huge fan of the term “death-disco”; however, NIN’s long list of ass-shaking beats, should not be overlooked. What began on Pretty Hate Machine with “Sin” and “The Only Time,” pleasantly resurface on “Into The Void” only to be perfected on “The Hand That Feeds,” “Only” “Capital G,” and “Discipline” not to mention a large portion of Hesitation Marks.
But back to computer chaos—or maybe just chaos in general. I can think of no better example to illustrate my point than the final coda to the song “The Great Destroyer” on the fabulous dystopian opus Year Zero—one of my favourite albums of all time: the sound of things falling apart—wires frayed, systems destroyed, screens cracked: static humming and ‘please stand by’ messages flicking forever. The Eater of Dreams. “All we ever were—just zeros and ones.”  
                                           ____________________
The final cornerstone of NIN’s musical contribution is soundscapes and instrumentals, and what a can of worms THAT is given all that’s transpired since 2011.  Anyway, when The Fragile was released in 1999, more than a few fans bemoaned its inclusion of no less than 7 instrumentals, and yet these contributions have always been a signature addition to NIN’s body of work: from “pinion,” “help me I am in hell,” “a warm place,” the deeply personal “La Mer,” to Ghosts I through VI, NIN’s experiments with sound have always been integral to their songwriting process—a willingness to experiment and a love of discovery which surprisingly, yet somewhat inevitably, lead to NIN’s work in soundtracks. Beginning somewhat inadvertently with Tony Scott’s Man On Fire (look it up), and then deliberately on the video game Quake, this creative direction eventually resulted in (as we all know) various Oscar and Emmy nominations and wins for Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, and yeah, while technically not “Nine Inch Nails” releases, I think we can all agree it’s hard to separate the two sometimes because as we all know, the line begins to blur, amiright?  
The point is this: Nine Inch Nails were and are no strangers to pushing boundaries musically, visually, and artistically. Some defining unconventional moments in the band’s career to me are as follows:
·  The 97 one-second tracks on the Broken EP before its final two songs; the infamous Broken film itself—a movie I found on a bootlegged VHS tape and rented for a mere 1 dollar at the time—and then proceeded to wish that I never did.
·  Moving on, there is of course the band’s seminal 1994 Woodstock performance, where the musicians arrived on stage in a foggy haze, caked head to toe in mud, and bringing the apocalypse with them;
·  Next we have the Alternate Reality Game developed around the release of Year Zero,
·  There was the free download of The Slip; and the free downloads of Ghosts V and VI some years later
·  Who could also forget about the NINREMIX website where fans were invited to remix the band’s songs and post them for all to enjoy, and copyright be damned.
·  Um, there was also that time they said “a heartfelt fuck you” to the Grammy’s.  
·   And finally we have Nine Inch Nail’s unexpected live appearance on the rather toned down Austin City Limits.
And the list goes on. Trent Reznor once explained such actions in the most self-aware terms possible: he likes pushing himself (as well as his fans) out of comfort zones, to flirt with mainstream conventions but to approach and execute them as only Nine Inch Nails can: with integrity and—to borrow Trent’s appraisal of the late David Bowie—“uncompromising vision.”      
                               _______________________________
Speaking of integrity and uncompromising vision, NIN’s humility is one of the band’s most inspiring and endearing characteristics. In Reznor’s case, we’re talking about an accomplished artist who admitted publically that he still feels he has so much to learn about his craft—that he’s barely scratched the surface regarding his mastery of sound and songwriting; a man that mocked his own starry eyed expression upon receiving an Oscar by pairing it with the caption “I see unicorns” and inviting fans to provide similar self-deprecating taglines.  A man who speaks in measured tones about his opportunities and successes in his life—and does so, repeatedly I might add, quietly, humbly, and gratefully.  
Such self-awareness is extremely rare in show-business let alone by a band that’s achieved as much as Nine Inch Nails.
And guess what? Here’s the thing. I think there’s no stopping them. With Nine Inch Nails—particularly, Trent and Atticus no matter what they call themselves and until they are inducted into the IHOR as solo artists, anything’s possible:  
·  Scoring a children’s movie? The upcoming Pixar film Soul? Why not? Let’s have some more. Give me a children’s album!
·  Creating a vintage jazz ballad (the unparalleled “The Way It Used to Be”) in a week and making it indistinguishable from other songs of the era? Of course!
·  Winning a Tony Award to become part of the EGOT club—I say sure. In fact, prediction: before the end of the world (so basically, in about 30 years) Nine Inch Nails will get an EGOT.  There. Prove me wrong.
                                       ______________________
In 1997 Spin Magazine once hailed Trent Reznor as “the most vital artist in music today,” while in that same year Trent Reznor appeared on Time Magazine’s list of the top 25 most influential Americans.
These accolades were well earned; however, I prefer a statement made by some music magazine critic whose name escapes me in their review of a Nine Inch Nails album whose name also escapes me: they said, “we can only hope something else pisses him off,” sentiments which I’m sure are echoed by many, and to which I reply…there seems to be no worry about that.
                                      ____________________          
Nine Inch Nails encompass a facet of popular art that is as necessary as it is compulsory: they remind us that the world is not pleasant; tragedy is inevitable; the game is rigged; faith is a lie; and everyone you know will abandon or disappoint you.
But guess what? If you’re lucky, the way out is through, motherfuckers.
I am honoured to induct Nine Inch Nails into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  
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jetsandbennie · 6 years ago
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a family can be...
summary: your daughter gets in trouble at school, and you, ben, and joe decide to dig and find out why.
warnings: fluff, angst
pairing: ben hardy x joe mazzello x reader
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Marla, really, doesn’t get sad very often.
Or - at least - she doesn’t cry very often. And she is six so the occasional tears come, like when she burnt her hand while making cookies, or when Frankie bit the ear off of her favourite stuffed pig, but even those fits were over in a rather short amount of time. Ben wrapped her hand and gave it a big, dramatic kiss, and then put on her favourite movie until she was curled up into his side, chewing on the cookie she was splitting with her father, and Joe sat down with the pig and a YouTube video and within an hour the pig was fixed - sure, there was a light blue line of thread connecting the ear to the head, but that just makes it special, you murmured into Marla’s hair as she wrapped her arms around Joe to thank him.
As a newborn she was an absolute monster with the crying and Joe jokes that her peacefulness now is the universe’s way of apologizing for that. You’ve accepted that conclusion, and appreciated it, as well. Sent a silent thank you into the still air whenever Marla went to sleep without throwing a tantrum, like you apparently did.
She’s inconsolable now. That’s what makes this entire thing worse, what makes your heart ache for your girl. Marla is sobbing, hiccuping, clutching Piggy to her chest, bitten fingernails tugging at the blue thread connecting the stuffie’s ear to its head. Part of you wants to tell her no, Marley, baby, don’t do that, because if the thread comes undone - but you don’t.
“Marla, honey,” you coo in your softest voice, turning to look at her in the backseat. It’s nearly 4, now, later than you’ve ever picked her up before because of this whole situation, and no matter how Miss Rothenhouse tried to explain what happened, you just couldn’t understand. Needed to hear it from your girl herself. “Can you tell me what happened?”
Pigtails tied up with yellow ribbon - Ben’s careful work this morning, after Marla begged him the night before - swing as she shakes her head no, and you reach back to place your fingers under her chin. Lift her head up slightly to look at you. Tears cling to her eyelashes, face bright red, and you only get a minute to look at her before she brings her hands up to cover her face, Piggy falling to the seat next to her.
You sigh and turn back around, entirely too aware of your daughter still crying, but you need to get her home before you can speak to her. Before you can hear why she got in trouble, why she hit that boy in the face, why she’s crying so hard. In due time.
As you pull out of the elementary school parking lot, you stop the car, opening your phone and sending a text to the group chat consisting of both of your husbands. Beg them to come home. There’s an emergency with Marla at school. You know that specific term will make them rush back to the house, and that’s what you need.
It’s much easier to help Marla with her dads there.
 --
 Marla makes you carry her from the car into your house, and she’s so tiny that this isn’t a physical issue, but she has a thing now where she hates being carried. Prefers to walk on her own, like a big girl, and you, Ben, and Joe just accept it. Sniff a bit at your growing daughter, too big to wanna be carried, but really, it’s a non-issue.
It’s a mark of how upset she is that she wants to be in your arms. She wraps her legs around your torso and buries her head into your neck, sniffling every so often as you lock the car and make your way inside.
When you’ve sat her down on the couch, she brings her tiny fist up to rub at her eyes, and you kneel in front of her. You lean down so you’re looking into her eyes, and then you reach up to brush a loose curl out of her face.
“Marla, honey.” She’s so small already and when she winds her arms around yours, pressing her cheek to your hand to hold it there she just seems tinier. “I need you to tell me what happened.”
You’re prepared for her to start crying again, but then she looks around the rest of the couch and says, voice slightly hoarse, “Where’s piggy?”
Three minutes later when you’ve run out to the car to get her stuffed animal, let her reacquaint with him, and grabbed her favourite blanket to curl up under, you say again, “Can you tell me what made you upset at school, honey bee?”
Marla’s eyes well up again, and you push yourself up to sit next to her, letting her wrap herself into your side. Your hand rubs her back, silently consoling her, giving her a moment until she mumbles, “I hit a boy and Miss Rothenhouse yelled at me.”
It’s nothing you didn’t know, truthfully. That’s exactly what her kindergarten teacher told you. But you appreciate hearing it from her. “Alright. Why did you -”
From across the house you can hear the front door opening, and then a loud call of “Marla?” A few seconds later, Ben calls again, “Y/N? Marla?”
“We’re in the living room,” you call back, eyes on your daughter as she brings her pig up to cover her face. You’re sure Piggy’s fur will get messy if she gets tears on it - it’s happened before - but it isn’t a hassle to get it out. And she loves the stuffie so much, you’re sure she uses it for everything by now.
After a moment your husbands appear in the living room - Joe clutching a lemonade Capri Sun in his hand, Marla’s favourite - and you can see their expressions change when they see her.
“Hi, honey,” Ben murmurs in his softest voice. Marla hiccups and presses Piggy further into her face. “Mama said you had a bad day at school.”
Joe takes a few steps forward and sits on the coffee table, pulling the straw off the back of the juice box and stabbing it into the drink. He holds it out to your daughter, offering her a small smile, and she reaches out to grab it with a shaky fist. “Can you tell us about it?”
She’s such a daddy’s girl, you think. It took you nearly twenty minutes to get her to talk to you, and they waltz in and she’s ready to share it all. Ben sits down on the other side of her, throwing his arm over the back of the couch. You lean your head back against his arm, and he drops his hand down to rub your shoulder slightly.
Marla’s bottom lip pouts out as she says, voice soft, “I got in trouble. Miss Rothenhouse yelled at me and then I had to stay later.”
She takes a nice long sip of her lemonade. Then she says - in response to the question that hasn’t been asked yet, but perhaps she knew it was coming anyway - “I hit a boy. Joshua C.”
Silence between your men follows the confession.
You look up at Joe, meeting his eyes, and he looks just as confused as you felt when you heard it. Because Marla - she isn’t a violent kid. She’s never hit anyone before, didn’t even let Ben kill the spider in her room when she found it before bed. She sat next to Frankie for ten minutes after stepping on her tail, burying her face into the dog’s stomach and apologizing until she was tongue tied. Every report card she’s gotten this far has been Miss Rothenhouse raving about what a sweet, respectful girl she is and then - and then this. Hitting someone is just - out of the picture for her. It doesn’t seem right.
Ben regains composure before Joe, and slowly he asks, “Honey, why did you hit him?”
Marla drops Piggy and her juice onto her lap and brings her hand up to her face, and she hiccups another sob. Hitting is strictly forbidden in your house, and she knows - knows it’s one of the worst offenses she can do - and surely she thinks she’s in for it, but you can’t bring yourself to be mad at her.
Because there was … something. Something in the way Miss Rothenhouse talked to you about it, in such a vague way - “Well, Ma’am, you know hitting is strictly against the rules at this school, so nothing would have warranted Marla’s behavior …” and, sure, perhaps she was right. But Marla would never hit a boy for no reason. You know that.
At the relapse of Marla’s crying the three of you move at once - Ben drops to his knees in front of the couch, Joe leans forward and grabs her leaking juice box off of her lap, setting it on the table beside him, and you press your cheek against the top of her head. Even if she did break the rules it hurts all three of you seeing her cry, and Joe grabs your hand, thumb stroking your skin. His other hand grasps Ben, and it’s a silent form of comfort for you all.
“Marla, babe. Don’t cry. We aren’t mad,” Joe murmurs. Ben reaches up and pulls Marla’s one hand away from her face, and she drops her other one onto her lap. “Can you tell us why you hit him? Joshua?”
Your daughter sniffles, and then says, “He called me weird.”
You raise an eyebrow. “He called you weird?”
“Because - because I told him I have two dads.”
Oh.
That’s a whole different ball game. Joe’s hand slowly pulls away from yours, and Ben sucks in a deep breath.
You suppose you knew this would happen, one day. Anything outside the strict norm tends to be considered odd and two men and a woman raising a daughter without knowing her true paternity was certainly far from the norm, but God. In kindergarten? It’s so early.
“Jesus,” Ben sighs, and when you look up at him his hands are covering his face. You reach over and place your hand over his back, rubbing slowly. Your other hand rests on Joe’s shoulder. “F - Jesus.”
“I’m sorry,” Marla whimpers, leaning forward to rest her head against Joe’s. “I’m sorry. I’m not gonna have recess for a week. And - and Emma said I might get kicked out of school.”
You exhale, eyes meeting Joe’s again. You don’t want to have this conversation, not yet. When she’s older it’ll be easier, easier for her to understand. But she’s so young. She can’t understand.
Joe pushes himself up to sit back on the coffee table, and Marla leans back against the couch. Her hair swings as she looks up at Ben, examining her dad - his head in his hands, how you’re rubbing his back - and she pulls her knees to her chest. “I’m sorry, daddy,” she whispers, and Ben moves one hand to the back of her head.
“No, honey.” Joe’s voice is firmer, now. “You’re not going to get kicked out of school.”
“But Emma -”
“Emma is wrong, baby,” you murmur, and Marla’s brows furrow. “You aren’t in trouble.”
You can practically see her mind whirring. Then she says, “But hitting is against the rules.”
Ben runs his other hand through his hair, shaking his head. “It is. And we aren’t happy that you did.” He pauses. “But Joshua C. shouldn’t have called you weird. That’s very mean of him.”
Marla nods. “Miss Rothenhouse said that I shouldn’t hit people no matter what. But he’s so mean. He said I’m a liar because I said I have two daddies, not one, and he said that isn’t possible.” She scrunches her nose up. “But it is possible.”
Joe nods. “It is.”
“So why did he say it isn’t?”
Ben pushes himself up and sits next to Joe on the table. His hand migrates to Joe’s, and you watch their fingers intertwine with a small smile on your face. Then Ben holds out his other hand to Marla and gives her a smile. “Come here, Marla.”
Her tiny hand reaches out to grab his, and with a make believe struggle he pulls her up off the couch. She clambers up onto his lab, leaning back against his chest, and Joe hands her the Capri Sun he’d taken earlier. She sticks the straw into her mouth and takes a big gulp.
There’s a few beats of silence. The three of you wait to see who will speak first - who will start this conversation - and finally you begin, “Marla, you have to understand that our family is very different.”
Marla nods. Because, yes, you’ve talked about it, how the four of you are different than most other families. But you’ve barely scratched the surface with it. Now you need to - dig a bit deeper, you suppose.
“Well, some people don’t like that we’re different.”
“Why?”
“Because they don’t understand,” Ben continues, taking the metaphorical torch from you. You give him a grateful smile, and Joe squeezes his hand. “Sometimes people think it’s easier to be rude than try to understand.”
Marla swings one leg over Joe’s thigh so she’s sitting half on both of her dads’ laps, which is her favourite way to sit with them - such a daddy’s girl. “That doesn’t make sense.”
Joe laughs humorlessly. “It doesn’t make sense, Marley, I know. When everyone does something one way, that’s the only way they think it can be done.”
“So Joshua C. thinks that only a man and a woman can have families.” You watch as she nods slowly in understanding before continuing. “Because he was raised by only a mommy and a daddy. So he thinks it’s weird that you have two daddies and a mommy.”
“Oh.” Marla brings her thumb up to her lips, nibbling on her nails just like Joe does. “So - so they want everyone to have one mommy and one daddy.”
“Yeah,” Ben confirms.
“But I like having two daddies,” she pouts, and Joe reaches over and grabs Piggy off of the couch, setting it in her lap. She picks at the blue thread again. “I don’t wanna just have one.”
You smile, pinching her cheeks until she’s grinning too. “Baby, you don’t have to have one daddy.”
“Yeah, we aren’t going anywhere,” Ben says. He wraps his arm around Marla and leans down, pressing kisses onto the top of her head. “Neither of us. Right, papa?”
Ben waggles his eyebrows at Joe, and the ginger laughs. “We’re here forever, Marley. Promise.”
Marla nods, and then grins a toothy smile. She lost her first tooth three weeks ago and got three nice $1 bills out of it, as well as a big gap in her bottom row of teeth. “Okay.” Gripping Piggy under her arm, she wiggles out of Joe and Ben’s arms and back onto the ground. “Mama, will you play dolls with me?”
A smile spreads like wildfire across your face, and you lean down to kiss her cheek. “Alright, honey. Go get everything set up in the playroom and I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Before you can finish, Marla bounds down the hall, sock covered feet pattering against the floor. You crane your neck to watch her run up the stairs, hearing her bedroom door open, and then you turn back to Ben and Joe, the happy expression slowly falling from your face.
“God.” Ben shakes his head, taking a deep breath. “That fucking bitch.”
“Ben -”
“I mean, the nerve -”
“I know.”
Joe wraps his arm around Ben, pulling him closer, and Ben presses his cheek against your husband’s shoulder - you sit yourself on the arm of the couch, rubbing your forehead.
“I can’t believe she’s missing recess for this shit,” Ben mumbles into Joe’s shoulder.
You exhale slowly. “She isn’t. I’ll talk to Miss Rothenhouse or - or email the principal.”
“We need to talk to Joshua C’s mom.” Joe brings his hand up to Ben’s hair, running his fingers through the blonde strands. “Because I’m sure no one mentioned what he said to Marla.”
“I’m sure she’s the one who taught him that stuff, Joey,” you say. “I don’t think she’ll care.”
Ben turns his head so he can look at you, eyes softening. “I can’t let Marla get in trouble for this.”
Nodding slowly, you stand up, smiling slightly at your men. “We’ll talk about this later, alright? Everything’s going to be okay. No missed recess for our girl.” You take a step forward and press a kiss to Joe’s lips, and then to Ben’s forehead. “But I have a reservation to play dolls.”
“Then you better go,” Joe says. “She needs some dolltime.” He pauses, reaching his hand up to massage your hip. “And an Oreo or two, I think.”
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rosywaifu · 5 years ago
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Home { Fairytail x OC Oneshot}
This is for @halfbloodskull - Their OC! 
Thanks for giving me my first request, I hope I did okay!! <3
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It’s been eight year since i’ve been home. As I walked through the cobblestone streets of Magnolia memories of my last time here cloud my head. 
“Baby, you can’t use your powers like this, so casually! You could hurt someone, not to mention you WILL hurt yourself. You have to be more careful!” My mother said. Her voice was loud but not so much with anger, more with worry. I rolled my eyes. At just seven years old, I was stubborn and audacious. I didn’t care about what my mother had to say. I wanted to use my powers however I chose. They are my powers after all. “Mom, you can’t control my powers like this! I’m the Celestial Dragon Slayer! I have this super cool magic that needs to be shared with the world! Lucy uses her spirits whenever she wants, I have the same magic but stronger! I will use it however I like, I don’t care about the consequences!” My father finally looked up at me. He’d been ignoring the conversation, or so I thought. Turns out, he was just biding his time until he found an appropriate moment to butt in. 
“Akuma, you will listen to your mother or so help me, Zeus will strike you down where you stand!” My father roared making me flinch a little. My eyes welled with tears as they darted between my father’s harsh look and my mother, who looked like she wanted to stand up for me but found it better to not invoke more of my fathers wrath from her babying me. I finally made a dash for my room and barricaded to door behind me. I curled into a ball on my bed for hours, tears softly and silently rolling down my red cheeks. I looked out the window at the setting sun. My window was at the perfect angle to see my guild, FairyTail. My friend Wendy was probably there now, laughing and eating with all the others. I couldn’t help but feel that no one really care for me here. I chewed on my lip as I wiped my face with my sleeve, a thought worked its ay into the forefront of my brain. Thinking on it for no more than a second, I. began to pack some things: a few changes of clothes, all the money from my piggy bank, a sleeping bag and pillow. I shoved a few other keepsakes in there, like a picture of my family, the whole family at FairyTail. I admired the picture before folding it and shoving it in the front pouch of the bag. It was everyone at FairyTail, smiling brightly at the Picture Lacrima they day I got my guild mark. I then sat at my desk and pulled out a piece of paper and pencil. I constructed a letter to my parents telling them I was running away, telling them not to look for me and that I still loved them but I needed to be on my own. I wrote another, shorter letter and addressed it to Wendy. She was my best friend after all so I feel like she should get her own explanation she can explain to the guild. It said essentially the same thing; the fight with my parents and them controlling my magic, how I need to be alone, for them not to look for me, and that I still love them. With both letters sealed sitting on my desk, I open the window and jump onto the ledge. With a final look into my window at my room and all my things, thinking about my parents on the other side of that door. I was too far into my plan so I jumped the sort way down and landed in the bushes below. After dusting myself off, I discreetly made my way out of Magnolia. 
