#milton david krupnick

[sadboi-writer]

Dear Jack (Series)

Chapter Five: Swords and Magic

Summary: Milton and Y/N get bailed on by their friends because it's "not their thing". But, Rudy offers to help. Then the dojo realizes they're stronger together.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, medieval cursing

Masterlist ~ Chapter Four ~ Chapter Six

Everyone was stretching in the dojo when Jerry ran in.

"Guys, huge problem!" He started, "Kelsey Vargas, the coolest girl in school, is on her way down here."

"Don't panic." Jack assured, "We've trained for this. Guys, bust out the emergency deodorant."

Y/N rolled their eyes, "So you'll put on deodorant for Kelsey, but not for Kim and I? Way to make some girls feel special."

Jerry rolled his eyes, "I don't need deodorant!"

"Yes, you do." Y/N said

"We all need deodorant. We're teenage boys." Milton replied, " Our bodies are a smorgasbord of smells.

Eddie nodded, "I'm not taking any chances, I'm wearing a necklace made of air fresheners right now."

He pulled out a necklace of tree shaped air fresheners and inhaled.

"This week I'm Alpine Meadow."

Jerry shook his head and turned to Y/N and Kim.

"I told Kelsey I was a martial arts expert and the youngest sensei in history." Jerry explained

Y/N cackled, "Oh, you're screwed dude."

Kim made a face and walked off. Rudy approached Jerry.

"Jerry," Rudy greeted

"Oh, Rudy, Kelsey's on her way." Jerry replied, "Dude, please hook me up with that black belt!" Rudy frowned, "You can't have this belt! Its a symbol of hard work, honor, and respect."

"Well, then why do you use it to walk your dog?" Jack asked

Rudy turned to Jack, "That was one time and it was an emergency. I had a pug with the squirts and new white carpet! Look, can we stop talking and get to sparring please?"

Rudy looked around, " Jerry, you're up against Kim. Milton, you're with Y/N. Eddie, you're with Jack."

"Jack?!" Eddie despaired

Jack did some warm up moves, much to Eddie's dismay. Y/N chuckled.

"Don't scare him too much, Jack." They hollered

Jack smiled, "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Uh, hold on. My phone is vibrating," Eddie panicked, " You know I hate to be that guy but- Hello?"

Eddie held his wallet to his face.

"You mean the guy who pretends his wallet is a phone?" Jack replied

Eddie shushed him, "Please, shh! Can you hear me now?"

And Eddie left the dojo.

Rudy clapped his hands, "Come on, guys, let's go!"

As they all prepped to spar, Kelsey walked into the dojo she stopped standing next to Rudy. Y/N waved lightly as they settled into their stance opposite Milton.

"Hi, Jerry," Kelsey greeted

Jerry spun around, "Kelsey, what a surprise."

"So, these are your students who fear and respect you?" She asked

Kim smiled tightly, "Yes, we are. I'm about to fear and respect the living grits out of him right now."

"Oh, no," Jerry panicked, quietly toward Kim, "Not my grits, I'm gonna need my grits!"

Kim was quick to grab his arm and flip him. Y/N cackled, offering Kim a high five.

"Wipeout!" Y/N chuckled

Jerry stumbled to his feet, "Yeah, I'd say you've got that move down pretty well! Oh, you guys take a five. Kelsey and I are gonna get a froyo."

Jerry stumbled toward Kelsey and Rudy.

"Oh, come on, Kelsey," Jerry groaned

Kelsey put out her arm to go with him, but Jerry stumbled and wrapped his arm around Rudy instead. Leaving Kelsey confused.

At school the next day, Jerry was all grump because of Kim embarrassing him.

He stalked down the stairs, "Hey, thanks a lot, Kim! You cost me a date with the coolest girl in school!"

"What are you gonna do, sensei, "She asked sarcastically, "throw me out of the dojo?"

Eddie chuckled.

"Kim, in the future, let's respect Jerry enough not to embarrass him in front of the girls he's lying to." Jack teased

Jerry completely missed the point, "Thank you , Jack! It's called decency, Kim."

The four heard a kazoo playing fanfare and kids laughing on the other end of the hall. They watched as Milton and Y/N marched through in totally embarrassing (in their opinion) royal garb.

Milton trotted to the staircase and announced, "All hail Miltonius, and his enchanting sidekick the Lady Y/N/N! The newly crowned king and queen of Narnia!"

"See, Milton, this is the reason you had to go to spring formal with a bio lab skeleton." Jack pointed out, "And Y/N what are you doing?"

"I'll have you know that Bonita is an excellent dancer," Milton protested

Y/N shrugged, "I'm having fun, Jack. I even made mine and Milton's outfits, do you like?"

Y/N did a little twirl, showing off the intricate design they'd sewn. Jerry smiled and offered a little clap for them.

Eddie interjected, "Hey, I know what's going on! It's that time of year when all the dorks come out and play swords and magic in the park!"

"Or if it rains we use the bingo hall at the senior center!" Milton added, "We tear it up!"

"Yeah we do!" Y/N cheered, giving Milton a high-five

As they spoke, Kelsey walked past the group.

"Hi, Jerry," She greeted

Jerry pushed Milton and Y/N out of the way, "Hey, Kelsey. I was just talking to these kids I've never seen before! I don't even know their names! Right, Milton? Really, Jerry?"

Milton ignored him, "Guys, big news! This year, you guys are all gonna participate in the battle with us!"

"It's going to be so fun!" Y/N chimed in

"What happened to all your other friends?" Kim asked, "You know, the ones who throw up when I try to talk to them."

"This years things are a little complicated," Milton explained, " Francis has a bassoon recital, Jeffrey is a finalist in the Mathlympics, and Louis got grounded for teaching his cockatiel bed words."

"Dude, we're not gonna be a part of your nerdfest," Jerry protested

Milton chuckled, "Very funny, Jerry."

"Nerdfest is in Minneapolis in October, duh!" Y/N laughed

Jack stood, "See, Milton, a bunch of dudes in tights running around the woods beating each other senseless with foam swords-- It's just not our thing."

