#mike wouldn’t have said it without will and he doesn’t even get appreciation

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 11

Heeyyy...look at that! Another chapter of this story just a scant few days after part 10.

I'm putting this one out first because I finished a chapter for it first and it's always first come first post in this house.

I am little concerned that not putting these out like I should has severely hurt engagement (god I hate that word but it's accurate) for these stories. This one and werewolf Steve didn't even get out of the 50s in the notes. Metal band Steve did a little better I think because it's the Nancy chapters and people were really into those on WIP Wednesdays.

But if you guys don't want to post these let me know, I have dozens of other ideas that are just chomping at the bit to be written.

In this chapter Steve deals with Robin with mixed results.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

~

Eddie found the YOU RULE/YOU SUCK board hilarious. As did most of their friends, only Jeff was on Steve’s side.

“He is sacrificing his dignity for Eddie’s comfort,” Jeff pointed out, “a little appreciation wouldn’t go amiss.”

Eddie wrapped his arms around the pouting Steve. “It just means it’s working.”

“She’s openly mocking me and you guys are having a giggle about it.” Steve didn’t push him off him but he didn’t return the hug either.

The smile slipped off Eddie’s face and he gently lifted Steve’s chin. “I didn’t realize it was hurting you that bad, Stevie. It wasn’t meant to be malicious.”

Steve nodded but didn’t say a word. He pinched his nose and rubbed the end.

“Hey, hey,” Eddie said, leaning down to look up at him. “We’ll stop.” He turned to Brian and Gareth. “Won’t we guys?”

Gareth and Brian shared a glance.

“Yeah,” Brian agreed. “We’re really sorry. It was meant in good fun.”

Gareth let out a sigh. “You know,” he said scratching his chin thoughtfully, “it is a pretty shitty thing for her to do. Like, she’s always so hostile to Steve when we go and get ice cream there. Not to us, just him. It’s almost like she doesn’t believe we’re actually friends with him.”

Brian and Eddie shared a shocked glance.

“Holy shit,” Brian hissed. “I don’t think I ever noticed.” He looked over at Steve. “What did you want us to do, man? Because she shouldn’t be allowed to keep harassing you like that.”

“Oh,” Steve said softly. He hadn’t been expecting them to want to go to bat for him, let alone ask him what he wanted them to do.

Normally Carol and Tommy H. would just retaliate if they did anything at all.

“It’s okay, guys,” he promised. “I just didn’t want to be teased mercilessly for it. She thinks I’m too dim to notice her eye rolls and sneers and then play it up in front of customers when they notice.”

Gareth burst out laughing. “That’s hilarious.”

~

“Harrington!” Robin called out. “There is someone named Henderson out here to see you!”

Steve came barreling out of the back. “Henderson is here?!”

They did their dorky little handshake that left Steve ‘dead’ on the floor. He bounced back up and hugged Dustin tightly.

“Just how many children are you friends with, Harrington?” Robin snarked, leaning back against the counter with haughty expression.

Dustin raised an eyebrow. “You’ve seen Mike and them?” he asked Steve.

Steve frowned and tilted his head to the side in confusion. “Why? Is something wrong?”

Dustin just shrugged and looked away. Steve frown deepened and he put his arm around the boy.

“Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll make you a banana split and you can tell me about it over ice cream?”

Dustin nodded and went to go sit down.

Steve turned around to see Robin smirking at him. “What’s that look for? It’s my lunch break.”

She rolled her eyes but slid away. Steve shook his head and went about making Dustin’s “Banana Boat” as it was called on their stupid little menu. He got it made but led Dustin out of the shop to one of the tables out in the food court so that the kid could feel like he could talk without judgment.

“So what’s up?” he asked as they slid into booth just across from Scoops Ahoy.

Dustin poked at his ice cream. “The guys were supposed to meet up with me yesterday after I got home and they didn’t.”

Steve felt that like stone sinking into his stomach. He knew what it was like to be ghosted by people you trusted. “Hey, maybe they just forgot. You know what airheads they are without you.”

Dustin snorted, but the mood lightened and Steve counted that as a win.

“Tell me about your camp,” he said. “You must have a lot of fun.”

Dustin lit up and started talking about the camp and all the things he learned. “But the best part was Suzie. She’s from Utah. Dude, she is so hot.”

Steve blinked at the other boy in confusion. There were girls at this nerd camp? “Hot, huh?”

His answering grin was blinding. “Hell, yeah. Even hotter than Phoebe Cates, man.”

Steve knew what the answer to that should be. And before he met Eddie, he would have said it instinctively. But now he wasn’t sure what he was going to tell him. So he just nodded, lips pursed tightly in a thin line.

“Her name is Suzie Bingham,” Dustin barreled on without noticing Steve’s obvious discomfort. “Kissing her is great. Though apparently kissing without teeth is better. Who knew?”

Steve was glad his lips were already pressed into a fine line because he would have burst out laughing. “Yeah, who would have thought.”

“So that co-worker of yours isn’t too hard on the eyes,” Dustin said wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

Where the fuck did this kid get lines like that? Jesus H. Christ! Oh. Oh, yeah. Him. He gave Dustin those lines. Before he met Eddie and found out the reason he had to work so hard with girls is that he was gay. Who knew?

“She is not my type,” he answered truthfully. “She’s mean, and a little weird and absolute nerd.”

She was too.

Dustin rolled his eyes. “When are you going to start realizing that high school hierarchy is a bullshit social construct?”

Steve tapped his lips thoughtfully. “Who does that saying remind me of?” He hummed for a moment as the kid glared at him. “Oh I know! Eddie! You know, the guy that befriended me when everyone else abandoned me? That guy! I think I know better than you what is and what isn’t a ‘social construct’, twerp.”

Dustin cocked his head back and forth, sticking his tongue out and making mocking noises. “I’m just saying that you should snap her up before someone else does.”

Not for the first time and certainly not the last, Steve briefly thought about telling this kid his sexuality at least. He wouldn’t even have to bring Eddie into it at all, he could just tell the butthead that he liked men and to leave Robin out of this.

Which he really needed to do, just maybe not in an overly populated mall on a hot day in the height of summer, though.

“Whatever, dude,” Steve said, shaking his head ruefully and rolling his eyes. “Look, I’ve got get back to work. I’ll catch you later.”

~

“Just how many children do you have, Harrington?” Robin asked when he got back. “Because seriously. There are actual hoards of them running around.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Erica is a force of nature that cannot be contained. She comes with her own hoard. I am not responsible for her or friends. They scare me.”

Robin was about to say something mocking, but she had seen that little girl in action and actually secretly agreed with him on that one. “And the others?”

Steve took a deep breath and started counting off on his fingers. “There are the girls, Max and El. El’s dad is super strict about her being about. Max is a recent addition and could out bitch god and I love her for it. Then there’s ‘the Party’,” he put air quotes around ‘the Party’, “Dustin, whom you just met and the other three shitheads trying to get into movies free. Lucas, Mike, and Will.”

“And you are responsible for all of them?” she asked, eyes wide.

Steve threw back his head and laughed. “God no, at least not outside of being their babysitter, anyway.”

Robin slid up to the counter and leaned over it. She clasped her hands together and stared at him intently. “You mean to tell me that there are actual honest to God parents that allow you the sole custody of their child for a few hours?”

He rolled his eyes and ignored her, going to the back to clock back in from his lunch.

“Come on, Harrington!” Robin called. “You have to admit it’s hard to believe that King Steve, Keg King, Mr. Big House, No Parents actually watching kids. You know that right?”

Steve threw open the window shutters, and pounded his fist on the counter. “Look, I really don’t care what you think, you’ve obviously got a grudge against me or whatever. We don’t have to like each other or hell, even get along. But can you cut the bullshit, please?”

She opened and closed her mouth, stuttering and stammering, before she nodded.

“Thank you.”

~

When Eddie came to pick Steve up from work, Robin was eyeing him suspiciously.

“Hey, Eds,” Steve greeted. “Just let me grab my stuff and change. I am sticky all over.”

“Awww,” Eddie cooed. “You look cute in those shorts, Stevie!”

“Oh ha,” he grumbled. “I am coated in every flavor of ice cream, sauce, syrup, and topping we have today. If there was hose back there, I’d spray down my shoes. They’re gross.”

“And I know how much you care about those little blue sneakers of yours,” Eddie said with a chuckle. “Go. Get changed. I’ll be waiting at one of the tables.”

Steve nodded and made his way to the back. As soon as he was gone, Robin looked over her shoulder to make sure Steve had really gone to the back. She hurried over to the table where Eddie had sat down and sat across from him.

“I’ve got to know,” she whispered. “What blackmail does Harrington have on you to make him hang out with him?”

Eddie reared his head back and then tilted it. “You want to say that again? I don’t think I heard you right.”

“Come on, Munson,” she said. “People like us don’t hang around people like him. So what has he got that would make you keep coming back.”

Eddie’s mouth nearly ruined everything by blurting out a big dick! But thankfully he managed to stop himself in time. “I guess that depends on what you mean by people like us.”

Robin rolled her eyes. “Poor, nerdy, musicians, freaks and weirdos.”

He forced out a breath and then another. He thought that she was going to say queer in that list and then he really would have opened his big mouth.

“And I know the band teacher forced you to pit for the school musical, Buckley,” Eddie growled. “He fought hard for that part and almost got a bucket of water dumped on him for his troubles. He was at Hellfire’s table during lunch. I know the reason he changed, but have no doubt he has.”

He knocked on the table and stood up. “I won’t say I don’t get the impulse to rag on the guy, but he’s one of ours now.”

Just then Steve came out and Eddie walked out with him without a word to Robin.

~

Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

Tag List: NINE SLOTS REMAINING

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @blondie1006

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades

7- @mugloversonly @y4r3luv @greeniebean911 @birbsauce @acingthecounts

8- @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @dreamercec @sadisticaltarts

9- @clockworkballerina

[talesofliia]

Deciphering the Will-El-Mike Love Triangle: A Personal Perspective

I stopped liking Mileven as a couple way before I started shipping Byler, and the reason had nothing to do with Will, actually.

As someone who appreciates both El’s and Mike’s characters, I firmly believe they were always meant to be friends. They care deeply about each other, but their relationship has felt forced for a very long time. The main reason I stopped liking them as a couple is that I didn’t like how Mike treated El at the beginning of S3, which led El to “dump his ass.” Subconsciously, Mike believed he knew what was better for her and, without realizing it, hindered her from developing her own personality. Also, he wasn’t always good to her in S1 when he used her to find Will and snapped at her a few times. Don’t get me wrong – Mike is not a bad person, and he did many good things for El, but they simply didn’t seem to work as a couple. All they did when things went well was kiss and make out. They didn’t have any common interests or things to talk about, only the Upside Down-related adventures. This is one of the reasons I find their couple boring: when physical attraction is the only thing keeping you romantically interested in someone, it won’t last.

I watched all four seasons as a GA member, and my opinion is based on what I saw from this show. I didn’t even think about Will when considering El and Mike initially – this is just something I noticed when watching the show. Yes, I suspected Will had feelings for Mike since S3 came out but didn’t think they could possibly be reciprocated at that time. My initial thought was, “Aww, poor Will, I feel bad for him.” This thought only strengthened after watching S4. My love for Will as a character grew, and I felt a protective instinct towards him (much like Joyce, haha), but he is not the reason I think Mileven doesn’t work. Observing El and Mike’s relationship in S4 only made me like them as a couple even less. I don’t think Mike was scared of saying “I love you” just because he felt worthless and was afraid of losing her. I think there’s something deeper than that. Otherwise, why did the season finish with El being annoyed at him after his “brilliant” monologue? And let's not forget the reason why Mike finally said he loved El and who pushed him to do that.

I also believe that both El and Mike are incredible characters and their own heroes, but they just don’t bring out the best in each other. El does need someone to care for her and make her feel loved, but she needs a familial kind of love much more than a romantic one. And she has always needed people who would love her no matter what and wouldn’t make her feel like she can only be loved if she’s a “superhero.” She needs someone who would love her regardless of whether she has her powers or not. And she needs someone with whom she would still be independent and her own person. And I don’t think Mike is right for her in this respect.

Likewise, I don’t think El can give Mike what he needs. He doesn’t just want someone to kiss and make out with; he needs more than that. He needs someone who would share his hobbies and interests; someone who would understand him without saying a word; someone who is simply there for him and is always willing to support him; someone who makes him feel loved no matter what. I don’t think that El and Mike can love each other romantically under any circumstances. I think they started a relationship with their ideal images of each other in mind but later struggled because they felt they both didn’t live up to each other’s perfect images of themselves. And that’s what makes this relationship doomed to fail.

And then, you know what happened? It suddenly dawned on me, shedding light on many things I hadn’t quite understood at the beginning. It was that kind of moment when you think, “Oh, so that’s why! It has always been there but it took me so long to figure it out!”

There is exactly the kind of person in the series that can make Mike feel loved the way he wants to. The character that shares his interests and hobbies and is always there for him. The one that loves Mike unconditionally and is always ready to sacrifice his own feelings just to make his love feel better about himself, feel worthy and needed. This character has been there all along, and this character’s name is – you guessed it right – Will. And I wouldn’t be saying all of this if I believed Mike was totally straight, and could never love Will the way the latter loves him.

From the very first season, the show makes it clear that Mike and Will’s relationship is not the same as the one boys their age usually have (compare it to Lucas and Dustin’s, for example). We are both told and shown that Mike cares about Will much deeper than anyone else in their circle of friends, and he’s the one who was losing his mind, thinking he had lost Will but nevertheless never stopped looking. Mike is someone who’s always been ready to do anything for Will, to be there for him when he had nightmares and was possessed, and bike to him through the storm just to apologize for hurting his feelings. Mike has always cared about Will very deeply, and even though with time the societal pressures forced him to set some boundaries of what is allowed between two male friends, Mike often “slipped” and demonstrated his gentleness and attentiveness towards Will. The way he often looks at Will and the things he says to him when they’re alone make me believe he has feelings for him even more. He may not fully realize them yet, he may be confused about those feelings, and he may certainly convince the GA that he’s straight, but those feelings are there and just haven’t come out yet. He needs time to understand himself better and feel ready to acknowledge his feelings.

And returning to El, I strongly believe that her arc is leaning towards independence. She desperately needs to break free from everything and everyone that has been holding her back, to start living for herself at last and become her own person. This is how she can finally get her happy ending. And I think that Mike-friend can help her achieve that much better than Mike-boyfriend. As Max implied, El needs to discover herself without thinking about what her loved ones want her to be, and this is the right way for her character to develop. El is amazing and deserves happiness, as do Will and Mike.

Please note that this is my personal opinion and the impression I got from watching the show. You’re completely free to disagree with me and have a totally different perspective. If you ship Mileven or dislike Byler, simply move on. I’m sharing my thoughts here for those who I know will support them, and I’m not here to engage in ship wars. I’m not going to interact with you if you’re here to spit bile and troll those who don’t have the same opinion as you. Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk. :)

[bylrlve]

403-404 thoughts

(Prev post here)

Murray’s prophecy of the kids playing too much Nintendo, eating too much junk food, smoking some ganja, pounding some beers, and experimenting sexually is actually eerily accurate. Nintendo, as @gayofthefae brilliantly observed, has been equated to the Nina project. Eating junk food? The boys presumably survived on the (quickly cold) pizzas and the sodas Argyle delivered to their house - and if they stopped at gas stations… these boys would have little to no money on their persons, so junk is all they could really afford, one assumes. Smoking ganja? Jon and Argyle. Pounding beers? Not the Cali gang, but Lucas did.

Experimenting sexually? No one has sex during s4 - Jopper makeout but that’s hardly experimenting, and certainly not for adults, and he was specifically talking about the kids. None of them are in the mood for it, naturally, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this is foreshadowing… something between a certain pair of boys. It couod be a cheeky reference to Will growing into his sexuality but, and forgive my crudeness here, right-hand solo sex doesn’t really fit, especially since he was talking about Jonathan, El, Mike, and Will as a group, implying a plural. In fact, this scene takes place directly after El and Mike fight, and after she is arrested. Experimenting is a very loaded word…

Never fails to get me how Mike just threw her last letter into the trash - it had already been explained that he may not see her for months, and here he is, treating her last missive to him with such disrespect. This attitude isn’t even new - he crumpled up and tossed aside the letter she’d painstakingly written and drawn rainbow designs on in the opening minutes. Meanwhile… there are Funko Pops of him proudly showing off the new painting Will made for him.

“You’re packed already?” “Yeah, I mean, I never really unpacked.” is the most blatantly subtext-ridden thing to come out of Mike’s mouth all season, and it’s the biggest piece of in-verse proof that he was fronting hard during 402 - and that was the lovey-doviest he was with El.

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate Mike saying that home isn’t home without Will? Fuck the monologue, that is the most romantic thing Mike says all season.

@bylertruth3r made the above video, showing the eerily similarity between the Byler 404 reunion and a scene in 13 Reasons Why - and this scene was originally scripted as Mike coming up to Will kneeling oj the ground, meaning it was conceived as them being much closer together.

I don’t think we appreciate, enough, that Mike monologued to Will in this scene. Not only are Jasons’s ily to Chrissy at the pep rally, Jancy’s ilys, Argyle and Eden’s LAFS, Max’s saving herself from Vecna with flashbacks, and Dustin’s ILY to Eddie all contrasts to the Mike monologue sequence in 409… but this is, too. Here are Mike’s three big monologues lain out:

"El? I don't know if you can hear this, but... but if you can, I want you to know I'm here, okay? I'm right here. And... I love you. El, do you hear me? I love you. I'm sorry I don't say it more. I... It's not because I'm scared of you. I'm not. I've never felt that way. Never. But I am scared that one day you'll realize you don't need me anymore. And I thought if I said how I felt, it would somehow make that day hurt more. But the truth is, El, I don't know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods. You were wearing that yellow Benny's Burgers T-shirt. And it was so big it almost swallowed you whole. And I knew right then and there, in that moment, that I loved you. And I've loved you every day since. I love you on your good days. I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero. And... I can't lose you. Okay? Do you hear me? I can't lose you. You can do anything. You can fly. You can move mountains. I believe that. I really do. But right now, you just have to fight. Okay? El. Do you hear me? You need to fight! You have to fight. Fight!” Tearing up, not crying.

“Do you remember the first day that we met? It was… it was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends. And I just felt so alone, and so scared, but… I saw you on the swings, and you were alone too,. You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you, and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“Hey also, about the last few days… No, no, no. You didn’t deserve anything. Listen, the truth is… the last year has been weird, you know. And I mean, Max and Lucas and Dustin… they’re great, they’re great, itd just… it’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know. I feel like I… lost you, or something. I have no idea what’s going to happen next. But whatever it is, I think we should work together. I think it’ll be easier if we’re a team. Best friends. Cool.”

Some quick observations:

1 and 2 occur under near-identical circumstances - El and Will are under Vecna’s control and he’s trying to give them strength. 3 is entirely unprompted. The first occurs under a level of duress similar to that of a gun being held to El’s head, as gayofthefae observes here

The rain fight is all over the s4 bedroom scene, and it’s very clearly on both of their minds. Mike has spent the past nine months addressing every criticism of Will’s - he’s friends with Dusfin, he’s playing D&as, he only kissed El when she initiated, and broke it quickly, and he even got angry at Lucas for prioritising others over the Party - although his complaint, unlike Will’s, was irrational and unfair. He relapsed at the airport and roller rink by trying to be normal, but this scene is him course-correcting for that. Mike’s calling himself a self-pitying idiot and thanking Will for being sensible is likelt not only referring to the earlier scene in Will’s room, but to the S3 and 402 fights. If that is the intention, it makes one wonder what Mike was self-pitying about in the latter. @howtobecomeadragon discusses it in-depth here

Right from my very first watch, the proposal imagery in the s2 speech - ‘I walked up to you, and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my _, and you said yes… you said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.’ - jumped out at me. M*levens regularly theorise that the series will end with Mike and El either getting married, or engaged, citing that Lucas line from s1 as foreshadowing - but we see in s3 that Mike relies on Lucas to push him through every stage of the apology, while he doesn’t with Will, and we see bouquet imagery subverted with that gift of flowers at the airport (see below).

TOO MUCH? Mike spent the s3-4 break backsliding in the whole ‘say ILY to El’ plot… but did address the problems Will had with him. Not only that… he came to the conclusion that he worried too much about El? Specifically because he lost Will as a result? I said in the previous post that Bylers don’t talk enough about “Who… who said that I didn’t?” We definitely don’t talk enough about the anti-m*leven implications of this line, because they’re bonkers. Mike worries a lot about El when she’s away at Nina, but at home he’s distinctly distant from her -

while only drawing closer to Will

This is how he looked at Will during the 404 monologue btw: (gif credit to @palettehao and gayofthefae)

Lastly, I’ll finish this analysis post by swinging back to 402, and to the fact that Mike picking that bouquet? It doesn’t make much sense, timeline-wise. In fact, I honestly can’t figure out when he picked them.

Mike only says, on March 22, that he picked them ‘in Hawkins’ before launching into a nervous, distracting spiel about picking 70:30 purple to yellow, only maybe he picked too much yellow*, etc.

On the morning of March 21 he was still in his underwear reading over a letter to El, and was delayed going to with. He had classes at school, and was preoccupied during lunch bargaining with Eddie, bargaining wi5 various students, and finally bargaining with Erica. Between school and Hellfire he could plausibly have picked them, but that would have required cycling across town and back, when Nancy drove him to school - he didn’t have his bike at school. He also had nowhere to put them, except the backpack that presumably had school supplies in it - those flowers would not have looked so fresh had he shoved them in a backpack. Dustin also doesn’t mention him being gone prior to Hellfire. After hellfire, he went home to be there by 9 - he had to have done, otherwise he wouldn’t have been allowed on the flight.

His flight was at 6:30 and Indiana -> Cali takes 4 hrs 10 minutes. He would have been awake from very early in the morning with Karen, gathering his stuff, and then driving to the airport with adequate time to check-in and board the plane. There isn’t a hope in hell of Karen letting him randomly cycle across town in the dark for an undetermined length of time just to pick some fucking flowers, lmao. There is a strong chance, however, that Karen, the romantic, let him buy flowers and a pen in the Indianapolis airport before boarding the flight. Maybe she even purchased them.

The kicker? The bouquet of flowers had a fancy, polished-looking greeting card attached, one professionally made.

There is something deliciously meta about those flowers. M*levens have adopted yellow and purple as a symbol of the relationship - even though Mike only wore those colours to please her when he was being ‘hokey’ and a ‘knock-off’, to quote Argyle and the costume designer. I’m not even sure El truly favours those colours, as she doesn’t wear them much and doesn’t have any notable items in those colours. For all we know, she was asked if she had any favourite colours and simply picked two that came to mind.

What’s more, it seems very likely that Mike simply lied to her about putting in the effort of getting them himself, and instead relied on something pre-made and commercial. It isn’t impossible that he picked them, however (though the timing is a mystery) - we are shown at the end of the season that the field outside Hopper’s cabin has very similar flowers. But those… well… those have their own implications

*talk about subtext lmao…

To finish, I want to share a delicious finding from @sapphicjopper on twitter from last may - the working name for st4 was Tareco. There’s a song called Tareco & Mariola, all about a girl who knows her lover isn’t right for her, who knows that she doesn’t need him, and who is leaving him - ‘it’s not you who will give me the spring, the beautiful flowers I dreamed of in summer’. It’s reminiscent of the opera Nina - about a woman waiting for her lover, not accepting that he won’t return and be how she desperately wants him to be.

