#minamoto no yoshinaka

[kchasm]

Ryu Number: Pope Leo I, Pope Honorius II, and Pope Martin V

i've been busy uuhhhhhh have some popes (roman catholic)

Pope Leo I is the only pope to actually appear on-map in the game (as far as I remember), as well as the only pope to be explicitly identified. He appears at the end of Attila's campaign, where he meets with Attila and then Attila mysteriously decides to stop wrecking Italy. In real life, nobody actually really knows what the bunch sent by Roman Emperor Valentinian III (of which Leo I was a member) actually got across to Attila to get him to put his thing on pause, but a lot of stories like to credit the whole thing to Leo I 'cause post hoc ergo propter hoc, I guess.

Pope Honorius II is the pope in the The Hautevilles campaign that calls a crusade against Roger II of Sicily after the latter took over his dead first cousin once removed's stuff in Italy after said first cousin once removed died. The game makes it seem like Honorius II disliked it because Roger II had a policy of relative religious coexistence, but it was probably more political than that. Honorius II said that Mr. Cousin had left the lands to the Holy See and not to Rog, for one. Honorius II eventually recognized Roger II's claim in exchange for some concessions which Roger II more or less instantly ignored.

Finally, Pope Martin V is the pope in the The Grand Dukes of the West campaign who rules that Jacqueline, Countess of Hainaut never actually got divorced from John IV, Duke of Brabant, even if her divorce had been locally recognized and also she'd gotten married to Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester (brother of King Henry V of England) after. For Various Reasons, this put a crimp in Jackie's political career.

[cestacruz]

GENJI CLAN some of them anyway (some designs except canon ones) might change with time (or when fgo releases them........... hurry it up nasu....)

For clarifications:

Tokiwa Gozen - ONLY Yoshitsune's mother (some sources indicate her dying at 42 and some mention her living at least until 48 years and no confirmed year of death), Yoshitomo's favorite concubine, mother of Yoshitomo's last 3 children

Yoshitomo - Yoshitsune, Yoritomo and Noriyori's father

The design choice for making Tokiwa look so much like Yoshitsune is based on the fact that in Heian-Kyo it was established that Yoshitsune looks exactly like Tokiwa via Yoshitsune's memory of words Taira no Kiyomori said to her as a child

Yoritomo - Yoshitomo's third son and Yoshitsune' and Noriyori's older half-brother

Noriyori - Yoshitomo's sixth son, Yoritomo's younger half-brother and Yoshitsune's older half-brother

Yoshinaka - Yoshitsune, Yoritomo and Noriyori's cousin

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Renmant Spoilers

With her husband now in Chaldea, Tomoe decides to show him her new hobby of video games. But, while she gets into explaining and playing it, Yoshinaka decides to take up his favorite hobby and makes sweet sweet love. Bonus if Tomoe doesn't stop infodumping during it

Good for them

[hakonohanayome]

Heike Monogatari episode 8

[demonslayedher]

Wind down doodles while I am loopy on antibiotics, here's more Obatsune and Benmitsu

[reignsan]

I completely and fully believe that this new Saber is Minamoto-no-Yoshinaka, Tomoe's husband.

-The color scheme

-The game's artist also drew the manga where Yoshinaka first appeared

[glitchkilldelphinixdj]

Genpei Toumaden Most Likely To... Part 1

Most likely to draw and/or write dumb shit in public bathroom walls: Yoshitsune, he would literally make random messages and stuff.

Most likely to appear late at things: Yoshinaka (He's slow to wake up)

Most likely to accidentally break something: Kagekiyo (if he gets scared, shocked, or suprised as a distraction into breaking something) or Yoshinaka (mostly in rage or high tension on an object from grabbing it), they have competition, lol.

Most likely to start a fight: Yoritomo, obviously, once he sees Kagekiyo, LOCKED ON TARGET.

Most likely to get arrested: Yoshitsune, despite being small and quick, lil man-bro can't hide too well from all the cackling he does.

Most likely to get married: Kagekiyo, literally a total sucker for chicks.

Most likely to have memorabilia of his or her crush, even through the crush doesn't love him or her: Yoshinaka, to literally my S/I OC, Niko.

Most likely to make sweets for another to enjoy: Andabaa (She gives Kagekiyo a bit of grandparent love to him.)

Most likely to whack a roach with a musical instrument: Benkei, due to his strength, but usually with a guitar or an electrical keyboard.

Most likely to lose his or her temper quickly: I'm between Yoritomo and Kagekiyo, depends on who loses it first.

Most likely to bump into things: Yoshinaka or Benkei

Most likely to get stuck in things: Literally Yoshinaka, takes some time to get through certain areas.

Most likely to fall off a mechanical bull first: Yoshitsune, due to his small stature.

Most likely to marry his or her bed: Yoshinaka mostly, aka the snooziest man-bitch of the planet.

Most likely to whack somebody or something for the hell of it: Benkei, occasionally to let off steam.

Most likely to have a bro-like relationship: Yoshitsune with Benkei.

Most likely to do dumb stuff on monkey bars: Kagekiyo, generally.

[cestacruz]

Sweet jesus this is absolutely gorgeous

I am . Dying. This is so good..!

Thank you so much for this, this was everything and more than i hoped for

Everyone please read this gorgeous piece or i Will show up. Eventually.

And thank you So Much again! I am incredibly grateful😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Falls to my knees , hiii so like... the requests.... would you be so kind as to consider Ushiwakamaru|Yoshitsune (and her wife Shizuka Gozen....) (she gets 1 dialogue in Heian-Kyo (Incredibly romantic line about wishing to follow Yoshitsune until the very end) and mentioned in Little Big Tengu)

Scenario... Ushi getting reminded of Shizuka and realizing how much she misses her...im basic i am starved

The idea of Ushi joining the "i miss my spouse" club and Tomoe being there is hilarious honestly. I am rambling

I am very sorry if this ask was too late </3

The monkey's paw curls.