Eight long years have passed now and I have definitely changed… My short black hair was now shoulder length and shaggy, My bright red eyes, hued a little darker. My short kid-sized frame was now that of a fifteen year old; slim and lean. I had some muscles that I gathered through odd jobs in random towns. 
I passed some familiar shops as I wandered deeper into town. I was weary. My magic slowly drained my energy every time I used it. It would replenish after some time but would take a while. I realized that the first week I was gone. I had used so much of my magic, that by the end of three days by myself, I was near collapsed outside of a small town. Thankfully, some townsperson found me and gave me a room to sleep in to replenish my energy. It was then that I realized my mother was right, of course. But I would have been so embarrassed to return so soon. I had to stick it out. But now, I was really weak. There had been some monsters a little outside Magnolia. I hadn’t intended to come home, but the monsters really took it out of me. I had to use so many of my spirits, including Leo who I hate, because he’s the strongest in the Zodiac. I needed to go somewhere to rest up, and Magnolia was closest. 
I saw FairyTail so close in the distance. I almost didn’t want to go in. What if they forgot about me? What if they’ve moved on? What if they never cared that I left? These thoughts rammed themselves through my head as I slowly inched forward. I sat outside the guild for a few hours, working up the courage to go in. I’d rather see them first then my parents. The mere thought of seeing my parents made bile rise up and make me feel sick. Finally, as the sun was setting behind the guild, I pushed open the door. The guild had changed.. It was bigger now, but I suppose that’s to be expected after eight years. However, it was the sam guild because as I entered I was washed over with this sense of familiarity and safety. Cana was drinking up a storm, guzzling a barrel of some sort of alcohol while talking to Mirajane at the same time. Natsu and Gray seemed to be fighting about something and Erza marched up to them to break it up. Macao and Wakaba were complaining about how old they were while simotaneously staring at all of the woman of the guild. Finally, I saw Wendy. She was chatting happily with Gajeel and Levy. She had grown up too. Blue hair still long and pulled into pig tails. She didn’t look any older really, except she had gotten taller. I softly shut the door behind me. Instrusive thoughts about how they didn’t care about me wormed in when I noticed they didn’t even see someone had entered the guild. I cleared my throat loudly, silencing the guild pretty effectively. 
“Mira, if it isn’t too much trouble, i’d love something to drink.” My voice had a hint of playfulness to it alongside the raspy and dry sound of it. In truth, I hadn’t had much to drink in the last few days. They all stared at me with wide and confused eyes. Finally, Wendy stood up, her head cocked to the side as tears began to well in her big, brown eyes. 
“A-Akuma? Is that really you?” She slowly walked forward. I smiled softly and nodded. So maybe they had missed me. Almost immediately after I nodded, she launched herself forward and tackled me to the ground in a hug. She was full on crying now. I struggled to breathe as I laughed softly but it turned into a cough. 
“I missed you so much!” Then, like a flip had switched, she sat up and looked at me and slapped my shoulder, hard. 
“Where the hell were you! Why did you leave, with only a note!! Why did you do that, do you know how you made us feel?” She gestured to the guild who were all misty-eyed and smiling softly at our exchange. I heard lots of shouts of “We missed you, Akuma!”, “Welcome home!” and “ We’re so glad your home!”. Now, it was time for my eyes to spill tears. I was so worried about if they would miss me or be made at me that I almost forgot how much I missed them. 
“I’m…I’m so sorry I left everybody! I was so upset and it seemed like the best option but I missed you all so much.” Tear rolled down hotly on my cheeks and they all rushed to give me a big group hug. I relished in the feeling of being home when I realized there were still two people I had yet to see. 
Once everyone had pulled away, I told Wendy I’d be back later. She understood what I had to go do. 
“I really missed my best friend, Akuma. Thanks for coming home!” Her cheerful smile jolted me with energy to go see my parents. 
It was a short walk to where I used to live with my parents. With every step, my heart beat ten times faster. Were they going to be angry with me? What if they had another child after I left and didn’t want me anymore? I knocked on the wooden door and chewed on my lip hard, making me taste blood on my tongue. My mother opened the door. She looked older, of course. She didn’t seem to recognize me for a split second but after a moment she seemed to realize who I was. 
“Akuma! Oh my sweet boy! Oh my gods, Thank Zeus you have returned!” She pulled me to the ground in a tight hug, sobbing loudly as she thanked every god and goddess she could think of that I had returned. My father, hearing the commotion came in from outside. When he saw me and saw my mother’s reaction he realized who I was. He stiffed slightly. I could tell he was still mad at me. But, he also missed me. He looked conflicted within himself. Finally he pulled me into a tight hug, nearly crushing me. After a moment, he pulled away. His face was red and his dark eyes glistened with tears. He took a dark-colored hand and brushed some hair away from my face. 
“You are so grounded, young man.” He paused and smiled stiffly at me. Beyond his anger I could tell he was glad I was home. He wouldn’t say it, I get my own stubbornness and pride from him after all, but I knew what he was feeling. My mother appeared at my father’s side and with her bright pink eyes, she took her own, pale hand and cupped my cheek softly, a large and kind smile gracing her soft features. I smiled at them both. I was finally home. 
word count: 1,824
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welcometothepenumbra · 6 years ago
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SECOND CITADEL – THE SPORTIVE NYMPHS (PART TWO)
SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.
CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra.
SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.
Take your seat, please, take your seat.
MUSIC: STARTS.
The junction lies ahead, so if you’ll allow me just a moment.
SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.
We are now passing through the Lake of Tranquility.
SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.
Our next stop?
SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES.
The Sportive Nymphs.
SOUND: DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.
ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.
***
SOUND: BIRDS CHIRPING, CROWD MURMURING.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Ladies and more ladies. For fifty thousand years, this has been the event that has brought all nymphs together as one. Just today we’ve seen poetry, battle, rivalry, love, and very soon, loss.
Who will rise victorious? Who will free the damsel? And who will lose his life? We’ll find out now, in the final round of… sport!
MUSIC: STARTS.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Makes me kinda sad that this is over, Sunny. Game 28,955 has been a hell of a game, a hell of a game.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Don’t have time to be sad for too long, Pit, ‘cause remember: we’ll have another exciting round of play ready for the next group of boys to wander through here!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Miracles of progress, Sunny; can’t fault ‘em.
SOUND: GALLOPING.
DAMIEN: Remember our plan, Marc: I shall save this damsel, and while the enchantresses are distracted, you will save Sir Angelo and Talfryn.
MARC: That was your plan, actually. I liked mine better.
DAMIEN: Now is not the time…
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): We’re all sad to see it end, but let’s leave these games on a high note. What can we expect for our final round, Pitley?
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Oh, nothing special… just a briar cagematch!
SUNNY & PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): (CHEERING)
NYMPH CROWD: (CHEERS)
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Now that’s a treat!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Rules are simple: first to free the damsel wins, and the loser’s partner dies a few seconds after; for, uh, reasons I’d say are pretty obvious.
SUNNY, PITLEY & NYMPH CROWD: (LAUGHS)
MARC: You have a bow. It makes way more sense for me to save the damsel and for you to shoot those nymphs!
DAMIEN: Makes sense? You have a horse!
MARC: And how do you figure I use him, huh? Gallop straight through those thorns as long as knives and cut Dampierre to pieces?
DAMIEN: It is our only choice. My arrows will do nothing to creatures even Sir Angelo cannot overpower. Your horse is just a horse. Sir Angelo is responsible for the lives of—
MARC: Just a horse? Just a horse?! Alright, changed my mind, that’s the dumbest thing you’ve said all day.
SOUND: HORSE SNORT.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Looks like our athletes have entered the briar cage, Pit. But is it just me, or do they look a little distracted?
DAMIEN: This is still about our bet, isn’t it? You don’t want me to save the damsel because—
MARC: It is not about that! I don’t care! But that’s my brother up there—
DAMIEN: But Sir Angelo is the greatest knight—
MARC: And that makes him worth more than the people he protects? Huh?
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Don’t care what they’re arguing about, Sunny. Sport waits for no man. (YELLING) Bring! Out! The! Damselllllllllllll!
SOUND: RUSTLING, HEAVY CLUNKS.
ANGELO (FROM MICROPHONE): Marc! Sir Damien! Something’s coming!
MUSIC: ENDS/IS DROWNED OUT BY SFX.
MARC: Alright, well, neither one of us is going to save her if we keep fighting like this, so…
Uh… where is she?
DAMIEN: I cannot see her. This arena is nothing but flat grass and those tall briars. But that noise… it sounds like… a wagon.
MARC: (CALLING) Tal! Do you see what’s in that thing?
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): I don’t, but…
Damsel…! Why does that sound so familiar?
SOUND: DISTANT DULL BANG. CLUNKING & RUSTLING STOPS.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Here she is, ladies: the damsel we’ve all been waiting for is just behind that thicket!
SOUND: DISTANT DULL BANG.
DAMIEN: (CALLING) Talfryn! What are we to prepare ourselves for? What beast attacks this maiden beyond the thorns?
SOUND: DISTANT DULL BANG.
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): Damsel… damsel…
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): So put your hands together for the star of the hour…
SOUND: DISTANT DULL BANG.
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): The damsel isn’t a woman, guys! It’s a—
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Zygoptera phallophaga: the Maneater Damsel!
SOUND: DISTANT DULL BANG.
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): —damselfly!!!
SOUND: WOOD SPLINTERING.
NYMPH CROWD, SUNNY, & PITLEY: (AWED) The Damsel!
SOUND: HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING/INSECT BUZZING.
DAMIEN: A dragonfly the size of a dragon… Saints above!
MARC: Grab on, Damien!
SOUND: UNHOLY BUG-MONSTER SCREECH.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Ooooh! She came so close! The game could’ve been over right there, Pit!
SOUND: GALLOPING.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Wouldn’t have been the first time that happened. Back in the day that’d be a real heartbreaker, you wait, and wait, and chomp! It’s all over.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): And she’s got to save that appetite for one of these two snacks up here, ‘cause boy, are they a mouthful!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Oh, don’t tempt me, Budkin!
SOUND: DAMSELFLY SCREECH.
MARC: Faster, Dampierre!
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): You know I can’t help myself. But don’t get those feelers in a twist just yet, Pit – you still have to tell us how the briar cagematch plays out!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Now, the first thing the crowd’s gonna notice is the view – we’re about a hundred yards away from the action here and yes, that is disappointing, ladies, but it’s for your own safety! The Maneater Damsel is perfectly tame, but once it gets its first taste of flesh it does not stop eating until it dies of a burst belly or about twenty gallons of stinger venom.
(CALLING OFF-MIC) You’ve got the venom this time, right? I said the ven-nom! I don’t want another screw-up like last time, alright, no pig’s gonna save you now, you hear me?
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): (OVERLAPPING WITH THE END OF THE ABOVE) This is probably a good time to remind everyone in the audience of our emergency exit protocol, which will take place immediately after one of the champions severs the chain confining the Damsel to the arena.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): And then we pick which one’a these two boys gets a ride to safety! Ain’t that right, fellas?
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): Ohhhhhh…
MARC: Free the Damsel from her chains… you’re kidding me!
DAMIEN: Their wordplay matters no longer. Slow your steed and I shall sever that chain in seconds.
SOUND: STRETCHING. WHINNY.
DAMIEN: Wh– Marc, what are you doing?
MARC: If you break that chain, Princess Bug is going to eat my brother!
DAMIEN: Oh, Saints, it’s true… a civilian to die in the place of a knight? Improper… and yet, Sir Angelo, my friend and rival, I cannot lose—
SOUND: HELICOPTER BLADES WHIR MUCH LOUDER, DAMSEL SCREECH, THEN WHIR BACK TO NORMAL.
MARC: Just shut up and shoot the bug! Shoot the bug!
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Another divebomb! The Damsel’s picking up speed!
DAMIEN: Saint Damien, your Tranquility, even in the chaos of battle, the thrill of sport—
MARC: Pray later! Bug now!
SOUND: STRETCH.
DAMIEN: Ha!
SOUND: FOUR RAPID SWISH-CLINKS.
Oh dear.
MARC: Dampierre!
SOUND: WHINNY. BLADES WHIR LOUDER, THEN BACK TO NORMAL.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Another miss by the Damsel! Look at that horse run, Pit!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Oh, I’m lookin’, Sunny. Seems like our athletes just learned their first lesson about the Maneater Damsel: it’s charmed! Immune to metal! It’s an old charm, but a good one – I mean, hell, a thousand years in the cocoon’s got to be worth something, right?
DAMIEN: Charmed!
MARC: Charming.
(CALLING) Tal! You have anything about giant magic thousand-year bugs in that big brain of yours?
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): No… but I was just thinking that nymph is also another word for an adolescent bug, specifically one that doesn’t go through metamorphosis in the chrysalis or—
ANGELO (FROM MICROPHONE): (STRAINED) This is all very interesting, good Talfryn; but perhaps information more relevant to our current situation—
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): Uh, uh…
Marc! From up here it looks like the Damsel’s chain doesn’t reach the whole arena! You should be safe over by that big rock at the edge!
MARC: Got it! Damien, try to hold it back!
DAMIEN: With what?!
MARC: Here. Special delivery from Rilla. A couple handfuls should do it.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): You’re too nice to that one, Pit.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): What can I say, Sunny? Always was a sucker for a pretty face.
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): Ugghhhhhhhhhhhh.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): It’s a compliment, kid. Take it!
SOUND: BLADES WHIR LOUDER, DAMSEL SCREECH, THEN WHIR BACK TO NORMAL.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Another divebomb! And the fastest one yet! I can’t see how those two are going to avoid this one!
DAMIEN: My Saint… my Rilla…
(GRUNTS) Protect us!
SOUND: POP, FLAMES WHOOSH. INSECT BUZZING OVERTAKES ALL SOUNDS.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Incredible! Sszzzzzir Damien shot a fireball! You ever zzzzzee this before, Pitley?
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): (BUZZING)
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): She let go! Sir Angelo, she let go of me!
ANGELO (FROM MICROPHONE): S-Saints… a-bo—
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): Wh— we have to run! We have to—
ANGELO (FROM MICROPHONE): S-S-Saints a-bo… huh! Saints above, man! The woman is bees!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): ZZZZZZZzzzzzzorry about that, Sunny!
SOUND: BUZZING FADES OUT. BIRDS CHIRPING, CROWD MURMURING IN BACKGROUND.
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): Oof!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): I’ve just… it’s like a whole new game out there! I haven’t seen sport this good since Game 28,954, how long ago was that, Sunny?
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Four days, Pit.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Hell of a game! The of-Nakeeshes versus those incredible piggies, never seen a Damsel go so wild, never seen an afterparty get so out of hand, hell I can barely remember the entire week before it—
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): That’s alright, Pit. What a time to be alive!
TALFRYN (FROM MICROPHONE): (YELLING) Sir Marc! The nymphs, they aren’t nice ladies – they’re just swarms of bugs that look like nice ladies, and—
SOUND: SEVERAL QUICK BEEPS.
MARC: (AFTER A PAUSE, CALLING) Sir– Sir Talfryn?!
Tal!!
ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.
***
PITLEY: Heyyyyyyyyy Sunny.
SUNNY: Yeah, Pitley?
PITLEY: I missed the last couple seconds’a that, ‘cause someone was yakkin’ away… you mind if we take another look?
SUNNY: Not a problem, Pit.
PITLEY: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrreplay!!
SOUND: TAPE REWINDING. BIRDS CHIRPING, CROWD MURMURING IN BACKGROUND.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): …I haven’t seen sport this good since Game 28,954, how long ago was that, Sunny?
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Four days, Pit.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Hell of a game! The of-Nakeeshes versus those incredible piggies, never seen a Damsel go so wild, never seen an afterparty get so out of hand, hell I can barely remember the entire week before it—
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): That’s alright, Pit. What a time to be alive!
TALFRYN (MIC ECHOING): Sir Marc! The nymphs, they aren’t nice ladies, they’re just swarms of bugs that look like nice ladies, and—
SOUND: SEVERAL QUICK BEEPS, MIC ECHO CUTS OUT.
(OFF-MIC) —it looks like they lose their grip when they… when they…
What happened?
PITLEY: They’re the ones playing the sport. We just sit back and watch the drama.
TALFRYN: (YELLING) Sir Marc! You have to— (CHOKING)
SOUND: FABRIC RUSTLING.
PITLEY: Loose lips get hit, kiddo. Remember that.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): The Damsel’s getting up, now…
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH.
It looks like that hard landing stunned her, but the dirt’s snuffed the fire, at least. And she takes off!
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH. BLADES WHIR/INSECT BUZZING, SLIGHTLY MUFFLED.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): She looks spooked, Sunny.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): With a wake-up call like that, who can blame her? I’m guessing we’re going to see a lot of defensive play from our Damsel now.
TALFRYN: (WHISPERING) Sir Angelo! Sir Angelo, can you hear me?
ANGELO: (STRAINED) Indeed, my good fellow. What troubles your mind this— (COUGHING & CHOKING)
TALFRYN: (WHISPERING) Maybe shorter sentences would help, sir.
ANGELO: (STRAINED) Mmm. Yes.
TALFRYN: (WHISPERING) When the nymphs get excited, they stop being able to hold their solid forms. If we’re going to escape—
ANGELO: (STRAINED) By Saint Ferdinand’s forelock, you’re right! We must strike at precisely the moment our captors grow most— (GAGS)
TALFRYN: Excited.
ANGELO: (STRAINED) Mmm. Yes.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): The Damsel’s observing the arena, looking out for any more nasty surprises… only…
Uh, Pit?
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Yeah, Sunny?
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Where are our athletes?
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): I, uh… don’t know.
(CLEARS THROAT) Maybe we’ll just up the audio from the arena.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Let’s.
SOUND: DIAL CLICKING.
Athletes! Attention, athletes! You are not allowed outside the field of play!
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Rule 467b, subsection twelve: if the competitors refuse to compete in the finals for more than two minutes, then both of their teammates are forfeit! That’s as established in Sport Finals Forty-Nine and confirmed in Two Hundred and Twelve, 1,752, and don’t even get me started on 13,298—
DAMIEN (ECHOING): Take this, scoundrel!
SOUND: TWO QUICK SWISH-CLANKS.
MARC (ECHOING): Ha! Ha!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Incredible! The athletes appear to be… dueling! In the middle of the finals!
TALFRYN: Wh… what…?
MUSIC: STARTS.
MARC (ECHOING): Hey, watch it! You nearly took Dampierre’s head off!
SOUND: HORSE SNORT.
DAMIEN (ECHOING): Sir Angelo’s life is too precious – for both myself and the safety of every human in the Citadel. I cannot allow your brotherly affections to doom our home, Marc.
MARC (ECHOING): And I’m not gonna let you trade my brother for some metallic meathead. Ha!
SOUND: SWISH.
DAMIEN (ECHOING): Whoa!
ANGELO: Sir Damien! Stop this at once! It is a knight’s duty to— (CHOKING)
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Look at Marc go with that longsword, Pit! Cutting Sir Damien’s arrows straight out of the air!
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Longest sword I’ve ever seen, that’s for sure. Guess it’d have to be, to get past the four-legged one with the nice—
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Oh, but it looks like the Damsel’s not going to put up with being ignored much longer! And girl, does she look hungry!
SOUND: BLADES WHIR LOUDER, DAMSEL SCREECH, THEN WHIR BACK TO NORMAL.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Another divebomb! The boys ain’t even lookin’!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Marc goes for Sir Damien’s legs…
SOUND: TWO QUICK SWISHES.
MARC (ECHOING): Ha! Ha!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): …and Damien jumps it!
SOUND: STRETCH.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): He goes for the counter shot…
SOUND: SWISH-CLINK.
Marc dodges!
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): An arrow gets the Damsel right in the eye! Amazzzzzzzing!
SOUND: INSECT BUZZING.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): ZZzzzzzzz that’zzzz gotta hurt!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Hive never zeen anything like it!
TALFRYN: Sir Angelo! Can you break free?
ANGELO: (STRAINING) Not… quite…
Uh, Saints, Mistress Budkin is quite the professional. Unflappable!
TALFRYN: (STRAINING) And Pitley’s just… strong! (SIGHS)
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): The charm still holds, and the Damsel is uninjured. But with a retreat that fast, I think anyone can tell she’s spooked!
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): She’zzzz cautious, I’ll tell you that much. Unlike those crazy boys down there! Look at ‘em! Sir Damien on the offensive now, backing Marc up to the Damsel’s chain!
