#minfilia's actual pain

[anneapocalypse]

One thing that really gets me about Urianger comforting Minfilia in Amh Araeng is that when she says Thancred hates her, Urianger never actually says, no, he doesn't. He says instead, none of this is your fault, and the original Minfilia wouldn't hold anything against you, and in typical Urianger form he says some things about fate and faith, and his words are kind and beautiful--but he also completely sidesteps the question of how Thancred feels about her.

And I think this moment is very reflective of Urianger's relationship to Thancred and child!Minfilia as a whole. It reflects what we see when we first see all of them together in Il Mheg.

Urianger knows that the way Thancred behaves toward the girl is hurting her. He's spent enough time around the two of them to see that plainly. Theoretically, he could say something to Thancred about it; they're obviously close friends, and if Thancred was going to value anyone's opinion, it would be his. But he doesn't say anything, because he still feels guilty and responsible for all of it: about their Minfilia going to the First and what happened to her there, and thus for what both Thancred and child!Minfilia are going through now. Even though Thancred has never outright blamed him for it (however he may feel privately, which I think is hard to say), it seems like Urianger still feels like he has no right to say anything.

So he tries to compensate instead. He's kind to Minfilia, connects with her in his own way and gives her books, and by the time we see them together he's obviously become something of a familial figure to her. I would say that he and Thancred aren't so much raising her together as they're doing it... around one another. Thancred is gruff and cold and holds Minfilia at arm's length emotionally so that his protectiveness comes off harshly even when it's well-meant, and Urianger dotes on her and tries to make up for it all while avoiding the actual problem.

So that conversation in Amh Araeng is both touching and maddening to me, and it really drives home what's maddening about it when, upon overhearing it, the Warrior of Light turns to Thancred to ask him if he has anything to say to Minfilia--who has just said, out loud, that she thinks Thancred wishes she was dead--and Thancred just says, "Not today."

And so they both go on avoiding the actual problem, for just a little longer.

[plounce]

one thing about thancred and ryne is that i think they BOTH project onto the other to some extent. thancred's treatment of ryne is obviously very impacted by how he relates her to minfilia. but as evidenced by fatebreaker - "dread hope" - ryne's perception of thancred is also colored by her other father figure / protector. ryne had already grown up knowing about the other minfilias before her and being told she would never measure up and the best she could do was stay in her cell in the cavernous jail under eulmore. by the time thancred rescues her, she already fully believes she is an inferior version of the girls/women before her, and thancred's close relationship with the PEAK minfilia makes it very easy for her to perceive their relationship as thancred begrudgingly taking care of her because she's the closest thing to HIS minfilia. and while that's a little bit true, it isn't anywhere near the whole truth, i don't think. (and obviously none of this is "her fault" - she's an abused and traumatized child with an unimaginable burden on her tiny little shoulders. of course that's gonna effect how she sees the world and the people close to her)

i really wish we got to see/know more of ryne's "before" wrt her character arc - what was her life of captivity in eulmore like (thank you e11 for the crumbs)? what did she know how to do when thancred first got her out - how actually "helpless" was she, what skills did she lack, what basic knowledge of the world was she ignorant of? and (my favorite): what was her and thancred's relationship like before the WoL arrived on the first? because the WoL arriving on the first was the cause of her running away to go find them in an effort to Be The Original Minfilia, and i do think that that incident affected how thancred behaved for a lot of shadowbringers. the fear from her getting captured again by her abusers! the turmoil over that being a clanging alarm that she is getting close to Her Big Existential Choice!

and in the end, both of them meet with who the other saw in them. ryne chooses to continue to live, even if she doesn't totally feel like she deserves to, even if she isn't the strongest minfilia, even if it's difficult and painful. and the original minfilia embraces her and gives her a bottle of hairdye and is finally able to rest. and thancred basically dies to keep ran'jit from having control over ryne, and is reborn as A Better Dad. and then (because while ran'jit is thancred's foil, thancred also operates as one for emet-selch) he accepts and embraces ryne as an individual person who of COURSE deserves to live. who, while not his first sisterdaughter, is regardless beloved family to him. who he is glad did not sacrifice herself to bring back his mostly-dead glory-days loved one. and then he gives her a name that has nothing to do with their relative traumatic pasts - just their shared time together as a family unit (with urianger. but i don't need to go into That subtext with you)

literally mountaingoats_lovelovelove.mp3 love is gonna lead you by the hand into a white and soundless place. now we see things as in a mirror dimly. now we see each other face to face

[elliewiltarwyn]

FFXIV Write 2024 | #16: Third-rate

Word Count: 443

Fifth Astral Moon, 25th Sun, 0 7AE

Lily’s alive. Thank the Twelve, she’s alive.

Yugiri found her under a curiously-small amount of guard while scouting out Halatali in search of Raubahn, and managed to spirit her away ere anyone’s notice fell upon them. I felt myself sinking into the chair when Honoroit burst into the room to inform us that they were on their way to Fortemps Manor - Mia flat out fell to her knees and exhaled the biggest sigh of relief I’ve ever heard.

She arrived propped up by Haurchefant, shivering and unable to stand on her own. Count Edmont promises he’ll call upon Ishgard’s finest chirurgeons to help her, but in the meantime I’m doing my best. She’s in a rough state…to put it lightly. She’s half-emaciated and she struggles to hold on to anything, her muscles too weak to make a firm grasp. From what little she’s been able to speak of, she was chained up within her cell and essentially left to rot, only fed enough gruel to survive…

I already wanted to go ballistic and rampage through the Brass Blades and any other Syndicate cronies who dared stand between me and Lolorito… and seeing what they did to Lily in their captivity has only inflamed that desire.

But they’re at least a clear, tangible target in the real world. The other subject Lily was able to speak of is far more difficult to fight.

“I’m sorry,” she keeps saying, staring at me unblinkingly every time, her eyes large and displaying a window into the sheer torrents of pain she’s in. “I declared that I’d protect you, the same way you’ve protected me all this time…but I couldn’t. I barely even delayed them - I couldn’t save you or Mia or Minfilia or anyone else. In the end, I was the useless one - the hanger-on - the worthless, third-rate Warrior of Light who doesn't even deserve the title.”

I immediately protested, told her in no uncertain terms that she isn’t remotely worthless. That if Mia and I are allegedly so vital to the realm as the Warriors of Light, then she is too. I might have actually grown a little frustrated with her: “I’ve been telling you since the beginning, and I’ll keep telling you as many times as is necessary, you’re worth the effort.”

I’ve always doubted that she believed me whenever I told her such before; I’m just about certain that she doesn’t now. I don’t blame her for it, given what she’s been through—what we’ve all been through—but…gods. None of us deserved this. I think Lily deserved it the least of us all.

[sayonaramidnight]

Hmmmm maybe Aymeric about Rinoire? Or Minfilia about Helvi?