Sure i can write that for you!

/\/\/\/\/\/\

It’s a quiet, clear night, the full moon shining brightly down on the trees, the courtyard, the roof of the mountaintop compound.

Sitting on that rooftop, one knee tucked up and the other dangling casually from the edge, foot swaying back and forth, a figure clad in a Japanese armor sits alone, drinking and looking out at the light of the city far below, long unbound hair fluttering slightly in a gentle breeze.

Behind them, a scattering of gold motes of light blows into shape and coalesce, as a woman dressed in similar armor stands behind them, posture straight and proper, sharing the same view.

“Ah, Lady Archer.” Her voice, normally energetic or cheerful, is subdued yet friendly. She turns, casual and unmannered, to smile thinly through the weight of emotion at her guest. “Please, come,” she says, offering the bottle and a small cup to her visitor. “Share a drink with me, and some familiar company in this foreign land.”

Archer ignores her offer, continuing to stare out into the city.

“…Lord Saber. I would kill you here, now, if our Masters were not allied.”

“Mm.” She nods, acknowledging the statement as true, if not important. “Such is the nature of the war we fight.”

Archer’s eyes narrow.

“…I will state the truth plainly, then. I would kill you if there were no war. Knowing you live, I would seek your death. Only duty now stays me from seeking vengeance for my Lord.”

Saber takes in a deep breath and lets it out in a sigh, staring out over the city.

“…Fair enough. I can’t apologize for anything I’ve done to serve my own Lord. But, if my Master permits, once our alliance is over, I will give you a proper fight to the death.”

The wind blows through the trees, rushing, cool. The tips of Saber’s hair blow in the breeze. She takes a sip, and studies the bottle of alcohol with casual interest.

Archer’s fists clench, the sound of friction audible like a creak of leather, before she lets her fair, callused hands relax.

“I am surprised to hear you’d take consideration for anyone other than the master you serve.”

Saber’s head bobs in positive appraisal. She continues to stare out into the night.

“My Master told me to convey to yours that he is to meet her in the shed tomorrow in the morning to discuss plans regarding Caster and Rider.”

Saber nods again. She stares into space for a moment, as she convey the message through the link.

Then, she takes another sip of alcohol, looking up at the moon.

Archer waits a few minutes longer.

Her eye twitches.

Just as she prepares to leave, Saber speaks again.

“It was a night like this, when I last saw my love.”

Archer regards her carefully.

Saber smiles, wistful, fond. “She liked to go for walks at night, and I would go with her, and stand close to keep her warm. Even on hot summer nights.”

For a moment longer, she looks out over the edge, features softened into a sad smile.

Then her face falls.

“But the last night I saw her… we didn’t have time for such happiness, such peace.”

She looks down, now, into the courtyard, at the earth.

“My retainers managed to convince me to run, when my brother decided to put me down. I gave it my best, really. But I knew he would catch up to me. And… I think she knew, as well.”

Archer stares at her, uncompromisingly.

“She wanted to stay with me, even so. I never… really understood people, or love. I don’t know what I did to deserve such loyalty. Or maybe that’s just how she was. But I appreciated it. I needed it. To know there was someone with me who would never move, never leave, even as I am… how I am. Who really cared.”

“If you really appreciated it,” Archer says, voice heavy, tinged with venom, “then why. Why did you send her away, before the end?”

Saber turns and looks at her. She smiles, faintly.

“Because I wanted her to live.”

Archer snaps.

“Selfish! You say you appreciated her loyalty, yet you would trample it for your own selfishness!”

“…Mm. It was selfish.”

Archer stalks toward Saber, where she sits balanced at the edge of the roof, “If her love, her loyalty truly meant so much to you, then why deny her the chance die alongside her Lord!” she demands, breathing hard, long-restrained anguish bleeding through into her fury.

Saber makes no move to respond, to back away or take a defensible position. She curls, hugging the knee tucked up against her chest, eyes cast down.

“Because… I always knew she would die for me, but I… I would always serve my liege, first. In the end, though, when my brother decided I should die… I thought, for once, I would like to return that devotion. To thank her, for always… for always supporting me. If I was to die… then I could still give her a life, to live on. I could do that for her, at the end.”

“I was never good at expressing my feelings. I knew enough, to know it would hurt her. But still… I wanted to do that for her.”

She takes a sip of alcohol, and smiles ruefully.

“I failed in the end, though. My brother captured her anyway. I was dead, by the time it happened, but…”

Archer stares at her, still breathing hard, glaring, body tense. But the earlier fire is gone from her eyes, and they instead search through old emotions.

“… We do not decide how fate will turn. It is the choices we make that speak for us.”

A moment later, she turns away.

She pauses.

“…Saber. The Master you serve…”

“Hmm?” Her face brightens visibly.

“…” Archer looks up, over the compound, fists balled at her sides. “…That person is not worthy of your devotion.”

She dissolves again into swirling gold motes of light, and they blow away in the gentle night breeze.

“… I wouldn’t know,” Saber says, to the empty rooftop. “I'm not the best judge of people. All I want… is the chance to faithfully serve, until the end.”

—

Cautiously, Tomoe Gozen enters the ruined compound, the remaining fires burning low. The building where she spoke with Saber on that night in the first days of the War is rubble, pulverized by the shock of Rider’s Noble Phantasm, and then cleaved in half.

Master— she begins, reporting out of habit.

Foolishness. Her gentle, composed Master is gone. She feels the loop of prayer beads at her side where they hang under her robes.

Rest easy. For my Master’s sake… I will see your wish granted. I will save them.

She is cursed, cursed to always be the survivor.

