#millennial douchebags

[sickbutsocial]

advanced stages of decay:

acid cities waves and doubts

10/06/2018 - 03/20/2019

[bogleech]

Thinking a bit about how younger modern audiences were kind of put on blast for not liking the sitcom "Friends" and it was chalked up to some kind of hyper sensitivity and changing values, but the things everyone hates now about its characters are broadly the same exact behaviors as those of "Seinfeld," which was framing those behaviors as wretched, selfish and ignorant at the exact same time to absolutely massive success and many of its jokes still hold up with those millennials and zoomers.

And the same people who found this difference baffling are themselves generally still aware of or even love Always Sunny, the entire point of which is also that we are watching horrible people, and many of the ways they are presented as horrible - laugh track and all - are actually rarely much worse than traits that appear to be excused by the narrative of "Friends."

But the biggest irony there is that you weren't even really supposed to love the characters in the latter, either. It's more obvious at some points than others, but the writers of Friends were still clearly conscious of writing whiny, spoiled douchebags. It simply wasn't executed in a way that felt as honest as its competitors or successors. It simply wasn't as competent and didn't highlight their flaws brutally enough to be as funny.

[naomilores]

Tyler, The Creator - CHROMAKOPIA (2024)

Tyler in Technicolor

Like many millennials, I've grown up with Tyler, The Creator. I was 17 when "Goblin" came out, and he was this loud, confrontational guy who was mainly here to shock people. His lyrics were smart, but they were also suuuuuuuuuuuper vulgar, and as a newly-rowdy teen escaping a conservative family, I was all about it. I spent a lot of time in 2012 walking around my small-town college campus with "Her" blasting in the headphones, hating my douchebag neighbors & my somehow-required-even-for-humanities geology class.

But then, at some point leading up to 2017, Tyler grew up. Suddenly he's detonating bombs onto the radio with singles like "See You Again" or his iconic "New Magic Wand". This is Tyler in his late 20's and he's mostly done with the shock jock persona and, by his own admission, trying to really get people to take him seriously as a musician. And he really succeeds! Flower Boy gets him nominated for a Grammy, and IGOR wins him his first.

If I had any criticism for Call Me If You Get Lost, it's that the album, for all it's hits, didn't feel cohesive the way IGOR did. But he's back with this release, it may even be his most cohesive work yet. Just for one example, look at the reprise from "St. Chroma" on the closing track. What really sticks out to me on CHROMAKOPIA is that he's talking about the things people my age (EARLY 30's, for the record) are often thinking/worrying about. Specifically, the question of whether or not to have kids. Millennial musicians in general are talking about it a lot in 2024, look at Charli XCX's "I think about it all the time". Tyler takes a few swings at it, on "Hey Jane" and the gorgeously-arranged "Tomorrow".

Often, as young people, we know that our lives are finite, but it's not until we've lived a few decades that we begin to understand the extent to which our days are numbered. We realize we only have so much time to make certain decisions. This is why psychologists like Erik Erikson, who break a lifetime into different developmental stages, identify this time in life as a stage known as intimacy vs isolation. Can we share our lives with someone? Can we go on to share our lives with children, who we must take care of and make sacrifices for? Tyler's really tapped into this struggle, I found it relatable!

The backing tracks really groove throughout, especially on tracks like "Judge Judy" or "I Hope You Find Your Way Home". I'm thrilled to hear Tyler singing entire songs. I think it's criminal it took so long for that to be a key feature on his albums, he's a truly talented vocalist. It really feel like he's found his footing between making deeply personal hip-hop & punchy pop hits. Tyler makes great choices on features for this album, especially Daniel Ceasar who shines on "St. Chroma", and Doechii who kills on "Balloon". But look at the credits and the production team is a whole sky of stars: Steve Lacy, Donald Glover, WILLOW, Solange and more. Tyler should get a lot of credit not just for the musician he's matured into, but the producer he's become. He makes really deliberate choices with samples, on "Noid" it's an obscure Zambian psych rock song. Whereas on "Darling, I" he grabs the snaps off of Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot". Even the whistling into a full brass band on "Sticky" is a deliberate decision, a reference and a gift to HBCU marching bands, who have wasted no time in covering the song.

Tyler ultimately ascends to something higher in "Like Him", where he confronts his ambivalence around fatherhood. He grew up never knowing his father, and it gave him a lot of grief that he expressed in his music from the beginning. how he still sees himself in that idea. Add this all to his mom's voice featuring all over the album, he's really centering his thoughts about family in our modern times.

So what's the final takeaway on CHROMAKOPIA? Life is uncertain, and stressful, but we have to try and be present for as much of it as we can. We need to feel the whole spectrum of human emotion, the pain with the joy, because otherwise a life is missing many colors.

[thetreetopinn]

PINNED POST!

Oh hey, I should make a pinned post. Might be a good idea.

Hi, I'm Smokey.

ABOUT ME

I'm a dragon. I used to write a hell of a lot and I'm trying to get my mojo back. Burnout is a serious ass bitch.

I don't identify as trans offline, but to quote Thought Slime: "I'm not fancy, I'll use whatever pronouns ya got lyin' around."

So, you can use: He/She/Any/All

My favorite pronoun joke, since I live in a particular state, is: "My pronouns are yee/haw."

I do however stan all my trans brothers, sisters, and non-binary siblings. You better respect trans folks or your pronouns are gonna be was/were.

👴👵HOW OLD AM I👵👴

A lotta of folks put "AGE IN BIO OR YOU'RE BLOCKED" or "MINORS DO NOT INTERACT" or something like that.

Here's my answer. I'm an elder millennial.

If that's not good enough, here. I'm older than this:

No, I'm not going to put my actual age in my bio. No, I'm not going to put my birth year in my bio. If "Elder Millennial" or the "I'm older than $Movie" isn't good enough, well, sounds like a 'you' problem. Sorry.

"yOu cOuLd bE lYiNg aBoUt aLl oF tHat!" So could someone who put a number in their bio.

🪄✨🌈POLITICS🌈✨🪄

I live in the United States (for my sins) and I'm a frothing, foaming, shrieking, screaming leftist.

Being an elder millennial that lived through: A) 9/11 (I was in high school at the time) B) 3 consecutive, once-in-a-lifetime, economic disasters (2000's oil price bubble, 2007-2010 subprime mortgage crisis, 2020 stock market crash) C) The pandemic (and seeing people lose their fucking shit and prove that zombie movies are ENTIRELY plausible) D) Just... well... everything that's happened with my country's government at various levels ...You could say I've been radicalized.

So, let's get the obvious political talking points out of the way and watch my follower count shrink a bit!