He was pleased to see that the tales of her skills with pole-arms were not exaggerated - not that he would ever doubt in the words of his old friend or the Champion of Eorzea - and yet he could not help but wonder about her reasons for becoming a dragoon. She was already sworn to her Grand Company in Ul'dah, and much as she had been eager to join the battle at the Steps of Faith, it was plain to see she treated it as... well, a job, rather than a holy duty.

She did not seem to worship any deity in particular, not just the Fury, and refused to talk to any clergymen.

"My relationship with religion is pretty complicated," she admitted, when he asked her about that, "The thing is, my parents were an inquisitor and a heretic, assigned to spy on each other," she spoke in a flat voice and her uncovered eye did not express anything, "I had to watch them fight to death at the tender age of two".

As she finished speaking, she gazed at him in silence. Expectantly.

"You're..." He swallowed the first word that came into his mind. "You're jesting, aren't you?"

"You've noticed. Well done," her smirk seemed mocking, but there was no malice in her voice - he might have even trace a shade of appreciation there, "Actually, I have my reasons not to trust the men and women of the cloth," she winced and gave out a small huff, "Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the higher powers who may not even care about my opinion. Just the people who claim to speak on their behalf. I was raised in Gridania, after all".

He nodded thoughtfully. Little did Ishgardians know of Gridanian religious affairs, it would do no harm to look closer at them at a later time. Right now, he had an opportunity to test her, just like she was testing him. "Still, you agreed to help Ishgard against the dragons. Does it mean you trust us, Lieutenant Noirterel?"

"After I learnt you rely on a bloody ancient dragon to gaze at your knights and pick his own slayer? Not in the slightest".

To his own surprise, he gave a small chuckle. "Pray, do not... Wait, which of your parent was an inquisitor?"

"Let me think... My mum".

"Pray, do not say those things in front of your mother's brethren".

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

I meant it when I told her she was my pillar of strength. Then why did she look pained?

True, I know she does not enjoy going into the fray - but still, she does not hesitate, when that is what it takes. That is, however, not the reason why I told her that - why I allowed myself being weak with her, which I hardly ever do, even with Thancred. Perhaps especially with him.

She is my pillar of strength not because she slays Primals, but because she she works towards alliance with the beast tribes - even though she insists she's "simply helping a little" - which has long been a dream of mine. Because Lhaminn has some fond memories of her. And because I can watch her work and chat about gemstones whenever we have time.

We may be Hydaelyn's chosen, but we must remember to be people beside being heroes. That is what she reminds me to be when she is around - which does not happen often enough and I am the only one to blame for it.

I hope she keeps doing the same for the others, when our Mother calls for me.

NPC PoV asks!

[unionizedwizard]

alone bound and hide for Le Irma :)

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

she's been alone (emotionally so, at least. she's never lived alone in the desert or anything like that) practically her whole life at this point, with a few notable exceptions, the main one being her time at the arcanists' guild where she felt like she truly belonged. this made her unexpected assignment as adventurer by merlwyb that much more painful, and she was by no means close to the scions for the better part of the story - she felt closest to minfilia ("and how's that worked out for you so far?"). her loneliest (and most difficult) time was when she was living with her adoptive family in ul'dah - not being part of the family or ul'dahn society as a whole, but also not fitting in with the servants or her fellow ala mhigan refugees. the twin sisters' governess/tutor was her only ally (she was the one who arranged for her to be sent at mealvaan's gate in the first place). and then of course g'raha disappearing right as she was starting to feel as if she had finally found a friend did not really help. shall we say. she tends to keep people at arms' length and tries to be as self-sufficient and independent as possible as a result

"how do they act when there's no one around to see them?" as a matter of fact, ever since her time in the first (but honestly, i think it started much earlier, and that it was always a lingering concern of hers) she's paranoid about being spied on, watched, and observed. between the exarch and his weird tricky mirror, feo ul and their dream access, emet-selch's (and arbert's) constant presence and observation.... privacy is not really something she can hope for anymore, and this is still something she struggles with to this day (is it really being paranoid if you end up being right most of the time?.......)

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

you know that tweet that's like "my whole life i've always been scared of being Found Out. i don't even know what i was hiding. my whole self, i guess"? that's pretty much it. that being said, she doesn't really lie actively, it's more that she doesn't volunteer information about herself and tends to conceal everything, automatically. like, for example, the fact that nobody even knew about her dramatic amnesia backstory until post SHB when g'raha asked about her childhood (concerning and surprising lack of information about it in the various wol-centered works he'd found over the years) or that she was actually from ala mhigo. ("wait, so you helped liberate your homeland?" "well i don't know about that. it's not like i remember it or anything"). it's been a really funny conversation though. "why didn't you say anything about it before??" "well i just didn't see how relevant or useful it would have been". i assume this is in great part why she was extremely irritated with gaia for the better part of the eden storyline ("well, some of us are black magic-inclined amnesiacs and aren't being unpleasant about it")

(i have to specify that i established this part of her backstory almost immediately after starting the game with her - it was how i (very consciously) created her last name too, although the details came much later, so the fact that they did it not once, but TWICE (and, arguably, three times if you count taynor) (wait. four times? on a technicality unukalhai could qualify, i guess) was UNEXPECTED. bunch of teenagers with amnesia and dark powers on account of The Inherited Soulcurse hanging about in eorzea and beyond. it's like a local species at this point)

[bielobog-kun]

wol shb stuff

i mentioned that thancred is yann's bestie and if you were wondering how this went in shb well it was bad. as close as they were, thanny was not as forthcoming with his deep emotions as yann and in particular yann had a lot of trouble understanding thancred's feelings about minfilia and by extension ryne. he understood the grief because he felt that too, but i don't think he at all got the full dimensions of it and the feelings of fatherhood and unfulfilled responsibility to protect her that were wrapped up in it. thancred had up till then been overall pretty suave and jovial and calm--even when he had a crisis about letting lahabrea get to him he wasn't, like, yelling at people--and i don't think yann was actually prepared to deal with him having these intense feelings such that he even dropped his facade and let his pain publicly get the better of him.

they weren't in a relationship but people often assumed they were because yann has been so fucked in the head since carteneau he has always kind of relied on thancred's smoothness and attentiveness to his own bad feelings. so not only was it hard to see thancred being so harsh to someone who was totally not deserving of it, losing his monopoly on the guy absolutely set him adrift. he already felt like he didn't deserve to live because he lost control of his geomancy trying to manipulate fire aether (which he had very limited experience with) on a huge scale at carteneau and nuked a bunch of grand company soldiers along with the garleans he was after. so when the light aether got to be too much to handle he was like yeah ok this time i'm taking it with me to the bottom of the ocean alone alone alone and no one else will die. and most crucially the one person who could've talked him down wasn't emotionally available to do it because the pair of them had barely been on speaking terms for weeks.

this is when emet-selch got his foul hooks into his head over a period of time that is considerably longer and lonelier than the canonical descent into the tempest. anyway thank god ghosts don't have to breathe because if it weren't for ardbert sinking down to amaurot like a glitched out skyrim npc yann'd probably still be down there bleeding light aether from most of his orifices and being negged by his shitty ex boyfriend from nine thousand lifetimes ago

[voidsentprinces]

See a few people on the tweets and tumblr wondering if previous expansions got this much flack at their launches.

