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asimpledreamwanderer · 1 year ago

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random (humanized) ttte headcanons!

the scottish twins absolutely love marmalades of any sort. they make it their goal to have some sort of marmalade at least once a day and love to try new marmalades (and douglas has racked up quite the skill in making dundee marmalade too!)

as patriotic as duck is about "the great western way," and to an extent, london and england, as much as he loves typical british cuisines, he absolutely despises chicken tikka masala being seen as a national dish of the united kingdom, but not for the reason many would think he does. he despises it seeing it as more of a disgrace to actual south asian foods, having seen the world prior and exploring many different regions and their cuisines, and actually believes that the dishes are best kept the way they are intended, and often recommends individuals other south asian dishes to try when this fact comes up.

james tousles and plays with edward's hair to help him go to sleep. earlier on in their relationship, edward used to experience frequent nightmares and sleeping troubles, something that would worry james to no end- especially since edward is very good at hiding any turmoil he experiences, and edward usually takes on a leading outwardly supportive role in their relationship. james began to big spoon when the two would get ready to sleep and play with edward's hair while having conversations about their day with edward until edward falls asleep, then holding him warmly throughout the night. one of his favorite things is waking up in the morning to edward sleeping soundly in his arms as the sun traces over them entangled in the covers.

percy actually becomes somewhat of a common man in local railway politics- not assisting directly in strikes, but negotiating for specific conditions and requests of workers to be met- and following edward, probably eventually becomes one of the fat controller's right hand men when it comes to overlooking operations and making sure everyone stays on task. he's also very good with children, having enough of a childlike spirit to have fun with them while also being responsible and stern enough to establish boundaries with them. percy is more of a quiet observer sort, slowly developing from being more or less of a c*nt to seeming more curious and childlike- though the childishness is not intentional, he simply wishes to know more and collect that information.

(tw: misogyny mentioned)

mavis definitely didn't have the best experiences prior to working on the sodor quarry and on the north western railway. she was oftentimes the only female driver, if not the only female diesel engine driver on her old railway, and was subject to crude language, misogynistic threats, and was forced to double down in favor of her male colleagues quite often. it's why when she came onto the north western and the sodor quarry she became irritable, and even more irritable when toby was trying to kindly direct her on where to put the trucks. for the first time, a male colleague was simply directing her- not berating her, not making crude misogynistic remarks to her, not threatening her alongside her engine- simply directing her and ensuring she does her tasks right. and that set off years of trauma from all of the misconduct and misogyny she experienced on her former railway to seep out, leading to her feeling as if she was "taking control" over her life by doing what she wished- but obviously, resulted in poor decision making. i'd imagine since then especially with emily and toby's places on the north western she has gotten a therapist and reached out to friends for emotional support- she's in a much better place now :)

thomas LOVES anything cheesy. and with bacon. he's also really really willing to try new foods and LOVES spicy food. unfortunately his cheekiness has also led to him sneaking a few REALLY HOT peppers into gordon's sandwiches which.. well... let's say it didn't end up well for poor thomas.

millie actually adores listening to stephen's stories of the older days, when he was referred to as "the rocket," and of how different life was back then- she's a little bit of a railway historian herself, and her engine's cab has many railway posters from the older days plastered inside it as a tribute to railway history

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deadcactuswalking · 1 month ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 12/10/2024 (KSI is in the Thick of It)

For a seventh consecutive week, Sabrina Carpenter holds onto the #1 with the smash hit “Taste”… and otherwise, it’s a weird one. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, references to real murder cases and Prime energy drinks

Rundown

As always, we start this week with our notable dropouts, those being songs that exited the UK Top 75 (which is what I cover) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. For this episode, we bid adieu to “Big Dawgs” by Hanumankind and Kalmi, “Ain’t No Love in Oklahoma” by Luke Combs, “Yellow” by Coldplay (though, funnily, not because the song is old, more on that later), and finally, the surprisingly long-running “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi.

As for our gains and returns… okay, let’s cover re-entries first because there is a bizarre story regarding the middling region of this chart. Firstly, we have some other stragglers returning for unrelated reasons that feel more typical, like “Riptide” by Vance Joy at #75, “Pretty Slowly” by Benson Boone at #71, and “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe taking some virality back all the way up at #34 – the songs so far have peaked at #10, #43 and #2 respectively.

Secondly, we have a bit of a true crime documentary on our hands. Television writer Ryan Murphy has an anthology series on Netflix regarding real crime stories, typically famous murderers, with the most recent September series focusing on the brothers Lyle and Erik Menendez. This Monsters series has proved controversial since the first season focused on Jeffrey Dahmer in questionable ways, but the second edition has faced criticism itself. Variety reports that Erik himself disapproves of the portrayal of his brother, with whom he murdered their parents in 1989. This may explain why a hit parade from the late 80s has exploded onto the higher-middle section of the chart, particularly due to the fact that several songs from famous pop music fraudsters Milli Vanilli have resurged.