✊🏿Black Lives Matter✊🏿

🏳️‍⚧️Trans rights are human rights🏳️‍⚧️

🏳️‍🌈Stonewall was a riot🏳️‍🌈

Sex work is real work

Forced birth is a form of torture

Cars suck Give us public transport, walkable cities, & high speed rail

N@zis can fuck right the hell off into a god damned volcano Same with t3rfs, biological essentialists, crypto douchebags, "AI" techbro fucksticks, and libertarians who think age of consent means "mental maturity"

Palestine will be free This doesn't make it okay to be an antisemite Supporting Palestine does not mean "Eradicate the Jews" Protesting antisemitism does not mean protesting Palestine The Israeli State does not equal The Israeli People Hamas does not equal The Palestinian People

Trumpists and MAGA are fascists and white supremacists Same with Qanon Same with all the far right schmucks like the oath keepers, the 3 percenters, the proud boys, the KKK, and other similar groups

Capitalism is just feudalism with extra steps When forced to choose between money and a sustainable world, Capitalists will always choose money and let the rest of us burn Eat the fucking rich

I believe in pursuing the maximum amount of freedom for the maximum number of people

This is, of course, not a complete list.

Heh, I'm sure that'll piss of a LOT of people. And I'm totally down with that. If you're offended by any of this, please, cry some more. And feel free to leave nasty comments or mean asks or whatever. Just lets me know who to block! Thank you for outing yourself!

If you wanna show solidarity with any of this, just reblog with a 🐉or a 🐲. Why a dragon? Because dragons are cool. No I'm not biased.

⭐WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT ON THIS BLOG⭐

I'm probably going to include a broad mix of things. Some of it will be suitable for all audiences, but a lot of it VERY MUCH NOT.

Things I will likely reblog:

Funny memes

Important news/posts/political updates

Wholesome stuff

Plenty of generally queer affirming stuff This includes aro/ace folks, ya'll are valid too

Plenty of explicitly trans affirming stuff

Art that I like (cute)

Art that I like (impressive)

Art that I like (adult/kink related)

Adult/kink related posts in general

Furry stuff I would say "LOTS AND LOTS OF FURRY STUFF" but it feels like Tumblr isn't all that prime a spot for furries, but I stan what I can when I find it

🫷You said adult/kink--is this a PORN blog!?!🫸

Not explicitly, because Tumblr is a coward. I'm old enough to remember when this place used to allow straight up porn. Then the great puritanical purge happened. Still, this blog stans sexytimes and those who create stuff in that vein.

Kinks/fetishes you'll see me reblog (if I find it and I like it):

Vore (Soft, safe, endo, almost exclusively consenting) Various forms that can fall under this, like unbirthing

Pregnancy (fpreg, mpreg, nbpreg, tpreg, it's all good)

Transformation

Gender transformation I honestly don't know if this is the right term for this Someone's sex/gender changing through sciencey or magical means

Big strong dudes/ladies/enbies

Twinkish dudes/ladies/enbies

Size difference

CONSENT. I HAVE A HUGE CONSENSUAL KINK. ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT IS HOT. NOT EVEN REALLY AS A KINK BUT JUST KNOWING & UNDERSTANDING THAT THE INVOLVED PARTIES ARE INTO WHAT'S HAPPENING IS SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT.

Other weird things that I can't think to include here

All of this is stuff that I've written smutty stories about in the past (and I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing, again, burnout is a bitch). If you wanna know more about that, feel free to ask about it.

Things I am NOT into and will almost assuredly avoid:

Vore (Hard, cruel, fatal)

Pregnancy, specifically birthing

Non-consensual stuff

Piss, scat, vomit, blood

Omegaverse

Macro/Micro aka Giant/Giantess (nothing wrong with this, it's just not my thing)

Underage characters (minimum age: 18)

"Aged Up" characters that are clearly just an excuse to get around the underage problem (if you slap a pair of tits on a cartoon of an 8 year old girl... you're sexualizing a cartoon child. Fuck you.)

This is, of course, not a complete list.

DNI ACCOUNTS

Minors

Porn bots

Fascists, racists, t3rfs, zionists, ✨CHRISTIANS™✨ (yes there is a difference between christians and ✨CHRISTIANS™✨, and I think you know what I'm talking about)

Crypto assholes

"AI Art" and ChatGPT assholes

This is, of course, not a complete list.

I think that's plenty to put in a pinned post... probably too much, very TL;DR I'm sure. But whatever. If someone complains to me about something that they could have learned by just reading it here, well... it's their own damn fault.

Anyway, be kind and stay weird.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Bone of my Sword

Scott Pilgrim is a franchise I hold near and dear to my heart. I was already a fan of the comic when it dropped way back when as I WAS those kids. When the OG graphic novel first released, Scott Pilgrims’ Precious little life, I was that twenty year old, hipster douchebag, who knew everything but absolutely nothing. I, personally, didn’t struggle with relationships (fortunate to have met the great love of my life early on and never looked back), but I had friends who were desperately trying to maneuver that mire of self-discovery and intimacy. Scott Pilgrim is the distillation of the Millennial experience during out prime years (if you buy into that sort of thing), captured perfectly on the page by Bryan Lee O’Malley. That said, the film adaption? Scott Pilgrim vs. The World? That is a Millennial culture milestone. When that movie released back in the early Tens, it spoke to me, directly. It spoke to a lot of us. We were those wayward idiots, living in garages, spinning our wheels in terms of careers, just vibing away to dope music and life experiences. I remember being that young, discovering The Killers and Kid Cudi, moving out of state on a whim just chasing new stimuli. Seeing that film, was like watching a crib notes of my entire life experience to that point and it left a strong impression. If I wasn’t a fan before, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World definitely made me one. I showed that movie to anyone who would watch it, gushing about its overlooked genius, and lamenting how there wasn't an anime or something, which adapted the entirety of the comic. Fast forward thirteen years later and, as if the Netflix gods heard me pining all those years ago, they delivered unto us Scott Pilgrim Takes off. I have feelings.

Scott Pilgrim Takes off is a goddamn masterpiece! I absolutely adored this show. It's exactly not what you think and i thought making that choice, was a brilliant one. Don't get me wrong, i am a Scott Pilgrim purist but, if we're being honest, with two decades worth of perspective behind me, the OG Scott Pilgrim story is kind of bullsh*t. Scott is the worst and never really had to reconcile for that sh*ttiness. He dated Knives and never really caught any flack for it on his end. He mooched off Wallace until he started mooching off Ramona. Scott was a scumbag on par with e very other Evil Ex, with the exception of, maybe, Roxie. Removing him from the equation not only gave Scott the distance from his would-be actions to grow into a solid, redeemed character, but gave the rest of the cast that very same opportunity. It gave Ramona that opportunity, one she sorely needed. One that we, as fans, didn't even really KNOW she needed. Giving the big chair to Ramona allowed her to reconcile how terrible she was toward her Exes. It gave her so much more agency than just being "won" at the behest of the weirdly gross and aggressively abusive, Gideon Graves. Takes Off is as much Ramona's story as it is Scott's and that sh*t makes for the overall narrative, becoming something more. Adding Ramona's story to this tale, adds a layer of maturity, which makes sense considering it's been twenty years since Scott first punched Matthew Patel into pocket change. Altering the perspective from Scott to Ramona, taking the narrative from one of destruction to healing, absolutely MADE the entire franchise. Altering the perspective from Scott to Ramona, taking the narrative from one of destruction to healing, absolutely MADE the entire franchise.