[thranduel]

they wanted mike and el to be together? fine.

they wanted them to have a relationship where they constantly lie and can't be themselves with each other? fine.

they wanted to introduce a storyline where they argue because mike can't say he loves her? fine.

they wanted mike to end up saying he loves her during a monologue? fine.

they could've easily done all of this WITHOUT involving will and messing with his feelings, but they didn't.

they could’ve avoided making will be in love with mike since the beginning, but they didn’t.

they could've given will a different love interest (and i mean a proper, well-developed character who was introduced a long time ago, not some random person in the last season that we barely know) and let him have at least one moment of peace and happiness while being in love, but they didn't.

they could've made mike and el sort out their own relationship problems themselves and actually communicate with each other properly and have a healthy relationship instead of constantly lying to each other, but they didn't.

they could’ve avoided using a gay child’s feelings and heartbreak to push another ship back together, but they didn’t.

they could’ve avoided including will in EVERY single mike and el scene (except their big fight in 4x03), but they didn’t.

they could've made it 100% clear that byler wasn’t happening instead of keeping it ambiguous with so many unanswered questions, hyping it up and teasing it, dragging it out and giving people hope, but they didn't. (and no, mike telling el he loved her doesn’t confirm that byler can’t happen. he lied throughout the entire monologue and only said it because of will’s confession and painting and because he was under pressure and trying to save her. will put a false image of el into mike’s head and convinced him that she needed him and that he doesn’t make her feel like a mistake, but we know that isn’t true. el literally told mike she felt like a monster because of him just a few episodes ago during their big fight when he couldn’t even tell her he loved her while she was crying. then she made the decision to leave him even though owens warned her she might not see him again. el doesn’t need mike, will does. will was talking about himself the entire time in that scene. that’s why mike needs to find out the painting and monologue was from will because it’ll change everything).

they've already done too much now and they can't just suddenly go back and say "haha so we just took advantage of a gay character’s suffering for extra drama and used his feelings for mike as a plot device and turned him into a couple's therapist for mike and el. but guess what? he's going to end up lonely and suffer again, like he does every season, instead of ending up happy with the boy he’s loved for most of his life". nope. absolutely not.

they chose to involve a young gay child who has been suffering his entire life after being abused, bullied, outcasted, excluded, kidnapped and possessed. they chose to make will be in love with mike from the very BEGINNING and then forced him to watch him start dating someone else right in front of him (and to make things worse, mike couldn't even remain a good friend to him?? he completely changed. he started excluding him and pushing him to the side because he can't even be himself with his own girlfriend. this isn't healthy or fair to anyone involved). then they chose to introduce will's love for mike directly in season 4 with will's car monologue, the painting and all the other scenes where they're staring at each other with heart eyes. noah has also confirmed will has been in love with mike since the beginning. it's not a little crush. he's not confused. will byers is gay and has been IN LOVE with mike wheeler since the beginning. he even told him that he will ALWAYS need him. they also chose to use will's painting and feelings for mike as a plot device to force mike into telling his own girlfriend he loves her because he couldn't even say it (or write it on paper) when she was crying and begging to hear it. there was no reason to do all of this unless it’s intentional and going to be brought up again.

if this doesn't end up with mike finding out the car monologue and painting was from will so that he ends up realising his own feelings for him AND we find out he was struggling with repressed feelings and internalised homophobia (which would explain his weird behaviour towards will, like not being able to hug him at the airport), then all of this would be so cruel and unnecessary. it would just be horrible writing too because mike has had no character development at all, constantly lies and contradicts himself and has been reduced to el’s boyfriend. it’s also disgusting if they used a gay character’s suffering and heartbreak for “extra drama” and to force another ship back together.

if they wanted mike and el to stay a couple, they should’ve never brought will into this.

[mk-wizard]

Hellboy Films: Why animated did better than live action

Hello, friends

Many of you may not know this, but out of all the superhero comics, Hellboy is my favourite. What can I say? As a little girl, I was a misfit, so a misfit hero like Hellboy was right up my alley and the concept of someone being born to be bad to turn out so good because he had a loving father to show him the way is beautiful. My introduction to Hellboy was the first live action film in the 2000s and at the time, I liked it, but then I started reading the comics. Once I got to know the real Hellboy and series, the more I fell in love with the comics yet at the same time, the more I go to not like the live action films and not just because I found the sequel and reboot in 2019 bad. There are many problems with the three live action Hellboy films which rub me the wrong way and not simply because they are live action. Most superheroes started off as cartoon drawings, but were well done in live action, but Hellboy missed all the notes. Now as a mature adult woman who is experienced at storytelling as well as analyzing, I rewatched some of the live action and I took time to watch the animated films. The difference in quality is night and day (no pun intended and I will give links to the animated films because they are stunning). I will now tell you all where the animated films went right and how live action went all wrong.

1- Hellboy’s design was better in the animated films. - I am more than willing to be forgiving when it comes to taking artistic liberties. Sometimes, the results can be beautiful, but in the case live action Hellboy, it was all wrong and I have to blunt, we can do so much better with graphic design now than just simply taking a tall buff man, putting make up and props on him. I hate sounding mean, but both versions just look like a guy wearing a cosplaying as Hellboy. It would have been much better if Hellboy was completely and entirely CGI or perhaps even an elaborate puppet costume like the ones used in the Jim Henson films. It may sound like enough to give the hero red skin, a stone hand, horns, a tail, cloven feet (which are covered), amber eyes, pointed ears and be very tall. He STILL looks too human compared to the comic and compared to what movie makers can do, it’s lackluster.

Now, we turn to the animated version which did more than just the obvious. Hellboy isn’t inhuman looking just because of the said traits before. He is inhuman because of his proportions and shape especially his face. It is a confirmed fact that he is not just not human. He is ugly and animalistic looking. His features are the combination of a satyr and gorilla especially when you look at how thin his legs, jaw, shoulders, posture and so on.  Also, his eyes aren’t just amber. He has no pupils, no schlera (the white part) and no irises. The entire eye is nothing, but amber which makes them disturbing to look at. He cannot simply cover his face, tail and hand, then simply blend in. He cannot even wear most human clothes hence why Hellboy is always shirtless and his hooves are exposed. In other words, animated Hellboy looks like Hellboy.

2- The animated plot was clean, to the point with no filler. - While I admit the first live action film kept it pretty simple, I find that it still had a lot of filler and too much subplot. If you ever read a Hellboy comic, you will know right off the bat that Mike Mignola is a master at the art of pacing without fluff. Yes, he respect that character development and buildup takes time, but he doesn’t drag things. Ever. And he does not make everything so angsty either. Yes, he hints that the characters have issues, trauma, emotional pain and at times, depression, but he did so without making them into whiners. For the most part, the cast and hero would pick themselves up and do what they had to like adults. If anything, they were also each other’s emotional support and they don’t hate people. The animated version captured that completely and even showed us that the cast did not consist of malcontents who played the “poor me” card to death. In the beginning of Blood and Iron, Abe, Liz and Hellboy were happily talking about a bakery they had found once which reminds us that with all their hardships they do seek and accept joy in life even from something as simple as good pastries.

Moreover, the plot of the film was to the point with some amount of subplots, but without getting complicated and without the subplots contradicting each other. Everything had a way of coming together neatly and even though we did sometimes get surprises, they didn’t feel like filler. They felt like things that were always there, but now, we are aware of them. Most importantly, there was no cheap or silly selling point tactics like relationship drama or the stereotypical father-son bickering (more on this later). Hellboy is not that kind of story.

3- The subtle messages and morals in the animated films were deeper and better. - Being the mature adult I am now, I can say that the first Hellboy really was just Beauty and the Beast while using the Hellboy cast instead and it presented in the message in all of the outdated and bad ways. Don’t get me wrong, I find the idea of Hellboy falling in love romantic and I admit that underneath all of the darkness and action, everything about Hellboy comes back to love. However, it is not romantic love where the end all be all is to be accepted by humanity by getting into a relationship with a human, then turning into a handsome prince even if only metaphorically. The deeper and more important kind of love Hellboy tries to teach is self love how you are regardless how strange people deem you. If you have done something with your life and made something of yourself, then it is ok to be you and are already more loved than you realize. The other kind of love that has always been important to the series is family unity. You see, Hellboy, Liz and Abe are like siblings to each other and Prof. Bruttenholm is an incredibly loving father figure to all of them namely Hellboy who he raised since he was a baby.

He made the big red guy into the man he is today. In fact, even as an adult, Hellboy and Bruttenholm are a very sweet and kind father and son duo. They are not at each other’s throats, they don’t snark at each other or are incapable of agreeing on anything. There is no spite, there is no anger, there is no resentment and there is no ingratitude. There is only love and honestly, THIS is the love that ought to be showcased more in the films.

With that all said and done, the animated films also had their subtle deep messages which we not only understand clearly, but we also appreciate more. In the first movie Sword of Storms, it was all about finding a balance between persevering and knowing when to let go. In other words, keep doing what you must if it is still relevant and making a difference, but if it isn’t and is the reason you’re stuck, by all means quit. There are many roads to closure. In the second one Blood and Iron, it was clear from the beginning that the message was to not underestimate the elderly. They may not be as strong as they once were, but their experience and wisdom gets them and you out of tough spots. They have been through everything before and know what to do. By all means, aid them and help them, but don’t treat them like helpless babies. I also have to say that when I look at the messages the two animated films were telling us, they are not only clearer, but pretty underrated ones too. In the case of the live action films, the messages were muddled if not done before.

In short, I look at the animated films and I’m impressed. If another live action Hellboy does come along, I hope that this time, it will be done right and I really don’t want to see relationship, gore fests, snark or family drama again. Of course, this all my opinion and I would love to hear all of yours.

Thank you for reading and stay safe.

EDIT: Wouldn’t you know it? I forgot the link to all things Hellboy Animated. Here it is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hellboy_Animated

[plaidbooks]

The R Drug part 2

A/N: I promise I still have summer bingo fics ready to go, but this idea wouldn’t leave me alone, so here it is. This is a part 2 to The R Drug, and is a lot of talking and exposition, and a lot of Sonny hating himself. This will most likely get a part 3. No chapter will ever be darkfic or as dark as the first one was. It’s only up from here.

Tags: self-loathing, mentions of rape (like, one line--references first fic heavily) and therapy, otherwise none, just a lot of angst with a maybe happy ending?

Words: 4657

Taglist:  @witches-unruly-heart  @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy  @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867  @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @redlipstickandblacktea @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas​  @reading--mermaid  @averyhotchner  @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

For the first few days, you sat on the couch in pain and exhaustion, wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. The doctor said that you were severely dehydrated and had kept both you and Sonny overnight after the club, though separated. Olivia and Amanda interviewed you, while Fin interviewed Sonny. You were both then sent on leave until you could come back to work…if you could come back at all.

Thankfully, you weren’t pregnant. But you were sore, every movement causing aches and pains as you shuffled around your apartment. Obviously, you weren’t pressing charges, and neither was Sonny; what happened was a freak accident, something you never wanted to think about again, but knew you’d have to in order to move past it.

When you could finally walk normally again, you went to a therapist. It took a while to find a groove; therapists specializing in rape victims had trouble dealing with the fact that while yes, you were a victim, you were also a perpetrator. The other strange thing was that you weren’t angry with Sonny; you were angry with yourself. You assaulted him, just as he assaulted you. And that was the part that was eating you up inside.

It took months of therapy, going every day and working through your confused and frustrated emotions before you finally came to terms with what had happened. You were ready to put your badge and gun back on, ready to move on with your life. You missed your job, your squad. But most of all, you missed Sonny. He was your best friend before all of this happened, and you hadn’t seen nor talked to him since the club. You missed his boyish charm, his bright smile and his loud laugh. You missed the little inside jokes you had together, and the late nights spent curled on the couch, watching reality TV and sports. You missed your Sonny.

**********************

On Monday morning, four months after the club incident, you made your way into the familiar precinct. You were heading for Olivia’s office when you stopped short. Both Amanda and Fin were at their desks like normal. Even your desk was how you left it; a few photos, baskets to hold paperwork, little knick-knacks that made it yours. But Sonny’s desk, the one next to yours, was completely different. There wasn’t a single photo of any Carisi, no Mets or Islanders memorabilia, no nothing that made it his. Instead, there was a picture of two men, one you didn’t recognize posing with…Deputy Chief Dodds?

Before you could ask questions, Amanda said, “that’s Mike Dodds’s desk. He’s the new Sergeant.”

“Where’s Carisi’s desk,” you asked, turning to look at her.

But it was Fin who answered. “He doesn’t have one.” You swore you got whiplash turning to look at Fin so quickly. “He turned in his badge and gun months ago…just after the club fiasco.”

“What?” you almost yelled. You were loud enough that Olivia heard you, and she and the new guy—Mike?—came out of her office. She beckoned you to her office, and you passed by Mike, who tried to give you a smile that you did not return.

“Welcome back—” Olivia started before you cut her off.

“Carisi’s gone?!”

She closed the door behind you before taking a seat at her desk. She motioned for you to sit, and you all but collapsed into the chair. “I tried to keep him, to talk him out of quitting. But he refused, saying he needed to work through things. I’m sorry, but there was nothing I could do.”

You stared in disbelief at the top of her desk. Sonny was gone. You had to talk to him, had to see him. You said as much to Liv.

“If you think you can get through to him, then by all means. Because it’s been hard around here not having two of my best detectives,” she replied. “Dodds has been a godsend, but he doesn’t replace either of you, and especially not both of you.”

You nodded. “I’ll talk to him, try and bring him back.”

“I wish you luck. I think he’ll listen to you; you were close before…all this.”

 **********************

After leaving the precinct, you tried texting and calling Sonny, but to no avail. In fact, it was going straight to voicemail, as if his phone were dead or off. So, you swung by his apartment. You buzzed his place, but a deep, gruff man answered.

“I just moved in a few months ago; the previous owner seemed to be in a hurry to move out,” he said. Clinging to the hope that this was still Sonny just trying to put on a fake accent, you buzzed a neighbor. But they confirmed that Sonny had moved out a couple months ago, and that a new tenant moved in.

Out of desperation, you tracked down a phone book, and looked up his parent’s place. Then you took the drive out to Staten Island. You shifted nervously on the porch, waiting for an answer after knocking.

A woman in her 60s, who could only be Mrs. Carisi, answered. Her eyes darted to your waistband, the badge there, then back to yours. You watched them slowly fill with tears.

“Please, don’t tell me yet,” she muttered, and you furrowed your brow. “Don’t tell me my Bambino is…is…” she hiccupped, and you understood; she thought you were here to deliver the news that Sonny was dead.

“No, no! I’m actually…I’m Carisi’s partner…or I was. I’m just…having a hell of a time tracking him down,” you quickly explained.

She sniffled, trying to compose herself. “Well, I hope you do find him.”

“You mean…you don’t know where he is?” you asked, heart sinking.

She shook her head. “He told us he needed some time, and that he’d be in touch. That was the last we saw or heard from him, and that was back in March.” It was June now, and you were realizing that this was going to be a lot harder than you thought.

You nodded, muttering out an apology for bothering her as you turned away, but she grabbed your wrist, stopping you. “Please, if you find Sonny, tell him we love him. And that we want him to come home.”

“Of course,” you replied before leaving, holding back tears until you were back in your car.

 ****************

Your first real clue as to where Sonny went came through looking at his bank statements. There, you found a one-way trip to Genoa, Italy. Without too much thought behind it, you booked a flight, texted Olivia your intentions, then headed to the airport. In your hurry, you didn’t pack, didn’t even book a place to stay. You only had one thing on your mind, and it was to find Sonny Carisi.

With the clothes on your back, your phone, passport, and wallet full of bills that you converted to euros, you got on the one-way trip to Genoa.

 ***************

You barely slept on the plane, landing early in the morning. The sun was just peaking over the beautiful Italian landscape. Even in your exhaustion and worry, you had to stop and appreciate the architecture of a different country. Genoa was beautiful, and you’d be enjoying yourself if the drive to find your missing partner wasn’t so high. You had a picture of him on your phone, and you went around, asking everyone you passed by if they had seen him. At first, you were asking in English—you didn’t know Italian. But eventually, you learned the phrases you needed.

“L'hai visto?” you asked desperately.

You understood “no,” and saw the look of sadness on their faces.

“Grazie,” you replied, moving on.

You must’ve asked hundreds of people. The sun was high in the sky, and you felt a hopelessness in your fruitless search. Why did you ever think you’d find him? There was a good chance he wasn’t even in Genoa anymore; he could’ve landed and moved somewhere more isolated. You had nothing to go on, and your voice and face took on a pleading, desperate tone. You must’ve looked like an unhinged person, asking the same question over and over again while pointing frantically to your phone screen.

Another thought came to you in the form of a growling stomach. You hadn’t eaten, hadn’t had so much as a sip of water since you got off the plane. Which then led you to think about what you were going to do once the sun went down. You didn’t have a whole lot of money on you, and you didn’t know how much anything cost.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” you muttered to yourself in frustrated hopelessness. You sat down hard on a bench, cursing yourself for not thinking this through better.

A woman came over to you; she looked somewhat familiar. You must’ve talked to her before. But she started speaking rapid Italian to you. You gave her a puzzled look, brow furrowed. You tried to express that you didn’t speak Italian, and she stopped, her face contorted as she thought.

“Man,” she said in slow, pronounced English. She pointed to her left. “Man...you want?”

You followed her finger and froze when you saw the tall, lanky frame of Sonny through a shop window. You jumped to your feet, shouting a “thank you!” to her as you ran on tired legs to the shop. Sonny was just paying for groceries, and was heading out of the shop when you reached him.

His eyes widened as he saw you, guilt flooding his eyes. “...[y/n]?” he asked. “What’re you doing here?”

“Looking for you,” you replied, grinning. “I thought I’d never find you.”

He gave you a hard look. “I wish you didn’t,” he muttered before turning to leave.

You stared in disbelief as he walked down the street, bag in his arms. Snapping yourself out of it, you hurried after him. “Carisi, what are you doing here in Italy?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, not breaking in his stride. You struggled to keep up with his long legs, your body and mind exhausted. “I’m trying to start over, away from my past.”

You pushed yourself to get in front of him, cutting him off. “You can’t just—just run away.... Don’t I...don’t we mean anything to you? The squad, your family—”

“Of course you do,” he replied, eyes softening for a moment. “That’s why I left.”

You looked at him, eyes pleading. “Look, Dom, I know what happened was...traumatic. But—”

“I’m not talking about that. Not now, not ever.” And then he was walking again, easily stepping around you. “Please, just go home,” he called over his shoulder to you.

You watched him retreat for a moment before heading after him again. “Dominick, you need to talk about it, if not to me, than to someone else. But you can’t bury it down, move on like nothing ever happened.”

Sonny whipped around to glare at you, face hard. “Like nothing ever happened? You think that’s what I’m doing?” He shook his head, huffing. “I’ll never stop thinking about it! This will haunt me to my grave! And when I’m burning in Hell, I’ll know why.”

It broke your heart to see him like this. “Please, listen to me. You need to work through this. It took me months to come to terms with my actions, and I know you can do it, too.”

“I’m too disgusted with myself,” he replied, shaking his head. “I hate myself too much for what I did to you.”

He tried to turn away again, but you grabbed his shoulder, stopping him. He flinched at the contact, pulling away from your touch, and you let your hand fall. “I hated me, too. Still do sometimes. But it wasn’t our fault; we were drugged. There was nothing we could do—”

“I could’ve fought it. I could’ve controlled myself.”

“And what, I couldn’t?” you shot back. Sonny’s eyes widened at your outburst. “If you hate yourself so much, then you must hate me, too. I did the same thing you did.”

He was quiet for a moment, eyes scanning yours. “I could never hate you.”

“Then why are you so hellbent on hating yourself, but not me?”

“Because I...” he trailed off, thinking through his words. You could tell there was something he wanted to say, but instead he whispered, “I don’t know.”

You moved closer to him. “Then please, let me help you.” You didn’t make the mistake of touching him again, instead just gazing deeply into his eyes.

Sonny sighed heavily, regripping the bag in his arms. “Yeah, okay. But...let me sleep on it, first?” He saw the skeptical look you gave him, and he quickly added, “I promise I won’t run away again. I just...I need time to process things. Where are you staying? I can swing by in the morning.”

“Uhh...” you said, looking at the ground.

“...please tell me you have a place to stay.”

You shifted uncomfortably. “I was going to try and find a place, soon?” you tried.

You could see the inner struggle he had as he fought himself. “I could...you could stay with me, if you want.... That is, if you feel safe with me...if you can trust me.”

“Dominick, I trust you with my life,” you said softly.

His eyes widened for a moment. “Yeah...okay. Follow me.”

 ****************

Sonny lived in a small apartment. Though it was a little smaller than his place in Manhattan, it was absolutely stunning, the view from his window gorgeous. It was simply furnished, yet it still somehow felt like...Sonny. He put his grocery bag down on the little counter that acted like an island in a kitchen. In reality, it was just a piece that separated the kitchen from the living room.

“Have you eaten?” he asked as he put his things away.

You stomach grumbled loudly in response. “Uh, no,” you muttered, embarrassed.

Sonny gave you a look. “So, let me get this straight. I can tell by your no luggage or place to stay that you just flew to Genoa with absolutely no backup plan? What if you didn’t find me? What if I went to Vernazza or something?”

You smiled sheepishly. “I wasn’t in the best state of mind, okay? I was worried about you; no one had heard from you, not even your parents. And your phone just went to voicemail.”

He sighed. “I left my phone in New York; I didn’t want it. Maybe I also wasn’t in the best state of mind when I left.”

You dug your phone out of your pocket; you only had 10% left on it. You unlocked it, then shoved it towards him. “You need to call your parents. Your mom is heartbroken, and asked me to tell you that she loves you. But I think it would be better coming from her directly to you.”

Tears filled his eyes as he took your phone from you. “If I do, then it’ll kill your phone battery. There’s no way the call would be less than five hours long.”

“Call them,” you urged. You could buy a phone charger in the morning. Sonny sighed, dialing the number. “I’ll give you some privacy,” you whispered, heading outside. You heard a soft, “hey ma; it’s me,” before you closed the front door behind you.

You were so relieved to have found Sonny. Sure, he was still broken and hurt, but you knew you could help him find himself, pull himself back from the darkness in his mind. You just didn’t know how long it would take, how long you’d be in Italy for. You didn’t want to rush him, couldn’t rush him if you tried. And you knew a lot of this would be an internal battle, something you knew intimately well based on your own experience. In the end, he’d have to find the strength to forgive himself on his own before he could move on. You sighed, looking up into the dark clouds above you, the muggy heat making your skin sticky.

 *********************

Sonny came and got you about an hour later. His eyes were rimmed red, but it seemed as though a weight had lifted off him as he handed back your now dead phone.

“Sorry; I can buy you a charger in the morning,” he muttered, leading you back inside.

You shook your head, smiling softly. “Don’t worry about it.”

You both ate dinner in silence; Sonny was pensive, thinking, while you were starving and shoveling the delicious food into your mouth. Once you finished—your huge bites compared to his little nibbles had you finishing in record time—you took your dishes to the kitchen and started cleaning them.

“I can do that—” Sonny started before you cut him off.

“It’s fine; you cook, I clean.” It was your rule back in Manhattan, and Sonny smiled softly at the memories of you both in his kitchen.

“Look, Sonny, I know you said you don’t want to talk—and that’s fine! But, if you ever do want to talk, I’m here, willing to listen,” you said. You scrubbed at your plate with the sponge, forcing yourself to not turn and look at him.

He sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. You resolutely stayed facing the sink, washing a now clean dish, waiting for a response that may not come.

“I...I know it was R. I know it was. But I just...I can’t stop the self-loathing I feel,” he said so quietly, you barely heard him over the water in the sink.

Slowly, you turned the water off, then turned to face him. “I know. It took me months to not hate myself. To not blame myself.”

Sonny took a deep breath, then rubbed his eyes. “I never asked; how are you?”

You knew he didn’t mean in general. “I was very sore and exhausted the first week. I was stuck in a downward spiral. But the thing about hitting rock bottom is that you can only go up.” You sighed. “I’m doing better. I doubt I’ll ever be 100% me again. But I’m working every day to get closer.”

