#minus the part about the bath house

[thedawningofthehour]

I had a dream where Bella was babysitting the Mutant Mayhem turtles (I haven't even seen MM but okay) and took them to like a bath house? And Raph was being a little shit to her and she wasn't having it, I remember that. And then she lost one of them on an elevator and had to run up and down the stairs trying to figure out where they got off.

And honestly that part is correct if this was a sitcom there would absolutely be an episode where Bella lost one or all of the kids and had to scramble to find them before their dads came back.

[infinitegalahad]

AMERICAN PROMETHEUS AND HIS ATHENA - CHAPTER 5

Pairing: J. Robert Oppenheimer x Female Identifying! Reader Summary: You and Robert, of course, were a couple. A serious one at that; no more games, judgment, hiding, and dancing around the idea. But it came with its many hardships. Word Count: 6.0k Warnings: LOTS. Please read. Infidelity, messy relationships, minor blood loss, loss of child, cursing, and minor sexism (not from Oppie). Please read and heed with caution. Notes: THAT HAT. OMG. MY HUSBAND IS LOOKING SO FINE THERE. oops sorry for being horny on the writing account, next topic! folks, buckle up, this is a lot! not only is the longest chapter, but its got a lottttt of drama happening. we're talking infidelity, marriage proposals, trinity, kitty being a bad bitch, edward teller in sunscreen, my drunk writing, groves being an ass hole and most importantly; TWO sex scenes. apparently, y'all loved my smut, and i appreciate your compliments! there's one more scene to come *insert winky face* mwahahha. i also know i said this is ten chapters, but this story is nearing it's ending, so there's one more real chapter. I'm going to try concluding the story within the week. I've been packing for school and I've got a long drive on Thursday. I'm done with most of my packing, so I will try to release the final chapter tomorrow. the epilogue will be much shorter. this has been one hecka of a ride, and the next chapter will most likely be a lot of drama. once again, your support has been amazing, thank you all for everything! <3 Taglist: @forgottenpeakywriter @queenshelbyy @chloriine36 @kodzuvk Taglist | Masterlist

It was five in the morning, and yet it didn’t feel close to it. The sky was pitch black with not a star to be soon. The only light of the source came from the dim light bulbs and the headlights of the cars that surrounded you. You lay on your stomach beneath an uncomfortable mat with your hand edging the corners of the binoculars you held, the other hand reaching for the pain of sunglasses to block the light that would hopefully come from the test bomb. 

Two years. Two years of potential hard work gone to nothing.

Awaiting the announcement of the detention, you laid and, in an attempt to hide your anxiety, thought about how the hell you ended up in the middle of New Mexico, working on some secret project for the government, and what it took to get you to be a small part in the Manhattan Project. 

You and Robert, of course, were a couple. A serious one at that; no more games, judgment, hiding, and dancing around the idea. But it came with its many hardships. 

The first straw was Kitty. 

She was much older, and from what you heard, extremely intimidating. While you respected and honored her, you also wanted to avoid her, as you felt that she did not like you at all. Robert had told her he was in a relationship with a “young” woman, emphasizing “young”, and Kitty read him the riot act. Robert thought she was overreacting, but you sympathized and understood. All you wanted was to be respectful, and honestly, avoid her at all costs. 

But of course, that didn’t happen. After one of your Friday sessions, which ended in Robert and you making love, you slept at this house and stayed until Sunday most times. You even had your own toothbrush and brush, using the feminine bathing products and flowery perfumes that Robert had gifted you. Hatomi had noticed and always said you smelled good. She had been having a possible affair with your French Literature teacher, but that was a story for another time. 

That one morning, you woke up with Robert’s arm on your waist, and a child staring directly at you. You identified him as Peter, as he was the spitting image of Robert, minus the parts that very much looked like Kitty. Blinking rapidly, you thought it was some bad dream, but the broken truck and bright, sad blue stare made you realize that Kitty was here with her and Robert’s children. 

You and Kitty didn’t take long to meet, with her being dressed and you being butt naked. 

Both of you had to smack Robert awake, who was appalled at the situation. There stood his children in front of a girl who was closer in age to them than their father and a very pissed-off mother. Naturally, this needed a very long conversation. 

Kitty glared at you while sitting on the couch with Robert’s shirt on. She, like Robert, smoked a cigarette; her cold eyes burning into your skin. Robert reached over to grab your hand, which you slapped away. 

“So you’re his student?”

You gulped and looked down, nodding. 

“And you’re getting your bachelor’s degree in what? The arts?”

“Maybe a Bachelor’s in both the arts and science, ma’am.”

She blows a puff of smoke into your face, making it feel very directed. As she gets up to get a drink, she eyes you and turns to Robert. 

“At least she’s smart.” 

As much as you really want to leave, Robert insists you stay too well, impress Kitty, and show her you can cook, provide, and care for him. It infuriates you, and as much as you look at the door, you force yourself to stay. You don’t have any clothes there, so you’re forced to wear Robert’s white oxford shorts and bottom lingerie shorts while working around Kitty. She blatantly asked if you had anything besides Robert’s clothes to wear, and you said no. She sighed. 

As Robert plays with his children, Kitty and you decide to make dinner, together. She wants to make Robert’s favorite, which you know by heart; chicken, boiled potatoes, and peas. You tell her, at least advise her, that Robert now likes his potatoes mashed and his chicken with pomegranate seeds on it. Kitty holds a large knife, and you swear that she looks like she wants to stab you with it. 

“Where do you get them from?” She coldly asks as she pours milk into the bowl to stir the potatoes. 

You look up from sauteeing the chicken with garlic and respond, “Get?”

“The Pomegranate.”

“Oh, his garden,” Your face begins to grow red, “He didn’t know he had pomegranate’s in his garden–”

“Until you told him,” Kitty interrupts. 

She stops cutting, and you stop mixing the chicken. There’s a shared silence between the two of you; filled with thousands of questions. 

You scratch behind your ear and sigh, gathering yourself before you respond. 

“Yes. He likes them a lot. I noticed Toni likes them, too. However, I shouldn’t–”

“You care.”

‘What?”

“You care about him a lot. I can see that,” Kitty goes on about. Once she’s done mixing the potatoes, she goes to the sink to clean the mixer. You can swear you hear sniffle. 

“There’s no other reason why you would be using him, y/n. I can’t think of one because there’s none. You’re troubled, yet good. You may be young and naive, but you care about Robert. You take care of him, and I, well–”

Kitty can’t finish her sentence. She drops the mixer and tries to hide her contained sobs and hunching over the sink, but you notice. You walk over to try and comfort her, but Robert’s not far. His voice echoes along with the laughter of two children. Hearing this, Kitty pulls herself together and sniffles. She walks past you with red eyes. You want to ask, but you don’t.

You learn, through numerous sources, that Kitty did not hate you, nor was jealous. She, according to one person, adored you. You found that hard to believe, but every time you sent the children gifts,s he made sure to write you an apology note. 

However, while you made room for Kitty, you utterly refused to make room for Jean Tatlock. 

At that point in your relationship, you and Robert had been going on relatively strong. He’s your boyfriend, and your Friday meetings had extended to more weekly meetings, so with stays at his house. Some people know you are an item; some are disgusted, and some are happy. None of this bothers you and Robert as you continue to be a happy couple; until it’s not happy. 

First, it’s the regrets. After each time you’d fuck, Robert would go on about how horrible of a man he is and how he can’t keep doing this. You do some further digging, and with some integration, learn that he’s not teaching next year. He’s off to some “secret location,” and within the mixture of his regret of “poisoning you”, he recommends that you two should simply stop and just leave each other. 

Of course, this breaks your heart. Hatomi, and your other friends, are horribly worried about. Your lab partner in your chemistry class, George, can see that your eyes are red and asks if you are okay. You respond that you are, having a feeling that something else is going on with Robert. 

At your next Friday meeting, you arrive early, but you don’t water the flowers, and you know why you don’t want to ever water them again. Robert comes to the door, ten minutes late, and when he opens it, you can see his collar is flipped up and his hair is a mess. As he takes a breath, you push past him and run up the stairs. You already see the pair of kitten heels by the door, and as Robert pleads for you to wait, you don’t. Once you turn the all too familiar corner to his bedroom, you hear a soft curse. It’s a woman’s voice.

Turning into his bedroom further proves your worst nightmare; another woman. Let alone, your own fucking psychiatrist; Jean Tatlock.

In your sessions with Jean, she’s been breaking more code of conduct, talking about the new man she's seeing, saying she’s having “one heck of an affair”. Based on her descriptions of him, from the lineage and nicknames, you put the pieces together, and all of them lead back to her and Robert. 

“Y/n,” Jean calmly pleads. She covers herself with a blanket as she gets out of bed, “Stop. Wait. We want to talk-”

The words “we” make your eyes swell with tears. Spinning on your heel, you beeline towards the stairs, but bump into the person you least want to see; Robert. He puts his hands on his arms, but you violently shrug and push his chest away. 

“Get away from me–” You hiss. As you back up, you sense Jean behind you and scream the same thing at her, “--Back, both of you. 

“Y/n,” Robert gently calls your voice, holding out his hands, “I’ve been meaning to tell you-”

“Tell me fucking what?” You bark at him. You point your finger back to Jean, “Robert, honestly, out of all people, my fucking psychologist? The one who describes my medications? The person I tell everything too besides you? The one I saw today just two hours ago for my weekly session?”

Jean is sobbing behind you. You like her, but yet, don’t feel bad. She’s much older than you; she should know better. 

“I had no idea–”

You scoff and let out a fake laugh, “Idea? Sure,” You look back at Jean, whose mascara is running down her face, “Don’t cry; you knew. You’re smarter than you look, you knew. You know my background, and you would go out of your way to do this? And now? We all fucking know. Robert, now we all know you were cheating on your little pure virgin girlfriend with her fucking psychologists, whom I considered to be one of my friends.” Looking at Jean, you say that last sentence, ensuring she understands you are no longer her client, let alone her friend. 

Walking down the stairs, Robert grabs your arm and forces you to stop walking. You refuse to look back, but you can hear his breathing, which makes you scrunch your firsts. 

“Y/n, I understand your anger. This is far beyond wrong. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t. I think it’s best that you take the time to finish your education and, if I recommend, mingle with others your age,” Robert explains with a condescending tone, which makes your blood boil.

“I can no longer carry the guilt on my shoulders. I used you for too long, and now it’s catching up with me. I’m sorry to do this to you, y/n, but I-”

You violently throw your arm back, shaking Robert’s hold on you. Through Robert’s breathing and Jean’s sobs, you storm down the stairs. Your face feels hot, and so does your body, but you ignore it as you stumble out of the house. Ignoring the calls of your name from Robert and Jean, you run out of Robert’s house and down the hill. Once you are away, you finally let go and let the hot tears run down your cheeks. Finally, the devastation and pain hit you like a bullet. When you’re not around any trace of Robert or Berkeley or any of it, you let out a screaming sob of frustration, anger, and sadness. 

It takes you a short while to recover. 

You no longer like to associate Robert with his name. Once again, he’s reduced to Dr.Oppenheimer; your terrifying physics professor with endless icy eyes and a tendency to smoke, not the man who took your virginity and showered you with expensive gifts that you refused to throw out. The relationship between you two has been severed and erased with your function serving as professor and student. Your meetings stop, at the end of the Semester, Robert gives you an A with an E for exceptional effort. Your parents receive your report card, and out of all your grades, are most fond of your Physics report. Dr.Oppenheimer writes that you are an active participant whom he had the pleasure of working with personally in the term. As they read out his comment, your memory flashes back to it all; the dinners, the music, the fire, the terms of endearment, and the whole lot of it. 

Your mother, through a puff of smoke, remarks that he seems like an amazing man. Forcing a smile, you agree. 

Once you return after the Holiday break, nothing much has changed in Berkeley. You’re still alone yet doing well academically, Hatomi’s on the verge of ruining a marriage, and you and Robert have not spoken, according to your calendar, in over two months. 

And then you meet George. 

George is your lab partner in Physics. You have known him since your orientation at Berkeley, from the forced events to the lackluster parties. He’s always had an interest in you, and has made it clear from day one; from wanting to be your lab partner to even asking Hatomi if you preferred chocolates over flowers. When you two would sit down together, he would always initiate small talk and ask how your day is going. You’d respond and spark up small conversations about your lives. 

Into the first week of December, George asked after class if you wanted to go see Citizen Kane with him. He bought two tickets, and offered to buy you anything you wanted, but understood if you were busy since in his words, you seemed even busy on Friday afternoons. 

You knew Robert was watching. You quickly glanced up and saw him at his desk, smoking as he pretended to observe tests when really, he was observing the interaction between the two of you. 

“I’m actually no longer busy at all on Fridays,” You loudly say as you want the words to echo and burn into Robert, “And yes, I’d love to go to the movies with you.”

“I’ll pick you up at Stern?”

“I’ll be waiting.” 

George arrived an hour before and took you out for an early dinner. You knew that he loved to read like you, but you also learned he was fluent in three languages and was overall extremely educated. He made sure to ask what you enjoyed, telling you to talk about your favorite books, movies, or anything that you loved. You had told him to read the first few chapters of Citizen Kane to familiarize yourself with the movie. George went red and said he had done the same, offering that if they enjoyed the movie, they could see together and talk about the plot. 

The movie was good, and in addition to the soda and popcorn he bought you, he also took you back to his dorm and fucked you like there was no tomorrow. As he humped into you, you clawed at his back and looked up at the cycling. Everytime you close your eyes, you see and think of Robert. You forced George to look at you throughout the sec and kissed him patiently to void all thought of Robert. 

There was no doubt that Robert was bothered by you and George’s interactions. You made it not so obvious that you were George’s girlfriend, while George did; from the hushed whispers and small touches he’d give you in class. While George would be doing such small things, Robert would be intensely staring from a distance with straghinted fingers and furrowed eyebrows. At one point, he changed lab partners in an attempt to keep you and George apart. You still worked together on every single lab, and to Robert’s dismay, aced every single one. 

In the beginning, you remember Robert leaving flowers in your cubby during Labs since you’d always arrive about ten minutes early. He’d tuck them into the pocket of your lab jacket. Without fail, and everytime, you threw each flower out. Eventually all together, you stopped showing up on time and made sure to show with George. 

Robert soon began to disappear from your thoughts and life. For the remainder of the year, you only spoke to him in class and nowhere else with cold, curt interactions. George had replaced Robert in all, shape, way, and form. It was strange to go with George since he was your age, and not in your former case, your thirty five year old Physics professor who cheated on you with your friend and phys-

But that was all in the past. 

Two years had gone by. Robert was the thought of the past now and you kept yourself busy between obtaining a Bachelor of Arts and Science in Literature and Physics, all while maintaining a very serious relationship with George. You spent most summers with him on Nantucket sailing or collecting seashells. Sometimes, you’d think about the “what ifs'' of Robert taking you to New Mexico on a horseback adventure. That had once been a reality, but now would forever remain a fantasy. George reminded you that yes, there were good men in the world. You both had your many issues and ups and downs, but both of you agreed that infidelity was never on your list. 

Eventually, each cycle completes itself for everything. During the fall of your Junior year at Berkeley, George proposes to you on a weekend trip up to Napa. He’s smiling the whole way through, and says he doesn’t want to wait any longer and heads straight to the courthouse to wed. 

You want to say yes, you really do, but you can’t. No matter how many times you say you love him, you know that you love him as a confidant, but not a lover. 

Rejecting his proposal, that ends every tie with George. Things are sour for a week, but Hatomi helps moderate a conversation between you two. George sobs, which in return, makes you cry. You apologize to him, and tell him he deserves better; telling him that if he sees a pretty girl, he should take her to the movies and buy her what she wants. George smiles and thanks you for loving him, hugging you, and wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors. He writes you a letter, but you refuse to open it and leave inside of your copy of Citizen Kane, shoving it into your bookcase for it to gather dust. 

 After you and George are finished, there’s no time to grieve as you were being dragged into another situation. What seems like any other ordinary walk to your metaphysics class results with you alone in an office space with an intimidating general. He did not introduce himself, but you gathered his name as Major Groves. He held a thick file on you, questioning your life and digging into every little detail. He pressured you on your two brothers and roommates, who happened to be associated with the Communist party, asking if you had any association. You held your hands up and was nothing but honest; saying that while Hatomi still went to your meetings, your brothers had stopped talking about the idea once both of them married and had their own families. 

Still, Groves persisted and became aggressive, accusing that your friends and you were some type of danger to democracy. Communism isn't your thing ever, but you had respected it. Many people you surround yourself with were either former communist or still into it, not that it bothers you. You thought of Robert; whom never associated, but you knew he gave money. 

Which was strange. With your thought of Robert, you heard a silent shut. Groves sighed and you looked, and to your horror and saving grace, it was Robert. 

“Thank god you’re here,” Groves let out a huff as he leaned against the desk. 

“Major Groves,” Robert nodded his head as he took off his porkpie hat. He stood away from you, but beside your chair, “Is there any issue with Miss Y/n?”

Groves, still looking gruff, pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Well yes, and no. You see, I find it alarming that she has both family and friends in association with the Communist party. I also understand her, uhm,” Groves hesitated to say it out loud, “Former relations, according to you. It raises suspicious since well, she is both in association with a communist, many of whom who are female in which he know where that ends, and slept wi-”

You were about to walk out, not wanting to be dragged into whatever mess this way, but Robert’s calm voice echoed and immediately shut up Groves. 

“General, on the defense of Miss Y/n, I can assure that her ideologies and gender are mennail to the subject of the meetings. As for our past relations, there are of the past. I ask that you not criticize or grill her without my presence,” Robert’s voice commanded. He looked at you and back at Groves, clearing his throat. 

Your heart skipped a beat as you shifted in your head, clasping your hands together. Robert looked at you, and you returned his gaze, quietly thanking him. 

Once Robert entered, Groves' interrogation stopped and he got what he pulled out of class. In his words, something “big” and “important” was occurring in an undisclosed location in New Mexico. You pieced together that a weapon of destruction was being built, since Groves brought up in your profile that your skills in Physics primarily resize in the nuclear and quantum mechanics, as described by the physics course taken at your time in Berkeley. You had even taken time out of your academic schedule and did research as a job with some of your professors. All of your Physics teachers concluded that you were extremely qualified and knowledgeable in Physics, and in one of them, being Robert.

Robert had gone on about your time in his class, saying that you were one of his brightest students, whom he had given recommendation should be part of said project. He said he was willing to talk with Berkeley to configure a way for you to leave and graduate on time to come and work on his location. Major Groves said with Robert’s recommendation, he would be pleased to approve your security clearance. Groevs also mentioned that he would give you time to figure out things with you, and also implying, Robert. 

Groves had excused himself, leaving you and Robert alone. It had been two years since you two had been alone together, let alone really conversed. You still sit at the desk and look down, not wanting to look at Robert now, admiring your manicured nails in hopes that you wouldn’t chew off the nail polish. 

“Thank you, by the way,” You muttered, “You didn’t have to.”

Some things never change, and you look up to see Robert, elearning against the desk as he looks at you, smoking out of a pipe. 

“But I did. Not that I ever minded doing so.” 

The tension never left, and both of you know it. Bouncing your leg, you lean forward and gather the courage to look at Robert. 

“Why? Am I allowed to know why the hell I’m being dragged into this?” 

“Y/n, you know I can’t say why. I can say that it is important, as you would say, in the grand scheme of the universe,” Robert explained, “We are small pieces, and this project is a much larger force. A force that can end all wars.”

Confusion still infects you. Some of this makes sense, while other parts do not. You think hard back to the past and Robert’s say on the war and weapons, trying to gather your thoughts on the situation Robert has dragged you into. 

“The Germans are out of the war, that’s all I can truly think of,” You mentioned. Once we see Robert lean, your body compels you to lean forward as well, “Is this weapon of mass discussion?” 

Robert looked uncomfortable by that saying. He shifts uncomfortably and stands from his desk, slowly making his way over to you. You want to protest and tell him to not, but you gravitate towards his presence. His hair is a little more gray, and he is still cold, but as handsome as ever. 

“Call it what you want, but possibly. It’s a weapon to end all wars, ideally, the conflict in the Pacific,” Robert alluded to. You forgot how close he came to his desk. He puts his hands on the edge of the desk and you lean back, looking down. Your cheeks when red, reminding you of your younger days with Robert. Robert’s fingers anxiously curl over the wooden desk top as you let out a soft sigh, containing a noise you did not want to be heard by anyone else. 

“There’s something else,” You blurted, “You want me for something else.”

It’s radio silent for a second. Robert’s fingers shift, and you heavily sigh. 

“Robert–”

“I want you for your intelligence,” Robert says as a confession. His hands spread against the desk. As much as you try to control yourself, you can’t. Your hands uncurl from your grasp and cover his, grasping them. 

“I also wanted you.” 

With that, Robert asked to kiss you, and you didn’t even say yes as you jumped from your chair and crashed your lips into his. Nearly falling back, he grabbed you and dragged you to the ground, refusing to let go of your body and lips. It’s desperate and messy, evident that the two of you missed each other's presence. Robert asks to remove your clothes, and you let him do so. Once removing your panties and stockings, he sticks his hard dick into you and fucks you like there is no tomorrow. He covers your mouth as you cry tears of happiness and sadness, sobbing his name. Once he finishes inside of you, you hug him and sob your eyes out. Roberts holds you and says he won’t let go. 

Both of you know you have a lot of shit to work through. He had Jean and you had George. Robert knows he’s fucked up, but he still loves you,a nd as much as you don’t want to admit it, you love him as much as he loves you. The whole reason you turned down George was because you still loved Robert. It wasn’t easy for you to forget , and with Robert, he clearly didn’t. 

He promised to fix things if you came to Los Alamos with him.

And you did. 

You managed to graduate from Berkeley a year early. Groves said that he would write to your family that you were involved in a top secret Government project, promising that he would try to cover your back as much as possible. Once you were out of this project your family would question you, but it wasn’t important. After all, Robert was right; you were small things in the grand scheme of it all. 

Los Alamos is hot, cold, and isolating. You are severely depressed, but you are able to manage that with your work and Robert. The work on the bomb is no easy task; it’s full of pressure, arguments, and disagreements. You feel intimidated, surrounded by much older men, whom you feel have more power than you do, despite knowing that you are just as capable as they are. With this stress, Robert is your reliever. Every night, the two of you switch, finding a way to comfort one another in these depressing times. 

 Now, you live full time with Robert. Nothing is perfect, but the two of you talk and make things work in the best way possible. 

You tell him about George and how you turned down his proposal. Robert coldly laughs, saying that you deserved a good man, and that you should have accepted. You said you couldn't because you loved him,a dn as much as Robert thinks you are lying, he loves the honesty that comes from you. It proves to him that when he fucked you, that you were always going to be his. He tells you that he’s cut things off with Jean, promising on his knees that he won’t ever respond to her calls ever again. You force him to promise you or else you’ll leave him. Robert looks like he’s going to sob when you said that, and he repeatedly insists that he will never do such a thing to you ever again. 

You snap back to reality when they make an announcement that they will test the bomb in three minutes. The men around you anxiously chatter as they prepare for an explosion. You put on your sunglasses and look around you. You catch Edward Teller, basking in his sun chair with a face smothered in sunscreen and sunglasses. He looks down at you, and you look away into the dark night, anticipating the explosion. Your heart skips a beat, and to pass the time, you sink back into your racing thoughts. 

In Between this drama, time passes in Los Alamos. Between the bomb being congested and your relationship with Robert being rebuilt, you fall sick. You’re nauseous, vomiting in the morning and sometimes the day, your period stops, constipation, backaches, you feel like you’re dying. You’re able to hide this from everyone but Robert, who assumes what he thinks it is. One trip to the infirmary confirms that you’re two months pregnant, bordering three. 

Initially, you're shocked, but thinking back to the classroom, it all makes sense. 

You’re ecstatic, despite being extremely sick. You take time off from your job, and Robert makes sure to tell everyone that you have come down. I'll have a bug and will return within a couple of months. The only people who know about the pregnancy are you, Robert, and the doctor. Robert makes sure to keep the mater private. 

Like you, Robert is thrilled at the concept of you having a child. You’re rather young and nervous, but Robert promises to take care of you and your child. No longer can you do things on your own without Robert swooping in; whether that be cooking, cleaning, or even reaching for medicine. 

The two of you lay in bed with your feet entangled. Robert caresses your stomach as he has done before, softly going over the small bump forming in your stomach. 

“I thought I had been putting on weight,” You bluntly admitted, rolling your shoulders back. 

“And even if you were, I would love you the same as I loved you before,” Robert plants a kiss into your hair, gently patting your stomach, “You look as beautiful as ever, love. Even with our child, you’re still so tiny. You’re just as I remembered you-”, His hands grab yours as he interlocks your digits, “-in that classroom at Berkeley. You shook your leg and your skirt rode up. As you bit your lip, I looked, and I fell. I feel hard, y/n. I love you.” 

You smile to yourself and close your eyes, squeezing his hand. 

“I love you too, Robert.”

“59 seconds until the drop!” A voice booms over the loudspeaker. Anxiety, nerves, and excitement fills the crowd of Sciences, including yourself. You put a hand on your stomach, feeling the flatness. Sometimes, you can still feel that bump. It’s been a long time, but she’s still there, haunting you. 

You lose the baby at seven months, and remember there being so much blood and tears. Every night after losing the child, you cried yourself to sleep and apologized to Robert. Robert held you and comforted you at that time. He kissed you and held you close, saying that all was well as long as you were him.

You violently sobbed, thinking back to your days of reading Greek myths  at his rental house on Shasta. Just as Hades had given Persephone the seeds for her to say, Robert had impregnated to you and brought you to his desert exile. And like Persephone, you stayed. 

Just as tears were beginning to form in your eyes, a light dried the tears right out of your eyes. 

At 5:29:45 AM local time, the stillness was shattered by an imperceptible click, triggering the activation sequence of the Trinity bomb.

A brilliant, searing light erupted on the horizon with a radiance unparalleled by any natural phenomenon. The desert floor was instantaneously transformed into a blinding white sea of light, casting stark shadows of the nearby objects. The intensity of the light seemed to defy the boundaries of the human eye, as if a new sun had temporarily usurped the heavens.

A seething ball of fire engulfed the desert in those milliseconds, swelling with ferocious energy. A towering column of smoke and dust spiraled upward, its outline illuminated by the incandescent glow. The ball of fire and the mushroom-shaped cloud of debris swelled and merged into a surreal symphony of colors – brilliant whites, fiery oranges, and deep reds – like a celestial painter's brush strokes across the sky.

Trinity’s detonation unleashed a symphony of destruction that resonated not just across the desert but through history itself. The ground quaked with a seismic force, as though the Earth itself trembled at the unimaginable power harnessed by humanity's newfound knowledge. A resounding shockwave rippled through the air, shattering windows miles away and rattling the bones of those who stood witness.

The sound that followed was a peculiar and haunting one – a low, rumbling roar that bore no resemblance to the traditional thunder or even the roar of an aircraft engine. It was as if the very air had been torn apart and reconstituted into a sound that could only be described as the collective gasp of nature itself, a primordial cry at witnessing its own mastery being tested and defied.