"Well, it's our thing," Milton proposed, gesturing to Y/N, " And we wanna share this moment with my best friends. That's you guys."

Eddie shook his head, "I don't know. I just quit the cello and threw out my panda bear backpack. I'm just starting to get cool!"

"Come on! Just give it a chance!" Milton pleaded

Y/N looked at the ground, realizing their friends weren't going to budge. Which suddenly made them feel very uncomfortable in their outfit.

"Soon you'll know the exhilaration of bonding down a hill, cape aflutter, to slay a half-elf with a foam rubber axe!" Milton insisted, "Are you with me? All for one and one for- Gah!"

He shouted in despair as he realized the rest of their friends had left them.

"I probably lost them at 'cape aflutter'!" He bemoaned

Y/N played with the lace on the cuffs of their sleeves, pulling lightly at the loose threads they had yet to surge off. Milton came over and put a hand on their shoulder.

"I already made their outfits," Y/N mumbled

"I know, buddy, I know." Milton said empathetically before guiding them away

After school, Milton and Y/N were the first to the dojo. Immediately, Milton was complaining to Rudy while Y/N sat sullenly on a bench.

"I can't believe our own friends bailed on us!" Milton grumbled

Rudy shrugged, "I don't know. Running around in the woods, beating other dudes senseless with foam swords? That just sounds like a good time to me!"

Milton huffed, "Y/N made their costumes and everything!"

"You know what?" Rudy asked, "I love stuff like this!"

Y/N's eyes shot up, a small smile on their face. Milton turned and looked at their sensei.

"Are you saying you'll go into battle with me?" Milton asked hopefully

Rudy smiled, "It would be an honor... my lord."

Rudy bowed to Milton, who couldn't wipe the smile from his face.

"Wow," Milton acknowledged, "You two may be the only real friends I have."

Milton turned and grabbed a bo staff off the wall. He held it high with a smile.

"With this bo staff I bud thee, Rudy, my faithful squire!" Milton announced

"I can't believe it," Rudy giggled, "I'm a squire! I'm a squire! I'm a squire!"

That weekend, Rudy, Y/N, and Milton all took to the park with their weapons and costumes to go into battle. Rudy, being the squire, had the backpack full of everything. The three stumbled into the clearing where battle would start.

Rudy gasped for air, "You know, I don't think this squiring thing is for me."

"This turkey leg isn't gonna salt itself!" Milton insisted

Y/N chuckled, "My lord, I think we ought to give him a break."

Rudy huffed and pulled out his salt shaker, salting the turkey leg as Milton had asked.

"Dang it, I left my grape juice in the Port-a-Pooper!" Milton complained

Rudy shook his head.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go get it!"

Rudy turned and hobbled away to get Milton his grape juice. Y/N turned to Milton.

"Don't get me wrong, Mil. I'm glad Rudy is here," Y/N began, "But, I kind of wish Jerry or at least Eddie was here."

Milton sighed, "Yeah, me too. But, at least Rudy didn't leave us hanging, right?"

Y/N shrugged, "Yeah, I guess it just hurts that they weren't really willing to do for us what we do for them. I almost kissed Truman for Eddie, and he won't put on a cape and beat some guys up for us?"

"Yeah, I know Y/N/N, but we have each other. And we have Rudy."

Meanwhile, back at the dojo Jack, Eddie, and Kim exited into the food court as Jerry danced up. He was in a really good mood.

"Oh, guys, check it out! I smoothed everything out with Kelsey!" Jerry announced, " I promised I would never lie to her again, and I got a date with her this afternoon."

"Yeah!" Eddie encouraged

"The kid is back in the game! Whoo!" Jerry cheered

Jack dapped him up. But Eddie pointed out something behind them both.

"Nerd alert," Eddie stated

They turned around as Sidney and his friends approached.

"Greetings. We are the Dark Knights!" Sidney announced, "Warriors known for being brave and ferocious and-"

Kim cut him off, "Ferocious? Sidney, you cried in science when your fruit fly died."

"That fruit fly left behind 3,000 babies." Sidney narrowed his eyes, " Milton and Y/N said they put together a band of loyal warriors that will finally capture our grail and defeat us. Like that's going to happen!"

Sidney gave his best (yet it was still terrible) evil laugh. Jack cringed.

"Dude, dude, dude," Jack protested, "That evil laugh is so not working."

Sidney turned to his other friend, "Thanks, Benny. You told me it was intimidating!"

Benny shrugged, Sidney stormed off past him. Leaving the four Wasabi warriors in their place.

Jack was first to break the silence.

"Woah, guys, Milton and Y/N called us their loyal warriors." Jack considered, "Now they're gonna be out there all alone against a flock of dweebs hopped up on Honey Buns."

Kim grimaced, "Uhm, Jack, are you saying we should go to the park and help them? Because, uhh- I-- I can't. My, uh, Aunt Charlotte-- yeah, she's coming in from, uhm, Charlotte and we're gonna go watch Charlotte's Web. Wow, I am not good at lying."

Jack sighed, "Look, they've both always been there for us! Jerry, what about that time where you tried to get Kelsey jealous by making her think you were dating a cheerleader? Who helped you out?"

"Milton," Jerry conceded, "Wow, you're right. He was there for me... Did you know that Brian Donnelly actually asked him out?"

"Eddie," Jack insisted, "What about you? You hate going to visit your nana."

Eddie nodded, "That's because she always wants to do things to my hair."

"But who always goes with you?" Jack asked

"Y/N and Milton," Eddie answered, "Sometimes I think nana loves them more than me. And I'm okay with that!"

"And Kim!" Jack continued, "What about that time at the St.Patrick's Day Concert when you lost your voice? Who got you through that?"

Kim sighed as she thought back, "Y/N."

Jack looked around at his friends.

"Guys, I think you know what we have to do." He incited

They all went inside and changed into the outfits Y/N had hung up for them in the locker room. Eddie and Jack exited, Eddie dressed like a bardish elf and Jack dressed like an English knight.

"Seriously?" Eddie complained, "Is this really what we have to do?"