She’s too late to witness the conflict, but the state of the war has shifted dramatically. She picks her way through the buildings to see what she can still learn.

The night is darker, now, the moon waning. The courtyard is in ruins, stones broken and split, the lonely pear tree torn up from its roots. Great slashes are carved into the walls of the sturdy storage building that makes up its other side, and the wall has fallen over.

As she proceeds toward the center of the compound, she finds the headless body of Rider’s Master, lying flat on its back.

One of Caster’s siege defense machines has fallen from the rooftops, burnt almost completely, its bolt still loaded lying on the floor.

She tightens her grip on her self control as her oni blood flares, threatening to overtake her reason. She looks up to survey the surroundings

The other giant crossbows that line the remaining buildings are mostly intact. The one farthest back is split in half, jagged wooden remains stained by a heavy spray of blood.

But they are pointed into the heart of the compound, not at its surroundings.

A trail of blood leads her way deeper into the compound

A pit of dread fills her stomach. She worries at the prayer beads that keep her temporarily sustained with mana, her Master’s parting gift to her.

She materializes her sword with a lick of flames, and raises it in preparation before turning the highly defensible corner.

She finds the remains of the body Assassin was puppeting, leaking black ichor.

A few paces away, one of the giant crossbow bolts has buried itself into the earth. It’s stained red with blood.

The trail of blood thickens beyond it. There are bloody handprints, smears against the walls.

Tomoe Gozen narrows her eyes, and steels herself, and proceeds through the bounded field into the heart of the compound.

It’s burning. Ichor and bloodstains everywhere.

At the far side of the space, the largest crossbow is spattered with blood. Beneath it, the severed sleeve of Caster’s robe lies trampled on the ground. And beside that, a mangled figure.

Maintaining her alert, she makes her way quickly across the space.

Saber—Yoshitsune lies slumped against the building’s wall, still clutching her sword in her hands. Her skin is blistered, her long hair burnt away. Cuts and pierces litter her ruined armor. And a crossbow bolt the size of a wooden beam pins her against the building behind her.

So it’s true. Saber’s Master has taken Rider as his Servant.

The loyal general Minamoto no Yoshitsune has once again been betrayed and cut down by the lord she serves.

Tomoe Gozen feels no joy at the sight of her husband’s killer.

The lively, energetic Saber is almost inert, staring blankly up at the sky with dulled eyes. But as she approaches, she looks up at her in awe. Her sword falls from her fingers. Her bare, dry voice whispers.

“…Shizuka?” Tomoe’s heart drops.

She kneels by her foe, and takes her remaining hand in her own. Sightless, dull eyes cast toward her, feebly.

“… ah. My Shizuka. You’re safe. I’m glad… I’m glad.” She sighs, shuddering. “If you live… then all was not lost. I—“ she heaves a breath, and smiles. “can meet my death, without regret.”

Tomoe takes a ragged breath. Suddenly, her vision is full of tears.

—

“Lord Yoshinaka, I beg of you—“

“I have given you my command!” Her husband shouts, voice trembling with fervor. “Leave this battlefield! I will meet my death with Kanehira at my side!”

He looks at her, then, and feeling flashes over his face. Love. Sorrow. Pain. “I will not—“ his voice chokes, rough, raw. “—be shamed by dying together with a woman.”

She takes in a deep breath, trembling, spine straight, mastering her feelings. Then she bows stiffly.

“—As my Lord orders it.”

Before she turns away for the last time, filled to overflowing with mastered emotion, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes—

She sees something like peace come over her husband’s face.

—

She trembles, kneeling before Saber.

Her mortal foe takes in a slow, desperate breath.

“Ah, but Shizuka. Your Ushiwaka… has so rarely received an injury. It really… hurts, after all.” she laughs weakly, and then coughs, and trails off.

Tomoe draws in a deep breath, steadying herself.

“Lord Yoshitsune,” she says. “Allow me to ease your pain.”

“…thank you,” that haggard voice says, relieved. “Thank you.”

Saber slumps forward, presenting her bare neck.

Tomoe stands, and draws her sword.

“…forgive me!”

With one swing, she separates Yoshitsune’s head cleanly from her shoulders.

A moment later, in a shower of gold mana, the body of her great enemy, of her husband’s killer, dissolves and fades away into the smoke-filled night air.

Tomoe stands alone. She cleans, and sheathes her sword.

“Lord Yoshinaka,” she whispers. “Your wife has avenged you. And if it gave you peace, then I will proudly carry forever the shame and sorrow of surviving you.”

With one final lingering glance at the place where a crossbow bolt lies embedded in the wall, she leaves the place of death behind.

Her Master, still, remains to be avenged.

There are yet more ghosts for Tomoe Gozen to carry.

[kchasm]

Ryu Number Chart Update: Age of Empires II: Definitive Edition

Age of Empires II is the second installment in the Age of Empires series, a line of real-time-strategy games putting the player in control of various historical civilizations during various historical scenarios that play out portraying various historical events that occurred historically. Almost historically, anyway—real life doesn't care much for narrative arcs, so there's some conflation and approximation and whatnot for ludicity's sake. Imagine a movie adaption of some famous historical event—Age of Empires II: Definitive Edition is usually at least that historically accurate.

The game abounds with a historical figures you can command around a map, but that's really just the tip of the enchilada. Occasionally, other historical figures who don't actually have a presence on a given historical map poke their heads out to toss dialogue your way—which also counts as appearances. Then there are the interstitial bits that provide context for the playable scenarios, and include illustrations of even more historical characters that don't otherwise appear in levels at all. That counts, too.

Admittedly, the appearances aren't always so straightforward. Take the following screenshot, for example. (You might have to click to zoom in on it. Sorry.)

(Credit: blasteg)

At first glance, it's some questionable meat—sure, it says "Byzantine Emperor," but which Byzantine Emperor? There were a lot of them!