This take on the story sees Scott actually "defeated" by Matty Pat and the ensuing mystery of his perceived "death" sends Ramona on a quest to find the truth. During this journey, SHE is forced to "fight" with her Exes, and by fight, i mean actually apologize to them for being a sh*tty person. Ramona finally stopped running after she met Scott and he basically murdered all of her evil exes. That made for, at the time, some cool imagery but it was, objectively, an absurd way to properly unpack your traumas. Especially the ones you create yourself. And let me tell you, that League of Evil Exes? Yeah, Ramona definitely created that sh*t. We get hints of each villain origin story in the film and graphic novels but Takes off is ABOUT those relationships and why they ended the way they did. It doesn't take long to understand that Ramona, too, is just as terrible as Scott, but in a different way. Seriously, Roxie's episode hammers that home with such intensity, you don't have a choice but to accept it as gospel. Every Evil Ex gets this treatment. Mostly. Once again the Katayanagi Twins get shafted but that's their thing and they kind of don't seem like assholes anyway. Not really in the previous takes on the story, either. Like, those relationships should have keyed us into just how f*cking destructive the trail to Ramona's flower truly was but we were kids back then, too, and that's the brilliance of Scott Pilgrim Takes Off: We're not kids anymore and neither are these characters.

I'm thirty-nine years old. While i love Scott Pilgrim for what it was, as a dude two decades removed from that time in my life, i can honestly say i was a f*cktard. All twenty-somethings are. We haven't figured out life, at all, and some of us won't even as we approach our mid-Thirties. By the time you're my age, however, once should hope you have a handle on your sh*rt enough to recognize that, maybe, way back when, during your Twenty-something scumbag days, that you were a little bit of a scumbag. That's what Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is doing. That's what the story is about. It's catharsis and acceptance which comes with the benefit of time and space. Bryan Lee O'Malley published the first Scott Pilgrim story when he was about twenty-five. That means he wrote it at an even earlier age and it reads as such. That narrative reflects the emotional maturity of someone who had experienced a handful of years unto themselves, outside the protective bubble of their parents, give or take. Takes Off is written by a mid-Forties, adult man, who has had a life. O'Malley has been married, found success with his goofy little story about wayward love, walked the Hollywood red carpet, made a name for himself, and suffered the sting divorce. He's not punching his problems or running away from them anymore, he's confronting them head on and accepting that, a lot of the issues in his life, are because of his choices. As i approach the cusp of the big Four-Zero myself, i recognize that. I accept that. I've been doing that. To see it happening in one of the most culturally defining stories of my generation, is both comforting and surreal. Scott Pilgrim Takes off is a wonderful show. It's the most appropriate period on a sentence we Millennials started writing way back when we took our first steps into adulthood and i love it for that. That said, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game is the best thing to ever come out of this franchise. Fight me about it.

[hanna4869]

Minnesota grandma slapped with 90-day prison sentence in 2021 over Covid violations says ‘Tim Walz will take your rights away’ | The Post Millennial | thepostmillennial.com

Douchebag No Ballz Walz..

[smokeybrand]

Bone of my Sword

Scott Pilgrim is a franchise I hold near and dear to my heart. I was already a fan of the comic when it dropped way back when as I WAS those kids. When the OG graphic novel first released, Scott Pilgrims’ Precious little life, I was that twenty year old, hipster douchebag, who knew everything but absolutely nothing. I, personally, didn’t struggle with relationships (fortunate to have met the great love of my life early on and never looked back), but I had friends who were desperately trying to maneuver that mire of self-discovery and intimacy. Scott Pilgrim is the distillation of the Millennial experience during out prime years (if you buy into that sort of thing), captured perfectly on the page by Bryan Lee O’Malley. That said, the film adaption? Scott Pilgrim vs. The World? That is a Millennial culture milestone. When that movie released back in the early Tens, it spoke to me, directly. It spoke to a lot of us. We were those wayward idiots, living in garages, spinning our wheels in terms of careers, just vibing away to dope music and life experiences. I remember being that young, discovering The Killers and Kid Cudi, moving out of state on a whim just chasing new stimuli. Seeing that film, was like watching a crib notes of my entire life experience to that point and it left a strong impression. If I wasn’t a fan before, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World definitely made me one. I showed that movie to anyone who would watch it, gushing about its overlooked genius, and lamenting how there wasn't an anime or something, which adapted the entirety of the comic. Fast forward thirteen years later and, as if the Netflix gods heard me pining all those years ago, they delivered unto us Scott Pilgrim Takes off. I have feelings.

Scott Pilgrim Takes off is a goddamn masterpiece! I absolutely adored this show. It's exactly not what you think and i thought making that choice, was a brilliant one. Don't get me wrong, i am a Scott Pilgrim purist but, if we're being honest, with two decades worth of perspective behind me, the OG Scott Pilgrim story is kind of bullsh*t. Scott is the worst and never really had to reconcile for that sh*ttiness. He dated Knives and never really caught any flack for it on his end. He mooched off Wallace until he started mooching off Ramona. Scott was a scumbag on par with e very other Evil Ex, with the exception of, maybe, Roxie. Removing him from the equation not only gave Scott the distance from his would-be actions to grow into a solid, redeemed character, but gave the rest of the cast that very same opportunity. It gave Ramona that opportunity, one she sorely needed. One that we, as fans, didn't even really KNOW she needed. Giving the big chair to Ramona allowed her to reconcile how terrible she was toward her Exes. It gave her so much more agency than just being "won" at the behest of the weirdly gross and aggressively abusive, Gideon Graves. Takes Off is as much Ramona's story as it is Scott's and that sh*t makes for the overall narrative, becoming something more. Adding Ramona's story to this tale, adds a layer of maturity, which makes sense considering it's been twenty years since Scott first punched Matthew Patel into pocket change. Altering the perspective from Scott to Ramona, taking the narrative from one of destruction to healing, absolutely MADE the entire franchise. Altering the perspective from Scott to Ramona, taking the narrative from one of destruction to healing, absolutely MADE the entire franchise.