I imagine anyone reading this series will know the story of the manufactured pop duo, but for a summary, Frank Farian, who also curated Boney M., had recorded music by session musicians that was promoted by two aspiring entertainers from Europe, him propping them up as the members of the “Milli Vanilli” duo when they did not by and large contribute to the records, especially not the hits, which all came out after their GRAMMYs were awarded to them. Safe to say they were revoked, and when they were caught lip-syncing to a looped track, their career collapsed and one half, Rob, sadly passed a few years after. The other member, Fab, has stayed long enough in the public eye for the music made under the controversial moniker to have maybe not critical acclaim but a public interest that is much more sympathetic to the two as victims of industry bullshit than the public was back in the 90s. This reappraisal of the story led to a documentary, a biopic and a completely unrelated true crime drama is the final push, it seems.

From 1988 to 1990 – their stardom really only lasted around two years before it all came crashing down – they had six hits in the UK, the first of which is perhaps their most famous because of how involved it was in their downfall. It’s “Girl You Know it’s True”, which peaked at #3 and bizarrely is not charting this week as you may expect – it’s definitely my favourite and an iconic hit of theirs… well, maybe not “theirs”. Instead, we have “Girl I’m Gonna Miss You” (sometimes listed without the “Girl” at the start) back at #40, which thanks to error, the Official Charts Company is recognising as a new song. The song originally peaked at #2 for three weeks in 1989, being just pipped at the post by Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers’ “That’s What I Like” because, yes, pop music has always been kind of a joke, and the late 80s exemplify that the best, and then “All Around the World” by Lisa Stansfield. Meanwhile, “Blame it on the Rain” actually reaches a new peak as it returns to #47 – yes, really, it only made it to #52 in 1989. My fun fact that I want to add is that the duo guest-starred – right before the scandal – in the Super Mario Bros. 3 tie-in cartoon, where they serve as Wendy Koopa’s favourite band. Subsequent airings took their songs out but had the animations retained, meaning that they mouthed along to instrumentals… which may be the funniest way to accidentally reference the fact they were, in essence, voiceless in their own music.

Now this series hasn’t just boosted those two poor saps, not that I can imagine Fab takes home any royalties from it. In fact, the highest track re-entering apart from “Prada” is by Oceanic rock icons Crowded House, whose massive hit “Don’t Dream it’s Over”, a #1 in their partial home of New Zealand and a #2 Stateside, is back at #37. It first reached the top 40 in 1987, a year after release, peaking at #27 in the UK, whilst The Firm’s “Star Trekkin’” was #1. Like I said, the late 80s were an often comical era for popular music, but I should say that this was replaced by the Pet Shop Boys’ “It’s a Sin” the week after. Crowded House weren’t done, however: they would have a series of hit singles and albums, and singer Paul Young took his 1991 cover of their initial hit to #20, whilst U2’s “The Fly” was #1. A development of clout for the original did reach a point where Crowded House released a greatest-hits compilation in 1996 and with it came a remixed single. I initially could not figure out why there was a 1996 re-release, but from finding a confused Steve Hoffman Music Forums user who had posted about owning the remixed single, I discovered that Spike Stent had remixed the track to justify a re-release that did peak higher at #25, whilst Robson & Jerome were #1 with “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted”. Meanwhile, in 1999, Lou Bega’s iconic “Mambo No. 5” was at the top during the week wherein a rework simply titled “Don’t Dream” by Irish band Dove debuted and peaked at #37. Personally, the first version will always be the classic for me, I definitely prefer it to the mostly dull Milli Vanilli tracks, and I am aware none of these will last, but it’s a fun story, right?

Backstory aside, and sheesh, a lot of backstory it was, we also have some normal gains, those being “I Only Smoke When I Drink” by nimino at #61, “Who” by Jimin at #31, “Diet Pepsi” by Addison Rae at #15, “I Love You, I’m Sorry” by Gracie Abrams at #11, “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez at #6, and of course, thanks to the new Coldplay albums, “WE PRAY” with what may as well be 2024’s version of Band Aid is at #20 and “feelslikeimfallinginlove” is at #18, we’ll discuss more about Moon Music later.

Now for the top five, that should be more familiar: Sabrina’s at #5 and #4 with “Please Please Please” and “Espresso”, “Die with a Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars has reached #3, Chappell Roan’s “Good Luck, Babe!” still stalls out at #2 and Ms. Carpenter of course reigns at #1.

