#miss Jensen has been busy

[little-diable]

Midnight Hotline - Dean Winchester (smut)

After meeting Jensen Ackles this weekend, I simply needed to write a Dean drabble. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: For weeks now, Dean has been calling the Midnight Hotline to speak to Lilith, a stranger he has fallen in love with while sharing his secrets and confessions. And now as they are in the same city, it’s finally time to meet.

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, oral (f), strangers to lovers

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (2.7k words)

“Midnight Hotline, this is Lilith speaking.” Her voice rang in his ears, instantly drawing a smile to his lips. He had to clear his throat before speaking up, sinking further into the leather seat as his eyes stared down on the city.  

“Hi, Lilith. It’s me.” The chuckle rumbling through her made his heart skip a beat. A by now all too familiar warmth began to spread through him, instantly distracting him from the grim feeling he hadn’t been able to shake. 

“Bobby! I was waiting for your call.” He still wasn’t used to the name he had given her weeks ago, knowing that he couldn’t share any personal details with the voice on the other end of the line. Dean hadn’t given the name much thought, it had instantly come to mind to comfort himself when he needed strength to move on. Strength only she managed to give him lately - her, the voice of a woman he didn’t know. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I was busy, but I missed talking to you.” The words rolled off Dean’s tongue before he could stop them, trying to ignore the heat now spreading through his cheeks. He fumbled with the zip of his leather jacket, needing to find something he could use to distract himself from the sensations her voice pushed through him.

“Oh, I missed you too! Were you travelling again?” A deep hum left Dean while he wondered how she wore her hair today, what she wore and how she was feeling now, talking to him. Weeks ago he had asked her for a description of herself, it hadn’t been much, besides her hair and eye color, and yet it had been enough to shoot shudders down his spine. 

“I was, I’m in Colorado now.” Her breath shuddered as she exhaled, making him awfully aware of the silence that followed his words. Dean counted the passing by seconds, only allowing the sound of Lilith clearing her throat to interrupt him. 

“I’m also in Colorado.” She whispered the words, making Dean awfully aware of the thoughts now seemingly racing through her mind. 

Could this be their chance? Could this be the moment to break all rules she had once sworn to follow? 

“Where are you at, sweetheart?” Once again she mumbled the reply, leaving Dean to swallow heavily as he stared down at the city whose name she had just dropped. For a moment, he pondered over his choices, wondering if he should go ahead and follow the call of his heart to finally meet the woman who called herself Lilith, or if he should stay away like his mind begged him to. 

“When does your shift end?” His question was met with silence. Perhaps he had gone too far, perhaps she didn’t want to meet him like he desperately wanted to meet her. But the shaky giggle leaving her told Dean all he needed to know. She wanted this as much as he did, bound together by the past weeks, aching to finally meet after imagining the other since their first call. 

“Are we really doing this?” She kept her voice small, seemingly wondering herself if this was a good idea. Dean’s tongue rang along his lower lip, buying his racing heart a few more seconds before speaking up again. 

“We sure as hell are, sweetheart. Where should I pick you up?” 

……

Dean couldn’t remember the last time he had been this nervous. This had something so unfamiliar to it, he had to force his body to stay right there and not to run like he wanted to. For the first time since he could remember, Dean began to doubt the way he may come across, wondering if she felt the same draw he had been trying to swallow and bury six feet under for a while now.

But before he could rerun all the things he wanted to say to her again, the sound of somebody nearing ripped his focus from his phone. He was leaning against Baby, wrapped in his dark jacket to try and shield himself from the cold air of the night, sensations that were forgotten the second his eyes met hers. 

Dean could instantly tell that it was her, carrying a soft smile that made him forget everything around him. His heart was in his throat, pounding louder than it had ever before - all while watching her approach. He allowed his eyes to take her in, wandering up and down her frame, just like hers did with him. Fuck, she was even prettier than he had imagined her to be, a woman so gorgeous, Dean wasn’t sure if he was under some spell, toying with his vision. 

“Bobby?” The sound of her voice forced all darkening thoughts into the back of his mind, purely focused on her. He nodded his head while reaching his hand out for her to take, set on pulling her in for a hug. The scent of her perfume washed through him, forcing Dean’s mind to cling to it with the silent promise of remembering this for the rest of his life. 

Her arms found their way around his middle, letting her head rest against his chest as he hugged her. No word was shared between them, letting their minds catch up with what was happening - something they had been dreaming of and longing for ever since their first call. 

“Hi,” she softly mumbled the word, looking up at him with eyes that seemed to uncover his every secret, instantly leaving Dean breathless. He couldn’t stop his hand from cupping her warm cheek, letting his thumb trace her soft skin as he repeated the word. 

“You’re even more handsome than I imagined you to be.” Her voice didn’t carry much strength as she spoke, just enough to draw a soft blush to his cold cheeks. 

“Well, seems like we got something in common there, you’re gorgeous, sweetheart.” Her smile grew wider at his compliment, keeping her focus on him as she slowly loosened her grip on him. But Dean didn’t let go of her just yet, needing to feel her close for as long as possible. “My real name’s Dean, I’m sorry for keeping that from you.” 

Her laugh left him grinning, watching her shake her head while moving closer once again, “Nice to meet you, Dean. I’m (y/n).” 

Dean had to force himself to snap out of his hazy state, wanting to cross the small distance between them to taste her name on his tongue for the first time before kissing her. But even though his heart urged him on to move, he fought against it, at least for now.

“Are you hungry? Or you want to go for a drink?” She studied him for a handful of seconds, unable to bite down her growing grin. 

“How about you come over to mine? I have some beer at home.” 

……

“Here you go.” She gave Dean a bottle of beer before sitting down next to him, letting her eyes take in every inch of his handsome features. The whole thing felt like a dream, something that was entirely too good to be true, and yet (y/n) tried to cherish every second, not daring to break away from him. “This still feels surreal. What are you even doing around here?”

She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he took a few sips of beer, buying himself some time before clearing his throat. Dean had his arm placed on the couch, resting behind her to keep (y/n) somewhat close without touching her, just enough closeness to give her the opportunity to shuffle closer and rest against him. A draw both were held hostage by, unable to fight against it. 

“My brother and I had some work stuff to do around here.” A hum left her, eyes fully focused on Dean and the soft smile playing on his lips. She could marvel at him for hours, getting lost in the green pupils that told stories she wanted to uncover one by one, learning everything about the man she had developed a crush on without even seeing him. 

“So, you will leave soon again, won’t you?” He placed the bottle down before fully turning towards her, hand finding her shoulder to let his fingers run along her skin. A sombre feeling began to stretch through the two of them, knowing that their time together wasn’t long and would end sooner than both liked. Dean nodded his head, trying to find words that would promise his return, even though he knew it could be weeks, perhaps even months, until he’d get another chance to return.

“Seems like we’ll have to make the best out of our time then.” The words rolled off her tongue seconds before she shuffled closer, letting her arms find their way around his neck. Three seconds passed until Dean began to move, two shaky breaths left them both, and one mumble of his name was all it took for Dean to kiss her breathless.

Perhaps they were moving all too fast, skipping important steps others clung to. But for the past weeks they had shared more with one another than they had with any other person, set on learning everything about the person on the other end of the line. It felt like they simply belonged together, forming a bond so sweet and sincere, neither had felt this alive before. 

Dean pulled her into his lap, hands resting on her waist to try and ground himself. This was more than just a fun night with a woman he’d never see again. This was everything he had never dared to give in to. This was what he had always feared, being with a woman who held his heart in her hands, giving her the power to toy with him. 

“Will this be a one night thing only?” (Y/n) mumbled the words against his slightly puffy lips, not daring to get lost in his darkening eyes before she had her answer. Dean’s hand found her chin, tilting it upwards to let her eyes find his. 

“Do you want it to be a one night thing?” His raspy voice buzzed through her like lightning striking her trembling body, setting her ablaze with a heat so strong, (y/n) feared she was about to lose control over her body. She had never been one for taking drugs, for chasing highs she couldn’t control, but now she couldn’t care about letting go, not when Dean held her oh so close. 

“No.” It was a simple reply, and yet it was enough to make a smirk grow on his lips. Dean kissed her again before he rose to his feet with her clinging to him, wordlessly letting her guide him towards her bedroom with her finger pointed in the right direction. Carefully, he placed her down on her bed, making room for him to shuffle out of his shirt to expose his naked upper body to her wandering eyes. 

“This is much more than just one night, I will come back to you, sweetheart. I promise.” Her laughter reverberated through the bedroom, leaving Dean chuckling before he tugged on her shirt. Both were a mess of tangled limbs as they undressed, leaving them both in their underwear before he pushed (y/n) down on the mattress, hovering over her. 

His lips kissed their way to her chest, sucking on the spots that made her breath hitch in her chest. Dean was high on her noises, wondering if being with women had always been like this and if he had simply never paid enough attention or if this was all about being with (y/n). Everything about this felt different, a routine he had once known by heart turning into something completely new he never wanted to let go of again. 

“Dean, touch me, please. Been waiting too long for this to happen.” (Y/n)’s impatient words left him chuckling while he undid her bra, exposing her breasts to his excited eyes. Sweet nothings left him as he marked her up, sucking on her hardening nubs and letting his hands palm her skin before moving further down south. Their eyes held contact, connected through every passing moment. 

“You’re so gorgeous, baby, I can’t wait to have my way with you.” She mewled his name, eyes fluttering close as he pressed a kiss to her clothed heat. Slowly, Dean pulled her panties down her legs, letting the fabric drop to the ground before kissing his way to her pulsing bundle. A moan clawed through (y/n) at the new sensation, high on the feeling of his rough tongue brushing against her bundle, on the way he brushed two fingers through her slit to spread her arousal on her warm skin. “You taste so sweet, fuck, I could do this forever.” 

“Make me cum, please, Dean. I need you.” (Y/n) arched her back off the mattress, toes curled as her orgasm crept closer and closer. He sucked on her bundle, drawing another moan from her that left him grinning in success. Dean wanted to see her cum when he was buried deep inside of her, knowing that he couldn’t drag this out much longer. “I want you so bad, make me yours.”

“You’re already mine, sweetheart. I’d be stupid to let you go again.” He let go of her to step out of his boxers, hand finding his hard cock to give it a few tugs. (Y/n) momentarily shuffled away from her spot, reaching for a condom Dean rolled down on his length, leaving both nervous for a second as he positioned himself. 

“Oh my god, fuck.” She choked on her words as he sank into her, moving slowly to let them both adjust. Dean pressed his forehead against hers, giving her the opportunity to sling one arm around his neck while the other ran down his back, scratching at his skin. He moved carefully at first, keeping her legs wrapped around his waist while he stretched her perfectly, making her feel full with every thrust. 

“Focus on me, baby.” Their eyes met again, wordlessly sharing their every thought, every longing they struggled to put into words. She felt loved, more loved than ever before, all because of a man she had met for the first time hours ago, even though she knew his darkest and deepest secrets. He felt appreciated and complete for the first time in his life, he had finally found what he had always been searching for, and it had come in the shape of a woman he had fallen head over heels in love with.

Their bodies melted together with every thrust, tangled limbs and racing hearts that formed a completed picture. She whimpered his name, knowing that her orgasm was all too close and ready to bury her six feet under with Dean clinging to her like ancient lovers buried together. Nothing could rip them apart, nothing could stand in their way as they loved one another like they had always ached to be loved. 

“I’m so close, Dean.” Her whispers spurred him on, letting his hand find her bundle to give her the needed pressure. She came first, letting go with another moan as his hips kept snapping against hers. Dean fucked her through her high, watching her unfold beneath him with a proud smirk glued to his lips.

He came moments later, burying his face in the crook of her neck to let the scent of her perfume engulf him. She clung to him, wordlessly trying to find back to reality as both panted, “Never let me go again, Dean.” 

“Never, baby, it’s you and me against the world.”

[waywardnerd67]

Fireworks

Title: Fireworks Summary: When (Y/N)’s BFF invites her to a 4th of July party she would never imagine meeting the man of her dreams… literally. Main Characters: Glen Powell, Reader Pairing: Glen Powell x Reader Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: Fluffy/RPF Word Count: 5376 A/N: Jumping back into the saddle so please forgive all the rough edges.

“Honey, I’m home!”

(Y/N) looked up to see her best friend walking through her front door, “Addison! Why didn’t you tell me you were in town?”

She hugged her hard, missing her BFF more than she realized. A year ago, Addison got the opportunity of a lifetime to be the personal assistant to a Hollywood actor. She had been traveling the world, hanging out on movie sets and living her best life. Meanwhile, (Y/N) was still living in their hometown of Austin, Texas working at the same high school, in the same position for nearly a decade.

“I’m sorry, my boss has had me planning this big Fourth of July party and today is the first day I’ve had time to come see you.”

They both sat down on her couch as (Y/N) paused her millionth rewatch of Supernatural, “How are you planning a party here if he lives in L.A.?”

Addison smiled, “He recently moved back to Austin, so it looks like I will be coming back here as well.”

(Y/N) let out a squeal hugging her friend tightly, “Oh my god, that’s amazing! I mean I know you’re gonna be busy but damn will it be good to have you back here.”

For the next few hours they caught up on each other’s lives or lack of one for (Y/N). They ordered dinner and were getting ready to watch one of their favorite rom-coms when Addison’s phone rang.

“Hey boss, what’s up?”

(Y/N) watched her friend’s face light up and suddenly her body was filled with envy. She was incredibly proud of the life her friend created but it was a reminder of how boring of a life she had. She couldn’t even remember the last thing she had been excited for except for maybe the new Twisters movie coming out later in the month.

“You got it. I will confirm everything and send you an email update.” Addison paused listening, “Yes, I will make sure to bring someone with me. See you tomorrow.”

“From the look on your face I would say you love your job.” Addison nodded with a smile, “I really do. He’s great and nothing like the other Hollywood douchebags. He’s just a good ole Texas boy. Kind of reminds me of Jensen and Jared.”

(Y/N) remembered her best friend's time volunteering at Creation Entertainment Supernatural conventions. She eventually was one of the workers who helped walk the actors to and from ops. Several times she had walked with Jared Padalecki or (Y/N)’s favorite actor, Jensen Ackles. That was how she had met them and found out they were truly just as nice and humble as everyone said they were.

“He wants me to bring someone to his party. What do you say?”

“Me?” She stared at Addison, “Don’t you think you should bring someone more interesting or fun?”

Her friend slipped her arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders, “No. There’s no one else I would rather bring than my best friend. Plus, who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone there and hit it off.”

“Yeah. Right.” She scoffed, “The plain Jane school secretary hitting it off with some Hollywood hunk. This is reality and not fanfiction.”

“Please? For me? It would mean the world to me if you came and then I can finally introduce you to my boss.” Addison stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.

(Y/N) narrowed her eyes then smiled, “Fine. Only because I love you.”

“Yay! If you want we can go get you a swimsuit and a new outfit. On me, of course, as a thank you.”

“I’m immediately regretting this decision…” She groaned.

The next day, they spent the day going to lunch and shopping. After one crying session in a dressing room and a slight argument in front of a cashier, (Y/N) arrived back home with three bags worth of stuff. Addison had convinced her to buy a two piece swimsuit. She was always hyper aware of her body even after losing a lot of weight. She was still plus size with killer curves and she was proud of her body. Knowing she was going to be around beautiful actors and models made her notice every little imperfection she had. Staring at the dark green checkered pattern suit made her stomach churn.

“It will be fine, (Y/N). No one is going to notice you anyway.” She murmured to herself.

The morning of July 4th, Addison was at her apartment bright and early, “I’m sorry it’s so early on your day off. My boss wants me at his house early and I figured you wanted to ride over with me.”

(Y/N) yawned, “It’s fine. I have my Monster and should be some form of human like by the time we get there.”

Addison led her out to a brand new Jeep Wrangler that was the same orange as the Longhorns. They threw their stuff in the back and headed off onto highway 290 towards Dripping Springs.

“Please tell me this is his car and not yours.” (Y/N) said as Addison started laughing.

“Yes, it’s his. I still have old faithful who recently hit 200,000 miles and is still purring like a kitten.” Addison turned on her Spotify playlist, “He’s a big Longhorns fan so anything he can get in burnt orange he does.”

One thing (Y/N) loved about living in Austin was the scenery. It had been awhile since she had driven out to Hill Country. The last remaining bluebonnets were holding on strong from a late blooming season mixing with other wildflowers. She couldn’t help to notice they were headed the same direction as Family Business Brewery.

“If we’re going to Family Business and Jensen is going to be there then I need some notice to calm my inner fangirl.”

Addison shook her head, “No, he just lives near there. I know he invited Jensen and Jared’s families but I think they have a convention this weekend.”

(Y/N) let out a sigh of relief then continued to admire the scenery around her while they sang to their favorite songs. Soon they were pulling up to a newly built, gated home. The main house was a subtly modern farmhouse with a big wrap around porch. Addison parked in front of the three car garage behind the house and that’s when (Y/N) saw a beautiful red barn straight out of a western movie.

“Wow…” She said, grabbing her things and following her friend to the pool house.

“Make yourself at home, this is where I stay. It’s easier for me to be close by than to have my own place and worry about subletting it.”

(Y/N) found pictures of her best friend in various cities, countries with celebrities she admired. There were also plenty of pictures of them together throughout their friendship including childhood and being roommates at UT-Austin. She looked at one picture of Addison pulled into a big hug from Glen Powell.

“You’ve met Glen Powell and didn’t tell me!” (Y/N) smacked her BFF’s shoulder, “How dare you.”

Addison laughed, “He’s a sweetheart.”

“Talk about good ole Texas boy… by god not that I need another bow legged Texan to love, but whew!” (Y/N) fanned herself.

“Come on, help me organize the food and everything before my boss gets home.”

There were tables set up in the massive backyard with a food buffet large enough to feed an army. (Y/N) found herself enjoying helping Addison get everything ready. She was helping the DJ get set up in the barn when Addison called out to her.

“Hey, my boss is here. I’m going to the main house to help him with something then I’ll be back.”

“Got it boss lady!” (Y/N) laughed as her friend rolled her eyes.

She was putting the last touches of the Firecracker themed tables together when a low, raspy voice came from behind her.

“Nicely done. You must be Addison’s best friend.”

She turned around and froze, “Holy shit, you’re Glen Powell.”

He laughed holding out his hand to her, “Yes, but not the OG Glen. He’s in the house right now. You’re (Y/N), right? Addison talks about you all the time.”

She slipped her hand into his then flinched from the electric current running up her arm. From his wide green eyes, she assumed he felt it too.

“Uh, y-yeah that’s me. Um…” She swallowed hard, “Sorry, my inner fangirl is having a mild heart attack right now.”

His deep, rich laugh blanketed her body in warmth, “Well hopefully your inner fangirl won’t pass out. Calling 911 is not on my list today.”

“I promise, she’ll be fine. Still getting used to my BFF hanging out with celebrities, especially ones that I love.”

The bright smile on his face nearly melted her heart, “Awe, so you love me?”

“Uh… yes, I mean… yes I love your movies and you seem like a really great person.” (Y/N) mentally kicked herself.

Shut up. Stop talking you weirdo.

“Thanks, I try to be a good guy. Main reason why I moved back to Austin. Stay grounded in my home roots. Anyway, I’m looking forward to getting to know you. I better get back to the main house and see what kind of chaos my family is causing for Addison.”

“Oh, okay. Talk to you later.” (Y/N) watched as he walked out of the barn then finally let out a shaky breath.

She immediately went in search of her best friend, finding her near the buffet. She smacked her shoulder several times as Addison tried to defend herself with tongs.

“What the hell (Y/N)!”

“Why didn’t you tell me that Glen Powell was your boss?! A little warning would have been nice so I could prepare myself.”

Addison chuckled, “Damn, I missed you meeting him. I was hoping to see your face.”

She smacked her shoulder again, “Not funny. It was like the first time I met Jensen and my brain short circuited.”

Now Addison was nearly falling down laughing, “Did you word vomit all over him?”

“No! Though I did mention my inner fangirl having a heart attack. Also, the first thing out of my mouth was ‘Holy shit, you’re Glen Powell.”

“Oh my god!” Her friend was rolling in laughter, “God, I wish I had been there for that.”

“That’s it, I’m leaving. I’ve already embarrassed myself and who knows who else will be here for me to embarrass myself in front of.”

(Y/N) started to head towards the front of the house when Addison reached out grabbing her arm.

“Wait, wait. I’m sorry, I should have warned you. Glen only invited a few actors that live around here over. Honestly, I think Zac Levi is the only one confirmed to be coming. Other than that, it’s mostly Glen’s family and friends.”

“Zac Levi?” She stared at her, “Zachary fucking Levi… oh god, I’m out. Me and my inner fangirl cannot handle this.”

Addison ran in front of her, grabbing a hold of her shoulders, “(Y/N), they are just humans like you and me.”

“Humans that are sculpted out of marble by the good lord himself with a good heaping pile of sex god appeal. Not like me. They’re main character energy and I’m one of the background people no one sees.”

“(Y/N) stop. Trust me, stay and hang out with me. Glen said once everything was set up that I was off the rest of the night. That means, it’s you and me hanging out by the pool, eating our weight in BBQ and watching fireworks. With some particularly good eye candy around.”

Addison was looking at her with pleading eyes, “Please stay and find out for yourself that they are normal dudes. Just like when we hung out with Jared and Jensen.”

(Y/N) sighed, “Only because I love you more than life itself and I have no way of getting home.”

Addison pulled her into a hug, “Thank you.”

“Group hug? I want to join!” Before (Y/N) could look up, she was sandwiched between her best friend and a firm body behind her. Instantly she was enveloped in a woodsy smell with a hint of citrus. Glen squeezed them together making both girls laugh.

“Can’t… breathe… Powell.” Addison managed to squeak out as he let go of them.

“Sorry, just wanted to be a part of your little moment.” He joked.

(Y/N) turned around sucking in a breath and trying to keep her jaw from slacking. Standing before her was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Which said a lot since up until that point it had been Jensen Ackles who was the most beautiful man in her mind. Glen was wearing a pair of swim trunks with firecrackers all over them that hung low on his hips. His golden skin was glowing beneath the Texas sun and on top of his golden hair was an American flag cowboy hat.

“Ladies, I believe everything is set up and our first wave of guests have arrived. That means, Addison, you are officially off the clock and my last request is for you both to have a great time tonight.”

They looked at one another then saluted Glen saying together, “Yes sir.”

His laughter filled the air, “Your salutes need some work but we can work on that later. Now, go! Get drunk, eat and have fun.”

Addison hooked her arm with (Y/N)’s and they headed back towards the pool. For the first couple of hours, (Y/N) laid out on one of the chairs by the pool. One of the only things she loved about parties was people watching. There was no shortage of people to watch here. Glen’s family was an absolute joy to meet. Currently, his dad was in the pool playing with his grandkids while his mom was sitting on the edge hanging her feet into the water.

(Y/N) watched as Zac Levi walked through the main house with a cooler and a few of his friends. She was surprised to see him pull Addison into a hug then kiss her cheek. She made a mental note to ask her what was up with that later. Sipping on her beer, she watched as a group of guys including Glen and Zac started a game of football. Addison was talking with Glen’s sisters when suddenly there was a shout.

“Watch out!”

Before (Y/N) could look up, she was hit with something hard in her chest. She let out a loud grunt and her beer dumped down the front of her.

“Shit! (Y/N) are you alright?” Glen asked as he and Addison ran up to her.

She groaned, “Fine, just covered in beer.”

“I can show you where you clean up.” Glen said, taking the football that had hit her and tossing it to his brother-in-law.

He held out his hand to her and helped her up from her seat. She looked back at Addison who was smiling like the Cheshire cat. She narrowed her eyes at her friend suddenly smelling a set up and beer… lots of beer.

Glen led her into the main house and up the stairs. They walked into the largest bedroom she had ever seen and immediately knew this had to be his room.

“You can use my bathroom to wash up and I’ll get you some clothes to wear.”

She chuckled, “Um, I’m pretty sure your clothes won’t fit me.”

He arched an eyebrow at her, “I’m sure I can find something or if you prefer to walk around in a towel only then that’s cool too.”

“No! Oh god, no.” She sighed, “Thank you. I appreciate anything you can find for me.”

“You’re welcome.” He walked into his large closet while she went into his master bathroom and shut the door.

Leaning against it, she took a moment to calm her frantic nerves. A week ago, she was home rewatching Top Gun: Maverick and now she was standing in Glen Powell’s bathroom. Quickly, she stripped out of her soiled clothes and swimsuit. She turned on the water of the massive shower and let the hot water beat down on her tense muscles. She heard the door opening and immediately tried to cover herself.

“There’s clothes on my bed for you.”

(Y/N) noticed he had his hand covering his eyes even though he couldn’t see her from where the door was. Her heart skipped from the small gesture.

“T-Thank you. I’ll be back out in a few minutes.”

“Take your time.” He closed the door.

(Y/N) noticed his shampoo was the citrus she had smelled earlier while his body wash was the woods smell. She decided that combination was her new favorite smell. Once she was out of the shower and wrapped in one of his towels she walked out to find his door closed. On the bed was an extra large Longhorns t-shirt and gym shorts. There was also a pair of black Calvin Klein boxer-briefs which she was thankful for. However, not having a bra to wear was going to be difficult.

She stepped into his closet and chuckled from all the burnt orange shirts. She found one of his tank tops and slipped it on. She rolled the bottom up beneath her breasts and tied it off with her ponytail. The girls would at least be secured but one good cool wind and her nipples would be on display.

“Maybe it’s time to step up to whiskey.” She muttered as she slipped on the rest of Glen’s clothes.

Opening the door, she found a muscular, tan back standing there like a bodyguard, “Sorry, I just didn’t want anyone walking in here on you. My family is not big on boundaries nor are my niece and nephew.”

She chuckled, “Thanks for keeping watch and for the clothes.”

He turned around and she watched as his eyes traveled the length of her body. Goosebumps spread across her flushed skin. When his eyes came back up to hers they were darker and filled with something that she refused to let herself believe was there.

“Have to say, those look way better on you than on me.”

(Y/N)’s default mode clicked on whenever she received compliments, “I highly doubt that, but thanks. They’re at least more comfortable than my swimsuit. By the way, do you have somewhere I could wash my clothes out?”

“Yeah, give them to me and I’ll put them in the washer. You can head back out to enjoy the party.” She handed him her suit and clothes, “Man, I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you in this. I bet it looked great on you.”

He headed down the stairs leaving (Y/N) speechless. Was Glen Powell flirting with her? No way. She was delusional from the alcohol and sun. She headed back outside where she found Addison swimming in the pool with Zac. Seeing them together, she knew she didn’t need to ask if they were together. It was obvious by the way they looked at one another that they were. Once again, (Y/N)’s green eyed monster raged inside of her. Deciding she needed some more time alone, she headed out towards the barn then kept walking to the field behind it.

She was watching a team of guys setting up fireworks for the big display later that night. She could still hear everyone laughing and having fun behind her, suddenly she felt tears falling down her cheeks. She loved her best friend, but it was obvious she didn’t fit into her life anymore. She was hanging out and dating celebrities and traveling the world.

What was she doing? Still working the same job and never allowing anyone to get close to her. She gave up on dating after her one and only boyfriend had cheated on her. Did she want someone in her life? The family and white picket fence? Of course, but the closer to forty she was getting the further away that dream seemed to be getting. Seeing how happy Addison was and how wonderful her life was a harsh reminder of how meaningless her own life was.

“You okay?”

Turning around, she found Glen walking up now wearing a navy tank top and his dark Ray Bans covering his eyes. She quickly wiped away the wayward tears.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just needed a moment.”

He leaned his forearms against the fence, looking out over the field, “I see you found my ‘I need a moment’ spot. I love coming out here and just being. I don’t have to be actor Glen, but just me.”

“I bet that is exhausting.” He nodded as she looked at him from the corner of her eyes, “On behalf of fans everywhere, I appreciate all the hard work you put into your characters. I can’t tell you the number of nights I have watched one of your rom-coms laughing and making my day better.”

He looked down at her with a smile, “Thanks, that means a hell of a lot to me.”

“However, I have to say, I wish they would pair you up with a woman your age. Seeing you make out with a woman ten years younger gives girls like me a complex.” She chuckled.

“How so?” He asked, turning towards her.

She sighed, “You never see a leading woman that is both older and doesn’t have a model’s body. The average size of a woman is 14/16 which is plus size and if I had to guess I bet the majority of rom-com audience is like me. A woman in her late thirties, plus size, single and looking for hope that men like Glen Powell would be interested in her.”

“You don’t think guys like me would be with a woman like you?”

His question was genuine, but made her scoff, “In the movies they aren’t. Why would I believe that in real life? Probably why I’ve been single for over a decade now. It’s easier to fantasize over fictional men or celebrities than putting myself out there to get humiliated.”

