#misc adventures of a dumbass

[musubiki]

the only way to get better at drawing men is to draw men, so heres lime and his daily workout routine ✨

[major-trouble]

Me: walks into my sister's house Hello yes, human contact immediately please!!

My sister: rolling her eyes There are better ways to ask for a hug.

[major-trouble]

Hello yes I am: autocorrect, fist pump, and SPREADSHEET

TAKE THAT @octinary !!

i just found out merriam webster has a time traveler feature that tells you some of the words that were “born” the same year as you. it’s pretty neat yall should do this

[musubiki]

rip mr roach 🪦

[major-trouble]

I'm so fucking tired y'all, but I got to see the absolute JOY on the retail clerk's face when I bought this new friend today so it can't be all bad?

[major-trouble]

My boss: Hey, we’re going to extend your contract until mid-June until we figure out the rest of the details about the project.

Me: Okay, that sounds great, gives me a little breathing room.

Also me: Immediately buys everything currently sitting in my Amazon cart.

[major-trouble]

I fucking hate flying. Not because “oh no planes are scary” but my ass does not fit in those tiny seats and passengers act like I am an Affront to God if my seat happens to be next to theirs.

Regardless, flight attendants are some of the most amazing people I’ve met. So, shout out to:

The guy on my incredibly short flight from the Island to Vancouver who spoke along with the mandatory safety briefing - in English and in French - despite the briefing taking, like, 3/4 of the flight time. His delivery was impeccable.

The FA on my flight from Atlanta to Toronto who, after I’d thanked her for approx. the 14th time, saying “I love doing flights to Canada, y’all are so polite!” She also sat at the back and let a tiny child use her knees as bongos for half the flight too.

The lady on my Scottsdale flight who, after introducing the cabin crew, said, “If you have any problems, talk to Sandy at the back there. If you need me, just pass up a 20 and I’ll be right with you.” Later she passed me an entire bottle of water because, “You look tired, hon.” (I’d been awake for 48 hours)

The guy who, upon seeing several people try to get up and get their things as the plane was taxiing to the terminal, picked up the PA and calmly said “Simon says, ‘Sit the hell down.’ We still have 25 minutes before we can open the doors.”

I wish I could remember all the FAs that helped me through the airport and onto my planes when I was regularly flying Toronto to Bermuda after my parents got divorced. Never once was I scared or upset.

(Sorry to add to this, but...)

In honor of me approaching my first 6 months mark as a flight attendant, here are some highlights from my time in this job:

When a lady stopped me gently to whisper that i had “mastered the art of kindness”

When an elderly woman told me i was “put on earth to be a flight attendant”

Each and every time someone complimented my nails

When i found an $8000 diamond watch left behind under a seat, gave it to a gate agent, only to have the passenger come running back 10 minutes later. Gate agent: man u wouldve been in trouble, huh? Man whom looked like a bond villain: i wouldve been SHOT.

Every lesbian ive worked with and had the nice bonding moment of “ur gay?? Im gay!!”

That time a man tried to get huffy with me because he wasnt in 1st class and i got to say “sir u can either sit in this seat or u can sit in a seat in the terminal while u wait to take the next flight”

When i had an emergency landing because the pilots lost steering and we all thought we were gonna die but then we didn’t and everyone just applauded the landing and didnt even complain about the 2 hour delay

When my flight was delayed for 3 hours because the plane wouldnt start so the crew and i just took a really long nap in the jetway

Every 4 and 5 star hotel ive stayed at for free

When we overnighted in the middle of nowhere in alabama and went to a sports bar at midnight. The bartender locked the door so it was just him and us and his friend, and we all got super drunk on obscure alcohols and i kicked everyones ass at pool

That time i had an emergency landing because one pilot had such explosive diarrhea that the other 2 pilots had to wear oxygen masks

When we overnighted in a casino resort in new orleans and ended up drunk on margaritas and playing blackjack with a bunch of old people at 2pm

Every little kid on my flights

Every dog i got to pet on my flights

When we were flying to nyc during julliard recruitments and half the seats were taken up by cellos

Being in airports late at night and seeing people sleep in the weirdest places because they just dont care (bathroom floors, under gate agent desks, etc)

When a woman forgot her actual baby on the plane

Woman: can i board first? Gate agent: are u special needs, active military or priority? Woman: no i just want to board first. Gate agent: maam i have 70 other people who also want to board first, im not looking for a line leader.

