#mind you im running on no sleep and im quite literally being held together by candy

[clown-pire]

as someone who experiences auditory hallucinations and also listens to jerma often while i work it was really only a matter of time before it fucking happened

[euphoricsunflowers]

forever — yoo kihyun

a/n: originally supposed to be a fic about him crying and then i got soft so it became.. this. enjoy 💕 please welcome me back warmly :)

word count: 1.6k

content: sub!kihyun, dom!reader, afab!reader, riding, mentions of hair pulling but not in a very sexual manner-, lots and lots of talk of hickies, the kiddies (kihyun tiddies) come out to play so some nip play, jokingly calling him mommy look i love (his) boobs, just very soft and domestic, possibly a little sad.

“baby, you’re home!” kihyun says. he sounds tired, but excited to finally see you. looking at him, his eyes tell you how exhausted he is, but his soft smile fixes any bad feelings still lingering from the day.

“oh god, the day just kept on going and going, felt like it was never going to end,” you murmur, walking up to him as he stands up from the couch to give him a kiss, “oh how i missed you.”

he runs his fingers through your hair while humming to fill the silence that falls upon the atmosphere. it’s comfortable. it’s like he’s the definition of comfort, “i made you dinner but it got cold so i put it in the fridge. let me know when you want to reheat it.”

“thank you,” you mumble against his skin, cheekily pressing kisses to his neck just to be cute, but then you start giggling.

“what’s so funny?” he asks, turning his head a bit to try and face you but you stop him.

“you still have a hickey on your neck.”

“im sure you do too! i left quite a few a couple nights ago,” he groans.

“yeah, on my thighs. i can hide that easily,” you brush him off as he huffs, “let me guess, they‘ve been making fun of you for having to get that covered up?”

“they make fun of me for literally anything i do,” he sighs, “i’ll breathe weirdly and they’ll mock me. there was no escaping this fate.”

“i’m so sorry, my prince. i shouldn’t have left that little guy there if i knew you’d be taunted for it,” you say sarcastically, and he rolls his eyes, “really though, it’s darker than it should be after a few days. i must have got you good.”

“of course the one day you take your sweet time with me,” he huffs, “it’s all good. i don’t mind it. i love satisfying you, whatever that means.”

“whatever that means? ooh, he’s feeling dangerous tonight,” you smile away from him, acting suspicious on purpose, “i wouldn’t say that if i were you.”

“what? you got some really weird kink i don’t already know about? do you secretly like toes or something of that sort?”

“well no, you can tell because i’m never not wearing at least socks around you i literally hate to-” you cut yourself off when you see how amused he looks, “i just think you should be a little more cautious about how you speak.”

“and why’s that?”

you sigh, “because i will definitely take you up on your offer on ‘satisfying me, whatever that means’.”

“well, my love, it’s not that late-”

“ki, it is that late-”

“is it really?” oh no, he’s gone into teasing-and-charming-until-he-gets-what-he-wants mode, “is it too late? because i’m starting to feel like it wouldn’t be so awful if you were to leave a couple more marks, maybe even pull my hair-”

“baby i love you so much and i’d do literally anything else for you, but i will not be pulling your hair. i refuse to be held accountable for ripping out an idol’s precious hair.”

“but you’re fine with being held accountable for ruining an idol’s precious skin? you know people lose their minds over how flawless my skin looks.”

“i’m sure they do, ki, because i’m one of them.”

he groans, “oh god, that was cringey, even for us.”

the room goes silent as you ponder what you wanted to do. i’m tired and i have a full day tomorrow, i can’t afford to lose more sleep- you ponder while you absentmindedly run your hands against his sides, tickling him slightly. he holds himself together but not enough for you to not notice.

“okay fine, you got me. i have officially been won over,” you say dramatically, as if he had just secured a major victory, “what do you want?”

he thinks for a moment, then grabs your hand and kisses it, “i want you.”

“very clever, baby. be more specific, would you?”

he sighs with similar dramatics, “you said you had a long day, and even just putting up with me looks like it’s tiring you out. wouldn’t it be great if you had a loving boyfriend who loves it when you get out all that energy with him?”

“yes, i suppose that would be nice.”

“then how about you use that loving boyfriend to satisfy yourself?”

“what is with you and-”

“don’t even say that-”

“who said you were in control here mr. ‘fuck your boyfriend to get out all your stress’?”

“i’m not! i’m just point out you’re so hung up on what i’m saying, and not at all hung up on the fact that your loving boyfriend is desperate for you, honey.”

“oh, well, in that case, i guess i have to give him what he wants.”

“i guess you do.”

and that was that. you were already all over each other, the only difference is that it’s on your bed and he’s under you instead of being in front of you. that and his shirt is already off.

“you’re so obsessed with marking me like i’m your territory. what are you, a dog?”

“you are my territory,” you murmur, dragging your teeth against his neck, lowering yourself even more until kisses against his stomach have him shivering, “and i intend to make that known.”

“yeah, while my stylists cover it up. all that happens is make my crazy fans think that i’m sleeping with every girl and guy in the city.”

“are you?”

“this is a trap isn’t it? no, baby, i’m not a whore.”

“hey, give whores some respect,” you slap his stomach lightly, “besides, you’re right i suppose. you’re not a whore, you’re just mine.”

“guess i walked right into that one huh?”

“yeah you did, baby,” you smile, then continuing to suck and bite on his stomach to keep leaving marks. they almost look like- “wait, let me take a photo, without your face in it obviously. please.”

“that’s fine, but what did you do?”

you smile with childish excitement as you snap the photo of his stomach full of hickies, “i made a heart.” he looks down, and you definitely.. made a heart. it would be cute if he didn’t have to wear a mesh shirt with a jacket in the morning. whoops. maybe the fans will comment on how conservative he dresses again. as much as it annoys him, it’s probably preferable to the alternative.

“oh, you just look so cute, ki, i don’t even know what to do with myself.”

“if you don’t know can i put in a request?” he says teasingly, “can we fuck already?”

you roll your eyes, “oh baby, are you getting so horny that it’s unbearable?”

“yeah, i am. my dick is crying to me.”

“shameless. i love it,” you undo the button on his pants, pulling them, along with his underwear, down with his assistance, “oh, hello. you look happy to see me.”

“please don’t talk to my dick.”

“what? poor guy needs some attention too!”

“i’m literally gonna cry.”

you smirk at the mistake he just made, “go ahead, you know that i’d like that.”

“i’m sure you would, definitely more than i like this conversation,” he sighs like a drama queen again.

then how about we quit talking. you touch him, tease him, give him just enough, then just barely not enough, then nowhere near enough. he knew this was to be expected, your hands seemed to have a mind of their own and were even more of a tease than you sometimes.

and then you give him what he wants, you sink down on his cock. he doesn’t resist, just lies there, letting you do whatever you want to him. you choose the pace, the movements you make, the what your hands do, what his hands can do. you control it entirely.

you chose to pin his arms above his head, fondling his chest with the other. using your thumb to play with one of his nipples.

“im not sure if you’re more obsessed with marking me or touching my chest.”

you smirk, “all i’m saying is,” you pause to slow down and catch your breath, “these? half the reason you’re under me right now.”

“oh really?”

“for sure, mommy,” you say with a laugh, “but honestly? i just love every part of you, these included. forgive me if i’m handsy.”

“no can do- i really… really like it when you get handsy. makes me feel like,” his voice cracks, you can see just how worked up he’s gotten, “like i’m desired. like my body is good enough for you.”

what always gets him to shut up without him knowing what you’re doing is spelling his name with your movements when you ride him, but you don’t forget to whisper in his ear about how perfect his body is and how perfect he is.

“i just- i really love you. you’re perfect to me, too,” he whimpers as he moans, closer and closer, “i want you forever. i want you- you to love me forever.”

“you can have me forever, and i absolutely will,” you smile, “do you wanna cum, baby?” he nods frantically, “okay, okay, you can cum. think about how good i make you feel, how safe it feels to be in my room, under me. give me all your trust, and i will never let you go.”

—

taglist: @lovingonrepeat @neosincity @sub-hoshi-enthusiast @multidreams-and-desires @hobilluvvr @vanillaknj @treasure-hwa @fleurshopsub @rubyscloud9 @silencefavarchive @nct99 @bigkpopstan @monstaxdirtywonk @domreaderrecs @mochi-ficz @feelslikelove @honey-and-strawberry and always feel free to ask to be added to/removed from the taglist (especially since it’s been so long since i last had something to tag you all in!) <3

[h2bakugou]

hi i really like your stories! can i request a bakugoxfemreader where bakugo gets hit by a love quirk and it kinda lingers for a bit and everyone teases him. then it goes away and he kinda humiliates y/n and she goes off on him and he feels bad? fluff ending please? <3!!

a/n: hiii!! thank you so much hun! of course, this idea is actually really cute omg skfkdjh yes lets do this

summary: after getting hit by a love quirk that makes bakugou a little more interested in you which only makes everyone tease him. when its effects begin to wear off, however, he insists on teasing you.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, some angst im so sorry what is it with me making like borderline love angst fics lately yall-

wordcount: 2.2k

;cut for length;

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“We’ll just have to wait for the effects to wear off, there’s nothing we can do.” Recovery Girl was telling the truth, whether Bakugou believed it or not. He was fed up with this.

“You’ll return to the dorms, be thankful we have tomorrow off.” Mr. Aizawa instructed, letting Bakugou leave to head back to the dorms. Grumbling something under his breath, Aizawa shook his head as he watched Bakugou leave past the doors.

“Look after him.” Mr. Aizawa stated to the few class members that had come to see if he was okay. Those few students consisted of Deku, Mina, Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari, and you.

You were worried about Bakugou. Not only that he’d be dealing with the effects of a quirk for however long it lasted, which Recovery Girl estimated up to 72 hours.

But because the blast that hit him was hard. He’d took a pretty good beating from the villain alone, but he sure showed them who was boss. But not before declaring his love for you.

It was an effect of the quirk.

Bakugou was now feeling the effects of being madly in love with you. You happened to be right beside him when he was hit, making you the first person he saw when you helped him up off the ground, making you the target for his feelings.

Of course, he was under influence of the quirk, so you knew not to get ahead of yourself.

It felt awful. You felt worse than you could’ve felt. Watching your crush parade around calling you ‘his’ and acting like you really were an item, all while the rest of your classmates teased him, finally calling him soft and vulnerable.

But for the sake of not letting anyone know how you truly felt, you kept a smile on your face. You kept your head up, and only let it fall when you were in the privacy of your room, all while Bakugou blew up your phone with texts.

The effects of this god forsaken love quirk were at it’s peak on the second day when Bakugou attached himself to you. Holding you, hugging you, holding your hand, he had to be touching you or he claimed he was in agonizing pain.

So you just let it slide. You didn’t mind it, or mind his warm breath on your neck when he laid on you in public. His breath against your neck only made your face hotter, but you knew it was just the quirk.

You had to remind yourself that it was just the quirk.

“Kacchan’s all soft for you! How cute.” Kaminari teased. You shook your head. Then you heard the snap of a phone camera. 

Kaminari now had a collection of pictures, all consisted of Bakugou clinging onto you somehow.

Sending it in the group chat shared between the Bakusquad, Mina was the first to respond, quoting that you should take him out on a date while you had the chance.

You didn’t feel right taking advantage of him. None of it felt right. But you couldn’t peel him off of you. You wanted this to actually be him, to actually be Katsuki Bakugou holding you close, whispering that he loved you in your ear just loud enough for you to hear.

“I’m gonna head up to my room.” You mentioned, finally pulling Bakugou’s arms off of you, but he quickly stood up.

“Where are you going, Babe?” Bakugou’s voice was the same, and it made chills run down your spine as you heard it.

“Awe!” Kaminari smiled, already shipping the two of you together.

“Shut up dunce face.” Bakugou turned to Kaminari to insult him. Kaminari just smiled and hugged him, Bakugou hugging him back for once.

You took the opportunity to run to your room. 

Looking through the group chat that included Bakugou, you saw nothing but photos of Bakugou being nice. Being kind, being not himself. Hugging you, and others, being nice to Deku, like without screaming at him.

Most of the photos included you and him somehow, whether it be like just now where you were cuddling together on the couch, or how he’d held your hand.

There was still a bit of Bakugou that hadn’t completely disappeared, that was beginning to show up more and more as the effects of the quirk began to wear off.

But the pounding on your door was more than enough to keep you out of your thoughts.

Kaminari and Sero were lurking around the corner, keeping an eye on Bakugou as he knocked on your dorm door.

You quickly opened the door thinking something was wrong.

“Bakugou-”

His lips slammed onto yours, with just enough time for Kaminari to snap a picture.

Pushing him off of you, you could feel your heart racing. You shook your head and just stared at the blonde as he smiled at you.

“Go to bed, Katsuki.” You showed him your phone to indicate that it was way past his usual bedtime.

“Let me kiss you one more time idiot.” Bakugou’s voice was still so eerily familiar. It was the same one that called you a dumbass on the regular, the same one that you heard yelling as you sparred.

You didn’t know Kaminari and Sero had seen the kiss, let alone taken a picture of it. 

“This isn’t you. Just go to sleep.” You were hurting, more than you should’ve been. Why couldn’t you just tease him like the rest of your friends? Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be Bakugou?

You stayed in your room the following day, asking Jiro to politely bring you some food during lunch and dinner. 

She didn’t ask questions, but she had a feeling she knew what was wrong. But she didn’t bother you, she just told you to feel better and went along with her day. 

Bakugou’s texts eased up and by the end of the night, they had completely stopped.

Finally, after about two and a half days, the effects had completely worn off and the usual grumpy, egotistical, and crass Bakugou was back.

Class had gone by fine, you sat in your seat beside Bakugou, knowing he knew. Knowing he’d seen the texts, the pictures, all of it. He was a bomb waiting to go off, quite literally.

As the time dwindled down, you were on edge. 

And finally it happened.

Heading to the stairs to go back up to your dorm for some alone time, to hopefully get your mind off of Bakugou entirely, he stopped you, slamming you into the wall near the stairs.

“We need to talk.” Bakugou’s eyebrows were knitted together, his red eyes were glaring into your own (e/c) ones.

“What’s there to talk about? I know you’ve seen it all already.” You looked away, taking interest in the floor.

“I know you know I know. Don’t think that it was actually me.” Bakugou didn’t want to say that. Despite being under the influence of some love quirk, those were his true feelings.

Sure keeping it all bottled up was his way of doing things, but that quirk freed up a lot of his emotions. How he felt toward you. 

He didn’t want to be saying all of this, but he was.

“Don’t you think that I already know that?” You looked back up at him, hurt written all over your face.

Kaminari and Kirishima peeked their heads around the corner watching as the two of you talked. More classmates came over, watching the exchange.

“You should. I don’t like you.” Bakugou was lying. He just couldn’t say the truth. It was easier to lie about it, it was easier to keep it all inside, but seeing you like this was destroying him.

“I have liked you since we met back at the entrance exams. Do you know how awful it was to sit and watch you act like you were actually caring for me? Like you had even just the tiniest bit of interest in me? I knew it wasn’t you. I knew it was just some stupid quirk. I knew it wasn’t fucking you. Do you know how bad I wanted to kiss you back when you kissed me? Do you know how bad it hurt t shove you away like I didn’t fucking love you?” You shoved Bakugou back, now painfully aware of the audience watching you.

“Hey-”

“Save it. It’s time for you to go to bed right? Eight-thirty?” You turned and began to walk up the stairs, leaving him behind.

You picked up your pace once you were out of sight, tears beginning to flood from your eyes as you clenched your chest, your heart finally shattering into a million pieces.

“Woah dude.” Kaminari approached Bakugou.

“What?” Bakugou stared at the blonde, watching as Kaminari just sighed.

“You might want to go talk to her.” Kirishima stepped in.

“I know.” Bakugou mumbled, proceeding to head up the stairs after you.

Bakugou had his hands tucked in his pockets as he approached your dorm door. He didn’t know what to say, or how to say it.

In the middle of searching for the right thing to say, all he could think about was how he hugged you, how his hand fit perfectly in yours. How your lips felt for the few seconds they were on his.

Knocking quietly, Bakugou looked away as you pulled the door open. You didn’t say anything as you stared at him, your eyes red and puffy as tears still fell from them.

You went to close the door but Bakugou stopped it, pushing it back open as you took a few steps back into your room.

You were silent save for the muffled sounds of your crying which you cushioned with the sleeve of your sweater. You didn’t face him either. 

Bakugou stared at your back. He stood quietly as he searched harder to find the words to say, to fix this mess that he’d made. Or at least had a hand in making.

“I am an asshole.” Bakugou started. Whether it bruised his ego or not, it was the truth. He couldn’t believe he’d actually said that.

You didn’t reply, despite wanting to agree with him.

“But I am so fucking in love with you.” Bakugou raised his voice just enough so you could hear the strain behind his words. Your eyes widened as you froze in place.

“And I can’t explain how I feel. I’ve never been good at it. And I was heavily influenced by that stupid fucking quirk but I swear, behind it all, I wasn’t doing it absentmindedly. I love you.” Bakugou admitted.

“And I saw all of the shit that happened and I just wanted to erase it. Because I didn’t know how you felt. I felt like an asshole even more for acting like a dumbass.”

“And I know I am an asshole but just please look at me.” Bakugou pleaded. His voice was soft again. You slowly turned around and met his eyes.

“I don’t regret anything. And I certainly don’t regret this.” Bakugou took a few steps, almost like he was running at you, and cupped your wet cheeks, bring your lips to his.

It was perfect. The feeling of your lips on his. The way they fit against his. The familiar feeling that Bakugou recalled the first time he felt your lips. 

He savored it, even the vaguely salty taste from your tears. He didn’t stop, he couldn’t. He needed this. It was his antidote. You kissed him back, your hands slowly rising to meet his.

And when your palms cupped his hands, he pulled away, holding your face still as he butted his forehead to yours.

“I fucking love you, dumbass.” Bakugou smiled, the same smile he wore whenever he was being a jerk, the same smile he taunted all your classmates with, the smile that you knew belonged to Katsuki Bakugou.

“You are an asshole.” You cried, more tears falling from your eyes as you shook in his hands. Bakugou’s eyes widened, not knowing how to react.

“I love you too.” You smiled. It was all Bakugou needed to pull you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you, holding you like you were going to slip away.

After a few hours of explaining and talking, the two of you were on the same page, completely understanding of how one another felt, despite it being difficult to open up about it.

Waking up the next morning in each other’s arms was not how you expected the school day to start. You rubbed your eyes as you stared at a sleeping Katsuki hugging your side. 

“Hey, wake up.” You smiled, nudging his shoulder. Bakugou quickly opened his eyes at the sound of your voice.

“Oh shit.” Bakugou glanced at the clock that sat on your bedside table and darted up.

“I’ll see you in class, love you.” Bakugou gave you a quick kiss before running out of your room and over to his.

You smiled, feeling so much better. Talking about it helped. And Bakugou was now proud to call you his. And even more so, he wasn’t ashamed of the pictures taken of him, or the dozens of messages he’d sent to you.

He was going to fill his camera roll with dozens more of pictures of you and him. Ones that allowed both of you to be open and loving toward one another, without some second-hand quirk getting in the way.

And it started with one picture of Bakugou kissing you while you laid together.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[wizkiddx]

ohmyword if your doing req can u pls do another fluffy, domestic one bcos honeymoon morning is some i read daily AHAH maybe like the reader gets ill and toms away or something???? pls just anything fluffy

awh thank you for being so sweet abt honeymoon morning - I do think that's one of my favourite concepts ive done!! and I hope this suits what you want, im not so sure myself but I tried :)))

summary: you try to hide being ill from Tom before he leaves but inevitably it doesn't all go to plan

warnings: mentions of being sick, I think that's all - basically just fluff 

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The night hadn’t really gone typically at all. Instead of relishing the last night with Tom for a few months, your body seemed to have different plans. Hence why now you were curled up in a ball on the sofa, staring blankly at the TV, while the washing machine whirred next-door in the utility room and the chemical smell of cleaning products enveloped the downstairs. At least when you were sick, you were a clean sick. 

You were also a quiet sick. You had been pulled from your sleep by the uncomfortable heavy sensation from your stomach barely an hour after you’d both headed to bed. Why was beyond you - what had been important in that moment was to get away from Tom. He was flying back to set tomorrow (or given the early hours currently, lunchtime today was more appropriate) and only had a single day to settle before launching back into filming. So the poor boy was inevitably, given time zones, going to be running on poor quality plane sleep for the next couple of days - you wanted to five him a final night of peace, at least. 

