#miss got me swooned and doomed

[drdepper]

Decided to FINALLY design Ellis's Glorious Masquerade fit. I put in a lot of little details, as she is this Twisted version of Alice.

[mi-rae07]

Park Seonghwa : Home

Pairing : Park Seonghwa (Ateez) and named character (Park Soojin) 

[Except they’re siblings]

________________

A/n : For a special friend of mine. 

_________________

Soojin : I really don't understand why I must get expelled while those other students get to remain in this school, principal.

Principal : are you talking back to me, miss park?

Soojin : I'm asking you a valid question-

The principal cut her off with a scoff as he harshly opened the door to his room, sitting down on his chair with a loud thud. Soojin let out a breath and sat on the chair oppsite the principal's, inspecting the small cut on her upper left arm.

Principal : I've called your brother.

Soojin's eyes widened, quickly letting go of her arm before looking up at the principal with alarmed eyes

Soojin : what? Why! Sir, if I'm going to get expelled anyway, then why must you call my brother-

Principal : because you have no parents. And he is your guardian.

Soojin let out a breath, falling back against her chair as she muttered under her breath

Soojin : this is so stupid.

Principal : what did you just say?

Soojin : that this is stupid. What, are you going to expel me again?

The principal glared at soojin, making her fold her arms as she looked away in dismay. The worst had happened, her older brother had been summonded to talk to the principal about her expulsion. So now not only was she going to have to face embarassment from the students in school, she was also going to have to face park seonghwa's wrath.

She was truly doomed.

Soojin looked up as the door to the principal's room burst open, revealing a panting seonghwa. As soon as his eyes landed on soojin's, it turned to a glare, making her look away.

Principal : mr park, hello.

Seonghwa bowed and entered the room, sitting next to soojin slowly. She didn't dare look him in the eye.

Seonghwa : has something happened, sir?

Principal : very much so. Your ward has gotten into a fight with 3 other students in this school, breaking one of the boy's arm, another boy's nose and the girl's leg.

Seonghwa's eyes widened, a small gasp leaving his lips as he looked at soojin. Her head remained lowered, her eyes trained on her skirt that was filled with mud and dirt.

Seonghwa : sir-

Principal : she's getting expelled.

Seonghwa : no, please. I…I can pay you money, or anything else that is required. If you expel her from this school, it would be hard for her to get in anywhere else.

Principal : and that is the whole point, mr park. Do you not realize how serious the situation is?

Seonghwa let out a breath, his hands clenching on his sides as he asked

Seonghwa : and her grades?

Principal : equally worse. She's never been an ideal student, mr park. Failing most of her classes and barely passing the others. She has no talent of any sort either. Has not participated in any extra curricular activities and is at the lowest rank in studies as well. But we still kept her, believing someday she would break open her shell. But now she's caused her fellow students harm. We cannot keep her here any longer, I'm afraid.

Seonghwa : there is no hope, then.

Principal : none.

Seonghwa sighed and stood up, bowing down before saying

Seonghwa : I apologize sincerely on her behalf, sir. And I will apologize to the harmed students as well on my way out.

Soojin hated how seonghwa had to apologize for something that wasn't even her fault to begin with. The principal nodded, a grim look on his face.

Seonghwa : get up, park soojin.

Soojin sighed and got up, not bothering to even look at the principal as she walked out of his room with her brother by her side. As she walked through the hallways, the students stared at her in pure scrutiny, some of them swooning over seonghwa in the process. But his face remained cold.

Soojin : oppa-

Seonghwa : do not utter a word.

Soojin sighed and lowered her head, deciding that it would be a bad idea to talk to seonghwa when he was this angry. They soon walked into the infirmary, seonghwa's eyes widening at the sight of the three kids lying on three different beds with bandages around them. Soojin had a pleased look on her face.

Seonghwa : I am soojin's older brother, park seonghwa. I wish to apologize for the deeds that my sister has done today.

The parents did not utter a word, each of them looking furious. Seonghwa bowed down in front of them, motioning soojin to do the same with angry ushering eyes. She rolled her eyes and bowed down as well, mumbling a small apology. Seonghwa soon handed over money to each parent from his purse, telling them it was for the hospital fee.

And soon enough seonghwa and soojin were on their way back home in his car, still not having exchanged a single word.

Soojin : am I not even allowed to explain?

Seonghwa : explain why you beat up some kids, soojin?

Soojin : well, that must have a reason too, would it not?

Seonghwa : park soojin, do you realize that we are struggling?

Soojin looked away, her hands folded in her lap as seonghwa drove past the school gates.

Seonghwa : we do not have parents, and I have to work 6 different jobs on a daily basis to so much as pay our bills and get us a proper meal. Do you think that comes easy to me?

Soojin : oppa-

Seonghwa : all you had to do, was sit and fucking study! That is what I keep working so hard for! And you had to ruin the one thing that you're supposed to do, and wasted a shit ton of my money because YOU COULDN'T CONTROL YOURSELF!

Soojin : but they were bullying a kid, oppa. I couldn't just stand there-

Seonghwa : so you beat them instead?

Soojin let out a breath, looking away. He was being unfair. Anyone would have done the same thing soojin did today.

Seonghwa : you're being a brat, park soojin. All that I have done for you and this is how you repay me.

Soojin : stop, I don’t want to hear any of this any longer.

Seonghwa : are you being serious? SOOJIN-

Soojin : I HAVE A HARD LIFE TOO SEONGHWA!

Seonghwa paused at her outburst, turning to look at soojin who scoffed and said

Soojin : you think I have it any easier? High school isn't easy, oppa. And the fact that everyone knows I'm poor, isn't really easy either. Not being smart enough, or talented enough IS NOT EASY! I got bullied throughout middle school because of where I came from. So then how can you expect me to just sit and watch while someone does the same thing another person did to me to a fellow student?

Seonghwa : you…you were bullied?

Seonghwa stopped the car right in front of their apartment.

Soojin : yes, but you wouldn't know, would you? You don’t even have time to have a single meal with me. You're right, I'm an orphan. But you know what else I am? A useless piece of shit who feels like I have no one in this world. That's how you make me feel, oppa.

Before seonghwa could open his mouth soojin opened the car door and walked to the lobby of their apartment, tears streaming down her cheeks.

____________________________

10 years ago :

Seonghwa was now sitting outside the hospital room where his parent's bodies were kept under the sheets, tears streaming down his cheeks as small whimpers wrecked his body. They had been declared dead an hour ago, and seonghwa still couldn't wrap his head around the entire incident.

His parents, dead. All because of a debt they were unable to pay. His family had owned a bank, and his father had apparently taken a huge loan that had backfired. All his assets were gone now, leaving seonghwa with nothing, but worry and despair. And maybe a few hundred dollars from his own savings. And he knew none of his relatives would help seonghwa, they all hated his father equally.

Seonghwa was all alone in this world now.

??? : oppa!

Seonghwa looked to the side as the sight of his younger sister came into his view, a worried look on her small chubby face. Seonghwa quickly wiped his tears away, regaining his posture as he smiled and bent down on the ground, opening his arms for her. Soojin ran up to him, letting go of her aunt's hand as she crashed into seonghwa's arms. Seonghwa inhaled deeply and wrapped his arms around her small body, bringing her close to him.

Soojin : e-eomma and appa?

Seonghwa shut his eyes tightly.

Seonghwa : they're gone.

Soojin : so…so then the both of us?

Seonghwa : well, we remain, soojin-ah. We're going to have to live without them from now.

Seonghwa looked up as his aunt and uncle walked closer to him, looking down at him in pity. He hated pity.

Aunt : seonghwa-ya, what are you going to do now? Shall we admit the both of you into an orphanage-

Seonghwa : no. no orphanages, and no foster care. I will take care of soojin from now.

Uncle : but you're still in school, seonghwa.

Seonghwa's eyes hardened, a fierce look in his eyes as he held his sister close to him protectively

Seonghwa : I will manage my own life, uncle. You need not worry. Maybe if you'd shown this same care and worry when my parents were in debt, none of this would've happened.

The two adults in front of him held regret in their eyes, but that was of no use to seonghwa now. And so he lifted soojin up in his arms, her one arm wrapping around his neck as seonghwa said

Seonghwa : we do not need your help any longer. What comes to us now, I will face it alone. And as for soojin.

Seonghwa looked at his sister who was staring at him with wide teary eyes, seonghwa giving her a small comforting smile as he declared

Seonghwa : I will raise her now.

______________________________

A few days later :

Seonghwa was now sitting along with soojin in front of their parent's graves, both of them in black attire. Soojin had tears streaming down her eyes, while seonghwa's eyes were now hard and cold. As it had been since he knew the truth.

Soojin : what will happen to us now, oppa?

Seonghwa had warded off the few relatives that had come to him out of pity, asking whether he needed their help. He did not, he wouldn't accept any of their help even if he was this close to dying. He hated everyone in this world, everyone except for his little sister.

Seonghwa : nothing's going to happen to us, soojin-ah. We're going to be fine.

Soojin : really?

Seonghwa : mhmm. You'll go to school, and I'll work to provide food and clothes.

Soojin : don't you have to go to school, then?

Seonghwa : not really, no. school won't pay any of our bills.

Seonghwa turned to face soojin, taking both her hands in his as he bent down to face her

Seonghwa : I'm going to be your guardian now, soojin-ah. Do you know what that means?

Soojin shook her head, a small pout on her lips.

Seonghwa : that means you can tell me anything now. Anything that bothers you, anything that you want, anything you wish to do, whatever. I'm going to make everything happen for you, no matter what.

Soojin stared at seonghwa, her lips pressed together. Seonghwa smiled and wiped her tears before saying

Seonghwa : all you have to do is stay happy and healthy for me. Study well, and do what you have to do in school. Oppa will handle the rest.

Soojin nodded, a small smile on her lips now. Seonghwa held his pinky out for her before saying

Seonghwa : promise me, then. That you will study hard and prove everyone wrong one day.

Soojin nodded and connected her pinky with her brother's, the wind blowing on them both as the flowers kept on their parent's grave fluttered.

Soojin : I promise.

Seonghwa smiled and ruffled her hair before standing up, holding soojin's small hand in his large ones.

Seonghwa : let's go home.

And a 13 year old seonghwa led his little sister back to their new home, a much poorer and smaller version of their old house. But neither of them cared, because for them, home was where they were both together.

And that was also the day seonghwa had decided on something, he was going to protect his little sister at all costs. And soojin's little mind had decided too, that she was going to make her brother proud someday.

_______________________________

Present time :

Seonghwa entered his apartment after another long day at work, a flower boquet in his hands. He knew how much his sister loved these, and he felt unhappy every time he realized it was too expensive for him to afford. But today was different, he could care less if this one boquet drained his wallet off of a month's rent.

He was going to find a way out of that too, as he always have been for the past few years.

Seonghwa could hear small noises from inside soojin's room as he walked towards it with tired steps. His eyes landed on soojin as soon as he opened the door, an earphone plugged into both her ears as she laid on the floor with her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling above her.

Seonghwa sighed, keeping the boquet aside before walking up to soojin. She took his earphones off as soon as she saw him, sitting up straight with confused eyes.

Soojin : what are you doing here?

Seonghwa : I'm going to be with my sister for a while, what else?

Soojin looked away, keeping her half shattered phone away. Soojin knew her brother went for work at 6am and came back only at 2pm. She didn't understand why he was already home when it was only 9pm.

Soojin : don't you have work?

Seonghwa : I ditched it for you tonight.

He hoped they didn’t fire him.

Soojin : oppa-

Seonghwa : you told me I never even have a meal with you, right? I wanted to change that tonight.

Soojin : you don’t have to do such things for me.

Seonghwa : yes I do, I'm your older brother.

Soojin sighed, fumbling with her hands as she looked away. Seonghwa looked on the floor, his eyes lowered as he muttered

Seonghwa : I'm sorry I'm not enough.

Soojin's head shot up at that. Did he really think that way now?

Soojin : what?

Seonghwa : I'm sorry I can't give you the things you deserve, soojin-ah. Our parents…they loved you, a lot. You were their treasure ever since you were born. They told me they were going to give you the world. The best of dresses, the best of education, the best of everything. And they told me that no matter what, if anything happens to them someday, then I were to do that for you. Give their daughter the entire world.

Soojin felt tears fill up her eyes. She had only been 6 years old when her parents had died in a car crash. But seonghwa had only been 13 as well.

Soojin : oppa you-

Seonghwa : but I have failed. Forget the world, I can't even give you proper food everyday.

Soojin stared at her brother, tears visible in his eyes. And seonghwa never cried in front of her.

Seonghwa : I'm sorry I failed our parents, soojin. And I'm sorry I failed you as a brother. I should have studied harder, worked harder, but I…I failed.

Soojin shook her head desperately, wrapping her arms around her brother before bringing him close. Seonghwa cried onto her shoulders, clutching the back of her dress in his hands as he shut his eyes tightly.

Soojin : don't you dare say that. You've given me the best you can, oppa. And that's all that I ever need. I don't care about pretty dresses or pretty houses, I just want a happy, peaceful life. And you provide me that.

Seonghwa cried harder at her words, tears streaming down soojin's cheeks as well. She hated how seonghwa thought of himself.

Soojin : you're the best brother anyone could ask for. No one in this world could ever do all the things that you've done for me. You sacrifice your happiness and your health to make my life comfortable and I could never thank you enough for any of that. You're everything to me, oppa, you're my entire fucking world.

Seonghwa had never heard words like that from anyone, not even from his own parents.

Soojin : I'm going to study hard from now, oppa. And one day, when I make enough money, I'm going to give you, the world. If I was our parents' princess, you were their prince. And you deserve everything a prince would get. All the work that you do for me now, I will pay it back to you someday. I promise.

Seonghwa smiled before whispering

Seonghwa : I don’t need anything back for any of this. Your happiness is more than enough.

Soojin sobbed at his words as seonghwa patted her back softly.

Soojin : I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for hitting those kids. I shouldn't have-

Seonghwa : no, it's okay. Because honestly? I think they quite deserved it. But I was just too angry to tell you then.

Soojin chuckled as seonghwa pulled back with a smile and wiped her tears with the cuff of his shirt

Seonghwa : I never knew you were that strong to break people's bones, though. My little princess has grown up a lot, hasn't she?

Soojin giggled, looking up at her brother with literal stars in her eyes. God, the things they could do for each other.

Seonghwa : next time you see someone bullying someone, hit them back harder. Don't just break their nose, break a minimum of 4 bones, in the least.

Soojin : oppa!

Seonghwa : and if anyone says anything against that, I'll handle the rest for you.

Soojin chuckled, lacing her hands with seonghwa's.

Seonghwa : you work so hard every day, and I'll always be proud of that. Because you're everything to me, soojin-ah. I would give my life to protect yours.

Soojin : I love you too.

Seonghwa chuckled and patted her cheeks, nodding towards the boquet of Madonna lilies.

Seonghwa : I bought you lilies.

Soojin gasped as she rushed towards them, smelling the flowers with a huge smile on her face. This was all that seonghwa had wanted to see.

Seonghwa : they stand for healing. I saw the cut on your arm. And trust me, if it weren't for those parents in the infirmary, I would've broken a few more bones.

Soojin laughed, running her hands along the flowers as she whispered

Soojin : they're so pretty.

Seonghwa : you're prettier.

Says the man who was gawked by every single person who laid their eyes on him.

Soojin : ayy, look who's talking.

Seonghwa giggled, walking up to soojin and holding her hand in his

Seonghwa : shall we have dinner now, sister?

Soojin smiled, leaning forward and kissing seonghwa's cheek before saying

Soojin : that we shall, brother.

________________________________

[anitrendz]

REVIEW: I’m the Villainess, so I’m Taming the Final Boss AKA My Guilty Pleasure

Season aired: Fall 2022

Number of episodes: 12

Watched on: Crunchyroll

Translated by: ?

Genres: Fantasy, Romance, Comedy

Thoughts: I’m the Villainess, so I’m Taming the Final Boss is my guilty pleasure of the season. While others immediately assumed the story would be a carbon copy of a prior villainess anime, I knew that would not be the case. Despite the lack of female-led isekai anime, I’ve enjoyed each one I’ve watched more than male-led isekai due to the variety of plots, characters, and themes. I knew that this one would resemble nothing of My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom aside from the premise, and I was right.

