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nanaooyoo · 8 months ago

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cravity ot9 scenario

request for: @nctloverkpop. I switched up the themeing a bit but we came to an agreement about cravity scenarios wherein the boys help you get through a tough time. I had a lot of fun writing these and hope you and any one who sees this likes it and maybe feels comforted by it (sorry it took so long). Anyways enjoy ✨

warnings/headsup: discussions of mental health • no specific disorders named • depression • anxiety • woobin’s includes a very bloody lip • mentions of food • arguable depictions of self harm • hurt/comfort • 1.2k words average • 10.6k words total • gender neutral reader • angst if you squint • fluff • lightly proofread

couple scenarios: members x reader pt.I/I

❥Serim

Serim sat at the edge of the bed. He watched as you paced back and forth across the multicolored rug you had picked out just a few weeks ago. You shook out your wrists and loosened your fingers as Serim slowly raised and lowered his arms trying his best to redirect your breathing.

“In… and out… in… and out…” he tried his best to demonstrate and jog your memory on the techniques people had previously taught you. Today it was just taking a particularly long while.

“What’s the point! It’s not working!” You whined, continuing to pace the floor.

“It’ll work eventually, you just have to be patient.” Serim said.

“I don’t want eventually, I want now!” You mumbled to yourself, now stomping your feet on the carpet. “This sucks!” You moaned collapsing to the floor and rapidly chewing at your nails.

“It may suck but it’s totally normal.” Serim said “things are really hard on you right now, it makes sense to feel freaked out.”

You groaned and clawed at your hair. Serim’s ability to remain calm in almost any situation where you felt like you were losing your goddamn mind was somehow both comforting and infuriating. “Oh. My. God.” You muttered angrily under your breath. You could feel the tension in your bones. It travelled through you and settled amidst each of your joints making you feel like a poorly made and fractured wooden doll. You felt internally rusted like the bumper on an old car. “You’re driving me insane.” You whispered under your breath as quietly as you could.

“I heard that y’a know.”

You looked up from your crouched over position on the floor to see Serim standing up from the bed and coming over to crouch down next to you. His refusal and near inability to ever get mad at you was something that made you truly love him. It was one of the many reasons you had asked him to move in with you and pick new furniture, and appliances, and rugs, and so so so much more… but it was also something unfamiliar. You weren’t used to someone being so unbothered by all of your moods. You weren’t used to him not batting an eye when your whole body locked up. You weren’t used to someone immediately trying to take action and not running in the other direction when your ploys for stress relief became self-destructive. You weren’t used to Serim.

However you had to start getting used to him quickly, because he had already settled in with most of his stuff. You looked at him as he looked back at you, not a trace of animosity in his eyes. Serim simply waddled over to you, hunched over in the same position. With one hand lazily strewn across his knees and the other slowly patting your head. “Are you sure you don’t want to try the breathing again, and I mean actually try this time.” He looked at you expectantly waiting for some kind of response. Like two frogs squatting on a lily pad you two both sat there in silence for a moment. A very long moment.

You let out a long exasperated sigh and conceded “I’ll try the breathing exercises… again”.

He didn’t do a very good job of hiding it but Serim did his best to conceal the fact that he was beaming on the inside.

Later that night, the two of you had to sit down and have a long conversation about what it would be like living together. “As much as I love you and I want to be the one to take care of you, you know I can’t always be the one to remind you of what to do when you feel like you’re going to a dark place…” He said “Obviously I’m still going to be there for you… I just worry about what might happen when I’m gone for work or something” He confessed.

“I know… and I don’t want you to worry about me. I just feel like I’ve been dealing with a lot lately and I’ve been taking it out on you.” Your voice was low and meek and you looked down while saying it. “I feel like I’m self sabotaging in more ways than one.” You admitted.

“Well there’s nothing you could really do to sabotage our relationship.” Serim said earnestly reaching out a hand to grab yours and placing a gentle kiss on your cheek. “I just like you too much” he chuckled.

It took a couple hours to get you to feel calm again. Serim had to pull your hands away from your mouth to stop you from chewing your nails down to minute nubs more times than he could count, but his ardent love for you would have him standing around and trying his best to keep your wits about you forever and ever.

No matter how many breakdowns, or meltdowns, or freakouts he had witnessed it wasn’t enough to deter him from you because Serim knew that you would do the same for him. Despite your near constant refusal to take care of your own mental health, he had experienced all the times you had looked out for his. The many times you put his needs above your own made any attempt on your part to try and scare him away totally futile.

Serim watched as you steadied your breathing, before taking out some of your frustration on all the cardboard boxes that needed to be broken down and taken to the recycling bin. Whenever it seemed like your blood pressure would begin to rise again Serim would simply give you a comforting hug from behind, resting his head between your neck and shoulders, humming softly; his aura just had a way of rubbing off on you. Did that mean that this would be the last time the two of you would ever have to have these sorts of conversations on these sorts of days? Absolutely not. But that din’t mean you couldn’t look forward to having them together…

❥Allen

You had run out of tears long ago but that didn’t stop you from sniffling through belabored breaths as you laid on the couch. Of course Allen stuck close behind. One arm wrapped around your waist and the other propping up his head to get a better view of the TV.

It didn’t take him long to realize you weren’t really crying at the cheesy movie splayed across the television screen. You were more wrapped up with something else. You swore it was nothing, and to you, that may have really been true! Sometimes you got emotional or overstimulated for reasons you couldn’t really understand, even if your boyfriend knew that there probably was some underlying specific reason. The reason didn’t always matter, what mattered was how you felt in the moment, and right now you felt… well neither of you were quite sure how to feel?

“What’s wrong?” Allen whispered into your ear as he pulled you just a tiny bit closer.

“I really don’t know…” you said. You had been crying for so long that even if there was a reason for it in the first place you had forgotten it by now.

Allen snuggled closer to you as you did the same. Melting into his embrace and struggling to trace back the reason for your sadness, you still found it cathartic to let your emotions take over once in a blue moon.

Like a wave it washed over you at times though. You often had trouble experiencing your emotions but your emotions sure as hell had no trouble experiencing you. They had a way of taking you over that made it nearly impossible to focus on anything else while also making it incredibly difficult to pinpoint the triggers in the first place.

No matter what though, Allen always had a way of bringing you back to Earth. His calm and gentle demeanor, and carefree attitude made it so that you could always be yourself around him. Even if that self you needed to be wasn’t very pretty at times, he was always there taking notes and remembering things on how to help you better cope with your feelings the next time, and the next time…

Sometimes your big heart and structureless brain hindered you, sometimes they made life harder. But sometimes those things brought you to people like Allen.

The first time you ever cried in front of him felt mortifying! You were a complete blubbering mess and yet he still wanted to go out with you.

“Everybody cries” he had told you, no sense of irony in his voice.

“Yeah but I cry like… a lot” you responded.

All he did was shrug.

Now here you two were, almost a year later and you were still a self prescribed crybaby. Though, Allen didn’t like it when you called your self that, he found it demeaning and reductive but he also could acknowledge that you did cry! A lot! Not that it made him like you any less it just made him want to look after for you extra hard.

Allen lightly patted your stomach in a delicate rhythm making sure to not pull too much attention to the ways in which he was trying to comfort you. Of course he was letting you cry (or at least try to) for as long as you needed and he hummed softly in time with his small taps, subtly helping you focus on something other than whatever thoughts were running around up in your head. He really was helping, you just didn’t realize it. He was so good at helping without you realizing in fact, that it took him a good amount of time to notice that you weren’t awake anymore.

“Hey do you want to maybe watch something else?” He asked no longer hearing sniffling and wondering if that would make you want to move on the something more cheerful. “Or do you want to… cry some more?” He asked quietly peeking his head over yours to get a good look at your face. “So cute” he audibly cooed seeing your puffy cheeks and eyes squished against the soft fabric of the couch with your mouth slightly agape. “You poor thing.” He said to himself with more affection in his voice than any sort of pity.

Allen did his best to unlatch his arm from under you and move his legs that had found themselves intertwined with yours. He carefully wormed his way off of the couch and onto the carpet as quietly as possible. He reached an arm out to place it under your head and support your neck before pausing when you started fidgeting around again.

You always were prone to talking in your sleep. “Allen…” you muttered unconsciously, repeating his name a few times before flopping over fully asleep and snoring again.

Your boyfriend did the gentlemanly thing and supported your head before scooping you up and bringing you to his room. He made sure you were extra comfortable, covering every inch of you except the very top of your head in the biggest, fluffiest blanket he could find. You pawed at the blanket pulling it closer and Allen pushed some pillows into your arms as you began surrounding the pile of softness and fabric in your tight grip. You hugged them as if it were your boyfriend, none the wiser in your asleep state. Allen gave you a small peck on the part of your forehead that was still visible and quietly tiptoed out of the room.

He made sure to check on you every once in a while and rub your back or whisper something to you softly whenever you began tossing and turning again. He was used to regularly helping you fall back asleep when you had restless nights or night terrors so this was a walk in the park for him.

The next morning you awoke to utter darkness before clawing your way out of the cocoon Allen had made for you. The sheer white curtains in his room billowed in the morning breeze as you rolled over and noticed a small glass of water and a little pharmacy bag on the nightstand next to you. You had no idea when he had the time to slip out and get those as it was still quite early in the morning but all that crying, and tossing, and turning always gave you the most viscous headache. You wasted no time in sitting up and taking the pain medicine from the little parcel and taking a big swig of water.

A few minutes later the door to his room ever so slightly creaked open as Allen did his best to quietly shimmy through the doorway. “Oh you’re awake! Sorry I didn’t get breakfast or anything I assumed you’d be out for a little while longer.”

You stuck out your bottom lip pouting and wordlessly outstretching both of your arms signaling with your hands for him to come over. He complied, hopping up onto the bed and giving you a giant bear hug. He pulled back to look at you as more tears welled up in your eyes but these ones were more positive. You always appreciated how caring Allen was, how quickly he would move to help you without a second thought and without him, you wondered how miserable an entire nighttime of crying alone followed by a morning of throbbing headaches you had to deal with all by yourself would have been. You hugged him tightly, showing your appreciation the best you could as Allen leaned back to wipe some of the tears out of your eyes, worry fading and turning into a quiet chuckle as he realized you were now mostly okay.

Allen looked over at his phone “yeah we’ve still got so much of the day left, do you want to sleep more?” You nodded and hugged him tighter planting a small kiss on his neck. “Do you want me to join you?” He asked.

“Of course!” you chimed, voice still groggy but incredibly sincere.

❥Jungmo

Jungmo sat on the couch scrolling on his phone and playing with the collar of his tie as he waited for you to get ready. He hated having to dress up just to go to stuffy places and talk to a bunch of boring people and executives all night, but he had been invited to an upscale event and was required to go. At least he didn’t have to go alone, you were always down to join him in the things he found so boring, always whispering jokes and sharing drinks together in the corner of the room. He was excited to see what you would be wearing too! That was one of the few things helping him get excited for tonight. You were taking a little longer than usual to get ready but you also had an incredibly extensive closet and the biggest collection of accessories he had ever seen so he didn’t want to rush you. I mean, he didn’t want to rush you, but you guys were cutting it close if you took too much longer. “Y/N you almost done?” He asked walking over to the bathroom where you were supposed to be finishing up. “We can have like ten or fifteen more minutes but then we should probably g- Oh! You’re already ready!” He said barging into the bathroom and looking at you as your palms were placed flat on the counter and you stared into the mirror. “Wait, let me take a picture first, you look great!” He said excitedly.

You placed your hand over his phone and gently pushed it down. You shook your head and sighed. “No I don’t…” you trailed off.

Jungmo looked baffled. “What do you mean? You look amazing!” He said standing a little closer.

“Well I don’t feel amazing.” You retorted.

Jungmo took a second to take you in. He looked you up and down and then cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy. “Why not?” He asked. “I think you look incredible!”

You bowed your head and let out an exasperated groan. “Something’s just off… I just don’t look right.”

To him you looked breathtaking! Gorgeous enough to make him forget you two were supposed to be somewhere else in a few minutes time. “What’s off?”

“Just like… all of it!” A sad expression plastering your face. You rolled your eyes a bit every time you caught a glimpse of your own reflection in the bathroom mirror and huffed in annoyance at a problem you felt like couldn’t be fixed. “I can’t let anyone see me like this…” you said.

“I see you like this-“ Jungmo replied “and I like what I see.” He smiled.

“Yeah but your opinion doesn’t count you would have said that no matter what.”

“My opinion should be the only one that counts!” He said “Especially when you’re being way too hard on yourself.” Jungmo rubbed small circles onto your back in an attempt to encourage you. “Where’s all this coming from? Do I not tell you how good you look enough?”

“You tell me plenty!” You scoffed “it’s just something about this outfit, something about-“

“Then we’ll change the outfit. You’ve got plenty of stuff in your closet you barely ever get to wear!” Jungmo grabbed your hand but you stood still as a statue stopping him from dragging you away.

“That’s easy for you to say… you look great in everything.” You looked down at the floor.

Jungmo pouted. “The only reason I look good in everything is because you pick out all my clothes. I’d look a mess without you” he laughed.

You nodded your head in acknowledgment but still you weren’t fully convinced “maybe you should just go without me.”

“Go without you, are you crazy?” Jungmo furrowed his brows in complete shock. “When could I ever- how could I ever go to one of these boring corporate events without you?” He boomed. “I’m your boyfriend! Either we’re both going or neither of us are going!” He said unusually sternly for his laid back nature. “It’s up to you whether you want to stay or you want to go but either way I’m doing it with you!” He said. “And if this is all just over one outfit that’s an easy fix. We can be late, let’s go pick something else out.”

“Jungmo… I want to go with you I really do, but I just don’t want to drag you down…”

“You have got to stop saying stuff like this” he said. “You look great! You always look great! Even if you’re not feeling great I promise you no one in the world can tell but you… and maybe me on a good day.” He joked.