As a result, you’d crept downstairs and since then spent a large chunk of the night making good friends with the downstairs toilet bowl. Once you were absolutely certain there was literally nothing else in your stomach, you chucked some bleach down the loo; then stripped your *stained* pyjamas and chucked them in the washing machine; changed into some freshly washed stuff in the utility (comprising of joggers and one of Tom’s hoodies); before you could curl up in the corner of the sofa. 

And that’s how you’d been for an hour or so. Still feeling grim, unable to fall asleep as much as you were trying to and generally just lying in a ball of self pity. And that was fine… until you heard the unmistakable slow padding of footsteps down the stairs. 

“Love?… -hy’re you up?” His voice was drenched in sleep, making it pull on your heart strings, even before he had rounded the sofa and come into view. Dressed only in his heather grey joggers only, Tom’s curls sat ontop of his head wildly - sticking up at all ridiculous angles. And then there was his puffy eyes, barely open as he slowly processed the sight of you curled up on the sofa. 

“Just couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to keep you up tossing and turning. Why are you up bub?”

“Don’t sleep good without you… you know kicking me and stealing the duvet and stuff.” Never one to maintain a level of seriousness and ‘soppiness’ - it was instantly turned back to the typical relationship of the two of you. While rolling your eyes, you still chuckled at him in the low light of the TV. Tom took the opportunity to perch on the edge of the sofa, sitting so he was grinning loopily down at you. “You fancied putting a wash on too?” 

“...I don’t know just trying to be productive?” He was catching on, he was suspicious. You could tell. His eyebrows furrowed together and he delicately hovered the back of his hand over your forehead, feeling the undeniable heat radiate into his skin. 

“And bleach?”

“Toilet needed doing anyway.” You mumbled, head turning to stare back at the TV- knowing his eyes were piercing into your soul. He sighed, in your peripheries you could see him shaking his head in slight frustration, as his hand reached for yours, giving it a squeeze. 

“You’re ill aren’t you?”

“I’m alright-“ he cut you off with a low warning of your name, making you cower slightly because he’d caught you in a lie. “I threw up a couple times but now I just feel a bit ‘eugh’”. That was, to be fair, a completely truthful description of your evening and current situation. Maybe not put most eloquently but Tom definitely got the messsage, somehow reading your mind by lightly massaging your abdomen with his hand that wasn’t clasped with yours. 

“Come on... let’s get you back to bed.” As much as you wanted to argue with him, it was clear any attempt would be futile. One of things you love so much about Tom is how fiercely protective he is of those dear to him. His circles progressively shrunk as he learnt who he could trust and who ... well he couldn’t. The culling had left a handful of people who were almost central to Tom’s life - somehow you’d managed to wangle your way into these select few too. 

So no, there was not point arguing or suggesting he puts his own welfare first. 

After putting you back int the double bed, Tom had disappeared for 10 minutes or so, when he reinterred the room it was clear he’d been busy. His tongue was stuck out in focus as he tried to balance different mugs and plates on a tray to you. Even if you felt shitty, for a moment by just seeing how far this guy had gone for you - you’d never felt better. 

“Okay there’s some lemsip with honey to settle your stomach, water and a slice of toast just because you should probably see if you can keep something down.”

“You really are the sweetest.”

“And you’re the illest so get drinking love.” He laughed softly in the yellow glow of the bedside lamps that illuminated the room. It highlighted his prominent jaw line and the way his eyes crinkled in the corners and given your slightly off state, you might’ve spent a bit too long ogling at the man cosied up next to you. Never would there be a time you weren’t grateful for him. 

Turns out you couldn’t keep the toast down but the experience was somewhat less horrific - this time you were spilling your guts out into your ensuite, while Tom held your hair and rubbed your back. Eventually things settled, allowing The two of you nestle back into bed, Tom wrapping his arms round your stomach to lightly trace random patterns on the skin underneath your hoodie - as you nestled back into his chest more. 

“I really love you Tom”

“Love you darling, now get some rest and shout if you need anything.” You hummed lightly, almost letting go to sleep now your felt a bit less like your intenpstines were wringing themselves together. But not quite. 

“I’m gonna miss you and your stupid face.”

“We can talk about that when your better” It was as if Tom thought whispering and drawing circles on your stomach was going to deafen you to his words. Yes your stomach wasn’t having a lot of fun and you were tired - but you were not deaf. It was oh so predictable too, he loved to be absolutely ridiculous. Indignantly you huffed, rolling over and eyeing him intently. 

“What’s there to talk about?” 

“Just…. Just if your sick you shouldn’t be on your own. I could always just-“

“No no you couldn’t. You and me both know for a fact you do have a choice and even if you did it be pissing off a hell of a lot of people.” He pouted, you could tell even in the darkness of the night. 

“I hate having to leave you though, especially like this.”

“Yes but you love your work too. I’ll be here when you get back… maybe just with a bit less intestines.” Laughing at that, Tom pulled you onto his chest, pressing his tips to the crown of your head as your burrowed into his side. 

It can’t have taken more than 5 seconds for you to fall asleep, exhausted from the illness, the stupid time in the morning and maybe slightly for dealing with Toms idiocy.  

You were awoken in the morning to Tom stroking your hair gently, all dressed and ready for his flight - but still finding the time to fuss over you and wanting to say a proper goodbye. After practically ordering his to leave… you best believe he dropped in the fact he’d got both Sam and Harry to come round as your babysitter. 

He was an idiot. But he was your kind, caring , beautiful and loving idiot. 

[burnedbyshoto]

a brush of luck

— In a world where soulmates exist you can communicate yours with a brush of a pen. It just doesn’t help that you are a certified idiot with a skill in misplacing things. —

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pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: fluff, angst, soulmate!au, cursing

word count: 4,229

a/n: this is for the bnaharem collab and I was super horrible and was not ready and i just woke up and threw this together please dont hate me uhuhuhuhhh see the masterlist here!!!

message to join my tag list!

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“Hey, y/l/n, you forget this!”

Your hair was falling into your face, your face flustered, and your binders filled with paper seemed to be liquid as they slowly fell to the ground.

Kaminari stood behind you when you turned around. His lips were picked into a kind smile. It was a teasing one too by the small glint in his eyes while he held onto your backpack and phone. A look of self-realized stupidity washed over your face when your head threw back into a groan. How stupid were you, really?

“I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, throwing your things onto the nearest desk. You felt the tips of your ears burn with embarrassment when Kaminari helped you slip on your backpack and pocketed your phone in the jacket pocket. “I swear I’m the most forgetful person in the world.”

“Well, you do really clinch the title of the person who would forget their head if it wasn’t on their shoulders.”

Snorting, you shoved him with your shoulder, and he helped you regather your things with a low groan.

“Let’s see the tattoo,” you grin, ready to head out once again. Groaning loudly, Kaminari didn’t seem to want to give in to your demand, but still, with a twitch of his eye and a shove of his sleeve, he showed off his arm. “You know what, I’m going to say it—”

“I’m going to say it, I don’t care that you broke your elbows,” Kaminari finishes the phrase with you with a snort.

“Do you think it’s the first thing out of their mouth or matching tattoo?” you asked curiously when you blond best friend also prepped to leave the classroom for the day. 

“I hope its the first thing out of their mouth, imagine how fucking ultra sexy foxy hot that would be,” Kaminari moaned, his eyes rolling to the back of his eyes at the thought. Gagging at the visual horniness of that thought, you walked away, grinning at the way that Kaminari stumbled over his feet to catch up with you.

This was the world you lived in, the world of soulmates.

You weren’t sure when they had first started, but you know that it wasn’t always a phenomenon that was around. When you roamed the internet looking at old, old stories on soulmates, these theories, these worlds were built on one single concept.

They wrote about a world of black and white for everyone until that fateful moment, or matching tattoos for everyone. But no, this world was much more complicated, much more detailed. Yes, in the world there were a lot of theories that ended up being true, but the thing they didn’t see coming was that every couple — every polyamorous relationship consisted of a unique theme.

Kaminari’s soulmate was linked with tattoo’s, and the purpose behind said symbol was unknown, unheard of until he met them. Yours, as you could guess and know, was also different. Pressing your fingers against the pen that sat on the inside pocket of your uniform jacket, you smiled when Kaminari’s arm was thrown around you.

“At least you’ve never lost or forgotten that pen of yours, that would be dangerous!”

“I promise I will never ever forget it.”

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You sat on your bed nearing midnight. You were cocooned into your blankets flipping through your Hero Lawbook that you were supposed to have read months ago, but now finally was. Humming to yourself, you read through the apparent laws and the not so evident laws.

For instance, there is a law that Pro Heroes are not allowed to eat off the edge of buildings anymore! American transfer students had littered so much it became a law!

Snorting to yourself, you flipped the page.

But something warm pressed into your forearm, the most heated energy that sent shivers down your spine. It was comforting as it was ethereal. The second your body recognized the feeling, the Hero Lawbook went soaring across the room, and you grabbed your pen that was waiting at your side for ages now. 

Hi, sorry I’m just able to get back to you. I had a bunch of homework and friends who just let me leave them.

Smiling to yourself, you twirled the pen in your fingers and scribbled down your response:

It’s all good, I’ve been studying this entire time too, was just bored and didn’t respond to you earlier today!

Your soulmate theme was straightforward and quite comprehensive — it was dubbed the Forearm and Pen theme (you hated that theme). You could communicate with your soulmate by writing with the pen on your arm, but it only worked with that pen, nothing else.

The year you were to turn sixteen, you received a pen from literally out of the blue. You remember celebrating New Year with your class in your first year at U.A.; it had been an enjoyable night! Everything in life was still going fantastic, and your class was finally past the excellent friend’s point and felt like a genuine family. You remember hugging and telling everyone good night, still being fifteen at that point, and stumbling back to your room exhausted.

When you had gotten back to your room, you didn’t even undress; simply tugging off your pants and removing your bra, you threw yourself onto the bed. But you had landed on something stiff and painful, groaning your hands shuffled for whatever it was that you fell on, and when you grabbed it, you froze at the sight of the white box. 

Was this a gift?

Your entire life, you had always wondered if you did have a soulmate, most people you knew after all had soulmate markers that appeared since birth. But you were perfectly normal. You saw all colors; you had no shared pain; there was no tattoo, no mind link, no dream meetings.

Nothing.

You were normal.

Sighing, you opened the box, hoping that it was from someone you at the very least respected.

Inside was a silver pen.

You blinked your eyes rapidly, unsure of what you were looking at, there were no initials, no engraving, nothing. 

It was an exquisite pen, and despite what you thought, it was very, very light. Frowning, your fingers pushed down on the pen, but there was nothing that came out, was there no ink?

Shrugging, you dragged it against your arm feeling the way that the cool tip delicately massaged your arm. It felt nice.

“Holy shit!”

Your eyes saw the pretty grey silvery ink on your forearm. It stood out against your skin, the ink appearing nowhere else but your arm, and then it hit you.

This was for your soulmate!

With excitement tearing through you, your exhaustion no longer bitting on your skull, but the overwhelming need to know that this was for your soulmate shook you awake. Twirling the pen in your fingers, you couldn’t help but start writing.

OMG HI

You sat there staring at your forearm, unsure as to what to do next. What do you do next?

Hey?

If your heart could be anywhere but your chest, you were nearly positive it existed within your throat at this very moment. This was nervewracking, holy shit.

Sorry, you don’t know me, but I’m ___ ___.

You frowned when you tried to write your name, it was stopping you.

It seems that we do have some rules to this entire thing.

They responded back to you, and as if they could hear you, you groaned loudly.

This soulmate shit was already stopping your excitement, it seemed.

From that very first night, the two of you were able to discover a few things. First off, anything too personal was not allowed to be written out. So names, location, and gender were the biggest ones. Birthdays were not, and you were quick to find out that both of you were still fifteen. Second of all, just because you couldn’t figure out where exactly you both were located, you did manage to put together that you were both in Japan. Third of all, your soulmate was a Hero in Training just like you and was a male. Last, of all, you were quick to realize that you were in love with the way your body felt like it was gently warming up whenever he messaged you.

I think I deserve a round of applause.

You grinned after writing your sentence, your eyes watching while the warmth filled your body and his writing slowly appearing on your forearm.

Did you not forget anything today? I find that hard to believe.

You had to suppress a scream.

WELL, IT HAPPENED! I GOT EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO BRING BACK TO MY ROOM WITH ME!!

Weren’t you the one who forgot to bring your entire backpack to school the other day?

NO! I said I almost did, but my bestie got it for me!

How do you forget everything? I think you should try to make a list to make sure that you always have things you need for the day.

... I do… but I always lose the list, and im always running late…

You’re the worst…

Congrats bbg, I’m your soulmate

The world really doesn’t want to bless me with a good life, it seems…

HEY, THAT’S MEAN!

The two of you banter for what seems like hours, the night sky fading from blackness to the deep blue of the sky right before the sunrise. You had spent the entire night curled into your pillow, your face shoved into the soft fabric to suppress your chortling snorts because you geniunely enjoyed interacting with your soulmate. But it was late, and you both had classes early that next morning.

Okay, asshole, I need to sleep! I got this stupid test tomorrow that I did not study for. I'll write to ya tomorrow!! Goodnight!!!

Don’t be rude to your soulmate :( but goodnight, and good luck on that test, sorry for keeping you up.

Smiling at his words, you put the pen to your forearm one last time.

I will never ever accept your apology for making me stay up, I love talking with you, goodnight soulmate, sweet dreams.

You placed the pen down, your eyes fluttering close, heavy with sleep. But still, no exhaustion could suppress the fluttering warmth in your body when words appeared on your arm. 

Sweet dreams, soulmate.

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“Fuck, sorry,” you groaned when you sleepily slammed into the person standing in front of you. 

Blinking tiredness away from your eyes — poorly at that too — you focused up at Shouto. Grinning, you waved at your classmate, who looked almost as exhausted as you felt and definitely looked.

“It’s okay,” he nodded at you stepping to the side so that the two of you could walk side to side.

“You ready for that test today?” you asked after moments of silence.

You and Todoroki Shouto were not as close as you would like to be. Since day one, you had always had a thing for the duality of a man, and while it was mostly superficial feelings derived from the fact that he was attractive above anything else, it still made you awkward around him. At the time, your feelings were still holding you down, you always fully believed that you had no soulmate, so you thought maybe you could sweep him off his feet. It was rumored that his scar covered up his own soulmate mark, so there was no way for him to know who his soulmate was.

Selfishly and embarrassingly, you hoped that you could have him.

Then you met your soulmate, and things changed.

But now you and your classmates were all eighteen and held the world in your hands, yet you couldn’t speak to him usually still.

“There’s no test today?” Shouto stilled, his eyes narrowing in confusion, and your eyes screwed too.

“Isn’t it… Friday? We have a Hero Law test?”

“Y/l/n,” Shouto snorted a grin spreading across his features, “It’s Wednesday.”

If there was a god, he would shoot you right now.

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment while you walked faster to the classroom, Shouto keeping up with your pace easily, he was taller than you after all.

“Shut up,” you warned, your gaze not reaching Shouto’s who was staring at you.

“I wasn’t speaking.”

“I could hear you thinking!”

Shouto put on a smirk, his eyes teasing you, and his mouth dropping to speak, but there was a loud interruption.

“Y/L/N-CHAAAANNNNNN!!!!”

Both of you turned to see Kaminari chasing after you, his arms waving, looking out of breath.

“YOU FORGOT YOUR JACKET AND TIE!”

Shouto chuckled beside you, and you stared down to see that you were, in fact, only wearing half of your uniform. If there’s a god, he will end you now, you thought.

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You're not serious right now, are you?

Going on three years of knowing your soulmate, or at the very least talking with him, you thought you had a good understanding of who he was. He was strong, powerful, and kind. He came off a bit standoffish at times but was the dumbest person you’ve ever known. Common sense was not his friend, and that was okay. 

Even at times when the two of you had your differing opinions because it did happen, it never snowballed more into a small annoyance that the two of you would apologize for and move on. But this was something that shouldn’t have had become a fight, it shouldn’t have been anything more potent than a difference of opinion, but when you suggested entertaining the thought of when the two of you would finally meet, he was uncharacteristically cold. 

Hurt by his tone, you told him, and he said you to grow up until it became this written fight.

Why couldn’t you talk about meeting?

Why didn’t he want to think about what would happen when the two of you would meet?

It was getting ugly for no reason, a fight just to fight, and it was making you nauseous.

But he crossed a line that couldn’t be fixed when he wrote a simple sentence:

Just because you’re my soulmate doesn’t mean I have to love you, meet you, or marry you.

So there you sat, your bottom lip trembling with tears streaking down your blotchy face. He wasn’t being serious, was he? There was no way… no fucking way this was him. The warmth that flooded your body with his new message felt ice-cold, poisoning you from the inside out while you read it.

You're my soulmate, but I have no obligation to do anything with you now or ever. The world chose you for me, not me. I didn’t choose you. I don’t owe you anything here. Soulmates are bullshit and don’t fucking bother messaging me again if you expect me to fall in love with you just because our “souls are connected”

It was needless to say that you didn’t respond back, not because you felt like he should love you because of your connected souls, but because your sobbing and broken emotions left you curled into a ball, ready for a sleepless slumber to take you.

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“You don’t look too hot,” Kaminari told you, hitting you with his foot when your bleary and puffy eyes stared at your best friend.

Kirishima and Mina, who were sitting beside him, elbowed him at the same time, berating him for his insensitive comment. You could feel Sero and Bakugou staring at you, their eyes concerned and curious. 

“What’s eating ya up?” Sero asked, and you found a rock-forming in your throat when you shrugged.

“Soulmate problems…”

“That was fucking obvious,” Bakugou rolled his eyes, taking a drink of his water. “Tell us the problem, not a stupid summary.”

Surprisingly that’s all it took for you to come undone, and you explained what happened with tears falling down your face and a sniffling nose. There was a lot to tell them about it, and you showed them the pen while explaining the entire story. They listened to every word you uttered, faces concern but taking in everything you said.

“You’re an idiot,” Bakugou spoke the second you were finished, his eye twitching while he glared at you. You swallowed thickly, placing the pen on the table while Bakugou edged closer towards you. “He’s not wrong, you know, stupid fucking soulmates are just this irrational solution to an irrational problem. Love is much more complex than that, and you don’t seem to have been fighting for him in that way either, sure you seem like good friends, but that doesn’t give you the right to expect him to love you. But he was a complete fucking dick about it, so I say kill him.”

Your — and all of the rest of your friend group — eyes widened at his words. With nothing to follow him up, you all continued to stare at him while he munched on his food.

“WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING EXTRAS LOOKING AT!”

“Is Bakugou a love expert?” Mina’s stage whispered to the group.

“He almost was, but then he said to kill y/n’s soulmate, so probably not anymore,” Kirishima responded back.

“SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!”

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It took four days before the warm feeling shot through your body again.

Fuck, I'm really sorry, I was a complete fucking dick. I said a lot of things, and i didn’t mean to say I was angry and upset, and I know that you're upset, rightfully upset, but i don’t want to lose you.

No matter how long it took for him to get back to you, your heart squeezed with euphoria and poison, your hands moving to grab your pen in your pocket.

It wasn’t there.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

You tore apart your room, trying to find the silver pen but you couldn’t find it.

Stay as mad as you want, I just… please talk with me soon, even if it takes five days. I'm sorry, soulmate.

Frustrated tears poured down your face, nausea almost making you wheeze when you stared at the words you wanted to reply to.

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One day after he apologized:

Don’t want to bother you, just wanted to apologize again and say that I miss you, talk to you soon.

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Five days after he apologized:

I’m not really sure if this is normal or not… I'm not really… educated when it comes to romance and shit like that, especially when it comes to someone being upset with the other… my female classmates told me that I should expect a response from you soon. I'm really sorry, please write soon.

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So it seems that i’ve fucked up to the point of no return. I'm sorry, I miss you, I love you. Maybe one day I can reconvince you that I'm your soulmate for a good reason, but I guess I’ll have to work on that.

It had been fourteen days since he had apologized, and you sat in your room with tears streaming down your face. You wanted to respond back, but even fourteen days of tirelessly searching U.A.’s entire campus, ripping it stone by stone, there was no finding your pen. Every day without fail, he gave you an update of his day and another apology. Every day they got more hopeless, more pained.

This was his last message for a while, he needed time to work things out with himself now, the strain of this and graduation coming soon being too much to handle at the moment. 

Wiping your tears for what felt like the hundredth time within this past twenty minutes, you stood up on your wobbly legs to go downstairs for water. You were dehydrated and absolutely needed to get out for both fresh air and water.

Walking down the stairwell with swollen eyes, you groaned when you slammed into a body when you opened the door to the common area. 

Shouto blinked down at you, and you felt your throat clampdown at the pained look in his own eyes.

“Have you been—”

“Are you—”

You both spoke over each other, and despite the horrid feeling coursing through your bones, you cracked a smile.