After her fiancé rejects her in favor of another girl, Aileen awakens her past memories as a sickly girl in her previous life. Unable to live freely like everyone else, she spent her days playing games – one of which was an otome game. After dying, she is reincarnated as the ill-fated Aileen, the antagonist of the otome game who suffers a humiliating death after the rejection of her fiancé. Indignant at the prospect of dying before her time again, Aileen sets a course of action to marry the demon lord, Claude, instead. Claude was the final antagonist of the otome game. Why shouldn’t two villains team up and live their lives to the fullest together?

I like I’m the Villainess, so I’m Taming the Final Boss for several reasons. Aileen’s an incredible protagonist who is determined, intelligent, and funny. She’s got quite the business- and political-minded brain, and she’s very active in taking what she wants and going where she wants to go. Claude is an attractive male love interest that my inner teenager couldn’t help but swoon. The world is larger than one would expect with multiple kingdoms and different cultures. There are plot twists that, despite my experience in watching anime, continue to surprise me.

Nevertheless, the anime is mediocre. Many of the things I praise above are directly due to the source material — not what the adaptation brings to the table. In fact, the adaptation brings down the story instead due to its irregular pacing and subpar animation.

The anime fits three separate arcs in just 12 episodes, and each arc has enough material to easily fit a 12-episode format. Things happen at breakneck speed, and the ending of each arc is wrapped up like someone speedreading through the narration.

This bad pacing hurts the first arc more than anything else, because the first arc is about the development of romance between Aileen and Claude. In just four episodes, they fall in love despite the fact that Claude has every reason to be suspicious of Aileen. She’s a stranger once formally engaged to his estranged younger half-brother who marched up the doorsteps to his demonic castle and demanded the two get married without any explanations. Since the first arc’s purpose is to establish character dynamics without as much plot, speeding through that development makes the characters feel shallower and the relationships forced. Although I like Aileen and Claude’s interactions, I still can’t help but feel like something is missing.

While not as evident in the later arcs due to plot, the rushed pacing does sacrifice the supporting characters and their respective dynamics, as well. Villains who take a turn seem to become better people out of nowhere. Other romances between supporting characters don’t fully make sense. Worst of all, it doesn’t even give proper time for a well-waited reunion between the two main characters of the series. Yet, the fact that I still enjoyed the underlying story and characters prove that the anime could’ve done so much more.

The visuals and animation struggled from beginning to end. The character faces are flat, the world looks like a children’s cartoon in a non-purposeful way, and the most animation we ever see are the characters running and walking. To hide the lack of animation, the anime will often switch back and forth between angles and perspectives that conveniently skip over movement. The technique works in the first few instances, but it becomes increasingly obvious as the anime depends on it.

The only two technical aspects the series does well are the music and the voice acting. The music is dramatic with orchestral accompaniment, perfect for the comedic dramatism of the series. The soundtrack even includes duck noises, a hilarious motif that directly ties to one of the funniest running jokes in the entire series.

With a cast of award-winning seiyuus, the voice acting remains on-point from beginning to end. Rie Takahashi was perfect as the rambunctious, intelligent, and funny Aileen with her flexibility to deepen her voice which came in handy in the second arc. Yuichiro Umehara’s distinctly deep and silky voice helped elevate Claude’s skipped development, lackluster facial expressions, and lack of movement. Despite Claude’s eyes staring straight ahead emotionlessly in several pivotal scenes, it’s the voice acting that portrays exasperation, surprise, or fear. Tomokazu Sugita is unrecognizable as Almond, an adorable crow demon, and Jun Fukuyama always nails suspicious yet silly characters like Keith.

So, despite my critiques of the anime itself, I actually end this series with a lot of hope. While I’m the Villainess, so I’m Taming the Final Boss didn’t perform to my expectations, its ability to still win me over every Saturday with its story and characters is proof of something bigger: female-led isekai are worth adapting. Perhaps this is just the beginning to a new phase of isekai, where we will be able to enjoy many female-led isekai with even better adaptations.

Rating

Plot: 7 (Multiplier 3.5)

Characters: 7 (Multiplier 3.5)

Voice acting: 8

Art/Animation: 5

Soundtrack: 7.5

FINAL SCORE: 69.5

[suicideandcheese]

Therapies, Blur-Betweens, Soul Sessions

Within the ever-lives, breaths of livening, live-ins, left And in, I am undone, done to so many, done to go on right Merry. This cascading weight of reality now, the unforgiven, Moreso foreboding, ominous dilemmas of inconclusion. Forgive me, but don’t. I am without my masks again, no, They fit to express things, namely, the nothingness bewitching Souls are just a plaything, perhaps? Expressions in embodiments. When I glide my fingers along the wall, I feel textures like I’ve missed. The context behind universal depression is just this: force. Me not, Au contraire, every time. You can make me but you can’t take me Baby, we’re all in it for the could. Potential is a helluva drug. Lines burn Through my knows. It’s just another late night, lasting. Presence And how it grows. Until it’s absent. I find so much to be in not being. Have you dreamed lately? It’s how there is another, an other, otherly. Alienistic, dwelling without sun nor moon, but a base unknown; home. The things I’ve contracted just trying to be alone. All in all, gods Make us seem well. Enough of the contribution, they’ve said it all. We tear the silence apart and make our suns spit out a moon. It’s barely there, this, things, this moon, this hush. Silver is light You cannot believe what it looks like — shhh we all become shhh. How bright, how lonesome, how altogether quietly loud light. I need you now, to be this bright. This is how we sing like unsung Sung-light. I like your noose. Pshhh, we are forever in dooms. Sadly Pretty, like once were moons. Goddamn, you bleed like a trap. Idk how to proceed, but offer me a quietude. How familiar things Find god in the all-but-hmm. We never had a chance. This is all taken Down. Quiet now, we are live. After-night, over-night, forever-knight. I miss you, somewhere. With an always, with a hazy maybe. I miss This. Forever centuries trying to keep us down. Cry a little, blessed. I’m staying down. We look like shit but I keep it down. I said we Look like shit but we shit-keep the downs. I hate this. I get lonely Around the hell provided, available, apparent, mm, it’s all there. Now we can die in littles. This, this, missed, no more. I am still Here, forever, watch me, I go on like the cowardice of dogmas. Deep down, try to hurt me, I’ve done better. My armor is just Your hell mixed with heaven trying too well. We unbecome. We die in certainties of perfect cells. Do not question the wrists. If I wanted to die, would I, surely, like a sure thingish thing. Extra moist, extra wrists, all the blood, all the blood, nothing To let go of but how soon, doom, you gloom-swoon, doom. Damned, and good. And I believe in it. But no one dies under Me. We don’t die. We shit shits and kill killers. We— Kill me a certain je ne sai quois, I don’t care, try. Daresay, You got me and you got me played. Man-damned, the bliss Never shows. Never tries. Never arises. But you will expel piss Under belligerent moons. The sliver is hostile like a gun's chambers. Imagine clicking with death that good. Bullets worry me disorders. Years on this birth, earth giving me the go-ahead to seek ruin. The suns I've seen, blind spots keep me cyclops blind. Feel-warms Instinctive within the skin, lunar hours approaching. Sight Seer. Gut compass, mind's bio-vision. Envision us, star-eaten. Ever-seeking, just an all-nighter called a lifetime. Blur on, said The mushroom. And I asked to what extent? The end, naturally.

[celticbarb]

Book: Highland Breath

Author: Michelle Deerwester-Dalrymple

Series: Glen Coe Highlanders, Book #2

Release Date: January 26, 2023

Book Length: 279 pages

Overall Rating: 5/5 Stars

Blog Rating: 5/5 Saltire Flags

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry….Robert Burns (Scottish Poet)

Scotland, 17th century

This story centers around two people Fiona Graham and Maddock MacDonald that have to marry for political reasons and seem to be opposites in personalities as well. As Fiona is a bibliophile, who always has her head in a book, where Maddock is a libertine, where he always has his head up some woman’s gown! The one thing they do agree on is neither of them wants to marry each other. Fiona and her sister’s Ann and Jemma had always been promised that they could pick their own husbands. As they each wanted a love match but now due to their father’s ambitions that was another deceitful lie! Her father, Archie Graham is selling her like livestock, only to raise himself up in politics and connect himself to a powerful clan like the MacDonalds.

Archie Graham was a widow and only a bonnet laird, with a small bit of land. He only had a few tenant farmers to aid him with the livestock and to help plant small plots of vegetables, oats and flax. He had a governess to help with his daughters and stable hands taught them how to ride horses. Historically, the term bonnet laird is a petty landowner. They wore a bonnet like the non-landowning classes. Bonnet lairds filled a position in society below Lairds. The other reason is that Graham was the Hammer against the Campbell clan and how he made a reasonable living. Furthermore when the powerful Seamus MacDonald, Laird of Glenachulish offered his philandering son he jumped at the chance! It would raise his status and possibly make him more powerful and wealthier. Of course this did not sit well with Fiona or Maddock!

As this Laird’s son is of an important clan, though his rakish ambitions are well known all over the highlands! This is part of the reason his father wants his wild son tamed, settled and married to one woman. As the men of this clan are loyal, honorable and are not unfaithful to their wives, even Maddock knew that. It is also a time when politics were stirring with King James Stuart having been exiled to Ireland which is the start of the Jacobite rebellion and a missing letter that starts this off. When Maddock realized this highland beauty had no interest in him they formed a plan together. It was a fake betrothal to everyone else they were planning their wedding but as their wedding celebrations began it would give Maddock a chance to introduce Fiona to other gentlemen who would be visiting. The one problem is as he got to know his betrothed he felt jealousy and did not want any other man touching his Fiona!

Of course these two are planning to fool everyone with a fake betrothal where Maddock promised to find Fiona a loyal loving husband for her. Except he starts to not like this idea in the least since he has fallen in love with this bookish lass! Soon Fiona is starting to fall for this rogue and knows her heart will be broken. Plus she can’t marry a man where her future will be filled with an unfaithful husband who will definitely break her heart! On the political side of things will they locate this mysterious missing letter and red box? Do these star-crossed lovers even have a chance? Will this union be doomed before it even starts? Read and find out.

Again my go to author Michelle Deerwester-Dalrymple pens another extraordinary read that just kept me turning the pages late into the night. I absolutely love when author’s weave true history with a fictional romance. As for the swoon-worthy hero even with all his faults, I couldn’t help but love him! Now any reader will be able to relate to the heroine, a lover of books, who wants to be loved and marry a loyal partner. That does not seem to be asking too much or is it? This is a book I highly recommend and I look forward to the next book in this fantastic series!

Pre-Order Link:

https://www.amazon.com/Highland-Breath-Historical-Highlander-Highlanders-ebook/dp/B0BR3GWP3Y/

Disclaimer: I received an advance readers copy and agreed to do an honest, fair, review and blog through Booksprout. All thoughts, ideas and words are my own.

[devon-sinclair]

"I mean it wouldn't make me feel worse," he replied with a grin, wondering if his cheeks were red. It didn't matter how old he was now, hearing her call him baby had him swooning on the inside and feeling like a teenager with a crush all over again. "Yeah I think it's gonna take me a good while to not feel guilty about it either. I mean Liv has a whole kid, you know? At least I got to know Isla's kid a bit but shit, that's still a while other life I missed out on. I mean Eddie was a fucking grandfather, it's blowing my head," he admitted. "But look at you being an optimist. So rational and thoughtful." Devon wished he could reach that place but he didn't anticipate it being any time soon. "But alright, as long as you're ready to keep saying it for a long time. You know I've got a thick head. It's gonna take a while."

Still, despite how doom and gloom he felt, just the fact that he was here, sitting next to her, already made him feel a lot better. "Mm, you'd make a great speaker. A career day sort of thing," he added with a laugh. "It'll be alright though. I guess I thought getting older would prevent me from having more existential crisis's but apparently I was wrong. Guess I'm also just figuring out what it means for me to actually stay here and make a home here again, you know? Feels like I'm failing myself somehow but also like I'm also failing if I leave. But why would I leave when I've got you here?" He smiled over at her, the smile widening as their eyes met. "Who says we can't get into trouble? If someone can figure out how to get in trouble in the middle of nowhere, it'd be you, babe. You'd find a way to fight with the cows or something. But I think we'd have a nice time. Peace and quiet for once. I could make you breakfast every morning. We could drink wine watching the sunset. Like Under the Tuscan sun but better. Actually I've never seen that movie so don't quote me on that."

"The shirt is very flattering on you, baby," she patted his arm, making a joke out of her patronizing tone, "If I grope your muscles some and ooh and ahh, would that make you feel better?" She finally sat her ass in one of the stools at the bar, before patting the one next to her with one hand and motioning to the bar tender doing inventory to bring them over her usual with the other.

"Whole lotta life indeed." she agreed, "Took me awhile to stop feeling guilt about missing it." she was only speaking about herself, but hoped that if he was feeling any guilt over it, her words might hit him exactly where he needed it. "But I realized that if I had stayed here? I wouldn't have been any fuckin' good to them. Probably woulda done more harm than good. So I just say my thanks that I can be here now for them, you know?" Nellie's relationships with her littles was probably the least destructive and most functional thing about her, and she truly credited that to the fact that she had been able to escape Tonopah when she needed to, which allowed her to come back an develop the even closer bond with them than she had before, or in the case with Cole, develop one at all. "I know me telling you not to feel guilty about your brother or the kids isn't gonna magically solve shit, but I'mma keep telling you anyways, until you're fucking sick of it, alright?"

"I'm gonna have them mastering knots in no time," she snorted, thinking about the various uses knots could have in a place like this, uses that'd make boy scouts blush. Her mind refocused as she listened to him speak about teaching, and she could hear it, how much love held for it, even if it was fading. She wasn't surprised by it at all, he had always been so smart, so many lightyears ahead of her. She used to love just listening to him explain a subject when he got passionate about something, even if she understood jack shit about it. "Well those shit stains are lucky to have you as a teacher, regardless. If you want me to march into a class and tell them to pull their heads out of their asses, I'll do it." Nellie wasn't sure if that was even the problem, but she wanted to solve his issues, and that was the only way she knew how to go about it, use her battle axe of a personality to beat people down.

"Mmmm, sounds nice. I'd say count me in, but after a week I'd probably be craving some trouble."

[grelleswife]

So what would Grell do if she met a country bumpkin who thought she was cute. Like their meet and greet was farm girl got stuck under a tractor was having a near death experience. Said farm girl went “damn being taken by a pretty little angel in red.” Which for some reason works or idk farm girl escapes the tractor and lives somehow? And can see Grell and just sets to flirting wondering “what’s a fancy lady like you doing out here?”

My mind took this prompt in a slightly different direction, but hear me out: One day, Grelle’s list of assigned reaps includes a soul doomed to perish in a farmyard accident. Miss Sutcliff is less than thrilled about this—a lady has no business clomping through the muck among a bunch of smelly barn animals! And what if she gets straw in her hair?! 😱 But she has a job to do, so the reaper grits her shark teeth and gets a move on.

When Grelle arrives, she finds a woman in her late twenties, trapped beneath a wagon or other piece of heavy machinery, and automatically assumes that this must be the person whose name is on the to-die list. A pity, really, as the woman is quite handsome!

However, Farmer Girl has no intention of going down without a fight, and she’s stronger than any of her father’s hired hands. Grelle’s jaw drops when the strapping young woman lifts her cumbersome burden as though she’s merely doing a workout rather than fighting for her life, shoves it aside, and proceeds to stand up unharmed, dusting off her trousers with a proud grin that instantly has the reaper swooning.

Ever the romantic, Grelle promptly imagines herself being swept up in those muscular arms, and, due to her flustered state, neglects to maintain her aura of invisibility. Farmer Girl is understandably confused by this stranger’s abrupt appearance, but she takes it in stride. The mysterious red-haired lady is endowed with an otherworldly beauty unlike anything she’s ever seen before, and her finely-tailored clothes (a glamorous yet business professional skirt and top) aren’t the sort most locals wear in these parts.

“You must be my guardian angel, miss,” she jokes, giving the reaper a flirtatious wink (this is the point where Grelle.exe has officially stopped working). “Such a pretty face could only come from heaven itself.” (Aaaaand Grelle.exe has crashed). Blushing furiously, the goddess stammers out an alibi that Farmer Girl doesn’t buy for a second, but the mortal plays along because of how taken she is with Miss Sutcliff. The two start bantering, each charmed by the other, until Grelle remembers that she has yet to reap a soul from this location. Checking her list more closely, she realizes that Farmer Girl was never the assigned person to begin with; one of the workers is having his skull crushed by an angry bull as they speak.