This take on the story sees Scott actually "defeated" by Matty Pat and the ensuing mystery of his perceived "death" sends Ramona on a quest to find the truth. During this journey, SHE is forced to "fight" with her Exes, and by fight, i mean actually apologize to them for being a sh*tty person. Ramona finally stopped running after she met Scott and he basically murdered all of her evil exes. That made for, at the time, some cool imagery but it was, objectively, an absurd way to properly unpack your traumas. Especially the ones you create yourself. And let me tell you, that League of Evil Exes? Yeah, Ramona definitely created that sh*t. We get hints of each villain origin story in the film and graphic novels but Takes off is ABOUT those relationships and why they ended the way they did. It doesn't take long to understand that Ramona, too, is just as terrible as Scott, but in a different way. Seriously, Roxie's episode hammers that home with such intensity, you don't have a choice but to accept it as gospel. Every Evil Ex gets this treatment. Mostly. Once again the Katayanagi Twins get shafted but that's their thing and they kind of don't seem like assholes anyway. Not really in the previous takes on the story, either. Like, those relationships should have keyed us into just how f*cking destructive the trail to Ramona's flower truly was but we were kids back then, too, and that's the brilliance of Scott Pilgrim Takes Off: We're not kids anymore and neither are these characters.

I'm thirty-nine years old. While i love Scott Pilgrim for what it was, as a dude two decades removed from that time in my life, i can honestly say i was a f*cktard. All twenty-somethings are. We haven't figured out life, at all, and some of us won't even as we approach our mid-Thirties. By the time you're my age, however, once should hope you have a handle on your sh*rt enough to recognize that, maybe, way back when, during your Twenty-something scumbag days, that you were a little bit of a scumbag. That's what Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is doing. That's what the story is about. It's catharsis and acceptance which comes with the benefit of time and space. Bryan Lee O'Malley published the first Scott Pilgrim story when he was about twenty-five. That means he wrote it at an even earlier age and it reads as such. That narrative reflects the emotional maturity of someone who had experienced a handful of years unto themselves, outside the protective bubble of their parents, give or take. Takes Off is written by a mid-Forties, adult man, who has had a life. O'Malley has been married, found success with his goofy little story about wayward love, walked the Hollywood red carpet, made a name for himself, and suffered the sting divorce. He's not punching his problems or running away from them anymore, he's confronting them head on and accepting that, a lot of the issues in his life, are because of his choices. As i approach the cusp of the big Four-Zero myself, i recognize that. I accept that. I've been doing that. To see it happening in one of the most culturally defining stories of my generation, is both comforting and surreal. Scott Pilgrim Takes off is a wonderful show. It's the most appropriate period on a sentence we Millennials started writing way back when we took our first steps into adulthood and i love it for that. That said, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game is the best thing to ever come out of this franchise. Fight me about it.

[fangirlshameblog]

rutube(.)ru/video/cffdc259a0f522e83be020f359271d0d/ think the interviews in this are the most in-depth exposition of his underlying philosophy (short of reading his essays in L'esprit) ...i 100% agree on his problem with post-modernism - which also leads to min 18:58 --> i

Slavoj Žižek: wears socks with sandalsManu, an intellectual:

[sickbutsocial]

advanced stages of decay: shadows / ghosts

10/09/2018 - 04/20/2019

[missmeinyourbones]

haikyuu boys as icks

because my favorite thing is humbling men and fictional men are no exception | aot version & jjk version

atsumu:

does that thing where he "forgets to know your name" so he doesn't look obsessed with you, but in reality he just looks like a douchebag LOL he's comes up to you all nonchalant like "y/n, right?" as if he doesn't follow you on ig and like all of ur pics....and he thinks it makes him look so cool and popular and mysterious and then u look him dead in the eye and ur like "yeah, you're osamu, right?" he's humbled very quickly

osamu:

when he’s really tired or clingy, he talks in a baby voice :/ sometimes even refers to himself in the third person :/ just typing this rn is making me frown with disappointment. like yeah atsumu may be the more dramatic twin, but thats only bc he’s shameless in public. behind closed doors, osamu is right there w/ him. you find him pouting on the couch after a long day like “osamu wants cuddles >:(” or “can we make dinner together i’m hungwy >:(” big offender of the “sowwy” and “pwease” agenda. arrest him

suna:

is the embodiment of that one trend where you tell guys they look like they can’t swim and they get so unnecessarily defensive about it LOL. you say he “gives off a vibe that he can’t swim that well” and hes DISTRAUGHT...immediately whipping out all of his cards to prove you wrong like “obviously i can swim, wtf let’s go find a public pool rn and i’ll show you how good i can swim” also gets you back in such a ruthless way like “okay, but i can. and you look like you don’t know how to read.” feelings end up hurt on both ends :/

hinata:

whenever you guys go to the store, he holds up the line because he’s like “oh, i have a coupon for that!!! :)” but it's never convenient at all. it could be for the most minuscule or absurd products too, like toilet paper or ballpoint pens, and he’s digging through his wallet once you guys reach the register. like baby AREN’T YOU A PRO ATHLETE???? i think you can afford the extra $1.42 for granola bars. you bring up the idea of him having the coupon ready before he gets in line and he’s like “idk i don't wanna hold it for that long 🥱”

kageyama:

LEAVES HIS BEARD HAIR IN THE SINK AFTER SHAVING. oh my god, i am making myself angry rn. you rinse it out every single time and when you ask him if he knows what happens to all of his little trimmings, he’s just like “idk....i guess they just evaporate or slide down over time” when you literally clean up after him like a maid :I he makes me sick (inspired by that one tiktok of the oblivious husband and knowing wife)

bokuto:

doesnt understand politics so he just labels himself as “non-political” which comes across as him just being douchey :/ it makes him look so ignorant when he first tells you :/ like a man who thinks he’s too good to be socially and politically aware bc it doesn't affect him / when in reality, politics just really isn't his forte academically and he’s never learned the basics of it :/ because he is really smart ok i stand by this!!!! he’s a scholar and a college grad...he just only focuses on his areas of interest. take a gov course baby expand ur horizons

akaashi:

if you ask him those silly hypothetical relationship questions (the ones where you just want him to say something sweet, something that proves he loves you) he is not having it in the slightest. you ask him “would you still love me if i was a worm?” and he’s deadly serious like “no? one, that's not even possible. two, if i’m ever attracted to a worm then i need to be constrained and arrested. three, i think that’s really wrong for you to expect me to seamlessly deal with that big of a transition in our relationship--” and you have to be like OH MY GODDD OKAYYYYY IT WAS A TEST!!!  AND YOU FAILED!!!

kuroo:

millennial core LOLLLLLLL im sorry. he posts a pic of him after he gets his hair cut and captions it “just did a thing! :P” EWWWW my toes are curling rn. he takes his selfies from the highest mom facebook angle and does the signature middle aged white man smirk. if he ever films a video of himself it’s so cringy bc he does the millennial zoom in and talks as if he’s a movie protagonist. attends a single work meeting and claims he’s “adulting 😂” at the ripe age of 27

oikawa:

when he really likes you, he does that thing where he's like "you're just not like other girls/people!!!! you're so different!!!!!!" you do basic human things like don't constantly wear makeup or eat whatever you please and he's like "i love how you can be so real around me, you're so quirky <3" you shave your legs or do your hair and he’s like “baby you don’t have to do all of this for me!!!!” he’s never touched a woman in his life. self unaware king 

iwaizumi: 

swears that period cramps are not that bad and that people who get periods over-exaggerate to make men (or people who don’t get periods in general) feel guilty about not dealing with them. believes with his entire chest that “getting kicked in the balls” is equivalent to the pain of childbirth. one day you jokingly buy one of those period cramp simulator machines and hook him up to it. he's all “i’m gonna be fine babe” and “it probably just feels like a stomach ache”.... he doesnt get past the 3rd setting and is holding back tears when you finally turn it off 

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

I highly doubt Kells knew every single thing about this dude. He probably never heard about him and just showed up because someone told him to. Famous people have less control over their own lives than we do. He's told where to go and who to talk to. Especially if he's on a new label he's probably not pushing back much. I don't know why EVERYONE gets judged by who they're associated with, they seemed awkward as fuck together. Millennials don't research every little thing about someone. I don't think he knew anything but "Cleveland", and I don't judge him for being on a podcast to spread his music.