“You really don’t think I look awful?” You asked genuinely worried.

“It’s be impossible for you of all people to look awful.”

You sighed taking one more look back at yourself in the mirror. You still didn’t think you looked quite right and even just thinking of your reflection made you feel queasy, but if Jungmo thought you looked good then maybe you really did. You still wanted to change clothes though. The fabric all of a sudden felt constricting on your skin, it felt like a million tiny mites were crawling all over you. “Okay I’ll go change.” You said patting Jungmo’s chest and exiting the bathroom. He followed you out and to your bedroom where you began rifling through your closet looking for something else to wear that still matched your boyfriend and felt appropriate for the event. He stood there watching you for a moment.

“Do you need any help?” He asked.

“No, no I can do this myself. It’s more of a mental thing anyways, I won’t take too long”. You looked back for a second as Jungmo was still standing there watching you. “Can you go wait for me in the living room?” He didn’t budge.“Jungmo! Go wait outside.”

He looked surprised “Oh you’re serious.

“Yes I’m serious, I’m feeling kind of self conscious right now…” you said in earnest.

“Why though, it’s nothing I haven’t seen befo- Ouch that hurt!” Jungmo said taking a wadded up dress shirt to the face. “Okay fine I’ll wait for you in the living room” he said trudging off and rubbing his eye in slight irritation.

A few minutes later you reappeared into the common area of the apartment dressed in all new clothes. Jungmo smiled and clutched his phone once more. “Better?” He asked.

“Better!” you said.

“Now can we take a picture?” His eyes gleamed with hope as he swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet.

You hesitated for a moment. “Yeah sure, why not.”

Jungmo quickly grabbed your hand and raised his phone up to snap a few selfies of him kissing you on the cheek before you both rushed out the door. He still made sure to keep a tight clasp on your hand however. He also made sure to check in every so often as to how you were feeling. Most importantly, he made sure to keep reminding you of how good you looked all night. Even if you didn’t see it, even if you didn’t believe, even if your mind tried to convince you otherwise, Jungmo made sure to always be there as a ‘pick me up’ to make sure you were reminded of the reality right in front of you. The reality of having a partner that saw you for who you really were and would never falter when it came to reminding you of that.

❥Woobin

You placed your hand on the arm rest of the passenger’s seat and tapped your fingers in quick and nervous succession as Woobin held your other hand and started up the car. He whistled along to the radio and swayed his head to whatever ‘summery’ ballad was currently playing and set up the navigation app on his phone in blissful ignorance.

Since the weather had finally started warming up a mutual friend had invited the two of you over for a big get together. Though it was a relatively casual engagement, you still felt that all too familiar sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. The feeling you got every time you were about to ride a roller coaster, give a presentation, get lost on a hike, or in cases like these; go somewhere with a whole lot of people. You pulled at and fidgeted with the hem of your pants, letting go of the arm rest and aimlessly searching for some sort of cord or loose thread to pull on. You swallowed harshly feeling a lump form in your throat as Woobin absentmindedly rubbed his thumb across your knuckles with his free hand as he began to drive.

You could feel your heart rate rise as your body temperature did the same before quickly dropping again and again. You could’ve sworn you were sweating but turning on the A/C in the car felt like way too much. Your hands started to feel clammy as you looked over at Woobin who quickly glanced over to give you a warm smile before focusing his attention back on the road. His general sense of calm and the beautiful weather should have been enough to calm you down but it wasn’t really working. All you could focus on was the noise of tires scraping the road, the blaring music, the sunlight that was shining directly into your eyes, and how warm you felt. Or were you cold? You couldn’t really tell but what you knew for sure was that you did not feel good.

You almost started to feel nauseous as the car grazed over a tiny pot hole and your vision began to fog over a bit. You felt dizzy like you needed to sit down, but restless like you needed to just stand up and run all at the same time. You wanted to say something, and every time you looked over at Woobin you were almost compelled to, but for some reason or another the words just couldn’t escape your mouth.

“Are you okay?” Woobin’s voice rang out a little delayed in your ears but eventually registering properly.

You felt sick, you felt like garbage, you felt terrible! So of course you replied quickly “yeah I’m doing fine, I’m excited!” You said practically through gritted teeth, a cheesy grin plastered on your face. Why you lied? You had no clear idea. What you did know was that lying to him made you feel worse.

You chewed at your lip furiously as you often did when feeling anxious. You let out fast paced yet silent breath out through your nose and tried your hardest not to tap your feet in frustration. Your lips felt near swollen but you couldn’t stop biting. You bit, and bit, and bit until all you could taste was the metallic tasting saliva pooling on the tip of your tongue. Before you knew it, you were looking down as small red droplets dripped from the bottom corner of your lip and into the creases amongst woven denim of your pants “shit” you muttered to yourself. You just sat there and watched for a moment in a silent daze before speaking up. “Uh Binnie can we stop the car?”

“Yeah sure. Why?” He replied quickly adjusting his turn signal and pulling over into the farthest possible lane without hesitation.

As soon as the car stopped you turned to make awkward eye contact with your partner as he gazed in worry at the beet red complexion of your lips. “What happened?” Woobin scrambled to grab some tissues out of the glove compartment and wipe at your face. “When did you start bleeding? Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” He said eyes darting around looking for a cotton ball, or bandage, or anything of the sort. “Your jeans…” he said softly but still continued his frantic search.

“I think I’m gonna pass out.” you uttered plainly, stopping your partner in his tracks. You watched his dark brown eyes widen like saucers and then fill themselves with a new sense of determination!

Before you knew it you were sitting on a curb by the side of the rode near some random convenience store. Woobin returned shortly thereafter with a cold bottle of water, a first aid kit, and some tissues. He wasted no time in fixing up your lip and taking some solvent from the first aid kit to wipe at the little stains on your pants. He worked diligently sitting on the curb next to you, an array of medical materials strewn about. Watching him so focused helped calm you down a little bit, but you still weren’t feeling entirely better.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” He asked nervously searching every inch of visible skin he could find on you.

You grabbed his hands and looked him in the eyes. “Babe I’m okay now.”

You could see the apprehension in the befuddled stare he gave you.

“Really, I mean it. I’m okay now!” You repeated.

Woobin swallowed a little bit and took a moment to gauge the look in your eyes before crushing you with a hug and rubbing your back as you both sat on the ground by the car. “Alright I believe you” he said before letting go and giving you a second to catch your breath.

You two decided to take a moment to enjoy the fresh air before getting back into the car. It really was a beautiful day out. There was a perfect amount of breeze and just the two of you sitting together made you feel much more at ease.

You both enjoyed your time in the sunshine looking up at the sky and taking in the tranquil scenery. “Look at that one it kind of looks like a cuddly bear doesn’t it”. Woobin giggled pointing at a cluster of clouds arranged ever so perfectly in the shape of a bear’s head with two perfectly fluffy cheeks and round ears to match. Finally, the cars didn’t feel so loud, and the air didn’t feel so stuffy. Woobin pointed up at the sky while expertly unscrewing the cap and placing a bottle of water in your hands without you noticing.

“Yeah it does, it looks a lot like you” you joked taking a swig of water and cooling down.

About half an hour later the two of you had your fill of pointing out silly shapes in the clouds and had stopped back into the store to grab some well deserved treats. Re-positioning himself at the wheel, Woobin took his phone off the dashboard and slipped it into his pocket.

“What about the party, don’t you need the directions up still?”

“Nah… let’s just go home, you’ve had enough socializing for the day.” He said clasping your hand once more and giving you a knowing smile.

❥Wonjin

“Alright… shower? Check. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Check. Room clean? Check-“

“Do we really have to do this Wonjin”. You groaned loudly, leaning your head back over one of your dining room chairs as Wonjin sat across from you and peered at your contorted face through the top of the frames of his glasses.

He took a deep breath “Y/N we really do.” He said clicking his pen and running it down the different elements of a check list.

“It feels so… silly It makes me feel like fucking kid!”

“Well it works doesn’t it?” Wonjin said.

“Can’t we do something else? You know like a normal couple…”

“We are a normal couple! We just have a system and the system works, so we have to keep doing it.” He replied not looking up from his official looking clip board.

You sneered a little in response “Why though…”

You and Wonjin had implemented a new process into both of your nightly routines where you would sit down and check off all of the necessary things you needed to do to function throughout any given day. Most of the things seemed intuitively simple but you and him both knew better than anyone else that one bad mood could send you into a spiral that prevented you from getting such simple things as grabbing the mail from your mailbox done once a week. If you were feeling down, you were dismal. It made it impossible for you to remember to take care of yourself when you had other things going on so Wonjin drafted up a list of some of the most basic things you needed to do each day. Things that came incredibly naturally to others but not so much to you. Wonjin made sure to get all the proper materials to make the process seem more legitimate to you. He got a special list typed up and laminated, dry erase markers for the fridge, brand new pens, a clipboard, sticky notes, and a tiny box full of trinkets and treats. You didn’t appreciate the machinations of his executive brain but that was okay, he was really proud of himself. He was especially proud with the box he had gotten. Not only would you get to reach in and grab a small reward each night but Wonjin would get one too if you completed all your tasks so that he could be more encouraged to help you. Not that he really needed any material incentive. This was something he would have done for you anyways, but making it a collaborative effort made you feel a little less alone.

The rewards inside the box were quite small but they were still enough to round out the rest of your night very positively. It was mostly full of stickers, charms, small bills, and little slips of paper with things like ‘have dessert a second time’ written on them. It was a crudely decorated little thing, covered in glitter glue and plastic gems with a picture from your anniversary stuck to the inside. The gifts may have been small but they still managed to brighten you up a bit even if you felt childish having to be monitored so closely.

You gave him a hard time about it but it really was helpful how Wonjin took the initiative in making sure you got things done. He got tired of always asking you about your day and not loving what he heard. At first you objected to the idea of a to do list being of any help to you and your mental health, but it was frustrating how well it worked.

Wonjin raised a single eyebrow and looked back over at you. “So I’m assuming you don’t want to pick anything from the special prize bin today?” He said.

“It’s not a ‘special prize bin’ it’s a cheap wooden jewelry box from the craft store.” You said.

“Well I’m gonna pick something from the special prize bin.” Wonjin made a big show of closing his eyes reaching into the box and rummaging his hand around in there for a while before pulling something out and immediately hiding it. He quickly hid his hands under the table and looked at something tucked away within his palms.

“What’d you get?” You asked slightly disinterested but still leaning over the table to better see what he grabbed.

“Uh-uh, no way. You didn’t wanna pick anything” Wonjin said sticking out his tongue at you. “Not my fault you didn’t want a prize.”

“If I pick something will you let me see what you got?” You asked.

“I don’t know…” he said “I think you deserve a prize but if you don’t think you deserve one that’s not on me.”

“I don’t deserve a prize for eating dinner…” you bit your lip and looked down.

“Of course you do! But I’m still not showing you what I got until you pick something…”

“Fine.” You said reaching for the box. Wonjin excitedly cracked it open for you just enough to reach your hand in and mull around for something that felt… right. You dug around for a bit and pulled out a chunky metal heart charm. “Cute enough.” You said to yourself. “Now what did you get Wonjinnie?”

Wonjin pouted and furrowed his brows. “Wait no I want to trade, you’ll like mine more anyways!” He said trying to grab the charm from you before you pulled your arms away.

“Since when have we ever done that?”

“Since now!” He said brows still fervently knitted together. Wonjin placed a little gachapon figurine on the table and offered it to you. You weren’t exactly sure who or what it was, but you did recognize that it was a character from one of his favorite comics.

“Why would I want something that was so clearly meant for you” you asked. “All I got was some like.. brecelet charm?”

“Just because.” Wonjin said, and you noticed his face redden a bit.

“Okay, okay fine…” You said and handed over the charm. The figure was pretty cute anyways and it reminded you of your boyfriend, so it wasn’t a big deal.

Wonjin would never admit why he was feeling so shy but he was glad you had just dismissed your prize and traded with him. If your eyes had been a little keener you might have noticed the small latch on the ‘charm’ you had picked out and realized it was actually a locket. Inside was a small picture of you as a kid smiling big, holding some sort of old stufffed animal. You hated looking at your childhood pictures for some reason, maybe because it brought back unpleasant memories, or maybe because it reminded you of a time in your life when you didn’t need a list to keep your mental stability in check, but Wonjin loved those pictures all the same. No matter how goofy you looked he loved them because he loved you and a little locket was the perfect gift to get him ready to do this all over again tomorrow. Even if you whined and complained, you just being here to complain, alive and well was what he really needed…

❥Minhee

Chores were always a thing that calmed you down, and as much as he might’ve hated doing them… Minhee loved you more.

You hadn’t spoken a word to each other in hours. You were diligently refolding and reorganizing each and every single article of clothing in your dresser drawers and closet. Why you had to be doing this on a beautiful Saturday afternoon he had no idea, but he was helping you anyway.

The weirder, more tedious, and unnecessary a chore was the bigger the issue you were currently dealing with. Sure it was a bit of a drag to be spending an hour and a half washing dishes, or in this instance multiple hours folding and ironing clothes but he preferred this to the ways you would try to divert stress when he had first met you.

Back then it would have been impossible for you to take breather without punishing yourself in some way but Minhee’s willingness to just tag along and do whatever you were already doing really helped you feel comfortable amidst the internal mayhem. For Minhee doing chores was a form of punishment but to you it was pure bliss.

You would often have periods of time where you just couldn’t get words out, to anyone, no matter what they were or no matter why you wanted or needed to say to them, but as a quiet person himself, Minhee didn’t feel totally uncomfortable in the silence. He liked the way the two of you could just be together, existing in the same space simply able to enjoy each other’s company. For each of you the presence alone of the other felt so grounding.

Minhee remembered a long time ago when you had told him that it was enough for him to just ‘be around’ and that made you feel better. It was then that his crush on you grew tenfold and he just knew he had to tell you about it. Of course he never did, he was too shy, but you guys had ended up together anyways!