So, let me reiterate from my own experiences. Even before I was actually IN the fandom. There was a ripple of complaints and memeing about Raubahn (Savage) and Raubahn (Extreme) because the launch was so hard on their servers. That you could literally get stuck on the Raubahn instance battle at the beginning of the expansion. Entire lines of people rose up and was taken pictures of. In addition, there was a small but vocal debate on people being down on Zenos thirstiers. While there were a couple posts here and there disappointed about how neither Doma nor Ala Mhigo were fully fleshed out being too little after cut on different sides of the expansion. Some people questioned Hien's actions in the Azim Steppe as forcing the secluded Steppe Tribes to save his fallen empire and bursting in on a sacred tradition for his own personal gain. But, I wasn't really in the fandom back then. Thats just the stuff that rippled out and brushed across me like a wave on the shoe coating your toes as you walk on the beach.

When I finally DID join the fandom proper in the waning days of Stormblood. Shadowbringers hype was about to be in full swing. The fandom had gotten a few things here and there. The Call had just happened, I think. People were speculating about Solus and getting excited about a possible full fledged war with Garlemald. But then the Shadowbringers cinematic teaser drop. And there were a lot of questions, why was Y'shtola now called Master Matoya? What is Minfilia doing alive again? Holy shit, Gunbreaker hype! Hopes for Healer Dancer arrived. Why the fuck is Urianger so sexy? Etc. Blue Mage in coming.

At launch, Shadowbringers, if I recall correctly, was actually widely acclaimed. Soon after the same people who rained on the Zenos lover brigade also came down on Emet lovers. Some people felt G'raha was kind of a creep. For a small portion of the community, the Hydaelyn is evil circles became somewhat vindicated by the reveal of Hydaelyn and Zodiark being the eldest of primals. Thinking she might be tempering us and the story of light also being as bad as dark in excess leading some to believe she would be the final boss of the series with Zodiark. In addition, there were a few people here and there where Shadowbringers just ruined the entire story for them and they just did not like the direction the MSQ went. As the expansion progressed people lambasted Gaius for going through what they described as "man pain" instead of actual redemption. The NieR raid ending left people a little miffed. But the end of Eden left people happy. And bringing up the 'flat and emotionless' performance people are throwing at Wuk Lamat. There was even a period of time where people complained about Aymeric and Cid and a few others sounding weak cause they were most likely recording from their own bedroom closet due to COVID having shut every motherfucking thing down.

At Endwalker launch, it was kind of excited and mixed. Queues ruled the world as people desperately tried to claw their way in. Some people were mad we didn't raze Garlemald to the ground ourselves. In From the Cold was divisive. I, myself, was on a one Void crusade about being indifferent and even bewildered by the Fandaniel = Amon reveal and lukewarm on Krile being around but being Hydaelyn's sock puppet for cutscenes. The first part of the expansion feeling like a 5.6 rather than an actual expansion and then after Zodiark is when Endwalker actually did feel like it hit its stride. The people who felt vindicated in their Hydaelyn is Evil conclusion bent over backwards and tried their hardest to say she WAS evil the entire time. Some posts about being kind of iffy on Emet returning after Seat of Sacrifice gave him a decent send off. Hythlodaeus and Venat otherwise sweeping people off their feet. And it was mixed on the treatment of Ahewann in particular. And afterwards posts about Relics not being this long tedious grind, the Post-Endwalker Void stuff kind of taking the mystery out of the Void and kind of lackluster. Myths and Pandaemonium meanwhile were praised widely, far as I can tell. And in one single patch poster, an entire section went from called Lahabrea a Bread Loaf to a D A D D Y.

So with Dawntrail launching and getting mixed reaction. I can safely say this has always happened. Expect years of posts from different retrospectives either defending or lambasting Dawntrail as we see with Stormblood and certain sections of both Shadowbringers and Endwalker. Not everyone will like everything in the story. People have their own perspective on things. And they will voice their opinion on things cause people want to be heard. My thoughts on Dawntrail? At time of posting, I still haven't played the MSQ. But I did see a spoiler. So my opinion is that death is an illusion and so are pants.

[aotopmha]

The final bits of the lvl 88 MSQ I have thoughts on are the dungeon and the trial.

Ktisis Hyperboreia was a little less impactful for me compared to all of the other dungeons in Endwalker.

Zot had the really cool interior design and final boss, Babil had the really cool train set piece that lead into the tower and Anima, which narratively led perfectly into what came next, Vanaspati had the scale, tension and awesome monster designs.

Eventhough Ktisis gave you the chance to run a dungeon with the ancients and explore an ancient facility, only the final leg of the dungeon had a setting and a boss I found to be pretty cool: while the rest wasn't bad, it also wasn't as cool and interesting as some other encounters before it.

It was a cool idea that really deserved more interesting execution in my eyes.

So how does The Atiascope compare to them all?

Well, The Atiascope is equally a feast on the eyes as well as lore brain.

I think it is probably the best-looking dungeon of the game so far and I can't wait to see it with the graphical update.

We actually see what the Aetherial Sea approximately looks like, and the echoes of the souls of our friends accompany us on our way to Hydaelyn.

I think how souls work here also explains the apoearances of Haurchefant and Y'sayle when Estinien is freed from Niddhog's eyes. It's trace of their (memory) aether still not having moved on to the sea proper.

Sometimes the big lore dungeons can be less interesting mechanically than narratively (I love Amaurot, but feel like the cool monster designs deserved more interesting mechanics), but I think I enjoyed all of the bosses in the Atiascope because they gave new twists to old foes.

Livia, Rhitahtyn and Amon all had really neat twists to their fighting style and attacks.

I like the positioning with Livia.

I like opening up the safe spot for the walls Rhitahtyn creates. Shields as weapons is always such a neat concept to me.

And Shiva creating the ice block for Amon's attack is one of coolest story-gameplay integration moments in the game for me.

What a fantastic idea.

Between the bosses, the souls we see are:

- Papalymo, with Ilberd as a strong mob to take down.

- Haurchefant, who gives us a buff.

- Minfilia, who we see creating the way forward at some point.

- And of course, as mentioned Shiva/Y'sayle, who creates the ice block to protect you from Amon's attack.

The cutscene after the dungeon gives us closure on Amon, which I already went into in another post here, but it also gives closure on Asahi.

I love how the hatred between Asahi and Alphinaud is mutual.

"Likewise I hope we do not meet again."

In the cutscene before the trial, Hydaelyn sums up the character arcs and struggles everyone has gone through and also restates that she ultimately sundered reality for humanity to have a chance against Meteion, for which they need the ability to manipulate Dynamis.

And most crucially she restates that what she did caused much suffering; it was simply her solution to the problem of humanity's survival, not the morally optimal option out of any of the solutions the ancients could find. And I think that's my favourite part of her story.