My very first working flight, when a man pointed to my necklace and said “is that a ball gag?” And, in my shock, i said “no, im gay”

[horrorboydyke]

Angst 3 or misc 16/17 for Davenzi?

Hey, anon!! I hope you enjoy! misc 16 and 17 were “YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME!” and “Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming.” (read on ao3)

David knew getting into a relationship with Matteo would be a messy adventure, from drunken late-night adventures with his friends to trying to escape the ticket collector on the bus with different, elaborate stories, questions and lies, to waking up early to Matteo cooking him breakfast.

He was prepared for the good, bad and the confusing moments but what he wasn’t prepared for was coming home from school, walking into the apartment to several sets of extremely muddy footprints on the hardwood floors and the carpet. David’s brain just went to thinking that people had broken into the apartment but that thought vanishes as soon as he hears Matteo and his friends playing around.

He comes around the corner and stops still as he sees that the boys are covered head to toe in mud, it’s matted into their hair, covering every inch of their clothing, sucking the colours they are wearing into a thick brown mess.

“What….the….fuck?” David asks slowly, the boys smile sheepishly at him while Matteo just stares at him knowing that they are all about to get their asses whooped.

“What in gods name happened to you four?” David asks and just stares on as the boy's fumble for an explanation, they talk over each other and David just sighs. He toes off his shoes, making sure not to step in the mud that the boys tracked into the apartment, he takes off his jacket and places his backpack next to the hallway cabinet.  

“Be honest with me, you sweet stupid dumbasses,” he says that last part under his breath but he means it. Jonas, Abdi and Carlos look at Matteo for him to explain what happened.

“Well, we were chilling down at the lake and one of us, who shall remain unnamed, thought it would be a good idea to go swimming, which we all thought was a good idea,” Matteo says guiltily. David furrows his eyebrows.

“Oh no, I remember saying that it was a bad idea,” Jonas perks up and says.

“And the water looked alright so we went in,” Abdi adds in before Matteo could resume the story.

“Uh-huh,” David says with a sigh.

“But it turns out that the water was completely muddy and gross which is why we are covered n mud,” Matteo says in a way that sounds like a “ta-da” should have been added at the end.

“Who could have seen that coming?” Jonas mutters and Matteo rolls his eyes.

“Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming.”

“Yeah well I did,” Jonas snarks back at his best friend.

“Shut up because David looks like he’s about to murder us,” Carlos says loudly.

David walks over to his boyfriend and his friends and claps them on the back of their heads.

“You said to be honest, stop hitting me,” Matteo laughs and ducks his head out of the way when David goes deliver another wack to his head.

“Go get cleaned up, all of you,” he orders, they all murmur variations of “yes sir”, most with snickers and a sarcastic tone.

Nothing would have prepared to see four adult babies covered in mud but that's what comes along with dating Matteo Florenzi.

[hangonimevolving]

Inside Out and Upside Downs

Hi all.  Thought I��d update on various and sundry agenda items going on in my life.  Never a dull moment ‘round here.