The visual and auditory onslaught seemed to defy the boundaries of perception, leaving spectators both in awe and in terror. The Trinity test had successfully harnessed the fundamental forces of the universe and turned them into a weapon of unimaginable devastation. In the wake of that blinding light and resounding sound, a sense of profound unease settled upon those who bore witness – an understanding that the world had irrevocably changed, and humanity had ventured into a new and uncertain frontier, where the implications of our newfound power were as profound as they were perilous.

The cheers are loud and violent. People are thrilled that those two years of hard work have paid off. They're dancing, drinking, celebrating, and you feel happy, even partaking in such matters. 

When the bomb is dropped on Hiroshima, the celebrations truly ensue. The excitement from the test early explodes with raw joy. Everyone knows that the ear is coming to an end as they drink, sing, dance, cheer, and cry. Emotions flood as people celebrate, and you partake in them for a while. As you do, you look for Robert but he’s nowhere to be found. You search within the crowd but you can't identify his pork pie hat or pipe. 

Fleeing from the celebrations, you flee to Roberts office. His secretary isn’t there, so you make this way to your office. You find him standing by the window, simply looking at the crowd. As they move, he stands perfectly still. His hat is thrown on the ground and his pipe is thrown on his desk. 

“Robert?” You sing-song his name, quietly walking over, “Oppie?” 

There’s no response. He’s not acting happy, nor does he look at it. He looks devastated. 

His eyes are watery, and you can immediately feel the guilt on his shoulders. 

There’s no need for words as you walk over and crash into Robert. His arms wrap around you and with that, he quietly cries into your shoulder, sinking with you into the carpeted ground. 

[bipolarinboston]

Mental Health Month posts from Facebook (because sharing multi year posts suck)

2023

So is it Mental Health Awareness Month? Or could it be Mental Health Acceptance Month? I guess it's a matter of education. But I was inspired by the fact that April is Autism Acceptance Month. I don't know if the sentiment is the same.

* I am out at work as much as I feel comfortable. I lead an internal DEI group and we introduce ourselves each meeting using roles outside of work. I'm a queer person who uses They/She pronouns and I'm a peer with lived mental health experience. My boss and a couple coworkers know I'm a presenter for In Our Own Voice because I invited them to present for June's DEI meeting. But I am NOT comfortable sharing my diagnosis to work (minus my friend) and I can't present myself sadly.

* About this time last year I volunteered to be a 'tech buddy' DBSA is STILL USING ZOOM. This is good for me because the commute home from Belmont after 9pm would be unbearable. Tech Buddies are the zoom host, and help take attendance and manage the speakers queue with raised hands. Going to DBSA let me know I'm not alone in a way I hadn't experienced before.

* My individual gave up her office early on in COVID and is permanently virtual. My group therapist retired in July and I had to say good bye on zoom. His replacement is private pay, but I'm using FSA funds to justify it. I started seeing my Psychiatrist in person only for him to retire 6 months after group did! I'm currently without a prescriber for the 3 time since 2016. Charlestown MGH is overloaded with patients and understaffed. The one difference this time is that I'm stable.

* I'm still running, but I started stressing about it in October, and I think my COVID bout (which was mild) is still impacting my performance. My photo a day streak is STRONG. I even called into a podcast who was doing an episode on "what works for me" because it really does help me get out the house. That and obsessing over step counts.

I enjoy making mental health content during May, but I feel like I'd just be repeating myself this month. Enough has changed from last year to write out this post. If you're still reading I bet you're very aware and I hope you're even accepting at this point.

2022

Mental Health Awareness Month is here again and I'll be posting for the third year.

In a perfect world I could be out on my public twitter. In a perfect world I could disclose online without any fear that come next job hunt, someone in HR will find that and take a pass on me. In a perfect world I could disclose at work even though I don't need any accommodations. It's not a uniform system but I've cobbled together fb, instagram, and my anonymous bipolar twitter account as safe spaces to share. I'm trying to feel less segmented but it's difficult when real world repercussions are a possibility.

Still zooming with NAMI's In Our Own Voice. They're starting to get in person presentations but it's just easier for me logistically to stay virtual. I've zoomed with plenty of places I'd never be able to get to in person.

This time last year I joined DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance) Boston, a peer led org that hosts support groups. I'm busy Wednesday nights zooming with the "Young" Adults group. A bunch of millennials and gen z folks using their lived experience as shorthand to bond. It's meant a lot to me and I'm walking with team DBSA for this year's NAMI Walk.

Covid still drags on. Last couple of Mays I wrote that I was glad I had Bipolar. And it's still true. My toolbox of coping skills is flush with things I knew, like taking baths with epsom salt, and things I've learned during the pandemic, like how I developed a running habit. My take a photo a day streak inspires me to get outside. And perhaps most importantly I can still see my prescriber, my individual and my group therapists remotely.

So happy Mental Health Awareness month. You're probably very aware at this point.

2021

I’m taking part in Mental Health Awareness Month again. I am still not out on Twitter*. I still cannot publicly disclose my bipolar, or even just 'mental illness' on an account with my full name for fear of personal and professional repercussions. In these kinds of spaces, it is much easier to navigate out as queer than out as bipolar. *This January I started an alternate anonymous twitter account so I can better engage with the neurodivergent, disabled and mental illness communities. (You'd be surprised at how much those overlap)

Before all of this began, I signed up NAMI's In Our Own Voice. You’ve probably heard about it whenever I mentioned the NAMI Walks I’m doing in a few weeks. We started zooming in August and I want to say it was one of the best decisions I made in terms of advocacy and stigma busting. I have presented to different groups, college nursing classes, one of the inpatient units at McLean Hospital, and several groups of Family to Family, the program mom took 15 years ago when I was initially diagnosed.

After over a year of Covid, I'm still GLAD I’m Bipolar. There's a collective mental health flare happening right now. But I have my diagnosis, meds, my therapy, and coping skills. I have a toolbox of things to try when I am stressed out or sliding backwards. And perhaps most importantly I have established relationships with my individual, group and my prescriber. I am so lucky that I've been able to see them remotely.

So happy Mental Health Awareness month. Now you're probably even more aware.

2020

Mental Health Month Post: I realized something: I am not out on Twitter. I can not publicly disclose my bipolar, or even just 'mental illness' for fear of personal and professional repercussions. I am more out in my queerness than in my mental health struggles. How ironic is that? I wish things were different.

When I signed up NAMI's In Our Own Voice, I was hoping to use it as a tool for greater advocacy but also to increase my "outness" as a bipolar person. Even though the training was Presidents Day Weekend, I never thought that a pandemic would put all presentations on hold.

Sure I participate in chronic illness (disability) twitter and will 'flirt' with outing myself. If you read behind the lines, check who I follow and talk to, you may be able to out me. But I talk about my crohns and humira, not lithium, and I leave therapy to my journal on patientslikeme.

But at a time like this I'm actually GLAD I am Bipolar. There's going to be a mental health flare when Covid starts to wind down. But I already have my diagnosis, meds, my therapy, and coping skills. I already have a toolbox of things to try when I am stressed out or sliding backwards. And perhaps most importantly I already have established relationships with my individual, group and my prescriber.

So happy Mental Health Awareness month. Now you're probably more aware.

[mihotose]

obviously with shuu guesting its an english heavy episode lol (rip)

a letter says they should call shuu "shuu-chan" which obviously theyre nervous about since shes a senpai but she says shes fine with it (and informal speech) since she grew up abroad

they ask her to read out the english they got in the letter with the right pronunciation and she said "mirakura" with the regular english R which surprised me

since shuu loves travelling they ask about nagoya. shuu has been there for a live (it was nijitabi) and also she stayed with akarin at her parents' there during the new year (konachi: like you're married?)

shuu says that she couldn't go to her own parents' house (in australia) so she went to akarin's but whenever she tells people they do say its like theyre married lmao

shuu: i was born in japan but moved to australia when i was one and then moved back when i was eighteen kankan: so you were there eighteen years? konachi: ? its eighteen minus one (kankan through laughter: konachi i love your tsukkomi....)

shuu introduces herself in english (kankan tries to translate) and konachi says ruri should introduce herself now (konachi: like a "hey guys")

i think the producer tells them to introduce themselves and konachi protests that she hasnt studied english since her first year high school

kankan: hello my name is kanna kan. im from japan. my favourite food is nowは、now is! 蜂蜜、あ。japaneseで言う、japanese say蜂蜜紅茶！ah, honey tea!!!! (i think the producer told her lol) nice to meet you! thank you

konachi: hello my name is tsukine kona. my favourite drink... matcha tea latte! 全部milk。よろしくお願いしまーす

shuu perfectly matches the dododo timing! to say the charm of love live school idols is the cute songs that give you courage and make you feel better!

konachi asks what shuu keeps in mind during lives and she says she wants to be united with her character such that the audience thinks mia's on stage kankan: thats really useful... good luck in aichi (long pause) my future self konachi: OH i was like are you not coming?

shuu recommends they take a bath after a live to reset their adrenaline and wash away their fatigue 👍

for her personal question konachi asks what 天才配信者 is in english and shuu almost in her mia voice goes a genius livestreamer!!!! kankan asks why she wanted to know and konachi's like for megu-chan.

kankan then asks what their 私たちのテンションはここから…ここまで！is in english so shuu teaches them and they decide they want to say it on aichi day 2. they'll listen to this part of the radio until the last minute to learn it! or. ask if staff would put it on the prompter for them. in katakana

kankan asks for advice to make her english sound better and shuu talks about the niji injoke about oriboyo (olive oil)

kankan says shes been teased for her english like in legato's "sing a song" she can only pronounce sing as シング. shuu gives the advice that if she opens her mouth a little more it might flatten her tongue so she can pronounce english sounds better and they try to practise saying mirakura park with an english pronunciation

shuu says niji and mirapa have their own merits so its good that they can sing the same song (tokirun) and make it different

they receive a letter about shuu and her love of puns that says kankan seems like the type to like puns too. kankan says she isnt but shuu makes her laugh hard with some puns so she decides shes been won over now

konachi says hasu has a lot of big laughers, like nassu. and kankan says shes a responsible girl but shes also pretty weird. she'll try making a pun at her and see how she reacts

shuu says she really likes the cotton=utopia set and she gets really hyped by kaho being in the background of ruri's

they do their catchphrase at the beginning of the next episode and immediately wish theyd said it in english instead but they forgot so they call shuu out prematurely to help

staff gave konachi a full letter written in english to read out 😭 so mean. for what its worth i could understand what she was saying even if she didnt lol

shuu talks about how hard kanji is and trying to figure out how to read something during afureco and when to use keigo etc and she doesnt look half japanese so when she messes up she just looks rude

when she lived in australia she had a three hour japanese lesson every saturday and her family spoke japanese so she knew that much but when she moved to japan she read newspapers and books to improve

kankan saw on twitter people saying she seems bad (at english) and she liked all the tweets lmao (she likes literally all tweets about her to be fair)

another similarity between mia and mirapa is they joined partway through the year. shuu says she was nervous about the lives since everyone else was used to it. kankan says she was the same in july when ruri didnt have megu with her in the fes×live

shuu says mia already had toy doll which is kind of a love song but lemonade is more sweet and sour and like a fourteen year old

shuu really likes the idea of it raining during a live and the tsubasa la liberté outfits

to decide whether they achieved this week's goal shuu asks if theyve learned anything and kankan says Kindness. when konachi was reading out the long english letter she was nodding along and encouraging her and she made english fun

konachi says "shuu-chan-senpai" has a good atmosphere and shes easy to talk to

words theyve learned: konachi: streamer kankan: also

shuu was worried at first about guesting on the radio since she's their senpai but it turns out theyre fun to talk to

konachi says she had fun learning english and they wish shuu could have a little english corner every week

one of the letters is from a "sachi" and so they all go "senpai...!"

kankan asks if they were nervous for 1st and they all laugh because she was the most nervous of all of them. she was most nervous in fukuoka but it lessened over time

nonsuke was nervous while waiting in the wings but once it actually started she was fine. konachi said its like her kaho switch gets turned on by then

kankan said her pre performance nerves kept going until yupyupyup. after that, mirapa doesnt appear for an hour, so at first they kept practising backstage while waiting right up until they went on but over time they started to relax. the advice they received from furirin-san and shuu-chan-senpai really helped 👍

kankan and mirapa listened to shuu's english pronunciation advice again before aichi day 2 but needed extra help so they DMed her and she helped them out

before the performance uichan was always making notes with sayaka (*nassu). nonsuke made notes too, for what she was going to talk about, but always ended up saying something different anyway. nassu starts messing around before the show though, shes the mood maker and helps relieve everyone's nerves

they already said this in an MC, but at the beginning of yupyupyup konachi draws a square, kankan a circle, uichan a cross, kocchan a triangle

they talk about the group hug, and uichan says her line after it always comes out rough because of how close they squished up against her

nonsuke yupyupyup oshi point: the "YUP" in the choreography that they practised a lot

uichan yupyupyup oshi point: nonsuke and nassu making eye contact while the others are drawing their shapes. kankan says she always looks at uichan at this moment but uichan is always looking at nonsuke, and she didnt want to draw her attention away lol

uichan starts reading a letter and reads 私 as watakushi.

nonsuke says starting off with suisai sekai and reflection in the mirror brought her back to april, so she performed with kaho's feelings from that time

uichan says she feels relieved in the beginning of suisai sekai when she can see kaho (*nonsuke's) shadow moving behind her out of the corner of her eye

konachi was backstage during zanyou of course but she watched it on the monitors every time. she made sure to change outfits properly so she could watch

they saw them practising The zanyou move so many times with nonsuke using her serious face that when she started smiling it was such a genius move

they only did zanyou once in fukuoka, since the original intention was to swap it out on day 2 for dear my future, so they performed it with the feeling that theyd only get to do it once

the response to zanyou and seishun no rinkaku was so strong that they performed them on both days in tokyo and aichi (kankan: tokyo/aichi is a setlist made from everyone's voices)

on tokyo day 1 kaho has a small smile (she is starting to understand kozue's feelings)

for aichi uichan says she came up with justifications to change it. she wanted to hug, itll be okay because its a song. she asked yumi-sensei if she could change it and konachi said at first it looked like a headlock lol

uichan had been saying she wanted to hug for a while so they turned it into a story. aichi day 1 was kaho savouring the hug but with her face turned towards kozue

mirapa were thinking of hugging during identity because of zanyou but werent allowed. uichan say they should hug kankan's legs (running joke)

for holiday∞holiday they were really particular about how they held hands and the camerawork. in fukuoka they were shot front on but in tokyo and aichi they were shot from the side so theyd match the lyric video

uichan says she has a lot of things she wants to do during holiholi and she worries that she'll get forget the lyrics but once she holds kaho (*nonsuke's) hand she stops worrying. shes always slightly frowning while she sings but thats the time she looks really happy

nonsuke practised the holiholi wink for its fes×live performance in may and shes glad she did it in a real live this time. konachi can only wink with her right eye so thats the one megu uses lol

konachi likes the choreo in trick & cute where kozue feeds megu a poison apple and they nya but yumi-sensei said its too scary ("can you do it cuter than that 🥺")

they like how smiley kocchan gets during the dance break and how excited nassu is for her solo dance (she was told to do what she likes for that part)

uichan: i like measuring her legs ☺️ kankan: come on

(talking about the fuyu no okurimono set) kankan: ive been a sachimegu oshi recently

everyone loves kozue's twin tails!!!! everyone begged uichan to recreate them and she said "be quiet" lol

other things they brought up for this set: kaho's hair, ruri's chowchow, kaho's sayacardigan!!!, konachi says the hasunosora uniform coat and bag are cute, uichan recommends you listen to the voice line to hear kozue talk about sachi

(about the petite pâtissière set) konachi: mirapa christmas date

uichan and kankan say the tsubasa la liberté cards are game breaking so you should get them for the lgp. kankan has all of them but uichan hasnt so she concedes that kankan probably knows better for once

they laugh at how unusually cool tsubasa ruri's "lets fly" line is

they all really loved performing on the carts!konachi says she wished they could have gone around the venue ten times on them

kankan says that uichan made eye contact with her mom while she was on a cart and so she became a ceribou oshi lol

uichan said her mom came to see them in fukuoka and shes a sayaka oshi

nonsuke says that since they were separated and far apart on carts during kawaii no susume she told the audience to tell uichan shes cute lol (?)

kankan and konachi say during the rehearsal they were really shouting hard. like "nonchuke!!!" "youre so cute kozue!!!" and when kawaii no susume had ended konachi shouted "congrats on your marriage!!!" (nonsuke: i heard it!! konachi: yumi-sensei told me to be quiet though lol)

kankan loves genyou yakou because it was first performed at ruri's first fes×live and so it was their first song she was also there ("i want to join the genyou yakou sukisuki club too!") while konachi loves sugao no pixel

kankan tells them they were so good and uichan goes "you have an otaku face..."

uichan loves dear my future and she said she probably already talked about it in an interview somewhere and konachi had to tell her she talked about it on This Radio

she said she performed it in a way thats slightly different to how she did while recording it. though they only performed it once (same as dollche with parallel dancer) and there was some reasoning to that. dear my future is less of a ceribou song and more about kozue. and its staged such that theyre moving further from each other

they added the other four members to nonfiction hero show because they felt lonely lol and when the idea of them being sentai came up kanchan said "i want to do it!!!"

after tokyo day 1 yumi-sensei told nonsuke she was smiling a little bit during that part and told her to do her best to keep a straight face for day 2

nonsuke complains that the second years didnt naruto run off stage like the first years did and uichan says its not that they didnt but rather the first years chose to do that themselves

kankan said the first years were so cute and nonsuke has to go "its Your song." kankan also brings up that on aichi day 2 the first years linked arms and skipped off together

uichan says what she and kocchan did on that day was... agokui [uichan lifted two girls' chin that day... and this one wasnt even on the stream view] she had asked kocchan what they should do earlier so she did consent 👍 uichan wanted to hug but an agokui is what happened

kankan says that nonfiction hero show doesnt have calls like the other mirapa songs but they were still able to perform it such that everyone had fun, including the six of them

they mention nassu's natsumeki pain ponytail and then they talk about konachi's horns. she wanted to match megu-chan but they didnt have enough time so they decided on the horns

kankan also had to get her hair out of the twin tails and nonsuke and nassu were always nervous that they wouldnt be ready in time

uichan said the natsumeki pain outfits are embarrassing because of their bare legs ("and when you think of legs you think of kanchan's!" "cmon"). konachi says the natsumeki pain outfit really suits nonsuke

konachi says she felt like summer only ended once they had finished hasu 1st

they mention that during the november fes×live when they sang tsubasa la liberté it was raining in real life

on christmas eve konachi has to work but kankan will probably be having a party with her family. she was talking with her friend about santa and she said in her family santa stops coming once you reach twenty while in kankan's he stops coming when you get married lol

also nassu's started drinking qoo lol

kocchan's going to have a party with ash-kun

kankan: i dont think ive seen it in an anime but the view at tokyo dome was just like an anime konachi: like it was like a painting? kankan: YEAH

konachi says that because they came out via the same entrance as them the millionstars girls told them to do their best which was really cool of them

kankan says she was so nervous but it also gave her power, like she could sing for the rest of her life

nassu says that since they wore both their dream believers outfits and their school uniforms she felt like they were able to show their school sides and their idol sides

they talk about nonsuke calling out to the "hasunosora no koto sukisuki club" during her mc and they say theyre glad they chose that as their fan name since its kind of strange so it makes people want to look into them. kocchan really pushed for that name so its amazing how it went from zero search results to tens of thousands and trended

they loved nassu screaming DOME! in the middle of KNOT. she said she really wanted to say something she could only say at tokyo dome

they did tragic drops on the centre stage nearly surrounded 360° and kocchan was nervous but it also gave her strength

nassu thinks its amazing how just two people could stand on such a huge stage together. she was worried she wouldnt be able to do it and hasunosora werent able to join some of the rehearsals so she was very anxious but the real thing was just surrounded by lights and heat

it was so hot if the song didnt end it felt like she'd start floating (lol) she's glad they did tragic drops on the centre stage because if theyd done KNOT there she'd definitely have been able to fly on all that heat

kankan feels like they received power from ruri-chan and megu-chan to be able to stand in tokyo dome and perform nonfiction hero show (lyric: chiisana butai kara ookiku koe wo)

nassu calls mirapa hasunosora's raid leaders lol. mirapa appeared in the genki block on both days and shes glad they were people's first exposure to hasunosora

they mention everyone remembering holiholi as the days of the week song. theyre glad ceribou were able to do that godly song and get people interested!

kocchan didnt want to be too much of an otaku but when she was told she'd be doing tulip she cried. she had decided to do it sexily but she was so happy she kept smiling instead

kankan says the six of them had been doing a day-before rehearsal and kocchan was sparkling

nassu says when they were backstage people kept telling her "sasaki kotoko just told me 'kiss kiss kiss!!!'"

they start talking about kocchan's cat ears for cat squad and konachi says she has the cutest photo of kocchan wearing hers but nassu and kankan say their photos are cuter!!! they argue for a second over their photos before bringing up their videos of kocchan in cat ears before kocchan tells them to upload them on twitter and getting people to vote (the winner will get exclusive rights to kocchan photos next time!) (here and here)

nassu learned the choreo for tracing defender herself at home and theyre all glad that everyone recognised her hard work in performing right after her school exam period

kankan says nassu said "if i can get through these ill be invincible!!!" and konachi says nassu's eyes were really scary at that time

nassu says all her senpai in that song were super amazing, like she looked to one side and it was shuka-san and she looked to the other and it was ookuma-san

shuka gathered all the love live members for that song during rehearsal and fistbumped them which made her feel better

nassu looked up alive factor to figure out what kind of song it is after she was told she was going to do it and she realised it really suits sayaka [shes right it really does]

she was next to yamane-san from imas and they did a lot of singing while looking at each other and she could see so many emotions on her face

kocchan collabed with rikyako on both days and after cat squad asked if she could take a photo of her since she had said she isnt good at taking selfies but it was blurry lol

she took another one with the mindset of wanting to make her senpai look cute and it came out well so shes decided from now to think that way with her own selfies

before cat squad they all neko punched each other and told each other to do their best

konachi says the making on the bluray will definitely be good because they had so many cameras everywhere it was like paparazzi

kocchan says that when tsuzuri says Oshimai in her ryouran victory road verse she meant her self introduction not the live!!!

kankan says she wishes all of hasu could have done it too and kocchan says she wishes they had written verses for everyone. konachi says she wants a whole cast ijigen version lol (around one hundred people)

they gush about how cool anchan was for a bit

if megumi had a verse they think itd include "megu-tou" and "captivating the world"

konachi says megumi's would be similar to fuyuko's and kankan suggests sayaka's verse might be similar to shioriko's (she wants that no no no! rhythm)

nassu's ideas for sayaka: hai! kore anata no obentou! / jikan mamoru? no no no!

konachi really likes kanata's verse, kankan likes maru's, nassu likes momose's

kankan says they had around fifty songs this year (*actually 44 including the unreleased but performed ones plus ijigen big bang but still a lot) and they say they could totally get a guinness world record with that many. nassu tries to work out how many they have with made up numbers and got 45 somehow

nassu talks about how they had a fes×live between fukuoka and tokyo that changed the setlists but also changed the characters and so she wanted to change her performance to match sayaka's feelings from october. kocchan said its amazing how hard she worked even though shes still a high schooler

kocchan says tsuzuri worked hard in november so she'll do her best to show a new performance to convey that in hasu 2nd

nassu said deepness is difficult since it has a lot of english. kocchan says she liked how they performed it in different outfits, and that they somehow didnt look mismatched

kankan says she feels deepness can only be done by those four, and that she and konachi couldn't join. konachi adds they can't speak english or dance like they can

like zanyou seishun no rinkaku was only meant to have been performed the once but they were able to do it in tokyo and aichi thanks to the audience response. the high five at the end wasnt originally there, it was kocchan messing around and adding it in that they then built upon

konachi says she really made a fuss insisting they do seishun no rinkaku when they made the new setlist lol plus the fact its a cart song so it ties in with the bicycle imagery

kocchan says she loves parallel dancer so shes sad they only did it once. nassu says she loves kocchan's voice in it

kankan gushes about how good jibun diary was and konachi adds she loves how the performance already looks like a music video and the part at the end where they close the book (kocchan said she was worried it didnt look like a book but is glad it did)

nassu says jibun diary is said to have been a one person song but was changed from one person opening and closing it by themself. in the instrumental sayaka snuggles up to tsuzuri's shoulder and falls asleep like she feels safe, and then when they wake up sayaka pulls tsuzuri forward, and she says its sort of synchronised with november

kocchan said during rehearsals she wanted to consider sayaka and tsuzuri's relationship so she asked if she (as tsuzuri) could be one step behind or be unable to take a step forward, and shes glad they let her

konachi says she loves take it over, so she liked peeking out from the stairs by the walkway to watch (since mirapa followed take it over)

kocchan says take it over is a cool song but they did it in the natsumeki pain outfits lol she was worried people would laugh but shes glad it was still cool (kankan says they have nice legs)

nassu says take it over is about tsuzuri and sayaka's past and future so the ticking at the beginning is probably to do with marking time, but after it they turn around and move forward

they say they want to do dance lesson with×meets again! whether as units or more!

dollche are asked what their favourite ceribou and mirapa songs are and for mirapa they say at the same time: identity! kocchan says during the rehearsals whenever she heard identity starting she went to sit in the audience seats to watch

they talk about how identity is a traditional song, so it surely makes you wonder about past mirapa senpai. nassu calls rurino-chan and megumi-senpai chosen ones lol

nassu jokes they should just have a corner where they talk about identity and they all start wanting to have a place where they can talk about lyric and story interpretations. konachi says she also wants to ask about how collab songs and the members were chosen at ijigen

for ceribou kocchan likes genyou yakou which she also watched during rehearsals. she likes how kaho sings the chorus when shes usually so genki

nassu likes sugao no pixel. she was watching on the monitors and she liked how everyone was dancing while trying not to hit people with their penlights lol. she likes that it suits kaho because of its honesty and how cute kozue is

they talk about how they were yelling in the audience seats during kawaii no susume again and how it was cute watching ceribou rehearse while looking slightly confused

they talk about all the happenings during trick&cute that make them want a member view like in fes×lives

nassu says uichan and kankan cried during the double encore dream believers

when talking about the link to the future set obviously kankan and konachi have to slip in some kozue imitations pleading with kikai-san

they say they all look a little more grown up on the link to the future jacket art 🥺 konachi says ruri has been looking real ikemen lately

kankan calls konachi a genius for winning old maid in the new years sp. konachi calls kankan out for making the same mistake as yuina in the aiueo battle

they say they want to see ruri and megu in their coming of age ceremony furisode! kankan says she thinks megu's would be surprisingly simple and konachi says she wants ruri to leave her hair down

while writing kakizome they say it makes them want to go on a trip. konachi says she doesnt mind where they go, plus they have a long break in january (they went to kyoto)

kankan's hasunosora resolution is to expand their charms so they can gather more fans (like how many people are needed to build a stage)

konachi's is to catch up with everyone in hasu 2nd!! since mirapa only joined in summer they havent had that many songs so 2nd should be the story of the club as six members

kankan's radio resolution is, separate from the radio points going towards earning new mirapa songs, she wants a radio theme song or a jingle! maybe something like tensai nano kamo shirenai? rosa-sensei? (*mirapa's lyricist)

konachi's radio resolution is to have a public recording!!! actually theyre kind of lonely since they havent seen their fans in a while so they want to do it next week (❌) maybe the two of them in the afternoon and the six of them in the evening

while writing their private life resolution kakizome they say they wont be surprising since theyre always together and nothing is private lol they all know each others schedules

kankan's private life resolution is to make time for herself! shes grown a lot with/as ruri this past year so she thinks now she needs to do some growing as herself. (they talk about how crazy nassu's schedule is. konachi says she'd die if she were nassu. like, she comes to work wearing her school uniform. so kankan wants to follow the example of their youngest member and learn how to balance her personal and work lives)

konachi's resolution is to have dinner with everyone!!! lately she feels she only goes out with kanchan lol. and she understands that everyone has been tired so they wanted to go home, but after hasu 1st and ijigen things have slowed down so itd be nice to go out sometime

kankan brings up the legendary pizza party hasu had last january that she cant talk about in detail (??)

lately konachi's been really into mochi with melted cheese and kankan's been into chicken with honey

konachi got to do two collab songs with a big gap at ijigen so that was fun! love bon appetit was a group of cute girls and kocchan was imitating their choreo backstage lol

she was surprised that megumi would be given harmonics, and she doesnt know why she'd been chosen, but she feels like the story behind harmonics relates to her

also since they used stand mics in harmonics every time she turned her skirt hit her mic. the lifter went up so high she was scared but it ended up cool 👍

inoue-san, with whom kankan did lets sail away alongside shuka, has a really cute voice so she thought she had to do her best as ruri too. backstage shuka asked if she (shuka) would be okay since her voice isnt cute like theirs which made kankan feel less nervous, and like nassu who also performed with her, shuka fistbumped her

kankan really liked the voices of both of the seiyuu she did hakuchuu a la mode with and she did her best as the main singer and on konachi's behalf. she sang megu-chan's parts with ruri's style, since it wouldnt be good to just imitate megu. she took a photo with the other two but forgot to ask for permission to post it so it lives on her phone now. but they were so nice and listened to her talk about hasu

konachi brought up that at the end of lets sail away the final pose is making a telescope with their hands and looking through it. shuka did it with both hands but inoue-san had a hand mic so only used one hand to make a telescope and put the hand holding the mic on her hip. kankan also had a hand mic but used both hands to make the telescope so it blocked her face lmao

theyve now reached twenty points so have earned their second song!

im like totally done for. started listening to mirapa radio. (havent listened to a love live radio since uraraji in 2017!!!)