Why do they have to do better? Why can't fans be more understanding? That's coming from a trans person who definitely gets terrified of Andrew Tate type fucks. No one should have to know everything about everyone. They're human too.

Glass houses, stones, all that. Just saying 🤷🏼‍♂️🖤

Edit: I'm not saying this douchebag isn't a douche. But how would they know all of that? That list of stuff said he's a white power guy so... Do you think Trippie or Kells would have gone in there had they known? You could tell he was rushed yesterday. Let's focus on cancelling the people who are the actual problem and not the guy who went by for a few minutes and had an awkward as fuck encounter.

By the way... You might listen to... Any of Colson's music before thinking he's a good example? He doesn't try to be a good example. He's a human trying to find his way. I don't think he even thinks he's a good dad but he's loving and there and he's trying. That's more than most people. I don't put famous people on a cross or whatever, I don't think they're saints or gods. They're just as human as any of us and everyone makes mistakes. We can let him know the guy sucks, but we shouldn't judge him for everyone he's around for a while. The world doesn't work like that.

Just want to note a few more things about Adin. He streams on Kick because he was banned from twitch and Kick has no rules. He was paid $100 million to do so. He streamed porn to his extremely young male audience and gambles away hundreds of thousands of dollars regularly, worships Andrew Tate and spews sexist shit about women constantly and over sexualizes and belittles any women on his stream. His chats are full of people saying wh*te power, and he gives them a platform. He very anti-LGBTQ. The influence of this POS terrifies me for the younger generation who worship him.

Even if it’s just Colson wanting to be part of what the kids are doing these days, I’m horrified. Market all you need to but I want better from him 😭 he has a daughter, tons of female fans and lgbtq fans.

I understand how you feel to a degree but like how did Colson come to be on his stream anyways? Was he invited? Are they friends? It didn’t seem like it due to how awkward they were together on the live. Is it possible Colson doesn’t even know all that shit about him? A lot of the time I think we assume celebrities know everything about other celebrities when they really don’t. Kinda like how we all knew Avril had a track record for being engaged/married to artists she’s worked with before but Mod didn’t, hence the lyrics in Strangers “the first time, I ever made you laugh on face time,I didn’t know about your past life.” At this point if celebrities don’t occasionally interact problematic celebrities they’re gonna have no one to interact with , Hollywood is so fucked! At least Colson broke ties with Badboy, and ditched Megan , let’s focus on that for now.

[chivalrousgent]

Ok so, idk if any of my followers are from Oklahoma. But I am. And I'm reaching out to the Tumblr family to do what it does best. Make dirtbags famous in the worst possible ways and ruin their lives in the process. This man is Ray Alexander, and I've verified the provided info. To make matters worse, the post he shared is that of Senator Steven King (who is currently under investigation for this exact post) I'll add updates if they occur, but till then. Make him viral. Hell, make them both viral.

[sjw-publishings]

A Le’Silver Lining

Based on a story from Midas Touch, by @dumb-and-jocked

“Finish up pronto, or you’re fired.”

Aden sighed, he really wanted to get that promotion, the next step up the corporate ladder, but because of some desperate plea of a ‘millennial-life crisis’, he ended up revealing to his incredibly hot Boss...hoping he had been closeted this entire time.

He was wrong.

Recalling the many words and verbal insults from the strict CEO, it was far from a ‘privilege’ throughout these past few years.

And to be paid a similar wage while handling this douchebag’s laundry is just the icing on the cake.

All he wanted to do was to head towards the top with a faithful partner, but instead his arrogant boss reduced him to some laundry ‘boy’. He was in his mid 20s and treated like some joke.

“This is humiliating!”

Stuffing in the last few piles of clothes, he grumbled, but not too loud just in case his boss spied on him. Turning on the laundry machine as it whirled, done for the day...though not for long knowing how unreasonable that homophobe was.

Folding his arms, pocketing the white gloves he had to wear. As the douche puts it, ‘so he won’t catch the gay’. He rubbed his palms all over his youthful face, trying to contain himself from tearing over his demotion a couple of hours ago, hoping there will be a way to get some power back.

*Shone*

From the corner of his eye came a glint of something shiny, alone at the corner of the clothes basket was a singular watch, which was without a doubt very costly.

Not like his boss’s that shone gold, but rather one of silver. ‘A promising shine...yet dull’. One of the many insults that alpha would arrogantly scoff at him.

“Better polish this before he starts complaining about it.”

As he said that, he grabbed a cloth that appeared to his side and began polishing the accessory. Not realising how the watch voluntarily attached itself to his wrist as his eyes were laser focused on polishing the silver lining.

Le Silver Lining.

His fingernails began trimming themselves short, hands were bigger and more worn...yet eloquent. The changes trailed down his arms, tightening his biceps with lean muscle of a servant who had been tasked with numerous duties beyond laundry.

The boss eventually demanded more from him after all, as the shirt he wore had split into two, the lower layer ironing itself to his chest, sculpting his abdominals to six stones as two modest arches formed the front side of his chest, tightening as the solid foundation gets filled with pectoral muscle.

Starch blue Sleeves rolling down to his wrists, regaining the familiarity of a buttoned down as the upper layer rested over him like a navy suit jacket. He had to look presentable always, even if he was Mr. Conrad’s servant, especially when he had visitors.

Of course, his snobbish boss was always in control, living under his roof meant a rigid schedule with tons of tasks always needing to be done. Buttocks tightening...ensuring there will be no time for any poking from behind.

“He did give me some leeway though.”

Connecting his legs, as the stress pitched a tent beneath his trousers, which shifted to a more expensive quality that he missed, tightening on those knees in dark blue like his suit jacket, as he stood tall over 6ft, slightly shorter than his boss...but definitely the height of a man who was in charge of many things.

The man in the older twenties nodded, as with every swipe, the new reality of his situation became clearer and clearer.

His pouch rested comfortably in those briefs, which came with the uniform ‘to set ‘boys’ straight’ as so he proclaims. Being dedicated to his boss meant he had no time for a long term relationship, seeing men less and being forced to chat with women.