It was times like these, where he sat crosslegged in front of your tidy ironing board, creasing out only a few wrinkles on some your clothes, that he was reminded of how you truly felt about him without having to say it with words. Even when you were struggling and couldn’t find the strength to speak, the way your pinky would ever so slightly graze his when passing garments back and forth or how your eyes would shoot up and follow his every movement every time he got up to walk away.

No matter what he would always say something along the lines of “Don’t worry I’m not going anywhere.”

If Minhee said he’d be back in a minute, not even sixty-one seconds could pass before he would make his way back to you. It always broke his heart and simultaneously endeared him the way your puppy like eyes would wordlessly follow him around a room, or how still you’d sit upon waiting for him to come back. But he aways did come back, so you didn’t have to worry.

Your fingers worked with an almost mathematical precision going through every t-shirt, every pair of pants, every button up, every pair of socks, everything! He never thought the time would come but eventually the two of you finished.

It almost startled him when you spoke for the first time in ages even though your voice was so soft and low. “Do you want me to do yours?” You asked genuinely, while placing the last piece of clothing onto a hook and shutting the closet door.

‘Could you be any more adorable…’ He thought to himself. “That’s okay Y/N” He said and walked over squishing your cheeks between his palms and peppering kisses all across your face. “Do you wanna talk about why we just spent four hours reorganizing your already perfectly organized clothes?” He cocked his head to the side and looked down at you. “-And why you want to do even more…”

You looked down in shame “I think I just want to be distracted right now. I feel like I need to be doing something… just anything…”

Minhee understood what that meant. There were times when talking was helpful and very necessary and there were other times were those conversations needed to be put off until later. Sure it tore him up a little bit inside that you didn’t immediately feel comfortable telling him what was wrong but he also would much rather you be keeping yourself busy and enjoying his company than locking yourself away. There were times when you would be so far gone that even if he physically shook you, you couldn’t reach him. There were times when the silence wasn’t a comfortable understanding but rather, a sinister creeping energy that loomed over the both of you stopping you from being to able to experience anything in that moment. Sometimes it scared him the way your mind could so easily take you away from him, but it impressed him all the more when you could pull yourself out. He was always with you every step of the way, charging uphill to make you feel better. And if what would make you feel better right now was going through all of his laundry then that’s what the rest of this Saturday would be made to do.

“We can do mine… my hamper’s full of stuff anyways!” He said.

“Thanks Minhee.” You said “Okay go get your basket, I’m already getting antsy!”

You appreciated how easily he could flip the script and just go along with whatever you needed in that moment. “I owe you ice cream or something…” You said trying your best to sound chipper.

Minhee trudged over with his enormous pile of laundry and gave you a playful scoff “You owe me more than just ice cream. You owe me whatever four hours worth of food is!”

You let out a small laugh “I promise I’ll wake up early tomorrow morning and cook you something that takes at least four hours to make. You can enjoy your Sunday morning by sleeping in.”

“Alright deal!” He said. Knowing full well that he would make himself wake up just as early as you so he could help you in the kitchen. “I’m toootally gonna enjoy sleeping in!”

❥Hyeongjun

You absolutely hated work! Not just work in general, but the work that you had to do specifically. Coming home from a long day at your job always left you drained. Your boss was always micromanaging, and your coworkers loved any and all types of gossip at your expense. It didn’t help that you were the youngest in the office either. It was nearly impossible to stick up for yourself without later receiving some sort of reprimand in the form of extra hours with no extra pay. Almost every weekday had you returning home absolutely exhausted. You’d slip your shoes off at the door and lazily slip your work attire off piece by piece leaving a trail of clothes on the floor before taking a nice long hot shower. After your shower, there was no guarantee you’d be energetic enough to make dinner so you’d rummage around in your fridge and just eat the first thing you saw. On particularly bad days you would immediately lay on the couch entering a state that was borderline catatonic. Some nights it felt like you only had time to lay on the couch for a minute and blink your eyes a few times. Before you knew it, the sky was a tiny bit brighter and the alarm on your phone was going off again signaling to you that it was now the start of another long day. Begrudgingly getting up and beginning to get ready was always incredibly difficult, but recently right before you walked out the door you would get a little text of encouragement every day.

You had only gone out on about three and a half dates (one of them was cut short due to a last minute call from your boss) but Hyeongjun was already so in tune with your schedule. It might’ve partially been because you complained about work so much that he had just picked up on it that way, but his little digital pep-talks always had a way of putting a smile on your face. Even on the darkest of days. It’s like he sensed when a day was going to be more difficult than any of the others because his messages were always the sweetest the mornings right before you experienced hell.

Hyeongjun made you feel like color had re-entered the world. Life had felt so black and gray for so long and you couldn’t remember the last time you had been excited to talk to someone. He was always cheerful but not too cheerful, empathetic yet discerning, reasonable but always kind, and he had such a way with words. You didn’t think you’d ever find another person who could find the joy hidden beneath all your sadness but Hyeongjun seemed like the one.

Even though you hated work you also hated the one break from work you got during the day. Your lunch break was usually spent sitting alone in your car for forty-five minutes staring off into space and waiting for the day to be done. Whenever you felt down you tended to lose your appetite and that had been the case the past couple of weeks. You knew you should have been hungry and you almost were, you could tell from the way your belly would growl every once in a while. However, your brain and the rest of your body just couldn’t and wouldn’t let you even stomach the thought of food. Sometimes you’d listen to the radio but other times you’d just sit there looking out the window but not really taking any of it in. Sometimes Hyeongjun would message you on your break to ask what you were eating or what you were doing to kill time and you couldn’t bring yourself to come up with a good enough lie, so you would just be honest and tell him ‘nothing’. It nearly baffled you how you could give him almost nothing, you could give him so little to work with and he could so easily keep the conversation going!

You were sure today was going to be another one of those days. You sat at your desk entering some pointless data into a spreadsheet reminding yourself of one of the messages your crush had sent you that morning. You were already halfway through the day, you could do a few hours more right?

Suddenly right before you were about to go on break you heard a series of little taps right above your head. You looked up to see Hyeongjun smiling widely at you, fingers gripping the top of your computer monitor. You looked around shocked for a second making sure that this was real. “What are you doing here?” You asked eyes wide.

“I’m here to hang out with you duh!” Hyeongjun stepped around your desk to grab your bag and sling it around his shoulder. He took your jacket off of the back of your uncomfortable office chair and held it out as if to put it on you.

There were a few odd stares from your coworkers but they didn’t pay the two of you much mind. You stood up and let the boy happily put your jacket sleeves over your arms and give you a quick side hug.

Hyeongjun looked away shyly for a moment. “You seemed so bummed out over the phone yesterday I hope you don’t mind me stopping by.”

You took a moment to think. Was it too early for things like this? Should you be more apprehensive? You felt uneasy for a moment but that feeling quickly dissipated as Hyeongjun flashed you a big toothy grin. “Of course I don’t mind” you said.

Taking the elevator down was awkward in the same way sitting in class next to the person you liked as a kid was awkward. The butterflies in your abdomen danced and your stomach did acrobatic flips and Hyeongjun’s pinky inched closer and closer to yours before wrapping around your hand and holding it gently. He didn’t say a word but the way his lips pressed into a thin line to prevent him from smiling told you all you needed to know. You had no idea how he knew that a little bit of surprise and the slight change in routine was exactly what you needed to uplift your mood. Your outlook had been so bleak as of late and you weren’t sure who you could talk to about how you were feeling, but you were pretty sure the man holding your hand right now was a step in the right direction.

Hyeongjun would never tell you but he had spent countless night just laying in his bed thinking about you and researching ways to help. Even if you didn’t say it out right he didn’t need to be told directly that you weren’t feeling like yourself for a very long time. You were complex and he felt like there was still a lot more of you to unpack and he planned on spending the next forty-five minutes getting you to open up to him whether you wanted to or not!

❥Taeyoung

“I’m baaack!” Taeyoung shouted loudly hoping to get your attention as quickly and abruptly as possible. He thought it was sort of strange the way he didn’t immediately hear a response, but what he thought was even stranger was when he saw no tiny beam of light leaking out from underneath the bedroom door. Usually his sign that you were home was the little ray of light illuminating his feet as he approached your room but now it was just dark. Your shoes were by the door, keys hanging on the hook in the exact same way they were when he had left. Those seemed to be the only signs that you were probably even here. He went to quietly turn the doorknob tiptoeing and slinging his backpack over his shoulder to avoid the noise it made as it dragged on the hardwood floors. Maybe you were napping? It was getting dark outside but it was still only the late afternoon. Normally at this time, you were absorbed into a new book or something like that. However, upon entering the room things really were just as he had left them, you included. Curled up in the same amorphous blob, room pitch black, curtains drawn, phone plugged into the charger and resting on the nightstand. Taeyoung checked his watch to make sure the jet lag hadn’t completely screwed up his sense of time. He looked at the screen of his watch and then back at the giant mass of grey comforter on the bed. “Are you really sleeping it’s only like 4PM…” he said dropping his bag onto the now plush carpet beneath the bed and crawling up beside you.

He sat up on his knees and peeked over the pile of a person next to him and gently shook the covers to see if you were actually there. He could feel your form underneath the blanket but you still didn’t say anything, no release of breath, no snoring, no adorable sleepy mumbles… nothing! “Hey are you in a coma or something” he huffed playfully “you’re normally way more excited to see me!” That’s when he heard a small groan from under the covers, for a second he could have sworn it was the creak of the floorboards but now he was sure it was a noise from you. “I didn’t mean to bother you I just figured I’d come straight here since it’s been a- Oh!”

“Hey” you croaked out, voice hoarse and face mostly buried amid the covers. You turned over slowly to greet your boyfriend “How was the show?” You asked without the usual sense of genuine intrigue in your tone.

“It was… good. How’ve you been?” He said reaching over to move a bit of the comforter to ruffle your hair and pat your head. “You haven’t been like this since I left have you?” He chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in glee and then faltering a bit as you looked away and wearily bit your dry lips.

“When did you leave again?”

“You haven’t been like this since I left? Right?” a smidgen of worry entering his tone and then a currant of realization. “Y/N, really?” a mix of familiar disappointment and general unease wafted over your boyfriend as he scooted closer and sighed. “The whole time?”

“I mean I got up to like pee once. I think…”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Taeyoung let a harsh breath escape his nose before running a hand through his already messy black hair. “You could have at least shot me a text...” He said bleakly.

“I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“When could you ever even begin to bother me?”

Your face contorted in shame and you sunk deeper into the soft fabric adorning your body. “I meant to at one point, I really did, but then I just… I don’t know-” You inhaled deeply eyes narrowing, brain struggling to focus on the task at hand, and heart struggling to connect to the conversation.

“You know I hate when you don’t tell me when you’re feeling bad.” He said.

“I just knew you’d probably try and like come home or something and I didn’t really feel like getting up to grab my phone.”

“You didn’t want me to come home?” Taeyoung’s pupils enlarged slightly as he scoffed quietly.

“Of course I wanted you to come home! I just didn’t want you to come home early!”

“So you just laid down here in the dark for like-” He stopped himself as he felt his emotions bubbling over. You two complemented each other in that way but it also made things difficult at times.

You were used to keeping things bottled up inside and Taeyoung was used to forcing you to talk about those things. Taeyoung was used to getting easily worked up and frustrated over the small stuff and you were used to offering some gentle perspective. He had a more aggressive approach to pulling you out of these “slumps” and it could come off as intense but he really just had no other way of showing you how much he cared. Sometimes he didn’t really get it. Sometimes he thought it would be so much easier for you to just get up, to just open the blinds, to just call him. It drove him crazy that he couldn’t be privy to all of the intricate details of your mind. It bothered him that a person so wonderful, so kind, so funny, and interesting, and charismatic, and personable… wasn’t able to share that with everyone all the time, especially with him. More than any bother though, more than frustration, more than annoyance, or anger, or any other negative emotion, you had helped Taeyoung further cultivate his arguably most beautiful trait; his empathy. Sure he was still a little shit stirrer every now and again but at the end of the day, seeing you just as upset over something you couldn’t control, how your mind and body were at odds constantly telling you that the one person who loved you most in this world shouldn’t be bothered with your issues made him just want to help you the best he could.

Taeyoung took a deep breath “Let’s go for a walk while the sun’s still out, how about that.” He suggested. “Also maybe shower first…”

You wanted to object but as you mulled over your answer your boyfriend couldn’t help but reach his hands under the duvet to try and pull you out, tickling you in the process.

“Okay, okay!” You laughed as Taeyoung giggled and continued to try and pull you out. “I can get up myself jeez…” You still weren’t feeling your best but the hopeful look on the man beside you’s face made you want to make him happy.

“Sorry for raising my voice at you I just wanted to make sure you were okay and I freaked out seeing you so-”

You cut him off “it’s okay, I’ll be okay. I’ve just been really tired and stuff. I should have called you.”

“Next time…” Taeyoung said as you sat up and he tackled you into a tight hug. “Maybe we can even lay here together for a couple more minutes, better yet let’s just go on a walk tomorrow I’m tired too…”

❥Seongmin

“Are you gonna be done soon…” Seongmin asked cheek pressed against the doorway and lips pursed in minor annoyance.

More than annoyance however, he felt concern. His face squished against the wooden frame of the entrance to your makeshift office (the desk in the corner or your shared bedroom). Normally this would have been about the fifth time in the hour Seongmin would come over to disturb you while you were working, but this past week and a half had been pretty different. He had seen you like this before, completely absorbed in your work, tired and distracted… but now it felt more like you were purposefully over working yourself. You weren’t just absorbed in work, but completely overwhelmed by it, more than tired you were utterly sleep deprived, you weren’t even really distracted you were just distracted when it came to him. Seongmin was pretty used to having your undivided attention or at the very least viciously demanding it. You found it cute the way he always wanted to be at your side making you laugh or just watching your expressions as you listened to a story he told. It was one of the reasons he loved you so much. Your willingness to include each other in just about anything the other was doing without it even really being necessary was what endeared him to you in the first place. Though, that made it all the more upsetting when you couldn’t or rather wouldn’t include each other in something.