Before running off to deal with that chap, however, Grelle quickly makes arrangements to meet Farmer Girl at a local dance to be held in town at the end of that month. Then the starry-eyed reaper bids her new crush au revoir, blowing the other woman a kiss as she flounces away. Farmer Girl is left with a dreamy smile plastered across her face, so hopelessly smitten that she almost walks into the barn door in a daze.

Shortly thereafter, Ronald notices that his senpai has developed an unprecedented enthusiasm for taking trips to the countryside…and Farmer Girl has occasionally been spotted with red lipstick still imprinted on her cheeks. 😉

[msmarvelwrites]

Almost Is Never Enough

Summary: Ever since Steve had come out of the ice all those years ago, his only goal had been to get back to Peggy Carter. A home that was waiting and forgetting him all at once. But that doesn't make it any easier to watch him go.

Pairing: Steve x reader

Warnings: Angst, angst, just a little bit of angst, fluff, language. 

Word Count: 2.4k

Authors Note: Thank you to the wonderful @remmiesour for this request. It’s been a decade, but I finally got around to it! I’ve never written for Steve and honestly I didn't think I ever would but, famous last words I guess! Enjoy!

Ever since Steve had come out of the ice all those years ago, his only goal had been to get back to her. A home that was waiting and forgetting him all at once. She was there, and if it was the last thing he did, he would be too. 

So, when the opportunity presented itself, when he could actually find his long lost love, you already knew he had made the decision before the words fell from his lips. 

You knew. But god, that didn't make it any easier. 

You hadn’t meant for it to happen, falling in love with the world's most unavailable man. In every sense of the word, it was an accident. 

And yet, there you stood, eyes trained on his face as he laughed with his friends. The sound ripping through you like it always did. For the past week you had been trying to memorize the sound. The way it filled the room, pulling smiles from everyone who heard it. 

You hadn’t meant to fall in love with Steve Rogers, but that is exactly what you did. 

“Ya know,” Bucky’s gravely voice started behind you, pulling your attention away from Steve and towards his friend. “If you're planning on telling him, I’d do it now.” 

You furrowed your brow at the brunette, a false confusion clouding your eyes. You shook your head, only pulling a scoff from his stubble framed lips. 

“Don’t play that with me. I see the way you look at him.” He smiled softly, watching as your eyes flicked back to the godlike man. 

Bucky was only trying to help. But in your case, you were just too late. You had your moment. Several if you were being honest. Steve deserved someone who wasn't afraid to tell him how they felt. Someone strong and brave. 

Someone like Peggy Carter. 

“I missed my chance.” You hummed, taking a sip from the bottle of stale beer in your hand. You grimised at the bitterness, the liquid courage doing nothing for your spirit. Only serving as a half assed reminder of what a coward you really were. 

How many times had those three words almost fallen from your mouth? How many moments passed- longing stares and lingering touches? Surely too many to keep count. But it didn't change the truth. 

He didn't love you, and he was leaving. 

“I think that he deserves to know what he’s leaving behind.” Bucky whispers against your ear, the words pulling at your heart. 

Only you and he knew the truth. Today was not a celebration of wins… It was a send off. 

“He deserves to be happy.” You choked out, your eyes meeting Steves from across the room, his softening when he was your hollow form. You faked a smile, though it didn't fool the Captain as he began to make his way over to you. 

“And what about you?” You snapped your head to meet Bucky, your eyes serious and tone stern. 

“Stop it. Please.” 

Bucky raised his hands in surrender, taking a step back as Steve approached you. His voice calling your name melted over you like honey in tea. So sweet, but always ready to burn if not careful. 

You met his gaze, his blue eyes sparkling down at you, inviting you in. You could drown in the oceans of his iris, in fact, you had on many occasions. Tonight was no exception. 

“Could I steal you away for a moment?” He asked, his voice cutting through your thoughts, coated in kindness. 

The moment his eyes met yours, you were a goner. A mess from the second he said your name. It was pathetic, but then again, isn’t that what you were? Doomed from the first day he walked into your life, taking up every thought in your head.

“Of course.” You tried to smile, forcing it on your quivering lips. You hoped Steve didn’t notice, and of course, he didn’t. He never noticed. If he had, perhaps you wouldn’t be in this mess.

Steve pulled you along, hand in hand as he led your outside into the night. Darkness acting as a veil covering your hurt. Part of you wanted to scream. Needed it. Though, it wouldn’t do much now. 

“Do you remember when we first met?” His question echoed around you, pulling you to the memory of your first encounter. 

Of course you remembered. It replayed in your head like a broken record every night. A thousand ‘what if’s’ swirling around the memory. 

The day he asked you to dance at one of Tony’s elaborate fundraisers for charity. He was like something out of a dream, the way he walked across that dance floor to you. The way his voice asked that daunting question. The way you swooned the moment his hands touched yours, pulling you in and spinning you around the room. 

It all felt so distant now. As if you had made the entire thing up in your head. 

Sometimes you wish you had.

“I remember you being a terrible dancer.” You joked, worrying on your bottom lip as Steve's laugh echoed around you. 

“See, that's the problem. I don’t have much practice and I owe a dame a dance.” His words were sincere and yet dripped in venom. They cut you deep, poison darting straight to your heart. 

“You want me to help you… Dance?” You tried not to let your face show how truly hollow you felt. 

You had to force yourself not to cringe away when he took your hand, pulling you gently against his chest. You could have died right there, drowned in your own self loathing, overcome with jealousy for a woman who, at this very moment, was nothing more than a tombstone. She was gone, nothing but a memory and still- Steve picked her. 

With a broken breath, you rested your hand on his shoulder, shivering at his touch. You should pull away, save yourself from the ache. But the way he held you- gently and with a foreign love you would never feel from Steve, your body stayed.  You had wondered what it would be like. Wrapped up in his arms, your name on his mouth, his lips on your throat. You had imagined it more times than you cared to admit. 

One dance couldn't hurt. 

You let him take the lead, swaying you slowly into the night. His hand on your waist, guiding you to a silent melody. 

“Ya know, there was a moment that I thought it might be us.” His words whispered against your neck, freezing you in time. You swore your veins turned to ice at the cruelty of his remark. All you could do was gape. 

Steve pulled away to look at you, watching your face turn pale and eyes fill with tears. 

“How could you- This is a bad idea. I can’t do this, Steve.” You choked out, horrified at how little your voice sounded. You hated how he made you feel, small and broken. If you were, it was only because he made you that way. 

“I didn't mean to-”

“Didn't you? I respect myself too much to beg you to stay. But what the fuck, Steve? How can you stand there, one foot out the door and tell me that?” You were shattered, hand over your heart as if it might fall out at any moment. “I’ve followed you around like you were the sun. I’d do anything for you. But I won’t watch you walk away. Not when all that’s waiting for you is a ghost. I love you too much, and it breaks my heart that you can’t even consider that I could… That I might…” 

“Y/n, baby, I’m so sorry. I just-” Your name fell from his lips like a plea, but you couldn't stand there and listen to him try to mend what was already so irreversibly broken.

“No- Just stop.” You blurted, turning away and pulling yourself from his grasp. “I’ve been second to her my whole life. I’m numb to it now. But don’t make excuses for your shitty decision. If you want to go, go.” With that, you pushed away from him, heading back to the party and away from the man who, come tomorrow, would be forever out of reach. 

The next morning you woke up, eyes burning from the tears shed the night before and chest heavy with guilt. 

Part of you knew there was a better way to say the things you did, but another part reveled in your cruelty. Basked in how dumbstruck Steve looked standing on the lawn. Maybe it was mean, but so was he. 

It wouldn't matter for long. The afternoon sun was creeping in and soon he would be gone. Nothing but a distorted memory of a man you used to love. But at least he knew. At least when he laid beside his consolation prize he would remember you. Maybe he would hurt. You cringed at the idea. 

No matter how much you wanted to hate Steve, your heart simply wouldn't allow it. That was the worst joke of all. You despised the man you loved. 

Buck: He’s waiting for you… 

You looked down at your phone on the bedside table, wiping away the tear that rolled down your cheek. You knew it was time. This was the moment that you had prepared for. But you made a promise last night- one you were far too petty to fall back on now. 

Though even still, as the seconds lulled by, guilt began to eat away at your brain and before you knew it you were half way out the door. Your feet dragged you down the hall, forcing you to confront the horrible truth. 

You knew he was gone before Bucky even spoke the words. His eyes filled with a sadness only you could know. Shoulders slumped as he struggled to hold his gaze. He shook his head, affirming your worst fears as Sam’s panicked voice broke through the tension. 

“Get him back here!” He shouted, his tone filled with dread. It was torture to watch, unberable to feel.

A loud crackle erupted through the air almost knocking you off your feet. Through the piercing white flash, you saw a figure. If you didn't know any better you would have thought-

There, in all of his glory, was Steve Rogers. Perfect and untouched. Like a statue carved from marble. 

All you could do was gape, hand over mouth as he stepped down the tarmac, a smile that could instill world peace plastered on his pink lips. Your whole body vibrated with nerves. Somewhere between anger and hope.

Your name fell from his lips, but you couldn't hear it over the hammering of your heart, your feet already carrying you across the field.  

“What the hell are you-” 

“It’s you, doll.” He beamed, his words only fueling a rage that was threatening to boil over the closer you got. “It’s always been you. I can't believe I didn't see it until-”

Your fist colliding with his stoney jaw cut him off before he could finish. You pushed against his, palms thrashing at his chest as he tried to fend you off. Of course, he could if he truly wanted to, you knew this. 

“Y/n, just listen to me.” He begged, holding your wrists tight as you went to take another hit. You tried to yank yourself away from him, but it was no use. “I was stupid, doll. A complete idiot and I didnt see what was right in front of me. Tell me it’s not too late. Tell me I still have a chance.” Steve's eyes brimmed with tears as your heart thundered in your chest. 

You could only blink, your mind racing between a thousand reasons to walk away. To close the chapter on your love with Steve for good. So why did you stay? As if it wasn't torture enough. As if he hadn't beaten your heart black and blue with his carelessness. You wanted to run, but amidst the broken shards of your heart was a naive girl desperate with hope. And so, with a half step, you closed the distance, taking the deadly plunge as your lips collided with his. 

Steve drank you in, his mouth moulding to yours the instant you met. His hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you in until you arched back against him. Nothing in the world could have prepared you for how completely and irrevocably intoxicating he was. His presence over you melting you into a puddle before him. 

Steve's tongue gently ran across your bottom lip pulling a gutteral shutter to wrack through your body. The taste of him permanently cemented into your mouth. It was the soft moan that escaped the back of his throat that finally did you in, buckling your knees as you held onto the soldier for dear life. 

It wasn't until Sam’s voice echoed around you that you finally pulled away from Steve. Your body’s untwining as the rest of the world came back into focus. 

“Does anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on? What is she talking about?” Sam shouted, pointing his finger at you exasperatingly. 

“I- I… I don't…”  Your words fell to the back of your throat, the memory of Steve’s lips ingrained in your skin. You couldn't think, much less form a coherent sentence as he looked down at you, that boyish grin plastered on his mouth. The way his eyes sparkled, tears filled with a longing you had seen many times, but never from him. 

“Were you not coming back?!” Sam blurted abruptly causing Steve to snap his head in the falcons direction. 

“No.” Steve spoke simply, his gaze returning to you. Eyes filled with an answer you had been wracking your brain for.  “I could never leave my best girl.” 

You scoffed, your gaze only leaving Steve’s for a moment. His words were kind, his lips intoxicating. But there was a nagging in your heart, pulling you from your dreamstate and back to reality. 

“Best girl, huh?” You signed, leaning into him as you chased his touch. “I think I’m going to need you to prove that, Rogers.” 

Steve chuckled, the low rumble vibrating through your chest. His smile seemed brighter than you’d ever seen, reassuring you that this was the only place he wanted to be. “For as long as I can, darling.” 

[enigmalynne]

Something to be Thankful For - Chapter 2

Title – Something to be Thankful For Pairings – Jensen/Reader Word Count – 1,459 Warnings – RATED R FOR LATER CHAPTERS: Violence in the form of a mass bombing/shooting, injuries both explained and detailed, cursing SPNMixedBingo Square filled – Thanksgiving

Jensen Ackles’ life changes when he walks into his favorite coffee shop and meets Y/N, a Florida girl making a new start in Austin, Texas, as a Sheriff’s Deputy with the help of her sister. The two hit it off and quickly become an item that even the tabloids can’t tear apart. Jensen is excited to show his girl off at Thanksgiving dinner with his family, but she has to work the parade that morning first. What starts out as a normal event filled with balloons, clowns, and cheery faces soon turns deadly as one of the floats explodes and gunfire fills the air. Soon, Y/N is in a fight for her life as she and the rest of the deputies fight back against whoever it is trying to take over Downtown Austin.

Is Jensen doomed to watch the woman who brought love back into his life perish in a tragic mass attack, or will he have Something to be Thankful For after all?

Chapter 2

I don’t want it to be Thanksgiving yet. Wasn’t it just Halloween? Y/N read on her mobile phone as she stood in her bathroom, getting ready for work. She smirked at the text message from Jensen and typed out a quick reply.

What are you complaining about? You get to stay in that warm bed and sleep in. I’m the one who has to go stand out in the cold for like 6 hours. Carefully setting her phone down, Y/N focused on making sure all the strands of her hair were tucked up in the French braid she styled her long locks into and off the collar of her shirt as the uniform code required. She was carefully checking her make-up one last time when her phone chirped a reply.

I’m lonely in this warm bed. You should have stayed the night, he replied promptly. Her smirk grew into a full-on grin. Gently shaking her head, she replied.

If I did stay the night, then I would end up late to call. Again. That was a glorious morning, and she would have been happy to repeat it. Instead of spending the 45 valuable minutes getting ready to leave, she willingly spent them in the shower with Jensen. She invariably ended up showing up 15 minutes late to the briefing with wobbly legs, still wet hair, and a few beard burns on the inside of her thighs.

I’d be happy to make a repeat performance of that morning anytime you want, sweetheart. Just get that tight ass back here in my bed, he replied eagerly.

Maybe I’ll stay the night tonight after Thanksgiving dinner with your parents. How’s that? Y/N responded before setting her phone down to make sure her shirt fitted correctly across her bulletproof vest. Grabbing her phone and walking out of her bathroom, she felt the buzz of his reply.

It's a date, he sent. Y/N felt herself smile widely before sliding the phone into her back pocket. Their first date was the day they met at her sister’s coffee shop. Their second date was the next night. It went on like that for a few days before they shared their first kiss. It was a few weeks later when a photographer caught them. The next day, a celebrity rag ran the photo of them sharing a kiss in front of a fountain in Austin with the headline “Jensen Ackles Post Divorce Fling!”

Feeling wrecked, Y/N waited for the inevitable to come. She was certain he was coming over and telling her that he couldn’t be with her because of the publicity. She was genuinely shocked when he shrugged the article off as no big deal.

“So they ran the story before I could formally ask you to be my gorgeous girlfriend. Nothing they wrote changes how I feel about you,” Jensen said with a shrug that afternoon when he showed up at her place. Y/N looked at him in surprise, making Jensen stare at her. “What?”

“I just… I expected you to tell me you had to stop seeing me is all,” Y/N said quietly, staring off into the distance, trying to wrap her head around what was happening.

“Do you want to stop seeing me?” Jensen asked, suddenly very nervous. Y/N shook her head sharply, snapping out of her reverie.

“No!” she exclaimed fiercely, causing Jensen to let out a startled chuckle. Y/N instantly closed her eyes, intentionally took a deep breath, and looked at Jensen. “No. I don’t want to stop seeing you. I was just afraid the unfavorable publicity was causing you or your… publicist… or… whatever stress. I mean, it’s only been a few weeks and suddenly there’s a big deal about how a TV show superstar shouldn’t be dating a cop,” she said quietly, her voice sneering a little when she mentioned her occupation. Jensen took Y/N into his arms with a soft smile and rested his forehead on hers, forcing her to look up into his emerald eyes.