MARC (ECHOING): You’re not– gonna kill my– brother!
DAMIEN (ECHOING): Nor you… the Citadel’s greatest knight! HA!
SOUND: FOUR RAPID SWISH-CLANKS.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): First strike on the chain goes to Sir Damien!
ANGELO: My friend! No!
MARC (ECHOING): (GRUNTS)
SOUND: BLADE SWISH, CLANKS.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Second hit goes to Marc, with the big zzzzwing!
TALFRYN: Sir Marc!
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): And the Damsel gets ready for another attack!
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Those boys had better clear outta there quick!
MARC (ECHOING): You heard the lady, Damien. Clear out.
DAMIEN (ECHOING): And let you cut the chain? Kill my rival? Never.
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH. BLADES WHIR LOUDER, THEN BACK TO NORMAL.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): She’s coming down! Are thozzze boyzzz really gonna do it?
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): A zzztandoff at the chain! ZZzzzzzzZZZZZ good azzzzzZZZzzz dead!
MARC (ECHOING): Dampierre! Ride!
DAMIEN (ECHOING): Saint Damien, your Tranquility…
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH. INSECT BUZZING FADES IN.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Zzere zzshe comezzzzzzzz!
SOUND: GALLOPING.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): (BUZZING)
TALFRYN: Sir Marc!
ANGELO: Sir Damien!
SOUND: CLINK.
MARC (ECHOING): Damien! Now!
DAMIEN (ECHOING): Ha!
SOUND: POP, FLAMES WHOOSH, DAMSEL SCREECH. INSECT BUZZING OVERTAKES EVERYTHING.
DAMIEN (ECHOING): Sir Angelo! Talfryn! You must escape while the nymphs are distracted!
TALFRYN: Sir Angelo, follow me!
SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS, PANTING.
Sir… Angelo?
SOUND: FOOTSTEPS STOP.
ANGELO: (CHOKING)
SOUND: BUZZING FADES OUT. BIRDS CHIRPING.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Well, nymphs, it looks like the final round of our Twenty-Eight Thousand, Nine Hundred and Ninety-Fifth Sport has come to an end!
DAMIEN (ECHOING): (OVER THE BELOW) Impossible! That was the competitive climax of the century!
MARC (ECHOING): (OVER THE ABOVE) How?! Do you even like this game?!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Pitley’s off pollinating her enthusiasm over hill and dale, but Sunny Budkin’s always here to call it like she sees it. One of the losing competitors has left the podium, and so all athletes have been disqualified! But we nymphs know the most important rule of sport, don’t we?
NYMPH CROWD: (CHANTING) Damsel must eat! Damsel must eat! Damsel must eat!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): That’s right! You heard them, Damsel – it’s dinnertime! (WHISTLES)
NYMPH CROWD: (CHEERS)
MARC (ECHOING): She’s bluffing! I never even cut the stupid bug’s chain!
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH, METAL CLINKS.
Ooooooookay, I guess it can just bite the chain off, that’s good to know.
DAMIEN (ECHOING): No! Sir Angelo!
SOUND: DIAL CLICKS.
(FADING OUT) Talfryn, you must do something! You must—
SOUND: SEVERAL QUICK BEEPS.
TALFRYN: What? I have to what?!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): That’s enough audio from the arena, I think. And wow, Sir Damien is not taking this well! It looks like he’s trying to shoot our Damsel again… but those arrows can’t even leave a scratch.
TALFRYN: No!
Sir Angelo! Come on!
ANGELO: (STRAINED) Friend Talfryn… you mustn’t…
TALFRYN: Come on! We have to—
SOUND: PUNCH.
Oof!
PITLEY: Sidelines interference, boy. You aren’t part of this game anymore.
SOUND: BLADES WHIR.
(GRUNTS)
TALFRYN: Woaaaah—
SOUND: THUD.
Oof!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): You’re right on time, Pit.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): You thought I was gonna miss the big finale? Gimme a hunk of that hunk.
ANGELO: Ow!
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): The Damsel’s preparing to charge the podium!
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): But first she’s gonna have to make it past the briar cage, Sunny, and that’s no eas—
SOUND: WOOD SPLINTERS, DAMSEL SCREECH. BLADE WHIRRING STOPS.
Oh! And it’s broken. Thought that Damsel seemed a little big.
NYMPH CROUD: (CHEERS)
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): She’s dazed… she’s shaking herself off, and— (LAUGHS) Those two are fighting! Again!
SOUND: BLADES WHIR.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Really screamin’ at each other, looks like!
SUNNY & PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): (LAUGHING)
TALFRYN: (YELLING) Marc! Stop it!
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Oh, men. What would we do without ‘em, Sunny?
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Watch women kill each other, probably.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Or whoever, am I right?
NYMPH CROWD, SUNNY & PITLEY: (LAUGHING)
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Gal oh gal, violence is fun. And don’t even get me started on—
NYMPH CROWD: (GASPS) Ooooooooooh!
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Can you beat that!
MUSIC: STARTS.
Marc just slapped Sir Damien straight across the face!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): And now he’s riding towards the Damsel! What is he doing?
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Got his sword in the air! (LAUGHS) Like that toothpick’s gonna do anything! (CALLING) She’s charmed, kid! You’re done!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): He’s reaching for something at his belt now, and—
SOUND: FIREBALL WHOOSH.
TALFRYN: (GASPS) Marc!!!
SOUND: TWO QUICK FIREBALL WHOOSHES.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Crazy idiot’s gonna get himself killed!
SOUND: BLADES WHIR LOUDER, THEN BACK TO NORMAL.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Damsel’s angry… she’s descending… she’s right over him!
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Boy’s as good as dead!
TALFRYN: Marc!
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Over any second now. Get ready to make yourselves scarce, ladies, because the final seconds of sport are almost here. And…!
SOUND: BIG FIREBALL WHOOSH. YELLS.
PITLEY (MIC ECHOING): Zzzzzzit can’t! It’zzzzzzzzz never…! Zzzzzzzno prezzzzedent!
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH.
SUNNY (MIC ECHOING): Ladies and more ladies, for your own safety I have to insist that you immediately evacuate—
SOUND: WOOD SPLINTERING. HEAVY CREAKING, FLAMES WHOOSH.
ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.
***
SOUND: BIRDS CHIRPING. RUNNING FOOTSTEPS. DISTANT FLAMES CRACKLING.
TALFRYN: (COUGHING) Sir Marc! Sir Marc, where are you?
DAMIEN: Talfryn! There you are! Have you seen Sir Angelo? Or your brother?
TALFRYN: I haven’t! And that Damsel hit the ground really, really hard. And it was on fire! And it blew up the podium, and—
DAMIEN: Yes, well… that certainly does not look good for either of our compatriots, but… well, there isn’t any need to panic…
SOUND: HOOFBEATS APPROACHING.
His horse! Surely your brother’s noble steed will have found him, and—
SOUND: HORSE SNORT.
DAMIEN: (YELPS) Oh dear…
TALFRYN: Dampierre… but where’s Marc?
ANGELO: (DISTANT, FADING IN OVER THE BELOW) Hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup
TALFRYN: Sir Damien… do you hear that?
DAMIEN: The beating of my heart! Is it so clear to you, dear Talfryn? That in the name of something so petty as sport the bravest, most cunning, most inventive hero of this land should fall, and also your brother—
SOUND: LEAVES RUSTLING.
ANGELO: Ha ha!
MARC: Whoa, Angie, whoa!
TALFRYN: Sir Marc!
DAMIEN: Sir Angelo!
ANGELO: Indeed, indeed! It was a harrowing adventure, but I, Sir Angelo the Strong, bested at last the iron-handed nymph Sunny Budkin as she—
SOUND: HORSE SNORT.
ANGELO: Mmm. Yes. Ah, I bested the—
SOUND: HORSE SNORT.
MARC: Steed jealousy. Looks like piggy-back time is over, Angelo.
ANGELO: Of course.
SOUND: GRUNT, RUSTLING, BUCKLES CLINKING.
Anyway, as I was saying, the great flaming beast rained down from on high, when suddenly—
TALFRYN: But… how did you two survive? And Sir Marc, how did you kill the Damsel? And Sir Damien, why did you stay behind, and why were you two fighting, and—
DAMIEN: A moment, good Talfryn, and I shall attempt to explain. The beast was on fire because—
MARC: No, you gotta start it right. I let it grab me because—
DAMIEN: You dare tell the poet-knight how to recite verse?
MARC: I do when he recites it like that!
TALFRYN: I just want to know what happened?
ANGELO: And I as well, for I too have a tale to share!
DAMIEN: If only there were some objective means, a quaint device that might allow us to review the events of the past, in motions slower than reality.
MARC: Some way to kind of… replay all of that, instantly.
DAMIEN, MARC, TALFRYN, & ANGELO: (IN UNISON) Huh.
SOUND: TAPE REWINDING. CROWD CHEERING. TWO QUICK SWISH-THUNKS.
DAMIEN: Ha! Ha!
SUNNY: (DISTANT, IN BACKGROUND) And wow, Sir Damien is not taking this well! It looks like he’s trying to shoot our Damsel again… but those arrows can’t even leave a scratch!
MARC: Damien, that isn’t working.
SOUND: STRETCH. SWISH-THUNK.
DAMIEN: Ha!
MARC: Damien!
SOUND: STRETCH. SWISH-THUNK.
DAMIEN: Ha!
MARC: We need another plan!
DAMIEN: Like your last plan? Because that’s gone just swimmingly for Sir Angelo, hasn’t it?
MARC: Yeah, kind of like my last plan, except one that works, alright? Come on! Like lives are on the line!
DAMIEN: (DEEP BREATHS) O Saint Damien, you of gentle breeze and—
MARC: This again?! Really?!
DAMIEN: You asked me to act like this was important! Well, this is how! Now be quiet! Hmph!
SOUND: BLADES WHIR. DAMSEL SCREECH.
I beg of you, o Saint, that you may give me the patience to feel the tides of possibility that surround me, to follow the currents as they flow, to—
MARC: Come on, come on…
DAMIEN: I have it! Marc, I will need you to take this satchel of Rilla’s powder and place it by the wall of our thorny cage. I will shoot it with my arrow, and the resulting impact should cause the cage—
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH.
—to ignite! And in fear, the beast will be completely helpless, ready for the slaughter, trapped!
PITLEY: (DISTANT, IN BACKGROUND) But first she’s gonna have to make it past the briar cage, Sunny, and that’s no easy—
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH. WOOD SPLINTERS. WHIRRING STOPS, CROWD CHEERS.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Oh! And it’s broken. Thought that Damsel seemed a little big.
DAMIEN: Or… well so much for, ahem, trapped.
MARC: But… there’s still something to that plan.
That’s it! It’s perfect, perfect!
DAMIEN: What is?
MARC: Remember that big invention I was talking about?
DAMIEN: You did not invent the net!
MARC: Not that one, the big one! Try and keep up, Damien. It’s huge, Damien, absolutely gonna blow you away! And also there’s one more thing about it, just a little guy, nothin’ special.
DAMIEN: Which is what?
MARC: It didn’t work. At all.
SOUND: DISTANT DAMSEL SCREECH.
Until you came up with that idea. Now I’ve got it!
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): (DISTANT, FADING IN OVER THE ABOVE) She’s dazed… she’s shaking herself off, and— (LAUGHS) Those two are fighting! Again!
SOUND: BLADES WHIR.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Really screamin’ at each other, looks like!
SUNNY & PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): (LAUGH)
DAMIEN: But what is it?!
MARC: Suuuuper simple! I’m gonna run after the Damsel through that big hole in the cage, and when I hold my sword straight up in the air, you’ve just gotta shoot it! And there’s only one downside!
DAMIEN: Which is…?
MARC: I’ll probably die! Which you don’t care about, so that means we’re good to go. Alright, so here’s the deal—
DAMIEN: Marc… no.
MARC: Really? You haven’t even heard it yet. Hey, if I die, it’ll be really beautiful. You can probably write, like, half a dozen tunes about it. Eh? Eh?
DAMIEN: No. I will not allow you to go out there planning your own death, Marc. Because Rilla—
MARC: ‘Cause Rilla would be mad at you? Is that it?
DAMIEN: No, I—
MARC: Geez, Damien, seems like the stakes right now are a little higher than—
DAMIEN: It is not because of how Rilla might feel, Marc, though her misery may be my misery. It is because… (SIGHS) She sees something in you. Respects you. And as much as it is a convenient fiction for me to imagine that you’ve manipulated her tender, womanly heart to get there…
…that is not who Rilla is.
MARC: Yeah? And you’re so convinced by that, now? You try to kill me this whole game and suddenly, poof, we’re good?
DAMIEN: I—
There are hidden worlds within each of us, Marc. Worlds we hide out of shame or bravado or… because we don’t even know they exist, yet. It has occurred to me that those without them, those whose desires are truly so simple, so thoughtless as I’ve made yours seem…
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Oh, men. What would we do without ‘em, Sunny?
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Watch women kill each other, probably.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Or whoever, am I right?
SUNNY & PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): (LAUGH)
NYMPH CROWD: (CHEERS)
DAMIEN: They’re… nothing. Just hunger given form and words, snapping at whatever comes by. If Rilla respects you, then you must not be one of their number. And yet I think both you and I came very, very close to joining them today.
MARC: That’s… really thoughtful, Damien. Kinda beautiful, too.
DAMIEN: Yes; yes, well, I am a poet—
SOUND: SMACK.
Ow!
NYMPH CROWD: (GASPS) Ooooooooooh!
MUSIC: STARTS.
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Can you beat that! Marc just slapped Sir Damien straight across the face!
DAMIEN: What was– why?!
MARC: Just trying to remind you that you don’t like me, so you won’t feel bad about shooting at me in a minute. Ride, Dampierre!
SOUND: GALLOPING.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): (IN BACKGROUND) And now he’s riding towards the Damsel! What is he doing?
DAMIEN: Marc, you… you!
MARC: And one other thing! Don’t call me Salamander anymore! Call me Salamander Knight, instead. Because next time you do…
SOUND: BLADE UNSHEATHING.
This is what you’re going to be thinking about!
SOUND: DAMSEL SCREECH.
Dampierre, after that big gross bug!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Got his sword in the air! (LAUGHS) Like that toothpick’s gonna do anything! She’s charmed, kid! You’re done!
MARC: Give me some time to prep it, and I’ll turn any toothpick into your worst nightmare, nymph!
(QUIETLY) Alright, we still got a little time while she’s accelerating. Put on the safety gauntlet, check. Apply the firestarter oil, check. Aaand piss off the big man-eating bug. Ha!
SOUND: POP.
NYMPH CROWD: (GASPS)
SOUND: FIREBALL WHOOSH.
MARC: Yeah, you like that?
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): (DISTANT, IN BACKGROUND) Crazy idiot’s gonna get himself killed!
MARC: Ha!
SOUND: POP.
Ha!
SOUND: POP, FLAMES WHOOSHING. BLADES WHIR LOUDER, THEN BACK TO NORMAL.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): (DISTANT, IN BACKGROUND) Damsel’s angry… she’s descending… she’s right over him!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): Boy’s as good as dead!
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): (IN BACKGROUND) Over any second now. Get ready to make yourselves scarce, ladies, because the final seconds of sport are almost here. And…!
MARC: (OVER THE ABOVE) She’s coming towards us! Dampierre, get ready! And sword up!
SOUND: BLADE UNSHEATHING.
(CALLING) Come on, Damien, shoot my sword. Shoot it!
SOUND: SWISH-THUNK, CLINK. POP, BIG FIREBALL. DISTANT DAMSEL SCREECH.
Ha ha, yes! Alright, Damsel! Eat my Salamander Sword! (GRUNTS)
SOUND: METAL SCRAPE. DAMSEL SCREECH.
Yes, yes, YES!
SOUND: DAMSEL LONG SCREECH. WOOD SPLINTERING.
Uh-oh. OK, get out of the way, get— (PAINED YELLS)
SOUND: HEAVY CREAKING, FLAMES WHOOSHING. SFX & MUSIC FADE OUT, FOREST AMBIANCE FADES IN.
MARC: So, then I broke my saddle-clasps, and got knocked into the rubble, and screamed a lot, and, basically the point is I’m the hero of the story.
DAMIEN: And?
MARC: And, all that stuff you said about worlds hidden inside people is dumb, because I always said I was the hero and now, look, here I am. Seems like you were just wrong, pretty much.
DAMIEN: Hmph!
TALFRYN: Sir Damien, what a plan! And Sir Marc, I can’t believe… that’s so cool!!!
MARC: Ah, next time I’d rather not have to get shot at to make it work, so, there are a few kinks but… (CHUCKLES) Yeah, it totally was.
TALFRYN: Wow!
DAMIEN: Yes, it’s… very impressive.
And the shot I made was nearly impossible.
ANGELO: Yes, yes, that’s all very exciting. But Sir Angelo, too, had his share of adventure, and now he shall share it! It all began with the creature raining from the sky in flames—
MUSIC: STARTS.
Of all the…?! What now! I am trying to tell a tale, you—
SOUND: BUZZING FADES IN.
Oh, dear.
TALFRYN: Not again!
MARC: That’s impossible! There’s nobody left in there!
SUNNY: BzzzzzZI’ve never heard of a game like this before, Pit.
PITLEY: Zzzzzme neither, Sunny – me neither. It’s a damn shame, you ask me. An insult to sport, letting four cheaters run off scot-free.
SOUND: BUZZING STOPS.
SUNNY: It’s a good thing our rulebook’s so flexible, isn’t it, Pitley?
PITLEY: Only natural, Sunny. Used to be we had to wait for a new Damsel to grow up. Used to be we had to wait a thousand years between games, and if the rules ain’t flexible… well, wouldn’t want a thousand years of waiting to end with four half-wits slipping through a loophole, eh? That’s a mistake you only make once.
SUNNY: So what do you say we make a new rule now, Pitley?
PITLEY: I say I like that idea a lot, Sunny. A whole lot.
DAMIEN: We bested your game, Nymphs! We have thrilled you, entertained you, and danced where you have asked us! Now let us go on our way!
PITLEY: Howsabout this: if all four athletes get caught cheating…
SUNNY: …then we make them play again. From the beginning.
TALFRYN: That’s… a lie! You’re lying! You just said it takes a thousand years for the Maneater Damselfly to mature.
SOUND: BUZZING FADES IN.
ANGELO: The soft one is correct! You have no beast for us to best! And it is improper for a woman to lie!
DAMIEN: Sir Angelo, I do not think we should still be—
ANGELO: And, it is also improper for a man to lie, and for bees to lie! In summary, I would request that everyone stop lying!
PITLEY: You get us started, Sunny. I’ll show them the lie.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Lllllladies and more ladies! Nymphs from the palm to the cacao, who tango in the mangroves and salsa in the balsas, welcome… to…
PITLEY: (HISSING) Sunny!! The Chrysalis Cloth! It’s gone. I can’t find it anywhere!
NYMPH CROWD: (GASPS)
MARC: The, uhhh… what?
MUSIC: ENDS.
SUNNY: Where did you put it?
PITLEY: It was– it was– it was in my combs, where I always put it—
SUNNY: You’re sure? You checked?
PITLEY: You’re lookin’ at ‘em right now, Budkin, so where the hell is it?
SUNNY: You lost it?!
PITLEY: I never lose anything! You’ve known me thirty thousand years, have I ever lost anything?
SUNNY: I… I… I-I, I… (BREAKS DOWN SOBBING)
PITLEY: (SOBBING)
SOUND: BUZZING GETS LOUDER.
MARC: Sooo, do we just slip away while they’re distracted, or…?
DAMIEN: It looks as though they may be slipping on their own.
ANGELO: My, that is a… lot of bugs.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Ladies and more ladies, tragedy has zzzzzztruck! The Chrysalis Cloth, our treasure which brought uzzzz such joy, which zzzwaddled our damzzzelzz and made them grow zzo-zzo quickly, it’zzz gone!
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): It wazzzZZzz those piggies! Thozzzzzze zzweet-talking piggies, played the bezzt damn zzport I’ve ever zzzeen and we let em have thozze humanzzzz’ bonezz and they zztill szzzzzztolezzzzzzzzz…
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): Our days of weekly zport are at an end!! Gone, our thrillzzz, gone, our livelihood, gone, our reazzon for life!
TALFRYN: It’s… just a game.
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): We’ll zzee you in a thouzzand yearzzz, Nymphzzz! I’m Zunny Budkin…
PITLEY (FROM MICROPHONE): ZzzzzzzzZZzzzzzZZzzz…
SUNNY (FROM MICROPHONE): And zzzzzziss… wazzzzzz… zzzzzport!
SOUND: BUZZING FADES OUT. FOREST AMBIANCE.
DAMIEN: (CLEARS THROAT) Well.
Marc? Talfryn? Will you be joining us on the remainder of our quest?
MARC: Really?
DAMIEN: This is clearly dangerous land. You, Talfryn, understand it better than Sir Angelo and me. And Marc…
With the threats ahead, I think we could use a Salamander Knight of your caliber.