He nodded, thinking. “See, I feel like I hit rock bottom, then grabbed a shovel. I’m still fighting to get back to rock bottom.”

“Well, just know that I do not blame you in any way. All the anger and hatred I felt was directed at myself,” you huffed out an emotionless chuckle. “In fact, you hardly came up in my therapy sessions at all. Just that I hated myself for doing that to you.”

Sonny stood then, bringing his own dishes into the kitchen. “I never blamed you, either; still don’t. I—I guess because I’m bigger and because I was...on top, I blame myself instead. I didn’t even consider the fact that you got drugged, too....”

“That’s the thing; I know you. And I know myself. Neither of us...that wouldn’t have happened without outside forces making us do it. Like I said, I trust you with my life, Sonny. And while I understand why you turned your badge in, I really would like my partner back one day,” you said, hope tinging your voice.

He reached past you to put his plate in the sink, and you gazed up at him. This was the closest you’ve been since that night in the club, his face inches from yours, bright blue eyes boring into your own. For a moment, it was like nothing had happened. You could pretend that you were in Sonny’s Manhattan apartment, having just finished dinner he made, Love Island playing on his TV. But then reality set in, and Sonny backed away from you, a look of guilt in his eyes.

“M—maybe one day. But I’m not sure I want to go back to that line of work yet,” he muttered, looking at the floor.

You nodded. “I understand—” you were cut off by a loud clap of thunder, sounding directly above you. You dropped the plate you were rinsing off into the sink, the clatter loud in the shocked silence.

Sonny looked from the ceiling to you, saw your petrified look. He knew you hated storms, would often get a call at 1am from you, asking to come over when a thunderstorm rolled in. When he saw you on the streets of Genoa, he didn’t connect that Italy had some of the most intense thunderstorms in the world.

“Hey, it’s okay; I’m here,” he murmured out of instinct; the words he would say back home to you.

You were trembling, tears in your eyes. “S-Sonny, I—”

Another loud rumbling resounded through the apartment, and he saw you shrink in on yourself, slowly dropping to the floor, curling around your legs. You tucked your face against your knees, shaking with quiet sobs. He came over to you, kneeling in front of you. Normally, he’d wrap you tightly in his arms, whispering to you that you were safe. But now, he was afraid to touch you.

“Dominick, I trust you with my life,” he remembered you saying, with no hesitation. Swallowing the thoughts propelled by self-loathing, he placed a hand on your shoulder. He knew he wouldn’t assault you, wouldn’t do anything without your consent, so why the hell was he hesitating when you needed him?

“Come on; let’s get you into bed, okay?” Sonny whispered to you. You nodded without looking up. Gently, he unfolded your limbs, helping you to your feet. He had been planning to sleep on the couch, give you his bed. Now, though, he was leading you to his bedroom quickly, trying to make it before more thunder sounded.

He got you into his bed just as another clap of thunder shook the walls. You pulled the covers over your head, tucking down as hard as possible into the bed. Sonny climbed into bed next to you, laying on top of the covers. Gently, he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you back against him. He could feel you trembling, the whole bed shaking. What else could he do besides what he normally did?

“It’s okay; you’re safe. I got you,” he whispered, rubbing your arm over the blanket. You rolled over until you were facing him, and curled in against his chest. Sonny stiffened for only a moment before relaxing in the familiar position.

“I hate storms,” you choked out, tucking your face into his shirt.

He rubbed your back in comfort. “I know you do. It’ll be gone soon enough.”

But unlike Manhattan, where that may be true, thunderstorms in Genoa lasted hours. Simply because you didn’t sleep the night before, you were able to drift off in Sonny’s embrace. You’d jerk awake every time a clap of thunder was heard, though, shaking and sobbing softly as he murmured sweet words to you before succumbing to sleep again.

Sonny, however, didn’t sleep a wink. He was too lost in thought, holding you to him. You trusted him enough to sleep in the same bed, his arms around you, even after everything that happened. You didn’t blame him, felt no hatred towards him. And while most of his problem stemmed from his own self-hatred, he was always afraid that you felt the same way about him. And he couldn’t deal with that, couldn’t stand it. Not when he—

He almost said it out on the street earlier, when you asked him if he hated you. He almost told you that he loved you, had come so close. In fact, he was planning on asking you out after work that day. The day that changed his life forever, and not in the way he had been hoping. If only Liv hadn’t called you both into her office that day, then maybe there would still be a chance....

But he could never tell you, not now. How would you even begin a relationship after this? He was too afraid to even touch you, for Christ’s sake. Though, that was before the thunderstorm started. Now, you were curled against his chest, your trembling stopped for the moment, breathing deep as you slept. His arms were around you, and god he loved it, loved the feeling of you sleeping in his arms, whether from a storm or not. This wasn’t the first time he held you throughout the night, and he loved it every time, regardless of circumstances. But how could anything evolve from this? How could he kiss you? How could you be...intimate together without the memory of the club popping up in either of your minds?

A small part of him whispered that if he could get over his fear of touching you—evident by the cuddling—then he could overcome his other fears, too. But would you want that? Did he?.... Yes, yes he wanted that very much. He wanted to be able to love you without fear and/or guilt in his heart. Before the club, he had thought that his biggest obstacle would be 1PP. Oh how ignorant he had been.

He resolved that he wouldn’t tell you, not now, maybe not ever. He couldn’t, not when this darkness was still inside his head, not when his hatred for himself was so high—

Thunder rolled out, and you jumped, instantly waking. The trembling started again, and you grabbed Sonny’s shirt, pulling him closer to you.

“I got you. You’re okay, you’re safe,” he whispered to you.

But for the first time ever, you responded. “You make me feel safe, Dom,” you muttered back.

At first, he was filled with such a profound warmth and happiness, feeling protective and strong. But then a flash of your face, beet red, your body moving erratically underneath his while loud club music played, and he sunk in on himself. He felt like such an asshole, such a coward, holding you like this. He should’ve left you on the streets in Genoa, closed himself off. Or at least offer to put you up in a hotel or a hostile, not fucking take you home with him. He hated that side of him that couldn’t let you go, almost as much as the hatred of that night in the club.

“What’s wrong?” you asked suddenly. You were still shaking in his grasp, but you noticed he was deep in thought. He had stopped talking, and was humming slightly. Sonny only hummed when he was thinking hard. He didn’t respond right away, unsure of what he’d even say. So, you pressed on, “need me to comfort you?”

Sonny’s expression softened. Here you were, scared out of your mind, but still offering him help. This is one of the main reasons he loved you. “No, I’m fine. Just sleep, okay?” he murmured.

Without thinking about it, he brushed his lips against your forehead, giving you a gentle kiss. You smiled at the gesture, tucking your head against his chest again, quickly finding sleep once more.

But Sonny was silently cursing himself. Why the hell did you kiss her?! he thought in anguish. In truth, he didn’t think, just reacted. He often kissed your forehead in comfort, trying to coax you to sleep. It seemed as if when he turned his brain off, he could rely on instinct, doing things he normally did. But that nagging side of his brain never left him alone for long. Things he used to do that brought him joy, like holding you or kissing your soft skin, now filled him with regret. How was he supposed to move on and leave you behind in New York when he did shit like this?

He sighed, glancing at his clock and seeing that it was only a little past 1am. This was going to be a long night. And he still wasn’t sure what to say to you in the morning.

[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 4

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff with a bit of lemon zest 🍋 The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral sex, between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

(My GIF)

“Angel....” he sighed.

“Billy....” you smiled lazily, “...you’re such a big sap.” His barking laugh rang out loud in the room.

He rolled off you, laying on his back, stretching and turning his head to look at you, smiling. “Not somethin’ you should really be sayin’ to an ex-Marine, sweetheart.” You shrugged, “Not if it’s true.” “So, first I’m a puppydog and now I’m a big sap?” You nodded, “Yes. Yes, you are.” He rolled back onto you, kissing you again. “Okay, okay, I’m a big sap. But not a puppydog, alright?”

“Oh, alright,” you grumbled, pushing back an errant lock of that hair. Then you ran your fingers through the whole lush mass of it. He grinned, “You really like my hair, hmmm?” You were still playing with it. “Yeah. So what if I do?” He shook his head forward, so that several strands of it tickled your face. “Another little thing I know about you now.” You blew the strands off, and began pushing them back over his brow again. “Gonna use it against me, Russo?” He chuckled, “You bet.”

He rolled away and stood up next to the bed, pulling the condom off and knotting it before throwing it casually into a bin under the bedside table. A nasty little voice in your head muttered, strategically placed bin, looked very practiced doing that, you sure he doesn’t bring women back here? Oh shut up, you silently answered.

“Like some more wine?” You nodded, so he strolled out of the bedroom (you were totally watching that tight ass walk away) and returned a few moments later holding two glasses. He held one out to you, which you took and sipped from. Really good wine, you thought.

He lay down next to you, taking a drink of his own wine and just gazing at you. “What?” you asked. “What?” he parroted back at you. You poked his shoulder, “Why are you staring at me like that?” He took another drink, eyes never leaving yours over the rim of the glass. “So I can’t just sit and look at my beautiful girlfriend?” You laughed out loud, “What?! Did you just use the G word, Russo? You’re joking, right?” He grinned back at you, “Are you sayin’ you don’t wanna be my girlfriend?” You were surprised to see his grin fade a little the longer you gazed back at him.

Sitting up straighter, you said, “Billy.... tell me you are joking with me? We’ve known each other for like, 5 minutes! And you’re a player, and a very busy boy and I’m a very busy girl. I like you, I really do... but this is all just a bit of fun between us, right?...what else could it be at this stage?” You were surprised when a real frown appeared on his handsome face and he looked away from you. He sat up, resting his wrists on his raised knees, wine glass dangling between them from his long fingers.

“What else...?” He turned his head to look at you, “...somethin’ real. Maybe you don’t, but I feel a deep connection between us, even this early in. Like, I can be myself with you. Without all the bullshit.” You took a long sip of your wine, maintaining eye contact, considering what he’d just said. You reached out and ran your thumb across his bristly chin. “I do think we clicked, Billy. And I’d like to see you again, if you want to.” His fingers went to your thumb where it lingered on his face, and he stroked your skin. “Yes, I do want to. And I want to keep doing this. I mean... us sleeping together.” You laughed, “Now why am I not surprised?” He gave you a small, almost shy smile, “Okay, then.” He put his wine glass on the bedside table and lay back down, propping himself up on an elbow, “You gonna stay the night?”

Taking another sip of your wine, you nodded, “Yeah, think I will. See? I’m even willing to do the walk of shame I promised myself I wouldn’t do for you, Billy.” Now a big genuine grin from him beamed its way to you, “I’m honoured.” “Yes, you should be,” you said, smirking and leaning forward to kiss him softly.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You and Billy had disappeared under the covers after that, kissing, touching and eventually snuggling into each other before you fell asleep. Waking first in the morning, you looked across the pillow at the exquisite vision that was Sleeping Russo. His face was relaxed and peaceful, his hair tousled and laying over his forehead, lips ever so slightly parted - you could just hear him giving out tiny little breathy snores. He had one arm thrown over your hips, pinning you against him.

Thinking over what he’d said last night, you allowed yourself to be a bit overwhelmed by it. You still weren’t really sure that he’d been serious, but it had sounded like it. Calling you his girlfriend after knowing you for only a few days? That was way too soon, and also didn’t sit well with his super-confident ‘I’m a CEO - look at me - how fuckable am I?’ persona. And you’d seen the reactions of the women in that bar on your first ‘date’, and even in the restaurant yesterday evening.

The eyes of every woman in the place had been pulled towards Billy like a magnetic force was in play as he’d walked in with you. Then their eyes had flickered over you with something close to disdain. Yeah, thanks for looking at me as if I’m a piece of trash. Well, you mentally shrugged, sorry bitches, I’m the one who got to go home with him. And then got to have him.

A tingle ran right through you as your memory provided a reel of you and Billy having sex. Then your mind went back to the ‘girlfriend’ thing, and you couldn’t deny that it gave you a little bit of a thrill that he’d actually said that. But then that annoyingly sensible part of your brain said, “Hey, just chill! Take things easy, see where it goes.” You tried to ignore the other side which was yelling, “Go for it! Tell him hell yes you’ll be his girlfriend.”

You extricated yourself from underneath Billy’s arm and headed to the bathroom, pulling his long white tank undershirt on as you went. Mmmm.. your nose said, Aroma di Russo. Looking into the bathroom mirror, you decided you looked like you’d gone several rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson.

Trying to repair the damage somewhat, you washed your face, swirled some toothpaste round your winey-breathed mouth followed by a ‘rock chick head banging’ rearrangement of your hair. Well now you just looked like Lady Gaga on a bad day. Shrugging, you padded back through to the bedroom, finding a pair of dark chocolate eyes regarding you from the bed as you walked in.

‘Buon giorno,” you smiled at him, getting a big smile back in return, his eyes now sparkling with mischief. “Mornin’ to you too, angel. Uhhh... now what was it someone was sayin’ to me last night about matching clothes?” “Ha ha smartass.. we are not matching, I am wearing one item of your clothing.” Chuckling, he beckoned you back to the bed, but you shook your head, “I better get going, Billy, it’s later than I thought.” You’d been a little surprised to find out it was 10am, you never slept that late - well, not recently since you’d had your own business to run. “It’s Saturday!” he protested, “Where have you gotta be so urgently on a Saturday?”

“I always check in at both cafés on a Saturday morning, it’s our busiest day. And help out if needed.” He contemplated you from his position lazing on the pillows, “A hands-on boss. I’m impressed. I like to be hands-on too.” He saw you rolling your eyes and he said, “Hey! I am actually talking about my business practices here!” You laughed, “OK, OK, I’ll accept the truth of that statement!” You started picking up your clothes, throwing them on quickly and grabbing your phone to call an Uber.

“No, no,” said Billy, leaping athletically out of bed, giving you a nice eyeful as he did so. “I’ll take you home then I’m coming along with you to work.” Your jaw dropped, “Why would you wanna do that, Billy?” He was heading for the bathroom, and said over his shoulder, “Cos I want to spend some more time with you, is that okay?” You spluttered, “Well... yeah, fine,” to his departing back.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d grabbed a quick shower at home - declining Billy’s offer to join you. “I know you already showered before we left your place,” you admonished him. “Can’t be too clean,” he smirked, “maybe there were some places I missed and only you can reach.” Groaning out an “Uhhh!”, you disappeared into the bathroom, locking the door behind you. Not a moment too soon as the door handle rattled a split second afterwards. “Now that’s just not fair!” you heard from the other side of the door. You turned on the shower, grinning at the constant string of pleas from outside but ignoring them all.

Dressed casually for your weekend café visits, Billy dropped you off in Greenwich Village and joined you a few minutes later in the café, after finding a parking space. Here, your three co-workers were already knee-deep in customers, and you were busy taking someone’s order to their table when he stepped through the door. Your stomach did a backflip, and you took a moment to appreciate just how especially hot he was looking today. Black jeans, black V-neck T, black combat boots, topped off with his leather jacket.

Once again, all female eyes tracked onto him like lasers, including your three staff - Stace, Amy and Jen. You sighed, welcome to your new normal you thought. However Billy’s eyes were locked on you, and he smiled, indicating with a raised finger that he was heading to an empty table. You nodded back, mouthing “Two minutes,” at him as you cleared off a table. And now all the female eyes were on you, with a mixture of curiosity and no doubt a dash of jealousy mixed in there. You returned to the counter, walking behind it carrying two coffee cups and a plate, which you rinsed and popped into the industrial-sized dishwasher.

Jen sidled up to you, she was the Jake equivalent at this café. Before she could say anything, you smirked, “He’s my new... friend, okay?” She looked at you, wide-eyed, “Now don’t take this the wrong way, but I would. He’s really hot!” She was just about the only one who could get away with that comment, and you laughed, “You can look, ragazza, but you better not touch!” Her hands went up, innocent look on her face, “Wouldn’t dream of it!” “Can you pass on the gossip to the girls?” you asked, “I’m off to sit with my hot boyfriend.” Moving to the nearest Gaggia, you all of a sudden realised what you’d called him. Oh. You’d better watch that.

Carrying two double macchiatos over to where Billy sat scrolling through his phone, you informed him that you were going to refine his palate, coffee-wise. Amy followed in your footsteps, bearing a plate of pastries. She gawped unashamedly at Billy as she put the plate down in the middle of the table. You sighed inwardly, she was young and had no filter sometimes. “Thanks, Amy,” you emphasised her name, and she snapped out of it, looking at you guiltily before smirking and walking away. You in turn smirked at Billy, “You have a fan.” He laughed, “She’s a kid.” “Yes, she is, and currently sporting heart-eyes for my....” you stopped speaking briefly then continued, “...but she’s a quick learner, she’s only been with us a few weeks and she already makes a mean coffee.”

He added sugar to his coffee, smiling, “What’s this then?” “Macchiato. Espresso, but with a dash of milk foam.” Raising the small cup to his lips, he sipped. “Mmmm, yeah it’s good. A bit stronger than I usually take my coffee, but yeah... I can see you succeedin’ in refining my tastes.” He placed the cup back in the saucer, looking back up at you suddenly, “What were you gonna say? When you said she had heart-eyes for me. Your... what?” He was smirking at you, but his eyes were serious. Truthfully, you’d been about to say ‘boyfriend’ but you weren’t about to admit that to him. You placed your hand on his arm, “Friend, of course.” His hand covered yours, eyes boring into yours, “Well why didn’t you just say that? Hmm?” You could just feel yourself blushing, shit! he’d sussed you out, you were sure of it, but you just laughed, “I don’t know. Cos I hadn’t had my coffee yet, maybe?”

His hand left yours, and he chuckled, shaking his head, “Yeah, okay.” Watching him picking up a pastry and biting into it, you found yourself staring at his mouth before shaking yourself out of your mini-trance. He asked, “So, are we headin’ over to Chelsea soon?” and you nodded, also choosing a pastry and munching on it. “And afterwards?” he questioned you. You thought for a moment, “We could head back to my place for some lunch.” “Yeah, I like the sound of that,” he agreed, devilish smirk in place, “with a hot and sexy session in bed as afters.” You lightly slapped his wrist, “Billy!” your head swivelling to see who might have overheard him - he hadn’t particularly kept his voice down.

You spotted a young woman at the table behind glaring at you as if she was offended, not by the conversation, but by the very fact that you were sitting there with Billy. You quickly looked away from her. Lordy, at this rate you were going to end up with a knife between your shoulder blades just for sharing the same breathing space as Billy. Shortly afterwards, Billy headed for the door as you went over to say Bye to your team. Meeting up with him outside, you saw him looking at a small scrap of paper before screwing it up and tossing it into a wastebin. “What was that?” you queried. Grinning, he said, “Woman at the next table gave me her number on my way out.”

As you two were still standing by the café window, your turned your head until you met the disappointed eyes and angry face of the woman who’d glared at you earlier. You knew she’d just seen Billy throw her number in the trash. Normally you would’ve flipped her off just to drive home the point, but you reminded yourself that she was a customer of yours, so instead you smirked at her, stretching up and softly kissing Billy. He slid his fingers onto your neck and up onto your jaw, kissing you back. It wasn’t as full-on as the kiss in Chelsea had been - which was just as well as she wasn’t the only one watching - but it was enough to send her a metaphorical finger.

You’d then strolled off with him, taking his hand as you did and intertwining your fingers with his. He seemed pleased about this, looking down and smiling at your linked hands. A twinge of guilt hit you, as you’d done it solely to further piss off that blatant bitch who you well knew was still watching and seething with jealousy, but then you did have to admit it felt.... actually quite nice.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The lunch at your apartment had been really enjoyable. You’d prepared one of your favourite dishes, using fresh pasta you’d made a couple of days prior, and which had been waiting in the fridge just so it could make a suitable entrance. Billy had been fascinated, watching you make ravioli parcels with it and filling them with white crab meat, seasoning as you went along. Then you’d made a light butter and sage sauce to go with it and some garlic bread to have on the side.

He’d polished off stacks of it, saying it was so good that he was going to kidnap you and hold you captive in his kitchen. “Oh, yeah...” you scoffed, “...what is it all those cavemen like to say about women... keep them barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, right?!!”

“If you insist,” accompanied by a smirk and a sly wink. “Not a chance, Mr Russo.”

Even bigger smirk, “We’ll just have to see, won’t we, sweetheart?”

You took the conversation to the bedroom, joking with Billy that while you were indeed a total and utter goddess, there was no way you’d ever end up being a domestic goddess. Billy was laughing, removing your clothes and his in the meantime, while you still chattered on. He finally got you to stop talking by pinning you down underneath him and kissing you with heated passion, telling you that yes, you were his goddess and as such, he was going to worship at your feet.

Billy got up and pulled you smoothly forward by your ankles until you were lying half off the bed, then spent rather a lot of time with his head between your legs, before bestowing a further offering upon your body. This second generous votive consisted of him pleasuring you with his impressive erection, and was the most sensual and prolonged example of worship you’d ever experienced in your immortal goddess-type life. This you graciously and very loudly accepted from your devotee.

You and he fell into a light sleep, both spent after your exertions. Just before you drifted off, you heard Billy whisper, “Next time m’gonna eat some of that pasta right off that gorgeous body of yours,” and your dreams ended up full of Billy, and food, and wine, and sex. And grapes. Well, you were a goddess after all, so you had to have a bunch of grapes to nibble on, right?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Waking up on Sunday morning, there was a notable lack of a warm body beside you in your bed. Had he just left?...you wondered.... without even waking you? He’d better not have. Not if he wanted to retain his crown jewels, you thought grimly. You got up, rustled around in your drawer for a long t-shirt and pulling it on, walked through to your open-plan living area. There in your kitchen, stood a naked Billy Russo in all his splendour, his back to you as he held the handle of a pan on the cooker, stirring the contents with one of your favourite neon-coloured big kitchen spoons.

“Mornin’, goddess,” he called to you, sniper senses picking up your arrival within his vicinity. You were just smiling at his use of your new pet name when he turned towards you. He leant back on the cooker, arms folded across his chest, giving you a real eyeful of his toned torso and the rest of his ‘equipment’, as he’d called it. You momentarily lost the ability to speak - goddamn that man was a work of art. Quickly recovering, you managed to say, “Morning, Marine.”

A grin curved his lips upwards, “How d’you like your eggs in the mornin’, ma’am?”

“Over easy,” you grinned back. He tapped his shoulder a couple of times with the kitchen spoon, “Ummm.. how about scrambled? And then I’ll give you the “over easy” version afterwards.”

That damn smirk of his, you thought, it’s downright dangerous.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Amazing artwork created for this chapter by @lauraeartwork 🥰

[waitingat-thefrontgate]

Hell Was The Journey

Summary: Max and Spencer's almost meet...two times before they do

Word Count: 1769

Authors Note: I love Max. I love Spencer and Max's relationship. I also LOVE Taylor Swift, so when I was listening to invisible string I couldn't help but wonder how that'd be a cute Maxcer fic. So here I am! I made a separate account to post this. I hope you enjoy!

p.s this isn't probably the first fic inspired by that song, but I am pretty sure it is the first Maxer one. Please correct me if I'm wrong!

4x8

Max let out a deep sigh as she checked her watch. She had an hour before she had to head to her student teaching placement, an hour she wouldn’t have if her professor didn’t end class early.

“Come on Max, let’s act like college students and do something on campus” her classmate Leah said.

Before Max could respond, Leah had already pulled Max off to a direction.

“You know we could be lesson planning. Or even better, go somewhere to eat!” Max grumbled as she would have preferred to spend the hour decompressing her teaching credential program’s tough schedule. Although she looked forward to seeing her students and loved being able to share the passion of art with others, Max still couldn’t help but wonder if this was what she was supposed to do with her life. She followed her mom’s advice about pursuing something she loved, but an art history degree unfortunately isn’t getting her job interviews.