“I’m getting water,” you explained with a shrug. “Long night ya know, just needed to replenish my system so I can cry some more.”

Shouto stared at you, and with horror, you realized precisely what you had said.

“Oh my god, ignore me!” you squeak, covering your face trying to move past him, but Shouto seemed to be curious now and followed after you.

“What’s making you cry?” he asked while you rush to the fridge to get your glass of water.

“What’s got you upset?” you counter downing the cup of water.

Shouto sighed, leaning against the counter of the island in the kitchen. “Would it be weird to say its soulmate issues?”

Swallowing the water in your mouth, you shook your head, a tired smile on your face, “Embarrassingly enough, my issue is also with soulmate stuff.”

A joyless chuckle escaped his mouth, and Shouto’s head tilted backward. You studied his jaw and the way his body seemed tense, too tense.

“What happened?” you press gently standing next to him, shouldering him gently.

“I fucked up, and now my soulmate won’t talk with me,” he says slowly, his head nodding while he glances at you. “I guess telling your soulmate you don’t want them is a bad thing.”

You snorted, nodding your head in agreement, “It’s not just a bad thing, its a super fucked up thing.”

Shouto sighed in agreement, and there was silence when you took another drink of your water.

“I didn’t know you were in contact with your soulmate, though,” you smile wistfully, your hand twirling the cup on the counter. “How’d you meet them?”

“I actually don’t know who they are,” Shouto admitted with pursed lips, and your eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “I have that soulmate thing where you write on your arm, and they can read it.”

Showing off his arm, you glanced at the pale skin. You nodded your head when he pulled out a silver pen that looked similar to yours.

“Well,” you shrug your shoulders, motioning him to write. “I’m no expert, but let’s see if I can help you get your soulmate to forgive you.”

“T-They haven’t responded to me in two weeks…” Shouto’s voice cracks, and the number burns a hole through your stomach. “I’ve written every day, but no answer. I don’t really know what to do, and all the girls in the class don’t really know what to do. Bakugou also said to go fuck myself over it, so I don’t think I really have had any help.”

Ignoring the twisting in your stomach, you willed your weirdness away to shuffle in your seat, “Well, you haven’t asked me, asshole, come on, let’s see what I can do.”

Shouto chuckles, his head nodding, “That is true, but to be fair, you’ve been anywhere, but in the dorm these past few weeks.”

“I lost something,” you mutter embarrassed, but you shake away your problems and point at his wrist. “Write an apology.”

You watched when he wrote, the words expressing his apology and love seeping through the silvery ink on his wrist. You told him to add things to delete things, but in the end, it ended up feeling like a genuine and sincere apology. You watched his pen leave his skin and a warmth shot through your arm. 

Shivering, you looked at your arm, trying to see what your soulmate had written to you even though he said he was going to stop.

The words he wrote appeared on your skin.

Your eyes widened when you stared at Shouto, who was also staring at your arm. 

Your eyes met in an almost world-altering way. This entire time, for three whole years, the two of you had been by each other and never knew. Midnight conversations wasted through ink instead of face to face. Your heart hammered in your throat, and tears once again poured from your eyes when you both stood at full height, staring at each other.

Todoroki Shouto was your soulmate — he was yours, and you were his.

“I’m so sorry, y/n, I don’t know what happened to me. You didn’t deserve that, and fuck, I’m so sorry—”

“I lost my pen, and I couldn’t respond back, I forgave you, but I had no way of reaching back! But I was always forcing myself onto you—”

You both interrupted the other, and now you stared at each other, drinking in the presence of each other and belittling yourselves for not knowing sooner; looking at it now, it was just so obvious. You can’t help it and pull him into a hug. His strong arms wrap around you, and you can hear his hammering heart on your ear, and it fills you up with the familiar warmth when he writes you. This seemed to be a brush of luck it seems.

“Can I kiss you, soulmate.”

“Please do.”

[izabellq]

Costumes -> Tamaki Amajiki

summary: you accidentally match costumes with tamaki. prepare yourself for a whole day of endless shenanigans.

contains: MAJOR FLUFF, language if you squint (ik canonically, mirio is in 3-B, but for the sake of this plot, the big three are all in 3-A) also, i tried to make this gender-neutral, so if there’s any specified pronouns, let me know and i’ll fix it ASAP!

THIS IS MY HALLOWEEN SPECIAL! (im very much aware i posted this a day late oop)

UA had decided to hold a special event where students could wear their Halloween costume to school. You weren’t planning anything special or unique, just something to get the job done. So, you decided to dress like a cute puppy. It was only a simple onesie: topped with cute floppy dog ears on your hood, and a tail that attached from the bottom. You weren’t expecting to get a lot of attention, which was perfectly fine with you because you were never the type to seek the stage. You topped off the simple look with a black spot on your nose and one around your eye. And just like, you were good to go.

When you walked into school, you couldn’t help but feel a tad bit insecure. It seemed like everyone had decked out for this special occasion. You passed by some anime cosplay, food costumes, group oriented costumes — everything you could possibly think of. And as you made your way to your class, you wondered what Tamaki would be wearing.

You couldn’t help yourself. It was undeniably true that you had a rather large crush on him. Everything about him was enticing. He was so shy that it was usually you who initiated conversation, but that wasn’t enough to make you falter. You understood he wasn’t the most socially active person around. To be frank, it was rather comforting to know that not everyone at UA was a egotistical narcissist.

Finding your assigned seat, you scanned the class. Some of your peers also took the simple route which put some of your thoughts at ease. Others, the more competitive students, were quite impressive themselves.

You turn towards the doorway when Mirio’s booming voice gathers the room’s attention. He was wearing a... whoopie cushion? Oh dear lord. Mirio was a stickler for humor, so of course, he’d wear practically anything that could rise a laugh out of someone. Only, his jokes kind of sucked and no doubt would the class of 3-A be subject to awful fart jokes for the rest of the day. You weren’t so worried about that as you were worried about the two other students usually attached to his hip. One of them being Tamaki Amajiki.

The next one to stop into class was Nejire Hado who was absolutely breathtaking. Her costume, which was nothing more than a fairy, seemed to capture her true personality perfectly. Although, an angel would also be very accurate in her case. She turned towards the entrance way and stuck her head out into the hallway, “Tamaki! Don’t be shy! You look so cute!”

Your heart began to beat just a little bit faster.

“Mirio! Come help me out with him,” Nejire stomped into the hallway, the fluttering of her makeshift wings dissappeared, only to be followed by a laughing Mirio.

When they returned, their hands were clasped over Tamaki’s wrists, forbidding him from turning around and sulking out in the hallway. When you saw him, you’re taken aback. The smallest of gasps erupt from your lips when you notice his costume choice. A onesie, similar to yours, but instead of the dog ears; replaced with cat ones, and a longer tail attached to the back. He had the same minimal face paint (lined whiskers and a nose) as you did, curtesy of Nejire.

When he looked up, his cheeks were flamed with embarrassment. He found your gaze, and if it were possible, he became even more sheepish. You weren’t any different. The thought of having a matching costume with Tamaki, despite not having any prior arrangements, made you equally embarrassed. Now, all you wondered was, did he notice?

Well, if he didn’t before, he sure did now when Nejire spoke up, “Hey Y/N! Oh my– are you a puppy? How cute! Wait! You’re matching with Tamaki! Now you two look like an adorable couple!”

Her excitement, plus her lack of censorship, made the class laugh— everyone’s attention on you and Tamaki. “Nejire...” Tamaki muttered. He stared at the floor, wishing it’d just swallow him whole.

“You guys should take a picture together,” Mirio suggested, walking over to where you sat and giving you a hand. You hesitantly took it, positive that you looked about ready to vomit or pass out. Maybe both. In that order.

Dragged to stand next to Tamaki, you spare him a single glance. He has his left hand up to his face, doing a shoty job at covering his red cheeks. To you, he seemed... more embarrassed than usual? Perhaps he just didn’t wanted to match costumes with you. It saddened you, but it wasn’t like you could do anything about it now.

Nejire laughed, “Say cheese!”

Tamaki mumbled something that you could only assume was in response to Nejire. In a small pickle of confidence, you grabbed his hand and entangled your fingers with his just before the camera went off.

“Cheese!”

That was first period.

When lunch rolled around, Tamaki had face planted himself on the table.

Nejire and Mirio sent each other a knowing look before moving to console him.

“I don’t understand why you’re not happy, Tamaki! You’re matching costumes with them, you got a picture with them, and they also held your hand!” Nejire listed off the things that happened before the bell rang, signaling the start of first period.

“I am happy...” Tamaki muttered, lifting himself up from the table, “But they probably hate me now.”

“I wouldn’t say that!” Mirio added, “Haven’t I told you that they most definitely have a crush on you?”

“No offense Mirio... but I’m not too keen on taking advice from a literal walking whoopie cushion.” Tamaki propped his arm on the table, before leaning his head into the palm of his hand. The same one you had so eagerly held. He wished to repeat the notion a million more times. Only now, he was afraid he had messed up his one and only opportunity.

Mirio gasped, “I’ll have you know that I got many compliments today!”

Nejire giggled before turning back to Tamaki. “Why don’t we just call them over here?”

“I- um, no... I’d rather not do that,” Tamaki rushed out. He wasn’t sure if he could handle another awkward occurrence with you. You’d surely find him weird.

“Where are they anyways?” Mirio asked, not before sinking his teeth on the apple provided on his lunch tray.

“Oh I see them!” Nejire not-so-subtly pointed at you. Tamaki couldn’t help himself as he turned to look in your direction.

You were laughing at something someone had said before adding your own little quip. You were so cute, he thought. Nejire was the one who suggested he wear a cat-themed costume due to the running joke that he was a ‘cute little kitten’. He was prepared to arrive in his normal uniform but Nejire’s persistence was unwavering. And if he knew what you’d be wearing— would he have accepted the costume more easily? You deserved better than him, he knew, but a small part of him fantasized about the ways you’d love him in a way no one else had before.

“Earth to Tamaki,” Nejire sang, snapping him out of his thoughts. “They’re coming over here, straighten up!”

“Hey Y/N, care to sit?” Mirio asked.

Tamaki’s looking down by the time you got there, so he barely registers it when you sit beside him. Your shoulder rubs against his in brief contact and it makes him shudder. He hopes you didn’t notice.

“What’s up guys?” You brought over a juice box from your other table, sipping on the straw of your drink rather intently.

“Tell Tamaki that my costume is funny!” Mirio piped up, distracted from the match-making he was SUPPOSED to be doing.

You nervously giggled, “Well... your costume is certainly an attention-grabber!”

Mirio seemed pleased with that answer, not having considered the fact that you dodged the question the best way you knew how. Tamaki stared at you, adoration etched into his irises. He didn’t realize he had left out a soft laugh until you were staring at him.

He choked up, “Uh- sorry... I didn’t mean to laugh.”

You smiled, a picture definition of the word perfect. Everything about you, he loved. He just loved you in general. “You don’t need to apologize Tamaki! Your laugh is very cute!”

You pinched his cheek before continuing your previous conversation with Mirio and Nejire. Did you even realize what you were doing to him? He hid his face in his arms and rested on the lunch table. Tamaki knew his face was probably several shades of red and pink. He was only wondering how long it would take before you’d actually kill him with your presence.

And that concluded lunch.

The last period of the day came and went uneventfully. And soon enough, class 3A had returned to the dorms, agreeing to remain in their respective costumes until the clock striked midnight. Some students had decided to spend the night on a scary movie binge, while others payed no mind to the event by studying and finishing thier cumulated late assignments.

You on the other hand we’re stuck in the kitchen, preparing some coffee to get you through the night. Mirio and Nejire had wanted to pull an all-nighter as well, which meant you had to figure out a way to not fall alseep before midnight hit. You already had a messed up sleep schedule as it was, so one more added incentive should make the whole evening smooth sailing.

“Y-Y/N?”

You turn towards the kitchen doorway where Tamaki stood, a bit shellshocked from your presence. Still in that cat onesie, you could see his whiskers had become a bit smudged.

You smiled at him, an ache wrapped around your chest became noticeably present to you. “Amajiki! Shouldn’t you be up in Mirio’s room with Nejire? I’ll be up there in a second, I just gotta finish this.”

“Ah, well,” Tamaki moved into the kitchen, fidgeting with his fingers as he talked. “You were taking a while, so they sent me to check up on you. I’m glad you’re o-okay though.”

You hummed in acknowledgment, turning back to the light stirring of the coffee machine. Your fingers uncoordinatedly tapped the kitchen’s counter, a melodic beat strung to match your voice. Tamaki watched with amusement— nothing like the sight of you in your element could make him any happier.

Actually, there was one thing that would be slightly better.

Slowly, he approached you until he had occupied the space beside you. You noticed him almost immediately, but had pretended to take more interest in your coffee than him. Your heart rate picked up, leaving you to mentally curse your inability to remain calm.

“I have a question,” His voice was hushed, a bit unsure of itself. You turned to look at him but his vision remained on the counter.

“What’s up?” When the coffee machine stilled, you pulled your mug out and carefully placed it in front of you. The smell of the roasted beans infiltrated your nostrils and you couldn’t get enough of it.

“Do you- I mean... I think I’m... no that’s not right. I think it’d better if I just show you...” He bit the inside of his lip, whilst finally mustering the courage to look at you. You’re eyes were widened with curiosity, the reflection of the night settling in your skin.

He moves slightly closer, and when you don’t move away, he softly places his hand on your cheek, angling your face so your centimeters away from each other. Tamaki tries to speak, but he honestly didn’t even think he’d get this far. He’s left utterly speechless. Perhaps if Fatgum were here, he’d supply him with the confidence he needed to pull this off. His anxiety-prone thoughts began to take initiative and he starts to pull away, believing to have bit off more than he could chew. He really did believe you deserved better than him.

But your still there. You’ve always been there. In more ways than one. You grip the front of his onesie and pull him back to his previous spot. His hand recupped your face, and you take this opportunity of surprise to place your lips on his. Nothing more than a second long, only the brush of your lips before the tingling sensation had dissappeared all together.

It wasn’t enough. For either of you. You can’t remember who surged forward first, but it couldn’t have mattered less. The only thing that was being even remotely processed was the heat of your frenzied kisses. Tamaki poured all of his emotions into that moment; from the way he felt when seeing you in your puppy onesie to the butterflies that clouded his mind whenever he thought of you.

You were the first to pull back out of breath. You don’t care that your makeup is beyond repair, or that his is either. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you muttered six words into the smooth crevice of his skin, completely forgetting about the coffee you were prepping for yourself. “I love you, I always have.”

Tamaki smiled, though the nervousness hadn’t completely disappeared. “I love you too.” He admitted, feeling his heart flutter at the mutual affection. It wasn’t one-sided after all, not one bit.

Maybe he ought to take more advice from his friend the whoopie cushion.

Then again, maybe not.

“There waiting for us you know,” Your voice was a bit muffled, having been the after-effect of hiding your face in his neck. He understood you perfectly nonetheless.

“They can wait a little longer,” His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you impossibly closer.

“Kiss me again,” You pleaded.

And so, he did just that.

CHECK OUT MASTERLIST HERE!

[ficsnroses]

Touch - John Wick x Reader

summary : you wake John up with a morning handjob.

warnings : handjob, implied oral sex. x f! reader. fluffy fluff fluff! 2k.

notes : hi loves! this is another fic I never posted because I thought it was a little too similar to another fic I’d wrote. Im posting it now, months later since I don’t have any new content for you atm! feedback is so appreciated. hope you enjoy! xx 

In the dewy AM light, your heavy eyes soak open morning glow, a throbbing ache to your temple pitches just as the rays protrude your darkened eyelids. In the wake of the moment, you’d hardly noticed the dip of the mattress beside you, a heavier weight positioned, a tangle of legs and heft of your love’s bulky arm loosely held across your waist.

John holds you so close, so proximate, the gentle brush of his calm, relaxed breathes paints to the soft curve of your neck. The quietude is special, his snooze pacifies, calms something inside you that raced the night prior.

Retiring, falling asleep to a bed empty of his body beside you would never prove easy. The grim thoughts never surrender, the cold, stoic hollowness that comes with him being away far too long had never quite become less crushing.

He’d often come in this way; late in the midnight AM, quieter than a whisper as he’d return in your arms. Perhaps you remember feeling him draw your skin closer, unbeknownst to the surrender of snooze that clouded around you, encapsulated you upon his late night return. In the sea of surrounding blankets and feathery pillows, your lips curl to a gentle smile, a ring of a content hum falling dripped, honey doused off your warm smile his way.

Mornings like this; waking up, with him safe beside you, were quite literally,

incomparable.

His body moulds to yours, body heat collective, nesting together in utter, quiet, harmony. John, this way, was a beauty to be seen. In moments like this, where sleep comes, kisses him, engulfs; wraps him in a serene reduction; you feel most at ease.

Knowing he’s at ease, he’s content, he’s whisked away in nothing but surrender to the part of him that will always stay human. The part of him that rests, reminds him that he is still human, despite the sins that refuse to let him go.

With his warm skin stippled to yours, you feel yourself drift further into his embrace, a content, drowsy smile of your own curling to the gentle twist of your blush stained lips. Although his heavy chest heaves in small, gentle exhales, he seems in ease. He seems calm, a flutter behind his sleep soaked eyelids sure of a visit in dreamland.

You inch in closer, slow, and he stirs slight to the feel of your gentle lips tracing over his skin. Softly, you pepper a love laced peck to his jaw, face nuzzling into his neck; John’s eyes blissfully unaware to the sunlit dew that surrounds him. Habitually, his arms tighten around you, a content, oblivious sigh echoed off his lip. Relishing, your lips nip at the skin of his neck, half slumber absorbed movements laced with nothing, but pure affection as you bundle close to your love. His skin exudes the familiar scent of long forgotten cologne, and something so uniquely, exclusively John.

A scent that reminds you he’s here, along side you, where he’d always belong.

Without mere thought, your hands position to his chest, soothing small, rubbing comforting circles to the broad of his bare chest; John preferred to sleep with his shirt off.

Not that you’d lament; the heavy tattoos that litter his back are gorgeous, yet John often shies away from showing you their portrayal. On particularly good nights, sometimes, John will let you trace the delicate ink, allow you to fully absorb each dip, each sharp curve of the once penned art that paints to his back.

John’s back, in all its glory, all its beauty, is a story untold. The intrigue, the beauty, the basic seams that compose of this man you’d received the delight of calling all yours, is nothing less of a miracle.

John Wick is a miracle; his back carries a story,

       that the spine of a book could never hold. His story lives within him, claws, cuts away at him.

He’s a miracle, to be what he is,

       coming from where he does.

Apart from the rare look into the symphony that tells tale to his skin, often, John enjoys his skin so close to yours, shielded by no barrier. On particularly rough nights, or evenings where John needs nothing but you to melt the dread of the day behind, he finds asylum in your skin.

Skin to skin with John is one of your favourite ways to unwind; to forget. You’ll shelter in his arms, both your bodies bare, exposed, relishing within each other.

You don’t need sex in moments like that.

You solely need him,

And he only needs you.

All the curves of your frail body relax into the strength of his.

As your lips continue, drenching into his bruised skin; you sigh, airy and light. You sigh, marking his body with the nectar that flows off your lips, only for him.

A gentle mark to his neck, a softer one just below.

A softer kiss to his jaw, a softer, lighter one to his chest. Slow and steady, you delight in his body, pulling the callous of his form closer, nearer, sighing when he stirs so slight, the content smack of his lips assuring a relaxation he so desperately deserved. Slow; as flowers fall from your lips onto his skin, your gentle hands move composed, leisurely, smoothly down his chest, brushed delicately across the firm of his torso, the structure; the art of his abs,

Your fingers draw gentle circles and mindless shapes, playing his skin in a beautiful melody; John’s touch dances on your fingertips, his skin a song you’d memorized a lifetime ago;

           Slowly, the soft pads of your hold brush over his clothed manhood, full, thrived, glorious in his cotton boxers. His shaft is firm against your wrist, the heaviness of his entirety thick against your fingers. With a cheeky smile, and warm grin his way, your face buries under the dip of his neck, just under the abrasive stubble of his chin, your lips peppering sincere, love baked kisses to his drowsy figure, two fingers of your inquisitive hand dipping into the waistband of the fabric that holds his cock, full.

John’s cock is one of your absolute favourite treats.

His girth,

His heaviness,

His weight, his taste, that throbbed vein that runs like a lightening bolt up his overwhelming length, the rich shade of pink his tip becomes when erect for you; John’s cock is a luxury in its own right.