*the title of episode 1 was "we've been waiting for 1.5 years!" which is true. they were cast in early 2022 and were training for a year before debut

the first time kankan and konachi met in person they had a dance lesson and konachi was just So ☆ Tired she Had to have a nap on kankan's lap ♡

however the actual first time hasu all met konachi did it remotely and she remembers kankan as a strange person with a loud voice and big body language w ("eh shes my partner...?")

if they mess up dododo in practice they have to do it again ten times on the spot, and since kanchan says shes a bad dancer shes had to do the intro choreo a lot

they listened to ep 1 of the radio while getting their makeup done for the bloom the dream live

kankan then came to record ep 2 of the radio wearing the bloom the dream live tshirt (meant as a surprise for konachi)

the beginning of bloom the dream where they entered the stage matching the video of their member was hard for kankan as well w since she has to match ruri's doyagao (ten rep system applied here too)

since the dododo outfits are sleeveless and kankan doesnt wear sleeveless clothes she was worried about her upper arms and was asking their dance teacher how she could lose weight there who was like eh... idk...

konachi likes how even though dollche's AWOKE outfits are black they glitter when the light shines on them

konachi thinks nonsuke is so cute and keeps trying to make her do cute things lol (kankan: uichan will get mad!)

kankan: its like i dont want bad things to happen to her... like if an evil organisation comes ill get rid of them for her

when they first performed hakuchuu a la mode everyone cheered so loud they were worried they would drown out the "1,2,3!" at the beginning but then everyone quietened down really quickly

kankan: megu-chan's voice is like gentle and sweet while ruri-chan is like spice

about ameagari street kozue: kankan "what are you thinking about when you look at tsuzuri-senpai, kozue-senpai?"

they gushed about kozue with her hair down in episode 8 and kankan said she wants to see kozue with megu's twin tails. they are looking forward to seeing kozue with her hair down in the future please!!!

favourite dollche song: konachi - tragic drops; kankan - sparkly spot

favourite ceribou song: konachi - mix shake (she likes the towel waving and the choreo)

they love how kozue and kaho's voices blend together and the suisai sekai outfit obi and pompom rings and hair accessories

konachi said she doesnt really like formal language so asks everyone to write casually in the letters from now on ☆

kankan was about to eat her favourite dashimaki tamago from her bentou when konachi came up to her and said あ～ん so kankan was like i have to give this to her now!

and then again, kankan was drinking ramune and konachi did the same thing, so kankan brought it to her mouth and konachi bit her finger

"she was out of control earlier but it seems shes calmed down now for the broadcast"

they make that "sorry... i love you" / "every day is a holiday 😊🎵" joke

hasu is mostly neko-ha but kanchan is inu-ha. she likes chow chows like ruri

they read an example letter for a future corner about someone who can have conversations with cats on the street. cats dont like kankan but they say kocchan is the type of person like in the letter. she has been getting closer to kocchan's cat recently though!

konachi likes tsuzuri and kozue in ameagari street tsuzuri ♡ and how in ameagari street sayaka sayaka is smiling but kaho has a doyagao

kankan thinks deepness kozue takes place in the first half of the story, and they think its amazing how the number of kozue+tsuzuri cards are increasing

kankan also likes how kaho has her face in her hands in deepness sayaka lol

kankan wants a second years song while konachi wants a first years song. they think eien no euphoria suits the second years but not the first years

kankan nonsuke uichan and nassu went out the other day and kankan sang dododo with uichan and nassu. afterwards uichan said only mirapa can sing that song since its so different to what ceribou has lol

they say kocchan actually suits mirapa songs and want her to sing dododo or hakuchuu a la mode

(they also want shuffle units!!)

they found it funny that kozue called kaho and sayaka かすがい and the thumbnail that was used for ep 8 on the twitter lol

kankan falls asleep to videos of people having barbecues. konachi falls asleep to asmr videos of turtles eating watermelons

konachi doesnt think hasu could go camping together; it doesnt suit the second years. uichan can cook but shes very particular about her spices and such. but the first years could camp together

in ep 7, the one released just after ruri's first appearance in the main story, konachi starts it by herself by reading a letter from kankan which transitions into kankan reading it herself. konachi finishes it and says "alright! ill do my best on my own this time!" before kankan cuts in like "im actually here!!!!" and the radio background image changes to the usual mirapa one

the sehasu cooking episode surprised kankan because shes always heard konachi burns things shes frying and konachi said she got scolded for burning fried rice one time and has never tried it since but as they made a dessert it turned out fine ☆

kankan said everyone was laughing at how she peeled the dragon fruit but she doesnt understand because she doesnt know how youre meant to do it!!!

[probably being told by a producer] kankan: eh it seems youre meant to cut it with a knife konachi: ehh.. oh well!

even though dollche's cooking was such a mess they said it actually tasted good. konachi has been looking for the sweet potato butter they used

kankan's mom tried to make ceribou's dish but it was bad .

they received a letter in kansai-ben and talked about how you wouldnt expect uichan's from kansai. she seems to try her best not to let her kansai-ben slip out. nassu is from kyuushuu but doesnt seem to speak hakata-ben. konachi said she got interested in dialects once and tried to learn how to speak in some

they think the girls look good in light blue like the penguin ice outfits and their summer uniforms

"the number of tsuzukozu illustrations has increased"

konachi: there isnt a moment where fujishima megumi is not cute

"itd be nice if we streamed games someday"

ceribou = run, dollche = can, mirapa = fun

kankan would get ruri a pink bat from the batting centre

"what would you get megu-chan?" "permission to leave the [waiting] room"

kankan wants to join a circle for the grand prix but since her username is kankan its obvious its her lol

konachi realised on your mark (6 members) doesnt have any english but deepness (4 members) has a lot so maybe mirapa is holding them back...?

on haunted houses: kankan and konachi - dont like them; nonsuke - afraid of the dark; uichan - trustworthy!!; nassu - the type to not freak out; kocchan - probably not a big reaction even if she was scared

kankan made fun of nassu during the nama but she also hasnt gotten a LOVELIVE... shes also bad at turning off auto

the day before the exercise measurement sehasu kocchan practised all the tests

the genyou yakou/mirage voyage cards - sayaka's is the best of course. kankan also likes how kozue is looking at the sales even though shes an ojou-sama lol "its her commoner side"

besides staying together when they went to kanazawa hasu have never had a sleepover so they want to have a training camp! (kankan: beach; konachi: mountains)

"i want us to have a barbecue!" "we already had one?" "oh yeah"

they filmed all three sehasu vlogs on the same day! mirapa in the morning dollche in the afternoon ceribou on the evening. after they finished filming mirapa had mcdonalds

they made fun of nassu putting the camera on the floor during dollche's though since it made it look less like a vlog lol

"if tsuzuri played basketball everyone would fall in love with her" (about tsuzuri playing basketball in the sports festival)

cast at sports festival: nassu - team leader; nonsuke - cheerleader (like kaho) doing a soranbushi. they dont see the second years doing it -> afternoon tea festival (kozue would win)

the hasu audition was on the same day as konachi's third year either cultural festival or sports festival and so she skipped it to go to the audition

they like dollche's songs but theyre so hard they cant sing them at karaoke

"was there anything a cast member said to you that made you happy?" "when you said its easier to sing when im with you"

kankan likes when kocchan praises her during afureco or when uichan says her singing is stable. konachi just saying good morning to her makes her happy. she had a deep conversation with nonsuke on the train the other day and that made her happy

"we actually dont watch the story we watch it the same time as everyone else. so when its released we all watch it at once and get excited on LINE"

megu as an appliance would be a mic/camera -> laptop

splash!!!! kozue looks like a mom lol

nassu and sayaka both suit ponytails

"i want to dedicate my year as a twenty year old to megu-chan"

seishun no rinkaku is konachi's new favourite dollche song

kankan: since we became five or six we usually dont have a tsukkomi in the cast konachi: everyone's a boke right kankan: wait it was probably the same when there were four members

when it was four members sometimes kocchan would tsukkomi but now konachi (megu) has joined properly kankan was really happy since she loves konachi's tsukkomi

they didnt know that the qr code at the end of ep 10 was there until they saw people talking about it and hadnt actually scanned it for themselves. kankan didnt know how to read it so konachi told her how to do it and when she figured it out she Gasped

theyve both watched ep 10 multiple times and konachi cried

that day they ate sweets and konachi gave her the wrappers and when kankan took them to throw away everyone around them was like "kan-chan what are you doing?" and when kankan is in a room konachi will wait outside the door <- konachi's strange behaviour

dododo was recorded before the story so kankan didnt think it would be an emotional song but as the story came out and it made nonsuke cry she realises it is after all

when recording it they were told to sing it in a bright and a bit silly way instead of putting emotions into it (like ceribou) but konachi likes it like that. megu-chan would rather sing it in a cheerful way

the first time she recorded it kankan used up so much energy she had to lie down on the sofa lol

they loved tsuzuri's training camp radio. since there was no video you have to imagine whats happening

konachi sent kankan a sound file on LINE and kankan thought konachi had written a song since mirapa radio was ending (since kankan likes writing songs) but it was just a cut of kankan speaking in dialects from past radio episodes Lmao

after megumi sings 後押ししてくる in natsumeki pain sayaka gives ruri a little push towards megu, and after that when ruri sings 砂浜に書いた メッセージ 届け she writes LOVE

kankan didnt realise until konachi told her just now that during the line 早く気付いて #Love you! each of the girls (sayaka->kaho->ruri->megu->kozue->tsuzuri) writes one of the characters in "#Love♡"

since ruri was given the o kankan just thought she was drawing a circle lol

they received a letter about tongue twisters and kankan struggled in rehearsals with kokon touzai

natsumeki pain ruri has a chow chow strap on her waistband so kankan says she wants it to be released as goods

[soursvgar]

Their favorite spots to kiss you ♡

A/N: trying to post this for the 3rd time since tags refuse to work ^^" this is a dateables version to the same post i had with the brothers, as requested by anon! i hope you enjoy it ♡

dateables (minus Luke) x gender neutral mc ; suggestive in some parts

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

ෆ Diavolo ━ Back

Everyone had their hunch about you and Diavolo, but with the two of you denying any rumors, their guesses were as good as none. You decided it's best to keep your relations a secret, not wanting to urge any suspicions from the other students that you were receiving favorable treatment, or harm Diavolo's eligibility for the throne. Consequently, any kisses you managed to steal were hasty, rushed and not quite satisfactory.

It was nights like these when you snuck out of the house of lamentation and into the castle that were Diavolo's favorite; You alone in his bed, all his to conquer. Barbatos of course, turning a blind eye as he's instructed to and only leaves the extra essentials waiting for you on the prince's bed. At your return from your pampering shower, dressed in the bath robes you were picked, you settle in the cozy bed. Soft, frilly silk sheets draped over you with Diavolo perched on the other end of it.

"It's been a long day without you..." He mutters, not wasting a single second as his hands skillfully rid you of the loose garment. His lips trace a trail along your spine and up to your nape, marking you in his most favorable way - only for his eyes to perceive, and only yours to cherish.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

ෆ Barbatos ━ Wrist

Similar to Satan, Barbatos is an honorable man, and quite the old fashioned romantic type. However, manners and courtesy being an inseparable part of his job, he reckons a kiss on the back of the hand to be a bit too official for someone he harbors deep emotions for. He's especially fond of you wearing long sleeves, as he gets to pull them up and expose your skin before kissing it, almost as if it were your own personal little secret.

"Lucifer asked me to drop this by for Lord Diavolo, but as he's not present, will it be okay to leave it in your possession?" You walk inside the castle to find Barbatos bent down in the garden, picking fresh herbs for his tea brewing. His ears perk up at the sound of your voice, turning around to greet you with an accommodating smile. "Of course you can. I will see to it that the young lord receives this package as intended." Drawing the item out of your grip, he doesn't skip the opportunity to faintly graze your palms with his fingers before placing it on a nearby surface.

"Now... mind leaving anything else in my possession?" With a playful expression, he doesn't await your response as he pulls you closer by your arms, placing them around his shoulders. "Such as?" Intrigued, you question with an anticipating grin. Barbatos in his turn interlocks your fingers with his own, efficiently bringing your wrist closer to him to leave an open mouthed kiss imprinting on your skin.

"You."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

ෆ Simeon ━ Nose

Anything innocent you do, Simeon eats it up. He finds you so incredibly adorable that he can't pass up any chance to show you affection. Not wanting to give in to temptation too much, he constantly accumulates creative ways to avoid making a kiss last too long, and his favorable of them all is to press short, feather like kisses to the tip of your nose. A tender manifestation of his love towards you.

"Simeon." You tug on his collar, sighing for the nth time since the two of you entered the room. "I think it's time you give up on technology, you've been staring at this email for twenty minutes now, hoping it would send itself. Let's go freshen up, shall we?" You suggest. Simeon nods, standing up from the chair to stretch his limbs.

"That's probably enough computer time for today. I can't wait for tomorrow's lesson!" He chuckles at your defeated expression, ruffling your hair. "I'm only joking, but I really do appreciate your efforts to help me learn." Leveling with you, he carefully brings your foreheads together as he cups your cheeks within his palms. "Is there any way I can repay you for your hard work?"

Your gaze is hopeful, flickering back from his eyes to his pair. Simeon grins at your indicative glances, lips hovering inches from yours while he closes the gap between your faces, only to draw back once you try to lean into a kiss. Shaking his head, he places a peck to your nose before he pulls away from you, satisfied with his own teasing behavior.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

ෆ Solomon ━ Head

Solomon is always proud of his bright apprentice. In fact, he absolutely adores everything about you, be it your perceptive mind being able to figure even the most complicated spells and perform them outstandingly, or your endless determination to crack the things you can't perfect as quickly. He finds himself awestruck at pretty much every single thing you do, but he can never find the words to describe how much he appreciates you. It's his body that moves on its own, placing a doting kiss to the crown of your head, that tells you everything he can't express in words.

"You were brilliant, as usual." Solomon applauds. He had been putting up to test a couple of new spells he needed your help with, which you flawlessly executed. You thank him, yet you can't shake the sensation that he isn't being his usual self - he doesn't seem to possess his typical confident aura, and his fingers had been fidgety throughout your entire session. "I appreciate your compliments, but... is something the matter?"

"Hm, with me? Everything is as ordinary." Solomon reassures; however, his sentence appears to be hanging as he searches for the words in his mind. "Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something. I was wondering... if you're doing anything after class? It's been a while since we met for anything other than studying." He inquires, visibly nervous.

It's almost as if his muscles physically unclench when you respond with a positive answer. Smiling, he moves towards you to place his hands on both sides of your face; thumbs delicately stroking your cheeks, he plants a soft kiss to the top of your head before once again facing you.

"I guess I'll see you later, then."

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

New Co-Star | Rudy Pankow x reader

Requested by anon / Summary: Rudy gets a hot new costar that will be playing JJ’s new love interest in the new season of Outer Banks and you get jealous. 

A/N: Hope you enjoy! 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

Go follow my fic rec blog! ---> @imaginationgonewild0912

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Season 3 of Outer Banks had begun filming in Charleston, SC and after, a long week of filming, the cast decided a weekend of fun was needed. Especially since there were some new co-stars being added. 

“So, you guys rented a beach house for this weekend?” You ask Rudy, as you begin packing. You two lived together in an apartment outside Charleston. 

“Yup. We thought it would be a great way to get to know the new co-stars a bit better.” Rudy answers. However, he left out the part about the new co-star was his character, JJ’s new love interest for the show. One, he was under contract, and two, he knew how it would make you feel. 

You were insecure, and who wouldn’t be? You’re dating one of the hottest new actors of the popular netflix show, outer banks. He had millions of fan girls, who would kill to be in your position and were very jealous of it. Very jealous of you.

You two began dating long before his acting career took off and after he became famous, it was a problem between the two of you. You always wondered why he wouldn’t leave you for someone better, someone prettier. He could have anyone he wanted now, but he still chose you? You didn’t understand. His answer was always the same and never strayed. 

“Are you sure I should be tagging along..?” You stopped at the bed, your bathing suit in your hands, “it’s for you and your costars, not your significant others as well.” 

“Madison said she wouldn’t come if you didn’t, especially since Mariah couldn’t be here this weekend.” Rudy says, hands on your hips, “you’re one of us, you know that, so yes, I’m sure you should be tagging along.” He kisses the back of your head, “now hurry up so we can leave, you know Chase will try to steal the master bedroom from us.” 

~ 

When you arrive, the gang is there, minus one of the new costars, Tara Peterson (completely made this name up so sorry if this is your name) who’d yet to arrive. 

Everyone is congregated in the kitchen, surrounding the large kitchen island, discussing dinner options. You’re seated on one of the stools next to Madison, who is showing you photos from her and Mariah’s trip to Disney. Rudy is standing beside you, his hand rubbing up and down your back and in his other hand a beer. Rudy had always been touchy feely, his love language being touch. He always wanted a hand on you, whether it be holding your hand, rubbing your back, on you thigh. It didn’t matter. It brought comfort to you, knowing he was there. 

“Has Rudy told you about our new co-star?” Madison whispers to you after she finishes showing you the photos. She glances over her shoulder to make sure Rudy didn’t hear her. He was in conversation with Jonathan about a recent basketball game. 

You shook your head, “You know he can’t tell me anything about the show. Contract.” You remind her, “Why? Is there something I should know?” You say with a frown. 

“Come check out the porch with me. There’s a great view of the beach.” Maddie hops off the stool, grabbing your hand. 

“Where you going? We’re trying to figure out dinner.” Rudy stops you, sensing you get up. 

“You know I’m not picky. Madison wants to show me the balcony.” 

Rudy glances to Madison, “I will bring her back.” Madison teases, rolling her eyes. “We’re just going outside.” 

You quickly peck his lips, following madison outside. The two of you lean against the balcony, overlooking the beach. There were few beach goers. A few stragglers in the ocean and a few tents or umbrellas with chairs lined along the beach. 

“JJ has a new love interest so, they’ve brought Tara Peterson on the show.” 

“oh.” You frown, “Well, I guess that’s good, right?” 

“No. Not good with Tara being on the show. She’s.. I don’t know. I don’t trust her. She’s a flirt. And I know Rudy is too nice to say anything to her.” 

Your shoulder’s slump at the new information, “Have.. the two of them kissed? or has she ever tried anything?” 

“Not that I know of. I know Rudy would never step out on you like that either.” She places a comforting hand on your arm, “You know that too. I can see the doubt running through your mind now. But I wanted to warn you about her before she got here. Since she is spending the entire weekend with us. She knows Rudy has a girlfriend, he’s made it clear to her.” 

You nod, “Thank you for at least warning me. You know how much of a stickler Rudy is about breaking the contract. He won’t tell me anything about the new season!” 

“Yeah,” she waves you off with a smile, “I don’t give a shit. Plus, you’re my best friend and i trust you.” 

There’s some new commotion going on inside and you both can see through the sliding glass door that someone new had arrived and you assumed it was Tara. 

You take a deep breath, following Madison inside. Rudy’s still standing where you’d left him, but Tara was in the middle of hugging Rudy. 

Tara releases Rudy from the hug, noticing the two of you, “Madison, hey!” She smiles in greeting and then spots you, “and y/n right? Rudy’s girlfriend?” 

She’s drop dead gorgeous. Perfect hair, perfect skin. Perfect teeth. She looks like she’s just stepped off a runway. A wave of insecurity rushes over you. 

“You must be Tara, nice to meet you.” You give her a friendly smile, approaching Rudy, who opens his arms for you to cuddle into his side. 

“Yeah! It’s nice to meet you too. I didn’t know we were bringing our significant others.” She leans on her hands against the island, “I thought this was just a weekend with the cast!” 

A silence fills the air considering you were the only significant other. You knew it was a punch toward you being here, like you didn’t belong. 

Chase is the one to quickly speak up, “y/n’s one of us, she’s pretty much been here from the beginning.” 

“well, I hope you don’t mind if I steal him for a little while later.” She places a hand on his arm, “I wanted to run lines with him. We’re filming our kissing scene this week and I wanted to practice.” She sees your eyes widen in surprise, and quickly adds, “running lines of course!” she gently shakes his arm with a laugh, trying to cover herself.

You weren’t stupid though, you knew she meant to say it in that way, to make you feel threatened. You force a smile, “No, I don’t mind-” 

“So, what are we doing for dinner, I am starving!” Tara interrupts. 

This weekend was off to a great start. 

~ 

“Your new love interest is pretty.” You say to Rudy as soon as he shuts the bedroom door. You two had beat chase to the master bedroom, which happened to have its own private balcony overlooking the beach.

He sighs, holding his arms out beside him in defeat, “I couldn’t say anything.” 

“I know, because of your contract.” You take a seat on the edge of the bed, hands squeezing the mattress, “and a kissing scene?” you told yourself you wouldn’t bring it up, but Tara got under your skin and here you are picking a fight with Rudy over it. 

“What do you want me to do? Quit?” He stops midway to the bathroom and faces you, “I had no choice in the matter, y/n. She’s my new co-star and love interest in the show. That is it.” 

You cast your eyes down to the coral colored rug, digging your toes into the curly fabric. It was suddenly very interesting. You were being insecure and he knew this.

“come on,” he grabs your hands and guides you to stand, engulfing you in his arms. “She’s just a co-star.. just like Madison or Madelyn.” 

“They didn’t want to get in your pants.” You mumble into his chest, wrapping your arms around him. There was a hint of musk from his deodorant lingering and it brought you comfort. 

He chuckles softly, pressing a kiss into your hair, “You’re right but,” He draws himself back from you, cradling your head in his hands, “You have nothing to worry about with her. I love you. You’re my girl and I’m yours.-”  

“Always will be.” You finish for him. It was the same thing he always told you when you would get insecure. 

“And always will be.” He presses a kiss against your forehead, lips lingering as he mutters against your skin, “I have no eyes for anyone but you. You’ve been my number one girl from the beginning. She can flirt with me all she wants, but my attention will always be on you, the only girl I love and the only girl I’ll ever flirt with.” His eyes lock onto yours to make sure you hear him. “Okay?” 

“Okay,” You sigh, nodding into his hands, “Just.. don’t practice the kiss, that’s all I ask.” 

“I don’t want to kiss her more than I have to. We’ll kiss when we film the scene.”  He reassures you with a kiss on the nose and lastly to your lips. 