Ignoring her, Leah stopped at a bulletin board that listed all the current events that were going on campus. “Max! They are holding an FBI recruitment seminar in a few minutes, we should go!”

“I don’t think the FBI will be impressed with my 5’2 stature and art history degree” Max snorts and shakes her head. “Besides, we are pretty knee deep in another career path.”

“I know that, but who knows who we’ll meet. Maybe some cute guys are interested, or better yet, maybe there’s some hot FBI agents here already. Let’s go!!” Without giving Max the second to respond, Leah at pulled her off to the direction of the building the FBI seminar was held.

They arrived a few minutes before it started. The presenter was an older man, who seemed to be already chatting with another attendee, who seemed to be dressed to impress wearing a suit and tie. It wasn’t until the younger man turned around that his holstered weapon was visible.

“What have I been doing wrong if he’s in the FBI. He looks about our age” Leah whispered.

Before Max could respond, her phone starting buzzing. Leah sent Max death glares as she picked up the phone, her brother-in-law Jared doesn’t call her unless it’s important.

“Hello?”

“Michelle’s in labor! We’re on our way to the hospital now. Meet us when you can!” Jared hung up right after his last words, probably calling the rest of the family.

After a few seconds of shock and the reality that her sister was going to be a mother, and Max would be an aunt registered, Max gathered her things right as the presenters started introducing themselves.

“Hello, good afternoon my name is David Rossi and I hav-“Leah looked at Max waiting for an answer as to why she was just leaving so quick.

“Sorry I’ll call you later” Max whispered, “let me know how it goes!” She slides out the door and starts running towards her car, knowing she will be meeting her niece or nephew very soon

10x9

Max couldn’t believe the news about her friend Jessica. Although her and Jessica haven’t been close ever since she went behind Max’s back and dated Mike Davis a week after they broke up, she was still horrified and saddened by the details of her death. Max knew that Jessica wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but she was a business owner, and her responses were always out of fear and stress about making ends meet.

She had already been in contact with other mutual friends she shared with Jessica, and she began scrolling through old pictures she had.

Max thought for a very long time that Mike Davis was going to be the man she’d marry. After a tough time getting a steady teaching job and losing her mother, Max so desperately wanted something she could say was hers. This led to her moving quickly with Mike and missing (and ignoring) the clear red flags. Even after the cheating and lying, Max was willing to forgive Mike. No matter how many times they broke up, Max always hoped for the day Mike would just pick her, and only her.

Feeling guilty about practically ending her friendship over a guy like that, Max sighed as she grabbed her keys to head to work. That’s when she jumped over her phone ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Maxine Brenner?” a deep voice asked.

“Yes, yes this is her. May I ask who I’m speaking with?”

“My name is Aaron Hotchner, I work with the FBI and I’m calling to ask you questions about your friend, Jessica Harris. She had you listed as an emergency contact.”

Max’s heart stopped. She didn’t know. “Yes, yes of course. We haven’t been in contact as much, but I want to help however I can.”

“Would you be able to stop by our office this morning?”

Max bit her lip. She had already used all personal and sick days, and her current principal was everything but understanding. “I’m on my way to work right now, and unfortunately won’t have time until this afternoon.”

“I understand. Give me a second and I’ll connect you with another agent who can talk to you on the phone, and they’ll see if you should come down again this afternoon.” At the bureau, Aaron looks out his office window. He sees Spencer looking at the board of the case with the pictures of the victims and their location.

Aaron steps out of his office, enough for Spencer to hear him, “Hey Reid, I have a contact that knows Jessica on the phone right now, can you ask her some questions?”

Spencer doesn’t turn around. “I can’t right at this moment, I’m still putting together information about our other victim”

Aaron scans the room and noticed Anderson without a task. “Anderson! I’m gonna patch you with someone who knew one of our victims. If anything seems worthy have her come down this afternoon.”

Max twiddled her thumb until finally she hears another voice, “Hello, my name is Agent Anderson and I’ll be asking you a few questions about Jessica.”

During her entire commute, Max answered questions about Jessica truthfully. She winced when she realized she didn’t have many good things to say about her. Agent Anderson thanked her, and as of right now he doesn’t see a need for her to come down. Max thanked him and grabbed her things and walked towards her school. She knew her students would be able to make her smile.

15x4

It was Saturday morning and Max smiled as her nephew talked about school over breakfast. Her nephew was almost as tall as she was, but she still remembers how small he was when she first held him all those years.

She finally felt like she was in a good place. After many years of struggling silently Max got the strength to go to therapy and take the time and energy to truly heal. It was hard, she always found pride in her independence and her high walls. The decision to go wasn’t easy, but when she realized how much it was affecting her relationship with Sammy, she knew she had to go. For the first time, she talked about her childhood and the pressure of growing behind her sister Michelle’s shadow, losing her mother and her toxic, fast paced and short lived relationships.

For almost two years, she had been applying the advice her therapist had gave her. She took care of herself, began putting effort in her relationships with her family, especially Michelle, and instead of ignoring the topic of her mother, she talked and remembered her fondly. She even got in touch with a headhunter, considering maybe it was time to leave teaching and find something that was meant for her. The other day she even thought about asking her brother-in-law if any of his coworkers were single, but she didn’t because she still wasn’t sure she was ready for that.

“Max, can we get cinnamon rolls at the coffee shop we always go with my mom?” Sammy looked up with big puppy dogs eyes.

“Sammy, we just finished eating. You sure you have room?” Max raised her eyebrow as she paid the bill.

Sammy thought for a minute, “I actually don’t know. But the park is right there so we can always go there for a bit.”

“Mhhh,” Max thought for a minute herself. She looked out and saw that it was a beautiful day in D.C and she would appreciate more time with her nephew, “Alright, let’s swing by the park!”

When they got there, the parking was full. She did a few laps, and she was ready to give up, “Sammy, I don’t think it’s possible we’re gonna have to try again another time.” Max turned her blinker to turn on the road again to drop Sammy off at his house.

“Awe come on Max! It’ll be quick I promise!” Sammy gave his best puppy eyes and Max knew who would get their way.

She turned her car around and parked on a no parking area and turned to Sammy. “We have to be SO quick.”

Sometime past season 15

Max looked out the window of her dad’s house as she plans the summer programs for the Smithsonian. Spencer was teaching Sammy a new magic trick as the rest of her family preps dinner outside. It had been almost two years since that Saturday at the park. Something that wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t make that spur of a moment decision.

Spencer and Max had already realized the two times their paths would have crossed. It was more decisions that delayed their meeting, but they both agreed that they were supposed to meet on that Saturday. They had to go through things, change, hurt and grow to be the person they were today. The person that was right for the other.

Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven.

Max put her things away. There was something that connected her with Spencer, and today, she thanked that thing a little more. She reached her bag that had a positive pregnancy test. Holding it close to her heart, she thought back of all the things that had happened, and she would do it again to be with Spencer and grow their family.

Spencer saw Max walking down to join them, he grins and thinks to himself he will never get over seeing her. He still feels like that Saturday night when he found her again after waiting in the hospital.

“Took you long enough” Spencer says as he laugh

[djmarinizelablog]

A Conversation with the Author of City Comma State, kippielovesyou/ForcedSimile

Had a short interview with the author of City Comma State, @kippielovesyou/ForcedSimile and asked her if I could share our conversation online---she said yes!

Did you know that Hange and Levi in her work was based on Spongebob and Squidward's interactions?

Read the entire transcript below:

-------------------------------------

djmarinizela (D): if i may ask, where and how did you learn to write so good? what inspired you to write city comma state?

kippielovesyou (K): i don't mind at all! it's genuinely just years of practice. i've been scribbling stories since kindergarten (i had a long standing multi part series in first grade about all my classmates). i think one thing is certain: having a strong understanding of characters whether you borrow them or they are your own is pretty key.

a lot of points [in Isayama's story] could have been better thought out or tighter. however, we all love his characters. a weak plot (or in the case of city comma state: no plot) can be ignored or forgiven if everyone loves the characters

i'll be honest, i spend a lot of time trying to understand why a character does things or reacts a certain way. and yes, sometimes, that means i act out scenes in my car while driving. it's embarrassing...

there's a lot more to it, but to me that's the most important thing

as far as how city comma state came about: i wanted to do a slow burn romance centered around levihan, but I also wanted to show how all these characters care about and support each other. i knew in the confines of the AoT world, anyone could die at any moment and that didn't work with the softer feelings i wanted people to enjoy. how can you enjoy the friendship between mike and hange if he dies? it's possible, but it upends all the warmth we were enjoying. so i wrote an AU. i wanted to keep levi with a rough background with many walls, and i wanted hange to have her own issues that they can work through together. and i love the idea of them adopting/supporting the 104th kids without the fear of sending them out to war

D: your answer is so profound and helpful, thank you so much! I can honestly say you pretty nailed it when it comes to character development---everyone has a character arc in your fic! [my next question] is about the gender discourse in your story. I know you started City Comma State pretty early in 2014, but even back then, the nonbinary identity wasn't widely known before. How were you able to flesh out the discourse on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum and play it out on the dialogues and backstories?

K: it's pretty funny, a lot of the LGBTQIA+ has always been discussed i my family. we've had gay, lesbian, trans, gnc, bi and asexual people in my family for generations, as far back as the 20s (that we're aware of). hange's gender being debated made it a prime opportunity to write such an experience, some of which is borrowed from my own life. when i read older chapters i see certain slips in dialogue where i could have made an effort to be more neutral. we're in such a binary society that sometimes even if you feel in between, it slips in. in fact, i'm sure some people might take issue with the fact that i stuck with she/her for hange. i'm not sure i'd make a different decision today. i like this version of hange the way she is, and i hope hange's nb/gnc status comes across in more than just pronouns. hange's full identity is so much more than that and that is what i wanted to explore. and i think no matter where you fall on the whole LGBTQIA+ spectrum, you are more than just the label you've chosen. yes, in this story levi is bi/pan. but i don't think he ever says that explicitly, and he avoids labels. it seems fussy to him, which feels levi. discourse would not be his thing. i think even having a debate about whether or not he was bi or pan wouldn't be something he would want to engage in, he just wants to do what he wants. instead it's heavily implied. i think we forget since so many of us experience this discourse online and want to label things that there are people who don't want to involve themselves in it. it goes back to how would this character act. for instance, based on how levi is in canon, i can see many ways to interpret his sexuality. there's cues for a lot of different takes. but levi doesn't seem like the type that would need a definitive label in order to be happy. there's many ways to interpret hange's gender (and i've written several takes, some where they're more insistent on their pronouns), but i think hange's more excited to explore life than worry too much about much about how they're addressed or how someone talks about them. maybe another character might be more caught up in labels but hange and levi not so much

D: No, don't be sorry, I am more than thankful for your answer. I really appreciate it! I don't get to have these kinds of conversations with other writers, so I am grateful for your insights.

K: a really funny anecdote for you: i loosely based the idea of my levihan off of spongebob and squidward. you know, since they start out as neighbors and hange is more invasive than levi is used to

D: that's.... a stretch. but thanks for the tidbit! was the annual star wars contest also something that you do in your family? that part as well as all the geeky references won me over tbh!

K: it was an extremely loose inspiration! but hange mowing her lawn in the middle of the night so levi wouldn't be mad at her is on par with a spongebob move. and um...my family, while they can be a little nerdy, is not nerdy enough to do the star wars tournament! i made that up entirely

i just imagined hange having eccentric family, so they have very unusual traditions that none of the children question

i'll be the first to say a lot of city comma state is unrealistic and a little bit of a domestic fantasy. there's a lot of problems with money, employment and such that hange and levi SHOULD have but that's a little too real and not what i want to be the focus of this story. like hange landing a job that gives her a day off and she doesn't suffer a severe pay cut as a result? unrealistic. but i have other things i want to tackle. plus, in canon we have humans that turn into giants and 3D maneuver gear which would probably kill its user in real life. i think making certain parts of this fanfic a little idealistic is okay

D: are there other works that influence your writing? or authors that inspire you to write?

K: There's too many influences to count. reading is so important and even things that are bad are helpful. i actually was trying to read a YA series that seemed really cool and i had to stop reading because so many things were so annoying (I won't reveal which, since i think it has a small but dedicated fandom and i don't want to rain on their parade, it is purely a taste thing to some degree). instead of being upset and thinking that I wasted my time, i took note of what made me stop reading (that is a long list of things i didn't like so i won't bother to outline each one). even if it's something as small as a fanfiction that you had to click out of, ask yourself why you stopped. Especially with fanfiction: you already like these characters, what you're looking for is usually pretty specific (a pairing, an au, a specific scenario, etc). why, when this author has ticked all your superficial boxes, did you stop reading? and when you love something as yourself why. Ask yourself why you love the source material even! do you really love the plotlines and the world or do you love the characters? Is the dialogue strong? something to also pay attention to: people in general. how do they speak, gestures, facial expressions. really listen to how people talk (Youtube podcasts are really good for this!).

i think people would be surprised, a lot of what i really like to read is very all over. from surrealist novels, to classic literature, to science fiction aimed at children (i'm finally reading animorphs after almost 20 years!). and what i write for original fiction doesn't reflect what i'm probably best known for.

D: thanks for this, Kippie! looking forward to reading more of your works!

K: i'm still amazed at the response! writing is so solitary to me and i don't really look at my numbers. it never occurred to me that people would be discussing my fic!

-------------------------------------

If you haven't read Kippie's Levihan fic yet, here's the link to get started: City Comma State

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 6

Yes, my darlings, you read that right. I promised I would get back on this one once I was done with In the Midnight Hour and admittedly I did get side tracked for a week doing the Valentine’s fics, once that was out of my head I have written almost 7000 new words for this story. I went from half way through this one to a few hundred words into part 10. So yeah. Expect to see this one updated fairly regularly. I haven’t given up on Star Child I’m just trying to decide which direction the next part should take.

Also on the tagging, I HAVE REACHED MY HARD AND FAST LIMIT OF 50. I love the response this story has gotten. I do. I love you all. I love every reply, like, and reblog. It brings me so much joy, you don’t even know. But tagging is hard for my ADHD brain. I have gone up from 20 to 30 and finally 50 as my system improved but I think if I do any more than that I’ll go insane. So any future tagging requests will be ignored. Sorry.

The best way to keep update on these stories is follow me and set me on notifications. I rarely do a lot of reblogging these days (too busy churning out stories like whoa), so more often then not a post will be a story. I try to post at least once a day (some times twice if I’m trying to rush through the posting a bit like I did to make sure the Valentine fic got out in time without making people wait on Vamp!Eddie), just never at set time.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

*

They all met up by the fountain in the middle of the mall. Eddie was bouncing on the balls of his feet nervously.

“You sure he’s going to come?” Jeff asked.

Eddie tried to peer around the crowd. “That’s what he said.”

And then they spotted him. He was in a nice red sweater with a white polo underneath and fitted jeans. Eddie ran his tongue over his teeth in appreciation.

But then he noticed the gaggle of children following behind him. And what a gaggle it was. It consisted of Red, his new best friend, another girl with a thousand yard stare. The tall black kid must be the Sinclair boy. The remaining three were also very interesting. There was the short curly haired kid with no front teeth. The last two were both dark haired, but the one on the right was darker. Hair and attitude, judging from the rounded shoulders and down cast expression of the other boy.

Steve sighed. “I’m sorry I’m late. Dustin called asking me to take him to the arcade, only when I told him that I was going to the mall, suddenly they all wanted to come.”

“And then I got roped into this because they wouldn’t all fit in Steve’s car,” a voice called from the back.

The person jostled his way to stand next to Steve. Jonathan clasped Steve on the shoulder. “I gave Will money to call me when you’re done so I can pick up him and El. Make sure he doesn’t spend it on the gumball machine.”

Steve nodded. “Thanks, man. I’ll see you later.”

Jonathan nodded and waved goodbye to everyone, but especially the timid one. Which Eddie figured must have been Will.

“Your children, I presume?” Eddie asked, eyeing the thirteen year-olds warily.

“Yup,” Steve said with a put on expression. He pointed to each of them in turn. “That’s Dustin, Mike, Will, Lucas, Max and El.”

Eddie did the same to his friends. “I’m Eddie, these are Jeff, Gareth, and Brian. Or collectively, the band Corroded Coffin.”

“That’s bitchin’,” El said with a smile.

Steve ducked his head as he tried not to laugh.

“Hell yeah, it is,” Jeff said, taking an immediate liking to her.

“All right,” Steve said, turning to the kids. “You are to stay in pairs at the very least. And you know who your partners are. Will and Mike, Max and El, and Dustin and Lucas. Regardless of what you are doing, you will meet up here at 2pm. No later. I have plans with these guys at three and I’m not going to be late because of you guys a second time.”

There were a lot of eye rolls but everyone agreed to meet at the fountain at two.

Once they had left, Steve turned back to see that all four of them were struggling not to laugh.

“No, no,” he said, shaking his head. “Go ahead and laugh. Because fuck knows it’s hilarious.”

So they promptly burst out laughing.

“Oh my god,” Gareth wheezed. “It was like watching ducklings.”

“Yes!” Eddie agreed. “My dude, I hope you are charging their parents for this.”

Steve shrugged. “It’s not like I need the money.”

They all just shook their heads.

Eddie clapped his hands together and rubbed. “Right, Stevie, this is how it is going to go. You’ll have one hour to get the most outrageous gift. Ten dollar maximum.”

“Each person or total?”

“However you want to swing it,” Jeff said. “But forty bucks is a lot.”

Steve nodded. “I guess my one concern is that I don’t know you guys very well and I don’t want to offend anyone.”

“So take Eddie with you,” Gareth said. “And then for the last ten minutes split off to buy something for each other.”

Eddie and Steve looked at each other.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, “that could work. What do you say, Stevie?”

Steve shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

Every one but Steve set a timer on their watches. Steve’s wasn’t a digital one, so he couldn’t.

“On your marks, get set,” Brian said. “And go!”

Eddie grabbed Steve’s hand and suddenly he was being dragged along.

Steve giggled. “Where to first?”

“We are going to Suncoast,” Eddie said with a grin. “It’s the best place for all your metalhead needs.

“Lead on, MacDuff!” Steve said with a grin.

Eddie finally let go of Steve’s hand as they neared the store.

“I found out in drama that a lot of the sayings and words we use today are because Shakespeare couldn’t find the right word and made them up,” Steve said nervously.

“Wait, really?” Eddie asked, coming to a complete stop. “Like what?”

“Well, ‘Lead on, MacDuff’,” Steve said, “just for starters. It’s from Macbeth. Green eyed-monster. Just loads that I can’t think of off the top of my head.”

Eddie stood there for a moment blinking. “If they had taught that in English, I think would pay more attention.”

Steve laughed. “I know, right?”

They entered the store and everything had a dark red neon glow to it and it was clearly separated between the movie part of the store and the music part of the store. It was almost jarring. The movie part was dark like the inside of a movie theater. The music part was well lit and almost sterile white in its design.

They wandered around the music section. And they stopped by the minuscule instrument section. It had mostly accessories but also a couple of guitars. Mostly acoustic but one or two electric as well.

“This is pitiful,” Steve said staring at the selection.

“Beggars can’t be choosers, dude,” Eddie said. “There is an actual record shop with a full on instrument section. But that is not the point of this.”

Steve stopped by the drumsticks. “Gareth is the drummer right?”

Eddie nodded.

“I’ve been to a couple of concerts and I saw that the drummer had a bucket of sticks...”

“Are you asking if you should get Gareth more drumsticks?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded. “Go for it.”

“What’s his favorite color?” Steve asked.

Eddie frowned, but Steve pointed to the drumsticks on display and the had all sorts of different colors and patterns.

“The black ones with the flames on them, for sure.”

Steve grinned and picked them up. They got a couple more things here, but it was time to move on.

They hit up the stationary store, the weird little shop that sold incense and little Egyptian figurines, and Hammond’s Toys.

As they were passing Shapiro’s on their way to Hammond’s Toys, Steve found his gift for Eddie. It took every bit of will power not to just rush back and grab it, afraid it would be gone by the time he got back.

Eddie came up to him. “All right, Stevie. This is where we have to part ways. We only have ten minutes left and we need to get each other something, too.”

Steve smiled and nodded. He doubled back to Shapiro’s and quickly bought it. He raced to the fountain to be there first. He sat down on the edge of the fountain, his packages tucked under his legs so people wouldn’t steal them.

It wasn’t long before the others started showing up. Brian showed up first.

“How the hell did you beat me, man?” he asked as he sat down next to Steve. “I’m always the first to arrive.”

Steve blushed. “I got lucky.” He was practically vibrating with anticipation.

Brian eyed him suspiciously. “And you got a present for everyone?”

Steve pressed his lips together and nodded.

Gareth was the next to show up. “Now that’s just embarrassing. Being beaten by Brian is one thing, he’s a shopping guru. But Steve Harrington, too? However will I get over the shame?”

Jeff laughed from behind him, having just shown up himself. “You’ll live.”

Eddie was the last to arrive showing up exactly at the hour.

“Ooh,” Jeff teased. “By the skin of your teeth. Is Steve-o here really that hard to buy for?”

Eddie grabbed his knees, panting for breath. “No,” he huffed. “Just on the other side of the fucking mall.”

“So,” Gareth said turning to Steve. “Now for the next phase of our little get together. We meet up at my house at three and exchange gifts and play a one-shot.”

Steve wrinkled his nose. “Is that like a D&D thing?”

“Yup!” Brian said gleefully rubbing his hands together. “It a story meant for a single day instead of multiple days like a campaign.”

“Yeah,” Jeff said. “We roll up quick character that are meant to die and just go to town no real rules. Just fun.”

Steve nodded. “Sure I could do that.” He looked at his watch. “I’ve got twenty minutes before the kids show up.”

The other three backed away slowly.

“Yeah,” Jeff said, “we aren’t going to wait for that mob.”

“Oh, hell no,” Brian agreed. “I’m sure they’re great kids and all but I have three younger siblings, if I wanted chaos, I’d hang out with them.”

“Middle schoolers, man,” Gareth said, “are the plague of the earth. See you at three.”

Steve laughed. “Agreed on all accounts. I see you at Gareth’s. I’ll get the address from Eddie.”

The three boys walked off, shoving and pushing each other, laughing as they made their way to the exit.

“So what about you?” Steve asked. “You going to run before the hoard gets here?”

Eddie laughed. “I should. Leave you to the wolves.” He grinned. “But nah. I want to properly meet the kids that Steve the pied piper of Hawkins has taken under his wing.”

Steve blushed. “I wouldn’t call myself that. They barely listen to me.”

Eddie’s face softened. “I’m sure that’s not true. I bet the little sponges are just soaking up everything you tell them.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “That would explain the language problem.”

Eddie tilted his head to side. “What language problem?”

“They swear like sailors.”

Eddie blinked a couple of time before he burst out laughing. “Having trouble not swearing around kids, Stevie?”

“You would be swearing too if you had to deal with them all the time,” he said with a shake of his head.

“So why do you do it?” Eddie asked.

Steve huffed out a sigh and kicked the side of the fountain with the heel of his foot. “Most of them don’t have great home lives. Except the Sinclairs, of course. Especially when it comes to caring adult men. I know what that’s like, so I try to be that for them.”

“Huh.”

Eddie didn’t have much time to comment on that because the first of the terrors had arrived.

The two dark-haired boys that seemed joined at the hip.

“Hey, Mike,” Steve greeted, “hey, Will. Did you already call Jonathan to come get you?”

Will nodded.

“Good,” Steve said. “Eddie here DMs for his friends.”

Both heads turned to him in shock.

“There is no way,” Mike said. “Steve would never be friends with someone who likes D&D.”

“Hey!” Steve protested. “I’m friends with you assholes!”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Fine. Steve wouldn’t be friends with people his own age that play D&D.”