She implemented the best solution she could think of that would preserve humanity's future, and it was still imperfect and caused much pain.

And then we get to the trial itself.

Which was a little bit of a let down in my eyes because Zodiark was so good.

It's, again, great on the lore level because we see all of these iconic elements associated with her character used in the fight.

We see her as an all-rounder fighter, then must defeat the crystals styled after the ones we initially get from her and finally, we see her create mini Floods of Light.

However, I don't find it particularly unique mechanically.

I still like it, I just don't find it mindblowing.

What I like about her farewell afterwards (this also applies to the cutscene before the fight), is that we get to address her as Venat because I think the real intention with her characterisation in Endwalker was to humanise her.

Not necessarily to make her good or bad morally, but to give her beliefs she acts upon with conviction.

I see the intention behind her character as that of an incredibly strong, but still imperfect woman put into a difficult situation, who fought for the future of humanity with all of her might.

And I think she deserves to be sent off as that "human" woman, not the "goddess" she became.

And finally, here is where I mention the details that the Labyrinthos/Atiascope section uses to bring the story full circle: the Dalamud shards, which were a symbol of the Seventh Umbral Calamity are now used to save humanity along with the Mothercrystal, which has been a stand-in/symbol for Hydaelyn for so long, is used as a fuel to travel to Meteion.

Once again, I think it's all just really well done.

And with the next quest I'm at being the first lvl 89 quest, I'm officially in the final stretch of 6.0.

I was planning to get to it today, but I think I also have other plans today and the next few days, so I'll see how it works out time-wise.

Aiming for it in the upcoming days/week for sure, though.

[wyrmwinds]

I think Ran’jit was a Very Cool Villain actually but no one talks about it. Clearly the solution to this is to make him a babygirl and I’m willing to do it.

Non-joke rambling abt this Old Man under the cut bc he goes through So Much More than people give him credit for.

[This meta was written before the new Ran’jit-focused short story was released, and I have not updated it accordingly, though there is little that conflicts with it]

[shaking people who misinterpret him] Ran'jit is NOT simply a stuck up old man he is a dad heartbroken over his daughters dying time and time again. He’s had to outlive so many of them and its even worse that he's partially at fault for their deaths since he taught them to fight.

“Who armed you? Trained you? Fought and killed a thousand sin eaters with you!? And when you were inevitably cut down and lay lifeless in my arms─who sought out your successor to carry on the futile struggle again and again!?”

He can't let Ryne learn. She'll die like the rest of them. They always do no matter how hard he trains them -- again and again and again. The only solution is to keep her from fighting altogether. Reject Minfilia’s harsh burden for these poor girls so they can at least live. It’s a bitter task, but what parent wants to outfit their child for war and then their inevitable death?

The first idolizes the Minfilias and accepts sending young maidens to their doom as a necessary evil, but Ran’jit realizes how cruel it is to place the weight of the world onto them, especially when they can’t truly win. What is the point? No amount of dead sin eaters will actually save the world, they just keep coming back and reforming and killing and killing and--

You can actually read a translation of the JP version of one of the quests here, and I do like parts of it more. Particularly Ryne’s answer, the focus on memories ties in so well to Eden. The fact that she tells Ran’jit “I know there is pain, but the outside world is important enough for me that it makes the pain worth it. It will hurt me more if I simply go back to my cell.” In addition, the localization makes it seem like Ran’jit hates Minfilia? While JP makes it more clear that he wants her to be safe.

I really like the Eulmore villains, as their motivations are born of desperation in a doomed world. Is it wrong to seek a semblance of peace rather than fight an endless war against light? As far as anyone knew, there was no way to resolve the way sin eaters reform. It takes a hero pulled from another world that a majority of people are unaware of to actually get rid of them. If not for that, their path could have been the path of least pain -- if only it weren’t purporting a class divide and abuse of the lower class.

[faelune-home]

FFXIVWrite 2024 #24: Bar

(A/n: I'll be honest, this is maybe a flimsier connection to the prompt than I would've liked. :'D I mainly wanted to write this AU continuation and didn't know when I'd be able to. Then this prompt came up and I had a bemoaning moment that this one would've been perfect for the Inn introduction, which reminded me I wanted to make this one the next step in the introduction stories.

I probably could've just skipped ahead to the evening to actually set it at the Inn bar, but I really want to get through the actual proper introductions...even if the AU isn't the priority compared to the role quest works. But as it is, I've written it now and there's probably some tenuous connections to the prompt, but so be it.

It's Tataru the general store owner, kinda covering the grounds of both FoM's actual general store but also kinda Balor's "shady, but highly connected merchant" role as a 2-in-1.

Word count: 960)

The first thing Fhara heard when they entered the general store was a lot of huffing and puffing and heaving, and a grumble partly muffled by the shelves the voice was lost in.

“Good gods, maybe I do need some extra hands in here. Even just to restock and mind the shelves then I can stay at the desk and not have to lug this around all the time.”

“Do you need some assistance Tataru?” Minfilia called out, already looking concerned. A curious squeak sounded out, and the sound of rushing footsteps until a little lalafellin woman with purple hair rounded the corner into full view.

“Minfilia, hello!” she smiled, offering a curtsy, then rushing around the main checkout desk and popping up over the countertop. “No need for that, I was just taking inventory. Just a pain to drag around the step ladder, but the work has to be done.”

“I’m sure we could get someone to help out if you need it,” Minfilia offered, but Tataru shook her head and gave the desk a firm smack with her hand.

“Not at all! It’s easy to gripe when I’m in the middle of it, but the job gets done and I don’t need to worry about it. And besides, who’s even on hand to help out, everyone’s busied up with their own worries, especially with the town in the straits it's in.”

Minfilia barely got to respond as Tataru spied her companion and already continued on her own spiel, a perfectly professional smile spreading on her face.

“And this is the newcomer you mentioned, yes? I know Minfilia was here a few days ago preparing your welcoming gift, all the spare tools and the new seeds. I do hope they suit you for your work.”

“I haven’t gotten to use them yet, but I’m expecting the best,” Fhara bowed, already blown away at the woman’s speed, “I’m Fhara, by the way.”

“Tataru, as you’ve probably already learned. If you need anything else in future, furniture, resources, any more seeds - we get the seasonal crops in as the year goes by - you come here. And I’ll sell your produce as well.”

Fhara blinked, definitely having a moment with all the information. Minfilia could sense it too, shaking her head bemused at it all.

“I still don’t know how you manage to keep connected and sell your goods outside the valley, since you yourself even pointed out that we’re all struggling at the moment. But it’s been a great boon to have you keeping us afloat like this, my friend.”

Tataru’s smile seemed to shift from its polite front to a warmer one at Minfilia’s address. She gave another curtsy atop her step.

“Oh, anything to help out. Business is business of course, but for our little home here, I’ll do what I can.”