HEALTH

Firstly, let’s talk about my innards.  There’s been a whole lot of activity going on with regard to my innards of late.  Thanks to the excitement of my Disney flu adventure and my New Years ICU party, I am now the subject of a great deal of medical speculation and attention, from a variety of parties.  I have a standing weekly blood draw and appointment on Thursdays with my hematologist (fancy word for blood doctor) to monitor my platelet levels, and other misc blood-related information that concerns immunoglobulins and weird, mysterious things like that.  I have had two appointments, as well as a momma-jomma lab workup, with a rheumatologist (fancy word for doctor who specializes in autoimmune issues).  I’ve had an appointment to set up care with a brand-new-to-me primary care physician.  And in the middle of all of this, I decided that since I’m going to be in/around the hospital so frequently, I might as well do a short course of physical therapy for my ankle - I never got around to doing it, so now is the time.  So that’s a recurring weekly appointment on Tuesdays.  I’ve also got random other crap, like a random head MRI happening tomorrow, and I’m sure there will be random tests, scans, and studies that random doctors will order at random times, and I’ll have to fit it into the schedule.  I am being thoroughly examined, inside out.  And with all of these medical opinions, appointments, tests and what not - in the last 24 days, there has been NO concrete diagnosis or evidence about why this whole thing actually happened.  There are several theories, the two most likely of which are a) I have an autoimmune disorder.  Well, we already know I have one autoimmune disorder (a not-so-bad one, called Graves Disease/hyperthyroidism, which I was first diagnosed with in 2006, and which involves your own body perceiving your own thyroid gland as a foreign object, and attacking it with antibodies).  But now there is some evidence that I may have a second one, possibly a more problematic one, that is causing my immune system to overreact to normal viruses and things, and go on self-destructive rampages against my own platelets.  Dumbass immune system.  Now, what IS this second autoimmune disorder?  THAT we don’t know.  Because, the rheumatologist ran that momma-jomma test I was telling you about, and all that showed up is this one value called a positive ANA test which indicated “daaamn, there’s something f%^ed going on in this lady’s immune system!”  It was a very high positive result.  But, the specific tests to identify antibodies for known issues like lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, etc. were all negative at this time.  So.  To be continued with that whole theory..... 

Then there is theory #2, which is b) maybe this whole thing really WAS just the flu.  Maybe the strain of virus I got was really bad, and it resulted in such a pronounced war that it just took a toll.  Dunno.

Anyway.  We’ll obviously be following this medical mystery with my innards closely the next few weeks.  Oh, and one more thing: so my platelet levels are sorta trending down.  At hospital discharge, I was at like 313K, then the next week it was like 250K, then 180K, and yesterday, 146K.  They’re going to keep monitoring, and the hope is that the downtrend will plateau at some point (preferably above 30K), and then it will start to climb up when my own bone marrow gets its shit together and starts producing new platelets.  If that doesn’t happen - I’m looking at more IVIG infusion treatments.  So let’s see how it all goes down.

WORK

A second area of activity has been my job!  The spring semester at Uuuu! started on January 13, and I am teaching two courses this time around, for the first time since 2016.  I am teaching my studio dance course, per usual, but I also agreed to a late plea for help from my former department to teach a lecture/discussion course that I’ve taught jillions of times before, but haven’t done in about four years.  It feels good to be back in classroom teaching mode.  The course meets three times a week, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  So I’m quite busy, leaving the house around 8 am to drop the kids off at school, then getting back behind the wheel and making the hour-long drive to campus, arriving by about 9:30 am and teaching my two courses back to back.  I have a big huge hike between my classes too, because they’re on opposite sides of campus, so by the time I’m done teaching, it’s about 12:20 and then I have this big long hike back to my car, then the drive back home, and I arrive around 1:30 pm.  I grab a bite to eat, then at 2:45 its time to get the kids.  Then three days a week, they have their extracurricular activities after school, so I’m shuttling them to those things.  Then Tuesdays and Thursdays, all my medical appointments, which have been taking the majority of my mornings and early afternoons.  Phew!  This is all a far cry from about a year ago, when I had several mornings a week to go for a long run, either in my neighborhood or at the local state park, and I was training intensely twice a week with my Spartan SGX coach.  I’ve had to seriously curtail my working out - I took a spill on my first run following the hospitalization, and the entire family freaked out about my putting myself at a bleed risk if I were to fall, bump myself, or otherwise get an injury, even a minor one, while exercising.  This has been a huge crimp in my style, not working out - and if I weren't so busy with teaching, I think it would seriously depress me.  But I keep telling myself its only temporary, and soon we’ll have some answers to my situation, and I”ll be able to get back into it.  Till then, I’m trying to get back into meal prep and eating clean, and doing some mild exercise like light jogs and walks, light weight training, etc.  

ADULTING

My mention of weight training is perhaps a segue to this next update, which I’ll keep brief and annoyingly vague.  I am going through some painful adulting right now, that makes some moments feel like I’m being swallowed up by a tsunami.  I’m gonna survive... but, yeah.  I’m wading in the flood right now.  

Okay, now for some miscellaneous updates.  Mainly so I can post some pictures.  This has been very text-heavy for my tastes.