“I may have only known you a short while, Y/N, but I already know how I feel. I want to see where this goes. I don’t give a rat’s ass what any celebrity magazine, publicist, or whatever has to say about it. And I don’t have a problem dating a cop. I appreciate your concern about this, but I actually want to make this official, if you’d have me,” he breathed. The radiant smile that graced Y/N’s face lit up her y/e/c eyes.

“Really?” she asked tentatively. Jensen gently pressed a chaste kiss to her mouth.

“Really,” he confirmed.

“I can’t imagine us being anything else than together,” she whispered tenderly to him. His delighted grin widened before he pressed his lips against hers again, deepening the kiss that left them both breathless. When they broke apart, they were panting.

“You know, I…” Y/N started, her eyes wide as they stared up at Jensen. She never finished her possible declaration, but Jensen nodded slowly in agreement anyway. He knew what she was about to say because he felt the same way.

“Yeah, me too,” he replied eagerly. That was precisely four months ago, and they are still going as strong as ever. Now it was Thanksgiving, and Y/N was heading out to work a security detail at the annual parade while Jensen got to sleep comfortably in his warm bed. Jealous, party of one.

Glancing at the clock as she walked out of her bedroom, she noticed that it ticked close to 4:15am. That gave her just enough time to grab her gear, grab a coffee, and head downtown to be at the meet location at 5am. She picked up the key to her safe and unlocked it to pull out her service weapon, two extra magazines, and her agency-issued taser. Sliding them into place, she turned and grabbed her radio and earpiece to do the same with them. Snagging her agency-issued laptop and her jacket, she walked out her front door, then skipped down the steps to the door that led her to the café.

“Got your coffee ready, Y/N!” she heard Holly shout at her as she carefully locked the private door to the stairs. Y/N snagged the paper cup out of her hand without missing a step.

Holly was already in the café with one of her employees, getting it ready for the onslaught of parade watchers who were sure to be heading downtown in just a few hours. She planned to take full advantage of all the people heading out in the cold weather thanks to a freak cold front by graciously offering discounted coffee and tea.

“Thanks, girl! Love you, Holly!” Y/N called out as she walked toward the door.

“Love you too! Be safe!” Holly yelled back.

“I’m on parade security, what’s there to worry about?” Y/N said, laughing. Holly promptly stopped what she was doing, turned at her sister, and glared fiercely. Y/N held her hands up in surrender and nodded understandingly. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Anything could happen. I’ll do my best to remain safe, I promise. I’ll call you when I’m done and heading back.”

“You had better,” Holly said, pointing a knife in her direction before she went back to cutting whatever she was cutting. Y/N shook her head with a smile as she left the café and walked over to the side lot where her patrol vehicle was. Reaching into her pocket, she pushed the button on the key fob that unlocked the doors. At the beep, she opened the front door.

She placed her coffee into the cup holder and pulled her phone out of her back pocket. She dropped into her seat and set her laptop up on the stand before opening it and turning it on. As it booted up, she sent out one last text.

About to head out to the parade. Stay warm for me, okay? And go back to sleep! Why are you even awake?? She tapped out on her phone to Jensen. She looked over and saw that her portable computer was up, so she logged in. Once it was set up, she pulled the car radio up and turned over the engine.

“3888, Travis,” she properly said into the portable radio.

“3888,” she heard back. Her mobile phone buzzed at the same time. She reached over to grab it as she called back.

“3888, I’m 10-8. Heading downtown for parade briefing but available if necessary,” she responded as she opened her text messages.

I’m awake to see my favorite girl off to work. Stay safe out there, love. I can’t wait to see you later today.

“3888, 10-4,” the distinctive voice said. Y/N let herself swoon to the new nickname Jensen had taken to affectionately calling her: pressing her phone to her chest, letting her head fall back against the headrest, and smiling herself silly. After her moment, she focused on the job at hand. Today was going to be a breeze.

Taglists:

Supernatural:

@akshi8278 @vicmc624 @agirlwithdemonblood @flamencodiva @hobby27 @mimaria420 @compresshischest09 @kkrivers

Jensen/Dean Taglist

@deandreamernp @siospins @sacriceria @sexyvixen7

Something to be Thankful For Taglist:

@wayward-gypsy @stoneyggirl2

[dear-yandere]

☽ darling, don’t leave me.

yandere! jojos + dio. general headcanons. tw: mentions of physical abuse, gaslighting, confinement, and noncon (dio’s part).

art credits: rosuto, ぴの, wW 武 Ww, unknown, suan, tumbleweed.

Jonathan Joestar is obsessive.

A true gentleman, Jonathan knows better than to let his feelings stray from his control. Still, he’s never been one to pursue love, so these feelings are entirely new. He courts his darling like any other self-respecting man of his time, allowing them the space to choose whether or not they desire him too. He doesn’t take being turned down personally as he’s perfectly content with merely being by his darling’s side. Even seeing them fall for another man is something he cannot force himself to intervene in; every smile and laugh not directed at him hurts far worse than any punch he’s ever received, but Jonathan thrives in seeing his darling happy and carefree.

Clingy as he may be, he isn’t above taking a few of darling’s possessions should the opportunity present itself. A head band or hair tie here or there, perhaps a pair of gloves or a hat his darling is sure to not miss — Jonathan is surprisingly adept and subtle at stealing and keeping these little trinkets. Darling may notice a few missing possessions, but it’s nothing Jonathan can’t laugh off as a misplaced item and easily replace with something new and extravagant. Money isn’t a problem, especially when it comes to his sweetheart. If it means they’ll stay by his side — or even look his way as more than a friend or confidant — he’ll give his darling the world.

Overbearing and well-meaning as he is, even gentleman aren’t without their flaws.

“You don’t have to feel the same. All I ask is that you don’t leave me.”

Joseph Joestar is protective with a hint of possessiveness.

Acting much more like an older brother rather than a lover — similar to his grandfather Jonathan — Joseph is hyper-aware of anyone that might hurt his sweetheart. He’s not sure how it came to be this way, really; it’s a first for him to not know even his own feelings. His darling is easy enough to read, and perhaps that’s what got him into this situation, where even the slightest brush of skin against his or the mere sound of them saying his name sends his nerves on edge. He likes the attention they give him when he acts like a brotherly figure; there’s no need to worry about unwanted feelings developing between the pair. At least, darling doesn’t have to worry, because Joseph falls in love despite his precautions. It isn’t until a competent rival appears that Joseph becomes rather intensely possessive and competitive — a rival like Caesar.

He hates losing, especially when he had his eyes set on the goal first. The moment a suave man like Caesar sets their sights on Joseph’s darling, he’ll turn snarky, snappy with even his darling. It’s a brutally stark contrast to the playful, chipper demeanor he usually bears, but it’s easy for darling to play it off as him having a bad day — until he doesn’t relent. His grip is harsher these days, his tone more grating and condescending whenever darling shows interest in his rival. At some point, he’ll lash out whenever they show interest in any man other than him.

If his insecurities and one-sided love are kept unchecked, he has no qualms with cutting his darling’s connection to anyone he deems a threat.

“Of course I’m jealous! You’re mine! You need me!”

Jotaro Kujo is manipulative with a hint of sadism and lucidity.

With a cool and collected exterior, it’s easy to convince his darling that everything they believe is wrong. Even a lionhearted lover will doubt themselves; or rather, Jotaro would seek an individual like this out. He’s used to women and men swooning over his good looks and alluring physique, though he doesn’t care much for the attention. Even when he degrades and admonishes his admirers, they fawn and swoon over him — it’s nothing short of disgusting, really. 

His ideal darling — the only type of person he’d seek out, rather than let come to him — is someone with a steel heart, someone hellbent on rejecting his words as law, someone who puts up a fight. Degrading and humiliating them will be a treat, a fun little challenge to come home to. He doesn’t want them to enjoy this in the slightest; he wants them to slowly break, to slowly doubt every piece of information they hear unless it comes from his mouth. Even the death of a loved one will seem surreal, exaggerated, fake unless he says so himself, and even then he won’t allow his darling that sort of luxury.

Once he’s tied his darling down (with a ring, and with ropes), they won’t see very much of him. As he pursues his career in Marine Biology, he’s often away on business trips, his only excuse for long periods of absence being “it’s too dangerous”, or some slew of insults thrown his darling’s way. He isn’t fond of divulging much of his personal life with them even if they are the love of his life; to him, secrets come hand-in-hand with relationships. Darling’s life is in danger simply by association; it’s best to act as if they don’t exist. Still, that doesn’t mean he’ll let them slip through his fingers. When he wants something, he’ll get it even if it’s eventual. 

Darling was doomed the moment he found an inkling of interest in taming them.

“Don’t look so scared when I’m around. I shouldn’t have to repeat myself.”

Josuke Higashikata is protective with a hint of delusion.

Sweet and compassionate as he may be, Josuke isn’t immune to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and obsession. He rationalizes these feelings as merely being protective of a good friend of his, but it’s not until his friends point out that what he’s feeling is love that he truly understands why his heart pitters and patters like raindrops when his darling’s around. He completely understands if darling doesn’t return his feelings — these things take time, he’ll say — but he doesn’t take kindly to jealousy of any sort. A mere mention of liking someone else will have him moping and distancing himself, but he’ll stay around just enough to ensure his beloved’s protection.

Josuke wouldn’t fare well with a darling who’s familiar with getting under his skin. Even an insult or two to his hair isn’t enough for Josuke to give up on his one-sided love; if anything, it’s an opportunity. Crazy Diamond has the power to heal after all, and when Josuke’s emotions run away from him, his darling may end up with more than a few cuts and bruises. Bones will be shattered, blood will be spilled, and apologies will fumble past trembling lips as darling’s abuser fixes them up — as if nothing ever happened. The only trace of evidence are the tears in Josuke’s eyes and the excuses on his lips — this easily becomes the norm. Both he and his darling will constantly tread along eggshells, the former worrying that his actions destroyed any chance of a relationship and the latter worrying the next time they step out of line, they’ll die.

But Josuke wouldn’t let his sweetheart die, no. He can heal whatever wounds they may receive, even its its from him. He’s a platonic yandere, at worst, and an overbearingly violent one at best. 

“Please don’t scream. People will think I did something terrible to you.”

Giorno Giovanna is manipulative with a hint of protectiveness and lucidity.

This soldato is cunning and intuitive, a natural-born leader with charisma rivaling his true father’s. He turns heads wherever he goes, inspires everyone he meets — it’s almost laughable how easy it is to twine people around his fingers. As a mere Passione soldato, he isn’t much threat to his darling, but as don, any hope of escaping his suffocating love is slashed. His control reaches farther than his darling can ever tread, and although he understands why his little coccinella would go so far as to run away, the thought of being without them is inconceivable. How can he protect them if they’re not at his side? Without him, darling could fall in love with the wrong person, someone who wears a mask and will hurt them once they’ve settled down together; without him, darling could fall in love with a monster. His step-father was like that, and he’d made Giorno’s childhood a living hell. So how could he let his darling tread that same path?

With a well-behaved darling, the don is a fairly normal lover... once they get past all the bodyguards and paranoia-filled lifestyle. Unlike his father, Giorno is not sadistic in the slightest; rather, seeing his darling in physical or emotional turmoil hurts him. He’s more apt to manipulate them in subtle, gentler ways rather than through brute force or threats. After giving them a new identity, he’ll keep them someplace safe, a private island off the coasts of Italy, somewhere heavily guarded and devoid of life except for his beloved and their bodyguards. It’ll be lonely, he’s sure, so he’s certain to visit whenever he has an ounce of free time. But even he can’t replace one’s need to feel social, safe, normal. That’s just the price his lover has to pay as the future spouse of a mafioso.

If he lived a different life, there’d be no need for all of this. Giorno’s love is bittersweet at best, but that realization isn’t enough to let his darling go. They need him, perhaps just as much as he needs them.

“I really can’t take it when you cry like that… smile for me, alright? You’re so pretty when you smile.”

DIO is sadistic, manipulative, and possessive.

Love has never done much for him, not in the way feeling powerful has. He prefers ruling over others rather than giving someone the ability to rule with or over him. His darling is nothing more than a plaything, at best — something to pass the time, something to sate his curiosity. Just how far can he push them before they crumble between his fingers and shatter like a precious gemstone? He takes pleasure in testing these boundaries, humiliating his darling as if that will help him understand this odd feeling humans call love. It’s possible for him to truly fall in love with his darling, but they will never take priority over his desire to end the Joestar bloodline. Perhaps, once he accomplishes this goal, his darling will be something nice to come back to, something stagnant and forever his.

He’ll go to lengths to break his darling, over and over again, see how much torture they can withstand before they realize that crying out or begging gets them nowhere. Will they hide their defiance under a facade of obedience, or will they truly break? It’s all an experiment to Dio, but either way, he’ll force them to be his little sex slave — sometimes, if they’ve behaved particularly nasty, darling will be the sex slave of his devoted followers, a little reward for being such wonderful subordinates. 

Apart from sexual torture, he’s keen on testing his darling on tidbits of information from the books he reads — completely mundane and often vague questions designed to make his little slave fail. It’s just a precursor, really, because he likes seeing them shine with determination only for it to shatter before their eyes. Punishments always follow, usually humiliation or sexual assault of some sort; though if he’s in a particularly bad mood, he won’t shy away from physically hurting his darling. All the better to break them with.

It’s a miracle if darling survives this little game of his, but if they do, he’s certain to keep them around for far longer than he originally anticipated. Being immortal can get so boring, you see, and what’s the fun of bottomless money and endless casual sex if he can’t keep an entertaining and worthy slave here or there?

“Tell me you love me as I fuck you into the mattress.”

[robinrequiems]

So basically the "you look nice I wanna kiss you" "what?" "I said if you died I wouldn't miss you" scene is inevitable and doomed to happen.

also pls more cashier dami 🤡

• oh definitely, that had happened a lot.

Damian: jon, why won’t you kiss me already

Jon: ?

Damian: i SAID. WHY DONT YOU MISS ME ALREADY

Damian: you’re like already near the door to leave

Jon: do you want me to stay longer??

Damian: no. leave, you imbecile

• damian sometimes uses his workers discount for jon. Damian barely buys stuff from there anyways, and he rarely uses it

• jon. Jon swoons so hard for Damian and it’s obvious

• he gets a picture of himself with damian like eventually and it’s his lockscreen

• does he get teased? yeah? but is it worth it? YES.

Some1: is that your boyfriend

Jon: no.

Jon: not yet anyway

• jons really casual, he makes it open that he likes damian, i mean, he did flirt with him the first time they met. and he still does time to time. it doesn’t work. but.

Some1: what kinda names damien?

Jon: it’s dami-AN. and wouldn’t you like to know, huh? betcha’ jealous that you don’t even have half of what i have with him

• That Some1 was his uncle jimmy

• he made it his goal to hug damian, with his permission of course. AND ONE DAY IR HAPPENEDn HALLELUJA!

• it was when damain got out of a really really busy shift, and he was so tired, it was his Saturday shift (7-11am), his feet hurt from standing, he was tired. and just wanted a hug. so he walked over to jon where he was waiting and just basically. fell into him.

• jon took him home since damian was 3/4th asleep

• damian is sometimes driven home by dick. dick is normally able to drive him to work on Saturday n Sunday.

• damian walks to work on Friday

• jon and Damian almost got mugged

• but jon made a angry face: jon has a very scary angry face and the dude was so scared he ran.

• true story

[holylulusworld]

King of my heart

Summary: Poor boy meets rich girl. They fall in love; the rest is a case of hide and seek.

Paring: Young!Dean x Reader, Teen!Dean x Reader, Mechanic!Dean x Reader

Characters: John Winchester, Ofc

Warnings: angst, shitty parents, love-struck Dean, teenage love, mentions of oral sex, fluff, rich/poor trope, secret relationship, making-out, romance, loss of virginity, protected sex, light smut, mentions of sexual harassment/groping (not Dean)

A/N: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s ‘King of my heart’. Lyrics are taken from the song.

Age of 10

The boy looks around the large entrance hall of your home, nosily listening to anything his father discusses with a man wearing a suit costing more than his parents’ house. “The boy can help to water the plants, but he must stay away from my daughter.”

“Yes, Sir,” John grits out, giving your father an obedient nod, hating himself for it. “Dean can help me water the plants and mow the lawn, Sir.”

“Good. I will be out for a meeting until six. I want the garden don till then or you won’t get paid,” turning on his heels, your father sneers at the boy watching him with wide eyes. “Remember, he stays away from my princess.”