ANGELO: Sir Damien!
MARC: Nope, nope. It’s fine. I think poet-boy finally gets it.
Tal, give them your horse. You’re going to ride on Dampierre with me.
SOUND: HORSE SNORT.
MARC: Yeah, well, we already wasted a lot of time, okay? Rilla’s still out there. We still have to save…
DAMIEN: That doesn’t sound quite as heroic anymore, does it?
MARC: Yeah, there’s definitely already something wrong with that.
ANGELO: Leaves rather a bad taste, I think.
DAMIEN: Come, Sir Angelo. Let us find Talfryn’s steed.
SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.
MARC: Day full of surprises, huh, bud?
TALFRYN: Yeah.
MARC: But hey! At least we got to look at some cute ladies all day, right? That’s not so bad, right?
TALFRYN: Rrright.
MARC: Did you like any of them? (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) Well. Let’s go, Dampierre.
MUSIC: STARTS.
TALFRYN: Hey, Marc?
MARC: Yeah, Tal?
TALFRYN: I don’t think I like damsels.
MARC: You… what?
(NERVOUS LAUGH) I’m guessing you don’t mean the bugs?
TALFRYN: No.
MARC: So…
Guys, then?
TALFRYN: No. I don’t like men, or women, or bugs… or anybody. Not that way.
MARC: Huh. No joke? No interest at all?
Sounds… kinda nice, actually.
TALFRYN: I think it’s going to be. Now that you know.
Uh, Marc? Is everything alright?
MARC: What? Oh, y-yeah, of course it is, obviously. I was just thinking that… I mean, I know you better than anybody, and I still didn’t… it’s, just…
Hey, Tal? Can I ask you a favor?
TALFRYN: Of course!
MARC: Keep surprising me, willya? I think… I think it’s good for me.
TALFRYN: Sure, I’ll try, but… I think that’s kind of your responsibility too.
MARC: Huh. Yeah. Yeah, it probably is.
Thanks. Love you, bud.
TALFRYN: I love you too, Marc.
MUSIC: ENDS.
***
SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.
CONDUCTOR: If you’ve enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you’ll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actors Kristie Norris and Allison Choat, and co-creator Kevin Vibert:
SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.
ALLISON: …dominance, obsession with sports, objectifying members of the opposite sex, like I think these are all things that, like, stereotypically in our culture we might say are assigned to the non-female gender. And, Sunny and Pitley get to enjoy them, for… two hours at least.
KRISTIE: It’s also fun that we get to turn the idea of like, uh, preconceived notions of nymphs around as well, because normally nymphs are the highly sexualized beings, that like, mortal men- yeah…
ALLISON: (OVERLAPPING WITH ABOVE) Right, like running from gods and getting turned into trees or whatever…
SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.
CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.
We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Camille Blanton, Rowan Collins, Garrett M, Jay Iannuzzelli, Karin Z-H, Canteloupe, Fiona Parker, Regan, Ko, Kim Zeugin, Atha Lang, Vron, Charlie Spiegel, Minchowski, and Jaimie Gunter for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.
Did you know that The Penumbra has merchandise for sale? It’s true! The Penumbra has partnered with DFTBA to bring you the posters, shirts, and pins your heart desires. Just go to dftba.com and search for The Penumbra Podcast.
This tale, The Sportive Nymphs, was told by the following people: Stefano Perti as Sir Marc, Jason Mellin as Talfryn, Matthew Zahnzinger as Sir Damien, M Sutherland as Sir Angelo, Kristie Norris as Sunny Budkin, and Allison Choat as Pitley.
The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert. If you wish to know more about our ever-expanding, infinitely-creative team of artists, musicians, editors, designers, and managers, you can read about them in the show notes of this episode.
I’m afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.
ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.
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jordanandjay · 6 years ago
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Monster next door.
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Request: Can I get a one shot where Bryce and the Reader are best friends (like how he was with Justin). She’s on the tapes too after Bryce’s tape but no one could bring themselves to give them to her. So she listens to the tapes when Clay releases them. Then she gets super angry with Bryce. You can do whatever you feel with that. Thank you(:
A/n: I get that most people don’t like when writers write about Bryce/ Monty. So if you feel uncomfortable by this then go a head and either skip this, unfollow me or block me.🤷🏽‍♀️ I’m not at all supporting the character.
“Words like this is what Hannah is saying on the tape.”
Italics stand for flashbacks.
(B/n) stands for brothers name.
Warnings: Mentions of Rape, Suicide, Violence, & Swearing
—————————————————————
“My life was just like a train, the straight path was bullshit, rumors, and failed friendships. The occasional turns were the brief moments of happiness I felt. Until the railings had to go straight again which resulted in the train wreck at the end. With that being said I welcome you to tape 13. Enter (Y/n) (L/n).
—————————————————————
‘To: Justin F.🤞🏽❤️
Hey Justin. It’s (Y/n)...again. Could you just text me or something? Let me know your okay buddy? I really miss you. Your still my best friend so if you ever need me, I’ll be here. No matter what. Love you Foley.❤️’
You sighed lightly to yourself as you sent the text knowing very well you wouldn’t get an answer, again. Justin had completely disappeared with out so much as saying a goodbye which hurt more than you would’ve thought it would. “Hey sis! I’m ready for school!” Your seven year old brother said snapping you back into reality.
“Bryce isn’t taking you guys to school today?” Your mother asked looking just as confused as your little brother. “No. He had to make a baseball meeting early today so I’m just gonna take us. Ready (B/n)?” You said grabbing your backpack slinging it over your shoulder.
—————————————————————
“Every school has their it girl. You were exactly that, but so much more.You were a friend to everyone, nerds, goths, preps, troubled kids, and me. You were kind. You are a literal ray of light here at a prison like Liberty High. A light that gets dimmed out by the shadows she surrounds herself with. When I first got to Liberty High I wanted a friendship like the one you, Bryce and Justin had. You were all ready to take a bullet for eachother something I couldn’t understand. Maybe that’s how friendships work, how would I know. How could someone so evil be friends with someone so pure like you? I gathered what little courage I had walking all the way to your doorsteps that was next to Bryce’s house. I was determined on letting you know that your best friend was a monster. That there was a monster next door.”
—————————————————————
You walked awkwardly in the hallways not sure of how to exactly react to everyone who was staring at you. Not the usual ‘oh hey it’s (y/n)’ type of stares, these were stares of pity. You walked through the dead silent hallways which definitely made you shiver. You quickly walked to your locker which was next to Bryce’s.
“Hey there kiddo’.. What’s wrong?” Monty said bringing you into a side hug which is how you two usually greeted one another. “People are staring more than often are they not?” You murmured under your breath while Monty left his arm around your shoulder.
“They uh. Must’ve heard about Bryce and Chloe. They’re going through a rough patch right now is all. No need to worry.” Monty said ruffling your hair playfully before dragging you both off to class. “H-Hey slow down you brainless jerk!” You shouted as you tried to keep up with his long strides.
Scott sighed to himself seeing you smiling brightly. He knew if he told you the truth that smile would never be the same ever again. Was knowing the truth really going to break you as bad as he thought it would.
—————————————————————
“Funny thing about courage. I didn’t have any of it while I was alive. I had stood at your doorsteps until the sun went down and it began to rain. I had failed. I turned back ready to go home in defeat when you opened the door. I stared at you not sure of what to say if you asked what I was doing at your house. Instead you invited me inside with that welcoming smile of yours. That’s just the type of person you are (Y/n). You were a friend that I so desperately needed.”
—————————————————————
A ten year old girl sat alone reading a comic book of Iron Man in the corner. Her (E/c) eyes were completely fixated on the superhero who was kicking ass. She didn’t even notice the boy who sat next to her and also began reading. “Woah. Tony Stark’s a badass huh?”
The small girl jumped turning to the blonde haired boy who smiled to the girl. “Don’t scare me like that!” She whispered to the boy who giggled slightly. “Sorry about that I just didn’t want to bother you. I’m more of a Captain America guy myself. Your an Iron Man fan?” He said as she nodded her head. “Yup! Iron Man and Spider-Man!” She said. “Captain America and Thor!”
The two of them must’ve talked for what felt like forever. They both had lost track of time before realizing they had to go home. “I live up the street from here.” He said carrying the stack of comics which belonged to Spider-Man. “I do too! Wanna walk together?” She said carrying the stack of comics which were Thor.
The two walked home side by side still raving about their favorite super heroes. That is until they stopped infront of a white luxurious home. “Well! This is me.” The (H/c) girl said while the boy smiled from ear to ear. “What no way! I’m right next door! I never got your name.” He said excitedly now that he had a friend.
“My names (Y/n) (L/n).”
“My names Bryce Walker.”
—————————————————————
“The entire night I spent laughing with your amazing family. Your father was intimidating turns out he’s a complete dork, just like you are. Your mother was literally an angel of every religion combined into one to be this absolute goddess, like you as well. Your little brother was a kind, gentle boy. He looked up to you and Bryce which made me fear what kind of man he’d become in a couple of years. As I walked through your luxurious household I couldn’t help but notice every picture that hung on the walls. Most of them you were in were with Justin and Bryce. One in particular caught my eye. You were on Bryce’s back getting a piggy back ride both of you with the brightest smiles I’d ever seen either of you wear. I then realized. I couldn’t do it. How could I take away something that important like that from you. He was a monster but he made you happy. Ironic right? We’re both thinking of the same person with one feeling hate while the other feeling love.
—————————————————————
You walked into the cafeteria while all eyes seemed to fall on you yet again. You glanced over to the group that was your friends now seeing Bryce there. You’d felt relived to see he seemed to be doing okay. You walked over taking a seat next to Scott who was silent , and infront of Bryce. “Hey there Bryce. (B/n) missed you this morning.”
“Hey there kiddo’! I missed both you guys this morning. Just come over later and we’ll all hang in the pool house.” Bryce said making Monty groan loudly in annoyance. “Aww man now we have to play baby sitter.” Both you and Bryce looked over to Monty both speaking at the same time. “Fuck you Monty!”
“Well I just wanted to check in before I left. I’m gonna be in the library I got to study. So I’ll see you guys later.” You said gathering your belongings taking Bryce’s Gatorade. “What? You just got here I haven’t seen you all day.” Bryce said as you walked over to give him a proper goodbye. “I already said I’d be going over later today.” You said giving Bryce a hug which he gladly returned.
“Aww man. Why does Bryce get a full on hug and I get side hugs? Saving a special kiss for me?” Monty said while you made your way over to him while he puckered his lips. Bryce narrowed his eyes at Monty in either anger or irritation. “Sure Monty when you learn how to spell toothbrush. See you guys later!” You said hugging Monty around his head before walking off to the library.
Scott never spoke to you which really came as a shock to you. He was always going out of his way to just say hello. Yet he couldn’t even look you in the eyes today.
—————————————————————
“You kindly drove me home, even giving me a jacket saying I needed to stay warm. Small acts like that just go to prove what a kind and gentle person you are (Y/n). I didn’t have the courage to tell you what that your best friend did to me. In a hot tub I’m sure you two grew up playing in. A few yards away from a house you and your warm kind family called home. But, like I said before courage is a funny thing.”
—————————————————————
You were on the floor reading a text book you needed for calculus. Until someone came and sat in front of you sounding like they were running. You rose your head to see Scott looking at you apologetically. “H-Hey Scotty you okay?” You said closing your text book while he took out his phone.
“(Y/n). I need to confess something to you and I just want you to sit there and listen okay?” Scott said making you nod your head softly. “Hannah made tapes explaining why she did what she did. They were released last night which is why everyone was staring at you. You need to listen to them please. Go somewhere and listen to them alone.” Scott said watching your expression fall.
“There was no practice this morning. Bryce called us in to warn us not to tell you but I’m tiered of people looking at me like I’m a pig. So could you please just listen.” Scott said before sending you the audio files. He leaned forward hugging you softly which you returned before getting up and walking away leaving you shocked.
“I had no courage when I was alive to really do anything. Yet thinking of death has given me courage I never knew I had. So with this newly found courage. I, Hannah Baker am warning you (Y/n) (L/n). Bryce Walker is responsible for the rape of two girls. One of them is me the other well.. you’ll just have to ask.”
—————————————————————
“My life was just like a train, the straight path was bullshit, rumors, and failed friendships. The occasional turns were the brief moments of happiness I felt. Clay was one of my brief moment of happiness. You (Y/n) (L/n) were my second brief moment of happiness. You (Y/n) do not belong on this list. But if I’m going to tell my story I need to tell it all. (Y/n) you were one of the two reasons I was considering to not to kill myself in the end. I never got the chance to say it properly, but now’s a good of time as any. So thank you (Y/n). For everything.”
—————————————————————
Everyone was staring at you just like they were earlier that day. These weren’t looks of pity, they were looks of shock. Your eyes were as red from the crying you’d done in the library alone. You could’ve saved Hannah. You let Hannah down. You felt disappointed in yourself. If you hadn’t fell asleep in the pool house with Alex and Montgomery maybe you could’ve stopped Bryce.
“Yo! Kidd..(Y/n)? You good?” Bryce said as you marched towards him with hot tears of anger still falling from your (E/c) eyes. You clenched your hand tightly making a small fist. As soon as you were close enough you pulled your hand all the way back slamming it right in between Bryce’s eyebrows and upper nose.
“Woah! (Y/n)!”
“What the fuck!”
“Stop it!”
The group you once considered your friends said pulling you back. “Let me go rapist!!” You shouted loudly as you began punching all of them. They all backed away in shock of not only being called a rapist but at you swinging at them. “What the fuck (Y/n)?!” Bryce said as he clenched onto his disfigured nose.
Monty wrapped his arms around you hugging onto you tightly restricting your arms under his. “Let me go! Let me go now you stupid BITCH!” You shouted while jumping trying to free yourself. “What’s wrong!” Bryce said placing his hands on either side of your shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” A young Bryce asked as you wiped the tears from your (E/c) eyes. “Nothing really Bryce. I just.. I don’t have any friends.” Bryce stared you you while you continued crying like a baby. He got on his knees to sit in front of you wiping away the tears from your face. “Well I’m your friend now right? No need to worry. Well be friends forever. Like Steve and Bucky.” Bryce said offering you a hand up off the ground.
Tears of sadness filled your eyes staring into Bryce’s. You began to question where did that little boy that helped you that day go? Had he died long before Hannah had even gotten to Liberty High. Where did your Bryce Walker go?
You jumped up as high as you could slamming your feet onto Bryce’s face making him shout out in pain. “Fuck you! I want my Bryce! MY BRYCE NOT THIS FUCKING RAPIST!!” You shouted as you continued slamming your feet on his head which was now lowered. Monty turned you towards the lockers which you used as an advantage. You placed your feet on the locker using them to jump, flipping you and Monty over with him landing on the back of his head harshly.
You ran towards Bryce bringing your hands to the back of his head pulling him towards your knee slamming them together repeatedly. “Give me Bryce! My Bryce! My Bryce! My Bryce! My Bryce!” You screamed through a cracked voice as you continued crying.
“Like Steve and Bucky.” Bryce said through a toothy grin still with his hand extended.
People stood back watching your rage take over you. That is until one person came to stop you. The only one other than Bryce who could get you out of this murder like state.
“(Y/n). That’s enough.” You let Bryce drop to the floor when you turned to see your other best friend who disappeared months ago. “Justin?” You asked as you stared at him silently. He offered you a soft smile and open arms. You ran towards him already crying like a child. “I know. Come on (Y/n) were going home.” Justin said as he picked you up off the ground carrying you to your car.
You wrapped your arms around him sobbing loudly while he, Tony and Clay drove to his new home. “Our Bryce is gone.” You whispered before clenching onto Justin tightly. “Yeah. But I’m back and I’m not leaving anytime soon.” Justin said as he stroked the back of your head softly.
Bryce watched painfully with blood falling from his eye, nose, and lip. Your Bryce might’ve been dead but at least you still had your Justin.
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monstersdownthepath · 6 years ago
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Unusual Bogeymen
Everyone knows about the bogeyman–the nasty monster that gobbles up disobedient children. Every culture in the world has them, in so many shapes and sizes that listing all of them would take a library and a half. Some families even have personal bogeymen, creatures made up on the spot by parents wanting their children to behave, which sometimes spread from the original family and into the population’s collective consciousness.
Like many things on Golarion and beyond, stories have a power all their own. The wild imaginations of young children are a potent source of fuel and fire for wild magic looking for a purpose, but especially the magic of the First World, where enough people believing something to be true makes it so. In areas of Golarion where the barrier between the Material Plane and the First World are thin, sometimes the stories of these bogeyman creep into the land of the fey and take on a life of their own as monstrous creatures, some of which even make it into the Material Plane from time to time.
Creatures like….
Lakanak, also known as Clack-Clack, the Lake Clacker, Snapper, and other such titles depending on the location. Stories of Lakanak first spread via secondhand ‘friend-of-a-friend’ tales regarding an incident in which a monstrous crab burst from a lake and devoured an unlucky traveler; horse, cart, and all. Lakanak quickly became a cautionary tale against going near deep waters while alone, and was used to scare children away from the shorelines... A little too effectively, as it turned out, and soon fishermen hoping for their children to learn their trade found the young’ns were too scared to, from their viewpoint, get within reach of the hungry crab’s claws. 
Eventually the story began to evolve, Lakanak becoming something of a coward. Used to being the biggest creature in the lakes or ponds it calls home, it becomes mortally terrified of any being larger than itself, with the parents of the lectured child confirming that they just so happen to be taller than the hungry creature. Thankfully, this more popular version of the legend was the one given life by the First World, and the CR 5 Lakanak is cursed with an unfortunate Fear of Giants, causing it to become increasingly panicked when confronted by anyone over 6 feet tall before eventually fleeing the area altogether.
Lakanak’s monstrous appetite can see it snapping up just about anything it can fit into its mouth, but it also means it can be easily tricked or bypassed with bribes of food. In one popular children’s story, a trio of young boys manages to escape an encounter with the ravenous crustacean by way of a Three Billy Goat’s Gruff charade, each one promising a greater and greater feast if only Lakanak would allow them to pass by. In some darker versions of the story, this is what eventually inspired the beast to devour an entire traveler’s cart, as the cart passed by just minutes after the boys did, and the true Lakanak cannot be tricked with promises of food to come... But it’s still ever the sucker for delicious treats that are already here and being offered to it, allowing even the plumpest of children to leave if it’s sufficiently appeased with easier, less-screamy meals.
Granny Nose, also known Granny Schnozz, Granny Mudfoot, the Hogmother, or simply Mudfoot, is one of many creatures used to spook lazy children into activity. Blind and deaf but tall as a tree and strong as an ox, Granny Nose’s most notable feature is her namesake sniffer, which is so comically enormous that she looks like a scythe if viewed from the side. One honking snort (sometimes exaggerated to the point of being strong enough to rip trees from their roots) lets her smell the whole area for miles around, a valuable tool for finding her “lost piggies.”
Clad in thoroughly-befouled burlap but for a wide-brimmed straw hat on her head, Granny Nose’s worn trappings are kept in place by countless ropes, each of which are connected to the necks of at least a dozen snuffling hogs that constantly churn the earth around her, coating her in dirt, mud, and muck. Ever hungry but never the smartest of women, Granny will wolf down entire swines whole and alive and then subsequently forget that she did so, and will embark on a quest to find her now “missing pig.” And guess what messy, filthy children who refuse their baths just so happen to smell like to the blind old crone, whose deaf ears can’t tell a child’s shouts of protest from the squealings of a runaway hog? In some versions of the legend, the Granny will use wicked magic to transmute filthy children into hogs to be eaten later, while sometimes it’s the ropes themselves with the magical polymorphing power. In still others, Granny Nose will simply tie the children to her, so tightly they can never break free, forced to live among the muddy, messy, snuffling pigs until Granny becomes hungry again.
Granny Nose is popular among produce farmers more than any other bogeymen, because as it turns out, it just so happens that Granny Nose cannot stand the smell of corn, or apples, or carrots, or whatever the current year’s crop is, prompting the young layabouts to help sew and care for the crops if only to keep the crone from drawing too closely. She also comes in handy for livestock farmers, especially with ones with hogs of their own, to explain to their too-young children just why some pigs went missing (”Granny thought they were hers”), at least until the child is old enough to see for themselves where the pigs are going. Even the wealthier areas of the world benefit from the tales of the Hogmother, who can apparently also be repelled by the smells of sweet and healthy flowers from the parent’s lovely garden that they so wish their child would help them care for, because it’s the only thing keeping that nasty crone at bay, you see...
The incarnated form of Granny Nose is a CR 9 encounter, a hag-like being with monstrous strength, an unbearably awful stink around her, and a crowd of hungry hogs that will eagerly nip and gnaw on anything that gets in reach of their mouths. Blind and deaf like her storybook counterpart, her sense of smell is so acute that it grants her an enormous blindsight radius that can grow even larger if she takes a round to sniff her surroundings, her tremendous inhalations and exhalations capable of imitating a few windy spells as she does so.