“Mike...” Will protested, speaking up for the first time. “What’s your favorite class?”

“Bard. It’s kinda self-insert type of thing,” Eddie said. “I play guitar, so I get the class. Um...second favorite would druid. I have a twelfth level druid named Kilmar Goatfiend in a campaign my club is doing right now.”

“You have a D&D club?” Dustin asked coming up from behind Will and Mike. “No way!”

“Yep!” Eddie said with pop of his lips. “The Hellfire club. Lenny Fitzpatrick is president this year. Next year, it’ll probably be Janice Montgomery.”

“You have a girl in your club?” Lucas asked, think of his sister Erika.

“Girls don’t play D&D,” Mike growled.

Steve hit him on the back of the head. “Oi! Your sister played. She’s the one that taught you. Show her some respect.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. “Nancy Wheeler plays D&D.”

“Did,” Will clarified. “She’s the one that gave me my wizard robes to DM in.”

“You dress up?” Eddie asked. “That’s so cool.”

Will blushed.

Just then girls arrived both of them eating ice cream cones.

Dustin spotted them and gasped. “You got ice cream cones?” He turned to Steve. “Why didn’t we get ice cream cones?”

Steve stood up and put his hands on his hips. “Because they saved their money and bought themselves ice cream cones?”

Max stuck out her tongue at him and El giggled.

“You better finish those up before you get into my car,” Steve said wagging his finger at them.

“Hey, I could take Max home,” Eddie said with a shrug. “I’m heading that way anyway.”

Steve looked at Max. “It’s up to you. You can go home with him or I could drop you off at Hopper’s and you and El can continue to hang out.”

Max thought about it for a minute. “I’ll think I’ll go home with Eddie and hang out with El tomorrow.” She turned to El. “Is that okay?”

El nodded. “I wanted to spend time with Will and Mike today.”

Mike blushed.

“What about you two?” Steve asked. “Where am I dropping you two off?”

Dustin and Lucas just shared a glance and shrugged.

“Well then you two can sort it out in the car,” Steve said and then turned to Eddie. “So what’s Gareth’s address?”

Eddie pulled out a pocket notebook and pen and scribbled out the address. “There you go, see you later, man.”

Steve took the piece of paper with a smile. “Do you always carry a notebook and pen with you wherever you go?”

Eddie grinned. “Sure, sometimes the muse will strike while I’m out and about so I need something to jot down lyrics or chord progressions as needed.”

“That’s sooo cool,” Mike said, a little star struck.

Will and Lucas looked over at each other and rolled their eyes. Eddie fought back a grin.

They split off, with Will, Mike and El, staying at the fountain to wait for Jonathan.

Part 7  Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17 Part 18  Part 19 Part 20  Part 21

@shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites @garden-of-gay @anaibis @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @jinxjinn @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @dangdirtydemons @lovelyscot @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread

[soldrawss]

Could you please post more of your lovely wholesome Rottmnt content? Your AUs are golden and I’m sure all of us would appreciate, love and cherish anything you give us.

I’m ALWAYS down for posting some ROTTMNT AU content, thank you so much for your sweet words and the chance to bombard you with more of my au stories. (You didn’t specify which rottmnt content so I’m taking artistic liberty and answering with BBM content) He’s another little story I wrote for my Big Brother Mikey AU.  (Zach had asked if Raph ever outgrows Mikey because he’s genetically built like a freaking tank and I not only said yes, but Leo and Donnie eventually outgrow him too, and then this short was born)

So Mikey's not like, TALL by any means. At around 20 he reached his peak height of 5'7, and that was that. But for a good portion of their childhoods, he was the tallest. Only naturally so, since he was the oldest. 

But then the twins turned 16 and hit a goddamn growth spurt and shot up like vines from a fairy tale and effectively outgrew Mikey. Which Mikey saw coming... sorta...

The twins had been around his height for a while, so it wasn't too surprising when the day finally came that Mikey, as he was standing in the kitchen making some scrambled egg tacos, noticed Leo walk up beside him and reach for the stash of chocolate peppermint bark that Mikey had to use a stepstool to stash up on the top shelf, (He hid them up there from their Christmas holiday party because Raph and Donnie had kept eating them to the point of getting sick) and Mikey finally thought, "oh my god, there goes my best treat hiding place". And sure enough, when he forced the twins to stand by the hallway wall, (where they had all their heights measured with color-coded crayon lines, something they used to do as kids with their dad that Mikey didn't really grow out of continuing despite all the times they've moved) the blue and purple lines had overtaken the orange line as the tallest height.

And it was a little bittersweet, Mikey DEFINITELY teared up about it despite Leo and Donnie giving him hugs and teasing him good-naturedly about it, but it was a good bittersweet. Leo and Donnie were growing up. They weren't the fierce and protective kids they used to be, guarded with nervous and untrusting anger that kept cultivating in their unstable childhoods. An anger that was almost seemed second hand, there without them having to reach for it, and Mikey used to lose sleep over hoping that they wouldn't feel like the world was against them forever. He hoped they could be kids for a long as they could be, much longer than he ever had the chance to be. 

They were so small, they'd always been so small. Born a month and a half premature, and tiny in Mikey's already small 7-year-old arms. He figured they'd always be that small, always fit right there, perfectly in the circle of his arms.

They still do, but not in the fearful and sheltered and scared way they used to. Not in the perfect way that made Mikey seem bigger than life, and able to shelter them from the worst of the world’s hurt and pain and cold. 

Now it's with a bounce in their step and a wry smile on their lips and a contented sigh in the mornings on their way to school, and Mikey lifts his arms up because how DARE they think they can just sneak off to do cool teenager things and not give their embarrassingly affectionate big brother a hug goodbye. And they sorta crouch now, bending over so that Mikey can wrap his arms around them, but they do it, and it feels right, and they hug back just as hard and Mikey is thankful they didn't outgrow this. Mikey isn't upset when the twins grew taller than him. But it's a completely different story with Raph. Because Raph was always a big kid. He was a brick as a baby. Round with baby fat and soft cheeks that Mikey used to blow fat raspberries into to make him giggle and no matter how big he got, he was never too big for Mikey to carry around and hold in his arms forever. At least, that's what Mikey thought, anyway. He didn't notice when Raph stopped jumping into his open arms whenever he got home, not at first. Racing like he had something to prove from wherever he was in their little apartment complex to meet Mikey at the door with a tackling hug to Mikey's middle with all the force of a runaway freight train. Mikey never stumbles or falls back from the familiar weight, because he knows, like he knows all the freckles on Raph's nose and all the curls in his baby brother's hair, that he'll always be there to catch him no matter what, so it was never something Mikey was consciously aware of. And sure, maybe he's a little aware of Raph's growth, but again, Raph was always a big kid. Mikey was always buying him new clothes and shoes, because he either ripped or outgrew his old ones, and he never quite fit into Leo's or Donnie’s or Mikey's quite right. It isn't until Raph's in 8th grade, and he's coming home with a note for Mikey to read about him joining the football team as a freshman come the next school year, and the coach want's Raph to do summer training with the rest of the team, that Mikey has to take a step back because WHAT? Raph is a baby, no WAY is he ready to play football what on EARTH is the coach thinking. It isn't until LH, after hearing Mikey complain about it to him later that night, "Because I don't know El. Raph was pretty excited about it, but Football is whole worlds dangerous. Weren't you just telling me last week about the statistics on brain damage and the correlation it has with contact sports like football? And how that damage is permanent? Raph could get hurt, like SERIOUSLY hurt. I don't know WHAT the coach is thinking putting a Freshman on a varsity team," tells Mikey, "Well, I mean, look at him, Mike. Kid's built like a brick wall. He could probably take a few hits better than some of the seniors can," that Mikey finally looks at Raph and REALLY looks at him. Because,,, yeah ok, Raph IS built like a brick wall. 13 years old and suddenly he's a whole head taller than Mikey and about as big as 4 of him and WOAH when did Mikey's baby brother, this kid, HIS kid, the only one Mikey will ever have, the one he raised since he was 12 year's old, and holding to his chest, shielding from a pot of boiling water, get too big to hold to his chest anymore. Too big to shield. And Mikey has to sit down and not have a panic attack because oh no oh god oh no. All his brothers, all his little brothers, that Mikey put his EVERYTHING into raising, providing, protecting, are suddenly not so little anymore. Not so in need of protection anymore. 

Donnie was off in grad school, getting a billion degrees and doctorates because he was smart enough to do everything and anything, and Leo was on a basketball scholarship at NYU, full ride, and he's skating through life on charm and smarts and innate talent to turn everything he touches into gold and Raph is 13, but he's already getting offers to be a centerline guard on a football team at a high school he doesn't even attend yet, and coming home shining bright and brilliant because of it, the same way he comes home after acing a bio test or landing another lead role in his theatre club and suddenly they don't NEED Mikey anymore.  

They don't need him like they used to, and certainly not in a way Mikey needs them. Because they're growing up. Growing into their own people, with their own lives, and it's exactly what Mikey wanted, of COURSE, it is. Mikey used to kill himself, working days and nights and holidays and THEN some, working on borrowed time he didn't give to himself, to make sure that his brothers GOT the opportunity to grow like this. To be the magnificent and amazing people they were always meant to be, despite the situation the world put them in. But Mikey has only ever lived, really, for his brothers. Mikey never let himself have anything. He always gave it to his brothers, freely and willingly. But now that his brothers don't need him anymore, what's there left of Mikey? What was Mikey supposed to do now? Mikey stopped growing at 20, but his brothers kept growing and getting bigger and brighter and outshining the universe, and when Mikey wasn't looking, he thinks they got too big from little him anymore. (Cue an existential crisis from Mikey at age 28, where LH and Raph call Leo and Donnie at college, to come down and have an intervention with Mikey because OF FUCKING COURSE THEY DIDN'T OUT GROW HIM ARE YOU KIDDING??? Mikey will always be their big brother and they'll ALWAYS need him. Maybe not need him the same way they did when they were kids. But they'll still need his weekend phone calls, and daily cat videos sent in the group chat, and kisses to their temples and pillow fights on the nights Leo and Donnie spend a weekend home and warm hugs and warm breakfast casserole and the constant "I love you"’s that wouldn't fill their hearts the same way if it came from anyone other than their big brother. And Leo and Donnie are 21 and are tall enough to be trees, and Raph is 16 and can bench press all of them if he tried, and Mikey will never be taller than his little brothers again. But they'll never be too big for Mikey's hugs or love. They'll never be big enough where they won't need their big brother. Mikey is the only thing that they’ll never outgrow.) 

[commander-hanji-zoe]

Valentine’s Day Headcanons

Oh look some Valentine’s Day headcanons that I should have posted a few weeks ago (I still have two Valentine’s Day requests which I’m hoping to finish tomorrow along with my oldest other request. 

This are very, very basic headcanons. Being honest, there wasn’t the same level of thought in these as my usual writing and I didn’t try to do anything flowery with the language. I just saw Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to write some quick thoughts down, hope you enjoy anyway! I decided to include Gelgar & Nile in this. 

Levi 

To Levi Valentine’s Day really is just another day and he doesn’t get the fuss around it.

That being said he’ll still buy his partner a card and something to go with it, usually a nice bottle of wine or some elegant flowers. 

Thinks it’s silly he needs a day to say I love you - though he isn’t a man who says ‘I love you’ very often at all, he’d rather show it with actions. 

If he’s single it doesn’t really bother him, he’s too busy with work to really notice what the day even is. 

Gets annoyed at the younger cadets if they’re over excited and suffers terribly from second-hand embarrassment when he witnesses 

Mike 

Loves Valentine’s Day but more in a private way. He loves seeing others happy, but when it comes to his partner/someone he’s interested in, it’s more of a subtle affair in public. 

Would much rather cook for his partner than go out to dinner, that way they can be as romantic & touchy/feely as possible without others watching.

Is big on Valentine’s underwear and has special outfits of his own - yup Mike is definitely one with a fondness for love heart boxers. 

Will buy the biggest bunch of flowers, that even he finds a bit embarrassing when he sends them to his partner/the person he has a crush on. 

Is into cute gestures he can repeat every year, like puzzles/a treasure hunt his partner will need to solve to find their gift.

Really loves the annual gifts from Hanji and agrees that it shouldn’t just be a day to celebration romantic love or sexual attraction, rather it’s a day to show love and gratitude to friends/family, all those who mean something to him. 

Nanaba

Enjoys it but like Levi, Valentine’s Day isn’t the be all and end all and certainly isn’t a highlight in her calendar.

If she’s dating someone that she of course appreciates the card, flowers etc. And will always do her best to find the perfect card and make her partner something nice like a cake. 

Will go a little easy on the cadets but is quick to put her foot down if they get too silly or carried away - romance isn’t an excuse to not pay attention. 

Might wear something very small to hint at what the day is (like a love heart shaped nose stud). I don’t see Nanaba wearing red, but I think she’d enjoy having small pieces of jewellery set aside for holidays.

Blushes surprisingly easily, whether she’s with someone and they send her flowers or if she gets something from a secret admirer she might privately have a little ‘squeeee’ moments and then take a few deep breaths and it’s back to being calm and collected. 

Hanji 

Will buy little heart shaped chocolates to give to the other vets and makes cards by hand for all of them. 

Hugs everyone they care about, extra hugs for Levi. 

If waking up in bed with the one they love Hanji would be one to make Valentine’s Day breakfast in bed and return wearing nothing but an apron. 

Definitely makes a card and ‘special meal’ for any titans they have in captivity. 

Very much the match-maker and if they know two people like one another, but are being hopeless at showing it - they’re sure to intervene or nudge them in the right direction. 

Puts in a level of effort into their outfit if on a date which other’s wouldn’t necessarily expect from them. Will actually get a little annoyed if anyone comments that ‘finally they’ve had a shower’ and explains rather abruptly that it isn’t that they don’t like showers/wearing nice scents, but work is too busy for such trivial matters! 

Erwin 

Timeless & classic when it comes to Valentine’s Day, he’s into old school romancing and will book a fancy meal out.

Definitely one to wear a smart suit and jacket out on a date, even if it isn’t really cold enough for a jacket he’ll wear one in case his partner gets cold so he has it to hand. 

During the day he doesn’t pay much attention to it, he’s happy if others want to decorate the barracks and have an exchange of cards etc. That doesn’t mean he wants to be involved. 

Is used to receiving numerous cards from secret admirers, after all he is Commander Handsome. He blushes quite easily at these and if teased by the other vets might get a little annoyed, but Erwin is good at playing it cool. 

Moblit 

Secretly he does look forward to Valentine’s Day, it’s not really something he’ll admit out loud, accept to Hanji of course. But dreads it in equal measures.

Is more about the home made gestures than buying lavish gifts for the person he likes. 

Isn’t very good at keeping secrets, so if he sends a card to someone he likes from their ‘secret admirer’ he’ll probably tell them before the day is over.

Does work himself up a bit in the week leading up to Valentine’s Day. He has a tendency to play out scenarios in his head and for some reason they often end up as worst case.

Might style his hair slightly different for the day if there’s someone he likes, it’s a way to get their attention and a talking point. 

Nile 

Pretends he doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day, but if he doesn’t get any cards he will be sad. 

If he gets a card he’ll shrug it off as mushy, he might even pretend to throw it away but secretly he’ll pick it up again later.

Practises pick-up lines in his mirror before approaching someone he likes. 

Is very sweet on a one to one basis and is happy to take his partner/date out for a very romantic meal. Not afraid to show affection in public once he is with someone, it’s quite a spectacular shift. 

Gelgar 

He’ll find a pub/tavern somewhere to drink away his sorrows, probably. 

I see him as being really clumsy when it comes to declarations of love - he definitely falls in love easily and when he falls he falls hard. Expect stuttering and stopping mid declaration to down whatever he’s drinking for a little more courage. The words don’t come out the right way and sometimes don’t make sense, but it’s easy to tell what he’s trying to say.

Sends over the top bouquets of flowers and a bottle of wine to the person he has a crush on, hinting heavily that the wine is to be shared. 

A few modern headcanons

Those who enjoy snapchat/insta filters - Mike, likes to make himself look like a cat or a bunny with love hearts floating around him. Hanji also would enjoy them - Erwin tries to figure it out but ends up turning himself into a slice of pizza or something. 

Who plans the Valentine’s Day ball? Hanji & Moblit make the best team for this particular task. Though it’s a ball at an ice skating rink or roller rink, they like to plan something super fun that everyone can enjoy with friends regardless of relationship status. 

The person who gets to the card shop before it opens to avoid people? Levi 100 times.

Who buys the Valentine’s Day meal - 2 mains, a dessert and bottle of wine from the local chain supermarket? Probably Moblit.

Enjoys a cinema trip to see a chick-flick with their friends instead of worrying about dates. Nanaba

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 15

TW: mentions of sexual harassment

December 30th, 2019

Aberdeen Bloom was ready for 2020.

She had to get through a game against Minnesota first, but she was excited nonetheless.  And she checked the weather in Winnipeg and saw that it was -20°C, but she tried to remain excited.  Even if she was going to freeze her ass off.

As she climbed the stairs up to the charter plane behind Brendan, she took one look back at the tarmac, at the sun setting behind them.  She was going to miss Toronto.  This would be the first time ever that she’d spend the new year outside of the city, outside of the country.  She figured Minnesota was the closest thing she could get to Canada – everybody always said how alike they were – but it, of course, wasn’t the same.  Kasha and Siena were going to a party hosted by Masani, and most of Aberdeen’s friends would be there too.  Except her.  Because she’d be at a hotel in Minnesota, ringing in the new year alone.  

Aberdeen would at least be able to FaceTime them.  Hopefully.

When she put her carry-on in the overhead compartment, she looked down the plane to see William finishing doing the same and taking off his jacket.  He looked over at her.  Subconsciously, she raised her hand to fix her hair.  He saw the ring on her finger flash in the poor airplane light.  He looked away to bite his lip and smile.  It was his go-to reaction when he saw it on her finger in New Jersey the first time – he’d actually walked away when he saw it because it was too much for him to bear.  When he saw it again, back in Toronto on Saturday against the Rangers, he’d had the same reaction.  Now, at least, he wasn’t as bashful about it.  He didn’t turn red and have to walk away.  

But none of that mattered now.  She was too sullen and too sad to have it really get to her like it usually would.  For the first time since she started working for Brendan, she desperately didn’t want to go anywhere.  She wanted to stay in Toronto.  She wanted to go to Masani’s house party.  She wanted to drink cocktails with Siena and Kasha, and she wanted to drink champagne at midnight surrounded by all her friends.  She wanted to go to her parents’ house on New Year’s Day and hug them and hug Camden.  

But she couldn’t.

“Is this your first time out of the city for New Year’s?” Brendan asked, interrupting her thoughts as he put his bag in the overhead compartment.  

“Yeah,” she nodded her head, her attention completely away from William now, who she knew was probably still looking at her, or at least in her general direction.

“First time you won’t see your family?”

She nodded again.  “I’m trying not to think about it.”

“Hmph…” Brendan nodded knowingly.  “Sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

Aberdeen slipped into her seat on the plane.  She watched Brendan slip into his own seat in front of her before he took out his iPad.  Through the crack between the seats, she saw him open Netflix.  She knew that meant she wouldn’t be bothered, so she stuck her headphones in her ears and settled in.  

When the plane took off, she had to close her window.  If she didn’t, she knew she’d cry, unable to say goodbye to the city she wished she could celebrate in. 

***

December 31st, 2019

Aberdeen was lucky that it was an early game.  It meant she could go back into her hotel room and FaceTime Siena and Kasha while they were at the party and pretend she was there too.

The team had gotten in late last night and immediately checked into the hotel and went to bed.  After a quick morning skate and hanging out at the arena, Aberdeen was running something for Brendan as she walked inside the locker room.  By this point, the team was comfortable with her presence, and no-one batted an eye.  Even she was comfortable – a complete turnaround from her first day when she basically slammed herself into a door twice because she saw them in tight workout gear.  They could be topless now and she wouldn’t even notice.  What had her life become?  

When she finished speaking to Dave Hakstol on behalf of Brendan, she was ready to leave.  That was, until—

“You,” Jason said sternly as he marched towards her from across the room.  “You get over here now,” he grabbed her arm and led her out of the room, into a part of the hallway where he could speak to her without anyone interrupting.  

“What’s this about?” Aberdeen asked.

“What’s this I hear about Ethan Baker?” Jason asked.

She froze in her spot.  She didn’t expect to have to deal with this now.  “Oh.  That.”

“Aberdeen, what the fuck?” he asked, his tone as serious as she’d ever heard it.  “William and Pierre told us after morning skate that he was fired for sexually harassing you before Christmas.  Pierre could barely speak he was still so angry.”

“He was fired for sexually harassing me,” she confirmed.

“What the fuck happened?”

“He uh…he felt me up in the staff kitchen before Christmas.  Pierre walked in on the tail end of it.  Thankfully.”

“He what?!” Jason was absolutely livid.  Aberdeen had never seen him this angry.  He wasn’t punching walls (Jason didn’t punch walls), but she could tell the anger was boiling within him.  “What do you mean he felt you up?”

“Do I really have to go into detail?” she asked, uncomfortable with revealing anything more.  “He’s gone now, that’s all that matters.”

“And Pierre and William tell us he was making you uncomfortable for a while?” Jason continued.  At that point, Aberdeen couldn’t look him in the eye anymore.  She knew William would tell them about the assault, but she didn’t know he’d tell them absolutely everything.  She didn’t want to have to tell Jason – old, wise, sensible Jason – what she told William on Christmas.  She knew he’d be so disappointed in her, and the absolute last thing she wanted in the world was for Jason Spezza to be disappointed in her.  “Aberdeen, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Jason…”

“Aberdeen.”

“I didn’t…listen, I just didn’t think it was worth the trouble.  I knew at the beginning he was just hazing me or whatever because I was the new girl.  But the more inappropriate it got, the more I just…I don’t know, I didn’t think I was worth the hassle—”

“William said he called you a piggy one day,” Jason said.  “How is that not worth the hassle?”  Aberdeen stayed silent.  At her silence, Jason became even more frustrated.  “Aberdeen, you need to know how valued you are as a member of the team.”

“I’m not a Leaf, Jason.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he was stern.  “The whole locker room is ready to find him and rip out his throat.  How could you even think that we wouldn’t have done anything if you came to one of us?”

“I did,” she whispered, immediately regretting it.

“What?”

“I said I did,” she said louder.  She took a deep breath.  “William found me one day trying to move hockey bags by myself because Ethan said I needed to do it.  He told Mike about it, but Mike decided not to pursue it any further or take it to Brendan.”

Jason looked like a mix between being unable to believe the words that were coming out of her mouth and looking like he was ready to blow a gasket.  “Why am I not surprised?” he mumbled through gritted teeth.  

Aberdeen shrugged.  After what came out about Mike after he got fired, she wasn’t exactly surprised either.  And after what he did to Jason on the season opener, she really wasn’t surprised.  He probably thought she deserved it for all she knew, being the rookie and all.  “It’s over now, Jason.  I want to put it past me.  And I appreciate you coming up to me – seriously, thank you – but I think you can understand why I don’t want to do talk about it anymore.”

As she moved to turn away from him, she felt him grab her elbow gently one last time.  “Just…listen to me.  Before you go,” he said.  “If anybody, ever, in any capacity, makes you feel uncomfortable whatsoever, you tell one of us.”

“I will,” she smiled, turning again to walk away.  

“Even if it is one of us.”

Aberdeen stopped.  She looked over her shoulder and back at him, seeing him standing in his Leafs hoodie and staring directly at her.  There was conviction in his voice.  Principle.  Morality.  She knew he was dead serious.

She nodded her head.  