Gently, your fingers intrude into his boxers, skin brushed past the full bush of dark hair that surrounds his member. John keeps himself tame, groomed to a tolerable trim down under just for you. Before you, John didn’t care much. Now, however, he prefers to keep himself presentable, just for you.

As the soft pads of your lotion silken fingers greet his bulge in a tender brush, shockwaves pierce inside you, the sheer feel of his cock wrapped in your hand causes a tender ache between your legs.

Butterflies float inside,

Nerves twist inside your core, the familiar bite of anticipation, of need.

Your body sears for him, pleads for him to wake up and make love to you. Yearns for his cock to make home within you, thoughts hazed in a crisp desire for him to fuck you the way he so expertly does.

Yet; you hold. You tenderly, warmly, delicately begin to stroke his shaft, making sure to swirl his tip with your thumb, feeling the thin skin of his member melt through your grip.

John deserves to feel good, deserves to feel love kiss him, graze him in the most tender of ways. John deserves for relief to wash over him; to kiss any worries that clog his weary mind away.

Stroking firmer, harder, faster, his arousal jerks in your satin grip, in a ballet fumed through your affectionate pry, lovebites and wet kisses still mottling to his collarbone. John’s cock throbs, aches, pulses in your hand, his sleeping frame slowly, barely waking in the midst of your morning favour.

Gently, you massage his heavy balls, tenderly stroking them, paying well attention to each inch, each curve, each dip of his magnificent manhood. John stirs, eyes fluttering awake through a quiet moan dripping off his tongue; eyes still shut as soft, gentle groans coil in his throat, and his palms find the small of your back, holding on dearly. The warmness of your kisses on his jaw welcome him awake; each inch of him envelopes in love, in a sea of all feelings good; all feelings free.

Velvet and rich, his moans melt in your ears, the sound of his tender baritone quietly, softly whimpering for you a song you’d memorize till’ the end of time. You continue, stroking his cock, faster, and faster, and faster, twisting, pumping, slicking the smear of dewy pre cum slipping out his head.

“Fu…fuck…” John moans, heavy palms finding your waist as they hold your hips tight, fingers sinking into the soft flesh. “Fuck, sweetheart, it feels…” The words die in his throat, cut through a louder, gravellier groan, a groan that moistens the insides of your glossy arousal building for him.

“Feel good, baby?” You wonder, painting yet another delicate, mauve bruise into the skin of his chest.

“So good, don’t stop.” He requests, through broken breathes and weary gasps. “I’m gonna cum,” John warns, his own hand trickling into his boxers to massage his balls simultaneously, while you work wonders to his swollen shaft. With a few more particularly tight, sloppy pumps, John’s hold on you tightens, sweet, dripping praises of your name fleeing his lips as his cock burst, spurts of creamy, warm release coating the grip of your palm.

He feels silky, wet and sticky in your touch, and you grin a warm kiss his way, watching the beauty of his dark features relish in aftershocks, riding the waves of delicious release as you softly, slowly pump him limp. Pulling your body closer, John’s snuggles further into your hold, sighing against your skin; his cock still bundled in your tender grip. “Good morning, handsome.” You giggle, feel of his laboured breaths hot against your skin, as he peppers a soft kiss to your breast. Smoothing over your hips, his deep baritone sighs a fond exhale, heavy hands smoothing over your peachy ass.

“Good morning it is,” He smiles into the valley of your breasts, his hands trailing suggestively into the hem of your shirt. Kissing, peppering affection to the swell of your chest, John chuckles, his own palm moving to brush over your drenched, needy pussy.

“Darling,” He whispers, larger frame shifting to hover over you, grinning with his mouth travelling to the silky dip of your neck, where his tongue dances over soft flesh. “You have to let me return the favour.” Quietly, his tone sends vibrant want spark inside, breath hitching to the way his study fingers rub against your bare slit, lapping, smearing the sap that drips just for him.

“When,” He whispers into your skin, praising, returning stolen kisses. “Did I,” a gentler kiss to your collarbone, as he trails lower, peeling off whatever fabric shields the haven of your body from his wanting gaze. “Get so, lucky?”

           And to the sound of your soft giggle, his eyes lock with yours as his face positions just above your hips, bulky fingers stripping your pajama bottoms down. His lips work tender kisses to the insides of your thighs, loving hands grazing over the soft skin as he whispers, taking hold of your hand, ready to return the morning affection.

           “You’ll be the death of me, Mrs. Wick.”

➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴

My taglist will be posted in reblogs, let me know if you want to be added or removed! :)

[lyss-alane]

Just A Man

Word count: 2288

Summary: Dean isn't able to hide from the reader anymore. “Enemies” to lovers.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: ANGST, hurt Dean, self-loathing Dean, language, 18+, drinking, age gap, Season 14 spoilers!! 

A/N: I wrote this fic in one sitting, its literally my first fanfiction. Warning, probably cringe writing!!! but its okay because I plan to improve as I write more. Please be patient with my skills, but I do hope you enjoy :)

All mistakes are mine

This is a work of fiction, must be 18+ to read

Dean was in his room, looking through old pictures again. This is where he found himself the safest, in his home with what’s left of his family around him.

He was flipping through some old polaroids he found under the seat of baby along time ago. There were pictures of Sam as a baby, Dean as a kid. There was some of John and Mary together, laughing. His favorite was the one of Mary holding Sammy, she was smiling and her face was full of love.

He had newer ones too that he charished just the same. One of him and Sam outside of Bobby’s house, working on some old Truck. There was one of Bobby drinking a beer and reading a book on that old wornout sofa of his. And then there was one of her, sitting out side on the porch swing. She had a cup of coffee in her hand and her dog Kansas sitting next to her.

Her head was thrown back in laughter because of something Sam said while taking the picture. Those two were always close. Y/N lived at Bobby’s ever sense she was a little girl. She kept the old man alive, and she became extremely close to Sam, they were the same age and attended some of school together.

Holding the picture in his hand Dean found himself smiling again. He always did when looking at her. No matter how much the two fought or disagreed, Dean couldn’t help but love the girl.

Of course she’d never shown any interest in him. Dean was way to damaged to be blessed with someone as graceful as her. The two faught like cats and dogs, and he was pretty sure she hated his guts.

Y/N stuck around with the boys once Bobby died. She was more than grateful to move around with her best friend, but the eldest Winchester kept her on her toes. Everything the green eyed man did seemed to piss Y/N off. She cared deeply for him of course, but it seemed like no matter what she did it was never enough for him.

Whether is was messing up a hunt, not following orders, or something as simple as forgetting to buy his favorite shampoo when she was on a supply run. She quickly learned to keep her distance. Dean was hard on her, but Sam always said it was how he shows he cared.

They were aquantances, not friends.

That was until last week,

Mary died.

She died tragically, everyone who knew her was hurting, but Dean was down right scary. It scared Y/N to see him like this.

Beilive it or not she knew the man inside and out, she knew how good his heart was and all the horrible shit he went through. She loved him, she always had. He was difficult and grouchy most of the time but she loved him all the more.

She knew Mary’s death hit him harder than anything had before, of course it did, she was his mother.

She decided she was going to make dinner for the boys, they hadn’t had much time to do anything lately with everything going on and a home cooked meal could never hurt.

Dean of course didn’t come out if his room to eat.

Y/n knew he needed time, but lately all he did was stay in that room drinking himself to death. She didn’t want to overstep, but seeing him like this hurt. The last time he acted this way was when they lost bobby, and those memories were something y/n couldn’t think about.

“you think he’s going to be okay?” She asked Sam, biting on her nail.

She was putting a plate of food together to bring to Dean, she normally didn’t show so much care for the man, but lately all she could do was worry. Worry and help out how ever possible.

She never let herself get close to Dean, she already had feeling for the guy and they were hardly even friends. She tried to keep as much distance as she could, but right now she knew the boys needed her, and she wanted to do as much as she could to help.

“ to be honest, I don’t know.” Sam said. His face looked exhausted and his shoulders were slauched. He was picking at the food on his plate.

She hated seeing her friend this way. The Winchester were the strongest people she knew and right now it seemed as if they were breaking.

“ well, he’s gotta eat something” she said, grabbing a water from the fridge and the plate she had made for him. “and so do you ”. She said passing Sam and placing a small kiss on his head.

She hated how much it bothered her to see Dean like this. It literally made her stomach hurt, she was worrying so much. He was never good at talking about his feeling, and Y/N was used to that, but when he shut down completely that scared her the most.

“Dean” she knocked softly on his door “ I brought food”

He was passed out with a beer in his hand, face laying flat on his desk. His head felt like it was going to explode if he opened his eyes but he heard someone’s voice, it sounded soft and quit.

“Dean”

He slowly picked his head up off the table and whipped his face in his hands. He looked like he’d been sleeping for days.

He turned around to find the voice and saw Y/N peaking her head in the door. Her beautiful features fixed with concern. Dean just wanted to kiss the worry from her face, whisper everything she ever wanted to hear.

“ Dean, can I come in” she said.

Of course he couldn’t tell her no, the man could never tell her no. Eventhough he felt like he was dying on the inside right now and looked no better on the outside, just seeing her made him smile. 

“Okay” was all he could say, he hated himself for being so weak, for trying so hard to keep her at a distance but right now he could feel his resolve falter.

“ I made you food, you should eat” she said softly, slowly making her way towards him.

His eyes were on her, but it seemed as if he was looking through her. They were puffy and red around the rims. She immediately felt like she was overstepping, but there was no way in hell she was leaving him like this.

She was close enough to him now to smell the stinch of alcohol coming from his every pore. Her stomach was In knots and she felt like she could cry seeing him this way.

“Please eat” she said

“M’not hungry” he slurred.

She slowly made her way towards his desk and put the food next to him despite his protest.

“De-“

“ I said, m’not hungry” he said roughly, pushing the plate away from him

Great, now he was drunk and pissed.

He was stairing down at his lap now, his shoulders slumped in defeat she could have sworn she saw them.. trembling?

Was he crying?

She immediately froze, not knowing what to do. Dean Winchester was crying, he was drunk off his ass, he looked like a broken man and all she wanted to do was pick him up and make him feel whole again.

“De?” She said.

She gently placed her shaking hand on his shoulder and waited for him to react.

His body quickly jerked when he felt her soft touch. He felt like he couldn’t breath or move, he wanted to talk, to scream at her, to jump up and embrace her, to beg her not to leave him. He couldn’t lose her too, but he did just the opposite, he couldn’t help himself.

“ just go, please” he said, softly at first.

It was as if his mind couldn’t catch up with his body, he just sat there and cried, wanting desperately for her to save him, but he’d never admit he needed saving. 

The two hardly talk, they practically ovoides each other everyday, so why did he feel like she was his life line? He’s always felt this pull towards her, one he could never escape, but he sure as hell tried.

He was hard on the girl, but only because he needed her to be the best she could be. He was in love with her, ever sense he turned twenty one  years old. They were drinking outside in the middle of Bobby’s old junkyard, he had snuk her and Sam some beer.

She was the only person to give him a gift that birthday. A kiss. Small and gentle, it wasn’t even on the lips but it was still a gift, one that he held onto forever. He told her everything that night. How much Sammy had hurt him after leaving for college, how much he resented for being so obsessed. He even told her about his mom, about Hey Jude and how she would cut the crust off his sandwiches. And he fell for her, hard and fast, and it scared him shitless. 

So he pushed her away, he fucked everyone in sight and he made her crazy ever chance he got, because she was only going to leave too right ? 

but here she was, waiting on him, keeping him alive everyday by just being there, and it made him so angry, because he knew no matter how hard he tried the girl would never leave his mind. she had his heart wrapped around her finger and she didn’t even know it. He was so fresturated, so mad at himself he couldn’t help but take it out on her.

“ hey I’m here” she said

She slowly brought her hands to wrap around his shoulder, only for him to roughly push off.

“ cab you just leave me the fuck alone.” he groaned, quickly standing up from the chair.

“ why the hell are you here Y/N” he yelled, pointing his finger at her “ what makes you think I want to talk to you, out of all people right now”

His voice was shaking, he put his hands In his hair pulling roughly at it. She just stood there, her mouth quivering. She could see his eyes were red and puffy, his jaw was clenched and fresh tears were making their way down his cheeks. She knew he probably didn’t want to talk to her, but what was she suppose to do, let him slowly drift away one by one. She loved him and even though he was a hard ass, she knew he was a good man.

“ God Y/N” he said, burring his face in his hands “ why are you here, why haven’t you left” voice barely above a whisper.

She had tears running down her face now, he really hated her this much? Her body didn’t want to move from him, but she managed to force her self towards the door.

“I-im sorry Dean” she said shaking.

His head quickly snapped up to look at her, like he could hear her broken heart in her voice. His face immediately softened once he saw the hurt in her eyes. Her once hopeful eyes now sheed with tears.

“ No, you don’t understand” he said sighing, like he couldn’t express how he was feeling. “ I treat you like shit everyday, I- I push you away, God I hate myself for it.” He said clenching his jaw.

“WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE, why haven’t you ran away yet Y/N. you’re nothing but good to me and I return the favor by-by hurting you?” He let out a sarcastic laugh “ I hate myself everyday for the way I treat you Y/N” his voice was shaky now, his body was stiff and it looked like it was hard from him to breath.

“ I’m sorry, I'm sorry I push you away, I'm sorry I beat you down everyday ” he said looking down at his lap. Letting out a shaky breath. “ I care for you so much Y/N and... it scares me sweetheart”

She knew now, she understood everything now. Deep down she always knew, he was scared, scared to be close to someone again, scared to lose another friend. She knew Dean Winchester and she knew he was a good man, an amazing man, but he was still just a man. There’s only so much hurt, so much betrayal one man can go through before they break. She just hopes she can put him back together.

She slowly made her way towards him, gently putting her hand on his face. He pushed his face towards her, finally feeling her touch actually brought him to tears. He knew there was no stopping himself now.

She slowly made her way into his lap, wrapping two small arms around his neck and letting his head fall into her shoulder. She held him as tight as she could, and could feel his body starting to relax.

Embracing each other without saying a word. His arms found their way tightly around her, securing her in place as if silently telling her to never leave him, that he needs this, that he needs her.

“I’m here” she said, her voice shaking but her grip around him staying strong.

He let out the strained breath he’d been holding in, his shoulders falling in defeat. He couldn’t help himself but to fall apart in her arms, it was home. The only place he felt safe and secure enough to truly be venerable. 

“You don't have t’ do this” he whispered, he couldn't comprehend why she was so nice to him, after everything. 

He slowly lifted his head to rest his forehead on hers. He needed her to know how sorry he was, to know how much she meant to him. He cautiously put his lips on hers, waiting for her to back away, to yell or call him stupid.

But here she was, crushing her lips against his, kissing him like she needed air and he was her breath. Holding him together, the most selfless woman.

And he felt like a shell of a man without her arms around him.

He knew then

She was his home and he could no longer run away.

***

YES I KNOW VERY CLICHÉ!! Im trying to improve everyday 😬😬😬

I would like to tag some amazing writers who inspire me everyday, I wouldn’t be into fanfiction if it wasn’t for some of them.

Some I talk to, and some I do not but nonetheless I can only wish one day too be as amazing and talented as they are!

So thanks to them for giving me some inspiration!!!

@jay-and-dean @sunlightdances @roonyxx @writingkeepsmewhole @jawritter @talesmaniac89 @hardcoresupernatural @laphirablack @crossbowking @ne-gans

[bangtansfavwriter]

💘bangtan as boyfriends: namjoon💘

(this cutie tho💕💗💞💓)

- the touchy kind of bf, your relationship can be described with one word: sensual

- bonds with you mentally and physically (👀)

- at the same time, very awkward with you when the guys are around

- but whenever it's just the two of you... oh my ..... you're in your own personal and highly intimate bubble

-a man of ... dualities... will talk about Aristotle with you and then ask you about your favourite pokemon

-will teach you about the richness of the finest wines while he's sipping on his capri-sun

-very passionate about your relationship and highly protective of you

-helps you deal with life in general, mostly with some daily tasks, will be ur mental support when actually can't be with you

-sends you pics of everything he finds interesting when he's away, there's a "joon on tour🌏💕" folder on your phone with pictures of unique statues, selcas, amazing food and loots of photos of landscapes and the sky. and of course.... 🦀☺️

- you cry at over trivia: love at least once/month, as it is the one song that always lifts your spirits, you once had an awful day where absolutely nothing was right and you crawled into bed in hopes to just fall asleep already (at 6pm smh) just to forget how shitty life can be sometimes. you listened to music, hoping that this would help you fall asleep, but no avail, you were just laying there, trying to keep yourself from crying. you didn't even notice that namjoon slowly snuck into the bedroom, until you felt the weight shift in bed and him pulling you into his chest. he knew. you knew by the way he held you and caressed your hair. "y/n?" he whispered and lifted your face to look at him. your teary eyes couldn't avoid his, but you couldn't complain. He smiled at you warmly, hugged you again and then softly sang the chorus of trivia: love, reminding you of his love for you (and laughed/cooed when you finally started sobbing)

-he took the supporting thing to a questionable level when he tried to cook for you and almost burned the house down and you reminded him of that incident everytime you saw a fire extinguisher, it became a running gag between you two

fire extinguisher:

you: oh, reminds me of the time you almost turned the kitchen to -

joon: i did it in good will and this is what i get

- manliest man in every other occasion, babiest baby when he's drunk, one loud mf tho (you once took scissors away from him when he was shit-faced drunk and he got emotional bc "you love me that much huh y/n, you protect meeee~, love you so so so much, y/n~", and you have to remind yourself why you signed up for this)

- very soft for you, will try to initiate cuddling but gets shy very often, you're his reminder that being soft and gentle is indeed something good

-will get inspiration to write when you guys are together, whether you are cuddling, going out somewhere or even fighting

-you cussed the shit out of him once when you trusted him to hand in an important paper for you, as you had fly to another country for urgent business and .... he forgot. he literally has no reason, he simply forgot and this was the only time you actually cussed at him and it was, well... believe it or not he wrote his cypher pt.V verse based on that

-and a heart-wrenching ballad after that because you were so mad that you said you needed a break, said break lasted 2 days after maknae line was at your doorstep and asked you to take namjoon back bc "he literally didn't sleep ever since your fight and barely leaves his studio" (jimin) and you knew that over working himself like this was a very obvious sign that he's not in his right mind, so you gave him a call and you two met up and reconciled ("your hook in cypher seemed awfully familiar tho" - "....i wrote a ballad for you" - "cypher always wins, joon" --- 2 years later it turned out said ballad became spring day pt 2, it wouldn't leave the charts --- "y/n, even the charts won't let me forget the one time i screwed up" - "and neither will i" - "petty lil shit")

- your thighs have become rock-solid bc this man would take u biking every damn weekend, "why are you wheezing like that?" - "idk, joon, maybe because my lungs are failing" - "don't be so dramatic, y/n" (proceeds to laugh about your misery)

-but he'd make it worthwhile with a nice picnic during the day

-makes it even better with a candle-lit dinner at a cozy restaurant near his place, that had fantastic pasta aglio e olio ("joon, this is the best food i had in a while, but you may have to carry me home" - "same, I'm so full but it was so worth it" - "hell yea, but...I'm serious about the carrying part" - "??" - " I can't move my legs" - "oh my god" - "this is what happens when im forced to do sports")

- you spent many cozy nights with him where you just pampered yourselves and talked about all sorts of things

-he could listen to you for hours, no one fascinates him as much as you do and he's convinced that you're the most hilarious person he's ever met, although you can't quite understand why he thinks that, he never really explained it either

-you have discussions about all sorts of things, he loves it when you challenge his views, bc that keeps the fire alive ya know

-tbh he's quite possessive , ngl there.. he once saw you joking around with jungkook who smiled and stared at you with heart eyes (!his opinion!)

- namjoon was very disgruntled but didn't say anything bc jungoo is babie and so are you, but it was a whole other thing when jin drunkenly flirted with you one day but it wasn't anything harmful tbh, yet namjoon was FUMING

-jimin was so kind to drag his hyung away from you, since you were too polite and too awkward to tell bangtans oldest off, but you knew how chaotic jin could be, especially when drunk, so you didn't bother much tbh..... but namjoon did. the following day, when you went over to theirs, a very distressed jimin opened the door. you shot him a quizzical look to which he simply said: "yesterday's aftermath". jin stormed towards the door when he saw you, which startled you, but jin grabbed both your hands and profusely apologised for his behaviour the day before. you noticed namjoon glaring in the back, while you listened to jin, who was unaware of namjoon in the back. "so are we good? we have to be good or namjoon's gonna kill me". you started laughing and reassured him and all of you were ok again, jimin took a deep sigh in relief.