When you had started your relationship Seongmin remembered you telling him you were a difficult partner. That often times it felt like your brain would grow legs and start running faster than you could keep up. That you would become physically and psychologically exhausted out of the blue. He thought it was silly how you would think your own personal struggles would deter him from wanting to be with you, but he quickly realized that even the brightest smile and silliest nudge in the right direction wouldn’t be enough to pull you out of a spiral once it started. It wasn’t impossible, not in the slightest, but Seongmin did really have to try. He had to try and be delicate with his words, careful with his actions, and very intentional about the way he would attempt to help you. He remembered you saying it wasn’t always about just trying to cheer you up but just noticing before things got too bad. Now he was noticing, and remembering the last time he saw you like this.

“Do you want to eat dinner… or like… take a break?” Seongmin asked. Gentle voice ringing throughout the room and eventually echoing through the nearly silent apartment. “You know you have to respond to me eventually.” He huffed stopping before he got frustrated.

All he got was a sort of muffled “sorry” from you in response as you kept clacking away at your computer.

He slowly unstuck his face from the doorframe “is typing more important than me?” approaching slowly and cracking a smile he reached his arms out to not only try and softly grab your shoulders but also to steady himself while sauntering over the sea of loose papers and piles of books strewn about the floor. “I was making a gentle suggestion before but now I’m serious! It’s time to take a break Y/N!” Seongmin rested his hands at either side of you just beside your neck and placed his thumbs right by your shoulder blades. He used his remaining fingers to lift up your chin and straighten out your posture a bit. “You haven’t looked me in the eyes in like two days.” Adjusting your chin more he leaned over to look at you flashing his signature puppy eyes, dark brown and sparkling as you returned his gaze.

You finally looked back at him letting him take in the bags under your eyes, visible even in the dim yellow glow reflected from your beat up desk lamp. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration isn’t it”. You said smiling dryly and stifling a yawn.

“Not really…” His reply had tinge of genuine sadness to it but he tried his best to hide it with another smile.

You spun around in your chair to face him better. “Sorry” you said again, this time a little clearer. “I just… have a lot of work to get done. Once I start it feels like I can’t stop.” You looked off into the distance, avoiding your partner’s eyes as you spoke. “I just feel like if I stop I’ll feel worse and I already have a lot of stuff to do so I just need to keep going, I just-” you furrowed your brows and narrowed your gaze as if trying to remember what it was that had originally glued you to this chair a couple days ago. “-I need to…” you trailed off.

“You need to take a break.” Seongmin said in all seriousness “right now”. He reached down to clasp your hands in his, and prevent you from turning around and working again.

That was enough to bring some clarity to you and remind you of what it felt like to be present again. You had spent so many hours tucked away in this room for seemingly no reason that Seongmin’s plain gaze and soft yet firm grip around your fingers helped to un-numb your senses. A wave of hunger, thirst, fatigue, and an ache in your upper body from sitting in the same position for so long hit you all at once. “Shit I feel awful…” you said to yourself “and kind of stupid, I don’t know why I do that.”

Seongmin leaned down and placed a little kiss on your nose. “You’re not stupid, just silly”. He chuckled waving a hand in front of your face “welcome to earth, it’s good to have you back!”

You smiled in embarrassment and bit your lip anxiously. “It hasn’t really been two days has it?”

Noticing the slight worry in your eyes and the way your fingers started to twitch in his hands, Seongmin decided to forgo the truth. “No! No! It’s only been like… I was exaggerating before it’s been like… Hey! Do you want to order food you must be really hungry!”

“I mean I thought…” your mind was a bit foggy but what he was saying didn’t seem right. Then the mention of ordering food settled into your mind and that did seem right. “Oh yeah, I’m totally starving!”

“Let me go get my phone.” Seongmin ruffled your hair a bit and then rushed out and before you could even blink, he was pulling you out of your chair and onto the bed to sit and browse his food delivery app. The dark circles were still ever-present under your eyes and you looked a bit haggard but as your face scanned his phone, no longer absorbed in work, a genuine smile on your face, light returning to your being he thought you looked really beautiful. Rubbing small circles on your back he reminded himself to remember this for next time, because no matter how awful it seemed there would always be a next time and that was okay…

-🍌🍶

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authorforrosie · 2 years ago

Text

Dating Minnie From [G] I-DLE Would Include:

• Minnie met you for the first time when she sat in a small cozy café that sold green tea. She admired you when you read a book with a mug of green tea on the table. Her cheeks flushed red when you caught her staring. After a while she decided to join you which caused a beautiful relationship and friendship to blossom slowly.

• You asked her out on a date after being friends for a few months.

•Minnie often takes the lead in your relationship and friendship. Mostly in your awkward and obvious moments. Which get caused by your shy introvert personality.

•You would pout with puppy eyes when she wasn't around you. You make grabby hands and cuddle with her when one of you feels bad about something. Which is very often caused by her

missing dates due at work as an idol.

•Minnie loves to photograph. You supported her hobbies with your whole heart. Sometimes you buy her good quality cameras or model for her.

•You tried to go at as many concerts and tours as possible for [G] i-dle since you wanted to support the love of your life and your best friends.

•Minnie buy's you every merchandise and blushes when you wear merchandise with her name or face on it. She knows you look absolutely glorious in the merchandise.

•You go shopping with her whenever you go on a vacation or when you go on tour with them. If you can't join her on tour then she buys you reminders.

•Minnie squealed loudly when you brought two tickets for Troye Sivan concert. Since you knew how she loves the celebrity. Let's just say you both had the time of your lives. Especially Minnie who had no voice and sore muscles after the concert.

•You ask her to marry her in the middle of [G] i-dle concert. Her bandmates cried and recorded everything with their phone's. Especially the staff. She cried and said three times 'Yes.'

•Minnie couldn't wait to marry in the night time on the beach in the moonlight. That's her magical dream wedding.

•You learn how to play piano since Minnie is a good teacher. Every touch felt magical in your opinion. The first song you learned on piano was one last time by Ariana Grande.

•Minnie married you at night time on the beach in the moonlight. You looked absolutely glorious in one of the most beautiful white dresses. Everyone cried and laughed at the wedding. Especially at the reception when stories about lives got told. Her bandmates, blackpink, Got7 and Sorn definitely embarrassed her with their stories about younger Minnie.

•You spent the honeymoon in Bora Bora, Rom, Venedig, Bangkok, Paris and Barcelona for a few weeks. Let's just say you had so much fun that you both didn't wanna go back at South Korea.

•Minnie's family loved you like a family member by DNA. Her brother's always told you that you are the best sister in law. They told Minnie not to hurt you. Since you couldn't hurt a fly in their opinions.

•You wake her up with slow kisses that change into open butterfly kisses. When she is awake you attack her whole face with kisses. Your hands would roam her side’s under the nightwear. From her rib cage’s to the hips and thighs. Sweet words would shared and she would pull you closer into her body before you could get off the queen sized bed.

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daegulinekush · 2 years ago

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The death of peace of mind

~ a Kim Taehyung fanfiction

Warnings: Balkan!oc, some cursing, aggressive behavior (more like urges, she truly wanna fight someone), sad™️, the drama starts little by little, some past refered and quite vague angst?

Chapter 4: ★ Didn't he bleed enough already?★

There are pains that are inevitable in life. I understand that. I understand that some types of pains are unavoidable, like losing a loved one who’s much older than you. There are events that cannot be avoided and contexts that cannot be avoided no matter how much one tries to fight against fate itself.

This doesn’t mean it hurts less. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t raise hell upon the ones who dared to hurt him and it definitely doesn’t tame the rage I feel within every time his dark brown eyes, as sweet as hot chocolate during the harshest of winters and just as warm, fill with tears.

It’s just something regarding the way I can literally see his soul cracking and breaking without anything able to stop it that ticks me the wrong way. Something in the way I simply know a broken heart is just like a plate: you could apologize to it a hundred times, pierce it back together and put thick glue, but it’ll never be the same as before. Maybe selfishly I wish to make art out of his pieces, forge them together with gold, just like the Japanese art I have seen so many times being displayed in my middle school years. No gold would ever be as precious as the one his heart is already made of, though. Besides, a soul is not just an object you can repair like that.

I have seen the pain in those very same eyes countless times. I have seen it when we were ten and he called me on face time with the ugliest of snout running down his pretty features as he sobbed his heart out when his grandma died and how it had shaken him whole to lose her. I knew how close he was to her and how much she mattered to him, how she was the one raising him mostly until he entered school. I, myself, did not share the feeling, as his grandma wasn’t much of a presence in my life and I didn’t interact much with her even while we were on her land, running and picking up strawberries during summer breaks. I haven’t formed any attachment with her to be affected by such news. Seeing him with his huge eyes and so broken, unable to hug him and comfort him in the only ways I knew and still know as I am not a person good at comforting others by words, it made me cry too along with him.

Some would call it empathy, someone crying because they see their childhood best friend crying. Wrong. Empathy feels like a too gracious and generous term to use for the reason my heart breaks when I see him crying, for the reasons behind my flaming anger when his gentle eyes fill up with tears. I call it selfishness and I am one selfish motherfucker.

Nobody is allowed to hurt him, from my perspective. I’d find them and hunt them down if I could, even if that means I’ll have to march with death itself. Sadly, I am just a human being and such things are impossible to do.

I just had to accept that some kinds of pain are unavoidable. Just like I had to learn harshly I can’t stop some things from happening, that want it or not, some experiences will be rendered silent not just because I am the one going through them and I entirely refuse to talk about them and the ways they affected me, Some things he will be the one to go through and hide forever, deep into his bleeding heart, so deep not even I will be able to reach them.

When I was little, I used to ache for what he had, in all honesty. I was just four when I had met his little sister, Minhee, after all. I was just four and in my mind he was lucky, having everything.

All I ever had had been my mom. We were alone, with nobody to support us in any meaning. But Taehyung? He had everything. He had not just a mother but a father too, one who loved him dearly. He had a sister, a bundle of joy we would later chase around - or, rather, she would struggle to keep up with our running around when she barely learnt to walk. He had grandparents and cousins and everything I didn’t have - uncles and aunts he was close with.

In my mind, he had everything, while all I had was my mom.

I ached for a family like his. I ached for siblings to mess around with and I ached for an actual dad who would love me the way Taehyung’s dad loved him and Minhee. I ached to be loved like that, to have someone to call dad, ached to be loved by both parents. Even as mom loved me endlessly, even as she took the hardship of raising me alone against my father’s wish, I ached for one. I ached for it so badly, especially when Tae’s dad would chase us around and raise him on his shoulders, when he would be such a soft presence, when he would be the one to be on our side when we caused trouble. I ached for such warmth, for someone who would cover my little slips in front of mama too. Someone whom I could tell I loved toffee sweets with green apples and would get me a whole bag just because.

I never knew how it is to have a dad. Just like I never truly knew how it is to have siblings, be it younger or older. I simply didn’t know. How could I, after all?

Yet, Taehyung had shared his dad with me in a way. He didn’t have to, he wasn’t my father but his. Yet, he never got pissed when his dad played with me. Never became jealous when he would pick fruits for me or buy sweets for me. Never once made a comment about how I was all over his dad, trying to get his attention to fill a hole I didn’t even know at the time that existed. On the contrary, he would be the one to tell his dad to hold me on his shoulders. Would whisper too loudly about how I liked some type of sweets. Would somehow drag his attention to me, just because I needed it.

In a way, Taehuyng also treated me as if I were his younger sister. He’s always been so generous, in those small ways that matter the most. In the way he never minded if I wrapped the blanket all around myself and simply wiggled his way back beneath while hugging me. In the way he wiped my tears and never once laughed at me for them. In the way he would share anything and everything with me, things I knew very well were dear with him and would normally not let anyone touch. If he was given even a mere egg, he’d share it with me.

Just as any siblings would have, we also had our fights, even if we aren’t siblings by any meaning. We’d tickle fight, we’d yell at each other, become stubborn ad refuse to talk to each other for a few minutes that felt like eternity at the time.

Here for me. Always here for me when I needed it the most.

Where have I been? Where have I been when his grandmother died and all he needed was a hug? Where have I been when he was bullied during school? Where have I been when the very man I thought of as sweet and used to wish were my father had become a monster? Where have I been when everything went south for him?

It’s a cruel thought. The one that I wasn’t there, not properly, not in the way he needed me. It’s cruel to know he went through things I would probably never truly know, things he had told me nothing about. I merely woke up with his father gone and a new house he lived in, a new city, and a changed behavior.

Up to this day I still don’t truly know what happened. All I could get out of ma was that it got “ugly” and became “physical” at some point. All I know is that Taehyung avoids physical fights with all of his being. I can only assume what happened considering those pieces of information that I have, which are very limited as they are.

A subject that is closed as a silent, unspoken rule between everyone. One I cannot open nor get close to, touch by any means. They might be my family, by they’re also not, in a weird way. As much as I am part of their family, I am not family, I am not theirs. As such, I have no right to touch such a subject. Just like they can’t touch some subjects of my family.

Selfishly, sometimes I wonder which one is better: to have a dad and for him to fuck it up or to not have one at all?

It doesn’t change the way I feel, though. It doesn’t change the way rage takes over me, back to the present, as the past is merely a pretext by this point. It doesn’t change the way every part of me is trembling out of the rage filling me, a fire with flames raising so high they might as well be called hell, but I’d merely call rain. It doesn’t change the way my fists clench and it doesn’t change the absolutely destructive need I feel to have her goddamn blood soaking my hands as I absolutely obliterate her pretty, fake face. Not even Jimin himself would be able to rip me from that girl if I catch her.