He stepped closer to her, his fingers brushing against her cheek and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. He pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head and his glossy eyes were staring down into hers. She had dreamt of him looking at her in this very way a million times. The way he looked at every leading lady in one of his rom-coms.

“What if I told you that I do find you attractive? That I find you incredibly sexy.”

“I’d say that you’re a great actor.” She tried to look away, but he gently grabbed her chin making her look at him.

“I’m not acting. The moment Addison showed me a picture of the two of you, I thought you were the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen. The way she gushes about you and all the work you do for your students. The difference you’re making in their lives. I couldn’t imagine anything more sexy than a woman who loves to help those who need it.”

(Y/N) stepped away from him, “It’s really nothing special. Yes, I’m there for them and help them in any way I can, but so do a lot of staff. Honestly, there’s nothing special about me. I’m definitely not gorgeous. I mean, you’re around beautiful actresses and models all the time. They’re gorgeous, me not so much.”

“Addison warned me that you usually put yourself down when you receive compliments.” He took a step towards her engaging in an awkward dance as she stepped backwards.

“Warned you? So, this was a set up?” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, “Did she really think you were going to magically fall in love with me and sweep me off my feet. Which by the way, you couldn’t, not literally anyway.”

“I asked her to introduce us. Yes, I found you attractive and after hearing Addison talk about you non-stop in Oklahoma, I wanted to meet you. Addison is not only my assistant but a dear friend and if you’re important to her then you’re important to me as well.”

He closed the distance between them pressing her back against the fence and caging her in with his strong arms on either side of her. He leaned in towards her and she sucked in a breath, holding it in her chest.

“I wasn’t hoping to fall in love or sweep you off your feet. Which I could totally do.” He smirked, “I was hoping to meet the amazing woman Addison loves so much and who happens to be fucking gorgeous.”

“Glen, I…” She let out a trembling breath, “I'm nobody and I don’t do one night stands. Even if it’s with a sexy movie star that I’m sure would give me the orgasm of my life. It’s not me and I don’t see you wanting to settle down with a high school secretary.”

He leaned closer to her. His nose brushing alongside hers and his lips merely an inch from hers. She wanted to look away, but his eyes were mesmerizing.

“Won’t know unless you give me a chance.”

His lips pressed against hers. They were soft and tasted of tequila as he pulled her bottom lips between his teeth. Suddenly, her body felt like it was on fire and she wanted more. Needed more. His large hands fell to her hips and pulled her tighter against him. (Y/N) wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her hands into his soft hair. His sunglasses falling from his head was enough to knock her senses back into place. She pressed her hands against his chest, pushing him gently away.

“We… I… this can’t happen. It’s not happening.” She stammered.

(Y/N) took off back towards the barn as Glen called after her, “(Y/N)! (Y/N), please wait!”

She didn’t stop until she was in the pool house and in Addison’s room with the door shut. Tears immediately sprung to her eyes and she sank to the floor beside her bed. What the hell was she doing? Glen Powell had kissed her. Told her she was gorgeous and yet she was sitting on the floor crying. Why couldn’t she be more impulsive and have one night with a man who was way out of her league? Looking at her reflection in the glass from the sliding door, she sighed.

“Because you catch feelings, (Y/N).” She whispered.

“(Y/N)?” Addison’s voice came through the door, “You alright?”

She opened the door, “Seriously, Glen Powell?”

“Let me explain.”

“Addison, what did you think was going to happen? You couldn’t actually believe this was going to work in any sort of way.”

They sat down on her bed, “I talk about you non-stop with him. I’ve told him all your stories from school with your kiddos. I’ve told him how I’m worried about you being alone all the time and how I wish you could meet a nice guy like him. How proud I am of all you’ve done for your health and how you love your body for what it is.”

(Y/N) placed her head in her hands, “And what, he was like ‘oh I want to meet this chick’?”

“Not his exact words, but yes. When he started planning this party, he asked if there was anyone I would like to invite. I told him Zac and his friends…” She paused looking at her bashfully, “Yeah, I’m kind of seeing Zac Levi.”

“No shit, Sherlock. I could tell that from the lovey-dovey looks you give one another. After my breakdown you can spill all about how that happened.”

Addison nodded, “Anyway, Glen asked if I wanted to invite you. I told him that you’re pretty introverted and didn’t like going to parties. He dropped it, but then when he was having me finalize the list of people I noticed he had added your name at the end of the list. When I asked him about it, all he said was he wanted to meet the amazing best friend I kept talking about.”

“So, you decided to turn it into a set up? Knowing full and well I would never fall for it.”

Her friend turned towards her, “It was never a set up. I warned him how you are. I asked him directly what he was up to. He told me that he found you attractive and wanted to get to know you.” She grabbed her hands, “Honestly (Y/N), I think he’s just a dude who is nervous to ask out a beautiful girl. It’s hard for him to meet anyone who doesn’t see him as only a famous actor and I really think he wants this part of his life to be as normal as possible.”

(Y/N) groaned, “You know this sounds like a fanfic I would read on Tumblr, right?”

Addison laughed, “Oh I’m well aware. However, doesn’t it make you want to see what happens? Usually, the next part would be you going to find him and you two would have a moment of tension that snaps. Then wham, bam, smutty dreams fulfilled.”

“I think I’m going to throw up.” (Y/N) took a couple deep breaths.

“That is not usually in the fanfics. Take the time you need, but please come back out and hang out with us. If anything, I’ll introduce you to Zac and you can fangirl over him.”

“I love you, but get out. I can’t even with you right now.” (Y/N) laughed as Addison hugged her.

Once she was alone again, (Y/N) went into the bathroom to splash cool water on her face. Looking into the mirror, she gave herself a once over. She walked out into the bedroom letting out a surprise yelp when she found Glen sitting on the bed.

“Scared the crap out of me.” She held her chest.

His eyes were focused on the floor, “Sorry. Addison said you were in here.” He stretched his long fingers out over his thighs before looking up at her.

“I wanted to apologize for coming onto you so strong and kissing you. I should have been more of a gentleman about it, not that I regret kissing you because I don’t.”

She sat down next to him, “I don’t either and you don’t need to apologize. It was nice to know I remembered how to kiss a man.”

He chuckled finally looking over at her, “It’s like I’m living out a meet-cute rom-com without a script and it’s terrifying. There’s a fine line between endearing and creepy. I feel like I’m crossing the line into creepy.”

(Y/N)’s hand was trembling but she placed it over his, “You’re not creepy. Addison told me about how you wanted to get to know me. I think it’s been so long since a man has shown any interest in me that I don’t know how to react to it. Let alone that man being someone I have fantasized about being the Leading Man in my own life.”

“Is there any way we could start over? You being you and me being just a normal dude wanting to ask you out?” He laced their fingers together, “Or at least ask you to watch fireworks with me?”

(Y/N) smiled, “I would love to watch fireworks with you… what was your name again?”

His breathtaking smile appeared as he stood up in front of her, “Hi, I’m Glen and you?”

She took his outstretched hand, standing up, “(Y/N), it’s nice to meet you totally normal dude who is definitely not a famous sexy actor.”

He laughed pulling her into his side slipping his arm around her shoulders, “That’s me. Normal dude who is thankful to have a chance to be in the presence of a beautiful woman.”

“Oh jeez, please stop with the compliments. They make me uncomfortable.” She sighed, sliding her arm around his waist.

-----

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[k-slla]

Fate, Or Something Like It | part 1

Little bit of a crossover between The Boys & Suits

A/N: So this is the last square filled on my first card for @jacklesversebingo ! Honestly didn't think I'd get to this, but look at that! 😄

Square filled: "You made me get out of my pajamas for this?"

Also using the chance to post it as my first entry to @artyandink's JENSEN-A-THON.:) (I was said there is no max word count😅)

Based on THIS request that an anon sent me and it will be a 2 part story :)

Word count: ~12.9k | My Masterlist

Both parts will have separate warning, in this one you will find: Slightly OOC Ben, naive reader, physical assault, choking, language, angst, mentions and descriptions of torture, use of drugs and alcohol, mentions of past traumas, partial frontal nudity, size kink(if you squint), brief Fem masturbation -I hope I didn't miss any:)

Special thanks to @nescaveckwriter - for your help and inspiration torture through all those gifs you hyped me up with! 😈Love you, Nes!

ENJOY!

If anyone would’ve asked you right now ‘Are you happy?’ you could've easily answered them with a simple ‘yes’. Saying you were a workaholic, would've been definitely an understatement, but it was a good thing that anything else in your personal life didn't require that much attention, so you happily took on as much work as possible. At least it kept you busy. 

You were working at Pearson Hardman, one of the top law firms in New York. With a professional long-time dream of becoming a senior partner in the firm, you were glad to see that your efforts were slowly paying off. Only one obstacle stood in your way - Harvey Specter. Harvey was a good attorney, you had to admit that. Probably one of the best New York has ever seen, but you hoped to have a chance to prove that you were better. 

You didn't hide your ambition of becoming a partner from anyone and Jessica saw how hard you worked to deserve that spot amongst them. The other partners saw that. And you knew that even Harvey saw how much you were ready to sacrifice for the job. You practically lived in your office. And if that was what it took to reach your goal then sleeping in your bed and having a personal life were small things to give up on. But Harvey shared that mentality, and you were well aware of that. 

Both of you had been competing with each other ever since you met in Harvard, so it wasn't exactly a surprise that this position was basically up between you two, too. But a friendly competition hurt no one, if anything, it gave you the drive to work even harder than before. And you loved it. So yes, you could've said you were happy with your life, because then you just didn’t know yet what, or rather who was missing from it. Until you ran into the man, who'd then turn your life upside down just in a week. 

There he was waiting in front of your work place one evening. You had to admit, he was hard to miss in his green super soldier outfit, but you walked right past him, which just seemed to offend him, judging by the sudden shift of his attitude. Of course you knew who he was, how the women threw themselves at him. All the ladies’ favorite Soldier Boy. You could’ve bet he expected the same kind of reaction from you he had already gotten used to. 

But you didn't fall for his look. You didn't have strength to react to him in any way, so you continued on your way, trying to get home to sleep. Out of nowhere someone yanked you backwards towards the alleyway. A quick ‘hey’ was all you managed to say, before you saw that it was in fact Soldier Boy who had attacked you. 

There was no one around at the moment so just screaming for help wouldn't have worked. Not that it would've even with people around you. He was huge and could easily take on anyone in a fight, but you still tried to get yourself away from him. “No! Let me go!” you grunted. Having a hard time keeping up with his long strides, you were around the building already as he dragged you after him into the alley, pushing you then roughly against the wall. “What do you want from me?” you gritted through the teeth as he held you against the wall, trying your hardest to get yourself free from him.

“Nothing much, doll. Just a little…payback.” He whispered, coming in closer to your face, his low voice vibrating in your ear. With a grin, his hand slowly rose from your chest up to your neck, cutting off the air from you. You fought hard trying to pry his hand away from your neck, but he only tightened his grip. 

“I…haven't…done anything…to you.” You said with a strained voice. You could already feel his hurt, anger and hate, it was just radiating from him. You tried to get through to him, to try to ease him from all that, help him, but all you got was what he's been through for those close to 40 years that he was considered dead. Seeing what he went through, you knew that's what he probably wished for as well. 

You were also a supe, but one of those unimportant ones, who besides The Seven didn't really exist to the rest of the society. Luckily you weren't shooting lasers from your eyes, so it was easy for you to hide your power from others. You were a healer. Kind of. 

You could feel what the person had been through, by physical contact. That's how it usually was. It came to you as a sense of negative emotion they had, caused by their experienced distress and trauma, and you “healed” them - erased the pain etched to the memory. But sometimes, when those memories were stronger, they ran in your head like movies. Sometimes, they even caused you physical pain. 

“Don't fucking lie to me! You were there! I saw you.” You already started to get light headed, but gathering your last strength, you managed to kick him. No surprise - it had no effect on him, but it still made him lighten his grip around your neck slightly. 

You could feel everything he was put through. The torture. The betrayal. And all the hurt that had remained. It was too much for one person to go through, even for a supe like him. 

The images of his memories in Russia started to flash before your eyes. Pictures of him restrained- being shot at, burned, poisoned, electrocuted. All that pain over and over again. 

You saw all of it through his eyes. You felt everything he was put through. He may be hard to kill, probably impossible even, but he still felt all that pain and torture. It all must've left some mark on his psyche. 

Hot tears started prickling in your eyes. What you weren't sure of was the reason why. Were they just your body's natural response to him choking you or did you feel sorry for him? First option sounded like a reasonable choice, but you knew your heart was leaning towards the other end. Your naivety got you believing that even someone like Soldier Boy didn't deserve that.

“I wasn't there. I heard what they did, but I wasn't there!” You couldn't tell him about your power, what you had just seen, he'd never believe you and would probably kill you right then and there. 

But Ben on the other hand was sure he wasn't imagining things. He might have downed a bottle of pills and a whiskey before coming for you, but his mind was clear. As much as it could've been. He didn't get much influenced by drugs or alcohol before, but after Russia something had changed. He had no idea what they'd exactly done to him, but he started to get occasional blackouts from drugs and those fucking obnoxious Russian tracks that started ringing in his ears every time someone pissed him off. Even now he was a little bit out of it. 

He knew what he saw when the Reds had him held up. He thought so at least. Every day, or night even, when they experimented on him, tried to kill him, or whatever the fuck they were doing, there was a woman. Spitting image of the one in front of him. The one that he was most eager to find. 

She took away his will. His will to fight back. She took away his will to break free from his restraints and to rip the heads off them one by one, leaving as his only option to wait for his love to come to save him, not knowing she was part of the team who had betrayed him. She had left him to rot in the hopelessness of his own mind. 

But focusing on the woman standing in front of him, Ben's mind was getting a little foggy. Fuck...was it even her? She's not using her power. She's scared, polar opposite to the woman he saw in the lab - cold as ice, lifeless. For a moment he thought that his mind had just started to fill the blanks. She’s…different. She's not even trying to control me. Am I just high? 

Ben was getting truly hesitant of trusting himself. He almost wanted to let her go, when he realized it was just some trick on him. It had to be. She is playing with me. Like she did there.

“I saw you! You were there, every goddamn day when they tortured me! Playing your fucking mind games with me.” He wasn't giving up. He had a list. He had almost forty years to think of each one of them who betrayed him, how to make them pay. Of course he started with Countess. She sure was surprised to see him alive. And finally when he had found you, he now had second thoughts. 

“No...I.. wasn't! I...please...” Your words were slowly dying on your lips. If it weren't for the group of teenagers walking by, Ben would've most certainly killed you. He threw a sideways glance at them. As tempting as it might've been, he knew better than to kill with witnesses around. Not to mention kids. He still had some reputation to maintain. Not that he really cared about that. But he knew he'd have another chance with you. He'll make sure of it. Ben let go of you and you fell straight to the ground. Without missing a beat, you grabbed your bag that you had dropped and ran from him, not daring to look back. “The fuck you're staring at?” You heard him shout behind you, aiming it towards the teens who had begun staring at you two.

When you finally got home - much, much later than you had expected - you had no energy left to cook or clean. All you wanted was a relaxing shower and a decent amount of sleep for a change. Mindlessly you sat under the hot stream of water on the bathroom floor and the events of tonight really got to you. 

He was ready to kill you tonight and still you were sympathetic for him. While studying the pattern of the floor tiles for a long time, you got more certain with each passing minute that there must be something wrong with you, because there was just no other reason for you to feel sorry for him. You were so stuck in tonight's events, you didn't even notice the water starting to run colder, until the sudden icy water falling onto your shoulders brought you back. Trying not to slip, you scrambled out of the shower as quickly you could. 

You couldn't sleep that night. Not as much as you had hoped at least. You couldn't stop thinking about his words that were still echoing in your head. 

“You were there, every goddamn day when they tortured me!” 

It was almost four decades ago. You weren't even alive then. He must've been just hallucinating there. There couldn’t be any other explanation. Wouldn't be a surprise exactly, too, if you thought more about it, considering what he went through. 

Finally, very early in the morning, you managed to fall asleep. But in all those barely three hours of sleep that you got, you had one sight in mind. Green eyes. His eyes. Full of hate and anger towards the world around him, and trying to hide the pain eating him up from the inside. You knew it was probably not his plan to let it show, but he just didn't know who you really are. 

For the remaining two work days you had left before the weekend, as hard as it was, you were fortunately able to push the incident with him from your mind and focus fully on work. 

And on Friday night, another asshole, a lot friendlier than Soldier Boy, but still a kind of jerk, flew in to ruin your night, again, in the form of Billy Butcher.

“Hey there, sweetheart.” 

Your friendship with Billy was, to put it mildly...odd. He only called you to ask “favors” regarding your power, every now and then, and while you had no reason to give in to him, you just couldn't bring yourself to say no. But considering how the last few times have gone, this time he called to probably claim your soul. 

“What do you want?” Just a call from him had already put a dent into your peaceful evening, so you were in no mood for him beating around the bush. 

“What? No hello?” He laughed, but not getting a reaction from you, he continued. “Straight to the business then. Can a..uh.. let's just call him a friend of mine..can he stay with you for a week?” There was silence on the line for a second. “Or possibly two?” Billy added under his breath.

“What! No!” You couldn’t get your rejection at his plan out any faster. “Not after last time!” 

“Hey! Don't blame me for that. I didn't know they would…nevermind..” he muttered. “I just really need someone to keep an eye on Ben. He's.. He's been through some stuff and has a bit of a “shell shock” as one might say.” 

You heard a little shuffling on the other side and a faint grumpy voice. “I don't have shell shock. Fuck you!” 

“I'm not letting anyone in my apartment again.” You stood your ground. 

“Sweetheart, I'm begging you! Really am! Just this one time.” You sensed from his voice he was getting a bit desperate. 

“Is she bitching?” You heard that same low voice as before. 

“You can tell your friend that I heard that and I do not appreciate it! My answer is no!"

“Ben, shut it. Please, I need someone I trust to look after him. He needs help and I know you, you really are the only one who can help him.” Billy said quietly into the phone. 

“No. I have work and I don't want anyone in my home when I'm not there.” 

“Fair! How about this then...”    

You had no idea how he managed to convince you to move into their headquarters or apartment or whatever they chose to call it. Not a fucking clue. But here you were with your suitcase, ready to move in for an indefinite time. All this had only one upside for you - shorter commute to work. 

Standing outside, you called through the intercom, and waited for Butcher to answer. Probably knowing it was you downstairs, he opened the door immediately. You really felt luck being against you lately, so it came to you as no surprise that the elevator, too, was out of order. With a heavy sigh, you braced yourself for the stupid amount of stairs ahead. 

When you made it to their door, you were absolutely out of breath. Why couldn't I have flying as my power? That would have come handy right now. No, no, no...I am a healer. Unfair. 

You knocked on the door, still trying to calm your breathing. After a moment, Butcher finally opened it. “Hello, luv! You made it!” You wanted to beat this shit-eating grin off his face. Too bad he was stronger than you. “We were about to start betting on how long it would take for you to get up here.” 

“That piece of shit elevator is out of order again.” You grunted, pulling your suitcase into the room after you. 

Setting it down in the living room, you looked around in the apartment. You saw only Butcher and Hughie around. “So? Where's that friend of yours?” The grin on Billy's face grew wider. 

“I swear to God, if that was just some joke that you two tried to play on me..” you were still out of breath, but tried to sound threatening, although, there wasn’t much you could do to him. Maybe to Hughie, yes, if he was in on the joke, but not to Butcher. 

“No, not a joke. He's real and I bet you'll get along nicely.” It seemed as if Ben had heard you, and sauntered cockily out of his room. “So, where's the new roomie...?” His smug grin only widened when he saw your dumbfounded face. You defensively took a step back. “No, Billy, hell no!” 

Butcher stepped protectively in front of you. “Relax, he's not gonna bite.” 

“Not gonna bite?! He tried to kill me less than three days ago.” You hissed as an answer, glaring at Ben, as you learnt was his name, over Billy's shoulder. 

“And now he'll promise to behave, right, Ben?” Ben rolled his eyes at you and walked into the kitchen. “Whatever.” 

You stared after him. “Why can't someone else babysit him?” 

“We have some work coming up. Listen. I know what happened between you two. He told me and right after I explained to him that there was no possible way for you to have been in Russia all this time ago. But, Y/N, you're the only one who can help me. Please.” It was really out of his character to see him beg for something. 

You stood in silence for a minute. You spineless piece of… You cursed yourself in your head. “Where’s my room?"

Waking up next morning you were glad that it was Saturday. You had the whole weekend to assess this…situation. You were the first one up and started making breakfast for everyone. Butcher was still snoring on the couch in the living room, as Hughie probably claimed the last free room to himself. You have always been more of a ‘forgive and forget’ type of person. Always seeing the best in people. Even if it took time to let go, you never were one to hold a grudge. It would have been totally understandable for you to walk out this time, too, but all you wanted was just to try to let go of what had happened with Ben a few days ago, so you tried to be nice.

You knew you two wouldn't be friends, not like with Hughie or Butcher, not that you were very close to them either, but you hoped that you could at least be civil around each other for the few weeks now that you had agreed to live with him.

In the middle of frying up some bacon, you heard a bedroom door opening, so it was either Hughie or Ben. A second later, from the corner of your eye, you saw a figure appear on the kitchen door. 

“That's what I like to see - a woman in the kitchen, right where she belongs.” Definitely not Hughie. You were about to shoot back some snarky comment, when you finally took a look at him. “Shit...” You mumbled quietly. 

Leaning on the doorway, Ben was wearing only some green floral silk robe that hung open on his shoulders. Nothing underneath it. The unexpectedness of seeing his cock the first thing in the morning hit you hard. Your mind went blank and against your will, you had to admit that you were quite literally hypnotized by him. 

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” A low chuckle rang in the distance, bringing you out of your short daydream. You blinked at him and blushed hard, realizing you had been just standing there, staring at him. Talk about morning wood. After letting out a long exhale, your focus was now fully back on bacon. “P-please put on s-some clothes?” 

He slowly walked towards you, not closing the robe. Heat started to climb up your cheeks when he stopped next to you. “You do like the view.” Ben said smugly and snatched a piece of bacon from the plate. Not even a question this time. He knew the effect he had on you. You couldn't even deny it to yourself. 

“Stop harassing the poor woman and put on some clothes.” Billy grumbled from the couch. 

“You're no fun.” Ben said to Billy before stepping in even closer to you, seizing the last of the personal space you had left and whispering. “But soon we'll be all alone and I'll tell you, sweetheart, you'll fuckin’ beg for it.” He winked and you just stared at him, mouth slightly agape. 

“Bacon's a bit burned, by the way.” Ben grinned and finally covered himself before turning around and leaving the kitchen. 

Rest of the day went luckily quietly, with you staying mostly hidden in your own room. Kimiko, Frenchie and MM came around noon, to talk through the last minute changes on the plan for their new job. 

“So, please don't kill each other. Or I mean, Ben, don’t kill her.” Hughie smiled at you and Ben, before walking out of the door, making you roll your eyes at his back. 

“And don't tear the place down, if you decide to...you know…get acquainted better. Which you probably will.” Billy said with a smirk. “If you do, you fix it up. Got it?” He continued sternly. 

“Got it.” Quick slap from Ben landed on your ass, making a shrill yelp escape from you. 

“Hey! We're not - I - he won't..!” Your brain short-circuited again, for the second time today, because of Ben. Butcher winked knowingly and then turned around to leave. “See ya!” With a wave, he was out the door.

You were now left alone with Ben, who scoffed beside you. “What's your problem?” 

“Don't even get me started.” You mumbled quietly and walked past him into the kitchen.

“I heard that!” He called after you. 

“Good!” You looked back at the doorway, and saw Ben stomping towards you. You rolled your eyes and started to make some coffee. 

“No, seriously. What's your problem?” He crossed his arms. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Do you really want to know?” 

“That's why I asked.” 

You fully turned towards him and leaned on the kitchen island with one hip. “My problem is that three days ago you tried to kill me, without any explanation, you haven't even apologized and now you're acting like nothing's happened, and I'm stuck here with you because of my inability to say no. So there you go.”

“Actually, I had an explanation.” He said absentmindedly, before stepping in front of you, squinting his eyes and pointing his finger at you. “And, no, that's not your problem, but I know what it really is.” He said slowly.

You waved your arms in front of you, his cockiness started to slowly infuriate you. “Please, enlighten me.”

Ben bit his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows with a little nod. “You haven't been properly fucked for a while.” He said boldly, making you fume on the inside. “Yeah. That's it. I can see all that...frustration in you, sweetheart.” He was now grinning ear to ear, flashing his bright smile. “More than happy to help you out.” He added with a simple shrug. “You're a tad bit young for me, but I can look past it. I tend to go to women with a bit more experience.” He left you completely speechless and the grin on his face grew wider with each second you sputtered in front of him, blinking rapidly as you tried to figure out something to say.

“Ew, just stop it, okay!” You blurted out finally. “Can we just try to be normal around each other for one day, without you making some lewd suggestions about my personal life?”

Ben's eyes twinkled mischievously. “Okay.” He shrugged and then raised his finger. “I'll give you one day.” And with that he walked out of the kitchen and left you there standing, cursing the choice of words you had made.

“Fuck me..” You muttered, realizing that now Ben will probably start riling you up even more.

“What was that?” He appeared again on the kitchen door with a wicked smile on his lips, clearly hoping he had heard you correctly. You had to admit - Ben was hellishly handsome, too handsome for his own good and of course he knew that. You couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped from your lips, seeing that little playful glint in his eyes.

“Nothing!” You called out quickly, face turning red.

Note to self - be careful when speaking to yourself. Man has super hearing.

You had to be grateful that at least Ben did keep his promise and kept to his own on Sunday.

A blood-curdling scream woke you in the middle of the night. You were certain that you had just dreamed it, because when you sat up in bed, it was all silent around you. Until you heard him again.

So this is what Butcher meant by helping him.

It now kind of made sense also, why he called you in the first place. Obviously it wasn't just to keep Ben company. You dragged yourself out of the bed and made your way to his room next to yours.

You could hear the strained screams even through the door. Not bothering with knocking, you pushed it open and entered his bedroom.

Ben was cramped up in his bed, like in a shock. His teeth were bared, grunting almost animalistically, and his breathing was rapid.

You could instantly feel your own breath getting caught in your throat and tears starting to well up in your eyes. “Ben.” You said quietly and sat down next to him on the bed.

Whatever he was experiencing right now must've been some of the most horrible things you could ever imagine.

You put one hand on his chest, trying to gently wake him up. Instead you got more nauseous every second, feeling like a knife was twisted in your guts and every inch of your skin was on fire. You were unable to control the tears streaming down your cheeks. The flashbacks you started to get were horrible. You felt every stab, cut and burn he had gotten. They made you physically want to vomit. Never before have you reacted this strongly to someone. But never before have you met someone who has experienced so much pain like Ben. You tried your hardest to keep the disturbing images from creeping up in your mind.

“Ben, wake up!” You softly stroked his head, grimacing along with him, seeing his beautiful features distorted from pain. You couldn't take it anymore. Placing both of your hands on his face, you turned him towards you. To be able to help him, you had to calm down yourself first. With what Ben went through, this was surely going to be a challenge. You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing and the feeling of his face in your arms. He still hadn't woken up, so you had to get him to calm down in his sleep.

It took a long time. It took so much more from you than it usually did. You could feel your energy drain. Ben was still cramped up, strained groans leaving his lips, but slowly you were able to ease your breathing. Tears were still flowing down your cheeks but your mind was getting clearer with each exhale, until there was nothing left. No pain. No flashbacks. You felt Ben quieting down next to you, his body slowly starting to relax. Your eyes were still closed, when you heard him waking up. You had hoped to be gone already when he would wake, but now it was too late.

“Y/N? What- where am I?” He was drowsy and confused about his surroundings. Seeing him awake, you immediately pulled your hands from his face to dry your eyes, so he wouldn't see you crying.

“It's okay, Ben. You're fine.” He rubbed his hand over his face, visibly more confused now. He turned to look at you, brows knit tightly together. “Wait, what are you doing here? What did you do to me?”

You turned away from him on the edge of the bed. “I didn't do anything. I just heard you scream and came to check on you.”

You knew he didn't believe you. You didn’t even believe yourself what you were saying.

“Don't lie to me. Who are you?” Ben sat up in bed.

“I am not lying, Ben. I didn't do anything.”

You saw that he was quickly getting annoyed, angry even. “I don't wake up from these dreams just like that. I have to…suffer through them.” Ben gritted, glaring at you. “And you are here, crying. Who are you?” He repeated himself and quickly got out of bed, pulling you up with him. “Tell me!”