- very loyal to you, almost fought a staff member who bad-mouthed you when your relationship became known to bighit

- that was the time you knew namjoon would always have your back, and you knew that this man was worth every kind of hassle that could await you and your relationship (like a unintentional arson by a clumsy man who just wanted to cook)

[inkribbon796]

Like a House of Cards Ch. 9: Magic and Might

Summary: The heroes and villains learn more about the troubling future.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Dark was coming to, slowly, with a pounding headache. A headache that was made worse because two people were literally screaming directly over him.

Wilford and Brody had gotten into a bit of a disagreement. Brody had gotten upset that Dark was just lying on a cold table and had gone looking for a pillow or some kind of cushion. But Wilford used the Void to grab what he wanted before Brody could take two steps to leave the room. That caused a light argument about how Wilford wouldn’t have done anything if Brody hadn’t spoken up. Which Wil immediately argued that was not the case. And that led to the louder argument that had woken Dark in the first place.

“Mhmmm!” Dark complained, his aura not quite strong enough to lash out at them without worsening his migraine. He was a little dazed as the memories of before he’d been hit hadn’t come back yet.

“Great, yeh fookin’ woke ‘im up,”[1] Brody complained.

“I woke him up?” Wil argued heatedly. “The absolute nerve!”

Nestor had his head in his hands, “Fuck, I forgot that they do this when we put them together.”

“Wil?” Dark called out, his aura naturally tugging Wil closer.

Wilford instantly turned to go and tend to Dark, Brody looked away and sighed in defeat, taking a seat close by. “Yes, my Darkling?”

Dark grabbed Wilford and pulled him close, Wil realized he was shaking. Brody looked over, noticed the shaking and gripped his knees as he forced himself to sit there.

“My sweet licorice,” Wil frowned as he didn’t try to escape or wriggle free from the Entity. “What’s wrong?”

“You almost died,” Dark told Wil, who looked very confused.

“My Darkling, death is—” Wil chuckled, running a hand through Dark’s hair.

Dark grabbed his hand, “No, Wil, that blast would have killed you. I barely survived. You don’t have enough aura to survive an attack like that.”

Wilford thought on that, “Well even if I did die, I would haunt you. Here let me—”

Wil tried to pull away, but Dark held him in a vice grip. Panic flooded the Entity’s mind.

“No! I can’t let you be attacked by something like that,” Dark ordered. “You can’t—”

Dark’s voice became choked and Wil leaned in to gently kiss his forehead.

“I’m not going anywhere my dear, I promise,” Wil smiled and Dark seemed to calm down a bit now that Wilford wasn’t pulling away again.

After a bit, Dark pulled himself up, and noticed everyone still in the room. He groaned and protectively curled his own aura around himself. He didn’t have enough aura at the moment to spare to make some sort of display of power. Which made him uneasy. Wil and his children were safe but who even knew how long he’d been out for. He had an image to uphold and he was wasting it sleeping on a desk of all things.

As the Entity’s thoughts were thinking of something that would help him look like he wasn’t about to fall apart, he felt aura tap towards his own and his cracked and battered soul was so eager for more aura to take that he grabbed it without thinking and felt like it was massaging the inside of his scalp. The feeling made Dark feel better almost immediately.

Dark’s migraine blissfully began to fade and he recognized the almost tangy sweet of Wil’s aura creeping towards his own. Dark thought it was weird but he was desperate for aura and trying not to show it maybe he could—

Wil’s aura aggressively shoved the first aura — Brody’s — off of Dark. The headache flared back into his senses and left Dark a little whiplashed.

“The hell was that? He was fookin’[2] calmin’[3] down!” Brody spat at Wilford.

Dark looked around the room in confusion before he saw Anti. The individual he initially assumed was the cause of the argument. But Anti wasn’t coming over and Wil and Brody were on either side of him. The glitch wasn’t even looking their way, he was just hovering over Henrik. The German doctor was with Iplier still tending to the Host’s and the Dealer’s eyes.

Nestor got in to pull Brody away before it got violent and Wil stood next to Dark who was soon distracted by Illinois and King who were trying to catch Dark up on what everyone had discussed while he was unconscious.

Ethan and Silver were going through the huge file of pictures and videos.

The former sidekick paused on a group shot of Dark sitting in his warehouse office with J.J, Brody, Nestor, and someone who looked a lot like Henrik just in suspenders and without his lab coat.

“Hey, I thought you guys said Henrik was dead?” Ethan asked.

“Henrik’s not in that picture, it’s—” Nestor told him, but looked at it again before doing a double take and snatching the screen back. “Oh shit! It is.”

Brody looked up, when Nestor walked over, “Hey Chase, this is Heinz’s last picture.”

“Huh,” Brody leaned to look at the screen. “This was the fourth right? Not the last time I saw him in the front, but definitely the last picture.”

“What happened ta[4] him?” Anti hissed. Now that Glitch Logan had been physically taken away from him he was far calmer, but he hovered protectively around Henrik.

“Well,” Brody began. “When the hunters were burnin’ Brighton down an’ I was runnin’ around trying ta help stop it, yah were tryin’ ta protect Kay an’ his kid from some ‘a the hunters. The fight almost killed yeh an’ Henrik agreed ta let yah hitch a ride until yeh got better. But yeh never left an’ after ten years yeh both became the Mortician.”[5]

Anti just stared at him in alarm.

“Same thing happened to Nate and Mare, it was just more traumatic for them,” Nestor told Anti, before immediately changing the subject back to the Mortician. “Morty’s alright, comes into town every Thursday to shoot the shit and show off his knife collection he got from you. I think Henrik might still be in there but it’s been ages since I could tell the difference. I think Dark can but I don’t ask him about what Mortician does and I have enough to do every day. Which is a shame.”

Anti came over and looked at the screen, uncertainty and a bit of unease in his eyes. There were some pictures of this . . . Anti didn’t know whether to call him a new demon or not. He had Henrik’s face and something in Anti’s long dead soul twisted a bit. He didn’t like the idea of Henrik with some other demon, even if it was some other version of himself.

Henrik, who was finished cleaning up the Dealer’s eyes walked over, “May I see?”

“No!” Anti tried to surge over to destroy the drive and the tablet it was in before Henrik could see it.

“Anti, don’t be fookin’[2] difficult, just let him see it,” Brody shouted at him. “If Brighton’s not burnin’ then Mort’s got no reason ta e’en exist.”[6]

“Anti!” Henrik, starting to shout at him in a mix of German and English as he stomped over and took the screen away to look at it.

“If somezing[7] involves me, zen[8] I deserve to know!” Henrik shouted at Anti.

Henrik studied the picture for a bit, curious and a little nervous about this future version of himself.

After a minute of seeing his own body moving in a way that was similar and alien all at the same time, he handed it back to Nestor as the group went through the videos. Chase saw some of the pictures taken of his future self talking to Dark in the mob boss’s office. Himself in a vest and button-up and what was obviously a real gun on his belt.

Everything about the photographic evidence making him uncomfortable.

As most of the heroes and villains were still in the meeting room they’d been originally brought to, Logan went down to the ground floor parking lot. His glitchy counterpart had to move there to help build whatever device he’d been working on. The Googles and Bing were helping him to assemble the machine parts that were being constructed and printed.

Roman hovered right next to him, apprehensive about if the glitch would attack or not. Janus was with him and the other Sides were hanging back within earshot.

“Are you able to talk and work at the same time?” Logan asked the computer.

The image glitched and the young demon was on the monitor, as if he was simply being recorded in another room. “Such is the wonder of automation. We have much to discuss.”

“We do,” Logan agreed, feeling nervous but tried his best to hide it. “You spoke of a Collider earlier. What is that?”

Schematics popped up on the screen for Logan to see and scroll through. It was some advanced laser or turbine.

“I have been working on this for the past three resets, when it became clear we and the Dealer had different end goals,” Glitch Logan announced. “It is a fusion of magic and technology powerful enough to cut through dimensional rifts.”

“What would be the purpose of such a device?” Logan asked, “you are from the future.”

The computer showed images of the generator that Logan’s drive and three Sides’ lockets had been in. “After our last resulting failure, I decided it was time to ensure the Core Sides’ survival so that was why I constructed my generator. Which, I had plans to use Anti as a power source. He was older than I am and 99% likely to survive with little more than some scraps against his soul. After a month or two he would have been fine.”

“Why were we in that generator?” Logan demanded.

“Well, after I would reclaim Anti,” Glitch Logan began, as if his answer would be oblivious, “I planned on using the excess energy to finish cracking the souls of every single Side. If that wasn’t enough to turn all of us into instant demons, nothing would.”

“You heinous monster!” Roman shouted. “More proof you are not who you say you are!”

“I would merely be finishing what Wilford’s soul splitter started,” Glitch Logan announced gleefully. “It is far easier to kill all of you as you now stand. I am trying to keep all of us alive. I do not care if I am liked or thanked for what I have done. My actions so far have led to not only your survival so far, but made Dark suspicious and guarded enough to save Wil.”

“So the mages and hunters you murdered were worth nothing but power to you!” Logan roared.

“Yes,” Glitch Logan admitted with no hesitation. “Their magic would have fueled the generator to ensure a successful merge, but now that Wilford is still alive the Host has agreed to use our Anomaly to fuel the generator instead. Meaning that Anti’s involvement will be completely unnecessary. I have already handed over the magical amulets I used to store their magic to the Host, Dark can keep them, he needs them more than I do at the moment.”

“Glad to know that sentient life will not be used for your personal gain,” Logan spat. Anti was his enemy, but he did not deserve to be turned into a living battery. None of the mages or hunters deserved to be turned into batteries.

“You have lost nothing, you would be prepared to roil in your own grief if I were not here!” Glitch Logan spat. “Roman and Virgil will not die, and Patton will not be hunted like an animal. I have saved them.”

Logan didn’t have an easy rebuttal.

“Maybe you have, but this is our future now,” Janus proclaimed, nudging himself protectively in front of Logan. “We will make of it what we will.”

The glitch demon chuckled, his screen version pushing up his glasses, “I suppose you will. I’d be more concerned if I wasn’t sure they were still in capable hands.”

Because it was a screen, it was unclear if Glitch Logan was looking at anyone in particular, but Logan felt it. As if he was being specially targeted.

“Why decide on the generator now, and not earlier?” Logan tried to move the conversation, Janus looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

“That was because I was so close last time,” Glitch Logan proclaimed. “The Host forced a reset, I didn’t know that he could do that without J.J but apparently the Anomaly is more powerful than I could have imagined if it granted him the ability to do so.”

“Why did he reset you, if things were going so well?” Logan asked.

“Hmmm,” the Glitch hummed. “Uncertain, but Chase went into the dome, it shrank into a smaller one and after five seconds we were standing at the same spot we always do when we are thrown back. Chase was crying and immediately he and I got into a fight with the Host. It was some nonsense about a doll and that the Host didn’t want to discuss him. All I know about this “doll” is that it had something to do with Dark. I can infer that Dark had some reaction and whatever the Anomaly made in that dome, it scared the Host.”

“Scared him, how?” Virgil asked, he’d been listening in and came over.

“Uncertain, but the results speak for themselves,” Glitch Logan smiled as a camera detached on a long cord to look at Virgil. “Come out from hiding, my sweet nightmare?”

“Get away from him,” Roman nudged himself in front of Virgil, drawing his sword.

Glitch Logan was smiling, “So full of life, I’m glad something is finally going right. Now if you all will excuse me, I have to ensure my future.”

Then his video turned off and the construction on the machine sped up.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations

1. Great, you fucking woke him up

2. fucking

3. calming

4. to

5. When the hunters were burning Brighton down and I was running around trying to help stop it, you were trying to protect Kay and his kid from some of the hunters. The fight almost killed you and Henrik agreed to let you hitch a ride until you got better. But you never left and after ten years you both became the Mortician.

6. If Brighton’s not burnin’ then Mort’s got no reason ta e’en exist.

7. something

8. then

[anteroom-of-death]

Life, For Dummies p6

a/n: so the words just flew out and boy. much thanks to all who read and commented and reblogged/liked! im sorry ahead of time! it will get uptempo again.optimism, babes.

You stood in the console room in wait, you had no clue the punishment that lay waiting. You didn’t know what was going to happen and that was worse than knowing. There had to be worse consequences for a consummate freak out that bordered on betrayal. 

For a snap you thought of just reverting back to being her companion just to smooth things over. To stop all the madness that was bound to ensue. But you didn’t. You held your ground, despite having to run away. 

You shivered involuntarily. You felt like a freezer that happened to be left open all night. You let yourself be crippled by everything. Seeing them left you blindsided, if you were a quarterback it’d have been a sack at the tenth yard line. 

Did that make the Master the coach?

You ended up stripping off your blazer and leaning over the console, mildly hyperventilating. Your arms glistening with sweat in the ambient lights. 

The door swung open and you hunched up. Jaw clenched your ringing in your ear came back, drowning all else out. 

You swore he was speaking but your mind was so swirled with thoughts and crackles and the persistent ring you ended up trying, “Get on with it, punish me. Kill me. You know I’m no good to you now.” but it came out garbled, as if you suffered a stroke. 

Maybe you did. 

You started a brief list of stroke symptoms but decided, was no use. If he was going to do what you thought, he’d probably use your own laser screwdriver against you. 

You suddenly remembered ages ago yourself in a similar situation. You disrespected him. You’d’ve done it three times now. 

If going by the sudden need for sports metaphors you were currently riding, third strike- you’re out. 

He wasn’t doing anything and that drove you absolutely insane. Clutching your sides, you spun around and met his eyes. Those eyes, so large and so beautiful and emotive were virtually unreadable. Your vision was getting blurry and your eyes started stinging. You were aghast with the day. It was a simple scheme. How could it go so wrong. You had heartburn. The acid was rising in your stomach and you tried to not hurl. The anticipation was getting to you on all levels. 

You elected to allow yourself to black out. You were headed that way, so you just gave into it without a fight. 

When you came to, you found yourself at your house, on your couch. Your favorite mug with your favorite tea blend was waiting for you and across the room leaning on your wall was him.

The Master. Your Master.

“Nice touch, passing out. Noble even.” His eyes yet again unreadable voids. 

Your head pounded and the back of your skull was a dull pain. 

You did notice and take appreciation from the pillows cupping you and your feet up.

“We need to talk.” His voice was just as unreadable as his eyes. The sentence flooded your throat and dropped into your stomach. You clenched your eyes and relaxed your jaw as you brought yourself up and cupped the mug gingerly. 

“Thank you.” You gave him a meager smile in genuine thanks. 

“Don’t think of it.” He waved it off.

He was uncharacteristically devoid of emotion or passion. Stoic. 

You took a few sips, letting the warmth and the taste give you strength and some comfort. You had lots of experience where this was going. Why fight it? He was an ageless alien and you were a human. The fact that he gave you all you got was phenomenal. 

You could feel your heart stop when you put it down. The silence was starting to get to you.

“I need some time.” He murmured, voice silky. 

“How long?” You hoarsely whispered. 

“No clue. I just need to process this.” 

What was processing time? Feasibly for him? You could be just here for a few moments and he could have taken centuries. Or he could have taken a day or 36 hours and you could already be dead. 

Maybe he was just telling you this to shake you off and stop more damage. 

You wanted to fight him on it. But how? Your jaw unlocked and lay slack. 

“You have a concussion. I’ve dealt with the necessary care. I put some pills that’ll take a week to heal you up properly.” He pointed towards the vicinity of your bathroom before pushing off your wall and headed towards a curio cabinet you really didn’t notice until now. 

Obviously, more than a week.

“Text me?” You said.

“Maybe.” He looked at you, his eyes were big and seemed filled with nothing but agony and resolve. 

You swore you saw his mouth move and a whisper of something you couldn’t make out. A different language.

He stepped in and the curio cabinet vanished from your living room. 

You leaned back, the Fam mentioned that your place was dusty, but obviously he must have broken out the dust buster. That was sweet of him to take care of the place before you were unceremoniously dumped on your ass. You went for your neck. The collar that you usually stroked in times of stress was gone, along with him. 

What was the date? You had no clue. Days passed, flooding into weeks. This agony of not knowing outweighed anything. You vaguely remembered the Covid-19 “shelter at home” but that was truly another life entirely. 

Twenty-twenty passed on and you had to get a new job, but nothing seemed to take for you. You’d either get fired for lackadaise or not showing up or quit out of the blue because you felt deep down you deserved better. Dozens of civilizations across the stars probably still spoke of you in hushed tones as a haughty goddess, or Queen sent by the divine. 

The nights were the roughest. A few times the cops were called because you were wailing in your sleep. They soon just stopped coming, unless your neighbors just accepted it as the new normal. 

If you could joke, and if you were in a joking mood, you’d probably remark how this was just like Bella Swan in New Moon “sksksksksk jksk lol!” But you weren’t anymore. You weren’t in a joking mood no matter what at the time. 

Life, without the Master, simply wasn’t worth living.

How could you go back? After all those stars seen? People met? And emotions felt. 

You felt your heart harden and break. 

You half thought of trying to push through the pain and see if you could somehow contact him. At least see if he was okay. Especially since you overheard the news at a metal bar you started working at that some strange lights followed by a subsonic explosion happened in a small city far away and there were confusing footages being leaked on social media of Daleks and death. It went away in a day, but still. You swore you heard a TARDIS in a few of the Facebook Lives people did as they died.  People thought it was a hoax. People were so dumb.

It made you ache. 

Maybe it was the Doctor, or the Master convincing them to go destroy somewhere more important. 

It was more likely her. 

You didn’t know which one would be worse, just in case more footage was released and you saw a flash of a face. 

You broke again, dropping the heavy drink laden tray on the ground and locking yourself in the walk-in fridge. Rackus sobbing came out of your chest like a snarling animal. You had to get yourself together before you lost the only job you made good tips at. You knew it was purely because the uniform was trampy, and not your sparkling personality or wit. You placed your head between your thighs and screamed through it, trying to see if that would stop you from your tears. It was literally more time that had passed than you had actually ran away with him at this point. 

You should have moved on. If not moved on, repress it enough to worry any mental health specialist. This wasn’t like you.

So you tried therapy. 

The big mistake there was dumbing it down and humanizing the Master and the Doctor so you didn’t sound like you needed inpatient care or to go on some watchlist somewhere in the universe. Let alone your planet. 

Some people somewhere might want to abduct you and harvest your organs for the residual artron energy. That could be valuable on certain markets. 

Or your brainwaves. Some planets would pay rogue Time Agents to harvest them and the knowledge you knew and technology you learned.

You became more skittish when walking at night. You had gotten so used to just blasting anyone who’d try to wrong you with your screwdriver. It was a crutch you missed. Every moving shadow scared you.

You also had to consider someone, somewhere might be angry enough with him enough and see that his little human whore was no longer velcroed to his side and go look for you. Penance for his actions, delivered unto you.

Not like he would care, obviously he was far gone and far away.

Your manager came in and gave a quick look at the sight before him.

“Why are you in here? People at table 6 were complaining. Had to give them vouchers and comp their bill.”

You wiped your eyes and got out from your hutched state, “The news. So much death.” You snorted up the snot threatening to leak out. 

Strange cognitive dissonance coming from someone who aided in toppling empires and had a past of executing people.

It wasn’t that, but my goodness, you had to sell it. It was a human thing to say.

“Oh, wow. I’ll give you a minute, then get back to work.” He closed the door gently and let you be. 

You paced and paced and thought, “What would he do?” But all the answers involved space tech you didn’t have in a five by eight cooler. Or loud theatrics and sass. 

You had none of those. 

For the first time in a while, you went to your neck and rubbed at it, wishing you still belonged to him, and you knew what to do. Anger flooded through you and honestly, you didn’t know who it was directed at. The anger felt good. A blistering difference to the waves of agony and silence in you.

You bratted off and knocked down a row of premade salsas and stomped out before heading to table 6. 

“Oh, so you didn’t fancy me dropping the drinks? Or whatever? You were complaining about the shape of the wings earlier? Anything else, your highnesses,“ You false curtsied before straightening out and untying your apron and tossing it on the ground, “Anything?” You spat.

They recoiled. 

The paunchy middle aged man asked, “What the fucks your problem? Like, what do you want? Cause you’re definitely not getting a tip now?”

An idea shot into your brain, “What do I want?” You jabbed a finger at yourself, “I want you to kneel!” You pointed at him and made a vague “get down” gesture with your index finger. 

“Kneel?”

“Kneel!” You ordered, all the chutzpah of a former self radiating through. You tossed a glass at that man’s head. It was no laser to the stomach but would do the trick. “I said, kneel for me, love.” 

The blood streaming from his head as he obeyed you, his fatty neck blubbering in pain and tears streaming down his face filled you with nostalgia. It felt good to be in this position again. Someone obeying you, the fear in their eyes, the sense of power it gave you knowing that you held the keys to their fate in your hands. A small pool of wetness nearly started between your thighs. Power was just so good, and feeling the fear come to him? Icing on a perverse cake.