Do a little look-into-ing, though, and it turns out there weren't that many Byzantine Emperors who were personally irked by Freddie "Barrel Boy" Barbarossa's local stopover—just the one, mostly. That almost definitely counts! Though, if you disagree...

Well, actually, it's totally fair if you disagree. Ryu Numbers can get a lot more arbitrary than you'd expect. I'm not changing my chart, though.

I'll be real: I went through approximately two hundred playthrough videos, so it really wouldn't surprise me to hear I've missed a uniquely-named unit or two (or three, or a handful, or a league). If you see anything I'm missing, please hoot and also holler.

(It doesn't help that various updates of the game have mixed things up—for example, a Soomra unit you had to kill in Prithviraj's campaign was at one point named "Dodo Soomro"—a real dude who ruled from about 1181 to 1195—but has since been retconned in subsequent updates to the generic "Raja." Do I count him? I guess not.)

(And of course there's the regular complications, like the research I have to do whenever a name appears to make sure they're a historical figure and not not a historical figure. An example of the latter is Togortac, who appears a few times in Kotyan Khan's campaign. There was a real Cuman figure of historical note named Togortac...)

(Komnene, A. (2009). The Alexiad (E. R. A. Sewter & P. Frankopan, Trans.). Penguin Group. (Original work published ca. 1143-1153 CE))

(... but he was active around a hundred years before when the setting of this campaign takes place, which suggests to me that the game character isn't supposed to be the Togortac and is more likely an original character created for the game that the writers named after the historical Togortac because coming up with non-anachronistic names for historical figures is really friggin' hard.)

As for Ryu Numbering yourself through that topologist's nightmare, though, it's not nearly as complicated:

What's a Teppen? Teppen (stylized "TEPPƎN" because somebody in Nigeria is shouting at you I guess*), is a mobile card game, except instead of numbers, the cards have Capcom characters. And also numbers.

This creates something of a quandary. Do you count (and I'm pickin' a random character here; don't at me) Zangief as appearing in Teppen if it's allowable (even strategically advantageous even) to have a hand stuffed with hella Zangiefy (He's Russian, so I think that's the pluralization)? Sure, he's in the game, moving about within the borders for his card, even... but he's no longer unique. In fact, you could argue that he's on the same level as a generic recurring video game enemy.

Teppen clarifies and complicates the issue by classifying certain cards as "Heroes," which means that you're only allowed one in your deck. These are easier to swallow as unique, Ryu-Numberable characters. Ryu is one Hero (natch), but Oda Nobunaga... isn't.

(Side note: Yeah, Oda Nobunaga—the Japanese dude frequently credited with revving up the unification of Japan after its collapse into a bunch of warring clans—counts as a Capcom character, owing to Capcom's Sengoku Basara video game series. If you've never heard of Sengoku Basara before... well, I can't help you, actually, because neither had I. Judging from a random minute of game footage I hauled up from YouTube, though, it looks a lot like something in the same ilk as Samurai Warriors.)

(... And suddenly, I strongly suspect I've pissed someone off.)

Anyway, the whole point is moot, actually (American definition), because for most of the Heroes, Teppen also has "Hero Stories," wherein the characters are characters, and not cards at all, and Oda makes a cameo in Amaterasu's story leading a demon army alongside Nōhime and Mori Ranmaru.

I have wasted your time.

*The Venn diagram of "People Reading This Post" and "People Who Understand This Joke" has an intersection that is at most the size of an atom, within which is fully contained a third circle titled "People Reading This Post Who Understand This Joke and Additionally Find This Joke Humorous." The population of this third circle is 1.

The Genpei War* was a late 12th-century civil war between the Taira and Minamoto clans over which one of them would be the power behind the Emperor of Japan. There was a lot of drama involved, but the end result was that the Taira lost, the Minamoto won, and the Japanese Emperor effectively became a figurehead with the shogun—Minamoto no Yoritomo, at this point—being the actual dude wearing the boss shoes (which is what you call a "shogunate").

Unfortunately, according to the Namco game Genpei Tōma Den, Yoritomo's tyrannical rule resulted in Japan becoming overridden with demons, and ultimately required the resurrection of previously deceased Taira samurai Taira no Kagekiyo in order to put the land (violently) to rights.

... Maybe forget that last paragraph before you take your history quiz or your teacher will be very annoyed at you.

But anyway that's why Minamoto no Yoshinaka/Kiso Yoshinaka appears in Namco × Capcom.

*Who was Genpei? Nobody was Genpei. If you take "Minamoto," i.e. "源," and "Taira," i.e. "平," and mash 'em together, you get "源平," which is pronounced... "Genpei." This is because kanji often have multiple pronunciations, including what's descended from the native Japanese pronunciation(s) they used and assigned that character to, and what's descended from the Chinese pronunciation(s) of that character.

Oh and Rollo was a Viking who did attacks on France. Then Charles the Simple (i.e. Charles the Straightforward, from the misleading Latin "simplex") of West Francia (sort of the precursor to France) was all, "Look, if I let you have Rouen (and you swear allegiance to me) will you quit it with the ruckus?" and Rollo was all, "'Kay," and that's how the Duchy of Normandy became a thing. He's also known as "Hrólf the Walker" (or "Hrólf the Ganger," which means "Hrólf the Walker"), and he's a skin in the Norse Mythology Mash-Up Minecraft DLC.

Look, sometimes it's not complicated.

There are a few points of curiosity attached to this game and the historical population within, that deserve attention, though. For example, there's the oddly overachieving Mr. Motamid of the Moors.

If you play through the El Cid campaign, the relevant bits go something like this:

King Alfonso takes advantage of the instability caused by a political assassination in Toledo, sending in his army—headed by El Cid—to fold the locale into his empire. While on the scene, El Cid meets Motamid of the Moors, who can only react with gratitude when he hears that the Emperor of Spain has come to restore order to the land.