~ extra ~ 

Come Monday, Rudy made a few changes to the scene with Tara, telling the directors he wouldn’t do the scene unless he could kiss you instead. So, they filmed it, perfectly angled to where you couldn’t tell the difference if he was kissing you or Tara. They loved how the scene turned out, the true passion shown in the kiss is what the scene needed. 

comments, likes and reblogs are always greatly appreciated xx 

[l393ndjean]

ooo! tysm for the tag!

happy endings or sad endings - happy, but angst in between pls

full moon or crescent moon - full moon so i can charge my crystals

sushi or burgers - .......both?

listening or talking - both, but only if what you’re saying’s interesting otherwise stfu

summer or winter - summer! Too bloody cold here. Was minus four degrees this mornin

sea or mountains - sea. Man i miss when i lived across the street from the beach. Mountains are pretty and all, but...

apartment or own house - house. I own way too much random shit for an apartment. also ya dude needs a tree platform to read wattpad fics in (Don’t ask, lol)

autumn or spring - spring’s nice, but I am allergic to a whole shit tonne of flowers. Autumn is beautiful here, but it’s so coooooollllllldddd so idrk

loud music or quiet music - loud... loud LOUD!!!!

morning or evening - evening. Who willingly gets up before two pm anyway??

sun or moon - moon. like at least you can actually look at the moon, unlike someone else who tries to blind people!!!

regrets or no regrets- idk

big city or small town - city pls. Can’t wait to break away from this shitty village!

walk or car ride - walk, car makes me dizzy.

day or night - day.

love at first sight or slowly falling in love - i agree with Leo, slowly falling in love

showers or baths - shower, after our childhood “Bath” a shower is a luxury. (Don’t ask about this one either.)

coke or pepsi - the taste pretty similar but pepsi max is a little better

cats or dogs - i’m kinda terrified of dogs

hot or cold - ...obviously cold...

gold or silver - silver. dunno why. just silver

texting or calling - text, unless you’ve got a shit ton to say

clowns or no clowns - uh idk

sunny or rainy - sunny. rains’ too cold. and my hair goes all frizzy

long fics or ficlets - long fics. I love ficlets, but i always want a continuation so..

white or black - black. I’m emo ok, leave me alone bitch

rivers or lakes - well considering i’ve spent a fair portion of my summers swinging off a rope into a river, I have to go with river

sunset or sunrise - sunset. you shouldn’t be awake when the sun rises man

movie or series - series, then you can watch just your favourie part over again. there’s also more opportunity for plot building imo

dark or light - dark. Still an emo k peeps

pizza or pasta - pizza. We eat pasta all the time at home.

classics or fanfic - fanfic all the way my dudes

piercings or no piercings - like ears and nose is all i’d be able to tolerate, but you do you peeps

bright or pastel - bright colous, as long as it ain’t loud in the background, then it’s all a little overwhelming 

yes or no - no <3

tagging: @cultofsheep @dont-open-dead-inside-25 @dungeons-are-too-cold @dictionarydyke​ oml idk how you tag people. Please join in if you want to, i’ll start tagging you in stuff after then

I love doing these (x)

tagged by the lovely @queereldritch

happy endings or sad endings —> happy endings

full moon or crescent moon —> full moon

sushi rolls or burgers —> sushi

listening or talking —> listening, but I also talk a lot when it comes to people I’m comfortable with being around

summer or winter —> winter

the sea or the mountains —> mountains

apartment or own house —> own house

autumn or spring —> autumn

loud music or quiet music —> loud music

morning or evening —> evening

sun or moon —> moon

regrets or no regrets —> no regrets

big city or small town —> can I say both? depending on the circumstances

walk or car ride —> car ride

day or night —> night

love at first sight or slowly falling in love —> slowly falling in love

showers or baths —> baths

cola or pepsi —> cola

cats or dogs —> dogs (but I’m also a proud cat mom)

heat or cold —> cold

gold or silver —> gold

texting or calling —> texting

clowns or no clowns —> clowns (if you know, you know😉)

sunny or rainy —> rainy

long fics or ficlets —> long fics

white or black —> black

rivers or lakes —> lakes

sunsets or sunrises —> sunsets

movie or series —> this is hard because there’re so many shows that I’m addicted to but I guess movies, overall

dark or light —> dark

pizza or pasta —> pizza

classics or fanfiction —> depends. but I’ve certainly read fanfictions that are better than some classic literature

piercings or no piercings —> either is fine with me

bright or pastel —> pastel

yes or no —> depends

tagging beautiful people; @josephfakingquinn @josephandjamie @jcbbby @trekkitkat @sullxo @johnsimms @can-of-pringles @ohfallingdisco @foodiewithdahoodie @elhaspowers @vecnathegreat @creelsclocks @jensomniac @nebulousfishgills @thelostsisters @onesmainbitch (don’t feel pressured to do this if you were tagged, these are just for fun) everybody is welcome to join

[sinfulwrites]

Thomas Hewitt with a S/O that always packs his lunch when he goes to work. They go out on their way to look for the meals with the most nutrients to make sure he isn't fainting from hunger. They cook a generous quantity, of course! And when the situation calls for it, they stay up at late hours of the night to make sure their beloved husband's lunch is perfect. They even leave sitcky notes with an "I love you! Don't overwork yourself and eat everything, you need it! <3" message to cheer him up. When he comes home from work he is met with a slice of pie and kiss 🥺

Hi there, I dunno if this was a request or just a headcanon, but I wrote something anyways 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

A short, sweet helping of domestic Thomas coming right up!

Thomas works down at the slaughterhouse. It may not be the most glamorous job around, but Thomas enjoyed his job, minus his coworkers. Plus, he brings home a pretty penny for the house. He was content with his work situation. You have a relative who works at the same slaughterhouse, that's how you met Thomas. Your relative never said anything bad about Thomas, just saying he was odd. You didn't think so though, so you approached him when he was sitting outside on his break. He looked so stunned when you walked up to him, he almost wanted to look around and make sure you were talking to him. You were talking to him, and you kept talking to him.

Your talking eventually evolved into moving into the Hewitt house; because you and Thomas were a couple. The family was highly suspicious of you at first, especially his mother. It took them a while to warm up to you, but when you finally proved yourself, they accepted you into the family. Well, Luda Mae did. Hoyt will preach day and night that you would never be a Hewitt, but it's turned into white noise now.

You don't work, but you earn your keep by helping Luda Mae keep the house clean. You took up a lot of chores for her so she could relax, she was getting up there in years, she deserved some relaxation. One of these chores was making Thomas his lunch for work. He woke up early in the morning, his shift started at 6 am every morning, so you always had to make it the night before for him. You never minded, if anything, it was another way to bring your relationship even closer with Thomas.

Every meal you made him was made from love. The Hewitt house wasn't the richest, but you made him the best meals you could with what you could find in the scarce pantry. You made sure the containers were full, almost overflowing when you're done filling them, and they come home completely empty every night. Nothing makes you happier than seeing an empty plate come home. Thomas was grateful with anything you gave him, but he could tell so much love was put into his meals, he constantly asked himself what he did to deserve such a thoughtful lover.

His favorite parts of lunch are your notes. Every night you will stay up and write him a note to stick in his lunch box. They started off simple, as "I love you" and "have a good day" tucked under his meals, but they eventually progressed into little love letters. Every single one was unique, and every single one filled him with joy. He saves every single one and keeps them safe in his room. It's hard to pick a favorite, but his absolute favorite stayed downstairs in the basement with him. He keeps a spot squeaky clean down there so your letters would never be ruined. If even a drop of blood got on them he would approach you like a kicked puppy to apologize. Your letters were the favorite part of his day, it helped push him through the day so he could be home with you again.

And when he comes home, you're always waiting for him. Greeting him with that beautiful smile, patiently waiting for him to put down his things so you can hug him and give him a kiss. Every single hard day at work is worth it for these kisses. Some nights you draw a bath for him, other nights you two have a quick rinse off in the shower together before going to bed. He’s very likely to pass out the second he's in your arms for the night, nothing brings him more comfort than sinking into your arms after a long day and forgetting about the world, even for a minute. The way you stroke his hair is the cherry on top.

Other nights, you have a treat waiting for him, like you did tonight. You made a pie for dinner tonight, and you made sure to save a slice for Thomas. You kept it warm and you made sure it was perfect for when you saw him walking up the long driveway to the house. You rushed to the door when you heard his boots climb the old wooden stairs and you opened the door for him, greeting him with that smile that took all the stress away.

"Welcome home, Thomas." His work bag immediately hits the ground so he can wrap you in his arms and pull you close to his chest. Today was unbelievably stressful, and you were the only thing that helped him push through it. You were the only thing on his mind. You wrapping your arms around him and squeezing him made him smile, he was so happy it was beyond words. It pained him to pull back, but he did so you could stand on your toes and give him his eagerly awaited kiss.

"How was your day?" You asked him against his lips, and he just sighed at your question before kissing you again. He didn't want to think about it, he wanted to forget the whole day and just think about you. His sigh told you all you needed to know.

You two were definitely getting a little out of hand at the front door, and you reminded him of your current situation when you pressed your finger against his lips when he tried going in for a third kiss. "We're by the door, Tommy…" You teased him. "We don't want anyone walking in on us."

Most times he wouldn't have cared and kept kissing you anyway, but you were right, if someone caught them they would nag your ears off. So, he pulled away, though it was begrudgingly. He wanted to gesture to the stairs, but you took his hand and led him to the kitchen, and he did nothing to stop you. You handed him the plate, his favorite, apple pie.

"I made it today, just for you." It was enough to make him melt, and enough to earn you another kiss in the kitchen before he took the plate from you. His loving partner, apple pie, he couldn't think of anything else to make this night more perfect. When you ran your hands along his shoulders and kissed his cheek when he started to dig into his pie though, he realized the night could get so much better. And all he could wonder is how he managed to get so lucky.

"I love you, Thomas." And he loves you. More than he can ever express.

[cebwrites]

Haunted House Reactions (Heart Pirates Special)

a/n: AAAAAA CEV FORGOT TO POST THIS ON HALLOWEEN ASJDKHTH fun fact! i’m a massive scaredy cat and the elevator scene to this was based on a haunted house attraction i never actually ended up going into because ya boy had a panic attack on the way up (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

gn reader, gen word count: 1.2k

🎃 . 🎃 . 🎃

You feel a chill down the back of your neck as you step on the first creaky floorboard of the “Haunted Mansion” attraction that your fellow crewmates had begged the Heart captain to let him go into. Law had been largely unenthused but let everyone had their fun, you half regret not staying behind to silently judge passerby’s in the food court with your captain now that you were actually here at the entrance.

Several members had reassured you that if this was too much, that you could always turn back but there’d been a long elevator ride on the way up and you didn’t want to be the one that needed accompaniment back down because frankly even that had you reciting silent mantras in your head.

The Heart Pirates were split into groups of three because the elevator was too small to accommodate everyone all at once; twenty one members total minus their captain meant two groups of seven and one with six. You were the sixth in yours.

You’d seen Bas and Hake cheering as they exited first, the rest of them happily chattering along down below when your group got all the way up. The entrance was on the third floor, through a window of all things, and the patrons would have to navigate their way down through a cacophony of spooks and scares. Ani put a reassuring and on your shoulder as the buzzer glowed, a distorted voice welcoming you all to the entrance of hell. Looking down the hallway bathed in red lighting before you, you wouldn’t disagree with that sentiment.

You wondered between crying or throwing up, which option would be least embarrassing right now.

You clung to Bepo’s arm, who at least seemed to be about as nervous as you were on the surface, fluffy ears flat against his head; Penguin and Shachi both chatted excitedly, leading the charge while the boyfriends ribbed at and both tried to spook one another as you all made your way inside. Ani and Fang offered to guard the rears, to “protect you and Bepo from anyone who might try to scare you from behind” but frankly the shared glint in their shadowed eyes didn’t make your stomach churn any less.

There was the standard fanfare of blood splatters here and there, apparent claw marks on the wallpaper and torn up carpeting to indicate a struggle of some sort with some kind of... monster. Then again, when you squished Bepo’s soft paw pads and the bear turned to look at you with a cute little head tilt, you felt some of your fears set themselves at ease.

You made the mistake of meeting eyes with a painting two seconds later, however, or rather its gaze met yours, and your heartbeat was back in your throat. Focus on the Bepo paws. Think only of the Bep-paws.... 

The first scream of the group was surprisingly not from you, but Shachi, who recoiled back immediately once a ‘severed’ arm he’d been poking at grabbed him back. The sound still made your whole group jump, however. Penguin jabbed at his side to get the orca to stop fooling around so much and it wasn’t long before they were giggling again like schoolgirls. 

Walking along, you closed your eyes at certain imagery and clung tighter to Bepo’s side when deranged laughter from an unknown source filled the air. Bepo kindly informed you that there was a staircase they had to traverse and he held your hand as hands seemingly pushed through the walls (an elastic covering, maybe?) to grasp at everyone. It was Penguin this time that decided to shake one in a greeting manner, getting a few chuckles from the group on the way down.

Fang massaged your shoulders as you made your way through the second floor, gassing you up between a casual conversation through his mask with Ani and Penguin, finally able to part from the polar bear’s side and ease your mind a little. It’s not until Shachi points out that he hasn’t seen the resident navigator in a while that you notice the hands on you are a little rougher than before. 

When everyone turned to you, they froze.

Yes, there is a masked figure massaging your shoulders, but they’re a lot taller - and no, it sure as hell isn’t the beloved helmsman of the Heart Pirates. Your blood runs cold and you feel like collapsing right about now, but the adrenaline in your system sends you booking it out of the room with a scream faster than anyone would’ve imagined, ignoring the shrieks from your peers behind you. 

You practically glide down the last flight of stairs, weaving through headless corpses standing and violent axe murderers before they can even fully register in your mind because god, you don’t need them to. You briefly hear your name being called out but you’re too frightened to stop, running into a side room you’re not supposed to when an actor in grizzly makeup tries to guide you to the right way and increases your panic instead.

Once in there, however, you saw members of staff putting fake blood on Bepo’s snout and paws, and someone else making a quick duplicate of Fang’s mask that was cracked and bloodied. They both waved at you, one bright and cheerful and the other, apologetic. The staff saw your alarm, offering a bottle of water and some snacks to ease your anxiety, explaining that this was one of this attraction’s gimmicks, especially with large groups like yours. 

Ah yes, this was all part of the performance. A potential heart attack for the fun of it.

A lady with a walkie talkie let everyone in the room know that Pen, Shach, and Ani have made it out and that the last batch of Heart Pirates were on their way up. Someone else on staff kindly asked if you’d like to join or have an escort take you to the exit if you’ve understandably had enough of this place. Looking at Bepo’s curious eyes and the glint from what was visible behind Fang’s dupe, damaged mask - ah what the hell, so long as you weren’t the one getting scared anymore, right?

You were slathered in fake blood and given a quick script - having being attacked by this ravenous, bloodthirsty bear - and only had to play the part of a poor corpse strewn across the chaise lounge while poor Bepo on the other hand had to hold his position over you while everyone inspected the ‘doubles’ before he eventually turned to look at them and scared everyone off with a huge roar.

Previous crew members who’d entered were invited back in to fill other roles that weren’t as center-stage like being the hands in the walls, eyes following people around, ‘fake’ mounted heads, or simply grabbing people’s legs underneath furniture to get a cheap scream. 

The only downside to it all was the staining on some member’s clothes from the makeup and Clione getting a bruised nose from when he grabbed Ikkaku’s leg and her reflexes quite literally kicked in. Law wasn’t pleased at everyone’s disheveled appearances when you all showed up back at the sub, but the state of Clione’s face had to be what irritated them more.

Still, everyone clearly had a great time, they could see even you laughing along as well despite being near-petrified at the beginning, so Law doesn’t give his crew too much flak for it. Dry-cleaning bills for anyone’s uniforms, however, are coming out of your paychecks.

No, Law will not simply shambles the stains out. It’s the principle of it all.

[ofallthingsnasty]

Forced agr3 with Enjoying because he wants a second shot at kids. Him keeping you bound in a crib all day only taking you out once he gets home, craddling you in his large arms as he feeds you a bottle or let's you suck your pacifier and watch TV, him just trying to not fuck up again and being gentle minus the kidnapping and forced part

yes. YES. I headcanon him as a 100% nc agr3 type of guy - and it doesn't matter if it's because of misdirected love and he's genuinely trying to care for you or if it's something darker and he's trying to get you to submit fully. I love both and I'm so glad it's kinda fanon-ish. Let me just plug this beautiful piece by @allmightsprettyhousewife because I feel like you'd enjoy it if you haven't read it yet 😏 Also, I still have a 'list' ask about agr3 yanderes in my drafts, I really need to finish that!! Because Enji is definitely on there as well pfff tw. forced agr3, yandere, kidnapping, wildly ooc Endeavour probably pfff, noncon in the last paragraph - sticking to soft Enji with this one

Daddy Enji 🥺 That big, burly man can make anyone feel small. He treats you so delicately, too. Gently plucks you out of the crib when he comes home, and tucks your head under his chin while you're still whining against the pacifier gag. Rocks back and forth to calm you while he kisses your hair and mumbles a word or two about how it's all good now because he's here. He tries, he really does. Gently dresses you up in your favorite colors and soft cotton, tries to keep your diet healthy and interesting, always keeps you close to him (seriously, he’ll just carry you around the house 24/7). He knows it’s so, so lonely without him during the day so he spoils you when he comes home - seats you in his lap and watches cartoons with you, hums goofy little songs to you while he’s cooking, reads to you- He really tries to make the most of your time together, tries to to make you his happy little one. If you let him, he can be very caring and gentle - and he does feel a little guilty over your predicament from time to time, but he couldn’t leave someone as helpless and cute to fend for themselves. You’re here so he can pour all of his love into you and you’ll learn to reciprocate it, he’s sure. But don’t make him angry. He has a terribly short fuse. It’s one thing to be fussy because you’re hungry or missed him or to whine because you’re feeling too hot- but outright refusing him and being bratty? He won’t stand that. He tries to be more patient, but disrespect is something he can’t excuse. At all. He prefers physical punishments and tries to keep them short(ish). Definitely a spanker, probably makes you kneel in uncooked rice for some time, not opposed to a slap to your face when you’re really stepping out of line. But once it’s done (and he has calmed down) he makes sure to run you a bath and praise you a little for taking it so well. Don’t expect grand gestures, but you’ll know he’s satisfied by the way his hands gently wash and rinse you and how he tucks you into a big fluffy towel afterwards. And he shouldn’t- he knows he really shouldn’t do it- but he can’t help his fingers from wandering sometimes. You’re so cute and weak and small compared to him, your body is practically begging him to touch it. He loves fingering you until you’re reduced to tears, until you beg him to stop because it’s too much, it hurts, you can’t take this anymore. He barely dares to fuck you because he’s so big and you’re always whining about the stretch and the way you’re sore for days afterwards. But you can ride his thigh, his fingers, his face- and sometimes he’s selfish and forces your head down on his cock because your throat is more yielding and is trained to take him. I don’t think the sexual aspect is his main focus, but sometimes you’re simply too cute not to touch and tease.

[ghooostbaby]

if shi mei has one fan it is me, if shi mei has no fans then i am dead, if shi mei has one million fans then I GUESS it must be because my consciousness has duplicated itself one million times because no one else seems to care about him like i do *sobs*

I always get so attached to the quiet characters, and mxtx at least seems to reward me for this. meatbun, however, prefers to decimate me. I immediately felt such fondness for shi mei, and was also pretty annoyed by xue meng, so maybe I am just mo ran 0.5 minus the atrocities. (when i looked at fan art for 2ha while reading and there was nothing for shi mei but lots for xue meng i was like really??? that guy?!?!) Now that I know how it ends, and after reading the post by @elberlight on him, I’m thinking about what the story might be saying about the kind of character shi mei presents as at the beginning, his “gentleness and affability”, and his perfection, especially compared to the absolute messiness of chu wanning and mo ran and their love for each other. 

At the beginning shi mei is this gentle, shy, beautiful, perfect thing, especially through the eyes of the newly transmigrated Taxian Jun. There’s this tenderness between them, shi mei is like this perfect golden memory of the one bit of warmth he ever experienced that he clung onto, and now he gets to live with again. Mo Ran is still very much the tyrant of his past life, but the way he approaches shi mei as this treasured and fragile thing that he wants to be close to so badly, but can’t hold too closely in case he crushes it - especially the arrogant way he goes through all the steps he knows to gain power all over again, yet still acting like a vulnerable teenager with his crush. I remember the part where mo ran and shi mei are sitting together talking when they are supposed to be training. there’s this kind of tender vulnerability in the way mo ran talks to shi mei, even with all the knowledge and memories of his life as Taxian-Jun.

Also from the beginning there are hints that there’s something missing, when Mo Ran is choosing his weapon and is given the locket that only his true love can open, he starts trying to get Shi Mei to open it when Chu Wanning just scoops it up (and it opens), or when they’re bathing in the spring at the inn and Mo Ran, despite wanting to see Shi Mei bathing, beautiful as ever, he isn’t really preoccupied with desire the way he is about Chu Wanning (hmmm). In the part where mo ran is sent to clean chu wanning’s house as punishment, while Mo Ran and Shi Mei have been tender but careful with each other, Mo Ran and Chu Wanning already seem to be nagging each other like a married couple.

It was surprising to me how the story doesn’t actually wait till the end to put Mo Ran and Chu Wanning together, like most romantic stories do. Right in the middle of things they spend all this time just ... touching, kissing, taking off their clothes, being exposed, being embarassing, scaring themselves, feeling pleasure, feeling excitement, feeling disgust, feeling sticky (haha). It’s this honest, messy, humbling, even gross experience. Their intimacy and love actually comes directly from engaging with their humiliating, undignified sexualities, and finding acceptance and pleasure in them. not just a pure emotional love of the person that emerges chastely and eventually expresses itself physically, before the screen fades to black - no, you spend time with the unpleasant uncomfortableness of them being so close to another they see you horrifyingly naked and orgasming, or feeling scared of your own impulses that you might lose control in sex and hurt your person, or scare them away, or do something to them that feels bad, that feeling of being so overwhelmed with discomfort and pleasure, that’s what their love grows out of, their despicable, messy, ungovernable, flawed sexualities, their panting, shaking, sticky bodies.

*fans self* uh, where was i ? oh yeah, shi mei.

That moment where shi mei and mo ran 0.5 are teenagers sitting on the field talking when they’re supposed to be training, even though shi mei was never effusive, he seemed gentle and fond, his responses seemed similar to mo ran’s careful tenderness. The first time you meet shi mei in the flesh is right after taxian-jun transmigrates into his teenage body, and comes across shi mei in the town trying to fight to release these demons (or half demons?) that have been been imprisoned and are being sold in the town (from what I remember), despite not being good at fighting and kind of failing until mo ran steps in. that is maybe the only moment where (i think) we see shi mei acting where is not aware of himself being witnessed by mo ran, which is interesting. when mo ran is raging about chu wanning when they are disciples, shi mei contradicts him and talks about the small, subtle kindnesses of chu wanning’s that no one really notices - like holding up a barrier to keep the rain off. arguably shi mei saw who chu wanning was before mo ran did, shi mei purposefully picked chu wanning because he was kind, and felt fondly that chu wanning helped him learn healing when he wasn’t good at cultivation. while mo ran was first attracted to his beauty and then repelled by his harshness, shi mei could see chu wanning’s kindness and his rigidity at once.

although he seems gentle and caring, shi mei always stays remote. you know he’s an orphan too, he’s also alone in the world like mo ran and chu wanning, but you don’t hear and feel it from his perspective like you do with them. the most painful part about it for me was he did absolutely nothing wrong, ostensibly - as the disciple shi mei they knew him as, living his life beside them, but mo ran still gradually pulls away from him. When they return after the 5 years away, Mo Ran just simply doesn’t feel the desire to be close with Shi Mei, and mo ran’s simple act of walking away from the table they eat at together to sit with chu wanning, while i loved ranwan, also kind of broke my heart. it’s the quietest kind of rejection. how did shi mei feel about this? his reactions as always are so imperceptible they’re barely noticeable, maybe he never even wanted to be that close with mo ran to begin with, and he’s just been going with the flow or tolerating him as mo ran threw his affections at him since the first wontons, shi mei always seemed like he was just kind of slightly removed, looking down on mo ran wan with a silent, other knowledge while mo ran was fully in the moment with however he felt. or maybe shi mei did really care about how mo ran treated him, but didn’t trust others or himself, so just quietly accepted it and waited to see if it would go away or twist into something else. but in that flashback to mo ran’s first whipping and shi mei bringing him wontons, shi mei was gentle and talked about being an orphan too, but also seemed mildly amused by mo ran’s declarations of affection.

There are these little cracks that show through with shi mei every so often, that seemed to hint at something else, some kind of emptiness between mo ran and shi mei that felt so sad. And it’s interesting to compare this to chu wanning and mo ran - between them there’s almost nothing but cracks, things between them crack and crack and crack until it splinters completely into dust and they’re left holding onto each other for dear life and loving each other passionately and brokenly. And then this makes me think about the whole plot that’s all about cracks - opening and closing cracks in the heavens, and death, monsters pouring out, getting sealed in...

But there ARE these moments of vulnerability with shi mei, like when he can’t feed himself in the bird land (haha sorry about my memory/lack of motivation to look through the book), was he really starving? or was it a test? There's something about the way shi mei’s gentle, quiet, beautiful presence becomes this impenetrable confusion ... you start to wonder if his demeanor is concealing contempt, a sneer, what is his weakness concealing? what is goodness? chu wanning and mo ran are both so flawed, and they're so messy together, but their love transcends all their mistakes, because it delves into their mistakes.

But honestly I didn’t really have any of these overt thoughts/doubts about what is true about shi mei until after I found out about the ending. I’ve only read the first half of the book before the MTL got too weird to follow, but actually I slogged my way through it for quite a while, the real reason i stopped reading was i was getting too sad about shi mei. it’s only looking back I’ve recognized the tiny gaps of this concealed emptiness, but originally it was only mo ran’s memory of shi mei’s inscrutable last words the night before he died the first time that felt offputting. At the time I just loved him I think because I always just love quiet people. Or maybe it just feels natural to me, as a Canadian, that veneer of amiable politeness concealing a pit of simmering rage that manifests as sly passive aggression ahahaha.

When i stopped reading i figured i might as well spoil myself since i didn’t think i’d make it to the ending ever, and then found out all that ends up happening with shi mei ... and maybe this is strange, but it made me feel relieved. At least if he can’t be loved he can be evil! And so now I wait impatiently for the official english translations to be released..

[solesommerso]

☆ Au Masterlist ☆

[ find my oc masterlist when you scroll down ]

♡ how requests work ♡

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[ any au that contains dark/nsfw themes will be marked with a ❦ ]

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Sibling Street au! - requests open

- Street has a little sister Sydney that’s in need of some help, can him and Chris do that for her?

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Chef Street/Tan au! - requests open

- Streets a top tier chef that works day & night, but what happens when the restaurant he works at becomes part of a s.w.a.t case and he ends up meeting officer victor tan, and maybe falling too?

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Criminal Street au!- requests open ❦

- Hondo arrests a 20yr old Street and they somehow bond over time, but what happens when Hondo and the team find out what Streets doing for work?

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Killer Stris au!- requests open ❦

- after Street & Chris start to date in early 2, by season 3 there’s a change in command that warrants the s.w.a.t rules changing to no longer allow in workplace relationships, resulting in Street and Chris’s termination. Things go dark for the couple when they start to seek revenge on those who had part in their firing

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Parent Street/Alfaro au!- requests open

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Spider-man Street au! - requests open ❦

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Pets Paradise au! - request open ❦

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Psychic Street au! - requests open ❦

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Sunshine Street au! - requests open ❦

- established reader x poly 20!squad (minus Street) that live at a lake house just out of the city, they soon fall for the barista at the closest cafe that has a ‘sunshine in a bottle’ type of personality none of the members can resist, and they get more than they bargained for

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Mending au! - requests open

[maddie buckley/sarah reese]

- Sarah moves to California after the mess with her father, meanwhile Maddie’s finally leaving Doug for good. They meet one another not too long after moving, becoming fast friends over their shared experiences in the medical field and soon they start a journey of healing together and eventually become more than just friends

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Werewolf Zoe & Street au! - requests open ❦

- Zoe can smell it the second she walks into the room, her ears perk at the sound of each persons heart beat, all steady and rhythmic, but one of them is a wolfs like her. She can’t be thinking about this all in the midst of a case, her first real one on swat too, but the scent is strong and pulling her towards it. Almost like it’s calling her, saying that whoever it is can smell her too, knows she’s a wolf.

♡ moodboard/fic (part 1) ♡ an alpha red (part 2) ♡

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Slow Fall au! - requests open ❦

[sarah reese/noah sexton/mouse]

- sarah, noah & mouse rent out an apartment near the beach together, what could possibly go wrong?