Though with the amount of ladies chatting with him....

“He has been exceptionally generous.”

Huffing out an arrogant flair, starting to appreciate his employer. Yes, he was bi-curious, nothing too serious though, at least with the men.

Plus the watch was, after all, a symbol of gratitude and position from the older male. Despite the consistent banter during his first few years, he really grew on him despite the excessive homophobia.

Because, it was as his boss said, working under him was a privilege.

Both things, he too had inherited from his long time boss. He did serve under him over 16 years, and while Conrad was demanding, he was absolutely generous, as long as one fits into his mould.

Which its something he slid on in perfectly.

“Still, not really my type, no?”

The age gap was less than a decade, but he was not interested in such acts with the man. Putting his foot down, shoes being polished into a prim and proper wing-tip, strictly professional like their relationship.

The strictness was something he did admire in a superior, alongside the pompous arrogance, he probably wouldn’t date the man even if he were gay! Despite it being so arou-

“Non non...what am I thinking?!”

His voice deepened, darkened. His nose wrinkled in disgust, disapproval to his more...’immature’ ways. Aging out to a matured thirty eight, as his skin took on a more elegant and healthy glow. Raised in the life of the wealthy, but with the humility of a servant.

They were simply, Sir and b...Monsieur. A Boss and his trusted butler, a respectable relationship between gentlemen.

Standing up straight, a posture he maintained throughout his years at the CEO’s house, shoulders filling up nicely on his uniform, buttocks being disciplined shut as though he vehemently made a decision to stay far from those kind of acts.

And of course, this choice was made solely on his own.

“Unacceptable, no?”

Smirking to himself, recalling the many rants from Sir Conrad about ‘faguettes’ and how disrespectful youths nowadays were, and the many nights they had fine women over as a result.

Giving a few combs to his hair, tight and thorough hairspray glued his slicked back cut to his scalp, maintaining it since he started as one of the servants in the mansion, the prim and proper look for someone who belonged underneath his employer, yet dashing enough to stand out for the ladies.

And of course, he had a level of authority unlike the supervisors of his boss’s company. Bringing his palm to his face, brushing against the dark brown bristles, stubbles, beard on his chin down to a more concentrated ‘chin strap’ as the locals call it.

Jaw sharpening itself to a cleft, moustache dressing above his upper lip, trimmed and twirled to the ideas from the CEO, with a modest patch of fuzz below his lower lip, mirroring his superior’s well groomed moustache.

Like a shadow, he would do as his employer says, and behave like him...with a Parisian twist.

The experienced servant giving a few final swipes to the watch with ease as the polished beam shone into his eyes, lenses. A pair of rectangular spectacles framed his new perspective, with utmost appreciation to his employer.

Brows arching downward, trimming away any resistance to the loyal affluence of the frenchman’s dark brown eyes. Pocketing away his hankerchief, he turned on the washing machine and made his way to the living room with a pre-prepared cart of treats.

Knowing, according to his watch, its tea time.

“As expected as always, Monsieur.”

Antoine bowed down to his waist, proud of his accomplishment of being second in command to the CEO of C.O.N. Corporations. And while he may not have a title like the fine gentlemen sitting at the boardroom, the Butler had more say in who stays than any of them ever could.

That enough was of satisfaction to the eloquent Parisian.

“Now if you would excuse us, we would like to have the rest of the afternoon undisturbed until a quarter past nine...”

As his boss said that, a fancy looking Madame climbed on top of him, and initiated an intense make out session like every other evening after a special occasion.

“Understood sir, enjoy your session.”

The french butler walked on auto pilot out of the room, leaving them to their heterosexual pursuits. Of course, while he was a fellow ladies man, he wasn’t going to steal the spotlight from his boss. He wasn’t a ‘boy’, but a ‘Monsieur’, and besides...

“Heehee~”

There was someone far more interesting on the staircase...

A french maid, dressed loosely in that typical frilly attire, winked at him. That cheeky vixen...she was literally asking to be painted, pulling his attention from his multitude of assignments to be done, and onto her.

Alas, the ladies do come first, his boss always encouraged his many trysts with women across the mansion, as long as he did a clean job.

And this blonde was no exception, most definitely another generous reward from Sir Conrad, something his eyes savoured by examining those pillows on her mattress.

Removing his glasses, he gave a dashing look at the lady, and daringly spoke.

“Bonjour Mademoiselle, Coffee, Tea, or me?”

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Hiii!!! I have a question that i'd love if you could answer, but no pressure! Do you have any tips on writing Kate? or more specifically, are there any things that you keep in mind when you're writing her? just any kind of advice you feel like sharing for someone writing her :) (((ik that every writer is different in their interpretations of characters in fics, etc, but i'd really love to hear any thoughts you'd be willing to share!))) <3

This is an incredibly flattering ask, first of all, so thank you! also this got hmmm very long so i apologize. the adderall wore off and now the gremlins in my brain are knocking everything off the shelves in search of dopamine

And it seems like you already know this, but I’ll say it anyway: your mileage may vary. My interpretation of Kate is really personal, and I have often, knowingly or unknowingly, used writing Kate to work through some of my own traumas. so like, advice number one, feel free to work through trauma via Kate Bishop

keeping that in mind, here are the four things I keep in mind when writing kate:

her trauma

Kate’s been through a lot of shit. For me, focusing on this was a way to work through my own trauma and mental health issues, but even if that’s not your jam, it’s still something to keep in mind. She’s survived rape, her mom has died, her dad tried to kill her AND she found out he was a lying douchebag, she’s been a government fugitive twice, she’s seen her best friend die in front of her, she’s been hit by a car. So there’s a lot of mental health stuff and physical health stuff. I have depression and PTSD and anxiety and panic attacks and dad issues, so that’s something easy for me to focus on that also is supported by the text. Don’t be afraid to lean into a mental health thing, or the fact that she has also canonically gone to therapy. I like that combo when writing about Kate—that she deals with a lot of trauma baggage, but she’s also works through it

The physical trauma stuff also helps when remembering that she’s a soft squishy human unlike a lot of the people she hangs around with. It’s easy for me to imagine she’s got a bum knee or chronic pain issues. I’ve written concussion stuff specifically because I remember having post-concussion syndrome and it made sense that she would have it, too? Though now that I’m thinking about it, the physical issues from avengering is an idea I’m going to have to revist while leaning more into “what if kate couldn’t do archery because of an injury” because that taps into some issues I’m still coming to terms with!!