"Yes, it is!" Jack insisted, grimacing himself

The two tried to adjust themselves to be as comfortable as possible. As Kim and Jerry exited. Kim wearing the pink and purple princess dress that had been sewn for her, and Jerry in his tartan kilt.

"Come on," Jerry grumbled, "Let's go to the park."

"I don't get it," Kim groaned, "Why do I have to be the princess?"

"I am not swapping!" Eddie was quick to say

Then the four took off toward the park. Jerry slowed for a moment and looked at a lady who had been staring.

"Hey lady," he snapped, "Eyes up here, okay? Ugh, these sexy legs are a curse!"

The four tromped through the park, out of breath and sweaty as all get out.

"I can't take this anymore!" Eddie hollered, "It's hot, my feet are killing me, and these elf ears are starting to get sweaty!" He pulled one of the ears off and wrung out the sweat from it to prove his point. Causing Jack and Kim to grimace.

"You don't get to complain," Jack countered, "We could have stayed on the path to the battlefield, but noOoOoO, you knew a shortcut through the woods!"

Jack snatched the ear out of Eddies hand and yelled into it.

"This is not a shortcut Eddie!"

"Relax!" Eddie insisted, "I'm an Explorer Scout! I was trained to navigate by the stars!"

Kim started smacking her palm with her wand, "Oh, I can help you see the stars alright!'

Jack grabbed her shoulders and stopped as she moved towards Eddie angrily.

"Woah, woah, come on guys," He mediated, "We have to focus. Their battle starts in a half-hour."

Meanwhile, Milton and Y/N stood with Rudy as they met at the summit prior to the battle.

"So, where is this big loyal army you've been bragging about?" Sidney asked

"Yeah, guys, where are they?" Sidney's wizard asked

Rudy stuck his arm out, "I've got this, your highnesses. Yeah, we may be outnumbered, but my king and our queen have the heart of a lion! And I have the speed of a--a-- you know those animals with the pointy ears and they're really fast?"

"A gazelle?" Sidney offered

"Yeah," Rudy agreed, "Wait, no, no, they're skinny and they don't really run so much as--as just bound! And they kind of go grrr! And, oh it's right on the tip of my tongue!"

"Squire!" Milton interjected, "Let's just go over the rules. One, the first team to capture the other's grail and place it on the pedestal of glory next to their own is the winner."

Sidney nodded, "Rule two, if you get struck on the chest you're out."

"Cheetah!" Rudy shouted, "Sorry, it's the animal I was thinking of earlier. It just popped into my head. Sorry, keep going."

Y/N stepped up, "Rule three, no cursing or foul language. Unless it's a medieval word like 'zounds'!"

The Dark Knights gasped, Rudy placed a hand on their shoulder.

"Y/N, you are better than that!" Rudy insisted

"Not today I'm not," They smirked

The three went to their base to prepare for battle. They watched the Dark Knights parry with their swords.

"Oh, this will not end well for us," Y/N mumbled,"Milton, I fear our defeat is imminent."

Milton looked at Y/N with a bit of sadness in his eyes.

"Rudy, this looks bad," Milton spoke, "They'll be coming for our grail soon and I think you should know, I probably won't be going home with you."

Rudy's eyes hardened, "No, don't you talk like that. You're so young! You've got your whole life ahead of you."

"No!" Milton clarified, "I won't be going home with you because my mom is picking me up here to take me to the orthodontist."

Rudy nodded, "Look, whatever happens down there, It's been an honor to serve under you."

Rudy saluted vigorously. Y/N smiled.

"Rudy, can I get a ride back to the dojo after this?" Y/N asked

He nodded.

"Rudy, I've been thinking," Milton said, "If you're the only one who stood by us."

Milton looked to Y/N for permission, they nodded willingly. Milton unsheathed his sword.

"I hereby dub thee, Sir Rudy, our faithful knight!"

"I can't believe this!" Rudy cheered, "It's all happening so fast! Pretty good for a kid from the wrong side of the tracks with nothing but a pocketful of dreams! Not gonna cry... not gonna cry."

"Get it together!" Y/N snapped

The fanfare blew as they said that.

"We're going into battle," Milton announced

Y/N drew their rubber sword, Milton handed Rudy his then pulled a backup.

"Men, I can think of no greater warriors to fight with." Y/N complimented, "May our souls be lain in glory."

The Dark Knight collectively yelled, "Charge!" Then, Milton, Rudy, and Y/N were back to back. A triangle of threat to anyone who dared go for their grail.

All the while, Jack, Jerry, Eddie, and Kim were still running from the bees that they'd agitated.

"I think we finally lost the bees," Jack panted, "Where's Kim and Eddie?"

Jerry huffed and puffed for a second, "Oh, Kim got her hair tangled up in a thorn bush. Eddie's trying to get her out."

Eddie ran into the clearing, "It took a while, but I finally got Kim's head out of that bush! Luckily I had my official Explorer Scout pocket knife."

Kim walked in, her hair spiked up where Eddie had had to cut it. The three boys gasped. Kim smiled at them.

"Guys, the battlefield is just over there," She pointed out, "Come on!"

She ran off toward the battlefield, leaving Jack, Jerry, and Eddie behind.

Jack turned, "Eddie, even if you make it out of this battle alive, Kim's gonna kill you."

Then Jack took off in a run toward the battlefield. Jerry stepped toward Eddie.

"Wait, that was Kim?" Jerry asked

In the heat of the battle, Milton, Rudy, and Y/N fought valiantly. Swords clashing with fervor as they guarded what was rightfully theirs.

"I don't thinkI have much left," Rudy commented, "My tights are riding up, I got sunblock in my eye, and if I don't get a potty break soon something really bad's gonna happen."

"Rudy, focus!" Y/N insisted as their sword clashed with Sidney's

"Something better not happen!" Milton replied, "Those pantaloons are rented! Battle on! We must protect the grail at all costs!"

"Aye, your majesty!" Y/N shouted as their sword locked with the wizards this time

Sidney knocked Milton's sword from his hand, "It's over Miltonious! Prepare to taste my foam!"

Before Y/N could move to protect Milton, a foam axe flew through the air and hit Sidney. Knocking the sword from his hand. All eyes shot to the perpetrator.