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Blacklit Paradise au! - requests open ❦

[sarah reese/ava bekker, sarah reese & jay halstead]

- “You look stunning.” A grin gets sent Sarah’s way once she approaches her awaiting partner, anxiety sitting painfully in her stomach as she takes Ava in. Her dress is much more modest than Sarah’s is, gold jewelry laid over her neck to match the clip she has holding her short hair back, her makeup is light and shines under the overhead lights. She looks like any normal bride, happy and excited about her marriage, not like she drugged Sarah to get her here and like the chains still clanking at her ankles weren’t put there by Ava herself.

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☆ OC Masterlist ☆

- I didn’t know where to put this so it’s going here

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Cameron [Cam] Torres - requests open

- age ; 25 | height ; 5’10 (he’ll say he’s 6’) | pronouns ; he/him | sexuality ; bisexual king

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[devildomdoofus]

Lemon Dreams: Part 2

[NSFW]

Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor

Part 1:

MINORS

DO NOT INTERACT

DO NOT PROCEED

‼️WARNINGS‼️

NSFW, wet dreams, mature themes, implied intercourse, swearing, UP TO CHAPTER 16 SPOILERS

Author’s Note:

You already know what I’m about to say 😅 I am very sorry for the delay. Work’s a doozy and I get stressed easy but.. I hope these are worth the wait!! Please enjoy ❤️

- DevildomDoofus

💖Asmodeus:

This day was rather an exhausting one for Asmodeus. Not enough people groveled at his feet as they normally did, he had a multitude of wardrobe malfunctions, and he just couldn’t quite get his hair to stay in place after he struggled for hours, earlier that morning, to get it just the way he imagined. On top of all of that, you were so busy keeping his brothers out of your hair that you couldn’t quite make enough room in your schedule for him. No, he didn’t blame you in the least, it was just frustrating because, on days like this, you were his sanctuary. You meant the world and more to him and whenever he was feeling out of it, you were right there to remind him just how amazing he really was. However, today.... he was meant to take care of himself.

No matter! He had a backup ‘chin up, Asmo’ kit waiting for him when he returned to the House of Lamentation and he wasn’t about to let anyone, or anything, get in the way. Once inside the house, he made a beeline for his room, put a Do Not Disturb sign on his door, and shut himself away with a click of the lock to ensure that he was certainly NOT going to be disturbed. He stripped himself all the way down to bare skin, dipped into his bathroom, and turned the knobs of his bathtub to the temperature that he enjoyed most. Then, he turned the radio to one of his favorite music stations, dimmed the lights, and lit a handful of scented candles before he finally slid down into the tub and sank low enough so that the bubbles tickled his nose. His eyelids felt too heavy to hold up any longer so he let them close as he let out a breath that he felt as if he had carried it all day. The heated water eroded the tension in his muscles and the sound of bubbles popping and music playing in the distance kept his mind from drifting too far down into a spiral. A waft of his favorite scented candle crept up to his nose and from its serene aroma, as well as the effects of the other combined therapeutic items, he was finally able to shrug away all remaining traces of the stress in his mind and body.

After his much needed bath and his before-bed beauty ritual, Asmo slips between the satin sheets of his bed and before too long, drifts peacefully into slumber.

As the Avatar of Lust, his dreams were no different than his life living with his sin; the adoring crowds, the self-idolization, manipulation, and, it goes without saying, the sex. Not much changes in the dreamworld when you’re practically living it in your waking world. However, this particular dream was unlike any he’s ever had before, and it was all because of you.

In this dream, he was a prince renowned for his looks, for his charms, and, of course, for his riches. But he had grown apart from that lifestyle and such a reputation was a tiresome thing, as it made it rather difficult in finding a proper romance partner that wasn’t after him for his looks or money. He wanted someone that loved and wanted him for who he was deep down. That is why he snuck away to a masquerade ball in disguise, in hopes of finding said partner. He spent a majority of the night talking with some people, dancing with others, and trying his damndest to find his future spouse but to no avail. He began to give up hope and with such a loss comes his indulgence of his sin, in which he finds the nearest and worthiest soul to charm, slip them away from prying eyes, and do whatever each of them pleased.

That is, until one peculiar stranger approached him, gently extended their hand, and asked him without words for a dance. He tilted his head in question, a bit hesitant, as so few ever dared to approach him first. They were either far too intimidated or in awe of him that they waited until he approached them.

The stranger smiled beneath the mask, their eyes giving it away, and they dipped their torso low in a respectful bow, so that they may communicate that they truly mean no harm, while keeping their hand extended in invitation. Asmodeus’ lips give way to a pleased smile and he gingerly takes the stranger’s hand as they lead the way to the dance floor. For hours upon hours, song after beautiful song, they whirled and spun in perfect unison as the crowd surrounding them gave way to their joyous dances. The chemistry was unmatched and Asmodeus was overjoyed, as he felt he had finally found his one, true partner. He simply had to know who they were.

Before the next song could play, he took their hand and lead them into an empty hallway where they may share their identities without nosey onlookers. Once out of sight, he brought his fingers up to the mask that concealed the strangers face and looked into their eyes in question, hoping that they permit him to do away with it. The stranger nods and Asmo proceeds, pulling the mask ever so slowly from their face and suddenly, Asmo’s mouth flies open with a gasp and he drops the mask to the floor. It was you.

“MC...?!” He pries his own mask away and looks at you in the same way an artist looks at their own masterpiece after years of hard work. He lunges forward and wraps his arms around you, tightly. You return the embrace, wrapping your arms around him and smiling from ear to ear. He parts from you only to cup your face in his hands and in a whisper he says, “I’ve searched for you for so long.” You smile warmly at him with a twinkle in your eye, replying “I’ve been looking for you too,” and he can longer restrain himself. He crashes his lips flush against yours in a desperate and hungry kiss. He‘s reluctant to let either of you breathe as he‘s pressing himself against you further, closing the distance between your back and the nearest wall. “I’ve searched for you,” he pants between kisses, “for so damn long.” He moves down to your neck, letting his teeth graze the skin before he sinks them down and licks the bite. The noises that you emitted due to his actions made his knees weak. With his lips close to your ear, he practically whines, “Please, may I have you?” You grab him by the collar, tug him back to look you in the eyes and with a hunger of your very own, you commanded, “Take me, Asmodeus. I am yours.”

He sweeps you off of your feet and into his cradling arms, carrying you to the nearest empty room to give you everything that you desired. With the door shut and locked behind you, he was back onto your lips in a matter of seconds, only this time, he was much more patient. He had finally found you, someone he was going to love far greater than he loved himself, and here you were in all of your unbridled glory, asking for him and him alone. Not for his money, not for his looks nor reputation... you wanted him for who he was and he could feel that as he danced with you, in the way that you kissed him, and would soon feel as your bodies became one. And by Diavolo, he was going to take his sweet time getting there. He paced himself, slowly stripping you of all of your clothing as well as all of his own, and kissed every inch of skin he uncovered of yours, starting from your neck and all the way down to the tops of your feet. He praised you as he went, not letting a moment go by without him practically singing your name and the glory that came with it. He snaked his way back up your body and, for the rest of the night and into the early hours of the morning, made love to you in the most beautiful ways, eliciting your sweet melodies of pleasure that he shan’t ever forget for as long as he lives.

Just as he was beginning to whisk you away to his very own castle to marry you, he wakes up. He whips his head around and you were nowhere to be seen, nor was he taking you to his castle to wed you. It was simply him alone in his room. He huffs out of frustration that it was all just a dream... but then he smiles widely with a giggle, bringing a pillow up to cover his reddening cheeks because the dream was unlike anything he’s ever dreamt before, or ever experienced in real life for that matter. And that experience was love. Not lust, romanticization, idolization, or a sorcerer looking for a pact. It was pure love. He simply had to tell you about this dream. He texts you to “come over right away! It’s an emergency! Be sure to come alone. ❤️”

Once you’re there, he sets the both of you down onto his bed, where he usually talked things over with you, snuggles up close to you and relays everything that happened in the dream... EVERYTHING. He didn’t leave out a single detail. To say that your cheeks could melt steel by the end of his storytelling, was an understatement. For the next few days, Asmodeus was like a barnacle on a boat. He never left your side and couldn’t stand being away from you for too long. He also was a little more protective of you against his brothers or anyone else that wanted your attention. He wasn’t having it. For now and maybe perhaps forever, you were Asmo’s, like the masquerade partner you were in his dreams.

❤️Beelzebub:

As a demon, and living in the Devildom, you just don’t really get to have many ‘good’ days considering the whole ‘sin’ thing and fighting in The Great War and then falling because of it and all that jazz. However, today was an exception for dear Beelzebub. He had eaten his favorite meals all day, was lucky enough to spend an exceptional amount of time with you and Belphegor throughout the day, won a championship game of Fangol (devildom football) against the toughest opposing team, and finally had enough remaining energy to celebrate his big win with a surprise house party involving one of his absolute, all-time favorite meals catered by you and Barbatos... human world cheeseburgers. And it wasn’t even his birthday! He’d have to mention this to his brothers to coerce them into doing some like this for when his special day came around but.. ya know... bigger. Oh! And don’t forget Belphegor’s favorite foods too.

The party lasted for hours on end as each brother spent an extended period of time congratulating him on his victory in between moments of him shoveling the food into his mouth, singing his praises for every move and tactic he used in the game that kept them at the edge of their seats, and hyping him up for the next game to follow in which they were confident in him bringing them another victory. Eventually, everyone’s batteries especially Lucifer’s had run out and the time for celebration had come to a close.

Lucifer sent the elder brothers and yourself to your rooms as he stayed behind to help Barbatos clean, as well as monitor Beelzebub while he finished scarfing down the last scraps of food and downing the final glasses of Demonus. “You played well today, Beelzebub,” Lucifer praised, as he cleared away the empty dishes surrounding Beel and the slumbering twin that rested on his shoulder. “I’m quite proud of you.” He paused for breath. “Then again,” he quipped, “I expected no less from you.” Beelzebub tried his best to flash his dimpled smile with his cheeks puffy with food before swallowing it whole, followed by an audible gulp, and chuckled. “Thank you, Lucifer. That means a lot to me.” Lucifer returned the smile, shifted some dishes from one hand to another in order to use the free one to ruffle a bit of Beel’s hair before he stepped away. By now, Belphegor shifted against his brother and mumbled incoherently. Fortunately, Beelzebub spoke Sloth and knew it was finally time to call it a day and take his twin to bed. He grabbed a final cheeseburger and stuffed it between his teeth, squatted low enough to allow Belphegor to climb sluggishly onto his back like a koala, and started towards their room with a light skip in his step. “What a day,” he thought to himself on repeat, all while tucking his brother in and getting ready for bed himself. As he turned the lights out and finally laid down, he gazed up at the ceiling with a dimpled grin on his face and let his thoughts venture towards you before finally closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. Of course, they always did ever since you held his hand to help him fall asleep way back when. And since you couldn’t always be there every single night to help him fall asleep again, he had to think of you as an alternative.

When it comes to his resting, unconscious mind, Beelzebub has four different reoccurring dreams.

He’s living an absolute carefree life with his entire family (including his late sister), not bound by sin or Diavolo, and experiencing paradise in its truest form with the ones he loves

It’s an everlasting, all-you-can-eat, buffet, catered by Barbatos, Luke, and you (with your human world cheeseburgers)

He’s reliving the terror of having to watch his sister get struck down and die. Sometimes he loses Belphegor and/or you too, and, if he’s really unlucky that night, he loses absolutely everyone he’s closest to. His sister, his brothers, you, Luke, Simeon...

Some fortunate or unfortunate combination of any of the above.

However, Lady Fortune continued to smile upon dear, sweet Beelzebub and tonight, he was going to experience a dream unlike any he’s had before.

It commenced with you and him taking a trip to the human world so that you could show him a few of your favorite eateries, restaurants, cafes, bakeries, and the like. Of course, Belphegor came along and was lingering close by, window shopping at furniture stores as they usually had the best products for maximum comfort. You first took them to a coffee shop and showed them all the delicious things they could buy. It took some major convincing (and elbow grease and the help of a twin demon) to pull Beelzebub away from the glass, encasing the baked goods, to keep him from drooling on it. Next, you ventured to a nearby ‘ma-and-pa’ bakery where the goods were stocked to the edge of the shelves with various handmade loafs, muffins, cupcakes and cakes, cookies, croissants. You name it, you smell it, and it was there. With stars in his eyes and zero restraint, Beelzebub slapped his wallet onto the counter and pleaded for as much of their inventory as the shop owner allowed. You two left the bakery with both arms carrying bags up to your elbows and giant grins on your faces. After breezing by a number of other food joints, you finally came to the crowning moment that you’ve been dying to show Beelzebub. The local candy shop. His eyes grew to the size of the sun and his mouth swung open as he gawked at the wonderland of hypnotizing colors and towering walls covered in sweets just beyond the window. Belphegor sighed, shook his head with a smirk and mumbled, “I’ll be out here if you need me.” He took the bags you two were carrying and sat on a nearby bench. Seeing Beelzebub unable to contain his excitement, you nodded to Belphie, took a firm hold of Beel’s hand with a big grin, and led him in.

You started off by showing him the taffy puller where the employees kept watch over the machine as it looped the taffy over and under. Then, you brought him over to the cotton candy machine as an employee was twirling the little ball of fluff into an adorable bunny. Finally, you brought him to the wall of candy where you could grab a bag of whichever size you prefered and stuff it to the brim with goodies. Of course, you handed him a couple of the largest bags they had available and off he went in search of a multitude of sweets. You, yourself grabbed a medium sized bag. When he returned to you, his bags were bloated and almost spilling out over the top but Beel simply couldn’t help himself. They all seemed so delicious. What you didn’t know is that he had a little surprise for you whenever you two left the shop.

Once the three of you returned to the House of Lamentation, Belphegor lazily saluted and headed off to the attic, whereas you and Beelzebub had some major snacking to do.

Sitting in the floor of his room, you took your time sharing sweets amongst each other and complimenting their sugary goodness... until he sealed his bags up, slid them away, and scooted closer to you. You eyed him in curiosity, unsure of his wellbeing considering he stopped eating so suddenly. “MC, I wanted to thank you for today and wanted you to know how much it meant to me...” He inches closer, knees touching yours. “...so, I got you something.” He held up a couple of boxes of Pocky, each in a different flavor. “Pick one.” You tapped on the box with your favorite flavor, and he set aside the remaining ones. Pulling out one of the sticks, he hovers the tip of it just outside the immediate reach of your lips. “Say ahh,” he requested, demonstrating by opening his own mouth. Your lips parted with an ‘ahh’ and he tucks one end of the Pocky stick between his teeth and placed the other end in your mouth. As your cheeks heat up and you look back and forth between his eyes in question, you spot a smirk making its way to his face and he takes a swift bite of the Pocky to keep you focused on him rather than letting go and backing away. You attempt to mirror his act by taking a trembling nibble of the Pocky, inching yourself closer to him, to his lips. He takes a bigger bite than before, rapidly closing the distance between you two. Before long, you’re but a mere half an inch apart and you shut your eyes as you consider just letting go before things could go any further. With the Pocky still between his teeth, he chuckles lowly and “look at me,” he demands. As your eyes open to meet his, he smirks and bites off the last bit of Pocky, lifts a hand up and cups the back of your neck and pulls you into a deep, flavorful kiss. His tongue slithers past your lips and chases after the taste of the Pocky that still lingered in your mouth. Meanwhile, he’s lowering you down onto your back and shifts in a way to keep you pinned beneath him. Your whimpers and moans keep stirring the flames inside of him, engulfing every other thought that isn’t you and this newfound hunger for something oh so sweet. He slinks down your body and strips you of your clothes as he goes, leaving little bruises and bite marks in the bits of flesh he uncovers. “I could just swallow you whole...” He reaches a hand down between your legs, swipes a bit of yourself onto his fingertips and drags his tongue along it, savoring the taste of you. “Fuck MC...”

Before he could do as he very much pleased, the intense growl of his empty stomach startled him awake. He is an absolute blushing MESS and the sheets of his bed have somehow become uncomfortable for his lower half. He looks over at his brother, hoping that he’s still asleep. Thankfully, the sound of a gentle snore confirmed it and Beelzebub tiptoed into the bathroom to cool down.

The following weeks, Beelzebub had a hard time avoiding you, bearing in mind that you were a big eater similar to him, and like him, wherever there was food or snacks, you were there too. It’s one of the reasons he used to feel so comfortable around you. However, the very reason for one of his comforts was the same reason it was harder in more ways than one for him to keep his cool around you because he couldn’t quite that sinfully amazing dream out of his head. You unknowingly made things more difficult whenever you offered him a handful of candy as his stomach growled around you. It brought that cherry red blush back to his entire face and he would make an excuse to go back to his room... and you could never figure out why. Was it the flavor? The gesture itself? Had you done something to make him uncomfortable? You got around to asking Belphegor and with a shrug of his shoulders, he replied “maybe he had a dream where he ate candy off of your body?” Your cheeks heated up at the thought and you tried to laugh it off, dismissing the idea. Still... just the thought of it kept you up many, many nights. If only such a thing would come true...

💜Belphegor:

Lucifer was NOT giving him a break. How could he expect The Avatar of Sloth to handle so many responsibilities that go against his very nature? Like waking up in general to go to school, staying awake during classes, completing assignments, kitchen duty, attending whatever event Diavolo was hosting simply because Lucifer said so... I mean, it was all TOO much. It was the same situation as if one were to ask Beelzebub to stop eating, or Satan to stop reading, or any of the other brothers to just toss their sins and means of survival into the trash and pretend they don’t have them, all for some goofy prince who decided it was ‘perfectly fine’ to bring different realm dwellers down into the devildom to be buddy-buddy, like there wasn’t a huge, gaping scar diving them all in the first place. Then again... two of them aren’t all that bad. Simeon is an old ‘friend of the family’ and MC... Well? MC is Lilith MC. And they were the warm light at the end of this bleak, never ending tunnel. The thin shred of hope in the world. And he was going to show them how much they meant to him in the best way that he knew how, while also giving Lucifer a headache in the process.

Belphegor plops down beside you at the large desk you two shared before the class could start. He glances around, noticing that the assigned teacher hadn’t shown up yet nor were any of the other classmates, and it was the perfect time to put his plan into action. He hooks his foot around one of the legs of your chairs and slides you closer to him so he could whisper in your ear without much effort. “Let’s ditch this shit hole.” You could feel the smirk against the lobe of your ear and the heat from his breath sent a shiver up your spine. With a heavy sigh, you glared at him and could tell from the twinkle in his caverns of amethyst that it was going to be an uphill battle to change his mind. “C’mon, goody two shoes. We won’t be gone long.” A blatant lie. “Belphegor, you know as well as I do that I can’t do that.” You were trying your best to stand firm, undeterred by his attempts at coercing you in hopes that his laziness would make its grand appearance and he’d give up. But not this time. This time, Belphegor had something he wanted to do for you and he wasn’t about to give up. “MC...,” he places a warm hand on your upper thigh, giving it a light squeeze as he leans in to the skin just below your ear with his lips grazing it, “what’s the matter? Afraid Lucifer will find out and tear you a new one?” He shifted his free hand to the bottom of your chair and jerks it around for your body to face his direction, his lips now very close to your own. He brings the hand from the chair up to your face and holds your chin snug between his index and thumb. Your face heats up enough that it could melt lava and your body tenses. You hear him chuckle lowly to himself, amused by how worked up you become from his actions. “What if he’s too busy nagging me to pay any attention to you? Hm? Worst comes to worst, we can just knock it up to you being ignorant of my...,” he pauses, rubbing his thumb across your bottom lip while stealing a glance at them, then looks back up to you, “advances... and he lets you off the hook? What do you say to that, MC?” Your mind was empty and his hands on your body were making it difficult to even comprehend his proposal. You could only think of the low rumble of his voice and whatever the hell it was saying was probably going to come back to bite you in the ass later. However, something about the way he said it, the way he teased you in a such a way to get what he wanted... it was hard saying no.

You slowly nod your head, and the hands that once pinned you in place from the gentlest of touches released you a little too quickly. “Great!” he chirped in victory, standing up from his chair and offering his hand to you. You shot him another glare and reluctantly took his hand with an annoyed squeeze to his fingers. “Not for long. Promise?” He giggled, scooping you up into his arms bridal style. “No. Now act sick until we get to the attic. Don’t want anyone thinking there’s nothing wrong with you and you don’t need a day off.” You crossed your arms in a huff, feeling humiliatingly duped. But the way he was holding you made you feel a little bit better about it all, taking into account how much he truly cared for you and teasing you was just his cheeky way of showing it, while also getting whatever it is he wanted. With that in mind, you curled into his embrace and fully indulged in his scheme, letting out a few test trial, fake coughs and thought of something that distressed you to get the tears going... mostly for the runny nose and puffy eye effect. “Careful. Too great a performance and they’ll be badgering Diavolo to revive you in exchange for their soul.” You reeled back with your outermost arm and sent a heavy blow to his chest. “Kidding,” he laughed. “...sort of.”

Once you two make it behind the door of the attic with a quick turn of the lock, he sets you back down onto your feet and stretches his arms out followed by an audible yawn. “You almost had Mammon shift into his demon form over you. Great job.” he quipped. “Yeah, and I hated every second of it. Can we just nap already? All the crying and fake coughing tuckered me out,” you retorted. “Sure, I’ll grab our favorite blankets,” he said, ducking away to go get them. “And I’ll get the pillows and stuffed creatures.”

You separated for a moment to gather the necessities, tossed them onto the bed, and then huddled up to snuggle close beneath the mountain of comfort. You hooked a leg over his waist and he slid one between your legs, while you wrapped your arms around his neck and he draped one of his over your side, nuzzling his face into your chest. “‘night MC... and thank you.” he mumbled. You placed a chaste kiss to the top of his head and replied, “You’re welcome, Belphie. Sleep tight.” “You too.” And with your bids of sweet sayonara, you drift off into a deep slumber, one that only clinging to The Avatar of Sloth could provide.

One of the perks of being said Avatar of Sloth is that he can visit other people’s dreams, especially if he shares a strong connection with the host. Whenever you shared naps together, he’d sneak his way into your dream world and your mind was like a shared secret hideout because it was the only place you two could be alone for extended periods of time. It was also your own wonderland because he could make ANYthing happen. You wanted to fly amongst the stars? He’d take your hands and lift you both into the atmosphere. You wanted to become your favorite human world creature? He’d snap his fingers and away you two would scurry off. Whatever it was that you wished, he could make it happen within your unconscious mind. However, this go around, Belphie had a wish of his very own and one that he hoped you would grant.

Once he snuck into your dreams, he soon spotted you laid back peacefully upon a cloud, reaching your hand up to rearrange the stars in different shapes and patterns. He noticed you had made one of him and yourself, holding hands. The smile that crept onto his face was impossible to hide, no matter how hard he tried to come off as cold or indifferent. “Always knew you had an artistic streak in you.” You jumped at the sound of his voice, sitting up and clutching your chest. “That was fast,” you breathed. “A warning would be nice.”

“Why? I wouldn’t be able to get such a cute reaction out of you if I did.” He floated towards you and hoisted himself up to his place beside you on the cloud. “How charming,” you teased, nudging his shoulder with your own, earning yourself a light chortle from him. “So,” you continued, “what shall we do this time? Sail some open seas as pirates? Rob a bank as outlaws in the old west? Or maybe-.” He places a hand over your mouth and shakes his head with his shoulders jumping in light laughter. “You seem to forget who I am, silly. I say we continue from where you left off before you were so rudely interrupted, hm?” He lays back onto the cloud and pulls you down next to him. Then, he takes your hand by the wrist and lifts it back up to the stars and starts moving your fingers in different motions so that you’re creating various works of art as you had been before. Getting the picture, you giggle and continue moving your fingers to shape the stars with him watching you in adoration... but he’d never tell you he did so. At some point you make a cow and point it out to him, laughing at your own joke referring to him in his demon form. “See? The resemblance is astounding!” He smirks, sitting up and looking down at you. “Oh yeah?” he asks, his tone hinting towards a playful threat. “Yeah!” you swat at him.

That was your mistake.

He grips your wrist with one hand and rolls over top of you, taking your other hand and pinning both of them above your head. He trails his free hand from your face, down your side and rests it on your hip, keeping you in place beneath him. Your skin twitches under his gentle touch and your face heats up again as your breath becomes hitched in your throat. “N-not fair...” you whined, squirming and trying your best to get the upper hand. He shakes his head. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Still forgetting who I am, MC?” He leans down towards your ear, his lips grazing the lobe. He practically growls in your ear, “I don’t play fair.” His gripping on you tightens as he moves lower to sink his teeth down onto your neck, earning him a soft whimper, one that spurs him on further. He snakes his hand from your hip beneath your shirt and runs it up and down your sides as he moves his lips to yours, giving them a bite every so often while occasionally slipping in his tongue. For the rest of the dream he is having his way with you and making your wildest fantasies become reality.. as much as your dreamworld allowed.

When he wakes, he opens his eyes to an empty spot beside him where you normally laid. He sits up, scratching his head and finding a new sense of uncomfortableness beneath the blankets, particularly at his groin. He searches the room for you but you’re nowhere in sight. “MC?” You pop your head around the corner of the bathroom doorway, weariness still in your eyes. “hmmm, yes Belphie?” As you switch off the light and shuffle back to the bed, slipping back underneath the blankets, he’s eyeing you in suspicion. “When did you wake up?” He asks, a gravel to his voice from such a deep slumber. “Well, as you were watching me paint with stars, my body woke me up because I had to use the bathroom...” you paused a moment in thought. “Did I miss something in dreamworld?” He ponders your statement for a second, unsure of how to respond. What it be so bad if he was just honest and told you what happened between him and.. what was supposed to be you? “Yes, you did.” he smirked, “You painted a cow and said it looked like me.” “Haha, classic MC,” you quipped about yourself.

The remainder of your time playing hooky, you were the big spoon and his excuse was that it was more comfortable this way now. Unfazed, you snuggled up behind him and snaked your arm under his to place your hand against his chest. Only this time, he couldn’t sleep. Him. Mr. Sandman. Couldn’t sleep. His mind was reeling, constantly going over the way your body moved against his, how your voice and sounds were like lewd melodies to his ears, and the way you made him feel on another level... it kept him and his lower half up for as long as you were snuggled close to him and had your hand so close to his heart. However, the memory of the dream would last for eternity.

[sunflowersteves]

jealous thoughts || b.b.

summary || mob!au, you have to flirt with Bucky’s buyer and you were successful, however, Bucky was the least bit impressed.

author’s note || lmao i completely and utterly forgot to post this on tumblr but this was for the marvel x reader fic fest that @fandomsandxfiles​ had hosted!

warnings || jealousy, anger, smut!!, rough sex, fingering, [18+ only]

Main Masterlist

Bucky’s coming home today.