I don’t have any wish of going back to police stations and neither do I have to cross on a bucket list being behind the bars but that doesn’t mean anyone should have the fucking audacity to make my best friend cry. She doesn’t deserve the way his eyes are just as wide and as full as the tears escaping them. Doesn’t deserve the redness and the heart-wrecking sobs. She doesn’t deserve the way his heart clenches and breaks under the heaviness of his own feelings caused by her and even less does she deserve to come out clean of this.

I want to chase her. To hunt her down and become her very nightmare, to entirely wip her existence and memory from his life.

I could deal with pain. I was very used to dealing with emotional pain, to facing everything on my own, to standing my ground, to not asking for help until I already shake and break under the heaviness of it all. Until it’s too much. But I’m not good, unlike him. I don’t have a golden heart and hope has long ago become mellow and selective within me, as did my kindness, slowly but surely killed by force. I learned my lessons in order to survive in this cruel world. I didn’t want to be a burden on someone else’s shoulders, I refused to remain helpless and to depend on Taehyung or Jimin for everything. I simply wanted to be able to do it on my own.

Yet, Taehyung is not like me. His pain didn’t turn him cruel and didn’t make him become cold, just more selective, more reserved in ways that might not be obvious to the eye. He’s definitely more approachable than me and Jimin out of the three of us and definitely the type to want to help the most without much of a reason or anything to gain back.

No matter how much both I and Jimin tried to protect his soul, it was bound for some changes to happen. Changes are not always bad. That doesn’t mean I’ll let this bitch be the reason behind it without any business to solve, dirtily. When someone messes with one of my friends, they mess with me and I take this shit very seriously.

I can hear more than I can see Taehyung trying to blow his red nose in a tissue, Jimin’s arms wrapped around his wide shoulders. Jimin somehow has this talent of making Taehyung look tiny in his arms, even when realistically speaking it shouldn’t even be possible with the way they are built, but logic has never worked when it came to Jimin’s abilities and talents.

Maybe it’s my fault too. My fault for the way I didn’t put much thought nor care into who is the girl dating Taehyung as long as he is happy, for as long as she makes him smile. I didn’t care as long as she was beneficial for him, as long as it was something healthy they could both grow from and as long as I saw his smile.

Even more so, normally I wouldn’t try to intervene in this situation either. The reason isn’t that I don’t care about my best friend or something, far from that. I would go to prison for him without as much as a thought. But relationships aren’t easy and I know first hand both how petty arguments can arise, which is perfectly normal considering two people will inevitably have their disagreements and different views on different things, along with the fact that Taehyung, as much as I love him with my whole heart, is both terribly dramatic and stubborn.

Really, arguments are perfectly normal in a healthy relationship. You grow from them and the bond gets stronger. Without arguments, there would be no growth, no challenge, no nothing.

This is neither just a mere petty argument nor Taehyung being simply his dramatic self. This is not even the first time he’s crying his eyes out because of her either.

“It’s just…”

I can see the way he’s trying so hard to repress his sniffles. How puffy his eyes are. How red they are. How this truly breaks his soul. How he’s searching desperately for answers and I truly wish I could take that pain away from him. Wish I could be the one to suffer instead of him. Because I can deal with it, because I’m used to it. Yet, I can’t. I can’t take his pain away, I don’t have the answers he needs and I don’t have any idea what to say or do to soothe him. Comforting people has never been my forte. Not because I don’t want to, but I simply don’t know how to. Maybe I never needed it or I simply learnt to never expect it. Learnt that crying over something won’t solve it as much as I wish it would. That I have to take the matter into my own hands, pull myself together and deal with it. A problem won’t solve itself and as much as I have people that love me, they have their own lives and their own problems. Maybe it’s also the way I was raised, my mom strong and a model of never giving up, never wavering.

Or I simply refuse to be a weakling and adhere to the ridiculous stereotypes women are associated with and refuse to fit, to be complacent to these boxes many girls of this country had simply accepted being fit into as to fit the wanting gaze of ridiculous boys who would boast about being men and irreplaceable. How ridiculous.

This is not about me, though. It’s about Taehyung. Taehyung and his hirredous taste in girls.

“Just?” Jimin’s voice is so soft, like a mere whisper that could be carried away by the tiniest pale of wind, encouraging.

That’s it. I’m going to fucking break. The way Taehyung struggles to draw in intakes of air, to breath properly, to calm down. I’m going to entirely break because of his red puffy eyes, because of his lips bitten raw to the point I can see wounds from ripped skin and blood that has come to the surface, from the way he holds onto Jimin so tightly, as if he’d break if they stopped hugging, as if Jimin and his hugs were the one keeping his pieces still glued together.

“I just don’t understand why. What I did wrong? I’m truly doing my best. Is…is my best not enough?” his lips trembled as he spoke, I could tell from the way his words sounded, his voice sounded. So doubtful, as if there was wrong with him, as if…

No. I can’t. I can’t let that happen, I can’t let him believe those things, I can’t.

“She’s been so cold lately, I just- I don’t know. I feel like sex is the only thing she keeps me for around anymore. I’ve tried dates, I tried texting her to go to her place or her to come to mine for a movie, I got some flowers, chocolate…I don’t know what to do anymore!”

The guilt, the frustration, the overthinking. It’s not that he was not trying or that he was suffocating. Last time was about the last one mentioned and I had agreed with the girl that maybe he was a it too much for her, maybe he ws too clingy, maybe she just needed a bit of space, of independence, of her life outside their relationship. Reminded him it was healthy to go out with other people like friends, reminded him their lives don’t mean just their relationship and that being in a relationship definitely doesn’t mean everything revolves around the other. That they don’t have to spend all of their free time together and have different hobbies and interests and circles of friends, which is totally fine. Many times it’s better to have different circles of friends than to have a big, common circle of them, because things tend to get weird, awkward.

I felt like my world was crashing up. I never wanted him to ever feel this way, to feel like he’s not enough, like whatever he does things just won’t add up. I wished he’d never experience such things, wished he would have a healthy and happy relationship. Have someone to slowly grow up into more mature people with, have his perfect big family I simply knew he’s always wished for. I simply wished him the best, for his golden heart to be cherished to the real value it truly holds.

How she dare? How she fucking dare treat him like this, how she fucking dare basically all but destroy him?

“____, no, shit, get BACK!”

It feels like it’s ringing in the distance, like I’m underwater and Jimin’s voice is distrosionated to the point I can barely even hear it. I surely choose to ignore it, not caring for the urgency in his voice, for the panic in it, for the way his feet basically all but thud as I simply get the keys to my bike, ready to directly go after that girl, to pay her right back, to show her the shit she does actually has fucking consequences. I won’t let anyone escape after they’ve hurt my friends.

“How she dare? How she fucking dare?!”

Even my voice sounds like it’s not mine, my steps loud and harsh. I don’t even reach the stars before his fingers grasp at my shoulder and he’s tugging to turn me around.

“You’re not going anywhere, stay here”

It doesn’t help. No, the violence my blood craves, the payback, the way my fists ache to brusque her, scare her to remind her of her goddamn place and how feelings are not just a mere play. I don’t care what she does with anyone else, I don’t care about her morals, her lack of interest or whatever. Nobody hurts my friends and comes out well of it, not if I can help it.

His grip is tight, firm, but my eyes anger is greater.

“I’m going and you can’t fucking stop me” I grit through my teeth, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“You are not going, ____! Get that in your mind! That’s not what Taehyung needs right now!”

He’s not crowding me and yet he’s cornering me anyways. Staying close enough to not leave any opening for me to sleep yet not close enough to trigger a response from me. Because Jimin knows too well how fine the line is. Knows how my anger gets me, knows my technique, knows when to push and when to just let me be most of the time.

Because we’re friends and because, after all, he was the one who taught me how to actually fight, how to throw a punch.

“Then what am I even supposed to do Chim, huh?!” I can’t help but snap at him. “I’m not good at comforting people and I can’t just stay here and let her go on her merry way with her happy day when she literally-”

His fingers wrap around my wrists and stop me from my very expressive movements, simply holding them in place.

“Listen, I don’t like this either. If this helped with anything, I would have gladly ran after her with you myself. But it doesn’t solve anything, going after her. We both know all you need to do is just be here for Tae right now and nothing more. I’m angry too but again, this won’t help. So let the keys down and let’s go cuddle that idiot until he stops crying, okay?”

His voice was softer, more level headed even as frustrated puffs of air left him too, obviously trying to control it. He was better at it than me, than I could ever be, at controlling his anger.

The worst of them all is that he’s right. Even more, I could catch her later and give her a warning, scare her a bit to stay away and leave Tae alone. Yet, this moment I could never rewind, as frustrating as it is.

So I gave up, sighing and trying to take in deep breaths and swallow down the urge to have my bare hands smashing something, my fingers curling and relaxing repeatedly.

“Good. Come when you’re okay. Drink some water in the meantime. I’ll go back to him”

It’s truly annoying how good he is at that sometimes. At keeping me level headed, at forcing me to gather myself. It’s also very useful. To have someone who just understands when you need a rougher approach, to be shaken a bit.

The glass of water calms down my nerves a bit. It’s cold, satisfying. Sadly, it doesn’t wash away my guilt as I gulp it in the kitchen downstairs while Jimin is upstairs comforting Taehyung. Honestly, he’s a better friend than me sometimes, as much as it hurts. He’s simply good at reading people and understanding what they need. It leaves a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, to realize I fucked it up again in some way. To realize that yet again I simply couldn’t do the proper thing when Taehyung needed me the most.

With a heavy heart I leave the glass in the sink and simply go upstairs with dragged feet, hoping for the best. Later might be better than not at all.

Hewoo, darlings! So, a lot of things happened lately but hey the chapter is done! So, um, yeah

I don't know what to say

See ya next time and take care, asks are open for literally anything, from venting to asking characters to photos. Literally anything 🥰

Tagging: @parkdatjimin @pamzn

#kim taehyung #taehyung fic #taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfic

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xdxaxnx1 · 5 years ago

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X1 fanfiction "Of Chaos, Magic & Kisses" is now online! Check it out if you want! 🦋💙

! WEEKLY UPDATE !

____

Characters: X1 & Top 20 of Produce X 101

Tags: #fluff #romance #hogwarts au #boyslove #humour #longshot #magic #produce family #school life

Summary:

As life as wizards goes on and stories intertwine, chaos becomes inavoidable. They all have their own history, their own present and future, and at the same time they are connected. Like a red string their connection winds through their stories as all of them set out to find out who they are.

Some may find it, some are still searching, some have already reached their goal. But as they grow as people, their stories grow with them.

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tea-with-nosugar · 4 years ago

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Minhee terdiam. Begitu pula gadis yang berada di sampingnya. Sambil menyeruput soda dingin yang dari tadi ia pegang dan menikmati angin malam yang meniup rambut cokelat panjangnya. Minhee memandangu gadis itu sampai lupa susu cokelat yang ia pegang sejak tadi.

"Kenapa, Minhee?" tanya gadis itu, menoleh dan membalas tatapannya. "Susu kamu tuh kasian. Gak diabisin. Mending buat aku."

"Kak Nancy mau?" tawarnya sambil menyodorkan susu kotaknya. Nancy tertawa.

"Gak usah! Aku cuma bercanda, kok. Minum gih." jawabnya sambil tersenyum. Demi apapun, Minhee tidak akan pernah bosan melihat senyum ini di hidupnya. Dilihatnya Nancy terdiam.

"Kak Nancy."

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Maksudnya?" tanya Nancy sembari menaikkan satu alisnya.

"Bang Hyunjin."

Nancy terdiam. Senyumnya memudar. Ia menghela napas panjang. Dengan ekspresi ini, Minhee tahu bahwa gadis yang ada di hadapannya sedang tidak baik-baik saja.

"Shuhua ya?" tanya Nancy, suaranya lebih pelan dari sebelumnya. Minhee terdiam. Jujur, Ia sangat takut menanyakan hal ini. Bahkan menyebut nama seseorang yang seharusnya tidak disebut pada malam inipun memberi pria itu penyesalan. Tapi setidaknya, Minhee harus memastikan keadaannya.

"Aku gak apa-apa, Minhee." gadis itu menunduk. Kembali terdiam. Minhee mendekatkan tubuhnya dan mengangkat dagu si gadis bermata cokelat terang itu. Wajahnya bergetar. Matanya menandakan sebaliknya. Ada kesedihan yang terpatri di bola matanya.

"Kak, aku minta maaf. Aku gak bermaksud bikin kakak begini."

"Gak apa-apa. Aku udah gak-" belum selesai gadis itu berbicara, Minhee mendekapnya erat. Gadis itu membalas pelukannya lebih erat. Tangisannya pecah. Minhee tau akan begini. Gadis itu menangis menahan sesak. Tangisnya tidak bersuara, tapi air mata jelas mengalir deras. Tangan kanannya mengusap rambut Nancy dengan lembut, sedangkan tangan kirinya mengusap punggung gadis itu yang naik-turun.

"I know you are not." bisik Minhee pelan, tetapi terdengar jelas di telinga Nancy. "But I want you to know that my love to you will always be soft and warm and kind. No matter what’s going on in the world around you, I will always be your safe place."

Ya, bahkan selama hampir dua tahun gadis itu berkencan dengan lelaki berambut pirang itu, tidak pernah sedetikpun Minhee berhenti mencintainya.

#nancy #minhee #nancy momoland #minhee cravity #fanfiction

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angelic-jeonghan1004 · 3 years ago

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[7:44 PM]

Found out the Cravity writing scene has been dry (same with all my other ults) so I'm gonna write some small pieces and some actual fics for Cravity and my other favorites just to keep the fandoms afloat, I'll try to write atleast one new thing a week! Also if you'd like to request anything honestly go for it, fanfictions are for people to consume and enjoy and I want fandoms who haven't had much to read have something!