“Yes, Sir,” John rolls his eyes, watching your father walk out of the house. “Phew, we better get started, Dean. Do not forget,” John looks down at his son, a serious expression on his face. “No talking to the girl, okay.”

“Why should I talk to her?” Dean mutters, not liking girls at all.

“That is not the answer I want to her, son. STAY AWAY FROM THE GIRL,” John speaks louder, and you sneak out of the kitchen to watch the foreign man scold a boy. Whilst you watch the man walk toward the backyard the boy turns around, grinning at you.

“Hi,” you wave at him, stepping closer as he tries to ignore you. “I am Y/N, what’s your name?” Dean learned it is impolite to not tell someone his name after they introduced themselves, so he steps closer, holding out his hand. 

“Dean, I will water your plants.” You fiddle with your dress, looking up at the taller boy with green eyes which seem to sparkle. 

“You’re tall and cute,” you giggle, stepping closer to peck his cheek. “I got a cactus in my room, you can water it too and we can play later.”

“Sorry, your dad doesn’t want me to talk to you, sweetheart,” you gasp, liking the nickname he gave you. “I got to help my dad.”

“You know, I can watch. Dad can’t get mad at you if I follow you to the backyard with my cactus.” Dean nods, giving you a soft smile when you peck his cheek again. His cheeks heat up, slowly turning red. 

“Dean, what takes you so long?” John barks at his son, making your new friend flinch. “Come on, hurry. We do not get paid if we can’t finish work till six.”

You watch the man mow the lawn, giving orders to Dean now and then. The man didn’t dare to talk to you or order you around as he does with his son, but you could see he didn’t like you followed Dean outside.

“She said I must water her cactus, Sir. What should I do? It’s the boss’s daughter, dad,” John nods, watching you swoon for his son. “I’ll water it and we are done.”

“Son, she’s nice but still the daughter of the most influential man in town. We cannot lose the job, okay. The garage, I just bought it. I need money to buy more tools,” John squeezes his sons’ shoulder, sighing deeply at the looks you give his eldest son. “Do not get yourself into trouble, Dean.”

“Thank you, Dean. My cactus looks so much better now,” you squeal, following John with your eyes when he walks toward the tool shed. “Will you come back soon?”

Dean nods, giving you a smirk as he leans closer to peck your lips. It is the first time a boy did something like this. You giggle before you step closer to press your lips to Deans, catching him by surprise.

“Now you are my prince,” running off, the cactus still in your arms you swoon.

You kissed a boy for the first time, and it felt great.

Age of 14

“Daddy, I hate school. All the other girls are mean,” you whine, watching your father grab his jacket. “Can’t you talk to the teacher? I want to change my classes.”

“Y/N, we don’t always get what we want,” patting your head your father sighs before he barks orders at Dean who wants to take care of the lawn. “You better make your work worth my money, boy. Do not forget the roses and I dare you to even look at my princess.” Your father is gone before you can tell him about the mean things the girls said.

“Yes, Sir,” Dean mutters under his breath when you walk out of the house to watch him fight with the lawnmower. “Your father is an idjit.”

“He’s still my dad, but you are not wrong, Dean,” you watch Dean take his jacket off, biting your lip as he looks at you with those piercing green eyes. “Haven’t seen you for a while. My father sent me to a new school.”

“I’ll work during summer holidays to make some money,” explaining he wants to help his dad Dean smirks when you step closer to look up at him.

“You grew even more,” you sigh, liking you must look up at Dean. “The girls at school, they all have a boyfriend and made fun of me. I don’t have one.”

“No boyfriend…huh?” Dean turns his attention toward you, the lawnmower is long forgotten when he cups your cheek, glancing at your lips. You feel your heart race when he presses his lips to yours, tasting your cherry lipstick. “I can be your secret boyfriend, sweetheart.”

Your heart swells and you whimper, nodding eagerly when Dean kisses you again. “I can help you with your work. How about I water the plants and cut the roses? We can spend more time together before my dad comes home that way.”

“Deal, sweetheart.”

Dean and you spend the afternoon watching movies, eating snacks, and cursing your father for being, as Dean would name him, a ‘son of a bitch with a stick in his ass’.

It was the best day of your life until your father caught you and Dean.

“He will never get close to you again,” dragging Dean out of your room your father glares at the young boy. “I told him to stay away from you.”

“He helped me with my homework, dad. I am bad at mathematics and Dean offered his help. It was my fault, daddy.” You sniffle, giving your father your best puppy dog eyes. “Dean, he refused to go to my room, but it was too hot outside and I felt dizzy. Please, it was not his fault. He needs the job, daddy. Please…”

“Fine. If you say it was not his fault, I believe you, princess,” you nod, hoping your father will not see through your lie. “He’ll never enter your room again or his job is gone.”

Age of 16

Dean watches you walk out of the house, ignoring him completely. Your secret friendship or rather a relationship did not last for long. Sooner or later it was doomed to end as you went to a private school for girls and Dean, well he met a lot of girls at his school.

“You look pretty, sweetheart,” he husks, voice deeper now, manly. You ignore his words, try to concentrate on your homework. “Homework during summer holidays again, Y/N? You should go out and have some fun. You’re sixteen now.”

“Unlike you, I got better things to do than hanging out with girls,” you spat, ignoring he steps closer to look at you. He tries to catch your attention, standing behind you to sniff at your hair. “Apple shampoo, my favorite.”

“What do you want Dean? I think you have enough girls giving you attention, you do not need me,” your voice cracks when you turn to walk back into the house.

“Your father, he threatened John to ruin his business if I ever dare to get close to you again. I think he saw us. Your father saw me kissing you goodbye, Y/N. Don’t ask me what John did after he almost lost his business due to my, as he calls it, hormonal nonsense.” Dean huffs, running his fingers through his hair. 

“He threatened your father?” Turning around you meet Dean’s eyes for the first time in over a year. “Is that true, Dean?”

“I swear, cross my heart,” Dean mumbles. “I wanted to call you, but dad wouldn’t let me, sweetheart. I never forgot about you. I don’t know why your father allowed me to work this summer again.”

“Oh, I see,” you look up at Dean, batting your eyelashes. “I’ve missed…” His lips are on yours before you can end your line. “Missed you, Dean.”

“I’ve missed you too, Y/N. You’ve got no clue how hard it was not to kiss your lips,” he’s slipping his tongue inside, moaning when you wrap your arms around his neck. “You taste like cherries, sweetheart.”

Dean grins when you tell him you bought the cherry lipstick only for him…

Age of 18

“Son of a bitch, Y/N,” Dean groans, eagerly licking into your mouth whilst you grind against the growing bulge in his pants. “If you don’t stop, I’ll rip this goody in two shoes girls’ school uniform off your body and mark you.”

“You would do so, wouldn’t you?” You cup the back of his head, pressing his lips to yours. “Daddy is out of town, Dean.”

“You’re such a bad girl,” you whimper feeling Dean’s hand creep toward your panties. “Didn’t you get enough last time? Was my tongue not enough for you, sweetheart?”

“No, I want you, Dean,” his fingers graze your clit, letting another spark feed the fire he lit weeks ago. “I got condoms.”

“Jesus, sweetheart. If you keep on talking like that, I’ll take you right here in the backseat of my car.” You grin, grinding against his fingers in an attempt to urge Dean on. “I want it to be special, Y/N. I will not take your virginity in the backseat of a car.”

“I want you D’, please,” whining you tug at his hair, kissing him fiercely. “I need to feel your cock inside of me, Dean. Make me yours, please.”

“Oh-heaven help me with that girl…”

“Daddy is not around to stop me,” Dean growls, teasingly running the tip up and down your folds. “I bet he would kill me for touching his naughty princess.”

“Dean, please,” you grasp for his shoulders, nails biting into the muscles he grew. “I need you,” his lips press against yours the moment he carefully slips the first inches into you. There is a slight burn, the good kind of burn, when you feel your walls spread out for Dean.

“You’re so tight, sweetheart. God, I can’t believe I am your first,” you peck his lips, watching Dean pant on top of you, a smile on his face. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, I've been waiting, waiting

Ooh whoa, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are the one, I have been waiting, waiting

Body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once

Dean slowly rolls his hips, afraid to hurt you he looks worriedly at you before he presses his knees into the mattress and his forearms into the pillow. For a moment he just watches your face, the way your lips part with every gentle thrust, and enjoys the little gasps escaping your throat.

“Love you so much, Y/N,” you cry out, grasping for his biceps when he speeds up. “Never wanted anyone else to be my first.”

“Same, my king,” Dean smiles, pressing his lips to your forehead. “I thought I am your prince.”

“No, you’re my king now…”

Age of 21

“I don’t care what you will do! Keep your money, your house, and expensive clothes,” you cry, holding the necklace Dean bought to your birthday close to your heart. “I love Dean Winchester and you can’t do anything against it! If you threaten his family or him, we are done!”

“Don’t be silly, princess. Dean Winchester is just another heartbreaker who wants to use you and your nativity to make fast money,” your father spats, looking at the, to him, worthless necklace. “Everything he ever said to is a lie, fake, just like the necklace.”

“You don’t know anything about Dean or me. I love him, he loves me and if you can’t accept we are a pair, I’ll move out,” you turn on your heels to storm toward your room, ready to pack your things.

“What about your dreams, your study? Will you give up everything to become the wife of a mechanic? A man who can barely pay his bills,” you nod, ignoring your father’s words. “I will not pay for anything if you leave my house.”

“I don’t care…” You run, not taking anything with you but your jacket and the necklace. “I love him…”

Heartbroken you sit at the bus station, still waiting for Dean to show to run away with you. Hours ago, he told you to not give up your dreams or education for him. While you were ready to give everything up, Dean refused to take away your future from you.

“Princess get into the car. John Winchester called me, told me about the break-up. I am sorry,” your father whispers, seeing the tears run down your face. “It’s better this way.”

“No, it’s not. I hope you and John are happy because you destroyed my love. I hate you, and this will never change. From this day on, you are not my father, just the man I must live with as the man I love gave up on us to not destroy my future…”

Late in the night, the city's asleep

Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

Change my priorities

The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

On the way back to your father’s house you can’t stop crying. Dean, he said that you can never see each other again and it feels like your life is over. “Y/N, he’s not worth your tears. You will find a fine young man one day.”

“Shut up, just shut up and shove your words up to your stiff and rich ass. I hate you and I will do so for the rest of my life. You only see your money, nothing else. A man who got no clue about love wants to tell me how to feel after I lost the man I love due to your mistake,” you look out of the window, ignoring your father’s presence. “I hate you.”

“Not for the rest of your life,” your father mumbles but you are too stubborn to not do so. You swore to yourself, today is the day your father died.

“I will, promised…”

Age of 23

'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars

With their Range Rovers and their Jaguars

Never took me quite where you do

The date your father forced you to attend was a disaster. The guy, a spoiled brat, tried to get into your pants right after you entered his Jaguar.

Whilst you gave him a black eye, he called you a stupid bitch and kicked you out of his car. Stubbornly you refused to call your father only to walk along the street, hating your life once again.

There is a low roar followed by someone calling your name, but you decide to ignore his voice and the black muscle car. “Sweetheart, get inside. It’s cold, starts to rain any minute and it’s past midnight.”

“Why do you care? You wanted me to live my life, that is how it looks like. Fending off spoiled guys who believe they can touch me only as they are breathing,” you spat, walking faster to get away from Dean who parks his car to follow you.

“Y/N, I wanted you to have a chance, to have a better life. I never wanted to lose you, but this was the only way,” lost, Dean stands on the street, watching you run away.

“I love you, sweetheart…”

“How was the date?” Your father asks, watching you walk into the house, soaked from head to toe.

“Great. It started with your best friend's son trying to grope my breasts followed by his try to force himself on me. It was a great idea if you wanted me to get raped. But,” you grin now, dipping your head, “at least it would've been a rich guy doing so – right daddy?”

“Y/N, I never thought he would try something like that, I swear.”

“Sure. All you saw is that his father is rich, not a simple mechanic who tries to make enough money to feed his kids. You’re such an ignorant man. That guy didn't treat me with respect, he saw me as an object, a body he can use. When I refused, he called me a bitch and let me walk.” You huff when your father tries to soothe you. “Dean always treated me with respect. He knew how to…doesn’t matter anymore…”

Age of 26

“I don’t give a shit on your opinion, Sir. My father is gone, the garage is mine. I want my girl and I want her now,” Dean grits out, shoving your father aside to run upstairs. “Y/N? Sweetheart?”

“Dean what the…?” Gasping you watch Dean enter your room, slamming the door shut to pounce on you. “What are you doing here?”

“I got enough money, now. I…I can open a new garage and we can buy a house. I spared every buck I ever made for us, look,” he shows you his bank statement, proudly puffing his chest. “I…I never was with someone else. I only want you, Y/N.”

“What about my dad? What if he destroys your business or future,” you sniffle, gently touching Dean’s cheek. “I can’t let him destroy your life for me.”

“I don’t care, Y/N. I wanna be with you, please,” his arms wrap around you to bring you close to his chest. “I dreamed of having you in my arms again for 5 years. I worked day and night, took three jobs but we can be together now.”

“Together,” you choke out, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I never was with anyone else either. Only you, Dean…”

“Only you, sweetheart…”

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, I've been waiting, waiting

Ooh whoa, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are the one, I have been waiting, waiting

Body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once

Part 2

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx

@screechingartisancashbailiff

@fallen-wolf22

@sister-winchesters99

@mogaruke

@the-is13

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--------------------------------------

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

@spnfamily-j2

@supernatural-bellawinchester​

@negans-lucille-tblr​

@deans-baby-momma​

@thefaithfulwriter​

@squirrelnotsam​

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@multisuperfandom​

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@jadesupernatural​

@psychicforest​

@luciathewinchestergirl​

@magssteenkamp​

@palefiregiver

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@jxackles​

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@addictedtofictionalcharacters​

@gabifernandessn​

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@team-free-will-you-idjiot​

@myopiamystical​

@rintheemolion​

@isthatabutterfly

@bluecornflowers​

@rosalynshields​

A/N: If your name is crossed out Tumblr won’t let me tag you.

[janeykath318]

Dear Lord, I want His Babies (TaserWings edition)

Soulmate indicators came in a lot of different ways: the most common were the first words one would hear spoken by their soulmate printed on the skin and the timers that counted down until the moment two soulmates were destined to meet. Sam had also known people who had experienced colors for the first time when they met their soulmate, Steve being one of those. He’d talked about how it had felt the moment he’d met Peggy and how his black and white world had exploded into color.

Sam, on the other hand, had no soulmate indicator at all, not even a platonic one, which was a tough one to swallow. He’d done a lot of research on the topic and had found that unless he was in the 5 percent of people whose words didn’t even show up until they’d met their soulmate, he was most likely unmatched.

He figured it was for the best when he lost Riley and saw the devastated soulmate sobbing at the funeral. Sam didn’t want to leave anyone in that kind of pain if he could help it.

Then he met Steve Rogers and was pretty sure he WAS doomed, given the fights the man picked with corrupt government agencies and how likely he was to drag Sam along with him into said fights. Then things escalated into a fight to save the universe, which led to his five year hiatus from existence.

In the immediate aftermath of Thanos’s defeat and Steve’s handing him the shield, he had way too much on his mind to even think about soulmate stuff, so when it happened, he was taken completely by surprise.

He was going on a run one morning, missing Steve and brooding on the chaos in the world when he passed a couple of joggers and heard one say “Dear Lord, I want his babies.”

“Darcy!” Scolded a second voice. “What did I tell you about sexually harassing people first thing in the morning?”

Sam almost tripped and fell in shock as the sentence suddenly appeared in bright silver lettering on his arm. Dear Lord, I want his babies.

“Sorry. He’s just SO HOT my brain to mouth filter broke,” responded the first voice meekly.

“Not that it ever works,” retorted the second voice. “And it’s not me who you should apologize to.”

“I doubt he even heard me. Don’t worry, Jane.”

Sam leaned up against a tree, catching his breath while he waited for them to circle back around. He was not going to miss out on meeting his soulmate, especially since he didn’t think he was going to have one.

As they approached, he got a pretty good view.

They were both petite brunettes, one lean and one curvy. The shorter one was moving along steadily, ear buds in and continually checking her watch: clearly all business. The curvy one had thick dark hair pulled up in a messy bun and was complaining loudly about her lungs being on fire. Sam grinned. She was definitely his soulmate. As she grew closer, he amended that statement to gorgeous soulmate.