Then turning back to Fhara, she added, “And I do mean that first part. Business is business, and I know you’ve just moved here, but I can’t be doing any freebies. The welcoming gift is an exception for Minfilia’s sake, but anything else, I’ll need your gil for it. But I assure you, I keep my prices fair.”

“You’ll be fighting Thancred for some of the produce, he’s already staked his claim for the inn’s menu,” Minfilia chuckled, while Fhara had turned her eye to look over the shelves and what was available. She was already trying to fight back a grimace at the price of some of the things - this was a fair deal? She didn’t want to say anything while in Tataru’s presence though, and simply made a note that she’d probably have to sell a lot just to be able to afford enough seeds to fill a field at a later date.

“Speaking of the inn,” Tataru started, eying up Fhara again, “You’ll be there tonight won’t you? It’s all good fun when everyone gets together. And I can’t think of a better way to meet everyone in one go.”

“Well, we’ll be trying to go around the town to see some people before tonight, but we’ll still come along,” Minfilia said, turning to Fhara, who nodded her agreement.

“It’s been mentioned so much, I’m a little bit nervous now.”

“Don’t be! No-one bites…well, a few cups in and deeper into the night things might get a bit loud and rowdy, but I’ve never seen a punch get thrown. Anything gets too out of hand, Thancred puts a quick stop to it. Oh and Ryne’s getting quite good at being a firm hand with the crowds as well now, bless her.”

Minfilia chuckled again at Tataru’s statement.

“Well, we should head off again, we’ve got much to do before tonight,” she said, casting a glance at the wall clock, “If you’re sure you don’t need an extra hand before we leave though? It would go quicker with the three of us than just yourself.”

Tataru had once again hopped off her counter tool and rounded the front desk, already shooing the two the the door.

“No no, off you pop! I’ll manage just fine. And again, you need anything at all,” even if I don’t have it, I’ll get it for you, no exceptions. We can talk fees depending on the commission.” Fhara nervously chuckled and matched Tataru’s chipper little farewell wave as the door closed between them.

“I’m beginning to worry I might not be able to afford what she’s offering,” she sighed. Minfilia wrapped her arm around Fhara’s and gently pulled her along the street, deeper into the town.

“Oh come now, Tataru’s hardly unreasonable. But let’s get a move on, we still have people to visit and much to see before we can all have a round at the bar tonight.”

[wilanserulia]

You know what, tumblr seems the perfect place to voice ramblings about my OCs, so maybe let's start with my FFXIV Warrior of Light, Wilan, whose story is actually deeply entwined with my other FFXIV OC Delen.

I'll try to be brief, even if this is just a basic outline, especially so from Stormblood onward. I'll throw in some photos to keep things interesting though.

Wilan Serulia hails from a small archipelago of islands off the coasts of Vylbrand, in the Rhotano Sea. Son of a fisherman, Wilan has never been quite fond of the family trade. When out at sea he only had eyes for the land he could see in the distance, desiring nothing more than to see what lies beyond the horizon.

When he came of age, against his parents' better judgement, he got rid of pretty much everything he owned to buy an old sword and a one-way journey toward Limsa Lominsa, where he would start to earn a living joining the ranks of people who tried to help their community while so much manpower had been diverted to oppose the Garlean invasion. In other words, he became an adventurer.

A few years laters, now with a good deal of experience under his belt, he eventually crossed paths with the Path of the Twelve. Minfilia Warde's organization looked to recruit people who had awakened to the Echo, and Wilan himself had received Hydaelyn's calling some time after beginning his new life. Through her he came in contact with the Circle of Knowing, led by Louisoix Leveilleur, who became a mentor for him, channeling his raw motivation and good intentions and giving him purpose.

Events set in motion by yet unknown forces would eventually lead to the Seventh Calamity, and despite his and the Circle's best efforts to stop Garlean legatus Nael van Darnus in his tracks, Wilan is unable to arrest Dalamud's descent.

At the culmination of the battle of Cartenau Flats, as Dalamud hatched to reveal the elder primal Bahamut, as even their last measure failed to contain the Calamity, Louisoix invoked Althyk's power to keep Wilan save in an aetherial slumber from which he would be restored no less than five years later.

Reawakening to a world scarred but in the process of healing, Wilan would soon get in contacts with his associates from the Circle of Knowing and the Path of the Twelve, now reunited under the new name of Scions of the Seventh Dawn. Together with them, he would successfully thwart the XIV Legion's attempt at conquering Eorzea and be acclaimed as a Hero.

In the following times, he would meet a refugee from one of the Garlean provinces by the name of Delen Aldanea. Having lost almost everything in her escape from Terncliff, including her own mother, Wilan decides to take the auri girl in to give her a place to stay and, at least on paper, a job, to aid her with immigration paperwork.

Not long after Wilan would find himself framed for the attempted murder of the Sultana of Ul'dah. Bitter and resentful, with apparently his whole homeland turning against him, Wilan and two other Scions sought political refuge within the walls of Ishgard where, unable to keep himself out of trouble, he ended up tangled with the city's Thousand Years War; he would eventually defeat Nidhogg and bring piece between dragonkind and mankind.

While his name back home had been cleared, Wilan didn't yet make a return. Some of the traumas he went through weighed down on him, and he felt like he needed to find a better way to deal with the ever-increasing expectations and the amount of dreams he found himself carrying on his back.

He accidentally came across the corpse of one of the so-called dark knights of Ishgard and came in possession of his Soul Crystal. The crystallized aether resonated with his soul in turmoil, recognized in him the desire to be a positive force in the world weighed down by unnecessary complications. It wishpered into his ears a way to deal with it all, to close his heart to the pain. To this day he couldn't be sure if the voice he heard wasn't entirely his own, either.

Either way, he gave his answer to that whisper. He would find a different way.

Eventually, however, he came across a man from Gyr Abania, going by the name of X'rhun Tia.

It had happened as he was coming in defense of a little girl, dashing in as a proper hero, not merely dispatching of the girl's assailants with ease but infusing in her hope by his very presence. After everything was settled, Wilan asked the man if he could teach him how to be like him.

X'rhun had recognized something in Wilan, something raw and unfocused but either way pure. He would accept his request, he'd teach him how to be a Red Mage, but as Wilan would soon find out his tutelage would involve more than a new fighting style. X'rhun was adamant that a proper hero needed to be refined and well groomed, to be well-read, to have proper manner, a sharp tongue, elegant motions. This and more would be part of his training, an intensive formative journey that would see Wilan fundamentally reconsider his way of life.

When he finally returned home, donning a bright red coat tailor-made for him by his friend in the Scions Tataru, Delen was shocked to find him so thoroughly changed. The man he remembered being genuine, spontaneous and simple to a fault now appeared cloaked in an aura of formal gestures and polished language so thick that she could barely see the person she remembered behind it.