The Heckler, also known as Heckleton, Hackleton, Wraps, Bundler, or the Raggedy Man, is a horror sometimes whispered to be an unspeakably hideous being beneath the layers and layers and layers of filthy, bloodstained cloth that wrap endlessly around it. The Heckler sometimes carries a bloody sack slung over its shoulder, its free hand holding (or replaced by) a set of rusty but deadly sharp shears, shears sharp enough that they can slice bones like butter, and only get sharper with each use. And they get used a lot.
Heckleton collects fingers, you see, but not just any fingers; It desires only the softest, smoothest, most beautiful fingers for its grisly collection, and will gleefully snap them one by one from the layabouts with uncalloused hands that refuse to lift, move, or work anything. The Heckler is a popular bogeyman in towns where most of the jobs available are grueling manual labor, whose workers end up with worn down, scarred, and generally beaten up hands that the bogeyman despises so. Children are taught quickly to work ‘till they start getting blisters and callouses, as it’s surely the only way to disgust the shears-wielding psychopath. In gentler areas with less need for child labor, the Heckler still finds its place, though its desires completely switch and end up with it coming for hands and fingers that haven’t been properly washed, cared for, for fingers with untrimmed nails, or for hands that became too dirty when playing outside.
Rather than snipping all of them off at once, the Heckler will instead take them one at a time, coming back once each night to take a new finger, all the while chiding its victim with taunts of “lazy, lazy, laaaaazy” in a voice that sounds just as rusty and horrible as its shears. Often, adults who’ve indeed lost fingers to the perils of their work will claim to have been visited by the Heckler in their youth and immediately changed their ways. Such lies are awfully cruel, but the true Heckler, a CR 10 Fey-Aberration horror armed with a set of +1 Cruel (of course) Ominous Shears, is even crueler. Due to the paradox inherent in the “farmlands” Heckler desiring soft, clean fingers and the “city” Heckler desiring scarred, dirty ones, the incarnated Heckler desires all fingers, and will cut them from the corpses of victims it manages to scare to death, either through its frightening aura or showing off the unfathomably terrifying visage hidden beneath its rags.
The Plucker, sometimes known as Pucker, is a warning against wandering eyes. There’s nothing the Plucker craves more than wandering eyes, eyes which have seen things they shouldn’t, eyes that have read things they shouldn’t, and hunts them down like a dog chasing a squirrel. The Plucker’s secondary name comes from its most common appearance, as a painfully gaunt, human-shaped aberration with its lips drawn into a comically intense pucker. The Plucker has no eyes of its own, having long since torn them out and eaten them after reading from a wicked book (some parents will mention specific books, but it’s generally left ambiguous), its intense pucker the result of the force it expended swallowing down everything it had seen.
Though, in some more gruesome tales, the Pucker’s pucker isn’t a true pucker at all, but only looks like it. The reality is that its mouth is surrounded by fingers or even tentacles that it keeps partially tucked in its throat, their curled form making it seem like a pucker, up until it needs to scoop some eyes from some heads.
The Plucker began as a tale to warn children away from curiously perusing wicked literature sometimes placed before them by mischief-making fiends, but in some parts of the world it’s used to scare children away from any literature at all, save for ones their parents (or the local church) allow. In still others, it’s used as a more generalized bogeyman that hunts peeping children at night, going after the foolish waifs who’ve stayed up past their bedtime and plucking out their eyes if it finds them. In its stories, the Plucker can sometimes be confounded simply by keeping one’s eyes closed, but in others, the additional security of a blanket is needed to perplex the blind horror, who can see through the eyes of others and is easily thwarted if its victim simply covers their eyes in some fashion, both re-blinding the creature and stopping it from taking their eyes.
The incarnated Plucker is not fooled by blankets. It is a CR 13 nightmare that wields considerable occult power collected from all over the world. In addition to its fearsome spellcasting, the Plucker is supernaturally terrifying to all who see its pale, emaciated form, inducing an intense terror that only grows worse when it unfolds the nightmarish tendrils from its mouth or feeds on an unlucky victim. Its latching claws are laced with a paralytic poison that renders its victims unable to resist as it gulps down their eyes, and it can smell “forbidden” knowledge lurking in the eyes of those who’ve seen too much, allowing it to track specific prey even if they know to shut their eyes and make both themselves and the horror blind to one another. What “forbidden” knowledge the Plucker hungers for, exactly, is generally up to the DM, but it usually entails knowledge of the lower planes that can only be found in obscure tomes one needs a hefty bribe to even know about, let alone see... Though, in general, the Plucker will take any eyes it can get its facial tendrils around, only seeking out specific, especially-delicious, especially-tainted eyes if the opportunity arises. Regardless of if they’re tainted with horrible knowledge or not, any eye the Plucker consumes restores a portion of its expended spells for the day, though tainted eyes restore considerably more.  
Bitter Beans, also known as Uncle or Aunt Bitters, is the least of the bogeymen, among the most harmless and humorous, though it’s not exactly funny for the children tormented by the creature. Standing at two feet in height, Bitter Beans has a body made of gnarled, ugly wood, with a gnarled, ugly face (the gender varies from region to region), and a single, large hole in its backside. In polite society, the hole is instead on the back of its head, opposite to its face.
The stories of Bitter Beans originated from a small island where they do, indeed, grow pungent, black beans that taste incredibly foul if eaten directly, but make for a fine coffee. Bitter Beans was invented to punish children who never cleaned their plates, the nasty little fey inviting itself into people’s homes and eating all the leftovers before leaving behind a mass of... Er, bitter beans, fresh from the hole on its rear (or the back of its head, as mentioned). Bitter Beans would quickly begin to eat the food of the ungrateful child before it even got to the table, leaving behind nothing but a plate of steaming, foul-smelling, incredibly bitter beans for the child to stare at, the parents “none the wiser” to the foul switch until it gets explicitly pointed out.
In areas of the world where Bitter Beans’ namesake beans aren’t common enough to punish children with, the fey is instead referred to as Aunt or Uncle Bitters, and its leavings are always the grossest, most undesirable portions of whatever it got to eat before. A child didn’t eat their broccoli one night? Well, such a shame, because “we’re having steak tonight... And oops, it looks like Uncle Bitters got to it first, leaving you with nothing but the fat and some bones.” At least once Bitter Beans eats its fill of one meal, it’s full for a full day and a half, giving the child another chance to clean their plate the night after their skipped dinner so Bitter Beans has nothing to eat and leaves.
The incarnated Bitter Beans is a lowly CR 2 monster that forces its way into people’s homes and squats there until chased out, harmless aside from its ability to project various nauseating odors, and the Filth Fever that can result from getting pelted with its bitter beans. It is, though, obnoxiously swift and has the ability to turn invisible a few times a day in order to sneak food right off of people’s plates or escape a confrontation. Above all that, Bitter Beans a coward and a glutton, and will always choose to flee from a fight than risk harm. There are always easier houses to prey on, filled with uncleaned plates and delicious next-day dinners.
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stripesthesupervillain · 6 years ago
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DCULSS Chapter 3.5: Piggy
This took way longer and was way more lengthy than originally intended. That’s cool, though. At least I got it out. Anyshoe, this is a bit of a break from my third chapter of DCULSS, and surprisingly, it’s not a shitpost. If anything, it’s a SHIPpost, seeing as I hadn’t realized I was into this pairing until I was writing last chapter’s scene with the two together, despite the fact they won’t be too important moving forward.
So, warning: a bit of blood, but nothing graphic, Pyg isn’t actually in this one, and I guess implied shipping warning. I also took a few liberties with Zsasz’s background, sooo yeah.
Enjoy.
Professor Strange came to sit before the patient, adjusting his notepad silently. His pen met paper and soon he began to write. “Viktor.”
“Doctor Strange. A pleasure,” Zsasz greeted, his arms cramped from being tightly bound against his body. He would have sworn straight jackets had been put out of use by now. He didn’t mind it; it was something he’d grown used to during his initial years as one of Gotham’s most abhorred.
“Would you like to explain the mark on your neck, Mr. Zsasz?” Strange requested, gesturing to the scabbed-over mark that had appeared beside his jugular seemingly overnight. Viktor’s smiling expression didn’t flex at the comment, having known such a question would soon befall him. “A piece of discarded glass works wonders, Hugo,” was all his patient had to say about that, putting himself on a first name basis with the psychiatrist.
“What is it for, if you don’t mind me asking?” Hugo pried, showing no expression of suspicion towards the man. When given a small curious tilt of the head, he continued. “Your doctor, Dr. Chen, saw the mark and immediately assumed it was for her, which is why we sit together here today.”
“Miss Chen needn’t worry,” Zsasz told him calmly, feeling as though his head was clear for the first time in near ages. “The mark isn’t for her.” Despite his apologies, it was most likely they wouldn’t be interacting again for her safety; a mere obstacle, he reasoned, as he would easily find her once he was out of the asylum.
“Who is it for then?” Hugo repeated, his patience undeterred as his pen scrambled across the page with detailed notes.
Zsasz’ grin never faded, a faint song playing in his head that’s melody escaped between his teeth under the mounting pressure of the professor. “Can I simply say I needed the mark? Is madness not reason enough for you, Strange?” Sleepless eyes scanned over the other’s flesh with an internal ache to sink something sharp in there. He was already dreaming of the poses he could put the man in; playing cards, perhaps? No, something more professional. Draped over his own desk in a collapsed heap of sleep? Possibly. He was sure a workaholic was hidden somewhere behind those thick frames, aching to be set free from the limbo that was life itself. But where would he put the mark? For Strange, it had to be someplace special, and his palms were bare enough as it were.
“Are you implying that many of your marks are unearned?” Strange suggested, quite obviously using a triggering statement to catch the serial killer off his guard whilst he was lost in thought. Zsasz’s evaporation of his smile spoke volumes of his true thoughts. To even suggest any of his scars could be faked was an insult to the legacy of terror that sat before him. Hugo thought it redundant to pry more on the scars, and so therefor moved on.
“According to Officer Kieth, one of the guards that had been watching over you three, another officer had taken you, Valentin, and Wesker to get sorted out in Solitary, only to be found later in your cells. Would you perhaps like to explain what happened then?”
Zsasz’s brow raised ever so subtly, the frown retained on his expression. “It was all a misunderstanding,” was all he would offer, the foreign lilt of his voice not being able to disguise his contempt matching Strange’s. “Wesker apologized after all. The little man meant no harm towards our little Pyggy.”
Strange stopped writing for a brief moment and tapped the thin pen against his clipboard patiently, adjusting thick glasses that hid a more fiendish glint. Despite the disguise of those thin frames, Zsasz could see eyes searching for something; a crack in the wall or a well hidden doorway, perhaps. At this point the professor was poking around, scanning for that pressure point that would further split the cracks. He found them in his cellmate. “That’s good to hear, Viktor,” Strange congratulated. “We should never solve our differences through violence alone. Wesker could certainly teach you a thing or two.” Violence alone? “Perhaps I should meet with Mr. Valentin. I’m sure he would do well in holding you to the truth.”
That had Zsasz’s jaw working, although nothing was said initially. Viktor admitted to nothing, instead finding it rather irritating the man found a proper angle in the his cellmate. He took a moment to consider everything, keeping consistent eye-contact with the only other man in the room. “These guards of yours,” he said finally, a faux tone of curiosity drenching the cadence of his voice, “do you treasure them? They certainly are hard workers, aren’t they?”
“Arkham staff work very hard to maintain a peaceful environment,” Hugo said briefly. Viktor had a point to make and a story to tell. It was simply best to listen on and let him speak.
Viktor looked away, a scowl briefly crossing his features. “Yes, such lovely fellows. Gifted me with a little piggy, as you most certainly know.” As silence enveloped the room, he only continued. “Before my father had finally gotten big with his business in America and met his end in a… tragic accident along with my mother, he tended to the farm as much as he could back home.” He swallowed, remembering his parents fondly. “One morning when I was eight, he taught me about the pigs. Plump little creatures they were, blissfully unaware of the hatchet within my dear father’s shed. He used to tell me you could kill off the runt little piglets, do away with the deformed little monsters and keep their pork, but that sows were too valuable to the farm to kill off.”
Hugo said nothing, merely wondering where this would lead. The attempts at symbolism were far from subtle.
“Your guards gifted me with a horrid, deformed sow, hoping (praying perhaps?) that I would off the poor thing, or perhaps they he would eventually end me,” Viktor continued, grin slowly returning as his mood shifted back into proper place.
“They placed you in the same cell hoping you would kill each other,” Hugo stated matter-of-factly, surprise curiously absent from his stoic tone. Zsasz remained undeterred by the objective nature of the statement, only continuing with his tale.
“I took in this deformed sow,” Zsasz began once more. “I was patient and I waited and cared for this pig the best a man can do when constantly restrained by cuffs.” A chuckle left his lips. “And this Pyg, in return, gifts me with many little piggies as deformed and faceless as he is, but in an oh so different fashion; all living their lives unaware that they serve a purpose higher than simply living in the monotony that is the zombie infested world we live in today. He let the world see just what little zombies they were raising; that is a man who only deserves my respect, I truly believe, especially when he allows me to drive that icepick in myself.” He smiled gently, as if recalling a fond memory.  
“What is your point, Viktor?” Strange demanded, receiving one of those mad grins he had seen countless times before. “My point, doctor,” Zsasz hummed, “is that when a man is desperate and starved they may have no choice but to kill off that sow when the poor Pyg has eaten up his convenience.” A grin split his face. “As much as I enjoy my time with the Pyggy, I’m afraid that if you involve him in this little… misunderstanding, he may not exactly be well enough to see you. And although it aches at my dying heart, sometimes you simply need to know when to put an animal down.”
Strange had been threatened many times before then; Joker enjoyed his threats of violence whilst Nygma was always keen on suggesting action for slights against his intellect. Rarely, however, had the threat been made of a person other than himself. This rather grandiose brand of criminality usually brought about conceited and more direct threats. Zsasz, curiously, always was a bit more practical. All he ever really needed was something sharp to get he job done; wasting words had no true purpose to him.
Strange considered the man for a moment, turning his attention away when the door to the room was opened. “Is he ready for Solitary, Professor?” an officer asked, two more flanking for what would certainly be a difficult transport. Hugo’s gaze returned to Viktor’s, who seemed rather anticipative for what he was sure was to come. Instead, Strange shook his head and gestured them to leave. “Fortunately, no. It seems to have all been a misunderstanding.” He savored the subtle look of surprise on the man who always seemed to be so in control of his own madness. “However, I would like a few more minutes with my patient.”  
The guards merely looked at each other, before nodding and closing the door behind them. Zsasz had to bite his lip until it leaked blood to keep the grin off of his face. There were so many unspoken questions, and yet Viktor was content with not knowing the finer, more pointless details.  
“Does Lazlo mean so little to you?” Strange asked, noticing with subtle curiosity the fading ink of his pen. He had only just realized his notes filled the page with him inquiries of the possibilities. Despite this, silence needed to be filled. “You seem just as happy to keep him around as you are to do away with him.”
Zsasz had been following the pen with his eyes mindlessly, only seeing pointless scribbles within the twists and turns of neat penmanship. “Pigs are as brilliant as they are for making good companions,” he noted, not caring for the implications of his words that would be enticing to any doctor within Arkham. Such a peek behind the curtains was such a rarity, after all.  
Zsasz finally found it appropriate to take his gaze off of the finally dead pen. “Oh, what can I say, Doctor?” The killer smiled softly, wild eyes lifting to meet scrupulous ones. “I like pork.”
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kaaramel · 6 years ago
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every shakespeare reference in wilba’s speech file (that i could find) by play
this.... this is what i choose to spend my time on
the majority are, fittingly, Hamlet quotes, but she quotes something like 20 different plays, and also the one sonnet that everyone knows, you know the one
i probably didn’t get them all? there are SO many. 
also i assigned plays from memory on a lot of them because i can’t be sitting around googling every single quote so if some are misattributed that’s why but i feel pretty confident in my shakespeare trivia
i didn’t list repeats unless they were significantly different or funny so please please don’t swan into my inbox telling me i missed one of the 9,000 “wherefore art thou”s
if you don’t know what the original quote is then i’d be happy to give context. my original intention was to do that but that was 200+ lines of misquoted shakespeare ago
yeah..
yeah, i spent like two hours on this
this isn’t in any kind of order or nice formatting really, just fyi, because i’ve already spent two hours on it
Hamlet ANNOUNCE_NOSLEEPONFIRE = "WILBA DOTH FWOOSH TOO MUCH, METHINKS!" MANDRAKE = PICKED = "IT DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH, METHINKS" PIGMAN_STOREOWNER = "HER HAIR DOTH TOO MUCH, METHINKS" ..doth what wilba
ANNOUNCE_MORETREASURE = "MORE THINGS IN CHESTS 'N EARTH!"
ANNOUNCE_CHARLIE_ATTACK = "WHAT ROGUE AND PEASANT SLAVE AM YOU!" PEAGAWK = GENERIC = "WHAT A ROGUE AND PEASANT SLAVE AM EYE-BIRD!"
SPOILED = "SOMETHING ROTTEN IN WILBA TUM TUMS" ROTTENEGG = "MMMM...SOMETHING ROTTEN" WARN = "SOMETHING ROTTEN IN STATE OF WILBA HEAD"
ANNOUNCE_BEES = "IS BEE OR NAUGHT IS BEE?" WORMHOLE_LIMITED = "T'WILL BE OR NAUGHT T'WILL BE?" BACONEGGS = "TO EAT OR NOT TO EAT?" BEE = HELD = "TWO BEES? NOPE, NOT TWO BEES" PUMPKINCOOKIE = "COOKIE OR NOT COOKIE" JUNGLETREESEED = GENERIC = "TO PLANT OR NOT TO PLANT" TUBER_CROP = "TUBER, OR NAUGHT TUBER"
ANNOUNCE_HOT = "WILBA AM TOO MUCH I' THE SUN" DRYINGINRAIN = "IT TOO MUCH I' THE RAINS"
WILDBORE = "LITTLE MORE THAN KIN, LESS THAN KINDA" LEATHER = "LITTLE MORE THAN SKIN AND LESS THAN HIDE"
RESURRECTIONSTONE = "IS'T TICKET BACK FROM UNDISCOVERE'D COUNTRY" TUMBLEWEED = "THE UNDISCOVER'D RUNT TREE"
DUNGBEETLE = DEAD = "HAS'T SHUFFLED OFF MORTAL PLOP BALL" CHICKEN = DEAD = "WADDL'D OFF THIS MORTAL COIL" JELLYFISH_DEAD = "HATH DEPARTED MORTAL COIL"
ROWBOAT = "THE ROWS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE" SLOTMACHINE = "HATH OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE"
ARMORSEASHELL = "WILBA READY FOR SEA OF TROUBLES" BOATCANNON = "WILBA TAKE ARMS AGAINST SEA OF TROUBLES" ENCRUSTEDBOAT = "WILBA MAKE ARMOR AGAINST SEA OF TROUBLES"
BEEFALO = SLEEPING = "PERCHANCE IT DREAMS?" (also for sleeping frogs) CORKBOAT = "FRAILTY, THY NAME IS'T CORK BOWL CANOE!"
GLOMMER = "AY, THERE'S A BUG" ROC_NEST_BUSH = "AY, THERE'S THE SHRUB"
BLUBBERSUIT = "TOO SOLID FLESH NAUGHT MELT"
WALRUS_TUSK = "YOUR OWN SELF BE TOOTH" SOLD = "TO MINE OWN HOUSE BE TRUE"
WHIP = "BREVITY IS'T SOUL OF WHIP"
TRAWLNET = "WHEREIN I'LL CATCH THE FISHIES OF THE SEA" (a biiig reach but it has the same meter at least as 'wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king')
DORSALFIN = "OF IN-FIN-ITE JEST" PIKO = GENERIC = "FELLOWS OF INFINITE JEST"
JELLYBUG = "MOST FOUL, STRANGE, AND UNNATURAL"
TOPHAT = "WILBA MOST EXCELLENT FANCY" PIKO_ORANGE = "OF MOST EXCELLENT FANCY TAILS" TALLBIRDEGG = "MOST EGG-CELLENT FANCIES"
WEBBERSKULL = "ALAS, POOR SPIDER" ABIGAIL = "ALAS, POOR GHOST!" BIRDCAGE = SKELETON = "ALAS, POOR BIRDY" PIGMAN = DEAD = "ALAS, POOR PIGGY!" ANCIENT_ROBOT_HEAD = "ALAS, POOR ROBOT" SKELETON_PLAYER = "ALAS POOR WILBA!!"
SCORPION = DEAD = "DEATH WILL HAS IS'T DAY"
ANIMAL_TRACK = "SWEET PRINTS!"