New Entries

#74 – “N o C h i l l” – PARTYNEXTDOOR

Produced by Nonstop da Hitman, Alex Lustig and Bass Charity

Back in my day, the only things stylized like that were vaporwave edits of Bart Simpson. Drake protégé and fellow Canadian crooner PARTYNEXTDOOR has been active since the early 2010s in alternative R&B, with this being a sleeper hit from his most recent record, his fourth self-titled album that gathered more buzz for its anally penetrative album cover than its music. This is becoming a genuine Bubbling Under hit though so there must be something in the music to make the backshots worth it, surely? Well, no, this is pretty much your bog-standard PARTYNEXTDOOR song. His imperfect, fumbled Auto-Tuned warble would be potentially fun over a more organic instrumental, but layering him over a sea of pitch-shifted stray vocal blips and pads, alongside a trap slab that stifles any momentum, makes these R&B slow jams more like slogs than anything sensual. It also influenced PARTY to leave a lot of empty space for whatever reason, when the song’s instrumental, apart from some admittedly nice string inflections back in the unbefitting mix, and especially its content, mostly just about how he treats his girl to materialistic items, does not warrant much contemplation. He comes to a sturdier flow in the second verse, but when the song’s main conceit is the dumb joke that ever since PND got his girlfriend that “ice”, she’s had “no chill”… no, I can’t take anything here as intended, and especially not a spoken word outro that sounds like a phone call from his partner but reflects on absolutely none of the song’s content, or anything actually interesting either! I haven’t been able to take PARTY seriously since “Ratchet Happy Birthday” anyway, but this is not exactly helping matters.

#52 – “You Go Your Way” – Perrie

Produced by Alfie Russel and Joy Anonymous

At least it’s not a riff on the Fleetwood Mac classic of a similar title. Former Little Mixer Perrie Edwards has her third solo track out, after the underperformance of “Tears” which I personally really enjoyed, and whilst the sound of this track, which really becomes a fuzz in the mix thanks to too many elements in the chorus, gives me even less idea of where her solo sound will be, it does show that perhaps she doesn’t have much of an idea either. This is a cover of EDM duo Joy Anonymous’ “JOY (Get Over Me)”, with the abrupt, jerky chorus and dated production being inherited nearly entirely from that track, and whilst I like the bassline, the busy drums and barely decipherable flush of instruments in the chorus make this a real head-scratcher in the mixing department. The song could probably double as a song about not just being cautiously willing to depart from her ex-boyfriend, but also one regarding the Little Mix breakup and inevitable reunion, and whilst Edwards is clearly a capable vocalist, there really just isn’t much space, often quite literally, for her to work with, and absolutely not anything of lyrical interest, outside of the nervousness in the content fitting into the awkward, staccato feel of many of the song’s inflections, which is a cool touch, also present in the original, that does pair up with the detail in “Tears” as well. Sadly, Edwards’ vocals get somewhat crushed and treated not particularly well in the mix, with a really overwhelming chorus full of belting and overlapping vocal riffs that ends up just being straight-up hard to listen to. Perhaps a fine song in another context, but this anthemic single loses me primarily in production and final touches, which might just be the worst place to lose me as it makes the potential even clearer.

#43 – “ALL MY LOVE” – Coldplay

Produced by Bill Rahko, Daniel Green, Max Martin, ILYA, Oscar Holter and Michael Ilbert

It should be no surprise to anyone that Moon Music, the latest output from British cultural landmarks and possibly still regarded as a rock band, Coldplay, has sold over 200,000 copies and planted itself immediately at #1 on the albums chart. I did listen to the record, and it was of intrigue to me what would end up charting, since they really picked the only obvious singles as the singles… and this is largely an ambient album in its approach: tracks are purposefully unimpactful and feathery, atmospheric and sometimes lengthy and multi-part pseudo-epics that intend to reach bliss and serenity instead of functioning as hit songs or anthems like they’ve gone for at least once in their albums prior. I suppose that’s what “WE PRAY” is for this record, but “ALL MY LOVE” is a piano ballad about the undefeatable love Chris Martin shares with his partner: they can go through anything, they’ll still have his unconditional love. It’s a strong devotion for such a light, softening breeze of a ballad, which was initially teased as a piano solo improvised after a failed stage invasion during a live performance of an unrelated track. Now, I’ve said before that I really enjoy Ghost Stories and Coldplay’s lighter, less bombastic and arena-ready side, which did lead me to finding this album comforting, including this track, though “AETERNA”, “JUPiTER”, “GOOD FEELiNGS” with Ayra Starr and the one with the rainbow emoji as the title were my personal favourites. That doesn’t rule out “ALL MY LOVE” however as it is still a cute track. The backing vocals from H.E.R. are a nice touch to make the love feel requited, giving Martin’s typically solemn and warbly tone a bed of soothing comfort that decorates much of the album, and whilst the chorus is structured and sung almost as if it were a standard, the delicate guitar and really immaculately-mixed string orchestra swell place this thoroughly in their post-Britpop specialty. They even go for a slow burn like always, though it reflects less on the song’s overwhelming emotion than it does just on acceptance that love is beautiful and weathers many a storm that nature couldn’t. Call me old and sappy, but that’s sometimes nice to hear, and Coldplay are well within their mode in their later career to sell that, and quite blissfully. There’s a live version on the “Full Moon” deluxe edition, and a quirky lyric video, but other than that, I’m unsure to whether it’s being pushed as a single so far – it would be a damn good choice because adult contemporary radio would be all over something like this, and for good reason. It’s really pleasant, and if you want a good night’s sleep, I recommend spinning the album back to front.