You sigh, taking a fluffy brush and placing some translucent powder onto your skin. Your fancy white dress felt like it was hugging you. You turned to see Alpine strutting into the bathroom and purring against your legs. Bucky had to deal with a couple of lackeys that turned out to be spies from the Russian Mob. He had to be in New Jersey as well, so it’s been an entire week without your sweet, loving husband.

You discovered that you had missed the little things. You missed how his arms would drape over your body, deep breaths fanning your neck, lips gently caressing your shoulder blade, and soft snores filling the silent air. You both would never miss a single night of cuddling, even when you were pissed off at each other.

Your nights grew colder each day under the bedsheets, Bucky’s warmth was completely absent. He would always have a plethora of water glasses sitting half-empty on the bedside table but now it was clutter-free and bare. Missing your husband was such an unpleasant and disrupting feeling. Every single night he had been gone, you rummaged through his side of the closet and wore one of his shirts to bed. You would relish in the smell and feel of him until the shirts started to lose the essence of him. It felt soul burning and heart wrenching that he wasn’t there right beside you.

You wanted his hot touched skin to radiate onto you. You wanted his hand to slowly slide down your stomach, inching closer and closer to your aching cunt. You wanted Bucky to run a bath after sex, gently cleaning each other. You would always watch Bucky with a swelled heart as each glance and touch that was placed upon your skin was filled with adoration and passion.

You laughed a bit at yourself for having these dramatic thoughts. It’s been only one single week and yet your fire burning ache for him only grew larger. You could survive perfectly in life without him, you knew that very well. You just didn’t want that life.

You try to shake the distracting thoughts from your head, concentrating on getting ready for the dinner party.

Tonight, you were supposed to attend this party with Bucky, however, he still wasn’t home. The party is hosted by one of Bucky’s buyers. Erik was very charming and handsome, he would always have a smile on his face until it turned into a frown. However, it was mostly never aimed at the two of you, as he always had worked well with you and Bucky. He would make sure that all the shipments would arrive on time and made sure that nobody would infiltrate them. He was Bucky’s favorite client to work with, minus the too long of a stare he would occasionally send your way.

The ping of your phone hit your ears and you quickly walked over to where it sat on the counter and took a peak.

Buckaroo: Stuck in traffic. Sorry, Doll.

You sigh, that burning sensation resonated deep within you. You tried to suppress it but you were getting so desperate to see your husband. He’s back in New York now with all of the traffic, he was so close to you yet not close enough. You grabbed your purse and swiftly walked out the door, telling Happy to drive to the venue.

The tall pale mansion with large open windows now became almost like a small house in the distance. Happy went on, talking about boxing the whole way. You never minded those conversations with Happy, however, tonight you just weren’t in the mood to indulge. You just wanted to be snuggled up at home next to Bucky.

~~

You walked up the large stairs that ascended into the skyscraper. Your dress was long and elegant, shaping all of your curves in just the right way. If Bucky was right by your side, he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of you and suggest to leave or as he would put it, “fuck this shipment, let's go fuck each other’s brains out.”

You quietly thank the waiter and grab a glass of champagne off of the tray. You softly sip on the bubbly drink, watching people mingle here and there. You heard loud laughter, soft-spoken words, and chatter throughout the grand room.

“All alone, angel?” A light smile tipped itself onto your lips, as you turned towards the figure next to you. “Bucky had some business to take care of.” He smiled brightly at you, his charming twinkling eyes staring right at you. He opened his arm out, gesturing for you to follow. “Shall we do business then, y/n?” You giggled and nodded, interlocking your arms together, and walking towards a more private area.

You sat down at the end of the big round table, Erik was on the other side, and some of his men stood right behind him. He tapped the side of his whiskey occasionally, the ring on his finger making a soft clunk every time. You kept still, sipping your champagne and hoping the bubbles will make you lighten up a bit. You’ve done Bucky’s business countless times, Steve and Sam would always joke that you did it better than he did.

You purse your lips and cleared your throat which got his attention. “I would like to make an offer.” You pause, waiting for his approval of the matter. He nods and you open your mouth to continue. “You are well aware of Bucky’s territory, with also his recent take over of crown heights. We know you’re in control of the downtown area, Bedford Stuyvesant, and Sunset Park.” An eyebrow rose on Erik’s face, intrigue taking over his features. “We’ve noticed a couple of your men scoping out Williamsburg, Bushwick, and East New York. Those are very large neighborhoods to control.”

He nodded, taking a small sip of his whiskey before replying. “Especially with the larger amounts of the police force in those neighborhoods. It’ll be harder to control the police state.”

Now you nodded, “Exactly. So Bucky and I are proposing that we take over those neighborhoods together. With both of our resources, we’d be able to take control of the neighborhood and the police state. We’d both get the profit 50/50 and we can divide the neighborhoods evenly.”

There was a long silence, Erik’s knuckle was near his lips, and he was staring right at you. You, on the other hand, were getting obscenely nervous. Your hands started to become clammy and your mind was running through every possibility that he was thinking. You were hoping that he would at least consider it but the more amount of silence that was suffocating the air, the more nervous you became.

“I don’t think this offer is for me. Sorry, y/n.” You sigh, taking another sip of your almost empty glass. “You know, you’d be getting 50/50 of the profit.” He snapped his finger and one of his men ran to get a cigar. He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and lit the cigar, taking big puffs that were released into the air.

“I think you and I both know that it’ll be much harder than that.” Your eyes locked with his and you knew he was right. What happened if one of Bucky’s men went into his territory and started a fight? What if it happened with Erik? There were a lot of possibilities that could end up in a war but you and Bucky had already thought about them.

Especially with you and Bucky trying to have a baby, you both have to eventually refrain from indulging yourselves in the normal mob business. You both already decided to give the business off to Sam and Steve. And knowing that they have the same moral compass as Bucky, there’s no way that they’d make a huge fuss over a new lackey getting in a fight with someone. The only time they’re dealt with is when they become disloyal.

You set down your glass onto the large table, “Bucky and I have elaborated every possibility we could think of.” Your eyes didn’t meet his. You knew that he was contemplating your decision but you looked over at the strong buff men right beside him. “We could also have altering schedules. That way, there would be no problems with fights or disputes. Communication is what makes this plan full proof and I don’t think NYPD realizes how much we’re willing to cooperate.” He raised an eyebrow. You could tell that he was interested and you were well aware that his concerns were valid. After all, the two biggest mob bosses working together would be tricky. “My answer is still no.”

For another five minutes, you two were going back and forth trying to convince the other to agree and disagree. “I’ve had enough of this game, y/n.” You cursed to yourself in your head. For whatever reason, he wouldn’t budge. You could tell your bargaining skills weren’t working and the two of you were getting more and more frustrating. You tried to only stare at the empty champagne glass, trying to think of another way to get his attention to agree.

A small sly smile reaches up on your face and you curtly walk over to where he was sitting. His bodyguards jumped towards you but he lifted his hand for them to stop. You could tell he was quite entertained by how you were acting this evening.

You placed yourself on his lap, the smirk still playing on your lips. His eyes were blown wide, he seemed quite surprised. You knew that that didn’t happen often, a little bit of pride swelled inside of you. You flirtatiously placed your hand on the peak of his shoulder, then making it move so slowly down his chest.

His eyebrows furrowed and he clicked his tongue, “you’re married.” you playfully shrugged, cringing a bit in your head but you knew it was only to play the part. You had to act like Bucky wasn’t enough. His hands then went to rest on your hips. Pre Bucky days this would make you become a flustered mess, your skin would almost tremble but now, you felt nothing as his fingers dipped right into your skin.

Your eyes twinkled as you whispered seductively in his ear. “I do what I want, Erik.” You nibbled slightly on his ear, making his breath crooked. Your other hand went down his chest again, swirling and feeling his tailored suit.

“We were both born in mafia families. It was arranged.” Technically, you weren’t lying. The two of you did have an arranged marriage, however, you ended up already being in love with Bucky. So, your parents and his parents went ahead and made the deal anyway. A smirk danced on his features, a fiery look in his eyes had ignited. “Alright. I’ll take you up on that offer, y/n. If it means I get to work with you more often.” You smile brightly at your success. Sure, he would try and advance himself at you again but you would cross that bridge when you go there. You were just happy that you got the deal. After doing some more business, you tell him that Bucky is supposed to be coming home and he offered to escort you out.

You took the offer and his men urged you to follow them. You stalked behind them, walking slowly while going through the long deserted hallway. You were looking ahead when right out of nowhere, you feel a pull to your arm. You were yanked over to the wall of the hallway and taken inside a dark room. You tried to scream but a hand quickly covered your mouth. You almost elbowed whoever the fuck was trying to kidnap you until you heard that soft silky voice you know all too well.

“Miss me, sweetheart? By the looks of it, you didn’t.” You ignored the last part of his comment, not caring about whatever he said. All you cared about was being back into his arms again. “Bucky!” You quickly get out of his kidnapping hold and enveloped him into a hug. You latched onto him so fast that his body rocked back a bit.

His light chuckles filled your ears but you could tell something was off. The chuckles didn’t meet his smile nor the crinkle in his eyes. It sounded too fake. You open your mouth to say something but he quickly stops it and detached himself from you. The loss of his body, especially being so close, made you shiver.

“I can’t believe you. Was our whole relationship a lie, then?” You shook your head, not understanding his comment. Furious about what? You didn’t understand it so you opened your mouth again but was swiftly interrupted. However, this time, his large booming voice made you jump.

“I mean, seriously! Cheating on me? How long have you been doing this, huh? Is that why Erik always wants to do business with us?” You almost slapped your forehead for not getting what Bucky was talking about sooner. He must’ve seen you with Erik, assuming that you were trying to get with him.

“Buck-” He harshly grabbed your wrists and pinned you up against the hard wall. His hot breath was fanning against your ear and his body was pressed against yours. Your heart rate skyrocketed at just his touch, electricity boiling over in your stomach. “I guess you need a reminder of who you belong to.”

You shouted out many protests as he yanked you off of the wall, into another small hallway, and right out the door. His face was stern, eyebrows were completely furrowed, and there was a glassy look of rage in his eyes. You could tell he was furious, his breaths were short and light, his tongue darted out to lick his dry lips, and his left hand would coil and uncoil.

So you shut yourself right up and let him take you to a sleek black car that was right outside the building. There was no point in arguing with him when you were already in deep shit for it looking like you were cheating. He opened the passenger side and shoved you into the seat. You quickly buckle your seatbelt as he gets into the driver's side, slamming the door behind him. He started the car and without a word, started to drive home.

His knuckles almost turned white with the grip he had on the steering wheel. If you didn’t think that angry Bucky was one of the hottest things to lay your eyes on then you would be lying to yourself. His muscles were bulging out of his pants and tight shirt, a couple of veins on his forehead were thick.

For the most part, you stared out the window, occasionally sighing. You were thinking about all the ways to explain to him your situation. You knew it would be best to explain yourself when he wasn’t angry but you wanted him to know that what you were doing was just a game, it wasn’t serious. You didn’t want him to start doubting himself. You didn’t want him to leave.

You were so engrossed in your thoughts that you didn’t notice Bucky’s hand resting on your thigh and inching closer to the edge of your underwear. By the time you fully noticed, his whole hand was down your pants. He quickly pushed your panties aside with his hand and ran the pads of his fingers up and down your entrance.

A little squeak emerged from your mouth as you peaked over to see a large playful smirk on his lips. Your juices ran up and down your entrance and his fingers moved to circle your clit. “Look at that. Look at how dripping wet you already are, doll.” A delicious moan escaped your mouth, you grabbed his forearm in urgency.

“Can Erik do this? Can Erik make you wet by just simply touching you?” You didn’t have time to react as he pushed a finger inside, slowly moving in and out of your throbbing pussy. “I need words, baby doll.”

You tried to form some kind of acknowledgment but it just turned into a stuttering mess, his movements growing faster. He tried to keep his eyes on the road but he turned towards you again, seeing as your eyes were screwed shut and your head was thrown back. You had opened your legs more as Bucky had pleasured you further.

“Answer the question or I stop.” You groaned at his gruff voice, it was demanding yet sweet. He had never acted like this before, controlling and pure wanting. You two have had a lot of sex but then again, he’s never thought you cheated either.

“Erik c-can’t make me feel t-this way.” You cried out in desperation as he inserted another finger and they curled just slightly. “Who does?” A burst of pleasure erupted in your stomach, his fingers now moving at a rapid pace and his thumb went to gently caress and circle your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“You do!” You screamed, and he never took his eyes off of you. You were so close, the knot in your stomach was beginning to unfold. Everything felt like it was throbbing and tightening, your whines kept filling the air. Your pussy clenched around his fingers, letting him know that you were close.

However, then that feeling of pleasure was gone. Bucky had taken his fingers out and just left you sitting there. “Buck-”

You stared in awe as he placed his fingers in his mouth. He tasted your juices, you could almost imagine his wet tongue sucking on his fingers. He let go with a pop, placing the hand back onto the steering wheel. “You taste divine, doll. But we’re almost home.”

So, you did what you could only think of, beg. “Bucky, please. I-I need you. Please, I need your cock or your fingers, anything! Nobody compares to you, I-” his eyes flickered over towards you but he lightly shook his head. He opened his mouth but you continued, hoping that he’d stop the car and take you right here. “Please, Bucky. Nobody makes me so needy as you do. I need your fingers, your lips, and your cock. Please, I need them-”

You were whining still as he pulled up in the driveway. You were interrupted by his car door opening and you quickly got out as well. You were about to get his attention again until he threw you over his shoulder and took large steps, stalking into the house.

“You’ve forgotten how I make you feel, or else you wouldn’t have flirted with Erik.” He didn’t waste any time and he set you on top of the large kitchen island. He pushed you down onto it, the cold marble hitting your back. He quickly undid his belt and roughly ripped your panties off. His plump lips went to immediately attack your neck, sucking and biting.

A large, tight gasp lifted upon your lips, his thick cock was sliding back and forth, teasing your entrance. “Bucky, please!” Your body couldn’t help but writhe on the island as he slammed his thick cock into you. His pace was fast and hard, his fingers went to circle your clit again which made you squirm underneath him. “Fuck, babydoll.”

“Yes, yes, fuck,” You screamed out, grabbing the ends of the island your hands almost cramping from how tight you were holding on to it.

“You’re mine, you got that? My beautiful, sexy wife. I can’t live without you, doll.” the sound of skin on skin was loud and thick, you were moaning and whimpering as his cock filled you up just right. You started to feel that tight coil again, “You going to cum, baby? I want you to cum all over me, okay?”

He sounded desperate, almost begging for him to feel you orgasm all over him. You moaned his name over and over again, your mind only thinking about your husband. “Let it go, baby. I got you.” You let out a long cry, cumming all over his cock. Sloppy juices ran down your thighs and it covered Bucky whole. A low groan sounded from his throat, continuing to push himself in and out of you.

A long moan escaped his mouth. He was about to take himself out of you but you stopped him, urging for him to cum inside of you. “Doll, if you don’t want to-” You shook your head, pressing your forehead against his. “I want to, Buck. I want a baby with you.”

Just that sentence had hit him over the edge, his head was forced back and his eyes were snapped shut. You could feel his cum inside of you, he shouted your name over and over again. He continued shooting himself all in you, and your moans were mixed. You were both panting, no words were shared for quite some time. His hands then lowered from your stomach to your hips, squeezing them a bit.

He went to open his mouth, a concerned look was given your way but this time, you interrupted him. “I got the deal.” His hands still rested on your hips but his head cocked to the side in confusion. “What?”

You nodded, taking your hand and resting your palm against his cheek. He subconsciously leaned towards the warmth of your hand. “I’m so so sorry that you had to see what you did. I promise you though, you’re enough.” Tears had fully rolled down his face, his sniffles filling the air. After what he had seen earlier, he needed to hear that. “You’re more than enough, Buck—you’re the sunshine in my life.”

Your sobs punctured the air, your chest tightening even more at the thought of Bucky becoming insecure because of you. He lifts his lips into a small smile while you move your thumb up and down on his cheek.

His body became closer now, his torso between your thighs. “Erik wouldn’t budge when I offered him the deal. He kept refusing and it was getting to the point where we were both just so frustrated. I had a hunch that he found me attractive. So, I used that to my advantage and we got the 50/50 deal on territory and profits.” A large smile burst onto Bucky’s face, he seemed very relieved that what he saw wasn’t true.

“Oh, you flirt!” You slapped his chest, both of your bubbly laughter engulfing the kitchen. “Now that I know the truth, I’m not going to lie, you deceiving others is pretty hot.” His hand reached down and intertwined it with yours. A hum left his lips as the hand that was on your cheek moved to play with his hair.

“It’s hot, huh? Guess I should do it more often.” His forehead leaned down to touch yours, a light content sigh leaving his lips. “I’m serious, Buck. I love you more than anything.” His hand reached up and touched the shape of your nose, eyes flickering around your face almost like he was memorizing it. “I love you too, doll.”

He straightened up a bit, his sweet smile turning into a cocky smirk. “Well then, for getting the deal done, we should have victory sex.” You giggled, pressing a long-overdue kiss on his lips. “I think that’s a great idea. But this time, baby, I’m in charge.” He chuckled, lifting your torso so you were now wrapped around his body and he started walking towards the bedroom. “Anything for you, my beautiful wife.”

[strawberrysoup]

Pocketful of Posies || Chapter 5

You’d been hiding for years and years now; from your family, from society, from alphas and packs. Suppressants were dangerous but effective and necessary for an omega who refused to be owned—but no suppressants were strong enough to fool the nose of a super soldier, who together with his pack would stop at nothing to bind you to them forever.

pairings: dark!Avengers x reader

word length: 4.7k

chapters: 5/?

warnings: A/B/O dynamics, power imbalances, noncon and dubcon sexual situations, loss of autonomy, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat — this is a dark!fic, read at your own risk. more detailed content warnings are included at the end of the chapter to avoid spoilers, click through the read more, CTRL + F “content warnings”. 

Rationality within Carol’s pack was often treated like a talking stick; only one person could have and use it at a time, and stealing it required either brute force or a clever trick—which was why she and Loki fumbled it back and forth so often. Sam seemed to have snatched it for a moment, until their omega’s sharp tongue made him fumble. She was cutting and brutal, as wild as she’d looked the first time Carol saw her: covered in mud and blood, half soaked from the bath and thrashing violently while Thor and Peter tried to gently get her in the tub.

The blonde figured it was time to regain the upper hand over their omega and came to stand at the top of the stairs, eyes locking on Sam from behind. He was turning the corner from patience to frustration, their little omega’s demeaning comments making the muscle in his jaw clench. It was impressive though; any of the other alpha’s in the house (plus herself and maybe minus Peter) would’ve had her nose in the corner by now, bent over to hold her own ankles and struggling for balance so that her forehead didn’t press against the wall lest she earn herself a spanking for being sulky.

“Alright Sammy, tag out,” Carol made sure that there was an undertone of mirth in her voice, hoping to bring the other alpha out of his anger. “You should probably go check on dinner and—Bruce, test results?”

“Oh, you’re right,” the beta nodded, immediately headed for the stairs. “Her hormone analysis should be ready at the least.”

The moment her eyes landed on the little omega on the bed, Carol felt her heart melt just a bit. Despite the vitriol she’d been spitting just moments before, the precious thing looked like an angel sprawled out in their den. All she wore was one of Thor’s t-shirts, the hem brushing the tops of her thighs and perfuming her scentless skin with his musk—she couldn’t wait until the suppressants were out of their omega’s system, Carol desperately wanted to know what she smelled like.

“Sammy?” The blonde prompted when the male alpha didn’t move, leading him to sigh.

“Yeah babe,” he leaned over and pressed a kiss against the omega’s forehead, ignoring how she shrunk back into the pillows behind her. “I’m out. Take care of her, beautiful.”

Sam stopped to press a kiss against Carol’s cheek on his way down the stairs, gesturing for Tony to follow. The genius rolled his eyes and huffed but followed nonetheless, only after tossing a wink at the scowling omega huddled in what would hopefully soon be a nest. Carol waited until they were both down before returning her attention to the younger woman, stomach filling with butterflies.

Carol had wanted an omega since she presented as an alpha at twelve. 90% of the people she interacted with thought she was such a waste—a female alpha? Objectively, a useless combination. Female alphas were weak and passive, certainly not strong enough to lead a pack or produce strong alpha babies. If only she’d been a delta or a beta, she could’ve at least carried children. She’d always been fully aware that society’s perspective was incredibly flawed; she was as dominant as any male, just as potent and just as strong. Stronger even—more recently by unimaginable levels.

But omegas rarely looked negatively upon female alphas. Omegas preened and clamored for the attention female alphas provided, they saw it as more tender and careful. Carol didn’t know if she exactly agreed with that either, but at least an omega would never look at her and consider her a very pretty waste.

Or so the blonde had thought, right up until making eye contact with the sweet-faced omega her pack had managed to stumble upon. She certainly didn’t look pleased, her glare verging on incendiary.

“You sure are feisty,” she felt her lips quirking at the corners, especially when the omega seemed to puff up like an angry kitten. “What you said to Sam wasn’t very nice. You gonna hiss at me too?”

The answer was a resounding yes, the cute, clicking cub growl she made only reinforcing Carol’s gut instinct that the little omega was perfect. She liked that fire, it wasn’t disrespectful—it demanded respect and the blonde could certainly understand that sort of attitude. Considering her omega’s evident disdain for modern presentation centered care, it could even be considered mild.

“Claws away, baby,” she ordered, tone amused and the smile still curling her lips as she toed her shoes off at the edge of the bed. “Be a good girl for me now.”

Carol pressed the omega flat to the bed before she could fight, plastering herself against the half-naked woman and burying her face in the crook of her neck. Scenting deeply made the blonde’s eyes roll back in her head—the faint scent of panicking omega wafted off her skin, only noticeable at such a distance. Thank God the Hulk picked it up, the alpha’s senses so incredibly strong that even while masked by Bruce’s beta he had picked up the faint whiff of omega; if Bruce hadn’t prompted Steve to scent carefully they might not’ve found her. Carol hadn’t been the only one in the pack desperate for an omega.

Thor had been… devastated to learn of the lack of omegas on Earth. With the destruction of Asgard and the remaining population’s relocation, it had been another gut punch to the alpha prime who’s people had already endured so much. He’d spoken at length about how omega Aesir were different than humans’ and the tone of longing and sadness in the prime had radiated through their entire pack.

The deltas, Bucky, Tony and Loki had all realized years ago how sorely their dynamic suffered without an omega. A delta’s overwhelming physiological drive was to provide support and comfort to pack members, their intuition let them see their packmates in a way the other presentation’s couldn’t replicate. Their pack’s deltas were all incredibly intuitive, beyond the norm, and without an omega to properly direct them they got manipulative. It was rarely antagonistic or cruel and if there had only been one delta in the pack, it would’ve slid by without notice—but deltas perceived the deception where others didn’t and it usually led to dissent amongst the three.

And while Steve had never said a word, Carol knew that as a sickly little beta he’d dreamt of being ‘strong enough to deserve an omega’. Bucky had mentioned it briefly—as had Tony, who’d heard it from his father at least biweekly. Steve loved omegas; he loved that they balanced an incredible strength with equal fragility. The very nature of them spoke to his inner artist, ‘his inner romantic,’ Bucky had teased. Now that he was a big ass alpha prime? He could deserve an omega now, he was strong enough now.

Their omega was practically a miracle, considering how few of them there were—so few adults, especially. Some claimed the overall population of omegas was going up despite the overwhelming evidence of the opposite and besides, the number of omegas born every year didn’t matter when you had packmates approaching their mid-forties. Tony, Bruce, and Clint were getting up there, as everyone liked to tease. Finding a reasonably aged omega that was also unclaimed? They’d never even considered the possibility, it was unfathomable.

Carol had consoled herself with the knowledge that her pack loved her deeply, found no fault in her gender or presentation. She knew it would take time, but soon her omega would realize the same. There was nothing wrong with her, she didn’t need to hide or put on a façade; not in their pack, not under their protection. Whatever the omega had gone through in her life must’ve been traumatizing, the blonde could only assume some sort of abuse, and it would be tough to instill confidence in her. They’d need to build her back up from scratch.

“You know, if you’d let Wanda search your mind, we’d have a much easier time understanding what’s going on,” the blonde murmured into the omega’s neck, nose brushing back and forth over her left scent gland. “Will you tell me why you’re so scared? Are you afraid of alphas or of packs? Or deltas?”

“I’m afraid of being trapped forever by a bunch of fucking rapists and kidnappers!” She spat furiously in response, struggling futilely under Carol’s careful grasp. “Get your fucking face out of my neck!”

“Packs it is then,” Carol sighed, lifting her head but keeping the woman pinned beneath her.

“You’re so shifty ‘mega, calm down. There are some horrible people out there, we know that better than anyone, and I’m sorry that you were hurt. I’m sorry you had to go through whatever it was.”

The omega froze, muscles pulling so tightly that she started to shiver. Her lips pursed, jaw clenching and her eyes got dim, lashes fluttering as she looked into the distance over Carol’s shoulder. It was a dead-eyed stare, one the blonde had seen before. Her baby was half trapped in a memory, tightly clenched hands clawing at Carol’s shirt and trying to force her body away.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry, come back—” Carol cooed into the omega’s ear, holding her tighter as she struggled. “You’re with me baby, you’re safe. Breathe with me, come back to me.”

“Would you fucking get off!” The omega choked, sounding both parts desolate and frustrated. “Why don’t you people fucking listen? Am I speaking gibberish?”

“I’m sorry you’re so angry omega,” the blonde’s eyebrows furrowed, sadness permeating her expression as she lowered her head to rest her forehead against the omega’s. “I’m sorry, I can’t get off—you need the pheromones, the alpha contact chemicals. Even if you’re traumatized, once the suppressants you’re on start to wear off you’re going to have to submit. We need to start practicing now so you can get comfortable with it, before it’s critical for your health.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry, you’re not sorry! If you were, you would’ve let me go. You wouldn’t be holding me here! I don’t need or want your help, I don’t want to be in a pack!”

“I hear you, baby, I promise I understand what you’re saying,” Carol carefully pinned one of the flailing omega’s arms down with her knee, reaching up to stroke the woman’s face. “You don’t want to be here, you don’t want to have a pack, I’m sure you don’t want to be bonded to us. But you’re on so many suppressants baby, there are so many mind-altering chemicals in the shit you were taking—”

“If you force me to stop taking them I’ll only be under the ‘mind-altering’ chemicals produced by the other presentations and—and this stupid collar forcing my body to produce addictive chemicals at a rapid rate,” she argued, “you want to argue that I’m out of my mind like I can’t be trusted with my own safety! I’m fully conscious, I’m not stupid, I’m an adult for fuck’s sake. The only thing that’s going to fuck up my personal agency is you!”

“We’ll know for sure when Bruce gets your test results back,” Carol sighed realizing how unlikely it would be for her to get through to the omega. “Tony’s having some equipment dropped by in the morning so he and Bruce can run some more. If your hormone levels aren’t entirely trashed, we’ll revisit this conversation.”