BUSHHAT = "THERE METHOD TO WILBA MADNESS" INSANITYROCK = ACTIVE = "THERE IS A METHOD IN'T"
Winter's Tale BEARGER = "EXIT WILBA, PURSUED BY BEARGER" FABRIC = "'TIS THE FABRIC OF MINE FOLLY'"
All's Well WALL_STONE = "WALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL"
Merry Wives SNAKESKIN = "IT HEART WAS MIGHTY, IT SKIN ARE WHOLE" GRASS_TALL = PICKED = "THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT"
AYLI PIGEON = GENERIC = "HEY DING A DING DING!" PANGOLDEN = "NOSE HIMSELF TO BE A FOOL"
RIII PIGTENT = "'TIS WILBA'S DISCON-TENT" now that's a stretch. STEADY = "NOW IS WINTER OF WILBA DISCONTENT" FROG_POISON = "POISON'DOUS BUNCH-BACK'D TOAD" GENERIC = "THOU LUMP OF FOUL DEFORMITY!" RUG_CATCOON = "LUMP OF FOUL DEFORMITY"
Midsummer BEE = GENERIC = "WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTAL BEES!" DAWN = "WHAT VISIONS HAS'T WILBA SEEN'D?" DUNGPILE = GENERIC = "WILBA AM SICK WHEN LOOK ON THEE"
Macbeth CATCOON = "'TIS THRICE BRIND'ED CAT" GOATMILK = "MILK O' GOATY KINDNESS" SMASHINGPOT = "OUT DAMNED POT!"
MOOSE_NESTING_GROUND = "THE STICKING PLACE" MUSSEL_FARM = STICKPLANTED = "WILBA SCREW IT TO THE STICKING PLACE" ROC_NEST_BRANCH1 = "'TIS BIG STICKING PLACE"
all PUPPETs (non-Max throned characters) = "BUT A WALKING SHADOW!" TIGERSHARKSHADOW = "BUT A SWIMMING SHADOW" DIVININGROD = HOT = "SOUND AND FURY!" VOLCANO_ALTAR_TOWER = "FULL OF SOUND AND FURY" CANDLEHAT = "ON, ON, BRIEF CANDLE!"
ARMORCACTUS = "BY THE PRICKING OF MINE ARMOR" MAXWELL = "MR. WICKED THIS WAY COMES" FIRERAINSHADOW = "SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES!" WAXING = "SOMETHING WICKED'D THIS WAY COMES!" wicked'd... COCONADE = BURNING = "SOMETHING BOOMING THAT WAY GOES" POG = "SOMETHING CUTIES THIS WAY COMES" TALLBIRDEGG_CRACKED = "SOMETHING BEAKY THIS WAY COMES!"
GREENAMULET = "DOUBLE, DOUBLE TOIL" PIG_SHOP_ARCANE = GENERIC = "TOIL AND TROUBLES"
FROGLEGS_POISON = "TOE O' FROG" SNAKE = "'TIS FENNY SNAKE?"
Much Ado GENERIC = "AS LONG AS THE DAY IS MERRY" GNAT = "MUCH ADO ABOUT GNAT-ING"
R&J BOAT_TORCH = "WHAT LIGHT!" ANNOUNCE_ENTER_LIGHT = "LIGHT THOUGH YONDER DARK STUFFS BREAKS" YELLOWGEM = "WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER GEM BREAKTH?" SLURPER = "WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER FUR BREAKS?" FIREFLIES = GENERIC = "A LIGHT THROUGH YONDER BUG BUTT BREAKS" FLUP = "WHAT EYE THROUGH YONDER GROUND BREAKS?"
there's a handful of "WHEREFORE ART YOU?" "WHEREFORE ART THAT?" SLURPER_PELT = "WEAR FUR ART NOW?" PIG_RUINS_ARTICHOKE = "WHEREFORE ART-ICHOKE?"
WALL_MOONROCK = "IT BE NAUGHT LIKE INCONSISTENT MOON" insufferable pedantry: it's "inconstant moon," actually MULTITOOL_AXE_PICKAXE = "IS'T INCONSTANT TOOL" yeah, like that
several "BUT SOFT, 'TIS SOFT BUTT!" for rabbit tails, bearger fur etc
CUTLICHEN = "CAVE ROT BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD TASTE AS SWEET" GUANO = "PLOP BY ANY T'OTHER NAME" FULLHONEY = "YUMS BY ANY OTHER NAMES" BEEFALOWOOL = "WOOL FROM ANY OTHER BEAST WOULD SMELL SWEETER" CORAL = "A ROCK BY ANY OTHER NAME" TOUCAN = "A NOSE BY OTHER NAME 'TIS CALL'D A BEAK"
RUBBLE = "THE COURSE OF BUILDING NEVER RUN SMOOTH"
SWORDFISH = "PUT UP THY SWORD"
BEEHIVE = "A PLAGUE ON BEES HOUSES!" WORMHOLE_LIMITED = "A PLAGUE UPON IT"
Tempest ACTIVE = "WHAT BRAVE NEW WORLD DOS'T THIS LEAD?", BEDROLL_STRAW = "'TIS STUFF DREAMS ARE MADE IN" PIGGYBACK = "'TIS SUCH THING AS WILBA MADE ON" KNIGHT_NIGHTMARE = "STUFF BAD DREAMS ARE MADE ON" PLAYER_HOUSE_GOTHIC_CRAFT = "SUCH STUFFS AS HOUSES ARE MADE OF"
ONEMANBAND = "WILBA PLAY'TH SWEET AIRS" (maaaybe?) BELL = "DING-DONG, BELL" (phrase is also in Merchant)
Merchant of Venice TRANSISTOR = "ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD?" BLUEGEM = "ALL THAT GLITTERS 'TIS COLD" GNATMOUND = "ALL THAT BUZZES IS GNAT HOME"
HONEYHAM = "'TIS POUND O' FLESH" TELEPORTATO_BOX = "A POUND O' BOX" TELEPORTATO_CRANK = "A POUND O' CRANK" TELEPORTATO_POTATO = "A POUND O' POTATO" TELEPORTATO_RING = "A POUND O' RING" ELEPHANTCACTUS_ACTIVE = "YOU PRICK WILBA, SHE DOST BLEED!" SNAKE_POISON = "IF YOU POISON WILBA, WILL SHE NOT DIE?" ANCIENT_ROBOT_CLAW = "HATH NAUGHT A ROBOT HANDS?"
Lear POWCAKE = "BLOW, CAKE!" IRONWIND = "BLOW, WINDS" WIND_CONCH = "BLOW, WINDS, WILBA CRACK HER CHEEKS" ANNOUNCE_VOLCANO_ERUPT = "SPIT-ETH FIRES! SPOUT-ETH RAIN!" VOLCANOSTAFF = "WILBA SPIT FWOOSHING, SPOUT RAIN!" HAIL_ICE = "SPIT ICE! SPOUT, RAIN!" HOUNDSTOOTH = "SHARPER THAN A SERPENT'S TOOTH" NOHONEY = "NOTHINGS CAN COME OF NOTHINGS!" SOMEHONEY = "HAVE MORE THAN THOU SHOWEST?" PIGMAN_ERUDITE = GENERIC = "SPEAK LESS THAN SHE KNOWEST" RELIC_3 = "IT SPEAKS LESS THAN IT NOSE-EST" TREEGUARD = "COME NOT 'TWEEN A TREE AND HIS WRATH!" DRAGOONDEN = "COME NOT 'TWEEN THE DRAGOON AND ITS WEIGHTS" TRAWLNETDROPPED = "FORTUNE SMILE ONCE MORE" WOODLEGS_CAGE = "LET'S AWAY TO PRISON"
Henry IV PIRATEHAT = "UNEASY LIES HEAD THAT WEAR PIRATE HAT" PIGCROWNHAT = "UNEASY LIES HEAD THAT WEAR-ETH THE CROWN" KRAKEN = "UNEASY LIES THE HEAD 'NEATH THE WATER!" PEAGAWKFEATHERHAT = "EASY LIES THE HEAD THAT WEARS PRETTY HAT"
SNAKE_AMPHIBIOUS = "A BOLTING-HUTCH OF BEASTLINESS" SLEEPING = "O GENTLE SLEEP!" BILL = GENERIC = "'TIS A FUSTILARIAN" ADULT_FLYTRAP = GENERIC = "I'LL TICKLE YOUR CATASTROPHE!" HIPPOPOTAMOOSE = "THOU ART AS FAT AS BUTTER!" RUG_PORCUPUSS = "'TIS BOMBARD OF SACK" i havent seen what this is ingame but i'm not confident that klei knows what that means
Henry V SPIDER = "WILBA UNTO THE BREACH!" SPIDER_WARRIOR = "WILBA ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH!" ANCIENT_ROBOT_LEG = "THE ROBOT IS AFOOTS"
Julius Caesar GENERIC = "LET SLIP THE PIG OF WAR!", PREY = "WILBA CRY HAVOC!" WARG = "'TIS DOGS OF WARG" SOLOFISH = "LET SLIP THE DOGS O' SEA" FLOWERSALAD = "'TIS FOR SALAD DAYS" SPIDERHAT = "FOR SPIDERS TO LEND WILBA THEIR EARS" EARRING = "WILBA LEND IT MINE EAR"
Taming SCORPION = GENERIC = "THEREBY HANGS A TAIL" ANT_CAVE_LANTERN = "THEREBY HANGS A LIGHT"
Othello PUGALISK = "BEAST WITH ONE BACK"
12th Night several "FOOD BE THE FOOD OF LOVE!" "ALL FOOD BE FOOD OF LOVE" etc MAXWELLPHONOGRAPH = "FOOD OF LOVE?" OX_FLUTE = "WILBA PLAY THE FOOD O' LOVE" ZEB = GENERIC = "'TIS HORSEY O' A DIFFERENT COLOR"
Timon of Athens, now THERE's a deep cut MEAN_FLYTRAP = GENERIC = "WOULD IT WERT CLEAN ENOUGH TO SPIT 'PON" ANTMAN = GENERIC = "WILBA WOULD BEAT THEE, BUT T'WOULD INFECT MINE HANDS"
misc SPEAR = "WILBA SHAKETH THIS SPEAR" RAINFORESTTREE = GENERIC = "SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO ANOTHER TREE?" lOTUS = "SHALL WILBA COMPARE IT TO SUMMER DAY?"
i don't think "o'er-peer the oceans" is anything because the only use of "o'er-peer" is apparently in coriol-fuckin-anus, but: SUPERTELESCOPE = "WILBA CAN'ST O'ER-PEER THE OCEANS"
CROCODOG = "'TIS A WHITE-EYED MONSTER" miiiiight be othello?
29 notes · View notes
cursedmouthgall · 6 years ago
Text
Gall’s Kidnapping Part Two
Here’s the next part to Gall’s October event, staring Garrison Charles, Myle Macey @alabastercharlatan and Belle Vunderbar @a-page-of-sanctuary It’s a long story under the cut so be prepared and enjoy the show!
Tree
Garry stood on the outside of the alleyway panicking softly as he tries figure out what to do. "Fuck fuck fuck this can't be happening, there's no way she should have been able to find them, dear god this can't be happening" He mutters to himself as tears fill his eyes as he fruitlessly pulls out his phone and dials Gall's number one last time as back in the alleyway, a cracked phone lying on the ground began to ring showing a picture of Garry and Gall smiling on it
Silver
“Who? Who found him, Garry?”Belle’s voice wavered and her hands trembled as they clumsily tangled into her hair.
Tree
He takes a deepbreath and walks over to pick up the phone and stares down at the picture of them before sighing "His grandmother..." He says as he opens the phone and finds the messages left by Miss Macey as he raises an eyebrow in confusion "Uhh who's this Macey chick? She texted Gall a lot last night." He says showing her the messages
Silver
“I think she’s his girlfriend?”
Tree
For a brief moment a look of annoyance flashes on Garry's face "He never mentioned her before..." He says softly before he careful sends a text using Gall's phone [text] Hello?
Queen
The phone stayed quiet for a moment, and then the screen turned blue. Two seconds later, a white hand shot out of the screen, immediately grabbing Garry's shirt. Miss Macey's arm reached out of the phone as she used the screen like a portal, clawing her way out. "You stupid blue mother fucker, I'm going to kick your ass!!! We are SO OVER, YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, YOU HEAR ME?" she screeched as she pulled herself out of the phone and clawed at Garry's face.
Silver
Belle jumped and screamed,”JESUS FUCK!”
Tree
"FUCKING SHIT!" Garry screams as he narrowly dodges her claws dropping the phone in the process as he hastily scrambles away from the portal "W-WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
Queen
Miss Macey finished crawling out of the phone portal and stood up; her face was smudged with runny mascara and eyeshadow and she had crazy, murderous eyes as she pulled a gun from between her breasts and immediately pointed at the two strangers. "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY EX BOYFRIEND?" she snarled, starting to cry and shake again. "Who the hell are you two?"
Silver
Belle reached into her bag and pulled out a box of tissues,”I’m Belle.” She holds it out to Macey,”I’m a friend of Gall’s.”
Tree
"I-I'm Garry, also a friend of Gall and uhh we were going to ask you that question but after seeing this I think I know where he went" Garry says as he points up at the demonic symbol burnt into the wall behind him
Queen
Miss Macey squinted, and then looked up at the strange markings on the wall. Her ears pinned down as she lowered her gun and flicked the safety on, hugging her nightie closer to her chest. "What the hell is this shit?" she asked. The fur on her tail had begun to fluff out.
Silver
Belle looks over the markings and takes a breath,”If my extensive reading is correct, this is a high level Demonic Sigil. Possibly Fury Class but Gall and I haven’t found out what kind of demon he is and if this is his Grandmother we’re dealing with, then I don’t have a steady idea.”
Tree
"Well...I might have an idea about that." Garry says as he gets to his feet and dusts himself off "Truth be told Gall isn't an ordinary demon. He's the decedent of an ancient demon of Hell, one with a large following of obedient followers."
Queen
"I tried to suck his demonic powers into a Beholding Shard and it didn't work; so yeah, he's strong." Miss Macey sniffled as she took a few of Belle's tissue and wiped her nose. "Let's hunt down Grandma Cunt-Pants and bazooka her into next week. I took out a demon last week with a Subaru and a Tommy gun, so how hard could an old lady be?"
Tree
"Well...you know those obedient followers I mentioned? Well they're a group of ancient magic users who've been trying to revive the original Demon using guinea pigs from the family...guess who's the leader and guess who's the guinea pig?"
Silver
“If she’s as high ranking as Garry says, a shitty car isn’t gonna be enough. I could ask Hades and Hecate for help but I don’t know how much they can do to help us.”
Queen
"I could ask Satan." Miss Macey said bluntly, blowing her nose and then pulling a cigarette out of her boobs and lighting it with a small snap of her fingers. "He doesn't owe me any favors but he visits like, once a year."
Tree
Garry stares blankly at her in confusion "...You serious?" He says looking at her like she's crazy as he silently wonders what drew Gall to this crazy woman
Silver
“Uhhhh, I don’t feel comfortable dealing with....that.”
Queen 
"It's a long story but that bastard is the reason I'm even here to begin with. I think if I asked him to save my boyfriend in exchange for nine more lives of serving his will on this hellscape of a planet, he'd agree." she huffed, dragging on her cigarette until only half was left. "So let me get this straight, his Grandmother, a cult leader, kidnapped him to try and wake up the demon that's been piggy-backing on his physical body, and if we want Gall back we have to get to her first."
Tree
"Well it's actually more like...he is the demon, she's been experimenting on him since he was a kid to turn him into the demonic creature, but we managed to stop it for a brief period by escaping and using magic to erase every trace of her from Gall's memory severing any ties he had to her so she couldn't find him. I don't know how she found him now or where she could have taken him..." He mutters with a worried sigh
Silver
Belle froze,”The picture....” her heart sunk,”This is my fault.....” she teared up,”I was hanging out at his place, looking at pictures and I pointed out a weird picture of him. He got migraines but we forgot about it while we were researching Demonic entities at my place.....She found him because of me!” She started crying.
Queen
Miss Macey groaned and spat out her cigarette, flicking the safety off of her gun and aiming it straight at Belle's head. "Gimme one, just one good reason why I shouldn't blow that stupid horn off your face, since this is your fault." she said tiredly. "He's probably dead, I'm sure he could use a friend where he went."
Tree
"What?! N-No that couldn't do that how could just looking at a photo-" He says looking confused as he reluctantly starts trying to console her before immediately steps in front of Belle and Miss Macey's gun "OK LET'S JUST CALM DOWN FOR A MINUTE! That was probably the most powerful memory spell around as far as I know, just looking at a photo shouldn't have brought back his memories and if something showed up in the picture it means the spell was already fading, there was supposed to be no trace of her.""Besides Gall definitely wouldn't want his girlfriend killing one of his friends"
Queen
"Gall's not here." Miss Macey said, cocking the hammer back.
Silver
She grabs the gun and presses it against her forehead,”You decide.....Me and my little brother are all that’s left. My parents and little sister were murdered. I saw them turned into meat confetti. I had to bury them. I had to fight for my brother’s custody to keep him away from my hellish uncle....but I’ve wanted to be dead for 3 years. If you want to shoot me, go ahead. You’ll be doing me a favor.” Belle says seriously, her mismatched eyes unbreaking from Macey’s eyes.
Queen
Miss Macey was abit taken aback; she was used to people begging for their lives to be kept, not ended.
Tree
The seven foot monster lets out an angry growl before grabbing the barrel of the gun and clenching it tightly as loud crunch could be heard as the barrel gets crushed"Nobody's shooting anybody. We're finding my brother, we're murdering that evil bitch who's taken him and then we're getting the both of you some therapy. GOT IT?!" He snarls angrily at the both of them as he glares at them before taking a breath "Ok...we just need to find some way to track him. There's blood all over, some of it might be his so either of you know anything that could track him?" He says trying to stop the two women from killing each other by focusing their minds on something else
Queen
Miss Macey glared at Gary when he destroyed her gun, and she tossed the useless weapon aside. "I can hunt down men dead or alive when they owe me something and Gall owe's me an apology and sex. And you owe me a new gun." she said, pointing at Gary as she headed over to the blood stains and squatted down to observe them. "What's all that shit about you being his brother? Ya'll couldn't be more opposite, with the fur and the colors... and who the fuck are you s'posed tah be?" she asked, glancing back at Belle.
Silver
“Brother’s aren’t always blood.”
Tree
"And this is one of those cases. Long story short, I've been Gall's friend since childhood, his parents basically raised me so I consider him my brother." He says glaring down at her
Silver
She reached into her purse,”As for me, Gall’s said he thinks of me as a sister.” She pulls out a notebook and a pen.
Tree
He grins at her and gives her a small hug "Then makes us siblings too then!"
Queen
"Ya'll are gonna make me vomit with that sister-mister shit." she said, making a tiny portal and reaching through it. She pulled out a small baggie with glass shards and took one, scraping at the bloodied ground with it and then  staring through it. "I'm willing to bet five bucks that when I scry with this it's either blocked, or murky." she said aloud, walking back to Gary and Belle. "Or, he's in a coffin six feet under and it's all dark."
Tree
"Then you can just dig him up and bring him back with your voodoo or whatever this crap is." He says with a frown
Silver
Belle draws a symbol and scratches off some dried blood onto the paper. She sets it on the ground and pulls out a lighter,”I’m gonna ask Hecate for guidance. She has ties to the Underworld.”(This symbol to be exact)
Queen
"I don't bring people back from the dead, I just raise undead smart ass. It ain't the same." Miss Macey huffed, watching Belle for a moment. "Eh, you're a witch too?"
Tree
Garry leans back against one of the walls luckily not the one with any weird markings on it as he silently watches them work
Silver
“Yep.” She says,”Baby witch though. I’ve only been practicing since February. Hecate says I’m one of her more powerful followers.” She lights the paper and a steady plume of smoke raises. An elderly woman’s voice could be heard from the smoke,”Hello, my little shapeshifter. I sense your distress.” “My goddess, I need your guidance.” She says seriously.
Queen
"Pfft, more powerful my arse..." Miss Macey muttered under her breath. A hint of jealousy sprinkled her tone like parsley on steak.
Silver
(Sure)Belle looked to the fire,”Hecate, my goddess, my friend is in danger. I need to know how to save him. I can’t lose any more family.” The voice paused for a moment,”Normally, I would make a joke about you being uptight. But this is a dire situation.” Through the smoke came a dark blue staff with flecks of gold. At the top of it, it looked like a sign pointing in three different directions. “Take this, shapeshifter. With this, old memories will be new, and ancient instinct will be second nature.” Hecate spoke gently,”Trust your power. That goes for your friends who are listening here.”
Tree
Garry stares at tge goddess in shock as he seems at a loss for words
Queen
"That made as much sense as a homeless man under house arrest." Miss Macey said. She had lost all ability to speak with respect to others. "What does that mean, what do we do with a stick? Is it like a compass, is it gonna show the way?"
Silver
“Maybe if you paid attention, you would understand.” Hecate said bluntly.(That actually made me laugh)
Tree
Garry stifles back a laugh "W-Who knew the gods were sassy" He mutters under his breath
Queen
"All of them have their great golden halos so far up their butt, the colonoscopies are blinding." Miss Macey muttered. "Whatever, thanks for the staff- Let's go kids. I need to change into my hunting boots."