On a side note, the primary function of the superior rectus muscles is to effect elevation of the eyeballs.

It turns out that Motamid is actually the lord of Zaragoza, which means that El Cid has somewhere to serve when he's exiled by King Alfonso. El Cid, ever-loyal to King Alfonso, eventually convinces Motamid to ratify a treaty that makes Zaragoza part of King Alfonso's empire as well, since, uh… well, the story doesn't actually give a reason for Motamid to have done that, but rest assured that it was a Good Thing That Happened!

Keep working those superior rectus muscles!

King Alfonso is still pretty leery about Motamid and El Cid being the cool kids in Spain, though, so he ends up sending an army down to Zarazoga anyway. El Cid, still loyal to King Alfonso for some reason, cannot fight against his lord/former lord/it's complicated, and so avaunts, forcing Motamid to seek help from the Almoravid Dynasty just past Gibraltar instead.

El Cid comes to King Alfonso's aid, driving back the Almoravid forces, and Alfonso recognizes El Cid's loyalty by, uh, exiling him again. El Cid, once more needing somewhere to hang out, ends up conquering Valencia for himself—Motamid's no longer in the picture, unfortunately, as when the Almoravid folks moved in, they sent Motamid on his own bout of exile into the desert.

When a piece of media gets adapted, it's not uncommon for characters to be simplified for the sake of narrative ease, but it feels a little hinkier when it's real history it's happening to. In this case, Motamid is an amalgamation of at least a coupla different folks:

Yusuf al-Mu'taman ibn Hud, the actual ruler of Zaragoza who was served by the mercenary troops of El Cid, and

Al-Mu'tamid ibn Abbad (note the name), the ruler of Seville and vassal to King Alfonso until the taxation got onerous, at which point he stopped paying and also asked the Almoravid folks for help to keep not paying. This ended up being a Very Bad Decision, as the Almoravid folks decided that the best way to help was by making Al-Mu'tamid ibn Abbad not the ruler of Seville anymore and exiling him to Morocco.

That said, the in-game character is at least named "Motamid," which I've ultimately arbitrarily decided means he's a vagarious portrayal of Al-Mu'tamid ibn Abbad rather than being a fictional character created by the writers to serve the function of multiple non-fictional characters. Don't at me.

Ludovico Trevisan and Pietro Giampaolo Orsini appear in Francesco Sforza's campaign, except for the fact that they don't appear in Sforza's campaign at all. What an apparently self-contradictory statement! Don't you feel the piquing of your interest?

If you've never heard either of these names before—which, fair—suffice to say they were a coupla folks around during the time when the Italian Peninsula was a buncha states jockeying amongst each other for power. Trevisan was a Catholic bishop, serving the Papal States—the Pope was basically another king, back then, with his own kingdom and whatnot—while Orsini was a condottiero, which is Italian for "worked for whoever paid him." Both men participated in the Battle of Anghiari in 1440, a battle immortalized by Leonardo da Vinci...

Or at least it woulda been. Unfortunately, da Vinci's The Battle of Anghiari was infamously unfinished and also infamously lost. The most notable remainder we have of the work is actually a drawing by Peter Paul Rubens (who, you might have noticed, is a totally different person)—a copy of a copy of the central portion, which would have featured, among other elements, a bunch of horses having a very bad time.

Now, I'm really not that learned in Italian history, or Italian art (or non-Italian of either of those, for that matter), but I've been informed by The Art Books that those two folks in the upper right hand portion of the sketch are, in fact, Trevisan and Orsini.

(Metropolitan Museum of Art. (2003). Leonardo da Vinci: Master draftsman (C. C. Bambach, editor). Metropolitan Museum of Art. Zöllner, F. (2000). Leonardo da Vinci: 1452–1519 (F. Elliott, trans.). Benedikt Taschen.)

Names are different, but those are the same guys. I'm pretty sure.

(Also, before anyone chimes in, I'm aware Wikipedia says the rightmost guy is Giovanni Antonio Orsini del Balzo instead, but the Wikipedia pages have no sources for that. If I'm gonna be wrong, I'm gonna be wrong post-doing-the-research, dammit.)

So why is this relevant at all to Ryu Numbers, considering that neither of these folks appear in Age of Empires II: Definitive Edition at all, even plotwise? It's relevant because of the dude just to the left of those two, who, if you've read those little snippets rather than just taking my word for it, you already know is Niccolò Piccinino, who does appear in the campaign and the plot of the campaign. And when it came time to illustrate Piccinino...

(Credit: ClearSights)

(You could argue the faces look different enough to throw identification into doubt past the margin of error, and you know what? That's fair. I wanna give you the option, at least.)

Yes, Joan of Arc is in Warriors Orochi 4 Ultimate.

(Credit: Xaldin)

That might seem weird, but it's already a game about significant historical and pseudohistorical figures from Japan's Sengoku period and China's Three Kingdoms Period getting isekaied into a temporary crossover thanks to the shenanigans of Greek deities et al., so sure, why not? She's actually in from a previous Koei game, Bladestorm: The Hundred Years' War, which I'm given to understand is a Hundred Years' War musou and which I really have to watch at some point. It's on my List. I'll get to it. Eventually. Probably.

Point is:

Something something but it's weird that it happened thrice, right?

Wait, isn't Robin Hood in Fate/Grand Order?

No, he's not.

Yes, I know it says his name is—

Okay, listen. I know what it looks like, but this isn't Robin Hood. This is a totally unrelated guy who lived in a forest, dressed in green, used a yew bow, and fought against the local feudal lord.