Him kneeling was almost as natural as it felt for you to kneel ages ago. A labored, pleased breath escaped your lungs as you smiled and let off a laugh.

You turned to your manager and gave a grimace, “I quit, I just can’t take the pressure, dock my pay for the damages. Bye.”

You grabbed your stuff from behind the bar and ran out again from yet another job. 

At the back of your brain, you knew that possibly you’d go to prison for this. You assaulted a man. Out here in the real world, not the magic little world of madness, assault meant fines, sharing a prison cell with someone called Big Irma, ugly orange jumpsuits and a permanent record. Something that would prevent you from life.

Not that you had a life anymore. 

You arrived home and finally allowed yourself to let out all the true amount of tears you felt. You fell asleep on the linoleum of your entrance hall waiting for the cops to show up and take you away.

You were out for over a day, you woke up so sore and dehydrated. 

But the brunt of your emotions, you felt were over. 

You knew you had to consolidate who you were, who you had been, and where you were now. Make yourself one person, not a section of phases altered by the presence of Time Lords. 

But who were you before you’d met the Doctor and been the Master’s? 

That was the hard part.

Jogging that memory up.

You massaged your temples and went over to chug water directly from the kitchen faucet.

A normal human just couldn’t force people to follow their every whim. Or flit from here or there. 

Well, unless they were a politician or born to extreme wealth. 

You needed to be able to hold down a job, you needed to move on. He wasn’t coming for you. You finally and truly got it through your thick, pathetic human skull…

You wiped the water off your face with your bare hands and ripped off the bar’s uniform. You hunched over in your kitchen and cursed the day you ever met either Time Lord. Cupping your face in your hand you let out another massive groan and shook yourself free.

Those topics were not to be verboten. 

You had a traitorous thought, unless you worked for a government organization or paramilitary that dealt with the extraterrestrial. The job prospects for that seemed slim. You were formally in league with them. People might argue a conflict of interests or claim you were a double or triple agent. There was no true way to prove to a stupid ape that, you, another stupid ape weren’t giving off trade Earth secrets to known enemies of the planet. The list of aliens on watchlists was getting larger in the 21st century by the day. The Master definitely had to be on at least most of them. If not all. Though, the money would be quite good…

It was thought.

You were Earth-bound and just had to reintegrate. There had to be some books you could read. Life, For Dummies? Men are from Gallifrey, Women are from Earth? Something, even an obnoxious celebrity and an ill-trained life coach making a podcast on how to cope with a break up. Something.There 

Easier said than done.

It had to be done, however how hard.

What a pity, what a sham.

To paraphrase a comic, you were young, shiney and dumb. Easy to fool. 

You felt yourself utter, “If I ever see you again, first I’m going to kiss you, then I’m going to kick your ass.”

You pulled yourself back from those unhealthy words and bit your tongue.

This was bound to be hard.

But not impossible...

[oikawa13]

love in the time of köttbullar

Shouyou sets the bowl on the tiny table with a flourish and an itadakimasu! and this is when it hits Atsumu harder than a Skurup to the temple:He wants this. Shouyou, hip cocked against the miniature kitchen countertop, smiling shyly up at Atsumu through the amber fan of his lashes, beautiful god-boy-man somehow glowing gold even under the buzzy LED lighting. Though they’re standing in a 430,000 square foot warehouse in Tsurumachi, Atsumu’s looking at Shouyou, and he’s home.

Amid the Flärdfull and the Smörboll, Miya Atsumu falls a little more in love.

words: 3,378 | rating: T

i’ve never been inside an ikea so this fic quite literally changed me as a person. sometimes loving a person is as scary as saying that first i love you!!!! and sometimes... love is easy as saying i love you at an ikea ; ;

LAUNCHING MERRILY DOWN THE PATH OF SIN (THE FIRST TIME)

"Bokuto said I should bring you home. But I don’t know where you live. So I took you here.”

“To hell?”

"No, Atsumu-san. To my apartment."

words: 1,990 | rating T

i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this fic and then go on ao3 to reread it again its just so fdjgfhdjf good. i think about this shoyo a lot. theres something!!!! very dreamy going on here. this is the first part to a series btw, you can read them all if you want since theyre probably all around 1k :-)

lord i no longer believe in anything but the way he holds my name between his teeth

The miracle of the rabbit on the moon.

“We took this photo at their seventh birthday party. His father baked a cake. But someone ate all the jellybeans off the top before they could even sing the birthday song. That’s why Atsumu cried. He used to cry a lot. It stopped when the twins found out about volleyball, but before that Atsumu would cry over everything. Spilled milk. A skinned knee. The neighbor’s dog. He was the twin that was scared of paper straws. It's funny how things have changed.

“He looks happier now. Did you do that?”

words: 10,456 | rating: T

so, this goes just a liiiiitle past 10k so its up to you if you want to read it or not, i just thought i’d include it since its so! close! lol theres this part!!!!! they are holding hands underneath the table!!!!!!!!! atsumu are you drunk?!!! no!!!!! hes just so stupidly in love with shoyo. i cant stand them!!!!!!!!!!!

wait for it, wait for it

The notifications are up at 100+ again and Hana wants to check it quickly to make sure nothing's wrong, especially because she'd just cleared them before the media scrum. The fans, she figured, must be overjoyed with the win.Congratulations MSBY Nation!!! the first reply reads. #myspiker #atsuhinaBoth tags, she finds, are currently trending in Japan.

Five times #atsuhina trended on volleyball Twitter and one time it should have (but luckily didn't), as told by the MSBY Black Jackals' junior publicist

words: 6,043 | rating: T

this fic is SOOOOO much fun!!!!!! also i love hana, idk if i ever mentioned that before but yeah. this is like... hdjkdhgjfd so much ; ; <3

south of an early summer

Warmth, then, was being wanted back. Two weeks later, Atsumu holds that warmth in by Shouyou’s waist; he watches it, how it sleeps, and wonders what the heat will become next.

words: 2,602 | rating T | tw: atsumu being atsumu about (past) kg/hn for a split second

IF i wasnt an absolute fool and gave you all these recommendations to pick and choose from id just send you this and the walking emoji bc honestly!!!!!!!!! i may not know what the heck romantic means but i see this and maybe it is romantic! maybe its not the average romantic idk?!!!! but i do know theres something beautiful here. love ?? ; ;

truths in two’s

Shouyou leaves for Brazil in two hours.

words: 8,300 | rating: T

LDR.... but like, in probably one of the easiest 2 breathe/good feeling fic for ldr!!!! idk im a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ten reasons to break up with me: a love letter

1. It has to be you, ‘cause I won’t.

words: 4,197 | rating: T

pls....... i cant even THINK about this fic without crying okay!!!!!!!! insane. fuckign!!!! i love it so much, so much. it lives in my heart. this is the fic where i was like... i dont believe in love. yes i do. no<3 YES!!!!!!!! and cried and paced my room and finally FINALLY!!!!!! stopped feeling so hurt about hinata leaving for brazil again lmao!! like, i cant explain. this sounds crazy right???? anyway, i think... atsuhina can love each other so much it hurts when theyre apart but their love is so.... i mean......... they literally waited years to play together... so......... their love keeps them going..... GOODBYE!!!! i love listening to fka twigs cellophane & home with you and just..... being insane. 

just can’t help myself

Five times Hinata takes care of Atsumu, and one time Atsumu returns the favor.

words: 5,025 | rating: T

*think about atshn taking care of each other* *cries*

blue crush

And there’s a promise there, sewn into the easy curve of his lips: I’m not going anywhere, Atsumu-san. Glittering eyes that cut through the rain-blurry dark like a beacon when Shouyou turns back to look up at him. Even if you fuck up all of our dates.

Murphy’s Law as demonstrated by Miya Atsumu.

words: 2,297 | rating: T

atsumu trying very hard to have things perfect and romantic and even in the failures its still very lovely<3

If I’m Icarus, You Must be the Sun (Allow me Three Mistakes)

He wonders if Icarus felt like nothing was wrong with self-destructing, because he had reveled in the sun, if only for a little while.

Atsumu finds, loving Hinata is the same.

Atsumu's love over the years, and the mistakes that accompany it.

words: 4,620 | rating: T

i am...very weak to the whole icarus/sun thing with hinata and his ships. this one though......... i think about it A lot.

in your eyes, i see our future

“Yer’ a real sweetheart, Hinata Shouyou.”

Shouyou smiles brilliantly. “Only for you~”

He scoots over so Shouyou can sit next to him. He can smell the pineapple body wash Shouyou is so fond of the moment he sits down. Shouyou passes the tray over carefully before settling against the headboard comfortably.

“What’s the occasion?"

(Or, Atsumu just really wants to marry Shouyou.)

words: 9,769 | rating: T

fhdsjjkjfdsj goes crazy stupid over marriage!!!!! listen... i do not believe in marriage!!!!! but for atsuhina, oh you bet i do!!!! :-)

breathing a hello

There’s no significance to them ending up here except that both of their lives are held in the sway of volleyball. Everything else comes second.That’s the crux of it, really.

words: 2,826 | rating: T

gjhfsjkfd shhhhhhhhh. my heart is very soft when i think of them here, please..... just!!!! pls.

if you’re out there in the cold, i’ll cover you in moonlight

My [23M] best friend and ex-boyfriend [23M] is visiting me for a week, and my current boyfriend [24M] who agreed to all of this is suddenly withdrawing from me. Can I get some advice? Please? Anyone?

words: 8335 | rating: T | chapters: 3 | tw: past kg/hn 😳

this one is optional since you wanted one shots and theres 3 chapters here. my idea of romantic is...well, i especially love when one of them is acting hurtful/mean/difficult to the other bc their own personal issues but the other loves them anyway??? and then they work on that issue!!! just!!!!! ; ;

Love in the Time of Insomnia

And anyway Hinata was sprinting out faithfully after Atsumu, who had keys to the gym like a badass, and who was going to give his spikers a few more tosses after-hours without Meian knowing like the greatest, most generous badass the Jackals had ever seen. 

words: 2,457 | rating: G

running four kilometers just so atsumu can rest. this is what romantic means!!!! hdkshjfhdj

ode to what you’d have been

5 times it’s Kageyama’s fault and the 1 time Hinata realizes it has never been.

words: 3,628 | rating: G

loving someone including their flaws PART 2!!!!!! ok.... u might be like... um... this is romantic? hfdkhjfd LISTEN!!!! to me!!! there is nothing more romantic than being in love with someone and the ugly parts of them. going, i love you, all of you. and communication!!! and understanding!!! and feeling terrible and shitty and horrible but having the one you love accept you. and trying to help ease your mind, worries. *sobs real hard* also shout out 2 ‘okaaayy.... i hate sakusa now’

a shrine for a  boy

Despite his uncertainty about how to tell Atsumu of his move to São Paulo, Hinata takes action. Things do not go according to plan.

words: 2,447 | rating: G

hinatas time 2 be romantic and fail but its ok bc!!!!!!!!!! :-) they are just dummies in love<3

the greatest distance between you and longing is defeat

(In other words: Atsumu, let go. I’m here now.)

words: 3,310 | rating: G

um... *cries* post break up.... o_o!!!! god they really thought they could????? lmao!!!!!!

the tear in this (our gentle language)

“I’m going back to Brazil.”

He isn’t asking for permission. This isn’t a consultation. Hinata Shouyou informs his boyfriend at their after-practice practice. Miya Atsumu has a volleyball in each arm, trying to pick up a third. It drops and rolls away from him. The thud resounding in an empty gymnasium.

Shouyou had tried to envision Atsumu’s reaction many times. He never expected to be met with silence.

Alternatively: an exploration of Hinata Shouyou’s return to Brazil

words: 7,204 | rating: M

ldr CAN be romantic ok!!!!!!!! it takes a lot of communication, time, and love ; ;

evening sun

Atsumu looks at Shouyou and thinks, I want to know every inch of you.

words: 1,502 rating: M

[starryseo]

torn. | han jisung + lee felix

pairing ↠ jisung x gender neutral!reader, felix x gn!reader

genre ↠ fluff? bit angsty- royalty au!

wc ↠ 5501

summary ↠ how can one follow their heart when it’s split in two?

warnings ↠ none!

a/n ↠ instead of writing 2 different fics for their bdays i’ve given u the best of both worlds :) enjoy :)

being the only heir to the throne was extremely difficult

you had to go through so many different classes, formal events and gatherings in a single day

and it was vvv stressful

your parents insisted on you joining in on their meetings with other higher-ups so you could understand how to deal with each person

and although you knew it was only going to benefit you when you inevitably took over

you really just wanted a break

time alone was so fleeting and you hated that

whenever you had time to relax or enjoy yourself, you’d be too tired to actually do so properly

as much as you enjoyed some of the lessons, like archery (your personal trainer minho was definitely a Sight to see) and cookery (bc mrs han would always let you eat the food you made)

it was extremely tiring and you wished for just one day where you could do absolutely nothing

you always envied the people that werent of your status, people that didnt (quite literally) have a kingdom thrust upon their shoulders

they got to enjoy the finer things in life: normal conversations with their families; they could go out wherever, buy things for themselves and admire the country’s scenery

instead, you were stuck with only ever having meetings with your parents to discuss upcoming deals, people showering you with unwanted gifts to woo you over, and accompanied walks out into your garden

you couldn’t even walk in your own garden alone

there was, however, one special thing that you did look forward to seeing everyday

and that came in the form of an 18 year old boy

han jisung.

han jisung was as close to perfection you thought anyone could get

having practically grown up with the boy, you thought you knew everything there was to know about him

and vice versa, of course

he was your confidant

the only one you could go to when your stress was too high and you had no idea how to cope

he’d seen you through a lot of bad days but his smile alone could always brighten up your mood

he was extremely caring

always putting your needs before his own despite you insisting he treats you as an equal

you knew he didn’t do it bc of your status, it really was just how he was as a person

even to complete strangers, he was always so nice, helping them out without a care

you really wondered how he could be so carefree when outside the castle

this one time he had snuck you out of the castle during your lesson with him

you looked so sad when you came to the stable for your horseriding lesson and his heart ached as soon as he saw your frown

and almost instantly he knew what to do!!

since your horseriding lessons took place inside the castle, your bodyguard didn’t stay with you, entrusting jisung with your safety instead

and he decided that an impromptu trip to the great Outside was exactly what you needed!

so, sneaking out through the back of the stables, donning jisung’s jacket, hat and a face mask, you both escaped the castle

this side of the castle was for the common people that worked inside, like the maids, chefs, stableboys, and when mrs han, your favourite cookery teacher and also jisung’s mum, saw you trying to leave, she simply smiled, waving for the common guards to let you through

he shot a thankful grin at his mum before grabbing your hand, taking you out of the castle

when he wasnt training you and the horses, he spent his time going out of the castle, bringing back small things from his adventures

you didn’t like people showering you with riches, but the small flowers and hand-made bracelets jisung brought back were exceptions to that

he weaved expertly through the hustle and bustle, taking you to a quaint cafe nearby

your grip on his hand tightened - what if people recognised you? word would spread and you would be in so much trouble!

yet, as soon as jisung rubbed your hand soothingly, turning to give you a reassuring smile, all your worries vanished

this cafe was one you frequented (when you escaped your royal walls with jisung)

so when changbin, the owner’s son, saw jisung and a ridiculously-disguised figure (you) walk in, he snickered, ushering you two over into the backroom

he snuck some food and hot drinks to you both during his shift as you snuck away

although you always had to be on alert, jisung’s relaxed demeanour rubbed off on you

you enjoyed doing things like this with him, not caring about your next lesson, or the plethora of princes/esses you had to impress next

you loved just sitting on the floor with him, sharing a plate of cookies and all your secrets

“thank you for this, ji” you sighed, leaning your back against the wall as you sipped on your drink

“don’t worry ‘bout it!” you scrunched your nose when he grinned, cookie crumbs lining the corner of his lips

you raised your hand to wipe away the crumbs, but as soon as your finger touched him, he jumped back

“how indecent, sunshine! the royal highness touching someone as lowly as me? what would your parents say?”

you rolled your eyes at his joke, leaning your head on his shoulder

“you, lowly? you’re better than nearly everyone in that castle, ji”

“what do you mean ‘nearly’? i thought i was your best friend!” he nudged you, a massive pout on his face

 “well, you are my best friend, but that’s nothing compared to minho’s face, seriously,,,”

“yeah, im definitely telling your parents this now”

“hey i was joking,” you smiled, poking his side so he would laugh instead of pouting more, “you’re my favourite person in that castle”

“hey lovebirds, shouldn’t you be heading back to the castle?” changbin popped into the kitchen, hanging up his apron, “you’ve been here for almost an hour”

at that, both your and jisung’s carefree attitudes were gone like the wind, eyes wide and bodies rigid as you realised you had to leave. now.

as quickly as you both could, you ran out of the cafe

you don’t know when jisung reached back to hold your hand, pulling you along with him, but a sudden warmth filled you, and you were sure it wasn’t bc of the unexpected exercise

you arrived just a split second before guards had come into the common house, demanding to know where you were since you weren’t waiting by the stables like usual

“i’m fine, i was just a bit hungry so i asked mrs han for some food!”

your bodyguard nodded at that, waiting for you start walking so he could guard you

just as he went ahead to open the doors, you turned around, waving wildly at jisung who was already returning the gesture, and you mouthed a quick ‘thank you!’ before following your guard back to the castle grounds

han jisung was like a sunrise, you always thought

not only because he could brighten your days with the smallest of smiles, but because he was a wisp of fresh air from your tedious life

he always had a trick up his sleeve, something new and surprising to ignite your life, just like the sun rose and breathed life into everything it shone down upon

whenever you saw him, you were sure you could literally see him glow, a heavenly light outlining him because there was no way on earth jisung was anything less than an angel

he was, in simple terms, stunning

even tho he couldnt understand exactly what you went through on a daily basis, he tried so hard to relate to you, knowing exactly what to do to make you feel better

and for that, you couldn’t be more grateful

weeks had passed and your life went as it normally did until one thursday evening

the dining room was filled with its usual quietude, cutlery clinking against plates as you ate your food in peace

although you wished your parents would speak up more, ask you how your day went and not be so focussed on business, you took notice of their tired eyes and held-back yawns

nonetheless, you enjoyed simply being in their presence without deadlines looming over you and the constant nagging from your counsellors

just as you were about to break the silence your father spoke up

he cleared his throat to catch your attention before speaking, “tomorrow, the royal family from our sister country will be coming over to stay”

“o-oh? why?” you furrowed your eyebrows at your father’s announcement

it had been a while since you had last seen that family alone

of course you saw them whenever your family held large events but they hadn’t visited, and stayed over, at your castle in a while

“conflict has been rising at the borders, and you know we cannot be having wars start between our countries”

you nodded and your father continued eating, ending the talk there

you headed straight to bed after that, but you found it hard to sleep because your mind kept wondering back to the family that were arriving soon

or, more specifically, the prince

lee felix.

you woke up grumpily the next morning, having stayed up a few hours later than usual simply because you couldnt sleep

the knocking at your door was getting louder and you could barely hear your maid, hana, yell out your name

grumbling, you got out of bed, pulling open the door. “what’s the matter hana?”

“your highness, the lee family has arrived, why aren’t you ready?”

“i just woke up-”

“oh goodness!” you watched her panic, stuttering something about how your parents would have her head for your lateness, eyes wide in fear, and you laughed to ease her worries

“hana, please, calm down. i’ll wash up, but could you get my clothes?���

she nodded before scurrying off to piece together your attire and accessories

and you made the quickest run ever to get yourself cleaned and presentable

of all days to oversleep, you sighed, shaking your head to push away your fatigue

you groaned at the clothes hana haid lain out on your bed; they looked uncomfortably rich and you couldnt wait to get out of them already

you tried to walk into the dining hall as quietly as possible, but the conversation that was going on stopped as soon as you entered, 5 pairs of eyes on you the second you stepped past the door

you walked forward, bowing your head and greeting the family in front of you, them returning the gesture

king lee smiled as you sat down, joking, “how nice of you to finally join us!”

you stuttered out an apology, looking away nervously, but he shook his head to dismiss your worries

your eyes flittered to felix who was sitting in the seat furthest away from you

he was already looking at you, smiling when you caught his eye and you adored how his eyes crinkled at the corners

you had zoned out as the adults talked and, occasionally, when you and felix made eye contact, he’d pull a weird face

you bit your lips to hold back your laugh but he joined you in grinning

after finishing breakfast, your mother proposed you take felix on a tour of the house as the adults talked over the issues at hand

"anywhere you’d like to go in particular?”