“You have to let me take my suppressants tonight then,” the omega pushed against the blonde again, grunting with effort and irritation when she didn’t move at all. “Otherwise the test results from today won’t match the ones tomorrow, missing a dose will entirely trash my hormone levels! The tests won’t provide an accurate reading!”

Carol was shaking her head before she’d even finished the explanation. “No way, there’s a reason those are illegal, baby. They’re so dangerous—”

“I’ve been taking them for fifteen years and I’m completely fine, come on—”

She watched the omega’s face fall when she sighed, “it’s not gonna happen baby. This one isn’t up for debate.”

“This one?” The omega scoffed bitterly, lips twisting as angry tears collected in her eyes. “Nothing is ‘up for debate’. I’m here, aren’t I? Obviously against my will. I’m not even wearing my own clothes, you won’t let me move! You’re acting like this is the one bit of agency you’re planning to strip from me but you’re either too stupid to realize that or you’re too caught up in the idea of having a house bitch to care!”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Carol frowned, thumb smoothing over the crease between her brows. “We’re not looking to ruin your life, baby. The last thing we want is to make you meek or take away your ability to make your own choices, but we have to take care of you.”

“Y-you don’t though,” she hissed, breath hitching as she fought not to cry in front of the alpha. “I’ve been taking care of-of myself for years. I’ve never had a problem I’ve—I’ve never been attacked or assaulted or—”

Carol shifted until the omega was cradled in her lap, easily blocking the omega’s attempts to escape her grasp, “If that’s true baby girl, I don’t think you understand how rare it is—or how it would mean you were poisoning yourself so thoroughly that no alpha could scent you. There’s too many people out there would hurt you just for being you; the only way for you to be safe is with us, where you don’t have to keep taking the pill equivalent of drinking gasoline and bleach.”

��I should have the choice!”

“The choice to slowly kill yourself?” The blonde looked down into the omega’s face in disbelief. “No one in their right mind would allow another person to suffer like that.”

Their attention was suddenly and brutally drawn to the stairwell, both of their hindbrains reacting to the scent of overwhelmingly aroused alphas accompanied by raised voices and shouting. The omega in her lap went completely and utterly still, instincts locking down all movement as if it could prevent her from being seen. Carol sighed quietly through her nose, nudging her forehead gently against the charming little creature hiding against her chest. She couldn’t really tell what they were yelling about but she figured it had something to do with whatever Bruce found.

“Someone has to—!”

“That doesn’t mean—!”

“It should be—!”

The blonde cracked her neck, arms slipping around the waist of her omega and locking in place like iron bands. The cowering made it easier for Carol to snuggle her tightly against her chest, wiggling them carefully as several pairs of feet began stomping up the stairs, until the omega was entirely engulfed by the alpha from behind. Steve and Thor made it up first, shoulder to shoulder and passive-aggressively nudging each other in the ribs. Sam was next, along with Bucky—both of whom were being decidedly antagonistic to poor Peter who followed behind.

“Would you guys shut the hell up? What’s going on?”

Before anyone else could respond Bruce forced his way between the group of more dominant males, eyes flashing green even as he attempted to shake it off, “the amount of alpha pheromone in her blood is so low it’s amazing she isn’t in shock.”

“What?!” The omega snapped furiously, eyes darting between the people standing around the room nervously. “There’s nothing wrong with me—!”

“Carol, hold her,” Steve ordered, as if the blonde hadn’t locked the omega down the second they heard them coming. “Thor, how are we gonna do this?”

Both primes looked almost pained, their faces painted with grimaces as they exchanged glances. Their struggle was easy to identify; neither wanted to cause any strife between them, damage to their partnership would damage the pack but they wanted to be first. Their hindbrains could barely function beyond the desire to fuck their omega, their pretty, sweet little omega who desperately needed alpha semen because her body would stop functioning without it. Primes always got first take on omegas, but when there were two primes in a pack things got dicey.

“Have one of us do it,” Carol chimed, carefully maintaining an expression that relayed she wasn’t trying to step on toes. “Both of you are massive, you could do damage without proper prep and if it’s that serious we can’t wait on that.”

“I’ll do it!” Peter was quick to step forward. “You all know I’ll the gentlest and she’s already upset—”

“Shut it Spiderboy,” Sam quickly interjected, giving the younger alpha a stern look, “she needs careful handling, not some teenager fumbling with his knot.”

“I’m not a teenager anymore you asshole—!”

“Carol’s cock is the smallest,” Tony stated nonchalantly as he kicked off his shoes in the closet that faced the den, “no offense babe, just logistics.”  

“None taken,” the blonde snorted slightly in amusement before turning her attention to the two primes, “I can get her started, at least get her hormones on the right track.”

“Let go of me you psycho!” The omega howled, voice constricted by her collar. “Get away from me, let me go!”

A low, bone-deep rumble suddenly washed over everyone in the attic, the growl emanating from both Steve and Thor. A keening moan escaped the omega, her breath hitching and eyes rolling as viscous slick gushed from her pussy. The scent of it made waves through the rest of the pack, a cacophony of moans and growls echoing off the high ceiling as the responding scent of hot and bothered emanated through the den.

“Thor?” Steve questioned the other prime imploringly, knowing that they needed an immediate answer and follow through.

The taller man grit his teeth, nose flaring for several moments before he let out another low growl that made their omega cry with arousal. “You first—leave my shirt on her, please.”

“Oh God, oh God,” the whimpering omega shifted in Carol’s arms, likely about to try to make a break for it when Steve swept her up into his arms. “Please, wait—!”

“Your pussy is dripping for your primes, isn’t it precious?” The alpha male hummed quietly as he swiftly lowered them both to the bed, hands grasping the backs of her thighs and pressing her knees towards her shoulders. “So much slick for such a little thing.”

The whine that came from Peter sounded wrecked, only minutely more embarrassing than the groans and panting coming from the rest of the pack as they watched. The omega looked to be approaching frantic and Carol sighed, shifting farther away from the prime on the bed—there was no reason to test Steve’s incredible patience. Well, that had been Carol’s opinion anyway.

Evidently Loki believed otherwise, but then again the delta was habitually prone to testing Steve’s last goddamn nerve. The brunet had appeared with a shimmering green light, lying on the bed so close to the omega that the scent from his ridiculously expensive Fendi sweater was transferring to her arm and shoulder. The prime had barely flinched, certainly hadn’t reacted in a manner more noticeable than a slight dilation in his pupil. Thor made a reprimanding noise but didn’t move forward to remove the delta, much to Bucky and Tony’s immediate disdain.

“Why the fuck does he get to—!”

“You better rethink that, Ice Man!”

The combined snarls from both primes quickly brought all three deltas to heel and while Loki didn’t retreat, he did keep his hands to himself. One hand propped up his head, the other tightly fisted and rested on the bed between himself and the omega’s borrowed shirt while eyes burned into him from all sides. The omega’s wide eyes were locked on the man, some flicker of recognition fleetingly passing over her face. Loki was good at surprise entrances and even better at taking advantage of his brother’s status in the pack—not that he necessarily got away with things the others wouldn’t, but none of the others particularly wanted to find out what the prime’s breaking point was either.

“I just want to keep her calm, is that so horrible?” The tone the God used was smooth and Carol remembered the talking stick analogy again. “You can smell the poor thing’s terror, is it really necessary?”

Steve looked conflicted for maybe two seconds when a light went off behind his eyes. “Keep her calm so I don’t have to purr and you can stay.”

The delta’s hand immediately slipped up the front of her shirt, cupping the curve of her rib cage just under her breast. His nose pressed into her neck in the following moments, a small golden glow flowing over the little omega’s skin where he touched her. The odor of fear was quick to recede once the windows were open, replaced with the tangy-sweet scent of her pussy. Carol inhaled sharply and whined, drawing Steve’s attention to her wide, sad eyes.

The prime huffed, running one big hand through his hair while Loki held the omega’s thigh in place. “Hands to yourself, Carol.”

The blonde immediately tucked her nose into the other side of the omega’s neck, hands clenched into fists and tucked tightly against her stomach. She could hear the rest of the pack shuffling around, vying for space and views on the bed. Steve seemed entirely unbothered, his gaze once again locked on the pretty omega’s.

“Is your cunt working your slick hard enough precious?” He murmured directly into her ear, lips brushing the skin gently. “If those muscles aren’t strong enough we might have to put in a bit more effort to stretch you out. Squeeze around my fingers baby.”

Carol’s eyes rolled back when a breathy whine escaped the omega, the only perceivable reaction that might’ve betrayed her fear—otherwise, whatever magic Loki had used made her eyes shine with bliss. Steve had two fingers knuckle deep in her cunt, still pressing forward while his slick coated thumb swept up through her folds to pass over her clit. She shook under the grasp of his packmates, hips shifting without her consent to follow the movement of his hand.

“Come on sweetheart, please?” Steve implored quietly, looking at the loosely pinned omega with soft eyes. “Clench your pussy for me, let me take care of you. Please, I—oh, there you go, that’s a good girl.”

He hummed, working his fingers deeper into her cunt and scissoring them carefully. A smile lit the prime’s face when the cutest hiccupping moan escaped the omega, her legs pressing futilely against his hold. Muscle memory tried to guide her legs closed but Carol easily slipped a hand around her knee, keeping her spread wide while Steve continued to stretch her pussy. Another bass toned growl from Thor reverberated off the walls and she wailed, slick dripping over Steve’s fingers while her pussy contracted in waves as commanded by the prime’s guttural growl.

“I’m gonna take care of you precious,” her low whine prompted a moan from Steve as he added a third finger, carefully pressing the pads of his fingers up against her g-spot. “You’ll feel so much better once we fuck you, I promise.”

Carol watched with heavily lidded eyes as the omega’s attention was sparked by Steve’s use of the collective we. Likely it was only Loki’s magic that kept her from lashing out as viciously as they knew she was capable of. In spite of it, her little teeth showed, sharp incisors flashing in a botched hiss. The prime poised himself over her carefully with a small grin, fingers still fucking into her with vigor while he rested his weight on his elbow next to her head.

“It’s gonna be okay omega, it’s gonna be okay,” he cooed quietly against her ear, removing his hand only to pull his cock from his pants. “Take deep breaths, baby.”

“Don’t—” She didn’t sound distressed, the omega sounded aroused and desperate, “I—”

“Shhhh,” the prime’s lips skimmed over her cheeks, down her nose while his hand guided his dick up and down her slick folds until he was dripping with her arousal. “I’m gonna take care of you, precious. We’re gonna take care of you.”

The sound that escaped the omega’s lips as he slipped into her was goosebump inducing in the best way. She whined as the head popped in, breath hitching with every millimetre that came thereafter—and there were a lot of them. The omega was squirming, her heels scrambling against the blankets and both Loki and Carol found themselves having to focus much harder than expected on keeping her still while Steve bottomed out.

“You’re doing so well, darling,” Loki cooed, his nose brushing the line of her jaw. “I know it’s a lot but you’re taking it beautifully. Stay still love, just relax we’ll hold you.”

“That’s right ‘mega,” Steve groaned as he withdrew, the squelch of her cunt making his teeth clench. “We’ll do all the work precious, you just have to be a good girl and take my cock.”

It was easier said than done and everyone in the room save Thor was fully aware of that. The omega’s sweet little whines and cries were causing a massive feedback loop of arousal in the pack’s consciousness and Carol was pretty sure she could hear the sounds of several people going at it but she couldn’t pull her gaze away from where Steve’s cock was drilling into that pretty cunt. Evidently said feedback loop was also affecting Steve, who very suddenly growled possessively.

“Carol, Loki, off,” The prime snapped barely hesitating before dropping his elbows into the pillows on either side of the omega’s head, narrowly avoiding giving his pack mates concussions. “Now.”

Both the alpha and the delta were yanked off the bed by their ankles—well, Carol was yanked off the bed. Loki was yanked off the bed and then promptly thrown into the wall by said ankles. The reinforced exterior wall meant there was only a small dent where the god had landed, but the ensuing ruckus had a strong potential of causing even more damage. Thor immediately turned to deal with the problem, along with several other packmates.

Several things occurred in the next few seconds and the pack would probably fight about what really happened for the next twenty years, but somehow Bucky was thrown through the window and Tony’s right ring finger was broken.

And Wanda—poor Wanda, Thor pushed her out of the way before Bucky could accidentally take her through the window with him. The beta was sent flying, sailing across the bed until she hit the unyielding form of Steve. He startled in shock, immediately drawing back to assess her condition—only for a heel to slam directly into his nose. The prime’s head snapped back from the force, big body falling backwards while his hands scrambled for purchase on his face.

The omega probably would’ve even gotten down the stairs if Natasha hadn’t been ascending the stairs at that moment, having heard the commotion from where she and Clint had been putting away groceries. The redhead smelled her before seeing her, a somewhat sinister grin pulling Nat’s lips when the omega ran directly into her while attempting escape #2.

“Now where are you going, kitten? With that mess dripping down your thighs,” the beta cooed, head tilting as she scented the air. “Why can I smell Steve on you, but not his cum?”

There was a horrible, long pause while the omega seemed to consider her options before landing on Go For Broke. She attempted to dodge past Natasha but the beta’s strong arm immediately lashed around her waist, her superior strength making it easy to force her up the stairs even as she refused to hold her own weight.

Steve met them just two steps from the top, dick out and covered in blood. The prime’s expression wasn’t so much angry as it was disappointed and Natasha hummed in false sympathy.

“Someone’s been naughty, huh kitten?”

content warnings: nonconsensual sex, voyeurism 

[marblesphere]

Dream or Reality (Noctis x Reader)

I wrote this fic years ago. So, I fixed up a little and decided to post it here. I have also posted it in devianart under LastMoogleHunter. Happy reading!

“Aaaaahhh….what a boring day, always the same. There’s nothing new, nothing makes me excited.” I sighed for the umpteenth times. I see, I haven’t introduced myself, my name is [Name] [Last Name], I am 12th grade in Destiny High. This is my last year, thus was recommended in making good memories. Though…there is nothing fun, I wish Final Fantasy characters are real people. That’ll so much fun, especially if there is Noctis.....

Kyaaaa!!! I am so embarassed... ahem, let’s put that aside and let’s get onto the story.

This morning also has the same routine, wake up, bath, breakfast, school, home, dinner, sleep and so on. And coincidentally my literature teacher decides it’s fun to see her students suffer, and thus given us a homework about composition. I groan, this is going to kill my brain cells. “God, please let my life get interesting such as Final Fantasy character come to life..... Just kidding, it’s not like it can be granted anyway.” I exhaled. I put my homework and stationery on my desk and start thinking about the theme I am going to write. Not long after I start doze off.

My internal clock woke me up from my slumber. Groggily, I glance my clock and it shows 6.30 a.m. I blink once, twice and rub my eyes to make sure I am not mistaking it. In instant, all sleepiness fades away. ”Aaaahh!! I am late!!” I freaked out and with lightning speed I took a bath. While I was stripping though, something fell from my shorts’ pocket. I pick it up and examine it, it was a golden watch. Curious, I open it and something was craved on the lid ‘aeternam vinculo’ ‘what’s this mean? More importantly when I got this thing?’ I was thinking and completely forgotten the time.

“[Name]! breakfast is ready!” Kaa-san called.

“No way!” I yelped and resumed my activity.

I run down the stairs and eat breakfast quickly, “[Name], there’s still some time.” Kaa-san said.

I gulp down my orange juice, “Gotta go. Bye Kaa-san, Tou-san.” I said as I ran to school. Fortunately, the distance to school from my house is not that far. Upon arriving there, I still see a lot of students leisurely walking to the school. Looks like I am safe. I sigh in relief as I pat my chest. suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around, but the sight of that ‘someone’ tapping my shoulder made my eyes widenend.

“Morning.” He said, while I blinked once, twice, titled my head and stare at him as he is an alien landing on earth. The person who greeted me is no other than the famous Chocobo head, Cloud Strife.

I keep staring at him without blinking. “You…” I could only manage a word to come out from my mouth.

Cloud looks at me oddly, “What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“Good morning you two.” A new voice called. Our head snap to that direction and find Tifa and Yuffie are walking toward us.

My eyes widened ‘[Name].exe is shutting down.’ I can practically hear a robotic voice said that. ‘What exactly is going on?’

Seeing my confused blank looking face, concern made to Tifa’s face, “[Name], what’s wrong?” She asked.

So, I did the most logical action I could at the moment, I pinch my left hand, “Ow…” ‘It hurt.’ I rubbed my reddening left hand.

“[Name], are you really alright?” Tifa asked again. “Don’t worry Tifa, I bet she just woke up.” Yuffie grinned.

‘It’s not a dream....? t-they are really alive...?’ I am still confused, I am still not sure if I am having a realistic dream or this is the reality. But if so, what about yesterday and the day before yesterday and the days before today? Was that reality a dream? And this is the real reality? My mind is in jumbled mess, but I am happy. My wish has come true, my wish for the Final Fantasy characters are real people and as a bonus I have befriend with them. There’s no more I could ask for.

I feel someone shakes me. “Huh?” I snapped back to the reality.

“Maybe we should get her to infirmary.” Tifa said.

“Whooa. [Name], you really sick?” Yuffie was shocked by the news.

“Let’s go.” Cloud said as he prepared to drag me.

“W-wait! I’m fine, I just dozing because I just woke up.” I said putting a sheepish grin.

“See, she’s just woke up.” Yuffie grinned again, but I can see she was relieved as well.

‘Well, I did wish something interesting like this happen. Well, dream or not let’s enjoyed it to the last.’ I smiled at my thought as we walked to the class.

Upon entering class, I no longer panic on what I saw. There are some FF characters here and there, but I spot no Noctis, ‘Well, I’ll be lying if I am not disappointed.’ I sigh softly. ‘Well, nothing goes smooth now.’

Then I heard giggles and squeals. ‘Don’t tell me this is a famous scene from shoujo manga. The moment when male lead and his group enter the classroom. If so, then… Those girls will be the mortal enemies of the female lead. After the plot milked her usefulness, she and her sidekicks will fall into ruin.’ I blinked as I looked at those girls. ‘What a shame. They look nice enough though. But, I wonder who they’re fangirling about.’ I follow the crowd’s eyes, then the door opened revealing ‘Emergency! Mayday! Mayday! All staffs please evacuate! The ship will sink soon!Eh? EEEEEEHHHHH???!!! What is happening?! Why is he here?! No... I mean… I am happy that he is here. But he being here is a problem itself to me, in many ways.’ The one who opened the door is no other than Noctis.

I stiffen when he walks to me. “Good morning.” He muttered as he walked past me to his seat which is behind me.

“Mo-morning…?” And the problem is I was suttering when I replied, ‘Now I’ve done it…. he officially think I am one of his fangirls.’ I sighed earning a few snickers from Tifa and Yuffie which I give them an odd look.

“Morning, Hime-chi.” Prompto greeted.

I am not sure who is Hime-chi is. But seeing no one responds to him, it must be me, right? “Morning…?” I greeted back hesitantly.

During the duration of the lesson, I can’t concentrate at all. Part of it is because Noctis is sitting behind me. The other part is I am frantically thinking what should I do, what is my relationship with him and the other characters. Just because some of them are my friends, that doesn’t mean all of the characters must be my friends. And I have to be careful how to act around them, so they didn’t notice my awkwardness.

The bell rings signaling lunch break. Finally, me and the group which included almost all of the alvalanche members plus some other go to school cafeteria. Minus Cid and Barret cause they’re too old to go to school anyway which I found out later the two of them are school staffs. Barret as P.E teacher and Cid as engineer. And of course, let’s not forget Zack and Aerith. We go to cafeteria to eat lunch, while the others eat and talking each other, I am thinking about a lot of thing and that mysterious golden watch.

“[Name].” A voice snapped me out of my own world and I found all of them were staring at me.

“Huh?” I blinked owlishly.

“Are you okay?” Aerith asked worriedly.

“Did they bully you?” Prompto frowned.

“Eh? Bully? Who?” I tilted my head not understanding who were they talking about. ‘…For the first time in my life I was bullied…’

“WHAT!? Those girls are bullying my little sister?! How dare they!” Zack raged.

“W-Wait a minute. I am fine. No one is bullying me.” I said quickly calming them down.

“I heard something about bullying [Name]. Who is daring enough to do that?” Another new voice chimed in.

“Ah.” I blinked at the newcomers, twins exactly.

“Stella, Luna. Where were you guys?” Yuffie asked.

“Sorry, the teacher needed us just now.” Stella apologized.

“So, I heard someone is bullying [Name]? Which idiot?” Luna smiled scarily.

“No one was bullying me.” I shook my head quickly. ‘Scary…. Does Lunafreya is this kind of character?’ I sweatdropped.

“If we are talking about bullying, then I am sure it’s no other than her and her little group.” Tifa rolled her eyes.

‘I wonder who and why would people bully me? I don’t think I’ve ever made someone mad enough to be bullied by them.’ I scanned the cafeteria and spot a group of girls glaring at me, ‘Ah. So, they are the bully group.’ Then a mop of blond caught my attention, I narrow my eyes to get better sight, ‘…Who is she? I have never meet her before, but strangely her name popped out in my mind. Tachibana Kirika-san, Noct’s fangirl…. Ah, no wonder.’ I looked at her object of affection.

“Ignore them” Noct said.

“Umm...okay.” I answered.

After that staring contest, all is well. No war break between us. The last bell finally rings, signaling the end of school. And so, as per usual ritual, apparently we always go home together. “See you tomorrow.” I waved to them when I arrived at my house.

“See you.” They waved back. I open the door only to find it is hollow of life. I found a note one dinner table ‘Business trip one week, there’s a leftover for dinner. We’ll get your cousin to stay at the house tomorrow.’ I sighed. It’s still the same,’Oh well, I’m used to it.... wonder who is my cousin. This is the first time I heard about having a cousin staying over.’

Tired and still in term of accepting what has happened today. I am feeling really sleepy, but I didn’t dare to sleep. What if this is just a dream and I’ll wake up in the same position on my desk, as selfish as it may sound I still don’t want this to end yet. So many thoughts race in my head, absetmindedly I take out the golden watch and finally fallen asleep holding that.

I wake up with a start and glancing at my room, then realize something, FF charas. ‘Is it a dream?’ I sighed and I felt something in my hand. The golden watch, it’s still here. That means ‘It’s not a dream.’ I grinned widely, they are real. Thus, I quickly begin my routine of the day.

Arriving to the class, I greet them. Them as in the group. “Morning.” I greeted.

“Morning.” They replied. I sit at my seat and put my bag on drawer, but then a sharp pain creeps through my hand, instictively I take out my hand and trail of blood is dripping from my hand. My eyes flicker at the sound of giggles, there Tachibana Karin stand proudly at what she have done, she even raises her chin up to which I reply with raised eyebrow.

‘Truly, this is the first time I am being bullied for real.’

Seeing my bloodied right hand and still bleeding. Cloud quickly take my hand and examines it. “You okay?” He asked.

“As okay as someone will be with bleeding hand.” I remarked. Zack is definitely pissed off by the look of his face and stalks toward them.

“Why you little-“

“Zack. There’s no need to get angry.” I called to him.

Ignoring my call, he still stalks toward them, that is until Vincent holds him, “Ignore them. We should take her to infirmary.” He said.

“No no no. we can’t let this kind of things go.” Stella stepped in.

“Indeed. We’ll need to teach her a lesson.” Luna easily agreed with the older twin.

“Stella, Luna. Not you two too.” I sweatdropped.

“Let’s just take [Name] to infirmary first.” Tifa said. With that, the group accompanies me to the infirmary.

“The cut isn’t deep, it will heal in few days.” Nurse Quistis said after she finished bandaging me.

“Thank you.” I thanked her.

“It’s my job, now off you go to class.” She ushered.

“Yes ma’am.” I give her mock salute as I get out of the room.

Entering the class, I was bombarded with questions. Quistis kicked all of the out for being so noisy and too much. “I am fine.” I said for the umpteenth time.

Then Tachibana-san comes to me and asks with her sickly sweet voice, “How was your hand? Is it hurt?”

“Well, why don’t we try it to your hand. And then you’ll know whether it’s hurt or not.” I smiled eraning a few snickers from my friends as they heard my reply.

Tachibana-san’s face is red with anger and opens her mouth to say something. But then, the door opened revealing Noctis and Prompto. she quickly puts her sweet façade again to which I know that isn’t fooling anyone with decent IQ. “Good morning.” She greeted him which was ignored and laughter rose from our throats.

“If you didn’t do something like bullying his friends, you might have a chance.” I told her.

“You!” She gritted her teeth.

‘Aaah… She really didn’t get it.’ I sighed mentally. “Good morning you two. How unusuall for you to almost late.” I greeted.

“Good morning, Hime-chi. You see, we are almost late because we met an old woman on the street. She… Hime-chi, what happened to your hand?” Prompto frowned when he saw bandage on my left hand.

“Your hand...”

“Oh, this..” I said as I lift my hand. “Apparently, someone with a bad hobby finds it interesting to get me scream in pain. Unfortunately, they didn’t get what they want.” I smiled. Noct opens his mouth to ask something when the bell rang, signalling the start of class. All of us goes back to our seat. Well, in my case after recieving a hateful glare from Tachibana-san.

‘More importantly I wonder… Why is she targeting me? I mean, Noct’s female friends are not only I. There are Luna and Stella too…. Does she know I like him…? Well, I do like him as character in games before. And meeting him right now does make my feeling stronger… but, I am not sure if I like him as man… Besides…’ A certain scene from the game flashes in my mind. It’s overlapping in a scene I’ve seen here. ‘I am such a fool… obviously they are together…’ A bitter smile graces my lips.

The lessons went well, save for the ocasion hateful glare... okay scratch that, hateful glare all along. Lucnh break bell rings..... “Okay class, that’s all for today... oh and there is winter ball on the 28th December. All of you MUST come, it’ll be the last event for you. Class dissmissed.” Then the teacher goes out of classroom.

I groan inwardly, ‘Great… a ballroom.’ Note the sacarsm. The students scatters, chatting about the ball, while the group (girls only) advance to me.

“Soooo.....” Yuffie begins the conversation. “Who is going to be your date?” she asked excitedly.

“I don’t want to go.” I groaned again.

“You shouldn’t idle too long [Name], he will be snatched away.” Aerith said gigglig slightly.

“He? Who?” I titled my head. ‘Do I like someone?’

“Of course it’s him.” Yuffie answered.

“Tsk tsk tsk. As if [Name] will like another boy except from him.” Stella raised her brow.

“That dense man is too dense.” Luna giggled.

“Who is he exactly?” I frowned. But to them, my expression right now is quite funny because they are giggling.

“Don’t play dumb [Name]. all of us already know who is he. He is the one who gifted you the golden watch on your birthday.” Tifa said.

 ‘So, that was a gift from someone. And that someone is my crush so to speak…’ I blinked. ‘Who is…’ Suddenly the answer appeared itself in my mind.

*Poof* my face explodes to a blush. ‘It’s him. That man who is a trouble to me just by being here.’ I covered my face looking away from the evil grins on their faces.

“That time he was so shy. It’s funny, right?” Yuffie exclaimed.