“Alright, fine! Just so I can go to bed.” You yelled back. You looked down at his hand grabbing your shoulder painfully. “Let go of me, then I'll talk. Thank you.” You added in a slightly softer manner when he let go of your arm, but hesitantly waited for a second before you started talking. “I…am a supe, too, although my powers aren't as good as “The Seven” or whatever, but I am a kind of healer.” You started cautiously, being afraid of his reaction. “Like almost an empathic healer?” You added and took a glance at him. You could see he was not following you at that moment. “It means I can feel and heal people's emotional traumas. Well, I don't “heal” heal, but you know, make them less painful over time.” You were pacing around the room, not knowing what was going through his head. “That's why Butcher even called me in the first place. To come and help you.”

“Why didn't you just tell me that?” He asked, voice quieter than before.

“I don't know.” You shrugged.

Ben sat down on the bed again and you thought he wanted to go back to sleep, so you started to leave the room.

“Wait.” You heard him suddenly ask behind you. He stared after you with a questioning look in his eyes. “Why were you crying?”

You got slightly embarrassed, hoping he hadn't noticed that. “Um...Well, when I say I feel the pain, I actually tend to feel it. It comes to me almost like memories or sometimes flashbacks through the eyes of the person going through it, but..uh..I feel it all that too. Tonight was actually the first time I've cried. It was just too much today.” You stood on the door and kept your eyes down on the floor.

Feeling like you had overshared, you quickly muttered “good night” under your breath, and almost ran out of the room. You heard Ben call something after you, but you didn't stay to hear what he had to say. He didn't follow.

Now it was Monday morning and you were again making breakfast before you had to go to work. After leaving Ben's room last night, you couldn't fall asleep, so you tried to think of a few simple rules to have set up for the time you two were living together. But with Ben being as he is, you were certain he'd not welcome them warmly. So first you needed to bribe him. Just a little.

You had set everything on the table, coffee, bacon and eggs and whatever else you thought he'd like for breakfast. You sucked in a quick breath before you went to wake him up. You knocked on the door and opened it. “Hey, Ben! Wake up!’

He only lifted his head to look at the clock on the bedside table. “No.”

“Yes. We have to talk before I go to work.” You picked up some sweatpants and a t-shirt from the chair by the door and threw them on his bed. “And put some clothes on.”

When he saw that you were not leaving, Ben finally sat up in bed. It took all of your willpower not to let your eyes wander over his body, barely covered by the familiar green silk robe. “Damn it, woman. It's 7 in the morning.” He opened the drawer next to the bed and pulled out a ready rolled joint. You made no effort to hide the disgust on your face as he lit it and took a long drag on it. “Seriously?” You looked between him and the reefer between his fingers.

“What?” He shrugged, clearly it has become a part of his routine.

“It's 7am. That's really the first thing that goes into your mouth in the morning after waking up?”

Ben pulled the blunt from his lips with a smirk and took a long look at you up and down. “I mean, if I'd have you in the bed with me, this definitely wouldn't be the first thing in my mouth.”

You crossed your arms on your chest, hoping to hide the jolt of unexpected arousal that ran through your core.

“Stop that. I made breakfast.” You said sternly as you walked out of his room. “And put the clothes on!” You added over your shoulder.

You sat at the kitchen table with a notebook, writing down some basic rules you'd both have to follow. You hoped that Ben could be reasonable about these few things. It was nothing major. Just to make sure you both agreed on cleaning after yourselves and some compromises over cooking.

After a little while Ben finally joined you in the kitchen. You were focused on reading a news article on your phone, when you heard him opening and closing the cupboards looking for a cup for himself. You looked up at him, and you almost choked on air, but managed to disguise it as a simple cough. Of course Ben wasn't fully dressed. It was clearly too much to ask of him.

His bare back was turned towards you, muscles flexing as he reached for a cup. You didn't want to, but couldn't hold back on checking out the rest of his body, too. More importantly, you were quietly admiring the way his sweatpants hugged his butt. Usually you were not one to thirst over men, but something about Ben felt different. You almost had completely forgotten his attack on you, which you knew was wrong, but given what you saw that night then and now again last night, you knew that there was more to him than he let on. He had been through a lot and it wasn't his fault. You wanted to believe that not all of it at least.

You gave Ben a few minutes to wake up properly in silence. You decided that you weren't going to talk about last night if he wouldn't bring it up himself.

“So, I wanted to talk about house chores with you.”

He looked at you with a completely dead face. “You made me get out of my pajamas for this? Are you having a stroke?”

It was not easy for you to hold back laughter. “First of all - no, I'm not having a stroke.” You took too big of a bite out of your breakfast sandwich. “Secondly - you really call that silky green pornstar robe a pajama? Are you a five year old?” You started choking on your food, trying to keep a straight face asking this from him.

“I don't know. Sounds to me like you're just jealous. I can lend it to you, you know? It's very comfortable.” A genuine smile, the first one you’ve seen from him, lit up his whole face. He took his plate and got up from the table. God, he’s gorgeous. You gave yourself a mental slap and stopped that thought right there. NO, Y/N. You can’t think like that. He literally tried to kill you. It started to feel dangerous already being around him, and it was only the start of the third day. You cleared your throat before speaking.

“No, seriously though. We have to set up some basic stuff to keep the place tidy for both of us. It's not the 50s anymore. Women have jobs now, you know. I have a job, too and I will not take everything onto my shoulders.”

“Mm, yeah, not gonna happen.” Ben took his food and disappeared into his room.

“Oh, come on! Ben!” You called after him, but the only answer you received was the loud thud from the door shutting behind him. This went as well as I had expected. You sighed defeatedly and started to clean up the kitchen before heading to work.

Meeting after meeting, one deposition on top of the other, your day passed excruciatingly slow. And it was just Monday, which was already the downside to begin with.

On your way out of the office building, you pulled out your phone. On your lock screen glowed notifications of unanswered calls and a message from Ben, asking you to pick up some whiskey and drugs.

You rolled your eyes, already regretting giving him your phone number. Hughie had taught Ben how to use a smartphone. You can only imagine how that must've looked to a bystander. For a scrawny little dude, Hughie must have iron nerves to have kept up with Ben.

Before you could text him back, a call from Jessica came in and a sense of dread washed over you.

“Hi, Jessica. What can I do for you?”

“Hello, Y/N, I know you left the office for the day already, but please come see me first thing in the morning. We need to talk.”

We need to talk. That definitely didn’t ease your mind. You breathed deeply for a moment before answering to her. “Alright, I'll see you tomorrow.”

You knew what this was going to be about. They’ve decided on who to offer the Senior partner position. And judging by Jessica’s voice, it probably wasn’t going to be you. Scratch that. It definitely wasn’t going to be you.

You did a quick trip to the grocery store, picking up coffee and some things for dinner tonight. And you didn't forget Ben, and got him whiskey, although drugs were where you would draw the line. You will not be one to supply him with drugs.

Walking home from the corner store, you had some time to think. You wanted that position. You wanted to give your contribution to developing Pearson Hardman to its best. You wished to have the same kind of impact on junior associates, like Jessica had on you when you first started in the firm. You’ve given a lot to work yourself up. It didn’t feel selfish to you to think that you deserved that. But even if you wouldn’t get it, you knew it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Becoming a partner would be one of your biggest goals in professional life, but at the end of the day, you were still working to help people. And that's what matters. That’s what you tried to focus on at least.

You tried to push all the work thoughts out of your mind so you could relax just for a few hours that's left of the evening before you'd pass out on the couch. You threw together a quick dinner for both you and Ben and went straight to bed afterwards, hoping that you’d get more sleep this time.

But again, you woke up in the middle of the night, hearing his screams from the other room. It was only the second night and already you could feel it drain you more than the last night.

You stood at the door for a minute, just staring at him. How you were supposed to last two weeks or longer doing this almost every night, you had no idea, but now you knew that you couldn’t just leave him either. If it was in your power to help him, you had to at least try. No matter what he’d done. No matter what he would do. Knowing what he had gone through, it had already become impossible for you to just walk away from him. So you didn't.

For over an hour you were by his bed tonight, barely holding yourself together as you got him through the nightmare.

“I don't need your help. I'm fine,” Ben snapped at you as he woke up and rested his head against the headboard with a sigh.

“Yeah, looks like it.” You stared at him for a minute, but seeing he wouldn't even look at you, you scoffed and got up from the bed.

“Fine.” You left his room in a hurry and closed the door behind you with a loud thud.

You pulled the blanket over your head, trying to fall back asleep. After laying in bed for almost an hour, you finally managed to get some sleep, but only a short time later, your alarm pulled you out from deep sleep and you had to back down from the urge to throw your phone across the room. Exhaustedly you sat up in bed and let your legs hang over the edge.

You had all your hope put into a morning shower and a strong coffee to make you somewhat functional, but today they chose to let you down. You were still tired and distraught from Ben's dreams from the night.

You know that these dreams are tormenting him almost daily, but if he says he doesn't want help, should you even keep doing that? Should you still put yourself through all that pain? It hasn't been this bad while helping others, but with Ben, everything felt tenfold stronger. You could feel yourself being so close to breaking already.

Jessica was already in the office when you arrived, despite it being a few hours before the official start of the work day. She really is the perfect example of a self-made woman and you were definitely lucky to have her as a mentor.

You knocked on the open door of her office. “Hi, Jessica, you wanted to see me?”

“Y/N, good morning. Yes, come on in.” Jessica greeted you with a smile as you stepped in. “Close the door and take a seat, please.”

You sat down across from her. She already had the look. The same look she always gets when she has to give bad news. You knew what was coming, but still you held onto the small glimmer of hope that the outcome would be in your favor.

“I asked you to come here to tell you that the board had a meeting yesterday. All the partners voted on who will be offered the open Senior partner position.”

You took a deep breath and nervously started to play with your rings under the table out of Jessica's sight.

“I want you to know that we were thinking in favor of the firm and the decision was purely made on professional aspects. That's why we're going to move forward with Harvey. I hope you understand.”

“Right, of course. I do understand. He's..” you swallowed the lump in your throat before continuing. “Harvey is a hard worker. He's the right choice.” You smiled at her, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.

For the rest of the day you buried yourself into work to use it as a distraction. Because that's what usually keeps you from spiraling down. Today you hoped it would keep your mind away from Ben, too.

For the whole day you had managed to keep yourself from thinking about him. You were busy. You just didn’t have time to thirst over him from that one moment you saw him without a shirt.

Or that morning in the kitchen…almost naked. But now in your quiet office? It was hard not to think of him. You swallowed hard before forcing your focus back to the papers in front of you. You were berating yourself for even giving him space in your head. You knew the guy for three days and he had tried to kill you. Literally.

But something about him still pulled you towards him. And it was much more than just sexual attraction. You weren’t going to lie to yourself - he was hot. Goddamn, he was hot and you wanted him all over you. And if keeping your dignity wouldn’t have mattered to you, you probably would’ve jumped his bed yesterday morning. But something else captivated you about him and you couldn't put a finger on it.

It was well past 9pm when you heard a startling knock on your office door. You raised your head quickly and saw Harvey at the door.

“Hey, you're still here this late?” He asked curiously, leaning on the doorframe. Letting out a deep sigh you started to gather together all the papers scattered around on the table.

“Just finished. It's not that late, is it? Time just flies when you're having fun. You of all people should know it.” Tired smile on your face betrayed how you were feeling on the inside. You cleared your throat. “I saw Jessica this morning. I guess congratulations are in order.” You stood up from the desk and reached out your hand to him.

The air in the room was dense from the tension between you and Harvey. “You don't have to do that.” He gave you a little, sad smile.

“Do what?” You lowered your hand back down after seeing him not reach out to it.

“You don't have to pretend that you're happy for me, Y/N. I know you wanted that spot, too.”

For a moment the room fell silent, the only sound in the office was quiet shuffling as you packed up your bag to leave. “I'm not.” You zipped up your bag and threw it over your shoulder. “I'm not pretending, I mean. I am happy for you.” You quickly followed up before he'd get the wrong idea. “They did what they think is best for the company, and you deserve it, so of course I’m happy for you.” You smiled genuinely as you walked past Harvey into the hallway.

“Thanks.” He still sounded hesitant, but from you there were no hidden meanings behind your words. You really were happy for him. He is a good friend of yours and has been for a long time. That didn’t mean that you weren’t just a little jealous of him.

Cool night air hit you as soon as you stepped out of the building. You were tired, but you didn’t want to go home yet.

You started to walk, completely unsure of where you’d end up. Mindlessly you wandered around on the streets, witnessing the start of the night life in front of your eyes, despite it being Tuesday.

One underground bar caught your attention, and you decidedly walked towards it to check it out. You weren't planning to stay longer than for a drink. Working with a hangover was hell on earth, so one time was enough for you. You had definitely learned from your mistakes and were not excited to repeat them.

From the looks of the groups of people lingering outside of the bar, you expected it to be crowded to the roof, but you were pleasantly surprised that there were not that many people in there, and you even had the option to choose seating for yourself. It’s still early, you thought as you picked out a table in the far back corner.

You sat down right beside the wall, facing away from the rest of the room, leaving an empty seat between the table and wall.

You sat there for a minute, massaging your temples to get rid of the headache that slowly started to build. You hadn't slept well for the past few nights and it started to get to you.

After getting your drink, you sat back down and raised the glass to your lips, when you heard a voice behind you, the same one you were trying to run away from right now.

“Didn't think I'd find you in a hole like this.”

Fuck. Now I'm imagining things, too. You downed the drink in one go. You had planned on sipping on it slowly, savoring it. You winced as the whiskey burned your throat going down. There were heavy footsteps approaching and then he sat down across from you.

“What are you doing here?” You sighed tiredly.

Ben flagged down the bartender. “What does it look like, sweetheart? I'm getting a drink."

“Why here? Were you following me?” You asked him straight up.

Ben scoffed. “Hah, don't flatter yourself. I like this bar.”

“Really?” You didn't hide the disbelief from your voice. You had a feeling that he wasn't telling quite the truth. “What's the name of it?”

You saw from his expression that he was racking his brains to come up with some name. “Little…Sal’s?” A grin broke out on his face. “What?”

You grimaced at his stupid answer. “No, Ben, it's not...that. Why were you following me?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don't even know. I tried to call, but you didn't answer.”

“Well, that should've been your first clue that I didn't want to talk.”

“And you didn't come home either.”

“Should’ve taken that as a second clue. Don't tell me you actually started to worry about me?” You winked at him teasingly.

“Well, it's not safe for a woman like you to be out alone at this hour.”

“A woman like me?”

“Yeah. In my experience, beautiful women like you tend to meet troublesome men, who then try to take advantage of them.” He smiled at you amusingly.

“Oh, is that so? And you thought, what, that you'd come and save a damsel in distress?” You got up to leave. “I can take care of myself.”

“Y/N, please. Stay for a drink.”

“Already had a drink.” You answered him curtly.

“Well, humor me. I can see there's something bothering you.” He ordered new drinks, one for you, too and it would've been impolite to not accept it. That's how you tried to convince yourself, even though you were pretty sure he would've just drank it himself, if you would've declined.

He pushed a glass towards you as you sat back down. “As an apology.” You laughed wryly at his gesture. “I would actually like a real apology as an apology.” You then squared your shoulders and looked directly at him.

You could see him tense up, as if saying three little words would somehow now break him. You didn't want to let him see how intimidating he actually was to you. You had already seen what he had been through, but at the same time you were well aware of the atrocities he was accused of and what he was actually capable of doing. In every sense possible, Ben was a dangerous man. And now you were calling him out to apologize to you, knowing very well that if anything sets him off the wrong way, he could blow up the bar and half of the block with it. Your heart was almost jumping out of your throat when the two of you kept staring at each other in silence.

You saw his jaw slack. “Fine.” He gritted through his teeth. “I'm sorry."

After practically pulling these words out of him, you decided you were not going to accept them this easily. “For what exactly?” Your head was turned to the side as you squinted at him quizzically.

“Oh, come on! Really? I said I was sorry!” He fell back in his chair.

“Yes, really! I'm not going to accept some half-assed apology after I had to drag it out from you!”

Ben leaned in on the chair and took one of your hands into his. He probably heard how hard your heart was beating at his move, given that little smirk on his lips which disappeared quickly.

You wanted to believe. For the sake of your own heart, you wanted to believe that Ben was actually a good man, because you started to get scared of where you were heading with your scaringly, stupidly fast developing feelings. You hadn't even had a proper conversation before other than the one you just had.

“I really am sorry for assaulting you. I... I was completely out of my head and…I think high, too” He seemed to be genuinely sorry. “...and unfortunately you got caught in the way.” He squeezed your hand assuringly.

You bit your cheek and you were torn. Your mind was screaming ‘run and don't look back’, but in your heart there was a gaping loneliness. And that loneliness spoke louder. ‘Just give in. Give in to what you want and tell it to him. You just might have a chance of happiness.’

“You know, I can not tell you to trust me. Not after what I did. I can't make you believe that I've changed. That has to be your own judgment call. And I know I haven't really given you much to look for the positive in me and for that, I am sorry, too.”

You didn't know what to answer him. It was like he was reading your mind. He let go of your hand and raised both glasses. You took one from him, silently accepting the apology. You both finished your drinks in silence, before Ben started to talk again.

“So...Who pissed in your Cheerios?” He leaned forward on the table.

“What do you mean? Other than wanting you to apologize to me, I'm fine.” You tried to brush it off.

“Well, don't get me wrong, doll, but you don't exactly look the type to go to bars on Tuesday evenings. Alone. Yet here you are.”

You downed the last sip and raised a finger to stop Ben from ordering more. You winced a bit, still not getting quite used to the burn. “None for me, thanks.”

“Well, suit yourself.” And he ordered himself a new one. You were debating in your head on how much you really wanted to let him in.

“Will you tell me? Or will we just consider this night to be over?” He asked again.

“It’s just some work stuff.” You said then quietly.

“What about it?” He seemed to really want to know. You didn't understand him at all anymore. On Saturday he didn't even apologize to you for his attack and then made some vile comments that totally had started to mess with your head, and now he is showing interest in your work.

“Why do you care? Why are you so nice to me all of sudden?” You snapped, maybe a little too harshly even, but it was hard for you to keep it in. Ben raised his hands up. “Relax, okay? It's not that I've started to ‘care’. I just..” he scratched his beard, trying to find the words.

“You just what, Ben? You are honestly giving me fucking whiplash with how you have acted after…after that night.” You finished with a shaky voice and crossed your arms on your chest, but you weren't quiet for long. “Not to mention all that crap in the kitchen. And now you are here, let me rephrase it- you followed me here,” you corrected yourself. “And you are asking now ‘who pissed in your Cheerios?’” you made your voice low, comically imitating his. “Well, I guess you did, Ben. So why are you really here?”

“I..” he took a deep breath in. “I'm just trying to be nicer, okay? You don't...” he rubbed his palm over his eyes and beard, as you continued staring at him frowningly. “You have no idea what these last two nights have done to me.” Ben said quietly, voice heavy with what was for him a new, unfamiliar feeling of genuine gratitude. “After you've left, I've been able to fall back asleep, without those nightmares and…it's clear to me that you have not.”

You weren't going to lie to him that it was nothing. Because it was not. You had never expected to be so affected by him. By his pain. And you really were tired. You stared at your hands on the table noticing how you’ve unknowingly started to pick on your nail polish, seeing it chipped on the edges. Maybe you chose wrong, but it was either him or you. “That's why I came in the first place. To help you, Ben. That's what I do.”

“But that's the thing. You help me, but that shouldn't come from your account. And don't get me wrong, I've been needing good sleep for quite some time, because after that..” he left a little pause. “...chamber, all that there's been for me, are just those nightmares, but you don't deserve to go through that for me.”

“How else would I be able to help you then? You didn’t deserve it either.”

“What do you know of what I deserve?” An insincere smile creeped on his lips. “And why should you even help me? You don't know what I've done. Or what I'm capable of doing.” Ben hinted, leaning towards you over the table. You weren't sure if it was one of his scare tactics, but you refused to back down.

"Because of what you just said to me! You told me you've changed. And I've seen what they did to you. I'm not believing for a second that it was all justified.” You reached over the table for his hand. You knew how naive you must’ve sounded. “Deep down you know yourself that you're not a bad person. If you were, if you didn't just care about anyone, you wouldn't have come looking for me. And I should help you, just because I can.” You weren't really sure whether you tried to convince him or yourself.

He pulled away his hand and quickly stood up. “Don't give me that crap!” Suddenly agitated again, he stomped out of the bar. With a heavy sigh you pulled out a few bills for the tab and followed him out.

You didn't see him outside the bar and had no idea if he went home or not, but that's where you were headed.

It was only just a little after midnight when you got home, but Ben was nowhere to be seen. At least I'll be able to sleep peacefully tonight. You thought spitefully and regretted it immediately.

Karma's a bitch indeed. You thought while laying sleepless in your bed, contemplating everything that had happened in the past week.

First of all - the night you first met Soldier Boy. That’s who he was then, before you got to know him. Before he became “Ben” to you. You’ve just seen some glimpses of his past, that’s all. But now he still has claimed a special spot in your mind, even after what he did.

You really didn’t know him at all before all this happened. Just what you’ve seen being published by Vought to the masses. And you always knew to take their words with a grain of salt.

Secondly, you weren’t sure whether to believe his own words either. He was so sure that he did not deserve your help from his night terrors. And you didn’t even know why, but for some reason that crushed you. Maybe you had just fallen for his charm, without a second thought, but his certainty of being so sure of that had to come from somewhere. Somewhere much deeper and you hoped to have a chance to find it out.

But what came as the biggest realization, was what you finally understood about yourself. You had been alone since childhood, only found your friends when you were in college, and the closest who had stayed even after graduating was Harvey. Only now you were mostly just coworkers to each other.

Being alone had made your skin thick, and you learnt to suppress your emotions well. That was the reason why you were so good at your job- you just couldn’t allow yourself to get too emotionally attached to the cases, because you have had the first hand view of good attorneys making grave mistakes, when they’ve gotten influenced by the cases or clients. And now, after years of shutting down your feelings, you know why helping Ben was so important for you. Even his pain made you feel something, and you were more than glad to find out that your heart hadn’t turned completely into stone yet.

You decided there was no point for you to just lay there in bed, so you thought you'd get up and just go to work early. At least that would make you feel useful. Sitting in the kitchen, drinking your coffee you felt eerily weird knowing that you were alone again. You hadn't heard Ben come home during the night and when you woke up, stopping at his door, you didn’t hear his snoring too.

For the whole day you had a gnawing feeling inside. The conversation you and Ben had felt far from finished when he left the bar last night. You weren't sure if he's going to be home in the evening too. Home. You let out a short chuckle staring at your computer screen. It felt funny to think of it as home. You had been there less than a week. This wasn't your home. Not really. But somehow you already got attached to the place, or rather your roommate and you weren't sure how to feel about it.

Few hours later you felt your eyes growing tired and everything started to get hazy. You had been staring at the computer screen far too long and when you were satisfied with what you got done today so after getting the final case files revised, you counted the work day ended.

Standing in front of the apartment building you were once again cursing its existence. Getting down the stairs was easy, but after work climbing up them was the worst imaginable thing for you. Sure, it was good for your health. Cardio and whatnot. You never have time to go to the gym anyway. You just couldn't wait to get used to them. Until then you had no shame in taking off your heels and taking the stairs in stockings. The feeling you got was indescribable, making you let out a sigh of relief.

You fumbled with your keys to open the door, only to discover that Ben had it chained up from the inside. “Oh, come on, Ben! Open the door!” You called in from the cracked door, before closing it. But he didn't came to the door and it felt like it was straight out of some comedy - you, locked out of the apartment, without shoes like some crazy person and of course, of course, in that moment the neighbors happened to come out of their apartment as you were pounding on the door for Ben to let you in. “Open up! Oh- sorry!” You smiled at them apologetically and stepped out of their way to let them past you.

“Alright, alright, stop with the banging! I'm coming.” You heard his muffled grumpy voice through the door.

“Finally…” you mumbled to yourself.

When Ben opened the door you just glared at him for a second. “Why do you, of all people, need to chain the door from the inside?” You pushed past him into the room.

A barely hearable “oh” was all that left your lips when your eyes stopped on the bottle of lotion and a tissue box on the living room table. Suddenly you felt very grateful for him locking up the door.

“So this is what you do when I'm at work? Must be..” you made your eyes exaggeratingly big, even though he didn't see it. “..exciting.”

“It was, yes.” He was already in the kitchen, pouring himself a drink. “Would have been even more so, if I would've been able to finish just now.” He came back to the room, a big smile on his lips and handed you a glass as well and waved at the couch. “Sit.”

You frowned, looking down at the couch too. “Do I want to?”

“Don't be such a prude.”

You rolled your eyes at him and took a seat. “I'm not a prude.” You mumbled quietly into the glass as you started to drink.

You tried to relax next to him, but in his presence you now felt an awkward silence fall between you and Ben.

Anxiety started to slowly rise in your chest thinking about the conversation ahead of you.

“So, Ben. Did you want to talk or were you just waiting for me to spend some quality time together?”

“Yeah, I was just waiting for you,” he answered. “Because you are such a joy to be around.”

Rolling your eyes, you swirled the amber gold liquid in your glass, and shifted in your seat to turn more towards Ben. “Shoot.”

“You know, you don't have to do this, right?”

Here we go again. About how he doesn't deserve my help. You sighed, waiting for him to continue.

“I'm serious. You can just leave. You should've left after the first night. Why are you putting yourself through this?”

“Because I want to help you."

Ben laughed at your words. “Now you want to help me? You didn't seem so keen on doing that when you first saw me.”

“Well, excuse me! I'd like to think my first reaction seeing you was totally justified, considering that you literally tried to kill me a few nights prior.”

“So what changed? Why are you torturing yourself with me?”

“You wouldn't understand. I–” you clamped up and finished your drink instead.

He snorted beside you. “Try me. I'm smarter than I look.” But without another word you got up from the couch and went to the kitchen to grab the whiskey bottle.

“It's just…” you looked at him quickly as you topped up your glass. His eyes were focused on you, indicating he was actually interested in hearing what you had to share.

“It's just that for most of my life I have been alone. Of course I only found that out later, but I was supposedly one of the first babies who got some new experimental version of the Compound V. They found me in some orphanage, where I was quite literally dumped at, so probably they thought ‘perfect, no one will miss her, let's fuck her up’.”

You emptied half of your glass. You even surprised yourself with how easily your story flowed out of you. This is the first time you ever talked about it. Something about him just made you feel safe enough to finally do it.

“I was kept in for a few years, for all kinds of tests and stuff, but when they thought that the V didn't work on me, I was once again thrown onto the streets. Hadn't one of the workers saved me, I probably wouldn't have seen double digits even.”

Thinking back to your childhood, you started to feel your eyes watering. Feeling silly about crying at that, you chuckled, before taking in another sip.

“Sounds like a happy ending, right? Well for me it was out of the frying pan, straight into the fire. For a little while everything was good. Then one day it started to seem like even just me waking up in the morning was an immediate day ruined for my mom. Being belittled and scolded by her became a daily occurrence for me. And if I dared to make a sound then I'd get the belt. “A failure” she used to call me. And that's just what I was. A failed fucking science experiment.”

You sniffled, sipping the whiskey and relishing in the burn it left in your throat, taking the attention from the pain that suddenly filled your heart. “But I pushed through it all. Until she died, when I was in senior year in high school.”

You tried to laugh through the tears. “I get a feeling you didn't ask for my whole life story, but that's what you're getting now.” You exhaled slowly and cleared your throat before continuing. “Well, even when she wasn't that nice or caring towards me when she was raising me, it was still just me and her. And apparently she cared a lot more than just a little, since after her death I found out she left me her apartment and an inheritance big enough to help me start college and gave me a little more time to find a job. And for that I have to be grateful, because I wouldn’t be here without her.”

“When did your powers show?” Ben finally asked. You were almost certain he had fallen asleep, but no, he was still listening. You dried your tears with the sleeve of your shirt.

“Jesus, woman, take a tissue.” Ben awkwardly offered you the tissue box from the table and your eyes went big seeing his gesture, but smiled at him, pulling a few out of the box.

“Uhh...thanks..It was in college. Sophomore year I think. Don't really remember how they started then. And I never told anyone, not even Harvey, who was my best friend then. Now it feels like we only speak to each other, because we work together.” You were feeling a little lighter to be able to get this off your mind. “Anyways, you wanted to know why I want to help you?”

You smiled at Ben, and saw his eyes softening just a little, but he was still clearly uncomfortable by your crying. “Yeah.” It was weird having him being so nice with you.