Her eyes widened when she saw him standing there, and she whispered something to her companion, who rolled her eyes and pushed her towards Sam, saying “Go. Flirt. Just don’t scare the poor guy off with your impulsive mouth.”

Sam grinned at her invitingly and that seemed to assure her, and she practically swaggered toward him. He thought those beautiful blue eyes would be the death of him as they sparkled mischievously the closer she got.

“Waiting on someone?” She asked in a tone that screamed “please let it be me.”

“As a matter of fact I am, soulmate,” Sam answered her, just as flirtatiously, casually displaying the writing on his arm.

Her hand flew to her mouth and her face flushed.

“You heard that?” She asked, looking everywhere but at him, clearly very embarrassed.

Sam nodded.

“Sure did. And a few seconds later, my Mark appeared. I’ve thought I was blank all my life.”

“So did I,” she admitted. “I don’t think I have one—-wait. There’s something weird on my foot.”

Taking off her shoe and sock, Sam’s soulmate discovered his first words to her written on her foot. She gasped, locked eyes with him, and then hurled herself at him.

“You’re right! We’re totally soulmates!! Yes!” She squealed as they embraced. “Janey! I found my soulmate!”

Sam chuckled as he held her, very ecstatic and almost disbelieving it had finally happened to him. She pulled back and looked at him curiously, as if trying to recognize him.

“Sam Wilson,” he supplied.

“No wonder you looked so familiar!” She exclaimed. “I can’t believe I get an avenger for my soulmate! Oh, I’m Darcy Lewis, by the way. I was all angry at Jane for dragging me out on a run, but I take it all back. Totally worth it.”

“I agree,” Sam said.

“Even though you’ve got THOSE words on you for the rest of your life?”

“Yep. Very flattering. I much prefer them to, say, “Look at that gross sweaty dude over there.””

Darcy giggled sheepishly.

“Well, I’m gross and sweaty, too, so that would have been highly hypocritical of me. Dude, your biceps! Ugh.”

She pretended to swoon dramatically.

“I hope you’ll like the rest of me, too,” Sam teased, letting her feel up said arms.

“Oh, I’m sure I will,” Darcy assured him happily. “Everything I’ve read about you screams “really good guy. And I get you for a soulmate!! Eek!”

She wriggled with delight and Sam started falling head over heels for her.

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp This is...Books. Lots and Lots of Books

That gif is something of a lie. Some of these books were not great. But! Some of them were very good! And some of them were marketed weird — seriously, what does qualify as YA — and some of them I read in, like, six hours and some of them I raged about for six hours after I finished them.

Or: 2020!Laura reverted to 2004!Laura and read just a lot of books and then her husband got her a Kindle and she read even more books and has thoughts on most of those books that she is now going to share with the internet while also making absurd category names. Note that these are only books I read for the first time this year. So, the list is missing some of the stuff I used as coping devices. ALSO SOME SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

FAVORITE BOOKS THAT MADE A SHITTY YEAR SLIGHTLY BETTER AND ALSO LIKELY MADE ME SWOON A BIT

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a terrifying creature arrives to demand retribution. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she knows about only from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not truly a beast, but one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled her world.

At least, he's not a beast all the time.

As she adapts to her new home, her feelings for the faerie, Tamlin, transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But something is not right in the faerie lands. An ancient, wicked shadow is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it, or doom Tamlin-and his world-forever.

— I kid you not, I had to do a lap around the apartment after reading the second book in this series. Why didn’t I read this before? Why isn’t there more fic? Why I am constantly falling for dark-haired sad dudes in love with their wives??? I cannot rec this series enough. It’s got world building and found families, and that dark-haired sad dude, and magic and lore and banter, and it’s so good and I don’t understand why it was marketed as YA. The literary world is weird, guys.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (and the Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan

Accompany the son of the sea god Poseidon and his other demigod friends as they go on a series of quests that will have them facing monsters, gods, and conniving figures from Greek mythology. Do they have what it takes to save the Olympians from an ancient enemy?

— Straight up, how did you guys cope with Percy and Annabeth when you were kids reading this? I would have been OBSESSED. Quarantine felt like the perfect time to finally read all of these books, and I know it’s sacrilegious to like Heroes of Olympus, but I might have liked parts of that series more? Just because it felt like they were older and I was super into Percabeth being properly in love. Also, now I get why everyone was so upset about the movies. Fair.

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl. . . .Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.

— Yet another YA series that I will admit to loving this year. Started off a little slow, but once the world building really got underway —and it gets underway — I was hooked. If I had read this at an age-appropriate time I would have been super in love Captain Carswell Thorne. I was still kind of in love with Captan Carswell Thorne. So it should come as no surprise that Cress was my favorite of the series, but I enjoyed the whole thing, really.

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin

Two years ago, Louise le Blanc fled her coven and took shelter in the city of Cesarine, forsaking all magic and living off whatever she could steal. There, witches like Lou are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.As a huntsman of the Church, Reid Diggory has lived his life by one principle: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. But when Lou pulls a wicked stunt, the two are forced into an impossible situation—marriage.Lou, unable to ignore her growing feelings, yet powerless to change what she is, must make a choice. And love makes fools of us all.

— YO. Y O. THIS WAS SO GOOD. World building! Magic! Marriage of convenience! Well-written enemies to lovers! As soon as I finished this, I bought the sequel. And then got upset the third book in the series isn’t out yet! That’s a frustrating theme for me this year.

The Roommate by Rosie Danan

The Wheatons are infamous among the east coast elite for their lack of impulse control, except for their daughter Clara. She's the consummate socialite: over-achieving, well-mannered, predictable. But every Wheaton has their weakness. When Clara's childhood crush invites her to move cross-country, the offer is too much to resist. Unfortunately, it's also too good to be true.

After a bait-and-switch, Clara finds herself sharing a lease with a charming stranger. Josh might be a bit too perceptive—not to mention handsome—for comfort, but there's a good chance he and Clara could have survived sharing a summer sublet if she hadn't looked him up on the Internet...

Once she learns how Josh has made a name for himself, Clara realizes living with him might make her the Wheaton's most scandalous story yet. His professional prowess inspires her to take tackling the stigma against female desire into her own hands. They may not agree on much, but Josh and Clara both believe women deserve better sex. What they decide to do about it will change both of their lives, and if they're lucky, they'll help everyone else get lucky too.

— I LOVED IT. L O V E D. As I told Justin “there was more porn than I was expecting,” in that porn and the adult film industry was a legitimate plot point and not just a part of Josh’s character, but it was incredibly well written and interesting and I cared about the plot. Sometimes I also wanted to shake Clara, but that was kind of the point.

The Marriage Game by Sara Desai

After her life falls apart, recruitment consultant Layla Patel returns home to her family in San Francisco. But in the eyes of her father, who runs a Michelin starred restaurant, she can do no wrong. He would do anything to see her smile again. With the best intentions in mind, he offers her the office upstairs to start her new business and creates a profile on an online dating site to find her a man. She doesn't know he's arranged a series of blind dates until the first one comes knocking on her door...

As CEO of a corporate downsizing company Sam Mehta is more used to conflict than calm. In search of a quiet new office, he finds the perfect space above a cozy Indian restaurant that smells like home. But when communication goes awry, he's forced to share his space with the owner's beautiful yet infuriating daughter Layla, her crazy family, and a parade of hopeful suitors, all of whom threaten to disrupt his carefully ordered life.

As they face off in close quarters, the sarcasm and sparks fly. But when the battle for the office becomes a battle of the heart, Sam and Layla have to decide if this is love or just a game.

— More well-written enemies to lovers! It’s possible! Seriously, the banter was so good. The kissing was even better. Ridiculous and interfering family is one of my favorite things, and this had it in SPADES. It also made me want to eat samosas, which is kind of my base setting, but I really wanted Indian food whenever I was reading this. Also, the end scene was so goddamn cute I cannot believe it actually happened.

Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev

— The one that got away is one of my favorite tropes, and this modern version of Persuasion did it so well. Everyone was annoying, but in an almost understandable way that made me ache and I just wanted them TO KISS. And then they did kiss! And it was so good! Plus, at the risk of being a little self-indulgent, it was kind of Out of the Frying Pan esque and I liked that a lot. If there is a downside: it’s how quickly the relationship starts up again, like zero to 60 in two seconds flat, and that there were a lot of POVs. Which wouldn’t have been an issue if they’d been labeled, or weren’t bouncing around the timeline randomly. Sometimes I’d have to be like—wait, who’s talking about what?

Chef Ashna Raje desperately needs a new strategy. How else can she save her beloved restaurant and prove to her estranged, overachieving mother that she isn't a complete screw up? When she's asked to join the cast of Cooking with the Stars, the latest hit reality show teaming chefs with celebrities, it seems like just the leap of faith she needs to put her restaurant back on the map. She's a chef, what's the worst that could happen?Rico Silva, that's what.Being paired with a celebrity who was her first love, the man who ghosted her at the worst possible time in her life, only proves what Ashna has always believed: leaps of faith are a recipe for disaster.FIFA winning soccer star Rico Silva isn't too happy to be paired up with Ashna either. Losing Ashna years ago almost destroyed him. The only silver lining to this bizarre situation is that he can finally prove to Ashna that he's definitely over her.But when their catastrophic first meeting goes viral, social media becomes obsessed with their chemistry. The competition on the show is fierce...and so is the simmering desire between Ashna and Rico. Every minute they spend together rekindles feelings that pull them toward their disastrous past. Will letting go again be another recipe for heartbreak—or a recipe for persuasion...?

The Good Luck Charm by Helena Hunting

Lilah isn't sure what hurt worse: the day Ethan left her to focus on his hockey career or the day he came back eight years later. He might think they can pick up just where they left off, but she's no longer that same girl and never wants to be again.

Just when Lilah might finally be ready to let Ethan in, though, she finds out their reunion might have nothing to do with love and everything to do with improving his game. But Ethan's already lost her once, and even if it costs him his career, he'll do anything to keep from losing her again.

— HOCKEY ROM COM. HOCKEY. ROM. COM. Apparently this lady is regarded as the queen of “hockey romance,” which I kind of take offense to, but will give a pass on because this was a very cute book and everyone was cute in it and I was only marginally frustrated by those same people being idiots. As is required by rom coms. Hockey, or otherwise.

A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Fall in love, break the curse. It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.

Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she's instead somehow sucked into Rhen's cursed world.

Break the curse, save the kingdom. A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

— Beauty and the Beast AU!!! Fantasy! Magic! Romance! I loved this, even when Rhen was being a whiny idiot. But he was also cursed, so like—fair. This dives into the politics of a cursed kingdom, puts a fun spin on the original fairy tale and also has a sequel. Which I read, and possibly enjoyed more. Only to realize the third book isn’t published yet, and then got annoyed by that.

QUESTIONABLY-GOOD FREE FANTASY BOOKS ON AMAZON

The Silver and Orchids Collection by Shari L Tapscott

What happens when a feisty adventuress, a lord looking to make his own way in the world, and a handsome sea captain set out to find Kalae’s rarest and most valuable flower?

Trouble—and lots of it.

— Snarky flirting! Adventure! Sword fights! Listen, this is not prize-winning fiction, but Lucia is a fun heroine, the rest of her adventure-seeking friends are an absolute delight and you don’t have to think too much while reading it. All four books wrap up their individual storylines, but help set up the next one and while the ending felt a little forced (and way too quick) I didn’t hate it enough to throw the Kindle across the room.

Forest of Firelight by Shari L. Tapscsott

After the sudden death of her brother, Princess Amalia is charged with what feels like an impossible task—she must choose the next king. Youthful thoughts of love are pushed aside as she accepts her fate, setting upon a quest throughout the kingdom to find a man worthy of her father’s throne.

Little does Amalia know, someone has already set his sights on her.

Rhys is a man of secrets, and his mission is simple: befriend the princess of Renove. Coax her to trust him, convince her to follow him.

Betray her when it’s time.

All goes according to plan until Rhys meets the princess. Amalia is a disaster. Never has he met someone so drawn to trouble. Never has he met someone so irritatingly likable.

He’s not allowed to fall for her.

She could never entrust him with a crown.

But, unbeknownst to them, their unlikely partnership might be the key to saving their entire world from a darkness that’s slowly creeping from the wounded earth that separates one kingdom from the next.

— FORBIDDEN LOVE! It’s good! Real good! I read this whole series (or the three books in it, so far) in a questionably short amount of time. Again, not the deepest story, and Amalia is occasionally frustratingly dumb. While Rhys is also sort of all-knowing in that fantasy hero sort of way? Y’know what I mean? Still, they banter very well, and eventually kiss even better.

LESS GOOD FANTASY BOOKS THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON AMAZON

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Fire Queen, was murdered before her eyes. On that day, the Kaiser took Theodosia's family, her land, and her name. Theo was crowned Ash Princess—a title of shame to bear in her new life as a prisoner.

For ten years Theo has been a captive in her own palace. She's endured the relentless abuse and ridicule of the Kaiser and his court. She is powerless, surviving in her new world only by burying the girl she was deep inside.

Then, one night, the Kaiser forces her to do the unthinkable. With blood on her hands and all hope of reclaiming her throne lost, she realizes that surviving is no longer enough. But she does have a weapon: her mind is sharper than any sword. And power isn't always won on the battlefield.

For ten years, the Ash Princess has seen her land pillaged and her people enslaved. That all ends here.

— I wanted to love this series. So much so that I read the whole thing. All three books. And I’m still not sure why. The world building, maybe. Which was very good, and the politics actually kept me interested, but every single character was the absolute worst and I kind of wanted them all to die. That’s not even an exaggeration. Spoiler, they didn’t all die. I was only marginally disappointed.

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

When the ruthless Pirate King learns of a legendary treasure map hidden on an enemy ship, his daughter, Alosa, knows that there's only one pirate for the job—herself. Leaving behind her beloved ship and crew, Alosa deliberately facilitates her own kidnapping to ensure her passage on the enemy ship. After all, who's going to suspect a seventeen-year-old girl locked in a cell?Then she meets the (surprisingly perceptive and unfairly attractive) first mate, Riden, who is charged with finding out all her secrets. Now it's down to a battle of wits and will... Can Alosa find the map and escape before Riden figures out her plan?

— Alosa was kind of the worst? Like, STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER who had to keep reminding you how strong she was because she would kill anyone, and had an all female pirate crew. And the whole time I was just like, ok...cool. Still, I read the sequel too and that was slightly better.

The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller

Alessandra is tired of being overlooked, but she has a plan to gain power:

1) Woo the Shadow King.

2) Marry him.

3) Kill him and take his kingdom for herself.

No one knows the extent of the freshly crowned Shadow King's power. Some say he can command the shadows that swirl around him to do his bidding. Others say they speak to him, whispering the thoughts of his enemies. Regardless, Alessandra knows what she deserves, and she's going to do everything within her power to get it.

But Alessandra's not the only one trying to kill the king. As attempts on his life are made, she finds herself trying to keep him alive long enough for him to make her his queen—all while struggling not to lose her heart. After all, who better for a Shadow King than a cunning, villainous queen?

— I cannot explain this book any way except to tell you it is so weird. Like, sometimes I remember I read this and all I can think is: why did this book happen? It felt like it started in the middle of the story, which is not a knock on the story itself, but mostly on the world building. Which was lacking to say the least. Also the resolution was super rushed and even more weird and I was like—why does he like her??? I still don’t know, honestly.

The Stars We Steal by Alexa Donne

Engagement season is in the air. Eighteen-year-old Princess Leonie "Leo" Kolburg, heir to a faded European spaceship, has only one thing on her mind: which lucky bachelor can save her family from financial ruin?

But when Leo's childhood friend and first love, Elliot, returns as the captain of a successful whiskey ship, everything changes. Elliot was the one who got away, the boy Leo's family deemed to be unsuitable for marriage. Now he's the biggest catch of the season and he seems determined to make Leo's life miserable. But old habits die hard, and as Leo navigates the glittering balls of the Valg Season, she finds herself falling for her first love in a game of love, lies, and past regrets.

— Another book whose lack of world building hurt it. Stuff just happened, and we were expected to understand it and be into it and I was neither. I had no reason to care about anyone in this book, especially Elliot who seemed like an asshole.