"Ow! Who threw that!" Sidney whined

Jack.

Y/N's face broke into a huge smile as the four sprinted across the battlefield screaming to join them.

Y/N heard Sidney say, "His arm is made of ogres!" Y/N took a swing with their swords, "That is a princess and her loyal knights, you Scobberlotcher!"

Sidney and his knights gasped at the words Y/N had used. Sidney swept up his sword from the ground.

"Retreat! Retreat!" He squeaked out

The four joined Milton, Rudy, and Y/N at their pedestal of glory. Y/N smiled and gave Jerry a tight hug.

"You guys made it!" Milton smiled

"I hoped you would show up," Y/N revealed

Jack panted, "This may not be our thing, but if it means something to you guys, then we're with you, King Miltonious and Queen Y/N/N!"

Milton's smile widened, "Thanks! Who's the dude with the punked out mullet?"

Y/N's eyes scanned and landed on Kim and her janky hairdo. A gasped escaped them as their hand flew to their mouth in shock. Kim looked just as confused.

"All right guys, hands in," Jack was quick to switch subjects, "We've got us a grail to capture."

Everyone piled their hands in, "Wasabi!"

"Charge!" Milton shouted

The group took off in a run toward the Dark Knights, a battle cry loud in their throats. Jerry immediately took down one guy, Eddie psyched out three on accident and they were taken out, and Kim got two.

Rudy stayed a guarded the grail with Y/N on the foreground trying to prevent anyone from getting that close. Jack was taking care of five of them at once. While Y/N had another three. One knocked their sword from their hand. Y/N surely thought they were done for. But, Jack came in from the back, kicked them their sword and fought back to back with them.

When he was done with his enemies Jack celebrated, doing a stupid little running man.

"Yeah!" He hollered, " Don't mess with the Jack!"

Y/N chuckled as they watched him fall into a bush.

Across the battlefield, Milton was locked in battle with Sidney. When his sword was knocked from his hand. He used the swing set to kick Sidney away, then used the flag to pole vault over the knights. Milton got his hand of their grail and grabbed a loose sword. He charged back toward their base and slipped through the knights as they charged. He tripped on his way down, turning the knights attention to him.

Y/N watched Milton set the grail on the teeter-totter. Immediately, they nudged Jack.

"Give me a boost, huh?" They asked

Jack looked and understood what they meant. He cupped his hands as Y/N backed up to get a running start. Y/N ran and ket Jack cup their foot, giving them lift as they launched across the battlefield.

Y/N landed harshly on the upside of the teeter-totter, punting the grail to their side of the field. Milton stood and ran after it as the Dark Knights watched in awe.

Milton ran as fast he could as the battle stopped around him. He dove and caught the grail, slamming it down onto their pedestal.

"Victory!" Milton shouted

Y/N cheered, "Yes!"

Jack ran to Y/N, picking them up in a hug. When he set them down, they looked into an each other's eyes for a moment. It was like the world was quiet and nothing else mattered. Until Jerry joined their hug.

"Whoo!" Jerry shouted, "We did it!"

"Oh! Come on!" Sidney complained

As the Dark Knights dispersed, Jack, Jerry, and Y/N joined their friends by the pedestal.

"Way to go, Milton!" Jack praised, "You did it!"

"No, Jack! We did it!" Milton insisted!

Kim smiled, "Here you go, Milton. Here's your grail, you've earned-"

She screamed as she saw her hair in the reflection of the grail. Kim looked ready to cry.

"My hair,"She squeaked,"What happened to my hair? Eddie?"

Eddie laughed nervously.

"You are so dead!" Kim promised

Eddie screamed as he took off sprinting, Kim hot on his tail. Y/N laughed, leaning into Jack's shoulder.

"Oh, she's going to kick his butt," Y/N chuckled

Later that day, after Milton's orthodontist appointment, the group went to the dojo. Where Y/N was already steaming and mending their costumes. None of them hadn't seen them yet.

"Thanks a lot guys," Milton complimented, "I know you were embarrassed by those costumes. But don't worry, you'll never have to wear them again."

Y/N frowned, they had worked hard on those.

"And no one at school will ever have to know!" Milton insisted

Jack caught sight of Y/N, "You're right, Milton. They don't, but they will."

The following Monday, Jack, Jerry, Eddie, and Kim all wore their newly mended costumes with no fight. Partly to make Y/N feel better about thinking they were embarrassed to wear them. And partly, to just support their friends.

They got laughed at, and Jack officially lost any hot dates he'd been working towards. But, at the very least, he thought it was worth it to make Y/N and Milton happy.

[hitchell-mope]

So basically some of the fancasts for the dark curse are

Creepy Zac Efron. Chessure cats son

What would happen if jack and Milton from kicking it got together. Hadie and grant

Evil Bruce Wayne. Silas

Evil tori vega. Wilhelmina

Nice Regina. White queen

Evil Emma swan. Red queen

Kind lexi Reed. Rene

Emo Peter Pan. Damian Dahl

Evil tom Holland. Arthur

Pathetic hemsworth brothers. Pain and panic under the curse

Bandit prince Caspian and Morgana Pendragon. Robin and Marian

Nice jade west. Eloise of arendelle

[fi1mstar]

i have yet to relate to a character more than the milton david krupnick from kickin’ it

[blackandblue13]

also um uhh louie just said fuck i heard milton david krupnick say the fuck word geez louise what a day

[sadboi-writer]

Dear Jack (Series)

Chapter Six: Road to Wasabi

Summary: Jack doesn't have a present for Rudy's birthday, so he lies and says Bobby Wasabi is coming to visit. Rudy insults Bobby, which gets him fired. Now the kids have to break and enter to get Rudy's job back. Throw in some ninjas and good-old fashion movie plot.

Word Count: 4.2K

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, cursing

Masterlist ~ Chapter Five ~ Chapter Seven

Y/N felt like pulling out their hair. Everything had to be perfect, they had spent months planning this for Rudy. From decorations and food, to the guest list. This surprise party had to be perfect.

It already wasn't going well. The balloons were the wrong color, Jerry had picked up the wrong chips, and Jack was nowhere to be found.