Pairing: Minhee x reader

Genre: fluff, crack, angst if you squint

Warnings: mentions of food

♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧* ♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧*♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧* ♡๑⌓✿ ◍♡

[7:44 PM]

Minhee couldn't stop playing Cookie Run, it was okay at first you just cuddled into his side and sort of paid attention sort of not, but you soon became bored. You wanted to interact with him, have his attention. But his goal to get licorice cookie was too strong. So you decided to do what any deprived s/o would do: give him a kiss then interact with Seongmin and call him cute. Minhee never minds you being friends with his members he encourages you even, but he draws the line when you start to compliment the maknae line. He doesn't get heavily upset by it that it'd be rude of you to do so or anything. He just prefers for you to give compliments to him and your soft spot for the maknae line always makes him a little self conscious wondering if the love would ever become unbalanced.

"Seongmin my favorite cutie boy what are you up to?" You asked Seongmin who was on the other side of the room. He notably scoffed at the babying but he immediately went into conversation with you.

This definitely peaked Minhee's attention since after he heard you call Seongmin cute he knew he had to keep listening. You had a normal conversation, but he just felt sorta awkward; since he knew you know he's not the biggest fan of you complimenting the maknae line too much. So he knew something must've had to go wrong somewhere. He thought into what could've cost this and then he checked the time: 7:44 PM. You got to the dorms at 2 PM, he's been playing Cookie Run since. He started to feel bad realizing he's neglected you for so long by pure accident. Subtly asking for your attention he planted his head on your shoulder, you understood what that meant immediately and ended convo with Seongmin shortly after. Turning to him to kiss his cheek you giggled.

"So you finally got the message?"

"I'm sorry,, forgive me?"

"How could I not"

#cravity fluff #cravity imagines #cravity x reader #hyeongjun imagines #jungmo imagines #minhee imagines #seongmin imagines #serim imagines #taeyoung imagines #allen imagines #wonjin imagines #woobin imagines #cravity reactions #Cravity

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1dfanfics-nanana · 5 years ago

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[WIP] (1) New Message (Minhee/Yunseong) (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/SdqCJcSvC1 After a mysterious app appeared in his phone, Yunseong starts talking to a boy online: Minhee. This is bassed on a ff/book. Most things are different.

#hwangmini #hwang yunseong #kang minhee #fanfiction #wattpad #oops lol

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colorfuleclipse · 2 years ago

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⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 𝘶𝘯𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴

genre; neighbor!minhee to lovers

word count; almost 1k

warning; one swear word lol

to say the least, today was a LONG day, your boss yelled at you and you dropped your paperwork all over the floor and the elevator was broken so you had to take the stairs and blah blah blah. to sum up the day; shit. all you longed for was to go home and take a warm shower and eat a nice dinner and read a relaxing book, but before that you had to make a stop at the store.

finally having reached the floor your apartment was on, you fumbled as you had a drink in your hand and bags lacing your arms, you couldn’t find your key and when you managed to do so your bag ripped and all your groceries fell onto the floor. great. you sighed, practically on the verge of tears and ready to slam your head into a wall.

“do you need help?”

you look to your side and find your neighbor, minhee, already picking up the cans rolling around, you make eye contact for a split second and take in his appearance. in a navy short sleeved shirt and jeans with his soft black hair down he gave you a nice smile and you surprised yourself by thinking of how sweet he looks.

you and minhee aren’t really friends, you speak to each other once in a while but aren’t exactly familiar with each other. In a hurry you thank him and open your door for him, you guide him to the kitchen as you set the bags down and thank him once again. he asks where to put the cans and you find him helping you put away your groceries.

the silence is nice and you realize you enjoy his company, you smile thinking of how you could get used to having him around. you try to figure out a way to get him to stay just a little while longer, you feel like the more you’re around him the more you want to get to know him.

“if you don’t mind, you’re welcome to stay for dinner.” you say

you look over and he has a light look of surprise, realizing what you just suggested you stumble and stutter over your words to explain yourself.

“as a thank you-i didn’t mean to make it sound weird-you can always say no i wouldn��t be hurt-oh um even if i was though it’s fine i understand if you have somewhere to be-”

you’re interrupted by his laughter and you look over taking note of his blinding smile.

“i don’t mind at all, as long as i can help you cook. if that’s alright.”

you were more than happy to have the help, cooking dinner together was like talking with an old friend. despite not having known each other for long you felt comfortable with him, somehow his unique voice and sweet scent made you calm and you couldn’t help but wish for more.

you find yourself feeling sleepy stirring the soup but your senses snap you back into reality when a warm hand covers your own, another on the side of your waist and you realize that minhee is standing right at your back leaning over your shoulder.

“if you’re tired i can stir the soup, you can go sit at the table”

you decline his offer, partly because you can’t escape with him right behind you and partly because you don’t want to escape. you take in his body heat and warm breath against your neck, with him beside you like this you feel like your day has been made.

once the soup was done you had dinner together, at first it was just friendly conversation but you soon became open and silly around him feeling like he wouldn’t mind it. once you finished eating you cleaned the dishes and minhee helped you to put away the things you cooked with. finally you sent minhee out of your apartment and turned around with a big smile on your face, you began walking to the bedroom to get ready for sleep when you heard a knock on the door. as you opened it you were greeted with minhee lightly smiling at you.

“sorry if this is sudden but i wanted to get your number, and maybe have a date sometime soon?”

#cravity #cravity x reader #cravity fluff #cravity fanfiction #minhee x reader #kang minhee #minhee fluff #kang minhee fluff #kang minhee x reader #🌊

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btswritingcafe · 4 years ago

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the daily grind | specials.

welcome to btswritingcafe’s monthly special highlighting our members by diving into their world of fanfiction. we want to discuss your passions and interests as you work through a fic, showing our readers the behind the scenes grind.

our hope is for all of you to take the time to read what each writer faces when it comes to tackling a new fic. we hope that you can see their excitement as they share. please know that every writer is always excited to share what they do for each story. thank you all for the support!

meet the two writers featured for this weeks issue. make sure to read below the cut to see all the amazing responses from ish and minhee!

♡ — @se0kie | ish

♡ — @cheonjae-min | minhee

BEHIND THE SCENES WITH: @se0kie

lost in the sea foam, kth [pt.4] | f, a

⟶ it’s difficult being a god. what with all the immortality, the decades bleeding into each other and losing every human being you come to care about. and taehyung’s lived, or whatever it is gods do, for a very, very long time. he thinks he needs help but the fates are being the mysterious, useless hags they’ve always been. they think the solution lives in jeju at the blue side marine conservation. turns out Y/N is the only mortal he’s met who’s ready to challenge him head on. of course it’s not like she knows her new intern is king of the sea, maker of horses, the earthshaker, poseidon himself after all.

GET TO KNOW ISH AS A WRITER

♡ — what inspired you to write this fic?

well to be honest the whole series started off from this random scene i thought of while just causally daydreaming. it’s the smut scene that’s all i’ll say but the idea popped up from this clear underwater image of loads of colourful shoals of fish swimming and bright coral reefs and wondering if coral reefs are soft enough to do the sexy on. that was the first hit of inspiration and then i was re reading a greek myth book from my childhood so i ran with the idea of modern poseidon taehyung and a marine biologist reader

♡ — how long does it usually take you to write a fic?

it takes longer for me to actually gather up energy to start writing otherwise once i’m in the rhythm a fic will finish in like a day if i’m lucky and maybe a week or two if i’m being lazy

♡ — what was your favorite scene to write and why?

my favourite scene has got to be the one where tae leads the group of turtles back to shore and notices how happy and overwhelmed the oc is

♡ — what excites you about writing in general?

it’s always been amazing to me how i could put together a string of words and other people who read it would feel those emotions. i’m always trying to say something through my writing, even if i don’t entirely know what i believe i write what i’m meant to write. just the thought of putting out a story into the world gets me through it all and whenever i feel an intense emotion or think of a particular scene i’m always excited about putting it down as words.

♡ — what do you usually write first in a fic (from the beginning, major events you have in mind, dialogue…etc).

it may sound super old fashioned but i can only write in chronological order. i can’t write a certain part and leave it be unless i’m like crazy inspired and the words just flow i prefer writing a fic top to bottom. so yeah i write everything from the beginning and just see how it goes from there

♡ — did you listen to any music while writing this fic?

i didn’t listen to any music but i recommend listening to mariposa by peach tree rascals for this chapter

♡ — is there anything you find particularly difficult when it comes to writing?

i have a bad habit of repeating the same words and using complicated sentence structure so i really have to remind myself to take it easy all the time. but otherwise the biggest obstacle for me is overcoming the procrastination and actually getting up and writing.

♡ — what helps you to get out of writers block?

i don’t really force myself out of writer’s block, i always draw the outline for every fic at the beginning and everytime i write a little portion i get to strike it through and that kinda helps. but i go weeks and weeks without writing anything and once i feel guilty enough to break out of the cycle i write a few paragraphs and then hopefully the burst of energy follows through :)

♡ — what do you believe is your strengths as a writer?

i don’t really think very highly of myself as a writer but i feel like my writing is pretty approachable. i don’t make things complicated and i just let the words flow so i think it’s easy to read

♡ — what do you want people to specifically notice in this fic?

i have never had as much fun with writing as i have with this series!! i really love how this story is going and i’m having such a good time writing it i just want the readers to feel it too. i want them to lay back and just have a laugh or two and relax with this one :)

We love to see all the content that you create! This series surely is amazing. Thank you for all you do, Ish!

BEHIND THE SCENES WITH: @cheonjae-min

secret, myg | f, h

⟶ “i’ll meet you halfway.” and “there’s enough room for the both of us.”

GET TO KNOW MINHEE AS A WRITER

♡ — what inspired you to write this fic?

It’s pretty funny! Y/n in ‘secret’ actually had a similar experience to myself in real life! It was at the concert last year. If you’ve been to a concert at Metlife, you’d know how crazy it could be while leaving so my friend and I were looking for our ride at the back where there’s a big lot! There were a bunch of people, and then screams, and black vans leaving the venue. Later on during Jungkook’s GCF, I realized it was them! Lol

♡ — how long does it usually take you to write a fic?

On a good day, a few hours. If it’s an idea that I see has some potential in, I’d rest on it which could take up to a couple of weeks. This is the result of my tendency to overthink ㅜ_ㅜ

♡ — what was your favorite scene to write and why?

My favorite scene was the one where the reader and yoongi meet! I really wanted to play a little bit with their dynamic. I wanted the perception of Yoongi to come out as the opposite of what we would typically see in other stories and in real life.

♡ — what excites you about writing in general?

The spontaneity of it! Writing is easy when you just start jotting down your ideas, seeing some sort of flow. If you think about something too much, the outcome probably won’t come out as good. Ironic how this is coming from the self-proclaimed overthinker, right?

♡ — what do you usually write first in a fic (from the beginning, major events you have in mind, dialogue…etc).

The first thing I write are the major events, and the general concept I have in mind [who, what, where, when’s, etc.]. After outlining the major parts, I start from the beginning and fill in the holes I listed as the major events. Kind of backwards, but it works.

♡ — did you listen to any music while writing this fic?

I have not.

♡ — is there anything you find particularly difficult when it comes to writing?

Pace. When i posted ‘secret’ I wasn’t too thrilled about it to be honest, but at the end I thought of it as just another practice piece. This is why I find outlining most important nowadays, so that I could have a better idea of the length and pace of the story >//<

♡ — what helps you to get out of writers block?

Rest. I think resting is important by occupying yourself with other things, especially if you’re a writer.

♡ — what do you believe is your strengths as a writer?

My strengths as a writer, I feel as though I don’t have too many yet and that I’m still lacking in some areas. There’s no specific strength I can think of because I think I still have space for improvement >//<

♡ — what do you want people to specifically notice in this fic?

I want people to realize something that probably seems cliche. I want them to take this an example that people aren’t always what they seem. The reader perceives yoongi to be “aloof” or as someone who sees him higher than anyone else just because he’s an idol. This is what I took out of it.

We are thankful for all of your effort and hard work for all that you do! You are amazing, Minhee!

member of the cafe and want to be featured on our upcoming features? read this post here!

#daily;grind #monthly;specials #daily;third #the daily bangtan grind #network post

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lviolett · 6 years ago

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Keeper - Chen Mafia Au

Keeper

Type: A Chen Fanfiction / Exo fanfiction

Genre: Mafia AU/ Angst/ Action/Romance

Pairing: Chen x OC | Jongdae x OC

OC - Kwang Minhee

Warning: Violence, Possible NSFW content

A/N: Since posts with links don’t appear on search (wth tumblr?) I have tagged each chapter with #chen keeper, so to find previous or next chapters, click on the tag to read them, thank you :)

Sypnosis: Taken by one of the biggest Korean mafias, Kwang Minhee tries her hardest to adapt to her new life. Under the watchful gaze of her capturer Chen, there is no way out. Soon enough, however, she becomes a target of a series of attacks before Chen takes it upon himself to protect her. With enemies and allies all around her and shocking revelations of her past, Minhee struggles to keep herself sane and not fall for her keeper..

Chapter 1

She waited with bated breath in the dark, dingy basement as she tried to understand what was going on upstairs. She tried to crawl on her knees closer towards the door, only to stumble backwards. She felt the harsh tug of the rope tying her legs and hands as she struggled to steady herself, her breath coming out in short gasps, voice muffled by the handkerchief tied around her mouth. It hurt. Her entire body had been whipped and gashes have appeared here and there, with her dress shredded at some places and red speckles of blood had stained them. Tears escaped her eyes. She didn't know what was happening and she was scared.

Kwan Minhee had been an orphan at the young age of 5, witnessing from under the bed as her parents took their last breath when a riot broke out in the poor neighbourhood she was living in. Since then, she had been living in orphanages. While the first home was nice, they couldn't financially afford to have her after they gave birth to their own child. So she landed back in an orphanage before being fostered here. This particular house had been fostering her for about 6 years, and it was an absolute nightmare.