“Well, growing up like I did, I learned to close up all my emotions. With the job I have, I can't allow myself to make errors because I've gotten too attached to a client or a case. That's against not only my personal morals, but also the company's ethics, because in the end it would only end up with me screwing up my work. I can't afford that. How is it all connected to you? Well…” you looked directly at him. “This sounds so horrible, but even just feeling your pain makes me glad that everything I've gone through hasn't turned me into a senseless zombie yet. At least the pain is something.” You laughed humorlessly, feeling glad to see your little breakdown passing.

He remained quiet, visibly in thought and you couldn't even take a guess what was going on in his head.

For a while both of you drank in silence. Of course Ben did most of the job with emptying the bottle, you couldn't possibly outdrink him, but you didn't fall far behind and you knew already that you were fucked at tomorrow’s meeting. Figuratively. Sadly.

You had to give him some credit. He definitely wasn't wrong when he accused your moodiness with being too long without getting laid. The question was now if his offer to help you was still standing, but you didn't want to seem too desperate by just asking him to fuck you. Trying to get your mind off him, you decided to grab a new bottle from the fridge and ditched your glass, drinking it directly from the bottle. Ben seemed a little surprised for a second but accepted the bottle when you offered it to him.

“What is this shit?” He grimaced after taking a big sip from the bottle, and looked at the label, furrowing his brows. “Honey Whiskey.” You held back your laugh, seeing his face and added innocently, without revealing that this is what you usually drink. You just can't help it, you like your alcohol sweet. “They didn't have anything else.” He only rolled his eyes at you, and made a little face before drinking again.

“So what about you, Ben?” You asked as your eyes relaxed on Ben's lips, coming off the bottle with a drop of whiskey on them. His tongue quickly darted out to lick it up, but it seemed to happen in slow-motion and you desperately wished you could've been brave enough to do it yourself. To taste the sweetness on his lips. Instead you wet your own drying lips from the sight of him, before he looked at you. He caught you staring and his green eyes held you locked with a burning gaze for a minute. Coughing awkwardly, you quickly turned your eyes down from him.

“What about me?” He finally asked, scoffing at seeing you shy away.

“Why are you so convinced that you are so undeserving of my help?”

“Well, didn't you hear? I was a fucking menace to my team.” He chuckled darkly and handed the bottle over to you. “Apparently so much that they saw the need to get rid of me. Well, fuck them..” he laughed slowly. “They all got what they deserved.”

You didn't have to think twice about what he was implying, but you were wondering whether to raise the topic of why tried to kill you. You decided to not bring it up. He did say he was high then.

“And you think that this is the reason why you're not worth my help?"

“No, I-I just am not..” he grabbed the bottle from your hands. “I've done a lot of batshit crazy stuff in the past. Being honest now, not even half the crap that Vought has pinned on me, but that doesn't make it any better, does it?”

“Well, tell me one thing, Ben.” You scooted across the couch a little bit closer to him. “You told me yesterday you're a "changed man". If you had the chance, would you do it again? All that payback on Payback?”

“What are you now? My shrink?” He looked down on you, almost condescendingly, and sitting next to him made you feel so small. You couldn't push away the thoughts of asking him to have his way with you. You blamed it on the alcohol. It didn't help you relax at all, it only managed to make you horny.

“No, not that..” you said slowly, trying to get your mind out of the gutter, but with no effect. “Just trying to make up my mind on you, I guess.”

“What's the point of speculating on that then? If I say yes, would that change your current opinion on me?”

You looked up at him. “As you said yesterday, you're leaving it up to me to make my mind up on you. So, probably no, it wouldn't change it. I still think you didn't deserve what happened to you and I'd want to help you.”

You took the bottle from him to finish it off. “But you know, if you're fine with the nightmares, you can always lock your bedroom door. Message received loud and clear. Your decision, that's all.” You simply shrugged and got up from the couch.

“I'm off to bed.” You decided to end the night right there, before you did anything you'd probably come to regret in the morning. “Good night, Ben.”

“Night.” He mumbled under his breath and you heard him crush a pill with a glass, followed by a snort.

After your quick night routine, you got into your comfy shorts and top for sleep and tied your hair into a bun. Laying down in bed you rolled from side to side, unable to find a comfortable position. For over an hour you tried to fall asleep, getting more and more annoyed by the familiar ache for release keeping you from it. You had to do something for it and you hoped to God that Ben wouldn't hear you.

You reached for the drawer on your left and pulled out your good old reliable vibrator. You were damn glad that you decided to pack it up. It was nothing fancy, but in the last desperation, it got its job done well. It had been quite a while since you've used it and you were hoping it would not fail you now.

You quickly discarded your pants, threw them over the edge onto the floor. Your fingers slipped easily through the slick that had drenched your underwear. He didn't even do anything to me. How the fuck am I so wet already?

Your mind was racing when you started to slowly rub your clit. You quickly fell into a familiar rhythm with your fingers, despite it being a long time since you've last masturbated. Pleasuring yourself for a while, you felt the tension starting to build deep in your core, but the release seemed still miles away. It had been too fucking long for you and even now you knew you couldn't get yourself off with just your fingers. You needed more.

You grabbed the vibrator from the bed and slid it up against your clit before turning it on the slowest speed. Your hips bucked involuntarily when the low hum filled the room. The sweet tingling sensation against your bud quickly became almost overbearing.

You were just about to slide it in, when a knock on your door brought you out of your growing bliss.

“Sugar, if you're only relying on that plastic stick to get you off, then I'm honestly not surprised you're so pent up.” Your pussy quivered involuntarily when you heard his low rumble from the other side of the door.

You sat up in bed, trying to slow your breathing. “Leave me alone!” You couldn't bring yourself to tell him to take the toy’s place, that was still turned on in your hands, even though that's what you were imagining.

“Oh, no, sweetheart, I'm coming in.” You saw the door open.

“Ben! What the fuck? No!” You yelled at him as you tried to cover yourself in a hurry, but with no luck because before you got under the covers, Ben's large frame was already in your doorway.

To Be Continued »»» Part 2

Taglist: @jackles010378 @nescavaneck @cevansbaby-dove @deanwinchestersgirl87 @winchesterwild78 @anundyingfidelity @suckitands33 @waynes-multiverse

Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated!🤍

[lucidlivi]

Never Been You

Requested: @hzllxhoundxx

Everything Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 (if you'd like added to my everything tag list, please indicate by saying "please tag me in everything Jensen/Dean")

Warnings: Angst, Demon Dean, Kidnapping, Violence, Mature Themes, Demon Dean Being an Absolute Dick

Following S10 E2, S10 E3 (of course with my twist!)

I got carried away so this is a hella long one for you guys!

"you need to get to Beulah North Dakota now!" I rushed out to Castiel who was on the other end of the phone call.

"I do?"

"yes, Crowley and Dean were there, we have to pick up their trail."

I looked over to see Sam in the truck hunched over in pain.

"good, great."

I felt the emotions wash over me for what felt like the thousandth time since seeing the footage of Dean, our Dean, sporting black eyes. Castiel has no idea.

"Not exactly, Cas, Dean's a Demon." I said feeling the unshed tears slip from my eyes.

"Dean's a Demon? How?"

"It's the mark Cas, it messed him up, I don't know." I cried.

"that's a vast understatement." Castiel grumbled.

"look Cas, I know you're not feeling so hot right now, but I need you, it’s sort of an all hands on deck situation, so…"

"so I'll be there."

I hopped back in the truck I had rescued Sam in and continued to drive to North Dakota. I played through every scenario in mind of how this could go, and none of them ended well.

I needed to find Dean, I needed to help him.

"I got a lead, disturbance at a night club, a rowdy patron beat a security guard senseless. It sounds like a demon thing to do." Sam said looking at his phone.

"I guess let's check it out then."

It was still daytime when we were pulling up to the strip club.

Of course Dean would end up here.

"think that's the guy?" I asked Sam, looking at a muscular security guard who was wearing a sling identical to Sam's and had two black eyes.

"I would say it's a safe bet."

I stopped the truck hopping out, followed by Sam.

"excuse me sir, is this the guy who attacked you last night?" Sam asked straight forward, showing a picture of Dean.

"that's the guy, I called 911 but he was gone before they showed up."

Damn.

I didn't expect him to still be here, but it felt like a blow to the gut to actually hear it.

"that dude get to you too?" He asked Sam referencing his sling.

"uh no, this uh is just a hunting accident." Sam responded.

"would you do us a favor, if this guy shows back up, please give us a call." I said producing a fake FBI business card with my number on it.

"you bet."

"thanks."

I ran a hand through my hair with a huff before getting back in the truck.

"what now?" I asked, feeling the tears prick at my eyes again.

I couldn't bare the thought of Dean actually being a demon.

"I don't know." Sam said in defeat.

I drove the truck to a nearby motel, renting us a room. Sam had been through hell, he needed to rest. I helped him lay down on the bed, noticing his eyes get instantly heavy.

"I'll be right back, I'm just going to get something out of the truck." I told him, rushing outside.

As soon as I stepped outside, I heard a voice that made my blood boil with anger.

"hello there love."

I turned around to see Crowley with a smirk on his face.

"did ya miss me?"

I huffed in anger, reaching behind me to pull a blade from my belt loop.

"oh so much." I growled.

"easy now, I know you're here for Dean, and I'm here to give him to you."

Is this a trick?

I could never truly trust Crowley.

"I don't understand."

"you see he's bad for business, he's.. he's become uncontrollable, must be the mark.." Crowley trails off with a smirk.

"anywho Dean's your problem now, again, forever." Crowley added.

"then where the hell is he?" I snapped, not being able to contain my anger towards the king of hell.

"ah ah, first there's a small matter of my finders fee."

"nothing ever comes free with you, wouldn't have expected anything less."

****************************************************

I hesitantly walk in to the bar not knowing what to expect. I didn't even tell Sam where I was going. I knew he didn't have the strength to fight, and I didn't want him to get hurt.

"hiya angel." Dean said looking up at me with a smirk.

I felt my breathing get heavy as I looked at him. It was Dean in the flesh, but this thing was so far from Dean. Dean was brave, he was kind, Dean cared.

"I told you to let me go." Dean said picking up his glass of whiskey and sipping it.

"you know I can't do that Dean."

He smirked, taking another sip.

"by the way, your pal Crowley, he sold you out, didn't take him much." I said stepping a bit closer.

"sounds like him."

"Dean, we can cure demons, don't you remember that?" I asked taking another step closer.

Dean picked up the first blade, walking past me in a threatening manner.

"a little latin, lot of blood, yeah it rings a bell. but did you ever stop to think that if I wanted to be cured, I wouldn't have bailed."

"Dean that was Crowley, you don't know what you're doing."

"that's what you think." Dean said pouring himself another glass of whiskey.

"well it doesn't matter Dean, whatever happened, whatever went down, we will fix it." I said cautiously taking another step towards him.

"Oh will we? Meanwhile I'm doing all I can to not come over there and rip your throat out."

"Dean you don't mean that."

"I'm giving you a chance to run sweetheart, better take it." Dean threatened.

"I'll pass." I said quickly.

“I'm not walking out that door with you, I'm just not, so what are you going to do angel, huh? Are you going to kill me?" Dean asked.

I felt a chill run down my spine at the way he called me angel. It was laced with venom.

"I didn't come here to kill you."

"why? you have no idea what I've done, in fact I might have it coming."

"I don't care Dean, you're my best friend, and I'm here to take you home. I'm here to save you."

I wanted to admit so much more to him.

I wanted to tell him that it's because I was in love with him and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I was worried now that I wouldn't get the chance too.

I heard Dean start to chuckle.

"save me? why would you want to save me? it's never been you, you know." Dean said taking a sip.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Dean got up sauntering his way over to me. I instinctively took a step back, not trusting him. I soon found out though, the more distance I tried to put between us the closer he got. I raised my hand up putting it on his chest to stop him from getting any closer.

Dean smirked at me before twisting my arm and bringing his hand up to my throat. He pinned me to the wall a twisted look in his eyes. I felt a chill run down my spine, he was getting pleasure out of this.

"I see the way you look at me, the way you lust for me, you want me." Dean smirked.

I glared at him, trying to turn my face away, his hold on my throat getting tighter.

"you don't want to kill me because you're in love with me, and you have been for quite some time, haven't you?"

I couldn't speak, Dean's hold on me was too tight. I furrowed my eyebrows as if to convey he wasn't right, even though he was.

"and its never been you for me.. you see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, i've been fucking everything with a heartbeat." Dean growled.

I could feel the tears brim my eyes as his words cut in to me. I knew he was just trying to hurt me, but part of me wondered if that's how Dean actually felt.

He let go of my throat, shoving me to the floor. I instantly stood back up taking out the handcuffs from my back pocket.

"you really think those are going to work sweetheart?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"well there's one way to find out."

As I took a step forward, the window shattered and the entire room started filling with smoke. I looked to my left to see someone had threw a smoke grenade. I felt the air rush from my lungs as I breathed in the smoke. I put my shirt over my mouth and nose, trying to find an exit. I started to cough, as my vision got blurry.

I finally found the emergency exit, pushing it open. I saw the silhouette of a man on the other side as I collapsed from smoke inhalation. He struck me across the face hard, causing me to fall back to the ground, hitting my head in the process.

I was seeing stars as I sat clutching my bleeding head. Dean came out glaring the man down. I heard them exchange some words, but couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.

I noticed myself start to slip in and out of consciousness.

I saw them start to fight, Dean clearly having the upper hand.

I felt like my head was on fire, as I glanced up seeing Dean holding the first blade to the guys neck. He was going to kill him. I was surprised when he dropped him, tucking the blade back in to his pocket. I tried to muster up any strength I could to get up, but my body was betraying me. Dean walked over to me, a sick grin etched on to his face as he swayed his hips.

"Dean please." I choked out.

"time to sleep now baby."

Dean raised his hand striking me, and that's the last thing I remember before my world went dark.

****************************************************

I was in agonizing pain as I fluttered my eyelashes open. I panicked as I couldn't move my body. I looked down to see my arms and legs were bound to a wooden chair. I gathered from my surroundings that I was in some kind of warehouse, but I didn't recognize where.

"oh good, you're awake."

Dean came over crouching in front of me so we were eye level.

"let me go." I growled.

"can't do that angel." He said caressing my cheek.

I quickly moved my head away, causing his hand to fall.

"you don't want to provoke me." Dean growled.

"or what? you're going to kill me?"

Dean gave a sickly sweet smile. He leaned in close whispering in my ear.

"or you're going to wish you were dead."

"I'm not scared of you Dean." I snapped.

Dean lets out a chuckle, standing to his feet.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much, feisty little thing."

"why don't you let me out of these ropes and I'll show you just how feisty I can be."

Dean chuckled again, grabbing a bottle of whiskey taking a sip.

"I don't even know why I'm talking to you, this isn't even the real you." I scoffed.

"oh it's the real me alright, the new real me, the me who sees things for what they actually are."

I scoffed again rolling my eyes at his words.

"hunters, do-gooders, fighting the natural order, well let me tell you something sweetheart people like me, we are the natural order."

"yeah well people like me still gotta do what we can." I growled.

Dean smirked as he crouched back down to my eye level.

"oh don't be so full of yourself baby, cause you see from where I'm sitting, there ain't much difference from what I turned in to, to what you already are." Dean smirked.

"and what is that supposed to mean?" I growled.

Dean took one hand resting on my cheek, the other on the back of my neck so I couldn't move away from him again.

"I know what you did when you went looking for me, how far you went." Dean whispered, dangerously close to my face.

I felt the guilt sink back in.

I just kept telling myself I did what I had to in order to find Dean. I felt my breathing quicken as Dean came in closer, practically brushing his lips against mine.

"so let me ask you baby, which one of us is really the monster?"

I felt the tears brimming my lashes as Dean stared at me. Dean smirked as he stood back up.

"Now you and Sammy were trying to get a twenty on Crowley and me from any demon you could snag, but Crowley didn't want to be found, and no one showed when you summoned. But you my angel, you found your own way didn't you?"

I was ridden with guilt as I remembered how I tricked Lester in to summoning a demon to make a deal.

"You would've liked to have gotten there before the deal went down but you didn't really care about poor ol' Lester did you? Oh and just so you know, I uh killed Lester myself." Dean smirked as if it were funny.

"I never meant.." I started to choke out but Dean cut me off.

"who cares what you meant, that line that we thought was so clear between us and the things we hunted, ain't so clear is it?" Dean yelled.

I bit my lip to stop the tears from falling.

"wow, you know, you might actually be worse then me. I mean you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul, nice work baby." Dean said crouching back down.

I spit in his face, the anger I was feeling towards him boiling over. Dean angrily wiped his face off with the hem of his shirt.

"there's no point in trying to bring your best friend back now." Dean growled.

"oh I’ll bring him back, if it's the last thing I do." I growled.

"In fact, your uh guilt ridden, weight-of-the-world best friend, has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. I have to say though, I'm loving the new model, lean, mean, Dean."

I rolled my eyes turning my head away from him.

"I can't believe you're still trying! I mean, I couldn't wait to get away from you. I chose the king of hell over you! I guess I was just tired of having to coddle you, always having to yank your ass out of the fire. Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?" Dean said.

I could feel the tears run down my cheeks as he spoke.

"this isn't my best friend talking, he would never say those things." I spoke, more for my benefit than for his.

"you never had a best friend, just an excuse for wimping out, and guess what angel, I quit."

"no, you don't get to quit, we don't quit, okay you and me Dean we're bonded whether you like it or not, and this bond is all that we've got." I cried.

"well then we've got nothing." Dean smirked.

I looked down at the floor, praying that Sam had noticed I was gone. I was praying to Castiel to come find me. I knew if it came down to it, I couldn't kill Dean, even if it meant he'd kill me. I was praying for another solution.

I heard the door open and the sound of heeled footsteps against the floor.

"you brought us a play thing?"

I looked up to see a female, she wore black eyes similar to Deans.

"not us, mine." Dean growled at the girl who took a step closer to me.

"but I want to play too." she smirked coming over to me, brushing a piece of hair off my bare shoulder.

I shivered at her touch, trying to move away with what limited space I had.

"I said no." Dean growled.

I glanced up meeting Dean's eyes and for a second, just a second, I could see he wasn't totally gone.

"have you gone soft on us Winchester?"

"ha, not even, but you see that one's kind of a special project of mine, and I want to kill her myself." Dean smirked staring at me.

"okay, then I won't kill her."

As she said this, she shoved the chair back, causing me to hit my head on the concrete below. I grunted as the air was knocked out of my lungs.

"I'll just hurt her." she laughed.

"Dean please." I pleaded, struggling to breathe.

"Dean's gone." the woman whispered, running a hand through my hair.

"Dean I know you're in there. I'm begging you. I always rely on you because I know I can. Dean you're the most selfless person I know. I know that somewhere inside you still care. I know you don't want to hurt me Dean." I cried.

As I was putting on my show, I managed to wiggle one of my arms free. I reached around to grab my blade that was hidden in my belt loop, but I didn't feel anything.

"are you looking for this?" she smirked, inspecting the demon blade.

"go back to hell where you belong." I snapped.

"nice show, even almost had me fooled for a second." I heard her laugh.

She held the blade to my cheek. I could feel my breathing quicken as she ran the blade down my cheek towards my neck. She pressed in just enough to draw a small trickle of blood. I looked past her to try to reason with Dean again but I didn't see him.

I suddenly felt blood splatter on my face. It was coming from the woman's mouth as Dean plunged the first blade deeper in to her spine. I watched the life leave her eyes in an instant. Dean grunted as he ripped the blade out, her now lifeless body slumping over my own. He threw her body off of me, picking the chair back up.

He started to pace around the room as if he wasn’t sure what just happened.

"look what you made me do!" Dean yelled.

"Dean, let me go, and then I can help you." I whimpered weakly.

Dean glared at me, his eyes going black before flashing back to his normal green ones. Dean growled, opening the door to the room before slamming it shut leaving me alone.

I had to get out of here. I noticed my blade still on the ground, just a few feet from where I sat. If I can get to it, I can cut myself free.

I leaned over as far as I could, causing the chair to tip over sideways. I once again smacked my head on the concrete as I fell. I groaned at the impact but shook it off, using my free arm to pull myself closer to the knife. I reached out my arm, my fingers just barely grazing the handle.

"come on!" I exclaimed, trying to grip it again.

I finally managed to wrap my fingers around the handle of the blade. I breathed a momentary sigh of relief, cutting my other arm free from the ropes than cutting my ankles free. I stood up weakly looking for an exit. I took my sleeve, wiping the blood off my face.

I wasn't sure how much of it was hers, and how much of it was my own.

I finally saw a red exit sign. I mustered up all my strength sprinting over to it. I put my hand on the door, but suddenly stopped.

I couldn't leave him.

I wouldn't.

I was debating with myself when I heard a loud growl. Dean must've come back and noticed I was gone.

"you're coming home whether you like it or not." I whispered, running through the warehouse.

I could hear Dean walking after me, opening doors as he went. It was eery how calm he walked.

"come on baby, don't you want to hang out with me, spend a little quality time." Dean yelled.

I quieted my breathing as I found the keys to the electrical room. I moved quietly against the walls towards the room.

I heard Dean kick down some doors, growling every time I wasn't behind one of them. I managed to get to the electrical room. I fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the door.

"fuck" I muttered in frustration.

I finally got in, and immediately pulled every switch I could, killing the power.

"that's smart angel, but now I know where to find you." Dean growled as he rushed towards where I was.

I hid against the wall waiting for him. I heard him enter quietly, looking around for me.

"come on out angel, you're just making things worse for yourself." Dean growled.

I rushed over to the door, just as Dean threw the switches back, restarting the power.

"now this is me yanking your ass out of the fire." I spit slamming the door and locking him inside.

I heard Dean chuckle.

"this is your big plan, locking me in?"

"Dean, just please come with me and we can cure you." I said holding out my demon blade.

It was completely silent.

"Dean?"

I jumped in fright as Dean banged on the door, slowly splitting the wood.

"you act like I wanna be cured, personally I like the disease." Dean growled, using a hammer he found to break the door down.

"Dean stop! I don't want to use this blade on you!" I yelled holding it out further in front of my body.

"that sucks for you doesn't it angel, cause you really mean that." Dean smirked, hitting the door with the hammer again.

"Dean if you come out of that room, I won't have a choice." I whimpered, choking back tears.

"oh sure you will, and I know which one you'll make, isn't that right baby?" Dean growled smacking the door harder.

I knew the door wouldn't hold him much longer.

"I'm lucky though, cause there's just enough demon left in me that killing you, ain't gonna be a choice at all." Dean growled continuing to break the door down.

I felt the tears streaming down my face at this point. I could see the door giving way. I turned around sprinting away before it broke completely. I heard one last loud bang before the door gave way. Dean's heavy footsteps were once again behind me.

"come on angel, lets kiss and make up. I'm tired of playing let's finish this game." Dean growled.

I leaned against the wall taking a deep breath. I didn't have the strength to continue. I knew I was no match for him.

I glanced down the corridor where I thought Dean was coming from. I didn't see him though.

I turned around just in time to see a hammer flying towards my head. I ducked quickly, pushing my demon blade against Dean's throat. I could hear Dean chuckle as he looked at me, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"well, well look at you baby, go on do it." Dean growled leaning in to the knife.

I felt the tears cloud my vision as I slowly dropped the knife.

I couldn't kill him.

I watched as Dean's eyes went black. He gripped my throat throwing me against the wall before slamming me on the ground. I watched him take out the first blade, bringing it above his head.

"Dean I love you."

I closed my eyes, waiting for death to come.

But it didn't.

I opened my eyes to see Dean growling, as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself, a battle for his soul. I caught sight of Castiel sneaking up behind Dean, wrapping him in his arms. Dean growled, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Dean it's over." Cas said his eyes flashing their beautiful blue.

Dean collapsed in CastieI's arms, before I slapped the demon cuffs on him. I felt myself relax as I saw Sam rushing to my side.

****************************************************

"I'll meet you guys soon, just one thing left to do." I said holding the first blade in my hand.

"Be careful." Sam said placing a kiss on my forehead.

I gave him a nod, watching him get in the impala with Castiel and a still unconscious Dean. I sighed as they pulled away from me.

"you can stop hiding now." I called.

I saw Crowley emerge from the shadows, a smirk on his face as he eyed the blade.

"pleasure doing business with you." He spoke reaching his hand out.

I quickly pulled it out of his reach.

"what are you going to do with it?" I inquired.

"oh toss it in a volcano, leave it on the moon, i'll get creative." He laughed.

I hesitantly eyed him.

"believe me love, I don't want Dean getting his hands on the precious any more than you do. he knows I've ratted and he tends to hold a grudge....I don't want to get how you say boned."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"besides a deals a deal."

I huffed before handing the blade over to him.

"I hope you know this doesn't make us square, quite the opposite actually, I swear Crowley if I see you again.." I started but he cut me off.

"oh stop it love, no one likes a tease."

I glared at him one last time before hopping in the truck, starting the drive back to Kansas.

I felt like my head was going to explode from everything that had happened in such a short time. Dean's words replayed in my head on a continuous loop.

It wasn't him, I know that. It didn't make anything he said any less hurtful though.

It's never been you.

You see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, I've been fucking everything with a heartbeat.

Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?

I felt the tears cloud my vision, making the road harder to see. I pulled over to the side of the road and cried. I let out every emotion I'd been holding in.

I cried for Dean, I cried for what he went through. I cried for me. I cried for the strain that this was going to put on our relationship. I just cried.

I didn't know how long I'd been crying but I finally collected myself enough to start driving again. I knew that Sam and Castiel could handle Dean. I'm sure they were already back in Kansas, starting the purified blood cure on Dean.

I didn't even know if I was ready to face him again. I spilled my darkest secret to Dean, fearing that I would be dead and never having the chance to tell him.

Dean didn't kill me though.

He could have very easily, I didn't put up much of a fight.

But he didn't.

I was praying that maybe some part of him felt something for me too.

I managed to make the rest of the drive to Kansas. I pulled up to the bunker, hearing Dean growl as the demon was expelled from his body. I hesitantly walked over seeing him slumped over in a chair, much like I was hours ago. Sam injected another syringe of purified blood in to his arm.

"what the hell are we doing to him guys? I mean even after everything he said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human." I spoke, feeling the tears that I was sure I had cried all out, start to rim my eyes once again.

"well, I can see his point, you know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain." Castiel said staring directly at me while talking about pain.

"I guess this is easier." Sam added.

I was about to respond when Dean groaned, trying to move. He raised his head, showing us his black eyes, before they returned to their shade of green.

Dean groaned hoarsely before exhaling a big breath. He looked at the three of us confused, as if everything was coming back to him.

"you look worried guys." Dean spoke up.

I could feel Dean's eyes stay on me. He stared at me intently. I just hoped I didn't look as broken as I felt.

Castiel, Sam, and I gave each other a look, all wondering the same thing. Was Dean back?

Sam uncapped the holy water throwing it on to Dean's face. I sighed with relief when he didn't have a reaction to it. Sam smiled at us. I was still a little apprehensive as was Castiel.

"Dean, we've missed you." Sam said.

Castiel and Sam unchained Dean, helping him to his feet. I felt like every word I wanted to say was stuck in my throat. Dean stared at me as the boys led him to his room. He was weak, the blood cure taking a lot out of him.

How was I even supposed to talk to him about this?

Castiel and Sam returned quickly after getting Dean settled.

"how's he doing?" I asked the boys.

"he's still a little out of it, but better. I mean I think the blood cure, all of it, it really wrecked him you know." Sam said giving me an apologetic look.

It was silent for a moment.

"on the plus side, he's hungry again so I'm going to go pick us up some food, you guys mind keeping an eye?" Sam added grabbing the keys to the impala.

I nodded my head as he walked out. Castiel was unnaturally quiet.

"what is it Cas?"

"one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that's true, but the mark of cain, that he still has, and sooner or later that's going to become an issue.”

I knew he was right, Castiel always was.

"one battle at a time Cas." I half smiled.

Castiel looked at me with a sad face. It was no use hiding my emotions from him because the angel always figured it out. Castiel stepped up, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I felt a tear cascade down my cheek as I sunk in his embrace.

"I'm uh, going to get cleaned up." I whispered.

I felt every muscle in my body aching as I walked to the bathroom. I cringed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell.

I sported a hand shaped bruise around my throat, along with a cut from my knife. I had a gash on my head, and my face was still crimson colored from the blood. I could see various other bruises forming all over. I licked over my lip that was busted from being thrown against the wall by Dean.

I definitely looked as broken as I felt.

I sighed as I stepped in to the steady stream of water, the sound of the water slapping against my skin drowned out my sobs. I scrubbed my skin until it felt raw.

I got out wrapping the towel tightly around my body. I tiptoed past Deans room. I couldn't help my curiosity as I heard Dean and Castiel talking.

"thank you, for stepping in when you did... has uh she talked to you? what does she say, does she want anything to do with me?" Dean asked.

I could hear the hurt in his voice. It made me hurt more.