Silver
The old woman laughed,”My my, Macey, you certainly don’t sugarcoat anything.” A red drawstring bag came out of the smoke,”You two will be needing your own tools.” After that, a shimmering shield came out,”Miss Macey here gets my bag of magic tricks. The object you need will come when you need it, as for you, Garrison, I pulled some strings and borrowed the Shield of Ares. Hellfire shouldn’t be an issue as long as you’re behind this.”
Tree
"Thank you ma'am I really appreciate it." He says gratefully as he bows politely to the goddess
Queen
"What if I need a gram of cocaine and some beer, will it gimme that- Actually I'm going to shut up. Would hate to get cursed." Miss Macey said quickly as she observed the bag.
Tree
"A gram of co- Jesus Christ Gally what do you see in this woman?!" He mutters to himself in utter confusion
Silver
“Good luck, Children. You have a difficult task at hand.” Hecate says in a truly serious tone. “I thank thee, my goddess. My beseechment has ended. Good night and blessed be.” Belle says, waving her hand in a certain motion and the smoke dissipates. She takes the staff and inspects it. She didn’t seem to recognize the type of gemstone it was made from, she could feel an odd buzzing sensation as she held it,”Oof, this is really something.”
Tree
Garry meanwhile picks up the shield and checks it out "Hmm not bad, plus she said it could block hellfire, I don't know if Gall's flames are that powerful but just in case..."
Silver
“She knows what she’s doing.” Belle says, the only thing she’s seemed confident about.
Queen
"So then. What now?" Miss Macey asked, still holding her scrying glass.
Tree
"Well didn't she say that staff could help us find Gall? So uhh go ahead Belle, turn it on or something."
Silver
She paces for a minute,”I don’t know how.”
Queen
Miss Macey glared at Belle and reached for the staff impatiently. "Here, give me that! Jesus.." she spat angrily. "You might lose that too so just had it over."
Silver
Belle felt her chest ache with guilt.
Tree
Garry growls angrily at her and smacks her hand away "Knock it off bitch! You aren't helping by acting so high and mighty so shut up or actually come up with a plan"
Silver
Belle looked at the staff and inspected it. She lifted her glasses to look at the three way sign on top,”Crossroads. We need to go to the crossroads. Specially, the three way of Hirsch Street, Craven Road, and King Avenue.”
Queen
"I can borrow a hell hound to help us track his scent. I've got a Chevy Crusade we can take, and snacks. And weed." Miss Macey said, raising her head and glaring at Garry. "You. Touch me again and I will shoot you in the arm."
Silver
“I don’t smoke....also, your gun’s kinda been turned into play dough.” Belle said with an awkward shuffle.
Tree
He glares angrily at her "When we find him and If I find out you're even a fraction of how you are right now with him you better hope you can shoot fast enough to stop me." He growls at her
Silver
Belle’s ears begin to twitch,”What’s that noise?” Neither of them could hear anything other than wind.She started to walk away.
Tree
"Belle?" Garry says looking confused as he follows behind her
Silver
“This way!” She said, seemingly drawn to something.
Queen
Miss Macey followed along, making a small portal to pull out s fresh pack of cigarettes as she went, and a jacket to slide on. "Your ears are twitching- whatcha hearing?"
Silver
“It sounds like.....drums? But hollower. Thunder almost. But not quite. Steady like a heartbeat, but angrier.” She says, stopping at a crosswalk. The light changes and she keeps going.
Tree
Garry rushes after her mostly to make sure she doesn't get hit by a car as a thought enters his mind "Could it be...Gall's heart beat?"
Queen
"How come she ca hear it and I can't?" Miss Macey yawned as she lit her smoke and followed along. Someone looked sideways at her and she glared back, making the womans pants drop as she walked past. "Bitch... Anyway, where is it coming from, and do I need more guns?"
Silver
She just keeps going, until she reaches the three way. She looks towards the abandoned house that rested in the corner of the three roads. It was drastically out of place between the larger buildings the city offered. “A liminal space. If there’s a portal to hell, it’s there.” She pointed before looking at Macey,”If you need a gun, it’ll be in the bag. Hecate is the Goddess of Magic, she knows what she’s doing.”
Queen
"I have guns at home, I don't need no magic bag; I'll save it for an emergency." Miss Macey huffed. "Now before we go barging in there, might I suggest that we all go somewhere quiet and sit and actually think out a plan of what to do when we find Gall?"
Tree
"She could have a trap waiting for anyone who finds her, so maybe we should try and sneak inside? I don't know if they'll be more people in there with her, when we were kids from what I could overhear, the cult was falling apart and she was one of only a few loyal members still left but that was over a decade ago who knows what power she could have..."
Silver
Belle was thinking hard, she reached into her purse and pulled out a book with images of different demons. “I don’t know why, but I think if one of us could disguise ourselves as another demon that’s part of this cult. All three of us should be able to enter and get an idea of the layout. Hopefully, we can reach Gall before anything drastic happens and we won’t have to hurt him.”
Tree
"Hmm that could maybe work, but who should do it?"
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 10:48 PM
Miss Macey stayed very quiet, and then slowly raised her hand. "It uh... won't be so much of a disguise as my true image, but it might be passable." she coughed.
SilverSongLast Saturday at 10:48 PM
“True image? Are you wearing a Glamour?”
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 10:49 PM
"I've got a Glamour, and like..." she paused and counted on her fingers. "Like, at least 3 hexes on me at all times babe, it's kinda how I uphold this luxurious, Goddess-like beauty~ But yeah."
SilverSongLast Saturday at 10:52 PM
“Oh, Arcadia does, too.” She said with a shrug before stopping on a page,”If you’re not comfortable doing it, I can alter myself enough to look like this.” She turned the book to show a tall looking demon built for strength. It was black and blue with feathery fur,”Thunderghast. A storm demon.”
TreeLast Saturday at 10:56 PM
"Hmm well that could work, what about me? She might recognize me if I go in."
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 10:57 PM
The white cat groaned and rubbed her face as she smoked. "Can we please go back to my place and think of an actual plan." she growled. "I'm not standing out in public in my pajamas with you two any longer if I don't have to."
SilverSongLast Saturday at 10:58 PM
“Uhhh, ok.”“Which way is your place?”
TreeLast Saturday at 11:03 PM
"Wait those are your pajamas?" He says looking confused "Also if it helps my shop isn't too far from here, Gall's apartment is right next door so we could probably hang out there I've got a spare key after all"
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:04 PM
She glared at them both, still looking like garbage, and opened a home portal right in the street; a dark room was on the other side, and a fish tank burbled in the background. "Get in. I promise on the Oath of Ghosts, you won't get shot by my guys. Also I have a Keurig and snacks. C'mon."
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:05 PM
Belle awkwardly steps in.
TreeLast Saturday at 11:07 PM
Garry reluctantly follows after her with a shrug
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:10 PM
Belle rolls the staff in her hand. Unsure of what to do.
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:11 PM
As soon as Miss Macey stepped through after them, the portal snapped shut, and she clapped twice to turn her lights on. The room was more like a large office with scattered bins of paperwork, order forms, a few packages, and a huge fish tank with what looked like a giant, blood-red eel that had a skull for a head as it swam around. It opened it's maw wide in greeting when it saw Miss Macey and she waved at it, immediately heading for the wall cabinets and digging around. She didn't seem to care about her guests as she started to pull on a change of clothes. "So, we know where Gall is near. Thanks to... Becky? Whatever." she grunted, pulling on all kinds of leather and black clothes. "What we don't know is who we're fighting, how powerful they are, and how many. So we should assume the worst and go in guns blazing, literally and figuratively. Ya'll two fight at all?"
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:13 PM
Belle suddenly looked very uncomfortable,”I have super strength.....dangerous strength, even.....I hoped I’d never have to use it against anybody.”
TreeLast Saturday at 11:16 PM
"I mean I don't know about super but Gall always acts like I'm a hero or something whenever I have to lift up my car when something rolls underneath it." He says with a shrug "I mean my car's not even that heavy I've been able to lift it with one hand for years now, but I can handle myself in a fight."
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:18 PM
"Okay, so super chick will be helpful, and the hairball might be helpful. Either of you two know how to kill demons and angels and supernatural beings of the like?" she asked, tying her boots and then sitting at her desk. Without a care in the word, she took out a prepackaged needle of.... something, and stabbed it directly into her stomach, sitting back to finish her cigarette and check her phone. "I'm willing to bet money there are dozens of protective seals, locks, hexes, and Illusions in that place. I can probably break most of them with my magic, but if not, I hope your fancy God-Stick can." she said to Belle.
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:20 PM
Belle huffs,”It has to do something. Hecate said it’s a key.”
TreeLast Saturday at 11:20 PM
"Only demon I ever fought with was Gall and that was usually just to get the remote but I mean it's usually just get something holy and hit them with it right?"
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:21 PM
Belle takes off her selenite bracelet and holds it out to Macey,”You might need this.”
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:22 PM
Miss Macey's jaw twitched in a snarl, and she pulled the empty needle out and threw it; it stuck in the wall right behind Gary, with a small tuft of his reddish fur caught in the needle. Luckily it hadn't hit him, but her aim was impeccable. "It's not as easy as that, hairball. I'll get you a gun." she scoffed, leaning forward to take the bracelete from Belle. "Wassit?" she asked, pupils narrowing to the size of periods as the drugs woke her up.
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:24 PM
“Selenite. It should protect you, since it’s a holy stone. I’m pretty sure Gall would want his girlfriend safe and I’ve got a feeling.”
TreeLast Saturday at 11:25 PM
Garry didn't even flinch but inside his head he silently thinks to himself "Gallius Hinikuni you are so lucky right now or both me and your mother would have a few words to say to you about this crazy bitch you're dating" He thinks before calmly prying the needle out of the wall and tossing it into the trash(edited)
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:28 PM
"I'm surprised he hasn't told you that his girlfriend can protect herself." Miss Macey scoffed, shoving the bracelet back and then leaning down in her chair; she hauled up a big black lock box, and popped it open, starting to pull out small handguns and loading them, checking the safety. "So, we go back. I've got lives to spare for my little Blue berry, so I'll take off my Glamour, my Common face hexes, and I'll go in to see if I can't cause a distraction, or find us all a way in. I have ear peices around this place somewhere, but... I'm not sure where."
TreeLast Saturday at 11:30 PM
"Then me and Belle will sneak around the back and search for Gall, once we find him. We'll alert you Macey and then start knocking out anyone who stands between us and the exit. We grab our blueberry in distress, snap his grandmother's neck somewhere along the way, then we all go out for drinks so I can interrogate him about you two"
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:31 PM
“I’m not particularly stealthy, but I’ll do my best.”
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:32 PM
"His ass had better be alive when we get to him, or he's dead meat, and so are you two." Miss Macey growled. She grabbed a small harness to strap two guns beneath her jacket, another to her thigh, and she added a small explosive to her waist as well. "We ready to go? Ya'll need any juice, coffee, Adderall?"
TreeLast Saturday at 11:33 PM
"Got any shotguns?"
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:35 PM
“No. I’m good. I’ve got everything I need in my purse.”“Plus, I don’t like guns.”
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:36 PM
"Tough tits, sugar." Miss Macey headed over to the tank and reached into the cupboard beneath it, grabbing a box of shells and a double-barrel with the end sawed off. She flicked the safety on and tossed it to Gary. "Here. Don't blow your hands off, and aim low because the recoil is a bitch."
TreeLast Saturday at 11:37 PM
"On it." He says with a nod as he tests out the sights on the shotgun as he grins eagerly "Let's kick some ass." He says with a smirk
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:40 PM
Belle only pulls out the handle for a large sword and pockets it. The handle had no blade and no apparent mechanism to pop one out.
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:41 PM
"This is gonna suck ass. One sec." She hurried back to her cabinet and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, downing a few gulps and then walking back to her boyfriends friends to open a portal back up on the street, just a block away from the strange buildings. "Do me a favor, don't get killed? I might feel responsible."
TreeLast Saturday at 11:42 PM
"Same goes for you. Gall still won't let me live down killing his goldfish when we were 12, something tells me, he wouldn't let me live down killing his first girlfriend." He says with a nod
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:43 PM
“Mage, Bard, and Warrior. Looks like a great party.” Belle says in a weak attempt at humor.
TreeLast Saturday at 11:45 PM
"Does that make Gall the princess in need of rescue?"
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:47 PM
Macey barely cracked a smile; it was kinda hard not to, but she kept her stone-faced expression and began to shed her Glamour. Her clothes moved with her body, keeping all but the one gun on her thigh concealed. She grew a few feet, and jagged, broken horns began to curl out of her head, stopping a few inches out from her hairline. Her jacket had two hidden slits, and two scarred, ugly feathered stubs jutted out. Her features smoothed out, and her muzzle stretched out a bit, giving her a very ancient, ethereal look. When she finished, she popped her neck and glanced down at Gary and Belle. "Yes. He is a princess. Are you guys ready?"
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:48 PM
“Y-Yeah.” Belle stammered, a hint of blush on her face.
TreeLast Saturday at 11:49 PM
"Ready let's do this." He says patting Belle on the back before stepping through the portal as he rests his shotgun on his shoulder
SilverSongLast Saturday at 11:50 PM
Belle steps through and hears the sound again. This time, it’s more defined.She can almost hear words.
Queen MotherLast Saturday at 11:53 PM
Miss Macey had to duck through her portal this time, and she grabbed Belle's shoulder to steady herself. Her paws had been taken over by sharp white spikes that didn't quite touch the ground. "Where's my entrance at, sis." She muttered, squinting at the buildings.
TreeLast Saturday at 11:55 PM
The front of the building looked abandoned as the front door had been boarded up long ago along with most of the windows, however off to the side a wine cellar door could be seen with a new looking lock on it as Garry silently points at it "Over there, I'm gonna walk around and see if any of the windows are uncovered." He whispers to them before walking over
SilverSongYesterday at 12:01 AM
Belle walks over to the cellar doors,”This is just a steel lock and this is the way down.” She squats down and puts a hand on it, humming ‘Hellfire’, her watery magic covered the lock before it melted into slag. “No noise, no fuss.”
TreeYesterday at 12:07 AM
After a couple of minutes Garry comes back "No luck with the windows but I was able to peek inside a few times, I think the house isn't being used it must just be the cellar"
SilverSongYesterday at 12:08 AM
Belle stands up,”You’d be right. I still hear the noise and it’s coming from down there.” She points to the door, the lock now melted off.
Queen MotherYesterday at 12:14 AM
"I'll go first; y'all wait here for me and I'll come get you if the coast is clear." Miss Macey said. She didn't quite speak, rather thought directly to their minds. Her large form crouched by the door, and then she slid through it like a ghost. On the other side, she sensed for traps or magical seals, anything hinting at danger to the mortals.
TreeYesterday at 8:54 PM
Garry nods as Macey goes downstairs, she finds herself in a long corridor with various doors on either side of her. So far there were no traps but she definitely detected something very powerful down at the end of the hall
SilverSongYesterday at 9:02 PM
“I hope everything’s ok.” Belle said, twisting her braid into a bun and tying it with a hair bow.
Queen MotherYesterday at 9:03 PM
Miss Macey crept closer to the first door and carefully pressed her head through it to see if Gall was right there- that'd be too easy, but it never hurt to hope.
TreeYesterday at 9:06 PM
The room was empty but looked like it used to a bedroom for someone, inside was a simple metal cot and a desk both covered in years of dust. A dark black and red robe hung weakly from a hook, almost devoured by moths. - Garry sighs softly and nods "Yeah...she hasn't had him too long, I'm sure he's probably fine..." He says trying to lighten the mood with a smile but his tone showed how worried he was
Queen MotherYesterday at 9:08 PM
"So far so good." Miss Macey spoke to both Garry and Belle's thoughts as she pressed on, checking each door to see if it was a way down, until she was at the end of the corridor, and trying to use her Spiritual sight to sense any living aura's other than her two friends.
TreeYesterday at 9:13 PM
Each room was more copies of the first room, empty dorms with old faded robes seemingly abandoned for years, except for the second to last one. The room was much larger than the rest and looked very tidy and lived in. Covering the walls were various ancient texts speaking of demons, a few times the symbol on the wall could be seen and finally on the desk stood a lone crystal ball and a family portrait Belle and Garry might recognize. Finally the last room held was a large metal door looked like it was built to contain a beast inside she could sense a faint but familiar aura inside along with one more aura that seemed a lot similar to Gall's but different, both auras were projecting incredible magic power but Gall's aura seemed...odd it seemed like his power was not a part of his aura but trying to swallow it
Queen MotherYesterday at 9:19 PM
Miss Macey pressed against the metal door cautiously, but the aura inside made her uneasy. Even she knew better than to face off with a demon with that much power. And with her wings, and her halo, she was only as strong as it would be, if not weaker. "He's here.... I think. But something is wrong." she called to her two companions as she floated back to the door and opened it from the inside. It took some fiddling with the lock with her larger hands, but she finally broke it off and swung it open for Belle and Garry
SilverSongYesterday at 9:20 PM
“What’s wrong?” Belle asked anxiously.
TreeYesterday at 9:21 PM
"Is he okay?" Garry asks also looking anxious
Queen MotherYesterday at 9:26 PM
"How am I supposed to know? You two stay three paces behind me while I go look." she growled, heading back down the long corridor to the steel door. Very slowly, she pressed her face through the door, just to peek.
TreeYesterday at 9:26 PM
The room was a large dark room, there didn't seem to be anything inside except for a certain someone with his arms and legs chained to the roof and floor...
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TreeYesterday at 9:30 PM
Gall stared blankly at the floor blood slowly pouring from his eye, a strange robotic look on his face as the symbol on the floor pulsed with a demonic red light. A voice from the shadows calls out to the group "Well don't be shy dearies, come on in. I've been so eager to meet some of Gall's friends~" A sweet but cold voice says as a figure steps out of the shadows in front of Gall...
An older looking woman dressed in the dark red robes with a sweet grandmotherly smile on her face smiled at the door as she waits patiently for the trio to step inside
Queen MotherYesterday at 9:32 PM
Miss Macey growled deep in her chest, and the air around her vibrated as she pressed through the door, forgetting to open it for her friends. Her entire form loomed over the sweet old lady beneath her, and her bloody wing stubs were starting to bleed again as she huffed and snarled. "I'm going to dissapoint Gall here in a few minutes." she snarled.
SilverSongYesterday at 9:33 PM
Belle feels a shudder in her chest,”Garry we gotta go in there, NOW! MAGNUS RUSHES IN!” She shouts as she barrels down the steps into the cellar.
TreeYesterday at 9:35 PM
Millicent chuckles as Garry slams his shoulder hard into the door sending it open with a loud crash only to stop in horror when he sees Gall "N-No...Gally..." He mutters as Millicent turns to him "Oh my little Garry is that you? Why it's been so long you've grown so big and strong...it's a pity it wasn't strong enough to save him, isn't that right deary?" She says as she turns to Gall who replies obediently "...Yes Grandma..." and then goes silent again
Queen MotherYesterday at 9:37 PM
Miss Macey glared down at the old monster and felt herself coming unhinged, raging, raging, fucking raging on the inside. Her eyes flashed violet as she tried to read Gall's Aura, to see what was going on, to see if he was even in there. Her entire form was emitting a faint light, and a large crack had begun to form on her chest. "Good thing there's three of us..."
SilverSongYesterday at 9:38 PM
Belle runs in, staff clutched in hand and gasps seeing Gall in this state,”Oh Brother, my Brother, Gall!”She glared at the woman,”Nice to meet you, let me introduce you to my god damn hoof.”
TreeYesterday at 9:45 PM
"You would really do that to your own brother's grandmother?" She says in a mocking tone as she smirks before calmly walking over to Gall "As much as I would love to get to know Gall's sister and his girlfriend...I'm afraid I'll have to let him do the talking, isn't that right deary ?" She says raising her hand as suddenly the symbol glows brightly and Gall roars out loudly in pain as a loud sickening crunch is heard as another wing bursts out of Gall's back and the chains holding him down snap as his teeth grow long and fang like and his eye turns dark and demonic. Miss Macey could see Gall's aura swallowed up by the power surrounding him as he shakily gets to his feet, growling and snarling like a savage beast. Millicent smirks and points at them "Deary, please take care of them for your old grandmother won't you~?" She says in a kind voice with an evil smirk on her face as Gall only growls in response and charges the group at an inhuman speed
SilverSongYesterday at 9:55 PM
Belle lets out a combination of a scream and an operatic note and a thick shield of violet ice wall went in front of the three. She almost looks surprised by how big it is.
TreeYesterday at 9:58 PM
The wall doesn't last long as Gall slashes and hacks away at it with his claws before crashing through, snarling like an angry beast as he lunges for Belle only to get blocked by Garry's shield as he struggles to hold his ground as Gall pushes against his shield "G-Guy's he's really strong, I-I don't think I can ho-" He starts to say when Gall smacks him aside sending him flying into the nearby wall knocking him out as he drops his shield and it lands at the group's feet as Gall turns to glare at Macey and Belle
Queen MotherYesterday at 9:59 PM
Miss Macey gently put her hand in front of Belle, and when she looked down at her she looked... heart broken. "Make sure if I go down, he knows I didn't enjoy this at all." she murmured, procuring an astral spear from the crack in her chest and steps in front of her.