***

Catering had prepared a rosé pasta, some chicken, fresh vegetables, and a hearty soup for the team to consume before the game.  Aberdeen took a large bowl of the cream of broccoli soup and brought it to her table, where she sat alone.  Only some of the team had filtered in so far – it was mostly the equipment and coaching staff.  She ate her soup in peace while she scrolled through her phone.

That was, until—

“Hey,” she heard Morgan’s voice.  When she looked up, he was already setting his plate of food down on the table at the seat right beside her.  From behind him, John Tavares appeared, setting his plate down beside Morgan’s.  

“Hi guys,” she smiled.  It would have looked like a slight ambush, but Morgan and John had to be the nicest guys in the league.  Morgan was practically her Uber driver, for heaven’s sake.  “How are you?”

“We’re fine,” John answered politely.

“What about you?” Morgan asked.

The inflex in his tone was telling.  “I’m fine…”

“Listen,” John just got right into it.  There was no point of beating around the bush.  “William and Pierre told us what happened—”

“You’re not sticking to the script, John,” Morgan grumbled.

“Your script was horrible, Morgan.”

“We agreed on the script.”

“We didn’t agree on anything.”

“Because you insist on the script being written by William fucking Shakespeare—"

Aberdeen couldn’t help but snort.  Besides being the nicest guys in the league, the other thing she could count on them for was making her laugh.  “Guys – it’s fine – Jason already spoke to me about it too—”

“Noooo no no, we’re not letting you off that easy,” Morgan shook his head.  “He’s the captain and I’m one of the alternates.  We have to get to the bottom of this.”

Aberdeen gave the boys a look, waiting for them to proceed.  She wondered how deep they would go with their grilling.  She wondered if they’d get as mad as Jason did, even if more people, teammates included, were filing into the dining room now.  “I’m not here to pry, Aberdeen.  I don’t want to know the details because I’m sure you don’t want to relive them,” John said.  “I just…more than anything, I just want to know why you didn’t say anything.  Like, why you didn’t approach me, or Morgan, or any of the other guys about how uncomfortable he made you.”

Aberdeen sighed.  She knew she’d have to go through the same things she told Jason.  “I just didn’t think that it was worth the big hassle.  I knew at the beginning he was just hazing me or whatever because I was the newbie.  As it got worse, I just…didn’t want to make a big deal.  I know that sounds horrible.  Believe me.”

“You should have made it a big deal,” Morgan said.

“I know.  I know that now,” Aberdeen nodded her head.  “And…uh, for what it’s worth, William sort of caught him once, so to speak, and he tried to talk to Mike about it, but Mike didn’t take it any further.”

“Babcock?” John asked.

“The one and only.”

Morgan and John shot each other a knowing look.  It’s as if everyone knew – that they held out hope he would have done the right thing, but knowing he ultimately wouldn’t.  It was Morgan that looked at Aberdeen first.  “Did anyone ever tell you what happened to Bee?” he asked.

Aberdeen shook her head.  She had no clue where this was leading to.  “No…”

Morgan took a deep breath.  “Bee grew up with an alcoholic mother,” he began, setting the tone of the conversation with those words.  “She fought to have herself legally emancipated from her at sixteen, and she never saw her after that.  At the end of January – near All Star Weekend, actually – it’ll be a year since Bee’s mom passed away.  Bee grew up in rooming houses, homeless shelters, all that.”

“Wow,” Aberdeen was legitimately shocked at what Morgan was telling her.  “I didn’t know any of that.”

“When we started dating, she started to get these messages accusing me of being her sugar daddy and all that.  Trapping me.  Just really stupid stuff,” Morgan recounted.  “But as time went on, the messages started becoming worse.  They started targeting her weight.  They started targeting her personality, her character.  Why we were together.  After…” he paused, collecting his emotions, “after Zach’s wedding last summer, and a video was posted to Snapchat of her and Freddie and Tyler Ennis having fun, someone had the audacity to call her the team cum bucket.  It got to her, a lot.  A lot.  But Bee always stayed silent about it.  She took this stance of having a dignified silence.”

From beside him, John nodded his head.  “Then one day, Bee, Aryne, and Bee’s best friend Angie were having dinner when a group of girls that knew Kappy’s ex approached them.  It…” John paused, having to collect his emotions as well as he retold the story.  He shook his head.  “They somehow learned that Bee’s mom had died due to her alcoholism, and brought it up as a point of gossip.  It wrecked Bee.  Just completely…” he looked over to Morgan, who was shaking his head.  He still didn’t like thinking about it.  “Lawyers almost got involved, social media managers…Bee had to make a super private Instagram account.  She even came out with a statement on the public one she has now about the whole thing.”

Aberdeen couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  “Holy shit,” was all she could say.  She felt horrible knowing that Bee had gone through something so terrible.  She’d always been nothing but an absolute sweetheart to Aberdeen whenever she and Morgan drove her home and whenever Aberdeen saw her at Scotiabank Arena.  To think that a group of girls had done that to her was appalling.  “I’m—I’m really sorry that happened to you guys,” she told Morgan.

“John offered to get lawyers involved.  Good lawyers.  And I’d do anything for Bee, so you know I was ready to burn the entire city down,” Morgan said.  Aberdeen knew.  She could tell just by the way he looked at her when they were in the car together driving her home that Morgan would move entire oceans for Bee.

“When Bee and I talked about it on the phone, I told her that one of the risks of being quiet is that other people can fill your silence, and you can’t let them fill your silence,” John explained.  “And that’s what I’m going to tell you too, Aberdeen.  The risk of being quiet is that other people can fill your silence.  Don’t let them fill your silence.”

The words hit Aberdeen like a ton of bricks.  She knew exactly what John meant.  She could no longer stay silent about things and be “just” Brendan’s executive assistant, the girl in the shadows willing to do anything for her boss but not willing to speak up about things.  She had to be better.  She had to be stronger, fiercer.  She had to use her voice.  “Thanks, guys.”

“And if anyone ever makes you feel uncomfortable, you come tell one of us and we’ll take care of it,” Morgan affirmed.

Aberdeen nodded her head.  “I will.”

***

The Leafs won 4-1, thankfully ending the decade on a good note.  William scored.  Not that she cared.  The game even ended at 7:30, which meant after media, everybody was on the bus to get back to the hotel by 8:15.  The guys didn’t mess around – they wanted out of the arena quick.  She was sure that a lot of them were going to do what she was planning on doing: FaceTiming friends and family back home.  She knew for a fact that a lot of the girls were at a party together.  And she knew for a fact the party Masani was throwing was already happening because of the time difference.  She couldn’t wait to bundle up in her room and call Siena.  

That was, until—

“Alright, you all get one hour to get all shiny and new before the bus leaves again,” Brendan announced.  He looked down at Aberdeen.  “Including you,” he added, before walking off the bus.

She furrowed her brows.  “What’s going on?”

“My boy Boeser recommended Murray’s Steakhouse for a New Year’s team dinner,” Auston said as he stood up from his seat, just across the aisle and two seats down from her seat at the front of the bus.  “Best steaks in the city.  So get a move on.”

She couldn’t believe it.  Brendan hadn’t told her about a thing.  He didn’t even tell her to pack an extra outfit.  So now she was going to be stuck wearing work clothes to the best steakhouse in the city on New Years surrounded by the Maple Leafs.  She was going to kill him.  

So she showered.  And she did her hair.  And she put on some makeup.  And she tried to put together an outfit.  And when she went back down to the lobby to see almost everyone already waiting and ready to go, she beelined towards Jason who was looking down at his phone.  “Did you know about the dinner?” she asked, scaring him slightly.

“We had a hunch,” he shrugged his shoulders.  “Why?  You didn’t?”

“No.”

“I thought you would have made all the arrangements.  I mean, no offence.”

“None taken,” she said, looking around briefly.  She saw Kasperi exit the elevator, followed by William.  She looked away quickly, focusing her attention back to Jason.  “What are Jen and the girls up to tonight?”

“Are you asking me because you genuinely care or because you want to take your mind off Willy?” Jason smirked, who had followed her line of sight.  

“Shut up, Jason.”

“Hey,” Kasperi’s voice interrupted their little chat as he and William showed up beside them.  Aberdeen smiled politely at them but Jason still had a cheeky grin on his face.  “You guys ready for some tomahawk steaks?”

“I prefer filets,” Aberdeen said.

“Hmm,” Kasper smirked.  “Like Willy.”

Aberdeen sneered at Kasperi, but William’s grew a bit of a smirk.  “How do I look, Aberdeen?”

She shook her head.  “You look like you should have had the starring role in Mamma Mia.”

Jason and Kasperi snorted.  Kasperi even took out his phone to write down the insult in his notes – he’d been keeping a record of all of them since the beginning.  William smiled too, shaking his head slightly.  “Well, it does have Abba in it,” he commented.

“Exactly what Swedes are known for.”

“Not Ikea or our hockey players?”

“Definitely Ikea, not your hockey players.”

“Ouch, Aberdeen,” William brought his hand up to his heart, pretending to be heartbroken.  Kappy rolled his eyes at William.  

Before she could respond, Brendan’s boisterous voice could be heard getting off of the elevator.  He was with Sheldon, who looked equally as happy as Brendan to be going out.  She wondered why others weren’t as pouty as she was about all of this – all she wanted to do, still, was FaceTime with Siena and her friends and pretend she was back in Toronto.  That was, until, she remembered that the team was their family too, almost as much as their real family.  These guys were on the road almost as often as they were home, and that although they had families at home, or wives, or girlfriends, their teammates were as much family as their actual family.  And somehow, someway, she had become a factor in that ‘family’ – she was a member, she was a willing participant, she was a constant presence in their life with the Toronto Maple Leafs.

More than anything, she was very lucky.  She needed to remember that.  Despite being away from her family in friends, she was still a very lucky girl.

At the restaurant, they got led to a private room with a few TVs and everything done up with banners, streamers, and party hats and favours.  There were two long tables, and Brendan commandeered one of them, sitting at the head, while John commandeered the other, sitting at the head as well.  She shuffled in with everyone else, looking down at her phone to see if Siena or Kasha had texted, and before she knew it, she was sandwiched in between Jason and Morgan, will William opposite her space at the table, sandwiched between Kasperi and Pierre Engvall.

She probably shouldn’t be here.  She should probably be at Brendan’s table, with Sheldon and the coaching staff and the equipment guys and— “I think I should go to the other ta—”

“Sit,” Jason instructed her, calmly but firmly.  “You need to stop being so nervous all the time.  Brendan doesn’t care where you sit.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Positive.  Especially if you’re sitting next to me.”

Aberdeen acquiesced.  He was probably lying, but he would be the one to deal with it later if he was and Brendan had a problem with it.  She settled in, looking down at the menu and ordering a filet with a lobster tail and a side of mashed potatoes and asparagus.  If she was going to be here, she was going to go all out.  

The dinner was nice.  Brendan and John gave short but sweet speeches as everyone got their meals, and the conversation that followed was lively, fun, and animated.  William seemed to be on his best behaviour, but throughout the dinner she could feel his leg brush up against hers under the table.  She’d shoot him a look every time; he’d just make eyes with her and smile.  A lot of the guys were reflecting on the year, some even on the entire decade – where they had been at the beginning versus where they are now – and it made Aberdeen think about her year and her decade too.  At the beginning, she was in elementary school; at the end, she was working for the Toronto Maple Leafs.  In between, she’d had a horde of stupid crushes, a couple of ex-boyfriends, listened to good music, gotten her licence, gotten published, moved out, cried about bad grades, cried about good grades, graduated, and got her first real ‘big girl’ job.  She had a lot to be proud of.  She had a lot left to do, but still a lot to still be proud of.

When dinner was over and the guys were just shooting the shit at the table or around the room, Aberdeen took the opportunity to go to a quiet hallway outside of the party room so she could call Siena.  It was 10:30 in Minneapolis, which meant it was 11:30 in Toronto, and Aberdeen wanted to talk to her before midnight, before all the champagne, and before Siena got too drunk.  

The first call didn’t go through.  The second call dropped.  Aberdeen got nervous.  What if the lines were already too busy?  What if she wouldn’t be able to speak to Siena?  The fear began to kick in.  She moved down the hallway, closer to a window, hoping it would help.  The third call dropped again, and so did the fourth.  Aberdeen could feel her chest tightening.  She tried one more time.  She was about to give up hope and cry for the rest of the night.  But then the screen changed, and it froze for a second.  And then —

“Aberdeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!” Siena cooed happily into the phone, finally appearing on the screen with a giant smile on her face.  “How are you?  Where are you guys tonight?”

“I’m fine.  We’re at some steakhouse in Minneapolis.  How’s the party?” she asked.

“It’s soooo good.  See for yourself!” she exclaimed, flipping the phone towards everyone at the party.  Siena screamed that it was Aberdeen and all her friends came rushing to the screen – Kasha and Evan were waving and blowing kisses, Masani was clinking her glass towards the screen, and so many of her other friends were waving and screaming sentiments like ‘Wish you were here!’  It made Aberdeen emotional to say the least.  It was where she wanted to be more than anything.  When that was all done with, Siena focused the screen back on herself.  “One of Masani’s friends is a bartender and he’s been making us drinks all night.  He made this killer punch too.  Everybody’s here.  Everybody.  It’s so fun.”

Aberdeen could feel her cheeks flush.  “I wish I was there,” she said, trying not to make her voice crack.  “I wish I was there so bad.”

“You’re spending New Year’s Eve with the Toronto Maple Leafs, Aberdeen.  It can’t be that bad,” Siena quipped.

“It’s not.  It’s not bad at all,” Aberdeen said.  Her voice ended up cracking – so much for trying to hide her emotion.  She knew she probably sounded ungrateful at this point, but she didn’t really care.  She’d been bottling it up all day, and she needed to let it out.  “It’s great being with them.  It is.  But I just…I just wish I was spending it at home with you and everyone else.”

Siena could hear the emotion apparent in Aberdeen’s voice.  Aberdeen watched as Siena walked down a hallway and locked herself in a washroom so she could hear her better and really get to the bottom of things.  “Aberdeen, talk to me,” she said as she sat on the toilet.  “What’s wrong?  What’s going on?”

“I just…I miss home.  I miss Toronto.  I miss mom and dad,” Aberdeen admitted.  “I miss being with them and I miss them roasting me all the time, and I miss dad asking us to text him when we get to the party, and I miss mom telling us to call her if we need a ride back home, and I miss…I miss everything about not being home and not celebrating at home.”

“But we’ve spent New Year’s with friends since university…”

Aberdeen shook her head, the stray tears finally falling down her cheek slowly.  “I know, but I was always…home.  In Toronto.  I’d come home and mom and dad would still be up and I’d get to hug them, and the next morning I’d get to hug Cam, and I can’t do that.  I’m in a different country.  It just feels weird and I don’t like it.  I’m not trying to sound ungrateful.  I’m just saying I don’t like it.”

“Aberdeen…” Siena sympathized with her sister.  “It’ll be okay.”

“Will it, though?”

“Yes it will,” Siena affirmed.  “It’s only one New Year’s.  You’ll be able to see mom and dad when you get home, and I promise you it’ll be okay.  They’re going to give you those really long hugs that you like so much.  And this – Aberdeen, it’s one house party with friends that you’re missing, but it’s not like this one is the last one we’re ever going to go to.  We’re going to have plenty more together.    I’ll have to hold your hair back as you puke in a toilet a few more times, I’m sure of it.”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but smile slightly, wiping away the tears.  Siena did have to hold her hair back before, and she was sure she’d make her sister do it again.  She was such a mess.  If it wasn’t evident by the situation she found herself in with William, that definitely helped proved the case.  “I love you, Siena,” Aberdeen said, meaning every word.  She told her sister often, but she meant it every time she said it.  “I love you and I miss you.”

“I love you too, Aberdeen,” Siena smiled.  “When you get back from Winnipeg, we’ll spend all the time in the world together until I have to go back to Ottawa.  Get back to your party, okay?  I’m sure William is looking for you anyway.”

“Shut up,” Aberdeen shook her head, but she couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her face.  “I love you.  I miss you.  Happy New Year.”

“I love you too.  Happy New Year, Aberdeen.  All your wildest wishes are going to come true.”

Aberdeen waited until Siena hung up before she locked her screen.  She slid down the wall and sat on the floor, her knees up against her chest as she shoved her phone between her legs.  She needed free hands to wipe the tears on her cheeks away.  She took a few deep breaths, trying to compose herself, fiddling with the rings she wore as she thought about everything.  Was she being a big baby?  Yes.  Did she care?  No.  She missed her family.  She even missed her annoying little brother.  People always told her holidays would be the worst, and they were right.

She looked down at her hands.  The ring William gave her stared back at her as she fiddled with it, its golden hue shining in the minimal lighting.  She took a deep breath.

“There you are.”

She looked up.  Of course, William was creeping through the door and the other end of the hallway.  He closed the door behind him and began walking towards her.  She didn’t know how long she’d been missing for, and she didn’t really care.  “What are you doing in here?” he asked as he got closer.  When he got close enough, even in the minimal lighting, he could see her ever-so-slightly red eyes.  “Are you crying?” he asked worriedly.

“I was,” she admitted.  There was no point in hiding it.

“Why, minskatt?”

She shook her head slightly.  “I just miss my family.  Being away from them on New Year’s is harder than I thought and I’m just handling it horribly.  Like a big baby, really.”

“You’re allowed to handle it like a big baby,” William shrugged his shoulders.  “I cried the first time I had to spend a holiday away from my family, too.  We’ve all done it.”

“Does it get any better?  Easier?” she asked.

He didn’t want to lie to her; the last thing he wanted to do was lie to her, but he didn’t want to make her cry, either.  “…No,” he was honest.  “It doesn’t get better, but it gets easier.  You learn how to deal with it.”

“Good to know,” she nodded absent-mindedly before pushing herself up to stand on her feet.  

When she faced him, he reached out and grabbed her hand, the one with his gifted ring on it.  She didn’t flinch away.  He hated seeing her so emotional.  “What can I do to make you feel better?” he asked.  He’d walk to Mars if he needed to.

She shrugged her shoulders.  “Nothing.  It’s fine.”  

“You want me to sing and dance along to Abba?” he asked.  It made her smirk.  “You wanna kick a soccer ball into Kappy’s face?” he asked.  It made her smile with her teeth.  “You want me to go to Costco and get you a hot dog?” he asked.  It made her snort.  

“You’re the worst, Will,” she mumbled through her smile.  She rubbed her thumb along the back of his hand briefly before pulling her hand away.

“You want me to kiss you?”

She didn’t respond.  But the smile on her face didn’t fade.  He only saw the look in her eyes, the look of temptation, of regret, of wanting, of needing, of resisting, of refusing, all in one.  The door opened again on the other side, Kasperi popped his head through.  “Don’t you guys want to watch BTS perform in Times Square?” he asked.  “Get back in here.  Actually, Aberdeen, you should probably come first.  Willy can stay in here until the ball drops.”

When she rejoined the party, the antics of all the guys kept her spirits up and almost, almost made her forget about crying and missing home.  There was dessert, someone suggested a game of pin the tail on the donkey (which was impossible), and there was, of course, what was on TV.  When it was nearing only five minutes until the New Year, the champagne was poured and everybody started huddling close to the biggest TV.  Pierre handed her a champagne flute.  Jason wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  

William wrapped his arm around her waist.  

When the clock struck midnight, Aberdeen watched as Brendan kissed the bald head of one of the equipment guys.  After downing the champagne flutes, everyone began hugging one another, wishing each other a Happy New Year.

William’s arm was still wrapped around her waist when he looked down at her.  “Happy New Year, minskatt,” he smiled down at her, a flicker of love in his eye. 

“Happy New Year, Willy.”

***

Alone in her hotel room, Aberdeen had washed off her makeup and repacked her clothes into her suitcase, ready to leave tomorrow for Winnipeg.  She was in her pajamas when she heard her phone buzz from the side table, where it lay charging.  

im coming minskatt. open ur door

The lightest knock followed.  She opened her door and William slipped in.  At this point, she wasn’t even angry.  She wasn’t worried.  She wasn’t…anything.  She had accepted that William Nylander was going to show up at her hotel room in the middle of the night more than once.  It was a fact of her life now.  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I’m here to give you your New Year’s kiss.”

Before Aberdeen could say anything, William took a step towards her, cupped her face in his hands, and kissed her.  It was soft, not too overpowering or greedy, and reminded Aberdeen of how she kissed him in her bedroom on Christmas.  She didn’t pull away.  She let him kiss her and she liked it.  She liked it more than anything in the world.

When he pulled away, it was only slightly; only enough to look her in the eyes to make sure what he did was okay.  When she pulled him back in, he got his answer.  And as Aberdeen deepened the kiss, and as William wrapped his arms around her waist and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, they both knew it was wrong, so wrong, but that it felt right, so right.  

[onmykneesforhotdilfs]

Hello, I wanted to ask you for a special shipment for Valentine's Day that is about the wedding of bloom and valtor and their married life, I would appreciate it very much, I hope I will not be a bother, thank you. ps: I love your writing bye.

First of all, of course you can have special shipment for valentine's day that is about the wedding of Bloom and Valtor and their married life.

Secondly, thank you so much for your kind words. You guys can't even believe how much your encouragement means to me.

Thirdly, I have like 5 more requests sitting in my inbox but please be patient, i promise to get to them as soon as possible. School is sitting on my chest currently. They will be done, the only question is when will I find the necessary time to do them.

Ok so without further ado, here we go. I decided to do this headcanon style, but if you guys want full fledged wedding or married life ff, just send in a request and it'll be done (eventually).

Sparxshipping wedding/married life headcanons (valentine's day special)

Engagement

Weirdly enough, it took place on Earth instead of Domino. Valtor organized an incredible evening in a rather nice restaurant, invited both of her families and all of her closest friends, Winx and specialists, including Sky (Bloom remained on friendly terms with the guy after the break up). The plot twist, he never told anyone he planned to propose. His manners and etiquette threatened to kick him in the ass for not asking Oritel for his permission to marry his daughter, but he had a hunch his future father in law would say "No." and that would do more harm than good in the future. Mike was more fond of him, especially when he noticed his rival (Oritel seemed to have the habit of making people dislike him) hated the magician with passion.

Valtor picked out the ring months before and he was just waiting for the perfect moment to present his beloved with it. The perfect moment seemed to strike when Bloom said one evening she always wanted to get all her friends and both of her families together on one big dinner in some nice Earth restaurant so they can all just chill for one night (she wanted to show her birth parents the planet she grew up on and she also wanted it to have a symbolic meeting for all of her friends). So when the opportunity struck, Valtor took it and wouldn't let go. Bloom protested to him organizing and paying for dinner she wanted but he had none of it and simply told her to 'relax and leave it all in his capable hands'.

All of Bloom's friends accepted the call immediately but Oritel made Valtor sweat for a few days before even he succumbed to his daughter's invitation (also, he suspected Marion had her fingers in tipping the king over the edge because if Valtor learned anything while he worked in the palace 20+ years ago, it was that Marion, despite her innocent looking facade, was quite the blackmailer and if he deduced correctly, she wore the pants in that household).

He was not nervous for a moment while he planned the whole thing even though he expected it at least on some level. But nothing could've prepared him for that moment when the dinner was done and they all stood up to leave the restaurant. The minutes were agonizing for him and despite everything he started second guessing his decision. It took all of his self control not to chicken out.

As it turned out, he had nothing to be anxious about, because as soon as he dropped to one knee, Oritel made an inhuman sound in the background, and popped the question while presenting Bloom with the ring, she threw herself on him and screamed 'YES!" in his ear. He could vaguely hear her friends screaming from excitement and happiness, that was mostly Stella, and one not so very happy voice saying "God damnit NO!", but he paid them no attention as his shaky fingers slipped the ring on Bloom's equally shaky hands. She threw her hands around his neck and kissed him while happy tears streamed down her face.