"I'm sure she knows whatever you said, whatever you did, that wasn't really you, I mean it certainly wasn't all of you." Castiel reassured.

"Cas, I tried to kill her. Did you see her? I did that! I can't take back the things I said Cas." Dean said.

"Dean I feel I can be honest with you. You two have been through so much together, you're bonded. It'll take a lot more than you trying to kill her with a hammer to get her to walk away." Castiel said.

"you realize how screwed up our lives are that, that even makes sense?" Dean says causing Cas to chuckle.

"I think you should talk to her, and then maybe you should uh take some time, allow both of you to heal."

I heard Castiel exit Dean's room, closing the door. He gave me a wordless look as he passed, signifying that his words were just as much meant for me as they were for Dean.

Castiel the wise.

Of course I couldn't walk away from Dean.

I sighed as I walked to my room, quickly throwing on some clothes. As soon as I lay in my soft bed, I realize how burnt out I was. I heard a soft knock on my door.

"yeah?" I called out hesitantly.

"it's me, the real me."

I felt the air get caught in my throat.

"come in."

Dean opened the door slowly. I could see the hurt flashing in his eyes at he looked at me. I sat up not meeting his eyes. Dean walked over, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"(y/n), I.."

"you don't have to apologize Dean, I know that wasn't you." I spoke.

"it doesn't make it any less shitty though." He said through gritted teeth.

"or hurt any less." I admitted.

Dean ran a hand through his hair in frustration. I could see that this was really hurting him.

"but you could've killed me, and you didn't, you saved me, you stopped yourself." I said finally meeting his eyes.

"I couldn't kill you. I feel for you too much, even as a demon." Dean whispered, hesitantly looking at me.

I felt my heart swell up at his words.

"what I said, it wasn't true." Dean said, sliding just a bit closer to my body.

"it's okay if part of it was, it's never been me and that's okay." I said feeling my heartache.

Dean looked at me as if I had three heads.

"never been you? It's always been you."

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as Dean put a hand up, caressing one of them.

"Dean I don't know how we move on from this." I cried.

"I don't know either, but we're going to do it, together, just like always."

I smiled at Dean for the first time.

"there's my Dean." I whispered.

Dean leaned in slowly, leaning his forehead against mine.

"did you mean what you said?" Dean asked hesitantly.

I gave him a confused look.

"that you love me, did you mean it?"

I swallowed nervously as I stared at him. I slowly nodded my head adverting my eyes from his gaze. Dean grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

I gasped as Dean crashed his lips on to mine. I was shocked so naturally I was still. Once my brain processed what was happening I pressed my lips against his, kissing him as if my life depended on it. He pulled away slowly, keeping his forehead pressed to mine.

“I love you too, I always have.” Dean spoke.

I felt the tears well in my eyes again, but these tears were different. These weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of pure love.

Dean smiled as he reconnected our lips together in a heated kiss. It was lustful, neither one of use being able to contain the passion we had felt for each other for far too long.

Dean slid his hands under my shirt, gripping on to my hips as he deepened the kiss. I was so caught up in the moment I ignored my muscles screaming at me to stop. Dean brought my shirt over my head, breaking the kiss just long enough to do so. I felt insecure as my bare chest was now exposed for him. I panted as he brought his lips down to my neck gently kissing over the bruise.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Dean said in between kisses.

I grabbed the hem of his shirt taking it off. I saw the mark of cain glistening on his forearm. I brought his arm to my lips, slowly kissing over the mark. Dean pushed me back on the bed so he was hovering over me. I gasped as his hands slid there way down my body to my shorts.

It was slow and passionate. I felt like my skin was on fire every time his fingertips met my skin. Dean dragged my shorts down my legs, his fingers brushing against my sensitive heat.

I wasted no time putting my hands in his pants yanking them down over his butt and down his legs. I was surprised to feel that he was already fully erect.

“do you want this?” Dean asked kissing my lips.

“more than i’ve ever wanted anything.”

Dean, with my consent slowly slid himself in to me. I groaned as my body adjusted to his large girth. He started to move at a slow pace, savoring the feeling of finally being together so intimately.

“It’s always been you.” Dean said as he thrusted deeply.

I don’t think either of us had the energy for the sex we really wanted to have but this sex was sweet, and full of love. I moaned as Dean picked up the pace, but still savoring the feeling of every thrust inside of me. I brought my hips up matching his thrusts. I was a moaning mess as we thrusted against each other, our lips crashing with each thrust.

“Dean” I moaned signifying that I was close.

Dean thrusted some more, softly but at a steady rhythm. I moaned one last time as I felt myself spilling over the edge. I was gripping him so hard, it cause him to release his arousal too. Dean’s body gave out as he collapsed beside me.

“hey guys I got the… oh god really Dean?” Sam said dropping the bag of food and covering his eyes.

I laughed at him, joined by Dean.

“not even back twenty four hours and this is how you’re spending your time.” Sam groaned in embarrassment.

“blame Cas, he’s the one that told us we should talk.” Dean laughed.

Sam backed out of my room, shutting the door behind him. I gazed at Dean but found out he was already staring at me.

“I didn’t save you, you saved me.” Dean whispered tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I’ll always save you Dean.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

Author Note:

I really hope you guys like it! If you feel so inclined please leave a heart, comment, reblog or a follow! I appreciate it!

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 1

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Warnings: Shooting mentioned, not written. American healthcare system. Bullying with an emphasis on fat shaming. Please let me know if I miss any!

Part 2

Series Masterlist

Curtis stormed into the manor. Normally he didn’t care for visiting the higher ups, surrounded by their opulence but this wasn’t normal circumstances. He headed straight for Steve and Bucky’s office, the folder Jake compiled for him under his arm. As much as Curtis wanted to act on this he knew he had to get permission first, as Mace kept reminding him. 

As soon as he entered the office, the Bosses greeted him. 

“The nieces are okay?”

“Yes,” Curtis replied. “We did a priority background search on the would-be thief. Found no connections to other families so he was likely just an idiot trying to get some quick cash.”

“And the guy who took the bullet,” Bucky asked.

“She is currently in the hospital,” Curtis felt his fists tighten, thinking about her situation. “It wasn’t life threatening, just a quick surgery but she’s not gonna be allowed to walk for a few weeks.”

The bosses nodded their heads, “you made sure Beck is her doctor?”

“Yup. But there’s a hitch that I need permission to fix,” Curtis took the folder out from under his arm. “She got fired for missing some big meeting. First person she called was her boss, to explain what happened, and the asshole fired her over the phone. Now she’s trying to leave the hospital way too early because she’s scared of not being able to afford the care.”

Steve and Bucky looked astonished at this information. “Who the hell fires someone for that? Especially when she has the proof to back her story,” Bucky huffed. “You got that information, right?”

“We got it months ago when she first started tutoring the nieces,” Curtis affirmed. “Had to make sure she wasn’t someone playing the long game.” He handed the folder to Bucky who opened it. The men took a few seconds to find her boss’s name. Curtis was pleased to see Steve’s eyes go steely with anger. 

Steve looked at Curtis, “I’ll make sure he gets handled.”

Bucky cut in, “for now, work with Huffman to get the paperwork settled. Officially, she’s been employed by us, as a tutor, for months. We’ll make sure the backpay gets added to her account. Beck and Jensen can work to make sure her insurance goes back as well.”

Curtis nodded his thanks and left to go back to the hospital. Hopefully she hadn’t succeeded in leaving.

“Please,” you plead through tears, “please just let me go home.”

Dr. Beck shook his head, “that would be wildly irresponsible of me. You have no emergency contacts, which tells me you have no one to help you out at home. You need to stay off of your leg for at least a week and you need help to do that. If that means keeping you here for that week, so be it.”

“I can’t af-” 

Dr. Beck interrupts, “I’ve been in touch with some people, namely the family of those two girls you rescued. You’re not paying for anything and they insist you get your full rest here.”

“I…” you’re flabbergasted at the news. Jake and Jefferson had always been kind but you never got the impression they were so well off they could cover someone else’s medical bills. You can’t stop crying. It’s been a tumultuous day.

There was a knock outside the privacy curtain and a deep voice asking, “is it okay to come in?”

“Yeah, come on in,” Dr. Beck replied. “Been expecting you.” He turns to the source of the voice. Walking to your bed is a tall, muscular man with a buzz cut, beard and the most piercing blue eyes you’ve ever seen. You blink back tears and try to compose yourself. Crying around medical staff is one thing. Crying around strangers who might not be used to tears is something else.

“I’m Curtis,” he holds out his hand to you.

“Hi,” you shake his hand, confusion written all over your face.

“I’m here to inform you that you do, in fact, have medical insurance. You also have backpay.” Curtis starts putting paperwork on the patient table in front of you. “You’ve been tutoring my nieces for several months. The least we could do is make sure you’re being paid for your time, complete with benefits. Just need you to sign a few things.”

“What?” Far from answering your questions, you find yourself even more in the dark. “I…I don’t understand…”

“You helped my family,” Curtis replied. “Not only did you offer your time and patience, you’ve given your health and well-being. The least me and mine can do is take care of you.”

“I, uh,” you hesitate, trying not to insult, “are you sure you can afford this?”

“Yes.” There was no room for argument in Curtis’s tone. His face was stern and you discerned no cracks indicating he was lying in any way.

“I don’t know what to say,” you whisper.

“Don’t say anything,” Curtis tells you. “Just sign here, here and here.”

With a look to Dr. Beck, who gives you a reassuring smile and nod, you take the proffered pen and shakily sign where Curtis tells you to.

“And, with that,” Curtis gently smiles, “you were officially hired by us three months ago as a private tutor for two of our nieces. When you’ve recovered, you will return to your work and we may have more for you to do.”

Ransom was having a great day. His ugly assistant missed a big meeting and he finally had grounds to fire her. She'd been hired by his grandfather so he couldn't just get rid of her without a reason. He even encouraged her remote work so he wouldn't have to look at her. Now he could hire an assistant on his own and actually pick someone easy on the eyes.

It's not like the job was difficult. He needed someone who could research stuff he needed to know for his writing. Anyone could do that. He could, too, but he didn't want to and could afford to hire someone else to do it for him.

He was in the middle of writing up the job ad when the door to his office slammed open, making him jump. Steve Rogers was glaring at him as he strode into the room.

“Rogers,” Ransom smiled. “To what do I owe the honor?”

“Did you hear what happened to the nieces today?”

“Jake and Jefferson's girls? No.” Ransom was genuinely concerned. Those girls were spoiled by everyone in the families but they still managed to be the sweetest people he knew.

“There was an attempted robbery at the shop,” Steve continued, walking closer and closer to Ransom. “They were nearly shot by the idiot. Thankfully, they were rescued and someone else took the bullet.”

As Steve sat down on the desk Ransom started putting some pieces together. He wasn't an idiot. The nieces almost being shot and his assistant actually being shot? It would also explain the rage emanating from Rogers.

“The woman who took the bullet requires a lot of medical care. But, of course, she can't afford it since her asshole of a boss fired her.”

Ransom gulped, “I can hire her back. Say it was a moment of anger, a mistake that never should've happened.”

Steve stood and pulled up Ransom by the front of his sweater, forcing him to stand on his toes. “Do you remember,” Steve growled, “why we had to send Lloyd into exile?”

“Too many casualties?”

“Close. He viewed people as expendable. This family got started by helping others. Helping the Unions. Supporting the communities. So when you treat someone like that, you disrespect all of us.”

Steve let go of Ransom’s sweater, setting him on his feet. Without warning, he punched Ransom in the stomach so hard he doubled over.

“You are on notice,” Steve told him. “You've been straddling the line for some time now. But one more slip, and you're gone. Understood?”

Ransom coughed, “yeah, I get it.”

“And you don't have to hire her back. We got her a much better boss.”

Part 2

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[lightofraye]

I had this as an ask--I think the person was going around a bit to get some folks' input, which doesn't bother me. But I decided to grab the full screenshots and point to the part that had sparked a conversation among some folks. I even had a couple of followers ask for my thoughts.

Now... this did come up in a little group chat amongst me and a few others. We all have thoughts on it.

Oh I should probably go to the part I'm talking about. My bad.

The tweeter--HanmeiCui--tried to capture all that was said during Radio Company's little BBQ dinner during AustinCon. And folks were intrigued by Number 8.

"Fans asked him what he misses most about Texas and he said, I don't? I am still here all the time. I am here now, I was here a few weeks ago and then a few weeks before that. My whole family's still here my mom and dad are in Dallas I often visit them."

HanmeiCui also added: "So I kind of… I didn't catch what he said after that but I got the idea that he thinks of himself more like commuting, instead of permanently moved out."

Given he doesn't have any property (none that we have to officially verify ourselves with public records anyway) in Austin or Texas as a whole... FBBC is... something. Sold, not sold, either way, the brewery won't be back. Maybe a small taproom to keep incompetent brother-in-law Gino busy after he ran FBBC into the ground. Ahem. Yes, there is a house on the FBBC property but... near as we can tell, no one lives there.

The Ackles sold the rest of their properties--the condo, the lake house, etc. Also sold the Colorado condo.

Near as any of us could tell... no properties in Texas.

It had been largely assumed that if Jensen did visit his parents, it was likely without Danneel in tow. So if Jensen does visit often as he indicated, he may just be staying at a hotel, a friend's guest room (Steve does have a place in Austin), or the like.

I mean, Papa Ackles is 75 now. (Oh dang, his father is just a couple of years older than mine.) I imagine Jensen would want to see his parents a bit more. And for a while, he had the free time to do so.

A lot of folks have interpreted the statements in a few ways. One was a kind of professional "He's trying to keep the ol' boy Texan persona" going. Another was "Maybe he's trying to get re-established back in Texas without the wife." A third was "Maybe he has a place in secret in Texas"!

My thoughts?

I want to believe it's number two--getting re-established in Texas without the wife. (Come on, you know I'm an anti-Danneel. Why are you reading my stuff?) He's certainly made a few decisions this past year and a half that have me poking at the game board of life and going "Hmm...."

Such as his Social Media changing from a mix of family and business to strictly work posts (and frustrating his stans in the process, heh); such as Danneel going completely radio silent on her IG (but still commenting on others, hmm); such as selling all of FBBC without a new location in place; buying a mansion across the darn country and so far away from most of his friends and family; to seemingly abandoning CMP to Danneel to destroy.

There's still a few things we're not seeing. A few things we're not aware of. I could speculate until my face turned blue. For now, I'm content to sit and wait and observe the chess board.

[thirsty-lakedream]

After a long day of practice, the football team retired back to the lockers. The arid scent of sweat coming from the burly strong men filled the air. As the athletes freshened up and went along with their day, only two were left, cooling off; shooting like shit like normal. The first was the teams head linebacker Jensen and the second, his best bro and star quarterback of the team, Ryan.

The two jocks first met when they by chance got paired up as roommates in the freshman dorms. They’re synergy only heightened their football prowess. Thanks to that, they became the dynamic duo for the front liners. They’ve been inseparable since… well until Ryan broke the news.

A knock echoed from the locker room entrance. Jensen walked over and opened the door slightly ajar to see a lanky boyish latino standing there. “Oh uh, hey Mateo,” It was Ryan’s boyfriend. “What’s up?”

Looking evidently intimidated by the broad athlete, he he timidly spoke. “H-hey, I’m looking for Ryan. He asked me to meet him after practice.”

“Oh, yeah. Come on in.” Jensen pulled the door open to let him in. “Hey Ry, your- um, your… Mateo is here.” Though he wants to be supportive, Jensen still had his reservations. When Ryan came out to him he was shocked. All this time he never sensed the impression that his best bro was gay. He would always bring the hottest babes to their room, but was that all just a cover to his real wants?

When he laid on eye on his boyfriend, something clicked in Ryan’s eyes and he put on the warmest grin. “Teo, there you are babe!” The smaller guy walked over to where the football player was, sitting in his personal football cubby and climbed into his lap, teasing for a kiss. Ryan happily obliged pulling Mateo close, locking into a kiss.

Jensen tried to shy his eyes away. He was still adjusting to this new development, but whenever it was him and the two of them, the lovers couldn’t take their eyes and lips away from each other. It was especially awkward since the two got so lost into each other they were practically dry humping during their last hang in the frat house. It could also be cause of some slight jealousy. He wasn’t gay or anything, but he did miss spending quality bro-time. Maybe I should just give them some space, Jensen thought. “I’m gonna head out. I’ll just see you man.”

Ryan pulled away, to the dismay of Mateo. “Ok man I’ll catch you later!” Jensen walked out of the locker room.

He turned back to happily continue the make out section, but at the sound of the door shutting, Mateo climbed off of the man and rolled his eyes. “Finally I thought he’d actually stick around and we’d have to pull that grinding act again.”

“Oh come on, don’t you think that the intense PDA is making the guys too uncomfortable? We don’t want to ruin the real Ryan’s image.”

Mateo cruelly glared at the athlete. In a new mocking tone, he asked. “I’m sorry, are you actually questioning my plans?”

In response Ryan’s cool and confident smile demeanor crumpled. “N-no… sorry Mateo.”

“What did you call me?”

“Sorry, Sir”

Mateo coldly smiled. “That’s better. Do not forget who holds the power in this ‘relationship.’ Now back to business, what is your status on integrating into Ryan’s life.

“Well, everything appears to be fine. No one has suspected anything amiss.”

“Is that so?”

“As far as I’m aware, sir. I did as you told and continued to do the weekly calls with his mom and sister, and I’ve kept up both his grades and exercise regimen to a tee.”

Mateo took a moment to reply, but then simply asked. “What is Ryan’s moms name.” ‘Ryan’ hesitated to answer, which caused his partner to replayed. “His mother’s name, what is it?”

“Uhh I know this, it’s Ana, right?”

Mateo rolled his eyes, reaching out and pulling Ryan by the ear. “You idiot! It’s Amanda! What if that came up in conversation? You would have tipped anyone off immediately!”

“I’m sorry I’m sorry! I promise I will read the character notes you gave me again! I promise I will get it right next time!”

As ‘Ryan pleased, Mateo took note of something else. As he held onto Ryan, it looked as if his skin was stretching unnaturally, almost as it was being pulled away from his head. Pulling tighter, Mateo stretched Ryan’s face harder. From the offices of his eyes and mouth, paler skin much different then Ryan’s sun-touched complexion could be seen. “And let me guess, you haven’t been applying the glue like I instructed you.”

Ryan sounded so small and timid, “I-I’m sorry I forgot to do it the last couple days…”

Mateo let go of his boyfriend and walked over to his duffle. Digging through the sweaty gear he found what he was looking for, a long metallic tube of cream. Without hesitation, he squeezed a hardy dollop of goop into his hand and rubbed it vigorously onto the jocks face. Performing another experimental pull, Ryan’s face held rigid.

“You are really fucking this up. What would you have done if something happened during practice, or in the shower. How do you think those dumb jocks would react if their star players face distorted or came off, revealing some loser posing to be him, wearing his skin like some kind of costume?”

“I-I… I don’t know.”

“Now, is there anything else you want to confess to me before I find out later.”

Ryan bit his lip, but eventually admitted, “There was one little thing. I may have been talking to Jensen and gotten something wrong. Instead of remembering he has a sister, I asked about his brother… But I got him to believe it was a bad joke! I promise he doesn’t suspect a thing!”

Mateo simply rubbed his temple, trying to massage away the pounding headache “You’re on thin ice. Thin fucking ice.”

Ryan hesitated, before standing up. Using his large stature to try and intimidate Mateo, he barked aggressively. “I made some mistakes but I’m getting better, why don’t you get off my back.”

Mateo let out a sigh, turning away from the groveling man. “Do you know why I chose you for this job, Brian?”

At hearing his real name, the guy inside Ryan shuddered. “Umm, because you knew I would do anything for you.”

The Latino man scoffed, “The reason I chose you to put on Ryan and take over his life was because I knew as an actor, you’d be able to slip into the role seamlessly. Besides you even had a fairly convincing impression of the real Ryan. Clearly I was mistaken as your performance has been lackluster at best. What would stop me from taking you out of that suit and replacing you with someone else better suited for the job. I could even get them a voice changer and no one would notice a difference.” He pulled a small remote from his pocket. “One click of this and you will be ejected from Ryan’s suit, forced to go back to your sad, pathetic life as Brian. Just some gay loser no one wants or would ever want?”

Terrified by Mateo’s threat, Ryan fell to his knees, pleading to Mateo. “No please, anything but that! I’m so sorry please don’t take this away from me I promise i will do better, much better!” His voice sounding a bit off, now squeakier than his normal bravado.

Mateo hesitated, teasing his finger on the remotes button, before finally putting it back into his pocket. “Fine. I will give you one last chance. But listen to me… no more screw ups, no more forgetting to maintain the suit, got it? Let this be the last time we have to discuss it. After this, you are Ryan Griffin- my cocky quarterback boyfriend, but in private you are my loyal dumb servant.”

“Y-yes sir.”

“Repeat it,” Mateo demanded.

“I- I am Ryan Griffin, I am your cocky quarterback boyfriend, but in private I shall loyally serve you.”

A sinister smile crept on Mateo’s face. “Atta boy.” He placed his hand, caressing his dumb, stubbly cheek. “Now get changed cause your taking me out to dinner tonight.”

[agirlwithdemonblood]

The Celebrity Next Door: Chapter 5 - Crossroads of Feelings

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Chapter Summary: A little drinking and bonding has never hurt anyone right... Right?

Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!

It's been two weeks since I went to Jensen's for coffee, and since then, we've been growing closer. We meet up every few days for coffee and casual conversations about anything and everything, and the chemistry was defiantly building, with long gazes and subtle touches every so often, it felt like a slow burn.

I often spot Jensen walking down the street with his kids, and when he sees me, he waves, and I wave back. It was nice seeing him out and about, looking lighter and happier than when I first met him. It's all very neighbourly. Katie, his daughter, sometimes stops by when I'm checking the mail just to say hello. These small interactions have become a regular part of my routine.

But over the past few days, I've noticed less of Jensen. He'd wave when he saw me outside, but once he was back indoors, it felt like he vanished.

Well, not from my mind. Thoughts of him seemed to occupy my every moment, replaying his words and the way he said my name. It was frustrating because I found myself missing him. I didn't like being home without his presence nearby.

I started lingering longer at the office, arriving at 7:00 am and leaving at 6:00 pm. Even at home, I fought to keep myself busy with calls and contracts, trying to distract myself, to not depend on him, but nothing seemed enough.

I hated the affect he had on me already.

Today flew by faster than I wanted, and before I knew it, I was driving back to my quiet house as I did every evening. As much as I was starting to love my new life in LA, I missed having friends. I missed having people to talk to, to laugh with. Making friends here felt near impossible to me, and I didn't know where to begin.

Pulling into the driveway, I froze when I saw Jensen sitting on my porch, a bottle of wine in hand. What a nice surprise.

I smiled and stepped out of my car, making my way towards him. When he saw me, he stood up and greeted me warmly. "Y/N.. Any chance you'd like to have a drink?"

I laughed and nodded, moving to unlock my door and invite him inside. He looked around the house with genuine interest, as if he's never seen a house before, which warmed my heart.

"Wow, this place is beautiful." he commented.

I chuckled and shook my head at his compliment. "Jensen, you don't have to be polite. Compared to your house, this is just an apartment."

He shrugged with a smile. "Maybe, but mine doesn't feel like home. It's just walls and windows. Yours, though, it has this Y/N vibe all around."

"A Y/N vibe?" I repeated, amused. "I like that."

Grabbing the wine glasses, I returned to Jensen, noticing him studying a photograph on my wall. "This is cute. Who are all these people?"

I moved closer, the way his breathing hitched making me smile, "That's my dad, my mom, my sister Christina, and my other sister Stephanie, and of course me in the middle."

He smiled widely and nodded, "What a beautiful family."

Though it was a simple compliment, it meant the world to me. The word beautiful has never really been used to describe me, or my life.

"Thank you, Jensen. I haven't talked to them much since moving here, so it's been tough. But this picture always brings a smile to my face."

He frowned slightly, sipping his wine as he took another glance at the photo. "Why don't you visit them? Or have a housewarming party and invite them here?"

I laughed sadly as we moved to the couch, Jensen sitting beside me. "My parents aren't in the best financial situation so taking a flight would be hard on them, plus driving is like 41 hours so that's out."

His expression softened, eyes fixed on mine with an intensity that surprised me.

"My dad does odd jobs like painting and electric work," I explained, "My mom works at a local diner. They manage, but money's always tight. Even though their divorced, they still live together because neither one of them can move out. That's partly why I moved here, hoping to send them money to help out each month."

His expression was different than I've seen before, his eyes filled with admiration and tenderness, his usual charm replaced by a heartfelt sincerity that caught me off guard.

He was silent, and I started to feel like I said something wrong. I quickly gulped the rest of my drink and stood up from my spot, "I'm sorry, that was probably too much information. I didn't mean to turn this into a pity party."

His hand gently gripped mine, shaking himself out of his trance. "No, not at all. It's just... surprising to hear is all."

"Why?" I questioned, sitting back down beside him.

His hand remained on my arm, gaze locked on mine. "You're different from people around here. Kind, generous. I feel like people here are constantly expecting things; but you give. Like when you came to my place about Katie and the broken window, I half expected you to dance home thinking about a huge payday. That's how people usually are."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "I hate that. My parents never asked for money, and neither have I. When my window broke, I went straight to my boss to make sure you wouldn't have to pay."

He smirked, squeezing my hand. "Was it covered, though? You said it was."

I bit my lip nervously as my gaze dropped, "Doesn't really matter, right? It's fixed."

"Please tell me?" He asked softly.

I sighed and brought my gaze to his, smiling nervously. "It wasn't fully covered, actually. To file a claim, I needed your information. But I didn't know if many people knew you lived here, and I didn't want to expose you over a broken window."

Confusion flickered across Jensen's face as he looked down, his hand still holding mine. "But you didn't even know me. Why protect me, put me ahead of yourself?"

"It didn't matter who you were." I replied softly. "I wouldn't have asked for money. I only came to your house to make sure Katie got home safely; everything else was a surprise."

He froze, his eyes meeting mine with a mixture of passion and affection, his gaze drifting to my lips. His hand slowly moved to my cheek, causing my breath to hitch. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine, hands tangled in my hair.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer as we lost ourselves in each other. His knee moved between my legs and I shivered. He groaned against my lips when I scratched his back.

It felt like we were falling apart together, all our defences crumbling around us. We breathed each other in, falling into each other.

But then everything changed.

He pulled away from me unexpectedly, his expression filled with shock and fear as he looked down at me. "Shit, I... I'm sorry." he whispered.

Confusion and hurt blended in my chest. "You don't need to apologize."

He stood quickly, helping me to my feet and moving towards the door with regret in his eyes. "That wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't want that to happen."

His words hit me like a slap in the face, my heart sinking into my stomach, breath catching in my throat. "Oh... right. It was a mistake."

He halted, guilt engraved on his face. "Oh... no, Y/N, that's not—"

Forcing a smile, I opened the door for him, holding back tears threatening to spill over. "It's okay, Jensen. I should go to bed anyway. Have a good night, okay?"

He froze, shame evident on his face, trying to meet my eyes, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

I felt embarrassed for assuming we were on the same page, that there was something between us. Now, I was left with a broken heart and a bruised ego, wondering how I could ever face him after this.

Jensen walked away from Y/N's house with a knot of anxiety in his stomach. Guilt weighed heavily on him as he replayed the evening in his mind. He cared about her deeply, but it wasn't supposed to happen like that. He wanted to kick himself for not handing the situation better, for hurting someone who had been nothing but kind to him.

Back home, he paced the living room, unable to shake the feeling of regret. He knew he had hurt her, and the thought pained him. Y/N was special to him, different from anyone he had met since his divorce. She was genuine, caring and he felt a connection he hadn't felt in a very long time. Yet, that very connection scared him.

He ran his hand through his hair, and sighed. He couldn't stop thinking about her, her warmth, her smile, and the way she had opened up with him in a way that nobody had since his life became a whirlwind of schedules and public apperances.

He grabbed his phone several times, fingers hovering over her contacting, wanting desperately to reach out and apologize, but each time, he hesitated, unsure of what to say or if she even wanted to hear from him.

As he got into bed, he made the decision to give her some time and than make things right. He wanted to explain everything, apologize for how he handled the situation and for hurting her, hoping that when he did, she would understand but the fear of losing her was anxiety inducing, he didn't want to lose the one person who made him feel alive again.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 6 coming soon stay tuned!