Feeling something was terribly amiss, she insisted in trying to have him talk, and it took some time and a good deal of determination but she eventually got to the end of it: Wilan had ended up wrapping himself in a "hero persona" of sort, in a way to put some distance between himself and the horrors he had to deal with. He wore it like a mask over his eyes so that nobody could see his tears because, as he told her, "a smile better suits a hero". Her dedication to reach him, to let him open up about his traumas, to not let it all bottled inside, had managed to bring down one of the biggest walls they had built between themselves. For a night, for one night, they felt close, connected.

They would put distance back between themselves soon after. Wilan had always been very adamant on not allowing himself to become entangled in this kind of romantic bond, not with the role he was called to cover and the risks that came with it, now less than ever. She knew it, she understood it, she respected it. It didn't mean they could ignore what happened, however.

Some time later, as the winds carried the scent of a storm about to start on the Gyr Abanian front, they would meet again. They caught up on each other's latest events. They tried, almost failing, to keep out of each other's way, and then dancing dangerously close to the boundaries they had set up for themselves Delen asked Wilan if she could also teach her hot to fight, to defend herself, to be an adventurer like him. And, she left unsaid, to spend more time together.

War eventually broke out on the Gyr Abanian front. Wilan took part in it, and eventually coordinating a jointed rebellion he played a pivotal part in liberating Doma and Ala Mihgo alike. The empire had once more been pushed back into Garlemald.

When they'd meet again, as promised, Wilan would teach Delen how to fight, and figured she would be best suited to learn the arts of Red Magic like he did. They would indeed draw closer to each other, but in their renewed intimacy however they ended up crossing a line too many.

Worried by their increasingly close emotional attachment, Wilan chose to put even more distance between the two of them. He would himself be absorbed by his role as the Warrior of Light, leaving little room for his personal life. Having lost his closest emotional point of reference, he just carried on taking everything onto himself, hidden behind what little protection his "mask" offered, ultil a particularly traumatic event when he almost risked losing himself to endless Light really got to him.

Once back home he longed to hear Delen's voice, to tell her some of what happened, but she had gone on living her own life, putting him in the past, or so he figured from the way she answered. He decided not to bother her any longer and to just leave her alone. So it was with heart heavy with doubt and regret and crumbling under the weight of endless expectations placed on his shoulders, that he found himself facing the new advent of the Final Days.

This marked a particulary miserable point in Wilan's life, as he found himself trying to be a beacon of hope for everyone around him while wanting nothing else than to give in to despair, to crumble down under the weight and let it all happen, to stop this desperate struggle against the inevitable. And when even Hydaelyn dissipated, the near divine being who had chosen him as her mortal champion to begin with, he couldn't hold it together anymore. He broke.

As he re-emerged to the surface he found Delen looking for him. He had warned her to seek refuge in Sharlayan, so that she could leave the planet when he would inevitably fail to save the world. She understood at once something wasn't right, insisted with speaking with him in private, and they had barely closed the door to his room when Wilan broke down in tears. They spent the whole night talking. Tears, hugs, despair, their love, the meaninglessness of it all. It was rough, it was painful, but little by little he felt relieved. Healed.

She had invited him to consider, at least imagine, a future, a possibility when he'd be free of his mantle, free to pursue his own happiness. Maybe, together. He smiled bitterly. He would love that, he would want nothing else than to let himself drift away in the imagination of that future. But as he boarded the starship Ragnarok that day, Wilan knew in his heart he would have died out there, fighting to the bitter end.

That he got rescued at all was nothing short of a miracle. That his companions and friends managed to resuscitate him from the grievous injuries received from the battle could probably only be ascribed to the dynamis-charged air of the edge of the universe. It only really hit him that he was still alive when Delen flew halfway across Eorzea to see him, safely returned to their planet. Battered and bruised, only in that moment he felt a flame burning in his chest.

They kissed. Earnestly. Openly. Intensely. They didn't even need to say anything out loud.

Wilan's coat had been damaged beyond repair. Tataru had offered to repair it anyway, but he refused. For the last few years that red coat had been a symbol of his calling as the Warrior of Light. Now he was no longer Hydaelyn's champion, and peace had returned. Of course, he would rise to the occasion should the need arise. Of course he'll answer the call of everyone who will cry for help. Because that was his nature. But now, he was just another traveler.

As expected, life wouldn't exactly be quiet after this tremendous ordeal, but there was now a newfound peace in Wilan, an internal balance, and somebody who he finally decided to accept at his side.

Much of the story, from here on out, is still left unwritten. But despite any shadow that looms at the horizon, the new day's dawn shines bright.

[paintedscales]

digimon au idea / headcanon rambles

nothing really too set in stone, just loose stuff to maybe make more coherent later

teiamon is a rookie level digimon based on meteion, and her overall evolution chart would be:

digiegg -> lifomon (baby) -> kotorimon (in-training) -> teiamon (rookie) -> starbirmon (champion) -> meteiamon (ultimate) -> starfall metiamon (mega) / endsingermon (dark digivolution; would definitely be one of those movie special antagonists)

gonetomon is a rookie level digimon based on dravanians in general leaning toward nidhogg, and his overall evolution chart would be:

digiegg -> korumon (baby) -> ornmon (in-training) -> gonetomon (rookie) -> wivremon (champion) -> nidhogumon (ultimate) -> dragonfire nidhogumon (mega)

names are...being workshopped, tbh. anyway...

deciding that 'Eye of Nidhogg' is actually just some nu metal band that estinien listens to and wears some merch of -- yes, i'm totally justifying the eye of nidhogg shirt i drew for him on a whim. idk, i just put nidhogg imagery on him in my aus like i put ketchup on my hot dog.

most of estinien's digidestined friends are largely in france and there's ysayle (crest of light), haurchefant (crest of friendship), aymeric (crest of reliability), lucia (crest of knowledge), and francel (crest of sincerity). estinien is their holder of the crest of courage.

nomin's are in london with her (for the most part). nomin holds the crest of light. there's arik (crest of friendship), lorha (crest of knowledge), minfilia (crest of love), and tataru (crest of kindness).

nomin wears wigs...at least until her hair grows back in. so she has a small collection of both natural color hair and unnatural color hair that she swaps between on occasion when going out. she's actually really shy about being seen without a wig or a cap while she's no longer receiving chemo.

just because it would have been a pain in the ass for me, digimon are only okay, by law, if they're with their partner humans. so as long as teiamon is with nomin, teiamon gets to stay in the hospital with her. and though it is an unusual occurrence, teiamon doesn't get in trouble when she has traveled along with estinien when picking up stuff for nomin as opposed to when she traveled alone.

japan's not the only one that has outlawed digimon, though, tbh... there are plenty of other places. i want to believe that the americas and the uk are probably the most lax about it so long as they're with their people and clearly not causing issues.

more to come eventually, but for now, i gotta draw.

[feralkwe]

4, 8, 16 and 26 for Kit from the ask meme? :D i'd copy the questions in but i think i'd run out of space with that wall of text lol

haha probably! in fact i'm gonna put this under a cut!