SilverSongYesterday at 10:03 PM
Belle nods and grabs the shield, running over to Garry to check him.
TreeYesterday at 10:04 PM
Garry was luckily just out cold groaning softly, meanwhile Gall turns to Miss Macey and snarls as he gets on all fours and lunges at her like a savage animal
Queen MotherYesterday at 10:05 PM
She ducked down to all fours to take his hit full force, and her claws screeched against the floor when he ran into her and shoved her back a few feet. She wrapped her arms around him and shoved the spear through one of his wings, attempting to pin him to the floor. "Gall, wait, wait wait!!!" she roared. "It's me! It's Macey!"
TreeYesterday at 10:08 PM
Gall roars out in pain as his wing gets pierced as he huffs and pants heavily glaring angrily at her before freezing for a moment as if he forgot something. For the briefest of moments Macey could see a flicker of Gall's aura inside the raging inferno of power but it was for only a second at he shakes his head and snarls again before pushing her off of him and swiping at her with his claws
SilverSongYesterday at 10:09 PM
Belle took note of his moment of hesitation.
Queen MotherYesterday at 10:11 PM
His claws raked over Miss Macey's face and down her neck and she shoved him against the floor. Her tail lashed as she drew back a hand and a light emitted from it. The blast would feel akin to acid splashing against his skin, but no outward damage could be seen. "I'm sorry, babe, just wake up so I don't have to hit you!" she begged.
TreeYesterday at 10:15 PM
Gall screams out in agony as he struggles for a bit before stopping as he stares up at her as his eye softens a bit "M...a....c...e...y...?" He says looking confused before Millicent finally pips up "Deary you stop playing with your friends and get back to work~" She says as Gall's expression turns back into his feral one as he snarls and attempts to snap at Macey(OH SILV I JUST HAD AN IDEA(WHAT IF GALL'S GRANDMOTHER KNOWS ABOUT THE KNOWONES?!
TreeYesterday at 10:19 PM
Millicent looks over at Belle and studies her for a bit before a look of realization hits her "Ah, so that's where I've seen you from deary! You're one of them!" She says with a nod "I had only read about them in legends since they've been gone for about 200 years now but I would have never guessed that there might be one here on Earth."
SilverSongYesterday at 10:22 PM
Belle looks thrown off,”Excuse me?”
TreeYesterday at 10:24 PM
She smirks evilly "You don't know do you deary? You have no idea what you are...what power you posses~" She says looking at Belle suddenly as if she had just found a new piece of meat to dissect
Queen MotherYesterday at 10:24 PM
"Yeah, double excuse me?" Miss Macey grunted, trying her best to keep Gall down. She wasn't as strong as she had hoped to be, and he managed to sing his fangs into her throat, making her choke and lurch upward suddenly. "Oh fuck-"
SilverSongYesterday at 10:27 PM
“MACEY!” She called out. The Staff sends a burst of energy up Belle’s arm as a voice rang through her head,’Go on. You know what to do.’ She takes a breath.
TreeYesterday at 10:28 PM
Gall snarls and pulls away blood dripping from his mouth as he stares down at her and goes to raise his claw to deliver the final blow only to freeze up for just a moment
SilverSongYesterday at 10:30 PM
“Gallius......” Belle says before gripping the staff.“GALL! PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!”
Queen MotherYesterday at 10:34 PM
Miss Macey let out a choked gasp as Gall pulled away from her and immediately clasped a hand over her throat. "Jesus.. fucking christ, where did you get the b-balls." she choked, making an astral sickle as fast as she could. When he froze up, she swiped down; effectively cutting his hand off in a single movement. No worries, she could stitch it back on with a spell later. For now, she just needed to weaken him enough that he wouldn't hurt Belle... she could feel herself bleeding out faster than she could move, and her vision was blurry.
TreeYesterday at 10:36 PM
Gall's hand falls to the ground with a thud as he screams out loudly in agony clutching his wrist tightly as tears well up in his eyes, only instead of water it was blood that poured down his cheeks
SilverSongYesterday at 10:38 PM
Belle was shocked at the sight.
Queen MotherYesterday at 10:43 PM
Miss Macey threw the weapon down and it dissipated, and her hands pulled awy from her throat as she grabbed Gall with both sets of claws, starting to squeeze him. She was crying too, and her grip was gettting weaker. "Belle, I hope that staff has some fire behind it." she choked out, blood spilling out of her lap and onto the floor. Her light was fading, and before too long she dropped Gall, falling to her knees. "Fucking hell."
SilverSongYesterday at 10:46 PM
Belle kicked the shield over to Macey before walking to Gall,”You missed movie night, Gall.....I found a great bootleg of the original cast for Heathers and we were gonna watch it and talk about how much we hate ourselves....” She says, the dark blue staff slowly turning the same color as her magic. She was trying to pull him out of whatever was eating him,”I don’t wanna hurt you.”
TreeYesterday at 10:48 PM
Gall turns to look at her still clutching his head as tears pour down his face as he gets pained tearful expression on his face "I-It hurts B-Belle...e-everything h-hurts." He says his voice sounding weak and strained as if he was straining to speak from far away
Queen MotherYesterday at 10:48 PM
"Keep hurting his- Gah- Emotions." Miss Macey rasped. She was laying down now, jaws working up and down as she tried to suck in air, but it was very evident she would die from her wound, and within seconds, she had stopped moving. It would take at least ten minutes for that life to end, and for her next life to start up.
SilverSongYesterday at 10:53 PM
She starts to sing a low, sad sounding song. “Doubt comes in And strips the paint Doubt comes in And turns the wine Doubt comes in and leaves a trace Of vinegar and turpentine Where are you? Where are you now? Doubt comes in And kills the lights Doubt comes in And chills the air Doubt comes in and all falls silent It’s as though you aren’t there Where are you? Where are you now?” As she sings, magic seeps from the staff and watery tendrils wrap around Gall, they were cold but it was a soothing cold. The emotion of the song was seeping into whatever power was trying to take Gall. At the same time, more water washed over Macey and began to heal her wounds.
TreeYesterday at 10:57 PM
Gall begins to calm down as his body begins to steam as some of the changes to his body began to reverse, his claws grew shorter, the long mane of hair shrunk down until it only went down to his shoulders, however no matter much magic she applied to Gall, he wouldn't turn back to normal. The only thing that changed was his eye turned back to its usual yellow however now his eye looked more like a cat's pupil.
SilverSongYesterday at 11:01 PM
Belle stopped singing and hugged Gall tightly.
TreeYesterday at 11:02 PM
Gall weakly hugs her back as he begins to shake and sob softly into her shoulder "I-I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He mutters over and over again as he sobs softly
SilverSongYesterday at 11:03 PM
“Shhhh, it’s ok, Bro.” She says gently, glaring at Millicent.
TreeYesterday at 11:06 PM
Millicent steps back from them in shock as she stares at Gall who eventually slowly pulls away from Belle's hug "D-Deary? Deary please listen to your grandmother...Gallius Hinikuni you will obey m-" She orders as Gall slowly walks over to her only to be cut off as Gall's hand is shoved through her chest as she stares at him in shock and mutters a faint "D-Deary...?" Before falling dead on the ground as Gall turns and begins to walk back to Belle before collapsing onto his knees
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:07 PM
Miss Macey's giant angelic form shuddered once as her life was restored to her, and she groaned as she began to stir. Her neck wound was closed up when she rose back to her feet, creating what looked like a giant, angelic bow, or perhaps a strange harp. She notched an astral arrow into it and pointed it at Gall. "Is he... fixed?" she asked, speaking only to Belle's thoughts.
SilverSongYesterday at 11:09 PM
‘In a sense....’ She thought back, hugging him tightly and doing her best to comfort him.
TreeYesterday at 11:09 PM
Gall weakly looks up at Macey and chuckles softly "Guess I'm not the only one who looks fucked up right now huh?" He mutters to her with a weak smile before passing out in Belle's arms as Garry slowly came to and sees Gall passed out and rushes over to him "I-Is he okay?!
SilverSongYesterday at 11:10 PM
“I think so....How about you? Anything broken, sprained, or bruised?”
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:11 PM
"I died, and you're asking if he's okay? Does he look okay??" Miss Macey snarled, lowering her weapon and gliding over to them. Her giant form crouched over the three smaller monsters, and her eyes began to water again. "C-Can I have him, please?"
SilverSongYesterday at 11:11 PM
She nods and holds him out to her.“In fairness, I did try to save you. It just wouldn’t take.”
TreeYesterday at 11:13 PM
"A bit of a headache but otherwise ok- IS HE MISSING A HAND?!" He says as Gall is passed over to Macey as he weakly wraps his arms around Myle and a faint "I'm sorry for missing date night..." could be heard
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:14 PM
Miss Macey choked back a sob as she gently took Gall in her hands and pressed him to her chest. She began to shrink down out of her True form as she remembered to replace her Glamour and her hexes, and when she was back to normal size she hugged him as close as she could, crying and kissing on his face feverishly. "I'm sorry I cut off your hand, babe. I'll get you a new one." she promised through her tears.
SilverSongYesterday at 11:20 PM
Belle looked down at the bloody mess and followed the trail of blood back to Millicent, she went over to the body and stared at it quizzically,”What were you talking about, Lady?” She said out loud.
TreeYesterday at 11:24 PM
She coughs weakly and takes a moment to stare at Belle "Y-You really don't know about your kind...a-about the Knowones?" She asks weakly her life slowly fading as blood drips out of her wound
SilverSongYesterday at 11:26 PM
She raised an eyebrow, Dahl had said that name before, she just thought he was insulting her,”No Ma’am. But it seems I won’t be getting answers from you.”
TreeYesterday at 11:27 PM
She chuckles weakly as she slowly shakes her head "Deary...you're not listening, they are called the Knowones. You must learn to listen when an elder is speaking..."
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:28 PM
"Hey, Genius. She's saying it like to 'Know' something. Know-One." Miss Macey sniffled. She was ugly-crying all over Gall's, poor thing.
SilverSongYesterday at 11:30 PM
“I get it.” She said flatly before looking back at Millicent,”I would ask questions, but I don’t think you have much time left.”
TreeYesterday at 11:32 PM
Gall was out cold in her arms blood tears dripping down his cheeks, he looked a bit pale as his dismembered arm hung limply from his side as Millicent chuckles and nods "Yes deary I'm afraid I can't answer your questions, but as a parting gift, feel free to look through my room there are a few books that mention your kind in there...and if possible...tell my dear Millie...I'm sorry..." She mutters before she finally passes as Garry glares at her "As if she would accept your apology after what you've done to her son..."
SilverSongYesterday at 11:34 PM
“I’ll tell her.....May judgment be fair to thee.” She says in a shockingly respectful tone.
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:35 PM
"Hey, where....w-where's my baby's hand? I need to put it back on his arm before he bleeds out." Miss Macey sniffed, pressing her muzzle to Gall's head in a strange sort of kiss.
SilverSongYesterday at 11:37 PM
Belle turns around and picks up the severed hand,”Here it is.” Something in her head told her to use her teeth, she gives the hand to Macey before digging around in her purse,”Here’s a first aid kit, too.”
TreeYesterday at 11:39 PM
"I uhh should I call the cops or something? I feel like they should clear this place out or something, anyone know a cop?" Garry asks as he watches Gall get patched up nervously
SilverSongYesterday at 11:39 PM
“My boyfriend’s a cop.”
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:41 PM
"I got a few crooked ones on the eastside." Miss Macey offered, taking the hand and the first aid kit. She started a simple, but very much illegal spell to stitch Gall's hand back on and reconnect the sinews, tendons, and muscles. It wasn't the best job in the word, but in a few days he'd have his hand back to normal in no time. Possibly with side effects.(edited)
SilverSongYesterday at 11:43 PM
Belle reaches into her purse once again and pulls out a small vial, she pushes her fang against the edge and shimmering gold liquid came out. It filled a little of it and Belle looked surprised,”I didn’t think that’d do anything. Here, this might help him recover.” She held out the vial of Gold Venom to Macey.
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:48 PM
Miss Macey had a very sudden, shocking realization, and she hissed through her teeth as she took the vial. "Oohhhh my god you're Cadie-bugs sister. Holy shit." she whispered, tilting the vial to Gall's mouth and tipping in a single drop. "Jesus fucking hell. Holy fuck nuts. Damn. What??? What- You're a- okay."
SilverSongYesterday at 11:49 PM
“You know Arcadia? She’s actually my cousin.”
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:49 PM
"She's my druauaaa Driving Instructor, she helps me get used to a new car whenever I buy one." Miss Macey said quickly. "Yeah, I know her."
SilverSongYesterday at 11:50 PM
“So that’s what she does. Huh.” She said with a shrug.
TreeYesterday at 11:52 PM
"Think she could teach me how to drive?" Gall groans as he finally starts to wake up "Cause after today I'm not walking anywhere ever again..."
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:53 PM
"Baby cakes!!!" Miss Macey gasped, crushing his face into her boobs and starting to cry all over again. "Oh thank god!! I thought I was gonna lose you for a minute!"
SilverSongYesterday at 11:53 PM
She half laughed,”Sure. I’ll see what she can do, Bro Bro.”
TreeYesterday at 11:55 PM
Gall struggled to breathe as he weakly flails trying to get Miss Macey to loosen her grip before finally pulling himself free and gasping for air "G-Guess you really missed me huh?" He says trying to tease her before he tears up and gives her a sad smile "I-I'm sorry for worrying your honey" He mutters before hugging her tightly
SilverSongYesterday at 11:56 PM
“I’ll give you two a minute. C’mon, Garry, let’s give them some space.”
TreeYesterday at 11:57 PM
Garry nods as he sighs softly and gets to his feet "Uhh didn't the old bitch mention some books you might want? Maybe we should search her room for them, so at least some good can come from all this."
SilverSongYesterday at 11:57 PM
“My thoughts exactly.”
Queen MotherYesterday at 11:59 PM
"You ever scare me like that again and I'm turning you into a vintage leather purse for a week." Miss Macey said as she shifted and helped Gall to his feet. "Oh, my darling demon, what did she do to you?" she whimpered, cupping his face gently with her hands.
October 15, 2018
TreeToday at 12:04 AM
He groans softly as he shakily gets to his feet "From what I'm starting to remember nothing out of the ordinary for her. Just trying to tap into my buried demonic powers and turn me into a killing machine under her control. You know just normal Grandmotherly things." He says with a sarcastic chuckle before he gives her a sad and slightly scared look "I was almost too far gone, Macey. I-I felt like everything that was me was being burned away. E-Everything hurt, a-all I could see was darkness, I-I felt like any moment I would be swallowed whole and then I would be gone...no more Gall just a monster..." He says as tears stream down his face as he shakes softly
SilverSongToday at 12:08 AM
Belle could hear this as she and Garry walked to Millicent’s room. She wanted to put this whole ordeal behind her.
Queen MotherToday at 12:10 AM
"If it makes you feel any better, you snapped out if without having to kill yourself or anyone else." she said, leaving out the fact that he had accidentally rippd her throat open. "You're okay now, sweetie..." she purred softly, hugging him against her gently and running a calming hand up and down his back. "Hey... you want a double Gordita crunch wrap from Haco Taco?" she asked him. "You love those!"
TreeToday at 12:13 AM
"Make it three, I haven't eaten since yesterday." He says not realizing he's actually not eaten for two days since he lost a day while under his grandmother's control "...A-Also..c-can I stay at your place tonight? I-I don't feel safe being alone right now. I-If not I can ask Belle or Garry if it's too much of a hassle." - Garry also listened from outside clenching his fists tightly as he tries to control his anger. He was supposed to be Gall's best friend, the one who would keep him safe, yet he couldn't even keep him safe from a senior citizen. He tried to distract himself before searching through the room as he tosses books off the shelf over his shoulder in Belle's general direction "Any of these any good?"
SilverSongToday at 12:16 AM
“I have no idea. My best option is to take everything and study it at home where I’ve got my own protective wards set up.” She says, placing her purse on a nearby table and opening it. Looking inside, you could see absolutely nothing......not even a bottom to the relatively small handbag.
Queen MotherToday at 12:17 AM
"Of course you can stay the night with me!" Miss Macey huffed. "Please, after this? You aren't leaving my sight unless it's to go pee. Got that?"
TreeToday at 12:21 AM
"Yes ma'am." He says with a large grin as he hugs her tightly "Just uhh...can you keep your doctor stuff in a closet or something? I think I just finally figured out why I'm scared of needles." He says turning around to point at various tools and needles on a nearby table unaware that on his back carved in with a knife was the very demonic symbol that had was on the floor, slightly ruined by the two demonic wings folded up on his backGarry glances over her shoulder into the bag as he gets a curious look on his face "How deep does this bag go?" He asks before fishing a quarter out of his pocket and dropping it in
SilverSongToday at 12:23 AM
“Not sure. Think of it as a Bag of Holding. As long as I can carry it, it’ll hold it.” She says, looking over the titles,”It’s heavy, so it’s hard to steal. Go ahead, try picking it up.”
Queen MotherToday at 12:24 AM
"Do you want to keep those wings?" Miss Macey asked, hoisting Gall into her arms and heading for the cellar door to get out. "I can have a surgeon get them off if you don't want them."
TreeToday at 12:25 AM
He gives her a confused look before glancing back over his shoulder and flexing his wings "Wait when did I-? Right right demonic stuff and uhh I think I'll keep them. Like I said, I'm not walking anywhere after this so if they work then I'm flying."Garry nods and goes to try and pick up the bag one handed as he grunts and struggles to even lift it as he uses both hands and can barely lift it even a quarter of an inch off the table(edited)
SilverSongToday at 12:28 AM
She makes an amused sound,”Try seeing some scrawny purse snatcher take that.” She joked before grabbing an armful of books,”I might take some journals, if there are any. That way I can see what Granny Quack was up to.”
TreeToday at 12:29 AM
"Sounds like a good idea." He says with a nod before peeking out into the hall and seeing Gall and Macey heading towards the door "Here let's load up, looks like the lovebirds are trying to ditch us"
Queen MotherToday at 12:30 AM
"I will smoke your liver through my crackpipe hairball." Miss Macey growled. "Watch yourself..."
SilverSongToday at 12:31 AM
Belle snorts,”It’s been grand meeting you....though, I would’ve preferred better circumstances.”
TreeToday at 12:34 AM
Gall gets a look of realization as he looks between the two of them "OH right I uhh forget to introduce you guys. Bit late but I might as well do it now. Guys this is Myle Macey, my girlfriend. Myle this is Belle and Garry Charles. My Brother and sister...who are very understanding and won't tell either of my mothers what happened here today?" He says as he notices Garry crossing his arms and giving him a stern frown
SilverSongToday at 12:34 AM
“I make no promises.”
TreeToday at 12:36 AM
"Me neither." He says with a frown as Gall sweats nervously and chuckles nervously "H-heh heh well uhh I'm tired hungry and I'd really like to lie down how about we head home before we have to answer any questions!" He says quickly
Queen MotherToday at 12:36 AM
"How about they go to their homes and I take you home with me." Miss Macey suggested sternly, though her tone implied that it was more of a command.
SilverSongToday at 12:37 AM
“Fair enough. I’m packing up these books and bringing them to my place.”She finishes putting the books into her bag and closes it. She picks it up and goes to grab the staff.
TreeToday at 12:39 AM
"I think I'm gonna head home too, I need a nap. Gall call me later when you get home safe."
Queen MotherToday at 12:39 AM
"Well, Gall's friends, it was a pleasure meeting you." the white cat said as she cuddled Gall closer. "Unfortunately I hope I never have to see your faces again. Especially you, Hairball."
TreeToday at 12:41 AM
"Likewise Hairball, remember what I said." He says cracking his knuckles threateningly as Gall sighs "So much for introducing the love of my life to my friends." He mutters softly under his breath
SilverSongToday at 12:43 AM
Belle walks over,”Don’t be so optimistic.” She joked,”Hopefully, I’ll have answers. Either to your questions or mine.” She glanced down and saw that Macey still had Hecate’s magic bag,”Huh, you didn’t need it.....Might wanna hold onto that for later.”
Queen MotherToday at 12:51 AM
"Oh, definitely." she sneered. "God-tier items? No way I'm losing it."
SilverSongToday at 12:52 AM
Belle’s ears twitch and she looks into the room where Millicent is, she sees the Ares Shield disappearing,”I guess Ares needed his shield back.”
TreeToday at 12:55 AM
"Not like I had much use for a shield." Garry says with a shrug "I would probably end up using it as a plate and that would probably just piss him off" "You know you wouldn't have to do that if you washed some dishes." Gall says with a frown "Like how you haven't picked up your laundry in weeks now?" He says as Gall frantically tries to shush him
SilverSongToday at 12:57 AM
Belle just rolled her eyes, moving her bangs from her blind eye to scratch under it for a second,”Let’s go, before my adrenaline fueled brain remembers it’s afraid of dead bodies and copious amounts of blood.”
The End.
[Gall is now available for questions again]
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