If you're thinking that that sounds pretty Robin-Hood-like, you're not the only one who noticed. He ended up being another guy to bear that name, and was eventually betrayed (Robin-Hood-like) and shot one final arrow to mark his burial preferences (Robin-Hood-like!) before dying. All this Robin-Hoodedness was apparently enough such that when the Character Gacha Device went rummaging for any Robin Hoods it had in stock this guy met all the qualifications and got the moniker all slapped up on into him once more.

Look, I don't make this stuff up.

Speaking of Fate/Grand Order lore, Attila the Hun is—okay, actually, this is gonna need another tangent. Like, more than that Robin Hood stuff did. You know that part in Captain Underpants where the narrator's all, "But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story"? Steel yourself.

In Fate/Grand Order lore, the "Velber" is an observational device created by an ancient alien race. It works on a set orbit, passing through the Milky War Galaxy once every fourteen thousand years, selectively targeting and destroying all intelligent life in its path. Why? lol aunno.

Inside the Velber are "Anti-Cells," organic life forms developed from the data of destroyed civilizations, which are specifically designed to be deployed and actually do the intelligent-life-destroying until there isn't any intelligent life left to destroy, at which point the Anti-Cell effectively starves to death.

One such Anti-Cell was deployed to Earth in 12,000 BC, where it proceeded to destroy much of Earth's earlier civilizations, including Atlantis. Fortunately for us (but unfortunately for you, since you have to read this explanation), the Anti-Cell was killed by a human wielding of Excalibur—yes, that Excalibur, the one King Arthur would end up lugging about later. It was made by fairies, but that's not important right now. Don't worry about it.

Bits and bobs of the Anti-Cell remained on Earth, giving rise to a number of mythological characters and mechanisms. One particular piece of the Anti-Cell was discovered by the descendants of the Xiongnu people, woken, and—yeah, you see where this is going by now—dubbed "Attila." Attila, acting on instinct beyond understanding, went on to destroy civilizations until expiration.

Also she was a girl, because Type-Moon keeps doing that. We probably can't stop them anymore.

Oda Nobunaga was a girl, too. That's right, scroll up. Bet you thought that was just a bishounen aesthetic, right?

Anyway, the only problem with counting Fate/Grand Order's Attila as Attila—okay, the only relevant problem—is: Does this count as "Attila," or does this count as "the Anti-Cell that already had a distinct identity, but was referred to as 'Attila' by the Huns"? (That is a difference, as far as The Chart is concerned.) Is this still the Anti-Cell? Would this be more like a piece of the Anti-Cell given its own ego? Does that make her a different character than the original Anti-Cell?

lol aunno.

But of course, you can neatly sidestep that entire issue by just going through Age of Empires instead.

I have wasted your time again!

Here's a question: Can we use Tamerlane to get to Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem?

Context: Roberto Bianchi's level in Eternal Darkness starts off with him captured by a warlord and to ordered to apply his architectural knowledge to a monument the guy is having constructed. Spoilers: Things get worse for Bob.

The armor the warlord and his folks are sporting have a real Timurid inspiration about them, but the most Tamerlaney resemblance comes at the scenario's ending cutscene:

(Credit: NineWheels)

This admittedly awesome quote didn't come from anyone at Silicon Knights—it's a thing the real-life Tamerlane/Timur/whatever he wants to be called said himself, according to Bertrando de Mignanelli (and the guy who translated him in 1956):

(Fischel, W. J. (1956). A New Latin Source on Tamerlane's conquest of Damascus (1400/1401): (B. de Mignanelli's "Vita Tamerlani" 1416). Oriens, 9(2), 201-232. https://doi.org/10.2307/1579274)

Also an issue of Nintendo Power straight up says he's Tamerlane, so.

(Nintendo of America Inc. (2003, January). Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem. Nintendo Power (164), 134-137)

There's kind of a serious issue here, though, which is that Timur died in 1405 (at nearly 70 years old), and Bianchi's level takes place in 1460. A couple of years off is one thing to overlook, but fifty plus is more than a little difficult.

"But you know, K.C.," I hear the version of you I made up entirely within my own imagination say and also it is past midnight so I am not feeling very gracious toward the construction of imaginary-you right now, "Eternal Darkness is a game where reality Gets A Little Wonky, including potentially time. Is there a possibility you can count this as Tamerlane nevertheless?"

And the answer remains a definite no for the most important reason of all: Whether this warlord is supposed to be Timur or not, it doesn't change the fact that—and spoilers, here—he doesn't exist. The dramatic irony, unbeknownst to Bobby (but beknownst to us), is that this warlord is just another identity taken up by Pious Augustus, who technically isn't the Big Bad of the game but is the closest thing the player has considering that his direct boss is one of three of four (of five?) eldritch Lovecraftian ancients. So no, that's not Tamerlane, even if it is Tamerlane. At best, that's Pious Augustus Who Has Taken On The Name of Tamerlane, and as far as The Chart is concerned, that's Different.

... I mean, not that you can't still get to Eternal Darkness anyway. You just can't use Tamerlane. You can use Charlemagne instead, since there's a whole level about catching up to him before he can get hit with All The Curse.

(Credit: Super Best Friends Play)

Spoiler: You fail, and he gets hit with All The Curse. Route still works, though!

Also you don't need Age of Empires in the first place. Just use Civilization.

I continue to waste your time!

(A non-Ryu-Number-related tangent, for a sec: Maximillian Roivas was voiced by the great William Hootkins, who appeared in the flesh in a bevy of supporting movie roles, but who you might especially remember as one of the many doomed X-wing pilots going through the Death Star run at the end of the original Star Wars. Specifically, he plays Porkins, who actually gets identified by name shortly before becoming unidentifiable. If you still can't recall (or if you're stuck the sound off and no subtitles), he's the pilot who, if you already knew one of the pilots was named "Porkins," you'd expect to be the one named "Porkins." Someone in production was mean.)