Kim insisted Y/N go into the locker room to cool down. Because they were just running themself up the wall worrying like they were. After about ten minutes Kim sent Jerry to keep Y/N company since he was getting on her nerves.

Nearly an hour and half after he was supposed to be there, Jack finally strolled in.

"You're late," Kim grumbled

Jack quirked a brow, "For what?"

"Rudy's surprise birthday party, remember?" Eddie asked, "Y/N's been planning it forever. They've been freaking out since we got here."

"I thought Rudy knew about it?" Jack asked

"He does," Eddie confirmed, "He went over the details with Y/N two weeks ago when he found out."

"Shh, he's coming!" Rudy's own voice rang out

Rudy reached in and flicked out the lights. Before strolling and turning them on, as if he hadn't just turned them off.

"Surprise." The group said with no enthusiasm

Rudy placed a hand on his chest dramatically, "How did you know it was my birthday? Are you guys trying to kill me?"

He put on a cake hat.

"You better not have brought gifts!" He said, obviously expecting gifts, "But, if you did, now would be the time to load me up!"

Jack frantically chased after Milton, "Hey man, I don't have anything, can I get in on your gift?"

Milton shook his head, "Absolutely not! I put a lot of time, effort, and money into this thing!"

Milton handed the neatly wrapped gift to Rudy.

"This is from Jerry, Eddie, and Me." Milton told him

Rudy ripped it open, " Oh! Joke-a-day toilet paper! Get out! My cousin had this at his house. I literally laughed myself off the bowl! Thanks you guys!... Now, I don't want to turn this whole gift thing into a competition, but Kim, it's time to Top That Gift!"

Jack ran after her, "Kim, do you think I could get in on your--"

"Forget it, Jack," Kim cut him off, "I've got a winner right here. Just go ask your girlfriend."

Jack stood dumbfounded, fully realizing Y/N wasn't there for the first time.

"Unlike some people, I actually put a lot of thought into my gift. I hope you like it, Rudy." Kim said

Rudy ripped open the wrapping paper and gasped, "A signed picture of Bobby Wasabi? My hero, my idol, the man I patterned my life after? 'To whom it my concern, Bobby Wasabi'. That's me, I'm whom. I'm concerned! All right, Jack. Rock. My. World."

The group joined Rudy in crowding around Jack. Kim had a smug smirk on her face.

"Yeah, Jack,"Kim teased, "I'm sure Rudy saved the best for last."

Jack inhaled, trying to think quickly, "Well, you know, I was thinking... you know, everyone knows how much you love Bobby Wasabi. And I asked myself what could be better than a picture, right?"

"Only the man himself!" Rudy chimed, "Wait, wait, wait a minute. Are you saying what I think you're saying? You found a way to get Bobby Wasabi to come down here so I could meet him?"

"Yeah," Jack nodded hesitantly

Rudy bounced on his feet in excitement, "Wait, the founder of this dojo, an international movie star, someone who hasn't been seen in public in 20 years is coming to see me? I can't believe it!"

"None of us can believe it, Jack," Kim challenged

Milton spun around blindfolded with the piñata stick.

"Let's get this party started!" Milton cheered

His swings got out of control and he started moving sporadically around the dojo. Just as Y/N exited the locker room, now much calmer, and carrying a wrapped gift. Milton hit them with the stick and promptly tripped over them.

Once everyone had gotten Milton off of Y/N they each took their leave. Y/N was left alone with just Jack and Rudy. Y/N sat next to Rudy on the bench, handing him the wrapped box.

"What's this?" Rudy asked, genuinely surprised

"Your present,"Y/N explained," It's from Jack and I."

Jack's eyebrows shot up as Rudy looked between the two.

"Jack got me two gifts? That's so nice of him," Rudy said as he started to tear into the wrapping paper, "Seven tickets to the Light it Up Cinema?"

Y/N shrugged, "We rented out a theater for all day Saturday, we're having a Bobby Wasabi movie party!"

Rudy gave Y/N a quick hug before going and giving Jack one too.

"Best birthday, ever!" Rudy cheered as he went to his office

Jack looked at Y/N, "I didn't know you included me in your gift."

"Yeah, Kim said you'd forget so I just put your name on the card," They joked, "I didn't know you got him your own, I didn't mean to step on your toes there."

Jack shook his head, " I didn't. I panicked and told him Bobby Wasabi was coming to meet him."

"Jack, you didn't!" Y/N insisted

"I did!" He lamented

"Bobby Wasabi hasn't been seen in years, he'll never agree to come meet Rudy!"

Jack sighed, "I know!"

Y/N stood, "Let me brainstorm, we'll figure something out."

Y/N grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before leaving the dojo.

The next day at school Kim was still making fun of Jack for his lie.

"I cannot believe you told Rudy that Bobby Wasabi was coming." She teased

"I couldn't believe it either! Words just kept exploding out of me!" He replied, "It's like I had a case of liarrhea!"

"He's never gonna show, Jack." Kim continued, "And Rudy's gonna be crushed!"

"Bobby could show! I mean, my grandfather was his sensei! I found his number and left him a message. It was Y/N 's idea."

Kim frowned, "This could be bad. Remember how disappointed Rudy was when he lost the Name-the-Baby-Panda contest at the zoo?"

Jack shook his head at the memory, "Oh, I know. He put on his crying boots. I know what I said was wrong. But, I mean, who's crazy enough to believe that Bobby Wasabi is actually coming to our dojo?"

Of course, as he said it Jerry, Milton, and Eddie came running down the stairs.

"I can't believe Bobby Wasabi is actually coming to our dojo!" Jerry hollered

Y/N trailed down behind them, an amused smirk on their face.

Jerry hopped down the last couple steps, "Look, Jack! Bro, since Bobby's coming for Rudy's birthday, we've decided to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!"

"We spent the whole night in Jerry's garage writing his comeback movie!" Eddie proudly showed off the script they had written

Jack glanced at Y/N, seeing the dark circle beneath their eyes. Of course Jerry had talked Y/N into helping them. Y/N gave Jack a tired smile and a small wave.

Kim took Jack by the shoulder and walked him a few paces away from the group.