Like, comment, and reblog, feedback is my fuel 💕

[lol-jackles]

What are your thoughts on Clif Kosterman? He seems like a real leech to me, and he’s ALWAYS around Jared - it feels creepy. He calls himself “Bodyguard,” and while I don’t doubt he has had experience in this, and probably could help to defend J2 if needed, I know that’s not his official role with Jared now. If he really was a real bodyguard to him, I doubt he’d have an IG account and be posting about all their adventures all the time - being a real bodyguard means being invisible in general. And if he truly is a leech, why on Earth would Jared keep him around? And Anson, Stands, and Charlie too for that matter? I know it’s a lot of speculation and gossip, but I’m wondering also from a business perspective. Shouldn’t support staff be more invisible instead of, well, in our faces? Do you think Jared may be too trusting, despite the fact that he seems to be very business-savvy? Thank you in advance!

Cliff is no real bodyguard, you have to go to actual bodyguard/security school for that.  Have you ever been to conventions?  They have real security detail to escort Jared and Jensen around, these security men are young, buffed, and silent.  And of course real bodyguards never NEVER give out pictures and locations of their charges; in another country they would be shot for that.  

Cliff was a driver and a glorified baggage handler hired by WB. He calls himself a (fake) bodyguard because it sounds better than driver. J2 need a driver because the network doesn’t want them to drive himself home after 12 or 14 hours on the set.  Cliff wasn't the original driver, that was Bob. There was an altercation and Bob abandoned Jensen by the side of the road, threw the car keys at Cliff, and said, "it's all yours".

Cliff reports back to WB, which is why he posted on social media of J2 and the locations, to show WB he’s on the job and the Padaleckis and Ackles are reminded to behave.  There was one famous story of Jared at some music festival and managed to ditch Cliff and took off. Cliff was probably trying to hit on a drunk girl before he realized Jared was missing and went looking for him.  Cliff was pissed over losing Jared.  No idea how long it took for him to find the wayward actor.

Handlers are supposed to be invisible to the public, but in J2′s case, visibility was “necessary” because it was before Jared or Jensen got their social media accounts, so Cliff served to some capacity as their social media gatekeeper by shuttng down fake Js tweeters and speaking on their behalf, allegedly.  Like the infamous coin toss to get fans to vote in the PCA for Jensen but conveniently does not include video of the said coin toss with the Js’ alleged witnessing and approval of the result. Once the J2 got their own social media accounts, Cliff had to step back publicly, and he did to some extent.  To make up his waning influence, WB rewarded Cliff a vendor table at the lucrative SPN conventions. Those vendor space are highly coveted and vendors line up and wait for years to get a chance at the SPN convention. Cliff started his own merch line called “Cliff hangers” that he sells at Creation cons. 

Since SPN ended, Cliff no longer serves as official driver. I think he's a bit of a charity case for the Padaleckis.

Have you heard the quote "better the devil you know than the devil you don’t". Meaning it’s better to deal with a someone you already know than with a new person that could be worse.

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 3

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: If you read my Christmas Advent stories then you may be familiar with this story already, however, I've been working hard to turn it into a longer fic and as such a few things have changed (hence the reposts). New chapters will commence next week. I hope you enjoy! Let me know if you want me to be added to the taglist

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Jensen and I continue texting whenever we can around our busy schedules. I consider more than a few times over the weekend to throw caution to the wind and meet up with him in his hotel room or invite him to my apartment. But in the end, I manage to stay strong, stick to my convictions and better judgements regarding my safety, and text instead. Despite not having the courage to call, it feels like we’re building a connection. But even if I had the courage, he’s been pretty busy and the texts have been sporadic with replies coming in hours apart. He did say he had to work, so I just figure he’s busy with auditions or meetings and am grateful for him making the time to text amidst the chaos. 

One thing I do is Google his name to find out what he’s starred in. His biggest project appears to be a horror show called Supernatural. I consider watching it just to see, but I don’t want to get a false idea of who he is, so I decide to stay blissfully ignorant and try to get to know him for who he is as a person instead. He did say he preferred that, after all.

It’s almost dark when I finally strip off my apron and hang it on the hook in the staff room. I collect my phone and jacket from the locker and return to the dining area to leave. I check my missed notifications as I walk out. I find my mood dropping slightly when I discover there’s none from Jensen. Instead, I scroll through our last text-chain. Suddenly, I collide with something solid–or perhaps I should say, someone, causing my phone to shatter to the floor. I quickly duck down to inspect the screen, only to find it littered with cracks. I sigh and then remember the person I ran into. I look up to apologise but lose all words when I meet his emerald eyes. I just smile in shock. Even with his pulled-down baseball cap and dark sunglasses, and after a single meeting, I instantly recognise him.

“You really gotta stop running into me like this,” the man says with a laugh.

“Can I buy you a drink to make up for it?”

“As I recall, that didn’t end well. Regardless, I can’t stay long, I do have a flight to catch. I just really wanted to see you again before I left.”

“You sure you can’t stay?”

“I’m sure. Someday. Let’s just promise to stay in touch.”

“I promise. At least just let me make you something for the road.”

“You look like you’ve already finished for the day. Go rest. You look exhausted. We’ll talk later.”

“Alright. Have a safe flight.”

He pulls me in for a brief hug and then disappears out onto the street and into a dark Range Rover. I smile at the whirlwind visit and then go back to my apartment. I throw a microwave mac and cheese dinner in to cook while I shower and change into my worn-out PJs, which consist of an oversized sweater with a teddy on the front and pink, plaid flannel pants. I’m not sure how long his flight will be but by the time I sit on the couch with my cheap and unappealing dinner in my lap, over an hour has passed. Despite not knowing when he’ll see the message, I decide to text him anyway.

It was great to run into you again *literally*... I am sorry about that, I really need to watch where I’m going Have a nice flight home or wherever you’re going Text me when you get there 

Not expecting a response until later, I put your phone to sleep and flick through the TV channels. To my surprise, Supernatural is airing. I have no idea what episode or season it is, or what they’re up to, but when Jensen’s face appears on the screen I’m unable to bring myself to change the channel. Despite my initial desire to stay ignorant, I just can’t look away. I gasp and try to resist the urge to look away when his character, who you’ve gathered is called Dean, slices off someone or something’s head. But somehow he manages to make decapitation attractive. Every expression on his face keeps my eyes glued and I find myself getting even more engrossed. He tells the story so well even though I don’t really know what the full story is. His taller brother in the show is also incredibly attractive. The longer I watch, the more I find myself not caring about the plot and just enjoying the eye candy instead. Part of me feels a little guilty for looking and thinking about Jensen like that when he seems like such a nice, genuine guy in real life. And he genuinely seems interested in pursuing a friendship — or hopefully more — in the future. 

Once the episode ends I force myself to switch off the TV, clean up and go to bed; I have another early shift tomorrow. As I lay in bed, the images of Dean – or Jensen – flow through my head. Unable to sleep, Idecide to text him again.

I guess you’re still on your flight Just wanted to let you know I saw you on TV tonight Your show Supernatural was on when I was flicking through the channels Can’t say as I picked up on a lot of the plot but I can see why the paparazzi follow you Anyway, I’ll stop bombarding you now Good night

I force myself to switch my phone onto sleep mode and plug it in to charge. As I lay in bed, I relive the impromptu meeting until I finally fall asleep.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2

[jawritter]

Something About Fate...

Chapter 1

Summary:  Y/N has been homeless and living on the streets of Dallas, Texas since the start of Covid. Until one day, a handsome, green eyes strange notices her and turns her whole world upside down.

Warning: Homelessness, fear of sex trafficking, brief mention of past relationship. Brief mention of almost assualt.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader (eventually). 

Word Count: 2700

A/N: This series is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This series will contain mature content eventually, and therefore is unsuitable for persons under 18 years of age! Anyone under the age of 18 will be blocked for my blog! Thanks so much for reading! I hope you all enjoy this series!

Main Masterlist                  Series Masterlist 

Y/N shivered as she pulled the thin jacket she was wearing closer to her small, underweight body. She watched in silence as the people on the street passed by her from her spot in front of the streetlamp where she sat cross legged, with her paper cup in front of her. Some would glance at her, sometimes in disgust with judgment plastered all over their faces. Some would even go as far as to actively take a step away from her to put some distance between them. Other, more kind people, would drop a few coins into her cup, most of the time with barely a glance at her. 

If she was lucky, she might even have enough money to get a sandwich from the little shop she sat just across from tonight; at least, that was the goal. Then she would wander down to the park and break into the splash pad bathroom to shower in what was surely going to be a painfully cold shower, but even though she was homeless, and currently begging to eat every day, she was going to at least be clean as she could manage anyway. 

She only owned a backpack full of belongings, some of which contained two changes of clothing, and on Tuesdays, she’d sacrifice eating her one meal a day to go to the laundromat and do her washing. Today was Monday, so if she didn’t want to not be able to eat for the next two days as opposed to one, tonight would have to be the night that she collected enough to get her a sub that she might be able to stretch for a few days. Which meant she had to hope and pray she could gather up enough coins to go and get something before they closed at 8 pm, it was already 6, and she was running out of time. During the winter months though, it was harder because there was already less traffic on the streets than normal, and right after the holidays, people were exceptionally tight with their money, and therefore, she missed a lot more days of eating than she cared to admit. 

This wasn’t always life for Y/N. At one time, she had a job, she had an apartment of her own, she’d even planned to go to college to become a nurse. Then, covid struck, and the man she thought loved her left her for another, prettier woman, or at least that’s what the dick had told her. She lost her roommate at that point, and then covid came, and she lost her job too. The world shut down around her. No one was hiring, no one was open. She fell into a downward spiral she couldn’t come up from, and now, here she was, living on the streets, begging money from people to eat more than once a week if she was lucky. 

It wasn’t that she wasn’t hirable, it was more the fact that when you fill out a job application and have no place to put down as a permanent address, it’s a red flag for businesses. They immediately don’t want to hire you, no matter how great your credentials are. 

She wasn’t addicted to drugs or alcohol the way some where that lived on the same streets she did, and she quickly learned that a halfway house for women wasn’t safe when she was almost assaulted twice, once by another homeless person, then again by someone that worked for them at the shelter. But of course, who was going to believe her? 

No one, the answer was no one. 

She’d learned a long time ago that it did no good to cry, even though tonight it was hard not to do. Crying didn’t change things. 

A crack of thunder sounded overhead, and she sighed heavily as she heaved herself upward, and made the decision to move over to the side of the building where the overhang would protect her from the impending rain at least a little. She knew this was a dangerous move, because if some customers complained about her presents, the owner may would come out and make her move, but she had to try, this was the last night she’d be able to eat for a few days, and she was starving. 

Lucky for her, no one seemed to notice her sitting there that cared enough to turn her in, at least, they didn’t seem to, and she did get a few more people drop a few dimes into her cup. She almost had enough, she just needed one dollar’s worth of change, and she’d be able to eat, and then go and take her frigid shower before trying to find somewhere to sleep for the night. Somewhere dry preferably; maybe under the overpass off of I-10 even if the wind was terribly cold under there. 

A large group of people heading down the sidewalk interrupted her planning, and she looked up to see some well-dressed men, accompanied by a shorter, thinner, redheaded woman walking her way, and she quickly sank back into the building’s exterior as best as she could to give them some room, and also make herself look as small as possible. It was quite obvious that this group had money. They were dressed too well. Usually, well-off people didn’t like homeless people, and Y/N feared that they would have her tossed away from her meal, especially since the tall, breathtakingly handsome, green eyed one seemed to be unable to keep himself from openly staring at her as they walked past. He little slower than his counterpart who seemed to not notice her at all as they walked into the establishment where, she watched them all make their order through the window, sighing in relief when they didn’t seem to be talking to the cashier about her. 

She noticed that the handsome, green-eyed man sat on the end of the booth they were all sitting at once they placed their order, allowing the woman that was with them the safer seat against the wall. She wished she knew what it was like to have someone like that protecting her. God he was handsome. Tall, thick in all the right places. His features were striking. A strong jaw accented by just the right amount of facial hair, and if she looked hard enough at him, she could almost see a light dusting of freckles on his face. The man was a walking, living, breathing work of art; something beautiful in the dark and cold world that she lived in. 

Suddenly, as if he could feel her looking at him, his astonishing green gaze turned and met hers. For a moment, she thought she saw a flash of something cross his handsome face. Sadness? Pity maybe? But whatever it was, it disappeared fast, and he was on his feet, making his way on long, bowed legs to the cashier that was leaning against the counter, texting on her phone. 

A deep rock dropped into the pit of her stomach, and she bit back the tears as she slowly started to gather her things. Surely, he was going to ask her to be moved like all rich men did. Which meant that he may have been an Adonis on the outside, but on the inside, he was just as cold and ugly as everyone else in his status. Then again, maybe she was just that cursed, and it had nothing to do with what men seemed to think of her at all.

The door chimed behind her as it open, and she scrambled faster to dump the change she’d collected into her bag to hide it there, when she noticed the same dark jeans that the man was wearing inside the shop kneel down in front of her in the corner of her vision, and she froze terrified as to what was to come from him. 

“Hi,” he greeted her, and shivered against the wind that billowed through the now suddenly, impressively empty street. 

Y/N kept her eyes on the ground, holding her breath, unsure as to what might happen next, she was too scared to run, and honestly, he’d probably be able to grab her before she could even get away. 

“Are you hungry?” he questioned, keeping his deep voice as soft as possible as he offered her a wrapped sub gingerly, and her stomach rolled loudly as she looked at his freckle dusted hand; giving her away so that she was unable to deny her situation at hand. 

“Take it honey, it’s okay,” he pressed, and she reached for the sandwich with shaking hands, half expecting him to jerk it away at the last minute and laugh, but he didn’t do that to her surprise. He just let her take it from him with the same sad look on his face as he’d had when he’d passed her earlier while he watched her unwrap it with trembling fingers. 

She mumbled a quiet, “thank you.”

Before another word could escape his perfect, pink lips, the door to the establishment opened once more, and this time, a taller, thinner man was at the door, along with the short, red-haired woman. 

“Hey Jay, Felisha needs to go back to the hot–,” the man blurted out, stopping in his tracks when he saw that his friend, ‘Jay’ was crouched down in front of the homeless girl that loitered the side of the building, and Y/N could have sworn a slight panic crossed his features. “Is—is everything okay?” He questioned him, and the man in front of her just nodded, not taking his eyes off of Y/N, who was now cowering slightly under his sharp gaze, and away from the man that had just come out of the door. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine, you guys go ahead,” he said, reaching out to take the sandwich the man at the door offered him, “I’ll catch up to you guys.”

“Jensen,” the woman, Felisha said, taking a tentative step forward, but Jensen, which was apparently the handsome man’s name, and ‘Jay’ was just a nickname, held his hand up to stop her as Y/N slid back a little further on against the wall away from the three of them, suddenly, she felt trapped. 

She’d heard of sex traffickers capturing younger, or young, women on the streets, and suddenly, she was afraid this was just that. 

“No, you’re scaring her,” Jensen voiced in an authoritative tone, and his friends took a step backward to give them some room. “You two go on back to the convention. I’ll meet you there, I promise, I just wanna make sure she’s okay.”

The tall man wrapped his arm around the woman’s shoulders and nodded at his friend before they both started back towards where they’d came from, leaving her alone with Jensen, and Felisha looking back over her shoulder as they went, concern etched deep in her pixie-like features. 

Jensen then did something that shocked the hell out of her. Instead of grabbing her, which is what she expected him to do, he plopped himself down on the wall next to her and began to open his own food. 

“What’s your name sweetheart?” he questioned, and Y/N just looked at him like a deer caught in headlights. It had been so long since someone asked her that question, a simple, ‘what’s your name,’ that she had to think about it herself. 

Had she really been out here so long that she’d forgotten her own identity? 

“Y/N,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the rain that broke loose overhead, and the loud crack of lightning that followed, causing Jensen to look away from her for a moment, and up towards the angry, dark sky. 

“I’m Jensen,” he said, keeping his voice calm and low, probably to try and keep from scaring her again. 

Personally, Y/N was still trying to figure the man out. Why the hell would this God of a man sitting down in the dirty street to eat his sandwich next to a homeless girl? Much less introduce himself after asking her name? Was he dangerous, should she run?

As if Jensen sensed her sudden extreme fear and apprehension, he slid a little closer to her, blocking a little of the blistering cold wind and rain with his broad back and shoulders before he continued. 

“How long have you been living like this Y/N?” he asked, taking another large bite of his food, which reminded her that she had her own in her hand. 

He couldn’t be that horrible. Maybe he was just an eccentric rich guy who just like to talk to homeless people? He couldn't be that bad if he was being this nice, could he? Surely if he was part of some sex trafficking ring, they would have grabbed her and made off with her by now, right?

“Almost three years,” she answered him, looking down and flinching away from the flash of lightning that lit up the street in front of them. Jensen even flinched himself this time. She knew before long, they would both have to get off the street and find shelter somewhere. Which meant she would probably never see the handsome stranger again, and that made her heart ache just a little. He was the first person in so long to show her any kindness. She hated to see him leave, even if he might be a weird sereal killer or something. At this point she’d take what she could get. 

“Damn,” he murmured, a look of what she thought might be disgust crossing his face, and shame flooded her, causing her to look down at her lap in order to keep from crying. 

Crying did no good. There was no point in crying. 

Jensen’s phone rang in his pocket, and he quickly silenced it, not even bothering to look and see who was calling him, most likely it was his friends that had left him there with her. 

Jensen looked up the street at the falling rain, and then back to Y/N’s trembling form before he stood slowly, a heartbroken look in his deep green eyes as he reached out a hand to her, determination taking control of his face, and she just stared back at him as if he’d lost his mind. 

“Come on honey, it’s freezing out here, and it’s pouring, please come back to the hotel with me. I know that sounded terrible, like I’m some sort of pervert or something, but I swear I’m not,” he said, pulling a tag that said Creation Entertainment Supernatural Convention, from his back pocket and showing it to her. “My hotel is less than a block from here. I’m here for the convention, Dallas is my hometown, I’m from here. I’m not just some freak. I can’t leave you out here in this, I just can’t. I swear I’ll not lay a finger on you. I just can’t leave you alone and cold here in the rain.”

Y/N’s chest tightened as panic, and some other emotion she wasn’t sure of gripped her tight around the throat and threatened to choke her. She knew then, she had a choice to make. She could either turn down the handsome stranger, watch him walk away back to his job, leaving her to live in the squalor she found herself in, maybe survive another day…

Or she could take this man by the hand and leave with him to the hotel he was staying at, and leave this mess behind her for even just a night…

Worst case scenario, he would kill her and dump her body in a dumpster behind the place he was staying when he was done doing God knows what to her. It was a fate she knew would probably happen to her eventually if she kept living the life she was living, she wasn’t an idiot. 

She was pretty certain that he wasn’t a sex trafficker, or else he wouldn't have the badge he had shown her to get into the convention. 

Maybe he just wanted a good time for a night, and thought she was an easy pick up for some sick reason? Would that really be so horrible? So what if she had to sleep with him to stay the night? At least he was attractive and seemed nice. Surely he’d let her take a shower and sleep on the floor of a warm, dry hotel room, that was more than she could ask for… Even if he did kill her, what did she have to lose?

Jensen watched as she debated within herself, patient, the rain beginning to dampen his jacket and perfectly placed brown hair, but he never moved a muscle, just looked at her with the most pleading eyes she’d ever seen. 

Slowly, still somewhat unsure of her own fate, she reached up and took his warm, massive hand, and he helped her to her feet. 

There was no going back now, either way, she’d just sealed her fate…

“Come on darlin,” he said, slipping his jacket from his massive shoulders and over her own thin frame, not caring that the rain pelted against his side as he slowly started to guide her towards the massive hotel off in the distance. “Let's get you dry and cleaned up.”

Forever:

@samanddeaninatrenchcoat

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Jensen and Dean’s Babes

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SAF tag list

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@thefemalestorywriter

@tapedeck-hearts​

[k-slla]

Hello, goodbye.

A/N: This is my second post for @jacklesversebingo / All mistakes are mine

Square filled: Break-Up

Warnings: Angst, mentions of alcohol, language, cheating, hurt, tiny bit of fluff/comfort

Word count: ~3.5k

My Masterlist

Staring at the bottom of your almost empty tea cup, you waited for Jensen to come home. You grabbed your phone again from the table to send him another text but ended up throwing it on the couch because your previous messages, sent yesterday around noon were left on read by him.

"Hey, babe! I know you're going to board the plane soon, but call me when you land. Miss you!❤️"

Few hours later followed by next one.

"Hey, you haven't called yet:( I know you should be home by now..I'll finish up work in a minute, see you soon!"

And before these were even more calls and messages. More "I miss you's", "Can't wait to see you's" & "Love you's". All went to voicemail or were just left on read. He's just busy, you had tried to reason this silence on his part so far. But when you got home yesterday evening, he was not there. Probably his flight got delayed or phone battery ran out you had thought but as the hours passed, you felt that it was something else. Never has he ignored you or been radio silent for this long. Another full day had passed, without him contacting you. And now you were getting more anxious by the minute. Jared should probably know where Jensen is, right? You wanted to call him but it was already past midnight so you settled on sending him a text. Maybe they went for a drinks and he forgot to tell you. Unlikely, but still a possibility.

You dragged yourself to the kitchen to make another tea, so you could try to get some sleep. While waiting for the kettle, you sent another text to him.

"Jensen, where are you? I'm worried. Call me."

You let out a frustrated sigh and cursed yourself for being such a nervous mess. You decided to ditch the tea and go straight to bed instead. You were certain that his flight was just delayed, which wouldn't exactly explain him ignoring your messages but you were probably just overthinking about everything as always.

You had no idea how long you had been asleep but when you woke up hearing the front door closing, light was dimly shining in through the blinds. Confused, you sat up in bed and looked for your phone. Almost 10am. Jared had sent two messages.

"Sorry, he's not with me:( trying to call now"

"Couldn't reach him, please let me know when he's home"

You could hear Jensen's heavy footsteps downstairs but decided to stay in bed. Mostly to see if he'd come upstairs to wake you. But he didn't, so you threw on a pair of fluffy slippers and a sweater and went downstairs. The smell of fresh coffee hit you as soon you opened the bedroom door.

You tried to stay mad at him longer, for making you worry but when you heard him humming in the kitchen, you couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. He sat at the island with his back towards you, so that gave you a perfect chance to sneak up on him. You hugged him from behind and he flinched.

"Jesus!" He quietly muttered under his breath. "Nope, just me. I missed you!" You whispered into his ear and kissed his stubbly cheek. "You scared me. I thought you were working today. Didn't see your car out." He sounded almost disappointed.

"Sorry." You smiled apologetically. " Didn't I told you that I'm taking the weekend off? We can spend it together before you have to go back." You turned around to pour yourself some coffee. "Did you your flight got delayed? I thought you were coming home on Thursday."

While you were searching for creamer from the fridge, you didn't notice Jensen tensing up at your question. You grabbed your cup and sat down across from him, looking at him questionably. 

"No, it's just- I-" he started evasively. " I just needed some time alone." You stared at him in disbelief. "What?" You asked laughing half-heartedly. "Jensen, we haven't seen each other for two months and you needed more time alone?"

"Did I do or say something?" You asked after a minute of trying to process what he told you. "You've been almost completely ignoring me for the past weeks. Actually it seems like few months even. I feel like-" You reached for his hand across the table but he pulled back. "I feel like I'm losing you."  He took a deep breath in and leaned back in his chair. "I thought- hoped actually- that you were working today, so I could figure it out how to tell you." Your breathing quickened. "Tell me what?"

Jensen looked straight into your eyes. "I'm going to file for a divorce." The coldness in his gaze and tone cut deep. You got confused for a second and squared you shoulders, forcing back tears, that were threatening to spill. You did not expect that. "But what- I mean why? Because I started talking more about having kids?" You had hoped the timing was right for the two of you to start trying at least. You had been together for over five years, married close to two now. Of course you wanted to have kids with him one day.

"I wanted to start family too but- " he stopped, looking for the right words. "I guess people change."

You scoffed. People change. People do change, but it doesn't happen almost overnight like this.

Your thoughts started to run now in one direction only. You were kicking and cursing yourself internally for allowing you even think this. "Is there someone else?" You asked, not really wanting to know the answer. Jensen's face turned stoic. "Does it matter? It's not gonna change anything." He shrugged. Anger was already slowly boiling inside you and that was the last straw.

"Of course it fucking matters, Jensen! If you're cheating on me, the least you could do is to man up and tell the truth." You snapped poisonously, got up from the chair and turned around to leave the kitchen.

"Fuck me." He muttered quietly and called after you bit louder. "Okay. Yes, I cheated on you. There. Do you feel better now?" He asked, sarcasm in his voice unmissable.

You immediately felt sick to your stomach. You turned around to face him again. "Do I feel better? Are you serious?" You were truly astounded and didn't even know how to react to his confession. You couldn't stay there anymore. You walked out of the room and tears finally broke loose. Jensen got up from his chair to follow.

"No! Just leave me alone. Please. I can't do this right now. I'll get out of here and-" you let out a sharp breath "-go to, I don't know, to Elaine's or something. "

"Of course.." he whispered. "Y/N, come on. Don't act like you're without blame here. You-" You cut into his sentence.

"How could you even say that? What did I do for you to go and cheat on me?" You hissed back at him and entered your bedroom. Jensen followed and sat on the bed, as he stared after you walking into the closet and pulling out a suitcase. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Please. Come sit down." You ignored him and started to pack your clothes. "I'll get rest of my stuff next week." You sniffled. "When you're back at work or something."

You folded your clothes sloppily and refused to look at him when he joined you in there. This was not the weekend you had imagined when he said he'll be coming back home. You were excited to finally see him again and just be together and do nothing. You had missed your husband for a long time. Apparently, he did not miss you. You quickly wiped the tears away, when Jensen came to stand behind you and put his hands on your shoulders to turn you around. "Please, Y/N. I want to talk about this. To explain."

Trying to calm yourself down, you looked straight into his eyes. "Okay. Talk."

"No. Come sit down." He nodded to the bed. He tried to guide you towards the bed but you shrugged off his hand and sat down on the bed. Leaning against the headboard, you pulled your knees to your chest. Two of you sat there for few minutes before Jensen started talking. "I really don't know how else to say it. And I don't expect you to believe but I didn't mean to hurt you this way. I'm sorry." His voice was quiet.

"I'm sorry I was such an asshole before. You just caught me off guard and I didn't know how to react."

You still couldn't wrap your mind around it. What went wrong with the two of you? "You're right. I don't believe you. You do not sleep with someone by accident. I'd try to understand- "

"Y/N, I-" You raised one hand to stop him. "No, Jensen, let me talk please. I'd try to understand you if it was just about having kids. I'd try to somehow accept it. But cheating? This was something you chose to do. And this probably wasn't a one time thing either, right?" His silence gave you the answer to your question. You nodded knowingly. "That's what I thought. You did this over and over. While I waited for you at home. Alone. Do you really think your apology will make me feel better?" You took a deep breath, silent tears were rolling down your cheeks again. Last few months had been especially hard without him. Work had gotten crazy with your boss demanding more and more from you. Yes, you had your friends and sister you kept in contact with regularly, but still at nights you felt alone.

 "Is that why you're leaving me? To move on with someone new?" You noticed Jensen tearing up. But still he didn't answer. "Jensen, please. Why can't you just tell me?" He said nothing so you got back up to finish packing. You didn't see the need to sit there and wait for him to answer. "Fine. You say you want to talk, but still won't talk to me, so I'll just go." You threw few more items from the closet into the suitcase and closed it up.

"Y/N, this is your home. You don't have to leave." He finally spoke up. "Well, I can't stay here either." You walked to the bathroom to pack some toiletries. This time Jensen didn't follow you. You closed the door and sat down on the floor. You felt a pressuring pain on the back of your head, but tried to think through it, to figure out your next steps. Of course you didn't want to actually leave, but staying in the house you and Jensen worked hard on to turn into home, would've been even harder. So you chose the easier of the two.

With a deep breath, you pulled out your phone and dialed your sister's number. She has always been very protective over you, so you knew, if you'd tell her about Jensen on the phone, she'd be over in a heartbeat to kick his ass. And he wasn't worth troubling her that much. "Hey, El. Are you busy this weekend?" You tried to sound cheerful, but you couldn't even convince yourself so she'd definitely see through it. "Hey! Not too busy. Why?" She sounded worried already. "I got an awesome idea, involving you, me, bottle of rosé and probably us passing out on your couch. How's that sound?"

She laughed at your proposal. "Definitely have time for that! What's up? Boy troubles?" You sighed and tried to compose yourself. "You could say that." She groaned loudly.

For some reason Jensen and Elaine always had some kind of beef between them. They managed to remain somewhat civil around you but when you were alone with either of them, they just couldn't hold back on straight on bitching about the other. Which was the main cause of your headaches for the past years and made the family gatherings rather uncomfortable. Well, two less things for you to worry about now.

"Do I have come over and kick his ass? Because you know I would."  She said this jokingly, but you knew that there was some truth hidden there. "No! I'll be over soon. See you!"