Every night her foster parents would come back from a night of gambling while drunkenly bickering between themselves, throwing insults at it each other. Eventually, their insults would escalate quickly to a screaming match and end with the wife throwing and trashing furniture and decorations all over the place and her having to clean it.

Then the wife would lock the husband out of their room, and the husband would then beat the shit out of Minhee as a way to vent his frustration on the world. It had gone to the point where makeup won't cover up her bruises and her clothes all dirty from constant use to hide her body. It wasn't like this at first, just a little scold here and there before it turned to full-on abuse as the years went by and their relationship kept degrading.

Today, however, the case was different. It seems that they had brought home guests from their gambling session, men wearing black clothes and black sunglasses at 2 am in the morning really confused Minhee.

When she had peeked from her room, her foster father had taken her in the basement in a hurry before tying her already beaten up body and throwing in a few more whips of his belt.

Apparently, that was her punishment for peeking.

As she sat there, all of a sudden she heard the voices from upstairs getting louder and she realized they were coming downstairs.

She tried to stay hidden as best as she could in the basement, not making a sound.

"I gave you a long ass time for you to repay me! Where the fuck is it?!"

It was an unfamiliar voice and she shivered at the authority and strength the voice held.

"Just a bit more time ple-" she heard her foster mother say before the voice harshly interrupted her.

"Oh, so that you can gamble away your entire fortune and hide? I'm not having that."

There was a pause for a moment before she heard a clicking sound, a sound she knew to be that of a gun and she felt fear grip her heart.

'Oh please not again!' she thought to herself.

The memory of her parents' death flashed before her eyes and she squeezed them shut, trying to forget it.

She heard the shout of her foster father as he stuttered to say something comprehensible.

"Shut it!" The man roared.

"I-I have something to o-offer you in exchange of a bi-bit more time, please" she heard the voice of her foster father.

She heard the man sigh before he asked, "What is it?"

Then she heard footsteps down the short flight of stairs to the opening of the basement and she immediately struggled to back up towards the pillar she was tied to.

The door opened to reveal her foster father in a nasty state, a bruised eye and bleeding lips along with a torn shirt.

Before Minhee could register what was happening, she felt the ropes on her feet giving away and he grabbed her by her hair to pull her up to her feet. She cried in pain, the sound of it muffled by the handkerchief still around her mouth. She realized her hands were still tied when he took her up the stairs.

When she reached the landing, he nudged her from the back so hard, she stumbled forward and landed on her knees, sliding halfway through the floor as her bruised skin stung from the friction. Her vision was blinded by the sudden brightness in the living room when she heard her foster mother speak,

"We offer you this girl in exchange for a bit of time, pl-please! Take her! You can do anything you want with her."

As her eyes adjusted to the light, a man wearing all black stood before her. She looked up and into the eyes of a man with a strong jawline and high cheekbones with a soft set of lips.

His eyes were cold and hard on her and she couldn't help but look down again, feeling like his gaze was burning a hole through her head.

For a while, everything was quiet. Minhee didn't understand how to feel about her situation. Her parents were offering her up to a bunch of strange men with guns, and she didn't know if she was going to be better off or worse.

She didn't understand how anything could be worse than how she was now, living like this was poisoning her will to live entirely.

She heard the man speak and his harsh tone made her flinch.

"Who is this girl?"

Her mother answered in a small voice, "Our foster daughter. You can have her! She'll serve you well! Wouldn't you?!" and she kicked her back, making her yelp out muffled protest as she fell forward on her stomach.

"Huh." She heard him paused as a deep chuckle escaped him, "Did you take me for a fool?" he said before she heard the click of a gun and her foster parents started begging on their knees, stumbling out apologies and protests.

She wanted to shut her ears out, she couldn't bear to listen to this.

She scrunched her eyes shut as soon as she heard him pull on the trigger and her whole body shook as she heard the gunshot ring, twice and it all got quiet, or so she felt, she couldn't tell.

She didn't know how long she sat there, struggling to breathe, her eyes scrunched shut as she tried to avoid seeing what had occurred.

They were horrible parents but they were what she considered as her only living relative.

Tears escaped her closed eyes and she tried to control her sobs when she felt someone grab her arm and pulling her up. Minhee opened her eyes and came face to face to the man who shot her parents and she felt a deep disgust stir in the pit of her stomach.

His face gave away no emotion as he slowly looked her up and down before tilting his head, as if wondering something before he spoke, "What's your name?"

She couldn't help but flinch at his harsh tone before choking out a whisper, her entire body shaking in fear as she tried to keep your anxiety down, "Mi-Minhee.."

He just looked her up and down one more time before he called out to one of the men standing behind him, "Put her in the car, we're taking her."

She looked up at him at this and saw him turn his back to her as he donned his sunglasses again.

Then two men held her by her shoulders as they pushed her out of the house. As she turned a corner, she saw the bodies of her foster parents, lying about on the floor as a pool of blood formed around them. She gasped in shock and shrieked in terror, her body losing all strength as her knees gave out and she would have fallen had it not been the two men holding her out.

The man, her capturer, who was walking in front of her turned around in alarm at the sound of her voice.

The last thing she saw was him striding in her direction before darkness clouded her vision and she passed out.

A/N: So this is idea has been in my head for a while now. I figured, “Hey you know what we don’t have enough of? MAfia au!” cause I finished reading all of them like 5 times and I just decided to write one ._. Anyways I hope you enjoy the series, it’s the first time I am writing in 3rd person and I’m hoping I can do good. :)

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jaexbeoms · 8 years ago

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Sunshine, Snow and Thunder: A Got7 Fanfiction (Chapter 9)

Chapter 9

Previous Chapter: Chapter 8

Pairings: OC/Jackson, OC/Youngjae, OC/Jaebum

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 5,001

Summary: This fanfiction follows three original characters (Lilly, Eva and Maria) who share a love for books, dogs and the unexpected. When a turn of events leads to them meeting GOT7, what follows is a whirlwind of confusing emotions, everlasting memories, and new experiences.

Also posted on Asian Fanfics

Maria

"Maria! Your phone keeps going off!" Lilly called from the living room. With the half eaten sandwich hanging from my mouth and a glass of cola I made my way over to her, taking my phone from the coffee table. I unlocked it, tapping on the screen to open the first notification that popped up.

My eyes widened at the topic of the article, and choked on the cola I was having.

"Hey, what happened?!" Lilly exclaimed, surprised. Eva came out of her room at the same time.

I was silent as I showed them the article. The headline in itself was enough to shock them there and then.

"JACKSON WANG CAUGHT OUT ON A DATE" it said.

Following it were a bunch of pictures of me and Jackson at lunch a few days ago. My eyes widened at the rapid increase in my followers on both instagram and Twitter. Lilly was reading over the article quietly, with a frown on her face. Even my SNS was exploding with pictures of Mark, Jackson and some even of BamBam and I. Scrolling up, the only thing I saw was pictures or screenshots of articles about the AmeriThaiKong and I, more pictures and some hate messages. Pulling up the contacts, I called the only person I could think of, Park Jinyoung.

"Hello?" He picked up and sounded out of breath.

"Jinyoung-ah! Have you been on the internet? Instagram, twitter, SNS, Facebook? Anywhere? I can't believe it would happen so quickly, I mean we were barely out together what with your schedule and practices and whatnot," I began to ramble, panicked, "Oh my god what am I gonna do? I can't believe this is actually happening. It's like a badly written fan fiction come true! Oh my God, I don't even--"

"MinHee-ah, calm down," Jinyoung said suddenly and I halted, "Wh even happened?"

"Ask Mark to go on SNS." I bit my lip as he spoke to Mark off the phone. A few seconds passed and Jackson's voice shouted, "Holy--!"

"Yeah..." I slumped down on the couch, "what are we gonna do?"

"Don't worry. We'll talk to our manager. Nothing is going to happen." He assured and Eva rubbed my back.

"But Jinyoung," I whined and heard a shuffle.

"It will be okay MinHee. Just take deep breaths... and manager-nim says not to reply or take anything to heart." Jaebum suddenly told me.

"Okay," I sighed. Maybe this is the universe's revenge for trying to set Youngjae and Lilly up all stupidly.

"Let me talk to Eva." I gave my phone to Eva and she gave me a smile before walking to the kitchen.

I tried my best to forget about the whole incident for a while.

As I was settled into my bed and reading a novel, my phone began ringing. I placed the bookmark in place accepting the face time call. Jackson's face came up and I smiled.

"Hey." I greeted sliding down to lay on my side while keeping the phone upright on the pillow.

"Hey. You okay?" Jackson asked in English, he was laying on what I assumed was his bed on his stomach wearing a tank top.

"Yeah. Everything just caught me so off guard," I replied in the same language, most of our conversions were in English as he had also deemed his and Mark's room an 'Only English Zone'.

"You don't look too great."

"I'm just tired Jaier. I've been rehearsing for an upcoming play." I answered rubbing my eye.

"You'll do great!" Came Mark's voice from somewhere in the room.

"Excuse my noisy roommate." He rolled his eyes and plugged in earphones. I laughed. He moved the phone to show Mark reading on his bunk below Jackson's. The guy gave me a thumbs up before Jackson pulled the phone back up.

"So our manager asked us to tell you guys to not stress over anything. Just ignore anyone who sends you any messages or tags you in anymore pictures, it's just petty issues, yeah?"

"I know it was bound to happen at some point but it all just happened so quickly, " I explained hurriedly, "There are so many weird tweets and pictures going around... people making so many pathetic assumptions and it's just... it's very exhausting and kinda annoying too."

Jackson was trying his best to make me get over the stress by laughing, joking around and not even talking about the situation further, so I figured I should try to uplift the mood a bit too.

"I learnt this new dish. And I would like the famous Wang Jaier who MCs countless Chinese food shows to tell me if it's any good."

"Maybe later. I'd much rather compliment how absolutely stunning you look in those new glasses."

My face immediately got hot and scrunched my eyes at him.

"Stop it!" I laughed, pulling off my glasses.

"It's getting late. I'll let you sleep now, we have practice in like an hour so I am going to catch some shut eye."

"Good night Jaier."

"Good night, and don't forget to watch us in the morning, live."

"I won't; 9:00 A.M, yeah?"

"Yup. I'm gonna go now."

"Bye." He made a kissy face at the camera before hanging up. I shuffled down in my covers and turned off the lamp.

I was munching on my toast when the boys morning live interview came on. Lilly was at one of her classes and Eva was still passed out.

I turned up the volume a bit. They did their greeting and I took a moment to look at their clothing, they were all in sweaters, jeans and boots. They did a short promotion for their album, "Flight Log: Departure" and introduced a few songs before the channel went to commercial.

They came back on and their single, Fly was playing in the background before fading away. The cameras turned to the MCs.

"I'm sure everyone is really excited to know about this... Jackson," the idol in question leaned forward, "there have been quite a few rumors and talks flying around recently, what everyone is calling it is a scandal," I paled when a picture of the three foreigners and I was pulled up. "So would you like to put an end to all the rumors going around?" Jackson clamped a hand down on Mark's shoulder and I bit my lip.

"I don't see what the fuss is all about. Can't we hang out with some of our friends on a free day? The public sees us with a friend, that by no means is a reason to assume that it's a relationship. MinHee and I grew up together, and I would rather everyone believe that she's a really good friend." Mark answered, cutting to the chase and allowing no further misunderstandings.

With that, I sighed and the MC seemed to think it sufficient enough to move on. Turning the T.V. off once the interview was finished, I let out a loud breath before getting up to get ready for my first class of the day.

I had just bought a coffee for myself and it was almost two in the afternoon when my phone lit up showing a new voice message.

"So, Manager-hyung talked to some people and they said its better if we keep out of public eye for a while, until everything settles down at least. We're gonna go on a tour to Japan and China, and hopefully by that time everything will have settled down. I'm letting you know to not cause any more misunderstandings or strain in our relationship, right? I guess you're in class. Call me when you can."

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daegulinekush · 2 years ago

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The death of peace of mind

~a Kim Taehyung fanfiction

Chapter 3: ★ Please, dance with me in the dark ★

Contains: references to bullying, balkan!oc, violence (talk), a bit of angst because of intrusive thoughts?, general fluff, smoking and mentions of drinking

It would be peculiar for anyone who doesn’t know us, probably, this very moment happening right now. In truth, it’s just a typical, random day, with bursts of energy and simply good vibes.

I can feel the slight coldness of the wooden floor under my feet right through my socks and it’s comforting, sought even. It contrasts with the rising temperature of my body and the one of his.

“C’mon, don’t fall behind!” I can hear his soft whine, the slight stomp of his feet. I can even see the way his hair slightly bounces, left a bit longer now that we’re more or less officially students at the top University in South Korea, no teachers to scold us for supposedly improper style anymore.

He’s tugging my body, which results in quite the weird movements, and even if I don’t see my other, less cute, more annoying friend as mine and Taehyung’s ankles bump together slightly, I know Jimin is basically thrown all over the couch laughing his heart out. It’s impossible to not hear it.

“Stop laughing, you idiot!” I snap at Jimin, even going as far as to glare at him, but we all know it’s shallow and empty. “Get here instead of laughing at me. Dance with your soulmate!”

I almost tumble with the way Taehyung accidentally pulls me a bit too harshly with the way he bursts out laughing, and with a more or less fond sigh, I basically all but drop to the floor, relishing dramatically in the soothing coldness and a moment of relative peace, flaring my limbs just to end up looking like a starfish.

It’s incredibly normal for me and Taehyung to randomly start dancing and singing in the middle of the living room. Just as normal as it is for Jimin to randomly hang out at our home and just as normal as this fit of laughter.

When five people live together in a house, the idea of silence sounds weird and unusual, scary even. Not like I’d ever complain about such an aspect. On the contrary, the added patterns of feet and the curious eyes looking at us and trying so hard not to burst out laughing too will always make me terribly fond.