MISC

On the topic of clean eating..... did you know that both papaya and pomegranate are natural platelet boosters?  Supposedly.  I’ve been doing a lot of research on foods and other natural ways to help boost my platelet production, and these were the top two foods that were consistently mentioned on platelet disorders blogs and forums.  I confess I’m not a big fan of these fruits - but I’ve tried to put my tastebuds aside, and incorporate them into every day.  Happily, papayas are widely available in the Miami area year-round. 

I’ve handled the pomegranate thing by buying 100% pomegranate juice, and making cocktails of pomegranate + papaya juice (which is papaya pulp mixed in pear juice).

On the topic of foods and eating well - here is my guilty indulgence of late.  I ADOOOOORE ramen bowls.  ADORE.  And I know they are the opposite of low-carb and healthy.... but I have been making a ton of them at home lately.  I try to make them as healthy as I can, by 1) only using half of the ramen spice packet that comes with the noodles - this cuts the sodium to a tolerable amount (plus I drink lots of water), 2) I sautée minced garlic + approximately one full cup of shiitake mushrooms + approximately 1.5 full cups of baby spinach leaves in a dash of olive oil, and add to every bowl I make (mushrooms are full of B-vitamins and, alongside garlic, are huge immunity boosters, and spinach is full of iron and calcium, and is a good thing for me to be eating to make my blood sort itself out) , and 3) I often either crack an egg over the entire boiling mixture right at the end, or I add in sliced hard-boiled egg for extra folate and protein.  And I sometimes add in a handful of raw shredded carrots right at the end, for a little crunch, color, fiber, and beta carotene.  I *think* that I’m doing my best to make this indulgence food a little healthier, and tailored to my specific medical situation.

Soup has been a huge craving of late, because we had a surprising cold spell in Miami.  It got down to 39F day before yesterday!  That’s probably the coldest its ever been since we moved to Florida.

Afternoon snuggle time was especially snuggly - Dey and I were huddled for warmth!

My ability to run and work out at a high intensity may be somewhat muted at the moment, and this has been sort of a hard mental adjustment for me.  But I am trying to get outside and do things, because it makes me feel better, and also I imagine the vitamin D is good for me.  The other day, I was feeling pretty dumpy and blah - so I did something that for some reason I’d been putting off, “saving” for a special occasion, whatever.  I cut the tags off of a brand-new Spartan licensed active top that I’d purchased on Cyber Monday, put it on, and went for a light 2-mile jog in the neighborhood.  I felt silly in a way of making a big thing of it in my head - but the truth is, it lifted my spirits.

What else... Oh, this was exciting!  GUESS WHAT, dudes.  On Monday, I saw a real live MANATEE in the lake behind our house!  I could hardly believe my eyes.  A neighbor had reported on our community WhatsApp group just the day before seeing a manatee from her backyard.  She posted a picture of it, which I am shamelessly going to post here.  The manatee I saw, about 24 hours later, was different - it was considerably smaller than this one, I think probably a juvenile (not quite a baby, but definitely not humongous like this one).  But it was swimming slowly near the sea wall that abuts our backyard, munching on some sea grass just like this big manatee.  I did my best to run into the house and call the kids to come out as quietly as they could to see it - I think they caught a tiny glimpse, but our footsteps must have spooked it, because it definitely swam away quickly.  I hope we’ll see it again!

Photographic evidence that we are LEGIT Floridians who hang out with manatees :)

Last but not least - on the topic of water creatures, gotta give a shout-out to my Vev, who “leveled up” at his swimming lessons this week to Junior Swim Team!  The swim school has about 10 levels through which kids have to work to get to this point, and in the last ~18 months, Vev has completed them all.  I was somewhat nostalgic and verklempt when he got his ribbon this time - I feel like it was only yesterday that we took him to swimming school for the first time, where he screamed bloody murder and cried the entire duration of his 25 minute assessment, clinging desperately to his teacher and feeling panicky about letting go in the water.  How far he’s come!

(by the way, Dey is also doing wonderfully at swimming, and is only like 1.5 levels away from his own Junior Swim Team ribbon).  