4. how does your wol's echo manifest itself? do they see visions as they happen? all at once? delayed? do they get any physical symptoms from it?

the echo as i understand it is purely hindsight/after the fact (and it is entirely possible i am forgetting instances where it might be otherwise?) so i'd say it's largely a clear, all-at-once thing. in-game it reads to me to be a little painful, or at least distressing. i imagine it to be like a sudden onset headache that maybe leaves behind it a bit of nausea when it passes. it doesn't look pleasant by any means. that said, kit has a high pain threshold, so don't let her fool you. it hurts, she's just determined to grit her teeth through it an soldier onward.

8. how good is your wol at taking care of their armor/clothes? do they mend them themself? pay to gave it fixed? just change it when it gets old?

i would say that her axe she maintains herself with loving attention to detail. she's probably an axe nerd like holga from d&d: honor among thieves, and will correct you on what type of oil and how often you should use it to keep that blade in good shape. this has nothing to do with the fact that kit specifically has the axe of light from sos ex. i'm also sure that rava viera learn to maintain and even make their gear themselves, so whatever she left golmore knowing, she's only enhanced along the way. if there are things she's unsure of, she would absolutely seek out an expert, but she would definitely want to learn to do it herself.

16. is your wol good at cooking? what's their specialty? what can they never get right no matter how hard they try? what flavour profile are they good at cooking? what do they eat on the road?

again, i imagine the viera of golmore to be very communal people, so i am sure kit has at least passable cooking skills. she could probably feed a lot of people in a sustainable way if needed, so the profiles would be of a generic appeal for the broadest demographics. that said, i don't think she likes doing it. food on the road is probably dictated by circumstance: inns or taverns if available so she can get a hearty, hot stew or (if she's lucky!) a really spicy dish. if not, whatever travels best. food is necessity that has to be dealt with, but good food meant to be enjoyed is a treat.

26. what does your wol think about lying? is it unacceptable to ever lie, are white lies okay, are they a pathological liar? how do they feel about people who lie to them?

ooh this is a meaty one. kit does not appreciate being lied to, even in a mild way, or manipulated with half-truths, even for a good reason. it definitely depends on the level of contrition from the liar regarding the lies told, and she does try to approach it with the context of why it was deemed necessary. urianger is the most complicated example of how she views it. the first time was hard. it hurt because it was him and minfilia was the cost. the second, she felt like his hand was forced, and he went out of his way to make amends. right or wrong, she held/holds that one against g'raha, and she's still not fully over it (but trying). her grudge against g'raha will take time, and they need to have an actual meaningful conversation about it. venat/hydaelyn? well, some things will just die hard, and that's all i will say about that here in this specific post lol.

thanks so much for the ask!

[elliewiltarwyn]

FFXIV Write 2024 | #30: Two Heads Are Better Than One

3rd Umbral Moon, 24th Sun, 1577 6UE

Had the chance to speak with Minfilia on the way back from Ul’dah - for the first time since before Titan, since Livia sas Junius wiped out the Waking Sands…

All things considered, she’s holding together stunningly well; I expected naught otherwise (which might not be the fairest weight of expectation, now that I think on it…), but it’s still relieving to see. She poured some tea and we chatted about nothing in particular for a little while before she thanked me for the rescue. Somehow…that made me feel worse about all the missteps it took to get here. My ears still burn and ring damnably when I think of how furiously I accused Longhart (gods I have to get used to this) Mia of selling us out to the Empire in the aftermath of the raid. They still burn as I think about how Lahabrea wore Thancred’s face - which led me to suspect Thancred of having been a double agent all along and saying so to Minfilia’s face, not realizing he’s been there for her for most of her life. He was even the one who dubbed her Minfilia.

It burns because… it’s been something like four, five moons I’ve been with these Scions, and still I cast suspicion about me like a fishing net. Like I haven’t already given more of myself to these people than I ever expected I could, after six years of trauma and pain and mistrust on Pearl Lane - like these people haven’t done so, so much for me. Like Lily hasn’t been the kindest soul, sweet and deserving of whatever protection I can give her. Like Yda and Papalymo didn’t recognize whatever “potential” I had and believed in me enough to invite me into this circle. Like Y’shtola and, yes, Thancred haven’t been invaluable wellsprings of knowledge and political savvy, and pretty good in a scrap to boot. Like Alphinaud—brat that he is—hasn’t still managed to steer me true in a time where we felt powerless and afraid.

Like Mia hasn’t taken massive wounds and blows in order to protect me as I cast my white magic, in spite of all the venomous words and blistering arguments we’ve thrown at each other.

It made me wonder if perhaps that was why Minfilia never sent me out on a mission alone, always under an Archon’s supervision and always with Mia or Lily at my side. I asked her, after moons of waiting to do so, why she had kept pairing me off with them, seeing how often we got in each other’s way and butted heads with each other.

She had simply smiled in that manner that makes me slightly punch-drunk and said, “I won’t say I knew all along, but I always believed there was potential in the partnerships and relationships you were forming ever so reluctantly. Seeing the way you worked together so seamlessly to free us from the castrum…I believe my faith has been rewarded.”

She really pierces to the heart of something that has been bothering me ever since my time on Pearl Lane. After I woke up in Raya-O-Senna’s sickbed in Gridania, I still closed myself off and refused to let myself draw close to anyone - even Sylphie, whom Brother E-Sumi entrusted to my care, I kept at arm’s length. I would be a fool to deny I did my absolute damnedest to do the same with the Scions of the Seventh Dawn - and I’ve failed utterly. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

I’ve found myself a part of something, an effort larger than myself, and that’s actually pretty amazing. And none of us would be here if it weren’t for the efforts of each and every one of us - I couldn’t have hoped to weather such a storm alone.

So maybe I should try trusting in others and working together with them to—for instance—fight back against the XIVth Legion, destroy its Allagan superweapon, and free the Eorzean Alliance from the tyrannical grasp of the Empire. Can’t do it myself; two heads, indeed several, are better than one. And we’ve got a fair few good heads around here.

[aerialsquid]

FFXIVWrite2023 Day 2: Bark

A Ran'jit Lives AU heavily inspired by the recent Lodestone side story.

Ran'jit took stock of his body the way a general tookstock of his troops. He laid still, his attention going from one limb to the next, gathering information. The material beneath him was soft, like a mattress. Around his limbs, cold like metal. Chains, perhaps. They weighed heavy on him. Pain, too, was there, but faint and hazy around the edges. They had drugged him and the drugs eased the pain as well. 

He opened his eyes. He was in a small room. Eulmore still, by the banners and architecture. Perhaps Vauthry had imprisoned him as punishment for his failure. 

The light, though, was strange. He can't put his finger to what it was. Slowly he turned his head from the barred door to the single high window above. At first he thought it must be tinted glass, until he'd stared to the point his eyes hurt and were leaving spots floating about his vision.

It was the sky. The sky was blue. If it was blue that means the light hadn't returned, which means Vauthry was….