"Wow, you hear all that, Jack?" She asked, "Our friends spent all night in a garage writing a comeback movie for Bobby Wasabi."

"What's bad about that?" Jack replied, "What if they wrote a really great movie?"

Milton chuckled, "Oh, It's better than great! It's epic! Bobby Wasabi is the biggest martial arts action star in history."

"An absolute hero!" Y/N chimed in

"But now he'll battle with the most diabolical force he's ever faced!" Eddie continued

"It's half piranha, half octopus!" Milton built up

"It's PIRANHAPUS!" The boys cheered together

"Eight arms!" Jerry demonstrated

"Nine mouths!" He continued

The four gnawed at the air.

"And one bad attitude!"

Jerry, Eddie, Milton, and Y/N lined up in a clearly rehearsed version of their ideal of Piranhapus. Flailing their arms and gnashing their teeth. All while Kim and Jack stared on.

After school, Eddie, Milton, Jerry, and Y/N sat together staring at the waste of money before them.

"We paid your cousin 50 bucks to make a model of Piranhapus,"Eddie grumbled, "And this is what we get?"

The model was a basketball with hose arms. It looked like shit to be completely frank. Y/N put their head in their hands, a headache forming over the boys bickering.

"You should be happy he gave us a deal." Jerry insisted, "I mean he took our vision and brought it to life!"

Y/N shook their head, "My little brother could have made this, Jerry!"

"Isn't he 4?"

"Exactly!" They snapped back

Eddie placed a hand on Y/N's shoulder, "Dude, we can't show this thing to Bobby Wasabi. It's a joke!"

"No, you know what's a joke?" Jerry snapped,"That tacky ending you wrote. Bro, you ruined our movie!"

"My ending is perfect!" Eddie defended, "No one could even see it coming!"

"Of course they can't see it coming!" Milton finally spoke, "How does a walrus operate a hang glider?"

"Guys, come on-" Y/N tried to intervene

"You know what? Well, here's what we think of your ending!" Jerry interrupted

He ripped out the last page of the script and ripped it into tiny pieces, throwing it across the table. It landed on Y/N's lap and a little bit in their hair. But, Y/N was more focused on the boys fighting in front of them.

Eddie stood, "That's it!"

Eddie lunged at Jerry and started smacking him. Milton jumped on Eddie's back and the three continued to fight as Y/N tried to pull them off of each other.

"Guys, stop it!" Y/N shouted, "Come on! This was supposed to be fun!"

Jack and Kim entered the food court and saw their friends fighting. Jack ran to them.

"Hey, guys, what are you doing?" He shouted, "Stop! Get away! Come on!"

He gently pulled Y/N back before roughly grabbing one of Eddie's shoulders as Kim grabbed the other. Once they were separated, Kim went to check on Y/N.

"What is going on?" Jack asked

"This Bobby Wasabi movie is tearing us apart!" Milton answered

Milton plopped down in a chair next to Y/N, allowing them to lay their head on his shoulder. Kim pushed Jack to the side.

"Jack this is crazy!" Kim whispered harshly, "Just tell them the truth.'

Jack sighed, "You're right."

He slowly approached his friends.

"Guys, you remember how I said that Bobby Wasabi was coming to our dojo?" Jack began

"Yeah," They answered in unison

"Well," Jack continued, "The truth is...-"

Before Jack could finish a man walked by and took one of Jerry;s falafels. Jerry stood angrily, pointing his fork.

"Hey, beef meats!" Jerry called, " Who do you think you are?"

The man turned around, flicking his hair out of his face. Y/N was on their feet in a second.

"Holy mackerel," Y/N whispered, "That's-"

"I am," The man said, throwing the falafel onto Jerry's fork," Bobby Wasabi."

Bobby turned and entered the dojo.

"Woah," The all awed

Y/N was quick to run inside after him. Y/N watched as Rudy left his office. Rudy looked in confusion at Bobby staring at their trophies.

"Uh, sorry ma'am, we're closed." Rudy said politely beginning to approach, "If you're looking for the Large and Loving It Dress shop, it's on the other side of the mall!"

Bobby turned to Rudy, "What was that?"

Finally, Jack and the rest of them sprinted inside.

"Rudy! Rudy!" Jack shouted, "Your birthday presents' here!"

Jack pointed at Bobby.

"It's Bobby Wasabi!"

"Yeah!" Jerry corroborated

"You wanna know why he's here?" Jack gloated, " Because when I say I can deliver, what happens? Oh, that's right, I deliver!"

Y/N chuckled anxiously at Jack's display.

Rudy laughed, "That's a great joke! You hire some big betty to squeeze into a dress and then wobble in here saying he's Bobby Wasabi! It's hilarious!"

Y/N sucked in a gasp, "No, Rudy, really-"

Bobby cut them off, "You don't think that I am Bobby Wasabi?"

He stood beside a cardboard cutout of himself. In all fairness to Rudy he did look quite different. Rudy gave him an unimpressed look.

"No ma'am or sir, I do not." Rudy agreed

Y/N barked out a chuckle. Bobby Wasabi and Jack shot them a look.

Bobby approached Rudy, "That is it!"

He began screeching and attacked Rudy. Rudy easily beat him, flipping him like it was nothing onto the mat.

The whole group was cringing. Y/N warily approached Bobby, offering him a hand up as Kim and Milton ran to do the same. Jack ran to Rudy.

"Rudy, this is no joke!" He insisted, "That really is Bobby Wasabi!"

Rudy finally seemed to believe Jack.

"Oh," He exhaled, stood next to Bobby, "Oh. OH!"

"Oh, Bobby, I'm sorry Mr.Wasabi!" Jack said as the group moved to help Y/N, Kim, and Milton in their effort to get him up

"Mr.Wasabi, I'm so sorry fro the misunderstanding." Rudy apologized, "Um, welcome to my dojo!"

Y/N could practically see the steam coming out of Bobby's ears with how angry he was.

"This is not your dojo," Bobby huffed, "This is my dojo, and you are fired!"

Bobby flipped his hair as he left the dojo. No one knew what to say, so they also left.