I know Minhee and Seojun are having fun right now watching the chaos our trio is. They always whisper between one another about how it’s fun to see us messing around. Minhee is fourteen, younger with four years than us, merely about to enter highschool, while Seojun is just ten, still a child, and with an intense pleasure of calling especially me embarrassing as if I wasn’t the one he came to when he didn’t know something but wouldn’t want to admit to neither member of his family with the excuse that ‘Taehyungie-hyung is too cool to make a fool of myself and Minhee is mean’, along with mom having his ass for being a liar.

Minhee, on the other side, is trying to at least hide sheepishly her chuckles behind her hands, unlike her loud and very expressive younger brother, closer and closer to me the more she grows. It makes sense, considering she’s just entered teenage hood and that no matter how close you are to your siblings, like she is with Tae, he’s still a man and of course she’s gonna be more comfortable talking with me rather than with him, whom she already complains about being too protective of her, which I honestly can’t disagree with, and as sweet as her mom is, it’s not that easy talking with your mom without being embarassed.

All I wish is that she won’t make the same mistakes I did during my teenage years. Thinking back to it and all of the mess, it could have been way worse, definitely, but that didn’t mean I was willing to let her be as stupid as I had been at the time. More so, Taehyung and Jimin were by my side and got me out of a lot of things I should have definitely not done but I did anyways no matter how much they bugged me. But her? I’m not sure if she has friends she can trust as much as I had and still do. It’s a scary thought, truly, the possibility of her being in danger and not saying absolutely anything regarding it, preferring to hide it. I’d much rather have her calling me at weird hours to pick her up from situatons and places she should definitely not be in than risk anything actually happening to her. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.

For Taehyung, she might still be a child, but I remember very well how much of a menace I used to be when I was her age. I’m not very sure if her poor mom would be able to get through all of this again in the first place. I’m still very surprised she hasn’t grown white hairs from how much trouble both me and Taehyung used to be.

Not like we aren’t trouble now too, far from that. The difference is that now we got a bit past the naivety of fourteen and are actual adults with drivers’ licence and everything, along with having to be responsible for our own doings. More specifically, we simply learnt to cheat the system and deal with stuff in ways that won’t constrict our freedom.

Jimin finally decided to spare me some mercy and raise his juicy ass from the sofa instead of letting me be the only one sweating - it’s already late summer and a ton of parties we’ve gone through, so my energy is inevitably quite drained.

Annoyingly, he’s also more gracious because of course he is with his contemporary dance and core strength. Also, they’re soulmates, like it or not, they’ll always fit like the pieces of a puzzle.

I raise myself from the ground I was just sprawled upon, moving with wide steps towards the kitchen, towards the counter, grabbing the ashtray and the pack of cigarettes along with a lighter, lighting up one of the cigarettes. Grabbing a high chair, I pull it better towards me and raise myself on it as to not stay on my feet while smoking and also to reach the wide opened window easier. Realistically speaking, the room will still stink a bit of the smoke as the kitchen was connected to the livingroom, but it’s summer and the breeze is good enough for all the windows to be wide open, along with the sliding door of the small balcony. The honks of the cars outside were loud, many people coming and going to other parts of South Korea. I knew very well Taehyung was not from Seoul but from somewhere close to Daegu. Jimin wasn’t raised in the capital city either, but in Busan, always talking my ear off about the sea in Busan and the beach it had. Unlike them, I was raised in the Eastern part of Europe, in the Balkans, with so many different elements and such different culture that it was crazy even.

In a house of so many people, it’s impossible to get bored, just as impossible as to not hear laughter, which was now coloring the air of the slowly lowering sun in summer, finally making the air feel less heavy.

Mom was washing dishes as we had recently eaten and wringing some kitchen towels. Minhee and Seojun has somehow gotten themselves into the mess of dancing too, now copying some k-pop group I recognized vaguely, more for the song that was popular than for the group itself. I was sure at some point those boys will end up chaotically chasing each other and play fighting.

With my elbows more supported on the edge of the counter than anything else, I couldn’t help but just look at them, admiring silently, observing from my corner, trying to memorize this moment. It’s something I try hard to get over, a thought that keeps popping up from time to time and I struggle to tone down, to shove so far back that I would anihilate it, that full feeling of warmth and happiness, yet with such a sour and empty ache of heart that this will pass, that everything passes, actually, that this might be the last time when I get to be so happy, when we all get to be so happy and foolish and not worry about anything. I can’t tell wether it’s because of the bile raising feeling of growing up and becoming an actual adult with responsibilities biting your ass or it’s something else, more worrisome. I would rather not delve into it either. Some questions are better left unanswered, plain and simple.

It’s weird, in a way. To live with people that aren’t truly your family and yet they feel as such. I’m not saying this as they are not my blood. It’s deeper than that. It’s not even like in the case of a child being adopted; no, in such a case, the child would be part of the family, would belong, would be raised by the same parent or parents, would have siblings. That’s the weirdest thing because I cannot say such a thing about my situation, even as Taehyung’s mom is my legal guardian, even as I have never felt like I was putting weight on her shoulders, even as nobody had ever made me feel like I don’t belong in there. I always knew this is my home too. I also knew Taehyung’s mother, whom I sometimes genuinely wonder how much kindness can be capable of carrying, didn’t consider me some weight on her shoulders in the sense that she expected anything from me. It wasn’t even as if I had some intentionally rebellious phase with her to prove she’s not my mother or anything like that, I have been calling her ma or mom for a very long time and that didn’t stop even when the situation changed.

I didn’t have any reason to do such things, even as I had heard many kids who changed families did such things to prove a point, to prove to their new parents they would never replace the ones the kid was used to. Ma never tried to replace my mama. She never tried to mother me. That is not to say that she didn’t act like a mother with me or that she didn’t care about me, far from that. In a way, I think that mother figure fit more with her than actual mothering me. I wasn’t her child to raise. She didn’t raise me so she didn’t act with me the same way she did with Taehyung or Minhee or even Seojun. She didn’t scold me, she didn’t chase me around the house, she simply didn’t act the same way and it was something that maybe benefited me more than I could ever truly realize, the way she was motherly without actually acting like she was my mom.

Probably most of it is because I technically wasn’t raised under her eyes. Sure, she had seen me grow and had seen me change a lot during my teenage years but I wasn’t raised with the same beliefs she raised her own children with or korean children were raised with in general. I wasn’t raised to be soft and keep my mouth shut, I wasn’t raised to run to an adult when things get the tiniest bit hard and I definitely wasn’t raised to hold back from a fight just for the sake of not being ‘problematic’. On the contrary, I was raised to speak up, to choose my fights carefully, to not start them but finish them, to never let anyone step on me. I was raised with a big, sharp mouth and a quick temper.

Me, Taehyung and Jimin - we were almost comically different. Our upbringings were different, our morals, our traditions, our beliefs sometimes. It’s said that a place changes you, but I would also like to argue that you can get a balkan out of the balkans but never the balkan out of the person.

So while I did look up to ma and viewed her as a motherly figure, I would never be able to actually see her as my mother or talk to her like I would to mine. No matter how close they were or how similar they can be sometimes, they are not the same and will never be. Ma would tell me to always avoid a fight, to not cause trouble, while mom would tell me to not dare came back beaten up by some goodie-two-shoes and that she didn’t raise a weakling,

I was used to rougher love, rougher paths, rougher things. My ma would tell me to not play with feelings but would never comment on my clothes. My mom would tell me to take care of myself and to know my worth, that boys are never worth crying over.

Different mindsets. Inevitably, I would always remain with the ‘cruelty’ of my own culture.

Oh, how disappointed would my mom be knowing her daughter had been a fool at some point…

“Did they overwhelm you already?” I could hear ma’s voice, full of amusement and heavy fondness in it as she came closer, looking at the mess the livingroom had indeed became.

Taehyung had somehow managed to steal the remote and now Jimin was chasing him, their steps so loud the whole neighborhood might as well be cussing us, especially with their colorful laughter and how Taehyung jumped over the sofa and Jimin after him, ending up losing balance and as a consequence dragging Taehyung down with him too when he grabbed his shirt to gain back his posture. The two all but tumbled on the floor like two heavy bombs.

I bit my lips to not laugh, trying so hard to hold it back, to not let it tumble from my lips…

“Yah, you two, remote here, now! Kim Taehyung, get up and stop messing around, come here and make yourself useful instead of getting us complains from the poor neighbors! Minhee, Seojun, stop laughing, Jimin, sweetie, are you okay? Did you get hurt?” ma sprang right into action and, inevitably, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing for real this time as she all but scolded the three siblings and fussed over Jimin, who was already the least likely to get hurt by any meaning, as he fell right on top of Taehyung along this mess he himself has caused.

I could feel my body shake with a laughter I couldn’t even recognize as mine with how honest it was, the type of ugly laugh you could burst out laughing just from hearing, gripping at the counter to not fall from the chair, the muscles of my abdomen already hurting as my eyes became wet from how much it genuinely was impossible to not laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation.

The way ma was actually turning Jimin’s face with her hands and inspecting him all over didn’t help either.

“Yah, young lady, you stop too! I already tolerate your bad habits and the horrible scent! Stub that thing and open that window wider! It’s not cold anymore for me to believe you when you snicker about being cold on the balcony, you little minx!”

Little minx. Somehow, it had become a fond nickname given to me, probably because of my hair, along with my fox-like mischeviousness.

I didn’t mind it, I found it funny, even. A reason for which I sent her a flying kiss along with a wink and dragged another smoke from my cigarette without a care in the world.

Life isn’t the easiest, neither the fairest, but out of all the outcomes that were possible, I’m glad to be living this one. After all, maybe I am different and not from this culture and sometimes even still struggling with the language itself, but I’m not alone. I never was since I stepped into this country and I will never be.

If I am to be honest, I didn’t even like Jimin at first. I was 14 and stupid, if it even makes my stupidity less heavy. Taehyung was my only friend in this country and him being so close to Jimin when I was first - totally not salty about that - had not sat right with me. Jimin also felt very different from us, with the way he was simply so cute and trying so hard to please and popular in the way a pick me would me. He was just simply too good of a kid for me to not think it wasn’t a mask and that was actually his personality - more or less, considering how sassy I came to know he actually is. So I didn’t like Jimin and had been cautious of him, no matter how much Taehyung swore up and down he was ‘nice’. Nice wasn’t enough for me.

Not like he hadn’t been wary and weird around me too at first. We kept on bugging each other and even getting into arguments until we finally began to trust each other and actually became friends.

If it is to ask me what exactly made me trust Jimin, I would say the way he stood up for Taehyung. I could deal with my own bullies, per-se, I didn’t need someone to have my back and I didn’t need to be protected - even if I did appreciate it a lot. I was used to being bullied considered I have been going to school in Japan, which wasn’t much nicer and I would get into a lot of trouble for standing up to my bullies.

So I knew how to deal with them. I didn’t expect anyone to intervene and be my knight on a white horse or something. What I could not get over was Taehyung being the one on the receiving end of said bullying.

I didn’t even have time to react before Jimin had already cornered the leader of the group of the boys who thought it would be oh so funny to throw nasty words at Tae. I came into the view too, ready to cover his back and even threatened them I’ll see them after school if they dare whisper Jimin’s name, knowing from Tae he would get into trouble at home if any of those idiots were to open their mouths and pronounce his name. I was already known for my temper outbursts and would not get any scolding for protecting my friend so I simply took it upon me, as the one who would be dealing with the least damage.

Not like I had been smart either as I didn’t know how to throw a single punch, but I was definitely feisty enough to make them afraid with the idea of actually banging a chair against their kneecaps.

In this sense, Korea was and wasn’t different from where I had grown: physical fights were a thing. Pulling and pushing and punching were things happening. It was definitely with way more hypocrite people though, acting as if their kids would never get physical. What a joke.

Over the need we both had to protect Tae, we have bonded. That had been the first tie.

This is not to say Tae himself didn’t intervene when I received any kind of bullying. No, he had always snapped back at the ones being nasty to me. The only thing he wasn’t doing, unlike me and Jimin, wa getting physical, which I understood where it came from and didn’t mind. After all, the least he gets involved, the least chances are of him getting hurt.

A summer night, filled with laughter, running around and ma scolding the three siblings was something that will always remain a beautiful memory.

That me, Tae and Chim snuck around with soju and played card until the early hours of the morning, away from the curious youngers was another story. Tae was the shittiest person with handling alcohol I got the pleasure to know. Luckily - and annoyingly - he was amazing at beating our asses too.

“You’re cheating!” I screamed, throwing my cards in annoyment when Taehyung had won yet another round.

“I am not, you’re just a sour loser!” he accused me, pointer finger in my direction, offended expression over his face.

“This time I’m taking her side. You cheater, stop cheating and play fair!” Jimin threw his cards too, taking my side for once and raising to his feet, even thuming one to the floor.

“Shut up, I saw you sneaking more cards down to win too, gremlin!” I was definitely not going to let him act like a hypocrite.

“Says the one who literally draws cards just because you know it will be another fueler, you deck-cheater!”

I was the one shuffling the deck, sure, but I do not claim such dishonour!

“I am not cheating! It is perfectly within rules to draw a card even if I could put one down!”

“How do you even know she can put one down, huh? Wanna confess something, cheater?!”

We both knew what Taehyung was trying to do: distract us from the fact that he was the biggest enemy on this one.

“Shut up, you cheater!” both me and Jimi somehow syncronised in snapping at him, also the only one remaining on the floor with his legs crossed under him.

I have never seen someone be so funnily offended of their scheme not going the way they wished.

So yeah, Taehyung is a sore loser. And the biggest lightweight.

Author note: I truly hope you enjoyed this one too and thanks to everyone sticking with this messy thing! Love y'all 🤗

Tagging: @parkdatjimin @pamzn

#bts fanfiction #fanfiction #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fic #taehyung x oc

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