Ran'jit bided his time, waiting on the drugs to wear off, floating in the soup of his own brain, and watched that tiny little window as the blue was marred by white clouds floating across it. Blue sky and clouds. He's seen artwork of such things. They were never meant to be seen by his eyes.

The clouds changed. They went to red and orange, as if there was a fire outside, but Ran'jit did not smell smoke or hear screams. The clouds dimmed to purple and ochre as the wind began to clear them and now Ran'jit watched in fascination and horror, as they finally cleared themselves away to reveal a dark sky shot through with bright twinkling specks. The cursed night that Lord Vauthry had sworn to destroy forever now reigned resplendent across the skies of Kholusia.

If it still remained, then Ran'jit had failed. Vauthry had failed.Then there was nothing left but the horrific wheel of sin, turning again and again to harrow this vile world.

The helpless noise that escaped his throat, barked loud like an animal's cry, was both laughter and sob, and it lasted until he ran out of breath. 

The door opened. He expected the Crystal Exarch, or perhaps the Warrior of Darkness. He did not expect a slim figure in a white dress quietly easing into the room, the Exarch's hired thug at her back. Ran'jit, still bound on his back, did not dare to meet her face.

"Minfilia." He noticed for the first time how dry his throat was, when even summoning the word was harsh.

"It's. Ryne now. It's Ryne, actually. I'm Ryne." Minfilia's voice was hesitant but bore steel inside it. Ran'jit's eyes cast upward out of reflex and he finally realized what was wrong. Her hair, the wrong color. Her eyes, no longer that unearthly blue. 

"Do you think to hide from your fate, like this? To color your hair and conceal your eyes?" He could not even beg Minfilia to come home. If he was prisoner at Eulmore than even the Citadel of Pleasure had fallen, and there would be no place left to keep her safe. These people would feed her into the meat grinder, just as they did every girl before her. 

"It's not dye. I–it's a lot to explain, really–"

"And you don't owe him any of it," snapped the hired thug, one hand on her shoulder.

"Aye, but our charge may find some succor in it regardless, and such would be the matter of greatest import." The fortune teller who cavortws with the pixies was lurking in the shadows behind them. Ran'jit could sense naught but his voice and see the glimmer of light off his jewelry, but he seemed to have some hand on the thug's leash all the same.

Ran'jit turnws away from the sordid lot of them. "My lord is dead, and you have doomed my child. If there is aught satisfaction you need from this withered body of mine before you execute me, take it quickly and then let me leave in peace."

Eulmore performed its executions publicly and with great fanfare. The Crystarium, in its weakness, only exiled its worst criminals and let the sin eaters do the work for them. At his age, injured, alone and friendless, the only difference would be how many people saw him die. 

Minfilia stepped into the room, sliding out from under her bodyguard's hand. She raised his head over his bed and closed her eyes. The chains that bound him, solid and metal despite their aetherial glow, suddenly warmed and then vanished into glittering dust that evaporated out into the darkened sky.

"Ryne!" the thug snapped. 

"He won't hurt me." Her soft blue grey eyes rested on him. Ran'jit sat up slowly, mindful of the bandages he now saw wrapped around his lower section and legs.

"I am your enemy, child. I am your guardian's enemy. To spare my life is to risk that of your precious cabal–"

"No! You listen to me for once, Ran'jit!" She was nearly shaking but she had her heart in her throat, her voice sharp and strong as a blade. When Ran'jit looked into those soft eyes he found it hard to locate a trace of the timid creature he'd kept in a gilded cage in Vauthry's vaults.

"I'm tired of hard choices. I'm tired of sacrificing one life for another - my life, your life, his life, anyone. I'm tired of being told nothing can be bought without blood!" Her voice cracked, tears hesitating at the corners of her eyes, but she kept speaking. 

"Why are men bloody like this? We have so little left and you have to keep ripping apart the shreds further and then telling me it's just the way of things. No. I'm done with it. Thancred's told me about the other girls, I know what happened and I'm sorry but that's not enough reason to just start burning everything down. I don't want anyone else to die stupidly, no matter what they've done."

Ran'jit's hand moved without his consent, as autonomous as Gukumatz. A frail reflexive reaction to embrace her, one he thought he'd burned out of his brain ages ago. He heard the sound of metal scraping as the thug in the doorway readied his gunblade. Perhaps that would be how General Ran'jit would choose his death: letting the bodyguard cut him down because the fool assumed that if Ran'jit wanted someone dead, there'd be anything he could do to stop it.

…but not in front of Minfilia. 

The hand settled on his knee instead. Ran'jit took in a slow breath, feeling the places where his injuries kept his lungs from fully expanding. No reaction to the pain, just as he was trained, it was nothing but a status report from a soldier to its general.  "Then what is to be done with this old war dog, that you will neither slaughter nor throw out to fight again?"

"I want you to live!" Minfilia angrily rubbed the heel of her hand against her face, trying to pretend the tears weren't there. "I don't think I want to see you again. Or–or maybe not for a long time, at least. But I want you to live out the rest of your life in peace, the same as everyone else, and I don't care what else you do with it besides that. We're going to fix what the Light took from us and I want you to be there to see it. I want you to live. That's all."

She hunched her shoulders and whirled to face away from him, stalking out of the small room. In the shadows Ran'jit could see the glinting, gaudy form of the fortune teller resting a comforting arm on her shoulder before drawing her away. The bodyguard remained, gunblade up on his shoulder, glaring at him.

Perhaps the man would kill him anyway, and simply tell Minfilia that he'd escaped in the night. It was what Ran'jit would do. You saw a threat and you removed it, one of the simplest lessons his people learned. (And if he'd finished the job back in Amh Areng and slit the thug's throat, perhaps things would have gone very differently.)

But instead the bodyguard slid his arm back and returned the gunblade to its holder behind his shoulderblades. "She's more than you deserve, you know," he said. 

"I'm aware."

"More than either of us deserves. I can't…" He wavered, his hand on the doorknob. "I can't say I wasn't headed down your path either."

And then the door was quickly closed again, before the thug could let more slip. Ran'jit gingerly laid back on the bed, casting his gaze up to the tiny square of stars.

<i>Live.</i>

At eighty-eight, wasn't that enough living? He'd already far outlived his father. His children too, save the final stolen one. To live and still bear the weight seemed a terrible punishment compared to the blissful benefits of death.

…Ah. Now it became clear.

[redwayfarers]

Torn between placing Nika's transition into DRK canonically immediately after Heavensward or in the later patches after it.

Because like, his friend who was a better person than him died and he figured that if he's to find Minfilia and rebuild the Scions he has to be as good as he can mentally so maybe he leaves his lute with Alphinaud and Tataru and just tells them that he has something to do and he chases that pain and grief and sorrow. Maybe he returns after few months of no contact with people whatsoever with a giant greatsword and maybe he can breathe easier at last! Maybe he's trying to be better actually!

But then I know shit will hit the fan and a lot of that hard work will be put to the test and it will hurt like hell but hey, at least he's... He's better equipped to deal with it? Sword therapy is sword therapy after all