Y/N stayed back with Rudy, who was absolutely distraught.

"Everything will be okay, Rudy!" Y/N insisted, "I'm going to figure out how to let you keep your job

Rudy shook his head, "Go home, Y/N."

Y/N pulled him into a hug.

"I'm not giving up on you, Rudy," They told him, "Please don't give up on me."

Rudy gave a weak nod, and Y/N left him to his business.

The next day at school, Kim was still going after Jack for everything. They were all walking together, save for Y/N.

"Nice birthday present, Jack!" Kim exclaimed, "You got Rudy fired. Maybe next year you can give him a balloon and push him down the stairs!"

The five sat down near Jerry's locker, at the foot of the stairs.

"The worst part is, the Bobby Wasabi comeback movie is dead!" Milton complained, "Say goodbye to my Hollywood dream."

Y/N came down the stairs.

"What's Rudy gonna do without a job?" Kim asked

"He'll be fine! Guys like Rudy land on their feet!" Jack replied, " I wouldn't be surprised if he's already found a better job!"

"Not exactly better," Y/N cut in, "But, it's a job."

Jack quirked an eyebrow at them, "What do you mean?"

"Let me just show you guys."Y/N said as the final bell of the day rang

Y/N took the group to the mall, and into Reptile World of all places. As they walked in, Lonnie ran by wailing about a toothbrush. Y/N nodded toward Rudy in his new uniform.

"Hey guys!" Rudy greeted, "What are you guys doing here?"

Rudy's smile didn't quite meet his eyes.

"You know, we just came by to see how you're doing," Jack answered

Rudy waved him off, "Yeah, don't worry about me! I'm doing swell--swell, I tell you."

Rudy began to tear up, and Y/N stepped forward to gently pat his back. Then.Rudy ran off into the back room crying.Y/N watched a wave of guilt fall over Jack.

"Guys this is my fault." Jack admitted, "Rudy's a third degree black belt, and now he's scrubbing turtle butt!"

Jack paused to think. Y/N looked him in the eye, a glint of mischief in them.

"Bobby Wasabi took away his job, and Bobby Wasabi is gonna give it back." Y/N plotted

Jack gave them a high five.

That night they found Bobby Wasabi's mansion. They stood outside the gate as Eddie repeatedly pressed the buzzer.

"He's not answering!" Eddie complained, "How do we know he's even in there?"

Kim rolled her eyes. "Well, someone just ordered a truckload of pastrami!"

They all backed away from the gate. Jack sighed.

"Guys, it took three busses to get here!" Jack said, "So we're just gonna have to break in!"

Y/N turned and saw Milton slip through the bars of the gate. He gestured for them to follow, they did with a bit more effort than he needed. but Y/N also got through.

"Not happening, man," Jerry said, as Y/N squeezed through, " Guys like Wasabi have million dollar security systems." Y/N pointed at a big red button for Milton to go press. When he did, the gate opened. The group entered while Jerry still meandered on about different security measures Wasabi would have.

Y/N grabbed Jerry by the collar and shoved him toward the front door with the others.

Once they got inside, the group stayed as quiet as they could. Peering around corners and trying to stay together. They came to a new hallway.

"Oh no," Kim warned, "That's not good."

She pointed to a "Ninja Xing" sign on the wall. Jerry scoffed.

"Oh come on, it's just one of those gag signs you buy at the car wash!" He insisted

As he finished his sentence four ninja's landed on the ground in front of the group.

"Oh, really, Jerry?" Y/N teased

"Jerry, I don't think it's a gag,"Milton whimpered, "NINJAS!"

The group all ran screaming, splitting up. Jack and Kim ran in one direction, Eddie and Milton in another, and Y/N and Jerry in the third.

Jerry and Y/N got to a dead end and started trying door handles. As they did one of the ninjas came up on them. Jerry paused as Y/N took a swing at the ninja.

"So, what's going on with you and Jack?" Jerry asked as he landed a kick

Y/N whipped their head to him, "What are you talking about?"

Y/N slung the Ninja over their shoulder and to the floor.

"You two are being weird around each other since Truman messed with us." Jerry replied

"We got into a fight," Y/N huffed, standing off of the unconscious ninja, " And I yelled at him that I have a crush on him. But, we're good now, we're ignoring it."

Jerry laughed, "No you're not."

"He is."

Before Jerry could reply, the ninja stood and struck Y/N on the back of the neck. Knocking them out. Jerry held his hands up in surrender.

The ninja picked up Y/N and carried them over his shoulder as they guided Jerry by the back of his neck. They were brought straight to Bobby Wasabi. Y/N was dumped unceremoniously on the ground in front of Milton and Eddy who had evidently also been caught.

"Show some respect!" Milton complained as Y/N hit the floor

"What did he do to them!" Eddie yelled

Bobby waved his hand to silence them, "You lot are in so much trouble. You broke into my house, which means when I call the police you are going to jail. Including Sleeping Beauty there."

They stood dumbfounded.

"Sausage me!" Bobby ordered

One of his ninjas threw two hot dogs into buns another ninja was holding, which were then handed to Bobby Wasabi.

"That's the most incredible thing I've ever seen!" Eddie said in awe, "Sausage me!"

The ninja moved to throw sausages to Eddie.

"Don't you dare sausage him, Evan!" Bobby interrupted, "Take them away! Leave the unconscious one."

Milton yelled, "Fine! Take us away! But when we leave, your big comeback movie leaves with us!"

"How's that now? What?" Bobby stood, "What?"

The ninjas let go. Jerry hautily approached.

"It just so happens we wrote the greatest movie of your career,"Jerry boasted

"A little something called Bobby Wasabi vs. Piranhapus!" Eddie continued

Milton got next to Bobby, "It's half piranha, half octopus!"

"So it's a little piranha with eight tentacles?" Bobby asked

Jerry jumped up on Bobby's other side, "Try a giant octopus with vicious piranha teeth at the end of each tentacle!"

Bobby chuckled, "Ohhhh! I want to fight that thing so bad! I can almost taste it!"

Bobby paused.

"No, that's a little sausage juice left in my mustache."