Wedding

The newly engaged couple was in no hurry to tie to knot and that seemed to displease everyone, mainly Stella because she wanted to go shopping for wedding dresses and bridesmaids dress (not that she needed the excuse to go shopping but 'Guysssss, this is special!'), but Oritel. As far as Valtor managed to catch, he was persistent in making his daughter change his mind about marrying Valtor. Then, overnight it seemed to him, Oritel started being more friendly and willing to spend some time with Valtor to 'get to know him'. He didn't understand the sudden shift in the beginning, but when his fiance took time to explain she threatened to burn all the expensive curtains in the palace if the king doesn't start minding his own business, everything fell into place.

The wedding preparations took over a month when they actually started planning, which was well over two years after the engagement but they figured, if they waited this long, they can wait a bit longer too. It was decided that the wedding will take place on Andros where their first official meeting happened, on a Colosseum he created to save her life when Icy's ice block knocked her unconscious into the water. Flora offered the help with the decorations, Stella dragged Bloom dress shopping and Musa and the rest of the fairies took care of other essentials in consultation with the wedding planner Bloom and Valtor personally picked out.

Despite the fact they already live together, they decided to somewhat respect the tradition and spent the night before the wedding separately. This was partially done to make Oritel a bit more docile at their wedding and to honor the tradition of groom not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding. They both had difficulty with that as was evident when neither of them could sleep that night, their bodies and fire inside too accustomed to the other being near. Bloom spent the night on Domino and Valtor went back to Alfea. The parting kiss the two shared had to be interrupted by Marion and Vanessa, so neither Oritel nor Mike came out to see what's taking their daughter so long to say goodbye, before it turned into a heavy makeout session. The two had to be almost hauled apart, Marion and Vanessa holding Bloom as Daphne took Valtor by the collar of his shirt and dragged him away to Alfea.

The morning brought no relief however because Valtor was too busy lowkey freaking out and Bloom herself couldn't stop rushing around the palace to fetch stuff she needed despite the fact maids could bring it to her. Valtor's mental breakdown was stopped by Andy, his best man weirdly enough (they got really friendly after the whole Earth mission and black circle fiasco. There was originally a bit of jealousy on Valtor's part because Bloom seemed to really like Andy and it reached the peak when he found out they dated back in the day. But Andy's quirky personality and unending questioning about magic really brought them closer together and helped Valtor realize, Andy is one of the best humans to have around).

Bloom got her fair share of support from Stella, who even threatened to slap her friend on the wrist for not sleeping, but sympathy shone in her eyes when Bloom told her she couldn't sleep because Valtor wasn't there. She also made a quite inappropriate joke in a very inappropriate time just as her parents, both pairs, entered a room. "So you couldn't sleep because Valtor isn't here or was it the exercise that is done primarily beneath the sheets that you missed?" Oritel gripped the door frame so hard Bloom though she even heard it crack. Bloom blushed like a tomato and gritted her friend's name through her teeth but luckily blonde took the hint and shut her mouth.

As the wedding approached, Valtor got even more fidgety but tried to fight it because he knew in just a few short hours, Bloom will be his forever. All that time, Andy stood on the side and quietly laughed at the man and a friend he always associated with being stoic and good with covering up his emotions. He would've never thought Valtor of all people would succumb to something as trivial as wedding jitters.

When Bloom and her family, together with Stella arrived on Andros, guests and everybody else were moved to the place of ceremony, only Oritel and Mike remaining with her. Bloom decided she wanted to have both of her dads give her away at her wedding day. The tricky part was getting them to get along because Oritel wanted to be the one to give her away ("I'm her father, damn it! Why should I share my right to give away MY daughter on her wedding day?" "Oh please, you royal ass, you don't even like that lad she's marrying! Think of me as a supervisor that makes sure overprotective father of a bride doesn't actually STEAL his daughter so she can't marry!" "I'm the KING! I don't need supervision!" "If both of you don't SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY I'm going to walk down that isle alone." That phrase spoken by Bloom shut them up and the two, although with big frowns on their faces, reluctantly agreed)

Valtor's breath got stuck in his throat when he saw Bloom first time in a wedding dress. The dress had thin straps holding and supporting the dress on her delicate shoulders as the flowy lacy dress sat on her tiny frame perfectly. He saw her stop for a second as she took him in for the first time as well in a burgundy suit with a purple tie and handkerchief of the same color. He didn't even notice as both of Bloom's fathers kept shooting each other looks over their daughter's head during the walk. He only saw Bloom. He woke up from his daydream when Bloom's small delicate hand was placed in his by two larger hands, one belonging to Mike, other to Oritel. He nodded to both of them and gripped her hand like it's his lifeline.

The wedding officiate was saying some nonsense that Valtor didn't listen until it was time to exchange the rings and swear to each other for all eternity. When the ring exchange was done, when all that needed to be said was said and the famous, long awaited words "You may kiss the bride." were spoken Valtor finally relaxed and leaned down to kiss his wife for the first time. The crowd went wild, Stella screamed and Oritel almost fainted, Mike and Vanessa were seen wiping the tears from their eyes. Overall, the wedding was a success.

Roxy, to Andy's big surprise and delight, caught the bouquet. The three story cake was cut and smeared all over newly weds faces. Congratulations were proclaimed and a lot of kisses were shared. A carriage with unicorns, similar to the one on Daphne's wedding got rolled in the moment Bloom and Valtor's feet touched the solid ground. Bloom couldn't contain her excitement and she rounded straight to the unicorns while the guests and her husband said the last goodbye for at least a month. She was shaken out of her trance when Valtor grabbed her hand and then lifted her bridal style into his arms and stepped into the carriage with her in his arms. The couple waved to the crowd beneath and shared a kiss before the carriage disappeared into the portal.

Married life

They spent their honeymoon gallivanting around different worlds but they remained mostly on Earth. They both preferred warmer locations, so tropical resorts were where they chose to spend their honeymoon in. Bloom actually had no involvement in planning of the honeymoon so she was so pleasantly surprised when the portal opened on Maldives and she was greeted by a sight of turquoise water and small but fancy apartments built on water. For someone who seems to spit on a traditional views more than he follows them, she was surprised how many superficial, at least in his opinion, customs Valtor followed for her. Aside from deciding not to see her before the wedding as mentioned before, he also insisted on carrying her over the doorstep.

They spent the whole month without phones and annoying phonecalls from Stella, one of the main reasons why they chose not to bring anything but the emergency bracelet which can be used to contact either party only in a case of an emergency. They had to explain to Stella that new dress in Vogue was not an emergency and therefore, the bracelet was given to Techna because she was the only one they trusted not to abuse the right to call.

When they finally returned from honeymoon, and after they spent good hour and a half convincing Oritel Bloom's not pregnant, a joint decision was made that the newlyweds will be given the keys to the separate wing of the castle where their privacy was guaranteed (yeah right, as if Valtor will get anything even resembling privacy with Bloom while Oritel's around).

Their married life wasn't too different from their normal life. Valtor would wake up first most of the time and would make breakfast for Bloom. Bloom would sleep in most of the time when she didn't have to go anywhere and Valtor would sometimes have to use drastic measures to get her out of bed.

They shower together because 'it saves water', oh wait that was the excuse they used before they were married. Now they shower together because they're married and what they do doesn't concern anyone.

Life in the castle had some advantages but they'll be damned if it didn't have it's fair share of disadvantages as well. The biggest one being, well, Oritel. There were a few times they were almost caught in a compromising situation but somehow they always managed to avoid the full blast. They both knew it was only the matter of time however. Valtor was even tempted to leave the doors unlocked just so Oritel would get what he came to see and hopefully gauge his eyes out so he could longer disturb them. Bloom swatted him over the head for that one.

They both made an appointment not to sacrifice their friendships just because they're married so Winx were guests quite often.

Valtor still decided to teach in Alfea when it was absolutely necessary and when Faragonda asked him nicely few days in advance if he would be willing to teach the class. Bloom would sometimes sneak into the class as well and sit in the back. She would even take notes from time to time.

They would practice magic quite often together in the backyard of the castle that was customized for such situations. But their favorite place in the whole castle was Valtor's office/library where they could both spend hours in, while just reading books and drinking tea.

[deniigi]

i have been sick in bed with a stomach bug and re-reading a bunch of your series and these questions have plagued me so pls, for the sake of your fellow samuel chung lover, if sammy was in the Selkie verse, would he be a fae? if so, what kind? ALSO, what would his interactions with jack be like (either in the selkie verse or in the lying by omission verse)? pls and thanks <3

hi!

I’ll answer asks in a bit, but for this one I have a fic that explore a What If Jack Lived/Mike existed scenario with Sam in the Inimitable verse? I know it’s now what you asked for, but it is like 4k already written so that might be smth--an LBO Sam would be tricky because Sam would be itty bitty and Matt wouldn’t have the same kind of relationship with him.

As for selkie-verse Sam? I would have to do more research on Chinese spirts/fae/folklore, but for now, he’s not fae, just human 💖He’s like 12 and can make himself invisible though, which would be very confusing for Sue if she ever bumped into him

(Sue: baby boggart??? come here I love you I will look after you.)

(Sam: please stay exactly 5037 feet away from me! Thank you and I’m calling my mom!)

Here is the What If Jack and Mike thing from the Inimitable Verse.

Jack Murdock was the size of a house. He made Matt look dainty. He made Kirsten look like a kids’ mannequin. And he made Foggy laugh until he wept.

Sam could not understand a goddamn thing he said. Nor could he understand the guy he’d brought with him, who appeared to have had some serious plastic surgery to look exactly like Matt.

Sam could take an unintelligible giant. What he couldn’t take was an unintelligible Matt, and before him, somehow, in this ring of ginger, he’d been presented with two unintellible Matts.

His head was spinning.

Kirsten patted at him sympathetically.

“I’m from New York,” Sam told her mournfully.

“I know, hon.”

“How is this even possible? You’re from New York. How are they—what are they saying?”

Kirsten shook her head.

“Only Foggy knows,” she said. “It’s okay, he’ll translate when he gets back up.”

 --

 Mr. Murdock, the tallest of the gingers, might have been a good three to four inches taller than his boys, and he might have had the biggest hands that Sam had ever had the opportunity to touch in his life, but he was really nothing but a big, shaggy sheep dog.

The reasons Sam couldn’t understand a single fucking word he said came threefold.

1) Mr. Murdock had grown up in mid-century Hell’s Kitchen. That was just how accents from those parts used to sound. They’d lightened with time.

2) He had an extra layer of what Matt called a ‘brogue.’ He was first-generation American. Both his folks had immigrated from Ireland. He talked halfway between the way they talked and the way that the kids in his neighborhood growing up had.

And 3) The man had a lisp?

It wasn’t super noticeable. Sam sure as shit couldn’t hear it among the other layers of stuff going on, but Foggy said it was there.

Apparently, it came out more when he was anxious.

Apparently, he was anxious a lot.

Foggy told Sam to just give it an hour and he’d understand.

 --

  “So your name is Sam?” Mr. Murdock asked him while Sam tried to keep his mouth from falling open.

Matt was holding his facial-copy-cat against the wall by his lapels. The copy-cat had started making kissy noises at him. He egged Matt on to punch him right in the face.  

No one was stopping them.  

Kirsten cleared her throat and brought Sam back down to earth.

“Yeah,” he said. “Sam. Mr., uh—”

“Call me Jack.”

Never.

“Matty hasn’t said much about you, sorry to say.” Mr. Murdock explained. The more he spoke directly to Sam, the more Sam found, to his relief, that he could understand him. “He don’t like sharin’ things his brother can get ahold of and take from ‘im.”

Sam looked from him to the ‘brother.’

“There’s two of them?” he asked.

Mr. Murdock hummed.

“God help us, every one,” he huffed.

You can say that again.

“How long has there been two?” Sam asked hesitantly.

“Mm? Oh, uh. Christ with the math,” Mr. Murdock said, “Michael—Michael—boy, you knock that off; that’s how you lose teeth—how old are you now?”

Nevermind. Sam didn’t need to know.

“I’m ageless, Pops, remember?” ‘Michael’ said, grinning at Matt’s sneer in his face, “Everlasting, never dying. Immortal. Timeless. I’m—” Dude got the wind knocked out his sails from Matt aiming for his solar plexus instead of his face.

“Maitiú,” Mr. Murdock said sharply. “He’s your brother.”

“He earned it,” Matt snapped back at his dad. “You said ‘no teeth,’ I ain’t even touched his goddamn teeth.”

“No, you coward, you wouldn’t, would you?” Michael threw back at Matt with no sense in his head. “You scared of gettin’ stuck on all that metal, huh?”

“I ain’t got my tetanus booster,” Matt deadpanned.

“Oh, get the yellow fever one next time, it’s a hoot—”

“I’m mailing you back to Thailand in a crate.”

“Oh mail me, why don’t you?”

“I’m gonna.”

“Boys,” Mr. Murdock said, exasperated. “Knock it off. You love each other. We get it.”

Kirsten shook with giggles.

“I’d drown you in the open ocean and then kill myself,” Matt said through gritted teeth. His nose was maybe an inch from his brother’s.

Michael just beamed.

“Aw, babe. You’d do that for me?” he gushed.

“HHhhh—”

“Maitiú.”

Sam had never heard someone said ‘Matthew’ this way. It was delightful. It made Matt’s shoulders go stiff as a board and then squirm in barely contained fury.

“Thank you,” Mr. Murdock said. “Drop ‘im.”

Matt didn’t want to, but he released his grip on his sibling. Michael slipped down and then caught himself and straightened himself out.

“Well, I’ll never,” he said. “We come all this way to visit you on your deathbed and—”

“I’m not dying,” Matt said.

“—you worry Dad sick for months on end. Don’t call. Don’t write. He thought the Californians had eaten you—"

“—I told him that it was a dislocation and I’m fine—”

“—and of course I told him, ‘no Dad, there ain’t any more cannibals in California than there are in New York’ but who listens to Mike, huh?”

Mr. Murdock had only been in the house for 15 minutes and he already looked exhausted.

“Where are the dogs?” he asked Foggy.

 ---

 This was the weirdest time-out session Sam had ever experienced and he’d decided that he was living for it. Mr. Murdock went out onto the deck and locked himself out there with the dogs. Matt and his brother had never been more guilty.

Quickly the arguing turned towards scheming, which turned towards climbing out a window, which turned towards getting stuck on the roof and pleading with the Father to lend a hand.

Mr. Murdock observed Matt sobbing with laughter over Mike’s sudden anxiety of stepping from the roof to the deck’s arm railing with only hollowness.

“Mike’s not very super,” Sam pointed out to Kirsten.

“Nope,” she said brightly. “He is refreshingly normal,” she said. “Even the conman part.”

The what?

 ---

 Matt climbed off the roof with ease and took the opportunity to finally give his old man a hug, which Mr. Murdock seemed to appreciate. He smoothed a giant mitt of a hand through Matt’s hair tenderly, like he was a baby.

It was kind of cute.

Mike scowled at them both and announced that he was pretty fine, by the way. He’d just stay there on the roof until the vultures got him.

“Matt’s the younger twin,” Foggy told Sam cheerfully. “He can do no wrong.”

Sam felt like he could suddenly see the forest for the trees.

“And Mike?” he asked.

Foggy snickered.

“He and Jack live together to keep each other in good cardiac shape,” he said. “They drive each other nuts.”

“But they still live together?” Sam clarified.

“Yeah,” Foggy said. “Mike’s what happens when you give a used-car salesman ever so slightly too much brain. He travels all over. Gets shot at and held hostage a lot. He’ll do just about anything for a couple bucks, no matter how hard Jack’s tried to get him to go straight over the years.”

“And Mr. Murdock? He doesn’t mind his son living with him?” Sam asked.

Kirsten and Foggy softened.

“Matt used to check on him more when we lived back home,” Foggy said. “Without him and Mike, Jack’s by himself. He’s got friends and work, yeah, but you know. If it weren’t for Mike, he’d come home to an empty apartment every night. Man’s got too much head trauma for that to be any kind of good. Mike looks after him—probably more than he lets anyone else. He’s too stubborn to let Matt try to help him.”

Aw, cute.

“Be prepared, Sammy,” Foggy said. “Jack’s already adopted you.”

Say what now?

 ---

 Mr. Murdock didn’t outright say that Sam was puny and he was going to fix it, but Sam could see it in his disappointed gaze.

“Don’t like bread?” he asked as Sam chewed his way through an Uncrustable at the kitchen table. Sam froze with the sandwich in hand. He stared at it.

It was bread.

Surely, this was bread.

Right?

“Uh?” he tried.

“Don’t like the crusts?” Mr. Murdock asked him more gently.

Oh.

“I don’t mind them, these are premade though. You know, convenient,” Sam explained.

He got a stare impossible to read.

“Stay there,” Mr. Murdock decided.

It took too long for Sam’s brain to work out what had just happened, and by the time it had, it was too late. Matt stuck his head in the room and asked Sam why he’d told his dad that Matt was starving him.

Sam floundered and tried to explain the sandwiches. Matt absorbed this and rolled his whole head.

“Well, now he’s makin’ a week’s worth for you,” he sighed. “Wants you to eat the crust.”

Dude.

“It’s easier not to question it,” Matt sighed. “What kind of jelly do you want?”

 ---

 Matt didn’t interrogate his father, but Mike did. Unrepentantly. He walked in as Sam was emphasizing that he didn’t want any kind of jelly and he’d make his own sandwiches and understood the entire situation faster than Sam could have possibly explained it.

“FATHER,” he roared. “Leave the boy alone, he’s not starvin’, he’s just short.”

Flattering. Thanks, asshole.

There was no response from the kitchen. Matt told Mike to ease off. Mr. Murdock was trying to be nice.

“There’s nice and then there’s rude,” Mike said.

“And you’re rude?” Matt offered.

There was a pause.

A warm hand found the space in between Sam’s shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry about both of ‘em, kid, they got rocks for brains, it ain’t their fault. Our grandfather was a caveman, you know how it is,” Mike said kindly.

Matt was not amused.

“It’s not a big deal,” he repeated. “I’ll eat ‘em if Sam doesn’t want ‘em.”

“And subject yourself to peanut butter hell for multiple days in a row, Maitiú?” Mike asked, scandalized.

Matt glared in the direction of the stairs.

“Some of us enjoy nut protein,” he said.

Sam blinked in shock as big hands slapped themselves over his ears.

“There are children present,” Mike hissed.

Sam found the guy’s middle fingers and yanked. Mike swore. Matt chuckled.

“He ain’t a baby,” he said fondly. “Sam’s a tough cookie.”

You’re damn right he was.

“Charming,” Mike grumbled as Matt abandoned them for the kitchen again. He scowled down at Sam. “What’s your gimmick then?” he asked.

Sam wondered if he could make his contacts come out by blinking slowly enough. It would be cool as fuck. It definitely wasn’t happening.

“I control typhoons,” he said.

Mike winced.

“Fuckin’ vigilantes,” he said.

 ---

 Mr. Murdock gave Sam a second sandwich. He’d cut it into quarters.

“Matt says you don’t like jelly,” he said. “Bananas are better?”

Sam couldn’t help but like him.

“Yeah. I don’t eat much bread generally,” he said. “My family has always been more about rice.”

Mr. Murdock analyzed him.

“I can do rice,” he said.

Bless. It was okay, really.

“Do you like spicy things, Mr. Murdock?” Sam asked.

“Jack.”

Nice try.

“Spicy?” Sam repeated.

Mr. Murdock considered it.

“Not sure,” he said. “You mean like hot sauce? I ain’t fuck with that ghost pepper shit.”

Sam hummed.

“Before you leave, I’ll cook for you in return,” he said. “I won’t make it too spicy, cross my heart.”

Mr. Murdock considered this and then got a look in his eye that made Sam’s cheeks start to ache a little.

 ---

 Matt told Sam to play nice. Matt told his father to play nice.

There was to be no hiding chilis in Mike’s pasta.

They were caught and scolded.

“Not to worry,” Mr. Murdock told Sam fondly, “There are other ways.”

 ---

 Sam had never seen such outrage over a knot in a shoelace. Matt crossed his arms over his chest, seconds away from tapping his own foot.

“You said you were ready,” he reminded Mike for the fourth time.

“I know what I said,” Mike snapped at him. He’d dug through all the kitchen drawers to procure a metal skewer to apply to this situation.

“We’re going to be late,” Matt said. “I wait for my guide, she doesn’t wait for me.”

“Well she’s waitin’ today,” Mike said. “I swear to god—”

Mr. Murdock stroked the top of Tuesday’s head and asked Mike if he’d tried putting baby powder on it. Mike spat at him to mind his own business and went back to the knot. He managed it get it untangled and the shoe half on just in time to find the second one stuck in the third hole down.

He just about vibrated with fury.

Matt sighed loudly.

“Borrow mine already,” he said.

“Never.”

“Mike.”

“They’re blue. This outfit tolerates only warm colors, Matthew. ONLY warms.”

“We’re late.”

“Style waits for no man.”

“Well, clearly that ain’t the case, is it?”

Mike stood up sharply.

“I’m going to change,” he said. “And whatever elf tied these will rue the day. Mark my words.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll tell the elf—oh, my bad, the clown, Mike. It’s you. Get your life together. We’re late.”

Hilarious.

 ---

  “Why don’t you move out here?” Sam asked Mr. Murdock as he watched Sam sand away at his latest secret project in Matt’s absence.

“Sun’ll kill me,” Mr. Murdock deadpanned.

“I thought so too, but it’s not so bad,” Sam said. “I miss the snow sometimes.”

Mr. Murdock cocked his head and then knelt down to take the sanding block out of Sam’s hands. He gestured for Sam to give him the hunk of wood in his hands, too.

“Matty says you don’t got papers,” he said.

Sam was surprised. Matt usually kept that secret locked tight. But Mr. Murdock didn’t seem to have any adverse reaction to it.

“No,” Sam admitted. “My mom brought me here when I was really little. I didn’t know what it meant to overstay a visa.”

Mr. Murdock hummed.

“Makes flying tricky,” he said.

Yeah.

“Bus, not too bad, though?”

Mm. Bus was better, yes.

“Train?”

Depended on the train.

“Hm. Well, if you get homesick or need busfare, you just give a shout, ya hear? You’re always welcome to stay with us.”

Aww.

“Or if you really hate yourself, I’m sure Mike would love to come pick you up.”

Oh god.

“He can drive?” Sam asked.

Mr. Murdock paused and held his face in his dusty palm.

“The day he got his license was the worst day of my life,” he said.

Sam snickered.

“Did you guys drive all the way here?” he asked.

“No, thank god.”

“Can you drive?”

“Son.”

Sam looked up from the block of wood into Mr. Murdock’s hazel eyes.

“I take two steps out of New York and I’m gone, that’s me dead. No, I don’t drive. Why the hell would I drive? Where the hell am I goin’?”

Wow, mood.

“I tried to drive once,” Sam said. “Reversed into a fire hydrant. Matt laughed so hard he cried.”

Mr. Murdock handed back the woodblock. It was much smoother than it had been. Sam was chocking that up to the muscles and the practice.

 ---

 Matt and Mike got home and Mike announced that he was disowning that ‘putrid being’ that was the Swamp Monster beside him. Matt told Mr. Murdock that Mike didn’t approve of the swimming part of triathlon.

Mr. Murdock picked leaves out of his hair with supreme patience.

 ---

 “So Dad’s officially decided that you’re his grandson,” Mike informed Sam out of nowhere that Sunday. “He prayed for you at church today.”

Sam almost dropped his wrench. That was so endearing his teeth hurt.

“It’s ‘cause I do woodwork,” he said. “He can smell the handyman on me.”

Mike cocked his head to the side. His eyes were blue like Matt’s. Their mom must have had blue eyes—or maybe hazel like Mr. Murdock’s.

“No,” Mike said. “It’s ‘cause he’s also been a grocery bagger, a janitor, and a contractor.”

He what now?

“He wants to know why you aren’t in college.”