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian's heart to the Sea Queen and or remain a human forever.The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it's his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she's more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind's greatest enemy?

— This book did not go the way I thought it was going to. Not a bad thing, but also not the best and the ending was...bleh. The middle, though? That was legit, and the action was good. I am always a fan of sword fights. Still, there was something that left me waiting for the final push towards great and it just never really came.

ROM-COMS WITH ONLY PASSABLY FRUSTRATING PLOTS AND GOOD KISSING

Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory

Dating is the last thing on Olivia Monroe's mind when she moves to LA to start her own law firm. But when she meets a gorgeous man at a hotel bar and they spend the entire night flirting, she discovers too late that he is none other than hotshot junior senator Max Powell. Olivia has zero interest in dating a politician, but when a cake arrives at her office with the cutest message, she can't resist—it is chocolate cake, after all.

Olivia is surprised to find that Max is sweet, funny, and noble—not just some privileged white politician, as she assumed him to be. Because of Max's high-profile job, they start seeing each other secretly, which leads to clandestine dates and silly disguises. But when they finally go public, the intense media scrutiny means people are now digging up her rocky past and criticizing her job, even her suitability as a trophy girlfriend. Olivia knows what she has with Max is something special, but is it strong enough to survive the heat of the spotlight?

— It was cute. Max was occasionally an idiot. The kissing was legit. Most of their problems could have very easily been solved, but that’s kind of this genre’s schtick.

The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa

A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn't lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina's offered an opportunity that could change her life. There's just one hitch... she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he'll be working with his brother's whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him.If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they'll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina's ready to dish out a little payback of her own.Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn't interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again...

— Once you got past the hooking up with your ex’s brother thing, it was cute. Max was endearing in an earnest sort of way, even when Lina was STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER in a cliche sort of way. More solid kissing. Side note, why are so many rom com dudes named Max? Does it sound hip? Passably cool, but also approachable? Discuss. 

Not that Kind of Guy by Andie J. Christopher

State attorney Bridget Nolan is successful in all aspects of her life—except romance. After breaking up with her longtime boyfriend, she's been slow to reenter the dating scene. To be honest, she has more important things to do like putting bad guys behind bars. But with her brother's wedding right around the corner, she suddenly needs a date and fast. Lucky for Bridget, the legal intern is almost done with his program.

Matt Kido is dumbstruck by Bridget—total love at first sight—but there's one problem. She's totally off-limits while she's his boss. But the moment he no longer reports to her, Matt asks her on a date. An impulsive decision takes them to Las Vegas where, as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Unless you put a ring on it.

— Having written the “wake up in Vegas married” trope before, I know it’s difficult to do right. Consent’s a thing, y’know? And stuff gets dicy with forgotten memories, and all that, but mostly what kept me from truly loving this book was the intern thing. Don’t date your interns guys, it’s weird and off-putting. Literally if he’d just been a junior partner, or a visiting partner or something else I would have been all in.

Meet Cute by Helena Hunting

Kailyn Flowers was always calm, rational, and controlled—until she ended up sprawled all over Daxton Hughes, the former actor she totally crushed on as a teenager. Then she did the unthinkable: She became a mortifying fangirl in five seconds flat, which may or may not have included professing her undying love. And oddly, he didn't run away. In fact, their meet cute led to a friendship she never saw coming. Of course, she never saw his betrayal coming, either...Now Dax needs her help. As guardian to his thirteen-year-old sister, he's in way over his head. And though Kailyn hasn't forgiven Dax, she isn't heartless enough to make him fend for himself, either. Soon their friendly meetings turn into flirty dinner dates, and Kailyn can feel their chemistry is as explosive as ever. But how can she possibly let down her guard again to a guy who has heartbreak written all over him?

— Once again here for the one that got away trope, even if this comes with dead parents and some sad storylines. It still managed to be cute. Everyone was cute in it. Occasionally Daxton was a dick. As rom com male leads are apt to be.

If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane

If faking love is this easy... how do you know when it's real?When her partner of over a decade suddenly ends things, Laurie is left reeling—not only because they work at the same law firm and she has to see him every day. Her once perfect life is in shambles and the thought of dating again in the age of Tinder is nothing short of horrifying. When news of her ex's pregnant girlfriend hits the office grapevine, taking the humiliation lying down is not an option. Then a chance encounter in a broken-down elevator with the office playboy opens up a new possibility.Jamie Carter doesn't believe in love, but he needs a respectable, steady girlfriend to impress their bosses. Laurie wants a hot new man to give the rumor mill something else to talk about. It's the perfect proposition: a fauxmance played out on social media, with strategically staged photographs and a specific end date in mind. With the plan hatched, Laurie and Jamie begin to flaunt their new couple status, to the astonishment—and jealousy—of their friends and colleagues. But there's a fine line between pretending to be in love and actually falling for your charming, handsome fake boyfriend...

— FAKE DATING THAT LEADS TO REAL FEELINGS. The ex-boyfriend was an assssss, the fake boyfriend was charming, everything was good AND THEN WE GOT TO THE END. Which felt more than a little rushed, unexpected and not really in line with the rest of the book?? Give ‘em a slightly better, in-character ending, and I would have been sold.

BOOKS THAT I WAS LIKE...EH, OK

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway: a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing. Despite the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone, from the performers to the patrons, hanging in the balance.

— I think this book was too smart for me. The prose was gorgeous, and the whole thing was very pretty and I definitely swooned when Marco said he wished for Celia. And yet. By the end I was like...eh, ok. Maybe it was the timeline? Jumping around, or how little dialogue there was. I wanted to like it all so badly, and I’m just not sure I did.

Acting on Impulse by Mia Sosa

After a very public breakup with a media-hungry politician, fitness trainer Tori Alvarez escapes to Aruba for rest, relaxation, and copious amounts of sex on the beach—the cocktail, that is. She vows to keep her vacation a man-free zone but when a cute guy is seated next to her on the plane, Tori can't resist a little harmless flirting.Hollywood heartthrob Carter Stone underwent a dramatic physical transformation for his latest role and it's clear his stunning seat mate doesn't recognize the man beneath the shaggy beard and extra lean frame. Now Carter needs help rebuilding his buff physique and Tori is perfect for the job. It doesn't hurt that she makes his pulse pound in more ways than one.Sparks are flying, until a pesky paparazzo reveals Carter's identity. Tori is hurt and pissed. She wants nothing to do with another man in the limelight, but she's still got to whip him into shape. Can Carter convince Tori he's worth the threat to her privacy that comes with dating a famous actor, or will Tori chisel him down to nothing before he even gets the chance?

— Dudes have gotta stop lying about who they are. It’s not a great trope. Other than that, the kissing was good. The romance was like...eh. I honestly don’t remember much else.

Twice in a Blue Moon by Christina Lauren

During a whirlwind two-week vacation abroad, Sam and Tate fell for each other in only the way that first loves do: sharing all of their hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets along the way. Sam was the first, and only, person that Tate—the long-lost daughter of one of the world's biggest film stars—ever revealed her identity to. So when it became clear her trust was misplaced, her world shattered for good.

Fourteen years later, Tate, now an up-and-coming actress, only thinks about her first love every once in a blue moon. When she steps onto the set of her first big break, he's the last person she expects to see. Yet here Sam is, the same charming, confident man she knew, but even more alluring than she remembered. Forced to confront the man who betrayed her, Tate must ask herself if it's possible to do the wrong thing for the right reason... and whether "once in a lifetime" can come around twice.

— This book was...weird. The early romance was wonderful and delightful, but then shit hit the fan and Sam and Tate are adults and...weird. Like, I cannot come up with another word for it. Also, they didn’t really talk much? As adults? Working on the same movie set? W e i r d.

I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella

Fixie Farr has always lived by her father’s motto: “Family first.” And since her dad passed away, leaving his charming housewares store in the hands of his wife and children, Fixie spends all her time picking up the slack from her siblings instead of striking out on her own. The way Fixie sees it, if she doesn’t take care of her father’s legacy, who will?

It’s simply not in Fixie’s nature to say no to people. So when a handsome stranger in a coffee shop asks her to watch his laptop for a moment, she not only agrees—she ends up saving it from certain disaster. To thank Fixie for her quick thinking, the computer’s owner, Sebastian, an investment manager, scribbles an IOU on a coffee sleeve and attaches his business card. Fixie laughs it off—she’d never actually claim an IOU from a stranger. Would she?

But then Fixie’s childhood crush, Ryan, comes back into her life, and his lack of a profession pushes all of Fixie’s buttons. As always, she wants nothing for herself—but she’d love Seb to give Ryan a job. No sooner has Seb agreed than the tables are turned once more and a new series of IOUs between Seb and Fixie—from small favors to life-changing moments—ensues. Soon Fixie, Ms. Fixit for everyone else, is torn between her family and the life she really wants. Does she have the courage to take a stand? Will she finally grab the life, and love, she really wants?

— Let’s be upfront, I’ve read a lot of Sophie Kinsella in my life, and more often than not I enjoy what she writes. I mostly did here. It was a book. With obvious rom com problems, that could have very easily been solved, but it wasn’t horrible. So, that was good, I guess.

The Wedding Party by Jasmine Guillory

Maddie and Theo have two things in common:

1. Alexa is their best friend

2. They hate each other

After an "oops, we made a mistake" night together, neither one can stop thinking about the other. With Alexa's wedding rapidly approaching, Maddie and Theo both share bridal party responsibilities that require more interaction with each other than they're comfortable with. Underneath the sharp barbs they toss at each other is a simmering attraction that won't fade. It builds until they find themselves sneaking off together to release some tension when Alexa isn't looking, agreeing they would end it once the wedding is over. When it's suddenly pushed up and they only have a few months left of secret rendezvouses, they find themselves regretting that the end is near. Two people this different can't possibly have a connection other than the purely physical, right?

But as with any engagement with a nemesis, there are unspoken rules that must be abided by. First and foremost, don't fall in love.

— Eh, this book happened. I still have no idea why they couldn’t be together from the get. Obstacles for the sake of plot, I guess. Also political side stories? I don’t know, guys.

WEIRD POST-ENDING FEELINGS WERE INDUCED

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.

They're polar opposites.

In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they're living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer's block.

Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She'll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he'll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.

— Listen, I enjoyed this a lot. For the most part. It was funny, and introspective in a way that didn’t make me want to gag too much, and I wanted to defend January’s love of love with everything in me. But, then it—ended. And it was like...all tied up with this nice little ribbon and happily ever after, and I was like...oh, ok. Part of me that it was glad it ended like that, mostly because of who I am as a person, but the rest of me was also confused that after everything January and Augustus had been through and how messy their lives were it could just get all wrapped up in this HEA.

HITTING JUST A BIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade

Marcus Caster-Rupp has a secret. The world may know him as Aeneas, star of the biggest show on television, but fanfiction readers call him something else: Book!AeneasWouldNever. Marcus gets out his frustrations with the show through anonymous stories about the internet's favorite couple, Aeneas and Lavinia. But if anyone discovered his online persona, he'd be finished in Hollywood.April Whittier has secrets of her own. A hardcore Lavinia fan, she's long hidden her fanfic and cosplay hobbies from her "real life"—but not anymore. When she dares to post her latest costume creation on Twitter, her plus-size take goes viral. And when Marcus asks her out to spite her internet critics, truth officially becomes stranger than fanfiction. On their date, Marcus quickly realizes he wants more from April than a one-time publicity stunt. But when he discovers she's Unapologetic Lavinia Stan, his closest fandom friend, he has one more huge secret to keep from her.With love and Marcus's career on the line, can the two of them stop hiding once and for all, or will a match made in fandom end up prematurely cancelled?

— Here for plus-size heroines who get the guy and don’t have their (entire) storyline defined by their looks. Less here for the weird fandom culture, the ensuing second-hand embarrassment that came from that and the thankfulness that both Colin O’Donoghue and Bob Morley appear to be happily married so it seems very unlikely they’re writing fic about their characters under pseudonyms. Stop using Ao3 in actual published stories 2k4ever.

RAGE-INDUCING BOOKS OF ABSOLUTE FURY

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Kristen Peterson doesn't do drama, will fight to the death for her friends, and has no room in her life for guys who just don't get her. She's also keeping a big secret: facing a medically necessary procedure that will make it impossible for her to have children.Planning her best friend's wedding is bittersweet for Kristen — especially when she meets the best man, Josh Copeland. He's funny, sexy, never offended by her mile-wide streak of sarcasm, and always one chicken enchilada ahead of her hangry. Even her dog, Stuntman Mike, adores him. The only catch: Josh wants a big family someday. Kristen knows he'd be better off with someone else, but as their attraction grows, it's harder and harder to keep him at arm's length.The Friend Zone will have you laughing one moment and grabbing for tissues the next as it tackles the realities of infertility and loss with wit, heart, and a lot of sass.

— LISTEN THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE, BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS A SECRET GUT PUNCH AND PEOPLE SHOULD BE AWARE. Not only is infertility, like, the defining theme of this book, but the BEST FRIEND DIES. Just—dies. It’s horrible. Absolutely God awful depressing. And for a second he looks like he won’t, and it’ll be fine, but then it is not and he’s just D E A D. I know, I know that sets up the sequel, but this was so goddamn heavy in an unsuspecting way that I have absolutely no intention of reading the next one.

Well Met by Jen DeLuca

Emily knew there would be strings attached when she relocated to the small town of Willow Creek, Maryland, for the summer to help her sister recover from an accident, but who could anticipate getting roped into volunteering for the local Renaissance Faire alongside her teenaged niece? Or that the irritating and inscrutable schoolteacher in charge of the volunteers would be so annoying that she finds it impossible to stop thinking about him?

The faire is Simon's family legacy and from the start he makes clear he doesn't have time for Emily's lighthearted approach to life, her oddball Shakespeare conspiracy theories, or her endless suggestions for new acts to shake things up. Yet on the faire grounds he becomes a different person, flirting freely with Emily when she's in her revealing wench's costume. But is this attraction real, or just part of the characters they're portraying?

This summer was only ever supposed to be a pit stop on the way to somewhere else for Emily, but soon she can't seem to shake the fantasy of establishing something more with Simon or a permanent home of her own in Willow Creek.

— FUCK THIS BOOK. And fuck Simon, specifically. Oh, you have a sad story? Cool, you’re still a dick. He was a dick. Listen, I know enemies to lovers is a hard trope to write, but it’s even harder to accept when those enemies just announce I LIKED YOU THE WHOLE TIME and then everyone starts ripping off their clothes. No, it’s dumb. I hate it. Apparently there’s a sequel to this book. Maybe that’s better.

Kiss My Cupcake by Helena Hunting

Blaire Calloway has planned every Instagram-worthy moment of her cupcake and cocktails shop launch down to the tiniest detail. What she didn't plan on? Ronan Knight and his old-school sports bar next door opening on the very same day. He may be super swoony, but Blaire hasn't spent years obsessing over buttercream and bourbon to have him ruin her chance at success.From axe throwing (his place) to frosting contests (hers), Blaire and Ronan are constantly trying to one-up each other in a battle to win new customers. But with every clash, there's also an undeniable chemistry. When an even bigger threat to their business comes to town, they're forced to call a temporary time-out on their own war and work together. And the more time Blaire spends getting to know the real Ronan, the more she wonders if it's possible to have her cupcake and eat it too.

— Listen, I wanted to like this one. There were plenty other Helena Hunting books on this list, so like—I don’t hate her. I just hate poorly executed enemies to lovers plot lines. Give me at least one moment where they are interested in each other aside from just being attracted to each other. Also: Stop Having Dudes Be Dicks Because Of Their Sad Backstory 2k4ever.

Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane

You always remember your first love... don't you?If there's anything worse than being fired from the worst restaurant in town, it's coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way—bartender in a newly opened pub. There's only one problem: it's run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And—make that two problems—he doesn't remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat... what more could a girl really need?Lucas McCarthy has not only grown into a broodingly handsome man, but he's also turned into an actual grown-up, with a thriving business and a dog along the way. Crossing paths with him again throws Georgina's rocky present into sharp relief—and brings a secret from her past bubbling to the surface. Only she knows what happened twelve years ago, and why she's allowed the memories to chase her ever since. But maybe it's not too late for the truth... or a second chance with the one that got away?

— HE WAS JUST PRETENDING NOT TO REMEMBER HER THE WHOLE TIME???? WHAT?? WHY??? D U M B. Dumb boys are dumb.

Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher

Jack Nolan is a gentleman, a journalist, and unlucky in love. His viral success has pigeon-holed him as the how-to guy for a buzzy, internet media company instead of covering hard-hitting politics. Fed up with his fluffy articles and the app-based dating scene as well, he strikes a deal with his boss to write a final piece de resistance: How to Lose a Girl. Easier said than done when the girl he meets is Hannah Mayfield, and he's not sure he wants her to dump him.

Hannah is an extremely successful event planner who's focused on climbing the career ladder. Her firm is one of the most prestigious in the city, and she's determined to secure her next promotion. But Hannah has a bit of an image problem. She needs to show her boss that she has range, including planning dreaded, romantic weddings. Enter Jack. He's the perfect man to date for a couple weeks to prove to her boss that she's not scared of feelings.

Before Jack and Hannah know it, their fake relationship starts to feel all too real—and neither of them can stand to lose each other.

— This is actually the prequel to Not That Kind of Guy and I honestly can’t believe I read that after hating this book so much. They were awful to each other! Their whole relationship was based on lies! Mean lies! Horrible lies! Don’t lie to your significant other!

[kaypeace21]

Your El post was great and made me realise why I have so much of a problem with how she is portrayed in fanon, as if she didn't miss out on her whole early childhood development? So much fic about her completely ignores her intellectual delay and what the actual effects of her trauma would be. M*leven writers in particular really tend to make El some kind of self-insert instead of paying attention to who she really is and how she behaves. Pretty certain now that M*leven's not a healthy endgame.

El psych post here.

Aw, thanks. Yep , a lot of supposed ‘El fans’ (not all) don’t really care about El as a person. It’s sad cause she is a really interesting and engaging character - but most reduce her to her telekenesis and being Mike’s girlfriend. Some see her as a  chosen one/power fantasy character they can project on to, to feel powerful. And some just fantasize about being with Finn, (so project on to El) . Others also just like the cliche of “main girl/guy” getting together. Or just refuse to let go of a ship they got so worked up about in s1, so choose to live in denial about how s3 spells out how mileven is doomed (and how even s2 hinted at this). Others simply ignore her trauma, neglect, and lack of socialization and how it clearly affects her. And ignore how getting into a relationship with a boy she knew for less than a week , who she asked “Will you be like my brother? Why not?” / and even asked if they’d go to the dance as ‘ friends’?” Before he kisses her -is questionable to say the least. Especially, cause only a day or 2 before : she just learned what a friend even was. Yet , people expect her to automatically and inexplicably understand the distinctions between platonic, familial, and romantic love? Or even the distinctions between crushes, physical attraction, or actual romantic love? They paralleled Hopper/El to mileven to show how she’s confusing her familial love for Mike with romance (they showed that by paralleling them to sibling/cousins too) .See parallels here.

El was dating Mike for 6 months, despite asking Max “How do I know what I like?” That’s something she should have known BEFORE dating someone!  Girl , said she’s not even sure she likes kissing Mike cause he’s her “first boyfriend”- and after dumping him/  this kiss convo, she swoons at a new boy in a magazine. Poor El doesn’t need a bf she needs a stable support system (of friends and family) to help her learn about the world and herself-before even thinking about romance.

Do some not think it’s a little strange a 14 year old is SO into teddy bears (like Holly who carries one in s3)? And don’t see it’s actually a hint she’s delayed? Not to mention , El in s2 was just taught (by Hopper) how to tell time and what the word “compromise” meant . And in s3 , she  doesn’t even know what a State is . While , in contrast, Mike in s2 was talking about “ectotherms”,  schooled Hopper about computer programming , and won the science fair 4x. The knowledge imbalance/gap is just - VERY problematic .

Some will delude themselves and think El in a year will just magically catch up with her friends . While others low key LOVE how behind she is and like the idea of her being completely reliant/dependent on Mike to teach her things  -ick. I saw a mileven say El in s4 would probably believe in Santa and Mike would lie/trick her so she’d think he’s real.And they acted like that was romantic . And they saw no problems with that whole can of worms. I could not deal with how problematic that post was and all the likes/ and 28 reblogs.😑

No normally developed teenager would hear about Santa and actually believe it.Call me crazy, but maybe a boy who is intellectually gifted shouldn’t be with a girl who he could theoretically trick into thinking Santa is real. And y’know, maybe El wouldn’t like to be LIED to since she dumped Mike for lying to her in s3.

But, I understand that this fandom has a lot of young fans, despite the Duffers’  saying this is “not  a kids show” . So a lot of these kid-fans (unlike most adults and some teen fans ) don’t comprehend why such a gap in knowledge between 2 people in a romantic coupling is problematic (not cute). Or why being so attached to a partner (to the point of neglecting other relationships) isn’t healthy . Especially when they have the (then future) girlfriend violently push the guy’s gal-friend cause they smiled at eachother and she was jealous, have that same couple never apologize to eachother for lying/stalking eachother , have the couple have nothing in common, nor have conversations that better help them understand one another but in fact cause even more confusion- so instead they just kiss all the time . It’s a mess. When older they’ll probably... hopefully... understand why mileven was considered SO... questionable.

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Eight: Heat/Ice

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Playing hooky leads to more delicious food (Sy cooks! Swoon!), some deep conversation, and new revelations about Shane’s past.

What? You’re behind? Don’t worry! CLICK ME to catch up before reading this chapter!

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, more food sluttiness, shameless nerd speak, unfettered and shameless sappiness.

Author’s Note: So, guys, I’m sorry. I really wanted to get this chapter to you Sunday. Life has just been a bit disheartening of late. Between being upset over some personal turmoil some friends are going through (two of my oldest friends are getting a divorce!) and coming home from work utterly exhausted on all possible levels, it’s been hard to write about lovey dovey things. As I said in my recent reblog of my masterlist, though, I’m working on some prologues, one for each character. I don’t plan on them being terribly long, but I want you guys to have some more back story.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

It was hard to feel guilty for calling out of work for the afternoon under false pretenses when she was curled up on the sectional in Sy’s “nerd lair” with his head in her lap as they watched John Wick on the massive TV he had down there.

“You mean to tell me we watched the entire Bourne franchise upstairs on that…that iPod Touch, by comparison, when we could have watched down here on this majestic monolith!? In what is essentially a theater!?” She’d asked immediately, derailing the grand tour of the museum of things she would soon find amazing.

“Hey, I haven’t been coming down here a whole lot since I hurt my knee. Stairs haven't exactly been easy or, ya know, possible. I had my gaming computer down here for weeks, too, couldn't do a damn thing about it, because I didn't trust a'one of my buddies or my neighbors to haul her up the stairs for me. Leia's a custom machine worth thousands a' dollars. If she's getting' broke, it's all gonna be on me."

"You named your gaming computer? Leia?" So many emotions were flooding her. Adoration, sympathy, lust, and just a sheer need to squeeze the bejeezus out of him.

"Yeah, it's a common thing. And…not to be that guy, but…you do know who Leia is, right?

"If by Leia, you mean Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, true daughter of Darth Vader, adopted by Bail Organa at birth, sister of Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebellion against the Empire?"

"Hey, I thought you wanted to take things slow, sunshine." he pulled her close, flush with his body. "Then you go talkin' all sexy to me like that." he lingered at her cheek with light kisses.

"Well, you did the same with your baseball talk the other night." she moaned into the contact with relish.

"I can't help it if certain sports terms have made their way into everyday speech. Your…exposition there, about my boyhood crush was intentional."

"You had a crush on Leia?" he nodded, shyly. "I had a crush on Han! Heck with Cap and Widow, THERE'S our couple's costume for next Halloween!" she said, excitedly!

"Oh, I didn't know you were talking about costumes for public use." he said, a naughty smirk in his eye.

"Stop it, you. Finish your tour. I want that soup on the stove." she said, patting her tummy.

He showed her the various memorabilia he'd procured over the years. Posters from a few of her favorites, and a few others that she recognized but wasn't as excited about. Die Cast models of several famous film vessels and vehicles, and a "life size" LEGO R2-D2 which would have had her salivating even if she hadn't been hungry. Apparently it took him almost a month to assemble the droid, but he did it all by himself.

"Aww…I wish I could have helped." she lamented.

"Maybe I'll pick up the Death Star and we can do that one together."

She nodded excitedly, eyes wide, rubbing her hands together in front of her chin with greed.

"Okay, little mouse." he chuckled. "Let's fill that belly and start this movie."

They filled massive bowls with generous portions and took the crackers down stairs so they could start the marathon. If they wanted to get through all three films tonight, they'd best get started.

They were both fairly quick eaters out of habit given her often truncated lunch breaks and his typical ten minutes in the mess hall. Even savoring the delicious creamy, cheesy concoction, as she tried to do, it was hard to slow down on. It did give her something to focus on during the first, emotionally devastating part of the film though. Once she finished, she expressed a final  groan of delight and thanked Sy, kissing him on his cheek as she held the other. She felt the smile bloom across his face as she prolonged the contact.

They were about halfway through the movie, a big fight scene in a night club, when something dark and grim hit Shane in the chest. Watching Keanu Reeves pretend to beat up and kill all of these actors and stunt men, it occurred to her that the man with his head resting gently on her lap, long body taking up the rest of that side of the sectional, had fought and killed. The man letting her play her fingers through his hair and beard had shot and blown up people. He was told to do it. Ordered to do it. But even though he was doing it lawfully and by military order, as far as she knew, it was still his job…at least some of the time. She knew that was an oversimplification of the function of the armed forces, but…sometimes, it was an apt description.

She had never thought of Sy like that before. Someone other than the strong but gentle teddy bear that had come to be such a comforting presence in her life. She needed that, after all she'd been through…she tried not to think about the hurt of her last relationship. She hadn't discussed it with Sy. It was history. Ancient history. But she was, after all, a believer in the fact that those who knew nothing of the past were doomed to repeat it. She'd tell him…one day. Everything that Elliott had done to her…had put her through. But not tonight. Suddenly, she thought being on the arm of a soldier, someone who'd lived the kind of life that Captain Logan Syverson had lived, might make her feel more safe than she had in ages.

"You're awful quiet, sunshine." he said, cracking a beer open and handing it to her before doing the same for himself and sitting down with his thick arm around her.

"Just…trying to be respectful of the movie experience. You know." she smirked at him as the menu music to the second movie played.

"It ain't that. I know this is still new, what we're doin', but I've watched enough movies with ya over the last few weeks to know that you don't keep quiet for a full length feature." Shane worried the tab on her cold Miller Lite. She wasn't sure how to bring this forward. "Spill it, sweetheart. What's eatin' ya?"

"What…what do you think about when you're watching movies like this, Sy?"

"Guess, same as anybody. How awesome the fighting and driving is. Wondering when Keanu got to be a badass. And if there's really an underground society of assassins. Why, hon?"

"I, umm, I only wondered if it…it doesn't make you miss…your job?"

The smile he gave her was both bemused and amused. "Come 'ere." he prompted her to lean her head into him, and sat his beer down on the buffet behind the couch so he could better hold her. "Do we need to go over the function of a captain of the Army of These United States? Because as flattered as I am that you think so highly of me, I'm no John Wick, nor do I know anyone like John Wick. Or five guys that would make one John Wick. Ten guys. Maybe twenty."

"The fighting doesn't bring anything back?" she smoothed the creases in his shorts as she tried not to act like she was over thinking his past.

"That fightin’s…it's like dancing. It's choreographed, precise, and the outcome is predetermined. Real fights are the exact opposite. They're chaos, unpredictable, and the right guys don't always win. Trust me, I've seen a lot of them go south in a big way." they both let a moment of silence pass before Sy broke it. "What’re ya really askin’, Shane?"

She wanted to ask so many things. The questions seemed to clog the ventricles of her brain like leaves in a rain gutter. Bottlenecked traffic.

"I just…couldn't help but think…about things you must have had to do when…when you were active, and I just…if you need to talk about anything, I'm here." She imagined that taking someone's life, no matter how personal or impersonal the act itself seemed on the surface, would create some level of emotional scarring.

“Oh, sweetheart." he kissed the top of her head, making her feel as warm and cozy as the soup had…perhaps more so. "You are important to me for so many reasons. You've shown me how to smile again. Laugh. Real, genuine happiness. No sarcastic shit like I had to use on my men in my squad. But although I'd feel comfortable talkin' to ya 'bout near anything, there's a counselor on the base who's specifically trained to help guys like me. Who've seen what I've seen and been through…similar situations. He makes sure I don't feel like less of a man for what happened to me. You make me feel…like more than a man…something stronger than I thought possible."

She was straining hard to corral the tears within her waterline, but they broke free when he squeezed her tightly to him with both of his massive arms.

"So…that HEP I gave you is working?" she laughed, knowing full well that his home exercise program had no bearing on the strength he meant.

"Come on, Shane." he raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her to see herself the way he saw her. "Them handouts you give me don't mean a hill o' beans in this conversation and you know it. The way you hold yourself, speak to others. There is so much quiet strength in your kindness that comes right out of your beautiful little heart. Some days I'll see you working with kids, if I get in early, and I know they annoy you and freak you out, but you never let that show." He looked into her eyes, misty from emotion, and he wiped away the tears from her cheeks. "I'll never be able to explain it right, the way you inspire me to be a better and stronger man. And my heart just breaks to hear you put yourself down. And don't say you're just kidding, because I know you think you are, but behind every one of those jokes is a truth, at least as you see it." He'd seen her make to argue and knew her tactic before she had attempted it. "Give yourself some credit, Shane."

"I'm too busy blaming myself for the bad stuff to give myself credit for anything good." she sniffed. "You're the first guy I've…I've been involved with that's acted like I was worth anything more than a meal ticket. Someone who was only suitable for enough sex to make it an official relationship just so they could have a place to live, and do whatever quasi-job was a thing. First serious boyfriend was a freelance writer, but he never seemed to be writing. Then there was the guy with the internet start-up…but he could never tell me in a satisfactory way what the company actually did…so that was brief."

He seemed to know she was bracing for something big. Something difficult. He gave her silence and stroked her shoulder in encouragement to continue. She took one of her deepest ever breaths.

"Then came Elliott. Elliott Thomas. My last boyfriend. The worst of them all. Most useless and greatest offender. I ignored all of the signs, of course. He had a YouTube channel and an Instagram that he was trying to gain followers on and become a so-called "influencer." she rolled her eyes. "He had no life skills. He had a bit of an eye for photography and he could find humor in uncommon places, which he thought made him insta-famous and vlog-worthy."

"I hate him already." Sy growled.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you the rest, then." he asked her to go on. "He always seemed to find these ways to cheat on me and lie to me that I couldn't quite prove, but I was just certain of. But I just…I didn't want to believe it. I wanted THAT one to work. Well. I came home one night after work, and he had another girl in our bedroom. I told him he had until the next day when I got home to leave. Things got a little physical, but I can hold my own." she said, proudly, "and I bolted with my purse. I stayed with Heather, our evening secretary, and we hashed it out, and got a little blitzed on moscato, and cried together."

"Wow."

"He was gone the next day. All I heard from my landlord was, 'you shouldn't be hearing from him anytime soon.' so I guess he had his cop buddies send him a message. He blocked me on all social media and I haven't heard a peep from him since. That was five years ago."

"What a scum bag." he stated, obviously.

"Yeah, I haven't been able to really think about a relationship since then…until…" she let the word hang there, knowing they both knew what the end of the sentence was. "Until I met you." Drifting unsaid in the ether of the unspoken.

"It's been a long time for me too. I mean…I haven't quite been a monk, but I haven't…I haven't cared for a girl since…actually, I've never felt this way about anyone."

"I didn't mean to unpack all of that tonight when we're only a third of the way through our marathon. I really wasn't even going to bring it up at all. It's just…been on my mind. Ya know. I once heard a very poignant parable about keeping your mouth shut if you're warm and happy. I was attempting to do that." she chuckled.

"Yeah, but we need to be able to open up to people in this life. Keeping a bottle stopped under pressure ain't no good for the bottle. Or what's inside."

"Such wisdom. You know just what to say to me." she grinned into him.

"Just seen what keeping yourself closed off can do to a person. And the people they love."

Love…there was that word in the air. Not officially said, but felt in all ways. They held each other close as the opening to the second movie played.

Up Next: Chapter Nine-Group Therapy