Finally, at the bottom of this post, I want to talk about a particular connection through Minecraft and The Cursed Crusade that isn't on the chart, actually, because it is Very Iffy At Best and iffy on two fronts besides. Why bring it up, then? Because this is my post, and I'm allowed to ramble fuddy-duddily about the things that interest me if I want.

Anyway, this one depends on two particular appearances: the "Grim Reaper" skin from the Minecraft Halloween Mash-up DLC, and, uh... this other guy from Cursed Crusade.

(Credit: LoadingReadyRun)

Right, so, who exactly is this guy? Well, the game calls him "Death," and he calls himself "Death," subtitled with a capital D and everything, but can you really say an armor-clad depiction of the personification of Death and the Grim Reaper are the same character? Yeah, they're both incarnations of Death, but are they really the same?

(Credit: LoadingReadyRun)

It doesn't help that The Cursed Crusade is so irritatingly vague when it comes to its own lore. For those who have never had the misfortune of experiencing this game, The Cursed Crusade takes place during the Fourth Crusade to Jerusalem, i.e. the one where they ended up sieging Christian cities for money. The protagonist of the game, Denz de Bayle, is Cursed, which effectively means that every now and then someone sets the "Hell" layer to visible in Photoshop and the guy with the slightly techno armor in the screenshots there starts hunting Denz down.

Alright, so that's the big obvious symptom of Being Cursed. But what is the Curse actually doing?

Game doesn't say.

Why is Denz Cursed in the first place?

Game doesn't say.

What is the nature of the knight of Death that seeks to drag Denz to Hell (if he has any nature, beyond simply "Death"), and what tasks him to this duty?

lol aunno.

... Yeah, no, that really doesn't work (hence the asterisk, which usually marks ungrammaticality, but which has taken a part-time job here). If you want to Ryu Number your Cursed Crusade, you have to get in the other way around:

The Cursed Crusade ends in a very And-The-Adventure-Continues! fashion, with the protagonist on his way to Egypt to find his father and said father in Egypt being confronted cliffhangerily by the game's primary baddie. It's all very Hinting At A Sequel, but considering that the game came out in 2011 and, more importantly, Wasn't Very Good, I seriously doubt explanations are forthcoming anytime soon. Or just "anytime," really.

Still, speaking as the dude who made a monstrous Historical Figures Ryu Number Chart in the first place, it's kind of a loss. The Cursed Crusade had a bevy of historical figures, and I can only imagine that a sequel would have done similarly—

(Credit: LoadingReadyRun)

On second thought we are all worse off for this game's existence.

... Wait, am I done? Hey, I'm done! This post took a lot longer than I thought it would to put together, and I thought it was going to take a long time in the first place. Watching two-hundred-plus Age of Empires II videos will make anyone's brain melt, even with the Firefox extension that lets you play YouTube videos at quintuple speed.

But you know what this means, right? It means I never have to watch an Age of Empires II: Definitive Edition video again. Thank goodness.

... Sorry, what's a "turnarome"?

"Return of Rome"? What's "Return of Rome"—

Oh.

Oh huh.

Motherf—

[cestacruz]

Minamoto siblings because i hate them but yoshitsune is too funny when she lies

[Edit] [BTW because i forgot to add it in the art, Yoritomo is the one with the beard (need a class for the fcker...), Yoshinaka is the one smiling on the top right (he's thinking of Tomoe), and Yoshitsune is quite obvious (helmet)]

[nasuversekinkmeme]

RENMANT SPOILERS

Musashi accidentally let its slip that in a past universe she met some guy called Yoshinaka and is immediately jumped by Tomoe for more info

OH ho ho!

[simulatedasianhistory]

sims 4 —Kamakura period figures

Minamoto no Yoshitsune and Ben Ke

Minamoto no Yoshinaka and Tomoe Gozen

Minamoto no Yoritomo

Tomoe Gozen

[horsesarecreatures]

“Tomoe Gozen (巴 御前) (1157–1247); was a late twelfth-century female samurai warrior known for her bravery and strength. She is believed to have fought in and survived the Genpei War. She was also the concubine of Minamoto no Yoshinaka. According to one historical account, Tomoe was beautiful, with white skin, long hair, and charming features. She was also a remarkably strong archer, and as a swordswoman, she was a warrior worth a thousand, ready to confront a demon or a god, mounted or on foot. She handled unbroken horses with superb skill; she rode unscathed down perilous descents. Whenever a battle was imminent, Yoshinaka sent her out as his first captain, equipped with strong armour, an oversized sword, and a mighty bow; and she performed more deeds of valour than any of his other warriors (The Tale of the Heike)” - Kyoto and Nara Dream Trips

[johnnyraine]

Top Shows I Watched in 2023 (not of)

SPOILERS!

7. Loki (Season 2) - 6.5/10

I don't have much to say about Loki other than I loved the final episode, Natalie Holt deserves some kind of award for her music and it makes me cry.

6. One Piece (Live Action) - 6.5/10

As everyone has already said, this should not have worked. I didn't have much faith in it, but I chose to watch it anyway. And I'm glad I did.

Though there were moments of stiff acting and/or line delivery, I still like it overall.

Though I still liked Roger's anime death more than here.

5. My Beautiful Man/Utsukushii kare (Season 2) - 7/10

I don't remember much considering I watched this months ago. But I do recall wanting and waiting for this for a WHILE. I was not disappointed and Utsukushii Kare stands as my favorite BL series. Minato's Laundromat would've been on the list, but it failed me, Utsukushii Kare hasn't. So yeah.

4. Jack O' Frost (2023) - 6/10

I have issues with the whole "an MC has amnesia" plot and considering this has happened 3 times in the same year is crazy to me.