Oh. well—

“Matt tried to explain, but you know, it ain’t clickin’. He don’t get the politics part of things sometimes. Gets confused why people make such a big deal when there’s obvious solutions in front of ‘em. It’s not all his fault, he barely got a highschool diploma back when ‘critical thinking’ wasn’t even a testing category. Anyways, he wants you to go to college. Thinks you’re too smart to be pushin’ paper.”

Sam was going to cry.

“I think he sees a lot of Matt in you,” Mike said with a squint. “So just as a warning, he’s unbearable. Always—well, no. More like 95% of the year. He’s alright around New Years when he’s tired. You can tell him to fuck off at any time, though.”

No, no. It was okay. It was nice to have…more family. That’s what it was.

“I hope you know what this means, Samuel,” Mike said.

Mmm no?

Mike’s hand clasped his shoulder.

“You can call me ‘uncle,’” he said.

Ah.

No, thanks.

 ---

 Foggy and Kirsten couldn’t look at Sam without bursting into merciless laughter, which Sam had realized was a result of Mike’s vocal distress at his rejected offer of uncle-dom. Sam didn’t know what to tell him.

Mr. Murdock was nice. Enormous, yes, but very well meaning and gentle. His and Sam’s priorities and experience in life aligned neatly and Sam was slightly charmed by the way that he expressed himself verbally only to Matt and Mike.

Sam also didn’t hate Mike. He just didn’t want him to have uncle privileges. He didn’t see what was difficult about this.

“Mike’s got a history of rejection,” Foggy said. “And by that, I mean that every woman on the eastern seaboard has rejected him and he tries anyways.”

 ---

 Matt came downstairs and told Sam to ignore everything Mike said to him all day. He also said that they were going out that night, so don’t burn fingers on the soldering iron.

Sam saluted in acknowledgement.

Forty minutes later there was a rap at his door followed by Mike saying through it that he wanted to show Sam something.

Sam did not open the door.

He heard Matt’s name being cursed on the other side.

 ---

 Twenty minutes later there was another knock, this time with Mike saying that Mr. Murdock wanted to bond with Sam.

Sam nudged open his curtains and squinted hard into the backyard where he could see the vague shape of Matt chatting to his dad on the deck stairs, both apparently having a beer and shooting the shit.

This was a scam.

Sam would not be scammed.

He went back to the suit.

There was more cursing outside the door.

 ---

 About half an hour later, there was a knock, followed by Mr. Murdock’s voice this time, asking Sam if his shoes were supposed to be on the front porch.

They were not.

This was playing dirty.

Sam ventured out to go right this wrong and ended up outside on the front porch with the conman himself. Mike closed the door after him triumphantly and proceeded to get them both locked out.

“Are you supposed to be a good conman or?” Sam asked.

Mike gaped at him.

“The best conman,” he said. “Don’t worry, kid, I’ve broken into a thousand houses and won two horses. I’ve got this.”

That was not comforting. Sam was not comforted.

“First, we gotta test all the windows, and, failing that, we get a rock or a gun,” Mike told him with a knowing finger.

Sam blinked at it and then up at Mike. The man’s shoulders twitched.

“Uh?” Mike said.

Ah. The eyes. No contacts today.

“Do you like them? They’re Prada,” Sam said to absolute silence.

“A brick,” Mike announced abruptly. “A brick works too. Like a rock but bigger.”

Okay, so they weren’t talking about it, gotcha. Look, a whole family’s worth of repression styles. Sam was glad that they had a full set of methods.

 ---

 Sam broke into his own bedroom through the window. Mike clapped for him outside. Sam opted to leave him there.

 ---

 He was sort of sad to see the Murdocks go, especially after seeing the effect that the most senior of them had on Matt.

Sam hadn’t seen him this chilled out. He visibly relaxed under his dad’s hand on the back of his neck. He tolerated the fussing and constant hair fixing and the fingers brushing at his cheeks and elbows. Mr. Murdock guided him with the same practiced ease that Foggy and Kirsten did, but his guiding was accompanied by a quiet, ongoing commentary about the street around them, which Sam hadn’t actually heard Foggy do in the same kind of way.

It was like Mr. Murdock was telling Matt a story everywhere they went.

He told him when there were flags hanging up a story above, waving in the wind. He told him about the hanging wire baskets of flowers that Sam forgot about. He huffed a bit while he talked about lines of traffic in the street and a vast lack of color in the group due to the absence of so many yellow cabs.

Mr. Murdock of course, had been Matt’s first ever guide. It only made sense that he had a specialized style of it, just for Matt.

And for Matt’s sake, Sam didn’t want him to go, but alas, New Yorkers, man. The city called them back to the coast like a siren.

“You take it easy, y’hear, kiddo?” Mr. Murdock told him at the airport.

Sam smiled and said that he’d try.

“Take care of yourself. I mean that. Out at night too.”

Copy that, big guy.

“Give us a hug.”

Oh??? A hug??? Sam loved hugs. Hugs were great. He was—er. Leaving this one with double the ribs from the cracks apparently.

Mr. Murdock released him to go break Matt in half and then Foggy and then Kirsten. Mike told him that he couldn’t avoid flying again by hugging people. He also warned Kirsten that he’d see her soon and that then, she was sure to fall for his charms.

Kirsten said that she would be waiting with bated breath, and then that was it. Three Murdocks again whittled down to one.

“God, I should have married your dad,” Foggy moaned.

Matt laughed at him.

“He’s plenty busy avoiding the gaze of every person over sixty in his building. Let him live,”  he said. “Sam? Not too traumatized, I hope?”

Mm. Not so bad.

“Are you sure Mike’s your brother?” he asked.

“Unfortunately.”

Too bad.

“It’s fine, if we ever need a guy to distract the police, we’ve got him on retainer.”

That was true.

“They’ll come back?” Sam asked.

Matt paused before feeling for his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he said. “Or we’ll go to them. I think you’d enjoy watching them in their natural environment.”

 -----------

Hope that’s something for you anon!! I also hope you feel better!

[calpalirwin]

Hush, Hush

Request: Could you please write a Michael x Reader based on the song Hush Hush by The Band CAMINO? Where they have a secret relationship. Maybe include a scene where the guys find out because read accidentally LEFT THEIR FRIGGIN UNDERWEAR

Content: Heavily implied smut

Word Count: 3.6k

And away, and away we go!

__

Y/N spotted Calum easily as he tried to look as inconspicuous as possible in a plain black t-shirt, blue jeans, a hat covering his head of curls, and sunglasses pushed up on his face. “Hey, you! How was your flight?” he greeted as he wrapped his cousin in a hug.

“Long, but worth it to be here,” she grinned, returning the embrace with the same amount of warmth as the bright LA sun outside. “You fuckin’ take a page from the Avengers? You know this disguise is shit, right?”

“If I learned one thing from all the covid nonsense, it’s actually that this shit disguise works surprisingly well.”

“In covid we covered the lower half of our faces, ya dingus.”

“Works the same either way. Half the face covered is half the face covered. You check any bags?”

“Nah, I crammed as much shit as I could in my carry on and backpack.”

“Sweet, let’s roll.”

“So, you like living here in LA?” she asked as they made their way to his car.

“Yeah. Kinda hard not to. Nice weather. Good people. So, I know you’re here to look at houses and stuff, but Mum didn’t explain to me why you’re moving here. She was just like ‘pick up your cousin from the airport and be good’ like I was just gonna leave you to fend for yourself or some shit.”

Y/N laughed. “While I definitely appreciate you picking me up, and letting me stay with you this week, I’ll kick your ass if you start babying me. You may be taller, but I’m still older than you.”

Calum laughed along. “That’s what I told Mum but, she wouldn’t listen. I was like Y/N’s a big girl, she doesn’t need a chaperone.”

“That’s Aunt Joy for ya though. She misses you. We all do. Well except me, of course.”

Calum snorted as he clicked the unlock button on his car. “Yeah, I miss everyone but you too, so I guess we’re even. But what was it that sent you here?”

“Job relocation. Well… sort of.”

“What do you mean sort of?” he asked as he placed her suitcase in the backseat, the backpack following. 

“So I’ve been doing a lot more freelance work since my job’s been fucking me around since day one. And I finally said fuck it, I’m gonna make my own business. So while I’m here to look at apartments and shit, I’m also here to scout out business locations looking to rent out space.”

“Well shit, why didn’t you tell me before now?” he asked as they got in the front seat. “Moving’s expensive. Starting your own business is expensive. Living here is expensive. Doing all that shit at once? Geez, you a secret millionaire?”

“You’re not the only successful one, Cal. I make good money.”

“You know I don’t mean it like that. I just meant that you could’ve told me what was really going on. So that way I could’ve put you in contact with Andy and Sarah already, cuz they probably know some people who can help you out. Hell you can help them out by freelancing for them. They work too damn hard, they could definitely use the extra help. Plus you’re fuckin good at what you do. And I could’ve also told you that you don’t need to bother looking for a place cuz you could just stay with me.”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you, Cal. I wanna do this on my own.”

“I’m not saying you gotta live with me forever, Y/N. I’m just saying you can while you focus all your energy and resources on what really matters which is getting your business up and running. Plus, I know you’re gonna pick like the most cheapass, run-down studio apartment anyway because you’re gonna justify it by saying you’re just there to sleep anyway. So why spend any money on some shitty apartment when you can just stay at my nice, nonshitty house for free instead? I mean, you’re only there to sleep basically right?”

Y/N’s eyes narrowed. She hated that he knew her so well. “There’s no way you’re letting this go until I agree to move in with you, is there?”

“Not a one.”

“Fine. But only until I get my business off the ground. Once that’s up and running, I’m getting my own place.”

“A decent place,” Calum pushed.

“A decent place,” she agreed with an eye roll. “I’ll even splurge for an actual bedroom.”

“You got yourself a deal.”

“You got yourself a roommate.”

~~~

Michael couldn’t keep his eyes off Y/N. He knew he wasn’t supposed to stare. A.) Staring was rude, and he wasn’t a rude person. And B.) Calum was his best and longest friend, and Y/N was his cousin which made her inexplicably off-limits. But there was something so tempting about wanting someone you knew you couldn’t have. And it didn’t help matters that every time he caught himself looking her way, she was already watching him.

“I’m Michael,” he introduced stupidly when they both ended up in Calum’s kitchen by themselves. 

“I know,” she grinned. “We already did introductions, remember?”

His cheeks flushed pink, and one of his hands rubbed at the back of his neck. “Right. Yeah. H-how long did you say you’re staying with Cal for?”

“Well originally I was only gonna be here for a week while I sorted things out. But Cal’s… strong-willed about things. So I’m staying with him indefinitely while I get sorted instead.”

“Mmm, right. With your new business and everything. So you’ll be around quite a bit, huh?”

“Loads,” she nodded with a flirtatious smile. “And I’ll probably be lonely. I don’t really know anyone here besides Cal. His friends seem nice though. And one of them’s really cute.”

Michael breathed deeply, and even from the small distance between them she could feel his hot exhale on her skin. “We can’t,” he sighed in defeat.

“Says who?”

“Says like every bro code.”

“Are you saying you don’t want this as badly as I do?”

“Want it so bad,” Michael admitted, his voice a low whimper. His green eyes looked around. While nobody from outside was peering in, they were still in everyone’s line of sight if someone happened to glance their way. Which meant that they only had two options, neither of which led to what they really wanted which was to slink away from the party without raising suspicion. “But we can’t. Not now, anyway. Not here.”

“Right. I don’t want to make anything weird between you and Cal. Or between me and him. And we don’t even know what we are. Maybe this is just an infatuation that’ll run its course if we don’t play into it.”

“Maybe it’s not,” Michael countered. “God, I hope it’s not, cuz I really want to play into this.”

“Me too. God, I hope you’re right.”

“Hope he’s right about what?” Calum asked, as he came in through the sliding glass door. 

“Uh, my business!” she blurted. “Mike was just telling me that he thinks it’s gonna do really well here cuz I’ll be able to get more connections with your help and stuff.”

Calum hummed in response. “Mike’s right ya know. Like you already did the scary part of moving out here. The rest is just doing your job. Which you already know how to do, and you do it very well I might add.”

Michael let out the breath he’d been holding as Calum disappeared off to the bathroom. “Fuck, that was close. You think pretty good on your feet.”

Y/N chuckled nervously. “Thanks. God, he scared the shit out of me, and we weren’t even doing anything.”

“Backing out?” Michael asked with a twinge of a challenge to mask the underlying brace for rejection.

“We’re fucked if we get caught.”

“So fucked.”

“Guess we better not get caught then.”

Michael grinned.

~~~

She smirked at the message. A painful month of sneaking behind her cousin’s back, and she only wanted the man with wild trouble in those piercing green eyes more with each hidden touch. Needed him the same way Michael needed her. From the doorway, Calum wolf-whistled at the outfit lying on the bed: a slinky black dress with a slit in the thigh, and a matching black lace bra and panty set. “Going somewhere?” he questioned in amusement.

“Yes!” Y/N said with indignation. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

Calum chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. “I didn’t mean it as a bad thing. It’s good that you’re going out. You going out with friends, or a guy?”

“Friends,” she lied.

“That’s a hell of a dress for a girls’ night out,” he chuckled again. “You could tell me if it was a guy, ya know. We’re not little kids. I’m not gonna be shocked if you’re getting laid. Be a little worried if you weren’t in all honesty.”

She bit into her lower lip, wondering briefly if it was better to come clean now. Y/N decided on half-admittance. “Alright, it’s a guy. But we’re still in that figuring it out stage. Enjoying each other’s company.”

“Yeah, I bet you are,” Calum smirked.

“Shut up,” she laughed. “And get out so I can finish getting ready.”

“He picking you up?”

She shook her head. “No, we’re meeting up at the bar.”

“So, you’re driving?”

“Relax, spazz. I’m taking an Uber. No drinking and driving here.”

“Good. And hey, do me one small favor?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Go back to his place. Don’t bring him here. Rather spare myself the mental image.”

“I wouldn’t dream of bringing him here, you’re good.”

“Good, good. And hey, if he ends up not enjoying your time anymore A.) he’s an idiot, especially if you’re meeting him dressed in that. And B.) Call me, and I’ll come get ya. No matter the time.”

“Thanks, Cal. Now seriously leave.”

20 minutes after Michael asked to meet in 15 minutes, she was climbing into his car. “Geez, what took you so long?” he questioned, leaning across the seat to press a heated and bruising kiss to Y/N’s lips.

“Cal walked by when I was getting ready. You know for the quiet one, he really doesn’t ever shut up.”

“Shit, think he’s getting suspicious?”

“Nah. I mean I told him I was sort of seeing somebody. But I don’t think he thinks it’s you.”

“Sort of seeing somebody, huh?” Under a passing streetlight, she could see the corner of his lips pull up in a smirk. “You can call me your boyfriend if you want.”

“Oh, is that what you are?” she teased.

Michael chuckled. “I mean not to be heavy, but we’ve been seeing each other a while now. I think this is becoming something more than passing infatuation. I’m not seeing anyone else besides you. I don’t want to see anyone besides you. But if you don’t want to label this because of Cal or whatever, I can respect that.”

“No, no,” she said, softly, fingers tracing across the thick tattooed band on his arm. “I’d like that. Plus, might make telling Cal easier? So we can stop sneaking around? Not that I haven’t loved this. But, I’d really like to not act like we don’t know each other around company.”

His hand brought hers to his lips to stamp kisses over it as he pulled into his driveway. “We’ll tell him soon. Until then, I’m gonna enjoy keeping you to myself.” His gaze turned to take her in, his next breath catching in his throat. “Fuck… Did I tell you how stunning you look, yet? Or was I too busy griping about Cal holding you up like an ass?”

Her cheeks blushed. “Too busy griping. But that’s okay.”

“I think I can think of a way or two to make it up to you.”

“Oh, is that so? Do tell.”

“I think showing you might be more appropriate.”

She shuddered at his words. “Humor me anyway?”

“Let’s just say if my neighbors don’t know me already, they certainly will by tomorrow, because I am going to thoroughly enjoy familiarizing myself with every inch of your skin. And listening to how good my name sounds rolling off your tongue, and how good yours tastes on mine.”

How they managed to make their way inside the house was a mystery to them both as hands tangled in hair, and tongues explored mouths and the column of the other’s throat. Teeth nipped skin, as Y/N’s fell back onto the couch, and Michael marked a path down her body. “Pretty,” his voice taunted from underneath the skirt of her dress as he snapped the waistband of her panties, before pulling them down and off her legs, spitting the lace fabric out of his mouth.

“M-Mike,” she panted, her back arching, searching for him.

“Aw,” he taunted more, his face inches from hers. “You can do better than that. C’mon, I’m sure I got a few neighbors who don’t know who I am yet. Don’t you want to tell them my name, pretty girl?”

“Mike!” The repetition of his name was louder, the desperation in her voice stronger as her fingers wrapped around his wrist and guided him towards where she needed him.

As they surrendered themselves to each other, their names mingled together in the air like the most profanity-riddled melody, each of them certain that by the time daylight broke through the curtains, the neighborhood not only knew his name, but hers as well. 

~~~

Michael tiptoed around the clothes scattered on the floor as he made his way to the dresser, a wide smile plastered on his face. Their first bout that had shook the foundation of the house had led to them curled up on the couch, whispering the sweet promises of budding love against each other’s skin, before retiring to the bedroom. Which then led to a much slower love making of hot moans panted against heated skin, fingers intertwined, and locked gazes swirling with desire, love, lust, and passion. Afterwards exhaustion set in, and they fell asleep in a tangled web of limbs and bedsheets. 

He’d woken up, sure that this had all been a dream, but much to his delight, she was still sleeping soundly in his arms. And after waking her up, he was grabbing her some clothes to put on before joining her in the shower. Or he would have if someone wasn’t banging on his front door.

Confused, he made his way to the front of the house, pulling the front door open to find Ashton, Calum, and Luke on the other side. “See? I told you guys we should’ve waited until he responded,” Luke said with a shake of his head.

“Aw, who gives a shit?” Calum asked rhetorically, shouldering his way past a still confused Michael to get inside the house.

“Uh? What are you guys doing here?” Michael asked, stepping out of the way as Ashton and Luke followed Calum inside.

“Saturdays are for the boys, remember?” Ashton grinned.

“Yeah, but like… did we have actual plans? I- sorry… still waking up.”

“Long night?” Calum teased with a smirk.

“I’ll say,” Luke answered, blue eyes zeroed in on a pair of panties half-wedged between a couch cushion. “You got a girlfriend, Mikey?”

“Holy shit!” Ashton choked, giggling at the sight of Michael with his face frozen in terror. “Is she still here? Is that why you’re so jumpy, mate? Ya got your girlfriend hidden somewhere in your mini mansion?”

“I- What? Pffft, no!” Michael sputtered, grabbing the panties and balling them up in his fist, his green eyes looking wildly at Calum for any indication that his friend might be on to him.

Calum misinterpreted the look as a plea to step in on Michael’s defense. “Aw, leave him be guys. We should be celebrating that he’s finally getting back out there, not giving him shit for it. So when are we gonna meet the girl? When she comes back to claim her lost panties? Or should we leave to not embarrass the poor girl, and meet her some other time?”

“That,” Michael chimed in, “is a great idea, Cal. You guys should leave, because this is part of a matching set, so I’m sure she’ll be by the moment she realizes, and she’ll probably be embarrassed enough as is. So it might be best if you guys aren’t around when that happens. No offense.”

“Matching set?” Calum asked with a raised eyebrow and Michael gulped. “Damn, that girl knew what she was doing.”

The green-eyed blonde chuckled nervously. “Heh, yeah. She’s really cool. I like spending time with her. We’re still kinda figuring some stuff out, but I’ll be sure to bring her around s-”

“Hey, Mike? Have you seen my pa- oh fuck!”

“Y/N!” Calum thundered, jumping to his feet, while Ashton and Luke sucked in their breath and Michael and Y/N looked like a couple of deer trapped in headlights. “The guy you’re seeing is Mike?! You’re fucking my cousin?! And I’m finding this out now?! How long has this been happening?!”

“Maybe now’s not the time to ask questions,” Y/N hissed, trying to make herself as small as possible as she clutched the large towel around her like a lifeline.

“GET DRESSED!” Calum barked, his mind racing.

Michael and Y/N bolted to his bedroom, Ashton’s and Luke’s unrestrained laughter finally breaking free in the background while Calum screeched at them that “IT’S NOT FUNNY!”

“It’s a little funny,” was the barely audible response between wheezes and gasps for air.

Behind the closed door in the safety of the bedroom, Michael and Y/N shared a frantic look. “Well… that wasn’t the way I pictured that going in my head,” Y/N mumbled as she pulled the shirt Michael offered her on over her bra.

“Luke found your underwear,” he mumbled back, handing her the wadded up lace. “Sorry, I wrinkled it.”

“It’s fine,” she told him, stepping into them and then taking the offered gym shorts and stepping into those as well while he pulled on a pair of grey sweats over his boxers. “Hey,” she said softly, reaching up to cup his face and focus his frazzled mind on her. “We’re fine. Right?”

He gave her a small smile, relaxing at her touch. “We’re more than fine,” he nodded, kissing her forehead, each of her cheeks, her nose, and then finally her lips. “I still want you. And if Cal can’t deal with that… well… I…”

“Shh, don’t think about it. Cal’s not gonna care. Just gotta let the shock wear off, first.”

He nodded, his forehead resting against hers, green eyes searching for any kind of hope that they weren’t about to self-destruct; that if it really came down to it, they’d at least hesitate to choose Calum over the other. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, a tear sliding down his cheek despite his best efforts at self control. “This is all my fault. I- I just need you to know that this wasn’t a fleeting moment of infatuation for me. That I-“

“Ssssshhhhh,” she soothed, her thumb rubbing across his cheekbone. “Don’t do this. Don’t say goodbye before we have to.”

They slowly crept their way back to the living room, finding Calum in full interrogation mode. “Did you two know?” he was asking Ashton and Luke, whose bodies were still shaking from barely controlled laughter.

“Hand to God, we didn’t know,” Ashton swore.

“Honest,” Luke agreed before both men sputtered into a new fit of giggles.

Calum’s eyes narrowed, not sure what to believe as he turned on his heel, coming face-to-face with Michael. “Did they know?” he demanded.

“No. Nobody knew,” Michael told him.

“So what? Are you embarrassed to be with her, or something? Are you embarrassed to be with him?” The brown eyes shifted back and forth between the couple.

“No,” it was Y/N’s turn to answer. “We just didn’t want to come to you guys with the news before we figured out what we were to each other first.”

“And what are you to each other?”

“We’re dating.”

“And how long has this been going on?”

“About a month.”

“So, the whole time? Great… You’re a real pal, Mike.”

“Oh, leave him alone,” Y/N defended. “Like you go blabbing to the world whenever you start to get to know someone? No. You wait until you’re sure it’s not just a fleeting moment. Gimme a break, Cal.”

“So… this is like… for real then? You actually like like each other, and shit?”

“We really do,” Michael nodded.

“I see… Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember what I told you last night about not bringing the guy you were seeing home because I’d rather not have that mental image?”

“Yeah. What about it? Change your mind?” she teased.

Calum gagged. “Fuckin’ God, no! If you’re gonna insist on fucking Mike, do it as far away from me as possible. Also if you want to move out sooner, totally fine with that.”

Michael blinked in confusion. “Wait? You’re cool with this? With us?”

Calum shrugged. “If you make each other happy, you make each other happy. Not my place to tell you who you can and can’t date. But,” Calum’s tone changed to be as menacing as possible as he glowered at Michael, “break her heart, and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”

“What if she breaks mine?” Michael countered.

Calum laughed. “Then I’ll help you pick up the pieces, while secretly wondering what she ever saw in you because let’s face it, she’s too good for you.”

“I’d be more offended if you weren’t totally right.”

__

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