#14 – “Thick of It” – KSI featuring Trippie Redd

Produced by Ray Michael Djan Jr.

The wonderful thing about YouTubers making music is that you really could go in wild and interesting directions. It’s a form of outsider music, really: giving entertainers famous for other talents and unique personalities the budget and access to recording equipment and materials could really lead to some interesting songs, especially given the subject matter could relate to their personality and/or content, the music could reflect their own probably diverse taste, and even if the end product isn’t great, it would still reflect their unique character. KSI hasn’t done that since “Lamborghini”. In what I can only presume is an effort to be taken more seriously, English YouTuber KSI of the “Sidemen”, also known as JJ, has been making pop-friendly fluff for years, nearly all of which I’ve covered in some form on this show. I like the song he made with Craig David, I suppose, but he will forever be the guy who said on a charting single that he’s “hella horny like a rhino watching porn”.

I have looked into this single specifically because there is discourse and criticism surrounding it, particularly with his food and drink collaborations with other YouTube scandal magnets like Logan Paul and Mr. Beast, that has led to more of an outrage marketing tactic: be everywhere, promote this song, and be really annoying about it, it’s clearly enough of a strategy to get to the top 20. Hell, it may be a strategy I prefer from JJ since it at least inflects the meme into his music in a way that could be at least fun or easily seen as novelty instead of the admirably sincere moves made into the industry from him and his celebrity guest stars for what is now half a decade. With that said, I don’t think this one goes for either approach: in fact, it finds quite an awkward middle ground.

Ignoring the fact that the video contains a massive Prime bottle frozen in an ice cube – yes, really – I cannot fully tell if this is a joke song or genuine attempt at pop stardom. There would be a boyish charm to his inept vocals if not for how egregiously layered and multi-tracked they are to sound like a Lil Nas X caricature, there would be some laughs to the Flo Rida-level lyrics if he didn’t deliver references to his own energy drink brand with a straight face. There would be some fun to find in the guitar-tinged drill beat not dissimilar to, say, 24kGoldn, if it wasn’t so smothered in the mix by a rumbling bass competing with overly trinketized drums and quadrupled vocal takes. The verses are so short, rendering the song primarily as a hook machine, and yes, it is catchy, but the lyrics don’t merit that or stick in your head as anything but sound: consider what he’s actually saying – if you don’t know anything about ice, how do you have bling? What does “They know me where it snows, I skied in and they froze” really mean? What brag is that, JJ? That your biggest fans are in the Alps? Once you commit so much to the jewellery-as-ice metaphor, you start to make zero sense. I will give credit to the fact that Trippie Redd delivers here, as whilst they have collaborated prior, and Trippie does anything for a check – ask MGK – he has some genuine grit to his whiny bellowing that lets him get away with the backing “Woo!” ad-libs and the actually okay content in his short verse, which is performed partially in an accent that reminds you that, yes, Trippie Redd really is from Ohio. In fact, he saves the song for me, even if there is some irony in that he dismisses his foes as “cold” when that’s the song’s main conceit.

With all that said, it does not matter. The song is listenable and catchy enough to work as meme fodder, it has a high-budget music video and big-name guest star that will attract investors, and it still is, despite all its flaws, somewhat entertaining, and completely kid-friendly. “Thick of It” really isn’t an awful song – it’s just KSI’s first step into becoming an ITV game show host. When you’re not taken seriously as an actor, singer or boxer, and he doesn’t even seem to want to be particularly, light entertainment may just be the way out of YouTuber purgatory for our guy here. Or get Craig David back. That’d be fun.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to Coldplay for “ALL MY LOVE”, which isn’t great but outside of some elements of Perrie’s, may be the only new entry worth defending. As far as the worst, I suppose it is “N o C h i l l” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. KSI’s song really is far from as bad as it’s painted out to be. As for what’s on the horizon, I think the UK Singles Chart will look completely different, but it’ll also still be the charts. Oh, and The Kid LAROI. For now, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #trippie redd #ksi #thick of it #partynextdoor #perrie edwards #you go your way #coldplay #moon music era #all my love #monsters: the lyle and erik menendez story #milli vanilli

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