“surprise me, your highness” he nudged your side, eyes eagerly wandering around the halls of your home

you rolled your eyes at what he called you, “since when have you been the formal type?”

he shrugged, smirking, “just thought it was fitting,” he winked at you before walking ahead, “let’s go to the gardens!”

“thought you wanted me to surprise you...” you mumbled, picking up your pace to catch up with him

he waited by the doors leading outside, just so he could hold them open for you and when you thanked him, he let out a teasing, “anything for you, your highness”

“i have a name for a reason, felix, please use it”

“but i like calling you ‘your highness’, your highness”

“it sounds so... so weird though, we’ve known each other since we were kids, we practically grew up together”

“better get used to it then, your royal highness”

you let out a horrid groan at his insistence on the nickname

if there was one thing you remembered about felix

it was that he was stubborn as anything

when you were kids this trait usually transferred into competitiveness and a desire to constantly beat you - he would always beg for rematches if you ever beat him

now his persisting nature made you want to poke him until he stopped, but, since he was your guest, you would try to hold off on doing that for as long as you could

“oh, you remember jisung, right?” you asked, leading him down a familiar path

when you were younger and felix visited, the 2 of you would play outside in the garden and then sneak away to the common area to play with jisung too

the visits became infrequent as you grew older, but jisung was always acting as a waiter at formal events, so the 2 boys still would have seen each other around the castle

“of course i do”

it was a normal reply, and yet you sensed some sort of underlying bitterness when he said that because the ever-present smile on his face wilted slightly at the mention of the other boy

you brushed it off as you overanalysing - felix really had no reason to hate jisung, and you’d never seen the 2 of them fight, nor had either come to you, complaining about the other

you led him to the common house, knocking on the door to the entrance, before going in

you greeted the people lounging around there, snickering slightly as they rushed to welcome felix in properly

you noticed how some of the staff blushed as felix smiled at them, nervously giggling in front of him and you cringed slightly

you held back your laguh as they grew nervous in his presence, but he didn’t seem to mind, his grin growing larger as though he knew what effect he was having on them

“hey mrs han, where’s ji?”

“good morning, your highnesses, he went out to get some food, he should be coming back soon”

“is it alright if we wait here for him?”

“of course!” she smiled, eyes tired but still shining - you admired her pure enthusiasm and the hard work she put into everything she did

she swatted off the other workers that were lazing around so you could sit down

“it’s a pleasure to see you again, prince felix,” mrs han said, placing a plate of warm cookies on the small table in front of you

“the pleasure is all mine, mrs han,” felix beamed, “and might i say, you look like you haven’t aged since the last time i saw you!”

“you are too kind, my prince,” she laughed at his compliment, “he’s a keeper, isn’t he, y/n?”

felix turned to you when mrs han said that, throwing you an exaggerated wink

“he’s a real catch,” you said, voice monotoned and he nudged you at your lack of enthusiasm

“c’mon your highness,” felix teased, lifting your hand to press a kiss in the back before ending with a wink, “admit it.”

you dont know why your hand warmed at the contact, nor why you felt a weird fluttery feeling in your stomach at the overused action, yet you didn’t exactly hate what you were going through

before you could reply, you heard someone clear their throat to break the conversation

“ji!” you exclaimed, jumping from your seat, “felix is here!”

“so it seems,” he murmured, eyes unmoving from felix’s face

you turned to felix, only to see him staring straight back at jisung, eyes unblinking

you looked at mrs han, raising a brow, confused at their awkward behaviour, and she just shook her head, mumbling, “boys...” before grabbing the bags from jisung’s hands and walking off

“alright,” you clapped, breaking both boys out of their stare-off, “let’s go outside!”

“you two go ahead, i’ve got something to do,” jisung murmured

“please, ji, we came here just for you,” you pouted, pulling his wrist to make him join you

“i’ll come later, i swear, y/n,” he replied, lightly squeezing your hand in promise

you nodded before leaving with felix, but you couldnt help feel something was off about him

he hadn’t called you by your name in years.

you and felix had decided to stay outside, sitting on one of the benches just to catch up with each other

mrs han had, kindly enough, sent someone over with a basket of food for you to snack on as you listened to felix talk about his friends

“i’ve missed this, you know?”

“missed what?” you asked, quickly swallowing a bite of your sandwich

“this, us, the two of us being with each other”

“o-oh” you mumbled, staring down at the food in your hand, “it has been a while hasn’t it?”

you tried to skirt around the topic, not knowing exactly what he meant or why he would miss you so much

you were avoiding his gaze, but you could still feel his eyes peering at the side of your face

“please look at me,” he whispered, and you dont know what exactly it was about his voice, but despite your sudden shyness at the topic, you felt compelled to look at him

he slowly grabbed your hand, the touch warming you instantly as he rubbed circles on the back of your hand

his eyes were glistening under the sun, roaming all over your face as soon as you turned to him

all you could focus on was him

his eyes

his freckles

his lips-

“hope i’m not interrupting anything!”

thank god for jisung bc you dont know how much longer you could stay unmoving under felix’s intense gaze

as soon as you looked at your best friend, felix had turned away too, scooting away from you and you wondered if he’d been that close to you the whole time

“you came!” you cheered as enthusiastically as possible, but felix’s actions were just replaying in your mind and jisung could tell there was something off about the both of you now

jisung had run the short distance left to you, sitting himself in the gap between you and felix

“so, sunshine, why’d you so desperately want to see me?”

“i wasn’t desperate, you fool, i just wanted all of us to hang out together, like old times”

“ah yes, the dream team plus felix,” although he was only joking, smirk on his face clearly showing that, only you and jisung had laughed at that

“hey, i was just kidding,” he said, nudging felix when said boy just carried on staring at the ground

“i gathered” felix grumbled, sighing before standing up, “i need to use the bathroom”

“i can show you-”

“i’ll find it myself.” he cut you off, walking in the direction of the castle

“whats got the prince so grumpy?” jisung asked rhetorically

you shrugged, his actions still reeling in your mind

“let me guess,” jisung started, “he got all moody as soon as i came, right?”

“now that you mention it, yes, he did, but what has that got to do with anything?”

in all your time knowing the two boys, they had never argued in front of you; the three of you always played together nicely, albeit they both were closer to you than they were to each other, but you just assumed that was because they never knew each other that well

now that you were all older, you hoped they had grown out of their childish ways, but apparently not

“um, everything??” jisung spoke, like everything he was saying was clear as day, “he’s probably jealous of us because i’m pretty sure he likes you.”

you laughed at that

hysterically

felix??? liking you?? that was CrazyTM even for that wild child

“seriously jisung i dont know how you came up with that, but that was a good one”

“for once, y/n, im not joking”

your chuckles died down when you noticed he really wasnt laughing with you

your eyebrows furrowed, confusion already lacing your words as you asked “why would he even like me?”

“beats me,” he joked, shrugging his shoulders and, despite that being a harmless, dismissive action, it hurt

so much

sure, jisung was your best friend but was there really nothing about you that he liked?

you hated how much a small gesture like that got to you, but you couldnt stop the sadness bubbling inside of you even if you tried

“wow, thanks,” you scoffed, dusting off your clothes before standing up, “i’m going to see if felix is okay.”

“wait, y/n-” he jumped up, pulling you back to him by your wrist. “i didn’t mean it like that, i-”

“it’s whatever, jisung,” you tugged your hand out of his grasp before walking back to the castle

you wanted to hear him out, he looked so desperate to talk to you, but your mind was hazy with so many different thoughts and emotions you just need to get away from him

so you walked back inside, taking your time as you climbed the staircase to the room that felix was staying in

you knocked on his bedroom door, entering when you heard a low, “come in”

he was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the ground, his hands covering his face

you rushed over to him, quickly shutting the door behind you, before you crouched in front of him

gently holding his wrists, you moved his hands away from his face

you brushed away his hair that had fallen in front of his face, glad to see that he wasn’t crying

but his crestfallen expression wasnt heartwarming either

he had barely glanced up at you, finding the carpet much more intriguing to stare at

“talk to me, felix, what’s the matter?”

“nothing, it’s stupid,” he sighed, falling back onto the bed. once again, he covered his eyes with his forearm.

you lay down besides him on the bed, staring at the ceiling

you both stayed like that for a while, completely silent, but it was comforting just being besides felix like that

jisung’s words were running through your head and, although you felt bad for leaving him like that, you were curious as to whether or not there was any truth behind his words

could lee felix really like you?

“hey, felix?”

he hummed, arm unmoving, to tell you he was listening

“has this got something to do with jisung?”

he let out a long sigh before turning onto his side to face you

you mirrored his position, staring at his face to see him doing the same

he bit his lip, closing his eyes as though he was contemplating what to say

when he finally opened his eyes again, you listened to him intently

“in a way, yes?” he started, chuckling a bit, “this is going to sound so stupid, but, i guess i just envy the two of you.”

you furrowed your brows, pouting slightly at hearing his confession - why did he feel jealous though? jisung was right about that part-

“stop doing that,” felix whined, his own lips pouting

your eyes widened at his sudden exclamation, “doing what exactly?”

“stop being so cute”

“felix-”

“i like you, okay? i’ve liked you for so long, but jisung likes you too and it kills me because i know that you’d pick him over me any day”

you couldnt believe jisung was actually right.

felix seriously liked you?

liked you as more than just a friend??

your thoughts were going haywire, his confession playing like a broken record in your mind

“i-i didn’t know-”

he laughed at that, facing the ceiling once more, “that’s kind of the whole point of a crush”

you were stunned.

how were you even supposed to reply to that??

“it’s hard not to like you, really.” he started, and you noticed his cheeks turning rosy with every word he spoke. “you’re so down-to-earth, unlike a lot of the other royals we meet who are conceited and full of themselves, you’re so kind to people, but you won’t ever let them push you around or take you for granted, y’know? and you’re always hands on, you love helping others out even when your parents or mrs han are telling you not to; god, i could go on for eternity about the little things i like about you y/n...”

by the time he had said all of that, he was facing you once more, hand slowly coming to rest on your cheek as he stared closely at you

“do you remember the first time we met?”

small smiles crossed both of your faces as you thought back to childhood memories

“of course i do, at the hwang palace”

hwang hyunjin was like a brother to felix, despite being the prince of a different country

the two were practically inseperable - whenever there was a formal event taking place, you would always find one right beside the other

you remembered that day very clearly. it was one of the first times you had actually left your country for a function. before that, your parents had kept you at home to review work since they thought you were too young to be out at large, noisy social events

so when you rocked up at the hwang party, hiding behind your dad’s leg as he greeted other kings, hyunjin and felix took the initiative to grab your hands and literally drag you away to the other kids there

hyunjin disappeared a little while after to beg the cooks to sneak you kids some food

and felix whisked you away to hyunjin’s room

at first you were scared (bc 2 boys were dragging you away and your parents were just smiling at you to have fun)

but you realised they werent all that bad. felix made you feel really welcome as he shared the food already in hyunjin’s room

you both played with the toys and half-built fort felix and hyunjin had already set up

and by the time hyunjin had come back with a massive bag full of sweets you were 100 per cent you didnt ever want to leave these two

you were literally on the verge of crying when hyunjin’s maid came up telling you that you had to go

you and felix were literally begging your parents to stay but to no avail :(((

that continued on for years after that until the 3 of you had grown up and it was no longer socially acceptable for 3 royals to go into a bedroom together for hours on end bc who knows what would be going on in there

you’d still catch felix sending you sly grins when you met him in the hall and he’d always jokingly ask you to dance with him

and each time you’d send him away or run to hyunjin to save you

spoiler: he never saves you

so you’d end up dancing with felix and it would be so bad

you knew he could dance bc he had put on performances at his own family’s events

but here you two were too busy laughing and chatting away to try to not step on the other’s feet

“i was so sad when hyunjin came back up, y’know?”

“why? we were in his room,” you laughed at his childish behaviour

“because,” he whined, “we were having so much fun together and you were the first kid that actually came up and joined us, everyone else stayed with their parents”

“i mean, i didnt have much choice did i? you two dragged me upstairs to play with you.”

“touche-”

by now both of you were staring at the ceiling again, thinking back on many childhood memories

“it wasn’t love,” he started, “we were 7 i dont think i even knew what love was then, but i could just- i don’t know, i could tell there was smth about you then. and when we met up after that i think i just fell for you a bit more each time.”

it was so odd hearing felix talk about how he liked you

the boy was always joking around, a grin plastered on his face, but here he was speaking so earnestly and it left you completely speechless

you couldnt lie to yourself

you had thought about felix in some romantic way before

as you grew up your parents would always make comments about how you and felix were so close

add that to the fact that both of your parents were very close too

you honestly thought you’d end up marrying felix one day to satisfy your parents and your nations

of course the topic of marriage wasnt for another few years but these thoughts had bombarded your mind every now and then - more so when your father announced the lees would be coming over

but right now, as you lay besides him, mind an utter mess, you had no clue how to respond to him

all thoughts abruptly stopped as soon felix spoke

“can i kiss you?”

your thoughts went wild after that, but somewhere in that mess you vaguely remember nodding before one of you moved close and the other even closer, diminshing any distance between the two of you

it was short but lasting

his hand came up and rested on your cheek, barely holding onto you like you were the finest china he had ever laid hands on

so scared to break you, yet unwilling to let you go

his touch was warm and comforting, like a sunrise, appreciation and love washing over you in blissful waves

you pulled away from him, his eyes slowly opening at crinkling at the edges as he grinned

“you dont know how long ive wanted to do that for”

you laughed at his excitement and the smile on his face, but the door slamming shut broke you out of this joyous moment

you had a sinking feeling you knew who was there and without wasting a second you got up

your mind barely registered felix calling your name out as you ran out, quickly catching up to jisung who was halfway down the stairs already

“ji, please wait!”

“why?? you seemed perfectly fine up there with prince charming!”

he stopped where he was, turning around and watching as you ran down until you were just a step in front of him

“can you just- can you please just talk to me, ji.” you sighed, holding onto his wrists gently so he wouldn’t run away again, although you felt he wouldn’t try anyways. “what’s wrong?”

“me! i’m what’s wrong!”

“i don’t underst-”

“god, y/n, i’m in love with you!”

and you froze.

you were glad jisung was holding onto your arms bc you lost your grip on any rational thoughts

you felt his hand slowly leave yours, instead trailing up your arm, your shoulder, your neck, until he reached your face, thumb running over your rosy cheek as he brushed away the stray hairs

“i’m sorry you had to find out like this,” he started, voice so quiet but so loud in your mind. “but i’m not sorry i feel this way. i probably should,” he chuckled, “but i don’t.”

you vaguely remember his fingers weaving through your hair as he pulled you closer to him, his breathing light as he murmured a small, “may i?”

and you nodded.

you dont know who moved first or who closed the gap between you, but you remember him.

his lips brushing yours gently before he pressed against you with more passion

his other hand dropped your wrist, finding sanctuary on your waist as he drew you closer and you gravitated towards him so naturally, so easily, he smiled into the kiss

your hands found purchase on his chest, his heart’s rythmic beating playing like a melody in your palm and you grinned too

soon enough you broke away, faces mere centimeters apart, both of you blushing and beaming

“you’re so stunning, sunshine” he breathed, not breaking the tranquility of the moment

and you couldn’t help but look away shyly, his gaze too endearing and intimate for you to handle

when you look back up his eyes are focussed on the top of the staircase and you worry your parents or staff are there, fuming

but when you turn around your heart dropped because there, at the end of the staircase, is felix.

hhhhhhhhhhh do i even need to explain how sorry i am that this took literal months to post??? the ending was killing me bc i didnt know how to write it and then personal stuff came up but nOW it’s finally done!!!! im gonna get smth up for jeongin’s bday too (lets pray i can actually post it before february ends). hope u enjoyed reading this!!!!

[killitquick]

A Joke.

 Request: Can u please do 82 with Michael gray peaky blinders. 

Warnings: blood and death mentioned. 

Finn, Isiah, and Michael were drinking together down by the cut. It was a warm summers evening and the boys had a bottle of whisky between them. You were at home however writing a paper for class. You were studying to be a nurse and nothing was going to get in your way. Not even Michael Gray. This was going to be one of your last papers of the year and you wanted it to be good. So good that it would be Mindy Fabriello’s. She was dumber than a sac of hammers but somehow she managed to get by and somehow her paper seemed to be better than yours by huge margins. So you had sent Michael out to so you could just sit in silence and work in peace. 

You suppose it’s your fault for what transpired that day because you sent him away. You figured he’d go to the office and work on some business stuff for Shelby Ltd. but you were wrong. You had never thought that he would go and get dumb and dumber. 

Michael lay in the grass his hands behind his head creating a make shift pillow. His eyes were closed in blissful drunkenness and his skin soaked up the last few rays of the sun. Michael drifted in and out when he heard Finn start talking. 

“ Wouldn’t it be funny if” 

You were sitting in the living surrounded by notes, text books, and crumpled up pieces of paper. You notices the sun dipping down and sigh. You were becoming frustrated beyond belief and you had wished that Michael would come waltzing in through the door. You were hoping that he would come and take your mind off of things. At the thought of Michael you started to feel the familliar twinge of want start coursing through your veins. 

As if god himself answered your prayers you heard the door open and slam into the wall. You were confused for about a second before Isiah came running in out of breath with blood all over. 

“ It’s Micheal, he’s hurt bad” he wheezes out. 

Everything in your hands and lap drops too the floor. You stand up in a rush knocking over the coffee table sending tea all over the floor. You don’t even stop to put on shoes you just run after Isiah. You dress flows behind you as you run through Small Heath after Isiah.  When you get there you see Finn pacing also covered in blood. There’s something stick out of Michael and you can see the blood all over his creme coloured shirt you had passed him this morning. It’s all over his face and neck and you gasp at the sight.  You rush to his side and check to see if he’s breathing when he body lurches forwards. 

A scream erupts out of you and you propel yourself backwards. The sound of the boys laughter hits your ears and you catch your breath as you see Michael with a dazzling smile on his face.  You see his mouth move but you’re so confused you can’t wait hear what he’s saying. 

“ It’s just a joke baby, I swear” he laughs out. Hands clutching his sides.  

Your mouth opens and you plan to yell but all that comes out is a choked sob. The tears roll hotly down your face and you can’t contain it. You had felt everything in you stop when you saw him lying there, everything in you ran cold but you held on because you needed to. You’re training had kicked in and you went straight to work pushing down any feelings you may have had but the crisis had been averted and everything burst in you. 

The boys laughing die out as they watch you sob on the ground. Isiah quickly notices your bare and now black feet and he frowns. Finn was right it would be funny but now it wasn’t and he had felt the pit of dread start to grow in his chest. Your house wasn’t far from here and so he took off to your home to grab your shoes for you. Michael had never seen you cry and knowing he was the direct cause of it made his heart break. He thought the idea was a good one but he was also drunk.  He watched as your from crashed in on itself and he stumbled forward reaching for you. Collecting you into his arms he held you as you sobbed. 

“ Im sorry. Im so sorry” he repeats into your hair. 

Finn watches horrofied. He didn’t think it would go like this and he didn’t think he’d feel like this. He just stood there and watched as Michael tried to console you. He supposed the idea was a tad cruel and a sober Finn would have never even thought of it, but he had and it was directly his fault. Finn looked around for Isiah and saw he was running back towards the group with a pair of shoes in his hands.  

“ ‘ere, I got your shoes” you here Isiah say. 

You had stopped crying and now just sat in Michael's arms covered in red paint that in the heat of the moment look strikingly like blood. 

“ Thank you.” You say pulling them on.  

Michael took you home right then and there. You guys shared a bath cleaning all of the bright red off of your bodies, and then went to bed. Since Michael was still quite drunk he had fallen asleep quite easily with you pressed against his chest. However you couldn’t sleep you were wide awake. You had slipped downstairs and sat in the living room turning on the lights, you quickly finished your essay and tucked everything away into your school bag.  You sat in the silence and a plan formulated in your head. What happened today would not go silently in the night, oh no!  

Michael was a heavy sleeper, that he knew.  He was an even heavier sleeper when he had been drinking, usually you would wake him up with breakfast and coffee and he would sing your praise because “ damn woman you make a mean breakfast, and this coffee could bring the dead back to life” but today that didn’t happen. Michael awoke because of the sun being high in the sky flooding the bedroom with natural light. He groaned and rolled over searching for you body but couldn’t find it. He opened his eyes to see that all of your dresser drawers were left open and empty.  Immediately sitting up Michael then notices the closet door and how all of your dresses were gone too.  He jumped out of bed flying down the stairs looking for any existence of you but he couldn’t find anything. Michael was distraught he had never felt this panicked in his life, and he literally had a gun in his head once. He ran back upstairs and noticed the letter addressed to him on the night side table. 