But do recall I Fucking LOVE the music! OOOOHHHH, Shit! I love it. As soon as "Winter Days" started playing during episode 2 or 3, I immediately started looking for the soundtrack.

I also have yet another celebrity crush in Kyoya Honda.

3. Taira no Kiyomori - 8/10

This is unfair given the fact I started this last year and left for a month, making me finish this in January or February. But I still finished in 2023, so it counts!

As per my previous review, I was fucking bored with the first 6 to 9 episodes. After them, however, I loved this show. I love the music, I love the characters, and I like some of the comedy. There are so many great moments that I absolutely love.

Despite knowing how it ended, historically, I was still upset at the characters' deaths.

2. More Than Words (2022) - 6/10

I heard this was a Japanese BL, my favorite type of BL, and I guess. But as others have said, it's mostly about the relationship between Makio and Mieko. Though perhaps not for the second part of the story...

Anyway, I loved this show. It fucked me up, but I did stay up all night till 12 or 1 am to finish it, and I couldn't stop thinking about it for a month. So yeah, despite the score, I am putting it up here.

1. Kamakura dono no 13 nin/13 Lords of the Shogun - 7/10

HERE COMES THE MAIN MAN HIMSELF, KŌKI MITANI!

The main man himself, the man who wrote my favorite Taiga Drama, SANADA MARU! No wonder I was fucking addicted to this show. For first time in A WHILE I watched and finished this entire show in a week.

I was drawn into this show by the fucking neck. I just was.

I remember seeing You Oizumi as Minamoto no Yoritomo and thinking, "Nah." I couldn't get behind him, I simply didn't see it at first. Then he died and literally episodes later, I was missing this man.

All my favorite characters died. ALL! And since I don't know much about the Heian nor Kamakura period, I was taken out. Fucking Kazusa, dead; Minamoto no Yoshinaka, I knew this was so it's my fault, but dead; fucking Wada Yoshimori, I fucking loved him, and I didn't know it! DEAD!

They killed my pathetic twink, Minamoto no Sanetomo. And he was gay! FUCK! I was heavily upset.

And the fact that it ends with Yoshitoko's death via his sister not giving him his medicine and watching him die! Gods dammmmmnnn!

Kōki Mitani you heavenly fucker! Ah!

I also love the music, one of my favorites Taiga drama themes.

Now, that wasn't all I watched, but simply all I felt should be on the list. I refuse to put ten shows up here if I don't care enough for them.

Here's to another year.

[moonstone-vibe]

"SAMURAI WOMEN"

WERE THERE SAMURAI WOMEN?

In early medieval Japan there was an elite of women trained in martial arts and the use of weapons whose mission was to be prepared to defend their honor and their home in times of war, when men had died or marched to the front. These were the onna bugeisha (literally translated as “warrior women”), the samurai women of ancient Japan.

Despite the submission to father and husband that Japanese society imposed on women, converted into cultured wives and devoted mothers by the mentality of the Heian period, there is evidence of women belonging to the noble and warrior classes who were prepared for enter combat if necessary.

These women were trained in the use of the naginata, a spear with a long shaft and curved blade that allowed them to keep their distance from the enemy, the kaiken (a straight-bladed dagger) and the Tanto (a short katana). Although they were prepared for defensive situations in which they could repel enemies that came to their home when there were no men to fight, there were cases in which women participated in offensive actions.

The best-known direct antecedent is that of Empress Jingu, a semi-mythical character who took the place of her husband and assumed the government of the islands and command of the army in an attempt to conquer Korea. Although historians question the veracity of the facts, Jinpu is represented as a fierce warrior who imposed her will on a society that rejected her and ended up overcoming the obstacles that would have prevented her from ruling.

Tomoe Gozen's deadly katana

But without a doubt, the best-known samurai woman in Japanese history is Tomoe Gozen, who is mentioned in the Tales of the Heike and whose beauty and bravery in combat stand out. Tomoe went a step further and she surpassed the standards of the onna bugeisha both because of her skills and the situations in which she was involved. In addition to weapons such as the naginata or the Tanto, Tomoe Gozen was an expert in the use of the katana, archery and horseback riding.

It is one of the few cases in which a woman actively participated in an offensive war action, specifically in the battle of Awazu (1184) where she led a small number of troops in the charge against Minamoto Yoritomo's troops. It is said that Tomoe Gozen fought alongside her husband (or lover) Kiso Yoshinaka and her end is not clear since, depending on the source, some claim that she died or committed suicide in combat and others that she was one of the few survivors of that battle. .

Other famous samurai women

Although history forgot them (or tried to do so), cases of female warriors in Japan are much more common than one might think and extend in time until the very end of the samurai. A striking case is that of Hojo Masako, a contemporary of Tomoe Gozen but with a better documented and less mythologized life. This woman was the wife of a shogun and as such she decided to accompany him in his skirmish as his lieutenant. It is said that when her husband died she abandoned the warrior life and became a nun, but later she took up arms and continued working as an onna bugeisha.

The most recent case, and perhaps therefore one of the best known, is that of Nakano Takeko. She lived between 1847 and 1868, she was the daughter of an officer who educated her in both literature and combat. During the Boshin War, which pitted the worn-out Tokugawa shogunate against a group of nobles seeking to return power to the emperor, Nakano Takeko turned her loyalty to the shogun and led a small army made up entirely of women. She died during the Battle of Aizu when she, seriously injured, decided to perform seppuku (suicide ritual) to avoid being taken alive.

[valkyries-things]

TOMOE GOZEN // ONNA-MUSHA

“She was an onna-musha from the late Heian period of Japanese history. She served Minamoto no Yoshinaka during the Genpei War and was a part of the conflict that led to the first shogunate. Her family had strong affiliations with Yoshinaka. Her story in the Tale of the Heike influenced several generations of samurai.”