"Oh, he really messed up this time, huh?" She asked and followed it up quickly. "Well, bring snacks then!"  There was a short pause on the line. "And more wine. Maybe some cake? I'll do the counseling, I think I'll deserve some afterwards."

"Of course. Thank you. Alright, see you soon." You said quietly.

You ended the call and reality pulled you back in. Talking with Elaine always calmed you down. Made you forget your problems, even if just for a moment. You sighed deeply and got up to now actually pack up some necessities.

Few minutes later you stood at the bathroom door, staring at Jensen, sitting on the bed, head down in his hands. You wanted nothing more right now than to just get out of the house. But there was still one question that needed to be answered. You sat down next to him and took one of his hand into yours. "Please look at me." You turned his face gently towards you.

You wanted to stay mad at him.

Scream at him.

Punch him for hurting you this way.

But looking at him, you just couldn't. "It'd be probably better for me not to ask but I need to know this, Jensen. How long were you having the affair for, before you told me?" You looked into his eyes and waited for the band-aid to be ripped. But nothing could've prepared you for this.

 "I'm really really sorry, Y/N. I realize that it doesn't have any worth to you anymore but still I hope you know that I am." He said turning his body towards you. You remained silent and waited for him to continue. "But I- it started just after New Years." You pulled away your hands. You knew you should've let it go. "So almost for a year you came home to me like nothing was wrong?" You asked shakily and let out a sharp breath. Your ears started ringing. He really is an amazing actor, you thought to yourself.

You didn't know whether to cry or be relieved that the truth was out. Now there was nothing holding you back from leaving. You stood up and so was up again the wall around you. The wall that took Jensen forever to break down in the first place. "Ahem, so, uh-" you had trouble finding the words. "I think I've heard what I needed to- you know..move on, I guess." A forced smile grew on your face that didn't reach your eyes. "You can send whatever the papers you need me to sign to my workplace." You took your things and walked out of the room.

Looking around in the living room, you realized how much you're actually going to miss this house. All the memories of the late night trips to the hardware stores during fixing up the house came back to you. You were definitely more of a distraction than help for Jensen at that time. But the arguments over the tone of the flooring and style of the kitchen cabinets resulted usually in hot make up sex in the shower. Which you felt was really your only purpose of picking those fights with him. These memories brought a sad smile onto your lips. Now you refused to call this home, because your home was Jensen. And you didn't have him anymore.

"Are you sure you're not staying here? I'm leaving in two days. You can have the house." He had followed you so quietly, you almost didn't notice him standing behind you.

"No, the house is not what I want." You laughed unhumorously and turned around to face him. Jensen pulled you into a tight hug and just held you close. And you let him do just that.

Everything still seemed as you were in a bad dream. All you wished right now was to wake up. But there was nothing to wake up from. As the realization dawned on you, you almost broke down again. Pushing your face into his chest, you desperately tried to hold yourself together. Leaving him is be the hardest thing you've had to do.

Focus, Y/N, you can cry when you're out of here, you tried to talk yourself down. Put on a brave face in front him, so he wouldn't see how broken you actually are.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and kissed the top of your head.

You took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Yeah, I'm sorry, too." After giving him a last hug, you pulled away from him. "I want to hate you right now, Jensen. So much." You laughed lightly through your words. "But I don't think I'll be able to, not before I stop loving you." He gave you a sympathetic look, and you saw that he was hurting too. You stroked his cheek gently. "And I will always love you." You stood up on your toes and pressed a kiss on his lips for the last time. With a heavy sigh you turned away to grab your purse, coat and car keys. "I want the best for you. Truly." You said standing on the door. With a one last look at him, you smiled and stepped out of the house.

Before going to Elaine's, you did a quick stop at a grocery store. Today you felt like not giving a damn, you will get drunk with your sister this afternoon. You picked up more wine and sweet and savory snacks, cake and some fruit. Definitely too much food for the two of you.

"Someone's having a party, huh?" Cashier asked you with a smile on her face.

"Oh, yeah, mhmm, big party tonight."

After packing up your groceries, you dialed El's number again.

"Hey, just got out of store. Be there in 10."

"Alrighty, should I find some glasses for us?" What a dumb question.

"Don't ask stupid questions and come outside to help me with things."

Little while later, two of you were sitting on the couch. "So. Talk to me, Y/N." She snuggled in closer to you. You swirled wine around in the glass and stared into nothing. "Jensen and I are divorcing." You didn't want to look at her and she waited silently for you to continue. "But hey- it's a well known fact that half of marriages end in divorce so-" You tried to lighten your mood but failed miserably at that. "I guess we were just on the wrong side of that equation."

She took the wine glass from you and put both on the table.

"Come here, sweetie." She pulled you into tight embrace as both of you laid on the couch. "I know that's yet another stupid question from me but how are you feeling? Honest answers only."

"Hurt. Disappointed. Sad. I just want to be angry with him, but I can't." You sat up. "He- he found someone new, you know? Well.. He didn't exactly say that but I guess so." Elaine huffed angrily. "He cheated on you?" You nodded silently and topped up your glasses. You could only imagine what was going through her head in that moment. Certainly she'd want to say "I told you so". You waited for any kind of reaction from her, so you sat there in a silence for a while, until she spoke again. "That lying piece of sh-" You interrupted your sisters swearing. "Stop. No, he's really not that." You said smiling sorrowfully.

"Why are you so calm about this? I'd be livid right now. Hell, I am! He betrayed you."

"If he feels like he's happier with someone other than me, then I won't stand in his way." You said quietly. "It hurts like hell, but I won't be some petty ass bitch to him because of that. I just don't have it in me." She laughed at you. "Yeah, you don't. I'd probably be keying his car right now."

You sighed, feeling the light buzz from the wine starting to take over you. "I thought getting drunk with you would make me feel better but what I really want right now, is to sleep. For a week at least. I just can't think of anything else right now."

She got up from the couch, reaching her hand out to you. "Come."

"What? Where?" Your brows furrowed in confusion, but nonetheless you got up.

"You want to sleep, so let's go to sleep." Elaine said so matter-of-factly.

"But didn't you have any plans today?" She pulled you into a tight hug. "Yeah, I did, but you are more important."

Read part 2 here!

Taglist is always open / Send me a DM if you wish to be added/removed :)

@jackles010378 @cevansbaby-dove @deanwinchestersgirl87 @alternativeprincess94

[lailawinchesterr]

part seven, too much, too little time [jensen ackles]

series masterlist | main masterlist

seven,

"Rewind. You got pregnant? When? Did you give birth?"

"No," She lets out another sob. I furrow my eyebrows but Gen seems to get it as she gasps slightly, hugging Danneel closer to her. Gen's eyes start to tear up too and when i finally realize, i don't think i can handle it. 

I so so desperately want to leave this conversation, but I know what the right thing to do is; stay next to my best friend and let her cry into our shoulders. We’re all waiting for the tears to dry while I hear hearing Jensen keeping the other two girls busy in the kitchen. He seems to know what's going on here.

"I just— i couldn't keep it. I don't want to." We nod quickly, not wanting her to think we're judging her.

"Hey," Gen forces their eyes to make contact, "You don't explain yourself to us. We're here for you, always." She hesitates but nods anyways, trying to dry the river of tears that streamed down her face in less than ten minutes. 

"Go wash your face, we're here." She listens to my words and i let out a sigh. I can't believe she bottled it up like that. I lean my head against Gen as Jensen and the girls come in to sit around too. 

My voice is quieter this time for only Gen to hear since the three are still in conversation about the kids and their show. "Why'd you think she kept it?"

"I'm not sure," she sighs, looking through her phone's contacts, "She’s Danneel. She always wants to be the tough one, maybe it had something to do with that."

"Yeah. Maybe. It's still... it doesn't sit right with me. Danneel has been with me through so many things and then she just left because she was hurt. She keeps pushing me away over and over again and i don't know how many times i can pull her in." Gen seems to agree with me because she isn't on her phone anymore, this time she's laying me on her chest and we're joining the random conversation around the room just for the sake of it. Danneel comes back and the girls greet her with worry and love, Jensen hosts us some drinks and sits next to his wife, his arm resting on the couch behind her head.

They look so much like they used to just a year ago but still so different. He's not constantly touching her and kissing her.

It's new for all of us.

“You okay?” Gen’s words pull me out of my trance, so I nod against her chest. Me and her and curled up on the red couch, Jensen and Danneel on the one next to us while the other two girls are on the floor, resting against the beanbags.

The whole house is very Danneel, it always has been. She had all the creative freedom in the world to decorate this mansion in anyway she wanted— Jensen had never told her no. Though, her freedom has much more to do with Jensen knowing he’d mess it up than it being a cute gesture.

We all enjoy coming to sit with them whenever we can, and whenever they invite us. Christmas parties, birthdays, brunches— you name it, the Ackles have probably hosted it. Their house is large enough to fit the whole cast and still have room (maybe that’s an exaggeration) so we all like to come by and have drinks. Besides, they love doing it. Danneel’s eyes occasionally leave me the whole day, even when I’m not talking, she’s looking at me— as if waiting for me to do or say something. An hour after when Jensen decides he’ll order us all Mexican and leaves us in the room, we all huddle up on the floor. Me in between Gen and Dee. “You know, we miss you on set. You used to come all the time— you still should.”

I nod at Gen’s words, “Yeah, Dee. No matter the circumstances it’s your set. ‘Sides, you’re coming anyways to play Sister Jo in a couple of weeks.”

“Right,” She shakes her head in disdain, “I couldn’t get out of that.”

“Why would you want to?” Alona asks.

“Just… not in the headspace, you know? I’d rather not take up any projects right now. Lily said I should do it though.” We all seem to agree with her agent’s words as we nod at her, voicing it.

“Dee, you’re an incredible actor, and you haven’t done anything in… too long. You should do this, Lily’s right.” She sighs, nodding.

“I know she is, I will do it. I’m excited to see all of the cast again.” She faces Gen with a smile, “‘Specially Jare. Haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Yeah, he asks about you.” Dee’s eyes soften and I sink in my beanbag at the sight. If all it took was letting her know we care about her to get her to calm down, we would’ve made this visit ages ago. “We’re all excited to have you back. And I’m excited to play again.” We all laugh, praising her as she flips her hair around, expecting it. If anyone is in love with their character— it’s Genevieve Ruby Cortese.

“Y’all ready to bring Meg and Jo back?” I tease the two girls as they also sass me back. God, these celebrities. “Can someone convince Bob to bring Jo and Dean back together in heaven?” Alona rolls her eyes at me and i move closer, holding both her hands in mine, “Please, ‘Lona! We need it! We all do.”

“I’m pretty sure the whole fandom does.”

“Who did you think I was referring to?” She scoffs with a playful smile, snatching her hands back. “You’d do us all a favor. I swear if Dean dies loveless—”

“Why do you think he’s dying?”

“Do y’all think I’m stupid? ‘Course they’re killing Dean. They fucking hate him.” Jensen chooses that glorious moment to come into the room, passing Dee’s phone back to her, confirming he ordered us the food.

“Now,” he settles behind his wife, “What was that about hating Dean?” His green eyes stare right back at mine and bashfulness gets the best of me as I shrug— God, please take me.

“Just that… he shouldn’t die alone, you know?”

“Yeah, with you. But it also wouldn’t make sense to give him a random lover at the end of his days.” I straighten up once I notice he’s actually taking this seriously, like he wants to know my opinion. Like it matters.

“I said Jo. I mean he likes her and they never actually did anything which kinda mean something to Dean cause he fucks anything that walks— so I just—” Suddenly my tongue fails me as everyone in the room bursts into a fit of laughter, Jensen putting a hand on Dee’s shoulder as he laughs along, “Sorry, just mean their relationship’s significant.”

“We know what you mean,” He dismisses my concerns, “And that would actually be good. I mean we tried the whole Jo thing back in season five.” He looks over at Alona quickly, who gives him a reassuring smile that she’s fine with it. She’s came to terms with how fast they left her character, how fast they dismissed her for no fucking reason. “But we can try to give it another go. His end and all that— wait who spoiled it?”

“What?”

“How’d you know he’s dying?”

“It’s supernatural, of course he’s dying. I figured it out, you just confirmed it.” He shakes his head with a grin, “And anyways, I’m not watching the episode.”

“What? The series finale?”

“Yeah, I’m not breaking my heart like that— that’s just cruel.” They all seem to highly agree with me as we move onto the next topic and the next and the next. I put my hand over Danneel’s every once in a while, squeezing her thigh too. I like being in contact with her, it helps remind me (and maybe even her) that this isn’t it. This isn’t where our friendship ends, we’re still going strong. We always will.

After a few hours filled with Mexican food, tiramisu we brought for them, and hanging out with the kids, we decide to head out, all of us admitting it's a long drive back. "'Sides, we want you to have time with the kids. We just wanted to come say hi, and I’m sure we overstayed our welcome,” i throw my hands up to the sky that’s starting to darken, the sun setting, “maybe we can do it again and not be so distant." I shoot Danneel a look as i say that, hoping to get a confirmation out of her.

"Yeah," Jensen's the one to speak up, "'Course." 

I saw my best friend today, but i also didn't really get to see her. She's been sitting next to Jensen the whole time, joining in on the conversation mostly when he does or when he gives her a look. She doesn't look fragile, not like she did when she was in me and Gen's arms, but she's not her usual happy self. She's much more reserved.

I give her one more look and see her smile weakly. I smile too, because even if she's going through it, at least she's trying. "Yeah. We'll see you on set."

Danneel furrows her eyebrows, "Lils, you on the show?"

"No, just go to annoy those sons of bitches to no end." Gen laughs first, getting it all too quickly before we all join in. "And I’ll be there when you come back next week too."

"Yeah," she nods once, "it's been great seeing all of you. Have a safe drive back." We all say our goodbyes with kisses and hugs before i reach Jensen. I don't know why he scares me like this, in this all-consuming, never ending, nerve-wrecking way. I don't know how to act or be around him, I want to be perfect. And I’m far from it.

"Hi," i say slowly, although i know i'm supposed to be saying 'bye'. I don't think clearly when he's around me. It's too hard to do so.

"Hey, sweetheart. Thank you for today," He seems to be thanking me for helping Danneel out more than she has, "y'all really helped cheer her up. And i'm glad i got to see you."

"You see me everyday, Ackles." I smile, leaning back a little so we weren't standing too close. So we weren't standing like him and Danneel always stand. 

"Yeah, first time we got to talk though," he says it teasingly but the guilt follows the second the words leave his mouth. I want to freakin' forget that ever happened, even if I did it for years. 

"Yeah i'm—"

"Hey, no, ‘m just teasing. You're fine. Don't apologize. It’s all over now." I nod once and pull him in for a hug, this time it isn't a side one, and we aren't 'hardly touching' we're fully flush against one another and his way too muscular arms wrap around my back, it makes me dizzy. He quickly lets go though and i notice how long we've been talking. "I'll see you Wednesday." He rubs my back once, and i set off with the girls, all getting into the Jeep. I decide to drive this time. I need the distraction.

+

When we drop everyone off Rachel's tired so she says she'll take me home and stay with me the night. She let us use her Jeep and finish off her gas a couple of times, so of course i agree. I get dressed for bed and tell her to use the bathroom and my wardrobe as she pleases as I rest my back on the headboard, going over notes.

"I don't get it." She says as she ties her hair up. "You have a date with Jensen?" I roll my eyes, "so you have a not-date with Jensen?"

"Yes," i say quickly, "that's exactly it. Not a date, just two friends hanging out."

"Laila, y'all are not friends."

"Are so—"

"You avoid him like— no, worst that the plague."

"Used to—"

"Just last week you ran to go paint your car."

"That's different—"

"A day before that it was cause your cats sick. You don't have a cat." I sigh in exasperation, throwing my book onto the bed. "'Sides, don't you think he's a little too old for you. You're still in college. Jensen's married with kids."

"Nuh-uh. Was married. And i'm not dating him."

"You want to though," i decide it's futile to argue or deny so i don't react, sliding further into my bed. She joins me on it. My crush on Jensen is far too obvious to the girls, i can't try to hide it anymore no matter how guilty i feel.

"I don't wanna hurt Dee." I sigh, looking up at my best friend. "She's my girl, she's the one who introduced me to all of you, she was my rock when i first came to America— I don't want to lose her over a guy, a guys who's rightfully hers."

"He's not anyone's, he's Jensen Ackles. He's a human being. You can try to not hurt Dan all you want but if he likes you the same way you do him, it won't matter what you both do, it's inevitable."

"I’ve liked him for years, Rach. Why's he noticing now? I liked a guy for eight years once, never dated him in my life, cause he had a girlfriend and i'm not doing that, obviously. Now jensen talks to me once and i'm falling at his feet? Why'd i agree to go out with him? I'm a horrible—"

"Hey! Stop it. Laila, you're an incredible person because you care this much about how Danneel's gonna feel even if it has nothing to do with her." I sigh and she moves closer on the bed to me, a hand in my hair, "They're not together. He likes you. You like him. It's not wrong."

"Then why's it feel like is it?"

"'Cause you're a good person, Lils. Danneel is not the obstacle between you and a relationship with Jensen."

I tilt my head to the side, straightening up, "What is?"

"His age, for one. I'm sure he feels strongly about that." 

"He's never mentioned it. He's not that much older, just 20 years." She lets out a small laugh, teasingly.

"You sound like one of his fangirls."

"Shut up. JJ is four, i'm much older than she is, it's not like he's as old as my father is either— okay that's not a good point to make but my dad was a child when he had me.”

"Right. What about his kids?"

"What about them? JJ and the twins love me!"

"Enough to call you mommy?" I choke back a laugh, "i'm serious, Lils! You want jensen, you gotta be in it for the long game. He's a celebrity whose life is scrutinized, you can't just come in and out whenever you want without causing some serious backlash on him." I love that Rachel is being fair to both me and Jensen when she lists out the reasons. She's always been my very own pros and cons list, who even cares enough about the other person to mention what might hurt them.

"They won't call me mommy. Dee is their mom. I'm still aunt leela."

"Who's sleeping with daddy."

I roll my eyes slap her shoulder, "Shut up! I don't even know why we're talking about this, he didn't even say it's a date."

"Yeah, but what if he asks you on one? Besides, Wednesday's tomorrow. You even think of how you're gonna manage to spend the day with him when you have a final on Friday?" 

"How'd you—"

"Got your schedule a while back. I know how shy you get, you can't reschedule and you definitely don't cancel. You study enough for this final?"

"It isn't a final, just a mock. The final's still next week."

"You study for the mock?" I shake my head and glare down at my book, dull notes on the Lymphatic system staring back at me. Maybe I'm not fully prepared, but it's good enough. Mocks don't matter that much anyways. "Mocks are important," it's as if I'm an open book with these people, "just as important as finals. You can't skip out on it and you can't fail it."

"M'not failing. I studied. Rach, he's Jensen Ackles, not my next door neighbour, I can't cancel on him."

"That not how you think of friends, that's how you think of celebrities. If all Jensen is to you is just another a celebrity then it'll never work out, you'll just be too scared to ever ask him for anything, not like you need any help in that." I'm about to fight back, say anything, but instead I throw my hands up and then cover my face groaning. 

"This fucking sucks." I uncover my eyes to see her nod and i sigh. "Let's go to sleep. I'll think about it later."

I won't, I don't need to, I just need to go out with Jensen and finish the date as fast as it started so I could pass my mock.

part eight

guysss, we’re getting the big date/non-date next chapter (which is 4k words I don’t even know how to apologize for that) but so so excited!

Taglist; @kr804573

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 7

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Warnings: Bullying, Fat shaming, Insecure reader, Kidnapping, Mild violence, Sexual harassment. Please let me know if I missed any!

Part 6 -- Part 8

Series Masterlist

Everyone was making sure to give Curtis some space. Jake had read aloud the contents of the note you’d sent, “Lloyd is back. Has solid plans to take over everything.” This was the excuse they needed to slowly back away from Curtis who was frozen in rage. They immediately got to work notifying everyone in the family. Levinson began coordinating an evacuation of those family members who were most vulnerable, making sure to keep it quick and quiet. Steve and Bucky started moving people around, making sure everyone was armed and on alert. Mace was reaching out to all contacts looking for information.

But all Curtis could do was glare at the phone. The number you were supposed to call when you were safe. The others may have been okay with the note being your signal but not him. He needed to hear you say you were okay. After the way Ransom talked to you he wouldn’t accept anything less than you telling him. No codes, no proxy, just you. 

The phone gave a short tone, indicating a text had been received. He grabbed it and stared at the message from you. As the reality of your words hit him he had to swallow down his panic. 

“JENSEN,” Curtis bellowed. “Tell me you’re tracking Y/N’s phone!”

“Yeah, what…what happened,” Jake asked.

“She’s in trouble,” Curtis barked, loud enough for everyone to hear. He handed Jake the phone, displaying the message. “Find her ASAP! And message me the second you find her.” 

“Curtis,” Mace called after him, “we’ve got higher priorities.”

Curtis glared at his second-in-command, “I said she shouldn’t do this. Everyone else said she should. Now she’s in trouble. We got her into this, we have to rescue her.”

“Be that as it may,” Mace countered, tone calm, “we’re talking about Lloyd and an all out war against the entire family. That’s a lot of people at risk, not just Teach. We have to prioritize appropriately.” The two tried to stare each other down but Mace added, “you know I’m right.” Curtis growled, but Mace didn’t budge. It was one of the main reasons Curtis made him his second: not easily intimidated and always able to keep his eyes on the main prize. It’s what Curtis usually needed to keep himself in line. 

Usually. “You’re in charge of the Garbage,” Curtis snarled. “As soon as Jake gives me an address, I’m grabbing an axe and going after her.” 

Mace’s eyes widen slightly at the mention of an axe, understanding the implications. All he can do is nod his assent and get back to work. No one had seen The Berserker since Curtis left Wilford & Gilliam’s service and swore fealty to the family. Curtis professed, several times, to never wanting to bring him back. But with you in danger, it appears Curtis would use any means to keep you safe. 

Lloyd’s car was probably the nicest you’d ever been in. It seemed to have all of the accouterments a person could ever want. Certainly more than they could ever need. If you weren’t here against your will you’d ask about them or absentmindedly press buttons. Instead, you kept your purse clutched tightly in your arms and kept your face passive. You decided to keep quiet until Lloyd said something, trying to “behave” as he put it. The way he occasionally looked over your body, openly ogling you, had you very uncomfortable. 

He pulls up to an impossibly ritzy hotel and turns off the car. He immediately jumps out and opens your door for you before tossing the keys to the valet. 

“Come along, Pumpkin,” Lloyd snaps his fingers. You step out of the car and he puts his arm around you before walking you into the hotel. You try not to wince at the touch. 

 He walks you to the elevator and, when it’s just the two of you, his hand starts wandering down towards your ass. When it gets too low for your liking you grunted, “don’t. Just don’t.” 

His hand stops but his annoying grin grows into a full smile, “oooh, there it is,” he whispers into your ear. “That tone just does something for me. I’m sure you can figure out what that something is.” You can’t stop your eyes from glancing down and, in truth, he does appear to be hard. You don’t hold back your scoff and eye roll but it only seems to excite him more. 

The elevator doors open to reveal the largest hotel suite you’ve ever seen. The opulence was almost overwhelming. If it weren’t for Lloyd’s very strong arm pushing you forward you would’ve been too scared of breaking something expensive to move. 

He gestures you towards a couch, “have a seat and relax, Pumpkin. Take off that cardigan and let me get a better look at the ladies.”

“No,” you snap. “I’m not that kind of girl. I want to just go home.”

“Oh, Sunshine,” he purrs as he walks over to a drink cart. “You lost the right to go home the second I heard you at Ran’s.”

“What do you mean,” you inquire. “We were the only people there.” You have to be careful to not reveal you knew someone was listening.

“Yes, you were, but I’ve had Ran’s place bugged for a couple weeks now,” he cheerfully starts making himself a drink. “My comms guy told me someone was giving Ran a visit so I asked him to patch me through and let me listen. You only argued for about thirty seconds but it was enough for me to know I had to have a few rounds with you.”

“If thirty seconds is your definition of “enough” I’m definitely not interested.”

He laughs at your response and moves to sit next to you, bringing his drink with him, “fuck I love that sass. And that smack you gave him? I was so hard after I had to jerk myself off before meeting you.” You don’t hold back your grimace at the image. He scoots closer to you and you try to scoot away but he grabs your arm, gripping hard enough you’re sure there’ll be bruises. “Be a good girl,” he whispers. “You got Ransom, the most picky, skinny-bitch loving person I’d ever known, to beg after you. I gotta know how good of a fuck you are.”

“I didn’t chase him, he chased me,” you tell him through gritted teeth. “He’s just another asshole who wants what he can’t have. Who can’t have anyone in his life who doesn’t want him. That’s all. It’s got nothing to do with my nonexistent skills in bed.”

“Hmm…” he looks you over. “He seemed to enjoy how you worshiped his cock. And really, what more could a guy want? You worship mine half as good as you did his and I’ll make sure to reward you.”

“Bullshit,” you give him more of that attitude he seems to enjoy. Maybe you can distract him long enough to figure out a way out of this. “You’ll probably just fuck my mouth, last thirty seconds and send me home without even the courtesy of a breath mint. You’re just like all the other assholes I’ve ever had to deal with.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong, Pumpkin. I’m much more dangerous and wealthy than any other asshole you’ve met. Behave, you’ll only have to know about the wealth. Keep fighting me and you’ll learn why I’m so feared.” The pain from him squeezing your arm is growing. You have to switch tactics.

“Wait,” you give Lloyd your best “I’m confused” look. “I thought you said you were into the sass. I’m getting some mixed signals here.” Lloyd pauses at the abrupt change in your demeanor and the grip on your arm relaxes a little. “I mean, if you want the doe-eyed, obedient fucktoy you should’ve said so from the beginning. But you kept talking about enjoying my sharper tones and retorts. Do you even know what you want?”

“I…uh..” Lloyd stutters. 

Not wanting him to get his bearings you continue, “I mean, Hugh wanted the whole female dominant experience. He wanted the degradation and spankings. Is that not what you wanted as well? Or…wait, wait, were you after the whole “dominating the dom” thing? You need to tell me this shit upfront! Also I need your safeword. Mine is “Asimov,” don’t ask why, it’s way too long a story and Hugh didn’t pay enough for a long session.”

“He said you were his assistant.”

“That’s the cover story, yes,” as careful as you need to be, you need everything to sound natural. Plausible, even. “Word gets out that someone with his reputation buys his ladies? He’ll plummet in the social circles. Especially with some of the older ladies he schmoozes, you know? So he tells people we’re his assistants, emphasis on the “ass” of course.” You wink and give your most sensual smile to Lloyd. You’re not sure if you’re passing but he’s stopped crushing your arm and has backed off a little. “Hugh said you liked the bigger girls, like myself, so we set up a kind of introduction for you. Let you decide if you actually wanted me. Considering the things you’ve said, I’d say you’re into me.” 

With a confidence you don’t actually have you grab Lloyd’s drink out of his hand and take a swig. It burns a lot, but you fight the urge to wince and instead give him a smile. 

Lloyd throws his head back and laughs, “oh, Pumpkin. I’m gonna make you my fucking queen.”

You raise an eyebrow, “what do you mean?”

“Not going to get into the details, but if you suck my dick as good as you act, I’m gonna keep you. You really had me believing you were a sassy secretary. Fuck, you really got me good. Not many people can claim that.” You bat your eyes and he continues, “let me give all your holes a test run and, if you do well, I’m gonna keep you. Let you live a life of luxury. No work, no other men, just my queen in my castle.”

“You may be overselling yourself, Lloyd.”

“You would know a bit about that, wouldn’t you,” he winks back at you and you fight the urge to vomit.

A ding from the elevator thankfully takes Lloyd’s attention. A tall, lean man with blond hair steps out, “Mr. Hansen, I do apologize for the intrusion. You weren’t answering your phone.” You’re surprised at the British accent.

“This better be good, Pine,” Lloyd barks.

“You asked to be reminded of your 2:30 meeting with Mr. Rumlow.”

Lloyd checks his watch and curses under his breath. “Alright, alright. I’ve been reminded, you can go now.” 

Pine slightly bows and heads back to the elevator while Lloyd moves closer to you than he’s been this entire time. He grabs the back of your neck and threatens, “if you leave, I will hunt you down and you will not enjoy what happens when I find you.”

“I understand, Lloyd.”

“Good girl,” he whispers before standing up and heading to the elevator. You stay seated, face down, waiting for the telltale sounds of the elevator leaving before you let yourself fully succumb to the stress of the day and pass out, exhausted in so many ways.

Part 6 -- Part 8

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would. 