Dear Micheal, 

After the stunt you pulled yesterday I no longer feel safe in this house. I can not be with someone who thinks a joke as cruel as that is funny.  you’ve broken my heart and I have nothing left to say but goodbye. 

xx (Y/N) 

Time stopped, it was like everything was working in slow motion now. He had no idea where you could have even gone but he knew he needed you back. He couldn’t do anything by himself. You had taken care of everything for him since you guys had started to date. How was he to survive without your love.  He pulled on pants and a random shirt and ran down the stairs. He stopped to put his shoes on but that’s the only time he did stop. He ran all the way to Polly’s house where he banged on the door with all his might. His chest was heaving his throat was burning and he could feel the familiar sting of tear right behind his eyes.  The door opens and he starts yelling for his mum. 

“ What’s wrong” Arthur asks 

“ She’s gone. She left. It’s all my fault”  Michael puffs as he makes his way into his mothers house.

 It isn’t till he gets to the parlour that he hears your laugh.  He can hear you talking with Polly and Ada about the betting shop.  He walks into the room and see you there in all of your glory. Your hair is pinned up out of your face but the sun is caught in and it makes it seem like you’re glowing. Like you have a hallow above your head. His knees are weak with need as he watches you laugh. 

“ Darling. Y-Your note” Michael says catching your attention. 

Your eyes slide up his body. His hair is in thirty different directions his shirt is un tucked and his shoes are hardly done up. You take a sip of tea letting the hot liquid slide down your throat before you respond. 

“ Oh that!” you exclaim a smile wide on your pretty face 

“ Yea that” Michael grumbles 

“ That was just a joke love”  

[sweetly-cider]

Three's a Crowd

Part 8

Co-written with @mamajuliet and @mamajebbun

<So you knew him? Why would you be upset he had a...> Swirl stopped as she thought about it. She then laughed to herself. Trying to doubt the thoughts she was having. But It was overwhelming. <Ha. No way. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't go back to the person he slept with to make a deal with them.>

<I'm being stupid again.> Swirl winced. <Maria... I'm wrong right?>

Ale looked up as Swirl laughed, then grew concerned as her face silently cycled through a gamut of emotions.

"Uh... Hey, Swirl, everything ok," he asked hesitantly, fully aware that an inner conversation was going on. He reached out to try to help, but slowly pulled his hand back before he could, tucking both it and the other under his arms nervously. He hated not knowing what was going on.

<He went to my coworker, who didn’t really have a use for him for what he wanted. I happened to be there, needing a new host, so I made the contract with him.> Maria confessed. <He wasn’t all that thrilled to see me, just as I wasn’t all that thrilled to see him, but yes. He did go right back to to me for help.>

She almost laughed then. <Although, he did get quite riled up when I told him I knew him from that when I was Joel. Was the best reaction I could have ever gotten from him because he didn’t know I was Jolene as well.> she paused knowing Swirl was probably panicking over their relationship. She didn’t want to defend Ale, but she didn’t want Swirl to stress out more.

<Yes, he did come to me, but to be fair, when I went through his memories, he hardly remembered me. His focus was on you, on his brother.>

<That's not the point Maria!> Swirl flinched talking back to her. <Just... we were trying again! Him sleeping with you wasn't what upset me the most. It was him hiding it and him hiding what he did to his brother. Just... I'm fed up of being lied too! Or him keeping secrets. He hasn't even said it to me who you really are to him! >

<I don’t know much about how relationships work, but I do know he was reluctant to even make a contract with me because he didn’t want to lose you.> Maria pointed out. <He refused to even think about it when he had to kiss me for me to possess him, just as you had. He was that determined to not wrong you. I still find it sickening that he wanted me to keep the truth from you when you found me out.>

Maria dug through her memories to support what she said next:

<I don’t think he understands that his lies and untruths are what got him to lose you to begin with. He literally was like me and Jolene, not really looking for any relationships. Then he found you. I still don’t understand what made him change, but something made him stick to you. Did you ever tell him what you expected of him or wanted of him in your relationship?>

<No. Cause when the fire happened I was so scared I could have lost him. I thought it was stupid to break up when he could've lost his life.> Swirl shook her head realizing she hadn't been helping him by forgiving him so quickly. They both jumped the gun again and that had to stop. <Can I sort this out Maria? Will you be okay while I try and fix this?>

Maria let out a halfhearted laugh. <By all means, my dear. You’re the one in control here, remember? This is your decision, this is what you want to do. I am not going to protest what you want to do.> She pulled herself out of control, allowing Swirl to have her voice back, the green fading from her eyes. <Besides, I can rest some. I got enough energy from Ale for the day.>

"Okay Maria..." Swirl realized she spoke out loud and then rubbed the back of her head. The bowl gazed up at Ale with sad eyes and then folded her arms out of habit. "I found out from Maria that she was the one you slept with."

"... Oh."

Ale's mug started to bubble as he looked away again. He should have assumed that was what was going on. It had totally slipped his mind that might have been an issue, with everything else that had been going on.

"I... I'm sorry, I should've said somethin'," he said quietly. "I just... Guess I didn't expect 'em 'ta take over so quickly, and... I couldn't exactly say anything before."

Then, he trailed off. Here he was, just making excuses again. The same words from before continued to rattle in his head. He couldn't bear to see the disappointment in her eyes again. Rather than say anything, he sighed and sagged where he stood.

"... Sorry... Guess I'm still better at makin' messes than cleanin' em up."

"Ale you need to stop hiding things from me." Swirl finally got out what she want to say to him. "It's my fault for not making that clear when we got back together again, and I know you couldn't speak about your contract. I shouldn'tve jumped onto this without your say either. So I'm sorry for doing that to you," Swirl admitted, then she took his hand. "Maria put a good defence up for you, by the way. They didn't need to but they did. Just... we need to be more open. Now more than ever. We have both been really childish. We both get drunk and run away. We need to change."

He looked at where she held his hand in hers, then clasped it gently between his own two hands.

"Yeah, I hear ya," he said with a small smile. "No more runnin' away. I... Don't think there's anything else ya don't know. Honestly, if they find stuff I haven't said, it's prob'ly cause I got no idea I did it. Guess that's another thing I gotta work on..."

"Okay." Swirl smiled and rubbed her fingers against his hands. "How did Applin take the whole bar randomly reappearing? Or has he not seen it yet?"

"Oh, no, he's seen it," Ale said with a grimace, then rubbed his face as the ghost of the blow flashed across his memory. "Threw a mighty good punch at me, too, when he saw me there. I would'a gotten him calmed down if that demon didn't make me throw 'im to the pavement. Then Max showed up an' kinda smoothed things over, so I guess things are... better."

He finally let his hand drop, then took hold of both of hers once again.

"But... Hey, at least that means one of the things did get fixed. Cleaned up one mess right, eh? You should've seen it, Swirly, the place looked like new. Probably 'bout as good as back in my granddad's day. I really wish I could've stayed and gotten a better look at the inside, but I ah... Was too eager to check on ya when I got a bit 'a freedom."

"Well hopefully when this is all over I can go back to working. Need to bring in as much money as we can now." Swirl smiled softly, loving seeing him so excited. She rubbed his fingers with her own. "I'm sure Applin with chill out when he hears he is a uncle."

"Heh. Yeah, if he believes us," Ale said with a snicker, giving her hands a gentle squeeze. Then, he slowly calmed, finding his eyes drifting to her stomach. She could see a little of his fear flickering in his eyes, but it was quickly tempered by a childlike curiosity and affection. "Man... It's so hard 'ta imagine there's some tiny little thing growin' in there. Who woulda thought it, eh? Us? Parents? Erm... Well, eventually." This he said with a slightly more nervous laugh, looking up to Swirl's face to see her response.

"Sweetheart. It will be okay." Swirl noticed his worry in his face and kissed his cheek. "We have the biggest family and tons of friends. They will help us when we need it I'm sure. I'm just as scared to be honest."

"I wouldn't doubt it. Heck, I've got the easy part," Ale said, relaxing at her kiss. With a sigh, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "And now I've made it even harder on ya... I just want you to be ok..."

[starrysence]

silent hurting | almer

warnings; mentions of abuse & suicide

“hey, jack!” elmer calls, swinging his bag over his shoulder as he jogs up to the older newsie, who’s finishing up a conversation with racetrack. “seen al around?”

he sees jack’s smile falter after race leaves, notably at the mention of albert’s name. he quickly decides he doesn’t like expression that crosses jack’s face.

when jack speaks, he looks at elmer directly, and his voice is soft, as if he’s afraid speaking too loudly will shatter elmer. “al’s been missin’ since this mornin’. tried askin’ the other boys, but they ain’t seen ‘im around either.”

elmer feels worry begin to plague him immediately, and he finds it strange. albert was just fine yesterday, joking around and teasing the other newsies like usual…

like usual.

he has to be okay… right? the more elmer thinks about it, the more he begins to realise that whenever there’s a group of newsies telling stories about the good old days with their folks, albert stays silent. elmer knows albert was one of the handful of newsies that grew up with folks, but he never talked about them as fondly as some of the others did.

“elmer?”

jack’s voice brings elmer out of his thoughts and back into reality, and he looks up at jack with eyes that are tearier than intended. “he- he’s fine… he’s gotta be fine… he’s okay. yeah. he’s alright…”

elmer realises he’s shaking, and his voice is trembling, and that his words are starting to sound like a desperate attempt to convince himself that albert is okay… because he has to be. right?

“woah, el, calm down,” jack says slowly, placing a hand on elmer’s shoulder. this makes elmer flinch, but he relaxes into the touch.

jack speaks again, somehow in a softer tone than before. “rush hour’s over for the day, so the streets is clearin’. some o’ the guys already told me they’re goin’ to look for al, an’ if you’re worryin’ this much, you should go look for 'im also. i’m stayin’ here with crutchie 'cause his leg ain’t doin’ so well today, but if we could we’d go out an’ look for 'im, too.”

elmer sniffs and nods, and he’s thankful that jack understands his expression enough to let his hand fall from elmer’s shoulder. he gives jack a little wave before turning to leave, and beginning to look for albert.

×××

albert looks down at the bustling traffic below him. he takes note of the sunset painting the sky in pinks, yellows, reds, and several other colours as he kicks his feet back and forth over the edge of the rooftop. the traffic will probably wind down a little bit around this hour, he knows, and it’ll pick up again at some later hour during the night.

should i jump?

he winces as the thought crosses his mind, and shakes his head quickly.

i’m too scared even for that.

he’s wondering how he’s managed to spend the whole day, up here on this rooftop of some random building on the other side of manhattan. he isn’t even entirely sure why he decided to run away from the lodging house.

maybe it was all the times the boys with folks they could remember got together to share stories, all while he thought of the way his folks treated him - like absolute garbage. he was a literal mistake.

he knows he doesn’t have a right to get bitter at the others for talking about their folks so lovingly and longingly - he hasn’t told anyone about the type of parents he lived with.

this jogs up more unpleasant memories of his family. beatings; being thrown out of the house even on stormy nights because they didn’t want him around; going for days without food because “there wasn’t enough for him”; and so many other things he hates thinking about.

the more he thinks about it, the more tempting the idea of jumping off the rooftop gets, and the more he has to convince himself not to do it. but then he thinks, why am i trying so hard not to do it? there’s no point in not doing it.

and again, more unclear reasoning against taking action. why is he so damn scared of jumping? what is he holding back for? who is he holding back for?

as these thoughts swim through albert’s head, he doesn’t realise that he’s started to cry. the tears roll slowly down his cheeks, flushed from the day’s heat, and quiet sobs escape his lips, sometimes accompanied by shaky breaths.

he tries to ease his mind; tries to think of good things. good memories…

•••

elmer was lying down, his head in albert’s lap as the older newsie played with his hair using one hand, while the free arm was draped lazily over elmer’s body.

“hey, al?” elmer asked, breaking the silence. his eyes trailed up to meet albert’s.

“yeah, eli?”

elmer giggled at the nickname that only albert would call him by, and albert grinned at the younger boy’s joy.

soon elmer’s giggles died down and the look on his face was one of worry and uncertainty, causing albert’s grin to fall. “elmer…?”

elmer sighed and sat up, surprising albert by taking both his hands and holding them with a rather firm grip.

“promise me… promise me we’s always gonna be together, no matter what happens.” elmer’s voice was quiet, and he looked at albert with such tenderness that albert began to feel fragile in elmer’s touch.

albert slipped one hand out of elmer’s hold to wrap his arm around the smaller boy and pull him close in an embrace, though one hand was still held tightly in elmer’s. “'course, el. i promise.”

elmer let his head rest on albert’s chest and allowed his eyes to flutter closed. in a tired mumble, he said, “you’s my best friend, albie… i don’t ever wanna lose ya.”

albert felt a soft smile cross his face as he slipped his other hand free of elmer’s grip and began playing with the younger newsie’s hair again, this time more soothingly to help him get to sleep.

“you’s my best friend too, eli. i promise, ya ain’t ever gon’ lose me.”

those were the last words either of them remembered hearing and saying before they both drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

×××

when elmer finds albert, he grows confused as to why his friend seems to be shivering. it’s the end of a scorching hot day at the end of june, and albert is shaking like he’s sitting outside on one of those december nights where the air is so harshly cold it feels as if it’s piercing one’s skin.

“so, i finally found ya,” elmer breathes.

albert whirls around to reveal that he’s crying, and by the look of it, he’s been crying for a while. his typically warm and playful brown eyes, glossed over with tears, are wide and pained as they meet elmer’s own.

elmer’s heart drops as he locks eyes with albert, and an overwhelming sadness fills him, perhaps from the fact that he’s never seen albert like this before. this is quite a change from the playful yet sensible newsboy that he’s so used to seeing.

“s-sorry… i meant 'ta tell someone that i was headin’ off for today, but no one else was awake, and i- i didn’t feel like waitin’ or wakin’ anyone up…” albert trails off.

it seems to elmer that albert has more that he wants to say - much more - but he chokes up, and fresh tears fall down his face, leaving more stains on his cheeks.

elmer shakes himself out of his frozen state of surprise and rushes to albert’s side, sitting down next to him and wrapping him up in a hug.

“al, i was worried sick sbout ya… we all was… why the hell have you been up here all day?”

“i just… i needed to cool off, eli…”

as albert relaxes into elmer’s touch and slips his arms around the smaller boy, elmer looks up in surprise. albert hasn’t used that nickname on him in years. he stays quiet, and after a moment of silence, albert continues speaking.

“last night, the guys was talkin’ 'bout their folks again, an’ i just had 'ta sit there an’ listen…”

“i was talkin’ 'bout mine, too, al…” elmer says, starting to feel guilty. he lets it show, evidently, because albert looks down at him and quickly speaks up again.

“no need 'ta feel bad, el. i ain’t mad. jus’ really thought a lot about all the things they’d said…” a dry chuckle escapes his lips. “wish i’d been able 'ta say things like those 'bout my folks, too.”

“albert, what…?” elmer trails off, not exactly sure how to end the question.

albert shrugs, although thinking of the truth he’s about to tell elmer still hurts him more than he could ever describe, even so many years.

“it’s just… my folks hurt me, el.” suddenly his voice is quiet, quivering. “they treated me real bad and hit me a lot. they yelled at me 'til they didn’t feel like yellin’ no more and sometimes they just got so sick of havin’ me around that they threw me out the damn house for the whole night.” and suddenly, more tears are falling. “they was always remindin’ me that i wasn’t s'posed to be born… that i’m nothin’ but a mistake…” his body seems to decide that that’s enough confessions for now, because his voice gets caught in a sob and he continues crying, burying his face in elmer’s hair.

elmer’s grip on albert tightens, and tears threaten to fall from his own eyes. “al, i’m so sorry… i’m so, so sorry…”

“it’s so pathetic, right?” another dry chuckle, cracked this time from the crying. “it’s been so long, an’ they’re gone now, and i should just be over it. but i’m not. it still hurts, eli. it hurts so bad… and i hate it so much, an’ it’s so hard to talk about. you an’ race are the only ones who know… an’ jack, too.”

“do not try to put the blame on yourself for this, albert.” elmer’s voice breaks. “it ain’t your fault, not one bit of it is your fault. you’s one o’ the best people i ever known and i’m so happy that you’re in my life. i’m so happy i get 'ta call ya my- my best friend.”

but i want more than that…

elmer dismisses the thought from his head as he holds the older boy in his arms, who is now crying so much he’s trembling.

“the worst- the worst part of it,” albert sobs, “is that they’s put it straight into my brain that i ain’t worth shit, and it’s stuck with me all these years. god, i’m so damn pathetic… i ain’t ever gonna make no one happy and nobody loves me, 'c-cause how can they? i’m such- i’m such a-”

“please, stop,” elmer whispers, just loud enough for albert to hear. so he listens to elmer, and he falls quiet, although his crying never ceases. “ya have no idea how much it’s hurtin’ me 'ta know that this is how ya think of yourself.”

“i’m s-sorry… i can’t help it,” albert replies quietly.

“you’s so much more than what your folks’ve made ya feel like,” elmer murmurs into his ear. “there’re so many people who love ya, al, an’ ya don’t even know it.”

he feels his best friend’s grip tighten around him, and he gasps softly at the new feeling of tears soaking into his clothing as albert buries his head in elmer’s shoulder. elmer rubs circles on his back without another word, and the actively setting sun casts a soft, multicolored glow over the two of them.

soon elmer is looking up at the moon, the gentle, white light rivaling that of the sun’s earlier. albert is silent now, though he isn’t asleep. elmer can tell because there are quiet, even breaths rather than the notably loud snores his friend emits when he sleeps. elmer chuckles at the thought, and it catches albert’s attention, for the taller boy lifts his head in curiosity at the sudden sound.

“what'cha laughin’ at?” albert mumbles, evidently tired gaze boring into elmer’s. elmer smiles and shakes his head.

“nothin’,” he responds dismissively. “just thinkin’.”

“about?”

“you!” elmer blurts. his face heats up immediately afterwards, and he scrambles away from albert to bury it in his hands. “that- that ain’t wh-what i meant,” he stammers.

for the first time all day - maybe even in days - elmer watches albert’s lips curl into a small smile.

“what’d ya mean, then?” albert laughs slightly. elmer still hears a bit of force and pain in that laugh, and he shifts back towards albert to take his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“this time it was only about how hilarious it is when ya snore in your sleep,” elmer snorts. albert groans and rolls his eyes.

“i already get enough shit for that from ra- wait.”

elmer watches his friend’s cheeks turn a rosy pink, and he decides it’s officially the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

“what did ya mean by 'this time?’” albert manages through his flustered state.

now it’s elmer’s turn to blush, although it just adds more colour to his already red cheeks.

“how often do ya think about me, elmer?” albert asks more steadily. this time his voice bears a lighthearted tone, and he even has the confidence to wink at elmer, sending the younger newsie into a blushing mess.

“i-i… uh…” that’s about all elmer can manage before a small squeak escapes his lips as he stares up at albert, unable to tear his eyes away from those warm, chocolate brown ones.

albert leans towards elmer until their faces are barely an inch apart, and he has a teasing smile on his face now. “well?”

elmer’s heart seems to decide it’s now or never, and all in the blink of an eye he grabs albert’s face and closes the small gap between them with a passionate kiss, pouring months and months of want into it. albert lets out a muffled noise of surprise, and for a moment, he sits still. unbeknownst to a now panicking elmer, it’s out of shock. the boy he’s loved for however long now - he can’t think about that; that same boy’s fucking kissing him right now - feels the same way.

albert regains his bearings and kisses elmer back right as elmer is about to pull away, stopping the smaller boy from doing so. his return of the gesture is full of the same passion; the same want; the same love, built up from months of silence and fear of saying anything.

his arms wrap around elmer’s waist and elmer’s fall around his neck, one hand running through his red hair and earning a soft sigh from him that gets lost in their kiss.

it seems to end sooner than they both like, but they’re both gasping for air, so they figure it must’ve gone on a pretty long time.

elmer is the first to speak.

“ya asked me how often i think of ya, right? well, what if i told ya you’re practically all i think about?” it’s his chance to wink, so he does, and god, does it make albert’s heart melt. it also makes albert’s face heat up, which he finds pretty embarrassing, but he doesn’t care in the moment. all he cares about is that he has elmer, and he knows that he’s always going to.

“that’d make me feel like the luckiest newsie alive,” albert responds, wrapping his arms around elmer and pulling him close for another embrace.

elmer smiles and rests his head on albert’s chest, giggling softly as he feels albert press a kiss to the top of his head. it isn’t long before he’s drifting off, deciding that he’ll just have to do some explaining when he goes back to the lodging house with albert tomorrow.

this is so long im so sorry bJDHFHS

i hope u liked it tho!! 💕💕 im always up for requests my doods

-sanj 💜

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