But basically, going through all of that—even just some of that!--impacts how you view yourself, how you move in the world, how you relate to other people, etc. she’s been through a lot! 

her age

this is probably where I differ from a lot of other kate writers and again, it’s probably just personal? Because lbr I project HARDCORE on to Kate, so seeing her as “my age” is kinda my go-to. I love the idea of teenage superheroes growing up and having to adult. And mentoring younger superheroes. And getting mad at the avengers for doing a TERRIBLE job of it.

dueling headcanons aside, keep in mind that Kate is young in relation to the Avengers, but old in relation to her team. For me, the age differences between her and her team influence how Kate sees herself as a leader/role model/etc. In the comics, it seems like Kate does better taking care of herself when she has other people to take care of or set a team-leader-y example for. If she’s on her own she is literally getting hit by cars and committing arson.

(Since we’re here tho I do think of the Young Avengers as Millennials, and for me that’s a very important part of the whys of them becoming superheroes. Because—stick with me here—based on their ages when they first showed up they all would have been….what, in like 3-7th grade on 9/11? Obviously I don’t know how old you are, or if you remember/were alive for 9/11 and the aftermath, but I can’t imagine that not influencing their desire to become superheroes, even if they don’t realize it themselves.) 

However you see Kate’s age, it’s important to think about how it influences how other people see her and how she sees herself within her team.

her team!

who kate is with a team and who she is without a team are VERY different things. if she’s with the Young Avengers for most of your story or working solo might affect how...for lack of a better phrase...how much of an on fire garbage can she is.

Kate loves her people. How does she relate to them? Who is she closest to? Why does she date people on her team? Is that a good idea?

For me, Kate and Eli’s relationship is always important, even if it doesn’t make it on screen, so to speak. That they both led the team, that he quit, that they dated—how do they relate to one another? Are they friends? Awkward exes? Are they working together?

Is the team on hiatus? Do they have a group chat? Is Kate everyone’s emergency contact? How much does she confide in them, or does she feel the need to be the Strong Team Leader at all times? How does that impact her friendships? How did losing Cassie affect her leadership style?

These are her friends! How do they impact her life?

she’s a badass

this might seem like a given, but seriously, kate is a total badass. She can dance and fence, she knows how to use swords and batons, she’s super strong and swole. She has canonically committed arson. I think it’s canon she has a photographic memory? She’s a small business owner. She loves explosives and military grade weapons thanks to Deadpool, who, canonically, thinks she is awesome. She’s good schmoozing, she’s good with people in general. She has a nemesis! She’s the captain of a spaceship! Kate Bishop is cool!!!!!!! even if she doesn’t know it. or act it. she’s awesome.

Other things to keep in mind:

Lots of people play with Kate’s race. What if she’s white? What if she’s Jewish? What if she’s Eastern European? What if she’s white and Japanese and Navajo? What does that say about her family? What was growing up like? How does being not-quite-white or white-but-the-wrong-kind-of-white or white-but-not-really change how she moves in the world? (for the record, I usually see Derek as run-of-the-mill white dude, so how does that impact her? How does that change the relationship he had with her mother?) I don’t always, and I don’t have the experience to do those stories justice a lot of the times, but I think race and religion are important to consider a bit when writing Kate. 

(particularly with the current US political climate, and who her friends are, it’s just really interesting to think about. Like, you KNOW Kate is at a BLM protest kicking a canister of tear gas back at the cops and literally putting her body between David and the pr*ud boys or whatever.)

Also? Kate has opposed registration of superheroes twice now. You could definitely lean into that and her political activism potential.

Kate has a sister.

Kate is sex-positive

Clint is a very important part of her life

She knows how to commit arson and blow stuff up, can probably speak several languages, is flexible and strong and VERY SMART and also somehow can’t figure out how to illegally download music. She’s a wonderful combo of intelligence and dumbassery. Don’t feel like you have to make her all one or the other!

Don’t feel like she needs to be straight. Or cis.

and of course, write the story you want to, or need to. I think Kate’s really great for that--she’s got the potential to be a lot of things to a lot of different people. what do you need her to be?

I hope this was informative and useful! i have no idea if it actually will be, or if it’s too much...me? let me know! and thank you for the ask!

[wyrmguardsecrets]

There's way more variety in roleplayers than just middle aged white ladies and neckbeards. There's also perpetually triggered pickme girls, catty young gays, alt right douchebags, cliquish artists, Millennials still playing what was originally their first Deviantart OC from Junior High, wokescolds, guys in the military who show up for ten minutes every other year between deployments, aging kinksters and the fuckbois that they groom, and people who are WAY too fucking invested in Night Elves.

.

[ryder616]

Rewatching Devils You Know

Good morning, Mr. Hunter, and welcome to F.A.I.L.E.D. (Failed Attempts In Liquidate Evil Douchebag). You’re joining an elite unit comprised of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s best and brightest. Please collect your new badge and the orientation package at the reception desk. You may want to pay special attention to the leaflet titled “I Blew It: 10 Ways to Deal with the Aftermath of Botched Assassinations and Irate Co-Workers”. 

Counting S1, this makes it seven times Ward could have died at the hands of one of our agents but didn’t:

Skye let him live when Mike gave him a heart attack.(1x20)

May chose to stop at a broken larynx and nailed foot.(1x22)

Fitz didn’t complete the asphyxia demonstration.(2x03)

Skye shot him and left him to bleed out but Kara saved him.(2x10)

Jemma threw him a splinter bomb but Bakshi butted in.(2x19)

May was going to hunt him down but Bobbi’s extraction took priority (/nudge Hunter).(2x22)

And now Hunter failed, too, after a dangerous undercover mission specifically aimed to rid the world of Grant Ward and almost sacrificing Andrew’s life for it. Which is especially grating because if you must put someone else in danger for a shot at revenge, the least you can do is having the decency to not miss. 😁

Still, Hunter can count himself lucky: Andrew is alive, May saved his ass at least twice in that 2 vs 11 showdown and she won’t kill him once they’re back on the base.

As for Ward, his own luck won’t last forever. 😈 😈 😈

Gonna Catch ‘Em All:

Shane and Lori Henson were a cute young couple that went through Terrigenis at Afterlife but never learned how to cook a chicken. And we will never learn what their powers actually did. He was floating and she was glowing red.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dwight Frye, “former programmer, serial online gamer and I.T. guy” was Lash’s...I.T. guy, helping him track the Afterlife Inhumans. His power must be one of the worst ever, identifying Inhumans by how sick proximity with them made him feel. With time he might have learned to control it so that it didn’t hurt him, just like Daisy and Lincoln have with theirs.

Stuff that crossed my mind:

The world sees us as a threat. We need to stick together, those of us who’ve been here before the Outbreak. I object to this choice of word. You guys are not an epidemic. Inhumans sorely needed a brand manager and a P.R. firm. 😁

Daisy, wait! Daisy! Damn it. What? Are you implying she shouldn’t run without backup after a dangerous monster who shakes off bullets and is specifically targeting Inhumans? Mack, don’t be absurd.

What about Daisy and Mack? They could use backup out there. -- I know you really want to get back into action, Agent Morse, but the answer's no. You’re still rehabbing. You haven’t passed the physical. That’s because it’s the wrong kind of physical, duh. Just wait for May, she’ll fix it.