So some of my life is inside out and upside down right now, it is true.  But some of it is Upside-Up.  I work hard EVERY day to focus on the Upside-Up, and what a treat it is to see.  These kids, the sunshine I get to enjoy here, the afternoon snuggle times, delicious food that also is good for me.... net balance is that life is good, I’m still alive and kicking, and everything is gonna work out fine.

Toodles!

[major-trouble]

@tumbleweedtech​

Anytime someone communicates with me tbh.

[jin-was-here-2]

Taglist (Because I Would Actually Like To Find Shit Now. Lol.)

Tags About Me

#Jin’s Gifs: Tag for my gifs.

#Jin’s Edits: Tag for my edits.

#Jin’s Memes: Tag for my memes.

#Misc: Tag for my other random things.

#Jinouchi.txt: My ramblings and bitching.

#Jin’s Bad At WWE 2K: My dumbass WWE game adventures.

#Jin’s Wrestling Song Association: Sometime I stick songs to arcs, feuds, characters, and stuff.

Ship Tags

#Ship: The Mighty Fall In Love: The crack (it’s valid to me tho ok)  ship of Drew and Roman that I love to absolute death.

#Ship: What’s Off To You Is Just Right To Me: Roman and Dean. Because they are such an odd pair but they go right to together perfectly.

Wrestler Related Tags

#Tankbrose: Dean in a Tank Top is the best Dean of all Deans.

#Pretty Pout Pout (While You Bottomed Out Out Out Out Oh): Anything that gives me those Bottom/Soft Roman feels.

#Ro’s Tat: Good references of Roman’s Tattoo for draw purposes.

#Ro Gold: Roman in gold gear ‘cause I love it a lot.

Wrestling Catch Up Tags

#Raw Rewatch/Catch-Up: 2013

#Raw Rewatch/Catch-Up: 2014

Misc.

#Ask

#Tagged

#Prompt Ideas

#The Endless List Of Intergender Match-Up Posabilities

#Ask Game

#OTP Ask Game

#Ship Questions

[major-trouble]

So my contract ends March 31st. And I know my boss likes me and wants to keep me in this position. The person I'm covering for is on long term medical leave, and the person they're covering for (it's complicated, stay with me) actually left the position a year ago and isn't coming back.

All this to say I don't know if I'll have a job in 3 months and I'm not sure if I should start looking or rely on the fact that I will probably get this job when they finally post it for replacement. Like. I hate not having a sense of certainty and the ability to plan long term.

[major-trouble]

Unfortunately, apparently I am :/

how evil are you

[biomic]

dan the planet man

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang don’t talk to me about thishogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff | i guess i can see both? i don’t know shit about harry potterbest quality: the way he gets excited to go on adventuresworst quality: like literally everything else this man is a mess and a foolship them with: you i guess. im not that into any actual dan ships in seven but i definitely think he’s hooked up with everyone besides the captainbrotp them with: the ultra squad because they’re all dumbasses just like himneeds to stay away from: memisc. thoughts: i wish he wasn’t so violent sometimes both as himself and as seven because i genuinely don’t think it fits his character from what i’ve seen of the show 

[ao3feed-buckybarnes]

Leap of Faith

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/34B8o1T

by LucindaAM

Here's the thing. Seventy years ago, it was Steve who jumped first and asked questions later and Bucky left to clean up the messes. Now though, things are different and it's the other way around. After his most recent near-death stunt, you decide you've had enough and lock yourself in the lab with one Tony Stark to forget your dumbass boyfriend for just a second.

There's just one problem. The lab also has a fully stocked bar and you've got problem to drown away. Just remember, not every suggestion Tony has is a *good* one.

A "You almost get yourself killed, so I almost get myself killed" story.

Words: 1725, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of The Misc. Adventures of the Murder Babies

Fandoms: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Reader, Original Female Character, Tony Stark, Friday

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader

Additional Tags: Bucky is an idiot, So you decide to be an idiot, long story short, don't drink talk to Tony Stark, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mostly Fluff, Panic Attack

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/34B8o1T

[major-trouble]

Assigned lawful evil because Cambria is the superior font - according to my workplace - so since I work from home, everything defaults to Cambria now.

Otherwise it’d be in Arial.

wait are there writers who draft in times new roman

are you guys ok