The boys proceeded to explain the plot to Bobby Wasabi, who listened adamantly. Milton and Eddie sat next to Bobby on the right, while Jerry sat on his left with the still unconscious Y/N in his lap.

"The End." Milton finished

Bobby broke into tears, " That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard!"

The alarm started blaring and Bobby was immediately on his feet. Jerry scooted away, holding Y/N closer.

"Either security's been breached or my pot pie's ready!" Bobby announced

The doors burst open, revealing Jack and Kim still being pursued by three ninjas. Jack faltered seeing Y/N unconscious.

"Hey, Bobby, I've been looking for you!" Jack announced

"Get them!" Bobby ordered

The rest of his ninjas went after Jack and Kim. Milton and Eddie helped Jerry move Y/N off to the side, out of danger. Y/N gently stirred to life just in time to see Jack tap Kim's hip for her to jump on him and kick three ninjas away.

Jerry pushed some hair out of Y/N's face.

"You're okay," He whispered

Y/N nodded and fell back asleep.

Kim and Jack made quick work of the ninjas. Leaving Bobby positively impressed.

The ninjas got up and moved to restrain Jack and Kim. Bobby stood.

"Hang on a second!"Bobby shouted, "That was the perfect Flying Dragon kick."

Jack stood proudly, "My grandfather taught it to me."

"Well, I can't think that your grandfather would approve of you breaking into my house." Bobby said

"No," Jack agreed, "But, he would approve of me standing up for my sensei."

"Your sensei called me a man lady." Bobby pointed out

"It was an honest mistake!" Jack countered, " You've got a ponytail and that thing you're wearing kind of looks like a dress."

"It's a kaftan! It's breathable, wrinkled-free, and great for those on-the-go days!"

"Mr.Wasabi," Jack replied," what was the one thing that all of your movies had?"

"Hot chicks, explosions, and a sassy orangutan sidekick." He answered with no hesitation

"Everyone loved Dr.Bananas!" Jack agreed

Everyone in the room agreed.

"But your movies also had you!" Jack continued, " A man that lived by the Wasabi code. That's the code Sensei Rudy still lives by."

Jack looked to his friends who joined him in the Wasabi code.

"We swear by the light of the dragon's eye," They all said

Bobby looked at them and finished the saying, "To be loyal, honest, and never say die."

"Wasabi." They all finished

"Bobby look, Rudy's far from perfect. But he's more than just a great sensei. He's our friend." Jack insisted, " Do the right thing. Give him his job back."

Y/N's eyes fluttered open, and Jerry gently helped them to their feet. As Bobby contemplated his options, disco music filled the air and a random man came in dancing dressed from the 70's. He grabbed a plunger and danced his way out.

"I hit my head harder than I thought," Y/N said

"Okay, who was that guy?" Kim asked

Bobby shrugged, " I have no idea. I'm just glad that you could see him too."

The group left, Bobby promised to meet them at the mall the next day to give Rudy his job back. Jerry kept his arm around Y/N to keep them steady.

At the mall they waited for their parents to pick them up. Jack checked over Y/N as soon as he could.

"Are you okay?" He asked

Y/N nodded, "Just a headache now."

"I was really worried about you."

"I'm okay, I promise."

Their voices weren't above a whisper. They looked into each others eyes. Jack started to lean in when a car horn honked. It was his mom. He turned around quickly.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He promised

Y/N nodded and left on their walk back home.

The next day Y/N pointed Bobby toward Reptile World. The group stayed outside waiting anxiously to see Rudy. After a few minutes, Bobby came out carrying Rudy like a bride. Eddie stood and started clapping prompting the rest of the food court to join in. Y/N went to the doors of the dojo and held it open for Rudy. As he entered the dojo Rudy pulled them into a bone-crushing hug.

"Thanks for everything," Rudy gratified

Friday after school they started filming Bobby Wasabi vs. Piranhapus.

"Bobby Wasabi vs. Piranhapus take one!" Jack announced clapping the slate'

Lonnie ran out of his shop yelling, "Help me! It's horrible!" A giant tentacle came out of the shop door ad wrapped around him, pulling him inside.

Bobby turned to the camera and recited his line,

"CUT!" Milton shouted

Milton approached Bobby.

"Bobby, baby, bubby!" Milton coaxed, " You're killing me! Where's the energy?"

Bobby nodded, "You're right, I phoned that one in!" Milton turned to Eddie on boom.

"Eddie, go in there and tell Jerry and Y/N to take it easy with that giant tentacle, they're going way too big!" Eddie nodded.

Jerry and Y/N jogged up bickering.

"It's totally your fault!" Y/N blamed

"Hush!" Jerry demanded, "Hey, guys, sorry we're late! They wouldn't let us on the bus with this thing!"

"They let us on the bus, but kicked us off when he smacked the driver with it!" Y/N clarified

"Wait a minute," Eddie said, " If you're here with this, then what was--"

As they looked at Reptile World, Lonnie slammed against the window covered in goop. They all quickly packed their things and ran.

Y/N ran into the dojo with Jack close behind. They looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles.

[sadboi-writer]

i loved your dear jack story! i keep going back to it (i’ve been on a kickin it binge) would you ever finish it?

hi!! yeah, i’m definitely planning on it! i’m in college and my classes are pretty heavy right now, but whenever i’m able to i write bits and pieces!! the next part of Dear Jack should be up in a few days actually! i’m so glad you like it!!

[sadboi-writer]

Dear Jack Masterlist

Chapter One: Wasabi Warriors

Chapter Two: Fat Chance

Chapter Three: Dummy Dancing

Chapter Four: Dojo Day Afternoon

Chapter Five: Swords and Magic

Chapter Six: Road to Wasabi (TBA)

[blackandblue13]

idk wtf is going on with milton’s outfit but i absolutely love it and him i love him i love milton david krupnick friendly reminder he has like a short-sleeve patterned button-up under a dark brown vest and skinny jeans what a fashion icon what a BIcon oh my goodness 

[blackandblue13]

DOES ANYONE NEED A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT I LOVE MILTON DAVID KRUPNICK BECAUSE I LOVE MILTON DAVID KRUPNICK