@alexakeyloveloki

@bigtreefest

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@lokislady82

@texmexdarling 

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart- Chapter 5

Pairing- Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 5,709

Warnings- Some language. Jensen isn't the best boyfriend. I warned before this started posting it would contain angst, if you need another reminder, here it is. If I missed something let me know!

A/N-You all knew this part was coming sooner or later, some of you even called for it. Starting with this chapter, we'll start to see things from Jensen's side also. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

Jensen takes the rare opportunity to sleep in Sunday morning and is the last one down to breakfast.  His sister and her husband Jeremy have already arrived and are sitting at the table with his parents.

“Did someone have a late night?” Mackenzie teases him.

“Not too bad.  Just taking advantage of catching up on some sleep,” he answers with a yawn.

“What did you and Y/N do yesterday?” his mom asks him.

“I didn’t see her yesterday.  I was meeting with Steve, and we had a few people to go see.  Trying to work out deals for a project.”

“What did she do then?” his mom tries again.

“Not a clue, I didn’t talk to her yesterday.  I was kind of busy.  Why the sudden interest in her day?”

He is filling his coffee cup and doesn’t see the looks exchanged around the table.

“Is everything alright with you two?” His dad questions.

“It’s fine.”

“Yeah, sounds like it,” he doesn’t hear his sister mutter.

Josh and his family arrive after breakfast, while Jensen is upstairs showering.  He misses the kids and his brother coming in to wish his dad a ‘Happy Father’s Day.’  When Jensen comes back down everyone is sitting in the living room with the kids playing in the middle of the floor.  He takes his phone out to take a picture of his nephews and notices a missed text from Gen, making a note to read it later, he snaps a few shots of the boys.

His family asks him questions about work, and what he has been up to.  He inquires about each of them.  They grill out for a late lunch before he has to leave for the airport.  His mom walks out to the rental car with him.

“You’re sure everything is alright?  You aren’t hiding something so we won’t worry?”

“No, it’s all fine mom.”

“Even with Y/N?”

“Yeah. I do have to get going to catch my flight.  It was good to see all of you.”

“I’m glad you could make it home, even for a short visit.  Your dad enjoyed seeing all of you for Father’s Day.”

He’s double checking his suitcase for his passport and not really listening to his mom at the moment, “Yeah, sure I’ll try and make it home then.”

“What?” Donna asks.

Finding his passport, Jensen stands to give his mom one last hug.  “Good to see all of you.  Take care, love you ma.”

While sitting on the plane waiting for the rest of the passengers to load, Jensen takes out his phone and lazily scrolls through it.  He remembers the message he missed from Gen early and opens that conversation, checking the date, he sees it is actually from yesterday.

‘Did you forget something today Ackles?????????????’

“I don’t know Gen, did I forget something?” he mutters to himself, while just replying with question marks of his own.

 Next he pulls up Instagram, it takes him a moment to realize he is seeing multiple posts about Father’s Day.

‘It’s not Father’s Day,’ he thinks to himself, ‘that’s not until the middle of June.”

There is a voice over the intercom telling all passengers to turn off electronics before Jensen has a chance to think more about the holiday or the date.  He goes over the next script for ‘The Boys’ and notes from the meetings with Steve the day before, never giving the date another thought. 

Your Sunday is spent with your parents and Jared’s family.  You and Gen get up to make a big breakfast for everyone.  Tom has homemade cards for his dad and grandpa he places on the table.  Your mom comes down, and helps the two of you finish it all up.

Jared and your dad take Tom out to the park for some male bonding time after breakfast.  Gen, your mom and yourself move to the living room.

 While they are talking babies you excuse yourself to go for a walk.  You are hoping it will help all the thoughts running around your head.  You pass Jensen’s house and pause.  You can’t help but think that he has already started to move on without you.  You’re the one who just hasn’t caught up with the times yet.

On Monday, Jared and Gen have meetings for Walker, so you are hanging out with Tom.   You are used to working twelve to fourteen hour days on set, but somehow this little man wears you out more than those do.  The two of you play outside on the swing set, he has you chase him during a long game of tag, you’re in the pool and back inside rolling toy cars around on the floor.  When your sister-in-law returns you happily hand your nephew back.

Jensen is on set Tuesday, when Jack is talking to some of the other cast members about his parents’ visit over the weekend.  

“They haven’t been to Toronto in awhile and decided to use visiting for Father’s Day as an excuse to come up this weekend.”

“If they were coming for Father’s Day, why did they come this past weekend?” Jensen asks him.

A few people turn and look at him. “Father’s Day was this past weekend,” Chase tells him.

“No, it wasn’t, it couldn’t have been.”

Others are also confirming this.  Jensen doesn’t have his phone with him, or his watch on.  

“What’s the date?” he asks his cast mates.

“21st of June.  Everything all right mate?” Karl asks sitting across the board from him.

“Son of a bitch,” Jensen yells out, “I missed Y/N’s birthday.  It was the 18th.”

He gets up from his chair to head to his trailer where his phone is to call you, but is called to set before he has the chance to get very far.  It’s after 2 am before they wrap for the night, he’s beat just going straight home and falling asleep.

He forgot to set his alarm before collapsing in bed, when he rolls over Wednesday morning and looks at the clock he has to move it.   He has maybe ten minutes before he needs to be leaving the apartment for set.  

Once he arrives he is sent straight to hair and makeup before being ushered to wardrobe.  His PA takes his bag back to his trailer for him.  When they break for lunch he is in the middle of a discussion with Karl and Anthony that completely distracts him.  He makes a quick stop by his trailer before he has to be back on set.  Pulling his phone out of his bag he sees a missed call from you.

“Son of a bitch, I still haven’t talked to her,” he growls out.  He tries calling back, but just reaches your voicemail. He hangs up and throws his phone back in the bag before returning to set.

Wednesday, you finally relent and call Jensen. He never has time to talk long so you make the call on your way to the studio to redo some voice over work for the Netflix show that just wrapped. You shouldn’t be surprised that it ends up going straight to voicemail.  The plane ticket you received for your birthday is to fly out Friday morning, you figure you should probably tell Jensen you are coming up.  Who knows, maybe just showing up would actually get you some time with him.  Leaving your phone in the car you walk into the studio.

Coming back to your car two hours later, you check your phone for messages before leaving the parking lot.  You have to reread the name when you see you have a missed call from Jensen, it’s rare he calls you back this quick lately or even at all.  Hitting the call button you once again get his voicemail, this time you leave a message.

“Hey Jay, I just wanted to tell you Jared and Gen got me a ticket to fly up to Toronto.  I’ll be landing around 2:30 Friday afternoon.  I’ll talk to you later, have a good day.”

Getting back to your brother’s place you are busy the rest of the night.  The two of them went out with a friend of Gen’s and you volunteered to watch Tom.  The little man has a lot of energy to burn tonight.  When you finally get him down, you start going through clothes in your room to take with you this weekend.

In Toronto, Jensen has finally wrapped for the night.  Today’s scenes were a bit…well, what one would come to expect from The Boys.  There is a knock on his trailer door as he’s finishing changing out of his costume.  Chase and Jack are on the other side.

“Hey, we’re going out with Karl for a drink after that mess.  You in?”

“Definitely, let me grab my bag,” he tells them.

One drink turns into a couple and they are out for a few hours.   In the cab on the way back to his place, Jensen pulls out his phone to check his call time for the next day.  Seeing a voicemail message, he tells himself he’ll listen to it tomorrow when he’s in better shape.  Clearing the notification he checks his calendar before turning off the phone. 

Thursday has a noon call time, and sees them filming until two in the morning on location.  It was almost four am before he got to bed.  Walking up after ten the next morning he has a new voicemail notification.  He listens to the call from the director on a schedule change for the weekend.  Because Eric is going to be in town for a few days and they want the big man on set for the shooting of certain scenes, they are going to be moved up to this weekend. 

Then his phone tells him he has a missed message. “Who'd I miss?” he mumbles to himself.  When he hears your message, his eyes go wide in surprise, “crap.”

Just as he’s hanging up from the voicemail, the phone rings with your name popping up.

“Hey pretty girl,”

“Hi Jay, how are you?”

“Fine, tired.  I just got your message.  Are you sure you really want to?”

He hears the tired sigh you let out, “I’m at the airport, waiting for the plane.  If you don’t want me to come up there, tell me now.”

“I don’t know how much time I’ll have to spend with you.”

“We aren’t spending any time together currently, whatever I can get this weekend is better than that.”  You just hear him groan over the line.  “If you want me to call Jared to come pick me back up I will.”

“No.  When do you get in?”

“The plane’s scheduled to land around 2:40, then I have to clear customs.”

“I have to be on set, I’m not going to be able to meet you.”

“Okay, I can take a cab over to the studio.”

“No, just come back to the apartment. I’ll leave a spare key in an envelope with the receptionist,” he tells you.

“Okay.  See you soon. Love you.”

“Yeah, love ya.”

His head falls back against the pillow as he hangs up.  His easy weekend is now going to be a bit more complicated. 

At the airport in Austin, you sit back against the hard seat with a sigh.  This was off to a rocky start and the plane hasn’t even boarded yet.  Thankfully the flight itself was an easy one.  After making your way through customs you exit the building to try and find a cab.  

When you arrive at his apartment building, you need to show your ID in order to pick up the envelope he left with the key.  The doorman shows you up, at least Jensen remembered to tell him you were coming before he left.  

Opening the apartment door, you take a look around.  It’s fairly empty, but you shouldn’t be surprised.  Jensen is only going to have this place a few months. You take your suitcase down the hall, you think this is the way to the bedroom.  It’s the second door you try.  There is a photo of you and Jensen on his nightstand, it gives you some hope seeing it there. Taking a few things out of your bag, you then explore the apartment.  It’s a little bit of a mess, so you spend some time tidying it up.  The fridge is empty, so you go down to inquire about the nearest grocery store.  It isn’t too far away, so you decide to walk over.  With your hands full, you take a cab back to the apartment.

There are a few items to put away in the cupboard, you make a few meals to freeze that Jensen can thaw later, then prepare pasta, salad and bread for dinner.  All this time you haven’t heard a word from Jay, not even checking that you made it in alright. You send a text asking if he knows how late he’ll be working, but don’t receive a response. 

By eight, you fix yourself a plate for dinner and eat alone at the table. Putting the rest away, you curl up on the couch, and find a movie on Netflix.  It’s after eleven when the door opens and Jensen finally comes in.  Getting up from the couch, you go over to greet him.

“Hey honey,” you say before leaning up to kiss him.

“Hi babe.” He gives you a quick kiss before pulling away. “I need a shower.”

He rejoins you in the living room ten minutes later, sitting next to you on the couch.  

“There’s some pasta in the fridge, if you would like me to heat some up for you?”

“I’m good, we ate on set.”

“Okay.  Do you have anything going on tomorrow?”

“I’ve got a 10 am call time.  Should go till 8 or so.”

You just nod in response. It’s been awhile since you’ve had his arm wrapped around you, and you are just going to enjoy that for now.  The movie on the screen ends and you suggest going to bed hoping to feel more than his arm around your shoulders tonight.

You come out of the bathroom ready for bed in a new lace chemise, and find your boyfriend sound asleep.  Grabbing one of his old t-shirts from your bag, you turn around to go back to change.

The next morning Jensen is up before you are.  You find him out at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee and what looks like a script.

“Morning, do you want breakfast before you leave?”

“No, I already had something. But thanks.”

“Can I come to set with you today? Hang out in between scenes with you?”

“No, they don’t like other people on set.  Don’t want any secrets getting out.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. I guess I’ll go explore the city then.  Text me when you’re done, we can maybe grab a late dinner somewhere?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Do you film tomorrow?”

“No, it’s just going over some choreography for fight scenes on Tuesday.”

“So it should be a shorter day?”

“Hopefully.  Chase, Karl and I have a tee time at 2.”

“Great.”  You’re only here for a few days, but getting a round of golf in takes precedence apparently.

Once Jensen leaves for work you pull out your phone to find something to entertain yourself with today.   You decide to start the day at Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada.  

The tour of the aquarium takes you first to the Dangerous Lagoon overlook.  There you see sharks, turtles, eels and sawfish.  A sign says it is the largest exhibit at the aquarium, and has around 2.9 million liters of water.  From there you enter the Discovery Center which has interactive exhibits and features Zebra and Blacktip Reef Sharks along with Clownfish.  The Canadian Waters and Kelp Forest are next where you see octopus, lobsters, Cod, Wolf Eel, and Paddlefish.  

On the lower level of the aquarium you see the Rainbow Reef which recreates the coral seas of the Pacific.  Planet Jellies has various breeds of jellyfish. The Ray-Bay is home to five types of stingrays and the Bonnethead Shark.  A sign says that back on the main level you can pet the rays at the top of the tank. 

Back up top, you stroll through the gallery area next.  This is home to Electric Eels, Seahorses, Piranhas, Pufferfish and Mudskippers.  A quick tour of the gift shop and you are on your way out.

The aquarium is right near the base of the CN Tower.  Being so close, you couldn’t pass that up. The tower was completed in 1976 and stands 1,815.5 feet tall.

Getting off the elevators at the observation level you are currently 1,136 feet off the ground. The glass floor lets you look to the ground 114 stories below.  You go up to the Skypod which is 33 stories above the main observation level.  It is the highest observation platform in the Western Hemisphere.  You can see all the way to New York and Niagara Falls from here. You can also feel the building swaying a lot more up here. You hear a guide mention the antenna above the Skypods gets hit by lightning an average of 75 times a year.  The mix of the swaying and lightning are enough to send you back down to ground level.

You grab a light lunch and walk over to High Park to sit and enjoy it.  Finishing your lunch you take a walk down one of the nature trails.  Walking alone your thoughts drift to Jensen.  Once again today, you haven’t heard from him at all.  You are right here in his town and he can’t seem to spare you any time.

That afternoon you end up strolling through the CF Toronto Eaton Centre Mall.  It is a huge shopping center with more than 250 stores.  In your current mood nothing there really grabs your attention.  

By seven you are on your way back to Jensen’s apartment to get cleaned up to have dinner with him.   At 8:30 you send a text asking if he was going to be getting off soon. Almost an hour later, you receive a reply.

Jensen 💗-On my way back

You-Do you still want to go out and grab dinner?

Jensen💗-No

Alrighty then.  You pull leftovers out of the fridge and start warming them up for dinner.  When he walks in, you just about have everything ready to go.

“Hey honey, if you want to shower first, dinner is almost ready.”

“I already ate.”

“What?”

“It was a rough shoot, I went out and grabbed a drink with Karl, Jack and Anthony.  We ordered some food there.”

He heads off to the bathroom, and you just stare after him.  “Well thanks for telling me,” you mutter after him.

No longer hungry you put everything away once more.  Entering the bedroom you change into sweats and sit down on the corner of the couch.  It isn’t long until Jensen returns, he collapses in the middle of the couch.

“What a day.  Anything Kripke was unable to throw at us during Supernatural is sure finding its way out now.”

“Hmm.”

“This season is going to be so sick.”

You don’t respond, just keep your eyes straight ahead on the television.

“What’s your problem?” He turns his head to look at you.

“What’s going on with us?” you ask.

“What do you mean?”

“I feel like I don’t matter to you any more.  We rarely talk anymore.”

“We’re talking right now, or I was trying to but you’re ignoring me.”

“I thought we were going to do something tonight, but you went out with your friends while I was waiting for you.  You could have at least let me know what was going on.”

“It’s been a long couple of days, I don’t want to fight with you.  I’m going to bed.”

You watch him leave, biting your lip, you rest your head back against the couch trying not to cry.  That did not go the way you wanted it to at all. Going into the extra bedroom you grab a folded blanket off the unmade bed, and bring it back to the couch, planning on sleeping there tonight.  The television keeps you company, while your mind replays everything.  

The next morning, the sound of cupboard doors slamming around wakes you up.  Stretching as you sit up, you notice Jensen moving around the kitchen.  He looks over at you when he sees you move, but doesn’t say anything. He leaves a short time later. 

You don’t feel like doing much of anything today.  You hang out around the apartment watching Hallmark.  Why does everything always work out for them?

Around four, you get a text from Jensen that says he has something with the cast.  Another night alone, fabulous.  Why did you even bother coming?  Changing into presentable clothes you head out to find some food, getting into the elevator you are shocked at who you see.

“Eric, hi.”

“Y/N, how are you?  I wasn’t sure if you were in town or not this weekend.”

“Yeah, I just got in on Friday, staying a few days.  Doing alright, how are you?

“Good, are you coming to dinner?”

“What?”

“A bunch of the crew is going for dinner.  Aren’t you going to meet Ackles? I’ll give you a lift.”

His phone rings and you don’t get a chance to reply.  Getting off the elevator you follow him outside, planning to still go off on your own.  When the car pulls up, he waves you inside.  His phone call lasts almost the whole way to the restaurant, even though he keeps attempting to end it.  He is finally able to put it down just before the car pulls into the parking lot.

“Sorry about that.  Everything is a huge problem to some of the network execs.  Talking with Jared, I thought you were going to be here this weekend, but then I never saw you around set with Jensen.”

“He told me I couldn’t come with him.  Are you sure I can be here tonight?  Jensen didn’t invite me.”

“I would have let you on set, no problem. Yes, you are more than welcome to join us tonight.  Have you met anyone yet?”

“Just Karl.”

You follow him through the restaurant, when he arrives at the large table he calls out, “look who I found on my way here.”

Your eyes are on Jensen who has Claudia’s arm around his shoulders as she is whispering in his ear.

“Hey!” Karl yells, “where have you been hiding?”

He gets up to give you a hug, Jensen gives you a questioning look, while everyone else just stares.  Eric looks around the table and asks a passing waiter for one more place setting and chair.

“I’ve been hanging out around the apartment, explored Toronto yesterday,” you finally answer Karl’s question.

“So you come all the way up here, and don’t even visit the set?  Should we be hurt?” Karl’s last question is directed at Kripke.

“What are you doing here?” Jensen interrupts them.

“Are you going to introduce us, Eric?” Anthony questions at the same time.

“I ran into Eric in the elevator, and he invited me to come along,” you answer Jensen.

“Why didn’t you bring her?” Eric asks your boyfriend, who just shrugs in response.

“Some of us still don’t know what’s going on,” Jack calls out.

“This is Y/N Padalecki, this lovely lady was Ali Black on Supernatural,” Eric introduces you.

“She also has horrible taste in men, because she’s dating that brute,” Karl tells them as he points to Jensen.

Anthony, Karen, Jack, Erin and Chase all stand up to greet you.  A chair is added next to Jensen as everyone but Claudia scoots down to make room for you.  

After the group has ordered, Karl looks at you from across the table.  “How long are you here for?”

“I have a flight out tomorrow afternoon.”

“We have some fight sequences to finalize in the mornin’, are you coming to tour the set?” He asks. 

“I don’t know,” you look over at Jensen, who has remained silent.

As time goes on you notice that Claudia seems to keep touching Jensen, her hand is on her arm, his thigh, and shoulder.  ‘Really girl’ you think ‘right in front of me?’

Erin asks about what you have going on now with Supernatural over.  You tell her about Walker.  Jensen seems agitated next to you, you finally turn and ask if he’s alright.  Instead of answering he stands up and nods for you to join him out in the hall.

“I can’t believe you got Eric to bring you along,” Jensen harshly whispers to you.

“It wasn’t my intention, I just ran into him when I got in the elevator.”

“I don’t understand what your problem is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The attitude you had last night, sleeping on the couch,  now putting yourself in the middle of a cast get together.  What are you trying to do?”

“When did you become such an asshole? Maybe playing Soldier Boy has gone to your head. If you don’t want me here, and it’s such a big deal to have me here, I’ll leave.”

With that you turn back toward the room to grab your purse.  You expect Jensen to stop you, but he never does. The waiter is coming back in and you quietly ask him to cancel your order.  Before walking out the door, you turn back to the table.

“It was nice meeting you all.  I’m sorry, but I have to be going.  Enjoy the rest of your night.”  With that you turn and leave.

Eric is right behind you, he can’t get your attention so he grabs your arm once you step outside.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just have to go.”

“Y/N, I’ve known you a long time.  I can see you’re upset, and you’re barely holding back tears.”  He looks around for a moment before spotting a bench.  “Come sit down for a minute.”

“I’ll be alright, you should get back inside,” you try to tell him.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

You know he isn’t going to let go, with a sigh you start talking.  “Things with Jensen and I haven’t been going so great lately.  He barely answers my calls or texts.  I don’t know the last time he even called or texted me to start a conversation.  Gen thought it might be good for us if I came up here and we spent some time together.  I’ve still barely seen him.”

You take a deep breath to try and get yourself back under control, but you can’t help the tears sliding down your face.  “I’m afraid our relationship might have run its course, and I don’t mean anything to him any more.  I’m just someone he used to have around because I was convenient.”

“Oh Y/N,  I’m so sorry you are feeling like this.  I don’t know what’s going on with him, but I know you always meant a lot to him,” Eric tries to comfort you.

“Used to. I can’t keep going like this, the last month has been rough.  I tried to talk to him last night and that didn’t go over well.  Now he’s mad that I’m here.  When things were good with us, he would have been the first one up to give me a hug.  He would have been the one introducing me to his new cast mates, not you and Karl.  We would have spent any free time he had together, going for a drink or golfing with the guys wouldn’t have been more important.”

“I’m sorry, you don’t deserve to be treated like that,” Eric says softly.  You can tell he is a bit out of his comfort zone here.

You nod your head, you know what you have to do and your heart is crumbling into pieces.  Turning in your seat you give Eric a hug.  “Thanks for everything Eric.  Will you do me a favor and keep an eye on him for me?”

“Anything for you.  I won’t let him get into too much trouble tonight.”

You bite your lip and wipe the tears off your face, “I don’t just mean tonight.”

It takes Eric a second, but after all you’ve just said, he understands what you mean.  “I will, you take care of yourself.  He gives you a hug before hailing you a cab and returning inside.

You stare out the window during the ride back to the apartment.  When you return you start packing up your things.  After your bag is ready you pull out your phone looking for a flight out.  You aren’t sure you could make any that are leaving tonight, so you change it to one leaving at 6:10 am.  Sitting on the couch you wait for Jensen to return.

Over an hour later he finally walks through the door. You stand up as he sets his keys down on the counter.

“We need to talk,” you tell him. softly

“We do.  What were you thinking trying to insert yourself like that?  I’m still new here, I can’t have you pushing your way in the middle of things, or asking for special tours around set.  What are they going to think?”

“As I told you earlier, I didn’t ask Eric to bring me along, I was going out to find my own dinner and ran into him when I was going to do that.  He told me to come along, and that it was alright.  Karl asked about me taking a tour, I didn’t push for one.”

“I can’t afford to have you rocking the boat here.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I’m done.  I can’t…I can’t do whatever this has become anymore.” You gesture between the two of you.

That catches Jensen’s attention, and he notices your packed bag next to the couch. “What are you talking about?  Where are you going?”

“What I started to try and talk to you about last night.  I don’t know what’s happened to us, but I can’t take it anymore.  I’ve changed my flight to leave earlier.  I feel like I am the only one trying to hold this together anymore.  Right now you’re more worried about making a bad impression on people you’ve worked with for a few months, then about me.  You barely answer when I call or text you.  Any of our limited conversations anymore revolve around you, I doubt you could tell me what I have going on in my life lately.”    

“That’s not true, you’re filming that…um…that…”

“The Netflix series?  Maid, about a single mom fleeing from abuse and trying to make it with her child. We wrapped a few weeks ago.  I told you that in Chicago.”

“You’re getting ready for Walker then.”  

“You’re grasping at straws, Jens.”

“I don’t understand why you want to end things?  What was the point of coming up here?  Was it just to break up?  Did you meet someone else?”

You shake your head, not believing what is coming out of his mouth.  “I came up here to see if there was any way we could save our relationship.  But when spending time with you cast mates, who are here with you everyday, is more important than me who you have barely seen, I have my answer.  If you really need an answer to the last question it’s no.  Honestly, going by all the pictures online, and dinner tonight, I should be the one asking that.  But I know you better than that.  At least I used to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know when I became so unimportant to you,  something that could just be tossed aside when I wasn’t useful.”

He looks at you in shock. “That’s not true and you know it.”  

“I really don’t, not anymore.  With everything going on in your life, there isn’t time for me.  A backseat is okay once in a while, but it’s not a place I’m willing to stay.”

 “What are you talking about?”

“Your career is really taking off, and I can’t keep up with everything.  We don’t even live in the same county anymore.  I just don’t fit in your life anymore, and I deserve better than what I’m getting.”

“Everything I do is for us.”

“You really going with that? After how you treated me this weekend?  How you’ve been treating me the last few months?”

“Any girl would be happy to be in your place.”

“I don’t know when you became this self absorbed asshole, but that’s not the guy I fell in love with, the guy I planned my future with.  I’m sorry Jensen, but I can’t take the hurt and loneliness that have come from this relationship anymore.  I don’t want to cry myself to sleep over us another night, or wonder when you’re going to feel like talking to me again.” 

“After everything I did for us, if you think it’s really so bad to be dating me, then there is no reason to drag this out,” he spits out, his anger rising.  “Make sure to be out of the house before I get back to Texas.”

You give a small shake of your head, “if you knew how things were going with me.  You would know I’ve been staying at my brother’s house because I wasn’t comfortable alone in yours.  I don’t have much left there, it will be out soon.”   

You grab your bag and head for the door, stopping before you open it.  “I did love you, you meant the world to me.  I told Jared no matter what happens between us, I didn’t want it to affect your friendship.  I wish you the best Jens, and I really am happy for you and everything that’s coming your way.  I just wish there was still room for me in your world.”  Taking one last look at your now ex, you quickly exit the apartment.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 6

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[thisismeracing]

bono-schumi kiddo thots - godparents edition

once mick and bon’s f1 family find out they are expecting these people are pulling out their credit cards and buying every possible baby item they can set their hands on

kids mini mercedes car? delivered to their house

cute plush they saw at the store? in hand on the way to the register and holding onto it until they see one of them at the next race

the mercedes amg branded stroller and carseat? toto has shown up to their house in the middle of the night to hand deliver it (babe these are real products i just want you to know)

a shit ton of baby tommy hilfiger clothes that are unreleased? lew is folding them and putting it in the new wardrobe he bought for the nursery, before they even woke up (how did he get in?????? [he has a key])

a handmade crib that seb put hours of love into making? he’s setting it up while lew is folding the clothes

a collection of gina’s cowboy hats from her childhood? making space for them in the closet while lew and seb are doing their thing

and it isnt all monetary (even though they get enough items to fully furnish the nursery and have enough toys and clothes for at least another kid and didnt even have to worry about any of the other baby things because their village got it for them already) [seriously they didnt have to buy a damn thing]

like how susie has come over to either cook for them or drop off a dish she’s made

or how the kimi, nando, jensen, seb, lew, etc. come over one day to paint the nursery the color bon and mick have picked out but just haven’t gotten around to painting because of their busy schedules

or how while most of the guys who came over to help paint (how many of these fuckers actually need to be here in order to paint a single room one color?) val has made bon a cup of tea, and a cup of coffee for him to keep her company while mick supervises the painting session

or how lance and esteban will bring over fresh pastry around brunch time, to help in feeding the growing family

and it’s all a bit too much, but they don’t have the heart to tell them to stop so mick and bon just let their family shower their love on them

and bon is a little bit stressed about the whole “who do we put on paper so if anything happens to us they will be taken care of?” situation, but mick reassures her while they are cuddling in bed that there is no wrong answer and he will support whoever she wants to be godparents to their children, while kissing her gently and while sun fills the room they’re occupying

and they eventually land on a consensus

ellie’s godparents are susie and lew

because for one, little miss eloise is named after susie and lew is just so close to bon and she wants him in her daughter's life as much as he has been for her growing up

toto can be an unofficial godparent and i don't feel bad about that because he absolutely just slots himself into the role of grandpa right next to bono. [adding onto this nando absolutely gets called grandpa/abuelo because bon gets a good laugh each time nando reacts to hearing him being referred to as a grandpa.]

mikey’s godparents are gina a seb

seb because again this kid is named after him, but also because we cant leave seb out of being godparent. mick and bon would not let that slide. and then gina cause they also wont let gina not be godparent, and the fact she is mick's sister and bon's sister in law.

yeah people like lance and esteban are close to them, but these four they hold just a smidge closer. but not all is lost because they are very enthusiastically filling the roles of uncles for eloise and mikey. alongside people like val, kimi, jense, etc.

[okay i think im done, hope this made sense and you liked it <3]

☕️

I literally googled "mercedes amg branded stroller" bc I've never seen it before lol kinda cute, toto would def get them one of those

seb building a crib for baby bon is something I can totally see happening and it's such a dear thought to me*teary eyes emoji*

one hundred percent agree and love the godparents choice