How did I let you talk me into this? I had a garage, workbench full of new tools, my own espresso machine... Espresso is overrated anyway. 👀

I was gonna say "make little baby sharks," but then "Jaws" was probably 20 years before you were born, so...do I sense a low-key, Gen X vs Millennial pop culture clash?

[Mack hesitating to move forward] Well, do you want me to take point? You know, maybe you should. You’re the one with superpowers and you do make a smaller target...

Blue, not clear [the plastic bag for samples]. -- What? -- I said “blue”. Not “clear”. How many times am I...Okay, look, Simmons and I have created a system. “B” is for “blue” is for “biological sample”. -- Right, another system. And what’s the clear bag for? 🤔 Hang in there, Bob, this out of action torture is almost at an end.

[Simmons] open up to you at all about what happened to her? -- Not really. Why? Did she say something to you? -- No. Why don’t I believe you?

Stand down! Everybody, stand down! S.H.I.E.L.D.’s not the enemy, and you definitely don’t want to piss off the young Agent Johnson here. We’ve got about 19 Agent Johnsons on our side, though none can take down a building. And how do you know she can take down a building? Coulson? How much intel did you share with Rosalind? Maybe too much, eh? 😒

Are you gonna help or not? -- I like it when you get all tough. Is she flirting? What level does this warrant on the Philinda alert state, defcon 4?

New recruit brought you these [weapons]? -- Yeah. Same bloke who brought these took out Spud last week. He’s a tough bastard. You’re not exactly a softie yourself, Kebo. Didn’t Von Strucker Jr. hit you several times in the face with a laptop just 2 weeks ago? And here you stand, as despicable as ever.

So, what's the job? - Don't know. -- When's it going down? -- Don't know. -- Any idea where? -- Not yet. -- You do realize the point of intelligence gathering is to gather intelligence? 🤣 🤣 🤣

What if there are innocent lives at risk? -- There's always lives at risk! [...] If I have a shot at finding him, I'm taking it. -- Look, I want Ward as bad as you do. But I don’t think his life is worth yours or Bobbi’s. Which she proved in 2x22. Sadly, Hunter doesn’t feel the same way (other than in Bobbi’s case, obviously).

It’s okay to struggle, to feel uncomfortable in your own skin. -- I’m not one of your Inhuman patients, Dr. Garner. Funny you’d say that.

You’re safe now, Jemma. It’s over. -- You’re wrong. *dun dun dun*

And how many more like her are you hiding? -- That's not what we're doing. -- These people have problems! I'm not just gonna turn a blind eye and rubber-stamp them for your new team. Would this qualify as lashing out? 😏

What happened with you two? -- The reason Andrew left me had nothing to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. It's about me. Always has been. -- You're too hard on yourself. QFT.

I had a great time. -- So did I, until you fell off the face of the Earth. No calls, no texts. -- That had nothing to do with you. -- Please, don't give me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. Well, but it is him and not you. 😢

How did the ATCU not track him? He's one of their own. He's a government employee. -- You think the ATCU knew about him? -- Worse. What if they're running him? -- I think the conspiracy nut in you had a few too many lattes this morning.  🤣 Like probably every morning, doesn’t mean she’s wrong, being suspicious of the ATCU.

There's that first-name thing again...it's a dead giveaway. I mean, don't feel bad. She's sharp, attractive, head of a big, shady organization. -- I don’t like where this is going. -- You think I do? I would have pegged you for a Meldrew shipper more than Philinda at this stage, Daisy. Though I suppose the part where Rosalind is heading the shady organization tasked to “deal” with the “alien outbreak” can’t exactly endear her to you.

Be careful. It’s got a laser finger. Yes, Rosalind, he’s a dork. That’s why we love him.

You guys don't get it. You should be helping him, not hunting him. [...] Do you think he likes doing what he's doing? He doesn't. Ever since I turned, I feel like my skin is on fire and there's a jackhammer in my head. I wake up thinking that the pain will go away but it doesn't. The only thing that helps is when Lash does his thing, sends us freaks back to where we belong. I didn't want this. And I know I'm not the only one. Daisy must be loving it, hearing all this. 😥

Do you really have a laser finger? -- Sorry. It’s classified. And now he‘s flirting? Defcon 3?

He's driving me nuts, you know? The other day, he snapped at me just because I put a bio sample into a clear specimen bag. -- Clear? Well, "B" is for "blue" is for "biological”. You’re not winning this one, Bobbi.

Oh, I ain’t getting in the bloody boot! It stinks of rotten bananas in there. [...] Always in the bloody boot. Given it’s Kebo’s or Hydra’s car, I’m now (uncomfortably) wondering whether dead humans smell like rotten bananas. And Hunter has of course already had the pleasure of riding into a car boot way back in 2x02, courtesy of a pair of Talbot’s underlings.

I feel like we're driving in circles. -- I bet we are. Probably buying time for Mr.Banks [...] -- so he could get rid of anything "Roz" doesn't want us to see. -- Yeah, that, or he's prepping a cell for you. -- It's his funeral. Scoffing in the face of detainment (or worse). I can see why Mack misses his espresso machine.

You got a concussion, separated your shoulder. So of course he gets up and takes off his sling. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, I swear 🙄 🤣 

What’s up, D.? Second time in the episode Mack called her “D”. For the record and because I have a tiny tiny hope that a certain episode title for S7 refers to them, though I’ll probably be disappointed as usual. 😔 

I saw something. And I'm not sure, but I don't think Lash is just some great white shark. I think he can turn into a person. -- Wait a minute. You’re telling me that you saw him transform into a regular guy? I know this is important, too, but isn’t it even more curious that he didn’t even attempt to kill Daisy, Mack? Mull it over. And file it away for future reference.

May and Hunter have a lead on Ward. Sounds like a dodgy situation...Wait. They didn't tell you? I'm sorry. It's tough when people keep things from you. Reminder that Fitz wasn’t told the real reason Jemma left nor that Ward was in the basement.

I was hoping you were dead and Bobbi was coming for me. At least that rematch would have been more even. -- Hardly. I heard it took two of you after hours of torture. Indeed. Under normal circumstances, Bobbi would wipe the floor with anyone who doesn’t have combat-worthy superpowers or is not named May.

How many did you count? -- Eleven, including Ward. I’ve taken out five. -- Slow day? I’ll say, she didn’t even reach 50 %. 😁

Watching [Andrew] die like this isn't quite the same as, oh, let's say, holding the woman you love in your arms while she breathes her last breath. But, hey, it's the best I could do on such short notice. Don’t be modest, it’s a good plan. Please die soon. *counts the episodes he has left*. Right. Not soon enough.😩

He has a warehouse full of guns here that I brought him. A lot of people will die, May. Nice try, but nobody buys that you’re thinking of the “greater good” in this moment, Hunter.

Something happened to me, Fitz, on the other side. It's time I told you the truth about everything. Time to enable the blue light filter! 😁