“Hey, you guys.” I was saved by Reno. “Who are going to be you girls’ date?” He asked excitedly.

“Not again…” I groaned. “Reno, you don’t have any delicacy at all.” I whined.

“What happened to her?” Reno blinked.

“Just girl trouble.” Stella giggled followed by the rest of the girl.

“I mean you guys have fixed date already. Is there any point to ask?” I pouted. “I’m sure Tifa is going with Cloud, Aerith and Zack, Yuffie with Vincent. Stella is with Prompto and Luna will be going with No-.” I said.

“My date is a secret.” Luna cut my sentence.

“Secret?” I blinked.

“Yep. You’ll know when the time comes.” She smiled mysteriously.

“So, what about you [Name]? Wanna be my date?” He winked.

I snort, “No, thank you.” I flat out rejected him. “If I go with you. Your group of angry girlfriends will be waiting for me. Nuh-uh. I still want to be perfectly healthy, thank you.” All of them excluding Reno who is now sulking are laughing at his misfortune. “I am probably going alone. There’s no rule I can’t go alone.” I smiled. “…What’s wrong?” I blinked when I found them stared at me oddly.

“[Name]… You are quite dense…” Tifa sweatdropped.

“Huh?” I titled my head.

“[Name] you know, you are quite popular. If you say you are searching for a date. Everyone will probably line up.” Aerith giggled.

“…You are teasing me, aren’t you? I have a plain face you know. The one that is neither pretty, beautiful or cute. Besides, if I mean if I am quite popular, how come no one talk to me or better yet flirt to me?” I put an unamused face.

‘That’s because a certain someone made sure no one will not talk to you more than necessary. How can they have a gut to flirt with you with him hanging around you like a guard dog.’ All of them sweatdropped.

“Enough about me. What about the prince?” I turned my question to the prince that walked past me back to his seat.

“About what?” He sat back down.

“The winter ball. Who are you escorting?” I asked.

He snorts. “I don’t want to go.” He said.

“Me too. But we are forced to go.” I chuckled.

“I am waiting for someone.” He answered shortly. His answer makes the boys laugh. I raise my eyebrow at their odd reaction.

“You should hurry and ask her out, or else she’ll out of your reach.” Zack chuckled.

“Yep. After all the effort you put into.” Cloud nodded.

Zack’s word make my chest stings a bit. ‘What is this feeling?’ I blink the I shake my head to ignore it and chat with the rest of them.

Zack’s word is still ringing in my head. I am indeed curious as who is he going to ask, but I am more curious about the feeling in my heart just now. ’They are just characters from game, right? So, why did I have this feeling? Besides, I am sure he is going to ask Luna. No need to think that hard. They obviously are going to reveal it at the winter ball.’ I finally asleep while thinking about this.

Again, I wake up from my peaceful slumber before the alarm rings. I rub my eyes to get rid the alimighty power of sleepiness. The calendar on my wall made me realize this is Saturday. ‘Oh, it’s finally this day.’

As usual, I did my everyday routine, and then off to school. My peaceful day was once again ruined by Tachibana-san and the rabid fangirls follower.

“You! You dare to embarass me the other day, in front of my Noctis no less.” She screehed.

“My...Noctis...? Wow, I am not sure how to reply to that statement... Besides, weren’t you the one asked me about my hand, I just answered that it would be better for you to experience it first hand.” I answered effortlessly.

“You bitch!” She swung her hand to slap me. I am ready to dodge and prepare some wise words. But, her hand was caught midair by a more masculine hand.

I turn my head to get a better look of my savior. ‘Squall.’ I blinked at the unexpected character. ‘Rinoa shouldn’t be too far from Squall.’ I giggled inwardly at my own thought.

“You better stop this or you’ll get more than just slapping.” He growled. Tachibana-san turns pale. She and her follower quickly retreat back.

Then suddenly a girl pops out from his side. “Are you okay, [Name]?” Said girl is no other than Rinoa. ‘As I thought, Rinoa is not far.’ I chuckled at my own thought.

“I am fine.” I answered. “But, why are you two here?” I asked, I am not surprised with the characters popping out as my friends anymore. Last time, I found out Ignis is our Chemistry teacher and Gladioulus as our school security guard.

“Listen well! this isn’t over! I’ll make your life a living hell!” Tachibana-san sreeched which we of course ignored. The she stomps out here with her rabid fangirls follower.

“Just like always, you are a trouble magnet.” Squall Leonhart, which like to be called Leon sighed.

“You haven’t answered my question... Squeon.” I added my personal nickname just to annoy him.

“Your parents were worried, so they asked me to take care of you.” He said ignoring my nickname.

“I am fine, Squeon.” I said again.

Squall snorts, he lifts my bandaged hand, “And you said this was okay.”

“[Name], you are injured. What happened?” Worrywart Rinoa asked.

“I am okay. It’s just a small wound, Quistis said it will heal in 2 or 3 days.” I said calming Rinoa down.

Then, we heard some footsteps running toward us. The group are rushing to us. “Squall! Rinoa!” They exclaimed happily when they saw them.

“It’s Leon.” He grunted.

“Nooo, it’s Squeon.” I laughed. Squall only glares at me using his infamous glare.

“Long time no see.” Rinoa smiled.

“[Name], are you alright? I heard from some people Tachibana was bullying you, what did she do to you?” The now panicking Tifa asked.

“I am okay. she was just going to slap me, but Squeon stopped her.” I answered.

“WHAT?! She was going to slap you?! That damn bitch! How dare she!” Zack cursed.

“Calm down. I am not strupid just standing there waiting her slaps me.” I snorted. ‘Besides, which idiot will stand still when they are going to be hit.’

“By the way, if Squall and Rinoa are here. Does that mean they are going to be your care taker again?” Cloud asked.

“Yes, they are.” I said grinning.

“Oooooh, it’s rare that we can gather here together. So, how about we go to Chocobo Land  tomorrow?” Yuffie exclaimed excitedly.

“Chocobo Land.... Well, it’s been a while, the last time we go together was on [Name]’s birthday.” Aerith said. With that said, all of us decide to go to Chocobo Land tomorrow. Unbeknwon to me, I am playing right to their trap.~”~

“Eeeeehhhh~ Why can’t you go with us?” I asked, dismayed at the fact we couldn’t spend time together.

“Rinoa isn’t feeling well.” Was Squall short answer.

But I can’t shake the feeling that something is off. “She was fine yesterday.” I mumbled.

“Yesterday and today are different.” But all I did was stare, stare and stare. He sighs, “Just go already, you don’t want to be late, right?” He ushered me to go.

“Yes~” I sulked.

Arriving at the Chocobo Land. Only Noctis is at the rendezvous point. “Hey, Noct, where is the others?” I asked.

“They still haven’t arrived.” He answered.

‘Weird. They are usually on time. Maybe Yuffie will be a little late.’ I blinked at the unusual happening. And suddenly our phones ring at the same time signalling there are messages in our group chat.

Tifa

“Sorry, my parents are out of town suddenly. Need to housesit.”

Yuffie

Some brats in neighborhood are hunting my treasure. Need to safeguard it.

Zack

Am grounded. T.T

Luna

“Sis and I have trouble escaping from arranged marriage.

Stella

“Have fun. We will arrive there late.”

Aerith

“The shop is crowded. I can’t go out yet.”

Squall

“Rinoa is sick. Need to take care of her.”

Rinoa

Sorry guys.

Cloud

“Fixing my bike.”

Vincent

“…Sleepy…”

Prompto

“Helping acquaintance in photoshoot.”

‘What kind of hellish timing is this?’ I sweatdropped. ‘…No matter how I think, they are definitely setting us up.’ I sighed softly.

The two of us look at each other and sigh. “We were set up.” He said. “So, what should we do? Should we go home?” He asked again.

“Hmmm… We’re already here anyway. So, let’s just play. Just the two of us.” I grinned. A small smile is tugging on his lip hearing my sentece. But, unbeknown to us, we were followed by eight enthusiastic stalkers plus two reluctant stalkers and cameras.

Everywhere and anywhere as far as I can see, all I can see is Chocobo. The excitement is building up. “Chocobo♪~ Chocobo♪~.” I hummed out with sparkling eyes.

“Your love for Chocobo is something else.” Noct sweatdropped.

“What can I say, I just love Chocobo.” I giggled. “Then, our first ride will be that.” I pointed to the Chocobo Jet that was quite far from our meeting point.

“Figures you will ride that first.” Noctis chuckled.

“Let’s go!” I giggled excitedly. ‘Just for today. Let me spend a quality time with him. Yes…Just for today.’ The Chocobo Jet is really exciting. “I want to ride it again.” I said enthusiastically.

“Let’s ride the other attraction first. We’ll ride the roller coaster again later.” He sighed helplessly.

“It’s a promise, okay. I won’t go home if I don’t get to ride it again.” I stuck my pinky to him.

“Yes, yes. It’s a promise.” He hooked his pinky to mine. And then seamlessly warps his hand around mine and tugs me along.

I blink at the action. ‘Alert, alert. The parameter is rising.’ A slight blush adorns my cheeks. I quickly put a hand on my cheek to cool it down.

“What’s wrong?” He asked when he saw my weird action.

“Nothing!” I squeaked in high pitched voice.

He blinks, “You are so weird.” He laughed.

“I don’t want to hear that from you.” I stuck my togue out to him.

The next ride is Chocobo Cup. “Spin faster!” I laughed cheerily as I spun the cup faster.

“You’ll get dizzy later.” Noct smiled.

‘Hm…?’ from the corner of my eyes, I think I caught a glimpse of a familiar chocobo head. ‘Was I mistaken?’

“What’s wrong?” Ncoct asked when he realized I stopped spinning.

“Ah, nothing, I thought I saw Cloud.” I shook my head. “It must be my imagination. I mean this is Chocobo Land.” I laughed. All of the visitors are wearing Chocobo headband which we get as a free gift in the entrance.

“What do you want to do next?” He asked.

“Hm…Oh!” My eyes are drawn to the shooting range not far from us. More accurately, drawn to the prizes in that shooting range. “That! Let’s compete!” I turned to Noctis.

“Yes?”

“Let’s see who will get the grand prize first!” I exclaimed.

“Yo, ojou-chan, an-chan. The point for the grand prize is 150. The rule is easy. Your gun has 3 bullets. Knock down the plate with the point written on it. collect 150 points and you have the grand prize. Easy, right?” Baku explained.

“Yep!” I nodded.

“One game is 150 gil.” He smiled.

“Give us two guns.” Noct said as he handed him the money.

“Haiyo!” Baku handed us the bullet.

“The game is on!” I grinned.

~One Round Later~

“Not fair….” I sulked. In the end, Noctis wins with overwhelming victory. I don’t understand how he managed to get 200 points, while I couldn’t even get the 10 points plate down.

“Bwahahahaha! Ojou-chan, you are the best! Your skill is one in one hundred!” Baku laughed merrily.

“Sh-shut up!” I cried out.

“An-chan, your skill is amazing. Usually, the guests will spend more than 3 games to get a hang of this game.” He smirked.

“This is just a fluke. My friend happens to be good at this kind of game. I was only following his advice.” Noct answered.

“Heh. I want to meet this friend of yours.” Baku smirked.

“Next time, I guess.” Noct shrugged his shoulder.

“Bahahaha! I can’t wait!” Baku laughed harder.

While those two are chatting. I am already at my own land of misery. “I am sorry Chocobo. I can’t get you. I am sorry I am such a failure.” I murmured.

“So, what happen to Ojou-chan?” Baku sweatdropped.

“She just happened to love Chocobo a bit too much. Too much that I am jealous.”

“Bwahahaha! You win the game, but lost the war. I really pity you, An-chan” Baku patted his shoulders.

“Haahh…” He sighed. “[Name]. Here, this is yours.” Something is shoved to my face. It’s the grand prize of the shooting range, Golden Chocobo.

“For me?” I blinked.

“Of course.” He rolled his eyes. “If I don’t give it to you. You’ll keep staring at me as if you are having a grudge on me.” He smirked.

“I-I will not.” I flushed.

“Ojou-chan!” Baku called.

“Yes?”

“Here. A consolation prize.” Baku gave me two droppy chocobo hat. “Thanks to Ojou-chan, I have a great laugh today.” Baku grinned.

“Thank you!” I quickly put it on my head, while keeping the headband I got on my small backpack I brought. “Noct, you wear one too.” I gave the hat to him. The said man obediently bends down his body so I can put it on him. “We match!” I laughed happily, completely missing his softened look to me.

“Bahahaha! I pray for your success, an-chan.” Baku laughed.

“Thanks.” Noct replied. While I completely don’t understand what they were talking about. “Let’s go. We still have many attractions to ride.” He tugged my hand along.

“Yes!” ‘I think whether this is a dream or reality, this will be the happiest day of my live.’

Our next destination is, “Chocobo House!!!” I shrieked at the sight. I rush to the house, wanting to see it up close and personal.

“Hey! Don’t run!” I heard Noct’s warning.

“Don’t worry! I am not a child. I won’t fall down. Hurry up! Hurry up!” I urged him.

“We need to buy tickets first.” He sighed.

“Ah.” I blinked, completely forgotten that. Noct rolls his eyes as he pays for the tickets.

“Thank you for the purchase. Please enjoy the house.” The staff smiled.

Chocobo House, truly befitting the name. The house is basically Chocobo den. Look right, there will be a lot of Chocobo. Look left, there will be a lot of Chocobo. Look up, there will be a lot of Chocobo lantern. Look down, the tile is Chocobo pattern. And in the center if the house, there is the fat Chocobo.

“….Can I take that home?” I muttered out loud.

“Will it fit in your room?” Noct sweatdropped.

“I have an unused room. It will fit there. I can just move my Chocobo shrine there.” My eyes sparkled.

“Oi oi oi. Will they even let you buy it. Rather, even if they are willing to sell. Does your pocket money enough?” Noct sighed.

“Hmmm…. I should really get a part time job.” I muttered as I trying to calculate how much the Fat Chocobo will cost.

“Wait! Wait! They are selling the miniature version of Fat Chocobo. Let’s take a look.” Noct dragged me to the merchandise counter. In the end, I buy the Fat Chocobo plushie. More precisely, it was bought for me.

“I could buy it myself. You’ve paid for the rides and tickets. I can at least buy the merchandise myself.” I pouted and frowned as I hugged the plushie.

“It’s fine. I just want to. My father told me I need to spoil you to win your heart. He even willingly and happily to let me spend money to make you his daughter in law.” He muttered.

“Hm? What did you say?” I couldn’t hear the second part of his sentences.

“Nothing. Let’s ride that next.” He pointed to the Chocobo-go-round.

“Okay!” ~”~

“I am hungry~” I whined as I sat on the park bench.

“It’s already 1.00 p.m.” Noctis said as he looked at his watch. “The food court is over there.” Noctis said.

“Yosh! After lunch, we are going to continue.” I beamed, while my companion just shook his head at my antics. “Hey, don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it. Because we know it’s a lie.” I pointed my finger to him.

“I never said I didn’t.” He chuckled.

“Then all is well.” I grinned.

We are sitting in the food court, waiting for our order. The topic of our conversation is the hellish timing our friends have. “They are definitely…” I trailed off.

“…Doing this in purpose…” He finished.

“There’s no way they have this kind of convenient timing of not going. Well, in Zack’s case… he might be really grounded.” I giggled as we glanced secretly to the seats behind us.

“He-hey! Don’t be too noisy, they’ll find out.” A familiar voice of Tifa was heard.

“But, I can’t hear what are they talking about.” Yuffie whined.

“What a sloppy tailing.” I sniggered.

“They really… have too much free time.” Noct sighed.

“They seem don’t know that we’ve know they tailed us from the start.” I laughed merrily, really enjoying this charade. From the corner of my eyes, I can see now they are fighting for food, Zack and Cloud plus Yuffie. “Let’s caught them red handed later.” I laughed.

“Here are your orders.” A kind waitress set down our food.

“Thank you.” We thanked her.

“Please enjoy!” She smiled cheerily.

“Thanks for the food.” ~”~

“Noct. Let’s go over there.” I pointed to an ice-cream stall.

“Didn’t you just eat lunch?” He blinked.

“If it’s for ice cream, I am sure my stomach will make more room.” I answered.

“….What flavor?” He could only helplessly ask.

“Sea-salt ice cream!” I said excitedly.

“Wait here.” He told me and he is off to the stall.

“Ah, I want ice cream too.” I heard Yuffie whined.

“If we go now. We’ll be caught.” Stella reminded.

“But… ice cream…” I could already imagine her face looked like a kicked puppy.

“We need to endure.” Luna said sternly.

“Here.” Noct came back with an ice cream.

“Where is yours?” I blinked as I took the ice cream.

“I am good.” He said.

“Is that so?” I licked the ice. “Mmmnn… It’s delicious.” My eyes sparkled. “Here. Have a taste. It’s delicious. Delicious food should be shared to double the deliciousness.” I grinned.

“…Then, I’ll be happy to oblige.” He smiled softly as eat the ice from my hand.

“How is it? Isn’t it delicious?” I asked animatedly.

“Yeah. It’s delicious.” A ghost smile on his lips.

“See! I told you, you should buy one for yourself.” I said smugly. I quickly devour the ice cream until I realize what have I done. *Poof* ‘He ate mine…. Indirect kiss… No no no, let’s not think about it.… Okay, breathe in… breathe out… It’s okay. It’s just indirect kiss. No biggie….NO! it’s not okay for my heart! Does he even realized what he has done! I know I was the one offered it to him, but…’

“Why is your face red? Is it heatstroke?” He frowned.

“No! I am fine! Completely fine. It’s only a little bit too hot! It’s not a heatstroke!” The completely flustered me squeaked out. “Let’s go there!” I randomly pointed a ride and hurried there, missing the knowing smirk on his face.

The clock has shown 5.30 p.m. the only remaining ride is, “Hey, Noct. Let’s ride Chocobo Wheel.” I dragged him to the line. The said man allows me to drag him, he’s suprisingly obidient.

The Ferris Wheel stops when we are at the top. “When are we going to catch them red handed?” He smirked.

“You’ll see.” I grinned mischievously. “As expected from the highest point. I can see all of them park from here. It’s beautiful.” I was awed by the breathtaking view.

“Indeed…” What I didn’t know is, he wasn’t talking about the view.

The ride has ended. We are back on the land. “Ah! I have to call Squeon, first. I am worried about Rinoa.” I said out loud, letting our stalkers hear. “If he has something he needs, I can swing to the nearest drug store.” I fished out my phone from my bag. Can practically hear the nervous choked sounds from our stalkers. I push the speed dial button number 1. A familiar ringtone rings. My smile widens when I heard that.

“Hello!” I waved to them. We catch our stalkers red handed. “I thought you all have some kind of troubles.” I raised my brow.

“Ahahahha… We were just...uh…worried about you two. Yes, we were worried.” Zack laughed nervously, which then elbowed by Aerith for stuttering.

“So, did you guys get nice pictures? Because I am expecting it.” I snickered.

“I thought you were grounded, Zack.” Noct smirked.

“Hey, everyone! The photos are done. What are- “Yuffie stopped in mid sentence when she saw us. “Ahahahaha. Hello, [Name].” Yuffie greeted me.

“Geh! Noct!” Prompto gasped.

“Yuffie~, Prompto ~ What about those pictures in your hands?” I asked with a smile etched on my face.

“O-oh, th-this is..” She trailed off, senaking a glance on me, I still waiting her answer with a smile. “Eheheheh.... Okay, I give up. Here, all yours.” She gave us the photos they took. To put it simply, those are our candid photos. There are also the others but mostly about me and Noctis.

“Awww, this one is soo cute.” Tifa cooed. The pictures she chooses is the one when Noct was eating my ice cream. The angle is good. It’s just quite embarrassing.

“Heheh. Mine is this.” Luna chose the time when I put Chocobo hat on Noct.

“Oh. I like this one.” Stella picked our competition in shooting range.

“This one is good.” Aerith liked the one where I hug the huge Fat Chocobo in Chocobo House.

“Oookay. Let’s save this for later. For the last ride, we’ll go on Chocobo Jet. I will not allow any objection.” I exclaimed happily. For the last ride. We are fortunate the ride is enough for all of us.

“It was fun! It’s been a while I play this much.” I stretched.

“We should come here together again.” Rinoa smiled.

“Agreed! But no more stalking.” I laughed.

Time sure flies fast. It’s already one week before Christmas, we the girls are shopping for Christmas gift. ‘Sooo, what should I buy? Let’s just buy what they can use everyday.’ The other girls already busy choosing their own gifts. I am just strolling in the accesorries shop. After all of us finished, we head back to home. ~”~

It’s finally Christmas. The girls agreed to gather at Tifa’s house and give a make-over to each other, while I opted to not involved which is not an option. I am also dragged in to the whole fiasco. Exactly 7 p.m. We heard the knock, signaling the boy group has come.

“Merry Christmas.” Zack said excitedly.

“Merry Christmas.” We greeted. After we greeted each other, the party starts. I give them their respective gifts. Earrings for Tifa, bracelet for Yuffie, a necklace for Stella and Luna, a phone case for Vincent, a dress for Aerith, a google for Cloud, another dress for Rinoa and a for Zack, my self proclaimed brother, I gave him a pair of shoes. For my dearest cousin, it’s a leather jacket.

I am now down to the last person, but the said person isn’t in the room. The gift is still clutched in my hand. I see Tifa tilts her head to the yard, I nod and flash a grateful smile.

I found him gazing stars. “Not going to enter?” I asked.

Noctis glances at me and then back to the stars. “Too noisy.” Was his short answer. I laugh lightly at his short, but clear answer.

There is a comfortable silence between us, until I remember the reason I searched him. “Here.” I gave him the small blue box.

“For me?” I nodded at his question. Then he also pulls out something small from his pocket and gives it to me. I look at the gift curiously. I try to guess what’s in this little black box. Seeing the blatant curiosity on my face, Noctis chuckles. “Open it.” He said. With that said, I open the box excitedly. There, in the black box there is a ring necklace. My name is carved on the ring. My eyes widened and let out a small laugh. Noctis only stares at me with raised eyebrow.

“Open my gift.” I said still laughing. With a strange look he opens the box. His eyes also widen, there in the blue box I gave him, there’s also a same ring necklace. the only difference is the carved names. Then a small laugh also escapes from his lips.

“Will you allow me to escort you in the winter ball?” He asked.

This question caught me off guard. I never thought he will ask me let alone think about it. I look left, right and then behind me to see if someone is there. “…Are you practicing so you can ask Luna?” I blinked.

“Why are you bringing up Luna?” He frowned.

“Eh? Why? Because isn’t that so?” I was taken back.

“It’s not.” He sighed exasperated.

“Then… If you are fine with me. I’ll be happy to take on your offer.” I smiled. ~”~

The day before the ball. The girls agree to meet up again in Tifa’s house right after school. They are going to match the dress they’ve bought with their accessories. “Hm? [Name], where’s your dress?” Luna asked.

“Ah, I don’t have one I was sure I am going alone, so I didn’t buy dress. I am going to wear school uniform. The rule didn’t specifically say the dress code is an evening dress.” I smiled sheepishly.

“School…” (Stella)

“Uni…” (Aerith)

“…form” (Tifa)

“You said?!” (Luna)

“Huh? Isn’t Noctis escorting you?” Yuffie blinked.

“He did two days ago. It’s just, I don’t have time to pick up dress. So, I am going to wear school uniform.” I nodded.

“Change of plan.” Stella said seriously.

“Yes. We have a change of plan.” Luna agreed.

“Huh?” I blinked.

“We are going to shop for your dress right now.” Aerith smiled.

“Eh? Right now. We don’t have that much time…anymore.” I finished timidly, seeing their scary smiles.

“Sorry [Name}. Even I can’t help you.” Yuffie said. ~”~

At last, the most dreaded day that I wish never come is finally here. 28th December, that means the winter ball. ‘Why it has to be a ballroom, can we just change to more casual party?’ I groaned.

“[Name], you shouldn’t put that kind of face. You are the prince’s date, are you not?” Zack teased.

“The said prince has the same opinion as me.” I said unamused. The girls and the boys wear a matching color, including Noct and I. Apparently, Luna called Noct and asked, no demanded him to wear a cobalt blue suit, so he can match with my dress.

The hall is decorated just like a real ballroom. There are also snacks and drinks there. Once we enter the hall, Reno instantly flies to the other side of the hall sweet talking to a group of girls. The others asked their dates to dance with them. Being a gentleman he is, our favourite prince also asks me to dance. “I can’t dance.” I smiled wryly.

“Don’t worry. Just follow my lead. Waltz is an easy dance.” He said taking my hand. We dance peacefully until someone with the name of Tachibana Kirika ruins it.

“Noctis dear~” She called with such coquettish voice that it actually made me had a goosebumps. “I am sure I can be a better partner than this plain looking girl.” Tachibana-san winked at him.

“Sorry if I am plain looking. At least, you should learn how to wear a proper make up. The color doesn’t suit you.” I rolled my eyes.

“No, thank you.” He refused politely.

But that sets Tachibana-san in rage. “Exactly what did you see in this girl?” She screeched and pointed her finger to me. “I am prettier and a ton of guys asked me to be their date.” She yelled.

Noctis narrows his eyes. “Then, you can have them to accompany you. Listen, I am tired of your antics. Don’t you dare badmouth her! The next time you do so, I won’t forgive you!” Noctis snapped. Then, Noct storms out from the hall, leaving the said girl there standing dumbfounded and biting her fingernail.

‘Wow, this is the first time I see him angry.’ I too, quietly leaving the hall searching for my partner.

“So, you are here.” I said after I found him on the rooftop. He only stands there unmoving. “Still angry?” I asked.

“Not anymore.” He answered.

“I doubt she will stalk you after your outburst just now.” I laughed.

“She better be.” He let out a snort.

“Hey, Noct.”

“Hm?”

“What was the meaning of the word carved in the golden watch?” I asked as I took out the watch from my dress’ small pocket.

“Are you curious about that?” He asked.

“Very.” Was my answer.

“That is-” He walked closer to me without breaking the eye contact. He stands right in front of me, making me wait with bated breath. He bends down so his mouth right beside my ear, and whispers softly. “Eternal bond.” After saying that, he stood straight. A small smile on his lip, satisfied with my now blushing face.

“You-! Can just say it normally.” I glared at him. The futile glare only makes him smiles. He pulls me toward him. “Wha-” I blinked rapidly as he pressed his lips to mine.

‘Unable to process. [Name].exe crashed.’

I suddenly wake up from my nap and look at my surrounding. I am in my room, the same room before all of that happen, my workbook is still on my desk untouched. “I see, that was a dream after all.” I said disappointed. I blush again remembering the last part of the dream. “What an outrageous dream I had.” I sweatdropped. I put my finger on my lips as if I can still feel the warmth.

“[Name], you idiot. That was just a dream.” I scolded myself. “Rather than thinking about it, I should take a bath.” I mumbled walking to the bathroom. Unbeknown to me there are a ring necklace with my name and a golden watch with its lid opened on my desk.

“Our bond is eternal”